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#i just how cool and positive this space can be
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i do generally want to keep this blog a space for positive stuff but i feel like it's not talked about a lot just how profoundly isolating being objectum can be. like, this axis of attraction that i have is so utterly bizarre and foreign to 99% of humanity that i can basically never talk about it outside very niche online spaces if i don't want to be mercilessly ridiculed or refused to be taken seriously, and i feel like my attraction to planes inherently makes talking about planes a "creepy" behavior because my interest in them as machines that are cool and interesting is inextricable from my attraction to them. it's lonely sometimes and hard not to feel like a complete creep for wanting to talk about this interest i have.
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simsbitchbells · 2 years
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genuinely sending out a huge thank you for all the engagement on my last few posts!!! i made this simblr as an outlet for some creativity ive been lacking in my life and i never expected i would interact with so many kind, talented people!!! i am always looking forward to seeing what yall are posting <333
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bacchuschucklefuck · 3 months
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Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?
I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.
disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.
this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.
what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.
with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.
from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.
with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)
#ask#not art#tldr a lot of fantasy high's and d20's nature plays against having a Horror horror piece in it. there's no space for emptiness or dread#that's one of the most attractive things to me about horror. the monster signifying a new world you don't understand#you see something on the deserted streets and you realize: oh. the world doesn't work how I've been thinking it does#if u've noticed how much this has in common with queer experiences haha. yeag#man. actually I should also put the I Am Not White disclaimer in there too lmao a lot of the notion of The Monstrous is! traditionally#about maintaining and upkeeping a ''social order'' (read: the powers that be)#and a Lot of Wilderness Fiction is deeply and maliciously colonialist#so when I say ''the unknown land'' and ''the monster'' I am pretty much speaking From one of those unknown lands#and from the position of one of those monsters#the fear of the monstrous is so very often the fear of being consumed by - or becoming - the monstrous yourself#and well. when you're already there in the eye of the zeitgeist. You Can Do What You Want Forever#all that to say it Is important to me that baron is made of riz's lies. even more so in this funny class swap thing I make for fun#like as a horror protag he makes me insane. he loves lines! he loves lines he drew himself. he replicates these borders in himself#that mirror the world he lives in that's so hostile to him. that kid Loves rules. he bows to even the ones that hurt him#like. u get where I'm getting to right I did make a whole comic kinda near this subject he's Already The Other#baron is a monster's monster. baron is a mirror image. GODs I cant help but wish they were messier#it's kinda why I make class swap baron to be like. an ever nearing realization. like I warble abt all this but I genuinely do also find#canon baron to be just as visually coherent and thematically perfect as riz if not more. it's hard to beat how cool the mirror stuff is#it's hard to beat that doll face in iconic visuals! I have to strike according to my strength rather than trying to beat canon#so instead of reflection it's captured moments. instead of a blank face it's the lack of one. mmm. maybe I'm just kinda breaking things#for fun also but that's My prerogative in my house awooga <3#well. thats kinda my thoughts on the general subject. thank u for listening. I will bake something soon dyou want some
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tirednotflirting · 1 year
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saw the maine again and now i feel Normal and Alive. show number 11 was such a special one 💛
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boy-armageddon · 5 months
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YES my username on yt is a blood bros reference :33 i need to go to crimes world again i know in my heart and soul that i love her but i seldom show her attention .. i need to care her more ..
HOOFRAY!!!! also pretty please do!!!!!!! for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#such a good album it is Insane that like. you never really see it talked about outside of certain spaces#and even then it was originally derided for being much less heavy than its predecessors#such a smart album lyrically and even in just like certain songs like peacock skeleton with crooked feathers#which btw is my go-to song to introduce people 2 them#for obvious reasons. the way the vocals play off each other#the keyboard#aforementioned lyrics because man they’re good at writing political lyrics that are simultaneously very pointed and relevant to this day#and also just plain fun. the way they word stuff rolls off the tongue very well#which I suppose is very much in part to Whitney being a very literary guy from what I’ve read up about him#SPEAKING OF!!!!! Jesus Christ the vocals. the vocals#(positive)#very very powerful for a guy who was like…. 21-22 at the time of recording I’d reckon?#I know whitney’s vocals are a turn off for the band for most people but imo? it’s one of the main appeals. 2 me he is like an insanely good#vocalist. almost jealous that he can hit those notes as a cis guy and I can’t cause omfg in like. wolf party near the end#HOW DOES A GUY MANAGE THAT…..#I love how they incorporated elements of other genres in it. like I don’t see them as indie rock like people#for whatever reason#like to describe them as in that album#but you can hear the elements. bringing up wolf party again cause nick zinner did some of the guitar in that and he’s in an indie band no?#yeah yeah yeahs or whatevs. they’re cool seeming I should check ‘em out#ALSO sorry I kind of glossed over Blilie. he’s really fucking good in the album obvs!!!!#pretty sure he did the album art which. omfg it’s had an aesthetic chokehold on me as of late#and also just. he has a nice voice#the sort of warbley thing he has and also his screams… goated#contrary to my posting#I’m actually a bliliegirl I’d consider myself lol. Whitney happens to also have a psychic chokehold on me#this is obvious. I go by Johnny and want to go blonde HMMMMM I WONDER WHY..#my bad for rambling in tags I just. I love that album so deeply#it’s very meaningful to my identity and songs like the title track and beautiful horses just. get me right at my core#evil neighing compilation
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magnoliamyrrh · 11 months
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okay enough of the rants im logging off last thing ill say is that identity politics is largely a disease 👍 its point with the extremism its been taken to in part due to cia postmodernism being to wreck class conciousness though the wokeificstion of fragmentory policies and identity👍 bipartisan politics also serve to divide the country (all countries) incresingly so that people cant come together👍 having the worlds most stupid useless fragmentory identity politics discussions doesnt help it keeps us from coming together and focusing on real shit 👍wars pit the resources and labour of the working class against each other for the benefit of the rich 👍"im iranian youre american, you and i have more in common with each other than our governments with us, and our governments are more similar etc etc."👍 if racism stopped and if sexism stopped and if classism between the working classes (which, everyone has forgotten what the term "working class" means, its not abt economic bracket, low, middle, and higher class can all b working class yes including the doctor whose making a lot of money bc it is the exhange of labour for wages) stopped the working class could stand united not divided aginst the system 👍differences in race, class, and sex have Always been used to pit the working classes against each other, and to give people a sense of "well at least were better than Those people" (opressed middle class disdain for lower class, opressed mens disdain for women (at least they have power over someone!), opressed peoples disdain for other opressed peoples)
i may bitch and complain about kinds of people on here bc its a way for me to get my frustrations out, but ultimately i do think it is vitally important to have hope and to try to bring unity between people. ultimately i think it is unity which is the only way this planet, species, and every other species on this planet may see a better futute. ultimately, more than anything, i think despite everything we, for everyones sake, have to understand the deep interconnected nature of everything, have to truly understand that one cannot be free without all, and have to try to build bridges.... it is very easy both as both members of the opressive and opressed class (and yes most ppl occupy both in some way) to fall into disdain, fear, and wants of separatism. ive done it plenty myself and at times i still do. trying to "be better" is absolutely exhausting. but. i do truly believe that we have to try. i do not believe hatred is forever. not classism not racism not sexism not abelism not anything. it is not a curse people are doomed to from birth. people can change, we all can. we at least have to try
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mused on some thesis about how billions uses Indignity to illustrate that something someone does has failed / gone wrong in one way or another, and how the way this punishment is an Emotional one means that it can't land if the character just doesn't Feel that punished by it, or at least doesn't like attribute the supposed failure to something inherent enough to them to particularly stew on it, see for example people heightening/escalating their efforts to embarass someone if even that person doesn't Seem to sufficiently externally react in embarassment. winston able to truck along while (a) consciously crafting or maintaining some persona, of eternal and irrefutable dignity or whatever else is associated with "merit"/status, isn't much of a priority, when to him his skills speak for themself even though to others this is about their own merit in recognizing independently if winston's skills Happen to have use, and putting him down if he tries to speak to that anyways, and (b) he's also just able to move along from L's handed to him, whether he thinks it was warranted (like that he'll accept it doesn't count if he only thought it but didn't say it) or not (why can't you count to loyalty), when even if this resilience To How Others Treat Him isn't exactly peak realistic, that he thinks of himself in such a way that he doesn't need to be striving for some paramount official status, or think he's defined by never failing or indeed never possibly able to be seen within a "wow undignified / embarassing" framework so long as this winningness is recognized, or so long as anything is anything, is sure feasible enough.
but anyways thought about it like this thesis is just "i am cringe but i am free" like yeah that works
#winston billions#just lifelong recognition that like the [the way they are means they generate comedy] type like peripheral characters are the ones like#yeah of course That's who's relatable; never the like supposedly aspirational and/or peak relatable central/main characters#and that can extend easily enough to the [basically just a running joke] Outlier Single Weirdo Always Just Doing Their Own Thing#like boy we all know people like that huh eyesrollingemoji like yeah. we sure do lol#but also like I Love You any time smthing using comedy is like; look: Everyone is funny & ''weird'' & ''uncool'' & ''doing things wrong''#like yeah they and we are lol#billions is creating what we Get to see or hear of in the first place / what info we get; how a character is shown to us....#and boy it just so happens that the characters who aren't epic enough to be brought further into the center of things#also just so happen to inadvertently or advertently Spontaneously share more info abt themselves for ppl to have negative reactions to#while we may be ''surprised'' that axe sucks b/c huh wasn't he so externally epic seeming???? like on what planet; first of all....#meanwhile winston is not here to be like as ambitious as possible & is more like. sometimes he'll play around; since he's here....#but this joie de vivre spontaneity is never Cool(tm) of him & maybe he'd be Cooler if he was like (scrolling) ''beneath me; beneath me...''#(he would not be lol. he's not allowed; fundamentally! it's not Merit in there or out here. nobody has a Deserved greater Air of Dignity)#(but he's getting to have a bit more fun now and then; he'd be punished for his inherent inferiority anyways. and even if like#basically his continuing to be present; continuing to choose to do shit; unacceptably flies in the face of the theory that someone's#inherent superiority will just Make It So that inferior ppl are shunted out of their way or w/e; means that ppl lash out about that by at#least trying to momentarily take Whatever away from him: positive emotional motivation; space to speak unpunished much less be listened to;#space to guaranteed have a Presence unpunished &/or unignored....like well that's the tradeoff to that versus if he tried going for the#tradeoff of much lower highs on average and maybe slightly higher lows on average. not up to You The Individual to simply ''correctly''#strategize your way out of anyways. e.g. rian has to Choose to treat him with basic respect for his being a person. or someone else has to#Choose to intervene in such a way that lends enough support to winston / thwarts the means with which rian can torment him.)#and in the meantime he apparently can only be peripheral & [funny; little] b/c his Dignity is low stakes. no Arc to ''restore'' it in eithe#anyone else's eyes or much more usually the character's own perception of themself. winston will just be like eh yeah i suck then lol#(when like basically the way He Sucks that ppl give him shit for = his being autistic like ofc he can only roll with / ''accept'' that)#and then he can go whee yippee wahoo & have a blood orange flavored doughnut & ppl can go my god if i were him i'd die#mafee i guess exemplifying this too. Generally able to scuff his foot on the ground like aw gee :( yeah i effed up cringefail style huh#and then move on without it really being much of a whole damn thing. even though it's also Often abt taylor likewise being the one like#[head in hands over mafee fucking up having the collateral or direct damage for them] but they're not here to be fueled by grudges#& ofc this all being Perspective; everyone in billions Is cringefailing lol; but not everyone gets continual [joke at their expense] for it
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slugtits · 12 hours
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you don’t even KNOW how i feel about vegetables
🍆🥒🥔🌽🥕🥦🌶️🧅🧄🍠🫛🫑🥬
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nomairuins · 30 days
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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nereidprinc3ss · 2 months
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no sweeter innocence (than our gentle sin)
in which spencer reid is gentle with overwhelmed fem!reader after sex
18+ (fluff, implied intimacy) warnings/tags: it's just aftercare, but like psychological aftercare, implied intimacy duh, vague descriptions of sex but nothing explicit, hurt/comfort without the hurt, allusions to postcoital dysphoria, reader cries but its not really sad, spencer reid is so kind i wish men were real, i think that is all a/n: guess who wrote an entirely different thing instead of touching her wips..... AGAIN...... this bitch cant do anything omggg!! but this was based on a request so go me also what a strange time to be posting but it's only 1k words and nobody can stop me
“Hey. Are you with me, angel?”
You blink your eyes open in the dark room—reorienting yourself to the tangle of your bodies. How many minutes has it been?
“Hm?”
He chuckles—a quick huff from his nose as he brings a hand up to push hair from your face. 
“I asked you if you’re with me.”
It takes you a moment to answer. You’re still trying to make sense of where you are in space, each sensation coming back to you one by one—the weight and pressure of him against you, the slip of cotton sheets and a cool breeze from the cracked window over your heated sticky skin. 
“Oh.”
It’s not much of an answer and your voice is small. For a moment he lets it sit, cupping your warm cheek. Your eyes flutter shut again. His voice comes gentler, dipped in concern. 
“You okay?”
This time you don’t try to speak. Your tongue is like a lead weight in your mouth and your brain is running on dial-up. The best you can do is to cling to him, hiding your face in the curve of his neck and hoping he’ll understand that your firm hold on him is a request for him to tighten his own arms around you, until you’re sure you won’t float away. He reciprocates and it makes you feel more secure immediately. 
“Can you answer me?” He murmurs, all sweet solicitation, lips brushing the top of your head in this new airtight position. And then, a moment later— “Baby. I wanna hear your voice.”
“Mhm,” you manage. 
Spencer rewards you by rubbing your back in slow circles. His hand feels nice on your bare skin. The way you love him is too big for words. It could make you cry. 
“Wasn’t too much? You’re not hurting anywhere?”
You shake your head and try to ignore the ache in your bones when you can’t seem to get him close enough. 
“Mm-mm.”
It’s not entirely true—your legs are sore, but it’s nothing that needs tending to, and your lower back is a bit crampy, but he’s already working on that. 
He hums. “You’re pretty out of it, sweet girl. What’s going on with you?”
Spencer is always careful with you. He’d never hurt you, or sacrifice your comfort for his pleasure. That said, he’s just as passionate as you are. The stretch of your arms above your head is still fresh in your mind—the ghost of his grip, pressing your wrists into the mattress, or pushing your leg up, or pulling you exactly where he wanted you by the hips. It’s all wonderful, and you never feel safer than you do when you’re with him, but it doesn’t make you feel any less vulnerable, any less raw, after all is said and done. Maybe it’s precisely because you trust him so much that you’re so sensitive afterward. But he never, ever makes you feel bad for having an intense reaction to an intense experience. He always meets you where you’re at. That in itself makes you emotional. Spencer is different than any of the partners you’d had before. 
Again, he’s patient as you try to process his question and work up a response. Maybe a minute later, you’re breathing out something that feels true. 
“Overwhelmed.”
The word is a tap against glass you didn’t know was there until it’s fracturing like a spiderweb. With no warning, and for no good reason, you find yourself choked up. 
“Oh,” he says, sympathetic and drawn out as understanding sets in. “Do you need me to back off for a minute?”
You squeeze him even fiercer and shake your head, unable to stop the tears from drawing their shiny paths down your cheeks and sinking into the weave of the pillow case. 
“Shh. You’re okay,” he murmurs, quiet and slow and almost sing-songy as he smooths your hair, though you know he doesn’t really expect you to stop crying. “You’re okay, pretty. Remember what I said about all the hormonal shifts in your body after you come?”
Once more you nod against him with a small, shuddering sniffle. 
“And how sometimes your body regulates by crying? Kind of like a… a reset button?”
“Mhm.”
“Mhm.” He shifts from rubbing your back to tracing light lines in shapeless patterns with the blunt edges of his nails, and your breath catches before you’re melting in his hold. “It’s okay to have big or confusing feelings after sex. It’s actually really common. I just want you to be honest with me about those feelings, right? So we can keep you safe?”
“Right.”
“Would you tell me if you were hurting, or if something I did or said was bothering you?”
“Yes.”
If you were looking at him you know he’d be smiling ever so slightly at your monosyllabic responses, charting an upward path with his hand and pushing it through your hair at the nape of your neck. “You can just nod, baby. You don’t have to talk. I know you’re tired.”
You make a small noise of gratitude and nuzzle closer, feeling better as the tears slow, quickly as they’d come. 
“Do you want a bath in a little while?”
Another nod. He scratches at your scalp. “Okay. We’ll do a bath, and then dinner, and then I’m finally going to make you watch that documentary about Helvetica. It’s a little outdated, and there are a few basic errors about the origin and development of the font as well as misinformation about the typeface subgroup in general, but I can amend those as we watch and afterward we can read the director’s tenth anniversary statement. I was waiting to read it until we watched it together.”
