#i just want the sweet cute swede to know that he is Enough in all aspects aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[goore-ghoul]

..

[storiesbymads]

GIVE IT UP ( tyson jost . )

You find yourself at your ex’s house party despite the fact that you’ve pretty much convinced him and yourself that you hate him. Apparently, he’s not that fond of you either. At least, that’s what he wants you to think.

warnings: smut, hate sex, unprotected sex

wc: 2.6k

add yourself to my taglist + masterlist

It was shocking of how quickly the sweet boy who once would’ve done anything to see you smile turned into the man before you that managed to get a rise out of you without even directly speaking to you.

Granted, most of that was your fault. All he’d wanted was a break, a few weeks, maybe a month apart to think things over. You’d been the one to suggest a full breakup.

“Tys-“ you stopped yourself. “Tyson.”

His pacing stalled, the hand that had been furiously running through his curls fell to rest on his hip as he turned to face where you were sitting on the couch. The couch you’d helped him pick out when he’d first moved into this apartment. The one he’d first kissed you on three years ago, though it was a bit more beat up now than it had been then. It was a faded blue in color now.

“What,” he halfway snapped. The tone of his voice caused you to flinch at his words, which almost sent Tyson into a deeper downward spiral had he not been so desperate to get through this evening without you killing each other.

“You know this isn’t working,” you said. “Not like it used to.”

“Then why are you fighting with me about taking a few weeks to figure things out,” he sighed before moving to sit on the matching ottoman in front of you.

“Please don’t make me say it out loud,” you said. Your jaw was trembling as you didn’t know how much longer you could keep looking him in the eye without breaking down.

Tyson’s hands were quick to start rubbing his eyes, almost painfully so as the heels of them dug in.

“You don’t mean it,” he whispered.

“Tyson.”

“I still love you,” he sighed.

“We had a great run, yeah?” you smiled sadly at him as you picked yourself up off the couch. “I’ll be back to get my things in the next week or so.”

And that probably would’ve been the end of it had Andre not been your best friend. He was, and he claimed, the best guy in your life before Tyson and he was going to stay that way after Tyson.

Sure, parties were awkward but it was nothing you couldn’t get through without a couple girl friends and some distance. And a handle of pink whitney.

“You’re kidding!” you gasped as your old college roommate gushed about her new boyfriend and their bedroom antics. “There’s no way you let him do that!”

“Long time no see, sunshine,” a familiar brown haired swede said as he pulled you into his side by the hip. You could tell the drink in his hand was far from his first based on the slur of his words and the way the snapback was situated sideways on his head.

“Hey, Dre,” you said before pecking his cheek quickly and sipping on the drink in your own hand. Contrary to your usual party behavior, you were only about half of the way through your first.

“Yeah, sunshine,” you heard Tyson say from behind you. The smile on your face wiped away into a scowl within seconds. “Long time no see.”

You opted to ignore him, continuing your conversation with your roommate, Savannah, as Andre left your side to join the beer pong game in the corner.

“Aw, c’mon. It’s not my fault you’re desperate enough to come to your ex’s house party,” he mocked as he shuffled his way closer to you.

“Aw, it’s not my fault your other eye’s just begging for a matching shiner,” you cooed. You could feel his breath against your pulse point as he leaned in closer.

“Think you have it in you?” he asked, voice grovely as it dropped an octave. Scoffing, you pushed away from him in search of anyone else to talk to. You couldn’t stand the fact that he was still able to jump start your heart rate after all these years, especially after all the things he’s said to you after you’d broken up.

You shouldn’t even be going to this part. You wouldn’t be had Andre not literally dragged you into his car with a promise that you wouldn’t even see Tyson, let alone have to speak to him.

“You haven’t been out in months, sunshine,” he said as he pulled out of your apartment complex. “We miss you.”

“You missed me,” you sighed, pulling your head up from where it was resting against the cool glass of the window.

“The team misses you,” he said, temporarily taking his hand off the wheel to pinch your hip. The team minus Tyson, you thought.

The party itself was fine for a while. You’d practically attached yourself to Andre’s side, not that he was complaining. He was just glad to have you in a social situation again. You were actually having fun for the first time in a while playing flip cup with some of the guys. Tyson had practically slipped your mind, another first.

Until he decided to, rather harshly, drag you away from the table.

“What are you doing here?” he rushed out as he clicked the lock on the bathroom door.

“Dre- Andre invited me,” you stuttered. The party was still going strong outside the room and you could feel the bass through the floor.

“God, I haven’t seen you in months and you’re here because my teammate invited you?” he scoffed. The shock in his eyes had since shifted to something more of disgust.

“We broke up, Tyson,” you said.

“Exactly! We broke up!” he said, throwing his hand up in the air. Your eyes stayed glued to the lock behind him.

“I didn’t come here to see you,” you said, though it came out more like a whimper. You swore you saw something crack in Tyson’s eyes before his resolve went back up.

“That’s rich, even coming from you.”

“God, you’re such a dick, Jost,” you pushed past him, wiping a tear away before it had the chance to fall as you unlocked the bathroom door.

You hated him. You hated him.

Thankfully the kitchen was empty when you found yourself there. You weren’t looking for anything, your cup was still mostly full.

How was Tyson always able to find you in a crowd? Even when you were actively avoiding him like the plague, he somehow managed to sneak up behind you and send your head into a downward spiral.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing thinking so much at a party,” an unfamiliar voice said from beside you, pulling you from your daze.

“I’m not-“ you cut yourself off. “It’s just…”

“Whoa, don’t burst a blood vessel,” he smiled at you. His comment was awkward at best, but the soft look in his eyes made up for it. He was cute.

“Sorry,” you chuckled. “I’m Y/N.”

“Jason,” he responded, clinking your red cups together in a fake toast.

Jason, you learned, was a bartender at the Star Bar in downtown Denver. Though, that was a temporary job as he worked on his masters in biochemistry. You ended up telling him a story about the time you found yourself being escorted out of said Star Bar from dancing on the bar.

“If you’ll excuse me, I really have to go to the ladie’s room,” you said, starting to walk past him in the now crowded kitchen before turning back to face the blond. “Would you mind holding my drink?”

“Sure,” Jason said, even going as far as putting his own drink down so that he could cover the top of yours fully with his hand. Maybe this party hadn’t gone completely to shit.

The line to the bathroom was nonexistent and you’d managed to finish your business in record time. You checked your appearance in the mirror before clicking the lock on the bathroom door and opening it to see the one person you really wished you hadn’t.

He pushed his way through, slamming the door and locking it behind him.

“What are you doing, Jost? Let me out,” you said.

“You really think you can come here and flirt with some random guy in my kitchen?” he scoffed. With every word he took another half step closer to you until your back was pressed against the far wall.

“What do you mean your kitchen?”

“Did Dre not tell you? Can’t believe this is the fourth time you’ve been here and you didn’t even know who’s apartment it was. I think that’s a little rude, if you ask me,” he cooed. Four times; he was counting. He’d made a mental note every time you’d been sitting on his couch and he’d been too fucked up about it to do anything.

His knee pushed your thighs apart as his hands found solace on the wall beside your head. You felt the sudden urge to spit in his face. Or to let him spit in yours.

This was much more possessive than he’d ever acted when you were together. Granted, he hasn’t acted the same way he’d been when you were together in the year and a half you’d been apart.

“Answer me,” he hummed. “It’s rude isn’t it.”

You tilted your head to the side in response only for Tyson’s thigh to press up further so that it was resting against your core. You took the sudden close proximity between the two of you to gauge the changes in his features. Most obviously was the beard he was sporting now, he’d never been able to accomplish more than a patch here or there while you were dating despite his best efforts. His shoulders were more filled out now, too, and his curls looked longer. He looked more… mature, if that was the word for it.

“Answer me,” he tutted. “Or am I gonna have to fuck it out of you?”

“You’re a lot bolder than I remember, Jost,” you gasped. There was a definite wet spot growing in your underwear at the rasp in his tone.

“You’re just as annoying,” he said before one of his hands found your hip. His mouth came crashing against yours an instant later, a rough mess of teeth clanging together as he popped the button on your jean shorts. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure I’ll fuck that out of you, too.”

The comment caused a gasp to slip past your lips as he removed his knee so that he could tug your bottoms to your ankles in one fell swoop. His fingers were quick in replacing the delicious pressure against your clit, circling the nub with the pad of his finger.

“Do you still make those pretty little noises you used to make?” he asked, only to pull a whimper out of you not even a second later when he slipped a finger into your hole.

“You’re still a dick,” you moaned as you dropped your head to rest against his shoulder. You bit down on the cotton of his t-shirt to conceal the whimper of emptiness as Tyson slipped his finger out of you so that he could push the band of his sweatpants down just enough for his cock to slip out.

“Yeah? And you’re about to cum all over it.”

The string of profanities that followed from your part were involuntary.

He pushed into you slowly until he was halfway in before snapping his hips forward in one quick motion so that your pelvic bones were pressed together. You hadn’t felt this full since… Well, since him.

“Fucking-“ he hissed. “I forgot how tight you were.”

His eyebrows furrowed as he started thrusting his hips. You would’ve been able to admire it longer had your eyes not rolled into the back of your head. Your hand slipped down between your bodies to rub your clit only to be swatted away and replaced by Tyson’s a moment later.

His name rolled off your tongue like a chant as you felt your orgasm building with each pump of his hips.

“I’m gonna cum, holy shit,” you said.

“That’s right, baby. Cum all over my cock,” he said. The rhythm of his thrusts was getting sloppier by the second and you could tell he was getting close. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Where do you want it?”

“What?” you asked, head still very hazy from the impending orgasm.

“I can’t cum inside you—shit,” his thrusts slowed. “Where do you want it?”

“I’m on the pill,” you rushed out in hopes that he’d start fucking you again. The thought alone almost had him falling apart.

“Holy shit, ok,” he mumbled before picking up his thrusts once again. It was a step the two of you hadn’t taken before, and he was dying to see his cum drip out of you.

“Fuck, Tys,” the words came out rushed as your high washed over you. Tyson came soon after as ropes of it coated your walls in hot spurts.

Your senses came back to you as you came back down. What the fuck were you doing? Why did you allow yourself to hook up with the ex you were still pretty sure you hated in a bathroom.

“I-I’ve gotta go,” you said, pushing Tyson off, and subsequently out, of you so that you could pull up your shorts and button them.

“Wait, Y/N,” the flustered, blushing Tyson you thought you’d never see again made an appearance as you threw the bathroom door open just as he tucked himself back into his boxers. The fly of his blue jeans was undone as he chased you out of the bathroom, practically begging you to stop as he followed you out the front door.

“Leave me alone, Jost,” you scoffed as you watched him zip his pants out of the corner of your eye.

“There’s no way you’re gonna go back to hating me after that,” he said. You could feel his cum dripping into your panties as he spoke.

“We made our decision last year. We should’ve left it at that,” you shivered in the open exterior of his apartment complex, silently cursing yourself for thinking a jacket would ruin your outfit.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” a dry chuckle slipped from his lips. “After all of that? After a year and a half of pretending, you can’t admit it?”

“I wasn’t pretending-“

“Like hell you weren’t. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret even mentioning the idea of a break between us. What we had doesn‘t just go away,” he took a step towards you. You could still hear the music from inside his place, though it was fainter now and still half-muffled by the various conversations just past the front door.

“We weren’t working out,” you said, though it came out as more of a squeak.

“You and I both know we could’ve worked on it. We were stupid to let what we had go over nothing,” he said. “I miss you.”

Your resolve was breaking more with every word.

“Jost, what if this doesn’t work?” you asked, allowing him to get close enough to take your hand in his. It was quite the contrast to the way he’d been with you not even ten minutes ago.

“Would you stop calling me that?” his features were screwed tight as he asked. “You only call me that when you’re mad at me.”

“Tyson,” you said, only to be greeted with a knowing look in his brown eyes. “Tys.”

“We’re gonna work out,” he said. “We’re gonna work out because…”

“Because?”

“Because I still love you. And I’m not letting you go again,” his voice had lowered to a whisper and it shook and his forehead was dangerously close to resting against yours. Within the span of an hour, he’d transformed back into the shy boy you’d given your heart to three years ago on his blue couch.

“Ok,” you whispered back, closing the distance and resting your foreheads against each other only for Tyson to bridge the gap completely with a tilted head to plant his lips against your own.

tagged @ptersparkers @annedub @corebore123 @damndunner @kiedhara @watermelon05 @sidscrosbyy @thelionkingpw @besthockeyfics @iwantahockeyhimbo @beauvibaby

[ladycatofwinterfell]

Raindrops, snowflakes, sunshine, part 3

Summary: Catelyn meets a northern boy in her algebra class during one of London’s many rainy days. Initially she doesn’t expect much, but this boy brings her a surprising amount of sunlight.

@leialannister and I discussed Scandinavian Starks and I realized I really wanted to write a fic so that’s what I did. Swedes depicted in media makes this Swede happy, and NedCat also makes me happy so why not combine it and publish him for everyone to see?

Ashara poked her head into the bathroom and squinted against the bright light. Catelyn got eye contact with her through the mirror and raised her eyebrows. Ashara had looked better. She was a beautiful woman, but at the moment she looked like seven hard years.

“Where are you going?”

“Did I say I’m going somewhere?” Catelyn asked.

She was going somewhere, but she hadn’t said a thing about it to Ashara and Cersei. She had planned to tell them about it, she really had, but then she had just never found an opportunity to do it. She had thought that she would be able to get out without them taking too much notice about it. That she thought because the two of them had a hangover from hell.

“You didn’t drink last night and you’re wearing makeup, you’re going somewhere.”

Catelyn turned around to look at her directly instead of through the mirror.

“I’m going out for coffee with Ned” she said.

Ashara smiled tiredly.

“You are?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m happy for you but I also hate you.”

Catelyn turned back to the mirror to examine her look a final time.

“What have I done to deserve that?”

Ashara leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Cersei and I are stuck here, hangover as fuck, but you’re all pretty and have a date with a cute guy.”

Ned had accepted her following request and Ashara and Cersei had deemed him cute based on the pictures he had. Not amazingly good looking, but definitely cute.

Together the two of them had also reached the conclusion that there was no trace of a partner on his social media. He only had pictures with more than two people in them, which made it hard to determine, but after careful consideration they had said that he didn’t seem to have a girlfriend. Which of course didn’t matter to Catelyn, but they had found it very interesting.

“Thanks, but it’s not a date.”

It definitely wasn’t a date, but she was looking good. Her skin was glowing, her hair cooperated. It was a perfect day.

“Then what is it?”

“I’m meeting a person for coffee, that’s what it is.”

Ashara rolled her eyes.

“That really just sounds like a coffee date, KitKat.”

She didn’t know when Cersei’s ridiculous nickname for her had stuck, but it annoyed her that it had. She had long since given up on trying to fight it. KitKat. Sometimes that was just who she was. A chocolate covered wafer bar.

“If you insist on it, fine, it’s a friend date.”

She walked past Ashara and out of the bathroom. The flat was gloomy and the air was heavy with the smell of what Catelyn guessed was lavender, but she wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter what scented candle it was that Ashara had lit, the only thing that mattered was that Catelyn had an intense dislike of it. She was glad for that she had a good reason to get out of there.

“Is he aware of that it’s a friend date?” Ashara questioned as she followed Catelyn to the hallway.

He had to be. She couldn’t imagine him wanting to date her because why would he want that? She hadn’t exactly made a good first impression. Or second impression. She had been given multiple chances and had managed to fuck it up every time.

“Yes. I don’t think he would want to date me anyway.”

“Why?”

Catelyn tried to keep her mind off the social missteps she had made during her conversations with Ned. If she started thinking about that she would die. Well, she wouldn’t die, but she would have some trouble getting herself to their… friend date. And if she actually managed to get there she would have a very hard time looking at him.

“There’s no need to talk about that.”

A sly grin appeared on Ashara’s face.

“No need to talk about it, huh? Why’s that?”

“I’m an idiot, that’s all there is to say.”

“That isn’t like you.”

“My brain abandoned me somewhere in the middle, I don’t know.”

Catelyn really didn’t want to be that person, but she was smart. She was book smart and also did well in social situations. She was simply overall smart. Therefore she would have liked to know what it was about Ned that made her act like she had never spoken to a person before. What about him was so terribly special that she couldn’t use her brain? He wasn’t special, the only thing that made him stand out from the other people in her life was that he was Swedish. And there were literally millions of other Swedes.

“Good luck with your friend date” Ashara said when Catelyn opened the door to leave.

“Have fun here” Catelyn responded.

She was once more very happy for that she was going out instead of staying inside feeling like a corpse all day.

“We’re gonna order pizza, it’ll be great.”

Catelyn didn’t believe Cersei was awake and based on Ashara’s yawn she she guessed she would go back to bed for a little longer as well.

“Save me a slice.”

“Can’t promise anything.”

“Come on.”

“That’s what you get for ditching us for a guy.”

“Is it somehow my fault that you’re hangover?”

“Cat, honey, shut up and let me be a little bit jealous over your date.”

Why was she jealous? She had a girlfriend. And it still wasn’t a date, Ashara knew that. Catelyn would get no boyfriend out of meeting Ned for coffee.

“You have a girlfriend, go on a date with her.”

“I can’t date anyone in this condition.”

“I want dinner no matter your condition.”

Ashara almost pushed her out the door.

“Don’t keep the Swede waiting.”

“Hey, I need–“

The door shut before she had finished her sentence. She supposed it was for dramatic effect, but it wouldn’t really work as Ashara had pushed her out before she could take her bag and phone. So she opened the door and went back inside.

“Did you not get my hint?” Ashara chuckled. “I was telling you to leave.”

Catelyn snatched her bag up from where it stood on the floor just next to the door.

“I appreciate your attempt at recreating a scene from a shitty movie, but I needed my bag.”

“I knew something would ruin it.”

“Want to try again?”

Ashara looked like she actually considered it for a moment, but then she scrunched up her face.

“Nah, it wouldn’t be the same” she said.

“Sorry for ruining it.”

“I hate you now.”

Catelyn descended the stairs, cursing the fact that the lift was still broken. She didn’t even know how long it had been since it broke. Weeks, maybe months. And when it actually worked it worked for five days at a time anyway. Catelyn was a world champion when it came to running in stairs. She was nowhere near patient enough to simply walk down those stairs, that took way too long.

