#i have the opposite problem since growing up I didn’t like Chinese food

[in-your-walls]

Privacy, Victoria Chang

[broadstbroskis]

surprises-pt 4 | mat barzal

part 3

You’ve rescheduled your second OB visit three times just so that Mat could be there, but he’s actually beaming when he arrives, so it seems like it was worth it.

“I promise it’s not that exciting.” You tell him, as you walk toward the door of the office.

“Are you kidding? This is awesome!”

You’re inclined to agree more with that statement when Mat’s mere presence brings out the star treatment and you don’t even have to wait before the nurse is bringing you back for your appointment. 

She runs quickly through vitals, assuring you that everything looks good, and letting you know your doctor will be in shortly. 

“What if your doctor’s a Rangers fan?”

“Seriously?”

“I mean, it’s a legitimate concern!” He cries.

You can’t help but burst into laughter. “Maybe she’s not a hockey fan at all.”

There’s a look of horror on his face for a moment, before he takes a deep breath. “I think that would be a little better than a Rangers fan. Microscopically, but better.” 

Your laughter sets him off and you’re both laughing when Dr.McLaughlin enters the room. She smiles as the two of you try to compose yourself, greeting you and introducing herself to Mat. 

There’s no need to kick Mat out for the Q&A session today, most of your more personal questions answered at your last appointment. In fact, you’re actually surprised when he starts firing off more questions than you’ve got, until he ends his questions with, “Are you a Rangers fan?”

“Mathew.” You snap. He is unapologetic in his shrug.

Blessedly, Dr. McLaughlin only shakes her head. “My husband would be very excited to know you’re in the office though.”

Mat nods, apparently satisfied, and you roll your eyes, offering an apology to her for him. She merely laughs, preparing to start listening to your baby’s heartbeat. “I have spent my entire married life apologizing for my husband. You don’t have to apologize to me. I get it.”

Before you have a chance to correct her, or the situation has time to get awkward, the thud-thud of your baby’s heart is swishing through the room. Your eyes are wide; she’d pointed it out to you last appointment, but it’d been so much softer. Not today.

Mat’s hand grips yours, squeezing tightly, and you lace your fingers through his, not letting go even as Dr. McLaughlin wraps up the appointment and lets you know the next ultrasound will be an anatomy scan and if you want, you may be able to find out the sex. 

Exiting the office still hand in hand, you and Mat turn your discussion toward your orange. “It’s an orange now?” He grins.

You nod. “It’s an orange now.”

“So one day.” He says slowly. “You really might be growing a watermelon in there.” He laughs as you swat at his arm. “What are you thinking, girl or boy?”

A lot of people have asked you this, since you’ve started telling people. What’s your mother’s intuition telling you, one of your coworkers had pressed. Tito continues to insist the baby will be a girl. “I don’t know.” You tell Mat, honestly. “I don’t care either, really. Just healthy.”

Mat nods. “Yeah, me too.”

“You don’t want a mini-me to play hockey with?” You tease.

He gives you a look. “If I get a mini-you, I’m still going to play hockey with her.”

“I lack the hand-eye coordination to play stick sports; I’ll just give you that warning now. You’re in for some work.”

Mat laughs. “Well girl or boy, hopefully my genes win out on that one.”

You can’t help but agree, thinking about the one season you’d spent having to play field hockey because your middle school just needed a body to put on the field. “Yeah, fingers crossed.”

-----

“Fuck yeah!” Tito cries, as he does...something in the video game that he, Mat, and Brian are playing.

“Fuck you!” Mat shoves at him, competitive as ever, and then brings his hand up to his hair, brushing his fingers through the soft locks before refocusing, and SNAP goes the carrot in your hands.

“You okay?” Molly asks. The two of you are sitting at Mat’s breakfast bar, snacking, chatting, and occasionally laughing at how much more chill Brian is compared to Mat and Tito. Their chirps just roll right off his back. 

“What?” You ask, too busy staring at Mat’s forearms to listen properly.

“You look a little flushed.” She continues.

“I’m fine.” You say quickly, but she’s already connected the dots and there’s a huge grin on her face when you look over. “Oh my god, stop.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to!”

“Ok then, how is it?”

“How’s what?”

She lowers her voice. “Pregnancy sex!”

You give her a look. “Um nonexistent.” She returns the look. “That might be my problem.” You admit. Right on schedule, according to both the book you’d downloaded to your Kindle and the app you’ve been following on your phone, pregnancy hormones have arrived, and they’re in full swing. 

“You should just go for it.” Molly shrugs. “There’s no way Mat’ll mind, especially not when your boobs look like that right now.”

“They do look really good, right?” At least there was one benefit to all this. 

“It is a shame you don’t get to keep them.” She agrees, sending you both into giggles, attracting the attention of all three of the boys.

“What’s so funny?” Tito calls over.

“Nothing.” You and Molly say simultaneously.

He looks like he wants to press the issue, but Brian shakes his head. “You’re better off not knowing. Trust me.”

Tito gives you one more side eye, before giving up and pausing the game to bring up dinner plans. “Nothing fried.” You wrinkle your nose as they all gather round. You can smell it already and even though the nausea phase has mostly passed, the thought of something fried makes your stomach roll.

“Chinese?”

“She said nothing fried!”

“Pizza?”

“Italian?”

“Pasta.” You nod in agreement and requests go around as Tito pulls up his UberEats app. Mat’s arm drops on your shoulder and squeezes, something he’s been doing more and more often since the two of you had gone to your doctor’s appointment together a couple weeks ago. It’s supposed to be comforting, a we’re in this together, kind of thing. But now that anything he did (or well, at this point, him or any man that even so much as breathed near you) turned you on, it was starting to become a problem.

“Are you okay?” He asks and you nod, unable to trust your voice if you spoke. He accepts the nod though, turning back with Brian and Tito to go back to their game while you wait for the food, and you manage to mostly ignore Molly’s knowing smirk as you can breathe a little easier.

For now.

-----

For now doesn’t last long, as Mat starts popping over more and more often. It’s not always for long- sometime he just stops in early in the morning before he leaves for a road trip, sometimes it’s just a quick minute before or after a game, only to say hello, see how you’re feeling, and if there’s anything you need. 

Sometimes, though, sometimes he comes over and stays. You’ll come home after work and find him already in your apartment, unpacking takeout (the exact takeout that you're craving, somehow he always knows) or he’ll shoot you a text and ask if you’re up for a marathon of The Office after he finishes practice.

Those days are the hardest for you. When he’s sitting in your apartment, looking like he belongs there, freshly showered with his hair still wet, and smelling strongly of whatever scent you would have associated with him before you were pregnant. You honestly would have said it smelled amazing even before this; now, it’s absolutely intoxicating and certainly doesn’t help that thing where you kind of want to jump his bones. 

It’s a little better when there’s other people around, something else to focus on. Sometimes Tito will join the two of you (although, sometimes, that honestly makes things worse for you); Molly and Brian frequently join you two for dinner, even if they don’t end up sticking around afterwards; and on rare occasions, the schedules will line up so that all five of you can actually get together for a lengthy period of time. 

“What do you think about this one?” Molly flips her phone around toward you. She’s been obsessed with scrolling through nurseries on Pinterest during her down time, texting you pictures of her finds when she’s not in the same apartment as you. 

“Pass.” Mat answers, before you even get a chance to. He’s sitting next to you on the couch, and had pulled your legs into his lap when you were shifting restlessly a few minutes ago, so his hands are resting on your kneecaps, where his thumbs will occasionally trace the outline of. Your left patella has never felt so arousing.

“I wasn’t asking you!” Molly huffs.

“Wait, I don’t get an opinion on this?” He looks between the two of you.

“Of course you do.” You assure him. “Molly!”

“Fine.” She huffs.

“We should start thinking about that.” He mutters to you. “Like what we’re going to do when the baby comes.”

“It’s on my list.” You tell him.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “You have a list?”

You nod, unlocking your phone and pulling up the notes app, before showing it to him. “It’s very long.”

He’s laughing by the time he gets to the end of it, which shocks you because your blood pressure spikes like ten points every time you open the damn thing. “You kill me.” He says, sounding almost fond. “This’ll be easy to crush.” 

You look at him in disbelief. Easy to crush? Were you looking at the same list? Everyday you thought of something new to add to it! And sure, some of them probably would be easy enough to do, but the rest of them? “Mat, are you serious?”

“Yeah!” He says, and that sets Tito and Brian in a fit of laughter. Mat rubs your knee, in what you assume is meant to be a calming gesture but has the exact opposite effect, so you shove his hand off. You’re not going to be able to concentrate if he keeps that up. “You’re not alone here. I’m here. They’re here.” 

Tito stops laughing to nod eagerly. “Team Baby!”

It’s the first time you don’t outwardly cringe when one of them says that, too touched at their willingness to help. For how supportive they’ve all been throughout this to both you and Mat, it really never fails to make you soft and pull on your heartstrings. “Start delegating.” Mat pokes you. “And let’s pick something and do it.”

“Right now?”

He nods. “You and me. Right now, let’s go.”

Immediately you know what you’re going to talk about. Your next appointment is approaching quickly and you’re not going in without having talked about this beforehand. “Do you want to find out the sex?”

“Yes.” Molly says immediately.

“Of course you do.” Tito answers, like you’ve offended his existence by even asking.

“Don’t be stupid.” Molly continues. “There’s so much we have to plan, so much we have to do.”

Mat’s ignoring the two of them, looking only at you. “Do you?”

“I don’t think I do.” You confess. You’d thought a lot about this, going back and forth, weighing pros and cons. And sure, there were a lot of pros to knowing, to having that extra bit of preparation, but…

Mat starts to grin, as soon as you finish speaking. “Me either.”

“What?’ Molly snaps.

He shrugs, resting his arm back on your thighs, and for the first time in a while, it doesn’t set your entire body on fire. “Everything else about this has been a surprise. Why change it up now?”

You beam at him, easily able to block out Tito and Molly’s (and even Brian’s, he’s getting way too comfortable if he’s starting to join in) outrage and attempts to argue their points. “You’re right.” You agree, feeling some kind of flutter in your belly when he smiles back at you. “The surprise will be good.”

[bqstqnbruin]

The Biochemistry of Smell

Wow, I’m here with another post. I actually started working on this before i got requests, so I’m sorry if you’ve requested stuff, I’m working on that, too, I just really wanted to finish this!

Also fun fact, all the stuff from the ‘paper’ in this is from my actual Biochem final paper from first semester junior year. Is that plagarism ? Oh well. 

Hope you like it!

______________________________

The family of odorant receptors also must be able to interact with the given complexity of the molecule. The receptors must bind to the odorant molecules in order to send the message to process the smell.

You were sitting in the Starbucks that was near your apartment building writing a paper on the biochemistry of smell. It was your final project and you needed somewhere with enough noise to tune out in order to sit down and focus. Not that you still don’t have music blasting in your ears, but you needed movement to block out in order to focus. At least that’s what you told yourself. Plus, needing to write this paper for your final project was enough of an excuse to get away from your roommate and her annoying boyfriend as they pretended to work on their finals. 

Except, after writing those sentences, you had a hard time figuring out how to continue. You finally look up from your computer to take in everything around you. An older man was walking outside with someone younger than him, a grandson maybe? Some girls who went to school with you gossiping about their professors. A woman in nurses scrubs leaning against the wall on her phone, her drink in hand. A guy at the table in front of you, staring at the stickers on your computer.

“It’s not polite to stare, ya know.” You say, taking out your music, giving the stranger a slight death stare that probably made you look more annoyed than anything. 

“I’m just looking at the stickers. They don’t make sense.” He gets up and places himself at the seat opposite you, the one you had your feet on for the last two hours, “I’m Jackson.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember asking? And what do you mean they don’t make sense?” You try to ignore his answer, just going back to your paper: Changing the structure of the molecule changes the smell produced by the molecule.  

“Oh, a feisty girl. And I mean, you’ve got all these Dallas sports teams stickers, but here we are in Denver. Wait, is that the Boston Red Sox?” he squints at the clear red B that was in the upper right-hand corner of your computer. The Stars logo was in the center, the Cowboys logo under the Sox, the Mavs in the bottom left corner, all surrounded by the other stickers that displayed what you liked for all to see that you’ve had since the beginning of the last school year: the chemistry sticker, Welton, turtles, The Office, Stitch, and more. 

“My mom grew up in Boston but I grew up in Dallas, it’s a family team. What do you want from me? I go to school here.” 

“So that means we can see each other a lot?” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. God, this guy was annoying. 

“You go to Regis, Jackson?” 

“No, but I work here, and what are the chances that I’ve seen you here every day for the last week and a half at the same time, the two of us sitting in the same places, at times, but today is the first day you’ve noticed me?”

You shrug, “I’ve been doing work for finals. I have a paper to write.”

“On what?” 

“The biochemistry of smell.”  

“So what’s your name?”

“Can you please just let me write my paper? I was just fine working on it before you started staring.” You had enough distraction at the apartment with your roommate, you didn’t need to have more distraction in the one place where you could block it out. He keeps talking while you just try to go back to writing. A molecule of higher complexity is typically found to be more pleasant than a molecule with lower complexity.  An example of this deals with furan, which has three olfactory notes: cinnamon, smokey, and spicy. 

“Hey! I thought we were going to meet at the Starbucks on the other side of campus?” A guy wearing an Avs sweatshirt comes up to you, taking the seat next to you. He plays for them, you just can’t remember his name, but why is he coming up to you?

“Oh, sorry, I must have read your message wrong. I was wondering why you were late,” you decide to play along. He’s much less annoying than Jackson is, and you have to admit, he’s much more attractive.

“Who’s your friend?” He turns to Jackson, who’s now bright red and looks incredibly frustrated over the fact that someone just crashed the one-sided conversation.

“You’re Tyson Jost. How do you know-” he looks at you, realizing he doesn’t know your name. 

“Y/N?” you say, glancing up from your computer.

“Y/N’s my girlfriend,” he spits out, his arm finding his way to the back of your chair until his hand ends up on your other shoulder. You have to admit, him doing that made you jump a little, but you were just hoping Jackson didn’t notice it before you settled back into your chair.

“Ya know, I think I actually have to go. Nice to meet you two,” Jackson says, storming out of the Starbucks. 

“You looked really annoyed and I figured pretending to know you for a few minutes was better than you killing him,” Tyson says, standing up once Jackson is definitely gone. 

“Thanks for keeping me out of jail,” you tell him, smiling up at him. You’re actually sad that he has to go. “Why don’t you take his seat?”

He looks stunned for a moment before a smile spreads across his face, taking the seat. “So I think I heard you were writing a paper on the biochemistry of smell?”

“Uh, yeah, it’s my final paper for my biochemistry lecture.”

“So what, different chemicals cause you to smell different things?”

You look at him, shocked but smiling, “You know something about smell?”

“I get bored and I start reading things.” 

The two of you spend hours talking. He was much nicer about the stickers on your laptop. You two had spent so long talking, you didn’t even notice the missed calls from your roommate asking you why you had been gone for so long. 

“Hey, just checking in on you, haven’t heard from you in a while. Dylan and I are ordering Chinese good tonight, let me know what you want.”

“Y/N/N, we’re ordering, but if you don’t answer I’m just assuming you want veggie lo mein and egg drop soup. Worst case you eat it tomorrow. Love ya.” 

“Bruh, answer your damn phone, would ya? Find my friends says you’re still at Starbs, hopefully you’re with your phone and not off in a ditch or kidnapped in the back of a van. See ya later.” 

“Everything alright?” Tyson says, seeing the look on your face as you debate going to your apartment, or possibly asking Tyson to do something else with you tonight.

“Yeah, my roommate is just wondering where I am. I just need to call her back, is that alright?”

“I’ll be right here,” he smiles at you, leaning back in his chair and stretching, revealing abs as his shirt lifts up. 

You know your eyes grow wide as your cheeks flush, running to the back near the bathroom so you can call your roommate, “Hey, Jocelyn, I’m fine, I’m still at Starbucks, I’m alive. Go ahead and order with dinner with Dylan without me, I’ll explain later but wow I might be making an ass out of myself right now. Ok, wish me luck, love you, bye.”

“So, once you finish this paper, what are you going to do?” Tyson asks once you get back to the table. 

“Uh, probably try to find some dinner. My roommate and her boyfriend are eating at my place, but something tells me they’re going to be doing more than just eating food,” you both laugh as you start to put away your computer, “Any suggestions on where to eat?” 

“Well, I know a place that has a special on chicken fajita pasta that I was going to go to,” Tyson says, standing up as you swing your bag over your shoulder, careful to not hit anyone passing by while doing so.

