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notjuststardust · 5 months

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"I love you more than meat!" Luffyxreader

You get ghosted and in a chaotic turn of events end up hanging out at the carnival with Luffy for the day! This was meant to be a short drabble about carousels that shamelessly turned into this. Mutual pining and fluff with a touch of angst!

TW: Mentions of abandonment issues.

This morning had been the start of a good day or what was supposed to be a great day. Instead, it had given birth to a spectacle of chaos, leaving you alone to wander what was thought to be a joyous event with nothing but a shackle of despair to partner. Settling in a quaint corner of the festivities, you seated at a bench, observing the sparkle of infinite auburn redden the iridescent leaves of Firesky island as festival goers came and went. You were looking for 2 faces. You just wanted to see 2 familiar faces yet from the crowd came only strangers, faces smeared in cotton candy, grins infinite on their faces from Firesky’s island's yearly sunsets festival.

It wasn’t until the entrance was completely devoid of life that you’d realized what exactly had happened.

You had been ghosted.

It had been obvious since the moment you’d docked but you were no pessimist. After all, your crew had gone out of their way to be sneaky about your arrival (much to your rubber captains dismay), heck, Sanji had even cooked you a small tray of treats for your friends but now the tray was empty and so was the fair's entrance. A sour taste ran through your gut. Maybe they had written that they couldn’t attend and you just hadn’t gotten it yet.

That’s when you heard the screaming.

It was a familiar ululation yet with the fog of your distress it took more than just a moment to pinpoint that the squawking wasn’t from some buzzard in the trees. Your head snaps in the direction of a food stand down the way, locking in on the unmistakable yellow straw of your captains hat. His presence pulls a smile. Then a frown. What if he asked about your friends? Or the absence thereof?

“Please! I swear ‘ll pay ya’! I just need t’ run back to my ship real quick-“ Luffy’s plea earns a snort from you. This wasn’t the first time he’d forgotten his wallet and from the swell of noise from the shopkeeper you could tell your captain was being threatened with a sentence of work to pay off his debt of funnel cake, again.

Before Luffy says another word you pull a 20 from your pocket and etch the most charismatic grin you can muster. Though Luffy thinks it’s an expression that could make Princes bow the knee the shopkeeper isn’t impressed, muttering a quiet, “Women these days and their choice of men,” before you drag the rubber man along with you into the mess of people. You turn to give the man a scolding but before you can muster a word Luffy pulls you into a bone crushing embrace, nuzzling his face freckled in powdered sugar to your own as he shouts a thousand thanks to you.

“Thanks’a bunch! You totally saved me back there-“ you pull back, shaking your face in an attempt to discard of the powder but Luffy just cackles, licking his pointer and smudging a smiley face bolden your cheek. “Come on’, a smile suits’ ya’.” He chimes before he sees the unmistakable glitch of anger in your brow, smoke nearly blowing from your nostrils as you step out of his embrace.

“You were supposed to give me an hour.” However much to your denial it had been an hour an hour ago and now your body was clinging to something to be angry at. You sigh, remembering yourself, and of course, Luffy doesn’t understand. He just cocks his head.

“Yeah, but I couldn’t wait that long, I was hungry!” He protests, crossing his arms with an annoyed pout. “S’ not my fault you haven’t told your friends about me.” He looks around, your step faltering a beat. A pit grows in his stomach. Paying no mind to the other bystanders Luffy ostriches his neck over the crowd, peering into the souls of passerby in search of your companions only to boomerang his head back into place and find you several paces ahead, tears threatening to ruin the small touch of makeup Nami had prettied you up with. Luffy’s flip flops smack behind until they’re as loud as thunderclaps, his grip lacing you in place as he turns you to look at him.

“Luffy what-“

“Where are they?” His throat tightens. Had his lack of self control really scared them off? Was Nami right when she told him that his presence would ruin your long awaited special day? You never once asked for anything on the crew. Your only request since joining had been to go to this festival and see your friends so of course Luffy granted that but had he unknowingly damned his promise? His eyes were taut with worry, a frown verging his face.

Your brain stutters at his seriousness.

Gosh, he was going to be utterly wrathful if you admit the truth. You take a big breath and it’s obvious Luffy is braced for impact, the news that he was the reason your silly smile was absent from your face but that’s not at all what leaves your mouth.

“… I think they forgot.” You settle for, not ready nor wanting to admit the entirety of the situation. Your captain blinks once. Then twice. Then you shrug it off and that’s what makes his heart ache and his fists clench.

“Who could ever forget about you?” His words are pure confusion. He sees your throat bob and your chest heave. Dark brows furrowed, it clicks into place.

They hadn’t forgotten.

“Too bad.” He doesn’t let you ruminate, interlocking his fingers with yours and tugging you along in tow. You consider protesting but Luffy has easied into a content skip, settling right back into his cheer. He leads you further and further into the festival until buzzers and the grind of roller coasters bleeds your ears near deaf.

“Luffy, I want to go back to the ship.” You murmur, plea almost imperceptible underneath the whistles and hollers of the festivities. He doesn’t even nod, just pulling you glued to his side with a huge grin plastered on his face.

“Nah, yer stayin’!” He snickers at how your eyes nearly buzz out of your head.

“Why do I have to be stuck with you?” You blatant, no hint of joking in your voice. Manifesting the soul of a distressed goat he bleeds with offense, rearing his head back and huffing and puffing about how no one ever wants to spend time with him. You were about to go on about how his boredom was just too expensive to satiate until the mere thought frees the very solution previously missing buckling into your nose from the confines of his hat.

You clap a hand over your nose. Luffy stares as his leather projectile plops to the floor. His wallet.

“Hey! Found my wallet!” The joy of his found firstfruits wipes the debate straight from the straw-hat’s psyche. You snort, a smile cracking at your lips.

“For once.” You retort and he sticks his nose up, a knowing laugh blurting out.

“K, fine. Tabs on me!” He declares, raising the leather satchel in perceived triumph. Little did you know there was only a mere 50 dollar bill in its confines.

Luffy tells himself not to worry about it and starts leading you along again, stare moving back and fourth along all the options of fun as you merely shrug at the mention of them. There had to be something that would cheer you up and he’d use the rest of the money on that if it levied the weight off of your shoulders.

That’s when he sees it.

Pixies of awe resuscitate hope in your eyes, an almost childlike wonder spinning his head to see exactly what you’d had your eyes on. Was it the goldfish game you’d carried on about to Nami as he sat on the head of the Sunny or was it a super tall rollercoaster? He’s thrilled by even the thread of possibility, locking eyes with-

A carousel.

You don’t even have to ask before Luffy is sprinting at the contraption, busting past 2 groups of little kids racing to the ride. He secures a spot for you at the head, waving like a loon, uncaring as he shouts for you to run for it.

“Luffy, they’re kids. We should let them go ahead.” You tell him as you apologetically budge past the littles to union with Luffy again.

“Mm’ nah. Finders keepers!” Oh, right. Luffy was a 21 year old man child himself. The gates veer open and Luffy hurries to the opposite side of the contraption, pointing at a well kept black stallion gild in a bridle of gold. You whisper to him as you catch up, stretching a rubber arm to carry you to his side. “That kids’ got h’s eyes on my hors’..” he says directly into your ear, before he mounts his extravagant steed, pointing to the partner equine beside. You gawk.

“Hey, thats a kids pony!” Your squeals only send Luffy into a rapture of cackles, machine groaning into motion.You lurch for the safety, seating yourself in the rusted saddle of an ancient pony, tutued in moth eaten pink. You snort, side eyeing your captain whom observes you with not an ounce of pity even when you look up to him utterly rejected. Instead he seems almost delighted to see you throned atop something so… weird.

“You’re so short.” He eggs on with a little giggle, slapping his thigh as if he is the grandest comedian to grace the grand line until your eyes stop sparkling. Your cheeks are hot with shame and a sadness that rivals your earlier depression comes to light.

“No, I look stupid.” You counter no remainders of your earlier enthrallment, glowering around as the carousel muses out some outdated song of melancholic violin as if to challenge your earlier miseries.

“C’mere,” Luffy tuts, refusing you the luxury of choice to pick the latter. His arms take a knowing gander, rubber limbs scooping you from the seat of your malformed ballerina horse to plop you down cozy at the pommel of his own steed. “S’ we look stupid together.” He chimes much too comfortably into the shell of your ear, stomach pressed flat against your back as he flashes you a winning grin. You’d could have called it romantic if his next words didn’t blast your eardrums from the inside out. “Cheese!” You bark out a laugh as he throws up a peace sign to some photographer in the crowd, uncaring that you both are probably violating a million safety rules during your artificial gallop.

After the ride is over you both get a proper scolding from the staff. “You put everyone in that ride in danger!” You almost retort that the ride itself was a threat to any semblance of society due to the obvious repairs it needed until you notice the silence. You’d thought Luffy would have said that for you but instead hes mumbling out some half baked apology, eyes grazing over the heads of the crowd for target. He’s looking for someone and he’s not going to find them standing here.

“Sorry, wont happen again sir!” You apologize profusely, whipping your head in the direction that Luffy had disappeared into to find him honed in on something in the distance. “Luffy-” You call, sprinting in the direction of a meat stand you assumed him to be running at but he darts past it without a second thought. Before you can register what exactly is happening Luffy has his arms around a screaming and squirming civilian. “Luffy, what the heck did he do?” But Luffy’s too far away and too focused to hear a word, clueless as to why his target is begging for his life.

“Why’re ya cryin’? I’m just tryn’a get one of those pictures you’ve got of us s’ all.” Luffy’s words are casual, unbothered and certainly not angry like you and the photographer had assumed. The photographer gawks at the realization and relief returns the color to his cheeks, looking to you of all people to clarify that your friend was indeed not a threat. You nod but a laugh bubbles over and its not because its funny.

“Oh, right. Yeah.. I can do that.” As the photographer prints the photo from his camera Luffy pops a look in your direction with a soft ‘hmm?’. You don’t dare tell him that you too had thought Luffy was about to jump the poor guy. The camera juts out a Polaroid and Luffy rips it from the mouth, primal joy blown celestial in the soft crinkle of his nose. He smacks the image around until he can view his bounty. Satisfied, Luffy starts to trod off with a jovial ‘thanks’ forgetting to pay the guy for the trouble.

That he does as soon you give him a reminding shout. 5 dollars for the photo and another 10 for the emotional distress he’d caused. A steal in Luffy’s opinion as he secures his trophy in the ribbon of his hat, trodding on his merry way as if nothing at all had just happened.

You snort and fall in step with one another, continuing your venture this time unncaring of exactly what activities commence for now your excitement is a charge, not a distraction and Luffy thanks whatever being knits the universe together for it. Luffy’s mood only halo’s along with yours. His untired chaos is a convincing beam persuading the tear stains to weigh a little lighter and the games you had earlier complained as being rigged to become challenges instead of inconveniences. Now you won’t stop playing any of them until you’ve beaten more than Luffy.

Thats until amidst your smack talk he realizes that his wallet is empty.

“10 to 10,” You grumble. “You have advantages anyway because of your haki, i’m sure one more and I’ll whoop your butt.” You nearly plonk over as you sway with newfound tiredness, stride a zig zag that your captain follows subconsciously until you release a gargantuan yawn right into his face. He snickers.

“M’ out v’ money, sorry.” He relents, observing you for any sign of disappointment but you just hum and straighten up to look his way. He nearly flatlines.

“My bad, speaking of which, we should get some food in you,” the words are muffled by the bronzing of your irises. They’ve adopted ethereal flame crowning him king in the reflection of your pupils. “Luffy?” You chime as his heart leaps into his throat.

He could just hear Zoro calling him an oblivious idiot and for once he wouldn’t argue. Couldn’t argue because the sunset had practically just claimed you his queen.

“Hmm?” He tries to casual before his stomach roars shamelessly. “Oops.” He scratches the back of his neck, cheeks pelting pink when your expression sours with guilt.

“No problem.” You burrow a hand into your dress and out comes a granola bar. He gawks, heart thundering as you remind him of why he started to like you in the first place: you always had food. “My bad.” You ruffle his hair as he vacuums down nearly both the wrapper and snack as one, making way the opposite of him. “I can’t believe you didn’t say anything. I’ll grab you a burger.” You mutter, leaving Luffy to processing as you do some of your own by the burger stand.

There’s a feeling that verges guilt ebbing below the layers of festival dress you adorn, doubling your spending to appease the reminder soiling that turbulent peace that you had abandoned to feed. Luffy didn’t need to spend the day with you. He wasn’t supposed to anyway. You start to question his resolve, mulling over the details to count how many fake smiles he had shot your way.

The number comes to none as you pay and retrieve 2 meat lovers burgers from the attendant and make your way back to where your captain waits.

Where he was supposed to be waiting if he hadn’t decided that being somewhere else was more fun. You nearly drop his food. Nostalgic panic storming the calvary of flesh beneath.

Of course he’d left.

Tears threaten the floodgates before a boasting shout masters the nausea. You freeze and without a single ounce of warning you’re airborne with a rubber arm blown taut around your waist. Then you’re nose to nose with the missing moron.

You bark out a sound between a laugh and a sob.

“You could have told me you were going somewhere else!” Your hands reach to wipe a tear, intercepted by a telling grip.

