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#i know its wednesday but this ones really good i want people to see it
maythray · 1 year
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[ID: A four-panel comic of a faceless stick figure and its thoughts during Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. On Friday, the panel says "weekend time!". On Saturday, there are three stick figures and it says "i love spending time with you guys!" On Sunday, the stick figure is holding a striped cat to its face, with a heart floating above them. Here, the text reads "im happy i have you". On Monday, there is a close-up of the stick figure and the text reads, "i had a good weekend, not every day is going to be good but i cherish the ones that are." End ID]
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thing3 · 2 years
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long post ahead el oh el
this specific phrase came to mind, don't know if it was my own or not but i don't think thats too important:
if god doesn't exist, then its up to us
to me this makes so much sense, and doesn't seem to be a completely lone idea of faith. its how i try to navigate things at least because the idea of not doing what i can to help someone or alleviate some small problem (even if only for a moment) is morally reprehensible; that its the most corrupting thing you can do to your own self to overlook or dismiss that y o u can do something for your fellow person. the notion that the best we can do is pass it off to a god or gods to fix, is so wrong to me? the platitude of "thoughts and prayers" is the best example of this.
i really believe that our humanity is linked to the fact that we have this empathy and care for others that isn't and shouldn't and can't be linked to things external- even if it is a higher power. we are like the gods and the gods are like us, but we aren't the same. i am a person and you are a person, and that inherent value and worthiness of personhood is what connects and sustains us beyond anything else the world puts onto us.
if god doesn't exist, then its up to us.
we have the ability and more importantly the duty to make the world better. whether its being good stewards of the land we live on, or building community, or choosing one single act of kindness each day. in small ways, in far reaching ways. without motivation of a return on our actions. if theres no reward, do it anyway. what's stopping us?
if there's no prize at the end, then there's no punishment. if the absense of a higher power means that nothing matters, then make it matter. if life is meaningless and unfair, then create your own meaning and make it fair. its fascinating to me how the moral atheist can really throw people and mess with their notion of faith, because from my perspective it makes sense. it makes sense that the professed faithless one is the one with the most moral drive. why? because its what they want to do- not because some book or proverb or leader says to. if anything, i feel reaffirmed in my beliefs because even if there is nothing and everything i think and experience on this path can be explained away, i've not lost anything.
another conundrum people try to toss out there is the "if no god, if no threat of eternal punishment or complete oblivion, whats stopping you from doing wrong?". the flipside is also true. if there's no god, no punishment, no "reward", just nothingness after, what's stopping you from doing good? it seems nonsensical to create this dichotomy of "only good and right if god/s" when we have proof to the contrary.
i'll leave one final thought because i think i've rambled enough- looking back at my life, before this path, and now during, i know that changing how i look at the world and how i look at divinity has filled me with such compassion for others. its lifted so much misery from my life, it literally feels a total transformation of self. for a long time i was told to be content in my misery, in my feelings of hopelessness, to put away my anger, to just accept the world as is because god wills it to be that way or thats just the plan that terrible things are happening. i walked the world and said "god i'm angry, i feel helpless what do i do?" and was met with "don't feel that way" and i kept walking until i said once again "god i'm angry and i feel helpless, what do i do?" and heard "be angry, i'll use it. you're allowed to feel that way, i'll show you how to use it".
if god doesn't exist, then its up to me.
#just in case i forgot its wednesday 😂 woke up with Thoughts today#for the record and to not clog up the post#i was christian for about a decade of my life which is Especially funny because now i can really pinpoint all the times and places#that odin was Right There all along. i knew of polytheism before christianity and i dont think its any accident.#maybe its a stretch to say but in all of that and perhaps in a way it was like a parent so carefully holding onto their child who wants#to look over the edge of a tall bridge just to see whats there. that i can look all i want but i was being held onto so tightly i wouldnt#fall into this completely. also for the record: i was Not Good at being a christian. i questioned i rebuked many parts of the doctrine#i refused to believe that no other faith could be true and that no other god existed#i hated how much of christianity seemed to be focused on fear and that being upset is wrong but also its okay things are bad if god says#i make the joke that christianity is a death-obsessed cult of misery but also i stand by that theres truth to it otherwise.#there's thousands of choices to be made in this world and any more i cannot fathom why anyone would choose fear and sadness and devastation#when you can choose joy and meaning and growth and prosperity Right Now#this is also one of the reasons i undersrand but push back against the idea that /all/ religion is a cult and bad for people#because there are plenty of examples that Arent that way and in my own life it isnt that its simply wrong to say otherwise#its a lifestyle and a tool as much as any idea is. this is in no way to say that no belief is without fault or flaw#but dont throw in Everything else becausw if one or parta of one#final sidebar on the Essay now in the tags because i couldnt connect this fully in to the post (whoops)#i think that any faith worth following should have the caveat that maybe this isnt all there is or maybe we will find that we were wrong#because theres no way to know until we find out. maybe im currently wrong! but ill find out (or i wont)
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emptyemptycorners · 1 year
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ok. in the tags of a post about velma and wednesday i said i wasn't gonna look up the velma show bc ppl made it sound rlly bad
i guess it doesn't help that i have zero background knowledge on Mindy Kaling, and even less on any other people involved
but way too much of the comments im seeing even on our beloved hellsite are unironically saying its "too woke and feminist" and that just makes me more hesitant to think poorly of it.
im personally not much of an adult cartoon fan but maybe i'll have to just watch this one to see for myself.
also. i disagree with everyone getting mad at the character design for shaggy. i saw some other fanart of a black shaggy that i thought were also cool but i see zero problem with the show's shaggy. he looks like a shaggy to me, i dont see the problem... unless its just racism vaguely hidden by "but these designs are better" bc like ?? would they be? you're complaining about this design and i dont get it at all so like maybe you just would be complaining anyway...yikes
maybe i will update after i watch, not that my opinion matters or anything lmao i guess i feel guilty for judging it immediately upon learning of its existence (and i didnt even know anything about it or the characters yet so like rlly why did i just take their word for it smh)
#im not hashtagging it bc i dont care to be bombarded with arguments#im white so i dont really have much to say other than at first glance i thought there was real criticism#but looking more into it i think it really is a lot of racism that is creating this 'hate'#in which case i want no part of that. i actually have zero issue with any of the character designs that i've seen#maybe they are pushing stereotypes idk tho bc i havent watched it yet...#but also i feel weird that everyone says its good fred is still white bc he has to be ??? like idk maybe im not enough of a scoob fan#to know why someone would say that#but it feels weird to me to say that. anyway. like i said im not tagging this bc i just dont want drama#i just wanted to put it out here that im taking back my initial statement of not wanting to watch it#i had literally JUST heard of it and people were saying it was bad so i was like oh what i didnt know that was a thing but prob wont see it#now?? now i think maybe i will watch it just to understand#like maybe i should not have even rb'd that post about the shows bc tbh i didn't even rlly dislike the wednesday show#like sure its different but on its own it was a fun watch?#and i mean that one is tim burton so like if thats an issue for you then i get it but other than that i didnt hate#my fav character in the wednesday show was the bee keeper omg i love him#i forget names smh i dont even remember her roommates name so forgive me lmaoo#but anyway yeah i think i'll watch the show and see if i think its as bad as some ppl are claiming ...#based on how i feel about wednesday im thinking maybe its not as bad as ppl are saying either
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iiotic · 2 months
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。‧General dating headcanons ༻༉
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Alastor x Gn! Reader
༉‧.tw - Ep 5 Spoilers, slight nsfw, mentions of cannibalism.
༉‧.words - 0.7k
༉‧.a/n - Just general dating headcanons for my boy </3 I apologize for any mistakes English is not my first language
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At first you gained his respect for respecting his boundaries and not stepping over the line and in return he respects yours (not really). Somehow you ended up dating?? So lucky you.
Alastor is such a gentleman. He'd treat you like royalty!!
He adores cooking for everyone but when he'd cook for you Alastor be extra careful to not fuck things up and add extra flavours. Loves making Jambalaya for you!! Would definitely tell you all the stories about him and his mom cooking together.
I bet he'd love to cook or bake with you. I mean just look at you smiling and giggling like a child!! Adorable (in a good way)
Would try atleast one time to make you try demon meat. If you like it he's very pleased but if not?? He's fine with it too. Not everyone likes the taste of it.
Your relationship would be private so PDA is off the table. Maybe linking your arms together, a hand on the waist or a quick kiss on the cheek when no one is looking. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you but he has a high status in hell. He wouldn't want you to be a target for other overlords or sinners.
At first only Rosie would know about your relationship but as time passed by Charlie found out and passed the information to Vaggie then Vagatha accidentally fucked up and passed the information to Angel Dust and again and again. Mimzy somehow found out too.
And as a little revenge for Alastor from kicking her out of the hotel (ep 5) she passed the info to other overlords.
So now sinners are aware of you guys being together and The Radio Demon is not very pleased with it. He started to get a tiny bit more protective of you then he was before. However when someone saw you it leaded to them running off, scattering because they're absolutely terrified of what could happen to them if they did anything and I mean anything wrong in your presence.
They looked at you wrong.. Oops where did their eyes went? They touched you without your permission. Suddenly their arms are nowhere to be found! They tried to hit on you and now they are missing. I wonder where they could be??
As i said he is a gentleman!! Opening doors for you, lending you his coat when you're cold, pulling out the chair and kissing the back of your hand.
Every Wednesday he'd bring you a bouquet and each one of the flowers he'd choose has its meaning. Isn't it cute??
His love language is Acts of service and quality time. Alastor loves when you bring him black coffee or something to eat when he is broadcasting someone's screams on the radio when he didn't even ask you for it. Like what do you mean you remember his daily hours of his "work".
Takes you out on dates without an accasion though he prefers to keep it private then to go to a club. He may take you out on a walk in the garden full of red roses and a buetiful fountain however Alastor would also love to cook you your favourite meal and eat it for as an romantic dinner with youuuuu!!
I don't think that even in private he's a cuddler, he doesn't like psychical touch but doesn't mind it from people he is close with. Maybe if he is feeling a little extra today he'd let you hug him as a good morning. In return he'd kiss the back of your hand.
Not exactly much of a kisser either pheraps a quick peck on the cheek or on the forehead?? This doesn't include the times he's feeling extra romantic and dips you in a long passionate kiss. But he's not the time to do full make out session yk??
One day Alastor would tell you that he likes pineapples on pizza and if you're not a big fan of it (me neither) you would be like WHAAAAT.
Alastor loves seeing you in his clothes it's just looking cute on you and kinda turns him on
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bumblequinn · 5 months
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on a more personal note: death grips were and are a pretty major source of inspiration for my own music. not in the sense of "i like this sound so i'm going to ape it," but in the sense of "oh i can get this weird with it if i really want to."
a decent chunk of the music in SLARPG would have been a lot more restrained and self-conscious if it weren't all the death gripses out there. sophie, knower, joanna wang, wednesday campanella, KKB, lemon demon... these artists and countless others helped to show me that it's okay and even extremely cool to get weird with it.
i'm reminded of this comment on one of my tracks in particular:
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and look, part of me thinks this is more or less harmless, right? i even pinned it, because it made me chuckle. it's all in good fun! (seriously, don't go causing any trouble over a comment like this. i do not condone that kind of harassment.)
and yet - if i stop to think about it a second longer, i start to ask: what is this kind of joke really saying? "this sucks." "turn that shit off." and... i dunno, that feels bad, you know? i was bouncing in my seat grooving to that track when i was making it. i like what i made. that's why i made it.
every time i make music, i'm making something i want to hear but that doesn't exist yet. i'm incredibly, stupidly lucky that i get to do that, and that other people connect with it. but when the end result of that effort is a "joke" like "this is so weird omg, put something normal on," well...
even as a joke that's enough to make me second guess myself the next time i make music. it's enough to make me change the preview track for the album to something a bit tamer so i don't "scare off" first-time listeners. that feels like capitulating, and capitulating is the opposite of authentic self expression.
i have much, much weirder, more difficult and challenging ideas that i have yet to explore and put out there because i already feel like enough of a pariah just as a trans woman in the world.
i'd like to find the inner courage and esteem to create that art without softening its edges, trying to appease, or apologizing for myself. i think i'll get there. i'm already closer than i used to be. but seeing more people respect weird art, rather than quip about about its strangeness, would be a start. a girl can dream.
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dilemmaontwolegs · 7 months
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Hey! Love the temptation danny story so much! Can i have a follow up request where reader has to go home for vacation due to a family reunion while danny is off somewhere for testing and she tells danny that its ok that she goes alone since he is busy but he keeps insisting that they should go together but reader has already booked a flight and the next following days while the family reunion is going on danny just arrives and everyone gets so starstruck by him and he is so possessive of her while the reunion is going on, LOVE THE FICS BTW YOU ARE AN AWESOME WRITER
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The Taste of Temptation || DR3 {6}
Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, angst, smut, fluff (two part request) WC: 3.4K F1 Masterlist Story: One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven Snapshots: One || Two || Three || Four || Five
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Wednesday “Honestly, it’s fine,” you reassured him for the seemingly hundredth time. 
Daniel’s suitcase was at the door beside yours except the planes you were leaving from in Nice were going in two very different directions.
“It’s not fine,” he muttered as he checked his Passport was in his back pocket before pulling you into his arms. “I was looking forward to seeing your family again. They’re going to be mine soon too.”
You smiled at the reminder and brushed your thumb over the engagement ring. “You’ll see them at Christmas.”
“Not everyone,” he pointed out. The Christmas get together was going to have both of your immediate family members, with his flying out from Australia. “I want to talk to your cousins.”
“What? Why?” You pulled back to see the mischievous look in his eyes and the smile that promised he was up to something.
“Cousins always tell the truth,” he chuckled. “And I want to know what you were really like as a kid.”
“I was a little angel.”
His hands roamed over your body to settle on your ass and he pulled you flush against him as he teased, “What happened?” 
You giggled as you rose on your tiptoes and grazed your nose along his throat before resting your lips on his jaw as you teased him right back, “I fell for a man with a wicked tongue.”
You could see the darkening in his eyes and his lips parted with a filthy suggestion on the tip of his tongue but the blaring of an alarm from his jeans drew a groan out instead. “I’m going to have blue balls for the flight now.”
“You should probably take care of that.”
“It’s a 30 minute drive to the airport, Kitten, you could take care of it along the way.”
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It was a strange feeling returning to the town you had grown up in. The streets remained the same, trees lining the curb and kids playing in the front yards, but the faces were all unrecognisable. Like you, most of the people you knew had fled as soon as they finished high school, searching for something bigger than what this place could offer. 
Nearly every parking space on the street was taken by your extended family but your dad had saved one for you near the house with the recycling bin. It was a good thing too because Daniel had kind of spoiled you as he walked you to your boarding gate. He hadn’t been able to resist dragging you into the duty free shops in the terminal and now the extra baggage was missing the pair of hands that carried it for you. You had told him it was too much but he just kissed you until you forgot about arguing. It wasn’t fair, you could never win an argument when he cheated like that. 
You got the feeling everyone had been waiting for you because the moment your car door closed they all filed out of the house to come and help with your luggage.
“There’s the city-slicker, welcome home,” Vanessa greeted with a kiss on your cheek before pouting as she saw the empty front seat. “Damn, thought you were bringing the sugar daddy with you.”
“Don’t call him that, he’s not my sugar daddy,” you warned with a roll of your eyes but your cousin clearly wasn’t paying attention. “Daniel is with the Red Bull guys in Japan for some big event. He wishes he could come but they called in everyone: Scotty, Liam, Mad Mike, they all had to be there too. ”
Your dad took the suitcase from your hand and nodded understandingly. “That’s a shame, but at least my little girl has finally come home.”
Your bedroom hadn’t changed all that much since you left to go to university and you could see the pin pricks and faded lines in the wallpaper outlining where your posters used to be. 
“Ohh, this is gorgeous,” Nessa grinned as she helped herself to the garment bags, the tags still on the designer clothes Daniel had bought you. “So am I going to meet this not-your-sugar-daddy before the wedding?”
“You could come to Christmas if you want, and go ahead, try it on,” you sighed before flinching at the squeak she made before abandoning her clothes like you were still kids and stepping into the first dress. “Nice to see you haven’t outgrown stealing my clothes.”
“There’s a reason we are the same size, it's fate. Karma herself said, Nessa, you deserve to wear nice things too,” she joked as she turned around. “Do me up?”
“You are so full of shit,” you laughed as you zipped her up. “Am I going to get that back?”
“Do you have a sugar daddy?”
“No.”
“Well there's your answer.” 
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Friday “Hey Kitten,” Daniel greeted with a bright smile when the video call connected. “How’s it going?”
You leaned the phone against your mirror so you could continue to apply your makeup and held up two shades of lipstick. “Just getting ready to go out with Nessa. How’s the event? I haven’t seen many pictures.”
“Left hand, and you won’t - they are keeping everything under wraps until they have finished filming. Think the Melbourne GP promo vid, but bigger…”
You opened the lipstick he chose, the one you knew he would since he always complimented the shade on you - and when it transferred to his skin too. He fell silent as he watched you lean closer into the mirror, leaving the swell of your breasts filling his screen.
“Kitten…I wish I was there,” he sighed when you pulled back and blew him a kiss to show the colour off. 
“I wish you were here too,” you admitted, taking the phone with you as you sat on the bed and hugged your pillow. “Two days down, four to go.”
“You’re still counting in days? I’m counting in hours, fuck it, minutes.” He sent you a screenshot and you saw the countdown timer on his homescreen, the hours and minutes slowly ticking away until you were reunited. “Where are you and Nessa going? Is Carter going too?”
