#i literally just. i cannot tell them apart or remember their names for the life of me

[wellgoslowly]

Lockwood and Co. How do I begin to talk about this insane universe that has literally changed my life in so many ways in such a small amount of time?

I think it was probably January 27th that I actually got the notification for the trailer for the show from Netflix’s Youtube. I don’t know exactly what it was that made me interested in the trailer in the first place and set it apart from the hundreds of trailers that netflix has posted that I’ve ignored, but there was just something about it that made me think “oh, this looks interesting, let me take a look at the trailer.” Thank god I did.

If I were to go back in time to that version of linnie and tell them that their life was about to be changed, I think they would’ve laughed. At that period of time I’d had a 2 year long hyperfixation on the grishaverse and I couldn’t think of anything that would’ve possibly broken me out of that long ass period of chaos. And then I watched Lockwood and Co and I immediately fell in love with an entirely new world.

Lockwood and co means so much to me for so many reasons. One of them is that I’ve never seen myself more reflected in a character than I see myself in Lucy Carlyle- hence the name Linnie. I didn’t even realize it until Aaron ( @queer-and-nerdy ) pointed it out (after I pointed out how much of a George kinnie they are) and then everything made sense in a way? Like Lucy Carlyle is the truest form of a comfort character for me because we are basically the same person and I never realized how special a character could be until I met Lucy Joan Carlyle.

Another reason why I love this universe so much is because I love found family, and I love the found family that Jonathan Stroud has written. The Iron Trio will always be so special to me because of how often it is shown and how deeply it is known that they love each other unconditionally, Even George and Lucy, who have their differences when they first meet, grow to love each other in their own way and I genuinely believe that the family found within the Iron Trio is one of the most beautiful relationships I’ve ever read or seen portrayed on screen.

I also just truly love the worldbuilding. The world that Jonathan Stroud has created has such an amazing homely feel to it that I will never tire of. I love literally everything about it- the lore, the execution, the way that he was able to make ghosts even more terrifying for such a young audience.

Lastly, I love the fandom. I’ve talked a little bit about how much a kind and welcoming fan space like the l&co tumblr means to me and how I have had rocky situations in a fandom in the past, but I truly cannot even begin to talk about how much this online space has truly changed me in so many ways. I feel like I can have open, honest, and constructive opinions on here without being scared to speak my mind or fear the repercussions of not being 100% happy all the time. This fandom is the most accepting and loving fandom I have ever known, and I’d like to tag a few of the people who have made this place so loving and enjoyable to partake in. Shout out to @ikeasupremacy @oblivious-idiot @losticaruss @youmanynotrestnow @neewtmas @thisgameissonintendo @readyafterthesunrise @waitingforthesunrise @yveni @uku-lelevillain @impossibleclair @donutcats @jesslockwood @kazbrekkerfast @krash-and-co @carlyleandco @biscuitrule @maraschinomerry @lockwood-lover @lvockwoods @givemea-dam-break @someonetooksendnoodles @nomolosk @thedonutdeliverygirl @neverendinglabyrinth @tangledinlove - I defo missed a lot of people but these are just the few that I could remember right off the top of my head <33

All in all, I love this show and these books and this world more than I could ever possibly express. Happy 10th Birthday to The Screaming Staircase, and a very Happy Lockwood & Co Day to all whom I have the honor of celebrating with. I love you all very dearly, and remember: “just reckless enough”.

xoxo,

linnie <3

[thelureking]

I had this idea to make a list of all the games I played in 2022, half as a recommendation list, and half because I struggle to remember when I played what. I have a really bad time ranking stuff, so I'll just list them chronologically (or, as chronologically as I can remember).

Note: Sometimes I dont have a lot to say about a game, but that doesnt mean I didn't like it or that it isn't good.

So, with that being said:

1) Our Life: Beginnings and Always

This game has put visual novels on another level entirely. How must I go on knowing that I will never be treated like royalty by any other game like this did. Our Life tells the story of your friendship and/or romance with Cove Holden, your new neighbor. This Visual Novel remembers an insane amount of stuff you choose, and it can put you in the state of mentioning something you did as a kid that you completely forgot about. I actually really liked how you can go the entire game as just friends, or choose when your character develops romantic feelings. I cannot overstate how well made this entire thing is. Can't wait to play the DLCs and for the sequel to be released.

Absolute recommend.

2) Iron Lung

If you have a computer, you can play it. It is not an option.

Claustrophobic above all, this game captures the pure dread of the unknown, building tension and atmosphere as you travel through this unknown planet's red sea. Highly recommended.

3) An Outcry

Amazing game that I don't see enough people talking about. The first game that made me actually physically ill while playing an alternative route. I don't know what hit me the most, the subject matter or the type of person I played in that route, a person I know exists and maybe I've met, a person I hope I never become. I knew what the game was specifically referencing, but I found it good that it was able to trigger that response on someone who lives in an entirely different place, with different historical events, but with enough similarities that made the feeling of dread and disgust that much real. Its message is clear and loud as it should be, and one that I think maybe now more than ever needs to be heard. I cannot recommend this game enough.

4) Stillwater

Now this is a Visual Novel that I really liked and would have loved for it to be longer, but I love it as it is. It left me wanting more about the world and its characters, and I think that's a good thing. It feels unfair that this is the one I typed the least about, knowing how much I liked it. It's really worth the read/play.

5) The Caribbean Sail

Have you ever wanted to be a sailor or a pirate? Have you ever wanted to grab a ship, sail into unknown destinations, encounter supernatural phenomenons and watch as your fellow crew members die of disentry five seconds after leaving your first port? Because if so, I have the perfect game for you. It's inspired by the Oregon Trail game, and that's literally what the gameplay is like, except on the sea. Which was enough of a selling point for me.

6) Carrion

My child, it has every disease. Loved the concept when I saw the trailer, forgot I can actually buy games now, and then proceeded to do that. Being able to live my fantasies of being a flesh creature that destroys and eats everything in its path was a delight. The creature is my child and I love it very much.

We need more games that let you play as the monster, I'm serious.

7) The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante

This game is both my beloved and the thorn on my side. Who would have thought that in a game like this you would proceed to suffer through life? I said to myself as if I hadn't known what I was getting into. You'll experience loss, you'll struggle to make a name for yourself, your family will fall apart, and you may never kiss your best friend Tommas who gave you a totally platonic ring to commemorate your friendship because the game doesn't want you to.

Or you'll have a different experience than me on my first playthrough.

You follow the titular Sir Brante from the moment of his birth to his last breath, exploring the world he lives in, full of injustices that at times made me go "I do not care about the lots, give me a fucking gun so I can take you to the fucking Twins". There are many branches regarding life paths, the fate of your family and that of the entire city you live in. But don't worry about it now, keep looking at those toy soldiers at the store as a little kid, I'm sure nothing will happen in the future.

8) Princess Maker 2 Refine

And apparently I didn't get enough of walking a kid through life.

Who looks at a game about raising a little girl by managing her monthly schedule and balancing her stats, health and money and says "yes, this is the game I'll play to destress"?

I do that. Don't ask why.

I have only reached two endings, in one my beautiful daughter became the royal painter, her art held as the most beautiful and inspiring in the entire world. In another, my girl made a name for herself by exploring the lands surrounding the kingdom, so fast on her feet nobody could even scratch her; she married a dragon prince and became the teacher of her own fighting school.

And even with all of that, her goddess mother was not happy.

So yes, this is the "divorced dad who got custody" experience.

9) Planescape: Torment

What can change the nature of a man? That is a question posed by one Ravel Puzzlewell, night hag of the Gray Wastes. It is one of the many questions that this game asks, intertwined by the many philosophies it presents. Planescape Torment does not stick to one question, it asks many, and it lets you answer.

It is a beautifully written game, one of the best I have ever read. There is one moment that I do not wish to spoil, but it still sticks to my head months after I experienced it. As a writer, I found myself fascinated by how a certain event was told, all because of the way it was presented.

It feels like an injustice to not talk in length about Planescape: Torment, but I seriously don't want to spoil anyone who hasn't played it yet. A blind experience is fully worth it. All you need to know is that this is the game that made me post for the first time here, two dumb memes for myself and one short analysis that sometimes reminds me that yes, people can interact with it. Shameless link to it here

10) Growing my Grandpa!

If I had to describe this game without saying too much, I would say it's "heartwarming horror". Two words that don't usually go together, but that they perfectly fit here. The story is, like the title says, about growing your grandpa, more like helping a girl grow her grandpa, but still. Strangely sweet and unnerving, I was tense the entire time, and even when I had to replay it to get the second ending (this was entirely my fault, since I could have gotten it way easier) that tension never left.

11) FAITH: The Unholy Trinity

I don't remember how I found out about this game, but I remember waiting patiently for it to get a steam release so I could buy it and play its three chapters all together. The day finally came, and all that waiting was worth it.

The gameplay is simple, yet the developers found a way to have me both crying in fear and frothing by the mouth out of anger every time I saw the game over screen (affectionately). In terms of difficulty, I would say the game is easy until it isn't, looking at you Chapter 2 and 3 Final Bosses, you bastards. Then again, I saw people say they struggled in places I didn't, so I would say it depends on the player.

The story is so interesting and it's still marinating in my brain please I need people to talk about how the prologue of chapter 2 and the one note in chapter 3 relate please. The cutscenes are also so well done, and I had to restrain myself from using one as a second picture because I didn't want to spoil any of them.

All in all, a must play, fully recommend it.

And remember:

GARY LOVES YOU

12) Inmortal Mantis

This is a tricky one. On one hand, the game starts off by basically spelling out every action you have to do, and suddenly it goes full on "fuck around and find out" mode. On the other, the game implements some interesting mechanics that I would love to see developed on a longer game, but I am not going to put the length against it while knowing how hard it is to make a game. And maybe being short plays in its favor.

13) Who's Lila?

This game is my King in Yellow. I cannot stop thinking about it. I finished it with all endings and achievements in a day, and it wont leave me alone. It is always there, forever crawling at the back of my head, stretching itself over my brain and weaving my thoughts into a spiral as easily as a spider weaves its thread. It made itself a home in my mind and I won't kick it out any time soon. I played it because the concept of controlling a character's face in place of a dialogue wheel was interesting, and the story and the way it's presented (hand in hand with the gameplay) lured me deeper and deeper. I cannot even describe it without giving it the praise it deserves. It takes full advantage of its medium. Playing this game is an experience that I can't recommend enough, and I'm surprised it hasn't gotten the recognition it deserves.

14) Someone stole MY LUNCH!

This visual novel is pure fun. The humor is so good I found myself reading the entire thing out loud while wheezing. I actually found out recently that it's made by the same people that made Stillwater, which, looking at it now I should have known. It's good and I'm not still over not seeing that one joke coming; well played.

15) MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF-

... INSIDE A BAG OF MILK is a short visual novel about a girl going to the grocery to buy milk, and the challenge this seemingly small action can be. It is your responsibility to help her through this.

The steam page description perfectly summarizes it: "This is an artistic manipulation with word and form, only then - a game."

[dreamersparacosm]

austin butler - into you [part 4]

warnings ; this does indeed contain smut and lots of it 

prompt ; in which fate keeps bringing you and austin together. or, in which you two finally figure it out. 

a/n ; i cannot BELIEVE this is the final part of this series :( im gonna miss it so much!! and for that, i present to you a two part smut (its literally 11k words) i have fed yall for eons and this is the grand finale. also - the word ‘dress’ has links attached to it so u can see what i envisioned the reader wearing at the events (quotev core) thank you guys so much for sticking with this series. <3 with that said, enjoy!!

part one | part two | part three 

It had been a month. Thirty days. That’s how long you had gone without seeing Austin. Well, not exactly. You did see him; on the cover of magazines, interviews, etc. By far, your favorite source was Twitter, where you got a front row seat as to who he was dating at the moment. Last week, he was seen with Kaia Gerber. This week, it was some other random girl who’s name you didn’t even bother to remember. I turned down so many girls for you, he had said. Clearly, he was okay with reaching out to them again. Yet, with you, it was stone cold silence. To be fair, you had never responded to his heartfelt text message. You also might have blocked his number. You did mean to reply. However, days ticked by and you kept ‘meaning to’ respond, but never actually did. Instead, you let your eyes stare at the message for hours before crying some more.

You also spent most of your nights crying over the pictures of him with other girls. He looked happy. In theory, it was what you wanted for him, but after spending the past two years learning about his favorite childhood memories and the foods he only ate when he was drunk, you hated the idea of anyone else having him. You also despised the idea of someone touching him like you had. Or, even worse: him kissing someone like he used to kiss you. Pretending you still didn’t harbor feelings for him was proving to be more difficult than you thought.

“You ready to go?” Your best friend, Megan, spoke from the bathroom of your apartment. She was your date to the W Magazine’s annual party, and seeing as you had no new suitors in your life, you thought it was best to go with a friend. Your publicist had offered numerous times to set you up with someone, but you declined, saying ‘it was no use to spend time with a man you wouldn’t like.’

Nevertheless, you were ready. Well, sort of. You were still sitting on your bed in your black dress, mindlessly scrolling through the pictures of Austin with his new girl of the week. Megan rounded the corner, sighing when she saw you still on your phone. “[Y/N], we have to stop doing this,” she sat down next to you, taking your phone out of your hand and turning it off. “Why don’t you just reach out to him?”

“It’s not that easy,” You muttered. You meant that. The fear of rejection was far greater than anything else. You didn’t want him to tell you he had found someone better who was ready to love him the way you couldn’t.

“He told you he loved you, and I really think he meant that! No one says that during sex AND in a text message if they don’t feel that way about you,” Megan scoffed, rubbing your back soothingly as she comforted you.

“I know he loves me, I do,” you played with your hands in your lap, staring down at the floor. “I just wish I hadn’t been stupid enough to not tell him I love him the way that he loves me, and want to be with him.”

“Listen, I’m not gonna tell you everything’s going to be okay. But, what I can promise, is you are the most beautiful person ever. You are an amazing actress and friend, and the world needs to see that tonight,” she stood up, placing her hands on her hips. “Now, are you gonna get up and do a twirl for me, or do I have to make you?”

You pursed your lips, looking up at her. You appreciated the kind words, knowing she had the best intentions. It was just hard to imagine yourself smiling for the cameras and posing on a red carpet. “If I have no choice-“

“No, no, no,” she grimaced at your words. “That is not the spirit. There are going to be hot men galore at this event, and you mean to tell me you’re not the least bit excited?! Who’s to say you won’t meet your soulmate there tonight?”

These were very true words. Although your hope for love was slim to none at that point, there was no way you were going to win an argument against Megan. She had seen you through your worst breakups, but deep down, she knew she had never seen you this depressed over a man before. Megan knew the basics of the story between you and Austin, but didn’t want to pry and open a can of worms. Mustering all the courage you could, you stood up, meeting her height in your heels. “If I don’t meet my soulmate tonight, I’m blaming it on you.”

She chuckled, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “You can do whatever you want as long as you get in that car downstairs. I promised your manager we would be on time and we’re definitely not going to be.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I made the same promise to her,” you laughed before grabbing your handbag and following her out the door of your apartment where your driver waited for you patiently. The two of you hopped into the car, jamming out to music along the way. You hadn’t been to a red carpet event in over two years, and to say you were nervous was an understatement. You forgot what it was like to be under the bright lights, to have camera flashes blinding you. It used to be a drug for you, to have that much attention on you at once. Now, it just felt like a chore. It was almost as if Megan could sense your nerves, and she reached out to place a hand on top of yours.

“You got this tonight. I am going to be right there with you every step of the way. Not only because I want my picture taken, but also because I love you,” She smiled, and the first part elicited a giggle out of you. You knew she was right. You had been doing red carpets since you first entered Hollywood, and you knew how to excite a crowd.

