#i haven't been able to touch the books or movies in years and yet i cant get rid of the box set of books i bought when i was like 17 with

[mochinomnoms]

The idea of a octotrio polycule is so cute Mochi pliz hear my rambling

Why settling for one when you can get a buy one get two for free deal?

I can't think of much ideas other than the situation that Azul does something similar to what happened in book three so now they are punished by not getting cuddles the most decent option is to actually put your foot down and keep the punishment even if your boyfriends cry out about how "working at the lounge was so exhausting! Please spare some cuddles for these three poor fishies!!" and even if some of your friends call you out (Jack for Jade, Ace for Floyd +Jamil, Azul for literally anyone?) because they are causing trouble:

Jade keeps following around Jack to ask him questions about beastfolks (I think this happened in the playful land event Jade wanted to make Jack wear silly clothes) he is willing to drag anyone you know into hearing his fully dramatized history of your harsh punishment and it comes with the incredible acting skills of Jade Leech!!

Floyd isn't even trying to even walk to every other activity he does it looks like he does it against his own will (on classes, on club activities) and that's why Ace told you about the latest club practice where Floyd just stayed face first on the gymnasium floor? Please prefect Jamil is about to invent new seafood dishes from how much annoyed he is with this "squiggly, slimy bastard eel"

Speaking of slimy eels... Epel called you because he discovered the whole reason why Vil has been more snappy than usual is Azul not being able to provide his moisturizer because "My workers and myself are in a heavy emotional break, I am afraid that we will be canceling production until stated otherwise.." he genuinely made a little domino line that ends connecting to you and your personal friends?

Of course that's the more decent option of you still going along with the punishment I am saying decent because the other option is to give up and get teased by the tweels and getting your time and affection fully capitalized by your octo darling

After the punishment is over (if you actually have decency and choose the first option) surprisingly when the three immediately drag you to the usual cuddle session everything is planned to fit each of your likings the series you three been watching/a movie playing in the tv, tasty snacks and a thing similar to a pillow fort/a nest? Filled with soft blankets and couches for the best of the best cuddle sections and after this everything will go back to its regular flow!!

(i want to force my brain to have more ideas for this dynamic but I haven't come up with anything else)

BUY ONE GET TWO FREE ASKJDKLAJSFKJGLGJ

They are a delightful package deal, tbh. But they guilt you for your affections so often, it's a miracle that you haven't wrung their necks yet.

They indeed make it everyone else's problem when you decide to ban them from any form of affection other than quick cheek kisses and handholding. But it's 10 times worse when only one or two of them are banned, but the others aren't.

Floyd gets in trouble with you a lot because he tends to bite into you a bit harder than he should, leaving deep marks. It's not the marking itself that's the issue, you'll admit, but it's the fact that he'll leave them in visible areas like your forearms, neck, collar, and even your ankles. All spots that others will see and ask, “Wtf, you good bro??” Sometimes he'll do the same to Azul, who will do the same and ban Floyd from touching him in any form. It wouldn't be as bad if Jade didn't rub it in his face, coming up to hug you from behind, leaning in close to brush his lips against Azul's ear to whisper something, all things that Floyd can't do! It leaves Floyd incredibly annoyed, sometimes angry, and every so often devastated that he can't hold his mates. If the latter occurs, he's coming after you. A weak thing to his tears, Azul has had years to build up resilience and hold firm, but you are weak to a whiny, teary-eyed Floyd who is begging for a kiss and cuddle. It's not faaaaair, Jade's been rubbing it in his face all day, and he loves you both so much, but Azul's not budging and if he can't even hold his shrimp, he doesn't even know what he'll dooooooooo! The day ends with Floyd and you in bed, his arms tightly wrapped around your middle and legs tangled in yours as he blissfully naps. Azul's annoyed that you caved in, but Jade's amused and tries to push Azul into joining the cuddle pile with him.

Now, if Jade's the one that being iced out for something, he'll actually return the favor tenfold. He's just an innocent little guy, what do you mean he can't just secretly feed you two an aphrodisiac mushroom? You had lots of fun afterward, even Floyd agrees (he does, but his firm moral stance on mushrooms doesn't). But Azul's pissed that he was used as a test subject again, and you had to call Ace and Deuce to watch Grim as an emergency. Again. So when you both ban him to only quick smooches and side hugs, Jade returns the energy. He's refusing any form of affection, and not giving them to you. Unlike Floyd, who's begging harassing you for cuddles, he's going to make you two come beg for him. After a few days of no Jade, you're both missing him, it's surprisingly Azul who reaches out first when Jade comes to deliver some paperwork for the dorm. The octomer had leaned in to give him a kiss, when Jade stepped away with a sly smile and told him, “Oh, but I thought you weren't giving me your affections? Let's not go back on our word now, Azul.” Jade is a tad bit nicer to you—taking after Floyd—to guilt you into loving on him again. But Azul? He's gonna make him suffer, simply because he enjoys making him squirm. It's honestly a sight to see, as neither are willing to back down. At least until the two of them fall asleep in Azul's office after working a late night, curled into each other's sides on the couch.

Azul probably has it the worst, as he has both twins teasing him. Floyd and Jade are flaunting you around him, being extra handsy. They're cooing at him, whining about how they can't cuddle both of you at the same time since he was dumb enough to piss you off. How could he do this to them? Such a mean, mean Azul! By far, though, you're the weakest to Azul's charms and silver tongue when compared to the twins. Maybe it's due to the knowledge of Azul's childhood, or maybe it's just because he's extra cute, but you can't find yourself away from him for more than a day. He sniffles, murmurs something about missing your embrace, and you're rushing into his arms, kissing away his tears. The twins get incredibly annoyed that you're so quick to let Azul back into your arms, while they have to wait at least a week sometimes. But then you're both reaching out arms and cooing at them to come to bed, batting your eyes, and all complaints are out the window.

I love them they make for a wonderful polycule. After all, they're a package deal, no matter how much they might say they're not.

[mental-illness-bingo]

Content Warning: Venting about ableism against ADHD and Autism in a book; mentions of emotional abuse, repeated mentions of elitism within the autism community, "corrective" surgery for mental health disorders, demonizing of medication, encouraging young adults to refuse their medication etc. Note that I haven't finished the book yet, but I intend to, so I suppose it could get better, but what it's done already is abhorrent, and I'm grossed out.

Book in question: The Love Letters of Abelard and Lily by Laura Creedle

This. Book. Is. Killing. Me.

I saw this recommended as a "really good book about autism and ADHD" from someone but I *really* hate it so far (I'm on Chapter 27, about 2/3 way through the book) and it's honestly just blatantly ableist in so many ways. I do not know if Laura Creedle is autistic or has ADHD, but if so? Internalized ableism everywhere. If not then yet another neurotypical asshat who wrote an ableist ass book.

Context: Lily is diagnosed with ADHD and Abelard is diagnosed with "Asperger's".

And let's start there. This book was written in 2017, years after the switch from that N*zi doctor's name to Autism Spectrum Disorder. This is problem #1, and the reason is not that they use that word for it. I can and have enjoyed books while suspending my disbelief around the fact that they maybe didn't know because a significant number of people still don't in 2023.

However, Abelard is the poster child for elitism. He is this super smart kid who just so happens to have trouble with verbal conversation, being late, and sometimes being touched. He is worse than the savant trope because he is literally talked about like a genius. He is inhumanly good at chess, robotics, old literature, video games, just everything he touches, really. In fact, despite him supposedly having serious communication difficulties, when he is texting, he is suddenly able to communicate just like anyone else, with occasional long pauses between texts being the only issue he shows.

And his sole meltdown that has been shown is honestly so toxic and borders abusive to Lily. She is late to their date due to her ADHD, something any of us with it can relate to, and Abelard knows about her ADHD in advance as well as having had seen her symptoms multiple times in person. There is 0 way he didn't know about her having ADHD. Anyway, she's a little late (I think 20 minutes or something but I can't remember tbh with you) and he is visibly angry with her, and she immediately apologizes, explaining that her ADHD causes her issues being on time. Rather than be understanding of his girlfriend's disorder the way she has tried to be with his, he pretty much ignores her. His mother babies him about it, working on setting up everything for him and getting them into the movie wherein he seems to relax (but only after forcing his mother to go get popcorn right this instant because they're watching a movie and he needs popcorn). Then, after a bit, his father is trying to explain the movie to Lily and its history and Abe does NOT like people talking during movies. He yells at his dad, who continues to try and talk, and then has the meltdown in question. Lily tries to touch him to help comfort him and realizes immediately she shouldn't have when he makes a noise as though he is in pain. He begins slamming his head off the table, which is reasonably off putting to Lily, and she asks his father for help. His father mentions his mom would usually be here and that Lily "shouldn't have been late", basically accusing her of causing the meltdown even though he kept pushing when his son told him they were watching a movie. Lily panics and exits to the kitchen because she feels helpless and upset that she can't do anything for him.

All of this is relatively understandable behavior, I guess. I don't really love that he yelled at his father and mother both in this scene for normal things because it paints autistic people as unreasonable and irrational, but it is true that sometimes meltdowns are caused by people continually doing normal things that happen to really get under our skin. His parents should know his triggers and avoid pushing them because they are his parents. Lily, on the other hand, is a child and one with her own neurodivergent struggle, and should never in any way have been strapped with the blame both because it is not her job to tiptoe around a boy she has been dating for a few days with triggers no one warned her about, and because the issue at hand is a symptom of her own disorder and is equally as in her control as Abelard's reaction to her being late is in his.

BUT THEN while panicking in the kitchen, Lily breaks something on accident as she often does and tries to leave and Abe's mom makes a whole thing out of it. She becomes physically intimidating to Lily, smashing a glass on purpose to "help" the situation, which obviously makes Lily uncomfortable, and half-threatens her to go back into her son's room even though she wants to go. Throughout the entire next scene Lily mentions in her narration wanting to go home and while I think it's important that Lily learns coping skills outside of running away, it is equally within her right to be too stressed by Abe's reaction to her being late and choose to break up with him. Lily is not required to stay with Abe just because she's the only girl he has brought home, and intimidating her into staying is disgusting.

To Abe's credit, he mentions that his mother used his sob story to make Lily stay. Then he loses 100% of that credit in the most entitled scene I've read in a long time where Lily is pressured to not only stay in that house and in that relationship, but also promise to NEVER be late again even though it is a symptom of her own disorder. She mentions that this seems to be the only way to make him happy and that "promising to try harder is not enough". So, more or less, she is in a relationship where she cannot ever show symptoms of her disorder without him giving her the silent treatment, yelling at everyone around him, and smashing his head into a table.

No one ever mentions at any time during this or after that Abelard also should be learning positive coping skills or teaching her how to help with his meltdowns or anything like that. She should just be expected to never show a symptom of her own disorder so that he doesn't react in a very toxic/honestly kind of abusive way. Cannot stress enough that he does not treat her kindly again until she promises she will literally never be late ever again. Not try - NEVER late again.

Abe strongarms multiple people like this throughout the book. His mother with the popcorn, his father with talking during a movie, his robotics teacher where he literally stands there and repeats "I invited my girlfriend to robotics" over and over again until, despite safety concerns, the teacher gives up and allows Lily to stay if she signs a waiver (which she doesn't read and is not the legal age to sign anyway), and Lily when he wants to tell her something but tells her she is not allowed to speak until he has finished then gets visibly angry (as noted by Lily) when she answers a question he asked her out loud. His meltdowns are used as a threat of sorts to the people around him and a manner of controlling them. It is worth noting I have only in my entire life met one autistic person who did this and surprise surprise, they were abusive and had a history of using meltdown threats to R word multiple people. That is not autistic behavior. It is abuse being hidden behind the excuse of autism, and it's gross in every context, including this book.

So, onto Lily's ADHD. Lily is constantly breaking things, constantly late, runs out of any even slightly uncomfortable situation, does not care about the emotions of her mother or her sister, and is overall a really gross ADHD stereotype. But that's okay! Why? Because she will be fixed via corrective surgery. Yes, you read that right. But let's go into why medication didn't work for her first.

Lily lists throughout the book her hatred of her current and all past medications, of which there is a number she lost count of. Because the author treats this ADHD character like a goldfish who was just given access to a human body for the first time and therefore cannot remember anything (or walk two steps without smashing something valuable), that number could still be relatively small. The book doesn't treat it as a small number though, so we're going to assume she's tried most ADHD medications, and is currently taking an antidepressant as a manner of treating ADHD which is so far in the past as far as treatment goes that I don't even know which medication they're talking about.

The typical antidepressants (SSRI's) are not used to treat ADHD at all to my knowledge, and SSNRI's are only really used if every other form of ADHD medication has failed you and even then are rarely used as far as anyone I know with ADHD. Why? Because there are actual medications that help ADHD, and a good amount of them. Realistically, the concept that 0 of them worked for Lily is statistically improbable. The only antidepressant really used to treat ADHD actively is Bupropion, but the emotional blunting the surgeon Lily sees says is a side effect of her medication is not a side effect associated with Bupropion. In fact, Wellbutrin/Bupropion is often used for people either in combination with or as a replacement for other antidepressants to counteract the emotional blunting they cause.

The demonizing of medication in this book is dangerous. Lily hates every medication because all of them have stripped her of her ability to feel anything positive. The book does not mention any other ADHD character that tolerates medication well, or even speak about it as though it is just not working for her. It does not explain that if Lily went to the doctor and told them her side effects, that they would *immediately* taper and remove a medication that is causing emotional blunting and sui thoughts. The book doesn't mention that this is an abnormal side effect - in fact it's says it's a common side effect of antidepressants. It also treats medication as some sort of weird muzzle that is put on people with ADHD so their loved ones (in this case Lily's mom, sister, and teachers) can tolerate them. The book does not mention any positive effects of any medication for ADHD at all. I hate to think how many kids were made afraid of or resentful of their meds by this book.

The book details specific ways to avoid taking your medication, and even how to hide it so you can (tw sui mention) take them all with vodka to hurt yourself. This is not something Lily attempts in the book, but was just thinking about, and therefore did NOT need to be described in detail. The book even acts like sui watch is stupid and unnecessary, and does not detail the dangers if Lily were to take all of these medications at once with alcohol. So basically they wrote in a non-precautionary sui method for kids with ADHD that also involves months or years of medication non-compliance. Great. /sarcasm

But like I said, that's not the worst of it. What upset me enough to write this whole rant is the next part. Lily's mother finally giving up on the neurologists (which... weird because everyone I know with ADHD was treated by a psychiatrist not ever a neurologist), and going to a literal brain surgeon for some sort of electrodes to be placed in her brain that is supposed to permanently change how her synapses fire.