You shook your head at the question. Vanessa’s brother was far too busy with his new girlfriend to want to go to the local bar. “He’s too cool to hang out with us at the Old Oak Inn.”
Daniel sat up a little straighter and didn’t appear too pleased at the news. “Is anyone going with you?”
“Ness.”
“You know what I mean,” he huffed, “who is going to look out for you two?”
“Everyone knows everyone here, baby, we’ll be fine.” You gave him a smile as your chest warmed with the same gooey feeling you got every time he worried about you. “I love you, my protective he-man.”
“I love you too, Kitten,” his face softened until he heard Max calling his name outside his hotel door. “Send me lots of pictures, baby, I wanna see my gorgeous girl having fun.”
Nessa burst into the room as you ended the call and ripped the pillow away from your arms. “Get up, bitch, the taxi is here.”
The bar had changed a lot since you last went, the atmosphere more akin to a club than a pub, and you narrowed your eyes at Nessa who just grinned back. “You said it was a chill night out.”
“I lied,” she said with a shrug. “We can go back if you’d rather get in a fight over monopoly?”
 You cringed at the thought so she dragged you through the busy room and straight to the bar. 
“Holy shit, we have royalty in the house,” an old school friend greeted as he tended to the bar. “Did Monaco get too busy?”
“Not quite, Mark, I’m just back for a family reunion.” He placed your old favourite drink down without having to ask and you quirked an eyebrow at it.
“I have a good memory, but it might taste better than it did in the old plastic cups we drank out of,” he laughed before pouring a bourbon for Nessa. “Milady.”
He wandered off to serve someone else and you turned to Nessa. “You and Mark?”
“A few times, you know, just a bit of fun,” she said as she winked at him when he glanced back. “Oh, head down, Andrew’s here.”
You ducked into her arms and kept your head down until she said you were safe and sighed with relief. “Jesus, everyone really does come here. Is there any other bar around?”
“If you want to catch an STD off the bar top, sure. Plus, your high school sweetheart will probably find his way to Ruby’s later anyway.”
“We dated for like four months, I wouldn’t call him my highschool sweetheart,” you scoffed. 
Nessa’s brow lifted. “Need I remind you he took your V Card? Your first always has a teeny tiny place in your heart.”
“Not mine, and Danny took my A Card so that trumps it.”
“A Card…?” she trailed off before her eyes widened in realisation. “Ew gross. Did it hurt?”
“I’m not telling you anything.”
“Whatever, we both know how you get after a few drinks.” She grabbed your phone and held it up as she raised her glass and you clinked them together before tipping them back. “Perfect. And done.”
You barely caught your phone as she carelessly tossed it back and you saw she hadn’t sent it to Danny but uploaded it to Instagram. “Fucksake, Nessa, you left the location on.” 
You had learned quite quickly that most of the people that followed you only used it to see updates Daniel might not have posted himself, including using the locations of your posts thinking Daniel would be with you. It had led to a few scary situations before you learned to keep your location off or at least generalised - but she had tagged the Old Oak Inn.
Taking another photo with a pout, you posted it with the caption, ‘half of my soul is half a world away, miss you danielricciardo’ and hoped it would stop some people within driving distance from making the pointless journey hoping to see Danny.
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You opened the photo again and zoomed in to see Andrew in the background, his eyes clearly looking at your ass when the camera snapped.
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“What made you happy all of a sudden?” Nessa asked as she returned with fresh drinks.
“Danny’s on his way,” you giggled nervously as you clutched your phone to your chest.
“I thought he couldn’t come.”
“He couldn’t, and he shouldn’t, but I don’t think there’s anyone with the balls to stop him. He can be a little stubborn sometimes.” It was a severe understatement and if he wasn’t such a good driver you were certain he would have been fired for some of the escapades he found himself in because he got a little overprotective and possessive when he was away from you. “Christian Horner offered me a job just so I could be wherever Daniel was and keep him in line, but I think it was a joke.”
“You need to accept it, joke or not, your man is whipped for you.”
You took a sip of your drink before you spilled the truth about who really did the whipping and pondered the idea you had initially laughed off. You could still work a similar role with Red Bull, so maybe it shouldn’t have been brushed off so quickly. For tonight, you would focus on having fun with Nessa and catching up with old friends.
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Saturday You groaned at the dawn light that brightened the room as the curtains were ripped aside and rolled over. “Nessa, piss off.”
“Something bothering you, kitten?”
You probably looked like a zombie coming to life as you threw your blankets back and rushed up to meet Daniel as he climbed onto the bed. The old frame creaked unused to the extra weight on it but you didn’t care if it collapsed, you weren’t letting go of Daniel once he was in your arms. 
“You’re actually here,” you murmured against his lips when you finally broke apart to breathe. You had kept looking over your shoulder all night expecting him to appear but when the bar closed and he still hadn’t arrived your hope had simmered down.
His smile was blinding as he brushed your messy hair back and buried his face in your neck with a deep inhale. He was a cat high on catnip the moment his nose brushed your racing pulse and he guided you back into the sheets as he caged you beneath him. “Told you I’d see you soon.”
“My parent’s room is next door,” you whispered as his hips settled between your legs and he teased you when he rolled them against you.
“Then I suggest you find something to bite,” he chuckled, his fingers slipping into your panties and feeling how your body had instantly reacted to his touch, “because I have missed you so much. I just need to feel you around me. right now.”
His lips parted and he sighed at the pretty sight as he dragged your panties down your legs. “There’s my pretty kitty,” he mused as he shuffled down the bed so he could settle between your legs, kissing your thighs softly as he reacquainted himself after three days apart. “Have you missed me?”
“Like crazy.”
“She thinks I’m talking to her,” he whispered and you felt the warmth of his breath on the sensitive spot he was confessing to. You giggled at the silly man and squirmed with the silent plea for him to stop talking and do more, the bed creaking with the movement. Daniel grabbed your hips and held them still so the bed fell silent before shaking his head with an amused smirk. “Impatient little minx.”
Rather than take the taste you knew he wanted, he flipped you onto your knees and pushed your head into the pillow to silence the sounds that spilled forth as he curled two fingers into your cunt. A few flicks of his wrist were the only preparation he gave your body before his shorts were halfway down his thighs and he replaced his fingers with his cock. 
Your pillow heated with the heavy moan that filled it and it grew damp as your teeth clamped down on the satin slip. It had only been three days but the burn of the stretch danced the fine line between pleasure and pain until he reached around your hip and found your clit. 
“Fuck you’re tight, kitten,” Daniel grunted, his lip almost bleeding as he bit it to keep quiet and pulled back a little so you could acclimate to his size again. “You okay, baby?”
You answered by pushing yourself back, needing him as much as he needed you, and you relished in the full feeling when your ass met his body. His heavy breathing broke the quiet morning and he covered your back, pressing his lips to your spine and following the line to your neck. 
“Lay down for me.”
Unwilling to part with you for a moment, he helped you onto your stomach and carefully shifted until his legs were outside of yours and your thighs pressed together. The pillow muffled your moans as the position increased the feeling of fullness and he rode you with long smooth strokes, keeping the bed from creaking.
“Three days was too much, kitten,” he confessed quietly as he kissed your shoulder. “I can’t go a day without you. Want you with me, always.”
Despite the exhaustion of the late night and early wake up, you weren’t able to get back to sleep, even with Daniel there to spoon you. A knock at your door had put an end to that plan and you were reminded that everyone was getting ready to go to the lake for a day out on the water.
Everyone except Vanessa were surprised to see Daniel joining you for breakfast and you got the best pick of the cooked meal while they all fawned over the celebrity.
“Alright, alright, leave him be,” you said as you moved them along and handed him a plate you had filled before sitting on his lap. Seats were in short supply with so many people coming and going that you were happy to share one. “I know he’s a bit weird but try to treat him normally.”
“Morning, Sugar,” Nessa teased quietly as she took the seat beside him.
“Ness…meet Daniel, officially,” you said, since she had seen him on a video call.
“We met this morning, didn’t we, Sugar? Who do you think let him in? We had a great chat about you.”
She was finding it too amusing and Daniel’s shoulder bounced with a laugh as he stuffed bacon into his mouth to avoid commenting. “I thought you were joking.”
“I told you, cousins always tell the truth,” he chuckled before kissing your cheek. “She didn’t tell me anything new though; I already knew you were smart and beautiful.”
“She was just saying that so she could keep the Givenchy dress she stole.”
“Pfft, not true, but I can totally play it up if you want to part with the Jimmy Choos too.” She turned her attention to Daniel who had been thoroughly enjoying the interaction while idly massaging your hip. “Did she tell you that she climbed up a tree to save a cat? The fire department gave her a medal for it. Or this one time she single-handedly stopped a bank robbery.”
“Oh my god,” you snorted at the absurdity.
“Don’t get me started on how she took down an international crime syndicate with a muscle car.”
“Who am I? Vin Diesel? Just shut up.”
“No, no, give me more,” Daniel encouraged. “I thought Lando was imaginative but this is next level.”
You could see the moment her train of thought was lost and a sly smile grew. “Think you could introduce me?”
“To Lando? No way, you would eat him alive.”
“Come on, I introduced you to Drew so you owe me.” You felt Danny’s hand stop the calming circles and wished she had kept her mouth shut as he asked who Drew was. “Andrew, her first boyfriend, well only boyfriend before you, I thought you would have known, my bad.”
Breakfast was fairly quiet after that and you knew Daniel had questions he was just waiting to ask when he got you alone. Fortunately, you could put them off for a few hours as you all set off to the lake, the distraction of you in a bikini enough to placate him in the meantime.
“So this Andrew…” he stated as he pulled you into his arms and waded out deeper into the warm water. “Why haven’t I heard about him?”
“Because it was years ago?”
“Did you love him?”
“I was 17, I didn’t know what love was,” you laughed as you combed your fingers through his hair. “Are you jealous?”
“No,” he scoffed, but it was clearly a lie.
“Baby, you’re the only man I have ever loved, and the only one I will ever love - with one exception.” His eyes narrowed and you giggled as you kissed his cheek. “If we have a kid someday and it’s a boy, then I would love him too.”
The corners of his eyes wrinkled with the smile that split his face. “I suppose I could live with that.”
“Good, so forget about Andrew. You are everything I want and need.”
“So long as I don’t have to cross paths with the bastard that took your innocence.”
There were only two days left before you flew back to Monaco, what were the chances?
Click here for part seven.
Taglist {1}: @moonvr @copper-boom @yunnie-f1 @ophcelia @lightsoutletsgo @alwaysclassyeagle @neiich @omgsuperstarg @starwarssavy23 @fdl305 @faeb1tch42069 @sweetestrose569 @pleasantducktimetravel @dr3lover @writerscurse @christianpulisic10 @alexisquinnlee-bc @purplephantomwolf @belennasif @ryiamarie @mickslover @tyna-19 @destourtereaux @sunf1ower16 @octaviareina @laneyspaulding19 @booknerd2004-blog @mimimarvelingmarvel @chonkybonky @jpg3 @bangtanxberm @ohthemisssery @eviethetheatrefreak @kimi240302 @andydrysdalerogers @formula1mount @storyteller-le @dakotali @daddyslittlevillain @elijahslover
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sturn-wrld · 3 months
Text
🏮bathroom break
pairing: chris x reader
summary: where chris needs a quick break while at a restaurant
genre: SMUT!!! if that makes you uncomfortable dni!
warnings: unprotected sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy), nicknames (babe, baby)
a/n: day 10 of smutmas. 2nd post of the day and this one is a little plain and not my fav so ignore it if you must.
masterlist
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for as long as you and chris had been together you never thought chris was a quickie guy. at this point you don't know why but you had never had a quickie or eve talked about it so you didn't think he really liked them. that definitely changed today.
it was a plain wednesday night and few friends had invited you and the triplets to come out to dinner. as you reached the nice restaurant cameras were clicking and people were swarming causing chris to put up his protective guard that always seemed to turn you on.
you reached your table inside the restaurant to see that all your friends had arrived and were waiting for the four of your to arrive. "chris, y/n. its nice to see you again" one of the friends said "you too" you said still flustered from the crowds. as the night continued all of the overwhelming feelings started fading away as you had a fun time with your friends, eating food, ordering drinks and just having a good time. that was until chris started rubbing up and down your thigh dangerously close to your core.
this caused you to look at him to only receive a slight smirk in response. that meant war. you started to rub up and down his thigh before completely rubbing his semi hard on making him breathe in hard. "go to the bathroom, i'll be there in a minute" he whispers in your ear, you nod in response heading towards the bathroom.
chris picks up his phone pretending to read something on his phone. "oh my girls sick, i'll be right back" he announces to the group before receiving some okays and other sympathetic phrases.
you hear the door open before you see chris walking in with a smirk on his face. "hi mamas" he says continuing that smirk trapping you against the sink. "hi" you say shyly as he leans in to kiss you passionately. the kiss becomes rougher and rougher before he starts to kiss down your jaw and neck whispering between each breath. "first you were the sluttiest dress possible and then you start feeling me up in the middle of dinner" he says seductively "what a naughty girl" he finishes with before connecting to your lips again.
"we have to be quick baby" he says before pulling you into the counter and lifting your dress just enough to see the top of your underwear. with that he pulls them down yo reveal your aching core. "just as impatient as me baby?" he says pulling down his own pants. you nod in response. he starts lining up his cock with your sopping hole, semi teasing you in the process. "what happened to fast chris?" you said wanting him to fuck you already. "anything for you mamas" he says suddenly fucking you at an unreal pace.
he then starts to you with you clit with his two fingers. rubbing, squeezing, flicking. this drove you and your body crazy. you suddenly felt the build up start in your stomach. "keep going baby, i'm going to cum" you said staring at chris as he started going faster "cum for me beautiful" he said as he came inside of you, he started slowly fucking it back into you before pulling out.
he helped you off the counter and helped you clean up before walking out. "pretend to feel sick" he says as you reach your friends.
"i'm not feeling so good, i think we are just going to get an uber home" i said wanting to leave after our quick rendezvous. "yeah, this should cover our food" chris says throwing $50 on the table to help bay the bill "see you guys when you get home" he says now looking at his brothers as we start walking towards the door.
"round two when we get home?"
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@ermdontmindthisaccount @ilovemattsturn @frozenvegitableoil @its-jennarose
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mrkis · 8 months
Text
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⛧ this is apart of my ‘MARK BDAY REQUEST SPECIAL’ event that i will be doing for his bday (wednesday-sunday). requests are OPEN for this.
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REQUEST: ⇢ mark nsfw a to z 🥹🙏🏼
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⛧ WARNINGS: 18+ content, mentions of cum, mentions of toys, mentions of female and male genitalia, mentions of unprotect sex,
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— [A]FTERCARE.
mark would bounce in between two things. one, he would make sure that you're okay and that you're not sore, opting to clean you up with his shirt because he just forgets to grab a towel while whispering about how much he loves you and how good it was. maybe he'd rush to the kitchen to grab you both a bite to eat (it's cereal. he can't make anything else) and he'd sit with you as you fill your tummies, listening to the music that softly plays in the background from his portable speaker.
two, mark would be lazy and exhausted after using too much energy, especially if he fucked you more than usual. he'd wrap his arms around you tightly, not caring about the sweat or the stickiness of it all, he just wants you in his embrace, he wants to feel you still. he'd whisper sweet little nothings, kisses your lips every so often, tells you how much he loves you through slurred speech because he's so tired.
— [B]ODY PART.
on him, he doesn't really know what his favourite body part is. sometimes he feel as though its his hands, especially with how easily he can make you cum with them. other times he thinks it's his nipples because of how he's so sensitive there and his body curls in whenever you brush over them with your fingers or tongue.
on you, it's your ass. he's an ass man. he would also argue that he loves everything about you (which he does), but he's so easily swayed by your ass that he can't help but touch it every chance he gets. sometimes he'd touch it when there isn't any sexual activity going on, he'll just slip his hand down to rest it there.
— [C]UM.
mark can be messy when he cums, quick too. he gets too overwhelmed by how well you're sucking him in with your mouth or pussy that he can't help but just let himself go. he warns you all the time, a jumbled mess of words about how he's going to cum before he sees it already seeping past your lips or spilling out of your pussy.
his mouth falls open when he cums, eyebrows pinched together, a curse or even a moan falling from his lips. sometimes he whines if it's too much.
— [D]IRTY SECRET.
mark's dirty secret is that he gets turned on way too much by you. everything about you just makes his cock hard and even when you're doing something so simple as sitting, walking around or scrolling through your phone, he can't help but think how you would look with his cock in your mouth or bent over in front on him as he pounds into you from behind.
— [E]XPERIENCE.
mark would be inexperienced when you first meet. maybe he's had his dick sucked a few times by some randoms and he's shared drunken, sloppy kisses with people during parties that he doesn't fully remember, but he's inexperienced in the sex department.
with his background, he thinks he would wait until marriage to have sex with his partner. but upon meeting you, getting to know you and spending so much time with you, he realises maybe he doesn't exactly want to wait anymore. he’s more than happy to give you every part of him.
— [F]AVOURITE POSITION.
you riding him and doggystyle are two of his favourite positions. he's an ass man, so fucking you from behind, seeing the recoil of your ass every time it smacks against his hips has him almost cumming on the spot. (and he definitely gropes your cheeks as he fucks you).
when you ride him, he's able to see all of you and he loves that. watches where you're connected, feels mesmerised with the way your pussy swallows his cock. sees your tits bounce, how your facial expressions give away exactly what you're feeling, how the smooth roll of your hips as his mind reeling.
