#i love how a whole third of these guys are loons

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

closeted | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: Jeon Jungkook doesn't like you and you don't like him. Your friends and his friends decide enough is enough and they lock you in a closet together to settle your differences. Mhm.

warnings: language; implied slut-shaming; alcohol consumption; fuckboy?Jungkook x (technically noona) fuckgirl?reader, ft all other BTS members being... helpful? lol; enemies-to-lovers

–

“Jeon Jungkook? I don’t really have any thoughts about him. Isn’t he kind of a fuckboy?”

“Oh, her? Ah, there’s nothing to say really. Doesn’t she like to mess around?”

Those were your opinions about each other, which was now why both you and Jeon Jungkook were stuck in a closet in Kim Taehyung’s parents’ house.

“Taehyung, let us out right now!”

“Not until you two stop hating each other!” announced the booming, baritone voice of Kim Taehyung on the other side of the door, slightly tipsy and yelling over the loud music.

“We don’t hate each other,” came the silvery growl behind you. Jungkook shoved you slightly to the side so he could slam his fist against the heavy wood. You scowled, jerking away from his touch. “Stop being stupid and open the door.” His short ponytail at the back of his head swayed as he tried to shoulder the door, only for you to hear more bodies press against it.

“Nuh uh, Jungkookie,” Park Jimin snickered, sounding drunker than Taehyung even though the two of them had probably consumed the same amount. “Can’t muscle pig your way outta this one.”

Taehyung and Jimin burst into giggles on the other side of the door as Jungkook fumed next to you, long black bangs flaring as he clicked his tongue and rolled the sleeves of his black sweatshirt up, eyes narrowed, jaw tense.

You threw up your hands as Jungkook backed up and ran into the door with a loud thunk!

Nothing except Jimin, Taehyung, and squeaky laughter adding to the mix.

“We don’t even talk to each other,” you muttered as Jungkook shook his head vigorously and prepared to rear up again like a stubborn horse.

“And that’s the problem!” Kim Seokjin tittered in between bursts of laughter. “We’re all friends, except the two of you that like to pretend the other one is a fucking tree rather than an actual person.”

Jungkook collided with the door again and the single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling flickered ominously.

“Who cares?” Jungkook roared, throwing his head back and pushing his hair away from his face with two hands. You rolled your eyes as he smacked the closet door.

“We do,” said a fourth, trying to be the voice of slurred reason. “In order for our shared friend group to have harmony, we two should work out your differences in a civil, dignified manner and discuss the root of your negative relationship.” You made a face and glanced at Jungkook, who made a similar confused expression. How much did Kim Namjoon drink? He sounded like a drunk philosopher.

“Locked in a closet is not civil, Namjoon,” you pointed out.

“Yeah, but it’s funnier,” Jung Hoseok laughed cheerfully, knocking on the door. “You two good in there? Not ripping off each other’s heads yet?”

“We don’t hate each other,” Jungkook repeated, giving up on fighting the door now that five people were holding it down. “I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“What’s the reason then?”

“Huh?” you shouted through the door. Jungkook rolled his eyes at you and you rolled your eyes back.

“What is,” Taehyung repeated, slower this time, emphasizing each syllable. “The reason that you guys are so hostile towards each other?”

“Did he eat some snacks you hid one time?” Seokjin piped up. “Because that would piss me off too.”

“That already pisses you off, hyung,” Jimin cut in. “You always bring it up.”

“Because he does it all the time! No matter where I hide them!”

“Your hiding places a pretty bad, hyung.”

“Namjoon! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Eh?”

“The side of reason and being right!”

“Hah…”

Jungkook clicked his tongue again and shoved his hands into his loose cotton pants. They were black and white striped and looked more like pajamas than actual pants. He hadn’t even bothered to get dressed to hang out with his friends. What a weirdo. You sighed, looking away, staring at the wall instead. Why look at Jeon Jungkook? Everyone looked at Jeon Jungkook. You didn’t need to add to that ego.

“Hey.”

“What?”

“Why are you wearing hyung’s shirt?”

You glared at him from your periphery. He was leaning against the wall, hunched over, glaring back.

“First of all, this is my shirt,” you snapped. “Second of all, they’re all your hyungs. Be more specific. And third of all, Yoongi only borrowed it because he said he was cold and this was one of the few things that fit him.”

Jungkook shoved his tongue into his cheek, looking at your black-on-black long-sleeved shirt with a moon tarot card design. He narrowed his dark eyes, giving you a piercing stare. You ran a hand through your hair, cocking your head away from him haughtily.

“Yeah, but you knew which hyung I was talking about.”

“Because only one of them has borrowed this shirt, idiot.”

“That’s not very nice,” Hoseok chided from the other side of the door. “No name calling in there!”

“You’re not very nice,” you retorted at the door, suddenly remembering that they were out there listening. In fact, one of the loons had turned down the music so the five of them could hear the exchange better. Mature of them.

“Why don’t you two say something you like about the other?” Namjoon suggested. “Compliments might help lessen the tension.”

Your eyes shifted to Jungkook’s clenched jaw, a vein popping on his neck. Yeah, okay. He noticed you looking and you jerked your head away, staring at the wall again.

“This is stupid. Why do we have to do this?” you complained.

“You look pretty good from the back.”

You flinched, irritation rising. Did he just–?

“For an older lady, that is.”

A muscle in your eye twitched. “Yeah, well, every guy says I look good from the rear view.”

“That’s not a compliment, Jungkook,” a deep, raspy voice from the bottom of the door.

Jungkook lifted himself off the wall, making a noise of surprise. “Yoongi-hyung? How long have you been there?”

“The whole time,” Jimin giggled. “He’s been pretending to be asleep.”

“I can’t sleep anyway,” Min Yoongi grumbled. “You guys are loud as fuck.”

“Nah, you just wanted to listen to the shitshow of these two,” Taehyung teased. There was the sound of a hand smacking of a shoulder and a disgruntled grunt at the bottom of the door.

Seokjin called your name loudly. “Yah! You haven’t said anything, backhanded or not!”

You grimaced and glanced at Jungkook again. He still looked surprised and, for a single second, you thought he looked pretty cute with his big round dark brown eyes and parted pink lips in an ‘o’. For a single second, he didn’t seem like that ‘hot guy’ that literally everyone, not just women, but men too, everyone was head-over-heels in love with, Jeon Jungkook, ‘hot guy’ with tattoos and a handsome face.

Blech.

You shifted your eyes away and stared at the corner. “I guess you might not have only one brain cell. Maybe you have two or three.”

“Ooh, nice, that’s a great one,” Jimin agreed behind the door. “Three is being generous, noona, well done.”

“Shut up, Jimin-ssi.”

Ugh, this shit was so dumb. And what kind of closet was this anyway? It was full of coats. A lot of them were more neutral colors, but there was the occasional muted jewel tone. Why did Taehyung’s family need this many coats and why was this closet on the upper floor? Some of them were neatly tucked in clear plastic covers. Oh. Probably to prevent them from getting moth holes, huh.

“Why do you hate me, anyway?” Jungkook muttered. “I’ve never done anything to you.”

“I don’t hate you. I just don’t like you,” you huffed.

“Why not? What did I do?” he sighed, reaching over and placing his hand on your shoulder.

You whipped your head around, narrowing your eyes. “Don’t touch me.”

He removed his hand, backing up with his hands in the air. “Whoa, okay, jeez. It’s just kind of hard to talk to you when your back is to me.”

“Hmph, why? Precious Jungkookie wants attention? Wants everyone to dote over him and love him?” you mocked in disgust, crossing your arms.

He twisted his lips. “… distracting, that’s all,” he mumbled.

“Hah?” You leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. “You forget how to talk?”

Jungkook looked away from you, frowning. “Sometimes, yeah. You’re kind of pretty.”

You blinked at him. What? You didn’t expect him to say that.

“In some lights, anyway.” He pointed up. “This one is pretty dim, like you.”

That was more like it. “Takes one to know one.”

His eyes shifted back to you. “What? A pretty person to spot pretty?”

You growled and scoffed, rolling your eyes. “See, this is why I can’t talk to you. You’re so full of yourself. All you ever do is think about is showing off how much better you are. How cool you are.”

“That’s because that’s all they ever talk about.”

You paused at his downcast tone. Your eyes drifted from the wall to his face. Jungkook wasn’t looking at you. His eyes were on the ground and he was rubbing the back of his head, frowning.

“I envy the way others talk about me. They always have such a perfect image pictured.” He inhaled deeply, slumping against the wall again. “It’s hard to live up to the picture everyone has of me in their head. Sometimes I don’t even want to try anymore so they give up and leave me alone.”

What?

His dark eyes shifted to you, half-shrouded by his long dark hair, tan skin glowing even in this dim closet light.

“I envy you,” he snapped, irritated edge to his voice. “I know you hear all that crazy shit they say about you, but you do whatever you want anyway. People call you a slut and you just invite all the hyungs over to your place and watch movies all night. People say you dress weird and you show up in big fur coats and wacky t-shirts and knee-high boots. People say you don’t know what you’re doing, but you can calculate your change faster than the cashier with the fucking computer.”

You gawked at him; jaw slightly slack. It took you a second to collect yourself. “It’s… not that hard. It’s basic math.”

“Hmph, yeah, well, I suck at math,” Jungkook muttered. “I’m not smart like Namjoon-hyung.”

“You’re good at a lot of things, Jungkook.”

“Like what?” he accused, putting you on the spot.

“Uh… you can draw. Namjoon draws like a five-year-old.”

Jungkook snorted. “Taehyung can draw.”

You raised an eyebrow. Honorifics, where? “Not realistically like you can. It’s a different style. Weirder.”

“I’m not weird,” Taehyung said through the door, voice half-muffled.

“Yeah, you are,” Jungkook replied without looking away from you.

“You’re kind of like an alien. In a good way,” Jimin added hastily.

“You’re kind of like an idiot,” Taehyung shot back.

Slapping sounds ensued outside the door.

Jungkook scratched his head, messing up his black hair. “I’m just saying I wish I was a little more like you sometimes.” He coughed. “Only sometimes.”

You ran a hand through your hair. “Well, I kind of wish I was like you sometimes,” you admitted, looking away from him. “I wish people would say nice things about me like they do for you. I wish people would praise me without reason. I wish people would fall in love with me like how they fall in love with you, without even knowing you.” You scoffed bitterly, flicking a hand carelessly. “Instead, they just play pretend and mess with my feelings because they think I’m easy.”

You left out a heavy sigh, weight off your chest. You hadn’t meant to say all that, but oh well. It was out there now.

So dumb.

“Then, when they find out I’m not, it’s my fault for some stupid reason. Like it’s my fault you painted this fake picture of me in your head.”

You felt something touch your outstretched hand. You jumped, seeing Jungkook’s right hand touching your fingertips, hand ink standing out against his flexed fingers. You almost pulled back. Almost. Then you caught the look in his eyes and stopped, mesmerized by the seriousness in his dark brown orbs.

“I meant it when I said you were pretty,” he whispered, barely audible.

Your eyes widened.

Your pulse raced through your veins.

“You… you said only in some lights,” you whispered back.

Jungkook lifted himself off the wall. One step. Two steps, towards you. You could have backed up. You could have slapped his hand away and yelled at Taehyung some more to let you out. Men were stupid. They ain’t shit. They play with your feelings and only want to use you. Dudes are just fuckboys.

Except Jungkook confirmed he wasn’t, just now.

And you confirmed you weren’t the female equivalent of a fuckboy – a fuckgirl?

For some reason, that made this different now.

This moment.

Jungkook looked down at you, tilting his head, brown eyes curious. You spread your fingers a little more and laced them with his, pressing your fingertips against the back of his hand as he pressed his against yours. You tilted your head the other way as he leaned down.

“I said you’re pretty in some lights,” he breathed. “You’re beautiful in all of them.”

He stopped just above your lips.

Pausing.

You lifted yourself up to close the gap, holding his hand tightly.

Mouth to mouth, resuscitating something that was almost dead because of misunderstandings and surface judgements, whispers and rumors clouding the truth, because everybody talks, everybody talks, everybody talks… too much.

For some reason, you expected Jungkook to smell musky or woodsy, something manly, but, in actuality, his cologne was light and sweet, barely there, like a fresh summer’s breeze. It was you that smelled more intense, your coffee and cream perfume mixing with his fruity scent, dominating a little, just like how you pressed harder into his soft lips, capturing them, surprised that was pleasant, almost sweet but with a hint of spice, the tip of his tongue teasingly brushing against your lips, and you drew back, narrowing your eyes at him.

He smiled a little, squeezing your hand lightly.

“That was nicer than I thought,” he murmured.

“You’re not that bad yourself,” you muttered, frowning a little at the heat rising in your cheeks.

“You guys still alive in there?” Yoongi asked gruffly from the ground, his voice drifting under the door.

“Did they kill each other? Should we open the door?” Seokjin wondered.

The doorknob began to turn.

Jungkook started and reached for the door.

You jumped and reached for the door.

A thin crack of light appeared.

Your hands intertwined, grabbing the doorknob and yanking it closed before it could fully open, both swiftly locking the door together with a firm click. The doorknob shook, confused noises on the other side of the wood.

Jungkook stared at you, brown eyes wide. “I… I just… thought we were getting somewhere,” he whispered under his breath.

You scratched your cheek with your free hand. “Yeah… we were getting somewhere... with this.”

The doorknob rattled violently.

“Excuse me, you two?” Taehyung shouted through the door. “Why the fuck is the door locked?”

“Uh…” you started.

“It’s jammed,” Jungkook shouted back.

“Nope, it’s definitely locked. I heard it,” Yoongi said from the floor.

“That bastard,” Jungkook hissed quietly, stepping closer to you.

“Why is it locked?” Jimin accused, sounding peeved. “Hmm? You two doing some naughty stuff?”

“Scandalous,” Seokjin and Hoseok gasped in unison.

Jungkook glanced at you and you shrugged, mouthing, maybe? He mouthed back, I thought you weren’t easy. You chuckled, speaking softly to his chin.

“We already spent all that time being hostile to each other.”

“So, you admit to the hostility.”

“Sure, if it helps your delicate baby brain sleep at night.”

His free arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you to his chest, kissing you again, holding your hand tightly, muttering against your lips, you’re kind of annoying, and you muttering back, you’re actually annoying, and him smiling between gentle kisses.

“I have to find the key, fuck, what the hell are they doing in there?”

“Are you sure you wanna know Taehyung?” Yoongi yawned from the ground. “What if you open the door and you’re scarred for life?”

“They were supposed to find common ground, not get handsy!” Taehyung shouted back, bounding away with Jimin’s disapproving sigh following. In the closet, Jungkook let go of your hand, kneading your waist as you wrapped your arms around him, both of your hands on his broad back, moaning softly into his lips as he sighed into yours, the kisses more audible now, hands exploring as Yoongi sat outside the door, clicking his tongue knowingly.

“You’re handsome, huh,” you breathed against his kisses.

“In some lights?” he teased.

You laughed, slipping your hands under his black sweatshirt, running your fingertips on his skin, making him gasp into your kisses.

“Yeah, in some lights.”

Outside the closet, Yoongi and Namjoon sat side by side, Seokjin and Hoseok long gone from secondhand embarrassment. The sounds from the closet were escalating, clothes rustling a little too much for two people who supposedly hated each other. But, as Yoongi and Namjoon discussed calmly, there were plenty of signs that indicated that those weren’t their true feelings.

“If you think about it, they’re a good fit,” Namjoon chuckled, amused as he heard Jungkook yelp. “This whole stuck in the closet thing was more fruitful than I thought.”

Yoongi laughed, raspy and full.

“Why do you think I suggested it?”

--

masterpost

[lag1995-fics]

Hey can I request a fanfic for Evan's character kit walker and song a turning page from twilight?

I hope you like it thank you for requesting. ❤️

Turning Page

Song:Turning Page by Sleeping at Last

Pairing: Kit Walker X Reader

Warnings: some cussing

Words: 2010

Summary:Kit’s highschool sweetheart waits for him

Song Fic Masterlist

////::::////

You and Kit Walker had been high school sweethearts, he was your first love; and if you were being honest he was your only love. You guys had mutually broken things off after highschool when you had gotten into an out of state college.

When you came back the first time after getting your degree, you found out that Kit had moved on and married a woman called Alma. You weren’t jealous, a little disappointed maybe, but you were genuinely happy for them. Kit was a good man and you had always known he would make a good husband. You couldn’t put yourself through watching them though, you had never given up on your relationship with Kit. He had ruined you for other men. You had other boyfriends during school but the longest relationship had only lasted a month.

You decided to move back to Boston leaving your small town life behind. You loved a relatively happy life in the city, distracting yourself from the life you wished you had. You had gotten a degree in education, so you threw yourself into teaching children.