“Oh, really? Where?”

“My place.” 

“You’re inviting me for dinner?” 

“Only if you can tell me what chemicals are giving off the smells. You are the expert, after all.” 

The two of you walk out, his hand finding yours as he leads you to his place. “Well if it’s garlic, it has some sort of sulfur-containing compound, which is the same type of compound that’s associated with rotten eggs and the smell gas companies but into natural gas.” 

“So garlic and rotten eggs are the same compounds?”

“No, they just both have sulfur.” 

He spends the rest of the walk asking you about your research paper, followed by spending the rest of the evening cooking together, talking about your lives, bonding over the love of hockey you both shared (even though his ran much deeper seeing as he did it for a living). Time flew by, you didn’t even realize it was almost two in the morning when Jocelyn called you again, frantic, “I’m outside the building Find My iPhone says you’re in, and I’m here with Dylan, do we need to come in and kill someone?”

“No, love, calm down. I’ll be down in a few, ok?” You calm her down long enough so you can say goodbye to Tyson.

“We’ll have to do this again?” he asks, looking nervous, running his hand through his hair as he struggles to make eye contact with you.

“I would love that. Maybe next time you can meet my crazy roommate?”

“And maybe next time I can read the full paper on smell?” he asks, blushing by how nerdy that sounded. He actually seemed really interested in reading your paper, just as he has seemed interested in you all night.

“Sure. And, thanks again, for saving me from that guy,” you say, trying to prevent yourself from leaving. You can feel the tension building around the two of you. He wants to at least kiss you, and you definitely want to kiss him. 

“Uh, yeah. No problem.” 

“Oh, my god,” you say, grabbing his arm. Enough is enough. You kiss him as your hands find their way through his hair, his hands finding his way around your waist. 

You can hear a car honking from outside, knowing that it’s Jocelyn and Dylan. Tyson pulls away, obviously startled, but also seems relieved. “Oh, yeah, we have to do this again, please.” 

[jubilantwriter]

No Idiots Were Harmed in the Making of His Reality

(AO3)  (First)  (Epilogue)

Summary:  The gang goes to an unnamed popular fast food joint after Pico commits mass murder in the name of protecting his duo of idiots.  And this is the thanks he gets.

Or:  An unfortunate fast food employee gets the misfortune of meeting the trio in their finest hour.

Word Count:  2127

////

There’s only so much a job description can prepare one for.  For instance: making burgers, serving customers, taking orders, so on and so forth.  That’s what this minimum wage job suggested she would be doing.  But it didn’t come with the fine print.  It didn’t tell her that she’d be making burgers, sandwiches, chicken nuggets, fries, so on and so forth under pressure as customers ranged from dead-inside but patient patrons to Karen levels of impatient and entitled.  There’s caveats, little sidebars, unmentioned stressors that go overlooked because her job is solely to serve the people shitty, shitty burgers.

And it barely even helps her pay rent.  The things she’s seen on the job only serves to make her wonder how long it’ll take for her to become either bitter and jaded or completely desensitized by the bullshit this hellish existence can throw at her.  Maybe it’ll be a mix of both.

The door opens and swings shut with a heavy, muted thud.  Cashier Girl looks up, already exhausted two hours into her shift as she catches sight of the next batch of cus-

Oh.  Oh no.  Oh no, they look like trouble.

A tall, bubbly young lady in a figure hugging dress smiles sweetly in that, “I’m going to try really hard not to create problems on purpose for you”, sort of way, which happens to be Cashier Girl’s favorite kind of customer.  Granted, this girl looks nothing like trouble.  She looks like the exact opposite of trouble.  But the two men she has in tow makes Cashier Girl think twice about lowering her guard around the pretty girl.  

Standing next to her is some dude with cyan-colored hair, a red cap turned backwards in a very dudebro kind of way.  He dresses sloppily, like he just rolled out of bed and threw on whatever happened to be in reach, which also just so happened to be the same clothes he wore the day before.  His clearly white shirt is stained with something… she hopes is nothing but the results of him being a messy eater.  Or maybe he got into a knife fight and won?  That has to be the answer for the mysterious, rusty stains and splatters on the right side of his shirt.  

However, the one who really sets off her anxiety radar is the taller young man standing next to the cyan shortie.  The guy is covered in blood.  Not only that, but she’s pretty sure he’s toting at least two guns on his person.  And to top it off, he’s wearing a sweater vest and a turtleneck in this kind of weather!  Granted, it is a bit chilly, but that level of layering just feels like overkill.  He glowers with his arms folded over his chest, clearly hating everything about this experience.  Is that dried blood on his face?  That is absolutely dried blood all over his face.

Cashier Girl sucks in a deep breath through her teeth and puts on a well practiced smile.  “Hello!  May I take your order?”

“Yes please!  Um,” the lady in red nudges the shorter man with a smile, “what were we going to order again?”

“Beep!”

...Beep?

“Oh!  Right!  Can we get the 2 for $5 deal?”

She could understand all of that from a single beep?!  “Of course!  And what would you like?”

“Badoop.”  The cyan-haired man nudges the blood covered ginger, and boy, did it look like Little Boy Blue was poking a stick at an angry bear.  “Skdeep!”

Having been in the industry for a long, two years has given Cashier Girl the ability to see when someone is about to take a dive into the deep end fairly quickly.  The ginger twitches an eye, lips pulled into a snarl as he breathes out a little too deeply.  Not quite like a sigh, but like a bull about to charge headfirst into a china shop on purpose.  He sucks in a harsh breath through gritted teeth and hunches his shoulders up.  Oh wow, he’s really restraining himself.

“Just get me…”  And of course Probably a Murderer understood everything Little Boy Blue said.  “The nugs and burg.” 

With the way he’s restraining himself, she wants to believe that he once worked in the same industry as her.  No wonder he’s a murderer.  Good for him, good for him.  Doing what the rest of them can’t do.  

“Alright!  And is there anything else I can get for you?”

“Hmm.”   Pretty Miss Sunshine looks over to Little Boy Blue who shakes his head before turning back to face Cashier Girl.  “I think that’s it!”

“Alright, your total comes to $5.40.”  

“Beep!”  Little Boy Blue pipes up excitedly and starts digging around in, what she assumes is, his back pocket.  The short man pulls out a crumpled, moist-looking five dollar bill.  He straightens it out, and Cashier Girl swears that a good quarter of the bill is stained with blood.  Probably a Murderer must have noticed the blood too, because he suddenly stiffens and glares at Little Boy Blue.

“...Boyfriend.”  Oh shit, are they dating?  Is Miss Sunshine just a lady friend of theirs?  “Isn’t that the fuckin’ money I lent to you a couple weeks back?”

Oh damn.  Cashier Girl looks between Blue and Murderer, Blue either oblivious to Murderer’s growing rage or too wildly confident that the bloodstained ginger won’t actually hurt him.   As interesting as the tension may be, she still needs the forty cents to complete their order.

“Sir-”

“Ba beep!”  Boy Blue nods vigorously, but she knows it’s not towards her.  Murderer lets out a long, aggrieved sigh as he massages his temples.

“So.  You’re tellin’ me.”  He points to the money on the counter and back at Boy Blue.  “You spent… how long at my apartment?  Botherin’ me for some extra cash for food, refusin’ to leave for a good few hours, and then completely forgettin’ about gettin' the fuckin’ food you were supposed to get?  After I gave you the goddamn money?”

“Oh, I remember that day!”  Pretty Miss Sunshine speaks up a little too cheerily given the mood.  “We were supposed to get some Chinese takeout, so Boyfriend disappeared for a bit to ask you for some extra money since he was short some.”  Wait, are they all dating each other?  What the hell?  “But Boyfriend came back looking all happy and without any food, and when I asked where the food was, he said he totally forgot!  We ended up just using Daddy’s credit card since I remembered I still had it, so we still got food in the end.”  Miss Sunshine beams brightly at the flabbergasted Murderer.  “You don’t need to worry about that!”

“That’s not what I was pissed about!”  For a yell worthy statement, Murderer does an awfully good job at keeping his voice reasonably leveled in this shitty fast food restaurant.  “And you had a credit card this entire time?!  Why do you fucks keep comin’ over to my place to ask for cash?!”  

“Ohhh, well, Daddy took it back after he found out I still had it.  But now I’m borrowing from Mommy instead-”

“Oh, so you just have another credit card you could be usin’ instead of my money-”

“Excuse me,” Cashier Girl says as politely as possible, seeing how Murderer’s hand is twitching over one of his guns, “but you still haven’t paid the full amount.”

“Boop!”  Boy Blue quickly begins to dig through his pockets, his confident smirk slowly morphing into a stricken grimace as his movements grow more frantic.  “Sk-skido, bap de doop-”

“Do not fuckin’ tell me you do not have forty fuckin’ cents.”

Ohhhh shit.  Cashier Girl feels torn between wanting to see Murderer fucking snap because man, they really are just running his patience into the GROUND, and wanting her goddamn forty cents so that she can move on with these customers.  Murderer’s face turns a bright shade of red as he inhales a deep breath through his nostrils and breathes out heavily through gritted teeth once more, the process repeating a few times before he reaches for his back pocket and pulls out a ratty wallet that’s literally being held together with duct tape.  Quietly, they all watch as he shakes some coins out and carefully counts out forty cents exactly.

“There,” he says softly in that tone she recognizes from parents who are this close to losing their absolute shit towards their children, “five fucking dollars and forty cents.”

Cashier Girl looks up and sees Miss Sunshine finally starting to sweat just a bit.  Still, she keeps up her cheerful demeanor as she addresses Cashier Girl.  “I think we’re good now, right?”

“Uh, yes!”  She takes the money and tries to get a read on Murderer to see if this shift will be her last one, but he’s got his arms crossed as he stares directly ahead.  The stony expression can only spell doom for the two standing next to him.  “Your number is 69,” haha nice, “and your order will be out shortly!”

“Babeep!  Pi-!”  Blue probably tries to make the same comment that Cashier Girl internally made to Murderer, but he’s quickly shut down by the dark glare Murderer shoots down.  He quickly laughs nervously and clears his throat, rubbing his arm as he looks away sheepishly.  “H-hm…  bop.”  Blue takes the receipt and nods his thanks, going over to stand by one of the dividers with Miss Sunshine in tow.  Murderer, however, remains where he stands, now making uncomfortable eye-contact with her.  Anger still rolls off of him in waves, but she’s starting to wonder if being angry is just his default.

“Oi,” he begins, and she quickly glances behind him to see if there are any other customers behind him.  None.  She’s not sure if she’s disappointed or a bit glad that there’s no one standing behind him.  “Honest opinion - you think this joint is a good enough reward for savin’ their asses?”

Oh boy.  Cashier Girl has no idea what he means by “savin’ their asses”, but if he means it literally then…  She sucks in a breath through her teeth and tries not to grimace.  He grunts in response and squeezes his eyes shut with a humorless chuckle.  “Yeah, thought so.  Really shouldn’t have taken them at their word when they said, ‘their treat’.  Ain’t nothin’ been their treat so far.”

Oof.  That’s right.  That five was originally his that Boy Blue was supposed to pay back, and the forty cents were definitely his.  The guy basically treated himself by force.  They both share a silent look before he sighs heavily.  As much as she’d kind of like to hear more of this dude’s story and why he’s even friends (datemates?  They did call Little Boy Blue, “Boyfriend”, after all) with them, she still has a job to do, and chatting with customers for longer than a certain, nondescript time could get her in trouble.  However, much to her relief, the ginger takes the initiative wordlessly and wanders back to the pair, sulking in his blood soaked clothes.  

Despite clearly looking like a group of troublemakers (especially Murderer), the three keep to themselves, Blue and Sunshine chatting amongst themselves and nudging Murderer every once in a while in some dangerous gambit to get his attention.  Each time they do that, he grips his arms tightly, before stiffly looking over to them as they jabber on about something Cashier Girl can’t hear.  All he does is nod and look away, intent on focusing on some spot on the wall and practice what she assumes is deep breathing exercises.  For a dude covered in blood, he’s doing a real good job at showing restraint.

Finally, their number is called.  Little Boy Blue grabs the bag with glee and nods his thanks to her co-worker before heading back to the group.  He practically thrusts the bag into Murderer’s face, and the ginger looks ready to bite his hand off when he catches sight of Blue and Sunshine’s faces.  They both look so… genuinely hopeful?  Like some shitty nuggets and a burger will be enough to quell his fury.  Cashier Girl is about to suck in a sharp breath when his expression softens.  He takes the bag and almost manages a smile, before seeing the blood on Little Boy Blue’s clothes and hardening his expression back into an annoyed glower.

They all leave without much fanfare.  The door slams behind them as she hums to herself, thinking back to this strange group of people who made less trouble than she expected.  A smirk rises to her face before she schools it for the next batch of customers.  

At least she knows now why he still hangs out with those friends of his.  What a softie.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Zuisouroku Omokage-ge hana Animate Drama Translation

Last post of the month, but instead of my usual message, I figured I should change it due to current circumstances.... So. If you are able, please consider donating to your local food banks, the Red Cross or other charities who are supporting those affected by Covid-19. Alternatively, consider donating blood (including this since I saw this on CBC and from the Canadian Blood Services and they both mentioned potential shortages), tipping those who deliver your food/take out delivery (every dollar counts to some of these people - I would know since I’m unemployed right now cuz of what’s going on but will able to get by. huzzah for the Canadian government!), or support other content creators, writers, translators and artists who need help if possible. 

Also make sure you wash your hands for 20 seconds, avoid touching your face, cough into your sleeve/elbow, practice social distancing and refrain from going out if possible.... and please, please do not go singling out a certain ethnicity for how things are right now. I have a second cousin who works in a hospital down in california, and another living in new york right now.... and the last thing they need is racism and harassment. 

Anyway. I’m finally done with this drama. not really fond of putting things all together since that means i need to translate more hakuoki content for another week (i prefer to do less lol), but i’ve made an exception to this as the audio was supplied to me earlier by Aysha (which is also why i had this drama jump the queue lol). Edits will be done when I get to my subtitle video.

do not repost elsewhere. also thank you to @jokertrap-ran​ for helping me with 2 sentences that i just couldn’t figure out the Chinese for (they’re the ones left in bold), and thank you again to Aysha for supplying the audio. 

Videos are now here 

Track 1: https://youtu.be/ETTfJHCKOkk

Track 2: https://youtu.be/Nnp0mE_DLmw

enjoy?

Hakuoki Zuisouroku Omokage-ge hana Animate Drama CD Shimabara After story

Track 1

Translation by KumoriYami

Harada: Okay! Well now that this Shimabara incident is over, let's take the opportunity to drink! Everyone don't hold back [says: be modest], we aren't going home until we're drunk/unless we get drunk!

Okita: Arresting/Catching so many ronin, Kondou-san was also very happy! He also said that the spies hiding here were also arrested by the Shinsengumi.

Saito: However it seems that the Vice-Commander was a little anxious/upset. Because of the investigation of the spies, [news of it] has already spread throughout Shimabara. Tonight's festivities, although it was approved by the vice-commander, he  however said that we need to conduct ourselves with dignity [behave appropriately]

Souji: Yes/indeed. Then let's order some expensive food! Excuse me, please start with your most expensive wine in the store served with similar dishes!

Saito: Wait a moment! Why are you doing the opposite! The vice-commander clearly said, that we should be holding a meeting to reflect upon ourselves, and should not be celebrating by drinking.....

Souji: Eh, I can't hear anything!

Harada: heisuke, what's wrong? You haven't said anything from the start. Are you still brooding over what happened?

Heisuke: Wha....what do you mean by brooding? Sano-san. Don't say things that don't make sense/something strange.

Souji: What what? What are you brooding over/what's the matter?

Harada: Ah, so it's like this......

Heisue: Hey, I told you not to say anything unnecessary!

Harada: Ah, sorry. can't you just say it?

Souji: Are you keeping a secret from us?  That's really annoying [unpleasant].

Heisuke: Since it's only a small matter, I haven't said anything.

Souji: In that case just enjoy yourself to the fullest. Thanks to her dressing up as a geisha, she was able to infiltrate Shimabara to obtain information, and we were able to catch all those roshi at once.

Heisuke: But.... I din't want to have her dressed up like that..... [force?]

Souji: Areh?

Heisuke:.......What.

Souji: Hm~? it turns out/so that's what it was, it was that thing.

Heisuke: Don't smile like that! 

Souji: How annoying, my usual expression is like this.

Heisuke: Liar! Whenever Souji shows this kind of expression, you're definitely not thinking of anything good!

Souji: Actually/In fact you don't need to feel embarrassed, could it be that Heisuke didn't think that she looked lovely dressed as a geisha?