— [G]OOFY.
mark tries to be serious during sex but 70% of the time, he fails. he makes miniature mistakes, tripping over his own feet when he undresses himself, accidentally knocks his forehead against yours, bites down hard on your lip when the kisses gets too rough and hungry. ends up smiling and giggling when it fully dawns on him that he's inside of you, accidentally calls you 'bro' or 'dude' when he tries to dirty talk.
— [H]AIR.
keeps himself neatly groomed or bare, leaning more towards bare when he knows he's going to be fucking you but gets comfortable enough over time to keep the hair there neat. he doesn't really care about hair on you, he's fine with whatever you do and whatever you're comfortable with. mark doesn't judge.
— [I]NTIMACY.
intimacy is important to mark. he needs that intimate connection. wants to make eye contact with you while you're fucking, to see the love and adoration, to know he's not alone in what he feels for you. can get emotional during those moments, especially if everything feels overwhelming for him. wants to hear you tell him how much you love him and he'll do the same right back.
— [J]ACKING OFF.
masturbates in the shower or in his bed during the dead of night, making sure everyone's asleep before he does so. also masturbates to relieve the pent up stress he feels from his busy schedules, thinks about you as he's doing it to help him out. he looks at photos of you mainly, but sometimes when he struggles to cum, he'll give you a call just to hear your voice. (he'll maybe get in the mood to ask you to say some things to him)
— [K]INK.
he likes leaving marks, whether that'll be hickeys or bite marks. likes it when you suck on his fingers to keep yourself quiet if you're fucking in the dorms, not wanting anyone to hear how good he's making you feel. sometimes he likes it when you choke him, but he has to be in the right mood for it otherwise he'll panic.
— [L]OCATION.
definitely prefers inside the comfort of your own rooms, maybe the shower if he's feeling adventurous. if he had to pick between his room and yours, he would choose yours. he sometimes gets a little awkward and embarrassed while fucking in his room at the dorms while everyone is awake or lingering around, on edge at the thought of getting teased by the members for the sounds.
— [M]OTIVATION.
he doesn't need a lot of motivation to get turned on by you, but he likes it when you show how desperate you are for him. when you whisper in his ear how badly you want to fuck him right now or how hot he looks. gets turned on by the simplest of touches you give him whether that's you touching his thighs innocently or his back/shoulders. likes it when you stare at him while biting or licking your lips.
— [N]O.
turned off by anything that brings you and him pain, he doesn't want you both getting hurt. would have to have a serious talk about things if you want to try something out that includes a little bit of pain.
also gets turned off by the thought of bringing someone else into the bedroom. he doesn't want to share you, he can never bring himself to do it. he's yours as you are his. he'll lose confidence, he'll feel uncomfortable, his mind will race with thoughts thinking that they're better than him.
— [O]RAL.
he's unbelievably good at oral. loves laying between your thighs, moaning into your pussy as he eats you out as if you're his final meal, moaning and drooling because he's just so into it. loves it when you sit on his face too, caging his head between your thighs, raking your fingers through his hair as his hands grip your thighs or your ass.
loves it when you give him head. the image of you on your knees with his cock in your mouth drives him insane and he cums so fast, panting heavily, holding the back of your head or caressing your face.
— [P]ACE.
he can fuck you slow and he can fuck you fast, it all depends on the mood. he does like starting off slow first through, allowing himself to feel every inch of you, allowing you to get use to his size until you beg and plead for him to fuck you faster which he does. gets a random spurt of adrenaline and uses it on you, doesn't stop until you're both satisfied.
— [Q]UICKIE.
doesn't really like having quickies but has gotten used to them over time due to him not really have enough time to pleasure you fully because of his busy schedules and busy days. definitely whines and complains a little if you're trying to tease him or taking to long to get undressed, ends up fucking you half dressed because he needs that release before he has to leave.
— [R]ISK.
he isn't the biggest risk taker although he can have his moments where he's thinking about fucking you or eating you out in a place that he wouldn't usually it. the biggest risk he's taken in your relationship is having you suck his cock and fucking you backstage in a tiny closet at a concert, but that's it. however he has thought about bringing you into the practice room or recording booth when nobody else is around, but that's definitely too risky.
— [S]TAMINA.
his stamina is always high unless he's exhausted. if he's overworked, he has low stamina. can't go for long, probably stops the second he cums. but when he's not exhausted and filled with energy, he can go for as long as you both can handle it.
— [T]OYS.
isn't opposed to buying toys, but he knows he makes you feel good with his tongue, his fingers and cock. so truthfully, he doesn't really see the point in buying toys. if you wanted one, he would reconsider though. maybe he would buy a small vibrator for both of you to use.
— [U]NFAIR.
when he's in the moment, he can be a tease. he gets cocky sometimes, especially when he's feeling confident in himself. he'll smirk at you, raising his brow as you touch him, asking him to touch you or something. he'll ghost his fingers over your thighs and stomach, but he won't touch you where you need him the most until you're practically begging for him.
— [V]OLUME.
starts off deep, curses a lot, mumbles a bunch of words when he gets too overwhelmed. then deep moans turns into grunts, then grunts somehow turn into high pitched moans when he's getting close to cumming, gets louder and whinier.
— [W]ILD CARD.
"you're so hard, mark" you tease as you dip your hand beneath the waistband of his shorts, feeling his cock grow in the palm of your head and he presses his lips together tightly to not make a sound, leaning his head back against the headboard. "you're so big"
"everyone is home" he reminds you warily despite his hips moving up, fucking into your fist. "they'll hear me"
"then you'll just have to learn to keep quiet" you smirk as you pull his cock out of his shorts, freeing him and he hisses at the cold air that hits his tip, throat feeling tight as you begin to pump your hand.
he whines, "you know i can't be quiet when it comes to you"
— [X]-RAY.
definitely bigger than he'd ever like to admit, makes him feel fuzzy when you tell him how big his cock is. likes to see you struggle to adjust to it.
— [Y]EARNING.
mark's sex drive is pretty high. he may not think about sex every second of the day, but he's always in the mood to fuck you whenever you feel up for it.
— [Z]ZZ.
falls asleep with his head resting on your chest or on your stomach after sex, likes it when you play with his hair and affectionately stroke his ear. he falls asleep so quickly and easily in your arms, likes to be close with you. even when you're relaxing in bed together, he curl up beside you, head resting against your side with his hand either in yours or touching you for comfort.
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mayaflowerxs · 1 year
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hi hun, if you dont mind can you make a fic of jaemin being all crazy for y/n but it starts off with them just sexting n dry humping till he goes all crazy for her. btw! i loved the affair series would love to see dream ver. :)
CRAZY IN LOVE
Synopsis: It was stupid really, you were bored and treated the app as a joke. You just never would have thought the man you began sexting would be your best friends boyfriend and at that an obsession beginning to develop.
Warning: Smut / Fluffish? / Angst . Swear word usage, Serious!Jaemin x Shy!Reader. Toxic relationship, pick me best friend, cheating,TW! mention of suicide, conflicted feelings. Reader is a bit of a push over + character development. Takes place in college. Blue: Jaemin, Pink:Reader
A/N: Hi love! Hope you enjoy and thank u sm! I haven’t considered making one for dream but maybe after I’m done I may think about it!
Pairing: Jaemin x fem reader
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You felt like a shit person. You hate fake people, players even and yet here you are doing the very thing you despise. Being bored isn’t a good enough justification for it, your interest was peaked the second you scrolled by the app in the App Store. A cold rainy day that left you alone, cold and in the dark of your dorm. Roommate was out doing god knows what, your best friend could never really be cooped up for long. The cold rain drops fell on your window that laid beside your bed. Tiktok wasn’t interesting, no movies on any movie platform seemed to catch your focus. Wednesday playing in the background for the sake of keeping the room completely dark and silent.
‘HEARTSTRING, the best most popular app for young adults ready for a relationship!’
What harm could it be if you tried out the app right? It’s not like anything bad could really come out of it.
“And so I was like, Beverly you have to stop shitting around and like fucking cut the chord. He’s not interested in you anymore. I mean yeah have we been having a bit of flirty banter here and there, sure but-“
The chitter chatter of his girlfriend talking his ear off began to muffle as Jaemin focuses his attention on his cell phone. He wasn’t exactly in the best mood, it’s fucking cold outside. His thick jacket he brought with now currently wrapped around his girlfriend because of the refusal she had to bring her own. Currently sitting inside a vegan restaurant and a $50 dish that isn’t all that appetizing and fulfilling. With an hour worth of talking of all the boring shit his girlfriend has to ramble about, he feels it’s the least bit understandable he’s decided to do something he wants to do. Be on his phone.
His social battery only down by its last percentage, a small frown on his face as he scrolls through his feed. Boring and bland, only a small story of Jeno’s in which him and the boys were currently playing the newest game. Months and months of hyping it up, waiting for its release and Jaemin is wasting his time on his 30th date. By now, his bank account is about ready to burst. A cry for help he swears he hears each time he picks up his wallet. Stopping midway scroll when an ad appears, ‘HEARTSTRING!’
Taking a quick glance up at his girlfriend and sees she’s still rambling on about girl drama as she continues to take pictures of her salad and posting them online. To say his relationship with Nayoung was perfect would be the furthest from the truth. If anything, he still doesn’t quite understand how he managed to get in the relationship in the first place. What was suppose to be a quick fling, resulted in Nayoung telling the entire school they were together. Her parents were quick in wanting to get to meet him, a very serious talk from her father had chills running up his arms. “Don’t you even dare hurt my little girl. You don’t know what I’m capable of son.” He’s tried to think of ways to get out of that situation but it’s only gotten worse when Nayoung got in touch with his parents. The thrill look on their faces when they were told their oldest son was finally in a committed relationship. Jaemin felt that maybe he would always be stuck.
And if that was the case, he might as well still have fun if he can’t walk away from her.
Setting up your account came to be really easy. You plan to delete the app by the end of the night, you’re not looking for something seriously and so far the app itself doesn’t look that serious either. It seemed everything was anonymous for the most part. With only using real descriptions and names, not personal pictures are to be added and instead icons. An app for anonymous chatting. For a while it seemed it was a scam, nothing good was happening other than the constant liking of each profile that propped up for you. You weren’t looking for anything specific, you just wanted to have a conversation and just as you were about to log out and delete it. A notification popped up.
na.jaemin0813 is typing…
Hey
Hello…
Did you get the app out of boredom as well?
It’s like we’re one mind
Guess we were meant to be ;)
Haha cheeky
You know it babe
So tell me, what’s your favorite conspiracy theory you can discuss for hours
Ooh getting serious are we?
Chatting with Jaemin didn’t seem so bad. In fact, you’ve come to enjoy your conversation with him, you didn’t expect it to go on longer than anticipated.
“Y/n im home!” You hear your best friend say as she closes the door behind her. Turning off your phone before you can receive the next message Jaemin was about to send you, a figure appears by your door way. “I’m fucking exhausted.” She huffs as she drops the many bags of clothes. A pout on her face as she slumps her shoulders. “Can you make me food, i am in a serious need of a bath.” “I still have some of my left over chicken Alfredo in the fridge-“ “You know I don’t eat left overs.” She makes a disgusted look, “Please! I’ll owe you.” She smiles before wandering off to her room. “You already owe me.” You mumble before getting out of bed and into the kitchen. The running water is heard a few minutes later with the sound of music playing soon afterwards. As you let the water boil for the pasta, you get back on your phone.
Where have you gone darling?
Already missing me ?
Given you’re someone who isn’t all that dry, who wouldn’t be?
So am I safe to assume you haven’t had great chats recently?
You’re the only one who hasn’t made the entire conversation about themselves and the many inconveniences in their lives
Ugh, those people are the worst.
The loud obnoxious singing of your best friend is what interrupted your conversation with him. Focusing back on her dinner as she spent the next hour an a half in the bath.
A sigh escapes Jaemin as he waits for the three dots to appear before exiting out of the app and moving on. The loud yelling of the guys are heard as he enters his dormitory. Busying themselves on whatever video game they’ve bought lately, “On your right!” Haechan exasperates. Taking the seat next to him, Jaemin had kicked off his shoes and rested them on top of the coffee table. “Oh you’re back!” He hears Jisung’s voice as soon as he entered the small living room. “Were you in my room?“. Shrugging his shoulders, he lifts up the cup of ramen in his hand. “You stash them in your room, finally found them.” “Yeah it’s exactly why I stashed them.” He shakes his head, hearing a notification from his phone he lifts it up only to frown when he sees it was Nayoung.
“I’m guessing the date didn’t go well?” Jisung asks. “She’s so high maintenance.” He sighs before closing his eyes and rubs his temple. “Why don’t you break up with her?” Haechan asks him, half of his attention on the flat screen tv. “Because if I break up with her, her father will break my face I thought I told you already?” “Oh right- move you fuck!” Getting off the couch, Jaemin walks over to the kitchen table and takes a seat keeping the maknae company.
Lets go out tomorrow!
Shutting his phone off, Jaemin doesn’t bother responding back. Mentally and socially drained to respond. “I’ll be in my room.” He murmurs not bothering to get a response back. The door to his room gets closed behind him, falling on his bed as he feels himself about to drowse off until he hears another notification go off.
So do you study?
Third year in college :)
Really? Where?
Seoul National University.
No way really? I go there too!
We should get together sometime.
Already desperate to get to know me?
Yeah well, I’d like to be able to see the face I’m talking to instead of a screen.
Mm I don’t know…
Oh come on, are you gonna make me work for it?
Yep
Meanie :(
As the days went by the two of you have constantly texted the other. To the point people began to notice, “why are you always on your phone?” You best friend half heartedly asked one day, on her own as she busies scrolling through her feed. Eyes rolling when she sees one of her ‘friends’ post a picture. “Told her she looked ugly in that photo, can’t believe she still posted it. Eh, A+ for confidence i guess.”
Peeking over her screen she frowns when she notices you didn’t even bother answering her question. Instead, a smile on your face as you continue to text Jaemin. It’s been an entire week since you downloaded the app, an entire week since you began texting Jaemin and a week since you’ve been this lonely looking person. It made Nayoung wonder, you were never this preoccupied with your phone. If anything you never used it mainly because you didn’t have much going other than movies and tiktok. But this, no this can’t be a romcom or TikTok’s doing. “Oh my god!”
Jumping back startled, you look at her shocked face. “You’re seeing someone!” Scoffing, you shake your head and set your phone down. “Am not.” “So why did you set your phone facing down. Mphm?” “I always do that.” Stopping momentarily, Nayoung can’t tell if you were telling the truth. Unlike you, she isn’t that observant, she can’t even remember your birthday and only hopes she hasn’t missed it yet. “Don’t change the subject! Now tell me, who is it.” “No one-“ Poking you with her chopsticks, she leans closer. “Now, now it’s been AGES since your last relationship and we both know how that ended. Just want to see how this one’s like” A small pang was felt in your heart, you didn’t like to remember it. Your last boyfriend only used you to get closer to Nayoung. It hurt to know he didn’t even like you not once throughout your relationship. Broken up with him and getting the reassurance from your best friend is what got you through it.
“He’s not like that-“ “Aha! So you are seeing someone!” Sighing, you smile shyly at her. “Not really seeing if I have never met him. We only started texting each other. It’s only been a week.” You say with a small smile. A ding is heard and you were quick to check, a small chuckle escapes you and you’re entire focus was now back on your phone. You miss the small scowl your best friend has on her face. She wondered who this boy was, how is it that you didn’t tell her when all of this was happening? A bitterness began to bubble inside of her but she keeps it on the low and instead grabs the dishes and puts them in the sink.
“I’m going out, me and Jaemin got a date.” She says loud enough for you to hear her. “K have fun.” You say lowly, eyes still on your screen. Giving you one last glance, she makes her way out.
“Jaemin, are you even paying attention to me?” She huffs annoyedly at her boyfriend. “Of course I am.” He quickly typed out his last text before looking up at her. Rolling her eyes, she huffs and crosses her arms. “Is this how you’re gonna be when you visit my parents?” “Visit?” “Of course, mom has been wanting you to come visit and so I promised her the next time I fly out I’d take you with me! My friend will be coming too of course, poor thing can’t see her parents. It’s this whole drama thing she’s got going on.” She shrugs. Great another weekend ruined.
“Alright see you then.” A grin forms on her face, leaning in for a kiss before she was long gone to do shopping with her friends. Rolling his eyes, Jaemin sits back on his bed and unlocks his phone. His finger hovered over the contact. He wondered what you were up to, he was bored and a little moody that you haven’t texted him yet. Scrolling through your last few messages that he’s noticed have gotten more flirtier over the course of time.
Whatcha doin?
Why, you miss me? :(
Don’t be a brat.
You love it
And you love teasing me smh
Still mad…?
You sent a pic of your boobs while I was in the middle of class
I had blue balls for the rest of the hour
So you don’t want more?
I want you.
Aw what a cutie
I’m not cute I’m hot
Would you like to see?
Photo Sent
The text messages progressively got more flirty, from pictures of abs and cleavages. You made sure your face was no where in view of the camera. You don’t know where this confidence came from. You never sent such pictures before, and yet never would you have thought to begin sexting a stranger you met online.
Fuck y/n, I need to see you.
I’m sure your hand can keep you company
Fucking meanie
;)
“Y/n! I need help packing I just bought new clothes and I need your help making an outfit out of them!” You hear Nayoung enthusiastically shout as she enters the dorm. Slamming the door behind you, opening the camera app you take one last pictures of your chest down, wearing a black corset with a push-up bra you notice Jaemin swoons over. Sending it before shutting your phone off.
