The current Honkai Star Rail ghost hunting event is maybe the best one yet - I love hanging out with Sushang, Guinafen, and Huo Huo, the social media thing is hilarious (especially once you know which canon characters belong to which screen names - i.e., that Jing Yuan is on fake ghost hunting tiktok teasing Fu Xuan about how short she is, lol) (I may ship it, just a little), and the lore they're dropping is really interesting. In that way, I'm really happy with HSR's "permanent" event setup, that future players can get this content without the special rewards, because if this was a limited time event I'd definitely be unhappy about how much character stuff and lore would disappear.
But anyway, the biggest thing I've come away with so far is feeling a LOT of sympathy for Yanqing, and considering the folly of a civilization/government attempting to erase their own history. Like, here's a kid, he's a member of an effectively immortal species, but he's a teenager - either in actuality or in relative age to his centuries-old fellows. Yes, he's a swordplay savant and has earned a place as a military officer at his young age, but he's still stupidly young. He's the protege of the Arbiter General, the most powerful man on the Luofu, but Jing Yuan has clearly not told him anything more of what truly happened with the High Cloud Quintet than is public knowledge. And that public knowledge appears to be no more than "So, these 5 were heroes, until Imbibitor Lunae and his (boy)friend did something unspeakable with Vidyadhara magic and got themselves exiled permanently. Also we erased the entire identity of the greatest swordsperson in our history and pretend she doesn't exist, don't ask us why." And I'm sure that there are plenty of people who are either old enough to remember what actually happened, or have parents/grandparents who witnessed what happened, but Yanqing is not one of them.
So we have this teenaged kid, with a relatively high level military rank and an ego to match that his mentor has indulged up until now, and a strong sense of right and wrong. He sees what he believes to be a blind woman wandering through an active combat zone and offers to escort her to where she's going. Unfortunately for him, that woman is the aforementioned sword champion whose entire identity has been erased from history, so he has no idea that she's a) the person he high-key idolizes, b) his mentor's old mentor, and c) gone semi-batshit with mara and here to fuck shit up. So she kicks his ass and laughs at him, which is the perfect way to get under a teenager's skin, and leaves him humiliated.
And then Yanqing hears that one of the two most infamous exiled criminals in the Luofu's history, who had been caught coming back and imprisoned, has escaped and is once again running around free. So, he goes hunting, because it's the duty of a Cloud Knight to capture this criminal, and also it's maybe a way to redeem himself. But once again, he doesn't have the full information, which is that a) this criminal is nearly as good at the sword as the woman who just kicked his ass, because she brutally trained him, b) this criminal is even MORE batshit marastruck because he's a more short-lived human, which shouldn't even be possible, and c) oh yeah, Imbibitor Lunae is also here, hiding as a member of the Astral Express crew, so now he's gonna have to fight BOTH of the most infamous exiled criminals in Luofu history. But he refuses to back down, so that goes about as well as one might expect.
But Jing Yuan shows up! So the day will be saved, right? But Yanqing hasn't really thought about the fact that these two criminals were once Jing Yuan's best friends - which he probably knew in the abstract, because he knows that Jing Yuan is the last surviving non-exiled member of the High Cloud Quintet - but has had no reason to contemplate what that might mean until now. And, well, these are the worst criminals in his people's history, right? So Jing Yuan is here to back him up?
Wrong. His beloved mentor actually snaps at him to back off, and then lets them go.
I mean, no wonder this kid is messed up. No wonder he lets a heliobus get into his head with promises of making him better, stronger, more worthy of being a Cloud Knight. I'm so glad that something permanent, that every player can access, addresses the way he's feeling after all that. And I'm glad that Jing Yuan acknowledges that it's his fault, his failing as Yanqing's master for not properly preparing him for this eventuality, or helping him process it afterward. Not that Jing Yuan did anything wrong in his dealings with Blade and Dan Heng, but the man is constantly playing 5D chess with the entire universe and never lets anyone in on his thoughts, which is his primary failing. An understandable one, given his circumstances, but not one that particularly helps anyone around him deal with the fallout from his schemes.
So yes. I have more feels about Yanqing than I ever thought I would. Join me next time when I have almost the same amount of feels about Qingque and how actually good she is at being a diviner when she's not using her clearly stellar brain to figure out new ways to slack off, and how I hope she ends up being Fu Xuan's second in command and is forced to bitch about it for the next several hundred years.
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endless love!