The car screeched to a halt, and you heard the screams of commoners that were barricaded behind silver bars. Once you saw your supporters, you knew it would all be worth it and you would be reminded as to why you adored being an actress. You gave Megan a knowing smile before exiting the car, your driver propping the door open for you. Almost immediately, cameras began to capture your glamorous exit from each angle. “[Y/N]!” They yelled out, all trying to get your attention simultaneously.

“Oh thank god, there you are,” your manager rushed up to you from around the corner, rolling her eyes as she checked her watch. “I knew you were gonna be late so I lied about the time you had to get here. At least now you’re on time to pose on the carpet.”

“Bad time tonight,” Megan spoke up from behind you, eyebrows pointing towards you as your manager seemed to catch her drift.

“Great, perfect, fine,” she said, slowly walking you towards the beginning of the carpet. “Remember, big, big smiles! You’re a big Hollywood actress and there are talks about new movies you’re going to be in next year so I need you alive and ready to answer all questions.”

You knew the drill. Pose where they told you to, answer what they wanted to hear. You nodded in agreement, flattening out your dress and tossing your hair behind your shoulders. You strutted towards the entrance of the carpet, turning around to look at Megan for support again. She smiled, giving you two big thumbs up. I can do this, you told yourself. I am okay. Tonight, I am okay.

And, with that, you took your first step onto the carpet. “[Y/N]! [Y/N]! Look this way!” Photographers yelled at you from all angles, and you focused your eyes straight ahead, smiling slightly as you posed for the cameras. You always made sure to give them a show, and you blew multiple kisses to the cameramen. You saw your manager and Megan had migrated to the opposite end of the carpet, waiting for you to finish your photoshoot. However, for one moment, you basked in the glory. You were on top of the world. You finally felt as if you were back where you belonged, and nothing, or anyone, could take that away from you.

Your manager beckoned you to come over to the end of the carpet, and you waved goodbye to the crowd walking over. “That was amazing, babe! You look so good, the magazines tomorrow are going to eat this up.”

“I hope so,” you grinned. “That was the best I’ve felt in years! I forgot how much I love-“

You were interrupted by Megan’s incessant tapping on your shoulder. You scrunched your eyebrows, turning to look at her. She gulped, leaning down into your ear, “Please, please do not turn around. We are going to go inside and have a good time. We are going to drink lots of champagne and get drunk.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You rolled your eyes, looking behind her to see what she was talking about. Sure enough, you wished you hadn’t.

Austin Butler stood on the red carpet in a black suit, a silver chain adorning his neckline. He looked amazing. He smiled and waved at the cameras, and it seemed like he knew exactly how to pose. He always knew what he was doing. Despite him being humble, there was no denying that he was going to be the most attractive man at the event that night. Your vision went blurry, mind reeling as flashbacks of your relationship with Austin flew through your brain. Your heart could barely contain itself in your rib cage. You knew you had to see him again at one point, but tonight? Tonight was the first night you were ready to allow yourself happiness, and it was all crumbling down. The weight of a thousand bricks felt as if they had collapsed onto your chest.

Soon enough, he had caught your gaze.

He froze in his tracks, mouth slightly gaping open as he took you in. Your black dress had a slit in it that showed off enough of your leg to leave it up to imagination. Red lipstick ran across your plump lips, hair done in perfect curled waves. He thought you looked stunning. You immediately looked away, incessant curse words flying out of your mouth. “Oh my god, it’s [Y/N] and Austin! Come together for pictures!”

You were sure you were going to strangle the cameraman who just said that. However, you had quite literally no choice or say in the matter. Before you knew it, your manager was side-eyeing you, nudging you in the direction of Austin, the man you were pretending you weren’t desperately in love with. It felt as if time had stopped completely. You re-entered the carpet, ready to give the performance of a lifetime. Because, now, with about 10 cameras around, you two had to pretend as if the last two years had not happened. You had to act as if you weren’t longing for his touch, to ask how his day with, to hear his laughter again. At that moment, you two were just co-stars. Nothing hurt more than that. You finally reached him, and he smiled at you feebly as he snaked an arm around your waist, smiling for the cameras.

No tears. No crying. You had to repeat it to yourself twenty times. You smelled his scent before, but now, it felt like daggers to your heart. You had all these secrets about him bottled up inside of you, and now you had to pretend like it meant nothing. After what seemed like forever, you finally removed yourself from his embrace, thanking the camera and nearly jogging off the carpet. Austin knew better than to chase after you and yell your name, although, that is all he wanted to do. You grabbed Megan’s hand, and she gave it a firm squeeze as you two entered the event. Loud rap music echoed from the speakers, and chatter bounced off the walls. “Are you okay?” Megan whispered in your ear, coming out as more of a small yell.

“Absolutely not,” you shook your head. “But I will be after I get a drink.”

“That’s the spirit,” she patted your back, leading you to the bar area where you both ordered ‘extra strong’ vodka cranberries. You surveyed the room, hoping to see others that you knew. Among some of the attendees were Andrew Garfield and Jamie Dornan, faces you recognized almost immediately. One of the most thrilling things about being a celebrity was the extravagant parties that were always happening, and it was usually filled with familiar faces; from movies or red carpet events.

“How is everyone here so attractive?” Megan screamed into your ear as you both downed your drinks, ordering another round soon after. It was true, everyone there was beyond gorgeous. You and Megan went back to searching around the room for anyone interesting, and your heart almost flew out of your body as you saw Kaia Gerber in the corner, making friends with some other actors.

“You have got to be kidding me,” You closed your eyes, taking another sip of your drink. Megan looked over to where you were looking previously and widened her eyes at the sight of the model.

“Oh my god, do you think they came here together?” She asked innocently, feeling buzzed off the drinks she had consumed.

“I really fucking hope not,” you finished your second drink, motioning to the bartender to make you another one. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they did, though. He was spotted with her 2 weeks ago.”

“Jeez, you really have been stalking him,” Megan crossed her arms over her body, standing in front of you to block you from staring at Kaia. “Listen, we just need to dance and forget about him. If he wants you, he’ll come get you. And if not, we will find you someone hotter at this party.”

You were starting to feel a buzz throughout your whole body, so you let Megan guide you to the dance floor. The DJ was playing overplayed music that allowed you to dance to all the lyrics. It was just the right kind of moment you needed with your best friend. Laughing at each other’s dance moves, you both swatted off multiple men trying to join in on your little dance circle. However, despite the constant distractions, you managed to make eye contact with Austin as he talked to Kaia.

You didn’t want to let him get to you again, so you just ignored it. It was proving hard to do that because you could feel his eyes burning holes into your body as you danced to your favorite song. He didn’t want to look at you. He wanted to focus on what he had in front of him, to see if you still cared about him and make you jealous. He just couldn’t stop looking at you. And you really hated the way his eyes felt on you. By accident, you made eye contact with him again, and you watched as he broke your gaze, leaning in to kiss Kaia. You couldn’t even register what was happening, and you didn’t even want to bother being in his presence anymore. Without letting Megan know too much, you tapped her shoulder, causing her to pause her dancing. “Hey, I’m gonna catch some fresh air. I’ll be right back.” She nodded, resuming right where she left off.

You exited the doors of the event, taking deep breaths to try and calm yourself. You saw the sign for the restroom, and you deemed it best to hang out in there before you had to go in again. It was too early for you to leave, and your manager would have a fit if you even tried it. You could barely get a chance to open the door to the single-stalled bathroom before you felt a hand on your waist, gently pushing you into the bathroom. Whipping around, you came face to face with Austin. “What the fuck are you doing in here?!” you quipped immediately, “This is a bathroom.”

“This is the only way I could get you to talk to me,” He retorted.

“Get out of here!” Your voice raised in a threatening tone, however, he seemed unnerved by your words. He knew you did not mean it. “You can’t just follow me in here and expect for us to just have a grand ol’ chat.”

“[Y/N], I just have some things I want to say-“

“No, no,” you moved towards the bathroom door, trying to make your escape, but Austin blocked the door as soon he saw you migrate in that direction. “Just let me through! I don’t want to talk to you, don’t you get it? We have literally nothing to talk about.”

“You really believe that?” He chuckled sarcastically.

“Yes, I do,” you spoke through clenched teeth. “You need to go back out there to your girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he rolled his eyes. He knew you were going to be difficult, and he hated to admit that was one of the things he loved most about you. You always stood your ground during situations, whether it be in his favor or not. “We’re just hanging out because my publicist set us up.”

“Yeah, and I bet you’re having fun with that,” You tried to move past him again, but he gripped your shoulders, placing you in front of him. You shrugged his grip off your shoulders, clenching your jaw and looking away. “Holding hands, kissing all over the place-“

“What, are you jealous or something?”

You were. You had never been more jealous in your life. The thought of him holding and kissing Kaia pained you more than you could admit to him. The past month, Austin had taken note that you weren’t photographed with any men. In fact, social media hadn’t been an accurate source on you, because you had gone MIA after flying back to the U.S. He had tried tracking you down to see what you were up to, but you had made it nearly impossible.

“No.”

“You love lying, don’t you?”

“Oh, go fuck yourself,” you shoved his shoulder, hoping to get access to the door, but that didn’t get you very far. “Austin, I’m really not in the mood for this. I was having a good night-“

“Doing what, staring at me and Kaia?” He couldn’t help but crack a small smile. He knew what he was doing to you, and in a way, he almost enjoyed your incessant cat-and-mouse game.

“No. Enjoying my night with my friend, which I would love to get back to doing.” You were definitely lying again. Knowing that he was willing to trap you in a bathroom left you with some, to put it nicely, rated R thoughts. However, you knew it was wrong to do that to Kaia. You just wanted him so bad.

“Listen, [Y/N], I’ve tried reaching you numerous times. I tried calling you, texting you, I even reached out to your publicist. So, if trapping you in the bathroom is the only way I can talk to you, then so be it,” he took a step towards you, and you couldn’t even move. You were glued in your spot. You had blocked his number after he had texted you while you were on the plane home, so you weren’t made aware of any advances he made towards you.

“What is there even to talk about?” You questioned, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I know you love me. And honestly, I’m very in love with you too. I don’t want to play these games with you anymore,” His eyes pierced into yours, and in that moment, you felt tiny. You knew everything he was saying was true, and you wanted to do better and be better but you weren’t sure if you were there yet.

“So what if I love you? It doesn’t mean anything, Austin. It’s still not going to work between us,” You reminded him.

“[Y/N], I want to make this work. Please. I haven’t stopped thinking about you ever since our last conversation,” He took one more step towards you, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. “Do you want me?”

Your voice was no louder than a whisper. “I-I don’t know. Fuck, I don’t- I can’t. I don’t know what I want,” you tried to keep your composure as you took in his scent, his pheromones bouncing off the walls.

“I want you. And I don’t want just the sex. I want the cuddles at night, I want the ‘I love you’s’ I want the dinner dates. I know it’s scary for you, but I want to show you that it doesn’t have to be,” He reached out to move a strand of your hair behind your ear, and you looked up at him.

“Do you want me?” He repeated.

“Austin, it’s not that simple,” There was no going back now. He already had you in too deep.

“Why can’t it be?” He retorted, his hand moving to prop your chin up, never breaking eye contact for a moment.

“You want me?” You had to hear his answer, although you knew what it would be.

“Yes.”

He didn’t hesitate for a second, knowing that if he waited a minute too long, you would panic again. Deep down, every part of you was itching to kiss him again. Oh, how you had missed the feeling of his plump, pink lips against yours. “We shouldn’t do this, Austin,” his lips were now mere inches away from yours. The tension in the room was palpable, you could cut it with a knife. You couldn’t. You shouldn’t. But, he had set your entire body on fire and you couldn’t look away from his piercing gaze.

“Why not?”

You gulped again, his hand still grazing your chin. “Because you have a girl out there waiting for you.”

“This isn’t about her. This is about me and you, right now,” He replied, tone down to a whisper. Lips almost touching, he murmured, “Say the words, and I’m yours.”

You didn’t have to say the words. He already knew your answer. With one look at his lips, you found yourself leaning forward and messily pressing your lips against his. He fell backwards against the bathroom door, leaning behind to lock it as his other free hand found your waist. Hoisting you up with one arm, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he navigated towards the sink countertop, setting you down gently. Your legs remained around his waist, lips never wavering away from him for a moment. You pulled him in as close you possibly could, trying to feel as much of him. His hands moved to cup your cheeks, guiding you as he slipped his tongue in between your lips, and you felt your body become electric again. You had craved this feeling. You needed this.

He began to kiss down your neck, and little moans fell from your mouth as he pushed your chin up. He sucked on the sweet spot in the middle of your neck, leaving something that was sure to raise eyebrows tomorrow. You didn’t even care if anyone saw it, you were too lost in the pleasure to care about anything anymore. “I want to make sure everyone knows you’re mine,” His tone had darkened. You cupped his face in your hands, kissing him again with as much passion as you could muster. You had never missed anyone more than you had missed him.

“I need you,” You spoke in between kisses. Fuck your ego, fuck your self-respect. All of it went down the drain when he was kissing you. He reached behind your back, slowly and teasingly unzipping your dress. His shirt and blazer were nearly torn off his body, anticipation seeping through your bloodstream.

“This dress is an absolute stunner, by the way,” he whispered in your ear as it dropped to the floor below the sink. “Nearly came in my pants the minute I saw you in this.”

You were left in your matching black corset that was worn underneath your dress, and black lace underwear. Austin’s eyes glazed over your body, hunger clouding his vision as he pulled you back in for a passionate kiss. His hand moved towards your neck, lightly choking you as his lips danced against yours. “Get on your knees, baby. Need to see your pretty little lips wrapped around my cock.”

The wetness that had pooled in your underwear grew at his words, but you obeyed him immediately, getting off the sink and feeling the cold tile against your knees. You palmed his erect cock through his dress pants, looking up at him seductively through your eyelashes. He groaned at the look in your eyes. “I missed how hard you would get for me,” you spoke softly, slowly unzipping his pants to reveal his boxers.

“It’s all for you,” His voice crackled slightly near the end of his sentence as you pulled down his boxers, his erection falling out, red and throbbing with precum. You dropped your head down to lick his pulsing tip. Austin let out a low moan as he studied you intensely. His hands gripped your hair as you slowly sucked the head of his penis into your mouth. You moved at an excruciatingly slower rate, dipping a little further. You then took him out of your mouth, only to pause, establish direct eye contact, and go even deeper the next time. Austin trembled as you swirled your tongue around his tip, which you knew was his most sensitive area. "Fuck," he had to hold the countertop next to him to keep from falling over with ecstasy.

He'd never forget how it felt to have you all to himself, seeing how you looked with his member within your mouth. As you began to move up and down faster on his cock, all he could think about was how your mouth felt better than he remembered. He ached to be buried so deep inside of you, making you scream his name and letting every single person at this event know who you belonged to. Austin refused to take his gaze away from you, and he couldn't take it any longer. His hand pressed against your head, allowing you to delve deeper onto his cock.

Austin grabbed your hair in a sloppy ponytail, causing you to move quicker. He moaned and closed his eyes before bucking his hips and ramming into your mouth. His tip started hitting the back of your throat, making you gag. His eyes shot open wide at the sound and sensation it created around his cock. Your lips swallowed the entirety of his member. If you kept going at this rate, Austin knew he wouldn't be able to last. His stomach muscles tensed, and he soon recognized the familiar sensation. As you licked a stripe on the vein on the bottom of his length, he felt himself twitch in your mouth. Noting that he was close, you removed your lips from him, wiping your mouth with your finger and taking a taste. “You always taste so good, baby.”

