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#i know this is like my fifth post about this scene but like it makes me feel so many emotions and
enbyjane · 11 months
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the truth is (a perspective on love)
context: edit based off a personal conversation with @onlineproblems about parental love, unconditional love and the love we deserve bonus: her wise perspective:
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more bonus:
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#i don't make edits nor any other posts in months and then when i do it's based off a personal conversation#anyways a bit of background context for the bad bitches who care about this stuff <3 (i love you bad bitches)#i chose the church scene for 1 for the fact that it's one of the lowest points for jane (and lisbon too arguably)#in our lowest points we are more likely to feel like we are not deserving of love#(particularly if our guardians would have expressed or implied we are not worthy of love respect and consideration if we didn't comply)#and also for the church imagery: that they're in a church and god is said to be unconditionally loving#(but a lot of folks - yours truly included - may not feel so. i am not speaking for everyone tho and my perspective is christian)#the second one is...well i would've wanted to have a shot with both their faces but i simply couldn't get it so i focused on lisbon.#but they both want to be loved as they are. by the other one preferably. and they both love each other. idiots (affectionately)#the third one is rather simple - alex jane is an abusive piece of shit and probably i don't have to explain much here#the fourth one is...well lisbon's mum wasn't present and her dad definitely didn't know how to care for them and offer them love#it is also implied that the mother wasn't very responsible either#and the fifth is...they have each other's love but just as importantly they have the love of their community as well.#the love they give and receive doesn't stop there with each other#they give and receive from their family and friends and community as well; and from themselves#the mentalist#jisbon#wayne rigsby#tm edit#tm meta#my edits#love#parental love
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needle-noggins · 10 months
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(CW for SA, suicidal ideation) Here we go. My favorite and simultaneously least favorite panel of Vash and Knives.
I've seen a few interpretations of this scene and before we dive into the one that really struck me, let's start with the more... chill one. We're finally introduced to the third gun of Trigun, Vash's angel arm. And the way we're introduced to it involves Knives forcing him to pull the trigger. Of course, since no one knows anything about Knives, the people of Noman's Land blame Vash for Fifth Moon, and Vash likewise blames himself (this is kinda a spoiler but if you've been paying attention, it's just par for the course). However, he's not the one who pulled the trigger, Knives is. It brings up an interesting moral question of blame - do we blame the gun (and Vash, who is being used/objectified as a weapon here), or the person who wanted it to happen? Guns don't kill people, genocidal twins do!
Now for the awful interpretation, the one that makes me cry and wish Vash was real so I could hug him and pay for his therapy. And really highlights how awful Knives is and how far he'd go for his brother in his own, fucked-up way. I touched on this in a previous post about Legato and the Murder Cafe, and the whole time I was thinking about Fifth Moon but didn't want to say anything for the sake of spoilers.
So. Pay attention to the way Vash and Knives are standing. Knives, when he first grabbed Vash's head, was standing in front of him. He moves behind him to better control him and yeah, he's still controlling him via hand on head, and now he's got his other hand gripping Vash's chest, where feathers/wings are manifesting. Knives is assaulting him. If you wanna get crazy with it and say that the angel arm is kinda phallic, you could say... yeah. This is rape. I heard that specific interpretation once and while I accepted it I also don't know if that would be generally accepted or if I'd be called out for it, so I'm trying to tread lightly here.
It also doesn't escape me that of course the angel arm has feminine features like the plants - the plants that, again, humans are exploiting for their ability to create. There's a lot of feminist commentary to be made here but many people have said it better than me. Specifically I'm thinking of this one post I saw about gender fuckery and Tristamp Vash. Anyway.
Also, the atomic bomb/black hole/sun/whatever that is in the middle... It's just so powerful. It's terrifying. The eldritch body horror here is a punch to the gut. What the fuck, Trigun? I thought this was a funky space western!!!
Oh, and here's more commentary on the following few panels:
Vashussy shot, Knives is still right behind him. Yeah, I wasn't kidding about how bad this pose is for them. Knives, you sick fuck.
Vash shoots himself in the leg (a key difference from '98 trigun, lol), because of course he does, but it doesn't free him from the arm.
The arm's getting darker/the light inside is getting lighter! Stampede did an awesome job with their interpretation of the angel arm and I don't think I would have understood it without that. Also, on my first read I didn't notice that Vash is literally levitating, which is cool, but also terrifying because ?? he's not in control of that either??
Finally. A super painful, minimalist, double-page spread. Nightow loves 'em. Vash thinks he's dying (maybe?) and he wishes he had never existed. It's not suicidal ideation per se, but he wishes he didn't exist at all because he's already caused enough suffering. This is a low for him, because he believes so strongly in the concept of the Blank Ticket. (Come on, soupy brain bitch boy, get it together!) He's a monster, it's just how he was born, and he's not in control. Very specifically too, he says "we", and then changes it to "I"... he doesn't blame Knives at all, and that's very him. I want to shake him! Stop playing the martyr, Vash!
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tomatopers · 1 month
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❝ I'm. . . late?! ❞
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in honor of me also forgetting vday :,) here is my first post for this acc !! I also need to remember to make an intro post n stuff, and hopefully i'll make some friends on here eventually </3 i see ppl interacting with their anons/followers and it's sooo cute when will that be me !!!!
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They forgot Valentine's Day... surely the nineteenth is just as special? Diluc, Zhongli x GN!Reader (separate)
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Diluc watched you silently from a window, the sunny scene outside feeling worlds away from his own dim office. You were sitting on the stone wall surrounding the Dawn Winery, pretending to read one of his boring novels while pointedly ignoring him. He was very often unaware of his stumbles, this being his first relationship, but wouldn't he would catch on soon enough?
Sure it was immature to still act huffy at this age, but Valentine's day was 5 days ago! Not one! FIVE! You had to witness Lisa flirting with the Acting Grand Master for hours, which wasn't uncommon in the slightest, but the librarian seemed to make use of all her cheesy lines on the holiday.
The stone was frigid beneath your bare legs, and you were reminded that the sun hadn't yet begun to do its job this early in the month as your legs grew numb. Perhaps on this fifth day of snubbing your lover, you'd spend the night at a bar- maybe even in Venti's company, or Kaeya's. That last ditch effort to get him to notice your huffy behavior never failed.
The worst part of this whole affair was that you couldn't even be disappointed or properly upset in peace. How could you, when this was clearly not an intentional mishap? Diluc worked diligently, and was far more dependable than most; Though, this trait of his only served to deepen your guilt. Perhaps you should apologize for this childish behavior... Maybe talk it out like proper adults...
6 o'clock found you on a barstool at Angels' share, a little early for drinking but the glass in your hand was clearly not your first. Kaeya sat to your right, an arm resting on the counter as he lent an ear to your woes. Venti stood to your left, strumming his lyre quietly and pitching in jests during the quieter moments.
The door opened at 7 on the dot, and you turned around despite knowing who stood behind you. The backlighting of the evening sun made his hair glow like fire, exaggerating the irritation on Diluc's face to resemble anger. You stood up, slightly tipsy but no less aware, and grasped Kaeya's shoulder to steady yourself before walking forward.
"Good evening, Master Diluc. What brings you here so early?" He seemed to glare at you before casting a glance at Charles. The bartender visibly jumped, quickly bowing a greeting before averting his eyes as Diluc grabbed your wrist and tugged you out of the bar. His grip, though firm, wasn't the slightest bit painful- even now, in whatever bitter mood he was in, Diluc always treated you with the utmost care.
You felt even more guilty for acting the way you did.
He released his hold on you in a more private space, tucked behind a couple trees, and waited. Just as you knew he would seek you out immediately after work, he knew you'd soon crumble under his stare and explain what you wanted. Those red eyes, sometimes blazing with anger or warm with love, were now passive and unreadable.
"Well?"
You felt heat behind your eyes, feeling the tears before they could escape down your cheeks. How stupid. It was hard to form a sentence between sniffles, so you stood and cried as he enveloped you in a hug. Maybe you had more than a few drinks back at the bar...
When your tears were all but spent, you gripped his hand in embarrassment, unable to meet his gaze. "...I'm sorry."
"What for?"
You sighed, "I've been such a child about this, it honestly wasn't even that important yet I-"
"If it bothered you, then it's important. To me."
There it was again, the ever chivalrous Diluc and his overflowing compassion when it came to you. Despite the temptation to lie and play it off, you sheepishly admitted, "It's just that, uh- a few days ago, it was Valentine's day... and we didn't really um- celebrate together... But! It's okay! You do so much already and I honestly don't need to do anything for some silly holiday when we can do stuff like that any day and.."
Looking up, you trailed off into a confused silence. Diluc's face was red, and he was the one now avoiding your eyes. "I'm- My apologies. I admit, it did slip my mind, but that is no excuse. It's more than a silly holiday, and as such, I would be honored if you would allow me an attempt to make it up to you." You burst out laughing, and he looked relieved. You really had no reason to be upset, not with this cute of a lover.
"I would allow you all the attempts possible, Mr. Ragnvindr. All the attempts and more." He smiled and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as you followed him out of the alley. "Shall we visit that famous traveling chef then, darling? I heard he's in town. Or the Good Hunter, for something casual? Or perhaps we could buy you one of those gorgeous necklaces they have at the-"
You pulled him in by his collar, feeling him stiffen at the kiss before relaxing. "Diluc, sweetheart, I was thinking something closer to home? I can make dinner, and," you gestured at the setting sun, "the night is still young, I'm sure we can have some... fun, in that great big house of yours."
He turned an even brighter red, trying to cover his blush with the hand you weren't holding. "...That would be perfect."
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It was rarer for Zhongli to go a day without speaking to you than it was for him to remember his wallet. That's why it was evident to even those around you that there was something amiss. You worked at a teahouse, and that just happened to be where Zhongli's favorite tea was sold. When you weren't working, you'd help out at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, or stroll with him along the boardwalk. Plenty of time together, to say the least.
When the regulars witnessed you not serving the consultant's tea, as you always did, it immediately became a source of chatter- Some of the older women were having quite a laugh about young lovers' quarrels, though your relationship with Zhongli was far past the "young love" stage. As you walked from table to table, it was hard to ignore his stare practically burning holes through you.
The first whole hour of his visit must've passed this way; your every movement under the scrutiny of the ex-archon, your coworkers, and half the guests in the teahouse. Your work wasn't any different than usual, no. In fact, you might even be more productive now that you weren't stopping to chat with Zhongli whenever your hands were free. The owner of the place would never admit it, but he too was curious of the predicament under his roof.
Your scheduled break was minutes away, the one you would typically spend at Zhongli's table, but you clearly didn't intend to do so today. For a being such as him, it was inevitable that certain things would slip his mind, but Valentine's Day? You had planned out the entire day as a surprise, the holiday had even fallen on one of Zhongli's leisure days, but he called in the morning to tell you he'd be assisting the Traveler and would not come by. It wasn't even a brief task! He was gone for five days!
It wasn't like you hadn't told him anything, either. "Oh illustrious Rex Lapis, God among men, I beseech your presence in my humble abode on the final day of this week." He had chuckled at your attempt of mimicking the speech of those who cowered before him in his days of glory, taking your hand with a smile and a kiss. It was going to be perfect! But the plans were discarded, and the cake you made still sat untouched in the fridge...
Xingqiu walked in with his usual cheerful wave, heading to the back corner where he'd spend a couple hours reading; As though he noticed your restlessness, he smiled and offered you a seat to join him, "I'll take you up on your offer to regale me with the stories from your trip overseas, if I may?" You smiled back, "Of course! I'll bring the tea and join you."
You spent your break with the young man, and the following remainder of the shift passed with ease. At some point, Zhongli had disappeared- had he gotten upset? Most likely not, such a small matter was far from enough to garner his irritation. It was more likely that work had called for his presence. Maybe he'd notice shop owners taking down their holiday wares on his walk and remember his oversight.
You hung up your apron, bidding the staff goodnight before descending the stairs to head home. Someone was standing at the entrance to a darker alley, one tucked away from the streetlights and the watchful eyes of the Millelith. Quickening your pace, you were about to pass by when a voice, his voice, stopped you in your tracks.
"My dear, won't you tell me what has drawn your ire?" Zhongli stepped forward, his confused expression revealing his failure to decipher the issue alone. "I am unaware of any shortcoming, but I assure you it was far from intentional-"
"..."
He walked closer, "Pardon?" You looked up at him, hoping you didn't look pathetically sad. "It was Valentine's Day, the day you left for that trip with the Traveler. That's why I had invited you over." His face fell, his immediate regret making it nigh impossible to retain your frustration. "I will not make any excuses, beloved, it was entirely my fault that we could not celebrate such a wonderful day together-"
"It was, yes."
"-and I believe I grasp the value of celebrating love with a romantic partner, so while it won't compare, please join me for dinner tomorrow, where I can properly demonstrate my affections. I recall you liking when I cook, and surely such a thing is enjoyable together."
You pretended to consider the matter, before laughing and accepting his outstretched hand. "I would love to join you, and I hope I may occupy your time through the night as well." You saw his gaze sharpen for a moment before he swept you off your feet and into his arms.
"If I didn't know any better, my love, I'd think you were trying to tempt me."
"Whatever gave you that idea, darling?"
Without setting you down, he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I believe you wouldn't protest to spending tonight together, as well?" You could feel the laughter rumbling through his chest, could see the smile splitting his face even with your face hidden behind your hands from the embarrassment. "My most adorable lover, I shall never again miss an opportunity to exhibit the extent of my affection for you."
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moonstruckme · 5 months
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you did the james x hufflepuff prank story so good. BUT i think what would be so iconic is the reverse. IF a slytherin reader got tired of james and the gang's shenanigans against the slytherins and decides to get revenge which maybe goes a bit wrong?? i live for a little enemies to lovers haha!
Thanks for requesting my love!
cw: alcohol, spiked drinks
James Potter x slytherin!reader ♡ 1.4k words
You’d thought the only downside of your prank was that you wouldn’t get to see it happen. The best you could hope for was an overheard conversation in class about how the marauders had gotten drunk on the firewhiskey Sirius kept stored under his bed and had somehow ended up naked in the forbidden forest trying to befriend the faeries or something like that. 
You certainly hadn’t expected James Potter to come knocking at the door to the Slytherin common room at nearly one in the morning. 
Your scowl is immediate upon seeing him, more instinct than anything, but you're surprised that he almost matches it. James’ eyes are fierce, his hair in disarray and his lips downturned. He’s breathing hard like he’s run all the way here. 
You raise a brow. “Can I help you?”
“One—” he pants. “One of you tampered with our alcohol. I need—need to know who.” He starts to push the door open, but you stop it with your foot. “Let me in.” 
“That won’t be necessary,” you say coolly, though you’re more than a little alarmed by the grim set of the Gryffindor captain’s features. You don’t know James very well, but you’ve seen enough of him over the years to know that his geniality is usually unshakeable. Has a taste of his own medicine really gotten him this riled? “What’s happened to your alcohol, Potter, and why do you assume someone in Slytherin is responsible?” 
James huffs. “I don’t know what’s happened to my alcohol. All I know is that I’ve got fifth-years in the common room flapping their arms and saying they’re going to join a dragon colony, and I need to know if there’s an antidote to give them.” He seems to anger with every word. His eyes narrow on you, and you never would have thought to find James Potter intimidating, but you’re something close to intimidated now. Your stomach does a little flip. “And when an entire party of Gryffindors gets roofied the night before our quidditch match with Slytherin, I’m bound to make some assumptions.” 
“Take me to them.”
“What?”
“I might be able to help,” you say, forcing your shoulders back and your chin up a notch. “I’m good at potions, and it could take forever to track down the person who drugged your alcohol. Let me try to figure it out.” 
James shakes his head at you, straightening his glasses. “I don’t have time to mess around.” 
“I can tell.” You slide out of the opening in the door, shutting it behind you before James can think to dash through. “But I think I’m your best shot.” You start towards the Gryffindor rooms, hoping he’ll follow. 
He does, jogging to catch up to your brisk strides. You don’t like the idea of wasting time any more than James does. Your prank was supposed to be contained, a little joke to get back at the small group of Gryffindor boys for their endless volley of pranks against your house. You were supposed to have the gratification of knowing you’d made fools of the marauders for one night, not roofie an entire party of innocent students. Well, Gryffindors. But still. 
“How did you not end up drugged?” you ask as you walk. 
“Quidditch match tomorrow,” James replies simply. “I didn’t want a hangover. Not,” he adds, “that I’ve ever had a hangover. I’m Head Boy; any drinking that happens in Gryffindor house is, of course, without my knowledge or participation.” 
You have to bite back a small smile. “Of course.” 
He murmurs the password to the fat lady as you approach, and you ignore the judgemental look she passes over your green robes as she swings aside, begrudgingly allowing you entry. 
Your guilt increases tenfold at the scene in the common room. 
Lily Evans has posted herself by the door, turning back students vying for exit. There is indeed a group of fifth-years waving their arms about and looking out the windows as if they’d take to the skies, and half of the Gryffindor quidditch team looks to be trying to start a match indoors. 
James takes your hand when you linger too long by the entryway, tugging you through the crowd. You stop at a small table, where the empty bottle of firewhisky sits next to a giant bowl where they’ve apparently mixed it with coca cola or something. You lean down over the bowl, sniffing cautiously like you imagine you would if you didn’t know what it was. Thankfully, one ingredient has left a scent. 
“Scurvy grass,” you say to James, straightening. “It’s the main ingredient in befuddlement draught.” 
“S’exactly what I said,” Remus Lupin comments from the couch, seemingly speaking to a pillow he’s got in his lap. “We’ve all got scurvy.”
James ignores his friend, raising his eyebrows at you. “That was quick. Is there an antidote?” 
You frown, letting the very real regret you’re feeling show in your expression. “None that I know of,” you reply. “It’s like alcohol, it just fades with time.” 
James looks around the room worriedly. “How much time?”
You shake your head. “Not likely soon enough. Your best bet is getting everyone to bed. They’ll sleep it off.” 
James takes a deep breath. “Alright, I can do that. Evans!” he calls, getting the Head Girl’s attention. “We’re to put them to bed.” 
Lily nods, gathering a few girls from around her and herding them upstairs. James heads for the fifth-years, blabbering something about how dragons need rest to keep their fire hot. You don’t think that’s true, but the students start moving nonetheless, James keeping them going with words of encouragement each time they try to turn back. 
“Could you just stay by the door?” he asks you as he follows them upstairs. “Make sure nobody leaves.” 
You nod, posting yourself by the entryway and telling anyone that comes close to go to bed. Your persuasive skills aren’t up to par with James or Lily’s, but eventually they get everyone to their rooms, and James is the only one who comes back down the stairs. 
He rubs harshly at his eyes, disrupting his glasses, and begins to clean up the mess of the party. You join him, gathering discarded cups and setting up a pile of left items (shoes and wands and even a pair of pants) by the fireplace. 
“If you’re still worried about the match,” you say after awhile, “everyone should be fine by tomorrow morning. The effects of befuddlement draught don’t usually last for more than a few hours, and sleeping will help.” 
“You seem somewhat of an expert on befuddlement draught,” James says lightly.
You flush, bending to pick up another cup. “It was on the OWLs. I studied hard.” 
He hums noncommittally. “Well, I appreciate you coming to help clean up your own mess.” 
You look at him, an inquiry as to what he could possibly mean already forming on your tongue, but the look on James’ face stops you. He knows. “It was only supposed to be you,” you say. “It was Black’s firewhiskey, I thought it would just be him, you, and maybe Lupin drinking it. I didn’t think you would share.” 
James actually laughs at that. “Yes, sharing! How ridiculous of us.” 
You huff, despising him for the shame twisting in your gut. “I’m just trying to tell you that it wasn’t my intention to spike the drinks of all of Gryffindor.” You narrow your eyes at him. “Maybe if you didn’t distribute your alcohol, these things wouldn’t happen.” 
James crosses his arms. “As I’ve said, I would personally never distribute alcohol or endorse underage drinking. But it seems that, whatever may or may not have happened tonight involved a series of unfortunate accidents, which could have been avoided if several parties had been more responsible.” 
You bristle at the veiled scolding. Frankly, James implicating himself as partially responsible for the night’s events doesn’t do much to alleviate your guilt either. He’s gone soft on you, the panic that had fueled his earlier breach in character worn away, and he’s back to his lighthearted, irritatingly nice self. 
You can’t look at it, and you roll your eyes as you turn away, tossing the last cup into the trash bin on your way to the door. “See you at the match tomorrow, Potter.” 
You can practically feel the warmth of his smile at your back. “See you there. And I’ll be keeping an eye on my drinks in the future, so don’t get it in your head to try it again!”
Oh, James can rest easy. You won’t.
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mj0702 · 4 months
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Thanks to RDJ and Crush for putting up with my insecure annoying ass ❤️
First time trying to write a fiction... always open to criticism or just some nice words 😁
Talk to us
You don't really know how you got in that position – naked, bent over your bed, you legs held apart by belts around your thighs, tied to the posts of the bed. You DO remember, WHY you were in this position. You had snapped once to often at your girlfriends Ingrid and Mapí – which Mapí normally forgives, but your other Girlfriend Ingrid wasn't as forgiving. Ingrid always made sure to put you back in your place. As she does right now, the paddle connecting harshly with your naked skin.
„You want to talk about your recent mood, liten en?” the dark haired Woman asked after the fifth blow. You just grunted, indicating that you in fact didn't want to talk about it.
“Maybe another five will change your mind, elskling” she said and brought the paddle down again.
You head fell forward on your cuffed wrists and you refused to make any sounds. After another four, your girlfriend stopped again, softly caressing the red skin of your cheek. Your breath already laboured you relax a little under her soft touch
“Tell me, liten en... what's with the attitude lately?” she says softly, trying to coax an answer out of you.
You shake your head in response feeling the soft leather of your wrist cuffs on your face. Your other girlfriend, Mapí watched the scene from afar, a strap-on secured around her hips.
“Still not ready to talk?” Ingrid asked softly, but you can hear a hint of warning in her voice.
“Nothing to talk about” you pant out
“Oh but I think there is, elskling” Ingrid said “for over a week now, you're very humørsyk.. angry even... I REALLY tried to be nice and understanding, as did Mapí but snapping at her for asking what you would like for dinner is enough... so tell me, mi amor – what's been bothering you”
“Nothing that concerns you” you seethe
“Mapí... princesa” the dark haired woman looked over to her girlfriend “Tell me... the last time she had an attitude – how many orgasms until she started talking?”
“Five” the blonde Athlete grinned
“We won't stop at five this time, mi amor” Ingrid whispered in your ear “We won't stop until you are ready to talk”
“I don't WANT to talk” you growl
“You won't have a choice, cariño” Mapí smirked from her place “You know she won't stop til you either talk or pass out”
“There is nothing to talk about” you pressed out
“We'll see” Ingrid said and you could hear her smirking as she brought the paddle down on your ass again
“Fuck” you growled
Your girlfriend realized that it won't be any use to keep punishing you, so she tried a different approach. She caressed your skin and started with her right hand to rub your pussy. You first tried to get away from her touch (without any success due to your tied legs) before giving in and holding still for her.
“There we go” Ingrid smirked and sneaked her left arm under your body which was still slumped over on the bed, grabbing your breast “that wasn't so hard now, was is mi amor?”
You weren't ready to give in just yet so you started to scramble away a little bit. The dark haired woman smirked wider knowing you'd put up a fight “You know you won't win this fight, elskling – just give in already”
Mapí grinned widely, starting to massage her breasts while watching the two of you
You finally let a quiet moan slip out between your lips, knowing you lost that battle, but maybe not the war. Your girlfriends shared a look of amusement as Ingrid draped herself over your back, pressing gentle kisses into your neck while starting to finger you slowly
“Give in liten en...” the Norwegian whispered into your ear “Give in and I'll let you cum”
You moan again still trying to get away from your girlfriends touch. Ingrids finger started to go deeper and faster causing you to whimper.
“You're doing so good, mi amor” she praised you, before thrusting her fingers hard into you “Cum” she commanded you, biting into your shoulder. You moaned loudly, cumming hard on her fingers. She didn't give you time to recover as she started immediately to thrust her fingers back into you. Again you tried to get away from her touch just for her to chuckle “Always feisty... you know I love it, when you're bratty like this. More fun to make you submit to me – and Mapí”
Your head still on your wrists, you growl which sounded pathetic and made Ingrid laugh, while still fingering your pussy without mercy “Oh elskling – you have no idea what you started with your behaviour... be a good girl and give in... We'll take care of you”
You knew she lured you into a false sense of security with her kind words and you also knew that they where nowhere near done with you.
“Here's what's going to happen, liten en... first you give me another orgasm, before I let Mapí have some fun with you, while I watch – she's been so well behaved, waiting for me to be done with you... then, after our princesa is done with you we'll have some fun together making you come again... and again... and again... until you're finally ready to tell us what's wrong” the Norwegian said, still draped over your back and you just knew you won't be able to talk when your girlfriends were done. You moaned again and you pushed yourself up on your elbows, your head still hanging down.
“I thought so” Ingrid smirked “Will you give me another one, kjærlighet or will you fight me again?”
The sound that came out of your mouth wasn't human as you reached your peak again, falling over the edge. This time Ingrid indeed stopped her ministrations, letting you ride out your orgasm on her fingers. You fell forward trying to catch your breath as you feel her pulling her fingers from your pussy which caused you to whine.
“Sssh liten en...” she said softly before sending Mapí a look, who immediately stood up and walked behind you. Mapí took the strap and lined it up with your entrance. You jumped a little and started to shake your head, letting them know you weren't ready for it. Ingrid sensed your discomfort and threw her original plan to watch the Spanish fuck you senseless out the window to comfort you. She was quick to climb on the bed in front of you. She grabbed your chin and pushed it up so you had to look at her. Your eyes showed her a mix of emotions – sadness, trust, love and lust.
“You trust us, sí?” she asked her voice low. You nod shortly. It was enough for Ingrid who started to kiss you softly while giving Mapí a small sign to continue. As your spanish girlfriend started to slowly push the strap inside you, you moaned into the kiss which caused Ingrid to end it just to push you further up by your shoulder to firstly push you down into Mapí and secondly pull your upper body into hers, holding your head just above her heart.
“Mierda... Tan apretada” Mapí grunted, as she pushed the fake dick deeper into you. You groaned into Ingrids chest, your tied hands trying to hold on to something. The dark haired woman showed a little mercy, offering you her hand to hold while her other held your head securely to her body. You grabbed the offered hand of your girlfriend and squeezed it tightly.
