#i know i'm on my wyll run rn but nothing new has happened yet so

[cannibalisticskittles]

amity enjoys feeling useful and helpful -- deeply, pathologically so -- but she's... not actually all that susceptible to praise because she doubts it, as a rule

you try plying her with compliments and she thinks 'aww, that's not true at all, but you are sweet to say so :)'

she recognizes when people are trying to butter her up/otherwise manipulate her into doing something, but there's no negative feelings attached to it -- she's still gonna help you. would be nice if you didn't feel like you had to go through a whole song and dance to get her help, but she knows that's how these things tend to go and that this sort of preamble tends to be expected first. and if you really want or need something done for you, it's only natural to try to get people to help you, right? can't fault you for manipulation attempts.

you don't have to genuinely believe she's beautiful or clever to deserve her help, and if you say you think she is, well. it's not true, obviously. but it's clearly born out of your better nature to say so. you are choosing to say something kind, even if you don't really think so.

amity very much believes that who you are is much more what you do than what you think.

this is also why she'll forge ahead in situations that are probably, almost certainly, going to lead to danger or harm -- yes, they are probably just asking her to go on ahead so they can dip and leave her behind. yes, she sees the flash of the knife behind their back. yes, there is very little reason to be acting this way if they do not intend to do her harm.

but it's possible. and she won't crush that possibility.

she will react -- she'll ready a light spell in anticipation of that door slamming behind her and trapping her, she'll tense up and be prepared to dodge. but she doesn't strike first.

it's the scorpion and the frog again -- yes, she sees the inherent danger. but perhaps you will choose to go against those violent impulses. and if not, well, she's pretty good at swimming and she carries around antivenin for just such an occasion, so that she can afford the risk.

this is also why everything with astarion is truly so funny. he comes on so strong with his compliments that amity does not believe a single word of it for even a second. she decides to trust him, but in spite of it, not because of it.

"'beautiful'?? wow he must really be desperate to earn my trust. poor thing. wish he didn't feel the need to lie so egregiously." and the whole thing about 'waiting to have you since the moment i saw you?' no way. there's no truth to it. but that's okay; the purpose of those sort of flowery words is to make the person on the receiving end feel good, so even if she knows it's a baldfaced lie, there's no harm in it, right?

[sorcerous-caress]

I thought I heard the Old Man say

"Leave her, Johnny, leave her"

Tomorrow ye will get your pay

And it's time for us to leave her

Ever since they've saved Wyll’s father there's been…a aching feeling in her chest, it's not a secret that she didn't deserve Wyll. Yet, everytime she met his father's eyes it becomes more apparent.

Kira knows her reputation as a captain, hailing from Luskan and a deadly woman of the Trackless Sea. Being compared to a fearsome hag, that feeds off trouble and turmoil. She's cleared the deck of a military galleon like it were nothing and made Luskan fur traders bleed their weight in gold.

Not the type of woman you want your son gallivanting around, let alone share his bed with.

It's obvious that Ulder suspects she'll turncoat and leave as soon a she can reap the spoils of victory.

she's not paranoid, she swears.

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her

For the voyage is long and the winds don't blow

And it's time for us to leave her

It was times like these she would sing, it had become a regular route for her to lull Wyll to sleep after lovemaking. Feeling the sweat on his skin slowly dry under her fingers as they lovingly traced each mole and scar.

This night is different, she's alone on the deck of her ship strumming her lute aimlessly singing a shanty. Thankfully, when she was taken onto the nautiloid her crew actually manage to make it to Port with her ship not damaged.

I hate to sail on this rotten tub

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

No grog allowed and rotten grub

And it's time for us to leave her

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her

For the voyage is long and the winds don't blow

And it's time for us to leave her

Showing off her pride and joy to Wyll was pure elation at first, gifting furs, jewelry and his favorite rum; and finishing off the night with a private dance on deck, pressing kisses to his dimples.

It wasn't until she took him to bed that foul truths began swimming through her head, were those gifts originated from.

Not every treasure she plundered came from a fellow pirate, corrupt trader or warlord..There was alot of innocent blood mixed in with her gold and crew.

Kira won't lie it never really bothered her much, in this life you have to seize every opportunity. But, now that she has Wyll it all feels akin to rot in her soul, like she's swindling Lady Luck herself by keeping him by her side.

We swear by rote for want of more

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

But now we're through so we'll go on shore

And it's time for us to leave her

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her

For the voyage is long and the winds don't blow

And it's time for us to leave her

Wyll is a great man and he deserves a woman far better than her..

-githzerai anon

Song: Leave Her, Johnny Song by Michel Schrey and Seán Dagher

hehe, self-doubt angst time

I feel like in a better run than my original, Kira would've wanted to be a better person for Wyll. But unfortunately for her I fucked up, made her worse and paired her with Minthara.

I'm going to avoid my mod folder and try and finish WIPS.

God that was mesmerising anon, song fics are always a favourite of mine, great job <3.

Also is there a title you'd like me to use for each fic? I don't want to take the liberty to title them myself since you've put so much effort into them.

I think doomed love stories are always interesting, you know they won't make it but a part of you can't help but read it and hope for the best. It's like attempting to reach the sun, you know it's impossible but you have to keep trying.

Good choice avoiding the mod folder because a new modpocalypse is happening rn, i am hanging by a thread. Everything is broken, there are hundreds of threads waiting for that one person to update their very important mod that 90% of the other mods depend on.