#i just have awful insecurity but it never went to jealously

[silenthilllz]

oh, i see his point

[mysteriouspenguin29]

i can’t experense how underrated Allen in some writing were he wasn’t so  awful how he hint to be kind of awesome one stories and slighter newer say he just really cool with Lilly being Asexual and not really wanting anything to do with sex saying he doesn’t need sex in his life to be happy with her god that kind of underrated line of mine.to Lilly who try to understand Allen understated but acknowledge of his kink of being tied up. Lilly doesn’t treat it as oh it must something Allen has gone through into the past. he just really fucking Like being dominate  by women and men   understand enough he like that and finds enjoyable.it even kind hinted though it never explored that she dabble into it. it never treat as bad thing. to her even talking about her feeling for another guy to him to thank god not be monsterly  jealous but really hearing her feeling out and them try to make this relationship into a poly relationship he pretty chill with the idea. dear god Allen who called zackery  in the very ancient  stories to be kind of possessive at point to him fucking killing her daughter and her being just fine with it. to now just being a healthy relationship  can’t be under stated

character now a day some fan fic and art tend to just go for the classic jealously and misunderstanding. which i know people in real do, but it just so seen these fan character kind of being Possessive a little of their partner for daring to talk to some else. i get we have doubt and insecure  if often written that way too. but i kind of sick of seeing so often.

i just really like writing now a day  characters fucking talking to each other for once in their goddamn life to see from their preservative. Vincent and Raphael has been really healthy friendship from the beginning they has always been these great pair of friends who i love to draw and write. while yes Lilly tried to ask Astrid what went wrong with their friendship to Astrid to never say is cruel but given how awful implied they were as friends maybe Astrid to be silent is just kind of her saying were to begin or everything just to her not begin what went wrong when it was always wrong., though Astrid and Lilly relationship never really get explained which i want to do more. Astrid when she was first written was just the villain with no backstory to her and Lilly having this hating relationship for no good reason. it implied Astrid mother is so awful person who tell Astrid what to do, dictated her life so much Astrid really never had a say. as it says Astrid mother planned Astrid future with her having no say how it goes.

Astrid was always to me meant to be a complex bully character who really never changes cause she doesn’t see her attitude problem  i seen so much the bully rich girl in Disney getting redeemed as it so often the case their parents are dicks. their suffer trauma blah blah blah. it interesting that Astrid while having some element of a tragic backstory and dick parents. she is also rich and a bully doesn’t change her way cause we got to face the fact that some bullies don’t change as people until their just punched in the face for it. i often see how kid even me where taught just the ignore them and they’ll go away as you just feeding into them somehow while ignoring in a way  is feeding them. what I’m saying that statement is goddamn big ass lie i ignore my bullies as they said i should did they go away fuck no it made it worst. it often said the bullies to be really taught anything is the need a swift kick or punch in the face from the victim as they realize their victim is not taking their crap anymore. i see people talk about how once they hit their bully the bully just left them alone. the teacher saying oh violence in isn’t the answer when they take no action on acting solving the issues. the bully may getting a talk to from adult but often then not they don’t learn a goddamn thing they just go back to their old way while faking promising they’ll try better when they don’t.

anyway enough about my experience with bulling back to Astrid i guess she was kind of defy that character type in the way.  wasn’t this about Allen was been here longer and not Astrid a very new character.  I’m sorry I got carried away with ranting about my passion with these goddamn character.

[star-spangled-steve]

His New Partner

Chapter 5: The Friends

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Words: 1845

Warnings: Motorcycle riding, a bit of jealous!Steve, a bit of insecure!Steve, cheesy couple talk, fluff.

A/N: Nothing really, just I hope you enjoy this chapter!

It was a beautiful Sunday evening in August, 2012. The sun was shining, the birds where chirping, and the warmth was relaxing. Y/N had her arms tightly wrapped around Steve’s waist, and her helmet-clad head rested lightly against his upper back.

The pair had just finished a date at the movies, and were driving home on his motorcycle. A local Manhattan theatre was playing a re-run of ‘Grease’, a classic that Steve had never seen. He remembered Y/N saying how much she enjoyed it, and thought it would be a fun idea to see it together.

After the film, that Steve had surprisingly enjoyed, he told her he’d give her a ride home. That’s how it usually went for the couple. Steve would pick her up, they’d go out, and he’d bring her back. They had been dating for three months now, and Y/N had still never been to the Avengers Tower. Not that she minded, anyways. The thought of going there was actually quite nerve-wracking to her. 

Which is why Y/N was quite shocked when instead of turning left where Steve was supposed to, he turned right. Right towards the Tower. She was going to speak up over the loud sound of the ride to ask what he was doing, but decided against it because she didn’t want to distract him while driving.

But when the rumbling of the bike finally came to a stop, Y/N noticed that they were inside of a parking garage. 

Steve got off the vehicle, turned to her with open arms and exclaimed “Surprise!”

“Steve, are you serious?” She worried, still sitting on the motorcycle.

“Of course I’m serious.” He stated. “It’s the perfect time, everybody is around today. Even Thor is here on business, or something.”

Y/N puffed.

Steve had no clue what the problem was. “Why do you look so unimpressed?”

“What if they don’t like me?” She asked.

“C’mon.” Steve stuck out his hands. “Come on, Y/N.”

After a moment she begrudgingly accepted them, and he helped her stand to her feet.

“Look, sweetie,” Steve started, brushing a piece of hair out of her face, “they haven’t even met you yet and they’re already crazy about you. You have nothing to worry about.”

“They’re crazy about me?”

“Very much so.” He stated. “The more that I’m out with you, the less I’m here to boss them around.”

Y/N giggled and tucked her head in his chest. “Alright fine,” she looked up at him, “let’s go do this.”

“That’s the spirit.” Steve grabbed her hand and lead her to the downstairs entrance. Once they got inside, they hopped on the elevator and Steve pressed a floor number. A floor number higher than anything Y/N had ever been on before.

“Woah.” She gulped. “That’s a-That’s a pretty high number there, Stevie.”

Steve looked a bit confused at what she was implying, until there was a huge smirk appearing on his attractive face. “Awe, baby. Are you afraid of heights?”

“Possibly... just a tad.” Y/N said in a small voice.

“Don’t worry, eventually you won’t even notice anymore.” He stated, pulling her smaller form into his side.

After what seemed like forever, the elevator finally stopped and the doors opened up. Steve gestured for Y/N to go out in front of him, and he followed behind her before grabbing her hand again.

“They should be around here somewhere.” He spoke as he looked around.

“It’s really, really nice in here.” She marvelled.

“Why thank you,” Steve and Y/N both heard from behind them. “I designed it myself.”

Y/N instantly turned her head, only to see one of the most well known faces on the planet. Tony Stark.

“Oh-Oh my goodness.” She let go of Steve and stuck out her hand. “Hi, Mr. Stark. I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Y/N.”

Tony shook her offered hand as he said, “Of course I remember you. You’re the little woman that stole Rogers’ heart.”

She looked at her boyfriend hesitantly and puffed out a breath, “I guess so.”

“I thought I’d bring her here so she could meet everybody.” Steve spoke.

“Well then we must call everybody down, shouldn’t we?” Tony inquired before speaking out “J.A.R.V.I.S.? Tell everybody to come down for a mandatory team meeting.”

“Who’s Jared?” Y/N whispered to Steve, obviously misinterpreting what Stark said.

“J.A.R.V.I.S. is Tony’s artificial intelligence system.” He explained to her.

“Wow, look how much you’ve grown.” The billionaire remarked, making Steve roll his eyes.

The conversation was then interrupted the by elevator doors opening up, revealing a redhead and a man with brown spiky hair. Y/N recognized them to be Black Widow and Hawkeye. The two looked pretty sweaty in their workout gear, contrasting greatly with Tony’s three piece suit.

“You guys better make this quick,” Hawkeye started “I was almost beating Nat.”

“You wish.” Black Widow chimed in, not having noticed Y/N yet.

Finally one of them acknowledged her. “Well, well, well, who’s this?” The man asked.

“This,” Steve told them, “is Y/N, my girl. Y/N, meet Clint and Natasha.”

“Hello, nice to meet you.” She said, shaking both their hands.

“Wow, she’s even cuter in person.” Clint remarked.

Natasha shook her head at his antics. “What he means to say, is that we love your show.”

“Oh!” Y/N giggled. “Thank you so mu-“

“Sorry, we’re little late.” A thick, Australian accent interrupted her. “Dr. Banner was just helping me out with something.” 

The group turned to look as a tall blonde man entered the room, along with a short brunette. 

“Who’s she?” The blonde continued. 

