#i hope jason can actually talk to bruce ... and communicate...

[dxrksong]

Jason 13 au memes part two

Bruce: *slams a door on accident*

Batfam: you slam door on Brood? YOU SLAM DOOR ON BROOD LIKE GROUNDINGS???! OH!! OH JAIL FOR FATHER!!! JAIL FOR FATHER FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!

Jason 13, calling Danny on speed dial: JAIL FOR FATHER!!!!

-----------

Kitty:

Jason:

Kitty: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE BUILT LIKE A BRICK HOUSE!!!!!

Jason: to be fair, I forgot???

Kitty: speaking of which, hows that going out for you?

Jason: it's been....emotional.....not to mention the whord of shades trying to mother hen me 24/7

Kitty: I've been meaning to ask you about those.

Jason: I thought you wanted to talk about our relationship?

Kitty: we have communication rings, we can do that later. I'm more worried about the tall intimidating city spirit behind you.

Jason: oh that's just Gotham

Kitty:

Gotham: *tall black lady that can kick your ass* ;)

Kitty, sweating:

Jason: don't worry, she's nice. She's just a litte over protective of her kids.

Kitty: there's MORE of you????

----------

Kitty:

The batfam:

Kitty, surrounded by baby ghost cores like stray kittens: I don't know what's worse. How much they look like you or the inane urge to just adopt them all, oh nooooooooooo!!

Jason: now you know how it feels old man.

Bruce: *confused in bat*

--------------

Kitty:

Catwoman:

Kitty: crimes?

CatWoman: hell yes, kitten!

[LATER]

Jason: WHO THE FUCK DYED MY SUIT PINK?!?!?!

--------------

Kitty: you know considering my name it's a little odd that you're the one being all cat like.

Jason, laying his head on her lap while she cards through his hair: shut uuup, it's not like I can ask anyone else for attention like this. It'd be weeeeiiiird.

Kitty: *sighs* better hope you didn't leave your comm on.

Jason:

Kitty: Johnny.

Jason: I can't remember if I turned it off or not

Dick: you know little wing, if you wanted attention you could've just asked-

Jason: SHIT!!!!!!

---------------

Spectra: so are you still dating him or..?

Kitty: you know? We died basically around the same time and we were introduced to each other first before anyone else, so we kinda just stuck together. And really everyone had kinda just started calling us boyfriend and girlfriend, and we just didn't think otherwise to correct them.

Ember: wait, so you two HAVEN'T been dating??

Kitty: it was never official, if anything it was an ongoing bet to see how long it would last before people started to notice. We're more like.....siblings but not quite. Or emotional support ghosts for each other.

Spectra: that....actually makes a lot of sense. You two are hardly seen without the other and you haven't exactly been dead for long, so it would make sense you're still settling down from the trauma of dying.

Kitty: did you just psychoanalise me?!

Spectra: You basically gave it to me on a silver platter!! It's a force of habit!!!

--------------

Jason: hey squishy

Blob ghost in Johnny 13's bike: ?

Jason: think you can get this blob ghost out of my corpse-

Squishy: *Rev's backwards out of the bat cave*

Jason: ouch! Not even my own pet will help a zombie out.

------------

Danny: so how you feelin Jason?

Jason, sarcastically: oh just great, I've only had ONE murderous breakdown this week due to Zom!

Danny: Zom????

Jason: the blob ghost possessing me.

Danny: You named it????!

Jason: WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?! IT'S A FREAKING BLOB GHOST, IT'S NOT LIKE IT HAD A NAME BEFORE!!!!!

Danny:

Jason:

Danny: I'm telling frostbite-

Jason: Don't you DARE!

--------------

Dick: Hey, Jason? Can you come over? I need your help.

Jason, muffled by a humming noise: sorry, I don't think that'll be possible at the moment?

Dick: what do you mean by that Jay, and what is that sound?

Jason, swallowed into the shadows and getting fussed over by the shades: would you believe me if I said I got readopted by shades?

Dick: U Wot?

---------------

Batman: Jason, what's this about shades adopting you??

Jason: look I didn't ask for it, it just happened.

Bruce: and are they....good? Parents?

Jason: well they like putting me in shadow jail alot.

Batman: Shadow jail?????

Jason: not to mention the constant babying-

Bruce: WHAT?!?!

Jason: ?! Jeez Bruce!! Wha-

Bruce: YOU LET THEM BABY YOU?!?!?!

Jason:

Bruce: I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT SINCE THE FIGHTING STARTED!!!!

Jason: .....are-are you JEALOUS?!

Bruce:

Bruce >:'(

--------------

Dick: ok, so to recap! *pulls out a projector and a Google slide document*

Dick: Jason got reanimated by something going awry and messing with reality, accidentally reviving Jason. *click* He gets scooped up by Talia and revives him fully. *click* this leaves him with powers and uncontrollable emotional problems *click* apparently he can talk to ghosts and they are often friendly to him back. *click* so much so, according to Jason himself, he has been adopted by the entirety of the ghost population in Gotham *click* including the SPIRIT of Gotham herself.

*it's a vague drawing of what Gotham looks like*

Dick: any questions?

Tim: yeah, uh. Who's that?

Danny: hi! :D

Dick: no clue, next question!

Danny: I'm phantom! I used to beat Jason up when he used to go by Johnny 13!

Batfam:

Cass: does the Lazarus pit taste like lemonade?

Dick: no, it tastes more like sprite.

Duke: wait-how do you-

Dick: NEXT QUESTION!

--------------

Jason, 'living on his own':

The Shades: :)

Squishy: :)

Gotham sometimes: :)

Kitty: :P

Danny: >:)

The various bird and/or bat: :)

Damien: :

Ember: lmao I'm the older one now! >:D

Spectra: (usually only when Kitty shows up)

Skulker: (target practice training) >:)

Technus: (built Johnny's bike believe it or not) >:)

The box ghost: (this man has dad energy, change my mind) >:)c

The lunch lady: (every growing ghost needs proper calories!) :)

Jason: ...............I need a bigger house....

-----------------

Batman steps into the batcave to see green fire everywhere, Jason in his ghost form, and Damien trying to stab him with a sword.

Damien: it was Todd's idea!

Jason: Damien, you fucking snitch!

Batman: language!

Damien: yeah Hood, watch your fucking language!

Batman: DAMIEN!

(Reference to this)

--------------

Jason: remind me why you're here again?

Danny: what? Like I can't visit my favorite Rouge?

Jason: I thought that was plasmius?

Danny: he's my arch nemesis, not a rouge! He doesn't count!

Jason: if you say so. But why am I your favorite, and I'm pretty sure I no longer qualify to be one of your rouges?

Danny: dude you're the only one I can have a serious conversation about! Vlad's a fruitloop!!

Jason: yeah but at least he knows what he's taking about half the time.

Danny: psh. 'Half the time'

Danny:

Danny: you can still turn into Johnny, right?

Jason: I mean if I concentrate real hard I guess? But it'll take a lot of energy.

Danny: wanna convince Vlad he's going insane?

Jason: only if I can record it.

Danny: DEAL!

[rootbeerrex]

Jason and Bruce's first encounter in Batman #408 is blatantly mischaracterized so often that I have to do a double take every time I see anyone talking about it. I would like to say before I get into this that there's nothing wrong with disregarding canon, but you gotta know what you're disregarding or you just completely ignore the important character dynamics that are set up.

First of all, Bruce didn't see Jason stealing his tires and say "oh yeah, I'm adopting this kid." Yes, he did think it was funny and end up getting invested in Jason's life, but he had no intention to adopt or even interact with Jason again. He sends Jason to Ma Gunn's school, hoping that Jason can get an actual education and have a successful life.

People like to claim that Bruce was just lonely after Dick left and so he replaced him with the first kid he saw, and if you assume that Bruce just grabbed Jason off the streets after their first meeting, that seems pretty damning. but he DIDNT. he didn't initially want to make Jason Robin, he just wanted Jason to have a good life and get out of Crime Alley. (don't get me wrong, I still think it's fucked up that he made Jason Robin and failed to communicate with him about what that really meant and made him feel like he had to live up to Dick perfectly, but if we're gonna critiquing Bruce, we're gonna do it accurately.) He didn't even plan on interacting with Jason again in any meaningful way until he finds out that Jason isn't going to Ma Gunn's, and Jason explains that it's not a real school.

And after that he STILL doesn't make any decisions. It's not until after Jason tries to stop the heist at the museum completely separately from Batman that Bruce even takes in Jason himself.

And yeah, I really don't like the way he did this, but the narrative that Bruce just scooped Jason up off the streets because he wanted a new Robin is just straight up inaccurate. Yeah, I can totally admit that he probably felt at least a little lonely with Dick's absence and that affected his decision, but I think more importantly he saw himself in Jason and made his decision based on that.

