#i made a few friends actually. friends at least for an hour or two 😂 human connections are funny that way

[kolour-me-kourt]

Chapter five: Boston Nights

She waited like she always has to do. She waited for him to get in from his flight and come straight to see her. She was his side chick and her whole life consists on her waiting for him. Waiting for him to call or text or to have away games cause that's the only time they could be together truly.

Sometimes she goes to games at home but she always feels tempted to tap his girl on the shoulder and say "you're not special." But he would hate her for that so she stays in the shadows supporting from afar but definitely falling in love with him. He made it easy too and they were practically in a relationship the only difference is they can't be seen in public. She gets the gifts the dick the conversations the pep talks and she gets him ....40% of the time. It was enough for her in the beginning but now she was developing real feelings for him it's the third day of the road trip she's been to all three cities flying ahead of him. As she laid in bed relaxing before he got there she received a message.

"I'm not gonna make it tonight.... Enjoy the room and order whatever you want" she rolled her eyes  "Why not?" "YN don't do that" "don't do what?" "Ask me questions like you have the right to. You got the room paid for two days enjoy it" "Mhm ok thank you I guess" "you guess? what's the issue?" "If I wanted to be in a room alone I could've went home but you don't understand that though" "I don't wanna argue with you I'm actually not about to argue with you" "okay then that's that!" he didn't respond the petty girl In her wanted to order every expensive thing she could think of it's not like he couldn't afford it but she decided not to do that. He had to have a good reason for canceling cause he never really did and when he was out of town he was hers so in reality she was just sad.

Some hours passed by and she got bored of watching movies so she decided to text one of her friends who had moved here for work. "What you up too tonight?" She texted simply making her friend facetime cause she thought it was a cry for help.

"Oh I had to make sure you weren't tied up no where😂" she says while laughing "no I'm just in your city hoe just got here a few hours ago and I'm only here for two days... wanna get me lit tonight? I'm hella bored" "You happen to be in luck cause I just got canceled on" "ew? A Nigga?" "Yupp fuck these Niggas" "nah Fr fuck them why he cancel?" "one of his patients went into labor.... But what that gotta do with me" YN started laughing that's the last thing she was expecting. "Oh wow at least you got valid reason friend" "but yeah what hotel you at ... you wanna go out? Or chill there?" "we should definitely go out it's been a long ass time plus you already dressed" "you right and this nigga gave me his card and said have a good time soooo get ready I know just the place" "wait let me see your fit?" Her friend props the camera up showing YN

"Yesss that's cute I actually packed a dress that color should I wear something else or you wanna twin tonight?" "Any time we dress a like we be on demon time.... Let's do it" "okay bet I'm sending you the address I should be ready by the time you get here even if you leave now" "okay bet can't wait to see you" "byeee💋" they both say and YN hangs up she smiles at least she had faux Locs so she didn't have to worry about her hair. She'll just put on some lashes and lipstick with her hoops that should be enough for tonight after all wherever they go it'll be dark. She does a quick wash and lotion and then slides into her dress.

Within the hour her friend was downstairs ready for her. YN grabs a small nude bag putting in all her important things wallet hotel key pepper spray instant flats just in case her heels were too much by the end of the night and she rushes down the hall to the elevator and down to the main lobby where her friend was waiting. "So it's actually in walking distance right down the street you look amazing" her friend smiled as she talked YN did a cute turn so she could get a full 360 view

"your dress looks even better in person I can see every curve you got boo and I can see your ass from the front it has to be a good night" "let's get it started then" as they walked out of the hotel and down to the club they caught up about how life was going and work YN left out the small detail about being a side chick that wouldn't go over well.Plus she didn't want Melos business out in the streets. They were friends but they didn't meant she wouldn't capitalize off selling his business people get crazy about situations when money gets involved.

When they got to the club the line was extra long making YN become annoyed "maybe we should just go eat 😩" "yeah are we getting to old for this?" They laughed together "shit I wanna be on demon time but I can't wait in no line for it" "okay maybe we should go eat and then think of a game plan" "okay bet" they started to walk back up the street but got stopped as two supper tall men got out of a Rolls Royce and was about to head into the club..... they had to be basketball players YN knew one of them but couldn't put her finger on it ... what is his name? She bits her lip trying to look without staring.

But the darker one stopped in his tracks staring at her friend "please tell me you were about to come in here" her friend smiled "um we were... but the line was too long" he glanced at YN "hey ...." "Hi" she smiled this was awkward he went to the security "those two are with us" YN looked at her friend "I guess that's our plan" they laugh following the giants into the club where the lights were low and the music was loud straight to vip.

All YN kept thinking about in this moment was how glad she was that she came out tonight. Once they got seated. The guy finally spoke up again "so what's your names?" Her friend gave her name and then introduced YN. He didn't say anything else "and your names are?" YN says sounding a bit aggressive but not meaning too.

The lighter friend finally looked at her and smiled .... Jackpot now if she could remember his name she would remember why she knows his face. "Oh my bad I didn't mean to assume you knew who we were but we play for the Celtics I'm Jayson and this is Jaylen " "ooou jaylen and Jayson" YN laughs making Jayson shake his head "why don't you switch spots with YN Jaylen?" Her friend says making jaylen jump up smiling "okay sure" YN stood up switching sides so now YN was beside Jayson and Jaylen was beside her friend and pretty soon her friend was feeling on him which cause YN to gasp and it made Jayson laugh.

"People get a little crazy out here you look shocked" "no I just ... it's been a while since we hung out that's all I'm actually only in town for the game" "oh word? You know somebody on the team?" "Nah not at all I just like watching basketball and well I wanted to visit the city and see my friend so it's a win win" "wait you like watching basketball but you don't know who I am? Did you lie to us?" He became suspicious but tried to play it off with humor "you didn't see me staring outside? My brain is a little cloudy from me pregaming I know your face I know you're amazing but yeah I forgot your name" "alright that'll keep me humble" he liked her answer he could tell it was real.

"Not about keeping you humble I'm sure you're a very humble man" "hmmm what's my position" she bit her lip thinking "power forward" he clapped for her "good job YN" he bit his lip she felt her cheeks getting hot omg did he make her blush. "Don't look at me like that" she shook her head smiling "huh like what?" "It's very .... Provocative" "mmmm I like that word well ms.YN I'll stop being so provocative... if you do the same" her eyes got wide as she playfully hit him. "I am not being provocative." "Nah but your friend is" he pointed with his eyes and there she was feeling all under Jaylens shirt as he grabbed her ass. "Somebody's getting lucky tonight" YN says smiling looking back at Jayson "good for them.... I didn't even wanna come out but I'm glad I did" "why you glad you did?" "Well cause my boy getting lucky it's a team sport" she laughed "so are you only talking to me so I don't bother my friend so your friend could get lucky?" "I mean usually that'll be what this is ... but I like talking to you and you attractive so I have no complaints tonight" "do you even see ugly women? Like the groupies must be crazy"  "just someone is cute doesn't mean they're not ugly" she snaps "you right that was deep.... It's all about what's inside anyway" Before he could respond "WE GON HEAD OUT" YN's friend said loudly so they could hear over the music YN laughed "alright I'll catch up with you tomorrow!" "Aye man be ready for shoot arounds" Jayson said looking jaylen in the eyes

"of course man I'm not new to this" they waved leaving "wellllll I guess I can go too" YN says "now why would you do that?" "Well my friend is gone" "wowwww I thought we were becoming friends" he shook his head she laughed ".... Let's go eat then" "you know a place?" "Nooo but it's your city you tell me..." he smiled "alright let's head out." He stands up and then helps her up guiding her out of the club and into his car. She saw a flash but didn't think anything of it.

"So what are you in the mood for?" "You want the honest answer?" "yeah what's the honest answer?" "I want a really good cheeseburger" "okay bet I know just the place" within fifteen minutes they were inside of a burger bar ordering they got it to go since they were about to close. A few people asked him for pictures and he took them he was so nice to everyone it made her melt they got back in to his car. She held her bag not eating yet. "You can eat we were just gonna eat in the car unless you want me to take you back now?" "Ohhh no we can eat I thought I should wait" "nahh you gotta eat those fries hot" she took a sip of her drink and her phone started ringing it was Melo she quickly hit decline Jayson smiled he assumed it was a man. Melos name in her phone was 😘💋 "So what's your story?" "nothing I don't have one really I'm just a simple girl who likes simple things" he laughed as Melo texts started to roll in

"I saw you out with Jayson .... Now that's crazy Fr" "it's all over Instagram and twitter so don't fuckin lie to me" "so you ain't see me call?" "Oh so you still out with him? That's wack as fuck and you know it is" the text rolled in back to back she glanced at her Apple Watch trying to read them without going too deep into her phone "so you single? Who blowing your phone up?" She sighed making Jayson draw his own conclusions"that complicated huh?" "Very complicated....I'm single very single but he's possessive and really has no right to be" "mmm so why not answer him tell him you out with me?" "Oh he knows ... so it's no need to" "at least message that man back I feel bad" she laughed thankful that he said that "okay fine"

"I thought we don't ask questions" "nah you don't ask me questions where tf you at?" "Look you seem a little tight rn I'll talk to you tomorrow Goodnight" then she put him on dnd "so you good now?" Jayson asked smiling  "Yeah I put him on dnd" "That's cold why you do that?" "Cause we supposed to be getting to know each other ... right? I can't do that burried in my phone ... now can I?" He licked his lips "Nah I guess not" he smiled she was the most interesting person he had met in a while

"so what makes him possessive... y'all dealing with each other and just not dating? Wussup?" She laughed "yes" "so that's why he's possessive shiddd if I had someone like you on my arm I would be too" she smiled "but what if someone else was already on your arm and you just happened across me afterwards" "ohhhhhh!!!! That's what's going on?" She nodded her head " hypothetically speaking"she says slowly Jayson laughed "you act like I know the man" she shrugged making him pick up on her vibe again "wait do I know him? he's a celebrity?" she smiled "I don't tell my business when it involves other people business getting out there so I can't tell you one way or the other"

"if he wasn't famous you would've just said that but I respect you for that probably some lame ass rapper.... Who your favorite rapper" she laughed and said the first name that popped in her head "Nicki Minaj" "well I'm assuming you don't like girls so male rapper ... go" "drake😬" "Drake hmmmm okay" she laughed "why did you say it like that?" "I don't know I was expecting you to be a lil more rugged you know say some thug rapper" "I listen to everything so it's a few of them on my playlist too" she picks up her lemonade sipping slow staring in his eyes it made him feel something it made her feel something too but she didn't wanna admit that.

"Well I should be getting to bed" she licked her lips he glanced at the clock "oh wow it is getting late let me get you to your hotel" as he starts the car she focuses on his side profile

"Soo I've been in the hot seat all night wussup with you?" She says studying him "well my son and basketball are my whole life" "hmmm so you single?" "Very... more single than you" she laughed "shoots fired" "a lil bit" "so again hypothetically speaking if I was as single as you would you be taking me back to my room right now?" "Yeah .... But I would go up with you" she bit her lip "but you don't want too?"

He glanced at her "I do but I don't wanna be apart of that drama if I'm being honest I like to stay low key and out of shit like that so respectfully I would have to decline" "that's understandable I totally get it" "but shit I'll see you tomorrow you got tickets" "yeah I do but I won't be on your side" "yikes it's like that?" She laughed "I wasn't expecting to meet you tonight" he makes it to the parking lot but parks on the street cause he was sure they weren't done talking yet. "I guess that's true but next time you come you gotta sit on my side" "I would love too" "well it was nice meeting you" she sighed "yeah you too" he starts the car back up but doesn't move yet

"I'm all about being in the moment and not thinking of consequences so sorry if I'm reading this vibe wrong but...." He cuts himself off leaning over to kiss her .... It felt amazing shit it made her moan. It was one of those kisses that was practically sex. He grabbed her neck squeezing softly as he kissed her and then he pulled away. "So if you ever wanna get rid of that bullshit situation.... I'm here" "fuckkk" she said softly out of breath she hadn't been this turned on in a while. "And you still don't wanna come up?" He shook his head no "nah you got the kiss cause I couldn't resist myself" "welll how about I give you my number so we can stay in contact...." "Alright bet..." she says her number so he can type it into his phone and then he texted her a emoji so she could save his number too.

"Alright let's get you to your room.... I'll just drop you off if I walk up there you might tempt me" She smiled "yes I would definitely try too so this is the best bet" they shared a laugh as he pulls out into the street and then into the hotel parking lot pulling up right to the door . "Welll byeee don't be afraid to use my number" she says smiling "I won't be afraid... you stay out of trouble" she gathers the trash from the food leaving only his drink. "No promises" " oh thank you for that I would've got it" "the trash can right there it's fine" she smiled opening the door making sure she had everything "bye be safe" he says "I will... text me when you get home" "will do" she finally gets out of the car shutting his door and throwing away the trash he watches her walk all the way into the hotel until he couldn't see her Frame anymore and then he pulls off.

She gets on the elevator smiling ear to ear she can't think of a time she's ever been kissed like that and the conversations they had was crazy. She got her key out of her purse but before she could unlock the door. Her door flies open.

........

[dabislilbaby]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Two ppl actually tagged me in this so thank you @malewifetouya and @happyely 🖤🖤🖤

Sadly some of my most favorite projects are ones that are still sitting in my drafts unfinished 😭 but out of all the ones I've posted these are the ones I'm most proud of <3

"Come Home" — Deku:

I don't even know if this would be considered a fic?? Cuz honestly this was such a short little thing that I wrote in under like 15 minutes 😭 probably the shortest amount of time it's taken me to ever write literally anything. But it was after I watched S6 E136 and literally that night I had a dream where this whole scene was played out in my head. And it just felt so dramatic in the right ways and just raw emotion that I had to write it down. And it's STILL my most liked post on this entire blog😭 but honestly understandable bc sometimes I go back and read it and I'm just like "damn wait I wrote that????" lmfaoo

"Only for you, Toshi" — Shinsou:

Completely opposite from the last one, this is actually the longest thing I've ever written. (that's posted anyway, there's a few longer still in my drafts) I just feel like Shinsou doesn't get enough love but he definitely deserves it😭❤️ all my friends that read it said they really enjoyed it and I'm just really happy with how it came out after working on it for a couple weeks, and that not touching it for a few months and then coming back to it only to finish it in like 2 days lmao

"Attention" — Dabi:

Now this wouldn't be a post about my fics if I didn't include something for my absolute favorite character in the entire show🖤 this fic was very self indulgent bc I'm such a brat🤭 and I'm convinced that Dabi is the king of brat taming. Fun fact, the outfit I described is something I literally own in my closet 😂

"Secrets" — BakuDeku x reader [UNFINISHED]:

This is a multi-part series I'm co-writing with my bsf @haru-x-ren on a joint account we made. (@bunny-x-haru if you'd like to follow) it's currently still a work in progress with only a few parts released, but it is a continuation of a 2 part fic I wrote when I first started called "You're the Only Thing That Makes Sense" — Bakugo So I do recommend reading this one first before Secrets for context and background info. I feel like you can really see my growth in writing from then to now, cuz that was like literally the second thing I ever posted lol. And Haru was literally my biggest fan bc he's the one that got me into writing fanfic<3 so after he read it, he had this absolutely BRILLIANT idea (spoiler) to take the scene I wrote where bakugo and deku were caught fighting after school hours (similar to that scene from season....2? When Bakugo learned about OFA) and turn it into a BakuDeku love triangle and I was honestly obsessed with the idea

And lastly

"For Your Eyes Only" — Dabi:

Another one for my fav<3 this one was for his birthday and is very nasty🤭 also with a little bit of fluff at the end bc I am indeed a hopeless romantic with no romance🥲 also, the cover photo is most definitely the reaction I was imagining when he walks into the room lmao

Side Note:

I know it's been a while since I've posted any writing and I am so sorry 😭 I guess I've just been in a little bit of a funk when it comes to my creativity lately. I mean I've got plenty, and I do mean PLENTY of ideas written down, but Im having a hard time executing them and turning them into something I can post. But I promise I'll get back to posting as soon as I can and I'm really sorry to everyone who has been waiting for stuff😭 I appreciate your patience❤️

Here's 5 other writers I recommend<3

@cathwritestragediesnotsins @aquadenks @kemakoshume @coffee-colored-hopeless-romantic + any other writers who'd like to make ur own posts<3

[nientedal]

my phone is being annoying but BOOK EMOJI

ahahaha omg 😂 ok so book emoji, talking about a fic i have in my head but have never written down!

stereotypical amnesia fic beneath the cut, lol

Roxanne gets into some kind of accident and hits her head. Wakes up in the hospital with her mother dozing in a chair. Mom is OVERJOYED Roxanne is awake; it's been sort of touch and go for a while as to whether she would wake up at all. She's had people working on a solution but this will be such good news, hooray, she's lucid, she's feeling mostly fine--

And then Roxanne sees the ring on her finger, and oh. Okay. She is not fine, actually. She's lost nearly all of the last three years, and several prior to that are exceptionally spotty.

