#i have some very dark jacob that i could probably mix with purple

[milkweedman]

Filing this under "sunsets i want to turn into batts to spin". I dont know how id do the inky purple black though... we shall see

[crimsonbubble]

Genshin Men NSFW HCs

cw. nsfw, gn!reader, mentions of male submission, edging (alhaitham, dainsleif), degradation (alhaitham, ayato), praise (alhaitham, ayato, kaveh), improper use of ayato's clone, voyeur!ayato, sadomasochism (childe), marking (childe), somnophilia (childe), oral (childe, dainsleif, diluc), bondage (diluc), fingering (diluc, itto, zhongli) slight food play (diluc), creampies/breeding kink (itto, zhongli), hairpulling (dainsleif, diluc, itto, kaveh), dick piercings (itto), mirror sex (kaveh), implied threesome (thoma), dragon!zhongli

[these are purely my personal thoughts so don't get your panties in a twist,, kaeya was originally on here too but i just cant figure out what to write for him :((]

reblogs and comments are appreciated <33

MINORS DNI !!

strict and mean dom

makes up hyper specific rules knowing you'll break them

bc he's a pretty red flag </3

prefers domming but won't oppose to subbing

likes having you chest down ass up just to pin your wrists against your back

prides himself in his control, edging both you and himself

just about teetering the edge of sweet bliss before being pulled away from it

his hands are either of your hips, pushing and molding you to fit between his fingers

or on the back of your thighs to hold you open while he pounds into you

definitely mixed his degradation with praise

a big tease

loves to go agonizingly slow

just to listen to you plead and whine

has definitely used his hydro clone on you

somehow ropes thoma into fucking you

def laughs at the obscene pornographic moans that spill from your both yours and thoma's lips

likes praise and degradation but prefers to reward you to feel how tightly you clench around him

holds your face so gently in comparison to his fast thrusts

has to be kissing you in some way shape or form bc he can't not have his lips on you

if you push his buttons in a very specific way, he'll be putty in your hands

sadomasochist

if you like being choked, having your ass smacked or manhandled

childe will more than happily oblige

as long as you choke and slap him in return

wouldn't mind letting go of the reins and letting you take him how you please

whether you ride him into oblivion or stick your dick in him is up to you

lives to suck dark hickeys into your neck

just watching the deep reds almost purples bloom across your skin has him awestruck

the type to wake you up by going down on you

but he expects to be woken up the same way in return

one of my fav switches with a sub lean

wants to give his all to his partner

just let him take care of you and he'll let you take care of him

is more than happy to please you however you want him to

tries to edge you but ends up edging himself and become far too sensitive far too quickly

big on praise both giving and receiving

just watching his cheeks go red when you praise him on how well he's doing

and him saying all the compliments under the sun as you make him feel good

love having his hands entangled in yours

nothing warms him more than holding onto your hand in moments like these

pleasure dom oml

big on making sure your satisfied

won't actually fuck you until you cum at least twice

either on his mouth or fingers depending on how well you behave

loves to hold your hips and waist

and have your thighs around his hips or on his shoulders

likes when you tug his hair softly

has tried bondage on you at least once using the finest silks he could get

could spend hours on his knees for you just pleasing you

has spilled grape juice on you just to lick it up

my fav himbo and subby switch ♡

LOVES to focus on you and your pleasure before considering him

wrings out at least two or three orgasms on his fingers and tongue alone

something in my horny brain is saying he has a tongue piercing

gets so messy when he pleases you and he loves it

leaves marks and bruises on your hips and thighs from how hard he's holding onto you

def has a dick piercing, probably a prince albert or three row jacobs ladder

loves holding eye contact and makes it his job to make sure your satisfied

hc that he cums a heavy amount so it makes uim perfect for creampies

hmm sensitive horns perfect for gripping and long pretty hair for tugging

service dom bordering submissive

like having a hand in your hair to angle your head down to make you watch as he sinks in and out of your hole

oml fucking you in front of a mirror

praise praise and more praise

soft and slow make out sessions are more common than you think

loves just holding you while you do it

just wrapping his arms around you and moaning into each other's ears

goes sex drunk because you always feel and look so good around him

did I mention praise?

no but seriously he's blubbering absolute nonsense as he ruts into you

submissive top !!

does what ever you please

loves giving but doesn't kind receiving

the prettiest moans and whimpers

love having you ride him, bouncing and circling your hips over his

looks at you with glassy eyes

loves hearing you moan bc he likes knowing how good he's doing

might get ayato involved just for some fun

caresses your face with gentle hands and kisses you so softly

totally thought of fucking you while uou were wearing his jacket

DRAGON!ZHONGLI (sorry I love this hc)

long forked tongue to please you with

big pretty hands to hold and finger you with

breeding kink bc he loves how it feels and looks to fill you up and watch it make a mess of your hole and the bed under you

since he has many forms probably turned into his woman form

you can't tell me he wouldn't go into his woman form just to please you

if he's feeling softer, his touches are gentle and delicate

as if he was handling the finest glaze lily

[fischerfrey]

Chapter 1: What Lies Ahead

Summary: A new year is starting at Hogwarts and Verna Malinda is entering her fifth year. She may have a little too much on her plate for the upcoming year though, because she’s been elected prefect...

Pairings: Eventual OC/Merula Snyde

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Mild swearing

A/N: Matthew Luther belongs to @hphmmatthewluther

As this is a rewrite, some of the dialogue is from the game either directly, or modified to fit the new narrative.

If anyone is interested in being tagged to new upates, let me know!

(Verna was born in December 1972, so she was 13 during the autumn term of her 2nd year)

Previous / Next

Chapter 1: What Lies Ahead

Verna Malinda had been anxiously awaiting the beginning of her fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, even with a detention of indeterminate length looming in front of her. She knew in her heart that this year was going to be important, and not just because of the O.W.L. examinations but because of the events of last June, and the chance of finding Jacob in the next vault. For Verna, summers had, for the past four years, felt like an inescapable limbo. Every year she longed to be back at Hogwarts, delving into the mystery of the Cursed Vaults. This year, however, she had been elected as a prefect to her great surprise. She hadn’t really considered prefectdom as something to aspire to, because all her time was spent either breaking the rules or planning to break them. Was it really appropriate for a Hogwarts prefect to be serving detention? Mysterious were the ways of Professor Dumbledore.

~

As the Hogwarts Express whistled as a signal for departure, Verna waved to her father from the train’s window and then turned to her friend, Rowan Khanna, the one out of the two of them who should’ve been the prefect. Rowan pushed their glasses up their nose and smiled.

“What is it?”

“I ought to go find Charlie,” Verna said as the train picked up speed. She’d been feeling all kinds of weird about talking to Rowan ever since she got the letter proclaiming her prefect. It had been Rowan’s ambition to claim that spot ever since year one, and somehow Verna had managed it even though she hadn’t even tried.

“Alright, I’ll find Ben. We’ll hold a spot for you, if you get a moment to come sit with us,” Rowan replied and the two headed their separate ways. So far it didn’t seem like Rowan was holding Verna’s election as a prefect against her. Even in their letters, Rowan had only seemed supportive and proud. They had been friends since first year, and Verna hadn’t exactly stolen Rowan’s spot on purpose. In fact, she was fairly certain she had entirely too much on her plate for this year even without being a prefect.

~

Once Verna located Charlie Weasley, Gryffindor’s resident Dragon-enthusiast and Quidditch hero, and as it happened, her fellow prefect, the two of them headed to the special carriage meant for prefects and the Head Boy and Girl.

“What in Merlin’s name possessed Professor Dumbledore and McGonagall to make you and I prefects?” asked Charlie, sounding genuinely confused, although in his defence, it was truly baffling.

“I have a theory that it’s to make us so busy we won’t have time to do any curse-breaking,” Verna reasoned.

“Bill’s a prefect and he’s had plenty of time,” Charlie argued but then added: “Though maybe that’s why he became the Head Boy… Wow, actually you might be right.”

“Thanks Chaz,” Verna laughed as the two entered the prefect carriage. It was already quite packed with new and old prefects, as well as Bill and the Head Girl, Ella Higgs.

“Are we late because I had to wait for you…?” Charlie whispered and Verna shushed him as Ella and Bill started to congratulate them on their achievement. Verna locked eyes with a certain Slytherin student across the carriage. Apparently Merula Snyde had also become a prefect. Verna should’ve expected as much. Her hair looked tousled as usual, but she had elected to sport a dark eye-makeup, which somehow made the purple of her eyes look even more prominent. Merula gave her a look of loathing and then promptly ignored her. Verna’s mood sunk.

“Hi Verna!” came a greeting from among the other fifth-year prefects. It was Matthew Luther, a Ravenclaw chaser who had given Verna a run for her galleons last quidditch season. Verna was pleased to see not only complete arseholes had become prefects.

“Hey!” Verna replied, taking her place among the others.

“Hi Luther,” Charlie whispered, smiling.

“Nice to see you two made it as prefects.”

Verna was about to answer but was quickly silenced by Bill who very deliberately raised his voice and started his introduction to the wonderful world of prefectdom, looking at the three of them meaningfully.

~

After nearly an hour of instruction, Bill and Ella bade them pleasant journey and reminded them of their job to patrol the corridors in regular intervals. After that, many returned to their friends or settled down in the prefects’ carriage. Bill walked up to Verna and Charlie.

“Congrats on becoming a prefect Verna!” he said and slapped her arm for good measure.

“Thanks, I’ll be sure to be as responsible as you, William.”

Bill laughed and Charlie rolled his eyes.

“Well, I for one think you two will do just fine,” added Bill.