The same way he recognized Dick's trauma with witnessing his parents' deaths, he recognized Jason's here. Do I think letting these kids fight crime is the best way to handle this trauma? of course not! but as explained earlier, he didn't originally intend to make Jason robin. And even more than that, these are comics, they don't have to be good choices that would be okay in the real world!

Okay anyway I forgot what my other points were and I just spent an hour writing this out and finding the panels, so uh here. Sorry I went on a little bit of a rant here.

[daemonmage]

A Stupid Batfam AU

Jason’s and Bruce’s rocky relationship is actually a pr move to make sure the rest of the batfam doesn’t get attacked by reporters and gcpd.

Essentially Red Hood, while liked by the Crime Alley citizens and other citizens as well, has a pretty bad reputation with a lot of the rest of the city. The GCPD hate him for his overt violence and the head incident. The Media hates him cause he’s what they all feared Batman would become and are constantly creating news stories on him. A lot of the other citizens are just scared of him cause sometimes his temper gets out of control. It’s not the best reputation.

Bruce and Jason have long since talked and settled their differences. Well, it’s more of a “I don’t approve of your methods but I will acknowledge you as a person who wants to help, but I will still dislike the guns. Also I missed you” from Bruce and “I’m not happy with a lot of your decisions but I also understand why you came to those decisions. I’m still mad but I now know that you missed me and I missed you too” from Jason. They’re better than they were originally and honestly that’s all they could hope for. Jason visits the manor more and is having fun being brothers to Dick and Tim.

Here’s the thing though… his reputation as Red Hood may have accidentally spread to the other Bats. A few team ups here and there (and the red bat on his chest) have made everyone assume that Batman is now working with Red Hood, a known crime lord. The media and GCPD were on them like flies on shit. Jim tries to calm down the gcpd with mixed results, but he can’t stop the media from blowing this out of proportion. It’s like the news channels from Dark Knight Returns, but worse.

Jason, who just got his family back, is fucking pissed. Jason is also dramatic as hell. Bruce was willing to just deal with this, but Tim is too new at this to be caught in the crossfire. Bruce was just gonna bench him out of fear until things calm down (he’s dealt with this before) but Jason brings up his plan to Bruce. Bruce isn’t as dramatic as Jason, however he is still absolutely dramatic. He agrees. So begins an epic fight between two ideals that ends two vigilantes at each other’s throats constantly.

Red Hood and Batman fight any time they are together, Red Hood is arrested by Batman on multiple occasions, and Red Hood always escapes leaving terrifying threats spray painted where the bat can see. (Jason and Bruce give each others shit for the pot shots they take and Bruce compliments Jason’s form when he gets a good hit in, Bruce gives Jason a heads up to the easier ways to get out of a police car and Jason ignores him going for the most dramatic ways, Bruce complains that the code Jason uses for his threats are obvious and he can just ask Alfred himself for cookies, why does Bruce have to be the middle man.)

The super hero community doesn’t really know this (cause they can be pretty bad actors at times, says Bruce) tis can cause problems. Superman and Green Arrow capturing Red Hood. Batman had to pull the “he’s Gotham’s problem give him to me,” which led to a hour of arguing to get Jason back. Tim’s friend have Red Hood on their hit list for what Hood did to Robin (Tim is over it but he does use this as a way to get back at his brother when he pisses him off) and Red Hood has to be on the Villain List to sell the act, so every hero ever knows the Red Hood is a villain. This leads to chaos.

There are still rough moments where Bruce and Jason still fight, but it’s better. Jason gets to hang out and play games with Tim. He plans overly dramatic fights with Dick (with full plot cause these two are so extra.) He helps Alfred in the kitchen again talking about books they’ve both read. He and Bruce talk again, they talk about their fears and what they’ve missed. It’s better, and that’s all that really matters.

[confused-wanderer]

Fanfic writers, please show Jason and Dick’s turmoil towards Bruce. It doesn’t matter if the writings fluff or angst, I just want to see realistic repercussions of their time with Bruce.

Obviously, he was not the best father by a long shot. Hell, he never even knew how to parent, teach or take care of children, he just wanted to help. But the road to hell is usually paved by good intentions.

Bruce would’ve fucked up a LOT with Dick, never knowing when to be cautious or straightforward, kind or angry, especially to someone who’s suffered almost exactly like he had. Someone who’s seen his parents die, his world shatter and now is filled with vengeance and trauma. Someone who needs his attention, even on stupid matters while he’s going through his own battles of staring out as batman.

With Jason, he must’ve had a whole NEW problem. Jason’s experience on the streets, his niche triggers and responses to some mundane activities or phrases, Dick’s hatred towards him and Jason while also trying to make sure this one doesn’t get himself killed. With fear and frustration comes anger, and cold logic so I’m pretty sure there must’ve been a few instances to say the least where Bruce retorts with something out of anger or trying to get Jason to realise just how serious things are, only realising too late how much it affected him.

I want their hesitation and fear portrayed. How Dick hesitates to tell Bruce something about a topic that was sensitive when he was younger. The way he holds his breath, waiting for the onslaught of lectures and scoldings, or how he laments on something like “God I’m so careless how could I have missed that?” Which would have previously been met with “You are no detective, you need to do better, this could cost you your life.” But instead hears “it’s okay, we all make mistakes. You’ll get it next time, maybe a few practice rounds would help.”

How Jason gives up hopes of communicating with Bruce at all after the arguments they’d had in his childhood over everything and nothing. How nowadays he doesn’t speak much at all, and always answers in curt sentences, thinking Bruce would not have the time, care about unimportant details or not approve of activities. It’s why he hesitates on the edge of a panic attack or needs help to call Bruce, always keeping it as the last resort. But instead of hearing “I always told you to be careful” or “You could’ve avoided this..” he hears “How does it feel chum? I know it hurts, but how can I help?”

Because when Tim came, let’s be honest he saw Robin as a job. He didn’t give a flying fuck and thus remained relatively unaffected by Bruce. Not to mention with two robins, and Tim being Tim, Bruce could never really pick on things to actually hurt him. In time, sure he gradually saw Bruce as a father figure and they got closer, he still has a lesser fear and knowledge of Bruce’s behaviour.

Just a fic which shows Bruce trying, changing and not realising just how some things he did or said fucked up his children. How he tries to understand why, for the life of him, Dick never really talks about what’s really bothering him, or how he can help, or really anything about his life that he genuinely enjoys. Bruce lives for conversations with Jason, and keeps trying to remain upbeat and patient while he prompts conversations every time because he doesn’t understand why Jason has become just as quiet, if not more than how talkative and expressive he was as Robin.

Shit happened, and there’s nothing he can do to fix that, he knows that. But he doesn’t know what actions or words of his are actually ingrained in their minds. He doesn’t remember the emotional extent of how bad some things seemed. He might remember being strict with Dick, but he doesn’t remember how he had once told Dick that he would never feel the happiness like he did with his parents before when the kid had come crying to him on the anniversary of his parents shooting saying how much it hurts. He recalls being harsh with Jason when he had done incredibly reckless things trying to find his biological mother. He doesn’t remember telling Jason that maybe it’s a good thing that his mother doesn’t want to see him.

All I’m saying- Give me a fic in which through something, supervillain, mental breakdown - something that makes Bruce have that moment of realisation of how, no matter his intentions, feelings or context, he’s responsible for their fear of him. I want to see how he reacts to this revelation, his moments of panic, guilt and horror when he realises just how badly he fucked up. How he desperate starts trying to change himself, how he slowly tries to start building relations and starts being more patient, caring and considerate..because he truly loves his children, and he misses them.

[lacrimosathedark]

You know what? Here is what I hope for the future of Batfam relationships

For Bruce, he is both Forever Alone and in multiple relationships.

He and Selina don't get married because she's a free spirit but they act like they're married whenever she stops by and she is essentially the Robin/Batgirl stepmother. And then they have Helena! She is such a good mom and Bruce is utterly smitten. She will also kick his ass when he's being dumb or emotionally constipated. Bonus.

He and Talia are amicable exes; they will always love each other but their lives are incompatible. Talia is very protective of Bruce's kids and she and Selina get on surprisingly well. Do not threaten Jason, Tim, or Damian if you want to live. Bruce cannot stop her and Selina will not.

(Bruce may or may not also have a vacillating relationship with both Lois and Clark. Lois is fucking awesome and Clark is his best friend like beyond measure)

Dick is with Babs, Kory, and Wally. Linda is nervous at first but she also loves Dick and they are besties and Jai and Irey adore him. Babs and Kory are jealous of each other at first, but they become friends through mocking the everloving shit out of Dick's dumbassery. Wally does nothing more than pat Dick's shoulder in sympathy because he's not arguing with the girls when they're right and it's fucking funny.

