#i just needed to dump it somewhere

[frosnpls]

h

[ominousblob]

//I love you so much it hurts me, maybe that's my problem.

[magicicephoenix]

i need to go pound joey drew into a pulp RIGHT NOW

[eggwishing]

our couch was moldy anyways

[pharawee]

I'm thinking of reviving my super random (and spoilery so be warned!) review posts for I Feel You Linger in the Air because I have so much love for this show and I need a place to gather my super random thoughts.

I read the novel back in spring not really expecting much beyond a pleasant read but it's quickly become not only my favourite BL novel but one of my favourite novels in general. Does it need an editor? Yes (but I'm an editor so I'm biased - but tbh I'd rather have these "imperfect" translations out there than not having them at all, and IFYLITA's translator did a really good job). But beyond that it's insightful and sweet with a hint of sadness and loss. It manages to capture the moment perfectly, painting such a clear and nostalgic (but not sugar-coated) picture of the time period(s).

I feel like this is exactly what the series is trying to capture as well. It's in the colour-grading and the lighting and the cinematography and the way both Jom as the main character and Chiang Mai as the backdrop (and I'd say almost a character in its own rigght) are introduced. It's in the mystique and the dread of Jom catching these glimpses of himself and what's to come. It's in the abrupt unravelling of Jom's ordinary life and the pain and loss (and later confusion and anger) he feels at not understanding how and why these things are happening to him - which imo becomes such an important theme later on as Jom gains understanding and acceptance. Because to me IFYLITA isn't just a beautiful love story. It's just as much about Jom (and Yai - but in the novel he's never a POV character until the special chapters, and he's never quite as aware of his past as Jom is, having lived every aspect of it) growing as a person. Not in a way that changes who he is - Jom is a very set and self-aware character who knows what he wants and I really like that about him - but rather in how he perceives those around him and his own feelings.

The novel also has a handful of spectacular and vivid bed scenes so I'm really curious how (and if) they'll approach them.

But on to episode 1.

I love this opening. It's so atmospheric and eerie. We feel just as out of place here as Jom does. And I love how he's the intruder here. This isn't his home, he's watching a very private scene unfold and it's instantly made clear that he's not (yet) wanted. The other Jom is more scared of him than he is in this moment. I also love how he's half in the light, half bathed in shadow, like he's already wandering between worlds. Ah, I love me a good foreshadowing.

And I love how we're then slowly introduced to Jom, to his work, his life, his mannerisms. He lights a scented candle, his flat is full of sketches, drawings and books on architecture. Apart from his work, he lives his life patiently and quietly waiting for Ohm, his boyfriend (who he met at university and who he believes is the love of his life). In his two years in London Ohm has never given him any reason to doubt his commitment, which is why his infidelity is such a heavy blow later on.

We are then introduced to another "character": Chiang Mai - as it is today with its busy streets and markets and landmarks. Old trees lining the waterways and what remains of the walled city itself. In the novel, Jom uses his knowledge about Chiang Mai to pinpoint where he is in the past and how things have changed. As an architect interested in art and culture he also makes a lot of observations about historical buildings and society - which is what makes the novel so special to me. You'd probably need a huge budget to visualise this on a similar scale in the series but they tried (and succeeded imo) with the market scene, and Khun Yai's house will soon become the visual focal point of the series anyway.

A house, which Jom specifically has been asked to restore by the owner even though he's only a few years out of uni.

And as with Jom's dreams, Jom already has a connection to the house. He's been seen by the workers when he wasn't there. He instinctively knows which key to use for the chest the workers found in one of the rooms. The chest contains several sketches that to Jom seem remarkable because they don't really fit the time period.

Hm, I wonder who drew those. 🙃

Of course, soon enough everything goes to shit.

And it hits even harder because Ohm's so much more callous and cruel than in the novel. In the novel, Jom almost becomes a bit of an afterthought, a side character, an inconsequential affair (and I suppose he's the affair here too) on Ohm's path to happiness. But here his actions toward Jom seem quite deliberate and careless. And his fiancée Kaimook is painted as just plain evil. It's like Ohm and her don't even love each other (when in the novel they do - with all the tragedy that entails).

I guess they really wanted to drive home how quickly Jom's life falls apart. And, damn, his speech about waiting for two years and somehow NOT becoming unfaithful was incredibly strong. Then again, he was the one waiting, holding his breath, essentially stopping his life to stay in Chiang Mai until Ohm returned. He's blameless, of course, but that's not exactly healthy either.