A huff is heard as you watch Nayoung drop down all her bags filled with clothes. “Okay tomorrow morning we should be heading down to my fathers cabin alright?” Nodding, she leads you to her room. Two large suitcases are taken out of her closet as she begins taking down all her clothes from the hangers. Looking at herself through the body mirror as she makes distasteful noises each time she comes across an article of clothing she no longer likes.
Do you like torturing me?
Are you fisting yourself rn?
Kinda have no other choice…
Good, go faster for me will ya?
It’ll send you another picture of me. Maybe something more revealing…
“Y/n? You listening?” “Yeah!” Looking from her bed, a large pile of clothes as she poses in the mirror. She peeked through her mirror to see how engrossed you were with your phone. A small frown as she still doesn’t know much about this guy you’ve met. “Beige or cream?” Showing you a scarf she plans to wear, she pretend to think. “Cream, doesn’t wear out your face.” Smiling, she turns around and continues to check herself out. “So who exactly will be going?” Hearing the sound of another text coming from Jaemin, you take a peek to see he had sent a picture of his own.
“Oh just my parents, some childhood friends and my boyfriend. “ “Speaking of boyfriend, will I be meeting this boy you’ve been messaging?” She wiggles her brows. “Nope, I still haven’t met him yet.” You chuckle. “Huh..” she breathes out before posing in front of the mirror. “So how are things with your boyfriend?” you ask. “Things are great! I’m so happy to be with him, he’s so sweet look he even got me this necklace.” Showing you the Diamond necklace you nod, you didn’t know much about this guy. If anything you never met him. It’s ironic how much she’s mentioned him and yet has never said his name. You don’t know how old he is, how he looks. Just that he goes to the same college as the two of you. Nayoung has even tried her best to keep him from entering your dorm. For whatever reason it is, she doesn’t want him coming over. A bit secretive with him really.
“Okay are you packed?” Nodding she smiles. “God you’re so lucky, you don’t have a lot of clothes to choose.” She sighs “ Well, I better get to finishing you don’t have to help me anymore thanks.” Grabbing your phone you close the door to your room behind you and lock it. A gasp escapes you, eyes widening at the nude he sent.
You don’t beat around the bush do ya?
Gotta show you how much you’re affecting me
Cute
My dick is cute?
Your dick looks delicious actually
Then how about you come over n suck it
Yeah but I love torturing you so keep fucking your hand for now.
Damn woman
Jaemin shut off his phone after he seen you left him on read. He was frustrated. Sexually frustrated, it’s humiliating knowing how affected he is by you. He doesn’t care he’s currently humping his pillow pretending it’s you. Chest heaving, a sweaty forehead as he chases after his release. Never has he had to work for someone this much. He would’ve given up and moved on but how could he, something about you entices him. Makes his want more, to go after you no matter the cost. He loves your banter, he loves how much you tease it keeps him on his toes. His hand going faster and faster until finally he felt the warm white liquid fall on his fingers. In the corner of his dark room, he catches his breath. Receiving another message but only groaning when he sees it’s Nayoung.
Can’t wait for tomorrow!
To say you weren’t cranky would be a lie. You knew you’d be getting up early you just underestimated how early. Nayoung isn’t a morning person and to think she would be demanding you to get up at 3 in the morning was the last thing on your mind of possibilities. Sitting in the back of the car as Nayoung claimed she would be picking up her boyfriend on the way. You didn’t mind, if anything you’d be taking the time to catch up on some needed sleep. A large blanket over you, you don’t hear the door to the passenger seat open and close. A smack of lips kissing and a cheerful voice greeting him.
“Is this your friend?” Nodding, she looks back to see you asleep. “Yep, she went back to sleep. She spent all night texting some guy. Kinda starting to think he doesn’t exist.” Raising a brow at her as she whispered the last part. “Whys that?” Shrugging her shoulders, eyes on the road. “She hasn’t mentioned his name, refuses to let me meet him and anytime I ask about him she tries to change the subject.” Jaemin only hums before looking out the window, dark eye bags beginning to become apparent as he too wasn’t exactly in the best mood. His hair was still a bit disheveled and he was only running on two hours of sleep. Guess his girlfriends friend wasn’t the only one up all night texting.
By the time the three of you arrived, you woke up abruptly by the slamming of a door. “Come on y/n we’re here!” You hear Nayoung shout from outside. Stretching and getting out, you’re left with carrying in the rest of the stuff. The cabin was large, only visited a handful of times. Loud voices are heard from the kitchen as Nayoung busies herself greeting the family. Huffing when you drop Nayoung’s heavy luggage inside you bump into someone on accident. “I’m sorry!” Tall and standing before you, Jaemin props his glasses up. Dropping down his bags and sending you a forced smile. “It’s alright.”
“Oh y/n! This is my boyfriend Jaemin!” The two of you freeze. Watching as she walks over to hook her arm around his. A grin on her face as she cuddles close to him. It couldn’t be right? Looking over and seeing he as well seemed tense but he kept a calm face. “H-Hello.” Giggling, she shakes her head. “Always so shy. Jaemin?” Nudging him, he seems to snap out of it. Clearing his throat before doing a quick half assed bow. “Hey.” Looking between the two of you, she makes a face. “Well that wasn’t awkward, anyways. Mom and dad wants to see you so shall we get going? Oh and y/n sorry we didn’t have enough rooms you don’t mind crashing on the couch right?” Shaking your head she smiles. “Great! You can leave your things in my room, you know where they are right?”
Not waiting for a response she drags him into the kitchen where it erupts in greetings. Laughs and giggles are heard, taking a small peek you see her friends are also in there as well. Gawking at him as he respectfully greets them. Sighing, you grab your things and go up the stairs. “Hey y/n do you mind carrying the rest of our luggages? Please, thank you!” Nayoung shouts as you were half way up the stairs.
You felt left out you weren’t going to lie. But then again, when haven’t you. Nayoung has always made it easy to fit in, to make conversation even though most of the time the topic always shifted over to her but overall, it was easy for her to get involved. Not you, it took a while for you to barely start lowering your walls. Just the idea of forcing yourself out of your shell sends shivers. How can you? You get the feeling Nayoung’s childhood friends don’t really like you as they always stare and mutter things under their breaths. And like all the other times you visited, you spent your time on the couch petting the family cat. “I’m so happy he likes you. He hates people, if anything he still isn’t quite fond of Nayoung.” Her mother giggles as she takes the other couch. Staring lovingly at the two of you. A warm smile forms on your face as you continue to pet the cat sitting on your lap. Her husband walking over to sit next to her, a mug in his hand as he nods.
“Toby hates Nayoung for some reason. Even before she went off to college he’d always hide from her.” By then everyone has shifted themselves into the living room. The group surrounding Nayoung, the smile slowly drops when she sees her parents conversing with you. “You must be a gem if Toby trusts you that much.” Her mother claps her hands. Jaemin takes a seat across from you, fighting back the look of boredom on his face. He can’t help but analyze you. Can it be the same y/n he’s been texting? Since he’s arrived, he hasn’t had the balls to text her. There’s no way the chick he’s been sexting is his girlfriends best friend. If that’s the case, he’s screwed.
A scoff is heard from beside him, looking up and see Nayoung enter the living room. “He’s just a dumb cat. I’m sure he’s only using you as a cushion.” “Well if that’s the case, I’m honored.” You smile down at the cat who purrs. Jaemin notices the scowl on his girlfriends face. He wonders why, it’s not like she particularly likes Toby. Every time he’s come over she’s always going on and on about how the cat terrorizes everything. “You should be, and Jaemin too! Toby loves him!” Looking up and meeting eyes with Jaemin you gulp before looking down. A silence is met before Nayoung speaks up. “Well it’s still pretty early and I’m tired. Jaemin lets go to bed.” One by one, everyone walks off to their bedrooms which leaves you on the couch with the grey and white cat. Head butting your hand, a few hours go by and you haven’t gotten the heart to move him. The sleep drowsiness has disappeared and you made due on being on your phone for the time being. A notification is sent from your phone, Jaemin.
It’s you isn’t it?
I don’t know what you’re talking about..
“Yes you do.” Jumping up, you see him standing at the bottom of the stairs. “Holy shit you scared me.” By the sudden jolt, Toby has taken it upon himself to get off your lap and plop down on his cat tree. Walking closer to you, you shift uncomfortably. You don’t know what to do, what can you do to make things better?
Silently getting closer, you open your mouth to explain yourself but he cuts you off. Instead he takes a seat besides you and smashes his lips on top of yours. A moan emits from you, it was quick and needy and you liked it. You liked it so much you even climbed on top of him. His arms coming around your waist to pull you closer. He smelled nice, his cologne hitting your nostrils and lips were soft and plump. Cupping his face to keep his lips on top of yours. A smile forming on his face before pulling away, “So you were the one teasing me huh?” A blush began to form on your face before awkwardly laughing. “So you’re my best friends boyfriend huh.” Clearing his throat he looks down uncomfortably. “Listen, I’m not the type to cheat okay? It’s just that I kinda had no choice but to be in a relationship with her and-“
“She trapped you yeah I know, she has done that with all of her exes.” Raising a brow he looks up at you. “Really?” Nodding, you sigh. “She can’t keep a man for the life of her so she forces one on them by using her father to get them to agree. He’s rich and powerful, wouldn’t be surprised he’d have you kicked out of college or have you be fired from your job. Blacklisted for any future opportunities and more.” “If I’d known earlier I would’ve tried avoiding crossing paths. Why are you friends with her?”
“I don’t know, I guess she was the only one who stayed.” “Stayed? What happened if I may ask.” “I don’t know, one second I had tons of friends who could rely on me and the next, I was hated.” You look down sadly. Startled when he plants a kiss on your cheek, a grin on his face as his eyes adoringly stare at you. “I’m glad I finally met you.” “I’m glad too-“. Reciprocating his kiss, you begin to grind on top of him. A groan from him only has you doing it again and again. Pushing him down on the couch as his hands roam all over your body. Piece by piece, clothes are scattered on the floor and heavy breathing gets louder. Your head is thrown back when you feel yourself stretch around him. A large hand going to cover your mouth. Leaning in, his mouth attaching itself onto your nipple and sucking. Sensitive, you begin to bounce on his lap. Hands on his chest as he guides you to go faster. Trying to keep the slapping sounds at bay. The feeling of him deep in your snatch had your head spinning, it truly has been a while since you’ve had sex. It was wrong that the first person you sleep with is your best friends boyfriend but you just love it so much.
And it seems you’re not the only one. For the remainder of the weekend the two of you have gotten closer. Sneaky glances thrown and secret meet ups. When in the kitchen alone, he smacks your ass before leaving a kiss on your cheek. A shit eating grin on his face when he meets with the others. Content he’s finally getting you back for all the teasing you’ve done. “Are you alright y/n? Your face is super red?” Nayoung’s mother says. “Probably a bad reaction to one of her creams. I keep telling her she doesn’t have to keep putting on so many products. Going natural is just as pretty.” Nayoung sends you a smile. Speaking up for you, a strong grip on your fork, you don’t bother to explain yourself. “I’m okay.”
Jaemin certainly didn’t like it. And he certainly didn’t like how easily you let her comment slide. “I try to say the same thing to you as well Nayoung. No reason you need fifty bottles of foundation. A day or two without it wouldn’t hurt babe.” He sends her a smile before taking a bite from his food. Tensing, Nayoung is left without words. Embarrassed by the looks her friends sends her. A scowl on her face as she desperately tries to change the subject. “So! Should we hit the beach later on?” “Yes!” Her friends clap. “Okay good! After we’re done we’ll pick out our bikinis!”
Bikini’s? Nayoung never mentioned there would be swimming involved? You didn’t even pack any clothes to get wet in. The closest thing you had were shorts and even then they weren’t comfortable to get wet with.
“It’s a bummer you can’t get in.” Nayoung pouts at you, watching you set your towel on the sand. Sunglasses on as you send her a reassuring smile. “Eh it’s okay, I’ve gotten too much sun anyways-“. “Yeah you’re looking a little dark, how about you stay under my moms umbrella for the time being okay? Hope you don’t get too bored!” She says before scurrying off to her friends. Clenching your jaw, you try to not let her words affect you. Has she always been this snakey? Or is this you trying to justify your actions for hooking up with her boyfriend. Surely she must’ve always been this terrible to you from the beginning.
“Come on.” “Huh?” Looking over and seeing Jaemin has his hand extended you raise a brow. “Where?” “Less questions and more walking, come on.” Allowing him to drag you away, he takes you to a near by store. “Bikini’s?” “Get one, it’s on me.” “You don’t need to-“ “I want to, besides I need to get sunscreen.” He wonders off for it, and as he does so you look around the store. Eyes straying on a red two piece, you go to the fitting rooms and liking the look of it on you. Getting out, Jaemin freezes when he sees you. “How do I look?” Checking to see if anyones watching, he pushes you inside and closes the door behind him. Dropping the bottle of sun cream and picking you up. Leaning you up against the wall he desperately connects your lips with his. Running a hand through his hair, he begins to dry hump you. A moan comes out of you that he muffled with his mouth. A hand coming to wrap around your neck and lightly squeeze. “Fuck you’re so hot.” His pupils dilated as he leans in and press kisses to your chest.
Pulling the top down to reveal your perky tits. Sucking and fondling with them, looking to the side and seeing the mirror reflecting the lewd actions he’s doing. “We should get going, don’t want to raise suspicion.” You tell him with heavy breathing. Reluctantly detaching himself from you and setting you down. “Don’t change.” Grabbing your clothes and lotion, the two of you walk out and make your way to the counter. Ripping off the tag and handing it to the cashier as he pays for it. By the time the two of you make your way back, you hear shouting. “Babe where have you been?” Nayoung gets closer. “Needed sunscreen and got y/n a bathing suit.” Eyes turning to look at you, the plastic smile ready to falter. “Oh! How nice..well come on let’s get in the water feels nice!” She goes for his hand but he takes a step back.
“Yeah I will in a bit, you should join the others they seem pretty lost with out you.” Looking back and seeing her friends looking bored without her. “Oh okay. Glad you can join us after all y/n.” She sends you a smile before going back in. Feeling a tug, you look down and see Jaemin had taken his shirt off. “Help me put sunscreen on yeah?”
You can practically feel the daggers being thrown at you. But you ignored it, you liked making her jealous. A part of you felt proud you had the upper hand than Nayoung. Even more that it’s with her boyfriend. Turning around, you put some on his chest. Running your hands over his abs, his eyes looking directly into yours. “I really badly need to fuck you.” Rolling your eyes, you go to walk away but he stops you. “Now y/n.”
“Are you seeing this?” One of Nayoung’s friends says as they all watch Jaemin slowly put on sunscreen on you. Going up your leg and too close to your ass. “I knew it was a mistake to introduce them.” She scoffs. “Come on hun, do you really think he’ll do anything with her?” “It’s not him I’m worried, poor girl is so deprived I worry she’ll do anything for attention.” She pouts. “Don’t worry, Jaemin’s too smitten for you. He’d never be unfaithful to you.” Smiling she turns over to her friends. “Thanks guys, besides we’re really strong.” “So strong that should we assume he’ll pop the question anytime soon?”
Nodding they squeal. “I’m sure he already has the ring set out for me.” She claps her hands.
“Jaemin anyone can walk in on us any second!” You smack Jaemin’s bicep, currently in a dark small closet the cabin had he had managed to cramped you two inside. It was loud outside, music blasting as the others conversed with one another. Luggages were being packed and dinner was being cooked. In a few hours you were meant to be making your way back home and instead, have a clingy boy stuck to your side. A grin on his face as he leans in and kisses you. “Need you…” he pouts as he nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck. Hands beginning to roam down your side and to your back. Biting your lip when you feel him squeeze your ass, gasping when you feel his bulge after he pulled you closer to him.
“No one will hear us mhm?” He breathes in your ear as he peppers your neck. Massaging your cheeks as he has you pinned against the wall. You can’t ignore the arousal in your pants but it didn’t stop you from worrying of being potentially caught. “No sir.” Pushing him away, you reach for the door knob. Feeling him pull you inside again roughly when Nayoung’s faint voice was heard going up the stairs. “I have no idea where he went.” She tells her friends. “I bet he’s with y/n again. They have been way too close.” “I’m sure he feels bad, I mean she is the odd one out.” Nayoung reasons. “She’s a loner Nayoung, girls like her use that to reel men in.” Clenching your jaw, you don’t notice Jaemin wrapping his arms around your waist.
“Ignore them.” He whispers into your ear. Once you were sure they had left, you don’t utter a word and merely walk out. Leaving him in the closet by himself.
Nayoung always assumed she’d be the first to seal the deal between the two of you. The first to have a boyfriend, to be engaged and to start a family. Unlike her, you didn’t grow up with a lot so she always had more than you. The advantages like starting her own independent life. You had to start from scratch, lots of hours working for you to save. It’s what the world admired about you. It’s what they respected you for, many could relate to you. And even through all the hardships you still smiled. You stayed optimistic and it’s why you had so many friends, why so many guys wanted your number instead of Nayoung’s.
“I’m sorry I’m not interested.” “Actually I wanted to see if you can give me your friend, y/n’s number.”
For a while it seemed like Nayoung was the forgotten one. It was all about her friend Y/n. What you were up to, how you were doing. She just wanted to see what the fuss was about in having so many people care about you. So the cosmetics came in, then the surgeries, the hard diets. But when they weren’t enough, the lies came in.
“Oh sure, but I have to say she’s currently going through something. Chlamydia actually.”
She didn’t mean for the lies to keep progressing but she just wanted to take some of the attention off you and divert it over to her.
“She thinks you’re a freak.”
She did feel bad though when people eventually began to hate you. And before she knew it, she was the only friend you had left. Boys avoided you and girls despised you. Your last boyfriend only cheated on you because Nayoung lied to him saying you had cheated on him.