Jason and Roy may as well be married. Lian loves Jason, especially since he helped her as an amnesiac teen (I just love the idea, the Strays are in Alleytown which is in/by Park Row it's in "his territory" and Jason gets the while street orphan thing so yes). Jason and Jade hate each other but are willing to tolerate each other for Lian because Lian is Lian and deserves anything she fucking wants and she wants to know her mom. Lian also loves having badass adoptive grandmas. Selina is her favorite because she took her in, but she adores Dinah and Talia is so cool. And she gets to see Uncle Dick all the time and Jason pretends he isn't happy to see him but he is (after he works past insecurity about Dick's collection of redheads because can I just keep this one Dick holy shit Roy's mine now fuck off). Bruce and Ollie fight over who is best grandpa. Lian's family is the best. Jason and Roy date nights consist of blowing shit up, makeouts, and then going home to snuggle with their daughter.

Tim and Kon are together FINALLY and lowkey co-parenting Bart. They made joke adoption papers and hang it up on the wall. Cassie claims the title of wine aunt. Everyone else thinks they're ridiculous but They Are Family. Everyone mocks them for not realizing they were in love sooner. Like, Kon's existence pre-New 52 screamed "gay crisis shouting "no homo"" and Tim's sanity is directly tied to his relationship with Conner, like??? Tim how did you just realize you were bi you absolute dorkweed. They also both had bicon girlfriends, like??? Morons. Adorable.

Tim and Steph will always love each other, but they didn't really work as they were and are happier with other people. They have a sort of romantic friendship. Steph actually conspired with Cass to get Tim to confess to Kon because boi both of you are idiots.

Stephanie and Cass (Cain) are happily dating and the most functional relationship in the Batfam. They don't need to talk to communicate. Cass has her abilities, but Steph can read Cass specifically almost as well. Not that they don't talk; Cass is comfy enough with Steph that sometimes she will just talk for hours. So in love and so comfy together.

Damian is either dating or in a queerplatonic relationship with Jon Kent. They are best friends and always have each other's backs and love each other so fucking much. They live together on the farm and Damian has a whole ass animal sanctuary and Jon helps him care for the animals and it's beautiful and nothing hurts.

[wormsin]

i hope this isnt very out of the blue—it’s just that these two have been rotating in my head for days (though tbh when have they stopped but anw), in your opinions, how do you think bruce and dick’s relationship can be healthy(ier)? like, ignoring the whole “the nature of comic demands them to always be unhealthy for conflicts/dramas’ sake”, (how) do you think they can move forward from all the bad things that have happened between them (especially if one counts spyral into it)?

i am also constantly rotating them and throwing them into rat mazes! endlessly entertaining.

my answer to this question is actually my ongoing series earth-w1 or: It's all part of the fairy tale. (see what I did there?) it's my fix-it AU set a year(?) after Spyral where Bruce and Dick get together. their relationship is very much a work in progress and messy but they are trying their best! hopefully I'll get the time to write the whole character arcs I have in mind for them.

so if we're talking comics Bruce and Dick? and we're not cherry picking the worst moments and dysfunction out? whether platonic, familial, or romantic, their relationship is deeply codependent. they need to grow as individuals before their relationship can be healthy.

they're great at ignoring their past conflicts and forgiving each other (without communicating that), because they always come back to nearly unconditional trust and love for each other. they don't need to open up old wounds between them, but they should. this is how comics deal with their issues—sweeping them under the rug, *maybe* with a few panels of communication where Bruce indirectly apologizes and Dick dismisses his need to apologize.

that's not actually good in the long run, and gives us situations like Dick coming back from Spyral with a cheery "family is everything!" smile, a character dissonance that *I* explain by Dick's desperate "Im okay" maladaptive coping mechanism.

anyway.

this is how to improve their relationship on the surface:

1. they realize that they both want each other around, and then actually spend lots of time together.

2. Dick helps call Bruce out on bullshit and helps improve his relationships. Dick soothes Bruce's emotional dysfunction by being a constant of unconditional love.

3. Bruce reassures Dick of his place in his life and the family, soothing Dick's anxiety about belonging.

4. the foundations of dysfunction in their relationship remain, so as soon as there's a crisis they fall into the same patterns as before, causing strain in their other relationships. Bruce can't be out of control or have Dick nearly-die without losing it. Dick drops everything to emotionally rescue him. Dick doesn't allow others to care for him.

this is how to improve their relationship deeply:

1. Bruce becomes brave enough to let Dick in past his armor, and shares and processes his childhood trauma. he recontextualizes what Batman is.

2. Dick accepts that he is worthy of love himself, and allows himself to be imperfect.

3. they actually spend time together.

4. Bruce makes a genuine effort to make amends for his past actions, regardless of the outcome. most importantly, Jason, whose death fundamentally changed Bruce. I dont think Jason needs to forgive Bruce or even give him the time of day, but Bruce must try and *not punish anyone if it doesnt go how he wants*.

probably the way to do this is to give both Bruce and Dick serious mental breakdowns. and maybe semi-retire them. I imagine them mellowing out a lot more when they're older and retired from vigilantism.

you can make their relationship and characters more, or less, fucked up but I believe the recipe still stands because Bruce's protective control and Dick's perfectionist caregiving are core dysfunctions for their characters.

[notyournightsky]

I hope you don't mind me ranting to you but one thing that annoys me almost as much as people in fandom just making up that Dick was terrible is when they acknowledge stuff Dick actually did but they change/headcanon away what other characters did so Dick looks unreasonable. Like when people pretend Bruce was a good dad so Dick not talking to him for years makes Dick look petty. Or pretending Jason never killed anyone if there were other options so Dick being angry at him for killing looks ignorant.

I don’t mind you ranting, anon! And yeah, that is annoying. Fandom as a whole tends to praise certain characters, and in order to do that, have to tear down other characters in the process. Dick undoubtedly receives this treatment a lot. Even when acknowledging things Dick has done, it tends to get invalidated or villainized for the sack of other characters.

I will never understand why Dick is blamed for not talking to Bruce in those very early Nightwing years. Like, Bruce is the adult in the situation. If he wanted to talk to Dick, he could. Communication is a two way street, and it shouldn’t be all on Dick to initiate conversation between the 2 of them. Even then, it’s like blaming people who go no contact with their parents as adults instead of blaming the parents for acting in a way that caused their child to go no contact. Dick in those early years was busy with the Teen Titans as well. Sometimes time just gets away from people and they don’t talk to people that they don’t have immediate contact with. That’s not petty. That’s just life.

Got a little away from myself there lol. But yeah, I’ve never enjoyed when people acknowledge things Dick has done but change everyone else’s actions to make Dick look bad. It’s like, if you want to talk about Dick being an asshole, there’s plenty of examples that you can use without butchering his character to make others look good.

[evilwickedme]

I would like to see the Jewish headcanons please

Hi yes thank you so much I wasn't fishing for this at all

We've already covered this in that post that gained me 150 followers in a week, but obviously Peter Parker is Jewish. My personal headcanon is that he's Ashkenazi and somewhere between Reform and Conservative. Like he flip flops on keeping Kosher and observes the high holidays as best as he can assuming there's no world saving he needs to get done, but overall being Jewish to him is about community and culture over the religious part of it

For Bucky Barnes, however, being observant was a way to reclaim his identity after... Well, you know. He's vaguely conservadox? He doesn't really define it beyond being Sephardic. He keeps Kosher (which was difficult during WWII unfortunately) and wears tzitzit and goes to shul whenever he can. He'd love to keep Shabbat but it's just not practical most of the time - essentially it's like being an on call doctor, where your job is essential to saving lives and therefore he can't keep Shabbat properly, but he likes to have Friday night dinners with his friends (and Natasha, whether they're together at the time or not) whenever he can. He doesn't know if God exists, but during the High Holidays is when he comes the closest to believing it

Bruce Wayne is canonically Jewish but like, by accident? I feel like he less defines himself as Jewish and more defines himself as Not-Christian™. His mother used to take him to Synagogue but the memories are vague now, but he always enjoyed lighting the candles on Hanukkah, especially with Jason. He stops celebrating the holiday after Jason dies, because he loved it so much. It's a shame because I KNOW Cass would love Hanukkah and Steph would be so into the Maccabees' story

Tim is also Jewish but he's entirely non practicing; his parents were never around to celebrate any holidays or impart any Jewish traditions on him and Bruce had stopped doing the one Jewish thing of lighting the hanukkiah/menorah (whichever you wanna call it) by the time he became Robin. The main Jewish thing in his life is antisemitic garbage being published about both Bruce and himself, especially once he becomes CEO of WE

Damian was raised Muslim and doesn't really know how to feel about being half Jewish. When he grows up he might try to find a way to reconcile those two parts of his identity, but the only Jewish person who actually practices that he sees even irregularly is Batwoman, who's his cousin once removed and he's not exactly close to, so he just doesn't feel the need to deal with it yet

The Thing and Batwoman are canonically Jewish this doesn't count as a hc I just love them

Same for moon knight minus loving him cause I have a bunch of his comics but just haven't gotten around to reading them

Actually can we talk about Mayday Parker? Because I feel like Peter would absolutely raise his daughter to be Jewish. He wants her to feel that connection to the Jewish people even though he's always been so wishy-washy about it and she grows up to be way more observant than him

I actually don't want canon!Clark to be Jewish, but I think exploring his Jewish subtext in fic can be so interesting? Cause, you know, he's Moses and shit. I feel like an Modern Orthodox Clark would have the exact same values as current Clark but also I'd love to hear his thoughts on certain Mishnahs, you know? Also having read the Death of Superman arc earlier this month I can confirm all Jesus metaphors in adaptations are such bullshit oh my God did you even read the comic

Anyway I think that's it for now? Unfortunately I have not read Every Comic Ever yet so there might end up being even more HCs later on (especially since I plan to read Greg Rucka's Lois Lane series soon and I'm hoping for some Jewish subtext in that)

Thank you so much for asking this was so much fun!!

