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miintsprigz · 5 months

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I decided to liveblog my thoughts on the new amazing digital circus episode!

Another long post incoming…

But uh SPOILERS!!!

•Oh this is a nightmare…just based on the weird movements…

•That’s such a terrifying nightmare legitimately. I know the “I don’t wanna play with you anymore” jokes will abound but…imagine if she DOES actually abstract at some point. And this was foreshadowing. Also, the fact that she’s so terrified of being forgotten… Oh honey… we could never forget you!

•I don’t ship them (PLEASE DONT KILL ME) but Ragatha and Pomni are so sweet. But goshdangit Ragatha your fEELINGS MATTER STOP FAWNING.

•THE GIANT BUBBLE BLEEP AHAHA

•”Zooby” PFFT.

•LARPING. SO POMNI’S CANONICALLY ONE OF US HUH, GIANT DWEEB (affectionately)

•Idk why but I really like that gummy elephant. It’s so cute!

•”They’ve even got little candy bugs here!” D’AWW.

•So…Caine’s God, huh.

•”I’m not a child you don’t have to hype me up.” Fair point. Still get icked out by r34 tho.

•”I call shotgun!” Ok I admit he’s fun at times.

•PLEASE LET GANGLE HAVE ONE NICE THING I BEG OF YOU

•The graphics did get a serious upgrade. I love it.

•Huh, so the AI have personalities even when they aren’t being watched, if the gummy bandits are AI.

•Ok never mind Jax is a pain again.

•YEAH YOU CUSS HIM OUT POMNI!

•Aw well at least Kinger is trying to help.

•”Now I have no bridge!” EAT IT RABBIT

•Gosh this really is so silly I like it.

•Jax makes me hate him more almost every time he opens his mouth.

•DID HE JUST SHOVE RAGATHA IN THE FACE?! AND BLACKMAIL POOR GANGLE?!

•Sorry I’ll stop talking about Jax, I just really don’t like him (love him as a character, pisses me off as a person).

•OH GOSH NOT THE GLITCHING VEHICLE

•Oh no that poor gummy dude! I love his Aussie accent too (I think he’s an Aussie)

•OH SHOOT HE GLITCHED THROUGH THOSE ARE MODELS!

•Yeah that must be unnerving. Poor guy.

•There’s our girl!

•”Under the map” makes me think she designed it. “What are you on about?” Makes me think he IS an AI. But he’s becoming self aware. “Where’s mum…” oh no this poor guy…

•Aw Pomni is being nice to him.

•Well I love this fella already. …but I already know…things…hhhhhhhhhh.

•Hah, Willy Wonks reference.

•OH SHOOT ITS A RAGGEDY ANN MOVIE REFERENCE. Fudge is silly, I kinda love him. But also YIKES HE ATE PEOPLE.

•”Is it really murder if it’s delicious?” FFFFFFF

•I STILL HATE JAX BY THE WAY, please don’t kill me for that. Really only cares about himself, I so badly want to see him get his just desserts. I’m sorry if you love him, I love to hate him, I promise it’s nothing personal

•Poor gummy havin a crisis. I wanna hug him.

•See Pomni is actually nice. Imo anyway. She wants to help she’s just nervous. Attagirl, Pomni. You’re trying your best.

•I’m seeing the I Have No Mouth references. And AW she’s inviting him to come with!!! Good lass.

•POMNI DEVELOPMENT!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! BEST GIRL!!!

•Gummigoo, good lad good lad

•Her knowledge on the programming. Her KNOWLEDGE. EEEEE.

•AWWW THEIR LITTLE SMILES

•This is an oddly pretty landscape here, with the teapots.

•Kinger with a bucket on his head HAHAHA

•”I don’t think she really likes me that much.” Honey if only you saw what ONE EPISODE spawned in regards to art of you two.

•KINGER IS THE TEAM DAD. I REPEAT, KINGER IS THE TEAM DAD! “I remember when you were new here too…” And just like that, he lost it.

•OWCH FUDGE GOT BONKED.

•PFFT ya know as a mildly emetophobic person, I normally hate vomit jokes, but these are kind of funny.

•”Good to see you lads.” AWWW.

•Aw the duplicate worked out.

•”I’m so unbelievably disappointed right now” GOOD, COPE SEETHE MALD

•Pomni is genuinely a sweetie. We can see it now. I love that.

•Also the Princess is lovely, I adore her, hope we see her again.

•Oh shoot. Big boom. OH NO FUDGE.

•NO!!!! GUMMIGOOOOOO!!!! I knew it was coming but STILL.

•It’s so sad that she got all this development and now it seems like she’s back at stage one

•Could gummi have been human after all? Is that why Caine looked horrified???

•BRING HIM BACK PLEASE!!!!

•Awww Zooble’s little comfort.

•Oh shoot, funeral for Kaufmo…that’s so sad… aw… that’s good though. It’s how they keep their humanity.

•LEMME HUG THEM PLEASE!!! AW RAGATHA HONEY ITS OK

•AWWW GANGLE’S DRAWING!! THEY WERE BUDDIES… AAAA

•Even Zooble seems sad. Zooble’s nice deep down too I think, they’re just apathetic. And who can really blame them? When you’re stuck in a digital reality, completely disconnected from your own humanity, sometimes that’s how you cope.

•Notice the only one NOT MOURNING is FRIGGIN JAX. What a dingus.

•I really love seeing a resolution to Pomni’s nightmare, where she realizes that people would miss her, and that they would mourn her if she was gone. I think that’s an important thing for her to realize. I guess she isn’t back at stage one after all.

•I WANT A PLUSHIIIIIIE

•But yeah, this episode was absolutely amazing, it made me feel so many emotions, and I can’t wait to obsess over the TV tropes page with all of its new details!

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malzykins · 15 days

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GIVES US THE VOID HAND FREAKS LORE!!! (You dont have to if you dont want to)

OH BOY. well with a nice little request like that how can i say no 😇

HUGE preface that this is very AU-heavy because. like I got no beef with the actual canon but I just want to play around with my favourite characters like little dollies if that is okay. :]

To even get to the freaks though we do have to start at the beginning of this for it all to make even a lick of sense and to me anyway it feels like a lot.. warning not one centimeter of this is without some form of mental degradation and shameless self-indulgence (<- failing to cope with the lasting effects of cringe culture)

absolutely MASSIVE text post belo im dead serious:

Nothing much really differs from the origin of the Operator/Drifter themselves, all the Zariman shit still happens etc. Operator was kind of a bastard child (shes 12 most of them are, but i digress LOL), very much the kinda person to stick their nose in everyone’s business and try to “fix” all their problems if she thought something could be gained from it (sound familiar?), be it a compensation from the people themselves or from her seniors getting basically surface-level information about it all and being like aww what a good kid!! and gassing her up with all this praise. Most other kids definitely knew what she was doing, or at least didnt like her or the vibe she put off, but it didnt really stop her cause that’s not whose opinion she necessarily cared about the most.

When the Zariman incident happened, her ENTIRE support group became her enemy and she was left with nothing. She got her just desserts alright and it broke her, like really broke her, like watching a spoiled brat finally get what’s coming to em and she genuinely did like a total heel-turn in terms of personality temperament etc. She became a lottt more prone to acting childish and favoured emotional outbursts over rational thinking, since she didnt have her people that she looked up to anymore, she didnt have her Glue so to speak. She went from main character syndrome to acting how a 12 year old would probably realistically act in a fr life-or-death scenario overnight

Being a child in a traumatizing situation she latched onto really anything she could get. any distraction. desperately wanting something or someone to trust. so when that damnable doppelganger shows its face, behaving exactly how she used to behave towards other kids (not that she had the self-awareness to deduce that at the time), she instantly ate from the hand that feeds. And there was that :)

Nothing strays from canon between this point and the First Dream. Shes still very much a petulant crybaby and kind of sucks at being a Tenno but thats neither here nor there,, in the Dream, though, is when things start to REALLY deviate.

During the years of war and strife and child-soldier-ism with everyone else, she had a lot of time to think. Shes well aware that all this void power shit wasnt possible before their time on the Zariman, and as far as she was aware she was pretty certain that didnt change the moment they boarded. Over time she fights the memory suppression of her traumas to dig up answers and narrows it right down to that moment she shook hands with herself, something clearly odd and nonsensical, now viewing it with a bit more clarity of mind and basically coming to the epiphany of Oh You Motherfucker. theres no way it was not you. theres no way ALL OF THIS (the existence of the tenno and by extension their eventual drafting into the war, and all of the bullshit that follows that) was not because of you. And when they get told that theyre all going to be put into a cryosleep, because theyre more trouble than theyre worth, really, to just to give everyone around them more peace of mind well. shes quite upset about it. She and other kids definitely try to fight their way out of it (they dont make it far) and rest assured theres no shortness of bawling and sobbing, but deep in there there is anger. She starts to get real pissed off about this whole ordeal and honestly just fucking everything that has lead to it, that piece of her old self that had the capacity for rage and ambition bubbling through the surface.

When she was placed into the First Dream, that quickly manifested well outside of her control. She herself was entirely lacking in conscience, but that essence of herself that existed just beyond her own grasp, that metaphorical spirit that whatever youd want to call it, began to fester in some crevice deep in the Void, not having truly left the place after the events of the Zariman unfolded. It festered and festered and grew until every horrible negative emotion that she Could Not experience in her current state snapped free and went on a violent witch hunt for exactly who the hell made her this way and WHEN she found It, that manifestation didnt relent in the slightest as it quite literally beat the absolute ever-loving dogshit out of the Indifference and (taking some of the various Murmur codex entries very literally) lashed its very flesh apart like a goddamn. kindergarten art project.