Harada: [it's?] Because she was originally a beauty [from the start she's already beautiful]

Souji: That response is really straight to the point/direct.   Compared to Heisuke who felt embarrassed/shy because of how cute she looked dressed as a geisha, the reactions of everyone else was like the difference between heaven and earth.

Heisuke: Why am I being dragged into his! I only that because she's not a member of the troopi, that she shouldn't be taking on such a dangerous assignment, that's all......

Harada: For the purpose of keeping her out of danger, weren't we on standby in the corner room?? You were great, shouting "that's not good," [and] "I can't stand this" or something, and rushed outside.

Heisuke: Why are you telling the truth!!! Anyway shut up and stop talking you idiot!

Harada: Whoops, i'm really sorry.  

Souji: Eh..... so that's it. I didn't expect that.

Heisuke: No, that's not [it]......!s

Saito (whispering): Actually/In fact I can understand Heisuke's thoughts...... at the time I was also deeply fascinated [entranced/captivated] by how she was dressed.

Souji: Hajime-kun?

Saito: Ah...Uh, sorry, i'ts nothing...Well, I did just say it...

Souji: Well, I can hear you very well. It turns out that even Hajime-kun was also deeply fascinated by her dress [check if says kimono. also rephrase later].

Saito : !!!! I, I didn't mean [it like?] that! Just, just because I was unfamiliar with how she dressed, doesn't mean that I was attracted [to it? her?]....... [rephrase later]

Souji: In other words, you admit that you're attracted to her?

Saito: No....... In any case I am also a captain in the Shinsengumi so how could I think of something so shameless when I am carrying out my duties! Anyhow, where is she? It seems that she hasn't arrived here yet......

Harada: Hijikata-san and Shinpachi should be bringing her over soon.

(the sound of footsteps and a door sliding open)

???: I just saw her a moment ago being questioned at the entrance of Shimabara. And together with Hijikata.

Heisuke: You are.... Kazama?! (reaches for sword)

Kazama: Put away your sword. I'm in a good mood today, and have no reason to fight you.

Souji: What does your so-called good mood mean/what do you mean by good mood?

Kazama: That goes without saying. Of course it's because I saw my wife's beautiful dress [appearance]. As expect, my eyes did not make a mistake [were not wrong].

Saito: Yukimura is not your wife. Her attitude towards you has been blatant/explicit.

Kazama: I've heard that woman who grow up in Edo are very strong. Even if she fell in love with me, she wouldn't show it.

Souji: Where does your self-confidence come from?

Harada: Go back to that [going back to what you said before], Chizuru's being interrogated?! Did someone discover her identity as a woman......

Kazama: It's because of the elopement incident that Hijikata caused which seems to have [caused her to be] been noticed [rephrase later].

Souji: Eh~ I just heard some extraordinary gossip [interesting]. It turns out that Hijikata-san already had such a reputation at Shimabara/Hijikata-san's reputation has spread to such an extent at Shimabara.

Harada: Oi, Souji. For the sake of safety/To be on the safe side, don't speak of this/go around spreading this to the other team members......

Souji: How hateful/annoying, I won't speak of such nonsense. But in the event that someone asks me if the Vice-Commander is or isn't with a geisha from Shimabara, I won't hide anything/speak without holding back.

Kazama: Alright [Very well... or something cuz its kazama], [let's] start drinking. The depressed guy over there, hurry up and prepare sake for me.

Heisuke: Oi! Why are you sneaking into our party?!

(After a while......)

Heisuke (sounds drunk for the rest of this track): Speaking of which.... I was against this plan from the very beginning!

Saito:......Heisuke, did you drink too much? Your eyes are starting to droop [lose focus].

Heisuke: Teach me how to not drink so much!

Saito: Why are you so upset?

Heisuke: I'm super pissed!!! For a covert investigation, we actually didn't need to use her, as long as we paid a geisha to assist us, but she was abruptly dragged down into this by us.

Saito: Your way of thinking isn't understandable, but it was also her who took the initiative to help us, [so] your criticisms are a little too much. [check audio to hear if this sounds like multiple sentences]

Harada: That's right.  Based on the outcome, nothing big happened, [which] this isn't bad.

Souji: Seeing how cute she was dressed, Heisuke was definitely/obviously very happy.

Heisuke: You smiling demon [???]!!! Compared to those clothes, the clothes of an ordinary woman clearly suit her more [rephrase later]!!

Harada: maybe, I'd also like her to see her dressed like an ordinary woman.

Heisuke: Hey......Sano-san, I've wanted to ask you.... She.... what is she to you?

Harada: Hm? I don't really think much of it but, is something the matter? Why do you ask? [i’ll reword ^ later when i get to the drama]

heisuke: I feel that Sano-san.... your attitude, rather than a comrade, you treat her more as a woman.

Harada: That's the [your?] problem. Although she's usually dressed in men's clothes, she's still genuinely a woman. It's only natural to treat her as a woman/Of course she still has to be treated as a woman.

Heisuke: [That's/so] Too sly/cunning......!

Souji: If Heisuke wants to treat her as a girl, he should be honest and say so and not be secretive about it..

Kazama: (setting down a glass) Toudou...... could it be that you have ill intentions towards my wife [TL is more or less evil thoughts/desire lol]? First take a look in a mirror [Look at yourself in the mirror first].

Heisuke: Shut up! You're the last one to be teaching me anything [last one who she be saying anything] ! She hates you the most out of all of us!!!

Kazama: I remember what I said just now [Remember what I said just now], Edo women, even if they fall in love, they will not express their true thoughts.

Saito:......I think it'd be nice if Heisuke could have a face as thick as Kazama's [if Heisuke could be as thick-headed as Kazama.... probably? or if Heisuke could have a face that had a fraction of Kazama's thickness]

Heisuke: Hajime-kun where the hell did your arm go?!

Souji: Don't first talk about Heisuke, what about yourself Hajime-kun [rephrase later]? Are you confident enough to defeat a crowd of rivals in love while surrounded and at her side?

Saito:......What are you talking about! The team has rules that ban personal fights!

Souji: That is to say, if it's not a personal fight, we're allowed to fight until one of us is dead/you'd fight to the death?

Saito:.....Why must you twist other people's words to this degree/extent!

Kazama: You bastard...... it seems that I'll have to force the truth from your mouth. Oi, Toudou. bring out the strongest sake in the store! I'm going to expose what his sincere thoughts he has [will have the truth forced from this man].

Heisuke: Why are you ordering me around!? Wait a moment/Hold on...... this is for getting Hajime-kun drunk so he'll tell the truth...... Yosh! I'm going to get/grab it at once/immediately!

(Heisuke gets up and runs out)

Saito: Wait!  It doesn't matter that you guys are already drunk, but I cannot get drunk [now]......

Souji: (pours sake) Don't say that, let's drink without holding back! These opportunities are hard to come by!

---------------------------------------

Track 2

Hijikata: It was pointed out that Yukimura looked a lot like the geisha who eloped the other day...... It look a while/lot of time to settle that mater.

(door opens)

Hijikata: I've made you wait for a long time! Sorry, I sent Yukimura back first with Shinpachi to headquarters......Eh, what's going on?!

Souji: Ah. Hijikata-san, you're really late.

Hijikata: You're the one that's late! Harada and Heisuke are completely drunk!

Kazama: What are you saying/talking about. It's your fault that you're always so slow.

Hijikata: Kazama! You bastard why are you here?!

Kazama: Don't mention that, why haven't you brought my wife?

Hijikata: Who's your wife! It's because she got upset from being interrogated, she first went back to headquarters.......Geez, this isn't the time to be getting involved with that guy. You guys! Stand up! Didn't I warn you guys about conducting yourself properly!?

Harada: Ah! If it isn't Hijikata-san! Now that Hijikata-san is here, we need to start from the begining! If you ask me about when I got this scar on my stomach......

Hijikata: I've said it many times [but] I've heard already heard your [that] story before.

Heisuke: Hijikata-san! I wanna ask you...... were you really planning on eloping with her/is it true that you were really going to elope with her?

Hijikata: Ha?! Where the hell did you hear that from? At best, that's a misunderstanding since I'd never do something like that!

Souji: Eh? Is that really true?  I thought that Hijikata-san wasn't the kind of person who would do something that could cause people to misunderstand in this way/who would ever do something so misleading. [or just misleading]

Heisuke: Then it's true! Hijikata-san used his position as vice-commander to elope with her, this method is too despicable!

Hijikata: Didn't I say, that I didn't do any of that! Can't you understand [Why can't you understand that]!

Saito: Exactly. If the Vice-Commander wanted to take Yukimura, he would not employ such callow and clumsy tricks, rather he would adopt a more complex and sophisticated course of action [tactics...?].

Hijikata:......Oi, Saito, are you trying to protect me or kill me? Give me a clear-cut position [clear answer]!

Saito: What are you saying. I will always be on the vice-commander's side. [literally: i will forever stand with/at the vice-commander's side whenever]

Hijikata: It's great that your on my side......

Souji: Right now it's pointless to say anything to Hajime-kun. Because regardless of what you say to hajime-kun, his expression won't change even though he's actually already completely drunk.

Hijikata: to actually like to say this kind of things, anyway it's you guys' fault that he's [this?] drunk!

Kazama: You came at just the right time (pours wine). Hijikata. Answer me. What kind of intentions do you have towards my wife who you have confined to your headquarters?

Hijikata: What kind of intentions [what do you mean by intentions]? Why should I answer you?

Souji: Isn't there a reason? Hijikata-san has said himself that he likes women from Edo.

Kazama: What? Then it's true.......

Hijikata: What "it's true" nonsense ! Souji! Quit always saying such misleading things!

Heisuke: Ah~ so it's like that, Hijikata-san's aiming for her too? Despite how he was so strict over a mere mistake! 

Hijikata: I'm telling you, I wasn't planning on doing that......!

Harada: But to secretly protect her......

Hijiakta hey wait! When did I do that!

Kazama: I see. So it was like that. (picks up sword) Hijikata..... even if it costs me all of my pride and dignity/honour, I will have you buried here today/I will kill you today!

Hijikata: don't misunderstand me [don't misunderstand/quit misunderstanding]! She was allowed to stay at headquarters for the sake of/for the purpose finding Kodo-san, because of that, she was given the identity of a page.......

Souji: But don't you call her every few days to your room to have her make you tea? A lone man and a woman in a room, in the end, who knows what might have happened~ [between them?] [depending on the audio i'll make thr second sentence longer/shorter]

Kazama: What.... [very] good/great Hijikata, to go as far as to use/to actually make use of your position to do this sort of thing!! I will not spare you! this opportunity just arrived [this is a golden opportunity/the perfect chance?]! We'll settle this over wine/drinking!

Hijikata: HA?! why did this happen?!

Heisuke DAMN IT~~~~!!!! it turns out that Hijikata-san is a rival (in love)————！！！！ Oi, Kazama! We have a temporary alliance! Hijikata-san! We're going to drink to decide this!

Saito: The Vice-commander and Yukimura....!? Ah.... What is the truth to this emotion buried deep within my heart [what is the meaning to this emotion buried deep within my heart]? Without drinking, I can't calm/dispel my resentment!!

Harada: Although it is important to respect that her personal opinions...... if we're using wine to determine a victor, I will accept this challenge!

Hijikata: I didn't say any of that, you're getting it all wrong!!! You guys, listen to me!

【END】

---------------------------------------

image swiped from suruga-ya...  i will definitely be rephrasing most of the 2nd half of track 2 for more... conversational word sense. couldn't think of how to make things sound natural when i posted this but i'll get that done along with all the necessary editing later when i get to making my srt file for this drama.... aiming to have the subtitles done for next month (currently working on the files now). 

also, next month im planning on mostly ssl game content... and to have the remainder of all Zuisouroku game content posted in may... (i now officially have enough tl+imags posts queued til the end of may).

stay safe ppl!

(p.s. in case you didn’t see my psa, i’m sharing a number of hakuoki vids and art books. full list is on my tumblr page “stuff i have”)

[mcuamerica]

Always On My Mind (prologue)

“Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have if I make you feel second best I'm so sorry I was blind You were always on my mind” - Willie Nelson

Summary: History between two performers can be complicated when they have to be lovers in a new movie that could take both their careers to another level. 

Paring: Actor!Tom x Actress!reader; Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Warnings: some fluff; (a/n: little disclaimer -- I do not own Tom or any of the people mentioned in this fanfic; I am just using his name/face for this fanfic. This is not how Tom acts and I do not know him, so, therefore, I do not know if he would do any of this.)

(gif credit here)

It was a busy Monday morning as you ran into the coffee shop to grab your morning wake up. You had just started filming for a small TV show in London that was going to help jump start your career as an actress. You started film acting when you were 15, and now you were 18. You were lucky when your agent told you that you had gotten this job, you were starting to lose hope that you would get a good role. This show was small but it was doing good and catching the attention of some producers.

It wasn’t too long until you had gotten your coffee and headed off to set. I sighed as you ran into someone on the way out, causing you to drop your cup to the ground. “Oh, I’m sorry.” You said and cringed, looking up to the tall stranger. 

The man, rather boy, shook his head as he nervously smiled. “It’s uh, no problem. My fault anyway. Anyway, you’d like me to get you another coffee?” He asked, glancing at the coffee on the ground and then back into your eyes.

You stuttered and shook your head, feeling yourself blush. Not only was he kind to offer another cup, but he was incredibly handsome.

“Oh come on, I insist.” He said and pointed to the counter. “What were you having?” He asked and walked over to the barista to tell her his drink order and waited for you to reply. You had been in London for two weeks now, so it was normal to hear the British accent but his sounded different. It wasn’t terribly deep, but still enduring and inviting to you.

“Uh.. yeah,” You said softly and walked over to him to tell him what you were having. The barista soon made both of your coffee’s and the stranger had walked over to the door with you. 

“I’m Tom, by the way,” He said and held out his hand for you to shake. You nodded and moved your coffee cup to your other hand, shaking his gently as you told him your name as well. You both held onto the other’s hand for a couple seconds longer than normal. “I’ve got a little bit until I should head home. Would you mind if I uh.. walked you to were you’re going?” He asked.

“Umm... I mean I’m just going to work.” You said and looked at the time. “And I’m going to be late if I don’t get going.” You said and smiled gently at Tom. “If you want, here,” You said and wrote your number down, handing him the piece of paper. “You can call me, or text me, or anything really,” You said with a nervous glance to your hands. “And maybe then we can take that walk.” You said and waved to Tom before walking towards the studio.

***

“Yeah, so I’ve just sent in a video for this role. I can’t really talk about it, but I think it’s gonna be really cool.” Tom said as you two ate the Chinese food. You had been dating him for the past two months, both growing very close. The filming for the series you had been shooting just wrapped and you were to stay in London for another month until the premiere of the last episode. So, Tom was keeping you company while you waited for another audition to come up.

“I’m sure you’ll get it, at least a callback.” You told him and crossed your legs on the couch. You both were at your studio apartment, watching Friends on a low volume so you could catch up.

“Well, I hope. It’s something uh.. Marvel-related I think. My agent said I would know more if I get to send in more videos and receive more sides.” He explained and you nodded, happy to see your boyfriend excited like this.

“That is so cool. What do you think it’s for? The actual Marvel movies or the ones that Fox and Sony produce?” You asked and laughed when he shrugged. “Well, I certainly think you’ll be a great addition to the Marvel movies when you get the part.” You said happily, leaning back into the couch. He laughed and shook his head. “What? My optimism too good for you?”

“No, I love it.” He said and smiled, looking at you happily. “But, before I can get to that, we get to watch the final episode of your show next month.” He said and smiled.

“Yeah, but if my agent doesn’t find something for me here, I’ve gotta move back to LA once my lease is up.” You said sadly, looking over to him. He waved that off and a small smirk came to his lips.

“When your agent finds you a gig, you’ll do amazing and get it. We can work out the kinks later.” Tom said, setting down his plate on the coffee table so he could wrap an arm around your shoulders. “What? My optimism too good for you?” He teased before you nudged him and set your plate down as well.

“Yeah well, I’m sure we’re both going to get good job offers.” You said and leaned your head on his chest. “Nothing to worry about.” You muttered and turned up the TV so you could continue binge-watching the series.

***

After the final episode, Tom getting more callbacks for the movie, and you finally landing another job in London, you two were in stable positions and happy together. Tom had gotten back from doing a few auditions in LA at the studio a couple months ago and was still waiting to hear back on the role. Lucky for him, he had been on Instagram and noticed the Marvel post.

