#i just broke like thirty thousand milestones

[batbobsession]

Stuff I’ve Written

Let’s talk about something… - How Adam must have felt when he realizes he’s human again.

Our Fault - A oneshot of the prologue, from the eyes of Mrs. Potts.

Our Fault, Part 2 - The morning after the curse is cast.  Mrs. Potts tries to find Chip, and in doing so stumbles upon Chapeau, Plumette, and Cadenza.

Not Until My Whole Life is Done - Young Adam goes about his regular days in the castle, but something’s wrong…

Finale - Maurice looks upon all the happiness in the room during the final scene and realizes that his job as an artist is a lot more important than just making a picture.

That’s How a Moment Lasts Forever – An old man tells his granddaughter a story in hopes that it will fade into legend, and the residents of the castle will live on through it.

Less Human - Just the staff going about their normal activities, not even realizing that they’re becoming more and more like the objects they were cursed to be.

Enough - Belle runs away to find her mother.  This is Maurice’s reaction after they found her.

BatB in Four Parts - What if BatB 2017 was the third installment in a four-part movie series?

Nocturne - Not too far from where a provincial village sleeps, a castle sings its sorrows to the night sky.  No human wanders in such a place, but it is alive all the same. (Probably the one I’m the most proud of at the moment…)

The Nameless Prince - Our favorite castle staff finds themselves dealing with steampunk androids and Carrionites.  Also, the Doctor is in! (Doctor Who/BatB2017 crossover)

Long Ago - A reclusive earthbending prince meets a young inventor who teaches him that the world is a lot bigger and a lot kinder than he originally believes.  If Beauty and the Beast took place in the world of Avatar…

New Life: Part 1 – Based off of this post from @plumettesfeathers, @gastt, and @forr-everrmorre. Maurice sees Belle and Adam’s son for the first time.

New Life: Part 2 – Same thing, only with Garderobe and Cadenza seeing Plumette and Lumiere’s daughter. AU where Garderobe and Cadenza are Plumette’s parents.

Up in Smoke - Lumiere and Plumette contract a deadly disease.  Everyone thinks about how much their lives have been affected by the two, and decide that letting them die is out of the question.

Remember - What if the king was still alive and away from the castle at the time the curse was cast?  How would he feel once he remembers?  AU where Adam’s father is still alive.

Bit by Bit - What if over time the transformed staff became more object-like, and slowly stopped having human emotions?

A Shadow’s Tune - The French Revolution is in full swing, and many of the castle’s residents are starting to lose hope.  They’d hate to see their beloved home fall a second time…

One Moment - A collaboration done with the incredible@lumiereswig.  While the villagers teeter on the edges of anger and fear, the staff laments over the fact that Belle is gone, and now they will never be human again.  The other part of the collab is here.

What Might Have Been - Imagine Gaston wins. Imagine Belle arrives too late…and the Beast, wounded and alone, is forced to live the rest of his life as a monster. Maurice is carted off to the asylum, and Belle is forced to marry Gaston in order to keep her father alive. Now, fifteen years later, a small boy happens upon the castle and finds that it’s not like the stories he’s heard.

The Last Christmas - It’s only been months since the queen died, and already the castle is beginning to feel the weight of it.  But the servants look back and smile and remember the joy that they all felt when the queen was there to celebrate Christmas with them.

The Songs of Other Lives - my first poem on this blog!  It’s part of theSestina Challenge I issued a few days back.  Feel free to participate, so long as you tag me so I can see your awesome poems!  This one’s about the staff.

Music-based Prompts

The Midnight Waltz - On the eve of the summer solstice, the queen gathers her friends and family together to dance the night away.  But the celebration is not contained in the ballroom; the entire castle is affected by the music and the spirit.  Based on the David Garrett piece by the same name.  

Memories - Agathe isn’t as heartless as some may think, but her curse brings a purpose with it.  Based off of “The Impossible Planet” from the Doctor Who OST.

Grey - After the queen’s death, all of the happiness drains from the castle and its residents, especially the young prince.  Inspired by a piece from “The Killing” soundtrack.

Sunrise - It’s been a full day since the curse has been broken, but this is the first sunrise they’ve seen since being reunited with the ones they love.  Inspired by Leia’s Theme from Star Wars IV.

The Snow - On the night the curse was cast, the castle was changed. The village was changed.  We all seem to forget that the forest changed, too.  Based off of the Allegro from Vivaldi’s “Winter.”

Wooden - Cadenza has always played for Garderobe, his wife, his angel, his muse.  But this time, something’s off.  How…long has it been since he’s actually seen her?  Based off of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.

Garderenza

Never Let Go - my first real oneshot; a retelling of the fading scene as well as the relief afterwards, but all from Cadenza’s perspective.

The Rehearsal - Just a small thing; Garderobe and Cadenza practice for their first performance after the curse has been lifted.

Duet - Belle finds out about Cadenza and Garderobe’s marriage.

Can we talk about Cadenza’s love for Garderobe? - No, seriously.  Can we?

And Always Will - inspired by a post @lumiereswig wrote.  It’s been two hours since everyone’s woken up the morning after the curse has been cast.  So what’s on my mind for something like that? Angsty Garderenza.

Find Her Here - Garderobe and Cadenza discover an old castle secret.

Plumiere

Lumiette Thoughts - Lumiere just staring at Plumette because he can hardly believe he’s married to her now.

Golden Hour - very first real Plumiere oneshot.  They’re dancing in a garden.  What more can I say?

Run - Lumiere is sick with a illness that reminds Plumette a little too much of the plague.  As well as the death it brings in its wake.

OMG I wrote 37 fics for this movie.  I can’t even believe myself right now.

[myhockeyworld87]

Milestone Maker - Sidney Crosby

Word Count: 1,992

POV: Reader

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, Language

Notes: So you guys made me realize I could not let this milestone of my OG hockey hubby go by without writing a little something. I hope you all enjoy this. Happy Reading to all of you! Congratulation Sidney on 1000th games! Can’t wait to watch him in the next 1000. 

“Good morning, my love,” you greeted your husband, setting the breakfast tray down at the foot of the bed so that you could kiss him properly. “Happy one-thousandth game day.” Sid smiled sweetly at you, before drawing you back down for another kiss. You’d been married for almost nineteen months now and you still couldn’t get enough of each other.

Your foot bumped the tray, as the kiss turned heated, reminding you that you’d brought him breakfast on his special day. “What’s this?” He asked after hearing the clink of the silverware.

“I made you all your favorites.”

“You’re telling me there are waffles in there?”

“Of course, with strawberries, just the way you like them.” You set the tray on his lap, removing the cover that you’d placed on it so keep everything warm.

“You know the other way I like this?” He scooped up a dollop of whipped cream and smeared it on your lips before licking it away.

“Eat this first,” you ordered, lifting up a forkful of eggs to feed him. “Then we’ll move on to other things.” He took the proffered bite, seductively closing his lips around the utensil and you were suddenly second-guessing your decision to bring him breakfast in bed. “You know I’m supposed to be the one inciting you like that.”

“Babe, you literally walk in the room and I want you. So consider this a taste of your own medicine.” Sid decided to grab a piece of turkey bacon next, moaning dramatically as he ate. It was all over after that. You grabbed the tray and set it on the bench at the foot of the bed. “Hey,” Sid whined. “That’s my breakfast.”

“Mmmhmm, I’m aware.” You crawled back up the length of the bed so that you were situated beside the length of him

“Then you’re aware it’s getting cold.” That damn smirk was on his face, the one that never failed to turn your insides to goo.

“I’ll remake everything, but this can’t wait.” You shimmied the comforter and sheets that were pooled around his waist down, exposing his body to you. Hands raking down his chest, you felt his sharp intake of breath before you heard it. Sid took the satin ties of your robe and toyed with them between his fingers, itching to touch your body, but this was about him today. You swatted him away before bending down to kiss the little trail of hair that led to the place you knew would drive him wild.

Taking his cock, you let your tongue sneak out and lick the head, tasting his dewy precum. It was your turn to moan, and you felt Sid harden even further with just that small simple touch. When you wrapped your lips around his shaft, Sid’s head fell back against the bed, lost in the power of your mouth. His hand instinctively threaded through your hair, pulling it back so he could enjoy the view. You worked him in and out of your mouth; your hand pumping what couldn’t fit in. “You’re so fucking good to me, (Y/N).” Swirling your tongue around the head, Sid groaned out his pleasure. You had a knack of driving him to the brink in no time and today was no different.

You popped him out of your mouth, then trailed your tongue down to his balls, sucking and licking him the way you knew he liked. His shaft, you worked with your right hand, jerking it up and down in a motion that drove him mad. It was torturous, but torture that he loved and you loved taking him there. His hips bucked up in your hand and you knew he was close, so you took him back into your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks so you could suck him off.