“Colour mi amor?” Ingrid checked in with you, because even if she was pissed off with you for your behaviour, they would never hurt you
“G-g-g-green” you moaned out, as Mapí started to fuck you slowly with the strap
“Good girl” Ingrid mumbled against your hair, pressing a kiss to your forehead
“You're getting soft, Corazón” Mapí smirked at Ingrid, while pushing deeper into you, making you moan louder
“If you don't want to end up at the receiving end, María, I would advise you shut up and go back to the task on hand” Ingrid raised an eyebrow at her, still holding your head to her chest
You were panting hard, as your blonde girlfriend thrusted into you harder
“I can multi-task, corazón” Mapí smirked, her hips never faltering as she grabbed your shoulder for leverage, now pounding into you
“Fuuuuck” you moaned as she found the perfect angle for the enjoyment to flood through your body
“Will you cum again, mi amor?” Ingrid smirked, holding you tightly to her body, giving you the feeling of security that you needed. Your body arched as you can feel your climax approaching – again.
“Cum para mi” Mapí growled, as she draped herself over your back, biting your shoulder hard.
Your body went rigid, as you came screaming her name before slumping forward, Ingrid catching your body. She carefully lowered your body (and Mapís for the matter, who was still laying panting on top of your back) on the bed before starting to unbuckle the leather belts around your thighs. You were thankful, that Ingrid didn't pull through with her threat of not stopping and you were able to catch your breath a little – as far as this was possible with Mapí still in and on you. After a few minutes Mapí eased the strap out of you, sliding of your back. In the meantime, your other girlfriend took place on the bed again, leaning against the headboard watching the two of you.
“Come here, mi amor” she said in a low voice and you rolled over to her.
She layed you down next to her, kissing you softly while she moved so she was kneeling next to you pinning your wrists to the bed next to your head. The dark haired woman continued to kiss you softly, luring you into a false sense of security. Your eyes were closed as you enjoyed the gentleness from your girlfriend. What you didn't expect in this calm moment was your other girlfriend. Mapí got rid of the strap and moved, unnoticed by you, in between your half spread legs to sink two of her slender fingers into your dripping core. You tried to get away from her touch, but couldn't muster up the strength against two world class football players – with one pinning you to the bed and the other one sitting on your leg to hold you down. The spanish player immediately started to fuck you fast and hard with her fingers not seeing any point in easing you into it. Ingrid moved again so she could reach your clit with her right hand, using now her left arm on your chest to keep you in place. Like her spanish companion she didn't go slow, rubbing your clit fast. It was embarrassing how fast you came again. Your back arched off the bed as you screamed out your pleasure. Both of your girlfriends slowed their ministrations to let you ride out the aftershocks and your body shook relentlessly.
“You want?” Mapí grinned at Ingrid offering her fingers to the Norwegian.
Ingrid sucked the two fingers into her mouth, moaning at your taste on them. The spanish woman grinned amusedly while rubbing over your hip with her other hand soothingly.
Ingrid then pulled you up by your arm and sat herself behind you so your back was pressed against her front. You were too far gone to realize what your two girlfriends were planning not noticing the trap. Ingrid pressed a soft kiss to your temple, while her hands start to explore your body. She caressed your breasts, pinching your nipple causing you to moan quietly. Mapí tried to pry your legs open again, but this time you fought her on it and pressed them together.
“Don't fight me, Negrita” the spanish said as she tried to push them apart again “We're not done yet”
Before you could snap an answer at her, Ingrid hooked her feet under your ankles and pulled your legs apart while pushing your head onto her shoulder with her left hand.
“You're getting soft, Corazón” Ingrid smirked at Mapí using her own words against her.
“She would have given in, if you weren't so... impaciente” the spanish woman mustered
“Less talking, more... you know... four down, a lot more to go” the Norwegian motioned to your spread legs
Sometimes you hated it when your girlfriends talked over your head but right now you couldn't give a flying fuck. Your blonde girlfriend immediately pushed two fingers into you, but changing things up, starting slow. A bit too slow for your liking. You whined pathetic as Ingrid started to press soft kisses to your neck, holding your head on her shoulder. You tried to push your hips down onto Mapís finger but with Ingrid still holding your legs open with her feet, you had no chance of getting more fraction. The spanish went agonizing slow, enjoying every second of your whining.
“You want more, bonita?” Mapí grinned wickedly.
“¡sí, por favor!” you whined
“Look at that.. I fuck her so good, she starts speaking spanish” The blonde grinned at Ingrid
“She IS Spanish, you idiot” the Norwegian exclaimed, a small smile tugging on her lips
“Please” you whimpered as Mapí keeps her rhythm slow and steady.
“I know” the blonde rolled her eyes “but in favour of you, she always speaks english”
“Mapí” the Norwegian warned, knowing that firstly María gets easily distracted and secondly you could snap and block them out.
“Right at it, Corzón” the Spanish grinned, lowering her head to suck on your clit, while her fingers still tease the velvety inside of your pussy
“Mierda” you squeak out, your body jolting as you felt your girlfriends mouth on you
Ingrid chuckled keeping your head on her shoulder, pressing open mouth kisses to your neck and throat. You whine patheticlly, needing more comfort from the dark haired woman. Thankfully she understood and guided your head gently so your lips could meet. You desperatly moan into the kiss trying to get Ingrid to give in but she keeps the kiss soft and gentle. Mapí starts to increase her rhythem, working her fingers deeper into you and her tongue playing with your clit. Your whole body shivered as you could feel your next high coming quickly – you weren't even sure if it was a next or a still ongoing high. Your girlfriends were certainly on a mission.
“It's okay, liten en... no holding back... show María what a good job she's doing” Ingrid mumbled into the kiss, her right hand massaging your breast.
It got too much for you as Mapí sucked hard on your clit once, her fingers pushing deeply inside you and you came again but this time with a silent scream. Your body arched in the Norwegians hold and the Spanish between your legs had problems to remain in her position but she didn't let go of you. Her fingers keep massaging your insides while your thighs shake hard only being kept open by Ingrids hold on them.
“Tan buena para mi” Mapí murmured against your clit before removing her fingers and starting to clean you up
You tried to squirmed away from her only to be shushed by Ingrid
“Be good, mi amor...” she spoke softly into you ear before pressing a kiss to your temple.
You slumped back into her, your breathing ragged you tried to hold still as Mapí teasingly pushed her tongue into you. You squeaked and this time you did manage to get Mapí away from your pussy.
“You don't want me anymore, bebita?” the Spanish laid her head on your hip pouting.
“Too much” you panted
“No, liten en.. we told you we're not stopping at five this time... how often did you came this time?” Ingrid whispered into your ear.
“Don't... don't know” you stuttered out
“Five” María helped you out “So at least ONE more, Negrita”
“No... please... no more” you begged, tears starting to form in your eyes
“You brought that on yourself, mi amor” the Norwegian said as she started to move out from behind you “And I didn't get around to taste you so far”
Mapí climbed over your body to get next to you, while Ingrid kissed her way down. You whined and squirmed but it was no use – as usual. You knew that they only would stop if you used your Safeword so you gave in to your fate. You felt the bed dip beside you as Mapí took her place next to you, kissing your jaw softly moving down your throat.
“You need to be good for Ingrid, Cielo...” the Spanish murmured against your throat “She really loves to eat you out – which I understand, because you taste asombrosa... adictiva even... once you start, it's SO hard to stop”
Ingrid reached her destination and immediately went to work, pushing her tongue inside you. It felt different to Mapís which people probably wouldn't belive. Mapís tongue was smaller, softer, more defined while Ingrids was more rough, more muscular. In the end it didn't matter, because each time they make you come so hard, you normally see stars. Mapí carefully grabbed your throat and squeezed lightly, knowing that SOMETIMES you let her live out one of her many kinks. The spanish also knew that she has to approach the action carefully since you get panicked if you get overwhelmed by it. So she tried to ease you into it, but this time it was too much for you – being already overstimulated and Ingrid between your legs, you clawed at Mapís arm.
“Oh Bebita... it's okay... you're okay” the spanish said as she let go of your throat but not moving her hand to far just letting it rest on your cheek
The Norwegian between your legs looked up as she noticed you tensing up for a second, checking up on you. She saw that Mapí moved her hand from your throat to your cheek and continued her ministrations on your pussy. You started to squirm again trying to get away from the stimulation only to find your right leg get trapped by your spanish girlfriend.
“You need to be good for Ingrid, Negrita” Mapí whispered in your ear, planting a soft kiss right under it “You were so good for me... be good for her tambíen”
“I... I... I try” you pant out, feeling her tongue brushing inside you making you moan
“I know, Bebita... I know” the spanish mumbled as she nuzzled into cheek
Ingrid draged your pleasure out until you couldn't contain yourself anymore, screaming for her to let you come – you knew better than to come without her permission. She quickly switch from her tongue to her finger, sinking three of them into you fucking you rapidly. This high hit different. You felt not only the pleasurable pull in your body you also felt an unknown sentsation. Your girlfriend didn't stop tho – she told you over and over to come even after you already came. She plunged her fingers deeper and faster into you
“Come, mi amor” she growled, feeling you haven't given her everything “Come again for me”
And you did – suddenly you were flying. You didn't notice Ingrid pulling her fingers out of you suddenly, you didn't feel Mapís bite into your neck, you didn't hear yourself scream – you just felt boneless. In the best possible way. Your girlfriends on the other hand watched amazed as your body snapped of the bed in a final high.
“Did... did you just” Mapí said confused as she looked at the wet patch on the bed
“Made her squirt?” Ingrid smirked very pleased with herself “Yes I did”
“How?” the spanish asked still in a state of shock
“I'm just that good, Corazón” the Norwegian smirked, crawling up the bed taking your still shaking body into her arms, running her hands soothingly over it whispering sweeet nothings into your ear. Mapí snapped out of her state of shock, joining Ingrid in calming you down also searching for the personal contact, talking to you in low, hushed spanish.
After some time, you started to calm down, starting to slowly take in your surroundings, feeling your girlfriends close. You blinked a few times before turning your head towards Ingrid since she was the one who initiated it all. You knew they wouldn't push you any further but you also know the uninventable was coming. She looked at you expectantly, knowing you wouldn't speak without permission after what she just said to you. So she curtly nodded her head giving you the chance to explain yourself.
“Promise me you won't get mad” you mumble and Ingrid immediately knew you were ready to talk about whatever is going on in your head.
“I can't promise that and you know it – the last time you started like this, the two of you thought it would be great idea to jump from the balcony into the pool... and you ended up in hospital with a broken arm” the Norwegian rolled her eyes.
“It WAS a great idea... in theory” you mumbled and started to bite your lip nervously
“In reality it was a VERY bad idea... so no, I can't promise you not to get mad” the Norwegian said
You stayed quiet for a few more minutes only snapping out of your headspace as you felt Mapí starting to kiss your neck again
“I got a letter from my parents” you mumble looking away from your norwegian girlfriend
“That's all? You were in a bad mood for over a week now over a letter? What did it say?” Ingrid said and you could hear a tint of frustration in her voice.
“I... don't know... haven't opened it.. shoved it in the living room drawer where all the decoration stuff is” you mumbled feeling like a small child
“Mapí... get that letter for god sakes” Ingrid said and rolled her eyes
Mapí was about to stand up when you stopped her
“Please don't...” you whispered, which made the spanish stop dead in her tracks
“Mi amor.... it's killing you not knowing.. you know we're always here for you – forever and always” the norwegian said softly
“I don't want to know with what bullshit they come around the corner now... it looks like some official stuff too – don’t want to deal with that right now” you said, still not looking at them
“I know you don't have the best relationship with them, Bebita... but maybe it'll help... maybe we can help” Mapí tried as well
“Would you consider assassinate them?” you asked and your girlfriends hear that you’re not serious.
Mapí burst out laughing while Ingrid poked your side in a warning.
“Can’t Bebita... I wouldn't survive in jail – I’m too pretty for jail” the Spanish woman laughed
“You would be the only one out of us three that would survive jail” you said pointing out “Ingrid would get killed trying to take over some gang and I would just be someones bitch... you would get into a gang and earn your rightful place by doing jobs no one would want to do”
“Wow... you already have it planned out” Ingrid said looking at you in disbelief “and thank you for your confidence in me”
“I like how you think, Negrita” Mapí grinned.
“No assassination, no jail... but we need to talk about this letter” the Norwegian brought the topic back up “you can’t just push us away, mi amor... you need to talk to us... that’s the most important thing in this relationship – communication. We all have off days, moody days – we are human after all, but if something like this comes up again, just talk to us... I don’t care if you talk to Mapí or me or both of us... but talk. Even if we can’t offer a solution right away, there’s still a good chance we can help somewhere down the line. We don’t know what happened with your parents and we won’t push you to tell us, but we’re always here to help. We care about you, we love you”
“I... I love you too... but please... Can we just not... tonight?” you asked hopefully looking up for the first time
“Okay” Ingrid huffed out softly “not tonight”
“Tomorrow” Mapí said, a little encouraging smile grazing her lips
“Okay” you said relieved, your eyes dropping already being worn out completely
“Sleep, mi amor” Ingrid softly whispered, holding you tightly “We'll always be with you when you wake up”
“Siempre Bebita” Mapí whispered as she laid down again pressing herself into your side
382 notes · View notes
2chopsticks2eyes · 1 year
Text
The Feeling is Mutual
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2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist
Pairing: Lee Minho/Lee Know x Han Jisung/Han x Fem Reader
Themes: Smut, Angst, Fluff
Word Count: ~11.5k | AO3
Warnings: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Alcohol, Cussing, Oral Sex, Hand Jobs, Vaginal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Alternate Universe - College/University, Vaginal Sex, Unprotected Sex
Summary: Reader is lifelong friends with Minho and Jisung and doesn't realize exactly to what extent they all love each other.
Author's Note: I am shamelessly obsessed with Minsung. Will probably add more in the future. I originally was only on AO3, but I wanted to link platforms with Tumblr and Twitter too. Hope you enjoy!
__________________________________________
“Say that to my face, you weasel.” You squared your shoulders up to the slightly shorter brunette boy that rolled his eyes at you with a huff.
“I was telling the little squirrel boy back there–” he glanced around your shoulder to the small, meek looking Han Jisung that hid behind your taller frame. “That his girlfriend looks like a lumberjack.”
“She’s not my girlfriend, Min–!” The small ravenette didn’t even finish his sentence before Minho was flat on the ground with blood gushing from his nose, your fist trembling from the powerful blow it landed.
“Tell me, Minho. How does it feel getting punched by a lumberjack?” It’s true that you were taller and more… developed than the other kids in your fifth grade class, but being best friends with Jisung, the smallest and skinniest boy in class, didn’t exactly help your image. You didn’t care though, you had gotten used to it. However, you had absolutely NO tolerance for when Lee Minho - the little shit that constantly crowded yours and Jisung’s space - would make fun of Jisung for being around you.
Minho wiped his still bleeding nose with his shirt sleeve and shucked off his backpack, not caring for a single moment that the school bus was about to arrive to take the three of you and the other students home. You smirked at his infuriated face and he suddenly jumped on you, the two of you rolling on the asphalt, slapping, tearing clothes, and pulling hair. The teachers were quickly on the scene like lightning and pulled the two of you apart.
“She started it!”
“Did not!” You glanced at Jisung and he was just frozen in place with terrified doe eyes. You didn’t want to drag him into this so you returned your gaze to the disheveled looking brunette that was glaring right back at you.
“I don’t care who started it! You two bicker all of the time and I’m sick of it! Apologize to each other this instant!” The both of you crossed your arms and looked away from each other. At that moment the bus pulled up and the loads of waiting kids started filing in. You started to step towards Jisung to get on with him, but you were pulled back by the backpack. “Nuh-uh. No one is leaving until you two apologize.” You glanced over to the bus and saw the bus driver standing in the doorway impatiently as the other kids peered out the windows at you two.
You groaned loudly and glared at Minho. “FINE. I’m sorry I punched your stupid, weasel face.” You uncrossed your arms and grabbed onto the straps of your backpack, eager to leave already.
He scoffed at you. “And I’M sorry for telling Jisung his girlfriend is a GIANT lumberjack.” You could feel rage build up in you but you just clutched your straps tighter.
Mrs. Choi let out a long sigh and rubbed her temples. “Okay, fine. If that’s how it’s going to be…” The teacher stepped up to the bus driver and announced loudly. “THESE TWO–” she pointed at the two of you, Jisung still curled in on himself off to the side. “Are to sit at the FRONT of the bus as seatmates for the rest of the semester.”
Both of your eyes popped out of your heads and you glanced at each other incredulously. “W-wait! But Mrs. Choi!”
“No buts. Now get on the bus ASAP.” She stood to the side as the bus driver resumed his post behind the wheel. You grabbed Jisung’s hand and the three of you reluctantly climbed in. The seats in the front were obviously open, none of the kids wanted to be monitored so closely by the driver, and you and Minho begrudgingly sat on one side of the aisle as Jisung sat on the other side, gazing at you with disconcertment. 
To no one’s surprise, the two of you bickered CONSTANTLY during the whole semester and couldn’t have a single bus ride in peace. Jisung always sat on the other side of the aisle and tried to be a mediator because, for some reason, Minho wasn’t nearly as douchey to the young raven haired boy. Even when you tried to ignore each other, you would always end up bickering about something .
On the days where the two of you had a moment of silence, Jisung would try to make friendly conversation with the little asshat and, surprisingly, Minho would be civil. When Jisung came over to your house after school, you would rant and ask him what he was thinking by trying to talk to him.
“I dunno, he might not be as bad as you think.” He muffled as his cheeks were full of the banana bread he was munching on. “Maybe we should invite him to sit at lunch with us. If you’re going to be forced to sit with him anyway, might as well try to get on his good side.”
“I HIGHLY doubt that kid even has a good side.” You rolled your eyes and huffed.
“Please, Y/N? Can we please try?” Once he gave you those puppy dog eyes, you knew you were screwed.
Minho was suspicious at first, but eventually, he started sitting with the two of you during lunch. Well… he sat with Jisung while you ignored him completely, but you were determined to try for Jisung’s sake.
It started with basic small talk questions that most fifth graders would ask. Do you have siblings? What’s your favorite class? Does Mr. Kim’s nose hair also distract you when he talks? You know, the basics. After that, it was easy to talk to him. Of course you still bickered, but now it was more of a game than anything, falling right in with his lame humor and teasing. Once the semester ended, you didn’t even stop sitting together. Of course the three of you would rotate who sat next to each other, but the odd one out was never seated far from the other two. 
The rest was history. The three of you were inseparable from then on. Even when you graduated, you all went to the same college, worked the same jobs, and even rented an apartment for you all to live in. Everything seemed to fall into place and you were never happier. Everything was perfect.
- - - - - - - - - -
You heard a low whistle from the living room when you stepped out of your room. “Goddamn girl, who are you out to slay tonight?” You chuckled at Jisung’s reaction from the couch where he was ogling you. You do admit, you were hoping to get laid that night. You and some of your gal pals were going out clubbing and you were determined to be whisked away to get your brains fucked out. The upcoming finals were stressing you beyond belief and it had been WAY too long since you’d been dicked down. A nice dose of endorphins were definitely due.
You had hit puberty early - hence the ‘lumberjack’ status you previously had donned - so you grew into your ‘feminine assets’ much earlier than most. So you were basically a full woman by high school, making you a force to be reckoned with as a true adult. The boys had eventually caught up to you in the puberty department and you weren’t gonna lie, they were blessed beyond words to transform from what they looked like during their rough years of zits and cracking voices to the absolutely drop dead gorgeous men they were now.
You had slipped on a form fitting black dress that hugged your slim waist and curvy hips and had curled your hair in loose waves. You had dusted a smokey look to your eye makeup and had on your favorite peaches and cream flavored lip gloss. “Hopefully someone who actually knows how to make a girl cum.”
“I wouldn’t hold your breath, kitten. Most men don’t even believe in female orgasms.” Minho said as he stepped out of the kitchen with an iced bourbon and coke.
You scoffed at the nickname he donned you with at the beginning of high school when you dressed up as a cat for Halloween. “Oh yeah? Like you?” You smirked as you snatched the glass from his hand and took a large gulp.
He grabbed your wrist and took it back. “Um excuse YOU. I have made many girls cum, thank you very much. And I don’t just stop at one either.” You scoffed and turned to put on your black strappy heels. Although you used to be taller than the both of them in grade school, they surpassed you in height LONG ago and even in heels you weren’t eye level with either of them.
“Tsk. Please. It’s been ages since I’ve seen either one of you even attempt to get your dicks wet. Even more surprising for you, Min. Aren’t you supposed to be a revolving door for idiotic twats? Don’t tell me you’ve gone celebate.” You almost even looked concerned with the disbelief in your voice.
He must have had some really strong bourbon in that drink because you could’ve swore you saw a light pink dust over his cheeks before he resumed his cocky demeanor. “Trust me, the day I go celebate will be the day of my funeral. Just tired of having to turn them away because of their ‘feelings’.” He used air quotes and cringed, proceeding to plop down on the couch next to Jisung. The latter propped his legs up on the brunette’s lap and looked at you with a small smile and a tilt to his head.
“Please don’t drink too much, baby girl. Oh and let us know when you get there. And when you leave. And make sure the guy you leave with is clean. Oh! And–”
“Alright, alright, MOM. I get it. Relax, Ji. It’s not like this is my first time going out without you asswipes.”
“Tsk. She’ll be fine, Sungie.” Minho rubbed Jisung’s thigh and turned to look at you. “But seriously, try not to be stupid for one night, yeah?” You poked your tongue out at him and he returned the gesture, making you chuckle and head towards the door.
“Love you dorks! Don’t wait for up me!” 
“Wasn’t planning on it!” You heard Minho say as the door closed behind you.
- - - - - - - - - -
“What a goddamned asshat… twinkle dick… son of a whore in the springtime looking motherfu–.” You mumbled to yourself in the cab on the way back to your apartment when the driver gave you a weird look. You instantly shut up and continued your fuming internally. You continued your self monologue when you stumbled out of the cab. 
You were several drinks in and had mascara running down your face, thanks to your ‘company’ you had acquired that night. He had pulled you into the back alley and tried to fuck you up against the wall next to the filthy dumpster and when you suggested you take it to his place instead, he got pissed and said he would ‘go find a different cumdump’ and that you were an ugly bitch anyway.
You knew that it wasn’t true, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt your ego. You could only hope that the boys were still awake and would cheer you up with a plethora of ice cream and movies. In case they were asleep, you entered the apartment quietly, lightly placing your heels in the corridor and tiptoeing through the living room to get to your room.
However, what you weren’t planning on doing was freezing in your tracks when you rounded the corner to see two figures writhing on the couch. You couldn’t believe your eyes and you couldn’t find your voice. Minho was on top of Jisung, devouring his lips like a starved man as he railed him up the ass into the couch cushions. A million thoughts ran through your mind and you couldn’t make sense of any of them. But the first and foremost thought was ‘how could my two best friends keep this from me?’.
You involuntarily let out a small whimper and two pairs of eyes shot up to meet yours. Your inebriated mind couldn’t stop the tears from flooding at that moment and the rushed figures of both of the men separating and hastily covering themselves were blurry in your sight.
“Y/N!” You could vaguely hear the two of them say in unison past the ringing in your ears. All you could think to do was to turn tail and run, so you did. You yanked on your sneakers and ran out of the building, not knowing where you were going, just knowing it wasn’t safe for your sanity to try to unpack what you just saw. You silenced your phone that was blowing up with calls and texts and stumbled your way down the road.
You weren’t exactly a rational person when you were in distress and this situation wasn’t any different. You ran to a nearby twenty four hour convenience store and bought a whole case of beer and sat on the small patio outside, downing one bottle after the other in an attempt to forget the whole night. Why didn’t they say anything? How did you not notice? Will this change our whole friendship?
You were a little over halfway through the case and you could very faintly see the sky start to lighten. Your head was impossibly heavy and you watched the flickering street lamps as you laid your head down on your folded arms. Just as your eyelids started fluttering shut, you could see two figures running towards you in the distance. You couldn’t explain it as you started to lose consciousness, but your heart suddenly felt… warm.
- - - - - - - - - -
“I feel like such an idiot.”
“This isn’t your fault, Sungie.”
“We should have told her! That or…”
“Or what, Sung? Do you wish we never did this in the first place? Just kept it to ourselves and acted like nothing was going on?”
“Dammit, you know that’s not what I mean, Minnie…” 
“I know you love her… I love her just as much… but I love you too, Sungie. She might be pissed, but I know she wants us to be happy. It might take her a while, but I know everything will be okay.”
“Okay…”
You started to rouse back to the land of the living as you heard hushed whispers around you. You felt the softness and familiarity of your bed sheets surrounding you as you stretched out your creaking bones. You felt an overwhelming feeling of nausea and a throbbing pain course through your head, making you wince as you opened your eyes to the light filtering through your window.
Your two best friends were at your sides in an instant, Jisung holding a couple of aspirin and Minho holding a glass of water. They looked like they hadn’t gotten an ounce of sleep and you immediately felt guilty for your reaction the previous night. You silently accepted their offerings and downed the pills and the whole glass of water.
The room was silent as you looked down at your empty glass, watching the remaining rivulets of water drip down to the base of the glass. With everything that was running through your head, you decided that only one thing really mattered. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked the pair in a meek voice without looking up. Jisung took your right hand into both of his own and brought it to his lips.
“I’m so sorry, baby girl. So so so sorry.” You looked up at him when you heard his trembling voice and found tears streaming down his full cheeks. “I wanted to, I really did! God, I’m such a fucking coward… I was so afraid… I was so afraid you would hate me…”
“Han Jisung.” You said with a stern voice as you brought your hand up to his face to wipe away a tear. “There is nothing, absolutely nothing, you could do to make me hate you.” His lip trembled as he buried his face in your shoulder and you felt Minho link his fingers into your other hand.
“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, kitten. Truly. We never wanted to hurt you.” He also placed a kiss on your knuckles and your heart fluttered. Your love for these boys was unconditional and their happiness was your happiness.
“We all had an agreement to not keep anything from each other, no matter what. And with this… I guess I felt like I was being excluded. I guess I just wasn’t ready to lose you two just yet…”
Jisung whipped his head up from your shoulder. “W-what do you mean lose us?!” They both wore perplexed and concerned expressions.
“Well… I-I assumed… I mean surely you two would prefer to live together without having me around to–”
“Shut your fucking mouth right this instant.” You looked flabbergasted at Minho’s blatant outburst. “The only way that is happening is if you don’t want to be around. Neither one of us even considered for a single second of leaving you. Don’t be ridiculous, bonehead.”
Jisung shoved the older boy. “What Minho is meaning to say is–” he glared lightly at the brunette. “Is that the three of us are one. None of us would be complete without another. All we wish is that this won’t be weird to the point where…” You saw his lip quiver a little. “...where you won’t want to be around us anymore…”
You pulled the ravenette in for a tight hug and ran your fingers through his hair. “You silly boy…” You whispered as you felt Minho run his hand up and down your back. “There is nowhere I would rather be than right here with you two… I’m really happy for you two. I’m happy that you guys are happy.”
You were startled out of your skin when Minho decided to tackle the two of you back onto the bed and squeeze the life out of you. “Where’s Minho and what have you done with him?” You squeaked out as best you could under his crushing form. 