Once all of her anger was spent and she realized that didnt actually fix any of her problems, and the bastard was busy reeling for a while because, what in the fuck was all that about, she was left just a lonely, sad empty husk. And because of the Void’s receptivity with negative emotion, it did something with that, taking those lacerated fragments and turning them into something greater, turning them into companions to fill that lonely gap, into the Murmur. they are very No Thoughts creatures and dont understand what existence really is, and like most freshly borned creatures they imprint on the first thing they see (the Indifference) though they know at least the smell of who ultimately made them and are constantly chasing that trail to find the source (hence their appearance in reality in the albrecht labs because we dont really Know in canon what theyre looking for in there exactly (afaik) so I’m justttt rewriting that. for me 😇)

Once they inevitably have their cool reunion or whatever (which takes place a lot sooner than the normal story progression, I just am not sure on where to put a pin) Operator latches onto them just as much as they latch onto her, their Maker, and she ends up neglecting a lot of her responsibilities to just run and play with the little freaks all day ^-^ which really pisses off the Drifter. and makes HER take up the Operator’s mantle, a good chunk of the normal questline being done by her instead.

NOW. for what you ACTUALLY asked for. Im so sorry 😭

THESE three bastards: Prodah, Nahkip, Vedah, in that order. In this little AU thing, Murmur fragments have this little bit of individuality to them in the form of those lighter blue stripes or “veins”, which are more like indentations in their skin that faintly glow with their Void energy. The more a fragment has or the more unique they are, the more respected the individual is in a sort of innate social hierarchy system. If a fragment is born with no veins whatsoever, if they are unmarred and “perfect” so to speak, they are essentially bullied and outcasted to some unloved corner of the Great Indifference to wallow alone, and for a faction all about unity and working together that isnt very nice. :)

Vedah and Nahkip are the two I probably have the least juice for. Not that I dont like them (far from it) I just have yet to reeeeally get to them ;; I at LEAST have personalities and such down

Vedah is like a curious naive little dog. It’s very erratic and jumpy and is more often a follower than a leader. It loves games but gets bored easily, and loves trying to make friends. It definitely makes the most racket out of the three, big chatterbox this one (I love the sounds the fragments make... they are such screechy little creatures it's soooo cute)

Nahkip is probably the most “normal” out of them. It doesn’t vocalize often and carries itself in a bit of a high regard (not necessarily in a conceited way, moreso it is aware that it is of a somewhat higher caliber than most and incidentally behaves as such). It’ll politely listen to others and offer input when it’s spoken to, but once all is said and done, it returns to pretending you don’t exist, going about its own business.

Prodah, the last fellow, is (was?) one of those unfortunate veinless souls. It often found itself a victim of many fights, and it quickly learned that trying to defend itself only made matters substantially worse. In one particularly nasty scenario, its ring and pinky finger were completely snapped off by an attacker and ground to dust. It tried to fight its way out of exile often, but eventually succumbed to the hand it’d been dealt, fleeing to some unaccompanied outcropping overlooking the Void.

Vedah found it, eventually, having sniffed it out and tracked it from where it hid buried in the sand for god knows. Prodah of course, very angry and scared and traumatized all at once, didnt take too kindly to the ordeal, but Vedah’s “people skills” and a rare instance of patience helped bring the guy just enough out of its shell to at least stop regressing into fight-or-flight everytime it (Vedah) moved :] Still VERY skittery and non-trusting. just a bit more… tolerable.

Vedah and Nahkip are friends. or. at least Vedah sees it that way. Nahkip tolerates it but could really give or take. Vedah always wants to show around its new friends to its current friends, and Prodah is not an exception even if it really should be (hence the naivety; you can’t “look guys it’s cool dont be mean okay :D” your way out of everything girl)

LUCKILY Nahkip seems to not gaf. At least not in a bad way. No it actually definitely gaf because it’s been ages since it’s last seen a veinless fragment still kicking around (esp since there is essentially no reproduction of these creatures, whatever exists is all that will ever be (unless MITW feels like getting flayed again. for some reason) so once you’re killed or whatever it’s gg) and is very surprised that one is still alive, figured over time it should have just gone feral and torn itself apart from insanity or decomposed on its own, but it didn’t. and Nahkip is a bit of a studious fellow. so it is very interested in this creature.

There isn’t too much coherent lore after this.. lots of bits and bobs and meat and potatoes but not the most fleshed-out explanation for it all? At some point the three become close enough with one another (maybe more spiritually than anything, cause it likely isn’t so apparent from an outside perspective) that they form a Severed Warden like some sort of Digimon evolution or whatever 😇 There is some large gap of time where the Operator does not see them, the entire Prodah arc happening under her nose so when she next greets them they are together as the Warden and shes so proud of em ;; she doesnt really understand how it happened/works but she knows Vedah and Nahkip are in there and they do their best to introduce Prodah to her. After some coaxing it uncurls itself to meet her and she's absolutely appalled to see a friend in such a sorry state (being a Warden didn’t heal old scars), and figured that wasn’t any way for someone to live. so she removes her gloves and gently holds its hand in her own Void-corrupted ones (that I’m sure most Operators have anyway; shes extremely self-conscious about people seeing them but the Murmur are similar to her, in a way, so with them she relents) to offer that connection and comfort with it. In the same motion, some transfer of power takes place and after a brief moment, Prodah finds itself whole again with two new fingers to replace its lost ones, brimming with the light of Void energy. IN TURN, though, not such is without consequence, the Operator now missing those exact same digits that Prodah initially lacked. She quite literally gave it her own (which is why its lighter-colored fingers in the image do not have the standard issue Murmur claws. also this throws the Indifference for a loop because ??? bastard child I gave you that for YOU. not for you to just give handouts to thralls 😐). This is a complete heel turn for Prodah because while it was initially a perfect, veinless creature and demonized to all hell and back.. to receive marks from the Maker itself??? WILDLY different story. Okay we respect you now. like a lot. like A LOT a lot.

I absolutely had plans to include The Fragmented One in my little repertoire of creatures as well :3c For this I’m going to pull directly from my brief lore document instead of just reiterating what is perfectly fine to copy-paste instead, if no one minds:

“To make an example for the Operator, the Drifter assists Loid in secret in purging the Laboratories of Murmur presence, but ends up slaying the Warden of Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah in the process. The Operator’s heartrending grief at their passing draws uneasiness from the Indifference itself, and her dormant, volatile energy involuntarily wrenches forth their fragments from the afterlife, as if they had never perished at all (this is unknown to her; her döppelganger is the one to impart this information, yet not knowledge of their whereabouts). She dedicates restless hours to searching for them, neglecting her own health, too nerve-wracked to properly eat or sleep. It is after a week’s passing that the Operator discovers an odd formation within The Great Indifference and, upon touching its surface, the structure breathes in new life, lost fragments rising from beneath the sand to create the One. Upon spotting Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah atop the bow of the amalgamation, she becomes overjoyed at their revivification, triggering a transference of power between them; the Operator’s Void energy unknowingly begins to bleed over into the One, a deadly power donation creating an impossibly cataclysmic entity with capabilities yet to be measured. In anointment, the Operator honorably dubs the creature Fronrein—’tandem roar’—and it is forever at her beck and call.”

this Fragmented One is no stronger than the one you face normally. I just wanted to squeeze in something for my lore that could possibly explain why that fucker is SO god damn brutal in Steel Path.

Lastly (thank Christ right), something I haven’t yet fully fleshed out is that I want to pull the consciousness of the main fragments into the Operator’s warframes. Likely happened at some point during Fronrein’s birth. it’d be neat for these friends to exist in two places at once :) seems totally feasible to me given how freaky the Void gets. Vedah inhabits her Wisp, Nahkip her Protea, and Prodah her Harrow. None of this is planned, it just sort of Happens. the fourth arm of the One also gets dragged into this (dont have much for it. similar mannerisms to Nahkip I know at least), being placed into the Drifter’s Chroma, and she is NOT happy about it. very peeved actually. She hates these fucking things and to now have them basically be sentient frames walking and (telepathically) talking around the ship MUST be some sort of cruel divine punishment. She mellows out though, after some grueling amount of time, becoming a bit more platonic with her Chroma after slowly letting her own defenses down and just bonding and talking with the guy (now that these Murmurs can actually do that), but still is a bit standoffish with the Operator’s frames.

Operator thinks it’s cool as all hell. She’s brainstorming what all frames she could possibly get next and then try to shove Murmurs into those ones too. MUCH to the Drifter’s chagrin. god help them.

ANYWAY. I dont want to beta read this again I just hope it makes sense. Above all I hope it satisfies your ask ;; this is nearing 3,000 on the word count and actually took multiple days to write LOL /// thank you for giving me the opportunity to spill about these guys :’]

#im so sorry this took so long to get back to you #asks #warframe #<- sure why not. fuck it \o/#could go all day about these Things... i historically enjoy factions of Little Funny Guys and you bet your ass it's like half my OC count--#--where applicable #ive been thinking lots about the sentient frame arc recently but mannnn was this getting way too long LOL #just the basics should do 😊

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eunshii · 18 days

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What's your interpretation of the Sumi6 ending??? I know they're meant to portray a more unorthodox type of love, given their origins are rather unusual/lh, but I can't fully grasp why Habuko ate Sumire? Is it like the whole loving someone so much you'd want to canibalize (Habuko's not human but yk) your loved ones just so they'd be apart of you forever? Or eating her is like. Taking fate into his own hands? He could have destroyed his yoroshiro any other way but he chose eat her. Is there deeper meaning to be had

Hii! I’ve read the ending maybe 5? Times? So Ill tell you how I interpret it!

Im sorry I took a little while to respond to this ask.. timezones.. this was a little rushed since I did this before going to school too so sorry 🙏

! TBHK CHAPTER 94 SPOILERS !

So we all know that hakubo only ‘’realised’’ his love for sumire when they were separated, after her death. And that since she’s his yoroshiro, she is the thing most important to him.

Here, he says ; « I could let you go again, but that wouldn’t change anything. If I cant forget you anyways.. » we then cut to where he starts eating her.

From what I understood the first time I read it, he wouldn’t be able to forget her, and If he just lets her go nothing would change. So what he said.

