#i know some fans may feel sad hurt or disagree with opinions

[regardingjenmish]

Thank you for being a voice of reason in this whole cluster. As a bi person, would it have been awesome for Misha to be coming out? Hell yeah. But he wasn't (yet who knows what the future holds). He messed up, he apologized and meant it. It was (I believe) an honest mistake. We've all been there, said something that came out wrong or made a joke that didn't land right. We may never know why he said what he did but he knows he messed up and apologized. I've seen (and blocked) people who were acting like he ruined their lives and killed their family. And it just seemed... like overkill? I get being upset he said it, or that he seemed to be making a joke out of being bi (which I don't think was his intention). I get being sad we can't claim him as "one of us" but this one mistake doesn't invalidate all the good he's done and will continue to do. Nor does it invalidate anyone who is queer? I'm still bi even though he isn't? Him being straight doesn't make me less bi nor does him being straight ruin my life in anyway? (not that I speak for all queer people obvi) Thankfully, I haven't seen too many people overreacting (and blocked those who were), but I just wanted to thank you for being rational. I love the blog, keep up the good work!

Anon, you said literally everything that I've been thinking and feeling for the past two days. I am already sorry in advance for the long ass response this will get. (All of this is clearly my own opinion so if someone reading it disagrees, cool)

It would feel amazing if we could say that he's one of us but even if he is not that doesn't change a lot of things in my opinion.

He messed up and he will learn from it and he immediately took ownership of that fuck up. He didn't blame it on anyone else except himself. He clearly realized his mistake and you can tell he feels horrible over it just from how the apology is worded. This is a person who cares a lot about us and would never do something to hurt us on purpose. There are celebs out there who when they fucked up, their version of apology was 'my bad..but like eh shit happens' so in my book, his apology was good and enough (for me).

For all we know maybe he did retract once he realized this is getting too much attention from media and everyone else. Maybe he did think that a little 'im all three' comment would stay in the fandom. And yes maybe the reason why I am having a different reaction or opinion to this is due to the fact that as someone who is bi, I have never been able to (nor will I probably be able to) say that outside of tumblr. And unfortunately I've had moments where I said something that could've revealed a glimpse of my sexuality and Ii had to retract and turn it into a dumb joke. And it fucking sucks.

And I fully agree with you, I don't think he meant to make this a joke. I think it was just a shit ton of bad timing and bad luck. And the way some fans have been treating him is horrible. The fans who have decided that this somehow ruins their lives, need to take a step back and take a deep breath. Because like you said, it does look like overkill. I understand there are fans who are upset and I won't tell them not to be. But there is a side of fans who decided that this gives them the right to practically wish death on him. I hate to say it like this but it's not that deep. And I fully agree with you. None of this changes shit. We're still bi. People are still queer. We are still fucking amazing and loved (which we have always been). I think this kind of opens a look into that maybe we as people shouldn't measure our value by celebs that we relate to however, I'm not gonna go into that.

And this also does not erase the amazing things he has done for us. In the end of the day he's still Misha. The same dude who has fought for us and stood up for us. And has done so many other things for our community. Again I am so sorry for the long ass response but I didn't want to give you some shitty short answer because everything you said has been on my mind.

[strscrossed]

hi, rae. it’s starlightkiki on ao3. ☺️

i feel the need to reveal myself to give you support (i hope would be enough) as a fellow EM writer or EM enjoyer—though i would never ever ever call or consider myself as an EM writer. 😅

i was just got home from a very hectic work and logged in to twitter only to find that there was a buzz there: that there was someone (or some?) who openly expressed their insult for your Warlord story—the Warlord story that many EM fans, including myself, really love to read. 🩷

umm… i may not be a good fanfic writer but… i’ve been there, done that.

to receive and to read the slur is sucks, indeed. it even makes hurt, heartbroken, and so sad. and you have every right to vent all your frustrations about it.

but, the more sucks part is… well, that’s life. 😔

there will always be people who despise, make fun of, and speak harshly even if we didn’t do harm and never even touch them.

that sucks, it is. but there will always be such people like that, and there's nothing we can do about it.

so, i think, it’s better not to give them a damn and let them to go fuck themselves.

they are not worth of any of your precious attention.

it’s more more more beneficial to focus on the fun we're all having here, talking about eremika, discussing any AU prompts that keep us all entertained and happy and, maybe, have a good laugh. — to be honest, i really really enjoy scrolling through your asks here in this blog. ☺️

i would like you to know that there are more people who love your (Warlord) story and really enjoy to discuss about it rather than one or two haters but enormously noisy as hell.

don’t let the "empty barrel" let you down, rae, and stop you from having fun. ☺️🩷

i hope you keep doing what you love doing, and we’ll always support you…

Warlord Eren’s to Valhallaaaa!! 🤘🏼😂

omg hi kiki!!!

and you’re a writer 🩷 plenty of people love your work so I respectfully disagree with your statement that you’re not any good. 😊

yeah I think it’s largely died down and if it’s still happening, I’m not seeing it and I’d prefer not to. people are entitled to their opinions on my work. I never had an issue with people disliking my fics. I just ask to be treated like a person, not just a username you know?

thank you so much for saying this 😊 these messages make me smile and I have received a lot of support.

AND OMG THE MAD MAX FURY ROAR REFERENCE!!!!!

[rareandunpophetaopinions]

“First of all, sorry if my English is a bit strange (it isn’t my mother language).

Sometimes, I think I’m the only person who doesn’t like RusAme.  Honestly, RusAme is my biggest NOTP, which is sad because my favorite character is Russia, so when I’m looking for images of him, RusAme is in my face (I’m not saying that the images are bad, after all, that is how the fandom is kept up).

In my opinion, I don’t like self-destructive or toxic relationships. It’s okay if other people like them (I have friends who like RusAme for that and I understand that it is necessary for dark fanfics or for the progress of the relationship), but for me, I feel that is not good for Russia and America (maybe it’s because I have another point of view when seeing the personifications). As I was saying, I feel that both Russia and America need to be with someone that brings them down from their cloud of power. I know that they’re pretty aggressive when they want, and for that I can’t see them together. The only thing that I can stand about RusAme are the memes, sorry.

I love Russia, and, well, America is not a character that I like, but when I read RusAme, I wanna punch them in the face so hard and I don’t want that to happen.  I really want to love all characters but with RusAme… I don’t like America so hard, but I really appreciate him as a character.

I’m sorry if I sound a bit offensive for the people that ship RusAme, but always (or almost) one feels offended when someone says that don’t like a couple that you like. I don’t like the ship but I really like the people that keep the fandom and create things that they like <3

That’s all. Thanks!“

First of all, there’s no need to apologize about English not being your first language - I can understand it quite well, and I tend to fix the grammar and spelling, anyway.  :D (plus, English is my first language and yet I screw up a lot with it, so...orz)

Also, if it makes you feel better Anon, I don’t like RusAme, either.  However, I’m pretty sure nobody would feel offended at what you said.  At least no respectful fan would.  Everyone is entitled to like and dislike a ship.  Sure, one can feel sad or a little hurt or disagree, but offended? I think for someone to feel offended because somebody doesn’t like their fictional pairing is a bit extreme and rather immature behaviour.

- Mod V

[the-knight-of-the-stars]

Can I ask why you hate wandavision? something won´t sit right with me and wanted to see your reasons

Wow, this is a strange old question... but I get it (? I guess...

Mmmm... well... It's complicated. I did hate it, not gonna lie, for multiple reasons. And despite what some might think, it's not for the theories that didn't became true or for the fake Peter thing. Those were like the final spit in the face but that is not my main reason at all.

Want to make clear, this is MY personal opinion, you can totally disagree, it's just the way I experienced it.

I´ll try to be brief. First, I did not like the whole structure of the show. It may be just me, but as a big fan of mystery, I don't think it worked. They start very well, the first episodes are engaging, and have a very good mystery around the whole thing. I loved them, we had no idea of what the fuck was happening and it was awesome.

And then they did what I most HATE in mystery. They built up the mystery and then... nothing happened. It happened several times, they would make a big deal about a revelation, and it turned out to be nothing, not really that important, or something we already knew. It just felt cheap. They make you wonder what is happening, and boringly answer it in episode 4. They leave the crumbs and then deliver nothing, at least for the most part. And come on, the writers are not stupid, they knew the fans would theorize with those crumbs and just used them to keep us watching. Let's put a pin here.

Second and most important, Wanda. I HATED what they did with her. And in retrospect, it's a problem that comes since she was first introduced. If she was a poorly written character before, I think this show absolutely destroyed her.

Let me try to explain my view. Wanda´s character falls under the terrible trope of "I do bad things but at some point, the writers decided you have to forgive me because I have suffered" And she just stays there.

You´ll see, until the very last episode, I was into it, I had hope in the show. I cried along with everyone with "grieve is love persevering" and all. I think this is what angers me the most, it started so well, it was Wanda´s story with her grieve. Because you´ll see... I used to identify myself a lot with her.

Not so long ago, I also lost someone I deeply loved, like Wanda, and with whom I did not felt like I had enough time. And you know what I learned since then? Grieve is a horrible thing.

Often the media tones down what grieve really is, or what it can do to a person. It makes it look like is just "feeling really sad". When it really is so much more. Grieve can be so ugly, truly so ugly. It puts you in a terrible place where you can do terrible things. You fall into a hole aand it changes you. And it is a very human thing.

When this show progressed, I thought that they would finally show this ugly side of grieve, it was a perfect metaphor, her powers were making everyone literally feel her pain.

And they did, but the problem is that it just ended there. Because the most important thing about getting out of this ugly grieve is realizing that your pain does not give you the right to hurt others, is realizing that you are not the only one in pain, is learning that even in grieve, you are still responsible for your actions. I do not lie when I tell you, this is part of the healing process, it is a fundamental part of what gets you out of the hole.

Everyone that has lost someone knows that part of the healing is not just getting out of the hole, is also learning to live with your pain and with the ugly emotions it makes you feel. Is learning to deal with the consequences what helps you get better.

But Wanda doesn't do that, and is terrible, not only as a message, but it also doesn't let the character have real growth, real healing.

She suffers so she makes others suffer and then goes to the mountains. This cycle of pain is never broken. Its straight up a villain origin story, but nobody took it that way. Because the show wants you to feel bad for her, wants you to have empathy for her and to think she is still a hero.

Even Tony Stark, who is a totally different kind of problematic, becomes a hero because he actually tries to right his wrongs. Thor becomes a better man because he faces consequences for his arrogance. When exactly Wanda has this change of heart? The answer is never.

This show made me realize that this is not new, Wanda has always been like this. Her family died so she joined fucking Hydra, a literal terrorist nazi organization. And there are no consecuences. Then she joins Ultron, who she and Pietro helped for a big part of the movie. And she had no remorse in traumatizing the avengers and what's worst, unleashing the Hulk to an African town full of innocent people that died because what? Because Hawkeye made her head hurt so she was pissed? And again, there are no consecuences. The avengers never bring it up again and oh, she is a hero now.

Even in Civil War, she feels guilty for ten minutes, and then the movie makes her the victim again, because "oh poor her, Tony doesn't trust her and keeps her in the tower". And in Infinity War, she doesn't want Vision to die so she lets thousands of wakandians die in battle, yeah very heroic.

Almost every decision Wanda makes, even if it's made out of love, or pain, or grief, is selfish, immoral, and very harmful. And there are never consequences. She is just the victim. So she never grows, she never has to have a change of heart. Because everyone around her lets her get away with it.

Wandavision makes this problem even worst because it tries to distract you from the fact the Wanda is the real villain of the story by putting generic evil white dude here, and by putting Agatha, and making you believe that what they did to Wanda is somehow worst than what she is doing to an entire town.

