#i just love to ramble so much ya know?

[reapkusho]

A lot of people say kainess is incredibly one-sided (on ness' part) but I think Kaiser did want to keep him for a while because that was the only thing he wanted — for "something that lasts" and to "love and be loved". The only thing that'd really last is for someone that truly loves you that would keep coming back even if you push them away and/or abuse their affection.

It was because Ness kept coming back and the fact that he went through the same thing as him — not getting any love and affection as a child (guess he related to him?) — that kaiser decided to keep him. but after he realized that restricting himself and being uncomfortable was the key to being the best then he went and let him go — which means Kaiser can't really "love" because that'd mean being comfortable with something > then he goes searching for something to keep and love again which means he's at peak desperate condition > when he finds it he has to let it go because he'd be comfortable > cycle repeats.

[dootznbootz]

To ME, The Iliad and The Odyssey are about the different reactions to trauma and "hate".

The Iliad is about how a man gets destroyed by hatred. Achilles is "destroyed" metaphorically because his hatred and grief caused him to lose his "humanity". Hector is killed by a man filled with so much hatred (Achilles). Both men are "gone".

The Odyssey, being what happens directly after, is about how a man can come BACK from such hatred. Menelaus and Nestor, while still in pain from the war (the time, friends, and family they lost), are still able to move forward and live normal lives. We watch this happen in real time through Odysseus.

Odysseus' name means to hate and be hated, something he's been probably doing since he left Ithaca to a degree. You could even see the slaughter of the suitors as being the "final fight" he has to go through before the "healing". He gains back his humanity, kingdom, and identity by loving and being loved. (Niko's post about Odysseus and his identity. It delves further into all that well!)

Some people are lost to war and some people CAN come back from it. While the ancients (of every culture as well!) didn't have the semi-universal term PTSD yet, they knew damn well people who have experienced trauma tend to be "different" afterward and had their own stories and even some "remedies"

Other ancient works, such as those by Hippocrates, describe soldiers who experienced frightening battle dreams. (Source, whole article gives more info on ancient PTSD too!)

Celsus, a Roman doctor described a condition named Insania sine fibre.

In Ancient Mesopotamia, “They described hearing and seeing ghosts talking to them, who would be the ghosts of people they’d killed in battle – and that’s exactly the experience of modern-day soldiers who’ve been involved in close hand-to-hand combat.” (Source)

This is my own interpretation, but in a way, I think the Epic Cycle is...showcasing that. The Iliad shows how trauma can "end" a person. And The Odyssey is kind of a way to give some hope to folks in a "Hey, you CAN get better. You CAN have your life back."

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Amy Rose, I love you. You're just like me. They could never make me hate you 🫶🫶

[n0bluev]

@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

every time i think about the locked tomb series i just circle back to “you can’t take loved away” and “life is short, love is long”

[fenharel-babe]

Watching a video for my art class and learned that frescos are meant to not fade over time.

So the fact that Solas paints frescos makes me very emotional when I put my own twist on it and think about it.

He knows he’s going to leave once Corypheus is defeated, he knows he’s going to be destroying the world and betraying all of his friends, he KNOWS these things. In his mind, they’re set in stone, something he cannot abandon, something he will not abandon.

But he won’t forget it. I like to imagine in the world he’s imagining, he still wont let the inquisition and everything be forgotten. He paints the actions the inquisition does and may even write about it somewhere. He creates it to serve as a memory in the future about the past. The sacrifices and choices made.

Then, my mind turns to Solavellan. I can see Lavellan visiting him in the rotunda, asking him to show her what he’s working on and he does so with joy. He’s so happy someone else likes the things he does, and he works harder on them in the future. He wants to impress her, to make her happy, to remind her of everything she has done in their journey. Once Corypheus is defeated, they’re complete. The only thing missing, is the painting of Corypheus’s defeat.

He couldn’t be there to paint it, to make that memory never forgotten.