“What? Am I undeserving of some love too?” He morphed his face into one of the cutest displays of pouts that you’d ever seen and you belted out an airy laugh. You pulled them both close and left crushing kisses to each of their cheeks. You were surprised that they both returned kisses to each of your cheeks as well, squishing your face between their lips and making you break out into a fit of giggles.
Once you broke free, you gazed at them in awe. They were both hovering over you with huge smiles on their faces and they looked at you as if you had hung the moon. Your heart swelled for them however, you couldn’t help but notice the slight pang of jealousy you felt. You wished you could find someone to love you like that as well.
- - - - - - - - - -
Things were surprisingly normal after that. Too normal. The three of you did almost everything together like usual and they never made you feel like the odd man out. It was almost concerning how nothing really changed. It even seemed like they were more lovey-dovey with you than they were even with each other (and that means a lot coming from Minho).
It was a normal Saturday afternoon and you were getting ready for an actual date this time. You had wrangled the two into your bedroom so they could give you input on what to wear and Minho was not having it.
“Why the fuck should you try to make yourself look good for some asshat that is only trying to bone you?” Minho groaned as he leaned back on his hands from where he was perched at the edge of your bed and Jisung laid on his stomach next to him.
“He’s not an asshat, Min. It’s Hyunjin from trig, you know he’s a sweetheart!”
“That’s even worse! Any guy that looks like that would have so many notches on his bedpost that even one tiny thrust will send it to the dump!”
You rolled your eyes and turned back to your closet to pull out the next option. “Why are you so desperate to date anyway? You already have us!” You turned back to Jisung with an unamused face just to be met with a smug look in return. You pulled out a dark blue a-line dress with a deep v-neck that cinched down to your waist and held it up to yourself in the mirror.
“Because maybe I actually want to get laid. And maybe I am tired of being the only single one in this house.” You smiled to yourself in the mirror, expecting to hear some form of a retort from one of the boys behind you. When all you heard was silence, you turned to them with a quizzical look. “What?” You questioned Jisung’s shy fiddling and Minho’s intense glare.
“Are we not trying hard enough for you already?” Minho snapped, making you freeze in shock.
“Min-“
“No, Sung.” Minho cut Jisung off before he could say anything. “We have tried so goddamned hard to make you feel like nothing has changed. Do you know how hard it is to keep my hands off of my own boyfriend? It sucks. But I’m doing it for YOU. Because we love you. Yet here you are, trying to make us feel bad for leaving you out!”
“Min, I never said—“ You felt anger rise in your throat.
“And that’s another thing—!” He stood to square up to your defensive frame, to which you were much less intimidating when he was the one towering over you now. “You never once said you were feeling left out. We include you in everything. And we’ve never had a problem with it because you are already a part of this relationship! The only difference is the sex! I don’t give two flying fucks if you want to date, just don’t drag me and Sungie’s relationship into your own insecurities!”
Before you could say anything, Minho turned on his heel, leaving you and Jisung and slamming his bedroom door behind him. “What the actual fuck was that?!” You turned towards the ravenette, throwing the dress down on the bed. You sat down next to Jisung and crossed your arms. What a fucking child.
He just gave you a sad smile. “I’m sorry, love. I think he’s just a little on edge…” He looked down at his thumbnail as he picked at it.
“Well can you go fuck it out of him or something? He’s not making any goddamn sense!” He just chuckled at you and stood up, coming over to pull you in for an unexpected hug.
“I’m sorry if we made you feel left out, honey.” He pulled back to look you in the eyes, your shoulders never leaving his grasp. “He meant what he said though… you are just as much a part of our relationship as we are. There is nothing we would exclude you from… nothing.” The glint in his eye gave you shivers and your brain glitched when he leaned in to give you a long, lingering kiss on the cheek. Right on the edge of your lips.
Without another word, he stepped out of the room and left you with a million questions swirling around in your head.
- - - - - - - - - -
“Fuck…” You buried your face in your hands in front of the sink of the club’s restroom you were at with Hyunjin. You looked back up at your flushed face in the mirror and cursed yourself for being so neurotic. Hyunjin had been a perfect gentleman, treating you with care and respectful hands even when you were trying to grind up against him like a thot on the dance floor. There was no reason you shouldn’t be 100% invested in your date. But that motherfucking Minho…
The bastard’s words still got under your skin. It’s not like you had asked them to refrain from acting like boyfriends. You had made it perfectly clear on several accounts that you were happy for their relationship. More than happy really. So why did he go off on you like that? And why did they insist on making it a point that they considered you a part of the relationship? Yeah you three were closer than anything in the world, but surely they didn’t mean they had wanted to include you romantically… right?
You looked down at the same blue dress you had picked out earlier that day and started to fiddle with the hem of it. It really was a sexy dress but… when you put it on, all you really wanted was for the boys to appreciate your look before you went out. Instead, you only received a ‘have fun’ from Jisung and complete silence and a sour attitude from Minho. Hyunjin of course said you looked amazing, but for some reason the compliment didn’t really seem as gratifying coming from his mouth. 
You hated to admit it, but you just weren’t satisfied with Hyunjin. He was gorgeous, sweet, funny, and a phenomenal kisser, but everyone seemed to pale in comparison to your two best friends. Of course you couldn’t really judge how they were in bed, but you knew them on legitimately every other level known to man. 
That doesn’t mean you haven’t imagined what it would be like to sleep with one of them. I mean, hell, going through horny teenage years and even hornier adulthood brought many thoughts to your head. You had seen them both almost completely naked, they walked around in nothing but their boxers all the time, so you had plenty of content to conjure up different images. Even after they got together you couldn’t help but find the idea of them fucking in the other room kind of hot…
You started to feel warmth pool in the base of your stomach and when you looked back up at your face, you were beet red. Now that those images were brought to the forefront of your mind, that was ALL you could think about. “Well shit…” You already knew this was a failed date. Sure, you could try to go home with Hyunjin and have him fuck your horniness away, but you didn’t want to hurt the poor man, especially after being so sweet to you all night. Also, you would eventually have to head back home and be tormented all over again.
You resigned yourself to cutting your date short by giving the generic ‘I’m not feeling well’ bullshit excuse and you felt horrible when you saw the look on Hyunjin’s face. But you told yourself that it is better to do it now than for him to catch feelings and break it off later. It really was a shame, in another world, he would have been the perfect man.
When you walked up to the door, you could only hope that they weren’t fucking on the couch again. You braced yourself as you rounded the corner to the living room and breathed out a sigh of relief when you saw the two men snuggling on the couch watching a movie. Jisung immediately popped his head up when he saw you walk in.
“Hey! What are you doing home so early, babe?” 
Minho snickered. “I was probably right about Hwang.” He said, crossing his arms across his chest. “Probably just wanted a quick fuck.”
“For your information, MeanHoe, he was a perfect gentleman. Not that you would know what that means.” You rolled your eyes and started to head for your bedroom door.
“Then what happened? Bad breath? Poor table manners? Tic-tac dick?” You huffed and turned your back to Minho.
“No, Min. None of that. He was fine.” You hoped they didn’t catch the small hitch in your voice. When your hand landed on the doorknob, you heard Jisung’s small voice.
“What’s the matter, sweetie?” Of course he would notice. You felt a weird emotion spring up in your throat at the endearment and swallowed it back as best as you could.
Well obviously you couldn’t tell them that you kept comparing Hyunjin to them. Minho’s ego would fly through the roof and it would probably make Jisung feel uncomfortable. So you resigned yourself to try and keep brushing off the issue. “It’s nothing, Ji. Goodnight.” You rushed past the threshold to your room to avoid any further discussion and slumped against the closed door.
You surprised yourself when you felt a tear fall from your face and you quickly wiped away the evidence. Why were you crying? You are supposed to be happy for them, not envious of their relationship. However, once one tear fell, the others started breaking free along with it and there was no stopping them. You slumped down on the edge of your bed and held your head in your hands, silently sobbing. You could only hope to ever find someone to love you like they do, but even they couldn’t provide you the kind of love you needed. You felt like you would never find anyone that would be able to compare to them.
You almost wished that you had never– “Y/N?” You heard a faint knock on your door and cursed Jisung for being so caring. You stayed silent in hopes that he would think you were sleeping and turn away, but you should have known that wouldn’t stop Minho. 
The door immediately whipped open and Minho stepped into the room with purpose and anger, flicking on the light in his path. The two of them, however, completely froze in the doorway when they saw you were crying. “Oh kitten…” Minho’s face instantly fell when he looked at you and he knelt down in front of you from where you were seated, making even more tears fall. “I’m so sorry, sweetie… I know I’ve been an ass today…”
You hiccupped back a sob as Minho took your hands in his and Jisung hurried over to wrap his arms around you. “I-it’s not you, Min…” You sniffled.
“Talk to us, baby. What’s the matter?” Jisung’s voice was soothing as he tucked your hair behind your ear and massaged the base of your neck.
You shook your head and hung your head low, your hands still ensnared in Minho’s grasp. He released one of your hands so he could rub his own up and down your thigh lovingly. “Kitten, you know I’m not good at this whole comforting thing, so you’re going to have to help me out here…” His touch left searing heat on your thigh and you squirmed under the combined touch of his and Jisung’s ministrations on your body.
“It’s just…” You fiddled with Minho’s hand as you tried to find a way to express what you wanted to say. “It’s just hard to find the right guy when I know I won’t find anyone near as great as you two…” You timidly watched as the two men looked at each other with wide eyes and then back at you. “I-I know that sounds weird! B-but I don’t mean it like–”
“Shhh, it’s okay, love. We get it.” Jisung cupped your cheek with his free hand and wiped away another couple of tears that had escaped. “We understand more than you realize.” Jisung leaned in and delicately placed a warm, wet kiss on your jaw, making you shiver.
Minho changed the course of his hand to start lightly rubbing circles on your upper thigh. A dangerous feeling started building in your nether regions and you started to get anxious. “I would never be able to imagine my life without you and Sungie either…” Minho let his lips linger on your knuckles and your breath hitched.
Fuck. They both looked up at you with intense eyes because of course they noticed. “We told you, you are just as much a part of this relationship as we are, kitten. Whatever you need… we can provide…” Minho tentatively moved his wandering hand closer to your inner thigh and Jisung placed another kiss on your neck this time. “Only if you want it though…”
They were being cautious, you could tell, but they made their intentions very clear. If you wanted it, you could have them. You should have been freaked out. Should have asked your best friends what the fuck they were thinking and that you weren’t into whatever polyamorous relationship they were conjuring up in their minds. And normally that would be true… for anyone other than these two…
You were soaking in your panties and you couldn’t deny it. The thought of having a relationship with not only one, but both of your best friends should have made you run for the hills, but instead, it felt like the most logical thing in this world. You figured it only made sense with how much you all loved each other. And now, with everything that had transpired, you couldn’t imagine being with anyone but these two.
Your breathing started getting heavier and your eyes fluttered when you felt Jisung’s tongue flick out over your pulse. “I… I can’t let myself get in between you two…” You already sounded completely fucked out.
“Who said anything about getting in between us? We love you equally just as much.” Jisung whispered against your neck, his breath sending chills down your spine.
“Unless you mean physically, then we definitely don’t mind you being in between us.” Minho muttered as he kissed your kneecap and subtly brushed his fingertips underneath the hem of your dress. You visibly shivered and Minho chuckled, lightly scraping his nails over your goosebumps. “You don’t exactly seem to be opposed to it, kitten…” He looked up at you with blown out pupils and a ravenous expression that made your ears burn.
Jisung whispered again. “All you need to do is ask and we will do anything for you.” He slightly pushed aside your strap and bit your shoulder. You could feel both of them smile against your skin when you whimpered at the feeling. Minho pushed your dress up a tiny bit further.
“What do you want, kitten?” He placed a kiss on your inner thigh and you knew your panties were ruined. Fuck.
“I… I…” Your head was in a fog and the two pulled their heads back from where they were torturing your flesh and they waited for your words with bated breath. You had no doubt that you were incredibly attracted to these men and you were their life companion, but something kept nagging you in the back of the head. You thought of your lives together and how you had watched them grow into these forces of nature and you didn’t know what this would mean if it went on from here. “I don’t want to just be fuck buddies…”
You instantly regretted your words when Minho sprung up from where he knelt in front of you and grabbed your face with both hands. “You really are a stupid little girl.” He growled. “We want all of the strings, Y/N. We want you to be our girl and our girl only. Go on dates with us. Make love to us or let us fuck you senseless. Be everything you already are to us, but more.” He glared at you for a moment more before his face softened. “We love you, baby…”
You felt a tear fall just before you crashed your lips to his. It should have felt weird kissing one of your best friends, but it wasn’t. It felt as natural as breathing and Minho reciprocated it just the same. You could feel him start to get hungry as he slipped his tongue in your mouth and fought for dominance (ever the control freak) and you gladly let him in. Turns out the man is an amazing kisser and when you turned to meet with Jisung, he was just as talented. Hyunjin couldn’t hold a candle to these two, but you might just be a tad bit biased.
As you and Jisung were clashing tongues, you could feel Minho step one leg in between yours and bend down to lick and suck on your neck, hands roaming down your waist and hips. Jisung was caressing your inner thigh and started sliding up under the hem of your dress. You whined when he stopped just at the edge of your panties as if he was waiting for permission. “J-Ji…” You huffed against his lips. “Touch me…”
That was all he needed to start circling his fingers over your panties right on top of your clit. You threw your head back in ecstacy, giving Minho more access to attack your neck. “Baby girl…” Jisung stared at you in awe as he fully lowered one of your straps with his unoccupied hand, revealing one of your breasts to him. “God, you’re perfect…” He breathed against your nipple before he sucked it in his mouth hard. You belted out a cry as he rolled the tip of it in between his teeth. Your voice cracked as you whined when Jisung retreated his hand from your clit until you felt Minho get back on his knees in front of you, spreading your legs open for him and bunching your dress up to your waist.
“Holy FUCK, Sungie, come look at this beauty…” The ravenette released your swollen nipple and both of the boys gazed at your pussy in awe. “Her cunt is practically dripping for us!” You got extremely annoyed when they wouldn’t stop ogling.
“Are you two going to just stare all day or are you going to actually do something about it?” You growled and both of the boys fixed their blown out eyes onto yours.
“Just savoring our fantasies, gorgeous. Trust us, we want nothing more than to satisfy your every need.” Minho gave you another one of his annoying little smirks. They fantasized about you? You didn’t have much time to ruminate on that fact because Minho suddenly dipped his finger into your sopping entrance from the side of your lacy underwear. Your hands grasped onto Jisung’s arm for dear life as your body went rigid.
Apparently Minho had lost his patience because he practically ripped your panties off of you and buried his face in your crotch like a man starved. He latched onto your clit and sucked while his skilled tongue flicked over it with desperate movements. Jisung returned to your mouth while one of his hands lowered your other strap and started alternating between your breasts, pinching and twisting your nipples while the other was buried in your hair, giving intermittent little tugs.
You moaned into his mouth and he sucked on your tongue. The overwhelming stimulation of the two quickly brought you over the edge and it surprised all three of you when you came with a loud cry. “Shit, Min. I knew your tongue was magic but, damn. Look how fucked out she already is!” Jisung brushed your hair back off your face with a satisfied smile. You had slumped back onto your elbows on the bed and you were breathing hard.
“Off. Clothes off. Now.” You had lost the ability to form full sentences and the boys stripped faster than you knew was possible, their erections fully prominent through their boxers. They helped rid you of your dress, leaving you completely naked as they scooted you up further onto the bed. Jisung sat behind you as he pulled you to his chest and Minho hovered over you with a dangerous look in his eyes.
His hand slid up your leg again, but wasted no time in dipping two fingers into your clenching pussy. You mewled at the stretch and laid your head back against the soft skin of Jisung’s shoulder. “Fuck, you’re so tight, kitten. I hope you can take us.” You could only hum in response to Minho as he stretched you with his fingers. When he leaned in, you figured he was going to kiss you, but the two men ended up making out over your shoulder while Minho was finger fucking you and Jisung dropped his hand down to circle his fingers around your clit.
They were an enigma. You couldn’t stop staring at the erotic display of these two gorgeous men intertwining tongues while pleasuring you. You couldn’t believe you were rising to orgasm again just watching them. “Oh god, that’s so fucking hot…” You couldn’t control the sudden confession from your mouth. Jisung side eyed you when your breathing picked up and smirked at the sight of you watching them.
He turned away from Minho to whisper in your ear. “Correct me if I’m wrong, angel. But have you fantasized about Minnie and I fucking before?” You had never heard Jisung sound so seductive before and it made your face burn in embarrassment.
Minho plastered his signature shit-eating grin on his face and leaned into your other ear, still languidly pumping his fingers into your sweet spot. “I think this angel has a little bit of a devil in her, Sungie.” He abruptly shoved a third finger in you deep, making you yelp in response. “Do you get off thinking about us, baby?” You couldn’t answer, you could only squeeze your eyes shut, suddenly bashful. Minho would have none of that though as he grabbed your jaw with his free hand and made you look at him. “Answer me, brat.”
You timidly nodded your head and you could feel your entire face light on fire. The smug smile on Minho’s face did nothing to soothe your embarrassment. You felt the grip on your jaw tighten, prying your mouth open as he removed his fingers from your cunt. You whined as you clenched around nothing, but Minho held his dripping fingers right up against your bottom lip.
“Suck.” He pushed his fingers past your lips and you sucked on them hungrily, tasting yourself. You twirled your tongue around and in between them, locking eyes with him and trying to give him the illusion that it was him you were sucking off. “Shit… You’re fucking unreal , kitten.”
Jisung was attacking your neck and had never left your clit since he started. “You gonna let Minnie fuck that tight little pussy of yours, baby girl?” Jisung whispered as he bit your earlobe.
“Oh god, please.” You groaned.
“As you wish, kitten.” He stood up and shucked off his boxers and HOLY FUCK was he for real? That had probably been the most beautiful dick you had ever seen and it must have shown on your face because that cocky ass smile formed on his lips. “You got a rubber, sweetheart?”
“No need, I’m clean and on birth control. Now get the fuck over here.” You squealed when Jisung pinched your clit. You fluttered your eyes in ecstasy up at Minho. “Come paint my insides, Min.” The two men groaned at the same time and the brunette basically tackled the both of you, alternating between both of your mouths and grabbing you by the legs.
You started to feel Jisung rub his erection against your back and you grinded against him, making his breath hitch. Minho grabbed Jisungs ass and dragged the two of you forward so you were leaning further back against Jisung. “This might hurt a bit, kitten.” You involuntarily started pushing your hips forward in a desperate attempt to get his cock into you as soon as humanly possible. Jisung held down your hips though when Minho dragged his burning hot tip against you, teasing your clit and entrance as if he had all the time in the world. And maybe you did, but that didn’t mean your patience was any less thin. “I swear to fucking god, Minho. If you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to–!”
Your breath was kicked from your lungs as soon as he slammed his hips into you, fully sheathed balls deep and crushing your cervix. “Holy fucking hell, kitten… Why the FUCK have you kept this tight, wet, perfection away from us for so long?!” Minho almost looked like he was in pain from the amount of pleasure he was in. “Sungie, I can’t wait for you to feel her… she’s so goddamned perfect…” Minho groaned loudly, but stayed still inside you, allowing you to get used to the stretch.
You were choking on your own gasps and you felt like you had been punched in the gut. Your voice was shaky as you squeaked out a small “Minnie…” and he smiled down at you with heart eyes. He leaned in to lock his lips with yours in a long, sensual kiss. You felt all the love he rarely portrayed with words pour out into his kiss and you felt Jisung kiss the side of your neck while rubbing small, soothing circles into your lower stomach.
Once the pain started to subside, you started to roll your hips into him, hopefully giving him the hint that you were ready to be fucked into the mattress. Or really, fucked into Jisung’s chest. Thankfully, the message was received and he started languidly rocking his erection in and out shallowly.
“F-Fuu–” You threw your head back again as Jisung’s lips replaced Minho’s. As Minho started moving faster, your kisses grew hungrier. You sucked and bit Jisung’s lips like you wanted to eat him and, if you were being honest, you did. “Ji… let me taste you.” You sighed the words against his lips and he wasted no time sliding himself out from beneath you and propping up on his knees beside you, palming his clothed erection.
“You’re sure, baby girl?”
“Please, JiJi!” You wanted nothing more than to make these men feel good. For once, you weren’t worried about your own pleasure, your sole purpose at that moment was to please them. When he whipped out his dick, you salivated. WHY THE FUCK ARE THESE MEN’S DICKS SO PRETTY?! You raised a hand up and tentatively wrapped your hand around the smooth skin, feeling the extraordinary heat radiating off of him.
You gazed up at him as you licked him from base to tip and you could see his eyes roll into the back of his head. You swirled your tongue around the tip and then wrapped your lips around him, you were always more than confident in your head game as you swallowed around him deeper. “Sh-shit, baby. Keep that up and you’re going to finish me off before I can even fuck Minnie’s cum back into you.”
Those words immediately brought you back to the unbearable pleasure that Minho was treating you to. You looked over to him while you tongued Jisung’s slit and he had burning desire written in his eyes as he watched you suck Jisung’s cock. He abruptly wrapped his fingers around the back of your knees with bruising force and raised them to your chest, folding you in half. Your screams were muffled by Jisung’s dick as Minho rammed directly into your sensitive bundle of nerves at the top of your walls and pumped into you at a blinding pace.
The sounds of both of your best friends moaning from the pleasure you were giving them combined with the slapping and squelching of Minho nailing your sweet spot sent you tumbling over the edge. You screamed on Jisung’s cock as you drenched Minho with your orgasm, making his hips stutter. Your clenching walls pulled him into a vice grip and you felt him cum so hard you could almost taste it.
The sight of Minho climaxing was one of the most beautiful things you had ever seen, there was no describing it. You milked each other through your orgasms and Jisung pulled himself away from you. “Sung, you have to feel her. It’s fucking revolutionary!” You chuckled at his out of breath response as he removed himself from between your legs, Jisung replacing him.
Unlike Minho, Jisung was gentle and loving. He entered you slowly and the stretch was once again absolutely euphoric. He had an awestruck look in his eyes as he felt your slick walls and he had the same pleasure-pained look on his face that Minho had. His eyes peered into your soul as he caressed the side of your face and his face lit up with a contagious smile. “I love you so much, baby girl.” He pressed his lips to yours in a slow, beautiful kiss, tongues intertwining in a passionate dance.
Minho, who had flopped down next to you on the bed trying to catch his breath, had propped himself up on his elbow and started caressing Jisung’s back. “I’ll be right back, love.” Jisung just hummed in response into your mouth and you could hear Minho shimmy off the bed and shuffle out of the room.
Jisung pulled away from the kiss and caressed your cheek again, running his thumb over your lips as he lazily pumped into you. “Is this okay, baby? I know it probably seems weird to you–”
“Shhh…” You whispered and nuzzled into his hand. “Nothing could be more perfect than where I am right now.” You smiled up at him and he buried his face into your neck with a small kiss.
“I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too, Hanji…” You opened your eyes when you felt a small kiss on your cheek.
“And I guess I love both of you.” Minho said against your skin when he returned in the same state as he left.
“Wow, what an honor. *ngh* I guess I love you too, Min.” You joked, but the power of Jisung’s thrusts strengthened. You gasped at the intensity, even though he was still going at a leisurely pace, he was ramming into your already bruised cervix. “SHIT, JI!” You squeaked out through clenched teeth. He raised his head up to look at you with a mischievous grin.
Somewhere in the background you heard a snap of a cap and before Jisung could respond to you, he was suddenly gasping loudly on top of you. “HOLY FUCK, Min! You can’t blindside me like that!” Jisung looked over his shoulder at the older man behind him that had an evil sneer.
“Sorry. Not sorry, Sung. Your ass is just all too tempting. ESPECIALLY when I can see it clench as you fuck our little kitten.” Minho had apparently made the trek to his room to go claim a bottle of lube because when you peered over Jisung’s shoulder, Minho had a finger buried in his ass and was stretching him open. You were mesmerized by the expressions on Jisung’s face.
He started whimpering and dropped his head to your shoulder. “Nuh uh.” You grabbed his head and raised it again, a pained expression on his face. “I want to see your face when Minnie and I wreck you.” You could hear Minho hiss through his teeth behind Jisung and he was suddenly thrusted forward, making him gasp and, in turn, making you gasp from your shared stimulation.
Minho chuckled. “Holy fucking shit, this is going to be fun. I get to control both of you just with one–” He pushed his fingers harshly into Jisung again and you both whined. “–push.” He continued with that torture and you could tell he was adding more fingers due to the pained expression of the man above you. “You okay, babe?” Minho’s free hand drew comforting circles on Jisung’s hip and you felt butterflies in your stomach from Minho’s rare tenderness.
“Yes. Please, Min. Fuck her through me… We need you…” Jisung’s breath was heavy as he gasped out the provocative words. Minho’s eyes turned dark and that was all he needed to slam his dick into Jisung’s ass, making all three of you cry in pleasure. The three of you were still for a moment while Jisung got comfortable with the stretch and you mewled at the feeling of his dick twitching inside of you. You clenched around him and he whined. “OH GOD, don’t do that to me, baby girl. Don’t want to finish me off before we’ve even started!”
Minho chuckled behind him, knowing exactly what you were doing to him and he started slowly pulling back before pumping both of you back and forth at a steady pace. There were whines, gasps, and moans alternating between the three of you, but Minho seemed particularly ravenous. Grunting, hissing, and growling as he started to build his pace.
Jisung bent his head down and continued moaning while latching onto your nipple. You promptly tangled your fingers in his hair with one hand and the other intertwined fingers with Minho’s hand that had been gripping onto Jisung’s waist. He looked down at you with a tender smile and squeezed your hand as he repositioned his posture.
Jisung abruptly jolted forward with a cry, releasing your nipple and biting onto your shoulder, making you whine as well. Minho smiled down to where he was connected with Jisung. “You like that, babe?”
“FUCK YES! GOD, Minnie! Please! R-right there! Don’t stop!” Jisung sounded desperate and you could feel it in the way he was see-sawing between you and Minho. It was so damned erotic and you could feel another high approaching.
“Harder! Please!” You threw your head back as both of the men’s paces increased along with their power.
“How does Sungie feel, kitten?”
“Fucking DELICIOUS.” You whimpered and Jisung took the liberty of licking all the way up your outstretched neck, ending his journey by slipping his tongue into your mouth with a heated kiss. One of his hands grasped onto the back of your neck for dear life and the other intertwined fingers with you above your head so that each of your hands were locked with both of your boys.
Minho’s grunts became more choppy and Jisung was whimpering with every thrust and you LOST IT. Your third orgasm came so hard that you would be seeing stars for weeks. Your clenching and all-encompassing flooding around Jisung’s dick pushed him over the edge as well as his hips stuttered and you felt warmth, once again, squirting and mixing in with Minho’s seed.
“SHIT FUCK–” Jisung seemed to have been clenching as well because Minho’s loud cursing and stuttering of his slapping hips indicated his second release of the night. Jisung’s eyes rolled into the back of his head at the feeling and he collapsed on top of you. Minho then promptly collapsed on top of him and you could feel Jisung’s dick slowly slide out of you along with a sea of cum.