Slowly getting up, you leaned in to kiss him again, and he tasted himself on your lips. He needed to be inside of you, now. You pulled away from his lips, smiling at him coyly before kissing down his neck. He appreciated the teasing, but he had never craved to be buried deep inside of you like this before. “Oh,” he moaned softly, like putty in your hands. You placed your lips back on his, stumbling backwards onto the countertop of the sink, where you found yourself sitting upright. Austin moved in between your open legs, sliding your panties to the side, pressing two fingers to your bundle of nerves. You jumped at the contact, biting your own lip to contain the moans. He began to rub circles around your throbbing core, and you threw your head back, letting a few moans fall from your lips. Austin knew exactly where you needed him, and wanted to get you there as fast as he could. “God, sweetheart, you’re always so wet for me.”

He watched as you squirmed under his touch, and he stuck one finger into your entrance, causing curse words to exit your lips. He thought you looked gorgeous during this moment, when you were losing control of yourself. “Please, more,” you whimpered, and he obeyed, sticking his index finger into you. Pumping them in and out of you, he curved his fingers to meet your g-spot, and you yelled in response. Your entire body shook with delight, and you could barely hold yourself together. He was hitting your sweet spot while simultaneously rubbing your clit. It was all too much for you to handle as you felt yourself get lost in the pleasure. Stars washed over your vision as you screamed out his name along with other profanities, streams of liquid exiting your body. He watched as you squirted onto the countertop, your legs shaking incessantly as you rode out your high. He had never seen you do that before, and he was about to come just from the sight.

Before you had a chance to gather yourself, he pulled your legs towards the edge of the countertop, slamming into you with all his might. You gripped the edge of the sink, your clit still throbbing and red. “Austin!” You screamed out as he overstimulated you, burying himself so deep inside of you he could’ve sworn he saw his member reach your stomach. You leaned forward, clawing down his back. “Oh my god, baby, I can’t-“

“Take it,” he spoke firmly. You had no choice but to listen, your walls still clenching from your previous orgasm around him. He suddenly pulled out of you, helping your limp body off the sink as he posed you in front of the mirror, your back to him. You took the moment to look at the two of you in the mirror. Sweat beaded at his forehead and your makeup was a disaster. He ran a finger through your folds, smirking to himself when he realized you were still dripping.

Pushing your back down, you gripped onto the sink, facing the mirror as he positioned himself at your entrance. He put just the tip in, not letting himself get carried away like last time. “Please,” you begged for mercy. He looked up and met your eyes in the mirror, fisting your hair and putting it into another messy ponytail. Slowly but surely, he dove deeper inside of you, feeling your tight walls engulf him. You both moaned at the feeling at the same time. Austin began to pick up his pace, watching as his cock slid in and out of you with ease.

“Look in the mirror while I fuck you, princess,” He demanded, and the sight in the mirror was enough to drive you crazy. You were bent over the sink as he pounded into you, gripping your hair tightly in his hands, your tits bouncing. As you both watched yourselves in the mirror, you realized how you two adored each other. The way you looked in the moment was so submissive. You were submissive for him.

“You look so pretty with my cock deep inside of you,” He paused his movements for a brief second, thrusting at an agonizingly slow pace. He knew he was hitting the spot where you had craved him the most. He never wanted anyone to fuck you like this ever again.

“Fuck, it feels so good,” You said as he picked up the speed again. You watched him in the mirror, sweat glistening on his shoulder blades as you caught him losing himself in you.

"Fuck, sweetheart. I'm not going to last much longer," he whispered, his voice breathless and desperate. His thrusts became sloppy, and his eyelids clenched shut as he concentrated on pursuing his release. "I'll fill you up all the way. You're such a good girl for me."

He leaned forward, his hand clamped around your neck as he brought you to his face. He kissed you, a sloppy kiss to match his clumsy thrusts. He broke away again, his face contorting in delight. "I missed fucking you like this," you stammered before his cock jerked inside you, white, hot sperm shooting from the tip deep into your core. The heat of his fluids poured into your entire being, your body convulsing from the pleasure. The words you tried to say were drowned out by a shamelessly loud moan of his name that Austin made no attempt to muffle. His hips gently moved higher, allowing the juices that had flowed out of you to combine with his own.

“Holy shit,” he breathed out as he almost fell into you, his head falling to your shoulder as you both tried to regain yourselves. You didn’t have any words besides those three little words he wanted to hear. You knew you had to overcome your fear, because you had realized that the thought of living without him was worse than the fear of heartbreak. Deep down, you knew he would never do anything to intentionally threaten your relationship.

“I love you,” You blurted out, and he perked up immediately, head moving up to make direct eye contact. A cheeky grin spread across his face as he cupped your cheeks in his hands. He had been aching to hear you say it first. It was all the confirmation he needed to pursue you romantically. “I love you too,” he replied, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

Your happy moment was short-lived, however, as you two were startled by loud knocks on the door. “[Y/N]! I swear to god if you’re in there, I’m going to lose my mind!” You both eyed each other in horror before Austin slowly began to laugh. You slapped his arm, slowly putting your underwear back on.

You inched towards the door, unlocking it carefully as you pried the door open just enough to see Megan’s angry expression and hide your half-naked body behind. “Hey…bestie,” you smiled feebly.

“Don’t you dare ‘bestie’ me! What the fuck are you doing in here? Do you have explosive diarrhea or something-“

Megan stopped in her tracks as she made eye contact with Austin behind you. She immediately put the puzzle pieces together, her face contorting as she realized. “Oh, you have got to be kidding.”

“How about you give me a second and then me and you will head on out?” You smiled again, closing the door inch by inch before it finally was shut and locked. A moment of silence was heard between you and Austin before the two of you simultaneously began laughing hysterically. You felt bad for Megan, you did, but you definitely didn’t regret the look on her face.

“The look on her face!” Austin said between laughs, pausing to wipe his tears. He bent down to pick up his dress shirt, and you struggled to put your own dress back on while giggling.

“I basically deserted her at an event where she knew no one, so I actually do kinda feel bad,” you turned your back to him, motioning for him to zip your dress back up. “She’s gonna be mortified forever.”

He turned you back around after he zipped you up, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You know, I feel like for all your troubles I can at least take you out to dinner.”

For once, the fear that always resided in your heart wasn’t clouding your judgement. You didn’t want to make the same mistake as last time, because you knew he was the one you wanted to be with. You needed a fresh beginning with him, and there was no better time than the present.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him in for another kiss before saying, “I would actually like that very much.”

+

Dinner was nothing short of a success. If people were hoping to hear a Hollywood love story, you two might have taken the cake. All the delicate ways he spoke to you, comforting your fears and reminding you that he loved you was enough to allow you to open yourself up. He watched as you became his confidante, his best friend, and most importantly, his lover. He had asked you to be his girlfriend after 2 weeks of consistent dinner dates, not even bothering to check in with either of your publicists, the excitement too much for him to bear. Austin loved you the best way he knew how; unconditionally. Realistically, the two of you had to keep your relationship quiet since you didn’t want anyone to think it was a publicity stunt for Elvis.

Telling the man who made it all happen, Baz Luhrmann, was a different story. You had called Baz one night after dating Austin for a month, deeming it an acceptable amount of time before telling your close inner circle. He had raved about how much he loved the two of you, saying ‘I knew it’ the whole time. Austin had tried to beat you to the bunch by calling Baz during your call, but you just loved saying the words, “Austin and I are dating.”

No one outside of your circle knew about your relationship, not even your parents or friends. It was better to keep it professional so people did not assume. Austin hated it, however. All he wanted was to hold your hand in public, or post you on his Instagram for the whole world to see your beauty. He had begged you numerous times for just one picture, but you knew better and told him to be patient. Plus, you enjoyed having him all to yourself in your bubble. The movie premiere for Elvis was about a month and a half away, and your lives would be in a frenzy after that.

The Met Gala was something you had been invited to for three consecutive years until the pandemic hit. You were not new to the scene of extravagant parties disguised as charity events. Your stylist had been working day and night to find you a perfect dress for this year’s theme, and after much trial and error, you found a dress that you loved. It was a stunning gold dress with embellishments, and Austin nearly fell out of his chair when he saw you at your fitting. This year felt different, however, as you would be attending the Met Gala with your co-stars for Elvis. You and Austin were to be front and center of every camera.

Nerves were striking the two of you like never before. You also had been warned by both of your publicists numerous times to not show any sort of affection outside of friendship. Even the slightest of touches could be taken the wrong way. Now, the two of you did not follow the rules. You two were always doing things you weren’t supposed to be doing, so everyone was on edge. Austin just hated the idea of someone thinking you were still available.

“Baby, I’m back!” You heard Austin’s voice ring out from behind the walls of your bathroom in your shared hotel room, where you were being zipped up, poked, and prodded by multiple stylists. It was the night of the Met Gala, and you had sent Austin out to get you a small snack while you were getting ready. He was already adorned in a gorgeous black Prada suit, and you had only thought to yourself how lucky you were after you saw him. You wanted your look to be a bit more of a surprise, as you were getting all dolled up for the event.

“Don’t come in yet,” you warned as your makeup artist put the finishing touches on your face. “I’ll be out in a second, I swear.”

“I feel like you’ve said that thirty times already,” Austin’s voice traveled closer towards you, just outside the door of the bathroom. “I just want to see you! I’m sure you look stunning, angel.”

You blushed at his kind words, your makeup artist, Dana, gagging and rolling her eyes. Giggling at her reaction, you stood up from your chair as she began to put away all her makeup. You looked in the mirror, falling in love with the person you saw. Your team did an amazing job helping you prepare, and you had never felt more confident to tackle the red carpet. With a deep exhale of excitement, you swung open the door to reveal your boyfriend waiting patiently. His eyes immediately widened, jaw slack as he took you in. “I- oh my god, [Y/N]. I-I, just, wow.”

“Do you like it?” You did a little twirl in your dress, and he caught you in his arms after your spin.

“You are literally the prettiest girl I have ever seen,” He pressed a kiss to your cheek softly, laughing when he heard Dana complain about ruining your makeup.

“This is probably the first time I’ve ever been excited and nervous to go to the Met Gala,” you fixed a strand of his hair that had fallen in front of his face. “The only good thing is we can get drunk later.”

“We’re absolutely getting hammered on Anna Wintour’s dime,” He chuckled before the chaos of the event sunk in for both of you. Both your managers were flying around, making sure you were going to be on time for your separate photoshoots and red carpet engagements. This year, you were heading to the event with the cast of Elvis, with a special sighting from Priscilla Presley. That excited you the most, since you had spent a lot of time with her preparing for the role. The car ride to the event was nerve-wracking, with Austin squeezing your hand and kissing your temple to calm you down. You hated that once you exited the car, not only would you be separated, but you would also be expected to act as friends and nothing more.

Nonetheless, you were an actress. You could pull off playing another role for a night. Plus, running around and hiding? A turn on for both you and Austin. The fear of getting caught ignited something in him you had never seen before.

“You look beautiful, my love, don’t forget,” Austin kissed your cheek one more time before allowing himself to sink back into secrecy. Soon enough, you were greeted by thousands of flashing lights as you exited your car into the night air. Baz, Austin, Priscilla, and Catherine Martin were all behind you. You immediately wanted to reach for Austin’s hand, but instead, you waved to the crowd. Ascending up the lavish stairs, you turned back around to wave again, allowing yourself to get your picture taken numerous times. Austin watched from below the steps, falling more in love with you, if that was even possible.

It was taking all his strength to not run up the steps and kiss your luscious lips. Even when you two had finished taking pictures and answering questions from interviewers, he still wanted to mount you right then and there. But, he knew better. He knew he would have to wait, or he could make the wait worth your while.

Plus, these events got a little boring sometimes.

You walked through the exhibit in the museum, entranced by what you saw. It was truly beautiful. Austin trailed not far behind, hands clasped behind his back as he watched the way your hips swayed in your bodycon dress. He could barely contain himself. He reached out, placing a hand on your waist when no one was looking. You looked up to meet his eyes, turning to him and whispering, “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah,” He nodded, gulping harshly as he looked down at your doe eyes. You looked so innocent and it took his breath away. You had no idea what kind of pain he was going through trying to keep himself together at the event. He removed his hand from your waist quickly when he saw someone turn in your direction. You scrunched up your brows at his reaction before turning back around to walk into the dinner portion of the event. You two were seated at the table with the rest of your co-workers, however, Austin had a different kind of hunger brewing.

Austin pulled out your chair for you, and you thanked him before settling down. You barely got a chance to even sit down before he already had a hand placed on your thigh under the tablecloth. Your dress had a small slit in it where your bare skin was showing, and he was taking that to his advantage. His fingers ran over the bare skin, shivering. You immediately swatted his hand away, widening your eyes at the contact. Hoping he would get the hint, you turned away to observe your surroundings.

That did not stop him. He instead placed his hand right where he had before, gripping your thigh hard enough to make you exhale a breath. “Austin,” You whispered, your eyes trying to avoid his. He was compelled to you in every way possible. “You need to stop it.”

“Why?” He leaned in, whispering into your ear. “I can’t help myself.”

You shuddered at his words, the fear of getting caught causing your stomach to do somersaults. “Don’t do this to me now. Not here.”

His hand slowly moved up past the slit of your gown, approaching dangerously close to where your nude lace underwear adorned your bottoms. With a deep inhale, you clamped your thighs shut, reaching out to chug your glass of champagne. If he kept this up all night, you wouldn’t last very long. He let his hand linger, stagnant as he began to strike up a side convo with Baz. Thankfully, the lower half of your body was covered by the tablecloth, so you were sure no one could see what he was trying to do. Too many thoughts were running through your brain, struggling to ignore Austin’s lengthy fingers near your dripping core that burned with angst.

He watched as you squirmed in your seat, in awe with the way he held so much power over you with just one touch. You also couldn’t stop thinking about what you couldn’t do, making you want to do it even more. He gave your upper thigh a right squeeze before ending his conversation with Baz, leaning in to whisper, “You think I can’t feel you clenching your thighs, baby?”

You inhaled a deep breath before turning your head to shoot daggers into his eyes. This charade could not last any longer. You excused yourself from the table, taking your glass of champagne and walking around the event to entertain yourself with other people. Austin stared at you from afar as you spoke to other actors, and he twitched with jealousy when he saw the way they looked at you. You even got as far as touching some of them, knowing Austin was still glaring at you. As the event went on, more people stood up from their tables to converse with the other attendees. Austin took this opportunity to walk up to you, pulling you aside for a moment, “So sorry to steal her, we’ll just be a second,” He had said to the man you were talking to.

He tried to guide you to the dark corner of the ballroom discreetly, where you would be hidden from the other guests (and your publicists) as much as possible. However, there were a few telling looks from others. He led you up against the wall, eyes darkening as he looked down on you. There was a glow in your eyes, different from what he normally saw. You loved having the power. He just wanted to snatch it from you. You toyed with the collar of his suit as you maintained eye contact, “It’s so hard to spend this much time away from you.”

“It is,” he nearly croaked. His whole body went limp. “You look so fucking beautiful in this dress and everybody wants you, but they don’t know you’re mine.”

You leaned into him a little more forward, letting your cleavage fall out even more from your fitted gown. Your hand slid down his chest, and he watched your freshly manicured hands as they traveled. He was in a trance. “I know. But, I know I belong to you. They can look all they want.”

He looked around carefully before cupping your face in his hands. “I’m going to make sure you don’t forget that tonight, darling.”

Your lips were tingling, begging to be kissed by him. The wetness that pooled in your underwear almost dripped down your inner thigh. He looked away from your eyes to look at your lips, and he leaned in a little more, brushing them against yours. Your eyes begged him to make that move, to push into you and give you some form of contact. Instead, he whispered against your lips, “Just wait until we get home and we have more than 5 minutes together.”

