#i love being ON T but i hate the chore of injections

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

Still Hurts

Pairing: Dean x Reader/Jensen x reader

Warnings: Death (noncharacter), Depression, sadness galore, some fluffy Dean, fluff ending, bible scriptures at the end depends on Faith. I am of Christian faith, and spiritual, and have added 2 scriptures to help with grief.

Summary: The reader is in the world of Supernatural, but things at home are still going on. It makes things hard.

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a/n: My grandma passed away today, of all days Friday the 13th. We knew it was coming, she started going down hill 4 days ago, did good yesterday, was somewhat coherent. But today, she didn’t do good and passed sometime this afternoon. I felt numb pretty much all day, cried off and on. Slowly I’ve come out of the hole to write something mostly for me, but it can be for whoever would need it. Just with the fact, we knew it was coming, makes the pain not any better. Still hurts.

a/n #2: This, this storyline is going to be a little messy but, it’ll be a mix of my Down the Rabbit Hole series and another series that hasn’t even surfaced yet, it’s still in the daydreaming slash brainstorming stages in my brain. But It may be Dean, or it may be Jensen, I haven’t decided yet. Not fully anyway.

~

Still hard to believe, despite being in this mess my phone even works here.

Mom always kept me in the loop, same for Dad, about my grandma. My mom’s mom. I damn near lost myself after my last grandma died. It still hurts now, but not as bad when it’s fresh.

But this, we’ve known it was going to come sooner or later. She wasn’t doing good; she started the early stages of dying a few days ago. Her heart doing weird things. I was waiting for it then.

It never came.

Next day she’s fine. She’s talking, sort of. She’s somewhat awake. She was okay yesterday.

This morning my dad texts me.

‘Grandma’s not doing good today, they’re expecting soon. But I’ll let you know.’

So, while Dean was out, doing a supply run. Sam finding Chuck. Or should I say, Jensen was out on the supply run and Jared was searching for Chuck.

We had just finished up in Alaska, now we’re just trying to keep busy. Slow Chuck down.

I decided to do house chores. Keep busy, keep my mind at bay.

“Jared, I’m gonna do laundry, need anything washed?” I asked.

“Hmm?” he asked, coming out of a haze from searching. “Oh, uh, sure. I have a hamper; it should be ready.” He says. Getting back to searching, waving me off.

I nod.

My Supernatural phone buzzes. It’s Jensen, screen comes up as Dean. Texting me.

‘Need anything from me?” he asks.

‘That time of the month has passed, I’m good. When it gets closer I’ll do it. I don’t want to do that to you.’

‘You can’t plan ahead on what we’ll be doing. Just send me a pic of what you use, I’ll pick you up a few packs.”

‘Um, sure. Hang on.’ I send, as I head to the bathroom. Shooting a picture of my package of pads and sending it to him.

‘Don’t get lost Priestly.’ I send with a smile.

‘Oh, harty har, har, you think you’re so funny. Dee does that all the time to me when I offer her the same thing.’ He texts. Sending a few laughing emojis.

‘Okay, be home soon. I got food for supper if your up for it.’ he sends.

‘Wonder what it could be?’ I text him. Already curious about food.

Since being thrusted into this whole shit show. My ex friend, somehow turned into a mad scientist was able to break the realities. Make dimensions, portals to them. He made Supernatural real somehow. There was a period for 13 seasons the boys blamed me for created it. Because fan fictions, anime shows would be mixed in with the stories. Make their own episodes of them. They hated me, didn’t trust me. Until I couldn’t take it anymore, when we gone through episode Advanced Thanatology, instead of Dean injecting himself. I just yanked the needle out of his hand and killed myself. After that, things got better but it still feels forced. Then again, I could be miss reading it, as always.

But since that day, Jensen’s been strangely nice, Jared…he tries but Jensen’s seeming like he’s forcing himself.

I get the clothes loaded in the washer; I clean the bathrooms. I clean our rooms, make our beds and such. Dust.

Then my other phone vibrates. I’m getting a call. It’s my dad.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” I asked. Knowing deep down in my gut somethings wrong. He never calls, moments in this show when shit hits the fan back home he’d usually text me.

“Grandma passed away just an hour ago. I just got done telling my boss, I’m on my way home. I know you’re still in there with those guys. But, don’t tell them. Chances are they’ll just hurt you. I still don’t trust them.” He says.

“She’s gone.” I said, my chest feeling heavy. My eyes feeling the heavy, hot tears surface.

“Yes, sweetheart she’s gone. She’s no longer suffering.” He says. “That’s all that matters. She’s up there with grandpa, she’s not suffering. We’ve known it was going to happen.” He adds.

“Yeah, but…it hurts.” I said. Sobs are now wanting to break me.