This is the ableist buffet, and for a while Lily feels the same and by a while I mean 2-4 pages. Then she decides that she will see the doctor if her Mom does something for her, and forgets all about the upset of having her mother feel the need to cure her.

In fact, when Lily meets the doctor, it takes him almost no time to convince her that she not only needs but also wants the corrective surgery, spouting about how she could go to college right now if she does it, when college would not have even been an option before.

It is gross on every single level and I looked up this surgery and ITS FAKE ITS NOT EVEN REAL. This author literally made up a fake corrective surgery for ADHD, I wanna puke.

I literally do not even want to read this for the story anymore I just have to know how much worse it can possibly get. If it's bad maybe I'll reblog and add on to this.

Edit: HOW could I possibly forget Lily's Dad? A total deadbeat who cheated on her mother and ran off to Portland, who was only able to interact with his daughter while actively drinking when he still lived with them, who is constantly switching what he wants to do in his life to the point that he can't hold a job, and who refuses to talk to let alone see either of his daughters in the years since he's been gone because he "can't keep a phone". And why is he like this? As the books tells you very explicitly about 2/3 of the way in, he is like this because he also has ADHD. Lovely. He had this apparently entirely inspired, amazing, never-been-done idea for his dissertation in college. But then he more or less got bored and overwhelmed with the idea so he just dropped it, left college and his family, and ran away to Portland. All because he has ADHD, because the author thinks that's what this disorder is - an inability to have any responsibility or finish anything ever no matter what it is or how important. The author treats ADHD like it's a lobotomy and I hate it here.

Maybe don't read The Love Letters of Abelard and Lily.

Edit: see reblog. It got so much worse, not better.

[stormhearty]

Hello again, haha :)

Good luck and good work to you! I haven't read Eris's yet, just the reader's and Tarquin's (which I loved). Let's modernize it! Cass😳🙀 ah, I'm fine! It's been a bit of a slog, but today is Sunday and I've taken the opportunity to rest a bit (sleep😂).

I've never read a manwha, but it sounds good. An inspiring manwha! LOL. A recommendation of your favorite?

It's a wonder she's not dead yet. She needs to go to the police station and report him for abandoning a child🤣🤣

Maybe you need to see if the books on your to-read list are also discounted (just to check). Lmao. Well, I'm helping, since you said you have a goal of reading more!

The Narnia books give me the impression that they're much better than the movies! I'll read them one day!

A tag just for me? I feel so adorable! An emoji tag? I love ducks 🦆, or could it be a name? Emerald, because I love green things. So undecided. I could be a parrot soon, since I talk more than I should because my thoughts are always racing and I'm also racing to keep up with them so I don't forget. Make up your mind!

Don't worry, I know how working as a nurse takes up a lot of time and I'd be in bed until I had to go back to work too. I understand😹 I'm studying for today's lesson and I've jumped at the chance to come here hehe. Thank you! I love expressing my opinion, especially if it's about something I like. YES! Ms. SJM should explain a bit more about the other courts. I confess I'd like to see a bit more of the Autumnal Court(?) I don't know why, but I'd like to see more about Eris and the place my dear Lucien had to leave. I also confess that part of my curiosity is to get to know more about Eris, because, amazingly, I have a crush on him after reading a few things here! (Even though I know the poor guy barely has any screen time. Judge me) LMAO. I think a lot of fans were expecting this🤣🤣 let's make a protest for Tarquin to appear more. Maybe Helion too! Bring them all!!!😂😳 Note: Before I felt more mysterious without emoji, but I love it. I feel mysterious with a brand now😘 🦆

Sorry for the broken responses though! And I decided to just put together both of your asks~ It might be easier for me to reply to both!

And thank you! I do hope you enjoy the Eris one! It's very angsty~ Yup! I am having a difficult time with the Modern!Cassian one though~ More like always having difficulty starting it but that's a me problem.

And that's me the past few days. It was my weekend at work and all I did was lay in bed attempting to get some sleep. As usual. And then yesterday I had dinner with coworkers it was fun, that's why I haven't been able to reply to anything the last few days.

My favorite manwha reads (some are finished, some are on hiatus and some are ongoing):

Finished:

Who Made Me a Princess (this is a must to read)

Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

The First Night with the Duke

Flirting with the Villain's Dad

Ongoing:

Villains Are Destined to Die

A Stemother's Marchen

How to Win My Husband Over

The Siren: Becoming the Villain's Family

I Married the Male Lead's Dad

The Dark Lord's Confession

Hiatus:

Secret Lady

Roxana (How to Protect the Main Lead's Older Brother)

The Villainess is a Marionette

Into the Light, Once Again

The Archduke's Adopted Saint

I can't list all of them because it'd be so much! There are many manwha's I have dropped over the years because it got really boring or I lost interest.

But I actually own already LOTR and Narnia books! The Narnia was a behemoth of a book since it was the compilation of all the books. So I have to lug that thing around when I have to read it 🤣🤣 And they are! I did just love the actors for the movie version of Narnia.

Well, I think it has been touched on here on Tumblr that Autumn Court has so many hidden secrets and the betrayal and all that stuff, the secret affairs. It sounds so spicy compared to everywhere else. And SAME! I was in love with Eris even though he barely had any scenes. And our boi, Lucien~

Oh my god. If Rhysand wasn't Feyre's mate I would have so petitioned for Tarquin to be with her. LMAO.

Mysterious with a brand~ my duckie nonnie~

[karamazovposting]

I officially finished The Brothers Karamazov and I am indeed devastated. It's always like that with endings for me, that's why I avoid TV shows as much as possible and only watch movies. I was thinking of starting it over again because I haven't gotten over anything in my life ever, but I have all the books I bought in the past (almost ten?) years hoping one day I'd be able to read again to catch up on; I will definitely read TBK again but it will have to wait for now.

This blog will remain a TBK only blog, I still have metas in my drafts and I feel like I'll keep coming up with more as I still need to obsess over this book for an undefinite amount of time. Also just because the book is over and the author died almost two centuries ago it doesn't mean I have to stop talking about it. This book is so special to me as it touches many topics that are close and mean a lot to me and describes many experiences I've gone through myself, and I'm glad I decided to start this blog because not only it has helped me with getting into reading again, but seeing all your art and thoughts and writing has me wanting to get back into drawing again (and maybe writing too? I used to write but I don't know, definitely not my forte), so thank you. And thank you for reading my takes, sharing yours, and having discussions with me too.

I used to read a lot as a kid but then bipolar disorder hit and I had to give it up (like I had to give up music and movies, but I'm currently studying to become a professional singer-musician and I also have a Letterboxd account so I got that sorted out thankfully); I've tried to get back into it over the years, but I never finished almost every book I picked up and TBK almost met the same fate. I'd started reading it a couple years ago, but I had to take a break about halfway because I wasn't in total remission yet (I am now!) and I was still getting a few little and short episodes from time to time, which was way better than what I was going through before but still tough, but I was determined to finish this damn book and nothing was going to stop me so here I am. I don't know why I decided TBK was going to be the book that got me into reading again, maybe because it's the longest book I own and I thought that if I'd been able to finish that, all my other books would have been child's play; I'm glad I made that decision. I took it very slow but it's not a race so who cares.

And now I want to read everything I can! I've carried TBK around a lot and I usually read it in between classes and that's what I'll do with my other books as well; I've always liked carrying books around, it feels like letting the stories and the characters accompany me through my day. By the way, my copy of TBK is probably one of the crappiest copies ever made: it has many typos and printing defects (like random lines on the page or over the words), but I paid like €1 for it and that kind of chaos/mess suits me as a person so I treasure it dearly; it almost feels like it found me.

I don't know where I was going with this, I guess I got carried away a litte, but I needed to put my thoughts somewhere. I'll end this by saying my future as a reader sure looks bright and I'm looking forward to getting my passion for reading back.

[monstersinthecosmos]

I didn't follow any of the pre-release promotional materials; do you have a link to the showrunner(s) stating/implying that queerness is merely "subtextual" in the absence of literal sex? (Apologies if you've shared it before and I just wasn't paying attention.) Also, thank you for your prolific and thorough critiques. I'm a more casual book fan and was tentatively excited to see the show forge a new narrative path while still guided by the same lifeblood, if you will. But at this point, hmmmmmm

I don't recall him commenting on it being about literal sex, THAT WAS ME EDITORIALZING LMAO.

I haven't been able to stomach the entire SDCC panel but I know they talked about it in there, I kinda peeked around for a transcript but didn't find one. ANYONE FEEL FREE TO SHARE THE DIRECT QUOTES please I don't have the strength. There's a summary article here, though, which touches on the convo a little:

(Don't even ask me to start unpacking the Fiona Apple comment dude what?)

This article also talks about the SDCC panel and doesn't directly quote him but it sums up:

There's just been article after articleeeeee of people who didn't read the books or just watched the film or whatever and keep going WOWIE IT'S NOT SUBTEXT, GREAT JOB, when like ? It was never subtext lol. And that's not entirely the show's fault, how mainstream perceives it, but they've been running with that and taking credit for it.

Like there's just been tons of headlines and praise like this -

I think the show & RJ have also been pretty blurry with how often they claim they're not a remake of the movie and yet constantly make digs at the movie and even reference it often on the show itself. So I think sometimes they're commenting on the movie when they forget they've already told us they're not remaking the movie. =P

There's also this quote (I didn't screenshot bc there's an ad in the middle LOL!) but:

"It’s aggressive subtext in the first book, but by the time you read books eight and nine, it was the love affair of the century. Without spoiling too much, subtext becomes text in our show."

(Let's not point out that books 8 & 9 are ... *checks notes* Blood & Gold and Blackwood Farm. Okaaaaaay Rolin. 😪)

Also sorry by love affair of the century do you mean Lestat goes around and has adventures and uses everyone while Louis stays safely tucked away at Armand's house until he's needed, or? Sorry lmfao I'm so fucking. dghadgkjs.

That interview is full of nonsense that will make you want to scream if you're feeling brave.

Anyway I feel like, I've been obsessively watching the production unfold for the past year and I kept getting so many red flags like there's been so many odd comments and little sexist quips, the complete misunderstanding (or lack of fucks) about what Claudia is supposed to mean in the story, etc. I just keep getting aggressive CISHET MAN vibes from this team and the lens they read VC through.

And yknow what, fair whatever I guess, we all read different versions of the same book and they're the ones that got to make it. But idk I like VC for the dark elegant spooky existential angst, I didn't need it to be gritty and open up with shit jokes. And five episodes in I didn't need it to use outdated, dangerous rape tropes and I also don't need it to oversell the domestic abuse. (Hint: Lestat was already abusive as fuck from the moment we met him, don't oversell!)

It's an okay show lmao. It's not recognizable as VC at all except that it recycles the names. None of the characters have been accurate so far. Even Lestat, where Sam Reid is doing so many fun things with his delivery and mannerisms that almost seem like Lestat, is just so fucking OOC and a caricature and just really lacks the depth and nuance and sensitivity of who he is in the books.

If you can turn your brain off and not look at it as VC there's some fun moments, but it's also full of continuity errors and just plot holes and bad writing when you look too close, so don't try to analyze it too hard or you'll have a bad time lol. Even the stuff that's really interesting and that they get right, they tend to lose interest in and drop, or they mix it into so much vampire soap opera shenanigans that it's hard to walk away knowing what the episode is actually about. It's just. Woof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[millennialgrandma]

Getting To Know You Tag Game

Thanks to my love @roseharpermaxwell for the tag 💚

Three Ships: we're only at the first question and I'm already having a crisis 😅 I haven't been able to shake them over the last 13ish years, so it's pretty safe to say dramione is my forever OTP. I'm down bad for panville, but I'm down horrendous for draco/neville (ship name: BadBottom), especially when you add hermione to the mix (HerBadBottom). Shout out to @whimsymanaged for being a horny monster with me about them. Can we pretend hp ships count as one and I can leave you with two more? Excellent, I'm glad you agree. Kanej. Kanej makes me want to chew through drywall. And can you tell I've also recently been obsessing over firstprince?

First Ship: it was actually one of my high school crushes that introduced me to fanfic and forever altered the course of my life. I started with hinny for a few weeks until I stumbled across my first dramione

Last Song: that Tom Cardy song that just came across my dash 😆

Last Movie: it seems I am incapable of moving past RWRB

Currently Reading: this year hasn't been a great one for reading. Work has been so busy that I don't really have the mental capacity for it? I've got months of hp fanfic to catch up on and a veritable mountain of firstprince fanfic now that I've finished the book. I started Dead Wake by Erik Larson (about the sinking of the Lusitania) on the plane a few weeks ago, so I guess you could say I'm currently reading that (even though I haven't picked it up since). Still hasn't stopped me from buying 3 more books since then, though 🤡

Currently Watching: ahahaha so uh, lately I've been watching Bluey while I eat meals. Today I watched like 11 episodes over lunch? And cried through at least 7 of them in a row? It's just so fucking wholesome and so so healing.

Last Thing I Wrote: I'm constantly writing reports for work (boring answer). The last bit of fic I wrote was circuit breaker back in May, and it involved far too much research for only 458 words.

Currently Writing: unfortunately nothing. I've got a half dozen fics started that have been languishing in my docs and haven't been touched in over a year. I would love to say it's my entry for the HP Pumpkin Spice Fic Fest, but I haven't even started brainstorming yet 🙃

Tagging: @pia-bartolini @akorah @schmem14 and anyone else who sees this and hasn't been tagged yet!

[lilbittymonster]

Get to know the blogger

Tagged by both @fantasmagoriam and @ainyan, thank you both so much!

Current desktop wallpaper: I have it set to cycle through a bunch but currently it's on this

The last song you listened to: Minotaur Grid by Fixions (spotify | youtube)

Currently reading: I haven't touched a book in several years but the fic currently open on my phone is A Prelude to Ever After by WestmooreTales on AO3

Last movie: The Company of Wolves (1984)

Currently craving: A good steak. I haven't been able to find a good cut of steak in ages :/

What are you wearing right now?: Comfy CritRole sweatpants, my "fuck all this" mandala shirt from my aunt, and a grey flannel from my brother

How tall are you?: 170cm/5'7

Piercings?: Two in each ear, first ones stretched to 4g/5mm. I want more.

Tattoos?: 3 currently. There will definitely be more.

Glasses? Contacts?: Not yet, but I can see (heh) the need for them looming on the horizon.

