#i lose my patience a lot currently too

[stargazingpsychotic]

If even at my best recently the best idea is to just hurt myself so bad I have to get help regardless of consequences. If I die, I die, if not then maybe I'll have at least got back on meds like I was supposed to months ago. If I can at least get that, and not be how I am now for most of every day that would be something. If I need help and asking for it isn't enough and having tried several times recently with people knowing about it isn't enough then I just have to do worse and worse until it's importable to ignore. And I hate this, I get how this sounds, but what other choice is there? I have nothing to help manage this currently. All I had was later tonight, and once that goes there's nothing to think about making it to, not that it was worth going this long.

[dunmesh]

okay i don't have anything smart to add i just genuinely love that these seemingly trivial jokes are actually an important part of his character. we see it throughout the entire manga, how he pushes aside his own frustration and discomfort to accommodate everyone else's and avoid needless confrontation- another example off the top of my head would be the barometz chapter in which he slowly gets frustrated with izutsumi but still tries his best to talk some sense into her calmly and soundly.

and in contrast, there are very few times he expresses his anger and hurt towards others, and it usually takes a lot for him to finally lose his patience and control.

i mean, even with kabru he tried to be polite despite the circumstances until the guy said the one thing that triggers an immense sense of shame, hurt and rage in laios. and you know, the manga does say it quite clearly early on. when we are introduced to namari and then to shuro, laios acts all friendly and shows his respect and trust in them despite how things ended between them, and everyone else gets frustrated with him for acting so strange- why are you the one who tries so hard to pacify the rest when you should be the angriest?

and they don't understand him. they don't know him well enough to be able to understand, but we as readers get to see during the manga that they aren't wrong to question him- he does, in fact, feel all those ugly emotions. and it's when the winged lion finally confronts him that we see to what extent these feelings he buried so deep go, and suddenly all those funny little moments where he sometimes pretends to be mr nice guy speak volumes about his character. honestly, ryoko kui is a master at using jokes in order to define important character traits and this one doesn't fail to amaze me.

and laios's hatred and rage and deep scars he can't get over aren't shown explicitly during most of these moments i mentioned before, but now you realize there are 26 years of emotional baggage to all of them and they sting. he is angry but he can't say shit, what difference would it make? it won't make his friends choose him instead of themselves when he needed them most, and it won't help his party get any farther. of course, this logic doesn't apply to them- they are absolutely allowed to get angry and it's fine to get mad at him, he can take that.

so after finishing the series it's so clear that he tries his best to avoid clashing with others not just due to the current circumstances and him needing to be a reliable leader but also because he knows that people don't even like him when he tries to show his good sides and hide all the rest, so who the hell would tolerate his rage and despair? who would stay after realizing that he is so deeply flawed he doesn't even like his own being?

but he does get mad. he can't help it, and sometimes it gets out of control and now everyone knows. and it's funny, isn't it? that most of those moments ended up bringing him closer to others. shuro admitting he is envy of him and actually becoming the friend laios thought he was all along, fighting for his sake and waiting for him to come back- believing in him even after he turned into a monster and searching for him the way he couldn't bring himself to do for falin when he learned of what became of her- or kabru being pushed to just let it all out because he couldn't bluff his way out of this one and get to laios any other way, so now they are even. they are both horribly honest with each other and they both choose to stay. a weird way of getting to know each other, but it is what it is.

it's simply... the more laios let himself just be, the deeper his relationships grew. and there's intimacy in being your ugly, weak and furious self around someone and them not leaving you. feeling safe enough to let it be known you are hurt and angry. and he knows that now, too.

[generalsmemories]

sensitive

✧ sunday x gn!reader

✧ synopsis: the wings by his ears are far too sensitive for what you're both about to do to them.

✧ contents: just a lil scenario for the piercings on sunday's wings. and the hc (that has probs become every writers canon take) that his wings are oh so sensitive. established relationship, mildly suggestive cause why not, uhh, mentions of blood? sunday being utterly weak against his lover. ooc sunday cause goddamn i have NOTHING on this man.

✧ a/n: breathes in. listen i don't believe in any god but good lord i would start praying for this man if he asked me to.

jing yuan wips still in order, i just want to be on my best self mentally when writing for my eepy general so have this brainrot so i can function this week at my work and hopefully i'll write something more <3 thank you once again for your patience!

NOT BETA-READ THIS WAS WRITTEN WITHIN AN HOUR CAUSE THIS BRAINROT HAS BEEN BREWING INSIDE THE MIND FOR A MONTH, IM SORRY FOR THE ALL OVER THE PLACE WORDS - I HAVEN'T WRITTEN SINCE THE LAST JING YUAN ANGST PIECE.

Your fingertips have barely grazed the very edges of the feathers when the distinguished leader beneath you flinches in surprise. The fingers that grip your hips tightening further which causes your body that was previously hovering above him to settle down on Sunday's leg. You can hear a tiny sigh leaving his lips before you feel his head rest against your shoulder, the action causing you to chuckle.

"The longer you delay this, the more nervous you'll get, you know?" you muse, threading your fingers through his hair in an effort to coax him to lay back in the same position he previously was in. You're barely able to touch his right wing again before a gloved hand shoots up from his side and you feel a sharp nip at your neck in warning - causing you to immediately halt all of your actions.

"It would've gone a lot faster have you decided to not do it in such an orthodox method, dear." Sunday retaliates with a sigh, pecking the bite mark as some sort of apology, an apology that you knew was not sincere in the slightest.

You giggle once again, settling down comfortably on his legs whilst slightly leaning back to fully look at your lover. Your arms loop over his neck while cocking your head to the side in slight confusion, although said confusion doesn't reach your mischievous eyes or the huge grin on your face. "Why I thought this would help calm you? It was your idea to pierce these wings of yours after all," you remind him, tapping the piercing gun that you're currently holding onto on his shoulder.

The man before you sighs, seemingly in exasperation over your usual antics whilst shrugging away the piercing gun that you're continuously tapping him with. You can however clearly see the slight reddening on top of his ears, while his wings tuck a bit behind his ears - clearly a signal that he's feeling a bit embarrassed.

"You're well aware of the effect you have on me, my love." he admits, the hand on your hip moving from its spot to instead rest against your neck. "Hmm? Then I suggest that you hurry along to let me pierce your wings before said effect makes you lose your patience," you tease with a quiet laugh. "I do have a lot of experience with this lil' gun of ours after all." you cheekily say - causing Sunday to direct his gaze towards your own ears, which have a few more piercings than your average person.

"... I'm well aware." Sunday replies.

Well aware of how sensitive your own ears are, almost as sensitive as his own wings that have yet to be pierced. He could let out a breath beside them which causes you to tremble, a small peck would make you gasp softly, but if he were to use his tongue-

"You're thinking of inappropriate things again, dear." you mutter into his ears before unlooping your arms from his neck to rest against your sides, your whole weight supported by the singular hand Sunday has on your hip.

"Hardly."

For someone not of Halovian descent, you're somehow able to discern his thoughts immediately - quite a hassle to be honst.

"Well then, my dear? Why don't you relax so we can get this over with so you can return to your duties?" you whisper, moving your body to sit between his legs so that you can get a closer look on his right wing, where he preferred the piercing to be on.

"... Just- don't say anything when you're about to do- Ah!"

The single clicking noise of the needle piercing his wing before retracting back to it's original spot makes Sunday jolt in surprise, the grip on your hip increasing in pressure, but you're too busy looking at the placement in glee to care for your distraught lover right now.

You notice the edges of the piercing reddening a bit, extending your finger to gather the tiny bits of blood that had escaped from the wound. Glancing at Sunday, you notice his slightly glossy eyes that immediately diverts from your gaze.

The quiet laugh you let out makes Sunday glare at you, but his eyes widen slightly when you lick his blood away from your fingertips with closed eyes. "It wasn't that bad, was it?" you ask, opening your eyes again to lock eyes with Sunday, diverting your gaze slightly to his right wing.

You decide not to comment on his glossy eyes, deciding to instead scoot closer to peck the corner of his eyes, "Sorry that I surprised you, but as you said - Doing it this way is far more convenient for the both of us," you explain, lips pressing against Sunday's to coax him into relaxation.

"Mhm, thank you for indulging me, dove." he whispers, arms wrapping around your waist, the tension in his shoulders finally leaving.

"Although..." you murmur in between various pecks against Sunday's lips, your lover raising an eyebrow up in confusion and imploring you to continue speaking.

"I think you said you would go for 2 of the same piercings if the first one looked nice, no?" you say before pressing your lips against his once again. Sunday was barely able to understand the meaning behind your words before he could feel the same pain of the needle shoot through his already overly-sensitive wing.

The loud gasp he lets out is swallowed by your lips, his open mouth letting your tongue slip inside while the piercing gun in your hand slips away from your lips now that you've done your part of the deal. Your hands settle themselves against Sunday's cheeks now- wiping away the few tears that have now slipped down from his glossy eyes with your thumb.

There's a certain desperation in Sunday's hands by your waist. He had first bunched the material of your clothes upwards by surprise, but now he's slipping his gloved hands beneath them and quickly traveling further up - he moves in a way that you don't know if he's trying to push you away to scold you, or press you closer to him to feel your warmth.

He eventually decides to push you away. His cheeks are reddened and he's heaving for breaths while he's glaring down at you in mild disappointment and a hint of excitement - and yet the hands that's dragging the buttons of your shirt from inside to snap them open tells another desire from the esteemed leader of Penacony.

The same mischievous smile is present on your lips when you part ways, your lips are a bit swollen but it doesn't stop their journey from grazing against his now incredibly sensitive right wing, the jerk of his entire body not bothering you in the slightest as your lips glide over his feathers, your lover shuddering a bit when you let out a breath right over his newly pierced wings.

"All done now, my love," you mutter into his ear, shrugging off your now ruined shirt off of one shoulder, "Do I get any reward for doing this so smoothly and quickly?"

Sunday lets out a scoff, rolling his eyes at your triumphant expression before shoving you down onto the couch the two of you were previously resting on. "I'm thinking a punishment is more fitting for how you didn't warn me of your actions twice, no?"

[aajjks]

Irreplaceable. (m)

synopsis. He was irreplaceable. You should’ve known that.

warnings. YÄNDÊRÊ CÖNTĚNT, mêntïöns öf kïdnäppïng, ëxtrëmë pösëssïvěnẽss, tǒxïc!göjö, nöncön kïss, prǒfanïty.

note. JJK fans this one’s for you. SEND ASKS AND PLEASE SHARE FEEDBACK ENJOY!

Gojo Saturo, cannot stand you moving on from him.

It makes him want to kill everyone that’s around him, it makes his head fucking explode, he didn’t want to break up

He didn’t want to be away from you, he didn’t want to lose you, but yet he did. He lost you. It was really his fault.

But how could you?

How could you even try to replace him?

Are you that stupid? He understood what a break meant, he was willing to give you a break, he was willing to work on himself. He was willing to do everything, but yet you had to ruin it all.

This was your doing

This wasn’t his fault. You made him do this.

You knew what kind of a man he was, Saturo was a jealous man, extremely possessive and territorial. Did you want to test his patience or were you just trying to make him suffer?

It did work though.

But he wasn’t the only one that suffered the consequences.

It was your current boyfriend too.

What a weak little man, he didn’t even come close to Gojo, your ex didn’t know that you had such bad taste in men. Looking at him almost made. Saturo laugh his ass off.

What a downgrade.

It was really easy though, Saturo didn’t even had to try hard to get rid of him, permanently.

And now he was gone.

And now Gojo is sitting here, hawking at you like a creep, well, you sleep peacefully in his bed, yeah, he kidnapped you.

He was an impulsive man. That was one of his many toxic traits.

He did whatever the fuck he wanted.

And also,

You look so pretty and peaceful like this just like the old times, he could look at you forever. Oh, how much he loves you.

Gojo leans in closer to your face and stares at your face, you look so cute. He wants to kiss you. His gaze travels to your lips and he sighs, his mouth is literally foaming.

He missed you way too much.

Gojo is so impatient, but he’s trying his best to not lose his control, he presses his lips, gently to yours and steals a peck.

“My princess…” he mumbles to himself, just then you start moving, maybe the spell is wearing off, thank God because you’ve been unconscious for a full day.

He was almost starting to get concerned

“hey Baby.” he smiles brightly as he watches you open your eyes, moving your body, so cutely- he finds everything you do, cute.

“W-What the fuck?” that’s the first thing you say, Gojo doesn’t stop smiling, his lips curl up even more, “yes you’re here in my home- no our home baby.” he quickly corrects himself.

“SATURO- WHAT THE FUCK?!” he watches you wince in pain, maybe the spell was too strong, he should’ve been more careful, but he was impatient.

“Shh.. you’re OK you’re safe..” this time he doesn’t even resist the urge to touch your skin, he caresses your forehead with his hands, your forehead is burning.

You have a fever, his smile dies down quick.

“you are burning YN…” should’ve been more careful, you are only a fragile human. Gojo feels guilt bubble up in his chest.

He doesn’t care about the clear panic in your face, you try to slap his hand away, but he doesn’t budge. “baby don’t try to do this right now..” he whispers.

“we’ll talk about this later. We have a lot to talk about anyways.”

“are you fucking insane? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” he holds you down when you try to get up. Saturo rolls his eyes at your struggle.

He’s clearly getting pissed off.

“shut up YN. Yes I’m fucking insane because you tried to replace me. I’m going fucking insane. And that boyfriend of yours is dead… probably.”

Gojo doesn’t even get up from the seat, he glares at you, burning holes into your skin with his gaze.

“I’m fucking fuming. How could you, I was willing to give you space and that’s what you did to me? Immediately tried to replace me with that fucking loser?” he scoffs, and chuckles.

You open your mouth to argue, but he shuts you up, by holding his finger up on your lips, “like I said, shut the fuck up. You know what something I hate and love about you?”

Gojo clicks his tongue, looking at you with this cold blue eyes.

“I love and hate your fucking smart little mouth.”

Gojo caresses your cheek, his finger is feel so so hot on your skin, so soft under his touch.

“Too bad that I missed this pretty little mouth is so much..”

“I missed you way too much to argue like this. And just so you know, I do not regret kidnapping you. And I do not regret doing what I did to your boyfriend.”

You immediately start crying, crying for him to let you go, but he doesn’t listen.

“Stop fucking crying like a baby, now lay down and let me take care of you, come on be a good girl.” he scolds you.

He knows he’s so selfish and cold.

But he doesn’t give a fuck.

“you should’ve known that I was irreplaceable yn, I might’ve given you more time, but you had to do this, now you fucking pissed me off. Too bad that I love you so much though to punish you.”

[clairdelunelove]

dry the rain

simon 'ghost' riley x reader

genre: fluff! (rainy day drabble)

warnings: slightly suggestive, cursing, awkward!ghost

synopsis: getting caught up in the rain during a mission is pretty miserable. but ghost makes it his goal to keep you dry and warm– even if it includes shedding off a layer!

a.n. I've been pushing myself to write more and I had a small idea come to mind since it's been raining a lot recently! personally, I imagine him in his 'jawbone' outfit in this one! stay safe, cuties! and if you wish to show more support here's my kofi! <3

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thinking about ghost's inner dilemma when the weather gets colder and he realizes that he'd offer anything to you– including his clothes.

-

missions in the rain were, in many cases, the absolute worst. unbearably muddy terrain caused the task force to reroute several times, delaying the overall pick-up time, and he was essentially losing his patience over the whole ordeal. he still had inventory to check, weapons to reload, and strategies to draft. too much on the agenda; too little time. a huff leaves his lips as he hankers down in a rather secluded spot. there aren’t too many recruits flocking around him in this area since they’re preoccupied with shielding away from the incessant rainstorm. many of them crowd around large trees to find cover under the broad leaves. some were huddling to retain warmth because the onslaught of rain meant that a frigid breeze accompanied it. but he settles in the outskirts and it's tolerable. he’s adapted to shouldering the storm and chilliness. though, he does admit that the downpour was intense and his drenched balaclava was a consequence of that. it was so damp and sodden that it clung uncomfortably to the contours of his face. his hand claws at the front of his mask to ease the irritating feeling.

ghost who overhears your quiet sniffling despite your efforts of muffling the noise. it’s so hushed that he barely recognizes it over the harsh thundering of rain but his ears perk at the typical sound. and sure, he distinctly recalls that this is probably your first experience with such severe weather since you were belatedly tossed into this group but it’s a run-of-the-mill incident. technically, it’s not his problem. the icy wind is numbing enough to discern that a person is bound to experience some of the symptoms that coexist with this type of extreme weather. it’s only natural– nothing to fret over. yet, his head turns in your direction before logic can kick in. 

ghost who stiffly asks, “you cold?” like his eyes don’t frantically scan your face for any signs of discomfort. he’d already deduced your current state; spotting the blueish tint creeping up on the edge of your lips and how your eyes appear hazy. he shoves himself into your proximity and at this angle his physique engulfs you. his gloved hand reaches to push the hood of his khaki poncho down so he can properly assess your condition and at this moment he’s unbothered by how sopping wet his mask is. or how intense the rain is. doesn’t care about it anyway– just intends on helping you.  with rain droplets pouring down your face, you look like a hollow version of yourself. vaguely perceives the nauseating tug in his chest when you manage a bleak smile and joke, “was unprepared for this since I didn’t know it’d be raining cats and dogs.” 

ghost who knowingly shakes his head at your banter but still indulges you by murmuring, “is that how the sayin’ goes?” because he fancies the way your lips curl into a lopsided grin. thunder rumbles in the distance and the cozy moment is partially interrupted. ghost notices that your shoulders tense at the occasional roar and you absentmindedly hum in response to his question. you have the best intentions but it’s too late because he’s uttering a curse as your teeth chatter from the blitz of a strong gust of wind that seeps through your layers of clothing. 

ghost who silently begins to shed off his poncho; his only layer of rain-resistant clothing. doesn’t mull over the consequences of catching a cold or worse– never even considers it. he’s prepared to sacrifice for you. “oh,” he hears your surprised gasp and sees how quickly your hands outstretch to ward off his offering, “you need it more than I do, lieutenant. thank you though.” and there’s that sheepish smile on your face again. the flicker of your eyes informs him that you’re embarrassed for needing extra support. for being human. and he’ll never quite understand how genuinely selfless you are. the trait is synonymous to you and a source of strength that is entirely yours to keep. to thrive off of. “s’just take it, pup,” his voice rumbles as profound as a pass of thunder, “you’re cold.” 

ghost who jabs, “don’t fancy carryin’ ya when you get fuckin’ hypothermia,” and then adds under his breath, “don’t want to risk it. ‘specially not with you.” the first half is a total lie and it’s obvious by how he shifts when he says it. he’d carry you to the ends of the earth. however, the second half of his comment is drowned out by the ample rainfall. and you never do hear those words that would’ve kept you warm for eternity but you’re given the next best circumstance when he crouches closer to you. the pouches of his tactical vest, housing grenades or ammunition, dig into your chest and it’s supposed to be uncomfortable if it wasn’t for the gentle way ghost drapes the large garment over your shoulders. 

ghost who takes it upon himself to secure the poncho’s hood over your head so it rests snugly under your chin. you’re still shivering, hot puffs of air escape your lips, but the function of the extra layer slowly warms you up. his gaze on you is burning, “you don’t ever have to pretend,” and then murmurs, “not with me. not ever.” the fabric does its job immediately and shields you from the onslaught of rain. that isn’t the issue he’s concerned about, however.

ghost who, when he pulls away, sucks in a shaky breath because the view that greets him will frequent his dreams. he’s certain of it. his touch accidentally dips down to the slope of your collarbones and he’s directly reminded that you’re wearing his poncho. his clothes. and it drapes over your body so alluringly. dips and presses into every curve of your body. possessiveness creeps up on him like a threatened animal, baring sharp canines and all. your prying eyes don’t aid in the situation either. raking up his exposed forearms, sifting and inquisitive about the tattoos that swirl in a manic pattern. a rare strip of his skin that graces your vision. 

ghost who awkwardly indicates how the fabric loosely hangs off your upper torso since it’s made for his broader physique, “looks ridiculous,” but he’s tugging the hood of the poncho over your eyes. can’t physically operate when he watches how your dewy lashes flutter when he allows his fingers to graze over your shoulders and pat down the cloth for wrinkles. his actions are meant to be mindless, calculative, and intended to take his mind off of you. yet, he can’t– and doesn’t wish to. desires to douse himself in the ethereal glow you embody. the wide, grateful glint in your gaze that brands him vulnerable and when you smile up at him he feels the clouds break. lets the sun warm his skin.