You grunted with the combined weight of the men on top of you and you released both of their hands, instead slapping their shoulders. “Guys–” You wheezed. “Get your heavy asses off of me! I’m suffocating!”
Minho was the first to roll off and lay on his side next to you. “Psh. Says the lumberjack.” You slapped him on the pec with the back of your hand halfheartedly and he guffawed.
When Jisung rolled off to lay on your other side, you looked over to see a sleepy smile. You cupped his cheek and kissed him tenderly and then turned to the other side and did the same with Minho. “I can definitely say that you guys have grown in more ways than one.” You chuckled with heavy breathing, the two of them joining you.
Jisung took a fistful of your boob and squeezed. “I could say the same about you. I’ve been wanting to get ahold of these babies for ages.” That brought an important thought to the forefront of your mind.
You quickly sat up and turned around to face them, startling both of them with concerned faces. “Yeah! What the hell is that about? How long have you guys wanted this fucking ‘menage a trois’ to be a thing?”
Jisung just blushed and Minho just looked amused at his boyfriend’s flustered state. “Since high school.” Minho said this so nonchalantly, you thought it had to be some kind of joke.
“I’m serious, Min! How long?”
“I’m serious, kitten. Since high school. We only really admitted it to each other once Sungie and I started dating. That’s when we knew that we wouldn’t feel complete without you being with us too.” Minho rolled over on his side to face you and thumbed your mouth. “I just can’t believe it took your leadass brain so long to realize.”
You half-chuckled in disbelief and the action ended up slightly pushing all three of your combined fluids out of your crotch. Your eyes widened and you clenched your thighs together. “I’m pretty sure I am ruining my bedsheets right now…” 
“Babe, I think they were ruined from the start.” Jisung laughed and both of them looked at each other with mischievous eyes. They took each of your legs and pried them apart, admiring their work. “Fuck, that’s so hot. No wonder Min likes to watch me when he finishes.”
You blushed hardcore and swiftly sat up, ripping their hands from the vice grip on your thighs. Once you stood up and turned back to them, you outstretched a hand to both of them. “Wanna take a shower?” 
You had never seen the boys move so fast. They took your hands to hop out of bed. Jisung quickly rushed to the bathroom while Minho bent down to throw you over his shoulder, promptly smacking your ass hard once you were manhandled into position. You screeched and he just laughed at you menacingly.
“God, your ass his so fucking spankable.” 
“You have a problem, sir.”
“Oh? Sir? I like that, kitten.” Once he sat you on your feet in the bathroom, he whispered in your ear. “Maybe I should make you call me that from now on, yeah?”
You rolled your eyes and pushed past him. “I’d bet my ass to get you to try and ‘make’ me do anything.” You stepped into the shower with Jisung and felt automatically drawn to the huge smile on his face. “Hi JiJi…” You kissed him tenderly as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
He kissed you back gently and lovingly as he caressed your sides and hips, tongues slowly dancing with each other. When he broke the kiss, he abruptly spun you around to wrap his arms around you in a back hug. You found yourself facing Minho’s sudsy body and a shit-eating grin. Well fuck.
“You really shouldn’t have said that, kitten.” He stepped towards you and you felt something turn in your core. “How about we clean you out properly?” You whimpered when he bent down to lick a stripe up your throbbing and dripping folds and then gently pressed a finger into your entrance.
You couldn’t help but to gasp and throw your head back against Jisung’s shoulder, causing him to start placing open mouthed kisses up and down your neck and shoulder, sucking on the already bruising hickeys that were left there.
Your body instinctively squirmed from the pleasure-pain Minho was inducing down below and Jisung’s ministrations up above on your already sensitive areas. Jisung firmly grasped your hips and pressed you up against his erection causing a moan to slip out of your mouth. “You like that baby girl? Is Minnie making you feel good?” You nodded frantically at Jisung’s whispered words and that only made Minho suck even harder on your swollen clit.
You cried out when you felt one of Minho’s slick fingers circle around the rim of your asshole. “M-Minnie… what–?”
“You think you can take us both, kitten?” You gasped when you felt him breach your rim and slowly enter.
“I-I…” You couldn’t control your clenching.
“Relax, sweetheart. We don’t have to if you don’t want it.” Jisung kissed your cheek sweetly and rubbed soothing circles on your hips with his thumbs.
You peered down at Minho that was looking up at you in anticipation. Fuck it. “Okay, Min. Just… take it slow…” He smiled at you and latched onto your clit again, eating you out with determined purpose as he slowly got you used to the unfamiliar feeling of his finger pumping in and out of your sphincter.
You had done anal once before but the dude was super rough and it hurt like hell. Needless to say, you dropped that motherfucker real quick. Minho was patient and comforting, making sure you were comfortable and checking when you were ready for more. You barely felt any discomfort at all, especially with the delicious sensation he was providing to your bliss button. Not to mention Jisung’s ministrations on your neck and nipples.
“Ah, FUCK. Keep doing that Minnie! Don’t stop!” He was flicking and circling your clit with his skilled tongue and your knees started getting weak, all the while stretching you wide open. When he pulled away you cried out. “NO! No no no, PLEASE Minnie!”
He just chuckled and stood up to press his body against yours, removing his fingers and wiping them on his still soapy body. “Now now, sweetheart. We don’t want to ruin the main course now, do we?” 
You attacked him. You pushed him against the wall and started devouring his lips, biting, sucking, and licking anything and everything you could get your mouth on and he responded eagerly. You lifted your leg onto his hip and frantically guided his painfully hard erection to your entrance, sheathing yourself and whimpering at the euphoric feeling. He moaned into the kiss and fully lifted you, sitting you on his cock and presenting your ass for Jisung to line up with. You tensed when you felt his tip touch your rim and, without a shadow of doubt, they noticed.
Minho’s kisses started to get less hungry and more loving, rubbing soothing circles on your thighs with his thumbs from where he was holding you up. Jisung was gently circling the outside of your hole to get you to relax and spread his precum around your entrance. He sweetly kissed your shoulder, shushing you to calmness.
Minho started slowly grinding in you and the pleasure outmassed the discomfort of Jisung slowly stretching you with his dick. “O-oh GOD…” Jisung’s breathy moan sent butterflies through your stomach and they both stilled for a moment so you could get acclimated to the feeling once the boy behind you was fully sheathed.
“F-fuck… S-so f-full…” You choked out.
“Shhh, you’re doing so well, baby girl.” Jisung kissed your sweaty temple.
“Such a good girl. Letting us fill up all of her tight little holes. Just breathe and relax for me kitten, okay?” You didn’t even realize you were holding your breath until Minho pointed it out. You gulped up the much needed oxygen and closed your eyes, trying to focus on the euphoric sensation that Jisung had started administering to your clit.
Both of the boys latched their lips onto each side of your neck and you moaned, finally feeling that warmth in your core again. “Y-you can move…” Once they started, you realized that you didn’t feel any pain at all. It actually started feeling quite pleasurable. Feeling the two completely filling you up put a pressure on your sensitive nerves that had you dripping with your arousal.
“Oh, Sungie. You feel amazing through her walls, babe.” They were see-sawing in between your holes to ensure that you were never left empty and you could feel your high slowly approaching again. You were groaning, sighing, and moaning so loud that you were sure the neighbors were concerned for your well being. 
“You like that baby girl?” Minho slammed into you and they started moving faster, the cry you belted out just seemed to egg them on further.
Jisung brought three of his fingers to your mouth and pawed at your lips. “I think she needs more holes filled. What do you think, Minnie?”
“I think that is a brilliant idea, Sung. Open up for him, will you, kitten?” You obediently opened up and enclosed your mouth on his fingers as if you were blowing him, twirling your tongue around and sucking eagerly.
“That’s a good girl.” You felt Jisung intertwine his fingers with one of the hands that Minho was using to hold your ass up and your heart swelled. You spat out Jisung’s fingers.
“Kiss each other…” You breathed out and they wasted no time in obliging. You watched as they tenderly locked lips and sweetly tangled their tongues together and it just about pushed you over the edge. You were just about hyperventilating and you rocked between their cocks faster. Your eyes fluttered at the image of the two and you buried your teeth into Minho’s shoulder as you flooded their cocks.
You screamed and clenched all of your holes and the boys grunted and hissed into each other’s mouths, shooting their white hot spunk all over your walls. You almost passed out from the feeling and the both of them braced themselves you when they felt your body go limp.
A whimper escaped your mouth when they both pulled out of you, leaving you with an excruciatingly uncomfortable empty feeling. When Minho stood you back up, your knees buckled and they both caught you before you bit the dust. “Don’t worry, baby girl. We’ve got you.” Jisung spoke in a soft voice and you melted into them as they gently cleaned your body.
They wrapped you in a fuzzy towel and Minho picked you up bridal style. Since your bed was utterly trashed now, the three of you crashed on Minho’s bed and you never realized how comfortable it was. It felt kind of weird laying naked with your two best friends, but you felt too fucked out from your multiple orgasms that you couldn’t bring yourself to give two flying fucks.
Minho wrapped around you from behind and Jisung laid facing you. “I can’t believe we actually got you to agree to this, sweet thing.” Jisung traced his fingers around your face with a feather-light touch. His eyes glimmered with wonder and he looked totally lost in your eyes.
Minho squeezed you snug against his chest and placed a chaste kiss on your shoulder. “You’re stuck with us now, kitten.”
You scoffed as you buried your face in the crook of Jisung’s neck. “As if I wasn’t already stuck with you douchebags in the first place.” 
After a moment of silence of being caged between the two, Minho randomly chuckled before he full-on started his evil cackling. “What’s so funny?” You drearily asked, starting to feel the weight of the day on your mind and body.
He slithered his hand down to your ass cheek and groped it firmly. “You said you’d bet your ass. I’m pretty sure double penetration qualifies as me ‘making’ you do something.” He swiftly smacked your ass and you jolted in place. “This gorgeous ass is mine now.”
“No fair! I deserve it too!” Jisung grabbed your other cheek.
“That doesn’t count! I allowed that to happen, you weasel!” You protested, but you didn’t exactly mind the two sexy motherfuckers massaging your ass.
“Sure sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, kitten. You just need to know we own it either way.” Minho gave it a firm squeeze then relented his ministrations to firmly wrap his arm around your waist.
Jisung did the same and caressed Minho’s arm all the while. He sweetly kissed you and then Minho turned your head by your jaw to do the same. You felt so much love in that moment that you started to get emotional. “I love you guys so much… I am forever grateful to Mrs. Choi for punishing me to sit next to your weasel ass.”
Both of the men chuckled in tandem. “I am too, kitten. We love you so much.” Your eyes watered at Minho’s rare soft confession and Jisung’s agreement. “Now enough of this sappy shit, go to sleep you lumberjack.” Of fucking course, it is Lee Minho we are talking about here.
“Why am I not surprised that you could ruin such a beautiful moment?” Jisung slapped Minho’s arm and he slapped back, starting a poking and tickling fight between the two.
“Hey! Cut it out or I’m leaving you two to go sleep in my room!” They squeezed you tightly when you wiggled in their grasp and then trapped you in a vice grip.
“I’d like to see you try, kitten.” Minho’s seductive tone sent shivers down your spine and Jisung mimicked his voice.
“We’re never letting you go, baby girl.”
You sighed and snuggled in. “I guess I can’t complain about that. The feeling is mutual.”
__________________________________________
If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading! Please like, follow, and share! Thanks baby stays! 😘
2chopsticks2eyes - Masterlist
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king-zacharyy · 16 days
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IF YOU HATE HELLUVA BOSS, HAZBIN HOTEL, AND/OR STOLITZ, DO. NOT. INTERACT. (WITH THIS POST OR MY PAGE)
Okay, I am currently rewatching Helluva Boss, and I just finished S1 Ep7: OZZIE'S, and... How do some people genuinely believe Stolitz is one-sided?
From what I've seen, Blitzø absolutely returns Stolas' feelings, even if he refuses to acknowledge/accept that he does. A lot of people, from what I've seen, have been using Blitzø' words to Stolas in OZZIE'S and his words about Stolas to Fizzarolli in OOPS as arguments for why Blitzø "clearly" doesn't love Stolas back, but my question is, do some of y'all not have basic media literacy?
Sorry if that’s rude, but seriously. There are plenty of clues to how Blitzø is actually feeling during and after these scenes.
1. Blitzø was literally holding back TEARS as he said that in the van scene.
2. He says that Stolas has made it very clear that all it is is Stolas wanting to be fucked. That wording is very distinct and, honestly, says that Blitzø does NOT want it to just be a Fuck Buddies things.
2.5. May I remind everyone that Stolas literally calls Blitzø his "Impish little plaything" in Truth Seekers? And that that likely just confirmed the insecurities we know he was already feeling? (We know he was feeling insecure about his and Stolas' relationship already because of how he reacted in S1 Ep5 to Striker goading him)
3. Literally ALL of what happens after the van scene. Including all of Episode 8. He goes home and cries himself to sleep, and then goes and self-destructs at a party. Bee said it herself that he wasn't drinking to have fun.
4. In S2 Ep6: OOPS, His face when he said it was nothing more than Stolas being horny gives away how hurt he actually is. He is desperately trying to convince Fizz and remind himself that Stolas doesn't want anything more.
Honorary mention that I'm not sure is really a fifth point is him calling Fizz and Ozzie hypocrites.
Moving on from those scenes and onto Blitzø's insecurities about love and his self-worth issues. Blitzø does not believe he deserves love. He does not believe anyone does or can love him. We can see this in how he acts with the people in his life. He pushes them away. He is obsessed with M&M's relationship because they're the only model of a healthy relationship he's ever had, and he wants that with someone. We also can tell because of how he reacts to what Fizz and Verosika say in OZZIE'S.
Blitzø hates himself. He crosses out his face in the pictures hung up in his apartment. He blames himself for an accident that caused his mother's death, his best friend to lose his limbs, and his sister to hate him.
No one was truly there for him after the accident. Fizz may have been crippled, but he had a support system. Blitzø did not, and no one was there to tell him it wasn't his fault.
Not to mention the fact that up until the accident, he was CONSTANTLY being put down and told Fizzarolli was better than him. Even his own father cared more for Fizz than him. Honestly, I'm surprised there isn't any actual animosity towards Fizz on Blitzø's part.
Speaking of the fire and Fizz, Blitzø was planning to confess romantic feelings to Fizz that night before the accident (We know this because of the letter and flower he was holding before the fire started). That likely made it difficult for him to confess his love to someone because if you think his brain wouldn't connect love confessions to the greatest trauma of his life, you're dead wrong.
Brains make weird ass connections when it comes to trauma/traumatic events.
In conclusion, Blitzø loves Stolas, Stolas loves Blitzø, and they both need to heal and get their shit together. Stolitz forever.
Kloveyoubye ❤️
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runa-falls · 4 months
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scratches and bites - 4
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pairing: miguel o'hara x spider-girl!reader
cw: suggestive scenes, insecurities, a bit of cussing
wc: ~2.1k
a/n: god i am SO sorry how long this chapter has taken. i'm not the type of writer to have multiple chapters in a series done before posting them every week, i literally post chapters right when i finish them lol. thanks for sticking with me and being patient!
series masterlist | main masterlist
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Miguel is still a grumpy man, sneering at anyone who dares to get in his way, still stressed out about keeping the multiverse on track and recruiting capable Spiders to assist him, but at least you’re no longer the main culprit of his frustrations.
Well, you’ll take that back, you’re no longer the one being yelled at.
Your transgressions are dealt with in another way…
Miguel is…insatiable to say the least. Since the day he reprimanded you through very unconventional means, seven suits have fallen victim to his desperation, shredded until they slipped into a pile below you.
Before he could destroy another one, you demanded a nanotech one of your own, tired of having to wait days in between for another one to be tailored, but he refused to give you one because he’s concerned about the unstable WIFI.
Eager fingers tug at the neckline of your suit. He groans, listening to the delicious sound of his claw tearing at the fabric. Red eyes darken as he watches each thread give out to the sharp point of his claws, slowly revealing the supple skin of your throat. He only gets down to your collarbone when you suddenly move away with a huff.
“Mig! Stop.” He frowns when you pull away from his touch, confused as to why you’d reject his advances.
“Sweetheart?”
“You’re always tearing up my suits.”
He’s still confused. You’ve never complained about it before. Actually, you seem to enjoy it, flushing with desire when he uses his claws on you.
“Look, I’m done wearing the extra shirts you keep in your office, Miguel. It’s…awkward having to navigate through HQ to get home without real clothes.”
Miguel’s frown grows deeper. He loves seeing you in his shirts, watching how your smaller frame practically drowns in the fabric and brushes against the softness of your thighs. There’s a hint of domesticity in a sight like that, one that he’s longed for since losing his family. It brings out a whole new side to him and he’s stubborn to let it go.
“Plus, all the Spiders wear their suits 24/7 so it’s even weirder that I’m only in a shirt!” You don’t seem to notice how lost in thought he is, how much your words are impacting him. “...so how about getting me one of those nano-suits? That way I don’t have to worry about bothering the seamstress for the fifth time this week…”
Miguel’s hands pull you closer, cradling the back of your neck as his thumb fiddles with the small tear against your throat. “Mm…no, nanotech isn’t super reliable…” His hand drifts down and cups over one of your tits, “and I’m not letting anyone see what’s mine under here.” He squeezes gently, watching avidly as your lips part with pleasure.
“Yes, but–”
“No ‘buts,’ honey. This isn’t up for discussion. You know exactly what I’m talking about…”
It’s true, you’ve seen the risk of technologically powered nano-suits first-hand when Miguel gave the Spiders a glimpse of his impressive *cough* stature *cough* during a debriefing meeting.
Needless to say, he was the talk of the city for reasons other than being the grumpy boss…
“Okay, fine. But still…I’m serious about the suits.
That’s when you established the first ground rule of the relationship: no ripping suits unless there’s another one ready to go.
Sure, Miguel sulked about it for a week, making sure you saw his pout when he’d peel your suit off you, but he still made an effort to follow it, carefully evading the sharp tip of his claws when he’d get too eager to see what’s underneath.
You weren’t surprised when you returned to your apartment a few days later to boxes full of suits. Miguel stood there with a proud grin, fangs and claws ready, eyes glowing like rubies. You barely got in the door with your suit still intact.
You also made another rule: no touching during work hours.
You were surprised that you had to make the rule as Miguel is universally known as a strict boss, but similarly with your shredded suits, sometimes he just can’t help himself.
There were enough instances of almost being caught and having to scramble for one of his shirts (or tug on the biggest piece of suit left on the floor) because Miguel forgot to lock the door, that you had to put your foot down.
You grumble as Miguel attempts to pull you onto his lap.
“You know the rules, baby.”
His arms loop around you as you stand between his legs, “But it’s five o’clock!”
“Mm…check again.” He looks up at the holographic clock, you were right, it isn’t five. “It’s four fifty-five.” He raises a brow, unamused.
“Hm…” He yanks you against him causing you to fall over his seated figure, “Fuck it.”
“Miguel!”
Sure, being with him is hot and fun, but Miguel isn’t exactly ‘boyfriend’ material.
But it’s not like you’re any better.
Back in your dimension, you were never interested in relationships. You preferred to coast through flings and crushes rather than get emotionally involved with someone.
So this, whatever it is, is all new to you.
That being said, you had zero expectations when it came to this thing between the two of you. You’re like an eager puppy, enthusiastically taking everything he gives you and returning it tenfold. This could mean everything…or nothing.
You assume it’s been a while since Miguel has been with anyone. He’s…hesitant with you, sometimes, like he’s holding a part of himself back. Like it would be too much if he were to fully commit to you and show you what he wants deep down. There’s a constant push and pull with Miguel and it’s either very intense or barely there at all.
It’s a dynamic you’ll never get used to.
Sometimes you spend hours curled up on his lap, content with enjoying his company without a word exchanged between the two of you as he works on his computer, matching anomalies to dimensions and answering messages from different Spiders.
It’s peaceful and oddly domestic. You can almost forget about the collapsing multiverse, the worries that loom over all Spiders, and pretend it’s just you and him.
But then, there are the other times.
Moments that you’d like to forget.
Sometimes he needs space. He needs time to methodically plan out missions and brood in his office until it gets late enough that you know he isn’t coming to your apartment.
Sometimes he disappears for days, or even weeks at a time, never giving you a hint of where he’ll be, just an, “I’ll be back,” thrown over his shoulder. And then you’re left at the entrance as he shuts the door behind him, desperately waiting for him to return so you can be happy again.
You don’t know why he turns cold, and you’ll probably never find out because he doesn’t talk about his past.
It could be your fault.
You never ask.
You never push him to tell you about that little girl whose photo floats on his desktop, or the ring that sits in a drawer right beside his side of the bed.
Sometimes you wonder if you should. If that’s what you’re supposed to do in a ‘relationship’ like this. If you deserve even a crumb of vulnerability from him. But you’re too afraid to lose the fragile thing you have.
You left everything for Miguel. Without him, you’d just be a girl floating in a sea of spiders.
For some reason, you’d rather constantly be on the edge of your seat than lost without him. Because that’s how it would end. You convince yourself that the good times outweigh the bad.
Your infatuation blurs the blue waves and disperses the confusion and hurt until it barely feels like a pinch. He buries your seeds of worry with delicate kisses and numbs the creeping feeling of defeat with the heat of his touch.
With every cold shoulder comes a warm embrace, and you’ll wait weeks in the chill if it means you’ll be in his arms again.
Hobie is back, again, despite claiming to quit a couple of weeks ago. Always expect the unexpected with Hobie because consistency is not in his (very British and barely decipherable) vocabulary.
“Oi, Black-Widow, long time no see, eh?” His eye must’ve caught on to your new outfit, a custom dark-gray suit with nano-tech details. Miguel finally reimbursed you after carelessly shredding through your one and only suit.
It’s really nice, and you’re finally more recognizable with this one than the old red and blue traditional you sported before. You turn, spotting his iconic hair and piercings.
“Hobie! You’re back!” You practically jump into his arms, and he catches you easily. “Where’ve you been?”
“Ah, you know, here and there.” A cleared throat echoes through the room and he sets you down on your feet before slightly stepping away from you. Right, you’re still in his office. Whoops.
“Brown.” Miguel acknowledges Hobie, barely, despite talking directly to him. Hobie looks between the two of you, picking up on the change almost immediately. Whatever he’s thinking, he doesn’t show it.
“O’Hara.” He replies with an amused expression.
“Ready to get back to work?”
He shrugs, clearly not shaken in the slightest. “S’why I’m here, innit?”
“Good. Go report to Drew, you’ll be leaving in 20.”
“Right…” Eyes back on you. “I’ll see you later, then?”
“Yeah, we can catch up later! Be safe.”
“Will do, Spider-Woman.” You catch Hobie sending Miguel a teasing smirk as he draws away from the two of you and leaves the room. 
Freaking bugger, he’s trying to rile him up!
“I don’t like that guy.” He says it after a few seconds of silence.
You sigh, “I know.”
You turn to face him, meeting his signature scowl as he continues to glare at the door.
“With you.”
“I know.”
You’re still trying to do things your way, which, in your opinion, is the right way. And Miguel is still webbing you to any convenient surface and telling Parker to watch over you so he can get back to work.
“Not today, sweetheart.” You tug against the wisps of glowing red webs, nearly growling in your struggle. He’s clearly upgraded their strength after you’ve been able to escape and secretly tag along behind him.
“Wait, but, Miguel–!”
“This operation is especially sensitive. I can’t have you window shopping in a crumbling mall again.”
“That was one time! And we weren’t even on a mission.”
He raises an accusing brow, “Exactly.” He starts to walk away, ignoring your groaning and moaning. “Don’t forget you’re still on thin ice after you disobeyed orders last time.
“Ugh! C’mon, that was eons ago. I think I’ve proven myself.” He walks away, clicking a few buttons on his watch before a portal appears.
“Yeah, on unauthorized trips.”
“Still!”
“Brown, you ready?”
Hobie pushes off the wall he is leaning on and gives Miguel a teasing salute, “Aye-aye, sir.”
“What?! I’m stuck over here, but he gets to go?” The Brit sends you a teasing wink.
“He’s dispensable, cariño.”
“Ouch.”
You look over to the other side of the room where Peter sits.
“Okay, and what about him?”
“He's on babysitting duty.”
“Really? We’re still on this?” You raise an annoyed brow.
Peter holds his hands up in surrender, “Don’t look at me, look at your boyfriend. You’re not the only one suffering from this arrangement.”
“Boyfriend? More like father…” You mumble grumpily.
Hobie’s mouth quirks up, “Father? More like d-”
“Don’t fucking finish that sentence, Brown.” Of course, this doesn’t discourage him, if anything, the low growl only makes him smile wider. Miguel sighs, releasing the sudden tension from his body with a quick roll of his shoulders. “Alright, we should be back in a handful of hours.” He begrudgingly looks over at his mission partner, “Let’s go.”
“Okay, call me if you need help!” You yell as Hobie disappears into a flash of neon lights and pulsing sounds.
Before Miguel follows and slips through the portal, he stops and looks back, not at you, but at your babysitter, “And Parker,” He pulls his mask on, always ready for battle, “Make sure she behaves.”
“Oh, come on–”
Peter grins and sends Miguel a half-hearted thumbs up, “You got it.”
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snowy-vee · 18 days
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밤양갱 (Bam Yang Gang) Ellie W.
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n/a: I wrote this today, 1.7K words, I have zero idea why but since my inspiration is not going towards my published on going stories, I decided to be writing things and posting them, to not lose the fun. ENJOY!
warnings: emotional eating(? mostly like binge behaviour but not like BED.
DON'T FORGET YOUR DAILY CLICK
You were running behind her trying to catch up to her but her steps were firm, and by the way she walked, you knew she was truly angry. You had messed up this time.
All your friends stayed in the bar after the scene you caused ¿Was it truly all you though? That girl was too close to Ellie, giggling, touching her arm, whispering things in her ear and you had to watch that from the other side of the table, having to endure the occasional glances from your friends. They were seeing it too but there was no way they were going to say anything, they just wanted to know if you were okay with what was happening.
How could you be? Why was Ellie letting that happen? Why was she smiling too? Her face was slightly red, you wanted to assume that it was the alcohol and not the words that were mutter in her ear by the girl, a pretty one… No, you couldn’t stay calm, not when it felt as if you were the one who didn’t belong. So when you stood up and your drink was emptied on the girls’s head, everyone gasped.
She screamed calling you ‘crazy bitch’, Jesse had to hold you to not jump over the table and show her how crazy you could be. Ellie grabbed your arm, dragging you outside of the bar, you were still screaming harmful things to her.
The cold breeze of the winter hit your hot face but you were fuming and you would’ve have kept screaming if it wasn’t for the demanding tone on Ellie’s voice telling you that it was enough, that’s how you were now running towards her. She stopped her walk and turn around, making you stop to and catch your breath.
