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rainbowcrowley · 10 months

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has this been done before

#probably yes #i haven't seen one tho #so. here.#have a low quality meme #doctor who spoilers #addi.txt

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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bitchthefuck1 · 2 months

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#late to the party but im here #someone else has probably made this at some point but i haven't seen it and it needs to be said #but fr tho like they literally have a su*cide pact no one is doing it like them #royai #riza hawkeye #roy mustang #fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist #fmab #fma #image description in alt

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slushglow · 5 months

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where are my edward elric fans in the crowd tonight

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seventh-district · 5 months

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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 4 - Nuthin' but Boothill Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

#boothill #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr incorrect quotes #hsr memes #honkai star rail memes #hsr meme #honkai star rail meme #hsr textpost #hsr boothill #boothill hsr #hsr spoilers #hsr 2.2 spoilers #hmmm... don't think it's worth tagging the others in the 9th image. this ain't about them #still unsure abt how to do the alt text for these kinda posts properly but hopefully i'm improving #anyways. don't think i've ever seen heard and typed "cowboy' so many times in one day as i have while making this good lord #i did a bit of digging around and haven't Seen any of these done yet so. here's hoping that's the case!#i'm only ~3/4 of the way through the 2.2 main quest but the need to make these compelled me to put these out Now #i can already tell u that there Will be more of these for Boothill tho bc i'm crazy abt him. probably enough to make another dedicated post #but i'm gonna wait until i'm fully caught up on the plot (and will probably spoil myself for more of his character lore after that as well)#speaking of. i'm gonna go eat mac n' cheese and stay up too late playing through the rest of the main quest #i'm loving it so far. many thoughts head full abt it all but in a good way. hoping for more Boothill moments as we approach the end #he's def not the main character here but he is to Me okay. he is to me. i'm scarfing down every crumb he drops #i'm also suffering from Aventurine withdrawals out here. Argenti mentioning him was Interesting but i need More. Where Is He.#also. was Argenti intentionally not voiced or was it a game issue?? the hell was that. threw me off so hard when i couldn't hear him speak #anyways i'm getting off topic and wasting precious gaming time so i'll be takin' my leave now

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welcometogrouchland · 1 year

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[ID: a digital sketch of Eda and Raine from the owl house. They're in their designs from watching and dreaming, pre epilogue. Raine holds out their arm for an injection (given by a disembodied hand and labeled "magic rabies shot") and Eda lays a hand on their shoulder and leans her head on theirs. She says "you're doing great Raine! how'd you get rabies tho?". Raine stares dead eyed at the viewer as a thought bubble connected to them shows Belos biting down on their arm. End ID]

I was gonna post a request today but I feel like it's gonna flop and this is funnier. So request tomorrow, Raine Whispers Rabies doodle today

#the owl house #toh #raine whispers #eda clawthorne #raeda #you guys have no clue the stupid shit i doodle when alone or in the company of my irl friends. this was partly their suggestion #you guys haven't even seen baldlos (he was just born today and also no one should see him ever)#anyway I'm so mad that THIS FUCKING DOODLE is the best raeda I've ever drawn. repulsive. why would god do that to me #anyway..enjoy #raine and hunter both being rushed to like. makeshift hospital tents after the finale on account of getting possessed #except when they're there they end up getting treated for completely unrelated shit #hunter had a growth spurt w/ insufficient stored energy/food in his body so he's kinda malnourished atm. raine has rabies (obv)#fun times all around #luz is perfectly healthy after death and resurrection tho! suspiciously healthy one might say...

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moonkhao · 1 month

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hi.