“Steve’s girlfriend.” Said Clint.

“Y/N,” Steve added, “this is Thor and Bruce.”

“Hello.” The scientist smiled.

“Nice to meet you both.” She beamed, shaking Bruce’s hand and then moving to Thor’s. But instead, Thor took her hand and placed a chaste kiss on the back on it.

“It’s a delight to be in the presence of your beauty, Miss Y/N.” He spoke with his deep, husky voice.

“Oh boy.” She slightly gasped.

Steve instinctively wrapped his arm around Y/N, pulling her into his side. Natasha smirked from the other side of the room, knowing exactly what little game he was playing.

“Well then, I guess Y/N and I should be heading out. It was nice to see you all, she had a great time.” Steve jealously insisted.

“Wait, wait a second, Rogers.” Stark chimed in. “You brought her here to get to know us, and yet all she knows so far are our names.”

“Ya, Steve. Relax, stay a while.” Natasha remarked.

Steve looked to Y/N, trying to see what she wanted to do.

“I wouldn’t mind staying.” She adorably told him.

Ah, those damn eyes, Steve thought to himself. “Ya sure, I guess we can stay.” He stated.

Everyone cheered and moved to sit down on the couches.

“So, how long have you two been together now?” Bruce questioned them.

“Three months.” Y/N said.

“Ever since the Battle of New York.” Steve reminded them.

“Oh, right yes. I remember that.” Thor added. “We were helping Stark off the ground when we heard the feminine screams come from a distance.”

“If I also remember correctly,” Tony smirked, “Thor was the one who originally said he’d go help her, and then Steve insisted that he would go instead.”

Thor chuckled, “Imagine if it really was me who went and got you, then perhaps you two wouldn’t even be together!”

The whole group laughed except for Steve.

“Ha. Funny.” He fumed.

“Relax, honey.” Y/N said, putting her hand on his knee. “They’re just kidding.”

“Awe, ‘honey’.” Clint remarked. “You two are pretty cute, I’ll give you that.”

“What?” Y/N quipped. “He is my honey. You now why? Because he’s sooo sweet!” She giggled.

“Then I guess that makes you my baby.” Steve added, playing along. “You know why? Because you’re so adorable, and precious, and-“

“Okay, guys.” Tony deadpanned. “This is just getting disgusting now.”

*****

“Wait, so Clint was mind controlled by your brother, Thor?” Y/N inquired.

“Yes. Ever since childhood, Loki has been quite rebellious.”

“Rebellious? Rebellious is even the half of it, pal.” Clint exclaimed. “He brainwashed me!”

“Relax, birdbrain.” Stark stepped in. “All Natasha had to do was knock you on your head and you were out of it.”

Y/N let out a laugh, stopping to yawn halfway through.

“We should probably go. Looks like someone’s getting sleepy.” Steve told them.

Y/N nodded, “Ya, and I have to work early tomorrow.”

“Awe, it was kind of nice having another female around.” Natasha complained.

“I’m sure she’ll be back soon.” Steve said, looking at Y/N for consent.

“Yes, for sure. There’s no getting rid of me now.” She joked, causing the group to laugh.

And with that they all said goodbye to Y/N, and Steve drove her home.

The couple were walking from were Steve parked his bike across the street, to the front door of Y/N’s building. She always insisted that she could do it alone, but he wouldn’t let her, deeming it unsafe. A comfortable silence washed over the pair until Steve decided break it. This specific thought has been wracking his brain for hours, and he needed to know Y/N’s opinion.

“Do you find Thor attractive?” He blurted out.

Y/N giggled, “Wha-Where is this coming from?”

“Nothing, it’s just… I’ve heard from the general consensus that most females find him attractive.” Steve continued as they walked, hand in hand. “And I was just wondering if you did too.”

“Well yes, Thor is a good-looking man.” Y/N explained. “But no, that does not mean that I’m attracted to him.”

“He sure seemed pretty attracted to you.” Steve mumbled.

“That is so not true, he was just being polite!” She laughed. “He literally just said he had a girlfriend, Steve.”

“Ya, ya, I know. I’m sorry.” He apologized. Steve never meant to sound so insecure. It’s just what most people didn’t realize, is that underneath the hard, muscly exterior, lived the 95 lb. asthmatic, who would pay anything for just one girl to look at him. And now he had one. One that was beautiful, intelligent, and kind-hearted. It would just kill him if someone took her away.

Y/N seemed to always pick up on exactly what Steve was thinking, call it her superpower. And right now, she knew exactly what he needed to hear. 

“Look, Stevie,” she spoke as they stopped at the lobby door, “I’m not going to leave you. Not for some Asgardian god, not for anybody.” She leaned in, wrapped her arms around his neck, and softy said to him with a smile, “I’m the luckiest girl in the world to be dating a man like you. A good man. I’m not just going to give that up.”

“You’re amazing.” He told her.

“Maybe.” Y/N said with a small smirk before Steve passionately kissed her, unexpectedly slamming her against the wall of the building. Y/N moaned in his mouth before they separated.

“Sorry for that.” He said, looking down at her.

“And stop apologizing for everything.” She giggled.

“Right, sorry.”

Next Chapter

Feedback is always welcome!❤️

[fairycosmos]

Hello babes what's your take on YouTube?Like the influencer culture and all?My sister is kinda obsessed with this YouTuber lol and talks about her life and I'm like DONE but also I feel so bad for not having that much money,earning it from YouTube etc and she is younger than me but her life is better and I'm poor and unemployed?Like I don't like influencer culture but it does affect me to see those people and I'm like wow I'm just slaving away for nothing?sjsjsj sorry this is just out of nowhere

honestly…..i just…..there is so much i want 2 say because it’s such an expansive topic and there’s so many different faucets of it like……i tend to think it’s just a more relatable and therefore more toxic version of celebrity worship/stanning, but. i’ll just start with the fact that i also went through a phase of idolizing youtubers when i was 13 in like 2013 and even back then it was a completely ridiculous and unhealthy internet landscape to be involved in but now it’s…..a MILLION times worse :/ because it’s so normalized even though it’s more of a ‘business’ than it’s ever been. what i want to know is who decided these public figures would get paid such a ridiculous amount for such little work/effort……who decided these absolute caricatures of people should set the standard for the youth……do they idolize them out of jealously, loneliness, boredom, just because they’re there and they’re pushed down our throats? what IS it? could it be curiosity and liking having someone to make fun of? or could it be enjoying the feeling of having a harmless best friend in the form of a 30 year old adult talking to a camera and selling their sense of reality/morality for financial gain? could it be for a sense of guidance and companionship that they dont have in their actual lives? a sense of identity? cause it seems like most ppl, even teenagers/kids, are aware that these influencers are absolutely not representative of reality or of what’s obtainable. but they still, even on a subconscious level, strive to be like them. to live an instagram highlight reel lifestyle, all of the time. i think it’s so deeply ingrained in ppl my age and younger now, we’ve been shaped by it. our core beliefs about wealth and beauty have been manipulated by those we’ll never ‘be like’. :/ and they rely on that public insecurity to make a profit. but yeah, the rest of us are working crappy jobs to never see even a quarter of the amount that these internet ppl make and yet they still try to play the game as if they’re just like everyone else, as if they’re uwu struggling too uwu……and it’s awful because the younger we are when we’re absorbed into this, the harder is it to see what’s toxic and what’s not. there ARE loads of genuinely talented online content creators, and i enjoy many even as an adult, but when you look at the bigger picture - how many of them are simply exploiting both their audience and themselves (through drama or for money or for attention) simply because that’s the person their job has allowed them to be? it’s like they’re stuck as perpetually shallow 17 yos and THATS their work. and then they preach to us as if they’re the pinnacle of well…..anything except unnecessary wealth. hgjfkdlsgf i dont blame you at all for feeling bitter about it. honestly, it’s not the norm to make a lot of money on youtube for people our age. it just gets talked about a lot to so it seems more common than it really is. but a lot of those people come from privileged backgrounds already, thats how they gain admiration from any sort of audience to begin with. it’s pretty sick, but try not to compare yourself to them as it’ll do you no good. what really matters is working with what’s in your own control. trying to be a decent person, trying to grow in the right way n trying to treat yourself with kindness. these youtubers have all of the money and to an extent all of the (means to be) happy that they need, but their poisonous environments and mentalities are probably preventing them from evolving or finding any sort of inner peace. unless they’re actively working to fight that, which some of them are, but the majority don’t seem to be…..anyway i hope your sister grows out of the phase and i’m sure it’s just a matter of time, anyway. it’s normal to be enamored with such displays of grandeur when you’re young, but then eventually we realize that…..thats really all there is. and to the adult mind, it gets boring. or infuriating! :/

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Brendon’s P.O.V. : Chapter Sixteen

I paid no attention to the amount of force I used to slam the locker room door shut but judging from the way Corvey jumped out of his skin, it must’ve created a fairly loud bang. I didn’t hear it over the sound of my thumping heart.