Spencer knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’ll fall asleep ten minutes in, curled up on the couch under a blanket in your biggest hoodie with your head on his lap and his hand in your hair, just like this. 
He’s actually really looking forward to it.
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onlyswan · 1 year
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summary: in which jungkook can’t sleep, and he can’t stop kissing you either.
> fluff, suggestive / word count: 2.6k
> content/warnings: alexa play seven by jungkook! mentions of s^x, lots and lots of cutie kisses :( they’re in that afterglow <3 oc’s chest is his pillow :(
> in which masterlist!
note: hi hi. here’s ur slice of pure self indulgent fluff 🍰 i just had to write abt this jk :P there’s a reference to in which you always get what you want and jungkook is dying to kiss you 🥹 reblogs & feedback are vv appreciated. i’d love to hear ur thoughts so feel free to scream or laugh or cry <3
a fleeting white light passes through your closed eyelids, nearly blinding, as you hear the familiar shutter of your boyfriend’s polaroid camera.
“jungkook,” you whimper weakly due to the sudden disturbance, burying your face on the soft pillows while pushing the camera away.
“shit, shit- sorry, baby-” he winces, guilty of disrupting your journey to slumber, as he scrambles to fix his mistake. “forgot to turn off the flash.”
he places the polaroid face down on the space behind him to give it the time to develop the photo he had taken. much to your relief, the bedroom falls silent once more except for the quiet humming and breathing of the airconditioner. you return to properly laying your head on the pillow, taking a small gasp of oxygen, and jungkook smiles because of how adorable you are for still refusing to open your eyes.
“can i take more pictures?”
“did you turn it off?” you whisper as you stretch your legs to find a more comfortable position, unwittingly pulling down the comforter and exposing your nakedness to the cool air. this gives rise to goosebumps on your skin, causing you to shiver, but your boyfriend is quick to your rescue. he catches the hem before it could slide past your skimpy shorts.
“i did.”
a chaste kiss is planted on your shoulder before it is returned underneath the warmth of soft layers of cotton and fabric.
you sigh, melting back into relaxation. “okay.”
he re-anchors his elbow into the mattress, resting his head on his palm to admire the majestic view of you. jungkook likes this a lot, he lives for it— lying on the bed face-to-face with his sated lover, spending the rest of the night feeling like his heart is not a big enough vessel to hold all the love he has for you. the lights he is yet to turn off have splashed the dark room with a red glow that engulfs your figure as well, escalating his heartbeat, so hypnotic and tantalizing, he finds himself breathing heavier and heavier behind the viewfinder, or maybe he has stopped breathing at all. the shutter briefly fills the silence.
this is… the arch of your back is burned in his mind and he swears he still tastes you on his tongue, but seeing you like this feels so different.
he was consumed by his pleasure and yours just half an hour ago, admittedly almost blinded by his own sweat dripping from his forehead because he simply couldn’t stop wanting more of you, giving himself to you. you weren’t exactly innocent either, with your provocative touches and coquettish smiles, whispering lewd words that was gasoline to the lust flaring up inside of him. he revels in seeing that you’re just as desperate for it as he is, if not more, purely from the way you beseech him with your eyes mirroring stained glass windows. he knows you love it when he fucks you so good it brings you to tears, welcoming the delightful intensity of his nature, and that you were also trying to tire him out so he’d finally feel sleepy, but holy shit, looking at you right now, he wants nothing more but to hold you with utmost gentleness.
wildly concentrated with his bottom lip tucked in between his teeth, he brushes away the hair that fell on your face before capturing another exquisite memory to be burned into film.
jungkook is greedy when it comes to you.
a disgruntled whine slips from your mouth when the pillow underneath your head is replaced by his thick arm, which is then rudely cut off by his lips crashing on yours.
clearly, you’ve grown too comfortable in this relationship.
“i love you.” he drunkenly mutters, instantly going for another kiss and barely finishing his another- “i love you.” before he’s kissing you again.
“babe-” you chuckle then gasp, holding on to his wrist as his tattooed hand loosely wraps around your neck.
“i love you. i love you, i love y- i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you.” he repeats himself over and over, the volume of his voice gradually getting quieter as he runs out of breath, until his tongue becomes tied. grounded by the feeling of your steady pulse beneath his thumb, he silences himself by tenderly kissing you, soft lips molding with yours for a wordless declaration of devotion this time around.
pure static— there are no thoughts running in your head. your limbs feel numb but tingly. you feel like you’re floating- no, you’re falling. the bed has turned into an abyss and you’re falling endlessly and jungkook holding you close is the only thing that makes sense. you might have to consider this true heaven, nothingness with your everything, when the whole world is lights-out and quiet that it feels like time has been suspended, and the only way to keep track of it is through each pump of your heart.
at last, your eyelids slowly flutter open as he pulls away, and he greets you with that boyish grin. “pretty.”
his hand on your neck moves to stroke your face lovingly, eyes glimmering with various emotions as they wander your features.
“____ is so, so pretty.”
“hm, really?” you hum sleepily, leaning closer to his touch. “thanks to you.”
“me?” his doe eyes widen in confusion.
“you know, for the afterglow. i feel nice.” you giggle brightly at your own half-joke, positively out of your goddamn mind as you hide your warm face on his shoulder.
“ahhh- ah!”
enlightenment then dawns on your boyfriend.
his giggles blend in with yours for a harmony that strikes the same joy as the sound of wind chimes on a windy day.
jungkook tries not to appear too cocky about the compliment, but consequences be damned, he would die satisfying his lover.
“oh yeah, baby? do you now?” there’s a self-satisfied smirk plastered on his face when you take a peek at him, which then morphs into a grin when your eyes meet. “i feel nice, too.”
“nice?” your voice comes out delicate, droopy eyes asking him for confirmation.
“nice.”
he feels a tug at his heartstrings.
“you know what? fucking great… i could never have enough of you.”
it becomes silent for a while. his tattooed hand slides under the comforter, letting his fingers skim across the side of your waist, feather-light touches on your bare skin before he’s pulling you closer to his body.
“i… i don’t doubt that feelings like this can only grow as time goes on but… it’s still amazing that when i think about it, even until now, all the time, i want to be with you.”
he involuntarily breathes out a shaky sigh, ears going red as they do when he’s expressing sincerity from the deepest parts of his soul.
“really, how do you do this…? what is this magic? why- why do i like you so much? i mean, i know why! of course! but, wow!” he squeezes his eyes shut to express his disbelief, clicking his head to the side. “it’s possible for it to be this much? do you get what i’m saying? i just have thoughts like that— love is so fascinating.”
you barely process his words with your brain still in a haze of bliss, but it’s funny, hearing these questions from the same man who has the entire world madly obsessed with him.
oh, this actually sounds familiar. he’s getting all sentimental and philosophical. again. and he’s not drunk. were you that good tonight?
“i won’t give away my secrets just like that. what if you use them on someone else?” you tease him, rubbing your tired eyes and shaking your head as you giggle.
you receive a dirty look from him, clearly offended and uninterested in the thought of putting in the hard effort to impress someone that isn’t you.
“aish, stop talking! i don’t like hearing you talk in that way.”
“then what else am i supposed to do? you’re the one who woke me up.” you retort in annoyance.
but you honestly don’t think there’s any secret to tell. jungkook is in love with you. plain and simple.
“you’re right, i’m sorry. go back to sleep if you want to.”
he dips down to plant gentle pecks on your shoulder, going down on a trail to your neck, and you unconsciously tilt your head to his convenience because he’s bringing the butterflies in your stomach back to life. it feels good, everything he does always feels good.
“you’re seriously not done?” you mumble against his lips, unfaltering with the kisses as if he would run out of them any minute now.
he stubbornly answers with a “no!” as his lips ghost over your cheek.
if only bam was here, jungkook would eventually leave you alone to rest. he would pester him with his late-night burst of affection instead while talking shit about you to your child because you dodged his kiss in your sleep.
“babe, you’re supposed to sleep. you have work later.”
“no, i don’t want to sleep. i… i want to kiss you- baby.” he protests as he continues to pepper your face with kisses, giving your body a particularly tight squeeze when he searches for your lips again.
you blink at him in confusion when he suddenly sends you a look of irritation, eyebrows furrowed and eyes glaring.
“you haven’t even said ‘i love you’ back yet.”
“oh, i haven’t?” you wince innocently. “sorry. i love you.”
but he should be the one apologizing to you, since it’s his fault that you still can’t think straight, or walk for that matter.
you pat around the mattress behind his back until you stumble upon the camera, and it’s jungkook’s turn to be your beloved muse. you scoot away until the lens manage to capture him down to his shirtless abdomen. you watch him in complete awe behind the viewfinder. he squints at you, raising his eyebrows flirtatiously, and he smirks when you chuckle in amusement.
“ah wait- take this! take this! you have to take a good one, got it? i worked so hard on them yesterday!” he eagerly voices out a special demand.
he shuffles to flex his arm infront of the camera, showing off his well-defined triceps and biceps while releasing rich, throaty grunts. totally unnecessary, but so achingly jungkook.
your boyfriend is outrageously, ridiculously sexy— he’s still wearing that stupid black headband he hastily put on in the middle of sex because he got pissed off at his hair and he needed it out of the way so he could ‘properly see his love’s beautiful body.’
you roll your eyes inside your head.
what a fucking tease.
nonetheless, you acquiesce.
the flash goes off.
and another polaroid is crafted into existence that you selfishly want to keep for your eyes only.
“baby, let me see.”
“it’s mine!” you scrunch your nose with a childlike charm, hiding the polaroid behind your back.
he chuckles, hopelessly endeared by you.
“yes, i’m yours.” he coos in response.
and your unguarded heart is once again swept away by the taste of his tongue. the camera becomes an abandoned item. your fingers daintily pushes off his headband in favor of freely tangling them with his silky hair, and it also ends up getting lost somewhere in the sheets as his sweet kisses lull you in a false sense of security… because out of nowhere, that same blazing light burns through your closed eyes for the second time tonight.
jungkook playfully waves the polaroid infront of your face, and his toothy grin is met by your unimpressed expression.
“this is mine!”
he has been waiting to jump into this type of opportunity, to orchestrate a romantic moment to be stolen in film— you can tell by the sparkles in his eyes. reminiscent of that one late night in a tiny photobooth where your younger and clueless selves were cramped in, this is what you and his hyungs often talk about, how much you share the same fondness for the fact that jungkook hasn’t changed at all.
“just how many pictures of you kissing me do you need?” you ask him lightheartedly.
he juts out his bottom lip sullenly, and a few beats pass before he forms an answer. “i always need more for when i miss you.”
you copy his frown. “then what about me when i’m missing you too?”
“hmmm… i want you to always remember me like this, baby.” he melodramatically declares as he picks up the one and only polaroid you’ve taken of him tonight. “can you see my abs too…? oh- it’s not showing yet.”
he looks back at you shyly with a laugh, and he places it back down to let it continue developing.
“i’ll look later. i can’t even keep my eyes open anymore. ‘m so tired.” you sadly sniffle to gain his pity, fluttering your damp eyelashes at him. “let’s go to sleep, please?”
jungkook doesn’t find it in himself to articulate a consolation or protest, not when you’re tugging him down to coax him into laying his head on your chest.
“heaven.” he moans, overcome by contentment.
he adjusts himself a bit to be more comfortable before dragging the comforter further upwards to provide warmth for the two of you, all the while refusing to remove his face nuzzled up against you.
“why are you always like this? can you even breathe?” you chuckle with your eyes closed.
“i love your boobs.” his honest reply comes out muffled, cute for some reason, along with his satisfied hums prompted by your nails lightly scratching his scalp.
“i know.”
he turns his head to the side to look up at you, and he carries on to speak with his cheek squished against you. “i really, really mean it.”
“yes, baby. i believe you.”
a minute of silence passes. the ecstasy still flooding your veins becomes a stepping stone in the pond towards your dreamland, where all is either fantastically perfect or horrifically fucked up.
but then you feel sloppy kisses being deliberately scattered in the middle of your chest, leading down to your stomach, and you get rudely knocked over into the cold, clear waters.
yes, plea- oh no, no, no, no.
“jungkook, baby, stop. i can’t go another round.” you whine pathetically, being driven closer to the urge to burst into tears.
“AH! o-ow- ouch- baby, wha- i swear, i wasn’t even planning on it!” he loudly exclaims in surprise when you harshly pull him away by his hair.
“still…” your voice cracks. “you know i’ll get turned on!”
his chuckles are infuriatingly raspy and of no help at all, ego inflating upon hearing your response and the frustration obviously laced with it.
“okay, okay! i’m sorry! i’ll behave now!”
thank god.
he assumes his previous position, the place that he deems to be the warmest and the coziest. as he wraps his arms around your waist, your fist relaxes into an open palm that cradles the back of his head.
“____?” he mumbles, finally feeling the tiredness seep into his sore muscles now that he’s lying motionless.
“hmm?”
“let’s eat dinner outside after work.”
“…meat?”
“and beer!” he adds, brimming with excitement, and he salivates as he can almost taste them in his mouth already. they are his favorite, after all.
“i’ll come pick you up then.” you drop a kiss on his forehead, and he sighs happily. “but go to sleep or else i’ll kick you out of the bedroom again.”
his sweet embrace becomes an iron grip.
cold and alone, he swears those were some of the worst three hours of his life.
he squeaks in defeat. “goodnight, baby.”
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luveline · 1 year
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𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝? | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧
Your best friend Eddie tries to explain what a hickey feels like and finds he doesn't have the words. He could show you, though, if you want? [3k] 
fem!reader, shy!reader, implied inexpereinced!reader, friends-to-lovers, pining, mdni heavy petting, hickeys, lots of hickeys, marking up, neck kissing, shoulder kissing, heat of the moment confessions, eddie being flirty but also a good friend, requested here
𓆩❤︎𓆪
Eddie strokes down the length of his guitar neck almost tenderly. You're focused on his hands rather than his mouth as he recounts last night's date to you, distracted by the deft movement of his fingers, which aren't exactly small. It's an oxymoron —paradoxical, even— that his thick fingers would move with such gentle precision. 
You shift around where you're sitting on his bedroom floor, criss-cross applesauce with an uncomfortable heat rising from the bottomless pit of your stomach to your tight collar. The white button up you'd worn under your sweater vest is a size too small. You're really starting to notice. 
You peel out of the vest and hope it'll help you calm down.
"She wasn't exactly sweet," Eddie says, plucking a string, listening to the sound, and tuning it this way or that depending on how he liked it. "I think she wanted to get it over with, which isn't really my thing. She was in my lap before I could make it clear I wasn't interested in anything quick." 
You lift your gaze from his hands. He must feel you watching his face. He looks up in tandem and smiles reassuringly. "It's fine. I kind of thought she was getting into it, she was like a vampire on me at one point, but I wasn't feeling it and it's clear she wasn't either. Drove her home. How was your night, d'you watch that tape?" 
You trace the coil of a black curl down to his shoulder, and can't force yourself to meet his eyes as you ask, "A vampire?" 
"What?" 
"She was like a vampire at one point, you said." Eddie's arm goes still. "What did you mean by that?" you ask.
He puts his guitar down on the floor. You worry you've said something truly dull for him to place his sweetheart in such a rush, but Eddie's like that. He can tell you're embarrassed no doubt, and he's giving you the answer to your question as swiftly as he can to soothe the wound. 
"Here, look," he says. He pushes his hair away from his neck on one side and tilts his head, bearing a wine-stained curve of skin to you unabashedly. "She kissed me. She gave me a hickey, used a lot of teeth. That's why it's bruised so much on the edges." 
Warmth you've never felt rushes in, like your blood has superheated, and it's written on your face. Eddie's room feels suddenly a thousand times smaller than before and more intimate, his poster wallpaper curving in, the space between you inching closer. 
"Sorry," he says, "I know it's kind of weird to show you." 
"No, I'm sorry," you say, mortified. "I shouldn't have asked you." 
"Yeah, you should. You didn't get it and now you do. I don't mind telling you." 
Eddie lets his hair fall back against his neck, a kinky curtain that looks ridiculously soft in the orangey light of his lamp. There's a butter smoothness to it, and the way he moves as he does is worse, his hand open and reaching for you. He doesn't hold your hand, doesn't even try, just lets his upturned palm hang off the edge of his knee as if to say, Ask me whatever it is you want to ask me. It's cool. 
"Why would she do that?" you ask, gesturing to your neck.
"It's not her fault, I was flirting with her a ton trying to make it work."
"Not like that." 
Eddie's hand turns toward his knee. "Like what?" 
Your hand drifts to your own neck absentmindedly. You get kissing, wanting to be kissed and wanting to give them. You understand why she kissed his neck; if you'd been in her position, alone in the car with Eddie laying his charm on thick, you might climb the console and push aside his hair too. 