They distract you with the false mystery, and the references, and the adorable kids, and how powerful she is. This is where I see the full problem with the structure I mentioned early. They don't commit to a single narrative, nor the mystery, nor the grieve. That is why the end feels disappointing and incomplete, at least for me, and I know I'm not the only one.

And the worst part is, is not the first place I see this. And the Wanda problem happens a lot with female characters. And I hate it. Is not empowering to see an abuser getting powers just because she is a woman. Is not empowering to see her have the empathy of everyone when all she has done is cause pain.

Don't get me wrong, I´m not saying Wanda didn't deserve empathy when this story started, or when she was grieving. Everyone deserves to have it, especially people in pain or with trauma. But you can have sympathy for someone and still calling them out for the pain THEY cause. You harm them more by not doing so. You are keeping them from growing out of it and healing.

How cool would it have been if Monica didn't just defend Wanda for no real reason and instead challenge her? What if she had told her all the pain she was causing and made her actually face it, face all the pain she was inflicting, and made her realized that all that pain would not really bring Vision back, it would not make her feel better, it was not worth it.

What if Wanda had to fight a hero like Monica, someone who is willing to sacrifice herself for others and who is also in pain but is choosing to be good anyways, who still takes the time to try and reason with her. What if it made her realize that she is becoming a villain, she is becoming like the people who took away her parents, and her brother, and Vision.

But no, there is no time to do that. There is no time for her nor the audience to really recognize all the pain she caused because we are now fighting Agath, and Wanda was a new suit, and let's feel a little more sorry for Wanda, and oh how sad, she has to say goodbye to the kids and Vision.

At the very least, she should have gone to a prison or a bunker or something. Like hun, why is Monica just letting her go free to the mountains with an unknown dark magic book after all that? No matter how sorry you feel for her, she is clearly dangerous, she has proven that. She showed you how unstable she is and how little control she has over her enormous power.

To all this I already said, add the racist connotations on how Monica's character was written, and the toxic way Wanda and Visions relationship is shown, and the writers blaming the fans for theorizing, and the terribly made final battle and the false Peter.

So yeah, this show felt like an insult. I can't bring myself to enjoy the cute show's parodies, and the beautiful costumes, and the natural charm and talent of all the actors, and the really funny lines, and the magnificent setting. And it's a shame because all that is truly good, because I know a lot of people worked really hard to make it happen and they did a fantastic job.

But everything about that finale makes me feel like the rest of the show, within the narrative, was all along worthless.

[zodiacrant]

🍩My experiences with each Moon sign🍩

(Cause yall are messy)

I have done this a few times before but for Sun signs and did rank placements but never shared my thoughts and experiences with the Moon signs.

Now I know how this goes, so if you get mad or sad then go off I guess. Aint the first time I get cursed out or attacked in this bitch. Plus, I am a Cap moon so naturally I won’t do well with some Moons and I will be nitpicking everything about everyone.

🍩Aries Moon🍩

My dad’s moon. Yup, that tells you alot without me even starting. Having our Moons in Square shit was hard to say the least. It took a long time for us to be on middle grounds and because I don’t feel comfortable talking about my problems here I will continue on. The Aries Moon that I really like and can think of is Rihanna, so I would say it’s unfair to make a whole judgment but from what I saw and heard they’re not exactly the best to be around. So I give them a 3/10 for being bold and having nerve.

🍩Taurus Moon🍩

Now this Moon right here I know people from ( a close friend and my sister, plus some others) and I don’t have many strong opinions about it. As a Taurus Sun, it can be a challenge to work with a Taurus Moon. I am stubborn at my core and they’re stubborn with their heart, so everytime we disagree it’s like a rope pulling contest. Way too stagnant for me but I think that’s because of my other placements and they don’t take any advice or open up no matter what. On to the good, I never disliked someone with this placement. No matter how much of an asshole they can be, to me it is difficult to hate them or stay mad at them. They’re warm, kind, and sweet but a bit aloof and naive, also they don’t like to touch and hug as some people might think. I will give them a 8/10

🍩Gemini Moon🍩

(⚠️TW⚠️ mention of rape and erratic behavior)

I only had one best friend with this placement and I don’t I want to meet any more, and I am at peace with that if they resemble her in any way. She was a maniac. She loved to lie, create drama, blow shit up, act crazy and basically be shocking. I do find similarities with Gemini Sun where they do shit for reactions but with her, she will take it to the next level. Lie about being raped, act possessed, or pretend that she is being followed. It’s not fair to associate her with people who share the same Moon as her but that was y’all’s representation in my life. She was erratic so it’s difficult to see where her Moon was in effect and where she was just off. I’ll give them a 1/10, would not recommend until proven otherwise.

🍩Cancer Moon🍩

The first that comes to my mind is Taylor Swift and to me she is the ultimate Cancer Moon. It juat makes sense how fast she takes it to the next level with people. Whether getting serious quickly with someone or throwing down and feuding. She just always at a 100. Personally, I never got close with someone who has this placement, maybe it’s because I am a Capricorn Moon myself, but I would say the ones that I have met were nice. I’ll give them a 5/10

🍩Leo Moon🍩

I only had one best friend with this placement but the people I have met with this Moon I still remember. They all had one thing in common and that was being emotionally traumatized and have lost one parent. My best friend was super loyal, very confident in what they believed in and represented, were always there for me and had an amazing ability in motivating others. But they were also super prideful and there’s no coming back with them. Fight once and it’s over. (Yes I am looking at you Jonnie). One of the other people was with me in uni and always had the to urge won up me and my friend. He had scars all over and he doesn’t remember how he got them. But he was super proud of himself and his home country, which I respect and admire. I’ll give them a 6/10

🍩Virgo Moon🍩

I know two people with this placement, my mom and a professor at uni, and oh boy it makes sense that they’re a Virgo Moon. Me and my mom are too alike that we clash strongly at times. She thinks she can do it better and I think I can do it better and we just have like a competition on who done it better basically. From cooking, to how you light the stove, to how you put on clothes, to how you lay down on bed. Both my mom and my professor are super critical and precise, althogh my professor is a double Virgo (Sun and Moon) so she will go even further. They have to do everything as it arises and act like there’s no time and everything is about to go wrong. Like damn sis chill the fuck out for a sec and this is coming from a Cap moon so you know it’s bad. But I really like Virgo Moon, even though people might hate such a personality but I can relate to them in some ways. I’ll give them 7/10

🍩Libra Moon🍩

My only online friend that I talk to all the time got this Moon. Other than her I met only two people and they were something. Okay so for my friend, because I never actually have seen her physically with my own eyes I can’t say how she acts all the time, but she is one of the best listeners I had in my life. She likes to hear me ramble for an hour about a dumb encounter that lasted a second, talking about astrology and some nerdy things and then not so nerdy things. I believe that it’s a Libra Moon quality to be emotionally versatile and attentive. I think because she is a Leo dominant she acts much fiery and fiercely than a Libra would. As for the other people I just thought they were fake. One acted as a friend but then would just disappear so I was over it quickly and the other was super passive and pretentious that I think she shits out plastic. All in all I think it’s a great Moon. I’ll give them a 7/10

🍩Scorpio Moon🍩

One of the hardest Moons I ever delt with but I find that I love them too. My oldest sister had this Moon and she is such a mystery. Because I am a Taurus Sun, it is only natural for me to have a hard time with a Scorpio Moon. Even though she is an extrovert, she rarely talks about herself and her feelings, you will never catch her slipping or show vulnerability. I can see how difficult it may be for her being a Cancer with a Scorpio Moon and have Gemini dominance. But she’s a bitch at heart and I am cool with it. I’ll give them 5/10 cause I am not a big fan of paradoxical people

🍩Sagittarius Moon🍩

A moon that I always babysat. I had two best friends with this Moon and if I was born a second earlier, it would mine too. I don’t know if it’s because of my Gemini Venus or my 0 degree Capricorn Moon but I love Sagittarius Moons. I was fortunate to see some of their weaknesses and for them to trust me enough to be vulnerable. But boy do they get themselves into the dumbest situation because they wanted to see what would happen. I had to babysit them and help them do everything like shopping, cooking, cleaning, assembling furniture, be their body guard when buying weed. (Shhhh it’s a secret). They’re in many ways immature cause they run from things and everytime you try to be real with them, they say “stop being negative”. I’ll give them a 9/10

🍩Capricorn Moon🍩

The grande dame of the Moon signs, sitting at it’s opposite planet. I have met many Cap Moons and honestly we are bitches 😂. The energy of sitting next to a Capricorn Moon is too fucking much like I never knew it’s like that. I noticed the way they stare, talk, walk and sit can be so aggressive and intimidating. I see why people might label us as bullies, cause the energy is definitely there and I myself was such a cunt (still a little but I am more aware of myself now) that I get where both are coming from. Life as a Capricorn Moon is emotionally flat. If wasn’t for my other placements you will never see me even flinch. I think we just take everything and let it process in our head before we let it into our hearts. So to me, we’re not mean, we just don’t see how something might be hurtful. But also that tone and that blank face, goddam! That’s why I try to smile cause bitch no, I didn’t know I was walking with a death stare this whole time. Anyways, I will give us 10/10 cause I am self appreciative like that 😂✌️

🍩Aquarius Moon🍩

I have always tried to understand Aquarius Moon and it was only a month ago that I have realized they themselves are not sure of who they’re. I had one best friend with this placement and three cousins (all siblings). First, my cousins are super competitive with each other on who gets to do what and if it happens that they’re similar in something they will get pissed. The person that was my best friend was like that as well. Only he would drop a an entire hobby, interest, something close to his heart, shit even a personality trait. I find them to be constantly changing and trying, so they shift between one end of extreme to the other until they center themselves. I’ll give them a 4/10

🍩Pisces Moon🍩

Now let’s talk about a depressing placement, in my opinion of course 😅. I don’t know if it’s the influence of Neptune on the Moon or is it the just the demeanor of Pisces, but good god girl get a grip (they call this the five G’s). My youngest sister is a Pisces Moon, and as creative as she is, she is pessimistic and overly cynical. I mean I am all for being critical and real but looking at everything with jacked up black sprayed glasses is just too much for me. Other than my sister I don’t know any Pisces Moon very well but I had a few acquaintances. I noticed that they talked about a specific thing and that’s it. I have found them to be amazing at drawing, painting and have an incredible artistic sense. At times twisted and dark, but I love the art that comes with it. I’ll give them a 5/10

Here’s the tea. It’s Pisces season so remember I am sensitive right now, and also it’s my life and I wish I met someone as amazing as you might think you’re. (Maybe that was a little too aggressive)

Okay love you ❤️

[beebrainedstudios]

A Few Notes About ADSOM’s Writing/Themes Type Stuff

Because I’m in the mood to ramble and have a few opinions about some smaller things in the series that I actually think are really cool/smart writing. This is all personal opinion and is based on a bunch of half-formed thoughts and realizations, so if you disagree or think I missed something, please know I probably did, I’m just jotting this down for fun and have not fully explored all these concepts yet. They just seem neat at first glance. Also, other books have probably done some of this stuff too; I’m not saying Schwab is the only one who’s done any of this stuff, I’m just saying that it’s cool that it’s in ADSOM. 

- First of all, props to Schwab for Alucard. I know there have been plenty of authors who have brought new characters in later in a series with no prior warning, but I have rarely seen one so immediately popular and gripping in a trilogy as Alucard except for Finnick from the Hunger Games. Alucard’s introduction doesn’t come at the cost of another character (as in, he’s not there to make someone who’s supposed to be bad look even worse) and his arc doesn’t supersede anyone else’s. He’s great, and the fact that he is generally considered part of the main group despite being introduced a whole book later is awesome and a testament to his character. 