“If you say so…” Charlie mused. “Should we find Rowan and Ben?” he asked Verna.

“Yeah, see you later Bill!”

“Remember to patrol the corridors! And don’t abuse your power!” Bill called after them as Verna and Charlie headed back to find the compartment their friends were sitting in.

“I don’t think he actually has as much faith in us as he lets on…” Charlie said.

“Yeah, probably not. After all he lives with you, and I’m the one who roped him into this curse-breaking stuff in the first place.”

“Yeah, at the ripe old age of 13.” reminded Charlie. Verna was really starting to doubt Professor Dumbledore’s judgement.

~

Rowan and Ben had found a carriage and reserved spots for them. The two seemed in good spirits and Verna felt much more relaxed. If Rowan was on her side, then everything was going to be okay. Even Ben seemed to be okay, even after he was used to attack Verna under the imperius curse last year.

“How was it?” asked Ben as Verna and Charlie took their seats. He glanced quickly at Rowan, who nodded encouragingly. Verna figured Rowan and Ben had been discussing the incident before she and Charlie arrived. The food trolley had passed ages ago, so Verna nicked a treacle tart from Rowan who gave her an exasperated but amused look.

“Pretty standard stuff, honestly. They explained everything we were told in the briefing about prefects at the end of last year,” explained Charlie.

“Who else was elected?” Rowan inquired.

“Oh you’ll never guess Slytherin’s-“

“Merula,” Rowan said before Charlie could finish.

“Yeah, and she seemed right pleased about it too, I bet she’s gonna have a blast abusing her position,” Verna grumbled. She really was not looking forward to yet another thing to compete over with Merula.

“Not if we abuse our position first,” Charlie said, grinning.

“No,” Rowan admonished them when they saw Verna’s matching grin.

“I’ll disown you both if you sink to her level.”

Both Charlie and Verna stopped grinning.

“Sorry Rowan,” Verna said bashfully. “We’ll try our best to make you proud.”

Rowan groaned in mock-annoyance, and all four of them laughed at the absurdity of the notion of Charlie and Verna as prefects. Even Ben. Verna’s hopes for the year were rejuvenated a little.

~

The rest of the journey went by in a relatively normal manner. Verna and Charlie patrolled the corridors every now and then but didn’t face any incidents. Tonks gave them both grief about becoming prefects though, and loudly announced that this is why she had trust issues. Verna couldn’t exactly blame her, they had after, pulled pranks together in the past and prefects had a well-earned reputation of being spoilsports. After sunset, the train arrived at the Hogsmeade Station and Charlie and Verna were again required to perform their new duties. Verna hadn’t really thought about how small the first years looked until they all filed out of the train and followed Hagrid to the boats. It wasn’t that long ago she had been in their shoes, completely terrified and anxious to start looking for her brother. Jacob. The thought stung like a wasp. It had taken four years and she was no closer to finding him as she was to finding the next cursed vault. Jacob had always been there to protect her and help her and what good was she, if she couldn’t do the same for him?

~

The Great Hall was all decked out for the Welcome Feast when they entered. Verna always felt a sense of belonging at the sight of Hogwarts, but it was also always mixed with something like dread. This year instead of Professor Dumbledore, it was Professor McGonagall taking the podium to hold the traditional speech after the Sorting. Apparently, the Headmaster was on an errand outside of Hogwarts. They were also going to have a new teacher for Defence Against the Dark Arts, which at this point surprised no one. The new DADA professor did surprise Verna, though. It was Madam Rakepick, the curse breaker Dumbledore had hired to investigate the vaults last year. Rakepick turned her eyes to Verna and something passed across her features, but Verna couldn’t place the expression. Then, just as fast as it had arrived, it passed, and McGonagall bid everyone dig in their food.

~

After the feast, as Verna and Charlie were getting ready to herd all the new Gryffindors (including Bill and Charlie’s little brother Percy) to their common room, Penny walked up to them, looking excited.

“Hey!” she beamed and tailing behind her was a small blonde girl who looked very much like Penny. “How was your summer?”

“Oh, you know, researching advanced curses, eagerly awaiting for my detention this year, the usual” Verna joked.

“I worked on my extra credit stuff for Professor Kettleburn,” Charlie said. “And hung out with my siblings. Fred and George have gotten it into their heads they wanna be the best quidditch players in the world and I have to be their coach.”

“That sounds really nice! We need to catch up more later, I just wanted to introduce you two to my sister, Beatrice,” Penny exclaimed, and the younger girl waved her hand at them.

“Hi,” she said, rather excitably.

“Hi Beatrice, I’m Verna and this is Charlie.”

Next to her Charlie smiled wide and shook Beatrice’s hand. It seemed to Verna that she appreciated being treated like a grown-up.

“Figured you were Penny’s sister when they called Haywood during the Sorting,” Charlie said.

Beatrice nodded. “And now we’re both in Hufflepuff! I was hoping for it, but I would’ve been happy with Gryffindor too.”

“Bea is… sort of a fan of yours,” Penny explained looking at Verna. “She’s always asking me to tell her stories of my adventures with the famous curse-breaker Verna Malinda.”

“Now I can join you!” Beatrice said. “To find your brother and the cursed vaults.”

This, admittedly, took Verna by surprise. She glanced at Penny who, by the look on her face, had not expected this either.

“Bea…” Penny whispered.

“I mean it, I want to help,” Beatrice insisted.

“Well… Maybe you can help with some small things, but I’ll be honest with you, it’s really dangerous stuff,” Verna told the young witch and hoped that was the end of it. No such luck.

“You investigated the cursed ice when you were just first-years,” Beatrice protested.

“That’s… true…” Penny admitted but didn’t look happy about it.

“And Harry Potter defeated You-Know-Who when he was just a baby!”

“She has a point, you know,” Charlie cut in.

“Knock it off, Weasley. There’ll be plenty of time for death-defying adventures when you’re older Bea, for now you can just show Verna what you made for her,” Penny said with a glare at Charlie, who seemed vaguely apologetic.

With only a little complaining, Beatrice presented Verna with a yellow, self-made puffskein toy. It was extremely cute, and the gesture made Verna wonder how much Penny had exaggerated her stories.

“Thank you, Beatrice, this is super cool,” she said as she inspected the stuffed animal. After that, she was served to a story about shaving the Haywoods’ pet puffskein every week for the hairs to make the toy, after which Penny had clearly had her fill, because she whisked Beatrice away and Charlie arched an eyebrow. “Wow, they really do just keep getting smaller.”

~

Up in the Gryffindor Tower, the young students were excited but obviously tired, so Verna kept her introduction short and let them explore on their own or just go to bed. After that, the two new prefects made their way to their favourite corner of the common room. The couch there was already occupied by Rowan and Ben.

“Hey guys,” said Ben meekly behind his new Charms textbook.

Charlie squished into the vacant spot between Rowan and the armrest, while Verna sat on the floor, not bothering to drag the nearest chair closer.

“I think I’m going to possibly have a mental breakdown this year,” she mused. “I mean I still have to find my brother, do normal homework, play Quidditch, study for O.W.L.s, and now be a prefect.”

“If you had started studying for the O.W.L.s first year like I told you, you wouldn’t be in this situation,” Rowan simply said. It’s not like they were wrong, but Verna still rolled her eyes.

“Literally no one else but you does that, Rowan” Charlie jumped into her defence, which Verna appreciated. She fist bumped Charlie over Rowan’s lap.

“You two are impossible,” Rowan said warmly and turned to look at Ben. Verna followed their gaze and noticed Ben looked distinctly uncomfortable. Well, more than usual.

“Ben…” she started.

“I just wanna say I’m sorry,” Ben blurted out. “I know you already said it’s fine last year, but I don’t think it’s fine. I’m too easy a target to use against you, and I don’t think you should include me in your plans anymore.”

Verna stared at him for a moment, trying to find words. Any one of her friends could’ve been used as a pawn by a dark wizard. After all, they were only students up against adult wizards.

“Ben, I get it. I’d probably feel the same way if it was me in your shoes right now, because it easily could be. You’re not weak for losing against an adult.”

Ben bit his lip nervously. “But I-“

“We need you. You’re one of my best friends and nobody blames you for what happened,” Verna countered before Ben could form a proper argument.

“In the train you lot acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary when everything is!” he slumped against the couch and let the textbook fall into his lap. “I’m going to bed.”

With that, Ben got up and disappeared into the boys’ dormitory, his friends’ pleas falling on deaf ears. Verna looked at Charlie and Rowan.

“Maybe he just needs some more time…” Charlie mused.

“I think I was too harsh on him last year,” Rowan said. “I apologized though. In the train. We had a whole chat about it.”

“I’m glad,” Verna said with a smile. It hadn’t felt right, when Ben and Rowan weren’t on speaking terms.

“He just hasn’t had the easiest time at Hogwarts,” Rowan continued. “And all this business with the vaults… I think it has us all on edge.”

“Understatement of the year…” muttered Charlie.

“Well… It’s only the first day of it, we’ll have plenty of time to make more understatements,” said Rowan gloomily.

[gaysparklepires]

16. Closure

At that moment, my head broke the surface.

I was completely disoriented. I’d been sure I was sinking.

The current wouldn’t let up. It was slamming me against more rocks; they beat against the center of my back sharply, rhythmically, pushing the water from my lungs. It gushed out in amazing volume, absolute torrents pouring from my mouth and nose. The salt burned and my lungs burned and my throat was too full of water to catch a breath and the rocks were hurting my back. Somehow I stayed in one place, though the waves still heaved around me. I couldn’t see anything but water everywhere, reaching for my face.

“Breath!” a voice, wild with anxiety, ordered, and I felt a sudden rush of relief—because it wasn’t Edward’s.