Why Is he eating her? Like you said, its basically the « loving someone so much you’d like them to be apart of you forever ».

(note that this isnt in the English translations. I first read the book in french since I live in france) — Also, as said by Nene to Sakura later in chapter 95

« was it because he didnt like that I would be the one to destroy Sumire’s seal? »

Im pretty sure I saw a translation that translated this line similarly to that, but I cant find it anymore 😭

Also PLEASE note that Sumire seems completely fine with that. Even calling him cute while he’s eating her. I’ve seen a lot of people saying that sumire didnt want that, or didnt like it.

You could also interpret it as him taking fate into his own hands, other than killing her, I dont think there were many ways to destroy her. So it was either killing her or eating her

I personally really love this ending! A lot of people just reduce it to Hakubo eating Sumire, which isnt wrong but I feel like those jokes are kind of annoying. Seeing them on almost every sumi6, Sumire or Hakubo post/picture is honestly tiring 😭

So basically, from my understanding, Hakubo wanted to be the one that could destroy Sumire’s seal. Loving her to the point of wanting to be together, forever. There’s not a lot to be said since pretty much everything is written in the chapter.

If there’s anything to be added please! Let me know. Its been a while since I’ve thought of this so there were probably a lot of details that I forgot, ill most likely add them if i remember them.

#tbhk #tbhk manga #tbhk spoilers #jshk #sumi6 #sumire #sumire akane #hakubo #no6 #jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #chapter 94 #manga

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rottytops · 11 days

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squid thoughts after finalfest...

readmore bc i dont think anyone cares or even knows who runs this blog anymore but anyways

squids huh...........i have such a weird and intimate relationship with splatoon, i was SO into it when s1 came out i literally wouldnt shut up about it, i was on fucking. SQUIDBOARDS everyday pre-release sucking up all the info i could on splats, and i played it to absolute death too. at the end of s1 for final fest i was in a really weird housing situation bc i was leaving college and my like 2 month lease at my apartment i couldnt afford was running out, but i dont think i had a tv or something? so i had to use the apartment's like...public office room to play that final fest at like 2AM (i was team marie of course)

then splat 2 happened and i think splatoon was like, my entire life for several years no joke. i fell into a big splatoon community, got really into making splatoon art and OCs, had tons of splat friends, it was kind of a whirlwind. splatoon was the launching pad i used to get into freelancing commissions which is really funny in retrospect because i could not and still cannot figure out how to draw the inkling mask to save my life.

those were really really fun days and i still consider 2 the peak of my interest in the series as well as my favorite splat game + idol group, the good days in my splat fanbse didnt last forever though since my mental health and the difficulties of freelancing ate me alive in a way that im only just now recovering from, but that doesnt tarnish the memory or anyhting, the friends i made during s2's run are some of the closest ive ever had and im still with them even today, so i guess in a way splatoon 2 affected my life in a way only comparable to like...the disgaea series which is REALLY SAYING SOMETHING

but that brings me to 3 which is definitely when i fell off of the splat boat and wanted to move on. to be honest a lot of drama happened post 2's end that made me not wanna look at splat 3 at all but of course i caved and bough it anddddddd barely even played it, lol...i missed a ton of the catalog battle pass things and didnt feel the need to play that much, i didnt even get side order until like 2 months ago... it makes me sad to think that something so important to me is just not quite for me anymore, even if i love it dearly, part of that i think is just ive accepted im REALLY BAD AT SHOOTERS no matter what. a million hours in 1 and 2 and my aim is still super bad, i was able to get all X rank in S2 but in S3 i can barely land my shots or use my brella and had to swap to the 52 gal...its embarassing! i think id get really into a splatoon RPG or something, so maybe they just need to make a splatoon spinoff for me to get absurdly hooked to it but for now im pretty content closing a book on playing the games

but man, final fest made me realize how much splatoon has done for me over the years, i think ill always adore the world and its characters, even if i dont keep up with the games very much. im a little miffed team past won beecase even if i love the squid sisters, i reaaaally dont wanna see them doing more idol stuff. let those bitches retire!!! theyre like 30 now and still doing the same songs and outfits they wore nearly 10 years ago!! aauuhg, though i guess me caring so much about virtual squid idols shows how much the series still means to me...

i dont have any closing thoughts and i dont think anyone read this far either but it does feel very nice to word vomit on my blog which i. do not do. anymore. for some reason..

i love splatoon a lot i think, maybe i should just draw squids without playing the games...i think ill do that...

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fabaceous · 1 year

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okay i watched the episode i ate some lunch i read some posts and here are my “quick” takes

- i liked the unreliable narration aspect of shauna hallucinating/dreaming that the baby turned out fine bc i love unreliable narration/hallucination and even though it was not hard to guess that it was not real, i dont mind that kind of thing bc im a pretty easygoing tv/movie watcher. BUT i, like many of you, thought it was weird and surprising that she ended up saying(/dreaming/hallucinating) that she loved the baby. if i were to try to explain it away in a way that makes sense to me personally id say maybe she’s subconsciously imagining/hoping that she could love the baby bc she feels like its what she’s supposed to do and she’s afraid she wouldnt be able to when the time comes, but if so, the writing should make that clearer, so instead im forced to assume they really chose to write her as being enamored with this baby immediately which. well... is it too much to ask for her to at LEAST have complicated/conflicted feelings, even if they didnt want to commit to her actually not wanting the baby? it feels like a bit of a wasted opportunity in a show that prides itself on going to dark/twisted/taboo places. and im just generally weary of this idea that, like, every woman just instantly falls in love and magically develops maternal instincts when she has a baby. i dont know. ive never given birth, maybe its true. but it feels like that’s the messaging i’ve gotten from EVERYWHERE, from the world, from my own mother, from mommy bloggers, whatever, and i guess just once i would’ve liked to see something a little more complicated

- personally i thought/hoped that the baby hallucinations were going to go in a very different direction, especially when adult nat took the goldfish out of the water, i thought shauna was going to like, mercy-kill the baby or something bc she’d realized he didnt have a chance if they were all starving and she couldnt even make milk. BUT THATS JUST ME

- akilah and her emotional support mouse... so cute but i cannot be the only one who was dying a little at the thought of her delivering the baby after freshly petting a mouse 😭 like please wash ur hands first pleeease

- congrats to the lottienat girls who just keep winning... must be nice! and the taivan road trip brought me a significant amount of joy i have to say

- i share the concern that it is starting to feel a bit retcon-y and inconsistent. like as soon as they were done with the jackie arc they said “i dont want to play with you anymore” despite setting it up in s1 as THE defining moment of shauna’s time in the wilderness. its the blessing and the curse of multiple timelines...they can be soooo rewarding but you have to be REALLY sure of what happened in each one and you have to stick to it! (dark did this well! i think they had pretty much everything planned out right from s1 so there were certain moments in s1 that you still didn’t fully understand until the end of s3, it was very intricate and most importantly it was internally consistent. but i digress...) i guess it sticks out to me the most with this particular storyline bc it’s the one i was most invested in, but im sure there are some other examples too

i guess the bottom line is that in a well-done dual timeline show, the information you learn about the earlier timeline should enhance and enrich your understanding of the later timeline. and in some of cases it did, but in some cases it’s falling flat...i dont know i could probably rub together a few more brain cells and come up with some more thoughts but other people have already said it pretty well and unless i have a brainwave i dont think i have much to add!

#i thought id feel insane about this ep bc the yj derangement usually hits pretty hard #but i feel sorta like..okay well that was an episode #i did cry at the end bc i did find it sad #but i guess it just didnt hit like the others did #yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers

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sningo-prompts · 2 years

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Thinking about the poachers and like. There's gotta be someone in that group that at least feels a little bad for the pokemon. Like yeah, they're making money off of them but that doesn't mean they should treat em like dirt. Someone taking the time to try and calm Ingo down, maybe even offering some fresh berries and Ingo is just so desperate for some kind of comfort that he'll take it. maybe close his eyes and pretend its emmet

Like the poachers have a James in their group. Ok sooo idk if you saw my other post but im gonna play around it mk. Not gonna make ot a continuation but kind? Yea lets make it a part two fuck it who cares.

Also i dont like not having names for people so im gonna name out James John mk mk

Ok im back just finsihed the whole thing and im so sorry i messed ip. This isnt even what the ask was and i got distracted. Wanted to have Elesa kick ass but ehhh i dont wanna write pokemon fights. So john gave in smh. I didnt wanna put a happier ending. But it just started happening. John is not a good James. James is a legend smh.

John didnt really like his job all that much. But he needed it. Moneys money and that he really did need. His father had brought him into this. And his father was the boss of their little crew. John was the trusting face they used to trick people. This job was a big one though. They took a pokemon from the Subway Boss Emmet. He thought it too risky but once he saw the pokemon in question he understood why they picked this target. Father was say it was gonna be their biggest haul ever. Their client was some wealthy scientist or something. John didnt care too much, the less he knew the better. He certainly didnt like knowing how his father was treating the pokemon either. The sneasel was clearly terrified. His felt bad for it after watching his father threaten it till it ate something. As his father left he told John to “watch the little bastard.” So he was just sitting by the door watching the sneasel. It didnt pay him much mind nor did it keep eating the moment father left. It stopped and pushed the bowl away, curled up in the corner of its cage, and cried. John couldnt take this anymore. He left the room to get something for it to eat. He got the berries he used for his team most of the time. When he returned he could see the sneasel was startled and looking right at him. ‘Must have scared it when i opened the door.’ Slowly he approached, watching as the sneasel froze in place. He kneeled down so they could be eye to eye. “Hey there i know you must be hungry, so i got some berries for you.” He tried to sound nice but the sneasel didnt move. So john placed a berry into the cage through the metal bars. “Here its ok you can eat this.” Calculating the sneasel watched him for a moment. That is until its stomach rumbled. John nudged the berry further in “come on you must be hungry by now. You havent eaten hardly anything since getting here.” The sneasel still didnt move. Slowly john stood up and back away a bit. Then the sneasel slowly and shakily reached out for the berries. It sniffed them then took a small bit. Slowly it ate them all, though for some reason it looks sad about eating them. Odd. Even pampered pokemon had preferred berries of most pokemon foods.