You had been happy to hear that they had apparently apprehended the serial killer, who went by the bloody face moniker. Well you had until they said it was Kit Walker, you reasoned with yourself that it had to be someone else named Kit Walker. Your Kit would never be able to do something as heinous as what they claimed Bloodyface did. Your Kit was a gentle soul, who would do his best to bring happiness and peace to anyone he might meet.

When you saw his face flash on the evening news that night you had broken down and sobbed. Kit was being framed for a murder he hadn’t committed. He wouldn’t even kill a spider much less the woman he married. You had started making calls trying to get on as a character witness. That whole town was racist and this stunk of a town coverup.

They wouldn’t let you be his witness though, they claimed you hadn’t spoken to him for over six years. You had screamed and cried even harder when they rejected you. You had never stopped loving Kit even if it had to be one sided from afar. You wrote him letters trying to convey to him that people still believed in him. That you would always love and believe him.

He never wrote you back. The guards at the prison who checked his mail had scoffed thinking of you as some loon and had trashed them. When he was committed to Briarcliff Asylum they too disposed of the many letters.

When you hear of Kit’s death you fall into a dark depression. You’re barely hanging on, when you happen to skim a blip in a newspaper. You almost choke when you see his face. He’s a bit older, but it is unmistakably Kit Walker. The article however was not a happy one: the man’s wife Alma had murdered a woman that lived with them in a fit of apparent hysteria.

Without preamble you packed a suitcase and began the trip back home. Kit would need you, not as a lover, that ship had sailed but he would need you as a friend. He was almost entirely alone now and with two toddlers to boot. You couldn’t help but feel the joythat he was alive even though it was steeped in sadness at his tragic loss.

Alma had been a sweet girl from what she could tell. She had never met her in person but if Kit married her it was apparent that she was a good person. She had been missing for so long though, she had been traumatized and snapped. It wasn’t her fault that bad things had happened and lord knows that the country's mental health system left a lot to be desired.

It had taken you almost all day to find the farmhouse that Kit lived in. It was dusk and the sun was starting to set. You took a steadying breath hoping that you weren’t overstepping any boundaries. You had flown out of the house with barely any thought, relying mostly on instinct. You hadn’t been able to help Kit when he was accused of being Bloodyface but you could certainly help now without the government involved.

You eased yourself out of the old Buick you were driving and shut the door. You began to make your way to the door but it opened before you got the chance to knock. There he was, he was still handsome as ever, but he had lost that carefree air he had when they were young. You supposed you had probably lost that too.

“I already told you I’m not doing an interview, leave my family in peace!” His voice was angry and you were now unsure if you had made the right decision. Then as if he hadn’t really been looking at you before, his eyes widened.

“Y/n?” He asked questioningly the anger had drained from his voice.

“Oh Kit I heard what happened I needed to make sure you were okay,” you explained trying not to cringe. You probably seemed like a crazy person showing up at your highschool sweetheart’s home after his wife had murdered someone.

“I thought you lived in Boston?” He questioned, still surprised at your arrival.

“I do, I hopped in my car as soon as I heard, I thought you might need some help. If I’m imposing I apologize… I can leave,” you were rambling, it was something you were prone to when nervous.

“No! Uh I mean no, you could never be an imposition doll. Come inside, I didn’t think anyone cared about me anymore,” he lamented, meeting her halfway on her way to the house. You got a better look at him up close. He still had beautiful brown eyes but there were dark bruise like bags underneath them. You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well, and really who would after something like this happened.

You followed Kit inside his home, it still smelt of the bleach they used to get up the blood, but it was warm and cozy. You looked over and could see the two toddlers playing together on a rug with some blocks.

“This is Julia and Thomas,” he said, gesturing to the kids who barely spared them a glance.

“They’re precious,” you commented.

“Yeah they are pretty great, must take after their old man,” he bragged teasingly but it was half hearted.

“Kit,Are you okay?” You asked, laying a hand on.

“I will be,” there was a determination in his voice this time looking at the children playing happily unaware.

“If you need anything at all just tell me” you begged, hoping he would take the help. This trip wasn’t entirely unselfish, you had missed Kit the moment you left for college and the feeling had never left. It hadn’t faded with time like these things are meant to do, you had never stopped loving Kit and you would wait a thousand years if that’s what it took. You didn’t expect any romance, you knew that ship had sailed, but you would be there for your dearest and oldest friend.

“Don’t you have a life or a lover in Boston, surely you don’t want to spend time with someone as pathetic as me.” His self deprecating comment made you jerk him by the arm so he was facing you.

“You listen to me Kit Walker, you are one of the most gentle humans I’ve ever met. You are an incredibly good man and you deserve all the love and help in the world. Let someone help you, you don’t have to go through this alone,” You declared, staring directly into his brown eyes with your own y/e/c ones.

He only nodded before taking you into a friendly hug holding you close to his chest, his head buried into your shoulder. You felt a shuddering sob wrack through him. You only held him, you didn’t know how much time had passed as you held him close letting him sob. When he finally pulled away you could see the gratitude in his eyes.

****

Days bled into weeks and weeks bled into months as you stayed with Kit. Things for the most part remained platonic apart from a few lingering glances from each other. You didn’t want to put any pressure on the relationship. You had meant what you said when you told him you were here to help him. You would love Kit however you could get him be it romantic or platonic. You would always wait on him.

When he had come home one day in tears you had just held him. Alma had died that day and Kit had lost his wife for a third time and the children had lost their mother’s.

More time would pass and things became increasingly comfortable between you two. You had taken a teaching position at the elementary school the next town over and Kit continued to work as a mechanic.

It had been a day like many others when it happened. Kit had come home covered in a layer of oil and grease and you had been making dinner. After he had showered, he came into the kitchen to watch you cook and help Julia and Thomas with their homework. It was really quite domestic.

After dinner you had wrestled the children into bed and retired to the living room to watch television. You had felt the burning of Kit’s eyes on you and you turned to look at him pulling a face.

“Why did you stay?” He asked with a puzzled look on his face, “Your help has been indispensable, but it’s a year now and your still here. Aren’t you tired of me yet?”

“Oh, I can start looking for an apartment. I never wanted to overstay my welcome. I guess I just got comfortable being around you and the twins, is like breathing air” You rambled hiding your burning cheeks. He wouldn’t take that though and he grabbed you by your shoulders making you look at him.

“Doll I’m not kicking you out, you can stay forever if you want. I just don’t understand why you would want to stay with me,” he said and you gulped looking into his eyes.

“Oh Kit you’re the best person I know. Did you not get that with the hundreds of letters I sent to you in prison and while you were at Briarcliff” you joked trying to lessen the tension. You had never brought up the letters before you were honestly pretty embarrassed by them.

“What letters!?” He pulled back looking hard at you.

“I wrote to you everyday up until they announced your death” you explained cheeks filled with liquid fire.

“Fuck! He cursed getting up and pacing.

“I never got a single letter, y/n” he said and you not knowing what to do approached him opening your arms. He fell into your embrace burying his face in your hair.

“I’m sorry,” you croaked unsure of what to say.

“Don’t be sorry doll, but it still doesn’t explain why you want to be around me” He started in again and you couldn't help the anger that spilled forward. You took your fist and hit his chest.

“Because I love you dummy, I never stopped,” his eyes went wide at your declaration.

“What?” He asked dumbly, his limbs going numb.

“I love you Kit and I’ll always be there for you if you need me. If it’s only as a friend I can live with that, at least I get to be with you,” Your cheeks burned for the third time in what seemed like an hour.

Kit not knowing what to say decided to act on instinct. He gathered you in his arms and pressed his lips against your own in a searing kiss. You clutched at each other desperately the tension finally snapped.

“I love you too Doll.”

Requests are open drop a song or a prompt in my ask box ❤️

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 113 2Xs2) "Things That Real People Do."

@crystalbaby12 @5sosfam1dlover @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @rosefilledhearts-blog *AGAIN... So sorry if I missed you ❤️

Colson and Luna wake up late and discombobulated the next morning. They had fucked a few more times and stayed up way too late talking about their future plans together. Now they're rushing around to grab clothes so they're not late meeting Deanna at the airport.

Luna and Colson are a little more than halfway to LAX when she gets a text from Deanna. It says she just landed to their relief.

---------------------------------------------------

"It's so good to see you!!" Luna hugs Deanna tightly once they find each other.

"UGH. You are soooo lucky I love you." Deanna half teases, half groans.

"All this yours?" Colson asks with wide eyes as he looks at the stacks of luggage behind The Girls.

"Try YOURS." Deanna answers with a laugh as she greets Colson with a warm hug. "Three wedding dresses, two suites and the makings for two flower girl dress... Yeah, that's YOURS. Mine's there." She deadpans pointing to a significantly smaller sized pile.

"Alright... Let's get this show on the road!" Luna claps with excitement.

With substantial help, Colson, Luna and Deanna load all of the luggage and themselves into Colson's Expedition. On the way home the three of them talk about the astetics that Luna's going for. Colson hearing for the first time her two color schemes.

"This shit is gonna be FIRE, Kitten!" He shouts happily as he pulls her head over to kiss it; making Deanna smile as Luna turns a sweet shade of red.

---------------------------------------------------

Music is blaring when they pull into the driveway. The Cleveland House is alive and rocking. Sam and Baze have made their way back over along with Slim and Dub. Mod and Casie are having a water balloon fight in the front yard against Rook and Benny while Pete and Kevin chill on the front step watching.

"Welcome to Cleveland!" Colson laughs at the sight happening in front of his house.

Baze, Colson, Sam, Slim, Dub and Luna help Deanna get her supplies inside. Setting up in the dining room, she spreads out the fabrics and sets up the accessories for Casie's dresses across the large table. Opening Colson's trunk, she reveals his almost finished suits. With some fine tuning, they both should be finished today. Staying closed and locked is the trunk that contains Luna's multiple wedding dresses.

"Colson, can I get you on the box?" Deanna requests once she has her traveling work space fully set up.

"Yeah, no problem. What suit you want me to try on first?" He asks as his fingers run between the two different fabrics.

"Uh... Let's go PinStriped because that's the first one." Deanna decides.

"Hi!" Casie comes up waving. "I'm Casie. Who are you?" She asks inquisitively as she sticks her hand out for a shake.

"Hi!" Deanna laughs at the young girl's candid demeanor. "I'm Deanna, I'll be creating your dresses for your dad and Luna's weddings... It's so nice to finally meet you." She gushes as Casie shakes her hand in an exaggerated fashion.

"Are these for me?" Casie asks with a squeak in her voice as she hops over to the different colors and fabrics laid across the table.

"Yup. I'm gonna finish up with your dad and then we'll start on you." Deanna informs her.

"REALLY?" Casie clasps her hands together in excitement.

"Yeah, come on Dill. Let's go warm up and get changed so you're ready." Luna coaxes her favorite tiny person.

"Okay!!" Casie continues to hop as Luna guides her up stairs after passing Colson.

One Look.

"Oooh! That fits nicely! How does it feel?" Deanna asks once a barefoot Colson is on her box.

"Nice. I can move and bend... " He answers by showcasing how his ninja kicks.

"WHOAH!! NO MARTIAL ARTS TILL AFTER THE CEREMONY!!" Deanna asserts with a laugh as she slides his suit coat onto his shoulders.

"DAMN... I love fly as fuuuuuuuck!" Colson shouts as he admires himself and Deanna's work in the mirror.

"Stand still for a sec, I just wanna check the hem on the pants." The designer instructs as she works her magic; a few small adjustments and the suit is perfect. "Alright, now the orange one." She goes on to direct her model.

"My favorite!" Colson shouts again as he jumps sideways off the box, Luna and Casie coming in just in time to witness it.

"Don't mind my dad, sometimes he can be a nerd." Casie reassures Deanna of her father's antics.

"How's the first?" Luna asks her friend as they wait for Colson.

"Perf..."

"BAM!!" Deanna is cut off by Colson's elaborate entrance. "This jawn is litty, my Kitty!!" Colson shouts again as he pulls Luna close to him by the waist. "Feel this shit... It's so fucking soft but so light." He oozes over the crushed orange material.

"You look great, Buns." Luna laughs as she kisses him. "Now get on the box.... GET ON THE BOX!!" She laughs harder, slightly mimicking Brad Pitt from Seven.

"How's that one feel?" Deanna interupts them, she's on a mission.

"I like that this one is looser. Like, I could wear these pants all day at EstFest and be comfortable." Colson answers as he does a slight jig.

"GREAT!! That means you're done. All I have to do is secure all the hems and you're wedding day ready." Deanna let's out with a light sigh.

"See that Kitten, I'm wedding day ready." Colson states as he pops a pose and sticks his tongue out at her; causing her to collapse into a fit of giggles with Casie and Deanna.

"That's a good look for you there, Mzzz. Kelly." Sam comes in, busting balls and carrying beers.

"Whhhyyyy thank you." Colson laughs as he jumps off of the box one last time, steals a beer from Sam and hollers "THANK YOU, DEANNAAAAA!!" As he sprints away to undress and work on his rap hook.

Fitting Casie is a WHOLE different story. She's never had to stand still long enough for a custom piece. It also doesn't help that The Guys keep floating in and out and messing with her.

"Lemme show you something, Dill! " Luna calls for Casie, pulling her sketch book out, she shows the young girl what their goals are.

"Okay. I'll stand better." Casie asserts with a better understanding of what they're trying to construct.

Deanna works as Casie stands. Luna and Sam busting it up with both of them. Colson pulling Luna away for her opinion on the sound for what they're now calling So Am I. Luna dipping all around the house. From the dining room to the music room, then to the backyard to get stoned real quick. Starting from scratch, Casie's takes the longest leaving the tiny one to step down from the box hungry and exhausted.

"I'm going to watch TV." She declares with a dragging sigh.

Luna sets her up in the living room as Ashleigh arrives with Ashton. Pleasing Casie to no end to have her Buddy with her as the women all head to the dining room for Luna's final fittings.

"We need sheets." Deanna informs Luna. "I don't want anyone walking in on you... You know?" She asks to Ashleigh's nod at the sign of the bad omen before she goes to find them.

A couple of beers, a few sheets later and Luna's on the box in her first dress. It's simple and short with lace details. Deanna checks the hems and asks Luna how it feels. She loves it. It's flattering yet comfortable. Delicate but not too girly for Luna. Gushing over it as she throws her arms around Deanna in gratitude.

"Wait till you see the third... That's my favorite." Sam whispers to Ashleigh as they watch Luna shimmy into her second dress.

This one is long with simple, classic lace patterns. Giving off a soft, hippidelic feel. Perfect for the woods of EstFest. Luna stands still as Deanna adjusts the lace around her body and it falls softly against her skin.

"Is it too tight?" Deanna asks with slight concern.

"I don't think so... What do you think?" Luna asks as she twists and twirls on the box.

"Jump off." Deanna instructs Luna.

With that she takes a long, ballerina leap off of the box, making it shake by her sudden weight shift. Legs wide open and arms extended she glides for a moment before landing and twirling again.

"TaDa!" Luna takes a bow, incredibly pleased with herself.

"Show off." Sam snarks with an unamused eye roll as she swigs her beer.

"You look AMAZING, Loons!!" Ashleigh stands up to admire her and the dress.

"Thank you." Luna let's out an embarrassed smile as she pecks Ashleigh's cheek. "What do you think, D?" Luna asks her designer friend.

"You'll be fine." Deanna's head nod making the other girls crack up.

"Yo!! Kitten! Where you at?" Colson tries to come barging in but gets tangled in the sheets.

"Not with you right now." Sam answers as she grabs him and pushes him to freedom; all praising Sam and the sheets with more gratitude and laughter.

Slipping into the third dress is easy. It's a two piece with a full skirt. Deanna only wanting to check the final fit and hem. Still twirling, Luna let's out a sigh... It's not hard to get caught up in the sweetness of planning a wedding. No matter how obscure.

"You okay?" Sam asks as she passes Luna a beer.

"Yeah." Luna smiles dreamily. "Just excited." Her hopeful demeanor seeping slightly into Sam before they click their beers wih the other two ladies.

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The fittings took all day. Leading them right up until about 530Pish. Only having time for a huge burn circle for the adults before most of them who aren't dressed have to run off to be ready for their 7P reservation at Morton's Steakhouse.

Finally seated with an array of drinks and appetizers, it's a ton of them as always. Colson, Casie and Luna. Deanna. Then Pete and Kevin; because no one could convince Pete to leave Kevin at home alone during nightfall and Luna knows when to pick her battles. Baze, Sam, Ashleigh and Ashton are there. Along with Rook, Slim, Benny, Mod and a pop up AJ. Fifteen to be exact. The Fabulous Fifteen if you will. Dub making his way home after the circle. Luna orders a ribeye while Colson wants crab legs. Everyone one else places their order before Luna builds Casie a bowl of Chicken Alfredo by getting technical with the server. She doesn't like to be a dick but Casie's an asshole when it comes to food and Luna would rather push a little limit than be pushed to the limits. All the while Colson appreciating Luna's instincts when it comes to his daughter.