I could not obey, though. The waterfall pouring from my mouth didn’t stop long enough for me to catch a breath. The black, icy water filled my chest, burning.

The rock smacked into my back again, right between my shoulder blades, and another volley of water choked its way out of my lungs.

“Breath, Beau! C’mon!” Jacob begged.

Black spots bloomed across my vision, getting wider and wider, blocking out the light.

The rock struck me again.

The rock wasn’t cold like the water; it was hot on my skin. I realized it was Jacob’s hand, trying to beat the water from my lungs. The iron bar that had dragged me from the sea was also… warm… My head whirled, the black spots covered everything….

I wasn’t dying. I had survived. Somehow, idiot Beau Swan had jumped off a cliff and survived. Ha, take that, Edward. If I wasn’t still so disoriented I would have chuckled. The sound of the crashing waves faded into the black and became a quiet, even whoosh that sounded like it was coming from the inside of my ears….

“Beau?” Jacob asked, his voice still tense but not as wild as before. “Beau, babe, can you hear me?”

The contents of my head swished and rolled sickeningly, like they’d joined the rough water….

“How long has he been unconscious?” someone else asked.

The voice that was not Jacob’s startled me, jarred me into a more focused awareness.

I realized that I was still. There was no tug of the current on me—the heaving was inside my head. The surface under me was flat and motionless. It felt grainy against my bare arms.

“I don’t know,” Jacob reported, still frantic. His voice was very close. Hands—so warm they had to be his—ran through my wet hair, and along my cheeks. “A few minutes? It didn’t take long to tow him to the beach.”

The quiet whooshing inside my ears was not the waves—it was the air moving in and out of my lungs again. Each breath burned—the passageways were as raw as if I’d scrubbed them out with steel wool. But I was breathing.

And I was freezing. A thousand sharp, icy beads were striking my face and arms, making the cold worse.

“He’s breathing. He’ll come around. We should get him out of the cold, though. I don’t like the color he’s turning…” I recognized Sam’s voice this time.

“You think it’s okay to move him?”

“He didn’t hurt his back or anything when he fell?”

“I don’t know.”

They hesitated.

I tried to open my eyes. It took me a minute, but then I could see the dark, purple clouds, flinging the freezing rain down at me. “Jake?” I croaked.

Jacob’s face blocked out the sky. “Oh!” he gasped, relief washing over his features. His eyes were wet, I hoped, from the rain and not from tears over me.

“Oh, Beau! Are you okay? Can you hear me? Do you hurt anywhere?”

“J-just m-my throat,” I stuttered, my lips quivering from the cold.

“Let’s get you out of here, then,” Jacob said. He slid his arms under me and lifted me without effort, like picking up an empty box. His chest was bare and warm; he hunched his shoulders to keep the rain of me. I curled up into him, nestling my head against his chest.

“You got him?” I heard Sam ask.

“Yeah, I’ll take it from here. Get back to the hospital. I’ll join you later. Thanks, Sam.”

My head was still rolling. None of his words sunk in at first. Sam didn’t answer. There was no sound, and I wondered if he was already gone. I strained to lift my head and look back over Jacob’s shoulder.

The water licked and writhed up the sand after us as Jacob carried me away, like it was angry that I’d escaped. As I stared wearily, a spark of color caught my unfocused eyes—a small flash of fire was dancing on the black water, far out in the bay. The image made no sense, and I wondered how conscious I really was. My head swirled with the memory of the black, churning water—of being so lost that I couldn’t find up or down. So lost… but somehow Jacob…

“How did you find me?” I rasped.

“I was searching for you,” he told me. He was half-jogging through the rain, up the beach toward the road. “I followed the tire tracks to your truck, and then saw the door open, and your phone just sitting on the seat. Then I heard you shout…” He shuddered. “Why would you jump, Beau? Didn’t you noticed that it’s turning into a hurricane out here? Couldn’t you have waited for me?” Frustration filled his tone as his relief faded.

“I’m sorry, Jake,” I muttered. “It was stupid.”

“Yeah, it was really stupid,” he agreed, drops of ran shaking free of his hair as he nodded. “Look, do you mind saving the really stupid stuff for when I’m around? I won’t be able to concentrate if I think you’re jumping off cliffs behind my back.”

“Sure,” I agreed. “No problem.” I sounded like a chain-smoker. I tried to clear my throat—and then winced; the throat-clearing felt like stabbing a knife down there. “What happened today? Did you… find Victor?” It was my turn to shudder, though I wasn’t so cold here, wrapped in his warm arms.

Jacob shook his head. He was still more running than walking as he headed up the road to his house. “No. He took off into the water—the bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That’s why I raced home—I was afraid he was going to double back swimming. You spend so much time on the beach….” He trailed off, a catch in his throat.

“Sam came back with you… is everyone else home, too?” I hoped they weren’t still out searching for Victor.

“Yeah. Sort of.”

I tried to read his expression, squinting into the hammering rain. His eyes were tight with worry or pain.

The words that hadn’t made sense before suddenly did. “You said… hospital. Before, to Sam. Is someone hurt? Did Victor fight you?” My voice jumped up an octave, sounding strange with the hoarseness.

“No, no. When we got back, Em was waiting with the news. It’s Harry Clearwater. Harry had a heart attack this morning.”

“Harry?” I shook my head trying to absorb what he was saying. “Oh, no! Does Charlie know?”

“Yeah. He’s over there, too, with my dad.”

“Is Harry going to be okay?”

Jacob’s eyes tightened again. “It doesn’t look so great right now.”

Abruptly, I felt really sick with guilt—felt truly horrible about the stupid cliff dive. Nobody needed to be worrying about me right now. What a selfish time to try to go and prove something to myself.

“What can I do?” I asked.

At that moment the rain stopped. I hadn’t realized we were already back to Jacob’s house until he walked through the door. The storm pounded against the roof.

“You can stay here,” Jacob said as he set me on the short couch. “I mean it—right here. I’ll get you some dry clothes.”

I let my eyes adjust to the dark room while Jacob banged around in his bedroom. The cramped front room seemed so empty without Billy, almost desolate. It was strangely ominous—probably because I knew where he was.

Jacob was back in seconds. He threw a pile of gray cotton at me. “These will be huge on you, but it’s the best I’ve got. I’ll, er, step outside so you can change.”

“Don’t go anywhere. Please, Jake. I’m too tired to move yet. Just stay with me.”

Jacob sat on the floor next to me, his back against the couch. I wondered when he’d slept last. He looked as exhausted as I felt.

He leaned his head on the cushion next to mine and yawned. “Guess I could rest for a minute….”

His eyes closed. I let mine slide shut, too.

Poor Harry. Poor Sue. I knew Charlie was going to be beside himself. Harry was one of his best friends. Despite Jake’s negative take on things, I hoped fervently that Harry would pull through. For Charlie’s sake. For Sue’s and Liam’s and Seth’s.

Billy’s sofa was right next to the radiator, and I was warm now, despite my soaked clothes. My lungs ached in a way that pushed me toward unconsciousness rather than keeping me awake. I wondered vaguely if it was wrong to sleep… or was I getting drowning mixed up with concussions…? Jacob began softly snoring, and the sound of it soothed like a lullaby. I fell asleep quickly.

For the first time in a very long time, my dream was just a normal dream. Just a blurred wandering through old memories—blinding bright visions of the Phoenix sun, my mother’s face, a ramshackle tree house, a faded quilt, a wall of mirrors, a flame on the black water… I forgot each of them as soon as the picture changed.

The last picture was the only one that stuck in my head. It was meaningless—just a set on a stage. A balcony at night, a painted moon hanging in the sky. I watched the girl in her nightdress lean on the railing and talk to herself.

Meaningless… but when I slowly struggled back to consciousness, Juliet was on my mind.

Jacob was still asleep; he’d slumped down on the floor and his breathing was deep and even. The house was darker now than before, it was black outside the window. I was stiff, but warm and almost dry. The inside of my throat burned with every breath I took.

I was going to have to get up—at least to get a drink. But I didn’t want to risk waking Jacob. I reached my hand down to touch his head.

As I gently ran my fingers through his hair, I thought about Juliet some more.

I wondered what she would have done if Romeo had left her, not because he was banished, but because he lost interest? What if Rosalind had given him the time of day, and he’d changed his mind? What if, instead of marrying Juliet, he’d just disappeared?

I thought I knew how Juliet would feel.

She’d struggle to go back to her old life. She would have struggled to move on, I was sure of that. I wondered if she would have been able to, eventually. Or, would she one day find herself, old and gray, still seeing Romeo’s face every time she closed her eyes? Would she have accepted that half-life?

I wondered if she would have married Paris in the end, just to please her parents, to keep the peace. Who could say, I thought. The story didn’t say much about Paris. He was just a stick figure—a placeholder, a threat, a deadline to force her hand.

What if there were more to Paris?

What if Paris had been Juliet’s friend? Her very best friend? What if he was the only one she could confide in every detail about the whole heartbreaking ordeal with Romeo? The one person who understood her better than anyone else? What if he was patient and kind? What if they made each other happy? What if he really loved her, and wanted her to be happy?

And… what if she loved Paris? What if she moved on from Romeo, and truly loved Paris?

Jacob’s slow, deep breathing was the only sound in the room—like a lullaby hummed to a child, like the whisper of a rocking chair, like the ticking of an old clock when you had nowhere you needed to go…. It was the sound of comfort.

If Romeo was gone, never coming back, would it have mattered whether or not Juliet had taken Paris up on his offer? Maybe she could carve out a new life—a better life—out of the pieces Romeo had left behind when he left so selfishly.