And just like that, he pulled away from you, causing you to gasp abruptly. He winked at you before walking back into the event, causing you to stand there and try to smoothen yourself out. You watched as he began to talk to some of your other fellow actors, and you were trying to figure out how to act as if you weren’t hot and bothered. The night dragged on, with stolen glances between you two as you tried to keep yourselves occupied, in agony. You had never been in heat like this before. It felt crude to be so promiscuous at an event like this, but it was thrilling to watch him crumble as you did things to tease him, such as showing a young group of men how to tie a cherry stem with just your tongue. His jaw clenched with jealousy, ignoring the conversation he was once apart of.

He then had the luxury of watching you twirl your hair and bat your eyelashes flirtatiously at another men, and that’s when he might have lost it.

Austin stomped up to his publicist, asking shortly. “Am I allowed to leave yet?”

She squinted her eyes suspiciously, before slowly nodding and saying, “I mean, yeah, I guess you can-“

She barely could get the words out of her mouth before he was walking up to you and grabbing your arm. You were shocked by the display, looking up at him and smirking as you realized why he was being so rough. He nearly dragged you out of the doors of the Met, dropping your arm as soon as he saw photographers lingering around. Austin looked around to find his limo desperately, as he was already rock hard in his dress pants and needed to be inside of you at that moment. All he wanted to do was touch you, but he couldn’t because of those damn photographers.

His driver finally turned around the corner and you two wasted no time clambering into the backseat, windows tinted. Austin reached out to shut the window that connected the two of you to your driver. Once you were both out of earshot, he grabbed your face and firmly pressed his lips against yours. It was sloppy, lips never moving away from each other for a second. As he assaulted your lips, his hand reached out to grasp tightly around your neck. You could barely breathe, but you were too busy, intoxicated by him. “Look what you did to me, baby,” his eyes gestured down to his pants, where you could see his erection growing by the second. “I bet you thought you were fucking slick talking to those boys, making them think they had a chance.”

“I’m sorry, daddy,” You let the last word slip without caution. You weren’t sure if it was the champagne talking or what, but Austin’s eyes widened at the pet name. You two had never played around with his daddy kink, but he had never realized how amazing it sounded coming from your lips.

“You need to be a good girl, [Y/N],” He ran his fingers through your hair, eyes piercing into your gaze. “Now, be a sweetheart and give daddy what he wants.”

You nodded eagerly, knowing exactly where he needed you. He needed your lips wrapped around his cock, pumping him. You can only comply, blinking often as your trembling hands travel to the elastic of his underwear. You had been longing for Austin all night, not any of the males you had been chatting to. As you glance up to meet his gaze, one of your hands moves over to palm over his totally stiffened erection, wrapping your fingers over the covered shaft. He sneers and tangles his hands in your hair, producing two fists. "Don't tease me, [Y/N]," His tone is ominous and threatening. You ignore him and carry on with your movements, pressing delicate lips against his hard-on. You lower your head, out of sight of everyone except Austin.

You recall his instructions, but you dismiss them for a few seconds, gently moving your tongue along the bottom of his cock, all the way to the tip, where you kiss it once. You can feel him tremble as you take just the tip of his cock into your mouth, running your tongue around it, maintaining eye contact with him. For a short second, he closed his eyes and lay back against the headrest. He then cracked his eyelids open, revealing their darker tone.

You stared up at him with doe eyes, licking him carefully before taking him completely into your mouth. You moaned against his cock as you ran your lips and right hand down his length. The sensations made Austin shudder. You slid your manicured nails down his thighs before gently taking hold of his balls and lightly stroking each one.

Austin groaned, pushing you down on his cock further than before, with his precum hitting the back of your throat. “Just like that, baby,” Austin looked down at you, and you do as said, your own wishes of dominance diminishing by the second. He had put you in your place. You had no desires to disobey. Tears stained your face as you struggled to take him all into your mouth. For some reason, he felt even bigger tonight. Spit dribbled from the sides of your mouth, gagging noises exiting your throat. You came up for air, and Austin reached out to wipe your lips free of spit and his juices with his thumb. “You did so good, baby,” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips.

“Austin, I can’t wait,” you muttered against his lips. “Take me. Take me now.”

“You need me that bad?” His thumb ran over your cheek. You nodded incessantly, almost like a little girl. “I know you've been needing me all night, watched you clench your thighs half the time.”

“Please.”

He smirked, pressing wet kisses down your jawline to your collarbone. The zipper in the back of your dress was easily accessible for him as he slid down the straps of your gown with ease. He didn't know how long you two had left in the car, so he tried to be as discreet and quick as possible. Your gown fell onto the floor of the car, leaving you in your bra and underwear. Austin’s eyes checked again to make sure the driver couldn’t hear what sins you two were committing in the backseat. You straddled him, grinding your fully-clothed crotch against his bare dick, and he whimpered at the contact.

"Baby, we need to be quiet. We don't want to get caught," He said quietly to you. He smirked, shifting his hips so that his length glided perfectly between your folds. You both let out a collective sigh at the sensation that was so foreign to you at that moment. Austin covered your mouth with his hand. He gave you a few seconds to acclimate to your new position and his length, and then you found yourself bouncing up and down as hard as you could in blissful delight. Austin's hips bucked up, as if he were attempting to bury himself even further inside of you.

The sound of your fluids enveloping his cock was one of the few noises in the car, and Austin almost passed out from the sensation. His free hand, which wasn't covering your lips, reached down and gripped your hip, directing you to grind against him. You whimpered against him, your eyes squeezed tight as you struggled to keep the noises from escaping your lips. Austin could tell that you were already on the verge of cumming.

Your moans were muffled by his hand, and if he wasn't already, the entire city would have heard you by now. His eyes rolled back into his head, and he struggled not to make any noise. As you both picked up the pace, your head smacked the top of the car a few times, his hips pushing up to reach your cervix. His lips were once again glued to the area between your neck and shoulder. You shook your head, indicating to Austin that you were about to release. You couldn't stop screaming against the palm of his hand. He had his lips in between his teeth and had been on the verge of a very powerful orgasm for some minutes. He only needed one thrust in the proper position to push both of you over the brink. Your eyes were closed in concentration as you urgently tried to find your release.

“Holy shit, baby. Keep going. I’m so damn close,” He murmured, sweat beading at his forehead. You felt his cock twitching inside of you. You bit Austin’s hand to keep yourself from screaming, but you couldn’t help the moan. Your walls tightened around Austin, black washing over your vision as he emptied himself inside of you. Both your movements became sloppy as you both rid out your highs. He removed his hand from your mouth, collapsing onto the seat next to him. Knowing it was a matter of time before you reached your hotel, you immediately reached down to grab your gown and try to put it back on over your sweaty body.

Sensing the urgency in your movements, Austin helped you gather yourself, slightly chuckling at how disheveled you two looked. Once you were done getting redressed, you cuddled into his arms as you drove through the streets of New York City. “I love you,” You spoke into his suit, and he smiled brightly. It rolled off your tongue so effortlessly, because for once, you were not scared. You knew that you had met the person you were destined to be with forever, and now, all there was left to do was reveal it to the world.

+

A month after the Met Gala, you had found yourself on yet another red carpet: the Cannes film festival. However, this event held more meaning for both you and Austin, because Elvis was being shown to the world for the first time. Nerves wracked your entire body like never before. Austin had been such a supportive boyfriend for you, making sure to always check in with you and see if you were okay. He had his own fears to get over, but he was adamant on making sure his lover was taken care of. The plane ride to France was filled with sweet kisses, hugs and numerous “I’m so proud of you’s.” Words would never be able to do justice to how proud you were of Austin.

You two were still dating in secrecy, and the bubble had not been popped yet. In the last month, you had gone to several events separately, only to end the night in each other’s arms in your hotel room. Your publicists reminded you before the film festival: Do not, and I mean do not, show any PDA. Not yet. Austin was finding it harder to keep the secret than you. This evening, you were styled in a red dress with red lipstick. It was all very glamorous, and you were excited to be seen in pictures. They allowed you and Austin to match for the sake of the movie, letting him wear a red tie.

Although the night seemed like a movie so far under the Cannes night sky, there was one catch you forgot to mention to Austin: your ex-boyfriend was at Cannes. He was starring in one of his own films, and it had been on every headline for weeks. [Y/N] and [Your Fav Celeb] To Attend Cannes Festival: Reunion of The Century. You were shocked as to how Austin didn’t find out. Nonetheless, you seemed it best not to mention, knowing it would only make him jealous.

Interviewers flocked around your cast and crew, asking numerous questions about the film. Austin took the lead on many questions, or Baz would step in to agree and add something else. You tried to make as little eye contact with Austin as possible, but it got difficult when he just looked so damn good. The interviewer wrapped up asking questions to the men of the group, switching over to you and snapping you out of your daydreams. “And [Y/N], you play Priscilla Presley. How was it like stepping into those shoes?”

You had gotten that question a billion times, but you smiled and answered the way you had been prepared to, “Well, Priscilla is such a resilient woman, and it was an absolute honor to play her. We did a lot of chatting, a lot of hanging out. She really is the best person and I knew I had such big shoes to fill, but it was the best experience of my life.”

Your interviewer nodded, leaning over to ask Priscilla a few questions as well. After she was pleased with her answer, the interviewer came back to you. “[Y/N], do you have any other films you wanted to see while being here at the festival?”

Your heart dropped to your stomach. You knew exactly where she was going with this. “Uh, not any that I can think of right now. Every movie premiered here is amazing.”

“Did you plan on supporting your ex-boyfriend, [Your Fav Celeb]?” You could feel Austin shifting uncomfortably behind you, and you gulped with anxiety. What did she even expect you to say to that? Knowing you couldn’t let her see you slip, you just let out a small chuckle.

“Ah, I do wish him the best! Definitely would check out his film, I’m sure he worked very hard on it,” you smiled. “But, I’m actually seeing someone else currently, so I don’t have much else to say on the matter.”

Your interviewer seemed more than pleased with the news. They always thrived off getting information that no one else had, and they would do anything to get the story. It was one of the worst things about being in Hollywood. She congratulated the cast again, and your group moved down the red carpet. Austin was silent as he walked behind you, and you wanted to reach up and give him a big hug. He had every right to be uncomfortable, as you were more than sure you would be too if you ran into his ex-girlfriend. “So, he’s here?” He whispered into your ear behind you.

“I think so,” you looked straight ahead. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to upset you.”

“It’s not your fault, baby,” He gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Just tell that fella you’re seeing currently that I hope he treats you right.”

You giggled at his joke, rolling your eyes. You two continued down the red carpet, stopping to pose for pictures. The flashes burned your orbs, coming from each angle. If it weren’t for the arrows on the carpet bringing you back to real life, you would have lost your balance. “[Y/N]! [Y!N!]” You smiled and waved to the people yelling your name. “Where’s your ex-boyfriend, or your new man?”

Ignoring the question, you continued to pose. If you paid it any mind, they would continue to pester you. However, Austin was on the sidelines, fists clenched in anger at the thought of people speculating about you and your ex. He knew it wasn't smart to be jealous like that, since he knew you wanted nothing to do with your ex. It was just the fact that everyone thought you wanted him, and not Austin. All Austin saw was blind rage. He wanted to run up to you and kiss you, and make everyone realize that he was the man you were seeing.

And, that was exactly what he did.

Marching onto the red carpet, he looped an arm around your waist, taking you by surprise. Before you had a chance to question his actions, he pressed his lips against yours hastily. Your heartbeat was flying out of its chest before you melted into him. He didn’t give a damn about what his publicist said, or yours for that matter. All he cared about was that everyone knew you were his. Your hand reached up to his cheek, cupping it gently as you heard the camera flashes, applause, and yells. It felt like it was so distant, because all that was in your bubble was you and Austin.

He pulled away, looking into your eyes before giggling childishly. You couldn’t help the blush that creeped up on your face as you realized half the world was going to watch you make out with your boyfriend. Photographers screamed your two names as you both walked off the red carpet. There, stood your two publicists, arms crossed. You had never seen them look so angry in their whole life, but they knew better than to scold a young couple in love.

Once you two were out of earshot from the cameras, Austin pressed numerous kisses to your face. “You’re my best friend,” he spoke in between showering your face with kisses. “-and my lover. How did I get so lucky?”

You let out a laugh, trying to bat away his lips at a desperate attempt to save your makeup. It was moments like these that reminded you that it was okay to let yourself fall in love again. As for Austin, he realized that he had finally met the person he wanted to be with forever. He had put in the time and work to be with you, and now, he got to share one of his greatest successes with you.

Nothing mattered anymore. Austin had the girl of his dreams, and god, he was so into you.

+ 

masterlist + request

[adhd-merlin]

merlin S1 rewatch: episode 8

this is a thing I was doing do you remember? do you remember this was a thing I was doing

it’s been like 3 months since I re-watched episode 8 (and 9!) so I’ve just re-re-watched it. Just now.

Would you let something terrible happen if it meant you'd stop something even worse happening in the future?

A fascinating ethical dilemma. Would you pull the lever in the trolley problem? Would you travel back in time and kill baby Hitler?

It isn't just Mordred’s life for Arthur’s, but Mordred’s life against the Golden Age and the freedom for magic people that Arthur is supposed to bring, so I understand why Merlin felt torn. There’s no clear-cut answer, which is what makes this storyline so compelling.

Anyway, let’s start with my main grievance – Mordred’s powers.

Merlin tells Gaius that he heard the Druid boy’s voice inside his head, to which Gaius replies:

Yes, I've heard of this ability. The Druids look for children with such gifts to serve as apprentices.

In this episode, Mordred mind-speech is a special ability that sets him apart from other children. By season 5, any random Druid can use it, to the point that Merlin is surprised when he tries to communicate with Daegal telepathically and the boy cannot hear him. The episode hints to Mordred’s magic being remarkable, even dangerous (like when he magically shatters a mirror in a fit of rage), but by season 5 Mordred barely even uses it.

I am fascinated by Mordred’s backstory and disappointed that the writers forgot their own set-up, or decided to ignore it. 

I only knew Asa Butterfield from Sex Education, so it was weird to see him as young Mordred. He did a good job at looking mysterious and vaguely threatening, though it must be said he spent most of the episode unconscious.

Who was the Druid accompanying Mordred? The Merlin Wiki transcript names him as Mordred’s father, which is not in the credits (where he's only named as “Cerdan”). I didn’t get father-son vibes from their interactions, but maybe it’s just me. My impression was that he was some kind of mentor. Apparently I saw Mordred and decided he was an orphan. Don't ask me why.

We see Arthur trying to challenge his father (in private) multiple times, but he still spends a good chunk of the episode as an antagonist. He searches for Mordred when his father demands it and he’s willing to let him die, even if he’s not pleased about it. It’s only when Morgana begs him that he caves in (30 minutes into a 43-minute episode).

Uther is a fascinating portrayal of an emotionally abusive parent. I wonder what he would have done if Morgana had “come out” to him – because he clearly cared for her, in his own fucked-up way. At least enough not to want her dead. Acceptance would have been out of the question, but I’m not sure he would’ve had her executed. Probably attempted to make her go through some kind of “conversion therapy”. He did keep Gaius as his physician after all, after making him vow never to use magic again (not that Morgana would ever have accepted it).

Now Arthur, I believe, would’ve accepted Morgana if she had told him she had magic. He’s so obviously fond of her, despite all the sibling bickering. 

We get the first mention of the name Emrys – from Mordred, then confirmed by Kilgharrah.

Morgana saying she couldn’t live with herself if anything happened to Gwen or Merlin is such a !!!! statement considering what will happen later in the series

You are a guard of Camelot minding your own business when suddenly someone knocks you out. Just an ordinary Tuesday. You don’t get paid enough for this.