Dinner is filling and boozed soaked. Casie successfully getting her coveted dish while Ashton enjoyed plain noodles. They talk mostly about getting back to The House and trying to work out Luna's new song before Ashleigh asks how TownHall went.

"The COURTHOUSE went well." Luna laughs to Colson's smirk as they slightly explain the logistics of their yesterday.

Conversation continues to flow along with more alcohol. Deanna and Sam's thick NY accents drawling out Luna's Brooklyn one as well as Pete's Staten Island slang as they recant war stories and bust each other's balls. It's a different light to see the four old friends in.

Eventually Ashton has his fill, Ashleigh taking him home in her own car. Benny driving Colson, Luna, Casie and Deanna while Baze, Sam, Pete and Kevin follow behind Slim, Rook and Mod. AJ being the lone wolf as always.

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Back at The House, Colson has Casie get in the shower while he packs up a few of her things that will head back to Emma's tomorrow. Meanwhile, Luna begins to pack for their overnight stay and upcoming performance in NYC on Thursday. The Guys and Sam are still downstairs tinkering with the idea Luna has in mind while Deanna works on Casie's dresses nearby.

Heading downstairs with a clean Casie, Luna and Colson join them in the music room. Beers are passed along with ideas and thoughts. Luna sits behind the drumkit, making herself comfortable.

"Let's try this, Sammy..." Luna offers as she takes the sticks in her hand and pounds out a quick bop.

"Lemme give it try." Sam agrees as they switch place and she begins to practice to Luna's approving nod.

Grabbing her electric that she'd kept with her since SNL; Luna tunes it up, making the chords howl. Stopping Sam, she looks over at Baze and nods for him to follow her chord pattern. A huge smile lighting up Luna's face as their two instruments align together.

"Now, gimme that strong, quick drum, Sammy!" Luna shouts out over her shoulder. "Colson, follow her lead." Luna continues to instruct as she begins to sing the original lyrics a bit faster with more spunk instead of tease.

Casie sits watching in awe. She's seen her dad create and record a million songs but there's something empowering to her in the way Luna commands the direction of her peers and their instruments. The young artist continues to absorb the creative jam session as it begins to birth an actual song.

"I think here... " Luna points to her and Colson's conjoined lyric lined papers, showing him where she think his part fits.

"So, what... After... " Colson asks as he flips through a few chords on his own electric.

"Yes... Exactly. Wanna try it?" Luna asks as she feels the piece lock into both of their brains.

Colson nods as Luna calls it From The Top. Her lead guitar whining for a couple chords before Baze's bass pops in to even her out. Followed by the unique beat pick up by Sam's thunderous drums and Colson's quick paced rhythm. Luna steps up to the mic, her vocals dancing through the lyrics as Colson slides in to reiterate everything she's claiming.

"FUUUUUCK YES!!" Luna shouts after they slam it out. "Quick break and then another couple run thrus?" She asks to everyone's agreement as she bounces around like she's on Meth; she's not, it's just her creative process.

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A quick break means a quick fuck to Luna. Down the hall, in the tiny bathroom. With her senses on overdrive, she's all over Colson. Dropping to her knees to slurp his dick, bringing him close to the edge before releasing him and letting his cock throb as it drags against her outstretched throat.

Bouncing up again with a twinkling gleam, she kisses Colson hard on the mouth. Letting their tongues wrestle playfully with one another before pulling back. Giving him THAT One Look before she hoists herself up onto the sink. With his pants already off, Colson eases himself into Luna's juicy pussy. Making her moan and shudder from his girth. With his hands cradling her face, Colson kisses Luna deeply while her nails grip his ass and she fucks him maniacaly.

"Ooohh FUCK, Bunny! GO!" Luna cries out as her whole body tightens before that beautiful wave of euphoria washes over her.

"God Damn, Loons." Colson pants into her collarbone as she goes limp against his body.

"Mmmm... I FUCKING LoveLOOOOVE Yooou." Luna coos gently in his ear as they rest upon each other

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Luna comes bouncing right out of the bathroom and back to practice without missing a beat. Talking over different chords with Baze, rhythms with Sam, along lyrics and feelings with Rook. Colson gazes at her with love and adoration as he watches her create. It's when he sees how intently Casie's watching Luna too, does it turn into appreciation. Heart bursting with pride that he chose a strong woman to be his wife and a role model to His Peanut.

"It's her... It's always been her." Colson smiles to himself as he allows his mind to drift back to the night at The Gramercy and the mysterious Girl in the Cheetah Print Coat before joining in on their band practice for a song She wrote about Him.

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Word Limit 2 of 2

To be continued....

[mwolf0epsilon]

Story about something crashing on little Sammy parents farm. Maybe the government comes and forces them out for a while to collect it?👽

Warning for disturbing imagery and dead animals!

Summary: Joey Drew Studio is snowed in, so while everyone tries to keep warm for the night they end up reminiscing about the oddest things they had ever experienced. Sammy ends up recalling a rather bizarre event from his childhood.

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[[MORE]]

"I'm sorry to impose so much Mrs. Harrison. I trust Abigail will behave, she's a little angel I assure you." Sammy fidgeted with the phone chord nervously as he listened to his elderly neighbor. "Yes, yes thank you... Oh certainly! Let her on so I can wish her a good night..."

Susie watched as the tired look on the music director's face melted away to welcome a gentler smile. She could sort of hear a child's voice on the line (his little sister that he'd mentioned a few times). It was quite endearing to see Sammy with such a calm and content expression instead of the usual grumpy scrawl that scared half the band into submission.

"Good night Abby, be good to Mrs. Harrison." The call was coming to a close. "I love you too."

Susie smiled at him and nodded, taking her turn to call home now that he was finished.

"Wally is heating up soup in the break room. The stove's thankfully working." She called after him as she dialed the number.

"Everyone camping out there?" He asked as he looked back at the voice actress.

"Everyone but Joey, that devil of a man actually has an insulated office... The rest of us are sleeping by the stove." She sighed "Thankfully Norman and Grant thought ahead and brought a few blankets to stay warm."

Clever thinking and also a necessity, as Grant's office was very drafty, and Norman's booth got cold from the pipework frosting over a bit (since the music department had been a repurposed bathroom) in cold weather. Mr. Cohen also knew the likelyhood of Joey having paid the heating bill. Slim to none.

"Great... Just what I wanted, to sleep in a stuffy room full of people and the smell of that rancid soup..." A soup he'd enjoyed at first (due to it reminding him of his father's cauliflower soup which had little bits of bacon in it), but which had lost its luster on the third week of being asked to take a few cans home. Abby hated the stuff so he'd had to eat it himself. "Don't you just love getting snowed in?"

"Only when I was a child. The snow usually meant no classes." Susie finished dialing and waited for her mother to answer.

He left her alone to go back into the break room where Wally and Norman were passing around bowls of soup. Grant greeted him with a blanket, which he graciously took. The damn studio was absolutely freezing in November. The freak snowstorm hadn't helped.

Honestly he'd loved the look of a snowy New York when he'd first moved here with his father. It had looked beautiful and new, almost magical, unlike the ranch he'd grown up in until he was 11. Looking back now, he missed the expanse of snowy fields instead of the cold streets. He also missed watching a few of the animals play in the snow.

Getting stuck in the studio made him a little nostalgic.

"Here ya go Sammy!" Wally passed him a bowl of soup, which he nearly dropped in surprise, and grinned "It ain't my ma's beef stew and it definitely lacks a spoon since we don't got that many of those to begin with, but at least it'll keep you warm from the inside!"

"I, yes at least that." He sniffed it and grimaced. Pork grease and chunky bits that definitely were less bacon and more cartilage. "You ever wonder how they made this slop?"

"I'd rather not think about it. It's like hot dogs ya know... The less you know about it, the better they are!" The janitor shrugged and went to sit on one of the chairs closer to the stove. Everyone was very much huddled close by, swaddled in shared blankets, rubbing their hands together to keep them warm, or drinking soup.

Norman nodded at the music director once he sat down to join the group. Not too long after Susie was sitting beside him, and he offered to share his blanket with her.

"So, what do we do now?" Wally asked as he looked around. The issue would be sorted in the morning but it was still only a quarter to eleven and no one was particularly keen on sleeping just yet.

"I'll tell ya what we could do!" Shawn called out from his spot, voice slightly muffled by his big red scarf. "I say we pass t'time by indulging in the ye old grand art that is story tellin'!"

"Story telling? What, like a sleepover?" Jack questioned. Sammy found it amusing that he'd swaddled himself in his blanket in a way that pressed his hair tight against his skull, to the point where it looked like a makeshift scarf and ear mitts. "Like when we were little kids?"

"Well we're all sleepin' here t'night aren't we? And ya don't need t'be wee little ankle biters t'go tellin' stories." Shawn huffed "Besides, what better way t'know yer co-workers than share some harrowin' tales? I sure got a few that'll intrigue you folks I'm sure."

"Is it about potatoes?" One of the art department workers asked, only to get a slap on the back of the head and an elbow to the ribs.

"Very funny, that muppet over there's a real comedian coddin like that..." The Irishman rolled his eyes. "Right, you folk ever hear 'bout the legend o'the banshee?"

Everyone gave him a peculiar look, which Shawn took as permission to carry on.

"The tale varies some dependin' on t'person who tells ya. But the way me ma told it to me was somethin' like this: The banshee is a sweet singin' virgin, pretty as a button, a real feek." He tapped his chin thoughtfully as he recalled his mother's words. "Sometimes she has long black hair, other times it's a bright red like fire. Always pale... But don't be thinkin' she's just some little lady, oh no. The banshee is a spirit, one that heralds death in the family. Her ghastly cries precede the death o'loved ones and fill ya with a mighty chill o'dread... And I saw one when I was just a wee lad."

"Ya saw... A ghost?" Lacie wrinkled her nose. "And ya sure it wasn't some regular girl you just saw?"

"Couldn't o'been. She was right outside the window Lacie. And me room was on the second floor..." Shawn shook his head "And I knew it had to o'been a banshee. She looked just like me cousin, who died o'the shakes a few months prior. My pa always did say she might come back as the household haunt, she wasn't ready t'leave just yet."

"So, that's it? You saw some apparitions at your window and think it was some folklore horror?" Sammy rolled his eyes.

"Yep. An' then in the morning me grandpa was dead. Dreadful song she went and had t'sing. I was just 5 too! T'damn beour coulda gone bother me brother instead... He was t'one that used to scare us wee lads with these tales o'ghosts n' ghoulies..."

Well, that wasn't a very nice story. And it likely had a reasonable explanation behind it too. Just a small child frightened by tales and likely still coming to terms with losing a cousin.

"Oh, that's nothin'!" Wally grinned. "Ghost stories aren't anythin' compared to what I found in a ditch when I was 8!"

"Oh yeah? Then enlighten us, oh scare Meister!" Shawn barked back, glaring slightly. "What coulda been worse than a banshee?"

"How about a maneater?" The janitor offered.

Shawn fell quiet and others began to whisper among each other at the claim, before Norman began to hush everyone.

"Go on then... Yous can't just say that an' not tell us."

"Oh man, it was the dang scariest thing I'd seen as a kid!" Wally grinned. "Us tykes from Brooklyn? We didn't grow up with monster stories and such. Our mas and pas told us about kidnappers and murderers instead, cuzz those are like, real dangers you know?"

He took a sip from his cooling bowl of soup, before clearing his throat.

"But you know what kids are like. They like adventure and don't really listen too much cuzz, you only believe it when you see it!" He carried on. "Me? I was with a couple a pals exploring this old ditch that had some neat stuff people used to throw in there. Busted watches, trinkets, sometimes a lost wallet with a little bit of cash in it...Well that day there wasn't just goodies."

Sammy sipped his own soup and felt Susie's arm brush up against his as she got on the edge of her seat. She was excited to hear wherever Wally's story was going.

"Local news had like, been going on about this one loon that had run off from the big house or somethin'. Some big mug who was a pervert or whatever. Adult stuff we kids didn't care for." Wally looked around as he spoke. "Only he wasn't no pervert, just really messed in the head. A cannibal. A cannibal that liked eating little tots. You know, stories like Little Johnny went pokin' around where he shouldn't and now there was no Little Johnny no more? Yeah that nearly was us."

"You found the guy in the ditch?" Sammy guessed.

"Nope! Found my neighbor, Sally, partially eaten and all kinds o' messed up." Wally replied "I figured we were in trouble so we ran like our butts were on fire and screamed the whole way back. Coppers caught the fucker and his picture on the paper still gives me nightmares. If we'd found him instead, we woulda ended up like Sally!"

Everyone looked extremely disturbed at the thought of a couple of 8 year olds finding another child's partially eaten corpse.

"Shite... No wonder yer such a mog. Brooklyn's fucked up!" Shawn winced.

"Hey!" Wally pouted.

"Also your story was misleading. You didn't actually encounter the "maneater"." Sammy pointed out. "That's not how you should advertise a tale you twit."

"Would ya rather I have found the creep that did it?"

"No, next time just don't make it sound like an actual encounter when it's an anecdote about another outcome entirely."

"Don't go bein' an ass Lawrence." Norman called out. "I thought the story was good. Messed up, but good... Granted it don't top what I experienced when I was still in the cradle."

"Oh, this ought to be good." The blond smirked. "Word of mouth?"

"My Nanna never told no lie. Yous won't find a more honest lady." Norman smirked back.

At this point everyone had finished their soup and was practically laying or leaning against one another for warmth. It helped that the story telling atmosphere had all but made everyone forget about the cold.

Norman being so tall and obscuring the stove ever so slightly, cast strange shadows on the wall.

"Now, this happened a few months after I was born. My Nanna was lookin' after me while my mama and memaw was helpin' my pops and pepaw out in the cotton fields. My brother and sister wasn't that much older either, not yet ready to go pickin', so they was in their room playin' together." He leaned back in his chair, a content smile on his face "Nanna was just preparin' lunch while I was layin' in this big ol' basket full o' pillows and blankets, just sleepin' away like babies do. She turned 'round to chop up some carrots when she had this weird feelin' all of a sudden."

Sammy put an arm around Susie as he listened. Norman was a pretty good story teller. Had this voice that just pulled you in. He could almost imagine a little chubby baby in a basket while an old lady prepared food in the kitchen.

"Nanna Polk always had a feel for when things were no good all of a sudden. She'd known when Poppop weren't doing well in the head, and she knew how to pop a shot into a big gator when it got too close to the house. She wasn't afraid o'nothin'." Norman carried on. "But she was afraid. She was afraid when the blade o'her knife caught the reflection o'this big brute pullin' my basket out the window."

Sammy winces and Susie tightened her grip on his arm. The others were quite aghast as well, at the thought of an innocent little babe getting snatched away by some stranger.

"Nanna didn't scream. She didn't wanna scare my siblings you see... Instead she tiptoed towards the backdoor, knife in hand, and kept outta sight o'the man that was tryin' to take me away." Norman hummed as he thought back on what Nanna had told him. "You know, they often tell ya 'bout southern hospitality. If yous is friendly and respectful, yous always got a friend. They don't tell yous about Louisiana ladies like my sweet Nanna tho... They is forged of iron and grief. Strong and protective o'their youngins... She knew what that man wanted from me, an' she wasn't bout to let it happen."

"What did she do?" Wally asked, bitting his knuckles as he put his legs up to his chest.

"Put the knife through his back. She pushed him so he wouldn't go an' fall on me, oh 'course, and that basket well about saved my life cuzz it was damn well padded and didn't so much as wake me when it hit the ground."

"Holy shit..."

"Now, that might sound a little extreme to yous, but I trust Nanna's judgement." Norman began once he noticed the horrified looks on his coworker's faces. "That man woulda taken me somewhere no one could'a gotten me from, an' she wasn't 'bout to lose anyone else to them creeps. Nanna was smart, and Nanna was hard workin'. She buried the bastard where he fell, an' planted a tree t'remember it too. I got to put a swing on it when it grew big enough to support the weight."

"Where were they going to take you?" Sammy finally asked, once he realized no one would do so. "The man?"

"Hm, well I don't know exactly. But she did say it was where my Poppop grew up, so I know it wasn't a good place." Norman frowned. "They did bad things to him, made him messed up in the head an' dangerous. Nanna saved me from endin' up the same way... Don't care if it wasn't the right way t'do it, them folks don't deserve no pity if they go stealin' babies from their cribs t'do god only knows what."