I sighed, and then groaned when the sigh scraped my throat. I was thinking too much about this. Romeo and Juliet was really a tragedy, not a romance, after all. Certainly not something to use to help yourself find closure.

I closed my eyes and drifted again, letting my mind wander away from the stupid play. I thought about reality instead—about jumping off the cliff and what a brainless act that had been. And not just the cliff, but the motorcycles and the whole notion of breaking my promise. What if something bad had happened to me? What would that do to Charlie? Harry’s heart attack and pushed everything suddenly into perspective for me. Perspective that hurt me to see. Why hadn’t I realized sooner how selfish it had all been and how making a point in breaking a promise was the complete opposite of finding any sort of closure.

But I had discovered something on that cliff. Something I hadn’t expected. I was stronger than I gave myself credit for. I had been faced with my memories, my hallucinations, my fear, and I met them head on—no, I defied them. Maybe I could do this. Maybe I could carve out a new life for myself with the pieces left behind. I didn’t know if the cracks would ever really heal, but I had to be brave and really try.

I looked down at Jacob. So grateful for him and for everything he had done for me. So grateful for his patience. I thought about what I had said to Jessica about Jacob keeping me above water—today in the literal sense—and wondered what I had done to deserve him in my life.

I wasn’t sure if I was ready to make any concrete decisions at that moment. But it was undeniable that a decision would have to be made sooner rather than later if things kept moving forward on the path they were on. I decided to focus on something else, give my tired mind a break from all the heavy emotions.

Images from my ill-considered afternoon stunt rolled through my head while I tried to come up with something pleasant and easy to think about… the feel of the air as I fell, the blackness of the water, the thrashing of the current… Edward’s face… I lingered there for just a moment. Jacob’s warm hands trying to beat life back into me… the stinging rain flung down by the purple clouds… the strange fire on the waves…

There was something familiar about that flash of color on top of the water. Of course it couldn’t really be fire—

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car squelching through the mud on the road outside. I heard it stop in front of the house, and doors started opening and closing. I thought about sitting up, and then decided against that idea.

Billy’s voice was easily identifiable, but he kept it uncharacteristically low, so that it was only a gravely grumble.

The door opened, and the light flicked on. I blinked momentarily blind. Jake startled awake, gasping and jumping to his feet.

“Sorry,” Billy grunted. “Did we wake you?”

My eyes slowly slowly focused on his face, and then, as I could read his expression, they filled with tears.

“Oh, no, Billy!” I moaned.

He nodded slowly, his expression hard with grief. Jake hurried to his father and took one of his hands. The pain made his face suddenly childlike—it looked odd on top of the man’s body.

Sam was right behind Billy, pushing his chair through the door. His normal composure was absent from his agonized face.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

Billy nodded. “It’s gonna be hard all around.”

“Where’s Charlie?”

“Your dad is still at the hospital with Sue. There are a lot of… arrangements to be made.”

I swallowed hard.

“I’d better get back there,” Sam mumbled, and he ducked hastily out the door.

Billy pulled his hand away from Jacob, and then he rolled himself through the kitchen toward his room.

Jake stared after him for a minute, then came to sit on the floor beside me again. He put his face in his hands. I rubbed his shoulder, wishing I could think of something to say.

After a long moment, Jacob caught my hand and held it to his face.

“How are you feeling? Are you okay? I probably should have taken you to a doctor or something.” He sighed.

“Don’t worry about me,” I croaked, rubbing his cheek.

He twisted his head to look at me. His eyes were rimmed in red. “You don’t look so good.”

“I don’t feel so good, either, I guess.”

“I’ll go get your truck and then take you home.”

“Thanks, Jake,” I sighed, “I should be there when Charlie gets home.”

“Right.”

I lay listlessly on the sofa while I waited for him. Billy was silent in the other room. I felt like a peeping tom, peering through the cracks at a private sorrow.

It didn’t take Jake long. The roar of my truck’s engine broke the silence before I expected it. He helped me up from the couch without speaking, keeping his arm around my shoulder when the cold air outside made me shiver. He took the driver’s seat without asking, and then pulled me next to his side to keep his arm tight around me. I leaned my head against his chest.

“How will you get home?” I asked.

“I’m not going home. We still haven’t caught the bloodsucker, remember?”

My next shudder had nothing to do with cold.

It was a quiet ride after that. The cold air had woken me up. My mind was alert, and it was working very hard and very fast.

What if? What if could make a decision? Take the step down this path and carve out my new life.

I couldn’t imagine my life without Jacob now—I cringed away from that idea of even trying to imagine that. Somehow, he’d become an integral part of my life. But to leave things the way they were… was that cruel, as Mike had accused?

I think it was. It was wrong to string Jacob along if I was never going to make a decision. Could I make one? What was holding me back? I realized how right it felt when he held me like this. It felt so nice—warm and comforting and familiar. Safe. Jacob was a safe harbor.

I could make a decision. I could make him mine.

He already knew what I had been through. He knew there were parts of me that were still broken. But I would need to tell him everything—I’d explain why it hurt me so deeply, tell him how deep the cracks in my heart ran, I’d admit to the delusions of hearing Edward. He’d need to know everything before he made a decision.

But, even as I recognized that necessity, I kew he would take me in spite of it all. He wouldn’t even pause to think it through. Jacob had made his decision.

I would have to commit to this—commit my whole heart to Jacob, breaks and all. Would I? Could I? Would it be so wrong to try to make Jacob happy? Make myself happy? I couldn’t spend my entire life grieving after some fickle Romeo.

Jacob stopped the truck in front of my dark house, cutting the engine so it was suddenly silent. Like so many other times, he seemed to be in tune with my thoughts now.

He threw his other arm around me, crushing me against his chest, binding me to him. Again, this felt nice. My heart felt like it could safely heal here.

I thought he would be thinking of Harry, but then he spoke, and his tone was apologetic. “Sorry. I know you don’t feel exactly the way I do, Beau. I swear I don’t mind. I’m just so glad you’re okay that I could sing—and that’s something no one wants to hear.” He laughed his throaty laugh in my ear.

My breathing kicked up a notch, sanding the walls of my throat.

Wouldn’t Edward, indifferent as he might be, want me to be as happy as was possible? Wouldn’t enough friendly emotion linger for him to want that much for me? I thought he would. He wouldn’t begrudge me this: moving on, finding my closure, and giving the love he didn’t want to Jacob.

Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair.

If I turned my face to the side—if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder… I knew without any doubt exactly what would follow. It would be as easy as breathing.

But could I do it? Could I let go of my baggage and close that chapter of my life?

Butterflies filled my stomach as I thought about turning my head.

And then, as clearly as it was up on the cliff, Edward’s voice whispered in my ear.

“Be happy,” he told me.

I froze.

Jacob felt me stiffen and released me automatically, reaching for the door.

Wait, I wanted to say to him. Just a minute. But I was still locked in place from the shock from hearing Edward’s voice.

Storm-cooled air blew through the cab of the truck.

“OH!” The breath whooshed out of Jacob like someone had punched him in the gut. “Holy crap!”

He slammed the door and twisted the keys in the ignition in the same moment. His hands were shaking so hard I didn’t know how he managed it.

“What’s wrong, Jake?”

He revved the engine too fast; it spluttered and faltered.

“Vampire,” he spit out.

The blood rushed from my head and left me dizzy. “How do you know?”

“Because I can smell it! Dammit!”

Jacob’s eyes were wild, raking the dark street. He barely seemed aware of the tremors that were rolling through his body. “Phase or get him out of here?” he hissed at himself.

He looked down at me for a split second, taking in my horror-struck eyes and white face, and then he was scanning the street again. “Right. Get you out.”

The engine caught with a roar. The tires squealed as he spun the truck around, turning toward our only escape. The headlights washed across the pavement, lit the front line of the black forest, and finally glinted off a car parked across the street from my house.

“Wait!” I gasped.

It was a black car—a car I knew. I might not know much about cars, but I could tell you everything about that particular car. It was a Mercedes S55 AMG. I knew the horsepower and the color of the interior. I knew the feel of the powerful engine purring through the frame. I knew the rick smell of the leather seats and the way the extra-dark tint made noon look like dusk through those windows.

It was Carlisle Cullen’s car.

“Wait, stop!” I cried, louder this time, because Jacob was gunning the truck down the street.

“What?!”

“It’s not Victor, Jake. Just—Just stop the car. Go back!”

He stomped on the brake so hard I had to catch myself against the dashboard.

“What?” he asked again, aghast. He stared at me with horror in his eyes.

“That’s Carlisle’s car. Carlisle Cullen’s car, I’m sure of it.”

He saw the dawning realization in my face, and a violent tremor rocked his frame.

“Jake, please breath. Calm down, it’s okay. No danger, see? Relax.”

“Yeah, calm,” he panted, putting his head down and closing his eyes. While he concentrated on not exploding into a wolf, I gently rubbed his arm trying to calm him. I furtively glanced back at the black car.

Why would they come back? It was just Carlisle, I told myself. Don’t hope for anything more. Maybe Esme… stop right there, I told myself. Why was I hoping for any of them to come back? The glimmer of excitement I felt in the pit of my stomach wasn’t healthy. I shouldn’t be excited. I was past this. At least, I thought I was.

“There’s a vampire in your house,” Jacob hissed. “And you want to go back?”

I looked deep into his dark eyes, I understood his concern. I couldn’t fault him for it.

“I… Yes, Jake.” I said, my voice was shaky. I did want to go back. But why?

Jacob’s face hardened while I stared at him, congealing into the bitter mask that I’d thought was gone for good. Just before he had the mask in place, I caught the spasm of betrayal that flashed in his eyes. My heart sank seeing that mask come back. His hands were still shaking. He looked ten years older than me.