- Sort-of connected to the previous point, but I think one of the reasons Alucard works so well is that he doesn’t have a giant arc. Everyone else in the series has a fairly complex internal conflict going on (excluding Lila, but she still has a long arc even if it’s shallow) and Alucard does too, but his is one that suits his shorter presence in the story; he doesn’t have to become king/learn to stop running from responsibility/change allegiances every five minutes. He just has to figure out how to confess a painful secret to several people who aren’t willing to listen. Schwab, especially in ADSOM, isn’t afraid to give characters different size arcs at different times; if you graphed them all, it wouldn’t be a bunch of near-identical lines that could be mistaken for one, it’d be a bunch of crazy curves that start and end at different times and reach different heights. When authors who have larger casts do this, it instantly makes the story twice as engaging. Alucard’s just a good example of this.

- I know this one’s a bit more controversial, but Kell/Lila actually has a lot of narrative potential for Threads of Power. In the main series, it’s framed against Rhy/Alucard, which is already an established relationship (even if it took a break) where the two characters know each other well; this is why, once Alucard can confirm he never meant to leave, the two get back together relatively smoothly and happily. Their relationship is much more matured than Kell and Lila’s, which is why Kell/Lila’s chemistry can sometimes read as a little strange (at least to me), and why I don’t think it’s necessarily a perfect relationship just yet. Lila is a very strong personality with a bit of a demanding streak; Kell in turn has a massive problem with caving to others and refusing to stand up for himself (I’m gonna talk about this later). Left unchecked, this will become a problem, but if addressed in Threads of Power, it can lead to two really engaging arcs with Kell learning he does not have to be everyone’s emotional punching bag and with Lila learning that it isn’t enough to just stay in a relationship- there has to be give and take, something she hasn’t demonstrated well yet. Maybe they’ll even take a break in Threads of Power to give the pair time to mature (I’m personally rooting for Alucard and Kell to somehow get stuck together while Lila gets stuck with Rhy). IDK, I think Kell/Lila is cool, especially when taken as a work in progress over a fully fledged relationship.

- This is part of the previous point and part of the following one, but I think the fact that Kell’s personality and problems are largely focused on his tendency to avoid conflict is a really cool idea for a protagonist, especially a man (note that I’m not calling him weak here). This may not sound like Kell’s personality, but let me explain. Kell is insanely noncombative, and almost everything he does to try and solve a problem reads to me as him actively trying to avoid confronting someone about it. “I don’t feel like part of the royal family because I have no princely attributes despite being one in name, and while I acknowledge I’m lucky I still can’t get rid of these feelings”- Smuggles instead of talking to the Maresh (he tried with Rhy and Lila and look how that turned out). “I’m feeling pent-up because I almost died multiple times in less than twenty-four hours/have trauma and am being punished with isolation/no longer even being called a son despite the fact my magic acts up when this happens”- Competes in the Essen Tasch instead of talking to Maxim. “I hate you because you hurt my brother’s feelings when you abandoned him and I had to pick up the pieces”- Consistently antagonizes Alucard instead of really confronting him/letting him explain himself because that would mean that Kell’s ingrained-trained protectiveness of Rhy has caused another problem. Kell is a character who seems very proud and sure of himself, but when one looks closer, he actually has very little confidence. He has no self-respect, and that sets him up great for his narrative foil- Holland.

- Holland and Kell have a complex narrative relationship as two very well developed foils, and a lot of this has been addressed by the fandom before, but one of the most interesting points I haven’t seen much of is their thematic exploration of respect vs pride. Holland is a character who doesn’t like himself- this much is obvious- but while he takes no pride in his own actions, he has an insane amount of self-respect. He has to be literally forced into following another’s will, he doesn’t let other people’s opinions get himself down, he gives as good as he gets always no matter how hard it is. Holland has to be beaten into submission, and even then he simmers with righteous anger over it because he knows he should get to make his own choices. Holland has self-respect; I may hate myself, but that doesn’t mean I will let you disrespect me. 

Meanwhile, Kell is a people-pleaser who puts on a facade of confidence who never actually uses it. Kell has pride in himself- in things like his magic, his coat, his wit- but he doesn’t actually have a lot of self-respect. He folds to anyone who is more demanding than him (AKA everyone else in the series), and the other characters abuse this constantly. Rhy, whether he means to or not, uses his influence over Kell to keep him from standing up to the Maresh over their constantly-shifting parenting positions. Maxim and Emira use their affection and respect like bait to get Kell to do what they want even when he’s uncomfortable. Lila can yell at Kell about his upbringing or accuse him of overprotectiveness (sometimes fairly, sometimes not) and Kell will simply stop talking. Kell just lets this happen; he doesn’t ever stand up for himself because he has been convinced things are usually his fault. I may like myself just fine, but I will let you walk all over me because it’s not my place to stop you and I’m probably the problem and also I shouldn’t have wanted XYZ in the first place. It doesn’t matter how much Kell debates with himself if he started the conflict or if he rails against the way he’s addressed- as long as Kell isn’t respected by his loved ones or the people around him, he won’t respect himself, and that is simultaneously really interesting and really, really sad. 

- Also on the Holland and Kell front, Holland using Kell as the metaphorical scapegoat for his issues makes perfect sense, especially since I think he actually knows he isn’t in the right. Kell is often in places where Holland is at least uncomfortable and at worst in pain, and he is the tangible representation of Red London, the world Holland hates most of all. I’m convinced Holland’s brain put two and two together, which is why Holland often punishes/hurts/hates Kell for Red London’s systemic issues even when it is obvious to everyone involved Kell isn’t to blame. Holland lashes out at Kell in their first meeting because he’s offended that Red London is successful and White London is not; this isn’t Kell’s fault. He blames Kell for a)killing him and b)killing the Danes and stealing his vengeance; this also isn’t Kell’s fault. He even seems to get a little bit of satisfaction over the idea of sicking Osaron on Red London through Kell, despite the fact that making a deal with Osaron wasn’t Kell’s idea either; it was Holland’s (Kell didn’t have a choice to kill him and didn’t think he’d survive, but Holland still seems to interpret it as Kell banishing him to Black London, even though he would absolutely do the same thing in his shoes). Holland is a very angry person and Kell is unfortunately put in his way a lot, but I still think it’s neat that the very-rational Holland seems to have an awareness that this behavior isn’t fair/has unfair intentions but still is unwilling to stop anyway. He’s using this grudge as a coping mechanism and that feels really realistic to me.

- Minor point here, but the knowledge that eye color and stuff is incredibly varied and changes with magic use makes my little artist heart very happy indeed. 

- I’m a big Osaron fan, and one of the things about him that I think is really cool is how completely unconcerned with revenge he is. Yes, he holds grudges against the Antari, but he doesn’t seem to care that he got locked in Black London for centuries. He has taken no personal offense over it, and that makes him seem even more inhuman to me- Holland spent like six hours in Black London and he carried that grudge for ages. Also, his complete certainty that he was not going to repeat the Black Plague in Red London is hilarious to me- he’s like a dog that keeps knocking its toy somewhere it can’t reach because it doesn’t compute that repeating the same action will always have the same result. Surely this won’t go wrong again, Osaron thinks, as the world once again starts dying off. He’s kind of an idiot, and I love that.

- The fact that Kamerov is both a knight and silver themed during a time when Rhy is throwing himself into his role as the Golden Prince may be unintentional, but is still cool nonetheless.

[cherry-interlude]

Lana Del Rey Unreleased Ranking (3)

This is a re-ranking of Lana's unreleased songs, after making a first a few years ago. This is all my opinion, which I don't mind anyone disagreeing with but don't come for me for it - honestly, I like every song, despite any criticism, and this ranking is very vague. It's based on objective and subjective opinion.

This is the third of five posts, with the middle songs.

Dreamgirl

Purely wholesome and dreamy, Lana adds some very fifties “shoo-wops” to play a fifties starlet whispering, her vocals soothing and soft along with the looping piano that guides the song.

Jimmy Gnecco

Breathless over the brisk guitar, Lana gushes over Jimmy – mixing her adoration of her lovers with wannabe-starlet fangirling. It’s one of her best acoustic tracks as she smirks and requests a trip to the park.

Elvis

Lana’s acoustic dedication to her icon Elvis Presley is memorable despite how stripped back it is. It could have been cleaner but Lana’s sorrowful desperation to be close to this man who she is such a fan of works well in being decent output from her.

Boarding School

It’s a difficult listen, considering Lana’s nostalgia is for a “pro-ana nation” and a school where “makig love with your teachers” is revered, but it may just be a satirical look at her time in boarding school when she was younger. I don’t enjoy listening to such worrying topics being handled in an upbeat song but the song itself has well-written lyrics and a great instrumental.

Television Heaven

This song is incredibly sweet, with lovely lyrics, dreamy verses and a distinctive pop feel, but it is definitely a strange mash of instrumentals. It’s not too jarring but it does make the song fall lower in ranking. It feels indecisive as it goes from sugary pop to a slightly darker feel in the choruses, and the lyrics aren’t the most imaginative in Lana’s library of tracks.

Be My Daddy

Lana’s full on sex-kitten in this song that opens with twangy guitars and her hushed “what’s up?” as she greets her potential “daddy”. With dirtier lyrics that she’s “open like a Christmas present” and how she’ll “fuck you”, Lana avoids keeping the sex in just the vibe of the song.

Break My Fall

Another song made for another artist, Lana this time sounds like she’s doing her own track. The pop sound is still ideal for actual music charts but Lana pulls the song off well, playing a strong woman far removed from the tragic women of many of her songs. It’s strong in quality and doesn’t stray into more experimental territory where many of Lana’s unreleased songs reside.

Hit and Run

With three versions to pick from (the poppy original, the Born To Die style slower version and the demo Criminals Run The World that’s a little more overt about Lana’s violent intentions), all three of these songs have something special about them. The pop version is bouncy and chaotic, perfect for a wild spree of gun fights and car chases. The slower version is much more seductive and measured, but a little too reflective compared to the manic power of the upbeat version. Criminals Run The World ranks much lower, not as smooth compared to Hit and Run but still with that insanity that makes Hit and Run a wild ride.

Heavy Hitter

With a jazzy introduction, Lana gives us a glamorous tale of a star having an overdose (somehow she makes it glitzy). However, following the suggestive chorus in which Lana asks her man to open his butterfly doors of his car (to drive her to get help, somehow delivered with seduction rather than horror), the lyrics get lost in Lana’s generic praising of herself and her wicked ways. However, it’s a staple of Lana’s unreleased music, even if I do skip after the (if you think about it) harrowing first verse and chorus.

Behind Closed Doors

The instrumental is a little bit all over the place, but it does work when Lana details her ill-received romance to her lover, then jumps right in the chorus to eagerly tell him how much she enjoys sleeping with him.

Gangsta Boy

Lana is inspired by Betty Boop as she croons and gasps her way through the track. The vibe is great, though the music falls a bit, but Gangsta Boy is playful, light-hearted fun.

You’re Gonna Love Me

Lana may be raw in her vocals and basic in her instrumentals (only a guitar) but Lana takes control, self-assured she will make the listener adore her. Her confessional whisper that she might just want to be loved gives this song a knowing edge despite the pondering questions and realism-on-the-edge-of-pessimism feel tone.

Living Legend

Lana’s Living Legend was intended for Ultraviolence, and whilst the song fits in it is definitely one of her more slumbering songs. Yet her sentiment is strong, her lyrics thoughtful and thoroughly enjoyable. All of the versions bring something a bit different but it is underlined by great song-writing.