While watching John noticed the sneasel still shaking in place. It jumped anytime John made the slightest movement. Though slowly it calmed down as it finished eating. “There you go now dont you feel better.” A sad look was all John got in response. ‘Of course it didnt feel better idiot its still trapped in that cold cage away from it s trainer!’ Slowly John approached again. He was taking a risk he knew but he could watch this anymore. He opened the top and reached in and gently pet the sneasels head “its ok im sorry but we arent going to hurt you ok.” The sneasel just started crying, it didnt even move from its spot. John felt horrible about this. He heard foot steps and quickly drew his arm out and shut the cage back. When he twist around right ad the door opened. His father was not the one to enter.

Its was a lady with long black hair. “You! Tell me where he is and maybe i wont beat you senseless!” John could hear pokemon calls and shouts from beyond the door. They finally bit off more then than could chew. She saw the sneasel that John was trying to block from view “EMMET I FOUND HIM!” She shouted then quickly started to throw out her team. “Please wait!! Youll only scare it more!!” This caused her to hesitate a moment before she realised he was stepping aside. “Please take it, it doesn’t deserve this.” Oh her heart at the sight of Ingo. Oh he was so scared. The runt was right, she was making it worse. Slowly she approached the cage, which the runt unlocked for her. When she went to pick up Ingo he all but rushed into her arms, shaking like a leaf.

Then in a blue of white Subway Boss Emmet was in the room. Elesa didnt even have time to turn around. The man was all but running in and punched the runt right in the jaw. He was done wasting time fighting. Then he saw Ingo. Oh his poor brother. Elesa handed him off to Emmet. She took note of the cage he had been kept in, she saw the bowls. Silently she cried at the sight. Emmet was just kneeling holding his brother close, checking him over for injuries. A sigh of relief. He stood up looked to Elesa, seeing her horrified expression he followed her gaze. Only to be frozen in place. It was so small. Not cramped. Not a blanket just two silver bowls. And one looked to have been used.

#sneasel ingo #transfer error au #sneasel ingo au #liz answers

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1000roughdrafts · 4 years

Text

Baby Winchester 2021

A/N: gift fic for @rileynicole1967. Merry Christmas! Thank you for being such a huge supporter, and for all of your kind words. I hope you like it. I dont have a laptop anymore so this is posted from my phone, hope the format is alright.

Summary: Reader finds out she's pregnant, and tells Dean in a cute way.

Warnings: fluff, puking, pregnancy, mention of sex, a tiny bit of angst but youd have to really watch for it.

W/C: 1.5k

This is also kind of a fix it fic for the season finale but I warped the time to be close to Christmas.

Excusing yourself from Thanksgiving dinner, after taking a bite of a meal your boyfriend spent hours to prepare, almost made you feel as horrible as the realization that the spontaneous sickness was accompanied by an AWOL period.

You let it slide, blaming the uneasy feeling on those intrusive thoughts, the worries that slip in and mix with hopes, turning into an anxious dream. A dream that involved having a family with Dean.

While you never had that whole marriage and kids conversation with him, you know that somewhere deep inside of him is a craving to nurture and care for a child of his own.

The way he talked about his past with Lisa and Ben was one giveaway, but when the two of you had sex he was careless, and so were you. One of you would courteously offer up the use of a condom, while the other would hear the suggestion with one ear, muttering an "oh, yeah, we probably should," between kisses, but the intention was already lost on the both of you.

It was like under the surface of "we can't have a kid, we're hunters,"there was a shared hope that maybe it would just happen, and it would become part of the challenges you take on in day to day life. Wouldn't really even be much of a challenge, other than keeping the kid safe, but what safer of a place than a bunker?

You'd be lying if you said you hadn't considered the thought, even if just for a daydream. It was a scary thought, raising a baby in this world, let alone in your world, but regardless, you wanted it.

Five days from Christmas, another period hadn't come. Sitting on the toilet you cover your eyes with your hands, pressing a bit deeper than you should, hardly able to control the bounce in your leg. On the floor in front of you is a pregnancy test, your heart racing too fast for you to watch it as it decides your future.

The confliction you feel is enough on its own. The one hand, excitement, the other, fear; a hope for both positive and negative to show up on that little stick.

Thinking back on the symptoms you'd read online they all seemed to line up with normal PMS symptoms. Your breasts were sore and heavy, but you've never examined them enough to know if they're really changing. You've been nauseous, even puking, but often that's not outside of PMS either. The only thing that really screamed 'pregnant' was your two missed periods… until you open your eyes to a test with two pink lines.

With shaky hands you bend forward to pick it up, feeling like every sense has been numbed and magnified at once, like your eyes are playing tricks on you. Your body throws out a nervous chuckle, re-reading the test like you're studying for a final before allowing yourself to actually smile. Panic and excitement fills you but you ride out the high, allowing it to consume you for a moment before planning your next move.

Slipping the test in your bra between your breasts, you throw the box it came in into an empty metal trash bin, setting it on fire to hide the evidence. Dean will find out eventually, but it has to be perfect.

You already had a world of ideas on how to tell him, and with Christmas just days away, the perfect time. You drive to the craft store to see what you could put together.

Walking down the aisle you turn to another and see blank christmas ornaments to decorate. Something inside of you screams, thousands of images popping into your head of what you could do with some paint and an ornament. Grabbing a present shaped ornament you head over to the paint section. You pick up a couple small gift bags and stuffing paper.

Leaving the bag in your car, you walk through the door to see the boys are decorating the bunker with random strings of light and tinsel.

"Looks great," you smile "now all we need is a tree."

"Well now that you're home we can go get one," Dean smiles, walking over to kiss you on the cheek.

You drove to all of the lots in Lebanon, all of which sold out of their best trees and left with the charlie brown's. Both Sam and Dean turned to you at each one with questions in their eyes, and you'd just shake your head. There's no way you'd let a three foot tree sit in a building as beautiful as the bunker. You'd find the perfect one, it just needed to take some time. That's when Dean suggested a different place.

He drove the three of you to a secluded woods, opening the trunk for a saw.

With wide eyes and a hidden smile, you jump out, Sam following.

"You're gonna cut one down?" you laugh.

Dean shrugs, lifting the saw to examine it. Smiling, he looks at Sam, "give me a hand with this will you?" he says, nodding to the other saw that sits in the trunk.

While the boys decorated the tree, you found it the perfect opportunity to sneak away and decorate your ornament. You slip into your car for the bag and run to a room you could lock, starting right away.

On Christmas morning, Dean woke you with a warm homemade peppermint mocha. The things that man could do in the kitchen made your head spin, or maybe it was the little life growing inside of you that made you so dizzy.

You hurriedly set the coffee on the nightstand and run to the bathroom, puking up the sweet, peppermint dream in moments.

Dean is quick to your side, kneeling down with his hand on your back, rubbing comforting circles.

"Are you okay?" he asks, and you can only nod. "Was it too much peppermint?"

You shake your head with a chuckle, wiping your lips with toilet paper before spitting into the toilet and flushing it all away.

"No, the coffee is great," you smile, turning to rinse your mouth out and brush your teeth, "I just don't think I ate enough yesterday," you say, mouth full of toothpaste but knowing it will be the last lie you have to tell him about the showing symptoms.

You walk out and accompany them as Sam pulls a gift from the tree and hands it to Dean. Dean smiles as you go to sit next to him.

"Oh!" you say with your best attempt at faking surprise, "I forgot an ornament" you say, barely able to conceal your smile.

You pull it from your pocket and hand it to Dean, stifling a giggle.

He smiles, "sure thing," he says, reaching for it.

It takes him a few steps to look at it, but even with his back turned to you you know when he reads it. He freezes, staring down at the golden letters that read: Baby Winchester 2021.

"What?" he says, whipping around to face you, and you just smile. Sam is alert, looking up from his phone as if Dean's voice startled him into the moment. Dean's face is tense, but he relaxes it to a smile, "what?"he says again, more excitedly, "are you serious?" he says in a laugh.

Sam stands and walks to Dean's side, reading the ornament over his shoulder, "no way!" he smiles.

You laugh, standing to grab the gift bag from under the tree with the test in it.

"I'm serious," you say, giving him the little gift bag.

Dean pulls the test out, Sam still at his side and when he looks at those little pink lines his face flushes, tears in the corners of his eyes threaten to come down. Sam is quick to run to you, wrapping you in a bear hug, saying congratulations before both of you have your arms wrapped around Dean.

There's silence for a moment, and you know what it means just by looking in their eyes. In their minds, just last week they were fighting mime vampires, the hunt almost getting away with Dean's life had he not missed the nail in the wall and fell backwards instead, and this week, they're expecting a baby. A baby in a world with vampires, and ghosts, and creatures that want you all dead.

You break the silence, "I know," you say almost somberly.

"What are we gonna do?" Dean asks, fear in his voice.

"We're gonna do what we always do. We're gonna keep fighting, but now, we'll be fighting for this little guy," you say, hand around your stomach.

Dean wipes the tear from his eye before it can hit his cheek and wraps his arms around you in a hug, Sam joining in shortly after in an embrace you wish you could stay in forever.

Sure, it's going to be difficult raising a baby in a hunter family, but with these two goons by your side, you wouldn't have it anyway else.

PermaTags<3 @waywardblueshun @81mysteriouslyme @drakelover78 @soab1967 @shutupandfeedmethings @pollywantacracker666 @sonnierae26 @obsessed5sosfreak @tlovescoffee @hobby27 @cluz1babe @emptycanvasposts @suckmyapplejacks

Dean’sQueens<3 @flamencodiva @akshi8278 @squirrelnotsam @laxe-chester67 @ellewritesfix05 @lyarr24 @mrspeacem1nusone

#dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural #dean winchester #spn #supernatural fan fic #sam winchester #supernatural x you #supernatural x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x pregnant!reader

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surveysonfleek · 3 years

Text

1622.