He took a deep breath. “You sure it’s not a trick?” he asked in a slow, heavy voice.

“It’s not a trick. It’s Carlisle.” I realized why I wanted to go back—a chance at true closure. “Take me back, Jake.”

A shudder rippled through his wide shoulders, but his eyes were flat and emotionless. “No.”

“Jake, listen—“

“No. Take yourself back, Beau.” His voice was a slap—I flinched as the sound of it struck me. His jaw clenched and unclenched.

“Look, Beau,” he said in the same hard voice. “I can’t go back. Treaty or no treaty, that’s my enemy in there.”

“It’s not like that—“

“I have to tell Sam right away. This changes things. We can’t be caught on their territory.”

“Jake, it’s not war!”

He didn’t listen. He put the truck in neutral and jumped out the door, leaving it running.

“Bye, Beau,” he called back over his shoulder. “I really hope you don’t die.” He sprinted into the darkness, shaking so hard that his shape seemed blurred; he disappeared before I could open my mouth to call him back. I desperately wanted to explain to him why I needed to go back, what I was really after.

Remorse pinned me against the seat for one long second. What had I just done to Jacob?

I reluctantly slid across the seat and put the truck back in drive. My hands were shaking almost as hard as Jake’s had been, and this took a minute of concentration. Then I carefully turned the truck and drove it back to my house.

It was very dark when I turned off the headlights. Charlie had left in such a hurry that he’d forgotten to leave the porch lamp on. I felt a pang of doubt, staring at the house, deep in shadow. What if it was a trick? Worse yet, what if it didn’t help me? What if it just made things worse?

I looked back at the black car, almost invisible in the night. No. I knew that car.

Still, my hands were shaking even worse than before as I reached for the key above the door. When I grabbed the doorknob to unlock it, it twisted easily under my hand. I let the door fall open. The hallway was black.

I wanted to call out a greeting, but my throat was too dry. I couldn’t quite seem to catch my breath.

I took a step inside and fumbled for the light switch. It was so black—like the black water… Where was that switch?

Just like the black water, with the orange flame flickering impossibly on top of it. Flame that couldn’t be a fire, but what then…? My fingers traced the wall, still searching, still shaking—

Suddenly, something Jacob had told me this afternoon echoed in my head, finally sinking in….He took off into the water, he’d said. The bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That’s why I raced home—I was afraid He was going to double back swimming.

My hand froze in its searching, my whole body froze into place, as I realized why I recognized the strange orange color on the water.

Victor’s hair, blowing wild in the wind, the color of fire…

He’d been right there. Right there in the harbor with me and Jacob. If Sam hadn’t been there, if it had been just the two of us…? I couldn’t breathe or move.

The light flicked on, though my frozen hand had still not found the switch.

I blinked into the sudden light, and saw that someone was there, waiting for me.

[twistednuns]

March 2019

ॐ नमः शिवाय oṃ namaḥ śivāya ♥ / reading a book about the background and effects of different asanas

Friday evening with Lena: Yuzu ramen at Takumi, watching Green Book at the City Kino near Sendlinger Tor. Getting my favourite mix of sweet and salty popcorn.

Still: Obsessively reading the Rivers of London series by Ben Aaronovitch. It's like one of those nasty TV series you just can't stop watching.

Noticing more visible veins and sinews on my body. Getting stronger and leaner! Yes! I can even see a little shadow where my ribcage is supposed to begin and my tissue is getting softer which means I'm losing fat and I can feel more muscles than before. Very rewarding.

Saturday lunch with Lena and her family. I hadn't seen her brother in maybe 10 years. My highlight: warm banana bread with slightly salty, thick caramel and homemade vanilla ice-cream.

Dressing up for the Of Sailors and Whales concert at Gasteig. I felt incredibly stylish in my outfit: mustard yellow headscarf, a side braid, oblong hoop earrings in rose gold, a green dress and coat, mint-blue purse, a dark plum-coloured lipstick, black tights and satin heels.

The PhysioFlow yoga teacher (Ulf, what a comical name) complimenting me on my perfect Viravadrasana pose because apparently I did the advanced version with my arms held up high over my head. Unfortunately my poses only look so good because of my hypermobility but the other day we started talking after class. He is such a nice and calm person. And married to a lady from my hometown. I love how he touches our faces, heads and shoulders in Savasana.

Thai massage. The best treat after messing up my neck with futile headstand experiments.

The perfect batch of smoky veggies in tomato sauce. Add a hand full of couscous and tiger beans and you'll feel full for hours.

A week-long holiday. Not leaving the bed after waking up, reading for one or two hours. Enjoying the morning light, having warm breakfast. Lena sending me a picture of a bunch of purple flowers she saw on one of her walks on Monday, telling me to enjoy my vacation.

Gorgeous yoga mats - I just ordered one with a gemstone design from Mala. // EDIT: It just didn't have enough grip for me so I had to send it back. Got a simple purple one from Jade Yoga instead. They're supposed to be the best.

Fried Tom Yum seaweed strips.

A dinner and movie date with Lena, Barbara and Maike. We watched Vice (2019), the movie about Dick Cheney. Quite uncomfortable. But I loved the scene with Alfred Molina.

Spending an afternoon with Franzi at Trachtenvogl. Pear juice spritzer. Decidedly non-vegan spinach dumplings. Stopping at &otherstories as usual, getting two beautiful bowls at Motel a Miio. Finding a purple edition of H.P.Lovecraft's ghost stories on top of a trash bin.

My mum visiting for the first time since I moved in. She helped me get rid of my old clothes and other miscellaneous items from the basement. Then we got a trunk full of flowers for my balcony and had dinner at VorOrt - vegan pizza and celeriac schnitzel. I got so many presents that day. A dark purple orchid with pointy blossoms, some books and a bottle of Jo Malone perfume. She also paid for some of my plants... It kinda felt like my birthday. Maybe she had a guilty conscience because my brother still keeps raiding the fridge at home? Anyway. It's funny that I can actually talk to her now that I'm older, have my own thing going on... and we have so much in common, I notice that all the time. Or interests and taste, habits. Could be worse though, she's an amazing woman.

Swiss cat ladders.

My first time at Boulderwelt! Frank finally took me with him and we spent two hours there, climbing up the yellow (me) and white (him) routes. I even dreamed about climbing up a tree that night and I could hardly move the next day. Hardcore sore muscles, oh boy.

Hanging out with Frank. Playing Scrabble. Acting really weird around someone who just gets it or isn't put off at the very least. Making gross jokes about guacamole-producing guys over burritos in Werksviertel.

Hanging out at bridal shops with Lena, making her put on gorgeous dresses.

The fresh spring green gradient you get on your cutting board when you're chopping up leek for a potato gratin.

Staring at a long-haired guy in a club for a pretty long while on a Friday evening because he was just that gorgeous. Then he suddenly showed up on the internet a few hours later an we have been talking ever since. Exciting! And yeah, I love good coindidences. I would have never mustered up the courage to talk to him that night.

The other day we saw a cat from our classroom window, casually walking down the stairs. And we had nothing better to do than running up there in middle of our English lesson to catch her. I guess I'm a quite easily distracted teacher.

Hand embroidery on linen. It's baby bonnets, okay. But still super pretty.

This idea I had while in downward facing dog pose during one of my yoga classes. I really want to go to a yoga retreat in the summer. Either in Bali or, even more exciting, an ashram in India. I'd also visit Nepal or Bhutan while I'm there.

Aidy Bryant. She's my gorgeous heroine. I loved watching the first season of Shrill.

Alpro cherry soy yoghurt.

New earrings from &otherstories and COS. And a new hair ribbon, too. Can't help it. Building my collections.

That whole Margo-banging-Josh-situation on The Magicians? I'm into that. And when she was tripping on lizard and saw Eliot in a python trenchcoat performing the Pretenders' "Don't Get Me Wrong"? The 80s choir they formed in the desert? So amusing. Seriously, this is one of the few shows which is absolutely not afraid of weird shit and doesn't take its writing too seriously. I don't entirely get it and it doesn't have anything to do with Lev Grossman's books anymore but I'm so grateful it exists. And I'm always down for a good musical episode (see: Once More with Feeling a.k.a. the single best Buffy episode ever made).

Finding the most incredible reed green silk dress at Hallhuber one afternoon after seeing a dermatologist in the city. Unfortunately even my ribcage is too wide for its narrow cut but perhaps I can convince Lena to buy it for the summer.

New idea: should I ever get a cat I want to name it Miso.

Seeing the first butterfly (European peacock) of the year enjoying the sunshine while sitting on my pink hyacinth.

After more than 20 years I accidentally found out that one of my favourite songs from the ZDF Christmas series Anna is in fact a Queen song! I'm also pretty sure that my taste in men, my "type", was significantly affected by João Ramos who played the role of the dancer Jacob. Swoon!

Using a sheep skin as a pillow. Oddly comforting. I was reading a book about the sense of touch when I noticed this connection. I also learned that most people prefer firm hugs and massages over soft strokes. Apparently gentle touching reminds some of insect's feet but it seems to be a matter of personal preference.

The crispy greasiness of butter croissants.

Finding out about banana twins (two fruits in one peel).

Enjoying a nice, sunny Sunday. Cycling over to Westpark and playing badminton with Frank in the middle of hundreds of families having picnics. Clumsy yoga poses on a towel. A little boy telling me that his penis was more important than my face when he hit me with a football. But to be fair, I made him choose. I even went to the gym afterwards, doing my strength routine and an hour-long spine workout. I was pretty exhausted that evening and made a delicious dinner with ratatouille, soy "meat", olives and capers, whole-wheat pasta and pine nuts.