Hey You

Lana has fun greeting a potential lover with this track and I have as much fun listening to it. The chorus is sparse and repetitive but Hey You is all about grabbing your attention rather than going to deep.

Is It Wrong?

Claustrophobic and guided by a smart riff and technological glitches, Lana pulls off the perfect unhinged groupie as she questions whether or not she is wrong for wanting the star of her dreams so much. The glitching is great for really seeing how Lana teeters on the edge of sanity for this guy she can’t resist, going from being the starlet to the foaming-at-the-mouth fangirl.

Playground

Lana becomes a rapper apparently in Playground and hits back at anyone who doubts her and her music. With a cloying chorus that compares the music industry to a playground of bitchy comments and school yard, Lana’s verses are smooth and her references overall decent. It can be a little bit clunky in places but it doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Motel 6

A cute little dance track which namedrops Jim and her sister, Chuck, Lana brings the party to her favourite motel, downplaying her glamour to throwback her ‘lore’ and her old life pre-fame. Though it’s very much just describing one night rather than anything complex, it’s harmless fun.

Dynamite

Like the explosive dynamite itself, this song is punchy, restless and powerful. Lana layers this dominating track with innocent references to ice cream and pillow fights whilst also not holding back from the sexual references.

Afraid

Neat and mournful, Lana finally breaks off from her toxic partner. Lana is either sick of being worried for the future or terrified of her partner, and its reflective sadness as she plans to go back home still leaves hope that she will be able to be happy.

Wayamaya

Rolling calmly like a beach wave, Lana takes us straight to Hawaii and paints us an image of handsome surfers and Mercurys. Wayamaya is simply a soothing, short, cute little track that keeps very much surface level.

Hawaiian Tropic

Plinky music paired with non-stressful verses and imagery of Hawaiian shirts, this is the (in my opinion) better version of Every Man Gets His Wish (which shares the same chorus). The subtlety of this track compared to Every Man Gets His Wish helps to convey the hurt feelings a lot better, with the nostalgic feel and mournful longing in the vocals.

Dum Dum

Lana plays the alcoholic star who name drops Scarlett O’Hara and Bugsy Malone as part of her identity. These lyrics are pretty witty and the song snappy but, like some of her unreleased music, is a bit too overproduced and not cohesive. The verses and choruses don’t quite gel which doesn’t make for a song that flows well but with tweaking it could be even better.

Hollywood’s Dead

Lana fits perfectly into the era of fifties with this mid-20th century driven track. It sounds perfectly in place for the decade she frequently romanticises (with a modern twist) and Lana’s crooning, tearful references to her icons drips with glamour.

Fake Diamond

For an anti-romance song, Fake Diamond is quite upbeat. Lana complains of her ‘lover’ who is one way with her, a different way with others, whilst comparing their relationship to all manner of Lana-themed aesthetics (diamonds, movie projectors, etc.). Comparing herself to a child, she practically has a tantrum in the chorus, stamping her feet lovingly as she demands he loves her. I do think this song is joyful, making fun of her inattentive lover whilst keeping one step ahead of his games.

I Must Be Stupid

Lana’s live unreleased track lets Lana enjoy her life despite the hurt that surrounds it, showing strength in the face of heartbreak and other such topics in her music. It was performed post-Lust For Life, an era in which Lana embraced the light side rather than simply the dark.

Live Or Die

The version that is a little bit more lowkey and, in some ways, mature in that it matches a lot of her early albums sound is good but it’s not my favourite. There’s the heady, ultra-pop second version that has plenty more sexy references, a little meow (iconic) and an overall vibe of just having fun on the run. The former version is a bit more serious, but the second is – though less good in terms of production – full of soul.

Velvet Crowbar

Velvet Crowbar is a song that shows the dark side of fame and bad boys, namely the way they self-destruct to the point that their adoring lovers (already addicted to these gangstas of course) are falling with them. This song is a warning to these destructive souls that they aren’t invincible, and an equal warning to the people that love them that they might just fall apart and lose them. Lana puts her emotion across so well, with her stark lyrics, anxious guitars and growling third chorus. Even her more flowery imagery doesn’t cover up the overt fear that runs through this song.

Your Band Is All The Rage

Probably one of Lana’s saddest songs (which could be a great deal many since she knows how to tug heartstrings), Lana lets go of her rock star lover despite still loving him in this acoustic track. She makes soulful promises to be there when he needs him, her love lingering until he wants her back, and utilises the country music theme to her advantage.

1949

The studio version is my favourite but the charm of the original, acoustic demo is unmatched. Despite the controversial inspiration for this track, Lana puts us straight in the world of the 1950s, with American motels and Kmart. It has a note of sadness – perhaps because of the unfortunate tale of Lolita that much of this song seems based on – but it works as one of Lana’s aesthetically pleasing and classic tracks.

Because of You

The spoken intro is a little bit cringe but the song is lovely. Lana plays an immature brat who fell in love with a good man who essentially tamed her (a little bit questionable for some in 2021). It’s got some of her most flowery imagery and it details how her relationship bought out the best of her. The casual comments she throws in throughout the song give this a real bedtime story feel, though this song is anything but sleepy.

Resistance

Frustrated but fun, Lana’s catchy and upbeat Resistance brings to mind surfers and sunny days set in the noughties. Even though she’s furious with the guy who’s causing her so much trouble it still, for a change, stays perky and pleasant. A song that needs more attention, it’s the type of song that gets people singing and dancing along to it.

Dangerous Girl

With a rock-feeling patriotic opening, Lana launches into a track about her prowess as a dangerous girl, like a deranged beauty queen with a gangsta on her arm. It’s simply fun, complete with wolf-whistles and an impression of a siren.

[msgrumpygills]

I'm here because of the anon talking about destiel and cockles shippers. First of all, I wanna say that I do both, sometimes pretty much over the top, but I always put "tinhatting" on top of every post in big, bold, red letters. I wanna talk about my personal experience with shipping a little if that's okay, if it's not, you can just ignore this, no big deal :)

For me, it's always a fun thing to do, shipping, theorizing, talking to people about the same interests. But at the end of the day it's just that: shipping. I don't care if it's romantic love, a platonic friendship or hell, even just very good pr. What I do care about is that Jensen and misha have some great chemistry. I have a bunch of friends in the Fandom by now and I have to say, they're all like me. I don't get the people who have to harass the actors over a ship/have to tag them in stuff on social media/be disrespectful to them in general just because they may have different views. I'd never throw Jensen away if he said destiel isn't real, of if he got mad at cockles shippers who are too loud, it's his opinion and I respect that. He's a human being ffs, just like we all are, and I don't get all the hate in this Fandom in general.

For Dee, I love her and I respect her just as much, and you wouldn't see one single post from me talking about how much I love her because [insert a destiel-positive thing she did here]. She has a good personality and her character in general is what makes me like her, not her liking Misha.

Though I have to say, since the show ended, the cockles Fandom got a lot more toxic, and I've seen quite a few posts since then that were just utterly disrespectful to Jensen/Daneel or both. It's sad to see how this side of the Fandom slowly but surely gets closer and closer to being like the j2 Fandom, and I've had a lot of thoughts about leaving already. The thing is, I care about those people, it may be parasocial but I can't help it. They helped me through a rough time in my life and all I want for them is to be happy, whatever it is that makes them happy. Even if Jensen would take a step back from misha, I wouldn't throw a tantrum, because if that's what's best for him, then good for him! People should always do what feels right to THEM. (Doesn't mean I have to stop shipping tho, I'm perfectly fine living in my little bubble, knowing that what I do, I do for fun)

Sorry if I was just rambling but I needed to get that out, like I said it's totally okay if you don't wanna posy this, just needed to get it out. Thanks for being here, Grumpy <3

Experience sharing is always welcome here!! 

I don’t think people understand how much a non-shipper appreciates when posts are labeled correctly. I know that sounds so simple and irrelevant but it’s nice to be able to skip things you don’t particularly want to see! 

There are absolutely some amazing people in every end of this fandom and some shippers (like yourself it seems) who just do it for fun and not to try and cause havoc on anyone who disagrees. If you’re not hurting anybody, do your thang! When it gets to the point of toxic behaviors, harassment, and flipping the switch and attacking the actors, wives, etc. just because they disagree with you or don’t push your ship or narrative, that’s when it gets to be a problem. 

You seem to be able to differentiate between fun shipping and theorizing, and the actors and what they feel if that makes sense? It makes sense in my head but on the screen it seems a bit confusing lol. 

It’s so sad to me how many people from all sorts of fandoms get turned off to shows/people/movies and even their friendships within the fandom because of toxicity in the fandoms. A big part of what turned me off to Supernatural was the fandom and the wild stans have made it scary for me to become a fan of anything else. It’s like fandom trauma almost.  My advice for you and anyone in fandoms is to make your own little bubble or corner of the fandom and chill there. Still have friendships with like-minded fans and people who do/like the same parts as you, but stay out of the drama if you can and don’t respond to the toxic stans. It helps a LOT. 

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with caring, parasocial or not. I know people disagree but let people feel things as long as those feelings aren’t harmful. It shouldn’t be shameful to care about people who had an impact in your life just because they’re “famous”. 

I hope venting this helped you! Keep being you, lovely! <3

[rottentigerr]

My feeling about WandaVision's finale ⚠️SPOILERS⚠️

Little disclaimer: I may be wrong on many if not all of this, but they're just my thoughts, my interpretation, let's just agree to disagree

Where to start? I have so many crossed feelings. I went to the finale expecting none of my crazy theories to become true and accepting the director's warning about how it won't be as exciting as what the fans came up with. So I don't really feel disappointed and was able to enjoy and appreciate it. It wasn't perfect, there's still some things I didn't like, but all in all, I loved it.

I'm honestly surprised, because even tho exactly what I didn't want to happen happened, it felt right. I didn't want Vision and the twins to disappear, but the show has clearly been set up for it. Like I said in a post before, it makes sense, I didn't want it to happen, but I could see it was what the show was aiming at. It goes with the feeling of the show. Grieving and moving on.

It's heartbreaking, it hurts. We want to live in a fantasy world were everything is perfect and we never lost anything, only gain. But it's not the truth, at some point we have to accept what happened to us, we can't live in a lie, it'll hurt us and those around us. So yes, even tho it hurts, it's the right thing to do.

And after the heartbreak, I felt hope. Hopw for a new beginning, one were things can be done right, and the fantasies can become real, in healthier way:

After Hex Vision gave White Vision his memories back and he took off, it made me happy. The Ship of Theseus moment was very beautiful, very touching. The whole series I was fearing Hex Vision would die and that'd be it, goodbye Vision forever. It made me so sad just thinking of him being gone, didn't even care if it was the right thing, I wanted him to stay, to have a chance at living, because he deserved it. But this episode made me understand why he'd have to leave. Hex Vision was always Wanda's creation, still Vision but not fully I suppose, half Vision, half Wanda. Obviously I don't love him less for that, but once I embraced that way of thinking, it was easier to let him go, I even feel like he didn't really disappear, just went back inside Wanda, were he belongs, that way he'll always be with her. "We'll say hello again" I truly believe that.

And now, White Vision (who I should really call just Vision, since he is the original Vision, but will call him like that to not mix with Hex Vision), he out there, somewhere. He just got his memories back, he's probably confused and maybe even (probably) remorseful. He'll have to discover who he really is, and that's what I always wanted for Vision, to have more dept and exploration. Maybe right now, he doesn't love Wanda, because he just got back the whole feelings thing, but I can't wait for them to meet again. And saying this hurts me, but even if like in the comics once they meet again things are just not the same, at least they're both alive and well. But I'll keep on hoping they will still be in love.