Last drink: Twinings French vanilla chai

Last food: sandwich from the deli

Last show: Critical Role

Favourite colour: Cobalt blue glass

Current obsession: SO there's this dnd character that I made but then the campaign fell apart, so then I remade her in Final Fantasy XIV, the MMORPG that has a free trial up to level 60 including the aaward-winning expansion Heavensward with no limit on playtime, and now she's got a new family AND two hot elf partners, and in another life she was in a huge messy loving polycule, and in the same shared canon she's got a ton of cool other WoL friends, and then there's ANOTHER au where they're all living in Liverpool, and -*gets dragged offstage still talking about Kitali*

Unrelated obsession: Have you ever looked at a piece of labradorite? Would you like to?

Pets?: I have grown up with cats my whole life but sadly have not had one since moving. I would love to have a cat again someday.

Do you have a crush on anyone?: That's my business 😌

Favourite fictional character: You expect me to pick just one? You insult me.

Tagging: @yloiseconeillants @crackinglamb @raynshyu @livvyshmiv and @buckynats (zero pressure as always)

[maskedemerald]

Hi hi~ What stories/writing have you been working on lately? Gimme a big introduction to your creation(s)!

Hi! I'm currently working on 4 major projects in various states of done... (shoves the large list of back burner projects under the rug.) ignore that rug and instead look under the read more because this got long.

A Curiosity Piqued - The Last Straw

Formerly known as Magi PI

This is the big one right now, like scary levels of big both physically and in terms of my focus. A Curiosity Piqued is a series of short novellaish length stories that I'm writing. They are set in an alternate world and an alternate version of the city I live in. A world where everyone has magic, has had it since the beginning of time and like humans do they have scienced the hell out of it. The stories are full of world building, exploring the world and the lives of various characters within. Nearly all the stories are intended to be able to stand alone so people can start where they like. Kind of like how you can drop in to watching something like CSI at almost any episode and have things make sense.

As you can see this is a big on going project and I haven't even mentioned that subtitle yet! The Last Straw is going to be the first story and it's practically finished! Just some final touch editing and a cover to go! I am both excited and terrified. The story is a Slice of Life/Mystery that introduces one of the characters that a lot of the stories will follow. A soon to be private detective living in the 1800s of that alternate world. Aelfraed is just starting an arc of self discovery. After the stress of family and university get to much for him he takes an impromptu break. He hopes just for some time to settle his mind, instead he ends up stumbling on the attempted murder of a Baker. It's a rush to save the man and then comes the question of who attacked him.

It should be coming out in the next couple of months, I had to push it back due to a few bits of life chaos. End of the summer is what I'm looking at. Oh and as a treat here is something I did for the cover,

Magic Act

An old idea that crawled out from under that back burner rug earlier this year. It's changed so much its almost unrecognisable.

Magic Act is a YA Romance/Mystery with a good amount of horror vibes too. I tackled it's discovery draft for April's Camp NaNo and now I'm working on creating a proper outline for the true first draft.

It's about a trans boy with a passion for magic tricks who after a string of strange disappearances in his town accidentally becomes a witness to one and in his escape falls into a pocket dimension home to the Fae and other folklore creatures. Unfortunately his pursuer is native to the place and has followed him. He now has to trust in a risky Fae ally that might turn on him at any moment while trying to pull of the biggest magic trick of his life... and trying to get back home.

Slow burn and dangerous allies to lovers. Lots of soft horror and spooky Fae and other creatures. Honestly the original idea is boring in comparison to the new one that came about with an unexpected love of writing soft horror. (seriously, this is from someone who hates horror movies but found a certain horror style of writing that was just so my jam)

A Kind of Freedom

This one is old, the first story I ever reached the end of but also my first ever NaNoWriMo. Honestly the ending never sat right but now I'm in the process of rewriting the whole of the ending chapters to something that does fit.

Very much a fantasy adventure this one but it's also one of my more experimental narrators. It's written in first person from the point of view of a spirit who comes to possess the body of a knight's errand boy. It's about the two learning to trust each other when one is literally the others worst nightmare and to unravel a plot by the strange figure that unintentionally got them into this mess.

Oh and this counts as writing too its just not a book,

Light of the Oubliette

It's a visual novel, and it definitely counts. Any game would count. Light of the Oubliette is a story about identity both in the past and the choice of who to be now. It's a mystery game. The protagonist wakes with no memory of who they are and in a cell with a fang of criminals but soon the guards are there and that's where things get complicated. Both sides have a different story for who you are. Guard or Criminal or are they both lying? Try to learn who you were from connecting the stories and spotting the lies but is that who you want to be?

[enterenews]

Bae Jeong-nam, the story of becoming a patriot after filming 'Hero'

“There is no other patriot like him.”

Actor Bae Jeong-nam, who plays the role of vitality with his delightful charm in each work. It seems that it is time for him to attach a new modifier. That's 'Patriot'. Bae Jeong-nam, who played the role of Jo Do-seon, the best marksman of the independence army with 100 shooting skills in the movie 'Hero', is practicing patriotism personally as if continuing the life of an independence activist even after filming. Bae Jeong-nam, who used to collect hip fashion items, is collecting old Taegeukgi one by one before he realizes it. He searches through history books to find out the achievements of independence activists who hurrayed for Korean independence, and preaches their achievements to his acquaintances.

In a recent meeting at a cafe in Samcheong-dong, Jongno-gu, Seoul, Bae Jeong-nam said, "The saying, 'A people who forget their history has no future' touched my heart while filming the movie 'Hero'." He said that after playing the role of the Independence Army on the screen for a while, he felt firsthand how intense their lives were, and he came to live with gratitude every day.

Bae Jeong-nam said that he had fun collecting Taegeukgi recently. While filming the movie, he became interested in Taegeukgi, and that interest led to actual collection and became a ‘Taegeukgi collector’.

“Until now, I was only interested in vintage items. Since filming the movie ‘Hero’, I have kept my eyes on the Taegeukgi and have been collecting it. Currently, I have about 20 Taegeukgi from the 1950s. During the Japanese colonial period, Taegeukgi was hard to find on the market and was precious, so most of them are in museums. So I started collecting Taegeukgi in earnest in the 1950s and 1960s. I have a lot of flags at home. haha."

Bae Jeong-nam confessed that he fell in love with studying history. Whenever I have time, I look for content related to the independence movement on YouTube, and when I have time, I find and read history books and study them. Even during the interview, Bae Jeong-nam confidently asked the reporters, "Does anyone know about Ahn Kyu-hong's righteous army?" As much as he was sincere in history.

“In the past, I just looked at magazines and books, but after filming ‘Hero,’ my interests changed dramatically. Recently, I am interested in Ahn Gyu-hong, the first volunteer soldier in Korea. There is a book called ‘Andamsari’ and there is also a webtoon. What's interesting about this person is that the year he was born and the year he passed away are the same as Dr. Ahn Jung-geun. Since he was from a farmhand, the nobles at first said, ‘What kind of independence movement are you? He came to think that his life was wonderful.”

Bae Jeong-nam said with confidence that he was able to claim the title of actor with the opportunity of 'Hero'. He started acting more than 10 years ago, but he laughs broadly, saying that now he feels like a real actor.

“When I first opened the script for ‘Hero,’ my heart was hot, perhaps because it was my first time to see such a work and character. In fact, since only similar characters come in, it is burdensome to cross the line from the existing characters. You know my subject. However, through this work, it seems that I have sufficiently shown that 'Bae Jung-nam can play this role too?' Now he can confidently say that he is an actor wherever he goes.”

Lastly, Bae Jeong-nam said there was something he really wanted to say to the audience who hadn't seen 'Hero' yet.

“I think our nation is a really great nation. ‘Hero’ is a work that gives a glimpse of how fiercely our ancestors fought for independence in the past. To those who haven't seen the movie yet, 'Avatar: Road to the Water' is good, but I would like to say that it would be nice if you could watch 'Hero' as well. I would like to say with confidence that Koreans must watch ‘Hero’.”

[senseiwu]

Shout out to those of us who feel horribly freaking betrayed by the very same woman who gave us an escape from hell as children, who now can't even think of that same media without feeling horribly sick

I know others like me must exist

Her views don't reflect who you are just because something she wrote gave you hope as a kid.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Distracted

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: Very explicit content, pwp, slight degradation, rough sex, overstimulation, double penetration, threesome, oral (m,f), look the warnings on this one are a lot idk it's filthy

Genre: Smut, PWP, fluff ig

Summary: You notice Steve is distracted while sparring and offer some advice that lands you in an interesting situation

***

Hook left. Duck. Swing right. Dodge. Uppercut. Sweep kick. Tuck and roll. Stumble. Shit. Jab. Before you know it you sweep down and knock Steve onto his back jamming the knife towards him and stopping right before it touches his neck. He huffs out a breath, blinking up at you.

"You're distracted Rogers." You tell him standing up. You hold your hand out to him as you talk, "You're a super soldier standing at six foot something. I've never been able to knock you down in less than an hour and I just got you flat on your back in under twenty minutes."

"I'm sorry." He sighs standing up.

"Spill it." You cross your arms.

"What?" He frowns.

"Clearly something is weighing on your mind. You're too distracted to spar and I know you- you won't be able to get over it until you resolve the issue and if you haven't resolved it yet you obviously need to talk about it. So get talking or I'll tell Tony to bench you." You tell him.

"You wouldn't!" His eyes widen.

"Watch me star-spangled blondie if you can't focus to spar you can't focus to fight and that makes you a liability on missions." You tell him with a shrug. His head tips back and he sighs, running a hand through his hair and you can't help but notice the way his t-shirt tightens around his bicep as the muscles flex.

"Alright, fine. There's a girl." He says. There's you.

"Well, you don't have that dumb lovestruck look on your face which means this girl has you bent out of shape. So what is it? Does she not like you back? Is she taken? Does she not know you exist? Although I don't think there's a single New Yorker that doesn't know Captain America. Does she not know you're Captain America? Is it some online dating situation where you pretended to be normal and now you don't know how to tell her that you're an Avenger?" You rattle off some speculations.

"Where the heck did you get any of those ideas from?" He blinks at you.

"Movies, TV shows, books- the works. But that's besides the point- which is it Rogers?"

"None of the above." He shakes his head.

"Well what is it then? What's got the man with the plan all tangled in knots? I'm on the edge of my seat Cap!" You're being dramatic now, trying to make him laugh- he looks forlorn and you don't like seeing your friend in such distress.

"Buck also likes her." He says. Buck likes you.

"Bucky has a crush! Holy shit that's insane!" You squeal, excited for him. Your dear metal armed pal is so overtly closed off you can't help but be glad that he's opening himself up this way. The fact that he's told Steve means he clearly wants it to go somewhere. Your excitement dies as quickly as it came when you look at Steve's face "oh- shit my bad. I forgot you were- going through it. I'm sorry that was- insensitive to you." You grimace. Steve wants to chuckle at your reaction but he's busy sweating over how risky it is to have this conversation with you. As smart as you are it wouldn't be hard for you to figure out who he's talking about.

"It's fine. That's where we're at though."

"Well- does Bucky know you have feelings for this girl?" You frown.

"No." He says sharply.

"And why not?" You quirk an eyebrow up.

"Bucky deserves something good in his life, and this girl- she's perfect. You know how Bucky is. We both know. If I tell him that I like her- he won't act on his feelings." Steve sighs. You're perfect.

"Right- a few decades in the ice, his years as a hydra assassin not to mention the whole displaced 70 years in the future thing- he doesn't think he deserves anything nice." You sigh.

"The world hasn't been kind to him and if I tell him I like her-"

"America's Golden Boy is tough competition yeah." You nod.

"Yeah- and I can get any girl in New York if I was interested-"

"Well to be fair so could Bucky." You say, your finger trailing across your bottom lip as your mind conjures an image of the large man. You'll admit your friendship with the super soldiers is a conflicting one- at least for you. You do genuinely care about them both, and they're two of the closest friends you've made on the team, but you're also wildly attracted to the two men. You'd never say so- refusing to risk driving a wedge between any of the three of you.

"Y/n!" Steve says incredulously.

"Sorry! I'm just saying- Bucky's hot! And he's kind and funny and thoughtful and- if he saw himself the way we do he could easily have women wrapped around his fingers." You huff. Steve watches with an unreadable expression as you ramble about his best friend.

"All that aside- this is Bucky we're talking about! The fact that he likes her is incredible and that's the part that makes this so important."

"Does she know about his past?" You ask.

"Yes." He nods.

"And she didn't run for the hills?" The smile on your face lets Steve know you're half-joking.

"No! And that's why she's perfect for him." He sighs.

"Okay- so with all that as background I have some questions. Number one- do you plan on making a move on her?" You put up a finger.

"No."

"Ehhh. Number two. Do you plan on telling Bucky that you have feelings for this girl?" You put up a second finger.

"No."

"Wrong answer. Number three. Do you plan on helping Bucky make a move on her?" You put up a third one.

"Probably." He tells you.

"Also the wrong answer."

"What-?"

"Are you insane Steve? You cannot help him with her. Not at the expense of your own feelings." You shake your head profusely.

"He's gonna need help y/n and I'm his best friend."

"He can come to me or Sam. Nat even, Clint is married, I'm sure he can give some advice- I'd honestly rather he go to Tony or Peter before he goes to you for heaven's sake."

"Why?" Steve frowns.

"How much do you care for this girl?" You ask him. He hesitates before letting out a sigh.

"I love her." He admits.

"And Bucky?"

"He does too I'm sure."

"And so you think it's a good idea to help your best friend date the girl that you love?" You blink at him.

"He loves her too, and I know he'll treat her well. I care about them both enough to want them to be happy even if it means that I- that I don't get to be with her."

"And what happens when Bucky finds out you're in love with his girlfriend?"

"He won't. He doesn't know yet and I don't plan to tell him."

"Bucky is not an idiot. He might not know now but trust me- when she's his partner, he will notice. And your best bet is to come clean before he does- because if he finds out on his own everything you do around her becomes suspicious. You sit beside her when the three of you are hanging out, or you see something that reminds you of her and buy it because that's what you do for people, or you go to lunch with her and because you're the 1940s old fashioned gentleman that you are you pay for it- all of those things suddenly have potential to be read wrong by Bucky. And let's say you stop doing all the things that were previously normal in your relationship and she notices then she starts pressing you for answers wondering why things have changed between you- wondering if it has to do with her dating Bucky and gods forbid she puts two and two together that it has to do with Bucky then what? If your friendship means that much to her she might break up with him and if she doesn't it will no doubt put a strain on their relationship. Steve you have to tell him."

