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lisafication · 6 months

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This post is uh, extremely normal I swear

So hello yes I am absolutely On My Bullshit regarding my new favourite game.

That’s right, it’s the cannibal incest game, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. And I’m here to shove five thousand words of pretentious analysis down your throat because, and I do not exaggerate, I think it is one of, if not the best written game I have ever played. And I have played a lot of games, including Baldur’s Gate 3, Final Fantasy XIV and Undertale, to name a few narrative luminaries to come to mind.

That wordcount is not an exaggeration. My brainworms are extremely powerful and now you can share them with me as I walk you through my insane skyscraper of inference-driven analysis.

Or you can click away. I really wouldn’t blame you, it’s quite a lot.

Content Warnings: …Yes?

(To drop the bit for a moment, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley covers extremely disturbing material and challenges you to examine aspects of living in this world that many have taken for granted all their life, it is not a comfortable game, this will cover similar topics and will often echo the game’s unremitting scepticism on basic principles of society and humanity and you should look after yourself first. My Content Warning is framed as a joke, but it’s also quite real in that the game is designed to make you uncomfortable and there’s no shame in that not being for you.)

This was originally posted on and formatted for Sufficient Velocity, and you can probably more easily read and discuss it with me here.

With that said, let’s dig in. I have had to split this into multiple posts because tumblr will only allow so many images. There will be spoilers for all endings.

She’s excited, are you?

It’s All About Ashley

It really is, isn’t it? I mean, for approximately eighty percent of the total game as currently released and the entirety of Episode 1, you’re in control of Ashley, just as she’s in control of her and Andrew’s relationship for 80% of the game, up until the various ending sequences where it begins to slip. The only other characters who really matter at all in and of themselves are Andrew and her mother — and the former is under her thumb, and she eats the latter. It’s all about Ashley. Even her obsession with Andrew is, ultimately, about Ashley.

But who is Ashley? What is Ashley? Why is Ashley, even? Let’s take a look.

Ashley as presented to us in Episode 1 is very straightforward, so let’s list off the traits we’re given — she is malicious, she is fearless, she lacks empathy, she doesn’t have anything resembling a conscience, she demands Andrew belong to her and her alone, she has him at her beck and call.

In Episode 2, we’re ostensibly shown how she has him at her beck and call— she leverages the threat of reporting Nina’s death over him and had him swear to be with her forever. We’re shown that even as a child she was “just, like that” — but as a child, she hadn’t learnt to live with it yet, to laugh at the farce of it all.

Yeah, exactly like that!

And she does this throughout Episode 1 — The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is a remarkably silly game much of the time, finding moments of absurdity and levity against a backdrop blacker than pitch — and most of the time, your internal narration is coming from Ashley and the jokes will not-infrequently come at her own expense.

She will later get negged by her human sacrifice for her poor ritual circle drawing

Her reaction to being told that her soul is as dark and viscous as tar is “You guess you already knew that” — it’s confirmation to her, not new information. Ashley knows who she is. But who taught her this? There’s layers to this, nothing in this game is as simple and straightforward as it appears at first sight, which is why I’ve been obsessing over it for days.

While it’s common in fiction, the truth of the matter is, most ‘bad people’ really do think they’re good people. But Ashley has never once thought of herself as a good person — or perhaps better put as a person worthy of love — as we learn across Episodes 1 & 2, with our flashbacks to Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!!

I really wish I had space in this essay to talk about this, but I’d like to touch on these being traits usually more easily forgiven in young boys than young girls at some point.

If she removes all other options, only then can she expect him to like her.

This is something that is echoed in the modern day — her seeming self-assurance is easily shaken and she reaches out to the world — usually Andrew — to affirm and validate her, soothing her insecurities, using any tool she deems necessary. Even when her life is on the line when Andrew has her by the throat at the climax of Episode 1, the only ‘compelling reason’ she can give Andrew to not kill her is her ability to soothe his nightmares. When he tells her there are sleeping pills for that…

Most people would have a bit more to argue for their existence.

While she, unlike Andrew, acknowledges having had friends before the quarantine… you know she’s got a point that they didn’t even bother to answer her calls, that was clearly not something the state was interfering with given Andrew’s calls with his mother and his girlfriend, and given her general demeanour it’s not hard to imagine that… they weren’t ever very close. When we see her and Nina talk in the infamous ‘box scene’, it’s clear that Nina doesn’t like her very much, despite Andrew’s assessment of Nina as being one of Ashley’s friends.

We see further support for her general lack of companionship in her dream sequence in the Burial route — Leyley and Leyley Alone. No matter what you do, you can’t place the pink plushy at the family table, the flowers won’t bloom if you give the Julia and Nina plushies her own as a companion instead of Andrew’s — and if you’re bold enough to go for the ‘incest route’, in the ‘Love’ room you see that no one ever looks happy to be with her in the childlike depictions of her history, nor is she happy in turn, save for when she’s with Andrew. In a bit of heavy-handed metaphor, the player then overwrites all of these tense, upset, hard moments with Andrew, having him fill in for everyone else in life — and happy with her.

Once Upon A Lousy Life…

THE END

And that’s why she needs him to affirm her, because no one else ever has and no one else ever will. It’s even included in their comic beats — when the siblings are getting along well, they’ll often play a game where Andrew dramatically overpraises Ashley while she demands more; it’s a comedic bit but I mean — it really does matter to her!

For the record, she opened a door. She gets a little heart in a speech bubble after this exchange.

We have a great example of this dynamic, that of insecurity and affirmation, in Episode 1, after Andrew has killed for her, butchered for her, his girlfriend broke up with her, he’s seemingly thrown his entire life away for her… she’s still insecure over her relationship with him, she’s uncertain of her control and she needs him to reaffirm it for her.

This is her victory, surely?

Andrew affirms her once, with his usual dead-eyed look.

But she's still not so sure.

He actively reaches out to affirm her again with cheer.

Look how happy she is!

While it’s most obvious and clear cut here, it’s hardly the only case. Let’s look back to the aftermath of Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!! (I’m not using the other name). Leyley is, after similarly extreme acts — he murdered a girl and hid her body for her — convinced Andy doesn’t like her and she needs this leverage to keep him around, to meet her basic needs for survival. Because that’s what this is — she receives no care of affection elsewhere, so she forces it out of the only source she sees available through the means she sees as necessary.

I really hope we see some of their earlier childhood in Episode 3

What exactly made her like this? Was it just neglect, or something more specific…

She needs this to be the case because otherwise she doesn’t believe he’d stay.

This pattern repeats throughout — Ashley’s insecurities are hit on and she reaches out to Andy to affirm that she is not alone, and she will use any and every tool to exploit her ostensible control over him and force him to be what she needs him to be — and as long as she has that, as long as she is everything to him and it’s not possible for him to leave, she’s happy. As long as she thinks he loves her in her very particular, very peculiar view of love, she’s content, come what may. As long as Andy and Leyley are together, they can take on the world.

Let’s talk about that view of love, because there’s always more layers to unpack here I’m only scratching the surface with this essay — Ashley consistently refers to anyone else Andrew may have befriended or spent time with as a whore, a slut, a bitch — highly gendered insults that bring to mind the idea that he’s cheating in some way. But it’s not even about sex — when Andrew mentions that their parents had friends, she accuses them of cheating on each other in the same way!

There’s a lot to unpack about Ashley’s view of femininity and the role the patriarchy plays in their relationship.

Any kind of emotional engagement, any kind of commitment, any kind of life outside of your significant other is, to Ashley, cheating. Because that’s what she needs from Andrew, a seeming complete and total commitment, secure in her place as the only thing in his life, because she cannot understand anyone picking her if they have a choice.

This insecurity she has in her relationship is what drives her to empower the trinket — he can’t leave her as long as she can protect him with prophetic dreams, after all. She needs every kind of leverage she can get because until she succeeds in being everything to him, in devouring him so completely she has him in her thrall mind, body and soul she can’t be sure of herself — hell, her dream sequence in Burial has you placing Andrew’s signature green plushy, ‘the best thing in the world’ in a cage far away from anything else.

Ultimately, it really is all about Ashley — even her seeming obsession with Andrew ultimately comes back to her own insecurities. If she is everything to ‘the best thing in the world’, some of that ‘best’ must surely reflect on her!

But that’s enough about the more normal, straightforward and understandable sibling.

That was not a joke.

Andrew’s Rank 100 Deception

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he did not exist.

Let me explain.

You might have noticed that in the previous section I often use language such as ‘ostensibly’ or ‘seemingly’ to describe Andy and Leyley’s relationship, and there’s a good reason for that. From the beginning of the game through to its end, Andrew is lying to you, the player, without ever falsely representing or misinforming you about events that occurred.

The common, or obvious ‘initial take’ on Andrew as presented in Episode 1 is fairly straightforward. The game primes you to think this way, it frames things and strings reveals just right so as to make it very easy to overlook the incongruities it introduces in Episode 2. He’s a victim. Plain and simple, Ashley is his abuser and he is her victim and would be fine, a normal albeit kinda depressed guy without her.

It really is not a difficult conclusion to draw

You can go all the way through the game, have him try to accept his mother’s olive branch and enter the Decay route as a method for him to finally actualise his desire to get out from Ashley’s thumb and it makes sense, it’s a reasonable way for the story to go, given his character.

You see him this way because the game primes you in Episode 1 to view their relationship like Andrew does — he’s lying. He’s lying to himself, he’s lying to Ashley and he’s so good at it — Deception Rank 100 — he even lies to you. Without misrepresenting a single event or otherwise misleading you directly, the game gets you to buy into his preferred self-perception. Nina? Ashley. Julia? Ashley. The murders they commit in the course of the game? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, it’s not his fault he’s not to blame he’s just a doormat at the beck and call of his demonic sister.

But he wants to be there. From the very outset, the very first puzzle, that’s made clear. Does anyone else remember this exchange, from right at the beginning of the game?

Ashley wants to investigate the music!

Andrew disapproves…

…Or does he?!

Like. Listen. Okay. You do not frown when saying ‘Nope’ and then smile when saying that you’ll instead tag along if they do it if your heart is at all in the no. That’s not an objection, that’s using Ashley as his excuse. Especially if you immediately throw her the balcony key that she could not possibly have gotten from you by force (more on Andrew’s ability to use force later).

This is the very first time you control both characters together with Andrew following Ashley instead of off on his own, the first adventure, the first puzzle!

But put a pin in that for now, let’s talk about his initial framing in Episode 2 first. Episode 1 has set us up to, generally speaking, believe the superficial framing of the siblings as portrayed in its promotional art:

The question that we then ask, right at the heart of it is… why is he a doormat? We explore this in his dream sequence in Episode 2, which does make it clear that the boy’s not okay but— it’s real easy, given the priming from Episode 1 to make you think that he’s the one with the originally functional moral compass, to think that that him being fucked up is damage done to him by Nina’s death and being bound to Ashley for his entire life. She corrupted him.

But, well, is that the case?

You're primed to ignore this as manipulation (which it is) but the best manipulation has some truth to it.

Precisely two things spur Andrew to action in the entire game, consistently — they are the fear of consequences and Ashley. And the first incident of that fear, the very first time we’re shown his seeming moral compass as a kid — the first time it’s really hammered home that it’s a fear of consequences rather than any true moral qualms is after Nina’s death. And why does he fear consequences here?

……

The ‘natural’ read that many take away from this sequence, particularly those who have only played Decay, is that Ashley browbeat him into doing this against his will, using emotional blackmail to overwhelm his objections, and then used the event itself to bind him to her forever as her personal doormat.

In a strict sense, this is true. But this doesn’t match up with the details, something the game uses shock to encourage you to overlook. That outburst is before any kind of threat has been made, and absolutely nothing either of them say anything about it being morally bad until Ashley weaponises ‘you’re a bad person’ against Andrew — morality didn’t seem to enter his mind or the equation at all until Ashley brought it up. More than that, his greatest fear and driving motivation even prior to that is, as shown above, being taken away from Ashley.

She, of course, recognises this and uses it against him. But she never needed to, it didn’t change anything about Andrew’s attachment to her, it was there to address her own insecurities.

Just like to touch on how a lot of his affirmations are preceded by him confirming her insecurities.

I adore this phrasing

There’s a second prong to this as well, to the question of ‘who really calls the shots here’ because — Andrew can, at any stage, apply an ‘ultimate veto’ of physical violence. The game is very clear to the player that that is on the table — even when they were children, when Andy swears their blood oath, he briefly considers killing her — and take note of how he ultimately got a ‘winning’ condition out of her by not specifying there wouldn’t be others and she is forced to accept that, there. Even outside of their most serious confrontations, Ashley is portrayed as having to convince, manipulate or otherwise coerce Andrew into going along with her schemes — she really can’t make him do anything, she doesn’t have the supremacy in violence and, to a lesser extent, capability that would allow her to.

Andrew, you are like ten years old.

The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don’t mean in the sense that I’m saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this. He needs her.

But it’s true that he hates her, too. He has to hate her, because if he doesn’t hate her, if he isn’t forced to have done this, that means… he’s responsible. And nothing, at the start of the story, is as important to Andrew as avoiding the consequences of his own actions, not even Ashley. By the midpoint, he loves her, he hates her, he can’t live without her, he wants to kill her — by the end… well, that depends if you’re on Decay or Burial, but more on that in a bit.

A great scene to study for this dynamic is the climax of Episode 1, when Andrew grabs Ashley by the throat and considers strangling her to death. She’s pushed him too far with hurtful words and assault, and he’s seemingly had enough.

It’s still framed as a question of risk, of consequences happening to him.

Like, this is not the usual behaviour of someone who’s been pushed past their breaking point.

He tells Ashley that he wants to kill her, because she’s just going to throw another fit and that’s a risk to him. She is… not framed as being able to fight back (she does have a gun here, and more on that in a later essay, maybe). He’s so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence here, which isn’t at all what you’d expect of someone about to commit a crime of passion… but it’s very easy to overlook because of the abuser/victim narrative that the player fits his behaviour into the narrative that the game primes them to accept, brushing incongruities under the carpet.

At the start of Episode 2, we get to control Andrew for the first time, and the first obvious holes in his cover start to show. Some of this is optional — you only learn that he’s been faking having nightmares in order to share a bed with Ashley if you choose to go back into the motel room and check the bed, for example — but not all of it.

----(See reblogs for the second half)

#the coffin of andy and leyley #tcoaal #andrew graves #ashley graves #spoilers #multipost

1K notes · View notes

k1ngpin42 · 1 month

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𝕀𝕥 𝕙𝕦𝕣𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝕀𝕥'𝕤 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕤𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦

✨Popular Abby x quiet reader��

I’m sorry I really yapped on at the start, I used to be a wp writer so it’s kinda engraved in my thought process sorry, (I'll put the keep reading part where it get's interesting.) Smut will be in bold tho if u don’t wanna do allat 🤪

MINORS DON’T INTERACT: read at your own risk but there will be mature themes and minors really shouldn’t have Tumblr in the first place. Bare minimum 16+ plsss

——————————————————————————

Warnings: Fisting/fingering (receiving), cunnilingus (receiving and giving), strap on (finally I know- (receiving)), Dominant Abby, provocative sub reader, choking, hickeys, restraints

You had been with the WLFS for almost three months now. You had managed to impress some people during your first month with your shooting skills in addition to stealth combat and how crafty you were. People, specifically Isaac, found you to be an asset. In theory, you were the ideal friend and even partner, however trying to make friends was much more difficult than it should be, especially when the world you lived in was so fucked. You had some, sure, a nice girl called Chloe was your best friend and you had a few others you were close with. It didn’t help that you were known for never going to events and it also didn’t help that one person in particular liked to gloat about it.

Abby Anderson, Isaacs favourite, built like a fucking war hero with muscles bigger than most men and beauty to match them. She was very picky with who she went on patrol with. It was Manny and Owen or Owen or Manny, no outsiders ever. You had asked to join once on a mission you knew you could have been very helpful in, but Abby denied it faster than she could ask your own name. After that, she went out of her way to make sure the embarrassment really hit, asking you to get their weapons for them, making sure Isaac assigned you where you would see her coming back and fourth from the mission she had so confidently denied you from.

You were in the library, if you could call it that. It was really just an old locker room which now had a bunch of books in it, mostly uninteresting. Everyone knows the good shit had to get smuggled in, but you were right out of trading supplies. It’s not like you got many items of value in the first place, everyone else in your patrol groups would take the majority of the rewards, and you were too much of a people pleaser to say anything.

Chloe walks in and your smile widens, your shoulders dropping as you let out a breath with all your tension inside it. Holy fuck, you didn’t realise how tense you were until now.

“Chloe!” You exclaim with a smile, waving at her. She smiles back.

“Hey…you alright?” Chloe probed. You nod.

“Mmm, yeah just…got some stuff on my mind.”

“Abby giving you trouble again?”

“God, when is she not? It doesn’t bother me though, I’ve learnt to just tune their whole group out by now.”

“Didn’t she take your clothes from the laundry and swap them with Owens?”

“…I’d…rather not talk about that.” You say quickly, putting a dull copy of some fuckin book you were reading back on the shelf.

“To be honest, you rocked his ‘chill-dad-with-no-taste’ look. At least in my opinion.” Chloe declares with a smile. You groan.

“Thanks.” You stand up, stretching and cracking your knuckles.

“She put a whole chilli in your burrito.” Chloe reminded you, not letting the subject go.

“I love spicy food.” You explain, nonchalantly. She smiles, rolling her eyes playfully.

“You hate spicy food.”

“Untrue, I love spicy food, spicy food just doesn’t love me.” Chloe sighs.

“…Okay.”

“She also-“

“I get it. Abby gets off on my embarrassment, it’s great.” You sigh with irritation. She nods sympathetically.

“Well, it’s not just Abby, Mel and Owen are also dicks.”

“Yeah, they are.” Chloes eyebrows furrow and a familiar look touches her ordinarily soft features.

“You want to say something, right?”

“I- heard Isaac assigned you with Abby, Mel, Manny and Cole to secure a shipping zone near the old station.” You laugh loudly and her face remains the same, worrying you mildly.

“Yeah, sure he did, now what’s the news?” You ask again. She says your name quietly, almost like a warning. Your smile drops. “What…?”

“I had to grab a radio from the old apartment and I overheard Isaac and Abby talking.”

“Jesus, Chloe.”

“No, no I didn’t go up I swear.”

“You heard them from all the way downstairs?” She rolls her eyes.

“They were arguing.”

“Oh great, Abby was arguing with Isaac, now I know this really is a joke.”

“It’s not a joke, okay? Abby was arguing because she didn’t want to be assigned with you. Isaac said you’re more agile and equipped for stealth than the others. He said he’s pairing you with Abby.”

You’re frozen. Fucking frozen in time and space.

“No…”

“Hey, hey, hey you’re gonna be just fine.”

“Oh my god…” You gasp.

“She’s friends with three thirds of the WLFS in here, if they all like her she’s gotta have some good qualities?” Chloe attempts.

“I don’t love how unconfident about that you sounded. Fuck I can’t fucking believe this.”

“You said you didn’t mind her now though, right?”

“Well that was a fucking lie wasn’t it!” You say, and you both burst out laughing.

“Oh fuck I’m so gonna have my head bashed against a wall aren’t I?”

“Uh…may your death be swift?” You sigh.

“Thank you.”

The door opens harshly, making an echoey bang as it hits the wall. You and Chloe both whip your head around to see Abby, standing there in all her glory. You roll your eyes.

“We’re in a library asshole, you probably don’t come in here much, or know how to read- for that matter, but you’re typically meant to be quiet in these-“ “Ah, if it isn’t the two nerdiest people left on the planet.”

“Speak of the devil.” Chloe whispers. Abby smirks, looking into your eyes.

“Ah, you were talking about me? No surprise there-“

“Fuck you.”

“Mmm, I bet you’d like that too.” Her words shock you and you give Chloe a look through the side of your eye. She returns this by giving you a little shrug of confusion.

“I’m here to set up ground rules. If you even want to step one of your dainty little feet in the direction of me or my friends, you’d do your best to follow it, okay?”

“Good, I’ve got some boundaries I’d like to set up as w-“

“Shut the fuck up.” Abby interrupts. You roll your eyes.

“Okay first of all, don’t talk unless it’s strictly about the mission or someone asks you a question. Second of all, don’t ask me why, if I tell you to do something do it and last of all don’t fuck things up. I can add more rules as I see fit as well.” Abby states.

“You’re a fucking psychopath.” You mutter to yourself and Abby smiles widely. You hug Chloe tightly before you leave, placing a hand on her pale face.

“You’re gonna be fine.” She mouths. You nod and turn to follow Abby out the hallway in silence for some time until she randomly stops in her tracks. She clears her throat.

“Go get our weapons.” You open your mouth to object, but you can’t be fucked wasting words on her. You don’t reply before heading in to the armoury.

“I need Abby’s usual, Manny’s usual and I’ll take a pistol and a silenced literally anything, please.” The man looks at you a little suspiciously, but nods, walking over to the weapon wall.

“Why isn’t Abby just getting them herself?” He asks, not in an overly probing way.

“She prefers me to do stuff for her.” You explain. “Oh, cute.” He says, handing you the things. You look at him, bitterly.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, I thought you meant you were…”

“Nope. Do you have any daggers?”

“Daggers…? What century is this? BC?”

“Fine, knifes, then?”

“Here.” He says, handing you a rather average looking metal blade. You sigh.

“Thanks…”

“The ammos on the side of that crate over there.” You nod, giving him a fond expression.

“Thanks.” You say as a rather devious thought comes to mind. You grab a box of Abbys ammo and make your way to the shooting range. As swift as you can, you turn it on and hit the bullseye over and over until there’s just over 10 bullets left in the packet.

“Hmm…” You murmer, looking down at the gun. “Fuck it.” You say, shooting four more bullets. You quickly make your way back to Abby, quickly putting your ammo and weapons in your bag.

“Took you long enough.” She says simply, trying not to laugh at all the shit you’re holding. You roll your eyes.

“You try carrying all of it then.”

“Are you implying I’m stronger than you?” She teases. You continue to glare at her.

“Is the air thin in here?” You question, and Abby looks confused, opening her mouth to retort but you stop her.

“Or is it just the size of your ego making it hard to fucking breathe.” You say. She shrugs, still smirking smugly.

“Who could know?”

You and Abby head over to the wagon and Mel immediately stands up. You sigh.

“Fuck me.” You murmer, and through the side of your eye you see Abby give you a look of what could be mistaken as sympathy, if that girl possessed the capacity for that emotion.

“It’s you.” Mel says, as if the words are physically hurting her to say. You sigh, forcing a fake smile.

“Yep, hey Mel.” Alice runs over to you, leaning her legs against you and kissing you all over.