Her mom is left with the unenviable position of navigating some...ah...fairly major news. Yes, you're very happy together. Three rings, right, wedding band and two engagement; you're sort of...well, also married to his best friend? What's that word your brother is...? Aromantic, queerplatonic, yes. Neither of them is anyone I would have ever picked for you, but you're happy and I do know when I'm beaten, so... well, anyway, the only reason your man isn't here is I made him go home to take a shower and a nap. And to start putting together a better MRI scanner so he would stop fretting over your charts. Yes, he's building it himself. And no I haven't said his name yet, and... yes you do probably already know him, it's just-- well, you see-- um-- tell, tell you what, let's call Wayne, shall we? I think this will probably sound a little better coming from Wayne--

So that's a thing.

Roxanne takes the news...not well, but not totally poorly either. Mostly she's just stunned. But if her mother can admit she's happy with Megamind, that says a lot. That's...promising. Reassuring. And Wayne confirms everything her mother has said, which is similarly reassuring.

Megamind, on the other hand, takes it VERY poorly. Wayne says she's awake and his heart leaps, and then Wayne says there's a slight problem, her last clear memory of you is from early 2009, and his heart sort of collapses in his chest. He's been working on his self-worth and has come a long way but he's had a long two weeks and right now, from where he's sitting, all he can think is that Roxanne was a miracle that is not going to happen twice. This is absolutely the end for them. He'll start researching divorce lawyers immediately.

(Roxanne is initially of the opinion that yes, that is probably for the best, but Wayne convinces her to at least give the little guy a chance. Come on, Roxie, for Minion’s sake. Please?)

From here it's sort of...Roxanne slowly regaining her footing. Traumatic brain injuries are a helluva drug; her mind works differently from how it used to and it's a struggle sometimes in ways she doesn't expect. And she can't remember things she wants to and it's SO disorienting, and Megamind and Minion are obviously both struggling as well for other reasons but they are being so lovely with her, and she keeps shying away and it's awful, she hates it. Megamind gave her a photo album to maybe help her put some things together, and it isn't really working yet but maybe if she just keeps at it she'll be able to remember just a little more-- okay, Wayne was right, he is worth trying, but come ON, brain, fucking WORK--

Megamind wanders down to the kitchen in the wee hours one morning a few weeks later for a snack or something and Roxanne is there with the album. She's...having a little bit of a moment. Little bit of a cry. She's sitting at the kitchen table looking at this one picture that someone took of all three of them-- Megamind and Roxanne and Minion when they were on some vacation somewhere together and Roxanne snuck up behind the other two to pounce on them and hug both of them at once. So she's in the middle with her arms around their shoulders and all three of them are laughing. And she's like, "I can't remember this and I WANT TO, we look so HAPPY and I don't know if I'll ever get any of this back-- you're so sweet to me now and your bed smells like home and I don't know why and I want to, I want to--"

He's been keeping his distance since she came home. Has been waiting and letting her initiate whatever contact between them. But he goes to her now and pulls her into a hug without thinking because he cannot fucking stand it, and she just wraps her arms around him as hard as she can.

"Okay," he says, patting her hair and trying to think of what to do and mostly just wanting to burst into tears right along with her. "Okay. It's okay."

It's not okay. It's not okay and she doesn't know how to make it be okay, but it's been a few weeks and Roxanne is tired of waiting to maybe remember and tired of hoping for something that isn't coming and tired in general, and so she asks him to come to bed with her. Just stay with her, please; she's freaking out and she wants to be held, and fuck it. Fuck it. Come to bed.

In the morning at breakfast, hearing all this, Minion says, okay. So, photo album isn't working, or if it is it's not working the way we were hoping for. New plan: let's go on another trip? Let's all go somewhere together. Traveling. Maybe go see some places we've seen already, definitely go see some places we've never seen. Maybe your old memories will come back and maybe they won't, but either way we'll make new memories and have a good time making them. Let's go.

.............And idk if that's the end of the story or if there's more story that's just them going around places. I haven't played much with the traveling itself

[citylightsandsettingsuns]

During the month of January 2022, I went on a first date that I had absolutely no desire to go on. In fact, I remember telling my friend the night before that I wanted to cancel and that I felt sick when the guy texted me and said, “Looking forward to meeting you tomorrow.” I was completely pessimistic about the date, but my friend encouraged me to give him a chance. I begrudgingly agreed because I don’t like breaking plans with people, but as I got ready for the date the next morning, I decided that I was going to get through an hour with the guy, go home, and then text him and tell him I wasn’t feeling it.

I remember sitting at the table at one of my favorite restaurants thinking, “Well, at least I’ll get a free meal out of this date.” 😅 Then, he showed up. After about twenty minutes of conversation, I remember thinking to myself, “I think I am on a date with the person I’m going to marry.” I felt an unbelievable sense of peace in my heart throughout the entire date: We ended up staying at the restaurant for way too long and finally decided to continue our conversation at a nearby coffee shop because we were clearly hogging a table, and we didn’t want to be those people. 😂 After another couple of hours at the coffee shop, we decided that, even though we didn’t want the date to end, he needed to get back to his house and his dog. (He had driven 2 hours to meet me!) We hugged goodbye, and he promised to text me as soon as he got home.

After about two hours, I got the text that he had arrived home safely and another text saying, “I had a great time today and would love to see you again!” I texted back, and we immediately made plans for a date the following weekend.

That day was the first day of the most beautiful moments of my life. I cherished every second with this man, and I prayed every day for God to please, please, please let me keep him. I woke up feeling excited and grateful every day, and I fell asleep feeling content every night.

One day, though, I noticed a drastic shift in energy. I kept trying to tell myself that it was all in my head, that I was only feeling this way because I had gotten so used to having my heart broken, that everything was going to be okay as long as I didn’t panic. But, as I was getting ready to leave his house and drive the two hours back to mine, this beautiful, kind, brilliant, hilarious, genuinely good man took my hands and told me that his feelings for me just weren’t progressing. He wasn’t falling in love with me, and he knew it wasn’t fair to stay in a relationship with a woman he wasn’t in love with. I stared up at him for a few seconds with tears pooling in my eyes, blinked those tears away, and said, “Okay.”

I drove away from his house in silence. When I got home, I spent the rest of the day on my couch. I went to work the next morning and taught the youth of America about literary analysis. And I kept going.

It’s been several months since I’ve spoken to him. He hasn’t reached out since the day he ended things; I reached out once (embarrassingly), and he kindly told me that his decision was final. (Actually, I’m not embarrassed about that. I shot my shot. If I hadn’t at least tried, I would never forgive myself.)

I have spent the past several months trying to be okay with the fact that 2022 ended so differently than how it started. Honestly, I thought there was a real possibility that I would be engaged by the end of this year. I was that confident in my relationship with this man.

To cope, I have been trying to view the events of this year through the lens of “What is this teaching me?” At first, I was furious and devastated (and still am, some days), and all I could think was, “This is teaching me that I’ll never find love because nobody ever fucking stays.” I hated the universe and God for being so cruel, for giving me a man who was everything I’ve ever wanted and then taking him away so suddenly.

But after several months of reflection and meditation and prayer (and hysterically crying and screaming and throwing things), I am going to say that this is what 2022 has taught me: This year has taught me that I have the capacity to love so deeply, and that, because I’ve done it once, I can do it again and again and again. If you’ve been following me for awhile, you may remember that I went through a terrible breakup four years ago, and I finally healed from that—but I spent a long time thinking that I could never love someone as much as I loved that guy four years ago. And look at me now: I have loved someone ten times more than I loved that guy four years ago. ❤️ So, even though my heart is crushed into a million pieces, even though I stalked this guy’s instagram and found another girl commenting hearts on his photos (ouch! Fucking ouch!!!!!), even though I still cry from time to time for the loss of so much love—I know that this pain won’t last forever, and that one day, I will be able to open my heart again and love someone even more than I love this guy. A heart that’s hurting is a heart that’s working, and I’m hopeful that this year—a year where I’ll watch my younger brother marry the love of his life and my best friend marry the love of hers—will be filled with so much love that the shattered pieces of my heart will form the most beautiful mosaic anyone has ever seen.

[colorguardsweetheartblurrsgirl]

Totally did something I was not expecting.

Work on story: No

Work On Art: No

Had all the resources infront of me ready to get a few ar Peices done. 😏🥴😖😓😒😒😒 YES!!!

What did I do instead you may ask???

Open the Sheet music app and began retooling my song front two years ago that was originally the main theme for the first act. Or at least the first half of the first act. I took advice from friends and family that it just needed a little something more at the start and end. There was a good oomph as start made me think battle scene... but it needed something. I finally thought of the sound I wanted.

Found the Drum Rills I wanted (Though it took hours to find the exact one I litterlaly typed the exact words in the name and toik hours to find some reason and countless searches).

Found a bell sound I was totally like Yeha that could eb a fun opening..

Theb thought, eh I made the document. Might as well plop the opening down.

I have problem currently staying up all night zi guess.😓🤣😂😅😅😅

Yep, spent all night working on the song. I ahve to admit the guitar part so uh nds coll. The opening including open ik gn chorus. Sounds awesome. Maybe a few tweeks here and there. I restyled and also redid the notations and the octaves of tlntoss as well as their notation time signatures to fit with the new speed and design I'm going foe with the comic. And funny enough didnt even get the main theme in there this was all the themes that combine with it

Later parts are a but messy. But blhoenstly first minute sounds pretty cool, totally plants an image. So I hope it works out. Just have to retools thjnklgs Inliked about the old open in ng a but more before ri works. But after alls said and done what leads into the opening a piano followed by a guitar pick iij ng up thebebat a bit. Can say it sounds far better then the old music.

All the same cnat believe how much time I spent on it. But I got started on the new angle I'm going for. And it kinda gives a real atmosphere to it. Hopefully you guys will like it I've studied both college level and under music practically my whole life but I'll say 25 years practically since I was 5. So writtinflg music is soemthing I often do. I just havent really performed my lyrical stuff. I even have a lyrical song or a few I came up with for the comic. Although, I'm not sure they will fit with the comics main theme.

I will say thebprologues theme has been ready and done for 2 years now. And yeah I'm not changing that puppy. Its... well saying anything will give away a plot point. I'll just say it will get you're heart pumping... in a scary kinda way. Showed it to friends and family and they are like "Okay that was freaking creepy. That, you wrote that miss ray of sunshines?" I just knew what I wanted for teh prologue had a certain tone I wanted setting in. And it worked.

Well heres today's update for you. I'll probably post some pic later today. But till then take care. I'll see if I could post a snippet of the song later tod sass y or in the next few days. Probably will have to use one of my actual music programs to do that without saving and unfinished product.

... but till whatever update comes next.

Take care and have a blast.

(Ps. I knwo how to play the harp and paino. However, I dont own a harp anymore where I used to rent closed its doors long ago. And my piano is a keyboard I've had since 7 whose cord keeps absconding from me, so if your wondering I can play instruments I jsut have difficulty keeping track of them thus I use programs instead) I recently fo uh nd recordings I made at my families property two years ago on the old family piano, just me silently at night alone plucking out cords and slowly creating a song, and occassionally messing up... it was when I was first figuring out Lenna's theme. At the time trying to keep it more towards H.S. in theme and sound. This has since changed and I'm leaning more towards the other inspiration that shaped most of the characters since the start. So the sound has since changed. It used to have a country western sound to it.

[nichimgriff]

besonders das letzte Foto ist voll schön! sieht aus als hättest du ne gute Zeit gehabt ☺️

Dankeschön! Und danke für die Nachricht ❤️

Ja, es hat sich so extrem gelohnt dort so spontan hin zu fahren! Auch so viele tolle Leute aus dem discord dort getroffen ❤️

basically, they posted a story that they will do a signing session at 4pm I think and I had so little energy that day but the more I thought about it the more I knew I'd never forgive myself if I did not go there. looked up train connections and I would arrive there with about 15 minutes to spare if I left immediately.

yeah well, all the trains to cologne were standing still for one whole hour and it was hot as hell and extremely full once we had to squeeze multiple train loads into the first train that was allowed to leave to cologne.

the moment I finally arrived there and recognised people I felt so relieved, they said it was really visible 😂 was so anxious the whole time that they might be gone when I arrive because the session was only planned for half an hour and I was going to be an hour late.

packed some sticker (Wednesday meme frog with the text "fck nazis my dudes, but in German) at home to give to them but could only find two once I got there, so I gave one to Kevin and then offered the other one to David, Daniel and Danskimo and Daniel took it, but Kevin was happier about it I guess xD

talked to Kevin so much and he was so lovely and even weeks later I would just randomly think back to it and smile stupidly :3

told him about my way there and he was amazed I made that trip just to get there. we also looked each other in the eyes for a few seconds without talking and I was so close to get lost in them 😅 told him I was still a baby fan and it was so great to see them in real life and he said it was great to see us as well ❤️

then we took the pictures and he asked me for my name, made sure to write it correctly, and put a heart next to it ♥️

gotta admit I paid too little attention to the others but I was still so flashed by the encounter with Kevin and I didn't know enough about the others yet so I got an autograph by all of them but only really talked to Nico, asked him for a selfie and he said "of course!" smiled and got up to stand next to me while I was trying to talk about my trip there and the person taking the pics was already doing so while I wasn't ready yet and you can totally see it in the pictures. so happy I have at least one pic I was actually smiling on xD

I kind of made my face in those pictures into a meme with some friends, because I'm literally looking like I'm thinking "ew Nico, someone please take me back to Kevin" while he is all sweetheart, smiling and being cute 😂😂😂

loooove looking back to those pictures, even helped me research for a fic I'm currently working on :D

Also talked to Kevin about memes and he's pretty much the reason I started the meme pages on Instagram and he has shared one edit I made into his story, a reel we posted as well and generally has liked so many of our posts already and aaaah I just love him ❤️

and because this is getting long have another pic of that day that I love so much: (excuse my everything 😅)

[mitigatingacademics]

{12.25.23}

Merry Christmas, friends. 🎄

This year truly reminded me why I enjoy working the holidays.

Despite baking copious cookies, offering up Party Perks full of slow cooker hot cocoa (they're not made for that...have you ever tried to clean one after it's been used for something it's not made for? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣) and dressing like an elf for the past four Christmas Eves, it's been hit and miss.

In 2020 we only had two trains and half the crews due to Covid furloughs. Last year we were blasted by winter weather so severe that I came back from my annual December vacation (for baking) to 3 nights without trains and finally, at least, 2 on Christmas Eve.