Arthur telling Mordred (as he's freeing him from his cell) “Don't be scared. I've sent word to your people” -> HOW??? literally how. How does Arthur know where the Druids live. how did he get in contact with them. many such questions

Mordred glaring at Merlin when he finally comes to his rescue is so funny. “I had trouble getting out of the castle” he's like bitch you did NOT!

Mordred’s name drop at the end is so epic. Even if you aren’t familiar with Arthurian legends (I wasn't), the music and Kilgharrah’s warning to Merlin make this moment sufficiently ominous and tense (and if you already know who’s going to kill Arthur, you will have guessed the boy’s name already anyway)

Arthur returns Mordred to Iseldir. The next time we see young Mordred is in ep 2x03 (The Nightmare Begins) and then again in episode 2x11 (The Witch’s Quickening) — in neither of them he is with Iseldir anymore, though Iseldir is still alive, given he reappears in S3. WHAT HAPPENED. Mordred’s childhood is a compelling mystery. I like the idea of there being different Druid clans with different beliefs about Emrys and Arthur’s destiny – and possibly Mordred’s, too. Not every Druid recognises Merlin as Emrys or thinks of him as a savior, after all (see Sefa and Kara). Is this why Mordred was (perhaps?) abandoned by Iseldir? Did he find out something about Mordred's role in Arthur's death? It’s an interesting idea. To me.

[koreanprincess]

Dear diary 💕,

My love life is so amazing right now! it’s like i’m living in an early-2000s rom com! tons of people are trying to date me, and as they should! i’m literally wifey material. i have tons of secret admirers. my locker is filled with cute envelopes from them, saying how much they love me and how they would give anything to be with me. literally every time i open my locker, hundreds of letters spill out. it surprised me at first but now it’s apart of my daily life. i have tons of public admirers as well. i receive millions of crush confessions every day, digitally and in real life. and it’s not just a little “hey, i have a crush on you lol.” NEVER THAT. whenever someone tells me they have a crush on me, they put in 111% effort and energy. they get me a bouquet of beautiful flowers, crystals, plushies, candies, and expensive ass jewelry. omg, i just remembered that one time someone asked me out with fireworks. like, the fireworks literally spelled my name and asked me to go out with them. i was SHOCKED. i swear, literally everyone has a crush on me. even people in relationships have crushes on me! i cannot tell you how many times i’ve been told “i’d leave my bf/gf for you.” and i cannot tell you how many times that has actually happened! i swear, i’m irresistible. i can literally pull anyone i want. there’s no one in this world i can’t have. i have tons of potential love interests, it’s kind of impossible to choose. now that i think about it, i’m actually in a reverse harem. i would be shocked, but it’s what i deserve!

૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა ♡

For those darlings who wanna date. ●ᴥ●

Note : affs are not mine credits to flora ♱.

[imgoingtofreakoutnow]

After watching The Sandman and falling completely in love with Hob Gadling and Ferdinand Kingsley, I've jumped into Victoria without a second thought after finding out that our beloved Ferdie starred in it.

I have now finished the first season and, apart from really liking the show, my mind has slowly been creating this AU in which Charles Francatelli, the character Ferdinand plays in Victoria, is actually one of Hob Gadling's alter egos through the centuries.

There is quite a resemblance between the two characters' personalities and there have been a couple of scenes that made me scream: "Omg, this would be such a nice parallel with the Sandman!"

So here's my essay:

"WHY CHARLES FRANCATELLI AND HOB GADLING ARE THE SAME PERSON"

Warning: there will be Victoria S1 and The Sandman S1 spoilers

Firstly and foremost, I have to aknowledge the obvious: they're both golden retrievers. This is quite an easy one, but both of the characters are so kind and genuine and have an incredible joy for life, from what I was able to see, that you simply cannot love them immediately!

In Victoria, Francatelli is a great chef. Like, an incredibly good chef. And it would makes sense that Hob Gadling, an immortal who must have lived thousands of lives, might have become incredibly good at many things, cooking being one of it.

Francatelli, as a chef, is always looking for new flavours and combinations and he's delighted when Nancy, a dressmaker he then falls in love with, suggests adding something to enhance his already great work. And this love for novelty really reminds me of another character we all know...

This love for new things is also shown when he shows Nancy (yes, I will talk a lot about her, so what?) the ice they have in the palace and you can tell he's so happy that he can show her something unexpected and new (just as Hob was so passionate when telling Dream about all those changes he had witnessed in 1489)

In episode 1x06 of Victoria, Francatelli quite literally faces the indian plague in the London slums to go rescue Nancy's cousin and her baby and he puts them in a better accomodation. Now, his gesture alone makes him a brave man that we know Hob already is, but also it would make sense that Hob Gadling, a man who cannot die, would go in a place like that to help someone else (even if it is to impress the woman he loves)

Still in 1x06 of Victoria, after helping her, Francatelli asks Nancy for something in return, and what does he wants, I hear you ask? Her FUCKING NAME! When I tell you I screamed at that scene because a) OMG, THIS MAN IS THE MOST ADORABLE CUTIEPIE THAT I'VE EVER SEEN ON TELEVISION WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT REAL??? b) obviously Hob Gadling, who's spent the last 400 years meeting with and crushing on a stranger who never revealed his name, would want to know first thing first the name of the person he's falling in love with!

In 1x07 of Victoria, Francatelli prepares a dinner date and a special dessert for Nancy (he literally creates it just for her!) and, apart from the fact that all that scene is just so. freaking. adorable!, all I could think of was Hob and the big feast he arranged to impress Dream in 1589. This man really read somewhere that "the quickest way to your crush's heart is through their stomach" and blindly believed it.

The fact that we know close to nothing about Francatelli's backstory lets my mind wonder... we just know that he worked his way to get where he is and that he comes from a lowly background, which could easily apply to Hob (quick reminder, I'm still in S1, so they might delve into Charles' backstory more in future seasons)

Also, very small detail, but Francatelli says at some point that "he never forgets a face" and, I don't know, I feel like Hob could have a good memory for people. Remembering those he met and lost along the way; friends, family, lovers and so on...

These are my main thoughts for now. I will add more as they come to me and as I watch more seasons (I've already spoiled myself quite a bit of the third season and GOD!, there are some good and painful parallel right there!)

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed my ramblings! :D

[missytearex]

Happy 28th! Here’s what I read and loved this month. Remember to leave kudos and comments if you check these out!

🌸 1D 🌸

🤍 Darling, so it goes by @disgruntledkittenface --- [fic post]

larry | 195k | explicit

Harry Styles is a world-famous actor at the height of his career but a personal low point when he meets His Serene Highness Prince Louis of Monaco by chance. He doesn’t think they’ll ever see each other again, but after striking up a correspondence, it turns out they have more in common than he thought. Then they start to fall for each other. Louis is different from anyone Harry has dated before and their relationship moves fast as Harry realizes he’s ready for a change. Soon Harry finds himself adapting to an entirely new life, in a country where he doesn’t know the rules, the customs, even the language. Harry is used to people underestimating him, and he’s more determined than ever to prove them wrong.

He just needs Louis to meet him halfway.

Grace Kelly AU.

🤍 A Fantastic Wreck by 13ways

larry | 134k | explicit

Prince Louis William Tomlinson, heir to the Kingdom of Doncaster, has arrived in Rome to make an important announcement— his betrothal to Princess Eleanor of Anesidora, whom he barely knows. His grandfather, King William, lies gravely ill, and the country’s fate is in his hands.

What harm could it possibly be to leave the embassy for one day? Prince Louis has never fallen in love, mainly because he has a secret that cannot be disclosed. He’s never even had a proper kiss.

When he bumps into a journalist named Harry Styles, their mutual attraction is undeniable. But Harry, too, has a secret.

A Roman Holiday AU

🤍 we can take the long way home by @eleadore --- [fic post]

larry | 27k | explicit

“Fertile,” Louis says, and then laughs because it sounds stupid to say out loud. He hasn’t ever really thought of himself in those terms. Baby-making terms. It’s just one of those things his body can do, like exercise, or go without tea. Doesn’t mean he will.

🤍 build a nest for us to sleep in by blackwayfarers

lilo | 24k |  explicit

"It'll be fun," Louis tells Liam quietly. If it was anyone else's break-up, Louis would know exactly what to do, what balance of fondness and foolishness he'd need to give, but he's totally lost with Liam. Louis has no idea what he might need, what could make him feel better, so in the end he gives Liam the only thing he has: "We can order take away and play videogames and fuck about for a few days. I'll get Harry to bring us groceries, we won't even need to leave the house. Come on, Liam, come live with me."

🤍 Dancing Barefoot by @quelsentiment --- [fic post]

zouiam | 18k | teen and up

Liam, Zayn and Louis are the only parents who agreed to come and supervise a school trip to the seaside. They get way more out of the deal than expected.

🤍 It's Been Ages by @2tiedships2 --- [fic post]

larry | 13k | not rated

“We need to talk,” Niall said as he plopped down on Louis’ bed. “It’s you and Harry. You like him, he likes you, it’s a match made in heaven and you will one day be mates,”

Louis shook his head in exasperation. “If you’ve been watching, you would see that Harry is interested in, like, alpha alphas. Not me.”

“What the fuck is an alpha alpha?” Niall asked with furrowed brows.

“You know what I mean,” Louis said, giving Niall a pointed look.

“I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.”

🤍 The Risen by @creamcoffeelou

larry | 11k | explicit

In search of the next breaking story, Harry goes off to do something no one else has been able to do: get the scoop on Louis Tomlinson and his devoted group of followers.

🤍 When All I Want Is You by estrella30 

zarry | 9k | explicit

Zayn and Harry move in together and don't have a lot of money and everything falls apart (and then gets put back together)

🤍 Faire boum boum crac crac by catholicschoolgirl --- [fic post]

zarry | 9k | teen and up

Harry's in his seventh year when the Triwizard Tournament returns to Hogwarts. Normally Harry wouldn't care about weird magical tournaments, but Zayn Malik, a student from Beauxbatons, very quickly captures his attention.

🤍 We Might'a Took the Long Way by @evilovesyou​ --- [fic post]

larry | 8k | general audiences

The story of a perfect first date, a mind-blowing first kiss, an interfering lawsuit, a lopsided bowl, flutes of champagne, a little bit of heartbreak, a fated tiktok, and lots and lots of art.

🤍 From Now On by @this-onegoes --- [fic post]

zarry | 7k | explicit

On this night, Christmas Eve, to an outsider looking in, the famous Harry Styles is nothing but a pair of legs, awkwardly sticking out from under the Christmas tree he's currently laying under.

🤍 All The Small Things by @restless-rebels --- [fic post]

lilo | 6k | not rated

Louis finally looked up, staring at the same boy from the laundry room, his hair dry and soft looking, a short quiff at the top of his head. “Hey, uh, Liam, right?”

The tall alpha nodded. “Not a problem, Louis?” The omega nodded. “Is your wrist okay?” Before Louis could answer, he felt a rush of calm wash over him, as though he took a shot of whiskey. He watched as Liam closed his eyes and smiled.

Louis cleared his throat, having forgotten for a second that he had even fallen. “I think so. I didn’t put all of my weight on it, at least I don’t think I did. I’m sure Harry will insist on wrapping it when we get upstairs either way.”

“Good, that’s good.” They stood there awkwardly, Liam’s hands still holding Louis’s arm, both just staring, neither saying anything.

🤍 Five Times Zayn Didn't Speak to Harry (and One Time He Did) by @writsgrimmyblog --- [fic post]

zarry | 6k | explicit

A ‘five times’ fic, in which Zayn and Harry find it easier to fuck than talk.

🤍 Beyond the Sea by writeivywrite 

zarry | 6k | teen and up

Written for the prompt 'Zayn is a famous actor who has to film in a small town for a couple months, and Harry is one of the locals.' I went slightly off brief but I hope you enjoy where this ends up.

🤍 i fall in love whenever we meet by @leighbot --- [fic post]

zarry | 5k | general audiences

the one where Harry has temporary amnesia after surgery; he doesn't need his memories to know he loves Zayn.

🤍 i want to see you a little brighter now by merryofsoul 

ziall | 2k | teen and up

Niall would just like to do his job. Now, if the new firehouse candidate could just stop staring at him, he wouldn't be so distracted.

🤍 In Case of Emergency by @musiclily

ziam | 2k | general audiences

Harry and Louis have a PJ party that....goes a little awry

🤍 Maybe This Time by @flomps --- [fic post]

zarry | 2k | explicit

a brief au in which zayn is a writer, and they fell in love when they were teenagers. this is set years after that and is mostly angst, intimacy, and sex.

🤍 World Standing Still by @afirethatcannotdie --- [fic post]

larry | 2k | teen and up

AU. A first meeting in a pub doesn't go so well.

🤍 Virginia is for Lovers by @haztobegood --- [fic post]

narry friendship | 1k | general audiences

Harry and Niall go hiking in the Appalachian Mountains.

🤍 For Ten Minutes Straight by @a-brighter-yellow --- [fic post]

larry | 1k | explicit

Louis has a ritual for when Harry's away – and a good reason for keeping it private.

🤍 It's Just a Song on the Radio by @afireinsidethoseeyes --- [fic post]

nouis | 890 | general audiences

Niall is finally starting to feel okay again after his break up with Louis. Until he hears Louis' song on the radio. Suddenly, he can't get Louis, or the cause of their breakup, out of his head.

🌸 HP 🌸

🤍 The Compact by @astolat --- [fic post]

drarry | 64k | explicit

Hermione frowned. “The real question is why the magic of Britain would be failing now, in fact.”

“That is not the real question!” Ron said loudly; he’d woken up fully by now, and Harry had too; it was starting to sink in that they’d found the problem. “The real question is, how do we fix it?”