“Who made ya cry?” You silence at his intense stare, biting your tongue as to keep your tongue from confessing. His grip loosens and trails to pull your forehead to his. “S’rry. I should h’ve told you.” He mutters, stupid from the lack of forethought about your earlier ghosting. You shove the burger to his mouth. Taking that as a sign of forgiveness, Luffy takes a chomp, hand cupping your cheeks to crank your neck to show you why he’d done it. His munching is drowned out by an amber cast reaching from the horizon to lap up the navy of the coming evening. The pelt of stars was in rival with the fire of the horizon, the island's name ringing blatant for all to see.

“Oh my gosh,” now tears threaten for a different reason and its certainly not because you’re upset. “How does it do that?!” You look to Luffy and he grins.

“Dunno, but its cool, right?” You nod, eyes catching the eternal autumn of this islands maples refracting crystalline against the aurora. You babble on about something to do with cone receptors and rods while Luffy nods in support of your hypothesis until the ferris wheel whines with movement. You lurch for your captain for some illusion of safety. He howls out a laugh and merely grins at your terror. “Are all of the rides on the verge of death here?” You complain as Luffy swallows the remains of his food, scooting you closer to him.

“S’ okay! I can protect you. Just hold onto me, k?” He snickers, quieting when you give him a soft glare.

“Why are you making that face?” Your snort does nothing to bay the laughter whispering in your gut as he tries to screw his face back to any ounce of normalcy.

“V’ got a surprise for you in a minute. Just you wait-” he hums with a too proud grin as you pale past death.

“I knew it! You better not toss me out of the ride or do anything crazy or I’ll kill you-” He revels with jest, slapping his knee that only sends the ferris wheel car swinging like a pendulum.. “Luffy-!” Your scolding does nothing to deter his delight, peaking as you hold onto him for dear life. He hums and cocks his head at your undoubtedly nervous giggles.

Did you seriously think he would do that with precious cargo on board?

“Oh come on, m’ not that crazy! I’m just gonna confess to you at the top is all!” He soothes, smoothing out a stray hair on your head to calm you but he's only sent you down a pit of overthought scenarios. He however, is innocent as ever, a pillar of calm despite the ebbing worm of anxiety inching your tummy. You’re quiet now but theres this weird look on your face like he’s just told you something he shouldn’t have. “You’re blushing.” Luffy points to your nose pelting red.

“No friggin duh Luffy!” You face palm and chortle, brain scrambled by his deafness to his own volume. “You just told me that you’re gonna confess. You know that, right?” You inquire and Luffy blinks.

“Okay?” His lips scrunch up into a pout, rehearsing a well practiced grumble. “I could just confess that Sanji whispered the fridge code out during the night and that's why we keep running low on meat-”

“Monkey D Luffy!” He explodes with laughter, slapping a hand over your mouth with a wicked mischief brewing behind his eyes.

“You can’t go tellin’ on me or its not’a secret anymore, k?” He leans a breaths length away, eyes lasering into yours. You nod in hesitant agreeance as the machine slows toward the top. His tongue ties itself into knots when you reach your destination. He removes his hand, remembering his purpose when your small port on sunset chugs past the peak, his mouth left open in pure shock. “Hey!” Luffy nearly throws himself out of the cart to search for the attendant below. “Stop the ride! You promised!” The skeleton of the ferris wheel trembles with his uproar, a tirade of desperate demands slipping past his lips as the romantic view slips away.

“Hey, look at me Luff-” He gives you a look that could kill.

“No, s’ not fine. He promised t’a wait.” The statement hits you like a projectile brick.

“You planned this?” Your brows hike, cocking your head. He doesn’t answer

“Kinda, like 4 minutes’ ago. Thought you’d like it’.”

“I would but it's not a big deal.” Your assurance does nothing to quell his unspent wrath.

“Yes it is! I need to tell you!” His certainty is inerrant, voice carrying no compromise as others rise up in protest. Of course he started a rebellion ‘for love’ on the ferris wheel.

“Do you not believe in love? Let the poor guy tell her how he feels!” You bite back a laugh as the man below shouts. “Take them to the top so they can kiss!” A group of little girls shriek from the cart above and Luffy joins their hollers. The phrase ‘for love’ trumpets throughout the surrounding area until peer pressure proves effective.

Finally.

Cheers surmount the wheel and Luffy tosses a look over his shoulder, gifting you a thumbs up.

“See? V’ got it all under control.” He plops backward beside you with a content hum. You sit in stiff stillness while Luffy lounges without a worry. He eyes you over and softly chuckles, poking your thigh. “Ya nervous?” He wagers, scooting a bit closer to you. Your mouth guppies, cheeks alight as you peek at the honeying horizon near blazon with the peak nearing once again.

“I don’t know. Isn’t this even a little bit nerve wracking for you?” You honest and Luffy considers the hypothesis.

“Nah.” he scratches the back of his neck with an easy shrug as if he didn’t just nearly ascend with the mere thought of this not going to plan.

“What do you mean ‘nah’?” You nearly laugh as his eyebrows swivel and he stares.

“Whats embarrassing about loving you?” You blank at his words. The ferris wheel eases at its noon and your heart flutters. You tried to think of an answer but the ones that came were less than satisfactory.

“I guess you’re.. Right.” You slowly admit, gracing him a teeny smile that makes him suck in his breath. Oh gosh. He fumbles for the proper words, his heart beating like its going to rip out of his chest. “It’s just you.” You murmur to yourself and the reminder is one that permissions him to take the leap.

It was just you. How embarrassing could it be?

“I love you more than meat!” His words blurt out like clumsy toddlers off a playground. He’s sweating buckets, bottom lip sucked dry between his teeth yet there is not an ounce of shame on his face. Even if it did pull groans from every bystander it was true and from the heart, undoubtedly Luffy.

The man is just about convinced that you brought him up here just to reject him when you break into an unrestrained cackle.

“I love you more!” The breath knocks out of him. A startled laugh ripping through the tension in his gut. He pulls you into a bone rearranging hug, burying his nose into the alcove of your neck to breathe in your scent.

Then he stops breathing and pulls back.

“Liar!” He bawks, pulling back to look at you like you’ve grown two heads. “I love you way way more!” He argues tone sober with conviction. You blink and a cheeky grin cements across your features.

You still had one order of unfinished business with him.

“Not enough to kiss me first-” Your mouth doesn’t give him time to even breathe a syllable. You crash into him in a passionate kiss. It's a clumsy dance of inexperience and it doesn’t help that Luffy is laughing in the middle of it but it's sweet and it's yours. You pull back and give him a sly grin. “10 to 10.” He processes a beat before betrayal marrs his features.

“No fair! A kiss isn’t a carnival game!” Though he bleets with annoyance he's quick to keep you glued to his side, head nosed up onto your shoulder even as he pouts. “You only kissed me for competition…” he whines as you get off the ride.

“That's not true-” You stop dead at the sound of a low whistle.

Zoro, smug as a cat thats knocked over a glass of water stands beside the rest of the other strawhats.

“About time.” Sanji says after a drag from his cigarette.

“I can’t believe it took all day, Luffy… she was probably so bummed.” Nami complains, referring to you as she shakes her head and motions to two of your own familiar faces. “If Luffy hasn’t told you already, your friends are coming to spend the night.” You turn to Luffy whose brows pop.

“Luffy,” You say so slowly as his cheeks flush with remembrance.

“Oh, ya. Forgot t’ tell ya y’r friends came by the ship to surprise you-” a vein pops in your forehead. “S’rry, kind f’ forgot havin’ ya all to myself.” He mumbles with his best innocent look. You gentle just a bit.

“I forgive you.” Thats a quiet 'shi shi shi' whisps his lips.

“Good, 11 to 10 then!”

“Monkey D Luffy!”

#luffy x reader #one piece x reader #one piece imagine #one piece headcanons #monkey d luffy x reader #monkey d luffy headcanons #monkey d. luffy #luffy #straw hat luffy #one piece x reader fluff

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milaisreading · 1 year

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HIIII i love ur posts!!

Can i request a tired or mentally drained and at one point she breaks down on front of the bllk boys and all of them start panicking or trying to comfort her? 😭😅

I've been tired cuz exam season ( >:p ) "and i wanna cry but i physically can't ( idk why? ) and i want some comfort sooooo.... yeah!

if u dont wanna its cool :)

byeeee❤️❤️

Author: I FEEL U! I have been feeling soo drained and useless ever since my exams finished. Literally can't even relax during this small break I got:// Anyways, I hope u like this! Thanks for the request🩷

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

On any normal day (Y/n) didn't mind the chaos the boys caused her, after all they were under a lot of pressure, so she let them unwind while cleaning up after them. But today was not one of those days. Ever since the preparations for the next Blue Lock phase started she felt like they were more and more chaotic, while she was losing herself more and more in all of her work. The whole week was just a whole mess for her, from running errands for Anri and Ego, to breaking up fights between the teammates, she just felt like giving up. Right now, she was enjoying some quiet time in the lunch hall, just drinking some tea while fighting back sleep.

"This morning was so tiring...." She winced while grabbing her stomach. This morning, Rin accidentally kicked the football past the goal, which ended up hitting (Y/n) in the stomach. This caused a loud argument between the captain, Isagi and Barou. (Y/n) tried to stop them, but the fussing coming from Aryu and Hiori stopped her. She was annoyed that they didn't let her handle the issue, instead Kurona and Yukimiya ended up dragging her toward the infirmary.

Next thing that happened was an hour after the first incident. Karasu and Otoya were practicing with Bachira and Aryu, (Y/n) was as usually sitting and taking down the stats of the 4. Nothing unusual. Until Bachira decided to goof around with the football and yell at (Y/n) to watch him do some tricks. She admitted, they were impressive, and she commented on how great they are. Her comments along with the impressed look on her face caused the other three to start doing the same. The problem was that there were 4 of them and (Y/n) would have to look every 2 seconds at a different player, which did make her dizzy. Ego had noticed the commotion and yelled at all 5 of them to get back to training.

The 3rd incident happened barely an hour ago at lunch time. (Y/n) was sitting with Gagamaru, Isagi and Chigiri during the time, and while talking with the 3, she didn't notice an argument between Kunigami and Nagi unfolding. Everyone knew that (Y/n) barely ever ate her dessert, it had too much protein, so she would always left it to one of the players to eat. The dessert was pretty much the highlight of their day and the team agreed on whoever got the most points for the day, will get the sweet treat. This arrangement worked for 2 months, but today was the first time that two players were tied in points.

Kunigami and Nagi were both known to be level headed and somewhat apathetic towards everything, except when it comes to their manager and her attention, that's when both are pretty much irrational.

"I think you seem to misunderstood me, Nagi. I am getting it today." Kunigami said, sending a tight smile towards the albino.

"And you seemed to have misunderstood me, Kunigami. But that pudding is mine."

"Calm down, you two." Niko rolled his eyes, still mad that he lost this time.

(Y/n), blissfully unaware of that whole agreement, noticed Gagamaru staring at her dessert. Knowing she won't eat it anyways, she decided to give it to him.

"Here. I won't eat. Hope you like strawberry flavor." She said, handing the surprised Gagamaru her food.

Chigiri and Isagi gasped silently. They shortly sent the flustered goalie jealous glares before looking at Kunigami and Nagi, who were staring degers at Gagamaru.

"A-are you sure?" The boy asked as (Y/n) nodded her head, smiling warmly at the boy.

"Of course-"

"Gagamaru, you traitor!" The two flinched and looked in surprise at Nagi.

"Ha?" (Y/n) panicked a little as she saw Kunigami and Nagi glaring at the duo.

"Keep it down, you two." Reo rolled his eyes, earning a nod from Tokimitsu.

"M-maybe we should let Gagamaru have-"

"Shut it, Tokimitsu!" Kunigami and Nagi yelled and then started arguing with Gagamaru. It eventually spread across the whole lunch room, and (Y/n) started twitching a little. Nobody was listening to her as she tried to calm it down. Was it the exhaustion or pure desperation to shut everyone up, but (Y/n) eventually started crying silently. Lost in her own thoughts while crying, she wasn't paying attention to what the rest were saying.

"I am the fastest. The dessert is mine!" Chigiri earned a show from Aryu at that.

"You forget I was in the top3 and I am the one with the better hair."

"Oh, shut up you peasants! You all are beneath me and (Y/n), therefore the pudding is mine."

"Says who? You, Barou? You do not have the charm to be anywhere near (Y/n)."

"Otoya, you cheated on your girlfriends. What makes you think you are worthy?" Yukimiya sighed.

"And what about you, Yukimiya? You are so plain, there is no way she will fall for you. Now me on the other hand-"

"Oh, shut up Karasu. Your charms are below Antarctica's temperatures." Niko groaned.

"I think the cutest one of us should get the pudding. So me-"

"Bachira, that would be me. I am also the ace, so that's just a bonus." Isagi smiled, earning a glare from Rin

"Pipe it down, you two can barely pick up a 2nd language." The captain added in.

"English is hard." The two protested.

"I think the richest one should have a say in the dessert." Reo smirked, earning louder protests.

Tokimitsu shivered a little in fright and looked over at (Y/n), freezing for a moment as he saw her crying.

"What's up, Tokimitsu?" Hiori wondered, one of the few who decided not to argue. Kurona looked over to where Tokimitsu was looking, and his eyes widened in surprise as he saw her crying too. He nudged Hiori.