“Y/N, you need to try to hold together until you can get into your room. I would kill to be there to hold you, mom too. But, we can’t. We’re here, dealing with it. But you deal over there, just put yourself back together, come home. In one peace, try not to kill yourself again. I know it hurts. But once your home, we can help you heal too.” He says.

“Thanks dad. I’ll try.” I said.

And I hang up after we said our goodbyes.

Everything’s clean enough. I thought.

I’ll keep doing laundry. It keeps me away from the boys; besides, I have all their clothes. I’ll fold, put away, and then hide and break down. I thought out my plan. That’s what I’ll do.

Point of view switch [3rd person]

Jensen walked in with the groceries, all in each arm, making it in one trip. Jared meeting him in the kitchen.

“So, what’s for supper?” He asked.

“Y/N found this recipe of her mom’s; I want to try it. Grown up Mac and Cheese. I just had to buy the pasta, she got everything else last week.” Jensen explained.

“Sounds yummy, she’s doing the laundry.” Jared said.

“Cool. I’ll give her, her stuff and she can get cooking.” Jensen says.

He makes his way down the winding halls, no sign of her in Jared’s room, but there’s signs she was there. His clothes were neatly folded on his bed.

He checks his room, same deal. Neatly folded clothes on his bed.

He heads to the laundry room, she’s not in there.

“Well, where the hell?” he asks himself. Maybe her room. He thought.

He gets to her door, but stops himself from knocking when he hears crying behind the door.

“Hey,” he says gently. “Hey, Y/N,” he says again with a knock. And slowly opens her door.

“Not now.” She says, her voice shaking from the crying.

“Sweetheart, what’s got you crying?” he asks kindly.

“What do you care, leave me alone.” she cries.

“Y/N –”

“I said get out!” she shouts, throwing a pillow at her door. Making Jensen shut it.

Jensen stood there, baffled by her outburst. And heads to the kitchen.

“Dude, what’d you say to her?” Jensen asks.

“What?” Jared asks. “Nothing, why?” he asks him.

“I went to her room, found her crying. She threw a pillow at me to leave. I don’t know why she’s crying.” Jensen explains.

Jared shrugs. Clearly, he didn’t cause her pain.

Jensen’s personal phone buzzed. It’s his wife.

“Hey baby.” Jensen answers.

“Jay, her little brother just reached out to us. Her grandma passed. She’s hurting. And her parent’s don’t trust you guys. They think you’ll still hurt her.” Danneel explained to her husband.

“Probably after treating their daughter like shit for 13 seasons, driving her to the point to kill herself, I don’t blame them. But, we’re trying. Or I thought we were. Guess we’re not trying hard enough.” Jensen says.

“Hey, don’t talk like that. You just need to keep assuring her. It’s her you’re trying to regain that trust. Just, try again. Either wait for the crying to stop, or just, do something you would do if your sister was hurting. Or your own daughter. Just, I hate seeing her like this Jay, maybe you guys cook that dinner for her.” Danneel says.

“We’ll think of something baby. Love you.” Jensen tells his wife.

“Love you more. Now go cheer our girl up.” She says. Ending the call.

“What’s the plan?” Jared asked.

“Well, the recipe is right there on the island. I guess, start cooking. I’ll go try to piece her back together if I can.” Jensen says.

“Don’t push too hard.” Jared advises.

“I know man.” Jensen says.

He makes it back down to her room. Hearing it’s silent behind the door he knocks.

“Hey, sweetheart, you okay in here?” he asks.

“Go away.” She says weakly.

Her light was on, she was curled into a ball in the center of her bed. The pillows surrounding her, minus the one she threw earlier.

“No can do sweetie, my wife and your little brother want us to take care of you. And besides, we hate seeing you hurting.” He says.

“I don’t trust you, now leave.” She says. Her voice cracking.

“Um, something tells me, you really don’t feel that way.” Jensen says. “But it’s okay to protect yourself from anymore harm. Whether it’s physical or emotional. But I promise you, I’m not here to cause any more pain. I’m here to put you back together.” He adds.

He hears her let out a sigh. Defeated. He takes that as his cue to enter fully, and take a place on the edge of her bed. Her head, near his lap.

“Your little brother contacted my wife somehow, told us what happened. Loss is never easy.” He says.

Seeing her face distort again with pain, she starts crying again.

“We knew it was coming.” She sobbed. As she hid her face in her hands. Letting some sobs rack through her, she sits up. Taking a deep breath.

“We,” she starts again, trying to breathe. “We’ve known for a little while. I mean, she’d have good days, bad days. But one day, she…she…” a sob began to surface.

Jensen placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, rubbing up and down her arm. “Shh, it’s okay.” He says quietly.