When she had stepped out on the street she heard her phone’s text signal and smoothly fished it out of her bag. It was a message from Ned. She had got his number after they started following each other on Instagram so that they could have more direct contact.

Is it fine if Oden comes?

Her lips curled into a smile, he wanted to bring his dog. That felt like an honor. She didn’t know if it was, but it certainly felt that way. And she was fine with his dog. It was a large dog, she wasn’t a fan of large dogs. But Oden seemed very polite.

Yeah, it’s no problem

Okay, see you soon

See you soon

She put her phone away again and happily walked towards the subway. She had hoped it would be sunny, it was not. Maybe it would have been if she hadn’t thought of it. The weather seemed to work that way. But it wasn’t raining, and according to her weather app it wouldn’t. It was just cloudy. Which was fine. Cloudy was fine. But it made her a little sad because her hair was at its best with some sunlight at it, if she could say so herself.

She arrived there before Ned. The bookshop was closed Sundays so she couldn’t browse for books while waiting. So she looked at her phone for a bit, tried not to stare at people walking past her. She didn’t know where he lived, so she had no idea about from which way he would come.

But before she knew it he was standing in front of her with Oden next to him.

“Hey” he said.

She smiled.

“Hi.”

“I hope Oden isn’t a problem.”

She crouched down slightly and scratched Oden between his ears.

“Not at all. We’re best friends, right, Oden?”

Not that a dog could answer her, but it seemed like he liked her. He wagged his tail. She didn’t speak dog, but she believed that meant he was happy. Or at least he didn’t hate her.

“He trusts you” Ned said.

She had been joking, but she saw no sign of that he was.

“I’m sorry, I’m bad with dogs, how can you tell that?”

“Oh that’s not about dogs overall, it’s just Oden. He usually doesn’t let people touch his head. His brothers and sisters were a bit mean to him, and they would chew on his ears so he’s sensitive in that area.”

Catelyn previously hadn’t believed that she would ever reach the point in her life where a dog trusted her. She didn’t like dogs, and dogs didn’t like her. It had been that way for as long as she could remember. And still she stood there with a dog who according to his owner trusted her.

“I really do not deserve that” she said dismissively. “At all.”

Ned looked at her for a moment before answering. She looked back into his eyes. Grey. They were grey. And she was certain of that she wouldn’t forget it that time around. Even more so she hoped they wouldn’t go so long without seeing each other that she had time to forget again. But she wouldn’t let that happen.

“I think you do.”

Maybe she was blushing. She had no idea. All she knew was that he was very sweet and that she liked that about him.

“Thank you.”

She had probably held eye contact with him for longer than appropriate but he didn’t seem to mind. When she snapped out of it and averted her eyes, turning her gaze to the street instead.

“Where do you want to go?” she asked.

Ned sighed.

“I’m going to confess something” he then said. “I don’t know a lot about coffee, where I come from we drink it plain and black. So you pick wherever you like.”

Interesting that he had asked her out for coffee then. Maybe that was simply the first thing that had come to his mind when he asked her.

“Okay. Well, this isn’t my part of the city, I’m rarely here, but if we walk around the area I’m sure we’ll find something good.”

She was only there when she was at the bookshop. She had no other reason to be there, she only knew they had a good bookshop there.

“Sounds good.”

They started walking down the street with Oden ahead of them.

“Don’t you have coffee shops in Sweden?” Catelyn said.

It seemed so much like an exaggerated stereotype that she couldn’t really believe it. Sweden wasn’t all winter and woods, was it? They had cities and in cities there were coffee shops. Or so she believed. Maybe Sweden was a stranger country than she had initially thought.

“We have in the cities, but my family is from the country side so I didn’t have easy access to them. I learned to drink my coffee black. In the wrong company you could get shamed for drinking it with a little bit of milk.”

“Really?”

“Proper people drink their coffee black” Ned said in a heavy Swedish accent.

Catelyn couldn’t keep herself from laughing and he smiled.

“I drink my coffee black too sometimes” she said. “But that’s mostly when I’m too tired to put anything in it because I’m studying.”

“Everyday I thank myself for quitting math.”

“I get you, sometimes it’s all pain, but I like it.”

“I’m a bit jealous, I wish I was good at it.”

She was somewhat flattered by that. So he wanted something that she had too, she wasn’t the only one who was a bit jealous of the others talents? Maybe she was a bad person for feeling that. She didn’t really care.

“Do you?”

“I have always admired academic people, but I’m definitely not one of them. My brain’s not wired that way.”

“That’s funny, because I thought the same thing about you when you said that you draw” she confessed. “I wish I was good at that.”

Ned didn’t answer, so she looked at him to see if something had happened. He didn’t look back at her, seemingly deep in thought. Which confused her. Had what she said really been that thought inducing? She didn’t believe so. They stopped at a red light, waiting for the light to turn green so that they could cross the street. The moment she wasn’t walking she realized her hands were getting quite cold. She should have brought gloves, she realized as she stuck them in her pockets.

“I could teach you, if you’d like” he offered.

By then she had almost forgotten that she was talking to someone.

“What?”

“I could teach you, if you’d like” he repeated. “I’m not amazing, and I don’t know how good I am at teaching, but I can try.”

Catelyn wasn’t a person who lost her tongue. She could always talk, even in situations where she got nervous or embarrassed. She always had her words. That wasn’t always something she considered positive, but it was true. Though she believed that what she felt then was the closest thing to speechlessness she would ever come.

They had only met a few times, that was the first time they had actually agreed to meet up. They didn’t know each other too well, they were only acquainted with each other. And still Ned offered to teach her. Still he offered to help her learn something she had wanted to learn for many years.

“Would you do that?” she asked, feeling herself smile.

“If you want to, sure” he responded, shrugging as if it was no big deal.

“I have nothing to give you in return, but thank you. I would love to do that.”

“You don’t need to give me anything in return, it’s just a fun thing.”

It could definitely be a fun thing.

The light turned green and together with the other people who had gathered at the crossing they hurried across the street with Oden leading the way.

“Are you cold?” he asked.

“What? No, I’m not cold at all” she lied.

There was no need to fuss about that. She was just too stupid to dress for the weather. Maybe she should have learned to after having been alive for quite some time, but she never seemed to do so. Her father would have shook his head if he could have seen her, he had always stooped her in the door and given her a hat and a pair of gloves.

“Are you sure? Because it really seems like it.”

She should have taken a scarf and a pair of gloves, she could definitely admit to that, but it was a little too late to think of it then.

“What makes you think I’m cold?”

“The fact that your shoulders are up at your ears and your hands are very deep down in your pockets.”

“Okay, I’m a little cold, but it’s nothing.”

If she hadn’t known herself as well as she did she would have looked in her bag to see if she by any chance had a pair of gloves in it. But she did know herself, and was therefore aware of that she would never put gloves in her bag. Looking was therefore unnecessary.

To her great horror he first handed her Oden’s leash, and then took of his own gloves off before offering them to her.

“Ned, there’s no need for that, you really don’t have to” she protested. “You shouldn’t have to be cold because I’m bad at wearing enough clothes.”

Ned didn’t listen to that. He merely took Oden’s leash back and instead gave her the gloves. When he did so his hand touched hers and she felt how warm it was. It could just have been the contrast to her frozen hand, but it felt like he was very warm. They would have made a good match if they were dating in that sense.

“God, your hands are warm” she said.

“I know, that’s why you need the gloves a lot more than I do” he said. “Put them on.”

The need to get her hands warmed up came out victorious in the fight against the want to keep protesting. And she was actually very grateful for the gloves when she put them on and felt an instant relief. They were way too large, but they were a lot better than nothing.

“Thank you, this is very kind of you, but never leave your dog in my hands again. He’s a nice dog, I like him, but I draw the line there.”

“Okay, thank you for letting me know.”

“I’m usually not this bad at planning” she then said, feeling that she had to defend some of what little dignity she had left.

“Just like you’re usually not late?” he quipped, obviously amused by her words.

So he remembered that, did he? That hadn’t been a lie, she was always on time. But the latter was a truth with modifications. She was a good planner, but not when it came to dressing for the weather.

“Yes, like that. I don’t know what has gotten into me lately.”

“I hear that’s what London does to you if you stay here for too long.”

“I think it’s Britain overall, it’s been too long since I was home.”

How long had it been since she visited home? It must have been in the beginning of the summer and at the moment it was the middle of autumn.

“Where are you from?” he asked. “More specifically.”

“Galway. Where are you from?”

“I doubt you would know it, most Swedes don’t know it. It’s a small town. And we didn’t even live in that small place, we lived a bit away from it.”

He was right, she knew exactly two Swedish cities. The two largest ones. And he said he was from a small place earlier so she had known it wasn’t one of those, but it had seemed polite to ask.

“I know Stockholm and Gothenburg, which one is it closest to?”

“Good question, uhm… Gothenburg, I think. But it’s about the same distance to both of them. It’s close to the Norwegian border, not too far from Sweden’s largest lake.”

Just then she realized that she knew absolutely nothing about Swedish geography. She had no idea about the name of the largest lake or where in the country it was. And knowing it was close to the Norwegian border didn’t exactly help, Sweden did have a long border towards Norway. That she knew.

“I’m completely lost” she admitted. “You’ll have to show me on a map.”

Ned laughed.

“Absolutely, but then you’ll have to show me Galway on a map. I have no idea about where that is” he said.

“Don’t you know Galway? There’s eighty thousand people living there.”

“I have heard of Galway, I just don’t know where it is!” he said defensively.

“Okay, small town boy” she chuckled.

He pulled a face at her, making her laugh even more.

“I know I’m not the most academic person, but you’re being unfair, big city girl.”

Catelyn smiled.

“Small town isn’t negative. I like small towns. They have an atmosphere and a feeling that cities don’t have.”

She thought of her grandparents’ house in the country side. She had been there all the time when she was a child, sometimes she had thought it was better there than in the city. Wherever Ned was from was probably lovely.

“Small towns are very different from London” he said. “My siblings dreamed of leaving, but I liked it there. It was calm, not much happened. A good place to make art.”

“You said your older brother lives here, right?”

“Yes. My brother Brandon lives here. I have two younger siblings, as well. A sister, Lyanna, and a brother, Benjen. They’re back in Sweden with my parents. Do you have siblings?”

“I have a younger sister, Lysa, and a little brother, Edmure. He’s twelve, he thinks I’m a total nerd for studying math. He thinks I should get a cool degree instead, like criminology. He still calls a lot and wants to come here to visit though.”

“Despite that you’re a nerd?” Ned chuckled.

“Yeah, despite that I’m a nerd. Apparently I’m still likable and a pretty okay older sister.”

“You’re likable. Och vacker.”

The first thing she understood perfectly, but those last two words she didn’t know. That was Swedish. Why had he started speaking Swedish suddenly? And what did it mean?

“Thank you, but I’m sorry, I don’t know what that second thing means” she said.

Ned gave her a look. She didn’t know what that meant either. There were many things about him that she didn’t know or understand.

“It was nothing” he said.

“No, that wasn’t nothing. If it was nothing you would have told me what it meant” she said, nudging him in the side. “Come on, tell me!”

“No.”

“You’ve made me cur–“

“This might be a good place, don’t you think?”

Catelyn shut her mouth and looked up to see that he was right, that was a coffee shop. She wasn’t sure of exactly where they were, she didn’t recognize it so she had probably never been there before. But they had coffee and that was the only criteria she had.

“You wait here with Oden, I can go inside and order” she said. “What do you want?”

“You already know what I want.”

“Are you sure you don’t want something more fun?”

“Proper people drink their coffee black, big city girl” he reminded her.

She laughed and then took off the gloves, handing them to him.

“Thanks for letting me borrow them, I’ll be back out in a few minutes.”

She opened the door and was met by a wave of heat. It was quite crowded, seemed like everyone had decided to get coffee at the same time. She placed herself at the end of the long line and then took her phone out of her bag, immediately taking up a translator. And then found that she couldn’t remember what that word was that he had said. Or those words. She was pretty sure of that there had been two words, but she couldn’t for her life remember what they were. And it annoyed her. It was annoying that he refused to tell her. Had it been something really insulting? But why would he say something insulting, she didn’t believe she had done anything to deserve that.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee was one she had mixed feelings for. She had worked in a coffee shop for almost a year, and had quit just before starting to take classes that autumn as her working schedule didn’t work out with the classes, and she wasn’t allowed to change it. Coffee was a good scent, but some of her worst interactions with other people had also happened in that environment. She had to get a new job though, she was starting to run low on money.

When it came down to it she got him a latte because she couldn’t bring herself to order black coffee. It was too boring, she had to teach him to drink other kinds of coffee as well.

“What do I owe you?” he asked when she came back outside.

“Nothing, it’s on me this time. And you didn’t get black coffee” she informed him.

“I knew it. Is it a latte?”

“It is a latte.”

“I’ll accept it.”

“You sure you won’t get all soft from the steamed milk?” Catelyn said teasingly.

He took a sip from his mug.

“If I don’t survive the winter it’s your fault.”

“I’ll be sure to let your family know that.”

“Thank you, I’m sure it will bring them much comfort as they’re grieving me.”

“Most definitely.”

“Do you want the gloves?” Ned asked when they started walking again.

She didn’t know where they were going, and she supposed he didn’t either. Just walking could be nice too.

“No, I’m good. I have the warm mug now, and besides they’re your gloves, you should have them.”

“I’ll bring an extra pair next time.”

He wanted to see her more times. Things couldn’t be going bad then, could they? He liked her as well as she liked him.

“Or maybe we’ll see each other indoors” she suggested.

“That works too.”

They crossed a street once more and came out to a park. Why had she never been in that park before? It was a nice park and it was probably even better in summer. She would have to remember that. Maybe she could go there with Ned again. Or she could take Ashara and Cersei there. They went to parks all the time in the summer.

“What do you do in your spare time?” Ned asked.

“If you’re fishing for hobbies now I won’t be able to give you anything. When I don’t study I read, and spend time with my flat mates, occasionally I go to a pub or meet up with other friends. Well, I bake a lot, does that count as a hobby?”

She was actually a quite good baker, but when she thought of it she lived a very boring life. She didn’t consider it boring, she liked it as it was, but it wasn’t anything spectacular. There wasn’t much variation.

“Why wouldn’t it count as a hobby?”

“I don’t–“

Suddenly he almost fell to the side and therefore right into her. Warm coffee splashed over both of them as she stumbled over her own feet. She would have fallen over if he had not quickly dropped her mug in order to grab her arm and hold her upright.

At first she didn’t understand what had happened or why he had lost his feet, but then she realized that it was Oden that had suddenly pulled at his leash.

“För i helvete, Oden!” Ned exclaimed before turning to her. “I’m so sorry, he must have seen a squirrel or something.”

She looked at him, coffee all over his chest area, then looked down at herself. She had equally as much coffee, if not more, all over her. Had she not worn her coat it probably would have burned her.

Catelyn closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again.

“It’s fine, it wasn’t intentional. And no major harm was done.”

She hoped the stains would go away in the washing machine. Otherwise she wouldn’t be that happy, but she still couldn’t be angry at anyone. Neither Ned nor Oden had done it on purpose. And it wasn’t like he didn’t also have coffee all over him.

“Jag visste att jag inte skulle ha tagit med dig” Ned muttered to Oden. “Varför kan du inte bete dig när det behövs?”

The dog stood before them, looking at them with puppy eyes. Seemingly wondering why they had just stopped the walk. When Catelyn met his eyes he tilted his head, wagging his tail.

“And that means?”

“He’s not like this usually, I have no idea about what has gotten into him” he said apologetically.

She believed he had chosen to ignore her question and that wasn’t the translation for what he had said, but she couldn’t be sure about that as she didn’t know a single Swedish word.

“It’s okay, really. Accidents happen.”

He was still holding her arm, and they were standing quite close to each other. There was still some distance between them, but it was far less than when they had been walking. She was blushing, she could feel her cheeks burn. Why did she have to blush, why was that her first reaction to everything?

He noticed just seconds after she did and let go of her arm, then he backed away a step, avoiding her eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for the coffee?” he asked, sounding deeply troubled about it all.

“I’m sure. Next time coffee’s on you, it’ll even out.”

Ned sighed.

“I really feel like I should in some way compensate you for this.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

It felt somewhat ridiculous to stand there and talk about whether or not he should pay her for the coffee while both of them were dripping with it.

She would have laughed if she hadn’t wanted to disappear into the ground, never to appear again. Both because of the ridiculousness of the situation and because it was so far from how it had played out in her head when she had thought about it beforehand. Nowhere in her imaginations had she come up with a scenario where they stood in a park together with his dog, both of them having coffee all over themselves. She should have expected it though. Of course she couldn’t see him one time without something happening.

“Look, I understand if you don’t want to see me again–” he started.

“Why wouldn’t I want to see you again?”

His expression changed from a very anxious one to one that indicated that he believed that she had completely lost it.

“Because I poured almost all of my coffee on you?”

“I poured coffee all over you too, this goes two ways. Oh God, we look ridiculous.”

She could always take some comfort in that they were looking ridiculous together.

“I know, I can see you clearly” he responded dryly.

As if he didn’t look just as stupid as she did. 

"Take a good look then, small town boy. I've never looked better."

She had probably never looked worse. At least when it came to her clothes. It was a good outfit, but the stains didn't really go with it.

"Det är ingen dålig syn."

The whole Swedish thing was fun, she liked hearing him speak his first language, but she was also already tired of not always understanding what he was saying. Communicating in Swedish didn't really work though because she didn't know a word in that language, otherwise she wouldn't have minded at all.

"I'm sorry, Swedish is a fine language, but I don't understand and this time you'll have to translate for me."

"That feels deeply unnecessary."

There was something about the look he had after he had said it that made her even more curious. Like a child who was pretending he wasn't guilty of something he had obviously done and was having a hard time keeping the mask up. What was he saying to her? And why did he refuse to translate it?

"Well, this has been very nice, but I suppose we'll have to continue some other time, because we're both in need of a change of clothes" she said.

She crouched down and picked up the mugs they had dropped. Then she walked over to a nearby trash can and tossed them in it.

"Once again, I'm very sorry” he said.

"There's not much to do about it, so no need to feel sorry."