“Fuck baby.” The words were no sooner out of his mouth than he was pushing you off of him and rolling you onto your back. Somehow the ties of your robe had come undone, and Sid pushed it open the rest of the way to reveal your naked form. “God, you’re beautiful.” His fingers slipped between your folds, to make sure that you were wet for him. There was no need for you’d been dripping since the moment he took that bite of egg, but Sid, being the gentlemen that he was, always needed to make sure.

“Please, Sid,” you begged, wanting his cock inside you. “I need you.”

Again, that cocky little smirk, the one that you’d fallen in love with, came out, before he thrust deep inside you. “You feel so fucking good.” He pushed your knees back, before leveraging himself over you, then began pumping in and out of your pussy. His lips found yours, devouring you as he stroked his cock in and out of you. For as long as you’d known him, and it had been a few hundred of those thousand games, this would never get old. You’d always love the feel of him thrusting deep inside you.

Sid pinned your hands on either side of your head and laced his fingers with yours. His mouth was still firmly attached to yours, as he pistoned in and out of you. You were on the edge, ready to fall over at any moment, when he finally broke the kiss, both of you panting. “I love you,” He said looking deep in your eyes, right as you fell apart. The sight and feel causing Sid to spiral down that path with you. He collapsed on top of you, after cumming deep inside you.

“I love you too,” you whispered stroking the nape of his neck, then running your fingers through his soft curls. He moved to his side taking you with him and the two of you laid there for several minutes just catching your breath. Finally, Sid got up and went to the foot of the bed. “What are you doing?”

“Eating my breakfast,” he laughed, bringing the tray back up. “I worked up an appetite.”

You grabbed the tray out of his hand as he snatched up another piece of bacon. “This is cold. I’ll go make you fresh while you shower. You’ve got practice soon.”

There was a pout on his face, one that usually appeared when there was a bad call on the ice. “You’re ruining my day with talk of that.”

“Well, how else are you going to get another thousand if you don’t get out of this bed.”

“Fine, I’m going.”

The two of you went about your day, as you would any normal game day, for although it was his thousandth game, some things you couldn’t change. “I’ll see you at the arena.” He said before kissing you goodbye. “You’ll be on time, right?”

“Of course, I will.” You’d never been late to anything of his or yours for that matter, but you knew he was fretting because there would be a special little ceremony before the game.

“I know. I’m just being paranoid, but you’re all that's here for this.” It was killing Sid that his parents couldn’t be here with Covid restrictions.

“I know, baby. I’ll be there extra early.”

“Thanks, babe. I love you.”

“Love you too.” He was out the door then and as soon as he was, you were putting your surprise for him into action. Of course, the Penguins had things planned out for him, but you’d wanted to do something special for him as well.

You got ready and headed to the arena, making sure you were there thirty minutes before the time Sid had asked you to be, along with your surprise. While this wasn’t the way you wanted to commemorate your husband’s milestone, both you and he would’ve preferred to do it in front of the home crowd in Pittsburgh, you were still happy that the team and NHL were recognizing his accomplishment.

Right before the National anthem, they brought out the carpet where you would meet Sid. You stood there, waiting as you heard the announcer start the speech. Sid looked over making sure you were there and you blew him a kiss, while he gave you a little smirk and wink back. He then turned his attention to the scoreboard to watch the montage and well wishes from everyone. You had tears in your eyes as you watched all his accomplishments. The video came to an end to the sound of piped-in applause and stick taps from both teams.

“Please welcome Sidney’s family,” you heard the announcer say before the door opened. Sid looked over as you walked out, his parents and sister trailing behind you. He was stunned that they were there. Why you weren’t sure, because they would never miss something this special in his life, but you’d definitely been able to pull off this little surprise. He pinched the bridge of his nose to stop the tears that threatened to fall, while yours were already tumbling down.

He stopped at your first, kissing you through your mask. “How did you?”

“I’ll tell you later. I love you, baby. Congratulations.” He moved on hugging and kissing the cheeks of all his family members, while a couple of the guys brought out flowers for you, Trina and Taylor. Geno and Tanger brought out his sliver stick, while Rusty handed out the special plaque that was made. It was over within minutes but the reaction from Sid would last a lifetime in your mind.

At the end of the night, everyone celebrated his accomplishment with champagne at the arena. His parents told him that it had been all your doing to get them here, making sure that they had covid tests and getting them a hotel to stay at for the surprise. They would be staying on a few days longer, but at your home with the two of you.

“I don’t know how to thank you, babe. This means so much.”

“I still have a couple surprises left.” You pulled out one of the boxes you had hidden for him.

He opened the gift, a specially made Rolex watch commemorating his accomplishment. “Wow, this is incredible.”

“Just like you,” you told him before handing him the other.

“Sweetie this is way too much. You didn’t need to do all this.”

“Shush,” you told. “You deserve it, though this one has a no return policy on it so I hope you like it.”

His curiosity was piqued at that and he tore away the paper quickly. Lifting the lid, he gasped, smiling brightly at what he saw inside. “Really?” You simply smiled and nodded back.

“What is it, son?” Troy asked though everyone in the room's attention was now on Sidney.

“We’re having a baby,” Sid announced, before closing the lid and lifting you off the ground. He kissed you as champagne and cheers went up all around you. Sid set you down on your feet, after a few minutes, a worried look crossing his face. “Was that ok? Maybe I shouldn’t have told everyone.”

“It’s perfectly fine. I hope you don’t mind me telling you this way.”

“Mind? Babe this is perfect. You made this day one I’ll never forget.” His hands were roaming over your belly, where the baby grew even though you hadn’t started to show at all.

“I think you did that all on your own.”

“Nah, it’s taken everyone here to get me this far in my career, and it’s taken you to get me something I’ve always dreamed of.” Pregnancy hormones were getting the best of you as happy tears started to pool in your eyes. “Just think, if I make it to fifteen-hundred games, our little one will be out there with you.”

“You’ll make it to that and I have a feeling it’ll be more than one little one out there, Mr. Crosby.”

“God, I hope so. I love you, Mrs. Crosby.”

“Love you too, Sid.”

[fandom-blackhole]

10 x paz 0_o

Nymph!Reader x Paz? Anything for you sweet anon!

gif by 7gates

666 Followers Milestone

Paz was tired. His hunt had been long, but overall successful, thankfully. The covert needed anything and everything they could get. With Din being gone, and much of their people wiped out in the battle in Nevarro, Paz was one of the best hunters they had left, which meant he had been pulled away from his duties and thrust back into hunting. He had tried arguing, not wanting to leave the newly relocated covert defenseless, but he knew that he couldn't argue too much because his skills were just as needed for gathering money and supplies to replenish the tribe. So he did as he was tasked, and his aid had helped the covert slowly start to rebuild.

But Paz was tired, he had been working non-stop unable to rest, too worried about providing for the others, than to take a second and provide for himself. So, after his recent hunt, he found himself trekking through dense woods towards the sounds of running water in the dead if night. All he wanted was a single second alone, in a fresh pool of water to relax and rid himself of the sweat and grime that covered him almost head to toe, because of his difficult bounty, but he was starting to wonder if getting to the spring would be worth it. He had been walking for a good thirty minutes, and still hadn't come upon the spring or rushing waterfall that he could hear. Frustrated he continued to climb through the low brush and large roots.

Finally, he saw the moonlight reflecting off clear blue water in front of him and he sighed in relief, slowly working on his bracers as he approached the water. Only, just at the tree line Paz paused and whipped his head up in surprise after hearing a soft humming sound.

Sitting at the edge of the water was a beautiful being. Their skin shimmering from the reflection of the water, highlighting their beauty in a way that had Paz’s heart to stutter. He watched them for entirely too long before he broke out of his trance, and turned to leave, not wanting to disturb the person nor able to bath fully with another present.

Then he heard your soft voice float across the open bank to where he stood, "You don't need to leave, mandalorian. You are more than welcome to bath in my pool. I will even cover my eyes if that so pleases you."

When Paz turns around, he finds your head turned over your bare shoulder to look at him dead in the eyes, causing Paz to shiver and swallow thickly.

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"Hmm, I guess thats for you to decide, mandalorian. Though I can say I am very trustable, and I don't let just anyone bath here in my home."

Paz watched as you turned you body halfway, so you could watch him fully. Now turned, Paz could see you were completely bare, your breasts completely withing his eyesight and your delicious thighs dripping with water from where you had lifted them from the water. Paz cursed inside his head as he felt his cock starting to stir under his codpiece, thanking the maker the armor was there to hide his reaction. He had not had time nor real need to touch himself or another in a long time, but now, as you sat perfectly naked, and inviting him to bath with you, he felt the effects of being so pent up.