But…I like to believe he would paint a fresco somewhere in a temple or in his hideout or somewhere he knows people will go in the future. He paints the Corypheus defeat, and in the foreground he shows lavellan almost glowing. She’s in so much detail you can tell he spent so long working on it. She’s the center of the piece, not Corypheus. And near her are her friends from the inquisition. They’re detailed to keep their image in history, but still, she outshines the rest. It’s so clear which one the Dread Wolf favored. It only fuels the rumors of he and the inquisitor having a romantic relationship.

And then maybe, just maybe, he makes a smaller painting for himself. Small enough to fit in a little frame. It’s only them. No enemies, no battles on the horizon, no armor covered in blood, no tears from the sacrifices she had to make, nothing to show fear or hatred, she doesn’t hide her gaze to remove his guilt, it’s just them together. He had no right to call her his heart anymore, he didn’t understand how she still loved him.

But he was grateful for it.

He paints the future he wished he could’ve had. The future he could have if he stayed by her side, stayed by the inquisition and didn’t betray them. But he had, and he believed he couldn’t go back. This future could only exist in the painting he kept for himself, the one nobody else would find. And it would keep a small bit of peace in him regardless of the outcome of the future.

[good-beans]

.

[auquaticmoonlight]

I’ve become afraid of death. which is actually improvement for someone who was suicidal but also. scary :(

this is all your faults /pos /pos /pos-

[nomairuins]

like i wouldnt mind like. Not having new linear games post 5 its judt that sims 4 wasnt even supposed to Be The Sims 4 it was a last minute pivot and the base code is so outdated and was broken On launch so like. i just wish we could have the final actual sims game be like. one that was always intented to be a major sims release AND be intended to be so long term . yk

[muthafuckinaro]

lowkey cried while reading that lord

[flowers-inverted]

*clears throat* I like sports anime cuz it's extremely predictable and isn't as triggering for my anxiety!

Thanks for listening, that was hard to admit.

[verdantdaises]

Important question, do you write them as dogs or as people?

Good question!!! I deliberately leave it ambiguous bc I don’t really care what people picture in their heads like idc truly ahaha

Either way they have some fur and are dog men or are humans and have skin it doesn’t matter to me, I do mention skin a bit but people can interpret it however they want :))

[chidoroki]

Happy Mother’s Day to Isabella

(with one Isabella from almost every chapter she appears in)

[desthebolt]

Me, sitting here watching my entire dashboard get bombarded with splatfest grief: … Everyone okay? Yall want some fruit gushers and some water or some shit? Yall need a break?? Like what is happening rn

[arklay]

DANI HAINES x CLAIRE REDFIELD / template.

[formalmess]

i'm curious now. what is the darkest fic you have written

hmm.... well, only issue there is that i've compiled a list of 22+ fics i've written that could compete for the title, so i can't tell you one for certain. and of course, that answer might change depending on what element of darkness/horror scares you the most.

(INCOMING: long musings and thoughts abt darkness and horror in fics below, plus references and direct dialogue from GRAPHIC, unhappy, angsty stories. if reading about mario characters in distress makes you sad, please don't read. please, oh please, proceed with caution if you keep reading...)

i think something about horror that is so interesting is how differently some people approach it.

does gore squick you out the most? how about manipulation? psychological torment? jumpscares? horrifying implications? betrayal? alien lifeforms? body horror? there are so many facets to horror, and something one person might find fascinating, another might find appalling, and vice versa.

it's also what i think makes horror so compelling to explore in a fictional setting: emphasizing our inherent human fears into something fantastical and horrific, something to make us squirm in our seats.

for example, in everyday life, we might feel betrayed if a friend talks behind our back, but what happens if we amplify those feelings tenfold? as such, i've written a sum of stories that primarily center around manipulation, psychological torment, and the aftermath of betrayal. for me, i've always found those stories the scariest, whether in my writing or in popular media.