The attempted SA isn't in the novel at all. I get why they included it. It's very difficult to watch but it drives its point home. Content warnings would be appreciated though.

Then there's this. Commander Yai. I screamed. Here I was wondering if he'd make an appearance at all (and hoping they'd maybe end the series with a glimpse of him) but they just put him front and center.

The moustache is a necessity, I'm telling you. It wouldn't be Commander Yai without the moustache. Also, this is a fake moustache in an underwater kissing scene. All things considered this is amazing make-up. Embrace the moustache. Commander Yai is worth it, I promise!

Unfortunately, Commander Yai's early appearance might also mean that there won't be a second part of the series planned. They might just allude to Yai's past life without going into much detail - which I totally get. Another season about the Lanna period would probably be a logistical and budgeting nightmare. But still. Gimme!! 😭

Anyway, I love how Jom is immediately just so at ease with him. Granted, he's drunk, grieving and drowning but kissing a handsome, moustached dude during his near-death/time travel experience feels like the most normal thing ever. And I love how it's Commander Yai who saves him. The shot of him uplifting Jom was so beautifully filmed.

Good thing he's found by Ming my beloved and not a dozen angry bare-chested Northerners who promptly punch his lights out lol

And this is one of the moments where I wish I was (more, much much more) fluent in Thai so I understood more of the differences between Jom's Central Thai and everyone else's (old-fashioned) Northern Thai. I do understand there's a difference, and I do understand that they're using different vocabulary and some different grammar but that's about it.

Where is Jom's phone, though? He still had it in the novel and it's an important plot point later on.

I love Jom's brush with the old market. You browse, you buy.

Also Jom sitting down in a secluded spot and just devouring the food that was given to him. I don't know why but the scene really resonated with me. Maybe because it was as out of place as Jom must feel. Or maybe because it was so human - such a mundane thing to do after everything that's happened. Almost like the past is already much more soothing than the present that Jom has left behind.

I'm faceblind but that's supposed to be Ohm (in a past life), right?

Not Jom having an existential crisis over Ming namedropping his future father-in-law (and Ming pitying him in the background. He might be a bit strange, Ming, but don't even pretend you haven't already adopted him into your family).

Finally we meet the mystery man from Jom's dreams (sans moustache this time), and he looks just as suprised to see a familiar face as Jom is (albeit for very different reasons).

I love that they included the jasmine with the lantom flowers. Khun Yai only drinks jasmine-scented water so they're as much Jom and his flowers as the lantoms (and their meaning isn't as bittersweet either).

And then there's the underwater scene(s) which are just so imcredibly well done. So intimate and soft, and probably the only time Yai really looks as young as he's supposed to be.

So yeah, this series is so far exceeding all my expectations and I'm so glad we'll be getting twelve 1h+ episodes (and a special? And a second season? Please? 🥺) of this beautiful, beautiful show.

[amaranthdahlia]

still thinking ab how i made a whole shipping wiki page for kudoichi/ichinii on the fandomwiki site cus 1. the hyperfixation rlly took over 2. there wasnt one for them yet

[queen0fm0nsterz]

It's been a year and I still cannot get over Shouki no Kami's battle BGM. It's just... so good in every conceivable way??? But dude what gets to me the most is the singing. THE SINGING.

Initially the instrumental is a lot more contained, you could say - quiet but with a method to it, if it makes sense. You can hear the emotions brooding under the surface until eventually they come to light along with the chorus. The voices are so deep that they feel... mastodontic, which then creates a contrast with the lead voice - a tenor. In the first half, it's muffled, hidden away behind the helmet of Shouki no Kami, and the music growing in a crescendo as it progresses. The fact that it's muffled helps making it sound deeper than it actually is, but as the song progresses the lead becomes more and more clear: with that, the surface of all the feelings such as fury and desperation is scratched.

The build up of Rhapsodia Roscida is ESSENTIAL to the payoff in Polumnia Omnia, because that's when all the emotions explode.

Now free of the helment and of any pretenses, the lead can sing his heart out. It still starts off as relatively controlled and you can hear him try to keep some composure in some parts, but the mask is off and all the ugly truths laying within are on display for everyone to hear. It's so good that every time it gets to those parts (you know the ones) I clutch my chest as well because I want to sing out loud.