Slowly, he watched as you stood and slowly slinked up to him, trying to look anywhere but at your very naked and very enticing form. When you reached him, you started slowly stripping him of his armor. Starting by pealing off his bracers and slowly moving up his arms. Paz didn't move, just stood that and watched as your fingers worked the armor off of him like you had done this a thousand times before. Your fingers were skillful, and watching them made his cock twitch as his thoughts ran south, imagining how they'd feel wrapped around him.

As you reached for his codpiece, his chest and arm armor stripped and set aside carefully, Paz reached forward and stopped your hands whispering, "Wait... who are you, besides a sweet temptress?"

You giggled, and Paz thought his heart was going to explode from warmth that flooded his chest at the sound. Smiling up at his helmet, and making eye contact once again you said, "People call me and my siblings Nymphs, we are beings attached to landmarks. People say we are seductive beings, but I have never agreed. No man or woman has ever become obsessed with me like others have for more beautiful beings."

"I find that very hard to believe, mesh'la. You are the prettiest thing my old eyes have ever seen."

You reached out and ran your fingers along his still clothed chest, teasing the edge of his cod piece again, tracing the lip of his helmet with your lips, "I find that very hard to believe, mandalorian, but I thank you for the confidence boost."

Paz groaned, and reached out, grabbing your upper arms, stopping you once more.

"Mesh'la, please, if you continue this i will not be able to stop myself. I have not laid with someone in many cycles and you are riling me up to the point of no return."

Paz watched as your lips curled into a smirk and you, pleased, said, "You promise, mandalorian?"

Paz groaned lowly, and picked you up in one fell swoop, slamming your back against the rough bark of the nearest tree. Your moan was the sweetest music to his ears as he ripped off his codpiece, pulling down his pants so that his aching cock sprung free, it immediately pressing against your wet entrance. You were so soft, and warm, and intoxicating and Paz couldn't pull away. He pressed his forehead into your shoulder, asking softly if you were ready, if he could sink inside of you. It only took half a nod from you, before he was pressing into your tight, squeezing walls with a groan.

Paz took his time sinking all the way in, knowing once he bottomed out he was going to fuck into you like it was the last time he'd ever be able to feel someone like this.

When he was finally seated inside of you, listening to your mewls, he stayed unmoving for a second, taking in the euphoria of your walls, before rapidly starting a rough pace that had you clawing at his shoulders and shouting. Paz soaked up all of your noises, wishing more than anything to be able to pull your soft looking lips into a consuming kiss. Paz had you bounce on his cock, not taking his time or trying to drag out his pleasure, only seeking relief in your perfect cunt.

With his pace, it took very little time for either of you to feel your highs approaching. Paz reached down growling over and over in your ear as he roughly said, "Cum for me, Nymph."

Then you were exploding on his cock, throwing your head back screaming in pleasure as Paz erratically chased his own high. He took only minutes, before he was burying himself completely inside of you and spraying everything he had inside of you, his vision going black from how food it felt.

When he opened his eyes though, Paz found himself, fully armored and slumped over his control panel in the cockpit of his ship. Cursing, Paz looked around, already assuming everything had been a dream, that he needed rest more than he had thought. But then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a soft blue bloom that had been growing on the side of the spring. He didn't know how, but he knew then, with a soft smile, that everything had been real, and he wanted to see you again.

Permanent Tags: @mysticalgalaxysalad @phoenixhalliwell @moodsare @perpetual-fangirl900

666 Follower Milestone

Paz Tags: @bunny-fair @elinedjarin @shellyc9

Join the Taglist

[authorsamvanalstyne-blog]

Chapter 1

Where I grew up and the circumstances that lead to my birth are, on paper as American as apple pie. The sleepy small town I called home for the first twenty years of my life could almost be ripped from the canvas of a Norman Rockwell painting. Chatham, New York, situated roughly 125 miles north of Manhattan is the definition of small-town America. Chatham has a whopping single stoplight, a handful of banks and churches, a school district with teachers that can have easily educated two or three generations in the same family before their retirement and a population just shy of 1,500. My parents were high school sweethearts, as is pretty common in our little corner of the world

Once, I asked my dad how he first approached my mom who was fifteen to his eighteen at the time. He told me the story of the day he offered her a ride home from school. It’s a small town so everyone kind of knew everyone else, plus their families were acquainted. Before my grandfathers were my grandfathers they were drinking buddies. All that being said, my dad offering my mom a ride home wasn’t weird. I’m told she accepted his offer but sat basically as far away from him as you can get in the passenger side of a car. According to my dad’s memory mom basically sat against the passenger side door – and didn’t like him initially. His persistence must’ve paid off, or irritated my mom enough to go out with him – however this was the eighties in small town America and my mom told me once that her friends suggested she break up with my dad, because he’s half black and my mom is white. Luckily, she didn’t listen.

I’ve seen countless mementos of the early years of my parent’s relationship – pictures with messages scrawled on the back that were kept in wallets, a sketchbook of my dad’s with “JR ’s Tammy” written on the front. All of which paint an almost idyllic picture of their relationship with each other before marriage and kids. Then my dad told me the story of their first Christmas together – they were having an argument and as my dad was walking up the stairs in their apartment, my mom hurled a ceramic Christmas tree shaped decoration at my dad’s head. It hit the wall behind him and broke clean in half. That was over thirty years ago and it still gets put out at Christmas time, still broken.

Despite her throwing things at his head my dad eventually asked my mom to marry him. I’ve heard her engagement ring cost him a mere $200. At this point, my parents had been together between five and six years. On July 1st 1989 they married in a church in my hometown in front of friends and family. I’m not actually sure how all their guests fit inside the church assuming everyone went to the ceremony; my dad has nine siblings and countless extended family. There’s a video of their wedding reception, and in my family’s typical fashion it looked like quite the party.

In the summer of 1992, my parents welcomed my best friend – my older brother. Based on pictures I’ve seen my brother seemed to be an easy child. Which is good, they would need that prior to me. There are lots of pictures in strawberry fields. at SeaWorld and involving orange trees, presumably from vacations to my maternal grandparents’ winter house in Florida. When my brother was a toddler my mom claims that he would point at the chandelier in the dining room of their apartment and say “Samantha” over and over. Regardless of the validity of that story, the name must’ve stuck.

I was born in October of 1995. When I picture the day of my birth I picture something worthy of a Grey’s Anatomy episode. It probably wasn’t that dramatic but in my imagination it’s a fitting scenario. I’ve seen pictures of my mother a few months prior to my birth and if I didn’t know that fetus me was present I wouldn’t even assume my mom was pregnant. She was as flat as a washboard, no baby bump at all. And barely any body fat in sight. I’ve never asked how exactly my mom knew something was wrong or that she was in labor. According to my dad’s memory he wasn’t home when this situation began; he was out at a fire. My dad was a new firefighter around the time of my birth and had just finished tending to a fire at a local business with his company; he and the rest of his company were enjoying a meal bought by the owners of the business they’d just extinguished the fire from. One of his fellow firefighters took the phone call and relayed the message that my mom was in the hospital about to have me and my dad should get there as fast as possible. My hometown is about an hour from the hospital I was born in – from what I’ve heard dad very nearly missed my birth.

Mom was at twenty-four weeks gestation, for those not great at math that’s roughly six months. The doctors had discovered the placenta, which is supposed to provide oxygen and nutrients to a fetus was detached. Something that only happens in one out of one thousand pregnancies. This meant that I was suffocating and starving from inside the womb and had to be delivered, at that moment which would make me roughly three months premature. On October 14th 1995 at approximately 9pm I was born. My name is Samantha, and I weighed two pounds at birth I was so small I could fit in the palm of a hand.

Directly following my birth doctors weren’t sure I would actually survive since it was very rare at the time for baby’s born at twenty-four weeks to survive. However, being a fighter, I made it through.

Since I was severely premature I had to stay in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, also known as the NICU for a few months. I did make it home in time for my first Christmas though. There are pictures of me as an infant beside a teddy bear and the teddy bear is significantly bigger than I was. My clothes were either doll clothes or handmade by my paternal grandmother.

As a direct result of my lack of oxygen at birth I was slightly developmentally delayed. This was observed by my parents when I didn’t meet milestones like sitting up, or rolling over. I have an older brother so my parent’s sort of knew what to expect from an infant. That’s why when I wasn’t meeting milestones it warranted a trip to the doctor. Although I’m not exactly sure what kind of testing is involved I do know that eventually doctors were able to diagnose me with Cerebral Palsy. Cerebral Palsy also known as CP is a neurological disability caused by trauma to the brain, in my case lack of oxygen at the time of my birth. In my circumstance, as every case of CP is unique much like a snowflake, my affected areas are the parts of my brain that deal with movement. This means, I can’t walk

@dextyradams

[witchshour]

random musings - being 25

The trend among millenials, whether they were born in the final years of that generation like I was or earlier, seem to frequently joke about ‘yearning for their lost youth’. We’re a generation that thrives on nostalgia - we view our childhoods and the decades before it through an odd mixture of disenchantment and the proverbial rose-tinted glasses. Of course, this isn’t unique to us; every generation does it. But there’s something that dichotomy that is, if only because we remember childhood before the 2000s, when it was significantly harder for people of all ages to stumble upon world shattering information, and instead had to watch this version of the world we live in rapidly develop.