“Hi beautiful girl.” You utter quietly as you stroke your fingers through her fur. Abby watches you intently, fighting a smile at how affectionate you were. Mel looked less than impressed.

“Come on Alice, here.” She beckoned. You roll your eyes as Alice hesitantly returns to her place beside Mel. Owen sits down aggressively, crossing his arms and looking away from you.

What the fuck is with these people? They don’t even know you. Manny sit’s next to the driver and you sigh as you sit beside Owen. He was a repulsive guy, childish, looked weird, smelt weird and his only personality trait was his relationship with Mel that everyone was so obsessed with. ‘The couple,’ you had heard them be referred to as. So fucking dramatic.

“Did you hear that Brenda’s sister snuck in to that party last night, drank half the liquor and then tried to kiss like 10 guys there?” Abby laughs. Mel shrugged.

“Owen and I were busy, so no.” She says, and they both smirk. Gag.

“You should have seen Manny’s moves, he did a full flip, I wish I could have recorded it.”

“Oh yeah Aidan told me! What a guy.” Owen remarks, placing his hand in Mels.

“Abby how have you been sleeping these days?” Mel questions. This catches your attention but Abby just dismissively shakes her head.

“Fine.” She said, signalling at you with her head. You would rather be in a room of clickers right now.

“Hey, um…where do you sit?” Mel asks you. You look at her, a little surprised.

“Um…what?”

“Well I never see you, so.”

“Oh…I sit with Chloe, Sophie…sometimes Beatrice and Whitney too.” Her expressions remain unchanged and the others look at each other, clearly not familiar with those names or people.

“I’ve…heard of Whitney, I think. She plays the games right?” Abby asked. You glare at her.

“Yeah.” You say simply.

When the wagon finally arrived and you handed out the weapons to everyone, Abby immediately started assigning roles.

“Okay so um, Cole will stay here and scout the perimeter, guard the exits and the truck, I’ll go with Manny to take out whoever, Owen you can go with Mel to get the supplies.”

“Um okay what am I supposed to do?” You practically spit. She sighs.

“Go with Owen and Mel then I don’t care.”

“Hey fuck that she’s not going with us!” Owen says. Mel hits him playfully.

“Owen..” She says, only pretending to care.

“Isaac assigned me to do stealth take downs because brutes like you have no agility, I’m better off with you.” You tell Abby plainly. She looks at you, annoyed.

“Fuck it, we’ll all cut through that building and we’ll go from there.” She says, and everyone nods, Owen still looking considerably more irritable than the others.

“I’m gonna make sure this rooms clear.” Manny says.

“Oh, I’ll go with you-“ Abby starts to say, but he shakes his head.

“No that’s fine, do you want to go with me?” He asks you. You smile slightly.

“Yes, sure.” You say, feeling quite grateful. You walk through the room and check the benches and cupboard for suppliesf. You find some parts and start using a large item on the edge of a bench to adjust one of your weapons.

“What are you doing?” He asks. You smile cautiously at him.

“I’m refining the scope.” “With just that?”

“Well, yeah.” You explain awkwardly. He chuckles and you turn to face him, confused.

“Well shit, you’re actually smart, huh?”

“Um…I don’t know.” You laugh back. He walks over, examining the weapon more closely.

“You think you can upgrade one of my weapons?” “Sure, which one?”

“My pistol, the recoil on that is shithouse.” You can’t help but laugh.

“I’m sorry ‘shit house?’” You ask, still laughing. He smiles back.

“It is what I say.”

“Let me look at it.” He hands you his gun and you examine it closely, getting some tools out of your pack.

“The hammer spring’s smashed. Here.” You unclip the flashlight from your shirt.

“Aim the light on that part there.” You instruct, and he nods, watching as you replace it. You look around the room and find a mostly in tact glass bottle. You approach it and line it up on the bench.

“Try it now.” You say, and he nods, shooting the bottle from a safe distance.

“Oh shit, that’s heaps better.”

“It’s no problem.” You say, your face feeling rather hot. He lets out a deep breath.

“I know being put with our group isn’t ideal.” He starts. You groan, feeling a pep talk approaching.

“They’ll see how good you are.”

“Oh yeah, how? By doing free weapon upgrades?” You mock. He laughs.

“It’s a good start.”

“Did you know Abby put an entire chilli in my food?” He sighs. “She can be…petty.” Manny explains.

“What did I even do?”

“I don’t know, she seems, and don’t tell her I told you this but…obsessed with you. Ever since you wanted to join our patrol that day she made it her whole personality.”

“Ugh, I know right? ‘Look at that loser’ sounds familiar I’m guessing?”

“Um, not really, she talks about you pretty genuinely. It’s more ‘did you hear she slipped past that massive scar base without alerting them? And “did you see what she was wearing?”

“Mmm of course cause she made me wear her crusty ex boyfriends clothes all day. Did you know Mel accused me of sleeping with, quote unquote “her man” when she saw me in those?” Manny wheezes at this comment.

“They’re quite an intense pair.” He admits.

You two return to the others and your eyes immediately fan to Abby’s body. She’s wearing a sleeveless black top and she was clearly lifting something heavy because there was a light dusting of sweat all the way up her arms. You could also tell because of her veins. Fuck, her veins. Her veins were so visible.

God what is wrong with you? No, what is wrong with her? How dare she look so fucking….fuckable? Only to be a genuine dick AND like men? What a waste.

“There’s a lot of them, but if we split into groups we can take them by surprise. Manny, with me.” Abby instructs. You force yourself out of your daydream when Manny taps you on your shoulder.

“Come.” He says, and you follow them out, staying prone in the grass.

“We’ll need to be stealthy, I can go and you guys can stay here and cover me.” You suggest. Abby scoffs.

“No fucking way.”

“You’ve already seen me do more-“

“We’re not putting you in danger!” Abby says quickly. She anxiously avoids eye contact.

“Of…the mission, I mean. You’ll compromise it easy.”

“Abs, this girl is resourceful. At the first sign of trouble we’ll be there, but let her do what she’s here for.” Manny tries. Abby rolls her eyes and then look into yours for what feels like an eternity.

“First. Sign.” She warns. You nod.

“Thank you.” You say, sneaking out towards the group.

“I don’t fucking like this Manny.”

“She’ll be fine.”

“What? That’s not what- ugh…” She says before accepting her defeat and letting the silence win. She watches you the entire time. The way you skilfully pick off the men who are there is like a work of art and your movements are smoother than silk. You enter one of the buildings where Abby and Manny’s vision of your is corrupted. Manny looks over at Abby and is surprised to be witnessing such panic on her face.

“Are you alright Abs?” He asks. She doesn’t reply.

“Abby?”

“Fuck.” She says, before jumping down out of their spot.

“Abby what the actual fuck-“ He mutters as he climbs down beside her and they scurry into some grass.

“What the fuck are you doing? They’ll see us.” Manny protests. Abbys sighs.

“Oh yeah? Well if she gets shot in there who will be there to get the stuff?”

“No one’s gonna get anything if they shoot US for getting out of cover, Abs.” One of the men holding a large rifle stops, looking around.

“Finn?” A woman asks him. He continues looking around, shining his light through the grass.

“I thought I heard something.” The woman nods.

“Keep your guard up.” She tells him. Abby groans.

“How do we get in the building now??” She whisper-shouts. Manny thinks for a moment.

“I think we need to take them both out.”

“Okay, let’s do it.” They crawl towards the building when, to their dismay, Abby’s foot crunches on some broken glass.

“Fuck-“

“WHAT WAS THAT?” Finn calls, alerting you. You hear several gunshots and consider whether or not you should run towards them. It could be Abby or Manny. No, just stick to your mission, you were almost at the jackpot. Right when you get to the safe you start spinning the dial until you hear Manny’s voice.

“Look out!” More gunshots. They probably had it under control, they’re strong, unstoppable really, and Abby would be enraged if she found out you were right in front of the supplies and went to rescue her instead.

“Abby?” Manny calls, desperately. That did it, you run behind the next cover and dive into the grass to look for her. A man points his gun at her and you quickly shoot him with your silenced gun, grabbing her arm and pulling her into you. She falls over you, pinning you under her and using her arms as support on the grass on either side of your head. You’re startled, feeling her warm breath on your face, seeing her eyes up close.

“Abby what are you doing here?” You demand once you finally find your words again.

“I…we’ll talk about it later, where the fuck are my bullets?” Your face goes numb.

“Um…” You say. She practically yells.

“UGHH WHY?”

“Okay well why are you always a dick to me man?? I didn’t expect you to be taking down an entire camp…if you had just trusted me-“

Abby get’s off of you and you sit up.

“You TOOK my bullets?? Give them back.”

“No.”

“Give. Them back.”

“I used them okay??” Abby grabs you, pulling you so you’re standing. Your heart races as she does this.

“Fine, you’re coming with me, we’re getting more bullets.”

“I found the safe.” You blurt out. Abby stops dragging you, letting out a deep breath and smiling ever so slightly.

“Thank god, did you get the supplies?”

“Um…” Abbys groans again at your response.

“And WHY…not?” She asks. Your face flushes crimson.

“I heard you scream.” You admit. You lower your voice to a whisper so quiet that it’s almost inaudible. “I was worried.” You add. Her face softens.

“Alright, that’s fine, we’ll take them out first and come back to it. Let’s just get these fucking bullets since you feel the need to fuck everything up even though I said before we started-“

“Hey you fucked up too, okay?” Abbys rolls her eyes.

“Irrelevant. Now let’s go.”

You follow her into a room and hear a massive bang sound from behind it, feeling the ground shake as a result.

“Abby…”

“Fuck, we’re locked in aren’t we?”

“Try the door.” You say. She lets out a huff.

“If this doesn’t open I’m never letting you come with me again.”

“You’re so annoying, Abs.” You say, and she turns back from the door to face you.

“I’ve never heard you call me anything other than Abby, asshole or dick.” She states. You smile.

“Oh I’m sorry, did I leave ‘motherfucker’ and ‘ignorant, arrogant asshole’ off the list, Abigail?”

“Abigail?” She asks, and your neck feels hot when you say it. She was right, it did feel unnatural.

“I like that.” Remarks Abby, trying the door handle and coming to the conclusion that you were, indeed, locked in.

“What…your name? You really do have an ego second to none.” “Only when you say it.” She tells you in a manner you haven’t heard before. It was sort of…kind? Or something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“Abigail? Or Abby?” She smiles wider.

“I think it was part of the roof that fell.” Abbys says and your mind is still lingering on her previous comment.

“What makes you say that?” You question, taking a seat on the floor.

“I saw crack marks on it when we entered and there wasn’t anything else around us that could be blocking the door. No shelves, no fridges, nothing.”

“If it really was part of the ceiling, we’ll never get this door open.”

“Okay, well…see if there’s another way out.” Abby instructs.

“Always so authoritative.” You remark, and she raises an eyebrow with intrigue.

“What was that?” She asks.

“Forget it.” You stand up and look around.

“There’s a small window but it’s really high up, even if you boost me I wouldn’t be able to get up there.

“Fuck. I guess we’re going to have to wait for Manny to clear the rest of them, we’ve already taken out a fair few.”

“Even if Manny does take them all out, how’s he going to find us through all this debris?”

“I- you talk a lot.” Abbys says. God you could hit her.

She sits down now too.

“You’re giving up?” You question. She shrugs.

“We’re gonna be stuck here a while, possibly for the end of our lives, might as well not waste our breath.”

“I’ve always loved your optimism.” You tease, and she looks away to hide her approaching smile.

“Why did you join the WLFS anyway?” She questions after some time. You look over at Abby, confused.

“What happened to wanting me to shut up?”

“Fine.” She replies, grimly. You chuckle softly, taking a seat beside her.

“My last camp was close to a large group of these brutal raiders. My group always believed in each other, thought we were all we ever needed but, it was safer to form allies. We were relocating when we discovered those seraphites you’re so fond of. When we took them out the WLFS thought we were doing them a solid or something, invited us to join the WLFS if Isaac thought us decent enough.”

“Oh. Cool.” She says, lamely. You just smile, letting the quiet fill the room again.

“You’re not gonna ask why I joined?” Abby asked. You can’t help but laugh at this.

“Wow, you are…something else Abigail.” Abby doesn’t say anything, her cheeks becoming a light shade of pink.

“Besides, I know where you’re from. You were in a firefly group at salt lake.”

“I’m sorry, what? How did you-“

“My friend works in the apartments. The walls there are thin.”

“Oh. What…else do you know about me?”

“Practically nothing." You say, thinking a while. "I’ve seen you looking at different coins in the main hall late at night like they’re the prettiest thing you’ll ever see. Do you collect them or something?” Abby, still surprised, nods.

“Yeah, some dumb thing my dad used to do. We collect quarters. Collected.” She corrects. You nod.

“You got them here?” Her face warms up as she grabs her bag, pouring the pile of coins into her hand.

“This one’s from Virginia, 1788. I found these ones around the stadium, this is um, from Alaska, Mane, New Jersey and the last one I found was from Vermont.” She explains in a tone so giddy it makes you want to laugh, but you don’t, you just listen intently.

“You think it’s stupid?”

“I think it’s adorable.” You tease, and in reality, you really did. “My friend, Chloe, collects magazines. She’s got like 500 or something crazy.”

“500?”

“Well…49, but it really does seem like a lot.” You explain, and she laughs gently. Once the laughter dies down, you wrestle with yourself internally. Should you mention it? You really shouldn’t, but what else did you have to lose?

“Abby, why are you so mean to me?” You ask.

“I’m not mean. My pranks are funny.” Abby replies, defensively.

“Are they?” You ask, not looking at her directly. Abby hesitates.

“Yeah, I guess not.”

“So why do you do it?”

“I like harassing you.” She says. You stand up and storm angrily to the other end of the room.

“Fine, be like that.”

“No it’s… my friends.” You don’t turn around, but you stop pacing.

“What?” You order. She sighs.

“My friends and I…only hang out with certain people, you know?”

“Wow….”

“No what, what I mean is they wouldn’t appreciate if I was friends with someone different. People would talk and I didn’t want anything to change so I decided being mean to you was the only way we could talk.”

“Abby that is fucking stupid and petty you actual dick! FUCK I could just…HIT YOU.” Abby snorts at your comment. You sigh.

“Fine, maybe I couldn’t, but I still hate you.”

“Don’t.” “Don’t what, fuckwit?”

“Don’t…hate me. I know it’s shallow but being popular, going to parties, it’s the only fucking distraction I have. I work out or party to avoid sleeping, you know? I’m friends with heaps of people because I’m scared that if my group was small enough, they’d see through…me.” You sigh and walk back to her.

“Who knew Abby Anderson had ‘layers?’ You teased with a small smile. Abby forced a smile too, clearly feeling vulnerable.

“Why wouldn’t they like you? The real you who doesn’t poison peoples food?”

“Oh please it was one chilli, it was good for you!” She defends, her smile becoming increasingly more genuine. You smile back.

“Cause I’m angry…and selfish.” Abby admits. You sit down beside her and put a hand on her leg.

“You just exposed yourself to a group of armed men and women with like 4 bullets in your gun to make sure I wasn’t in trouble. I wouldn’t call that selfish.”

“It was incredibly selfish.” “Why?” You ask, softly. She stands up, turning away from you. You stand up too.

“Abby…?”

“Because I let my feelings get in the way. I could have killed you, or Manny.” You feel a chill over your body and you don’t know whether it’s the temperature or her words.

“What…feelings?” You ask, and she turns around and kisses you harshly on your lips, taking you by surprise and making your hands frail around desperately in that confusion.

“I know about you too.” She says, and you’re breathing heavily, surely in some level of shock.

“I know how much you love animals, how you collect knives and are crafty. You hate spicy food, and olives, you love onions, your favourite colour is purple and you always wear a bit of colour in your hair. You can sing, you can cook, and you constantly impress others, and particularly me. You don’t particularly like reading but you can recite any line from just about any movie and I know that because at movie nights I see you mouthing the words, it’s adorable. You always have your feet up on another chair when sitting in meetings, you always double knot your shoe laces because you suck at tying them and you know what I hate about you?”

You don’t know how to respond, you can’t even think real thoughts at this point, so you just let her answer.

“I hate that you hate me because all I’ve ever wanted was to be your friend.” Abby breathes out. She shakes her head.

“That’s not true, I want to be more than that.” Your mouth is open and your wide eyed, not knowing what to say, or do.

“You were such a dick to me.” You say quietly, your eyes on the floor. Abby nods.

“Let me make it up to you?” She asks. You nod and that’s all it takes before Abby’s lips are crashing on yours again and her tongue is deep inside your mouth, tasting you like she’s been starved for a week. She puts both of her large hands on your face as she does this, moaning into the kiss as the tension from both of your bodies starts to calm.

“Can I? I mean, do you want to?” Abby questions, and you nod with a massive smile on your face.

✨SMUT✨

She tears your shirt off, immediately applying firm pressure on your warm skin with both hands as she explores and familiarises herself with your body. She looks at your tits and the way they sit perfectly in a light blue bra.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous.” She exclaims before unclipping your bra and fondling your breasts.

“So fucking sexy.” She hums, delicately rubbing your nipples between her fingers.

“mmm…What about Manny?” You ask. She shrugs.

“May his survival be long.” She says, lowering herself to the ground and your pants along with her.

“Hmm.” She says, clearly unsatisfied with the current conditions. She stands back up and slams you against the wall, supporting your head with one of her wide hands.

“Suck.” She says, pressing her two middle fingers to your lips. You do so without protest and enjoy the way her long fingers push further into your mouth. She removes them quickly, letting a long string of saliva soak her hand.

She pushes them both inside you with no warning, curling the tips of her fingers and moving your clit with her thumb.

“H….holy fuck~” You cry out. This whole situation was so unexpected. You thought you hated her but now Abbys fingers you were always thinking about were actually inside of you, and it felt fucking unreal.

“This doesn’t make us…mmm~ okay, you realise?” Abby smirks.

“If I make you cum will you forgive me for being a dick?” You thrust slightly into her fingers, letting out a loud moan.

“You were a dick more than once.” You manage to say. She grabs you by the neck and kisses you deeply, still playing with you using her fingers.

“Challenge accepted.” She starts practically slamming her fingers inside you, watching you squirm and cry out.

“A…abby-“ “It’s okay, my girls doing good, you can take it.”

“Hurts…” “Just a little longer for me baby.” Abby coos, not letting up her speed. She starts kissing and sucking on your neck as hard as she fucking can, tasting you, admiring you.

“Abby…I’m…gonna….”

“You’re gonna cum already? Aw, alright, show me how good it feels.”

“It f…mmm…”

“I said show me baby.” She says, putting in a third finger.

“MMM!” You cry and she puts her other hand in your mouth, letting you suck it eagerly again. Slowing down ever so slightly, she takes her hand out of your mouth.

“Take a deep breath for me.” Abby instructs, her face riddled with focus. You blush, your eyes struggling to stay open.

“Wh…why?” She whispers a safe word in your ear.

“You say this if its too much okay?” You nod and she forces a fourth finger inside you.

“H…holy…Abby…”

“You’re doing so good baby.”

“I feel so full…don’t….don’t-“

“I know you can take it, look how easily my fingers can slide inside you, you can fit one more for me can’t you?”

“Mmm….mmm…hurts.”

“Say the safe word then.” You finally look at her, still blushing and she chuckles smugly.

“You won’t will you? You want it to hurt, you want your pussy filled with me you’re just too afraid to ask. Admit it.”

“…No.” You try. God, it doesn’t even sound real to you. She just laughs.

“Try again or I’ll stop.”

“Fuck, fuck yes I like it…I like it rough, I want it to hurt just- please don’t stop.” You blurt out, wrapping your arms around her neck to support yourself. She nods and slowly eases her fist into you, making you moan.

“Fuckkkkk, fuck Abigail….” “See? I knew you could do it.” “Fuck….mmm…you..” You stutter. She smiles.

“Fuck me yourself, coward.” Heat swells inside your stomach and slick starts leaking down your thighs and fuck, Abbys never been more turned on in her life. She gets on her knees and licks it eagerly, sucking at your inner thighs and then your pussy.

“Tastes so good.” Abby mumbles between your thighs, moaning as she tongues between your folds. You let out a whimper as she sucks sloppily at your cunt.

Your hand grabs onto her hair, pulling her head in more and practically riding her face.

“Mmm, so…so…” Is all you can manage. She keeps going, using her mouth and fingers at the same time.

“Fuck…fuck….cumming…cu-“ You cry out as you shut your eyes tightly. When Abby returns to your height, her face is glistening. You blush brightly.

“I…um.” You say. She grabs your chin to open your mouth and kisses you passionately, moving her head around to make sure her tongue explores every angle before taking a breath.

“You taste…fuck….” Abby says, grabbing you and pushing you onto the floor.

“Take off your clothes.” You tell her. She smiles, smugly.

“Where’d your manners go?”

“I thought you weren’t gonna be a dick anymore.” You huff. She smiles brightly at you.

“Mmm, that’s right. Wait here then.” She says, walking over to her bag and taking out a black strap. It’s over 6 inches for sure, you guess 7 or 8. You’re not sure what to think.

“I guess that whole ‘I know your favourite colour’ speech was bullshit then. Do you expect to fuck all girls you take on patrol?” You ask, bitterly. She puts her large hand on your cheek, rubbing her thumb over your skin delicately.

“You’re so precious. It’s not…for fucking. I never know how long I’m gonna be stranded somewhere so…I use it. On myself.” She explains. You can’t help but laugh.

“Shut up.” She says, hiding her own smile.

“Aw, can’t handle a patrol without your vibrator, huh? Do you get all tense?”

“Shut. Up.”

“You’re all talk, I bet no one’s ever made you cum, right? That’s why you need this pretty piece of plastic?” You question, not sure where this sudden confidence boost is coming from. Abby blushes.

“I’m gonna make you shut up soon.” She warns. You smirk.

“How many women have you been with?” You ask her. She gives you a death glare.

“Ah, so none.”

“Shut the fuck up. I can still fuck you better than you’ll ever be fucked and that attitude will go along with your ability to walk.”

“Soo defensive.” You tease. She grabs your hands, pinning them down roughly.

“You’re not gonna be this chatty in a second.” She says, letting go of your hands and putting the strap on. You use this break to push all your body strength onto her and start unzipping her pants.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” She laughs, pinning you back down effortlessly. You roll your eyes.

“Please will you just let me taste you…”

“After that little display?” Abby just laughs, taking her shirt off and using it to bind your hands together tightly.

“My fucking girl.” Abby grumbles, and it sounds almost like an order. She towers over you, grabbing onto your jaw with one hand.