"I know why she kissed you. I don't see why she…" You rub your lips together, your embarrassment turning sharp. You hate how humiliating this feels. "I know what a hickey is, Eds, but why would you want one?" 
His turn to fluster. The tiniest tinge of pink paints his cheeks. "Are you asking me why I enjoyed it?" 
"Did you?" 
You despise yourself, truly. Worse when Eddie laughs, his chest forward, hair falling in his face as he chuckles sincerely. 
"Yeah," he says, smiling at you "I liked it. Before she started trying to kill me I was having a good time." 
He doesn't put you through the agony of asking what you both know he wants to. 
You've never had one?
"It feels warm, and it's– you know how being kissed gives you butterflies, right? It's better than that. It's hot, and all her weight is on you and you have your hand on her back trying to pull her in, and she's as close as she can be without, you know." Something flickers across Eddie's face. Not longing, but a remembered pleasure. It makes you squirm. 
"I don't see how it doesn't just hurt." 
The hand that hadn't been reaching for you holds a pick. He flashes it between his fingers, a party trick, a nervous tic, his eyelashes tangling together as his eyelids inch closed. He scrunches his face up for a second. 
"Don't hate me if I ask you something weird," Eddie says, eyes shut tight. 
You don't think you could. You watch Eddie's face, knowing he can't see your analysis, and feel a shock of pins and needles in your hands when his eyes open and immediately lock on to yours. 
"Do you want me to give you one?" he asks. 
Your lips feel like they've been glued shut. You're aware of your breathing, how shallow each inhale has become, but you can't do anything about it. 
He has the decency to acknowledge what position his question puts you in, "I know it might be weird but I can't describe it to you if you don't know what it feels like." 
You surprise him. You surprise yourself. "Uh, yeah. Okay." 
"Yeah?" 
"It doesn't hurt?" 
"Not unless you want it to." A hint of a smirk plays on his lips, though it fades quickly. "It doesn't hurt. That's not the point. But it can feel… foreign." 
You nod jerkily, wishing you knew what to do. 
The atmosphere is thick enough to cut through. Neither of you like it. Eddie gives you another type of smile, a familiar one that says, I'm your best friend, I always will be, so please chill out. 
"You're gonna have to sit in my lap." 
You actually laugh. "Eddie," you chastise, thinking it's a bad joke. 
"Sorry, sweetheart, but it's that or the bed." His teasing tone is light, but he still adds, "I mean, we can do it sitting next to each other but it's difficult. Whatever you want, though." 
You climb up on your knees. You're shy, absolutely, you always will be and especially when Eddie's teasing, but he really is your best friend, and the bed isn't happening.
He doesn't scare you. 
He grins and ushers you toward him. "Alright, come here." He tugs one of your thighs over his lap and your breath catches. He grabs the other and any laughter between you abruptly dies. 
You settle over his lap with an expression not far from pained. Eddie's hands rest against your thigh and your hip. He has to look up at you now, and he does as he encourages your weight firmly downward. You're more than conscious of where you're positioned. 
"Do me a favour?" he asks. 
"Yeah." You put your hand on his chest tentatively. 
"Don't suffer through it if you hate it, okay? All you have to do is say something and I'll stop, but if you feel like you can't, a good right hook would work too." 
"I'm not gonna hurt you," you protest. 
"Me neither," he says. His hand lifts from your thigh to your neck, and he brushes his fingertips down the curve of it ineffectually. It would feel good if you weren't choking on air. "Relax, sweetheart. Please." 
"I'm really warm." 
"Your shirt's too tight anyway," he says, hand at your collar. He thumbs open your top button, a second, and exposes the flat of your chest. His fingers slide across your neck as he folds back your starched collar. They're cool compared to the raging heat he finds there. 
You take a deep breath. 
"You could put your hands in my hair," he says. Wishful thinking has hope colouring his tone. 
You put your hands on his shoulders. The very tips of your fingers partition his curls. 
He raises an arm above your mess of limbs to weave a hand behind your ear. It's then that you feel his callouses, so rough against the delicate skin of your scalp. Despite their texture, you find it feels good. He tucks his hand in tight, and slowly, slowly turns your head to the side. 
"Look up," he murmurs. 
You lift your head and stare at the ceiling with widened eyes. 
He can't know but he does, and he says, "Close your eyes." The heat of his breath kisses your neck.  
You shiver at the suggestion of his lips, and again when they press to your skin. Close-lipped, Eddie kisses the skin just under your ear where on the opposite side of your head his thumb strokes quarter circles. You're quickly overwhelmed by the duelling sensations. You don't notice his lips have parted until he's kissing a sloven path downward, his spit cooling in wake. 
This isn't a hickey, this is straight up kissing, and you don't know what to do with how you feel. You hide your hands in his hair. 
It tugs him forward. He reads your hands for enthusiasm, and if it is or isn't he pulls you closer still and opens his mouth against your skin. His teeth are impossible to ignore. 
Your hand works further into his hair, getting caught in a tangle as he sucks your skin between his lips. His lazy mouthing turns insistent but still gentle, his teeth scratching ever so slightly at your pulse as it capers beneath his ministrations. You gasp at the warmth blossoming under your ribs. You cup the back of his neck a touch too tight. 
He doesn't stop kissing you, only grabs your wrist to stop you from choking him out. You make a sound you've never made with him before, a mewl, all breathless and teary as the sensation worsens. Which is to say, betters. 
He breaks a particularly rough kiss to suck in breath, his nose sliding up the curve of your neck as he leans back. "You okay?" he murmurs, half-lidded eyes locking onto your flushed face. 
"Why does it feel like that?" you ask. 
He drops his head, his nose level with your chin. "I don't know," he says, punctuating with a kiss right there, the closest bit of skin he can find. "Want me to do it again?" 
You swallow and he must see it. He says nothing, wrapping his arms around your waist as he waits for you to respond. Your stomach pushes into his, your arms braced on his shoulder so you don't collapse into his front, limp with touch. 
"Sweetheart, can I do it again?" he asks.
"Yeah," you say, quiet but enthusiastic. "Please." 
He's slower this time. Eddie leans into your neck and doesn't kiss you at first, his lips so close to your skin that you can feel their phantom. You skin tingles from his previous scandalising, and it doesn't beg, skin can't beg, but you can, you curl your arm behind his neck and hook his head there, crushing his hair to the crook of your arm. He doesn't take much convincing beyond that. His lips smush against your neck and you feel every millimetre as they part, heat and warmth and wet spreading like budding flowers come to bloom. You melt into him soon after, and Eddie takes your weight in stride, hand at the small of your back and pulling you in so hard you can feel his ribs. 
When you think you're used to it —not used to it, but expecting what can be expected— Eddie nips you. Tiny dainty kisses broken up with a nibbling you'd couldn't describe as anything but playful. He laughs at your gasping and does it again, again, giddy hot laughter mixed with one of the strangest feelings you've ever been subjected to. You're molten. You're dizzy with it.
Eddie pulls back enough to ask, "I'm gonna undo another button, okay? Just one. Is that alright?" 
"What for?" 
"So I can kiss your shoulder. Just your shoulder." He sounds pleading, desperately excited in a way you've never heard him and you want to know what it'll feel like, so you let him. 
This next button unveils the top of your bra and the soft hills of your breasts. He doesn't look, barely glances at his hand as he tugs your shirts down your arm, diving into the juncture of your neck like he needs it to breathe. His kisses are proper compared to some of the stuff he's been doing, but then he opens his mouth and the flat of his tongue wets your skin as he kisses kisses kisses down your shoulder. His hand is somewhere under your shirt, fingers slipped under your bra strap and pulling teasingly at the elastic as he eases you down in his arms. You're shorter than him where you'd started taller, totally compressed in his arms and at his mercy.
When he pulls back, the slimmest ribbon of spit shines between your shoulder and his lips. He wipes his face with the back of his hand, his eyes glassy, and that hand cups your face. He pretty much grabs you, but there's not a lick of cruelty in his touch. Eddie's rough. Never cruel. 
"You're on fire," he says. It's objective rather than joking. "You're so hot. Do you want to stop?" 
"Not– not unless you want to," you say, trying to quieten your breathing. You sound like you've run a marathon. It feels like it. 
"I'm gonna give you a real one, cool?" 
"I didn't know they weren't real." 
"Oh, sweetheart," he says, and his eyes are damning, a loving pity in the black of his blown pupils, "I was just warming you up." 
Your mind blanks. 
"Make sure I can hide it," you say. 
You aren't thinking straight, concerned about hiding his hickeys but not what this means for the two of you. His unexpected hunger, and your willingness to let him eat you whole. 
"I don't think you can hide it anymore," he says, stroking your cheek with his thumb. 
You look down at his lips. They're rosy, swollen from the pressure.
He sees you looking. 
He yanks you in by the waist and sizes you up, almost, like he's calling your bluff, not spiteful but something mean about him as he stares at your mouth in return. 
Like he doesn't want you to make the mistake. Like he knows you won't. 
His hand tips your chin up high and he ducks his own down. An inch and you'd be kissing. That's all it would take.
"Is that really what you want?" he asks.
"I don't know," you say. Is it what he wants?
It has to be. 
"Have you wanted to, before?" He draws a line down your cheek with his marriage finger. Fast as a heavy tear. "You want me to kiss you?" 
"Yeah," you whisper, trying to make sense of this, your sudden confession, a secret want pushed into the light. 
Eddie turns his hand and strokes down your cheek with the back of it, pushing any dampened baby hairs away from your skin. His gaze softens. 
"Was that so hard?" he asks. 
"You knew?"
He kisses you. He's smiling, and he doesn't take just one. He must kiss you four or five times, your lips parted enough to know he could push it further if he wanted, but he doesn't. These kisses are unhurried, missing the ravenous passion of his hickeying but not the fondness. 
"You don't know how hard it is," he says after he's broken away, his forehead tipped against yours, "how hard it is to have someone look at you like you look at me everyday, like I'm something you can't have." 
"I didn't know–" you knew. You felt the same. His kissing is evidence alone. it's confessional.
"I know. Guess I thought nothing good would come of it, but– but I don't want good. I want you." 
He pulls back quickly, like you've said something confessional rather than him. He surprised himself. 
"I'm not good?" you ask. 
"You're good. You'll ruin me, that's all." 
You don't have time to ask him what he means by that. He kisses you again, kisses your cheek, draws a line of crescent moons down along your neck to the mess he's made of you. He kisses– he sucks your neck so hard, so sudden, that goosebumps erupt and you can't stop yourself from saying, "Ohh," as you cling to his shoulders. 
This is the vampire thing he'd talked about, the points of his teeth stark against your skin even now. There's another layer of vulnerability unveiled here, knowing that he could really hurt you and knowing he never would. He kisses you until you're overwhelmed by him. Heat everywhere. Sweat shining on your skin. You don't want anything else but this.
You squeak as the pressure turns from pleasurable to too much. Eddie hears the pain in it and pulls away, instantly sorry and willing to prove it, his hands cradling your face. 
You pant. He shushes you gently.
"Sorry, baby." He pets your cheeks. 
Your head falls back, too heavy on your sore neck. You feel wiped. 
Wiped, but good. Lax. 
"That was nice," you say breathlessly. 
Eddie sits up and drags you with him, hand behind your neck to prop you up. He's laughing again, his awful sweet laugh that you've heard a thousand times before. It never fails to make you smile. 
"You're like a dead fish." 
You cover an eye with your hand. "I take it the romance is over." 
"You thought that was romantic? Babe, I'm only getting started." 
Eddie gives you a quick peck. Where his hickey had felt like the heart of a star growing hotter with each passing second, his smaller kiss feels like the sun through blinds, a dappling of warmth. 
"Are you messing with me?" you ask.
He pushes his arms over your shoulders for a hug. 
"No. Not messing with you." His nose rubs against the shell of your ear. "It's about time we talked." 
You let your hand drift down the dip of his back.
"Okay," you mumble. Talking. You need to talk about whatever it is that just happened. 
"...Maybe I'll get you a glass of water first," he adds.
"That's a good idea." 
𓆩❤︎𓆪
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please consider letting me know/reblogging, it means the world to me and makes a big difference!! ♡ NOTE: Eddie def pines back if that isn't fully clear, I tried to imply it with his date where he could've hooked up with someone but didn't go through with it, it was cos he's too in lurve
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juney-blues · 7 days
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June Egbert is, and always has been incredibly fascinating to me because of just, how many factors have conspired to make Homestuck fans show their collective transmisogynistic asses.
The main character of Homestuck transitioning is a planned future plot point for the official continuation of homestuck, that was spoiled in advance by a fan making a joke about finding some toblerones Andrew Hussie the author of homestuck hid in a cave.
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The current main writers of Homestuck: Beyond Canon have went on record in an AMA confirming that this was indeed always the plan, even before they took up the project.
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In spite of these facts, the general consensus among certain homestuck fans seems to be that "June Egbert" is purely a headcanon for the original comic that was "made canon" by a "Toblerone Wish" (a concept that didn't even exist at the time)
For a variety of reasons, the "canonicity" of the postcanon official continuations of homestuck is a mattter of much debate, (though a debate that most homestuck fans seem to err on a side of "it's not canon at all in the slightest," something the writers have feelings on I'm sure.)
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All of these factors combined leave the concept of "June Egbert" in a very nebulous place. It's assumed by most to just be an "ascended headcanon" that was shoehorned in, it's a spoiler so it hasn't happened yet in any official media, and the official media it will eventually happen in is regarded by some to be nothing more than glorified fanfic.
If someone is talking about June Egbert, and you don't like the concept of June Egbert, you have your pick of a million different excuses for why she's fake and gay and not worth discussing and bad writing and just the authors doing a gay dumbledore*, paying lip service to representation while actually doing nothing.
And of course, lots of people *don't* like June Egbert! Rather than being introduced as transfem from the start, she's in this nebulous position of discovery where people have to truly reckon with the idea of a "Pre-transition Trans Woman."
You can try to write off *some* of the backlash as transphobia, because obviously not everyone in this fandom is gonna be cool about trans people.
But there's no shortage of fans just dying to tell you about how much they like reading her as transmasc, or the idea of her being nonbinary or genderqueer or genderfluid, or literally anything besides a trans woman. And since they're fine with all those other interpretations, there's obviously no implicit biases driving their distaste for the concept! (if you want to try explaining the concept of "transmisogyny" to people like this you're braver than I.)
you can trust them when they say it's *just* a problem with whether or not it makes sense with the writing, or it just doesn't feel right somehow, or any of the thousands of excuses that this writing situation gives them to just Not Like It.
It's just, so interesting to me. There's not a lot of characters out there that get a trans arc in this way, that leaves room for open denialism and insistence that we have our trans cake and eat it too... Because Homestuck is a timeline spanning multiverse story, lots of people seem to want it to be an alternate timeline thing. Assuring us we can have this character share space with a non-transitioning version of herself and it won't be weird or imply gross things about trans people.
If you ask me it feels like a plotline that'd be really good for exploring some gender horror though, finding your true self and then being demoted to a footnote, an alternate version, because everyone around you likes your pre-transition self more....
Anyway I have no broader point beyond "hey look at this isn't this kinda weird. You don't get this kinda stuff often!"
*side note: it's a little ghoulish I think to compare "a future trans plot point that hasn't been given the chance to even happen yet, in an already famously queer piece of media, from a nonbinary author" to "some stupid shit done by the literal most famous transphobe of all time" but that's perhaps a discussion for later.
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punksocks · 1 year
Text
Astrology Observation: No.24 (18+ Only)
No minors! Adults only pls
Just based on my opinions only take what resonates
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-Water moons/mars are the most likely to just say they love you during s*x (they may mean it too !); Can happen to fire moon/mars too but they may not mean it after the moment; Earth Moon/Mars will not be saying anything without planning well in advance (Earth moon AND Mars, you will not catch them slip lmao); I’d assume Air Moon/Mars would be the most likely to tease the other person(s) and say just about anything but I love you
-Venus aspects to Mars/ Taurus/Libra mars/ Venus and/or Mars in 2nd could really enjoy dressing up in lingerie and setting up a s*xy atmosphere in general (and your partner would enjoy this too !)