The last post credits scene let me know the twins will be back, I hadn't really doubt it, I knew even if they disappear they'll be back, I doubt Marvel would just waste the characters like that, specially now that the fans clearly love them. I don't know how, but we'll see them again. Still, their last scene broke my heart.

About Fietro, I don't buy the whole Ralph thing, like many pointed out already, he could be the person under witness protection. And besides, Bhoner is such a ridiculous name, Peter would totally make that joke. In my opinion, Marvel wasting Evan Peters like that would be so stupid and what for even? It can't be a coincidence that they just happen to cast the same actor that played Quicksilver in the X-Men, that doesn't make sense at all. So no, I'm not buying that. Still bothered me thay they delayed it, but they better confirm it on the Dr. Strange 2 movie.

I'm curious about Agatha's future. I know Wanda kept her on Westview, but then she undid the hex, could she keep her controlled for long after she's gone? Will she be back? The "thanks for the lesson" was a nice call back tbh, I'm kinda disappointed she won't teach Wanda like in the comics, but at the end of the episode it really didn't feel right anyways.

Thank god the director got arrested, I wanted him to get his ass beat tho. Can't wait for Monica to explore her new powers. And, is the person the skrull was talking about Nick Fury or someone else?

Also, who was the big cameo Elizabeth Olsen was talking about? That did disappoint me, because it wasn't a fan theory, they said Luke Skywalker level, but let us down on that one.

About the Multiverse: I'm not that bothered about them only hinting at the Multiverse rather than fully introducing it. This is Wanda's story and the begining of her new journey and The Scarlet Witch's origin story. This is also said to be the first part of the Multiverse Trilogy (I think), I do believe they should've done more, give more hints, I understand this is supposed to be about Wanda, not the multiverse.

There's still more to talk about, but I'm ending this here

[freddieofhearts]

Bye bye, dears (for now!)

I know there have been a lot of rumours and some posts about me leaving, so here I am to set the record straight and say a quick ‘au revoir’. This post is long, and I don’t expect everyone to read the whole thing—if you just want information on how to keep in touch, or about access to my removed fics, scroll to the bottom. ⬇️

*

Why are you leaving?

Firstly, of course I’m not leaving Freddie. This is just an ongoing hiatus from the social side of fandom, because while I have some incredible friends here, who have done all they can to support me and have made this experience wonderful in lots of ways—it’s also true that the social space has become more and more toxic for me.

I get a wild amount of hate. Despite never having my ask box enabled on here, people create new accounts just to message me and tell me all the problems in this fandom are my fault, that I’m faking being sick, that I should kill myself, that I’m fat, etc. I also very regularly get hateful comments on AO3.

Obviously I realise that I’m not the only one who receives these cruel attacks, but it’s become increasingly hard to handle them—especially as some people (‘real’ accounts, not faceless anons) do continue to blame me for wider problems in the fandom. It makes me feel consistently sad, anxious, and paranoid, so that I can’t focus on anything Queen-related that I enjoy.

More pressingly, it’s affected my mental health, which is—imperfect at the best of times. As I’ve occasionally alluded to in older posts on this blog, I have a history of anorexia, OCD, PTSD, and some other overlapping issues. Most people who know me in the fandom are also aware that I’m ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’ to Covid-19, significantly immunocompromised, and have been isolating at home for eleven months.

The combination of all of these things + the constant toxic messages has really been triggering me, and leading to an uptick in disordered behaviours, which my body cannot sustain. Every new instance of hate from an anon—every time there’s another indication of groups in the fandom wanting to ostracise me further—my reaction is deeply self-punitive and unhealthy. Ultimately I need to be out of this environment for, at least, a protracted period. My therapist, my partner and my close friends in the fandom support this decision.

*

So, what went wrong?

In 2019, I expected to be an absolutely tiny blog in the Queen Tumblr landscape. The fandom was already well-established, and I have never worked to ‘build a following’ on here—I think I’ve linked my own fic a maximum of three or four times!—in fact, more or less the opposite. As I mentioned above: ya girl is nutty as a fruitcake. As a result, I often avoid extremely niche things in daily life which cause severe anxiety for me, Relevant examples here: I never look at my timeline. I never intentionally look at my follower number. Yup, it’s strange, I fully admit it, but it’s best for me to go with these things—usually. In Queen fandom, however, this avoidance both of analytic stats and of most direct engagement led to some problems... My followers grew without me realising, and way more people were reading my blog than I was aware of. I was still in a—“Wow, this fandom is very frustrating, and rife with ableism, racism, etc., so how do we fix this???”—mindset, and I wanted to share my opinions, sure! but I also thought I was sharing them with 15-20 like-minded people.

Now, intent is not impact, and I recognise that I was brusque, didn’t phrase things particularly sensitively, and absolutely did hurt some people by criticising the fandom so freely. I still regret this—and I regret just as much the fact that some assholes have used my criticising the fandom on my own blog as implicit justification for attacking authors. I have said on here many times that I don’t condone that behaviour—but I also think there’s some truth in the presumption that these anonymous malcontents felt my critiques somehow ‘permitted’ them to engage in abuse. For the first few months, though, I genuinely had no idea there was a link at all—and so I was initially slow to condemn this abusive behaviour in public, because I was taking it for granted all authors agreed it was shitty. It took someone directly telling me (shoutout to @a-froger-epic) that people had identified a connection between my posts and the anons, before everything fell into place.

I would like to offer my apologies to the fandom at large for not being more quick on the uptake about this, because I feel that had I realised sooner that these people were taking ‘inspiration’ in some way from me, it might have been easier to put a stop to it. It does seem that there is still a lot of confusion about whether I support them and which of their views I agree with. Let’s be 100% clear on this: I do not support the anonymous commenters on AO3. At times there is some, limited overlap between parts of their views and parts of mine, but even that is less than you may think—I often see anonymous comments from so-called ‘Freddie fans’ that I substantially disagree with.

Perhaps even more importantly: I do not support anyone who sends anonymous hate on Tumblr.

*

What’s all this about ‘overlap’ with the anons?

Let’s do a mini-summary of the myths vs. the truth. There are views I hold which are genuinely unpopular in the fandom—but which I own up to completely, and have never tried to hide in any way. I’ve never needed to use anonymous to share my opinions because I’m completely open about them! What people who don’t know me tend to have ‘heard’ about me, though, is usually a drastic distortion of my real opinions.

What people think I think:

- Freddie should never top.

- It’s okay to send anon hate if someone writes Freddie ‘wrong’.

- It’s more important to correct ‘wrong’ portrayals than to respect other writers.

- It’s inherently wrong to be more interested in band pairings than canon pairings.

- Freddie should be overtly written as a r*pe survivor/victim (and not doing this is wrong).

- Freddie should be overtly written as having an eating disorder (and not doing this is wrong).

- Kink fics are wrong.

What I actually think:

- I believe Freddie did have a strongly defined sexual identity with marked preferences, but I don’t think Jim Hutton lied when he said that Freddie topped. I believe Freddie did top, but this isn’t the time or place to get into my thoughts on why/when/how much. I do believe that my analysis of the sources relevant to this subject is as historically accurate as one can reasonably be in matters of sex (where historical accuracy will always be particularly limited and imperfect)—but I don’t think it’s morally wrong to write Freddie as topping more than he probably did.

- I don’t believe there’s only one ‘right’ version of Freddie (all others being ‘wrong’). I do believe it is possible to be more right or less right—but I’m also conscious of the fact that this scale of value is not one by which everyone measures fanfiction. As a result, then, I don’t think that any perceptions surrounding ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ justify sending anonymous, non-constructive criticism, or outright hate.

- I do believe constructive criticism is a good thing. I welcome and appreciate it myself; I have received it on my fics in Queen fandom, and it has made them better. I have been in writing workshops which included very forceful criticisms, and the value of such feedback has been intimately and immediately part of my life as a writer for years. However: in this case, I have accepted that my opinion differs from the general community preference, and so I no longer offer any constructive criticism (outside private beta-reading). I haven’t changed my view, but I’ve changed my practice to align with community norms.

- I do not think any single, individual writer has a personal responsibility to write about Freddie Mercury in any given way. That ranges from including the more distressing topics to which I’ve devoted attention (such as trauma)—to concentrating on ‘canon’ pairings like Jimercury—to, even, focusing on Freddie at all.

“Now, that doesn’t sound like you, @freddieofhearts,” you might be thinking. And I know it doesn’t; I think something I’ve done a poor job of articulating is the difference between how I view each individual fan—namely, as free to shape their creative experience at will, even in ways that I might find distressing or offensive; even in ways that you might find distressing or offensive—and the way I view the Collective. I think people have interpreted some of my critiques of ‘Queen Fandom’ as meaning something like: “You-in-particular, a specific Queen fan, are doing it wrong and should change everything about how you do it; also you don’t really care about Freddie.”

And—that’s not it. What any given fan, as an individual, does, isn’t a problem. And that can be true alongside—concurrently with—a multivalent critique of how the fandom is lacking in representation of Freddie’s life, with all that that (wonderful, deservedly celebrated, but also profoundly traumatic) life entailed. I still hold that view; I still have myriad problems with ‘the fandom’ (structurally, collectively, historically and presently—from the 1990s to the 2020s). Some of what I want to work on (away from the social life of fandom) is expressing those critiques with greater nuance, in ways that can’t be misinterpreted as shading any particular fanfiction author or subgenre of story.

In brief: I haven’t changed my mind, but I think Tumblr is an untenable environment in which to discuss the things I want to analyse, especially as there is an ever-present danger of hurting someone.

*

Can we keep in touch? Where is the fic?

I will drop by this account periodically to check out posts that friends have sent me, so you can always sent me a private message to ask for my contact details on the other app that I’m using now for fandom friends. Multiple Freddie conversations and projects are going on over there, off-Tumblr, with a much ‘gentler’ environment and no bad actors—I personally love it!

All my fic has been downloaded and saved. I don’t want to deal with constant harassment on AO3, but I’m happy to share a copy with anyone who missed it and wants to read/re-read something. I also saved everyone’s lovely comments and thoughtful con-crit, so none of that has been lost or erased.

Thank you to everyone who welcomed me to the fandom, made me think, taught me, shared with me, sent me into fits of the giggles, collaborated with me creatively, and otherwise made this one hell of a ride! Love you all. ❤️

[king-paimon]

HnK Chapter 91 thoughts/opinions: Jade’s a good gem and you can’t change my mind

Man...what a chapter. And it came early! Definitely a nice surprise I needed. And we all, myself include, owe Jade an apology. I think the majority of us expected Jade to go down in just one page but NOPE. He actually held his own pretty dang well and caused a lot of damage, and without a weapon, too! Even though he knew he wasn’t going to win, he still fought hard and even though this chapter was short, it was amazing. This fight was so intense and brutal; a lot more so than Bort vs. Dia to be honest. I like the parallels in this chapter, with Jade’s gut punch being similar to when he had to do the same back in chapter 39 when Phos was having his mental breakdown. The main differences, of course, being the circumstances. My, how these characters have changed so much.

(This got a pretty long. Sorry in advance. May edit later. Also, I give my opinion on certain things near the end so I wanted to give an additional heads up. I hope I don’t upset anyone. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and view of the characters and even if we don’t agree, I believe all opinions are valid.)

I knew that I was going to like and be saddened by this chapter but it was honestly a treat. But do you know what made it better? Because Ms. Haruko Ichikawa showed us all how Jade was one of the better gems.