“Open your mouth.” Abby orders. You consider putting up a fight, but she’s so intimidating and strong, you don’t know what she’d do. Maybe that excited you more, but you didn’t want to push your luck right now. Your mouth parts obediently and she guides almost the entire strap in your mouth, not giving a fuck whether you gag on it or not.

“Remember who you belong to when you’re gagging on my dick, baby. I don’t take kindly to people who provoke me.” You just whimper as your saliva completely covers the strap. She doesn’t stop though, not for a few more minutes of your precious sounds. She holds your hair as you suck it and already this is one of the best things either of you had experienced. It made you forget about how hard, cold and potentially dirty the floor was. It made you in particular forget how many times Abby had acted so pathetic and childish when it turns out all she wanted was to be something for you. And even though it was still in your mind, it made the reality that Manny could be in danger seem like a distant memory.

She finally removed the strap from your mouth and forcefully pulled open your legs, thrusting into you slowly. “Mmmm….” You moan, lowly. She watches as it goes in and you can tell it made her wet too. She continues at that painfully slow pace, holding your pinned arms as she does so.

“Abby…don’t be a- oh fuck- a tease…” You say, desperately. She smirks again.

“So eager. If you can manage to be completely quiet, I’ll take my shirt off for you, okay?” She asks. You look away, nervously. This is what you had imagined whenever you passed the gym and saw her use her tank top to wipe sweat from her face. You’d see the men around her take off their shirts to work out and at that moment and that moment only, you had wished she was a man just so she could do the same. Another part of you didn’t want anyone else to see a shirtless Abby, though. Yes you would much prefer the private showing she was offering you. Fuck, you’d do anything to see it. When you’d pass her apartment and hear the shower run, your mind would go crazy. You wondered if it would live up to your fantasies.

“M’ I to take your silence as a yes, gorgeous?” You nod enthusiastically and she starts increasing her pace, then, seeing how well you handled that, her pressure as well. Fuck, that had almost got you. You loved how rough she could be with you because you knew she’d balance it perfectly. She’d never hurt you, she had proven that.

“Wow, look how good you can be.” You don’t say anything, but you would let out a desperate squeak at her praise. She thrust harder and you wanted to scream, biting your lip to stop yourself.

“You did so good for me, baby.” She says, slowing down slightly but not stopping as she takes off her shirt. You gape at the sight of her glistening chest in a pretty, pale bra. Fuck…you’d do anything to have her tits in your mouth, to have your hands free and play with them, to treasure them like fucking artefacts.

“Like what you see?” She asks. You whimper in response and she lets out a light chuckle.

“Mmm, I’ll take that as a yes. You almost there, baby?”

“Fuck…yes Abby I’m close…please will you take off the binds?” And for a moment, it seemed like Abby was considering it before she thrust more aggressively and put a hand over your neck, being cautious about how tight she squeezed.

“You’re precious.” Is how she replies, and you would hit her…if you could.

Soon, the heat between you two was growing, leaking onto the floor and each others thighs, not knowing what liquids were what and who’s belonged to who. You were so fucking close. You wanted to grip on to Abbys hair or biceps. Maybe in some other perfect world or one where the woman fucking you wasn’t Abby Anderson. Abby could tell you were close, she could see it on your face, feel it in your body and hear it in your voice. Fuck, she was becoming more in love with you at every moment.

“You gonna cum for me baby?”

“Fuck…fuck please…please can I?” She smiles so wide you were worried her face was gonna stretch. She loved hearing you beg, hearing you make sounds at all that only her ears would be blessed with,.

“Mhm.” Abby agrees, and with her permission you allow your eyes to roll back. Your legs shake ever so slightly as your glowing slick illuminates the strap and Abby’s thighs. Unlike how she had treated you before, she pulls out so gently, untying the strap from behind and pulling you in towards her so your body is against her.

She strokes your hair while hugging you still and you don’t know why it’s the most comforting thing you’ve ever felt, but you don’t complain.

“You listened so well baby. Made me feel real good.” Abby babbled. You look away, nervously and Abby picked up on your shift instantly.

“What?” She asked, softly. You sigh.

“I wanted to…” Your words trail off. Abby nods understandingly.

“Oh. You still want to do that?” She asked, and you nod your head eagerly.

“Please Abby?” You beg. She nods again.

“Only because you were so good.” She says, untying her shirt from your hands and leaning back on her elbows.

“Go on then, take what you want.” She says with another one of her signature smirks. You practically leapt to the chance, removing her bra with the flick of one hand. You immediately start licking and sucking at her tits, leaving adorable bruises in your wake. Abby gives you a warning look and you know she won’t allow it much longer, so you quickly position your head between her thighs. Her muscular, large fucking thighs, you might add.

“Can I suck it through the boxers?” You question, looking up at Abby with doe eyes. She smiles comfortingly.

“Sure.” She says, still not expecting to feel any real pleasure. That is until you suck at the lowest part of the fabric, making her pool in your mouth and drench her boxers.

“I…mmph~” The unexpected and beautiful noise leaves Abbys lips, making you want to explore more of her. You lick a trail up her concealed folds all the way up to her clit which you start drawing vicious circles over.

“F….fuck how are you- fuck….” Abby cries. She’s on the verge of orgasm already, you didn’t expect Abby of all people to be the kind of person to cum too fast, but you’re delighted to have something to tease her about later. You finally remove the boxers right before she cums and you put your tongue deep inside her. Then, you return to her clit and put your fingers inside her hole instead.

“Mmmmm.” Abby’s pornographic moan should be recorded, transformed into a vile and put straight into your lungs. And then, just like that, she’s coming, her pretty pink pussy pulsing under your tongue.

You go back up to face her.

“I knew no one had touched you like that.” You remarked. She rolled her eyes playfully. “Whatever.” Abby said, pulling you in for a tighter hug and kissing your cheek.

“Wanna go again?” Abby asked, only somewhat joking. That was until Manny’s voice echoed outside of the building they were stuck in.

“ABBY???” He yelled. He called your name too and you both quickly scrambled to put at least your shirts on. She boosts you up so you can see out the window.

“We’re in here!” You call to him. He lets out a relieved breath.

“Thank god I found you, you guys must have been so scared.” You turn over to Abby who’s watching the situation unfold with amusement.

“Yeah.” Abby calls out as loud to be audible to Manny. “We were terrified.”

#abby anderson #abby tlou #tlou2 #abby x reader #smut #18+ content #abby x fem!reader #ellie williams #ellie williams 18+

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punkpandapatrixk · 3 months

Text

🌟Blessings to Expect throughout 2024 ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘You’re always here. What are you doing?’

‘Nothing…nothing in particular.’

‘You’re Saibara’s grandson, right? Aren’t you working at the Blacksmith shop?’

‘I’m not interested in that. I want to go back to the city.’

‘Oh… I came from the city, too. My dad moved the family to this village because he was going to study plants. I felt lonely at first. But the people here are all very kind.’

‘I don’t feel lonely. But I can’t find what I want to do in this village.’

‘What is it you want that you can’t find here?’

‘Well, it’s…oh, nothing…’

‘My mother always says that if you can’t find what you want to do, then do what you can see to do now. Nobody finds what they want immediately. But if you waste your time every day because of that, you’ll never find anything... To tell you the truth, I haven’t found what I’m looking for yet, either. See you.’

— Mary and Gray’s conversation from Harvest Moon: Back To Nature

SONG: Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland

MOVIE: The Wizard of Oz (1939)

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Pile 1 – Welcoming Love, True Love

VIBE: Ready for Your Love (feat. MNEK) by Gorgon City

end of a struggle – King of Swords

You’ve been incredibly and marvellously responsible for…quite a number of years, I think? For some of you maybe a couple of months or so. But your struggles have ended; nearing ending; or you just haven’t realised yet how everything has changed for the better now. If you take a moment to really notice yourself, I’m sure you can tell just how much clearer you’ve become about many things pertaining to your surrounding and sense of Self. I feel you’ve worked really hard to overcome excessive trauma noises that have caused you a great deal of psychological pain.

Starting this year, you can feel more confident in your intellectual capacity to gauge situations right in front of you. Making choices will be a lot easier now because you’re clear about who you are as a person and what it is you truly want out of your own existence. You’ve clearly set enough boundaries with those who didn’t have your best interest. Seems to me you’ve learnt the hard way to be more selfish in the spirit of self-preservation. And so, the adventure of a lifetime begins right this moment.

In fact, I feel like your entire Life up until this point has been quite the adventure—only it has been filled with sorrow and misery, sorta. Surely it was your Hero’s Journey taking shape for the early chapters of your Life’s Story. A slow burn of a lifetime, if you will. Beginning this year, you’re entering the most exciting part of your rise to glory and everlasting happiness!

in your favour – 8 of Pentacles

You’ve been hustling behind the scenes for the most part. At least, those who aren’t close to you will never know just how much work you’ve put into bettering your world from the inside out. You worked so much on your mindset; you must’ve exercised a lot, too; tried to eat more cleanly and healthily; worked on your glow-up; brushed your skills; etc. You were investing in yourself for the future vision you’ve always held close to your heart. And for that reason, the seeds are now blooming.

You’re making me think of the bamboo plant. Did you know that a bamboo seedling takes around 5-7, maybe even 8-10, years to gestate underground? All alone in the dark without anyone knowing what’s going on down there. And when the seedling shoots up to the surface, the bamboo plant is famous for being the fastest growing plant there ever is.

So yeah~ fast or no fast in your mind, the point is that you’ve done the work on yourself and all the plans you’ve ever had for your Life. This year, 2+0+2+4=8, is the year you reap all the rewards and grow even faster from where you are now. Whatever undertaking you begin this year will gain traction super fast! Pat yourself on the back because when things get super good, you deserve to take a small break and just enjoy how far you’ve come~! Breathe~

catching stars – Page of Wands

Your Story is totally far from finished. With the Page aenergy—a kid’s aenergy—you’re only on the precipice of entering a Life of passion and purpose. You could almost say, it’s a new Story altogether just because this chapter of your Life is SO SO SO super good in comparison to the chapters about your struggles. I guess you’d call this a new arc huehue

You’re young Hercules now. Pretty soon, there will occur some big event that propels you into a bona fide hero, and then, you’ll meet your Megara~ This part of your Story is where you enter a circle of true—at least truer—friends and lovers who will motivate you throughout the next chapters of your Life. Sure, sure, struggles don’t just end, poof, like that and you will continuously need to learn to sift through these new breeds of friends and acquaintances. But that’s also part of your next level growing up, so don’t sweat the possibilities XD

Throughout 2024, you could be moving to a new environment and then meet new friends. Highkey you’re gonna be meeting Soulmates and Soul Fam members; these are the people who resemble you so much either on the inside or outside. These are people who think like you, care about the same things as you; basically you’re gonna finally feel like you truly belong somewhere on this Planet. Love is in the air because you’ve been giving so much Love to yourself before this point. You are Love. You emanate Love wherever you go because you love yourself, and thus you become a magnet for people who also will love you just as good~

APPLE STRUDEL🔻💛

honey lemon juice – Silver Magus (Merlin)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Love

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Pile 2 – Rising Up to Accept Yourself Wholly

VIBE: She Said from Kamikaze Girls

end of a struggle – Knight of Cups

You’ve kinda just gone through a death of a paradigm of sort. I feel that in the past, you simply didn’t really know who you were or what you were meant to be. This confusion of an identity was caused by your parents/caretakers not really appreciating you for who you were as a child or it could also be caused by your environment, race, culture, custom, tradition, stuff like that. It wasn’t your fault, you know. You literally grew up on your own and finally got clear about your own identity—you stopped caring if your real identity is too weird, too eccentric for this world.

Basically, you got tired of rejecting yourself. And you realised that you were doing that because you knew others wouldn’t accept you. Then you realised people are shitty and lame for the most part anyway, so you learnt to be OK with embracing all of your weird heart’s little desires. And you nurtured yourself and nurtured yourself until you rose above the lameness of most of Humanity. Did you know? You did the right thing, really. Through and through.

You’re definitely an Advanced Soul. I think even when you were a kid you always felt like there was some spirit/shadow parental figure walking behind you, guiding your thought processes. This older/bigger unseen figure was really just your own Higher Self, you know :D More than others would give you credit for, you’ve been such a good gal/boi for always listening to the guidance of your Higher Self~

in your favour – 3 of Pentacles

Beginning this year, you’re going to finally meet people who are similar to you. Similar as in, you’re going to meet a lot of colourful characters, really. People who also feel somewhat like society’s outcast. These people are going to come from various backgrounds and they will each have very interesting back stories and life experiences that will entertain you for a long time. These people could also have very strange, unusual hobbies that will spark your interest in new, alien pursuits.

With that said, this year could be the year you begin a new passion project of your own, with these people, new friends, you share a vision with. They do care about you and want to succeed together, so you can trust that these connections are going to bear sweet feelings for you. Most importantly, this year you’re going to know the sweet feeling of doing something meaningful with your natural talents born out of your innate interests. When you finally get the money, you will first and foremost taste gratitude from those who seem to love and enjoy what you do or have to offer~

Life really is getting better now because you’ve mustered the courage to explore your possibilities in all your eccentricity. Your Higher Self never meant for you to fit in anyway. You were always meant to be some sort of a genius trailblazer—a source of inspiration for the other lameass Humans who are too afraid to be themselves.

catching stars – 10 of Pentacles

What more can be said? On top of embracing yourself fully, loving yourself wholeheartedly, and meeting kindred spirits, you’re also going to gain a massive amount of money! Life’s always good when you have a lot of money! More money means a happier heart and more to share as well. But in your case, if you’ve chosen this Pile as your main pile, know that before a lot of money even trickles into your reality, it is the sense that you’re serving your Life Purpose what will make you feel rich.

After all, there could people reading this who came from a wealthy background and you may think you don’t crave or even care about money. Exactly. You never cared about a lack of money but didn’t you struggle with grounding yourself to this Reality because you didn’t know what you were put on Earth to do? This ‘10 of Pentacles sense of abundance’ encompasses a sense of material abundance that feels deserving; you can now feel worthy of getting paid for some passionate, incredible, show-stopping contribution you’ve made to society. Isn’t that such a wonderful feeling?

Some of you reading this could mend some broken bonds with family; some others could finally find a tribe—a Soul Family—and feel that you belong; some could start a family of your own with someone worthy of your high-grade affection. Congratulations~! You’ve really made it this far~ Things can only get better and better from here♥︎

APPLE STRUDEL🔻💗

honey lemon juice – Green Historian (Herodotus)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Patience

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Pile 3 – Stepping On the Pedestal of Destiny

VIBE: Cheer Up, Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

end of a struggle – King of Pentacles

If you’ve chosen this as your main pile, I just know it that you’ve been working so hard on yourself, on a level that’s practically incomprehensible for most people. I’m sure you’ve survived so many deaths of the spirit—and perhaps even some of the more dramatic attempts. And you’ve come on top of your misery now. You’ve gotten healthier and clearer about where you’re going next. I sense sometimes you still doubt yourself but it isn’t a sin to doubt, it’s just a sign that you want to do well. And on so many levels, sometimes you’re afraid because you genuinely want this dream/vision to happen to you.

I assure you with this reading that you’re on the fast track towards a rendezvous with Destiny. Fast…is honestly relative to each Soul’s blueprint tho XD Time is on your side and what’s meant for you can’t miss you. So chillax, OK? One thing to know about this great dream/vision of yours is that you’re going to see it manifest because you’re different from the rest. Different in that you want to see it manifest to be of service to the rest! When you really think about it…

Don’t you just know from deep within your Soul that you’re deserving of this great destiny? It’s because you’re going to serve a massive purpose with it! So many people would benefit from your realising this dream. And that’s the very thing! You’ve been holding on to this vision, and you want it, because you’re MEANT for it.

in your favour – 4 of Cups

I’ll be referencing the 1971 ver. of Willy Wonka here. And honestly, I think you should watch it by the weekend or something because that movie’s whole vibe will feel tremendously validating to you, I sense hahah

Have you heard of the theories that say Charlie was literally singled out by Willy Wonka from the very beginning? That he had chosen all of those horrible brats because he wanted to punish, oops, teach them a lesson, and that principally he had been watching Charlie and wanted HIM to inherit the Chocolate Factory. If you watch the 1971 film you’ll literally get it! And with this 4 of Cups, know that that’s how the Universe feels about you stepping into your destiny. Willy Wonka, or God idk, doesn’t want anybody else but YOU to fulfil this role~!

You’ve literally been chosen and singled out by the Universe to win the grand prize! Just so you know, as I’m typing these words I literally have the Willy Wonka movie playing on another window and as I typed ‘grand prize’, the person in the movie is saying it right at the same time at around the 19:11 minute mark. Things can’t get any more synchronous than that!🤯

This year, you’ll really see how every single thing is going to work out in your favour. And knowing the inner work you’ve done on yourself, I’m sure you’re spiritually mature enough to sense, to notice every small nudge that tells you what you need to do at a given time😊New adventures are just around the corner, baby~!

catching stars – 5 of Pentacles

So you see, how is 5 of Pentacles appearing for a segment about you catching stars? This is, in fact, reaffirming that your dream come true will also serve as a salve for those who are wounded and hurting. You really are a medicine for this sick world. This year, you’re going to see serendipitous events and meetings what will open the door towards the physical manifestation of your dream Reality. Once you step on to the pedestal of Destiny, there’s no stopping you. You’ll be moving so fast it drives you mad!

This card is also saying you must be careful of possible leeches coming towards you; it’s best to use caution and discernment when revealing to others your plans and goals. Be stingy with information as per your gut instinct’s nudges, OK? Be mature enough to know not everybody will be happy at the prospect of your massive success that could potentially change Mankind. People get envious of such ideas, alright? Be careful not to hit the already low self-esteem of some people around you LMAO

I also feel that this year you will begin new routines that benefit your health and physical strength. If this is something you’ve been working on, you will see this year that the implementation of these routines feels more natural and effortless. You’ve managed to master your thoughts, emotions, and time management—or soon to do. Money will also come more abundantly, so all your basic needs are easily met. You’ve become a magnet for good luck—or soon to notice you’ve done so!🍀

APPLE STRUDEL🔻🧡

honey lemon juice – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Innocence

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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justporo · 8 months

Note

Do you have any headcanons on what Astarion and Tav's home would look like? :)

You bet, I do! But I put some more thought into it over the day so may I present you with:

Domestic headcanons about what Tav's and Astarion's home in Baldur's Gate would look like

After your adventures and some looting of certain castles you go to buy a small but luxurious townhouse in the Upper City of Baldur's Gate - probably criminally under its actual worth but you two are just so convincing, aren't you?

Dark wooden floors, high windows (with thick brocade curtains of course), wrought-iron balcony and fence - it's giving gothic and dark academia but in a homey and warm way

Soft lighting everywhere, lots of candles and candelabra, a fire place of course and oil lanterns that make every room feel warm and cozy

Astarion has impeccable taste and enjoys a bit of decadence (of course) and really finds joy in picking out furniture and decorations - he's going for noble, rich, palace-y, posh vibes, but tasteful

Also Tav would stop him from going overboard - she's not used to all the pompous stuff and cares more about the pracitcality of it all; also she's definitely the one who brings in some plants and greenery; also some nice stuff for Scratch because I'm sure Tav would insist on being the one to keep him

When Tav says she'd rather likes it simple tho... "Simple, love? Everyone can have simple, but not just anyone can have beautiful!" "So... you are not denying that beautiful means more complicated?" "No, but isn't that also why you chose me after all? Because I'm intricately complicated and incredibly beautiful?" Can't argue with that logic

Tav's also focused on making it cozy though and especially creating comfy little corners where they can just lounge together: like a little alcove to sit and read or look out the window or some pillows on the wood floor so you can sit in front of the fire place

There's a chaise-longue somewhere in the house - maybe in the incredibly over-sized dressing room, so Astarion can lay on it and watch Tav dress

DEFINITELY NO MIRRORS - no need to remind Astarion of that particular part of his condition; also why would he need it if you can tell him how beautiful he is everyday?

There's also a piano (as we have learnt before *wink*) and lots of books and trinkets and artworks - Astarion likes all stuff having to do with arts

It might be messy, at least at the beginning, you're both not used to having and holding onto stuff, also Astarion's desperately trying to find himself - that comes with creative chaos

Is there even a need to mention the bed is huge? And also has very much cliché dark red silk sheets? But it's probably the piece of furniture where you spend the most of your nights, not only for mingeling but just sitting and laying there, reading, drawing, talking, teasing each other

Also at some point you'd probably get a joint portrait but you don't want it to be too stiff and regal rather wanting it to show how much joy you give each other

The kitchen is to spoil Tav: when Astarion finds out you enjoy cooking and are pretty skilled at it he gets you all the best equipment he can find - even though you don't know how to use half of it - yet

Oof, I could maybe keep going some more... Thanks for the message, it was fun to think about this. (Also I know I might be swinging between medieval and more victorian vibes but hush, it's a fictional world where everything is possible) Also I knew I wouldn't yet do requests - but really that was just me putting something out there I already thought about. And I'll do some requests soon!

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seongclb · 10 months

Text

CUPID’S MISTAKE ! sim jaeyun

♫ crybaby by the neighbourhood

SYNOPSIS. you’ve never understood why he gets so many dates all the time, he’s bloody insufferable. you can’t stand him at all, yet everyone else is crazy for him. i guess, you’ll find out what’s so irresistible about himself, soon. after all, he’s planning your valentines date together already.

PAIRING. playboy!enha x reader, slight enemies to lovers au, angst & fluff.

WARNINGS. cursing, suggestive ish make outs but they’re not that bad & jake being MEANNN.

WORD COUNT. almost 9k (8,976)

N. hi guys it’s finally out! member reveal omg !! feel like this fic could have been way better but i promise to make the next not as rushed and rubbish :( lmk what u guys think thoughhh .. also big thank you to @dazed-hee for beta reading :)

TAGLIST. @delcakoo2 @flwrshee @woon2u @rikizm @luckyowl @luvistqrzzz @mrchweeee @seungiesluv @x-mbl

1. I THINK I TRY TOO HARD.

You always hated the first days of school, but for some reason, they had always summed up your year perfectly. Something about them was always so exciting.

Every first day of school for four years now, you started your day with a Starbucks accompanied by your best friends: Yunjin and Taehyun. The sweet taste of the coffee greeting your tastebuds first thing in the morning paired with your - somewhat - lovely best friends. They spent the entire morning bickering, but still, it was a pleasant start to the morning.

Entering the school gates, you heard Yunjin beside you say, “Guys, get a good look. This is the last first day of high school we’re going to have.”

Taehyun rolls his eyes, “Literally makes no difference at all. We’ll see this shithole for another year.”