[ID Two drawing collage pages of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. In the first collage, top corner, Wolfwood looks upwards disgruntled with a flushed expression, lying against a pillow, as his hair is being pet by Vash's hand. Next shows Vash and Wolfwood from behind, Wolfwood with his top bare and hickies covers around his nape area. Vash lifts hair away from his nape and asks, "More?" Wolfwood nervously says, "No." Next is a side profile of Vash, his arms around Wolfwood from behind while Wolfwood rests his hands against Vash's arms. Next to this are two smaller drawings; Vash turns to Wolfwood and says repetitively, "Wolfwood, Wolfwood..." Wolfwood, not looking at him, says "What?" He finally turns his head and looks shocked as he exclaims, "So close!" Vash says plainly, "You just noticed?" Below these is a drawing of Vash and Wolfwood sitting together as Vash kisses and hugs him from behind with his right arm around Wolfwood's neck and his left hand around his side. He also has his right leg propped against Wolfwood's knee. Bottom of the page has a comic. Wolfwood looks annoyed, speaking to himself, "Where is that idiot?! Need to get out of town before--" A chat bubble exclaims, "Wolfwood!" The next panel shows Vash running from the townspeople, small text saying "Get him! Vash the stampede!". Wolfwood, mad and about to pull the Punisher off his shoulder, says, "Argh, you fucking dumbass!" Vash exclaims, "Ah, don't!" before pulling Wolfwood into a quick kiss. He then tugs on Wolfwood's collar and says, "There's no need to shoot, just run!" Wolfwood stammers, "R-right..." with a flushed, dumbstruck expression.
Second collage; Top left, Wolfwood spoons Vash in bed, his arms around his chest and the other beneath Vash's head. Vash has his hand on top of Wolfwood's as he sleeps while Wolfwood lies awake. Behind this drawing is faint sketches of Vash's face. In a small panel, Wolfwood hides in Vash's neck as he mumbles to himself "Stop. Stop thinking embarrassing things, Wolfwood..." Beneath this drawing is another of them in bed, Vash now turned to Wolfwood and a hand on his cheek as he kisses him good morning. In a simpler style, Vash wraps an arm tightly around wolfwood with the text "snork mimimi" next to him while Wolfwood says, "We need to get up. Spikey! HEY!" In this corner, there are faint sketches of Vash and Wolfwood; one of them looking at each other; Vash kissing Wolfwood's forehead; Wolfwood saying, "Hand" with an outstretch hand and Vash says "ok" behind a drawing of them holding hands, both turned away from each other shyly. Next is a 4 panel comic. First shows Wolfwood's face getting squished by Vash's hands with the text "squish" around his face. Next, his cheeks are stretched with the text "Chee--" Wolfwood then hits Vash's face with his palm, exclaimining "That hurts!" The last shows Vash on Wolfwood's lap, smiling to himself as he continues to have Wolfwood's face in his hands. Next to this is another comic; A close up of their hands, Vash holding Wolfwood's with both of his. He then kisses the palm of Wolfwood's palm and says, "They're soft!" Wolfwood looks at him with flushed cheeks, "There's no way that's true..." END ID]
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Spring is here , the true beginning of the year , the season where my soul reborns and blooms .
I have made some progress in terms of the person I am becoming, truly in all my honesty all that i have done is to stop caring for everything that once used to matter , the less I care about anything in particular the less I am bothered and the happier i stay. And i really hope everyone here is doing well and I appreciate all the love that was sent.
The problem is I care a lot about everything and i don't even get the bare minimum in return and when i do get it it's too late, so much time has passed by then ,when it comes by then i do not want or need it because it's the not care that came out of love it came out of their guilts. And the longer i wait for it to come by -the more I learn why I don't need it anymore .
I am slowly learning to value myself ,trying to put myself in a position where I can agree that i too deserve all the good things and love even on the days when i have nothing to offer .
Idk guys I am just here to rant and to be stupid
Better late than never they say , I guess it's not too late for me either, I will start my life and live up to what I want & how I feel ,i don't have to care about anything else as long as I feel alive in my bones things will eventually flow, I will fall in love with myself little by little day after day.
I will choose myself instead of choosing others and I will fall in love with my solitude instead of bearing it with me , i don't care if I end up alone if I do end up all by myself I will be with someone who i know has a tendency not to give up .
Life is really short i just don't want to sit and watch it pass by , if I am lucky enough I will have 40 more springs to experience , I have clear boundaries and thoughts in my head now, eventually i will find peace through it I hope so.
Ramdan kareem to people who celebrate it here please remember gaza in your prayers and fastings
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