"Well... For what is worth, we're glad your nanna saved you Norman. You're a gem." Susie smiled which got the much larger man to chuckle.

"How's that for a story then? Anyone steppin' up to top it off?"

No one seemed to have anything that quite matched the energy of this... What should he call it? Cultist kidnapping story? It certainly sounded that the man was some underground cultist if he was taking babies to indoctrinate, or whatever...

The blond watched, saw no one step up to the challenge, and then remembered.

"Well, it may not be as bad as getting snatched away. But I do recall a rather peculiar set of events from before I moved to New York with my father." He began, the band members snorting and whispering among themselves that it was probably something stupid. He glared their way before looking at Norman who gestured for him to go on.

"Floor's all yours Sammy."

"Right." He thought back, way back when he was 10. Just a year prior to his mother's death. It was all a little foggy but the more he concentrated on what his father had told him about that night, the less his explanation made sense once correlated with his own memories. "I didn't exactly grow up in the city. Not until I was 11 that is... I actually lived in a cattle ranch for a while."

"That explains why you call us sheep." Johnny laughed.

"No, I call you sheep because your job is to follow me, you damn goat." Sammy snarled back at the interrupting organist.

"Ouch." Jack winced.

"Either way, as a child living with a father who raised cattle for a living, one can expect that I was often tasked to help with a few of the animals. Mainly cleaning the pens and, if I was particularly lucky, shearing the sheep." The sheep, he confesses, had been his favourite. They were dumb and cute. "My father usually dealt with the larger animals. When this event occured, he'd just bought a big healthy heifer. His ornery old bull had covered our best breeding cow but she'd not been having calves."

"Was she called Bessie?" Wally grinned.

"The name of the cow isn't of importance!" Sammy rolled his eyes. "It was Felicity by the way."

"My mistake."

"Either way, my father was a breeder, so his breeding female not producing offsprings was a big deal. I was a kid so I wasn't particularly interested if Felicity had issues, I just liked watching her when she had little calves. They were the cutest thing right after the baby lambs." Sammy carried on "The new heifer, Clarabelle, arrived that day and immediately the bull was put to working. My father thought That'd be the end of his problems... An easy fix. Except it wasn't..."

"She sterile?" Norman asked.

"Oh I wish that had been it. I was 10, had seen animals in plenty of states from sickness or wild animal attacks. But never had I seen a cow turned inside out, other than in a damn butcher's..." Sammy shuddered. He could still remember it... Going outside to get the eggs like his father had asked, and just finding this massive dead heifer with no skin on her body. His mother had said he'd screamed like the devil himself had been before him.

"Oh god..." Susie gagged slightly. "That couldn't have been nice..."

"It wasn't. I was freaked out and my father was furious. Clarabelle had been an expensive purchase. And she wasn't the only casualty." Sammy shook his head. "The pen was wrecked, the bull was in better state but no less dead, and poor Felicity must have run into whatever butchered them both because she had a massive wound on her hind. Every animal was spooked out of their minds and even our sheepdog wouldn't come out of the house. Peed himself when we tried coaxing him."

"Did ya find what did it?" Shawn asked.

"No, we couldn't find anything that explained it." Sammy carried on. "No tracks, no trails of blood, nothing. The pen was just ruined, like it had been splintered apart, and Clarabelle looked to have just... I don't know how to explain it. Pop? Like a balloon?"

"I figure your father wasn't too keen on going' about business after that?"

"He wanted compensation, but you can't exactly put the blame on anything if you can't even find a cause." The music director sighed "We eventually just decided to call it quits on figuring out what the hell happened and went on with our lives. But then things just got... Weird."

Strange lights at night, bizarre noises, and horrific night terrors. Sammy's father had lost his patience when he'd found their dog's remains and called the authorities.

"We were all on edge, unsure what was going on at the ranch, and losing animals every night. My father called the cops, saying someone must be playing some seriously messed up joke to terrorize us. He'd made a lot of enemies with his attitude over the years, so I wouldn't have been surprised..." He trailed of, beginning to feel goosebumps as he recalled the final night of these strange occurances. "And then one night I saw something strange out of my window. Stranger than anything else."

Everyone was eager for the conclusion, he could tell. Taking a deep breath, he recounted what he'd been a witness to.

"I wasn't sleeping well, no one was, but I just couldn't settle in bed that night. It felt too warm in my room so I got up to open a window." His 10 year old self had always struggled with the latch on his window, but not that night. That night it opened without a fuss. "I saw... A figure. Out in the fields. Cast in weird green light that I couldn't put a source to. They were tall, and I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman, but I assumed man because there wasn't a hair on its head... I just stared, and it looked to be staring back. Next thing I know, I'm outside in my pajamas, staring up at this pitch black figure... Taller, imposing, faceless. No eyes, no nose, no mouth... And yet it felt like it was glaring hatefully at me. Frustrated, angry... It pointed at the woods and I don't... I don't know what it wanted and I was just a scared kid."

He gulped heavily as he recalled how oppressive everything had felt.

"Again I blacked out, but this time awoke inside to my mother fanning me. My dad was yelling at the cops and it was morning." Sammy frowns "Yelling at them to get that damn thing off his property, and to fuck right off since they were so useless at their damn job."

A soft amen from a member of the writer's department. Followed by a chuckle from another one.

"My throat was raw, and when I tried to ask what happened, my mom told me they'd found me outside at the edge of the woods, screaming until my voice went. Screaming about wanting out of the woods. Screaming about wanting to go home... Screaming that nothing here was good to eat and that I was going to die... I don't recall doing it, and my father said I'd probably had a nightmare of some kind. A fever dream even, since mom had been trying to cool me down for a good reason." He bit his lip "It's odd, I'd just fallen ill overnight and everything was fuzzy... I asked why the cops were here, and my father said when he'd gone to get me he'd spotted a weather balloon of some kind in the woods. The cops were there to take it away."

Everyone stared, confused and trying to figure out how these events connected. He gave them a shrug.

"I have no idea what was going on, so don't ask. I was 10, animals were dying weirdly, and I got so sick all of a sudden that I started sleep walking and hallucinating demonic figures. No one ever said anything about the weather balloon in the local paper either, so I don't even know what to think of that." He leaned against Susie "It was weird, but it stopped. Still that thing kept appearing in my nightmares for a while... It faded with time but it bothered me while it was still fresh in my mind."

"Sounds like aliens." Wally pips up.

"No such thing." Bertrum laughed at the suggestion. "Just a bunch of vandalism, fallen governament property, animal attacks, and a child's overactive imagination."

"No, I'm serious! Stuff like that happens in farms all the time! Stuff no one can explain..."

"Wally, there's tons o' things none can explain in this world already." Norman pointed out. "I'm not sure what sorta thing Sammy might o' stumbled upon as a kid... But little green men don't sound plausible."

"Oh come on, ain't it obvious? Cows gettin' killed, the strange damages? The fallen thing in the woods? The spooky figure? The one person who no one would believe being chosen to see the alien? Then the cops just swoopin' in and covering it up? Happened just the same to my uncle Paul!"

"What I saw wasn't little or green. Don't make it another one of your outlandish tall tales." Sammy grinned, enjoying how much Wally was puffing up.

"Bite your tongue! It ain't a tall tale!"

"Sure it's not."

"Boys don't fight... Because I've got one heck of a story that'll make Norman's and Sammy's feel like child's play!" Susie cut in, with a devilish grin of her own.

And so the night carried on, with more stories to be shared. All the while Sammy laughed and listened, content with the situation.

Although... He did still wonder what he'd seen out in the field. Surely it couldn't have been extraterrestrial.

Hm... Yes, surely not. Just a bad dream and some sick prank. Had to have been.

[sherlollydramoine]

Welcome to the Tumblr-Dome Bitch! Pt 2

Warnings: Language, anonymous fake Tumblr death threats, some hilarity, and idk.. Just enjoy!

So here is part two. I hope you all enjoy because this was way too fun to write.

Word Count: 1823 (I really should have just written this as a fic, but I was feeling lazy and I’m tired) this part two. I’m going to have to write a third part to this and it’s going to be funny and hopefully we’ll get on to some sexy times in part three

(PART ONE)

You wake up several hours later and the first thing you did was check your phone. Unsure if you dreamt or hallucinated last night. Did Rami Malek really come to your apartment, find your smutty fanfiction and then get addicted to Tumblr while sitting on your couch?

Checking your Tumblr notifications you see you had several messages from Rami’s blog ItsMeRami.

ItsMeRami sent a post.“Wow people are so creative. I’ve never said or done shit like that in my life.” 

“I just got six messages from people asking if my blog was the real Rami. I said ‘as if’. I’m cackling.” 

ItsMeRami sent a post “Holy hell that was kinda hot, I think we should try something like that. Or maybe you aren’t into the possibility of calling me Daddy?” 

“ItsMeRami sent a post. “What in the actual fuck is this weird shit?!” 

It’sMeRami sent a post. “This is.. I have no words.” 

“This Peen blog is fucking hilarious. I might have to specifically start wearing no underwear all the time, and whenever cameras are about start thrusting my hips.” 

“Wow. I never realized just how visible my dick is when I don’t wear underwear.” 

“Omg Free-Rami’s blog is hilarious. Some of these people on here are crazy but I love her sarcastic responses.” 

“I hope you don’t mind. Since we follow each other now I started looking at some of your other blogs you follow… wow. Just wow.”

 ItsMeRami sent a post. “This is pretty interesting, maybe I should role play as Snafu for you, that could be fun. You seem to like a lot of posts about Snafu. This piece was interesting. Maybe we should find a train and… “ 

ItsMeRami sent a post. “I’m.. what the fuck.. You warned me about this place being a hellsite, maybe I should quit while I’m ahead. This is too much.” 

“I hope to God we’re still on for later because I want to try some of this stuff with you. By the way, I really loved the pieces you wrote. The question is do you want it quick and dirty or slow and sensual? Maybe both? We could do both right? Shit, I need to get off of here for a while and actually go to sleep. This is why I don’t do social media dammit, and damn you woman, what did you do?” 

“Hope you are getting some good sleep. Good night..er morning.. I’ll message you in a few hours. XOXO”

Finally having read through a majority of the messages you type a response. “Your responses to this place of Tumblr hell are the best things the internet could ever offer. I just woke up and I can’t stop laughing. I will look at all the individual posts later. You can always deactivate your blog later if you don’t want to keep it. Noone will fault you for that. As for tonight.. Bring it however you want, Daddy..or Sir.. or Rami.. whatever you want to be called. It’s alright. We can figure it out when you get here. What time were you thinking? I can make or order us some food and we can chill for a while.”

Your phone alert lets you know that there is another notification, thinking it was from Rami you picked it up. It wasn’t though it was from your friend @free-rami 

“Hey girl, have you seen this new blog ItsMeRami?” 

You almost choke. 

“No. Why?” 

“There is a rumor going around that given the title that maybe Rami is really on Tumblr.” 

“I highly doubt that, it’s probably just someone trying to stir some shit or something.I thought Rami doesn’t do social media? Though Tumblr is fairly anonymous so if he were to pick any platform to actively use this is the best one do so undercover.” 

“Yeah that’s what I thought but some of the stuff that’s been posted on there is interesting. It’s almost written as if it really is him or someone who knows him.”

 “I’m about to shower, but I will def check it out when I get out”.

“Cool, let me know what you think. I’m curious….”

“Will do, though it most likely is just some crazy fan or something.”

“Probably. People on here are crazy as hell sometimes.”

You finished your shower and ended up checking out the ItsMeRami blog. What you found had you laughing your ass off. For someone not very savvy on social media, Rami sure took to Tumblr quickly. 

A favorite thing of his, is apparently to go search for fan photos and reblog with random commentary about ‘I don’t remember this’ or ‘You look so happy’ or ‘What the hell is that guy wearing?’ or ‘Who the hell does this guy think he is?”

You are apparently going to have to have another conversation with him about the meaning of anonymous. Damn his inbox and message box must be full.

It wasn’t until you started to find his fanfiction reblogs that his comments really became hilarious.

``I don’t think I’ve ever ripped someone's shirt off with my teeth, but maybe I’ll have to try it. Any volunteers?@yourTUMBLRurl’ 

‘Why is she calling me Daddy? I’m not her father. That would be really inappropriate.’

‘Yeah sex on a beach is a no-go for me. Have you ever done that? Sand gets everywhere, including places you don’t want it to.’

‘My eyes are beautiful, aren't they? But I’ll never tell exactly what color they are, I like reading about other’s hilarious descriptions of them.’

‘Holy shit, you wrote about a character you guys haven’t even met yet?! That’s so cool, and maybe, just maybe, your characterization of this… Detective Cutie Pants is almost spot on.’

‘Wow. Benjamin fanfiction. This is.. That’s some old stuff right there!’

‘You all really love Snafu don’t you? He was a fun guy to play. I’m glad you all think he’s sexy.’

‘I’m not gay, but this is beautifully pornographic’

‘Wow that was quite a read. Personally, I’ve never actually had a threesome but it sounds quite exciting, and exhausting.’

‘This is just perfection. The setting, the writing, except those leather pants did not come off that quickly or easily.’

``I'm pretty sure my homie Elliot probably wasn’t as bold as he is here, but very creative fresh take on things. I’m going to pass this along to Sam to see what his thoughts on this are.’

Deciding to message your friend @free-rami back, all you had to say was “Whoever this is I highly suspect is just trying to do an impersonation. I mean isn’t his username for this the same as that email from the Rami Undercover Online piece from the end of the summer? Honestly, I just think it’s someone trying to rile people up.”

“I think you’re right, it’s just weird. Why would someone do this?”

Likes, attention, followers? Who knows? I’m pretty sure that it’s fake. There is no real information in the profile so it’s hard to tell, I think. No telling with the loons that are out there.”

“Did you notice that they reblogged nearly your entire masterlist?”

“Yeah I woke up to a ton of notifications. I’m going to send them a message and see if I can get to the bottom of this.”

“Let me know how it goes.”

“Will do! :)”

You message Rami again and hope that he will see it under the millions of messages that he may likely be receiving now.

“WTF!!! I thought you wanted to remain anon? Seriously? Those comments were fucking gold though but you’ve got the whole internet in a tizzy now! I’m sure this shit has already been tweeted, facebooked, snapchatted, or instagrammed. CALL ME WHEN YOU CAN AT 555-730-0054”

He messages back with “I’m not really sure what’s going on here but I have a ton of notifications and messages, I barely saw yours. Thankfully you are the only person I follow so I figured out how to message you that way. I see your other message now. I’m going to call in a second but yeah… I might have actually gone too far on some of those comments.”

He obviously hit send and then immediately called you because your phone started vibrating in your hand.

“Hey you!” 

“Hey you too! Sooooo.. What the hell did I do last night?”

“Started a fan frenzy, a shit storm, a kerfuffle, chaos. I’m on my laptop right now and I’m watching my notifications go off like crazy all of a sudden. I’m thinking that people may have figured out that I’m the only one that you follow, and they may suspect that it’s me doing this. Hold on, let me pull some asks.”

Your ask box suddenly had 596 asks. 

“Are you pretending to be Rami?” “How do you know Rami?” “Are you Rami?” “Wtf is going on?” “Are you Rami’s girlfriend?” “Eat shit and die bitch.” “You know Rami and you didn’t tell us?” “I think you are a slut. You should probably go slit your wrists.” “THIS IS INSANITY! RAMI JOINED TUMBLR AND RANDOMLY FOLLOWED YOU? WHY YOU? MY BLOG HAS BETTER CONTENT!” 

You just let out a deep sigh as you talked to Rami for a little bit longer. He agreed to come over later and you’d make him dinner. You read some of the anon messages that you started to receive and he just kept apologizing.

You told him your plan and he agreed that hopefully it would work, but you were unsure if people were willing to take the bait.

The post you made said this:

I, yourTUMBLRurl, swear that I am not the individual going around and impersonating Rami Malek on Tumblr (ItsMeRami). I do not condone that behavior, but I think that it’s also best that at this time to withhold any speculation about who this individual may be. If it really is Rami Malek then let him make that known when and if he chooses to do so. 

You then hit your inbox and deleted the hundreds of asks that you’d received mostly anonymously some full of hate and others just curious.

Okay, I had to break this up again (PART THREE)

@the-real-ramimalekpeen @mrhoemazzello @xmxisxforxmaybe @txmel @spacedustmazzello @ramimedley @hissom1933

[gem-rewatch]

SU rewatch- S1E7- Bubble Buddies

Our first Connie episode!! I was super excited to get to this one, mainly because Connie is one of my favorite characters in this show. 

