#i keep trying to go to sleep but im having thoughts

[suiana]

(yandere! zombie x gn! survivor reader) (im such a youtube shorts kid bruh this idea came to me because of a video i watched)

did you know that zombies retain their habits from when they were humans?

well you sure as hell do now, because why is your annoying neighbour still following you around?? he's literally fucking rotting???

"shoo! go away!"

you hiss at him, shooting a rubber band at him before quickly climbing up a tree. phew, you wouldn't be bothered by him from here. it's been like this for a few days now, your undead neighbour following you around as you did your best to survive in this ruined world.

you never really liked him, your neighbour that is. he's always been that one weird guy that keeps annoying you ever since he moved in. constantly knocking on your door and asking to have meals together, to getting to and from work at the same times as you... you're so sure that he was stalking you. how could it ever be a coincidence that he just somehow knew when you were going out and coming back from work?

but now you wouldn't ever know and it's not like you wanted to know anyway. ignorance is bliss after all. oh! he's also very stubborn and it's quite apparent in his zombie form.

"bweh."

"go away!"

the zombie hits at the tree you were sitting down on as he looks up at you with what seemed to be puppydog eyes. you could only grimace at the sight before checking through your supplies. shit, you're running out of stuff.

"ugh... i'll need to scavenge for food-"

"guh!"

you raise an eyebrow at your undead admirer before humming. right, you suppose it isn't that bad that you have him around... he gives you stuff that's useful and scares away other mobs (you think he eats them if they get too close to you). you would've actually coddled him like a dog if he wasn't trying to get into your pants or kiss you every second.

"thanks."

you lean forward and snatch the bad of chips from his rotting hands before stuffing it into your bag. mn, you could probably have that for your lunch and dinner tomorrow.

"let's see... i need to find a good place to sleep tonight."

"bwa! buh beh!"

your zombie immediately starts scratching at the tree bark before jutting his lower lip. huh...

"no, i'm not sleeping in your apartment."

"gah!"

you think you're starting to understand zombie language because why are you holding full on conversations with him??

"don't give me that face. you know our apartment complex is riddled with zombies. i don't want to be turned."

"kh... gur! rh..."

"you think i'm trusting you? i swear i saw our old neighbour lurking around there and he was an olympic sprinter."

you shake your finger at the zombie before sighing softly. why did this apocalypse have to happen? things were going great for you before this. you just had a raise and you were so close to landing a date with your hot boss!

if you didn't know any better you'd have thought that your little zombie admirer was the one who kickstarted this zombie apocalypse because of his jealousy. what did he work as before he turned? a scientist?

"tn... jhn... ngh..."

"don't act all sassy with me right now. it's not like i want to sleep in your place to begin with. you'd probably lock me in there with you and i'd be trapped."

"bah!"

rolling your eyes at the sassy undead man, you rest against the trunk of the tree and shut your eyes. might as well get some rest before setting off again.

"i'm going to rest now. help me keep an eye out."

"kah kah. jah?"

"no, i won't kiss you. and no, i most certainly won't reward you with myself. you're rotting, damnit! how many times do i have to tell you that?"

"ui..."

what in the sassy zombie apocalypse have you gotten yourself into?

[musevinnie]

ᴄᴀʙɪɴ ɴɪɢʜᴛꜱ - ᴠɪɴɴɪᴇ ʜᴀᴄᴋᴇʀ

Description : You and Vinnie have been best friends for a long time. The friend group decided to plan a little getaway to a cabin. And after a little game of truth or dare things come to light.

Warning: smut. p in v. unprotected sex. breeding kink. dirty talk. finishing inside. fingering

a/n- haven't proofread it

Okay Vinnie your turn, truth or dare. One of the friends, Justin called out to him. He thought for a moment and took a swing of his beer.

"You know what, hit me with it. I pick Truth." he said taking another chug of the beer.

Justin smirked to himself known what exactly he was doing. He knows Vinnie has feelings for you. So he just wants Vinnie to finally confess because he's tired of hearing; "isn't y/n so pretty", "do you think we will make a good couple", "what would our kids look like".

It was sickening.

"Okay Vinnie Boy. Name the person of the you are in love with."

Vinnie eyes widen! And you quickly turned your head and look at Vinnie.

"WHAT! You are in love with someone and haven't told me anything. I thought we told each other everything?"

Vinnie face was turning bright red and got up. "Im done playing this stupid game"

And with that Vinnie went into his room he was staying at in the cabin. Everything got quiet and the vibes went down. You quickly got up and followed Vinnie into the room where he vanished into.

You saw him sitting on the edge of the bed, You closed the door and sat down next to him. "Hey what was that about?"

Vinnie was not looking at you. "Nothing it was a stupid game and a stupid question."

He runs a hand through is hair. "I just didn't expect Justin to call me out like that okay. It's embarrassing, he knows that I love-"

You took a deep breath, you've always loved Vinnie ever since you both were in high school. You know you should be happy for him but the thought of him loving someone else breaks your heart.

You move a few curls outta his face. "Who is she?" you smiled. Still wanting to support him over anything.