"I'd like to believe Bucky and I aren't going to be torn apart over this."

"Then tell him the truth. Because secrets are the easiest way to destroy a friendship. Especially for Bucky- he's got trust issues the size of the twin fucking towers." You tell him.

"I hate you." He mutters.

"I'm right." You shrug.

"I know." He sighs.

"I have another question; does she like either of you?"

"I- I don't know." He says.

"What?" You blink.

"I have no idea. She treats us the same. Sometimes I think she's flirting with me, but then Buck will tell me something she did that sounds like she's flirting with him. I can't tell." He runs a hand through his hair again.

"Well- in that case, you really need to talk to Bucky, because let's say she likes you and not him- he shouldn't be blind sighted by you reciprocating. Plus since you have no reason to assume she likes either of you more than the other- the two of you should have your ducks in a row and then the two of you can decide on the right approach- which may just be telling her the truth and having an open discussion. You're all friends." You tell him.

"I don't like this plan-" he frowns.

"Well it's better than yours." You shrug.

"Yeah but now I have to risk Bucky emotionally retreating."

"Again- you don't know if she likes either of you- she could not reciprocate and then he's crushed either way. But for the sake of your friendships you have to come clean. First to him and then to this girl- well, if that's what the two of you decide to do. Which I think you should because there's no point in stressing over a woman who doesn't want either of you."

"I hate this." He grumbles.

"Oh come on golden boy- honesty should be easy for America's hero." You joke.

"Y/n c'mon." He groans. You sigh.

"Stevie- I get it- this isn't a simple situation but your best bet- is to just be honest. You've known Bucky your whole life so that should be the easy part- hard part comes when you have to confess to your girl. Hey maybe you'll get lucky and she likes you both." You shrug nudging Steve in the side.

"How would that be lucky?" He frowns.

"If you and Buck are open to it you can both date her. Make a cute little throuple." You laugh.

"A- throuple?" His eyes tell you he has no idea what you're talking about.

"Yeah- it's a fun word for relationships involving three people. Three plus couple equals throuple." You explain.

"Oh- you think that could happen?" His eyes widen.

"I can think of a lot of people who wouldn't mind being in a super soldier sandwich. Ooh alliteration."

"I won't get my hopes up for that." He shakes his head. You laugh.

"Well hey- if it were me I'd just date you both. Why choose?" You shrug walking out of the training room. Steve lets out a stressed sigh at your parting words.

Would you really date them both? It's one thing to say it as a joke but if Steve and Bucky asked you in all seriousness to date them- would you actually consider- no. He can't get carried away indulging that idea. First, he needs to talk to Bucky. Just like you said.

***

It takes him days to finally talk to Bucky. It happens when Bucky comes to him after spending the day with you. He's sitting on Steve's bed raving about how amazing you are and he can't help thinking about how he knows everything Bucky is talking about and the words fall out of his mouth before he can stop them.

"I'm in love with her." He tells his friend, eyes downcast.

"What?" Bucky says sitting up to look at Steve.

"Y/n. I'm in love with y/n." Steve says despite the churning feeling in his stomach.

"You're in love with her." Bucky repeats.

"Yes." Steve says even though he wasn't asked a question.

"Did you fall in love with her after you knew I did?" Bucky asks.

"No."

"And you knew you loved her when I told you?"

"I'm sorry Buck I didn't expect- I didn't know you'd fall in love with her. And I didn't know how to tell you- because I thought that if I told you- you'd give up on being with her and that's not- if it's between the two of us I want her to have you."

"Steve-"

"You deserve someone like her- she cares about you deeply. You don't even know the half of it." Steve tells Bucky.

"Yeah but let's be honest if her choices are you and me? She's not picking me." Bucky shakes his head. Steve is silent for what is probably too long for Bucky. He's trying to figure out how to phrase the next part.

"What if- she didn't have to make a choice?" He asks slowly. Bucky blinks at him.

"What?" Bucky scoffs.

"To cut a long story short I talked to her and-"

"You told her?!" Bucky cuts Steve off.

"No! Not technically! We were sparring, it came up, I just told her we were crushing on the same girl and she told me that we should talk to the girl- together. Then she made a joke about the girl dating us both- something about a super soldier sandwich- and that she wouldn't choose- she'd date us both. But I don't think she realizes that- that she's the girl."

"A super soldier sandwich?" Bucky questions.

"Apparently- there's a thing called a throuple. A couple but with three people- that's how she defined it." Steve tries to explain.

"You- You want us to go to y/n- our closest friend- and tell her- that we're both in love with her, and we both want to date her. Together. Is that what you're telling me?" Bucky asks.

"Well it was her idea, she just- doesn't know it's about her. We don't have to do it obviously. I just- wanted to bring it up- because now- if either of us confesses to her she's going to know that the other one is also in love with her and she probably won't make a choice for fear of coming between us or something." Steve tells him.

"It's not- the worst idea. But how would we navigate- dating the same woman?" Bucky frowns.

"I'm assuming a lot of communication. This wouldn't be the first time we've shared something." Steve says.

"Right but this is a human being we're talking about." Bucky says.

"I know- but it was her idea- besides I'm sure if we talked it out we could work out the details."

"You really want us to both date her?"

"Well the alternative is that she chooses one of us- or neither of us for fear of ruining our friendship- and I don't particularly like the odds of those options. So if there's an option that doesn't result in one or both of us losing her- why not?" Steve explains.

"What if she doesn't like either of us?" Bucky asks worriedly.

"I- genuinely don't think so- after our conversation- I think- I think she likes us. But- we can speculate all day, we should just talk to her."

"Well- how would we do this?" Bucky sighs.

"We need a game plan." Steve says.

"Then- let's, make a game plan. Tentatively." Bucky says. This idea is intimidating to him, but he'll admit he'd like to avoid the options that land him or his best friend heartbroken. Besides- he can't say he's opposed to the thought of sharing you with his best friend. The images flashing through his mind send blood rushing downwards.

***

You're sitting in the lounge with a bowl of chips next to you and your laptop in your lap typing away, your feet kicked up on the coffee table when Steve walks in from the hall- probably his bedroom.

"Hey Rogers." You say without looking away from your computer.

"Hey y/n." He calls over his shoulder as he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. "what're you working on?" He asks coming over to you.

"Just finishing a report. What's up?" You look at him when he sits on the table in front of you.

"I talked to Bucky." He tells you. It's been over two weeks since your chat in the gym but you hadn't gotten the chance to ask for any updates. You close your laptop quickly, sitting up to give him your full attention.

"You did? Oh my gosh how did it go?" You ask him excitedly. You're criminally invested in the love lives of your two friends. You really hope things work out for them both.

"It went- better than I expected." He admits.

"Oh come on Stevie you gotta give me more than that!" You scoff.

"I kinda blurted it out very unceremoniously by accident and then I had to explain myself- and then I told him about your suggestion- you know, asking her to date both of us." He explains.

"Oh? What did he say?"

"He was- a little confused. Granted so was I. We probably should've just come to you about it admittedly since it was your idea." He says. You laugh.

"So did you talk to the girl yet?" You ask.

"We're- working on that step." He says.

"What's the holdup?" You joke with him. Steve holds up a finger indicating you to wait a second.

"Hey Bucky!" He calls behind him causing the man in question to join you two in the lounge.

"Oh hi Buck! Wait is this you guys coming to ask me questions about the throuple thing?" You ask looking between the pair as Bucky joins you on the couch.

"Something like that." Bucky mumbles.

"What does that mean-?" You frown.

"Did Steve tell you who the girl was?" Bucky asks. You shake your head.

"I didn't really need to know that to give advice- plus I didn't want to pry." You explain.

"You didn't want to pry?" Steve quirks an eyebrow at you.

"In my defense! I knocked you flat on your back in under twenty minutes while we were sparring. It was a valid inquiry to wonder what had you that distracted." You shrug.

"She beat you while sparring in under twenty minutes?!" Bucky looks at Steve.

"He left that bit out, didn't he?" You laugh.

"It wasn't important to the story Buck." Steve blushes slightly.

"You were that torn up about all this?" Bucky frowns- even though he and Steve had settled things on their end he didn't know the extent of Steve's distress over the matter.

"Not important anymore." Steve shakes it off.

"Hey on the plus side it seems like you two have sorted it out- at least half of it. Now you gotta tell de girl." You tell them, singing the last part to the rhythm of kiss the girl from The Little Mermaid. You throw your head back laughing at your own stupid joke.

"Y/n-" Bucky says placing his hand on your knee. The action stops your laughter. You look at him and note the intensity in his gaze. You glance at Steve and find him giving you a similar look and your mouth runs dry.

"W- what's going on?" You ask unsure of where your gaze should focus. The two of them share a look for a moment.

"We- have a confession to make." Steve announces.

"A confession? This sounds dramatic." You tell them.

"We're in love with you." Bucky says.

"Both of us." Steve adds. Your head snaps between the two of them a few times before your eyes settle on Steve.

"Wait I'm the girl you were telling me about?" Your eyes widen.

"Yes- I'm sorry for not telling you the whole truth the first time I was just worried about what could happen if I did. Especially since Bucky's feelings weren't mine to tell you."

"I understand why you didn't. You were practically in knots over the whole thing." You say.

"Right but then you told me to talk to him, and you told me that we should tell her together and you made that super soldier sandwich joke-" Steve trails. You let out a chuckle.

"Right- my alliteration. Super soldier sandwich. It just rolls off the tongue right? Still proud of that." You nod.

"Here we are confessing our feelings and she's going on about literary devices." Bucky scoffs.

"Make us squirm why don't you?" Steve jokes.

"Sorry- yes this is a serious conversation. We're being serious. Let me make sure I got this right- you're both in love with me, and you are now proposing to me an idea I gave Stevie. Yes?"

"Yes." Steve nods.

"This is ridiculous, isn't it?" Bucky shakes his head.

"Hey! It was my idea. Of course I don't think it's ridiculous. Bucky are you not comfortable with this idea?" You frown placing your hand over his that's on your knee.

"It's not that! I'm just- I'm nervous about this whole thing. I don't want this to ruin our friendships." He admits. "plus I feel like you're stalling because you're trying to figure out how to turn us down." He adds quietly.

"No! That's not it at all. I'm just- a bit shocked that you two have feelings for me and that two one hundred year old super soldiers are actually indulging this idea. You're both so old fashioned in almost everything you do." You tell them. "To clarify I'm- attracted to you both. I just want to make sure this is something you actually want and not something you're offering to me because you think it's what I want." You add after a moment of silence.

"It's what we want." Bucky says.

"And you're not doing this as a safety net?" You ask. When you joked about them dating the same girl you hadn't expected it to come to fruition, and certainly not with you in the middle. You know this isn't normal for either of them and you're worried they're doing this for the wrong reasons.

"A safety net? I feel like I'm risking my entire support system by doing this." Bucky chuckles.

"Bucky you don't have to do this if you don't want to. I promise I won't take it any kinda way." You tell him.

"No I'm not saying I don't want this- I do. I'm just saying this isn't a 'safety net' option for me."

"We're not doing this as a safety net. Bucky and I already talked about it in great detail." Steve assures you. You nod.

"I know this is very out of your comfort zone- for both of you. I just want you guys to be sure." You tell them grabbing Steve's hand and keeping your other hand on Bucky's. Bucky's metal hand comes up to your cheek, turning his head to face him. His icy blue eyes stare into yours intently.

"Y/n- we want this. We want you. We're sure of it." He tells you. Your breath hitches at the sincerity in his eyes.

"Now- the question is, do you want us?" Your head turns toward Steve at his question. He's giving you the same intense look that Bucky had and you find yourself unable to reply.

"Answer him doll." Bucky says. The soft command in your ear causes you to whimper quietly and Bucky's hand instinctively tightens above your knee at the sound.

"Yes." You breathe.

"Yes what?" Steve asks, leaning towards you.

"Yes- Yes I want you."

"Good girl." Bucky groans turning your head towards him again, this time to crush his lips to yours. His lips are soft but demanding as they move against your own in a way that is all-consuming. Steve shifts from the table to the other side of you on the couch. You don't notice the action until he starts kissing along your neck. The feel of his lips on your skin and the body heat on either side of you causes a gasp to fall from you. Bucky uses the moment to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your brain is foggy trying to focus on any one thing. Steve's hand is around your neck as he liters your throat with blooms of red and purple, Bucky's hands are sitting at your waist.

"Pick a room princess." Steve mutters against your skin. Bucky pulls away to let you answer. You blink a few times to focus.

"What?" You croak, your voice thick with want.

"He told you to pick a room babydoll." Bucky chuckles.

"If we're going to continue, we don't want our first time with you to be on the living room couch sweetheart." Steve explains.

"I- I don't know- does it matter?" You look between the two of them.

"Don't overthink it love, we'll fuck you all our rooms eventually anyway." Bucky says and you have to choke back a moan at his words.

"Fuck it let's just go to mine." You reply.

"Perfect." Steve groans turning you towards him to lift you into his arms. Bucky stands with him as you kiss Steve briefly. "c'mere." Steve mutters bringing your lips to his again as he walks down the hall to your bedroom. His kiss is gentler than Bucky's but just as dominating and you groan into the kiss as you tangle your fingers into his hair. Before you realize it you're being tossed onto your bed, the two super soldiers immediately sitting on either side of you. Bucky's hands are at the hem of your shirt tugging it over your head while Steve's hands help you out of your shorts, leaving you in your red bra and black panties. The pieces don't match, but neither of them seems to mind as they stare you down, taking in your half naked body. Bucky's lips are back on yours moments later while Steve peppers kisses along your chest, fleeting touches at the edge of your bra.

"You're so gorgeous princess." Steve mutters against your skin. You sigh when Bucky's lips travel to your neck, covering the areas that Steve left bare earlier. Your hands reach out and slip under Bucky's shirt, dragging your nails down his abs, reveling in the way the muscles contract under your touch and the hiss that falls from his lips. Steve's hands unhook your bra and toss it somewhere else in the room.

"Oh fuck doll, you have such pretty tits." Bucky tells you, taking one of your nipples between his fingers. His twisting and pulling cause whimpers to fall from your lips.

"Ah- B-Bucky." You mewl, your hands grasping at his thigh. Steve's lips suction your other nipple into his mouth. The combined ministrations send shots of pleasure to your core, your pussy aching for attention.