Last year's (workplace) Christmas was even harder than 2020's, to be honest. With the Covid cuts we knew what to expect. Fav co-worker was at a down-line station and we sent each other gifts on the train. One of my favorite Conductors was furloughed -- I actually took her gift to her house and got to see her extensive Christmas village set-up and gorgeous real tree. We adjusted.

Last year's arctic blast was unanticipated (at least beyond a few days out) and we were left, more or less, with our hands tied as to options and little else to do but apologize and feel bad.

To put it into perspective -- this year's company official ugly sweater says 'Getting You Home For The Holidays' ...which is exactly what we were NOT doing last year. 😔

This year, fully staffed and 60 degrees (which I admit I also complained about a bit, but...less -- the sweet spot is, failing a dusting of our own, being able to chisel a piece of a white Christmas off the New York train and hold it in your hand -- I'm not kidding, see below from my first Christmas at this station 😂 ) spirits were festive and good times were had.

It felt right and I'm very grateful.

White Christmas 2018 be like:

Favorite and most meaningful gifts this year include:

From Mom (selected by me).

I also received two books by Rachel Maddow and a whole-ass desk situation (I've needed a desk for so long, I can't wait to get everything put together and arranged!).

When Jamie's book arrived:

Mom: Who is Jamie Raskin?

Me: He's a Congressional Representative from Maryland. ... He was on the J6 Committee.

Mom: Of course he was. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Me: He's also an incredibly intelligent and articulate professor of Constitutional Law? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Dad gave generously in the form of gift cards, several of which are for Amazon and will undoubtedly go towards more books.

You can never have too many books. 📚

From fav co-worker.

I'm no longer holding a (selfish and inappropriate) grudge against her for bidding off the regular that had us working together 3 nights a week. She had her reasons and, as I told her the first time she brought it up (though it took a hot second to get over myself and actually mean it 🤦🏻‍♀️😂); I hope it helps in the way she thinks it will.

Even when we're not working together multiple nights a week, she still knows me better than just about anyone these days. These items are just a few from a huge bag of individually wrapped thoughtfulness.

I love Harry Potter in Dutch more than I could possibly explain.

Once I get through the Feb. LSAT (decided we're sticking with that one, for better or worse -- last night and tonight are the first nights since my last real post that I haven't spent at least an hour with Brad Barbary 😂), I want to get back to practicing Dutch (and French) for more than just keeping my Duolingo streak alive.

Inspiring Women Fisher-Price Little People edition is equally amazing. I'd never even seen this set (and I love it!) but also, I now have a 'collection' of these items so the next time Amazon tries to sell me the Sanderson Sisters or Golden Girls I don't have to worry about starting yet another collection. ...it was done for me! 🤣

It goes without saying that Sweet Liz telling the world, in a best-selling memoir which will undoubtedly be instrumental in the way that she's remembered far into the future, that the GOP is led by morons, is one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given.

Beyond my unending appreciation for the commendable sass with which Liz so articulately expresses herself, I am truly and seriously so grateful for the time and effort she put into not only the things that she's done, but the book she wrote about it.

I was asking for a book before its existence was announced, it had a great deal to live up to in my mind, anticipation aside, and it went above and beyond. Full review to follow (I'm almost done with my notes).

I have an incredibly blessed life and I am very grateful.

[hyperfixated-gvf]

Steal Some Covers, Share Some Skin

On the eleventh day of Tropemas, hyperfixated-gvf gave to me: 

An “AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED” Josh fic combined with a certain request from a Nonnie.

Christmas Song Pairing: “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” by Bing Crosby

~~~

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Reader

Warnings: Language, smut, voice kink, squirting, light overstimulation, kinda unedited, I’ll fix things as I over-criticize it 😂

Words: 5.9k

~~~

“Josh?”

You were still shaking snow off of your coat when you approached the curly-haired man in the white sweater hesitantly, not having seen the man you were looking to find for…well, a long time.

He glanced up from his phone, and smiled pleasantly, eyes drifting all over your face. “Y/N! It’s nice to see you, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

The bottom-heavy suitcase in your hand thumped upright as you took a rest, leaning on the locked handle. “Yeah, it has.” A small silence stretched between you as you took your phone out to check your ticket for the 20th time since you’d woken up. “Do you have your ticket?”

Josh nodded and tapped his screen a few times, tilting it towards you so that you could see the screenshot.

The whole situation was a little bit wonky – you didn’t know Josh all that well, he was just an acquaintance/friend of your friend’s that was travelling along the same route as you. Your friend knew that you hated travelling alone, so she’d sent a couple of texts, grouped you two in a chat, and bada-bing, bad-bam, bada-boom – you had a travel buddy.

And you did appreciate having him with you, despite not knowing him super well – you’d met a couple of times at various parties, events, and had even gone to one of his shows with your friend – you weren’t sure why he wasn’t travelling with his band, but that wasn’t your business, so you weren’t super concerned.

“Great! We should go get through security now, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

The wait in line was a little bit awkward, but not horrible – conversation was pretty much confined to small talk and a discussion of movies, books, and pop culture that you were both interested in. The wait was long and rather taxing, though – the holiday rush definitely not working to your favor, but you made it through, finally finding two seats in front of your gate.

“So, where have you been most recently, then?”

You finally started conversation up again after having spent the last half an hour doing body checks and wading your way through the crowds.

“Oh, we actually finished up a US tour just a few months ago. Since then, we’ve been petering around Nashville – writing songs and making plans and just…taking a small break.”

One leg was crossed over the other as you reclined in the seat. “Where are your brothers, then?”

Josh smiled. “Off doing their own things. Jake is flying home with Jita in a couple of days, Sam is already back home with Danny just hanging out with our families, and…I’m here,” he finished.

“Well, at least you—”

The rest of your sentence was cut off by the intercom, a voice announcing delays due to a snow advisory that was just put in place across the Midwest, and that flight times should be checked on the screens that were littered around boarding areas.

Knowing your destination, you ominously locked eyes with Josh and then stood up at the same time, walking over to a mounted screen that already had a crowd of people accumulating.

Delays for: Indiana, Iowa, Minnesota, Kentucky, and…shit. Michigan.

And not just by a couple of hours.

“You’re gotta be – eragh!”

Josh’s muttered exclamation was a sentiment you shared, looking at the board that was telling you that your flight was being delayed until 10 am the next day, when the snow advisory would hopefully lift.

You blew your own sigh out and ran your tongue over your teeth, making a game-plan for the next few hours. You’d have to text your parents, but that could wait until you found a hotel nearby – you really didn’t want to spend the night in the airport seats and force Josh to stay awake while you slept and then have to wake up so that he could, and you were already so exhausted.

Your phone pinged with the notification from the airline of the delay, along with a code for a free taxi to one of the hotels surrounding the airport.

And despite the inconvenience of the delay, you were grateful that the airline was trying to do something to compensate, even if the weather really was out of their control.

“Well,” Josh sighed, phone going off with assumedly the same message, “I guess we should go get a taxi, then.”

You made your way back across the airport, passing by the stupid security line that had taken you hours to get through.

There was a long line of shivering travelers lined up at the curb, taxis being loaded up and leaving nearly as soon as they pulled up. You grabbed the first of that you could for you and Josh after waiting 10 minutes to get to the front, and after showing the cab driver your code and processing his questions of, “Where to?”, told him that the hotel didn’t matter, just one that would get you guys a couple of rooms.

And looking back on it, you probably should have specified “not the one closest to the airport” because that would obviously be the one that filled up the quickest and would obviously be the one he took you to in order to transport as many people possible.

But you didn’t, so here you were, at the back of the line with even more people trickling in behind you, trying to keep up with the deluge of texts from your family and hoping to all things good and holy that you could get a room before they all filled up.

The head of curls in front of you was also talking quite animatedly on the phone, sighing out, “Look, I’m sorry, okay? Just…just tell Mom and Dad that I will be home, Y/N and I – no, no, Y/N is the friend I said I was flying with, she’s not – okay, well, if you stopped interrupting me, Samuel, maybe I could – you know what, fuck you, I’m hanging up.”

A long-suffering sigh escaped him and you chuckled, sending off you own text. “Taking a break probably doesn’t hold much weight when your band members are your brothers, does it?”

“You have no idea.”

You were slowly moving up in line, only three people left – two singles and one couple – and the front desk worker was looking wearier and wearier by the second.

“I just want a shower and a bed,” you sighed. “That’s all.”

Josh smiled. “We’ll get there. Eventually.”

The first person in line received a key and you took a couple steps forward. One single, one couple.

A few minutes later, one single.

Before she helped the customer, though, she looked apologetically at the line that was still extended nearly to the entrance. “Hey, everyone, I’m sorry, but we only have two singles left. It might be better if you started making plans at another hotel.”

There were grumbles and sighs, and immediately, most of the line dispersed, hoping to catch a stray cab. Josh turned to you, blowing a breath out. “Well, that’s not ideal, now is it?”

You huffed out a humorless laugh and pressed your eyes into the heels of your hands. “No, it’s not.” You only spent a second pitying your situation before you pulled out your phone, bringing up the Uber app. “But it is what it is. You get the room here, I’ll call an uber and go to one of the hotels nearby, and we can meet up at the airport again tomorrow.”

Josh looked taken aback for a moment, but immediately protested. “No, no, we can both find a different hotel – it’ll be easier to stay together now that we’re here.”

“Next?”

The front desk worker blinked and blushed a little bit as Josh glanced her way.

You were surprised that she had been the first person to physically recognize Josh – you figured there were others, but at a busy airport, there was only so much you could do. Still, you’d expected a few waves or glances thrown his way.

He turned back to you, lips twisted in thought. “Actually, hold on a sec.” Back to the front desk. “Hello there! You said you only had one single room left, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“What kind of bed is it?”

The worker squinted and searched the screen. “One double.”

Josh nodded. “And would this room happen to have a pull-out couch? Or is there any way that a couple extra comforters could be delivered to the room?”

The worker frowned and clicked a few things on the desktop in front of her. “Let me see…oh! Okay, yes, it looks like this particular room does have a pull-out couch since it’s technically a suite.”

Josh clenched his fist in victory before meeting your eyes. “What do you say? It’s just one night, and it’s just a place to sleep. I’m tired, and I’m pretty sure you are too, and if this is what –”

“Let’s just take it,” you said, cutting Josh off. “You’re right, I’m so tired, and I really don’t care if I sleep on a pull-out couch or a waterbed at this point,” you laughed.

Josh smiled. “Don’t be silly, I’ll take the couch.”

You couldn’t argue back because he turned and gave the worker his information, taking his card out and waiting for the transaction to go through.

“Thank you,” you said softly, “for paying. I’ll Venmo you or something, just let me know how much the total is.”

Josh waved your off. “I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s no big deal, I got it. It’s only one bed, afterall.”

You smiled as Josh was handed the key. “Still.”

He returned your smile in response and then looked at the key. “Room 412,” he muttered, eyes searching for the elevators.

The ride up was quiet, exhaustion seeping into the late hour, nothing but the roll of wheels against worn carpet and the soft hum of the heating system accompanying the two of you to your room, Josh inserting the keycard into the reader on the door, the light beeping green.

“Home sweet home,” Josh sighed, flicking on the light.

It was noticeable immediately. The size of the room was not that of a suite, and there was no couch in sight – in fact, other than the standard bed, nightstand, and hutch with a TV and small coffee maker, the only furniture in the room was a scratchy-looking armchair in the corner of the room.

“Okaaaaay,” you drawled, “I’m gonna make a quick call to the front desk.”

Josh’s bottom lip was sucked in between his teeth. “Yeah.”

The dial tone to the front desk turned into elevator music, and you waited in silence for a few minutes until the worker picked up. “Hello, this is the front desk.”

The poor girl sounded frazzled to all hell, and you were sure with a full house, she was probably busier than ever, and you felt bad that you had to bring a problem like this to her.

“Ah, yes, hi. I’m currently in room 412, and my friend and I were informed that since it was a suite, it would have a pull-out couch, but there’s not one in here.”

There was a small pause. “And are you here on reservation?”

“No.”

“Okay. Well, and this is for certain my fault, because I had to be the one to tell you it was a suite, but I must have been looking at another room. I’m afraid we don’t have any more rooms available. I’m sorry, is there anything we can do to make your stay more enjoyable?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Uh. Do you have any extra comforters that could be sent to the room?”

“Yes. I can have one arranged to be delivered in a few minutes.”

“Okay, that would be great, thank you.”

Once you had hung the phone up, Josh raised his brows, waiting for the resolution. He still held his bag in one hand, ready to have to up and move out to another hotel.

You shrugged, sitting on the bed. “She said she must have been looking at the wrong room when she told us it was a suite, and of course there’s no other room we can move to. They’re gonna bring up an extra comforter, so if it’s okay with you, I’ll just make a little makeshift bed with the two comforters on the floor for tonight.” You already knew he was going to protest, so you shut him down before he could say anything. “You’re already paying for the room, so you get the bed. Now,” you said, standing up and ruffling through your suitcase, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and everything, I’ll take a shower in the morning.”

Josh looked uncomfortable and like he wanted to say something, but set his bag down as you went to the bathroom.

You weren’t in there very long, maybe 10 minutes at most, and when you came back into the room, Josh was sitting, looking rather detached on the bed. When the door opened, though, he shot up.

“There was another mix-up,” he said lowly.

“Uh-oh. What was it this time?”

Josh pointed to the waffled blanket sitting folded on the end of the bed. “They don’t have any more comforters. I guess there were more people who had the same idea as we did.”

You eyed the double bed – considering what surely both of you had thought about over the course of your time at the hotel. “I mean—”

“Why don’t we—” Josh paused and cracked a smile when you both started talking at the same time. “Sorry. I was just gonna suggest – and I know we don’t know each other super well, but like, if you wanted to, because it would be a lot more comfortable than the floor, we could always just share the bed.”

You swallowed, playing cool even though your stomach was squirming a little with nerves. Only because you weren’t used to sharing a bed with anyone, much less a famous almost-stranger.

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I was about to say. We can do that – we’re not in middle school anymore,” you joked.

Josh left with his pajamas and toiletries, and you glanced at the bed, suddenly anxious.

Which side did he sleep on?

Would he care that you moved around in your sleep a lot – twisting and turning and such?

Would it be awkward trying to fall asleep?

You shook the thoughts out of your head, shuffling around aimlessly until Josh reappeared, glancing from you to the bed.

“…are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, eyes wide, “are you?”

“Definitely.”

The two of you stood there for a second longer, and you finally asked Josh, “So which side do you want?”

He smiled. “I usually take left, but it doesn’t really matter to me.”

You let out a chuckle that was mixed with a sigh of relief. “Sweet. I’m a right-sider. I do move around a lot, though, just a fair warning, sorry. It takes me a bit to fall asleep, and so I’ll start out on one side and then turn to the other and then my back and then my belly and then end up on the side I was originally on.”

He crossed the bed, setting his bag down on the floor and plugging his phone in before untucking the blankets and sheets and sliding under. You took the same actions, settling in and trying to ignore the strange feeling of the weight of another person next to you.

It wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be, though – you’d been able to talk to him throughout the time you’d spent together, and he was a nice conversationalist, which is why the lamp stayed on for a couple hours after you got in bed talking about everything and nothing despite both of you having previously complained of your exhaustion.

“I don’t know where this second wind came from,” you chuckled, tapping the bedsheets with contained energy. “I really was so tired before, but now I can’t stop moving. Ants in my pants.” Josh laughed out loud, shifting next to you. You chuckled back, glancing at him with a smile. “What?”

“I’m not sure you really want to know,” he teased. “Just an old piece of gossip I heard somewhere along the road.”

You made the full turn towards him, curiosity prompting you to lean in closer. “Ooooo, tour gossip? Please, continue.”

The smirk on his face build anticipation, but the gleam in his eye told a different story. “Well, I’ve heard two different versions, one is a general version, the other…specific.”

“Tell me both,” you demanded, watching Josh’s expression brighten.