"Look." Kurona said and the cyan-haired boy looked at (Y/n). He wasted no time and ran to her side, followed by Tokimitsu and Kurona.

"He-hey, don't take it to heart. They are stupid like that." Tokimitsu said as he patted the sobbing girl's back. Kurona and Hiori moved closer, both trying to calm her down, all three felt their hearts breaking as they watched her cry. The room grew slowly quiet too, as the rest looked at (Y/n) in concern and guilt.

"(Y/n)...." Chigiri gulped.

"It's just hard to keep up with you all. You keep arguing and destroying things at times... and it's just hard to keep up... I can usually take it, but I guess today isn't my day." A wave of guilt hit the team as they quickly scrambled for the right words. The last thing they wanted was for their (Y/n) to cry, or worse, contemplate on leaving them.

"Tokimitsu, go and take (Y/n) somewhere quiet to calm down. The rest of you stay here." Rin said, quickly getting unto his captain mode. The rest said nothing, deciding not to make things worse, and they watched with guilt and sadness as (Y/n) got dragged out by Tokimitsu.

"Alright, listen up." Rin spoke up, causing the rest to look at him.

"We need to pull our shit together, unless we want (Y/n) to leave and for some other manager to replace her. The team pretty much shuddered at the idea, there was no way someone will replace her!

"So, what's your idea, captain?" Barou wondered.

"I will tell you, but first... Reo, I need you to do some calls." The billionaire heir raised his eyebrow and slowly nodded his head.

And soo, that was what had happened. (Y/n) ended up crying for about 30 minutes as Tokimitsu stayed around, just in case. The boy was collected and calm, no sign of his previous fidgety demeanor. After she calmed down, she apologized to Tokimitsu for inconveniencing him, but the boy didn't mind.

"If you feel down again, don't be afraid to tell us. We will listen." The boy said with a smile, which calmed her down a lot.

After lunch, she went back to her normal duties, helping the other staff members and the team out. To her surprise, they didn't cause any ruckus, they were calm and friendly. Even Rin, Isagi and Barou stayed away from arguing with each other. Unbeknownst to her, whenever a staff member tried to scold her, Karasu, Aryu and Nagi would send them warning glares. They alone caused them to back off quickly. All in all, the day went pretty well, and (Y/n) felt a lot lighter now. She slowly walked into her bedroom, and stopped at the entrance as she noticed a box on her bed. Slowly walking towards it, she looked at the note on the box and slowly started reading it. (Y/n)'s eyes widened a little as she read it through, realizing that the team sent her this, and her heart melted at the apology they wrote out.

'They are chaotic... but I love them like that.' She smiled and slowly opened the box, only to find various treats that she could only buy outside of Blue Lock's facility, she even got a small (f/c) bear.

'They probably made Reo get this...' She chuckled and plopped on the bed, hugging the bear close to herself.

'I will make it up to them... maybe Teieri-san can help me get them some small gift next week.' She thought, slowly falling asleep.

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romanarose · 9 months

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Favorites of 2023

Hi! I've seen a lot people doing these so I thought I would too!

These are all sorts of Oscar Issac/Pedro Pascal fics that delighted me this year <3

I tried to keep it to one rec per author just because I have soooooo many friends with wonderful fics and blogs who deserve recognition

If yours didn't make it, NO FEAR you are still wonderful to me <3

Everything is labeled properly in the fic so be warned, many of this contains dark!

3 series that I couldn't stop thinking about

Hungry Hearts By @atinylittlepain: The Last of Us, A Bruce Springsteen themed Joel series? SHEEEEEEEESH

Yearling by @justagalwhowrites : The Last of Us, Jackson!Joel and a victim of prolonged sexual assault. If you know me, you know I love a traumatized reader healing with the power of love and friendship

The Fractured Moon by @melodygatesauthor : Moon Knight, NON CON, dark moon boys is always a slay but the way Marc is so tortured and Steven is so needy?!?!?!?! Mels characterization of Steven may or may not have influenced my Ben in ROF

Three fics that rewired my brain

On the Waterfront by @beefrobeefcal : Triple Frontier, Now, I've always loved a tubby man with a belly (who else had a crush on Samwise Gamgee in LOTR?) BUT DARK FRANKIE?!?!?!?! Turned it into a full obsession.

I can be your pretty girl by @walkintotheriveranddisappear : The Last of Us, Wow, I devoured every single chapter!!! I thinka bout it so much, ESPECIALLY that scene with Tommy... I've never looked at a pool ball the same way.

Dancing With Wolves by @hon3yboy : Moon Knight, Now, I'm not the biggest monster fucker out there, but this?!?!?!?! WEREWOLF MARC SPECTOR??? Unwell about it.

3 times men jerking off was hot

Caught by @toxicanonymity : The Last of Us, I've mentioned in the authors note for Keep Cry'n that this fic inspired it, it's one I go back to allllll the time

Take Care of me Tonight by @missdictatorme : Moon Knight, Jake is horny and lonely and jerks of..... reader helps, and makes our boy feel special <3

Pent Up by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin : Narcos, Javi is... well... pent up, needs to let loose! and boy does he.

4 times it got gay bc something is wrong with me and I couldn't decide

Behind Enemy Lines by @astroboots : Triple Frontier, Y'all know how much I love this series, seeing as I wrote a fic for it XD but this chapter is something i always hold close <3

Captain of the team by @writefightandflightclub : Triple Frontier, MAAAAAANNNNN this fic is why I will never be the same as a person.

Trine by @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction : Sucker Punch. Anyone who reader blue jones should be reading this. Incredible.

What if he never had to go? by @velocibeewords : Triple Frontier, The infamous series I read on my friend bachelorette weekend! So good I couldn't put it down, going so far as to read it at a casino XD Benny and Santi, my babies

3 times underused characters shined

Oxford Comma by @whatthefishh : The Two Faces of January, Tell me, how does someone take a character with almost no following and make a series so damn beloved by many??? Only Mona could.

My Ex's Tapes by @runa-falls : Lighteningface, Basil Stilt AND Jake Lockley??!?! God bless this mess hnnggggg

I'm Getting What's Mine by @winniethewife : The Card Counter, dub con, I think we as a society need more William Tell, and sensory deprivation to break down reader? Amazing.

3 times they talked dirty to me *trumpet noises*

Not a Survivalist Girl by @tightjeansjavi and @chaotic-mystery : The Last of Us, when they finally fuck??? HELLO?!?!! unreal

Only Daddy That'll Walk the Line by @millerscoffee : The Last of Us, Joel is so degrading and condescending in this I think about it so much it's fucking unreal.

Making Trouble by @juneknight : Moon Knight, The fic that completly fried the brains of the moon knight fandom. "You cried like I was killing you—except you were begging me not to stop" yeah. Yeah...

3 times there were three or more

The story of us by @pimosworld : Triple Frontier, This series has a special place in heart bc Priscilla said I influenced a lo of it with the characterizations and thats such a big honor. Priscilla Is so talented and I adore how she writes these guys... and the FishBen wins my heart

Eyes on Me by @cavillscurls : The Last of Us, Soft Joel? Tommy watches? AFTERCARE?!?!?! Y'all know how much I love aftercare.... I should read this again shouldn't I?

Run the Table by @katiexpunk : The Last of Us, MORE TOMMY JOEL THREESOME! MORE!!!! This one came out recently so its still fresh in my mind

3 Times I should NOT have been into that

No Soul to Sell @atticrissfinch : The Last of Us, NON CON V DARK, this is the fic that made me like... yeah I'm into piss. No doubt. It was so dark and hot ;-;

Plushies Series by @pedge-page The Last of Us, Haru knows how much I love this, and it was a toss up between this and their piss kink but seeing as I got that above.... plushes needs more love bc its so soft and domestic and horny <3

Plaything by @missannwinchester : The Last of Us, wow, I adored this fic… then I lost it!!!! Thank you to everyone who helped find it bc it’s one of my favs. I wanna be Joel’s lil doll he dresses up 🥺

3 times I said “this is underrated af”

No One But Me by @koshkamartell : The Last of Us, Are y'all tired of me talking about this fic yet? Koshka told me my series The Wrong Way inspired this so it's special to my heart <3

Safe by @criticallyacclaimedstranger and @apascalrascal : Triple Frontier, Cal has so many good Frankie one shots it was hard to pick, but this one is sooooo soft. We love Frankie being willing to listen and learn.

Through the Scope by @ssuperficialspacecadett : Triple Frontier, Y'all know I love a traumatized reader learning to heal, but his fic is fantastic bc it's a traumatized reader who has done a lot of the work already and is strong and brave as it is <3 Also, all 4 of the guys are her friends now which is the best way to have a fic

Thank you all soooooo much for all these amazing fics and for a great 2023! Well. Not so great, I had terrible time lol but y'all were my solace <3

If you feel so inclined, check out my best of year wrapped for both RomanaRose and Romana-after-dark

I'm not gonna say 2024 is my year, I leanred my lesson XD I am approaching 2024 with RESPECT. It will be the year it is.

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lookwhatyoumademedohaha · 1 year

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The One Where Kaz Brekker Considers His Life Choices

Summary: Kaz Brekker is a deadly Barrel Boss who has the most dangerous task at hand... To deal with the chaotic shenanigans that you pull with the Crows.

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Reader, Six of Crows X Platonic! Reader.

Warnings: Lots of humour, fluff, chaotic energy of our Crows.

A/N: So I'm down with a terrible cold and fever and in my delirium, I came up with this story inspired by John Oliver and B99. I hope you like it. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Happy reading!

"Dammit." muttered Kaz under his breath as he searched for your face through the Crow Club because he was a hundred percent certain that you were responsible for his present headache as he controlled himself "No, I love Y/N, she's my friend, she's my friend who is good at her job..."

Kaz was fairly certain he looked like a lunatic but finally he spotted you at the Crows private table laughing with your friends.

He marched up to you with his stony expression as he overheard Jesper announcing his plans "I think I might customize my revolvers."

Wylan immediately interjected "What? How are you going to do that?"

"I was thinking really bright colours like purple,pink and orange to match my outfits and maybe engrave my name." said Jesper thoughtfully while all of them rolled their eyes and laughed "I mean, it's going to be so much fun!"

"Oh yes! So fun! Absolutely fun!" you mocked Jesper in a high pitched tone as you smirked at him "Or when you commit murderer, a grave oversight on your part. Good news Chief, we found Fahey's revolvers at the murder scene."

Jesper stuck out his tongue at you childishly while you replied sarcastically "We do not know what motivated him to go on a killing spree but he had a lot of fun with it."

Kaz stood behind you "Y/L/N"

"Ah Kaz, you're looking very happy today." said Nina brightly as she greeted him infuriatingly "Let us guess what happened based on your facial expression. You got offered a job with a lot of Kruge and high stakes?"

Inej joined in the fun "Pekka Rollins finally died?"

Maththias' smirked "He found a life of charity and prayer."

Everyone nodded in agreement and Wylan grinned "He's about to reveal that he's actually Nikolai Lantsov!"

"Saints! Wylan, he's about to reveal that he's secretly married to me and has secretly raised my baby!" cried Jesper dramatically as Kaz thought of resignation from this life.

"All of these options is probable. But I know the Captain. He's having a meltdown." you announced dramatically exasperating Kaz who hadn't got one word in since this conversation started.

Matthias looked at you pointedly and then at Kaz "What are you talking about? The demjin looks the same as he always does."

"To you perhaps. But I have mastered the art of reading his emotions. His lips are tightly sealed, he's gripping onto his cane as if he's trying to control himself and he's blinking at his three second intervals as opposed to his nine." you observed Kaz closely with a knowing smile surprising Kaz who was tongue tied and speechless that you could easily read him "Therefore, he's having a meltdown!"

Wylan intervened as he shook his head at you fondly "That seems excessive."

You grinned "No, I'm impressive."

Nina knew that you were telling the truth based on Kaz' heartbeat she heard as she queried sweetly "So Waffles, is everything okay?"

Kaz glared at Nina and then at you "No. I'm having a meltdown."

Wylan and Matthias gasped at you as if you were a Saint "Wow."

Kaz decided to speak before anyone could interfere "Who the hell is responsible for the mess?"

"You have to be more specific about which mess given out daily life experience." retorted Nina sassily.

Kaz eyebrows furrowed deeply "Alright. The slogan outside the Crow Club and the Slat? Who did it?"

There was silence as everyone pointed toward you who looked unremorseful as you smirked at Kaz who was fuming in rage as he turned his dangerous gaze upon you "As I suspected. Now you better have a goddamn good reason as to why you would do such a silly, stupid, idiotic act?"

You looked completely calm for a person who was about to feel Kaz Brekker's wrath "Clear communication and marketing to our customers."

Kaz couldn't quite comprehend what you said as he stuttered "Excuse me?"

"Well Kaz, to tell you the truth, people in Ketterdam weren't really clear on where we were coming from... you know our main objective as to why we steal,maim and kill so much." you explained nonchalantly and calmly that made Kaz feel as if he was the idiot in this conversation. "So we put up a slogan to educate everyone in Ketterdam, our objective in pursuing destruction and crime."

"It's rather a genius slogan, Y/N." praised Inej with a kind smile "The ones we came up with were sloppy and funny but Y/N understood the assignment."