“Do you always have to contradict what I say?” She huffs to which Taehyun happily nods and you laugh at the entire situation.

“What lesson do you all start with?” You ask. “I have Chemistry with Mr Kim.”

“Same,” your friends say in unison, so you make your way to Chemistry, listening intently to the bickering that continues.

Straight away, your teacher puts you in a seating plan, despite the many complaints against it. You get placed at the back corner, the seat beside you remaining empty for now while Yunjin sits a few rows ahead of you to your left and Taehyun sits one seat ahead of you.

Quickly, the class begins to get full but your eyes linger on a certain nuisance strutting into the classroom.

Mr Kim informs him of his seat, which he begins striding to in his tampered version of the school’s uniform that everyone seems to think looks “cool”. Only until he stands right beside you do you realise that his seat is the one right next to you.

“Hi partner,” Jake smiles at you, before taking a seat.

“There has to be some kind of mistake,” You say, raising your hand to protest against this act of horror.

Jake brings his own hand up to pull yours down, “You know how Mr Kim is, he’ll assign you a detention if you make a fuss. He’s short tempered, I learnt that the hard way so trust me.”

You pull your arm away from Jake’s hold, “He’s short tempered with students like you, not honour students like me.”

“Okay, snobby much. You’ll have to lose that characteristic of yourself if you wanna be friends. Or more?” He winks at you, causing your face to deform in disgust.

Jake laughs at the way you cross your arms, “Relax, Jaeyun. I have no interest in you.”

“We’ll see.”

The rest of the lesson is spent working with Jake rather than working against him, since he’s good at Chemistry, which isn’t a surprise as you were aware that science was his strong suit.

The only issue is the amount of jokes he’s made about you and him having Chemistry; they just get worse every single time, too.

“See you on Wednesday, Y/n,” Jake smiles at you. Seeing the way his lips curl into a sweet smile forces you to smile back at him even if it’s against your will, but you catch yourself rather quickly and scoff at him before leaving with your friends.

Yunjin and Taehyun drag you to your usual bench in the school, forcing you to take a seat as they also take a seat to sit in front of you and immediately begin questioning you.

Yunjin is the first to start, “Wow, Y/n. After years of judging me for finding Jake attractive, here you are flirting with him the whole lesson.”

“I was not!” You exclaim in disbelief.

Taehyun slings an arm around your shoulder, “Y/n, I sit in front of you. I heard all of the jokes he made.”

“Yeah, then you also heard the way I told him to be quiet after every single one of his corny ass jokes. He’s a little shit.”

“A little shit who has you wrapped around his finger already,” Yunjin and Taehyun high five.

“I never thought Jake would be the reason why you two are agreeing for once,” You say. “In all honesty, looks and science are his only strong points which is why he uses them for his personal gain. The amount of hearts he’s probably broken in the space of two weeks is probably more than people I’ve ever spoken to in my entire life.”

Contradicting their previous statements, your two best friends nod at this and cease their teasing because it was true, Jake was too much of a flirt. He’s always had that reputation about him; the one where his choice of words can make anyone swoon for a while, until he’s bored of them. Especially if he uses that smile of his, he could get away with anything.

But not with you. You weren’t like that. Not the type to be swayed by his antics.

Perhaps, it was because school had always been your main priority so you never really had time to be distracted by guys like Jake and now that it was your senior year, there definitely wasn't enough time to get distracted by Jake. He just wasn’t worth it.

Or so you thought.

You found now that Jake would always be sitting in his seat before you in Chemistry, greeting you with that smile of his every single time, and even going as far as pulling out your chair for you just like a gentleman would.

“Save it, Jaeyun. We all know that being a gentleman isn't your thing.”

“Of course it is. How do you think I get all the women to fall for me?” He has a response for everything.

“Well, that definitely won't happen this time, Jaeyun,” you remark, smiling teasingly at him.

He pauses for a moment which causes you to look at him - he wasn't the type to pause after something like that.

Jake has a smirk plastered on his lips, “No one else calls me Jaeyun. Why do you call me that?”

With a sigh, you respond, “Because, I know all your playthings call you that, so it would seem inappropriate to call you the name that they do, as I definitely am not one of your playthings.”

He simply just laughs and calls you a nerd under his breath.

“Have you heard about the cupid thing that’s going to happen?” He asks you.

It was called the Cupid Fantasy Draft and it was all Yunjin could talk about for the last three days. The Cupid Fantasy Draft was an odd occasion that your classmates were organising in which there would be students paired together and they would go on dates and stuff for the entire year. You thought it was a silly idea as it was basically forcing people to date, but Yunjin argued that it was a good idea since people could get to know others easier. You didn't argue with it that much since you knew you wouldn't get picked.

“Yes, I have. Stupid idea.”

Jake groans, “Do you have to be so boring all the time? Have some fun once in a while. You never know, you might get picked.”

This causes you to pry yourself away from your books to look at Jake with a stare that seems to catch him off guard.

“Even if someone is dumb enough to pick me, they can’t force me to go to it.”

Once again, he responds to you with, “We’ll see. Did you know that this cupid date is also your valentine? So you don't have to worry about being lonely on Valentine's day like you always have been!”

“Ha ha,” You mock. “Are you even doing this thing?”

“Of course.”

You laugh, “This doesn’t seem like your type of thing. Isn’t this too restricting for you?”

A deep frown washes his face, “What do you mean by that?”

“Aren’t you used to dating two people a day? Why the sudden change of heart?”

Jake shrugs, “Maybe, I’ve met someone.”

To this, you feel a small hit to your chest at the thought of Jake with someone else but you easily brush it off, “Yeah, right.”

What the hell was that?

At lunch, your friends are conversing about the Cupid Fantasy Draft happening later that evening - just like they have been for days now - while your nose is buried into a romance book to make up for the ever so slight damage to your heart in Chemistry. The aim of the romance novel was to remind you that Jake Sim was not worth being hurt over, and instead the fictional character showering his beloved in endless amounts of affection was causing you to swoon.

You’re pulled away from your fictional fantasy by a voice calling you, “Y/n! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Jake stands behind you, with Sunghoon and Jay to his side, sending you friendly smiles.

“What do you want, Jaeyun?”

He holds out a familiar pen. It was one of your favourite pens, designed with a bear and had a sweet scented smell to add to the speciality of the pen.

“How did you get this?” you attempt to snatch it away, but Jake is quick to snatch it back.

“I took it in Chemistry, it looked cute,” He smiles and brings it up to his face to smell it. “Smells nice, too.”

“Very funny. Give it back, now. That’s my favourite pen.”

He shakes his head, mockingly, “It can’t be your favourite if you didn’t even notice I took it.”

You huff in annoyance, “That’s because I was rushing to get out of the class so I could get away from you.”

Jake jokingly puts his hand on his chest and rubs it to pretend he’s in pain due to your comment, before placing the pen in his pocket, “I’m sure you’ll be fine for a few hours without it. Come to the Fantasy Draft and you’ll get it back.”

Not missing the opportunity to wink flirtatiously, he turns on his heels with his friends and leaves.

Your protests against the event had no effect on your friends, who dragged you out of the comforts of your bedroom, completely wasting your perfect night of studying. Yunjin even went to the effort of picking out an outfit for you and tricking you into putting it on by pretending she needed inspiration of her own.

“If I come to this thing and none of you get picked, I’m going to lose my shit,” You warn as you walk up to the door of the house that it was taking place at. “Whose place even is this?”

Your question is answered by an immediate swing of the front door opening, revealing Jay in black jeans and a cream jumper.

It was nice to see him in a different colour for once. It made sense that this was his home - you noticed the Porsche parked in the driveway along with the three story house.

“Hey, come in,” He says, leading you through the house, “It’s about to start, so you’re on time.”

Your eyes search Jay’s large mansion looking house until they meet a familiar individual.

You take notice of the girl sitting at his side, recognising her from walking around the hallways at school.

Without taking another look at him, you take a seat on the couch and Yunjin follows.

“Jake strikes again,” She says, staring at the girl beside him who's too busy giggling at whatever he’s saying to notice you staring her down.

“Expected.”

That feeling from Chemistry seemed to make its way back, you felt your chest ache slightly. But again, you pushed it away just in time for Jay to return and for the Cupid Fantasy Draft to start.

Jay takes a seat at the centre and begins explaining the rules, “Listen, I don’t know who made this idea but I’ll just go through the rules and shit. We go in order and you pick someone who is “yours” for the entire year. Get it?”

There are no interruptions, causing the event to commence.

Jay goes first, and soon it goes around in a circle - with Yunjin and Taehyun surprisingly getting picked - until the last one left is Jake.

His turn makes everyone stop and listen. You weren’t the only one surprised that he was taking part in this event, so you knew people would be talking about the lucky pick all year round. After all, it was known that he wasn’t the type to stick to one person, so it was extremely shocking that he was going to choose someone to spend the entire senior year with.

Taehyun leans in to whisper in both yours and Yunjins ears, “Betting 10 that he’ll choose Y/n.”

You shove his arms and moments after, Jake smirks at you, “I choose Y/n.”

Your face drops. Your heart, however, is jumping in happiness while an entire population’s worth of butterflies fly around in your stomach. Fighting the urge to smile at him is almost as irresistible as him.

Fuck, he’s got me, you think to yourself.

Everyone’s eyes are fixated on you as you leave the room, running up the stairs until you enter one of the many rooms of Jay’s place.

There were far too many thoughts running through your brain right now.

Jake Sim, Sim Jaeyun. He chose you for the Cupid Fantasy Draft?

A feeling of sickness started to rise within you. Why, why, why. You probably had a bounty written on yourself now without even knowing the reason why Jake had picked you.

A knock on the door brings you away from the millions of thoughts imprisoning you.

“Y/n?” Yunjin’s voice is clear as day and you open the door. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. This is so random,” You respond, putting your head in your hands.

Yunjin nods, “Look. Even though Taehyun and I have made so many jokes over the last two months about you and Jake, we both know how he is and to be honest, even though Taehyun somewhat a predicted it, he’s shocked as fuck right now. We all knew Jake would have picked someone tonight but for some reason, I still thought he wasn’t going to take this seriously.”

“What if he isn’t?” You question. “What if he’s just using me as a plaything?”

“Well, Y/n, you’re smart enough to know when that’s happening.”

She’s wrong though. Over the last two months, you’ve enjoyed your jokes and snarky comments with Jake but most of all, you’ve had memorable conversations, too.

From favourite ice cream flavours to biggest fears in life, you’ve enjoyed every single bit of it, so it was hard to tell if he was really using you. There was something about the way your conversations flowed that made you think Jake was beginning to open up to you. Now, thinking about it, you felt silly for perhaps blurring the line between Jake being a good talker and him genuinely having an interest in you.

Then again, he had picked you for the draft. This was all too confusing, all too much for only your brain to handle alone.

“Yunjin, I have something to tell you.”

Right there and then, you explain the last two months and how with Sim Jaeyun, time means nothing since he’ll have you wrapped around his finger whenever he wants.

By the end of the night, both you and Yunjin have opened the snack drawer in the room you’re in and have discussed quite a lot: Jay, what to do about Sim Jaeyun and how to exit Jay’s mansion without getting caught.

Right now, you’re on the third part where Yunjin is standing guard at the front door and keeping an eye out for Jake or his comrades.

You rush down the stairs, just about to leave the door until…

“Y/n! Jake’s been looking everywhere for you,” Sunghoon puts an arm around your shoulder and drags you to the living room as Yunjin mouths an apology to you.

Once again, your eyes meet Jake’s figure. Only this time, he doesn’t have a companion stuck to his side. Instead, he has a drink in his hand that’s resting on the rip in his jeans and he looks bored to death. Again, hope begins to rise within you.

He looks up and jumps to his feet, “I thought you left.”

“I tried to,” you admit, making Jake laugh heartily.

He beckons to the door, “Let’s get out of here.”

You follow Jake, preparing to yell at him for his actions tonight but your anger disappears when he takes your hand in his and leads you out of the door and into his car. You can feel how cold his fingertips are from previously holding the cup in his hand, but you don’t seem to mind it at all.

Sitting at the driver’s seat, your eyes focus on his face. His nose is perfectly curved, accentuating the other features of his face such as his lashes that lay flat against his eyelids to match the shape of his eyelids. You’ve taken notice of this over the months; watching the way they crinkle when he laughs and the giggle leaves his lips.

“Soooo,” he breaks the silence and tilts his head to look at you.

“Don’t “soooo” me, Jaeyun. What on earth are you playing at? And, where’s my pen?” Even though you’re asking in such an angry tone, Jake can’t help but giggle at how endearing you can be sometimes.

He reaches into his pocket and passes you your pen, “Here. I don’t know what you’re talking about, by the way. I didn’t do anything wrong.”

He’s right, but you still argue, “You knew I didn’t want to be picked tonight, and you did it anyway. Why?”

Jake shrugs, “I took it as a challenge earlier. I thought it would be fun, too.”

Your eyes roll, “Is that all that matters to you?”

He nods, “Is there something wrong with that? Plus, this way we can do useful things that I’m sure are appealing to you, like study dates.”

There goes your heart doing backflips again. Dammit, Jaeyun.

“You don’t have to say yes, you know. You said so yourself that nobodies forcing you to do this. But, I’m just saying that I heard you needed help for Physics and I’m the man for it,” Jake informs you.

That was true, Jake had won every Physics award that existed at school. A few years back, he had even competed nationally and gotten first place.

“As long as you don’t call it study dates, we’re on,” You say, much to both his and your surprise.

“The only catch is,” He says, “You can’t fall in love with me.”

Rolling your eyes, you reply, “As if it was possible, Sim.”

Lie. Your heart was evidence of it.

Jake decides to take you on a quick drive, switching from driving fast and slow just to get a panicked reaction from you to amuse himself.

He parks outside a homely cafe, and exits the car without a word. Seconds later, he opens your door and helps you out with his hand reached out again. You were never one to deny affection from good looking guys.

The cafe owner greets him immediately, “Jaeyun!”

Jake rushes behind the counter and embraces the woman in a tight hug as you watch in shock, your mouth agape but still feeling the warmth radiate from the sight ahead of you.

The woman leaves the hug to look at you standing near the door, a smile creeping on her lips as she looks at Jake for an explanation.

“Y/n, this is my mum,” Jake says, almost sheepishly if that was possible for him.

Your eyes widen as you manage to stutter out, “Nice to meet you, Mrs Sim.”

Why the hell has he taken me to meet his mother right now, you think to yourself. He literally just told me not to fall in love with him, and he’s making me meet his mother of all people?

Jake excuses himself to wash his hands, leaving you and his mother alone. She calls you over with a warm smile.

“Do you want anything to eat?”

You search the menu and end up choosing a milkshake.

“So, are you Jaeyun’s partner?” She asks you.

You shake your head, and she frowns, “That’s a shame. You seem like a nice person . I always hoped the one he would bring to me would be the one he was going to marry.”

Pause.

You were the first one out of the hundred that got to meet his mother? There was no way. Why was he being so confusing?

Jake appears into the room with a smile, “Mum, we’ll take whatever to go. Y/n and I have a few plans for tonight.”

His mum smiles at him, “Bring her more often. I wanna meet her properly.”

Jake’s ears go bright red as he nods, giving his mum a kiss on the cheek before leaving with you.

This couldn’t be possible; this had to be one big nightmare.

“Your mum is very pretty,” you tell him and he smiles at you.

“She reminds me of you.”

Your heart is thumping again, so loud that you’re worried he’s able to hear it. You wonder how he can casually say this and then turn back to whatever he’s thinking about.

“Shut up, Sim.”

You decide not to ask what it is that reminds him of her in you, but instead you bask in the comfortable silence lingering the soft breeze while Jake drives to your next destination of the night.

He lets down your window so that the air can hit your face. He has the perfect view of your eyes fluttering close due to the comfort of how it feels against your skin. Your breath is hitched in your throat, in the most relaxing way ever. As Jake speeds up, you find his hand in yours in an almost reassuring manner; it’s as if he’s letting you know he won’t hurt you, as long as you don’t let him close enough.

Pushing all your anxious thoughts away for later, you decide to enjoy this moment with Jake and the milkshake in the hand that Jake wasn’t holding. It simply felt right to you, more right than anything ever did for a long time.

Jake takes you to a small hill that you both climb together, hand in hand since he says he’s worried that you’ll fall because of the dark which seems like an excuse that you don’t question.

You look at the view ahead of you; you’re encapsulated by it. It’s at a perfect position in the city, there's a perfect sight of all the enormous edifices lit by the hundreds of lights in each of their buildings and the moonlight hitting it square in the middle to only accentuate the beauty further. It takes your breath away so well that you forget Jake is pulling you to sit beside him.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” He says, softly to which you nod. “I don’t bring many here, even though you probably think I do. This is my place for when I feel anxious or something.”

You look at him, and see that not only are the enormous edifices benefitting from the light of the orb in the sky, but Jake is too. He looks mesmerising under the moonlight.

“That’s shocking, Jaeyun,” You remark. “Didn’t know you felt anxious.”

He nods, “There’s a lot about me that you don’t know.”

You notice that it’s true, all you knew was that Jake was trouble and the small details he began to tell you in your Chemistry lessons. You were intrigued to learn more about him.

“Do you feel anxious right now?” You question.

Jake hesitates, “A bit.”

You nod, squeezing his hand to comfort him, but it was also for yourself. You needed to figure out the boundaries between you and Jake.

You don’t know how it happens, but you spend almost three hours sitting with Jake. Half of it was spent in silence, enjoying watching the city work ahead of you while the other half was spent learning small facts about one another.

A cursed yawn from you brings Jake’s attention away from the warm night and asks to take you home, much to your dismay.

He parks in front of your dorm, “It was a fun night, Y/n. I’ll see you at school tomorrow. Oh, and you have to come to my soccer practice tomorrow.”

“I have to?” You giggle.

He nods, “It’s part of the negotiations.”

You hum in response, walking off into your dorm.

You expected yourself to be a mess as soon as Jake left, but for some reason, you slept better than you did in months as you anticipated the sight of Jake in a soccer jersey.

2. I GOT THIS ANXIOUS FEELING, BUT IT GOES AWAY FOR A MINUTE WHEN I’M WITH YOU BREATHING.

You’ve been at your desk for hours, a coffee placed somewhere in the clutter of it all, seven books are laid out in front of you and not a single one of them makes any sense. You’re starting to see shapes in the paint of your walls and that’s when you decide to head off to bed.

As soon as you reach the comfort of your bed, there’s a ring at the doorbell.

Groaning, you stomp to your door where you see Jake with his hood covering most of his face that’s staring at your cat slippers.

“Nice slippers,” He comments, to which you smell alcohol leaving his mouth.

“Thanks. What are you doing here? Have you been drinking?” You ask, pulling him into your dorm.

You watch as he takes off the hood of his sweater, revealing a scar on his lip along with a bruised up eye. Gasping, you move closer to him to assess the wounds on his face.

“How did this happen?” You ask as you rush to your cupboards for disinfectants.

Jake takes a seat at your counter and begins to explain, “Jay, Sunghoon and I were having some fun when this girl's boyfriend got mad that I dated his girl before him and started to fight me. You should see him, though.”

He lifts his arm to show how his knuckles are bruised up, to which you kiss your teeth at.

Rather than telling him about how maybe this wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t dated so many people, you focus on cleaning his wounds and treating them.

Jake winces when the disinfectant touches his cuts, but allows you to keep cleaning. You only put plasters on them since thankfully, none of the cuts are bad enough to stitch them.

His eyes start to wander along your face so he brings up a finger of his to trace along your features which he decides he’ll blame the alcohol on tomorrow morning.

Before you die of a heart attack, you pull away from his touch, and pass him two ice packs; one for his eye and another for his knuckles, you also lead him into your living room. where you simply stare at the marks on his face until he gets awkward.

“It’s not that bad,” he assures you, rubbing your knee.

“You might wanna tell that to your face.”

He giggles before wincing again and straightening the plaster on the corner of his lips.

You don’t ask him why he’s come to your place, but instead, you grab a blanket from your room and place it over him to make sure it’s known that he can stay here for the night.

As you’re about to leave and walk off to your bedroom, Jake grabs your wrist gently.

“Stay,” He pleads.

That’s all it takes for you to lay in his arms, with one of your hands reaching up to play with his brown locks, causing his eyes to flutter open and close and for his breathing to get heavier.

Just as he’s about to sleep, Jake inches forwards and presses his lips onto yours. The metallic taste of his blood mixes with your saliva, but it’s not enough to make you pull away from your kiss.

The kiss is deep, with both of you not wishing to pull away anytime soon. It leaves both of you breathless and you’re sure that Jake can now taste the cherry lip balm that you applied on your lips. The kiss makes you feel like you’re in the clouds and your head is filled with nothing but Jake.

It feels like years have passed when you both pull away from the kiss, panting and pressing foreheads together.

“Y/n,” Jake breaks the silence and you hum as a response. “There’s something about you that makes me want to change. Don’t leave me.”

It was definitely the alcohol coursing through his veins that urged him to say this. Seeing Jake vulnerable was oddly your favourite version of him, he was always so soft with you and that was the time when he was the most open. For some reason, he kept this side of himself closed off but you didn’t argue with being the only one who saw this side of him, even if it wasn’t frequent.

Clearly, that was the side of you that had become completely infatuated by him over the last few months. Honestly, every moment with him had changed you for the better.

He somehow was always able to bring those stress levels of yours down in every way he could; whether it was taking you on a drive with the wind and Jake taking your breath away, or coming over with ice cream. Or even just coming over to talk with you just helped.

You press a kiss to his cheek and wrap your arms around him to hug him tightly until you fall asleep in his arms that hold you close to his chest where you both felt a sense of security even if you knew he wouldn’t remember this in the morning and that by the time you woke up, there would be a blanket draped over your shoulders with no sight of Jake.

3. I CAN TASTE IT, MY HEART’S BREAKING.

“You ready?” Jake pops out of nowhere, creeping up on you while you're packing up to leave the suffocating Math class.

Before you can even get a word out, he’s helping you pack up by snatching all your things and hoisting it over his shoulder.

“Jaeyun! Give me my things,” You scold him.

He shakes his head, “No, you’re taking too long. You can pack up when we’re sitting on the bleachers on the soccer field!”

Shoot, you forgot he had soccer practice today. This new routine with him wasn’t easy getting used to. Especially, since his reminders were done by force rather than nice texts at the beginning of the day that would have definitely been more helpful and effective.

He still manages to have space to hold your hand with a few fingers, even with many of your belongings in his hands; but you noticed over the months that Sim Jaeyun enjoyed physical contact.