“I’m not gonna kick your ass, ‘cause that would raise suspicions,” I spoke slowly and clearly, taking cautious, deliberate steps toward the pipsqueak in front of me. There was a slight tremor in his legs; I had to fight hard to supress a laugh at the sight. Weakling.

“But let me make one thing perfectly clear,” I continued, picking up my pace a little. Once I was close enough, I clamped my hands down on his shoulders and gave a small, sarcastic smile; he flinched at the impact, shutting his eyes. “Under no circumstance are you to ever touch her like that again, you hear me? She’s not yours, nor will she ever be, so back the hell off. You understand?”

He nodded vigorously and I could see the fear swirling around in his wide eyes. Good. He should be scared.

“Wonderful,” I flashed him a dazzling smile and stepped back, patting him once on the back, “then we’re done here.”

I spun around and started for the exit, hearing him sigh in relief. My hand was just about to grab the door handle when I remembered something.

“Oh, and,” I turned to look at him, “You’re not training her anymore. Not in this life or the next.”

~

I watched her as she brought one hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn; she was clearly half-asleep and I felt only slightly guilty for cutting her slumber time short. But contrary to what she might think, it wasn’t an unnecessary move. If I hadn’t woken her up to do this, she would’ve been back in the centre tonight with that imbecile Corvey – God, even thinking of him made me sick – and we couldn’t have that. No, we couldn’t. Not at all.

If anyone was going to be rolling around on the floor with her, damn straight it was going to be me.

She was tiredly rubbing her eyes now, trying to brush away the remnants of sleep as she creased her forehead. I noticed that her lips were pouted, and I turned away before I could get any debauched ideas.

I flexed my jaw as I began rolling my sleeves up and cleared my throat as I backtracked away from her, willing my mind to focus on the task at hand: her training.

“Let’s start with the basics. Reflexes.”

She sighed and continued rubbing her face. “I already did reflex training with Corvey,” she pointed out; I just barely bit back a growl.

Why did she have to go and bring him up? He was idiotic and incompetent; I don’t even know how he ever passed training. He could never have trained her properly – so why did she approach him in the first place?

Images from last night flashed in my mind – of him standing so close to her; of her smiling genuinely at him; of him touching her…

Fuck, it made me mad. It’s obvious that he has a thing for her – a pathetic, schoolyard crush – but he can’t have her. She’s not available for him to claim as his own. And I would crush him if he ever tried to pull a stunt like last night again.

And I think I made that pretty clear to him in the locker room last night.

But, I still had to make it clear to her.

“Yes, but,” I flicked my hand forward, sending the blade flying straight at her head, “I’m not Corvey.”

I didn’t want to kill her – obviously – so I purposefully aimed a few inches higher than the top of her hair. She wasn’t aware of this, and the way she was currently glaring at me, panting and eyes broadened by shock, showed that she had been sincerely scared for her life.

It was an irrational fear; I would never hurt her. Couldn’t if I wanted to. Not her. But she wanted to be trained, and so I had to prepare her for the worst.

I stared at her with a blank expression, noticing her jaw tightening, fists clenching, and chest heaving. Annnnnd cue the hateful yelling in three… two… one…

“You’re right. You’re not Corvey. You’re a fucking maniac. What the hell was that, Brendon?! You almost killed me.”

I rolled my eyes, starting to think some of Corvey’s stupid rubbed off on her. Did she honestly think I would kill her? My job is literally to prevent her from being killed.

“If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve aimed lower – for your heart. That way, if you ducked, the dagger would catch your head; you would’ve died either way,” I shrugged.

“Wow, okay. Thanks. Thank you for that,” she remarked sarcastically, irately ripping her jacket from her body and aimlessly tossing it to the side.  

“It’s a pleasure.”

We spent the next forty-five minutes practicing her reflexes in hand-to-hand combat. She wasn’t too bad, I’ll admit, but she definitely wasn’t where she should’ve been after her previous bout of training. That’s just proof that Corvey was a god-awful trainer; she shouldn’t have gone to him.

I went relatively easy on her, making sure to hold back on the strength of my punches and kicks. Even so, I countered almost every move she made, and I could see her becoming increasingly unmotivated to continue.

I offered some words of encouragement as we went along, and that seemed to draw her back in when she started losing focus, but then her mind strayed for a millisecond too long, and she found herself knocked to the ground.

I felt a marginal pang in my chest as I watched her land with a harsh thud. Her hand flew to her ribcage and I almost caved and rushed over to pick her up, but I refrained, and a moment later she started pushing herself up.

“C’mon, (Y/N),” I sighed, making sure that my voice conveyed irritation and disappointment and mentally drowning out the microscopic amount of concern I had felt; neither of us needed me to show that. I did, however, extend a hand to help her up. “This is basic stuff.”

“Not according to Corvey,” she retorted, wincing as she rubbed her side, “He said that was Level Four stuff.”

Again with fucking Corvey! Motherfucker. Why won’t she stop bringing him up? Corvey this, Corvey that. Fucker is probably gonna headline my dreams tonight with the amount of times she’s mentioned him.

“Last time I checked,” I grit my teeth, not even bothering to mask my annoyance, “it’s me who’s training you. Not Corvey.”

“Yeah,” she said, furrowing her brows, “Why is that exactly?”

I knew exactly what she was asking, but I feigned innocence, raising my eyebrows in a silent request for her to elaborate. I would deny it to my death.

“I tried for weeks to get you to train me, and you refused. Then, as soon as I went to someone else for help, you decided that you would. Why?”

“I just changed my mind,” I stated simply. Which was the truth. I did change my mind. As for the reasoning behind that change… that was irrelevant.

“Yeah, obviously,” you snorted, “but why? Were you… jealous?”

Fucking fuck.

No, I was not jealous. Why would I possibly be jealous? Scientifically speaking, there are commonly three reasons for an individual to show signs of jealously.

One: insecurity. I am quite feasibly the least insecure person on these premises.

Two: obsessive-compulsive disorder and/or paranoia. Nope, don’t have either of those.

And three: a history of feeling jealous. Never in my twenty-three years on this earth have I ever been jealous of anyone or anything.

Ergo, I am not jealous, and she is delusional.

I let my head tilt back somewhat and scoffed before looking at her with a half-smirk. “Jealous?” I cocked a brow, “Why would I be jealous?”

“I don’t know,” she took a step towards me, “You tell me.”

“Believe me, sweetheart, there’s no reason for me to be jealous.”

“Then why the sudden change of heart?” she pressed, clearly wanting a proper explanation as to why I finally found it acceptable to me to train her. Sadly for her, she wouldn’t be getting one.

“Why not let me continue training with him?” she carried on, “I thought he was doing a pretty good job.”

Oh, well that’s fucking lovely. She had to go and say that. Now all I can see his fucking hand on her precious face. Honestly. I hope she scrubbed it after.

“I noticed,” I muttered, hardening my face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she frowned.

“You two seemed to hit it off really well,” I said, a hint of venom in my tone, “Or do you just let every guy touch your face like that?”

“Wha…” she shook her head in perplexity before recalling what I was referring to; then, she snarled at me, “You were spying on us?”

“I wasn’t spying,” I corrected, “I just happened to be near enough at the time to see it.”

“So you are jealous!” she scoffed incredulously, poking me in the chest with a small smile. “I knew it!”

Maybe.

“I am not, nor will I ever be, jealous of him,” I spat.

“You spied on us! I think that’s a pretty clear indication of jealously.”

“For the last time,” I growled through clenched teeth, pulling my face taut, “I wasn’t spying! The Director sent me off duty early and since I’m your bodyguard, I came to look for you. When I got here, I saw you… with him.”

“And got jealous.”

Yes.

I inhaled and exhaled shakily before lowering my gaze and advancing on her. She kept up her taunting resolve – clearly believing she was right – but still backtracked as I got closer to her.

“(Y/N), I am S.H.I.E.L.D’s best agent for a reason. I’m stronger, faster, smarter, and more superior than Corvey will ever be. Anything he can do, I can do a million times better. You thought he was a good trainer? I’m a great trainer. The things he would’ve taken months to teach you, you can learn from me in one week. I have no reason to be jealous of him. I am better than him. In every. Single. Way.”

I meant every single word that I said. Every single one. And she knew it, too. She knew that all of it was true, and she knew that no one causes me to feel jealously.

No one.