-1st/2nd /7th/8th house Venus, Scorpio Venus, Venus conjunct Pluto/ sometimes 12th house venus you may get compliments on your genitals from people during s*x (like told you have a pretty p*ssy lol yea fr)
-1st /8th house mars, Aries mars, Scorpio mars/Mars conjunct Pluto/sometimes 12th house mars would also be this for those in their masc energy (instead of pretty someone might admire the aggressive look of your junk instead)
-Imo the easiest sexual partners to discuss boundaries and such with will be partners that have easy (conjunct/trine/Sextile) mars aspects to your Mercury and/or moon
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-I know we’d assume that mars in 8th is the most s*xual but I’d argue that mars in 12th is also super s*xual. Intimacy tends to be heavy on the mind, and there’s a higher chance of mirroring s*xual energy back to others. Especially if the native acts out of their masc/mars energy
-i’d think Aries, Leo, and Scorpio mars would be the most into their partner being SO attracted to them they can’t keep their hands off of them and/or finish too fast (least likely with Scorpio unless you’re just really over stimulating them, most likely with Aries- the most veracious Aries mars go rounds imo)
-I’d argue and assume that air mars/3rd house mars are spacing out the hardest during s*x, and I bet it’s not on purpose (just bouncing between thoughts and coming back to what’s going on)(also if you keep their attention, you’re doing something right)
-Water mars could mean you sleep around for emotional validation (…Imma say it… cancer mars has the strongest chances lol)
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-I think your Venus and mars together can show if you’re more of a sub or dom imo (like if they’re both cardinal you’re probably a dom, if they’re mutable then you may be a switch/sub, and if they’re fixed I’d think you’d be hard set on being a sub or dom — and then results may vary depending on the combination of signs and how much of your feminine or masculine energy you act out of.)
-I think Scorpio Venus/Mars makes someone more dominant in s*x than Aries mars/Venus imo (they’re not here to win, they’re here to posses you- that’s so intense man)
-Understated praise kink placements? Virgo moon/mars. They need to hear praises for how well they did or they’re gonna overthink it. Libra/Taurus mars also would like this. And Venus square/opposition Mars would too in a tell me how much you want me sort of way (it makes them feel really desired)
-Tumblr ruined me bc now every time I look up a dudes birth chart and see Sagittarius mars/Jupiter positively aspecting mars I’m like damn, do they just have bde or actually have a big d*ck and I feel bad for guessing lmao but now it’s so automatic
-Strong Lilith placements (1st/7th/8th/10th) can show guys pressuring you to perform their like shadow side fantasies (which is not cool, because where’s the consent? We always need to discuss things beforehand and map out a plan otherwise it’s skeezy behavior -unless you’re into being surprised but even then lol)
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-Gemini placements (the big 6, but especially mars) make you louder in bed. And more open to trying new things and switching up positions.
-5th house synastry is really s*xy and fun. Some of the best dates and relationships imo. It also allows you to open up and experiment in a way you never have before. Can keep a long term relationship exciting as well depending on the overall synastry. (Be careful bc this is the pregnancy overlay too oml)
-I think north node in 5th can (depending on the sign and aspects ofc) can point to indulging in the senses, partying, breakin hearts and hookin up a bunch— especially if you’re unbalanced/still learning to balance this with your south node energy
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-(in sing songy voice) Scorpio synastry is someone telling you s*x with you makes them f*cking crazy (No they are not kidding ! Lilith synastry is this on steroids but it feels more like you’re lighting this fire in the more masc person - and they’re afraid of burning imo (I’m not singing any more lol)
-I hold to the fact that Lilith in 1st/7th/8th/10th can make someone jump into bed with you way faster than they usually would even if they have like an earth or water mars, if you have Lilith synastry with them this is amplified
-Masc folks/Men with Taurus and/or Cancer in their big 6 (especially mars/venus) are very attracted to women/femmes that are curvy and have an hourglass figure. Aries placements tend to be attracted to athletic figures. Leo placements are likely to jump at figures they find attention grabbing. Libra/Scorpio placement men are more likely to be attracted to figures that they’re socialized to find s*xy. I find that Sagittarius/Pisces is the least likely to have a set type. Aquarius and Gemini are also pretty dependent on personality and conversation skills.
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lunarmoves · 1 month
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"what." moon's voice is a low drone somewhere beneath you, vaguely amused. "are you doing?"
"nothing," you respond, a hint of a laugh in your voice as you press your cheek harder against him. you'd just gotten out of the shower, and the coolness of his smile is a stark relief against the warmth of your face.
"this is not nothing," comes his flat reply, and you feel the way his face tilts slightly. your head moves with the motion. slim, metal fingers come up to grab at your hips, pressing into the softness of your flesh. you can feel the way they flex slightly against you and have to suppress a snicker.
"i don't know what you're talking about," you say, arms wrapping tighter around his slim shoulders. you are precariously perched atop him, knees keeping you upright from where they are positioned on either side of his thighs. your chests are nearly pressed together, a breath of space between them.
he huffs. "your hair. is in my mouth."
"no it's not." you huff back and only press your face even harder against his static smile. "you can't even open your mouth."
"says who."
"says me." your voice is slightly muffled, yet his rings clear even with you splayed over him. echoing slightly in the moonlit space of your living room.
"will bite you one day," he retorts, and you can feel the way he sinks back into the armrest of the couch you're both on. it makes your own body lean deeper into his own, causes you to eventually sit atop his slim abdomen.
"will bite you one day," you mimic his voice, then decide his smile is not cool enough anymore to bring you relief. you pick your head up slightly and move upwards before resting your cheek back down on his faceplate. better.
"ow," moon immediately says without emotion. you bite at the inside of your lip to hold in a laugh. "my eye. ow."
"oh stop being such a baby," you say, squinting your eyes down at him—or what you can see of his face, anyways, with how close you are to him. "you can't feel pain in your eye."
"ow," he only repeats. "can't see. big head."
"you're the one with a big head."
moon makes an indignant sound. "unbelievable. first you obstruct my mouth. then my eye. now you say i have a big head? unforgivable."
"you'll survive," you giggle out, and moon only grumbles incoherently in a manner that you know is lighthearted. he gives your hips another gentle squeeze.
a silence—comfortable, relaxed—elapses between the two of you. it's fitting, with the late hour. you are growing ever more tired with each minute that ticks by, soothed by the quiet whirring you can hear coming from moon's internal fans. the way his face presses reassuringly back into your own. the warmth of his palms. a content sigh escapes your lips.
"do you think," you eventually murmur sleepily, dancing between consciousness and unconsciousness, "if i press you close enough, i could absorb you into my body?"
moon snorts and you smile with the absurdity of saying that question out loud. and yet, he indulges you.
"not doing it right," he tells you in a quiet voice, no louder than the ticking of the clock you can hear in the distance. you make a questioning sound. "here. like this."
and before you know what's happening, you feel your entire world flip.
your back comes into contact with the cushions of the couch, your eyes snapping open from where they'd been half-lidded. you are pressed into something soft yet firm, held tightly within sturdy arms that wrap firmly around your back. your legs automatically hook around his waist, ankles crossing.
you grin up at moon, the way he has pressed his face against yours—except, it's a little strange, with your nose poking up between the two of you. there's barely any contact between your faces apart from the tip of your nose and your forehead that he tilts his faceplate forward to meet with his own. it's silly, but you do not find yourself minding. ruby light washes over your cheeks from his optics, warm and all-encompassing.
like this, moon's lithe body covers your own completely, your arms dangling over his shoulders as he gives you a gentle squeeze. "see? now i can absorb you."
"yeah," you breathe softly into the minute space between your face and his, a grin mirrored back at you. you give him a gentle squeeze back. "just like this."
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smileysuh · 1 year
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rogue
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🌙 staring. Wonwoo x afab!Reader
🔮 preview. “Lay back,” he instructs next. “I’m going to take your panties off.” Your heart races in your chest as you realize what he’s about to do, and you fall onto your elbows on the hood of his car, breathing heavily as Wonwoo leans down and begins to press kisses up your bare legs. His fingers hook in your panties, and he drags them down, exposing your hot core to the cool evening air. You can’t help the gasp that leaves you, and as Wonwoo positions your thighs over his broad shoulders, you think you might actually faint from the tension.
tw/cw. protected sex, pussy eating, blow job, deep throating, swallowing, oral (f/m receiving), exhibitionism (sex at a lover's lookout on the hood of his car), multiple sex scenes, Wonwoo's broad shoulders #confirmed, teasing through panties, hair pulling, breast worship, mutual orgasm, night terrors, mentions of a bad past, cuddling, etc… I pet names: (hers) angel.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 15.5k I collab. 70's collab
🍭 aus. 70's au, strangers to lovers, slow burn, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. I've been missing Wonwoo, and when his spot in the collab was open, I figured why not?
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It’s an hour into the date and you already wish you’d stayed at home. A walk through the town followed by bowling had sounded like a great way to get to know the location you’ve just moved to- however, the guy showing you around is something of a wet towel.
He looks cute enough, but then again, your housemate had promised he would. His name is Carter, and he’s just over six feet tall, with blonde hair, a worn jean jacket, and a nice smile. You’ve tried to give him the benefit of doubt, you really have, but there are some guys you simply can’t force a spark with, and unfortunately, he’s one of them.
When you reach the bowling alley, Carter holds the door open for you, and you flash him a small smile, entering the space. 
“Are you excited?” your roommate, Mary, asks. She links her arm with yours, stepping away from her own date to give the boys a moment to talk by the front door while she drags you further into the establishment.
“For bowling?” You look around. “Sure.”
“Carter’s nice, isn’t he?” she presses.
You sigh. “Sure.” 
Movement catches your attention, and your gaze shifts to a man working behind the shoe counter. He’s in a dark green sweater, and his black hair shines in the light of the bowling alley. Now he is someone who interests you, and you find yourself tugging on Mary.
“Let's grab shoes,” you tell her. 
“Welcome to the bowling alley,” the worker greets you with a smile, and you find that his face is even more handsome while lit up with a friendly expression. “Have you two been here before?”
“I have,” Mary answers for you. “But she’s new to town, so this is her first time.” Your housemate nudges your shoulder and you swallow thickly, nodding.
“It can’t be much different from the bowling alleys in my last city,” you offer.
“You’re right about that,” the pretty man nods. “What size shoe can I grab you?”
You and Mary give him your sizes and he leans down, retrieving the shoes from under the counter. When he passes them over to you, your fingers briefly touch, and your gaze darts up to meet his own. 
There’s a very brief pause, a frozen moment that feels like forever, and then he’s tugging his fingers away. 
“How much do we owe you?” Mary asks. “For a game?”
“You two are on a double date, aren’t you?” the man asks.
“How could you tell?” you laugh, feeling a little dejected that being out with Carter might dissuade this pretty man in front of you from seeing you as a girl who’s on the market, which you most definitely are.
“I can always tell these sorts of things,” the worker grins. “I’ll let your dates pay when they stop talking by the door and come for shoes.”
“You’re new in town too, right?” Mary asks suddenly, eying the man behind the counter up and down.
“How could you tell?”
“I feel like I’d remember you,” Mary insists. “Besides, most of the guys in this town would have let us pay. You strike me as a good one, someone not from here.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” the worker nods.
“What’s your name?” you ask suddenly, feeling the urge to know it, if even to know him better.
“Wonwoo,” he says, and suddenly coming out tonight feels like the best possible thing you could have done with your time. 
You tell him your own name, and he smiles softly at you.
“Enjoy your date,” Wonwoo muses, nodding to the two men who have now come to grab their own shoes.
It sucks to be reminded that you are, in fact, on a date with Carter even while partially drooling over Wonwoo. With a small sigh, you follow Mary to one of the free alleys. There are new mechanized automatic scorer machines, and Mary types in the nickname ‘Baby’ for herself, before nudging you to write in your own. 
“Choose something cute,” she tells you, watching over your shoulder.
You punch in the nickname ‘Angel’ and she nods, satisfied. 
“Now for Carter, put in Big Guy, and my date should be named Handsome,” Mary insists.
“Are you sure they won’t want to choose their own nicknames?” you ask.
“Who cares what they want?” she shrugs. “I think they’ll like these names.”
With a sigh, you do as you’re told. Your dates approach, and you all slip on your shoes, slotting your discarded runners under the bench you’re sitting on while Mary stands up to bowl first.
It’s a nice establishment, and there’s a Beatles record playing that gives the space a nice ambiance. However, no matter how hard you try, your attention keeps slipping back to Wonwoo.
He’s seated in his little work table station, and you catch him staring back at you a few times when you try to casually look over your shoulder at him. 
When Carter moves closer,  resting his arm around you, your gaze is quick to dart to Wonwoo, who laughs, looking down at the makeshift paper airplane he’s playing with in his hands.
You get the sense that he’s amused by your interactions with Carter, who lays on the affection more and more as the date continues. In fact, Carter even stands up to show you how to bowl properly, and despite your attempts to squash his so-called ‘help’ he still ends up flattening against your back and guiding you on how to hold your arm when you toss the ball down the lane.
You’re starting to have enough of Carter, and the temptation to go talk to the person you’re really interested in gets the better of you. “Do you guys want drinks?” you ask, addressing your foursome.
“A coke!” Mary chips. 
“Make that two,” says her date.
“How about four?” Carter asks, pulling out his wallet to hand you a bill. “Unless you want me to come with you to grab them?”
“No, it’s your turn to bowl. I’ll manage,” you assure him.
He gives you a look that tells you he doesn’t quite believe you, but you’re already running away with his money in your hand. Your eyes are fixed on Wonwoo, who straightens up as you approach.
“Did I hear something about four cokes?” he asks.
“You have good ears,” you muse, nodding. “And yeah, four cokes sounds good.”
“Coming right up,” he smiles, heading from the shoe area to the location they keep beverages. There’s another worker in that section, but he’s so busy playing crossword he doesn’t even look up when Wonwoo begins messing around and grabbing glasses.
“So…” you watch the gorgeous man work, enjoying the way he pushes up his sleeves, revealing strong forearms. “Looks like we’re both new in town.”
“Looks that way,” he agrees. 
“How are you liking it?”
“You know, the Pacific Northwest is never somewhere I thought I’d end up,” he admits, looking at you while filling the cups with coke. 
“Really?” You assess him up and down. “Are you not a big fan of trees, mist, and small mountain towns?”
“Not a fan of mosquitos,” Wonwoo grins.
“Okay, now that I can understand,” you laugh. 
“How’d you end up here?”
“I’m not sure,” you say honestly. “I’d driven through this place a few times, and when I decided I needed to get away from my parents, it felt like a good intermediary location.”
“So you’re not planning on staying here forever?” Wonwoo cocks his head.
“Definitely not.”
“Does that big guy you’re on a date with realize this isn’t a forever thing?” 
You let out a small laugh, turning to look at Carter, who is glaring daggers at Wonwoo. “My date’s not even a this week thing,” you admit.
“No?” At this point, you think Wonwoo is purposefully taking his time filling the cups, and you enjoy getting to chat with him. “Why’s that?”
“He’s not my type.”
“He’s tall, blonde, buys you things, holds doors open, offers to show you how to bowl…” Wonwoo counts up Carter’s virtues. “Sounds like the kind of guy any girl in this town would die for.”
“And you’re an expert on what women want?” You cock a brow at the worker. 
“I guess not,” Wonwoo admits. “You tell me then, what’s your type?”
You think on it for a moment, then grin. “Cute guys, with dark hair, who wear soft looking sweaters, and work in bowling alleys.”
There’s a beat of silence, and Wonwoo simply stares at you. Then he swallows thickly, and you watch his adam’s apple bob with effort. “Can I take you out sometime?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
“I’ll just need to grab your landline number-” Wonwoo begins to explain, but you’re already reaching for a napkin.
“Pen?”
“One sec,” Wonwoo turns and plucks the pencil out of his coworker’s hand, and the man looks up from his crossword in shock. “I’ll give this right back,” Wonwoo promises before handing it to you.
You scribble down your landline number. “I live in a house with two other girls, so you’ll have to ask for me by name,” you explain, signing the napkin just in case he forgets.
“You got it,” Wonwoo grins, accepting your number when you’re finished with it. 
“I work evenings,” you explain, “so call in the afternoon, okay?”
“Definitely.” He grabs two of the drinks. “Now let me help you carry these back to your friends.”
“You’re quite the gentleman, aren’t you?” you smile, picking up the other two cups and beginning to walk back to your bowling lane while Wonwoo follows.
“Sometimes,” he muses. “I try.”
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It’s been less than twenty four hours since Wonwoo met you and he’s already feeling eager to call. His shift is going slow, and as noon rolls around, he finds himself inching closer to the telephone. 
The napkin with your digits is practically burning a hole into his pocket and he pulls it out gingerly, careful not to damage it in any way.
“I’m gonna take a five minute break,” Wonwoo calls to his workmate, who simply nods while completing his crossword. Wonwoo doubts anyone will come in while he does this, but at the same time, he’s not looking to get fired from this shitty job anytime soon.
He begins to dial your number into the phone that hangs on the wall behind the till, and when he’s done, he presses the handset to his ear. His fingers begin to play with the wirey chord, and he looks down at his shoes while it rings.
“Hello?” a feminine voice answers, and Wonwoo is quick to realize it’s not you on the other end of the line.
“Uh, hi,” Wonwoo clears his throat. “I’m calling for y/n?”