Breaking news: my body contains over 66kg of muscle mass! Am I a superhero or what? (Well, also 36% body fat, gotta work on that...)

Giving the avocado seeds a new home. I've given them a large pot now so each time I eat an avocado a new member can join the gang.

Spending most of the week with my favourite colleague, espectially on Girls'/Boys' day duty: I liked meeting at the fire brigade in the morning, getting to know a firewoman, making one of my students climb up the pole at the station. Walking over Viktualienmarkt and Gärtnerplatz, getting some fresh juice, talking all the time. We visited an old folk's home, a garden center, a vet and an architect's studio. So much better than being stuck at school until 4pm.

Pancakes with mushroom filling. Strawberries with coconut cream. Delicious.

Finally performing a Nina Hagen Song on karaoke night. And Elle King's Ex's & Oh's which made Carlos, the Spanish guy, think of old ex-girlfriend trauma.

Uhm. I read 21 books this month. Wow? To be fair, I spent most of my weekends in bed with a stack of books next to me. I'm kinda hoping to read less in April - but since I'll be in Canada for two weeks this will probably not be an issue anyway.

My breakfasts keep me healthy, I really believe that. Extremely tasty and full of good nutrients. Latest addition: strawberries and pumpkin seeds.

Spending the whole afternoon with Anika in my kitchen, making vegan macarons. I almost couldn't believe it but chickpea liquid works just as well as eggwhites! And we came up with pretty good fillings: lemon buttercream, chocolate-raspberry and banana-peanut butter. Nom. Now they're sitting in my fridge, tempting me to eat them. Sigh.

Going to the gym after a week-long hiatus. Breaking the spell, you know?

[fantasyhorrorandotherthings]

Teaser for ‘File 75′

2 

Zara

New York, 2020

3–2–1

The camera started recording.

‘Hey, guys, welcome back to my channel.’ Zara Mathews stood in front of her kitchen bench wearing a pink sleeveless crop top and black stretch pants. The arctic white walls of her apartment and the lack of clutter would serve as ascetically pleasing to the potential thousands of people, perhaps a million if she were lucky, who would see her video. ‘Today, I’m going be making a pitaya smoothie bowl. If you don’t know what pitaya is, it’s basically dragon fruit that can be ground up into a fine pink powder. You’ve probably seen it all over Instagram,’ she laughed. ‘I feel like it’s a good alternative to an acai bowl. So, for this smoothie, I’m just going to be using the usual stuff—coconut milk, frozen banana and, of course, my favourite fruit and nut mix as a topping. So, let’s get started.’

She undid the blender.

‘Hey, babe.’

His dirty breath hit her neck. The smell of unwashed skin tormented her nostrils.

‘Up already, huh,’ she said as she gazed at the blender’s blades.

‘What are you up to?’ he asked gruffly as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

‘I’m trying to make a video,’ she sighed.

He kissed her neck. His lips against her skin were like a slimy tongue.

‘Another smoothie video?’ he said mockingly. ‘What was that grey one you made yesterday? Butterfly piss?’

She rolled her eyes.

‘Butterfly pea,’ she said as she poured frozen banana chunks into the blender. ‘P–e–a.’

She pushed away from him, causing him to smirk.

‘Babe, why do you got to be doing this now? he asked. ‘It’s so early.’

‘It’s nine,’ She frowned at him.

‘Exactly, it’s Saturday. What do you have to wake up so fricken early for?’

‘It’s better for your body to wake up at the same time every day.’

‘I think that’s just some bullshit you read on Pinterest,’ he said as he went over to the fridge and grabbed a slice of pizza from the previous night when the game was on.

She glared at him as his yellow teeth ripped into the crust and observed his unwashed brown hair, the dark purple bags under his eyes, the thick stubble on his neck and on his double chin, his flaky lips, the bits of breadcrumbs and sauce stains around his mouth, and the careless way he left his robe undone. She had curly black hair, creamy brown eyes and soft, dark skin that she always moisturised and exfoliated. She didn’t think that Brock even knew what exfoliating was. She went to the gym three or four times a week and Pilates once a week. Zara took pride in her appearance, so she wondered how she ended up with this.

‘Listen, are you coming tonight?’ she asked irritably.  

‘What’s tonight?’

‘Jay’s birthday.’

‘Who?’

‘My brother?’

‘Oh yeah, that guy.’

She swore under her breath.

Around six in the evening, she found her family standing outside a burger grill. She smiled as soon as she saw them. Zara seldom ate burgers and deep-fried food, but as her mother had explained, this place sold healthy burgers, not to mention sweet potato fries.

Her mother, Deborah Mathews, a secretary at a middle school, wore a black jacket over a purple top with a gold chain necklace. She had straight black hair that she liked to keep short, a round face and the same brown eyes as Zara. She had a short, plump structure, while her husband, Jacob Mathews, a high school biology teacher, had a tall, thin build. He had dark eyes, shaved black hair, and wore a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. The two of them had been married for almost twenty-six years and had raised their children in a flat in the Bronx, where they still lived.

Their son, Jay Mathews, a freelance fitness apparel designer, was wearing a pink T-shirt with blue denim jeans. He also stood tall with his head shaved but wore some light stubble and had the same eyes as his mother and sister. Next to him, standing slightly shorter, was his girlfriend, Courtney Blake, a personal trainer, who had shoulder-length brown hair and wore a blue top tucked into black denim jeans. The two of them had been dating for around two years, and although she didn’t see them much, Zara thought they were cute together and were what Zara’s co-workers would have described as ‘hashtag couple goals’.

‘Hey.’

They all turned around and their faces lit up as they simultaneously greeted her.

‘Happy birthday,’ she said as she went to hug her brother.

‘Aw, thanks,’ he said. ‘I haven’t seen you in ages.’

She noticed that her mother looked confused.

‘Where’s Brock?’

‘He couldn’t make it,’ she said. He was at home playing video games, but instead she told them, ‘He has work.’

Her mother frowned.

‘Should we go inside now?’ she asked.

‘Yeah, sure,’ Jay nodded.

They all walked into the restaurant, which looked more like an art studio with its wooden yet colourful interior. They found a large booth at the back with red padded seats and a pop art painting on the wall.

‘So, how are things in New Jersey?’ Zara asked once they had all taken a seat.

‘Ah, good,’ Jay nodded. ‘Well, actually, we have to something tell you.’  

‘Oh, yes,’ she said, feeling a little nervous.

‘We’re engaged!’ they both said at the same time.

‘What! You’re getting married?’

They both nodded.

‘Oh, God, congratulations,’ she said, a little taken aback by the news. She remembered when they were children, they would ride their bikes around with their neighbour Randy Barton, along with his older sister, Billie. When they were a little older, the four of them would head down to the basketball court where Randy would practice shooting hoops while the other three would sit on the side lines and play Beyoncé on loudspeakers, infuriating the old people in the neighbourhood. And now her little brother was getting married? She wanted to be happy for them, but all she could think about was Brock sitting on his ass on the couch as he ripped apart a zombie on the PlayStation.

‘And that’s not all,’ he said. ‘We’re also having a baby.’

‘No way!’

It only seemed like yesterday when Jay was a baby.

‘That’s just … wonderful. I’m so happy for you. Now I have so many questions. When’s the wedding? When’s the due date?’

‘Well, we haven’t really set a date for the wedding,’ said Courtney. ‘But the baby’s due in January.’

‘Wow, that’s just …’ She turned to face her parents. ‘Did you know this?’

‘Yeah, we already knew.’ Her mother laughed.

‘Imagine if the kid comes early at Christmas,’ her father joked.

‘Yeah, things have been pretty hectic for us lately,’ said Courtney. ‘But what about you, Zara? How is your YouTube channel going?’

‘It’s going well,’ she said. ‘I’m up to nine thousand subscribers.’

‘Oh, wow. Getting there. You’ll be considered an influencer soon.’

‘Yeah, but I’m running out of ideas, though,’ she said. ‘Recently, they all seem to be about smoothies.’

‘Maybe you could do one of those decluttering videos,’ Courtney suggested.

‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘I’m not sure if there’s much to declutter, apart from Brock’s video game console.’

And Brock himself.

For dinner, everyone got sliders and sweet potato fries. As Zara was vegan, she ordered herself some avocado sliders. After everyone had finished, she got out her phone and took a selfie with Tray.

‘One for the gram,’ she laughed.

She hugged him tightly as the timer went down.

3–2–1

She then took another one with all five of them.

‘We should do this again soon,’ said Zara.

‘Definitely,’ said Jay.

‘And listen, next time Brock’s coming,’ Courtney smiled.

She scoffed. ‘I’ll try my best.’

As Jay and Courtney parted ways, Debbie pulled Zara to the side. She noticed the apprehensive look on her mother’s face.

‘Zara,’ she said softly. ‘Is everything okay with you and Brock?’

That had caught her off guard.

‘It’s … fine.’

‘Zara,’ her mother sighed.

‘He’s just … You don’t like him, do you?’

‘No, I don’t,’ Debbie said bluntly. ‘I never have. You said that he’s at work, but I didn’t even know he had a job.’

‘Well, he … he doesn’t,’ she sighed. ‘It was just easier to say that, instead of telling everyone that he’s on the PlayStation.’

Debbie shook her head in disgust.

‘Zara, he’s thirty years old and he’s playing video games,’ she said. ‘You’re such polar opposites.’

‘Well, what’s that old saying, opposites ...’

Her mother continued to frown.