Except her.

Maybe.

Sometimes.

Fuck, I don’t know! I don’t know anything right now, other than the fact that her and I are merely a fraction on an inch apart and it’s becoming progressively harder to not kiss the fuck out of her.

The way she was looking at me wasn’t helping either, and I swear to god I was about to slip up but thankfully, she spoke before I could.

“In every single way, huh?” she chewed on her lip.

Stop that, before I kiss you.

“Can you prove that?” she challenged.

My eyes narrowed infinitesimally for a second and carefully, I lifted my hand before gently and slowly running the outside of my index finger down her cheek. Her breath hitched in her throat, and her cheeks heat up, which didn’t go unnoticed by me.

“See?” I smirked, “Hotter touch.”

She didn’t reply and I stepped away, not trusting myself. “Now that that’s settled. Let’s get back to work.”

She was so responsive, fuck.

I’m screwed.

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

[turntwriting]

Teuvo Teravainen Imagine- Insecurities

Pairing: Teuvo Teravainen x reader

Warning: cursing, self-doubt, insecurities, gets heated at the end.

Note: Thank you for your request, I hope you enjoy it.

“Babe are you ready yet,” Teuvo yelled from the living room.

“Almost,” I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was a little frizzy, my makeup was simple, and I didn’t even look that great in this dress. I cringed my nose at the sight before me. I looked awful and I wanted to start all over.

I smiled, trying to push the negative thoughts out of my mind. I fixed my dress one last time before stepping out of the bathroom. I walked to the living room where Teuvo was waiting for me on the couch. I grabbed my heels and sat at the edge of the couch to put them on. Teuvo clicked off the TV as he stood up grabbing our coats from the hall closet.

I was looking forward to this dinner, we are celebrating our one year anniversary. We met when he moved to North Carolina, we hit it off instantly and from their it was smooth sailing. However, I was everything besides happy to celebrate tonight. I love Teuvo. His smile, his eyes, his voice, his everything makes me weak. I couldn’t be happier to be able to call him mine, but sometimes I wonder why he picked me. Lately I’ve been feeling really down about myself. I didn’t want to tell Teuvo because I didn’t want to worry him, he has more important things to worry about then me. This has happened before, and last time he got very protective over me and I felt like a child. Teuvo was perfect. So many girls threw themselves at him, so many prettier girls.

“You okay babe,” I was pulled from my thoughts looking at Teuvo standing in front of me. I felt his eyes burn holes through mine as he stared at me waiting for an answer.

“I’m fine. Let’s go before we are late.” I stood up placing a kiss on his cheek before walking past him to grab my coat.

Music played low in the background as Teuvo drove to the restaurant. We didn’t talk much. He tried making small talk, but I wasn’t in the mood for it. Half way there he stopped trying and just placed his hand on my thigh, sometimes making small circles with his thumb on my exposed skin. My heart started to race. No matter how I felt about myself, even without words, he made me feel beautiful and loved.

We got to the restaurant and the host brought us to a small booth. Within a minute a tall, slim blond walked over to us smiling. She was so pretty. She had dirty blond hair, that was a little longer than shoulder length, and green eyes. She wore a black top that was V-neck, showing off her breast, and a pencil skirt showing off her figure. Jealousy boiled in my gut, she was someone who should be with Teuvo, not me.

“Is that good enough babe,” Teuvo once again pulled me from my thoughts. Both him and the waiter staring at me.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I ordered a bottle of wine. Did you want anything else?”

“Oh, no that’s perfect.” I smiled to the waiter who walked away to grab our wine.

“(Y/N), are you okay? You’re acting odd tonight. You spaced out earlier, you barley talked in the car, and now you’re spacing out again.” He spoke, words laced with concern, as he reached across the table to grab a hold of my hands. His touch sent shocks through my body, making my heart beat faster again.

“Teuvo, I’m fine. I just keep thinking about work, but no more of that. It’s just me and you.” I smile as he lifts my hands up and places a kiss on the back of each hand.

“Sorry for interrupting.” The waiter said as she places the bottle of wine and two glasses on the table. “Do you still need a minute to order?”

“Please,” Teuvo smiled at her, she returned the smile before walking over to another table.

“Have you folks decided?” Our waiter returned after a few minutes.

“Yes. I’ll get the crab cake dish.” I ordered and she just nodded.

“I’ll have the steak and potatoes, medium please.” Teuvo took the menu from me and handed it to our waiter.

“Good choice, the steak is always perfectly cooked.” She lightly giggled. The girl stared at Teuvo, not taking her eyes off him. She was flirting with him, right in front of me. “I don’t mean to be rude, but where are you from? Your accent is amazing.” She placed her hand on her hip turning so her back was to me. This girl is flirting with my boyfriend right in front me of.

“I’m from Finland.”

“That’s amazing, I’ve always wanted to go. I heard it’s beautiful there, the sights and the people.” The waiter bit her lip, not looking away from my boyfriend. The jealously I was feeling before was replaced by anger. I clenched my fist under the table biting my tongue to hold back from yelling at this bitch. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, an act to calm myself down. When I opened my eyes the waiter was gone and Teuvo’s eyes were glued to me. By the look on his face he knew I was pissed.

“(Y/N) it was just- “I put my hand up to stop him. I didn’t want to hear the same thing he says every time. ‘It was nothing,’ ‘I was just being nice,’ ‘she’s just a fan,’ he said the same things every time.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just have dinner okay.’ I smiled trying to cover up the anger I felt.

Teuvo and I were talking about the team and work when the flirty waiter came over with our food. I glanced at her name tag trying to see her name. Heather. Of course, her name would be a pretty one. This night just keeps getting worse by the second. She smiled at Teuvo before leaving us to enjoy our meals. We ate our meals in silence, enjoying the food.

The food was amazing and we both were so full.

“Can I get you anything else,” Heather asked as she cleared the table.

“No just the check.” She nodded carrying the dishes out of sight. “Did you enjoy your dinner babe?”

“I loved it, thanks for this. It feels like it’s been forever since we had a night out.”

“I love you, (Y/N), I hope you know that.” Teuvo held my hand once again as he spoke.

“I do. I love you too.” I felt the heat rush to my cheeks. I looked up locking eyes and smiling.

“Here you go,” Heather said as she placed the check book next to Teuvo. He took out his wallet handing her his card. “I’ll be right back.”

We engaged in small talk about his game tomorrow before Heather came back over.

“You are all set. Have a great night and hopefully see you soon.” I could have sworn I saw her wink at Teuvo. My anger reappeared again. I looked across the table at Teuvo. He looked up at me fear flashed across his face.

“What? What’s the problem?” My anger growing as I spoke. His eyes flashed to the check in his hand and back at me. I grew annoyed and grabbed the checkbook from his hand. I glanced over it and my heart dropped. At the bottom of the receipt was Heather’s phone number. I huffed before throwing the book on the table. “I’m ready to go.”

Teuvo followed me out of the restaurant and to the car. We drove in complete silence, not even the radio on as background noise. My thoughts were eating me alive. I wasn’t as pretty at Heather, I have smaller boobs than her, she had a better figure, and she seemed more Teuvo’s type then me. I couldn’t manage to look good enough for one night. She looked better in her work uniform then I did in my dress. The tears started to build in my eyes. I turned to face the window so he couldn’t see the tears fall down my cheeks.

When we got back to the apartment I went straight to the couch and sat down. I placed my head in my hands trying to hold back the tears. I felt the couch next to me dip, I looked up meeting Teuvo’s worried gaze. He placed a hand on my thigh and wiped my cheek of tears with the other.

“Babe, please listen to me.” He started to speak but I didn’t want to hear it.

“Why do you love me?” My words came out like vomit.

“What?” Teuvo was taken aback by my question.

“Why are you dating me? You could have any other girl, one that’s way prettier than me. All night our waiter was flirting with you, and she was beautiful. I could never be that kind of pretty, and you deserve the best, and I’m not it.” I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore as they came pouring down my face. Teuvo came and kneeled in front of me. He placed his finger under my chin lifting my head so I could look at him.

“You are more than what I deserve (Y/N). You are funny, you have the kindest heart, you are beautiful, and you make me happy. I don’t want a perfect girl, because I’m not perfect. I’m forgetful, I’m a slob, and my job keeps be busy.” He grabbed my hands holding them tight in his. “But even with all that you still love me. You remind me of things more than once, you clean the apartment when it gets to messy, and you never complain when I’m to exhausted from a game or practice to do anything. You also come to all my home games, you cheer me up after a loss, and you love me for who I am. You didn’t choose me because I played hockey, or because I was some foreigner you could get with. You took the time to get to know me. I feel in love with you, and all your imperfections. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and you are the only girl I want to love.”