[bruciemilf]

I hope you don't mind me chipping my own two cents in your hc!! Sorry your writing and angst also made me think all sorts of plots and feels that I couldn't just not share 😭😭

I wonder if Bruce's constant objectifying/harassment ever got spread around the league until no matter how close or not Batman is with you, they know how one of their leaders got treated as part of his daily life.

I mean, it's a pretty huge deal; Oliver might just tell people to tread lightly around Bruce and to not attempt any sexual remarks around the man. Putting himself as Bruce's newly, worrywart big brother in the scenes

Ted Kord whisk Bruce away to a business talk when a creep straight up fondle Bruce's ass (Michael Carter once punched a guy for it and couldn't come unless he finds a secure place to punch a creep)

Green Lanterns Corps and Batman are never in good terms, and when they found out how Batman's civilian identity acts, they shared a few jabs and laugh together. But after what Hal told them and how actually disturbing the whole ordeal is. Even the lanterns grow worry about their bat friend.

 

So whenever there's a media coverage and bustling reporters trying to trapped Bruce in, the Lanterns will shout at them to back off and give Bruce enough time to escape. Jessica prefers to comfort Bruce as they both run away from the press while everyone else is holding them back, she feels like he needs some.

(On the other hand, Guy loves shoving entitled paparazzi away, so it's a win-win!!)

 

Even his children's friends knows! They can see how Cass is seething at any particular ladies who go up to her dad. Dick usually consult to Wally and his team about his frustrations and concerns (which in turn only spread further). Tim, despite being a pretty secretive person, always makes it known to his friends about what's going on with Batman's life. Jason and Damian will rant to whoever is willing to listen and go off each time. Duke is usually awkward and uncomfortable when talking about it, while Steph won't shut up about his treatment.

Sometimes they invite their friends to his galas whenever they weren't able to attend them and keep those creeps in check.

Especially Carmine Falcone, whose creepiness to child Brucie (even now, which is no different) is widely known in the hero communities that it's not joke anymore. There's heroes who outright said Falcone is their least favourite villain and he won the most hated general guy in the league

Bruce has mixed feelings over all this. At first, he's grateful that his love ones are look out for him, even in the most trivial of times. He would do the same to be honest.

But...its getting out of hand where, this help only make Bruce feel even more helpless — Like Bruce is bringing all those disgusting leers onto himself, he can handle it. He should handle it. He knows how to handle it. He's not actually some dumb fragile glass that they need to treat with caution. Saving himself from dire situations, mentally reminds himself who he is and what he's worth. You can't just take it from him. Nevertheless, there's times he can't and it went too far...

Right now, after being saved from another weird cultist kidnappers; Constantine and Patrick are ushering him away from the masses while Dinah is holding people back with Kory and Dick. Its not about Bruce, the papers aren't going to be about him, and yet they treated as if it is. And Bruce, lets them. Bruce lets them handle him like some damsel in distress who couldn't do anything to save himself.

Bruce hates that part of himself. Ashamed even. Being saved like this will constantly remind Bruce that he's still playing the same poor, pretty little orphan in need of rescue at that shitty alley— by his family, friends, coworkers and even their fucking children. Thus, it further solidify his shamed. Bruce resents it, but doesn't know what to make out of it

K, so im gonna copy and paste my response from the previous part here!!

I LOVEEEEEE your points about Bruce's inner struggle with accepting care vs embracing care. I feel like this trope for THAT context frame echoes truth especially loudly.

Bruce being a victim of SA/Sexual Harassment and not rationalising that bc it happens SO often that he just. Stopped characterizating it as Harassment hits. Because I feel like.

Men don't know how to accept a help that doesn't harm them. Weather it's alpha male coaches embarassing them and their identity that they themselves seek out, or balantly ignoring clear signs of abuse, there's a certain viciousness in how men treat themselves and their trauma.

Bruce is like that not because he wants to appear MANLY, or because he thinks it's a Women's Thing, but simply because he sees himself as a tower of protection. What's the point of protecting others if you can't even protect yourself?

[yvtro]

Ideally, how would you change Jason's story? I completely agree with what you're saying and love Jason but I don't really know how you could really fix that without completely changing his character?

Maybe instead of retconning his behavior have him instead realize he was in the wrong and grow from it that way it doesn't change his past comics?

yes!! but also no. i talked a bit about it here, but let me elaborate.

there's plenty of potential in post-resurrection jay material, as shitty as it is. i love stories about haunting and about trying to escape from the narrative and about regaining autonomy, and i love reconstruction. which is why i think the best thing to do here is primarly to do what you said: for jason to realise he was in the wrong and grow from it.

i think here a new narrative (new-old, because it's something that some writers have been trying to imply but never succeeded) could be given shape, one more compliant with his 80s characterisation: that he gave in to a moral defeat mostly because of the tension between how it was initially his sensitivity and devotion to protecting others that pushed him into extreme methods as a vigilante & the fact that he tried to detach himself from these feelings at the same time. (of course it is much more complicated, because there's plenty things coming into play regarding his red hood persona, including bruce, his personal trauma etc., but let's set it aside for another time). in other words, he turned to extreme methods because he cared too much and didn't know how to handle it, so ended up repressing it and committing to violence in order to avoid vulnerability. we could move towards this interpretation of his story in two ways:

–– by jason failing completely and hitting the very rock bottom. i'm thinking about him, for example, killing the wrong person by accident and being confronted with the consequences of his action. or maybe failing to protect someone because of his methods. this would be a wake up call for him. it's an easy, fun and fast vision, this one. altern

–– by a gradual process of jason opening up back to his community and seeing that his actions do not help them in the ways he hoped, and that him committing to more positive and grassroot work makes a much bigger difference.

i'm a fan of the first option because there's so much space for pathos there, and the second scenario can naturally follow from there. i'd like to see bruce in this kind of story, also; i want jason breaking down and asking "if my ways don't work, and your ways don't work, then what will work? are we doomed to live like that? i want these people safe. for them to feel safe" "jay. do you not feel safe?"

what then though? well, jason has to learn how to live. i talked about if before, but i think one of the biggest sources of jay's misery is that he doesn't really have any civilian identity. i want to see jason unburying himself and for dc to actually address this issue instead of hinting at the fact that he's no longer legally dead (not even talking about lobdell's storyline where jason reveals that, i'd rather forget.) i want to see jason retiring for at least some time and living among people instead of working on the peripheries of the society with no connection to anyone.

and then, if he takes up the mask again... controversial, but i would love to see him as batman at some point, even if just for a while or as a substitute for bruce when b is not around. i think one part of batman's philosophy that is completely overlooked by many jason fans, and that would be so valuable for jason's storyline, is that bruce is completely aware both of all the evil in the world and the long term futility of vigilantism. the thing is that he is also able to own the success of helping even just one person. and it's something that jay, on the other hand, can't seem to be able to focus on; he is so preoccupied with both suffering of the others and his own pain, that he is not able to appreciate small "wins."

not to quote this again but jason really needs to realise that "one measure of maturity might be attaining an awareness that there can be no genuine devotion to fighting the forces that unworldly the world without genuine devotion to the littlest manifestation of beauty that make this planet a world and this existence a life.” he needs to embrace hope the way bruce did, because there's no other way of living for self-sacirificial bastards like them (and they are so similar in so many ways that are completely overlooked by writers, although i guess it's also hard to see it with how chronically mischaracterised bruce has been in recent years).

of course i don't mean that jason should be moulded into a copy of bruce. he should actually become better than bruce, and that's not that hard to achieve given that jason has infinitely more connection to the people. he has a community where his dedication comes from, and he is needed there, among them, as opposed to above them.

having said that, this story couldn't really happen with some changes to the canon, by which i don't really mean retconning anything, but rather underwriting certain reboots, to name a few:

–– the story has to get jason's origin as a robin and his inherent kindness right. it has to denounce lots of flashbacks in which jay was potrayed as aggressive and angry. this should come with the narrative addressing victim-blaming, but this is a complicated matter, because jason being victim-blamed was not only shitty for his character, but also sometimes rather out of character for the others. and i'm personally not necessarily interested in mindless whump at expanse of the narrative as a whole. so it's tricky, but we need to see victim-blaming being acknowledged without jason being victimised further for no good reason.