"Stevie." You whimper tugging at his blonde hair. Steve's lips cover yours again as Bucky travels further down your body, a kiss to your thigh alerting you to his presence between your legs. You gasp when cool metal slides up the outside of your leg, contrasting with heated fingers sliding up the other. His hands hook into your panties and tug them off so quickly he rips them. You gasp and pull away from Steve to look at the torn fabric in his hands.

"Did you have to rip them?" You frown.

"It was an accident- but don't worry, I'll replace them doll." Bucky winks at you as he kisses your thigh again.

"Don't get too attached to your underwear princess. We'll probably end up ripping a few more." Steve tells you bringing his lips back to yours.

"As long as you replace whatever you ruin." You mutter against his kiss.

"I like the idea of buying you things to rip them off you when we fuck you stupid." Bucky hums as his lips travel closer to your exposed cunt. Your head falls to Steve's shoulder when Bucky's tongue swipes along your clit.

"Fuuuck." You moan into Steve's neck.

"Holy hell you taste so good doll." Bucky grumbles against you. His finger dips into your hole to collect some of your juices. "Steve you have to taste her." Bucky holds his finger up to his friend. Steve wraps his lips around Bucky's outstretched finger, slurping your essence off of it with a satisfied groan. You can't help the way your walls clench around nothing at the sight.

"Fuck princess, you do taste good." Steve groans. Bucky buries his head back between your thighs, attacking your clit with sharp swipes of his tongue. You busy yourself littering Steve's throat with hickeys between your sounds of pleasure- satisfied by the way he responds to your lips. The feel of cold metal sliding slowly into your heat makes your back arch suddenly as you cry out.

"Ah- God that feels so good." You whimper. Bucky's fingers move quickly between your folds as his mouth focuses solely on your swollen clit. One of your hands threads through his hair, while the other wraps around Steve's arm, clutching him like a lifeline. Your breath is coming out in uneven pants as Bucky's fingers dance around inside you, stretching you, every movement so calculated you'd think Bucky knew your body better than you did, his tongue and fingers moving against you in just the right way to have you hurdling towards an orgasm faster than you thought possible. "B-Buck- ah fuck. I'm-" your attempt at babbling off a sentence is cut short when Bucky sucks particularly harshly on your clit causing you to scream at the sharp stab of pleasure.

"Aw, does our precious baby wanna cum? Is that it princess?" Steve asks forcing you to look at him. The look in his eyes could torch a forest with its intensity but you manage to nod frantically even as Bucky continues to toy with your cunt, fingers fucking into you quickly.

"Use your words for us darling. Tell Bucky what you want." Steve commands as you grind into Bucky's hand and mouth.

"P-p- please. Fuck. Please. I need to cum, please Bucky." You stutter out.

"What do you think Buck? Should we let her?" Steve asks.

"Stevie, Bucky please- please let me cum- I- I need- fuck- please." You moan. Bucky's right hand splays against your hips, holding you down as his fingers drive into you relentlessly.

"You beg so nicely princess." Steve's hand comes up to stroke your cheek and you lean into his touch.

"Please." You whimper as Bucky continues to tongue at your core greedily.

"I think we should let her Buck." Steve says looking down at his friend between your legs.

"Cum for us doll." Bucky growls between your legs. His fingers curl against the spot inside you that causes your body to thrash violently as your orgasm crashes into you like a large wave. Bucky continues to lap at your gushing cunt, working you through one of the strongest orgasms you've ever had.

"Holy fuck." You sigh once you come down. Steve chuckles.

"Are you okay princess?" He asks stroking your arm. You nod.

"I'm great." You smile. Bucky sits up with a smile of his own, his mouth and chin glistening with your slick.

"Hey Stevie, have a taste." Bucky winks at you as he grabs Steve by his neck and pulls him into a kiss that makes your mouth dry. You can't help but watch as Steve yields to Bucky's tongue and in that moment it's clear that in your relationship, Bucky is in charge. When they eventually pull apart Bucky's eyes fall to you. "Steve, why don't you tell her how she tastes." Bucky suggests.

"She tastes great-" Steve croaks.

"I think she liked watching you taste her on my lips. Did you doll?" Bucky continues fixing you with his stare. You nod, not trusting your voice.

"Use your words princess." Steve says looking over at you, seeming to snap out of the submissive state Bucky had him in.

"Y-yes. I- I liked watching."

"Good girl." Bucky says connecting his lips to yours. You moan into the kiss, the taste of yourself mingled with the taste of Steve and Bucky making your head swim. Steve taps your thigh as Bucky pulls away.

"Hands and knees princess." Steve orders. You rush to shift into position as Steve and Bucky move to where they need to be. Bucky is leaning against the headboard with his erection staring at you while Steve positions himself behind you.

"I'm going to fuck your pretty little mouth while Steve fucks your sweet cunt open. Alright doll?" Bucky says, his hand grasping your chin to make you look at him.

"Please." You whimper.

"That's our girl." He beams at you. You lick up Bucky's dick from base to tip once, twice, three times, before swallowing the tip. "Steve, take her." Bucky hisses at the feeling of your mouth as he turns his attention to Steve. Almost immediately you feel the blunt head of Steve's cock pushing past your entrance. You moan loudly, resting your head on Bucky's thigh as the feeling of Steve slowly filling you is almost overwhelming.

"Holy shit, she's so tight and wet and hot." Steve breathes.

"How're you doing doll?" Bucky asks, rubbing your shoulder.

"Good- fuck it feels so good. You're so big Stevie." You moan as Steve bottoms out. You return your attention to Bucky, taking as much of him into your mouth as you can. He groans, tipping his head back for a moment.

"Fuck her Steve." Bucky commands. Steve's response is quick, his hips pulling back and snapping forward sharply. His movements are calculated, perfectly timed to push you towards the edge. Bucky's hands lace through your hair as his hips snap up into your mouth. He holds your head still as he fucks into your mouth, tears springing into your eyes as the tip of his dick batters against the back of your throat in time with Steve fucking your pussy. You clench around Steve as a particularly hard thrust has you moaning around Bucky. "Fuck, Steve- whatever you just did, do it again." He groans. Steve repeats the motion with ease, eliciting the same reaction from you as the first time.

"You like that princess?" Steve asks, adjusting his hips to hit that spot with every thrust, leaving you moaning uncontrollably and you choke on Bucky's cock in your mouth.

"Fuck her harder Steve. Wanna see her fall apart around you." Bucky says yanking you off his dick by your hair. You look up at him in confusion but Steve's increased thrusts don't allow you to hold the look for long as you're pushed forward with the force of his hips against yours.

"F-fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Steve- you f-fill me up so well- fuck it feels good." You moan voice a bit hoarse from the throat fucking.

"Are you close doll? Wanna cum all over Steve's cock?" Bucky asks you.

"Yes- yes yes yes yes please can I cum please please please." You're begging desperately when Steve's hand slips between your legs to toy with your neglected clit. You buck your hips against his hand as he continues to plow into you.

"You look so pretty like this doll, all fucked out and stuffed full of one of our cocks. I bet you'd look even cutter stuffed with both of us." Bucky muses. All you can do is moan at his filthy words.

"Fuck I think she likes that Buck- she just clenched so tightly." Steve hisses.

"What a good little whore." Bucky chuckles and your cheeks heat at the way you feel your body react to degrading name calling. By the way his eyes light up you know Bucky noticed your reaction. "Oh this is an interesting turn of events. You like that? The idea of being our perfect little whore. Being a good little slut for Stevie and me to use however we want huh?" He asks forcing you to look at him.

"Yes- fuck- yes I like it. Bucky- I need to cum so badly. Please- please please can I cum." You beg him with wide eyes as your body writhes in pleasure.

"Fuck you look so good like this." He groans stroking your cheek.

"B-Bucky- Stevie- please- please let me cum." You continue to plead.

"You cum when Steve's ready for you to." Bucky concludes. Steve continues to pound into you, his fingers playing with clit.

"Stevie- please please make me cum please daddy please." You're barely aware of the words spilling from your lips as you beg, desperate for your release. So wrapped up in your own pleasure you don't notice the way the men look at each other until Steve stills behind you, making you whine out in protest. Steve's hand wraps around your throat pulling you up against him as Bucky moves forward, his face inches from yours as he grabs your chin.

"What did you just say Princess?" Steve asks, his lips brushing against your ear. You blink, trying to focus through your sex-clogged haze. What had you said?

"He asked you a question doll. Answer it." Bucky growls.

"I- um- please make me cum?" You reply uncertainly.

"What did you call me princess?" Steve's hand squeezes around your throat. You try hard to remember your last sentence. You called him Stevie- that can't be the cause of this- you'd called him that all night- your eyes widen when you realize what you said.

"Answer the question baby." Bucky smirks. He knows you've figured it out.

"D-daddy." You whisper.

"I don't think I heard you darling, what did you call me?" Steve asks again, squeezing harder at the sides of your throat.

"Daddy. I called you daddy." You choke out, your face heating up.

"Daddy huh, you want daddy to keep fucking you doll?" Bucky taunts.

"Yes." You moan.

"Yes, what?" Bucky asks- curious what honorific you'll assign him. You pause for a moment considering.

"Yes sir." You say. Bucky sucks in a breath- he likes the title.

"Well you'll have to ask him baby- ask daddy to fuck you." Bucky orders sitting back against the headboard.

"Please daddy- please fuck me- destroy my pussy with your cock- please!" You pant out, desperate to feel him move again.

"You heard her Stevie- fuck her open." Bucky says. Steve's hand around your throat slides down to the middle of your back, pushing you forward into Bucky, your face pressed against his abdomen as Steve's hips start up again. He sets a harsh rhythm of fast and hard thrusts that have you crying out in pleasure, your hands finding purchase in Bucky's thighs as Steve fucks you.

"Daddy- please can I cum- please daddy, please!" You plead. Steve's hand reaches around your waist and rubs rough circles around your clit.

"Cum for me princess- cum all over daddy's dick." Steve grits out and like his words control your body- your orgasm washes over you quickly.

"You look pretty when you cum darling." Bucky says.

"Thank you sir." You moan as Steve continues to fuck you as your orgasm fades.

"Fuck- fuck I'm close." Steve groans.

"Please- please daddy- fill my pussy with your cum daddy- please I want it so badly." You moan.

"You heard her Stevie- make her all messy for me." Bucky says. Steve's hips stutter as he paints your walls white, the heat of his cum causing you to moan.

"Fucking hell." Steve sighs. Bucky reaches behind you to caress Steve's cheek, helping to ground him. Steve pulls out of you slowly and lays beside you.

"How are you feeling doll?" Bucky asks you.

"Empty." You pout as your pussy pulsates around nothing, Steve's cum leaking out of you slowly.

"Empty huh? What's wrong doll? You haven't had enough yet? You wanna be fucked again?"

"Please sir." You nod with a whimper. Bucky slides off the bed and your eyes follow him as he speaks again.

"You're a greedy little slut aren't you." He scoffs flipping you onto your back. You moan in response.

"Please fuck me sir." You moan spreading your legs for him to get a good look at your messy cunt. The mix of your juices and Steve's cum dripping between your folds causes Bucky's eyes to darken, steel blue practically disappearing behind dark pupils.

"That I can do." He growls sliding into you, the sloppiness of yours and Steve's fluids making it easy. Your head falls back with a moan at being full again. Bucky is a little thicker than Steve but just as long. He's still inside you for one moment before his hips are snapping forward sharply. His thrusts are more forceful than Steve's were. He fucks you like he's trying to possess your body, like he's trying to own you completely.

"S-sir- fuck sir- you feel so good." You cry out when Bucky's thumb reaches down to rub your clit in rough circles.

"Cum for me doll- wanna feel you cum on my dick." Bucky huffs out. Your back arches as your orgasm washes over you.

"Pretty girl." Steve leans over to kiss you sweetly as Bucky continues to fuck you through it. You moan into Steve's mouth when Bucky's thumb continues to toy with your clit.

"Come on darling, gimme another one. I love the way your pussy feels when you cum doll. Do it again." Bucky growls.

"Sir I-I can't." You whimper. It's too much too soon but Bucky seems to think otherwise as he chases his own release.

"You can and you will. Cum doll." He orders. Steve's lips leave yours in favor of wrapping around one of your nipples, his fingers pulling and tweaking at the other one. The added attention soon forces you over the edge into another orgasm that takes you completely by surprise when it crashes into you. "Good girl. Such a perfect little whore." Bucky groans as your pussy clenches around him. A few strokes later, Bucky's hips stutter as he cums inside you with a shaky moan. He buries his head in the crook of your neck as the aftershocks of his orgasm wear off.

"Are you okay Buck?" Steve asks running his hand through his friend's hair. Bucky's silent for a moment before, with a sigh, he slowly slides out of you and rolls over to lay on your other side.

"Never better." He smiles before rolling out of bed.

"Where are you going?" You ask with a frown. He picks you up bridal style and you let out a tiny yelp of surprise as you wrap your arms around his neck.

"We are going to clean you up." He says kissing the top of your head. Steve follows the both of you to the bathroom where the two of them clean you up and get you into some new clothes. When they're done Steve carries you to his room.

"We're gonna shower and fix up your room. We'll be right back princess." Steve tells you before the two exit, Steve to his own bathroom and Bucky down the hall- presumably to his or your room. You force yourself to stay awake until both men have returned and climb into Steve's bed on either side of you.

"Now what?" You mumble into Bucky's chest.

"Now, we take a nap." Bucky says.

"Then when you wake up we can properly discuss our relationship moving forward." Steve says draping an arm around your waist.

"We did that a little out of order." You muse.

"When have we ever done things in order?" Bucky chuckles.

"Stevie likes order." You say tracing shapes in Steve's arm that's around you.

"Where you're involved I can live with chaos." Steve says kissing your shoulder. You're laying between your two best friends after having undoubtly the best sex of your life about to get into a relationship with them.

"Who would have guessed this is where we'd end up when I knocked you on your ass a few weeks ago." You mumble sleepily. You feel more than hear the two men laugh as sleep finally claims you as they both kiss you on the forehead.

***

[yano2519]

I'm not sure if the new IC make OL better or worse. To me it looks like they want to avoid any approach of intimacy in the new season. Is it just me?

First of all, I would like to say that I liked the first two episodes, especially the 2nd one. I haven't read the book yet, because I got into the habit of watching the season first and reading the book afterwards, so I can't judge to what extent the episodes match the book so far.

But I've liked what I've seen so far. As for the IC, I don't think the point is to avoid any intimacy, but I agree that some scenes between JC seem more emotionless than before.