Now, you still had thoughts wondering if it was the vulnerable Sim Jaeyun that enjoyed always having a hold of you, or the generic one that was available to everyone. Either way, all you knew was that it made your heart run a thousand miles per second.

It was funny; you saw the eyes always watching your movements when Jake was with you. The envy was heavy in the air, but you never seemed to care. Everything else was unimportant when Jake was with you.

“When does practice end today? I have plans” You jokingly whine, to which Jake snaps his head towards you, displaying the small pout on his lips.

“It’ll end at 9, so you better cancel those plans.”

“What?! You’re practising for 6 hours?”

Now, Jake laughs, “No, we’re going on a date afterwards.”

Your ears perk up at this, “Where?”

“Not to worry for now, angel,” He presses a kiss on your cheek as he sits you down on the bleachers and returns your belongings while he makes way to the changing rooms.

Angel, angel, angel. All you can hear is the pet name he kept for you, echoing in your ears like a love song on repeat.

Seeing as Jake and his friends liked to take centuries to get changed in their jerseys, you decided to keep yourself busy whilst burying your nose into a book when more people started joining you on the bleachers - one in particular catching your eye and that being a girl named Choi Heejin. You knew of her, but not properly since she didn't go to the same school as you. You also knew that she was Jake’s longest plaything, hence why she had been sending you dirty looks as she took a seat.

Feigning no sense of fear, you watch Jake and his friends walk onto the court and the sound of Jake’s laugh rings through the almost empty field, bringing a smile to your face.

Jake runs over to you, handing you his bag. You watch him glance at Heejin, displaying a somewhat shocked expression which you could tell he was doing his best to conceal.

“Heejin, what are you doing here?”

“I came to watch, like old days,” Heejin smiles at him, her eyes radiating nothing but horrid intentions. Jake nods, taking in her words.

“Well, it definitely won't be like old times, since I have Y/n here with me.”

Jake innocently smiles at you, leaving a peck on your lips before running off back with the guys.

Contrary to what you said before, there certainly was something bothering you about the way this girl was staring at you, but after Jake’s act before, you felt a lot more at ease.

Unfortunately, you had hoped to forget her presence but it seemed that she just had to cheer every time Jake had scored or done something remotely rewarding.

This only just irked your temper, causing you to look at her with the dirtiest look you could muster up.

“Something wrong?” She drawls.

“Only the fact that you’re drooling over Jaeyun when he told you that there’s no chance of him getting back with you.”

She cackles, literally cackles, in your face, “Jaeyun, huh? I thought I was the only one who called him that.”

As much as you try not to show it, you’re sure she sees your face drop.

What on earth did she mean by that?

She only continues to stab you with her words, “Do you really think he means what he said? What, because he’s been with you for a few months? Are you two even dating yet?”

You don’t say anything; no you and Jake weren’t dating but that didn’t mean this wasn’t serious. Did it?

Pleased with the damage she’s done, she gets up and grabs her things, “Well, tell Jaeyun my number hasn’t changed. I’m sure he remembers it - he’s always been good with numbers.”

You stare ahead as she leaves and you can feel the tears brim your eyes as Jake makes his way over, her eyes repeating in your head over and over again. A feeling of sickness rose in your stomach, you felt stupid for even falling for Jake and thinking he would fall for you even in this time. After all, he had told you not to fall for him and here you were, two months away from Valentine’s day with your heart only full with him. It was insane that one could have this much of an effect on you; it was as if the air you breathed in was just Jake. Only Jake. Everything was about him, Sim Jaeyun, your Jaeyun.

But it wasn’t supposed to be, he specifically told you not to. Perhaps this was all part of his plan when he had chosen you for that stupid cupid draft.

You didn’t expect Jake to be running after you but as soon as he gets close enough, Jake immediately wraps his hand around your wrist to bring you to a halt and spins you around to look at him, “Y/n, stop.”

You’re panting when you stop, tears falling down your face uncontrollably that you’re sure are burning into your cheeks. Jake tries to pull you into his arms, but you reject this notion which definitely catches him by surprise judging by the way his eyebrows raise.

“She called you Jaeyun, you said I’m the only one who called you that.”

“Y/n, that was a very long time ago.”

As if that makes it any better. Millions of questions flow through your brain, all wondering almost the exact same thing and you question whether the thought has actually left your head since the day you felt some sort of adoration towards Sim Jaeyun: what am I to him?

So, there goes it.

“What am I to you?” The second the question leaves your mouth, all the strength that you had disappeared and turned into the nerve-wracking sick feeling reappearing in the pits of your stomach.

“I already told you a while ago, Y/n. This is nothing, we are nothing to one another” his words cut you deeper than anything you’ve ever felt before. Deeper than Heejin’s only moments ago.

This was an unexplainable type of pain. Seeing Jake’s eyes look at you coldly, as if he’s disappointed at the fact that you’ve fallen for him just like everybody else. As if the time you’ve spent together has meant absolutely nothing. Then again, this was Sim Jaeyun you were talking about. Of course, none of it meant anything - all the things he said to make you feel special and loved were nothing to him. You were a fool for thinking otherwise even for a second.

The pair of you only stare at each other with every passing moment, looking at one another until you simply can’t recognise the person in front of you, which ultimately brings you to turning away from Sim Jaeyun forever.

4. I KNOW I’LL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU, BABY. AND THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANNA DO. (JAKE POV)

There was something about the way conversations flowed so easily when I spoke to you. It always led to me wanting more, craving more. Half the time, I didn’t even notice what I was saying until it was too late. But still, there wasn’t the usual feeling of when one overshares. No. Instead, I had felt a strange comfort hug me like a warm, snug air wrapping its arms around me and telling me that everything was going to be alright.

It was odd and unfamiliar to the point where I would feel uncomfortable by all the foreign comfort. I had never felt something like that before.

Often, I would find myself sitting at the top of the hill late at night and staring at the busy city in an attempt to drag my mind away from you. Even so, my thoughts were being invaded by only you, it was so suffocating in the best way possible. All my attempts and not loving you were futile after years of pushing people away, all it took was a single lesson for you to draw my attention. And that was by far the scariest thing I had ever experienced in my entire life. It was enamoring; you were simply enamoring.

I thought it must have been the alcohol that possessed me to choose you for the Cupid Fantasy Draft, but by the end of the night, I came to realise that it was my heart speaking for me. For once, my heart had knocked my brain out of the way and took control but something about it had felt so right even though every single bone in my being was urging me to resist. This was the first time in a while that I felt as though everything was right as it should be. The Cupid Fantasy Draft was the perfect opportunity for me to win you, so I took that opportunity. It would be a lie if I said that I didn’t know how in love with you I would get, but there was nothing I could do about it. I had let it overcome me until it was the only thing I was consuming.

Until, the dreaded moments when you weren’t beside me and I convinced myself that this was going too far and for some reason, I was thankful for warning you about me. You didn’t deserve it, you were far too precious for the ruins of me. You deserve someone better and I was going to make sure it had happened, even if it broke me. Which it did.

Along the way, there were times where I needed you and only you. My heart began to ache when you were not near, the oxygen around me began to seem inefficient because I was not breathing the scent of whatever perfume you had on and for that, my lungs were poisoned by the fumes of an unimportant air, an air that didn't have anything to do with. I began to rely on you for my ultimate survival - I only felt alive with you near me, with your hand in mine. There was no part of me that cared how it looked, or that my persona was being thrown away, until it was too late.

For a while, I contemplated being selfish and letting you completely in. I wondered what it would be like to show the feelings I had for you and to let myself love you and only you. I almost began to convince myself, but it was for the better that I was not 100%. The small percentage of me that was reluctant had saved you from me in the end.

When I saw Heejin that day, it was like a blast from the past; a reality check. This wasn’t who I am, I wasn’t supposed to be with you. You shouldn’t be with someone who only hurts you. I knew Heejin wasn’t just a reminder to me, but to you, too - which was why I had let her stay that day at the soccer practice. It was an impulsive idea that turned out for the better. Although I don’t know what she said that day, I knew whatever caused you to run out the fields that day had done my job for me. Perhaps that was me being lazy, perhaps that was me taking the easy way out, but the good part was that it started off what was pulling you away from me.

I had never felt my heart ache so much after seeing the tears stream down your face, the ache only worsening as time went on and I couldn’t do anything to resolve it but rather, the things I was about to do were probably going to make it even worse. I’m sure it did; I didn’t expect it to be easy after all this time but I had to remain heartless and strong with this last moment.

Watching you walk away had to have been the hardest thing I had ever encountered; the feeling of emptiness being the only thing I could feel for days on end afterwards and rejecting human contact until I could feel something. I longed to see your lips turn upwards to smile widely at me, pulling me into an everlasting enchantment. I longed to be suffocated by your endless love. Wasn’t that strange?

5. CRYBABY.

The soft rain pattered against the window of the cafe that you were sitting at, Valentine’s Day decorations displayed all around the grand shop.

Everything was blooming with love along with the freshness of the spring air flowing through your nostrils, sending a rejuvenating chill down your body. With a smile, you rested your chin on your palm whilst awaiting your date to come and whisk you away.

The bells on the door caught your attention, making you spin around with a smile on your face and your eyes glistening with sparkles.

The excited look on your face only dims when you see the wide smile on his pink lips as he walks in. Your eyes immediately notice the new bright blond locks of his hair flattened against his forehead, and his dark brown orbs finally meeting yours.

Your mouth is open agape, as you stare at the boy at the door while he stares at you as well.

For a moment, you turn back around, as if to dismiss that shared moment with one another and ignore the way the world had paused for you two but the universe must have other plans since Jaeyun walks over to your table and takes a seat in front of you.

Although it's only been a few months, the feeling of being sat with one another is so unfamiliarly strange, until he cracks that smile, “How do you like my hair?”

“It suits you,” You say admiring the colour on him. “Why are you here, Jake?”

Ouch. His heart sinks, evidently since his smile falters.

“Jake, huh?” You swear you hear his voice break.

You almost laugh at him, “Well, I figured I should call you what your playthings called you, since I was one of them, after all.”

“Y/n-”

“Save it. There’s nothing left to say,” You shrug, taking your things. “I don’t know why you’re here, nor do I care. But, leave me alone.”

As you walk out of the shop, the bell announcing your departure, Jake follows after you.

“Y/n, let me explain!” He calls after you.

Your bag is slung over your head to stop the rain from hitting your face annoyingly until Jake drapes his hoodie over your head, revealing his bare arms from the white tee shirt he's wearing. Immediately, the smell of his cologne wafts through your nostrils, sending you in half a trance and halting your movements. In that moment, you’re back a few months ago when your entire being was enhanced by Sim Jaeyun.

“What is there left to say, Jake?” You scream into the rain. Jake stares at you, wondering if the droplets down your face are tears or the rain. Soon enough, he figures out that it's your tears, and there goes the stab feeling at his heart once more.

“I want this back,” Jake spits out. He runs a hand through his hair, catching his thoughts. “I can’t live without you. Every morning, I wake up to an empty feeling in my heart, the same feeling that I sleep with at night while I think only of you. You came into my life so suddenly, I didn’t realise how much I needed you. Well, I did, but I was so scared by it. When I found out you were going to be spending Valentine’s with someone else, I felt a part of me just.. break. I can’t do this without you. You have to believe me.”

Jake takes a step closer and takes your hand in his, awaiting your response to his serenade of love. It feels as though years have passed when you make a movement.

Pushing Jake's hand off yours, you whisper, “I’m sorry.”

The earnest, pleading look in his eyes almost convinced you to stay, but you knew better. You knew better than to fall for this again. You didn't doubt that Jake’s feelings for you were genuine, but you definitely questioned if they would end up in flames again. That was a risk you weren’t willing to take.

Ultimately, you were wiser than your heart therefore, you chose not to fall into the dark abyss of Sim Jaeyun again. It was a choice laced with agony and heartburn but it was a necessary choice for the sake of your heart.

You hoped that, one day, when Jake was better for you, he would be brought back to you as someone you could build something with. But, now was not the time.

Jake watches you walk away for the second time, knowing this time it’s definitely the last time. Pools of tears start to leave his eyes as he clutches his heart. With every step you take away from him, a piece of his heart is carried with you and he wondered if these pieces will ever return to him.

He wondered how cupid could be this cruel and if he could ever get over the mistake that lost him you. He knew that cupid’s mistake was going to leave a permanent imprint on his entire being for the rest of his life, but he knew it far too late.

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barbwritesstuff · 4 months

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The Goodreads Choice awards has happened. It included a 'romantasy' category and no 'graphic novel' category. I take that as permission to make up my own ridiculous genres as I tell you about what I read in 2023.

Obviously, 2023 is not finished yet, but I'm doing a reading challenge at my library, so I don't think I'll be reading stuff I want to read for the rest of the year. Just stuff my librarian friend thinks its funny to make me read.

I've read 65ish books. Here are the highlights sorted into easy and normal groups.

Scifi books in which the main character spends 99% of the book wandering around a horrifying cave:

I enjoyed both of these, but Piranesi was a joy to read.

Vampires:

Empire of the Vampire was wild. House of Hunger was horny. Dowry of Blood was both of those things.

Ace books:

Disclaimer: I didn't actually like Loveless or Let's Talk About Love very much but I know a lot of people did, so I thought I'd include them here.

Vanilla surprised me because I don't normally like poetry but it was really good. Heartbreaking, but good.

Memoirs by people way too young to write memoirs:

All of which were funny!

Books about white people being shitty to Asian (specifically Chinese) people in the entertainment industry with ambiguous endings and a huge amount of research into the industry on blast:

Yellowface is for you if you like Hbomberguy's latest video. Seriously, those two go together like a fine wine and a good cheese. The Whitewash was also fantastic and so under appreciated.

Books that made me want to quit my job and become a ridiculous but stylishly dressed criminal:

Seriously. Rogues included a step by step guide on how to become a wine forger... and I was tempted.

HISTORY:

Okay, so Babel isn't really history, in that it's actually a magical dark academia, but it's tied into historical events, and made me look up some history, so I think it counts. The wager was the most exciting history book I've ever read. I was so invested in the lives and deaths of these silly scurvy-ridden seamen.

There are other books I read and enjoyed but I can't think of funny categories to put them into, so you don't get to hear about them.

Anyway. That's it. Read books.

Also, get a library card if you can. I practically live at my local library and have learnt so much from reading.

Here's last year's post if you want more books...

#book recs #reading #bookish

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prettieinpink · 4 months

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5K SPECIAL | CREATING YOUR OWN GARDEN𝜗𝜚

This is a guide to make your mind like your own garden flourishing with plants, flowers and butterflies. Having a good mental mindset, and being in the right state of mind is essential to being the best version of yourself.

This guide is divided into four sections: mindset, self-care, mental wellness and emotional intelligence. I hope you can take away something useful and take care of yourself! 💖

MINDSET

Your mindset can easily determine how you go through life. It influences how you feel, act, behave and your thoughts. When you have a poor mindset, it is going to be difficult to go through life, even if your life is easy.

However, once we grow and improve our minds, it is easier for us to navigate life, improve our well-being and increase our chances of success.

Before we get into mindset shifts, I want to explain how exactly you can implement them in your life. I feel like there’s so much talk about mindset, but no one exactly explains on how to implement them.

IMPLEMENTING

The first thing to implementing mindset shifts is making a conscious effort to be aware of your thoughts. If you want, practice mindful activities to improve your self-awareness of your thoughts.

You have to be able to catch a thought in its passing and whoosh it away from your mind. If you don’t whoosh it away, those simple thoughts build each time which can soon turn into the way you think.

Secondly, after increasing your awareness, identify what exactly about your thoughts or mindset you’d like to shift, and what you would like to shift to.

Thirdly, is to completely immerse yourself in that mindset shift. The mind learns through repetition, meaning that repeating it enough will make your mind learn it.

Set your mindset shift as your weekly intention, say affirmations, and prayer, read books on it, put a quote on your phone as your wallpaper, just make it so that mindset shift is constantly on your mind.

Lastly, do small actionable things that reinforce that mindset shift. I recommend you do at least one habit every day for this.

This is not the only method to implement mindset shifts, but for me, it’s the one that is highly effective. I recommend doing some research on your own, and making adjustments when needed depending on how you think.

MINDSET SHIFTS

This whole part we’ll talk about the mindset shifts I think everyone should at least try to implement in their lives if they want to improve themselves. These mindset shifts are my absolute favourites and they improved the quality of my life.

After each one, I’ll state a small habit you can incorporate that contributes to that shift.

Live your life with your highest self in mind.

This is more intentional living than an actual mindset shift, but still as important. Whatever you do throughout the day, consider if it aligns with your highest self. If not? Release it. Your highest self knows what's best for you, trust them.

At the end of the day, reflect on your daily habits, which include all habits you did today whether they were ideal or not. What habits aligned with your highest self and which didn’t? The ones that didn’t, why? How can you change or remove this habit to get closer to your highest self?

Rejection is just redirection.

As someone who has gotten rejected from the things that they wanted and felt so lost in the pursuit of fulfilment, this mindset shift saved me. You have to stop chasing the things that aren’t meant for you if life has proved it isn’t.

While I’m not saying give up after the first try, but try to step back and assess the situation. If you are qualified and ready for this thing, then why is it still not yours? Because it isn’t meant for you. God is trying to nudge you into a different path, recognise his signs.

To handle rejection better, look for the lesson(s) you’ve learnt, and the skills you grew and see if there is another area of life that you can apply them to.

Keep yourself on a pedestal.

I am worthy so much to me. It sounds like a weird sentence, but you should start treating yourself like a treasure and avoid giving out that same treatment to most people because you have your soul, which homes itself in your body. Every day, you are living through this soul and body.

So, why would you take care of someone else’s soul and body? You are never going to be the soul that lives in their body, or the body which homes their soul. Don’t neglect yourself in the priority of someone else.

Practice setting boundaries with others and recognising when someone wants more than what you’re willing.

You choose the life that you want.

You have choices and options every day to do things that will eventually have an outcome. Whether this outcome supports the vision of your dream life or not, all depends on how you choose to live your life now.

I don’t have a habit with this one but keep in mind that absolutely nothing is controlling you, and your choices are of free will. Circumstances can change, but that is why we have to adapt and be flexible.

Fear is a step to success

If you’re not scared, you’re not doing it right. Fear can hold us back, but that is why we have to twist fear into a source of motivation instead. If we were always in our comfort zone, stepping back when we feel a sliver of fear, we allow fear to dictate our life and its course.

You can’t be successful unless you do the uncomfortable. For this one, do something each day that scares you or makes you uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, but simple things like exercising longer than usual or talking to someone who you wouldn’t imagine yourself with. Those little risks are so important.

Embarrassment is not a real emotion

This one is a bit controversial, but I do not believe in the concept of embarrassment. Yes, things can sometimes be awkward, but it is fully in your control if you want to feel ashamed or not. Being embarrassed only holds you back, and doesn’t allow you to live life to its fullest.

I would recommend doing a small risk every day as well, but of things that would usually feel awkward.

Progress over perfection/completion

Perfectionism which is allowed to be nurtured over time can create an avoidance mindset towards doing harder things in life. While we should strive for excellence in everything we do, we shouldn’t allow it to consume us.

(the avoidance mindset is when we put off/avoid tasks that we believe to be out of our abilities, and so that completion of the task is poor quality/not done well.)

This one is less common, but I know a few people who would not do a task if they knew it would not be fully completed in their desired time frame. However, each minute of work contributes to the results or completion of something.

Every day, do one thing that will add up to the completion of your long-term goals.

To welcome tomorrow, you have to let go of yesterday.

Living in the past makes us neglect our present self. I’m not saying forget everything that’s happened, but never allow the past to consume your mind. Acknowledge that you’ve been hurt, you’re longing or you were happier. Then, release it.

Journaling is the perfect way to stay in touch with the present. You can type it, write it, vlog, draw, or compose to journal.

Everyone has their beauty.

This one helped me a lot with comparison. I saw beauty, not as a measure or a value of someone, but rather something that everyone has uniquely and it cannot be valued. I have my sense of beauty, and you have your beauty as well. We are two different people with unique features, traits and qualities, so our ��beauty’ can’t be measured against each other.

Define your beauty. You could be smart, feminine, book beauty or dark, flowers, creative beauty. You add your details to your beauty and never try to define someone else's.

To conclude this section, your mindset is very powerful. To achieve your goals, work on your mindset. Also, don’t try to work on more than one mindset shift at a time. Implement one fully then work on the next one. It could be overwhelming if you’re doing more than one.

SELF-CARE

The next chapter of this guide is about self-care. Self-care is important for maintaining balance in our lives and generally keeping ourselves happy. However, most people don’t understand the concept of self-care, so they just end up doing a bunch of random things and wondering why they don’t feel better.

Yes, you can coddle or pamper yourself when you want, but it is not self-care. While activities from these three things do overlap, do not confuse the terms with each other.

Self-care is simply what it says. Taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself looks different for everyone. My idea of self-care will be different to yours.

REDEFINING SELF-CARE.

When you imagine what self-care looks like, it’s typically someone else’s definition of self-care which has been reinforced in your mind. You have to redefine your idea of self-care to match your goals, energy levels and circumstances.

Before you do, self-care is not always about taking a break. It seems that way, however, self-care can also be having the discipline to do the things that you don’t want to, but are good for you.

Here are some questions to help you redefine your self-care:

What does self-care mean to you? Does that meaning align with your current values and needs?

Do you have any negative associations or misconceptions of self-care? Why?

How do I feel in all areas of my life? (physically, mentally, spiritually, professionally). What areas need more attention and how can I improve that area(s)?

What activities bring me happiness, fulfilment and a sense of renewal?

What tasks do I have to do, which are good for me but I hesitate in completing that task?

How would I like to feel after complementing my self-care rituals?

Envision your life if it had complete balance and self-care incorporated. What habits would you be doing to support that vision?

My idea of self-care is completing all of my non-negotiables, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, taking somewhat productive breaks and talking to others daily.

THE SEVEN PILLARS OF SELF-CARE

Self-care has seven pillars, which you all need to take care of to have a balanced life. However, balanced self-care does not mean equal attention to each pillar. It means that each one is up to the same standard of self-care you’ve put for yourself. So, you need to allocate your attention appropriately.

MAJOR PILLARS

Physical - The well-being of your body.

Mental - The state of your mental health, mind and emotions.

Spiritual - The strengthening of your relationship with God while nourishing your holy spirit.

Personal - Doing things that bring you enjoyment and fulfilment + embracing your identity.

MINOR PILLARS

Social - Connecting with friends, family or even strangers.

Professional - Your work/school life.

Environment - Keeping your space clean and extracting anything that holds you back.