I repeat: Jade was one of the better gems

I said it a few times before in previous posts that Jade was one of my favorite gems. Not only because I thought his personality was entertaining but because  out of all of the Earth gems, as far as I saw, Jade was one of the ones that did the least bad to Phos. Even before his drastic change, I don’t remember too many instances were Jade actively put Phos down. When Phos got his new legs and didn’t remember Jade, I remember how devastated he was, even if it was just for comedy. Or when Jade had to shatter Phos during his mental breakdown, as mentioned above, Jade felt so guilty that he had to do that. So from my point of view, when it came interactions between Phos and Jade, they seemed very genuine and I believe Jade was one of the few gems that showed they cared about Phos, both before and after he started his transformation. And this chapter further cements how Jade was one of the better gems, from both the Earth and Moon factions, because he did one thing that none of the other gems at this point of the story ever did for Phos ever since they’ve gone to this point: Apologized.

Jade, so far, was the only one who truly apologized to Phos. Euclase never did that. Yes, Euclase was the one who tried to speak with Phos but he didn’t put much effort to do that or do anything of help to Phos. And even when he was at Phos’ mercy in the previous chapter, Euclase never attempted verbally acknowledge how he affected Phos. Jade, on the other hand, DID. 

Instead of damning Phos with his remaining strength, he recognized how his actions ultimately contributed to Phos’s current state and gave an honest and truthful apology for not understanding Phos. And I think that was one of the things that Phos, as well as many of us readers, wanted deep down. And maybe it’s just me, but from Phos’s expression on that page as Jade crumbled, I think those words got to him...even though Phos quickly dismissed it in the next page. But still, Jade did something that none of the other gems have done for Phos: actually said he was sorry for not trying harder to understand Phos.

Would it have been better if this was said long ago? Absolutely.  Does this excuse Jade’s, as well as the other Earth gem’s past behavior? No. Did Phos have to accept Jade’s apology? Of course not. But you know what? In my opinion, I still liked the fact that at least one of the gems recognize how badly they treated Phos, even it’s at the very end, and better late than never. It would’ve been better if the other gems did something like this but you take what you can get. And though it’s a shame that Phos ends up brushing Jade’s words off in the end, I can’t blame him. Also, on that note, DANG, some of you fans are so cut throat and dismissed Jade, too. I do get it though; Jade, along with the other Earth gems, left Phos for over 200 years, so I understand why some fans quickly dismiss his apology. And as mentioned above, it still doesn’t excuse what happened before. In my opinion though, considering everything that had happened before that incident, from the Earth gems’ point of view of Phos’s morally questionable actions, I can’t fully fault them for doing it. (I understand if you don’t agree with me.) And again, at least Jade still did something that the other gems never did. It may have been a small gesture that wouldn’t have changed Phos or the trajectory of the story, but the fact that Jade still said it and meant it speaks volumes, more so than anything Euclase or any of the Earth or Moon gems ever said to Phos in these recent chapters. For these reasons, those last pages were so heartbreaking in so many ways.

Also, I like the fact that Jade is connected to the heart chakra and represents acceptance and loving in Buddhism, which is very fitting to me. 

(Opinionated mini rant here. Sorry that it isn’t coherent.)

So, yeah. Jade is great. A definite contender for being one of the best Earth gems when it comes to his relations to Phos. Heck, he’s even better than most of the Moon gems combined. Come at me. You know I’m right. Did the other Moon gems ever acknowledge how they contributed to Phos’s fall and show any remorse?? Better yet, did they ever honestly apologize for being shitty to Phos when he actually needed their support? No. They didn’t. 

Dia never apologized for not helping Phos when he really needed it, or when Phos tried to be open with them and the other Moon gems after the first invasion plan failed; Dia just f-ed off and ignored him, and only went on this crusade when Phos threatened that he’d bring Bort. Alex showed very little remorse, too. Same with Benito, Ame, and Goshe; they were all having fun, doing their own thing when Phos was clearly needing some kind of support. Heck, I still remember the page when Phos was literally pouring his heart out and the other gems just go “Oh look! Goshe and Cairn’s on the TV. They look like they’re having fun!” Wow... okay guys. Thanks. Speaking of which, Cairn surely never apologized and probably never will at this point. I don’t know what to expect from this character anymore. I don’t hate them; I’m just disappointed. 

I’m giving Yellow leeway cuz he’s in therapy and never got the chance to see Phos, which is probably for the best. Padparadscha also gets a pass. I think those two are the only Moon gems who actually show remorse for Phos’ misery, even though they never verbally say it. The rest of Moon gems? Nothing. Yeah, Phos told them to not recover him if his third visit failed but those gems didn’t show any concern for Phos’s well being when he left nor when he came back with his murderous mindset. Of course the Earth gems showed little remorse too. Euclase recognized how his actions affected Phos but did nothing in the very end to show true remorse. Only Jade did. So Jade gets extra brownie points for being the only decent gem to verbally acknowledging that he didn’t do right by Phos and apologize.

(Sorry about that. I do get annoyed when people praise the Moon gems and hate the Earth gems when really, they weren’t too different when it came to how they treated Phos. One group may have shattered Phos, but both contributed to his fall. But again, everyone is entitled to feel how they feel about these characters and though I disagree with fans who view the gems this way, I don’t blame them for viewing them this way. All views are valid. I’ll most likely change a few things here later. Maybe.)

Next chapter woes

Anyways, now we wait for the next chapter which...oooh, it’ll be a doozy. As always, I’m excited and scared because this story can go in so many directs but that last sentence on the last page... OH BOY.  So many things are at stake. And the likeliness of Cinnabar becoming the 7th treasure continues to rise. Stay strong, Shinsha-stans. 

What’ll happen? Only Ms. Ichikawa knows, that clever, sadistic monster.  We’ll sadly have to wait very patiently and see. But I think we all know that whatever happens next is going to hurt so good.

And to add more sadness to the mix, from what I’m seeing in the tags, it looks like more and more people are starting to think the same thing as me about our dear, dear broken protagonist. 

Phos’s happy ending, whatever that may entail, is getting less and less likely to happen. And we all know it’ll be because of Aechmea somehow. And that continues to be the saddest truth of this story.

[ahardisons]

Ah yes I see and like your interpretation of Hardison’s overcompensation too (mine may have too much projection lol). I don’t know if I agree that the show “did Hardison dirty” but I also don’t know if that’s an Internet phrase that has a special meaning I don’t know!

I guess most of his backstory was focused on his Nana and the foster system but I wish we had a Significant Person from his post show up like for the others. (But hey! Breanna may help with more backstory and such in the revival!!)

I think I really just disagreed with the implication that those two episodes were bad characterization for him/didn’t fit his characterization because I liked how they extended (the ice man job more so than the gold digger job though, I think the gold digger job would have been better if it was pulled back a season or two). But re-reading your post/tags I’m not sure you actually said the episodes were bad characterizations and I may just be reading too much into it!

(As to Nate (disclaimer that I actually like him to a degree just not as much as the others but I don’t hate him as much as some) I think he kinda does that with the whole team but only with their skill set. The problem is he’s mentally defined Hardison’s skill set as “everything” which while complimentary would also be very stressful for him)

(Also about Parker tipping: I know right!! She was so separated from “normal” for so long that I can see her just not realizing things like this. Sort of like how in that one episode she seemed so surprised and sad that the man’s debt was from oncology (and then deleted it). She has all the compassion but not all the knowledge needed to apply it)

TBH a part of fan analyses is projection bc it colors each of our perceptions a little bit differently! this is why i love discourse bc as much as i love to defend my opinion, it’s just that: an opinion. and i also find that putting myself in someone else’s shoes is a great way of either confirming or editing my own thoughts so thank you for sharing your thoughts tbh

I AM ALSO HOPING FOR BREANNA TO FILL IN A LITTLE MORE ABT HARDISON but i also don’t want her to fall into the trap of being a tool to fill in hardison’s story line, you feel me? like i don’t want her AND hardison to both have the pitfall of having undeveloped backgrounds lmao

and i may have said bad characterizations i think? tbh i should read through those again and edit for clarity but anyway rather, i think it’s more apt to say inconsistent characterizations rather than Bad. bc hardison is still, for the most part, hardison. there’s just inconsistencies (in my eyes at least) that don’t make sense since they’re characteristics that seem to only show up in those episodes! i think i need to sit down and force myself through those episodes a few more times to really put my thoughts into words BUT YEAH - not necessarily bad, just very inconsistent and Weird to me.

YOUR PARKER COMMENTS KILL ME I LOVE IT SO MUCH ITS SO SO SO TRUE, like she was under socialized as a child bc of what her past in the system and what archie did to her and if you’re raised up AS a thief, there’s not a lot of time to teach morals or compassion in a morally dubious field like thievery. like she didn’t really even know WHY she was stealing only that it gained her money and it was fun to solve problems. it’s just like sophie realizing that stealing art still had a seedy underground that got people hurt despite it not being like eliot’s job where he was doing the hurting you know? once they both looked past the immediate gratification of the Self they realized that they could do something to help others.

[sid471]

Fate: Winx the Saga from someone who didn’t watch Winx Club

My friend made an actually GOOD post about this as someone who IS just a massive dork about Winx Club. So for a fans perspective here ya go :3 https://alric-usami.tumblr.com/post/641430679160340480/in-defense-of-fate-the-winx-saga show’im some love :3 Also unlike my friend this isn’t spoiler free. So, if you haven’t seen Fate and wanna give it a shot don’t read under the cut and if you didn’t watch Fate and you read it anyway... don’t get mad at me <_<

Now, if you’re still here, you’ve decided you don’t care about spoilers, you’ve seen the show, or haven’t seen the show and you’re stubborn <_<. Regardless, time for an opinion that doesn’t matter 😊. 

I watched all 6 episodes and gotta say that I... Actually really enjoyed it :3. I understand the complaints, the lack of diversity... kinda sucks. It’s 2021 c’mon now >_> but everything else I liked watching 😗 Though I DO wish Bloom being a Changeling was revealed later. Rather than... ya know.... the first episode. That being said, DID really like when she called her mom and dad the second time. It was a sweet moment ☺️. I’ll get more into that later :3

Now, let’s get into the nitty gritty shall we? :3

I didn’t have any expectations going in. I hadn’t seen Winx and all I knew about it, even as I write this, I got from the above mentioned friend. I knew nothing is my point lol. So, looking at it as a show rather than an adaptation, I REALLY enjoyed it. It had nice visuals, acting was solid all round, music was a little cliche at times but I still liked it 😗

SO as previously mentioned, Bloom is a changeling. And also like I said I wish that revelation had been made a little later, but I also like how the season went over all so... Hmm... Conflicted. Bloom’s turmoil after finding out the truth, I thought, was handled very well. I’m sure some people would say she like... was bitchy and closed off. Which she was 🤷🏻‍♂️ But fuckin... She’s 16 .-. Of course she’s gonna lash out >_> And also even if she WASN’T 16... She’s still finding out the people who raised her aren’t really her parents ._. Anyway, speaking of her parents, we don’t know her parents well, but I still liked them ^_^ They had a pretty good amount of sweet moments with Bloom. Like the aforementioned 2nd call scene. The one where she went back to her house and watched them? It was a very sweet talk and I loved it 🙂. Verdict: Bloom, and her parents, good 😗 :3

 Aisha, loved her and how her friendship with Bloom went ^_^. They had their rough spots, but at the end of the day they were still by each other’s side. And that’s what friendship’s about :3 Having their back even when you disagree with them 🙂 And even WHEN Bloom was being standoffish and secretive, Aisha made the effort to say “Hey. You can talk to me about anything. You know that right?” And you can tell it’s heartfelt and just ;-; ya know? :3 Though, admittedly, was a little iffy when she snitched to Farah but it worked out 😗. ALSO! Her protecting Bloom while she transformed? First of all, amazing sequence 😁 Second of all, that scene showed that even if Bloom is being reckless and, well, a main character lol, Aisha will have her back. And if you don’t have a best friend who’ll support you even when you’re acting like a Fantasy Main Character, what’s the point >_> Also side note, I LOVED that transformation sequence so much? I really like how they did it. I like that it didn’t... well... feel like a cartoon. Because like this ISN’T a cartoon. An over the top transformation LIKE an animation woulda been outta place and weird .-. Anyway, Verdict: We stan Aisha here :3

Terra. Oh Terra I just... Adore her ☺️ she’s so so so cute and sweet ^_^ She doesn’t deserve how Dane treated her >_> I’ll get to Dane in a little bit. But yeah Terra is just adorable. How can you NOT like her? She’s an adorable bad ass. Who doesn’t love an adorable bad ass :3 Verdict: Terra gets a million hugs from me :3

Stella. I’m not gonna lie, I was fully ready for Stella to be a stereotypical mean girl and was disappointed when it looked like that was the route they were going. But then they gave Stella ✨depth✨. Which we love to see ^_^. Stella surprised me with how much I ended up liking her. Stella was taught that negative emotions are all that matter in magic, which obviously isn’t true, but her mother is an arrogant bitch who only sees power >_> When Stella was telling Musa the story of how she blinded Ricki, she said that it was an accident and she didn’t mean to, but her mother thought it was better for her if everyone thought it was on purpose. Because “At least if it was on purpose, I wasn’t weak.”. So Queen Luna sucks <_< Which I know isn’t the case in the cartoon but in this she does. I actually like that they SHOWED that kind of strained relationship.