Kaz realized that you had come up with the goddamn slogan yourself as he literally let out all his exasperation out "Yes but did the slogan of the Dregs have to be BECAUSE DEATH IS THE UNDENIABLE FUEL OF LIFE!'"

"I think it's very classy, professional and straightforward conveying the necessary message." commented Matthias with honest admiration for your work and grinned at how red the demjin was "People won't like it but at least they'll understand and respect where you come from."

All of them exchanged mischievous glances as they saw Kaz close to spontaneously combusting and had to hand it to you. This was the best prank they played on Kaz and honestly at this point, you should be appointed as the Prank master General of the Dregs.

"I can't believe you would do something so stupid!" burst out Kaz in despair and anger.

You remained completely unfazed while Nina, Matthias, Wylan, Jesper and Inej snickered in unison "Can't you?"

"Shut it! I know you lot encouraged her to do this." snapped Kaz in frustration as he pointed at the rest of his friends who grinned

Kaz looked at you once again as he took a deep breath "And why did you place this slogan in bright and glittering colours as bright as Jesper's irritating fashion sense?"

"Because people are more attracted to bright colours and like glitter. Like if I saw that message in black, I'd be afraid but since it's in pretty bold sparkling colours, everyone kind of digs it." you said smartly while the rest of the Crowd clapped proudly for you "They are not like afraid. They are more like... Oh my god Kaz Brekker is about to murder me. Go right ahead Kazzle Dazzle, just whack me -"

"Alright thank you, that's enough." interrupted Kaz hastily and briskly because he did not want to hear the end of the sentence.

Amidst the Crows loud laughter, Jesper hooted "They're like... I'd die for Kaz Brekker and honestly he'll let me. Brutal!"

"The way I consider murder illegal but if Kaz Brekker is doing it, make me the victim." replied Wylan with a teasing smirk.

"CHOKE ME TO DEATH DADDY BREKKER, HALLELUJAH!" you yelled loudly as you raised your glass while Kaz was completely red in the face, embarrassed by his friends drunk shenanigans and chaotic energies.

"Daddy... It's a kink isn't it? It's like a paternal thing?" explained Nina with a wink to Maththias' who had inquired about it.

"Alright Freud." retorted Kaz rolling his eyes at Nina who laughed as he hoped to shut down this conversation quickly "I don't understand why you chose that particular slogan. It sounds like an excerpt from a letter of a serial killer!"

You looked at Kaz with a deadpanned expression "How many killings does it take for a person to be a serial killer?"

Kaz was slightly taken aback but answered nevertheless "Er... Five?"

"Great. We're all serial killers." sighed Jesper dramatically as he looked pointedly at Kaz who obviously had the highest body count.

"Not me." stated Wylan with an innocent smile.

"Bitch please!" chorused everyone together in disbelief as they glared at Wylan who was hiding a grin and you added "You have the second highest body count and you're relatively new."

Jesper grinned as he placed a kiss on Wylan "Well that's my man! He's spectacular at everything he does!"

Kaz gave up. There was no point talking to you.

"Fine. Those slogans are to be taken down tonight -" began Kaz when Rotty came toward them

"Sorry to interrupt boss but there are more than eighteen people and some other gang members queued outside waiting to be initiated as part of the Dregs."

You smirked into your drink as you heard Kaz retort "What is the meaning of this?"

"Uh... The new slogan is real popular boss. People want to be part of the Dregs because we showed them out vision and they like it." said Rotty vibrating in excitement "Also, the customers are pouring in more boss! I think it's the glitter they like -"

"Thank you Rotty. I'll attend to it. Dismissed." said Kaz as he felt your infuriating and insufferable smirk burn a hole through his skull.

"Oh Captain... I believe it's time to say those very special words." you crooned sweetly as you watched Kaz' lips twitch once.

"Y/L/N... you're a genius." stated Kaz in a deadpanned expression and watched in amusement as you nearly choked on your drink while the rest of the Crows were checking their drinks for toxin trips.

You squealed in delight "OH MY GOD! YOU ACTUALLY SAID IT! IT'S REAL!"

"I heard you practicing it to yourself in your room last night." said Kaz calmly and deadpanned as he smirked at how your enthusiasm slightly faded but you were still grinning.

You nodded "That makes more sense. So are you like now going to give me a raise, or a -"

"You're an idiot, Y/N." said Kaz with a subtle exasperated and amused smile and walked away.

"THANK YOU? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY THANK YOU CROWFATHER!" you yelled out loud in exasperation and amusement as everyone laughed.

Inej smiled "Honestly, I didn't expect the prank to turn into something profitable."

Jesper frowned slightly "Yeah it kind ruins it all, doesn't it?"

"Never fear my friends. Kaz is a prankster's delight." you replied with a delightful smile, mischief glinting in your eyes.

Before anyone could ask what you meant, Kaz Brekker's mad voice rumbled across the Crow Club "Y/N Y/L/N! WHAT ARE ALL THESE CONGRATULATORY LETTERS I'VE RECEIVED FROM DIGNITARIES ALL OVER THE WORLD ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM TO BE MARRIED TO THAT STRUTTING PEACOCK ZOYA NAZALENZKY AT THE CHURCH OF BARTER IN KETTERDAM IN TWO DAYS?"

"What?" exclaimed Jesper in amazement

Nina, Wylan, Inej and you exchanged amused stares "Who's going to tell him Zoya is in on this and is actually coming here tonight?"

"You know what, never change, Y/N." said Matthias looking at you affectionately and then looked alarmed because he saw the demjin marching toward you "But you better run or you'll be in trouble with the demjin!"

"Trouble?" you laughed as you winked at your friends "You're only in trouble if you are caught!"

Kaz caught you before you could flee "Gotcha!"

"I'm in trouble." you mumbled and then grinned widely at Kaz Brekker who looked like a bull who had just been kicked as you bit him making him let go of you and you took off running "Congratulations on your nuptials, Captain! You're going to be a lovely bride!"

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zumicho · 3 months

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THE END OF MOUSETRAP! ← IWAIZUMI / AKAASHI SMAU

EPILOGUE: TAKE YOUR PICK — KEIJI ROUTE

before you continue: this was my first smau, depsite it being a huge chaotic mess, and how mismatched it is with my theme — it has a very special place in my heart & I hope it’s earned a place in yours! thank you for reading & keeping up with mousetrap ♥︎ .ᐟ.ᐟ

with love, ree.

｡･ﾟﾟ･ WRITTEN PORTION BELOW ✧･ﾟ: *

you wake up to soft, rhythmic clatter of keys being pressed, each tap like gentle rain on a tin roof in his quiet room. right, his room.

the lights are dimmed, illuminated by the faint blue glow of the television flickering in the corner. blinking away the remnants of sleep, you watch as your brother lives up to the title of ace & captain.

when did he turn the volley channel on? in the small nook by the window, you see a figure hunched over a laptop, the screen casting a cool light onto his scrunched-up face. keiji doesn’t notice you've woken, too absorbed in whatever he’s typing.

you shift under the covers, stretching and yawning. his sheets smell like new books and coffee. like him. as you stare at the volleyball plushie sitting next to you on the bed, the rustle of the bed seems to catch his (akaashi’s) notice. he tensed, but he’s still glued to his screen. probably thinking you’re still asleep. his glasses are pushed up above his forehead, his hair bunching messily behind them. it’s a good look, you note. “if you keep looking at me like that I’ll ambush you one day. when I catch you,” you threaten the plush.

it works. now he’s looking at you. “sorry. did I wake you?” the glasses slide down the tiniest bit at the tilt of his head.

you wiggle over to the end of the bed and smush your face onto his forearm. “mmyes. buht you can make it up to mmfe.” and he chuckles at the muffle in your voice. you could listen to that laugh forever. you look up at him, resting your chin on his arm now.

he’s wearing the navy blue cashmere sweater your mom gifted him last Christmas. it’s a v neck. god, do your parents adore him. red creeps up his arms like he notices you drooling over him. it’s like he’s immune to the years you’ve been together—not once has he normally received a compliment from you.

“when are you going to make her your fiance? what’s taking you so long? it’s been three decades.” your dad would scold. his stupid grin would give him away, though. he could never stay mad at his ‘future favorite son in law’. it’s one thing you and your father have in common. you have a soft spot for akaashi keiji.

keiji’s about to say something, but the man on the tv beats him to it. both of you look to see a bright-eyed iwaizumi, reporter shoving a mic at his face as he catches his breath. he answers a few questions, like “how did you become the adlers’ trainer?” and “did you think this was what you would be doing when you played for aoba johsai?”

“how does it feel?” the reporter demands. for some reason? akaashi looks to you at that question. what? your eyebrows ask him.

“how does it feel, that you’re here and not there?”

there’s another lull in the conversation, which you’ve gotten used to expecting.

you smile. “I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else. maybe doing something else,” you tease, “but not anywhere else.”

“you’re disgusting.” he flicks your forehead.

“ow.” you swat his hand away. “you’re mean.”

“thanks.”

“and I hate you.”

now he’s smiling.

he plants a kiss on your forehead.

“hate you too.”

@needtoloveoutloud @rory-cakes @minaluvu @tenjikusstuff4 @cherrypieyourface @strawberrygloom1 @bows4life @dreamsofnaughtiness @suitstars @vivianne666 @this-is-me-lolol @kettlepop @giocriedpower @literaleftist @yuminako @kagtobis @wolffmaiden @gsyche @fllavviiaa @guitarstringed-scars @hibernatinghamster @ryuverse @muyyie @gra-eae @phoenix-eclipses @cnnmairoll @neuviloved @reneny @elliott0o0 @girlkissersco @aliensstolemyheart

akaashi driving to his job playing this in the car thinking of you

#hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #smau series #haikyuu smau #hq smau #iwaizumi x reader #akaashi x reader #haikyuu #Spotify

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jonquilyst · 3 months

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Day 0 - Introduction

🎵 Dear Mom and Dad, I’m doin’ fine. You guys are on my mind… 🎵

Welcome to the premiere of THE 2ND SEASON of Total Drama Sims: the hottest, freshest reality TV show on simblr. I'm your host jonquilyst, though if you tuned in to the show last season, you'll already know who I am!

14 more teenagers have gathered to put their wits, guts, and strength to the test to seek out the ✨ grand prize. ✨ Like last season, they will compete in crazy challenges, deal with less-than-perfect living arrangements, and face the judgement of each other!

🎵 You asked me what I wanted to be, and I think the answer is plain to see… 🎵

🎵 I wanna live close to the sun. Pack your bags 'cause I’ve already won… 🎵

Allow me to give you the grand tour of the no-longer-abandoned film lot we claimed for this season! Instead of cabins, contestants will be staying in these cramped trailers, just like actors on set! There's one for each team with 7 beds each and complimentary bathrooms.

Our mess hall is a bit less rustic than the one we had at the summer camp, but it's got that same ol' charm with 2 dining tables and a small living area for everyone's convenience!

Now, on to the fun part: replacing the shoddy outhouse, our contestants' destination for providing their juicy confessionals will be a makeup trailer right behind the trailers! Get used to it: it'll appear every single day with a different contestant providing their thoughts.

And finally, the auditorium! This will be the site of our ever-so-exciting elimination ceremonies. In front of it is the walk-of-shame, where losers will say goodbye to Total Drama Sims to catch the lame-o-sine at the very end!

🎵 Everything to prove nothing’s in my way. I’ll get there one day! 🎵

Now, allow me to formally introduce you to our 14 new contestants!

(from left to right; top to bottom)

(also fun fact: the poses are all different this time, so everyone's portrait is truly unique to them!)

ASHLEE SCHAEFER (she/her) by @shmoodlet - A rap artist who always wants to be the center of attention

BRODY SHERMAN (he/him) by @aniraklova - A football captain who loves to party and cause mischief

COFFEE BEAN (she/her) by @riverofjazzsims - A gloomy and introverted polyglot who was entered into the competition by her twin sister so she can have more typical teenager experiences

DREW PINTO (she/they) by @witheringscreations - A talented track athlete who wants to make friendships outside of those she trains with

ENZO ESPINOZA (he/him) by @seyvia - A handsome model who wants to prove to his brothers that he's the most exceptional sibling

FLO HARPER (she/her) by @akitasimblr - A nosy "rebel" (she only dresses the part) who secretly loves to bake

HANS SOMME (he/him) by @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants - A physically gifted, socially inept snob who doesn't think TDS will be that hard

LIANA MORRIS (she/her) by @bloomingkyras - An introverted computer whiz who chose to compete in TDS so she wouldn't have to go to her grandparents' house

NEAL WARD (he/him) by @nakasumi-sims - Son of famous actor Judith Ward. Judith signed him up for TDS2 so he could be occupied while she's filming overseas

PAULINA CALLAWAY (she/her) by @cowplant-ate-my-sim - A cheerful girl who signed up for TDS so she could have a free vacation

TAKASHI ABBOTTSFORD (he/him) by @stargazer-sims - A friendly and talkative boy who thinks he'd be good at TDS due to growing up in a large chaotic family

TONI STROUD (she/her) by @simsinfinitylt - A creative and imaginative thespian who is determined to make a name for herself

TRISTAN BACHMAN (he/him) by @micrathene-w - A snarky academic genius who accidentally arrived at TDS when he was meant to go to his academic decathlon meet

WILLABELLE LOWES (she/her) by @invisiblequeen - An overachiever who is confident she'll win TDS

🎵 I WANNA BE, I WANNA BE, I WANNA BE FAMOUS! 🎵

Wait... What About Teams?