Major and minor do not add or take away the value each category has, it just means that major pillars may need more attention compared to the minor ones which may need less attention. Of course, you may need to focus more on a minor pillar, as self-care is individual to you.

I would’ve added a list of things that you could do for each category, but I want you to think about what you need for each instead of relying on strangers with different lives for self-care.

Maybe you need to focus on exercising and doing your hobbies more. Or you need to create a better work/life balance for yourself. It all depends on your values, needs and circumstances.

MENTAL WELLNESS

Mental wellness is the state of our cognitive, emotional and psychological functioning. When we are mentally well, we can cope better with challenges, develop a habit of having positive thoughts, and greater happiness and improve most areas of our lives overall.

There are a lot of things that contribute to our mental wellness, and I most likely won’t have everything here. Just a little disclaimer as well, it is completely normal to have a fluctuating mental state especially when we are going through unfavourable change.

DIGITAL MINDFULNESS

Social media is a huge part of our lives but is also the main factor of mental destruction. I’m not going to say delete all of your social media, but I want to introduce to you a few ways to mindfully consume and rules with managing screen time.

MINDFUL CONSUMPTION

To consume content mindfully, go onto apps intentionally and know what your purpose is when using that app. For example, if you want to find new habits that you can do, you could search on Tumblr or if you want a quick break from something stressful you can watch an episode of something on Netflix.

It doesn’t matter what the purpose exactly is, but the action of being intentional.

After you consume what you want, download images, and screenshots, and take notes or any documentation of what you found/learnt. This is more so the information is remembered/used.

Manage your notifications. You do not need notifications from every app. Except for messages and phones, I do not put notifications on my device. I believe that if something is important enough, I’ll remember to check my phone later without the help of a notification.

Only consume quality content. It is so easy to consume content that has obviously been reposted or is blatantly spreading misinformation. Only consume from people who you trust and you’ve followed/subscribed to. While yes, you can explore but be very mindful when doing so.

You should be decluttering, organising and deleting on your devices routinely. This reduces the amount of distractions on your phone and makes it more intentional. Only keep the things that align with your needs, values and goals.

DIGITAL BOUNDARIES

Have rooms or zones in the house in which you’re not allowed to use any devices or the devices you choose. For example, the bed, bathroom, office, when you’re eating at the dining table, etc.

An alternative is having a period of a day when device usage is not allowed. It could be right after you wake up, right before you go to sleep or just in the middle of the day. Either, I recommend you have a time or place in which device usage is not allowed.

While I encourage everyone to keep up with socialising with their loved ones and friends, I don’t support dropping everything just to talk to someone. E.g If somebody wants to text while you’re in the middle of a study sesh, just say you’ll talk later.

MANAGING STRESS

Stress is an unwelcome yet common feeling we all have. No matter what’s on your plate, we tend to stress a lot, especially in a society that is going so fast and makes us feel like we’re falling behind.

To manage stress, you need to be self-aware of when you feel stressed. A lot of people actually can’t recognise when they feel stressed, and I am one of those people. Instead, I rely on mental or physical signs that tell me I’m feeling stressed out.

SIGNS OF STRESS

Unusual lack of motivation or discipline

Feeling tired constantly even if haven’t done anything exhausting

Inconvenience impacts you more

Overthinking about small things

Trouble with sleeping

Low appetite

Focusing is harder

Crying or feeling tearful over small things

This is not the complete list of symptoms, but these are the things I feel/do when I feel stressed. Stress will look different for everyone, so you need to be able to create your own list of signs when you feel stressed.

CREATING A STRESS MANAGEMENT PLAN

Creating a plan helps you to be prepared to effectively address and cope with stress. It allows you to be more productive and improves mental health when you use this plan when needed.

Here are a few steps to creating your own!

Identify stress triggers. What do you dread the most? What makes you feel drained? What do you overthink about? Answer these questions to figure out what triggers your stress.

Assess your coping strategies. Notice if you have any ways of coping that are self-destructive, as this only contributes to your stress.

Choose 1-3 activities that are fun to you and are not self-destructive. These activities do not have to be productive or beneficial, but they have to make you feel relaxed and generally feel better

Choose one relaxation technique and one self-care activity. These are up to you, as we tend to neglect self-care relaxation when we’re stressed.

Optional, but have one person who you can talk to when you’re stressed. When we are stressed, we tend to look at the smaller picture but talking to someone else helps us gain a greater perspective on the matter.

PRETTIEINPINK’S EXAMPLE PLAN

(If doing something that is my stress trigger, slot a time in the day to do my plan.)

Journal about why I’m stressed

Make a cup of strawberry and mango tea

Read a nice story while drinking tea

Guided stress meditation

Eat some fruits

Another thing when creating you plan to not restrict yourself using time. Allow yourself to take as much time as needed to alleviate yourself of stress.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Being emotionally intelligent is a skill. It is the ability to understand, process and communicate emotions effectively.

There are times when we do sometimes let our emotions take over and they dictate our actions, thoughts and words. This is why we need to build this skill, to get that control over our emotions back.

Thinking before you speak is an oldie but goodie. What we say can drastically influence the current situation for better or for worse. If you think that what you might say is rude, offensive or crude, don’t say it at all.

Also, stay quiet! I am all for standing up for yourself when being disrespected, but you need to recognise when someone is trying to rile you up... They WANT a reaction out of you. Most likely to use against you. Silently exit the situation instead.

If you are someone who gets a lot of energy from big emotions like anger, dejection, sadness, and jealousy, try to channel that energy into something that requires you to have a lot of energy and is beneficial to you. Keeping that energy in until you blow up is a no-no.

Not everyone is trying to hold you back with ill intent. People’s previous experiences can influence the advice they give to you because they have your best interest at heart. They know that their method worked, which is why they’re advising it. These types of people don’t understand that there is more than one way, but they still love you.

Avoid prolonging emotions. When you’re sad, don’t listen to depressing music. When you’re angry, don’t consume ragefuel. It’s very easy in this age of consuming to amplify therefore prolonging emotions, but it holds us back. Process it, and move on.

Stop acting on a whim. Go where your heart takes you, but reflect on it and create a plan. When you do, you end up in unfavourable circumstances. The most common one is working so hard to get to a certain point, only to realise that you don’t even like it. This is why reflection is important.

Be kind even when you’re not receiving it. Kindness is only kind when we do it out of pure love instead of personal gain. Stop expecting people to be kind to you after you’ve been kind to them. Kindness is a debt-free action.

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euphoricfilter · 3 months

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more silent love:

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: fluff || non-idol au

summary: jungkook’s book of silent love

tags/ warnings: more fluff, they’re in love it’s kinda sickening, more silent ways to say i love you. i am once again sleepy and thinking of the cute kinda love

notes: part two of this fic, but can be read as a standalone :D

where you can find all my other work!!

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.

The list of silent love is a forever growing one.

A small notebook sits on the kitchen table, one you had never bothered to pick up. Though Jungkook likes to spend quiet evenings alone, handwriting far from legible as he scribbles down each of these precious moments.

Memories set in stone as the ink seeps into flimsy paper; perfect, beautiful, love tucked between pages like his own little secret.

As of late, the both of you spend Sunday afternoons learning how to bake bread. A new type of loaf every week, flour clinging to clothes and smiles tugging at both your lips. It had become your own personal mission to never buy bread again, taking hours out the afternoon, simply basking in the company of one another as you learn something new.

He finds himself associating the smell of fresh bread to you. Quirk of a smile tugging at his cheeks as he walks past bakeries, fleeting memory of you in the forefront of his mind. A permanent home you've burrowed.

Jungkook, of course, likes to make you sandwiches with your homemade bread. Some mornings waking up, quietly slipping out of bed before you wake to pack you lunch, sweet little note slipped into your bag before he hears your footsteps patter out the bedroom, sluggish as you wake up.

And on those mornings your patience wears a little too thin, the world a little too much for you to take so early in the day; Jungkook will make sure to sit you down in front of the vanity. Where he detangles your hair ever so gently. Careful as he helps you put your earrings in– he’d gotten quite good over time, learning how to match your jewellery to what you were wearing. Observant in all your favorite pieces that he knew he could never go wrong with.

Every night as he showers, you sit yourself up on the kitchen counter, reaching for Jungkook’s favorite herbal teas. And every night, as he dries his hair, slinking into the kitchen, there will always be a tea there waiting for him.

He wonders how you’d learnt to time it perfectly. Knowing when to pour the hot water with just enough time before he gets out of the shower where the temperature is perfect. So he can easily slip under a blanket with you, your cold feet warmed up between his thighs as he sips sleepy tea and you doze off beside him.

He’d learnt you loved when he made you heart-shaped pancakes. And as much as he always eyes the cute little pancake pans online, there will always be something slightly more rewarding about his own hand-crafted hearts that have you giggling into his mouth– lips syrup sticky and sweet. That slight effort more just to see you smile forever lighting up his life.

He likes to watch you smile as you re-read your favourite books. Where he’d taken time out of his lunch breaks to respond to all the annotations you’d made on your first read through.

He’d glance up at you from his phone as the pen glides across the page, your own mind conjuring up replies to his questions and comments. Like that in itself was its own love language. Silent words slipped between pages of stories that aren't your own, words that only the two of you will ever see. A glimpse into your mind and in return a peek into his.

Every time he is the cause of your smile, his chest goes warm and his heart feels fluttery and light. So gooey warm and raw and lovely and so many words, so many thoughts and feelings all at once he will never be able to truly explain it in words. And maybe that’s why he likes to write down all the precious moments you share. Because that is love. The epitome of love in every sense of the word and it's meaning and yet, it's more than that.

It is your shared love in words without fancy vocabulary and poems and unheard confessions of adoration that will never leave the corners of his mind. Simply unreadable gibberish to hold each of these moments in time, cradled against his beating heart, so that even when the both of you leave this world, part of your love will live forever between the pages of that book.

Because that's what your love is. An eternal thing that will dance between the stars after death and kiss the both of you in your graves as you blossom into new life. Sure to meet one another again no matter where you end up.

You are Jungkook's forever, even if that means he has to scour the earth to find that little notebook, to relive those memories and learn to love you the right way again.

#bts fanfic #bts fluff #jungkook #bts x reader #bts #jjk #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook fic #jungkook fic #bts non idol au #jungkook fluff

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torhues · 1 year

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osamu miya.

"what do you think is the right way to ask someone out?" osamu's sudden question draws out your attention from your english assignment.

you take a moment to think, and while he thinks you're sorting out the most appropriate answers to his question, you're lost looking the answer to just one question that's plaguing your mind : should you tell him, or not?

"uh, who is it for?" you settle with the conclusion that he's asking that question out of curiosity. after all, you both are at an age where romance gradually becomes an integral parts of almost everyone's life.

out of all the years that you've known osamu— which is for around seven years for now— there has been only one time when you've seen him pursuing someone, and that was your best friend in middle school; and like the good friend you were, you helped the two of them confess to each other. you would walk to school and back, watching them holding hands, make plans without you because they were dating and it was understandable. you didn't mind, not at all, for you weren't in love with him at that point.

looking back now, you wonder if things would've turned out different if you hadn't helped your friend, or if you had realised your feelings a bit earlier. back then, you found it amusing to watch two people in love act like idiots, not knowing it'd all come back to you with a much larger impact.

"someone i like," he replies in his classic monotonous voice, as if he couldn't care less about not telling you who he has a crush on. it's exactly how it was back in middle school. had it not been for your friend, you wouldn't have known she was the one osamu had been planning to ask out all along. "goes to the same university as us, might even be in your biochem class,"

and your mind traces over the image of every single person in your class, crossing out the names that don't seem to fit osamu's taste in romantic partners. it's not the first time you're doing this. in fact, you've gotten used to figuring out whether he would be interested in someone just by looking at them. it's something you've learnt as you got better at hiding your feelings.

you've known him long enough to know who he might date yet still, couldn't bring yourself to believe that you could possibly have a chance with him.

"well, i can't tell you if i don't know the person," something about you makes osamu believe that you're a cupid. you're good at reading people, welcoming, albeit not so good at reaching out to strangers, but you are likeable, more than likeable, actually.

he has seen you set people up, including himself, and excluding yourself. the reason why you're not interested in pursuing someone anymore is beyond his comprehension. you have your fair share of knowledge about relationships, have dated a couple of guys before giving up altogether. it's not like your relationships didn't work, but it always seemed as if you were better off without them.

even while dating, it looks like your eyes are looking for someone else while being in someone's arms.

he sighs, putting down his phone. "just tell me what you like, people aren't much different after all,"

"uh, well, i hate public confessions and people who confess through calls and texts," which stands true for most the people out there. public confessions are more of a show off and confessing through texts is just, not enough. "also, i like to stay at home or be at some cafe so like, arcades, amusement parks and places like those aren't up to my liking either,"

you notice the smile on his face, along with the dreamy eyes and make him look prettier than he already is. frankly, the idea of osamu doing everything you like to ask someone else out hurts more than it should. you're probably not the only persons with those likes and dislikes. you know you should be happy for him and the person he likes because in the end, osamu is everything you, or anyone, could ask for.

"what about flowers? lilacs?" he asks, getting back to his phone.

"what are you doing, congratulating someone on their graduation?" his lips instantly curve into a frown, and you know in his head, he's snickering about how he is not the best when it comes to picking flowers, and that you shouldn't make fun of him for this. "i'd say tulips, they're a better gifts for first dates and confessions,"

one day, back in first year of university, osamu asked you why you don't seek relationships anymore. thinking about it now, you never gave him an absolute answer.

on some days, the answer would be academics, other days, it would be sadness looming over your shoulders after watching your ex with someone else. sometimes, you would excuse it by saying it's a waste of time and when asked when you're drunk, you'd say it's because you already have someone in mind, someone who can't be yours, no matter how much you try.

on some days, you wonder if osamu ever thinks about all the answers, or excuses, you gave to his question. there are times when the worlds makes compels you to believe that osamu likes you back, but then you realise that if he did, he wouldn't have asked out others all this time. you did drop hints regarding your feelings for him, and he failed to catch on for he for too busy looking at everyone except you.

"i wonder why you don't date anymore," the question arises again, flooding all the memories back into your head.

"i did have someone i liked, but he likes someone else," and you realise you can't lie to him anymore. "so, i gave up," osamu finds it amusing how you say those words with a smile, and he finds it despairing knowing that now, you've simply learnt to live with pain while pretending to be okay.

he shoots you a comforting smile, "i hope that wouldn't be the case for me,"

"me too," and you smile back.

he gets off your bed, picking up his jacket while offering soft apologies for the state your bed is in because of him. sometimes, you feel like there should be a warning for everyone who dates him : caution, this man doesn't know how to keep the bed clean. there are nights when you go to sleep thinking about how you're probably the only one who can keep up with this habit of his, and then wake up realising that it wasn't a problem to anyone it now so, it wouldn't be in future either.

it's like oscillating between the possibility and impossibility of him and you, caressing your little heart with false hope.

"ah, what should i say while confessing?" he shoots another question, making you snicker in annoyance.

"c'mon 'samu, you're not asking someone out for the first time,"

"just tell me,"

and you allow yourself to get lost in thoughts again. for a brief second, you consider telling him to not confess. the reason? your feelings, but again, you and him aren't meant to be together in the first place. it's just like how the saying goes— cupids must not fall in love— and you did the forbidden, knowing it would hurt you ten folds more every time you tie his threads with someone that's not you.

"i don't know, just give the flowers and ask if they'd like to go out with you or something," he chimes a faint thank you before leaving your room, and then your apartment. this time, you don't walk up to the door to see him off, neither do you wish him good luck, and surprisingly, osamu doesn't seem to notice your minute absence either.

it's fine, you tell yourself, one of you has to start getting accustomed to the other's absence. while the process has already begun for you, you hope osamu gets used to it as well. you need him to stop reaching you out for relationship advices because you don't know how long you can compose yourself before shattering once again. you try to distract yourself with essays due next month or even further, reading chapters that haven't been taught in class, reading research papers; just anything that can keep your mind off osamu.

you don't want to think about him, or what he's doing. maybe, he's buying the flowers, making preparations or calling his crush and asking them to meet him at their favourite place. even better if his crush confessed while he has been preparing a proposal of his own, it would be cinematic. you don't want to think about him at all, but the more you try, the deeper he engraves inside your mind.

the evening rolls by with you still sitting at your study desk with a bunch of papers lying around a not one complete work. there are rain splatters on your windows and you hope the off-season showers haven't ruined his confession. you can't wish for the other person to like him back, so you just wish for his happiness; whatever makes him happy, even if it means pushing him away.

and when you manage to drag yourself to the kitchen to grab something to eat and make yourself feel better, the sound of your doorbell hits your ears. the rain hits harder, you muster up the energy to walk up to the door.

there's osamu standing with a love sick smile and slightly wet hair, along with rain splatters on his shirt, and the bouquet of tulips in his hand. "will you go out with me?"

#♡ hues'.#♡ handmade.#this is not angst trust me #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #osamu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu fic #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu headcanons #osamu fluff #osamu headcanons #osamu drabbles #osamu fic #osamu angst #haikyuu angst #miya osamu #haikyuu osamu

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neymarsangel · 1 year

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Pit Lane - Charles Leclerc x Verstappen!reader

Charles Leclerc x verstappen!reader

Requested? Yes/No - hello 🫀Could I request one that reader is Max Verstappen sister and is dating Charles. She isn’t a driver but is always in the pits for them.She suffers from asthma and in one career she has a really bad attack thats ends with her fainting and in the hospital because she couldn’t breath. Maybe it could be because her inhaler is empty and she didn’t have the time to get more.Would love to see how her brother, boyfriend, dad, friends (the drivers) reacts to the news

Thank youuu 🫂💕

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, mentions of accidents, Jos Verstappen if that counts…

Word Count: 6.2K

—

Max was as overprotective as they come so when it came to light that you were dating his childhood rival and rival on the track he wasn’t exactly pleased. You were having a family dinner at your Mum’s when she asked you to quickly grab her a fork, obliging you left the table and also your phone by your seat. You were sitting beside Max who saw your phone screen light up as you left. Glancing over he saw a certain someone had sent you a text.

Char <3: Enjoy spending time with your family mon amour, I’ll call you when you’re home x

Max quickly snatched your phone from its spot just as you walked back into the dining room to catch him. His face was flooded with anger at the text he’d just read, something you picked up on the second you walked back into the room. Your brows furrowed as you spoke.

“What?” His eyes met yours at the sudden sound of your voice. “Why do you have my phone?”

“Why is Leclerc texting you?” He asked in a bitter tone.

“Sorry?” You tried playing dumb but Max could always see through your lies.

“Don’t lie to me!” He spat, holding your phone up. “Why the fuck is he calling you ‘love’? Are you two -”

“Max now is not the time.” Your Mum cut him off, staring at the two of you. “y/n just sit down, come on let’s just eat. It’s rare I get the three of you here for dinner at the same time.”

Victoria gave you a look, she knew. When you were younger Max went to stay with your Dad so he could pursue his Formula 1 career whereas Victoria stayed with your Mum. You were the odd one out. Max and you were always close, since the day you were born he’d always looked after you, he did the same with Victoria but he was just that little bit more protective of you but he had a reason to be. Being only seven you ended up staying with your Mum until you turned eighteen when you were finally reunited with Max for good.

Max quickly learnt a few drivers had taken a liking to you, especially Charles and Pierre. You’d met Charles before when he and Max would kart together. As a kid Max hated Charles, always complaining that Charles kept trying to push him off the track but as the two grew older they learnt to put their bitterness aside. You knew deep down that Max and Charles still had that rivalry, especially as they were now competing to be World Champions.

Moving in with Max meant going to every single one of his races, which also meant seeing Charles every single week. Normally he would always be accompanied by Pierre Gasly, a man who would flirt with anyone that took a breath whereas Charles was more subtle. It started out with small talk and then he’d show up to the post-race celebrations, get you away from Max so you could have a conversation that wasn’t just ‘hey, how are you?’. Conversations at the club turned into sneaking around with one another in hotels and the rest is history.

Max was yet to know about you and Charles. The pair of you had kept your secret from him for eight months. It hurt to keep it away from him, he was your older brother and the one person in the family that you could actually tell everything to well, everything but this. You knew if Max found out he’d lose his shit and you knew he wasn’t the cleanest driver on the grid at times. Part of you worried that if he found out he’d pull off a stupid stunt on the track and land the two of them in the hospital so you kept it from him.

“I’m not sitting here and eating fucking potatoes when my sister clearly has something going on with Charles Leclerc!” Max screamed, standing up and shooting you a glare. “What is going on between you and Leclerc?”

“Max please just calm down -” Your Mum spoke.

“Calm down? She’s been lying to my face!” He took a deep breath. “How long?”

You didn’t want an argument but you knew it would come eventually. “Eight months -”

“Eight fucking months?” His words were bitter. “Eight fucking months and you didn’t think to tell me?”

“You’d lose your shit if you knew! You can be such an idiot on that track and I don’t want you pulling some pathetic stunt that gets both of you killed!” You spat back.

“It’s not me you have to worry about crashing, that prat can’t even finish a race!”

“Don’t you dare start insulting him, not when he’s only ever spoken good things about you in the media unlike some of those drivers on the grid!”

“Yeah now I know why! He only done it to please you!” He ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t believe my own sister would go around with the man who’s considered my rival, you might as well be dating Lewis Hamilton!”

“Max that’s enough!” Your Mum snapped. “Both of you!”

“So is that where you’ve been going when you tell me you’re going to y/b/f’s house for the weekend? You’ve been with him? All those nights you stayed out late and asked me not to wait up, you were with him, weren’t you?”

“Of course I was Max!” Tears and panic were filling your body at the sight of Max’s rage.

“Why him y/n?” His voice now turned to pain. “Anyone but a shitty driver on the grid.” He slumped back down in his chair as you spun on your heel and left the room, feeling yourself getting short of breath you pushed your mother's bedroom door open and sat on the edge of your bed, trying to calm your breathing but nothing would work. Reaching for your inhaler you were able to steady yourself, calming yourself to the point of not feeling short of breath.

“He’s such a dickhead.” The voice of your sister caught your attention. She gave you a warm smile as she sat beside you, noticing your inhaler in your hand. “You need to take it easy, stress makes your breathing worse and you know that.”

“Rather hard when your brother starts screaming at you like that.” You leaned your head on her shoulder, closing your eyes as she wrapped her arm around you.

“I know but you know Max, can’t control his emotions to save his life… thank god he was never born a woman, imagine if he had a period every month.” You smiled at her words, letting out a light laugh. “Don’t worry about him, Charles is a decent guy. Mum likes him and Dad has always said he’s a good driver which automatically means he respects him. It’s just Max you’ll have to work on.”

“And what do you think of him?” You looked up at her.