“I guess she thought you just weren’t good enough, I don’t know what to tell you. But, if I were her I would know I made a big mistake. You’re a catch.” Her hand lays on top of his, a reassuring and innocent smile plastered on her face before leaning in and kissing him.
For years now she was finally on the other end, the one who everyone praised and idolized. And a part of her liked how she can control you, it felt nice to be better for once. And seeing how close you and Jaemin have gotten definitely hasn’t been putting her at ease.
During dinner she made sure Jaemin sat next to her and away from you. Served him and kissed him at unconventional times. By the end of the night it seemed she was utterly in love with him, which is why she just had to rub it in just a little deeper into your face. “I’m going to tell him I love him.” Taking you by surprise, you suppress any distasteful emotion. “That’s great! I’m sure he’ll feel the same.” He won’t. You’re sure of that. “I want to live with him y/n.” Widening your eyes, “Live together? But what about dorms? It’s still mandatory to be in one and you can’t exactly room with a guy.”
“Only for a few more months.” Sighing and sitting back on the couch she smiles dreamily. “I’m telling you, he’s the man of my dreams.” You didn’t have much to say. Which only made you more guilty with how you’ve been treating her behind her back. It seemed she really did like him, after all she has been stuck by your side when everyone else turned against you. “Then tell him how you feel.”
“We can’t keep doing this.”
It’s been three months since the visit to Nayoung’s parents. Three months since you said you’d stop hooking up with him and finally today you’d be calling it off. “Like hell you are, what the hell y/n. Where is this coming from?” A duvet wrapped around your body, you sit up on the bed. Messy hair with smeared makeup as you don’t even dare meet eyes with Jaemin. With only briefs on, he gets out of bed. Disheveled hair, muscles more prominent and the red marks you left on him still apparent. Lip stains on his neck with dark love marks going down his collar bone. A frown on his face as he demands an explanation, even when he’s upset he’s still breathtakingly attractive. “It’s not right.” A sarcastic laugh falls out of his mouth as he searches for his clothes.
“You’re finally realizing that after months?” Looking at you for any other answers, he drops his shirt on the bed and climbs back on. Cradling your face, he looks at you worriedly. “Talk to me baby, what’s wrong?” Feeling the tears beginning to form, you shrug him off. You don’t trust your voice, there’s a ball beginning to form and you know if you dare speak a work you’ll only sob. About to get out of bed, he grabs you by the waist. “No, you’re not running way again. Talk to me-“ “Jaemin you’re in a relationship with Nayoung! She loves you and even wants to live with you and here we are having sex!”
“She’s not you!” Looking away, he huffs and wraps his arms around your torso. “I love you.” Taken by surprise, you turn to face him with wide eyes. “Come again?” “I’ve never said that to any of my exes, and it sucks that this is the situation that we are in but, im not lying. I love you, not Nayoung. It’s why I didn’t say it back when she said it to me.”
“Really?” Smiling, he nods and leans in for a kiss you grant him happily. “I still think it’s wrong. Maybe if we confess then she will let you go. Yeah it will permanently ruin our friendship but you at least deserve your freedom.” Shaking his head he sighs. “It’s her father i’m worried for.” Feeling dejected, you let him pull you into a cuddle. Back under the sheets as he peppers your face in kisses. Until there’s a loud slam on the door, eyes widening Jaemin lifts a finger to his mouth. Your door was locked thankfully.
“Let me check if she’s home…hey y/n! You home?!” Knocking on the door and trying to open it but to no avail. Shaking his head, he covers your mouth. “Guess she’s not home.” She says, she must’ve brought someone. Getting up to change, you can’t but overhear her speak.
“Can’t believe you’re still friends with her after everything she did.” Confused, you lean your ear up gassing the door. “Well I mean, she’s my best friend-“ “Yes but she cheated on her boyfriend.”
Cheated?
“She didn’t know what she was doing.”
Why the hell is Nayoung agreeing?
“Yeah well what about her bullying you?”
You looked back at Jaemin in shock as he as well seems surprised.
“That was years ago, she’s getting better.”
You didn’t understand why Nayoung was agreeing with such false claims. You have never cheated on your boyfriend nor have you ever bullied Nayoung.
“Well at least she got her karma right?” The girl snorts. “Getting chlamydia, having all the guys lose interest in her and having no friends- well except you. I must say I admire you. I don’t know how you put up with such a mess.”
“I try my hardest.” You hear her giggle. “She’s a loner and a social freak, the least I could do is make sure she has at least a companion or who knows she might just end it all.” “Are you saying she’s suicidal?” “I’m saying who knows! You never know what people are thinking now a days.”
Your heart broke. All those accusations weren’t real and to think more people thought they were true hurt even more. You didn’t even realize you began to cry until you felt Jaemin wipe a tear away. They chatted for a few minutes before leaving and by then you have sat yourself down against the door. “Why would she lie?” You ask to no one.
Jaemin stayed quiet. Arms crossed and a clenched jaw, he immediately understood what Nayoung had done. “Isn’t it obvious?” Looking up at him with red swollen eyes you shake your head. “She spread false rumors about you!” “What why?”
“Come on baby.” Crouching down, he pulls a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re gorgeous, sweet, smart. You’re everyone’s type.” “Are you saying she did it out of jealousy?” Scoffing you shake your head. “No, Nayoung is the pretty one. Everyone wants her.” “I don’t. I want you.” “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” You scoff. “Okay then let’s talk to your ex.” “What why?” “Because we both know the cheater in your past relationship wasn’t you.” The memory still hurt. You never did find out who he cheated on you with only that he was ‘much happier’ and that you weren’t shit to him anymore.
“You’re wasting your time.” Shaking his head, he pulls out his phone and begins to search for his account. “What are you planning to do.” “We’re going to pay him a little visit. Come on let’s get dressed.”
“I don’t think this is such a good idea-“ Cutting you off by giving you a kiss, he gives you a smile. “Just hold my hand, he does anything to hurt you I promise I’ll kick his ass.” Walking into the cafe, you immediately spot your ex. Deep eye bags adorned his face, his hair was longer and dead. He looked much scrawnier and almost exhausted even. Taking a seat in front of you, you don’t have the words to even greet him.
“Y/n. Jaemin.” He speaks.
“What can i do for you.”
“The truth.” Jaemin cuts to the chase. Quirking his brow, he leans forward. “The truth?” “Who did you sleep with?” Jaemin tells him sternly. Scoffing, he chuckles dryly and shakes his head. “Why am I hearing an accusingly tone. Shouldn’t we start with who y/n slept with first?”
“I didn’t sleep with anyone.” You speak up.
“Right. Like I believe that-“
“Did Nayoung tell you anything.” Jaemin cut him off. “Nayoung helped me realize I was wasting my time on her.” He glares at you. “Did she tell you she was cheating?” Staying quiet, his face falls. “Why do you care?…wait aren’t you her boyfriend.” His jaw clenched and he sits up straighter.
“So you’re the guy she dumped me for.” Eyes widening, you look at him. “Nayoung was the girl you slept with?” Scoffing he shakes his head. “I didn’t sleep with her we only kissed.” He huffs. “She told me you cheated on me, she comforted me and we kissed. She had me to believe she wanted to be with me but when I broke things off with you she ghosted me.” The two of you send each other looks, “Why? Was that not what really happened?…”
You felt betrayed. You wonder how long has it been since she’s been a snake to you.
“She told me you kissed my boyfriend.”
“She said you had chlamydia.”
“I heard her say you were mentally unstable.”
You wanted to believe it was all a lie but it made sense why everyone suddenly avoided you like the plague. No one daring to befriend you or ever ask you out. You were sure you’d die a loner if it wasn’t for Nayoung and now you come to find out you were put into this situation because of her.
You couldn’t stop your heart from squeezing in agony. The friend you considered a sister you cared for so deeply had ruined your life out of what? Spite? Jealousy? Fun even?
The guilt you had building in you disintegrated almost instantly. You don’t have quite the perfect idea as to how you plan on getting even with her, how you’re going to help Jaemin get out of his god forsaken relationship with her, how you’re going to let the world know just how a trashy person she really is but you do know one thing, if you’re going to keep sleeping with her boyfriend you’re going to do it without a care in the world. Holding hands together literally behind her back when the three of you go out for ice cream, his subtle hand on your thigh when you go to the movies. The glances you give one another when you two had no other choice but to be dragged by her at a fancy restaurant with friends. Having sex in the parking lot after making an excuse to leave early. Making out while she’s showering and even sexting each other with her around. You no longer cared, and instead it made you just a tiny bit better knowing Nayoung no longer had it all,
“They completely cut me out and I don’t know why! Can you believe that?! After everything I did for them they have the audacity to treat me like dirt? And that’s not even mentioning the weird looks I’ve been receiving from guys. It’s like I’m infected or something.” No but rumors are you caught a case of syphilis
BUZZ…
Come over, I need you now.
Photo Sent
You were finally taking your life back from her. Piece by piece.
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jangofettjamz · 4 months
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Turn It Off!
Gentle!Wednesday x Autistic!Male!Reader
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Summary: Wednesday comforts you after Enid almost sends you into sensory overload.
Words: 1076
Wednesday POV
Normally I would resent anyone who would even dare to think of asking me out, but that all changed when a particular psychic boy asked me to be his friend, and soon to be boyfriend.
Y/N L/N, a real gem among idiots.
I instantly took a liking to him, he's different from everything else and I soon came to find out why.
Y/N has autism spectrum disorder, which would be a valid explanation for some of his behaviour since coming to nevermore.
He's extremely shy, when he asked me to be his friend he almost broke at the seams. He's really nervous during any kind of social interaction with those he doesn't know.
Loud noises are especially irritable for him. Wolves howling in the quad would be torture for him, making him put his headphones on the second he sees them about to howl.
Meltdowns. Some imbecile thought it was funny to blast an air horn into his ears during lunch break, the result was Y/N having a meltdown with no one able to help him.
When we started talking I knew he felt a connection to me, he was a bit scared of me but also intrigued.
He's vastly intelligent, easily an IQ of 160. He's truly gifted with intelligence and that's coming from me. I'm not one to be humble.
When we started dating I took him to the weathervane, I didn't want to scare him like I did with everyone else. He's a fragile boy and didn't deserve that.
I wanted to protect him, to care for him and help where everyone elsen had failed him.
I love everything about him. I love the he'd hide his hands in his sleeves when he's shy. I love the way he talks about his favourite things in great detail. I love the way he could come to me when he's upset.
I love him, so very very much.
-
Me, Enid and Y/N are currently studying for our botany test next week. Enid, as usual, is procrastinating while me and Y/N have been studying since the test was announced.
We both go to reach for the eraser on the desk next to us, only for our hands to touch. I kissed the top of his hand making him blush madly, he really is cute; I hate myself for using that word.
Enid is dancing around her room being the foolish lycan that she is, she never ceases to amaze me how foolish she can be, its actually quite remarkable.
Suddenly, she decided it was a good idea to start blasting her incessant music out of her speakers, causing Y/N to cover his ears and whimper out of discomfort.
"Enid, turn it off" I said with a warning tone, though she only chose to ignore me and do her embarrassing dance moves in front of my face. Y/N began to whimper louder, making my anger with Enid rise to new heights.
"Enid turn it off!" I said louder; no effect was made.
"Why? It's getting boring in here, let's have some fun!" She said loudly, only adding to Y/N's discomfort. I was furious.
"ENID!" I shout, startling the both of them. "Can't you see that Y/N is getting upset because of your music blasting his ear drums apart, he's sensitive to noise you imbecile!" She looked over to Y/N to see him curled up in a ball with his hands over his ears, a guilty expression painting her face.
I point my finger to the door. "Get out" is all I say. She obeys and walks out with her head hung low. She knows about his noise sensitivity and yet she still does this, the audacity of some people.
Though my anger was strong and prevalent, I still heard faint whimpers from my side of the room. Y/N was still feeling uncomfortable after all that noise and was curled up in a ball on the floor by my desk. Thing was trying his best to comfort him, but nothing seemed to work.
I walk over to him and sit down opposite him with a gentle smile on my face. I patted my knees indicating for him to sit in my lap, he nodded and crawled into my lap and I hugged him tight, he preferred pressure over feather light touches.
He sniffled quietly, hoping I wouldn't notice. He looked away from so that I wouldn't see the tears streaming down his face like a river, as if I'd resent him for it. I pulled his face by his chin to look at me and offered a reassuring smile. I only ever smile for him.
"It's okay to cry in front of me, I won't be mad. Please don't be afraid to cry in front of me, I don't want you to be scared of me, darling." And with that he broke, he hid his face in my shoulder as I stroked his back, my blazer becoming wet with tears but I didn't care.
"I'm sorry Wednesday, I know you hate emotions." He said through his sobs. I felt my heart break a little, he thought I'd hate him for it.
"No it's okay, sweetheart, it's you so I don't mind at all. I would never be disappointed in you for being upset. Enid is the one I'm disappointed in, she should've been more mindful of your needs."
I pulled back from him. "Can I kiss you?" He nodded and I planted a gentle kiss to his lips. "Wanna cuddle for a bit?" He nodded again and I guided him to my bed.
We sat on the bed and I held him with a vice grip from behind. I wanted to reassure him that he's okay to be emotional around me. I had not realised he feared me so much.
"I won't leave you for being emotional Y/N, you know that right?" I whispered behind him. "I'm always here to listen you, I know it can be hard to operate somedays and it can be overwhelming for you, I'm hoping you'll let me in and help you and comfort you in any way I can." He turned around, he looked taken aback by what I said, I meant everything.
"You would do that? For me?" I smiled and nodded
"I'd do anything for you, mi amor." He leaned forward and kissed me gently, smiling against my lips which I happily returned.
Maybe I'm not unlike my mother and father after all...
306 notes · View notes
writingstoraes · 9 months
Text
begin again 🌷 (split pt. 3)
pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader
type: instagram imagine, social media au
notes: the long awaited part 3! this took so long only cause i had no idea how i want it to go lol anyway i hope u guys love this one :D lmk what u think!
about: almost a year after your split with charles, fans take a trip down memory lane and wondering why the two of you seemed to have watered things down after soft launching other people months ago. a bunch of rumors also set twt crazy along with speculations at your paddock appearance where you apparently support ferrari.
read: part 1, part 2 (can read on its own, but the parts provide context hehe)
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yourusername
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liked by isahernaez, lilymhe, landonorris, and 231,298 others
yourusername back at the happiest place on earth ❤️
lilymhe Have fun, love xo
yourbff Looking that good just to watch a race????
tyretactics QUEEN I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO YOU EVERY RACE
charliez1655 miss mam twt is on fire we all miss you 😪
leclercsluv wdym shes almost always at every race ricciardoshooey no they meant w charles lol
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yourusername recently added to her instagram story!
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Now playing: Charles Leclerc, 2023 Austrian GP, Post-Sprint Shootout Interviews
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yourusername
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liked by yourbff, lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 210,593 others
yourusername on a wednesday, in a cafe, i watched it begin again
lecslover looking GOOD AS HELL QUEEN
sainzplaylist god shes back to the man shes been soft launching i think i am going to be: sick
1655lecs that might be charles, we don't know 🙏 sainzplaylist yeah i think its time we let that go lol
wagsqueens mam im sorry wym by begin again???
charles_leclerc
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liked by pierregasly, finemidnights, carlossainz55, and 982,221 others
charles_leclerc It's nice to have a friend 🌅
tyreexpert u cant tell me thats not y/n 😪 she's his friend after all...
joris__trouche Looking sharp!
lecssainz16 war is over you guys theyre back at it i am in my acceptance stage now
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Some months later...
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yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, lilymhe, and 756,293 others
yourusername i am and willl always be your number one fan. words cannot encapsulate how proud i am of you; truly, you deserve all of this and so much more. congratulations, my love ❤️
it's nice to see you running towards me again :)
ps. yes we've been soft-launching each other the past months hahaha
leclercfan AM I DREAMING SOMEONE PINCH ME
livwatchraces i screamed when i saw you guys on the screen!!!
carlossainz55 Aaand they're back 🎉
charles_leclerc Thanks, number one shipper
charles_leclerc
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen, arthurleclerc, and 1,982,384 others
charles_leclerc Sunshine in human form.
A few months ago, I started hanging on to the fact that in good faith and in good time, things will eventually work its way out. Almost a year ago, it seems as if we have closed a chapter but today, we are living proof people who are made for each other can begin again.
Ce sera toujours toi 🤍 It will always be you.
scuderiaferrari We missed you tons, Y/N! ❤️
wagsf1 the queen of all queens is back we love to see it
lecslover it's years later and he still talks about her the same way he always have 🥹
sainzchamp The way theyve been soft launching each other all this time and that one rumor of Charles being with another girl was still Y/N 😭
yourusername sold our apartment already? too bad 😆
charles_leclerc I never actually sold it, if I did, I'd probably buy it back
---------
tagging: @slytherheign, @honethatty12, @siovhanroy, @mehrmonga, @mess-in-side, @leclerc16s, @thelovehypothesis, @dakotali, @aldene-styles
notes: eeee and its finally done! cant believe it took so much time before i finished all three parts lol anyway thank you so much for those who waited for the part three (i see all the asks on my inbox and the comments ehehe) i really just didn't know how i wanted it to go so! i hope you guys love this and lmk what you think <3
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sturniozo · 3 months
Text
In The Shadows I
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Most people that work for their father’s company have no choice, they’re thrown into it against their will. I was no different. Ever since I learned what my father really did for a living he had decided it would be what I do to. And I do it well. I’ve been training since I was 16. Now, 6 years later I’m the greatest assassin his company has ever produced.