“One second,” the girl on the line yells your name loudly and Wonwoo nearly drops the phone from the shrill noise of it all. “Oh, and who’s calling?”
“Tell her it’s the bowling alley guy,” Wonwoo says dumbly. He’s not sure if you’ll remember his name, and he wants to make things easy for you.
“Bowling alley guy?!” The woman sounds excited. “I met you last night! I knew y/n was flirting with you- I knew it!”
“Uh… yeah?” Wonwoo’s really not sure what to say to women most days, let alone during a conversation like this one.
“Poor Carter,” the woman sighs. “He’s going to be devastated.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Wonwoo lies. He thinks it feels like the right thing to say, so he says it. 
“Mary, give me the phone.” Now that is your voice, and Wonwoo perks up, holding his breath while he hears a murmured exchange. “Wonwoo?”
“Hey,” he smiles. “Uh, yeah, it’s me.”
“You work fast, don’t you.” He can hear the grin in your own voice and it makes his widen.
“I’m not the kind of guy who plays games or anything,” Wonwoo tells you honestly. “I was really happy to get your number, so I thought I’d call.”
“I’m glad you did.”
There’s a pause while Wonwoo builds up his courage.
He’s done many things in his life, things that people would say were much harder than asking a girl out, and yet, he finds himself becoming tongue tied just talking to you. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and counting to three, like they’d taught him how to do in the military before doing anything that might be considered drastic.
“Are you still interested in going out sometime?” he asks. 
“I’d love to.”
His heart skips a beat.
“What were you thinking of doing together?” you question.
He had definitely not thought that far ahead, but he can’t back down now. He scrambles for date ideas, and the first one in his head is, “How about I take you to a roller rink.”
“A roller rink, huh?” You let out a small laugh and he worries he’s suggested the wrong thing.
“We can do something else if you want,” he immediately back pedals.
“No, a roller rink is good,” you assure him. “But I can’t promise I’ll be any good at it.”
“Well… you can hold onto me if you’re afraid you’re going to fall.”
“You know what? I just might,” you giggle again and the sound makes his entire body buzz with happy energy.
He’d never thought when he moved to this stupid small town in the Pacific Northwest that he’d meet a girl like you, and he hardly even knows you yet. 
Wonwoo truly can’t explain his attraction to you- it’s simply a feeling he has. Sure, you’re gorgeous, but there’s something deeper, something he can’t put his finger on. He wants to figure you out, and he can’t wait to discover what makes you tick.
“When are you free?” Wonwoo asks.
“Well, it’s Monday now, let me just check my schedule again,” you’re silent for a moment except the sound of a paper flipping. “I generally work Friday through Tuesday, so how about we say Wednesday or Thursday?”
“Wednesday works,” Wonwoo says, pulling out a pen to write it into his own schedule book he keeps in his back pocket.
“Are you that eager to see me?” 
He can hear your smile again, and he can visualize it in his minds eye. God, you’re beautiful.
“Maybe,” he admits. “For a town that mostly gets rain, it’s nice to see a little sunshine every now and again.”
The line is quiet, and he worries again if he’s said the wrong thing. Then you let out a shaky laugh. “You’re quite the charmer, aren’t you?”
“Not usually,” Wonwoo says seriously.
“No?” you tease. “So you don’t use your job as a place to hit on girls?”
“Never.”
“That’s good to hear.” 
“What time should we meet? Or do you want me to pick you up?” Wonwoo is simply eager to get the details solidified in his notebook, to get things written in stone so to speak.
“I live close to the roller rink, so how about we meet there? Does seven sound okay?”
“Works for me,” he nods, eyes shifting to the front door of the bowling alley where a customer has just walked in. “Look, I gotta go-”
“Me too, have a good shift Wonwoo. I’ll see you Wednesday.”
He can’t fucking wait.
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You’d chosen one of your cutest outfits. Mary had even whistled when you left your room in the denim pantsuit number, her eyes skimming down to the flared pant legs. “So this is what you wear when you really like a guy,” she’d mused. 
You’d done a small twirl, showing off how great the pants make your bum look, and she’d warned you that if Wonwoo got handsy, he’d have her to deal with.
“He’ll be fine,” you’d assured her. “He’s a nice guy.”
“You don’t even know him,” she’s pointed out, and you suppose there’s truth to that. However, at the same time, you just feel like Wonwoo’s not someone who’s a threat, not to you anyways.
He seems like a nice guy, a genuinely nice guy, and excitement surges through you as you make your way to the roller rink.
Wonwoo meets you outside, and you note the way his eyes widen as he looks you up and down. He has the decency to make the motion quick, and you think it must be an automatic reaction, one he’s even ashamed of, because his cheeks flare a pretty pink colour.
He’s absolutely adorable. 
Like Carter had, Wonwoo pulls out all the stops. He holds the door open to the rink for you, and pays the small fee to enter. The two of you trade your shoes over and he even bends down to help you tie up the laces on your roller blades, checking to make sure they’re not too tight.
“Have you don’t this before?” he asks as you rise on shaky legs.
“Once,” you admit, noting the steadiness he has in his form. “Have you?”
“Never, but I’ve got good balance,” Wonwoo smiles softly at you.
“I’ll say,” you laugh, shocked at how well he’s holding himself up while you’re wobbling already. 
“Here,” he holds out his hand, and you take it, grateful at the extra stability you gain by having him next to you. The two of you make your way to the side of the roller rink and you watch couples going around in circles. 
“Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” you sigh, feeling overwhelmed by the speed and ease at which the other people are moving.
“You can do it,” Wonwoo assures you. “I won’t let you fall.”
“Promise?” You squeeze his hand.
“Promise.” He squeezes yours back, and then he takes a step onto the rink, looking back at you.
You take a deep breath before following him, grabbing at his arm with your free hand. The rink is much more slippery than the carpeted floors had been, and you marvel again at Wonwoo’s balance.
“Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” you ask in shock.
“Positive,” Wonwoo grins.
“I don’t believe you,” you laugh, letting him pull you along as you get the hang of being on roller skates.
“You don’t have to believe me,” Wonwoo muses, turning so he can hold both your hands. He’s moving backward now, and you think he must be lying to you. “You just have to focus on your feet.”
“While you focus on what? You’re skating backwards!”
“I’m focusing on you,” Wonwoo says softly, flashing you a small smile. 
“You and your charming words again,” you shake your head, enjoying the way he makes you feel.
“Only for you,” Wonwoo muses, guiding you around the roller rink. “Look, now that you’re not thinking about it so hard, you’re doing better.”
“I’m doing better because I’m holding both of your hands and you’re steadying me,” you counter.
“Take your small win,” Wonwoo advises you. 
“No,” you say stubbornly.
He only laughs at your antics. “Do you think you can do it with one hand again?”
You consider letting go of his fingers, and part of you doesn’t want to, but you know he should probably be skating next to you again, watching where he’s going, so you concede. “Fine.” 
“How often do people usually skate for?” Wonwoo asks suddenly.
“Are you bored already?” you laugh. “We just got here!”
“Not bored,” he smiles. “Just thinking that it would be nice to go grab milkshakes after this.”
“That would be nice,” you admit. “How about this, I’ll tell you when my legs start to hurt and we can go then? Or if I fall, I think we should call it quits.”
“Deal,” Wonwoo laughs. “Although, I hope you know, I’d never let you fall.”
He squeezes your hand gently, and your heart thumps loudly in your chest.
Wonwoo is such a charmer, but you don’t mind one bit.
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You find yourself in a diner not an hour later, and your thighs are burning from the roller skating exercise you’d not been used to. “Are you more into chocolate, or vanilla?” Wonwoo asks suddenly, his gaze fixed on the menu in front of him. 
“I like them both, what do you think we should get?” 
He looks up. “You mean… we’re going to share one?”
“Were you thinking of ordering two?”
“I mean…” his skin flushes that pretty shade of pink and he lets out a small cough. “I uh…”
“We can order our own,” you tell him, wanting to smooth the miscommunication over. 
“No, we should share one,” he insists, looking determined. “Whatever flavour you want.”
“Are you sure?” you cock a brow at him, and he gives you a curt nod, jaw set.
The waitress shows up and you order your favourite milkshake. Wonwoo fiddles with the menu that’s been left on the table and you take the opportunity to assess him.
He’s a bit of an enigma. 
He’d seemed so confident when you’d first met him at the bowling alley, but now that you’re on a date with him, he has these shy moments. He’s endearing, and you can feel yourself falling for him, which is kind of scary to admit to yourself.
The milkshake is set between you, two straws sticking out of the whipped cream topping. 
“Thank you,” Wonwoo says politely to the waitress, who simply nods and scurries away, giving you some privacy for your date.
You and Wonwoo move toward the straws at the same time, and your hands brush as you both reach for the cold glass.
“Oh,” Wonwoo immediately retracts his hand. “Sorry, you go first.”
“You’re cute,” you tell him. “Don’t you want to sip together?”
“Can we do that?”
“Of course, silly,” you laugh. “Come on, lean in.”
He eyes you as if you’re tricking him, but after a breath, he follows through. You both lean over the table, and you reach for your straw, bringing it to your lips while Wonwoo does the same.
He’s so close to you, and he’s even prettier at this short distance. His eyelashes are particularly enthralling, and his dark brown eyes look rich and warm in the diner’s light. 
Wonwoo’s gaze dips down, and you watch him try to hide a smile while you both take your first sips of the milkshake.
Then, you’re pulling away again, and Wonwoo’s reaching a hand to rub the back of his neck. “I have to admit,” he sighs, “I don’t do this often.”
“What, date?” you cock your head to the side, assessing him.
“Uh… yeah,” he nods. 
You’re a little shocked at how a guy as cute as he is can get through life without being asked on numerous dates a week. “Are you not looking for a relationship, or…?”
“It’s not that,” Wonwoo assures you, swallowing thickly. “It’s just, my last job made it sort of impossible.” 
“Yeah? And what job was that?” you ask, taking another sip of your milkshake.
Wonwoo lets out another chuckle, but this one isn’t very humorous. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”
“Wow, a mystery boy- it wouldn’t have to do with an underground cartel working out of a bowling alley would it?” you tease.
“Definitely not,” he smiles. 
“Are you really not going to tell me?”
“Not tonight,” he shakes his head, and you realize there’s no use pressing him on this.
“But maybe another night?”
“Maybe,” he nods. 
“Then let's talk about something other than work,” you suggest. “Have you gone fishing around here? I know this town has some really good rivers and lakes in the forest around here.”
“I’m not a fisherman,” he tells you.
“Do you not have the patience for it?”
“Not the patience so much as the willingness to hurt the fish.”
“I’ve heard it doesn't hurt them.”
“Sure you have,” Wonwoo smiles to himself. “Also, I don’t eat fish, so it would be a waste.”
You like getting to know him. He’s a peculiar man, and every detail you find out only makes you more interested.
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After your milkshake, Wonwoo had insisted on walking you home. “You never know what creeps are out at night,” he’d told you, wrapping his jacket around your shoulders to protect you from the September air.
You’d talked about books, schooling, hobbies and such, and Wonwoo had been the one asking you the majority of the questions as you’d slowly made your way home. He’s even more secretive than you’d initially realized, and you wonder what details you’re even going to give your friends when you debrief them on the date later.
“So this is mine,” you say when you come to a stop in front of your rental house.
“Can I walk you to your door?”
You look up at your home then back at the pretty man. “I don’t see why not.”
You notice his ears are flushed, and you get a sense that he might try to kiss you. Each step towards your door feels like an eternity, and your heart is racing in your chest. 
Coming to a stop on your doormat, you turn to look at Wonwoo. “I should give you your coat back.”
“Keep it for next time.”
“There’s going to be a next time?” You cock a brow.
“There better be,” he laughs. “Unless.. Unless you don’t want to go out again?”
“I’d love to see you again,” you assure him. Your gaze shifts down to his mouth and you find yourself licking your lip, biting it between your teeth as you wait for him to make a move.
You notice that his eyes are also shifting down, and you hold your breath.
He leans forward-
The door to your home is thrown open and Mary is standing there. 
Wonwoo practically jumps away from you, and Mary grins wickedly. “Look what the cat dragged in,” she smirks.
You sigh. “Mary this is Wonwoo, Wonwoo you’ve met Mary.”
“Right, yeah, of course,” he nods. “How’s your night been?”
“Not as good as yours it looks like,” Mary says sassily. “We’ve been waiting on our third to watch a girls movie, unless she was about to invite you in.”
“Mary,” you whisper a warning.
“Looks like you’ve had no such luck, pal,” Mark laughs. “Thanks for walking her home.” She grabs your hand and tugs you into the house. 
“I’ll call you,” Wonwoo promises. 
You push Mary into the hallway before leaning out the door, getting close to Wonwoo again. “You better,” you smile, a sudden rush of courage surging through you as you lean forward to press your lips to his cheek. “Goodnight.”
He’s smiling as you pull away, and you’re struck by how beautiful he is. “Goodnight,” he echos.
“Get home safe,” you warn.
“I always do.”
You watch him walk away, and he stops on the sidewalk, turning to give you one last wave before you close your door.
“He’s cuter than Mary said,” your third roommate, Jessica, notes from the living room as she watches him head down the street.
“He’s very cute,” you agree, tugging his jacket tighter around your form. 
“Are you two having another date?”
“Yup-” you suddenly realize you’d never gotten his number. Which means Wonwoo truly has complete control of contacting you again.
The jacket still wrapped around you is something like insurance that he will call, but you’re a touch saddened that you’ll have to wait for him to find the time to reach out.
He’s a good one, and you really don’t want to let him off the hook just yet.
“So tell us about your date!” Mary grins, jumping onto the couch. “Is Carter really out of the running?”
“Carter has nothing on Wonwoo,” you laugh. 
“I really don’t see how that’s possible-”
“Mary, if you like Carter so much, you should date him yourself,” you point out. “I don’t know, Wonwoo is just- he’s a good guy. I really enjoyed being out with him. He held me up at the roller rink and we shared a milkshake-”
“That’s original,” Mary scoffs.
“It was cute!” you insist. “I need a bit of cute in my life,” even if he does joke about having to kill you if he tells you about his last job. 
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When your phone had rung at noon on Thursday, you’d jumped at the idea it might be Wonwoo, but it had only been the diner you work at, asking if you could cover a shift.
You suppose you need the money, but as you manage the small dinner rush, you find it hard to take your mind off of Wonwoo. You keep replaying the small moments in your head, how he’d held both your hands to help you rollerblade, moving effortlessly backward, or how you’d both leaned in for the milkshake, noses almost touching.
The kiss that could have been feels fresh in your mind, and you’d given Mary a royal talking to about opening the door at the moment she had.
What would he have tasted like if you had kissed him? Would his lips have been as soft as they look? Would he have grabbed your hips and tugged you close to his chest?
You’re so busy thinking about Wonwoo that you almost don’t realize he’s walking past your diner until he comes to a stop, staring at you through the window while you take a couple’s order.
You nearly drop your notepad, only to snap yourself out of it and finish scribbling two burgers with extra cheese. “Can I grab you anything else?” you ask, forcing your gaze to shift to the customers. 
“That’s it for now,” the man smiles, and you scurry off to give the cook the order.
Your back is to the front door of the diner, but when you hear the bell ring, you know what you’ll find when you turn around.
Wonwoo looks a little windswept, and he’s wearing glasses today. 
He looks so handsome you could die.
“Hi,” you smile, approaching him and fidgeting with your apron. 
“Hi,” he grins. “I didn’t know you worked here.”
“Do you come here often?”
“Sometimes, usually on Thursdays, which, now that I think of it, didn’t you say you weren’t working tonight?”
“You have a good memory,” you breathe. “I uh, picked up a shift.”
“I’m glad I walked by, I was almost going to skip coming in and get a burger from the joint down the road.”
“Andy’s Burgers?” you ask in shock. “No, no, no, you have to have one of ours. They’re much better.”
“I wasn’t planning on sitting in to eat, but what the hell, can I grab a booth?”
“Of course,” you wave at the open seating. “Anywhere you’d like.”
“Thanks,” Wonwoo smiles at you, turning to slip into one of the blue and white coloured booths. 
You’re quick to go grab him a menu, and you scurry over, heart racing in your chest. “So how’s your night going?”
“Better now,” he grins. “I actually uh, called you an hour ago, and no one answered-”
“We’re all working tonight,” you muse.
“I’m glad I caught you.” There’s a sincerity in his words and it makes your skin heat. “I probably shouldn’t be asking you about this while you’re at work-”
“Ask anyways.”
“How do you feel about going for a drive on our next date? I promise I’m not a serial killer or anything.”
There have been a string of unsolved murders lately, and you’d be lying if you said they weren’t concerning you, but at the same time, the missing women are half a country away, in New York. 