[willowser]

now i wake up by your side—

bakugou x f!reader

wc: 2.8k+

tags: u.a. college au, canon-compliant, reader has a telekinesis/telepathic quirk, references (and potential spoilers) for the current arc in the manga, angst, a lot of secret hidden feelies

tysm to @alrightberries for giving me the opportunity to bring this lil thought of yours to life 🥺 your patience and understanding during the time it took me to write this is so appreciated it, and tbh you're the reason i'm even still here right now LOL you're so sweet, and i hold your kindness so close to my heart. i wish i could convey how much it means to me. i hope i did this even a lil justice !! happy birthday dear !!!! 🥺🩷✨️

Sero dreams of watching the sunrise on top of the Roppongi Observatory.

It’s a beautiful sight, one you’ve never seen with your own eyes, but you soak in the warmth flushing across his cheeks and the anticipated break of morning through the clouds. When he takes in a hefty breath, you feel the spring chill sting inside his chest, crisp and clear, like it’s you breathing instead of him, and it’s almost comforting enough to lull you to sleep, too.

But a clay pot shattering against a nearby bench has your eyes springing open, ripped from the haven you’d been lost to. 

You have to blink several times in order to fight through the exhaustion wearing you thin, but the evening returns to you in small, bleary doses. It’s the middle of the night—or at least it was when you’d first wandered out to the training field, and you can’t be sure how many hours have passed since then. Across the yard, you’ve successfully managed to carry four pots from the garden plot near the entrance all the way to your feet with your Quirk— but number five sits in pieces in the grass.

You’ll have to clean that up by morning or Eraser will make you run laps until you puke. Again.

Kirishima flits through your mind in a suit and tie: not as a Hero, but a spy of some kind, chasing down men with masks covering their faces and wielding a gun that looks odd in his hands, even in his own dream. Despite being back in the dorms, stories up and near the end of the hall, you can see it—hear him yelling out at the criminal to stop, feel the thud of the ground under his feet. His own determination blares through you like a freight train, as strong and damning as he is, and you fight to force yourself back inside your own shoes as you try to carry another pot.

Recovery Girl used to tell you that you did this to yourself: all your worry about losing sleep psyching yourself out of it completely, chasing it away before it even had the chance. When everyone is getting ready for bed, heading out of the common room and hitting the showers, you can feel that suspense building; what will come across tonight while everyone dreams? Fantasies? Or nightmares?

During the day it’s easier to drown out the foot-traffic of everyone’s thoughts—you do it without trying, now—but your brain needs rest, too. Letting go of control for even a second, just to get some shut eye is—

Something frightening is outlined in your peripheral vision, the dash of a pale shape you aren’t able to discern before it’s gone. The air turns metallic and stale and you can hear water sloshing, though you’re nowhere near the pools. All your blood rushes in your ears and your fingers curl, like you’re gripping your seat—gripping the edge of the couch in the common room, where you’d been sitting beside Mina when Kaminari put on that horror movie. The one with the—

“The hell are you doin’?”

Your eyes snap open for the hundredth time that night—show over, credits rolling—and it’s Bakugou. Standing only feet away from the new set of clay shards of your failure, tangible and real and staring at you with an intensity not even your dreams could mimic.

You blink, eyes stinging and heavy. You must look insane. “Oh, hey,” the voice that comes out of you is far-away, chartered off to distant lands, and he notices immediately, focus razor-sharp despite how late it is. “What did you say?”

Bakugou wrinkles his nose, like he’s offended at having to repeat himself. “I said, what the hell are you doin’? It’s nearly 2 in the morning and you’re out here throwin’ shit around in your fuckin’ pajamas.”

Almost on cue, the breeze brushes past your legs, chilly enough to have you shivering, and you peek down at them as if you don’t know what they look like. The sweater you’re wearing is from second year and the U.A. logo is half-worn off, but it’s the comfiest thing you own and if you’re going to be plagued all night by the forced intimacy of your classmates’ dreams—you at least want to be cozy.

When you look back up at him, Bakugou is pointedly looking away, taking interest in something other than your wimpy state of dress. 

It dawns on you then that he’s out here, too, in sweats and a simple back sweatshirt, hair a messy, golden halo in the pale, buzzing field lights. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think his face was a little rosy, but—maybe you’re seeing things.

Still. Being out and away from everyone, alone with Bakugou, makes your stomach tighten horribly. Like you’ve done too many sit-ups.

You try to brush off your sudden bout of shyness, because you know he’ll clock that in no time, too. “Well, I could ask you the same thing.” At the raise of your eyebrows, he only tchs, and casts you a filthy look. “But I think maybe I’ll just mind my own business.”

The face he makes is so awful and hot-blooded that you laugh, truly and earnestly, enough that a headache pulses to life. You wince, and the stream of pain that shoots down the middle of your skull brings back that image of Kirishima’s action-thriller: blood and knives, the sound of skin on skin, a fist against cheekbones, the ugly snap of breaking—

“Oi.”

Bakugou is closer than before, when you’re grounded back inside yourself. At least no pots have been broken this time. Less to clean up.

“Sorry,” you shoot him an apologetic smile that you know he must hate. “It’s just so—” your hand feels like it’s made of lead, but you drag it up to massage slow circles into your temple, trying not to grit your teeth and worsen the pounding in your head. “So loud sometimes.”

He’s silent until the pain ebbs out, and when you can blink without flinching, you peek up to catch how intently he’s watching your face. In the night like this, his eyelashes seem darker, longer, a kind of haunting beauty you would dream about, if you could get some sleep.

Again, you think of Kaminari’s horror movie, legs pressed against Mina’s under the heavy comforter she’d brought down from her room. It’s warm, the kind of pink, fluffy thing you’d imagine a girl like her to have—but it didn’t stop you from shivering every time you chanced a glance at Bakugou and found him already staring back.

The heat in your cheeks spreads to the back of your neck, so immediate that you think you might start sweating. “Dreams and stuff,” you murmur, by way of an explanation, “nightmares, sometimes.”

Bakugou's frown deepens, the muscle in his jaw tightening once as he grits his teeth. “What, you can just…hear that shit all night?”

“Usually,” you shrug, “It just comes in, you know? And I—” you steal another glance at him, aware, then, of just how intrusive you might sound. The veil of privacy is thin between you and others, and they don't often like being reminded of that. “Not for you, though. I don't—I don't get anything from you.”

And it's true, frustratingly enough. Not that you are ever intentionally peeking into anyone's head, but things slip through, occasionally—sudden reactions, wild, loose trains of thought. 

Bakugou's face twists, regardless, and you're reminded of all the times you've been forced to spar together, at Eraser's behest. One of the smartest in your class, quick on his feet and never without a plan; every time you've managed to get a hand on Bakugou, there's been nothing but a sea-shore calm.

It's hard to do and, at this point in your life, you've seen a thousand people try it—but he's the only one that's ever succeeded in keeping you at bay.

Nothing in his expression changes, but all your nerves spread to your voice until it shakes. “You're—I don't look in there, of course, but it's—you've always been…” Bakugou is terrible at taking compliments, you know that, almost as bad as you are at giving them. “Pretty, I guess.”

Awful, at giving them.

Embarrassment floods him, suddenly stained pink as he curls into himself. “Piss off,” he barks, and though he’s scowling at you in what must be disgust—you can’t help but to smile at how aggressively bashful he is.

You almost get the guts to make matters worse, just because you can. Admit how handsome you’ve come to find him, after the last few years, until his face is steaming in the sweet nighttime chill; the kind of intimacy you wouldn’t mind dreaming about again and again.

The absence of his thoughts are a comfort for your tired mind, has all the harsh edges of night fading into something a little easier to swallow, to breathe in. You know he does it on purpose as a strictly defensive move, but you almost want to thank him. For the quiet.

You don’t know if it’s from you or him, but when you reach a hand up to hover near his temple, the air buzzes between you, gently. Charged with that same thing that had you unable to look away from him in the common room only days ago. “In here, I mean,” you murmur, and the smile you pull on feels lame, but it’s as genuine as ever. “I don’t know, I don’t know how you do it. But it’s…nice.”

You’ve seen him die a thousand times.

Mostly in Midoriya’s dreams, sometimes in Eraser’s when he nods off during last period, but that horror—like many others, from that day—stains you all. When dinner is put away and showers are finished and the lights go out and the flood gates open, someone almost always relives the ugliness of it all; you’re more familiar with that moment than you are with any of your own.

Here and now, you close your eyes and see Jirou staring back at you, face beautiful and full of hope. You see Kirishima’s torn suit jacket and the blood on his cheek and the empty gun in his hand, the most dedicated secret agent. Aoyama is dreaming of his mother, something warm that makes you feel like you’re dazzling, too.

And yet—Bakugou is silent. Even right in front of you. Even after everything.

If anyone deserves the peace and quiet, you suppose it ought to be him.

“When’s the last time you got any sleep?”

You blink until his blurry figure is clear, and it’s like you can physically feel whatever energy you had left seeping from your body at the mere mention of sleep. “Maybe a morning or two ago,” you tell him truthfully, “I usually pass out after a few rounds of ‘throwin’ shit around’.”

Bakugou only stares at you as he digests the words, and once he’s gotten them down, he shakes his head before looking out over the mess you’ve made of the training field. With his head turned like this, you can take in the full weight of his scar—the one that’s wide and still baby-pink across his cheek. 

You almost get the guts to tell him he’s handsome. Almost.

Frustration is evident on his face when he looks back at you, but his voice comes out softer than you expect, like he's struggling to get out any words at all. “Can’t keep doin’ this,” he chastises. “Can’t be a Hero if you’re half asleep all the time. Gotta figure this shit out.”

“I am,” you give a lazy wave to your pots, “What’s wrong with this solution?”

“It's ass.”

“Alright, you have any better ideas, pretty boy?”

He bristles, visibly enough to have you snickering, and—you’re not sure what you expect of him; to continue his griping or leave you to your own devices, building his walls up high as he always does. Ever the fighter, ever the protector; maybe it’s a good thing, you tell yourself, because you’re weak like this and one of you needs to be thinking straight.

Despite his flush, there’s a playfulness to his grouchy expression, his raspy tone—and it has you leaning too far into things you don’t know how to name.

You never know what to expect of him.

There’s the slightest brush of skin against the back of your hand, and when you drop your eyes to the slowly-dwindling space between you—the rough pads of his fingers are touching you, gently. Softly enough to be the breeze, if it weren’t so warm.

You’re afraid to look at him, suddenly, like it will break whatever spell the night is casting over both of you; instead you press your lips together to stop their wobbling and the smile fighting to give you away. You’re waiting for that sea-shore calm, that quiet comfort, whatever it is he’s trying to offer you, strangely enough, in this moment. When you turn your hand over to catch his, the air buzzes again and the blood rushes in your ears.

You focus and—all you can see is your own face staring back at you. In a flash, like he’s cycling through his cards in a hurry, trying to find the best one.

You, across the arena during the entrance exam. You, in the locker room before the Sport's Festival. You, sitting in the common room during Christmas. You, ruined with tears and your own blood and covered in grime, on the darkest day of your life.

You, now. On the field in the stale light, prettier than you think you must look, for being so exhausted, the lines of your smile deep as you grin up at him.

—And then there's nothing.

The absence of noise is louder than anything. A stark, white silence that cuts through; a different world trickling away. A single touch and a little focus is all it takes to take root inside someone’s head and that’s always felt like a weapon, but now it feels like coming inside from a snowstorm, relief shuddering down your spine. Everyone else's fears and nerves and heartaches dissolve until they’re only a bitter taste at the back of your throat. Something far, far behind you

There’s just Bakugou. A strong silence that feels impenetrable, invulnerable to the outside. The steady beat of his heart is comforting in a way you didn’t realize it would be, has that bloody, dead-eyed image of him shifting into something else: another moment in Midoriya’s memories, of his silhouette standing in the sun, tall and fierce and alive.

Returned. Here and now with you, after numerous, unforeseen turns of events. You wonder if the ease surrounding you is his own, something else he’s sharing—or if this is just how it feels to be with him after so long. Maybe in the past it was different—you know it was; during the entrance exam, during the Sport’s Festival—but now you feel more relaxed than you ever have. A reminder that, no matter how dark the nights get, the sun is only just beyond the horizon. 

Returned, comforting and quiet.

(You won't know this until much later, but your hand will go slack in Katsuki's and his fingers will tighten around your own because he's not ready to let go yet. When your knees buckle, he'll already be there, awkwardly holding you up against his shoulder as his face flames and his eyes dart around the empty field, checking for any shitty snoops.

Ears is always up damn late, too, and there's a decent chance he'd get caught trying to haul you back to your room on the third fuckin’ floor, so there's really no better option than to gently lower you both to the grass. After a couple of minutes with no movement, the field lights will shut off and only the distant glow of the stars will remain.)

(You won't know this until much later, but Katsuki will arrange the both of you so that your head isn't slumped on the hard ground, but resting on the plush of his bicep, an arm around your shoulders so that the warmth can be shared between you both. His heart will pound hard enough in his chest to be worrisome, and every time you shuffle and scoot closer to him and nudge your nose into his sweater—Katsuki will fight to stay open and true, only honest with you in this wordless way.)

(You won't know this until the sun rises high behind your lids and your bones ache and he’s shown you things he could never say, but it's the best sleep you think you've ever gotten. With him, under the stars, surrounded by his calm and his constant.)

(You won't remember this but in your dream—your real dream, born from with solace Katsuki offers you—the morning will rise and settle in and he'll walk you back to your room despite the stares and in the elevator when you're alone, his lips will touch yours and you'll feel his  heart in your chest and his nerves in your stomach and his fear and relief all in one.)

(And right away, when you wake up, you'll finally have a name for this thing that's been blooming between you both for as long as you can remember—and he will, too.)

[venerawrites]

Hiii

Can ask for shino and shikamaru (separate) (angst)

A story about them having a crush on reader but then they found out that someone likes them too??

Maybe they were about to go see reader until they saw them with another boy 😭👊👊👊

author's note: wow, I took a while with this request, but I was waiting to be in the right mood so I can write it! I changed the story a bit with Shino, I hope that's okay! I really hope you enjoy and thank you so much for requesting! <3

Shino

Being best friends with Kiba had ton of pros - you always had something fun to do, his mom made the best fried spinach rolls and you also had unlimited passes to cuddle Akamaru any time you want. It also gave you the chance to join him and his teammates' training, despite not being a ninja yourself.

Spending so much time observing them, you grew somewhat closer with Hinata and Shino too.

The girl was shy and timid at first, but once she got to know you, she started to relax and speak more. For your surprise, she was also quite quick witted, offering remarks and comments the second Kiba said or did something foolish. You didn't had a lot of common, but she had a vast knowledge in very different areas and could keep up a good conversation on almost any topic.

Shino, on the other hand, was more difficult to get to know. The first few times you showed up at their training, he just silently nodded his head as a greeting, before continuing his sparring. Even when it was time for his break, he choose to sit by himself in the opposite side of the field, rather next to you. After a few months, however, your patience paid off and he started to have small chats with you, usually cantered either around nature or insects.

Naturally, at first you thought that maybe he didn't like you. You've seen him talk with other shinobi on the streets of Konoha, and he sounded quite blunt with the rest of his team, so you didn't think he was shy or embarrassed. But when you finally shared your thoughts with Kiba, he just laughed, resting his arm around your shoulders:

"Don't worry, Y/N! He is like that with everyone - trust me, I know him like the back of my hand!"

Unbeknown to you, meters away, standing in one of the many alleys leading to the central road, was the devil himself. Shino's eyes remained focused on the hand around your shoulder, his lips instinctively pressing into a thin line.

Shino often questioned how did he got to his current position.

Being in a team with the Inuzuka, he knew who you are before he even met you - Kiba never missed a chance to say how beautiful and funny his best friend is, and how one day they are going to finally gain the courage to ask them out. At first, Shino didn't think much of it - his teammate was famous for getting a new crush every second week of the month.

But soon every second week turned into a whole month and then to six months, before it was finally a full year and Kiba got bold enough to bring you to one of their training practices.

Oh, how wrong it felt for Shino's breath to hitch in his throat, the moment he laid his eyes on you for the first time! Thankfully his stare was well hidden behind his dark glasses, because he was sure if the other boy noticed, he wouldn't hesitate to attack and that would surely affect his team's future dynamic.

Knowing he should not lust after his friend's interest, the man tried his best to stay away. He avoided talking with you, sitting near you or even looking at you for too long. The more he resisted this pull he felt toward you, however, the harder it got to control himself.

"What if I just give myself a little taste? Maybe once I get to know them, all these feelings would fade away", he thought to himself when he finally got brave enough to sit next to you.