My father runs a business, a hit man business. Some people are rich enough to hire people like us, people like me. We don’t just kill, we erase. We make people suffer and we make them silenced. Some people hire us just to investigate, gather information on an enemy.
You wouldn’t believe the amount of people that have wanted others dead. Exes wanting revenge, spouses wanting to collect life insurance, adult children sick of their parents. Some of their reasoning isn’t even good, but hey, moneys money right?
The cash isn’t even why I do it. It’s the thrill. Being undercover, being sneaky, solving things people had made difficult because they thought they were smart enough to hide them.
Everything I do, I do for the thrill. That rush of adrenaline that I’ve yet to let anyone who cares about me know about. Most assassins are like me though. No one really does it for the money. That’s just a bonus.
My father’s the only one who knows what I do. He made me what I am today. A killer. Not even my boyfriend of two years knows. He thinks I’m a planner at a company that sells stocks. That’s my cover. Thats my lie.
My eyes snap open as I hear my alarm go off. I dig under my pillow for my phone and shut off the alarm. I set my phone down on the night stand and rub my eyes. 5 am. I look over to my side and see my sleeping boyfriend, Luke. No doubt he went to bed not even an hour ago. He spends most nights staying up all night playing video games.
I sit up in bed and yawn. I get up and make my way to my bathroom. I take a quick shower before leaving to my usual coffee shop for breakfast.
The barista hands me my usual order with a smile. I’m used to seeing her here almost every day. Her usual days off are Wednesday and Friday. I sip on my coffee as I head back to my car. The clock on the console reads 6:53 am. I set the coffee down in the cup holder and drive off to the building I spend so many days in during my childhood, before I knew what it held.
I park in my usual spot, right next to my father’s car. I get out the car with my purse and my coffee, heading to the building entrance. I nod at Bobbie, the security girl, as I swipe my access card. It grants me access to the building and I head straight to my father’s office as I do every morning.
“Ah, good morning my dear.” My dad says as he gets out of his chair and walks to me for a hug.
“Good morning, Dad.” I say as I hug him back tightly.
He pulls away and smiles at me. “What do you have for me today?” He asks.
I dig through my purse and find a little paper bag. I hand it to him. “Open it.” I say while biting my lip to contain my excitement.
My father smiles at me and opens the little paper bag, letting a ring fall out onto his hand. “24 karat diamond?” He asks as he examines it.
“Yep. Fresh off the finger of a very unlucky divorcé.” I tell him.
“Ah, so this is the proof of contract completion for that Mrs. Aubrey then?”
“Ms. Aubrey.” I correct. “And yes, her ex husband won’t be bothering her or her children anymore.”
“That’s a good girl, I knew I could count on you.” My father smiles and puts the ring back in its paper bag. “I’ll have it delivered to her tonight, expect your payment in full my tomorrow morning dear.” He sits back down in his chair.
I sit down in the seat in front of his desk. “That’s my last contract, I’m officially out of running orders.” I say with a laugh.
“Oh don’t worry, I’ve got something for you.” My dad smiles as he begins typing away at his computer.
“What is it?” I ask, leaning in.
“I’ll tell you in a bit, go on back to your office dear.”
“Why wait?”
“There’s more than just you and I for this contract, it’s a big one.”
I smile brightly. My father’s finally giving me a big important contract for my own. “All right. Just call my office when you’re ready for me, Dad.” I say with a smile as I get up from the seat.
“I’ll see you in a bit, dear.” He says as he waves me off.
I walk out of his office and to the elevator. My father’s office is on the top floor, while mine is about seven floors below that, a bit more than 2/3 of the way up the whole building. I walk out of the elevator and see the cubicles. I’m glad I got to skip that part.
I walk down the cleared walkway to my office, but am stopped when someone waves me over.
Casey. She started here as an information analyst just over a year ago. Now she profiles the subjects of our contracts. She’s the one who decides which assassin does what job.
“Hey, Casey.” I rest my arms over her cubicle.
“So, your new contact.” She smiles at me.
“I take it you chose me?” I laugh.
“No, this one came straight from the big man, your dad.” She says.
“Ah, okay. So you have no idea what it is then?” I ask.
“Nope.” She shakes her head.
“Then what did you call me over for?” I ask with a laugh.
“To gossip, duh! What else?” She laughs.
“I’m not one to gossip, Casey, you know that.” I say as I begin to walk away.
“I just wondered if you heard anything about the new guy.” She shrugs.
I turn back to her. “New guy?” I ask.
“He’s on loan from another industry. Apparently he’s their best assassin. Might even be right up there with your skill.” She chuckles.
“Who is it?” I ask.
“Well, I didn’t get a name, but he’s handsome. I snuck a peak at his photo in his file when I was in your dad’s office yesterday.” She smirks. “He’s gorgeous, like a god!” She whispers.
I laugh. “He’s a trained killer?”
She nods. “His file was definitely an assassin file.”
I shake my head. “Don’t be spreading this around. Idle gossip isn’t what people come here for.” I say before walking into my office.
I shut the door behind me and let out a breath. I walk to my desk and set down my now half drunk coffee and my purse. I rub my temple and check the time on my phone. 8:14 am.
I groan and lay my head down in my arms on my desk. No contracts, no one to research or study. Nothing. I sigh and start scrolling aimlessly on my phone.
I get bored fast and see my phone down on my desk. I run my fingers over my face and bounce my knee up and down. The agony and boredom is killing me.
I shake my head and begin searching through my drawers, taking everything out and organizing everything. Within an hour I have everything in my office rearranged. I step back and look at it all, smiling.
I turn around and look out the glass wall of my office. Anyone who looked in here would think I was crazy. I just tore apart my entire office and rearranged it all in an hour, just out of boredom.
Staring out the glass I see someone who makes my breath hitch. Matt Sturniolo. Matt worked at this company years ago. He was one of my father’s greatest assassins. He even taught me most of my tricks. But that all changed when Matt betrayed me.
The call finally comes. My father telling me it’s time to go back up to his office. I have a weird feeling in my stomach, a feeling Matt has something to do with it.
I make my way to the elevator and go back up to my father’s office. I walk out of the elevator and stop when I see him. Matt standing in my father’s office. Just talking with him.
I gather my courage and walk into his office, ignoring Matt completely. “Got the call,” I say to my dad. “What’s the contract?”
“Y/n, you know Matt Sturniolo.” My dad gestures to Matt. I side eye him before looking back at my dad.
“Yes, I remember him.” I mumble.
“He’s your partner for this contract.”
My jaw drops. “He- what?” Matt laughs and I turn to glare at him. “What’s so funny?” I ask him.
“Just you.” Matt says. “You’re like a high school girl with a grudge.”
I glare at him before turning back to my dad. “There’s got to be someone else, or I could just do it myself!” I tell him.
“No, you two are the best assassins I’ve ever met, the best trained killers, the best investigators, the best of the best. I need both of you for this.” My father says in a demanding tone.
“What’s the contract?” Matt asks.
“Finley Wilson.” My father stands up and hands both Matt and me a folder. “Collector of rare curios. He’s not the target though, your job is to befriend him. Pose as a couple in search of useless art and befriend Wilson. Find out who he cares about the most.”
I stare at my father. “Us? A couple?” I point between Matt and myself.
“I won’t hear any of your complaining.” My dad says. “This is an important contact, I want reports every night. Your flight leaves tomorrow afternoon, I suggest you be ready then, understand?” My father says sternly.
I nod and keep my mouth closed.
“Good. Don’t worry, I’ll have your things for your cover sent with you. You’ll need to make a believable couple, and Wilson will have to believe you’re a rich couple looking to buy his curios. That is important. You need him to believe this cover. He’s paranoid, it won’t be easy.”
Matt closer the folder and holds it under his arm. “Where are we going?” He asks.
“Switzerland.”
TAGS: @sturniolopookie @savageking3 @tastesousweet @jko3005 @sturniolo0ntop @bernardenjoyer @sturniolosreads @mbbsgf @xxsadlovexx @whicked-hazlatwhore @sturnsgirl @keira324 @stuniolobbg @timmyscomputer
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pacifymebby · 9 months
Note
Hi! I was wondering if you can do a HC of the peaky blinders men having a lover who sings, like they sing so beautifully, and they like sing privately to the boys like love songs to them or a song they made up while slow dancing with them in a room (omfg that would be cute!) Thanks!! Hope your day goes well!! 💜
Aw this is so sweet <3
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Warnings: nsfw in some places
Tommy
🌿He heard you singing before he heard you speaking. He was stood behind you in the queue at the bakery and you were singing to yourself under your breath.
🌿Even though you were only singing quietly he could already tell you were a good singer, that he'd like to hear you singing properly.
🌿 So he leant down and spoke quietly to you, "sing a little louder love, shame to waste such a pretty song by keeping it to yourself..."
🌿 Naturally you hushed up pretty sharpish, turning with a little gasp, a blush flourishing on your cheeks. You even apologised upon seeing who it was you'd disturbed with your little song...
🌿But he just chuckles and asks you again, "No I mean it, I you have a lovely voice, I'd like to hear a little more..."
🌿Then you're really blushing because this is Tommy Shelby you're talking to and he's asking you to sing for him in the middle of the bakery, and no one refuses him when he asks for something...
🌿 So you do, because you have to. You're trembling with nerves when you begin to sing a little louder, and you feel the eyes of other people in the shop watching you. You know that impromptu singing isn't exactly normal for a Thursday morning...
🌿 But its Tommys eyes on you that are doing the most damage. He's watching you so intensely.
🌿And when you finish your song, trailing off because your nerves have caught up to you and you feel ridiculous - which you tell him - he just takes your hands, tells you you're shaking, and then tells you again that your voice is beautiful.
🌿He pays for your shopping as a thank you and you expect never to see him again however that isnt the case and you seem to see him more often than ever. Its like he's searching you out...
🌿And he is... After hearing you sing for the first time he's obsessed with you, he thinks you've the most pure and angelic voice... It soothed him, calmed him when he needed to be brought back down to earth and he's determined to get close to you, have you all to himself.
🌿And naturally Tommy gets what he wants, he always does. He goes to the bakery at least once a day, always vague about why he's there, never lying about it because he isn't embarrassed or ashamed of that kind of thing. His determination has always been a strong point.
🌿 "In here a lot lately Tommy, and you don't have a sweet tooth in you..." "No, no you're right Sammy I don't... I'm just looking for someone, figure they do have a sweet tooth," shoots the baker boy a knowing half smile, like they're sharing an in joke, because he knows that being friendly with this lad will get him the information he wants.
🌿"Comes in first thing Saturday mornin and first thing Mondays too, sometimes shes in on a Wednesday for bread flour..."
🌿 So the next Saturday morning he's there bright and early and he finds himself in the queue behind you again, but today you know hes there and youre shy and embarassed remembering what happened last time... So you're not singing.
🌿And Tommys very dissapointed. "Quiet this morning little bird," he muses quietly, leaning down behind you, talking right beside your ear, making you jump and blush when you turn around startled by him. He enjoys seeing you startled and made shy by him, if he's being honest he really likes the sight of that, but he apoligises to you anyway, ever the gentlemen and he just like that he tells you he needs someone for a job, he needs a singer... See his little boy has these terrible nightmares since his mother died and well, he needs someone to come and sing to him at night, help him sleep.
🌿"The money'd be good I promise, don't sound like a real job I know but it'd pay like a real job... Better than a real job..."
🌿And how can you refuse when a man tells you his motherless little one isn't sleeping. So you don't even think about the money, completely taken in by Tommys little white lime. Because its Tommy who needs singing to, Tommy who's getting those horrid nightmares...
🌿You start visiting every couple of days, in the evenings for an hour or two, singing littlw Charlie to sleep whilst his father sits over his crib, stroking his hair. You realise that this must be a side to him Tommy doesnt let anyone else see. You start to see him as someone with vulnerabilities, with a tender side, capable of love. Something you've always been told Thomas Shelby is incapable of.
🌿And as time passes you start to realise that it isn't Charlie who struggles to sleep, that its Tommy. And so as time passes you start staying later, pretending you cant tell Charlie's settled, singing until Tommy has fallen asleep too. Sometimes you're there all night singing and then falling asleep ib your chair at the end of Charlies bed, because its too late to walk home alone.
🌿Things between you and Tommy took a long time to blossom but by the time they did you already felt like you knew him so well.
🌿Tommy is the one who brings your confidence out, always telling you how beautiful your voice is, how lovely it is to hear you sing. How you should be singing for people all the time. Before Tommy you didn't really sing for other people but now he's built you up to a place where you're not affraid to sing for others. In fact you often enjoy it.
🌿The night he kissed you for the first time it was late, Charlie had drifted to sleep and you were doing your usual, pretending not to have noticed, keeping up your singing until Tommy drifted off too.
🌿But Tommy had been watching you, tormented by these increasingly affectionate thoughts he'd been having whenever you were around. And he decided to do something that night.
🌿"y/n love, c'mere," he said, he looked sleepy and you were tired too, "Cmon come here, Charlies asleep and you look so lovely tonight, let me dance with you?"
🌿You were shocked but you were secretly thrilled because over the weeks you'd been visiting little Charlie you'd found yourself growing increasingly soft on Tommy. Perhaps it was that tender side you'd been seeing, that no one else saw, but he made you feel all kinds of happy whenever he was around. Everything felt sweeter, warmer, better.
🌿And although you were still shy when his serious eyes fixed on you and you felt him studying you, you had to admit that it thrilled you to be the center of his attention. And lately youd been wondering how it would feel to be held by him. To have him stroke your hair from your face. To have him look at you with that intensity, but from close up instead of from the otherside of the room.
🌿So you did as he asked and you crossed the bedroom floor to him. You gave him your hands and he held your fingers delicately. And when he stood up his hands moved to your waist, smoothing down the fabric of your dress gently, holding your hips.
🌿You didn't know what to do with your hands so he placed them for you, one on his shoulder, one palm flat against his chest.
🌿"Now," he said, "we need music..." he gave you a teasing, knowing smirk, "sing me something sweet angel, somet as sweet as you eh?"
🌿The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife but it was good tension. The atmosphere close and warm, the two of you gentle and sleepy and soft with one another. You felt so shy you has to close your eyes when you began to sing your favourite slow song, one which was really an old scottish lullaby but which could be danced to slowly too.
🌿"Good girl," Tommy lets out a little sigh, kissing your forehead, beginning to dance you slowly, rocking you. When his lips brush your cheek you open your eyes, look up at him like a doe in the headlights. You've thought about what it would be like to be kissed by him too but this is nothing like anything you could have ever imagined.
🌿Him telling you your songs beautiful as he leans in to kiss you on the lips, your mouths meeting and the two of you suddenly realising that this was something you should have done much much sooner.
🌿And when the kiss deepened and the two of you felt the moment heating up, the swell of need for him, and his for you, almost catching you both by surprise, he lifted you up off your feet and carried you to his bedroom.
🌿Now naturally, you'd stopped singing, your mouth a little occupied... However as he dips to kiss your neck, your collar bones and your chest, as he begins to undress you carefully, delicately, he asks you not to stop singing.
🌿"Keep singing angel," he murmurs to you between kisses, and he keeps repeating himself, even when youre undressing him, even when hes lifted you up off your feet and your legs are wrapped around him. Even as he slips into your for the first time, taking it slow and gentle, yoir voice shaking, your melody interrupted by your breath catching in your throat as he pushed into you slowly...
🌿He'll sing to you too sometimes and he has a far lovelier voice than you imagined he would. His voice is low and just a little rusty/misty sounding. It has that sweet woody tone to it. He'll sing to you when you're sad or scared.
Alfie
🐻 Alfie didn't know you could sing for a long time. It was something which, he'd always imagined you probably could do, because your low voice was always so sweet and resonant even when you spoke, but when he overhears you singing he has to say, he's surprised.
🐻And it niggles at him too, he's almost a little annoyed you've never sang to him, you don't even sing around him, not even in the evenings when he's got the wireless on.
🐻 He probably gets a bit grumpy about it as if he thinks youve been keeping your beautiful singing a secret from him on purpose.
🐻 But in reality you're just shy, and you don't think you do have a beautiful singing voice. You definitely don't think its beautiful enough to warrant singing for other people as if you believe yourself to be something special...
🐻 But Alfie stands just the otherside of the kitchen doorway listening to you sing as you kneed your bread dough. Thinks your voice is the most enchanting sound he's ever heard and he loves it.
🐻 Pretends not to like it, just to tease you, he comes into the kitchen behind you, grumbling and chuntering away. "Now whats all this racket then, whats all this... This noise bloody awful noise right keepin me awake..." but he can't keep his trick up for very long at all, not when you look mortified, wide eyes and imediately apologising over and over.
🐻He has to laugh, he can't believe you believe him for a start. But he feels guilty for teasing you and immediately opens his arms up to you, hugs you and kisses your cheek.
🐻"I'm only teasing zieskiet, obviously I'm only teasing you... As a matter of fact yeah, your little song you were singing just now, well, as a matter of fact my dear that was the most beautiful little song my fussy old ears, have ever been fuckin blessed to hear..."
🐻 Alfie thinks your voice is so inspiring, and he's a lover of music himself, a lover of the arts, he always tells you you should be singing on stages, in operas, for an audience with the knowledge, the cultured palette to appreciate you.
🐻You're his muse when he starts writing his opera, in fact your voice alone is half the reason he has for trying to write it in the first place. He wants to write an opera fittinf of youe glorious voice. But whenever he asks you to sing for him, whenever he asks you to inspire him, you just get shy and you try to hide away.