They began making their way back towards where they had met up, trying very hard to pretend they were not covered in coffee. They actually managed to pass by fairly unnoticed, Catelyn only saw one person give them a look as they walked past. And that wasn't strange, she had seen so much weirder things than two people who had clearly had a little accident while living in London. Maybe it even passed as some sort of fashion statement. When it had just happened it hadn't felt like it, but it could have been worse. A lot worse. She still wanted to disappear from the face of earth when she thought about it, but at the same time she knew that it was definitely a thing she could get over. It had been an accident, it wasn't something she had done or said. That was always an improvement from the times they had met in the bookshop.

"Except for the mess I had a pretty good time" she smiled when they arrived at where they would walk different ways.

"We'll have to do it again without that part" he agreed.

"Indoors" she added.

"I'll bring extra gloves in the future, just in case we need to go somewhere."

She snorted, wondering if he really was that much of an outdoor person.

"That works too."

They fell quiet after that, unsure of what to do. What was appropriate? Could she hug him? That was what seemed most reasonable to her as a handshake was way too formal but she still needed to say goodbye in some way. Hugging also felt most natural to her. Though she couldn't be sure of that he was a hugger. She had never been more thankful for her phone ringing. Maybe a few times, but she was happy to hear her ringtone in that moment. She didn't have to answer it, but it gave her a little more time to figure out what to do.

"I should probably check who it is, I'm sorry" she said apologetically.

She wished she could have just taken up her phone, but it had somehow disappeared underneath everything else she had in the bag. Old receipts, two pairs of sunglasses, a charger, her wallet, a box with a broken bracelet that she had intended to get fixed, some pads. And that was only some of it. How had her phone managed to get down under all that? And when had she put all that crap in the bag? When she finally managed to find it she saw Edmure's name and picture on the screen, and she answered the call with a small smile on her face.

"Uncle wants to know if you're coming home for Christmas" her brother's little voice informed her before she had time to answer.

"Hello to you too, Ed" she chuckled.

"Are you coming home for Christmas?"

It was more than a month and a half until Christmas, why did Uncle Brynden want to know that already? And why wasn't he calling her instead of making Edmure do it? They had regular contact, why hadn't he asked her when they talked the day before?

"I am, but why does he want to know that now?"

"He said why, but I forgot to listen, I just know he told me to ask you that."

She had to keep herself from laughing again by biting down on her tongue. It didn't get easier when she locked eyes with Ned who proceeded to wave back at her despite that they were a meter away from each other.

"Okay."

She would have to call him later and see what it was about.

"What are you doing?" Edmure continued, quickly moving past Christmas.

"I'm out with a friend."

"Is it Ashara or Cersei? Or one of your other friends?"

"His name is Ned, you haven't met him."

There was a short pause from Edmure's side.

"Can I say hello to him?" he then asked.

She could imagine him in his room back in Galway. Sitting at his desk in front of the window of the room, picking at the flaking blue paint on his chair, his eyes narrowed with suspicion. He was always like that when she told him about new people.

"Do you want to say hello to my brother?" she said to Ned.

He shrugged.

"Sure, why not?"

She put Edmure on speaker and then held up the phone.

"Alright, you can say hello now, Ed."

"Hello, Ned."

Ned leaned forward slightly to answer.

"Hello, Edmure."

"Are you and my sister actually friends or are you her boyfriend?"

Ned raised his eyebrows in surprise and she felt the moment she stopped breathing, her eyes going wide.

"Pardon?"

"And that's enough!" Catelyn interrupted, quickly taking Edmure off speaker and putting the phone to her ear again. "Say hello to everyone back home and tell them I love them, bye!"

"But–"

She pressed the button to end the call. There was the reason for why not. She should have seen that one coming, she should have known. She could have spared them both the humiliation if she had just thought it through a second time. Edmure didn't have many boundaries, she had hoped that would grow away when he got older, but it never did. Though he still had some years left before he was a lost case, he was only twelve, after all.

"I had no idea that was going to happen, please forgive me" she said in a low voice as she put her phone back in her bag.

If she looked at him she wouldn't be able to see him again. She would have to delete his contact in her phone and erase every proof of that they had ever met.

"My older brother and my sister are exactly like that, I get you."

She had a feeling of that he wasn't looking at her either, but rather up at the sky.

"There's always some comfort in not being alone, I guess."

"There is."

She took a deep breath and then went in for a quick hug. Based on the way his whole body tensed at first she thought it had been a miscalculation from her side, but then he laid his free arm arm over her back and hugged her back. They were only in contact for a few seconds, but during that short time she once more got to feel how warm he was. His future girlfriend would be lucky to have him in the winter, it was nice. He was nice, all of him.

"We'll have to see each other again" she said when they parted.

"Definitely. Will I hear from you in the near future?"

Catelyn scratched Oden behind one ear. He had patiently been standing still and waiting while they had been standing there and talking. Why weren't all dogs like him? She would have liked them a lot better if they were

"You’ll hear from me as soon as I know when I can. Take care."

"You too."

She threw a glance over her shoulder when they walked separate ways. She did so every few seconds until Ned and Oden had disappeared behind a corner and she could no longer see them. She sighed, that sure had been a lot. They had done quite well, she would like to lay the blame with Oden and Edmure for that it had gone as it did. In the future she wouldn't answer any calls from Edmure while she was around people, it was better that way. Much better. When was back home and had climbed up all the stairs to the sixth floor she was met by ABBA. She hadn't even opened the door yet, but she could clearly hear "Dancing Queen". They were probably watching Mamma Mia!, Ashara loved that movie. Catelyn was almost positive she herself had seen the movie half a hundred times just because Ashara put it one at least once a week.

"What the hell did you do in order to look even more like crap than we do?" Cersei asked when she caught sight of her. "Really, what happened to you, KitKat?"

She felt like she was doing a walk of shame. Except for that she hadn't had sex with anyone, she had just spilled coffee all over herself and the person she had been meeting with. She needed fresh clothes. And dinner, she was starving.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, I need a while to process the whole thing."

"Sounds like a successful date" Ashara hummed to the tune of the chorus of the song.

"It was eventful, if nothing else.”

"There's pizza for you in the fridge, if that makes anything better."

Catelyn stopped to look at her, almost believing that she would start crying over some pizza.

"Really?"

"Yeah, go wild."

"I love you, I'll join you in a minute, I just need to change my clothes."

[bakibakini]

✦ first kisses with the swedes ( tua ) ✦ headcanons

pairings : axel x reader ; otto x reader ; oscar x reader

genre : fluff 

notes : yea ik my life is going downhill ... ik ik .... but i love them so much im lich rally making commission ocs to ship w them N  E ways , no one asked for this except for my heart,,,, the swedes live rent free in my mind so pls send req 4 them

✧˖*°࿐

axel : 

it’s true that axel is a very tactical , put - together man , and upon first glance one might even say that he’s scared of nothing , he can do everything . including knowing the ins and outs of physical affection .

unfortunately ... that’s wrong . he may not show it , but he’s quite awkward when it comes to physical affection . not shy or anything , he’s just ... clueless . 

in all his life , especially after joining the commission , he didn’t really think he’d need to be physically affectionate with anyone , but then you came along and he’s honestly like ??? 

he relies on you to show him the ropes ! ( if anyone asks i may or may not write some stuff up abt how he shows his love in other ways but u have to ask 🤭🤭 ) 

he gets the hang of hugs , and cuddles , and other forms of affectionate touches pretty quickly , and because he’s so observant , he can usually tell just from the way you glance at him when you want him to hold you ( granted it’s not in public , he’s not a big fan of pda ) . 

kissing is another story though - you’re like super 🥺👉👈 when it comes to axel , so you’re a bit too shy to kiss him , whereas he honestly doesn’t know when to do it ??? he’s seen a few silly romance movies where people kiss in really romantic settings , but he can’t really do that ( at least not now ; because of work ) , so he doesn’t do anything , thinking the time and place has to be very specific .

that is until ... one particular time - 

whether you’re in the commission or not , because you’re close to axel , you’re bound to get mixed up to some extent , and one day you get too mixed up for his liking . 

you get injured , not badly ( because if you were badly injured , axel would not waste a second trying to get you help ) , but enough to get axel riled up . after he’s taken care of the threat , you try to reassure him that you’re fine , but your voice quickly gets lost in your throat , as axel discards his weapons and runs up to hold you , pressing his lips against yours right after . 

it happens so quickly ; you’re honestly more shaken up by the kiss than the fact that you were just attacked . it’s so passionate , and desperate , his arms wrapped around you tightly making it even more deep .

not gonna lie , your knees go a little weak - 

once he pulls away he practically shoves your face to his chest , then kisses the top of your head , and you’re all like : 0000

he doesn’t need to speak for you to know he was scared ( you may have been grateful for that though , the kiss was nice !! )

you make a mental note of asking for more kisses later and after that spur of the moment need to have you so close to him , he's 100% sure he can kiss you any time you're alone .

✧˖*°࿐

otto : 

he’s just a huge teddy bear idk what you’re talking about -

otto is so whipped for you , the second you’d get into a relationship is the second he’s all over you ! 

you don’t even need to say anything , he can engage physical affection by himself , cuz he just loves you a lot !!! omg !!! you’re his favorite person !! you bet he’s going to squeeze the soul out of you !!! 

but then comes the time to kiss you and he’s instantly like “ 😶 wait is this real rn ”

he feels like kissing you , really , but suddenly his hands clamp up , his heart starts racing and he can’t move . honestly you can feel him tense up , but you think it’s cute that he gets nervous around you , so you don’t say anything . 

every time he loses his chance to kiss you , he screams internally . you could kiss him , but honestly , you sense his inner distress of not being able to do it by himself , and you kinda wanna see him do it !! mayhaps it’s sadistic of you , but you’re just waiting for him to gather the courage !!! you’re sure he can do it eventually !!! 

it happens when you’re watching a movie , a shitty rom - com to be precise . it was your idea , your little way of teasing him . once the first kiss scene came on , you made sure to sigh wistfully , making a comment about how sweet it was . 

you hadn’t expected him to do anything , for some reason , but next thing you know , he’s leaning over , and kissing you , and you’re absolutely gone . you’re so surprised , you can’t even hold in a muffled yelp of surprise . it prompts him to place his hand on your shoulder ( he doesn’t want you to run away , but him squeezing your shoulder probably doesn’t help !! )

after he pulls away , you’re just staring at each other , both dumbfounded .

“ o - otto !! y - you - ” you whine , and groand , and plop your head against his chest to obscure your blushing face . the sight of you being all cute makes him calm down , and pull you closer . 

in conclusion , he’s more babie than he looks . 

✧˖*°࿐

oscar : 

he’s not initiating it , he’s way too baby . he’s so !!! baby !!!!!!! he’s horrified !!!!!!!! ( not of you obviously , but of showing affection first ) 

take him by the hand , hug him , pull him into your chest for a change ; anything to ease him into your relationship . granted you’re not just as shy , you find it endearing . he’s just so 🥺🥺🥺 and you’re so happy to be with him ( even if it frustrates you that he’s still to shy to just take your damn hand !! ) 

he asks his brothers for advice and they just make fun of him , let’s be real . it’s only because they’re both disasters , too .

you love him so so much , but you're fed up , so it's time to take matters into your own hands , sweetie !

you decide it's going to be quick , right before he and his brothers leave for another assignment so he wouldn't have the time to dwell on it .

they're all getting ready as you tip-toe your way closer to oscar , offering him a wide smile , eyebrows scrunched in inevitable worry for his safety , even though you know he can very well take care of himself .

" hey , oscar , " you start , successfully getting his attention . the moment he turns to you , you're quick to give him a short kiss on the lips . " take care ! "

oscar.exe stopped working

it takes him a minute to realize what just happened , but once he does , he nods frantically .

on the way to their assignment , oscar can't stop thinking about that little kiss and promises himself to try and ask you for another one . after officially seeing the magic , this mans wants more , even if he's still a little shy about it --

[oskarwing]

for the salty ask: 1, 5, 12, 16,

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get? Uh that's kinda hard I'm mostly very okay-dokay with anyone shipping and liking whatever they like. I guess I'm a little over saturated with Klave? Like very sweet, very interesting in regards to Klaus but just... I don't know Dave enough to actually judge the pairing and I feel like maybe they wouldn't really work outside of Vietnam. But I do get it kinda. The impact we see Dave have on Klaus is a lot. 5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? This is mostly a joke but I can not stand the name Vissy. Makes me think of pee as in the word that was used when I was a little kid. It's getting very close to ruining Vanya and Sissy for me. 12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn't? Why? ... sooooo... I said it before but I do really, really like the Luther locks Vanya up scene. I just think it works very well without actually making me hate either of them. I think Luther seeing Vanya as a threat after what happened to Allison and like just the time he's been having, dude's just back from four years of isolation, having his first interactions being with siblings a lot of whom antagonize him, one who keeps yelling about the apocalypse then finding out about his mission being like... nothing actually and having his first night on drugs, a first sexual encounter that was pretty iffy on the consent side and clearly disturbed him and keep in mind that was the last time he was seen sleeping I think his logic is very well drawn out and understandable. He also doesn't intend to keep her locked up forever and ever. Like he isn't thinking clearly but you can see where the logic comes from. On the other side you can see why all Vanya wants to do is go to her siblings, her family and why all she wants is a hug from her bro. She's also not thinking clearly and you get why she flips and destroys the academy. Like bro. Yes, be mad. I don't think her siblings deserve that anger as much as some people like to make it out but anger usually spills all out in my experience, especially if it got held up for so long. And Reggie isn't here to take it anymore. These are just two people who shouldn't make decisions in those moments making decisions and that leading to a catastrophe. And I really enjoy seeing that for some reason. Also I think the acting during that hug is amazing, they really utilize the sizes of Tom and Elliott. 16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? As fun as I find the Handler I would have loved to see Carmichael be a bigger bad, like Lila could be his ward or somethign. And like just a lot about the Commission felt kinda... half done in s2. The swedes weren't as cool as Hazel and Cha-Cha and also they killed Elliot :( So yeah. I'd change those parts. Thank you anon for the ask! I hope you weren't dissappointed, especially my Ship answers weren't that great I know I just am not too opinionated other then "Huh that would be cute."

[trashpocket]

Hey I saw you were asking for writing/art prompts, if you're up for it maybe something for Emil and Lalli? Maybe something cute about them either coming up with their own short form of talking (sign/hand signals whatever) to check in on eachother and ask if eachother is ok? Or maybe theyre both trying to learn how to say something sweet in the others language and they blurt it out at the same time? Feel free to interpret as you wish :D

He never shows it, but the Silent World is anything but silent.

Lalli thought Emil was too loud, and he barely understood a word besides his name, but Emil patiently mimed his words, pretending to cup his hands and pour them over his head, before finally pointing in the direction of the small wooden tub he had already set out, hidden by the side of the tank. Lalli scowled even further, not even amused by Emil’s fumbling, which told Emil that Lalli must be very tired.

Ghosts have been trailing after the tank quietly, as days became shorter and shorter — the distance getting cut, getting sliced so thinly, he could now count the minutes before the sun would set and the moon would finally show its face, waking him to the night’s refuge. He was okay with the evening, and the darkness of early mornings, but more often than not, he was not okay with ghosts who have not moved on from their resting places. He was not okay with the distance between them and the hoard growing shorter. He was not okay with the trolls who came too close from the houses that creaked and groaned when he approached;  every shadow behind decrepit walls and large trees. The giants who gurgled and croaked when he ran, drew near, closed his eyes to sense them.

The Silent World was ironically, hardly silent. The grotesque sounds made his skin raise and itch; made him want to curl up and slap his hands over his ears when it became too strong. But he didn’t. Usually, never does.

He comes back in the morning, duty done, every monster and landmark mapped, every face of a troll memorized, every possible route checked. Then, the usual briefing between Sigrun and Tuuri occur, where both of them pester him about the map, scold him for his weird squiggly lines, and wring every last bit of energy out of him till he was just an irritated and tired mess, eyes almost falling shut if he simply blinked. But the noises were too much -- everyone’s voices were too much, too harsh.

This morning was the same.

He shook his head from its hood, hair falling in a curtain around him as he tried to sneakily enter the tank door, wanting to sleep the noise in his head away, only to be interrupted by said door opening in his face. Emil strode out, all smiles and squinted eyes. Lalli scowled. The nerve of the Swede to be so happy this early in the morning.

“Lalli! We still have to decontaminate you!”

Emil froze, and Lalli was ready to hiss out a sigh, before he heard Emil shuffle around him worriedly, cupping his face with frantic panic. “Sorry! Did I get the soap in your eyes?!  Don’t tell me I did!” 

He knew not to touch Lalli when he was annoyed though, and simply followed after him as he marched to the tub, and they got the decontamination under way. Lalli let his thoughts drift as Emil handled him gently, babbling all the way, thankful that Emil’s Swedish nonsense was lulling his thoughts into peaceful rest. At least -- mornings like this, his babble was enough to sift out the white noise. It was when Emil focused on some particular troll gunk on his hair that he went silent in concentration, and Lalli suddenly noticed that he missed its comforting presence.

He stared into the dark water, made a small sound of distress, needing to drown out the exhaustion and the buzzing of his skin -- the white noise in his head that threatened to come back. The irritation of this morning.

“Lalli?” Emil peered over him, and Lalli opened his eyes, looking up from his knees. Emil frowned, pressed a hand to the side of his face, and tilted his head. “Tired?”

Lalli wasn’t familiar with the word, but he understood the familiar gesture and only grumbled, “Mrrrr,” in ascent.

“Okay, I’ll be quick,” Emil nodded, before scooping up water with a cup in one hand, and letting his other hand hover Lalli’s eyes. Lalli closed them, trusting Emil as warm water dripped down his head, down his shoulders, washing the suds on his back. But his worried babbling didn’t continue and, frustrated, Lalli grabbed Emil’s hand and pressed it against his eyes, hoping he would understand the sign. 

Emil was crouching in front of the tub, hands outstretched and cupping Lalli’s face. His fingers ran gently over his eyes to soothe any irritation, pads of his fingers going over lashes, eyelids, the bags beneath his eyes. From the tone of his voice, Emil was apologizing profusely for something but Lalli didn’t quite care. He was talking again, he was taking care of him -- and since Lalli had been forced to run day scouting and raids the other day, too -- he felt like the attention was well deserved on his part. The others had to learn from Emil, Lalli thought, but only Emil knew how to care for him this way. So, never mind. The others could stay useless to Lalli for all he cared.  

But Emil paused in his ministrations now, and Lalli opened his eyes. 