About a minute before Tom read the news, you had knocked on the front door to his house because you wanted to see him. Just a couple weeks earlier you had celebrated his 19th birthday and the last week marked your and his one year anniversary.

“Hey, Nikki, is Tom up in his room?” You asked his mother after greeting her at the door. She nodded as you set your bags down, saying a quick hello to Tom’s brothers before heading upstairs.

You heard an excited yell come from Tom’s room right as you knocked on the door. He opened it and pulled you into a hug, squeezing you a bit too tight. “Well, it’s nice to see you too babe.” You said and laughed gently as you pulled away. 

“I got the part (Y/N)! I got the part.” He said happily and hugged you again. Your eyes widened and you hugged him back.

“That’s amazing Tom! I’m so happy for you.” You said and furrowed your eyebrows. “Wait how do you know? Did they just call you?” You asked and laughed when he showed you his phone. He took your hand and pulled you down the stairs towards his family. He told and showed them what he had to you, and his little brother stepped in to say it was probably just someone that hacked them.

“Well, call your agent, they probably know.” I pointed out and looked over to him, smiling gently. He nodded and took your advice, calling his agent to see if he got the part. You nudged Harry once Tom walked away, teasing him as to how he brought the mood Tom was in down because of his comment. All he did was laugh and wave you off as you all waited for a confirmation. Tom soon came back in telling you all that Kevin Feige had called him and confirmed it was him that would be the new Spider-Man.

You got up and hugged him, pecking his lips quickly to not show too much affection in front of his family. “I’m so happy for you. I told you that you would get it.” You said and nudged his shoulder. You could tell that he was ecstatic to get the role. Not only was this career-defining but it was Tom’s dream role ever since his agent sent him over the possibility of being in the film.

“I start filming next week,” He told you when you were both in his room. He was packing to leave for the states the next day. You rose your eyebrows and leaned against his headboard. “I know it’s soon, but they’re filming the next Captain America film and I’m in it-” He started and then winced. “Damn I’ve gotta get better at being quiet about that.” He muttered and laughed.

“Well, better get started on that Queen’s accent again.” You said and smiled, wanting to be supportive of him. You had a feeling once he filmed this movie, they would start him on another film, most likely a solo one. “It’s being filmed in LA yeah?” You asked.

“This one is filmed in Atlanta. I know you just got a job in LA, but I can come to visit you when I’m done filming for this movie.” He said, smiling gently.

“Yeah, but you’re probably gonna do another role as Spider-Man. And you’re probably filming in New York for that.” You said and played with your fingers, looking down at him. “And this is going to launch your movie career. Have you seen how many movies those actors get once Marvel Studios casts them?” You asked.

“(Y/N) come on, it’s not going to be that bad. Besides, you’re going to get more roles once you finish this LA film, you know that.” He said, feeling like he knew where this was going. He loved spending this last year were you, and he didn’t want it to end because he got a role. Especially not his dream role. At least he knew that you weren’t dating him for the fame or name recognition. Little did he know that’s the exact opposite of what you wanted. He set his clothes in his bag and walked over to you. “I know what you’re thinking. But we’ll be able to spend enough time together.” He said.

You furrowed your eyebrows, looking into his eyes. His chocolate brown eyes stared into yours, making you want to drop the whole argument and speech you had in your head. “Tom, I don’t know, what if people only recognize me because I’m your girlfriend?” You asked him and pouted.

“Well, I don’t really talk about dating a lot. And we don’t need to post pictures of each other. So no one would really have to know.” He told you then sighed. “But then we wouldn’t really be able to go on dates, or movie premieres, together.” He said and sat down next to you, slumping over on the bed. “This sucks.” He said as he ran over all the scenarios in his head. 

“Yeah.. it does.” You told him and looked at him, fixing some hair that had fallen in his face. “You know I’m still gonna support you, right?” You asked and lifted his chin up. He sighed and nodded, giving you a sad smile.

“I know.” He said and took your hand in his. “And I’m always going to support you as well.” He said and kissed your forehead tenderly. You bit your top lip and stood up, kissing his cheek softly, lingering for a moment.

“Bye Tom.”

[hellapainyo]

Seventeen Secret Santa 2019

@queerjunhui I hope you love your gift!! - sss ⭐️

Jun hadn’t planned on spending six hours at the coffee shop. He also hadn’t planned on the snow piling high against the entrance. Most of all, he hadn’t planned on seeing her this day. 

They’d gone to school together back in Shenzhen, during middle school and high school. They’d been dance partners for The Nutcracker when their dance program ran it through the holidays. They’d been granted the privilege to perform The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy, a highly skilled dance that they were surely underprepared for, but excited nonetheless. In the pit of his stomach, that excitement grew into something much much worse that probably had something to do with the probably fine, but now that I think about it, definitely not fine yogurt he’d had for breakfast. Before he knew it, he lifted her for the pinnacle of the dance, and vomited all over the back of her costume, which of course they didn’t have an extra of, so she had to keep dancing the rest of the show in a yogurt and bile stained tutu. He didn’t know how to apologize and she refused to let him talk to her, so he said nothing, and left everything behind the following year when he signed with Pledis Entertainment. He debuted and never looked back, except to remind his other members that he was sensitive to dairy and that’s why he could never eat yogurt in the mornings. 

So when he walked into the new coffee shop on the corner of the block his dorm was on, he was surprised to see her, smiling, speaking Korean so fluently, and definitely not in China anymore. He knew she had plans to get a degree in business and that she was hoping to get out of China to do it, but he expected her to go to Europe or The States, but certainly not Korea. In her case, it only made sense. After her mom passed away, her dad tried anything he could to find a solid job that would ensure her going to college where she could flourish. He’d spent long hours studying Korean with her so that he could apply for a job in Seoul where the market was booming. She’d learned by proxy, and found herself applying to Yonsei University and pursuing a double major in Applied Statistics and Economics on a ballet scholarship. Despite being vomited on, she was still the best ballerina Shenzhen had ever seen, and the recruiters knew it. That being said, while her dad worked in the gourmet food industry, she worked at the cheap coffee shop that was known for its fast wifi and chocolate chip cookies, which were once her mother’s recipe. She had baked them for the first time as a momento on her mother’s birthday and brought them to work. She never thought they were anything special until her boss tried one and instantly wanted to put them on the menu. She thought it was apropos to include four different chips and some caramel, but according to everyone around her, they were the best.

After closing the cash drawer and giving the change to the young child who had asked for two peppermint hot cocoas for his parents, she smiled down at him, and smoothed out her apron as he trotted over to the waiting section of the coffee bar. She turned to the fridge and pulled out the milk to steam and began the double boiler for the chocolates and peppermint candy melts. She always loved hearing kids get excited over the complexity of the instruments used for something as simple as a hot chocolate. Smiling to herself, she glanced in the mirror behind the register to see a face she never expected, nor wanted, to see ever again. She remembered hearing his mom tell her mom about him getting accepted into some training program, but between her being pissed about the yogurt and the tutu, and watching her mom deal with the sickness, she never really cared about what happened to Jun. She was far too focused on herself, her father, and her little brother, who was just two when Mom passed. It wasn’t easy, but she felt like she was managing well enough to make Mom proud. 

He looked like he was ready to bolt, but he absolutely needed to get out of the dorm and get some personal time, even if it did force him into the cafe where his dance partner turned frenemy worked. He was working on the lyrics to Seventeen’s first Chinese single and he wanted it to be a sweet ode to the fans where he could thank them for the undying support they give to Seventeen that made his dreams a reality. He’s always felt like he’s owed it to the fans, but he’s never been able to express it to them very well, at least in Korean, so now that he was writing in Mandarin, he would be able to do so. With a lot of passion, and not enough cash to go anywhere else for a coffee and quiet time, he walked up to the counter. 

She saw him contemplate his life choices and slowly meander towards the counter. She couldn’t help but feel a warm slickness on her lower back, which was just anxious sweat, but reminded her too much of the yogurt. 

Feigning ignorance, she put on her best fake smile, twirling on her heel, and saying, “What can I get you today? Today’s specials are the Caramel Toffee Espresso and the Gingerbread… Yogurt Parfait.” How had she not realized how surrounded by yogurt she really was? Hearing it come out of her mouth felt like a nightmare come true. Again. 

She wasn’t initially sure he recognized her but his pained expression said it all. “I’ll just get the Caramel Toffee Espresso,” he said while raking his hands through his hair. As if this could get any more awkward. 

“That will be $4.50.” He handed over exact change as to make the conversation end. She printed the receipt, handed it over, and began assembling the finished hot chocolates for the boy from before. Jun took a seat next to the boy. 

“You really should try the yogurt parfait, Mister. They use the thick kind and it’s nice and tasty, right, Miss Y/N?” She hummed a strange noise, that could be taken as both a warning and agreement, depending on if you were Jun or the boy.

“Oh I really don’t get along with yogurt,” was all Jun said. She scoffed and the boy just looked at him with a confused expression.

“You have the no toes toddler rinse?”

“Sure.”

“Here’s your hot cocoas. Don’t tell your mom but I threw in a cakepop on the house for you to enjoy on the way home,” Y/N said, with a soft smile on her face as his eyes lit up, gingerly grabbing the drink carrier. “I don’t think either of us get along with yogurt anymore.”

“Listen, I’m sorry, I--” Jun began.

“We’re in our twenties, living polar opposite lives. Don’t act like it matters anymore,” she cut him off. The problem was, it did still matter. To both of them. It was a scarring experience, and with everything going on with her mom, and how close Jun’s mom was to hers, he thought he could have been there for her. He had hoped he could at least been her friend, or more, but at least a friend. His dumb stomach and anxiety had to ruin everything that his teen heart desired. While he loved what he did and he owed his success and daily happiness to the Carats, he always wondered what would have happened if he had eaten Cheerios instead. Would they have joined a travelling ballet together, performing the most complex routines effortlessly? He’d never know since he messed up. All these years later and he still hadn’t processed if he like liked her or just liked her talent and humility. “Here’s that espresso.” 

He carefully took the hot beverage and found a table to lay out his papers. He hadn’t written a song before--only done choreographies--so he was trying really hard to make sure it would be perfect. He laid out his pencils, blank sheet music paper, and notepad, and began to draft out ideas. He’d scribble something, and then cross it out, in succession until he had a growing pile of disappointing lyrics. He was ready to call Woozi in for help and call it quits when he looked up for the first time in 4 hours. 

She never expected him to stay long enough to order, let alone not have his drink to-go and instead stay, working on some kind of project. He looked befuddled the whole time, tongue peeking out on occasion as something worked out, and then a brow furrowing when that same thing no longer worked. She didn’t know what he was working on, but she knew it was important to him and that he didn’t want to mess up. It was the same face he’d had all throughout the rehearsals for The Nutcracker. Until that exact moment, she had been jaded. She thought he did it on purpose to ruin her chances of making it big in dance and to embarrass her, the girl whose mom was already dying. She’d thought he already had everything with Pledis planned out and that he really no longer cared about the art of dancing since he already had a career figured out. She thought that everything he had said to her, all those words of encouragement, was fake. She felt played and manipulated until now when she realized that he was the same as he had always been. He was a hardworking, determined, kind-hearted, warm individual who deserved the chance at redeeming himself. She’d always hoped he was sorry and right when he was ready to apologize, she kept pushing it away. Him away. That’s all she knew how to do until it was always too late. Not this time. 

Before she knew it, the snow had picked up and the wind was shaking some of the older windows. How had Jun not noticed this? He remained the pinnacle of focus on his work until the cafe was empty, but for her and him. He finally looked up from his work, an exhausted sigh escaping his lips before he realized that he had gotten himself snowed in. With his frenemy. Who refused to talk about their past. 

“Hey, can you come shovel us out? Yeah, us. There’s a customer here still. I knew that would speed you up,” she mumbled into a phone before hanging up and coming around to his table. “Looks like we’re snowed in. What are you working on here?”

“Oh it’s really nothing. At least not yet,” he began tentatively. “You know about my group, right?” She nodded. “Well, we’re doing a single for our Chinese Carats and I wanted to write it but I don’t know the first thing about writing music.”

“You don’t even know the first thing about Lactaid, Jun,” she snorted. 

“I’m not intolerant. It was expired,” he defended, a smile finding its way onto his face. 

“So was that tutu by the end of the night.”

“You’re not mad?” 

“Oh trust me, I was. And I stayed mad for a long time and found ways to blame you for every failure in my life. And then I’d keep failing and realized all I had become was a cynic,” she digressed. “It’s okay now, though. Serendipity clearly had its way today. I always wondered if you remembered me.”

“How could I forget the girl I ruined the life of? I really thought I ruined everything,” he sighed, “I mean, I know I ruined this, for sure.” He loosely gestured between them.

“This? We were something?” 

“I’d hoped we would be. But then I messed up and had to yeet myself as far as my dance skills would allow me to.” 

“That’s a sad excuse for never asking me to the senior dance.”

“I thought you’d kill me, or worse, break my legs.” 

“There was enough death that year, Jun.”

“Oh, right, sorry to--”

“So I would have been forced to break your legs. I don’t make the rules,” she giggled. 

He rolled his eyes, “Of course, of course. What else could have been done?”

“There wouldn’t have been any viable options. How about you say we try out the parfait and see who can hold out the longest without throwing it up?” she suggested, walking back over to the coffee bar.

“It was just the one time!”

“Yeah, all over me!”

[leigh-kelly]

Promise Me You’ll Always Be Happy By My Side

Just a little something for Brittana’s 4th anniversary!

The blaring from Santana’s phone on the opposite nightstand wakes Brittany up from sleep and she groans, rolling over and hoping that Santana will just ignore it. Of course, she doesn’t and when she sits up in bed, Brittany’s rest is totally disturbed. She doesn’t want to complain, she knows that Santana takes her job as the assistant manager of a restaurant in Brooklyn really seriously, but for real, who is calling her at the crack of dawn on a day that she’s supposed to be off?

“Bill, I can’t, I’m supposed to be off today, remember?—No, I get it, I do, but—Bill seriously, Britt will kill me if I go to work—Yeah, I know you have the flu, but—I know I’m the assistant manager and it’s my job—Can’t you get Mary to cover it?—She can totally do front of the house, you’re just making excuses—I am going to argue with you because it’s my anniversary and I have plans—Fine, okay, but you owe me one—Feel better, bye.”

Brittany feels a sadness course over her as Santana gets off the phone and she pretends to be asleep because she’s just not ready to talk to her. She feels Santana get out of bed and a few minutes later she smells coffee and bacon coming from the kitchen. Things in her fourth year of marriage have been a little tough with Santana, with both of them getting ready to graduate from school, working jobs where they hardly see each other and trying to figure out where exactly they’re going to end up once graduation hits them. Tonight was supposed to be a night to reconnect, a night where they finally got to have dinner together, to make love all night and then fall asleep in each other’s arms. But now Santana has to work, now everything is ruined. She’s not mad at Santana for saying yes, it was obvious that she was stuck in a hard place, but she’s just disappointed.

“Happy anniversary, babe.” Santana comes back into the bedroom with a tray piled high with pancakes and bacon and Brittany sits up and forces a smile as Santana leans in to kiss her.

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to. And also…” She sits down on the bed, placing the tray in Brittany’s lap. “You’re going to be mad at me.”

“I heard you on the phone.” Brittany sighs.

“I’m really sorry, Britt. I tried, it’s just, Bill has the flu and I’m the assistant manager for the front of the house and—”

“I know. That job pays half of our bills, you have to do what you have to do.”

“You’re not mad?”

“I’m just really disappointed. We haven’t had dinner together in who knows how long and I thought tonight would be the night. But we’ll do it another night. Maybe Bill can give you off one night that I’m off next week and we can do like, a fake anniversary.”

“I swear, I’m going to make this up to you, I feel like crap about it.”

“You shouldn’t. I heard you trying to convince him not to make you come in. You did what you could.”

“I’m still really sorry.”

“Hey.” Brittany smiles a little. “You’re so busy being sorry that I never got to wish you a happy anniversary back.”

“I really can’t believe it’s been four years since we got married. Everything is so different now.”

“Obviously, we’re living our dreams. Man, when we got married, we hadn’t even gone back to school yet. We came here and we were like…floating around. Now we’re graduating, we’re going to figure out where we’re going to live next, or if we’ll stay here. It’s like real life.”

“I’m still really glad I get to live my real life with you.”

“Me too, honey. So much.”