[adagaium]

here’s some fun ardyn things

can ardyn give the scourge yes. now he can. we see that in ep ardyn. do you get the scourge from coming in contact with ardyn no. that’s not how that works, he’s not like other carriers . the starscourge is literally magic malaria down to its scientific name ( although as a nurse i am never not amused at the fact they picked a harmless strain ), MALARIA SUCKS GUYS. malaria is spread by mosquito bites, or needle sharing, because it’s blood. 

the starscourge is spread through: bites from infected animals or bodily fluids ( namely blood products ), or miasma from dead things that were infected. YOU CANNOT GET THE STARSCOURGE FROM HAVING SEX WITH AN INFECTED PERSON, also here’s a fun fact it doesn’t spread from casual contact. it won’t spread from bumping into a daemon. the reason daemons spread the scourge is ... they also like to tear each other apart, which usually leaves them covered in the blood of other daemons, hence the blood-based spread. so people aren’t getting the scourge because ardyn bumps into them. 

quite the opposite, actually! for everything that ardyn has done in spreading the scourge by willing it ( a process of infection unique to him ), his innate ability is still to heal it. a sick person bumping into ardyn is more likely to make a miraculous recovery, because ardyn’s soul had a kneejerk reaction to being smothered by daemons — making his healing abilities involuntary. he couldn’t stop that just like we can’t stop our involuntary bodily processes. for this reason, coming into contact with people is fairly counterproductive to the goal of plunging eos into darkness. 

unfortunately for ardyn, he’s bad at not being physical with other people, not only is he horny on main ( read, touch starved actually, and he’s expressing it like this ), he’s just overly affectionate in general. the good (?) news ( for adagium, at least ) is with each daemon he pulls out of a person ( willing or not ), his power grows. so, it’s ... conflict. ardyn’s really lost control of most parts of his life and he hates that. it’s the one thing he WANTS, control, because he doesn’t want to be the pawn of the gods, he wants to do what HE wants ... which if he thinks too hard, he doesn’t know what that is. he barely knows who he is anymore, which is a whole new cause of distress. 

ardyn’s soul is still in his body, i don’t care what dawn of the future says there. ardyn’s soul never stopped being the soul of the saintly healer of eos, but it wasn’t strong enough to not be smothered by daemons. out of fear of losing himself fully, ardyn keeps journals where he’s written things down that he KNOWS are true about who he really is. 

his true name is ardyn lucis caelum ( he doesn’t remember being mithra which is sad ). 

he died at 33 in the throne room. aera died that day, too. 

he was born in solheim ( but he doesn’t remember he was technically born a deity ). 

he was engaged to aera mirus fleuret and they had two sons, but they never married due to uhhh tragedy. 

he and aera named pryna when they were young. 

his black chocobo was a female and her name was iaso. 

the first person he healed of the scourge was somnus, when he was 7 and somnus was 4. 

he and somnus liked playing chess together . 

he didn’t want the throne, he just went because if that was what it took to heal people he’d do anything.

he is the chosen savior of eos and his calling is to save lives, not to take them. 

sadly, that’s literally all ardyn actually remembers for certain about himself, his real life and true fate. everything else he has as memories are other people’s memories. he can’t even really figure out how verstael found him, he sorta just ... out of a need to be a Complete Person ... listens when people tell him shit that doesn’t conflict with the only solid memories he has. this mental vulnerability made him an excellent target for verstael, who uhhh caused a LOT of ardyn’s “new personality” to happen. that’s concerning in itself and something for another post. 

anyway, there are times where ardyn’s soul will actually try to put up a fight against the daemons and it gives him horrible headaches and throws his emotions all out of whack and usually he just hides somewhere because he doesn’t want anyone to see him so vulnerable. this erratic behavior became more frequent as days passed in the ten years where noctis was asleep in the crystal, because the daemons knew their host was going to DIE and ardyn’s real soul wanted to wrangle the daemons so he COULD rest. noctis gets to see the real ardyn when he’s dying and he asks what will happen in the future. when he dies with a smile because he thinks it’s over. 

[stevethehairington]

overshare time!

tag 10 people you wanna know better!

thank you @stevesbipanic for the tag!! 💕

relationship status: haha single.

favorite color(s): purple! also teal and peach which are the color scheme of my room and have been since college lol

favorite food: suuuuushiiiiii mm mmm. i could eat sushi all dayyy

song stuck in my head: it's been bouncing back and forth between animals by nickelback LOL, rag doll by aerosmith, and black velvet by alannah myles ifor like the past week straight

last thing you googled: max greenfield LMAO

time: 5:41 pm

dream trip: i have been DYING to go to italy my whole life. or greece. or i would KILL to go to prague just so i can see the bone church

last book you read: the last book i read was misery by stephen king

last book you enjoyed reading: i did enjoy misery! it was very entertaining and classic sk lol which is always fun

last book you hated reading: ooh last book i hated reading hm. well haha. oh man i have some friends who are going to haaaate me for saying this but. probably piranesi by susanna clarke. i wouldn't say i hated it, but it just. kind of bored me. and i wanted so badly to like it because the whole concept behind the book is so cool! and some of the imagery in it really is gorgeous, but i just couldn't get into it for some reason :/

favorite to cook/bake: i actually love making homemade bagels, it's so fun and they taste even better than store bought (duh lol) and bagels are my favorite things so.

favorite craft to do in your free time: i suppose writing would fit here haha. but yeah i do a lot of writing in my free time if my inspiration and motivation will allow for it.

most niche dislike: i am SURE i have a niche dislike but i literally cannot think of anything rn that isn't like the common ones like the sound of people chewing or neighbors blasting music at 11pm at night.

opinion on circus(es): i don't really care for them one way or the other, they're just kind of things that exist that i haven't given much though to really.

do you have a sense of direction:  HAHA NO. or like. yes but not a good one haha. like i know my neighborhood pretty well and the streets around it, but ask me where the presidio is in relation to my apartment or how to get to the castro from work and im like uhhh idk? lol. i am also one of those people that can not tell you the names of what streets you take to get somewhere for the life or them but ABSOLUTELY can be like oh yeah you turn left at the giant rock! and then right at the combination kfc taco bell! which annoys my mom to no end hahaha. i also cannot tell you which way is n/s/w/e either like lol do not ask me that.

tell us about you D&D character: haha yeah so. i have only ever played dnd one (1) time rip, and i was kind of confused about the whole thing so my character is probably suuuper lame, but her name is Periwinkle, Peri for short, and she is a human rogue level 3 (we were asked to make our charactes human and level 3 for the oneshot, so that's why lol). she had a haunted past and can talk to spirits which is p cool. but uh yeah it's been a while and like i said it was for one oneshot lol so i don't really remember the backstory i gave her rip.

tagging:

@steviemunson @mostmetalmunson @pizzaqueen @aberfaeth @eddie-unbanished @stevethehairington @cherry-vamps @rippedkicks @oatflatwhite @tear-soaked-cheeksdonteverlast

[blookmallow]

ok i REALLY gotta start going through my fallout 4 backlog. lets get this going

i have been having a delightful time

----

my girl ruby before Everything Happened

i love fallout giving me the ability to alter my character's face over time so i can gradually add more scars and stuff. i love it. its weird to me looking at this screenshot now bc she's changed so much

though it occurs to me i think i took this before i had completely finished with her face bc shes supposed to have freckles and for some reason doesn't but w/e

i LOVE that fallout 4 shows us Before the war. i love the intro a lot

i didn't know about codsworth's massive name database and happened to pick a name he had programmed and let me tell you hearing him say my character name threw me for a loop sfjg

i cannot believe how many names they accounted for this is excellent

oh look i have a baby

i don't love the assigned backstory though it took me a while to be able to define my character and it still doesn't really vibe very well for ruby. i think she was dating (nate? literally i dont even remember my tragic backstory husband's name sdgfjh) because he was a nice guy and she had no Reason not to. he proposed and she said yes because there was no Reason to say no. getting married is just what people do. they weren't Planning for a baby, but she got pregnant, and well, that's what's happening now. she wasn't opposed to the idea. she loves children. but the domestic life was never what she Wanted, not really. the truth is she loves the post apocalyptic life. she misses the world before but she loves fighting for justice and going out to rebuild the commonwealth with her own hands. she loves urban exploring and scavenging. and it tears her apart because she feels like she shouldn't. she lost her family. she lost her husband. she lost her whole life and is surrounded in human tragedy every day. but in her heart she feels she was made for this

i don't know if it's the writing or if it's me or what it is but i just didn't really feel anything about this. maybe just because i was given no time to know this man or my relationship with him but im channeling it into my character as "she doesn't feel as hurt as she knows she should and doesn't know how to process any of this"

why are the names written in like this. this makes no sense everyone else is listed by surnames except my family. i know it's probably so that you have no established last name but it's weird

loving the fact that i can just x-ray vision all the containers and see what's in everything without even opening them. extremely convenient

YOU'RE STILL HERE

MY BOY

i felt so bad for leaving him behind i m so fucking glad he's okay but also, he has been stuck here alone for like 200 years. the trauma he's coping with is genuinely horrific

my GOD everything looks so beautiful!! i had such a weird clashing emotional experience with this intro bc like. i love new vegas but it is very beige. and there's so much color here despite the destruction. i love the retro futurism aesthetic. the radio music is so jazzy and bouncy. so im having a great time and super excited to explore this new world but also, this is the worst day of my character's life,

PUMPKIN

THERES PUMPKINS

not food

ew

BLUE!!!!!! LOOK AT THAT BLUE i love these i love them

fsadjgh thanks

war never changes

how did this even happen what caused these skeletons to stay like this

sweet rolls....

who did this

shout out to this fucking mannequin for scaring the shit out of me when i looked over here

just. 200 years overdue. it's fine

i keep finding these and i pick them up every time im on a personal mission to find a library to put them in sfjkdg

BLOOD CAN???????

[rainswept]

ngl i had to take a fat nap after that response ☹️

i have genuinely never felt so overwhelmed with emotion before, now we're in the same boat because i don't even know what to say to tell you exactly how much i enjoyed reading all of it. i got that whole eyes burning going on n shit and im having a very fun awesome time trying to put a name to whatever the feeling in my chest is (not), but love sounds like a nice way to put it so we'll go with that! i love you too, and appreciate the time you took to write everything out more than any sentence can convey the full meaning of

you're right about me not expecting my ask to mean so much, i wrote it because i knew most authors (and creators as a whole) like hearing how their viewers discover their work. you said you were curious in the notes of the url post, i thought i might as well send in my story to satisfy.

it would be a big step for me, but also a chance to say something nice to someone who inspired me and then move on after a “thank you” or vague acknowledgement to… prove to myself interacting isnt as bad as i thought it'd be?? something like that. i’m not sure what i wanted you to say, or how i wanted to feel about it

bbuut as per usual, you managed to surprise me no matter what i was looking for ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ ) and it wasn't all over the place or hard to understand at all. my turn to be dramatic:

“what is the point of feeling if, as soon as you pry your eyes away from the page, the emotion fades with the ink?” is definitely a question i connect with. impressionable teenager check ‼️

i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive.

they aren't real right? who cares? which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming. imagine not being able to delve into those depths. of course it feels uncomfortable to be pulled under the waves at first— you aren't going to be able to breathe— but the underwater life has so much to offer. i know it now, because i’ve seen that unknowable infinity in your work and in your passion. and there's so much more to sea (ba dum tiss). thank you so much for showing me that

love changes a lot of people. it is sacrifice, and you often have to make compromises. so why not let myself be devoured by that endlessness? i would rather suffer, be swallowed by the ocean and have all of my soft edges filed into jagged pieces by the currents than to have never known that pain at all. because it changed me. i want to remember that.

i want to remember your words, and the part you played even if i am left with only hurt, because love is also giving. it's greed knows no bounds. it's scary, the only thing i had to offer was myself and my experience. but it's getting easier. i’m happy to be seen as a member of your audience, and will applaud every success long after our interests no longer align because that is my compromise for you ♥(ˆ⌣ˆ)

hope all that makes sense. i like the umbrella tag! i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️

ANON i am so sorry for the late response i had to process this. i’m having such a hard time posting these bc i just want to keep them treasured in my inbox forever ugh

long post again

ANYWAY. you’re so poetic this is insane. hello???//?/? when i first saw this there were tears in my eyes literally. i cannot. the first paragraph. actually all of them. i . died?? goodbye?? this is the end of me as i know it. i will never be the same. these r the most impactful words anyone has ever said to me i think. i have no words. genuinely no words i’m going to melt into thr floor. plea. please. spare me anon. spare me. i’m in agony right now ur writing is so beautiful. ANONNNNN😭😭😭😭😭😭 god i will never recover. i am in tears

“i said i want to love like you because the way you dedicate yourself so completely is something i’ve never been able to do. i wasn't into picking apart characters before because i thought it was obsessive. they aren't real right? who cares?”

i get that, in a way. but as you said — “which leads me to the metaphor i used for your writing: wholly consuming.” — that’s how it feels to me, too, and it always has. i get the idea of thinking something isn’t important because it’s not real, but i’ve always latched onto them regardless. so i had to write, honestly. to get it out. because otherwise it would consume me instead. it sounds very dramatic, i’m aware, but it’s true — i have so many feelings surrounding these fictional pixels and stories and they have so much to offer and they take up too much space in my brain and if i do not talk about it i will Explode ™️. Or Implode ™️. so i write! because i want to. because i have to. because otherwise it will Swallow Me Whole. and i’d rather embrace it! i’ve always been an ‘obsessive’ person when it comes to interests — it’s all or nothing for me. so it’s one or the other — i can drown or i can swim, but i can’t really get out of the water of my own volition,,, and i’d rather not drown. so i’m both glad i inadvertently introduced you to that way of seeing things, and regret it, because it does hurt sometimes. but it’s worth it to me, and it seems like it is to you too, so that’s good!

ONCE AGAIN i could copy and paste this entire ask and comment on it but i fear it’ll just be me repeating your sentences and gawking at them and it would get way too long. 😭😭😭😭 so i’ll just let your ask speak for itself

“i’m being perceived and i haven't exploded (yet) (destruction is imminent) ☂️” also we can explode together actually. i’m glad u allowed urself to be perceived because. oh my god. 😭😭😭😭 this ask changed the trajectory of my life forever. half joke. destruction is not imminent you’ve got this

also, you’re definitely more than just a member of my audience now, in my opinion. if you do decide to stick around (and i hope you do), i hope we can become friends eventually too! even if you decide not to, these interactions have meant more to me than you know! so thank you, either way

[mappingway]

i’m fishblind

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, don’t kill me because of the ending, sebastian and reader are the definition of right person wrong time, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, also this part has some funny moments but overall it’s a big SOB

part: 6/6 (there will also be an epilogue)

(other parts)   (masterlist)

This is how it ends: broken hearts from crashed dreams.

Sebastian holds you until his muscles ache and your lungs burn from the feeling of too little oxygen. It is cold and dark, almost midnight, too dark, a starless night.

No more stars for you and I.

“Here,” Voice hoarse, eyes heavy-lid and itching from almost crying. He gives you one of the rings he wore in the movie. “I want you to keep this.”

Keep it close to your heart. Forget me not.

He takes a breath and a step back, tries to regain all the strength he still has, steady feet and shoulders fixed. He digs his nails into his palms, red marks in his skin, air catching in his throat, he’s on the verge of falling but he stays standing.

He remembers tears glistening down his cheeks, maybe they were yours not his, and the cold autumn wind hitting his face and he remembers feeling like he’s dying.

And then he closes the door of Argyris’ car and looks at you.

And his heart stretches and stretches and stretches and then somehow splits in half.

/

It goes like this:

There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment from now on. In the living room. Sitting on the couch. And it has steel blue eyes and a familiar heart. And it whispers a love story, half-finished, and you cannot make it stop.

The ghost touches your collarbone and he’s gone but there’s a ring in a golden chain around your neck and a white shirt forgotten in your laundry. And it smells like him. The clinging scent of his aftershave sticking to your pores. Eucalyptus. And no matter how hard you try to wash it off, it still lingers.

How could I ever forget someone like you?

The ghost lives here, but the place is empty, so empty. And it’s hard not to cry.

/

Sebastian calls and texts a lot.

He tells you he’s tired but excited because he started filming a new movie. It’s very indie and experimental, I can’t wait for you to see it. He tells you he’s missing his days in Greece like hell and that one night he dreamt of you. Didn’t want to wake up. What he doesn’t tell you is that he’s coming back in a month, Argyris needs him for some extra scenes. It’s nearly killing him but he doesn’t tell you. He wants to surprise you, see the pure light in your eyes when they’ll meet his.

/

You try sexting. It doesn’t go very well.

23:50, sebastian: if you were here in my bed right now what would you be doing

06:51, you: probably falling asleep hahaha

06:51, you: oh fuck was i supposed to sext back

06:51, you: sorry seb i just woke up and i have a class in an hour, love you <3

23:52, sebastian: fuck timezones

/

(three weeks and 10 seconds later)

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know you’re here,” Argyris shakes his head as he’s driving home from the airport, “If I were her, I’d kill you.”

“Good thing I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Sebastian laughs and looks out of the car window. The stars. There are so many stars tonight. He holds his breath; he’s finally feeling whole again. His heart isn’t split in two anymore.

/

You don’t know how long you stand there at your door, staring at him, but it feels like a century before he grins, almost laughs, takes your hands in his and you start considering that perhaps this isn’t a hallucination. Perhaps it’s real.

“Surprise?”