I saw it as kind of a foil to Bloom’s relationship with HER mother. Bloom and her mom had a somewhat negative relationship too, because Bloom wanted to stay inside and was pretty reclusive, mood, which her mom didn’t like so she tried to force her to go out. But the difference between Vanessa and Luna is that Vanessa DOES care about Bloom and listened to her. Luna, even when Stella TRIED to tell her a feat she considered great, blinding the Burned One, which IS great and awesome ^_^ But the Queen still wasn’t impressed. Verdict: Stella had a rocky start, but I love her now :3.... And Queen Luna... Not so much >_> She’s a bitch and not even like... a fun bitch <_< Although the revelation that because Luna and Stella are both Light fairies they can “control what people see” was not something I considered and it was REALLY cool.

Musa! I... Kinda resonated with Musa a lot actually. I may not have empathic powers that let me feel people’s emotions, but I know what she went through with her mom. My mom is still alive, thankfully, but she could’ve died from a stroke had I not acted. It was 2 years ago now, but I still think about what could’ve happened. And it’s noooot fun >_>. Anyway, back to Musa. Musa being an empath is something I really enjoyed. Honestly, I think I’d prefer empath!Musa over sound!Musa even if the latter is closer to canon. I just think Musa is an awesome character ^_^. I also loved how she steeled herself and helped Sam with the Burned One infection. That was honestly beautifully done. She may not be the most useful in a fight, but you don’t have to fight to be a bad bitch that’s what I say 😙. Verdict: Musa is a kin character :3

Beatrix. This bitch.... I adore her she’s so FUCKING cool! I love a good villain, if you’ve stumbled across my page before you know that lol, and Beatrix ticks everything I need to be character to add to my stan list. Watching her do her thing is like... It’s art ._. She fuckin EXPERTLY goes from Farah fangirl, to diligent student, to Riven’s girl, to ruthless villain and I LOVE that! I love a villain who’s both strong and smart :3 Especially if they’re female because I like bad bitches doing bad bitch things ^_^ Verdict, if it wasn’t clear: LOVE her. Amazing. Onto the Stan List she goes :3

Dane. *sigh* Dane... Is a character I have complicated feelings for >_>. I liked him a lot at first. I liked him and Terra’s friendship they were adorable :3 But then uh... Then Riven fucked him up <_< Listen man I agree Riven is hot but he ain’t worth hurting the first friend you ever made <_> Although a Riven, Dane, Beatrix throuple situation...... Is something I could get behind 👀. Because Dane likes both Riven and Beatrix, Riven likes Beatrix, and Beatrix... Is blatantly just using them but hey better to have 2 boyfriends who’ll do whatever you want than none 😊 Verdict: ... I liked him at first, thought him and Terra would be dorky friends, but then uh.... no >_> Terra deserves better <_<

Riven. Hate’im. Hate’im, hate’im, hate’im 🙄. He may be friends with the bi Dane but he REEKS... of homophobic jock energy. Of “I’m cool if you’re gay man just don’t hit on me dude.” vibes >_> Which like... I know seems ironic considering he literally flirted with Dane. But like... I dunno he just has so much homophobic energy it just... cancels out 😶. “But you JUST said you’d be okay with a Dane, Riven, Beatrix throuple” I did. And I still stand by that. But Riven would need some work before that <_< Like... an arc of him coming to terms with himself having feelings for both Dane AND Beatrix. y’know like that. I think it’d be cool. :3 Verdict: Riven sucks, but has a little bit 🤏 of potential. Also, all that being said, I don’t think Riven is REALLY a bad dude. I just think..... He wants Beatrix’s puss a little too much <_<

Sky. Sky... Is... Fine. He’s a fine character. I didn’t really feel a LOT for him. I just thought of him as Bloom’s love interest and like that’s it. Don’t get me wrong, he had some sad moments and I felt for him in those moments. But overall... Sky was just... fine. Verdict: He’s okay. I don’t really have a lotta feelings about him though.

Headmistress Farah Dowling. PHEW my feelings toward Farah... were a bit of a rollercoaster. I liked her, then I didn’t, then I was suspicious of her, then I liked her again, then she got her neck snapped.... soooo. But, that being said, I DO like Farah and I hope that she’s alive somehow in Season 2 :3. I like the variety in her powers. She has water, electricity, mind, maybe even fire, we love the variety ^_^ I was gonna say diversity but that’s kind of a sensitive word here. Verdict: Farah is an old baddie. And we love to see it 😗

Headmaster Silva. He... gives me Atlesian vibes >_>... I know fans of winx won’t know what I’m talking about, unless ya also watch RWBY. But with how he kept saying to Sky like “when you’re given orders you follow them without question.”, little hypocritical huh buddy, rubbed me the wrong way <_< Especially BECAUSE, yeah, it’s a little hypocritical when he didn’t follow his orders from Rosalind. Which I would also defy her orders, but then when YOU defy orders for the greater good, don’t then spread “Follow orders no matter what >_>”. Which, okay before you say it, I KNOW that he defied orders for the sake of saving the, seemingly innocent, people of Aster Dell, and they still died. But still... Spreading the follow orders no matter what thing is just kinda... an over correction, in my opinion at least. Verdict: Silva is... Okay. I like him... enough ya know? I like’im enough to hope he comes back to Alfea.

Rosalind. Rosalind... Is a villain with a lotta potential. I like her a lot so far. She’s obviously very powerful, and she seems... to wanna help Bloom? I mean for her own selfish gain of obtaining the Dragon Fire but still... A villain who partially wants to HELP the hero, is kinda interesting 😗 Also, I like how ruthless she can be. I knew she manipulative like straight from the memory that Bloom had. I immediately was like “I don’t trust this old lady >_>” But her levitating Farah and SNAPPING her neck... Oof. Chills. Verdict: I look forward to seeing where she goes :3

Final Conclusion: Fate: Winx the Saga, purely as a show, is very good in my opinion. whether you’ve watched Winx Club or not, I suggest giving it a try and going in with an opened mind. You may even find a new favorite show :3... Okay that may be pushing it lol. But it’s very good if you like fantasy, magic, and bad ass female characters 😗

[gamelpar]

well shit had gone down even more

so by the recent updates on the situation that i read on reddit, more people have come out with their experience with ryan haywood. (these are my own opinions and thoughts on the situation, you are allowed to disagree with me, just respect that we all have different views, thoughts and opinions on all this, and that one opinion is not more wrong than another)

I’m not going to analyze every small detail or weigh the blame, but I still stand by that everyone involved chose to make the choices they made. both ryan and the girls could’ve done differently, they could’ve chosen differently. the girls were in a vulnerable place but that doesn’t diminish the fact that they knew he was married and had kids. it doesn’t diminish the fact that they were consensual with what were happening between him and them, or that they themselves did some wrongs too. and being only 17 means that you’re still old enough to understand and know what you’re doing and make your own decisions. ryan didn’t have any power over the girls and their decisions. the girls made their decisions on their own. the girls had power over themselves and made their decisions. However, whatever happened between them and ryan that wasn’t with their consent, they are not to blame for. But they’re not innocent in this, neither is ryan, 

and ryan is no different.  he’s 40 years old and that means that he is also old enough to understand and know what they’re doing and make his own decisions. ryan was married, had kids, had a job and was seen as a celebrity and a future image by many people. he knew that, and he still chose to do what he did. And what he did, he didn’t do by mistake, no, he chose to do. to take advantage of someone is a choice you make. cheating isn’t a mistake, it’s a choice. the choice to cheat can be seen as a mistake. ryan chose to cheat and that choice he made is a grave mistake that is going to be with him forever. and whatever he did together with the girls that was without their consent, that is all on him, not the girls. he had a whole lot to lose, and the fact that the girls knew what he had to lose and would lose if the truth ever came out from them, in a sense, it made the girls fell into silence about the whole thing. even if you’re a celebrity you’re not immune to reveal of your true colors.

And the choices that ryan made settles the fact that if he’s done it once, he can do it again. you don’t know what you’re capable of until you’ve actually done it, and ryan, and the girls, is capable of doing the same choices and decisions again. that is something that won’t ever disappear, and it’ll stick with them forever. 

Ryan and the girls aren’t the victims. all of them made their wrongs. they made their choices, and the choices they made was mistakes that will never leave them. they can try to fix things, but this will forever be with them. the victims are the people that was hurt by this, and everyone, including ryan and the girls, will need the time it takes to recover from this, to get used to that what happened happen, and there’s nothing to do about it except taking the time they need to come to terms with it.

everyone has already suffered enough, and taking revenge on ryan or anyone else is just. fucking don’t. his coworkers and his family has already suffered enough. don’t be an ass and make it worse. you’re are allowed to be angry or sad, feel whatever emotion you feel, but revenge wont fix a shit, only result in hurting more people.

our mistake is putting too much faith in celebrities. they’re just as human as anyone, and they make bad choices and mistakes just like the rest of us. the only difference is that the celebrites have a lot of more people watching them, everyone knows who they are and the whole world will know the things they did and have their opinions about them.

we all need our time to deal with the shitstorm that seems to get worse by every day, and we’re allowed to take the time we need to.

i wont delete any posts ive made and reblogged about ryan, because 1. that a whole ton of posts, and 2. i made and reblogged all those posts when i cherished him for making me laugh and for being a seemingly good person in this world, and while his true colors was eventually shown and the good turned bad, it doesn’t exclude the fact that it was a good time and a good part to have known and letting have a place in my life. if i ever post or reblog posts of him that is before all this it will be a time until that happens, but i’ll still occasionally post and reblog about achievement hunter and its other members.

achievement hunter is still achievement hunter. ryan was just a member of it---a core member, yes---but he’s still just one member of several others. achievement hunter is so much more than that, and you’re allowed to still watch videos with him and laugh at him, and make fanfics and fanart or whatever with him in. you’re still allowed to cherish him as the person he was in videos and as who you thought he was. you’re still allowed to cherish his characters. just because it’s the end of ryan haywood’s time in achievement hunter, it doesn’t have to be the same for the vagabond and the mad king and any else of ryan’s characters. we have expanded on them so much that while the characters still may carry the same name and have similar traits and personalities, they’re still a whole another character and person, separate from the one they originated from, the real ryan haywood and who he is. I will though admit that it is hard for me, and several other people to fully separate the characters from the real man, especially considering that there never was a clear and straight line between what was character and what was the real person. Maybe after gotten to terms with all this after some much-needed time, i will be able to separate the characters and feel joy once again in reading fanfics about them and see fanarts of them, without thinking that what the real ryan haywood did goes the same for or is relevant to his characters, nor doesn’t define his characters to be capable of doing the same actions.