He cupped my cheek pulling my lips to his. The kiss was full of passion. My stomach erupted into butterflies and I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me. I was getting light headed from the lack of oxygen in my lungs, but I didn’t care. Teuvo pulled back leaving us both gasping for air.

“I love you (Y/N).

“I love you too, so fucking much.” Teuvo let out a small chuckle before looking back into my eyes.

“Lets go to the bedroom.” Teuvo stood up holding his hand out for me.

I smiled before grabbing his hand. He pulled me to my feet and turned to walk down the hall to the bedroom. Once we enter the bedroom I grabbed his shirt pulling him into me. I reconnected our lips, this kiss was different from the one before. He was filled with lust and need. He ran his tongue along my lower lip asking for entrance which I granted. His hands traveled to my upper back grabbing a hold of the dress zipper. He slowly pulled the zipper down loosening the dress. He pulled away from the kiss bringing his lips to my neck. He used his hands to pull the sleeves of my dress down my arms, causing the dress to fall on the floor. I leaned into Teuvo, using my foot to push the door closed behind us. This man is the love of life, and I couldn’t be happier to call him mine.

[heartbuiltonhope]

Good Enough: Poe Dameron x Reader

Poe Dameron x Reader

I’m selecting different writing prompts from this list (x).

“Don’t lie to me.” // “You should’ve told me.” // “I can help you.”

You made your way back to your sleeping quarters after another long day of work. Being with the Resistance was what you loved, you had craved its membership since you were a young girl and your home planet was taken and held by the First Order.

You had been tasked with intercepting and translating First Order messages since you had officially joined the fight two years ago and you loved it, you were good at it. You tried your best everyday but somehow you still felt like you weren’t good enough.

Your anxiety was something that you had to battle against since you were young and it was mostly off and on. But when it came on, it grasped tightly onto every inch of you with a promise to never let go. You felt powerless right now as the anxiety had come on with a particular determination. With all the thoughts running through your mind, you just wanted to lie underneath the covers in your room and hope that sleep would find you.

“Hey! Y/N, wait up!”

You didn’t need to look back in order to know who was calling after you. It was Poe Dameron, hero of the Resistance and the best pilot in the galaxy. He was the best at everything he did and even though he was your good friend (and your unrequited crush), you couldn’t help the awful jealously you felt towards him. He was confident and cocky, while you were plagued by insecurity and fear. It was sometimes too hard for you to be around him (for your own selfish reasons, you knew) so you had done your best to avoid any encounters with the curly-haired pilot.

You attempted to pretend like you hadn’t heard Poe cry out for you and speed up your pace to your room but Poe was adamant to reach you. You felt his hand grasp your arm and pull you back to face him. You looked into his brown eyes and facial features, which were twisted with worry.

“Y/N, didn’t you hear me back there?” Poe asked gently, but you could hear the slight annoyance in his voice. He pulled you closer to him so that you were almost standing flush against his chest.

At his words and actions, you shook your head and attempted to push back against his hold but it stayed firm. His grip tightened and he gently pushed you closer to the wall in an attempt to lessen your chances of escaping.

When you made no other reply to his question, Poe scoffed and shook his head.

“Y/N, I’ve been trying to talk to you for days. At first I didn’t think anything of it because of how crazy everything’s been but I know now that something’s wrong and I’m not letting you go until you tell me,” he breathed out.

You tried to remain strong and get this encounter over with but you had already had a hard day and you were feeling particularly insecure and emotional so you could almost feel your resolve crumbling.

“Nothing’s wrong, Poe. I’m fine,” you replied, your voice shaking more and more with every word spoken.

Poe looked into your eyes, “Don’t lie to me.”

Knowing that Poe’s determination was unyielding, you made another attempt to break free of his grip as tears began to spring to your eyes. You could feel the stares of your comrades who were passing by and you suddenly felt like the walls were closing in on you. Your breathing began to pick up and heat rose to your cheeks, painting them pink.

While you were becoming consumed by your anxiety, Poe immediately took notice and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. He led you in the direction of your room and away from the prying eyes that were staring and whispering in curiosity.

“C’mon,” he whispered to you as he shielded you from your comrades. You hid your face against Poe’s jacket, your tears staining the soft material. You felt his grasp around your shoulder the entire way back to your room. Where at first it had felt demanding and determined, it was now gentle and reassuring. Poe didn’t let you go until you were safely in your room and the door was shut behind you both.

He guided you to your bed where you sat on the edge. You cried quietly and your cheeks grew increasingly warm with every second that went by as Poe went to his knees in front of you, in silence.

“Y/N, you need to tell me what’s wrong. I gotta know how to fix this,” he whispered desperately, placing both of his hands on your arms, rubbing them comfortingly.

Your sobs continued as you tried to control your breathing. “This isn’t something you can fix, Poe.”

“Well I can’t fix it if you won’t even let me try, so please…let me try.”

More silence hung between you both. You took several deep breaths as Poe continued the ministrations on your arms. You looked into his eyes. He looked so worried and broken. You had done that to him.

“I’m not good enough,” you whispered. Hearing the words out loud brought a new onslaught of tears to your eyes.

“Y/N, who told you that? Did someone tell you that? Because if they did, I swear I will find out who made you think that and I’ll kill ‘em,” Poe spoke firmly, his voice raising. Despite his harsh tone, his touch was so gentle as he moved to wipe your new tears away before they could fall far from your eyes.

You sighed shakily. “No one told me that, Poe. It’s what I know to be true. Everyday I wake up and I just can’t stop the anxiety that I feel. I just worry about everything. I worry about what other people think and say about me, I worry if I’m doing my job right, I worry if everything will be okay. It’s just exhausting to worry so much but I can’t stop it. I’m just a prisoner to all of my anxieties and I just feel like I’m not good enough for anyone or anything.”

By the end of your speech, your sobs had returned in full force. Poe looked up at you in sheer shock. You expected him to finally realize how absurd you were and leave you alone but he stayed. Not only that but he stood, pulled you up and into his arms for a hug. Your head rested on his chest and you finally felt like you didn’t need to hold back. You had told Poe about your deepest and most insecure thoughts and he had accepted you all the same. He didn’t leave you, he didn’t walk out.

“You should’ve told me,” he whispered into your ear as he stroked your back in a desperate effort to console you.  

“It’s hard enough for me to tell anyone about my feelings, let alone the Poe Dameron. You aren’t afraid of anything.”

Poe pulled his head back so that he could look into your eyes. His facial expression was calm and he laughed gently as he wiped more of your tears away.

“Y/N, that’s just not true. I might seem so confident and cocky to everyone but I don’t always feel that way. There are times when I feel insecure and scared, too. Like when you were avoiding me and I was forced to imagine the worst. Or when you had that panic attack just now. Sure, I might’ve seemed strong but I was so close to falling apart just looking at how upset you were.”

“Poe-”

“No, Y/N, hear me out. I didn’t know you had these feelings and it breaks my heart that you do. You’re my closest friend, not including BB-8, and I want you to be able to tell me anything. Don’t keep these anxieties bottled up. I can help you. I want to help you. So please, if you ever feel anxious, come to me and I’ll remind you that you are enough. You’re always going to be enough. More than enough, actually. You’re the best, you’re the-”

“Poe, stop! I get it,” you laughed happily. Your tears finally stopped and you smiled up at Poe, his smile shining back at you.

“Glad I can make you smile, Y/N. I’ve missed seeing it,” he whispered.

A new silence hung over the two of you as Poe leaned in closer to you, his lips brushing against your own.

“Is this okay?” he whispered, waiting for your approval before he made his move.

You nodded gently and Poe wasted no more time. His lips crashed against your own in a soft kiss that held a promise. I promise that he would never leave you, that he would never walk out.

So there it is! I have been struggling with anxiety lately and I just love the idea of Poe comforting and loving me when I feel those feelings. I hope you liked it. :)

BTW I’m sorry that I haven’t been active in a while. I’m still adjusting to my new job but thank you to everyone for sticking with me. I really appreciate it. xx 

[mystic-messenger-writing]

i love your writing! Can we see the rfa getting jealous? I know yoosung canonly gets jealous when you talk to others, so maybe something to that effect?