Any hope he had that he would lose interest once he talk with you, quickly disappeared into thin air, once you looked at him with your big eyes, eagerly nodding for him to continue his explanation about dragonflies and the metamorphosis after their larval stage. He wasn't used to someone questioning him so much or show such keen interest in what he was talking about, so when you did, he couldn't help but realise he was in love.

Shino considered himself a good and loyal friend. But as he watched Kiba wasting his time with you, he started to feel selfish.

Why shouldn't he show you his interest? His teammate was obviously not going to do it, so it was technically not a stabbing in the back... right? It was your choice at the end of the day who do you want, but he had a right to compete for your heart too!

After months of thinking it over and over, Shino knew he had to tell you how he felt, even if the risk of you rejecting him was big. But as he watched Kiba sitting you down on one of the benches, his hand still around your shoulder, while the other one shyly pulled a flower from behind his back, he knew he was too late.

He had lost without even being given a chance.

Shaking his head, he threw the small box of your favourite chocolates bonbons in the nearby bin, before turning away and stuffing his hands in his pockets. The sound of your laughter ringed behind him and he had to stiffen his whole body, stopping it from taking a glance and breaking his heart even more.

Maybe one day things would be different - it would you be you and him on that bench, and he would pour his whole soul in front of you, promising you the world if you only give him the chance for him to give it to you.

Maybe one day he would be able to be with you, without feeling the rotten feeling of guilt and disgust with himself.

Maybe one day, but today was not that day.

Shikamaru

Clear days like these were rare - no clouds, no wind, not even the slightest movement in the air - just the unforgiving sun shining brightly at the Village Hidden in the Leaf. Time felt just like a concept when the hours kept dragging slowly after one another, each feeling like a whole eternity.

A loud yawn escaped Shikamaru's lips and his feet dragged through the dirt, making their way to the training grounds where he was sure you will be. While you didn't posses any special abilities or unique jutsu techniques, nature has gifted you with extremely sharp mind, wide imagination and skilful hands, which were able to build any type of weapon. When you were not away on a mission or hanging out with Shikamaru, you liked to spend your time resting the improvement to your latest gadgets.

The friendship that blossom between you two in your late teens was both surprising and unexpected. Back at the Academy you both shown quite hostile behaviour toward each other and while you were not exactly “enemies”, you couldn’t stand each others presence. The Nara boy did not like how loud, unpredictive and spontaneous you are, seeing your carefree attitude as both annoying and dangerous, especially during missions.

On the other hand, you were also not a fan of him. While you acknowledged his intelligence and gift for coming up with quite interesting strategies, his laziness, sarcasm and constantly bored expression were something you would never want in a fellow comrade.

Yet, a few years later you were almost inseparable. His knowledge combined with your handiness made you a powerful duo and you were often combined in missions together, especially when it came to tracking and ambushing rogue ninjas. What started as strictly shinobi work soon turned into daily hangouts. You learned from each other and often spend whole nights talking and brainstorming how to better your teamwork.

But respect and friendship were not the only thing growing between you two. Shikamaru didn't know when or how exactly it happened, but one morning he woke up next to you on the sofa, after both of you fell asleep playing shogi, and he looked at you, suddenly realising what the funny feeling inside of his chest was. He reached out to you that day, gently removing the hair out of your peacefully sleeping face and wishing that one day he will wake up next to you as your lover, not just the friend you accidentally fell asleep next to.

Months passed since that time and he never said even a word about his feelings. Every day you met at the exact same spot and exact same time, spending your whole days together, just like you were before. You continued acting the same way, enthusiastically talking about your latest inventions, completely unaware of your friend's longing looks and blushing cheeks. Or maybe you were aware, but you were nice enough not to say anything about it.

Shikamaru rarely felt fear, but for weeks now this was the main emotion squeezing his heart. What if you didn't return his affection? What if you wanted to just be friends? What if you realised his feelings and decided to take a step back, thus making him lose you forever?

All these questions were actively torturing his brain every waking minute, but as he stood near the entrance of the training grounds, watching you laughing, head buried in Naruto's chest, he couldn't help but squeeze his hands into fists.

What was this dobe doing? And since when you were SO close?

Feeling someone's glare burning the back of your head, you lifted your head from the blonde's jacket, before turning around. Spotting your best friend near the gates of the grounds, you ignored his narrowed eyes and annoyed frown, instead waving your hand high in the air.

"Shika!", you smiled brightly, pulling away completely from Naruto's embrace, "You are late today!"

The black haired male only hummed in response, slowly walking over to you, his eyes dancing between you and his other friend. While your demeanour seemed normal, the Uzumaki's face was all red and he kept glancing at you every few seconds, his teeth deep into his bottom lip.

"Am I interrupting something?", the words came out heavy with sarcasm and your brows immediately furrowed. Shikamaru hasn't used this tone since your academy days, when he took any chance to show his dislike toward you.

Naruto finally acknowledged the other male, one of his hands making his way toward the back of his neck, where he nervously scratched the skin. He grinned at the Nara, stepping over to him and extending his arm for a handshake.

"H-Hey, Shikamaru! Didn't expect to see you here, heh...", his hand shamefully retracted, once the other boy did not take it, instead glancing at it with disgust. You watched the weird interaction, while pulling your weapons in your bag, confused at why both of them were acting so strange in each other's presence. They were not the best of friends, but they were still pretty close and it was unusual of them to be that nervous around each other.

"I was just asking Y/N if they want to come and grab some ramen with me-"

"They are busy", Shikamaru impatiently interrupted, briefly moving his eyes to you, "We have plans already."

The blonde man let out a small "oh!" and he looked over to you with a confused expression. Having all your weapons neatly packed in your bag, you stood next to both of them with crossed arms, you face twisted in annoyance.

"Actually...", you moved over to Naruto, taking his hand in yours and giving him a small smile, "I am so starving, I would love to have some ramen now! If you go and wait for me near the gates, I will be there just in a minute."

The man smiled at you, nodding his head at your words, before reaching toward your shoulder and taking the heavy bag from you. He passed Shikamaru, nodding his head as a goodbye, but the dark-haired male was too busy glaring at you in order to give any type of response.

Once Uzumaki was at a safe distance from you, you turned your attention back to your friend, almost hissing at him:

"What the hell is your problem?"

He scoffed at your words, one of his brows arching high up.

"Naruto?", his name feel out together with a mocking laugh from his lips, "Really? You are ditching me for Naruto?"

You rolled your eyes, both annoyed and baffled by his bizarre behaviour.

"I'm not ditching you!", you defended yourself, before crossing your arms once again, "I am absolutely starving and technically, laying in the middle of a field and sleeping is hardly counted as "plans". Naruto was nice enough to ask me to join him-"

"That dobe likes you! His face looked like he was about to explode when he was next to you!", Shikamaru didn't even wait for you to finish your sentence, before huffing at you. He took a step closer, his jaw clenching, "I though you are better than entertaining stuff like these from... people like him."

The way he said these words, filled with so much venom and dislike... You didn't know who the man before you was, but he was definitely not your best friend.

"Dobe? People like him?", you repeated, taking a step back, "Okay, calm down Sasuke 2.0! Don't get your panties in a twist and go rogue or something, because you can't handle the idea of me hanging out with people other than you!"

Before he can reply, you stepped around him, making your way toward Naruto, who was patiently waiting for you near the gates of the training grounds. After a few steps, you looked back, your eyes full with dissapointment:

"I really thought time has changed you... If you decide to stop being a d*ckhead, you know where to find me! Goodbye, Shikamaru!"

The young Nara stood there in the middle of the grassy field watching your figure become smaller and he loudly gulped, when he saw the blonde taking your hand in his. He knew he acted irrationally, based on his jealousy and anger, and know as there was nothing but silence around him, he realised that maybe he did already lost you forever.

cc artwork: Clement Tingry

[pinkgy]

i saw your whb mammon thigh riding post and it was so good, can i request thigh riding with whb beelzebub? maybe while he whispers (passive aggressive) praises into your ear, encouraging you to keep going

Hi! I'm glad you liked that post and tysm for your request.

I'm sorry for taking so long :( This post had me blocked for a little while, but here it is! Hope you like it ♡

This time I tried a new way to write the requests, it's like mixing headcanons and a one-shot, but in one post, I'm a little weak at writing one-shots but I'll try my best to improve. !

𝗪𝗛𝗕

𝗕𝗘𝗘𝗟𝗭𝗘𝗕𝗨𝗕

𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛 𝗥𝗜𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚

♡

GN! Reader + No mentions of Gender-Specific Anatomy.

𝗖𝗪: Thigh Riding, Degradation (Slut), Praising, Pet Names (Pretty), Teasing, Dirty Talk but it's not that strong, nipple play, hickeys, Beelzebub is kind of a bitch, but just a little bit.

↬ This bitch, of course, was the one that came up with this idea. But if you happened to suggest riding his thigh, he would be delighted, even tho Beelzebub is a big tease, getting teased is lots of fun for him too.

↬ As we've seen before, Bell has some great thighs, and they seem to be very muscular too. He's probably the kind of person that flexes the muscles of his thighs so you can feel more friction.

↬ Still, Beelzebub is not a patient devil, if you don't keep him entertained he might lose his composture and fuck you right away.

❝❞

It's not easy to keep up with Beelzebub and you know it, that's why you thought it was a great idea to suggest that you try something new.

"Ride my thigh?" Beelzebub licked his upper lip "Are you sure about that?" he took a step closer to you and put his slender hand on your waist "If you are so eager to do such a thing, I think I can expect you to do a good job" He puts his mouth on your ear and licks the lobe playfully "Will you do that for me pretty?"

❝❞

↬ Beelzebub might suggest that you ride his thigh fully naked, again, he's not patient at all, he needs to make use of his mouth and hands while you're using him for your pleasure.

↬ He won't shut up his mouth, Beelzebub is an amazing dirty talker and he makes sure you know it, and if you dared to tell him to be quiet, he would be even worse.

↬ Beelzebub also has little to no patience when it comes to you being a brat or whiny, but he finds that attitude so amusing that he messes up with you for a while until he feels like it's enough.

↬ He would love it if you rubbed his clothed (or not) dick with your knee while you're riding him, in general, he would love for you to pleasure him too while using him for your own pleasure.

❝❞

"I never thought that you would get tired so fast" Beelzebub had his hands on your hips, he was doing everything on his will to not lift you from his thigh and bury his dick in your hole, but your current state was such a fascinating sight to him that he simply preferred to restrain himself "You can do better" he lowered his head a bit and took your hard nipple in is mouth sucking it hard.

"It's too overwhelming" you whimpered, bell couldn't be more delighted, this is exactly how he wanted you to be "Help me please" As a way to convince him you took his clothed dick in your trembling hand.

He groaned "Keep going pretty, I'm being nice right now, but I can get a lot meaner" Beelzebub let go of your nipple and slowly approached your ear and whispered, "You don't want that, right ?"

You moved your hips harder against his thigh, and you were desperate to finally reach your high, Beelzebub's teasing actions were not enough, you needed more, but you knew that if you dared to insist further he would make you regret it.

"That's it, such a good slut aren't you ?" He left bite marks all over your chest and his mouth was making a hickey trail to your right ear "Don't you dare to stop" he whispered, marking every word with a kiss behind your ear.

❝❞

↬ As much as he encourages you to do everything by yourself, he may catch you off guard, and just when you are about to reach your limit, he will start to help you, but in the meanest way possible.

↬ One of them is taking your hips and pushing your hips against his thigh, hard, making your sensitive area throb.

↬ He would kiss you through your orgasm while he massages your ass cheeks leaving a few small spanks.

"You did great pretty, you're such a good slut for me"

⸻

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 55

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 7k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Wednesday, February 17; 9:15 AM - Ski Resort

I still find it hard to believe what we're about to do today. The days are passing, and we're already halfway through our trip. Me, a sun-loving girl who's only ever been to beaches, is now discovering a ski resort for the first time. Ever since I heard the news, I've had a lump in my throat. I just can't wrap my head around it.

“Do you think I’ll be able to do it?” Mapi asks me, standing by my side.

I take a deep breath. Thankfully, in the worst scenarios, my best friend is always there to face things with me.

"It’s up to you to feel it. Are you still in a lot of pain?” I ask, referring to her leg.

“It depends on the day... I hope it’ll be okay.”

“Have you talked to Ingrid about it?”

“Yeah, we had a chance to talk. She knows I don’t like to bring it up, but she knows what happened.”

“Then you don’t need to worry. I’m sure she’ll be careful.”

“You think so?”

“Of course,” I say with a smile. “From what I’ve seen these past few days, she seems attentive to you. I have no doubt she’ll know when to stop you if you push too hard.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

We laugh, fully aware that this is exactly what will happen. Mapi loves challenges, and once she’s conquered them, she tends to not want to stop. I understand her fear, though. Skiing puts a lot of strain on your legs. She’ll likely feel pain at some point, even with the effective treatment she’s been on for years. Skiing... Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. I’m not at all comfortable with this idea, especially after our last two nights. The waitress Aitana flirted with invited us to some private parties. The first one was quite wild for some, and we got back late. We didn’t want to do much the next day. Most of us stayed at the hotel to relax, while the two other couples and I preferred to head back into town. We went out again last night, but it was much more low-key. The girls didn’t want to waste another day doing nothing. They had used their day at the hotel to look into things to do. The ski resort was their top recommendation. When they suggested it to us, I was the only one not very enthusiastic. I tend to enjoy walking in the snow in different ways, but I realize that’s not everyone’s preference. The girls were starting to lose patience and really wanted to do something more dynamic. This activity was definitely a lot more energetic than the previous ones. The weather was on our side, with the snow having stopped today, so it was the perfect time to plan sledding and skiing. The last time I was in a place like this, I must have been six years old. My mom wasn’t a fan of mountain vacations, being someone who had always lived in the sun. We went once thanks to my dad, who granted my wish. Those were the most memorable holidays for me because it was the first time I ever went sledding. However, I never skied, and the same goes for Mapi, who, unlike me, is seeing snow for the first time after her first visit to Manchester. We were supposed to go sledding this morning, but because of our little handicap, our girlfriends, who are currently ahead of us, decided to change the plan for the four of us. Since Mapi hadn’t changed her behavior, I thought it was a good opportunity for just the two of us. I needed to talk to her. I could sense something was bothering her, and I didn’t like it. I tried sending Alexia in my place, but she couldn’t get much out of her. Either Mapi didn’t understand her intention, or I was really imagining things, which I doubt.

“So, can I ask you a question?” she starts again. “But you won’t take it the wrong way, right?”

“Why would I take it the wrong way?”

“It’s about Lucy.”

The mention catches me off guard. Is she trying to talk about it? The timing couldn’t be better. At least we can clear the air before today’s activities because we both know there’s some tension.

“I’m listening.”

“Promise me you won’t take it the wrong way?” she insists.

“Mapi, we’ve always told each other everything up until now. Why would you be afraid of my reaction?”

She sighs, letting her shoulders relax. Her behavior towards me over the past two days remains a mystery. The way she kept pulling me away from Lucy left me puzzled and annoyed. I started wondering if she had a problem with her, and now I’m starting to believe it more and more. I hope it’s nothing serious. I don’t particularly want them to stop talking, or worse, have to choose between the two.

“So why didn’t you come talk to me yourself? You sent Alexia, didn’t you? I’m not that clueless.”

I bite my lip, caught off guard. Alexia had warned me that it would be better if I went myself, but I didn’t listen. Now, I’m already regretting that bad decision.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, you’re right.”

“So, you really sent her?”

“I could tell you were on edge. I was afraid it would get worse if I came first.”

We look at each other for a moment, then laugh together. We both feel a bit silly, I think. There’s good reason for it. We’ve never been afraid to tell each other things. That’s what I’ve always loved about Mapi. Even if we knew it wouldn’t please the other, we’ve always been honest.

“Sorry, I was really nervous about bringing it up.”

“You didn’t need to be,” I sigh. “So... it’s about Lucy, right?”

“Yeah, um...” she starts, suddenly feeling awkward. “I don’t really know how to say this. First, does she still hold a grudge against me?”

“What?” I frown. “No! Why would she have something against you?”

I look at my girlfriend who’s ahead of us with Ingrid. We’ve slowed down our walk since we started talking, creating a bigger gap than before. They’re both in an animated conversation, laughing from time to time. I think about all the ways Lucy could have made her think that, but nothing comes to mind. She did give her a bit of a hard look the day she pulled me away from her during the walk, but that passed quickly when she found it amusing that I was angrier than she was. Anyway, since we’ve been together, it’s different. She no longer sees Mapi as a threat, but simply as someone very important to me.

“Well, I don’t know... I felt like she was giving me dirty looks last time. Sorry, I might be imagining things.”

“Lucy has no problem with you, I assure you. She really likes you and knows what you mean to me. If it were otherwise, she would have told me, and I would have fixed things.”

“Okay...” she murmurs. “You love her, don’t you? I’ve never seen you so attached to someone like her.”

I breathe softly. Oh yes, I love her, and I spend all my time glued to her. I was never that person before, but she made me this way. In none of my previous relationships did I seek physical contact as I do now.

“Does it bother you?”

She looks at me for a moment. I can see the internal struggle she’s having. She doesn’t know how to respond, and it’s all the more unsettling. I give her a friendly nudge.

“Come on, spill it. We’re talking about it for a reason, after all.”

“I was very surprised,” she begins. “I think your Valentine’s Day made me jealous. Not romantically. Ingrid is wonderful to me, and I appreciate her more and more each day,” she quickly justifies. “But in terms of us, our relationship, our friendship...”

Now that she says it, it’s true that after I shared everything we did, her behavior changed. I frown at this realization. Without saying anything, she continues.

“I never knew how to give you the same things she does. Just look at the day you spent together. It’s obvious she thought of you first in her plans. I’ve never been able to do that for you. Not even for a day.”

“Mapi—”

“I know our relationship is different from yours. It was powerful in another way, and it was during another period. We were younger and a bit more carefree. But what she’s done with you in just a few months is just... impressive. She’s transformed you, and I feel lousy for not being able to give you the same support and help you grow like she has.”

Regret, remorse. That’s all I hear in her words, and now it’s my turn to feel bad. How did she get to the point of feeling so worthless? She doesn’t even realize how much she’s helped me. Her return after Feli sparked a lot of progress that she doesn’t seem to have noticed. I release my lip from between my teeth and reply without thinking.

“You have nothing to blame yourself for. You’re the one who gave me the most support before I joined this school. You did the hardest part by getting me out of my room.”

I smile just remembering it. She had to drag me, but she did it, and she stayed with me the whole time. It was her, and no one else, who accomplished that feat.

"I have to admit, being away from my problems was the best idea my mom ever had. You’ve never set foot in my school, but we all have our problems, often similar, sometimes completely different."