Something inside of you bursts, your organs twitch. You can’t think, you can’t speak, but you can move. You don’t lose any more time, you take a step forward, attach your bodies, your face buried in his neck, your fingers clutching into the rough fabric of his jacket. You breathe him in like an antidote.

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You kiss him and it’s like poetry, like art, like honey and you can’t separate yourself from him, not even hours later.

/

(looking back, these were the golden days)

You pretending to be mad at him for not telling you he was coming back and him pressing his lips on your skin, drawing patterns on your naked shoulder. A feathery touch.

Sebastian always touches you like you’re something made of gold and porcelain, something cherished that constantly needs to be treasured. And nobody has done that before. And you love him for it.

You try to decorate your Christmas tree together. He messes with the lights for a while, eventually gives up and goes on to eat too many reindeer shaped cookies.

He massages your muscles when you write a boring essay for college.

You go with him when he has to shoot a “driving a motorcycle naked in the centre of Athens” scene and you bite the inside of your cheeks to stop smiling like an idiot.

He gives you a dress he bought for you in New York.  

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

He calls you sweetheart in the mornings, still half asleep and later joins you in the shower.

“Why are you so hot?”

“Climate change”

“Oh, shut up”

It’s tender and it’s soft and it’s human.

And that’s the saddest part.

/

Soon you realize that him leaving two months ago was merely a rehearsal and you still haven’t said your actual goodbyes. Your chest starts to feel as if it’s full of crushed glass.

And it’s ridiculous because you fell in love with Sebastian sometime between the first ten days you spent together.

Who falls in love in ten days?  

Ridiculous or not, you know you are in love with him just as you know that sooner or later, whatever he is feeling will fade and wither. Maybe it’ll be in a week, maybe it’ll be in a month, maybe in a year if you’re lucky. But there will definitely come a day when he will step out of a gala or a party or a fancy gym in New York with a beautiful model in his arms and two paparazzi’s following him around.

What will you be then?

A past small cameo in his life. A side character. Will he remember your name?

He is your whole world.

(a bottle of cheap prosecco helps you decide that)

He is your whole world.

And yet, there will come a day when he won’t even remember your name.

/

It was difficult. No, it was the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Telling him how you think it’d be better if you didn’t talk after he leaves.

“I don’t agree with this.”

“Seb, it’s for the best.”

Your body doesn’t feel strong enough to carry your heart. And you’re certain it will only get worse once he’s away. The world around you will melt. You’ll obsess over a phone screen and his messages. You’ll start chasing ghosts again. You can’t handle that.

“Why?” He says urgently and his fingers dance over the flesh of your palms.

“Because this”, you motion your hand between the two of you, “is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life and I don’t want it to become ugly.”

He nods, he understands.

“I love you, you know,” he says smiling and tugs you closer to him, “And I may not be here to show you but I think I’ll love you for a long time.”

Your hand grips his waist right to the bones and something flares in your eyes, something wild that wrenches you around.

“I know, I’ll love you the same.”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Only if I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

He laughs and you look at him, fully aware he’ll be ripped out of your life like a page from a cheap leather notebook. And when you kiss for the last time, there’s a hole forming in your soul.

And just because endings don’t leave visible scars to one’s body and soul, that doesn’t mean the scars don’t exist. You know they do, because you feel the aching pain of every single one of them.

/

(every night when you close your eyes you see him)

(every night you look at the stars and think of him)

/

A month passes and Argyris asks you if you miss him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“He said the exact same thing.”

You tell him not to mention Sebastian again.

Two months pass and you need to stop stalking his instagram profile.

Three months pass and you almost text him.

Four months pass and you go to watch Endgame with some friends and you cry. You cry when Black Widow sacrifices herself and when Iron Man smiles at his wife while dying, and when Bucky Barnes appears on screen.

The others don’t understand and you don’t blame them.

Five months pass and Argyris’ girlfriend wants you to meet someone. A charming boy your age with blonde hair and a lip piercing.

And he's cute but you compare him to Sebastian even before he has the chance to say his name. His eyes are not the right shade of blue and he doesn’t look at you like you’re made of the world’s finest jewel.

And he doesn’t know any constellation names.

And then more than a year passes in a second and you learn to not look for him. Not anymore.

/

It’s early March 2020 and despite the rising fear of the upcoming pandemic, you’re doing well. Scars are starting to fade. And after spending two weeks in Prague, your best friend being there with an exchange program, Sebastian Stan is the farthest thing from your mind.

Until he literally comes crashing into you. At the airport.

No, it can’t be him.

You have your suitcase on one hand and a bottle of antiseptic gel on the other. He has two bodyguards on his sides and a black hoodie on.  And while half of his face is hidden behind a mask, you can see his eyes perfectly. A frozen lake in December. You would know those eyes in your deathbed, at the end of the world.

Your vision gets blurry and suddenly you feel cold.

He won’t recognize me, he can’t.

But then he looks at you and every memory you had buried inside of you resurfaces.

He motions to his guards to wait for him and he starts walking towards you. You breathe slowly, one breath at a time. He takes his mask off and you hesitate to take yours, not sure if you truly want him to see you.

You exchange the typical and very awkward hi, how are you, i’m glad you’re doing okay and then he smiles and it feels comfortable. Familiar.

It’s the whiff of another time that you always kept around. A reminder that you were once loved by a god.

“What are you doing here?”

“Filming Falcon and the Winter Soldier”

If you hadn’t unfollowed him on instagram, you’d known.

“Ah yes I heard about that, congrats.”

He nods a thank you.

“And you? In Prague?”

“I was at a friend.”

He looks conflicted, hurt, turns his gaze to his shoes on the grey cement. You want to say something, but you feel like throwing up.

And then he laughs.

“I was right.”

You’re confused, he notices.

“Back in Greece,” he swallows, “I told you this would happen.”

“It would have been an airport, different gates for each of us, but same waiting hall. Or a Greek island, where we’d both be for the summer.”

“I would have found you.”

You remember and you cannot help but smile. He was right. He found you.

“I didn’t believe you then.”

I barely believe you now.

He touches your hair. And his touch is like a knife. And you want to cry. Magnolias under your tongue. A love long lost is whispering in your ears until it hurts to listen. He’s like a magnetic field and you feel yourself drowning in him.

“I bet they’ll ask me a hundred questions about you later.” He says and looks at the two men waiting for him.

“And what will you tell them?”

“That you’re most probably the love of my life.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“There’s no way we’d meet here if you’re not.”

“Sebastian,” His name sounds like a prayer coming out of your lips and you're ready to tell him you love him and you can swear he looks like he’s ready to faint, “I-”

The guards yell his name. And it's the same feeling people have just before a car crash.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

One last look.

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

You repeat it over and over again. But you fail.

“No, don't cry” He smiles, one last smile, “Just look at the stars and wait for us to meet again, because we will.”

He caresses the back of your palm for a second and you think your ribcage is shattering but it’s only your heart drumming frantically. Pushing your fragile bones to break. 

You want to stop him, wrap your arms around his torso, never let him go. Not again. But you don’t.

You just watch him leave, one more time, your knees weak, your head heavy and dizzy. For the split of a moment he turns and glances at you but then he’s nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps it was all in your imagination. Perhaps it was nothing but a wonder.

You get into your plane and you silently sob.

/

And then it’s summer.

And you overhear he was seen with a girl, the day before your vacation starts and you find a picture of them together a week later, a pretty blonde girl clinging to his side with a colorful bikini somewhere in Spain. And he’s smiling. And you feel so ashamed. And so stupid.

They say time heals all wounds but they must be wrong because you can’t forget how he used to smile at you or how he used to call you the love of his life.

Was he joking when he said you'll meet again? You bet if you asked him now, he wouldn't even remember saying it.

I’ll love you for a long time.

So long for nothing.

/

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :) also i’m really sorry if you asked me to tag you and i didn’t  but i lost a lot of asks and the urls of the people that sent them :( 

tagging: @lharrietg @awkward117 @dannaloureen @broccoligf @cutestfangirlvevo @caitdaniels @arymb @buckybarnesishot310 @roguesthetic @itsaliceheree @sara-1705 @dorothea-hwldr @freshfreakoaftrash @drinkfantasy @christinamcdonnell ​@partypoison00 ​ @90ssantiago

[deluluass]

Red, like blood. Blue, like love.

Content warnings: rape/noncon; nsfw; bullying; soulmates au

Prompt: 88 & 183

There’s someone for everyone, you’d learned growing up.

 "Remember, blue means happy," your mother would say. "The happiest you'll ever be.”

She liked reminding you about this fact— for it is an indisputable truth, every so often when she could still carry you. You’d be hugged from the back, as she recounted stories of first meetings, serendipitous and life changing in their nature; belonging to those who’ve lived long before you, sometimes even those who’ve only lived in tales.

Mostly, your mother loved telling those involving the people she knew. And if you’ve behaved properly, she would tell you about hers. 

Tracing your palm, starting from the forked lines to the dashed ones on your fingers, she’d say, “These would start to glow like stars.”

“That’s weird!” you’d burst out, shrieking a laughter as she tickled you. 

“Listen carefully,” she chastised. “Blue is for your soulmate, okay?”

And you’d repeat: Blue is for my soulmate.

“Then, mama,” you tugged at her sleeves, “What if it’s really, really bright red! Like! Bloody glow sticks! Say, mama, you see, everyone at the park was talking about the man who died because he touched someone and his hand became bright re— ”

You never brought that up again. What your mother said about it had been enough to never make you forget.

“Tell me if you get red,” she said firmly, clutching your arms as if she feared someone would snatch you away from her. “Red is bad, my heart. Red means run.”

 It hadn’t nearly been as gruesome as your mother made it out to be. 

Case in point, when you turned twelve the couple three houses down your street found out, shortly after their honeymoon, that their palms gleamed a fierce red once they clasped each other’s hands in front of the neighborhood aunties.  

Their marriage ended with a swift and ordinary divorce, a year or so later.

Red: Not just an ominous warning for homicide, then. That was a relief, you’d thought.

Contrary to how your mother framed it, you were thankful, actually. It helped some of your friends escape from potentially hellish relationships. How lucky is it that you lived in a reality where the universe seemed exceedingly benevolent. Though, you sometimes have to question if that generosity extended to everyone.

Fat lot of good it did for you. 

Because, from where you’re standing, it doesn’t have to take some arbitrary and unsolvable scientific mystery to heed that Oikawa Tooru must be avoided like the plague.

Any person in your shoes would be conditioned to do exactly that. 

You’d first met in Elementary. You thought he was the prettiest kid you’d ever seen, with chestnut curls and doe eyes and lashes that swept past his cheeks, and when you’d asked for a hand shake he’d called you “the ugliest girl I’ve ever seen” and “fart face.” 

Recess and lunch were when he’s most fearsome. Spiky burdocks slapped on the collar of your dress; dead lizards in your food; the boy was determined. The worst part was that it always happened when no one was looking. And if someone were, it was his best friend. So when you finally told on him to your mom, both your teacher and the principal simply judged Oikawa as the victim of an attention deprived child.

“Please discipline your daughter,” they told her. “We are all aware of your situation at home, but do ensure that she’s not getting out of control.”

You couldn’t even muster up the strength to defend yourself. In that moment all you could do was swear that you’d never allow anyone to talk to your mother in that way again. 

You moved out of that school. 

You didn’t wait for your palms to flash a warning signal because, somehow, you knew that boys who discover early that they could get away with anything cannot get any better. 

There’d been no way to be sure of that until Aoba Johsai— after a peaceful interim of no Oikawa; no red palm lines (and no blue ones, either).

The proof hit you in the face. Literally. 

“Oi, Shittykawa!”

Heat permeated from your nostrils as you patted your cheek, detached and staring back at the large gymnasium. 

“You hit someone!”

How unlucky did a person have to be to bleed right on the first day of classes? 

You tried to lean forward. “It’s okay,” you slurred nasally, pinching your nose and averting your embarrassed gaze from the boy kneeling next to you.

“Trashykawa! You better hurry and apologize!”

“Don’t be mad, Iwa-chan,” that disgustingly saccharine voice came from behind you, making you flinch, as if the years you’d spent apart had done nothing to purge it out of your system.

In all honesty, you hadn’t really cared for whoever was responsible for the ball that careened all the way to where you were standing, so sure that it had to be an accident. No one in their right mind would want to injure someone they barely knew, especially if said someone is a couple of feet away from you. 

Morally and athletically, it should’ve been improbable. But then you saw who did it and everything made perfect sense.

Iwa-chan. The boy beside you. Iwaizumi Hajime.

If he’s here, then— 

“You,” he whispered. 

“Eh?! Gosh, I’m so sorry!” Oikawa Tooru gasped. “You’re bleeding.”

Time is cruel. It wears down on you, tears you and molds you into something you can’t even recognize, if it decides to. (Fate, more so). You didn’t know if you wanted to cry or laugh, looking at him. If the universe were so benevolent, then perhaps Oikawa Tooru had received all of its favor.

He was beautiful. You’d known this before, but with all the baby fat replaced with sharp yet slender angles, figure lean and imposing even when he’d lowered himself to meet your eyes, Oikawa didn’t seem real.

“I did hit someone, didn’t I?” he pouted, wiping the dried blood atop your lip. “And such a pretty girl, too.”

That volleyball existed should’ve made life better for you. It didn’t. If anything, it seemed that out of the court, when he’s not taking names and being praised like a god, you were his little pastime. Something fun to take his mind off whatever it is he thinks about it. 

The mocking comments, you could handle; every time you’d recite and he’ll interject with something playful and then the entire class would laugh (because he’s Oikawa) and your professor would reprimand him but you could always tell that they, too, are holding in a giggle. 

Those were easy to bear, because although his insults hit way too close to home, it’s just— it’s just so petty.

Really, it’s the aftermath that does the damage.

“They’re like Christmas lights under your skin!” 

This topic pops up every month or so. Most people your age can be lucky enough to meet their soulmate this early. 

“And it’s the most awesome feeling in the world,” your classmate sighed. “When we touched hands? Man. We just- we glowed.”

Then, the others would poke fun, faking a gagged expression, but they’d always ask afterwards, “What happened next?” And everytime, you’d watch from the sidelines. Like an uninvited audience. 

You tried being a part of it once, wanting to share about the time your close friend met her soulmate. But all you’d gotten were side eyes and titters, as if they were laughing about a joke only you didn’t know about. 

“They’re so mean to you.” 

You groaned.

Oikawa was seated behind you, resting his head against his elbow. Everyone was too busy talking about blue lights and destined souls to notice what’s happening at the back of the room. 

He continued, “Not including you in conversations, treating you like an outsider.”

You didn’t bite, focusing on the opened book in front of you.

“Must be lonely, having no one.”

“Oikawa,” you muttered under your breath. “I don’t have the energy for this.”

The silence that came after that was unexpected. You were sure it would be short lived; he’s just gearing up for more. He usually went at it until you’d have no choice but to physically remove yourself from his presence. You’d thought once that that may be why he does this so much. Maybe he still thought you were the “ugliest girl” he’s ever met and he wants you out of his sight. Because Oikawa’s infantile like that.

But the silence stayed, accompanied by the background noise of eager conversations; lingering some more as white, fluffy clouds passed by the glass windows. 

When he broke it, all Oikawa said was, “Soulmates, huh.”

You felt a finger touch your back, drawing the barest of lines over your uniform. He removed them just before you could stand up and leave. 

You disliked those moments with him. 

You disliked him especially when he played. 

Oikawa’s a monster, be it in volleyball or with you. There are times, though, that you’d notice some things that you think you’re not meant to see. Like after a serve— its impact booming throughout the court, he’d have this puzzling expression on his face. 

It looked like....anger. 

He scored a point, right? Everyone’s cheering for him, aren’t they? Wait, didn’t they win?