I digress. There are certainly over a thousand posts analysing nostalgia and I’m not intending to make another. This is more personal than that.

In June, I turned twenty-five, so this isn’t recent. In that time, I’ve noticed more and more just how many people between the ages of about twenty-one and thirty-two either A) evade ever discussing their age, B) lie about their age, C) state their age truthfully but with a definite air of embarrassment, or D) brag about how they’re always mistaken for being younger than they are. Mostly this is women - the result, of course, of social conditioning - but men do it too. For example, one friend of mine just turned twenty-seven but will routinely tell people she’s twenty-one when asked.

Without fail, each birthday since her twenty-second, she’s insisted, ‘Well, I look young enough’. And this was true, for a while, but not anymore. She looks her age. It’s not in any way a bad thing. When I first met her, she ate too little and was much too thin, which made her look childish, but she’s healthier now. That’s the difference.

But she did it again this year. For the first time, I realised how utterly ridiculous it sounded. She was miserable at twenty-one. She wasn’t sure what to do next in her life. I was the same way. So was my boyfriend, who was awkward when his birthday came around as well. This year, when he turned twenty-six, he argued, ‘There’s no more life milestones or anything. Does it matter’? It did, if only because it was the first culturally designated ‘special day’ we spent together. 

So now I have joined my friends in edging out of my late twenties. As someone who is routinely mistaken for being younger than I am, however, I find the preoccupation with youth, with the yearning to either remain in stasis or turn back the clock, exhausting. ‘Does it matter’? I asked my friend on her birthday. ‘Do you really still want to be twenty-one? You were an idiot at twenty-one. I definitely was’.

Honestly, we were miserable idiots just two years ago. What’s the point, I keep wondering, in that desire to go back?

In the last four years, I finished a BA, an MA, and began a PhD program. I’ve lived in three states and four separate countries. I’m crippled with student loans and work myself to death, but still managed to travel on the cheap to eighteen countries, all for a week or more at a time. I’m now a published author, both of poetry and short fiction. I finished a novel I hope to publish. Each time I moved, I had to struggle with new psychiatrists to stay on my medication. I damaged my spine. At least part of the reason I decided to do postgrad in Europe and the UK is because I can’t afford not to die of mental or physical health issues in the States. I’ve broken hearts and had mine broken. Somehow, I still pulled off hiking the Haines Pass, the Scottish Highlands, Snowdonia, and the Ramapo and Tatra Mountains all in the same year. I deactivated all my social media accounts but tumblr and Pinterest to reduce my everyday stress level.

I learned how to ride a bike.

I’m twenty-five. The world is imploding. I’m a broke PhD student who struggles to afford rent and groceries. But fuck it, even when I’m miserable, I’m stable enough that my misery won’t swallow me whole.

There’s no point in wishing I was younger, but doing so is both the social norm and, I think, romanticised. Maybe this is true and maybe it’s not, but if our generation found a way to untangle ourselves from our cultural fear of aging, it might be easier to settle ourselves in the present, opening new angles in which we can view individual or collective futures and problem-solve in daily life.

[itsredcoatbitches]

Fifth Harmony

It was the sixth anniversary of Fifth Harmony and what better way of celebrating another milestone in their careers than by singing in front of thousands of people. It wasn’t just any other concert. It was in Madison Square Garden, New York no less. This was their biggest concert by far. Lauren Jauregui, Dinah Jane, Normani Kordei, and Ally Brooke sang and danced to their songs from Reflection, 727, and their self-titled album Fifth Harmony.

 My innocence is wearing thin

But my heart is growing strong

So call me, call me, call me

Miss movin' on, oh-oh-oh (ohhhhh)

Miss movin' on, oh-oh-oh (on and on and on and on and on)

Miss movin' on, oh-oh-oh (on and on and on and on, on and on and on and on)

Miss movin' on, oh-oh-oh (hey... yeah yeah)

Yeah, I'm movin' on

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWrMoqqAUwg)

 “Madison square garden thank you so much for having us tonight!” Dinah speaks loudly through her microphone. The crowd goes wild as the four girls move closer towards the centre.

“Tonight is a special night for all of us as you know. Six years of Fifth Harmony and we couldn’t have a better celebration tonight. We started off six years ago with thirty to forty people coming to our mall tours now we have 85,000. This is unbelievable” Normani says with extreme awe at the crowd in front of them. Indeed, through that six years, their fan base has grown bigger.

Ally took her turn to speak. “We'd like to share this special moment with you as we all look back to our journey. So, join us as we view this short video of Fifth Harmony through the years”

All four of them turn around to look at the screen in front. A montage starts playing. None of the girls has seen this video. They knew something would be playing but the management never told them what it would be. A surprise for them as well in some sense. (video would be something like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W32qiV5rSz8 credits to owner)

As much as they try not to be emotional, they can’t help themselves from tearing up. One drop follows another. The crowd too had tears in their eyes, witnessing the transformation of young dreamers into the pop stars that they are now. Before anyone realises it, Camila appears on screen and cheers can be heard all over the place. Even the girls were quite taken aback by her participation on the montage.

"Thank you so much harmonizers for supporting the group through the years. We won’t be here without you guys. Seriously, thank you so much. I’m so proud of the girls for what they've achieved, for their success, and will always be proud of them. To my girls, I will always love you. You are my sisters for life. We may have had our differences but deep in my heart I still love you so much. I will always be a part of Fifth Harmony and you will always be a part of me.” Camila ends her message by blowing a kiss to the camera. The video continues to play, recounting all the awards and achievements they received in their six years together. The last frame ends with simple words, “Thank you Fifth Harmony.”

The girls try to clean up their faces before turning around again to face their fans. Everyone claps their hands for a wonderful video that summed up the years of Fifth Harmony.

Normani is the first to speak amongst the four. “We were five normal girls trying to reach our dreams and here we are today standing proudly on this stage. If not for you, we wouldn’t be here today so, thank you so much harmonizers. I would like to thank our families too for keeping our feet to the ground and protecting us and loving us no matter what. Our dream was very small. It was just an idea of us recording our own songs and maybe one day sing it in our own concert. Then it got bigger and bigger. Our lives did change.”

“We've become who we've always wanted to be. With you and our families and our team, we've gotten something not every fifteen or sixteen-year-old could have. We started touring the world and wherever we were there were people screaming at us. We didn’t know what was happening. You guys are one of the main reasons why we’re still here tonight. My mom, my dad, my siblings, and every one of you thank you all so much. You have truly been amazing.” Lauren says through her tears, her raspy voice sounding even raspier.

“We've had our sacrifices our differences but at the end of the day, we made it through the crazy because of you. I believed in myself because you believed in me too, in us. Thank you guys so so much. My family, my relatives, every single one of you, thank you for making everything possible. You made our dreams come true over and over again. We’ve met people the people we’ve met because you lined up in our concerts, bought our albums, you did everything for us. It’s been absolutely incredible.” Dinah blows a kiss after her own words.

Ally then speaks up after the youngest amongst them was done. “The past six years would literally be nothing without you. We're so blessed to be here in front of such lovely crowd because of your support and love. Thank you, harmonizers. We appreciate what you’ve done for us and you made us realise what we’re doing was something amazing. You’ve supported each and everyone in the group through our ups and downs. Once again thank you so much. And to our families thank you for supporting us in our six years.” Cheers go louder as the tears on the girls’ faces pour down. Smiling through tears is something not easy to do.

Lauren clears her throat as she recomposes herself for her next words. “Sadly, the time has come for us to say goodbye.” Gasps from the fans can be heard all over Madison Square Garden. “Trust me we're all dreading this” she continued with her voice breaking. “Our lives have changed drastically and it’s very overwhelming. We didn’t know what was happening to us and here we are six years later saying goodbye to it all. It’s not an easy thing, I tell you” Lauren wipes her tears as Dinah comforts her with a side hug.

“This song, this next and last song is very special to each of us in Fifth Harmony. This started everything for us; our dreams, our career, everything. This means so much to us and we hope this would mean something to you too.” Normani introduced their finale song and the melody starts playing as she spoke. “May this song remind everyone of you here right now that everything is possible. That the impossible is possible if you just believe. You believed in us and we got to do everything for six years because of all you here tonight.”

“Madison Square this is ‘Impossible’ and this will be our last memory of Fifth Harmony so make it a good one!” Dinah tried to put the crowd in hype despite her own voice betraying her. Ally shouts “We love you” before they started singing.  