Her growth as an individual throughout the seasons is so, so good- and despite becoming an integral part of Steven’s busy chaotic life she never comes across as “just the love interest” or “entire life revolves around Steven” like female characters tend to do in plenty of other shows. This show- despite being told exclusively through Steven’s POV- still respects the fact that Connie has her own life separate from him and Gem stuff, giving glimpses into her relationship with her parents, her school life, and giving her plenty of hobbies, likes, and dislikes. I really appreciate that.

Okay, so first off I wanna talk about Steven and the glow stick. So, he saw this cute girl watching the parade drop her glow bracelet, and saves it in the freezer just in case he ever sees her again right? And it was a big Beach City boardwalk parade, likely with lots of tourists there watching, so there’s no guarantee that he’d ever see her again. Even with this, he still holds out a spark of hope that he’d be able to give it back. Which, is just who Steven is- he’s a hoper and a dreamer. 

And like the world’s best miracle, there she is. Right there. Sitting on the beach close to his house, reading a book.

(As an added note, Connie ran out to on obscure corner of the beach away from the boardwalk to go read a book in peace. She probably wanted to get away from her overbearing, overprotective parents for a bit to relax.)

Oh my- oh my lord, it looks like he’s doing the Bigfoot pose. I desperately hope this was intentional.

But Steven. Steeeeven. Honey. Are you really gonna have your first line be a tacky pick-up line??

Steven: “It’s a smooth ride.” (after absolutely digging his wheels through the sand. GAWD.)

Honestly it’s probably good that Connie’s first impression of Steven was him being a complete doofus like this rather than his bad attempts at flirting like a leather studded biker.

But gawddd even on first watch it’s made explicitly clear that this is someone Steven’s seen from a distance before and wants to get to know. This poor kid just doesn’t know how to... actually do it.

Steven: “It’ll mess up my funky flow!”

He doesn’t seem to need any so-called ‘funky flow’ talking to anyone else in town- in fact, he’s about as extroverted as they come. This kid would willingly converse with almost anyone. Almost. His awkwardness about this one person drives home the reality that Steven probably thinks she’s cute and doesn’t know how to deal with that sort of crush stuff yet. Because let’s be real- with anyone else, this wouldn’t be a problem. He’d just bound up to them in all his enthusiasm as if they were already friends. 

Garnet: "We won’t watch.”

She says, as she adjusts her glasses. 

She already can sense what’s going to happen anyways, she doesn’t need to watch. XD

He’s already eaten through the cookie cats, and he grabs the same little glow stick that’s been seen in the freezer in episode one. A nice continuity detail.

(Although I do wonder how much time has passed between Gem Glow and now.)

Steven: *testing out different vocal inflections* “Hi! My name is Steven. Hi! My name is Steven...”

Having to script out introductions to ease one’s nerves about talking to someone new is literally so relatable. The story of my life. It’s reassuring to see a traditionally extraverted character do this too.

Ah yes, the protective bubble overprotective Pearl’s always dreamed of enveloping Steven in. Thank god he can now summon one himself.

Assuming nothing else happened off screen, this is the third weird gem thing Steven’s ever been able to do in his life- after summoning his shield once and attempting to shapeshift. Thank god it’s a helpful one this time. 

Connie: “What... happened?” *Steven pauses for a short moment, considering.* Steven, casually: “I’m magic!”

Now, for Steven... Beach City has been his whole life. Here, the handful of locals have lived alongside Gem weirdness for long enough that they accept it without question by this point, with a sorta “it might as well happen” attitude. Because of this, I get the sense that he’s never actually had to explain anything before.

And so, as awkward as they come, he info dumps.

Steven: “Well, half-magic. [...] I’m a member of the Crystal Gems, we fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff-”

Connie, bless her heart, just sorta shrugs and goes “okay” to all of this. But hey, there’s no reason to deny the existence of magic when it’s all around you!

All of THIS scene is gold:

Steven: “That’s Lars. We’re basically BFFs.”

Lars: *making fun of the kid by slathering his tongue against the bubble’s surface like an utter loon, who as a result actually appears less grounded than Steven at the moment*

This is not the only time Steven tries to get his point across by playing pictionary and drawing an over-complex picture that literally no one gets the meaning of. It’s an ongoing habit, apparently.

Nice cameo of Obsidian’s sword! Makes you wonder how it got all the way out here. Also, is this an actual sword that Obsidian forged in their lava mouth, or is it a fake sword made exclusively to be a part of the fusion temple (before it was crumbled a bit)?

Connie: “Now we’re going to suffocate or starve at the bottom of the ocean, and only my parents will notice, because no one else cares about me! I’m gonna disappear without ever making a single friend!”

This scene makes me genuinely hurt. Connie is so lonely that one of her biggest fears/regrets at this point is dying without anyone caring what happened to her. 

What we know about her and her parents tells me that they’re just... so sheltering that she’s had barely had time to socialize with anyone. It’s left her timid, so anxious about meeting new people that it literally took Steven knocking right into her to save her life to get her to say hello. All she wants is one good friend, someone who will stick around, someone who will remember her-

And then comes along Steven. A boy who saw her drop a glow stick, and cared enough to save it in case he ever saw her again. A boy who remembered her, who wants to know her.

...a boy who’s. Apparently getting down on one knee to ‘propose’ friendship to her. XD

Hey, whatdya know? I guess diamonds really are a girl’s best friend.

Jokes aside, this is such a sweet moment- 

Steven: “We could be friends!”

It’s exactly what Connie needed to hear, and it’s exactly what he always wanted- to get to know the girl from the boardwalk parade more.

As a final note, Steven blushes so hard when Pearl and Amethyst are gently teasing him about Connie. Honestly I think the fact that Steven has a canonical crush on Connie is about as blatant as they can make it from episode one. 

That being said, most of all he just wants to be a friend. I’m thankful I’ve never sensed any sort of “possessive, jealousy” behavior from him when it comes to Connie which automatically sets Steven Universe as a show apart from like, pretty much every other kid’s show with a crush between guy and girl best friends. (I’m lookin’ at you, Star vs. the Forces of Evil.)

They’re friends first, and he respects that- and thus I respect him.

[enbyhoneyfluff]

The Day That Never Ended!

[this is not the whole fic, but this is just a scene I suddenly got a burst of inspiration for]

CW: Alcohol, drunk driving

Gyro let out a sigh, sitting at a table in the Punxadowny bar with Donald’s cousins-- Gladstone and Fethry. Their names have been drilled into his mind from seeing them frequent this bar day after repeated day. It’s only been about ten loops, but the repetition is already grating on his nerves. So much of each loop had to be wasted attempting to explain his situation to Mr. McDuck, and no matter how much progress he made trying to find a way out, it was pointless. Even if he wrote something down, come 6 AM, it would be gone. Like it never happened. It was getting old really, really fast.

Turning the glass of cider in his hand, Gyro mused, “You know... one day, I had a stroke of luck. I had just created Lil’ Bulb, and I decided to take him out on the town. I got coffee from my favorite cafe, at a discount because I filled out the punch card. There was a sale on circuit boards and tools at the electronics store. Lil’ Bulb fell in love with a string of Christmas lights. I went back to the lab, and I managed to finish a voice-activated toaster in a mere four hours. I ordered takeout, and it arrived just a minute over the deadline, so I got it for free. And at the end of the day, Lil’ Bulb fell asleep on my shoulder.”

Fethry was listening intently, while Gladstone barked out a dim laugh, downing his glass. Gyro rolled his eyes, getting to his point. “That was a pretty good day. Why couldn’t I have gotten that day over and over and over?”

Silence fell over the table, the only noise in the bar being the radio playing quietly in the background. After a moment, Fethry leaned forward, holding up his glass. He had already downed half of his drink (his third drink, really), and he gestured at the line in the middle. “You know, Dr. Gearloose, there are some who would say this glass is half-empty. Some would say it’s half-full. You seem more of a glass half-empty kind of guy.”

Gyro narrowed his eyes, and cast his gaze on the two half-duck cousins. “What would you do,” he asks abruptly, “if you were stuck in one place, and everything was exactly the same, and nothing you did mattered?”

He’s struck a nerve. Gladstone cleared his throat and glanced away, and Fethry winced, the memories of the deep sea lab almost reflected in his eyes. It’s clear to them that the conversation is over. Gyro frowned, and he averted his gaze, something already shifting inside him.

He downed the rest of his drink.

-------

The three of them stumbled out of the bar, Fethry struggling to find the key to his car on the keyring. It takes Gladstone taking the keys from him and picking out a lucky guess before he can even try to unlock the doors, but even then he has difficulty. He’s not turning it the right way, Gyro noted, merely watching the scene play out before him.

Gladstone gets sick of watching Fethry’s plight after a few moments, and he pulled him back, forcing him to meet his eyes. “Okay, that’s it, Feth. Gimme your keys. Come on, hand ‘em over.”

Fethry doesn’t resist, though he fumbles while passing them over to Gladstone. The gander wagged a scolding finger at his cousin, admonishing, “Friends don’t let friends drive.”

“Alright, just stand there and take a deep breath.” He steadied Fethry, who swayed on the spot, and complied with Gladstone’s directions. He held the breath, waiting for permission to exhale, but Gladstone hadn’t picked up on that. “You good? You feel alright?”

Fethry nodded.

“Good. ...Oh, you can breathe again.” Gladstone added, crossing around to the driver’s side of the car.

With an exhale, Fethry stumbled again, propping himself against Gyro. The chicken grimaced, leaning back and narrowing his eyes. The loon wasn’t looking particularly healthy at the moment, and that didn’t bode well. “Do you want to throw up out here or in the car?” He snarked, resting a hand on his hip.

Furrowing his brows, like the question needed serious consideration, Fethry hesitated... then glanced up at Gyro with a grimace. “I think both?” Great. Just brilliant. Gyro scoffed and rolled his eyes, grabbing Fethry by the shoulders and started to escort him towards the car door. Without warning, the car lurched forward, before it went into reverse, leaving the pair behind. But only for a few seconds, as Gladstone pulled forward again, rolling down the window to blink blearily at Gyro.

“I don’t think I should be driving.”

“No. No, you definitely shouldn’t.” Gyro deadpanned, pulling open the passenger side door and shoving Fethry unceremoniously into the middle seat. Gladstone stumbled across to the passenger side, allowing Gyro to take the wheel instead. “Everyone make sure to buckle your seatbelts.” He reminded, starting up the car and beginning to drive off.

They drove in silence for a few moments, before Fethry piped up again. “Who else could go for some flapjacks right about now?”

Nobody responded.

Gyro’s hands twitched on the wheel, and he frowned. A question bubbled to the surface of his mind, one that had been simmering since their earlier conversation. “Let me ask you two something. What if there were no tomorrow?”

“No tomorrow?” Gladstone quirked a brow, and even Fethry turned his full attention to Gyro. “That would mean there would be no consequences. No hangovers, no awkward morning-afters...”

“We could do whatever we wanted!” Fethry chimed.

Gyro’s eyes widened for a moment, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. He pushed his glasses up and nodded. “That is true. We could do... whatever we want.” Whatever had been shifting inside him finally snapped, and his grip on the wheel tightened, swerving into the nearest mailbox and taking it out. Envelopes went flying, and the duck cousins let out a startled shout.

“Hey, hey, Screwloose, if we wanted to hit mailboxes, I would have called Launchpad and let him drive!” Gladstone shouted, leaning across Fethry to try to grasp onto Gyro’s arm. Paying him no mind, Gyro continued his erratic driving through the town, taking out another mailbox in the process.

Through the rear-view mirror, he saw a pair of headlights come to life, and were soon followed by a red and blue flashing. He’d attracted the attention of the police. Good. That would be the perfect way to test his new theory. Ignoring the blare of the sirens, swerving his way through the empty roads of the late night town, Gyro kept on driving.

Fethry gulped, gripping his seat and glancing at Gyro. He had seen the chicken in his feverish moods before, but this was unheard of even for him. “Dr. Gearloose? I-- I think they want you to stop.” Gyro didn’t even respond, like he hadn’t heard Fethry at all.

Continuing the chaotic rampage, Gyro started on a tirade. “It’s always the same thing your whole life! Clean up your room, stand up straight, pick up your feet! If you wanna be a man, then learn to take it like a man! Be nice to the investors, Gyro! Stop making inventions that turn evil!”

With one more angry swerve, he drifted to a stop... on the railroad crossing. With a determined glare, Gyro revved up the car, with one last bullet point: “Oh, yeah. Don’t drive on the railroad tracks!”

Gladstone’s eyes widened, his breathing quickening as he looked at Fethry. Their eyes met and silently they agreed on one thing. Gyro had lost it. “Uh--” Gladstone wet his lips, his voice wavering with a hint of anxiety. Even he wasn’t sure if his luck could get them out of this one. “Gyro, that’s one I happen to agree with.”

A deranged grin crossed Gyro’s beak and he shifted gears, slamming his foot down on the gas. The car lurched forward, bumping along the tracks as fast as the uneven terrain would allow. “What’s the matter, Gander? I thought you weren’t afraid of taking big chances.”

“This is the police! Pull over immediately!”

Great. They’d turned on the loudspeaker. Gyro growled, and Fethry whirled around in his seat. “Hey, we’re trying to talk in here!”

Suddenly, another light came into view directly ahead of them. Gladstone’s heart leapt into his throat, and Fethry’s eyes widened. Gyro kept speeding forward, with no signs of stopping. With another anxious gulp, Fethry glanced at his cousin. “Do you think they’ll swerve first?”

Gladstone was silent, glancing between Fethry and Gyro, and the oncoming train. He wasn’t swerving. He still wasn’t swerving. Dammit, why wasn’t he swerving?! Fethry and Gladstone started to scream, grabbing onto each other, and the gander just prayed to Lady Luck that somehow they’d get out of this alive--

And Gyro finally swerved, the car leaping off the tracks and down the hill. The cousins were still clinging onto each other, trying to gather their bearings, while Gyro just cackled in exhilaration. “I’m not going to live by their rules anymore!” He shouted, as if he had triumphed over some unseen obstacle.

“Yeah, we noticed that!” Gladstone grimaced, still shaking from the rush of adrenaline.

“You make choices and you live with them!” Gyro laughed, his tone ever so slightly unhinged. Yep. The chicken had finally cracked. With one final crash, the car finally came to a stop in an overnight parking lot, and they were quickly surrounded by police cars.

Gladstone clutched at his chest, taking in deep breaths, and Fethry quivered beside him, fighting back waves of nausea. At least they’d finally stopped. What more could go wrong? An officer began to approach the car, and Gyro rolled down the window, muttering, “I’ll handle this.”

The officer leaned over their car, shining a flashlight into the vehicle as the three birds looked up at them. Gyro leaned casually out the window, a smug grin on his face as he spoke, “Can we get, uh, three cheeseburgers, two fries, two sodas and a large chocolate shake?”

Desperate to relieve some of the tension, Fethry leaned over and made his own addition: “And some flapjacks!”

“Too early for flapjacks?” Gyro went with it, batting his eyelashes innocently at the officer. The dog just stared at them, an unamused expression fixed on their face. Clearly not in the mood for jokes.

Gyro found himself escorted into a jail cell, but he still didn’t have a single regret. Going to bed somewhere besides the B&B would be the perfect chance to test his theory.

---END---

[toxikbubblegum]

May Reading Wrap Up

I'm actually really proud of myself. I finished 13 books last month. Spent a lot of extra time away from screens and focusing on my mental health so I burned through way more than I normally would. So anyways, here's my reviews. - Also please understand that these are just my opinions and if I shit on your favorite book I'm sorry that I didn't enjoy it as much as you. Also, also Im terrible with character names.

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor ⭐⭐⭐

I actually started this book at the end of April but didn't finish it til May 1st so whatever, here it is. This books is a YA urban fantasy novel about a girl with a double life. She spends half her days studying art in Europe and the other half running errands for a tooth collecting wish monger. I don't want to say a whole lot more because I dont want to spoil anything important about the plot. So, I'll try to be vague. Let me start by saying this story is amazing. I loved the writing and the world. I rated it so low solely because I can't stand the two main characters and it really dragged down what would have otherwise been an amazing novel. So yeah, great book but its a preference thing. Also took points off for the insta-love but not really insta-love shit. Idk. I have a lot of mixed feelings about this read even a month later. Gonna read the second to see if maybe my hatred of the two mains was just a fluke.

3/5 Stars

Spellbound by Rachel Hawkins

⭐⭐⭐

This is the third book in the Hex Hall trilogy. Not much to say about it. It was a meh ending to an overall pretty good series. 3/5 stars. Moving on.