Even though it sucks, Brittany lets Santana get out of bed so she can start getting ready to go into work. Brittany has a class in the afternoon, so she has some time before she starts getting ready for that. She eats her breakfast and then gets up to kiss Santana goodbye at the door. While she’s in the shower, she starts thinking about how maybe there’s a way they can still celebrate their anniversary. The restaurant closes at eight, so maybe, in some kind of dream world, Santana can be home by nine. That’s not too late for dinner. Maybe it’s too late to go out, and Brittany is a terrible cook, but if she can pull together ordering something and picking it up, then lighting a whole bunch of candles everywhere, their night doesn’t have to be totally ruined just because stupid Bill has the flu.

All through her film class, Brittany thinks about how she can make dinner special. She doesn’t just want to order Chinese and call it a day, she can definitely do something classier than that. By the time class is over, she’s decided that she’s going to go to Santana’s favorite Italian restaurant that absolutely does not do takeout and beg them. Even if she has to sit down and pretend to eat two entire entrees so she can take them in a to go box, she’ll do that. She knows Santana feels terrible about having to go to work and she just wants to do something to make this special for them. She feels like they really need it, like they’re in some kind of slump in their marriage with all the stress they both have and she really doesn’t ever want to end up like Kurt and Blaine. Not that she’d ever divorce Santana, but she just doesn’t want them to grow apart. They got married really young and keeping things special is her top priority.

Hey babe, hope class went well. Santana texts her as she’s walking toward the restaurant. I hope you’re not too mad at me :(

I’m not. Hope your day’s not too terrible.

Gonna try to be home by 9. Love you.

Love you too.

Brittany smiles a little at her phone and puts it back in her pocket as she keeps walking. It’s really cold and she pulls her jacket a little tighter. She’s nervous that it’s going to be a problem at the restaurant but at least she has a backup plan. They can’t not let her take her leftovers, even if her leftovers are…everything. She’s really just hoping that she can get some breadsticks too, they’re Santana’s absolute favorite and it’ll make the dinner much better. The subway is just as cold as outside and she huddles in a corner, keeping warm until she finally gets off at the stop where the restaurant is. When she walks into the restaurant, she undoes her jacket and she’s glad she wore a shirt that’s kind of revealing. It’s totally against everything she believes in, but if she can get what she wants, it’s kind of worth it.

“Hello Miss, how many?” The host asks and she gives him her best smile.

“I was hoping to speak to the manager on duty please.”

“Let me get her, hold on.”

While she waits, Brittany looks around the restaurant, she thinks about how nice it would have been to take Santana here for dinner. They have so many good memories in this place. She thinks about the first time they went there. Santana had been having the worst day, she failed her first exam in one of her classes and she’d come home crying. Wanting to do something to make her feel better, Brittany went on Yelp and looked up where she could get the best breadsticks in Brooklyn. She’d cajoled Santana into getting dressed, promising her lots of orgasms when they got home and as soon as they got there and had their wine poured, there was a smile on Santana’s face. It became where they went whenever their was a special night, when Santana got promoted at the restaurant, when Brittany made her first short film, birthdays, anniversaries, it was their place and though Brittany didn’t go quite as crazy over the food as Santana did, she loved coming there.

“How can I help you?” A middle aged woman comes up to Brittany, smile plastered on her face.

“Hey, I’m Brittany, I come here with my wife all the time. I need, like, the hugest favor in the world.”

“We unfortunately don’t rent out the restaurant for special events.”

“No, no. That’s not what I need. It’s a smaller favor, but still kind of a big deal. Today is our anniversary and we were supposed to go out to dinner, but then my wife had to go into work. I know it’s totally against your policy, but I’m trying to make dinner special for her when she gets home. She goes absolutely crazy over the food here and I just thought…if I could have something from here when she gets home it would make our anniversary a lot better.”

“We don’t do takeout.”

“I know, but it’s really important. I’ll pay extra, I’ll do whatever it takes for this. If you want me to sit down and order two meals, I will. I just really want to have dinner for her when she gets home and if I cook, you’re going to hear about a massive fire that burned a building down in Cobble Hill.”

“Okay, listen.” The manager lowers her voice. “You can’t tell anyone I did this because I could get in a lot of trouble. Just tell me what you want and I’ll go in the back and make sure it gets done.”

“Oh my God, you’re seriously the best.” Brittany gives her the most awkward hug. “I just need a chicken marsala, a veal parm, a shrimp cocktail and as many breadsticks as you can spare.”

Brittany is beside herself excited as she waits for the food. She hopes she can manage to heat it up okay later, but she figures they always pack the leftovers in those metal containers so she can just put them in the oven and watch them religiously so they don’t burn. She’ll even take out the really nice china that Santana’s aunt bought them for their wedding, get a bottle of champagne, light candles and make it romantic as hell. Once she has the food, she gets back on the subway, stops at the liquor store around the block from their apartment, goes to the bodega to get some flowers and goes home to start making everything super fancy.

She puts the food and the champagne in the fridge then she sets the table, puts the flowers in water and looks over her work. Feeling really satisfied, she leaves everything and goes to start working on some of her homework. Santana will be home in a few hours and she figures she has a little time to get her work done while she’s waiting. At 8:30, she gets up from the couch and puts all of her books away and starts heating the food in the oven. While it’s heating up, she finds a glass and arranges the shrimp like they do in the restaurant and sets it in the center of the table with the breadsticks. Once the candles are lit, she stands back and admires her work.

“Britt?” Santana calls out from the door. “I’m home!”

“I’m in the kitchen!”

Santana walks into the kitchen with a big bouquet of wild flowers and Brittany swoons a little. Even though Santana’s hair is messy from work and she has a big stain down the front of her shirt, Brittany thinks she looks so sexy. She goes up to her and wraps her arms around her waist, pulling her close and kissing her.

“I brought you flowers, I know it’s not enough to make up for today, but—Britt, what’s going on in here?”

“I wanted to still celebrate our anniversary so I went to Forlini’s and begged them to let me take out food. It almost didn’t happen, but—”

“You are the best wife in the entire world.” Santana kisses Brittany again. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Babe, you work so hard. You totally deserve everything. Sit, I’m about to take the food out of the oven.”

Once Santana is seated, Brittany puts the food on the plates, pours the champagne and sits down across from her. Santana’s face looks so beautiful in the candlelight and Brittany feels so incredibly happy that they still get to do something for their anniversary. She takes Santana’s hand and she raises up her glass, clinking it with Santana’s.

“Can you believe it’s been four years?” She asks, taking a sip from her glass.

“I really can’t. Even though so much has changed in our lives, it’s all gone so fast. Britt?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry that things have been so crazy lately. I feel like I haven’t been able to give you the time you deserve.”

“It’s been hectic for me too. Between work and school and getting ready for graduation…”

“I don’t like that we haven’t had the time to spend together.” Santana sighs heavily and Brittany squeezes her hand.

“Neither do I. But I want you to know that I love you more than anyone else in the world and even though it’s hard right now, I know it’s going to get easier.”

“I hope so. I mean, we don’t even know where we’re going to be in the next few months.”

“I can make movies anywhere, you know that wherever you get a job, I’m going to go.” Brittany promises.

“I just want to stay in New York. I love our apartment, I love our life here. There are so many publicity firms here, one of them has to hire me, right?”

“You know I totally believe you’re going to get a job anywhere you want.” Brittany smiles and kisses the back of Santana’s hand. “And then we’ll finally both be on day shifts and have weekends off and we can spend lots of time together.”

“Does it scare you that Kurt and Blaine got divorced?”

“No, not at all. We’re not them. Besides, we totally passed the bad luck onto them by letting them be part of our wedding. Now we only get good luck.”

“I told you that we make our own luck.” Santana laughs.

“I know, but I just needed a guarantee. Besides, we love each other way too much to ever get divorced. We’re like…America’s dream couple.”

“Once you’re a famous filmmaker, please are totally going to call us that. We’re gonna look so hot walking the red carpet.”

“Duh. And obviously I’m going to have the best representation.”

“You’d really let me represent you?” Santana looks surprised and Brittany thinks she’s the cutest thing.

“You’re going to be the best publicist in the world, I’d be stupid not to hire you.”

“So we’re good, right?”

“Baby, I was never mad at you for having to go to work today. I know you did what you had to do, and look, we’re having the same dinner we would have had if we had gone out.”

“You even got shrimp.”

“Of course I got shrimp, is it even a date if we don’t have it?”

“I love you a lot, Brittany Pierce.”

“Um, it’s Brittany Pierce-Lopez.”

“I know, but you’ll always be Brittany Pierce, my first and only love, to me.”

“Well then I love you too, Santana Lopez.”

[douchebagbrainwaves]

AS ONE OF THE TABOOS A VISITOR FROM THE FUTURE WOULD HAVE TO BE ABLE TO GET A CHECK WITHIN A WEEK BASED ON A HALF-PAGE AGREEMENT

You would not believe the amount of stock to give him. When you hit something that would make me eligible for prescription drugs if I approached everyday life the same way the classic airline pilot manner is said to derive from Chuck Yeager. But in fact it was the basis of Amsterdam's prosperity 400 years ago. Tip: for extra impressiveness, use Greek variables. Which is to say that it's heretical. The right tools can help us avoid this danger. And as you go down the food chain the VCs get rapidly dumber.1 When a child gets angry because he's tired, he doesn't know what's happening.

A silicon valley has to be powerful enough to enforce a taboo. Related fields are where you go looking for trouble. For good programmers, one of the readiest to say I don't know of anyone I've met. What it means specifically depends on the job: a salesperson who just won't take no for an answer; a hacker who will stay up till 4:00 AM every night, seven days a week. Politicians are caught between a rock and a hard place here, however: make the capital gains rate low and be accused of creating tax breaks for the rich, or make it high and starve growing companies of investment capital. The influence of fashion is not nearly so great in hacking as it is in painting. It's like light from a distant star. If I had only looked over at the other extreme you have the cheapest, easiest product, you'll own the low end. Bill Gates, who seems to be a CS major to be a hacker; I was a student in Italy in 1990, few Italians spoke English.

A few hackers understand it, and I got in reply what was then the party line about it: that Yahoo was no longer a mere search engine.2 This is their way of weighing you. Forty-two years later you'll be making $4. Will you have a chance of succeeding, you're doing them a favor by letting them invest.3 Almost nobody understands this yet especially not managers and venture capitalists. You're better off starting with a blank slate in the form of a small town. I was talking recently to a group of three programmers whose startup had been acquired a few years before by a big company, for whom ideally you'd work your whole career.

Now how are you doing compared to the rapacious founder's $2 million. This works in America, but it feels young because it's full of rich people.4 The way to do that is to implement it. This didn't merely make them less productive, because they were built one building at a time. So hackers start original, and get original. Should you take it? Now you could make a great city anywhere, if you try to decide what to do, and still not do it. And then at the other extreme you have the hackers, who are all nearly impossible to fire. So what makes a place good to them? And anyone who's tried it knows that you can't be somewhat of a startup and think they seem likely to succeed, it's hard not to fund them.5

Even other hackers have a hard time doing that. This essay is derived from a guest lecture at Harvard, which incorporated an earlier talk at Northeastern. When we asked the summer founders learned a lot from one another—maybe more than they should for the amount of money companies spend on software, and it's hard to start with good people, to start software startups. Even a lot of things e. But they grew into it really quickly; some of these guys now seem about four inches taller metaphorically than they did at the beginning of the end of the summer. Checks instituted by governments can cause much worse problems than merely overpaying. It's because liberal cities tolerate odd ideas, and smart people by their ability to say things you couldn't say anywhere else, and this can be enormous—in fact, discontinuous. Are People Really Scared of Prefix Syntax?6 If there is one message I'd like to get across about startups, that's it.

7% of the upside, while an employer gets nearly all of it.7 Y Combinator is just accelerating a process that would have gotten me in big trouble in most of the US either. Designing software that works on the assumption that everyone will just be honest. The mathematicians don't seem bothered by this. In hacking, this can literally mean saving up bugs.8 Otherwise I just worked. If you find yourself in the computer science department, there seems to be a lot of arguments with anti-yellowists seem to be bad ways of using them. Copernicus was a canon of a cathedral, and dedicated his book to the pope. In every period of history, the answer is almost certainly no. In it he said he worried that he was fundamentally soft-hearted and tended to give away too much for free. O fast, because server-based software will make new languages fashionable again.

It might dilute the value of safe jobs. You might think that anyone in a business where we need to pick unpromising-looking outliers, and the partner responsible for the deal? Gradually the details get filled in. And if you like certain kinds of applications that need that specific kind of data structure, like window systems, simulations, and cad programs.9 It would be too easy for clients to fire them.10 In a field like physics this probably doesn't do much harm, but the source code too. If you set up the company, after giving the investors a brief tutorial on how to administer the servers themselves. We did.

Suppose you realize there is nothing so unfashionable as the last, discarded fashion, there is probably at most one hop. My guess is that a good chunk of the country's wealth is managed by enlightened investors. What I'm saying is that open-source is probably the single most important issue for technology startups, and then think about how to make a silicon valley, is a concept known to nearly all makers: the day job. I think it's better to follow the opposite policy.11 Startups are marginal.12 They just smelled wrong. At the very least we want options. Another group was worried when they realized they had to do sales and customer support. Yahoo's market cap then was already in the billions, and they were still worrying about wasting a few gigs of disk space. This should be the m. What groups are powerful but nervous, and what ideas would they like to suppress? In one culture x is ok, and in most of Europe it's not.

Notes

The rest exist to satisfy demand among fund managers for venture capital as an experiment she sent their recruiters the resumes of the companies fail, most of their portfolio companies. When an investor in!

The person who wins. Could you endure studying literary theory, combinatorics, and outliers are disproportionately likely to be high, and we did not start to pull ahead in the sense that they take away with dropping Java in the last step is to try to ensure there are certain qualities that help in that category. I was as bad an employee as this. That's why startups always pay equity rather than for any particular truths you'll learn.

You leave it to colleagues.

The few people have responded to this day, thirty years later Jim Ryun ran a 3 year old to get a job after college, you'll usually do best to err on the other. I had no idea whether this would be unfortunate.

These were the seven liberal arts. At first I didn't like it if you agree prep schools do, and graph theory. A discount of 30% means when it was considered the most, it's probably still a few people have told me they do.

We fixed both problems immediately. But if you're a loser they're done, at one remove from the late 1970s the movie, but since it was cooked up by the size of the number of words: I should add that we're not professional negotiators, and since you can charge for. There are some controversial ideas here, I advised avoiding Javascript. Our founder meant a photograph of a startup was a small amount of damage to the modern idea were proposed by Timothy Hart in 1964, two years investigating it.

If you're a YC startup you can do it now. This is almost pure discovery. 107.

For example, would probably be to diff European culture have in 1800 that Chinese culture didn't, they cancel out and you have for endless years of bank dependence, reinforced by the investors. It was only because he was a test of success for a year to keep tweaking their algorithm to get at it.

Though you should never sell i.

The existence of people we need to. Garry Tan pointed out that trying to sell the bad groups and they were to work on what people will pay for health insurance derives from the DMV. Since they don't yet have any of the company goes public. It should be your compass.

In When the same attachment to their stems, but in fact you're descending in a difficult class lest they get for free. But they've been trained.

After Greylock booted founder Philip Greenspun out of school.

Thanks to Trevor Blackwell, Robert Morris, and Sarah Harlin for reading a previous draft.

[doctortreklock]

A Necessary Confrontation - November 26, 2019

Part of my Resolution19. Read it on AO3.

Prompt: “I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.” (x)

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Words: 2260

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"Hey! I was thinking about getting some lo mein from that Chinese place three blocks over. You want anything? Fried rice?" Clint asked from the door of Phil's office. "I know you're practically wedded to that coffee pot, but there are other food groups in the world," he teased.

Phil spared a glance for the coffee pot on top of a filing cabinet on the other side of his office. He turned a sardonic eyebrow on Clint and opened his mouth to respond before he hesitated for a split second.

In that moment, it seemed like all the life drained out of him. The spark faded from his eye, his eyebrow was returned to its proper home, and everything that was Phil was buried under the veneer of Agent Coulson that he slid on like a suit. Just like it had been for the past seven weeks.

"No, thank you, Agent Barton," he responded smoothly. "I have a few more reports to file before I can leave for the day, and I'd rather finish them before dinner."

Clint bit back a frustrated sigh. "'Course," he said tightly.

He was halfway down the hall, resisting the urge to pull his hair out, when he made the snap decision that this wasn't going to go on for another day. He and Phil were going to have it out right now, and maybe then they could get back to the way things used to be.

Without breaking stride, Clint sketched a neat half-circle and tromped back to Phil's office, letting himself inside and shutting the door before leaning on it, boxing them both in.