“You asked for it.”

“I did.”

He paused, eyes searching your face, and suddenly you had a small amount of difficulty breathing. Josh inhaled once before starting.

“Well, the specific one pertains to the feeling right before going on stage, when you know what’s going to happen but are still jittery, just a little nervous energy with nowhere to go. I won’t go into details, but—”

“No,” you complained, “I want details. I’m not a rockstar, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

You decided that if you wanted to be embarrassed for acting like you’d known the man for years instead of having met him in passing only a couple of times, you figured you’d do that later, but now, you were fully invested in what he was saying, and this was the most fun you’d had all day, particularly after the one you’d had.

Josh cocked his head, arching a brow and licking his lips. “You don’t want details, I promise. Some of the rockstars I’ve conversed and traded tips with are…salacious, and their particular pieces of advice and stories are less than savory,” he murmured, and the space between you became charged.

You met his eyes, controlling your breaths so that he wouldn’t pick up on the change. “I wanna know.”

He hummed, drawing the noise out before continuing. “Well, everyone has their vices, especially in the music world. Performing gives you a high, but instead of getting the jitters when you crave it, you get them when you have it in the palm of your hand. And, while there are healthy ways to deal with it, like meditating, talking to a friend – most of the time, those vices chase you, and being famous with money to spare, they’re available whenever you might need them.”

In that moment, you knew that you could have listened to him talk forever – voice low and slightly gravelly, methodical and soothing and hypnotizing. So you didn’t interrupt.

“Drugs, alcohol, a warm body, material objects, fame and fan worship – whatever it may be, most of the rockstars out there will tell you the same thing.”

“Mmm. What is it?”

His eyes lit up with mischief. “That little piece of advice I always hear – most of them, mostly men, will tell you that there’s nothing a woman’s mouth can’t fix, and that in our line of work, there’s always a willing one to be found somewhere.”

A high-pitched laugh bubbled out of your throat and you felt your neck warm with the beginnings of a blush. “How…charming,” you giggled, and he laughed right alongside you, a flush in his cheeks as well. The tension diffused marginally.

“Hey, you asked. And just as a disclaimer, I’m not one of those people – I don’t just use people like that.”

“Never?” you asked teasingly, and his blush heightened, words and excuses sputtering out before he redirected your attention.

“Stop prying,” he accused. “Don’t you want to know the other thing?”

You couldn’t help yourself. “I wanna know everything.”

Josh’s expression morphed into something that told you that you might regret asking.

Or not.

“Well, it’s a little more general. And a little dirtier.”

“You just told me that most rockstars get blowjobs before they go on stage, and definitely just exposed yourself, too, by the way—”

“I did not! I specifically said that I didn’t do that.”

You grinned. “Did too. Maybe not religiously like the other rockers, but you just couldn’t lie, could you,” you teased.

“I was young and had more people throwing themselves at me than I had ever had before,” he explained. “And as awful as it sounds,” he mumbled, eyes dropping, “it does work.”

Images flashed unbidden through your mind of what Josh would look like from below, from your knees – what faces he’d make and if you’d be able to see them from your position.

“I won’t tease anymore. Please, continue on,” you offered, settling in for what was shaping up to just be Josh putting you under a spell with nothing but his voice.

He collected himself, blush receding and laying his head back on the pillow. “I don’t know if I want to, anymore,” he pouted, but as soon as you started pleading with him to finish his second story, he rolled his eyes and relented. “Begging me to tell you the dirty tales I know? I’m not the only depraved one in this bed.”

You shrugged as best you could, lying on your side. “I never said you were,” you said simply, and Josh stared blatantly.

The tension was back.

“Well, then, if you insist.” You could have sworn you saw him shift his hips infinitesimally, but he started speaking again, and you focused in on his voice. “You were talking about ants in your pants – the second wind.”

“Yeah?”

“That’s sort of like the energy you get before a show. I said I’d heard two versions: there’s the blowjob, and then there’s the…extended edition. They always say that the nervous energy – ants in the pants, whatever you wanna call it – is just nature’s call to fuck.”

You blushed again, this time because you were now aware that when you said that, as innocently as you had meant it, to Josh, you’d basically admitted that you felt the need to fuck. Even though he hadn’t interpreted it literally, you understood why he’d started to laugh.

“They say that jitters is one thing, a milder sort of feeling, but that kind of energy is another. Therefore, jitters call for a blowjob, pent-up energy calls for a fuck. The all-encompassing feeling and exertion that comes with it, where you aren’t just the receiver, but a giver, as well. A full-body release,” he breathed, and you fell deeper into his words, the trance you were 100% certain had never happened before, even when you’d seen him in concert.

Your words were soft and genuine and dare you say suggestive. “You make sex sound euphoric, but in my experience, it’s incredible, but nowhere near as—"

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, fingers inching up from the blankets and gently dragging down your mouth, the pad of his middle finger catching your bottom lip, and you stopped talking at his boldness. He continued, “The transfer of your energy into another person in an explosion of cosmic relief – from the natural build-up of emotion and human desire and zeal for life itself. Everything fucks, it’s only natural.” His mouth twitched up in amusement at his reference. “And those rockstars, they never fail to deliberate on the matter, going further to make sure you know that that little piece of advice is applicable to any situation – anytime, anywhere, anyone.”

He noticed that you were no longer meeting his eyes, and that was because you didn’t want him to recognize any of the desire that you knew would be advertised in yours.

You let out a weak chuckle, very aware of his fingers, still poised on your chin. “Damn, rockstars really know how to tell it, don’t they?”

Josh hummed. “Not all of them. It takes a certain…incentive to draw those kinds of things out.”

His voice dropped a register and you couldn’t keep your eyes off his lips. “Incentive, hmm?”

“Everyone always wants something. Incentive for them, perhaps incentive for yourself.”

He shifted closer, feet tangling with yours, and you ran your arch up his calf. “And what is it that you want, Josh?”

Your faces neared each other, and you wanted to kiss him, so badly. You could tell he felt the same.

“Only what you want,” he admitted.

You thought back to his words, how he described sex and wondered if he was just buttering you up, making it sound other-worldly just so that you’d want him or if that’s really how he perceived it.

“I want you to show me sex as you know it. Right now, right here, with me.”

He caught your lips as soon as you finished your sentence, your bodies beginning to wrap around each other like a flower in reverse bloom – legs and lips and hips and chests and arms all coming together like one disfigured being.

Josh took the upmost care peeling your pajamas off your body, his eyes rarely leaving yours, and you wondered, if having to give an answer, if his voice or the intensity of his eyes were more mesmerizing.

“Just focus on me, Y/N, I’ll show you the best I can. Best I can,” he promised, his pajamas joining yours on the floor.

His fingertips grazed your skin, lighting the nerves up for a fleeting moment and then leaving to skate across another expanse of skin, electrifying your entire body in anticipatory energy. You were rather occupied with his lips to watch, so each touch was a surprise, and in no time, he had you asking for more, body starting to warm up and require a heavier caress for stimulation.

“More, Josh, please, more,” you breathed, returning each touch with one of your own, moving your body in tandem with his.

“I’m right there with you, sweetheart, don’t worry.”

You huffed out a soft laugh. “Not worried. Just wanting.”

Josh rectified the fact with a flick of his thumb across your nipple, trailing his hands down your body, heavier and with intent. The energy you’d been holding in your body was exacerbated by Josh’s hands and mouth, tension building and building from his hands touching you everywhere but where you needed him, mouth following closely behind.

“Josh,” you whined, squirming in protest from his ministrations that were not relieving you.

“We’ll get there. If you want to feel what I feel, you need to feel the energy. Let it run through you, don’t try to fight it.”

You tried to even out your breathing, re-tuning your attention to your entire body rather than the dull pulse of arousal at your center. There was still a pull of energy and arousal trying to draw you back, though, but you held onto Josh’s request, letting the tension roll through you.

“Good. Now, just – feel.” He worked you over then, mouth on your neck, breasts, collarbones, pulse – anywhere he could reach. His fingers teased through your wetness before sinking into you, pausing when you clenched around him. “Relax, Y/N, don’t fight it – work with it.”

It wasn’t necessarily a new sensation, but you were experiencing it in a new way, and the difference was, well, strange and erotic and pleasurable all at the same time. He added another finger, curling them into your G-spot, and forcing you to relax every time your body wound itself too tightly.

After a few more minutes of letting the pleasure and endorphins rush throughout your body, Josh withdrew his fingers. “Can I fuck you, Y/N?” he asked softly, kisses peppered all over your torso.

You nodded, giving your consent and brushing your fingers down all the sensitive spots you knew, keeping the thrum of pleasure vibrating through your nerves as Josh rummaged through his bag for a condom.

When he slid back into the bed, he was naked and the condom was in place.

“Come here for a second,” he prompted, and you leaned up to him, kissing him deeply once more. Josh trailed his fingertips down to your hips, twisting lightly. “Roll over, sweetheart,” he cajoled, “on your hands and knees.” You went willingly, fighting the urge to rest your head on the pillows. You felt the bed shift, then Josh pressed flush against your ass. “Relax.”

The nudge of his cock against you, and then the pressure as he pressed forward came, and you welcomed it, welcomed him.

Deep breaths, letting all the lights from them different nerves – the pleasure, the pain, the dull stretch that wasn’t either – all flashing like strobe lights through your body. You weren’t focused on that one point of contact, you were aware of Josh’s lips on your shoulder blade, one of his palms running down your arm and one your hip, the scrape of him against your back.

And it felt exquisite.

Like the pleasure was coursing through your blood – spreading to the very tips of your fingers. Without the concentration on your center, you were able to feel it everywhere. Full-body, just as Josh had described.

Eventually, Josh leaned back up on his knees, changing the angle and rhythm of his movements, his cock catching your G-spot as he pulled back.

He was panting softly behind you, a rather quiet lover – you loved his voice so much, you wouldn’t have been opposed to his lips at your ear, words meant for your pleasure spoken in low tones, but you’d take what you could get. And since you were so attuned to his every touch, the flex of his fingers and stutter of his thrusts were just as fine a means of communication as words.

Josh’s hand wandered once again, sliding up your spine, slow and sensual. You really hadn’t ever thought of that particular part of your body as erotic, but Josh was in the process of convincing you otherwise.

Until he pulled out completely.

You felt the loss of him pointedly, the flow of pleasure disrupted.

“No, no – Josh, come on,” you whined, trying to find him again.

He reappeared next to your face, swallowing your cries down with his lips on yours. “Just changing positions,” he promised, laying back on the pillows. You took the initiative and straddled him, tightly wound again in pursuing your objective to get Josh back inside you. Josh’s absence had made you very aware that you had been well on your way to climax – not desperately close, but close enough that you felt empty and under-stimulated without Josh touching you.

Without any pomp and circumstance, you lined him up and sat down, taking him all at once. The relaxed, collected approach Josh had been keeping you under was interrupted for a moment as Josh hissed sharply, hands flying to squeeze your hips as you began to ride him, fast and hard and forgetful of how Josh had instructed you to feel everything, everywhere. You had reverted back to chasing your high instead of feeling it in the moment and letting it come to you.

“Oh, Y/N, fuck – darling, baby, slow down. Remember what I – I –“ He moaned then when instead of listening to him, you just rode him harder, wanting more of those beautiful sounds.

But you were unsuccessful – Josh gripped your hips with enough strength to stop your rhythm, guiding you to a slower pace.

“Josh,” you complained, and he chuckled breathlessly.

“It’s gonna be worth it, I promise. You were doing so well, Y/N, let’s go back to that; remember, work with yourself, not against. We’ll get there eventually; let’s just feel what we’re feeling now.”

You took a deep breath and recentered yourself, listening to your body and Josh’s. Grinding down put pressure on your clit, enough to feel restart the path of pleasure, and from there, it was an experimentation of figure 8s, up and down, rocking, letting Josh thrust up into you in gratifying collaboration.

This time, Josh wasn’t as quiet – murmuring praises and curses, words of encouragement and guidance – and you soaked it all right up, integrating it into your arousal. A familiar anticipatory sensation started building within you.

“Josh, I – I’m almost there,” you huffed. The escalation of your pleasure had been gradual and all-encompassing and slow, but no less intense than what you’d get by the fast, relentless pursuit of it.

Josh grunted, snapping his hips up harshly, a stark contrast to the pace you’d been indulging in. “I – me too, Y/N. I’m there, I’m gonna come, but I promise I’m gonna make you come, too, baby, I promise,” he babbled, and you believed him.

“Okay,” you panted, pulling out every trick in the book to make it good for him. He gave one last, strangled moan and then twitched inside of you, hips sporadically pushing up.

“Keep – keep going,” he cried out, sweat beaded on his forehead. “Keep going, please.”

“Is that –“ you furrowed your brow, “is that something you want? We can finish me off once you pull out.”

Josh shook his head desperately. “No! No, I like it, it’s something I’m into – please, just – just keep going.” A flush of heat ran through you at the admission of one of his kinks, and you started moving again.

He shakily brought his hand to where you were connected, where you were still riding him, post-orgasm, before shifting upwards and pressing circles into your clit. The added stimulation ramped up the feeling of impending release, but it was different from all the other times you’d come, by your own means or someone else’s. It was building, almost physically from within you, and you gasped as the pleasure started rolling through more intensely, tipping you over the point of no return. You tried to keep relaxed, just as Josh had instructed, but the instinctive jerk of your hips was difficult to repress.

“That’s it, Y/N, just like that,” Josh murmured, voice breaking, and you came, pleasure plugging up your throat and only allowing breathy, choked moans out, hips shifting and rolling as you clenched around him, and a burst of wetness more than you’d ever felt before soaked your thighs as you peaked.

Josh let out a long, low groan. “Fuuuuuck,” he vocalized, throwing his head back, “there it is.”

You collapsed, boneless, on top of Josh, and he gently rolled you both over, pulling out with a tortured hiss and cry. He had to have been overstimulated at that point.

You both stayed quiet, basking in the rush of endorphins and catching your breath before either of you moved. Josh rolled the condom off carefully, wrapping it in a tissue, and then took a few more, swiping them as best he could across your thighs.

“I’ve never done that before,” you admitted quietly.

Josh tried to repress a proud smile, but failed. “Experienced cosmic relief?” he asked, exhaustion seeping back into his features.

You giggled, eyes heavy. “I think you just have a way with words, but it was…something else. Memorable, for certain. And before you ask, yes. Some of the best sex I’ve had.”

“Good,” Josh said, satisfaction settling into his expression. There was a moment you thought you might both go to sleep, but then you became very aware of something.

“You know, we might want to switch out this blanket,” you said. And Josh hummed in agreement, the both of you rolling out of bed, out of the wet spot underneath you.

Josh held up the extra blanket that was originally supposed to be a comforter. “This’ll work, right?”

You nodded, beginning to strip the sheets. “Yeah, definitely.” Josh joined in, peeling the material off the bed.

“See? They had ended up having exactly what we needed.”

~~~

Note: Lordy lordy only one tropemas fic left (thank goodness). This was inspired by the anonymous request:

“ I feel like.... personally....you could probably write a great squirting fic. That seems like something you posess. “

Idk, I hope I didn’t disappoint, you’ll have to be the judge of that, Nonnie ;) 

~~~

Taglist: @theweightofstardust @theatrekidjosh @fleetsonfire

[beefybuckrrito]

Keep Warm

Pairing: Ari Levinson x f!reader

Word count: 3.9k (lmaoooo sry)

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, unprotected sex, we love a keeping warm trope, size kink if you squint

Author's note: this is for the Happy Hoelidays 2021 challenge by the wonderful @drabblewithfrannybarnes, @stargazingfangirl18, and @navybrat817! This was my first "challenge" and I had a lot of fun putting this together! Big thank you to @mjolnir-steve for beta-ing, giving me some great ideas, and putting up with me when I was too busy being thirsty for Ari to actually write sometimes 😂 comments, feedback, and reblogs are always welcome! I hope you enjoy~

After a long flight and an only slightly shorter drive did you finally see the cabin at the end of the road. The official start to your break, a drink in front of the fireplace, was just a few minutes away. The lowering sun made the sky a pretty orange as it stretched out behind the mountains, a few dark clouds creeping in from the distance. It was going to snow later and you wanted to make sure everyone was settled before it started. You figured you would be the last of the crew to arrive, so you were a bit surprised when you pulled up next to the only other car in the driveway. Maybe some people carpooled? You had no clue what anyone drove anymore, it had been well over five years since you had seen anyone who agreed to this little holiday gathering cooked up by Nat and Clint. Holidays were never really your thing, but it was a good excuse to get away from work and take a real vacation to catch up with some friends. Just as you were pulling your suitcase out of the trunk of your rental, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, finally catching a signal.