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

⭐⭐⭐

Realizing now how many of my reads this month were pretty middle of the world. Hopefully next month will be filled with 4 and 5 stars. Anyways, this book was honestly a struggle for me to finish and Im not sure why. It's a YA mystery magical realism story about a tiny coastal town that is cursed by the spirits of 3 sisters who were suspected of witchcraft and drowned 2 centuries prior. Because of this, every year the sisters return from the sea to take the lives of teenage boys by luring them to the sea. We follow the life of kind of meh and standard YA girl #1. She meets a strange non tourist boy and hires him to work in the lighthouse her family owns. Her dad randomly disappeared years ago and her mom is a loon. So yeah... I dont know. I kind of felt like this story was hot garbage in places. I usually dont have any trouble with the suspense of disbelief in magical realism stories but this one just had too many plot holes. Like, I get morbid stuff becomes tourist attractions but why wouldn't someone have stepped in and evacuated the town if at least 3 teenage boys die there EVERY SINGLE YEAR without fail? I honestly feel like the FBI or some other government agency would have cleared the place out after the first 20 or so deaths. There was also the whole MC can see the ghosts of the girls possessing people but chooses not to tell anyone? Like, I get it. You dont want people to label you a freak or think you're crazy but come the fuck on. You live in a tourist trap where people flock to watch local teenage males wash up on shore and you really think the authorities arent going to take you up on the help? It wasn't an awful book by any means. It was well written and extremely descriptive. Just had major beef with some of the details. Anyways, I wont say much more so I don't spoil the whole book.

3/5 Stars

An Enchantment of Ravens by Maragret Rogerson

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Finally, I get to talk about one of my favorite reads of the month. I love anything to do with the Fae in my YAfiction and this was literally everything I wanted in a Fae novel. It takes place in a town called Whimsy, a humanish town in the world of Faerie. The fae cannot do any Craft, or what we would consider craftsmanship. Art and humans who can do it well are very precious in this world because the Fae can't ever do it themselves. We follow the adventures of a girl who has been commisioned to paint the portrait of the Autumn King and the chaos that ensues. Let me just start by saying this is one of those insta-love situations where I feel like it's genuinely ok. I might be making excuses because I loved the title so much but whatever. It's explained and I accept it. Also, I realize that Gadfly had a lovely description but my brain willl not let me picture him as anything but Mr.Waternoose from Monsters Inc.

5/5 Stars

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

⭐⭐⭐

This book started out so good and went downhill very quickly. It follows the story of these two magicians who were fated by their Master's to one day fight to the death. There were so many things I loved about this book only for the last 100 pages to just take a firey dump on my face. I loved the setting and the majority of the characters. The supporting characters were so deep and interesting that I almost cared more about them than I did Ceilia and Marko (Im proabably wrong and I dont feel like googling but I think that was his name) . I don't know. I don't want to complain about anymore meh books.

3/5 Stars

Matched by Allie Condie

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Went into this book expecting to hate it. I usually don't like contemporary love stories but this had major City of Ember meets The Giver vibes and it just appealed to that 14 year old girl in me again. That seems to happen with a lot of dystopian utopia stories. Anyways, story is about a girl who lives in this town where when you hit a certain age you are brought to a place and told who the government has chosen for you to marry. She is matched with her life long best friend and all is well. Except that her little Get To Know Your New Husband microship thing showed her two guys instead of just one. And lots of bullshit ensues. I honestly think I rated this so high because I enjoy the world and not so much whats actually happening to the kids. Like, I loved the idea that art is harmful so the government chose 100 acceptable pieces and thats all these people know. I loved the brutality of the government in general. I can't say much more without spoiling some of the twists but geez did it have me hooked. I'm going to be started the second one soonish, though my TBR for June has gotten intense so we will see.

4/5 stars

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I cannot say enough good things about this book. It is so fucking good! Not going to rant about it or anything because y'all just need to go read it immediately.

5/5 stars

Would give it every star in the sky if Im being completely honest.

Reign of the Fallen by Sarah Glenn Marsh

⭐⭐

Got sucked into this book by the cover and honestly that was the best part of this book. Its about this world where necromancy is pretty highly regarded and used to resurrect the royals after they die. The only downside is that if a living person ever lays eyes on the resurrected person's skin then they turn into these horrible monsters. Maybe it's just me but like that absolutely does not seem worth the risk. Plus, in order to bring the person back, these reapers have to go into the death world and bring the spirit back. And it's HELLA DANGEROUS. So like, WHY? Anyways, there is this stupid underlying love story that I absolutely wasn't invested in. This just all around was not a good book.

2/5 stars

Monster High by Lisi Harrison

⭐⭐

Little known fact~ I'm obsessed with Monster High and Ever After High. So yeah, I realize this wasn't targeted to me as an adult but even going into it with an open mind I was disappointed. Granted I didn't read the description of the book prior. I just saw this franchise I love and grabbed it. First, if you are a fan of the mini series and the movies do not read this. It doesnt follow the cinematic canon and I think that was my biggest problem with it. Frankie's character was all wrong and I hated the whole"Normy" cast. Was really excited for these but I definitely won't be continuing the series. I don't even want to torture myself with seeing how they manage to ruin my sweet baby Draculara.

2/5 stars

Unhinged by AG Howard

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I can't say enough good things about this series. This is the second book in the trilogy and it was a fanatstic bridge book. It had me engrossed through the entire audiobook. Morpheus is still everything. If you loved Splintered I would highly reccomend continuing.

5/5 stars

Truthwitch

⭐⭐

Have had this on my TBR for a while because of how many Booktubers have hyped the series. Buy, was I disappointed. I was soooooooooo bored. Maybe it's because I don't really enjoy this type of fantasy or maybe it was just the slower paced story but I just slugged through this book. Both of the main female characters were bland to me and I didn't care about their friendship. The world was cool but not enough to keep me invested. Just wasn't my cup of tea.

2/5 stars

Paranormalcy by Kiersten White

⭐⭐⭐

Picked this up because of how much I loved The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein and it didn't meet my expectations. It follows this girl who works for a paranormal gorvenment group. She has a special ability that makes her really useful to them so they are trying to groom her basically. They capture this changeling and she befriends him and there is an overarching plot that I just didn't get invested in. The friendship between the two main characters was pretty much the only thing that I enjoyed in this title. The mother figure was insufferable and I just didn't really understand the whole org that they worked for in general. Not an awful book but not fantastic.

Solid 3/5 stars.

The Siren by Kiera Cass

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Going to preface this by saying I might be biased. I love Kiera Cass and have enjoyed almost everything she has written. That said, this wasn't nearly as good as The Selection series but it was a pretty good stand alone novel. It about a girl who becomes a siren on her deathbed and spends the next 100 years serving the sea by luring people to their deaths. After doing this for 70 years, she falls in love and pretty much ruins everything. Loved the characters, especially the male lead. The insta love was a little pet peeve of mine but the love interest was so sweet and genuine that I was willing to overlook it. Pretty good read if you dig supernatural romance.

4/5 stars

June holds the Ghibli-a-thon but also lots of holidays for my family so we will see how much I actually get read. So far my tentative TBR is 5 books but we will see where the days take me.

[whoacanada]

NHL!Bitty, Part XII -  ‘A Stanley Cup Wedding’

The Schooners win game seven and dethrone the defending champion Falconers to claim Seattle’s first national title. 

Eric was definitely not expecting Jack to propose immediately after losing.

(A rework of the ‘Game 7 PVD vs SEA’ prompt that totally retcons some NHL!Bitty stuff, so timeline-wise: the Falconers took the cup Eric’s second year with the Schooners. The Schooners win the following season.)

NHL!Bitty Masterpost

Game Seven. Third period. Eric’s running on adrenaline, blue Gatorade, and rage.

Jack and the rest of the Falconers first line are racing to catch up, but Eric is ‘criminally fast’ (thank you ESPN for the lovely descriptor), and it’s almost too easy to whip the puck to Carter and wait for the siren.

Snowy can’t stop it. The Schooners will win in regulation. 

For a brief, terrifying moment, Eric sees Morin’s breakaway as the death knell of his relationship. He has flashes of Freshman year and he thinks ‘Jack is going to hate me’.

Eric closes his eyes and waits.

The siren blares and someone slams into his side, but he only has a moment to rally before he’s hit by a wall of sound that vibrates the ice beneath his skates and reverbs in his chest. The whole arena must be shaking because he’s never heard anything like this before.

Except that’s not quite true, because he was there last year in Providence, it’s just that the sound wasn’t directed at him.

It’s Seattle’s first championship.

Eric forces open his eyes and can’t see much beyond the mob of teammates that have surrounded him, but there’s someone else. A body in Falconer’s blue that’s mushed up against Eric and screaming as loudly as any of his teammates.

“Mon Petit Lapin est un Champion!” Jack shouts, right in his ear, before pressing a sloppy kiss against Eric’s cheek, the affectionate gesture hidden in the safety of the huddle.

So much for Jack being upset.

When the mob starts to break down Cricket notices Jack among their ranks and grabs his jersey to pull him away from Eric. 

“Zimmermann! Get back to your own team!” 

“Mon dieu, t'es beau,” Jack continues talking, refusing to break eye contact even as Bay shoves him back to wrap Eric in a hug of his own.

“Ouais, il est,” Bitty says back, though Jack can’t hear him, skating back to console the Falconers after the loss. “I am. Oh, my god, I am. We won.”

“We won!” Cricket echoes, and the team roars. 

They line up to shake hands and when Jack reaches Eric he says, “I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more than you.”

Eric doesn’t have time to respond before he’s being coaxed along and Tater slaps his hand so hard Eric thinks he might have broken something.

The next few minutes are a blur of screaming, sweaty hugs, candid photos, posed photos, interviews, and distantly he can see his parents with the Zimmermanns behind the glass, waving and waiting to be escorted to the ice. Behind them, Eric can just make out the small hoard of Samwell alums dressed in custom red ‘Bittlemann’ and ‘Zimbits’ jerseys, though Shitty appears to have shed most of his clothing at this point. 

Eric slips away from another reporter and, overwhelmed, can’t quite figure out what to do now. He wants his parents. He wants Jack. He wants to lift the fucking Stanley Cup.

They’re rolling out the carpet for the cup presentation and someone is tugging at his arm. Someone that stinks a lot like --

“Jack!” He spins and hugs his boyfriend before remembering there are cameras and pushing away quickly.

“It’s okay,” Jack assures him, pulling him back into a tight hold. “I’m gonna propose,” he huffs against Eric’s sweaty hair, “right here.”

“What? Now?” Eric asks, not sure if its the exhaustion or just generic shock. “I mean, are you going to come out?”

“Right now,” Jack nods, pulling back with a goofy grin. “But only if you want to.”

The music is deafening and out of the corner of his eye, Eric can see Cricket grinning like a loon before a swarm of reporters and several cameras. They’re bringing out the cup, and Eric doesn’t exactly care because Jack’s going to come out. And he just proposed that he is planning to propose?

Maybe he has a concussion. Maybe he’s not thinking clearly because is what universe does Jack lose the Stanley Cup, come out, and propose to Eric at the same time?

“But you lost,” Eric says gently, afraid Jack’s about to realize he’s made a mistake. 

“And you won,” Jack counters, just as gently, cupping Bitty’s face. “And you have no idea how proud I am. Six years ago you’d pass out if you got hit. Tonight you ran me into the boards twice!”

“Cause you were being an asshole, Sweetpea,” Eric defends, fighting the warmth rising in his cheeks.

“And it was great, but you know who helped you through that? I did,” Jack grins. “Checked you so many times you forgot you hated me. So, it’s a bit like I won too, you know? I got to see the man I love, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, fearless.”

Oh. That’s. 

Eric grabs a handful of Jack’s jersey and pulls him down into a kiss, heedless of the flashing lights and screaming spectators. When they separate Jack’s expression is dazed.

“So you’ll marry me?” Jack cradles Eric’s sweaty face and peppers kisses across his cheek. “Please say yes. Make it official.”

Eric grins and tucks his face against Jack’s neck, “Yes, I will marry you.”

They’d discussed it before, in the same half-measures and what-ifs that always circled conversations about their relationship and Jack’s eventual coming out. 

Somewhere between the playoffs and this moment, Jack must have made peace with his demons because he’s here now, declaring his love on the biggest stage he could possibly find. It’s only by the grace of the hockey gods that no reporters have managed to stick a microphone between them yet. 

Then Eric blinks, noticing Sorenson’s blond head in the crowd, and he has a bold, terrible, horrible, wonderful idea.

“Sorenson is ordained,” Eric says, just loud enough for Jack to hear. “Our family and friends are here. What about right now?” 

“Right now?” Jack stares at Eric and grins like he hasn’t just lost Game 7 of the finals. Like Eric isn’t about to hoist the cup. Like they didn’t just out themselves on national television.

“That’s crazy,” he breathes, pulling Eric into another kiss. “Let’s do it.”

Something bubbles up in Eric’s stomach. Butterflies? Adrenaline? Sheer joy? Perhaps all of the above?

Carter swings by with a stack of hats and shoves one on Eric’s head so the brim knocks against Jack’s nose. “Stop macking on your man and come lift the fucking cup!”

Jack laughs and shoves the cap out of his face. “Carter, we’re getting married. Right now. Grab Sorenson.”

Morin freezes. “No shit? Can I be his best man?”

“Sure, just get Andrew before it’s too late. We have to kiss when Bits lifts the cup.”

Morin retreats and Jack takes Eric’s face in his hands again. 

“You sure this is what you want, Bits?” Jack asks, brow furrowed slightly. “I’m all for it, but if we wait for everyone to get over here we’ll be swarmed. We have to do this right now.”

Eric pulls Jack’s hands down into his own and smiles up at his fiancé (fiancé!). “I’m okay with that if you are.”

Sorenson skates over with Bay and Morin, interrupting the moment. “What’s this about you getting married?”

“You’re still ordained, right? We want you to marry us.” Eric explains. “Like right now.”

Sorenson looks at Morin. “Is this legit?”

“Why would we lie about this?” Bay shoves Sorenson’s shoulder. “C’mon, you in or out?”

“What, now? I mean, yeah, I can, but shit, Bittle, you’re putting me on the spot, you have vows? Rings?” Eric shakes his head and Jack must mirror the action because Andrew just groans and rips off his hat. “Fuck guys, fine. I’ve never done a gay wedding, but okay.”

He motions for them to scoot closer. “Uh, dearly beloved --”

Eric sees an NBC reporter hovering nearby and snaps his fingers to interrupt. “No time, skip to the end.”

“Bridezilla over here -- do you, Eric Bittle, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold in sickness and in health yadda yadda yadda?”

“I do,” Eric says, taking Jack’s hand and squeezing tight.

“And do you, Jack Zimmermann, take Eric Bittle to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Definitely,” Jack breathes, smiling so hard Eric thinks his chapped lips might split. 

“Then by the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church, you fuckers are married.” Andrew waves his arms half-heartedly. “But not totally. You still need paperwork, and Morin and Bay are your witnesses.”

“Sick!” Bay high-fives Morin.

Eric tugs the sleeve of Jack’s jersey. “Hey, we still need to kiss.”

“Not yet,” Jack warns. “We should both be touching the cup when we share our first kiss as a married couple.”

A few short years ago, Eric would have laughed outright at Jack’s superstitions. But now? 

“Lord Stanley will bless the union, and the league will fear our power,” Eric jokes, only half-kidding when Jack’s smile turns just a little self-indulgent. 

“Bittle!” Someone yells, and Jack shoos him away.

“Go be with your team!”

“I think I’d rather be with my husband,” Eric says, and Jack flushes pink before Eric looses sight again, Carter dragging him bodily back to the reporters and the cup. He blinks and he’s standing beside his captain while the world narrows to the trophy held above his head.

“Congratulations, kid,” Cricket grins, handing the cup to Eric. “You’ve earned this.”

Eric grips the metal tight and feels the weight of it for the first time. Not just the 35 pounds of silver and nickel, but the weight of a legacy far bigger than any one player. 

He stops fighting the urge to be presentable, lifts the cup high and screams, forcing every painful moment in his entire life out into one throat-shredding cry. 

For every church lady who looked down her nose at him and talked to Mama about ‘camps’, for every relative who described his love of figure skating as ‘faggy’, for the classmates who wouldn’t sit next to him and the junior varsity football players that actually tried to kill him . . .

For every person that every tried to make him think he was less than. 

Fuck you.

His cheeks are wet, the crowd is going nuts, and his parents are crying. 

Bob has an arm around his father’s shoulder and Coach is crying.

He needs to pass the cup on, but he’s not ready yet. He scans quickly for Jack’s name from the previous year, and when he finds it he brings the cup to his lips, pressing firmly enough he’s sure ‘ZIMMERMANN’ can be read plain-as-day on his lips.

‘Thank you for giving me this,’ Eric thinks, blocking out everything else for just a moment. ‘And thank you for giving us Jack.’ 

He blinks against the lights and finds Jack in the crowd, beaming beside his parents. 

It’s time. 

Eric makes a b-line to his family (His family!) and stops short of Jack. 