She shrugged with a small smirk on her face. “You think you could set me up with Pierre now you and Charles are together?”

You laughed at her words before speaking. “I think Max would kill us.”

“Maybe so but I don’t think Mum would let him.”

Victoria continued to calm you down, meanwhile, your Mum was giving Max a lecture, almost like he was a child.

“Did you need to do that?” She set the food aside and gave Max a glare.

“I don’t want her around him -”

“Max she’s twenty-one, not a child. She can make her own decisions.”

“I’ve seen how some of these drivers act, I don’t trust them.”

“Does Charles act like that?”

Max pondered on the thought. “No…”

“Then why are you so uptight about all of this?”

“Because he might be like that.”

“Then that’s her lesson to learn. I’ve met him far too many times and even I can tell you that he’s not like that. He clearly cares about her and he was raised to be a polite and smart lad. You know that.”

“I still don’t like it.”

“Doesn’t give you the right to yell at her like that. She’s clearly happy with him, don’t you want that for her?”

“Of course I do.” Max gave her a sad expression. “But I want her to be safe.”

“Max,” Your Mum took his hand into hers, smiling at him as she spoke. “I know you care for her especially as she was always there for you at your races and when I and your father split it was hard on you both but you know deep down she isn’t going anywhere. He won’t take her away from this family, she’s still your baby sister.”

Max knew she was right but it was still hard for him. He missed being around his family and all he wanted was for all of you to be as close to one another as possible but that would never happen. People move on, Victoria already had and that pained him knowing everyone was slowly growing apart. With your parents split he never got to have what most children did, he never got to have dinner with the family every night, he never got to go on family days out or even just stay inside and watch a film with one another. It was something so small but something he so desperately longed for.

When it was clear that Max wanted to be a racing driver he never got a day off. He always had to train and that meant leaving you, his Mum and Victoria. So when you made the decision to move in with him he was over the moon. His Mum visited more and you were by his side. He had his family back, maybe not how he wanted but it was enough for him but the thought of you moving away to be with Charles meant he wouldn’t see you, Victoria or his Mum as often. His head just swarmed itself with the memories of being left with his Dad at eleven, no Mum or sisters by his side.

Max didn’t sat anything else, he only nodded, knowing his Mum was right he got up and made his way towards her bedroom. Softly knocking on the door he waited for you or Victoria to give him the all-clear to enter. His heart ached at the sight of you clutching your inhaler, a clear sign he’d set your asthma off.

“Can I speak to y/n?” He directed his question to Victoria.

“If you don’t plan on screaming at her then I don’t see a problem with it.”

“I’m not.”

Victoria looked down at you, waiting for the nod of approval from you. A silent signal that you were happy to speak to Max. She lifted herself from the bed, glaring at her older brother before leaving the two of you to talk.

Max shuffled into the room, a glum expression on his face as he sat beside you. “Did you need to use it?” He pointed to the inhaler. You only nodded, making a surge of guilt fly through him. “I’m sorry I just… I just don’t want this family to fall apart -”

“And you think Charles Leclerc is going to make us fall apart?” You arched your brows at him.

“No, but it’ll play a part. You know all I ever want to do when I have free time is just relax with you, Mum and Victoria.”

“And Charles and I dating is going to suddenly stop that?”

He huffed in frustration as he tried to get his words out. “No, but it means I won’t see you as much anymore. It means it’ll be harder to get everyone round for dinner as you’ll always be out with him, Victoria is always travelling -”

“Max I’m not going to just get up and walk out of your life. Do you not think I feel the same way too? I never got to see you and Dad as much as I wanted to as a kid and now I see the pair of you pretty much every day. Yes if Charles and I move in together I won’t see you every day but I’ll still be at every single race. I’ll still be living in the same area as you. It’s not like he’s going to lock me away from ever seeing you again.”

“Are you happy with him?” Max suddenly looked down at you, changing the subject slightly.

“I am, Max.”

“And do you love him?”

“I do.”

“Does he love you?”

“He says he does, every single day so I bloody hope it’s true.” Max broke a small smile at your words, following Victoria's actions he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his side.

“Then I’ll allow it. Can’t promise I won’t start a fight or let the two of you hold hands around me but I’ll allow it.”

“Oh glad I’ve got the permission of my brother.” You smirked at him before breaking into a smile.

“Just wait till Dad finds out.”

“I plan to never tell him, he doesn’t need to know.”

“Yeah, good luck.” Max laughed knowing that if he reacted like that then Jos would hit the roof.

That all happened a few months ago. Jos did find out but thankfully Max was there to ease everything. He didn’t lose his shit as much as you had expected him to but that didn’t mean he liked the idea of his daughter dating a Formula 1 driver, especially one who drove for a rival team but Charles had managed to survive a dinner with your family which meant things were destined to last.

—

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” Charles hummed as his hand smoothed down your hair. You were laying on his chest as the sun from the outside world made your hotel room glow like gold. Today was the day of the French Grand Prix, a race Charles was hopeful about.

“Me too.” You replied, your hand tracing his chest before looking up at him. “How are you feeling about today?”

“Confident.” He replied, a small smile on his face. “I think I can win it today if I get a good start and we can actually get our strategy right then I can put some distance between us and Red Bull.” He looked down at you, his smile turning to a smirk. “Or you could tell Max to lay off me just this once.”

Laughing at his reply you let your head fall onto his chest before replying. “Not sure if that would work, he already isn’t your biggest fan.”

Charles moved his hand and used it to move your face to look at him again. “So? His sister is.” He leant down and took your lips into his. He’d never get bored of the feeling of having you in his arms with your lips on his. He let his tongue slide across your bottom lip as he spare hand went to your waist, pulling you onto his lap so you were now straddling him as the kiss deepened. He tugged on your bottom lip, loving the way you softly moaned at the sensation.

You pulled away from the kiss slightly as you felt his hands begin to trail up your thighs. “You have a race to get to.”

“We’ve got some time-”

“Hardly any.” You muttered against his lips.

“We've had less before and we made it work… besides…” He brushed your hair out of your face. “It’ll be my good luck charm.”

“I thought I was that.”

“You are, I just might need a little extra luck looking at the state of our strategy.” Laughing against his lips you melted into his touch as he leant up and flipped the two of you over. He ducked his head down and began to kiss your neck. Your eyes glanced over to the clock beside the bed.

He was right, you had time.

—

You watched as Charles took his helmet into his hands, looking down and smiling at the photo of you and him tucked inside the padding before meeting your soft y/e/c eyes. “You always look so worried when I’m about to get into the car.” He pouted at your expression. He always hated seeing you like this. The thought of having your brother and boyfriend taking part in one of the most dangerous sports in the world which was responsible for so many deaths caused your anxiety to spiral. Something Charles unfortunately knew all too well.

“Just be safe please.”

Charles walked towards you, setting his helmet aside he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. “You know I will.” He pecked your lips. “I will always come back, I can promise you that.” His eyes scanned your face, he would never get bored of seeing how your eyes would look up at him with such love.

“You better.”

“I will.” This time the kiss felt different, it always did before a race. It was always a silent promise that he would come back to you, no matter what happened out there. “I’ll meet you at the garage when the race is over.”

You nodded, the two of you sharing one last kiss before he stepped away and put his helmet on. “Good luck Char.” You leant up to kiss the top of his helmet before you turned away to join your family at the Red Bull garage.

“y/n!” You turned back to the man dressed in red. Charles was jogging up to you, slipping his helmet off before pressing his lips onto yours once again. He cupped your jaw as he deepend the kiss, he smiled against your lips as he pulled back, missing the sweetness of your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled back as you kissed him again, swiping your tongue on his bottom lip, teasing him after the antics of the morning. Charles wanted more but he couldn’t. Not yet anyway. The pair of you pulled back eventually. Charles blew you one last kiss as you left him. “Please be careful!”

“I will mon amour!” He called back, his head turning to see you walk away.

“You know,” A Spanish accent filled the air. “I can’t decide if you two make me want to be sick or if you two are just cute together,” Carlos smirked at Charles who was clearly smitten with the Verstappen girl.

“You sound like her brother.” He replied, glancing over his shoulder one last time only to see that you’d already gone to find your brother. No matter how long or how much you loved Charles you made one promise to yourself and that was to watch the race from the Red Bull garage. Max was still your brother and the one person who’d be there if things ever fell apart.

“Afternoon y/n.” Christain Horner welcomed you as you made your way through the groups of mechanics to find your family.

“Hello, Christian.” You smiled back at the man.

“Did you ask your boyfriend to have a shit start so we could get some pace on him?”

“Think you might struggle this time around, he seems pretty confident and Ferrari seem to have a set plan for this race.”

“Can always rely on you for insider information.” Max’s voice snatched your attention. He opened his arms for a hug, an action you quickly obliged with. “Wonder what he’d think if he found out you were telling us all their secrets!” He joked as the two of you shared a hug.

“What can I say? I clearly have a favourite.” You went along with his words although Max knew as much as you loved him and always showed your brother endless support that you would much rather see Charles win a World Championship than him.

“You should do, he’s your brother.” Jos quickly joined the conversation, pulling you away from your brother for a hug.

“Hello to you too Dad.” You hugged him back before Max spoke again.

“How’s he feeling? Confident?”

“As always.” You replied. “And you?”

“Easy win.” He winked before breaking into a small laugh. “It’ll be a challenge as always but if we get a good start, do our pitstops in a smart way then I can’t see why we can’t be on the podium.”

“I can’t see why you can’t finish in P1 today.” Your Dad joined in, making you and Max share a quick look.

As much as Jos cared for you and your sister he always seemed to have a different attitude towards Max. As you got older you began to understand he was living his dream through him. Jos wasn’t good enough for Formula 1 but Max was. He’d already won a Championship and was set to win many more in his career. The treatment your Dad gave to Max was beyond unfair but Max hadn’t known anything else. The pair of you would often talk about it but Max refused to ever admit that Jos was in the wrong, he just thought that was how a Dad was supposed to be.

“You’ve got Charles for competition so maybe aim for P2.” You quickly spoke, trying to brush off the harsh words of your father.

“Don’t think I can do it?” Max pretended to look offended. “My own sister turning against me for Charles Leclerc!” He placed his hand on his chest. “Maybe you should go watch the race with Ferarri.”

“Oh shut up.” You shoved him slightly as Max made his way to the car. “Be safe.”

“I’ll try.” He smiled as he grabbed his helmet, waving at you one last time as you and Jos joined Victoria to watch the race unfold.

Charles had started well. You had to try your best not to celebrate in front of the Red Bull mechanics and your family but your joy didn’t last. In the eighteenth lap just after Red Bull had completed an incredible pit stop your heart sank. The camera suddenly cut to someone in the wall and then your boyfriend's name was mentioned. You saw his number proudly against the car, you didn’t need a commentator to confirm your fears.

Charles didn’t move for a few seconds and in a fit of fear you threw your headphones off as you felt your heart race and your breathing increase which meant you missed his radio confirming that he was in fact okay. Your eyes fell onto the screen again and Charles was still not moving, the camera cut away, a sign that was never good in Formula 1.

Victoria picked up on your distress immediately. Growing up alongside you she always knew when an asthma attack was on the rise. Stress and panic always grew when you watched races, you knew you should stay away from the sport when your nerves were on the rise but you couldn’t do that to Max and Charles.

“y/n…” Victoria grabbed your forearm, pulling you away from the small crowd of people watching the race. “It's okay, he’s okay…”

“He didn’t move -”

“He’s probably in shock, he’ll be okay. It wasn’t a bad crash -”

“It doesn’t need to be.” Your voice was failing you as your chest started to ache. Victoria grabbed your bag from around your shoulder, sensing you needed your inhaler she pulled it out of your bag, handed it to you and directed your hand to mouth but when you pressed the silver button nothing happened. Hers and your eyes widened at the lack of sound indicating that the device had worked. “Shit… I forgot…”

Before every single race, Charles always asked you to check your inhaler and make sure it wasn’t running low. He couldn’t even begin to think of what would happen if something went wrong when he wasn’t around. He knew how important it was, especially if either you or Max got hurt or into a collision. He also always kept a spare on him just in case you needed it and you had left it behind. The only problem was Charles was climbing out of his crashed car with no inhaler on him.

Victoria knew she had to think fast or you would end up in serious trouble. She screamed for Jos who wasn’t paying much attention, too focused on the race until he saw his youngest daughter clutching her chest as she sunk to the floor. Forgetting that Max was now on his way to winning another race he called for help, alerting a steward of what was taking place. Within seconds the ambulance team was in the Red Bull garage attending to you.

Meanwhile, Charles was on the side of the track, screaming in frustration at his mistake. With his head in his hands, he sobbed his heart out. Through teary eyes, he looked down at his helmet and saw the photo of the two of you. He knew you’d be waiting for him when he got back, waiting to take the pain away and that was all he needed right now.

If only he knew.

“Mr Leclerc you need to go to the medical tent.” One of the safety managers called over to him as he stormed back to the garages. Anger was still running through his veins at what had happened.

“Fuck off I’m fine.” He took a deep breath as he walked into the garage.

“You may feel fine but you need to be checked over, it’s an FIA rule, please -”

Charles scanned the garage yet couldn’t find you. Despite always watching the races in the Red Bull garage you would always leave the second anything happened to him on the track. You would always be waiting at the Ferarri garage for him or you’d meet him at the medical tent if the team had been told that he was sent there. “Where’s y/n?” He ignored the man's pleas.

“She isn’t here.” A mechanic spoke. “Hasn’t turned up.”

Charles scrunched his face up in confusion. “She isn’t in my room?”

“We would have seen or heard her.” Another mechanic spoke. She hasn’t come here. Maybe she’s still at Red Bull.”

“But she always comes here.”

“Maybe she saw you get out and decided to stay and watch her brother win.” The mechanic turned his gaze to the television mounted on the wall. Charles followed his gaze to see Max Verstappen leading the race but it still didn’t make sense. You’d seen him crash a fair few times and saw him get out of the car safely yet you always came here, even if Max was winning.

Charles didn’t say anything as he left the Ferrari garage and headed down to the Red Bull garage. Your relationship was public so he knew if cameras were following him closely it wouldn't spark rumours that he was attempting to sign with Red Bull to escape Ferrari.

“Is y/n here?” He announced to no one in particular. A few mechanics and friends of Max and Checo looked around at one another, unsure whether they should tell Charles what had just happened. The brunette picked up on their uncertainty almost instantly. “What?”

Checo’s wife took her headphones off and gestured for Charles to follow her. He quickly followed the woman, his concern growing. Making sure the pair of them were away from prying ears she spoke. “She saw you crash and the panic got to her -”

“Has she just gone back to the hotel?” Charles quickly asked.

“She had an asthma attack and her inhaler was out. She’d forgotten to change it and they had to call the ambulance team. We’ve been told she’s all okay, she’s at the medical tent -” Charles didn’t need to hear the rest. He quickly turned on his heel and sprinted out of the garage and towards the medical tent, not caring that he probably shouldn’t have been running considering he’d just crashed into a wall.

—

“Is Charles okay?” You asked, propped up in bed whilst the medic team checked your heart rate. You were put on a ventilator, something you were used to after growing up with asthma. Victoria and Jos were by your side through the whole thing. Thankfully you started to breathe on your own after a while, the medics were running their last checks to make sure you didn’t need to be sent to a specialist.

“He got out of the car just fine. He was walking around after.” Your Dad held your hand as he sat beside the bed, his eyes glancing back and forth between you and the race.

“He’s okay y/n.” Victoria chimed in.

“He should have joined you in here for his own checks but I’ve been told he’s refused a medical check-up.” The paramedic tending to you reassured you. “That means he must be fine.”

You gave the woman a small smile, resting your head back and letting out a steady breath. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Miss Verstappen.” She stepped back. “You’ll be fine but maybe this is a lesson to always carry an inhaler that works.”

“Charles always has one on him just in case.”

“No good when he’s in a wall.” Your Dad replied.

“Maybe we should start carrying a spare just in case,” Victoria spoke.

“Or maybe I should remember to get mine replaced.” You chimed in.

“That too but if Charles can carry one for you then I think we could too, just in case.”

Almost like he was summoned by the sound of his own name Charles darted into the room, still in his race suit his eyes fell on you. Suddenly all the anger and hurt from crashing out of the race disappeared and the only thing he could think of was you. “Ma belle fille…” Charles hurried himself over to you. Jos moved from your side allowing Charles to sit beside you. He took your hands into his, pressing small kisses into your skin. “What happened?”

“I fainted but I’m okay.” You ran your thumbs over the top of his hand. “It was just an asthma attack.”

“Love it’s not ‘just an asthma attack.” His eyes met yours. “It’s serious, you could have landed yourself in a lot of trouble, we were lucky you only landed yourself in here.”

“I know.” You looked down, slightly ashamed that you had caused all of this just because you forgot to get your inhaler replaced.

“Hey,” Charles moved his hand to tilt your head back up to face him before he planted a short yet meaningful kiss on your lips. “I’m just glad you’re okay, you nearly made me faint when I got back to the garage and saw you weren’t there.” He smiled.

“We’ll give you two some space.” Victoria pulled Jos out of the room. “I won’t tell Max what happened, I’ll let him bask in the glory first.” She winked before leaving the room with your Dad who looked displeased to leave you alone with Charles despite the two of you living together.

“Are you okay?” You turned the conversation back to him.

“Hmm…” He hummed back. “It was all my fault, I’m never going to be a World Champion if I can’t keep the lead of a race without fucking it all up.”

“One mistake doesn’t define your career Char.” Squeezing his hand you gave him a reassuring smile.

“Thank you.” He returned the smile. “It just feels as if I’m not set to win a Championship.”

“Why? Because you crashed the odd time? The world knows it’s not your fault, fans blame the team and they’re right in doing so. They ruined so many of your and Carlos’ races, races the pair of you could have easily won and gained more points than Max. The season isn’t over yet and if things don’t go to plan this season then you always have next season.”

He got up and leaned over to kiss the top of your head before placing a small light kiss on your lips before returning to his seat. “Thank you. I don’t deserve you.” He kissed your hand again, looking up at you with his eyes full of love. “I don’t even want to go out there and talk to the press.” He huffed, leaning his head on the bed as he changed the subject.

“You don’t have to.” Your hands started to play with his hair. “You can just stay here.”

“Oh, I plan on it.” He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath as he melted into your touch, finally feeling calm. “Although I’ll have to speak to them eventually.”

“I’m sure you can weave around it besides, just tell them what you told me.”

“Not sure that’s going to work on everyone, most fans don’t think I deserve to even be considered as a title contender.”

“Since when did you care about what others think?” You raised your brows at the man. “Char, you drive Formula 1 cars for a living and they spend their money to see you drive those cars, you really care about what some low-life fan who can’t even drive a normal car thinks?”

Charles raised his head from the bed and looked at you with a smile. “Such a way with words Verstappen.”

“I do try Leclerc.” You both leaned forward to one another when a sudden bang of a door opened.

Max was standing in the doorway alongside Daniel and Lando. When Daniel and Max were teammates you grew close to the Australian who would spend most of his time showing you his playlists on his phone and telling you the stories of his life. Daniel had been on adventures you only read about in books, you could listen to him all day. Lando and you grew close due to Max treating the boy like a younger brother. The two of you were also close in age which was an added bonus when it came to conversation. As Lando once said ‘sometimes these old men don’t understand us’.

“Fucking hell y/n are you okay?” Max shoved Charles out of his chair, not caring that Charles could have been hurt as he’d been involved in a crash. “What happened? What did they give you?”

“I’m fine Max.” You smiled at your brother. “It was my fault, I had an asthma attack but my inhaler was empty. I fainted but I’m okay -”

“You don’t sound it,” Daniel spoke up, making his way to the bed, not caring that Charles was now sitting on the floor after being pushed by his old teammate. “Here.” Daniel handed you one of his hoodies, making sure you were comfortable as you lay in bed.

“You know I have hoodies if you want them,” Charles announced from the floor, his face already fed up with Daniel's antics.

“I’ve got a few too,” Lando spoke, a smirk on his face. All three drivers received a glare from Max, a silent warning that if they continued he’d deal with them on the track. “But I’m sure you’re fine.” Lando quickly said, clearly scared of Max.

“Thank you, Lando.” You tried to suppress your laughter as you spoke again. “And you too Daniel.”

The Aussie helped you put the hoodie on, making sure you were warm and comfortable before laying back down. Whilst Daniel made sure you were comfortable Lando grabbed you a drink and left it on the side for when you were ready.

“Thought you would have gotten her all this Leclerc,” Max suggested, knowing his words would annoy him.

“I was too busy making out with her Verstappen.” Charles knew his words would annoy your brother.

“What did you say?” Max stood up, his actions quickly causing Charles to scramble to his feet.

“I’m just saying…” Charles smirked. “She tastes good -”

“That’s my sister you dickhead!” Max lunged at Charles but he missed, allowing Charles to sprint to Daniel, holding him and using him as a human shield but Max couldn’t care less. Lando used his brain and moved out of the way towards you, watching the whole scene unfold with a smile on his lips.

“It was a joke!” Charles screamed, trying to defend himself as he made a run for the door.

“Well…” Daniel looked over at you. “Least you don’t have to worry about your boyfriend being injured… from the car at least…”

#charles leclerc x oc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc one shot #charles leclerc lockscreens #charles leclerc blurb #charles leclerc #formula 1 #f1 x oc #f1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 fanfic

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simp4wom3n · 1 year

Text

The Quiet One Pt.I

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x fem!Reader

Requested: Yes/No ~ request @perfectartisanwerewolf

Summary: Ghost face's dramatic return causes many to point the finger at 'the loner' of Woodsboro High, Y/n, a horror loving, lonesome girl who appears to have an obsession with ghost face's first victim, Tara. ~ Word Count: 5.272k ~ Warnings: descriptions of being stabbed and blood, a lot of swearing

A/N: Hi!! first Tara fic and omg I fkn LOVED writing this although it got looooooong which is why i'm making this is 2 (maybe 3) part series. Hopefully you guys enjoy the first part and want more because, maybe its just me, but writing about horror is incredibly enjoyable. I love you all and enjoy <3

Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5

"I dunno that y/n kid is weird. She seriously creeps me out." Amber spoke with a grimace, briefly glancing in your direction. Like every other day, you were sitting alone on your chosen bench, only a few metres away from the others, with nothing but the sound of your music playing softly through your headphones and the words of the book you had chosen to read accompanying you.

You used to try and be sociable, consistently putting yourself out there despite your introverted nature. You tried you really did. After many failed attempts and being met with nothing but resentment, you eventually just gave up, deciding that you were destined for solitude.