Yu Peng Chen's performance was phenomenal. Between all the voices Scaramouche is given in all the dubs, his is undoubtedly my favorite. He is how the character sounds like in universe as far as I'm concerned.

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

..

[frecklystars]

i think im a lesbian and thats been making me cry in the middle of the night every night for the last umm i dont know. week. couple of weeks maybe. i dont want to be a lesbian bc ive been bi for so long and i dont want another sexuality crisis. but at the same time the idea of being with a man makes me feel so fucking repulsed and i dont know if thats bc ive just had multiple experiences of a male friend making inappropriate comments toward me when i used to trust him OR if its bc i am genuinely realizing i have never. never. never. never. never had strong feelings for a man the way i do with a woman. like i saw a cute customer today who was a guy but i wouldnt date him. i thought he was cute but i wouldnt do anything about it, like if he asked me out i'd feel uncomfortable. but then i saw a blonde woman walk in and i thought to myself, god she's gorgeous and if she asked me out right now i'd say yes when and where!!

i only feel "i'd kiss him i'd date him i'd hold his hand" with fictional male characters and male celebrities. not real/obtainable people. would i still feel that way if they were physically in front of me? i think i would, i think if ken were in front of me calling me sweet girl i'd never feel repulsed. i think if a guy who looked and acted exactly like ryan gosling was in front of me asking me out i'd consider it maybe? but i know i feel genuine love for my F/Os. my feelings for them are 100% real and pure. i hear that could possibly be an aromantic thing, to be genuinely attracted to your F/Os but not real people. but i feel genuinely attracted to real women!! sometimes!! half the time!!! not ALL the time and i don't know if i'd be willing to be in a relationship bc i'm so detached to the idea of a relationship but like... the attraction is absolutely there to some degree and it seems to be that way strongly for women

and then i thought, ok well, bisexual means being attracted to two or more genders, right? and i'm attracted to (probably) anyone who isn't a man, though my strongest feelings are for women. but then someone else told me that the lesbian label would still include people who aren't strictly women, so?? like?? i'm just confused i was hoping lesbian meant "just women" so then i can tell myself "oh i cant be a lesbian then because i've felt attraction to nonbinary/genderfluid ppl as well who don't identify as women at all" but if the lesbian label includes that, then uh, maybe i'm? a lesbian?

but god i have felt so uncomfortable around a man who's been making me feel unsafe lately, and it's just making me wake up and realize i've never been genuinely wholeheartedly attracted to men, period. not once. i've had small fleeting little crushes but if that crush asked me out i'd say No Get The Fuck Away From Me. there was actually an instance where i had a small "crush"(?) on a male coworker when i was 18 years old for a few weeks, but then he asked me out, and i felt so disgusted and uncomfortable that i went to my car and cried. and then i had a crush on a nonbinary person years later and that felt. so. fucking good. that felt so whole and so real to me. and then i had a crush on a woman years after that and i would lie awake at night with the most pure beautiful feeling in my chest. and when they asked me out i didn't feel grossed out at all, i felt wonderful, i felt amazing, i was shaking because i was so happy

but i have never ever ever once felt that way with a man. and it makes me sad bc i spent so long calling myself bisexual but i dont think that fits me anymore and i dont think some of my family members would really love me anymore if i came out as a lesbian and i just. dont want to think about it too hard but its all i can think about. i dont want to label myself right now but i dont feel good if i dont have a label. like, i can stick with bisexual just for the sake of a label making me feel comfortable but i dont feel bisexual if that HAS to include men. does bisexual HAVE to include men, if youre a cis woman identifying as bi??? can me being bisexual be attraction ANYONE EXCEPT a man??? with just a very very very very strong preference for women????

i just wish my F/Os were real, i would just be with them and forget labels entirely and just get tf outta here. i know if my male fictional others were to come to life, it wouldnt repulse me. i've asked other lesbians "if YOUR male F/O was real and in front of you with a bouquet of flowers asking you out, would you date him" they have all said "no not at all, bc he isn't a woman. i am only attracted to him fictionally but if he were real i'd feel nothing". so like. i dunno. because if ken or plankton were real i'd feel everything.