And I love you anonny, thank you for being such a sweetie!! Okay so I kind of wrote this as them being jealous plus like super over protective, I hope that’s alright! But I hope that you enjoy and thank you for the request!! ^^

Yoosung

Yoosung truly loved you with all of his heart, he knew that you would be his first and only girlfriend

Compared to you, Yoosung had always felt a sense of insecurity

Men would gawk over your looks, woman would constantly stop you on the street and compliment your outfit, even when you would visit him in the veterinarian clinic it seemed like the animals would calm down with your presence

While Yoosung obviously admired your beauty, he felt a sense of inferiority, loneliness, but most of all jealousy

He would make up excuses for the two of you not to go out on dates for wandering eyes to see and even deny you access to the clinic saying that he had more dangerous animals coming in

Anytime the two of you would go out, Yoosung would tightly grip your hand and give death stares to anyone who dared looked at you for longer than three seconds

It was getting to the point where you couldn’t even go outside alone anymore, you needed this to stop

So one night you sat Yoosung down with you on the couch and carefully explained that he was being too over protective and you could see that he was being too jealous of others

“I love you and only you, Yoosung. Just because someone stares at me or talks to me doesn’t mean I’ll leave you for them. Please Yoosungie, you have to lessen your jealousy or else I won’t be happy anymore.”

Yoosung felt tears stream down his cheeks as he buried his face into your chest, clutching your shirt as he finally realized just how out of hand his jealously got

“I’m so, so sorry MC! I promise that I won’t act so jealous anymore, I was just so afraid of losing you. But I love you no matter what, I’ll make sure that you’re always happy and I’ll start with being less jealous. I love you too, MC, more than you’ll ever know.”

Zen

Zen couldn’t have been more happy the day that you agreed to become his girlfriend

He finally found his true love, you made him feel warmth and happiness on the inside that he never thought was possible

But all of these positive emotions seemed to not be able to cover up a new major negative that he developed, jealousy

Anytime the two of you would go out and about, Zen would always stay by your side, even if it was just a simple walk through the streets

Sure, you expected him to be a little more protective when the press was around but it was getting to the point where Zen would wrap his arm around you even if just a man was present in your line of sight

It didn’t stop there, Zen was also becoming increasingly jealous of how many males followed your personal social media profiles, he even suggested deleting everything about you that was online

The final straw was when one of Zen’s male fans stopped the two of you saying that he wanted to date someone as beautiful and kind as you, making Zen sneer at him and wrap his arm even more tightly around you as he told his fan to back off

When the two of you got home from that incident, you held Zen’s shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes as you pleaded with him

“Zen, you know that I love you the most out of anyone in the world, right? Sometimes I feel like you’re too over protective and I can’t even walk around outside without you becoming jealous. I’ve always promised to accept every part of you but I refuse to accept your jealousy.”

At a loss for words, Zen only nodded, he truly didn’t believe that he was being that jealous but seeing you so upset made his heart ache

You could see the newfound sincerity in Zen’s eyes as you cupped his cheeks and gave him a long, loving kiss as he wrapped his arms around your waist, thanking you in the process

“You’re absolutely right, MC, and I’m so sorry for acting like such an over protective jerk. I just don’t want anyone to ever hurt you but I know that you’re a strong and smart person who can take care of themselves. Please forgive me my love, I truly love you with all of my heart and promise to keep your safe for forever.”

Jaehee

Jaehee never felt like she needed to be in a relationship but ever since she started dating you, she had an immense feeling of happiness

That feeling of happiness is something that only she wanted, she didn’t want you sharing it with anyone else

When you went to work, Jaehee would sneakily text you constantly, asking about you and if your co-workers were bothering you

She would also try to limit your visits to the C&R building, all of the employees there would ask you all kinds of questions since you knew Jumin and it make Jaehee’s skin crawl with jealousy

It got to the point where Jaehee would physically drag you away if she saw you talking with another person, telling them in a stern and fearful voice to leave you alone

While it was perfectly natural to become a little jealous over things, Jaehee was going way too overboard with it and you knew that you needed to put a stop to it

One day when she tried yet again to drag you away from a conversation you firmly told her no

After she gave you a confused look, you took her off to the side and explained to her the issue

“Listen Jaehee, I love you so very much but you need to time it down with the jealousy. I understand you getting a little jealous from time to time but I can’t even talk to anyone else without you trying to take me away. Please understand that I won’t ever leave you and that it’s okay for me to talk to others.”

The realization of your words made Jaehee feel guilty, how could she have been so blind to her own actions?

Jaehee apologized for her actions and promised to not be so protective over you - You gave her a hug, nuzzling against her neck as you have her a small kiss and she reaffirmed her statements to you

“My actions have been rude and alarming, for that I apologize MC. I never thought of myself as the jealous type but the way I’ve been acting is uncalled for. Thank you for understanding and giving me a chance to prove that I’m not some jealous girlfriend, I love you very much.”

Jumin

Jumin was able to experience a new array of emotions when he started dating you

He never thought that he could love someone so deeply, every time he’d even gaze at you he would feel warmth in his previously cold heart

But Jumin didn’t want anyone else to have this warmth, especially if you were the one they were receiving it from

Jumin never saw himself as the jealous type, he was wealthy enough to buy almost anything he could ever want so why would he be?

Anytime you would visit Jumin at work, he would feel a tight pain in his chest when you greeted his employees with your dazzling smile

He tried to be practical with himself but his jealousy would get the better of him, he ended up firing a dozen of his employees just because they we’re friendly towards you

When the two of you would go out in public, Jumin would have his security guards detain any on-lookers who would stare at you for too long

At this point, you knew that Jumin had a serious jealousy issue that needed to be resolved as quickly as possible

So you sat him down one day and explained your concerns to him as directly as you could

“Listen, Jumin, I love you with everything that I have. Just because I talk with someone else or laugh because someone said a funny joke doesn’t mean you can become an over protective jealous person. Please, have more trust in me and don’t worry yourself with jealousy.”

Your words struck a deep cord within him, he suddenly felt awful for all of the distress he caused you

You gave him a warm hug as you soothingly played with his hair, you knew that it would take a minute for him to process what you said

Jumin gently returned your embrace, his jealousy started to fade away almost immediately at your words

“I’m very sorry for the ways that I have been acting, MC. My actions were uncalled for and even ridiculous. I thank you for your understanding, I promise that I will become a man worthy of your love, my dear.”

Seven

Seven would be eternally grateful to have you in his life, you truly made him happy

It was a new kind of happiness for him that he’s never experienced before, a happiness related to love

This happiness became something that Seven didn’t want you sharing with a single soul, this happiness started to corrupt his mind

He would hack into your phone and distort some of your contacts who would talk frequently to you, whether they were friends, co-workers. or family

Seven would joke about never wanting to go outside and while that was true, he had an ulterior motive that by not taking you outside, less people would have the opportunity to interact with you

The final straw was when you managed to convince Seven to go out grocery shopping with you

He left you for a moment to pick up a forgotten item only to find you hugging another male, so he ripped you from the man’s embrace and spat at him to never touch you again

It turned out that the male was actually your cousin who you hadn’t seen in a while giving you a friendly hug

Seven felt bad and you decided that it was time to talk to him about his jealousy the second the two of you got home

“I love you to the moon and back, Seven but your behavior needs to stop. This jealousy of yours is getting out of hand, I need you to trust me more. I will never leave you, I love you too much to do so, so have some faith in me.“

Seven realized that his jealousy was taking over his true feelings for you, he brought you in for a loving embrace as he vowed to be more conscious of yours and his own feelings

"I’m so sorry MC, I acted like such a jealous idiot that I’m surprised that you can even forgive me. Thank you for giving me a chance to redeem myself, I won’t make you sad ever again! I love you so much, MC, I’ll become a boyfriend worthy of your kindness and love.”

[inkognito97]

Vampire obiwan meets his parents with vampire quigon

“But Master, I don’t want to meet them,” Obi-Wan whined for the up-tenth time. It didn’t matter to him, that he and his Master were already on the transport that would bring them to Stewjon.

“Obi-Wan,” he sighed as if he had suffered through all Sith hells, “we talked about this. It is part of a Jedi’s training to get to know his place of birth and his family, so that you know your roots.”

“But I don’t want to know them,” he repeated, more urgent. “I’ve got you.” Ever changing blue-green eyes looked pleadingly up at him.

‘Force, give me strength’, Qui-Gon silently pleaded in the privacy of his mind. But as long as he would not use his ‘pouty bat face’, Qui-Gon was relatively safe. “Obi-Wan, we WILL go to Stewjon and you WILL meet your family, end of discussion.” 

“Yes Master.”

Another sigh escaped the older vampire, when he saw the heartbroken look in his Padawan’s eyes. In a fluid movement, he went to his knees to be more on eye level with the young boy. He reached out with his right hand and gently cupped the ginger haired vampire’s face. “What is truly bothering you, dear one?”

Obi-Wan unconsciously bit his bottom lip and Qui-Gon used his thumb to make him stop. “I… I don’t want them to take me away.” He whispered.