Korbin's situation comes to mind. She just never had the chance to grow up in a stable environment, which led to her circumstances. Just thinking about it makes me sick.

"I'm not saying you can't understand, but they teach us to open up, to trust each other. Like with Alexia, you know? We’ve confided in each other about our issues. Plus, we're also guided. Especially by Lucy, in my case, but not just her. It’s a collective thing, you see? It's not just Lucy who helped me evolve, as you said."

"And in all this, what happens to me?"

"What do you mean, what happens to you?" I teased. "You’re still my best friend, no matter what. Nothing will change that. Neither new friendships nor our new relationships. We’re still us."

"Good, I’m relieved," she said, clearly feeling better. "Because I’ve applied for a transfer for next year."

"Really?" I said, excited.

She had mentioned wanting to follow me, but hadn’t said what she was planning. Knowing she’ll be here next year makes me really happy. Even though the school keeps me busy, I miss her a lot.

"Of course! You’re not getting rid of me that easily," she giggled. "My teacher said there shouldn’t be any problem. The school in Manchester has a better reputation, but with my good grades, I should get accepted. He even said it would be better for me."

"That’s awesome!"

I hugged her tightly. She doesn’t have an official response yet, but I’m confident it will work out. Mapi is a very diligent student, even if it doesn’t always seem that way. After all, she’s doing what she loves.

"I’m really happy, honestly."

"Can I confess something else while we’re at it?" she asked, pulling away from my embrace. "But you won’t take it the wrong way, right?"

"What now?" I asked, holding back a small laugh.

"I used to wonder if Lucy would be enough for you," she admitted, making me frown. "That was before you were together. I thought she was too calm and too sensible. Not to mention she didn’t seem to enjoy parties. You just have to see how she reacted to last night’s party agai—"

"She wasn’t feeling well yesterday," I defended her immediately. "She had a migraine, and the party wasn’t the best for her, but she still wanted to come."

"Whatever," she said, waving her hand as if it didn’t matter. "That’s not the point, it was just an example. I thought she’d be boring for you in the long run. I talked about it with Ingrid before you were together, and she got mad, saying I didn’t know Lucy. And I have to admit, she was right."

Her last sentence brought me instant relief. I was already worried she might say she no longer saw me with Lucy, which would have been strange since she’s the one who kind of pushed us together.

"So, you’ve changed your mind?" I asked hesitantly, making her shrug.

"I have to admit she knows how to handle you," she replied with a small smile that made me laugh. "That’s all that matters, and if you’re happy with her, that’s what’s important."

"I am. She’s really sweet and adorable. I didn’t expect that either."

"Oh, really?" she said, surprised.

"Well, yeah… She’s always been caring towards me, but I found her so closed off before that I didn’t know what to expect if she ever opened up."

"I see… So how is it?"

"It’s really great. She’s confided in me little by little, but now, she’s so open that I can see her expressions, you know? That wasn’t the case before."

"Hmm, hmm," she smiled. "Are you sure it’s not you who finally opened your eyes to how she feels?"

"Of course not," I replied, gently hitting her arm, making her laugh.

"I’m telling you, Ona. She was already smitten the first time I saw her interact with you. I even told Lucy. You were just too oblivious to notice."

I blushed just thinking about it. We really were blind, according to our friends.

"Maybe you’re right… We’re together now," I said pensively. "You know, I wanted to use this vacation to get closer to her. I was really scared of my reactions when starting a new relationship," I confessed to her.

"You haven’t slept together yet, have you?"

"No," I grimaced. "Do you think Lucy will be patient with that? I’m worried."

"Yeah, don’t worry. Knowing her, she has the patience of a saint. If she needs it, I bet she’ll let you know."

"If you say so… Anyway, don’t scare me like that again. I really need your positive opinion, and you know that, right?"

"I know, yeah," she smiled. "And you have it. She even managed to make me jealous, and that’s saying something."

I chuckled, shaking my head. At least she’s not afraid to admit it. Others would have denied it. Not her, and I love that about her.

"And you, with Ingrid?" I changed the subject.

"She’s great, really," she answered instantly, clearly expecting the question. "Much better than Ana. She’s cool, we laugh a lot, and she’s laid back. Oh, and also, in bed, she’s pretty good."

"Oh, Maps, please, spare me the details."

"What? You don’t want to know?"

"No, thanks," I grimaced.

"Are you sure?"

She laughed, fully aware that this is one of the few topics we can’t discuss. I’m not prudish, but I’d rather not know what my ex does with her new girlfriends. Talking about it makes me feel like we’re back in the past, and I’d rather avoid that. After this little laugh, we both sighed softly. We really needed this conversation to clear the air.

"Looks like our wild nights are over now."

"Seems like it, yeah," I chuckled.

"I think I’m a bit scared of this new change, you know, becoming an adult, having responsibilities. Ingrid even says I often act like a child," she laughed, making me smile.

I put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me. She rested her head on my shoulder, accepting my embrace.

"We’ll do it together, don’t worry. Never one without the other."

She nodded and kissed my cheek afterward, making me smile. All she needed was reassurance. I regret letting things get to the point where she felt neglected and unheard. I’ll have to figure out how to balance things better in the future. I’ve already hurt her enough in the past, I don’t need to add anything else.

"I guess I owe Lucy an apology now."

"Oh, it’s not necessary."

"It is. Knowing you, you’ll tell her everything, so I might as well do it myself," she replied.

I laughed because she’s so right. I can’t hide anything from Lucy. Especially since she’s been glancing over at us, and I imagine she’ll have questions for me.

"And I’ll have to thank her too," Mapi said, drawing my attention back to her.

"For what?"

"Thanks to you two, I met Ingrid," she answered with a small smile. "We exchanged numbers to talk about you mainly, but we hit it off so well that we got closer. So, thank you too."

"It’s my pleasure if we helped you. Your happiness is important to me, you know that. Now that everything’s clear, how about a hug?"

"Damn right, I’ve been waiting for that."

I laughed as I barely had time to catch her in my arms for a tight embrace. I missed her touch. Mapi will always be the first person who helped me out of that dark place. She’s indispensable to me, and she should know that. I closed my eyes, savoring this moment that I had missed. It’s different from being with Lucy, but just as familiar.

"Come on, we should catch up with them before they start wondering where we are."

Now that she mentioned it, I realized we couldn’t see our girlfriends anymore. Instead, a small wooden cabin stood before us. I easily guessed it was the chalet where we were supposed to pick up our gear, thanks to the sign. I nodded and let her go in first. Our girlfriends were in line, so we joined them.

- "Well, what took you so long, girls?" Ingrid asked as we approached.

- "Sorry, we were just talking," Mapi explained as she pulled away from me to enjoy a hug from her girlfriend.

I nestled into Lucy's embrace, just as Mapi did with Ingrid. Lucy's expression was full of curiosity after I stole a kiss. I snuggled into her neck and whispered:

- "I'll explain later."

My answer seemed to satisfy her because she hugged me tightly and kissed my temple. I smiled as I watched the other couple interact. It was clear who was in charge between them, and it was a bit surprising. Normally, Mapi was the one who took control, but not in Ingrid's arms, it seemed. Given Ingrid's playful nature, I hadn’t expected her to take on that role.

- "When will you tell me?"

I turned my attention back to Lucy. It was only then that I noticed her impatience, which made me smile.

- "Be patient. You'll know everything tonight, I promise."

- "Hmm... Okay," she said, pouting adorably, which made me smile.

It was funny how eager she was to know. Since I’d become better at reading her expressions, I’d discovered many traits I hadn’t known about before. Curiosity was one of them. I admired her so much for being able to hide it and not bombard me with questions. That's probably what I would have done in her place, but she knew that would have made me run. I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. With these thoughts in mind, I stood on my tiptoes to kiss her again, hoping it would satisfy her for now. I could tell she was frustrated about not knowing our conversation, but I didn’t want to discuss it in front of the girls. It seemed my idea worked because she returned my kiss with a hidden smile.

- "It’s our turn," Ingrid pointed out.

We noticed she was right as we turned to the counter.

- "Can you help me pick out my equipment?" I asked Lucy. "I don’t really know what I’m doing."

- "Of course."

We walked forward with her hand resting on my waist. The receptionist handed us our gear based on Lucy’s instructions. I didn’t know anything about this, so I trusted her judgment.

- "Can’t we snowboard instead of skiing?" I asked when I saw a snowboard nearby.

- "Learn to ski first, will you?" she chuckled. "Snowboarding is much harder."

- "Really? But it’s just one board under your feet."

- "Exactly," she laughed. "It’s much harder to balance and stay on your feet. We’ll try it someday when you’ve mastered skiing."

- "So that means we’ll come back?"

- "We’ll go wherever you want, whenever you want, and as many times as you want, sweetheart."

I bit my lip at how affectionate she was becoming day by day. She had never been this sweet with me before. The tough, relentless Lucy was long gone, and I couldn’t even say which version I preferred now. I felt more and more important in her eyes, and that’s all I ever wanted.

- "Come on, let’s get going," she pulled me out of my daydream.

We thanked the man for his service, and the four of us headed outside with our equipment. We found a bench where we could sit and put on our skis. Aside from my grumbling, it was a pretty quiet moment. Lucy had a teasing smile as she watched me struggle. I had just managed to put on the boots she had chosen for me. I was surprised that she had picked the right size without even asking.

- "You could help instead of just laughing at me."

- "Of course," she said, her smile widening. "Since you asked so nicely."

- "Hey!" I protested, pouting.

- "I’m kidding."

As if she’d been doing this her whole life, she effortlessly got up and crouched down in front of me. She started by tightening the straps on my boots, which apparently weren’t tight enough for her. Then she placed the skis flat on the ground, and I finally understood the system when she positioned the tip of my foot in front of the clips. She then asked me to press down with my heel, and I heard my boot click into the ski. I did the same with the other one. At first, the sensation of having something under my feet was very strange, especially when I tried to slide them back and forth. The real fun was about to start. We exchanged a smile, as if she was thinking the same thing as I was when she stood up. She pecked my lips and held out her hands.

- "Come on, princess. It’s time to stand up."

- "Oh my God," I murmured as I wobbled the moment she pulled me to my feet.

The feeling was very weird. I probably would have slipped if Lucy hadn’t been holding me in her strong arms. She chuckled, gently pulling me closer. I regretted having such a bulky jacket on because I couldn’t feel her touch on my skin.

- "Okay... So what now?"

- "I’m going to let go and grab your poles."

- "And if I fall?"

- "You won’t fall," she laughed.

To make sure of it, she kept one arm around my waist as she moved to grab our poles. Once she had them, she let go of me and stood beside me. I glanced over at the girls who were watching us.

- "Okay," I said, taking a deep breath. "And now?"

- "Now we move forward."

I blinked as I saw Mapi following Ingrid. It was like she had been doing this forever. I parted my lips and looked at Lucy, who was laughing at me.

- "H-how did she do that?"

Lucy burst into laughter, which annoyed me. I had a feeling I’d be the last one today, and I hated that.

- "It’s not hard. It’s like walking. Just take small steps. It’ll help you get used to the skis and work on your balance. Then we’ll start sliding."

- "I’m suddenly not feeling so confident..."

- "Hey, it’ll be okay, alright? There will be falls and probably a lot of bruises tonight, but you’ll be fine. I’ll help you, and I won’t let you leave until you’ve made at least one descent."

- "Oh my God..." I muttered. "And what if I’m sore tonight?"

- "I have a little solution for that... But it’ll be up to you to decide when the time comes."

- "When you say things like that, it’s usually something I won’t like..."

- "Who knows... You’ll tell me tonight."

Wednesday, February 17th, 8:30 PM - Hotel Room.

All day, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Lucy’s suggestion would be. I turned it over in my mind a thousand times, hoping that in the end, it would be the jacuzzi we’d go to. As I had predicted, all my muscles were sore from this simultaneously disastrous and rewarding day. If I learned anything today, it’s that I’m a walking disaster. Though that’s not new, I was really bad at skiing. Once again, Lucy showed incredible patience with me. Unlike me, Mapi picked it up quickly. She’s always been more athletic and daring than me, so it wasn’t surprising. Lucy didn’t mind that we stayed at the bottom of the slope all day, while the girls and the rest of our friends who joined us after lunch went up to do runs. I think Lucy was happy we could spend some time together, uninterrupted for once. When we got back, I expected her to announce her idea right away, but she wanted us to have dinner with our friends first. It made me feel confused and reluctant, knowing that the pool had a closing time and would probably be closed by the time we were done. I was slightly disappointed since I had been dreaming about it all day, but now that I’m facing her real proposal, I don’t know how to react. I agreed, of course, but that didn’t make me any less nervous.

- "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I’d understand if you didn’t, you know. We’ve only been together for two weeks, and then-"

- "Luce, I told you I wanted to do it. Are you sure you haven’t changed your mind?" I half-joked.

The panic in her eyes disappeared for a moment, replaced by tenderness.

- "I haven’t. It’s just that I don’t want you to be scared or think I’m rushing things."

"We’re in swimsuits. What am I supposed to be scared of? We’ve already been in the pool, in a jacuzzi, and even in a spa. It’s not a bubble bath we’re going to take in swimsuits that’s going to scare me. »

- It's smaller, more intimate, and... private.

- That's what makes it even more romantic, right? I want us to spend some time together, just the two of us. For once, we actually have the time.

She giggles as she turns off the water that had been running until now when he gets halfway to the bathtub. To be honest, I'm in total panic inside. I can't even explain why. Lucy is everything you could want in a girlfriend. She didn't run away when I told her that I had isolated myself from the world for half a year. On the contrary, she wanted to prove to me that I'm no longer alone. Maybe it's because I know that this situation will bring us to an even deeper stage in our relationship. I push the thought away and speak.

- You getting in first? I murmur.

She nods softly, stepping one foot at a time into the tub. My eyes don't leave her for a second as she sits at the back of the tub. I hesitate for a moment, but her reassuring smile tells me I have nothing to fear. She's the only person I've never been afraid of, at least not in the context of a relationship. Of course, I fear her when she's in a black rage, especially at me, but never otherwise. I return her smile and join her. Instead of leaning my back against hers, I decide to snuggle up against her side. My tension quickly evaporates as my sore muscles relax and Lucy runs a hand through my hair, wrapping her other arm around me. The water is boiling hot, but there's nothing better after this cold day. She kisses my forehead with a satisfied sigh.

- Here we are, in this bath.

I giggle, burying my head in her neck. She had been dreaming about this, and now I finally understand why.

- Have you been dreaming of this moment all day too?

- You could say that... Did you know I wanted to do this?

- No, not the bath, I admit. But now that we're here, it was a very good idea.

And I mean it. The steam rising from the bath creates a strange atmosphere in the room. From where I'm sitting, I can see the mirror, which fogged up in no time. When I look down at the bath, I'm glad to see that the bubbles cover my bruised body.

- Do you know why Mapi's been acting weird lately? I start the conversation with a hint of amusement in my voice.

I break the silence now that we're alone, in the calm. Lucy hums slightly at my question.

- So there was a reason?

- In a way, yes...

I lift my head to meet her eyes with furrowed brows. I smile, finding her adorable like this. She always makes that face when something bothers her or when she doesn't understand what's going on.

- Hmm... So... What was the reason?

- Lots of things... Jealousy, worry, doubts...

- In what way? she asks, skeptical. She thinks I wouldn't take good care of you?

- No, that's not it.

I smile in amusement, detecting impatience in her movements. She knows Mapi's opinion matters to me. Just to tease her a little longer, I reluctantly get up to straddle her. She removes her hands from me, placing them on the edge of the tub while watching me with confusion. I lose track of our conversation, mesmerized by the beauty in front of me. The setting really enhances Lucy. My fingers trace her exposed neck. She had pulled her hair into a messy bun right after our meal. She wanted to be comfortable. I appreciate seeing her so natural. I might not be the first to see her like this, but at least I'm the first among the students at Camp Wiegman. So, she's no longer the terrifying instructor everyone fears. She's just my girlfriend, who grants me the privilege of seeing her true self. Our evenings alone are my favorite moments so far, even though I've also enjoyed the parties. She seems almost innocent and harmless, which is far from the case at school. I almost dread the moment we have to go back. I don't know how she'll react, nor how I'll react. We'll resume our roles, and I won't be able to enjoy her company in her room as I'll have to return to mine. 

- What are you thinking about, looking at me so sadly?

My eyes, which were focused on her mouth where my fingers are now, rise to meet hers. Her excitement has faded into concern. I feel guilty for making her worry, just because my thoughts, which were positive before getting in the bath, suddenly veered to a darker side. It was stronger than me. The idea that we might not be able to live this normally anymore doesn't sit well with me. Especially not after the amazing week we've been having.

- Did I do something wrong? she asks, making me shake my head. Did Mapi say something she shouldn't have? she continues.

I shake my head again. Words fail me, preventing me from defending against things she might believe because of my silence. Unable to find the words, I lean in to kiss her. Hard. Though slightly hesitant, she kisses me back, her hands gently caressing my waist. I seek even more contact, but she stops me.

- Hey, hey, stop. I get that this environment can give ideas, but that's not the point of this evening.

Her words cool my ardor, and I blush, realizing what I've just done. How could I have gone so far with just one fleeting thought?

- S-sorry... I-I didn't mean to. I-I don't know what came over me.

- It's okay, really, she giggles. What were you thinking about to get carried away like that, hmm? You were looking at me with adoration before suddenly closing off.

- I'm afraid of not handling our return to school well.

Lucy arches an eyebrow in confusion. It's understandable. I'm jumping from one topic to another without any reason.

- Did Mapi mess with your head? she deduces, still unsure of what's going on.

- No! I quickly reply. Mapi just needed comfort. She was jealous that she couldn't comfort me the way you do.

- Oh. I didn't see that coming... I thought I was the problem.

- No. She just felt neglected. We've drifted apart because of the distance, but it'll be okay. And...

I pause for a moment, unsure if I should continue.

- And?

- Will you promise not to hold it against her? I ask, nervously biting my lip.

- Why would I hold it against her?

- Because I'm not sure you'll appreciate what she thought of you at first...

- Go on, she mumbles, her mood shifting.

I bite my lip again. I know I'm taking a risk, but I can't afford to stay silent. I promised myself to be honest with her.

- I think she still saw us as the teens we were, because she thought you were too calm and reasonable for me.

I watch her closely as I say all this. Her reaction is strange. It's as if she's suppressing her feelings again.

- If you say that's what she thinks, then I guess that's not how you feel?

Of course not. How many times do I have to tell you? You're everything I need, Lucy. Mapi understands that now. Especially after the Valentine's Day you planned for me. She's planning to apologize to you because she knows I would tell you. If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I don't care about playing the reckless teenager anymore.