There was a big gap between you two in that alley that you two end up with only some lamppost with low lights, she scoffed “You always want way too much. If I even look away for a sec, It’s like my brain’s on fire, you are way too intense, but you did there was just embarrassing, not only for me but for you, I hope you are aware of that”
You bit your lip, nodding slowly, trying to hold your tears while she was looking down at you. You had words stuck on your throat waiting to be thrown up, all your feelings, your mind was sending them as if it was keyboard smashing but when you opened your mouth only three words came out “Yes, I’m sorry”
“I bet you are” She simply said turning around and start to walk away again, leaving you there, cold hugging your bones making you shiver as you saw her vanished in the shadows of the night. The lights started flickering which made you come back from your little trance, swiping the drops that escaped your eyes.
You started walking opposite direction of her, not back to your friends, you couldn’t bear the humiliation that you brought by ‘‘overreacting’’ and if you saw that girl again you would not hesitate to break all her bones even if the rage had left your body after the glacial words of Ellie. The green neon lights of some 24h store made you enter it without saying hello, straight to grab a basket and fill it with a lot of sweets, not even caring about the price.
It look tasty? In. It had chocolate? In. Was it sweet chestnut red bean jelly? One of Ellie’s favourites, you had to have it in your stomach, maybe it would reach your heart and it would feel complete since Ellie liked the candy. You’ve watched her devour them throughout your relationship, maybe this would devour your heart the same way she was doing and make it explode because of all the sugar.
The walk to you house was entertaining as you chew slowly the fifth chocolate bar, this one had prunes in it, which made you gag a little bit, but you still ate it. It was gross but sweet at the same time, like a toxic relationship, like yours with Ellie ¿Right? Your relationship was addictive like chocolate but prudes came along and made it gross.
¿What were you doing? Comparing your relationship with food was stupid but as you enter your home, kicking off your shoes and sitting on the floor with your back resting on the couch, your thighs touching your chest and your mouth wide open while throwing half bag of acid candy inside of it. Your eye twitched, your mouth got out of your mouth involuntary and instant regret filled your facial expression but you laughed it off watching your reflect in the TV.
The memories when Ellie and you made stupid mistakes that later on would become in little stories that made you laugh when in the moment of the heat, it made you both cry, be mad, storm off the room but the moment your eyes met again it was all hugs, kisses and little ‘I’m sorry, I love you’. Thinking about that while you opened the cream buns and started munching one by one.
You bought two packs that came with three buns each, so you end up eating six buns. Your stomach was starting to feel weird and it made you feel nauseous but your mind was pushing you to keep eating, there was a void to fill and nothing you were eating seemed to satisfy the need, you were getting more desperate as the salty taste of your tears mix with the sweetness of the strawberry puffs.
Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of speaking your mind when the confrontation comes, things would be different but you were so scared that your words would drive her away that you just kept silent and apologized seconds later after your mistake, even if it wasn’t your fault, even if it irritated Ellie that you never spoke your mind, you just bottled up and exploded later on overdoing it. The thing was, that she knew what stuff made you act up and she still do them to get any reaction from you.
Tonight was not the first interaction Ellie had with the girl, all those other hangouts she clung on her as if she was the girlfriend and not you, pushing you away or sitting besides Ellie before you could, etc. You kept silent, swallowing all your thoughts, creating a pot of full venom on your stomach that you blurred out this night.
¿Why Ellie wanted to push you to show that she was yours? She should’ve created space between them two too. You sighed, you should’ve told her that, you needed to start communicating much better, stop eating your feeling and making you sick for days.
You look at the deflated plastic bag, anxiety running through your body ¿There was nothing left? ¿You ate everything? That was impossible, you needed to replace what was missing in your heart. You grabbed the bag upside down, shaking it until a red plastic envelope fall… the sweet chestnut red bean jelly, the last candy.
You wanted to eat it slowly, you were chewing and swallowing, barely feeling what was entering your belly, but this one? You had to. You took a small bite and started chewing slowly, feeling the soft jellied texture of it with the right level of sweetness letting the red bean flavour shine with its earthy taste and a hint of nuttiness.
Ellie’s face while eating it appeared in your head, a big smile, her cheeks full of it and begging you to try it, which you’ve never did, always thinking that it was a weird combination of flavours. The shine in her green eyes whenever she could find them in any store, buying at least three pack, the time she wanted to dye her auburn hair the same red as the bean jelly but you talked her out of it, the day she tried to bake it and almost got intoxicated…
The candy was halfway done. You looked at your phone, it’s been hours since you two went different directions ¿Did she arrived okay at home? Did she turn around and try to come back at you? ¿Did she go back to the bar? It did not matter, you missed her, you wanted to talk to her, you both needed that to go to sleep, you knew it. She was not going to call first, she was stubborn, so it was in your sweaty hands as you dialled her number.
She picked up, you could hear her breath, no words. You wanted to be firmed, not cold but neutral, one ‘We have to talk, be matured about this, communication’ and that was it, but maybe because of how sticky the jelly was around your tongue, your next words were completely different:
“So, I have half a red bean jelly and I know how much you liked them, I was thinking that maybe I could save it for later but It would go bad, Can I go to your house and give it to you?”
You facepalmed yourself mentally, closing your eyes and letting your head rest in the couch seat, looking at the ceiling, repeating the word ‘stupid’ all over without making a sound. Ellie clicked her tongue and you heard the zip of something and the sound of some keys.
“I’m on my way” She said ending the call, your eyes almost popped looking at your phone’s screen. Your tired body suddenly was hit with an energy boost, you stood up and looked at the floor full of packages of sweets, you looked at yourself in the mirror, you looked like a disaster.
The way you cleaned everything and still had time to cleaned up yourself a little bit made you think that maybe you acquired a new power, you were sure it had a name…
Knock, Knock. There she was, you don’t needed to check, you knew it because of the way your heart jumped pushing you towards the door, opening it and letting her in.
As she walked in, her eyes not even checking you, your body felt weak but excited at the same time. You were more than ready to speak your mind, you were so ready that the word you were searching before came through your mind.
Sugar Rush.
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Say that You Love Me
17.1 when it was Derek's turn
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, canon typical violence, insecurities, death, inaccuracies for how the U.S. government works, Derek has Trust Issues
Series Masterlist
The morning of the bank robbery, you were in a meeting with Valerie Khan and Ron the Bartender at La Liberté. You were supposed to go with Emily and Derek for her new house inspection, but Valerie had sent an S.O.S. text.
The lounge was empty for the most part. You saw Valerie at the bar, talking to Ron. It was weird to see her without Cassie attached to the hip, but they were apparently ‘on a break’.
“What's so urgent that you can't tell me over the phone?” You said as soon as you sat down.
“Well, good morning to you too, princess,” Ron said, rolling his eyes. 
“We got a lead on the mystery man,” Valerie cut to the chase. You liked that about her, blunt, direct, no-nonsense type of leader. 
Her news made you pause. After more than a month of searching and scouring every database and coming up empty, you finally got a lead?
“I asked one of the guys posted in Italy,” Valerie explained. Before you could protest, she put her hand up. “I know, I know, you wanted to keep this hush-hush. But listen, this guy does not exist before the wedding.”
“Did you find out who approved his attendance?” You asked. “My brother's team vetted everyone.”
“Apparently, not everyone,” Ron said. “My guess was someone on the inside. No other explanation.”
Your phone vibrated in your pocket. It was Hotch, and you knew it was a case. But the theory was too hot to pass up. Besides, based on the muted TV behind Ron's bar playing the news channel, you had a pretty good idea where you were going.
“What are you saying, Ron?” You asked, trying to make everything make sense. You texted Hotch ‘meeting’ before putting your phone on DND. “That my brother is sending someone to tail me during his wedding?”
“Your brother,” Valerie mused. “Or…”
You looked at her in disbelief. “His wife?” 
“It is possible,” Ron added. “We just need to find a motive, the correct angle.”
“Right,” you paused to think. “Well, keep digging, but don't be too focused on her. We don't want any tunnel vision in this.”
Ron and Valerie exchanged worried glances. ‘“You got it.”
**
Monday morning after the bank robbery, Derek took Spencer out for coffee. Bright and early, Derek had got you to cover his combat training class that morning. (You ended up making them analyze a fight scene because hello, you have a leg brace on!). He made a mental note to bring you extra focaccia when he got back.
“I’m just checking up on you, kid,” Derek told Spencer after the fifth time the boy genius asked the same question. “Saturday must’ve been hard on you.”
“It was hard on all of us,” Spencer replied quickly, averting his eyes. 
“You know what I meant,” Derek scoffed. “Especially after–”
“I know what you meant,” Spencer interrupted. He didn’t need to relive the rejected and dejected feeling when he came in one day and saw that picture up on your corkboard. 
That picture. The one where you and Marcus from Art Crimes were dancing under fairy lights on a vineyard. You look so fucking beautiful in it and Spencer had no one to blame but himself. 
“So?” Derek probed. 
“So, nothing,” Spencer said. “Daisy is my best friend. Of course I worry about her, I care about her.”
“But–?”
Spencer took a deep breath. He debated whether to tell Derek or not about what you said in Albertine. He was still unsure on whether to tell you how he felt or to let you go. But then again, you were a former spy. Surely you knew what was going on?
He decided to take a different route. Still the truth, but also still keeping that moment in Albertine to himself. 
“I’m just really confused,” Spencer confessed. 
“Well, you better un-confuse fast because I heard she’d be on temporary assignment with the Art Crimes Unit.”
That made Spencer pause. “She’s leaving? Again?”
“Looks like it, Reid,” 
“For how long?”
“Only Hotch and Rossi know,” Derek answered. “Look, you have been dancing around this for years now. Why not just take her out and get it over with, win her over like you wanted?”
“We were going to,” Spencer said. “It was never the right time. When she got back amd that picture, she looked so happy with –with Marcus.”
“She’s happy with you,” Derek countered.
Spencer pressed his lips together, the clogs in his brain turning. But honestly, who was he kidding? There was only one question in his mind. “Then why does she keep leaving?”
“Emily told me once that she’s a storm and you were lost at sea,” Derek supplied, trying to help but cursed himself when it only deepened Spencer’s frown. “Maybe you need to find a land to anchor yourself first, Spencer, to reorient yourself.”
**
On Wednesday, you met with Derek at Emily's place to help her pack. On Friday, the two of you drove her to the airport and went out for lunch.
Your relationship with Derek never went back to the way it was before Emily's death fiasco. He had called for a truce, yes, and he didn't question your judgments on cases, but deep down, you knew he struggled to trust you.
There were times when you knew he was about to second guess your decisions, reconfirm your whereabouts, or double-check your work. It was those little things that made you feel unworthy, even just a little bit.
You knew though, it was a risk that came with your baggage. Kinda hurt when the BAU members were the ones doing it to you.
Derek helped you get out of the car with your leg brace. Gunshot wounds don't heal all too quickly in reality, unfortunately.
The place was in a little corner of Chinatown. Since it was a little after lunch hour, the place was nearly empty. Red lanterns hung from the ceiling and the smell of newly burnt incense penetrated the air. The unfamiliarity, surprisingly, put you at ease. Derek chose a booth seat near the window, and you made a point to sit away from the glass.
You tried to enjoy the dim sum in front of you, but Derek was stiff and hesitant. He didn't trust you, that much you knew, but going out of his way to treat you to lunch? That was unlike him.
“Why am I here, Derek?” You asked finally when you finished your plate.
“For lunch,” he said, shrugging. He wrestled with steamed chicken feet before giving up.
“Really?” You asked rhetorically. “It's not because you don't trust me anymore and you want me off the team?”
Derek sighed, relenting. “I –I don't –look, I trust you when it comes to our cases, Daisy, you know that. And I don't want you off the team.”
“Then?”
“You and Emily, there's always an angle with you former spies,” he said. “Sometimes it puts me in danger, puts the team in danger.”
You scoffed. “Great, Agent Morgan, thanks for the kind words.”
“That doesn't –look, I know that you said you're in a clean slate. But I know you, Daisy, and I know Emily too. That stunt you pulled during the robbery? That's a yellow light if I ever see one,” he explained. “I know you like your secrets. At least, if you don't want to tell me –us what's going on, make sure it doesn't backfire and light up all of our asses.”
You cursed Emily and JJ in your head for spending so much time with him that he could almost read you like a book. Derek Morgan, who used to charm women just to get a read on them, now could guess a former spy's secrets from mere observations. 
But you couldn't let them know, could you? Not until you were sure who you were dealing with. Your heart wouldn't let you feel vulnerable in front of your teammates. 
“Don't worry, Derek, I solemnly swear I won't get you guys killed,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Anything else?”
“Actually, yes,” Derek said without hesitation. You raised an eyebrow in question. “Whatever you're doing with Spencer and Marcus, I need you to cut it out.”
That made you pause in confusion. “What?”
“We all saw the picture you hung,” he looked at you pointedly. “Reid saw that picture you hung. Not to mention the constant visits.”
“What are you talking about?” You asked. “Not that it's any of your business, but Marcus and I are working on a case together. Everything was completely professional.”
“Just like you and Spencer are completely professional?” Derek accused. “I knew something happened in San Diego, hell, even before that.”
“Again, that's none of your business.”
“It is when you're going to hurt him,” Derek said. “He’s my brother, Y/N, I can't forgive you if you do.”
You had never felt more lost than you were now. What the hell was Derek talking about? That picture you hung of you and Marcus dancing was a cover so you could see the mystery man every day without anyone questioning. The visits were purely professional, now that the task force was approved and just detangling any administrative ties. With Emily joining the Interpol, you were sure she was going to be the one running point, anyway.
You were this close to a break, Marcus had requested your temporary assignment with the Art Crimes division and the task force. Hotch signed off on it to make sure you were on desk duty until your PT was completed.
So you were hurt and confused. Your heart was raw and tender. The room started to feel suffocating and you wanted to lash out.
“Well, you are not going to have to worry for much longer, Morgan,” you told him coldly. Pushing your chair back, you started to gather your things. “I'll start my temporary assignment next month. Maybe by then you can get over whatever this is and start treating me like your friend again.”
And maybe, a part of you agreed with him. All these years, you knew you were bound to hurt Spencer one way or another. That was the reason why you didn't jump into a relationship with him in the first place. Because in the end, you'd hurt Spencer, and you would never forgive yourself if that happened. 
“Wait, Y/N,” Derek called as you started to leave. The sight wasn't pretty; you were struggling with the brace and Derek looked like a jerk face date who said something awful to you. “Let me drive you home.”
“Don't fucking bother,” you spat.
“Y/N, please.”
You looked over your shoulder, seeing him standing over your table and empty dishes. “Leave me alone, Derek. I mean it.”
Slowly, you stumbled onto the sidewalk, hailing a cab. Derek watched as you left, the years of friendship turned ashen in one single afternoon.
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justkindalivin · 1 year
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Shotgun
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a/n: AHHHHH hello!! I’m Lottie and I've been so horrifically obsessed with dealer Ellie that it's not even remotely okay. I had an idea for a fic and instead of requesting it from someone else, I decided why not write it myself! I’ve never posted any fics before bc I’m lowkey ass at writing so if any dialogue is awkward or the grammar is bad I'm so sorry :(  Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy it, have a great day I love you ♡    part 2
I kinda modeled the reader after me subconsciously, so the reader is a bit shy and bi (sorry to my lesbian baddies I luv yall, its only one line). Also, I just made up a random roommate named Sam, very sorry if your name happens to be Sam. 
Summary: After being dragged to a party by your roommate, you escape out to the porch for some air. Not realizing it was already occupied, you end up having a lot more fun at the party than you thought you would 
warnings: language, modern!au, dealer!ellie, weed, shotgunning, collage!au, things get the tiniest bit spicy (only a tad)
wc: 1.6k 
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The music pounded in your ears as you pushed past all the sweaty bodies in the middle of the room. Parties had never quite been your scene, but Sam had begged you to come with her and that girl does NOT take no for an answer
This all started with Sam bursting into your shared dorm, ripping your headphones out of your ears, and standing beside your desk with her hands on her hips. “Bitch, you never come out with me! It's like all you do is sit in the dorm all day, you gotta get out there!!” She excitedly screamed, pulling you to your closet to pick out what you should wear. 
You and Sam had been randomly paired as roommates but quickly got close despite how different the two of you seemed to be. Sam was always out at parties being social and seemed to know absolutely everyone on campus. You on the other hand... well were almost the exact opposite. You always joked that you were like the crotchety old man of your floor who only left for food or class, and just wants all those damn kids to quiet down while you’re trying to sleep. 
“Sigma Nu is throwing tonight, you HAVE to come with me. I’ll be lost without you please please please!” 
Sam was, in fact, not lost without you. She had practically ditched you the minute some frat boy asked her to play pong with him, leaving you alone and painfully sober in a sea of drunk college kids. As much as you loved Sam, she always seemed to do this whenever you come out with her. She’d beg that it wouldn't be fun without you but would leave as soon as you got there and you’d be stuck on babysitting detail for her drunk ass for the rest of the night. After about the fifth push and second drunk couple not noticing you leaned up against the wall and making out basically on top of you, you decided to leave in search of some desperately needed air. Weaving through sweaty drunk people should be a fucking Olympic sport because holy shit- you barely escaped with your life. After going through the kitchen, you finally found your way to a sliding door, quickly getting it open and stepping out into the cool night air. 
“Jesus christ why did I fucking come here,” you say under your breath, leaning against the porch railing and putting your head in your hands “And I can't even leave because I have to make sure Sam’s okay- god damn it”. Scrubbing your face with your hands, you look up at the sky and get lost in your own head until the sound of someone clearing their throat startles you. 
You quickly whip around, hand on your chest, to look at the other person who has also been occupying the porch without your noticing. A girl with short auburn hair and beautiful green eyes stands leaning up against the house. Her face is dotted with freckles and she’s wearing a comfy-looking flannel over a plain white tee, one hand shoved into the pocket of her jeans and the other holding a joint between two fingers. She is, without a doubt, one of the prettiest girls you’ve ever seen. You’re so entranced by her that you barely even notice when she says something to you. 
“oh...uhm- what?” you oh so eloquently reply, internally debating if you should throw yourself off the porch to make your escape from this awkward ass interaction. The girl smirks as her eyes scan you up and down- if you didn’t know any better you would think she was checking you out. 
“I said are you good? No offense but you kinda seem like you're freaking the fuck out” She repeats, smirk still present on her face as she brings the joint up to take a drag from it, blowing the smoke in your direction.
You blush, embarrassed that someone had been witness to your mini breakdown. “Yeah, I’m good. It's just a lot, you know? I don’t go to parties too often.” As soon as the words leave your mouth you cringe internally. Don’t go to parties a lot? You seriously couldn't think of anything cooler to say? Way to embarrass yourself in front of the hottest chick you’ve ever met. Your downward spiral continues until the girl breaks the quiet with a chuckle
“I get that, frats aren’t really my thing either but I get good business here so... here I am”. You nod your head, looking back up at the sky. “I’m Ellie, by the way. What's your name gorgeous?”. Your face feels like it's on fire, your brain practically short-circuiting trying to process that this actual goddess just called you gorgeous. You quietly tell her your name and when you look back at her, she has a wide smile stretching across her face. “Pretty name for a pretty girl.” 
Holy shit this girl is going to be the death of you. You’re sure that your face is going to melt off from how hard you’ve been blushing, the ability to speak has left you altogether. You’ve had flings in the past, with both boys and girls, but no one has ever been so brazenly interested in you. You find yourself desperate to know more about her, maybe run your hands through her hair and cup her face as you lean in for a- WOAH. You’re goin wild right now, you need to cool down
“So um... what do you sell?” You ask, trying to change the topic and give yourself some time to chill out. Ellie looks at the joint in her hands, then back at you with raised eyebrows. “Right right, sorry stupid question” you huff while looking down, embarrassed yet again by your lack of rizz. Ellie lets out a full-on laugh, pushing herself off the house and making her way over to you.
“You ever smoked before, pretty girl?” she asks while leaning on the railing next to you, so close you can feel the heat radiating off of her. Looking up, you’re surprised to see that her face is so close to yours that your noses are practically touching. 
“A few times, not a ton. I cough a lot though, so it's kinda embarrassing to do it with other people”. Ellie taps off the ash at the end of her joint, seemingly contemplating something before turning her attention back to you
“Well if you’re down to smoke, we can try a different way that maybe will help you cough less. That is, only if you want to”. You’re surprised by how quickly you accept her offer, asking her what she had in mind. Ellie moves from beside you to directly in front of you, planting her empty hand on your waist and bringing the joint she held in her other hand up to your face. “Okay, so it's called shotgunning. Just open your mouth after I take a hit, sound good?”. All you can do is nod, mesmerized as she brings the joint to her lips. The moon reflects off her soft skin, the end of the joint burning a deep orange as she inhales. After her hit, Ellie looks over at you and you do as she said. 
Flicking away what little is left from her blunt, Ellie cups your face with her now empty hand and brings her mouth to yours. As she’s kissing you she blows the smoke into your mouth, but you can barely concentrate, too focused on the feeling of her lips on yours. After only a few seconds, Ellie pulls away but keeps her forehead pressed to yours and you blow the smoke in her face as you both giggle.
You reach up and brush away a bit of hair that had fallen to cover Ellie’s eyes, running your fingers down the side of her face until you are cupping her cheek as well. You look at each other for a beat before you both lean in, lips meeting again. Ellie caresses your cheek before her hand moves to join her other one on your waist, finding their way under your shirt and stroking the skin there. She tries to deepen the kiss, licking your bottom lip which you playfully deny. Suddenly, Ellie pulls away for a moment to lift you up onto the porch railing. Your legs fall open and Ellie steps between them, connecting her lips to your neck and kissing down the side to your collarbone. Letting out a breathy moan, you grip the hair at the base of Ellie's neck and throw your head back. 
-SCHWOOP-
The noise startles you and you pull away from Ellie, much to her annoyance. Looking at the sliding glass door, you notice some obnoxious frat boy has thrown it open. 
“Hey, you deal right? I need a pre-roll if you have em”. Talk about a fucking cock block. Ellie all but growls into your neck, whipping around ready to give this dude the verbal thrashing of his life when you stop her by placing your hand on her shoulder. 
“It's okay, I need to find my roommate and get going anyway. But um... do you have your phone on you? Maybe I can give you my number and we can do this again sometime?”. Ellie smiles at that, pulling her phone out of her back pocket and handing it to you. Feeling bold, you give her one last kiss on the cheek before heading past the frat guy and back into the house.
You really hope she texts you. 
----------
an: tf kinda noise does a sliding door make? Def not schwoop but thats all my brain could come up with lmao. so thats my first ever fic, my writing could use some work so i’m def open to any feedback! Stay super freaky, have great vagina, I LOVE YAAAA 
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bronx-bomber87 · 3 months
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Happy Friday everyone! Doing today cause I shall be doing 5x01 On Sunday like I mentioned before to not be posting on Christmas. :) Holy crap we’re on the S4 finale. I remember when I watching it when it premiered thinking is this real life? Thought I was in a fever dream haha Made some long gifs to fit everything in LOL This one is super packed also this ep doesn’t need much more of an intro. So let’s get this party started.
4x22 Day in The Hole
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Our fav patch work family gets the cold open. This moment truly is Tim and Lucy in mom/dad mode. Makes me so damn happy. Tim complaining because Tamara is late to meet them. Moaning on and on saying they have to go... but makes no effort to actually move or leave. Because the both of them have Tim wrapped around their finger. That man isn't moving but will complain the whole time about it LOL Lucy going into wifey mode calming him down saying she’ll be here. Relax. ha
Tamara pulls in and almost hits someone. In a police station parking lot... Their reactions I’m dying. Just a couple of concerned parents watching their kid almost cause an accident. Lucy is a proud mom as she pulls up. Clapping her hands. Tim looking like the stern father. He glares at the car wanting to see if this car is safe enough for her. This is a glimpse into them as parents. I’m liking what I see. Also can I say how cute it is Lucy wants Tim to look at her car in first place. Of course he said yes.
Tamara comes out and says isn’t she pretty? Saying it’s her first car. Lucy correcting her saying actually her car was her first. Tamara makes a joke about it being her fifth if they’re talking stolen. Tim has such a dad moment. ‘What?’ She loves to push their buttons it’s hilarious. Telling Tim it's a joke. Just loves messing with her pseudo mom and dad. Lives for it really. This is a fantastic way to start this episode off.
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The family energy in this scene giving me all the feels. Lucy telling her to get it checked by the mechanic first. That you never know what cars from seized police auction go through. Tamara says Tim set her up with his guy already. Lucy is beaming about this. Says ‘Awww you do have a heart.’ ha Tim can't be seen as soft so he deflects.
But you are soft for both your girls Tim…This much is obvious ha You're a soft little puppy for them. I mean it's only for them but a marshmallow none the less. His reply is sassy af. Saying it’s purely out of self interest. He didn’t want to deal with Lucy being a drag with her dying in a mangled fireball of metal on the 405. The scoff/look Tamara shoots his way is hilarious. Tim fires back ‘Joke.’
Like Father like daughter and I’m dying with the cuteness in this cold open. Also Tim mirroring her posture from when she said 'Joke' to him. LMAO Unfortunately a drug sniffing dog starts barking at the car. Tim opens the hatch back and searches it. Find kilos of drugs hidden in the compartment. Tamara looks so sad. ‘I’m not getting my car back am I?’ Hahaha Sorry my dear you are definitely not…
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Lucy looks up who the car is registered to. It's ‘Jake Butler.’ Lucy pulls up his mug shot and is confused as hell. Ahhhh the beginning of Dim it’s glorious. They pick up his doppelgänger and it's pretty amusing. Didn’t have room for that portion but his ‘Yo, why you looking like me?’ LOL Kills me. They get him into interrogation and the girls are having a field day with it. Enjoying Tim's discomfort so very much. Tim isn’t about this whatsoever of course.
Lucy says maybe they were separated at birth? Tim replies he’s a year older than him and was born in FL. You can see how unsettling he finds this. Tim tries to brush this off. Saying he doesn’t look that much like him. Ok honey… Angela saying he’s not the brightest bulb. Lucy gets excited and says ‘Tim and Dim’ LMAO Enjoying herself far too much with this. Angela and Nyla are joining in on it laughing with her. They aren't helping tamp down her excitement about this at all.
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Tim calling Jake 'Dim' is hilarious. Lucy's face when he does is too cute. Also It cracks me up the minute they enter interrogation Dim hits on Lucy. Doesn't waste any time. I’m dying. Also you know Melissa and Eric had a blast filming these scenes. They’re so funny. The cockiness on Dim saying she would remember ha! Man isn’t lacking in the confidence department that's for sure. They tell him they found his car. He gets all excited saying someone stole it LOL
They inform him it was towed cause he parked by a hydrant haha Tim confronts him about the drugs in the car and Dim denies having it. Because of course he does. His fingerprints are all over the bags. Tim says he helps them and they’ll keep him out of prison. Dim gets offended and says he thought they had a bond ha.