–– willis and catherine should be shown to be as loving as they were originally. willis being abusive doesn't add anything to jason's story rather than trauma porn and classist undertones. it's not necessary here.

–– honestly, let's just ignore half of rhato. bruce beating up jason for example was a crazy fantasy that didn't bring in anything to the narrative.

with these aspects corrected, the story can be reframed as a reconstruction of tragedy, where jason realises that there's no fate (and definitely no fate adjacent to classist rhetorics) that he needs to fight by commiting to the tragic irony of assuming his murderer's past persona. all he needs to do is to go back to his roots and find a way to live with all that happened to him, and still have hope and love for the people he seeks to protect.

so, tldr: yes to development from the point where we are at, but also yes to underwriting and reconstruction of past events in a less invasive way to push the storyline in the right direction. of course what i described above is also a very specific scenario, but you asked how i would ideally do it, so i delivered.

[sporadically-sexy]

A Lesson in Self Defense

When Jason starts teaching free self defense classes, the last person he expects to show up is his replacement. Tim hears about Jason’s lessons and takes it upon himself to make sure the Red Hood’s not up to something, so in retaliation Jason uses him as a test dummy for the class. Neither of them expect to like it quite that much.

Read on AO3 here! Warning, this is rated E for explicit!

Next >

At five of six, a reasonably sized group of people have gathered. It’s not a large crowd, but it’s enough. Jason’s feeling pretty pleased with himself when he spots him.

What the fuck is the pretender doing here, chatting with the other students? He’s sure as fuck not here for the free self defense lessons. This is a beginner’s class, there’s nothing he’s teaching the brat doesn’t already know. And even if he did, Jason’s sure as fuck not going to be the one teaching him.

Whatever he’s doing here, he’s not welcome, and Jason’s going to make sure he knows it. He carefully does not storm over to where the pretender is standing.

“S’cues me, could I borrow him for just a sec?” He says to the young blonde woman Tim’s chatting with.

“Oh sure.” The woman says. “Of course, we can talk more later.”

Tim smiles at her, but tenses imperceptibly as Jason steers him away from the others.

“What the fuck are you doing here, pretender?” Jason hisses.

“Well the Red Hood is giving self-defense lessons in my neighborhood, and I wanted to know why.” Tim says dryly.

“It never occurred to you that maybe it’s just for the good of the community?” Jason says through gritted teeth. He doesn’t like what the pretender is implying.

“Oh, it occurred to me. But when have you done anything to earn the benefit of my doubt?” Tim asks cooly. “Was it the time you nearly slit my throat, the time you wrote a message in my blood, or the time you put a batarang in my chest?”

Jason doesn’t have an answer to that. The little shit’s right, he’s got no ground to stand on. The pretender has every right to be suspicious of Jason.

“If it makes you feel any better, Bruce didn’t ask me to come. I’m here on my own.” It does make him feel better, actually, that Bruce didn’t feel the need to check up on him. At least not in this. “And as it happens, I do live in the neighborhood.”

That’s news to Jason. He hadn’t realized the kid had moved out of the manor. But looking at him, the pretender’s not much of a kid anymore. Those cheekbones are sharp, not a hint of baby fat to be found.

“Little robin’s flying far from the nest.” Jason says. He doesn’t for a second believe that spoiled little rich boy Tim Drake lives in Crime Alley.

“What, you haven’t heard?” Tim sneers. “I’m not Robin anymore.”

“Oh I’ve heard. You’re Red Robin now. Because what’s mine is yours.” He says nastily. He knows enough about how Tim actually became Robin to know his old anger was irrational and unfair. That doesn’t mean Tim doesn’t still piss him off though.

“Because I needed something already tainted, and that suited the bill.” Tim says coolly, and Jason should probably get away from this conversation before he starts seeing green.

“You wanna stick around? Fine. But don’t think I’m gonna take it easy on you.” Jason snaps.

“I would never expect you to.” Tim shoots back, and he walks away to rejoin the other participants.

Jason takes a few calming breaths, getting his temper under control before he calls the class to order. He introduces himself and goes over the basics of what they’ll be doing.

“The best way to win a fight is not to fight in the first place, so we’re gonna focus on how to get away from someone grabbing you. For the first move, I’m gonna do a demonstration. Tim, thanks so much for agreeing to help.” He says, giving the replacement a nasty smile. He hopes he hadn’t given the participants a false name. (That’s a lie, be kinda does.)

Tim’s eyes narrow momentarily, but he plays along. “It’s my pleasure. I did some self defense stuff back when I was a kid, but I’m not sure how much I remember.” Giving himself an out for if he’s better than a beginner should be.

“First I’m gonna show you what an attacker might do, then I’m gonna go over how to get out of it.” Tim nods, preparing himself, but Jason moves before he’s ready and Tim reacts on instinct. He flips Jason over his shoulder. Jason rolls with it, but Tim grabs him around the knee and completely fucks his landing, and he ends up on his back. Luckily they’re on mats, so nothing’s hurt but his pride.

“Wow!” Tim says, the picture of surprise. “I guess I remember more than I thought.”

“That was amazing!” The blonde woman gushes.

“I would never have been able to do that if Jason hadn’t let me.” Tim lies, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. Jason can say he was caught off guard all he likes, but the truth is Tim absolutely had him, and they both know it.

“That’s still awesome! He’s so much bigger than you, and you totally took him down!” The woman says, with all the grace and tact of a child.

“A lot of my training was focused on how to take down opponents who were bigger than me.” Tim says sheepishly. “I practiced a lot when I was younger.”

That’s absolutely true. What he’s not saying is that that was a move taught to him by Lady Shiva, specifically to disable uber athletic opponents like Dick Grayson. Or people taught by Dick Grayson.

Jason can feel his face heating up, but he forces himself to keep his cool. Mostly.

“Since you’re so experienced , you can help me with the rest of the demonstration. With out flipping me this time.” Jason says through gritted teeth. Tim took him down and they both know it, even if no one else does. Jason takes a few more calming breaths. This class is supposed to help people who are in dangerous situations, but that’s not gonna work out if the teacher comes across as an arrogant hothead.

“Of course. It would be my pleasure, Jason. Just tell me what to do.” Tim says, the picture of affable geniality. Jason hates him.

Still, he moves slower this time, which is better for demonstration purposes anyway. He positions Tim facing away from him, which he can tell the pretender doesn’t like.

“I see this kind of thing all the time in clubs.” Jason says, slipping an arm around the pretender’s waist from behind and pulling him close. Tim tenses slightly, and Jason can feel his muscles contracting under his thin t-shirt. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised the pretender is so well muscled— he’s a Bat, he has the same crazy training routine as the rest of them— but he is. He supposes it’s because he looks so slight, although if he were shirtless he’d bet Tim would have the same dorito shape as the rest of them.

He goes over how to twist and break free of the hold, and then pairs them off to practice. Tim is immediately claimed by the pretty blonde woman, which pisses Jason off all the more. Of course she’d immediately attach herself to Drake, Gotham’s perfect boy. She hasn’t even made the connection to who he really is and she’s still fawning all over him. Jason does his best to ignore them, going around the room and giving gentle corrections as needed. They practice that move for fifteen minutes before Jason calls to a halt.

“Alright, lookin good folks. I’m gonna show you the next move. Tim, if you wouldn’t mind assisting me?” Jason can tell Tim’s not pleased to be used as a test dummy, but that’s just too damn bad.

“For the next move, I’m gonna show you how to disable someone who grabs you by the arm. The main thing is to break their hold and get away, but I’ll also show you how to attack. Tim, if you wouldn’t mind grabbing me by the arm?”

The replacement complies, and Jason takes great pleasure is showing them how to get out of the move, and a follow up they could do if they needed to disable their opponent before running. It involves sticking his fingers right near the pretender’s eyes and his knees right near his balls, and it’s enjoyable to see him flinch ever so slightly as Jason comes close. Then he sets them back into pairs, and they practice that for the next fifteen minute. Jason walks around, correcting forms and helping out.

He shows them how to get out of two more holds using the pretender as his test dummy. It’s fun to feel his muscles tense slightly under Jason’s hands. He can tell how uncomfortable the pretender is to be here, but that’s his own damn fault for coming. Jason didn’t make him, and as far as revenge plots go, this is pretty fucking mild.

“Alright, good job everyone, you’re really getting the hang of this.” Jason calls to signal the end of the class. “But the only way to really make sure you’ve got it is to practice until it becomes muscle memory, and that’s more than we can do in an hour long class. So get together with your friends— or make friends with the other folks here— and practice outside of class too. I’ll probably go over this stuff again in future classes, because I know not everyone will be here every time. But if you practice for ten minutes every day, you’ll really be prepared for when it happens in real life.”