- OK... she murmurs. Thank you for being honest. I'll wait for Mapi's apology.

The tone of her voice isn't as cold as I expected. I understand that she doesn’t hold it against her. After all, she didn’t like her much at first either. If she says this, it's probably because she’ll use the opportunity to talk with her face-to-face.

- Thank you, I whispered at the thought. Thank you for everything.

- I love you.

My muscles relax at these simple words, which have become part of our daily routine. Lucy had promised to show me how much I mean to her, and for the past three days, that's all she’s done. I feel so loved, especially after struggling for so long to love myself.

- Say it again, please.

- I love you, my love.

This time, there’s a hint of amusement in her voice, but it doesn’t lessen the impact. She pulls me closer, returning us to our original position.

- Everything will be okay, alright? We'll figure things out. I’ll take care of us. But you, I want you to prioritize your future.

- You are my future, I murmured.

- I mean professionally, my love. I’ll take care of you like I promised, and I’ll handle our other relationships, like with Mapi if needed, but you have to focus on your studies first. Is that clear? Can you do that? It’s not that hard, right?

- No... It isn’t, as long as you’re by my side.

- I will be, no matter what. And how about we just enjoy our moment for once, hmm? You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this.

- No, I don’t, but I understand why now. I wanted to thank you for being so patient with me. These past few days have been magical. I haven’t felt this at peace in someone’s arms in a long time.

- That’s all that matters then. That’s how I want you to feel with me. Not scared, or anxious, or lacking confidence, or uncomfortable... Just yourself.

- I am, I murmured. You’re the one who helped rebuild me. You’re probably the person I trust the most.

I take a deep breath at that thought. It’s frightening to depend so much on one person. But that’s my reality. I truly depend on Lucy. We both know that if she’s no longer in my life, I might spiral even worse than before. It happened once, and it wasn’t pretty. I could barely sleep at night or eat during meals, and it will happen again if she ever leaves me. I know that’s unlikely now, but even a one percent chance is terrifying.

- I don’t want to go back, I confided. You make me feel like I’m living a dream.

- I assure you, your dream is real, she teased. You’ll have to get used to living this peacefully.

- You have no idea how right you are, I murmured, snuggling even closer to her.

I close my eyes with a small, satisfied smile spreading across my lips. Yeah, I could easily get used to this new way of life.

- If Mapi kept us apart during our outings, it’s because she missed me, but also because she was seeking my attention out of fear that I’d leave her behind...

- I see, she sighed. There were other ways she could have shown it. Like, for example, talking to you about it.

- She knows she acted poorly, but my distance from her and my closeness to you affected her. She regrets it. In fact, we shouldn’t have involved everyone in this. I should’ve talked to her directly. I almost thought she had a fight with Ingrid.

- She didn’t, don’t worry. Ingrid mentioned it briefly at lunch, she reassured me.

A small sigh of relief escaped me. The last thing we need is for our little issues to affect their relationship.

- So, everything’s settled now? She’s going to leave us alone for the rest of the trip?

- I’ll make sure of it, I giggled.

- Good... So, back to you. Why do you understand how she feels?

- Because I’m afraid of our return to school...

- Babe, she sighed. We’ve already talked about this.

[bonefall]

(dif anon) So is Ashfur grooming Shadowsight a plotline you would keep/rework in BB? I'm not so keen on the way canon used it to retcon his epilepsy, but I do think a plotline examining how clerics can be vulnerable to abuse from StarClan spirits is kinda compelling

Shadowsight's epilepsy is staying in BB, the Erins can try and take it away again over my dead body

Yes, that's staying and BB!StarClan was reworked with unfairness in mind.

This time around, I'm considering the idea that Ashfur didn't work completely alone. After the events of Squirrelflight’s Horror, Silverpelt's divisons are starting to crackle the stars.

Skystar and the other more traditional spirits are losing patience with the peace that Fire Alone brings, and the ways that the code has been bent.

They feel that honor is being lost in their descendants.

Even angels disrespect the collective; see how Skypelt has its own heaven? With a demon in its midst? There is blasphemy even in the skies.

Firestar and the more modern pantheon are ferociously defensive of the choices of the living. StarClan exists for them; not the other way around.

Meanwhile, Mousefur has gone missing. Others start to blink out, too. This is causing panic... and Ashfur keeps it quiet that he's the only one who knows where they've gone.

The angels that plan action probably were a small group to begin with, radical spirits. Skystar and Ashfur are two of them, and Ash is the "youngest." So when he comes down to the mortal plane and betrays them, very few other angels knew what had happened.

(I might even have a few angels be doing the various supernatural things in that first book, but slowly, Ashfur is wittling down their numbers until it's just him.)

I'm still working out specifics, but the other angels that Ashfur has consumed are giving him a massive power boost. He can use this to jump between planes freely, and he's able to do some whacky things like weave dreams and pull nightmares out of the Dark Forest.

The most important unique power he has, which he can do ALL on his own once he's absorbed enough starpower, is blast Shadowpaw with a bolt of lightning. The electric current runs through Shadowpaw's brand new scar, giving him a connection to StarClan like he's a little radio tower.

Thing is... when StarClan is blocked off, the only signal he receives is Ashfur's.

So, Shadowpaw.

From the time he was very young, Shadowkit has had an unhealthy relationship to life and death

He watched a lot of cats die before he was old enough to really understand it, and the only one who came back was Heartstar.

His epilepsy was so severe it would have been terminal. He was prepared to die as a kit.

Tawnypelt took him to the Tribe to learn more about treatments, bringing back a method of refining chamomile to manage the convulsions.

When people come back from death, it was to serve "a purpose."

He feels like he needs to be special, like he needs to find the great meaning in his life. The reason why he's still here.

In BB, there can be guardian angels. Cats you knew in life who decide to watch out for you in the afterlife. Moleflight is Jayfeather's, Shrewface is Squirrelflight’s. Ashfur poses as Shadowpaw's.

THAT is how I plan to address my criticism. Ashfur DOES build a very personal, trusting relationship with Shadowpaw, pretending to be the one who's here to give him the destiny he craves. Pretending like he's someone looking out for him.

I actually LIKE how desperate the situation was in-canon and I want to stress how none of this was Shadow's fault, so I also plan to keep that they had very little choice. Shadowpaw trusts his angel completely, and Ashfur coaches him on saying all the right things.

The older Clerics are suspicious, but... what else can they do?

Also, instead of framing this all as something Shadowpaw needs to "atone" for, I'm going to make certain cats unfairly scapegoat him for bringing the Impostor into the forest. Shadowpaw himself agrees with them, blaming himself, but he has to learn it wasn't his fault.

He DIDN'T let anyone down by failing to live up to great expectations, and there's no way he could have known that Ashfur was using him. This never happened before, he always made the choice he thought was right and tried to make up for harm done, and he's not responsible for what his abuser made him do.

I actually want to have him figure out some of this by talking to DF demons, towards the end. Cats faaaar more responsible for what they did in life than him.

Ravenwing in particular, who was also mislead by a rogue StarClan spirit, but... ultimately decided that if StarClan was right in their judgement.

He was told (by Birchface, but he still doesn't know who it was in particular) to make three kittens unsafe by revealing their parentage. His choice killed three innocent children, and lead to the Queen’s Rights.

And StarClan was furious that he'd ever believe they'd want something so CRUEL.

And even if they DID want something so cruel... "Then they wouldn't have been ancestors worth following. And that's why I believe it's right that I'm here."

As a Cleric, he had authority on their behalf. And if they would misuse it through him, he wishes he could have just given it right back.

And Shadowsight's lightbulb goes Ding!

The very last thing Ashfur does in TBC, when the jig is up and he's about to be killed by the Lights in the Mist and a bunch of Demons who have come to defend their home, is swallow a Founder-- Skystar.

He takes the level of a true god, and reaches a nearly undefeatable level of power. Instead of black water, he's so large, malicious, and has a gravitational pull so massive it starts destroying the afterlife. It shatters the purgatory (Meadow of Young Stars) into floating cosmic fragments, and Heaven and Hell are set to collide.

Shadowsight confronts Ashfur, politely explaining that he's, well... done a lot of thinking, and, he doesn't really want what he gave him. "You can, uh, have this back!"

And blasts the lightning from his scar right back at him, like a chain, holding the screeching eldrich horror in place. Every ally he's made, here in the DF, come down from StarClan, and as Lights in the Mist, jump to his side. They can't hold down Ashfur, but they can hold SHADOWSIGHT

While they're all supporting him, Bristlefrost sees the one chance to get rid of him, once and for all. A clear shot. She bolts, pounces, and SHOOTS right into Ashfur like a falling star, knocking them both off the edge of the heaven he destroyed, burning up in orbit with a monster a hundred times her size.

And after that, Shadowsight has to go home and live with this.

He gave up the very connection that made him so special, and now he has to go back to being a Cleric without StarClan.

but the other Clerics accept this. They have to. They were all complicit in the choices that allowed the Impostor to rise.

What Shadowsight learns is... everyone was part of this. From those who made the follies with him, to the supporters and rebels against the impostor, to those who helped him realize his worth, to Bristlefrost who ultimately killed Ashfur.

He is valuable because living is valuable.

Everyone, and everything, matters. All cats have a role to play, and he was never alone.

I want to close him out in BB!TBC on a tea scene that parallels the various points in his life. Others used to prepare his chamomile treatments FOR him, in careful doses, because it is a very serious medicine. Now, at the end, he's the one brewing it.

A fully fledged Cleric, who realizes he's never been alone. Cats who love him were around him the whole time, making his medicine, and they'll love him even after he's given up his powerful gift. So now he's at the stage in his life where HE can make that medicine, share his wisdom with others, and find fulfillment in the skills he's acquired over a hard life brightening.

[jeonjungkookenthusiast1997]

The Price of Love and Loyalty - Lee Minho x Reader

Summary: Y/N is sent deep into enemy territory, by her older brother, to try and mend an age old feud between two Mafia organisations. Can she gain the trust of the Stray Kids? Can a hatred that long standing be fixed by a simple truce? All Y/N knows for sure is it's going to take a lot of patience to make this messy situation work out for the best.

Do not repost or translate my work! My blog is 18+ so minors do not interact!

TW: gangs, mafia families, weapons and mentions of violence, some major hostility between everyone involved, mean Minho, mentions of BTS as a rival gang.

Word Count: 3K

"This is a bad idea Namjoon. A really fucking bad idea"

Y/N's words echo through her thoughts as she walks the streets of Seoul. 

Slender fingers pull at the sleeves of rather thin coat attempting to pull it closer to her shivering body as she roams the abandoned streets looking for a very particular building, it's been a long time since she'd been allowed to this part of town so she endeavours to soak it all in before she's no doubt banished back to her own territory… or worse. 

Her older brother Namjoon was the imposing, usually smart, leader of the Mafia she belonged to but she truly feared her beloved brother may have finally lost his mind if he thought sending his little sister into enemy territory is a good idea. 

Bangtan had lost a lot of good and loyal members recently in fights with their rivals Stray kids, so determined not to lose anyone else Namjoon decided a truce was the best course of action. 

That is why Y/N is currently trudging towards Stray Kids headquarters, her nervous eyes flitting between buildings that tower above her.

"Almost there" she whispers to herself in a bid to settle her nerves. 

She rounds the last corner to her destination with a weary smile and is about to walk the last stretch of pavement when a blow to the back of her head sends her body hurtling to the rocky floor, dark bleeds into her vision as she moans in pain before losing consciousness.

When Y/N finally wakes up her eyes are watering, barely adjusting to the harsh light when a dark chuckle sounds in her throbbing ears. She looks down as her head swirls with confusion and notices that she's tied to a chair with thick black ropes.

Groaning, she tries to lift her head to look at her assailant. A disparaging ‘tsk’ is sent her way as her eyes finally focus on the man in front of her.

“I would advise you not to move too much YN, you'll only make things worse for yourself” she recognises the voice as a pair of cruel brown eyes reveal themselves.

"Lee Minho" she grits her teeth as the words drip from her throat like venom.

A sinister smile stretches over his lips and reaches his cheeks as he glares at the woman left helpless before him looking her up and down before whispering in a dark tone ”you're in my territory now little one”

Y/N glares at Minho as she watches his movements carefully "you've got a shitty way of greeting people, you didn't need to knock me out. I would have come peacefully"

Minho scoffs as he moves closer to her "yeah yeah and I'm the king of England, why are you in my territory anyway?”

He's so close to her now that she can feel his warm breath fan over her face as he speaks. She hums to herself as she acknowledges his words.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" A smirk graces her features as she tugs on the ropes binding her hands behind her back "maybe I'm just here to get a glimpse at the great and powerful Lee Minho, is that a crime?"

The man's distaste for Y/N is palpable as his nose scrunches in disgust “Oh, not at all YN…” he coos sweetly at her, his words dripping with sarcasm “but your appearance here is still a little suspicious don't you think…”. Minho tilts his head to the side as he looks at her.

Y/N notes that, with his face so close, his eyes are a warmer shade of brown than she remembered with almost golden flecks scattered around the orbs making them shine beautifully and yet at the same time they appear so cold and cruel. She doesn't dwell on those distracting thoughts for long though as she tugs on the ropes again to no avail.

With an overly dramatic sigh her head tips backwards in an attempt to get away from his fiercely perceptive gaze.

"Fine, fine I'm here on behalf of my brother. He wants to talk to Chan. Figured he'd be shot on sight if he came here himself so here I am…yay" her eyes roll as she feigns enthusiasm.

Minho’s eyes glow darkly but surprisingly he does chuckle at her “ah, so you’re just Namjoon's little messenger? But why does he want to talk to Chan?”

Y/N’s eyes shift to look away from the man to a dark corner of the bleak room "I guess you could say that. Is that really any of your concern? I'm here to talk to Bang Chan, not you"

A low, almost animalistic, growl leaves his throat almost shocking her “anything involving Chan's safety is of concern to me, little girl”

Minho’s gruff voice echoes loudly in the small room “so, I advise you not to hide anything from me, otherwise you won’t be getting what you came for. Haven't you learnt not to mess with me Y/N?”

Minho moves his head away from her face as his fingers trace over a small wound, coated in dry blood.

Wanting to be as far away from Minho as she possibly can given her circumstances she tries to shift her body but can only pull so far away with her hands bound making her huff in annoyance.

"My brother wants to call a truce between our organisations" the room is silent for a moment before Minho finally speaks up.

“A truce?” he's clearly not very happy about the offer judging by the frown on his face “and why do you want a truce?” he smiles crookedly as he adds “our families work very differently. You, above anyone should know that for a fact”

Her ability to remain calm is slipping as she grits her teeth to stop the insults that threaten to leave her lips.

"Oh come on Minho we both know a truce would be beneficial to us all. We've both lost good people in the last few months, Jungkook has a hole in his leg currently because of a gun fight with your men!"

The brooding man smiles fondly at this fact "ah yes…poor pathetic Jungkook"

Something inside of her snaps at that "well I happen to know that your precious little Hannie is bundled up in bandages right now after a run in with Jimin" she smirks at the probing words knowing it's bound to get a reaction.

A fire blazes in Minho's eyes as he reaches out to grip her hair harshly between his fingers "the fuck did you just say?"

Y/N simply smiles at him as she remains silent, wide doe eyes blinking at him in fake innocence.

"Why would we want a truce after everything Namjoon has allowed his men to do?" Minho drops her hair from his hold as he turns his back on her, ready to leave her to rot in that disgusting room.

"I understand you don't trust us and I don't blame you. Hell if you came knocking on my door I'd have Yoongi knocking you on your ass in seconds"

She lets out a laugh as Minho's retreating form stiffens "that's another reason why I'm the one that's here"

At that Minho turns to face her with a look of actual interest in what she had to say "I need to see Bang Chan before I continue speaking, I don't want the message to be misinterpreted"

His eyes roll but he gives her his full attention again “you're right, I don’t trust you”

Minho’s body seems to tense but he isn't outright rejecting her words “but since you are here in the flesh clearly as a sign of goodwill, I will let you talk to Chan”

Minho steps away but she feels a chill run down her spine as he turns towards her “but I’ll be staying right here with you”

It's an understandable response really and she had been waiting for it, Minho is part of Bang Chan's inner circle and the head of his security detail so she doesn't fight him on this front.

"I expected that so please untie me so we can get this over and done with" she wiggles her arms to get his attention on her bound limbs.

Minho seems to think for a moment, weighing up his options before he mutters a gruff “No. You stay bound”

Minho uses one of his hands to grip her arm, lifting her body up into a standing position making her whine out in frustration.

He keeps his hold on her arm firm as he stands beside her “for our safety and yours…let’s go" without any more warning he begins pulling her out of the room and down a long corridor.

They pass a few locked doors and armed guards before stopping at a large and intricately decorated door.

"Are you ready?" Minho smirks as his hands come to knock on the door.

He gives the door a few sharp taps before opening the door to reveal the Bang Chan himself staring at them intently.

There's a few men huddled around him as they point to some papers that are scattered across the leaders desk, the hurried whispers stopping abruptly as Minho steps into the room stopping as the pair reach Chan.

“Hyung I have a surprise for you” Chan's eyes almost bulge out of his head as he clearly recognises Y/N.

Chan's eyes stay trained on Y/N for a few moments before they slide to her side to look at Minho "what the fuck is she doing here? Should I be expecting Namjoon to burst through my window any second now?"

He's clearly very annoyed and at that moment Y/N is glad it isn't being directed at her.

"Apparently she was sent here by Namjoon actually" Minho shrugs his shoulders dismissively.

"Oh really? What happened to her head then? And why is she tied up?"

At this Minho finally looks somewhat sheepish "okay that was me but she was intruding on our turf!"

"I didn't know she was here to deliver a message and I sure as shit didn't wait around to ask! I haven't untied her in case tries something" Minho turns his head pointedly to look in her direction as he finishes speaking.

Chan sighs deeply as he rubs his eyes "a message? What message?" Chan's eyes are planted firmly on Y/N again, much to her displeasure, as Minho nudges her.

"I have already told Minho this…" she glares at him as he smiles amused by her side

"but I'll say it again for the benefit of everyone in the room, I'm here because my brother wants a truce between Bangtan and Stray kids" she waits patiently as her words float through the air.

Chan’s gaze is laser focused on the nervous girl, he is silent for a moment before he finally speaks.

“A truce, huh...?"

"Why does Namjoon want a truce and why send his precious little sister into the lion's den? Any of us could have killed you on the spot, you’re lucky you escaped Minho with a simple cut”

Clearing her throat before speaking again she looks to the floor "Namjoon's sick of seeing his brothers hurt and murdered"

"That's why he wants a truce and as for your other questions, he sent me because he knows that above all else you respect women. He figured you'd at least let me explain myself"

She takes a breath as all the eyes in the room are focused on her

"that and well, there's too much bad blood between you and our members. At least I haven't killed any of your men" she finishes as her eyes scan the men standing beside Chan.