Lucy asks where the drugs came from? He tells them Mexico that he was supposed to drive them over the border. But then he wanted to see his girl first before he dropped them off. I.e. Juicy heh When he came back out the car was gone. Tim asks for the name of the guy they were going to. He tells them Ray Hajek. Lucy gets a look in her eye and asks if his crew ever met him? He tells them no but why? We watch Lucy light up and Tim is confused why she is so excited haha
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It’s here we see Lucy’s excitement go into hyperdrive. I love this portion because she is like a kid in a candy store with this. The sugary high to go along with it LOL Grey and Angela are no help to Tim whatsoever. They are beyond amused by Lucy’s antics. Like to note how easily Tim gives into Lucy’s demands here btw. You're married you just don’t know it yet.
Once he agrees Lucy gets ultra hyper which has me cackling. I love how she stops him with her hands. Because she’s too excited to walk now. Saying all the things they need to do to get him to look like Dim. Tim pointing out she is enjoying this way too much. Duh. I love her excited speed walk to catch up to him and say he needs tattoos. Lucy was a little too excited for those tats heh She sure loves the idea of a clean cut Tim Bradford covered in tattoos.
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We pan to Lucy being on the team watching Tim’s OP. Part of the rescue team if needed. Kinda nice to see her on the watching end instead of him. Being just as much the worried wifey as he is the husband for her when she does UC. He gets taken up to the boss and does a damn good job of it. They’re pissed at him first because he disappeared with their drugs. Tim saying he went to ground because he didn’t want to get caught. Trying to avoid jamming him up.
He then asks why Wisco his heavy shouldn’t throw him over the balcony? We watch Lucy and Angela tense up. Tim has this handled with his reply above though. He is shocked with his intelligent reply. Saying he heard he was dumb. Tim continues on saying he wants people to think he’s dumb. Means they underestimate him.
That answer is enough for him. Tell Tim get his cash on way out. Or he could do another job for him and triple it. Tim asks what kind of job? He won’t divulge that portion just yet. Only that it’s heavy and tomorrow. They’ll need a driver. They heard his old lady is fast. Tim makes a crack 'Sometimes too fast.' He laughs and tells him they’ll be in touch with him.
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Angela catches Lucy and tells her she had Dim’s GF picked up. Lucy is like 'Ok…Wait why are you being weird?' Angela says she needs to see for herself. She is enjoying this far too much. It’s Juicy! Haha Having AU Tim and Lucy makes my soul happy ahahah Now Tim is the one enjoying himself. Lucy is in shock when she sees her doppelgänger. Angela adding in ‘I guess we know who’s going undercover with Dim.’
Tim’s taunting is funny I’m rolling. ‘Yeah Juicy.’ ‘No’ ‘Mmhmm It’s Juicy’ LOL I’m dying this is so hilarious. Not so funny when it’s your double eh Lucy? Also you know Angela was enjoying this way too much as well. Lucy’s ‘I don’t like that…’ cracks me up. She is so disturbed by having her own double. She was having fun before and now she doesn't like it. Also probably stirring some stuff up there is an AU version of them out there. Not only that but they're together.
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We’ve arrived at THE scene for the episode. Tim is over at Lucy’s for OP prep. Saying the backstory has to be airtight. Lucy agrees with him and asks how they met? Tim's answer of a BBQ is vanilla as it gets. This is why she’s the UC babe LOL Lucy telling him that’s lame. I love her just being so upfront with him. She always is but there is a confidence here I love. This is her wheelhouse and Tim is just along for the ride. This is her show really and she proves that in this scene.
Tim is such a stubborn turd saying ‘You think you can do better?’ Oh Timothy you’re about to have your mind blown and your brain broken…She starts out strong saying ‘Watch me.’ Lucy rubs her hands together. Saying they met because he was on the run from the cops. Tim nodding along but not totally sold yet. Lucy continues on with he ended up in her building frantic.Looking for a place to hide.
That she was the one who opened up the door for him. That she lied to the cops for him. It's here we see Tim starts to be impressed with her backstory. That sweet smirk of his in the second gif. You know he is in awe of her right now. That smirk and head tilt is a dead giveaway. Look at how soft he looks gazing at her. Fooling no one sir.
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Lucy’s confidence continues as she finishes up their backstory. It's the smug smile and direct eye contact she gives him as she delivers that line above that gets me. I watch this scene and I’m still in shock we got it. That Lucy is talking about their alter egos hooking up while the cops search for him. Thus his brain malfunctioning. Tim’s reaction is glorious. It will always make me laugh no matter how many times I see it.
Kudos to Eric for crushing it like he always does. Lucy short circuited his brain and it shows. He is having an repeated error message and failing to reboot. You can tell he’s trying to hide the fact she turned him on a little. She achieved this with her confidence through out the story and just blowing his mind right at the end. The man will never recover. He is legit speechless.
Tim was not expecting her to go there at all. She floored him while simultaneously turning him on LOL His professional brain came to a screeching halt when she finished. Also I'm sure he wasn't expecting to be turned on by just her words either. His body was not ready for such things. Good thing he’s sitting cause I’m sure his pants just got a little tighter….
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Tim then remembers he has to reply to her plan now haha Trying to gain his wits about him. Telling her ‘Ok….that..that's pretty good actually.’ Pretty good? She just blew your backstory out of the water. Then proceeded to make your brain stop working. You know he’s a mixture of turned on and impressed as hell with her. Won’t say so but his face said it all for us didn’t it? He legit had his jaw drop like a cartoon hahaha
Tim is seeing she truly is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to UC holy crap. She is also basking in the fact that she crushed his plan with her own, made him speechless, and then got a compliment out of him. Lucy is feeling pretty proud of herself when she says 'Thank you.' I love seeing this confidence on her. It's a good look. Just like I'll never over Tim's growth same goes for her. To see the confident bad ass woman she is now. How far she's come. I love it seeing it.
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Once Tim has some semblance of a brain back he mentions the elephant in the room. That if they’re gonna sell they're together. They’re gonna have to...You know…. Lucy knowing exactly what he’s talking about but giving him a hard time. Trying to get him to say the words. Pretending like she has no idea what he’s talking about. He continues to get flustered and stammers around. Poor Tim. He struggles with his words and stutters. He’s shocked she doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Lucy is enjoying herself far too much. Look at her face. Letting him dangle and trip over his words. Knowing talking about this is making him so very uncomfortable LOL So mean to do to your soulmate Lucy ha She finally throws him a lifeline and says we might have to PDA? Tim gets frustrated she strung him along and says never mind. Lucy stops him and says he’s right. If they’re going to kiss it shouldn’t be for the first time.
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Then the awkwardness that is them pre-kiss ensues. They’re not sure what to do now…So Lucy suggests they stand up. No one does awkward better than these two. They’re so out of their depth right now. It's hysterical. I love a nervous Lucy Chen she is beyond adorable right here. The way Tim starts to lean in and she bails LOL Saying ‘No’ with a nervous giggle ejecting far away from him I’m rolling.
She totally chickens out at first and I don’t blame her. After last episode I'm sure her emotions are going haywire in this moment. Being shy because she already knows of the feelings there. That this was going to bring them out even more. Tim is about to find out himself what this kiss will reveal. Tim is exasperated and not understanding what’s going on here.
He's got a let's do this and get it over with attitude. The thing is Tim is nervous too. Look at him in that first gif. Takes a deep cleansing breath before trying to give her a kiss. He is just as nervous as she is. One thing to banter and flirt with your partner. It's another to kiss them. They’re both buzzing with nerves and it’s adorable af. Hats off to Eric and Melissa in this scene. I can feel all their anxiety and giddiness in this moment. They do an amazing job in this portion.
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Tim get frustrated again and says ‘Oh, you know what? We’re professionals. Let’s just get this over with.’ Lucy’s reaction is the best part LOL Telling him 'Whoa! that’s romantic.' His childish reply of saying he wasn’t trying to be romantic LMAO OMG it’s a good thing you’re about to kiss. Because I wanna yell at them to kiss and get a room already.
Their banter is primo in this scene. Legendary really as is this entire scene. We talk about them being married a lot but never more so than before this kiss. Lucy telling him he’s succeeding and he replies with his pouty face. It’s all so hilarious to watch unfold. Lucy’s nervousness continues to shine through. Trying to reset herself as she psyches herself up to kiss him.
Tim never fails in making me laugh with his expressions and reactions. Telling her in an sarcastic tone to ‘Take her time...’ LOL Lucy trying to give herself a pep talk while Tim stands there exasperated af with her. He is so very done at this point. Just waiting her out at this point. Because he’s used to his wife antics. I love his annoyed deep sigh he let outs when she’s ready to rejoin him. The way he swings his arms in impatience lol
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Tim finally leans in and gives her the most pitiful peck on the lips. He’s so proud of himself when he pulls back though. It’s pretty damn adorable if you ask me. He is expecting praise from his girl only to be demolished by her. Lucy was definitely expecting way more than what he just delivered. It's almost like she has to hold back a laugh at his lack luster attempt. Also that he thought he did a good job with it. Saying ‘I'm s...Sorry, is that it?' After all that build up just an innocent peck on the lips? Tim is so offended about her critique till she lays one on him. Effectively silencing him with a kiss. Also like to note how I love how this season started with an almost kiss and ends with an actual one. Lovely bookend.
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I’ll never be over her cutting him off with her lips and grabbing him by the face. Pulling him forcefully towards her lips. *phew lord* Has his whole face in her hands while she has her way with him. I love how he stumbles into the kiss at first. If you watch him in the beginning of this gif you see him fall forward into the kiss. Wasn’t expecting that show of force from her. He needs a second to readjust his body into what’s now happening. Both of their frustrations with each other melting away once their lips touch. Takes them a moment to find their rhythm. Then it’s all about melding into one another. Fitting like the perfect puzzle pieces they low key always knew they were.
How Lucy’s right hand drops to his chest as she gets comfortable in this kiss. In his arms. Doing what comes naturally while in them. She keeps her left hand firmly on his face though. Keeping those beautiful lips of his directed at her. We watch Tim start to melt into Lucy as well. See how his body begins to relax against hers. His hand has made it's way up to her shoulder. Had this continued I have no doubt they would've swapped places from where they started. His hands continuing their journey upwards. Tim encasing her face in his hands as he continued to kiss her as if his life depended on it.
We see them start to get lost in their kiss. That argument of their's a moment ago is long forgotten. It’s such a sexy first kiss sweet lord. Tim has quickly adjusted from the beginning of the kiss. He's eased into it now and is ready to go for more. We saw him begin startled then quickly relax into her as the kiss goes on. Seems so natural like they've done this before. Reminds me of Chandler and Monica. When Joey/Rachel ask Chandler what he felt when he and Monica kissed after being friends for so long? Telling them felt like 'Why haven't we been doing this the entire time?' This kiss represents that line IMO.
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Look at the way he is melting into her as he looks to deepens that kiss. He’s attached to her upper lip. We can see a little tongue too. Don't think I didn't see you slip that in Timothy heh. He is ready to take this further when their pseudo daughter walks in….I love it being Tim who deepened that kiss. Making that all important first move once again. Lucy wasn’t complaining one bit btw. Cracks me up how Tamara's first solution is to go. Let them have more time alone. I'm sure she's thought of them getting together before.
She doesn't seem terribly shocked by this so much as incredibly amused. How could she not with how they are? Then the awkward hilarity begins. I’ll never be over Lucy’s ‘Oh!’ As they fly apart from each other. Both trying to put a continent between them. It’s so damn funny. Went from hot and heavy to insanely embarrassed. The music stopping abruptly as well. Never fails to make me laugh my ass off. There is so much to love after the kiss as there is with it.
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The way they scramble to explain why they were making out is priceless. Stumbling over their words and each other. Lucy trying to explain that this is 'Work' Uh huh. Sure let's call it that. Tim adding on they're going UC. Tamara is bemused to say the least. Telling them they don't have to explain themselves to her. Tim then starts looking desperately for items he didn’t bring LOL Then realizing he has nothing to gather up.
'You know what? No. I didn't bring anything...' LMFAO Flustered Tim Bradford is a joy to watch. Lucy already broke his brain earlier and then destroyed it with that kiss. You know he’s in love because that man doesn’t get flustered easily. He legit doesn’t know what to do with himself. Other than awkwardly retreat from Lucy. He is shook and it’s showing big time.
I love that he’s a complete disaster just from kissing Lucy. This entire scene is iconic and makes me so happy to watch. They awkwardly point at one another. For what reason I couldn't tell you. Other than they don't know what to do with themselves right now. The height of nervous awkwardness has arrived and I’m joyful Haha They’re both so embarrassed and flustered it’s glorious.
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Lucy is flaming red after she tells Tim 'G...Good work tonight'. She is mortified she just said that to him after they made out. Tim replies in kind because he is also nervously awkward as he leaves. She can’t even look at him as he makes his hasty exit. Her back is turned to him as he departs and does another dorky finger point. Saying bye to Tamara as he does. Lucy's facial expressions are legit killing me. She then she turns around to face Tamara and it only gets worse.
Lucy has no idea what to say to being caught making out with Tim. Tamara's face in that second gif is hilarious. It's like she's giving Lucy a chance to explain herself further. Wanting to see what she'll come up with. She notices Lucy isn't in the right state of mind for answers. So Tamara saves her further embarrassment and says she’s headed to her room…Bless you. Your pseudo mother needed that LOL
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We join Tim in the hallway post all of that mess haha. I once again must commend Eric and his wonderful expressions. He conveys so very much in this moment. It’s the range of emotions he expresses that is so impressive. He just nails it. This is the moment where Tim realizes his feelings for Lucy. Yes she short circuited his brain 100 percent here. But there is far more to this expression than that.
4x21 was Lucy’s epiphany episode. This is Tim’s 'Oh shit I’m in love with Lucy' moment. It’s like he finally has the answer to why he’s always felt the way he’s felt. Why he fought so hard for her not to wash out. Why he said and did things he didn’t totally understand for her. Explaining why he was so protective with her in UC. Why he was ALWAYS happier around her. Just like Lucy it’s hitting him like freight train. His feelings coming sharply into focus.
He goes from broken brain, to realization he’s in love with her, to oh shit I’m in love with my best friend...what am I going to do? The way his eye bug out a little as he comes to this conclusion is everything. That kiss cleared the skies in his brain. He can see clearly now and it scaring him a little. Everything was muddled before and now it’s clear as day. He looks back at her door before he is able to unroot himself from that spot. Tim Bradford is in love with Lucy Chen and it’s just hitting him ❤️
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The awkward cuteness continues the next day. Tim is sitting in his truck with his thoughts. Probably having an existential crisis in the process tbh. I bet you he didn't sleep a wink last night either. Probably trapped in his thoughts the entire time. Also he is clearly just waiting for Lucy to appear. Which is pretty damn adorable.
He perks right up when she arrives. Makes me heart so happy actually. Giving me all the feels. He is so adorable waiting on the girl he loves so he can talk to her. They’re both so smitten at this point my heart is gonna implode. She spots him waiting in his truck. Then does her adorkable wave at him when he notices her looking at him. It's so cute I cannot. They’re both so nervous it’s beyond precious.
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First off love them matching in colors. I feel this was intentional both being in light blue. Once they reach each other the air is rife with unresolved tension. They cut each other off both wanting to speak. Lucy tells him to go first. You can see Tim desperately wants to clear the air. Be vulnerable about the kiss. We see the hope on Lucy’s face as he struggles to find the words. That he is going to say that kiss unlocked something, that it was more than just a practice kiss etc.
That does seem where he is headed when he started this convo. Then our boy loses his nerve completely. Says they should work more on their backstory …You can see the sheer disappointment on Lucy’s face that he said that instead. Probably wishing she had gone first and not him. It’s ok Tim you’ll gain the courage in 5x08 don’t worry. My little awko tacos. How I love thee.
Phew lord that was daunting to write about and tackle haha The sheer volume of gifs out there for this one are immense. But damn I love their slow burn so very much and adore writing about it. Can’t believe we’re done with s4 what a trip.
~~~
Side notes-non chenford
Nolan had a SL but meh.
The only parts worth mentioning are Nell/Elroy being adorable. And how hilarious it was Pete slept through the entire fight scene for Bailey LOL
Thank you to all the readers been with me on this especially those from the very start. You know who you are :) Your likes, comments and reblogs have been a bright spot in my day shall see you all in S5 woo.
78 notes · View notes
acciojaeyun · 2 years
Text
better than words | cedric diggory smut
this a repost. unfortunately, tumblr has deleted the original post as it was said to have violated community guidelines.
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pairing: cedric diggory x fem!reader (gryffindor) warnings: smut/nsfw content, cedric diggory being an angel but a devil in the sheets oml kinks: overstimulation, daddy kink, dom!cedric, sub!reader, oral (female receiving), breeding kink, slight innocence/corruption kink if you squint prompts: “don’t worry, i’ll go easy on you,” “you say that as if hooking up with you is something i should be concerned of” “i like to take my chances”
a/n: in response to this request. thank you for this! again, this is situated in hogwarts. which means, this follows a personal fanon where hogwarts education started at 14. added: ergo, as this fanfic is set where they are already in 6th year, the students are technically 19-20 of age.
summary: cedric diggory was one innocent lad with not-so innocent desires. not everyone knew - not even y/n. and when they were locked up in a room because of a harmless party game - all thanks to fred and george.
Y/N was fucked. Absolutely fucked.
What might’ve triggered it, she doesn’t know. But she awoke with heavy breaths and a sweaty forehead, all because of a certain Hufflepuff that she had been dreaming about at night.
Her mind wanders off to the dream vividly. Even Y/N herself couldn’t deny that even in her subconscious state, it seemed that Cedric Diggory consumed her thoughts. What had been harmless pining over him because of his rather innocent nature quickly escalated to Y/N trying to get herself off on her bed as her roommates quietly snored in their deep slumber.
She envies them, really. Having to not have felt hot and bothered over someone that she finds attractive to the extent that they’d be dreaming of them and having them almost as sexually frustrated as her as she is right now.
“Good Merlin,” she groaned, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand as she regains composure from the explicit scenes in her head. Scenes she was positive she’d be thinking about again tonight - if, she would have some alone time tonight, she thinks. Especially when the infamous Gryffindor twins are hosting a party; and her, Y/N, being a student known to many in her dominant stature and easy-going attitude, being expected by many to attend to.
Considering she had so many things to attend to these days – that including daydreaming about corrupting Cedric Diggory’s innocent facade.
“Ah, Y/N!” Fred cheered as he sees Y/N take her seat at the Gryffindor table, face depicting such annoyance and frustration from being interrupted in her dream as well as the persistent dread of classes - with Potions as their first class in fifth year.
Y/N rolled her eyes, trying her best to ignore the older twin’s remarks on her bitter attitude by supplying herself food on her plate, but as she was about to fill her goblet with much needed orange juice to soothe down her dry throat, her wrists were stopped by Fred and was instantly squeezed in between the bodies of the two beaters.
“What do you want, Fred?” snarled she, making Fred and George exchange amused grins at each other, “Good morning, too, Y/N.” George laughed, taking a bite of her toast that she had just held for her to eat.
“So, Y/N, we’ve been thinking,” George started, turning his body towards yours, “Certainly doesn’t end well when the both of you think,” Y/N muttered, earning a light shove on the arm as Fred turns his body as well to face you, “How you offend us, dear,” Fred mocks a fake offence, laughing it off as you return a look of annoyance.
Fred cleared his throat, “You know about the party tonight, right?”
Y/N nodded, “You pretty much don’t shut up about it,” George laughed, “Right!” as he takes her goblet to drink from it despite Y/N’s gaze of warning.
“So, we have this game,” Fred started, then taking Y/N’s goblet from George’s hand for him to drink from as well. “And we -”
“if you keep on drinking from my cup, I’m not interested.”
In an instant, Fred brought the goblet down, chuckling slightly as he runs a hand through his hair, “Fair trade.”
“Seriously, what do you want?”
“Well, we know your attraction towards a certain Hufflepuff,” George smirked, raising his eyebrows at Y/N which she responded with an eye roll, “You didn’t really have to tell us, Y/N. We know just how you stare at that pretty boy.” Fred winked, laughing at her exasperated expression.
“And we have been dying to test out these products that we have just invented –” George starts.
“And some of it requires pyrotechnics,”
“Fireworks,”
“Sparks,”
“Those stuff.”
“And you need the help of a Prefect to not let you be caught.” Y/N finished for them as she swallowed the toast that she had been chewing rather slowly as her gaze wandered off to the boy who was silently eating his breakfast, laughing along with fellow Hufflepuffs.
Her breath hitched and she almost choked as their eyes locked, and the twins, noticing how Y/N had spaced out, followed her gaze, smirking afterwards as they landed on Cedric.
“Like I said, we know about your attraction,” Fred tapped her on the shoulder, drawing her attention back to them.
“And we can certainly set up a game that could let you have a shot with him.”
Y/N scoffed, drinking down her goblet, “Please,” she wiped her mouth, “Cedric’s too pure for the games that you have in mind. I bet he wouldn’t even go to the party, knowing you two.”
“Oh, but you are certainly doubting our charm, Y/N!” gasped George.
“George’s pretty good at inviting everyone in our parties, so that means we can surely invite your Diggory.”
Y/N, despite her disbelief, knew that Fred and George wouldn’t stop pestering her, had she not agreed to the deal. That’s why, as she wiped her hands with the napkin on the table, she shook each of the twin’s laid out hand, stating proudly, “You got yourself a deal, Weasleys.”
The day went by quickly as expected. And it certainly did not help that she had classes with the Hufflepuffs, enabling her to involuntarily stare at Cedric - as well as watch the twins successfully invite him to the party, mouth agape in surprise; to which the twins laughed at as George pushed her mouth close, with Fred patting her on the head.
“Told you.”
After a dinner with a very much unoccupied Great Hall, she found herself getting nervous over the party. Not that she wasn’t fond of parties nor was she excited of it, it was more of the curiosity she had withheld on the game Fred and George were planning tonight.
As she enters the rather crimson-lit Common Room, she finds herself being ushered by Lee towards the forming circle at the centre of the room with a glass of Firewhisky being pushed towards her.
“Oh, there she is!” George smirked, taking a swig of the Daisyroot Draught which he retrieved from the table behind him. Fred’s eyes wandered to her figure which was approaching the circle, winking at her as he nods his head towards the direction of the Hufflepuff who was leaning on the wall, hand tucked in the pocket of his trousers as he fixed himself with a Quintin Black.
Their eyes locked yet again, and she swears her heartbeat has increased as Cedric shot him a lazy grin, nodding at her to acknowledge her presence.
As she situated beside Fred who was congruent to Cedric’s position, the twins had introduced the game called 7 Minutes in Heaven (which the twins had explained they knew from Hermione who was a muggleborn, making the witch blush), Y/N couldn’t help but notice how many times she and Cedric have locked eyes. This interaction was not let unnoticed by the twins - however, this was unknown to Y/N.
Especially when as Fred spun the bottle for the next pair after Ginny and Pansy stumbled out of the room with hollers and cheers, George had discreetly pulled his wand from his back pocket, muttering a spell that has made the bottle point at Y/N first, then Cedric afterwards.
“Oh,” George grinned in a taunting manner, “looks like a soft Hufflepuff would be with a feisty Gryffindor.” he says, eyes flickering between the two whose faces - they knew, were as red as the room’s lights.
“Don’t worry, Ced,” Fred assures, sipping on his own bottle of Daisyroot, “we’ll make sure Y/N doesn’t scratch. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”
“Fuck you,” Y/N muttered, standing up as she sees Cedric pushing himself away from the wall, chuckling as he shakes his hair, amused with the situation at hand.
“Well, you know the rules,” George winked, “Lee?”
Lee nodded with a smirk, wand waving to turn on the lamp beside the door that the trio had set up for the game, “It’s free of use.” stated Lee, tucking his wand away as Fred nudges him by his arm, grinning to themselves.
“Don’t worry,” Cedric whispers as he leaned towards her ear as they walked upstairs amidst the whistles and cheers erupting from the group. “I’ll go easy on you.”
“You say that as if hooking up with you is something I should be concerned of.” Y/N scoffed, hands folding on her chest to conceal the wavering pride in her voice.
The tall lad chuckled, “I like to take my chances.”
“Now remember, seven minutes, mates!” Fred called out, “Or you could take longer, just don’t go out of the room after the bell!” George added, making the people laugh. “Thanks for the reminder!” Cedric called out, locking the door as he pushed Y/N inside.
As they found themselves in a rather small room, Cedric sat on the edge of a bed that he internally laughed at - the prankster trio, he thinks, certainly knew what they are doing.
“Look,” Y/N started as she grunts in frustration when Cedric had done nothing besides stare at her in a gaze she was almost lost in as she paces around the room, “I don’t know why you’re agreeing to do this. I mean, I understand if you don’t want to let the twins down and all, but we could just pretend we’re moaning and everything if you’re not comfor -”
“Who said I wasn’t comfortable?”
“Well - uh,” she stammered, stopping in her tracks, “I - I was just guessing!”
She watched as Cedric stood up from the bed, his hands finding its way to her hips as she felt her chin being hoisted up to meet his face, “Well, daddy doesn’t like girls who aren’t sure, Y/N.”
Her eyes widened, “Wha -”
Y/N was cut off as Cedric immediately caught her lips in a needy kiss, pushing her towards the wall, erupting a moan as her back hit the cold stone wall.
Moan after moan erupted as Cedric took no time in undressing her from the dress that she clothed herself with. Hands immediately finding her breasts which were bare the moment the dress had landed the ground, “Merlin, no bra? What a daring little girl you are.”
Cedric’s mouth went down to suck on her breasts, with Y/N arching her back towards him. Her pussy dripping with arousal as she finds herself going dizzy about what’s happening right before her.
She finds herself being hoisted to jump as her legs were wrapped around Cedric’s torso, her hands immediately finding its way to hold on his dark, brunette-blonde hair to tug on the nape, emitting a low groan from Cedric.
A gasp escaped from her as Cedric laid her on the bed as Cedric travelled her body with nothing but just his tongue as he locked eyes with her, “So nice skin, just how soft I imagined it would be.”
He took his time in licking her body, sensually and painfully slow. Making Y/N impatient, knowing about how seven minutes could be just around the corner.
“Don’t be so impatient, angel,” Cedric chuckled, biting on the flesh of her thighs making her jolt up. The lad kissed the exposed skin of her thighs, “I bet that sweet pussy tastes so good,”
Y/N visibly shivered at his words, heart beating fast at the side of Cedric she didn’t know he had. All the while he looked so innocent, she never knew how Cedric had placed her in a trance that had her writhing on every word.
Cedric lunged forward, giving a kitten lick on her clit, which had her arching in such minimal movement. That man, Y/N swears, he would be the death of her. “Hm, angel,” he ghosted a finger over her glistening folds, making Y/N whimper at such feather-light touches.