‘Okay, look, maybe things are not going great, but—’

‘Zara, you’re putting all of this hard work in, and he’s just mooching off you,’ she said. ‘Now, I’m not saying that you need my approval, but I don’t think he makes you happy.’

She couldn’t argue with that.

When she arrived back at her apartment block, she looked up at the ninth floor of ten. She knew which window to look at. It was Apartment Number 5. She remembered falling in love with the place the first time she stepped foot in it. The white walls and wooden floors were the stuff of her Pinterest vision boards. Then she found herself thinking about what was in that apartment. A boring boyfriend who never wanted to do anything.

The very first thing I see, every morning, is his stupid face with bits of food on the corners of his mouth and his drool sliding on to the pillows that I bought.

Zara unlocked the door and switched the lights on as she walked in.

‘Brock?’

She thought that he would have been playing video games in the living room but he wasn’t. She went into her bedroom, thinking he was in there, and he was, but her heart skipped a beat when she realised that he wasn’t alone.

‘Who are you!’

She had a pig-like face, bloodshot blue eyes and wisps of dyed hair which had obviously been an unsuccessful DIY job. She wasn’t wearing any pants, not even any underwear. She only wore a dirty tank top that smelled of greasy food.

She looked at Brock, who was sitting in bed in one of his usual stained singlets.

‘What the hell is going on here?’

Surely, it can’t be what I think. It must be a misunderstanding. He would never cheat on me ... he’s too fucking lazy to cheat.

‘Oh, Zara ... I wasn’t expecting you home so soon,’ he said.

Zara thought he seemed suspiciously unsurprised.  

‘Brock, who is this?’

‘This is Tessa,’ he said as he climbed out to reveal himself. Zara winced at the sight of it.

‘I’m his girlfriend,’ Tessa said as she chewed on some gum.

‘Wait, what?’ Zara shook her head in disbelief.

‘I’m sorry, Zara, but it’s over.’

‘What do you mean it’s over? Is this some sick joke?’

‘Look, Zara, we did have something going on, alright, but then you started acting all weird,’ he said. ‘You started waking up at five-thirty in the morning, not eating meat and doing yoga or whatever, and then you started talking about it on the Internet.’

‘I was trying to improve myself,’ she said defensively. ‘I wanted both of us to improve.’

‘He didn’t need no improvement.’ Tessa placed her hands on her hips and leaned her torso and neck forward like a chicken as she spoke. ‘He don’t need no insta-hoe to rule his life!’

‘Insta-hoe? What? Get the fuck out of my apartment, both of you!’  

‘Um, honey, it’s his apartment,’ said Tessa. ‘You pack up your things and move in back with ya mama.’

‘Listen, you piece of trash, this is my apartment,’ she snapped. ‘My family helped me buy it. I decorated it. I maintained it. I cleaned up after him every night. He had hardly any interest in choosing the right place for us to live. I had to do all the decision-making, while he just strolled along behind me, hoping to get out of his mum’s place. Well, you can both go back to his mama. I’m sure you’ll all be really fucking happy together in that tiny apartment.’

‘We better go, Tessa,’ said Brock as he picked up his underwear from the floor. ‘Before Zara fucking kills us.’

She turned her back to them while they got dressed. Her mouth went dry and her eyes filled up with tears.

How could I have been so stupid? It was so obvious to everyone else that things were not working out. Why didn’t I just admit that to myself and end it on my terms?

‘I’ll come back for my stuff later,’ he said awkwardly.

‘No, I’ll send it to you,’ she said bitterly. ‘I never want to see you in this apartment again.’

He pulled up his zipper.

‘Let’s go,’ he sighed.

‘That’s right, bitch,’ Tessa said proudly as she and Brock exited the apartment. ‘He’s my man now.’

Zara almost grabbed her by the neck, but she managed to restrain herself and simply said, ‘You can have him, you ugly little troll.’

[newyorktheater]

My annual New Year’s Eve last-minute guide to events that are still available to do on New Year’s Eve 2019 (when 2018 turns into 2019) in New York City

New Year’s Eve in New York means the dropping of the ball in Times Square, the fireworks in Prospect Park and Coney Island, the annual concert at St. John the Divine, the midnight run with fireworks in Central Park  — all FREE, and all things you can decide to do at the last minute. It also can mean obscenely expensive shows and extremely loud parties, an annual arena concert featuring Phish and a new cabaret act from Aaron Tveit, a cruise in the harbor, or a dinner for two in your favorite eatery — not all of which are sold out weeks in advance. You can pretend to converse with 200 celebrities carved out of wax, or stay at home and watch the festivities online — on this very post.

Below:

Broadway show schedule for the week,+ other theater

parties  concerts intimate dinners cruises quiet or healthy alternatives

TV listings. 

Only eight percent of Americans reportedly plan to go out on any given New Year’s Eve, and I suspect the percentage is even lower when it occurs on a Monday, as it does this year. For those New Yorkers (and New York visitors) who haven’t made those plans yet, here are some ideas:

Bebe Rexha, headliner

Post Malone, live and on some devices

TIMES SQUARE

The New Year’s Eve tradition in Times Square began in 1904 with a rooftop celebration to greet the New Year. Three years later, they started lowering a ball.

From the organizers comes this overview of New Year’s Eve in Times Square, so you know what is in store for you if you decide to stand at the Crossroads of the World on December 31st. Revelers start arriving late in the afternoon. By approximately 3:00 PM., the Bowtie of Times Square (42nd to 47th Sts. between Broadway & 7th Ave.) is fully closed to traffic. The crowd, which in the past has reached in the millions, could go as far uptown as Central Park, 17 blocks away.

Another way of saying this: If you want to be within naked-eyesight of the Times Square ball, arrive in the afternoon, and be prepared to stand immobile until the ball drops at midnight.  Huddle with friends and loved ones for warmth – or make new friends.

Bebe Rexha and alt-pop band lovelytheband will be among the performers during the countdown.

Times Square offers an outdoor evening of entertainment, culminating in confetti, “2019” sign in lights, lots of hugging and wishing for a Happy New Year

    I’ve spent three New Year’s Eves in Times Square, which is probably two more than necessary, but found each memorable. Do remember that the highlights will be televised. See What’s on TV, below.)

You can also watch the festivities online

DINING OUT ON NEW YEAR’S EVE

Open Table lists some 700 restaurants  with “New Year’s Eve offers” Most of them offer a choice of seatings – either earlier in the evening, so that you can make it in time elsewhere for the stroke of midnight, or party-hat-equipped seatings that lead up to midnight, where you can often turn on a TV so that you can watch the ball drop in Times Square. Open Table provides all sorts of filters — you can look for a table for 2 at a “charming” French restaurant at 7 pm in your specific neighborhood.

Have a favorite neighborhood eatery that’s not listed on Open Table? Go to the place NOW, and ask them whether they will take reservations.

THEATER ON NEW YEAR’S WEEK

No Broadway shows will be offering performances on New Year’s Eve, which falls on a Monday this year, normally the dark day for most shows.  But 25 of the shows will offer performances on New Year’s Day, all of them in the evening. 

Show Run Time Theatre Mon 12/31 Tue 01/01 Wed 01/02 Thu 01/03 Fri 01/04 Sat 01/05 Sun 01/06 Aladdin 2h 30min New Amsterdam 7:00 1:00 & 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 1:00 & 6:30 American Son 1h 20min Booth 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Anastasia 2h 25min Broadhurst 7:00 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Band’s Visit 90min Barrymore 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Beautiful – The Carole King Musical 2h 15min Stephen Sondheim 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 The Book of Mormon 2h 30min Eugene O’Neill 7:00 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 The Cher Show 2h 20min Neil Simon 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Chicago 2h 30min Ambassador 8:00 2:30 & 8:00 8:00 8:00 2:30 & 8:00 7:00 Choir Boy Samuel J. Friedman 7:00 7:00 8:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 Come From Away 100min Schoenfeld 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Dear Evan Hansen 2h 25min Music Box 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Ferryman 3h 15min Jacobs 7:00 1:00 & 7:30 7:00 7:00 1:00 & 7:30 3:00 Frozen 2h 15min St. James 1:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 1:00 & 6:30 Hamilton 2h 40min Richard Rodgers 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Parts One and Two 2h 35min Lyric 2:00 Prt1 7:30 Prt2 7:30 Part 1 7:30 Part 2 2:00Prt1 7:30Prt2 2:00 Prt1 7:30 Prt2 Head Over Heels 2h 15min Hudson 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 King Kong 2h 30min Broadway 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Kinky Boots 2h 20min Hirschfeld 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Lifespan of a Fact 1h 35min Studio 54 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00 The Lion King 2h 30min Minskoff 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 1:00 & 6:30 Mean Girls 2h 30min August Wilson 7:00 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:30 My Fair Lady 2h 55min Vivian Beaumont 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Network 2h 0min Belasco 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 3:00 The New One 1h 20min Cort 3:00 & 7:30 7:30 8:00 3:00 & 8:00 3:00 & 7:30 Once on This Island 90min Circle in the Square 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 & 7:30 The Phantom of the Opera 2h 30min Majestic 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 The Play That Goes Wrong 2h 0min Lyceum 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Pretty Woman: The Musical 2h 30min Nederlander 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Prom 2h 15min Longacre 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 School of Rock The Musical 2h 30min Winter Garden 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Summer: The Donna Summer Musical 1h 40min Lunt-Fontanne 7:00 2:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 To Kill a Mockingbird 2h 50min Shubert 1:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 1:00 & 6:30 Torch Song 2h 30min Hayes 7:00 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 7:30 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 True West American Airlines 8:00 8:00 8:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Waitress 2h 30min Brooks Atkinson 7:00 2:00 & 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 The Waverly Gallery 2h 15min Golden 2:00 & 8:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 3:00 Wicked 2h 45min Gershwin 7:00 7:00 7:00 8:00 2:00 & 8:00 2:00 & 7:00

(If tickets are not available through the box office, try buying tickets here)

Of course, New York theater is far more than just Broadway, and some Off-Broadway and Off-Off Broadway shows are not just happening, but getting into the whole excess thing that means New Year’s Eve to so many in New York. Prime example is Sleep No More, which for New Year’s Eve adds a “New Year’s Eve Feast” and something called the McKittrick King Masquerade,  with live performances and an open bar (“All guests should come in their finest attire in shades of gold, silver, and black, suitable for a King’s Masquerade.”) The cost is astronomical.