There’s an appreciative murmur that goes around the class, and people start packing up to go.

“Will you be back next week?” The blonde woman, who has since identified herself as Layla, asks Drake.

“I’m not sure. My schedule’s pretty busy.” He hedges. Jason can tell he’s a little uncomfortable with the attention.

“You should definitely come. You make a good demonstration dummy.” Jason says as sweetly as he’s able, which isn’t all that sweet, but at least isn’t outwardly hostile. Tim looks and him and Jason gives him a cocky grin. Tim’s eyes narrow, considering.

“I’ll think about it.” He says finally.

“Do.” Jason says, sickly sweet, and the pretender finally leaves. A couple of the other students have questions for him after the class, so he answers those before heading out himself. He doesn’t go far, just to the next room over where he’s set up some workout equipment. He may not have all the bells and whistles of the Batcave, but he’s got a pretty good thing going. After his workout he heads home to his primary safe house. He’s reluctant to call it his apartment, even though that’s basically what it is at this point. Still, referring to it as his safe house feels safer, in case he has to burn it in the future. He takes a shower and grabs himself a non-alcoholic beer to enjoy before patrol. He’s got time to kill and he wants to relax for a bit.

He flips through his subscription services for something to watch, but nothing catches his interest, so he decides to deal with his boredom the old fashioned way. He grabs some lube out of a convenient drawer and leans back against his couch. He undoes his pants and shoves down his boxers just enough to get his dick out before slicking himself up. He buys himself the good lube, the stuff that really lasts. It the same stuff Bruce had awkwardly presented him with when he’d given him the sex talk, but Jason tries not to think about that. He doesn’t need to consider that he uses the same brand of lube as the Batman.

He casts about for a pleasant fantasy to distract himself with, preferring his own imagination to porn. For some reason, he lands on the pretender’s face, which, weird, but he rolls with it. He imagines Tim on his knees on Jason’s floor, sucking him off, his pretty mouth spread wide around Jason’s cock. Yes, that’s a nice fantasy. He’d start off slow, unsheathing himself and watching the pretender’s eyes widen at his size. He’d feed it to him slowly, because Jason’s a gentleman like that. He’d choke and gag slightly, but he’d take him fully, and Jason would feel so good fully sheathed in his throat.

He’d start moving, just a little bit at first, getting the pretender used to the stretch. He’d watch the tears forming in those pretty blue eyes as he struggles to take it all. Once Jason’s sure he can take it, he’ll start moving a bit faster. Just a bit, no need to rush. He’ll hold his dick down the pretender’s throat, and he’ll make sweet little noises as he chokes on Jason’s cock.

He wants more of those sounds, and he’ll get them once he starts fucking him in earnest, the hot wet sounds that come from fucking someone’s mouth and the ones that are all Tim as he gags and chokes as Jason fucks into him. He’ll take it beautifully though, looking up at Jason with wide, wet eyes. Jason move faster and faster, fucking his own fist with a wet squelching sound. He’s so close, he can feel his orgasm coming on. In his minds eyes, he pulls out just in time to come all over the pretender’s perfect pretty face. In real life, Jason comes into his hand, panting, making sure not to get any on his clothes or couch.

So… that was weird. He’s never thought about his replacement like that before, and he’s not entirely sure how he feels about it, despite how hot the fantasy was. He thinks about it. Is it a little fucked up that he’s having fantasies about his replacement? Probably, given that he’s tried to kill the kid more than once. But Tim’s not his brother, no matter how much Bruce might want to pretend otherwise. It’s not hurting anyone, so Jason doesn’t really care. It’s a hot fantasy, and it got him off. That’s all that really matters.

He cleans off and then suits up. He’s got work to do.

[autisticcassandracain]

I’m still thinking abt Duke’s comic in #19. It’s just so frustrating something that’s been sat on for like 2 years was ‘resolved’ so poorly. And maybe it would have been fine to end it with getting Duke’s mom back, but then they had to heal her and reveal Duke’s identity to her in so little time. And I just know that the next time we see Duke they’re going to do a time skip to where everyone’s settled into a new normal with no actual development from point a to point ‘everything’s great’. And the same thing happened with Cheer, where a writer had to resolve a years old chasm between Bruce and Jason’s ideology in 6 issues.

It’s not fair that Duke fans have to wait 2 years for 2 issues of comics, and then the writer making those comics has to fit 2 years worth of plot into said 2 issues. It leaves Duke’s character feeling too stagnant and too rushed all at once. Batman Secret Files gave a really good setup of two conflicts with a lot of emotional value: The growing schism between him and his community (shown by the Robins, but Gotham Nights #8 shows more people he’s found himself estranged from), and the disappearance of his mom. I was really excited to see how the resolution of the former would be executed, but seeing how the latter turned out I’m afraid of it being rushed to a shoddy, saccharine conclusion as well.

I've never read Cheer because I'm a known Jason Todd Hater and have no opinions on it for the same reason. I also really didn't like the direction Secret Files headed with the Robin Collective. I've talked about it before but I think the way the former Robin gang has been treated since We Are Robin ended is disgraceful and Secret Files in particular is outright character assassination as far as I'm concerned. Now that that's the only storyline they still have going with Duke I'm even more annoyed by it. I don't think it's possible to write a satisfying arc where the jumping off point is the complete assassination of the themes and characters of We Are Robin, and now I can't even hope they'll just forget it exists because it's the only thing left to be resolved with Duke.

I mean, there are things DC can still do with him; they still haven't properly gone in-depth on how he functions as a daytime vigilante, and they still haven't properly resolved the Gnomon mystery. But considering that Elaine's kidnapping was clearly a set-up for a dropped Gnomon storyline, it's safe to assume that the guy won't make an appearance anytime soon. And DC seems to try everything they can to avoid acknowledging Duke as a daytime vigilante in any meaningful way, so. With Duke's family conflict resolved (presumably, bc I doubt they're just gonna let his dad stay jokerized), that leaves Duke to flounder with no direction.

It's amazing how much a single issue completely kneecapped his story potential in future DC Comics, and it's impossible not to speculate about an editorial mandate, considering the clear departure from whatever arc was planned. At best, it probably has to do with whatever Dark Crisis is up to. At worst, this is editorial deciding to wrap things up since Duke doesn't sell well enough.

I hope something comes along soon that gives Duke a new ongoing arc, otherwise his future in DC Comics looks pretty bleak.

[clarktooncrossing]

Giraffe's Eye View | Spy x Family REVIEW (Kind of)

Hello there people of today and robots of tomorrow! It's me, Clark, here with another rambling collection of my opinions. When last I did this it was in regards to Komi Can't Communicate, my favorite anime that actually originates in Japan. I have since watched all of Season 2 of the show, which amplified the adorable factor with all the times Komi had full conversations with Tadano. Seriously, my heart melted knowing whenever I saw her overcome her phobia. That said, Season 2 had by far the worst moment on the show, one I saw coming thanks to the manga. While on a school trip to Kyoto, Stalker McGee (Amai Ren to the people who somehow like her) plans to gaze upon Komi's breasts when they the girls have to share a bath house together. I was already annoyed by how Agari's seemingly gigantic boobs were once again acting as the butt of the joke, so seeing Stalker salivate at the idea of touching Komi's boobs made me physically uncomfortable. Heck, considering how much of a psychotic pervert she is, I'm surprised she even asked. To top it off, the next episode has Komi interacting with two very sweet students that I wish the show would focus on more. One's a busy body named Katou Mikuni and her yo-yo loving friend is called Sasaki Ayami. They treat Komi to a fun day at totally not Universal Studios Japan, never once trying to grope their new friend. Why this series puts so much focus on Stalker McGee as apposed to any of these characters is a mystery to me, but following this episode I pretty much fast forwarded through every scene she was in. Their White Day episode took place on Friday the 13th, leading me to hope Jason Voorhees could show up and shut this creep up! No such luck.

The one time this guy doesn't wanna introduce a horny teenage idiot to his machete, unbelievable! And no, I don't actually wish horrible things upon this character, I just wish she'd go away!

Needless to say I was feeling pretty annoyed when I decided to check out another anime that had been gaining popularity ever since it started streaming on Hulu.

Every where I turn on the Internet there's clip compilations of Anya being cute or inappropriate fan art of Yor on deviantART, and of course none of my friends on Discord will shut up about this show. Being the fan of the found family trope myself, I finally caved in and gave it a watch myself.

The show centers around Michael Weston, a recently burned spy who's forced back to his hometown of Miami, Florida due to unforeseen circumstances. There he's joined by retired Navy Seal Sam Axe, ex-girlfriend and explosives genius Fiona Glenanne, and even his mother, who all help Michael clear his name over the course of eight seasons.

No wait, I'm thinking of a different spy show.

It's called Burn Notice and all of you should totally watch it! If the compelling ongoing story of what happened to Michael doesn't draw you in, the promise of eight seasons worth of Bruce Campbell should!