Vinnie took a deep breath and looked at you. "She the girl I been in love with since high school. The same girl I think about before going to sleep and the girl I think about waking up. My best friend. The girl I see myself marrying and having kids with."

Happy tears fill your eyes and Vinnie captures your lips on his. "I love you y/n, I love you so much."

You tackled him and kissed him back making you both fall back on the bed. Vinnie smiled into the kiss. You prepped little kisses all over his face.

"I love you too Vinnie"

Vinnie moved on top of you not breaking the kiss. It started slow and passionate. Both of you feeling a rush of emotion after hiding how you both feel for each other only for you both to have the same feelings for each other.

Vinnie's hands start to roam your body. Without a second thought vinnie pulls down your skirt. You let out a moan. Vinnie lets out a chuckle and kisses you again.

"Baby you gotta be quite wouldn't want others to know how desperate you are for my cock"

You try to hold in a moan. Vinnie is just admiring and worshiping your body. In one swift move he hooks his fingers to your panties pulling them off.

He starts kissing your thighs, you letting out another moan.

"Baby, I will stop if you cant keep quiet." he teased

You bit into the sheet, getting frustrated with his teasing.

Vinnie takes off the last of your remaining clothing and kisses your stomach.

"Don't be impatient baby I'm want to worship this sexy little body of yours until you're screaming my name."

Vinnie was about to continue until he realized something.

"Shit babe I don't have a condom maybe Justin-"

You pulled him into a kiss. "And who says we need one?"

He starts attacking your neck leaving love bites and hickeys.

"Baby girl once we cross this line we wont be coming back. This means you are mine and mine alone."

In the blink of an eyes Vinnie was now fully nude too.

He starts kissing down your stomach stoping at your inner thigh. "Can't wait to taste every inch of you" Without a warning he enters to fingers into you.

"This sweet little cunt is all mine" He removes his finger and put them in your mouth.

"Vinnie stop teasing I need you now." you moan

"Such an impatient little thing aren't we? But only because you are my good girl you can have this dick now."

He positioned himself at your entrance and started rubbing the tip of his thick cock against your folds. At this point you both didn't care if the others heard you were a moaning mess.

"That's it princess take my cock like a good girl let everyone hear your pretty little moans." He praised you as he kept thrusting. He groan as he felt you clenching around him.

Your moan kept getting louder. "Baby I wont be able to hold in it any longer."

"Come for me baby girl, show me how much you love this big dick stretching out your tight little cunt."

That was your breaking point and you felt your orgasm rip through you making Vinnie follow right after.

You thought that was the end but it wasn't at least not for Vinnie. He kept going. "So pretty baby, letting me come in you. Is the thought of carrying my child getting you off?"

He picked up his pace. "Yes Vinnie, omg yes." You felt your next orgasm not too far behind.

"That's it babygirl. My good pretty girl" His thrusts were getting deeper. "Soon you'll be carrying my child no baby you will be carrying OUR child."

One final thrust and he releases his hot seed deep in you. Vinnie falls back on the bed and pulls you closer and kissing your head. Both of you feeling content and happy with what went down.

After a few minutes of coming back to earth you both are giggling and stealing a few kisses. Vinnie picking you up bride style to take you to the bathroom for a much needed bubble bath.

Until you hear a knock on the door. Only to hear Justin's voice from the other side. "Ya so can I be god father of mini vinnie or mini y/n?" he laughed.

[cherubytes]

oh wait the pronoun lore really recontextualizes the council reffering to gabriel as "it" in the act one cutscene abffjshs help

[book-lover85]

Stay at home dad and artist on commission Keefe

[faaun]

idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do

[whatthefuckisasweep]

cant sleep … plagued with thoughts.. overstimmed… also starving… time to scroll tumblr till i have to go to class :,((

[rozeliyawashereyall]

:(

[sandpapersnowman]

my therapist and i were talking about spacing out our sessions more since i'm generally doing okay and then i accidentally forgot to schedule more sessions so i'm going through like one of the worst things i've gone through in a while and like desperately want to talk to my therapist but her earliest appointment is december 5th (it is currently september 18th)

[denako]

Hey guys! Life update since i haven't posted anything in some time

College started three days ago and

[kit-katsuki]

ohhhb venting...

[orcelito]

Having a Saturday like "most people I've dated have only really liked me for my body and/or a fake personality I've presented, so when they know the true me it's not enough to keep them around. Anyways let's have some ramen for my 2 pm breakfast."