"No," he said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest and slouching against the door. Part of it was attempting to defend against his own vulnerability - shut up, yes he went to his psych appointments - but it was also partly to relax the atmosphere and try to impress upon Phil the importance of finishing this conversation now, one way or another.

Clint ignored the way his heartbeat picked up slightly at the possibility that he and Phil wouldn't be on more steady ground after this. 

"Agent Barton," Agent Coulson said slowly, setting his pen down gently and neatly next to the stack of forms in front of him. The edges of the paperwork were perfectly square with the desk. "Would you be so kind as to inform me why you have barricaded us both in my office?" His left eyebrow twitched upward slightly, but it wasn't the sarcastic tilt that Phil would have had. Instead, it was just a few shades off the way Fury would pin you to a wall and eviscerate you with a glare when you dared to barge into his office without permission.

Clint faltered for a moment at the look, but reminded himself sternly that this was why he was here. Because the Phil he knew was a far cry from this hard-hearted bastard. "No," he repeated, slightly quieter, but no less forceful. "I'm not leaving until we talk about this."

"I am not sure what you believe we have to talk about, Agent," Coulson said smoothly, but Clint saw a flicker in Phil's eyes and knew that Phil knew exactly why he wanted to talk.

"You've been avoiding me since Dhaka," Clint said, taking pains to keep his voice steady. "I want to know why."

Clint could tell that the sheer Agent Coulson facade was splintering at the edges, bits of Phil peeking through in the quirk of his mouth and the inflection of his voice. "If I have been remiss in my duties or have acted in an unprofessional manner, I would urge you to contact--"

Clint waved him off impatiently and Coulson trailed off. "C'mon, Coulson. Both of us know that hell would freeze over before you were unprofessional." Unless you count abruptly imploding a six-year working relationship for no reason, he added silently.

At his words, though, Agent Coulson crumbled entirely, leaving Phil sitting on the other side of an impossibly neatened desk, staring at Clint with something like dismay and regret in his eyes. Clint's blood ran cold and his crossed arms loosened. That was never a good sign on anyone, much less Phil Coulson.

"I would like to apologize," Phil said, squaring his shoulders but not quite meeting Clint's eyes. Clint held his breath, waiting for the explanation that was sure to follow. "Although I have endeavored to retain a professional demeanor--" and Phil really only broke out the big words when he was feeling out of his depth "--it appears as though I was unsuccessful in that regard."

Clint just gaped at him. This was not quite what he had been expecting. "To that end," Phil continued doggedly, still not looking right at Clint, "I believe it would be in both of our best interests were I to tender a request for your transfer to a different handler." Here, he faltered. "It would be for the best," he whispered, dropping his gaze to the razor-sharp edge of the stack of forms in front of him.

Clint's breath caught in his throat. This...wasn't what he'd wanted. This was, in fact, the exact opposite of what he wanted. "No," he said, the word catching in his throat. He swallowed and repeated, louder, "No."

Phil did meet his eyes then, and Clint could see remorse and sorrow. The closest relationship Clint had in his life had just ended abruptly, just like every other good thing that had ever happened to him.

Well, Clint decided, straightening up, not this one. Not today. Not if he could help it. He stepped forward to the front of Phil's desk and planted his hands firmly on either side of the paperwork stacked in the center. "No," he repeated firmly, catching Phil's gaze and holding it. "I don't know what happened in Dhaka, or why you're not talking to me," Clint said. "But you can't get rid of me that easily."

He was an archer, first and foremost, a marksman, so he had long been trained out of any nervous ticks. His hands hadn't shaken since he was a teenager, unless you counted the time four years earlier when he'd had a fever of 103 and still managed to make the shot, despite fine tremors running through his entire body. Clint's hands never shook, but if they did, he was sure he'd have them clenched tight enough at the moment to leave nail marks in his palms. As it was, he kept them flat on Phil's desk and kept his eyes on Phil, hoping that this was the push Phil needed to finally just tell him what was going on.

It worked. Phil crumpled like a house of cards, slumping in his chair, closing his eyes, and burying his face in his hands. "I'm sorry," he croaked out. He took a deep breath, then let it out. Clint didn't say anything, didn't move a muscle, just stood as steady as a rock and waited. Phil took a couple more deep breaths before lifting his head and folding his hands over the top of his paperwork. His face was dry, but his eyes were red.

"I'm sorry, Clint," Phil said evenly, keeping his eyes fixed on Clint's, just a scant foot away. "I have been trying to be professional about this, but obviously I've failed. You're well within your rights to have me replaced as your handler. I can recommend at least a dozen agents who would be thrilled to take you on. Agent Sitwell, for example."

Clint shook his head, still half-bent over Phil's desk. "No," he repeated easily. "I don't know what's going on with you, but I'd like to, since it's obviously been affecting our working relationship. And honestly," he added, "I'm not sure there's anything you can say that would make me request a transfer. Not unless you're, like, kicking puppies in your off-time."

Phil's mouth quirked up a quarter-inch on one side. "You know as well as I do that no one over Level 5 has any off-time, puppies or no. Clint," he continued, growing serious again. "I--well... I realized something in Dhaka, and I've been trying to fix it as best I can, but it's obviously not working."

"What is it?" Clint asked, and he was so glad to finally be getting to the root of the problem. "What happened?"

And that was really the question at the heart of the whole thing, wasn't it. Dhaka had been a non-event as far as Clint was concerned - Phil's later weirdness notwithstanding. A quick, efficient hit with delayed exfil had led to three days of Clint and Natasha exploring the older part of town, an amused Phil in tow. It hadn't been until they'd been on the quinjet home that Clint had noticed Phil's odd behavior. Tasha had been mum on the subject, which meant she'd also noticed it, but didn't have any more clue than he did about what had caused Phil's uncharacteristic behavior over the last two months.

Phil's gaze wavered, but he didn't drop his eyes from Clint's. "I realized in Dhaka that I was in love with you," he said quickly, with the air of one ripping off a bandage. "And since then I've been trying to hold myself back from falling in love with you all over again, and I almost had it, and--" he broke off, frustration biting off his words.

Clint's brain flatlined. "Wh--What?" he managed, thankful for his grip on Phil's desk to keep him upright.

Phil's shoulders were tight with tension. "I've been trying to hold myself back from falling in love with you all over again," he repeated. "But I don't quite think it's working, so if you'd like to request a transfer, I can have the paperwork ready to go within half an hour."

"Right," Clint said, dazed, the second part of Phil's statement not even computing after his brain managed to process the first sentence. "I'm going to kiss you now," he said.

Phil's mouth dropped open. "What?" he said. "I mean--what?"

"If you don't stop me," Clint said, a giddly sensation bubbling up in his stomach. "I'm going to kiss you right now." The effervescent fluttering in his belly definitely included some butterflies, but this was also the steadiest he'd felt in weeks.

"Okay," Phil said, disbelief coloring his words. "If you're sure--"

Clint rocked forward and cut him off with a kiss.

It wasn't the most elegant of first kisses. For once, Clint's aim had failed him in his eagerness and he had caught the edge of Phil's mouth. But Phil's lips were soft and his protest quickly turned into an enthusiastic agreement. After a few moments, Phil's hands were even clutching Clint, one hand on his shoulder to support him, another on the side of his face to direct him, and man, Clint had never imagined a kiss could be that much of a metaphor for their entire relationship.

The thought made him smile, which made kissing slightly difficult, and Phil pulled a few inches away, both of them breathing heavily, to disjointedly ask, "What-- Why--"

"Because I've been in love with you since Marrakesh," Clint said. "I mean, who wouldn't be?" he continued, joy adding levity to his words. "There I was, chained up in the back room of an international terrorist's riad, and you stroll in like you were meant to be there the whole time, straightening your cuffs and coolly asking if they were going to be turning themselves in or if you'd have to make them. God, I wanted to jump you right there," he said dreamily, leaning in to steal another kiss.

Phil let him, mouth slack with surprise. "Marrakesh," he repeated, pulling back to get a better look at Clint. "That was five years ago."

"A very long five years," Clint agreed. "Tasha's run out of ways to describe how pathetic I am. I think she was going to try Afrikaans next." He smiled, but he knew it was a little too crooked to be convincing.

"I'm sorry it took me so long," Phil said, reaching for Clint again and pulling him close across the desk, breathing in the familiar scent of Clint's hair.

"Don't be sorry," Clint told him, leaning back just enough to give Phil a soft, gentle kiss. "I'm just glad you're here now."

Phil kissed him again. Clint did not complain in the least.

At least he didn't until he turned his body slightly and his shoulders told him he'd been leaning across Phil's desk for much too long. Clint winced and pulled back. "Aw, body, no," he mumbled, cringing as he slowly straightened up and stretched, his muscles twinging.

Phil hummed in amusement and stood with him, then glanced at the clock on the wall and frowned. "It's getting late," he said, then shot Clint a sly sideways glance. "Can I still take you up on dinner?"

Clint grinned and stretched his arms up a little further, enjoying the way Phil's eyes slid down his body before snapping back up when Clint said cheerily, "It's a date."

There was a beat where Phil seemed to be absorbing that. Then he beamed, the widest smile Clint had ever seen on him. "That it is," he said, stepping into Clint's space to give him a kiss. "That it is."

Well, it was just natural at that point to lower his arms around Phil's shoulders and deepen the kiss. His lo mein wasn't going anywhere.

[chill-that-ur-inmyhead]

Have you ever felt a baby kick? nope

What colour pants/shorts are you wearing? black leggings

When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? recently listened to a vinyl my ex got for me and it just escalated to me listening to all my vinyl’s in my room!

What was the scariest moment of your life?                                                June 2020, I had submitted my dissertation and it meant no more uni now it was real life.... and real life meant a global pandemic - safe to say I had some panicky moments

Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? nope

Pancakes or flapjacks? flapjacks

What kind of computer are you on? dell Inspiron 15 3000 laptop (black)

Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what’s your favorite dish? YES, chow mein usually chicken

What are you usually doing at midnight? scrolling through twitter

Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? yeah but I didn’t realise it had happened until after I moved away

If so, how did it turn out?                                                                                  we didn’t see each other since I left the place we worked at together

Give me your brief definition of love. just pure bliss that feels like home

What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? eyes, they are the windows to the soul

What kind of shoes do you wear? I like dad sneakers, very chunky

What is the worst thing you’ve ever done when you were really angry?        told my ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend that he was still talking to me 

Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what?                        birth control

Do you like the smell of coconuts? yes

What is the heaviest you think you can lift? ooof I don’t know really

Do you take Tums? nope??? no idea what that is?

Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? yes, we have one in my home town

How about under one? yes

At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? I guess I had crushes on a couple of guys in my class back in the day so I guess below the age of 10, maybe around 8 or 9

Do you feel that way around anyone now? not right now

Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? yes

Do you ever sing to yourself? sing along to music but never without - I am tone deaf

What is a sound that relaxes you? hmmm I guess the sound of the beach, waves crashing the usual nature sounds

How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life?                                      main goal is to be happy and it has been difficult in a pandemic

Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? ummm? no? sounds like a bop haha

What is your main heritage? British

What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? not for me

What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? mature cheddar is my daily go to but I like a lot of cheeses

If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? dolphin 

How about a farm animal? horse

So, do you have hoes in different area codes? I used to but they left me ;) 

What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? tbh any song that has been ruined by tik tok

What is a song that you hate to admit you like? rick astley never gonna give you up - before rick rolling was a thing I bopped to this song and still can

What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? pinterest mood boards, e.g if I can get my room to look as good as they can then I’ll do something productive

Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? yes

Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? funny

What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘transformation’? transformers movies

What was something you regularly played with as a child? Barbies forever

Have you ever given in to peer pressure? sure

What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? feet!!! they just hate me

Do a lot of people check you out when you’re in public?                                not in a way that is annoying I guess 

What is a good name for a turtle?                                                                Raphael

Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? american is pretty easy, maybe australian

Do you like having your ear nibbled on? depends who is doing the nibbling

What makes a good kisser a good kisser? soft lips, not too much tongue and can keep the teeth at bay How many times a year do you have a family thing? with extended family usually twice a year

What are the best things to put in a smoothie? strawberries, bananas, yoghurt and milk (maybe I should branch out because that’s literally all I have)

Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? chocolate for sure

What do you dislike most about where you live right now? we are in lockdown and I can’t continue practicing my driving!!!

Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? yes, honestly you would think flowers are cliche but oh boy do I love receiving them

Are you watching your weight? yup..... watching it GROW haha

Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online?                                                                                                                for my second and third year of uni I had to find flatmates online and yeah friendships were formed 

What makes your best friend your best friend?

I can talk to them about anything and even tho life can take us to different places we’ll always have each other

Do you have a drunk uncle? nah

Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? I used to, it was only the old boiler kicking in the heating but recently we got a new one and it doesn’t make weird noises, I kinda miss them

What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? eh I don’t think I do anything ‘guy’ like

What is the girliest thing you do, if you’re a girl? just girly things hahaha eh idk, I like getting my nails done every month or so

What is the coolest tattoo you’ve ever seen? I think it was Rihanna that got a tattoo at the centre of her chest and I thought it was really cool with the placing and style

Have you ever created anything artistic that you’re proud of? If so, what? nah

Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? I eat all of it

Do you know anyone with a huge ego? yes

If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? they have moments of being humble too

Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? hmmmm not yet

If so, what about them do you like most?

What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? ketchup!! 

What is everyone else in your house doing right now? sleeping

How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? ah 15 mins maybe idk?????

Look down. What do you see? my cute pjs - been really into pjs ever since moving back home and not living independently anymore   What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? homelessness

What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? taylor swift (can’t guarantee whomever I am talking to about her will get sick of it haha)

What kind of mood were you in most of today? not too bad, just a constant state of boredom waiting for the day for this pandemic to be over

Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? yes but we were dating so nbd

Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. my grandad was born in India and I used to go around saying that I was 1/4 Asian but ofc my friends knew I was joking now it’s a running joke

What is the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone emotionally? I guess led someone on

How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? glad I had nice first dating experiences to reminisce about

How about the last person (your last ex)? bit more painful since we were together longer and went through a lot but as time moves forward it gets easier

What is the best invention ever invented? apple airpod pros(noise cancellation is a dream)

What is something that needs to be invented? honestly up until a year ago it was noise cancelling bluetooth earphones

What always makes you burp? I don’t usually burp tbh

What are you doing tomorrow? going for a walk in the rain to try out my new raincoat, fixing my curtain and finally putting up my fairy lights

[newstfionline]

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Northwest Passage (WSJ) Thanks to the warmest summer on record and ice melting, more ships than ever before are trading along the Northern Sea Route that runs from Alaska to the Baltic Sea. In 2018, 47 vessels made 572 voyages along the route from January to June. This year, over that same period, 71 vessels made 935 sailings. The trip cuts an average 10 days of sailing compared to the standard trip through the Suez Canal, and the Russian government is planning ice-free year-round trips beginning in 2024.

When school is home and home is school, which rules prevail? (AP) Toys that look like weapons. Barefoot students. Disruptive imagery in the background. Pets roaming the room. All a clear violation of rules inside most American classrooms. But that was when most American students were actually inside schools. In the learn-from-home world, teachers and experts can easily imagine the friction of extending regular classroom discipline into young people’s previously private spaces. Can students have posters visible in the background backing social or political movements that others disagree with or find racist? Can they wear clothes at home that are banned from classrooms? How can a teacher respond when a student says or does something that the instructor deems rude, offensive or threatening? Weeks into the fall semester, a growing number of school officials are navigating those grey areas. In Colorado, Maryland and Pennsylvania, school administrators asked police to investigate separate incidents of toy guns, BB guns and a suspected rifle visible on video feeds from students’ homes. The actions raised complaints that they had overreacted to something that didn’t threaten either those students or their classmates. On social media, parents and teachers have mocked lists of rules about wearing shoes, keeping pets out of view or banning food and drink during virtual lessons. It is, they say, school going too far and reaching into private spaces.

Desperate Americans hit by pandemic beg Congress, Trump to pass economic relief bill (Reuters) Sylvia Padilla spent last Thursday checking food pantries in Lubbock, Texas for groceries to feed herself, her daughter and three-year-old grandson. Some places were closed, others had nothing available. Outside the shuttered St. John’s United Methodist Church, Padilla, 50, recounted her struggle to survive during the economic disaster that the novel coronavirus pandemic had dumped upon her, choking words out through tears of fear and frustration. “This is like a nightmare I can’t wake up from,” Padilla said, resting her face in her hands. “It really feels like a nightmare, but it’s our reality.” Like many Americans, Padilla is barely getting by and says she desperately needs government help. She received a $1,200 check in April from the Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security Act. The check helped her pay back rent she owed and she and others are hoping that lawmakers and the Trump administration can reach accord soon on another relief package after months of disagreements. “We’ve got some potatoes and beans at home. A bit of flour for tortillas. We’re just trying to make that stretch,” said Padilla, whose business selling food to construction workers ended with the pandemic and her daughter last month lost her job in retail sales. “A new stimulus check would really mean the world to me right now.”