Have you ever gotten a flu vaccination? tbh i dont think i ever have! im not anti vax or anything (i had the covid vaccine) but yeah, just never thought to get the flu shot

Do you know anyone who drives a BMW? yes

Honestly, do you give a shit? not about much haha

When’s the last time you hugged your mother? lmao i dont remember. i think when she went on an interstate trip. we also kiss and hug each other only when we drop each other at the airport

What’s the last restaurant you ate at? pho

Double dates: a do or don’t? theyre fine

Do you know any guitarists? yes

Quick, name 3 of your favorite radio stations: i dont listen to the radio

How do you feel about full length beards? i dont like them on my fiance at all lol

Have you ever been to a circus? years ago. i havent seen any around in a loooong time

Do you know anyone who’s gone to a Fat Camp? no

Are you straight-edge? yes

Do you use Facebook IM everyday? yes

How many surveys have you done already today? three now

What’s the WORST show on Adult Swim? i dont have that channel

Do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa? nope

Has anyone ever posted a HORRIBLE picture of you for everyone to see? haha yes all the time. my heart always drops when i get tagged in a photo on ig or fb

Which grade in school was the most fun for you? hmm maybe 11? idk aha

Which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? puppy

Does drama seem to follow you everywhere you go? nope, im drama free baby

Do you ever just want to go away to a new place where no one knows you? nah, my city is big enough that not everyone knows me

You’re ordering a pizza, you can have any kind of toppings, what are they? i actually wouldnt care about the topping, id request the cheese filled crusts

Do you hit ‘quiet’ or ‘ignore’ on your cell? Which one usually? ignore lol

Do you ever regret giving your number to people? nope. only companies if im honest haha

Have you ever been told that you’re afraid of your own shadow? no

Have you ever tried Gouda cheese? yes. i dont really remember the taste of it

Does/did your high school have pop machines? nope

Do you use a public computer, or do you have your own? i have my own

Do you ever find it odd how you type LOL when you’re not really laughing? yup lol. its just a way to break awkwardness or to sound ‘friendly’

Have you ever gambled? yassss, its a pastime for my bf and i. havent gone in ages

Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? nope

If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? bath and body works

What’s the shortest you would ever cut your hair? just below my shoulders. i wouldnt suit short hair

Do you listen to any deathcore? no

Do you subscribe to any teen magazines? Which ones? nope

Do you know someone who never smiles? haha yes

Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable at work? no

Do you still watch South Park? no

Tell me one movie you’ve seen recently that sucked: brazen, its on netflix

Have you ever carved something into a dinner booth somewhere? no

When’s the last time you were carded at a bar? its bit a minute lol. i think im officially past the age of getting carded, i mustnt look that young anymore :(

Do you smoke little cigars? Have you ever tried them? ive tried them. i dont like it

You’re babysitting, what do you expect per hour for pay? ive never babysat ever lol

What’s the last thing you returned at a store? an icecream machine

What’s the name of the last cat you pet? haha i dont remember, i dont touch cats

Do you still look at clouds and make shapes of them? nope

If you had to dye your hair for one year, what color would you pick? light brown

Who’s got your heart? my fiance

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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stray-tori · 4 years

Text

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :(((

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message

why

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

#an innocent sin #dohye x noah #noah x dohye #long post #tori talks #tori has opinions #reactions #yes I do this often in our dms #poor mei #toriqueue

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

Text

tgcf lb the second. chapters 7-13

love that we’re getting fu yao and nan feng described as “two little pretty boys” amazing and completely as expected also everything theyve done is 10000% funnier now

The military officials heard their impromptu, slapstick live comedy and couldn’t help but smile. The dissatisfaction in their hearts had dissipated a lot, and they felt a bit more closer to the other three. This resulted in the sedan chair becoming much more stable. - tbh it is often true that if you make people laugh they are more likely to like you in my experience. to be fair what xie lian did was funny theyre a funny trio

okay time for some creatures and beings. base slaves do sound terrifying no thank you i do not like hordes. remind me a bit of husks from mass effect and those were the worst so. also xie lian wielder of silk ribbons i like it

im very :eyes: at fu yao and nan feng rn. i think theres more going on with them..... i have suspicions but we’ll see

well goodbye butterfly boy who crushes skulls and spiritual arrays and sick boots and taught me what a vambrace is. im guessing we shall meet again i have the strangest feeling that ive heard about you

In fact, all of the dead people in this room wore wedding garments while smiling even in death. - grim!!! spooky!!!

The moment he finished saying that, he pinched that corpse’s face twice. The youngster only felt that the skin beneath his hands felt smooth like tofu, making people’s hearts feel itchy. - eww!!!! also dont feel up the corpse buddy wtf. also everyone leave little ying alone

Drip, drop. Drip, drop. This created the frightening scene of a forest filled with corpses as blood rained down from above. even more grim!! - happy halloween kids

When he heard Fu Yao’s explanation, Xie Lian thought in his heart, ‘This name was truly unnecessary. If it was a ‘Devastation’, then it was a ‘Devastation’. If it wasn’t, then it wasn’t. Just like how there were only the phrases, ‘ascended’ and ‘haven’t ascended yet’. There were no such things as ‘near ascending’ or ‘approaching ascending’. On the contrary, adding on a ‘near’ word made people feel awkward. - nevermind the deaths, xie lian needs to make some points about semantics. it has nothing to do with the situation at hand and i love it

QI RONG IVE HEARD ABOUT YOU FROM MY MUTUALS!!! terrified

Who knew how many times he had already said that phrase tonight. Every time something happened, Xie Lian would have to say it at least thirty to forty times. However, there would always be people who turned a deaf ear to his warnings. He felt truly quite helpless. - not sure if this is be xie lian is dressed up as a bride or if its just his bad luck. or if its bc thats just how people are. either way i feel you buddy

“Excuse me for this.” Xie Lian grabbed a hand from each bride before placing them on each other’s necks. The two brides suddenly touched something and were very surprised. Since they couldn’t see anything, they began to fiercely destroy each other. - xie lian stop being funny fjlkajdfs;kasj also right after this he goes into his street performer spiel upon being applauded. amazing

the visual of this fight with the villagers inside the ruoye loop and all the brides is pretty sick. also xi lian on the spirit phone to ling wen while the villagers cheer is very funny

heteronormativity obfuscates another mystery... but also a possessive jealous bride walking on her knees... thats quite a figure!! and tbh it is interesting that everyone assumed that the ghost was a bridegroom who didnt want to see happy couples and not a bride who didnt want to see happy couples. congrats xie lian for thinking

bruh she ripped his skull out and it screamed

i mean the indiscriminate killing of innocent women is bad but other than that im on her side tbh fuck this general pei guy

ow wtf i just cried a little bit. xie lian’s reassurance to little ying... her response.... wtf ;_;

As for the matter between General Pei and Xuan Ji, unless one was directly involved, it was better not to comment on who was right or wrong. He could only pity those seventeen innocent brides, the military officials and drivers who had escorted them. It truly was an unexpected disaster. - valid. still sympathetic to her tho i just am

human face plague..... bruh. okay might have to alternate between reading this and watching hannibal not sure i wanna do those together

He really wanted to hang a sign on his back saying, ‘Ascension is not as good as collecting scraps’ and promote it in the mortal world. - this lb is officially just funny xie lian moments now

The meaning behind his words were basically, the female ghost Xuan Ji causing trouble could not be blamed on General Pei, because she originally did not have the ability to cause it. If they wanted to pin the blame on someone, then they should pin it on Green Ghost Qi Rong, for it was him who took in Xuan Ji and gave her the ability to harm people. - told you. i was right to blame the men

i have indeed seen the donghua trailer so my suspicions that butterfly boy was indeed hua cheng being confirmed are just like. yep. exactly as expected.

i read the second half of chapter 12 on my phone so i didnt get any quotes but hua cheng rise to infamy funny. xie lian listening to it all and just going “hehe silver butterflies pretty” is also funny

i forgot that xie lian was in debt but im glad he paid it off good for him be free

After a while, Ling Wen really couldn’t stand it anymore and privately told him, “Your Highness ah, the things you send in the spirit communication array are all very good, however, I’m afraid that even a Heavenly Official a few hundred years older than you wouldn’t send them.” - fakhlsdfjakl; ling wen really told xie lian he was facebook grandparent posting in the spirit communication array

Since he couldn’t fix this, then it was still better to just forget about it. Xie Lian gave up on this issue, and as a result, stopped being gloomy as well. - you know what i respect that attitude i really do. xie lian said well ill just get over it and he did. i need to do this with twitter

However, this kind of problem didn’t exist for Xie Lian. With the curse upon him, he was no different compared to mortals, and thus could eat everything. And because he was a seasoned veteran of a hundred battles, no matter what he ate, he wouldn’t die. Whether it was a steamed bun that had been lying around for a month, or pastries that already sprouted some green mold, he would definitely be fine after eating those things. Since he had a constitution like this that defied the heavens, he actually got by alright during the period he collected scraps. - im sorry i know i keep saying it but xie lian is so funny i love him fjasdlfsdjfadksl literally king of eating garbage i love him so much

okay more hua cheng lore next time. and this interloper in the cart... ok

#mouse mumbles #tgcf liveblog #honestly so far everythings just really funny #except the gruesome bit and the bit where i cried #but i really do like xie lian a lot

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yyxgin · 3 years

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i think what bugged me the most is i could say ‘they’re literal depression pills/they made me depressed’ and could reel off the side effect word for word (1/10 will experience mood swings (sometimes in the form of depression)) which was literally the first fricking side effect listed and the most common and she would still refer to it as me being sad literally seconds later in a convo. okay i never went to the doctor but when it occurred to me that, hey, something isn’t right, we were in the middle of a fucking pandemic!! i mean, we still are, but you get the point. this was right at the beginning when they basically closed everything as well so even if i wanted to i wouldn’t have been able to go see someone about it. but it’s whatever now, i don’t take them and i don’t have to give her any advice about them ✌️ i completely get the lack of validity about your emotions. that’s exactly how i felt.