Natty: Hey babes! So a slight change of plans... Clint and I ended up missing our flight and due to the storm headed that way we’re not going to be able to make it for another day or so. But don’t worry! We’re coming. You’ll just have to hang with Ari until then ;) x

Shit. What a great way to start your vacation, alone in a house with the guy you hardcore crushed on in college who barely knew you existed. You took a deep breath and quickly replied.

T: I think I can handle myself for 24 hours 😒 You kids have a safe flight! x

You shook your head at yourself for suddenly being so nervous and made your way up the steps. A lot can happen in five years. Maybe he’s married now, or at least in a relationship? Well, you were going to find out soon enough and you knocked on the door. 

“I was starting to think you all forgot about this week! Finally I’m not the only one he‒ oh hey, Teacup.” Ari's boisterous greeting softened once he realized it wasn’t his old roommates. You were absolutely not expecting to hear that nickname again. One pottery class in college and you were gifting people mugs and tea sets left and right because you couldn’t afford any other presents for birthdays that year. You don’t remember if he had ever referred to you by that before, or at all, really. Your heart pounded in your chest and you cleared your throat before returning his smile. 

“Hey, Ari. Long time, no see. You hear from Nat and Clint? They missed their flight and are gonna be a day or two late with that snow coming.” You fiddled with the bottom of your coat as you looked up at him. His hair was long and luscious as ever, maybe even a bit longer, but now he had a thick beard to match it. It was a very good look for him, to say the least.

“Of course they did. Steve said Buck decided to drive the whole way, so they’re coming in later, too.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Guess it’s just you and me for now. Go get unpacked and I’ll throw some more wood on the fire.” He stepped back into the cabin to allow you entrance and headed for the living room. 

The beautiful wooden structure looked like the holiday section of the craft store had thrown up all over it, surely courtesy of Nat’s sister who lived nearby. You made your way upstairs to the bedrooms and ventured into the room at the end of the hallway. After unpacking and changing out of your travel clothes, you came down the stairs to see Ari splayed out on the couch, ever the king of manspreading. You entered the living room and perched on a cushy chair next to the couch, taking in the full festive atmosphere. “Yelena really did a number on this place, didn’t she? The cheerful little elf.” You chuckled and smoothed out the blanket draped over the arm of your chair.

“Still not a fan of the holidays, then?” Ari sat up a bit and tilted his head while looking at you. “I remember you being our resident grinch once the decorations started going up.” Was his gaze really on you for as long as it felt like it was? You needed a drink.

“Nope. It’s why I came out here to see you guys, actually. To get away from my roommate turning the place into a winter wonderland while her parents came to visit. Guess I didn’t escape after all.” You stood from your seat and padded over to the well-stocked bar Clint had promised everyone. “Can I get you something?”

“Oh, so you didn’t come because you missed all of us? I’m hurt, Teacup!” Ari laughed and clutched his chest, feigning pain. “I’m just excited to be back home for the holidays, to see you guys. Getting all nostalgic over us doing the holidays our way.” He watched you cross the room. It had been a while since he had last seen you, but you looked good as ever. The sweater you wore hung loose, falling off a shoulder and stopped just above your ass which was delightfully on display thanks to your choice of leggings. The little fuzzy socks on your feet just made you look even cuter. “If your taste is still the same as it was back in the day, I'll have what you’re having. And served with one of those pretty smiles, please.” 

He flashed you a big, goofy grin as you rolled your eyes and handed him a glass, the smile you were trying to fight tugging at the corner of your mouth. Is he really flirting with you right now? “I’ll call this one ‘Oh the Who-manity’ to be seasonally appropriate.” This was easily the most attention he had ever given you at one time. You took a large swig of your drink, the alcohol burning the back of your throat and helping to clear your head. He was always a flirt, typically with other girls, but he was probably just being friendly since it had been so long.

“So you haven’t seen the others since we graduated, either?” You took a reasonably-sized sip this time and sat on the opposite end of the couch, turning to face him.

Ari shook his head and ran a hand through his hair before mirroring your position, “I haven’t. Been too busy with all of the diving stuff. This is my first break in a while. It'll be great to see everyone.” He raised his glass towards you. “It’s good to see you.” He smiled as you leaned forward to clink yours against it. 

“You, too.” You peered into your beverage for a moment, swirling the liquid around and doing your best to not get lost in those stupidly pretty blue eyes in front of you. “So you’ve been doing all of your diving in wonderful warm places and you decided your vacation is going to a place where it’s about to snow?” you teased and gestured to a window. The sun had almost disappeared from the sky but illuminated it just enough to show snowflakes dancing in the air.

“Believe it or not, I do miss seeing some snow. But I will have to get used to trying to keep warm again.” He winked and adjusted the collar of his flannel. Sure, he joked about being cold, but you were already warming him up just fine. There was never really an opportunity for the two of you to be alone all those years ago. You met because you were friends with his roommates, so you were always there to see them when you were over, but now he really had a chance to look at you. He’d always found you attractive, but seeing you so relaxed, glowing in the light of the fireplace, confirmed his suspicion that he would do just about anything to see you under or on top of him. He had a funny feeling you wouldn’t exactly say no to him, either.

Your belly felt warm at that wink. “I’m sure you’ll manage.” You inwardly cringed, hoping he didn’t think you were trying to deflect him or anything. He used to make you so nervous, you just didn’t know what to do with yourself. 

“I could, but it would be a lot more fun with some company.” The tension between you was palpable at this point, and your heart hammered in your chest. He was just ridiculously handsome - the thick hair and beard, those blue eyes sparkling with mischief, the broad shoulders and chest that made his flannel shirt pull taut. You were dying to get your hands on him, but you just couldn’t. It was too overwhelming right now. 

“I’ve been traveling all day, so I think I’m going to call it an early night.” You downed the remainder of your drink and stood up into a big stretch, raising your arms above your head. “Good night, Ari. Stay warm.” You threw him a wink over your shoulder as you headed to your room.

Your entire body was still on fire by the time you had finished getting ready, so you changed into just an oversized t-shirt for sleep. Pulling yourself under the thick blankets, you groaned at the thought of what you and Ari could be doing right now. Were you chickening out? Were you teasing him? Probably a bit of both, in reality. Heavy footsteps came up the stairs soon after you settled into bed and you heard a door click shut close by. You must have picked the room next to his. Exhausted from the combination of a long day of travel and the stress and horniness of being alone with your college crush who had become extra flirty, you quickly nodded off into dreaming about all the places that glorious beard could go, swearing you could hear soft moaning. 

The bright sunlight poured through the window, uncomfortably bright even through your closed eyelids. The more awake you became, you realized how cold your nose was. Your body was still toasty warm under the heavy blankets but the air around you was much colder than it had been last night. Did the heat go out? Was that music what you thought it was? The high you were riding from last night was quashed the second the cold air hit you when you slipped out from under the covers, the cheery music blasting from downstairs not helping your mood, either. You stepped into a pair of joggers and fuzzy slippers and pulled a hoodie over your thin t-shirt. You padded downstairs in desperate need of caffeine. 

“Good morning! The heat is out and there’s at least two feet of snow outside, isn’t it the most wonderful time of the year?” Ari sang along to the song playing on the turntable in the living room. He was wearing a different flannel shirt today, dark jeans, and his hair was a little tousled from sleep. 

You groaned and made your way over to the coffeemaker, pouring yourself a cup from the half-full pot. “It’s freezing and you’ve decided to further hurt me with this music. That’s mean, Levinson.” You fixed the coffee to your liking and cradled it in your hands to warm your digits. 

“Tis the season to be jolly, T. You’re not doing a very good job.” He adjusted one of the hanging decorations and grinned at you. 

“I would be a lot more jolly if I were warm.” You grumbled into your mug, watching the steam swirl around in the cold air. “Aren’t you cold?” 

“I managed to keep myself warm just fine, like you said to. Plenty of nice thoughts to help me out.” He winked and gestured over to the fireplace. “Yelena said someone will come by to take a look at the furnace, but they’ll have to wait until the roads are cleared which will probably take a while since we’re so far out. At least we have the fireplace.” 

“Are you really getting back at me for calling it an early night and not helping you keep warm?” You narrowed your eyes at him and scurried over to the living room, yanking a throw blanket off the couch and plopping yourself right down on the floor in front of the flames. “I am only leaving this spot for food and drink.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just suddenly feeling very festive!” Ari chuckled and flipped the record, beginning a new set of joyous songs, much to your dismay. “And it looks like you’re the one who could use some warming up now. Anything I can do to help?” He took another sip of his coffee and sat down beside you. How was he not freezing right now? Then you thought back to him being one of those guys who would wear shorts until the first snow of the year. 

You grumbled at his cheery and innocent act and downed the rest of your coffee. Opening the blanket cocoon you had wrapped around yourself, you gestured for him to join you in it. You regretted backing out of things last night. You needed to get over yourself. Ari quickly pulled the blanket off of you, causing you to yelp at the cold air rushing over you. He swung the blanket around his shoulders like a cape and sat behind you, wrapping his arms and the blanket around you and pulling you against him. 

“Now, isn’t this better?” He murmured into your shoulder and stretched his legs on either side of you, effectively surrounding you with his warmth. It felt nice to have you in his arms like this, never having held you before. He was worried he had come on too strong last night and didn’t want to scare you off, but you kept flirting back, so he tried going a goofy and playful route today. 

Your heart skipped a beat as you felt yourself getting wrapped up in his embrace. “Much better. If you wanted to cuddle so badly, you could have just asked instead of torturing me with these festivities.” You shifted back and forth to get more comfortable and wiggle yourself closer to his warmth.

Ari stifled a groan as he felt your hips inch up his inner thighs, his cock starting to harden at your proximity, and he instinctively wrapped his arms tighter around your middle. “Well, I think you did a fine job teasing me last night and I had to get you back a bit.” He rocked back and forth with you, pushing his hips against your ass as much as he could from that angle.”You want to know what I thought about to keep myself warm last night?”

You couldn’t believe this was happening. It was one thing to be flirting a little and making jokes but to be wrapped up in Ari’s arms with him ready to tell you his dirty thoughts was an entirely different game and that ball of nerves and arousal rolled around your belly again. “I’d love to.”

“You see, I was torn between imagining you bent over the arm of that chair while I pounded as many orgasms out of you as you could take,” he nudged his nose against the side of your neck, letting his warm breath ghost over your skin, “or having you slowly ride me on the couch in front of the fire and edge yourself for as long as possible.” He hummed and ground his now fully erect hardness against you, his lips skimming the shell of your ear. “What do you think about that, Teacup?”

"I think you should get your ass onto the couch right now." You said breathlessly, your arousal beating out your nervousness. The chuckle that Ari let out made his beard tickle the skin on the side of your neck. You hummed at the chaste kiss he placed just behind your ear before standing up. Once he was situated on the couch, you climbed atop his meaty thighs and pressed yourself as close to him as possible. His cerulean irises were thin rings around his blown pupils and you never wanted him to stop looking at you like that. You thrust your hands into his thick hair, something you had been dying to do since you met him, and crushed your lips together.

"So you're more feisty now? I like it, T.'' Ari mumbled against your mouth as he slid his hands up your shirt and hoodie to softly squeeze your sides. He licked at your lips searching for entrance that you quickly granted. Your skin felt so soft under his rough hands, and the way you rolled your body against his was addictive.

Your body felt alight under Ari's hands, just him smoothing them up and down your back and sides was driving you crazy. You grasped at the bottom of your hoodie and pulled it over your head, taking your t-shirt with it and leaving your chest bare to him. Before you could register how cool the air was against your breasts, his warm hands cupped them, rolling your already sensitive nipples between his fingers. "Oh, Ari…" You ground yourself down harder against the bulge in his sweatpants and continued to card your hands through his hair, gently scratching your nails against his scalp.

"Already love your sounds, T. Can't wait to hear 'em all." He broke the kiss to dip his head down and pull a nipple into his mouth. You purred in delight and your grip briefly tightened on his hair, causing him to moan. 

As he lavished your breast in attention with his mouth, you did your best to unbutton his flannel shirt, revealing his deliciously well-built torso. You ran your fingers through his chest hair and squeezed his massive pecs, relishing in the deep moan you pulled from him. "You've got some nice sounds yourself." You dipped your head down to run your tongue along the shell of his ear.

Without warning, he stood up, causing you to emit a surprised squeak as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He held you tight against him as he reached beneath you to hook a finger into the waistband of his pants and pull them down along with his underwear. You felt his cock spring up and hit your clothed ass and you moaned, gripping onto him tighter with your legs. "If you keep me wrapped up like this, I can't get those pants off…" Without another word, you released your legs and let him slowly slide you down his body. The second your feet touched the floor, you shimmied out of your joggers and panties. You both took a minute just to look at each other, your eyes trailing over every curve and angle. He always looked good to you, but having him naked, hard, and soon to be inside you was something else entirely. You weren't even sure all of him was going to fit, but you'd be damned if you weren't going to try. Ari collected your hand and led you forward and he sat back on the couch, pulling you back onto his lap.

You wasted no time in dragging your nearly dripping core back and forth over his cock, moaning at the sensation. As you slid back, Ari pressed his length against your belly, picturing how deep he'd be seated inside you. "Think you can take it all, T? I bet it'll be a real snug fit."

As much as you wanted to take the time to explore each other's bodies, you didn't want to wait any longer. You sat up a bit, hovering just above him as he teased his thick head through your soaked folds. You braced your hands on his big shoulders and slowly sunk yourself down on his length, mewling as he stretched you out. 

"Ari…" You stilled once you were fully seated in his lap, his thick cock making you feel fuller than you ever had before. Your hands slid from his shoulders to his chest, your fingertips digging into plush muscle. After a moment of adjusting, you gently rolled your hips forward, eliciting moans from both of you.

"See? I knew you could take it. So tight and perfect. Like you were made for me." Ari found your hips and kneaded the soft flesh of your ass with his large hands. "You feel so fuckin' good, T."

His words just made you needier and you finally raised your hips and slammed yourself down on him. "Love how you feel, Ari. So big." You bounced yourself on his cock, your fingers gripping his pecs tighter as you watched his head roll back with pleasure. As much as you wanted to bring his dream to life and edge yourself, you were already so close, each time he entered you his head rubbed against your g spot just right. Your walls squeezed him as you drove yourself closer to your peak. 

"Love how your pussy is just pulling me in, so wet and tight." Ari slipped a hand around to your front, palm pressing just above your pubic bone and thumb lazily rolling over your clit. "I can feel you're close. It's okay, darlin'. You can come. I've been dreaming about seeing this for so long I'm not gonna make you wait."

Just a few more strokes of his thumb over your clit threw you over the edge. You keened, your head falling back as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through you and you clenched around his cock repeatedly. "Oh fuck, Ari. God, you feel so good." You ground your hips down against him, wanting to make the pleasure of your release last longer. 

"Fuck, darlin', this pussy is so perfect." Ari grunted as he snapped his hips up into you, enjoying the fact he could lift you off the couch with his force. "Gonna need you to keep me warm every night we're here." 

