#i just. struggle to make myself seem really pc and non cringey but also i just can’t stop thinking about it and it hurts
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being deeply ashamed about things you enjoy is really shitty actually
#esp my hyperfixiation :(#i just. struggle to make myself seem really pc and non cringey but also i just can’t stop thinking about it and it hurts#it’s also heavily affecting both my mental health and creativity lately l#i’ve barely drawn at all because every time i do i just feel :( with what i want to draw#and even with things i’m fixated on what my main focuses in them are aren’t even popular so it’s just me talking to micha and journey about#it#that’s nice even if the underlying guilt and shame is there#i wish i could just enjoy something (critically) without being judged or canceled by everyone outside the fandom and just.#disliked and or unpopular just because i like unpopular ships and characters#which is also the only canon ship btw#it’s been like 2 years now and i just :\#i’m also getting back into dr super big again cuz me and emmett just replayed it and !!#but also that’s cringe and the fandoms so bad i don’t wanna get judged or blocked by my friends#also my fave characters are just plain unpopular and under appreciated or written transphobicly so i get called transphobic on tiktok jfc#i’m tired#vent
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