“Are you okay? Not hurt?” Emil covered one of Lalli’s eyes briefly, before pulling it back, non-verbally asking about them. “Did I get all the soap out?” 

Lalli blinked in confusion, narrowing his eyes, and Emil looked ready to throw another fit of panic, before Lalli cracked a small curl of his lip. Amusement. 

Emil recognized the mischievous look and gave Lalli a deadpan stare, unimpressed. “Finnish bastard.” 

Well, Lalli was quite familiar with those curse words, but Lalli had to show he was okay now. 

So, holding Emil’s hand to his face, he closed his eyes, and pressed the palm against his cheek, tilting his head. Like a cat. Emil wasn’t used to this gesture. 

He only stared, confused if Lalli really did still have soap in his eyes, before the moment lasted for a bit too long. Then he finally recognized the gesture -- reminding him of Bosse. Emil shook his head with a chuckle, eyes crinkling with his smile. Before he could stop himself, his fingers brushed the hair on Lalli’s temple, then they slid down, tracing the cut of his cheek to cup his jaw. 

Lalli opened his eyes. That was new. 

Emil asked, “So, you’re fine now?” 

Lalli only blinked. Emil sighed. Yeah, they kind of have to work on that one. That was a bit sudden of him. 

But then Lalli reached out, hand holding Emil's cheek too.

“Fine now.” New broken Swedish, very short words, but it was enough. 

Emil beamed, unfolded the towel that had been draped on his shoulders, and let the Finn step into his arms. 

That was when Lalli finally understood that the noise in his head was quiet now, filled with soft babbling, gentle words, and gestures that said much more. 

At least these were the mornings he returned to. 

_____________________

note: HEAVILY unedited 

okay, so lemme tell yall, I’ve been in such a heavy writing rut, and I kept scratching out everything  that I’ve been writing for this new idea I got, and i was getting NOWHERE. I decided to practice using this prompt, so THANK YOU peach, for the lovely little prompt (even though it took so long, im sorry sweetie)!!! I wanted to take this several ways, but this was all I could think of! I hope you liked it! Plus, I’m not very good at sign language, or any signs in general, so IM SORRY!!! I’ll make sure to study up on that in the future! i couldn’t do the “learn new words and blurt them out at the same time” cause i wrote this in an hour, the basic Swedish that I know is atrocious, it would make Emil look fluent in Finnish, and I don’t trust myself with google translate. but besides those excuses, lemme know what you think about it!!! This piece had me DEAD

[snippychicke]

I will probably never write this out, but I outlined it and thought it was too cute to share. An Otto/OC(self-insert tbh) story with a happy ending.

Allison's husband Raymond gets a very unsettling surprise when Otto starts trying to get out of the rolled carpet. Turns out he was unconscious but not dead. He freaks out because a beat-up woozy white guy in a black man's house is going to get him in jail, and likely dead. 

He helps Otto into his car and races to one of the few allies he knows, a nurse from a local hospital. She helps him get him into her home and promises to keep silent (though doubts the story he tells her, because to her it sounds like gibberish.)

She takes care of him in her old family home. He wakes up while she is cleaning his wounds.She begs him not to kill Raymond, stating he's a good man who got in over his head. That no one should be judged on one mistake.

He leaves and searches for Axel but there is no sign of him at the cat house. Some of their stuff is there, but all of Axel's belongings are noticeably absent. It's been years since he was truly alone. The ache of losing both brothers hits him hard. 

Otto wanders around Dallas but ends up back on the nurse's porch, where she finds him sitting on the stairs looking absolutely dejected and lost.She has seen a lot of different people on wrong paths in their life. Offers him a bed as long as he needs it, fusses at his wounds that reopened? Leg wound too? She pointedly doesn't ask questions, and he appreciates that.

They fall into a domestic situation that he is unused to. He is used to living on the road, always travelling and hunting. He needs something to do but isn't ready for an ordinary job. The house is run down, and she explains her father meant to fix it with the supplies in the garage but never did. 

It gives him something to do. She of course gets flustered by seeing him sweaty and shirtless but does her best to be respectful. He masters the skills needed by stumbling through the how-to books left behind, with her helping occasionally when he silently points to a word. And of course physical labor is rather easy for him.

She wants to thank him and asks around to find Swedish recipes and such.

The night she makes a sweedish dish as a thank you, he breaks somewhat. She apologizes profusely, saying she didn't mean to. He hugs her. Well, pulls her down into his lap is more like it, desperate for physical touch. She settles in his lap and just lets him cry into her shoulder, soothing his hair and reassuring him it would be okay.

They shift from roommates to friends as the weeks pass. Her obvious trust in people leaves him on edge. He makes a habit of making sure doors and windows are secure because she never does. She fusses at him to take breaks and relax, wondering why he is so paranoid in her opinion. They enjoy early mornings together on days off. 

They also adopted all the cats. She wakes up to the half of a dozen cats wandering the house, acting like it's theirs now. When she asks where they came from, Otto just shrugs. She gets use to it quickly when she sees it brings him some sort of peace, and sees the mouse infestation vanish in a fortnight.

She does start to drag him out once in a while on her days off. To the theatre, street festivals, and to other such events. Otto seriously starts to wonder how she hasn't been killed yet because trouble seems to follow her. Especially when white men see her being polite to poc, whom she tends favor more than others. Otto has to stop a few fights from being started with a strong glare. Just his presence diffuses more than one fight, and she has to admit she feels a lot safer with him at her side.

But one time he's maybe distracted at a fair, thinking of buying her a small cat charm she had been eyeing but denied herself, and comes to find some assholes getting rough with her and he loses it. The assholes are on the concrete within seconds. She is barely able calm him and begs him to quit as he's punching the man that smacked her, but manages to pull him away and go home.

She cleans his bruised and cut knuckles with shaky hands and he stops her so he can tend the split lip on her own face. 

"They hurt you...I'm sorry."

He has barely spoken monosyllabic words at this point, so she tears up. She enjoys the feeling of him cupping her face, and presses his hand tighter to her cheek as she laughs and says he easily paid them back 10 fold. 

He realizes this cute little nurse has become dear to him.

She realizes she's fallen for her housemate. 

Then the commission steps in. The new council asks Otto to return because their reduced numbers. Except he's already lost both of his brothers to them, he cannot lose her too. He doesn't feel strong enough to stand on his own. He turns them down, and turns back inside to wrap his arms around her as she is cooking. No kissing or words, just holding her in his arms as she sways. 

Herb comes alone a few days later. Otto turns to leave but Herb stops in his his tracks by offering to track down Axel. Not because to get them back for the commission, but as a peace offering for what happened to them. The offer makes him torn. On one hand it's his brother, Axel. The last of his family. But yet he still has nightmares of Axel choking him, even though he knows it's not his brother's fault, which leaves him conflicted. And he's built a life in Dallas. Helps the neighbors both colored and none with any heavy labor needed. And of course his budding relationship with the woman.

But ultimately it's his brother. Family. He cannot give up the chance. He leaves her a simple note asking her to stay safe. (he drafted over a dozen notes which she finds in the trash, ranging from promises to come back and ones where he thanks her for her kindness, and others scribbled out harshly she cannot make out the words.)

And when she realizes he left hurt it breaks her heart. She still fusses over the cats, but can't bring herself to do much more than work and sleep. Her friends try to pull her out for nights on the town, but she cannot. 

It takes weeks but Otto finds wherever the hippies have travelled to, the reunion of brothers is heartbreaking. The Cult fear the worse as the two storm towards each other before embracing tightly, trying hard not to cry. Axel thought he was dead, that he killed him. So to see him all be and okay breaks his facade. 

He begs for forgiveness, but Otto immediately assures him there is nothing to forgive. 

Otto brings Axel back to Dallas. When the woman sees him coming down the street, she forgets propiet and races down the sidewalk to jump into his arms. Axel watches both surprised and amused as his brother holds the tiny woman close. The woman is too emotional to think and ends up confessing her feelings in a jumbled mess. Otto silences her with a kiss, soft and sweet. Which she turns into a rather long intimate one.

Otto awkwardly introduces Axel after his brother clears his throat during the couple's kiss. "Can he stay with us, Älskling?" Otto asks, pushing her hair away from her tear-streaked face.

She happily says yes. 

Axel enters the house and the first thing he sees are the cats.

Otto: "What? You think I could leave them?'

Axel: *did leave the cats to fend for themselves* …

Just need to figure out a way for Oscar to show up sans his one leg but otherwise okay. Maybe he was a patient she has been caring for at the hospital?

Axel and Oscar quickly accept her as their little sister-in-law. Ships their brother with her so hard and push them together. Sets up so many cute dates for the two that usually end up not going as planned but still cute

Edited: i lied

[black-wolf066]

TUA Season 2 Thoughts

Okay, I know I’m extremely late to the game here, and I’m sure a lot of people have already touched base on the good and bad moments of this season; so I promise that the bad points that I do touch upon, will be short cause I do want to focus on what I loved.

First and foremost, I want to say that I did love season 2 with my whole freaking heart! I was ooooooh so very wrong with a lot of my predictions (and right in others *cough* Lila *cough*) but as I continued watching, I couldn’t bring myself to care (not too much anyway, there were a few things I was mad at, but meh).

 I loved seeing Hazel and I loved that the big oaf at least got 20 years with Agnes before she finally passed on. While I wish we could have seen snippets of that life and love rather then just flash backs to them in season 1; I’m still happy that Hazel got to live his life the way that he wanted to live it. Sure, I wasn’t happy that they killed him off, but for plot purposes it made sense—but on a lighter note, at least he could cross over into the afterlife and be happy with Agnes again. Right?

 Elliott is a hoot and I feel so bad that he died. All that poor man wanted was validation that he wasn’t crazy (which he got) and for someone to eat his damn Jell-O (I love ambrosia btw, but even I wouldn’t eat that ambrosia he made… sorry Elliott).

The sibling interactions between ALL OF THEM!!! JUST AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! It’s everything I could have hoped for and then some!!! The slap fight between Klaus and Ben on the street, Ben’s “You’re so independent, you fight your own damn battles”. Five and Luther reuniting “She’s too young for you” “Dad should have left him on the moon” (I snort laughed at both of these sentences). Then there’s Klaus and Allison reuniting, Allison not even hesitating to jump into the pool to hug her brother. OR THE WHOLE FAMILY REUNION!!! That Vanya and Allison hug! That hug as Klaus joined in and planted a kiss on the top of Vanya’s head!!!! The whole interaction between Allison and Diego “Can’t say Hi to anyone?” just omg, I could go forking on and on with this, because the banter and snappy comments from all of them are just total sibling culture and I relate sooooooooo much to it. (best believe I will jump on someone’s back like a damn spider monkey to protect my siblings, but I’d also sooner shank them too)

RAYMOND AND ALLISON!!!!! I’m ALLLLLLLLL FOOOOOOR THIS RELATIONSHIP!!!!! LIKE OMG!!!!!! WHY DIDN”T SHE TAKE HIM WITH HER!!!!! THEY ALREADY SCREWED THE TIMELINE UP ENOUGH BY JUST EXISTING THERE IN 1963 ANYWAY!!!! Like seriously, I’m actually upset that she didn’t take him with her, and now it looks like her daughter doesn’t even exist either… like omg Allison, sweet heart. Nooooooo.

I LOVE Luther’s development this season, the fact that he goes to apologize to Vanya, and actually takes blame for what happened, just makes me happy to know that the big lug is trying. Yea I know he took the gun with him, but honestly, I can’t blame him either. He was obviously scared and didn’t know what he would walk into, would she try and kill him again? Like we know the gun wouldn’t do sh*t to help him, but Luther wasn’t sure of that. Plus he never actually pulls it, his hand is constantly on it, but he never pulls it out, which shows that hurting her was not the end game. He wanted to actually apologize and he hoped that his sister would hear him out enough to allow him to do it.

I loved sissy and vanya. The friendship that turned to romance was cute, and while I’m still iffy with it because Sissy was married, I also understand to a small degree that Sissy truly felt stuck. Even without Vanya’s interference, I highly doubt Sissy would have been able to get a divorce and manage to keep possession of her son. Carl is an absolute bag of d*cks, and with Carl having a brother in the police force, who’s to say that they couldn’t spin something that would allow them to take Harlan away from her? I honestly can see a divorce between these two getting messy and none of the outcomes working in Sissy’s favor. She would have never been happy inside or outside of her marriage. But Vanya gave her the hope that she might actually find it. (IDK, I’m still really on the fence with it, and the infidelity, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy Sissy/Vanya’s cute little moments while it lasted…)

Also, can I just say, Sissy blowing the scent of coffee into Vanya’s sleeping face, was truly and utterly adorable and such a dorky thing to do and I loved it.

ALL OF THE KLAUS AND ALLISON INTERACTIONS!!!! ALL OF THEM!!!

THAT SALON SCENE!!!

THAT DANCE AT THE SALON!!!

Also, not going to lie, Odessa was a bad ass b*tch and I love and will protect that woman as much as I will love and protect Raymond Chestnut. I don’t even care that Odessa was only in a few episodes, that woman stole my damn heart and I truly would have loved to see more scenes with her and Allison and the friendship they had.

The elevator ride going up to the light supper, the freaking conch shell, and the siblings’ interactions during the whole thing (Allison rumoring Diego to punch himself, and Vanya’s cheeky “oops” after showing off her powers, just *chefs kiss*).

Ben and Vanya!!! I FORKING CRIED!!! I had to bloody pause the damn episode because my tears were getting in the way of me watching!!!! (trust me, there was a long moment of silence for Ben after that.)

All of them piling into Vanya’s car on her way to save Harlan. That entire scene was a masterpiece “Child get in the back” followed by Klaus just flopping on top of Diego and Allison, like OMG!!! And Luther… poor Luther “If I hear one fat joke, I’m out”

Everything to do with Five and Older Five was hilarious. I’m sorry call me immature, but the fart jokes were funny (even if they did start to get old after a while). Also, poor Luther, once more. We stan one lousy spotter but a brother who tried his forking best anyway.

Luther being a big (little) brother and covering Allison AND Klaus during the hail of bullets.

Klaus being observant and noting things long before anyone else. Like even at the end, when Vanya was taking her power back, everyone else was watching her but not Klaus. He kept glancing around himself while also taking in the scene periodically. There is something there, I can forking feel it. Between that pill scene in season 1, him looking up to the moon with no reason to do so, him spotting The Handler and Lila, him knowing/guessing that Lila can only mirror one power at a time—despite never actually fighting her himself—it all has to add up to something??? RIGHT???

I didn’t think I would like the Swedes… yet here I am putting them in this column. Still mad that they killed Hazel (but as Five told Lila, the job was a job, it was never anything personal). They hardly had any lines at all but their personalities alone and the little things we saw were just… what the hell but I still loved it. haha.

 I CAN”T WAIT TO SEE IF WE LEARN MORE ABOUT THE OTHER CHILDREN MYSTERIOSULY BORN!!!!! Like I wanna see the sparrow academy kids, but I hope we might learn about a few others too. Like how many of those kids didn’t make it? How many of those kids were born with a twin? Were their any triplets??? Like can you imagine that poor woman who had to give birth to not one child, but two that she didn’t have an hour ago??? (and possibly three even though I doubt there were any triplets… but what if there forking was!!!)

SPARROW BEN!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! I mean, I’m glad Justin is staying on the show, he’s awesome and I do like Ben, but I’m a bit sad that this won’t be the Ben we’ve seen in the last two seasons (I’ll still eat it up, don’t get me wrong, cause I’m curious to see this alternate Ben, but I’m still sad).

 Also that Vanya and Diego interaction at the end, neither of them having to say anything but still leaning on each other for support, just AHHHHHHHH

The sibling bonds that have begun to form between all of them is what really killed me this season and I loved each and every second of it!!!

 All the one-liners were pretty good too, like the “Ikea mafia” “Think of Batman than aim lower” “Is it too late to be un-adopted?” just efgjoiwengjowegnwrjngwe

Vanya actually using her powers to save someone, and Ben solidifying that fact by telling her she isn’t a monster. 

the music choices!!!! 

 I’m sure I will add more to all of this in another post, I’m still forking reeling over here and can’t get all of my thoughts straight, but goddamn I loved this season! Dysfunctional idiots—the lot of them. But at least they were making dysfunctional decisions together XD

Okay, now for the things I didn’t like…

Again, I’ll be brief cause I know that there are probably plenty of people who have touched on this already and I’m sure you all are sick of seeing or hearing it by now (so feel free to skip over it all together).

Klaus not telling his family SEVERAL TIMES that Ben was there.

Ben possessing Klaus without his consent (and Ben breaking the rules that Klaus had put into place as Ben nearly got frisky with Jill)---like I can’t even say I’m mad that he possessed Klaus at the light supper. I didn’t like it, it made me uncomfortable, but from Ben’s perspective I understood it. to Ben, he felt like he didn’t have a choice, Klaus had constantly taken Ben’s choice away by not telling the family he was there, so if Klaus wasn’t going to tell them on his own, Ben had no choice but to try and do it himself. I get that, I did. But the whole “Burrowed” scene in the elevator made me cringe something fierce.

The fact that we get Klaus looking badass in the first five minutes of the season, and then Klaus basically being useless the rest of the season, pissed me the ever-loving fork off. I mean, come on!!! EVERYONE ELSE FOUGHT LILA!! WHERE THE HELL WAS HE!??? I’m hoping this is all just setting Klaus up to be something greater in the next season, that maybe now that Ben is gone Klaus will have no choice but to relay on himself and tap into that “Potential” that Reginald had hinted at in season 1 (my fingers are soooo crossed that this is the case)

Not getting their reactions to Ben sacrificing himself (I needed more then just seeing Klaus lying forlornly on a bed, I’m sorry, but I definitely needed more than that). Klaus and Vanya’s interaction in the car did not make up for any of it either.

I don’t know where to put my thoughts on Lila and Diego. While I liked them in the beginning, their relationship kinda lost me the moment she spiked him and basically kidnapped him. I like Lila, don’t get me wrong, but that scene made me really uncomfortable too.

The interactions with the Handler and Five. Like okay, I get that the Handler isn’t treating him like a child because basically Five is supposed to be 58, but it’s still forking creepy to see her swaying her hips behind Five who is stuck in his 13-year-old body. Just… no.

The fact that we only see Allison mentioning her daughter 2 times. Like sure, she’s had 2 years to grieve, but I want to see that grief!!!!