Back to the show we were talking about, it centers around a super-spy known only as Twilight!

Out there is a universe where this guy has the codename Agent Rainbow Dash. In this universe Twilight / Loid Forger is tasked with stopping a war between two countries. How do they intend on him doing that? By turning him into a family man of course! In order to prevent war Loid has to deal with a man named Donovan Desmond, who only appears at social gatherings held at his son's super-elite school. Twilight accepts, adopting the most adorable little girl known as Anya, not knowing that the pink-haired cutie can read minds.

Anya uses her Professor X style powers to get out of a lot of scrapes, such as reading her potential new dad's mind in order complete a crossword puzzle. This convinces the super spy of the girl's intelligence, being the fifth person to adopt the poor little girl. Given how utterly depressing Anya's backstory is, rooting for her proves to be no problem, even when she does act somewhat bratty. If nothing else this show does a terrific job showing how unpredictable children are. She's never a little devil in disguise, nor is she a fallen angel. She's just a decent kid who loves peanuts, penguins, and anime. She also hates carrots and wishes bakery sold bacon. Heck, I'm with Anya on that last one, why don't bakeries sell bacon!?

She also figures out pretty easily that Loid is a spy, a factor she loves considering her favorite show is all about spies.

Her excitement only grows when she meets her new mother, an assassin known as Thorn Princess/ Yor Forger.

Behold, the subject of so much fanart online! I kid but honestly Yor's the most likable character on the show. Despite her night job as an assassin, she tries to be as good a mother to Anya she can be. She's nurturing, supportive, and kicks the ever-loving crap out of anybody who'd dare harm her baby. Yor Forger has the best Momma Bear Mode in all of freak'n fiction.

Along with her relationship with Anya, Yor's relationship with Loid is pretty sweet too. Like so many rom coms, the two get together under contrived circumstances. The school Anya needs to enroll in excludes single parents for whatever reasons, meaning Loid needs a mate in order to achieve world peace. Meanwhile Anya needs a cover up to her assassin job, plus she doesn't want her somewhat creepy brother Loid to find out she was lying about having a boyfriend. The two find each other with Anya's help, forming a fake bond with some very real at its center, regardless of whether or not they want to admit it. Yor gives Twilight the best advice she can, Twilight tries to navigate Yor out of awkward situations, and both act as protective parental units for Anya. A good example of this comes during Anya's entrance exam, one obnoxiously rude headmaster asking Anya if she prefers her new mom or her old one. With tears dripping down their baby's face, you can believe that Yor or Loid would've killed this pompous ass-wipe for saying something so cruel.

Luckily Anya is accepted, which is only half the battle. From there she has to contend with homework and Desmond's second son Damian. If my exposure to the DC Universe has taught me anything, it's that spoiled rich sons called Damian are the biggest brats of them all. While this Damian never gets his butt handed to him by the Ninja Turtles, Anya more than picks up the slack due to training from her mom.

As someone who was bullied extensively when he was younger, scenes like this always feel like karma finally being fulfilled. Unfortunately that's the one kid in school Anya has to befriend. And despite the weird feeling in his heart whenever he's around her, Damian refuses to play ball. Unlike Becky, the daughter of a military contractor who immediately forms a friendship with the Forger kid. Honestly it's so nice when anything good happens to Anya, considering this is the first time a family hasn't returned her. Seeing how all the Forgers help support each other despite continued claims that they're a 'fake family' is beyond heart-warming. It's easy to see why everybody's addicted to this show.

However, that brings me to a major problem. Not with the show mind you, but with Hulu. Back with my Princess Mononoke review I made a big stink about subs vs dubs, rambling on about why I prefer dubbing over subtitles. It all boiled down to me not wanting to read anything at the bottom of the screen when my full attention should go to the bigger picture as a whole. This wasn't a problem with Spy x Family, their first 12 episodes dubbed over. Then came episode 13 and all of a sudden every other episode was subbed. The heck? What happened to the dubs?

My friend Alec explained there are dubs for the rest of Season 1, all of them locked behind a paywall on Crunchyroll. Anybody who's about to type how I should join their premium service can stop right now. I'm addicted to four animes out a billion. Why would I sign up for a service I'd rarely use? Bad as I am with saving money, I ain't that financially foolish. Now I tried to watch the version with subtitles, but I realized how that wasn't gonna fly when a scene with multiple people talking at once played out. Yeah, nope. So for now I have to track down the mangas while waiting for Hulu to get the rest of Season 1. This is really a bummer considering I know who was joining the family come the later half of the season...

What a freak'n tease! For now though, I can confidently say that Spy X Family is fun for the whole family! Grab yourself a bag of peanuts and go check it out for yourself.

Meanwhile, wanna know my thoughts on other anime content? Check out my previous reviews for Komi Can't Communicate and Princess Mononoke! Until then; may the glasses be with you!

NEXT TIME ON GIRAFFE'S EYE VIEW...

[raeofgayshine]

*stares at the ceiling* I know I haven’t talked much about bird au but I cannot stop thinking about

The first time Tim comes over to the Wayne’s. Jason had finally convinced him to stay the night, and though Tim is hesitant because he’s not supposed to show his wings, he figures he can stand binding them a few extra hours that day, and just hoped the rest of the family wouldn’t question it like Jason hadn’t.

Anyways, what I’m thinking of in particular is that night when they’re watching a movie, and Bruce has joined them because of course he has, he likes hanging out with his kids and he’s heard enough about Tim that he wants to get to know him.

Jason is leaning on Bruce and is mostly covered by one of his wings, as per his favorite spot. And they’re watching the movie (Pride and Prejudice, and Jason is being such a nerd about it, pointing out like “Oh they changed Jane’s bird from the books.” “They actually had to dye all of Darcy’s feathers for this.” “That’s not the real call, they were trying to fake it but they couldn’t get it right.” This isn’t important but I wanted to include it because I love my boy.)

At the end of the movie, Bruce says it’s time for bed. Jason starts to argue because it’s not even that late, and almost instantly they turn from using words to using bird calls. Bruce’s chainsaw like noise, firm in its stance the boys need their rest. Jason’s own screeching disapproval, sounding like a broken alarm clock, insisting they should stay up longer.

They argue for a few minutes using only the sound of their birds. And from the other end of the couch Tim stares, first in confusion, and then awe, and then finally a crushing ache of jealousy and loneliness. Because his parents never used their bird calls. Not towards each other, not towards Tim, not even with their friends. Tim thinks he could count on one hand the times he’s heard either of their calls. And never in response to him.

Much like their feelings about wings, Tim’s parents believed using bird calls was unsightly. Sure, if you had one of the pretty chirping noises it was fine, but for anyone else it could only hurt your social status. His parents were both swans, and they hated their calls with a passion. They never used them, and Tim was never meant to use his. The few times he had heard their calls, they had slipped out. Usually when one of them was yelling about something.

And Tim knew, logically, that other families used their calls. It was talked about, how despite making different noises families learned how to understand each others bird calls, and they could use them to communicate in a language no one else could understand. He knew it happened, but he had never heard it in person.

Not until that day. Sitting on the couch, watching as Bruce and Jason argue, both of them with bird calls his parents would cringe at hearing. As if it was no big deal, something that they did every single day. All while Jason was still wrapped up in Bruce’s wing.

And I’m laying here thinking about Tim, who in that moment realizes there was a connection he needed that he never had. He never knew how much he desperately wanted to call out and have his parents call in return, for them to understand each other through their other language, one that he was never taught and was never given a chance to use. And it hurts, so much, all at once, to stare at Jason and Bruce, a chosen duo of family, who understood each other so fluently in their language they could have entire conversations.

This was the start of the end for Tim, though he didn’t realize it then. The start of him realizing how much he was hurting by hiding such a huge part of him, which eventually will lead to him learning to embrace his wings and everything else about him.

[quotidian-oblivion]

FF ask: if a fic title was "New day, old problems" what would you write in it?

Just came up with that title on the spot and low-key not that bad

I love that title, Vibey. I think i'll call on you next time when i need to title something. Spare the readers from dad jokes for once.

Hmm, let's see. I would write about... ugh i cant think. I'm not in my writers mood rn. Which ask number is this? It's no. 13.

Hmm, i'd write about Tim going through A Day. He keeps being pelted with problems left and right. WE assignments. Overdue tasks. A new case opened up. A mugging that ended up with him getting stabbed. Jason's in the manor today and everyone is on edge as they always are with him. Just problems ad problems and he's getting stressed and stressed.

And then Damian's making a fuss cuz of course he does, he's a little brother and little brothers are legally obligated to get on their older brothers' nerves. So Damian's berating him about something, maybe his inattentiveness cuz he got stabbed in a mugging.

Dick is sending glances at him, unsure of whether or not to interrupt cuz Tim's been real cagey after the whole Bruce gets lost in time fiasco. Speaking of Bruce, they still haven't had that conversation after returning back.