“She got worse; her heart started doing something. She was dying, but then the next day she was fine, and she was okay. Same for the day after that. Then today, dad tells me she’s not doing good. And not, two…three hours later, she’s gone.” She explained.

“At least she’s at peace, she’s not suffering anymore. That’s all that matters.” Jensen says, his hand not leaving.

“I know. But just because we’ve known, doesn’t mean it makes the pain that much easier.” She cries.

“I know it doesn’t. It just means you love her. But you have to remember her as she was when you last saw her, remember her at her best. Don’t think about the bad, the depressing stuff that’s happened along the way. Think about the good times you had with her.” Jensen said.

“God, it’s like that episode Cas has with Jack. About appreciating the time we all have together now. And that the pain, is…is because I love them. And the pain is awful, but it’s also living. But…” she began to trail as sobs racked her again.

“Don’t…please, don’t finish that sentence.” Jensen says. Tears of his own surfacing.

He doesn’t like seeing this. People crying over loss, losses so close to home. Especially people he cares about.

“I know it hurts; I can’t imagine how much it hurts right now. But you can’t give up, you can’t stop fighting now. You have to keep going. Do it for her. Do it for you. Take a knee sweetheart, you need to heal. And this kind of pain, it doesn’t have a set day of when it’ll go away. But it does get better. Once your better, let us know. And we’ll get back to hunting again, because the faster we get this done, the faster we get home. But for right now. Our focus is you.” Jensen explains. Giving her a kind smile.

She returns it, forcing it some. She casts her gaze down as some more tears escape.

‘C’mere.” Jensen says, bring her in his arms. Hugging her, holding her tight. Her face in the crook of his neck. It’s only then her walls come tumbling down fully.

“Let it out sweetheart, let that hurt out. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. Just cry it out.” He tells her softly in her ear. He can feel her tears hit his neck the longer she cried.

It was a good long while she cried in his arms. He just started rocking her gently in his arms.

“There she is.” He says, seeing her peer up from his shoulder.

He takes his finger, gently wiping a finger across her cheeks, catching any stray tears that fall. “Feeling any better?” he asks.

“Just numb, and drained. Not sure if I can eat now.” She says.

“Well, you haven’t had anything all day. At least try a few bites.” Jensen encourages. She nods. “Atta girl.” He says.

“Knock, knock.” Jared says entering her room with bowls of her mom’s mac and cheese.

“You made this, I thought I was…” she trails.

“You were dealing with your own issues, wanted to help out a bit. Plus, I already tried some. This shits good.” Jared says.

“Is that why you only brought in two bowls?” Jensen asks.

“Yep.” Jared says shamelessly with a big grin.

Jared handed Y/N her bowl, and Jensen his. The smell from the bowl caused her stomach to growl.

“Sounds like your starving, eat up.” Jared says, leaving the room.

“At least try, could always snack on something.” Jensen says.

“I am starving, I’m not numb to that. Just, it’s like my light is gone. I mean, yeah Jared did make me giggle there a few seconds ago. But it’s like…” she trails.

“Need a recharge?” Jensen asks.

“Yeah. I feel so drained. And I’m running on empty. Things that’ll make me laugh is a 50/50 shot now, if I do laugh, it will only feel good for that split moment. Afterwards, I’ll feel shitty again. I don’t want to feel shitty.” She says.

“Then, what do we do? What’s the Winchester way?” Jensen asks with a knowing smirk.

“Always keep fighting.” She says with a tired smile.

“There you go.” He says to her, kissing her forehead. “Now, lets eat, I’m starving.” He says getting up to the kitchen. Y/N following suit.

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Matthew 5:4

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

~

Dean/Jensen tags:

@luci-in-trenchcoats, @supernatural-jackles, @becs-bunker, @mlovesstories, @winchesters-favorite-girl

~

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[kurtty-drabbles]

Protect au(It is over)

N/A: Yes, it is over!

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling

The danger room sure prepare Nightcrawler and Shadowcat to almost any situations and as they face the two odd individuals they silent have to thank the Danger Room as each session really help them to prepare. Nightcrawler´s back meet Shadowcat´s back as they watch their foes.

Kitty ponders the situation looking at Amanda that currently hovers in the air boasting about anything that Kitty is honestly not caring as Kurt is paying attention to Stefan as the man is proclaiming his undying hate for Kurt.

"Katzchen?" Kurt asked and the girl only grab his hand to indicates she is listening "let´s do as the team laser group, alright?" Kurt asked nicely and Kitty knows what this means.

"Ok, when I count 3. 1, 2 and 3" in the 3 Kitty Pryde phases through the ground and making Stefan´s leg be stuck as the girl phases back in.