[Normani:]

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love

I did

[Lauren:]

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the rooftops

Write it on the skyline

All we had is gone now

[Ally:]

Tell them I was happy and my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible

[Dinah & Normani:]

Impossible

[Ally:]

Impossible

[Dinah & Normani:]

Impossible

[Ally:]

Impossible

[Dinah & Normani:]

Impossible

[Dinah]

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love

I did

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWC29SpOcBU)

 The song becomes very emotional like every word sang by them is a blade plunge to everyone’s hearts. This their last song and it was their very first song together. This is mainly the reason why all four of them decided to end their journey with the same song that fired up their dreams. It felt…home.

At the end of the song, Lauren, Ally, Normani and Dinah hugged each other just like all their other performances. They broke off their embrace and started speaking again starting with Ally.

“I’m trying my best not to cry but I’m crying.” Ally tries to joke around. “We're all crying. Lauren's crying, Dinah’s crying, Mani's crying, you guys are crying. It's really hard to hold back our tears tonight, isn’t it? It’s really true when they say ‘as one journey ends, another one begins.’ Fifth Harmony maybe closing its book but four stories will be opening after tonight. Dinah, Normani, Lauren, and I will be braving the world as solo artists but we’ll continue to support each other nevertheless. These three ladies right there are my sisters. Thank you for being my sisters. I’ve had the best time in my life more than you could ever imagine. We’ve literally had so much fun and I couldn’t imagine doing it with someone else. I love you so much ladies and I will always be here for you.” There were a lot of ‘awws’ heard in the audience with Ally’s speech.

Normani followed after with her own words of gratitude. “We started out as strangers from different states and walks of life but we're ending our story together as sisters. It's been a wild ride but no matter how fun every ride is; it just has its end. Despite that, I know I would always have these ladies with me. Lauren, Dinah, and Ally, you are the sisters God forgot to give me. Your parents are my parents and my parents are yours. My three best friends in the whole world, thank you so much for our time together. No matter what, regardless of any circumstance you are always in my heart. I am and will always be proud of you. I love you”

Seeing as though they were speaking by age, Lauren took the chance to speak after Normani. “To my sisters Normani, Dinah Jane, and Ally, I love you so much I hope you know that. DJ I’ll miss your annoying arse pranking us 24/7, and Mani I’ll miss your chicken wings cravings, and Allyson Brooke, the sunshine of the group, I will definitely miss your cooking. We’ve spent our teenage years together and you’ve been my pillar through everything that was thrown my way. You’ve accepted me for who I am when I was confused and scared and trying to figure out myself. I just want to give a massive shout out to the three of you. You all are such amazing ladies. I love you so much.” Lauren was beaming with pride for her sweet speech. It’s true that the girls have been there for her no matter what and thanking them through those short sentences was not enough but it would have to do for now. “Also to Camila, Camila who’s not here with us tonight, thank you very much Camz for all the love and all the time you gave us when you were still in the band. We love you very much.” Of course the fans especially those who have been rooting for any interaction between Lauren and Camila have their spirits on cloud nine for Lauren’s unexpected message to Camila. Dinah Jane smiled to herself thankful that Lauren had done that. In the end, Dinah never stopped being Camila’s friend.

“Alright. Alright, my turn I guess. What's up Madison Square? Six years with these girls were crazy. Imagine living with four hormonal teenage girls. I have a bunch of siblings and when I got into Fifth Harmony I gained four more. These three girls, Ally, Mani and Lauren will always be the big sisters that I will look up to for the rest of my life. I can do stupid things and I know they won’t judge me. We may be halfway across world away from each other, I know they’d be wherever I was if I needed them to. I love you girls so much. Imagine all the aeroplane rides and the buses we’ve been on. You’ve given me millions of memories I will keep forever. I love Y'all.” The four of them gather again for one more hug. Dinah broke away however so she could shout something one last time. “Me and my girls will always conquer the impossible!”

The crowd claps their hands for a very touching night. It’s been surreal to witness a very wonderful performance that turned out to be a finale performance then witness again the goodbyes of the four girls.

“There’s also one more person who also would like to join you ladies there on stage if you’d like me to.” The girls are startled with the footage that played behind them. They are very familiar with that view. It was the passage from the backstage towards the front stage and the person in the view is no other than their former member, Camila Cabello. The fans go wild again upon seeing Camila joining the rest of the girls in her old costume.

“I’ve spent four and a half years with you ladies and I just couldn’t miss paying my tribute to this band that I once called family. Like I said we’ve had our differences and troubles but we’re all past that now. I wanted to take this chance, we all wanted to take this chance to give you this proper goodbye that you all deserved. No more letters. Here I am joining my sisters in this stage for this final moment. And I also would like to use this time to give a special shoutout to the four of you. People always ask, ‘what’s your favourite memory of Fifth Harmony’ and I guess this one of those favourites. I will never forget this night just like all those times we’ve had together. Dinah, Ally, Normani, and Lolo, I love you girls so much. Thank you for everything” The girls welcomed Camila to their embrace after her heart-warming speech. They may have had some trials and tribulations before but none of those matters anymore tonight.

“After 6 years of being together, we are doing this one last time,” Dinah announces to the crowd as she smiles to her girls.

“Hi, I’m Dinah Jane,”

“Hey, it’s Normani Kordei,”

“Hi, I’m Lauren,”

“Hey, I’m Ally,”

“Hi I’m Camilla”

They all took hold of each other’s hands, interlocking them together. Normani on the farthest right with Ally on her side. Beside Ally is Dinah who has Lauren in between her and Camila. For the last time, they spoke the words they’ve mastered by heart.

“and we’re Fifth Harmony!”

They raised their interlocked hands up in the air before taking their final bow. The confetti dropped on cue while the girls continued to bow in every side of the Madison Square Garden. “Once again thank you Madison Square Garden and the rest of our Harmonizers all over the world. Goodnight everyone and goodbye!”

Six years together, five sisters brought by fate, four promotional singles, three albums released, two record labels, and one story that ended in harmony. They are and will always be Fifth Harmony.

[avaalons]

Chris' Disney Princess Part 8 (The First Date)

So, here we are! Approximately three thousand years after the last update of the Disney Princess series, here’s part 8. All previous parts are linked in my masterlist, linked in my bio, if you need to catch up or want a refresher.

***

‘Uhhh Chris, where are we?’ Confusion threaded through your voice as Chris pulled his car into park on a gravel driveway.

This didn’t look like any restaurant you’d ever seen. In fact, you were 99.9% sure this was his house. He’d picked you up from home about half an hour ago and had been extremely secretive about where you were going.

‘Look, I know what you what said about letting people say what they say but I’ve been thinking about it, and that’s just not me. The position I put you in at Disney… I just got so swept up in being there, with you, and I don’t ever want to be the cause of something like that again. So, I figure there’ll be plenty of time for getting out and about in public, but I think we’ve reached plenty of milestones already and I just want to spend an evening alone, with you, just being ourselves and not looking over our shoulders. Let’s do this right,’ he’d looked at you steadily from the driver’s seat and you knew he was right.

You’d done a lot of proving yourself and making a point over the last couple of days and it needed to stop somewhere. If you wanted to make a real go of this, it had to just be about the two of you and not about metaphorically flipping the bird to the media.

The only issue causing a little butterfly in your belly was that this was his house. He was letting you into his fortress, his haven, and this was a much more intimate setting than anything you could have imagined. Were you ready for that? All the bravado you’d had on Thursday seemed to have left you high and dry and the nerves and insecurities were back.

But you straightened your back and nodded, reminding yourself that Chris had been so careful with you up to now, like you were made from glass, and the likelihood of him trying to push you further than you were ready for, emotionally or physically, was extremely low, like zero.

A brief flicker of relief crossed his features and he tilted his head towards the house, ‘Shall we go in?’

'Yeah. Yes. Let’s go.’

You let yourself out of the car on unsteady legs, trying to breathe yourself to a calm state, and he was by your side, pushing the passenger door shut and taking your hand in his, leading the way across the drive and manoeuvring his keys in his other to, you assumed, get hold of his front door key.

You’d noticed when you opened your front door to him earlier that he’d been dressed very handsomely indeed, and now you realised just how cute that was: he’d dressed to the nines in a sharp suit for you, even though he’d known all along he’d be eating in his own house.

'Brace yourself,’ he warned jokingly as his turned the key, 'Dodger will be excited to see you.’

He couldn’t have been more correct. Ten minutes after you stepped over the threshold, your faithful little black dress was covered in Dodger hair, but you didn’t care. You laughed at his enthusiastic greeting, crouching down on your heels to let him jump at you, nudging his wet nose against your face. Chris apologised and pulled him off but you assured him you didn’t mind.