i work so im not bothered about seeing people as i see them enough by my standards already but there is a helpful little voice in the back of my head reminding me that i still need to see my friends!! from before i got a job lol. i worked like 55 hours? my first proper week when i wasn’t on reduced hours and now i work maybe 30? which annoys me so i’m gonna ask for more bc i wanna buy a car and insurance. you still go to school, right? i feel like you’re more stressed about work considering you’re studying too. or were. have you just broken up from school? i don’t study, thank fuck, anymore, so i can do full time but i always get put on evenings so i’m thinking of getting a 9 to 5 bc then i can get the money i need.

a woman was rude to me bc her takeaway wasn’t ready bang on the clock when she turned up to pick it up. man it took literally every fibre in my being not to tell her to fucking leave me alone bc i’m a waitress?? what does she expect me to do??? i found out after but apparently our website tells you to allow a 15 minute slot when you order takeaway to pick up. i checked on this woman’s takeaway and told her it’d be ready in 10 minutes and she said sumn along the lines of ‘so 10 past 8?’. imma tell you straight i wasn’t looking at my phone so i assumed that meant the time was 8pm! (it wasn’t) she said to me ‘and i assume you’ll be knocking money off of the bill for that?’ and i politely replied ‘i can’t do that.’ bc i literally cannot. has to be a managerial figure. bearing in mind she’s already paid in full online???????? n she replies ‘do you wanna go suggest that?’ and nods towards the kitchen and i said no and walked off. the AUDACITY??? anyway i told my manager and she rolled her eyes and was like we don’t do partial refunds and said she’d talk to the woman when her order was ready. this woman was all up in my face saying ‘do you think that’s a reasonable time?’ asking if she should come back at 8:10 and im like idfk?? i have things to be doing can you fuck off?? no i didn’t say that but she says ‘i’ve got kids in the car with the engine running’ and i deadpanned ‘i didn’t tell you to leave your kids in the car with the engine running’ bc it was the first thing my brain thought of that wasn’t ‘sounds like a you problem to me’. in the end she left and came back but when she came back she was properly shouting at another waitress i work with and the girl was like 😄 your food was ready 20 minutes ago but you didn’t leave your details to be able to ring you to tell you it’s ready. she even re-mentioned the kids in the car saying they were starving and it was all our fault and the girl was like hmm okay. and then the woman said she was gonna leave a bad review on trip advisor!! and the waitress was like �� you do that bestie!! another great day on the grind :D (i forgot to say we were swamped on saturday so that’s why everything was so busy but she was literally the only one complaining that bad, like literally everyone could see we were struggling but they also were saying to wait staff things like ‘i know you can’t make things go quicker back there’ while we were apologising for the phat delay on their food).

another funny one (that made the barman laugh when i told it to him) was a grandma and a grandson in my section. the grandma was dictating his life jesus 😭 (not important but made me go 😳) but one of the girls cleared the table partially when i was doing sumn else so i finished it off and when we get back to kp she tells me the grandma complained the food was cold and without hesitation i said ‘well she fucking ate it all so tell her to fuck off and talk to someone who gives a shit’. she went quiet and i was like,, man i hope i didn’t scare her. but like. they cleared their plates. there was no food left. she didn’t call someone over. she didn’t say anything to anyone when they ask if it was okay. why wait until the end?? anyway i told thé barman and he giggled (he’s got a lovely laugh in my opinion bc it sounds like he’s snickering at everything). i was NOT going to tell my manager bc there’s literally no point. same day, later on, a man said his mussels were cold, i took them back and the kitchen cooked them again. i’d barely put the food down before he called me over (this one is a good one bc he hasn’t eaten EVERYTHING before complaining and therefore we can do something about the problem‼️) respect to that guy.

one of the girls gave me a lift home last night n the barman directed her right to my house without ever having been to my house before (his cousin used to live in the flats down the other end, he says) and when i messaged her later on thanking her and saying it was a bit sus that he directed her perfectly to mine n she said ‘hmm ben seems to go to yours more than he does his own home 🤔🤔🤔🤔’ bc apparently he was absolute shite at giving directions to his flat 😭 n e way he’s a sweetheart n he says he doesn’t like christmas anymore n he made me sad after he said that n i said i’d post coal through his letter box n he said i might as well n i was like okay this is an actual problem n now i’m gone be super nice to him at christmas bc he deserves so much more that the hand he’s been dealt. this convo happened after i let him try this herbal tea he said smelt nice n i said it tasted like christmas to me. he’s such a good person (despite literally everything he tells me about his past) n i cannot have him being a little humbug. god i think this crush i joked to you about is becoming a soft core friendship. like every fucking wattpad story out there. me n the girls agreed someone has to love him 🥺

okay im signing off now ily ~ 🌻

i am glad you are feeling better though, nobody deserves to suffer. and nobody deserves to have their emotions invalidated. remember that your emotions matter at all times. <3

yesyes i am still in school !! altough my summer break started on july 1st so i am not that stressed about managing many things at once anymore hh,, also you are working so much ??? damn ?? please remember to take some breaks and relax !! and meet your friends !!! have fun. i know you are saving up money but please dont overwork yourself !

wHY ARE PEOPLE SO RUDE OH MY GOD I SWEAR,,, i learned that while working with people. i just,, it feels like they are all looking down on me just because i am young and work there part-time. like bro,,chill. also i feel kind of bad when they ask me where stuff is and i cant tell them bc i have no idea but at the same time if people were all introverts like me i wouldnt have this problem. :) dfjk jk jk i should improve on that. i wish people were more nice to you !!! who do they think they are ?? like,,,,,why are you rude. this is clearly not your problem.

i like it when people tell you respectfully. like the guy you mentioned. because clearly what are you going to do about the cold food when they’ve eaten it all. where’s the logic.

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE IS OVER AT YOURS EVERY OTHER DAY DFJAKL that’s so funny. also i am bad at giving directions to my flat as well lmaoo poor ladies that drive me home from work sometimes. also i hate christmas as well lmaoo i feel that boy. its a little hard for me and i hope he doesn’t feel as bad during christmas this year when he has you around hihi,,, i fully stan this friendship. altough i am a big fan of friends to lovers if you know what i mean. in the energy of wattpad :))

ily !!!

#you can guess my mental stability by how quick i respond to asks #anyways #💌ask #🌻 anon

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selfcareparker · 4 years

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(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

#lovely anon #BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away #you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit #all at once*#so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond #or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it #so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks #if you want <3 #btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being #(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch #its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao)#*apologis #*from now on #omg

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arckook · 5 years

Text

around and around - five

pairing: cho seungyoun x reader, kim wooseok x reader

au: idolverse

warnings: none

wordcount: 4.6k

description: you’ve had a one-sided crush on your close friend seungyoun for who knows how long, but things don’t stay so black and white when he introduces you to his new groupmate kim wooseok.

Jamiezzz

*sent image*

everyone look at our baby seungyoun at this photoshoot manz looks a fool

Beoneon

I think hyung looks good though?

Hyunggu🤪

Hansol can you read the mood. She’s trashing Seungyoun-hyung because he actually looks good

Beoneon

Oh ya I see it now

Jamiezzz

y/n y/n y/n where are you

respond

dont leave me alone here with these boring men

You sigh, reading over the recent messages in your friends’ group chat. Shaking your head slightly, you set your phone down in your lap, watching through the large mirror in front of you as your hairdresser lays the bleach onto your hair.

“I’m surprised you finally agreed to going blonde!” she says, looking excited to do something more interesting with your head. You tend to stick with a darker look, because it’s easier to take care of.

“I just want a change,” you tell her, smiling.

And it’s true.

You almost feel like one of those girls who has gone through a crazy breakup, and does something drastic to her hair to try and cope emotionally.

You’re just not going through a breakup, and also not doing it yourself so you don’t piss off your management.

You glance down at your phone again and see a few more texts.

Hyunggu🤪

Boring? BORING?

Jamiezzz

boring boys can you tell me if it’s just me who thinks seungyoun and y/n are acting weird

this is a necessary callout bc its making me feel uncomfy

Beoneon

Do you have to make them feel awkward…

Jamiezzz

so you DO agree

Beoneon

I never said that

Hyunggu🤪

I agree

They keep ignoring us in the gc

Whichever one of you shows up here first is not a loser

Jamiezzz

boy are you 12? tf kind of tactic is that

Youn

There’s nothing wrong. Sorry I haven’t kept up much with you guys the past couple of weeks!

Hyunggu🤪

“tF kInD oF tAcTiC iS tHaT”

You read over Seungyoun’s message a few times, your eyes drawn to his name, to his contact image. It’s one of the only pictures of him that you’ve taken yourself- from one of the first times you’d even met him. He put on these dumb sunglasses and pushed his hair all the way back and flat against his head. It looked stupid, but at the time you thought it was funny and endearing enough to set at his photo.

There’s nothing wrong.

For some reason, you can’t bring yourself to believe that he actually feels that way.

You still feel sick to your stomach when you think back to his expression that night, when you told him you didn’t want him to take you home. Not that you didn’t want to be taken home… that it was him that was the problem.

He’s probably confused.

But you can’t explain it. You can’t.

“I think a more silvery blonde will look good on you,” your hairdresser chirps, cutting into your thoughts. “Would you be open to that?”

“Oh, sure,” you answer, knowing your voice sounds a little half-hearted. “Can you cut some layers too? I’m curious what that would look like on me.”

“Totally!” she says, folding up a foil. “It’s going to look so good!”

A few hours later, when your new hair is completely bleached, toned, colored, cut, and blow-dried into a flowy and shiny curtain of silver-blonde, you post a picture of the new look on your instagram, feeling a little better from seeing yourself look so different.