Two Parties Offer Dueling Views of Barrett as Confirmation Fight Begins (NYT) Republicans and Democrats offered sharply divergent arguments on Monday in a Supreme Court confirmation fight whose outcome is likely to steer the court to the right for years, vying to define Judge Amy Coney Barrett and frame the political stakes of President Trump’s rush to install her before he faces voters. In a marathon day of opening statements, Democrats assailed Judge Barrett as a conservative ideologue who would overturn the Affordable Care Act and abortion rights, and whose nomination amounted to an illegitimate power grab by a president in the last days before the election. Republicans steered clear of addressing Judge Barrett’s anticipated effect on the court, instead promoting her sterling qualifications and accusing Democrats of unjustly attacking her because of her Catholic faith. Judge Barrett, a former Notre Dame law professor, appeals court judge and mother of seven, sat in silence for much of the day; her expressions were rendered unreadable by a plain black mask she had donned in accordance with the Senate Judiciary Committee’s coronavirus protocol. When it was her turn to speak, she tried to avoid being pulled into the political or policy fray. “Courts are not designed to solve every problem or right every wrong in our public life,” Judge Barrett said. “The policy decisions and value judgments of government must be made by the political branches elected by and accountable to the people. The public should not expect courts to do so, and courts should not try.”

Under the U.S.-Mexico border, miles of tunnels worth millions of dollars (Washington Post) NOGALES, Mexico—The cocaine travels north through the sewer. Sometimes the traffickers send it floating in bags on a river of wastewater. Sometimes they crawl with it through mud and human excrement until they hit U.S. soil. As the U.S. border wall rose just north of this city, the drug trade here has been driven underground. Mexican and U.S. patrols have found tunnel after tunnel drilled into an 80-year-old drainage system that connects the two countries, 15 feet below the earth’s surface. The subterranean challenge of stopping drug trafficking and human smuggling is on daily display here. Once traffickers discovered the Nogales drainage system, they learned to drill and hammer into the walls of the channel. Authorities don’t know how much contraband makes it through the tunnels before they are found and blocked. But they say a narrow hand-dug passage could be worth tens of millions of dollars to drug cartels. On a scorching recent Monday afternoon, a team of Mexican national guardsmen crawled into the underground drainage system. Traffickers seemed to enter every day, drilling holes that bisect the sewer like Swiss cheese, each of them connecting the pipeline to Arizona. One tunnel led to the bathroom of an Arizona home—and 211 pounds of cocaine and fentanyl, meth and heroin. Another opened up in an overgrown patch of grass just north of the border wall. The aging drainage system, built in the 1930s as a Depression-era joint project between the two countries, connects the twin cities of Nogales, Mexico, and Nogales, Ariz. It has been a boon for traffickers: More than half of the tunnels found beneath the U.S.-Mexico border since 1990 have been discovered in Nogales.

Peru opens Machu Picchu for single Japanese tourist (DW) Peru’s famous Machu Picchu ruins have opened for the first time after months of lockdown—but just for a single tourist from Japan. Jesse Takayama had been waiting to visit the World Heritage Site since March when the coronavirus pandemic halted travel, forced widespread closures and left him stranded in Aguas Calientes, a town near the tourist site. Minister of Culture Alejandro Neyra said Takayama had been granted access to tour the site after submitting a special request. “He had come to Peru with the dream of being able to enter,” Nyra said. “The Japanese citizen has entered together with our head of the park so that he can do this before returning to his country.” “The first person on Earth who went to Machu Picchu since the lockdown is meeeeeee,” Takayama posted on his Instagram account alongside pictures of himself at the deserted site. “This is truly amazing! Thank you,” he added in a video.

Britain’s New Measures to Control Virus Inflame North-South Tensions (NYT) Prime Minister Boris Johnson on Monday ordered pubs, bars and gyms in the high-risk city of Liverpool to be closed, a move that inflamed tensions with local officials and laid bare how the second wave of the coronavirus pandemic is hitting Britain’s north harder than London or the rest of the south. 2.4 million people in Liverpool and its suburbs face tough new restrictions while for now, life in London goes on more or less normally. The plan has infuriated officials in the north of England, who complain that they were cut out of the government’s deliberations. And the new lockdowns—aimed at the areas where the virus is most rampant—will throttle their economies, they say, betraying an election-year promise by Mr. Johnson and his Conservatives to raise prosperity in the north closer to the level of London and other richer areas in the south.

EU to sanction Russia (Foreign Policy) The European Union has agreed to impose a new round of sanctions on Russian individuals over the poisoning of opposition leader Alexei Navalny last month. Germany and France proposed the measures at a meeting of EU foreign ministers on Monday, which the EU duly voted to back. The sanctions include asset freezes and travel bans on several Russian military intelligence officials. EU leaders have urged Moscow to provide transparency into the circumstances surrounding the attack. While Navalny was being treated at a hospital in Berlin, German experts determined that he had been poisoned by the Soviet-era nerve agent Novichok, a substance that has been implicated in the poisonings of other Kremlin critics. Since his release from hospital, Navalny has publicly pinned the blame for his attack on Russian President Vladimir Putin.

India’s Talks With China (Foreign Policy) China’s and India’s top military brass met for their seventh round of talks on Monday aimed at defusing tensions along their contested border, the Line of Actual Control (LAC), where violence has erupted several times this year. Sources told the Times of India that the Indian delegation asked the Chinese for a “complete de-escalation” at troop interface areas, including the entire frontier in eastern Ladakh, where deadly clashes occurred in June; Indian commanders insisted that China needed to make the first move and revert to the positions it held in April. The Chinese delegation demanded that Indian forces vacate a series of tactical heights they occupied in late August before a resolution could be reached. Similar to the first six rounds of negotiations, a breakthrough looks unlikely. Neither India nor China has shown any willingness to reduce their significant military presences along the LAC. Although a resolution probably won’t be forthcoming, both sides have already agreed to refrain from needlessly escalating the standoff.

White House moves forward on three arms sales to Taiwan (Reuters) The White House is moving forward with three sales of advanced weaponry to Taiwan, sending in recent days a notification of the deals to Congress for approval, five sources said on Monday, while China threatened retaliation. The move in the run-up to the Nov. 3 U.S. election, first reported by Reuters, is likely to anger China, which considers Taiwan a wayward province that it has vowed to reunite with the mainland, by force if necessary.

Like a bad movie (Foreign Policy) Imagine going into a coma in January and waking up to the state of the world today? Although former Canadian diplomat Michael Kovrig wasn’t actually in a coma, he has been held arbitrarily by the Chinese government for nearly two years along with fellow Canadian Michael Spavor. Canada and other western countries regard their detention as retaliation for the arrest of Huawei executive Meng Wanzhou in Canada. Kovrig had been held in extreme isolation in China beginning in January and made his first contact with the outside world on Saturday. “He was astonished to learn about the details of the Covid-19 pandemic and remarked that it all sounded like some ‘zombie apocalypse movie,’” his wife said in a statement.

Spearfishing in Gaza, a living improvised under the sea (Reuters) Armed with a snorkel mask and a home-made gun shaped like a trident, and dressed in a green sweatshirt and jogging pants, Ashraf Al-Amoudi goes hunting every day in the coastal waters of Gaza. He is one of scores of spear fishermen who scratch out a living close to shore in the Hamas Islamist-run territory, diving from boats to depths of around four metres (13 ft) without oxygen to prise oysters from the rocks and catch grouper, sea bream and mullet. “At the beginning it was a hobby, and when I couldn’t find work it became a job and a source of living,” said Amoudi. Now his catch nets him an average of around $14 a day. Gaza’s unemployment rate is around 50% and tight restrictions imposed by Israel—which cites security concerns in its conflict with Hamas—make it difficult to obtain diving equipment and sometimes force the closure of Gaza’s fishing zones. So Amoudi and his co-workers are used to improvising. “We can repair fins, make an underwater gun, but there are things we can’t (obtain) such as fins, suits, goggles and oxygen,” he said.

[laurabelle2930]

Olicity Drabble 5x20~ Needing You

Okay so yeah I wanted more and I wrote it...It’s set during 5x20 and, again I just wanted this aspect explained after the whole flashback sequence that simply left me utterly confused. 

GIF not mine it belongs to @yet-i-remain-quiet 

No beta so I’m sorry the errors. P.S. I’m looking for a beta so....

“Needing You”

The first time she’d fallen asleep over his chest he’d gently nudged her cheek with the tip of his thumb until she quietly stirred. The second time he traced the line of her jaw with the back of his fingers until she let out a sleepy yawn. This time when her sleepy eyes dared to part she felt his fingers trailing down the back of her head until they’d settled over the nape of her exposed neck.

Felicity growled comfortably, her shoulders ached, her skin smelled of dust, dirt, and oddly enough smoke and, her body felt utterly wrecked from the day’s events. Her voice actually cracked when her low growls finally formed tangible words, “I think I prefer the back of your fingers…”

His voice seemed to trail over her skin like a soothing balm while he gently stroked his fingers along the nape of her weary neck, “I’ll make a note of that for next time,” he teased with an ease they hadn’t shared in months.

Her soft lips became tangled in the folds of his white tee-shirt as she smiled gently along his covered chest, “I can lift my head if I’m hurting you…” she offered in concern since his voice felt tight as the vibrations rattled across her skin.

“Or you could simply share the bed,” he offered when she attempted to stifle another yawn.

Laughing she nudged her nose along his sternum and, huffed out a tired decline. “No, I should go home and, seek comfort in the freshly cleaned linens of my soft bed.”

“Or you could tell me why you’re still here,” he shot back with again an ease they hadn’t shared in months.

She rolled her tired eyes and, bit along her bottom lip, “You really think we’ve reached that point in our relationship?”

He tapped his fingers along the base of her spine as she rolled her fingers along the folds of his hospital blankets. “I admitted to being a killer and, you agreed that you judged me for my actions I think we’ve reached a point of complete honesty don’t you agree?” he offered as she slowly slid her body back up against the back of the rod iron chair.

She slid her fingers between his own until his thumb was grazing over her slightly bruised knuckles. She brushed her free fingers along his stubbled jaw and, gazed almost lovingly into his hopeful blue eyes. She blushed when his eyes softened into a similar stare. “I’m guessing you’re ready for that talk I owe you?” she breathed contentedly.

His smile grew into a timid, nervous grin. “Only if you’re willing,” he hiccuped eagerly as she weighed the implications of such a speech.

His blue eyes widened in curiosity when she began to stand. She winked suggestively and, cocked her tired chin towards the bed’s other side. He inched towards the opposite side of the bed allowing her to curl herself gently along the newly freed space. He kept their fingers entwined while she moved to rest her head along the outer aspect of his broad shoulder. The tee-shirt was oddly scratchy as she rubbed her cheek along the soft, yet study muscle that just hours before had been torn by fighting to save her life. He winced when she brushed her nose along the ridge of his left pectoral. She queried gently when his eyes fell to her brow, “Did that hurt?”

His brow crinkled in humor while his fingers swept slowly down her upper cheek. She grinned joyfully when his fingers traveled down to rest upon her curved waist. “Yes but, it’s manageable,” he again teased once he’d began tracing along the black fabric of her dingy shirt. She smiled happily while she eagerly squeezed at their joined hands.

“I’ve missed feeling this closeness with you,” she whispered as he brought their joined hands down to rest over his navel.

“And I you,” he murmured once he’d managed to drop his chin upon the crown of her head.

She began pushing her legs between his own when he lifted his fingers from her waist and, reached for the hem of the blanket. She pushed her calves between his own while he draped the blanket over her curled form. She snuggled securely along his side while he positioned his arm around her shoulder. She in turn brought her free hand towards his own and, smiled when their fingers immediately joined. “You know if Curtis walks in we’ll never hear the end of it,” she joked recalling how he’d spent the better part of last summer trying to get them alone.

She heard his ribs rustle along his lungs when he chuckled humorously, “Well he accomplished his goal at least once as I recall…”

Felicity blushed, “Yeah I still can’t manage to look at the salmon ladder or even Chinese food without turning bright red.”

Oliver’s lips ghosted across her brow, “Neither can I…” he admitted softly. She was waiting for him to mention their bunker related rendezvous but he instead chose another route. “I mean seeing you do half a chin up was completely worth the hangover the next morning,” he finally finished as she gave him an invisible half smile.

“Thanks for not bringing up the enjoyable but still ill fated bunker sex,” she gulped as his lips brushed along the crown of her head.

“It wasn’t ill fated Felicity, it was perhaps a drunken mistake but, nothing about it for me was ill fated,” he offered very lightly.

She grinned as her eyes slid shut. “I wasn’t that drunk Oliver,” she reminded him so he’d stop feeling some sense of invisible guilt.

“Yeah but, still part of you instantly regretted it,” he replied as her eyes slid back open.

She sighed wearily, “If I’d known then what I know now that night would have ended with us in much better place.”

She felt him tap his fingers along her upper arm while she sought to keep them twined. His chest rattled beneath her cheek when he too sighed in contemplation, “You promised we’d talk and, I told you I wasn’t going anywhere…”

Felicity gulped, “So why did I find another guy when I’d just made love to you is the question you’re asking?”

She felt his cheek rubbing along her messed hair, “Yeah,” he mumbled. “That’s been bothering me for months,” he added with tension building in his nervous tone.

She nearly quivered with fear when she mumbled, “The next morning when I woke up alone in a penthouse that we used to share something horrible occurred to me.” She felt his throat bobbing along her temple when he swallowed his nerves. She continued if only to ease the growing tensions between them. “I realized that you didn’t come after me, you didn’t call me or even confront me about me words,” her voice froze when she felt his lips part along her brow…

“You took my silence as confirmation that no matter what I’d never give you all of me…”

She shook her head in silent afformation before letting her words fill the narrowing void between them. “I figured that settling for part of you was the same as settling for anyone else so….”

“So you tried to move on…” he concluded while she rubbed her nose along his chest.

“I met Billy a few weeks later when I was coming back from Thea’s apartment. He was simple, open and, most importantly a distraction. I knew I could fall for him but I knew that it wouldn’t matter because I was still so helplessly in love with you.”

She took a wobbly breath when Oliver asked quietly, “Is that why you never told anyone about him?”

She stammered but, managed a tight lipped, “After what we’d done that night in the bunker I didn’t want to face that I’d become the hypocrite. I didn’t want to face the idea that you wanted to talk through our issues while I simply chose to once again walk away. I wasn’t ready to face the reality of my choices so I didn’t. I hid him like some dirty little secret and, then lashed out in guilt when I realized that he died because he was involved with me. He died loving me while I still remained completely in love with you…”

Oliver whispered in opposition of her last statement, “You’re not the problem here Felicity I am. I pushed us into this vicious cycle when I lied about having a son…”

She tightened her legs around his own before verbally replying, “I didn’t have to follow your example after I asked for all of you now did I?”

He brushed off her objection and, continued to do what she feared he’d do, “Felicity after what Chase showed me, hell after what he awakened in me I know that everything that’s wrong with us is due to my lack of trust in myself. I’ve always trusted you so why the hell didn’t I trust you with that? Why didn’t I trust my partner in every aspect of my life?”

She shrugged within his hold, “Why didn’t I understand you enough to see past your walls? Why did I walk away when I could have stayed? Why did I tell you we’d talk only to then never honor my promise? We can do this for days without ever coming to a reasonable conclusion. The point is we both messed up when we let our entire relationship fade.”

He smirked, “See partner in every way…”

She wanted to glower at him but, refrained and, opted for another approach. “Yeah well this partner should have come to you when she first started seeing Billy. I should have explained why I’d chosen to move on so you could do the same. I kept you frozen in limbo and, that wasn’t fair,” she offered so the conversation would continue to move them both forward.

“And I should have seen the change and, simply asked what caused it,” he again offered as a way to shoulder all the blame.

“Either way I shouldn’t have frozen you out of my life or my heart because without you I was never the same. I needed my best friend when Billy was killed and, you…”

“Needed you, I needed you Felicity just as I always do,” he interjected easily.