"This cock feels so good, baby. I'll keep you warm." You moaned, reaching behind you to gently fondle his balls with your fingertips. "Need to watch you come apart and fill me up, Ari. Wanna be full of you all week." You pinched his nipple with your free hand and hummed in delight as he gripped your hips tighter as he drove into you. Just a few more thrusts and Ari was shouting your name, his bruising grip pulling you down on him so he could spill himself as deep in you as possible. You collapsed against him, your chests moving together with labored breath.

After a moment, he gently rolled you onto your back, both of you groaning as he slid himself out of you. You watched him stand and cross the room, your eyes dancing over the wide expanse of his back and down to his equally muscular ass and legs. He quickly returned with a warm washcloth to clean you up and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. "How's that for keeping you warm, T?"

Tag list: @barnesafterglow, @sweetdreamsbuck, @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky, @christywantspizza, @midnightf, @justile, @tincanfics

[corruption-skz]

MOVIE MARATHON || Kim Seungmin - Han Jisung Smut

Kim Seungmin x Han Jisung x Female reader

• Requested: Yes

• Warnings: Threesome,handjob,vaginal penetration,slight exhibitionism(Jisung watches as Seungmin fucks the reader),unprotected sex,creampie.

A/N: To the person who requested this, I changed the plot just a little bit,I hope you're okay with it:(

Also I apologize in advance if it's not that good,but threesomes are not my strong spot lol 😂

Christmas was around the corner!

Which actually meant,cosiness,fireplaces,hot cocoa,endless Christmas themed snacks and of course movie marathons!

Even though you loved spending quality time with your boyfriend just the two of you,you loved as well hanging out with his friends and having fun with them.

Tonight the boys suggested that you have a movie marathon all together and of course you couldn't deny since it was Harry Potter.

You brought the snacks and the cocoa which Felix had prepared for all of you while Jeongin brought a ton of blankets to make sure everyone was warm and cozy.You sat on the couch with Seungmin and Han while the rest of the boys decided to sit on the floor in front of you.

The marathon was going well so far but after a few hours you noticed that the boys were sleeping and only you and Seungmin had been awake,or at least you thought so.

Seungmin looked down at you and started caressing your face making you smile widely

"What baby?" You whispered

"You just look beautiful today princess" he said leaning down kissing your lips.

The kiss started out as very soft and innocent but things took a different turn as he started tracing his tongue on your bottom lip.You opened your mouth allowing him entrance gladly as you wrapped your arms around his neck.He bit your bottom lip gently which made you let out a tiny moan.

You suddenly felt a hand massaging your thigh and it couldn't be Seungmin's since he had his hands on your hair.

You quickly turned around noticing Jisung watching you and Seungmin closely as you were making out.

"U-uhmm Jisung?" You looked at him confused and creeped out,but you couldn't deny that his hand felt good on you and the fact that he was watching the whole time made you wet.

"Do you want Sungie to join us baby girl?" Seungmin whispered in your ear "Should we show him that dripping pussy of yours?"

You started contemplating was that right?

Fuck it.

You thought to yourself and turned around grabbing Jisung's face as you started kissing him.

You started sucking his bottom lip making his bulge grow as Seungmin pulled your bottom and panties off.

Your hand started palming Jisung through his Pyjamas trying his hardest not to moan and wake everyone up.

Seungmin started flicking your clit between his fingers making you bite Jisung harshly earning a groan from him.

"Shhh quiet baby you'll wake the boys up" you said sliding your hand inside his boxers as you started pumping him.

His eyes were shut tightly as Seungmin kept playing with your clit making you bite your bottom lip.

As he noticed that you were wet and well prepped he lowered his pants entering you as you were pumping Jisung.

Both of you and Seungmin were sitting in a spooning position and your face was turned to poor Jisung.

You spitted on your hand and kept stroking him making him open his mouth wide and throw his head back.

"Fuck,Hyung look,look how well I'm fucking her" Seungmin pulled over the blanket and showed the other boy the two parts of you colliding.

"Look how my cock disappears in her tight pussy" Seungmin pulled out and thrusted again slowly inside you making your hand tremble around Jisung's cock.

The poor boy shoved his face on a pillow next to him trying his hardest not to scream imagining how tight and warm you'd be around him as he was feeling your hand working magic on him.

"o-oh shit y/n" he let out a muffled whimper as he came around your hand.

Seungmin started picking up his pace as Jisung brought his hand to your clit rubbing it in fast circles.

"Mmm Sungie you're doing so good baby boy" you praised him as you grabbed his face kissing him,his breath still pretty heavy from his previous orgasm.

Jisung reached lower and started kissing and biting your neck.

The feeling of Jisung kissing your neck as his hand was rubbing your clit combined with Seungmin's cock sliding in and out of you was too much for you to comprehend at that moment.

Seungmin realised that you were close from the way you were getting tighter and tighter around him.

He brought his hand up to your mouth covering it as you bit it trying not to scream right then and there cumming around his cock.

After a few more thrusts he came inside you as well slowing down before pulling out completely.

The three of you sat there trying to calm down and you trying to find something to say in this silence.

"M-Maybe we can do it again sometime?" Jisung said hesitantly looking both at you and Seungmin.

"Mmm what do you say would you like that baby?" Seungmin asked you and without a second thought you replied

"Definitely" you exclaimed

"Hmm and if he behaves well maybe next time we let him feel your tight pussy around him" Seungmin said and Jisung nodded repeatedly excited thinking about how good he would feel inside you.

[wdwmarveldisney]

I feel like U might regret saying to keep send in request 😂 I have another one 😂 it’s again the same situation as the other ones and it’s maybe a few days after isaac broke up with her casue if his ‘feelings’ for Allison and she is at school acting like she is fine while ignoring isaac and Allison (understandingly) and stiles and Scott are kinda acting like her bodyguards (more so stiles as he’s well stiles 😂) making sure she is happy and no one (one one being isaac) goes near her it’s kinda of a cute friendship one with a hint of isaac trying to talk to her maybe Allison too

My Heroes

Isaac Lahey x werewolf!reader

Summary: You hadn't exactly been subtle about the need to avoid Isaac after the whole 'actually I have feelings for one of your closest friends' conversation.

Masterlist

A/N: Trust me, I won’t. So like I love Stiles and Scott I just see them acting like this.

GIF isn’t mine

Stiles brushed off the pointed glare from you as you slammed your locker door shut, resulting in Scott flinching. The Stilinski boy didn't care how much you hated him right now, he knew he was protecting you. Well, it wasn't like it was alpha packs or kanimas or crazy sacrificing English teachers who managed to get an alpha to fall in love with her but still. He was doing something. You hadn't exactly been subtle about the need to avoid Isaac after the whole 'actually I have feelings for one of your closest friends' conversation a couple days ago. Scott and Stiles had then stepped up as bodyguards, despite your protests, and followed you around the whole school, trying to help avoid any awkward conversations. They had literally made you late a good four times by dragging you away from the classroom because Isaac had simply walked past at the other end of the corridor.

That was why you had plotted their murders in at least twenty different ways. Its also why you were trying to burn Stiles alive with your glare. He had been worse than Scott. The McCall boy understood boundaries a little bit more than your other friend. Gritting your teeth, your eyes flashed the golden that seemed to be making an appearance a lot recently. Stiles' hand slapped over your eyes as, you assumed, both looked round to make sure no one saw. Maybe a little too aggressively, you shoved his hand away and continued to glare at him with your natural coloured eyes. "I'm going to rip you limb from limb if you keep this up," Stiles' nose scrunched up at the hissed words as Scott poorly hid his laugh with cough. A slight nod and forced smile from Stiles gave you the confirmation that your threat was working, "Okay or, and hear me out here, you don't do that and you understand that I'm your best friend and I'm protecting you, huh?" You gave a hollow chuckle, shaking your head in disbelief at his shrug to you that showed he believed you were genuinely going to think about that. Of course you already had but you were so close to being done with him. 

Finger poking into his chest, you smirked, "How about you stop looking after me and start looking after yourself? How many hours of sleep are you getting?" Stiles scoffed in fake disbelief and looked to Scott for help but the poor alpha was just looking worriedly between the two of you, not one to pick sides. Stiles huffed, arms crossing defensively as he stammered, "I- You- I didn't sign up for a therapy session, okay? I'm helping you avoid awkward conversations," You were about to make another comment about how he should be resting but Scott cut in before the two of you could get into any sort of argument, "Like this one," Both of you turned to where he was looking to see Isaac walking over. Allison stood by her locker with Lydia a little way away, watching everything happen as Stiles and Scott took protective step in front of you. Rolling your eyes, you shoved them out the way and walked straight past Isaac as he tried to talk to you, Scott and Stiles quickly following behind. "Y/N, hey! Can we just talk?" 

You didn't bother answering the boy as you continued down the hallway. "See, I can avoid them just fine," You heard Scott chuckle and swung your arm around his shoulder, sparing an annoyed Stiles a glance. Both of them watched shocked as you waved to Allison and Lydia with a large grin. When the grin disappeared, they shared a quick look, "Well, you seem like you need us," Scott reasoned making you roll your eyes and drop your arm from his shoulders whilst sticking your tongue out at him. "Hey, you love us," Stiles hit your shoulders as Scott just laughed at you. Trying your hardest to suppress the smile that is trying to fight its way to your lips, you hit his shoulder with your history book and looked anywhere but them. "See, can't live without us," You were quick to try and shrug off Stiles' arm as the three of you made your way into the classroom. You couldn’t help the small sarcastic comment that left you as you walked in, hand on your heart, “Oh yeah, my heroes,”

To say the class was slow is an understatement and the fact you resulted to banging your head against the table repeatedly for fun (until Scott put his hand out to block it from actually hitting the table) said enough really. And it did not help when you found Isaac standing right there outside of your class. Of course he knew what class you had, he had memorized your timetable and always waited outside your class when he could or when he needed to speak with you. You had done the same thing. A huff left your lips before you carried on down the hall with the three boys in your wake. "Y/N please, just hear me out! I know you wanted time but, I just really need to talk to you," Stiles scoffed and you screwed your eyes shut in regret at the fact that you had let the boy follow and also maybe to hide the tears that were ready to stream down your cheeks. "Beat it scarfy," 

"You know what Stilinski? I-”

“Ok just cut it out, alright?” They all look surprised by your outburst, Stiles flinching back when you pointed at him, “Rip every limb Stiles,” he gave a curt nod as you pointed to a scared Isaac, “Time means time Isaac. I’m not ready to talk to you so just give me space and for a little longer, please. I’ll come to you,” you then spun to Scott, who had a small grin on his lips, “You can keep doing what you’re doing Scotty. You’re fine,” he gave a small nod and you couldn’t help but smile back. You quickly hugged the boy before facing an offended Stiles and worried Isaac. The blonde glanced between the three of you and shoved his hands into his pockets, “I’ll go,” he awkwardly pointed over his shoulder and Stiles lips immediately twitched up into a sarcastic grin and he waved at the retreating boy, “You do that,”

Hitting Stiles round the back of the head and hearing his small yelp and Scott’s laugh made you feel a lot better. With a shake of your head and a small chuckle, your arms were placed round their shoulders, “Let’s just go to maths,”

[imagininggintama]

If this is not too much trouble, can I request something for my birthday (June 5th)?

How would Gintoki celebrate his s/o birthday? 👉👈💕

I know you mentioned being in Italy, so I tried to queue this for a reasonable hour in your time, since I know it's probably night when I usually post. I hope it worked. 👉👈

Also, Happy Birthday 🎂! 😄💙

Everyone!!! Go wish @miiuutrash a happy birthday 💙

Also have this here, but totally forgot when I wrote xP

Gintoki Sakata

Okay, assuming you're close to Kagura (and let's be real, ANYONE who dates Gin should be 💙); he knows your birthday almost like the back of his hand.

She reminds him at least once a month, because she expects him to buy you a present. If she reminds him at least once a month from your last bday, it'll give him a chance to actually save some money... Right?

One would think, but that's not always the case...

This year was totally different though! He managed to resist sweets and Pachinko enough to get you what he thought was a great present!

But... When he entered where the party was... He almost didn't want you to see it.

Seeing as Princess Soyo and Kagura are best friends, when she heard how excited for your birthday Kagura was... She decided to throw the party! Although, she did let Kagura choose who was coming besides her and her brother, of course. (Matsudaira too, but aside from them Kagura went through you lol.)

It was so... So over the top and all the decorations alone made him feel like his present wasn't nearly good enough.

Just as he was going to try to hide the present, you found him and smiled. You took the box and put it with the other presents before dragging him to get some food.

As much as he wanted to sulk, he just couldn't. Everything was so much better when you were with him.

The two of you enjoyed in games and food, Gin yelling at Shinpachi for badly singing the birthday song, you laughing quietly

Cake was served and you couldn't help but shove some icing on his face, but he just pouted and kissed you... Icing face and all. 😂

He tensed when it came time to opening presents, but sat next to you anyway. He had hoped you'd somehow miss his or open it first so you wouldn't be disappointed... But you had already decided to open it last.

The present in question was a matching pair of stuffed animals. It was your favorite animal. One was the same color as your hair, your eye color, and feet prints in your favorite color. The other was white/silver with dull red eyes half closed, and feet prints in a light blue.

They both had collars that matched the color of the feet prints. The one with your hair color had a bow on it's ear that matched the collar, while the other had one on the front of the collar. Each had a tag that held your respective names on it, obviously matching the hair color. (How many times am I going to write color?)

A locket was on the collar of the one that was supposed to be you; a picture of the two of you inside and inscriped on the other half saying "together forever". He felt cheesy putting it, but it WAS supposed to show how he felt about you.

He almost wanted to shrink, since he could feel eyes on him. It wasn't the biggest, fanciest, or even most expensive... He just thought it would be something nice for you to be able to hug and remember he loved you.

Loved you enough to get two custom made stuffies!

You LOVED it!!! You showed them off to everyone and carried around the 'Gintoki' in your arms for the rest of the part.

It was fun and big and exciting, but your favorite part was spending time with Gin. Someone also snapped a picture of his adorable blushing face when you told him you loved the gift. That was, naturally, your new background on your phone.

He can't help but smile every single time he sees you snuggling with either of them. It warms his heart and he's taken a few pictures of you snuggling them in your sleep. 💙

[donaidk]

Rhythm of Time - Part IV

Stepping away from requests for a second to finally finish off this part, which has been waiting half done in my drive 😂 Next thing on the agenda gonna be the Callum & Marcus fic and a special request that I’m really looking forward to 🥺 Tomorrow is an off day for me, but I promise you’re getting at least one more fic this week 😊 Thank you in advance for reading and I’m always looking forward to your guys’ feedback 🥰🧡

Part III | You’re here | Part V | ...

Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

The little break between Spain and Monaco flew by quickly bringin on the net race weekend. I felt refreshed after spending a week at home with my grandparents and siblings to celebrate my birthday. Maybe five years ago it would have been a celebration at our family home with the whole extended family. But just two years ago I did everything in my power to get out of that bubble, leaving those parties and everything connected to my dad’s side of the family behind. It was unlucky that it was the bigger part, leaving me with only a pair of grandparents and the brother of my mum to confide in. Not even my mum as she was still trapped under her husband’s net that was sewn with his lies. If you asked her it was nothing more than Dad getting set up by those nasty big corporations that wanted to bring him down but luckily failed to do so, thanks to his magical skills and knowledge. I tried to change her mind listing facts about his decisions and showing her actual court papers, but she still didn’t believe me nor her own parents who were on my side. It was a whole lot of mess that I just left by the help of Erica and the internship offered by Haas. These were the only days when I felt regret towards my decision of leaving everything behind. Before and after went perfectly, it was just the days we celebrated yearly occasions without them. Still, I would slap my older self if I didn’t go through with the plan and decided otherwise, messing up my present life situation.