You thought maybe it’s the adrenaline making him nastier than usual, but sometimes you’d pass by the gym when he happens to be alone. And that anger is still there, punctuated by the sound of the ball exploding against the floor. Jump. Hit. Spike. Jump. Hit. Spike. He’d do it, again and again and again. 

As if he’s trying to grasp something even he cannot reach. 

Those instances should’ve taught you that the best thing to do is look away. 

That’s what you should’ve done. Look away.

They lost the Interhigh tournament.

You knew this not because you’d watched, but because for one day, Oikawa Tooru wasn’t your bully. 

The derision was replaced by sulking. He didn’t speak for the entire period. The funniest thing about it was that everyone kept staring at you. Like somehow you’d been the cause of this, when all of them were lamenting the loss just as much as the team itself. 

 What was supposed to be a reason for celebration suddenly became a crime that you had to explain for.

 “Great,” you grumbled to yourself. “One time I don’t have a target on my back, now I’m the bad guy.”

Trash bag in hand, the scraps inside rattled against each other as you stomped to the recycling bin, both sleeves of your P.E jacket folded up to the elbows. You affected a tone, choosing to mock the grating way some of classmates talked:

“Oh, hey, if it’s not too much,” you began. “Can you please be his punching bag again? If you will, can you relieve our superstar’s burdens? By, I don’t know, alluring him into walking all over you? Like the good old days! Please, oh please? We rely on you, oh Great Punching Bag! We Beseech thee, oh Esteemed Doormat! We compel— dude, what the fuck?!”

Crumpled papers and steel and tin cans rolled to the ground. You didn’t pick them up, like you should’ve; you left it there, trash bag lying open, and grabbed the ball that whisked mere inches from your face. 

This time you’re not making the same mistake. The asshole is more than capable of suspending what little morals he has, just to hurt someone he barely knew. As well as athletically adept (an understatement, that) at hitting a walking target; or not hitting it, in this case.  

You stormed the almost empty gym. Oikawa is a ray of sunshine, greeting you with that smile. It makes you want to punch him.

“What is wrong with you?” you spat. 

He chuckled. “Whoops. Sorry!” 

“I’m not having this-” you shoved the ball to his stomach. He didn’t even blink. “This isn’t gonna slide anymore, Oikawa.”

Wide grin still in place, he took it from your hands with his much larger ones and said, “Wow, you’re actually mad this time. ”  

Then, he added, “I didn’t mean it! Honest!” 

Must be nice, you thought with a scowl, to be him. Anyone can be sincere if they look anything like Oikawa. 

“Sure. Fine. No, actually,” you glowered. “You know what?” 

“Hm?” He tilted his head. Oikawa tilted his pretty little head.

You seethed. “I get it. You lost. That doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me. I mean, what did I ever do to you, Oikawa? I have-” you exhaled, surprised by the break in your voice. 

“I haven’t done anything to you. We stopped being kids a long time ago. That shit you pull should’ve ended by now. We’ve grown.” You jabbed his chest. “But I see that maybe not all of us have.”

His pleased expression hadn’t dropped. “Ouch,” Oikawa grimaced, glancing amusedly at the place you’d touched. “How mean.”

This isn’t going anywhere. 

You don’t know why it took you this long to realize this, as you shifted your gaze away from him, noticing the gashes on the floor that tear the surface like scars that never healed. That must’ve been because of him, with the amount of practice he does. 

“It won’t be enough, won’t it, Oikawa?” you whispered. “Not for you.”

The smile that’s been there since you arrived tensed, straining at the corners of his lips. 

“Yeah, I’ve been told,” he beamed. 

He was bathing in his own sweat, seeping through his shirt and matting his hair to his face, and he looks— Oikawa looked tired. His eyes were sunken in, too. Did he even sleep?

You’re so used to seeing him not a hair out of place, with a sweet scent that you amusedly thought lures his gaggle of admirers into following him everywhere. It takes you aback, honestly. Particularly the wobble in his step as he bent and squeezed his knee with shaky fingers.

You don’t think he’s aware he’s doing it in front of you.

Then, just like that, everything seemed to have added up.  

“You’ll never be happy,” you said.

You should’ve stopped there. You should’ve left. Instead, you looked him in those brown eyes, the warm hue becoming a lot colder as he moved closer. 

Oikawa sneered. “And what do you know, huh?” 

(Go. Leave.)

“Nothing,” you told him. “I don’t- I don’t know. Because, I don’t get it.”

(Shut up. Shut up.)

“Why you try any harder, I don’t know. Win or lose, it’s all the same. You’re still the same. You’re still awful and annoying and- and still you.” You laughed, unsure why you’re running your mouth like this. 

“Win or lose. Oikawa is still Oikawa,” you breathed in. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

His teammates must’ve gone somewhere. For lunch, maybe, you thought as you eyed the abandoned bottles and used towels scattered around the court. “Besides,” you huffed, not without a twinge of envy. “They’ll all still love you, either way.” 

Everything went still for a while, and you’d just realized what you’d just said.

“What about you?” 

You looked back at him.

“What?”

He tipped his chin. You stepped backwards. 

He brushed your wrist.

“Don’t touch me,” you hissed, but he only smiled and wrapped his entire hand around it. 

Oikawa had been your first bully. Before you could even comprehend what that meant, Oikawa had been the source of your mother’s worries whenever she parted with you at the school gates. It is funny, thinking about it, for letting this boy affect you despite making an effort to stay away the first time. 

But it is only now— now that he has a firm hold on you, gentle yet smothering— that you truly feared Oikawa Tooru. 

It rattled your breath, squeezing your heart and refusing air to pass through your lungs, as you felt a shock zap through you. And apparently through him as well.

You broke away from each out with a cry.

Your hand was burning. That’s the only explanation for it. Your hand was burning and any moment now smoke will diffuse from the pores. 

You waited. Any moment now. But the more you stared at it the more tiny spots of flames sparked under your skin, bursting along the palm lines— first, the forked ones; then, the dashed lines— glaring back at you, glowing brighter, blotting and spreading until they mapped your palms then your entire hands like constellations. 

“Red is bad, my heart,” your mother said. “Red means run.”

“I knew it,” you scoffed, shaking your head. 

Well, it’s not as if this is news to you. 

“What about that, Oikawa?” You put both your radiating hands in the air. “The universe is telling us, you and I? We just don’t—”

Why are you crying?

Why is Oikawa crying? 

“I knew it,” he croaked.

Your mother made the red light sound so horrifying for a reason. 

There has to be a reason, too, why the universe is warning you so late into your life. You’d actually ran before. And when you thought it a waste of money, you chose to stay and not fight back; thinking that his punches have become less severe, degraded into verbal taunts that induce social exclusion at most; that, certainly, red doesn’t forbode something as bad as murder, right?

Well, what now? You were wrong, after all. This time you have a feeling that you actually need to hide. 

Because Oikawa’s looking at you like you’re the last two people left in this Earth. 

Just you and him. Without any need for anybody else. 

You didn’t breathe, attempting to bolt despite the overwhelming need to throw up right where you're standing. He stepped closer, faster than you’d liked, and touched your face, caressing your cheek up to your aching temple.

“You should really stop trying to run away,” he said, voice low as if he’s sharing a secret. “I’ll always find you, you know?”

You didn’t have to look to know. Even if you closed your eyes, as well, you know it’s still going to be there; glowing in the darkness behind your eyelids.

“Me and you—” Oikawa sighed. 

Listen carefully, your mother said.

“ —we have a connection that no one else will ever understand,” he said.

The light emitting from his hand was so harsh it hurt you, pricking your sight until it drew fat tears, reflecting against your damp face and tinting the fallen streaks with bright—

Blue means happy, she told you. The happiest you’ll ever be.

And you’d repeat: Blue. Blue is for—

“My soulmate," Oikawa said, before locking you in a deep, searing kiss. 

The lights didn't die even as he dragged you into the storage room.  

"Hey, where'd senpai go?" 

The rest of the volleyball team came in droves, occupying the hollow court with their squeaking shoes and questions about Oikawa's whereabouts.

"Must've gone somewhere," you heard a deep voice say. 

You could answer that question. All you  had to do was scream. They weren't so far from the room that they wouldn't pick it up over the noise of their volleyball practice. Really, if you needed to, you could even outshout their guttural yells of "Nice kill!"

Though, you'd have to remove the underwear lodged in your mouth first. 

Yours, in fact; soaked now by your own saliva, drool dripping to your chin as your wrists chafed against the rope that's keeping them tied at your back.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" You felt every sickening movement of Oikawa's lips against your throat. "Feels good when you- ah, fuck- when you give in."

With the cloth muting your shrill bawling, you tried your best to recall how you ended up here: seated on his lap as he sluggishly humped himself against you, his still glowing hands cupping your ass.  

The only thing left on your body was your bra, and even that he's already lowered to let your tits spill over the top. Your pants and t-shirt and jacket are lying around somewhere. You couldn't determine where in particular; the only sources of light were behind you.  

He was leaving imprints of blue all over your skin; around your waist as he slithered his hands to reach your breasts, scantily brushing over the hardened nipples and making you keel over.

"So sensitive," he tutted, smooching your neck so gently that even the underwear couldn't muffle your loud yelp when he suddenly bit into the flesh. Hard. 

You wanted to claw his eyes out and call for help and you wanted badly to scream don't do that Oikawa someone please save me he's gonna kill me he's gonna kill me-

But the gag remained intact and the boys outside continued their game, ignorant that their precious captain is taking everything away from you. 

Sharp canines bruised your skin, provoking a fresh batch of tears as he sucked and licked every after cruel bite. 

Then, when you thought the worst had passed, he removed his mouth from your neck to spit onto your bare cunt, allowing it to slide from the hair on your mound to the nub sticking out in the middle.

(It is not enough that he is killing you. Oikawa must defile you, too.)

His fingers gripped the insides of your thighs open when you tried to shut them together. "Don't be a brat," he clicked his tongue.

"Be a nice little kitten for me," Oikawa drawled, smearing the slick that's soaking your folds against the spittle coating your clit.

You didn't notice when he'd taken his cock out, you only realize that he's about to enter you when he teased your entrance with it, pushing the tip to nudge the drenched hole, only to pull it back again.

And you didn't dare look. The feel of it almost stretching you out with just the head is already driving you to insipid begging.

"What'd you say, kitten?" he pouted.

Oikawa you've already taken too much is it never going to be enough Oikawa let me go.

"I can't understand you," he chuckled. "Here—"

He pulled the underwear out of your mouth as he thrust all the way inside, your back arching, driving him deeper, as his cock throbbed against your pussy walls.

"Now, what were you saying?"

You swallowed your cries and heaved and swore you were gonna tear his heart out after this. 

"Say," he whispered, sniffing your wet panties without breaking his gaze. "If everyone saw us right now, how'd you think they'd react?"

It was so reverent, the way he did it, blue light revealing that he closed his eyes as he took a whiff, as if he hung onto your scent like a lifeline.

But you thought that'd been a calculated move, because as you dumbly stared at him, he immediately gyrated his hips under you, rocking back and forth ever so slowly, and you remembered that you had to keep quiet.

His cock was so big inside you, making you bite your lip as it filled you up, the curved tip hitting a spot that has you squirming in his embrace.

"At this point they'll know how much of a whore you are," he said, tangling his muscled arms around yours and anchoring you to his body. "Made just for me."

"Oika-Oikawa…"

You don't know this person. 

"Help..me.."

You don't know who's speaking out and whimpering for Oikawa, on her knees and bouncing up and down on his lap with weak, quivering thighs. 

It couldn't be you.

"Help you?" You felt him nuzzle your neck. "I thought you wanted me to stay away, though?"

Someone mewled out a pathetic, "N-no."

"No? Then what d'you want, kitten?"

(Oh. Oh, he feels so fucking good.)

Your belly has never felt this hot before and it's driving you crazy that you're chasing for something you cannot see and it feels so near but there's something, something that's keeping you from it that all you can do is grind your sopping cunt closer to him.

"Wanna- I wanna cum."

Oikawa kissed you on the forehead, and then he said, "Go ahead, then."

He released your arms. 

Then, he's scooping cum off your pussy, making sure to drag his fingers under the lips, before circling your large, swelling clit. Then, he's sucking your tits and swirling his tongue around a nipple and you're so so close.

"That's it," Oikawa sighed. "Ride my cock, baby."

His rough palm slapped both your ass cheeks and the cry that erupted from you only made him laugh. 

"Make yourself cum on my cock," he grunted, licking his smiling lips as he leaned back against the wall, hand idly rubbing your dripping clit. "You're making a mess, darling. Leaking like that."

You're quivering all over; your cunt is spasming and your legs are complaining beneath you, but you don't stop. You lift your hips and then sink your pussy down, down until you feel his balls touching your sore ass, the sloshing sound growing louder as you move faster. 

You don't think about what this'll all mean later, what you're doing giving in to him, when you scream out his name. But as soon as you did, Oikawa's growl had been your only warning.

He grabbed the back of your head and kissed you, plunging his tongue into your throat, his strong arms pressing you so close to him you can no longer tell his skin from yours, his battering heartbeat from yours. 

You didn't move—weren't allowed to, when he hammered his cock into you, pounding your cunt and fucking you raw until you're breathless and nothing but a shuddering wreck, splitting at the seams in his hands as you feel thick spurts of hot cum slide out of you. 

"My pretty girl," came his hoarse whisper. "My pretty, pretty girl."

The lights have dimmed, when he cradled your shaking form and moved out of you, faint traces left on just the palm lines and fingertips. 

They were flooded by the sudden brightness that enveloped the storage room.

"Holy shit."

You pressed your eyes close, your entire body prickling at Oikawa’s touch.

It shouldn't be surprising, at this point, that Oikawa, as quick as he'd stripped you off of everything, has already covered you back in your jacket. The smell of it striking you ruthlessly, that old cologne that you always use to school reminding you of who you were, before all this.

Had it only been a few hours? It felt like a lifetime ago.

"Ah," Oikawa murmured. "They caught us."

"Oikawa,” someone roared. Oikawa held you, hiding your face against his chest. “Why you son of a-"

"C-coach..! Stop- Oi, someone help me hold him- no, coach! "

You heard him chuckle. “Sorry about this, everyone.” He held up his hand and you had to keep yourself from sobbing. “But, look.”

There were several gasps. 

(Everybody knows now.)

“You..and her?” 

The boy who said that sounded so astonished, clearly overjoyed for some reason, that it revolted you.

“Mhm,” he nodded, a smile in his voice. “Now, can you guys please give us some privacy?” 

Feet shuffled out of the room, along with stuttered apologies. They all left. 

Except for one.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa pouted.

“What did you do, Oikawa?”

A beat. Then, he repeated, “Iwa-chan.”

Please. 

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything. 

Please help me.

“Sure,” he grunted.

He was gone, too, after that.

You were back in the darkness, with nothing but the faltering red and blue on your hands and his, while he untied your wrists and kneaded the abrasion away, cooing sweet nothings to your ear. 

“I hate you,” you rasped. 

“Don’t say that.”

“I fucking hate you-”

“Please stop yelling-”

“I won’t ever forgive you, Oikawa!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he cried, shaking his head as he brushed your tear-stained cheeks with both thumbs. You clutched them, wanting him off you, but he only latched himself firmly into you. “We’re meant to be.”

“You’re the only one for me.” 

Oikawa brought your numb hand to his face, pressing a kiss to your palm, the red light basking him in its soft glow.

“And I’m the only one for you,” he said, intertwining your fingers together. 

The lights flickered in and out, at first, as you stared vacantly into it, the red and blue swallowing each other. Until they finally disappeared, leaving just you and him, curled against each other in the shadows.