She recognises a few faces.

She notes that Felix and Changbin are at his side with Seungmin off in the corner watching her intently with dark cold eyes as he spins a butterfly knife between his fingers sending chills down her spine.

"He also sent me because I'm part of the deal he's offering"

"As a sign of good faith Namjoon is proposing that I stay here until you can be sure he won't attack your 'home' anymore" she closes her eyes for a moment as she tries to calm her rapidly beating heart.

The room is so silent after her speech that it's almost suffocating as she waits with bated breath for some sort of response.

Chan's face hardens, surprising her "he's offering to keep you here? Like you're some sort of prize for us to hang on the wall? What if we don't trust you enough to keep you here?"

Y/N goes to speak but is stopped as Chan stands up from his seat. He walks around the desk and towards her as sweat starts to build on her forehead.

"Are you even willing to stay here? Willing to follow my rules?" Y/N nods to Chan's questions.

"Namjoon has asked me to do this and I will do it to the best of my ability. I've also seen such horrible things, watched our members get hurt, had to watch Taehyung hold Jungkook down as he screams in pain so that I can make the blood running from his leg finally stop…".

Her vision becomes cloudy as she bites her lip as the tears drip down her cheeks "I want it to stop" she whispers as she looks down to the floor, not wanting the enemy to see her hurting even if she was trying to negotiate an alliance with them.

Bang Chan is silent as he looks at her for a moment, she can feel that Minho is looking at her too and the thought makes her wriggle against the rope wrapped around her hands.

“very well…I can see the loyalty you have for your family. I only hope we can trust you to show the same loyalty to us”

Chan turns his back on them as he walks back to his desk ignoring the surprised looks from the younger members "you can untie her now Min"

Minho nods as he pulls out a knife and cuts the rope. Her eyes drift to his own and she notices that his face is a little softer than it had initially as Chan sits down he watches Y/N wipe the tears from her face with a look of sadness.

"I take it your brother will be in touch to finalise the details?" She simply nods, not quite trusting her words.

"In that case, Minho, I'll be entrusting dear Y/N to you to watch over" Minho groans at the command but nods dutifully.

"Take her and get her step up in the room beside yours" Chan gives Y/N one last look before returning his attention to the papers on his desk, Minho takes a hold of her arm more carefully than before and tugs her out of the room.

It's oddly silent as they walk down the winding corridors which lead to his room, Minho finally speaks up after noticing the awkwardness of the situation.

"I suppose I should officially welcome you to the family..." Minho says while attempting to diffuse the tension.

He leads Y/N up a flight of stairs before finally reaching two doors "My room is the first on the left here if you need anything and this is your room" Minho opens the door and ushers Y/N into the room as he strolls in after her.

Y/N looks around the room while Minho fiddles with something off to the side; the room is relatively simple, she notes, it has a large floor to ceiling wardrobe, a comfy double bed. A full sized mirror and a lamp stowed beside a small bedside table.

Minho gives her a few moments to find her bearings before speaking "well it's late and I'm ready for this day to be fucking over"

His sigh makes her turn to look at his face, his eyes are bloodshot and has bags under them which makes her wince as he gives her a piece of paper which seems to hold his phone number on it.

"in case you need it… try not to though ‘kay?" she nods while watching him walk to the door, leaving the young woman to her new personal space.

"Chan will probably arrange for me or Bin to go get your shit from Bangtan so don't worry about all that"

Y/N eyes start to water a little at the mention of her old home making Minho panic as he moves towards the door "since I'll be watching over you for now, if you need anything just text me or knock on the wall… I guess”

He's about to leave when Y/N grabs his wrist making him turn back “thank you for you know… not killing me straight off the bat”

Minho snorts at her words as he nods “hmm you're lucky you’ve got a pretty face. Wouldn't want to mess it up too much” again he laughs at her when he notices her wide eyes.

“Night” he smiles ever so slightly as he turns and slips away into his own room leaving Y/N alone to take everything in.

Changing into some old shorts and a baggy top she found laid on top of her bedside table she flung herself onto the bed, it was comfy sure but it wasn't home.

As her thoughts turn to her brother and his own inner circle, each of the members in it becoming like family themselves, tears flow freely from her heavy eyes and her chest rises with her increasing sobs.

She doesn't even care anymore if the Stray Kids members can hear her, she's distraught about leaving them behind but she understood why Namjoon had done it and that made the pain in her heart burn a little less brightly.

She'd done this for them, to stop the bloodshed and pain that invaded their lives daily and if her living here was the only way to do that she would have to suck it up and deal with it. As she's about to go to sleep her phone, which she had almost forgotten about, buzzes to life with messages coming through fast.

Jeon Cena 💪🏼:

Y/N?

Are you okay?

Do I need to beat some bitches up?

Cause I swear I'll come down there and

fuck

them

up

😡

God of Destruction 💀:

Please tell me you got there safely? 💜

Kook calm down, I'm sure everything's fine

Jiminie Cricket 🦗:

Speak to us Y/NNN

If you don't answer I'll be forced to cut a bitch 🔪

J-Nope 🔆:

Has anyone heard from her yet?

Guessing not?

Motionless Min 😴:

No

Starting to worry now…

Jinnie Choos 💁🏼‍♂️:

Lil Tae Tae 🎤:

If she doesn't answer in the next 5 minutes I say we burn their building to the fucking ground

Jinnie Choos 💁🏼‍♂️:

Motionless Min 😴:

Wouldn't we risk killing Y/N doing that?

Seems counter intuitive? 🤷🏼‍♂️

God of Destruction 💀:

No one is doing anything until she gets in touch and that's final

Everybody got that?

Jeon Cena 💪🏼:

What if she doesn't get in touch?

We sit around and do nothing?

Strawberry Shortcake 🍰:

Guys!

I'm fine!

Please don't burn the building down 🙈

Just been given a room so it could be worse

Seems like I'm stuck with Lee Minho for the time being 😫

She can't help but laugh as fresh tears roll down her cheeks "fuck I'm going to miss these idiots"

Y/N wipes the tears from her eyes before quickly explaining to the guys exactly what had happened from Minho tying her up, which was met with many furious responses, to Chan agreeing to the truce.

It takes her a few hours but finally the exhaustion finally kicks in and her swollen eyes close as she begins to dream of her happy life back at Bangtan.

Once she felt she'd given a good enough update she bid them all good night and buried herself under the unfamiliar covers.

[northern-passage]

some of you may have seen over on my kithj blog but i'm currently in the process of editing/rewriting the current chapters of tnp (mainly the prologue & ch1) i'm only on the prologue right now but making steady progress. i'm getting to a lot of edits i've been putting off (like the wraith fight) and updating/revising some of the lore and worldbuilding. i'm hopeful this will improve what's already there and also motivate me to keep going and finally get back in the saddle completely.

i've made the decision to cut out certain choices, the biggest ones being that you can no longer turn Clementine away on the road (it was always a bit of an empty choice and just resulted in the player losing interactions with a main character who is ultimately unavoidable) as well as genderlocking the sibling. congrats, you now have a little sister!

otherwise the only other major changes i'm planning on at the moment is the aforementioned wraith fight, though i don't imagine the fight itself changing too much, mainly the structure and choices, and then i also plan to rewrite Noel's route in ch1. Noel's route has been something that has bothered me since the start, and i'm going to essentially swap xir path in ch1-- rather than going to the isolation district (which ultimately doesn't do much, since you go with him either way the following day in ch2) you'll be going along with him on his house calls. there are a lot of other minor things i'll be editing as well, but those are the only big content changes i'm looking at currently.

the wraith fight will probably take some time, and i want to update with both chapter overhauls completed, so don't expect that any time soon, but i figured i'd share what i'm up to at the moment :-) thank you as always for your patience and support!

[alaskasmonsters]

𝖕𝖚𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖕𝖎𝖌𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖘 (michael kaiser)

pairing: michael kaiser x gn!reader

contents: playful insults, teasing, mistaking attraction for hatred, foreign language (french), enemies to lovers (hinted)

w/c: 1.842

summary: when you accompany your friend noel to blue lock you did not consider that kaiser, aka the bastard’s most infamous asshole, would be there, too. luckily your favourite pastime activity was throwing french insults into his face that no one but noel could understand.

a/n: this is based on a request i got :) this isn’t really love-hate and more another ‘attraction mistaken for hatred’ buuut if you’re all nice i’ll make a second part about when they move into the love-hate stage :) also can i just note how eVIL it is to ask a german person to write about the fRENCH. we are natural enemies yall 😔😔 we meet behind a denny’s to fistfight (and kiss) whaat who said that?!?! anyways i did love this prompt despite not being able to speak french. i was able to ask my friend to give me some phrases, their credentials are *checks papers* mediocre school french 👍🏻👍🏻 so let’s just hope my friend can be trusted, if not hope kaiser being hot makes up for it! (also french people <3 if you wanna correct my french pls do 🙏🙏)

You grumbled to yourself, regarding Kaiser with a glare. Not one he could notice since he was currently standing with his back turned towards you, conversing with Ness.

“Blaireau,” you muttered under your breath, eyes narrowing at the boy.

Noel, who was sitting next to you, let out a sigh but didn’t even raise his gaze from his clipboard to regard you with one of his typical deadpan looks.

You guessed it wasn’t necessary, he knew you well enough to know you were sitting there with a frown edged into your features and your arms crossed in front of your chest.

“So you’ve started doing it even when he’s not close enough to hear you,” he asked you.

“Pardon me?”

“Muttering insults in french. I thought you were doing it to infuriate him but I am sure you know he cannot hear you from this distance.” To emphasise his statement he lifted his hand to point towards Kaiser, who was standing several feet away fem the two of you, before returning the pen he was holding to the paper, scribbling down another number.

You wondered how Noel made sense of it all. Keeping track of the stats of all the new team additions and transferring these numbers into percentages. What those percentages exactly meant you were unsure about. All you knew was that your friend spent a lot of time on them.

You sighed, trying your best not to glare at Kaiser again as you turned to look towards him. You failed.

“Infuriating him is only an added benefit. I do enjoy just insulting him for the sake of it.”

“I see.” Although Noel sounded unimpressed you could tell he would lose his patience with this little thing you and Kaiser had going on, sooner or later.

Especially if it would end up distracting the boy from soccer, not that you thought that was ever possible. Kaiser would rather ignore you for the rest of his life than endanger his soccer career.

You turned towards Noel again and let out a dramatic sigh. Time to make this predicament you were in known to him once more.

“Noel, i need you to look me in the eyes and tell me Kaiser isn’t one of the most annoying assholes you’ve ever met.” You challenged him, lowering your voice as to not catch the attention of any of the boys standing nearby.

The corner of Noel’s lips twitched up at your frustrated tone. Almost like he didn’t take you seriously. You frowned. Rude. This matter was dead serious.

“He doesn’t know how to behave. I trust you to be the mature one. Unless you want me to get you thrown out of this building. You’re only here because i consider you a dear friend, don’t forget that.”

You gasped, offended at the insinuation he’d be willing to throw you out, his best friend, in favour of keeping Kaiser’s ego intact. It was true that you were only allowed to accompany him to ‘Blue Lock’ because he had requested your presence, seeing as you were his best friend. You needed to emphasise that because ‘dear friend’? Yeah right. He wouldn’t know what to do without you. He’d certainly lose his mind.

“You wouldn't. You need me. My presence is precious to you,” you insisted, digging your finger into his arm, not unkindly. “But okay, I promise to behave since Kaiser is clearly not able to.”

You thought offering this was extremely kind of you since it was Kaiser who needed to learn some manners, not you. You were extremely well behaved.

“Aww you’re quite obsessed with me, aren’t you, darling?”

Your blood turned cold. When you turned your head back forward you were met with the sight of none other than Michael Kaiser standing only three feet in front of you, a shit eating grin on his face.

“Casse-toi, Kaiser.” You cursed before you were able to stop yourself.

Kaiser’s grin grew. Noel let out a sigh next to you.

“You promised,” He reminded you and looked up from the clipboard to regard you with a pointed look. “Please, Y/n.”

“It’s not my fault. He’s started it!” You gasped, pointing at Kaiser childishly.

He laughed, waving his hand.

“I just came to say hello after hearing my name come out of your mouth so often. I was afraid you’d wither away without my attention.” His voice was dripping with sarcasm, his innocent smile fooling no one.

Your jaw ticked and before you knew it you had risen to your feet and stomped forward to close the remaining distance between you two to start cursing him out in french.

To your growing anger Kaiser took it in stride, cocking his head at you and listening with interest as you threw insult after insult at his head before Noel apparently had enough of you. He grabbed your wrist and yanked you back telling you to sit back down and ignore Kaiser. He sounded exhausted.

Easier said than done. Kaiser’s whole nature demanded attention. It was impossible to ignore him. But you had promised Noa you’d behave, so you guessed you should at least try.

“T’es chiant!” you snapped at Kaiser, seeing this as the end of your fight, before you let Noel pull you down into the seat.

Noel gave you another pointed look before his gaze shifted back to Kaiser who was watching your interaction with amusement though there was a dark edge to his gaze that wasn’t there before.

“You’re not done with your training, yet, are you?” Noel asked Kaiser

The boy grinned and gave a halfhearted shrug.

“I’m taking a break.”

“Take it somewhere else,” you bit out, feeling Noel’s disapproving glare burn into the side of your face.

You were trying!

“I prefer your lovely company over the one of the common folk,” Kaiser replied easily, waving his hand in the general direction of where you saw the boys of the ‘Blue Lock’ project talk.

Kaiser didn’t like them much, especially Isagi, who has already declared war on him in a very dramatic way that had you questioned the boy’s mental health. Like really, was the boy okay? Talking about devouring people and ruining their life and all.

At least Isagi managed to infuriate Kaiser in a way that no one else was able to. Of course, this meant that you did like Isagi if only because he actually managed to get under the boy’s skin. Unlike you. Kaiser never seemed impressed when you threw french insults into his face, no, it was the complete opposite. He seemed to love it. He seemed to bash in your attention. This only made you angrier.

Entitled jerk.

Maybe you’d just have to take your ‘lovely company’ to Isagi and his friends the next time you saw Kaiser coming your way. That would keep him away.

“They’re not common folk and you’re not an emperor, Kaiser, at best you’re the roi des cons,” you fired back, regarding him with an unamused look.

Nowl let out another sigh, though you thought it was quite a clever word of play. He just didn’t know how to appreciate it or you for the matter.

Kaiser hummed, taking a few steps forward and lowering his head. His gaze was intense as he fixed yours behind the curtains of his hair that fell into his face. Your heart beat wildly in your chest at the sudden air of seriousness surrounding him.

“Is that a new petname, my love? How precious.” His voice was low and smooth and it took you a second to process his words.

When you did you felt your cheeks explode in heat and you had half a mind to jump up and wrestle Kaiser to the ground if it wasn’t for Noel’s hand grabbing the back of your jacket and pulling you down again.

“Stop provoking them and go back to your training, Kaiser.”

Kaiser just snickered, eyes twinkling with mirth as he took in your red face and the snarl on your lips.

“Don’t miss me too much, i’ll be back in a bit,” he mocked with a grin that reached his eyes but still didn’t look genuine.

He turned around to walk away.

“Va te faire enculer!” You called after him but he just laughed and waved his hand at you without turning back.

You huffed and sunk back in your seat, arms crossed in front of your chest as you pouted. You fucking hated that guy.

Noa watched you quietly for a moment before he shook his head and moved to stand up, pushing his clipboard into your hands for you to hold.

“Your taste in men is horrible,” he told you as nonchalantly as one would discuss the weather before shrugging out of his tracksuit jacket and throwing it on the chair he’s been sitting in.

You shot up, shrieking. “Excuse me?”

A few boys close-by turned to stare at you and you ducked your head in embarrassment at your out-lash but you couldn’t believe the words that had just left your friend’s mouth.

“Kaiser is bad news. You can do better than him.”

You gasped at him, cheeks burning from embarrassment. Where did that just come from? Was he seriously insinuating that you? And Kaiser?

“I’m not- You’re- I-” You stuttered, your heart racing in your chest.

This was- You couldn’t believe this!

Noel rolled his eyes and gently pried the clipboard out of your eyes, levelling you with a calm look.

“If you want to deny it, go ahead. But either way stop pulling Kaiser’s metaphorical pigtails already, it’s exhausting.”

He gave you a gentle clap on the shoulder and a small smile, before walking off towards the direction of the ‘Blue Lock’ boys. You stared after him, your face hot and your mouth agape.

You weren’t-

You and Kaiser? That was ridiculous. Absolutely impossible. You would never, not in a billion years, be attracted to him. He was such an asshole. A complete jerk. Completely infuriating. Why would Noel even think that?

You huffed again, shoulders bunching up as you tried to take a deep breath to calm yourself.

Noel had no idea what he was talking about. What did he even know about romance? Nothing. That’s right!

You lifted your gaze and- You froze when your eyes locked with Kaiser’s. He was standing on the other end of the field, football secured under his arm. He was watching you intensely. From this far away it was hard to make out the look in his eyes but you felt a shiver rake down your spine and the itch on your tongue.

You gave him the middle finger, biting your tongue to not throw another insult his way as you would have had to shout it over the whole field. When the boy did nothing but laugh and blow you a kiss, you quickly turned away. The heat in your cheeks never fading.

Noel was wrong. You did not have a crush on Kaiser. You did not.