How the show tied Sissy and Vanya’s story line up, and how they tied Allison and Raymond’s story line up… like nooooooo. How the hell would Sissy be safe in the past???? Carl’s brother was a forking police officer??? Does she seriously think his brother isn’t going to come after her when he learns his brother is dead????? Also how is Raymond supposed to explain that he suddenly doesn’t have a wife anymore???? These things don’t just fix themselves!!! Like I understand Five saying they couldn’t come, that it could change things beyond repair, but all seven of them existing in 1963 in the first place has already forked everything up enough as it was.

(Ignore me, I’m just salty that we won’t be get any more Raymond/Allison interactions…)

Anyway, negatives pushed aside, I can’t stress enough how i did love the season!!! And I can not wait to see where season 3 goes!!! I HONEST TO GOD CAN NOT WAIT!!! In the mean time, I will be attempting to write several things for season 2… fix-its, in between moments, whatever I can think of. Let’s see where that goes.

[valkerymillenia]

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 5

As usual I'm going to put all my reactions and live-blogging in this one post to avoid spamming.

1962, Cape Canaveral

So Pogo is from Congo?

Wait, is that Grace? is Grace some sort of biologist or scientist?

Is Pogo supposed to be one of the chimps for the space program?

I love this song. Oh look, there's Reggie!

Oh, that nod between Reggie and Grace... What are they up to?

Yep, definitely the space program.

Little astronaut Pogo... Wait, what's happening?

Who's the shady guy in the sunglasses behind Reggie?

Aww, poor Pogo...

SO THAT'S WHERE THE SERUM USED ON LUTHER CAME FROM! I figured but it's still interesting to see the origin.

Oh, there's the ancient Greek! Did Reggie read to the kids like this too? I doubt it but one can hope.

So Reggie and Grace basically treated Pogo like their child... And Reggie was actually a decent parent... ? Dude, you couldn't do that for your actual kids?!

Wait, does this make Pogo the seven's big brother? 😆

And there's the Magnificent 12. Oh, Pogo's drawing is so cute.

Five really is onto Lila... and he's right!

Diego onto Lila as well!

Hungover Klaus 😅 and Ben asking what we all want to know but it comes from a place of love and concern. Still sassy though.

Why won't Klaus just tell Allison that he is talking to Ben? Also, cowboy? Is that a comic reference? Or just a Texas reference?

Oh, I love Ben and Klaus banter. XD

Klaus does have a point, Allison.

*Allison throws the flask away* Ben: "attagirl!" Allison: "i have a blender and some much better booze" *cue Ben sulking*

"I love you so much!" Awwww, Klaus-Allison bonding! ❤️❤️❤️ this show is really giving me everything I want, huh?

Sissy and Vanya in bed together 👀😏 that's hot.

So she brought her coffee and then took the coffee away? XD

Is Vanya offering to take Sissy to the future? 👀

Oh no, Carl!

They have a point, Five. Everything starts taking apart at soon as you arrive. Repeatedly. I actually pointed this out yesterday.

You're burning the eggs, Luther.

"That boy stinks" poor Luther 🤣

Where exactly was Luther going? Chicago? Detroit?

Wait, is that the academy pre-academy? Wait, so it's not in Texas??? Then what about Argyle? What the hell? I'm so confused now. 😵

Luther, you need a bath.

Reggie in a party xD that must be an odd sight for Luther.

"The world's never going to end in such a cliché. Believe me. I know how endings feel" -what does it mean???? Does it mean he knows how the world ends? Or does it mean politically as a member of the 12? Is it a double entendre? Foreshadowing? Does he have some sort of prescient power?

Still want to know who the shady guy in the shades is.

"No, you're not" "no, you're not" "no, i didn't" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

"I have a deep dislike of children" -yeah, we been knew. 😒😒😒

"your grotesque simian proportions"??? Those are entirely your fault, Reginald! 😠

"But...i took a bus" - oh, honey... Luther, you adorable, naive, sweet, innocent, awkward little dork... Let me hug you, i don't care if you stink! 😢

Man, Reginald is still such an asshole. (I'm glad for that though, I was afraid this season would try to play the 'he wasn't really so bad, just misunderstood' card and that would piss me off, you can show him actually caring for the children but no excusing goddamn child abusers in this house!)

"At least he didn't shank my ass" "no, bro, he shanked your heart" -awww, dudebro affection. Diego does have a sensitive side!

I didn't realize i needed Luther-Diego bonding this badly but i do. I really, really, really do.

"It's time to get the umbrella academy back together." "hell yeah, family meeting." -since when is Diego so happy to get the family together? 😆

But hell yeah, let's get the family back together!!!

"you two still a thing? Do we need to talk?" (Diego's face though 🤣) "no, she's married." "Whoa, dude. That's rough."

Diego is the new Zuko, it all lines up!

"I can handle it" he nervous chuckles while stress eating in a stolen robe, after ruining his own life and getting in trouble with the mob and getting high.

"can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" - ouch 🤣

I'm loving the boys bonding.

Yikes, Sissy looks so uncomfortable with Carl...

"Harlan doesn't care" -oh, he does, he reeeeally does, you just can't read the signs, you clueless dumbass.

Oh, the powers... Oh, Harlan initiating touch with Vanya! Boy is more perceptive than they think.

Why does Sissy look so scared?

Sissy's reactions to Carl have been suspicious from the start. She's given a lot of red flags (the anxiety, the body language, the hoarding money in secret, the reluctance to speak up, the desperation to keep Vanya near her at all times, etc) and I've wondered if he's been abusive but he seems more pathetic than purposely malicious, he even showed vulnerability and admited to loving her and fearing that she doesn't feel the same, so I was starting to think Sissy's fear and paranoia had more to do with a fear of Carl leaving her (and thus taking away the only income and leaving her and Harlan with nothing).

However, I'm rethinking things and I'm starting to suspect abuse again (at least psychological, if not physical)... I think the only reason we don't see it yet is because Vanya is there and Carl won't act out on front of a witness.

I could totally be wrong though, I could be seeing signs that aren't there because of my own issues. We'll see.

Is... Is Handler actually a good mother?

Nevermind, she's gaslighting.

But she cares enough to give first aid and admit she lied so... Definitely a better parent than Reginald at least. I actually want her to be a decent parent, I'm tired of the narrative where villains all have to be abusive parents, villains can love too and that makes the story so much more complex and dramatic when people finally have to choose sides.

Felt, Diego's knife... what is she up to?

Sandpaper, steel wool, round metal parts, skewers, spray lubricant, and something cylindrical with the name of a plumbing service? Is she making pneumatic canisters? The ones the Commission uses to send messages?

Also, what's with Commission training and using plumber stuff? Five also used a plumbing company's van in season 1.

Elliot really likes Jell-O, huh? Very 50s housewife of him.

"how are feeling?" "Pretty shitty, to be honest" "Where would you say you are on a scale from one to ending all life on this planet?" 🤣🤣🤣 They are never going to let her live this down, are they?

I need more Vanya-Diego bonding. ❤️

Diego accepted Vanya's apology???😲 AWWWWWWWW 🥰🥰🥰🥰

Diego about to ask girl advice from his sister? So cute, why did they interrupt, I wanted to see that! 🥰

I miss Diego's nervous stutter though.

"you don't speak French" -doesn't he? If Allison can read seven languages, logically so can all the others, right? And Klaus is constantly using French and German, how are you telling me he doesn't know French? 😆

"did we all get sexier?" -pretty much and you're not done yet.

Aww, awkward Vanya-Allison hug... Let them bond! 💖💖💖

Klaus and Diego hugging!!! And Diego calling him out on being drunk like the overprotective brother he is 💖💖💖

Klaus hugging the girls! 💖💖💖

So much love. So much growth since all the bitterness from season 1. I NEED MORE OF THIS, DAMN IT!

Who knew it took Vanya snapping and killing everyone for this family to finally bond?

OH COME ON, KLAUS! Just tell them poor Ben is there, that's so mean.

Ah! Allison and Diego with pure sibling banter. 💖

What is with the Handler family and red shoes?

Handler's style changed a bit, went from retro femme fatale on s1 to matronly debutante in s2... Interesting.

Don't hurt the kitty, you bitch! 😡

The Swedes have become crazy cat people. I'm starting to love these weirdos.

Is that their mama?

Pneumatic tube! CALLED IT!

Ah, I see. That's why she wanted Diego's knife. The Swedes are getting set up.

"oh my God, again?" ... "all of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-- oh, my God. My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five, I told them we had until 2019!" -that's why you're the last one, Klaus, your priorities.

"is it Vanya?" "Klaus!" "What? It's usually Vanya." - one time. you end the world ONE TIME and nobody ever let's you live it down.

"find dad" "kill dad" -well, Diego learned from Five *shrugs*

"has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" -literally everyone except you, Vanya.

( well, unless saving Harlan with your magic lights messed up the timeline...)

Yup, here they go calling each other out. Hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

"THANK you" - I love Ben 💙

Diego, you idiot, saving Kennedy is what wrecks everything! Stop being stubborn.

Aww, traumatized Five... Please just listen to him, he just wants to save you all because he loves you 😢

Five deserves more love from the family. PLEASE.

Wow, Luther is reeeeally bitter about daddy, huh? What is Lila doing?

"I've missed you all... So much" BEN! 😭😭😭😭😭

Ok, now I'm crying.

Klaus, let your brother talk to the rest of the damn family, he misses them! 😭😭😭😭

Yay, more Luther-Diego bonding!

"since the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance" -I'm so glad he owns up to this, it's very important but he needs to get over his self-hate and gain some confidence again.

Diego, stop acting like you don't have daddy issues, you are riddled with them.

Diego's hero complex again... Which comes from the daddy issues. Luther is right.

"you are so goddamn big that sometimes I forget what a sensitive bastard you are." 🤣🤣🤣 He's absolutely right!

Brotherly bonding ftw!

Oh, they got daddy's attention!

AHAHAH! Allison bitching and rambling while doing Klaus's hair, Vanya miming shooting the bottles ("pew pew" 🤣). I'm sorry but this whole scene is adorable as fuck.

Girl's day!

"wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" 🤣🤣🤣 Klaus asking the real important questions here!

Vanya confused by the Luther/Allison crush 🤣 "aren't we all related?"' -yes, honey, that's why it's weird.

"if you have to use the word 'technically' you're already in trouble" -THANK YOU, KLAUS!

Klaus's ENTIRE speech about their love lives is the most perfect thing EVER 🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌💯💯💯

Really alarmed Vanya finding out she dated a serial killer: "what?!" / Allison, whispering casually: "Later." 🤣

"the healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin." 😂😂😂😂😂 The best part is- HE'S NOT WRONG

Vanya's weirded out face is priceless 👌👌👌

"the only thing the umbrella academy knows about love is how to screw it up" "cheers!" 💯👏👏👏

These babies really need a hug. Let me hug them!

"how do you guys deal with this?" -look at them Vanya, they day drink.

"well, I get reeeeally high, Allison... Allison... Lies to herself. And you supress all your emotions deep, deep down until you... Blow shit up." -Klaus really is serving up all the wisdom in this little outing, isn't he? Maybe being a cult leader actually did him some good? Or maybe it's just that his family is FINALLY listening to him.

"yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore" 😂 -ah! Is Vanya graduating out of the awkward dork sibling category and into the sassy queen one?

Omg, the drunk decisions...

"I just hate group backups, that's why I stopped dating twins" 😆😆😆😆

"this family is amazing" - DAMN RIGHT, VANYA! ❤️🧡💛💚💚💙💜

Awww, the HUG! The DANCING! MY BABIES! Fav scene, fav scene!

I want to adopt this family so bad.

And here's the Swedes being set up...

There goes baby Swede! I kinda feel bad for them.

Uh oh, now they want revenge of poor Diego.

Gotta hand it to Handler, she played this one very well. Parallels Five tricking Hazel and Cha-Cha into fighting each other in season 1. Very cool.

BAD GUY! I like this version better than the original, great song and fits Lila perfectly.

Holy shit!!!!!!!!! We all knew Five had moves but THESE MOVES!!!!!! 😲

How did Lila do that? Is it with Handler's time stopping thing? I always wondered how she did that too.

Holy shiiiiiiiiit. This whole fight was FANTASTIC! 😲

Oh Vanya... 😢

Oh Sissy... 😩

Sissy has been so desperate to keep Vanya tied to her but the moment Vanya asks her to make the slightest sacrifice for their relationship Sissy balks and pulls away... Not a balanced relationship at all.

I understand Sissy's fear, it's not selfishness, it's literal fear of change, but it's still sad and it's going to wreck them.

Oh, so this is where the swedish cover of "Hello" comes in... Very fitting.

Viking funeral, huh?

Ok, I never thought I'd have feels for the Swedes but I do. 😢

Luther eating AGAIN. But hey, he and Diego didn't the whole day together! Why can't we see that too? I need more brother time between these two.

Oh Klaus, is so uncomfortable but he can't stand disappointing the cultists, can he?

Still shocks me how all those people just invaded his house while he was away and thought that was perfectly acceptable and cool, it shows they really don't respect him as a person, he's just an object to make them feel better and give them purpose... It's terrifying and really sad when you think about it.

"sit your ass down." -you go, Allison! Tell him everything!

This episode gave me SO MANY FEELINGS! It might read like (extremely good) fanfiction but it's exactly what we all needed and it might be my favorite episode so far.

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1974

Under the cut.

Steve Miller Band – “The Joker” -- January 12, 1974

It always throws me when I remember how old this song is. Two years older than me, and yet I associate it with my own mid-20s partying. Okay, my "partying" was pretty mild. One of the things my friends and I often did was go to a dueling piano (really keyboard) bar, and they always played this song. I can taste the rum and Coke now. We had tipsy discussions about what "pompatus" meant. A guy tried to pick one of my friends up with "really love your peaches." Anyway, I love this song, but it's also so embedded into my life that I can't judge it fairly.

Al Wilson – “Show And Tell” -- January 19, 1974

1970s Philly R&B is great music. This is a pretty typical example of the genre; lots of strings, lots of horns, an adult with a voice he uses like an instrument to impart strong emotions. It's a love song, and the lyrics aren't anything spectacular, but they do the job. Very good.

Ringo Starr – “You’re Sixteen” -- January 26, 1974

GAH. Next!

Barbra Streisand – “The Way We Were” -- February 2, 1974

I was tempted to write, "GAH. Next!" here too, but I'm determined to save that kind of thing for songs that have elements to them that I don't want to discuss because of moral issues. That's not this. The problem is: I hate Barbra Streisand. Or I should say I hate her singing; though from what I've seen of her personality, I don't like that either. Every song she sings, she sounds like she's singing to the glory of the greatness of the only person who matters to her in the world: Barbra Streisand. I once read an article that called her singing "masturbatory," but that's not strong enough. It's full-on self-worship. I hate it.

The Love Unlimited Orchestra – “Love’s Theme” -- February 9, 1974

This is Barry White's orchestra, but sadly it's an instrumental, without his glorious voice. It reminds me so much of the Love Boat theme that now I'm wanting to watch it. Absolute kitsch, but as kitsch goes, there's worse.

Terry Jacks – “Seasons In The Sun” -- March 2, 1974

The singer is dying and saying goodbye to everyone. That kind of sentiment may be made to work in pop, I suppose, but I've never heard it done. It belongs in opera. This is schmaltz.

Cher – “Dark Lady” -- March 23, 1974

As one of only a couple dark-haired dark-eyed girls in my quite blonde high school graduating class, people used to call me "exotic." Apparently my high cheekbones had something to do with it too. I was asked where my family was from pretty regularly. I wasn't offended --  more bemused. The answer is "Europe," though I guess the dark hair and eyes are probably by way of France. It's rather tough to say, considering my mother's side of the family has been here since the 16th century (indentured servants), and were not the rich types who stuck to their own ethnicity. Anyway, this is to say that I feel some kinship with Cher, and how drawn she was to songs like "Dark Lady." Though in this case, the "dark lady" is someone Cher's character murders for cheating with her boyfriend. She kills the boyfriend too.

This song is dated ("gypsy music") Las Vegas cheese, and yet I like it. It's wildly melodramatic and fun.

John Denver – “Sunshine On My Shoulders” -- March 30, 1974

Bleeeeeh. I like big melodramatic songs. This is the opposite. Now, I do like small, sweet songs often too. But I just can't with this one. It's too slow, too simple, and feels aggressively, shallowly cheery.

Blue Swede – “Hooked On A Feeling” -- April 6, 1974

I learned from the Todd in the Shadows video about this song that its stupid "ooga chaka" thing was inspired by 1960's "Running Bear." Now I hate it even more! The original of this song is a nice, simple love song. Blue Swede made it shouty and dumb.

Elton John – “Bennie And The Jets” -- April 13, 1974

It's Elton John. Therefore I don't like it. I feel like it's too slow maybe? I feel like most of Elton John's songs are too slow maybe. I don't know. I'm bored.

MFSB & The Three Degrees’ “TSOP (The Sound Of Philadelphia)” -- April 20, 1974

An instrumental disco track. It is one I find danceable, so there's that. Not bad.

Grand Funk – “The Loco-Motion” -- May 4, 1974

A rock cover of The Loco-Motion. Sure, why not. Though this version is not very good. It feels like they slowed it down, and they definitely made it extremely loud. I don't really see a reason for this song to exist.

Ray Stevens – “The Streak” -- May 18, 1974

Streaking was a fad in 1974. This is a comedy song about it. I had never heard it before this, and I hope never to again. It's deeply dumb.

Paul McCartney & Wings – “Band On The Run” -- June 8, 1974

The wee-oo-wee-oo-wee-oo thing at the beginning of the song sounds neat, but then it goes on too long. That's my feeling about this entire song: It goes on too long. It does change up substantially multiple times throughout, but it's no Bohemian Rhapsody. Bohemian Rhapsody is, imo, perfect. The pacing of "Band on the Run," otoh, is a mess. The second section needs to be a lot longer and the final section needs to be a lot shorter. Paul McCartney needed an editor for this.

Bo Donaldson And The Heywoods – “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero” -- June 15, 1974

A young woman tells her boyfriend to not "be a hero" when he goes off to war (probably the Civil War.) Because she wants him to come home alive. As anyone who knows this kind of song can predict, he decides to be a hero and dies. Cliche and weirdly bouncy for the subject matter. Still, at least songs were acknowledging that dying in war was not a great thing. Unlike the putrescent "Ballad of the Green Berets."