In fact, you felt completely the opposite. Dodger’s presence alone reminded you that this was just Chris and you were just you. Just two normal people who happened to live in extraordinary circumstances, but those circumstances weren’t your whole existence. You could be yourself with Chris, you didn’t need to be perfect, and that helped ease your anxiety massively.

Chris distracted Dodger with a ball and when you stood back up, you were so very close, only millimetres between you and the last of your nervous energy dissolved into something much more warm, spreading through you, the anticipation.

'Hi,’ he said with an easy grin.

'Hi,’ you whispered, looking up into his face.

'You really don’t mind that we’re here?’ He asked again, his own insecurity taking over.

'I think you know me better than I know myself. We can relax now. Do this properly,’ you told him, repeating his sentiments from earlier.

'Okay,’ he nodded, 'Do you want the grand tour?’

You nodded, slipping your hand easily into his, 'Lead the way.’

His home was lovely. Very modern and clean, dark and light contrasting everywhere and barely any clutter on surfaces, but he had framed photographs hung on every wall. Family and friends, you guessed, and multiple dogs. An entire history there in photograph form as he lead you through rooms and down hallways. The main living quarters were all on one floor and he had a basement with a gym and what he called the den - the man cave, basically. You blushed a little when he pointed out the bedrooms and he grinned, clearly trying to keep his suggestive comments to himself. He just chuckled instead, turning you around by the shoulders to direct you back the way you had come.

'Come on, let’s get your mind out the gutter and find something to eat,’ he told you.

***

A couple of hours later, you were curled up against the plush cushions of Chris’ garden furniture on the decked veranda that ran the length of the back of his house. There were softly glowing light bulbs threaded along the rafters of the veranda roof, candles of varying sizes flickered and large leafed potted plants dotted around made the large, open space seem warm and cosy. The night was balmy and your heels had been lost a long time ago as you sat with your legs tucked under you, facing Chris on the other side of sofa, both nursing a bottle of beer, having finished a bottle of chilled white wine with dinner, and you remembered the night at Disney where you’d realised just how much you didn’t want your time with him to come to an end.

You’d been impressed by his abilities in the kitchen, judging from the light and flavoursome chicken dish he placed in front of you at his dining table, until he’d let slip that his mom was in town for the weekend and had helped him get everything ready before going to stay with his brother, Scott, on the other side of town.

His explanation had caught you off guard. Firstly, because he and his mom had cut their precious time together short for you. Secondly, that Lisa had spent her afternoon helping her son prepare for a date with you. Thirdly, that Chris must have talked to her about you.

Multitudinous questions had whirled through your mind, but all that came out of your mouth when you spoke was, 'She didn’t mind?’

You didn’t know whether you were asking about Lisa being banished to Scott’s, spending her whole afternoon cooking food she wouldn’t eat, Chris spending his evening with you or all three but he just looked at you like you had three heads.

'You kidding me?’ he asked in disbelief, 'She’s thrilled. Like, it’s embarrassing.’

That was… pretty heartwarming actually. You’d enjoyed spending time with Lisa during your week at Disney, and knowing she wasn’t opposed to the idea of you and her son together was reassuring.

You felt like you hadn’t stopped talking all night, you discussed everything, some of it light and easy, other parts deeper and more challenging, but all of it was personal. The night was getting later, you were warm and a little buzzed and your gaze kept drifting to his mouth as he talked. He hadn’t kissed you so far tonight, save for a chaste kiss on the cheek when he greeted you at your door earlier and your mind wandered to the knee shaking make out session you had shared when you finally decided that you wanted him, regardless of any of the issues surrounding your fame.

That was a kiss full of longing, a powerful release at the end of a long, long build up. But now you were relaxed, calm, and you wanted slow, lazy, passion. It must have been thirty seconds or more since Chris had stopped talking and you’d just been staring at his mouth. When you flicked your gaze up to his eyes, he was looking at you in question. You leaned forward to place your beer bottle delicately on the wooden table and when you made to move back, he caught your arm in his gentle grip, keeping you close to him. His fingers on his other hand threaded into the hair at the nape of your neck, his palm cupping the hinge of your jaw.

You were close enough to see the flecks of darker royal blue in his eyes, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from him. He paused for a moment, drinking you in, leaving you an out if you wanted it, but when he was sure that he was following your cues correctly, he leaned forward, experimentally pressing his lips to yours, keeping your gaze, waiting for your reaction. It started with a simple kiss, testing the waters, and then he went back in with more vigour. Your eyelids fluttered closed as you gave in to the feeling of him running the tip of his tongue carefully over your bottom lip. He was in control this time, and you revelled in it. He changed pressure, angle, whenever he felt like it, keeping you on your toes, and the hand that had been on your arm now smoothed over your throat and collar bone, danced over the ridges of your ribs, drew lazy curls on your hip through the material of your dress.

'Chris…’ you whispered his name almost involuntarily when he broke away, punctuating with a single final kiss against your jaw.

'Breathe sweetheart,’ his voice was a caress against your skin, pressing delicate kisses to your neck and under your ear lobe. Your fingers dug into his shoulders as you leant into his kisses and you weren’t sure if it was you leaning back or him guiding you, but you were suddenly under him on the sofa, Chris still planting kisses against your throat as you threaded your fingers into his hair.

One hand wandered from your hip down your thigh as his mouth made his way back to yours and he rolled slightly to one side, hooking his fingers under one knee and pulling your leg over his thigh. He used his new point of access to let his fingers drift up the back of your leg and over the smooth roundness of your ass, under your dress but over the lacy underwear you’d chosen.

You carried on kissing him, keeping his head close to yours, trying to ignore that niggling feeling that was telling you this was too fast. This dress in a restaurant for dinner and a drive home would have been absolutely fine, but in this far more intimate setting the cami shoulder straps, relaxed, floaty fit skimming over your body and light, silky material were doing nothing to provide a barrier between you. You may as well have been wearing lingerie and nothing else.

But you also didn’t want him to stop. The feeling of his hands on your body was warming you through and his touch was so gentle, so undemanding. You could feel the material of his wool suit trousers against the inside of your thigh where he’d hooked it over him and his mouth was slow and unhurried on yours. He was being deliberately careful, you realised, and if you asked him to stop he would.

You pulled your mouth away minutely, just enough to allow you to speak.

'Chris,’ you addressed with a knowing smile, 'I know where this scene ends.’

His brows knitted in confusion, obviously trying to get his brain to catch up after a mammoth make out session, 'What do you mean?’

'The dinner at home, the wine, the soft music, the candles, the deep conversation… if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.’

A slow smile spread across his mouth and he brought a hand to your head to tuck your hair behind your face, eyes roaming your face for any hint of discomfort.

'Would it be so bad if I were?’ He asked softly, searching for your feelings.

You hesitated and almost started five different sentences before Chris jumped in.

'Seduction isn’t about getting you into my bed, or even about getting you naked. I’m trying to seduce you into wanting to be with me. I figure this is my audition,’ he admitted with a shrug. You could see every one of his long, thick eyelashes.

Oh.

'You’re doing a great job,’ you whispered. You were sure he could feel your heart hammering against your chest, the way you were pressed together.

'Yeah?’ he asked, only a hint of smug triumph in his voice before lowering it to little more than a hush, 'Why don’t you stay the night with me?’

You tensed immediately but you didn’t even get chance to reply.

'Not like that,’ he explained, 'I just… it’s getting late but I’m so not ready to say goodbye yet. You can take the guest room if you like.’

'Just like at Disney,’ you stated rather than asked.

'Exactly.’

You laid a palm against his cheek and he turned his head slightly to kiss it.

'Thank you,’ you said seriously.

'For what?’

'For always knowing exactly what I need.’

***

Hours later, it was the middle of the night and you were feeling really stupid. You were staring into the dark of Chris’ guest bedroom, wearing one of his tees as a nightshirt and having brushed your teeth with spare one from the last time Chris opened a pack.

You had been right earlier, it was exactly like Disney. Except that now, everything had changed. You weren’t trying to stamp down your feelings anymore, you weren’t trying to be just friends. What were you even doing in here?

You threw the sheets back in irritation and stood up, padding out into the hall and softly pushing down the handle of Chris’ door. You could see him in the shaft of light from the hallway and his eyes opened to look at you. He simply threw back his sheet in invitation and you squeezed through the gap in the door, closed it behind you and crossed the room to climb into his waiting arms.

'I felt dumb,’ you explained as he wrapped his arms around your middle, pulling you into his body.

'You shouldn’t feel dumb about anything you’ve decided is right for you,’ he told you, his voice gravelly from his dozing. You tucked your head under his chin and he planted kisses against your hair.

'Sleeping alone in your guest room when I could be here with you is definitely not right for me.’

'I agree wholeheartedly. Now, I’ve let you in but don’t try getting fresh with me. I have my virtue to think about,’ Chris joked, sarcastic humour laced through every word.