Yea... about that: teams will be sorted a little differently this season! Instead of randomized teams right away, they are being formed after the first socialization day, when everyone has time to form relationships! Shortly before the first challenge, two people will be selected at random to be the "captains" of the teams. From there, they will select their teammates schoolyard-style (alternating between boys and girls) based on their relationships with the other contestants!

#TDS2 #Ashlee Schaefer by shmoodlet #Brody Sherman by aniraklova #Coffee Bean by riverofjazzsims #Drew Pinto by witheringscreations #Enzo Espinoza by seyvia #Flo Harper by akitasimblr #Hans Somme by ethicaltreatmentofcowplants #Liana Morris by bloomingkyras #Neal Ward by nakasumi-sims #Paulina Callaway by cowplant-ate-my-sim #Takashi Abbottsford by stargazer-sims #Toni Stroud by simsinfinitylt #Tristan Bachman by micrathene-w #Willabelle Lowes by invisiblequeen

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general-cyno · 11 months

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wano has become a favorite arc of mine for different reasons and it also gave me a lot of zolu brainworms to mull over, so here I go (again). spoilers for some of the big reveals in the arc so beware

despite getting separated shortly after reuniting, yasuie's execution once again highlighted how similarly minded zoro and luffy are - like zoro, luffy gets pissed at the sight of ppl laughing at yasuie after he's killed, though they both learn it's due to the effects of the smile fruits. and despite the fact that doing so could put their plan in jeopardy (hence why sanji yells at zoro to cool his head), luffy actively cheers zoro on (from the distance) when he goes after orochi in retaliation

a nice tiny moment is also back when they're together. luffy was worried since big mom appeared in wano yet jimbei (who had stayed in whole cake island to fend her off along his former crew so the straw hats could escape) hadn't arrived. albeit zoro wasn't even part of the WCI arc events, he's quick to reassure luffy:

although I'm not certain whether law was referring to them specifically or not, there's a part during the discussion of the raid where he says there's two idiots who, no matter how much planning goes into it, are likely to charge straight in regardless. then, of course, this happens:

(so yeah. I think they're probably the idiots)

and funnily enough, zoro doesn't get lost for once. not only does he find luffy, any intention zoro had of (ironically, considering he was causing a ruckus himself) chastising luffy for messing up the infiltration goes out the window when he tells zoro about the spilled oshiruko

this is a direct callback to their interactions with tama when they first reunited in wano. it's cute how attached they got to her and yeah, they're both stupidly reckless at times but this is one occasion in which it isn't just for the sake of chaotic shenanigans - it's them getting angry at how these ppl are disrespecting what tama and the oshiruko stand for. to those present, it seems foolish/weird since they don't understand the context behind it, but it's the kind of understanding that goes on between luffy and zoro precisely bc of the moments they share together.

there's some good panels of both worrying about each other after getting hurt and zoro carrying an injured luffy to safety. they're soooo.

this was pretty good too:

their plan to jump to the roof to face kaido ultimately fails here but it's still cute that zoro's so willing now to just cling to and let luffy carry him around like this (arlong park zoro has come a long way lol). it also says a lot abt luffy's trust in both the crew and zoro that he was fine letting them in charge below while he and zoro went to face kaido together.

the x drake ordeal was kind of funny but it served to show exactly why zoro complements luffy so well. luffy tends to be very trusting toward others, even those who might've started out as enemies which usually works out fine but still. zoro's quick to remind luffy that the guy's a traitor and unreliable, and (along with some of the other straw hats) refuses to blindly accept the impromptu alliance. it's interesting though, that zoro doesn't entirely disregard luffy's opinion nor x drake's help per se - he's just understandably wary of drake's true intentions (pointing out that he's still hiding where he stands in the whole conflict) and eventually agrees to team up. love the balance of it ngl.

that said, the actual fight on the roof has to be one of my favorite parts! it's probably one of the most obvious occasions in which zoro's role as luffy's first mate/right hand man and how much luffy relies on him too shines through. there's zoro slashing big mom and kaido's fire attacks so they wouldn't hurt luffy, taking the lead in attempting to stave off kaido and big mom's joint attack (and succeeding for a bit) despite the fact that he's got three powerful captains beside him, and several panels of him protecting luffy. this one was particularly crazy

this is pretty much zoro's equivalent to "if you wanna kill him you'll have to kill ME first". insane. I love them so much. zoro may be the one to have more instances in which he gets to demonstrate his loyalty and protectiveness towards luffy rather than the opposite - but knowing luffy's the one who usually risks himself for others in grandiose ways, I find it very compelling that zoro gets to be the one to protect him in these important moments, that luffy trusts him to do it and even thanks him for it here in this arc. to me, there's a reason why, out of the whole crew, zoro was the only one to take part in this particular confrontation. mutual trust/understanding/respect etc are at the core of their relationship. it's a two way thing.

fast forward to zoro vs king and OF COURSE this mf thought of luffy when facing the guy.

I posted about this the other day, but something similar happened during zoro's duel against mihawk. when the latter asks what drives zoro to fight despite being so weak, it's this exact part of his meeting with luffy at the marine base that he recalls. zoro has certainly driven himself to get stronger for the crew's sake and for his dream, but it's clear that luffy (and his own promise to kuina) is one of zoro's biggest motivators. he's also the one person zoro has cast aside that very dream of his for so... (thriller bark zoro you live in my heart always).

when zoro wins against king, too, it's his promise to never lose that he recalls. the promise he made to luffy. regardless of how you interpret their relationship, it's obvious luffy means a lot to zoro and moments like these don't let the readers forget it.

that said, this was perhaps the most insane part to me:

just when you think zolu can't get more trope-y than it already is, the manga says: wait a fucking second. canon sun/moon, heaven/hell, god/demon zolu.

I was already spoiled about these bits, though they were exciting to read through anyway. I think it's very curious that both zoro's ancestry and his conqueror's haki reveal happened during the arc where the true nature of luffy's devil fruit comes to light and his awakening into joyboy/nika takes place. can't say for sure what oda's planning for them in the future, but wano is probably the biggest glimpse so far as to the kind of figures luffy and zoro are bound to become (or are already becoming) in one piece's universe.

joyboy luffy being considered a hero to wano only rivaled by shimotsuki ryuma is also so... oof, knowing that ryuma (also called god of the blade) is zoro's ancestor, whose zombie he faced back in thriller bark and whose sword shusui he wielded for a while after that, and that he resembles physically too (both being one-eyed samurai/swordsmen). there's a lot more parallels to be drawn between them, and zoro's conqueror's haki adds a whole new layer to their relationship, but a detail that's fascinating to me is that both zoro's presence and joyboy's awakening in wano are hailed as the work of fate at different points, by kawamatsu and zunesha respectively.

overall there seems to be a thread of "fate" that's tying the story together from the void century to roger's era to the present but choice is also an important aspect imo. zoro and luffy are an example, bc in spite of how their stories have turned out to be somewhat intertwined... it was luffy's choice to seek out the demon pirate hunter and rope him into his crew. it was zoro's choice to join him, to make a promise that'd tie his own dream to luffy's. there's a potential that neither of them could've reached if they hadn't come together to sail in that dinghy and formed an entire crew (a family!) that have all of them journeying towards their dreams, always relying on and striving to become better for one another. all of these little choices for luffy and zoro led them up to this point and onwards, which tbh is just really fucking good.

#zolu #tp #long post #yes it's me....again. and with a longer post yet #there's a lot more I wanted to mention djdjdkdkd but I think it was too much for a single post #and I didn't want to derail much #can't say I wasn't a little disappointed bc wano felt like it could've been The zoro arc yknow #still. there was A Lot going on in the plot to squeeze something more and honestly ajdjdjd I think oda kinda botched the possibility #of a rescue zoro arc in this particular angle simply bc there is no way that current zoro would ever leave luffy and the crew #much less for a legacy he's never even known (and technically still doesn't). zoro's loyalty was already put to test in a way #back in thriller back I mean. and we all know how that went so yeah #anyway that's exactly the stuff that could warrant its own post djdjdj but long story short #I LOVE ZOLU SO MUCH #jay reads op

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factual-fantasy · 7 months

Text

26 ASKS! THANKS EVERYONE! 🥰✨

Me too man. But my mental and physical health is kind'a tanking atm. I just don't have the energy to pick up a passion project of that scale right now..

If you're patient and stick around though, we're bound to see more of my FNAF security breach AU someday.. Once I can get on top of all this crap I'm dealing with-

I AM restingggg 😫 I haven't left my home for any significant amount of time for like 3 weeks- I cant rest any harder! XD

@beryl-shade

Google seems to suggest that an oreo cookie character already exists. "Prime Oreo Cookie" I believe..? :0

@solst1ce-sketches (In response to this post(?))

:DD Thank you! I'm glad you like him!! :}}

(First repair guy) (Second repair guy)

They are different repair guys, and they both do not have a name.. 😔

@lobitowhiteeliaz

Not quite sure what you're asking.. so I'll just answer in multiple ways!

My favorite movies of all time are Pixars cars 1 and 3. I cannot watch either without crying 😭 they are my absolute favorites and I hold them very close to my soul 💖

Still to this day, even after all this time, Gravity Falls is my top favorite show. Despite all the cringe I made for it back in the day- it still holds up as my most beloved show I've ever drawn about.

As for fandom, like the people? I thiiiink the FNAF fandom was my favorite to interact with..? I remember a lot of interaction with the fans in general, which meant a lot to me :)

Bibi and Cici are just odd little critters XD though Bibi is very cat-like in nature and Cici is based on a mouse :0

I'm not sure how they feel about being dolls. I'd assume they don't really mind it! XD

Not sure what you mean but I assume you're right XDD

@something3706

Thank you! Though I don't take requests, sorry!

She is indeed a kid, but that's becuase all I had to go off of was her info picture and fanart I saw of her. For some reason a lot of art I saw of Sally depicted her as this total gremlin character that's always getting into trouble.

So I thought hey! Why not make it so she fell to "Earth" as a little tot and was raised by Poppy? In present day she could be like 13-15 and her chaotic energy would make sense and be fun to mess with!

Though after watching GTlive do a vid on the Halloween update, I realize that I wrote her personality completely wrong. Sooo I miiight need to rework her entire story and character- whoops! <XDD

Considering Sally is gonna need some restructuring, I'm not sure where Poppy stands atm-- <:DD

@fawncr33k

I saw your comment on a post that shows you now know the answer to this- but just to clarify it for everyone else!-

Octo and Seafoam are not gay, nor a couple. Seafoam's heart belongs to Blue Beauty! Him and Octo are just friends/brothers.

Also thank you! :DD I'm honored!

@neo-metalscottic (Post in question)

AAAA Thank you!! :DD I've very glad you like them! :D And I'm not sure how a meeting with the pirates and cowboys would go.. its funny though becuase a lot of Canned Tuna's design was copied from Canned Beans cookie. Even the name! So if they ever met maybe they'd have a stand off XDD

I haven't thought much about how the Captain would react.. maybe the Vegimals are something he just cant wrap his head around and chooses not to talk about it XDD

BUT CALICO JACK!! SEEING VEGIMALS BEFORE?? WHY HAVEN'T I THOUGHT OF THAT!! The Vegimals could be these huge fish creatures when they grow old! And Jack could have SEEN ONE/HEARD OF THEM BEFORE!! Why didn't I think of that?? XDD I'll have to draw something like that sometime!!

@yourstrulylightstar283

Thank you so much!! :D My favorite Donkey Kong game has to be the only one I've ever played, the original Donkey Kong Country!

I also loved Diddy Kong racing, though I see that it doesn't count <XD

@astaherussy

I've heard of Hazbin Hotel, and Helluva boss. I saw the Hazbin pilot ages ago and have seen some episodes of Helluva.. Though they're not really my taste.. <:/

@badlyblurry (Post in question)

:D Thank you! Now I didn't really do any proper research after the fact so I hope the Octonauts info is accurate! <XDD

THANK YOU!!! :DDD

@djh4l0v3rv3r

I think Poppy Playtime it pretty neat! Though I haven't seen a playthrough of chapter 3 yet so I haven't formed an opinion on the smiling critters. :0 Other than their smiles are WAY too big and creepy XDDD

Holy cow.. what a crazy read! I'm not much of a gamer myself but I have GOT to watch somebody play this! :00 Thank you for the info! :D

@raptor1312

WAIT THIS GAME WAS ON THE WII?? I was thinking it was a fangame made for PC??? Like on steam?? ITS A LEGIT RELEASE?? WHAT???

(Post in question)

It was sooooo much tedious coloringggg... 💀💀 Worth it tho XDD

(Post in question)

AAAA IM GLAD YOU NOTICED!! :DD

@shaziztrazh

AWWWW!! HOW COOL!! I love the mermaid approach!! :DD SO PREBBY!!! ✨🤩✨🥥✨

Also thank you so much!! :DDD

(Post in question)

XDD Turns out ditto is my spirit Pokémon-

@nunyabusiness459

AAAA I'm so glad you're interested in him! Uuuunfortunately,, looking back it seems the only artwork I have of Melvin is just a bunch of strange angst for no good reason-

So I'm afraid I don't really have any artwork to share,, and most of the story has already been told.. but this ask makes me want to come back to Melvin sometime! Maybe expand on his story more, or just draw him again in general!