Gordon Lightfoot – “Sundown” -- June 29, 1974

The singer is jealously obsessed with a woman. He knows this isn't a good thing, but he doesn't seem able to -- or be trying to -- move past it. This is about something real; Gordon Lightfoot was obsessively, violently jealous over Cathy Smith, the woman who was later convicted for injecting John Belushi with the heroin that killed him. The lyrics are mean, but the music doesn't go hard at all. Except, compared to the rest of the stuff I've looked at for 1974 so far, the music does sound a lot harder -- it's minor key and there's a distinct bassline. It still feels like a mismatch.

The Hues Corporation – “Rock The Boat” -- July 6, 1974

A disco song I can dance to some. Not entirely. It's a song asking you not to "rock the boat" of your perfect love with the singer. It's incredibly schmaltzy -- schmaltzy disco. Ugh.

George McCrae – “Rock Your Baby” -- July 13, 1974

The singer is telling you, "woman," to take him in your arms and rock him. I.e. fuck him. I have perfect pitch. George McCrae is no Ella Fitzgerald. When he goes to the high note, he does not hit it right, and it's like nails on a chalkboard. I can't listen to this song all the way through.

John Denver – “Annie’s Song” -- July 27, 1974

Ugh, 1974. This is a simplistic love song to John Denver's wife. Not just simple, which is fine, but simplistic, which is not. They divorced years later, and Denver became violent during it. (Denver's the one who brought that to light and he obviously felt terrible about it.) The Stereogum guy was shocked by this. I'm not. For one, celebrity is horrible for people. For another, I can't think of any of Denver's songs that have depth or complexity. Trying to live at the surface is also horrible for people. I do like a lot of simple love songs, but John Denver's songs have always made me go "ick," even when I was a child. I feel like there's nothing in them.

Roberta Flack – “Feel Like Makin’ Love” -- August 10, 1974

The music to this song, with the calm but interesting percussion and romantic guitar, combined with Roberta Flack's whispery vocals, is lovely. It gives me asmr feels and makes me want to lie down and drift off to sleep. So, uh. Not exactly what I consider a sexy song. I do like listening to it, as it's nice and calming, but I don't think that was the intent.

Paper Lace – “The Night Chicago Died” -- August 17, 1974

And I will definitely need some relaxation after this garbage. Okay so, this travesty was by Brits who: 1) Thought there was an East Side of Chicago. That's Lake Michigan. 2) Thought it would be cute to write a song in which Al Capone tried to literally take over Chicago by killing all the cops (he bribed cops, he didn't kill them, and he was a criminal, not an insurrectionary.) 3) Sing "glory be" because they obviously think that's a super American thing to do. "In the land of the dollar bill." WHAT? This song makes me want to punt Paper Lace into the East Side of Chicago.

Paul Anka – “(You’re) Having My Baby” -- August 24, 1974

Notoriously one of the worst pop songs ever. The singer thinks "you" (that makes it worse) are having his baby solely and only because you love him. Monumental narcissism, just completely heinous, plus it's musical glop.

Eric Clapton – “I Shot The Sheriff” -- September 14, 1974

This is not Bob Marley's version. Bob Marley's version is so much better, and it's the one I've heard a lot, so when I turned this one on I was confused for a second.

Barry White – “Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe” -- September 21, 1974

Oh thank god. Barry White is one of my favorite singers, and this is one of my favorite songs. This is a sexy love song by a great artist.

Andy Kim – “Rock Me Gently” -- September 28, 1974

Andy Kim's voice sounds incredibly mid-70s. What's with men asking their lovers to rock them this year? The chorus is pretty good, and has a real beat. He's asking his lover to be gentle, and "I have never been loved like this before." That's nice. It's cheese, but it's fine.

Olivia Newton-John – “I Honestly Love You” -- October 5, 1974

A lot of the time when someone says they "honestly" something without prompting, they're lying. So this song sounds weird to me. "I love you/ I honestly love you" -- um, you sure about that? Though the singer has no reason to pretend she loves the person she's singing to, and every reason not to, since they're both with someone else. She just wants to tell you she loves you and leave it at that. Yeah, that's likely. Olivia Newton-John is a good singer, and she's especially good at acting a song. I feel she should have been on Broadway. In any case, while this is a slow soft song in an era with way too many of those, it's one of the better ones. It's not overly slow or particularly goopy.

Billy Preston – “Nothing From Nothing” -- October 19, 1974

If there's such a thing as vaudeville rock, this is it. He doesn't want to be your hero or your highness, so it sounds like he wants an equal relationship. He also says "I'm a soldier in the war on poverty," which makes it sounds like he's saying you have to have money if you want to get with him, but maybe not. He sings "you gotta bring a little something, girl, if you want to be with me," which may or may not be monetary. It's bouncy and all, but Billy Preston's done better.

Dionne Warwick & The Spinners – “Then Came You” -- October 26, 1974

A song about finally finding love. Plenty of good orchestration, a good beat, and of course Dionne Warwick's voice. I like it.

Stevie Wonder – “You Haven’t Done Nothin'” -- November 2, 1974

The "you" in this song is Richard Nixon. Stevie Wonder is one of the most love everyone, let's all come together artists in existence. But here, he was angry. "We would not care to wake up to the nightmare/ That's becoming real life/ But when misled who knows a person's mind/ Can turn as cold as ice." The Republican Party is still Nixon's party -- they love him almost as much as they do Reagan. This song is funky and good and the only reason I don't feel it more is that it's not angry enough.

Bachman-Turner Overdrive – “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” -- November 9, 1974

They were goofing around in the studio, and lead singer Randy Bachman wanted to make fun of his brother's stutter. When this song became a hit, Randy was mortified. But even with nasty, juvenile intentions behind it, this song is good. It also sounds happy and not mean at all. It's a rather silly song about first experiencing sex, and it's fun.

John Lennon – “Whatever Gets You Thru The Night” -- November 16, 1974

John Lennon's voice was always kinda nasal, but it's really nasal on this song. Anyway, this song may as well be called "you do you." It's a song that in theory I should not find boring, but in practice I do. I have finally found out why: Elton John helped him with it. It sounds very Elton John-ish. Which means I don't really have anything else to say.

Billy Swan – “I Can Help” -- November 23, 1974

Some old-fashioned rockability is a nice change. The singer sees that the woman needs some help, so "let me help." "I got two strong arms/ Let me help." I immediately think of a romance between a farmhand and a widow woman. "It would sure do me good to do you good." That's a pretty concise description of love. Billy Swain's voice is kinda thin; Elvis did a cover of this, and it's a lot better. Billy Swain's version is sweet and all, but Elvis' is irresistible.

Carl Douglas – “Kung Fu Fighting” -- December 7, 1974

This isn't a song about actual kung fu; it's about kung fu movies. It's a fanboy telling you all about the cool movie he just saw, though not telling you a thing about the plot. Just the "expert timing" and stuff. Trying to analyze "Kung Fu Fighting" feels really silly. It's a rare enjoyable novelty song by an actual musician.

Harry Chapin – “Cat’s In The Cradle” -- December 21, 1974

A cover of this song by Ugly Kid Joe became a hit in 1992. And it was massively overplayed, so I hate this song. This father/son stuff bores me anyway, speaking of overplayed.

Helen Reddy – “Angie Baby” -- December 28, 1974

This song is deeply strange, which is a mark in its favor. It's a story song about a girl who has no friends and had to be taken out of school because she's "a little touched." She lives in a world of make-believe, listening to the radio all the time. A neighbor boy comes along to rape her. But as soon as he walks into her room... "Toward the radio he's bound/ Never to be found." He becomes her "secret lover," trapped in the radio. "It's so nice to be insane/ No one asks you to explain." Is Angie really "insane," or is she a sorceress whose rock n' roll powers everyone looks away from? Both? I'm not sure what I think of this song, but it is interesting, and that's always good.

BEST OF 1974 -- "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe" by Barry White WORST OF 1974 -- "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka

[bouttogolinkurbitch]

Home for the Holidays: Ilya Fedorovich

Sorry for errors bubbies!! My first vlogsquad imagine so be nice lmao enjoy 

"Alright, guys, usually when I pause mid video I have a surprise. So, you've seen me surprise my friends with cars, animals, celebrities, and money. And today I'm surprising Ilya with a girl. Not just any girl, this is Y/N." David turned his camera on my and I smiled as I waved. "Tell them who you are!" I giggled before David laughed too and we moved to the couch.

"Uh, I'm Y/N. I live in Vernon Hills, and I'm Ilya's girlfriend." I said before David laughed at my awkwardness. I rolled my eyes before he spoke, "Y/N was supposed to fly out with Ilya for Christmas and stay into the new year, but she had to work- that is until her boss gave her time off. I paid for her to fly out and now we're going to surprise Ilya!" I nodded as Natalie slid into frame.

"As a distraction, Natalie is going to take Ilya with her to go get some things for a bit I need to film. While they're gone, Y/N and I are going to change my house around and finally, she'll come out of my room." Natalie nodded as I smiled and looked to David, "He'll have to dress nice so make sure to hide all his gym shorts and tee shirts." Natalie and David both laughed.

I sat on Natalie's bed as I listened to her and David try to persuade Ilya to go out with Natalie. "Bro, just go. It's a dangerous part of town and Natalie is nervous about going alone." David tried to rationalize. I could hear Ilya's heavy footsteps as he walked around David's living room. "Just a quick trip! In and out!" Natalie said, and David giggled. "You sound like you're going to rob a bank." I rolled my eyes and strained to listen.

I could hear Ilya sigh before he spoke finally, "I would be a bad friend if I made Nat go alone. But I'm driving the Tesla!" He said with a laugh before I heard David suck in through his teeth. "Actually I'm gonna stay here. I'm pulling a prank on Jonah later, which is what you're getting props for, and I need to set up. Ilya, I need you to buy a suit and wear it home for the bit."

I looked up as David opened the door, "Show time, Y/N." I stood and walked out with him before we started cleaning up the house. Joe was playing music off the tv as he, David, Todd, Zane, and I started cleaning. I helped move the table closer to the windows to give perfect sunlight lighting as David hired a caterer. Zane and Todd were pouring wine and setting the table with plates, spoons, forks, and knives. I sat beside Joe once I had finished my part before I helped him make a slideshow of Ilya and I.

"This is so cute." Todd said as he watched over the edge of the couch. "What's with the slideshow?" Zane asked as he joined Todd. I turned and smiled, "For Christmas, when we weren't with our families or David's, the only gift I really gave him was sex." They laughed before Todd clapped his hand on my shoulder, "That sounds like the perfect gift." I snorted as David recorded the moment. Joe drew my attention back to him when he started adding music behind the video. It was The Last Of The Real Ones, which made David happy. I nodded to Joe as he finished up the slideshow.

I was ushered by Carly and Erin, Corinna, and Suzy into Natalie's bedroom. I was placed in a chair as Suzy started my makeup. Corinna was putting my hair in a more styled manor than the lazy braid I had it in all day. As they worked on my appearance, Carly and Erin chose a nice outfit from my suitcase. All the while, I was texting back and forth with Natalie with updates.

She said Ilya had started off their journey by pouting and complaining about how much he missed me. He and I had traded texts back and forth throughout the day, and I was hoping that he couldn't sense my anxieties about this surprise. He had asked if I was doing okay, and I said yes, but in all honesty, I was afraid. Afraid he wouldn't be surprised at all.

As Suzy was blending the eye shadow against my lid, my phone began to vibrate. I lifted it to see Ilya wanted to Face Time. "Accept it or he'll be suspicious." Corinna whispered before she slid her finger across my screen and she moved out of the camera shot. All the girls moved away and were quiet as he connected. "Let me see your beautiful face, baby." He whined and I laughed softly.

"Hello to you too, my love. You doin' okay?" I asked, keeping my camera on the bed, leaving the screen black. "I'm just running around with Nat. Jonah is gonna get pranked later, so expect some snaps of that." I smiled, "Noted. So I take it you're either bored waiting on Nat to finish up in a store, or you just miss me dearly." I said as I bit my lip.

All the girls listened as he laughed, "Both, definitely both. You sure you can't get your dumbass boss to change his mind and let you go? I'll pay for your ticket." Erin smiled and awed silently as I blushed. "Nah he won't budge, but it's okay babe. I'll see you soon enough. Bed's awful lonely without you taking up all the room." He snorted and rubbed his eyes before he yawned. I pouted as I watched him before he let out a loud groan.

"Show me your cute face, baby. Maybe send me some pics so I have something to hold me over until I land in Chicago." I laughed this time, "No can do, big guy. I got a facemask on and I know your bitchass will screenshot that. Enjoy your time in the sunshine state. I love you, Ilya." He sighed and made a kissing face at the camera, "Love you too princess, don't get too lonely without me." He winked before he hung up and all the girls let out breaths.

"That's seriously so cute, Y/N." Carly said as she held up a silky red dress. "The dress and yours and Ilya's relationship." I laughed before I stood and went to change. Corinna let me borrow some black swede heels that had gold chrome straps. I turned and started to change as all the girls cleaned up Natalie's room. "We'll leave so you can finish up changing. Come out and show everyone when you're done." Suzy said as she and the other girls left.

Once I was alone, I stripped myself of my bra before I slid on the silk dress. I kept my thong on underneath, knowing subconsciously that it would no longer be there later tonight. After putting on the shoes, I twirled in front of the mirror and smiled. I cracked the door open, "I'm coming out so cover your eyes!" It was quiet for a few minutes before David yelled at me to come out.

The sound of the heels echoed off the walls before I stopped. "Holy shit!" David said as he recorded me doing a spin. Everyone started applauding before David's phone buzzed. "Natalie says they're pulling up in five minutes! Get back in the room." I nodded to David before I went back into Natalie's room.

Everyone stayed around because they would be pranking Ilya with Jonah first. I listened as he came in with Natalie. I heard her coming down the hall before she slipped in and smiled. "You look killer, Y/N. Go knock 'em dead." I smiled widely and hugged her before we could hear laughter. "What the fuck!" Ilya yelled and then it quieted down. Natalie left her room, leaving her door opened a bit so I could just come out.

"Okay, Ilya, I need you to put on this satin bed mask. Sit here, right, and Jonah is going to come down the hall. He needs to put on heels so he's gonna borrow some of Natalie's and come out." I heard Ilya agree and I sighed as I smoothed my hands down the dress. Jonah came in and smiled before he kissed my cheek lightly, "You look stunning." We both waited together until David yelled for Jonah, which was my que.

For the second time, my footsteps echoed as I moved my way across David's living room. "I'll tell you when to take it off, Ilya." David said as he got close to us. I sat in the stool before I positioned myself, grabbing the glass of wine. As I took a sip, I winked to David and he nodded. "Off." Everyone got super quiet as he pulled the mask off and froze.

His eyes widened and he smiled, "Holy shit!" I swallowed my sip of wine before I laughed. He stood and walked to my seat before he hugged me tightly. The group awed as he kissed my cheek repeatedly. "Missed you so much, munchie." I felt my cheeks heat up as I pulled him back a bit, "I missed you too, my love." He smiled before I connected our lips.  Everyone cheered around us before he lifted me off the stool and brought me into his arms. I felt him breathe in deeply against my skin before he left a light kiss there. I smiled and scratched at the hairs that curled against his neck and shirt, "Missed you sweet boy."

[okietokiee]

bevisa det (prove it) 2/2

Ahh sorry this took a while to post! I wrote this a while ago and forgot about it LOL Thank you @lillyflover for reminding me about this story! I’m happy people like my lame, completely self-indulgent fic about my favorite Toki hc ;;;^)

Chapter 1

Summary: (post-Fertilityklok) Skwisgaar is livid about Toki’s seemingly insatiable sexual appetite. He can’t quite wrap his mind around stupid, childish Toki making his way through that many ladies in one fucking night. Toki proves him wrong.

Rating: E 

Chapters: 2/2

Pairings: Skwisgaar Skwigelf/Toki Wartooth

The kiss didn’t last nearly long enough to satisfy someone with Skwisgaar’s penchant for indulgence, but it was enough to get the ball rolling. 

The moment the two guitarists separated, Toki’s heated glare and Skwisgaar’s smug smirk sealed the deal. 

Toki wasted no time pushing Skwisgaar to sit on the edge of the table, taking a hold of his hips, and smashing their mouths back together, their tongues in a desperate dance for dominance. Skwisgaar wrapped his arms around Toki’s neck, playfully pulling his soft locks. 

“I... I fuckin hates you Skwisgaar...” Toki gasped after separating, with a flushed face and eyes that said the opposite. 

Skwisgaar smirked. “I knows Toki,” he emphasized with a moan, rubbing his clothed erection against Toki’s. 

“Why yous gots to be such pissy bitch and gets Toki like dis? Fuckings tease.” Toki groaned, reciprocating Skwisgaar’s movements. 

“What’s, you thinks I won’ts go through with dis? I bet yous I is betters dan all does ladies combined little Toki,” the Swede declared proudly. 

Toki burst out laughing. 

Skwisgaar glared, letting go of Toki to cross his arms. “What’s so funnies?”

“It’s just, is that why yous so angry dis morning? Because I’m getting luckies with the ladies?” Toki chuckled. “Yous so cute Skwisgaar. Don’ts worry your pretty blondes head, dere’s enough Toki to go around,” Toki said gleefully, grabbing a solid hold of Skwisgaar’s thighs and hoisting him up. 

Skwisgaar was livid and embarrassed to Hell. “That’s nots it’s- Ams just- Fucks yous-“ he stumbled with his words even more than usual, glaring at Toki and blushing beet red. 

He didn’t even get a chance to finish his thought before Toki replied with a cheery “Okie doke!” as he took hold of his thighs and hoisted him up, Skwisgaar instinctively wrapping his long legs around his waist in a front-style piggy back ride. 

“What’s the fucks Toki!?” Skwisgaar exclaimed, wrapping his arms around Toki’s neck again to regain his balance as Toki seemed to effortlessly lift 6’4” worth of Swedish guitar player. 

They pair made a comical sight, a tall, angry Swede being carried like a toddler by a buff, smug looking Norwegian. 

But luckily no band members were present to witness this spectacle, and the Klokateers knew better than to interfere with their boss’ activities for fear of literal death. 