I don't mean that we don't see nude scenes anymore (I think we agree that times are over) but more, those emotions that they radiated through looks, touches and kisses. Sex scenes like in OL exist in many other series/movies as well, for example in the series Power, which is also on Starz.

The difference in chemistry for me was always that SC were able to create emotion, just through their eye contact and small touches like no other acting couple. For example, this scene. And here I actually didn't see any difference between the fiktive characters JC and the actors SC.

I haven't seen that in the new seasons and that's exactly what part of Vanessa's job is, at least if you believe her last interview. „It is also that we have to make that distinction between character and actor at the end of the day. That’s the trickiest part – how do we separate the character’s sex life from the actor’s sex life and make choices that are informed from character, not from what we might personally bring from our own lives into the room“

And honestly, if SC had succeeded in this separation personally/acting from the beginning, the last 7 years of her "private" life would probably have been much more relaxed.

[rasnak2]

ok but rasnak, a '96 rambheem au?? ram is ram and bheem is janaki. they fall in love while studying in a smalltown school and then ram moves away and bheem marries jenny and settles abroad. (because this is same-sex love and the school story is set in the 90s, internalized homophobia and societal pressure can also be reasons for their separation). bheem comes back for the reunion and realizes he's still in love with ram and it's the same for ram 💔💔💔

or

bheem is ram and ram is janaki and sita is ram's wife (lol i know, the names) and she's super understanding and patient with him just like janaki's husband in the film. bheem is a wildlife photographer and meets ram after years and sparks fly. oh and let's not forget that famous scene from the film. bheem travelling all the way from his city on his bike to ram's college only for a misunderstanding to get in the way of their meeting 😭😭😭😭 and he also attends ram's wedding but doesn't have the courage to stop it cuz he thinks ram hates him ahhhh god let me go and weep in a corner

(a kadhale kadhale songfic 🥺🥺)

Damn dude! Did you just read my mind????? Cuz I was just rewatching the movie and like are you seriously reading my mind with that first idea?? That tiny misunderstanding and the subsequent heartbreak for Ram or Bheem? Ooooffff. School lovers separating and reuniting after a hella long time in a reunion? Adding fuel to the fire, along with the homophobia and the society, the duo also try to run away from home but gets caught by their parents. And they are living in the 90s. Someone, please gimme this!

And Bheem riding a bike for such a long distance just for heartbreak breaks my heart and makes me want to read it all the more! And Damn if Ram didn't notice Bheem in his wedding and all that! I am sure Ram noticed but he decides to stay silent as Bheem walks away before he could say anything. My god the angst angst... Like wow! And adding more fuel to the fire, the second AU can also contain SitaJenny who are separated under similar circumstances :3

On a side note, WILDLIFE PHOTOGRAPHER BHEEM!!!!!!!!! Tbh when I first read that statement I was immediately transported to Maddy and his wildlife photography in 3 Idiots and which later on made me remember the time I had shipped Farhan and Rancho and-

Ok I know I am going off course but Rambheem with Ram as Rancho and Bheem as Farhan. Ram moves away after getting his degree and Bheem is heartbroken and gets to meet Ram after 10 years only he has been festering in the hope that he'll be able to propose to Ram someday cuz they had been in a relationship before Ram just vanished in thin air.

... or we can have a mash-up of 96 and 3 Idiots where Rambheem are school lovers, misunderstanding happens, meet back up in college, rekindle the relationship only for Ram to disappear and meet up back again at the school/college reunion.

As for the songfic, Idk if I would be able to make one but if I do, you'll find it in your asks *looks at the exam timetable that starts on Monday and I haven't even touched the book yet* Yeah...

[memelovescaps]

I posted 1,910 times in 2021

17 posts created (1%)

1893 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 111.4 posts.

I added 1,317 tags in 2021

#severus snape - 317 posts

#harry potter - 185 posts

#pro snape - 135 posts

#snape - 116 posts

#doctor who - 110 posts

#whouffaldi - 104 posts

#clara oswald - 101 posts

#snarry - 84 posts

#twelfth doctor - 83 posts

#odds and ends on sunday morning - 82 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#the way they go from knowing each other so intimately to probably having to interact like total strangers at first if they ever reconciled

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I come here today to blurt out I have been obsessed with Pride and Prejudice (yet again) for two weeks. No, I haven't just found it out, I read it about 15 years ago. And yes, I've been watching the 2005 movie, the 1995 BBC series, and I've been reading (or listening) to the book; all of which I had watched or read years ago.

So yeah. Completely obsessed.

Thanks @abbieemmons for your video "why everyone loves mr. Darcy" which made me rewatch the movie and fall in love again.

7 notes • Posted 2021-05-26 20:16:41 GMT

#4

Hi lovely 💙 For the fanfic writers asks please, 1, 11, 17. 👀

Hiiii my friend!!!

Wow let me see.

1.

A SNARRY, all the way!! Long time ago I used to spend my time on a website for Spanish slash fanfiction, and we had a ton of fun. We even created "La Mazmorra del Snarry", the Dungeons of Snarry. It was around 2006-2007, and I'm sure I would cringe myself if I read that fic again. But I was passionate enough to start writing, and here we are!

11.

I like a bit of everything. But definitely, fluff. I'm a sucker for hurt/comfort fluffy fics, and I can survive without angst or smut. So, there it is.

17.

The fic I'm most proud of changes every once in a while. The one I'm writing now, for example, but I think it must be because I'm in the middle of writing it.

I'd say, probably, a fic I did for our Clara's Diner discord server Whouffle Week 2020. It was a Doctor Who fic, the prompt was "eternity/fairytales" and I adored writing that. Plus, I gave Clara and Twelve their eternity and it felt like closure for me.

8 notes • Posted 2021-11-10 09:59:26 GMT

#3

TWO HEARTS ARE BETTER THAN ONE

My new The Mandalorian fanfiction starring our favourite found family!

Check it out:

Fanart not by me, I found it on Pinterest, but for the life of me can't find now who did it.

Cover made by me using Canva.

9 notes • Posted 2021-02-03 12:03:27 GMT

#2

It's Valentine's Day today and over at Clara's Diner discord server we had fun organizing a fanwork exchange.

This is my piece written for @bowserbabe, I hope you like it!

Have a really happy Valentine, everyone!

17 notes • Posted 2021-02-14 08:31:39 GMT

#1

I didn't just have an idea for a fic.

In which Albus is wandering around the castle as a good Potter, and finds the portrait of Snape in a darkened corridor of the dungeons.

And almost without wanting to, they become friends. And trusts things to the portrait he would never say to anyone else. Not even Scorpius.

And one day, the pressure of being a Potter and his father's reputation is too much. He walks to the corridor and curls up against the wall, quietly sobbing. Severus is only looking, offering him silent support, until Albus whispers "I wish you could give me a hug".

And Severus is so surprised and touched he doesn't answer. Only nods. For once, he wished he too was able to give hugs.

39 notes • Posted 2021-11-01 12:00:02 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[igotyouniverse]

Breathe Me - Chapter 2 [nct vamp au]

Description: After dropping out of college and coming home for the first time in two years, 22-year-old Ava Lee gets caught up in a mystery surrounding the people she thought she knew for so long. Between friendship, affairs and true love the young women finds herself being pulled into a  nightmare she would never wake up from.

Pairing: Oc x Taeyong , Oc x Johnny [side: markxoc, tenxoc, lucasxoc, jaehyunxoc]

Included Members: Taeyong, Johnny, Mark, Lucas, Ten, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Haechan (maybe more)

Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst, Fantasy

Warnings: some swearing I guess and some umm angst (this chapter)

suggestive content, strong language, violence, blood, death. probably more, not sure yet (later chapters)

a/n: yeah who doesn't like awkward encounters in cafés and bookstores? Plus an awkward party with a big surprise? Sign me up. Anyway, that's the second chapter for this baby. I got carried away a lot, so it turned out a lot longer than expected but I honestly didn't want to split it up. A lot is happening! I'm honestly so excited for the third one as the main plot will start there and let me tell you – it will go WILD, haha. Enjoy ♥

ch. 1 || ch. 3

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“Oh, hey Ava. Haven't seen you in forever. How are you? That's exactly what he said.”, Ava told her best friend while savouring her freshly baked croissant.

Yunmi sighed and took another sip form her third coffee. “I mean you actually didn't see him in nearly three years.”

Ava shot her friend a glance and snorted. “Yeah, well, that's not my bad. He decided to completely ignore me for no reason at all.”

“Yeah, because he's a jerk. That's a fact.”, Yunmi said with a smile, trying to comfort her friend.

“Totally.”

“A handsome jerk, tho.”, Ava added and drank a sip of her water, trying to avoid her friend's gaze.

“Yup, we all got eyes. But I still don't get it. I mean you two didn't even hook up, did you?”, she felt Yunmi's eyes staring holes in her body.

“No, I've told you a hundred times. We just kissed. I think I'd remember if I hooked up with fucking Johnny Suh.”, Ava sighed with frustration in her voice. Of course she thought Johnny was attractive. Well, not only attractive. It was like she was just drawn to his simple presence. Not to mention, that he was funny, smart, caring and overall just a good person. Or that's what she thought before he decided to just erase her out of his life.

She just couldn't get a hang of it. The memories she had of that night were just magnificient. The farewell party was fun and chill. Everyone enjoyed themselves while dancing or just having drinks. She wasn't even that buzzed, especially not in the moment she remembered so clearly it even felt a little surreal sometimes. But she could remember so clearly how she talked to Johnny for hours about everything. It wasn't the typical smalltalk they usually had – she told him about her worries for university, her feelings about this god forsaken town and even managed to tell him that he crushed on him for years, not having the balls to ask him out. Him being the best friend of her brother didn't make the whole situation easier, though.

And then, just like in all these movies she binge-watched with Yunmi he actually kissed her. And not like a friend, no, she remembered his lips on hers so clearly. The softness of them and how perfectly fit on hers like they were just meant to be. Yet, it felt like a dream sometimes. She felt how much passion the kiss had, it was breathtaking, like a sweet drug she couldn't get enough from and yes, she absolutely would've slept with him but she knew that he was a gentleman. They just chuckled at each other before he brought her home, promising to call the next day before her flight would take off.

But that never happened.

“Maybe you should try talking to him? Like face-to-face. You won't be able to avoid him forever, especially because of Mark.”, Yunmi said and tried to read her friends emotions but Ava just chuckled.

“Watch me.”

The café Yunmi picked out was next to the bookstore Mark worked at. Ava remembered how the spot was always closed and under construction but apparently it opened a few months ago. The style was simple and comfy. It was a light store with paintings on the walls and different types of plants everywhere. Huge windows allowed a view over the main street and the small park right in the middle. It seemed oddly familiar to Ava, even though she never set a foot in this building. But something just felt like she's been there before but she couldn't figure it out.

“I need more coffee.”, Yunmi said and pouted looking at her empty cup.

“Dude, that was your third coffee.” Ava laughed and looked at her friend, with just a tint of worry in her eyes.

“Happens when you work as a nurse. Night shifts are just so tiring here. Nothing happens anyway but I wasn't able to take a nap because I had to do all these papers.”, she said annoyed and pouted at Ava, holding up her empty cup.

The girl sighed and smiled, standing up to get her friend her needed refill.

Ava went up to the empty counter and looked for the young waiter she saw earlier but to her surprise another young man came out, looking at her with warm eyes.

“Can I get a refill please?”, she asked politely and handed the guy the cup after he nodded. His eyes focused on her for just a second, but for her it felt longer. Did she know him? His hair was dyed in a ashy-blonde color, hair framing his delicate facial features. His eyes looked warm yet they had something deep and maybe even dark about them. The way he moved looked elegant. She eyed him just for a second longer, trying hardly to think why he looked so familiar. She even felt like she somewhat heard his voice before. She squinted her eyes trying to take a look at his name tag but apparently he didn't even wear one.

“Here. Do you need something else?”, he asked.

Ava froze for a split second, realized how impolite it was to stare at a person as bluntly as she did.

“No, thank you. I really like the place, though. It's pretty.”, she smiled lightly and took the cup.

The guy thanked her, his face lightened up, a smile appearing on his face, which made her feel warm all of a sudden. Why did his smile see so familiar?

She hurried back to the table her friend was sitting, giving her her desperately needed caffeine.

“Who's the guy at the counter?”, Ava asked.

Yunmi immediately turned around to take a look at who her friend meant.

“Taeyong. He owns this place.”

After Ava stayed silent, not quite sure if she knew him or not, Yunmi added,

“He lives together with Johnny and Jaehyun in that house. We met him there once, don't you remember?”, Yunmi asked and raised a brow.

“I don't know. I guess? You know how bad my memory is.”, Ava chuckled and stared at her glass of water before giving her friend a smile.

Honestly, she wasn't sure if she remembered. Maybe she did meet him back then. Maybe not.

“He's cute, isn't he? He even makes the pastries himself.”, Yunmi said and took a bit of her sandwich after inhaling her coffee.

“Yeah, he is nice, I guess.”, Ava said, looking over at the counter where Taeyong stood. She saw how his eyes met hers, holding the eye-contact for just a bit before he turned around and went to the back.

Weird.

“There will be a party tonight at their house.” Yunmi said, eyeing her friend once more. After Ava didn't answer right away Yunmi sighed.

“We should go. It will be fun.” she added.

“Since when do you want to go parties?”, Ava asked her friend, raising her brow. As long as she remembered Yunmi and her weren't the type of girls who went to parties. They usually preferred a good movie night with food over drinks and bad music. Even in college, Ava didn't attend many of those famous college parties she heard about.

“Their parties are usually really nice.”, she smiled softly and started to play with a strand of her brown hair.

“Mh-mh. Their parties or just someone at their parties?”, Ava teased her friend, poking her cheek.

Yunmi pouted a light shade of red on her cheeks. She caught her.

“Well, you won't know if you don't join.”, Yunmi poked out her tongue at Ava, laughing softly at her.

“Fine. But if I see Johnny I'll leave.”, Ava said firmly and looked at her hands for a second. She really didn't want to attend another party where he was after the last time, even if it was years ago.

“He lives there, genius. Of course he will be there. But it will be fun, I promise. Maybe you could even use the chance to talk to-”

A glance of Ava cut her friends words off, holding her hands up in defeat.

“Fine. Or ignore him. Just come with me. I'll introduce you to some cool people, okay?”

The girl groaned until she gave in.

“Okay. I will be there. Mark probably wants to go too, anyway.”, Ava said and rummaged in her bag, trying to find her phone.

“Probably.”, Yunmi answered, seemingly uninterested if the boy would join them or not.