So thank you for the ask/interest, perhaps we'll see more of Melvin someday! :D

#my response #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ocs #my ocs #factual fam #ocotnauts #fnaf security breach #welcome home #minecraft #minecraft ocs

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slippinmickeys · 20 days

Note

POL Prompt for you: would love to know more about Mulder’s experiences embedded with the army, and I bet Scully would too…

No beta. Just vibes. Thanks for the ask!

He presses his lips to the tight drum of her stomach, breathes in through his nose. The air is thick with the sour smell of human bodies in a warm, enclosed space, under which hovers the smell of sex and somehow, the linen and eucalyptus scent of Scully herself.

He’d like to make love to her again, but they’re both lightheaded with hunger, so he rolls over instead, leaning his forehead and nose against the arching slats of her ribs. He reaches down and puts his hand around her knee. Her body hair has grown out, and while the copper hair on her legs is wiry and stiff, the growth on her knee is wispy and blonde. He strokes it, like he’s calming a skittish filly.

Outside the hotel they can hear bullets ripping through air nearby. The fighting is close and the sounds unnerving.

“Tell me about your embed,” Scully says in a rough voice. He flicks his eyes to hers; they’re round and wet, blue as the Sargasso.

“Which one?”

“Any of them,” she says with a shaky breath. “Can you talk to me? I want to listen to you and not the sounds outside.”

“I hate to tell you this, but my embeds involved scenes pretty similar to what’s happening outside.”

“Talk to me, Mulder,” she says. “I just want to hear your voice. Please.”

He runs his nose up the soft skin of her side, pulls her in close to his body.

“We were in the mountains,” he mumbles into her. “And it was cold.”

Under his lips, her skin pebbles in sympathy.

***

He’d had to leap out of a Black Hawk hovering above a rugged mountainside, hugging his camera bag to his chest in an effort to protect his camera and equipment. It had seemed to work, to the detriment of his left shoulder. The ground under the chopper was a chaotic mess of disheveled humans and gear, the rotor wash whipping dust and debris into everyone’s eyes.

Mulder was the photographer half of a two-man team, working an article for the Times, but in the chaos and roar of their ingress, he couldn’t see Gary, the journalist who’d be doing the writing. He only hoped he’d fallen successfully, a metric applied in the loosest sense of the word – Gary was over forty and overweight – so long as he didn’t need a medic immediately and was on the ground, Captain Franklin would be happy.

The moment the last trooper hit the earth, the Black Hawk tipped backward and roared away into the night. The soldiers around him were up and on their feet immediately, Franklin barking quiet orders to hustle the men along – the chopper had given away their location.

Operation Saber Tooth was a battalion-wide mission to root out senior rebel fighters that were hiding in and around the mountains. Franklin would hang back from the fighting with what was called the overwatch team, but First and Second Platoons would be on the front line, entering villages and searching homes, going on the offensive if attacked.

Franklin had given Mulder and Gary the option of staying back with him and the overwatch team– who would position themselves behind the platoons’ fighting in order to monitor and command the operation–or accompanying one of the two Platoons. Mulder thought they’d get a better story and certainly better pictures if they went with the fighting forces, but it would also mean walking through the mountains at night carrying all of their gear; food, water, clothing, work equipment and sleeping bags. Each patrol would be gone for a week, patrolling, camping and trekking in the mountains. Mulder wanted to go with First Platoon, but one look at Gary’s face and he told Franklin they’d hang back with overwatch.

Mulder had no idea what they were supposed to do next, so he followed the line of troops up a ridge and onto a small flat crest of rock thousands of feet up that abutted the mountain on one side and had a clear view of the valley on the other. The area would serve as the Tactical Operation Center for the mission. There were no tents, walls or roofs – just bare patches of rock and a few gnarled trees. As Mulder watched, the overwatch team unpacked cumbersome machines that looked like they had been airlifted from Vietnam.

Gary came shuffling over the ridge and to Mulder’s side, breathing hard.

“We should get some sleep,” Mulder said, unrolling his sleeping bag while Franklin and the JTACs communicated with airpower.

A small group of rebel fighters had been spotted by the retreating Black Hawks moving towards their position, and Mulder and Gary fumbled with their equipment and tried to stay out of the way while an air attack wiped out the small force.

When Mulder woke in the morning, First and Second Platoons were gone, but the overwatch team were still working, hunched over a speaker that was spitting out insurgent chatter from a radio intercept.

“Bring the Dushka,” the interpreter said, repeating what he was hearing in a language no one else understood. “We can see them on the mountainside.”

The overwatch team was tense. The nearby rebels knew where they were, but not the location of either First or Second Platoon. A Dushka, Franklin explained, was a giant Russian machine gun that spit out .50 caliber bullets that could effortlessly slice through a brick wall. If the two platoons didn’t find the rebels before the rebels got the gun into position, Mulder and the men around him would be rendered to pulp and Operation Saber Tooth would be over before it began.

“Didn’t Franklin say overwatch would be the safer option?” Gary said, hunched up in his sleeping bag and looking miserable.

Mulder reached into the brown plastic of the MRE one of the soldiers had handed him and pulled out a small pack of M&Ms.

“I think he just said there’d be less walking,” Mulder replied, popping a handful of candy into his mouth and pulling the black knit cap he was wearing lower over his ears.

Gary began taking notes and speaking with some of the overwatch soldiers, getting down interviews, but Mulder could do nothing but take a few photos of the team against the backdrop of rock and dirt; mostly guys blowing hot air into their fists and hunching around the radio speaker.

As dawn gave way to full daylight, Mulder’s attention strayed from the chatter of the TOC detailing the progress of the First and Second Platoons to the increasingly pressing needs of his own body; he really had to pee.

Most of the soldiers had been relieving themselves at a rocky outcropping at the edge of the ridge upon which their small camp sat, but a gusty wind had picked up from along the valley and was now blowing up the crest of the hillside. If he peed off the side as the other soldiers had done, he would probably end up covered in his own piss courtesy of the wind.

He decided to amble a little further off, down a short slope upon which laid the remains of a fallen tree. The area was probably too far from what Franklin had said were the boundaries of where he felt comfortable letting them go, but it was sheltered from the wind and it would only take Mulder 30 seconds to relieve himself.

He was just zipping up when he caught a flash of movement from 40 yards away across the small valley between the mountain they were perched on and the next. When he looked up he connected eyes with a man peeking out behind a boulder, Kalashnikovs bristling up around the rock like needles in a pincushion. A group of rebel fighters. And they had seen him.

He dove behind the single fallen tree on the slippery bit of scree behind him as the rebels opened fire. Bullets whizzed past the tree and thunked into it, spraying the air around him with bits of desiccated wood, and he could hear the shouting from the TOC and the garbled sound of the rebels yelling at each other and into their own radios. It took only moments for the Americans to begin returning fire and Mulder was absolutely pinned down, unable to do so much as move his arms up to protect his face, so close were the bullets in the air above him. And he had left his flak jacket and helmet next to his sleeping bag.

He laid prone, eyes squeezed close as the guttural sound of combat erupted from everywhere around him. An AC-130 circled overhead and he could hear the roar of a fighter jet scream low over the mountain. But the air support would not be able to help them, he knew; the rebels were too close to their own position and an attack on them would likely be deadly to Mulder and the rest of the overwatch team.

Suddenly, the sounds of gunfire from the TOC position went into overdrive, and a moment later two soldiers slid onto the ground on either side of him, their comrades above laying down cover fire.

“Let’s go, bud!” said a soldier named Martinez, who plunked a too-large army helmet onto Mulder’s head and grabbed him by the arm.

On his other side, a private named Smyth said “We’re running in three-two-GO GO GO!” And the two soldiers hauled him up and all three of them ran all out, scrambling back up and over the ridge to the meager protection of the TOC.

***

“Not three minutes later,” Mulder mumbles, “the rock above our heads started exploding.”

Her fingers brush through the hair growing long down his neck. “The Dushka?” she asks.

He nods. “The Dushka. Luckily Second Platoon was almost on top of them by the time they were in position to fire and took them out before any person or any equipment was hurt. Five minutes later it was dead silence and we spent the rest of the afternoon using baby wipes to get the dust off our skin and equipment. My Canon Mark IV was never the same.”

On the street outside the hotel, the gunfire similarly halts.

Scully inhales expansively and turns so she’s facing him. “How was Gary?” she asks.

“A true professional,” he says, leaning forward to kiss the skin above her breast. “He grabbed my camera and took some damn fine pictures.”

“I’d like to see them someday.” Her voice is fading, sleepy. “If we ever get out of here.”

Mulder pulls the tatty sheet up and over them both.

“You will,” he says. He’s gotten out of worse.

#thanks for the prompt!#the x-files #fanfic #my fic #msr #au #prompt #proof of life universe

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inkysquelched · 7 months

Text

Them.

I drew my bozos and there’s nothing you can do about it. Now get ready for a long post as I talk about my headcannons for them. Feel free to ask me anything about them, I love rambling:

Agent 3: Has a major RBF, but she’s nice I promise you. She’s been enjoying her role as captain but was overwhelmed at first.

Weapon preferences: shooters, chargers

Fave Special: Splashdown

Agent 4: Just vibing honestly, she’s gotten pretty good at hacking/research over the years.

Weapon preferences: daulies, brushes

Fave Special: Boyah Bomb

Agent 8: Curses in octarian at least 5 times a day. Remarkably relaxed despite all the bs shes been through.

Weapon preferences: shooters

Fave Special: Triple Inkstrike

Neo 3: A chaotic child, will occasionally eat stuff off the floor.

Weapon preferences: tri-stringer, blasters if shes feeling spicy

Fave Special: Super Chump

Some Honorable Mentions:

3 has a major sweet tooth and she won’t apologize for it. (shes awful with spicy food tho gchfxgfz)

Neo really likes bread.

8 will eat the most criminally offensive spicy food without a reaction.

3 likes to sleep in her squidform, it’s kinda weird to others. It’s honestly more worrying if she doesn’t shift forms. (hc that people usually only do that when theyre really sick…..and then theres 3)

4 listens to her music too loud.

3 and 4 bicker all the time, but it rarely gets to a point where they’re actually upset. They especially fight about how to lead on missions (this is moot bc 3 is the captain lol) because 3 prefers the “slow and steady” approach and 4 prefers to play “fast and loose”, if that makes sense. (8s just here for the ride)

The squid sisters like to say that 3 and 4 are twins and they both hate it.

3 is a runaway, Neo is an orphan. Different circumstances, same outcome. They relate to each other a lot and I think thats awesome (and sad).

Neo (and 8) will occasionally say some out of pocket shit without realizing just how messed up it really is: “what? you’ve never had to eat out of the trash before?”

3 is very emotionally numb and has a hard time expressing any care towards others, so she ends up showing it through favors/giving advice/“are you ok?”s. She’ll tell you to put on a jacket when it’s 70 degrees out lol. (this is also why she’s a mess around 8, those are feelings she has no idea how to deal with)

3 is terrified of being sick (like bedridden sick, haha sanitization go brr) and will inwardly panic the whole time.

3 has the worst alcohol tolerance behind Marie and 4. (Callie will drink 12 shots of vodka without flinching)

Octolings have a very different view on relationships than inklings do; inklings will date/marry out of love while octolings will treat it more as a transaction (not saying they can’t, love just isn’t a priority). 8 as had and infatuation for 3 for years but doesn’t act on it because she wasn’t sure if she really felt the way she did. She knows inklings hold more weight to relationships and didn’t want to risk hurting 3 if she was wrong. (the events of side order really helped her figure it out)

After the events of Splatoon 2, 4 took a back seat on being an agent. Less frontlines and more research focused. (like Marie lol) She hated this at first, but grew to like it.

3s alter ego is DJ Sango, she uses her rapping/singing to vent. 4 and 8 play dumb and pretend they don’t know about her account. (They both listen to her music tho 😶)

8 is extremely calm, you’d have to be trying to piss her off.

Inklings are like mood rings, there tentacles will change color depending on their mood (think like streaks or spots of other colors) The more intense the emotion, the deeper the color.

8 and 3 both have to clean/replace their weapon filters more often than most but for different reasons: for eight its bc shes an octoling (their ink is more abrasive) while 3 has thicker ink than normal as the last remnant of being partially sanitized.

3 isn’t actually as stinky as the squid sisters will have you believe. She one time came back from a mission smelling particularly RANKED that day, and they’ve never let her live it down.

There’s probably more but I can’t think of any rn

k bye <3

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novantinuum · 4 months

Text

Fandom: Steven Universe Rating: Teen Audiences (CW: Description of attempted suicide) Words: 5.4K~ Summary: There’s more to this story, Lars can feel it brimming in his very bones. He can feel it squirming around in the tangled coils of his guts, a primal, virulent rot that threatens to consume him from the inside out. Something is off with Steven, something is distinctly wrong. And oh, does he hate being right. - When an unexpected visitor tumbles through the magic portal in his hair long after hours, breathless and bright pink, Lars must amass the courage to weather one of the most difficult conversations of his life.

Hey folks- this is a really heavy one, but it's a story I've been sitting on in my WIPs for a good four years and am very happy to finally set loose. A lot of personal experience has been poured into this particular fic, and I hope you enjoy.