You laughed into his chest, 'I’ll try and keep my hands to myself.’

***

When your eyes fluttered open the next morning, you were facing away from Chris, but you could feel him, warm against your back, spooning you with his arm slung over your hip.

You were content, that much you knew. Considering how late you’d actually first attempted to go to sleep, once you had curled up next to Chris, you found yourself drifting off very easily and now you felt extremely well rested.

You tried to turn over without waking him but he shifted a little as you rolled and readjusted his arm around you, tightening and pulling you closer, mumbling a little and sighing as he dozed. You smiled to yourself, raising a gentle hand to his face, using this time for your own personal exploration, tracing a thumb across his cheek, across his brow bone, following the line where his beard faded into skin. You leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips, air-soft, but were surprised when his hands at your back suddenly applied pressure against you and his lips pressed back against yours. He’d been awake the whole time, of course.

'Enjoying yourself there?’ he grinned against your mouth.

'Very much so. Just taking stock.’

'Is that so? And does what you see meet your satisfaction?’

'Hmm… could be worse, I suppose,’ you grinned back.

Chris didn’t say anything, just raised an eyebrow and began digging his fingers into your sides. You squirmed and flailed under his touch, smacking your hand against his arm and begging him to stop. You tried to roll away but he went with you until you were under him and you had no escape. He eventually showed you mercy and stopped, bringing his hands up to smooth the ruffled strands of your hair from your face.

'I’d wondered if you were ticklish. I guess I know now.’

'Yeah, just a little,’ you panted, trying to catch your breath after the attack.

'There’s so much more I need to know.’

'Well, we have time,’ your hands absentmindedly traced the skin across his lower back, just above his soft jersey shorts.

'Yep,’ he popped the 'p’ excitedly, 'Tons of it.’

You were both quiet for a moment, just looking at each other, enjoying the moment, knowing there was a future of possibility ahead of you.

But then your stomach grumbled under Chris’ weight and you raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

'Think we could manage breakfast between us or do we have to get your mom around?’

He rose up on his knees, straddling your legs and hauling you up to sitting with him.

'I can probably rustle something up for us. But first, I just want to do this…’

He brought his hands up to cup your face between them, and leaned in, pressing a slow, sensual kiss to your mouth, claiming you, making you erase anyone else that might have ever kissed you from your memory. A moan reverberated through your chest as he held you fast and just as quickly as he’d been there, he was gone, pulling back and leaving you hanging, lips throbbing and parted and eyes closed.

'You can open your eyes now, sweetheart,’ he spoke lowly and you could hear the amusement in his voice.

He was already climbing off you and the bed when you opened your eyes, and he held his hand out.

'Ready?’ He asked.

You were dumbfounded, 'W-what?’

'Breakfast? You were hungry a second ago,’ he was too smug for his own good.

'Oh… yeah,’ your brain caught up, 'Let’s go see what an excellent selection of kids’ breakfast cereals you have.’

[themusicenthusiast]

Wednesday, March 8th, 2017 – Let It Be Brings the Generations Together with a Stunning Look Back at The Beatles Milestone Moments

There are cover bands and there are tribute acts, the difference between the two being that the former will play a wide array of music while the latter strives to mimic one certain band. However, on occasion, a group exists that makes such classification seem trivial and antiquated, as they exceed expectations and push the boundaries, blurring the lines between the perceptions that surround tribute bands and the reality of what they’re capable of achieving given the right mix of talent and execution of their performance. That became readily apparent this night in Dallas at the Music Hall at Fair Park as the curtain opened on Let It Be for the second night of a total of sixteen shows they’ll be doing at the venue over the course of twelve days. People came to the Music Hall in droves on this Wednesday night to see what they would soon be hailing as one of the greatest Beatles tribute bands ever. It was a diverse crowd, the bulk of the patrons being children of the fifties and sixties who had witnessed all The Beatles milestone moments first hand, no doubt hoping for some nostalgia. However, plenty of twenty and thirty-somethings packed in as well (along with a few kids in tow with their parents), all curious about getting some sort of experience that may have been comparable to the real thing. It sure felt as if everyone had been transported back in time thanks in part to two large screens placed on either side of the stage. The appearance made them look as if they were TV sets of sixties, two simple knobs being the only controls on them. For the time being they showed various commercials from that period, which was quite entertaining in itself. Then, as 7:35 rolled around and the lights dimmed, the trip back in time was completed, stopping in February of 1964, to a time when Americans where cheering a British invasion. The Music Hall was seemingly converted into a certain theatre in New York, the voice of Ed Sullivan welcoming out four young men from Liverpool, England who were making their television debut in America.

That was the brilliance of the next 64-minutes, as Let It Be traversed a brief sampling of highlights that The Beatles experienced over the course of the next several years, beginning with that landmark late night talk show appearance. The stage looked the part, as did the four musicians, who were convincing enough that it only seemed right when they made remarks in the first person, as if they genuinely were John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr. They sounded like the pioneering rock band to boot as they performed a handful of cuts from that era, doing some beloved ones, like "I Want to Hold Your Hand". The British accents were even quite uncanny as they powered through the first segment, occasionally bantering with the spectators as Let It Be broke everyone in and prepared them for what was to come. Beatlemania was in full effect when the curtain opened next, hordes of screaming fans filling Shea Stadium more than a year after their performance on The Ed Sullivan Show. Archival footage depicted all of the hysteria of the day; and when next the band was seen, there was a true glimmer of wonder and amazement in their eye, as if they actually were performing in front of a sea of thousands and thousands, a bit taken aback by the turnout. The cast of Let it Be were going full throttle at that point, hits like “Help!” ensuring the audience was completely enamored with the music, and thus, when they encouraged everyone to stand and dance along (like when doing the “Twist and Shout”), the concertgoers were quite receptive to it. The young and young at heart were happy to get on their feet and sway from side to side or clap along, the four musicians taking turns in leading the motions and getting everyone participating. The collective favorite portion of the night came when Let It Be embraced the alter ego that The Beatles created in 1967, sporting those lush and vivid colored suits of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, looking identical to that album cover. With another half dozen songs, they took everyone through a “trip”, the visuals that accompanied the music being reflective of the psychedelic days, looking abstract yet playing out cohesively. The title track was one of the most rocking of the night, the cast appearing completely renewed as they tackled one of The Beatles’ best releases, hitting a few more high-energy numbers, while also putting the piano to use during “When I’m Sixty Four”, turning that beautiful number into a sing-along. Abbey Road was the final backdrop, the footage that bridged the segments together establishing that the Vietnam War was in full swing, and so, too, were the protesters, letting their governments know how strongly they disagreed with what was going on. It was a brief set that more than anything promoted peace and unity. From the Lennon lookalike (who, with every progression, was becoming the spitting image of the singer) singing “…Come together, and stop the war!” during “Come Together”, to the insightful lyrics of “The End”, they left everyone in a chipper mood from riding a glorious wave of nostalgia. But what if there had been more? What if music’s most famous quartet had officially reconciled and joined forces on stage one last time? That was what Let It Be focused on upon resuming after a brief intermission, McCartney, Harrison, and Starr doing a reunion show in 1980, doubling as a way for Lennon to ring in his fortieth year of life. With a second act that spanned another hour, that was when Let It Be transcended to something even greater than it had been, the musicians seeming to have a little more freedom as they kept things true to how The Beatles might have done it but were also able to let more of their own talents shine. It was an extraordinary glimpse of what might have been, encompassing songs from each of the members’ solo careers (“You enjoyed your ‘wings’, didn’t you?” ‘Harrison’ ribbed) and a trove of songs that audiences never got to hear live. While delving into the expansive catalog The Beatles built, Let It Be also revisited some of the earlier works and gave them a reimagined twist. (The mostly acoustic rendition of “Here Comes the Sun” was sheer divinity, and it was but one of a few stripped-down versions.) Just a couple of other highlights from act two included “My Guitar Gently Weeps” (the sizzling guitar solo was something to behold and had everyone in the room roaring); while “Back in the U.S.S.R.” was pure dynamite. Of course, they also played the title track in which the band derived their name from, and, oh, what an ethereal experience “Let it Be” provided. After the obligatory encore that any show, let alone a ‘reunion’ concert would just have to have, the cast made their way to the front of the stage, basking in the fanfare and expressing their gratitude to everybody. They had earned the standing ovation they received; Neil Candelora (Paul McCartney), JT Curtis (George Harrison), Michael Gagliano (John Lennon) and Chris McBurney (Ringo Starr) each getting a formal introduction, as did “The Fifth Beatle” Daniel A. Weiss, who had provided much of the additional instruments throughout the career spanning set. Let It Be made everyone feel as if they were reliving some of the most significant days of rock ‘n’ roll history by one of the bands whose legacy will last for many generations to come. For those who came hoping for a nostalgic experience, well, they got it in spades, the spirit of the late sixties being alive and well. Through the songs and the performance Let It Be even projected the innocence of those days, when life was a bit simpler than it is now. And for those who were born just a few decades too late to see those young men from Liverpool who became a global phenomenon, then they got the next greatest experience on this night. Authentic. If only one word could be used to summarize Let It Be than that would be it. More than merely playing the songs, they convincingly made it feel as if they were indeed the creators behind them, playing everything with conviction and passion. They captured the spirit of every mile marker of the illustrious career as they journeyed from the relatively humble beginnings to imagining what would have been a reunion concert for the ages, had it only happened. Yet on this night, it did, as they shouldered the weight so barely any imagination was required to picture John, Paul, George, and Ringo on stage for a proper farewell. They captured the essence of The Beatles, and regardless of if you’re an avid fan or just a casual listener that is familiar with a few of the hits, this is a show that will have you spellbound from start to finish. Far more than just a performance it was an experience and a definite must-see for any lover of music. Let It Be will be at the Music Hall at Fair Park through Sunday, March 19th. For a complete list of shows and info on tickets, visit HERE. Afterwards, they head over to Fort Worth and the Bass Performance Hall from March 21st through the 26th. More info on those shows can be found HERE.