You cock your head, assessing Wonwoo. “Are you sure about that, mister ‘if I told you about my last job I’d have to kill you’?”
“You know what, fair, out of context, that sounds very ominous-”
“I trust you,” you insist. “A drive would be great.”
“How do you feel about Sunday?”
“Sunday works, I get off at eight.”
“Perfect.” Wonwoo plays with the menu in front of him. “Should I pick you up here or at your place?”
“Let’s say eight thirty at my place, I want to get dressed up for you.”
Wonwoo grins, gaze shifting down at the table. He pushes his glasses up his nose, then he eyes you again. “I think you always look pretty.”
“Really? Is this a nice apron?” You tug at the material wrapped around your waist and Wonwoo’s grin widens.
“The nicest apron I’ve ever seen.” 
“I’ll send my manager your regards,” you tease. “What can I get you for dinner?”
“A bacon cheeseburger, please.”
God, you love a man with manners.
“Any drink?”
“Just water, thanks.”
“The burger comes with fries, is ketchup okay?”
“It’s perfect.”
“I’ll be back with your order shortly,” you smile, finishing up on your notepad.
“Take your time,” Wonwoo assures you.
As you move away to the kitchen to put the order in the window, you get the suspicion that Wonwoo’s watching your ass. Hell, you hope he’s checking you out. 
With so few people in the restaurant, and burgers being a fairly fast food menu item, you find yourself serving the couple their dinner in no time. It’s almost torture to not look over at Wonwoo, to know he’s watching you work.
You bring him his water and you take the opportunity to chat with him again. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”
“I usually wear contacts,” he tells you.
“Right, I heard about that new brand that came out. Are they any good?”
“I could see you pretty well last night with them in,” Wonwoo smiles.
“Good. That outfit was meant to be seen.”
“It sure was.” 
Flattery will get him everywhere- but before you can say anything else, the kitchen bell dings, signifying an order is up. When you turn your head, you see Wonwoo’s burger sitting in the window. “I’ll be right back with your food,” you assure him, scurrying off.
As you’re bringing Wonwoo his plate, a family enters the diner. Your attention is effectively transferred to them, no matter how much you wish you could just watch Wonwoo devour his burger and thirst for him.
The two adults and their three kids are very rowdy, and you bring over some colouring sheets with crayons, as well as a tray of water in plastic cups. Your focus shifts between Wonwoo and the family while they look over the menus, and when they put them down, you head over again, notepad in hand.
By the time you’re done taking their very complicated and long order, Wonwoo’s finishing up his meal, licking his fingers clean in a way that makes you salivate as you run to the kitchen to quickly give the chef the new list of food.
“Can I leave the money on the table?” Wonwoo calls, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.
“I’ll be right there-”
“I’ve got somewhere to be,” he says, casually tossing a few bills onto the counter. “Thanks, y/n.”
“Bye, Wonwoo.” You hate watching him leave, but as you approach his table, you find he’s left you a very generous tip.
When you head back to the kitchen window, the chef leans through. “You know that guy?” he asks.
“Yeah. I hear he’s a bit of a regular here?”
“Started coming in two months ago,” the chef nods. “He’s a little weird.”
“Weird?” you cock your head to the side, watching the chef flip burgers. “How so?”
“He only ever comes in alone, usually just orders a black coffee, and watches other customers. I don’t know how you talked him into getting a burger today, but… yeah, a little off.”
You assess the chef. While he seems like a good guy, you wonder if there are any other biased reasons he might be rubbed the wrong way by Wonwoo. 
“I think Wonwoo’s just…” you search for the word to defend him, “unique. He’s really nice, when you start to get to know him.”
“I hope you’re right about that,” the chef sighs. “If things don’t work out and you need someone to tell him, or any man, to back off, just let me know.”
“Thanks, chef,” you smile. “I’ll let you know if I need your help.”
You think maybe the chef is simply worried about you as a young woman entering the town’s dating pool with very little experience. 
However, when it comes to Wonwoo, you’re pretty sure you have nothing to worry about.
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You’ve decided to wear an orange floral boho style dress for your second date with Wonwoo. It reaches your mid thigh, and when you do a twirl for your roommates, Mary starts to scream about how beautiful you are.
“You’re going to give that boy a heart attack,” Jessica grins.
“Or a boner,” Mary agrees.
“Lets try for both,” you tease, gaze shifting out the front window just in time to see a car pull up. “I think that’s him!”
Your roomates jump up to get a look outside, and Jessica frowns. “I don’t know why, but I didn’t picture him as a 1966 Chrystler Imperial kind of guy.”
“Yeah, for some reason I thought he’d have a nicer muscle car.”
“Don’t be rude,” you remind Jessica. “And to be fair, he did just move here, muscle cars have limited room- I bet he has a car like this for the space.”
“Because you know him so well after only one date,” Mary rolls her eyes.
“You know what?” You grab your keys and head to the door, throwing Wonwoo’s jacket around your shoulders. “I do!”
Without another word to your roommates, you head outside, practically jumping down the steps. Wonwoo’s exited his car by now, and he’s come around to lean against the passenger’s side door, which he opens for you upon approach.
“Hi,” he grins.
“Hi!” you echo, throwing your arms around his shoulders to pull him into a hug.
His hands are hesitant, but they settle on your hips, holding you tighter. You take a deep breath, enjoying the embrace, and his woodsy scent washes over you. 
“So where are we driving to?” you ask when you pull away.
“One of my coworkers said there’s this nice spot, I thought I’d take you there,” Wonwoo suggests. It’s so very vague, and so very Wonwoo. 
“Works for me,” you grin, allowing him to take your hand and help you into the car.
As you close your door, you notice Wonwoo waving at your roommates who are staring from the living room window. Jessica immediately ducks down and you laugh to yourself.
“The girls you live with seem nice,” Wonwoo notes as he enters the driver’s seat.
“They’re alright,” you smile. “Do you have any roommates?”
“No, I live alone.”
“That must be nice.”
“It’s quiet.”
“Are you the kind of guy that likes the quiet?”
Wonwoo considers your question for a moment. “I used to be. But some days, it can be lonely.”
It’s the first time he’s really gotten deep with you. He’s being vulnerable, and your breath catches in your throat.
You reach out and rest your hand on top of his on the gear shift, giving him a gentle squeeze. “If you ever need company, you know where to find me.”
“I might take you up on that,” Wonwoo flashes a small smile, but you can tell it’s an aversion tactic. You don’t mind dropping the topic, and you take your hand away, looking at the road.
Wonwoo’s pulled off the main street and is heading up one of the dirt roads that leads into the forest. It’s a path you know well, and your heart thumps when you realize where Wonwoo must be taking you.
“Are we going to Hellyhill Lookout?” you ask softly.
“Uh huh, have you been?” Wonwoo sneaks a glance at you.
“Not personally, no, but I’ve heard it’s nice.”
“Okay,” he nods. “Good.”
“Do you…” you lick your lip. “Did your coworker tell you what kind of lookout it is?”
“What do you mean?”
You can’t help but let out a small laugh, and you enjoy the switchbacks of the road, the way the tall trees fly past. “It’s a lover’s lookout.”
“A lover’s lookout,” Wonwoo repeats.
“You know, a place that teens drive to so they can make out in their cars?”
Wonwoo practically chokes on air, and his grip tightens on the steering wheel. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t know-”
“Don’t be sorry,” you try to assure him, but he’s already beginning to blush.
“We can go somewhere else-”
“Really,” you reach for his hand again, “Wonwoo, it’s fine.”
“I can’t believe my coworker would suggest this-”
You can tell that your words aren’t helping his anxiety, so you lean over the bench seat, pressing your lips to his cheek. He freezes under the motion. “Wonwoo,” you whisper again, “I want to go to a lover’s lookout with you. Stop panicking, please.” 
He takes a shuddery breath. “Okay.”
You look out at the road again. “Pull over at the next stop,” you instruct. “The lookout is just through the trees.”
Wonwoo does as you say, and pretty soon you’re entering a small, empty parkinglot. You suppose it’s a school night, and you’ve heard this spot is busiest on Fridays and Saturdays.
The privacy is welcome, and Wonwoo slowly pulls to a stop. The view is breathtaking as the sun sets behind a mountain. Even from inside his car you can see the whole small town down below, twinkling and nestled amongst the Pacific Northwest geography. 
“Wow, Wonwoo-” you turn to say something, but suddenly he’s cupping your face and pressing his lips to yours.
The shy man you’ve been getting to know is gone, and you melt into the kiss, closing your eyes while your thoughts disappear. His touch is gentle on your cheek, but his fingers slip around to cup the back of your head, and when his tongue glides across your lower lip, you open your mouth for him, granting him access.
You stifle a groan, reaching out to grab the front of his shirt, pulling him closer while also sliding across the bench seat, your knees pressing against his thigh. 
Already, you want to be closer. You wish he’d grab your hips and pull you on top of him, but he doesn’t, he simply kisses you. You can feel your panties beginning to stick to your core, and when his lips move to your throat, you stifle a moan, fingers flexing against his shirt.
“Wonwoo, I need more-”
“I didn’t bring condoms,” he says against your neck.
“I don’t care-”
“I’m not about to get you pregnant on our second date.”
“How… responsible of you,” you laugh, feeling a little disappointed. “You could always just… I don’t know, pull out?”
Now it’s Wonwoo’s turn to chuckle, and he shakes his head. “Here, I have an idea.” He pulls away from you, and you’re left frowning. “Come outside with me.”
“But-”
He cups your face. “Do you trust me?”
You sigh. “Fine.” Maybe the cold air will calm you down, maybe you can convince him to bring condoms next time.
You exit the car, coming around the front to join Wonwoo. “Here,” he says, reaching for your hand and gently tugging you so you’re standing with your back to his chest while he leans against the hood of the vehicle. 
He wraps you tightly in his arms, and you release a sigh when he begins to kiss your neck again.
“Are you trying to torture me?” you ask.
“Angel, if I was trying to torture you, you’d know it.” 
“Yeah?” you can feel his cock through his jeans, and you begin to grind back against him. “And how would I know it?”
“Well for starters,” his hand snakes down the front of your dress, and he grabs at the fabric by your thighs, dragging it up, “I wouldn’t be doing this.” His lips return to your throat. “Can I touch you properly?”
“I’d be angry if you didn’t,” you confess, resting your head back against his shoulder. 
Wonwoo’s hand slips under your dress, and he cups your pussy, two fingers begining to rub you through your panties. A whimper slips past your lips, and you wiggle your hips, wanting more pressure, which Wonwoo gives you.
“Feels good?” he asks, breath hot against your throat.
“So good,” you nod. “For a guy who doesn’t do this sort of thing often, you definitely know how to handle women.”
Wonwoo simply laughs, but doesn’t respond more than that, continuing to tease you through your panties until you’re wriggling against his hand and cock. Then his free arm moves around to stop your hips, keeping you pinned to his chest. “Stop moving,” he says lowly, breath hot against your neck.
“I can’t help it,” you whimper, your pussy throbbing with need. 
“Are you close, Angel?” He smiles against your throat and a shiver runs up your spine. 
You nod, not able to find the words to admit to him that a little teasing through your panties has already taken you to the edge.
Wonwoo pulls away from your neck, and you feel him look around. You’re still the only two people in the dark parkinglot. 
“I’m gonna put you on the hood of my car now,” Wonwoo tells you.
You don’t really know what he’s thinking of doing to you, but there’s no way you’re going to question him now. You’re as compliant as ever, letting him adjust you and lift you onto his vehicle.
“Lay back,” he instructs next. “I’m going to take your panties off.”
Your heart races in your chest as you realize what he’s about to do, and you fall onto your elbows on the hood of his car, breathing heavily as Wonwoo leans down and begins to press kisses up your bare legs. 
His fingers hook in your panties, and he drags them down, exposing your hot core to the cool evening air. You can’t help the gasp that leaves you, and as Wonwoo positions your thighs over his broad shoulders, you think you might actually faint from the tension.
His breath is warm against your entrance and your thighs quiver with anticipation. There’s nothing for you to grab onto while on the hood of his car, so you bundle your hands in your dress, pulling the fabric higher so Wonwoo has easier access to your core. 
His own palms flatten along your thighs, fingers digging against your skin while he kisses closer and closer to where you need him most, his lips light like feathers. 
“God,” you groan. “Please!” 
The bastard smiles, and you realize how much he’s enjoying teasing you. How did your shy bowling alley boy turn into a demon like this? 
He presses a soft kiss to your clit and the sensation has you gasping loudly. Most men who’ve eaten you out have started rough and ended rough, but it’s clear to you already that Wonwoo is not like other men. It’s absolutely insane how good the feather light touches can feel, and when he kitten licks your folds your stomach clenches.
“Please, I need more-” you beg, pushing your pussy closer to his face. 
“Why won’t you let me enjoy you slowly?”
“Because-” your breath catches, “I need to cum!”
“Already?”
“Wonwoo, I swear to God-” You don’t even get to finish your sentence because he gives in, pressing his mouth against your core and pushing his tongue into your tight hole. Your hips push up involuntarily, and your clit brushes by Wonwoo’s nose, which sends shivers of pleasure down your legs.
He must notice the way you react from clit stimulation because he wraps his lips around the sensitive bud, flicking at it with his tongue.
Your whole body tenses. You’re so close to your orgasm you could die-
Wonwoo groans against your pussy and that’s all you need to topple over the edge, pussy throbbing as you come undone for him. 
Your eyes are clenched shut and your back arches off the hood of his car. Pleasure surges through your entire body, radiating out from between your legs. Wonwoo doesn’t let up on you though, he keeps licking your pussy, working you through your orgasm until you’re a complete quivering mess, shaking and moaning like you’ve never shaken and moaned before.
You’re breathless, body tingling with afterwaves of your orgasm when Wonwoo finally pulls away from your pussy. You watch under hooded lids as he wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, licking his lips.
With the limited light, it’s hard to see details, but you can tell his pupils are blown. 
Honestly, condoms be damned, you need this man to fuck you, and you need it now.
“Wonwoo-”
There’s a flash of light and his gaze shifts past you. You hear the familiar crunch of tires on graveled dirt, and you realize another car is pulling down the path to the lookout.
“Shit,” Wonwoo cusses, standing up and fixing your dress over your thighs. He reaches out for your hand. “Come on.”
“What about you?” you ask, knowing he’s probably aching in his jeans.
“I’m not about to make you blow me in my car.”
“What if I want to, though?” you question.
Wonwoo takes a deep breath, pulling you to your feet and holding you close. “Another time,” he assures you.
You tug on the front of his shirt, letting your lips ghost past his own. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “I wanted tonight to be about you.”
“Blowing you can still be about me.”
Wonwoo laughs. “Next time.”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise,” he confirms.
“You know… I like a man with self control.”
He simply shakes his head at you, letting you go so you can both get back in his car. “Let’s go for a drive,” he suggests, “because if we don’t, my self control might just snap.”
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Your whole week is spent with you on edge, but your third date with Wonwoo finally arrives on your next Wednesday off. He’s suggested a movie date, and you’re not exactly sure how you’re going to get touchy with him in a car surrounded by other couples- but as the date approaches, you realize that you probably won’t be the only duo getting a little frisky while watching the new James Bond movie, Live or Let Die.
You’re waiting outside when Wonwoo picks you up, and you enter his vehicle, leaning over the bench seat to press your lips to the corner of his mouth. “Hi,” you grin. “I missed you.”
“I uh…” he swallows thickly, “I missed you too.”
“What time is the movie again?” you ask.
“Uh,” Wonwoo checks his watch. “Fifteen minutes?”
“Then we should get going.” You settle in your seat while he takes you to the drive in movie. He pays for your tickets, and rolls into the parking lot, finding a spot. Your windows are already down, and there’s a speaker set up outside your doors so you can both hear the sound.
“Do you want popcorn or anything?” Wonwoo asks.
“Not right now, maybe later,” you grin, sliding closer to him. 
Wonwoo adjusts, resting his arm behind you and allowing you to tuck against his shoulder. “I’m happy to be here with you.”
“I’m happy you came,” Wonwoo admits. “I’ve been wanting to see this movie.”
“Yeah? You like spies?”
“I think the way Hollywood portrays them is… interesting.”
“Right, because you’re an expert on spies, huh?”
Wonwoo grins. “Something like that.”
He begins to play with your hair, stroking it gently, and you rest one of your hands on his thigh, enjoying the muscles and denim. God, it’s so hard to be near Wonwoo and not get horny, almost impossible you would say.
The film begins, and you do your best to focus on it, to no avail. 
Wonwoo’s still stroking you, and each drag of his fingers by your hair makes your panties wetter. You’re determined to repay the favour he’d done for you last time, and finally you’ve had enough.
“Wonwoo.”
“Hmm?” He sneaks a glance from the movie to look at you.