Please take care and mind the content warning given above. If you're curious on what else this story entails, you can click through to see the AO3 tags as well. Love y'all!

Advocate

The Sun Incinerator’s bridge is unusually quiet tonight, with almost everyone spending the evening in their quarters. As such, the only sounds greeting Lars’ ears right now are the dull buzz of their FTL-drive and the gentle chimes of one of the ship’s secondary consoles in the back. (Padparadscha’s making some adjustments to the mainframe parameters, hoping to secure them more malleable control over each system’s energy output.) It makes for a rather meditative scene… focusing on these lulling, almost formulaic bits of white noise as he peers through the glass and watches entire stars and solar systems zip by as nothing but razor thin tendrils of light, the very fabric of space warping and folding around their ship in a myriad of hypnotizing colors. Content to simply be in this peaceful silence, he stretches back in his captain’s chair, allowing a wide smile to rejuvenate his countenance. There’s genuinely nothing more relaxing in all the universe than this.

Though, as he begins to muse upon today’s chaotic ventures of choice, it occurs to him that he hasn’t logged anything down for a good few cycles. And that really, really needs to change, he thinks. Keeping thorough audio records of their whereabouts and activities could prove useful if they get into any more legal scrapes with disgruntled Gems. Plus, it’s great for personal posterity— for when he and the fam want to kick back with some mixers and reminisce about old times.

He activates the mic embedded in the armrest of his seat with a single tap, and clears his throat.

“Logging… stardate one-three zero-five twenty eighteen,“ he begins, rhythmically tapping his fingers against the cool metal. “Or, uh… however that’s supposed to work,” he tags on with a bemused mumble, his nose wrinkling in personal annoyance as he realizes he might have completely jumbled the date format again. At this point, half of his logs are month first, then date, and the other half are date then month. Ugh, what a mess. Perhaps one day he’ll standardize the captain’s logging procedure, but that future is definitely not now.

And knowing him, it’s probably not gonna be tomorrow, either.

He’s unable to help his exhausted yawn as he kicks back and unwinds, throwing his legs over the side of the armrest as he pushes ahead with his recounting of the last few hours.

“Today’s travels once again had us come face-to-face with our favorite frenemy Emerald, who claimed that her latest star cruiser had the booster technology to easily outperform all other Era 3 ships and challenged us to a race across the Stellaris Astroid Field in sector 9. We won, of course,” he says with a smug lilt to his voice. “The Rutiles’ savvy piloting saw to that, as well as Fluorite’s last-minute engine modifications. I think we hit like… a record cruising speed?” He presses his lips into a thin line and turns his head towards his friend working at the rear of the main deck. “Hey Pady? D’ya happen to remember what our top velocity came to during the final stretch of that race?”

She pauses in her self-appointed duty and hums in careful thought, sorting back through her eidetic knowledge of the recent past like it’s nothing but child’s play. “I believe… 181 klicks per second, nearing the speed of light.”

“And that was like… a record, yeah?” he asks, a sudden hair-raising twinge of… well, something settling deep at the pit of his chest. He ignores it for now. Such phantom pangs aren’t uncommon these days. He’s not exactly sure what causes it yet, and chalks it up to more ‘pink zombie’ weirdness.

“For our craft, yes,” she nods. “For all Gemkind, no. I was curious, as well. As far as I’ve read from Homeworld’s databases, the current non-FTL cruising record is 186.1 klicks per second.”

Lars can’t help the scoffing chuckle that bubbles within his throat. “Ugh. Good grief, that’s basically light speed as it is. Like, leave some room for competition for the rest of us, yeah?”

Padparadscha gives a faint snicker of agreement as she turns her focus back to the ship’s mainframe interface. Right, right… she’s got work to get done. Which really reminds him, he needs to get back to his point too, or else this log’s gonna be stuffed with nothing but meaningless chit-chatter and asides. He sighs, leaning his cheek against the seat’s edge again.

“But in any case,” he continues into the mic, “our latest victory over Emerald seems to ha—”

With zero warning whatsoever that hollow pang at his core intensifies, its thrall pulsing louder and louder until it’s a thunderous cascade of static rippling through his very veins. He hisses in alarm, jamming his hands over his ears out of pure bodily instinct. This doesn’t help, of course— as this cacophonous feeling (not a sound, not some external input he can mute or modulate, but a feeling—) seems to be emanating from within, from a place all but intangible to the physical realm, from—

He spies that oh-so-familiar glow emanating from the fringe of his hair just a split second before his surprise visitor tumbles through and throws off his center of balance, unceremoniously toppling both of them to the floor in a ridiculous tangle of limbs.

Lars’ exhales become laborious as he extracts himself from under the teen and clambers back up to his knees, heart pounding with more fervent intensity than it has since he up and died a few years back.

And right on cue, about fifteen seconds too late:

“Captain Lars, Steven is about to cross through the portal in your head!”

“Yeah, I noticed, thanks,” he snaps in the shock of it all, feeling guilty for this snide remark the second it passes through his lips. (Because Padparadscha can’t help her compulsive ‘predictions.’ He knows this. Everyone knows this. He’ll have to find time to pull her aside and apologize.)

But not now.

Not yet.

Because the alarm bells rung by Pady’s next comment are enough to slap him right out of his brooding contemplation and back to the troubling here-and-now.

“I also predict that Steven won’t be in a very sound state of mind when he arrives,” she says, a noticeable tension building in her tone.

His eyes blow wide as he shifts his full attention to his friend, clad in a pair of sweatpants and a thin sleep shirt.

Steven is… oh, geeze. It seems Steven can’t even manage coherent speech right now. His cheeks are blotchy and raw with recent tears. He’s doubled over on the floor with one hand clutching at his center as he heaves for breath, glowing bright ass pink and looking halfway to hyperventilating. One thing’s for sure: it’s really, really hard to watch. His own chest growing insufferably tight in sympathy, Lars leaps to action, unwilling to let the poor guy wallow in the thickets of whatever the hell this breakdown is about any longer than he has to.

“H-hey…” he begins, edging towards him with the same slow deliberateness he always has to use with the rescue dog his parents recently adopted. And like, yeah— a part of him feels really rude for comparing his own friend to a skittish, fretful animal— but it’s a comparison that seems all the more apt the longer he drinks in the realities of this situation.

Because just like ol’ Maru, Steven is jumpy, horrifically on-edge, and ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.

Lars frowns, considering what few options he has.

Realizing his friend’s not likely to calm down very well so out in the open like this, he turns towards his fellow Off-Color.

“Pady, I’m taking him to my quarters. Can you let the others know, and uh… tell them not to disturb us for a while?”

“Yes, right away,” she chimes, hopping off her seat.

“Thank you,” he breathes, expression softening. “I mean it. And sorry about— well, I’ll talk with you later, all right?”

Her mouth falling into a perfectly neutral line (even if she’s incapable of reading the future, he’s sure she’s intensely aware of what he wishes to speak to her about from mere context clues alone), the Gem serves him a solid nod of acceptance and spins on her heels, striding down the hall with a level of confidence he envies. The bridge’s door slides shut after her, leaving him and his glowing, pink hued guest entirely alone.

Alone, and incredibly, incredibly vulnerable, like a live wire flailing about atop a damaged Earth power line.

(The last thing anyone on this ship needs is him having one of his infamous explosive episodes here and compromising the bridge’s airlock system. Which is why his quarters— below deck and fully enclosed— is a far more ideal locale for them right now.)

“O-okay, Steven,” he says, holding out his arm in aid as the teen struggles to clamber back to his feet. “Let’s go somewhere private to cool down, yeah?”

A few minutes later, Lars has Steven situated on the one plush sofa he keeps in his quarters. Since he no longer possess any biological need for sleep and thus doesn’t keep a bed, his room on the ship is pretty sparse— just a desk for journaling or gaming and some shelves with a number of sentimental knick-knacks he brought with him from Earth— but he did find it important to keep a couch. Even if he doesn’t need to sleep, curling up for a quick hour of shut-eye still feels quite rejuvenating sometimes. Plus, it’s handy to have whenever he hosts visitors. Like now.

Lars sits himself down right next to the distressed teen. He’s still flushed bright pink, but has regained a fair bit of emotional stability compared to how he was right after tumbling out of the magic space portal in his hair. It might take a while until the glow fades away entirely, but it’s progress, at least.

He sighs, rapping his fingertips against his jeans as he gives his friend some time in silence to cool down. The last thing the guy needs right now is for him to wave half a dozen questions in his face. He’ll talk when he’s ready. Or, hell, maybe not at all. That’s okay, too. Maybe he just wanted a place to have a quick little freak-out away from his family or girlfriend. Who’s he to judge? Sometimes a man’s just gotta be alone for a while.

Of course, he muses, if Steven really wanted to be alone, then he wouldn’t have crossed through Lion’s mane over to him, now would he? So this visit can’t only be due to a desire for solitude. Steven sought out him— specifically him— for a reason.

That churning, hollow pang at his core radiates even stronger, pulsing at the same interval as the dull tick of the clock he has hanging up on his wall, the one he keeps set to Earth EST as an everlasting reminder of his humble human roots and all the people who care about him back home.

Finally— some ten or so minutes later— the seventeen-year-old stops glowing, that unnatural, otherworldly pallor fading into obscurity. The kid (sorry, but Steven will always be a ‘kid’ to him at this point, don’t matter his age) deflates in exhaustion, cupping his face in his hands.

Now a little more confident that his expressions of concern won’t rile him up to destructive levels of stress, Lars makes a gentle inquiry as to what brought him here.

“‘Course, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” he tacks on quickly when he sees Steven’s expression widen with an almost grief-stricken apprehension, “but since I’m here an’ all, I figured…”

His guest sucks in a deep, shaky bout of air.

“N-no, I wanna talk,” he says, voice painfully hoarse. “I came here to talk, but I— it’s just so, so much, I-I’m—”

Lars’ eyes soften. “Dude, it’s okay. Take your time.”

And take his time he does. Another minute or so passes whilst Steven continues to reel himself in on the emotional side of things, breathing slow and heavy as he levels a dead-eyed stare at the blank section of wall flanking the doorway and his desk.

“Connie and I had a fight,” he begins eventually, his tone streaked with embarrassment. “Over the phone.”

Lars’ brow shoots up. Huh. All right. This is absolutely not the opener he expected.

“Really? You two fight? About what?”

“It doesn’t even matter anymore. It was nothing,” Steven mutters, clenching and unclenching his fists against the soft fabric of his pajama pants in a markedly uneven rhythm. “Just me being an idiot, as per usual. I’m sure we’ll make up over it tomorrow. But the problem is that we hung up mad. And when I’m mad about something, it just… makes me mad at myself. A-and then it’s like—” anxious, clawing hands migrate to his head, gripping at his hair— “w-when I’m mad at myself I just spiral? And it’s so, so scary how fast that can happen.”

Ever so slight, his lip presses into a tense frown as he listens. He doesn’t interject, not yet. Steven’s not finished with his disclosure— there’s more to this story, he can feel it brimming in his very bones. He can feel it squirming around in the tangled coils of his guts, a primal, virulent rot that threatens to consume him from the inside out. Something is off with him, something is distinctly wrong.

And oh, does he hate being right.

“I just… couldn’t stop thinking about it,” Steven admits.

The aching hollowness etched into the contours of his friend’s face intensifies, if that’s even possible.

Lars swallows.

“It?”

“—about killing myself,” he rasps, “and finally being done with all this.”

…

So, he’s not gonna lie.

While— much like himself— Steven’s never been the sort of person to prefer wearing his most turbulent emotions on his sleeve, he’s long suspected something like this was going on with him.

He suspected (because he’s been right there in those trenches himself), but he never said anything.

He never mentioned these worries to any of his guardians.

And he never asked.

‘Cause like, how could he, right?? What a horrible, triggering inquiry that would be. ‘Hey Steven, hah, so random question— you don’t happen to casually fantasize about your own death or anything sometimes, do you?’ Fucking hell, what an asshole he’d make. What a disgusting, disgusting breech of boundaries. He always hated it when his parents violated his trust by butting into his own personal business unprompted, so how could he ever turn right around and do that to Steven? To one of his most cherished friends in the whole galaxy? To the guy who— despite years and years of putting up with all his toxic bullshit and daring to see the good in him anyways— literally brought him back to life?

Thus, with him never volunteering any information himself, all that was left for Lars to do was watch.

To watch, and to listen where he can.

But still.

He’s not gonna lie.

Even if he always kinda suspected, even if so many of their interactions this past year only acted as fuel for all his constant, silent worries, hearing the kid actually say those words hurts like a bitch.

…

“Steven…” he utters with widened eyes, extending his hand.

To no avail, though.

“And that’s stupid, right??” the teen blurts out with a broad sweep of his arms, either ignoring or plain not noticing his offer of comfort as he rants onwards, his demeanor growing more and more unstable with each and every syllable. “That’s just… stupid! Normal people don’t think like that! Normal people don’t make mistakes and instantly leap to the worst possible punishment and spin that little thought around, and around, and around in your head until you’ve considered a thousand different scenarios that all end the same way.”

He pauses for breath, his chest heaving in and out— probably amidst the exertion of being so damn honest for once. Lars doesn’t even make a sound within this brief span of quiet. A part of him is a little terrified at what else might spill out of his friend’s mouth now that the cork of his anxieties has thoroughly been popped off, but he’s even more terrified at the thought of derailing him, of unintentionally stopping these truths from ever being spoken.