im so sick of being here im so sick of men making inappropriate comments about my body when theyre supposed to be ppl that i trust and im so sick of wanting a girlfriend but not wanting a relationship, yearning for women but not wanting anything to do with actually dating somebody. exhausting. all of this is exhausting. am i aro am i a lesbian can i be bisexual i dont feel bisexual anymore i'm dragging that label's dead weight on my shoulders and i want to replace it i WANT a label but i dont know what my label is and im tired. i dont think my family members would accept me being a lesbian and that hurts. i tried telling my dad yesterday and he was like "no you don't know what you are, you don't have enough experience to know if you like men or not. i think you'll marry a man one day" no the idea of marriage repulses me too actually. im indifferent to sex, i dont want to get married, i dont want a relationship. but god i want a woman in my life who i can kiss and come home to and hold and ask her about her day and slow dance with in the living room. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. can barbie be real i just want to date barbie. she's human isn't she. c'mon barbie where are you girl you gotta come and rollerblade to my place so we can forget everything and be aromantic lesbians together

[druciits]

no but like i'm weak in the knees for the total crack and chaos that Tom and Harry, who have lived who knows how many lives and are finally born as themselves again, unleash on the whole wizarding population

just mad chackling, kicking my feet, wheezing and snorting and whatnot through the whole night while reading that shit

somehow haven't actually seen that many of those. just remember reading one on ao3(prob) and miraculously found a gem on wattpad(sometimes i just get the urge to read fics on there yknow?(ao3 is a godess, ff.net is.. well it is and there are many fics that are also on ao3 and sometimes you have to escape the heaven for some rebelling but hhhh. BUT wattpad is my origin.. as it is for many of us and.. hm.. well ^^'))

SO if anyone has seen any more of those or just has some delicious crack where tomarry mess with everyone? i'm in the mood for that rn

[butchdiaz]

ok not saying im gonna do this but i think it would be kinda funny if i did an editor's commentary (like a directors commentary, basically my thought process while editing) on one of my videos so

links !! ceilings, we'll never have sex, the archer, i'm afraid ily

[perchingominouslysmwh]

Send in the artillery pls I need to pull myself together TODAY OR SO HELP ME--

[tempests-bards-and-birds]

for the past few days i've been feeling kind of empty and hopeless for the future and i've been finding it hard to find joy in things that i usually enjoy lol so umm. can people reblog or comment with even just little things that have happened recently that have made them happy?

[ouchhq]

am i so hard to care about?

[demeterdefence]

something that really irks me abt this chapter (besides everything lmao) is how hades is suddenly expressing his feelings with poseidon and having this random heart to heart when canonically hades shows nothing but disdain and annoyance towards his family

for all that he goes on and on about how lonely he is and how much he resents being "stuck" in the underworld, hades shows nothing but contempt towards his family at every possible moment. the only semi-positive interactions hades has with poseidon specifically are 1) when he tells persephone that the two brothers could commiserate on being consumed by kronos / how overwhelming it was to be released into a bright world, 2) when he ties poseidon's tie right before persephone's trial (and that has a big asterisk next to it because the whole time he's snipping at apollo and zeus) and 3) after zeus sends out the press release against demeter and persephone, and hades and poseidon are both aggrieved at zeus acting alone (and again, big asterisk next to that because the majority of hades' interactions are annoyance / rage at persephone being "maligned")

like over and over, hades goes out of his way to AVOID his family, so for him to suddenly be sitting in his car sharing his feelings with poseidon? he barely has a RELATIONSHIP with poseidon. his brother's have gone out of their way to show hades love over and over, and hades has never reciprocated. it feels like a cheap way to reinforce some kind of "family bonding" theme, since we see demeter and persephone having their heart to heart; canonically speaking, the only people hades has ever "confided" in are hera, persephone, and hecate - and arguably speaking, two of those are people hades' trauma dumps on. like what is the point.

[vendigool]

A non-rdr related rant about art

Its THAT time of the year again where im like "woah my art, is actually horribly shit and im not improving at all". And its mostly because I look up to really experienced, old artists and then its really easy to just compare my art to theirs. And im a minor and those artists are literally 10 years older than me but I still think I should draw more like them. Skill wise. I know art takes time but ive been drawing for about 2 years now and I just suck immensely. And then someone compliments my art, and im so so grateful but I just think theyre lying. Its fucky.

And them im like. What? Isnt art supposed to be fun? Especially since im never gonna do it professionaly? But im not having fun, there are times where i think my art is mediocre but most the time I dread to look at my tumblr page because I just hate to see what I drew myself. And its starting to get to me that I may never be better than this