“I need something to suck on.”
“I can go grab you something from the concession-”
“No,” you shake your head. “I need you to suck on.”
“You need…” he coughs. “You need me.” It’s almost as if he doesn’t believe it.
“Uh huh,” you nod. “Will you let me make you feel good?”
“I-” his words cut off into a groan when you cup him through his jeans, and you realize he’s already half hard. 
“Looks like you need me too,” you smile, leaning forward to press your lips to the side of his throat. He jolts a little at the contact, angling his head back to give you more space to begin to suck on his skin. 
“Fuck,” he groans, and the sound goes straight to your core.
Why’s he so sexy. Like. How is this legal.
You’ve decided Wonwoo is illegal. No one should be this hot. It’s a panty dropping hazard, as you’re beginning to see for yourself. 
“Will you let me suck you off?” you ask. “Please?”
He swallows thickly. “Yeah.” 
“Good,” you grin, pressing one last kiss to his cheek before you begin to undo his jeans. You’ve never undressed someone so fast in your life, and a few moments later he’s lifting his hips to allow you to tug his pants down, his cock springing free.
You lick your lips, already salivating at the sight of him.
He’s somehow perfect everywhere. From his handsome face and gorgeous hands all the way down to his pretty cock, which is probably around seven or eight inches. It’s a good thickness, with a vein running along the underside that you want to trace with your tongue.
“Just, make sure no one sees,” you whisper, as you dip your head down, hoping the car doors will hide your body from view of other movie goers.
“Angel,” Wonwoo lets out a shaky breath, “I’m pretty sure the guy in the car next to us is doing the same thing with his girlfriend.”
That makes you feel a little better, as you wrap your hand around the base of his cock and bring its head to your lips, kitten licking and earning a groan from Wonwoo. His hand finds your hair again, stroking you as you take more of him into your mouth.
You haven’t blown a guy in a while, and it feels empowering to be pleasuring someone again. Wonwoo’s small moans are already making this more than worth it, and his constant touch through your hair is extra encouragement.
You sink yourself onto his cock, taking as much of him as you can. You’re trying to be gentle, but you get more daring as you go, sucking harder, which makes Wonwoo’s hips jolt below you. The head of his cock hits the back of your throat and you gag slightly. His grip tightens in your hair, and he curses, breathing heavily.
You want to make this man cum like you’ve never wanted to make any man cum in your entire life, so you go harder on him, pushing through the discomfort in the back of your throat. You focus on your tongue movements, the pressure of your sucking motions and the way you’re bobbing your head.
“Shit,” Wonwoo groans. “Slow down-”
You refuse. This is personal. You want to see how fast you can make him come undone. You want Wonwoo to be mouth whipped for you, if he’s not already obsessed after having a taste of your pussy last time.
It might be a little insecure of you, but you’re not one hundred percent sure Wonwoo wants you the way you want him. You need to be sure. You need to know he’s not going to leave you, like most people in your life have. 
“Angel,” Wonwoo’s voice lacks conviction, and you think he can tell you’re not intent on letting up anytime soon. When you release a moan around his cock, Wonwoo matches the sound. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”
You suck him even harder and Wonwoo pants above you, fingers flexing in your hair. He lets out a strangled sound as he reaches his high, and he shoots his load down your throat. You do your best to swallow like a good girl, continuing to bob yourself on his cock, wanting to milk him for all he’s worth-
“Shit, angel,” Wonwoo’s voice is breathless, almost whimpery, and it’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever heard. The last rope of cum goes down your throat and you finally let up, swallowing and pulling off his cock You take a deep breath, wiping your hand against the back of your mouth.
Wonwoo looks beautiful. His skin is flushed, his lips parted, and he’s looking at you in a way that no man has ever looked at you before. You want to kiss him so badly, but you’re very aware of his salty taste still in your mouth.
“I’m going to go get a drink,” you tell him.
“What?” He blinks. “Right now?”
“Yeah,” you nod, already reaching for the door handle. If you stay in this car with him any longer, you will jump his bones. You need the cool air and a breather, a way to slow your racing heart, and more importantly, you need your damned pussy to stop throbbing because you’re not getting laid tonight.
As you weave through the cars, you notice a group of men standing at the concession. They watch as you approach, and you do your best to downcast your eyes, feeling your skin heat. There’s no lineup for ordering and you’re quick to ask for two cokes, hoping that you’ll be able to head back to Wonwoo faster than people waiting for popcorn.
“Hey pretty girl,” one of the men calls, and it only takes you a moment to realize he’s talking to you. 
You don’t respond.
“I said,” he steps closer, “hey pretty girl.”
“Hi,” you say quietly.
“What’s a gorgeous girl like you doing here alone?” the man questions.
“I’m not alone.”
“I don’t see a boyfriend.”
“He’s in the car,” you insist.
“He must not care about you that much if he sent you out for drinks all by yourself.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Wonwoo’s voice makes you turn, and you let out a shaky breath at his sudden appearance. 
“And who are you?” The man hitting on you puffs up his chest.
“The boyfriend who you don’t think cares,” Wonwoo says steadily. “I do care,” he turns to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and lowering his voice to address you. “You ran away pretty quick, are you okay?”
“Uh huh,” you nod. “Just thirsty.”
“Two cokes!” the concession girl announces right on schedule, and you reach up to retrieve them, taking a sip of one and letting out a soft sigh while Wonwoo tosses a bill onto the counter.
“Come on, is this guy really your boyfriend?” It looks like the man harassing you doesn’t want to quit. 
“I am,” Wonwoo confirms, for the second time, and it makes your heart race in your chest.
The man takes a step forward. “I want to hear the girl say it. I don’t believe you.”
“I think you better back off.” Wonwoo’s voice has lowered an octave, and you’ve never seen him behave this way.
“Or what?” The catcaller has about two inches on Wonwoo, and he’s built like a bull, puffing his chest out again as he looks down at the man you met in a bowling alley of all places.
“Maybe you should try me and find out?” Wonwoo suggests.
The big guy laughs, and then in one motion, he takes a swing at Wonwoo. 
Wonwoo dodges the man’s fist easily, grabbing his forearm and adding to the forward momentum. Before you know what’s really happening, Wonwoo’s manuevered the man onto the ground, twisting his arm behind his back and pressing a knee just below that.
“I think you should say sorry for harassing my girlfriend,” Wonwoo says coldly.
“What?!” The man wiggles on the ground, but to no avail. Wonwoo’s thigh muscle bulges in his blue jeans and you think your mouth is watering again. 
“Say you’re sorry.” Wonwoo twists the man’s arm behind his back and the man lets out a grunt of pain.
“I’m sorry,” he groans. 
“For?” Wonwoo presses.
The man meets your gaze. “For harassing you, I’m sorry!”
Wonwoo lets up, standing and joining you again. “Lets go,” he says, grabbing one of the drinks from you before lacing your fingers. You allow him to guide you away from the man laying on the ground with a look of shock on his face.  
You’re still quite stunned yourself, and you let Wonwoo pull you back through the cars toward his own. He opens your door for you and you get inside, taking a deep breath while you watch him go around the front to enter his own seat.
“Wonwoo?”
“Yeah?”
“Where the fuck did a guy who works in a bowling alley learn to pull a move like that on someone so much bigger than him?” 
“Well-”
“Let me guess,” you hold up your hand, “If you told me you’d have to kill me.”
“Something like that,” he laughs.
You simply blink at him. “Who are you? Like really? Are you James Bond?”
“Definitely not,” Wonwoo grins. “Speaking of… should we continue watching the movie?”
All you can do is nod, but your mind is reeling, and you can’t focus the rest of the film. There’s so much about Wonwoo you still don’t know, and it’s making you insane. 
When the movie finishes, Wonwoo pulls out of the drive in theater. “I can tell you’re still shaken up about what happened,” he muses, “and I want to make it up to you.”
“Really? How are you thinking of doing that?”
“I was wondering if you’d let me cook you dinner sometime soon.”
“At your house?”
“Yeah.” 
“Okay,” you nod… maybe his house will provide a few clues to help you figure him out.
“Does tomorrow work for you?”
“Works great.”
Wonwoo looks over at you, and he reaches out a hand, lacing your fingers and giving you a gentle squeeze. It’s meant as reassurance, but he doesn’t say anything else as he drives you home. 
“Can I walk you to your door?” Wonwoo asks softly when you arrive.
“Of course,” you nod, exiting the car and waiting for Wonwoo to come join you so you can head up the walkway together. 
“I had a really good time tonight,” he muses, “and not just because you sucked me off.”
The statement makes you laugh, shaking your head at him. “No? Bet you also enjoyed throwing that guy on the ground.”
“I enjoyed watching a movie with you,” Wonwoo insists. 
“Sure you did,” you grin, turning to face him on your doorstep.
You know it’s probably just a matter of time before one of your roommates ruins the moment, and you think Wonwoo knows it too, because there’s no hesitation in his actions tonight. He grabs your hips, tugging you close so he can lean down and press his mouth to your own. 
He’s confident, lips parting so his tongue can glide against your own. One of his hands releases your hips to cup your face, thumb brushing your cheek while he kisses you.
Your stomach is in knots just from this, and you’re acutely aware that you haven’t actually fucked him yet, aware that tomorrow, you’ll be in his home, alone. 
Your front door opens and Wonwoo breaks away from you. “Hi Mary,” he addresses your roommate.
“Hi love birds,” Mary grins.
You shake your head at the way she’s ruined the moment. Your panties are sticking uncomfortably to your core and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.
“I’ll uh… see you tomorrow?” you say softly, looking into Wonwoo’s pretty, dark eyes.
He nods. “I’ll come pick you up at seven.”
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Wonwoo is a shockingly good cook. He’d made a baked chicken and pasta dish that he’d simply taken out of the oven after picking you up, plating the food while you looked around his little home. 
Your first bite of food had made you almost groan, looking at him while he laughed. “Bet you thought I couldn’t cook,” he’d mused.
You’d admitted your expectations had been low, and the two of you had eaten dinner together, chatting about everything from his house being rented furnished, to a few towns he’d been in before coming here.
Wonwoo had given nomadic vibes, but as you listen to him speak, you realize how deep that constant need for movement runs. It strikes something like fear inside of you… when is he going to decide to leave this town? To leave you? Is there even a future for you both?
Wonwoo doesn’t seem to notice your distress, as you’re good at hiding it, and after you’re done eating, he suggests moving to the couch to watch a sitcom. 
He sits down first, and after a moment of deliberation, you tuck close to his side. His arm wraps around you immediately and you lean against his shoulder, letting out a deep sigh while he turns on the tv. “Do you want to watch anything in specific?” he asks.
You shake your head. “I’m okay with whatever.”
A generic sitcom begins to play and you relax even more, enjoying the feeling of his arm around you. You could get used to nights like this… if Wonwoo wasn’t such a nomadic, unpredictable man. 
Wonwoo’s hand begins to stroke up and down your arm, and you find it hard to even concentrate on the show while he’s doing this. You simply enjoy existing with him, and you haven’t experienced this type of peace with a man possibly ever. 
An hour passes in this easy way, and Wonwoo begins to yawn, stretching his arms over his head. You wonder how he manages to remain so pretty even while yawning- sometimes you hate how attractive this man is. If he wasn’t so god damned sexy, maybe he wouldn’t have you wrapped around his finger the way he does.
“I’m getting tired,” he notes. “Maybe… maybe I should drive you home.”
“You could do that… or, you could let me cuddle you, and you could have a nap,” you suggest.
Wonwoo considers it, and he bites at his lip, looking deep in thought. “I’ve never uh… never napped with someone before.”
“Really?” Your brows raise in shock. “Well… don’t you want to give it a try?”
“Sometimes I have bad dreams,” he tells you quietly. 
“Wouldn’t it be nicer for you to wake up with someone there to comfort you?” you ask.
Wonwoo blinks. “Would you really do that?”
“Of course!” you assure him, reaching out to gently squeeze his thigh. “Come on, if you get nightmares, I’ll even let you be the little spoon.”
“You’ll let me be the little spoon,” he repeats, not looking convinced.
“Trust me, it will help,” you assure him. 
He still looks like he doesn’t quite believe you, but he allows you to maneuver him down onto the couch, with you removing the back pillows so the two of you can lay comfortably. You curl around his back, tucking a hand around him, placing your palm over his heart. A moment later, he threads his fingers through your own, locking you into a position that feels secure and warm and very loving.
He’s tense, but when you let out a deep breath, he mirrors you, and you feel him relaxing in your embrace.
“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” he tells you.
“You don’t trust me?”
“I don’t trust myself.”
“Well, I can trust you for the both of us,” you say softly, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to his neck. “Have a nap. I’ll be here for you, no matter what happens.”
Wonwoo sighs, but he cuddles a little closer to you, and you can’t help but smile at the motion. You listen to him breathe while the sitcom chatters away in the background, and you’re pretty sure it only takes a minute or two for him to fall asleep.
The poor man, he must have been really tired for him to knock out so fast.
You enjoy holding him, and you get comfortable wrapped around his back. His broad shoulders obscure part of the tv screen from your view but you don’t mind, it’s not like you’re really watching anyways. 
Focusing on your breaths, you allow yourself to fall in a state of deep relaxation. You’re not particularly sleepy, it just feels nice to be close to Wonwoo like this… even when he begins to twitch. You can tell he’s dreaming now, and you note the way the muscles in his arms feather- you wonder what dream Wonwoo is up to.
He settles down a little, and you’re glad that maybe he’s not going to wake up, maybe having someone cuddling him does help. 
Your hope that your presence makes a difference is dashed not five minutes later when Wonwoo begins twitching again, but this time, there’s more force in it. 
“No-” he mumbles in his sleep. “No-” he says again, but now he’s louder.
At this point, you’re not sure this counts as a nightmare, it’s pretty clear to you that Wonwoo’s having a night terror, and when he begins to shake, you can’t help but wrap your arms around him, clinging to his back. “Shh,” you whisper softly, reaching up a hand to stroke his hair. “It’s okay, it’s just a dream-”
Wonwoo jolts in your embrace, and then he’s sitting up abruptly, eyes snapping open, lips parting in gasps-
“It was just a dream,” you tell him again, louder now that he’s awake. You sit up and attach to his back again, running your hands up and down his arms. “You’re safe. You’re safe with me now.”
He’s still breathing heavily, shoulders moving with each sharp inhale of breath.
You hold him through it, knowing now is not the best time to ask any questions. You just want to support him, so that’s what you do. 
After a while, Wonwoo starts to take more even breaths, and he rests a hand over yours, leaning back against you. He’s quiet, and he lets you simply hold him. You’re sure now that you’re providing comfort, and when you lean in to press a soft kiss to his neck, he lets out a deep sigh. 
“I need to tell you something.” 
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” you assure him.
“I do,” he insists. “Especially after what happened at the drive in.”
He must be referring to his ability to take down a man and pin him to the sidewalk, and to be fair, you have been wondering about that. You give Wonwoo the space to elaborate. 
“I’m not even sure how to explain this,” Wonwoo sighs after a moment.
“Take your time.”
“This is going to sound crazy,” he says softly, and you can tell he’s working up the courage to get out what’s on his mind. “There’s no other way to describe it, so I might as well just say it. You’ve probably been wondering about the job I had before I started at the bowling alley.”
He pauses to allow you to confirm, and you give a small nod, leaning against his shoulder. He’s not looking at you, and you assess his side profile. It’s clear that this is going to be a turning point in your relationship with him, and you give him your complete attention for it.
“The government…” Wonwoo licks his lips, “well, they’d call me a rogue military asset.” 
You take in his words, not quite sure how to react-
“I can’t go into details with you, I won’t, but… I can tell you that I never agreed with what the government wanted to use me for.” 
The night terrors make sense now. 
“They put a lot of time training me to be who I am, so… let's just say they wouldn’t let me leave without a fight. Technically, I’m court marshalled, but it’s worse than that- I’m on the run, moving from town to town- I can’t  stay anywhere too long- it’s never been a problem for me, but then-” he swallows thickly. “Then I met you. It’s funny,” Wonwoo lets out a sad chuckle, “I’m trained to assess probability, but nowhere in my future sight did I anticipate meeting a girl I actually liked, someone I could confide in, someone who I could rest next to, who wouldn’t judge me for my dreams.” 
“Wonwoo-” you whisper his name, and he turns in your arms, facing you.
“I don’t want to ruin your life,” he states. “Being with a guy like me, it doesn’t give you a future.”
“You wouldn’t be ruining it,” you insist, “and your wrong. It would give me a future, a future with you.” 
“It’s not enough.”
“Let me be the judge of that, please.” You cup his face, and Wonwoo leans into your touch, his eyes meeting yours. You can’t help but lean forward, pressing your lips to his own. It’s a soft kiss at first, and you hope he can feel the emotion you’re pouring into it.