Not even a little.

translations:

Blaireau — Asshole

Casse-toi — Fuck off

T’es chiant — You’re annoying

Roi des cons — Complete idiot/King of idiots

Va te faire enculer — Go fuck yourself

[thedivineart]

PICK A CARD ✶ words to describe your current life v.s your future life﹙💮﹚

one

collab with: @thedivineart

current:

cards: king of wands, the tower, the hermit

life's has been rough for you and you losing hope about your future, it's like no matter how effort and hard work you put in certain situation and doing, you still being end up like nothing, you lose hope about succeeding in your life and you never see yourself being in that situation. there's no good being in negativity, keep trying until you succeed, if you still failed try again, the one of main reason why you have years to spend to try again whenever you failed, made a mistake and learned lesson from it. don't give up, roads might have a lot of rocks however that's was a part of your path, how can you remove the rocks if your just going to stare on it - try to do something so you can move, remember your patience and determination is being tested at this present time. Keep going and keep trying for a better future of yours, blockages and challenges may want you to give up but that is part of your line and the path towards your desire or dream life. Also you really lose hope since no one was their during your hard times, no one is listening to your problems and rants about your life which brings so much sadness and loneliness in you.

future:

cards: the chariot, 4 of swords, ace of swords, wheel of fortune, queen of cups

in future, you will overcome a lot of obstacles in your journey to success. you were to determine to achieve this kind of victory in life, you were working too hard and as well focus in what you do however you might be lucky some rest and possibly your health becomes low if you doesn't learn to focus on your health, balancing is the key here. on the other hand, for some people who pick this pile, I do sense that you still not be able to face your obstacles in life, which causes leaving fear inside of you. stress and anxiety will be knocking at you door and it is a part of your path. your ideas, hard work and intellectual ability will lead you to other places that you never been knew before perhaps your boss choose you to be the representative that will be send to foreign country to deal something important. it likes your mental capability and skills will lead you to the success you want in your previous life. your life might be not really good at the present however that is a part of your destiny or fate, also it is part of your past life karma. you will actually change a lot in future, you will become more mature, focus and serious. you often use your mind to create something creative ideas and plans that can be use to your working skills and success. You actually know what to do and you got some plans for your future, you got the clarity vision of it, don't doubt your intuition. you will becoming someone who is kind, warm and sensitive. as the time past by you will learn from your mistakes, and will be a warning not to do it again. I think of people who pick this pile are Libra or got strong Libra placements into their chart, you could be a psychic too.

extras:

learn to congratulate yourself even in small wins

your mission here in life wasn't to survive, you were here to thrive and we know you can do it

not all the winners are the one who never fail sometimes it is the people who never quit

whenever you brings back the memories on how far you been through, you'll find yourself being thankful

you were strong because you been through in weak and downfall moments

you will be creating the life you want

you are a magnet of wealth and success

when you learn something. teach people. when you get something. give people

resort, gathering, basketball, city & light are bright, pinkish, city, big chandelier, air sign, heartbreaker, clumsy, Asia, bald, cooking, clean/neat, medium, they will approach, a friend, rings, dog, possessive, girl, successful, summer, big, drinks, poor, selfish

note:

Hello, please do pay a visit to my account @thedivineart , your support and encouragement will be always enlightened me, Thank You♡

: ･. ﾟ ✧. : ･. ☽˚｡ ･ﾟ ✧: ･. :.

If you liked this reading leaving like, comment or feedback and re-blog are highly appreciated, thank you😊🤍

two

collab with: @pinksobg

current:

pile two, your current life came represented with appreciation and/or your passion for something, it came very pretty and a clear image of you getting your hands up as a young apprentice, who is just starting out but this is far from being bad, because you have love for your ideals within you. the tower; for this beautiful apprentice who came like you, here seems to exist a turning point or something unexpected; like when life seems to give you a big punch in the gut, whether it's a worry or something. with the passing intellect or energies in your life, we can see the 6 of swords: oh yes! after that crumbling tower moment, metaphorically speaking, you're picking up your things and moving on. you are going and walking a path where you can think for yourself. is about that, pile 2? look, with the passage of this path; I asked about your emotional state and another movement card came: the car. you are really changing things, it seems here. changing ideas, concepts, airs or even some cycle of people and/or energies. in your current life, spirituality came like the ace of cups: it seems here that good news comes to you like this; with signs, intuition, good advice, acts of charity or kindness (whether from you, others or both parts); you can really receive good news from the universe, affection, love, respect and even a kind of epiphany through words or, like a beautiful sunset or a flower rising.

future:

for the future, pile two, we can see your efforts. we can see the harvest from after times. with the wheel of fortune, it is possible to perceive that it will be a new cycle. spring, summer, fall, winter. page of cups and knight of wands: you will be stabilized, how nice! 💞 you will be with your emotional state and your passions/activities working as a team. is this your wish? this is the result of a lot of practice, right? maybe you'll need protection from envy, but rest assured, you're safe. friend, if you are interested, try a bath of herbs or new scents to connect with your inner desires and needs — sounds like an advice from your future self. everything will be fine and you will grow up, you will learn how to deal with things you want clarification for. moreover, we have here the seven of cups. "Watch carefully how you treat yourself. Then your course will be extremely clear. Focus and surrender to what is really important to you. Choices are necessary."

"The card seven of cups also tells that we tend to create excesses to compensate for some things that are on low."

"To find your own truth and get back on track, you have to stop traveling in illusions. Whatever you refuse to see or acknowledge within yourself manifests itself in your environment with undeniable force. Take healthy responsibilities. When you are willing to do this, a solution can come much faster."

channeled messages: wine, orange, 7, love, cinderella, love (again), welcoming, welcome, cycles, changes, four seasons, apprentice work, discipline, table, pillow, calming music, spiritual words, high spirituality, sun, sunset, courage, fire placements, rising, air placements.

note:

Hello, please do take have some time to visit their account @pinksobg , read and support their works and blog, trust me they are amazing, Thank You♡

: ･. ﾟ ✧. : ･. ☽˚｡ ･ﾟ ✧: ･. :.

If you liked this reading leaving like, comment or feedback and re-blog are highly appreciated, thank you😊🤍

three

collab with: @alchemie-tarot

current:

cards: 3 of swords, the chariot, queen of wands

you seem to be trying to move on really fast from something heavy and really personal to you. something terrible or something drastically different from what you were expecting had happened. it has affected you deeply but you seem quite determined to not let it show. there is a facade you’re keeping right now— i’m hearing “strong and independent.” you take a lot of pride in appearing put together and making others see that it doesn’t faze you. if this was about a connection, you’re in quite a rush to surround yourself with new people, but for want of distraction that you may be afraid to admit to yourself. it can feel kinda nice for a while but you see, you can only deny the reality of what you truly feel for so long. these feeling will continue to linger not so far off behind you if you keep avoiding to process them, especially if it’s regarding something important to you.

future:

cards: king of pentacles, the sun, the star

very lovely shift of energy!! gradually, this situation will feel a bit bearable to handle. you will let go of the need to rush out of it or run away from it. it’s okay, pile 3; just because some things don’t resolve right away doesn’t mean they won’t ever resolve at all. it may not feel like things are moving right now, but they are, and you will see the change soon, seriously. have some trust that the deep sadness and despair will turn right around in its own way. at some point, you’re just gonna realize that it no longer has a grip on you anymore. for some reason, i feel like this loss ends up leading to a certain gain, a material one. perhaps your story or experience is key for you to start an idea related to business or simply something that leads to more growth for you. something that plants your feet firmly on the ground. soon your own cup will be overflowing. no more baggage. what happened before will stay in the past and will only serve to direct you to the healing and shining happiness that will be in front of you in due time.

note:

Hello, please do take have some time to visit her account @alchemie-tarot , read and support her works and blog, trust me they are amazing, Thank You♡

: ･. ﾟ ✧. : ･. ☽˚｡ ･ﾟ ✧: ･. :.

If you liked this reading leaving like, comment or feedback and re-blog are highly appreciated, thank you😊🤍

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

social media shy

f!potterer!reader x quinn hughes

warnings: swearing

(sidenote: qhuggyhes is quinn's private account - only mentioned once)

liked by analuisacorrigan and 25,145 others

ynofficial: holy mac'n' cheeseballs i'm gonna be in vogue

view all comments

fan1: *takes deep breath* I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

fan2: no more gatekeeping, only girlbossing

fan3: we must gatekeep her from the stinky men though

fan4: you're so beautiful

fan5: i actually can't wait

liked by jackhughes and 34,136 others

ynofficial: can someone get me a cat? i'm in desperate need of a housemate that purrs when cuddled. a cat would also keep me company in this big apartment

view all comments

fan6: my grandma's cat just had kittens and she's in vancouver if you're interested?

ynofficial: ooh yes please!

fan7: what's wrong with your current housemate?

ynofficial: he smiles and falls asleep on me and leaves vancouver for work often :/

fan8: what's wrong with a smile?

ynofficial: it makes me like him even more that's what's wrong

liked by _quinnhughes

qhuggyhes: please don't play the guilt card i WILL fold

liked by ynofficial

fan9: repping lana as we should

ynofficial: the one and only

liked by drewstarkey and 33,197 others

ynofficial: meet harley!! she's so adorable i just want to cry...also she's an incredibly annoying bedmate at times (but she's cute so i'll let her off)

view all comments

fan10: you're a crazy cat lady now, welcome to the club

ynofficial: i'm honoured

fan11: i'm assuming harley is the cat?

ynofficial: your assumption would be correct yes

trevorzegras: and harley is YOUR cat?

ynofficial: stfu yes

jackhughes: i see what you did there. clever.

ynofficial: idk what you're talking about

fan12: why the sudden influx of nhl players?

fan13: i don't even know who any of them are

ynofficial: neither do i

liked by lhughes_06 and 42,192 others

ynofficial: i want you to know i take being a cat mother very seriously and that i'm going to start referring to home as HQ for personal reasons

view all comments

lhughes_06: HQ being harley and...

ynofficial: you used to my favourite

lhughes_06: what am i now?

ynofficial: on thin ice

fan14: pretty sure luke hughes has a brother called quinn

fan15: yeah he does

fan16: quinn is in the second photo and i think the last?

fan17: wait does hq = harley/quinn????

_quinnhughes has added to their story

liked by analuisacorrigan, zoeydeutch and 53,971 others

ynofficial: new 'dainty florals' set on the market!

view all comments

fan18: are you on the market too?

fan19: LMAO no

fan20: i'm analysing her hands now

fan21: POV you're here bc of that twitter thread

fan22: me

fan23: the moon mug is giving fairy garden and i love it

liked by ynofficial

liked by lhughes_06, bradytkachuk and 78,182 others

_quinnhughes: been busy lately

view all comments

fan24: babe we all know *wink wink*

fan25: that's definitely y/n

fan26: quinn rn: sorry i haven't been posting i've been having a lot of sex

fan28: everyone knows

jackhughes: and i'm still patiently waiting

liked by _quinnhughes, _eliaspettersson and 61,513 others

ynofficial: congrats on your-

view all comments

fan29: -record breaking of 263 games to assist 200 times?

liked by ynofficial

jackhughes: 🐔

ynofficial: bet

fan30: even the fucking cake is canucks themed

lhughes_06: if you don't i will

ynofficial: it's cute you think i'll let myself be blackmailed

fan31: it's impossible for it not to be quinn at this point

liked by ynofficial, trevorzegras and 71,480 others

_quinnhughes: i was told to say 'alexa play cornelia street' as a caption

view all comments

bradytkachuk: you're so whipped

liked by _quinnhughes

fan32: this is literally the same place y/n posted in her last post

jackhughes: TAG HER

fan33: jack losing his patience is all of us rn

_quinnhughes went live 3 minutes ago!

liked by ynofficial, _quinnhughes and 89,134 others

jackhughes: because these two IDIOTS are refusing to actually do anything about it, i'm taking the matter into my own hands for my and your mental health. this is ynofficial and _quinnhughes and they are 100% dating and 1000% in love to the point where it actually melts me. thank you and good night

view all comments

lhughes_06: i didn't think you'd ACTUALLY do it

jackhughes: do not underestimate me

_quinnhughes: and then you wonder why luke is y/n's favourite

fan34: WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!!!

liked by jackhughes

ynofficial: i hate you

jackhughes: you wish you did 😘😘 

fan35: i love how y/n and quinn are so private that the only way their relationship would ever get exposed is if someone did it for them

fan36: fr they fit each other so well

fan37: THEY! ARE! PARENTS!

fan38: omg y/n has a harley and a quinn in her life

fan39: HQ makes sense now

[dollystuartwrites]

Stray Gods - Chapter 49

Pairing: Gods!OT8 x !F!Reader Genre: romance, friends to lovers, polyamory, mystery, supernatural, angst, fluff, smut Wordcount: 5112 Chapters:  [1] - [2] - [3] - [4] - [5] - [6] - [7] - [8] - [9] - [10] [11] - [12] - [13] - [14] - [15] - [16] - [17] - [18] - [19] - [20] [21] - [22] - [23] - [24] - [25] - [26] - [27] - [28] - [29] - [30] [31] - [32] - [33] - [34] - [35] - [36] - [37] - [38] - [39] - [40] [41] - [42] - [43] - [44] - [45] - [46] - [47] - [48] - [49] - [?] MASTERLIST Summary: With no memory of who you were, you wake up in the woods, only to be found by eight unusually handsome men. With no information of the past, the guys decide to take you in and take care of you for the time being. But that time becomes years, and as time passes, you start to notice that there is something different about them... and something different about you... Warnings: angst, praise, thigh riding, kissing, fingering, overstimulation, lovebites, bad/miscommunication, low self-esteem, swearing, name-calling, dry humping, college, degradation, gods, special powers, vaginal sex, oral sex (f&m), mentions of contraception (condoms&thepill), injuries, mentions of death (but no character deaths), virgin!reader, teasing, orgasms, poly relationship, semi-public sex, daddy kink, strength kink, grinding, I've probably forgotten some, so let me know if I did and I will add more as the story progresses.

Taglist: @eastleighsblog​​​​ @tangerminie​​​​ @swittyregan​​​​ @septicrebel​​​​ @jiimout​​​​ @zandra-42​​​​​​@julciaqwerty​​​​ @vampcharxter​​​​ @mercurezed​​ @thatgirlangelb​ @cookiemonstermusic258​​ @stayconnecteed​​ @bubblelixie​​ @smilingtokki@hash2013 @juskz Want to be added or did I miss you? Just send me an ASK or DM

Lots of love and many thanks to my current beta’s from Wattpad: rocker7898 and sydneye2411. You guys made my writing so much better <3

'Hey, look at me,' Felix spoke. You looked over at him, your hands still fidgeting with the straps of your bag sitting on your lap.

Felix had insisted on taking you to school today, as Minho had already left, having to arrive early to be on time to prepare for the lessons he had to teach that day. Minho hadn't said much, and you were sure he was the only one who was as doubtful about the entire situation as you were. When Hyunjin had left your room, he had returned to Han, continuing to monitor him and relieving Felix from his post. You had gotten ready far too slowly, your head still going back and forth between believing and trusting in Hyunjin and the urge to run back into Han's room. By the time you were done, Minho had already left. You knew you had been slow on purpose, hoping that being unable to catch a ride with Minho would give you the excuse to stay home. Somewhere you suspected that that was why Minho hadn't announced his departure, nor given you a heads-up and final call like he usually did. You suspected he too would prefer it if you were to stay home with Han, even if it would hinder your academic success. But Han wouldn't have it. When Felix had left his room it seemed like Han had given him a mission of making sure you would get to school today. After checking your bag for the umpteenth time, pretending you weren't sure if you had packed your favorite pen, notebook, and charger, Felix was starting to lose his patience and urged you out of the house. For the entire drive to school, you sat beside him silently, fiddling with your bag nervously as you kept imagining Han's pale and sick face.

Felix gave you a kind smile.

'We've arrived,' he said simply. You looked out the window again, seeing the familiar building, with many people coming and going to and from the entrance.

'Right,' you said, quickly opening the door and jumping from your seat.

You heard the other car door open and close, and as you were about to take a step towards the school, Felix halted you. He rested his hands upon your shoulders and turned you to face him, hands not leaving you.

'He'll be alright by the time you get home,' Felix assured you, repeating Hyunjin's words.

'How do you know?' You asked, insecurity lacing your tone. Felix sighed.

'Trust Hyunjin. He knows what he's talking about. I know it's scary and all, one of us being sick for the first time, but I'm sure he is right. There is no doubt in my heart that his diagnosis is incorrect. So trust him,' Felix urged.

'I do but…' you began, hesitating for a moment, 'but how can he look like that, be so sick… just because of.. love… is it… it's… because of me, right?'

'Oh baby,' he said with a chuckle, taking you into his arms and hugging you tightly.

'None of this is your fault, and no one could've ever seen this coming. We only just found out too, even Hyunjin had a hard time placing his finger on it,' Felix said in a comforting tone.

'But how can he be that sick?' you pressed on worriedly. Felix let go of you, putting his hands on your shoulders once more and looking at you warmly.

'We might be gods, but we don't know everything, you know,' he said with a chuckle. 'Honestly, I don't know why he is as sick as he is, and why he is the only one,' Felix admitted truthfully, looking thoughtful, 'but I know illnesses and I know they can affect different beings in very different ways, even if they are the same species. Besides, it's what Hyunjin always says; the power love holds over all things is severely underestimated. I've seen many pets miraculously cured of diseases that I personally had diagnosed and pronounced terminal, just because of the love they got from their humans. Mind you, of course, that's not for every pet, and that doesn't mean they don't get enough love but-' he added, but seeing your face he quickly stopped and cleared his throat. 'Anyhow, what I was saying is that, as Jinnie always persists, love has more power than we realize and works in mysterious ways.' Felix ended.

'He will get better,' you said, stating it to convince yourself.

'He will get better,' Felix said definitely. 'And he is already getting better as a matter of fact. Just when you left I noticed his heartbeat seemed to be getting back to normal and even his color and scent seemed to be slowly returning to its original state,' Felix said seriously but with a smile.

You nodded.

'Now, no more dawdling because Han will give me an earful, as soon as his voice is recovered, if I do not get you to your next lesson on time,' he laughed. You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at his remark. He let go of your shoulders, and one of his hands took hold of your chin.

'Can I see your pretty smile one more time before you leave?' he asked sweetly. You smiled for him, a real smile and a bit of warmth seemed to return to your insides. 'That's my baby,' he grinned. He bent towards you, planting a soft kiss on your lips before withdrawing again. You could instantly feel yourself blushing. 'Just making sure I won't get sick as well,' he teased. You pouted at him and he winked, letting go of your face and waving you goodbye as you walked up to the school.

'WHYYYYYY are you not just addicted to your phone like the rest of us,' an irritated voice spoke. Before you could look around, you were being jumped, an arm around your neck pulling you into a headlock.

'Sera!' you said her name, laughing but trying to get free.

'No! I told you I would kill you when you'd get back, so get it girl,' she laughed, rubbing her hand over your hair and messing it up. You squealed and giggled, trying to get loose but she wouldn't let go until she was satisfied.

'There,' she said huffing as she let go of you, putting her hands on her hips and looking at your messed up hair proudly, 'totally killed your vibe.'

'I guess I had it coming,' you chuckled, trying to flatten your hair again with your hands.

'Yes, you did. And after my lecture yesterday, you still didn't react to my messages this morning,' Sera said, tutting and shaking her head like a disappointed parent.

'Oh, shit, Sera I'm sorry,' you said, quickly pulling out your phone and checking it. You indeed had quite a few unread messages. Sera sighed but smiled.

'It's fine,' she said, waving her hand dismissively. 'I'm just happy you're here and you're fine. Wanna have lunch then?' she asked, pointing with her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of the cafeteria. You nodded.

'Where's Adam? You asked her, looking around but not spotting his blonde hair anywhere.