The long haired man blinked. “Take you away? They can’t take you away.”

Violently Obi-Wan flinched away from the hand on his face. “Yeah, they can. I know it happened before. Parents can demand their children back… I don’t that to happen.” A blood red tear escaped his eye.

For a moment, the Jedi Master simply followed the blood tear’s trail and watched how it eventually dropped to the ground, before focusing on blue-green eyes again. “Padawan… dear one, they are not going to take you away. Neither I nor the temple will allow it.”

But the younger vampire was not looking at his Master. His gaze rested on the ground and his arms were protectively wrapped around him, as if he could shield himself from the rest of the galaxy.

“I will not allow them to take you,” he repeated more serious this time. “And you know why?”

“No…” was the hesitant reply.

“Because you are my little star and do you know what would happen to me, without my little star?”

“I don’t,” he had absolutely no idea, where this strange conversation was going. Though a warm feeling was taken a hold of his chest and it was expanding greatly.

A small smile graced bearded features. “I would lost my way, without my star illuminating the dark way ahead.”

“Master…” he did not know what to say to this. Instead he stepped towards the older man again and engulfed him in a hug, suddenly all fears forgotten.

A moment of silence passed between the Master Padawan pair, before Qui-Gon took the word again. “Though I don’t understand, where this thought had come from.” The heavy silence was answer enough. “It was Bruck Chun, wasn’t it?”

A hesitant nod against his chest was r enough. A deep growl escaped the older Jedi and his eyes turned red for a moment. This damn Initiate, he should have taught his some manners months again. But Qui-Gon pushed those feelings aside for now, instead he pulled away from his little bat boy and gently rubbed their noses together. He had no idea why, but it always made the younger vampire giggle and happy and he was not disappointed this time either.

“Forget that Initiate little one, he is just jealous and afraid.”

“Afraid? Of what?” the answer was innocent and genuinely curious.

“He is afraid of what is to come. He knew he has to be chosen soon and then he sees you, who was my Padawan every since you were three years old. he envies you for this, he envies you, because he knows that you are on the way to become a Jedi Knight and he is not.”

“But…” Obi-Wan began, “but he can still become one too.”

“Of course he can, his time is not yet over. But this is not the way Bruck sees it…” he let the sentence trail off.

“I understand,” and from the tone of his voice, he truly did.

Qui-Gon smiled gently at his young charge and then pulled him closer again, allowing the younger male to hide his face in the older man’s neck. For a vampire, it was the greatest show of trust, to allow another bloodsucker so close to your main artery in your neck. And Qui-Gon trusted Obi-Wan with his life, it was the same the other way around.

Obi-Wan was still nervous, when the ramp of their small transport ship lowered upon their arrival on Stewjon. He was not sure what to expect of his family, he had never once before had contact with them. Qui-Gon was right behind his Padawan, resting a heavy hand on small shoulders and encouraging him to go. A hesitant smile graced Obi-Wan’s young features and with new courage, he stepped down. He had to blink against the bright light a moment, but then his eyes adjusted and he was able to make out a couple of people standing nearby. Even from here, he could tell they were vampires.

“Go on Padawan,” Qui-Gon encouraged. Obi-Wan gave him a curt nod and then proceeded forward, head held high and looking like the proper Jedi he was learning to be.

Upon getting closer, Obi-Wan could make out three different people. It was undeniable who they were. His biological father, his mother and his brother. He knew at least that much. The ginger haired Padawan immediately took a liking to the blonde woman, whose eyes were so much like his. There was a sweet smile on her handsome face and her presence felt warm and inviting. His brother was harder to read. He was younger than Obi-Wan and his presence revealed curiosity and perhaps a hint of insecurity. The young Padawan was not sure about the copper haired man, who stood at his wife’s side. His aura seemed warm too, but there was something about him that made Obi-Wan feel unsure. He could not identify it, but it gave him a bad feeling.

“Obi-Wan?” the woman asked. 

The Padawan nodded, “Obi-Wan Kenobi, at your service.” He bowed. “And this is my Master Qui-Gon Jinn.”

It was unusual for the Padawan to make the introductions, but Qui-Gon just went with it, he was that kind of guy.

The older Kenobi raised an eyebrow and he looked sceptical at the bearded Jedi. “So, you are my son’s teacher?” He crossed his arms over his chest and took a step forward. Despite him being a lot shorter than Qui-Gon, he got threateningly close. 

“Indeed,” he was completely unfazed by the threat. 

Obi-Wan furrowed his brow. Something told him that his biologic father might suspect that Qui-Gon was a human. He suspected that the Force had told him as much, though he could not be sure. 

“Keith, dear,” the woman spoke up, “We have not even introduced ourselves. Let’s get home first, yes?”

Reluctantly, Keith Kenobi, turned away from the serene and calm looking Jedi Master. Obi-Wan wondered what it was that he had seen in his biological father’s eyes. Jealously, hate, disbelief or perhaps even arrogance. He was not sure. Whatever it was, it did not mean anything good, he was sure of that at least. 

“Obi…” he felt a tug on his sleeve and found himself looking into familiar eyes. His little brother had apparently decided that he liked him. The young Padawan smiled at his younger sibling and took the offered hand in his. He had at least found one he could call family.

When Qui-Gon stepped behind his student, the Padawan’s brother looked up in awe. He pointed at the bearded Master and exclaimed, “Tall.”

An amused expression appeared on Qui-Gon’s features and Obi-Wan snickered. “He is, isn’t he.” His brother nodded. “Take good care of yourself and eat regularly, Owen and perhaps you get just as tall one day.” He did not even notice that he had used the name the Force had whispered right into his ear. It sounded natural.

“Promise,” the boy nodded and then tugged on Obi-Wan’s hand to get him to move. The Padawan did not need to be told twice…

[arni-writes-sometimes]

Miscommunication and reassurance

[Jakurai/Doppo/Hifumi piece I tried writing]

Angst/comfort

As stress and insecurities overpower Doppo, it is only a manner of time he will snap. One misplaced joke was all it took for Doppo to reveal his deeper insecurities to his two boyfriends

Words: 2.2K

[might contain mistakes, as it was written at 4am with no proofreading]

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Can today be over already? Was the only thought in Doppo’s mind as tiredly walked home from work. It seemed like today the world decided to go fully against the young man. Work was awful, more than usual. His boss appeared to be now specifically targeting Doppo for hours, searching for him to tell the young man how worthless he is. His harsh words lingered in Doppo’s mind for hours, even after the work his words remained.

All Doppo needed now was a nice cup of tea and sleep. After all, today was Friday and Doppo might allow himself to not stay up until 4 AM to do extra paperwork. He just wanted to arrive home and spend the rest of the evening with his two favourite people. Thinking of them, Dppo signed, realising that he cannot remember the last time three of them had a normal evening together. Doppo frequently if not always had extra paperwork, Jakurai had night shifts and Hifumi’s work was even busier during the weekends.

Doppo smiled a little as he walked closer to the building, seeing that the lights were turned on, meaning that at least one of them (if lucky then even both) was home. Today, he felt even more vulnerable and weak, feeling on edge as hid mind was ready with another irrational and hurtful thought.

As he entered the flat, he could smell Hifumi’s amazing cooking.

“I’m home” Doppo called out. He heard someone walking towards his direction. From the bedroom, an excited Hifumi appeared, then hugging Doppo as the latter sighed in his hold.

“Tired?” Hifumi asked, drawing comforting patterns on Doppo’s back.

“Always” Doppo answered back, feeling as if he might fall asleep right there, in Hifumi’s hold.

“I made us dinner but Jakurai and I already ate since you arrived late. I am sorry” Hifumi said, scratching his neck “But I can sit with you if you want!” he quickly continued.

“No need, it is really late anyways. Go to bed, I will join later”

“Okay! Don’t stay up~” said Hifumi, letting out a yawn and returning to their shared bedroom.

Doppo sighed. First – shower, then he would eat and finally sleep. Easy enough. As he walked past the bedroom door to bathroom, he could hear both Jakurai and Hifumi giggling and talking about something. I guess Jakurai was here too. He quickly entered the bathroom, his clean clothes prepared already by Hifumi and lying down on a washing machine.

After the delightful shower, Doppo went to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of tea, sighing at the pleasant smell. He could still hear Jakurai and Hifumi talking about something but at this point, he was too tired to try and focus. A part of him considered sleeping on the couch since it was sometimes hard for the three of them to fit into a bed. They still haven’t gotten a bigger one due to the recent number of battles and work three of them had to focus on.