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, adjusting so you can climb into his lap, straddling him on the couch while his tongue slides over your own. 
His hands find your hips, and he applies a bit of pressure, helping you grind down on him. You can feel his cock in the denim of his jeans, and you’re a little surprised that he’s turned on so soon after a night terror, but at the same time, you’re not complaining.
“Wonwoo,” you whisper, breaking the kiss while his lips move to your throat. “I think… I think I should stay over tonight, in case you have any more night terrors.”
You feel him smile against your skin. “Is that the only reason?” he asks.
You grind your clothed core along his cock, shaking your head. “No.” 
“Let me take you to bed,” Wonwoo says, grabbing at your ass and lifting you up easily. “I’m not about to have you on the couch.”
“You’re about to have me?” you grin.
“Unless you don’t want it.”
“I want it,” you confirm, lips moving to his neck while he carries you through his small house. “I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“Me too,” he says softly, fingers digging into your ass.
When you get to his bedroom, he lays you onto his bed softly before standing over you, looking down at your form. “You’re so pretty,” Wonwoo whispers, reaching down to trail a finger over your denim covered knee.
“Prettier with my pants off,” you smirk.
“Yeah?” He lets out a small laugh. 
“You should see for yourself.” You reach down to undo your jeans and as you pull down the zipper, Wonwoo grabs at the leg, tugging. Soon, your legs are bare, and you feel the cool air of the room against your hot, panty covered core. “Now's the time I tell you I’m also cuter with no underwear.”
“I remember,” Wonwoo nods. 
His words make a hot lick of pleasure tease up your pussy, and you grab at the bottom of your shirt, tugging that off next so all you’re left in is a bra and panties. 
Wonwoo begins to get onto his knees but you shake your head. “We’ve had enough foreplay. Enough teasing. I want you inside of me.”
“Are you sure?” Wonwoo kisses your inner thigh, and the feeling makes you close your eyes, leaning your head back to let out a sigh.
“I’m sure,” you confirm. No matter how good his tongue might feel, you’re aching to get to his cock.
“Why won’t you let me take care of you?” he asks, breath hot as it fans up your legs.
“Because I’m impatient,” you can’t help but laugh, writhing in his sheets. “Because I need to know what you feel like.”
Wonwoo lets out something of a hum, and he presses a kiss to your thigh before moving up your body. His lips drag over your stomach and up to the swell of your breasts while he climbs on top of you, hands pressing against the mattress on either side of your head. His nose nuzzles by your throat as he kisses there too, and when you tug on his soft hair, he finally makes it to your mouth.
You groan against his lips immediately, wrapping your legs around his hips while tugging at his shirt. He allows you to tear it off of him, breaking the kiss for only a moment before you’re dragging him back to you.
His tongue glides across your lip and you open your mouth for him, allowing him to trace your teeth. You like the feeling of him, like what he does with his tongue. 
His hand slips under your back and you arch yourself for him, making it easier to take off your bra. He pushes at your straps next, and you lose your patience, pulling the fabric from your chest and exposing your boobs to the man who makes you hornier than you’ve ever been in your entire life. 
Wonwoo dips his head down, pressing kisses over your breasts until he reaches your nipple. His free hand begins to gently massage your other boob while his tongue begins to trace your pebbled bud. It feels like magic, and you thread your fingers in his hair, releasing a groan.
He sucks gently on your nipple, taking his time. 
You’d said no foreplay, but you’re okay with this. You can feel yourself beginning to soak through your panties, and when Wonwoo switches from one breast to the other, you practically throb at how well he’s taking care of you. 
Sounds of pleasure are slipping past your lips now, and you get lost in the feeling of his mouth on your chest, his hands groping what his tongue isn’t playing with. 
You wonder how long it’s been since he had his face in a nice set of boobs, and you allow him to enjoy it. He’s clearly having the time of his life, and you can feel him beginning to grind down against the mattress between your legs. 
“Wonwoo,” you whisper tugging at his hair. 
He murmurs against your breasts, but doesn’t let up.
“Need you inside, please,” you beg. “You can keep sucking on my boobs, but, I need you inside of me right now.” 
“Let me grab a condom,” Wonwoo says, pulling off your chest to reach into his bedside table where he takes out a square foil.
He sits back onto his knees between your legs, tearing open the package while you work on his jeans, getting his belt undone and his zipper down. 
You can tell by his movements that he’s starting to get impatient too, and when he looks down at your panty covered core and smirks, you have a feeling you know whats coming next.
“How much do you like these?” he asks, hooking a finger in the fabric.
“Just ruin them,” you laugh, not wanting to wait another moment. 
“You got it, angel,” Wonwoo grabs your panties with both hands. He tears one side, freeing a thigh, before repeating the motion on the other side, then he tugs the ruined clothing item off your body and tosses it onto the floor.
“Don’t even bother with your pants,” you say, pushing them down his thighs, “just fuck me with them at your knees.”
“You weren’t kidding when you said you needed me.”
“I’d never kid about that,” you giggle, watching him roll the condom onto his thick cock. The moment he’s done, you’re grabbing at his shoulders, pulling him down on top of you so you can crash your lips to his own. 
He ruts his hips, cock grazing through your pussy folds, teasing your clit.
“Please,” you groan, feeling absolutely insatiable. He’s so close, he just needs to put it in-
Wonwoo reaches a hand between your bodies, adjusting his cock to your wet hole. “Are you sure?” he asks.
Instead of answering, you wrap your legs around his hips, applying pressure to force him inside of you. He lets out a groan as his length sinks into your wet heat, his mouth moving hot against yours again while you get his body flush to your own.
You both moan loudly when he’s inside of you fully, your greedy pussy taking him all after the build ups you’ve had in numerous dates. 
“Do you like is fast or slow?” Wonwoo asks, lips moving to your throat.
“Slow, then fast,” you respond, tracing his broad shoulders while you relax into the feeling of him.
“You got it, angel,” Wonwoo says, starting to move his hips. He rocks slowly, the tip of his cock dragging by your sweet spot as he begins to make love to you. 
It feels like heaven, and you get lost in him, moans slipping out of you with each thrust.
True to his word, Wonwoo’s pace gradually quickens, his fingers digging into your hips to pin you to the bed. He’s so big and sexy and- everything you’ve ever wanted in a man.
You hold him like you never want to let him go, and the way he kisses you makes you think he feels the same.
There’s no dirty talk, and you don’t mind it. You’re just two souls quietly enjoying each other. The only sounds are primal noises of pleasure and the soft slapping of skin on skin. 
As his pace builds, so does the feeling growing in the pit of your stomach. Wonwoo’s moans don’t help your situation, and each groan has your pussy practically throbbing with need. 
His shoulders are your anchor, your broad, lovely, wonderful, sexy anchor, and you hold onto them tightly, eyes shut while you enjoy him. 
When Wonwoo’s thrusts become almost piston like in nature, you cry out, and Wonwoo breaks your kiss to bury his face against your throat. “You close?”
“Yes, fuck, Wonwoo-” you whimper, so close to your high you can almost taste it.
“Want me to cum with you, angel?”
“Yes, God, please-” you nod quickly, digging your nails into his shoulders. 
Wonwoo groans deeply. “I’m almost there-”
“I can’t hold it,” you’re nearly crying now, overwhelmed by how good this feels.
“Then cum,” Wonwoo states, voice husky as he reaches a hand between your bodies, fingers rubbing your clit. “Cum with me, angel.”
This is the last straw, and your pussy clenches tightly around his cock, orgasm slamming into you while you hold onto Wonwoo as your life line. You gasp loudly in his ear, waves of pleasure washing over you. In fact, you see stars, vision clouding behind your lids as you’re overtaken by Wonwoo and everything he does for you.
He’s still groaning in your ear, and his thrusts are harder now. You can tell he’s cumming too, and the thought only makes your orgasm last longer, pussy milking him for all he’s worth.
You’re not sure when exactly he begins to slow down, but soon he’s coming to a stop on top of you, gasping loudly. His heart is thundering in his chest, and you can feel it through your breast where you’re pressed together.
You reach up to stroke a hand through his hair, also working on your ragged breathing. 
He holds you for a while, but finally he’s forced to pull away. “Let me get rid of the condom, then we can sleep,” he says softly, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before heading to the bathroom just down the hall.
You stare at his ceiling, still overwhelmed with everything that’s happened.
Wonwoo might not know what his future holds, but you’re certain that as long as you find a way to be part of it, you might be happy forever.
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Waking up next to Wonwoo had been wonderful. There hadn’t been any more night terrors, and Wonwoo even mentions it as you make breakfast together. “I haven’t slept that well in years,” he muses, holding you close and kissing your neck.
“Then you might have to keep me as a safety blanket,” you tease, although… you do mean it. 
The comment is enough to make him groan and he turns off the stove, neglecting breakfast in favour of throwing you on the table and eating you as his first course.
He buries his tongue inside your core, making you cum three times before the day has even really started. Then he sits you down and plates your meal, sitting across from you and watching you with dark eyes exaggerated by circular spectacles that set off the handsome features of his face.
“When can I see you again?” he asks when you clean up from breakfast.
“Working tonight,” you sigh.
“I could pop by, if you wanted me to.”
“As long as you don’t drink coffee at my eight pm shift,” you giggle, remembering what your chef had said about Wonwoo’s obscure proclivities. 
“I promise,” Wonwoo smiles. “I’ll get a burger again.”
“Then you can come see me at work,” you grin, stepping closer to Wonwoo while he wraps his arms around your form, tugging you to his chest.
You’re getting way too used to him, but you can’t stop yourself, all you can do is watch while you fall deeper and deeper into the world of Wonwoo.
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You’re downright giddy when Wonwoo shows up in the middle of your shift. He’s always cute, but today, with his circular glasses, he takes your breath away.
He waves as he enters the diner, and you call for him to take any table. He takes the same booth as last time and you’re quick to get him some water, scurrying over with a smile.
“Hi,” you greet him.
“Hi,” he repeats. “How’s your shift going?”
“Better now that you’re here,” you say honestly. “You still want that burger?”
“Can you give me a couple minutes?” he asks. “I think I want to watch you run around for a bit. The sooner I order, the sooner I have to get out of here.”
“Are you going to stare at my ass, Wonwoo?”
“If you’ll let me.”
“Stare away.” You wink, turning on your heel and heading to check in on a different table.
It’s interesting to have his eyes on you like this, to know he’s happy just watching you while you work. He’s such a softie, and you adore him.
You’re grabbing food from the kitchen for a couple when the diner bell rings, and you look up to see four cops coming in. It’s not that often that police come to the diner for an aftershift meal, but tonight seems to be one of those nights.
They’re regulars, all things considered, and with a short wave to you, they take their favourite table, two down from Wonwoo.
Your gaze shifts to the man who’s just told you he’s on the run from the government. He’s playing with his cup of water, but that’s the only indication that he’s nervous. His body language is otherwise relaxed, and you think maybe he’s simply a good actor.
You grab four menus for the cops, and a tray of water, casually walking over them to pick up a conversation about how their night is going.
As you serve them, you notice one of the cops peering over at Wonwoo, and you can feel anxiety building in your stomach. “Can I grab you anything?” you ask, trying to take the man’s attention off of Wonwoo. “Tea, beer-”
“A beer would be nice,” he nods.
You give him a list of what you have in bottles, and he chooses, but as soon as you’re done with him, his eyes move to Wonwoo again. 
You head to the main counter, where you put through the drink orders. 
The bell to the diner rings, and when you turn to greet the new guests, you don’t see anyone standing at the door. You do, however, find Wonwoo’s booth empty, and your heart drops in your chest.
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You’re walking home from your shift when a car pulls up next to you. For a moment, you feel your heart begin to race, but then Wonwoo’s rolling down his window and calling out to you, “Hey, angel.”
“Oh my gosh, Wonwoo-” you stop in your tracks to look at him.
“Can I give you a ride home?”
“Of course,” you respond immediately, heading around his car to get in.
“I’m sorry I left so abruptly,” he apologizes when you enter, closing the door behind yourself.
“I understand why you did it,” you sigh. “You were probably worried one of those cops would recougnize you.”
“Exactly,” he nods. “This is why…” he swallows thickly. “This is why I never stay in one place for too long.”
His words hurt.
They really hurt. 
“Look…” you choose what you say next very carefully, “if you do decide to leave town, please don’t do it without coming to talk to me first.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Wonwoo says softly.
The rest of the short ride is quiet, and when he stops in front of your house, he leans over and cups your face, pressing his lips to your own.
When he pulls away, you stay staring at him. “Call me anytime, okay?”
He nods. “You got it, angel.” 
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It’s been two days since you last heard from Wonwoo, and you’re hanging out at home before a shift when the phone rings. Something inside of you makes you jump from the couch, running to answer the call before either of your roommates can.
“Hello?”
“Hi, angel.” 
“Wonwoo-” you let out a deep breath. “How are you?”
The line is quiet for a moment, and you hear him sigh. “I’ve been better.”
“Did something happen?”
“Not yet, but… I expect it might soon.”
You try to figure out what he’s saying. “Does that mean…”
“I’m leaving,” he says, as assertive as you’ve ever heard him. “I have to go.”
Your skin heats and you feel hot pricks in your eyes. You hold back tears, taking a deep breath and squeezing the phone in your hand. “Let me come with you.”
“I told you, this isn’t a life for you-”
“And I told you I don’t care!” You can’t contain yourself anymore, and you feel bad the moment the loud words are out of your mouth. Jessica looks at you from the other room and you turn your back to her, lowering your voice. “It’s not a life for you either, Wonwoo. You can’t live alone forever. You can’t.” 
“Some days I think I was built to be alone.”
You can’t help the tears now, and you choke a little on the sob that works its way up your throat. “Wonwoo, please-”
“I don’t want to do this to you, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re hurting me now!” you insist. “Wonwoo you can’t leave, not right when-” you cut yourself off, closing your eyes and leaning your shoulder against the wall. “Not right when I’m falling in love with you.”
The line is dead silent, and each second is like an hour. You’re shaking now, anxiety flooding your system. “Wonwoo? Are you still there?”
“I have to leave soon,” he says finally. “We wouldn’t have room for furniture, or-”
“I don’t care about furniture,” you insist. “All I need is a bag and you.” 
“This is crazy,” Wonwoo sighs.
“People do crazier things for love…” you bite at your lip. “You do love me too, right, Wonwoo? That’s why you’re open to this?”
This time, there’s no moment of contemplation, he simply answers, “Of course I love you, angel. How could I not?”
This time, when you let out a small cry, it’s not sadness. It’s a release of pent up emotion, emotion you’ve been holding in for who knows how long. You’re not sure how Wonwoo came into your life and flipped it upside down, but you are sure about him. More sure than you’ve been about anything in your life. 
“Your roommates aren’t going to be mad about you abruptly leaving?” Wonwoo asks.
You turn to look at Jessica. “My roommates will get over it,” you state. “When are you picking me up?”
“Can you be ready in an hour?”
“I’ll be waiting outside with my bag.”
“See you then… and angel?”
“Yes, Wonwoo?”
“I do love you.” 
“I love you too.”
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☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I had so much fun with this collab, find the masterlist for it here
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🔮 preview. “We could always practice making babies,” you suggest. Wonwoo lets out a loud laugh, the kind of laugh that lights up his face in the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen. “Practice, huh?” He releases a deep breath, hands moving to your hips to pull you closer to his bare chest. “I hid your condoms,” you say. It sounds like you’re teasing him, but you are, in fact, being completely serious. “Come on…” you plead, leaning forward to ghost your lips over his throat, “have some fun with me.”
cw/ tw. Unprotected/raw sex, sex, fairly vanilla sex, Wonwoo is a park ranger so he’s built, hand grabbing, heavy panting/breathing, Wonwoo is pleasure vocal, talk about making babies, oral (f receiving), Wonwoo loves eating pussy, fingering, multiple orgasms, etc… I pet names: (hers) angel.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.3k I teaser wc. 200
🌙 staring. Wonwoo x afab!Reader
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bonus
The first few months being nomadic with Wonwoo had been bitter sweet. Every time you were getting used to a town, something would happen that would cause you to run. Eventually, however, you found a fit.
Wonwoo had stumbled upon a job opening as a park ranger, and it came with a log cabin a half an hour drive from the closest town, the small house nestled discreetly between the trees Wonwoo would be hired to take care of.
It had helped that one drive through the area had proven to Wonwoo that the cops were lazy, more interested in their donut runs than doing their jobs.
You’ve been living with your park ranger boyfriend for over a year now, and the cabin feels like home. 
Wonwoo wakes up with the sun, and sets off to do a run through of the trails. You take your time waking and cook breakfast, or you head in to town in your second hand beat up truck for supplies. There’s a library that hired you and the scheduling is relaxed-
You have everything you could ever want… well, almost everything.
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