“And it’d be so easy, too,” Steven says, his once manic tone dropping a little lower, into something that’s worryingly more akin to numb acceptance. “I already know exactly how I’d do it! All I’d have to do is smash my gem so I don’t heal, and slit my wrists, and let myself just—” his voice cracks— “drift away, b-but—”

Lars’ brow hardens with a sudden rush of understanding as the trajectory of the teen’s sentence trails on off. “But something’s… holding you back?”

He nods, swallowing so hard that he can see the resultant lump move along the center line of his throat.

“The problem is,” he says, voice raw and vulnerable, “I’ve already seen how my family would respond to that. To… to me trying to kill myself. When I turned into that monster, I— I don’t actually remember much about it, but what I do remember is that the last thought I had before I changed was eerily similar to what I’m feeling now.”

Momentary lull. He’s rotating a thought in his head with the same intensity of a set of steam engine gears grinding against each other, that much is obvious.

“I think… for me,” he continues with marked hesitation, “corruption was a form of suicide. Which means—” he grinds his fingers into the soft fabric of his pajama bottoms as if seeking out an anchor, any anchor at all— “I already know what that would do to them. And I hate that I do, b-because… ‘cause I’m just so tired. Of all of this. I just want everything to stop. I want to stop.”

Lars can’t help but wince as he listens to the developing theme of this admission, to how each and every new word his friend weaves into existence falls into such dissonant harmony with the gloomy, directionless version of himself he’s worked so hard to let rest in the past. Hell, he might as well be looking straight into some weird, warped mirror of his own teenage years. His lungs seize tight upon this revelation. Instinctively, he extends his hand towards the guy’s shoulder, sobered by the understanding that he’s possibly the sole person in this entire quadrant who’s capable of conveying even an ounce of sympathy or comfort for what he’s battling through right now.

“Hey, man. It’s okay. It’s over, now, you’re here with me. Those are just thoughts, y’know?”

Steven shakes his head, the motion swift and drenched with the dread of all his unaddressed self-loathing.

“But they’re not, though…”

“Wait, what are you even—?”

“Because… this time I almost carried through with it.”

His expression crumples upon the advent of this spoken revelation.

Fuck, he thinks, wishing with every last brittle nerve in his body that this conversation didn’t just swerve in the exact godawful direction he always feared it might. What the actual fuck.

He is so not equipped for this.

With literally nothing else in his arsenal but the drive to bite his lip and listen, Lars motions for him to continue.

Sniffling, the teen backs his story up to provide what little context he feels comfortable with sharing.

“After Connie and I’s fight… well, my dreams were really, really bad. So I woke up. Alone. And I started spiraling real bad again, an’… and then before I could even process what was happening, I—”

Sweet stars, is the poor guy trembling as he struggles to push this admission out. With a brief waver of hesitation (‘cause in normal circumstances, he’s not huge on all this touchy-feely stuff), he reaches over, angling to rest one of his hands over Steven’s.

“I had the knife in my hand,” he says. “And a pestle from the kitchen, to smash my gem. B-but I just… I just couldn’t do it! I’m just a coward, Lars! A stupid fucking coward who can’t even—”

He doesn’t utter a single syllable.

He doesn’t even think. (How could he, in such fraught circumstances?)

Limbs trembling in an outright terrifying cascade of adrenaline he hasn’t experienced since the day he finally found something worth existing for, Lars surges forward to wrap him into what’s gotta be the tightest, most sincere hug he’s given in his whole twenty-one years of life.

And thankfully, such an impulsive interjection is all it takes.

The walls his friend’s erected around himself this past season topples like wayward dominos. They smash against the ground, crumbling into vulnerable, vulnerable fragments.

Steven sobs into his shoulder with a raw, shattered fervency that stretches leagues beyond any outpour of emotion he’s ever witnessed from another living person. It’s messy. It’s visceral. And in the precise context of this intensely specific turn of events, it’s a damn cathartic relief… because when it comes to training your brain out of a deep-rooted death wish, feeling anything— literally anything at all— is step number fucking one.

“I wanted to die so badly,” the teen warbles, his ugly mixture of snot and tears staining his shirt all the while. “B-but… I’m just such a worthless, pathetic failure that I can’t even do that right!”

He can’t help but cringe at this admission, but resolves to remain silent, not wanting a gentle pushback to such brutal self-loathing to spook Steven away from showing any shred of vulnerability whatsoever. He’s been there plenty of times himself. After all, when a person who’s caught in such a void of hopelessness and despair makes a last ditch appeal for help, they’re usually not looking to be told ‘everything will get better in time, you’ll see’ or ‘don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re not a worthless failure at all,’ or whatever other empty attempt at reassurance someone who doesn’t have such intimate experience with depression and suicidal ideation as he does might come up with. In many cases, such people are simply vying for their bleakest, most private feelings to actually be heard for once in their lives.

The moment’s sanctity unhindered, the boy continues to cry against his shoulder for a good long stretch of time. Lars barely even breathes as he sits perched at the very edge of that couch, consigned to nothing but a statue as he holds him within what’s gotta be a record for the galaxy’s most awkward and stiff embrace ever shared.

A miniature eternity passes within this space before those sobs finally begin to lighten up.

“‘M sorry,” Steven mumbles through a face full of snot, pulling away from his offered comfort as a flicker of shame wrests control of his features.

Lars shakes his head in a vehement refusal of the habitual guilt spiral he’s sure the guy’s a split second from slipping right into. “Dude, don’t be. Stars, I— I’m just glad you came over to me, okay?”

Then, swallowing… and doing his upmost best to consider the most respectful way to broach such a sensitive topic, he continues:

“I… I don’t mean to pry, but… are you… taking anything for this?”

Steven’s glassy expression scrunches into a configuration that screams nothing but blank confusion. “What?”

“Like… medication, or—?”

A bright understanding dawns within his gaze like the glow from a passing star system, before immediately collapsing inwards into a bitter, shadowed singularity.

“No… no,” he protests, gesticulating all the while, “I keep telling everyone— my therapist, my dad, the Gems— I don’t wanna take any medicine! I’m not sick, I’m not, I don’t need drugs in my brain, I just— I just need to stop acting like this, just need to do better, to be better, I-I need—”

“Steven, no offense, but it’s called mental illness for a reason,” Lars says in the most deadpan tone he can muster, crossing his arms as he leans back upon the plush of the couch cushion. “Your brain is ill. That’s literally what this is. If you had the flu, you’d be taking flu medicine to help yourself get over it, right?”

“I’ve never had the flu,” he says in miserable contradiction.

“Yeah, well— come on, man, just work with me here,” he half-snaps, throwing a hand up for emphasis. “You agree that someone who is ill deserves medicine to feel better, right?”

The teen merely shrugs, his features growing cold and sullen. And good golly does he super want to smack all this noncommittal, self-sabotaging bullshit out of his stupid fucking system right this instant— because it reminds him so damn much of himself, and he hates that it does— but… aughhh. He’s gotta be more mature than that, doesn’t he?

As the older of the pair, he’s gotta be the role model here.

“Then, don’t you think you might benefit from the same thing?” he presses.

Steven responds in the negative, swiveling his head from side to side. “I don’t know how it’d interact with… well—”

He flashes a sharp gesture towards himself. More specifically, towards his very center, where his gem sits. Lars has no need to live inside his thoughts to pick up on the tricky little issue he’s hinting at here… he’s worried about how human medications would interact with the complexities of part-Gem physiology. And to be fair, it’s a reasonable concern to have.

But then again…

“That’s how it is with humans, too,” he shrugs. “It takes some people a lot of trial and error to find a drug and dosage that works for them. For once, you wouldn’t be any more an unusual case than anyone else. Do what you want, but—” deep inhale— “if it were me, I’d really consider talking with a psychiatrist about this.”

The teen issues a dull huff through his nose. It’s the sort of response that makes it clear he reluctantly agrees with Lars’ logic, but should he actually follow his advice— and stars, he hopes he does— won’t be doing so with a willing heart. That’s fine, though. Sometimes, being the most supportive friend one can be means that the other party won’t always like what you have to say. He knows this from intense personal experience… from being the person on the other side of this kind of conflict. Sadie was never afraid of serving him the tough love and cutting perspective he needed when he opened up to her about his own experience with suicidal ideation, and he’s forever grateful for that. Thus, the least he can do now is try to be that kind of advocate for Steven, too.

Which brings him to the next vital topic rattling within his brain.

“Oh, and one other thing,” Lars says, folding his hands in his lap and looking him directly in the eye. “This is important, so please be honest with me. Have you told anyone else you’ve been struggling with these kinds of thoughts?”

“Not really,” he mumbles, his own gaze slipping aside amidst the turbulent throes of his clear shame. “I just… I wanted to deal with this myself. I don’t want them to be disappointed. They all think I’m doing so well these days, but then—”

“Steven.”

There’s no acknowledgement of his call, at first. He’s just too damn tangled within his own thoughts— expression glazed over and restless fingertips drumming in an endless thrall against his thigh.

“Steven, come on. Look at me,” he implores, interrupting his manic fidgeting with the reassuring solidity of a hand over his. “Please. Promise me, when you go back through my head, you’ll call someone else— anyone else— and tell them. Tell them, and then have them contact me. I want to hear you promise.”

“Lars…”

“Promise me,” he repeats with an even stronger fervency, his normally sluggish heartbeat surging halfway to its old full-strength status quo. “Listen, I don’t want to invade your privacy any more than you want me to, but if you don’t do this by the end of tomorrow… if that very clock—” he jabs a finger towards the so-mentioned object hanging upon his wall— “hits midnight and I don’t hear anything from your family… then I’m calling your father and telling him myself.”

Steven’s expression twists with a sharp jolt of dismay, his mouth falling ajar. Lars cuts off any pending protests with a swift flash of his hand and continues undeterred.

“I’m not joking. I’m like, a billion light years in space, man. You need someone closer to home in your corner, too.”

Unable to ignore the hard hitting truth of this statement, his friend finally acquiesces to his request, his shoulders slumping inwards.

“Fine,” he mumbles, folding his arms to his chest. “I promise I’ll tell Dad.”

“Thank you,” he breathes in sheer spine tingling relief. And by golly, does he uber mean it.

Because holy shit, have the past fifteen or so minutes of conversation been an absolute stress-soaked ordeal. He doesn’t know if he’s ever felt so emotionally exhausted in his whole ass existence.

“In the morning, though,” Steven adds. “I—” the kid heaves a long, exhausted sigh— “I really don’t think either of us are prepared for that kind of conversation this late.”

“Absolutely fair enough.”

His friend sniffles a little, gaze averting once more. “Can I— can I stay here, for tonight? I really, really don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Of course,” he nods. In his mind, Steven’s request was never a matter up for debate. “Always. I’ll… I’ll go get some blankets.”

Hooking his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans, Lars pushes himself off the couch and slowly shuffles his way to the door. (The storage closet he keeps all his extra personal elements in is a short distance down the hall, past Rhody and Padparadscha’s shared room.) He keeps his expression as blank as he can muster… at least until he’s moved well out of both visual and auditory range. And then… once he’s absolutely positive that Steven can’t overhear… all that built-up worry and emotional strain simply overflows.

He’s not outright crying— not in the way that others might— but damn if he’s not real close to it.

Lars’ whole body shudders with a burst of delayed grief as he braces himself upon the closet door. He clamps a hand over his mouth, stifling the impact of the shaky exhale that spills from his lips otherwise unhindered. Just… fuck. What the fuck. All of this feels like a horrible nightmare. When the hell did things get so bad for him? Who let things get this bad? Is he at fault—? Like, geeze— he always knew something felt awry with the kid (and that’s half the issue, isn’t it? He’s not just a sweet little kid with simple lil’ problems anymore, and in many ways he never was), but should he have said something? Confronted him about it? Told his guardians about his concerns, privacy be damned?

He grits his teeth as he muddles over all the infinite complexities of this problem.

Ugh.

What if, what if, what if.

It’s all useless conjecture.

The bottom line is, Steven doesn’t deserve any of this. Not then, not now, not ever. He shouldn’t have to be dealing with any of these horrid, horrid thoughts. Stars, if anything had happened to him— if he actually did follow through with his plan, then—

Lars drops his head against the door panel, doing everything within his power to will the thought to evaporate from his mind.

No.

No…

He doesn’t even want to consider that possibility. Steven’s like a brother to him at this point. It’s not gonna happen. Not now, not ever. Not on his watch.

He’s not sure how yet, but he’ll make damn sure of it.

…

Once he’s cooled himself down, Lars returns to his quarters with a couple of blankets in hand.

Upon passing through the doorframe, he’s met with a somewhat reassuring sight: Steven already sound asleep on his ratty old couch, curled up against the armrest and snoring softly. Heh. He sure doesn’t blame him for tuckering out so soon. Poor guy must’ve been exhausted after such a rigorous emotional outpouring. Moving with calm intent so as not to disturb him, he quickly lays the blankets across his slumbering form before retreating to the far wall to keep watch for the night. He stretches back against the metallic panel, inhaling as deep as he can muster to erase the quavering tension staining his countenance.

Standing vigil over a soul in need… just in case.

#su #su future #lars barriga #steven universe #padparadscha #su fanfiction #my writing stuff

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