He laughed, “And here you were moments prior thinking I wouldn’t fuck you.” he rolled his eyes, softly easing a finger inside of her, moaning at how her walls had engulfed his long finger.
All Y/N could respond was a moan, anticipating as she feels his hot breath against her pussy, just where she needs him the most. Cedric was taking his time, curling his finger every now and then to the spot which stimulates a reaction from her.
Her hands started to make its way to her breast, making Cedric halt, “Touch yourself and you’d be getting yourself off.” he warned, making her open her eyes in an instant, shaking her head after as she gripped on the sheets.
“I don’t like how you think you could touch yourself, darling,” Cedric tuts, now opening her wide by scissoring her, “especially when I’m touching you like this.”
Y/N toes curled, wanting to push Cedric’s face towards her cunt so badly. Eventually, her desires were soon answered as Cedric lunges his mouth yet again, his tongue and lips finding its way to her clit as he thrusted an additional finger inside of her.
“Oh, fuck!” Y/N exclaimed, “No, don’t close your eyes,” Cedric said, left hand pinching her on her thighs making her squeal, “look at me, I wanna see you fall apart.”
The Gryffindor so desperately tried in locking eyes with Cedric’s lust-blown gaze, trying so hard to not let her lash flutter against the top of her cheeks. Especially trying so hard when Cedric gives a soft bite to her clit then pulls away for him to play around with the pointer finger of his left hand.
Sooner, her thighs quivered around his head as Cedric simultaneously ate her out while fingering and scissoring her harshly, “So good, Cedric, oh god - oh!” she moans as her hips involuntarily bucked towards him, earning yet another pinch on her right thigh as Cedric bit on her labia.
“Stay bloody still,” Cedric groaned, fastening his pace as her walls tightened around his finger, “Needy little girl, you are,” he laughed, biting his lips as he finger-fucked her in a relentless manner.
“Cedri - oh, gods - please, please, please - shit!” Y/N exclaimed as the coil at the pit of her stomach snaps, Cedric muttering praises on how she had came hard.
He immediately went to lick her cunt as she emptied herself, wincing at the stimulation, eyebrows furrowing together as she feels Cedric pushing another finger in, “Hold that,” he orders, “Just to remind me of the first orgasm tonight.”
Y/N’s head shot up, “F-first?”
“Yes, darling,” he shot her a wicked grin, “you didn’t think we were finished, did you?”
“Cedric - wha - oh, fucking shit!”
“Daddy,” he corrected as his tongue yet again swipes over her folds, tongue lapping at the entrance of her pussy as his finger toyed on her clit, drawing circular figures faster than he did before. The Hufflepuff was devouring over the cries of his name, ego boosting as he knew that he was the one who was making her writhe, the instructions of the game at the far back of his mind.
He had kept his right hand on her stomach, pinning her down as she was trying so hard to pull away from the overbearing sensation. “Baby, you’re shaking,” he smirks, his condescending words going straight towards her cunt. “does daddy make you feel good?”
Y/N merely nodded as her back arches off the bed, she opens her eyes to see Cedric bucking his hips against the mattress to relieve himself off the desire to take you then and there, pounding into you as if there’s no tomorrow.
“Words,” he whispered, eyebrows furrowing at your stubbornness. Y/N exclaimed, shaking out a breathy sigh and moan, “Yes, daddy - yes, please, it’s too much!” she cried, as tears welled up in her eyes; a tear escaping as Cedric pinches her clit in between of his index and middle finger.
Her hands tangled in Cedric’s hair, trying so hard to ease the sensation as she finds herself approaching her high yet again, “Daddy, pleas -”
“You were just telling me you wouldn’t be concerned about me fucking you,” he spat, “now that I am, it’s concerning you now?” he taunted, kneeling on the mattress while holding her hips.
He opened her legs wider, pushing up a leg upwards as he orders for her to hold it above him, enabling the lad to have a deeper access to her overly sensitive cunt. Y/N moaned and whined in a drawl, squealing every so often as she hears the words of Cedric taunt her, “Be the daring girl you are and bloody take it.”
Cedric was practically making out with her cunt, and sooner enough, she was coming yet again on his mouth as she winced when Cedric didn’t stop in lapping at her entrance as if she never came, “Daddy, daddy, please - ” Y/N whimpered, gasping as she felt his tongue push her cum yet again inside her. He was driving her crazy.
“Since you asked nicely,” Cedric smiled as he licked his fingers clean, making Y/N sigh in relief, which was soon replaced by a gasp as she watched him kick himself out of his trousers.
“I’ll be trimming it down to three orgasms tonight.”
2K notes · View notes
shortpplfedup · 9 months
Text
Rewatched the episode to organise my thoughts and I really wanted to share my understanding of the emotional journey Pat is going through this ep. I do feel, like @lurkingshan and @ginnymoonbeam in particular have been saying to me, that Pat's journey is sliiiiiiightly harder to follow, and it hinges on the conversation on two levels that he and Jeng have near the middle of the ep (which, more on that in a moment). Like always, this ep could have used a little nip/tuck, and maybe a montage to show the passage of time, but I'd like to present to you...
PAT'S EPISODE 9 EMOTIONS: A STORY
First movement: absolute cringe, totally embarrassed. He was drunk and weeping, hanging off his boss who had to answer his MOM's phone call and get him home. Said boss is also gay which...we're not processing that right now because it adds an entirely new cringe level.
Second movement: starts to think about the fact that JENG IS GAY AND ONLY JUST TOLD HIM which feels like maybe Jeng has been laughing at him a bit and messing him about. Because he thought they were bonding somewhat all this time but Jeng didn't share this when he knows Pat is also gay. Shoves the stuffie in the drawer because he feels betrayed.
Third movement: Here is where things get wibbly because time is clearly passing between the day after the bar and the day Pat's dad shows up, but we don't really understand how much. Pat is actively avoiding Jeng. Jeng is asking Chot where he is, Pat is taking (multiple?) days off...but no idea of when this falls in the timeline so hard to follow the throughline.
Fourth movement: Pat is back at work and clearly DEEP in his feelings, he has been stewing over this for who knows how long at this point (feels more weeks than days or months). Chot is noticing (and likely misunderstanding the source of the churn as a lovers' tiff rather than a not-lovers' tiff). He thought he wouldn't have to see Jeng because Chot is standing in for him at the screening but Jeng shows up and he kind of panics. So he's feeling embarrassed, a little betrayed and like Jeng has been toying with him.
Fifth movement: This is where they have the convo on two levels. I say that because Pat was clearly saying one thing while Jeng was hearing another. Pat is saying: 'stop doing these things because I can't say no when you're sweet to me.' Jeng is hearing: 'stop doing these things because I can't say no when you are my boss.' The language is deliberately vague, and the idea of two meanings could get lost, but the show makes it clear in the two follow up scenes where Jeng and Pat have separate vents about what's happening. Jeng is crying to Jaab that Pat only sees him as a coworker, while Pat is fuming to Jen that Jeng is playing with his feelings. Pat said 'I don't want to misunderstand' and Jeng said 'you're not misunderstanding' and Pat said 'no I must be misunderstanding because it don't even make sense, so leave me alone please.'
Sixth movement: Pat exposits those feelings of being toyed with to Jen, who is like 'solidarity sister, these brothers be doing that.'
Seventh movement: Chot tells Pat Jeng is quitting and that's when Pat starts to realise that maybe the man was Not Fucking Around, but the WHY ME? is strong because Pat is aware that Jeng is An Adult and he is The Hot Mess Express. Then the man plans him a damn birthday celebration but stays away like he asked.
Eighth movement: At this point, Pat is the SpongeBob crab meme. THERE IS JUST TOO MUCH HAPPENING AND HE CANNOT PROCESS IT HE HAS SOMEHOW GOTTEN LOST IN THE SAUCE. He breaks the fuck down and cries to his mommy and daddy, because it's all too much.
Ninth movement: Pat experiences the miracle of birth up close and fucking personal and like many of us cannot believe that a human can actually do that and what the fuck is he actually caught up about. His good sis MADE A PERSON IN THE STREET and then posted it on Instagram like it was light work, and he is skressed because a gay man likes him, another gay man.
Tenth movement: And then Pat gets home and said gay man has sent him a BOX of snacks just because he said he liked them once, and then sends him a text that basically says 'I LIKE YOU DUMMY, SO MUCH, BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU.'
Look, all I'm saying is my man Pat went on a journey ok?
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mariamariquinha · 5 months
Text
Chilean, Camembert (Jonathan Levy x f!reader) - one shot
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Summary: He was pathetic. Hot, but pathetic.
Word count: 8.1k 
Warnings: Mentions about divorce, bad words, a few academic terms, alcohol (it's wine), p in v sex, rough sex, a little bit of angst, Jonathan is quite toxic but for the optimists he is trying, oral sex (female receiving) and... Yeah, guess that's it.
Author’s Note: I finished writing this and thought 'I should be taking care of two long fanfics I'm writing here', but this shit had been in my head for MONTHS and, just like Dave's, I had to write it just now because that's when I felt fit. It's my way. I love writing for characters that almost no one gives a shit about.
Enjoy!
(If there are any grammar mistakes, I'm sorry, but I'm lazy, tired and needed to post it).
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤
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He still had her scent on his neck and chest and face. It was an obvious realization, but one he didn't make until he was standing in front of that restaurant looking at your seated figure, one hand supporting your visibly tired face. He was late. Very late. And in a way, Jonathan could make an excuse over the phone and feel bad about it, but he still went there because he thought he could just be honest.
But her fucking scent was there. Probing, making explicit what had happened.
He stood motionless beside the car, coat tight between his fingers and a lump in his throat. You had asked the waiter for the bill, for the only glass of wine you must have sipped all night because you weren't a big fan of the drink. He knew that, but not because he asked - you said. You always said everything and did everything. You were the one who also asked him out for the first time, who kissed him for the first time, who led the whole exchange between you two. And the two of you weren't in a relationship, it hadn't even gone beyond an expected kiss after the third date, because you were patient and understood the moment he was going through. Still, Jonathan knew it was the last straw. 
With more of that bitter feeling, he also saw you picking up your things and heading towards the exit. His cell phone vibrated at the same time you put yours to your ear, trying to talk to him for the fifth or sixth time. Jonathan didn't answer.
It was like a slap in the face, the way you lost the polite smile you'd given the hostess when you walked out the door and saw him there, in front of you, a street away. Your face wore a frown, a colder, more rational look, as you measured him from head to toe with a reticent step in that direction. It felt like you were figuring out where he'd been, what every detail of him meant; it scared him a little.
“Are you-” 
There, after a few firmer, closer steps, Jonathan instinctively dodged your proximity, raising his hand just high enough for you to understand his reaction. Then, with a breeze, you became aware of the sweet aroma, the strange perfume that had an owner. From cold and rational, your eyes turned sad. You blinked a few times, swallowed hard. He kept that hand up and you stared at it, as if a wave of brutal realization had coursed through you. Jonathan was left to watch the scene in silence, relishing that bad feeling of having hurt you.
“I-”
“Nn-nn,” You interrupted, closing your eyes for a second and raising a single finger to stop him. He obliged. And then you opened them again, wet from tears you were holding back, looking right at him in a moment of braveness - one he could admire if it wasn’t for the circumstances. “Don't take it away from me. Don’t take… You don't have the right to reject me twice.” 
There wasn’t a single part of him that felt strong enough to fight it, to say he could make it better, that Mira was a person from his past, that she hurted him enough for him to leave. But he couldn’t. He… couldn’t do it. 
You recovered with a sigh and avoided looking at him as much as possible.
“I’ll go home. Forget my number, I don’t wanna be your friend, yada, yada, yada. You know, the usual.” 
“We could talk about it.”
“We could? We could, Jonathan?” 
Jonathan shut his mouth again. 
“Just… Leave me alone, okay? For good.” 
He didn't react when he saw you walking, steps slow as you kicked off your heels and walked the rest of the way to your car in bare feet. You looked back, just to watch the traffic on the street, and in that movement the two of you exchanged glances. You cried. Far from him, with distance, like stubborn tears that insisted on coming out. Tears Mira hadn't cried for him.
And he let it be. 
------------------------------
The problem was in the details. He had the same gray hairs, the messily organized curls, the sweaters, the briefcase and the glasses, as if the last two years hadn't passed him by. There was Christmas, New Years, holidays; the same. You didn't hear if he was really divorced, if he was still with Mira, what Ava's custody rules were. Like before everything, you had fragments of him. That was a problem because these fragments made you fall in love before. 
You had a boyfriend after him, a real one, who didn't have problems with an ex. His name was Charles. Honestly speaking, maybe Charles would have been a comfortable blanket and a hot cup of tea during a rainstorm, which is what you had with Jonathan. And he was good. Indeed, a nice guy. He made you forget Jonathan, put a stone on what had happened and move on with your life. 
But you were far away from that mess geographically and emotionally when it happened. In London, more precisely, participating in an important research group for your academic career, and Charles happened at that time. It was an incredible six months. When you came back, he just said that it wouldn't be ideal to maintain a long-distance relationship, and you broke up. You had a good opportunity in Boston as a substitute teacher, a place on the Anthropological research team at Suffolk University and you stayed there without missing Charles much.
A year and a few months later, a friend from Columbia said they were putting together a new research team on Ancient Latin American communities, which was your area of ​​expertise, and he had a good letter of recommendation if you were interested. Rahul was a very good friend. And that, precisely, took you to that exact moment.
First, you discovered that you were a very young person in relation to the other members of the group, who must have been at least 50 years old. At 27, you were an exception who would need to prove yourself a lot. Then, during a campus tour, someone asked you where you came from (which meant where you studied) and when you said you graduated from a public university, Rahul commented that it was better to say you were from Yale until they found out it was a lie.
“It's better to be called a liar than poor around here.”
And then you arrived at the moment that, curiously enough, was the least worst of the day: finding Jonathan leaving the library, with his head lowered and eyes focused on a book. There was a possibility that you would go unnoticed, that you could process the discovery that he was in Columbia calmly, but it was at that moment that you also discovered that Rahul knew Jonathan well enough to make a point of 'introducing' you.
Among other qualities, he was always polite and cordial enough with anyone, no matter who they were. So when Jonathan looked up with a friendly smile, ready for a simple handshake and saw you, he retracted his hand a little, because damn, he really didn't even wait for Rahul to say your name before doing so. 
“Good to see you, Professor Levy,” You said, professional as ever, searching for his hand for a normal handshake. No explosions, no butterflies in your stomach. It was just Jonathan. 
“Do you… know each other?” Rahul asked, obnoxious by the interaction and pointing between you two. 
“Professor Levy was my mentor when I was working on my doctorate,” You explained. “He helped me to get that scholarship.” 
“Oh. Small world, eh?” 
He didn’t say a thing for a long moment, even after you smiled at Rahul and nodded, going along with his comment to throw the ball to Jonathan. Nothing. He frowned, lips pulled in thin line, and then, just then, when you cleared your throat and averted your gaze, that he blinked a few times, finally engaging. 
“... I thought you were in Boston.”
Wow. It sounded like another rejection, from the tone of his voice and the way he watched your face. You felt your neck burning, your cheeks tickling in embarrassment. Good for you, Rahul did all the explanation, gaining Jonathan’s interest really fast and really naturally. From time to time, while your friend would come and go to extend that story more than necessary, you could see him giving you glances from time to time, as if to make sure you were still there.
By the time that whole lecture ended, full of an adventure you didn’t really live in real life, Jonathan turned to you. 
“I hope we can have the opportunity to catch up now that you're here,” He said with a small smile, head tilted to the side. “You’re living nearby?”
“She-”
“I didn’t find a place yet,” You interrupted Rahul before he could say anything stupid. “And I don’t want to interrupt your work hours, professor. It’s Columbia, I would be really naive to think you’re not busy.” 
“I could always find time to talk with an old friend,” You both smiled falsely, clearly with different intentions. You wanted that conversation to end, Jonathan wanted to pretend something. 
“Sure thing,” With a sigh, you raised your eyebrows and looked back at the library doors, pointing at it. “Can we go now?” 
Finally - finally - Rahul noticed that you wanted to leave, opening his mouth like a dead fish before nodding, all the while smiling exaggeratedly. 
“Yep. Library. Library! Sure, we should-” He pointed at the doors as well, already pushing you to keep walking. “See ya later, Levy?”
“Mm-hm.” Jonathan nodded, another glance in your direction. “Good to see you again.”
“Same.”
Which wasn’t true, but you couldn’t tell exactly what you felt at the idea of coming back to that… interaction. He seemed nonchalant, a little taken aback but relaxed enough or mature enough to not make it a big deal, which was good. Fine. Cool. Of course you didn’t feel anything, whatever happened in the past was in the past. If you looked back and saw him doing the same (and had that feeling on the pit of your stomach), you both were just shocked by the surprise. 
Right?
------------------------------
The mirror of the bathroom was fogged when you left the shower, making you clean it a little to avert your blurry reflection. Beside the mirror, big enough to see more than just your face, you saw a pair of boxers and a dirty shaver. Rahul wasn't the best of the hosts. You really would need to find that apartment soon. 
For some reason, this made you instantly think of Jonathan, which consequently made you frown. No. No, no Jonathan. You shouldn't-
“You two fucked, right?” 
Rahul didn’t even wait for you to enter the bedroom, throwing himself on your bed and looking at you suspiciously.
“Rahul…”
“Na-ah, don’t come with that shit. It’s a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question.”
You sighed, scratching the back of your neck and sitting beside him, feeling his body adjust on the mattress to be side by side. That made you think, think, think… 
“Remember that guy I was seeing before flying to London?” 
“Yep. The one with the ex and-" He stopped himself. "Shit."
"Mm-hm."
"He never sold himself as an asshole."
"I don't think he is a natural asshole," You pointed out, even if you already explained that to Rahul way before that conversation, before he could even guess who was the guy from two years ago. The reaction was the same: he tsked, shaking his head in disbelief, saying you were stupid for thinking like that, that you were 'too good with everyone'. 
"He may be quite a catch, honey, but he's still an asshole. A jerk, at least."
"Mm…" You hummed, shrugging a little. 
"And since he's the guy from before, you two didn't go to the finals then, right?"
"No, we didn't," For some reason, that made you scoff. "Why? Trying to push your luck?"
"... He's still hot."
That made you laugh - for the first time since the topic flowed between you two. A relief, at best, since Rahul just reserved this type of behavior with you, being so shy when the topic was his love life. 
You had the impression that Jonathan wouldn't be just something to make jokes about. 
------------------------------
Rahul lived close to the campus, close enough to walk everyday to work. You just noticed it was a great privilege when you moved from his apartment not even two weeks later, because suddenly what seemed like 'just a few blocks' turned into a bunch of whining from you. 
The price of your new place was quite high because, damn, it was New York, so you did what you were doing in Boston: particular classes. All of this brought a routine for you. In the morning, gym, then work. Then lunch. Then work again. Then avert Jonathan every chance you got. Then go to Mr. Hastings house (where he has this weird nerdy son called Dylan) and give the young boy History and Sociology lessons. Then, finally, go back home, shower, scroll through your phone during dinner and avert that notification from Facebook suggesting that you should be friends with Jonathan because he was a mutual friend with Rahul. And at least half of the Researching Department. 
It started to bother you. Jonathan wasn't chasing, not like in a stalker way, but the comfort idea that Columbia was a big university (big enough to make him less of a problem) started to fade and you knew that, if it really started to poke, like a petulant child, like Dylan Hastings, you should think of a better way of dealing with the situation. Given the circumstances, it seemed like those two years, from Europe to Charles, were all a big run from the fact that you're still hurt from what happened. 
Jonathan didn't move a finger to get closer or force a conversation. Still, you knew that if you hesitated for even half a second, he would be there with his air of intelligence, strong aroma of coffee and a masculine lotion that he certainly used on his beard or on the days he decided to make his hair tidier. You noticed, there was no way not to. He walked more confidently than when all this happened, but Jonathan was never smug or showy, so it was just like he walked around without sulking. That was new to you. When you two met, he certainly didn’t show anything but remorse and a small sense of… comfort? Of fucking trying? 
By the end of your second month at Columbia, Jonathan was just someone to look away from. Nothing else.
“I don't know if you'll find what you're looking for there.”
You turned abruptly to the side, seeing him standing in the middle of that corridor, both hands on his pockets and a small smile on his face. It wasn’t suffocating, the way he stood there in a safe distance with his shoulders relaxed and that New Balance dad’s shoes, but with two high shelves of books surrounding you, you just felt a little out of breath. 
“It says British Literature,” You pointed at the entry of that corridor, where you saw the sign clearly stating which section the library was in.
“I didn't know this would be in your search grid.”
“And you’re right,” A nod, then your eyes went back to the books. “What I'm looking for isn’t for me.”
“Oh.”
“It’s for Dylan.”
“Dylan.”
“Dylan Hastings.”
He went quiet for a moment, but you didn’t give in to the curious desire to see what the expression on his face was.
“... Private classes, then?” Was what Jonathan asked after a beat, to which you nodded again. “For you to leave Boston and come here, I imagined that the offer at the Research Department would be more tempting.” 
Indiscriminately, his comment made you a little annoyed, but you tried not to let it show. He wasn't usually mean, it's just that maybe you always had the wrong dose of sarcasm and even indiscretion. Whether it was his intention or not, you seemed to try a little too hard not to be rude.
“You really seem bothered that I came here.”
“To the library?”
“To Columbia.”
You sensed him taking a small step closer, which made you retrieve in your spot. Jonathan sighed.
“I’m not.” 
“Mm.”
“You deserve to be here. With your background and such.”
“I know.”
“Can you please look at me?” 
It was your turn to sigh, defeated by a simple task of being polite even when you didn’t have any obligation to do so. When you gave in, turning your eyes to the man, you saw that he was serious, but not angry, as if just waiting to test what should be his side in the conversation. 
He didn’t say anything for a moment or two, measuring your face while brushing his fingers on his bearded chin. 
“... We can talk about what happened. I know this-”
“We can’t,” Not a question, not a small broken voice of sadness. You said it with an almost expressionless tone, arms crossed over your chest. Jonathan was surprised by the sudden interruption, blinking a few times. 
Again, silence. And when he didn’t give any indication to fill it, to say something, you turned your eyes and body back to the shelf, arms dropping to your sides again. 
“You always wanted to teach here,” He said surprisingly, this time not even needing to ask you to look at him. You did it right away, snapping your head in his direction. 
Took you some seconds to understand what he meant. 
“I honestly didn't expect you to think I don't want to talk about this because I don't want to talk to you.” 
Harsh, of course, but enough to keep him away. The sarcasm, the venom dripping from your voice, it should be more than a reason for Jonathan to put himself on his place, to be away from you, to just fucking forget it. He was doing just fine for two whole months, no one needed that drama again. 
With that, he left, and you cursed yourself with closed eyes for feeling bad about it too. 
------------------------------
“You know that's not the answer.”
“I would know if you told me.”
“If I told you, you would still not know and we would still be here.” 
Dylan narrowed his sharp blue eyes at you, pursing his lips before looking back at the copy of Not Much Ado About Nothing. 
“When I'm older, I'm going to pay people to give me answers.”
You looked around, seeing a Renoir on the left wall and a solid wood china cabinet right next to it.
“I'm sure you will.”
------------------------------
You thought about it a lot and knew that if you were thinking, it was because you had to decide what to do, which could include… nothing. You could let the matter drop, make Jonathan forget everything and just carry on as if nothing had happened, which seemed prudent. Maybe 'doing nothing', maybe continuing to live and work your dream would be ideal. You loved being an ordinary person, who did ordinary things and didn't live within the limits of drama; you loved peace. But the problem was that, to 'do nothing', it was also necessary to do something, take a step, make a decision, and these were actions, even if they were silent withdrawals. 
The research fund had increased circumstantially that semester. Your articles were doing very well and, at that time, you could hope, even from a distance, for a chance at leadership in your own line of research. Like good nerdy academics, the Department didn’t throw celebration parties, but directed the money towards purchasing new printers, updating books in the library and investing in publications in the university magazine or field research trips. They commented that it could frustrate you, being young and not being able to have coworkers with whom you would drink in questionable bars, but you always smiled and replied that it was okay, that you had already booked the clubs and drunk Uber rides for a past time. 
And for some reason, this moment of good news, of positive points, made you stop there, with a cup of coffee in your hand and right in front of Jonathan's office.
He had to double-check that it was you who was standing there after you entered, closing his mouth before he could use the condescending tone of a teacher toward a student, lowering his expectations of meeting a desperate oil heir from his Dostoevsky classes for… you. And what would be you, standing there with an unreadable expression? 
“... Good morning?” He asked, unsure, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. 
“Yeah, well, yes. Good morning.” You said. “I’m not gonna do a lot of small talk, that’s probably not the right place to do so, I just…” 
Jonathan was blinking at you as if you had a second head, confused by your appearance and probably by your rambling. 
“I want to apologize for how I treated you the other day. At the library,” You words had a small effect on him, almost imperceptible. “It wasn't my right to act so harshly even if I disagreed with you.”
“I still think you were polite. I don't remember anyone telling me to fuck off in such a controlled manner.”
“Jonathan…” You scolded him with a sigh, averting your gaze from him with a head shake. 
“No, please, I’m being serious. I deserved it.” 
“That’s not the point,” You pressed. “It is, probably, but what I’m trying to say is that we could… put a rock on the whole situation and move on. We’re both adults, we can do that.” 
He stared at you for another long moment, licking his lips and considering something inside his head. Then, calmly, he nodded, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. With small steps, you sat there, eyeing the papers splayed all over and then the way he leaned against his own chair, relaxed. 
“How was your search for the book in the British Literature session?” Jonathan asked casually, even grinning at the mention of your trip to the library. 
“Good. I spent a lot of time looking for the damn book and then discovered that Dylan had an exclusive copy,” You rolled your eyes at the memory, crossing your legs to get comfortable. “But it was worth it. It's been a while since I read Not Much Ado About Nothing.”
“Oh, Shakespeare.”
“Mm-hm.”
“I thought you always found him quite boring.”
“I still do,” The comment made him smile more openly. 
All of that calm atmosphere brought some sort of comfort, but you were still sitting on the edge of the chair, circling the elephant in the room while sipping on your coffee. After a moment, when he just sighed and clearly left the ball in your room, you stared at your pants for a moment, thinking of a better way to start the topic. 
“I won't ask what happened that night,” You started, having quite bitter flashes of the restaurant, the stares, even the pity from the waiter. 
“You should.”
“Maybe, but I still prefer not to. What happened in your life isn’t my problem.” 
He nodded. You knew that because when you raised your head, he was observing you quietly. 
“I'm not with her anymore.” 
It was strange that, for Jonathan, this was the most convenient thing to say, as if he had to give you an explanation of that, specifically. You took in the information with tight lips, brushing your fingertips on the coffee cup in your lap.
“... Mm.”
“But I shouldn't have been with her at that time,” He confessed. “I still loved her or thought I did, I don't know. There was just a lot going on at once and so we… That was the last time. With her.”