____________________________

Kurt charges at Amanda who is hover in the air with the amulent laughing in joy as Kurt can´t reach to her. Kurt is getting tired of this game, but as Amanda continues to brag about her new power, Kurt noticed that said power only work if she is holding the amulet with her hands.

(in one second as she let the amulet rest the girl was slowly coming to the ground until Amanda quickly grab the amulet)

"Is over, Kurt, I´m the most powerful entity in the world, Belasco himself cower to my mere name," Amanda said and Kurt has no idea who is Belasco, yet, the boy is sure that her words are not true.

Suddenly, Kurt knows that he won´t need his sword today.

"Wait? You are more powerful than Belasco? How? He is Belasco!" Kurt is edging her to speak as Amanda fuming that someone, as she kindly labels, low life,  is not taking her word. Belasco is nothing against her.

"Sorry, is hard to hear you from here, come here and say how powerful you are, I mean, I feel enlight to know that I once served the great Szardos and I want to know how powerful they are" Kurt easily lied as Amanda let go of the amulet with an arrogant smile as she is on the ground speaking how powerful she is and how Kurt lives to serve her and only her.

Kurt then port the amulet away from her hand(not feeling guilty that the girl in question scream in pain) as the amulet is in his hand, Kurt understands nothing of magic but the amulet seems a bit familiar. No, maybe is because the amulet is far too ordinary and it creates the illusion you have seen before.

Amanda tries to attack by saying magic words but nothing happens and Kurt is spare of having to hit on a girl as his big sister did that, one punch with her glove hand knock Amanda out in no time.

_____________________________

Stephan´s attack is basically this strange red light/spell that Kitty can easily phase though, the girl also noticed the man has bad aim and a loose temper which makes her happy that there are no civilians here.

"I´m Stefan, the son of Margalia Szardos, the rightful heir of her realm, you dare to protect Nightcrawler? The murder?" Stefan speaks completely losing his mind and Kitty can use that to her advantage. Stefan´s legs are stuck on the ground and his magic seems to be focused on attacking Kitty than protecting himself.

The girl phases through the ground a second time and pulling his legs even further in the ground, the woman (thanks to a Dr MCcoy´s class) knows how to break someone´s leg(not permanently) as the man is not focused on the pain than attacking.

Kitty phases through the ground in time to see Jean Grey lifting the man easily.

"Kitty, Are you alright?" Jean asked as Scott and the others inform that all the others students and teachers are gone and Professor X is coming to help.

Kitty now looks at the elf who is talking to his sister about what happened as Rogue has no problem in being a little rude to Amanda.

"What happened here?" Jean asked once she managed to put Stefan to sleep.

"I have no idea"

______________________________

Professor X has no answer for what happened. As Amanda only speaks as she is the most powerful mage in the world and how they should obey her, finally getting enough of this charade, Jean said she will resolve this as using her powers the older girl is inside Amanda´s mind.

The others watch as Jean made a disgusting face and as she looks away until she is finally back with the rest of the X-men.

"Stefan seems to be from another dimension"Jean speaks remembering certain things about Amanda that Kurt does not need to know ever " and inject the memories of his sister on this Amanda" the few that are aware of Amanda´s situation completely weird out as Jean refers Amanda as Stefan´s sister(Tabitha wasn´t hearing things after all) "and the man is insane as he wants to kill Kurt for no reason"

Jean thinks that Kurt does not need to know all the details. And Professor X seems to agree with this.

"What we do with Amanda?" Rogue asked as now looks at the awake Stefan "and with him?"

Stefan looks at his sister, his love, in the hands of the enemy and did what his mother told him. Protect Amanda at any coast. Screaming a Latin word Stefan is slowly vaping as Amanda is following along.

"What?" Rogue asked and everyone shares the sentiment.

_________________________

Time goes back to normal as Professor X creates a history for Amanda´s disappearance, turns out she did marry this random guy named Stefan (even Xavier is a bit disgusting) and her family cut ties with their only daughter because of that.

"Hey!" Kitty spot Kurt doing his chores and smiles at him as now that there´s no Amanda the two can talk about a certain incident.

"Hi!" Kurt said cleaning the windows using his tail.

"You did kiss me a few days ago and we never talk about it"

"Do you too see me as one of the girls?"

Kitty kissed him and replied

"I never wanted to kiss Jean or Jubilee" her forehead rests on his and it would be a tender moment until Logan shows up to say one thing only.

"Finally! now, just because you two together do not mean you are free of the chores" Kurt makes a salute and Kitty giggles as another day for the X-men continues as it should be.

____________________________

Margalia Szardos watches what happened to her beautiful children and is growing anger and anger by the minute. How dare Kurt to ruin her beautiful family? If she wants revenge...she needs to by herself.