[jan-ploeg-blog]

My Whales, the early years

If you’re inclined to perceive the world in terms of milestones, the rebel thought to make my own whale out of sand on the Vlieland beach would certainly be one. As well as would be the moment I felt Gudrun’s eye upon me.

But there were more processes on their way that supported my conversion to the wet world. Like my fondness of water. The lithium that was administered to me from 1975 on rendered me hopelessly thirsty. Every month I had to go to hospital to check out my health concerning my lithium intake. Then I also had to bring a 24 hour yield of my urine. For many years this would be around 13 liter a day. I’d have to pee every hour. That’s why I didn’t like to visit cities I didn’t know, because I wouldn’t have an oversight of where to go to the toilet. That became rather obsessive, like smoking a cigaret in someone else’s house without access to an ashtray.

I loved water, it would liberate my throat, be it temporarily. because it also washed out my saliva, contributing to a dry mouth. And though I was painfully aware of the fact that ‘every liter goes through peter’, I’d take in water where ever I went. I way out preferred drinking it from under a tap. First I would let the tap run for a while, to get it as cold as it would get and to flush possible lead deposits. Not every tap is the same and I’d have my favorites and would always be looking for new ones. A visit to any kind of building would not be complete without a try-out under the kitchen tap. I had favorite taps and taps that I loathed. I’ve written accounts about beloved taps, adventures with taps, weird occurrences, anything worth mentioning that would make it special. In the sink at the farmhouse I had a little bowl with a pebble in it. When I drank from the tap I would squirt some of the water in my mouth towards the bowl, trying to make the pebble jump out. ‘Always something to mess around with in my sink’ was several times the title of little stories about such actions. One of them even made it on Dutch TV. I was filmed at a wok filled with water, reflecting my face. I recited a poem:

‘I hope that, when I die, I drown,

then I’ll be drinking, drinking when I sink,

then I’ll be water from my toes until my pink,

so let me sink and sink

until I stink.’

And then I took a swig from the water and spat my reflection into smithereens.

I remember getting very angry with cineast Orlov Seunke. He had made a movie, named ’The taste of water’. When asked why he replied: ‘Because water has no taste’. I thought that utterly untrue: ‘Water tastes like yourself, unless of course you have no taste’.

Once, at a party, my good friend and colleague Onco Tatje, who hhad a few, proclaimed that I was so fine a sculptor that I would be able to sculpt water. I appreciated the sympathy but did not have a strategy at the ready. But shortly after embracing whales the answer to that occurred to me. Water could assume any shape, but what about the animals that were shaped by water, in particular whales and dolphins?

The first focus on whales went into the diversification. Though there are differences in shape of fluke between species, other variance became even more telling, like the absence of a dorsal fin with bowhead whales. Because they live in arctic waters and sometimes have to break through the ice to get air. Obviously a dorsal fin would be in the way. Also, dolphins evolved from a wolf-like creature, therefor river dolphins would have come before dolphins that ventured out to sea. And that’s why the pink amazone dolphins have the most sophisticated sonar.

Via such tasty tidbits of dolphin lore I set out to explore the realm of whale and dolphin. And then I stumbled on to something that instantly elevated them into the state of magic.

Gray’s Paradox states that when you calculate the speed that whales would be capable of swimming, based on their power, body mass and water resistance the outcome stays far behind the speed they actually attain. I thought this fascinating. Apparently there was a secret ingredient inviting to be discovered. I worded this in a poem called :

’There is a highway under water’

It translates from Dutch as follows:

When thirty tons of whale,

seeks his way through the water,

then it opens and closes around the big body.

At front he pointedly pushes apart

what behind he sweeps together.

Thus he receives what he processes

and at the end leaves in his wake

the eddies and the flurries.

Then the fluke is not just the jack of progress,

the iron that breaks the unrelenting water,

a limb that like a anvil kicks advance.

Then is the fluke a giant hand,

with a thousand fingertips on the water,

a think- and acting organ,

that touches every reach,

and makes every move

to go.

With this mystery in mind I set out my quest. My first revelation came from a biology student named Herman. He was constructing a water bicycle and showed me a lat that was rounded at the leading edge and sharp at the trailing edge. At the rear of his workshop there was a canal and he demonstrated how easy he could move it through the water. I tried it myself and was astonished by the lack of resistance. It felt as if the shape propelled itself. I realised that if I really wanted to get any kind of understanding of whales, it’d be imperative that I go into the water myself. I used to be a dedicated swimmer, but my affliction had made me to neglect it. I signed up for a diving club and marveled about my ability to exist under water. Also I bought a monofin and learned to swim all over. That wasn’t easy, the foot pockets were very tight and once I had my feet in, moving them with the resistance they encompassed was very painful. The thrust they gave me, however, was incredible. I tried to ease the pressure on my feet by putting them first in plastic bags and adding shampoo as lubricant. That helped a little, but when I enlarged the foot pockets and put on neoprene diving socks I could take on larger distances. I’d swim with my hands outstretched and flat before me. In my mind I began to mimic my progression through the water, named the different stages in the sequence and tried out different configurations. It occurred to me that if I would enlarge my flat hands this might add to my speed. I took a sheet of sturdy plastic, made two loops in it through which I could stick my arms and two holes I could put my thumbs through. I tried this out in the pool where we did the diving training and was pleasantly surprised by the thrust this gave me. But at the recovery stroke the resistance was such that it rendered the advantage back to nil. I felt I was on to something, just had to figure out how to streamline the recovery stroke. That’s where Herman’s contraption came in. I took a rectangled plank, rounded the leading edge and let it taper towards the trailing edge and tried it out. Not only did it increase my speed, I also found I could use it under water. The down stroke and up stroke were equally effective, so there was no recovery stroke. Only the tilting moments were ineffective, but they were practically negligible.

I had bought my monofin off a guy named Edwin Kanters. He was at that time Dutch champion in monofin swimming. I visited him at a training session and asked him to try out my swim plank. He did, and though he was not particularly in competition form, he easily broke his personal record. His trainer got very excited and wanted to buy the swim plank off me, but I declined. Instead I struck a deal with Erwin, I left him my plank and he was going to tell me his experience with it. In time he told me he thought it worked so well because he could push off his feet against the plank. I realised that was half the equation as it also worked the other way around, I also pushed of my plank against my feet. But that was as far as that went. In monofin competition contestants are not allowed to hold anything in their hands with the exception of a bottle of compressed air in special races. That was not my problem, so I began adapting my idea in all kinds of ways. At first my ‘waterwings’ were rather slim and quite a bit broader than they were long. I tried out various kinds of wood. The heavier the wood the more mass I could use to work against the buoyancy. Like the one I made out of Lignum Vitae. The downside of that one, however, was that it sank when I let it go. That was no good, as I was liable to loose it if I had to let go. But if the wood was too light it would take too much effort to bring it under water. Therefor I’d use either African Padouk or Zebrano as both have a specific weight just under 1.0. I made several wings and varied the shape from wide and slim to having more surface towards the rear, even tried out a double-decker. Finally I settled for a compromis. I began to make the leading edge into a bow, only relaxing it towards the endings. The trailing edge was a straight line, leaning forward in the middle so I could hold it there, so close to two connecting quarter circles. At first they were all wood, but then I began to experiment with rubber sails. These, I figured would ‘catch’ more water and thus have more thrust.

These I brought with me to Fanore in 2002. An overview of all of them you can find If you scroll a bit down on my homepage of Dolphin Address to ‘The WaterWing Museum’.

To be continued.

.