So Tim gets up and walks away from Damian while the kid is still talking and then he trips, but manages to keep from falling, but it shakes his stitches and he's in pain and gets reminded of when he lost his spleen, he was bleeding in the desert and of how alone he felt and how he still feels lonely. He thought everything would be alright. He thought it would all be okay after saving Bruce. But it's not. It's still not okay. He's still alone.

He's always.

Fucking.

Alone.

So he crumples to his knees and his shoulders start shaking and tears start dripping and then the whole Cave freezes. Dick asks what happened and Tim... Tim doesn't have the strength to reply. He bursts into sobs. Openly. He doesn't care anymore.

The whole family gathers around him now, unsure as to how they can reassure him, but Tim throws himself to the person nearest to him. Which was coincidentally Bruce. He sobs into Bruce's arms and the delicate stitches rip and he's bleeding on him as well. But he doesn't care. He's given up now.

It seems that Bruce doesn't care either cuz he isn't showing any signs of letting go. Instead, he starts stroking Tim's hair. And Tim melts.

Snot and tears and drool are leaking everywhere. Tim hasn't cried in a long time. He's almost forgotten the experience.

"What's wrong, chum?" Bruce asks quietly, still running his fingers through his hair.

Tim is about to shake his head, but stops. He doesn't care now, does he? He doesn't care about what answer he gives.

"I feel alone," he whispers, so so quietly. And so so honestly. He's never been this honest before.

Anyway, so then the batfam comforts him blah blah. Damian was actually worried about his brother and didnt know how to express it. Dick too was worried and didnt know how to fix their relationship again. Jason was sorry and he still is cuz it was about time he accepted Tim as his brother. And Bruce... Bruce just wasn't sure if Tim still wanted to be his son.

And so, the batfamily and Tim learn an important lesson. Communication! Which, yk, is something they're sorely missing.

~

Idk if this is too long, but eh. I'm not gonna turn this into a proper fic though, dont really feel like it. If you or anyone else wants to, then thats fine! Give credit where its due and all, but yeah. Hope you like it cuz i literally made it on the spot and im still going through my burnout so idk if this is really that good.

Also, i dont usually write in present tense, i just plan plotlines in it. I mainly write with past tense cuz thats the only tense i feel is easy to be consistent with for me.

Thanks for this question, Vibes, I really liked it!

[am-i-obsessed---maybe]

Hello! I've been following your wayne bro series since the start and it's so interesting i love it!! If you're not busy i want to request a fic where wayne!bro and tim bond together? Bc i noticed they weren't exactly close with eo at the start but in the super sons fic they seem more friendly, i was curious on how that developed ^^ idk if this makes sense lol, hope ur having a good day!!!

I knew generally how this would go (which is why this took so long, sorry about that) but I can't for the life of me get the energy to write a full fic so I'm gonna write it as headcannons instead, hope you enjoy! (yeah, it got out of hand but it worked, this was the turn in Tim and Wayne!Bro's relationship and proof that the only way this family can communicate is when everything is falling apart😅)

- it's not that you didn't like Tim, he was a sweet kid, incredibly smart (some may say too smart for his young age) but it hadn't even been a year since Jason's death and the fact that Bruce was training another Robin just infuriated you.

- Unfortunately one thing is apparently genetic among the Waynes and that's their lack of healthy communication skills so your anger at Bruce unfortunately hurt Tim along the way

- He was 13 when he tracked Dick down and told him that not only did he know the identities of the batfamily but he knew that Batman needed a Robin because he saw how much angrier and more aggressive Batman was without him

- Eventually Tim wormed his way into the boy wonder costume and you fumed when you heard, you actually came to gotham to yell at Bruce

- None of this changed anything, you had no influence on your family's nightlife and Tim was adamant that he was staying... That being said it doesn't mean you had to like Tim or approve of any of this situation

- You ran into Tim on a few occasions, when Conner was first discovered, when you and your family visited the manor and inevitably when the boy's father died and Bruce officially took him in

- He often tried to talk to you, to bond but you couldn't, you were still grieving Jason and while you weren't angry at Tim it was difficult for you

- Eventually Bruce and Alfred had enough, even Dick (who was equally as mad at Bruce for training Tim) came around and even Clark liked him

- After two years of minimal contact Bruce told you that a young man had won an internship at Wayne Ent. and that he would be sending the boy to shadow you for a day as part of the program. He's done similar things before so you didn't think anything of it until you came to say hello to your assistant Anna who was happily chatting with a young man

- You assumed this would be the boy shadowing you so you happily came to introduce yourself

- "Good morning Anna, who might our guest be?" You asked and had to stop your expression from shifting when the boy turned around and Tim's happy face greeted you

- "Hi Mr. Wayne, it's nice to see you again" Tim said

- Suddenly things made complete sense and you only wondered if Clark and Alfred were in on this too or if it was only your brother's scheming

- The day was easy but full with meetings with department heads and a tour of a new lab for a metropolis branch of Wayne Biotech

- Tim asked a lot of questions and you were decently surprised that he seemed actually interested in the goings on of the company, his intelligence was indeed remarkable and you had no doubt that if he wanted to he could work in any scientific field he chose to study

- It was during lunch though the dreaded conversation happened

- You and Tim were eating lunch in your office while you reviewed some paperwork

"So you're not actually a perpetually serious business man like people say are you?" Tim asked and you looked up from your work.

"Is that what they say about me now?" You asked dryly before giving your actual answer to Tim's question like you'd been doing all day.

"No. That's as much a persona as Brucie is. It lets me keep my life private if I look boring"

Tim nodded taking a few more bites of the pasta he took from the cafeteria the tower had for it's employees.

"So that's why you look so work focused? so people leave you alone?" He asked and you nodded.

"I've never liked the spotlight" You said.

"Neither does Bruce" Tim said and you finally put your pen down.

"Bruce has always cared very little about what others think of him, from a young age he knew he didn't want a normal life, he had a mission, the price for which is that he must maintain a public persona" You explained.

"You don't like Batman." Tim simply stated.

"It's more complicated than that"

"Does that mean you were like this with Dick and Jason?" Tim asked and you could hear the desperation, hidden in his voice.

"I helped raise Dick, it was different and for reference I gave Bruce hell for making him Robin" You told Tim and your eyes wandered to a family photo on your desk, Bruce, Dick and Jason. From a family photo day you and Alfred practically had to force them into.

"Jason was a troubled boy he-"

"Met Bruce by stealing the batmobile's tires, I know" He cut off and you sighed.

"Stop cutting me off and listen. Jason had his issues and he needed more help than Dick or Bruce but he had so much potential. Jason- he was smart and compassionate with the biggest heart I've ever seen for someone who was hurt so much" Your voice wavered and you squeezed your eyes shut.

"When he died..." you began but trailed off.

"Bruce changed"

"We all changed. And I hoped I would never see someone wear that costume again. So I apologize if I've made you feel out of place in this family. You are welcomed here Tim but I refuse to support someone else wearing that suit after my nephew died because of it!" It was moments like these that made you thankful your office was sound proof.

"So, I'll always be the Robin whose not supposed to be?" Tim asked solemnly and you held your head as you took a deep breath.

"You sound like Bruce when he talks about his parents" Tim said.

"Neither of you know how to deal with grief." He stood up and grabbed his bag.

"Without Dick, without Jason, he's reckless and angry and irresponsible. Batman needs a Robin and Gotham needs Batman so..." His voice lost all his power as he stood with his backpack by the door he was just a scared little kid. The poor boy wasn't even 15 yet and was small and thin.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time Mr. Wayne" Tim said and you stood up to stop him.

"Tim wait" You placed your hands on his shoulders.

"This family, it's complicated. It always was. You don't- I don't want you to feel that I don't support you. I'm sorry Tim, you deserved better" Before you could do anything Tim was sobbing and you simply held him as he cried, just like you did with Jason, and Dick and Bruce once upon a time.

"It's okay Tim" You said as you helped him sit down on one of the comfy chairs in your office.

- You cancelled the rest of your work day and took Tim back to your apartment and for the first time since you met him you sat down and talked

- he told you about life in the manor and school, about his life before. The time his parents took him to the circus and he saw the flying graysons, the nights he'd spent looking out at the bat signal or out on the streets trying to see Batman and Robin. And you told him about yourself, your family. How you met Clark and funny stories you have of Bruce and Dick. It was pleasant.

- You two went to pick Jon up and you drove Tim back to Gotham and dropped him off at the manor

- "Master Y/N, we were not expecting you and master Jon back along with master Timothy" Alfred said when you got out of the car.

- "I took the today off after lunch so I thought I'd drop him off myself, besides Jon loves car rides" You joked and ruffled Tim's hair. "Feel free to drop by Metropolis or call if you need anything Timmy" You said and got back in making sure Jon was still asleep (he was) before driving back.

- "I assume it went well" Alfred said as he escorted Tim inside the manor and the preteen smiled.

- "yeah, it was great" He said.