And Skwisgaar didn’t want to openly show either approval nor disapproval for what Toki planned to do to him, but his blushing face resting comfortably on Toki’s shoulder and the way he was obviously trying to stop himself from smiling said it all.  

“Toki takes you to yous room, shows you a real goods time ja?” Toki whispered softly into his ear, making Skwisgaar shiver with anticipation. 

Once they arrived in Skwisgaar’s modern sanctuary, Toki dramatically slammed the door shut and tossed Skwisgaar onto the bed, gleefully jumping in right after him and smothering him with another hot kiss. 

Skwisgaar smiled as Toki took hold of his shirt and took it off him mid-kiss, likely tired of being the only one half-naked for so long. 

Skwisgaar moaned as Toki started to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants, roughly pulling them off and throwing them wherever. 

He gave Skwisgaar’s lithe body a long, fervid stare, his cheeks reddening. 

“Likes what’s you sees?” Skwisgaar chuckled, grabbing his own erection and giving it a stroke. 

Toki responded by kissing him again, replacing Skwisgaar’s hand with his own and stroking the Swede in all the right ways. 

“You haves-“

“Ja, on the rights, under de beds.”

Toki wasted no time retrieving the lube and squeezing a generous amount into his hand. He then went back to sloppily kissing Skwisgaar while slipping a finger carefully in, and gradually adding another until he was at three fingers and the Swede was a flushed, moaning mess. 

Skwisgaar groaned as Toki withdrew his fingers and took a moment too long to get out of his flannel pajamas, finally freeing Not-So-Little Toki to the world, and put on a condom. 

“Hurries up dildo!” 

“Uh-uh Skwisgaar, didn’ts you knows you gots to take yous time to please de ladies?” Toki smirked. 

Skwisgaar fumed, but had no time to think of a snarky reply before Toki lifted the Swede’s surprisingly limber legs up onto his broad, fit shoulders and aligned his erection with Skwisgaar’s entrance. 

“Tells me ifs I tickles you,” Toki said playfully with a wink, thrusting in completely. 

Skwisgaar had no time to even contemplate why that line sounded familiar before he was a moaning mess at the mercy of Toki’s brutal pace. 

Skwisgaar was beginning to see how it was possible for Toki to pleasure the seemingly endless line of women the other night. 

He found Skwisgaar’s prostate in no time at all, making sure to hit it at every thrust. His pace was fast, hard, and dirty, his occasional moan and the sweat glistening over his abs the only signs of his physical exertion. 

And Skwisgaar made it his mission to keep up and meet Toki thrust for thrust, feeling the most intense, fiery pleasure he’d ever felt in his life. 

“Ja! Toki!” Skwisgaar cried, “I’m sos close!”

Toki grinned smugly, increasing his pace impossibly more and roughly hitting the Swede’s prostate over and over again, until he came with a cry. 

But the Swede finishing did nothing to deter Toki, and before he knew it Toki had sat back, pulling the Swede with him until they were in a position with Skwisgaar’s leg around him and his hands on his hips. 

“Now it’s Toki’s turns to sit back and relax,” he winked, giving Skwisgaar’s ass a playful slap for emphasis. 

“Fucks you!” Skwisgaar exclaimed out and glared, his cheeks (both) a perpetual shade of red. 

But despite his anger, he settled himself in Toki’s lap and took Toki’s still long, hard (What’s de fuck?!) problem all the way in. 

Skwisgaar, not wanting to be shown up, showed no mercy and went with a pace just as dirty and brutal as Toki’s. 

“Ah, Skwisgaar,” Toki moaned, his hands having a tight hold on the Swede’s hips as he thrust up. “I’m comins!”

Skwisgaar just kept going, squeezing every last drop out of him as his partner started blabbering in a dazed out mixture of Norwegian and broken English. 

They were breathing as if they’d run a marathon by the end of it, and they settled and held each other despite how wet and sticky they both were. 

“Yous were rights Skwisgaar...” Toki said sweetly, his head resting on Skwisgaar’s chest. 

“Ja... of course I ams... about what’s dis time?” He responded absently, twirling Toki’s locks around his fingers. 

Toki looked up and gave him a dazzling smile. “About being betters dan all dose goyles combined!” He exclaimed. “And Toki’s ready for yous to be rights again!” He smirked this time, starting a trail of sweet kisses down from Skwisgaar’s neck to his lower regions. 

And Skwisgaar learned exactly, in detail, why it took so many ladies to satisfy this beast. 

---

sorry for weird mistakes! I wrote this on my phone lmao 

[eurosong]

Undo my ESC - 2019, SF1

Hello there, folks, and welcome to the first part of Undo my ESC, where I take a look at the field this year and, for each country, make a feasible change – as small as, for example, minor tinkerings with the staging, or as big as a different song completely winning a national final. It’s all light-hearted and just my opinion, of course. Allons-y... Cyprus: We start off completely in the deep end. I loathe “Fuego”, and this repackaged Fue2.0 is no better and is indeed perhaps worse to me given that I hate desperate attempts to catch lightning in the same jar. I also find Tamta a very unsympathetic character. I don’t know what I’d do to improve this, other than replace the internal selection with a national final with some songs actually in Greek and with local character. Montenegro: Things do not improve... but at least the solution is easier! Montenegro had a decent national final in which literally any other song would have been a better choice. I particularly liked “Nevinost”, and so did the unfortunately out-voted expert jury, so would be tempted to give D mol’s ticket to Tel Aviv to its artist, Ivana Popović, instead. I do find D mol to be sweet kids though, so the other part of me would be sad to rob them of their time in the limelight and would instead have taken the 90s throwback and bizarre random background sound elements out of their song, replaced the score with one that emphasised the traditional musical elements, and kept the lyrics in Montenegrin.

Finland: Three strikes and I am almost out. I really struggle with the new UMK format – I understand the logic behind it, just as I did when it was a thing in the UK in the early 90s, but I think it only really works if an artist has a wide-ranging repertoire. If not, then you end up with 3 samey songs that only appeal to people who like the music styles that artist makes. I’m not an EDM fan and I would have taken the relative flop of Saara Aalto last year as indication to return to a multi-artist UMK. Plenty of artists from previous years who could be worth a spot in one such.

Poland: I was disappointed by the disappearance of Poland’s national final, but I can’t say I was too surprised after a few underperforming years. I have to commend the Polish broadcasters for going for something popular within their own country, without being overly preöccupied as to how it would play outwith their borders. Pali się is one of those entries that I don’t like much but which I respect. My changes would be to remove the pointless English intro and outro, which, if one were not paying attention, one might not notice actually being in English. I’d also try to make the song a little less linear, as the song feels mostly confined to one pace.

Slovenia: Finally, we come to a country where I can change next to nothing. Many people I know were disappointed that “Kaos” was not elected as the Slovenes’ song. Whilst I found it an earworm, I really didn’t like her haughty, “I’m only in EMA to promote my new disc” attitude – and I really preferred the delectable, contemplative and intimate “Sebi.” It’s pure elegance in simplicity, and I wouldn’t need to change a thing.

Czechia: I appreciate the Czechs’ creätive way of bypassing the expenses of a traditional national final – whilst still giving fans a choice – by holding their selection online. Really cute this year was the way they tried to equalise differences in funding by making the candidates’ official video be a low-budget affair filmed in their flats. I liked quite a few songs of their selection, with the eventual winner, “Friend of a friend”, middle of my rankings. I would, of course, opt for my #1 of the NF to win instead, the delightful slice of “Bohemiana del Rey” style that was “True Colours.”

Hungary: Hungary’s A Dal has the cachet to attract a number of returning artists, so it was not surprising that, eventually, it would be won by someone who’d triumphed before – and I’m delighted it was Joci Papái, one of the biggest revelations of the Hungarian NFs for me. Yet, as is often the case with folk coming back to take a second bite of the cherry, the sophomore effort comes short of the first – “Az én apám” is lovely, touching, but lacks the bite and edge that “Origo” had. I might have JP come second and hopefully return for a second victory in 2020/1 with something a bit stronger, and send in his place the soaring but melancholic “Madár, repülj”.

Belarus: Life is too short to do some things, and whilst I try to listen to pretty much every national final song, one of the things life is too short for is intensively following the Belarusian national finals with their hundred-odd auditions. I saw a few, though, and they were a rum lot. Musically, Aura’s touching “Čaravala” was probably the best of those I heard – but was also strangely won over by the unpretentious, fun ode to tubers that was “Potato, aka Buľba” and depending on my mood, I might give it the nod either.

Serbia: Beovizija had a great lineüp yet again, and there were a number of songs I would have been happy to have gotten the win, including the eventual winner, but also those of Saška Janks, Extra Nena and Ivana Vladović. The latter’s beautiful “Moja bol”, with strings to die for, was my favourite on the night, but in retrospect, I’m not sure I’d replace the equally stunning “Kruna.” I’d be tempted to send it in its acoustic version though, where Nevena’s lovely voice stands out even better.

Belgium: Ô, Belgium. I adored “City Lights”, and so my expectations were really high. This is nice enough, but a bit beige, and doesn’t quite deliver, especially the way the enjoyably tense verses lead to an anticlimactically limp chorus. I’d change that with something that actually feels like a pay off to the verses and the Walloons would have a better shot of shining again.

Georgia: I have to say that, once again, I find myself being one of the few people I know who has some love for Georgia. Whilst it wasn’t truly my cup of tea, I appreciated and enjoyed Iriao’s song last year on some level, and the same is true of Oto’s – he has a powerful voice and it’s a strong, if rather unsettling song. I think, though, that I prefer the darkly ethereal Sevdisperi zgva, which sounds like what I imagine would result if Björk were tasked to write a Bond tune.

Australia: After a few years of rumours, Oz finally jumped on the national final train, and, credit where it is due, it was one of the most intriguing national finals of the year. It was as if SBS had decided to atone for its aggressively MOR pop picks of previous years by actually showcasing some musical diversity. Unlike a lot of folk, I don’t dislike “Zero gravity” – it has a meaningful lyrical background and some quirky charm. But there’s no question about whether I would replace it and with what. I still get chills every time I listen to “2000 and Whatever” – the sheer, irrepressible burst of positive energy and the power of its “kulila miranyi” still give me goosebumps. Damn straight one of the best song of the entire year.

Iceland: Given the amount of hype Hatari have received – and how fans flooded videos of its competitors with comments about how they shouldn’t “fuck up” by picking them instead – I may be one of the very few who would change the result there. Yet, I almost definitely would, even though I typically like lesser-heard genres at Eurovision and like the heavier, industrial musical style. And yet, I find this quite trying. It seems like a very knowing, art school student pastiche and I’m not here for their “above the contest” feel or the BDSM gimmickry. I’d be tempted to replace this with the low-key but lovely “Hvað ef ég get ekki elskað”, or to at least pare back the OTT disdainful irony.

Estonia: It feels almost like another era when I was a firm exponent of the idea of Eesti being Beesti. Three years of immense disappointments will quench that type of fire. Whilst leaving behind the stunning Spirit Animal in 2017 and opting for a generic poperatic vocal exercise in 2018 were excruciating, this might be the biggest let down yet – a land of so many talented musicians having to rely on an Avicii pastiche sang with no small difficulty by a reedy-voiced Swede. I found Eesti Laul very slim pickings this year, and found the other two frontrunners to be rather bland too – even the delightful Sandra Nurmsalu came with a tune that, whilst pleasant, sounded less nomadic epic and more toilet tissue commercial backing track. I would have gone for Kadiah’s delicate “Believe” as my pick instead.

Portugal: FdC was once again one of the best national finals, and the one for whose result I was perhaps most anxious. There were a few songs I really liked, like “Pugna”, “Mais brilhante...” and “Inércia”, but when the dust settled, there was only one song I wanted to see winning – “Telemóveis,” of course, which I was delighted to see prevail. I have some real worries about the bizarre staging distracting from the message and emotional power of the song, though. There’s so much going on, and it might be enough to push people from being entranced to being weirded out. I’d get rid of the spoons, sort out the clothes and try to make things impressive without being so extra.

Greece: I actually really like Greece this year, even if I’m still pissed off at what they did to “Don’t forget the sun” in their dubiously axed national final last year. Her voice is beautiful, the music is uplifting and anthemic, the æsthetic is curious and a bit culty, but at least memorable. The one thing I don’t like? The lyrics, which sound like a bunch of motivational Instagram quote clichés loosely knitted together. Sing something actually meaningful, preferably in Greek.

San Marino: Lord, I’m not going to start because if I do, I shan’t stop. All I’ll say is that San Marino’s “troll nation” status is wearing thin for me. Unbelievably, hundreds of talented people came out in numbers last year willing to represent them, and yet they went with a song written supposedly in 5 minutes but probably in half that. I’d have invited Sara de Blue back instead to make up for the bizarre fiasco that was last year’s 1in360. And the automatic qualifiers:

France: If France’s national delegation aren’t rethinking their voting system after this year, then they ought to be. It’s the opposite of Sweden, where the juries really have the power and the televote is scattered – all you need is a frenzied following to overturn a low jury placement. I liked a great number of Destination Eurovision’s selection this year. I would have taken pretty much ány single one of them over the snivelling, bombastic, self-aggrandising drivel that is Roi. With regards to what to send in its place, I’m torn between the powerful “Là haut”; the adorably, quintessentially French “Allez leur dire”; or the energetic, indefatigable earworm that was “On cherche encore”.

Israel: Boy howdy, Israel sure want to do their level best to avoid fluking a 1979 and winning on home ground, eh? I heard there were many big names who sent songs in, though I’m unsure if any of them would have helped to make the stormy Kobi seem more sympathetic. I think I would have opted to let Ketreyah perform for the hosts instead.

Spain: After a great national final last year, I was really disappointed with the subpar quality of the so-called eurotemazos which were anything but. Miki’s song was the best of a bad lot and at least he didn’t have the hideously negative attitude some of the other people, who seemed surprised and aghast that the winner of a contest related to Eurovision could end up performing there. I’d try to give Miki a song that matched his energy with at least a bit more lyrical depth.

Join me in some days when I evaluate what I would change with SF2!

[dark-and-kawaii]

Akashi and Kise scenario catching their female partner dancin in the kitchen making food while listening to the guardians of the galaxy soundtrack? I really enjoy older music when it comes to romance! It probably sounds stupid but this would make my day, Kiwi! I think this would be the cutest thing ever. Activate that fluff button! EaRth fire september is a good song that puts me in a good mood to if you could add taht to one. If this is to dumb you can overlook this

Anonymous said:Oh! For the request with the dancing to guardians can you make the dancing silly. Like good old fun dancing, nothing sexual by any means. I just really like this idea and i’m sad no one else has ever requested something like this. Thank you if you don’t overlook this

*slaps you softly* ＼(º □ º l|l)/

THIS IS NOT STUPID!!!!! IF ANYTHING THIS IS THE CUTEST FREAKING REQUEST EVER!!!!!! I loooooooooooove love love older music and dancing! 

Fun fact: Kiwi listens to Earth Wind and Fire - September when depressed. 

No seriously, this is the best request ever! Like seriously! Why would I overlook such a golden request? (⌒▽⌒)♡

I’m so sorry this took literally forever! I was slacking for a long time! Please enjoy these two fluffy scenarios my little berry! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

*snaps fingers and takes your hand to spin you around while singing*

Songs used: Hooked On A Feeling - Blue Swede ♡ September -  Earth Wind and Fire ♡ Come And Get Your Love - Redbone ♡  Ain’t No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrel

WARNING: MAJOR CUTENESS ( ˘⌣˘)♡(˘⌣˘ )

Kise Ryouta 

“~I’m hooked on a feeling! Bum buh bun bum! I’m high on believing! That you’re in love with meeee!~”

It was the day after Kise had proposed to you, and you were currently high on life and love.

Grabbing the spatula you sang into as if it were a microphone.

“~Lips as sweet as candy! It’s taste is on my mind!~”

Since last night was a breathtaking night due to your now lovely fiance, you had decided that it was your turn to surprise Kise with breakfast in bed.

Twirling around in nothing but a pair of yoga shorts and Kise’s dress shirt you swayed your hips back and forth as you shook your shoulders and hair making your way back to the stove as you continued to sing into the spatula.

Flipping the pancakes you threw your arms up in the air as you pounced around the kitchen looking for a plate.

Little to you knowledge, Kise had woken up from the music and the clunking going on in the kitchen. Being the curious blonde he is he had made his was towards the kitchen. Poking his out a little he saw in clear sight that you were dancing and singing as you made breakfast. Oh how he wished he had his phone to capture this moment, but he didn’t. So he stayed hidden as he continued to watch you prance around, so he could imprint this moment into his head.

You were so cute though as your kneeled down with the spatula singing Hooked On A Feeling as you bobbed your head around. Your hair was freely moving around your face, you just didn’t have a care in the world. ‘My little ____-cchi is so precious! This is making me want to join her!’

The song has came to an end, but alas a new one had came on! September by Earth, Wind and Fire.

The mood was so intense that you had started giggling to yourself spinning the spatula in your hand. “~Do you remember the 21st night of September! Love was changing the minds of pretenders while chasing the clouds away-” You slid the spatula under the fluffy pancakes flipping them onto the plate in your other hand, at the same time your hips were moving in a rotating motion. Flipping the last pancake you pelvic thrusted the air. “~Hey hey hey Ba de ya~” Placing the plate down on the counter next to the stove a grin bigger than your heart was plastered on your joyful plate.

Whirling around you were surprisingly met with hands on your hips- “~Remember how we knew love was here to stay~”, Kise could no longer hold back, he needed to join in all the fun as he sang the song with you.

Kise’s grip tightened so could pick you up and twirl you both around in the kitchen, guiding you down from the air he placed you on his feet so he could guide you around the room, dancing hand in hand.

No two people have been more in love.

“Ryouta! I was going to surprise you in bed with breakfast! You should still be in bed!”

Kise laughed aloud to your comment “surprise you”, he was laughing so hard that tears brimmed at the corner of his eyes.

“____-cchi, don’t you think it’s kind of hard to surprise someone when there is music blaring.”

Your were baffled… was the music really that loud?

“O-Oh… W-Well, go back to bed so i can give you a nice surprise Ryouta!”

“___-cchi this is the best surprise to wake up too! Honestly, I don’t think i’ll ever have another gloomy day after this!”

You sighed in defeat, “I love you Ryouta Kise, but sometimes you are a pain.”