The only person who even acknowledged your existence these days was Tara Carpenter, the very girl you happened to have a massive crush on. Before you had shut yourself off from society, she was the one person who showed you any bit of kindness. You would often exchange small talk when walking between shared classes, or even on occasion try to sit with her at lunch, although that didn't last long - you learnt pretty quickly that her friends didn't enjoy your company.

Tara absolutely captivated you. It blew your mind that someone even looked at you without judgement, let alone have their eyes brighten at the sight of you. She was the one person who you felt safe around at school, the one person you knew wasn't just talking to you for a dare or some stupid prank. Perhaps that's why you fell for her as quickly as you did.

Whenever her eyes met yours, butterflies would erupt in your stomach and your heartbeat would increase tenfold. Whilst your time with her was very limited, every conversation you had, every laugh you shared, your feelings for the girl only grew.

Along with your cowardice, there was always something stopping you from telling Tara how you felt. Her 'best friend' Amber. You would have to be legally blind to not see that Amber hated you with her whole heart - you were clueless as to why though. Whenever you and Tara had been talking for 'too long', she would always swoop in and pull her away, leaving you once again alone.

It was one particular occasion that had changed you.

Pulling your headphones out of your bag on your way towards you bike, you were about to put them on before you heard a voice that instantly made your lips quirk into a smile. "Y/n hey wait up" Tara called after you, causing you to turn around and watch her run towards you. "Hi" you laughed as she finally reached you, slightly out of breath but with a warm smile nonetheless. "You seriously thought you could just go home for the holidays without saying goodbye?" she laughed in feign offence, causing you to chuckle awkwardly.

You hadn't necessarily been 'avoiding' her, you were just taking the easy route, knowing that if you kept talking to her, you were inevitably going to confess your feelings for her - something that you definitely wanted to avoid. She was the only friend you had. Sure, your heart longed for you two being more than friends, but to you, nothing was worth losing what you already had.

"Sorry..." you gave her a tight lipped smile as you fidgeted with your hands, all of a sudden feeling very awkward as your thoughts started getting the better of you. "No need to apologise" she smiled, "I just wanted to see you before you went home so... yeah... I'll see you next year I guess". She went to turn around and head back to her friends, but without realising it, before she could walk away, you had swiftly grabbed ahold of her arm.

Her questioning eyes met yours as she turned back towards you, your words caught in your throat as you try to comprehend what the fuck you were doing. "Sorry I... I just need to tell you something." 'Y/n stop it what the fuck are you doing', Your heart and your brain were at war with each other as you stared at Tara, who was patiently waiting for you to find your words.

"Ok... ok I'm just going to say it... Tara, I really, really li-" "Hey Tara! what the hell are you doing talking to this weirdo" Your face dropped as you caught a glimpse of who had interrupted you. Unsurprisingly, you watched as Amber walked past you and wrapped her arm around Tara shoulders.

You stood frozen. Your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you felt tears begin to well in your eyes. 'This cannot be fucking happening' is what was replaying in your mind as you turned away from the two girls, trying your best to hold back your cries. Tara remained silent, half annoyed at Amber for interrupting your conversation, but also confused as to what you were going to tell her.

She watched as you swiftly grabbed your things and unlocked your bike, obviously trying to get away from the situation as fast as you physically could. "Y/n wait-" she finally spoke before you cut her off, "See you next year Tara" she could hear a slight break in your voice as you hopped on your bike and quickly rode off.

You hadn't been the same since.

Ever since you returned for the new year, you had been avoiding Tara like the plague, knowing full well that if you talked to her she would ask you what you were going to say.

Your interactions diminished into short-lived glances. You were often so caught up in your own world that you wouldn't even notice Tara's presence anymore, despite her many attempts to interact with you. She was now left with only being able to watch you as you walk through the halls, and risk a quick glance to the back of the classroom where you now sat alone.

"Don't be mean, Tara seems to like her so she can't be that bad." Wes defends you, evidently having some sympathy. Amber looks back at him with eyebrows raised. "Yeah, and look where that got her." "Amber!" "Dude what the hell!". A myriad of complaints came from the group's mouthes at the comment. It had been less than a day since Tara had been attacked by the new ghost face, sending waves of fear throughout the small town and sparking the so-called blame game to erupt.

When the news of her attack broke, you felt numb. You blended further into the background as you did your best to ignore the news. You wanted to visit her, make sure she was ok, talk to her, but you knew that even if her friends weren't protecting her like hawks, you would never build up the courage to go.

"What?! Have you not seen the creepy stares she gives her? And from what I've heard, she's obsessed with horror movies... most likely including Stab" She wasn't wrong, you did love horror movies, it was even one of the things that bonded you and Tara together, but you were more into the classics, choosing to stay away from new franchises such as stab - not that they knew that because, well, why would they.

"She has a point" Chad answers after a moment of contemplation, earning him a slap on the arm from his girlfriend. "What?! I'm just saying it would make sense" he pauses as he looks around the group, everyone giving him either a neutral expression or nodding along. "She doesn't talk to anyone, instead she just watches them, she is nowhere to be found when anything happens, and I can guarantee you she doesn't have an alibi for when Tara was attacked... It make's total sense"

"Look, I just don't think we should point fingers just yet. Everyone is a suspect so we can't trust anyone" Wes argues, earning another glare from Amber who rolls her eyes and grunts, "Sure, but don't expect me to help you when she's slitting your throat", before walking off.

You lived alone, residing in a sad little trailer in a small trailer park on the outskirts of Woodsboro. Months ago, your parents had packed up all of their things and left to an undisclosed location, for an undisclosed amount of time, leaving you alone and without any income, struggling to stay afloat in an ocean of bills and debt. Despite this, you rather enjoyed your life alone and away from the busy-ish streets of the small town - not to mention that the eerie location added to your horror movie viewing experience.

The only thing that connected your little 'community' of four people to the centre of town, was your neighbour, Dewey. The oh-so famous ex-sheriff Dewey. As much as you admittedly hated the fact that people knew this place existed because of him, you truly did love the guy. He was like a father to you. To the best of his ability, he tried to fill in the massive void left in your life after your parent's disappearance.

He was basically the only person you actually talked to anymore.

Everyday after school, when you would ride your rusted bike down the secluded and winding streets that surrounded your home, your first stop was always his trailer. Most days he would be waiting expectedly on his doorstep, greeting you with a smile as you ranted to him about your day.

He even knew about Tara.

He was the only person holding you afloat, and for that, you would do absolutely anything for the man.

That being said, your bike screeched to a halt as you pulled into the trailer park, instantly noticing an unfamiliar car parked outside of his home. 'Odd' you thought to yourself as you hopped off your bike, letting it fall to the ground before taking small and almost hesitant steps towards his door.

As you reached Dewey's truck, you heard the door open as two strangers practically fell out of it. You immediately ducked behind the truck as the door slammed shut behind them, attempting to peer around the side of the vehicle to catch a glimpse of who they were.

"Jesus" the man starts, "Yeah, he's way more fun in the movies". Your brows furrowed at the statement. 'What the fuck is happening' was your immediate thought as you saw them head to their car. "Ok... So what's next?" "The friends". You stayed hidden as they hopped in their car and drove away, still incredibly confused about the whole situation.

No one ever came out here.

Waiting until the car disappeared down the road, you reappeared from behind the truck and began walking towards his door. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open and you were met with an obviously somewhat distressed Dewey. He looks at you, surprised before he sighs and moves past you, heading for his truck.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or are you just gonna leave?" you call out to him, noticing the gun holstered on his hip as his steps didn't even falter as he walked hurriedly to the driver-side door. "Hello?!". Again no response. Deciding to run after him, you quickly jump off of his small porch and bolt towards his truck, managing to grab ahold of his door handle before he could reach it.

"Really? so we are ignoring each other now" He looks far from amused as he looks at you, a hint of fear in his eyes, causing your gaze to soften. "What going on?". He stays silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not to tell you. "It's about Tara." He starts, looking at you cautiously. "Her sister and her boyfriend came and asked for my help... with ghost face" "Ok... and your helping them? I thought you said you never wanted to go through that again" "Yeah well I don't, but I don't really have much of a choice" he finishes, pulling your hand off of the handle and opening the door.

You could see the mix of concern and fear in his eyes, whether it was for himself or for someone else you didn't know, but what you did know, was that if he was in danger, so were you - after all you basically depended on him.

"Well in that case... I'm coming with you" You stated firmly as you rounded the truck and quickly hopped into the passenger seat. "What! No you are not, get out and go back inside." "Not happening" you mumble as you fasten your seatbelt, choosing to ignore his words as you wait for him to start the car. "Y/n I swear to g-" "I said no!" You yelled, causing Dewey's eyes to widen slightly.

There was a moment of silence in the car when neither of you dared to speak. You sighed in relief when you finally heard him start the engine, fastening his own seatbelt. Just before he started backing out, he glanced at you, signalling that this was your last chance to get out.

You didn't budge.

As Dewey's truck groaned to a stop, you watched as Tara's sister and her boyfriend got out of their car and headed towards the door of a suburban home. You both stepped out of the truck before slamming the doors behind you, the noise of which caused their two heads to turn.

The sister looked at Dewey in a mix of confusion and relief as he spoke, "I have decided to temporarily assist you in your investigation". "Thank you" she replied, the ghost of a smile appearing on her face. Her eyes briefly shifted to you, stood behind Dewey as if he were a barricade, your face blank as you chewed on your lip in slight panic. She didn't question you though, she was just thankful that Dewey had offered to help, and if you were with him, she was all the more thankful.

As the four of you walked towards the door, you heard the boyfriend ask who you were, her reply being "I don't know". You understood their hesitation, I mean you were some random kid they had never met before who decided to tag along for a murder investigation so it wasn't necessarily 'normal'.

After the sister rang the door bell, you froze slightly as you watched Mindy answer the door. You suppose it was obvious that when Tara's sister said 'the friends' you should have caught on, but here you are looking like you had seen a ghost.

Sure, Mindy was always one of the nicer ones, or at least she had never openly threatened you or looked at you like you had committed some heinous crime, but that didn't make you any less terrified as to what was awaiting you inside the house you now knew belonged to the twins.

Hesitantly following the others, your head began to pound with the sound of your own heartbeat. As you entered the living room, you begged whatever was out there to let you disappear, turn into useless particles and drift away, because sat in front of you, was Tara's whole friend group.

The tension in the room sky-rocketed as all eyes landed on you. You felt like you were about to implode. Thankfully their resentful glares only lasted seconds before Tara's sister pulled their attention away from you, talking bout why she had brought everyone together.

Following Dewey, you reluctantly walked further into the room, slowly taking a seat next to him on the couch. With your hearing almost completely overcome by the sound of your own pounding heart, the words of Tara's sister, who you now know is called Sam, went in one ear and out the other.

You only blink back into reality when you hear Wes mention Dewey, "What about Deputy Dewey here? maybe he's the killer... no offence" "None taken, but what's my motive?" "You got stabbed a billion times, got dumped by your famous wife and crawled into a bottle. I think it's safe to say you're on the suspect list."

You don't think you had ever looked at someone so intensely, your eyes burning holes into his skull as he accused the only person you could ever trust. "That's bullshit" you couldn't help but call him out - sure his explanation made sense but it still pissed you off.

"Well what about you then". Your head whipped towards Amber's smug words, shock painting your features at her accusation. Your mouth hung open as she continued with a smirk. "I mean come on!" she laughs, "Your a horror fan right? So you love horror AND your a lonely freak who creepily stares at people for a hobby... Classic ghost face I'm telling you."

Speechless. You are absolutely speechless. Everyone's expected looks burn you as you attempt to find some kind of rebuttal, to say something. Anything. "I-I don't" "Where were you when Tara was attacked?" Amber interrupted.

You sucked in a harsh breath knowing you were home alone at the time, no one to back you up - not that anyone would've. "At home" you mumbled, Amber scoffing at you. "Alone I presume". You bit your tongue to stop yourself from cursing her out, eventually nodding hesitantly as your eyes began to burn with unshed tears.

"That's what I thought"

After the whole 'interrogation' process had left you on the verge of a breakdown, you had grown evermore attached to Dewey, following him around like a lost puppy. So, naturally, when the news of Wes' murder broke, you were right beside him as he approached the fresh crime scene.

It was safe to say that he was concerned about your insistence of sticking with him, that added pressure of keeping you safe weighing on him as he inevitably brought you into something that you should never have had to worry about.

You felt cowardly as you became Dewey's extra limb, following him around as if he was the only thing that could protect you - and the sad truth was that he was. You were his own personal fly on the wall, rather unfortunately overhearing his conversation that he had with Gale.

Your face was blank as you had remained zoned out ever since you had heard the details of Wes and his mother's murders, even the thought made you sick to your stomach. You didn't know much about ghost face and their history, but one thing was for sure.

This one was a fucking psycho.

You were broken from your gruesome thoughts when you heard rushed footsteps approach from behind you. Your eyes were quick to notice Sam's figure approaching, coming to a halt in front of Dewey and the deputy he was talking to, a panicked look covering her face.

"Who's at the hospital?"

Your heart sinks. Everyone’s eyes stare at the deputy, awaiting an answer that never came.

"Who's watching my sister?!"

Images of Tara being attacked whilst helpless and unprotected in her hospital bed flash through your mind, sending a paralysing shiver down your spine.

"I-I just heard about the sheriff" You hear Sam scoff in a mixture of disbelief and fear, turning around and running to her car. You muttered ‘Fuck’ before you quickly followed suit. For once Dewey was on your tail as you make a desperate dash towards Sam’s car, needing nothing more than to get there already.

You swing the car door open as you scramble into the back seat. Sam, still unsure as to who you are, gives you a puzzled glance before Dewey enters the passenger seat next to her. She just stares at him for a second, almost as if she’s in a daze, until Dewey snaps her out of it.

"What are you waiting for? Drive! Come on let's go!"

The drive to the hospital dragged on for what felt like hours. You had pushed Sam's call with ghost face back to a more-or-less distant thought, only tuning in when they mentioned Tara - the only thing you cared about.

The whole drive, you had been anxiously waiting on the edge of your seat, so as you finally parked outside the hospital, you rushed out the car door and ran towards the elevator.

Watching the floor levels tick by, the sound of Tara's whimpers echoing through the call filling your ears, you swallowed down your tears as you inhaled shakily, attempting to compose yourself for what you knew you were about to face.

As you approached Tara's floor, Dewey pulled his gun out of his holster and glanced back at you. "You ok kid?" he asked softly, his brows slightly creased as he noticed your seemingly panicked appearance. "I'm fine... let's just save Tara and get the hell out of here". Despite still being on the phone, Sam offered you a small, warm smile, clearly realising how much you must care for her sister.

"Or maybe I'm stalling for time, fuckhead"

The elevator dings and you watch as the doors begin to open. Through the growing crack you notice ghost face looming over Tara's helpless figure, your jaw immediately clenching at the sight. You flinch slightly as Dewey is quick to fire a shot at the masked figure. His aim clearly having deteriorated since he retired, he missed multiple shots as the figure dashed into a room for cover.

As ghost face disappeared into the room, you were quick to follow Dewey out of the elevator, immediately heading towards Tara. Just the sight of her tormented figure made you want to cry. Falling to the ground next to her, you were quick to cradle her head as you scanned her body for any new injuries.

Despite her bandaged hand having turned a bright shade of red, relief washed through you when you couldn't see any new wounds. If you thought the sound of her whimpers through a phone call was bad, this was utter torture. You attempted to compose yourself - although you would be lying if you said you weren't freaking the fuck out. Sam was quick to help Tara off the floor and towards the elevator as you comforted her the best you could.

"Tara... your ok... your ok come on" you whisper hurriedly, glancing over your shoulder to see Dewey helping Richie off the floor. You return your focus on getting Tara to the elevator, not noticing her glossy eyes looking at you dazed. "Y-Y/n... w-what are y-you d-doing here?" she brokenly asks, your eyes finally meeting hers.

You are unable to respond before you hear a large crash from behind you. The three of you quickly turn around, your face dropping in horror as you witness ghost face jumping towards Dewey. "Dewey no!" you scream as you let go of Tara and run towards him, the protests of the sisters falling on deaf ears.

Dewey's gun fires off a stray bullet as your hands grip onto ghost face's costume, successfully pulling them to the ground. You collapse next to the masked individual, only now realising you were completely unarmed and didn't really have a plan past this point.

'Oh fuck'

Your eyes widened in fear as ghost face jumps on top of you attempting to stab you in the chest as you push against them with all your strength. Dewey attempts to pull them off of you as you struggle to hold the approaching knife from impaling your chest. Not appreciating his attempts at heroics, Ghost face quickly elbowed Dewey in the face, causing him to collapse onto his back and his gun to fly out of his grip.

"No no no no" you whimper as the mask looks back at you, its rich black eyes staring through your soul. You wrestle in their grip as they wind their knife back before thrusting it into your torso. You scream as you feel your abdomen burn, the knife piercing your skin and lodging itself deep within your gut. Your shirt quickly turned a bright shade of red as the blood began to flow from your new wound.

You cry out in pain as the knife is viciously ripped out, your vision beginning to blur with tears as your body erupts in pain. You hear Tara screaming your name as the knife pierces your skin for a second time, your body simultaneously burning and freezing as you feel yourself slowly sinking into the floor.

And they keep stabbing you. Again, and again, and again.

Stab wounds litter your body as you continue to scream, each one becoming quieter as you quickly lose energy, the sound of blood gargling in the back of your throat now accompanying your helpless screams.

You could almost sense their smile from behind the mask. The anger behind each of their strokes increasing as they went to town on you, blood now beginning to slowly seep from the corner of your mouth.

Your energy was seeping from your body as fast as the blood that continued to pour from your eight stab wounds. You curl in on yourself as ghost face is finally tackled off of you, coughing violently as blood splatters into the pool of your own blood that had seeped across the floor.

You were barely conscious when you heard numerous shots ring out through the hallway, instantly waking you from your looming coma. Turning your head as far as you could in your dazed state, you saw Dewey rushing over to you with what appears to be an unconscious ghost face behind him.

"Y/n" he breathes, scanning your weak and bloodied figure. Sucking in a hesitant breath, he carefully picks you up, his hands already covered in your warm blood. You grunt in pain as you feel your wounds stretch and pull. Your head falls onto his shoulder, your entire body aching as he limps towards the elevator, passing a concerned Sam and Tara. Tara watches as your blood leaves a trail behind Dewey, already seeping through both of your clothes.

Even when on deaths door, the sound of Tara's sobs cause you to look in her direction, worry filling your glassy eyes. To your surprise she is already looking at you with a similar expression. You try your best to put a smile on your bloodied face, but at this point any kind of movement sends shocks of pain down your crippled frame.

You clench your eyes shut in pain as you feel Dewey put you down on the cold elevator floor- why was he putting you down?

"The head" he says as he stands back up. Fading in and out of consciousness, you struggle to comprehend what he is saying, looking at him through your drooping eyes. "What?", "You have to shoot'em in the head, or they always come back.". You watch as he slowly steps backwards out of the elevator. Your mouth falls open as it finally starts sinking in.

This wasn't happening. This couldn't be fucking happening.

"Dewey! Who gives a fuck?!"

"I do"

"Dewey! No!" you let out a blood curdling scream, using all of your remaining energy to try and keep the door open, only for it to close in front of you. "No!" you screamed again, you voice shattering as you slam your fist continuously into the door. "No no Dewey come back! Come back please! I need you please!" you begged, knowing all eyes were on you but not caring how broken you looked.

"Please Dewey... please..." you cried, eventually collapsing of pure exhaustion, a metallic taste overtook your senses as your adrenaline finally ran out, the world around you turning black.

As the world falls in around you, you catch a glimpse of Tara's distraught expression watching you from behind Sam who attempts to keep you awake, inevitably failing.

Bright lights sting your tired eyes as you slowly blink away your exhaustion. 'What the fuck' is your first thought, your mind blank as to how you ended up in... a hospital? You try to sit up in an attempt to look around, stopped when you feel a sharp pain shoot through your torso, causing you to grimace.

You exhale shakily as you collapse back onto the bed. Hesitantly, you reach your shaking hand down to pull up your hospital gown, revealing what can only be described as 'a shit ton' of bandages. "What the..."

"No...", it hits you like a truck. "No... no no no, this can't be happening". The steady sound of your heart monitor starts to beep rapidly. You begin to panic as you breath erratically, trying to disconnect all the useless wires that were connected to you in an attempt to escape this all to realistic nightmare.

Apparently hearing your struggle, Sam walks into the room with a worried look on her face. "Hey! y/n calm down... calm down it's ok... it's ok." She rushes over to the bed and takes your hands in hers. You were a stuttering mess, your eyes unable to focus on anything in particular as you tried to wrestle out of the bed, her firm grip stopping you from going anywhere.

Eventually her gentle touch grounded you, her hands stroking yours gently as she looked at you sympathetically - a look you appreciated but knew couldn't be good. "Wheres Dewey?" Was the first thing that came out of your mouth once you had calmed down. You noticed how her posture slump slightly as her eyes fall to the ground - that can't be good.

"He's fine right? tell me he's ok... please" you brokenly begged her, tears rolling down your cheeks as you knuckles turned white from the strength in which you were gripping her hands. When she finally lifted her head back up, her eyes brimming with her own tears, a whole new wave of pain erupted through you.

"No no no no no!" you sobbed, Sam instantly pulling you into a tight embrace whilst remaining careful of your stitches. "He was all I had" you cried into her chest, her own heart breaking at your words.

She allowed you to cry into her chest as she gently stroked your hair. It had been a very long time since you had experienced such affection, not sharing a proper hug since before your parents had decided you were a lost cause. It was a feeling you missed.

Despite never wanting to leave her warm embrace, you eventually pulled back, wiping your nose as you sniffled away the remnants of your tears. You slumped back into your bed, feeling nothing but numbness overcome your body. Sam just sat there with you for a while, offering you whatever comfort she could whilst you let everything sink in.

You had nothing left. Absolutely nothing.

Just as that thought crossed your mind, you heard something approaching from the doorway, causing you to raise your head slowly, expecting a nurse or something to be coming to check on you. Instead, you watched as Richie rolled Tara in on a wheelchair, the injured girl flashing you a small smile.

If you hadn't been paralysed by your overbearing emotions you would've returned the gesture, instead your eyes looked back towards Sam whose lips similarly showed a small smile. "We're getting the fuck out of Woodsboro... wanna come?"

You looked back over towards Tara, her sweet features still offering you a warm smile. Your heart swelled as something inside you told you that it was her idea for you to accompany them. Your eyes welled with tears at the thought, finally offering her a wet smile, chuckling despite your tears as you nod enthusiastically.

"I would fucking love to"

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