🐻And you always tease him to, reminding him, "I thought my singing was just a bloody great racket..." you'll refuse to sing for him just to watch him get grumpy and grumbly and then you'll giggle and sing for him running your fingers through his hair or his beards.
🐻 And you'll sing little love songs, tell him you wrote them for him and he'll get a little embarassed. "Don't know what you're wasting your time writing songs about me for zieskiet... Just an old man..." "My old man..."
🐻 He writes arias for you to sing and tries to get you to sing for other people but you won't do it. Your voice is something you trust only Alfie with, and he grows comfortable with that, begins to feel like he wouldn't want it any other way. Your voice is this precious secret that you share, something so precious you'll only give it to him.
🐻 Calls for you to come sit in his lap when its late and hes just come home from the office or that late night business that always sees him come home with blood on his hands. He sits himself down at the kitchen table or in his big armchair by the fire and he calls for you to come to him.
🐻 "Zieskiet my precious angel come sit down with your old man, it's been a fuckin godless day and he's tired..." and you go to him, let him pull you down into his lap, let him bundle you up in his arms, kiss you and growl into your neck. Running his hands over your waist, squeezing you possesively.
🐻 Holds your face in his hands and looks up at you, into your eyes with his own, which are so cold and steely for everyone but you. For you theyre molten, soft and dark and full of adoration.
🐻 "Sing me a song zieskiet, one with a sad little story right? One where the hero dies somet tragic yeah... Will you do that for your old man yeah, sing him a nice fuckin tragedy?"
🐻 Because he's a strange eccentric he will absolutely send Ollie or someone running half way across the city to find you having been told its an emergency, a serious fuckin emergency.
🐻 And when you get to the office Alfies just frowning, "Ah zieskiet, poppet thank the heavens you are here... Finally..." "What is it Alf, whats the matter?" "Ive tuned in and out of this bloody wireless yeah, and I've searched this whole bloody box of records yeah, ain't any fuckin music anywhere to be found..."
🐻 He really scared you half to death, had you running across the city with Ollie, just so you could sing him his favourite song.
Arthur
🍂 You've never really thought of yourself as particularly musically gifted and you don't really think your voice is anything special, however you love to sing and sing all the time. You adore music, you use it for emotional regulation, you hate to sit in silence. You hum when youre nervous, when you're happy, when you're sad you listen to sad songs and you sing along and pretend that your pain is just as bad as the pain of the man singing about his dead love.
🍂 And its something Arthurs always loved about you. How you're always singing, how you brighten a room with your good mood and your happy humming. How when things get tense and the kids need soothing and distracting, you're there to sooth them with a little song.
🍂 You teach Johns kids and Charlie and Ruby little songs, nursery rhymes, or songs to learn the alphabet and how to count. Songs to learn the days and the months. Arthur loves how you have a song for everything.
🍂 Its just something that makes you so different from everyone else in his life. You're so sweet and goodhearted and you're never too serious and your singing puts him at ease. He loves to listen to you and it always leaves him feeling warm and good inside when you sing.
🍂 When hes stressed out he'll ask you to sing for him and thats the only time you ever feel self concious, when he asks you to sing just for him and you can tell that hes depending on you for something. Then you question whether you're really good enough at singing... Because you know he'll actually be listening and expecting to hear something beautiful.
🍂 He likes to share a bath with you, share some wine, share some snow and then have you sing whilst you massage his shoulders. Loves when you wash his hair and sing for him, when you sing soft and low and sweetly in his ear, just for him. It makes him feel so safe and pure.
🍂 You sing to him to calm him when he's struggling to come down from one of those raging adrenaline rushes triggered by his PTSD. When hes having flashbacks you sing to him and hold his hand, kiss his temple. It helps to keep him grounded, helps him to stay on this plain in this reality instead of getting lost in a bad memory.
🍂You sing to him when youre cleaning his wounds, when youre washing other men's blood from his hands, scrubbing his nails and singing soothing little songs to calm him, to let him know you still love him, still think he deserves to be sung to. To be treated like a human.
🍂 He has favourite songs he'll ask for. And sometimes if youre singing and he doesn't feel like the kids are grateful enough that you sing to them he'll tell them to hush up and listen to you, "Dont know how lucky you are gettin to hear your aunty y/n sing for you like that, other kids would kill to have someone so beautiful singin to them!"
🍂Actually can get grumpy if he doesn't think other people appreciate your singing enough.
John
🌼 Is such a git and teases you relentless about your singing because you sing to yourself all the time.
🌼 "eh up that crazy lass from Watery Lanes singin to herself again, what a looney..." he's only joking but he doesn't know when a jokes stopped being funny, or that hes taking the joke too far.
🌼 Doesn't realise you think he's being serious or at least means it a little bit when he says its embarassing the way you wander round singing to yourself all the time, "whole of Birminghams gonna think you're losing the plot flower, gonna think you've gone nuts..."
🌼 So after awhile his jokes get to you and you take his thoughtless teasing to heart. You stop singing, or you try anyway. Its an old habbit and it dies hard and slow, so slow that John doesn't notice how you're singing less and less, or how sometimes you'll be singing to yourself but you'll stop just as he walks into a room.
🌼 Basically he's oblivious to the damage hes done until its too late and you really have stopped singing completely. Now you don't even really sing to yourself and its his fault...
🌼 Then one day he realises how quiet it is, how quiet you are and he gets upset, suddenly really worried for you.
🌼 "Y/N lass whats going on eh? You're upset or somets happened? Am not stupid I can tell..." but he is stupid, hes a stupid fuckin dinlow because even now he doesnt realise whats really the matter. When you tell him nothing is wrong, that everythings fine he argues back and says
🌼 "No, nah somethings not right flower, you don't sing anymore or anything, you're so quiet..."
🌼 You look at him, a little bit confused, a little bit wounded. "Thought you didn't like my singin...why do you care if I don't sing anymore?" you sound more sullen than you think you do and suddenly John knows exactly why you've stopped singing and he feels like such a fucking idiot.
🌼 "Oh bloody hell," he sighs, getting annoyed with himself for being an idiot. "Fuck sake, I'm sorry love..."
🌼 Tells you that he loves your singing and always has, that its one of his favourite things about you and thats the whole reason he used to tease you for it. Because he loves it so much he just thought that it was obvious he was only teasing.
🌼 So then he has to chip away at you the other direction, teasing you until you're singing for him again. Because obviously John isnt going to learn the error of his daft, boyish ways.
🌼 And finally you relent and give in and sing a little love song for him which has you both blushing.
🌼 His favourite thing which he used to love watching was how you'd gather all the wains up in your bed with you at night and if a story wasn't working to send them all off to sleep, you'd sing lullabyes for them.
🌼 He liked climbing into bed with you and the children and getting cosy, one big happy family, all huggled up together whilst you sang for them.
🌼 When one of the wains starts singing and copying you, singing with you sometimes John is overwhelmed with pride and he loves it. Loves you for teaching his littlens something he could never have taught them himself.
🌼Will get jealous if its been a long day and all he wants is to spend a little alone time with his girl, but he can't get anywhere near you because the kids want you to sing for them. He'll end up packing them all off to bed with the promise of one last song and then when finally its just you and him he'll tease you, singing your song back to you, making fun until youre giggling and blushing and actually getting quite wound up by him.
🌼 Then hes all kisses and grabbing you, pulling you close, singing and kissing you all over until youre laughing too much to fight him anymore.
Bonnie
🍀Has always loved to listen to music, ever since he was a little boy. And because you grew up together travelling around, hes always known you could sing. Always loved listening to you sing.
🍀Once when you were a little girl one of the older lads teased you about your singing voice telling you to shut up, telling you it wasnt cool to sing, it was cool to know how to hunt and do manly things. And little Bonnie threw a rock at him, "You shut up dinlow!"
🍀He didn't win that fight and in fact he got into a fair bit of bother for throwing that rock at one of the Boswell boys. A lot of trouble actually, more than it was worth as far as youre concerned.
🍀You didn't stop singing, you were a smart girl and you knew that most of the time the boys that said mean things to you were only doing it because they were daft and didn't know how to speak to girls. Had to be mean because they were scared of pretty lassies.
🍀Thats what Bonnie always told you anyway.
🍀Now you're much older and Bonnie is your boy, your champion, and you still sing all the time. You sing to the wains when you're helping to look after them. You sing when you're doing your chores, doing the washing in the stream, preparing the meat when the lads come back from hunting.
🍀You often sing around the fire in the evening when the men get their instruments out and some of the others dance with their wives and children. You'll sing at funerals too, when everyone needs a sad song to fill the silence whilst you watch the flames burning and the remember those who have passed.
🍀Sometimes Bonnie watches you with the youngens, when youre singing your lullabies to the babies, rocking them to sleep... He can't help but imagine you singing to his babies one day. Sometimes watching you singing with the children gets him in the mind that he wants to give you children sooner rather than later.
🍀Has definitely told you this too, he isn't shy about it. Will kiss your cheek and your neck, nibble your ear and then say something about how he's gonna have you singing lullabies to babies of your own in no time at all.
🍀He's a superstitious lad, has his pre fight routines... And the most important is that you come to his changing room, that just you and him get at least a minute or two alone for you to sing his lucky song to him whilst you wrap his hands up. He'll close his eyes and focus on your voice, how pure and pretty it is, he'll slow his breathing, get himself in the zone and then he'll kiss your cheek, give you one of his cheeky over confident winks, and off he goes to fight like a champion yet again.
🍀Teases you, says one day you'll be singing folk songs about bonnie Bonnie Gold champion of the world.
🍀 Fond of a post fuck lullaby, loves to hold you in his arms and listen to one of your sweet little songs. Loves to feel the vibration of your voice in his chest when you're resting on top of him.
🍀 He thinks of your singing when hes scared. He doesnt really get scared so easily, he enjoys most of the work he does for the blinders, doesn't really mind the killing, he's always been very laidback about those sorts of things, always been very calm. But sometimes when he's in a dangerous situation and he's realising quite how dangerous what he's doing is, when he realises he might not get out of a place alive, he remembers one of your songs, pictures you singing in a field or by the fire or with the wains, or how sometimes you sing just for him in the middle of the night, and the thought calms him.
🍀When he's injured after a fight, or after a blinder job that went wrong, and he can see that you're scared by the sorry state of him, he'll force you an easy smile and ask you to sing for him. Partly because he knows it'll give you something to focus on instead of powerlessly worrying, and partly because he'll take any excuse to hear that gorgeous voice of yours. "Pretty as bird song in the morning dove, thats how your singin sounds...."
🍀 Bonnie can definitely sing and he definitely sings for you, little lullabys and sad ancient folk songs with mysterious stories threaded into them. He'll lie with you under a tree at the edge of misty moorlands and sing to you a little irish lament about a girl who went wandering into the mist to find her lover never to return again. He'll tell you she haunts the moores and then he'll tease you when he scares you with his little ghost songs.
Isaiah
🐀You're the life of a party when you sing down the Garrison and Isaiah is always glad to be able to see you dancing and singing spreading joy, stirring high spirits.
🐀He's also pretty pleased because it was him who told the Shelbys to hire you as a barmaid, told them you were a wonderful singer and that you'd have the place buzzing and busy all night.
🐀And its true, you have the power to pick exactly the right song and get every man up to the bar or dancing with his lass or remembering times gone by. You're a real crowd pleaser thats for sure and Isaiah is very proud to have found you. Always tells Tommy "you owe me for that Tommy, my girls the main reason this place stays open..."
🐀But Isaiah has a jealous streak and he doesn't like watching the way the other men at the Garrison admire you. Hates to see other men falling in love with his lass, falling for your voice and the pretty songs you sing, the bright light which seems to radiate from you when you smile through the notes of a happy song.
🐀So he spends half the night planning how he'll get you alone, soothing his jealousy with thoughts of what he'll do when he finally gets you alone and he can tease you and touch you, kiss you all he likes without feeling jealous eyes on him.
🐀Taking you into the private booth and locking the little door so that its just you and him and you can't be disturbed. You getting flustered because he's just stolen you from the floor and you're supposed to be working.
🐀"Saiah whatre you doing, theres pints to pull! You'll get me in trouble..." "Nah love, ain't gettin in any trouble if you're with me, am a blinder aren't I..." winking at you being cheeky, teasing you and pulling you into his lap, holding you there one hand on your hip, one holding your chin and stearing you to loom at him.
🐀"Sing me a song love, one thats just for me..." he says giving you a needy little stare, his eyes fixed on yours, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. He enjoys seeing you blush, seeing you get a little shy. That shy smile so beautiful. "Sing us a song thats just for me and promise you'll never sing it for anyone else yeah.."
🐀So you do, and you promise you'll never sing it for anyone else, so it becomes your song. When you get married its the song you share your first dance to.
🐀At home, and only when no one else is with you he'll join in your songs and dance you around the kitchen or the bedroom, only interrupting your melody when he can't keep his lips from your lips any longer.
🐀You can tell his jealousy and how possesive he is over you and you love it, and you want him to know that you love it and you love him, so you write him little love songs and laments and you sing them for him in that private booth at the Garrison or in bed when the house is quiet and the streets outside are hushed by the late late night sky.
🐀He LOVES your little love songs and he can't even begin to express the effect they have on him. Hearing the words you wrote for him, hearing a whole song inspired by him... Its incredible and it stokes his ego but it also makes him feel so loved...
🐀Theres also probably something precious to Isaiah about the fact that you admire him and think hes good enough to be the subject of a song because obviously racism is aggressively prevalent in 1920s birmingham and he spends a lot of time very aware that if it wasnt for his peaky cap and even despite his peaky cap, there are many who would think him unworthy even of acknowledgement. So the fact that the love of his life is writing pretty little songs about how much they adore him, how handsome he is, how he makes their whole world turn... Well, he feels very proud and very honored and touched and he never quite knows how to express it.
🐀Tries to write you one too but it ends up being a silly little ditty that ends with something dirty that makes you blush and laugh and climb straight into bed with him.
Michael
☘️ There are many parts of himself Michael keeps secret. All the things he thinks people might think him a "soft lad" for.
☘️ One of these is that he can sing beautifully. His adopted mother used to play piano and have him and his brother sing hymns from church.
☘️His mother knows he can sing too, she makes him sing for her when she's worried, when the voices of the dead are too loud or painful to listen to. When shes unwell and suffering. Michael will sing for her but he'll be sullen and embarassed and he'll berrate her for even asking it of him.
☘️ The other hidden secret is that he loves to be sung to sleep. He loves to lie with you, him between your legs, your thighs wrapped around his waist, his head resting on your belly as you comb your fingers through his hair and sing him a soft soothing melody.
☘️Probably because he has mummy issues. He loves to be spoiled and taken care of like that, to be treated gently.
☘️After the Changretta hit on him, when he's in the hospital, you visit him every day, you're so worried about him but he's got glad to have his "little songbird" with him to sing for him and keep him from killing himself from the boredom of being cooped up like that.
☘️He asks you to sing songs for him whilst you change his bandages and wash his wounds. He likes the distraction from the pain and he tells you you have a healing voice. Tells you its a gift, that you were a gift sent to him from some higher power.
☘️If you want to sing professionally, which michael will definitely encourage, he will pull the strings to get you singing in tge fanciest hotels, to have you climb the ladder to stardom. Partially because he wants to see you happy and will do anything to keep you happy, but also partially because it feeds his ego and makes him feel powerful to have a famous girlfriend, one who is admired by so many for her beautiful voice. You're a real star, shining bright, and you're all his. No one elses.
☘️He keeps his own talent hidden from you for a long long time because he's worried you'll think him less of a man, worried you'll think he's soft. But one day, the day your father dies, you're so distraught, exhausted from all your grief, and michael wants to help you so he holds you in his arms and strokes your hair, rocks you gently and sings you to sleep.
☘️He doesnt think youll remember, thinks you'll have forgotten it because you were in such a state, but you remember how beautifully he sang and when you ask him about it he gets so self concious and blushes and tries to deny it.
☘️ "Must have been imagining it sweetheart I can't sing..."
☘️You beg him to sing to him again, and again and again...
☘️And finally he gives in, says that if you'll sing him a song he will join in. And you sound really lovely together and you can't keep the smiles off your faces.
☘️When you have children michael sings them these lowly lullabies and you love to fall asleep holding the baby in your arms, the both of you lulled to sleep by daddy.
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milfsloverblog · 10 months
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Life Eternal (part 2)
Can you see me longing for you forever?
Larissa Weems x former student fem!reader
A/N: Thank you to anyone who enjoyed the first chapter and asked for more! Still inspired by some of my life events. Title again from one of my fav Ghost song (you should really listen to it, just for some more angst).
TW: alcohol consumption
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You have no idea how long the two of you stayed in each other’s arms, Larissa’s body gently swaying as she rubbed soothing circles on your back. You didn’t want to let go and it seemed like she didn’t either.
“We should go back outside.” Larissa eventually said but made no move to pull away from you.
Just one more minute, please.
“We should.” You agreed and reluctantly let go of the tall woman.
“Let me take a good look at you, it’s been so long.” Larissa said as her hand cupped your cheek to lift your head.
It took all of your strength not to close your eyes and nuzzle your face in her palm, instead letting your eyes roam on her face like hers did on yours. You loved everything about her. From her sapphire eyes to the dent on the tip of her nose to the scar that slashed through her lip.
“You haven’t changed at all.” You said when your eyes locked with hers again. You are still the most beautiful woman in the world.
“You have. You’ve grown into a beautiful young woman.” Larissa smiled and her hand dropped back to the side of her body, making you miss its warmth instantly.
There was a moment of silence between the two of you that lasted until Larissa eventually moved toward the door.