“Y/N-ah!”

You turn to see your group members, who all came from the dorm to get you from the salon so you can all get lunch together.

Eunmi oohs and ahhs at your hair, running her fingers through it. “It actually looks soft!”

“That’s what happens when you don’t bleach the shit out of it like me,” Jiseo says, pinching a piece of her own hair, currently a faded minty green color, and cringing at it.

“Yeah, you should cut it, Unnie. Your ends look bad.” Soohyun says to the oldest, who sticks out her tongue.

“Now three of us are basically blondes,” Eunmi pats your head. “I’m the only brunette left.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N won’t last long,” Jiseo jokes as she takes your hand, slotting her fingers in the spaces between yours. “She’s just going through emotional turmoil.”

“I am so not,” you mutter as the four of you start walking through the building towards the parking garage.

“Y/N-unnie isn’t going through emotional turmoil, she’s just trying to look good for her new man,” Soohyun says, snickering even before Eunmi and Jiseo snap towards you, eyes wide.

“What?” Jiseo exclaims, and all you can do is glare intensely at Soohyun.

“That is also not accurate,” you grit your teeth as you talk.

“It so is,” she sing-songs, swinging her bag in front of her as you all keep walking. “His name is Kim Wooseok. Don’t worry, he’s handsomer than Cho Seungyoun.”

“Don’t say that about Seungyoun,” you tell her with a frown, but she just shrugs.

“It’s not like I called him ugly.”

“Isn’t Kim Wooseok his groupmate?” Eunmi wonders aloud, seemingly over the fact that Soohyun referred to him as your man.

“Yeah,” you answer simply.

“Is that who you’ve been meeting up with the past few weeks?” Jiseo asks, which nearly makes you jump out of your skin, stopping in your tracks with wide eyes. Your leader glances over at you, a knowing smile on her face. “Y/N, did you think I didn’t notice you sneaking out whenever we had time?”

“I…” you trail off, a little embarrassed. “Um… yeah… I thought that.”

“Ooo-hoo-hoo!” Eunmi grins, and shoves you gently. “So it is like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like that,” she says suggestively, and you smack her arm.

“No, it’s-”

“Y/N-unnie sends him selfies,” Soohyun adds, making you groan and the other girls ooh and ahh even more.

“Yah, L/N Y/N!” Jiseo physically grabs and shakes you, her lips pulled into a wide smile. “I know as a leader I should scold you, but this is great news. You can finally get over Seungyoun.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?” you whine, throwing your head back in frustration. “We are just friends!”

“Oooookay,” Jiseo hums, as you all exit the building into the parking garage. “Anyway, check out this spot I got. Someone was leaving right as we came in.”

“Lucky,” you comment as the car comes into view, glad of the change of topic.

The four of you get into the car, you and Soohyun automatically going to the backseat as you have done since the very first time you all went somewhere together.

You glance down at your phone as the girls start discussing where you should go to eat, and are surprised to see another notification from your groupchat.

Jamiezzz

*sent image*

so y/n can post on insta but not respond to her best friends i see how it is😔

Beoneon

Woahhhh Y/N your hair

Jamiezzz

you can compliment but she’s not gonna respond😭😤

You sigh, your front teeth latching onto your bottom lip.

You feel bad, to put it plainly.

It’s not like you’re intentionally trying to ignore all of your friends… you just feel uncomfortable talking when you know Seungyoun will read it.

You

thanks vernon :)

sorry weve had a lot of shoots and stuff recently i dont have much time to be on my phone

Hyunggu🤪

She’s alive

Jamiezzz

wait y/n are you sleeping and eating :(

you were sick

You

im ok

Jamiezzz

take care of urself and ur new awesome hair girlie

You

sure thing

“Y/N-unnie,”

You turn your head to see Soohyun looking over at you, her brows furrowed. “You look stressed.”

“...No,” you smile, shaking your head. You reach over and take her hand, squeezing it. “I’m totally fine.”

“And then they made me wear this,” you find the picture you’d been looking for in your camera roll and turn your phone around, displaying the bizarre outfit you’d had to wear for a recent magazine spread. “Like, what is that? I’m embarrassed that documentation of this even exists.”

“It’s not that bad,” Wooseok hums, taking a bite of his cake. He does it delicately, and with a degree of elegance, like he does pretty much everything.

You huff, turning your phone off and setting it down on the table. “Well, thanks, I guess. I’m still in shock though.”

“By the way, Y/N,” Wooseok starts as you dig your fork into your own dessert, lifting a sizable chunk of the cheesecake to your mouth. “Why do you keep asking for me to meet up with you?”

You frown as soon as the words leave his mouth, setting the fork with your cake back down on the plate. “What?”

He shrugs, but it almost looks tense. Wooseok avoids meeting your eyes as he talks, instead trailing his fork around on the plate in front of him. “We agreed on me not spying on Seungyoun for you anymore. That was the whole reason we met up and ate together, but you’ve still been contacting me.”

You lean back in your chair, regarding him with furrowed brows and teeth latching onto your lower lip. “I don’t… are you saying it’s bothersome to meet up with me?”

Wooseok’s eyes flash up. “I didn’t say that. I’m just-”

“Well it feels like you’re saying that.” you cut him off, grip on your fork tightening as you look down at the table. “You could have just turned me down if you don’t like seeing me.”

“You’re not a bother, Y/N,” Wooseok says, and since you can practically hear the apology in his voice, you glance up to meet his gaze. It’s one of the few times you’ve seen him truly frown. “I shouldn’t have said it that way. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t really know what you’re trying to say,” you mutter, looking away again. “I didn’t just cut you off after the ‘no more Seungyoun updates’ thing because I like you and I want to be friends with you. Sorry if you didn’t feel that way.”

“Y/N-ah,” Wooseok says, clearly trying to get your attention, but you ignore him, because you feel a little hurt. “Y/N-ah. That’s not what I meant.”

“Okay, then what did you mean?” you ask, knowing bitterness is seeping into your tone.

“I just thought that… you might be trying to make up for asking me that favor in the first place.” at this, you look up, confused. Wooseok fidgets a little, which is uncharacteristic for him. “I could tell that you were feeling uncomfortable about it that day that I came to get you from Jimin-ssi’s place. I thought you might be feeling guilty, so I was going to tell you that you didn’t have to be.”

“...Oh.” you say.

It’s quiet for a second, because as a somewhat emotional person, you need a moment to recover from what you thought was about to become a total betrayal of your friendship with Wooseok, and you think he might feel a little awkward.

After you’ve had a minute to contemplate what he just told you, you sit up and take that bite of cheesecake you’d been preparing before, looking at Wooseok with all (probably not all, realistically… but most) of the distress wiped from your face. “You’re kind of right. I did feel guilty about it due to certain circumstances, but that’s not why I keep in touch with you. I just like you. And it’s fun having a friend that isn’t friends with the rest of my friends.”

One corner of Wooseok’s lips turns up, in that almost smirky way that he often does. Subconsciously, you think. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“...Can you apologize one more time though? Because that kind of upset me for a second.”

At this, he chuckles quietly. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

About twenty minutes later, after Wooseok has documented the outing with a picture of you and the food (he says he likes doing that because he can’t post pictures of most of his idol friends on social media) you leave the dessert cafe and head out onto the streets of Seoul together. You’re in a quieter area with a lot of parks, but since it’s nighttime, there’s not many people around aside from the occasional group of teenagers or drunk couple.

Eunmi is currently covering for you by having told your manager that the two of you went out for dinner together even though she’s actually just at her brother’s house, so you’ll have to meet up with her soon and go home. But for now, you’re enjoying walking around in the cold air with Wooseok.

He’s been quiet for a few minutes, though, and you’re considering questioning it when he finally speaks up.

“I know you said that day that you didn’t want to talk about it,” Wooseok starts, looking straight ahead as you two walk through a park. “But I can’t lie that I’m not curious. What made you not want to hear about Seungyoun anymore?”

You glance over at Wooseok, biting hard on your lower lip. You’re not sure if you really want to say.

He looks to the side to meet your gaze, and holds it. “He’s seemed uncomfortable too, the past couple of weeks. He was in his room when I got back after taking you home that night, and Seungwoo-hyung said he went straight there when he came back to the dorm. Did something happen between you two?”

You tug on your fingers, pulling at the fabric of your gloves, and look away from Wooseok, coming to a stop. “Not really. I mean, a little bit, but it wasn’t like…”

You sigh, feeling without being able to see the judgemental look Wooseok is definitely giving you right now. “Basically, Seungyoun-oppa brought a girl with him to this get-together thing. I didn’t even know he was coming so it was kinda a shock, but she seemed nice and Jimin-unnie even said they were friends so I went with it. But this girl got me alone with her at one point and asked…” you sigh again, clasping your hands together. “She wanted me to pretty much do what you were doing for me. See what Seungyoun was saying about her, get him to like her and make her look good to him. I guess that… it just made me regret having asked that of you. Maybe it’s also because I was kind of drunk, but I almost threw up, too.”

“...Oh. I see.” Wooseok says plainly. You glance up to see his expression, expecting the judgemental look, but he just looks… concerned? “You never asked me to make you look good to Seungyoun, though. You just asked me to tell you what he says about you. Those are different.”

You shrug. “I guess. It felt the same, though. That’s why I wanted to tell you that you don’t have to anymore right away. And I really wanted to leave. There was no way I was going to be able to hang out with this girl after she told me that she’s in love with him.”

“In love with him?” Wooseok scoffs. “What’s her name? That seems dramatic to me.”

You crack a smile. “Her name was Sahee.”

Wooseok gives an unimpressed look. “Well he’s never even mentioned her, so I doubt that she’s that important to him.”

You shrug again.

After a moment, Wooseok continues. “So nothing happened at all between you and Seungyoun?”

You rub your arm, sending a grim smile his way. “Geez, you really want to know, don’t you?”

He tucks his hands in his pockets. “It’s just that I can tell something is weird between you two, and I don’t even see you at the same time.”