'Class,' Sera said simply, pulling up her nose and shrugging.

The two of you made your way to the cafeteria, chatting about her weekend. By the time you got seated and started eating, the conversation slowly shifted to your weekend.

'So erm, how did your weekend end?' Sera asked, suddenly sounding apprehensive. You looked up, a feeling of suspicion instantly upon you.

'Why do you ask?' You said, slightly sharper than you had intended to. Sera looked away for a second. You could see her chewing the inside of her cheek thoughtfully for a second, an expression on her face that seemed almost doubtful.

'I…' she began, pausing for a moment, then hesitantly continuing as she straightened her back, 'I incidentally saw you arriving this morning. My class was boring and you just happened to be right outside of my window,' she added quickly, hesitating and pausing again. 'I saw you with some guy- a different one I mean,' she said meaningfully, 'Don't get me wrong,' she quickly added, putting her hands up. 'I mean, I just,' she said, her face suddenly becoming quite pink. 'I'm a curious person, okay?' she insisted, her cheeks blushing and nervously scooting over the bench. You could feel yourself holding your breath. 'It's just- I'm normally very good at reading people, but you… You're different. Good different though! Not like I think you're an alien or something,' she giggled nervously. You had never seen Sera like this before. You knew her to be a confident person, resolute. But you wouldn't be thrown off by her behavior, holding your mouth shut and keeping a face of steel. 'It's just, you're a bit unlike other girls our age you know. As I said, for one, you're not addicted to your phone and stuff,' she said, smiling awkwardly and pausing again. Then she suddenly sighed. 'Uhg okay, I'mma just come out with it,' she said suddenly. Your heart felt like it stopped.

'Are you poly?'

'Wh-What?' you asked, blinking.

'You know, polyamourous. In more than one relationship. Like multiple boyfriends,' she pressed on, looking eager now. You scanned her face. This was what she had known, what she had been asking about, hinting at, fishing for. It hadn't been about you, or your divinity, nor the boys or their powers. This was all.

You suddenly started to laugh, unable to help yourself. The apprehension, caution, and fear instantly slipped away from you. She could be trusted. It was safe. You knew. Your Goddess knew.

Sera looked at you uncomfortably, probably slightly startled by your burst of laughter and still waiting anxiously for you to respond.

'I'm sorry,' you chuckled, seeing her stressed face, 'I know what it means, it was just really unexpected that you asked,' you began.

'I'm so sorry,' Sera said quickly. 'I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, it's just, people and relationships really interest me and I might've watched just one too many dramas and-,' she rattled but you quickly cut her off.

'No Sera, it's fine,' you said as you stopped chuckling and gave her a reassuring smile. You were sure you could tell her. You could see her light now. See it was dim like the other humans, but pure and safe. 'Yes. Yes, you're right,' you answered her question.

Sera looked at you with big eyes and slowly a smug smile appeared on her face.

'I knew it! I swear I fucking knew it. Adam wouldn't listen to me. I mean he doesn't know, I didn't tell him, I was just fishing for information, but that boy can't take a hint,' she said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. 'But ever since I saw you with Mr. Hwang and then when you left with the other guy at that birthday party,' she said, giving you a meaningful look that told you she had known what you and Minho had been up to back then, 'and then the others. I mean I swear every single time was coincidental okay. It's not like I'm some weird creep who's spying on you, but it just turned out that way, honestly. I wasn't sure if I should say anything because you weren't saying anything and-' Sera babbled on. Clearly, she was completely in her element.

'Well, it is kind of an awkward topic to talk about I guess,' you said truthfully. She instantly shut her mouth and looked at you.

'Oh shit, sorry. You want me to shut up?' she asked quickly. You shook your head smiling.

'Nah, it's fine. Actually, I think it would be nice finally being able to talk to someone about it, to be honest,' you said truthfully.

'Oh thank god, good. Okay,' she said, bending over to you eagerly, 'gimme all the deets.'

'Well, erm, I don't know where to start,' you said, frowning, thinking.

'Okay, so I figured it's at least four or something right?' she said eagerly.

'Erm, eight actually,' you admitted.

'EIGHT?' she exclaimed loudly, her eyes growing big. You kicked her under the table.

'Shut it!' you hissed but giggled, 'I mean I'm fine with you knowing but I don't need the whole school to know.'

'Right, right, right, sorry,' she said, rubbing her painful shin but still looking eager. 'So I guess that means it's all of your roommates then, isn't it?' she asked. You nodded. Sera mouthed a silent "Wow".

'But eight? Really? Isn't that like,' she raised her eyebrows meaningfully and continued in a whisper, 'a lot of work.' You felt yourself blush and she wiggled her eyebrows, leaning back in her seat, your change of color apparently giving her enough of an answer.

'You know, good for you,' she said, putting her hand up in an okay sign and looking smug. 'I mean I can't even deal with one knucklehead now and then, but eight… Pfft kudos to you,' she chuckled.

'Don't you… find it weird?' you asked, feeling awkward yourself now as well. Sera raised her brows and this time it was her turn to laugh at your question.

'Honey, you're asking an adopted pansexual girl with an interracial lesbian immigrant couple as parents. Nothing is weird to me,' she shrugged.

It was hard to believe she really didn't think it was weird, but she seemed to be more curious than judgemental regarding the situation.

The rest of the break she spent bombarding you with eager questions about your relationship with the boys and the dynamics in the house.

By the time the bell rang for your next class, Sera wasn't done asking questions yet.

'I really have to go to class now,' you laughed as you saw Sera racking her brain for another question she could ask quickly before you'd go. Sera pouted.

'You know you can always text me, right?' you chuckled as you got up from your seat and gathered your belongings.

'It's not like you'd answer anyways,' Sera said sticking her tongue out at you playfully. You laughed and were just about to turn around when she grabbed your arm.

'Wait!' She said quickly, sounding eager.

'Wha-hat? I have to goooo,' you said impatiently as many others were leaving.

'Let's go on a double date!' Sera suggested enthusiastically.

'I-what?' you said, taken aback by her question.

'A double date. Or, wait, what do you call it when it's with multiple people? Okay never mind,' she said quickly when she saw your face. 'But please, let's do it. I swear it'll be fun! We can get to know each other, make friends,' she suggested. When she saw your doubtful face she continued. 'Come on, I bet you've never been able to go somewhere on a date with all of them. I promise we'll pick somewhere busy, that way you won't stand out too much.'

You hesitated. You had been to places with all of them, of course. But never really on a date…

'We could do the funfair! It's always super crowded and no one will notice, trust me. The weekend after next? Saturday at eight. We'll meet you at the entrance.'

Before you could object, Sera grabbed your hand and shook it before running off with the leaving masses, leaving you behind slightly bewildered.

You blinked a few times and then chuckled. Sera was unlike anyone you had ever met. But it was nice having a human friend with whom you could be more open and trusting. It'd be nice to feel normal for a bit.

Minho was already standing by the car, waiting to take you home from school. Seeing him from a distance made your heart pound faster. Not just because he always looked so dashing in his brown suit, gray hair, and glasses, but because you were a little scared. He had been sweet to you this morning like he always was, but you had failed him as a goddess. You know how much he treasured you and knew how much you being his goddess meant to him, and you were scared he'd be mad at you for what you had done, or more so the lack thereof. You also knew how much Han meant to him and what it would do to him to see Han so sickly. With all of these thoughts swirling in your head, you took a deep breath and walked up to him.

You were slightly surprised to see that the dark circles around his eyes seemed to have almost disappeared. He looked healthier somehow, even though he'd had a long day of working.

'Hi Lino,' you said with a small voice as you approached him. He gave you a smile and a curt nod, holding the door open for you as you got into the car, but he didn't say anything.

During most of the drive, he was silent, and your heart started to sink again, lower and lower with every silent minute that passed by.

You were just about to say something, anything to break the silence. An apology or any words that could comfort him, tell him you were sorry and would never forgive yourself for what you had done when he suddenly spoke.

'It's not your fault you know,' he said suddenly and softly. You looked over at him somewhat startled. This was the last thing you expected him to say.

'I-what?' you said, feeling dumbstruck.

'You know it's not your fault right?' Minho repeated. 'None of us could've ever seen this coming,' he elaborated. You were silent for a second.

'But it is my fault,' you whispered, looking down at your lap, your heart sinking once more. Minho clicked his tongue.

'If you really wanna blame yourself, go ahead, but know that we don't,' he said simply. 'Honestly, we blame ourselves for not realizing what a mess we are without you,' he added softly. You weren't sure how to respond. You felt quite sheepish, staring out of the window, looking at the streets you passed by. 'We should've known we can't be without you anymore... And we should've called you to come back,' he said, then suddenly he clicked his tongue angrily, smacking his hands irritably against the steering wheel. 'I should've never listened to him!' He said with a sudden intensity, his eyes straight on the road. 'I begged him to call you, but he wouldn't let me. I could barely convince him to let Felix check him out. I don't know how Felix managed to convince him to let Hyunjin check on him as well…' Minho said, grabbing the steering wheel hard until his knuckles went white. You looked at him in shock. You couldn't remember if you had ever seen him so angry. 'He should've just let me call you,' he repeated with clenched teeth. 'It would've never gotten as far as it had. I know he's fine now, but he looked like dog shit,' he grumbled. His anger seemed to die down and he sighed, putting on his blinker and taking a right turn.

You were surprised with Minho's anger, which seemed to be directed at himself. This was not what you expected. You suddenly realized that the look on his face was nothing but a mirror of your own feelings; disappointment, annoyance, and anger, all directed at himself. You wanted to help him, to comfort him, but how could you, as you had no way of stopping yourself from feeling the same way.

'He's doing better now?' you repeated with a small voice, a lame attempt at making him feel better even though you barely did.

'Yeah, he is,' Minho said with a nod. He sounded calm again. You could see him straightening his shoulders and letting out a quiet sigh, as if to breathe out his feelings, before he started speaking again. 'He called me during the break and he seems to be back to normal again,' he said.

'He called you?' you asked, feeling hurt that Han hadn't contacted you in any way.

'Yeah, video call. He looked quite normal again, so don't worry about it, okay? It really wasn't your fault,' Minho said once more. But his words simply made you feel shittier. The fact that Han hadn't contacted you broke your heart. Was he angry with you? But Minho said they didn't blame you, even though you did yourself. Why hadn't he called you? Why?

'Han?' You knocked on his door softly, but there was no response. You knocked again, calling louder this time. Still, no response. You sighed, withdrawing your hand from the door and turning around. But just when you were about to take another step, you changed your mind. You knew Han was in there. You were sure. And according to all the other guys, he was doing fine now, almost like nothing ever happened. And Minho had assured you he wasn't mad at you, although you were mad at yourself. But you knew your heart would not be at ease until you saw him.

You turned around to face the door again. Maybe he was asleep. Maybe that's why he hadn't answered. You could imagine he hadn't slept too well for several days and now that he was better, it might've finally caught up to him.

You weren't one to go into other's rooms if they weren't there. You never really snooped, nor entered without their permission. But this time you didn't care. You had to see him for yourself. You had to be sure he was doing alright.

Slowly and quietly you turned the handle, opening the door to peek inside.

Han was sitting on his bed, his back turned to you as he seemed to be staring out of the window.

'Hannie?' you said his name softly, scared to startle him. He turned his head towards your voice but stopped halfway, showing he was listening but not responding, nor looking at you.

You bit your lip and walked over to him, but as soon as you got close to him he turned his face away from you. You stopped in your tracks, hesitating for a moment. No, you need to talk to him. Pushing through your anxiety you went to sit next to him on the bed.

'Hannie?' you said, repeating his name in a steadier voice this time. He still didn't look at you. You needed to make contact. You could feel your inner Goddess, like she was tapping you on the shoulder, asking you to give her space. You took a deep breath, in and out, and opened your mind.

Although his light shone bright, there was a certain dimness to it. Carefully, you took his hand into yours, caressing it with your thumb.

'I am sorry, Hannie,' you spoke softly, 'for letting you down. For not being there, and not doing my duty properly as your goddess.'

Finally, he turned his face to yours. His green eyes looked at you incredulously.

'How could you say such a thing?' he whispered, shaking his head and frowning. He grabbed the hand that you had used to stroke his tightly with both of his hands. 'Don't you ever say that again,' he said almost angrily. 'Don't you know how it hurts us when you are hurting?' he spoke.

You gave him a sad smile, squeezing his hands for a moment. As Minho had said, he hadn't blamed you for a second.

Suddenly he let go of your hands and turned his face away from yours again.

'It's me…' he whispered suddenly. 'I am the problem… I am… weak.' He said the words painfully, clearly disgusted with himself. It broke your heart. Tears welled up in your eyes.

'Don't you ever say that again,' you repeated his words back to him, your voice trembling with the pain you felt for him.

Han simply huffed, his eyes still locked on the floor. 'You know it's true y/n,' he said bitterly. 'I am weak. I was the only one who got sick, the only one affected so ridiculously. None of the other boys were even close to… my state of being,'

'But they were all sick,' you stopped him before he could continue. 'They told me none of them were feeling right. Everyone was unwell in their own way. Maybe you just didn't see because-'

'-Because I was the sickest of them all?' Han interrupted you. He scoffed. 'Yeah, like I said, none of them were close to being as "lovesick" as I was. Clearly, I am the weakest of the bunch,' he said angrily. 'I mean, I guess I've always known it. I mean look at them, look at their cool powers. Lino being time itself, Chan taking care of souls, Seungmin making this planet liveable, Hyunjin making life worth living. I mean I could go on, but it's clear all their powers are way cooler and way more important than mine. I mean what do I do? I talk to plants. So what? Big deal. Nothing cool or sexy about it. I should just-'

'Han Jisung!' You said his name so loudly and suddenly that he jumped. He instantly turned his head to face you once more, looking at you with big watery green eyes. You had never used his first name with him. From day one he had always been "Han" by his own request or "Hannie" since it sounded like the pet name "Honey" which he enjoyed. 'I won't allow you to talk about yourself like that,' you said sternly. Han simply scowled and was about to look away again when you grabbed both of his hands tightly and continued talking.

'You are everything,' you said to him slowly in a lowered voice, the words now coming from your heart. A small crease appeared between his brows and you continued. 'You are every breath we inhale and exhale. You are the light that keeps us warm and the shade that shelters us. You are the water we drink and the blue skies that we see. You are life,' you said insistently and seriously. You could see Han's jaw tightening, a habit he adopted from Chan. 'You are all of the others, as they are you. And without you, they wouldn't and couldn't be.' Your voice almost turned into a whisper and you paused for a second. You knew he was listening. Not just him, but his aethereal self. You could see how his light responded to your words. But his pained expression and self-doubt weren't gone yet.

'Without you, I wouldn't be,' you whispered to him, softly squeezing his hands. His face started to relax somewhat now. The painful knot in your chest that seemed to mirror his own lessened, even though your watery eyes weren’t dry just yet.

'Hannie,' you said his name once more, his sweet name that you loved to speak so much. His lips quivered for a moment. 'I can still remember back when I wasn't aware yet… The first time I saw your gift…' you said, the words suddenly feeling so emotional that they were hard to speak. 'I remember seeing you, just through the crack of the door, seeing you make that beautiful flower bloom,' you pointed over your shoulder at the plant on his drawers next to the door. 'It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,' you whispered as a tear rolled down your face. Han looked at you, his brows slightly raised now, as his eyes were filling with tears too.

'You give life, Hannie,' you said, letting go of his hands and catching a tear on his cheek with your pinky finger. 'How can you forget that?'

'I-I haven't, I just-,' Han stammered as more tears fell from his face.

'You don't have to be cool or sexy. You don't have to be strong either,' you added. 'You just have to be you. You have to remember who you are, what you are. Don't let those human emotions get in your way of knowing how special you are,' you said, shaking your head.

Han nodded in response. The tears that were falling from his face seemed to contain the darkness that was covering his light. You looked into him, seeing his light shining brighter than ever as he softly smiled at you. You smiled back at him and sighed deeply. Your goddess retreated into the shadows once more, knowing that the job was done. You lean over to him, putting your forehead against his, noses aligned and touching. You felt yourself breathing in his scent, and the tears in your eyes finally seemed to dry.

'I've been such a fool, my love,' Han whispered. You smiled softly, your heads still touching. 'I let envy and frustration overtake me. You're right. I guess I forgot who I was there for a moment.'

You slowly withdrew your face from his, smiling at him and seeing him smile at you.

'It's okay Hannie, that's what I'm here for,' you said kindly to him.

'I know, but still, I was acting a little dramatic I guess,' Han said with a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. 'Having a human part of us sometimes is a little-' he spoke, but suddenly stopped. He turned his head away from you, looked at the door, and frowned. He blinked a few times, then turned his head again, looking at the wall that was separating his room from Minho's. Han raised an eyebrow.

'Han? What is happening?' You asked, feeling apprehensive. Han put up a hand to silence you as he stared at the wall for another second before he looked down at the floor. He scoffed for a moment and then suddenly started laughing.

'Han what-?' you asked again, getting kind of concerned now. But he wasn't listening.

'No way,' he whispered to himself, getting up from the bed, and, for a moment, totally seeming to forget you. He walked a few paces, still looking down, before stopping again and chuckling once more. 'No way!' he laughed before looking at you again with a wide grin.

Startled by his unexpected reaction, you pulled at your goddess for help, but you instantly felt that it would be no use as if you had used up all of your credits for the day. You got up too now.

'Han, what-?' you repeated taking a few steps before it suddenly dawned on you. Han still didn't respond but simply grinned at you. 'Oh,' you breathed. Han simply nodded, understanding that you understood.

WRITERS NOTE

Thank you all so much for your continuous support. I understand that you had to wait for a long time but I simply have too little time to write. 

I try my best to write when I can, and your encouragement, kind words, and fun reactions really make me happy<3

However, I'd like to ask some of you to please understand that rushing or pushing me won't make things go faster and will only make me feel bad :(

I have been working on this series for over two years already, and I am currently working on Chapter 50 (!).

Although I really do love this story, it has been quite difficult, tiring, and time-consuming work (for me as well as for my lovely editors) at some times. I love writing a lot and I post this story for free on multiple platforms because I want everyone to be able to enjoy reading this for free as I too know all too well what it's like to have no money to spare for your hobby or favorite artist (life is expensive ya'll, I know that)

So please, if you enjoy my story, give it a vote or a nice comment, and trust that I will come back with a new chapter for you to love, even though it might take longer than you'd like (trust me, it takes me longer than I would like as well). 

Please remember, that creativity cannot be forced or rushed.

Once again, thank you all so much for all the love, votes and comments, and trust that I will be back with more. I appreciate every single one of you <3

Lots of Love

Dolly