[frecklystars]

Wow, 32 asks. Thank you guys so much 😭😭 last night was one of the worst shifts I ever had at work. I feel like i keep reverting back to a year ago when everything was fresh. it's been extraordinarily difficult the past couple of months but it always eases the ache when I read nice messages. it genuinely calms me down a lot when other people tell me it's gonna be ok. so thank you to everyone who took the time to do that for me ;-;

I'm gonna be honest, I feel super hopeless. I am not getting joy from anything right now. Drawing, socializing, watching movies, listening to music, I'm feeling *absolutely nothing*. I am triggered by the SMALLEST fucking things that I thought I was getting better at handling. I'm having trouble wearing skirts again. I'm flinching around the color pink when I was doing SO much better with it. For the last nine days, I haven't gone three hours without having a panic attack. I'm not sleeping. My flashbacks are lasting longer. I'm having out of body experiences again for the first time in almost a year. I feel so hopeless. I told myself one year ago "hey I feel like I'm dying right now my ptsd is so fucking bad but! hey! one year from now, I'll feel better! this will feel so far away from me!" but I don't. I don't feel better. I don't think it's possible to feel better bc I'm too broken. It's been over a year and I don't feel like it's possible for me to make progress.

My Barbie/Ken anniversary is coming up and I was excited for the first couple of weeks, but right now I just... feel absolutely nothing. I am so, so, so severely depressed and my anxiety is getting worse every day. I need help out of my unsafe situation so fucking bad dude it's just gonna kill me. I'm so scared this whole thing is gonna genuinely kill me. I wish I could talk about it but I don't want to scare people but at the same time, it's so bad and it's weighing on me so heavily and I am so fuckign tired of dealing with this every single day

I don't know if I'm gonna go offline or not, bc my problem isn't even online. so... I don't see how being offline would help much. I just feel like I'm supposed to do SOMETHING, literally ANYTHING to feel something. Going offline last time made me feel significantly worse, so maybe that shouldn't be my next step. But I feel nothing when I'm blogging right now. I tried making a Jacob edit the other day and I felt no joy. I want to be filling up my queue for the 21st, all of my Barbie and Ken photos and gifsets. I should be writing Barbie and Ken love notes. I should be making video edits again! but I feel nothing!!! This is the one and only anniversary that actually matters to me this year - sorry to the other 12 Ryan F/Os who have anniversaries but THIS ONE is THE most important one, because these two characters are the F/Os that have helped me the most with my abuse trauma/cptsd. They're the whole reason why I started self shipping again. I want to celebrate that. I want to be excited about it. I am just so fucking numb.

I NEED to feel something for this anniversary, I miss celebrating F/O anniversaries! I don't get to do that anymore since self shipping was ruined for me! Since my main F/Os were ruined for me! I deserve to have a good time with my new F/Os!! I am a good person and I am kind despite all the bullshit I've been through and I work really hard to try to heal from shit! I try to stay positive and I try to help people and I!!! Deserve!! To have a day where I feel good with my F/Os without reliving every single horrifying vile thing that someone did to me! but I feel so empty right now and it hurts! I was excited a couple of weeks ago when I was planning all the activities i was gonna do on the 21st, like a restaurant and a movie and baking and throwing a party with my friends, but now?? Nothing. Absolutely NOTHING in my heart. I feel so goddamn empty. I am so depressed. I really really feel like I can't get better. It's been over a year and I am incapable of healing from my trauma and I don't know what to do about it. I am trying so many things to heal!! I'm going walking, I'm eating way healthier and cutting sugar to see if that helps clear my head a bit more, I'm getting sun, I'm drinking so much water, I'm exercising, I've cut my screen time significantly and reading more often, I'm hanging out with my friends as much as I can, I am trying everything in the book and I feel like a zombie just sitting here and rotting to death, going through the motions and reliving my trauma in my head over and over and over and over and over and over again and I can't get any fucking peace. It's like everybody in the world is living their days while the planet is spinning but I am stuck in the same spot reliving the most horrific bullshit imaginable over and over and over. I feel like I've lost almost 2 years of my life to trauma. I don't feel like I've aged, I feel like everything happened yesterday. I feel like I'm stuck in one spot while everybody else is walking forward and I can't move.

Sorry to ramble I didn't mean to turn this into a vent post but idk what else to do. I don't know if I should go offline on my actual anniversary or maybe a couple of days leading up to it?? Or maybe I'm supposed to BE online and blog about the F/Os to see if that helps me feel better?? Being offline made me feel worse. But being online isn't helping me either. Dude I don't fucking know. I need to work on some crafts or something. I need to make a BarbieLand diorama and paint it. I'm gonna bake heart shaped cookies for the first time this weekend. I'm gonna invite my friends over and we're gonna have a party on Sunday and watch the Barbie movie together. I don't know what else to do but I have to just... keep trying I guess even though I feel nothing while doing these things, it's better than doing nothing

If anyone has advice or something, it's more than welcome. Or even just a "wow, that's rough, buddy". I'm sorry for being negative, I try to remain positive on this hellsite but it's so hard right now. Thank you again to everyone who wrote me a nice message last night when I was hurting. I'm sorry I'm gonna probably be asking for encouraging messages a few more times in the next few weeks bc supportive messages are the only things that have been effectively (affectively?) helping me lately

[nerdie-faerie]

Bout to test this public WiFi

[sucrose-soymilk]

hadn’t really regressed in a While and i didn’t realize how much i missed/dareisay needed it until i had the free time and ability to do so over the last few days and i have to say. i’m feeling a bit better

[vvitchynerd]

sometimes I would get this craving to draw something based on music and never act on it

[scaredofmyocs]

I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long