It didn’t help that recently Doppo started to feel insecure about himself as a partner, often questioning why Hifumi of Jakurai would even consider him to be a potential love interest. He couldn’t help by to compare himself to them and by his comparison, Doppo always lost. Especially now that he had more work to focus on, disallowing him to spend more time with Hifumi and Jakurai. When he arrived home at almost midnight on some weekends, seeing the two of them cuddled together on a couch brought him not only happiness but also slight jealously. Some part of Doppo knew that these insecurities are irrational and that both men love him dearly, but still, more than often his anxious side won over his rational.

As he finished drinking tea and subconsciously overwhelming himself with anxious thoughts, Doppo was ready to head to bed. After contemplating for a minute where to sleep, he opted to share the bed with Jakurai and Hifumi.

After opening the door, he was finally faced with his partners. They appeared to be lying comfortably, leaving the only space for Doppo near the edge of the bed.

“Hello, Doppo, welcome back. I hope you had a pleasant day” the warm voice of Jakurai filled the room and Doppo felt himself sighing once again.

“Thank you, likewise” is all he could say, yawning and approaching the bed. He felt as if he didn’t even have the strength to hold a normal conversation, instead opting to just fall asleep. As he approached the small free space and lightly nudged Hifumi to move. He then lied down and sighed, quickly looking at the two men who laid comfortably. Allowing himself a moment of sincerity, Doppo spoke.

“Can I be in the middle tonight?” it seemed like an innocent request.

“Go away, Doppo” Hifumi said jokingly, “today is my turn to cuddle with our doctor” he chuckled, hugging Jakurai closer and lightly pushing Doppo away.

“Hifumi”

“Nah ah, you missed your chance by coming home late” the blonde continued teasing and pushing Doppo away, not realising that the man appeared to not react well, instead of the usual nudge or retort back he was silent. Dopo didn’t even try to jokingly fight back or grab onto Hifumi or the bed. Usually, Doppo responded to his jokes well. However, today Doppo just couldn’t bare it. His weak mind already constructed situations where he isn’t needed nor loved and where such jokes have a real meaning to them. This resulted in Doppo falling off the bed as he quickly started to get overwhelmed, then quickly snapping and frantically standing up.

“Doppo! Are you okay there?” Hifumi’s now anxious voice called.

Instead of answering, Doppo was silent. He felt like crying. He quickly gathered himself mentally, exiting the room, his mind cancelling out worried voices of his boyfriends asking if he is alright. Arriving to a living room, his eyes found a blanket. Doppo quickly took it and lied down on a coach, covering himself in hopes of escaping anyone. He desperately tried to get his feelings under control in order to not bring any more pain to himself or accidentally snap.

“Doppo” he heard Jakurai’s voice. God, please not him. I can’t. “Doppo, can you talk to us?” Jakurai asked, lightly putting a hand on top of Doppo’s head under the blanket.

“I’m sorry, Doppo! I am sorry I pushed you, does it hurt? I’m sorry” he could hear worried Hifumi, who as Doppo assumed, has sat on the floor waiting for Doppo to reappear from the blanket.

“I am okay, please go to sleep” he tried to fake it, hoping that his own voice won’t betray him.

“Doppo” Jakurai insisted further.

“Please, go to sleep, we are all tired” Doppo tried a different approach, trying to calm himself down.

“Doppo, this isn’t normal, are you okay?”

“Let’s go back together so we can cuddle, right Doppo?” now Hifumi spoke. Before Doppo could stop himself, he answered back

“We won’t”

“What? Why?” Hifumi’s confused voice filled the room. Jakurai was silent.

“It is not like you would allow me. I don’t want to be pushed down again. If you wanted Jakurai to yourself, you should have said so”

“Doppo, wai-“

“So you wouldn’t give me a false hope”

“False hope? I-“

“False hope that I could actually enjoy this evening for once without feeling like this. I am so tired of these feelings”

It was known that under the stress Doppo can become extremely talkative and vulnerable and in this case, he couldn’t stop himself from snapping, pulling the blanket down as tears ran down his face and his fast ramble continued.

“Nothing is enough. I am trying to fight them, yet I only feel worse. When I should be feeling happy, I can’t. I just can’t. I keep thinking to myself that all this is a cruel joke, a lie and that soon enough you will realise that you should leave me, both of you. I keep comparing myself to you two and I lose. You can’t compare trash to perfection. You can’t compare miserable to lovely. You will lose and I feel like I am constantly losing. And I am so scared to tell anyone, because it is stupid. It is so stupid that I just want to disappear. I can’t” he gulped down, panting and losing himself “I’m just tired…I’m so tired, please. I just want to feel happy. I’m tired. I’m sorry” Doppo hugged his knees, trying to further hide before he would faint from anxiety.

“Doppo…” Jakurai couldn’t find any words for a moment while Hifumi started to cry as well. Approaching Doppo

“Can I hug you?” he asked with teary eyes. Doppo only lifted his arms a little, a small gesture that said ‘yes’. Hifumi immediately brought his as close as possible as Doppo cried into Hifumi’s neck. Jakurai soon followed, wrapping his long arms around the two of them and placing multiple light kisses on top of Doppo’s head while Hifumi affectionately nuzzled into Doppo’s neck. Doppo finally felt warm, allowing his feelings to escape as he cried into Hifumi’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Doppo. Please forgive me for my behaviour. I swear, I never wanted you to be away from us nor can I imagine my life without you in it” Hifumi was the first one to break the silence, hugging Doppo even closer and apologizing profusely “Please, don’t cry, Doppo. I love you so much. I won’t be leaving anytime soon”

Jakurai then followed.

“Please forgive me for not noticing your feelings sooner, Doppo. As Hifumi said, we love you dearly and cannot imagine being without you. I apologize for not acting sooner and allowing such dark thoughts to cloud your mind. I love you, my dearest Doppo. I am so proud of you for voicing your problems and feelings. I promise we won’t ever think of you less, so please, be as open with us as you can” the doctor said, one hand now stroking Doppo’s hair.

“Okay” that was all that Doppo could say through his sobbing, but it was enough for the two men.

“Let’s go get some rest. We can talk about this more tomorrow” Jakurai said, reminding the two other men that it was past the midnight at this point.

They all stood up with Jakurai and Hifumi on each side of Doppo. Hifumi then briefly stopped

“First, let’s go wash your face, Doppo” he said warmly, leading his loved to the bathroom while Jakurai brought the softest pillows and the biggest blanket to the bedroom. He then lit up a candle, hoping that the fire from it would help Doppo relax a bit. He then moved to the bed, taking the position next to the wall. After a moment, Hifumi and Doppo returned with Doppo looking a little better. His breathing seemed to be even but his cheeks remained red from crying.

Hifumi made a move to nudge Doppo to get in bed first, making the man take the middle position. He then turned off the big light, allowing the candle to be the only light source. After the three of them got in, Jakurai spoke up.

“Everyone comfortable?”

Doppo gave a weak nod while Hifumi excitedly said yes, the latter then asked if Doppo is okay with cuddling tonight or if he is too overwhelmed.

“It would be nice…but you don’t have to” Doppo’s insecure voice spoke. He didn’t really know how to behave after his outburst. A part of him desperately wanted to apologize, however he was too tired to do so.

“Of course we want to” Jakurai instead said “Which side?”

Doppo turned towards Hifumi, deciding to sleep on his left side today. This prompted Jakurai to spoon him from behind but not before stealing a goodnight kiss. His long arms wrapped around Doppo, bringing the younger man closer to his chest and warming him up. Jakurai was the first one to fall asleep, seemingly exhausted.

Hifumi meanwhile stroked Doppo’s hair, a small whisper escaping his lips.

“I’m sorry, Doppo”

“It’s okay, I am sorry for snapping at you, I shouldn’t have” Doppo whispered back.

“I understand, it is okay” Hifumi got closer, kissing Doppo cheek.

“Hifumi”

“Yeah?”

“Can I be the big spoon tonight? It has been a while and you are always taking care of me”

“Of course, but not before…” Hifumi took Doppo’s face in his hands, lazily kissing him.

“Now that I got my goodnight kiss, I am all ready” he smiled widely

“Jeez, you are too cheesy” Doppo couldn’t help but to roll his eyes.

Hifumi then settled so that his back was facing Doppo, which led the latter to bring Hifumi closer, affectively nuzzling into his neck. He now felt two of his most important people next to him. After couple of minute, Doppo could feel that Hifumi had fell asleep. Feeling both Jakurai’s breath on his neck and the smell of Hifumi’s shampoo, Doppo finally felt free, allowing himself to relax. Tomorrow, the three of them would talk about what happened. But knowing that their love for him won’t change, Doppo felt at ease, ready to confront his insecurities, one small step at a time.