“Hey,” he says, suddenly hoarse with the realization that this is his husband. He’s married (kinda), he’s holding the Stanley Cup in front of everyone he’s ever cared about, and Jack Zimmermann’s ass will forever belong to Eric Richard Bittle.

“Hey, Bits,” Jack replies, barely audibly over Shitty, Lardo, Ransom, and Holster chanting ‘Bittle, Bittle, Bittle.’ Eric motions up with his chin and Jack reaches up to cover Eric’s fingers with his own until the cup’s weight is split between them. 

By now word has spread and every camera in the arena is trained on them, but he tunes out the crowd, his teammates, the reporters, his friends, his parents and his in-laws, and he leans in to capture Jack’s lips.

It’s not their first kiss, but it might as well be.

[datingadviceonreddit]

Sometimes you meet a girl and you hit it off immediately. The chemistry is fantastic, you come away from every interaction grinning like a loon a d excited for the next chance of seeing them. Well that has happened to me.At the end of September, I met a wonderful girl at a party. She was a friend of my flatmates and she got way too drunk, so I had my flatmate take her home so that she could sleep it off. The next day, she came back to my flat to thank us all but my flatmates were asleep (I'd not slept at all) so I told her to make herself at home while I finished cleaning. Once I had done that, I went for a nap to find her in my bed. I joined her in there and we had a long chat and a bit of a spoon before she left, but before she did, I asked if she wanted to watch a movie later. She came over and we spent a good 5 hours talking and getting to know each other. That night lit a spark in me, so I asked her on a date.The date went spectacularly. I took her to a nice burger place and we both enjoyed the meal then went back to mine to finish watching the series we were watching at her request. We went back to mine and spooned and started to watch the movie. She spent the first third of the movie presenting herself for me to kiss her neck and escalate the physicality, but I chose to tease her, holding my head close to her neck and breathing on it. Eventually she straight up asked me, after remembering I am a virgin who had never had sexual contact, thinking I had missed the hint. I told her I knew what I was doing and then escalated. That was the point that the spark became the bonfire. The physical chemistry between us was so much greater than the chemistry we had had the first time we watched movies. Needless to say, she ended up staying the night and neither of us got any sleep at all, being horny teenagers and this being our first ever chance to let this tension out.The relationship proceeded to be like this for the month it lasted for, we would meet 4/5 times a week and we would spend a great deal of time talking to each other before getting physical, each of us getting off one way or another each time. My favourite moment from the relationship was when I took her to the train station for her trip home for the weekend and I had stayed the night before. We'd parted ways for class but when I took her there, the kiss we shared made the busy train station around us disappear for a moment and looking down her shirt, I saw the hickey from the night before, taking me back to the evening before.Alas, good things like this seemingly was not meant to be. She was over at a game night my friends, flatmate and I were doing and I got pretty drunk and headed off to bed early. She came in a few times to check on me and said she'd be in later. I woke up the next morning to find out she'd slept in my flatmates (M) room, and heard her sneaking out without even attempting to say goodbye to me. I felt betrayed and so hurt that when I confronted her, I actually had to hold back tears. She told me this was her first serious relationship and she had no idea what she had done wrong. I asked her to leave because at that point I was shaking. I found out late that day, she'd spent the whole day with that same flatmate, and had been talking about me the whole time. My other flatmate (F) came back and went AWOL when she found out what happened because she thinks of me like a little brother. She lectured her on what an exclusive relationship was and especially since she was the one that wanted that relationship she shouldn't have done that.We decided to take a couple days break while the dust and emotions settled from this and decided to break up later because she felt she just wasn't ready for a relationship. At the end of that week though, she'd called saying she wanted to see me to talk, she'd been mulling over what my flatmate said to her and what she felt toward me and said it tore her up not being with me, so I decided to give her a second chance after she'd agreed to a set of boundaries. This lasted a week u til she traveled home again to see her friends and got high with them. From my perspective, they coerced her into dumping me because they didn't like the sound of me despite her saying she was happy. I don't know what really happened and will never know but that's how it came accross to me when it was explained to me.I said at that point I didn't think I could trust her again, despite her saying she was open to still being close and open to something in the future. I asked for time and space, which she didn't respect and asked me to a movie night with her and I brought my friend so I could have a backup. It devolved into verbal battleships with us throwing pointed comments to each other so I left and didn't talk to her until she phoned me a week later to ask what had happened. I texted her saying that "there is too many feelings on my side and way, way too much hurt for me to even be friends with you. I think it best we both go our separate ways and if I think there is a possibility of being friends with you in the future, then I'll be in touch."This relationship has taught me a lot about myself and about the dynamics of a relationship in general. I've learned three key lessons throughout this relationship that I have learned: 1) No matter how good it was, some things are not meant to be and letting it go would be the best course of action. 2) If both parties aren't fully committed to making something work and maintaining the flame, there is little hope for it to succeed. 3) Protect my heart and set my hard boundaries and not waver in them.Despite how messy the breakup ended up being, I am looking at the positives of the relationship and remembering the good times with appreciation and nostalgia. I enjoyed the time I spent with her and I hope she end up happy in life because I do still love her very much.I hope this was an entertaining story for you guys and I hope some of you will learn the lesson I did without the heartbreak.Please share your opinions and your own stories below for others to see and possibly even take something from them. via /r/dating_advice

[365footballorg-blog]

Boehm: An ode to Ibson, a Brazilian star who found himself in the North

May 3, 20182:19PM EDT

Most goals, unfortunately, are single-serving friends – fleeting or workmanlike occasions that tick the scoreboard but don’t live long in the memory, the wellspring of stolid locker-room mantras like “on to the next.��

Others are dense delicacies that demand repeat viewings, analysis, contemplation, even Zapruder-like dissection.

Ibson’s game-winner for Minnesota United vs. Houston last week is the latter.

Take a look at the clip. Maybe twice. Then delve into a slow-motion view. No rush – take as many loops as you need. Go ponder the comical injustice of its modest place in this week’s tally of AT&T Goal of the Week voting. Ruminate on whether his personal hashtag should be spelled #Ibsonity or #Ibsanity.

Pity the misfortune of Dynamo defender Leonardo, alert to the danger of Ibson’s near-post run, close behind as the low cross arrives from Miguel Ibarra, but nonetheless still “posterized” – nutmegged, and on his knees, no less! – by the outlandishly well-timed and well-executed flick.

Purify Yourself pic.twitter.com/5kKzRM878K

— Minnesota United FC (@MNUFC) April 30, 2018

At some point, you may also want to savor the myriad creative posts that cheekiest of backheels has inspired across the Loons’ social-media channels, powered by not only the sublime skill of the finish, but the perfectly smug, yet spontaneous smile that followed.

The Boy from Flamengo

🔊 SOUND ON 🔊 pic.twitter.com/E1vei7Acxi

— Minnesota United FC (@MNUFC) May 2, 2018

“I haven’t seen the other goals, but because of the difficulty of the goal, I think I should win Goal of the Week for sure,” the Brazilian impishly told reporters via translator this week.

“It was meant to be! When Miguel went to cross the ball, I already had an idea of what I was going to do.”

It’s only the second goal of Ibson’s MLS career, and at age 34, it’s anyone’s guess as to how many more he’ll net on these shores. Besides, he’s already starred on some of the soccer world’s biggest stages, winning league titles in Brazil and Portugal and competing in UEFA Champions League, Europa League, Copa Libertadores and the like. He doesn’t seem to have anything left to prove.

But they might just sing his name for years to come in Minnesota.

Ibson with Loons head coach Adrian Heath | USA Today Sports Images

Ibson arrived in the North Star State in 2015, back when the Loons were playing in the NASL, far from sure whether they’d get to make the move to MLS, but ready to grow under the then-new ownership group led by Dr. Bill McGuire.

“We were just looking for different types of players,” Loons sporting director Manny Lagos told MLSsoccer.com this week. “We brought a couple of veteran Brazilians in and another great servant of the club, Tiago Calvano, came to me and said he knows a player that is a big-time player, but really looking for something different.”

After wandering the earth in pursuit of his footballing fortunes from Flamengo to Porto to Spartak Moscow to Bologna, back home for stints with Santos, Flamengo again, Corinthians and Sport Recife, Ibson was seeking a more stable, less stressful environment for his spouse and children.

“Money wasn’t as important at the time to Ibson, maybe, in terms of his market value as much as getting somewhere he felt like he could feel good about his family, his kids, and put them somewhere in a new experience,” said Lagos.

Ibson (L), then with Porto, battles Chelsea’s Michael Ballack in a 2007 UEFA Champions League match | Action Images

“I didn’t know if it was going to work out. But in the end, I give a lot of credit to the club and our community for showing him that it’s a great place to live, and I give credit to our veteran Brazilians who told him the experience they were having living here, and the type of growth potential the club had.”

If his Loons teammates didn’t know much about the newcomer at first, they soon found out when they visited Brazil during their 2015 preseason.

“For [teammates] to see how recognized he was in Rio, walking down the street,” said Lagos with a chuckle. “We had to have police escorts and horse escorts traveling around the country because of how popular he is there.

“Part of the reason why he lives here is because he wanted a bit more of the quiet lifestyle.”

Nominally a holding or two-way midfielder alongside Rasmus Schuller at the heart of Minnesota’s typical lineup, Ibson approaches the anodyne duties of a No. 6 with a carioca’s flair. He reads and roams to maximize his influence, hunting touches, interceptions and combinations, drawing fouls and occasionally even sneaking into the opposition’s penalty area to wreak further havoc.

“My whole career has always been like this – trying to be a surprise in the box,” he said on Tuesday.

“He certainly isn’t called upon to create and score offensively, but he is such a gifted, skilled player that he’s an incredible problem solver on the field,” said Lagos. “The goal [vs. Houston] just showed a little of the flair and the special qualities he has in the middle of the field that he got to exemplify in the final third.

“His skill level and thought process, how he thinks about things, is off the charts. So it doesn’t surprise me that in that situation he’s able to think so quickly and finish with amazing technical ability.”

A few months after Ibson’s arrival, Minnesota United were awarded their MLS expansion slot, and as with many players on their final NASL rosters, the technical staff had to make a sober assessment of how well he’d keep pace at the next level up.

We see you, Ibson 👀 #RSLvMINpic.twitter.com/oCNp5cpInJ

— Major League Soccer (@MLS) June 18, 2017

“There were certain guys that we just felt like would add, and help build this club the right way both on and off the field,” said Lagos, a Twin Cities native who considers Ibson the most skilled player in his community’s long pro soccer history, alongside the old Kicks’ South African NASL star Ace Ntsoelengoe. “Ibson’s just one of those personalities who decided to come here for soccer but also for his family, to be part of the community.”

Some consider him a diver, a dabbler in the dark arts, or a taker of unnecessary risks. And he’s not universally adored across his team’s fanbase – local site FiftyFive.One last year called him “a player who can make you swoon one second and tear out your hair the next.”

Yet MNUFC’s faith in the well-traveled Brazilian has been rewarded.

“He’s shown the club and the guys that come to the club, young or old, how much he loves soccer and how much he loves playing, how much he loves being involved every day,” said Lagos, revealing that Ibson is a “formidable” soccer tennis player whose skill delights his teammates around the training ground. “Showing up, working hard and loving it – really loving it, loving the little moments.”

Perhaps surprisingly, Ibson has started every one of the Loons’ matches so far this season, and sounds ready to keep on trucking as MNUFC count down to the 2019 debut of Allianz Arena.

“It’s been pretty manageable for me,” Ibson said this week when asked about his workload. “I’ve been working pretty hard on and off the field, taking care of my body.”

Lately he’s also become a guide and mentor to his talented young countryman Maximiano, helping the newcomer get settled. And should he sustain his personal renaissance, Ibson would provide a welcome thread to the past when United open their gorgeous new stadium.

The adopted Minnesotan, eager to represent.

“He really has enjoyed the soccer side here,” Lagos said. “[And] also being part of this special project in Minnesota.”

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Boehm: An ode to Ibson, a Brazilian star who found himself in the North was originally published on 365 Football

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Thailand & Vietnam Vacation 2018

Vietnam & Thailand Trip: A Novella

  February 28th/ March 1st: This is the day I began my journey. I was a bit scared of traveling by myself for fear that I wouldn’t be able to produce digital boarding passes in ye foreign lands. Thankfully the Captain gave Helen a cracked (unlocked) shellphone that was a good security blanket. I had never bought sim cards in foreign lands before, but apparently it was quite easy! Well I got on my plane from Denver to San Fran – Success! I then got on a plane from San Fran to Hong Kong and begins reading my novel “The Rooster Bar”. It is a book about three law students who are so encumbered by debt, they quit school and pretend to be lawyers and troll for people at jails and hospitals who need immediate legal assistance and are willing to pay cash. I got about a third of the way done and switched to movies – big mistake. I have a tendency to get screen sickness if I watch too much tv. I got a blinding headache for about 6 hours of the 14 hour plane flight. Luckily I friended two lovely British and Middle Eastern flight attendants and gained the courage to ask them for some extra food and a carbonated drink. But when I told them I had a headache they were like “Do you want Advil?”! I swear back in the day flight attendants told me they were not allowed to distribute drugs. I had never been so happy in my life. The flight attendants also had amazing recommendations for things to do in Vietnam. They told me to see the Cu Chi Mihn tunnels, the war museum, the backpackers street, and eat a Bahn Mi sandwich. I still have the napkin the guy wrote it all down on and it will go in my memory box! You shall live on forever friendly flight attendant!

 After relieving my headache I did watch some good movies from Hong Kong to Bangkok – namely one “Goodbye Christopher Robin” about how A.A. Milne writing Winnie the Pooh ruined his son’s life. It was really good – must watch, but I did end up crying and I felt rather stupid being surrounded by people. I finally got to the Bangkok airport and was SHOCKED at how run down and hot it was. It was like being in this weird skinny factory. I made it to the international terminal and messaged Limp Legged Loc  – he had left the terminal to find food! What a rebel. I tried walking the in direction that I thought would allow me to leave the terminal but a sassy gay Thai airport guy saw me and knew I was lost and pointed me in the right direction. I finally got to the food court and met Limp Legged Loc for the first time – he was a pirate from another ship you see, and we were both porting at the same island and meeting for the first time. Well he looked different than I was expecting, but seemed like a nice pirate friend overall.

  March 1st/March 2nd: Loc and I took a flight from Bangkok to Ko Samui and then a ferry ride from Ko Samui to Ko Pha Ngan. On Ko Samui I begin to notice that everyone is dressed in clothes much frattier and sexier than what I have packed… hmm. Loc and I exchanged drunken tales to pass the time and finally arrived at Ko Pha Ngan. Loc taught me how to buy a sim card – it was the easiest experience in the world! We made our way to our hostel… if you could call it that.. which was essentially a bleak room with two twin beds, some thin sheets, and not much else. The bathroom had concrete floors and a toilet that was basically in the shower area. To give you some idea of the conditions of this place, I saw two cockroaches (or perhaps they were spiders?) having intercourse on day 2. Sometimes slumming it can be fun so I took it all in with a laugh.

Loc and I spent the first part of the day walking around the town, shopping, and eating.  I was very impressed Loc was so patient with the whole shopping thing. I asked him why that was and he said he went shopping with his lady friends/love interests sometimes back home. Good lord – you can not get Tom within 50 feet a mall, so good for Loc. We then rented a motor bike and started riding uphill from the town that was frat city. Once we got back into the residential areas it got a lot nicer. We found a secret bar (whose name I can’t remember!) with a great view of the island and pool. The bar was essentially a deck on a hill so we walked below the deck on these steep stairs to explore what was below. We found a dilapidated deck, some great climbing rocks, and an especially good one of those little pagodas you see everywhere in Thailand. On the way back up one especially large hill we were having trouble getting the bike going straight – they are surprisingly top-heavy. We ended up crashing the bike into the little concrete lips on the edge of the street a few times which was no Bueno. Long story short, we took it back to the guy we rented it from and had to spend about $300 USD between us to fix it. He probably overcharged us, but as we have learned, you don’t mess with the Thai… they also had our passports. They probably copied these while we were gone and our information is being used somewhere in SE Asia.

Finally Emma arrived in a tizzy – She was quite put out with United – they messed up her flight FIVE TIMES. I think she mentioned something about they kept giving away her seat. I will have to ask her the whole story once I see her.