Again, you took the information, letting it flow in your insides. In fact, you were right to listen to any argument from him in the past. If he told you that back then, that night, the story would be more than something to forget.
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Because it may not seem like it, but two years can give someone a lot of maturity,” A pause. “And you were always very firm in knowing what you wanted to deal with and what you didn't. When you decided you didn't want to hear about my shit, I realized that I didn't care about you as much as I should have. This was something you didn't deserve and I know that if you still have your reluctance towards me, I shouldn't force it.” 
It didn't seem rehearsed, but thought out - there was a difference. It was thought of as a class he was teaching, as a subject he was aware of and just said, in an automatic, reflected thought. You used to have mixed feelings when he spoke to you like that before, and this time you realized it was no different. He wasn't patronizing you, but he wasn't being completely emotional either, which could be slightly incoherent for someone who was speaking his mind. You accepted anyway, because before you didn't have something very solid, not enough for such expectations, and this time the relationship was even less close.
“... Makes sense,” You all but nodded, taking another sip on your coffee. “Quite relieved that you gave it some thought.”
“I did. I care about that now.” 
Whatever he meant, whatever his ‘care’ should mean at the moment, you waved off with rationality. Jonathan just didn’t want to feel even more bad about what happened, if he had hurt you - a young, naive woman. It could do things to him, a father, who wouldn’t want his daughter to face what you might've faced. Like fixing his early mistakes to have a word on the future, if necessary. 
“Better late than never, right?”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“No?”
“Nn-nn. I didn’t come here expecting you to put the same meaning on it as me.”
“And what was your meaning?”
The question made you squirm in your seat, just a little, just enough to notice that he knew you would react somehow. Still, you played it cool: shrugged, looked around. 
“You were the hot professor coming off a messy divorce, Jonathan,” You said with a scoff. “That's basically the ideal guy recipe for any frustrated girl.”
“I never thought you were frustrated.”
“But you saw something,” With raised eyebrows, you said it for sure, a truth he would try to hide with kind words and a sense of regret. “You loved Mira and I never asked you to stop doing that. And you remember, don't you? When we kissed for the first time? I told you that you should only keep going if you were sure and you did it. You still smiled and said you wanted to do it the right way, take me to dinner and be a gentleman. The impression I got was that you needed more time to fuck your ex one last time and make sure we weren't going to work out.” 
It came out so naturally, tho, like you just organized all of the thoughts and insecurities and expectations you always had when it happened, that Jonathan just stared at you without a reaction, as if it was all new to him. Maybe it was. You labored such a huge crush on him back in the day, he was always more smart, more charming, more polite, more pretty - no one could even come close to what you created of him. And when he came to that restaurant smelling like a woman, smelling like Mira, you knew that Jonathan, the sexy professor with kind smiles and a toe curling kiss, was just a pathetic immature projection of a good man for you, one that you could invest in. 
He just considered it as if he were giving something a bain-marie, calmly melting it so that it was right, warm but not hot. You stared back at him, expressionless and calm. 
“This sounds more like frustration,” His voice came out, low and ashamed. 
“Wouldn’t you say.”
Jonathan nodded, looking around his desk as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. 
“... I'm only here because I knew what I was getting myself into. My naivety was to trust that you, at that moment, could lead to a fruitful relationship. It was the wrong time and yeah, okay, it happens. Everyone has one of these.” 
“You still didn't want to talk to me about it.”
“Because the first thing you said when you saw me here was that I should be in Boston, like I was a fucking plague.” 
“I didn’t say that.”
“But implied. You looked like you just saw a ghost.”
“I was surprised.”
“... Really?” You sighed, brows raised in disbelief. He rolled his eyes at the teasing, but complied anyway. 
“Shocked.” 
“Yeah, that makes more sense.” 
“Still.”
“Mm.”
“You’re just as pretty as you were two years ago,” The sudden comment made you stop mid-sip, staring blankly at him at the admission. 
“I know,” You said casually, taking a full sip then and seeing him smile. 
“One of these days we can have a coffee together. You still haven't told me what it was like in London,” He changed the subject subtly. 
“I can tell you what it was like right now.”
“Can you.”
“It was nice.”
“Cold.”
“So cold,” You nodded. “Lots of smart people.”
“I could have guessed.”
“And good pubs with good beers.”
“Mm.”
“Simple like that.”
“I'm sure you have more details that you won't remember now.”
“Is it like a test? I have to study and say what satisfies you?”
“You're not my student anymore, I wouldn't do that. If it can make you say yes, though…”
“Oh no, it would make me say a huge no.”
“So tell me what would change your mind. I can work something out.” 
He wasn't serious, was he? You literally said he was toxic towards you and there he was, inviting you to coffee as if none of the conversation had happened. This made you shake your head negatively with an incredulous smile, looking around once again as if the answer was there, among the bookshelves and other things in his office.
“Well, if I remember correctly, you owe me a bottle of wine,” You said with nonchalance, getting up from your seat and groaning a little in the process. “Chilean. Camembert.”
He didn't respond to that either, perhaps because he knew it wasn't an invitation, but the opposite: a reminder that despite your willingness to set the record straight, it didn't mean you wanted to be friends. Because defining and being friends were different things and you were always very diligent in implying things in a confusing way. That wasn't in your words, nor in your tone; it was in the way you stood up and dismissed any chance that he might use the time as an opening for charm, a chance for reconciliation that probably had to do with your connections at Columbia and the effects that circumstance might have on his position. 
You went there to reaffirm that and only that. That you wouldn't be an obstacle, that he shouldn't be an obstacle, and that you had a bottle of Chilean wine from two years ago that hadn't been paid for from the right person.
Because the least he could have done when he showed up on a date he invited you to with another woman's perfume, smelling like another woman's sex, was pay for the damn bottle of wine.
------------------------------
The bottle of wine appeared on your desk in a discreet brown package, with no indication of its contents. There was no note, or anything written, just the glass, the label and the drink itself. You didn't smile at that. If anything, you took the bottle to a dinner you had at Rahul's house later that day, and when he asked, you just said you couldn't drink it all alone at home.
None of your friends drank alcohol that night. The empty bottle was in Rahul's recycling bin the next morning.
------------------------------
The truth, raw and honest, was that Jonathan was a visibly pathetic but attractive man. It was notable, whether in classes or at conferences, that even though he hid himself in department store-looking clothes, with a very disheveled look, Jonathan caught the attention of students, colleagues and people in general. This look probably only increased others' interest in him.
He walked with the confidence of any university professor in that age group, hiding in the personality of a father, an academic, who aroused curiosity, which whether or not it was a full plate for women with daddy issues or a sense of salvation.
Yes, then, he was fucking attractive.
You were never alone in the same place, at least not after the conversation in his office. What you had of Jonathan were these little pieces, fragments of his figure walking around campus and hallways, almost always distracted by something or just determined to get somewhere. He wasn't stupid, nor foolish, because he was aware that that effect made him gain some admirers, but maybe that was enough for you to hold on to these brief moments of Jonathan in your daily life.
He always looked back, in these halls and around campus. Briefly, just like you, with a succinct exchange of glances and a polite nod. Sometimes he would say 'good morning' to you and Rahul, or whoever was with him, and he would always look at you again when no one else was paying attention to him. Little by little, this made you feel that tingling again, the anxious heat of being under the watchful eye of someone for whom you had, even if unconsciously, a growing attraction.
One time he went to the research room because he knew one of your colleagues and, in the middle of a healthy discussion about a research method you were applying, he touched your forearm to get your attention, accompanied by a nod of the head and a 'do you remember when we did this?'.Afterwards, one of the Human Sciences professors invited you to follow a Socratic debate in the class and Jonathan was there, watching you so intently that he hardly turned his face to follow the next person speaking, and soon you started talking looking at him.
He didn't approach, as you suggested, but remained in your orbit.
Rahul was along with you when a peculiar interaction took place. The two were mentioning a new methodology for computing grades in the university system and you casually made notes on the subject. Jonathan turned to you and listened to each word with a look that wandered between your mouth, your gesturing hands and your eyes, which always had a roll, a squint or a widening. When he spoke again, you found yourself noticing his serene expression, the fingers that touched the beard just below his lips and how he scratched the right side of his neck every now and then, perhaps because the beard was growing in that area.
It was clear that Rahul had something to say as soon as you dispersed.
“I get it now.”
“Mm?”
“You and Jonathan,” He said with a calm tone, watching you go from confusion to shyness in a second. “This isn’t a judgment.”
“I know.”
“Because it's natural to have unconscious sexual tension between you.” 
You looked at him with raised eyebrows, stopping in your tracks to gather what he just said. 
“... Sexual tension?” 
He scoffed, rolling his eyes at your lack of realization. 
“Let's be honest, in these two years, despite what happened, you never imagined what it would be like with him?”
Rahul should have never opened his mouth to talk about this, because suddenly this hypothetical situation turned into a plague. In the shower, on a boring day, when the Facebook request caught your attention: you caught a glimpse of Jonathan. It wasn't that graphic and you didn't have hot dreams about it, but you knew what it felt like to be touched by him, what the weight and feel of his hands was like, his kiss, and sometimes you found yourself thinking about it.
When you saw him in person, walking around the university, you noticed how he ran his fingers through his hair, how the movement of his legs gave glimpses of the shape of his thighs, how his t-shirts and blouses sometimes missed a detail about his chest and stomach. This got worse when you started having some casual encounters with other guys. You went out with a bartender and when it was all over you realized that he looked a lot like Jonathan and that you spent the whole time in an imaginative world thinking it was him.
Damn, you thought. You couldn't keep your word for even a second.
------------------------------
When the inevitable happened, the two of you were alone - thank God. It was like a perfect, clichéd scenario: late at night, you were alone in the research room and he showed up looking for someone who wasn't you.
“I thought you were already home,” He said, looking around before landing his eyes at you, who were standing on the small ladder to return a folder to the filing cabinet.
It was a bad day to wear a skirt. You were sure that your tension at being attracted again, added to the lack of cloth on your legs, made you even more aware of the shiver you felt when you went down the steps and saw him close.
“I wanted to finish an article. I can think better when I'm alone, you know.”
“I know.”
The two of you looked at each other for a few moments and there it was, the tension palpable, the heat rising in your stomach and leaving you a little disconcerted. He got it. He took a step closer and it made you blink, looking away at the desk.
“Everyone left an hour ago, I think. If you're looking for Mr. Jones, he won't be back until Monday,” You said, fidgeting with the papers splayed out on the desk, trying to tidy it all into their respective places. 
His body was there, next to you, almost touching your arm but not quite. You knew he was very close by the heat and the scent, not having the courage to turn your face to see him.
“Is that so?” Jonathan asked, voice low. 
“Mm-hm.”
“Okay.” 
You organized the last stack of papers, took a breath and turned to him in time to see him measure the curvature of your ass against the skirt, as it was slightly inclined. He didn't hide it. In fact, he didn't even hide his observations as he glanced up at the discreet opening of the two buttons on your blouse before stopping at your face. 
His kiss was the same as the one you remembered, but this one had more certainty and heat. When your mouths met, sharing a wet kiss, Jonathan didn't hesitate to grab both of your ass cheeks, grunting when he felt them and squeezing them firmly. A chair was dragged as you let his tongue invade your mouth and soon you felt the edge of the table pressing you, which you understood immediately.
It was fast, almost desperate. You grabbed his hair when you heard the clasp on his belt come undone and you almost broke his glasses when you felt him roughly lift the fabric of your skirt. He didn't even care and you didn't apologize. Jonathan didn't prepare you either because he didn't need to - you were ridiculously wet. It was a firm penetration, which made you gasp against his mouth, without waiting, and soon the two of you were a mess of kisses and moans and whimpers with each aggressive thrust. 
The table creaked with the force of his hips and, fortunately, it resisted when Jonathan lifted one of your legs to go even deeper, even firmer. You moaned softly, restrainedly, and felt a bite at the junction of your neck and shoulder when he heard you moan his name. Jonathan was big, well endowed. You would feel all that the next day, but at that moment none of it mattered. It was a meeting of unresolved frustrations and aggressive, improvised, urgent sex.
He came inside after making you cum twice; he was hugging you when he did it. You were both panting, his face pressing against your neck as you held his head and hips, staring at the ceiling as you tried to regain your decency. 
You organized yourself in silence, without saying a word. Your panties were sticking, his spent dripping out of your pussy, but if he noticed, he didn't comment. The table hadn't been disorganized, at least, and you had to pull up the sleeves of your shirt with how hot you were feeling. 
“Sorry about it,” You were the first to say something, seeing him eyeing the crooked leg of the glasses carefully.
“It was already like this before, don't worry.”
“... Okay.”
You didn't know what to do with yourself, nor did he. For a moment, you just ran your hands over your skirt, then your mouth, then your hair, unsure whether you should say something or just let him go.
“Are you finished with your work?” Jonathan asked then, making you shake your head. 
“I’m done.”
“I’ll take you home then.”
------------------------------
You didn't tell Rahul, but you suspected he knew something as soon as you met on Monday. He didn't say anything, didn't even hint, and you were sure that if he really wanted to know, you would tell him. What you imagined, of course, was that maybe it was just a one-time, unexpected and certainly necessary thing that wouldn't happen again. And that you haven't stopped thinking about it.
God, you wished you could forget, but it was Jonathan and it happened. So, best case scenario, you've moved on, gotten back into the routine.
All the energy this began to drain from you, all this… vivid memory of the sighs of pleasure he let out in your ear, the mark he left on your neck and the grunts he made that night, that you wanted so much before and suddenly happened in an unusual way, you took it out on things in your life. Gym, morning runs, a little yoga, an extra half hour in Dylan's classes to watch him practice fencing, another extracurricular activity that Mr. Hastings made him do. Distractions, in fact, because you didn't want to poke at whatever that intense moment with Jonathan would trigger, even if it was poking you again.
“I get the impression you're trying to avoid me.”
He found you in the middle of an Architecture student exhibition on campus, scaring you while looking at a 3D project of a hospital or something like that. You glared at him, saw that he was focused on the students' table, and when you looked around, no one was paying attention to the two of you.
“I’m not.” Pfft. Of course. “What gave you that impression?
“After what happened, it's natural for you to avoid me if the sex was bad or if I was an asshole or if, I don't know, any other reason people avoid people after something like that.” 
“I don't know if you really want to know my answer.”
“I do. Tell me.”
You stared at him for a moment, then sighed when he showed no intention to run away from the topic. 
“It wasn't supposed to happen.”
“So you regret it.”
“No, not regret, I just… Does this sound even remotely healthy to you? The two of us suddenly fucking inside a room at this university?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time it ever happened here.”
“I’m serious, Jonathan.”
“Well, I am too. People here are traditional, not puritan. And we are both single people who are evidently attracted to each other,” He reasoned, that same stance of having two hands inside his pants pockets and a neutral expression on his face. 
You considered it with silence, then turned back to the project you weren’t even paying attention to begin with, working more as a way to move on from the topic. 
“The first time you really wanted to take me to dinner,” You mumbled. 
“The difference is that the first time I didn't know what I wanted. I know now.”
“And that do you want now?”
Jonathan approached discreetly, arm lightly touching yours as he also pretended to look at the architectural work in front of you.
“I want to fuck you without rushing.” 
------------------------------
Because that was it, just fucking. That's how things went, without the anxiety of seeing him every day, without the passionate hallucinations of what it would be like to have a 'relationship' with him. Jonathan went to your apartment most of the time because of Ava, but in the weeks she spent with Mira, you fucked all over his house: sofa, bed, bathroom, kitchen.
Mira wasn't an issue either because you didn't talk about it. You only asked once and demanded honesty, at least in this regard, and he said that the divorce had been consummated shortly after you went to London. You only knew about the times he spent with Ava because, after a while, the times he came to you were seasonal enough to form a pattern.
He asked about Europe again, with a more curious and attentive look. You said it was cool, actually, and surprising. When you mentioned Charles, he didn't react or make any comment on the matter.
“I heard you're going to try out for a substitute job after spring break.” 
You were leaning against the headboard of his bed when you heard him ask. Jonathan had come out of the bathroom after discarding the condom and was sitting next to you when he appeared with this curiosity.
“From Rahul?”
“Mm-hm.”
That made you shrug. 
“It’s not much.”
“It’s something.”
“Yeah,” You nodded, fidgeting with the sheet covering your legs. “But it's still not much. I will be paid per class and Columbia is very traditional in having consistent professors.”
He didn't answer that, which gave you comfort and relief. You didn't want to talk about work there, at that moment, where any objective had to do with everything except Columbia, except the rich students or the next semester's curriculum.
“Are you going to have to give up Dylan?” That was what he asked, starting to place gentle kisses on your shoulder, up to your neck. You gave him space, hand holding the back of his hair, buring your fingers into his messy curls. 
“Perhaps…” He bit your earlobe, making you sigh. “Why are we talking about it?”
“Mr. Hastings said a lot of nice things about you at that fundraiser.”
“The one you didn't want to go to?”
“Mm-hm…” Jonathan pulled the sheets away from your body, sliding between your now open legs and pressing more kisses on your belly, going lower to give some attention to your thighs. “Did you talk about this? About you leaving Dylan?”
“Vaguely,” You adjusted yourself, already expecting him to go just a little more bold with that closeness of his. 
“He looked quite upset.”
“Jealous?”
It was the first time that someone reached this criterion, which was trivial. You were even smiling when you said that. Well, Jonathan didn't smile. He stuck his head between your legs, made you cum with his mouth and nibbled on your lip as he penetrated your pussy with a long but deep movement.
Of all the meetings, that one was the most full of passion and desire. You left his house completely sweaty and sore. Two days later, when you met again, Jonathan invited you to dinner. You looked at him with an amused expression, not understanding where that was coming from.
“I was a scoundrel, that's all. I want to be able to have the right to be jealous of you without being a complete asshole.” 
That made you smile. Really smile. 
“You know you're going to need more than dinner for this, right?”
“What I know is that I can start with a bottle of wine,” He smirked. “Chilean, Camembert, yeah?” 
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raccoonfallsharder · 8 months
Text
fanfiction masterlist i guess ♡
*this masterlist is OLD! find the new masterlist here
here's what you need to know about what is behind this cut: lots of smut, always with feelings and fluff, praise kinks, dirty talk, maybe some light d/s, enthusiastic consent. a few clean headcanons/minifics & fan art of your amazing OCs
(it's all rocket raccoon, all the time) also, please let me love your OCs (doodle requests temporarily paused)
If you would like to be added to the fanfiction update taglist (or removed), please let me know via comment, message, or ask! ♡
recently updated
headcanon 8 - rocket, lylla, & drax [NEW posted 9/17] headcanon 9 - dad glasses [NEW posted 9/21]
Reconnaissance for Beginners: An Instruction Manual (Fourteenth Visit) [ONESHOT. added 9/18] Part Three of Domestic Scenes in Space Travel
Chapter 1/6 Year Zero: Seed [NEW posted 9/24] florescence ❀ (a meetgroot)
Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared. [WIP 9/27] Chapter XV. Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly. [WIP 10/5] Window Across the Galaxy
I can't keep up with updating my kinktober prompts on a daily basis (I'm honestly amazed I've managed to keep up with the writing as well as I have and I've only been doing this for a few days) So for now, please find them with the tag #rfh kinktober and when the month is over I'll make a masterlist. [NEW all month] based on @flightlessangelwings’ Kinktober 2023 Prompt List
[complete works behind the cut ♡]
spoilers: I have a preferred trope/formula that I lean into quite hard (girl falls first; raccoon falls harder) and while I do really love tragic fanfic, I firmly believe rocket's suffered enough of that so it's only happy endings here (even if it takes a minute to get there). Well, more or less, anyway.
Domestic Scenes in Space Travel
reader x rocket fluff, medium-burn?? (at least for Part One), smut. comics-based but you don't need any comics background knowledge to read this - you just need to enjoy fluff + smut + rocket (and be 18 i guess). multiple parts. see notes for summary + warnings.
The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl Part One of Domestic Scenes in Space Travel [COMPLETE 5/5 chapters] Summary: In Rocket Raccoon: Grounded (2016) / Issue #3, Rocket asks a stranger on the ferry to "make sure nobody does anything weird" to him while he naps, and the stranger just, like, abandons him while he's sleeping?? get in loser we're gonna fix it Chapter One (The First Visit) Chapter Two (The Second Visit) Chapter Three (The Third Visit) Chapter Four (The Fourth Visit) Chapter Five (The Fifth Visit) complete post - The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl
Outer Space Safety & Spaceship Maintenance Training (Ninth Visit) Part Two of Domestic Scenes in Space Travel [Oneshot. COMPLETE 8/21] Sequel to The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl [domestic fluff, dirty talk, oral sex - mind the ao3 tags.] Summary: Study Night. or - why study when you can seduce your hot local Space Pilot into oral? When you were a kid, you imagined yourself growing up, working a cool job, living in a cute house, getting a big dog, marrying, and having kids of your own. You've currently got none of those things, but you are getting regularly railed by a raccoon-shaped cosmic adventurer, and he's currently showing you around his spaceship. Which is kinda better than anything you could have dreamed up for yourself. [comics-inspired, though i'm fucking around with timelines/continuity and you really don't need any comics-context to ride this ride] complete post - Outer Space Safety & Spaceship Maintenance Training
Reconnaissance for Beginners: An Instruction Manual (Fourteenth Visit) Part Three of Domestic Scenes in Space Travel [Oneshot. COMPLETE 9/18] [domestic fluff, dirty talk, orgasm delay, bf/gf silliness. - mind the ao3 tags.] Summary: Date Night. in a gesture of true romance, rocket takes you to a dive bar. of all the stories he's shared with you, his favorites are the ones where he gets saved by the space princess. not that he'd tell you that. ˖⁺。˚⋆˙✧⋆。°✩☼⋆。°✩☽︎ loosely based on Rocket (2017): The Blue River Score. domestic bf/gf silliness & fluff. extensive smut. comics-knowledge isn't needed but HIGHLY recommend starting at the beginning of this collection for context (The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl).
florescence ❀ (a meetgroot)
[WIP: Year 0/5] [mcu-based, slight au, medium-burn, eventual smut circa chapter four. tentative allies to friends to lovers. the middle is angsty but there are only happy endings here. no use of y/n.] Summary: “The only chance we got is to get to the other side of the universe as fast as we can and maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to live full lives before that whack-job ever gets there.” Rocket & Groot leave their friends behind on Knowhere, despite the latter’s protests, and end up hiding out on a nothing-planet (with a non-extradition policy) at the edge of the Shi’ar Galaxy. It was the flowers that drew you in.
Chapter 1/6 Year Zero: Seed [NEW posted 9/24]
Blackmail Material
[WIP: Chapter 2/4] reader x rocket pwp with feelings; smut & fluff & love confessions. MCU-based, post-Endgame, friends-to-lovers. Summary: a classic tale of "this fuckin raccoon found your sex-toy." as per usual: girl falls first; raccoon falls harder. see notes for summary + warnings.
Chapter One: Blackmail Material Chapter Two: Self-Sufficience [NEW posted 8/29] Chapter Three: Firearms over Flowers ???
Window Across the Galaxy
[WIP: Chapter 15/25+] [NEW chapter posted 10/5] rocket x oc angst/hurt/comfort; slow burn + eventual smut with feelings. MCU-based. slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1. enemies to friends to lovers but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies. see notes for summary + warnings. could become 1 part of a 2-part series, if I have the energy/inspiration. Summary: Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.
Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship. Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron. Chapter III. A Kindness.in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last. Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food. Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave. Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units. in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course. Chapter VII. I'm Here.in which we visit Knowhere. Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets.in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.” Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking. Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way. Chapter XI. Let It Be. in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost. Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes. Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm. Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared. Chapter XV. Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly. [WIP 10/5]
Autopilot Systems Check [Oneshot. COMPLETE 9/3/2023] Est Word Count: 1409 reader x rocket soft fluff & domestica. MCU-based, post-Endgame i guess. Summary: reader wakes up in the middle of the night and rocket is nowhere to be found. drabble based on this post/inadvertent prompt.[complete post - Autopilot Systems Check]
Kinktober 2023
based on day 8 of @flightlessangelwings’ Kinktober 2023 Prompt List Kinktober Day 8: Turbulence. rocket needs you to hold. flarkin. still. [NEW 10/8]
Other Duties As Assigned
[WIP: ???] rocket x oc email romance/LDR (lol); slow burn + probable smut with feelings. Begins five months after The Snap. I don't have an intended outcome for this fic yet (just kind of rambling around) so this has the most uncertain publishing date. Summary: Natasha Romanoff is an administrative nightmare - a fact that does not go unnoticed by the (interim) captain of the Milano. First she demands that the remaining two Guardians of the Galaxy be reachable via a primitive Terran messaging system, and then she can't be bothered to read the frickin' emails. Thank fuck she's hired a new assistant.
Headcannons & Drabbles headcanon 1 - rocket & sex work headcanon 2 - rocket & occassional post-sex feelings headcanon 3 - quill & innocence/optimism headcanon 4 (minific/drabble) - rocket & nebula (2014) in endgame/post time-heist headcanon 5 (minific/drabble) - rocket & quill were scooped at the same time headcanon 6 - cinnamon roll peter quill continued headcanon 7 - rocket & nova corps headcanon 8 - rocket, lylla, & drax [NEW posted 9/17] headcanon 9 - dad glasses [NEW posted 9/21]
Fan Art of Your Amazing OCs (and maybe sometimes mine)
Rose (@love-for-faeries-go-burrrr ) & Moon (@glow-autumz) Thank you for letting me draw these two lovelies. You know I headcanon them as interdimensional besties ♡
Brita (@pretty-chips) is such a pure, delightfully fun character with record-store-clerk vibes. Thank you for letting me draw her. She is a glowing sunbeam-soul. ♡ another Brita wearing a terran t-shirt gifted to her by my oc, Jolie Spinner
Moon (@glow-autumz) Thank you again for letting me illustrate some of Moon's rad powers. i am OBSESSED. I appreciate so much you bringing her to life!
Chérie (Cherry) (@aliasrocket) I have a crush. 10/10 would attempt to flirt with (badly). Thank you so much for creating her and letting me doodle her!
Jolie (Window Across the Galaxy) - my gremlin child. just some scritchy-scratchy character concepts. feel free not to look if you want to imagine Jo in your own way. ♡ the "real" Jolie doodle - refined, finished, && in color
Fleuret (I think?) (@elegant-fleuret) is my personal caffeine deity. i now pray to her for the ability to scrap myself out of bed and deliverance from coffee crashes. she is also the dj of knowhere which is possibly the coolest fucking job in the universe and i would like to be her friend.
Star (@cleo-is-babygirl) is a pure fluffy little sundrop and a brilliant self-taught medic/surgeon. she is also the first tanuki/anthropomorphic animal i have drawn other than rocket so i was very nervous but i did my best. thank you for letting me try something new and expand my experience, friend!
Juno (@lazarel-3000) is one of my favorite OCs ever. she is everything. i want to be her && i want to date her (unfortunately she only has eyes for rocket).
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