Similarly XIV Company offers its  “Nutcracker Rouge,”  (a “baroque, burlesque” not-for-children take on Nutcracker Suite) at a new theater in Bushwick, Brooklyn, followed by a party with the cast.

FAMILY SHOWS NOT ON BROADWAY

Radio City Rockettes Christmas Spectacular (two performances on New Year’s Eve, at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m..)

Big Apple Circus> (noon and 9:30 p.m.)

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NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTIES

AT NIGHTCLUBS & WEIRD PLACES (including home)

There’s a New York for almost any taste, so why would it be surprising that Eventbrite lists some 1,000 New Year’s Eve parties? More than 100 of those are listed as free (that’s my taste.) Others are obscenely expensive.

You can dance at parties set up in Times Square venues, such as the Marriot Marquis and the AMC 42nd Street movie theater, “six floors of fun” for as little as $49 (that’s after 12:30 a.m. admission) and as much as $3,300. Here’s an odd one offered at a discount through Goldstar

Party With the Stars at Madame Tussauds — which is to say, “with over 200 life-sized wax figures.”

Most promote a great view of the ball dropping (which — do you mind my pointing out? — is an insane pitch, but apparently an effective one)

Then there are the super-hip parties in Brooklyn and Queens.

BangOn!NYC has moved its annual bash this year to Maspeth, Queens, at the (aptly named?) Knockdown Center, with three musical stages, a silent disco, live painting, interactive art installations and performances, a bartering blackjack table, and more cosmic creations to transcend time and space.” (Their promotional material still claims the show is in Brooklyn — perhaps they mean it as a state of mind.)

Purple Rain Dance Party. For the fifth year in a row, Syndicated, a movie theater, bar and restaurant in Bushwick, Brooklyn will project the 1984 movie” Purple Rain” on the wall while dj/vjs The Hogstad Brothers spin Prince classics like “Raspberry Beret” and “Cream.”  Purple Rain or Prince-inspired costumes/attire “strongly encouraged.”

Many suggest throwing your own New Year’s Eve party, and offer vaguely insulting step-by-step tips on how to do so. The most memorable advice for throwing a party came from Joan Crawford, who was quite a partier in her day (see above). Her advice (see below)  can be summed up as:

Have a mix of people as your guests, but nobody with dirty feet.

Secretly drug them.

(P.S., don’t do this.)

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CONCERTS

Some concerts that will be sold out or too expensive will be available in your home, live, depending. (See TV listings below.)

St. John the Divine Concert for Peace.

An annual FREE event since 1984, when it was founded by Leonard Bernstein. Along with the music of Mozart and Bach, this year’s concert includes a choir singing Martin Luther King, Jr.’s I have a dream speech.(You can pay in advance to reserve a seat. Otherwise it’s first come, first served.)

  The soprano Renee Fleming will accompany the New York Philharmonic in performing Broadway and film hits, Viennese waltzes, and operetta gems. For those who can’t make it to Lincoln Center, it will be presented Live from Lincoln Center on PBS. (See TV listings below.)

  Phish at Madison Square Garden for the 12th year in a row! The bad news is that their New Year’s Even concert is sold out. The good news is 1. (as of this writing) tickets are still available for their three earlier dates. 2. see TV listings below.

Margo Price and Lilly Hiatt Music Hall of Williamsburg (country)

The Lone Bellow and Courtney Maries Andrews Bowery Ballroom (folk, country and blues)

Oteil and Friends, Brooklyn Bowl (Southern rock)

Gov’t Mule,Beacon Theatre (indie rock)

Snoop Dogg, Terminal 5, Hell’s Kitchen (hip hop and r&b)

Post Malone, Barclays Center, Brooklyn (hip hop and r&b). See TV listings below.

CABARET

With the repeal in 2017 of the hated 91-year-old Cabaret Law, which banned dancing at all but a handful of licensed venues (fewer than 100), you could argue that life is a cabaret (or at least could be) at all 25,000 eating and drinking establishments in New York City. But “cabaret” has come to define specific genres of intimate entertainment at just a few, relatively small venues, such as those below.

Tip: Most cabarets offer two seatings on New Year’s Eve. The one earlier in the evening is far less expensive. Many of these performers return to these venues every New Year’s — a wonderful tradition that makes last-minute tickets chancy, but worth trying.

Sandra Bernhard: Quick Sand at Joe’s Pub

Natalie Douglas: A Very Natalie New Year at the Duplex — her 19th New Year’s there

New Year’s Eve with Charles Busch and Friends at Feinstein’s/54 Below (early show)

Aaron Tveit on New Year’s Eve at Feinstein/54 Below (late show)

The Birdland Big Band at Birdland Jazz Club

FIREWORKS

Annual Prospect Park Fireworks – free. at Grand Army Plaza

Coney Island New Year’s Eve Celebration -5th annual celebration, with free fireworks on the boardwalk

HARBOR CRUISES

Big selling point of all these cruises — a close-up of the New Years Eve fireworks over the water. Most include a buffet, open bar, and dancing with a dj. Drawbacks: These cost hundreds of dollars, and many are already sold out. (But there are cruises during the day on New Year’s Eve”

Circle Line New Year’s Eve Cruises

Queen of Hearts Cruise

New York Water Taxi New Year’s Eve Cruise

Cornucopia Yacht at Pier 81

New Year’s Fireworks Cruise at Pier 15

Fireworks Cruise at Pier 62

HEALTHY ALTERNATIVES

A MEDITATIVE ALTERNATIVE

The Kadampa Meditation Center in Chelsea, $50 for non-members, provides a way for you to “ring in the New Year “with compassion and beneficial intentions!” — hors d’oeuvres, meditation, and no alcohol. (Pre-registration is required.) Also one this year in Williamsburg

WALKING AND RUNNING AND BIKING

New York Road Runners’   Midnight Run in Central Park

Shorewalkers Happy New Years Day Hike — Hiking the shores and parks of upper Manhattan starting at noon on New Year’s Day, which gives you a good excuse to go to bed early.

Annual Bike Ride and  Party, from Time’s Up environmental action organization. This year they’re doing it a little differently:  The ride will begin in three different locations (one in Brooklyn) and end up indoors at Museum of Reclaimed Urban Space in the East Village for what they’ve renamed the “Future Positive New Year’s Eve Dance Party” which will feature a multimedia presentation by activist artists and then live music.

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WHAT’S ON TV (and other home devices)

ABC: Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2019.  Co-hosts include Jenny McCarthy, Ciara and Lucy Hale. Performances from Christina Aguilera and Post Malone (who’s also performing at Barclay Center that night, so he’s busy), as well as Florida Georgia Line, Maren Morris, Ella Mai, The Chainsmokers, Lauren Alaina, Bazzi, Kane Brown, Camila Cabello, Ciara, Halsey, Shawn Mendes, Charlie Puth, Dua Lipa, Macklemore, Kelsea Ballerini and Foster the People.

CNN: Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen will be back together as hosts of CNN’s New Year’s Eve special for the second year (Cohen last year replacing Cooper’s decade-long partner Kathy Griffin.) They will be in Times Square live, while Brooke Baldwin and Don Lemon will be presenting the countdown from New Orleans. (I can’t help quoting what Anderson Cooper said in 2013: “I don’t know anybody who has a fun time at a party at New Year’s Eve. That’s why I work on New Year’s Eve.”)

Fox: Fox’s New Year’s Eve with Steve Harvey: Live from Times Square will feature performances by . Sting, Robin Thicke, Florence + the Machine, Jason Aldean, Juanes and Why Don’t We.

NBC: Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb will preside over a year-end special A Toast to 2018! featuring a look back at the highs and lows, followed at 10 p.m. NBC’s New Year’s Eve with hosts  Carson Daly hosts, Chrissy Teigen and SNL‘s Leslie Jones, and musical performances by Jennifer Lopez, Bebe Rexha, Urban, Diana Ross, Kelly Clarkson, Andy Grammer, Brett Young, John Legend and Blake Shelton

PBS: Live from Lincoln Center with Renee Fleming and the New York Philharmonic, followed at 10:30 by Great Performances: Leonard Bernstein Centennial Celebration at Tanglewood.

  TV Marathons

Most of these start in the evening of New Year’s Eve and then go all New Year’s Day

AMC: “The Walking Dead”

FXX: “The Simpsons.”

IFC: “The Three Stooges”

SYFY: “Twilight Zone”

WPIX: “The Honeymooners”

 And, in a nod to a new era,

1. SiriusXM plans to air live New Year’s Eve concerts by artists including Post Malone, Phish, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Willie Nelson, on various stations — eg Malone on Hip Hop Nation, Phish on Phish Radio.

2. “100 Best Movies currently on Netflix”

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  New Year’s Eve in New York City 2019: Last Minute Plans My annual New Year's Eve last-minute guide to events that are still available to do on New Year’s Eve 2019 (when 2018 turns into 2019) in New York City…