So I was sitting in our room, waiting for Emma to get ready, and I see these snapchats from my best friend and bridesmaid Sonia (with an IA) of her sitting on a beach somewhere in Thailand. And I just get this feeling that she is in Ko Pha Ngan. I knew she was going on a Thailand/Cambodia adventure around this time but I thought surely we wouldn’t be in any of the same places at the same time! So I snapchat her and say “girl.. I think we’re on the same island… are you going to the full moon party?” Indeed she was!! So I use the trusty Captain’s cell phone to navigate us to Sonia and her friend Gilli and honestly it was pretty hard to tell someone how to find them on a beach full of 30,000+ people. They gave us a general location and like a hound dog I began running through the crowds. It was the weirdest thing – it was like I could sense where my bestie was. I ran up from behind and gave her a big ol’ bear hug and we celebrated. Sonia, Gilli, Loc, Emma, and I all danced, bought lots of buckets, drank, made friends, and had a fantastic night. At one point, Sonia, Gilli and I went to these tall scaffoldings out in the ocean with some people and danced and hung out. It was pretty magical. Then I left Sonia and Gilli with my non-sim card phone and navigated the beach to find Loc and Emma. Honestly, it was pretty dumb. I didn’t know how to make it back to our hostel and I didn’t have data. Again, second miracle of the night, I walked 10-15minutes along the beach until I saw a sign I thought I recognized and god bless Emma and Loc were there. At some point I had ditched my shoes, so I distinctly remember running through the streets of Ko Pha Ngan with no shoes like a mad drunken loon. Finally I convinced dad to let me go get my shoes – he was convinced I couldn’t find them in my drunken state, but I SHOWWED HIM SIR. Dad was quite surprised. Dad and mom put me to bed at 3 and they went back out and continued to party until 5.

  March 3rd: We spent most of the day exploring the island and laying out on the beach. At one point I went for a run by myself and that’s where the monkey incident happened! I found an abandoned restaurant (I think) and it was inhabited by monkeys! First mate Helen tried to take pictures of these monkeys but grandpa monkey was not having it! He and two of his sons or nephews (or nieces! Let’s not be sexist) started running at me! Well I didn’t have my rabies shot so I said “I don’t think so!” and ran into the ocean for safety. Later that day we hung out at this casual little bar (whose name I don’t remember gahh!) and met a bartender named Koko, who was the most adorable little shy man ever. He made us mojitos and was pretty distant at first, but after a while he warmed up to us and even let me go behind the bar and make a drink. We visited Koko a few times that day and finally he said he would take us to a locals party after he got off of his shift at 1! Well we went back to the death bunker and I made the mistake of lying down – soon the team followed suit and next thing we knew we had all passed out. Both Emma and I randomly woke up at 1:30 AM and knew it was too late. We had broken Koko’s heart! What a**hole Americans!

  March 4th: We left Ko Pha Ngan in the afternoon and took a ferry to Ko Tao. Ko Tao was much less fratty and more spread out that Ko Pha Ngan. We booked ourselves an extremely nice (but still really cheap when you do the conversion) hotel located on the top of a huge hill. Let me describe this hotel for you. It had a romantic canopy bed (sorry Loc – dis for the girls), a bathroom with lots of stone, a private deck that had a gate and led out to the infinity pool, super powerful air conditioning, many mirrors (good for females), and a beautiful view! Like I said the hotel was on a steep hill so when you looked over our balcony, it basically dropped right into the ocean (remind me to show you a picture). Emma hung up a hammock and everything was right in the world. There was also a set of outdoors stairs that led to a public bathroom and then down further to our room. Every day I would be walking behind Loc and he would say “I need to take a shit and I don’t want to blow up our bathroom” and deviate to the public toilet. Soon this became a funny routine that would go on every day. However, I still don’t love it when guys talk about their poop…

              That night we went out on the town at 9 and started walking along the street into town. It was really dark and there wasn’t another person in sight, so we began to RUN as to not get taken. By the time wee got into the main drag of town we were all super sweaty. We went into this restaurant to good food, but they had stopped serving food, so we took tequila shots. Emma ran away to find the “toasties” from Sev Lev, which she had heard about from her cousin. We ate the toasties and then started walking through town. We were walking by this bar that had a bunch of locals dancing and eating – they looked like a family because they had children and people of all ages. So we walked up to the bar and they motioned us in and offered us some food. They told us it was some man’s birthday and we began to dance with them to traditional Thai music. It was AWESOME. We spent about an hour there and then wandered down to the beach where we went to this bar called “Lotus”. At the time it was so dark, I thought we were in some sort of secluded jungle clearing which I really liked, but when I passed by there the next day I realized that the bar wasn’t in a jungle meadow but literally on the beach next to hundreds of other bars! It kind of killed the magic a little. Let me tell you about that night though! There were guys dancing with fire ropes and fire juggling sticks at the beginning. Then there was a fire limbo. This really strong Thai guy took both Emma and I (separately) and sat us on his waist and limboed under the fire limbo stick! Emma and I also tried it together where I let Emma sit on my waist and limboed under it! So many hilarious pictures for this, so lucky you, I have attached them. I also let one of the Italians and this British chick braid my hair, because I tell strangers to do weird things when I get drunk (see picture). Other highlights of the night: At one point we made this British girl let us take body shots off of her because I was like “I am wearing a dress – can not be the body shot receptacle”; this girl started telling me about her adventurous/gross love life (will not disclose as this is via Deloitte email) and I turned to Loc and go “Loc! Have you met So-and-so? She was telling me the most interesting stories about what she’s into, and excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom” and left him in that conversation. As I am walking away all I can hear is Loc going “what the f**kkkkk?”. Basically by the end of the night we were all these tight-knit drunken foreigners – it was great! I did wander off by myself to go to the bathroom and then wandered into some abandoned apartments and Emma got pretty mad at me… but I always come back to the group! At the end of the night we had to walk up the GIANT hill to get back to our hotel – It was really hard to do this drunkenly.

  March 5th: We spent the morning sitting on the beach and drinking mojitos. This is probably where I got the majority of my tan. The beach was beautiful and full of bars and restaurants and lovely hidey-holes. That day Emma Loc and I spent several hours in the ocean just swimming and chatting. But Emma and I kept getting stung by what felt like mini jellyfish! I asked a few males and a few females and only the females reported getting stuck. SEXIST JELLYFISH! We met some cool people in the ocean – three Spaniards who we talked about culture stereotypes with, and a couple named Denver and Storm who told us the cool things to go do on the island. Note to self – name daughter Storm. Emma and I then went to a Thai massage place where I had the most amazing massage. The massage parlor was on this upstairs open desk facing the ocean with basically just shades for walls and fans everywhere. All you could hear was the sound of fans – it was weirdly peaceful. So this Thai lady rubbed me down with this warm coconut oil (ok admittedly I broke out so bad for the rest of the trip, but it was worth it) and massaged me hard for an hour straight! Not like in America where you pay an arm and a leg and they always seem to be doing other things instead of rubbing you. Also I love when they message you rough because it makes me feel like you are actually getting all of the knots and bad juju out.  Emma and I then walked all up and down the beach and saw so many dogs trying to catch fish in the ocean – it was so cute! Finally we headed back to our hotel and walked up the GIANT hill – dear god lord Jesus that hill sucked, but at least you felt like you had done your mini work out for the day once you were done. We swam around in the infinity pool and hung with people at our hotel. I don’t think we went out that night, but I can’t remember…

  March 6th: We spent more of the day tanning at the beach, drinking mojitos, and eating some random gummy vitamins that Emma had brought. We were having lots of silly conversations like whether green and yellow make blue. We also spent a lot of times at their beach property bars where you sit on the ground or sit on bean bags which was a lot of fun. We ate some really tasty curry and panang meals and I think had our first Mango sticky rice. This is decidedly in my top 5 favorite foods. In the afternoon we went to some bar and met some really cool lone wolfs – an Australian guy who was already drunk and making hilarious conversation; a super jacked British gay guy named Aaron who I decided was my new best friend; this guy from Denver/Boulder who went to CU and, albeit, was living a super cool life, was hitting on me way hard and I was not into; and the Thai bartender who we convinced to take shots with us even though his boss was sitting 20 ft. away. That night we went back to the Lotus beach bar and watched more of the dancing shirtless fit fire guys routines. After that we wondered into the city and saw some lady boys in the street beckoning people. They looked SO HOT, I was v impressed. So we went into the cabaret and bought some beers and watch their shows. If I was being super legit at this log, I would include pictures of that too, but all of my pictures were pretty bad quality. We ended the night by eating a crepe and walking up … wait for it… our BELOVED SUICIDE HILL. As the nights went on we began to build a love-hate relationship with that damn hill.

  March 7th: I woke up early, went for a run, and went to talk to the dive people at Rocktopus. They explained that they could fit our four day session into three so I was overjoyed. Running through town was so much fun. I tried to run until there stopped being shops and it was residential but this one street went on FOREVER. Finally I got to the point where it started going straight up hill and that is when I gave up. I was running back home when I saw all of these colorful umbrellas suspended in a net, so I hoped a fence and wandered into this fair that was being set up (I think it was going on a few days later).  When I got back to the hotel, Loc and Emma were still sleeping. Oh I don’t know if this made it into the other days logs, but every morning we would eat an amazing all-inclusive breakfast on this deck with breathtaking views. And they gave you FREE water so I would drink so much water during this time. I really liked the deck because it was sort of built into a rock and the edges of the deck weren’t really finished. The hotel was a great combination of super nice and fancy, but also island laid-back. That day we went on our snorkeling trip. A truck came and picked us up and took us to a restaurant where we met some of the other attendees. We met one guy named Max Geisinger who turned out to be a famous German guitarist! He has 575,000+ followers on Spotify. We then got on a boat and got our snorkels on and our instructor would let us off at different coves. Emma and I were together at first and then I lost Emma so Loc and I were together for a bit. We saw some awesome neon colored fish, and a giant sea turtle, and a shark. On the last dive, I grabbed someone else’s snorkel and jumped in, but I soon came to realize it had a hole in it. I was trying to keep up with the group but I couldn’t keep my face in the water, so I was essentially treading water for 20 minutes straight. Then the swells of the ocean started getting really big and pushy us towards the shore. At one point I turned to some German guy next to me (there are Germans EVERYWHERE when you travel) and said “I’m a little scared, I think I’m drowning” and then I started swimming back to the boat. That was the longest most frustrating 10-15 minute swim of my life.

We had made friends with some British dudes, so after the snorkel trip was over we went with them to this restaurant known for these special milkshakes – unfortunately when we got there they said their shake machine was broken and there were no special shakes, so we just ate and enjoyed the views. After that Loc Emma and got ready to go out, headed into town, and went to awesome little shack/bar that sold really cheap shots. We took shots from this hot middle aged Thai bartender lady (with especially perky… personality… hmmm) and started out night. We met up with these French guys we had met from the snorkeling trip at guess where… LOTUS. We watched the fire dancers for a bit and decided to wander to this bar called “BND” (Bar Next Door) where they had American ping pong tables! I played some beer pong and then ran away to buy my friends baby guinesses. My hair was in a tizz so I asked this British girl if she had a rubber band. She didn’t but she said she would braid my hair. After she braided my hair I was so grateful I insisted on buying her a shot. I think she thought I was lesbian coming onto her, so after I bought her shot I had to pull out the fiancé card so she’d rest easy. After that I hung out with my friends a bit. Then I ran away again to see things or get more shots and I saw a guy who was flirting with the bartender and got her to serve him right away. I bluntly asked “could you teach me how to flirt with bartenders in a way that they pay attention to you and serve you drinks?” This gentleman’s name was Logan and I think he was taken back by my audacity. He laughed and we started chatting and I learned… surprise surprise, he had gone to CU. He noticed that I had an engagement ring on and we established I was taken and for the rest of the night we had a fantastic intellectual conversation about a myriad of topics and I didn’t even have to deal with him hitting on me. He became my second favorite person after gay bestie Aaron. Loc Emma and I ended the night by getting Truck (we were moving up in the world!) ride back to our hotel.

  March 8th: Last day on Ko Tao. Loc was hungover (theme of our trip) so Emma and I petered into town, explored, ran some errands, and decided to grab lunch. We asked someone the best place to eat and they recommended this place called “Su Chili” on a different part of the island. Emma and I walk a decent way there and guess who we see... Freaking LOC! At this point we decide we have some sort of friendship radar for each other. I got a delicious yellow peanut curry dish (See picture attached) and Emma and I got fresh strawberry and watermelon smoothies. This may have been the best meal of the whole trip. Then Emma went to get one last message so Loc and I walked back to our hotel. As we were walking there we saw this meadow with booths and exhibits and figured a festival was coming up in the next few days. I saw the most AMAZING rainbow umbrellas suspended in a net (see picture) and had a grand time photographing them. It was like something you see on Pinterest. There were also a few other cool works of art, but I won’t overwhelm you with pictures. We went back to Su Chili for dinner and grabbed pizza and then went out. I don’t remember anything particularly exceptional from this night, except that we went to that little pop-up ally bar with the woman with the great fake … yeah. I remember being so full of liquid and Loc and Emma pressuring me into taking shots. I believe we ended the night by getting some sort of Nutella crepe and all was right with the world.

  March 9th: We had asked our hotel to call us a cab at 5 AM so we could catch a ride to the ferry, but unfortunately, they forgot ☹. So we grabbed our packs and started jogging down suicide hill in hopes that we could find a cab in town. As we were jogging, we saw two guys driving up on motor bikes, and Emma flagged them down. God bless Emma and her lack of inhibitions and social graces. She asked if all three of us and our giant backpacks could hitch a ride to the ferry. The two guys were south American (Brazilian?) and spoke pretty broken English, but they agreed. So Loc and I hopped onto the back of one guys motor bike, and Emma hopped onto the back of the other guy’s motor bike. We drove for a good 20-30 minutes in the pitch black on the back of these guys motor bikes while I tried to make small talk. The guy we were with would toot his horn every 2 minutes to make sure the other guy was still behind him. They were both actually driving pretty fast – if we had crashed it would have been a bad story for all of us. We made it to the ferry feeling very very grateful and the south American guys left, I wish I had at least friended them on Facebook! I told you about Loc eating some foreign candy and feeling very dizzy on the ferry ride. The candy plus the lack of sleep probably put him over the edge. We got a ferry to Ko Samui and a flight from Ko Samui to Chiang Mai and arrived midafternoon. Upon getting there, we realized that the hostel we had booked was closed, but we soon found a new one. A guy in a tuk-tuk asked if needed a ride anywhere and we said YES! We wanted to go to the elephant sanctuary that day! The guy’s name was Jimmy and he had a little son named Joe. Jimmy was so sweet – he had even built a little child-sized seat into the tuk-tuk so that Joe could ride along. Jimmy and Joe took us to the elephant Sanctuary and chatted to each other the whole time. It was very sweet to see a father spending quality time with his son, even though he was working.

Jimmy dropped us off at the elephant sanctuary a little before 2 and we started the day by changing into these awesome pink hemp shirts and baggy pants and eating lunch. Soon our guide, Phonkneng took us to this tent to learn some elly language. Really the most important ones were “Dee dee!” which means “very good!” and “Bon Soong”, which means “open your mouth”. There was a pretty old mom elephant, Nong Luck, and a teenage elephant, Lanna, in the pen near the entrance, so we petted them and fed them a lot. Then Phonkneng walked us into the woods to see this other mom elephant, Uthai, and a 6 month old BEBE elephant, Waree! Before we started, Phonkneng was like “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I can see your but”. The pants were VERY baggy and confusing and I had tied them in a way that they were snug around my waist but apparently the material sagged below my but. I was v embarrassed for about 5 seconds but then I just laughed and fixed my pants.

We hugged and petted the baby elephant (Waree) and poured water on him and his mom. Phonkneng told us to push on the Waree’s head because he would push back, which was his version of playing. I pushed on his head and he pushed back and pushed me about 15 feet! I was afraid he was going to push me straight out of the pen (see attached photo)! Then Phonkneng and his coworker took us into the river where Nong Luck and Lanna were hanging out. Lanna was playing and splashing by herself a little upstream and Nong Luck was just chilling in the water. Phonkneng and his associate gave us this organic root/bamboo looking material and instructed us to wash the elephants. We washed the elephants and at one point the other supervisor guy picked up some poop and was chasing me around trying to touch me with poop – in the end I let him because I wasn’t getting out of it lol. Then he lifted me onto Nong Luck and I got to sit on top of her and wash her! It was so much fun! Except that Nong Luck kept reaching back and trying to eat the bamboo root thing (apparently its edible and that elephants like to eat this) and she was freaky strong and hard to swat away (see picture). Then Loc Emma and I were taking some posed pictures by the elephant and the other assistant guy snuck up behind me and grabbed my ankle and I thought it was a water snake and about died. I must look like a perfect victim or something. Then Loc Emma and I each got to stand over Nong Luck’s trunk and she lifted us into the air! I feel like I looked really goofy in my photos, so I will attach photos of Loc and Emma instead! See attached. We were all very sad when it was time to go but we begged Phonkneng to take us on as American volunteers. Unfortunately they did not allow volunteers yet at this particular sanctuary.

  TBC….