I don’t wish that what ryan did was never exposed just to not feel what i feel or feel the need to write this, because this whole thing has been horrible for me as it has for many others. I wish it had never happen, because ryan crossed the point of no return the moment he crossed the line of friendly conversation turning more intimate, especially with fans. even if it hadn’t been as serious as it is, like, just some one time thing that didn’t get too intimate, the damage would have already been done.

but wishes won’t change what have happened, and i’m just gonna have to get used to the changes, and move forward when i can and when i am ready to.

i’m not that much informed on what exactly adam kovic did, but it seems that whatever he did was wrong too, but i never was much into funhaus so i leave posts like this about him to others.

things will never be the same again, and that is something that me and everyone else will have to come to terms with.

but it doesn’t mean things won’t ever be good again.

[musette22]

Hi guys, 

I have been away for a few days visiting family, but I am now back and I just want to say a couple of things that I feel I need to say. What I said in a previous post about my anxiety and mental health still stands, but I also recognise that whatever I'm feeling doesn't even come close to measuring up to the sadness and fear and anger that many of you who have encountered racism first hand are experiencing right now. So while I'm still not going to answer individual asks about this – for the reasons I gave previously and because I don't want to take the focus away too much from where it ought to be – I do want to make my position clear here. This blog is for a large part about Sebastian and will continue to be about him for the foreseeable future, so what has happened should be addressed here, and my POC followers deserve to know that I support you without reservation and that this is still a safe space for you and always will be.

I want to make it very clear that Sebastian does not in any way factor into my thoughts and feelings about the Black Lives Matter movement. I condemn any and all forms of racism and I stand with the BLM movement fully and unconditionally. This has to end, and we have to do our best to make the changes the world needs, together. We should all speak up and stand up for what is right, and supporting marginalised and oppressed communities should always take precedence over any attachment or allegiance we might feel towards privileged (and in this case white, male) celebrities – that goes without saying. Also, I am not by any means an expert on any of these issues, and I am not American nor POC, so I won't pretend to have all the insights and answers. I can only tell you some of my thoughts on Sebastian’s actions in this regard, and hope that that means something to some of you.

·        Yes, I believe Sebastian could and should've handled this situation differently and better, regardless of what reasons he may have had for handling it the way he did. His actions have left me disappointed and confused too, and as much as I love him (I really do!) this is not his finest hour. He’s a grown man who’s responsible for his own behaviour, the good and the bad, and I’m not going to defend his behaviour in this case, because I believe it to be lacking. It’s not okay to blindly defend your faves’ actions just because you love them. It’s good to be critical and hold the people you love accountable when they do stuff that doesn’t pass muster.

·        Yes, people have every right to be upset, disappointed or even angry, and, in the case of his fans, to unstan if they are feeling any of those things. I am in no position to tell other people how to feel about this, so I’m not going to. The BLM movement and the overarching issues of racism and inequality in the US and elsewhere are much, much bigger than any one individual, and infinitely more important than any part of celebrity culture. Moreover, I am a firm believer in putting our mental health first. If you can’t support Sebastian after what’s happened because you feel hurt or anxious or otherwise negatively impacted, then it’s perfectly acceptable and even preferable to step away. We cannot make the changes the world needs if we don’t take care of our own mental health first.

·        No, I do not believe hate or harassment (whether against Sebastian or against other people who have joined in this discourse in whatever way) is the answer. I think some of you will know that that’s one of the beliefs by which I live and approach any situation, not just this one. I am an advocate of communication, of learning and growing, wherever possible. Of course, sometimes communication just isn’t enough, but I believe it often can be when it comes to people making singular mistakes, like in Sebastian’s case. Voicing disappointment in fandom/standom too often equals cancellation, which I frankly find short-sighted and kind of lazy. We should be allowed to be disappointed in someone without it meaning we no longer love them, and normalise that notion. Celebrities are still humans, and as such they will make mistakes, through which they will hopefully learn and grow, just like the rest of us. At this point in time, I believe Sebastian to be a good person who did a stupid thing, so I personally am not going write him off right now because of what happened over the past week, but I do sincerely hope he’ll do better in the future.

·        I do think the preoccupation with whether or not a celeb posts something on their social media is missing the point. This is not about celebrities. It’s about black people being killed by police in a system that seemingly places no value on the lives of its black citizens; it’s about structural inequality and racism being rampant in the US and many other places in the world, and about how we can change that. This is what the focus should be on, not on who's posting what on social media when. Again, feeling disappointed, mad, and upset with Sebastian is okay and fair, and you every right to voice that if that’s how you feel, but I also think we have to remember to focus our time, energy, and activism where it matters, and that there are other ways to help the cause besides posting about it on social media, which unfortunately seems to be performative to a large extent anyway. But I do believe that for someone with a significant social media following like Sebastian does, it’s important to show solidarity with those who might be impacted by everything that’s happening, and make it clear you are on their side. 

Long story short: regardless of what reasons Seb may have had for not publicly showing his support for the BLM movement sooner, I still think he made the wrong decision in this case and he should absolutely step up his game in the future. It’s not okay that it took him so long to speak up about what’s been going on and I fully understand people’s aggravation over it. But while some mistakes are certainly worse than others, generally speaking making mistakes doesn’t necessarily make us bad people. Unless, of course, we don’t learn from them, but Sebastian also isn’t some serial offender. He’s shown himself to be a decent person time and time again, and that’s why I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt and allow him the opportunity to learn from this particular mistake and show that he can do better. I know some of you will disagree with me and that’s fine. This is not the absolute truth, just my opinion, and I realise I am also still learning.

[lehhoh7822]

I was going to do some more Sides appreciation, but then I got distracted and started looking at u!sides pages and now I feel like shite so I’ll just talk about Virgil for now. I’ll do the appreciation posts later.

Well. I mean. See above. Rant/actual discussion below the cut.

Everyone loves the villain. That was why people fell in love with Virgil from the start of S1. 

All of the characters were liked, they were all loveable, but Virgil was very popular because he was sassy, snarky, and a bit of an enigma.

Then of course, you had the people who never liked Virgil. Who recognised him as bad* from the start and took a dislike to him. That’s alright. 

People make more content (generally, unless they’re, say, unnecessarily anxious about people judging them because admitting they liked or making content of x character) about characters they like or popular characters. 

And then here’s the thing. We have this thing called character development. Which makes sense. Virgil may be a portrayal of anxiety, but overall, I think it’s best for everyone if they think of Virgil as a character first.

If you think of Virgil as anxiety first you open up the can of worms with how anxiety should be portrayed, how anxiety should be experienced- and that doesn’t go anywhere good unless you want to start trying rewire bits of your ideals.

So as a character Virgil is interesting. 

Firstly, we get to see the character arc from S1. Which I feel like you understand by now. You see the trust and etc forming. You get a nice moment. 

Then shit hits the fan pretty damn fast.

You have the fact that Virgil is mean. And Virgil is also a dork. Just to dramatically oversimplify it. And please, people, can you read my long post about one of the issues with SaSi? Please? 

Here’s the thing though. You can’t have Virgil be nice. Or else you would get people coming with the “He’s not being anxiety” or “He’s being a suck-up” or just anything we can think of. But if he’s mean, if he’s says cruel shit then... just go look at Virgil negativity or u!Virgil. Because, right now, in canon, he is a bit of a dick. But he isn’t completely cruel or manipulative. At least not from my perspective. He’s just mean and a bit of a dick. And someone should call him out. But- 

But then we have the issue of “Canon only focuses on Virgil” thing that people hate. People would jump on it and say that canon was focusing on Virgil again when it should focus on x character. And I think, I think personally that Thomas wanted to make Virgil less of a focus. But in order to do that he had to try to maintain a level of continuity with him in order for the content to seem like it makes sense. And the way they chose to do that was to try to maintain the growth him had in S1 and to factor in a bit of casual cruelty so it would seem like he was still fufilling his role as anxiety.

But I really don’t think they did it well.

Thomas and Joan stated that once anxiety’s acceptance arc was done they had plans for the future, new sides to introduce, etc. 

They didn’t, unlike some posts claim, mean to continue making Virgil the main character (as far as I can tell), they wanted to on on from it. All of it.

So after his arc, canon was supposed to take a new route, a new path. 

So why does it seem like it didn’t? 

I think- I think I might have the answer. 

It’s us. We fell in love with a character, and we continued to make fics and animatics and art works about said character, because he was really well-written in most of the fandom’s eyes. 

Canon might have stuff to do with Virgil, but, again, in my useless opinion, that’s only because they’re trying to ensure continuity. They also know that people still do like Virgil and try to use him as a safe-guard (that’s how I’m explaining his grand reveal in DWIT) against losing more fans, considering how many they’ve already lost to the mcyt (Nothing against those guys, or anyone who’s packed up and left) and other fandoms with the wait period and all.

But- This isn’t working. 

Because Virgil fans continue to make content with him and it’s so easy to write angst or hurt-comfort with him. And then, this content amasses with the content made previously for Virgil. And then people see it and say that.. anything about the content instead of the character on the u!Virgil or virgil negativity page. 

And then we also make content that demonises medication (Wow fandom, I’m so proud of you. You’re so mature.) which is just fucking great.

And then we also make stuff that makes Virgil a soft uwu boi and people who disagree with that go (look, can you guys tell that I feel sad from going through so much u!sides shit and I know I can back out at any time, but my wish to understand is more powerful- so, now I want you guys to feel crummy with me and that’s why I keep telling you to look at it.) literally a lot of posts on the u!Virgil page. 

And then when people react poorly to either content (if you react poorly to the soft content then you will lose a lot of followers and if you react poorly to the u! content then you’re a toxic Virgil simp) it doesn’t end well. 

I feel like, if we face canon Virgil, sure, he might suck a little bit, but he’s okay. He might need a bit of a “Hey. Shut up. And put in an effort to be nicer. We value you, but we also do need you to try to be nice to us.” And it doesn’t have to be much. All you have to do is have him apologise and accept it and come back with slightly less jabs, or nicer jabs. 

The creators had a really hard job to do with moving the plot forward. As a series that couldn’t rush it too much in terms of ideas because (please just go read my long post on the flaw) of the issues the series has in displaying the issues it attempts to cover. They couldn’t overwhelm their audience, move on too quickly or anything. No matter what they did, I can’t think of a way to plausibly end it in a clean, satisfying swipe.

So. Overall, our issue is we make content and then we make canon Virgil the bad guy. And I’m not saying he hasn’t ever done anything, but from my (obscured and weird) vantage point, that what it looks like.

I love Virgil. As a character I found him awesome. And I could see that, yes, he wasn’t great, but I also did enough deep looking to see why. 

We are the issue. We make up scenarios and we twist canon to fit what we like. Which is fine and great, I’m not saying that people should stop, but, it means that there cannot be a Virgil that is likeable. 

This doesn’t make sense. 

Whatever.

(Hey @imma-potatoo I hope you wanted me to tag you on my Headcannon series where I do this sorta stuff because that’s what I’m doing.

(*: Well, technically for the people who have been anti-virgil since the beginning of time I assume they thought/think he is bad or at least some form of bad.)