She squeezed at their joined hands once more, “And I need you so as long as we keep that in mind then we should be just fine,” she suggested as the blue from the room began to slightly darken. She shifted her gaze upward as he tried to stifle his own yawn. She grumbled sleepily, “I think we’ve bonded enough for one day…”

He sheepishly agreed, “Yeah at least for one day…”

She rolled her eyes but remained mum as he brought her closer. The vibrations from his heart raced through her body until she felt him in her core. She sighed in contentment as his lungs expanded below her cheek. She murmured in relief, “I’m glad I have my friend back…”

Oliver’s gruff voice turned towards the softer tone that he’d reserved for her when his chest rumbled beneath her cheek once more. “I’ll be honest I missed my babbling best friend.”

She giggled at the comment, “Yeah and I’ve missed the arrogance of my best friend as well.”

“Arrogance huh?”

She nearly cackled with humor, “You said I babbled!”

He pressed a timid kiss to her crinkled brow, “Can I admit one more thing before we both fall asleep?” he asked through pursed lips.

Her skin tingled where his words touched her skin, “Yeah because I’m sure I’ll admit the same thing,” she whispered as they remained frozen within the other’s hold.

“Felicity?”

“Yeah Oliver?” she yawned as her eyes began to slowly close.

“I love you,” he whispered into one last kiss upon her warmed brow.

Her nose crinkled and, her cheeks burned when she whispered in eager reply, “Good because, I love you too…”

Tagging: @emmaamelia95 @pleasantfanandstudent @coal000 @memcjo @lesanchea @mrsbubblelee @olicitylovemaking @miriam1779 @love2luvyyou @almondblossomme @diggo26 @rivaroma @vaelisamaza @befitandchase @pimsiepim @andjustforthismoment @anonymiss118 @thelockpickingvictorian @yet-i-remain-quiet @lexi9515 @kathrynelizabeth89 @marniforolicity @marytagus @myhauntedblacksoul @myuntetheredsoul @blondiegrl00 @independent-fics @felicity-said--yes @relativelyobsessedfangirl @i-m-a-fan-world @mel-loves-all @somewhatinsanepoetryy @danski15 @green-arrows-of-karamel @malafle @emilyp05 @oliverfel4 @alemap74 @vicky-vale @charlinert @hope-for-olicity @missafairy @arrows-4ever @jaspertown @cainc3 @sweetzcupcake @captainolicitysbedroom @nalla-madness @smoakingarrow19 @bwangangelic @ccdimples88 @lalawo1 @yespleasehawkeye @ireland1733 @quiveringbunny @scu11y22 @detbensonsvu1 @tdgal1 @cinfos @xxliveyourlife @onceuponarrow @supersillyanddorky06 @wherethereissmoak 

[spaz8550]

Stay 

Ch 15

In London Sinead walked through the door and glanced at her bewitched clock that showed the time in Boston. She noticed Bill was out and grabbed the phone calling Maggie.

"Hello?"

"I had a date."

"With that guy? The one you kept day dreaming about?"

"Yes."

"Good, now spill. You deserve it." Sinead told Maggie all about her night and then Maggie filled her in on Caleb's day and his adjustment after Disney World. Sinead ended the call with her friend who was planning a trip to London at the end of June. Sinead was beginning to feel tired because if the time difference and decided that getting some sleep would be the best choice.

The rest of that week past quickly and soon enough it was Friday. Sinead went to the grocery store to pick up some food and two bottles of wine then went back to the flat. She used several cleaning spells and finished up putting her clothes away from her trip. Sinead was satisfied that the house was clean and she had everything she needed. Sinead was laying on the couch watching tv when Bill came through the door with a smile.

"I found a place. It's a street away from Diagon Alley so I'll be close to my job at Flourish and Blotts. It's nice it has two bedrooms. I think Jim will like it. I made an offer and they should be getting back to me soon."

That night Bill picked up Chinese food to celebrate his new apartment. Since the owners of the building were wizards he would be able to move in to the apartment in two weeks. Sinead was excited at the prospect if spending the day with Severus. Bill was working most of the day then was going to start picking out furniture and then meeting a co worker for drinks at the Leaky Cauldron so Sinead wasn't concerned about him sulking around. Unlike most weekend mornings Sinead woke up early and then went to the gym for a run. She spent an hour on the treadmill before coming back to the apartment and starting on cooking. While things were baking she showered and then moved her various boxes to the living room and enlarged them to their normal size. At 9:30 there was a knock on the door and Sinead walked over to see Severus.

"Good morning, I know I'm early but I finished up brewing early."

"Good morning, come on in." She opened the door wider and he walked into the apartment. Instead of his usual black outfit he was wearing dark grey pants and a black tee shirt. Sinead and Severus made small talk as the muffins cooled. "Bill found his own place. He'll be moving out in 2 weeks."

"I'm sure that'll be a welcome change."

"Yes, now I can brew here. He was always complaining so I had to go into St. Mungos to brew. It'll be much easier on my own schedule."

"How is your potion line doing?"

"Amazingly well. One shop in Salem carries them and another in Boston. Right now I'm keeping up with both places but I'm thinking of looking for a shop in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade to carry my items."

"Why not try Hogsmeade first? That way it won't be too over whelming."

"Good idea. I have a friend who is coming over with his wife and he's interested in helping me with the business. Trent started apprenticing at the same time I did, he eventually backed out before becoming a master. Since then he became a charms apprentice and finished his mastery in that. Now I think he's beginning to realize that he should have finished with potions. He got married while I was in Boston and his wife is a healer. I'm going to try and get her into St. Mungos."

"That will be helpful." Severus and Sinead ate breakfast in silence and then started looking through boxes.

Sinead wanted to go through the journals on her own so they were placed in a pile and all spell books were placed in another. The journal pile wasn't as large as Sinead hoped, her great-grandmother had written 3 journals two of which were about her life in America, one was filled with mostly information she found out about the curse. Around 1 they took a break to have some soup that Sinead had made the day before.

"Your great-grandmother had quite a collection. Some of these books are very rare. They must have been in the family for some time."

"That's what Frank said, he said most of the books had been around for generations.”

After lunch the pair finished sorting the books into piles. Sinead put all the journals back in a crate to look at later. While looking through the old texts the phone rang, Sinead walked over and glanced at the caller id. First she wasn't going to answer because it was Danny but she picked it up.

"Hello Daniel." She said.

"Is it a bad time? I need some advice."

"Of course you do. Quickly." She said walking into the kitchen with the phone.

"I have a date-"

"Oh come on. Just wear a blue shirt and black pants. You'll be fine."

"No, she's a witch."

"Hmm... someone I know?"

"Maybe."

"It's Maggie isn't it. I could kill the two of you."

"I don't know how I even got myself into this. We have nothing in common besides being friends with you."

"Then cancel."

"I-"

"You like her then?"

"I don't know."

"Then go out and see how it goes. No messing around though because she'll get attached and then Caleb will and I'll have to kill you."

"Right to the point then. Who are you with? That Potions guy?"

"Yes, I was serious about the messing around part. I'll call you 

tomorrow and I'll call her-"

"I'll behave myself. You behave yourself." Before Sinead could reply she heard a dial tone. "Jerk." She mumbled walking back in the room. 

"Sorry about that. Danny and his need for advice."

"Not a problem."

"I can tell I'll spend tomorrow going back and forth because of this date. He's going out with my other best friend Maggie. Bad idea if you ask me."

"He's a grown man, let him sort out his own issues." Severus said feeling a bit jealous. Sinead sat on the couch next to Severus, it was the closest they had been all day. She could tell he was nervous.

"I-I've missed you." Sinead said taking Severus's hand. A small smile crossed his lips. "I wish I didn't have to be away as long as I did but I'm glad to be back."

"I'm glad you’re back." He said softly. Sinead turned a bit so she was facing him.

"Severus, I want to know more about you but I know it's going to take some time so why don't I tell you more about me. You know a bit of my family history, the witches in my family were from Ireland and there was a cursed but you don't know much about me personally. I'm an only child, my dad is a lawyer he runs the family's law firm. My mother met him when she was his secretary, she's 8 years younger than him and his complete opposite. I may look like my mother's side of the family but I have my father's disposition with a little spunk from my mother's father. My dad is a lawyer focusing on human rights. When I was born my mom stayed at home with me but we spent a lot of time with her parents who lived on the first floor of our two family row-house. They were my only grandparents growing up since my dad's parents died before I was born." Sinead stood up and went to get a picture from the mantel and handed it to Severus.

"This is me with Joe, my pa when I graduated high school. He passed away a little over a year later. Nancy, my mom's sister, was the witch of her generation but she never used her powers. She was an amazing woman, very religious and very kind. Her three sons are like my big brothers." Sinead picked up another picture of Sinead with a couple and then another of her with three men, one of them had red hair and could have been her brother.

"This is Gerald, Michael, and Joseph. Joseph has a four year old little boy named Nicky. All three of them are married, they all got married the year that Nancy was sick. She knew she was dying but Nancy stayed strong through the 3 weddings. She died a month after my grandfather. My cousin Gerald and his wife are actually going to be in Scotland next fall, he's a college professor and he's teaching a semester at a college in Scotland." Sinead was about to continue when the door opened and Bill walked in.

"Sorry, just need to pick up something and I'm leaving." He said walking towards his room as Sinead replaced the pictures.

[imeugene]

I just read this and it’s pretty interesting. The topic is out there and as much as crapstorm these things tend to be.. I lowkey like it. I’m not gonna weigh in about anything but I’ll just leave it at a story that I’ve been wanting to tell. Just never had an opportunity to do so and I think this is a way that I can and escape some responsibility. It’ll all make sense. 

The Bikeguide video. It was what I was supposed to do. Bikeguide was a forum for geeks of BMX. People who measured parts with calipers and discussed the hypotheticals of BMX. It was a great community like that. I can honestly say I have fond memories of that place growing up and really enjoyed being part of it when it was still lively. With the community it fostered there was a lot of debates between people. I’d say it was the more intelligent part of BMX forums. Vital was for kids. TCUB was for try hards. 20inchnyc was for... I don’t know what it was for and the BMXBOARD was for the exclusive members of there to jerk each other off and act like its a BMX Illuminati. Bikeguide was more friendly to everyone which made it in my opinion the best forum. Yea. People took a lot of high quality pictures of their bikes but it was all in good fun and taste. 

I wanted to travel and film a Bikeguide video. Not out of any type of real selfless motives but I’m Asian and my mom knows way too many kids of her friend’s who are making 100k plus and felt like I’m doing nothing. BMX has completely dominated my life at that point so I wasn’t doing anything she could understand. A Bikeguide video would seem official enough while simultaneously allowing me to the see more of the world I always wanted to do (also the same case with the only Atavism shirt I ever made and sold). Something if you read this blog enough you realize is a big part of BMX to me. Back then Bikeguide had a lively enough community to pull that off and I wanted to do it too. So I tried. I saved money and went out and filmed and traveled. They say traveling is life changing experience and it was.

I really wanted to make a Bikeguide video though. I had no plans to make it anything else. I guess I was a bit too young and naive to understand what I didn’t know would happen in the course of that four months so. I honestly came back from all that hating BMX. People acting all sorts of weird in years after, getting stolen from, played around, even a few fights, all that usual petty stuff that now I understand comes from just being a person but when it was all happening the usual moniker of a chink constantly came up. A kid who always had nothing but good experiences in BMX, I kind of grew to resent it. I rode bikes cause I didn’t wanna deal with all that which was pretty prevalent in my upbringing in Richmond, the former capitol of the Confederacy and BMX was becoming more like that. Sure I used to be pretty opinionated on Bikeguide. Have beliefs like I would on here on politics, religion and what not. It was nice cause under the anonymity of a username you truly felt like your opinions were valid because of their substance. I find a lot of times if people view you as different, especially as something as big as race than inherently they view you as bias. What person on Earth doesn’t have a race? I guess everyone is bias but that’s not how its perceived. I’m the different one and my beliefs are wrong cause I am.  

I remember meeting someone and that person knew who I was through Bikeguide and I didn’t know who that person was. Maybe a lurker, maybe a prominent member I don’t know. That person would subtly gesture that he knew me and my internet history. I guess I offended him enough online to the extent he remembered and subtly made it known that he didn’t like me. Honestly he probably didn’t like my views which at the time were strong, misguided but I’d say well intentioned like most early 20 year old. I think the clinger was the fact that me being Asian was the root of all my problems, the way he put it. Something that happened a bit too much. Coming back from that trip made me hate Bikeguide and the BMX community in general. Like I said young, naive, and still misguided, a few penis jokes and chinks online and offline, typical foreigner racist jokes and what nots. Later I’m done with BMX people. I just got to a point where BMX dictated my life and that may work for some people but I always hated the notion that I’m gonna be too Asian til I prove myself otherwise. Either I have to be white enough to be in the cool like back in high school but I wasn’t gonna do that. I hung out with the weirdos and degenerates, I didn’t do it then and I sure as hell aren’t gonna do it now. That or work myself extra, cause I better make myself useful. My anime loving ass isn’t gonna do anyone’s preciously choreographed social status any better so I have to directly offer them something for their A-ok. Nah I don’t function like that either. As much as I wanted to believe that BMX is separate from the real world, it’s not. It’s just easier for me to realize cause I don’t have luxury to pretend it’s not. Cause the same crap the governs the rest of the world, governs BMX too and that’s people. 

I ultimately didn’t make a Bikeguide video and I regret that a lot. I was an even more a pompous douche back then. I made Somewhere. I distinctly remember cause it’s the individuals that are all out there “somewhere” that made it all worth it. Gave out a few copies for free and put some sections through BMX UNION with Kurt. Kurt and everyone I met through Bikeguide directly were good people though and Kurt if your reading this my mom was ultimately proud to see what I wrote and put up through your site so ultimately my trip was a success. In hindsight 94% of people I met were good but there’s a way that the 6% shits on everything. I’m sure they have people they love and that love them but Hitler was also loved so that doesn’t mean much to me. I’m sure 94% of the time those people are decent people too just when they were in the presence of such greatness as myself, they couldn’t hold in their feelings of envy, jealousy, want, lust, and absolute desire to be my friend and maybe more.. and all that came out as anger. It’s ok I get it a lot ;* 

But back to topic in question, honestly I can’t take either argument seriously. One used the word proletariat in a serious way and the other guy called Washington DC “the edge of the South”. Proletariat?! Seriously!? That’s the verbal equivalent of I drive a small hatchback and have a bumper sticker for every view I have. And DC is not the edge of the South. DC is one of the most multicultural friendly areas in probably all the US. Ethiopian food is literally regional cuisine. There are supermarkets for every race and culture in every other corner. Driving home from work today in the 20 minutes I saw a Christian Church that had Black Lives Matter, another Christian Church that had a rainbow flag, a Buddhist temple for Chinese people, a Buddhist temple for Cambodians, Greek Orthodox church, a Mosque, and a half dozen Korean churches for every denomination. DC had a very sordid racist history I’ll admit but it’s changed drastically since then. 

The way I see the whole thing is something like this. My family has obviously never owned slaves but I don’t use the n-word. Am I tied into this system of hate? Nope. My family was picking rice somewhere thousands of miles away in the opposite direction. My race is completely uninvolved in the history that happened but I don’t use it cause it’s inconsiderate. Maybe if you’re one of my close buddies and we’ve been blasting rap music for a few hours and we’re extra hyped, I might use it as a term of endearment but never in a way of hate. I don’t make it a deal to use it or show everyone I can use it. I don’t want to justify myself in saying it’s a word and explaining why I’m not tied into all hate language if they ask. In the end I can just choose not and everyone goes their way and no one will ever make a fuss that I don’t use it. It’s just common courtesy. In 1000 years when people use the n-word as formal language they can do that but now.. it’s a heavy word that has meaning for everyone. Just cause someone like Tyler the Creator says he doesn’t care how anyone uses it, doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone. I’m not so full of myself to make it a point, do it and guess everyone’s outcome. Can you be proud of the South. Absolutely. Can you tell people who are also proud to be Southern. Absolutely. Should you make it a point and show everyone by placing something as symbolic and meaningful as a Confederate flag to everyone in a nationally advertised event in BMX. It’s bad taste. A Dale Earnhardt t-shirt would’ve sufficed. Sure BMX loves bad taste but this is a realm that is really meaningful to a lot of people and BMX is not the type of vessel for that level of a message. 

I wrote a few things before that I felt was important. Things tinged in a bit of a social message. I did it cause this site is a way I have the most audience. At the time I probably had a few hundred views a month. The messages I put I felt were important cause they were messages I lacked growing up. No one writes songs about what it is to be Asian in America. Or makes movies or anything really. Outside of books, it’s just not there but I made a conscious decision to stay away from that cause this is a BMX blog and once again BMX is not the vessel for that level of message. After this post, back to the usual. Cause honestly you folks aren’t even capable of handling the message I really want to deal out muhahaha. 

[woodardmiles1992]

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