“Well, it wasn’t much,” you say, accepting your fate and just deciding to tell him. “Sahee must have told him I was feeling sick, so he came to check on me, and wanted to take me home. I told him I’d take a taxi… that was after I texted you. He was insisting at least on taking me downstairs but I didn’t really want to see him in that moment, plus it’s not like I was actually planning on a taxi, so…” you shake your head, sighing once again. “I don’t know. I guess I kind of hurt his feelings in the process.”

“If you were rude to him you should think about apologizing,” Wooseok says bluntly.

Wow. Absolutely no mercy.

“Yeah, I mean… I figured…” you mumble, crossing your arms. “I don’t really know if it was rude though. It was more like… uncalled for.”

“That means rude in most people’s vocabulary,” Wooseok says with a sigh, then starts walking again, which means you have to as well to keep up. “Anyway, he keeps being mopey so even if you don’t apologize, text him or something.”

“Can’t you tell him to text me first?” you mutter, not intending for Wooseok to hear, but you guess that he does by the glare you see him shoot you from your peripherals.

“No.”

You groan. “Okay, maybe tomorrow. No promises though.”

“You’re such a kid,” Wooseok says, but when you look over, he’s smiling. “Want a ride home?”

“You don’t have to,” you say, but he shakes his head.

“Just accept. I’m avoiding going back to the dorm for as long as possible because Eunsang and Dohyon decided they wanted to host a ‘video game night’, and I don’t want my ears to bleed from the inevitable noise.”

You laugh loudly, already being able to imagine how much that would get on a lowkey person like Wooseok’s nerves. “Alright then. I’ll accept the ride home.”

You have a preliminary recording session the next day for your group’s next album, which is set to come out in March. Jiseo wanted you all to come in just to check out the current tracklist the company has agreed on and maybe start recording some vocals to see if it feels right.

You’ve been at it since the morning, and now that it’s lunchtime, you’re sitting in the room connected to the studio with the girls, who are all on their phones like you. You finished eating a while ago, and now you’re just staring at the messages you have with Seungyoun. You’ve never deleted his tab on your phone, so if you scroll up far enough, you’d be able to read the first ever text you sent him. Which was, if you remember correctly: “Hi Seungyoun-sunbaenim! It was nice to meet you :)”. That was the day after you were first introduced.

You sigh, setting your phone down and dropping your forehead to the table.

“What’s up with her?” Jiseo says with her mouth full.

“Maybe you were right about emotional turmoil,” Eunmi muses.

You lift your head up. “Do you have to gossip about me when I’m right here?”

“Duh.” Soohyun says, so you reach over and smack her arm (gently, you may add), which she whines dramatically at.

“What? Did something happen with Kim Wooseok yesterday night?” Eunmi asks, and you groan.

“No, unnie. Can you stop trying to act like he’s my boyfriend?”

“No, I cannot,” she responds, sticking out her tongue.

“Leave her to her emotional issues,” Jiseo says, once again through her chewing. “Eunmi-yah, Soohyun-ah, let’s go back in since you’re done eating. Y/N-ah, just come when you’re ready.”

“Thanks, unnie,” you tell her honestly as she leads the other girls out of the room, Soohyun scrunching up her nose at you before she closes the door.

You grab your phone again and look at the screen.

It’s been a while since you last texted Seungyoun. Not since November. It hits you that it’s been months since you had a real conversation with him, and you feel bad all over again.

Hey :) I just wanted to say sorry if I was acting weird at Jimin-unnie’s house that one time. I felt really sick and I think the alcohol was getting to me.

You type out the message, but your thumb hovers hesitantly over the send button. You end up pressing and holding on delete until the whole thing is gone.

Oppa, sorry for being rude that night. I wasn’t feeling well.

You read that one over a few times, and delete it too.

Seungyoun-oppa, I can’t remember well, but I think I was kind of rude to you that day at Jimin-unnie’s house. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it

You bite your lip, and then in a sudden moment of “who gives a fuck”, just hit send.

And then immediately groan at what you’ve done.

“Dumbass,” you mutter to yourself. “You remember everything.”

With a shake of your head, you get up and start gathering the takeout your group members had left on the table, probably thinking they’d just clean it up after. You throw everything that’s empty away, and then close up the containers of what isn’t done, stacking it in the middle of the table.

And then your phone starts ringing.

You nearly knock over the stack of styrofoam boxes it surprises you so much. You hurriedly walk back to where you were sitting, and pick up your phone, going cold when you see who’s calling.

“Fuck,” you whisper, your screen enveloped by that dumb picture of Seungyoun in the glasses. At least he’s just calling and it’s not Facetime.

You hit answer, unable to actually miss his call on purpose, and bring the phone up to your ear. “Hello?”

“Y/N-ah?” Seungyoun’s voice sounds out immediately, and the tension in your body skyrockets as you sit back down in your chair. “Is this a bad time?”

“No, I have a few minutes,” you answer, glancing through the window in the door to the recording studio, where you can barely see Jiseo and Soohyun with headphones on, Eunmi most likely recording some background vocals.

“Oh, good,” he breathes. “You… you got home okay that night?”

“Yeah, um, there were tons of taxis around,” you nod even though he can’t see you.

“Good,” Seungyoun repeats. “Were you really sick? Or did it pass the next day?”

“I think it was just the alcohol,” you try to reassure him. “I hadn’t drank for at least a month before that.”

“You don’t always drink like that, right?” he asks, then sighs, almost sounding a little strained. “It kind of worries me.”

“Why would you worry about that kind of stuff?” you ask, frowning. “You know I don’t get drunk easily.”

“Yeah, but look at what happened,” Seungyoun retorts. “You looked like you were about to pass out but you didn’t even want me to take you home. Someone in their right mind doesn’t act like that if they’re not totally wasted.”

You nearly let the words slip out: “There was more to it than that”.

But you snap your mouth shut before they do.

“I just feel like…” Seungyoun sighs again, sharper this time. “You never let me be worried about you. You brush it off every single time. It’s frustrating, Y/N.”

You’re at a loss for words.

Just... what?

“That’s not-” you start, then let out your own sharp sigh. “I don’t see how that’s a bad thing, though. You already have so many things going on, and I don’t want to be a burden, so-”

“When did I ever say that you’re a burden?” Seungyoun exclaims, interrupting. “You just assumed that! It’s like you want to be friends, but you don’t want me to actually care about you or be there for you!”

“That is not true,” you snap, your grip on your phone tightening. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Seungyoun.”

“I know exactly what I’m talking about,” he responds, note of frustration evident in his voice. “You haven’t been the same the past few months. You just haven’t.”

“Whatever,” you say, knowing it’s bratty. “You think you know everything but you can’t even see how oblivious you are.”

You know you’re edging on dangerous territory here, but the way he’s talking to you is making a frustration at him swell up that you’ve never felt before.

“Oblivious?” Seungyoun scoffs, a sharp laugh following. “Come on, Y/N.”

“What, you think it’s funny?” you question, hearing the hostility in your voice. “Did you stop to wonder what your friend Sahee was saying to me on the balcony? Did you even notice we were out there together before she went to tell you I was sick?”

“What are you even talking about?” he asks. “This isn’t the point right now-”

“It’s exactly the point, you don’t think you’re oblivious, but you were friends with her for years and never noticed that she’s in love with you!” you snap, your voice rising in volume over the sentence.

Seungyoun is silent after that, and the sense of regret starts to seep in instantly as you realize what you’ve done.

“...What did you say?” he asks, his voice quiet this time. “Sahee told you that she’s in love with me?”

You don’t answer, but he must take it as a yes.

Seungyoun is quiet still, but you can picture him, wherever he is, throwing his head back, pushing his hair through his fingers in agitation.

“Fuck,” he finally mumbles.

“I’m sorry,” you say, your voice small as your throat starts to close up. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No fucking kidding, Y/N,” Seungyoun says sharply. You can hear his grit teeth through the closed sound of his words.

You breathe in a heavy breath, trying not to start crying even though you can feel the tears welling up. “I’m sorry. Oppa, just pretend I didn’t say that-”

“L/N F/N,” he says, and you stop immediately. “Just don’t.”

You sniffle, holding the phone away from you so he can’t hear you as the tears start rolling down your cheeks.

“Fuck,” you hear Seungyoun repeat. “Fuck, I can’t believe this… all that time and she never told me?”

You hold back a sob, almost choking on it.

It almost sounds like he’s talking about you.

This is why he can never find out.

This is why you’ll never be able to tell him.

You let out just the first broken part of the kind of shuddering breath you take when you’re crying, and Seungyoun’s mumbling stops.

“Shit, Y/N-ah? Are you crying?”

You can’t find the voice to answer him, just trying hard not to openly cry.

“Y/N-ah,” he repeats. You hear Wooseok’s voice in your head from yesterday. Y/N-ah. That’s not what I meant.

“Y/N-ah, please don’t cry. Fuck, fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” you manage to get out, your voice tight and thin.

“No, it’s okay,” Seungyoun says quickly. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I’m just shocked, listen, it’s okay, okay? Y/N-ah, don’t cry. I swear I’m not mad.”

“I’ll hang up now,” you say, taking another shuddering breath. “Please don’t tell Sahee I told you.”

“Don’t hang up,” Seungyoun scrambles to tell you. “L/N F/N, please don’t hang up right now-”

You pull the phone away from your face and tap the red button, and set it facedown on the table. It starts ringing again right away.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Jiseo’s voice sounds out from the doorway to the recording studio. You look up, and she gasps. “Yah, Y/N! Why are you crying?”

“Unnie,” you whimper, wiping at your eyes. “My heart really hurts right now.”

“Hey!” Jiseo shouts into the other room. “Everyone get in here!”

She walks over to your, pulling another chair up and quickly wrapping her arms around you, the ringing of your phone becoming background noise. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

Ring.

It doesn’t feel okay to you.

You are still in love with Cho Seungyoun.

And he will never know.

233 notes · View notes