As my real birthday would be on the 23rd we made the decision to celebrate a week early, giving me enough time to get to Monaco with the team. It never really mattered to me anyways when the celebration was held, I was just looking forward to it wherever we put it in the calendar. I just tried to enjoy it to the fullest as I knew the most we would do about it in Monaco is having a few drinks with George, Aurélie, Dan and Robert after the race and then a good night's sleep. I have been looking forward to it every day since I became friends with this group, but it still wasn’t a huge party that everyone attended and it wasn’t centred around me fully. It was more like a yearly get together than a birthday celebration as we never shared gifts and did the same thing for each of our birthdays that we planned for season starts or ends. It was a great way to relax a bit and spend time together before or after all the chaos the season can bring to the table.

The thought of our Sunday night plans was the only thing that made me drag my body through Saturday. I slept 3 hours at max the previous night thanks to having to catch up with some work and then not being able to shut my mind off. It was already 3 or 4 a.m. when I finally fell asleep and had to be up by 6 because Günther needed me for a quick meeting about some interviews and only had time for me early in the morning. When i left his office it was still early, only a few of the guys were sitting at their desks when I sat down at one of the tables at the side with my laptop. I wanted to get the schedule up to date with all the new plans so Mick could see the full picture of it for at least the next week. During the season the drivers were usually at the mercy of their teams, meaning work came before almost everything. But I still liked to have the schedule updated so he could plan his travels and any other family or friend activities forward. It made it easier for the both of us even if it meant even more work to keep it organized.

It was maybe around half past 7 when Robert arrived at the office, taking a seat across me with his own tablet screen full of emails he had to go through. We shared a small smile before getting back to our own screens. I got through maybe half of what I had to do before I just pushed the laptop further up the table so I could lean onto the table and just close my eyes for a bit. I even kicked off my shoes, pulling my legs up on the chair, crossing them. It wasn’t my intention to fully fall asleep but it still happened. There was maybe a 5 second period where I came back to my senses but then was out cold again until my phone vibrated on the table next to my arm. It shook me out of my dream, making me straighten up immediately before realising what woke me up. Taking a look around me I was just about to look at the annoying source of the noise when I caught the sight of flowers and a box of bon-bons next to me and I froze in my seat. I didn’t have any idea how those got next to me and I looked up at Rob confused, hoping he was still sitting in the same position when it happened. He tore his gaze away from the tablet screen, lifting it up onto me and then cocking his head towards the big table. As I followed his movement my eyes landed on Mick who was sitting with his back to me, focusing on what Pete was telling him while going through the lines of data and info coming from the free practices and qualification.

I tried getting back to my to-do list, so I would be free until the pre-race scheme started and I had to run around the paddock like a headless chicken. It was usually calm a few hours previous, during and then after the race. But in between those it’s usually just chaos. Organized chaos, but still full of walks around the paddock, attending interviews and last sessions with trainers. I was still happy that I just had to make sure Mick was always where he had to be and didn’t have to take part in anything after that, and could just sit or stand around observing from the outside. The next time I looked up was when people around me mentioned going for lunch and turning my head towards them I saw Mick standing up from their table too. I was just about to look away when he turned around and our gazes met just a second later.

“ Oh, you’re finally up. ” He let out a laugh, making me roll my eyes at him. “ Happy birthday. ” He added making me smile again. For a second I wanted to question how he knew the date, but then I remembered an occasion where we were talking about it and I was pretty sure I mentioned my birthdate to him. It still surprised me a little that he remembered.

“ Thank you. It was quite a surprise. ” I looked at the flowers and the chocolate still on the table. I just pushed it a little back so it won’t fall down when either Rob or I moved around. That would be the usual from me, but I really tried not to kill them just minutes after I got them. When I saw how confused he looked at me I chuckled. “ Not many know it here. ” I shook my head a little with the smile still on my face, answering his silent question.

“ Well, it would be a crime to know about it and not act on it. ” He shrugged a little, smiling again before turning to the guys who were calling after him. I just mouthed a ‘Go’ to him as they were about to go for lunch and I already had my sandwich with me anyways. I watched as he left the room with some of the team and then turned back to my laptop, massaging my face.

I could hear Rob’s snickering and looked up at him with my head in my hands. His laughing and suggestive eyes just made me roll mine before I threw my pen at him. I dodged it when he tried to hit me back with it and didn’t let him win by standing up for it. I rather just stayed in my seat and typed in what I would have written down as I couldn’t find another pen anywhere in my bag. I would rather suffer in silence, than give in to him , even if it was just a little joke. My only hope, to get out of this situation, was Mick getting back quick from lunch so we could leave for the media pen. Turns out I just had to wish for it and it came true just a few minutes later.

“ Ready to go? ” Mick asked, stepping into the room, almost making me feel like we reserved roles and he was the one taking me to the media corner. “ We have time if you’re not done yet. Just thought we could get it over with sooner. ” He added, seeing as I still had my laptop open in front of us.

“ I should be the one asking that, I think. ” I chuckled, raising one of my brows and making him laugh too. “ But we can get going. I can finish this while the race is starting. ” Closing the laptop and sliding it back into my bag I followed him out of the room and through the hallway. There were already people rushing around making it a bit harder to get out of the Haas building.

Monaco was always a bit more packed as there wasn’t that much space than at a normal track. As it was a street circuit they had to fit everything into the city that was already there. Still, it was almost everyone’s favourite destination and a huge part of every F1 season. I couldn’t lie, it was always beautiful here and you sometimes felt like it was partly a vacation. Or at least I did, thanks to my role in the team, giving me quite some free time at least during the race itself. It could get hectic before and after, but at least I didn’t have to go through that and also drive or help the driver through the race. It was probably better that I didn’t even try to get behind the wheel. One turn at the speed they usually do and the car would be a wreck if I was in control of it.

“ Media pen first, then sit downs. ” I told him, letting him step to the first interviewer as I just stood next to him, out of the view. It was almost always the same questions, but at the same time different. I had my favourite reporters who were known for their creativity and also knew who Mick liked to work with, and tried to get some time with them whenever possible.

After the general interviews he had two more with a german and a british reporter a bit away from the crowded areas. As these were sit down ones I had some time to check over the schedule and his trainer who was the next in line to get him ready. Just when I looked up Dan and Aurélie were passing a few people a bit away from us and I raised my hand in a quick greeting when she spotted me too. I wanted to talk to her for a bit today, but knew neither of us had the time for it now. I could just hope we will run into each other again maybe after the race and hopefully before we go back to the hotel. We had ideas for the outing, but none of them were carved into stone and I just wanted to make sure we were planning the same for tonight. When I next looked up from my phone Mick was coming towards me and the audio guys so they could get the microphone off of his collar.

“ One more? ” He asked, taking the bottle of water from me as I answered with a nod, walking to the other set up area. “ Then the warm up and changing. ” He added, making me nod again but look up at him confused a bit.

“ Why do you even need me? ” I asked him, letting out a laugh while crossing off the previous interview, letting everyone know where we were with the plans. “ You know the schedule better than me sometimes. ” He shrugged immediately as a kind of answer. Mick was probably the first driver I knew and was as organized as myself. It still felt strange as most of them were known for relying on everyone else around them, and that was normal. That’s why we were there in the first place.

“ To tell me the schedule so I can learn it, and then make sure I never forget anything. ” He added his answer, making me laugh again before he was called over by the camera crew of the last interview. “ And to keep me sane and calm in every situation. ” He let me take the bottle and I followed with my eyes as he sat down again.

I knew it wouldn’t be long before we had to get back to the motorhome but while he was asked questions I had time to relax a little. Although it wasn’t truly relaxing as I had to check some social media pages and send out one or two messages to the team, letting them know how much time we need before we can get back. I just closed every app when he stepped next to me but not sitting down.

“ Fitting background. ” He said, looking down at the phone in my hand and for a second I forgot what it was. I had to look at it too, but at the sight a smile got on my face without being able to hold it back.

“ You know, it’s a work phone. ” I shrugged, locking the screen so I could slip it into my pocket. It was a photo of him, Pete and I after his first ever F1 race at the start of the season. I would have never told anyone but it may have become my favourite picture since then. “ Who would want a photo like this on their everyday one? ” I scoffed trying to look disgusted, although I knew I most likely failed at it.

“ Ah, yeah. That would be disgusting. ” He rolled his eyes, both of us laughing just a second later as his facial expression cracked me up completely. We were probably the worst pair at holding a straight face when the other or anyone else was joking around. I was just about to speak up again when a hand landed on my shoulder and squeezed it.

“ Welcome home, although you didn’t really leave for long. ” Dan’s voice was easy to recognize and looking up at him I just shook my head a little. “ How was sunny England? ” He asked, making me shake my head already although he has been standing there for just seconds.

“ Quiet. ” I answered looking up at him but then greeting Aurélie with a quick hug. “ It was fine, but I really don’t mind Monaco’s weather after that little holiday. I really don’t know how it can be so grim there. ” I let out a sigh, and stayed standing after letting go of the hug because I knew we would have to get going soon.

“ At least you appreciate it here now. ” Mick shrugged, taking part in the conversation and making me turn my head towards him for a second. “ Not like you don’t otherwise, just… I’m just gonna shut up. ” He shook his head, making me shake my head with a laugh. That was a hole he dug for himself, although I would have never taken what he said wrong.

“ You’re lucky we have to go. ” I patted him on the back, accepting a last fist bump from Dan although his smile seemed strange for a second. “ Drinks tonight then? ” I luckily remembered what I wanted to ask them all day long.

“ Yeah, we can meet in the lobby and go together. ” Aurélie nodded, before her eyes landed on Mick. “ You’re invited too if you would like to come. It’s gonna be us three and George only. ” She offered with a smile and for a second I couldn’t decide how I felt about him being there too.

“ Thank you. I’ll think about it. ” Mick smiled back at her while I sent a questioning look towards her. I never had the chance to ask though as we had to leave and get back to the garage. “ Would you mind me being there? In the end it’s your celebration. ” He asked me, when we were already at the entrance.

“ No. If you’ll have the energy I would be glad to have you there too. ” I shook my head a little but didn’t get to elaborate on the thought as his trainer instantly needed him so they could start their session.

While they were busy I had some time to finish up what I didn’t have time for prior to the interviews. Sitting next to Pete was a bit distracting as they were still discussing parts of the data shown on the screens, but it was almost my only choice. I would usually just take Mick’s driver’s room when he’s not there but that wasn’t a possibility and I had to work with what I had. The exact second I let out a relieved sigh after sending out the last email for the day, my phone decided to light up with a notification. On the verge of a breakdown I opened it up, but calmed down when it appeared to be just a message from Aurélie. ‘ His eyes are mighty fine. Don’t really know how you can look at him without it affecting you. ’ She wrote, making me roll my eyes after reading it.

“ New boy on the horizon? ” Pete asked and my reflexe was turning the device off and pushing it away in just seconds. “ Sorry, it just caught my eye. ” He apologised when I looked up at him but I wasn't really angry with him.

“ It’s okay, but no. There’s no one, just usual girl talk. ” I shrugged a little, but I felt like he didn’t believe me. His facial expressions were always quite telling, even if you only knew him on a stranger level. Spending two years working together made it even more visible. “ What’s up with guys ‘accidentally’ looking at girl’s phones, though? ” I asked, scowling a little as I remembered that this was already the second time today.

“ Well, we’re good observers. ” He shrugged, but his grin gave away how even he knew that was a lie and no one would believe him. There were a few guys who were actually good observers, but never the majority. “ Good luck, mate. ” The next second he was already looking behind me, and from the corner of my eye I could see a hand coming up next to my head for the offered fist bump.

“ Thanks. ” If the hand wasn’t enough from the voice it was obvious who was standing behind me and with a smile I let out fists collide gently too. “ This track needs all the luck I can get. ” He added with a chuckle, already stepping behind the car to get his helmet and gloves on.

Photographing him wasn’t my job, but I couldn’t miss the chance to take a picture of him from my position too, seeing inside his car as the stool made me taller than the car. The fans loved all the pictures they got from us, and even though the team already provided quite the amount, I knew most of my followers were looking forward to the content I was going to upload during the season. Until now there were only a few of him, and there was always someone else on them, and I didn’t plan on changing that any time soon. Still, one picture wouldn’t make me a hypocrite, will it?

[aliatori]

L, T, U for the writer asks?

Oh hey, Hope. <3 Thanks for these asks—they were thought provoking and fun to answer.

L: What advice would you give to other writers?

Oh man. This is one I could write an essay on. I will do my best to stick to the few points I wish I had internalized earlier in my creative journey.

1) Comparison is the thief of joy.

Fandom in particular can be brutal for this, but I have seen it happen in ugly, messy ways in original writing communities as well. The more you focus on what you think someone else’s writing has versus your own, the less time you’re spending on nourishing your own creative joys. Comparison also assumes juxtaposing any two works is an apples to apples situation, when in reality it’s usually apples to oranges (or chandeliers, or old dusty skeletons, or whatever).

2) Be willing to experiment with both prose and process.

So much of writing advice is filled with prescriptive black and white maxims when the reality as I’ve observed it is a lot more flexible. For every person who froths at the mouth about unnecessary adverbs or avoiding the phrase ‘X let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding’, there will be readers who are delighted by the inclusions. The same goes for process stuff. There’s no magic number of words/days/hours/places you need to write—only that you put some amount of words down on a page in a way that works for YOU.

3) Find your people.

Writing becomes far less difficult and lonely when you are surrounded by a community that supports you in meaningful, positive ways. Having inspiring, skilled creators in my orbit who have also become dear friends has made me strive to improve my craft, to push myself past my comfort zone, and to keep going when I otherwise would have given up.

T: What’s your favourite part of the writing process? Why?

In official terms, honestly, prewriting is my favourite part. This is usually where character creation happens for me and is a favourite without a doubt. Aside from sometimes a loose concept or idea, characters are the first elements of a story that come to me and the central focus of my writing process.

After a few years of reading 150+ books a year, I’ve come to find strong characters are one of the elements that make a story stand out to me years down the line (followed by unique worldbuilding or memorable style/prose), so I made the conscious decision to direct my focus towards robust, three dimensional characters to align my interest with a useful craft decision. My other big love, worldbuilding, usually happens in prewriting, though much like characters will tell me fun new things during the drafting process, worldbuilding gets expanded on too.

The bulk of my daydreaming, Pinterest board making, playlist curating, and worldbuilding is 1) absolutely is a tandem favourite part of my process and 2) I have started to think of as post-pre writing. 😂 In trying to adhere to the old adage of writing for yourself first and foremost, I find this sort of in between mental work keeps me engaged and internally motivated between drafting sessions.

And like… hear me out, but I love drafting (with one exception I’ll note in my other answer). The satisfaction of building a story brick by brick, scene by scene, is so satisfying to me. And I have gotten better over the years at not self editing too hard as I go, so feeling myself and my oats on a first draft brings me a lot of joy. The more id, the merrier. Also, as a recovering pantser, discovery writing certain parts during drafting—like characters surprising me or teasing out an interesting answer to a plot hole—lights my fire.

U: What’s your least favourite part of the writing process? Why?

*grabs an imaginary mic and pulls it too close to their mouth* Editing.

Full disclosure, I am biased because editing has given me so much trouble the past several months. I can admit it’s a weakness. BUT! It actually makes sense in a way. In my last fandom experience where my writing got kick started after long dormancy, I didn’t spend a lot of time doing more than perfunctory revisions since, hey, people get this for free and can take it or leave it. So like any unused muscle, I am feeling the growing pains as I attempt to keep expanding and making significant structural changes to a previously ‘finished’ story.