#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone #but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3 #it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere #like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july #which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault #i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY #anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like #flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation #i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D #and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen #it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold #(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all #like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love #ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place #anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls #and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE #he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual #i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now #i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3 #AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks #@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3

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what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque · 5 months

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Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

#also love that he's basically atheist like ok thanks you made the man exactly coded to be my type #and the humor and beautiful curly hair is very much something my IRL partner has too so like... how can i resist #anyways not sure a lot of people relate cause i think a lot of people want that fairytale romance #even tho wyll is right there yall #but i love me an unconventional or nontraditional one!!#i'm TIRED of being married with children as the endgame pls let's not do it #also a lot of people seem into him being a dad and im like... how? why? where in canon did he ever lmfao #more power to ya if you dig it but i just dont see it being in character #like in DAI i loved cullen and my inquisitor getting married and having a dog #and they seem the type to wants kids one day. but Tav & Astarion? lol no #i just think it's neat #is this a hot take? i have no idea but i don't see it mentioned a lot as a new fan tbh #pls do not come at me you can enjoy whatever you like #i haven't seen the ascended stuff so idk if being his 'consort' is like being his bride #but i feel like overall it's not and the vibe isn't all that different in this sense #except that you're hosting evil parties instead of travelling :/#Astarion #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #bg3 #also YEA he's nice to Arabella but you can tolerate certain kids without wanting one or being 'good parent' material #case in point: me lmfao #OKAY update i saw the AA stuff and yeah you're kind of implied vamp married and he does mention spawn as children 😫#but he also says in banter he won't make any other spawn??? so what is it dude #anyway that's also clearly the “bad” route and he doesn't seem as happy as unascended #who feels “truly free”#and if you're durge I'm pretty sure its even worse to consider having kids?? lol #but i digress #pk plays bg3

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scarlet-wish-draws · 8 months

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Might hop on the infection au thing for a little while. We'll see how it goes.

#mlp #mlp fim #my little pony #horror #art #doodle #fanart #pony #mlp art #digital art #infection #mlp infection au #mlp infection #“Everyone is sick with something. lots of coughing and sneezing. I'll have to test someone eventually. not high priority tho.”#“Haven't seen Fluttershy in a few! She's might be bed ridden? if she feels as achey in the legs as I do; she sure needs some gooood sleep!#“rumor has it that Flutters was the one to get sick first... somethin' about the everfree and flowers?? I should check up on her...”

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freaky-flawless · 5 months

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My work already got in some of our Halloween stuff and y'all...

How perfect is this to display a Clawdeen doll???

#monster high #monster high dolls #clawdeen wolf #dollblr #I'm so excited even tho it's so damn early #i haven't even seen everything we have and I'm stoked #and it's already 40% off!#they brought the crescent moon shelves back and I'm so happy #i already have one but my mom kept trying to steal it so I'll have to get her one #I'm hyped for the jewelry the collection we had last year was incredible #sorry if the pictures bad #id in alt

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oolhan · 7 months

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i love josh as peeta so much but tell me this isn't vibing with book peeta???? book everlark???

#i haven't seen it yet tho lol #book everlark #one day netflix #peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #everlark #the hunger games

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mourn-and-watch · 8 months

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honestly i didn't want to get invested in beau & molly's friendship because i knew the spoiler but i did it anyway unintentionally and oh boy these 26 episodes of their shenanigans were completely worth it but also since molly's death I haven't taken a L once as their enjoyer. like molly really died in front of beau and made her speedrun through an existential crisis and also taliesin said molly would think that he'd always have a one-up on her. she got his tattoo and then got impaled the next day just like he did (yay! just besties things) and then also got a cursed fucked up eye right in the middle of it just like the one he had. she liked to think there was a town somewhere where people still believed he was a king. it's less related but seeing her and lucien annoy the shit out of each other was also endearing. when kingsley woke up the first thing she did was giving him a middle finger like she wasn't one of the people directly participating in his resurrection because she wanted to. it's like a schrodinger's friendship. molly was six feet under for the most of the show so they haven't actually interacted all this time but somehow put-on pettiness was stronger than death indeed

#their fighting siblings vibes were so special i love them your honor #molly died because he and beau would be too powerful. and by powerful i mean they'd be too chaotic to make it to the end #would go out in a blaze of glory no doubt tho #love them for it. truly disastrious people <3 #anyway i wish they had a besties name. like brjeaus or circus kids you get the idea #i haven't seen one but if it exists please let me know i need to know!!#beauregard lionett #mollymauk tealeaf #the mighty nein #critical role

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satans-knitwear · 1 year

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