“Perhaps afterward we could visit the Weathervane for a hot chocolate? I would love to catch up and hear about all those adventures you’ve been on during those five years. Do you still like it with whipped cream and cinnamon?” Larissa offered, half turning to look at you.
I can’t. I can’t spend the evening with you as if I had never left. I can’t bare the thought of opening up to you. I can not let you build a nest inside my heart again, Larissa.
And there it was again, that look of expectancy in her eyes. Why did she keep hoping all those years, couldn’t she just forget about you like you had tried so hard to do about her? Had she even tried at all?
“I think I could use something stronger.” Was all you could answer. You should have said no, but you couldn’t disappoint her.
“Of course, I know a nice place downtown. I will take us there once everyone is gone.” Larissa gave a nod and opened the door, waiting for you to walk out of her office.
You were back in the yard in a few long strides, taking deep breaths of fresh air hoping it would ease the loud ringing in your ears.
You had no choice but to make small talk to a few people from your past when Enid grabbed your arms and dragged you to one of the tables. It seemed like everyone had settled into their life. Most had a nice job, were in a steady relationship and some were even married. As you found out, none of them were madly in love with a woman twice their age.
From time to time you’d look around the yard, hoping to catch a glimpse of Larissa’s tall figure, only for your heart to skip a beat each time your eyes met.
“Promise me you’ll call more often!” Enid said as she gave you a tight goodbye hug.
“I promise I’ll try.” You nodded, catching Wednesday smirking at your answer.
What a strange couple they made, you thought as they walked away into the parking lot. Opposite attracts. At least you hoped that was true, that might give you a chance with-
“Well, it looks like everyone is gone.” Larissa’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “You can wait by the car, darling, I just need to fetch my keys.”
You were surprised to see that she was still driving that old minivan, surely that thing should have been sent to the scrapyard a long time ago.
Larissa turned on the engine which in turn turned on the radio, Lovesong by The Cure instantly filling the car. Larissa moved to turn it off but you quickly grabbed her arm to prevent her from doing so.
“Is it still your favourite?” She asked and you answered with a nod. Of course it was. It was the song Larissa used to introduce you to her favourite band.
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
You looked through the window and bit on the inside of your cheeks. Everything about this song reminded you of her.
“Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am young again.” Larissa softly sang along to the lyrics. “Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am fun again.”
Her fingers gently drummed on the steering wheel and your eyes drifted to her face, your heart swelling with yearning when you barely audibly whispered the next lyrics.
However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
You sighed in relief when the song came to an end and Larissa parked the car outside the bar.
“I’ve been here a couple of times, it’s very cosy and usually not too noisy.” She said as she pulled the door to let you in.
The place was dimly lit, people sat in booths with seating made out of leather and velvet. There were mouldings on the ceiling and the wooden walls were covered in framed artwork. It felt chic, expensive and, you dared to think, a little romantic.
“Have a seat, darling.” Larissa said, her hand on the small of your back gently pushing you towards an empty booth.
“Do you remember the first time I had alcohol?” You asked her once you had settled down and the waiter had taken your order - a bottle of red, which Larissa picked, and an antipasti board to share.
“If I remember?” Larissa laughed and shook her head a little at the memory. “I felt guilty for weeks!”
It had been on your eighteenth birthday. The two of you had shared a glass of rosé and a piece of cheesecake that she’d bought from the Weathervane for the occasion. She’d made you swear that you wouldn’t tell anyone she had let you sip on her wine.
“Good thing I’m legally allowed to drink now, then.” You grinned when the waiter poured you a glass.
You weren’t sure wether it was a good thing or not, actually. Alcohol had a tendency to loosen your tongue, you had found out through the years, and you usually weren’t what they called a “happy” kind of drunk.
“To friendship that lasts, even after years apart!” Larissa smiled, raising her glass.
“To friendship.” You nodded and clinked your glass against hers. You would need more than wine if she used the word friendship again.
“So,” Larissa put her glass down after taking a sip. “Tell me everything, I want to know everything that you’ve done since graduating.”
So you told her. You told her about going to university and failing. Picking up another course only to realise mid-year that you didn’t like it. Twice. How you struggled to find your place, how nothing ever seemed to be distracting enough.
“What did you need to be distracted from?” Larissa suddenly cut you off, her chin resting on her hand as she listened to you.
You. I needed to be distracted from your memory. I needed to find something, anything to replace you. But to no avail. The heart wants what it wants, and mine wanted you, it still does.
“Who knows?” You shrugged and thanked the waiter who had just placed the food on the table.
“And now? Have you found what you were looking for?” Larissa asked, worry painted on her features. “I could always help if you need anything. You were a brilliant student, I’m sure I could find you a nice job if you let me give a couple of phone calls.”
Have I found what I was looking for?
“I go from job to job. It’s not as bad as it sounds. It gives me the opportunity to try many, many things.” You picked an olive from the board and popped it in your mouth, washing it down with a few sips of wine.
That’s when you noticed them, the two women sitting together in the booth at the back of the bar. One as young as you and the other one closer to Larissa’s age. They could have been mistaken for a mother and her daughter if it wasn’t for the fact that they had chosen to sit next to each other rather than one on each side of the table.
“Are you with me?” Larissa waved her hand in front of your face, your eyes immediately snapping back to hers.
She poured you another glass as well as one for herself and started talking again. You tried your best to listen to what she was saying, you really did, but after a few seconds, your attention was back on the two women across the room.
There they were, their hands gently intertwined, sharing soft laughters and stolen glances. Their connection was palpable, their love radiating like an aura around them. A pang of longing coursed through your body. How badly you yearned for something like this.
“Is everything alright?” Larissa’s hand was on yours now, her eyes searching for yours. “Why are you crying? You know that you can tell me anything.”
“Crying?” You repeated, your free hand moving to wipe your cheeks. When had tears started rolling down your face?
“Fuck, I can’t do this.” You said before emptying your glass and getting on your feet. You grabbed your jacket and pulled a few bills from its pocket, enough to pay for both Larissa and yourself.
“Wait-“ You heard the tall woman say but you were already on your way to the door.
Hot tears flooded your cheeks as you walked down the street, ignoring the tall woman calling your name a few feet behind you.
“For heaven’s sake!” Larissa grabbed your arm and yanked you back. “What is wrong with you?!”
“What is wrong with me?!” You laughed, tears still falling from your eyes. You needed to get away from her before your loosened tongue started saying things that you could never take back. “I’m going back to Nevermore, getting in my car and leaving this hell hole. Forever this time.”
If your words hurt Larissa, she didn’t let it show. Choosing instead to cup your face ever so gently. You had tried hating her, but how could you?
“Let me take you to a hotel. You will have a good night of sleep and we’ll talk in the morning. How does that sound?” She offered, her thumb caressing your cheek.
You silently nodded in agreement and Larissa pushed a small smile, her arm wrapping around your shoulder as she walked with you to the nearest hotel.
She took care of everything, booking the best room available and even paying for it. Asking the front desk to wake you up at nine the next morning.
“There you go.” She pushed the door to your room open and followed you inside. It was way too luxurious but you said nothing, grateful for everything she was still doing for you.
“Well, I should go back to Nevermore now.” Larissa said, hands clasped in front of her.
“Thank you.” It came out of your mouth as a whisper and you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around the tall woman again.
You held her close and tight as if it was the last time you would ever have the chance to hug her. And she held you back as close and as tight as you did as if it was the last time she would get the chance to hug you.
“No more tears.” She said when she eventually pulled away, holding onto your chin to look into your eyes. “There always is a solution, my darling, I promise. Whatever is bothering you now, we will find a way to fix it, together.”
Together. Surely that would fix you, you and her together.
Larissa’s lips pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before she wished you goodnight, reminding you to drink plenty of water to avoid a headache in the morning.
As soon as she was out of the room, you started sobbing again. You couldn’t help it, you had to get all of these feelings out or you would go crazy.
You fell asleep that night clutching onto the pair of leather gloves that Larissa had gifted you, holding them close against your chest hoping they would somehow soothe your aching heart.
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Tag list: @enchantressb @kimiinou
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evvlevie · 2 years
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I SHIFTED FOR THE FIRST TIME !!!!  (as detailed as a shifting blogger can be but scroll down for the juicy part)
Hi, Hello, my beautiful beautiful readers! It's your favorite blogger Evie again and I don't know where to begin 😭 You've read the title so you know damn well what this post is about, and I am freaking over the moon to say it finally happened!
"So how did you shift?" Is most likely your very first question, and I promise I will answer it, but not without giving you full context on what led up to this magical event (or just scroll down in case only the shifting part concerns you)
so as I mentioned in my last post I had been in this state of not putting any effort into my shifting attempts anymore and basically treating shifting like any other of my manifestations: that it will happen on its own, if I simply want to.
⇣the post in question in case you're interested⇣
"Did it work?", you may be wondering. It did not. It might work for other people, because some points I made in that post still apply to me, but the idea of just counting on it to happen on its own didn't really work in my case. This being said, just because it didn't work for me, doesn't mean it can't work for you, and if you are an advanced manifestor who has complete trust in the law, this mindset might even be yours to apply.
Ever since I posted this, some days went by and my typical shifting-cycle repeated. I didn't shift after being so confident I would, and then the realization hit hard and I became severely demotivated. I even told my shifting bestie I was about to give up and lucky for me she motivated me and gave me back my faith. Speaking of faith: I had been noticing that certain angel numbers kept reoccurring in my life. The numbers being 1237 and 119. These numbers seem random, but 12:37 is the time my niece was born and 11th of September is my birthday. (yes I was born on 9/11, no not in the year that it happened, but two years later which is basically irrelevant information but it's a little fun fact about me.) I always thought the universe was showing me my birthday, up until I googled both of these numbers and realized they both mean something among the lines of "keep faith and trust in the universe". And lucky for you I did.
⇣small fangirl and shout-out-moment ⇣
Then on Monday I had a doctors appointment, and being bored in the waiting room I opened Tumblr. My feed was full of law of assumption content and I actually took the time and read through them all, and I reposted the ones I felt like gave me a lot of insight. Now to the freaking craziest part of all of this. (okay not true but it sure meant the world to me). I wake up in Tuesday and see that THE @astra-nomy reposted my post about the newest shifting tip I had found, and not only that, my comfort-shifter @multiversebaddie not only liked one of my posts, BUT FOLLOWED ME BACK. All in the same night and even right after another. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THAT DID TO ME????? I was like no, nope you guys, I can't not shift if my favourite shifting and loa bloggers fucking found out I existed. (APHRODITE FOLLOWS ME I CANT COMPREHEND THAT). Plus @lavender--fairy commented on the post mentioned earlier, and her post that I reblogged, was the one who actually gave me the key to shifting. Hell yes. I mean I knew what I needed to know from other bloggers anyway, but her post actually brought me back to the correct mindset.
✧THE ACTUAL SHIFTING EXPERIENCE AKA THE REASON YOU ARE READING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE✧
so now it is Wednesday. I never really talked about what DR I am shifting to, and I mentioned it somewhere on an old ass post but to put it as briefly as I can: my DR contains a certain group of YouTubers, and I am shifting so I can be friends with them. Now they post videos on Wednesdays and due to the time difference I get to watch them at 11:30 pm, so basically right before going to bed. I went and grabbed a quick shower and then I laid in bed and started doing what I was always doing: affirming. But due to me being me this quickly turned into overthinking and overcomplicating EVERYTHING which is why I stopped, went back on TikTok to clear my thoughts a little and then returned to my attempt.
✨ THE METHOD ✨
☞ I laid in a position most comfortable to me and I started imagining myself in my DR making myself ready for bed. In my head I reminded myself of the thing that I was able to remember due to @lavender--fairy 's post: The 4D is the real reality, and the 3D is only the translation of your inner thoughts. meaning: if I can visualize it, I am already IN it.
☞ Along with me imagining my DR-me doing what I did, I always reminded myself (affirming if you will) that if I can imagine it, I am in it. I purposely chose the Visualization of me doing things I was already doing in my CR day-to-day because you can feel the moment so much better and ground yourself in that reality way easier than imagining me climbing a mountain since I never did that.
☞ I was making myself aware over and over again, that the imagination is the real reality and that if I can imagine it, I am in it. For as long as I was trying to fall asleep. I even moved and rearranged my position constantly, imagining that I was my DR-me doing the same thing. I really just emerged myself in that visualization and started feeling what ever I did, because essentially that's how manifestation works. You don't need to worry about the 3D, and you don't have to feel like you're lacking something. You imagined it in the 4D, so you already did it silly!
☞ In combination to that I never forced myself to stay focused on my DR. Because as mentioned in this post below, you are supposed to let you mind do its own thing in a way, because you can't shift If you are too aware of what you are trying to do.
✨ THE MOMENT ✨
I found myself in this weird state between falling asleep and still being conscious enough to see and understand what you are envisioning. So I was technically awake while it happened. I didn't visualize my DR anymore, instead my mind went into a completely different direction and I saw myself buying milk with Harry Styles. No I did not even script him into my DR, this was just my brain doing brain things. Nonetheless I was still affirming that if I can see it, I am in it, and suddenly I felt myself getting pulled. I heard a little whooshing sound and I literally zoomed out of my body. I was standing in a dark corridor and I could see an open door in the distance with a little something happening in the room it was leading to but I was too far away to see what was happening. Suddenly the corridor started spinning and I felt myself getting pulled into a whole different door. I gained consciousness in this unknown room, but I couldn't tell where I was, or what I was seeing, because it was just dark in there and my eyes had no chance of adjusting quickly enough. I panicked and before I could even comprehend it, I knew I set the intention to shift back to my CR. I got pulled back into this mysterious corridor and shoved into another door by some weird energy and I opened my eyes back in the CR. I know it wasn't a dream because this whole zooming out, the mysterious energy sending me from door to door and the random dark room felt way too physical for it to be a dream. I could literally feel myself in this corridor as only a "being" of some sort, but definitely not as a human with a physical form. From the many success stories I have read regarding shifting realities, I have noticed that many shifters do not reach their desired reality on their first try. Almost every shifter that has talked about shifting mentioned that their first shift was weird and to a strange, undefined reality. (@multiversebaddie shifted to a random ass classroom for example)
✨ ADVICE TO TAKE AWAY FROM THIS EXPERIENCE ✨
I believe I shifted when I did, because my mind was in this gloomy state between conscious and unconscious, which ultimately made me believe myself on the spot when I told myself the affirmations I mentioned earlier. I did not doubt them and that's probably why the void state is such a powerful state to be in, because even if I wasn't, I imagine it to be very similar to this.
Another thing, that won't hurt you is educating yourself on the law of assumption. I know it helped me a lot and I believe that people who struggle with shifting, would benefit if they understood the way manifestation worked because ultimately manifestation and shifting is the same thing.
If you read everything from top to bottom: I love you. If you are doubting shifting, your ability to do it, or wether or not it is real: I can guarantee you as a first-person-witness: not only is it real, it's something every single dingus out there can achieve! And if I can help you in any way, shape, or form: don't be afraid to ask.
I send a lot of love and a lot of positive vibes to everyone reading this! I had been waiting to do this post ever since I created my blog and I still can't believe that I finally got to do it 😭
Yours in every reality
Evie <3
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kiwiana-writes · 8 days
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WIP Wednesday
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Thanks to @anincompletelist for the tag! I didn't have anything prepared to share this week and was panicking about it, and Beas offered to give me a number for me to write a few sentences from whichever WIP that number corresponded to on my list, and of COURSE she accidentally picked the fully epistolary one aka rockstar Alex exes to lovers. The fully coded/skinned version with images is under the cut for maximum effect/fun, or here's the text on its own:
TWITTER THREAD: Likely candidates for the topic of ACD’s #TheLakeHouseAlbum, a (mostly ordered) thread: 1/? Nora Holleran: I know they’re on record as being just friends but they’re SO FUCKING FLIRTY… I don’t know, something about the way they interact with each other makes my spidey senses tingle. Though them both being back on the market WOULD be a win for bisexuals everywhere. Evidence in favour: lyrics about losing your best friend and partner in one fell swoop, Deuxmoi stories a couple of years ago about the two of them going to a hotel together + reports of loud sex noises. Evidence against: See last tweet re: repeatedly on record as just friends. 47/? Henry Fox: It’s weirdly hard to find pics of them together, even at events we KNOW they were both at; kinda suspicious. Both gorgeous, queer, creatively talented men (if you’re not familiar with Henry Fox’s books, start with Looking For Orion; I cried for three days). Evidence in favour: all the refs to distance could be literal not metaphorical (Henry’s UK-based), a ton of literary allusions that overlap with ones Henry’s used in his books.<br> Evidence against: There were rumours of a feud a few years ago (vigorously denied by both teams). 69/69 ACD’s guitar: Okay you KNOW I couldn’t leave the thread on 68 but I think there might be some merit to this. The pics ACD puts on insta of his guitar are framed and shot with more love than the pics my girlfriend takes of me. (For legal reasons this is a joke.) Wasn’t expecting this thread to blow up, so a disclaimer: this is all in good fun and I don’t know any of these people. But this album is stunning and raw and heartbreaking and not to get all parasocial about it but I really do hope ACD is okay ❤️
Tagging @affectionatelyrs @agame-writes @celeritas2997 @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @dumbpeachjuice @everwitch-magiks @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @jellibuns @junebugclaremontdiaz @leaves-of-laurelin @littlemisskittentoes @lizzie-bennetdarcy @magicandarchery @matherines @myheartalivewrites @ninzied @nocoastposts @nontoxic-writes @notspecialbabe @orchidscript @read-and-write- @rmd-writes @sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @smc-27 @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @three-drink-amy @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play! (If you take the open tag please tag me so I can see!!)
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