“Mh, can't find my phone.”, Ava muttered, unable to find anything in her bag anyway.

“Well, the bookstore is right next-door, I'll just ask him there. I think he's working.”, she looked to her best friend who seemed to have spaced out for a second.

“You join me?”, she asked, touching Yunmis hand for a second. Her best friend shook her head, smiling at her.

“No no, I need to take a nap and a shower before the party. Just, um, say hello from me, will you?”, Yunmi stood up, taking her jacket over her arm, helping to put the empty plates and cups on the empty counter.

“Yeah, sure. See you then.”, Ava said putting the rest of the plates on the counter, a bit surprised about the sudden haste her friend was in.

She sighed taking a look around the café once more before leaving it for the day. Ava tried her best to not overthink the whole situation and slowly walked to the next door on the street, leading into the small bookstore her younger brother worked at.

She strolled through the filled shelves, inhaling the magnificent scent of all the bound books walking up to her most favourite isle – old classics. Her fingers trailed over the spines, feeling their different textures. She used to read a lot, every week a new book in her hand, ready to savour it in just one sitting. Back then, it felt easy to just sit down, a book in her hands and shutting the world out completely, focusing only on the words forming these beautiful pictures inside her head, making all these thoughts haunting her in real life go away just like that. When did she lose this talent? Nowadays, she just couldn't get herself to actually read a book. She continues to buy them, placing them prominently on her nightstand, in hopes for her to just grab it in the evening but the pile of books just grew bigger and bigger over the weeks until she finally stopped to even buy them. She hoped to get back into her once most loved hobby. Even if it was just for a few minutes.

“Hey, didn't expect you to visit me.”, she heard Mark saying and turned around, a big smile on her lips.

“I wanted to surprise you, I've actually met with Yunmi. We had breakfast in the café next door.”, Ava answered and looked at her brother. She chuckled mildly. He looked so grown-up and mature in his plain black shirt with his round glasses on, his dark hair falling into his face. She realized how different he looked from the last time she saw him. Unbelievable that he was already 20 years old.

“Oh-Uh, yeah it opened up a few weeks ago. The owner is Jaehyun and Johnny's roommate.”, Mark said after he scratched the nape of his neck. “H-How's Yunmi? She alright?”, he asked casually while sorting a book from his hand into the shelv.

“Yeah, I guess. She said hello but had to rush home.”, Ava answered, shrugging her shoulders.

She eyed her brother and how he fumbled with the hem of his shirt, he seemed to want to say something but decided not to.

“Anyway.”, he exhaled loudly and cleared his throat before smiling at Ava. “I'm happy you're visiting. Want me to show you around? I mean you technically know it, though.”, her brother chuckled.

But as the good sister she is she nodded and let her brother show her all the different types of book they had and which authors occasionally came to give a reading. Seeing his eyes lighten up just by the name of  these authors made her heart melt. He explained passionately the several differences in their writing techniques and why they were his favourites. He told her how he fell in love with classic literature, especially romance and tragedy.

Ava listened to him swooning over different works and their means to past society, yet he even read modern novels. She looked at all the books, most of them she already read by herself when she was younger. She felt proud seeing him glowing up, doing what he loved without hiding.

“I just hope I'll be half as good as them.”, she heard her brother sighing when he put down the last book.

Ava put a hand on his slim shoulder and smiled at him warmly.

“I’m sure you will be. Trust me, I will be your biggest fan!”, she laughed and ruffled his hair, making him scrunch his nose before trying to fix his hair.

“Please. I appreciate the encouragement but it's still a long way. Plus mom and dad are still not very fond of the idea of me becoming an author. They think it's still a phase and that I will soon realize it's stupid and become a doctor like – well.”, he shrugged his shoulders before speaking out his thoughts.

Ava bit her lip. “I will tell them.”, she said, not believing her answer.

“When will you, though? I mean, I'm not pressuring you. I get it, it's hard but don't you think it will be even harder the longer it lasts? They're not stupid.”, Mark said looking at his sister, his eyes were filled with worry.

“I know. I'm just – imagine their disappointment. I need a plan, you know?”, she muttered, trying to avoid his gaze. She felt guilty for lying but she would feel even worse seeing the disappointment in her parents eyes when they realize she wasn't that perfect daughter they saw her as.

“Promise me you'll figure something out, okay? It's not healthy.”, he said, looking up when he heard the door open.

“Yes, I promise. Just give me some more time, will you?”, she pleaded at him, pouting as best as she possibly could.

“Sure.”, he rolled his eyes, sighing deeply before he put on a smile and waved at the new customer.

Ava turned around and saw two young men walking in.

“Hey guys, what are you doing here?”, Mark said and smiled, walking up to his friends.

Ava just sighed, silently asking the universe why it made life for her that hard.

“Hi.”, she just briefly said, trying not to look directly into Johnny's eyes. She even managed to ignore him and just gave Jaehyun a smile which he joined.

“Long time no see. You look good.”, Jaehyun said and brushed his hand briefly at her arm.

Ava chuckled, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.  “Thanks.”

She felt Johnny looking at her standing next to Jaehyun, eyeing both of them. Just like she wanted him to do.

“We're actually looking for books for the café. Taeyong wants to have some more for visitors to read.”, Johnny said after clearing his throat. Ava's eyes wandered to Johnny's just for a quick second but she already found herself being mesmerized by his presence once again. She liked the way he wore his black hair, the strands falling into his face just perfectly. Her gaze locked at his lips while he spoke with Mark about the books Taeyong wanted and even though the name still rang a bell in the back of her head she couldn't free herself from the way Johnny's lips moved. She knew how soft they felt, recognizing the feeling just too well.

Her thoughts moved back to that night like they always did and the urge to confront him about why he decided to let her hang like that grew stronger. She knew that it would probably was just a kiss for most people but for her it felt so differently. It was romantic and intimate, just how she imagined kissing him over and over again when she was younger. Plus, him declaring his feelings for her made that memory even more perfect. Yet, it all shattered when he ignored her.

She felt a hand on her back and then a breath at her ear, before Jaeyhun whispered

“You good?”

She felt the grin on his face when she rolled her eyes and nodded.

For a split second she saw how Johnny turned his head towards her, looking away just another second later, continuing to talk to Mark.

“Will you be at our place tonight?”, Jaehyun asked, not moving his hand from her back.

“I guess so. Yunmi asked me, too.”, Ava smiled at Jaehyun, wordlessly thanking him.

“Well, you can't say no now. I'd be happy if you came.”, he smiled at her paired with a short wink before laughing with her.

She heard Johnny clearing his throat and looked up to him.

“Anyway, we should head back to the café or Taeyong will be mad at us for leaving him alone for too long.”, he said while taking books off Mark's arms he seemed to have collected for them.

“Sure.”, Jaehyun said and smiled at the others, before looking down at Ava again. “See you tonight then, can't wait.”, he said, stroking her back slightly before leaving behind Johnny.

Ava felt her brother's piercing gaze on her back while she tried to look away, shrugging her shoulders.

“Stop staring at me like that.”, she hissed at Mark and rolled her eyes. She finally looked at him but he just shook his head, wanting to say something but all he did was open his mouth for a second before closing it again, raising both of his hands.

“None of my business.”

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Ava's head felt already heavy without any alcohol in it. She stared at the dark street in front of her, trying to concentrate on driving the car her parents gladly allowed them to use to drive to the party. Of course, she didn't even want to drink. She didn't even want to attend the party at all but she had to admit that she was curious – curious about how the people had changed, curious about how they'd behave and obviously curious about certain of these people whose names she didn't want to think about again.

Even when the last time she visited the house was three years ago she remembered the way so clearly as if she'd just was there yesterday. She took a glance at Mark who was sitting next to hear, looking out of his window, seemingly way up in his own thoughts she wished to read.

Ava sighed quietly, focusing her eyes on the street. She felt anxious about meeting all these people. No one knew about her not so graceful career, still thinking she studied medicine on some ivy league college back in the city everyone dreamed of living.  The thought of them asking all these questions she already had to answer her parents made her shiver. Maybe she should just hide in a closet until Mark wanted to go back home. Would be smarter than awkwardly running into someone again – once a day is enough.

Yet she took hours to get ready, carefully picking out an outfit, lipstick and the way she wore her hair,  trying to look casual but not too casual. The chance of running into him was just too high for her to not try to make herself look presentable.

The street got more narrow, leading into the woods where the house was.

“I still don't get why they're living in the woods.”, she sighed and looked at Mark for a second before driving on the long gateway leading to the house.

“Taeyong inherited it from his grandma or something.”, Mark answered, waking up from his thoughts.

Ava just nodded, already seeing some more cars and people standing outside. She couldn't see enough to look at their faces. The girl quickly parked the vehicle and stretched her arms once she got out, looking around. The late summer air was still warm and comfortable yet one could sense the upcoming autumn as some leaves slowly turned darker.

The siblings walked down the path leading to the entrance, which led to a huge front yard. It was lighted with small paper lamps, showing off some of the landscaping done. She even heard a fountain splashing somewhere. She looked around, not quite sure if she'd remember the place at all. The house was surrounded by a traditional stone fence and she wondered how old it was. Ava could already hear the people enjoying themselves, with loud music pounding in her ear.

From what she saw through the darkness and the sparse light the house itself looked huge enough to  probably fit a hundred people. The door was left open, shoes flooding the entrance area.

After bumping into dozens of people greeting her, smiling and waving she helplessly looked at Mark who was still right behind her looking for someone.

“You made it!”, Ava heard Yunmi screaming in her hear, an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss on her cheek. Ava could smell a note of alcohol in her friend's breath and chuckled.

“How much did you already drink?”, she asked but Yunmi waved her off, her gaze meeting Mark.

“Oh hi Mark. Nice to see you, how are you?”, she asked politely while resting her head on Ava's shoulder.

“Uhm, I'm good thanks. And you?”, he scratched is neck, looking away, probably trying to find his own friends.

“Life's great.”, she answered and laughed, removing her head from her friend's shoulder to take a sip from her cup, shaking it in front of Ava's face.

“Want something? I can totally mix you a drink.”

“No, thanks. I don't drink.”, she answered and smiled apologetic.

“I'm gonna look for Johnny. Hit me up when you want to go home, alright?”, Mark said and disappeared in the moving crowd of people.

“I take it you don't want to look for Johnny?”, Yunmi asked her friend, directly looking at her, rolling her eyes when Ava shook her head.

“Nope. So, who are these cool people you wanted me to get to know?”, Ava smiled.

Yunmi entangled her fingers with hers and dragged her through the crowd, brabbling something about a girl and a boy.

Not long after Ava spotted to semi-familiar people her friend shouted at. A girl with a black long bob smiled warmly and waved.

The boy, a bit shorter than her, with short black hair smiled and greeted her. “Ava, you must remember Ten and Sunhyung, right? We went to Highschool together.”, Yunmi introduced them but Ava wasn't exactly sure who they were. She barely remembered anyone from Highscool, though. At least not their names.

“We were in another class, though.”, Sunhyung chuckled.

“Nice to meet you. So what are you guys doing?”, Ava asked them.

“Well, we're actually officers right now. Ten is my partner.”, Sunhyung explained and smiled at Ten, who just nodded and raised his cup.

“Not on duty tonight, though.”, he winked and exed the rest of the liquid.

“Yunmi told me you're studying medicine? Pretty cool. How's life in the States? This town must bore you to death.”, Sunhyung chuckled and looked at her cup, seemingly disappointed that it was empty.

“I'm actually enjoying it. It's like a vacation.”, Ava answered and hoped no one would ask her to further elaborate on her studies, which weren't even real.

“I'd give everything to travel to a real city. The only “crimescenes” we're looking at are rather boring. It's mostly just noise disturbance or someone's speeding who isn't from here.”, Sunhyung rolled her eyes.

“Hey, last week we had one burglary!”, Ten protested.

“You mean the sixteen-year-old boy who stole some Vodka from the store? How exciting.”, his partner answered sarcastically and laughed.

“I need a refill, you want something?”, Yunmi asked in the group as she apparently spotted something at the bar which needed her attention.

Ten and Sunhyung both nooded eagerly. She didn't bother to look at Yunmi, knowing she'd say no anyway.

Ava's eyes followed her friend to the bar, by which a tall young men stood. She saw how Yunmi straightened her back and smiled at the guy, who she probably knew. Ava noticed how her friend pushed her long hair back and saw how her mouth formed into a laugh after the boy said something. Ava tilted her head, trying to figure out if the knew him or not. She would probably remember a guy like him. He was handsome, yet his face had something sheepish when he talked to Yunmi.

“That's Lucas.”, she heard Sunhyung say and snapped out of her thoughts, “He moved her two years ago. Always hangs out with Johnny and the rest.”, she added and Ava raised her brows. She was pretty sure she never saw or even heard of him before.

“I swear Yunmi has the biggest crush on him. Always swooning over his hands or something.”, Ava heard Sunhyung continue and asked herself why exactly her best friend didn't tell her anything about that guy.

“Well, quite obvious that they're flirting.”, Ten added and nodded.

“Yeah, I'm betting they end hooking up tonight.”, said Sunyhung.

“Never. Both won't make the first moves. They're flirting for months and nothing interesting happened.”, her partner replied.

“Got it in my guts. Tonight is the night.”, Sunhyung nodded with a stern voice.

“Pff, wanna bet? 50 they won't hook up.”, Ten chuckled.

“Make it 100.”, Sunhyung answered, looking at her partner while shaking his hand.

Ava's gaze meanwhile scanned the room for someone else. As if someone read her thoughts, Johnny came down the stairs with Mark right behind him.

Johnny's eyes met Ava's for a moment and she clenched her jaw. She noticed how he was moving towards her and how her heart began to beat faster in her chest.

“I'm gonna get some water or something. Be right back.”, she mumbled and quickly disappeared in the crowd, trying to keep herself as small as possible. Her eyes searched for a kitchen, which she finally found. Gladly, there weren't any people in it. Probably because the whole alcohol was at the bar and no one here wanted to drink something else.

She sighed and looked for a water bottle but all she saw were some empty cups.

“What are you looking for?”, she suddenly heard a way too familiar voice and turned around just to see Johnny standing in the door frame, a small smile on his lips.

“Just some water.”, she answered quietly, trying her best to look away from his dammed face. She saw how he moved next to her and opened a door next to her which apparently belonged to the fridge. Just a second later he handed her a bottle of cool water. Ava looked up and mumbled a quick thank you but it was enough to catch him smiling again, which made her heartbeat increase.