The addendum to my drafting note above: I also hhhhhhaaaaaatttteeeee middles of any novella+ length story. Act 2 is my forever nemesis. It’s where I’m most prone to lose my grip on pacing, likely to write weaker scenes, and feel impatient until I get to the brain buzzing material when the rising action kicks up.

And, though I don’t delete anything outright, I hate when I have to make the hard decision to give up on a story that isn’t working/ready. Feels bad, even though I recognize it’s still valid practice.

[fratboykate]

did the kids ever find Stan? 😂

Tuesday March 12, 2019

Despite the fact that winter was nearly over, New York’s weather remained brisk and unwelcoming. Notwithstanding how biting it was outside, the temperature was of no concern to the tight-knit group scattered around the apartment living room talking amongst themselves.

Clarke and Lexa’s youngest daughter was turning two years old today and regardless of the fact that there was an intricate barn themed party planned for all of Anya’s daycare buddies and assorted family friends on Saturday, Clarke had decided to invite the inner circle for a small gathering on her girl’s actual birthday.

Abby, Kane, Raven, Octavia, Lincoln, Echo, Bellamy, Monty, Harper, Maya, Jasper, Anya, and all their respective children were gathered at the house for a low-key afternoon of family time. The adults sat in different clusters around the main room and most of the children were in the play room watching a movie. The only exception were Costia and Nana. Both girls had fallen asleep about a half an hour earlier and were removed from all the activity and laid down to nap in Clarke and Lexa’s bedroom.

Twenty six year old Clarke sits with Echo, Raven, and Octavia on the group of ottomans to the far right of the open space. Her hand mindlessly moves in delicate circles over her four and a half month pregnant belly while she casually chats with her best friends.

When Anya approached the foursome earlier in an attempt to join the clique Clarke had asked her to do something. Clarke gave her sister-in-law the seemingly innocuous and easy task of checking on the sleeping girls. In hindsight, Clarke probably should’ve known nothing was ever painless with either one of the Woods sisters.

Lexa sits on the big couch, conversing with Kane, Lincoln, and Abby about the new case on her board.

“It’s going to be an uphill battle to get a conviction on this but I think we’ll be able to at least put up…AHHHH!!!”

Lexa is deep into the exchange when, by happenstance, she gazes up and what is currently unfolding in the entryway brings her to a screeching halt mid-sentence. The twenty nine year old’s face drains of color and almost immediately reaches the opposite end of the spectrum when it burns a fiery tone of red that could give any chili pepper a run for its money.

Standing at the threshold to the living room is Anya with two year old Nana settled on her hip and Costia standing to her right. This would be a perfectly normal and harmless situation were it not for the fact that Lexa’s youngest child is energetically waving around an eight inch, nude colored, latex penis. The whole thing is made much worse by the fact that the toy comes across as more imposing than it normally would given how small the hand presently holding it is.

Lexa’s outlandish reaction has caused everyone who was facing the same direction to look up and all those who had their back to the entrance to turn towards it. Each guest was deeply curious to see what could have possibly made her scream in such a fashion which is absolutely the last thing Lexa wanted.

Anya deadpans at the enthralled audience now staring directly at her and simply holds the two year old completely silent. The birthday girl snickers while she rocks her arm with as much force as she can muster causing the phallus to wildly flap left and right in the air.

Three and a half year old Costia curiously eyes the object in her sister’s hand and points at it.

“Mama look! Worm.”

“NO!”

Lexa leaps over the trio of legs that stand between her and the edge of the couch. She closes the gap of a few dozen feet between her and her sister faster than any Olympic runner could have and shoves Anya out of the living room and back towards the bedrooms. Once they reach the entrance to the master bedroom Lexa turns to Anya, mortification written all over her face.

“WHATAREYOUDOING?!!!”

Lexa hastens through her words in such a flustered manner that they all meld into one.

“What?”

The older woman replies completely blasé, no emotion evident in her face.

“WHATDOYOUMEANWHAT?! THAT?!” Lexa points at her daughter. “WHYWOULDYOUDOTHAT?!”

Anya shrugs.

“They found it.”

“SO?!”

“Where did you leave it?”

“IDONTKNOW!”

“Nightstand drawer was open. Not my fault you leave your shit where your three year old can reach it.”

“WHYDIDNTYOUTAKEIT?!”

“You want to see what happens when I take it away?”

Anya pries the sex toy from Nana’s hand and the little girl immediately screams bloody murder. Anya promptly returns it and her niece calms down, swiftly going back to twirling it around with a giggle.

“OH MY GOD!”

“Jesus fuck, Lex. You act like people haven’t figured out how you guys have sex.”

“YOU WALKED…INTO THE LIVING ROOM…WHERE EVERYONE WE KNOW IS SITTING…WITH MY CHILD HOLDING A…” Lexa lowers her voice and grits through her teeth, her voice barely audible. “…a dildo.”

“A what?”

Anya squints her eyes and moves closer to Lexa as if to listen better. Lexa repeats, volume only slightly higher than previously.

“A dildo.”

“A what now?”

“Shut up!” Lexa retorts aggravated. “You know what?”

“Nope. Couldn’t hear you.”

Anya teases and Nana chuckles while she waves the plastic toy particularly forcefully causing it to touch her arm and emit a slapping sound.

“GIVE ME THAT!”

Lexa yanks the object from her daughter’s hand and almost instantly the girl begins to wail. The baby leans over as far as her aunt’s firm grasp allows her to, opening and closing her hand begging for Lexa to return it.

“Mama give!”

“See what you did?”

Anya chastises her sister, more to egg her on than anything.

“ME?! ME?!”

At that moment Clarke turns the corner, choking back laughter.

“I guess the family finally got to meet Stan.”

Lexa whips her head and looks at Clarke incredulous.

“Do NOT make a joke out of this!”

“Oh, relax. Everyone in that room has seen a penis before.”

“You left it in the bedside table? REALLY Clarke?! You know Costia gets into everything!”

Clarke shrugs.

“I forgot to move it this morning. Honestly, one it was clean. Two, Raven might torture you about it for a little bit but otherwise it’s not a big deal. They couldn’t care less.”

“Your mother saw our two year old waving a plastic dick around.”

“My mom has seen one of those before. Probably more than once. She’s not going to be scarred for life. I’m positive.”

Anya laughs at the comment and a distraught  Lexa looks back and forth between her sister and her wife.

“I hate both of you.”

Nana shrieks and Clarke extends her arms out to her. The two year old jumps into the welcoming embrace and Clarke runs her hands up and down the infant’s back in her best attempt to soothe her then kisses the side of her head.

“Are you going to give it back or should I get her the vibrator?”

Lexa huffs and groans, clearly frustrated.

“Can you PLEASE not make a mockery of this?!”

“Not the vibrator. Okay. The butt plug then.”

“Ewww! I really don’t need to know what kind of gross shit you two are into.”

Anya shakes her head disgusted.

“WEDONOTHAVEONEOFTHOSE!” Lexa clears up for her sister then looks at her wife flabbergasted. “WEDONTHAVEONE!”

Clarke attempts to keep a straight face and restrain her laughter but it seems impossible and she ultimately gives in.

“Babe, if you didn’t make it so easy I wouldn’t mess with you.”

“I really and truly do hate both of you.”

“Can we go back now?”

“In there?!” Lexa points in the direction of the living room. “No thanks. I’d rather kill myself.”

“Seriously Lex, no one cares.”

“I care!”

“Anyway…”

Anya mutters before walking away and turning the corner, away from the three of them.

“This is the worst thing that has ever happened.”

“I could come up with at least ten worse things that have happened in the world.” Lexa mutters something unintelligible but Clarke glosses right over it knowing with certainty that it was best left alone. “Go put that away and let’s go.”

“I’m burning this.”

Lexa brings it up and when it jiggles in her hand and Nana reaches out for it she gripes and lowers it back to her side.

“You’re not hurting Stan.”

“STOPCALLINGITTHAT.”

“Go put him away.”

“It! It’s an ‘it’ not a ‘he’ Clarke!”

“Sure, yeah. Go put him back.”

“I’m throwing it away.”

Lexa stomps into the bedroom and towards what Clarke recognizes is their ensuite. She can make out the sound of Lexa pressing the pedal of the trashcan followed by a hollow thud. Seconds later Lexa reappears at the door, no sex toy in sight.

“Done. No more.”

“Alexa, can you please add dildo to the shopping list?”

Clarke intentionally makes sure her voice isn’t loud enough for the receiver in their bedroom to catch it as she mostly aims to get a reaction out of Lexa.

“I’ll throw the robot away too. Don’t make me.”

Clarke’s face brightens with an earnest smile.

“You’re such a grump.”

“I’m not.”

“Okay, grump. You ready to come out yet?”

Lexa whinges under her breath, too low and garbled for Clarke to catch.

“I’m going to assume that’s a yes.”

Clarke heads down the hallway aiming to rejoin the group. Lexa inhales and rolls her eyes but resentfully follows her wife’s lead. Clarke is already standing at the edge of the couch when Lexa steps into the room, skeptical and bashful.

The second Raven spots Lexa she whistles and hollers.

“Damn Woods, who knew you had a thing for monster schlongs! Figured you were more the small and dainty type.”

Without delay, Lexa turns on her heels disappearing back where se came from and most of the room erupts into laughter behind her.

“Rae, that’s you’re one freebie. Leave her be for a bit. I don’t want my wife to throw herself off the roof today, okay?”

Clarke lowers the two year old onto the floor and gently guides her towards the her grandmother prior to following the direction Lexa took only moments before.

—

When Clarke walks into the master bedroom she finds Lexa sitting on the floor, back resting against the footboard, with her head buried in her hands. Lexa doesn’t move but is aware Clarke is in the room when she hears the door open then click closed mere seconds later.

“I’m never looking at your mother or Kane in the face again. That’s just what’s going to happen. Zero eye contact moving forward.”

Clarke cackles and shakes her head while awkwardly lowering her pregnant self onto the floor. She scoots closer to Lexa and folds her arm into her wife’s.

“Baby, it was kind of funny.”

“Not even remotely funny.”

“Why do you act like we’re the only people who have sex and it’s this weird mystery for the rest of the world? I’m pretty sure they all knew we owned one of those.”

“I resent that you planted the idea that everyone we know has thought about how we have sex in my mind. Actually hate all of it.”

“My god. Echo, O, Rae and I talk about our sex lives all the time. At one point or another we’ve probably talked about it with every one of the girls in that room. I’ve also talked about it with my mom. We have sex. A lot of it. It’s not a secret to anyone.”

Lexa finally raises her head and locks eyes with Clarke. Clarke grins when she takes in Lexa’s scandalized expression.

“Great. Thanks. I’m genuinely going to go off myself now.”

“Can you please stop behaving like a ten year old?”

“How are you so calm about this? How are you always so calm about everything?”

“Because if both of us lost our minds all the time this family would fall apart.”

“They saw our sex toy. Isn’t that worth a reaction? Not even a little bit?”

“They met Stan. Big deal.”

Lexa buries her head between her knees once more.

“Stop. Calling. It. That!”

“Can you please come back outside? We should sing happy birthday soon.”

“No thanks.”

“You’re such a big baby. Come on.” Clarke struggles to stand but when she eventually manages to, she jerks Lexa’s arm coaxing her to follow. Lexa offers firm resistance. “Seriously, get up. If you’re not there when we sing for her you’re going to hate yourself tomorrow and I can only deal with your grumbling once a week.” Lexa exhales dramatically but gets on her feet. “I asked Rae to behave but I give you permission to punch her once if she gets out of hand. Deal?”

“I might take you up on that.”

“Feel free to.”

Clarke runs her hands through the top of Lexa’s head doing her best to pat down all the strays the commotion of the last few minutes has forced loose.

“You’re more work than two toddlers combined, you know that right?”

Clarke leans in and places a quick kiss on Lexa’s lips.

“Yeah yeah. Let’s get it over with.” They move towards the door when Lexa speaks again. “Am I allowed to punch my sister too?”

“Sure, why not. But if she hits you back you’re on your own.”

Clarke chuckles while Lexa begrudgingly allows her wife to remove her from the safety of their room and out in the open where Raven and her sister will gleefully mock her.

—

Hours later, when it’s time to sing for the birthday girl, Anya and Raven stand in the back row - far from Lexa’s eyeline - and sneak the sex toy into a handful of the family pictures. They proudly display the plastic penis for the camera with wide, shit eating smirks plastered on their faces. Lexa is none the wiser until the following day when she stumbles upon the pictures on Anya and Raven’s social media with the captions “We had a dicking good time!” and “happy dickday to you”.

Much to Lexa’s chagrin, from that day forward Nana’s second birthday party is forever referred as “The Dildo Incident”.

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

July

hello everyone, welcome back for another monthly update! hoping you guys are well wherever and whenever.

this month thankfully not much happened, just a few highlights here and there. let's start with the most important one: i was chosen as my childhood best friend's bridesmaid!!!

not like the commonly find bridesmaid rite these days, i actually was given a list of tasks since my friend didn't have an event organizer. i got to be the 'mobile' bridesmaid meaning i had to follow along my friend and her husband, keeping a bag with me filled with water, tissue, all of our phones, basically essentials while the couple greeted the guests. there were three bridesmaids, the other two are my best friend's best friends in high school. i'm glad to announce i made friends with them too! 😂 during the wedding ceremony, the bridesmaids got to walk the bride to the place where the soon-to-be newly weds gave their vows. it was super tiring, i was already at the venue since 5.30 AM and also one of the last few people leaving at 3 PM, but spending time with my longtime best friend (and her husband lol) made it worthwhile.

the best part of July might be when i finally get to go to Tasikmalaya, my hometown! i think i can safely say this city is my comfort place. though the water is icy cold, the air is so fresh and i always feel calm looking at the surrounding green. i got to visit my grandparents' graves, i've missed them so much. it was a healing trip, even though it was just for a short 2 days 2 nights journey.

then mid July got me into a lil headache. the story goes like: i bought a DW plush doll, the original vintage one, a preloved one that i found it from eBay for my mum's bday. a friend of mine went to the United States for holidays so i consigned her to get it, and she said i can use her friend's Manhattan NY apartment address to ship the doll to. this one went well actually, bought it for $18 and shipping fee $8, so in total $26 or Rp 391.000,- roughly. then it went downhill: my mistake was not checking back with my friend whether she would be returning to her friend's Manhattan apartment, while i already gave the green light for another friend of mine to ship a monkey NASA keychain to the same address. you guessed it, my friend already moved state to Boston MA! and when i asked if she would go back she said yes to NY but it'll be to Brooklyn NY (which is $100 in Uber fare if she were to go back to Manhattan NY) so i was super frustrated! this might mean i 'lost' my other friend's package because my friend couldn't get ahold of it. in a flurry i ordered another of the very same keychain to the Brooklyn NY apartment my friend will go back to, but this time she said i only have time until July 25th before she move to another state. desperate, i chose USPS' Priority Mail service though it costed me $9 just for shipping while the keychain is just $7 lol. the drama was the tracking didn't update for a whole day!!! i cried literally cried big fat tears because i thought my package went missing or will arrive late, but alhamdulillah thank God it arrived early on July 22. now it's all good, just currently waiting for my friend to go back home to Indonesia on August 5 to get my packages hehe

a nice closure to July would be seeing lots of my seniors getting accepted at favorite universities for their postgraduate and second professional degree school! i aspire to reach the same step one day, let's hope it all goes well!

other than those mentioned above, really, nothing much happened and i love it hahaha i will never stop emphasizing how i love my mundane and quiet life.

idk if this is end note worthy but i don't have a crush towards anyone anymore LMAO at least for now! this topic has been plaguing my mind for a while, i even considered have i not yet truly moved on from my past, but really after long hours of talking to myself i figured out it's just me finding it grueling to have a new love interest... and honestly? i'm very comfortable like this anyway, i'm so much more focused on my personal stuffs including continuing higher education and extending my career 😆

that's all for this month. see ya in August!