“Awh, but i’m  ____-cchi’s pain!” He winked at you while grabbing the plate of pancakes with you still on his feet as he guided you both back to the bedroom, leaving the music on to blare through the house.

Akashi Seijuro

Nine forty pm, just fifteen more minutes and your sweet boyfriend will be home. You had made your journey to the store an hour beforehand so you could surprise him with a warm home cooked meal, and you’ll be damned if you burnt it tonight!

You were in a particularly good mood so you had decided it would be fun to add some music along with your cooking. Flipping on the stereo you played Come And Get Your Love as you skipped back to the boiling pasta. “~Hellllll with it baby cause you’re fun and you’re mine and you look so divine.~”

Staring at the picture handing on the wall, it was of you and Akashi on the beach holding hands. “~Come and get your love come and get your love now~” Pointing at the picture you were “serenading” Akashi as you staggered around swaying your body back and forth. “~Hellllll what the matter with your feel right don’t you feel right baby~” Throwing your hands up moving them up and down as you lifted one leg to shake it. Yes, you looked like a fool, no, you didn’t care. You were given news today, news you weren’t necessarily expecting but you knew that in your heart this was the perfect timing. Most would say you were crazy for thinking that, but something was telling you that everything would workout.

Slamming your hands on the counters you lifted yourself in the air kicking your feet out in a cheering motion “~La la la la la la la Come and get your love!~” Snatching up the sauce jar you banged it a few times on the counter following the beat of the song loosening the lid.

“Darling I’m ho-” Akashi had just walked through the front door only to be met with booming music. Akashi studied the living space to see if you were there, but you weren’t. Moving around he got a wift of your spaghetti “Ah, looks like someone’s in a good mood then.” Akashi hung his jacket before moving towards the kitchen.

Coming towards the kitchen entrance he saw that you were flipping your hair back and forth, rocking your hips and jumping next to the stove as you clanked the wooden spoon against the pot. “Looks like i picked the right night to ask.” He said to himself quietly so he wouldn’t disturb you.

The next song that came on made Akashi step into the kitchen only a little. He leaned against the frame one hand in his pocket as the other arm rested at his side. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough had come on the stereo, it was one of his favorites and it described his love for you perfectly. Nothing could ever stop him from getting to you.

Swirling around you were met with a smiling Akashi Seijuro, as the song continued on…

♫Listen baby, ain’t no mountain high

Ain’t no valley low, ain’t no river wide enough baby♫

“Hey.” His voice was music of it’s own.

♫If you need me call me no matter where you are

No matter how far don’t worry baby♫

“Hey” you said back as you both looked one another in the eyes, more passion burning in them than ever before. There was definitely something special about this night.

♫Just call my name I’ll be there in a hurry

You don’t have to worry♫

Akashi was still leaning against the door frame as you swayed your hips walking up to him never breaking eye contact as you opened up your arms so you could wrap your arms around his waist. Sliding your arms under his you wrapped your arms all the way around him embracing him warmly. “Would you believe me if i told you that i loved you, Seijuro.”

♫‘Cause baby there ain’t no mountain high enough

Ain’t no valley low enough

Ain’t no river wide enough baby

To keep me from getting to you babe♫

Akashi smiled at you as he pushed you back with one arm. “Would you believe me if i told you i loved you, ____?” Reaching out to you with his free hand. All you could do was smile at him, your teeth showing and all as you grasped his hand firmly. Akashi twirled you around once before spinning you into his arms.

Pushing you back again, Akashi gave himself room. “Would you believe me if i told you i want to be with you forever, ____?”

Akashi began kneeling down before you had time to answer his question. Akashi Seijuro revealed his other hand that was hiding in his pocket, and his hand was a small black velvet box.

♫Remember the day I set you free

I told you you could always count on me darling

From that day on, I made a vow

I’ll be there when you want me

Some way, somehow♫

“______, Would you believe me if i asked you to marry me?” Opening the velvet box was a breathtaking diamond ring in the shape of a heart. “Will you marry me, _____?”

♫My love is alive

Way down in my heart

Although we are miles apart

If you ever need a helping hand

I’ll be there on the double

Just as fast as I can

Don’t you know that there ain’t no mountain high enough♫

Tackling him down to the ground your tears flew in the air as doing so. “Yes! Yes Seijuro! I will! I will! Yes!”

Akashi held onto you while you lay on top of him.

“Oh! Sei-kun!” Sitting up on him both legs on either side of his. You wiped away your delighted tears.

“What is it, ____?”

You were a bit stiff but shook it off, “Would you believe me if i told you that you’re going to be dad?”

Akashi’s eyes widen “_____, are you pregnant? You’re pregnant?”

Biting your nail as you smiled and nodded. “Yeah I am.”

Akashi sat up with you still in his lap, looking at the velvet box in his hand he smirked, and in his eyes there was a twinkle. ”We are going to start a family, and you’re going to be the mother of my child.”

“I went in for my birth control and the doctor told me it was too late for that! I know we weren’t planning it but-”

“_____, you will be a beautiful mother, and i can’t wait to give our child the basketball my mother gave to me.” Akashi’s eyes were filled to the brim with tears. Never in his life did he think he would be a father one day, it frightened him far too much. He didn’t want to become like his old man.

“And you my dear Akashi Seijuro, will make the best father, and i know that your mother is smiling down at you right now.”

The moment Akashi blinked the tears had spilled out, “I think you’re right, _____. I think she is too, and I know she will watch over our child from above, and you my future wife.”

~Admin Kiwi xoxo I hope you liked this ( ; ω ; ) and how i wrote it

[izzy-b-hands]

man a nightclub running AU tho.

Black Pete and Jim as bouncers, Roach bartends, Frenchie and Wee John help arrange for talent/performers (thinking like more club/concert space for smaller shows)

the Swede and Buttons handle stuff like set up and lights (the lighting system is weird as fuck, and they are the only two who can make it work without potentially breaking the entire thing)

Lucius is some unique combo of things: he'll bartend with Roach, help shout assholes out of the club while Pete and Jim handle the physical tossing bit. But he also helps Olu with the finances (Olu's main job because he saw Stede's attempt at it and knew they'd sink in a month if he didn't step in, and he really doesn't feel like job searching again so soon. Plus, Stede is very excited abt his new club even tho he knows next to nothing abt the actual running of one, and the enthusiasm is sweet), and will generally pick up anything else that needs doing as long as he doesn't outright hate doing it

Ed runs a competing club across the street but as soon as he sees Stede and his crew and how they work (and also how cute Stede is), he's like ayyy

what if I sell my space and help you run your newer, nicer space? I can give you Izzy as an extra bouncer, he does a good job at my club (he does. he may be short but he will literally haul ppl outside and yeet them a good foot while calling them a twat so loudly anyone nearby now knows this person is apparently an asshole. several times this has unleashed a passing drunken bachelorette party on the tossed out asshole, who don't know what's going on but will happily give this person a dressing down for harshing the overall vibe

It also nets Fang and Ivan as additional stage crew and bartenders and tbh whatever else they feel like doing. they've done the work for ages, they know their shit, so having their help in any area is a gift

Badminton's shithead twin (im gonna probs misspell it, Chauncey? dickfuck #2 lol) rolls in with some Footloose levels of i don't want clubs near my home and schools!!! Meanwhile the fucking club is all the way down town, and his dumb ass lives literally miles away on the outskirts of town on a big lot with horses and rich ppl shit, and his kids go away to a private school. it seems like he's literally just making a fuss to make a fuss, but either way now they have to deal with his shit. and he is batshit, he keeps trying to do things to fuck up their service and revenue like stealing the visiting talent's gear, attempting and failing poorly to set the club on fire, etc, but he's besties with the authorities so any reports they make get minimal results if any

eventually Ed finds out Stede has had to consistently kick out and finally banned the first Badminton twin for being generally terrible and making other patrons uncomfortable and shit, on like week two of his club being open, and that's the actual reason twin 2 is losing his shit. Explains it, but doesn't excuse it

The only thing I can't decide is how to end it, and how to work everyone else in. I do right now really like the idea of Mary and Spanish Jackie as a team of lawyers that end up representing the Revenge and crew as a business entity while the Badminton dickfucks keep trying to bring useless, so far only civil, cases against them. Bonus for Doug as the legal assistant, because i feel like he'd shine there, honestly. He's got his shit together, and he genuinely loves going to the club to see new bands, so yeah yeah conflict of interest but ehhh it's fanfic fuck it lol, and he doesn't want to see it taken away when it's doing decently well finally, and most in town who are old enough to get into a club love it

Calico Jack is just a regular performer, but each performance is Something. Never know exactly what he's gonna do: spanish guitar for three hours? strip tease? Led Zeppelin cover band made up of only him? you gotta roll the dice and see what he shows up with. Stede is a little concerned abt him but hey, he shows up consistently and helps set up his own gear while working out a decent deal for wages with Stede and Olu, so what more could he ask for on the nights when they have no guest performers coming in?

the ending really evades me rn, but im gonna find it dang it. eventually lol

[markstrom]

The Canucks are Attractive 101

by @markstrom, @feistyteee, @tomiath, @nhlmarkstrom, @huttsybobuttsy, @pyatts, @baercheese

This is the ultimate guide for anyone who ever said the Canucks are not attractive. Say goodbye to the world as you know it. 

First of all: Swedes. We all know it, Sweden somehow produces the best looking people on this planet and the Canucks have some of them. 

1. Jacob Markstrom 

Our starting goalie is 6′6 and no one can look at him without melting away. His voice and his sweet Swedish accent is the cutest thing you’ll ever hear. Also: eyebrows. Also: eyes. The curved nose needs a shoutout cause it’s adorable. His face is just a masterpiece of art and anyone who doubts this has, well, no idea of art. We also love to mention his tattoos because damn. 

2. Anders Nilsson

Only a fool might think one Swedish goalie is enough. Meet Anders Nilsson, another 6′6 goalie from Sweden. He’s the absolute purest sweetheart, as you can spot a pride flag on both his masks. To represent his gay friends, he says. His hair/beard color combo is different but it works. So. Damn. Well. Plus: the freckles, we love them dearly. Our Swedish goalies support each other at all times, goalie controversy? We don’t know her.

3. Alexander Edler 

He looks like Alexander Skarsgård but on skates. Another sweet Swedish blondie who is also the sweetest dad. His hair always looks on point and he does indeed have a nice tan in his pic. Probably best dressed Canuck, his fashion is on fire. What a man. 

4. Loui Eriksson

A man also known as The Poodle. His fluffy and curly hair make you want to touch it. His look is sometimes very weird and intimidating and some people might think of Louis Vuitton when hearing his name but remember, this kind of fur is completely Canucks branded. 

5-6. Henrik and Daniel Sedin

These are our leading Swedish fish and they do look the same. Some people might say they aren’t really pretty, but hey if you’re into gingers, we got two identical ones for you. We aim to please. 

Next: the team dads (Disclaimer: this does not mean they actually have kids). We got plenty of them and they’re mostly cute and obviously good with kids – or still single.

7. Sam Gagner

Sam Gagner aka Gags is a really smiley. GAGNER WITH SCRUFF IS ICONIC. Also smirk smirk smirk. He likes to wear an all white mouthguard that makes his teeth look weird during the game but that’s okay because he needs to protect his perfect smile at all costs! Bonus: He looks so comforting like you can trust him with your life.

8. Brandon Sutter

His sarcasm is A+ comedy. He also looks like he could play the role of a guy everyone falls in love with on The Young and the Restless. He’s just very pretty, hair is soft, light scrub and eyebrows are 👏🏼. His eyes are pretty and they are very kind. Also that little smile/smirk is giving me all kinds of feelings ngl.

9. Christopher Tanev

He most definitely looks better with teeth than without. Tanev is the protective type of guy, he takes pucks to the face for you but mostly for Marky, literally. Long hair don’t care. The soft, dark brown of his eyes can tell that he couldn’t hurt a fly. Bet he takes the ladies out on good dates too.

10. Michael del Zotto

“Michael Del Zotto does wedding photoshoot, does not actually get married”

“New Vancouver Canucks defenceman Michael Del Zotto was named one of our nation's 25 Most Eligible Bachelors”

“Just showed up, plugged in his iPod without anybody asking, just plugged it in”

Michael del Zotto, more commonly known as DJ MDZ has Italian heritage as you might realize in his name. He’s got curls curls curls. Simple, overall goof who often thinks too highly of himself. Further he’s the absolute kind and friendly standard Canadian. 

11. Erik Gudbranson

YOU CANT TELL ME HE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE GQ COVER!!! Certified male model Erik Gudbranson. God definitely was in a very good mood when he gave him his face. His nose is straight and thin, it just makes you want to tap on it. His smile is very comforting and so is his look. His eyebrows are a statement. This guy knows for sure what a hairstyle is. His sense of fashion is straight out of a fashion magazine. The scrub is just the whipped cream on top, his face is artwork. 

12. Markus Granlund

Looks quiet and serious but has a great sense of humor and arguably some of the best Instagram posts. He’s from Finland so if you want a Finnish player we have all ages. He’s got pretty green eyes.

13. Alex Biega

Alex Biega is a cute family man. Great with kids, nice, cute smile, rosy cheeks, nice nose. Con: he has no hair, but you don’t see that when he’s wearing a helmet.

Next up: our young guns! They are all handsome af and just overall lovable. They’re fast and speedy and some of them are thicc af. Save the best for last, our personal favorites.

14. Ben Hutton

1. If you’re ever feeling down, watch a hutton video, he’s happy 24/7 and knows how to have fun. 2. He’s always smiling and his smile can brighten a room. 3. Those dance moves tho. Who knew a “Barbie girl” lip sync could be so hot. 

15. Darren Archibald

He is a wall, he is badass and that makes him so ass. His skin looks very soft and his beard does actually look good, not like Guddys. HIS BEARD IS PERFECT. His eyebrows are straight up goals and look at the dark, kind brown of his eyes. Beautiful.

16. Bo Horvat

Bo’s face is chiseled like a god. He carries his dog because he doesn’t want to make him walk. He love to go to the beach with his dog but he doesn’t let him swim because he’s “more of a sinker”. His nose is very cute and his body is damn well trained you can just look at him forever. Bo has very soft short hair and he is often amused by Brock’s non-existant smile. 

17. Brendan Gaunce

Baby face Brendan Gaunce has the hairstyle of a guy from elementary school. His lips are so red at all times it’s inhuman. He looks very innocent but it feels like he’s not. He’s just kind of there, no one really knows how or why. Kind of looks like a little baby deer. 

18. Tyler Motte

Fact: There are no good pics of him in the inter webs. Tyler “Applesauce” Motte kinda looks like a college kid from a frat. He’s a very fast skater and his penalty killing is absolutely sexie. 

19. Nic Dowd

Dowdy is just overall an incredibly handsome guy. That hair line and the wavy fluff, can you see it? Beautiful. The cheek bones? Beautiful. He could work as a male model if he wanted but fortunately he plays hockey to bless us with his beautiful face. 

20. Troy Stecher

Stechy has straight up the most adorable dog on this planet. Let’s be real if anyone says Phoebe isn’t their favorite Canuck they’re lying. Kind of an underrated defence man so not a lot of people fully appreciate him. He’s like that rough and tough hockey player that’s also very adorable. His voice is simply great. 

21. Brendan Leipsic

Where do we start here? First of all he calls his dog his son and it’s very adorable. Also his curls. CURLS. They match his face so well and they are absolutely adorable. His lips have a perfect shape and look so soft. Generally his face looks just super soft and kind. Also, have you ever noticed his fashion sense? Definitely one of the best dressed guys on the team. He’s also very aggressive on the ice and he hustles and works very well with our favorite d-man Derrick Pouliot. His nickname is delicious country gravy because he works so well with the chicken strip.

22. Brock Boeser

Here we go, it’s time for Prince Charming! The hockey community on here already knows how great he is and look I even found a rare footage of his shiny smile. Whenever he smiles he helps the global warming because his smile melts icebergs. Awesome. He always chews on his mouthguard rather than use it and his mom doesn’t like that. Oh, he also went to prom with a girl who has down syndrome and that’s really the type of guy he is. His flow is legendary and often his hair look like actual gold. He leaked his hair routine and apparently he just uses Head and Shoulders shampoo. 

23. Nikolay Goldobin

Goldy is the most adorable Russian puppy you can find anywhere in the NHL. His hair are super fluffy and he doesn’t know how to wear a hat but that only makes him look even more adorable. His nose is so small and round it’s absolute gold! Don’t even get me started on his eyebrows because they are flawless! He got the most innocent and sweet smile out there, he always seems happy. You want to squeeze his cheeks and generally just hug him. It seems like he gives nice hugs. 

24. Sven Bärtschi

@baercheese is here to confess her love: “My cute little Swiss boy ♥ my forever favourite & definitely underrated in the looks department & as a hockey player. His nose might not be straight but it’s still cute (I will fight you if you disagree) and his hair is always slicked back to perfection👌🏻 If you haven’t heard him talk you need to because he has a sight accent and it’s my favourite thing in the entire world 😍 He’s also a known dog lover & has a dog named Bear (named after himself basically), what’s not to love?”

25. Derrick Pouliot

Derrick Pouliot, also commonly known as Poulet, chicken strip and super strip is our cutest chubby teddy defenseman and we all know it. He grew up in the middle of nowhere in Saskatchewan and not a lot of people got to appreciate his beauty so far. His hair are the pure fluff and make you just want to run your hands through it. His face looks so soft, his eyes are warm and you just want to squeeze his cheeks ngl. Listen to his voice once and you never want to listen to something else ever again. He is not really tall and his hockey gear looks kind of too big for him, the others love to pat his head. Sometimes his hair get a little curly and it’s just the cutest thing ever. Just by looking at him you can tell that he gives the best and softest hugs ever and he makes you feel comfortable at all times. He is really silent and not outgoing, he needs a lot of time to feel comfortable with new people but that’s totally okay. He’s super cute with kids and just overall totally lovely and kind. A real Canadian.

26. Jake Virtanen

Jake Virtanen is the ultimate snack. He’s half Canadian, half Finnish and 100% babe. The man can skate. Fast. Right into my heart. To quote the great philosopher of our time, Taylor Swift, he’s so gorgeous, it actually hurts. He has the cutest dance moves and the most precious smile. When he does that little slanted smile, I swoon, you swoon, we swoon. Bonus: When he works hard his face turns red and it’s adorable lmao.