“I'm glad you came.”, Johnny said and leaned with his back against the door, looking down at her.

“Yunmi practically forced me to. It's nice, though.”, she answered, fumbling with the bottle in her hands, not sure what else to do with them.

Silence flooded the room and all the questions burned on her tongue. Taking a deep breath, she managed to look up at him, meeting his gaze. She locked her eyes with his for much longer as initially wanted and already felt how she got lost in his gaze just like everytime he looked at her.

He was handsome. His black hair messily falling into his face, his beautifully shaped lips curling upwards to form a small smile. Johnny's dark eyes seemed to look right through her.

“Can I ask you something?”, Ava finally found her voice and gulped, without breaking of the gaze.

“Anything.”, he answered, his voice unusual quiet.

“I need to know why you ignored me after that night.”

“What exactly do you mean?”, his brows furrowed.

“My last night here. You kissed me. You told me you'd call me the next day but you never did. And when I tried to reach out you simply ignored all my messages.” she sighed loudly, breaking their connection for a second, to gather her thoughts, “Seriously I felt so stupid. I still do.”

“Ava, listen, it's not what you think.”, she heard him answer and looked at his eyes once more.

“Then tell me, Johnny. Seriously. It's driving me insane.”, she pleaded, letting her arms drop in frustration.

Silence came up once more. The girl's frustration grew with any second passing by, not sure what she could say to finally get him to answer properly.

“I really thought about every single reason why you did that.”, she sighed, pain growing inside of her body, “And the only possible reason left is what you never liked me at all.”, she said, her voice just a small whisper, anxious about his answer.

“It's not that I don't like you. It's quite the opposite.”, Johnny said as she looked up at him again.

“I can't believe you.”, she sighed and furrowed her brows, thinking about his reasons why when he liked her.

“Listen, I'm sorry if I had hurt you but it's not that simple.”, he tried to explain but Ava just snorted and chuckled bitterly.

“Seriously just tell me directly into my face that I imagined all of that and that you're not interested. I'm not a kid and you're owing me that.” she answered, pressing her lips together.

“I can't tell you that because it would be a lie.”, now it was Johnny who sighed.

“It's the only possible explanation. Don't you want to tell me that you're not interested because you don't want to hurt me? Honestly, it would've hurt less if you'd just told me instead of ghosting me for years!”, her voice got louder such as her thoughts, which were going crazy inside of her head.

“That's not it.”, now frustration filled his voice as well. Ava looked into his face, seeing how he pushed his hair back, seemingly unsure about what to say.

“God, this is so stupid. I'm just gonna go.”, she dropped her arms in defeat, tired and annoyed. She didn't want to maintain this nonsense conversation when she wouldn't get a proper answer anyway.

Just when she wanted to move out of the door she felt Johnny's hand on her shoulder.

“Just – don't go, please.”, she heard him say and rolled her eyes.

“Then tell me why.”, as soon as she turned around she felt how Johnny laid his arms around her figure, pressing her against his chest softly.

“I'm sorry. I honestly am, please believe me.”, she felt how he buried his head in heir hair and wrapped her arms around his torso, her heart hammering loudly in her chest.

“I want to.”, she mumbled in the material of his black shirt and tightened her grip around him.

It felt unbelievably good to hug him, yet she still didn't get an answer from him, making her anxiety rise inside her body. She still didn't know why and the sudden touch confused her even more.

Ava started to wiggle when she realized her thoughts wouldn't shut up. Reluctantly, she looked up at him, loosening the hug a bit, yet not ready to let him go completely.

“This is confusing. I just want to know what's going on, please.” she pleaded once more, locking her eyes with his, just staring into them, trying to find answers.

She felt how Johnny moved one of his hands up her back, reaching her head, carefully putting one of her strands of hair behind her hear, his hand lingering on her cheek.

Her breath quickened when her eyes wandered over his face, absorbing every inch of it, until she stopped at his just perfectly shaped lips. She licked over hers, memories of how his tasted on hers flooded her mind. Her gaze went up again, meeting his once again that night.

The girl was once again hypnotised by his gaze, unable to look away this time.

Without further thinking about it, she put her hands on his neck and pulled him closer to her, to finally press her lips on his. His lips were just as soft as she memorized them, fitting on hers just as she remembered. The kiss was careful, still anxious about his reaction but when he actually pressed her closer to him, deepening the kiss her mind went completely blank.

Her eyes fell shut, her fingers slightly tightening on the back of his neck, trying to keep him even closer. Their lips moved in perfect sync, just as they belonged on each other. The girl cherished every second of it, how his hands cupped her face while one thumbs caressed her cheek, touching her so softly, as if she could break any second. The taste of his lips were sweet, she couldn't even taste a bit of alcohol, which ensure her that this was what he wanted.

As soft as the kiss was, she knew she wanted more. She needed more. After all these months of anxiety, pain and worry she finally kissed him again. Ava opened her mouth for him, allowing his tongue to play with hers, just like she always wanted to be kissed by him. Her fingers buried in his thick her, while his hands trailed down her body to rest on her hips.

Just before she could press her body closer Johnny pushed himself away, as if he'd burn himself.

Completely puzzled, the girl stared at him, not understanding what was going on.

“I can't. I'm sorry.”, she heard him say, his voice sounding strained, as he quickly ran out of the kitchen, leaving Ava alone once again.

She stared at her hands, her heart still beating fast, trying to catch her own breath. The girl felt how tears formed in the corners of her eyes and how her chest, which felt so light and carefree the other second, now felt like some heavy stone was laying on it, stealing her breath away. She had the sudden urge of fresh air and stumbled out of the kitchen, trying to leave everyone in that house behind her while not being seen. She couldn't manage to explain her situation to anyone. She wanted to be alone.

Ava breathed in the cold air and closed her eyes for a second, trying to get as much distance as possible between her and that house. She took a look at her smartphone to check the time but it wasn't even midnight yet, and she didn't want to be a killjoy and spoil Mark's fun. She made her way out of the garden and looked at the woods behind the property and stopped for a second. She heard how the wind whistled through the branches and how the leftover leaves trailed through the air. Her heart was still pounding in her chest, the latest event flooding her mind. This didn't make any sense to her. Why did he kiss her again? It wasn't just a casual kiss, she could feel that. And this time it wasn't her freaking imagination. The way he hold her and returned her kiss, the way he pressed her against his body – that wasn't imagination.

She actually believed him. She trusted his words yet he was acting like something completely different was on his mind and she just couldn't figure it out. Her thoughts went crazy and she felt how her throat got sore. Why did he stop when it felt so good? Any why did he leave her like that, not explaining his behaviour once again.

Ava kept going towards the trees, sometimes looking up at the sky which wasn't as clear as she thought. Thick black clouds were blocking the moon and stars and she sighed, yet it felt nice to move and properly breathe since the air in the house was muggy and way too hot. Or maybe it just felt like that to her. Her body felt exhausted, yet still full of adrenaline. What did she do wrong? Once again, she went through all the possibilities and couldn't get the hand of it. She didn't want to get hurt again by him, yet there she was. Feeling exactly the same as two years ago. It felt like some kind of absurd Deja Vu.

She flinched when she heard a loud crackle next to her and squinted her eyes, when she couldn't see anything. For a second, she thought someone was here, probably some drunk people enjoying themselves in the woods. She rolled her eyes and continue to stroll when she heard a noise again, but this time it sounded more like a hiss. Ava turned around, trying to see anything but it was too dark. Maybe some brainless jock saw her and tried to scare her.

Another crunching noise, this time right behind her, made her flinch once more, the hairs on her neck standing up. She felt her muscles tighten, when she turned around yet still no one was there. The girl looked a round several times, until she decided to head back to the house which she only saw in some distance thanks to the lights outside. Maybe she could just wait inside the car until Mark wanted to leave the party.

For a few seconds, it was silent again when she heard another noise, this time way closer to her, besides her.

Ava started to run, fear suddenly filling her body as her breath and heartbeat quickened, a feeling of danger flowing her body. The noises got louder, someone was definitely following her. She heard fast footsteps approaching her, whispers and hisses starting to echo inside her head, making her want to scream. She shook her head, trying to leave the voices behind but it was like they were just stuck, burying every other sound under it.

The blood pulsated in her head, breathing loudly. Sweat running down her forehead while her feet tried to run as fast as she could, yet she didn't seem to come any closer to the house.

A dark laugh suddenly appeared as she saw a black figure suddenly standing in front her, which made her stop in her steps, almost falling over.

She couldn't see a face, nor anything else which could possibly explain who it was. The figure took a stop closer to her, making her move backwards until her back met with once of the trees, the tree bark scratching her back uncomfortably.

The girl blinked once and the figure was gone, her blood still pulsating in her veins. She gulped, looking around before continuing to run in the direction she thought was the right one, while still turning her head every other second.

Suddenly she felt a breath on her neck, paired with a deep chuckle, making her stop in her tracks once more. She wanted to ask something, scream, anything but it felt like she suddenly had a lump in her throat. The voices inside her head growing louder and louder with each second passing by.

As soon as she wanted to start running again, a hand grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stand still. The grip was harsh and strong, not moving an inch even when she tried her best to wiggle her wrist free. She grunted and tried to take a look at the person behind her but she couldn't move at all.

“Oh no, you can't look at me. Not now, dear child.”, a voice said. It was more of a whisper than a real voice. The sound seemed hypnotic.

“There, there, hold still. Don't scream now.”, he said as she tried to wiggle herself free until her body stiffened. Suddenly, it was like all the noises she heard a second ago were gone. She didn't hear the whistles of the wind, the arches or their leaves. Nothing. It felt like the was in a vacuum, only the voice echoing in her head, telling her to hold still.

“You see, it's nothing personal.”, he continued and chuckled, sending shivers through her body.

“It's just, you got to understand that you're part of something bigger.”, she felt a hot breath on her neck again, making her want to scream but it felt like she lost her voice.

He heard him click his tongue, followed by a cold finger stroking over her neck.

“Such a  pity. So beautiful. I see what he's found in you, honestly. But, you know, sacrifices must be made. And such a pretty one.”, the voice continued.

Tears started to form in her eyes, rolling down her cheek, burning her skin. She didn't know what was going to happen but she felt afraid. More than that – she feared for her life. Something in his presence made her body fill with this primal fear.

“Oh, so pretty while crying, what a sight.”, a finger wiped one of her tears, chuckling mildly.

“You know, I like it when they scream. And now you need to scream, so he can hear you, you know?”, like a snap, Ava seemed to found her voice and screamed in a high-pitched voice.

Suddenly he let her go, making her stumble over her feet, her knees meeting the cold earth. She coughed while pulling herself up, commanding her body to start running again. When her feet started to move and her thoughts came back, the voices also did. They laughed at her in different tones, from every direction. It felt like a circle was around her, closing closer around her, laughing louder with every step she took.

Another desperate scream fell of her lips as she pressed her hands against her ears, trying to make the voices go but they got even louder, so loud she felt like becoming deaf. She couldn't even hear her own breath anymore, while tears ran down her face.

“It's so much fun to play, don't you think?”, she heard his voice echoing inside her head again, the screams suddenly disappearing.

“You know why? Because I always win.”, a chuckle echoed inside her head, turning into a loud laugh next to her ear.

“Maybe he'll find you, maybe he won't. I hope he does, otherwise it would spoil the fun.”, the voice added and she felt the grip on her wrist again.

“Ah, I'd really want to keep you for myself, such a shame.” he sighed, her body stiffen again, whilst she felt like choking, unable to bring out the slightest sound.

“It's nothing personal against you, my love. You just picked the wrong person to spend your time with, that's all.”

Her eyes widened in fear, her mouth suddenly hanging open without leaving a  sound when the world around her suddenly turned pitch black.

･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･◆･.｡*†*｡.･

masterlist

[make-me-imagine]

Hi may I request a ship please, with a marvel girl. My name is Nicole, I use she her and I'm a lesbian. I have buzzed short hair (sides and back), I'm chubby, with white skin, blue eyes and I wear glasses.

I work in retail. I like video games, daydreaming, reading reader fics and books, when I can I love going to the cinema, I like to buy pins and badges. I love just laying in bed playing video games (playstation to be specific) or doing stuff on my laptop/phone etc. I hate ppl lol in terms of those who are horrible to us retail workers or other people in that area. I dislike when people touch my things without my permission (especially my mum no matter how many times I tell her not to touch my mugs) I've never been in a relationship, never even held a girls hand. I often say things that people feel sorry for me like saying I don't have any friends or the most physical contact I get is from a stuffed bear I hug at night. I'm a very lonely person who's cried sometimes at night because of it and feel like I'll never be loved/have a gf/wife or friends 🙃

Um turn off would def be smoking/drug taking. Being rude and especially if they talk over me if I trying to say something or isn't interested when I'm talking about something I'm passionate about. Turn ons would be of course kindness and someone who could make me laugh and engage when I'm talking and being interested even if they don't know anything about it. And give me words of endearment since I def need it lol. And I guess patient since like I said I've never been with anyone so I haven't had my first kiss yet. Especially with touch tho I'm so touch starved I may just never want to let of once we do hug. Oh I'll be 28 this year.

Um I don't know what else to say really, please message me if there is anything else or I missed something, I'm typing this quickly cause I'm going into work now lol. Congrats by the way!!!

lmao, I think I would have understood. I hope you like it! And thanks!

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I know your icon is Wanda, buuuut...

I ship you with Natasha. 

I think Natasha is perfect for you. She is patient and kind and would never push you to do anything. She is protective and will always have your back. I think she would also be pretty good with words of both endearment and affirmation lol. She is also fine with physical affection and would hold you for hours if needed. She would always make you feel wanted and loved and makes sure you know that you are worthy of it and will never be alone. 

How you met and her first impression:

You were a recruit for SHIELD and she was watching a training session.

You had caught her eye and she ended up looking up your file to check you out.

Afterwards she introduced herself to you.

She thought you were nice, easy to get along with and had pretty good sociable skills.

She could see something in you that she felt you might not be able to see.

So she took you under her wing; not knowing that she'd become much more fond of you pretty soon after.

Ways she shows you she loves you without words:

Setting up a comfy room with pillows, blankets and what not so you can play video games together in the evenings.

Brushing her hands through your hair when you are slowly falling asleep.

Hugging you from behind randomly.

Holding you close while you are sleeping.

Will listen intently to you when you are talking.

Best-Friend:

I feel like Wanda would be your best friend. You would get along really well and have similar personalities. You two often go to movies together, and also go on double dates.

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((This is the last ship to go out!))