"How could you let this happen?" Luigi's words came first upon the realization, screaming as though someone else were in control of his voice. Hot tears streamed down his face, the anguished man wailing and sobbing, feeling nothing but the overwhelming need to hurt someone: to somehow find a way to make someone pay and avenge the mistake that had been made. "ANSWER ME!" --2020

You tried to block it all out. It would be over soon, it would be over soon, so please, please stop screaming, please, please, please, you didn’t want to do this-! --2020

there's also horrifying implications. i love to mess around with universes and worlds where things are uncanny, or plain wrong. perhaps a rift in the universe has left everything out of sorts?

or, more specifically, someone has been trying to create clones of you after murdering you in an act of desperate passion, but they keep falling and all of the clones resent their misguided creator... hahaaa..

He wanted to make another right then and there, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He wanted to tear his hands off and banish his dreaded ability of creation. He wished he couldn’t do this anymore. He sat there, alone, drowning in guilt as he sobbed loudly. Any bastardized copy wouldn’t suffice, no matter what he tried.

He jumped a bit, nearly slipping on the mystery residue at his feet. As soon as his vision got adjusted with the darkness, he fought the urge to scream in terror. If it weren’t for the fact that the other person across from him were upside down, and that their jaw was lopsided from their face, he would have sworn he was looking into a mirror. He was gazing right into a pair of dead, soulless eyes. And they were his own. --2020 [same fic as above]

manipulation? torment? why not.

"Now… you don't want your dearest brother to get hurt, now do you? You wouldn't do anything at all to jeopardize his safety." A smile. "Isn't that right, Mario?" --2021

and, based on people's impressions to FYE, at least, angst always lends itself well to horror, doesn't it? regret? grief? people being scared and sad together? it's a most deadly combination.

He damned the jester as he sat alone in the claustrophobic space with only Peasley’s rotting corpse as his company, wishing for death as the stench of spoiling fibrous flesh filled his nose. He sniffled, beginning to sob, fidgeting ever so slightly as he thought about how if he had only been stronger, only been quicker, this could have been different. They could have escaped the clutch of the void's songbird call. And he could have saved his beloved husband's life. --2021

and of course... gore. gore is pretty self-explanatory.

With a final sickening crunch and tear, the prince's neck was sliced clean off his shoulders, rolling away from the rest of his body with an unceremonious thud. --2018

With his caught in between the descending platform and the ground, there was no stopping what came next. With a sickening crunch, it pressed down, hard. It pulverized his arm beyond dust: gore and blood pooling from the spot as he screamed in anguish. Shock made him go numb. His vision was hazy. --2020

'starland', which is on my ao3, was actually going to be far more gorey than fye. but, alas, i lost the muse for that one. maybe someday, it will be continued...

and there's been many other generally dark stories as well. to provide just an inkling of context, i've written many before and after fye about dimentio being a general awful person to luigi and others, killing and torture abound. i've written a lot about super dimentio too! they're a really fun fusion to analyze. side fun fact: if you've read 'love like you' on my ao3, i have written a 'bad end' version of that... for full angst potential, you know.

i've also written plenty other "horror movie" versions of the mario franchise too. if you see fye as the "saw" of the mario universe, then i have others for various different franchises. i also have one piranha plant gijinka i made in 2018 who is an actual menace to society. whatever page he graces, he creates a mind-bending squickfest full of viscera. i know i have made various people sick with the fics i feature him in.

but to answer your question, my personal pick for my darkest fic is one i have is called 'tender', written in late 2021 — which was a working title as some point, but now it has stuck. while not very gorey, it is very heavy on the psychological torture and torment that scares me (personally) the most. in addition, it is one i will always only keep between me and my innermost circle of trusted comrades. the reason why? well, i actually haven't really written a darkfic since then, because i thought after finishing, "i've done it. i've written the darkest fic known to man" and thought there was no way i could possibly outdo myself. and since then, i have not been able to! makes my tummy twist just thinking about it. true horror there, that one.

context for these dialogue pieces? context for the fics i've alluded to? no....... you will simply have to draw your own conclusions... mwahahahah!!!!!!

or come and chat with me, haha! i'm always happy to talk about horror, but i like to do it outside of posting publicly since i know this is certainly not everyone's cup of tea.

well, i think that's a sufficient answer. here's to even more dark fics in the future!