#i made a playlist and all hahah

[rcarx]

Tagged by @gleerant to spell my acc name with songs:

runaway by sasha sloan

christmas morning by luz

another love by tom odell (or affection by fiji blue i couldn't decide)

rainbow by dodie

x's and oh's by elle king yes i cheated

Tagging:

@offthebandwagon @myhumbleme @ahappilyexhaustedperson @wearysighs @orphanblaque @princington @julianavalds

if you want! or anyone who wants to do it!

[sushisocks]

hi i just finished rdr2, really love your stuff (FINALLY a blog that properly info dumps!! keep them coming please!!). i don't know if this is your thing, but the song I Gave You All by Mumford & Sons makes me think of arthur so much because each lyric corresponds so perfectly to his ending. obviously it's in the song title (arthur's "i gave you all i had"), but the lines "how can you say that your truth is better than ours?" and "you rip out all i had just to say that you've have won" makes me wonder what arthur's last thoughts really were?? the song has a very bitter tone, which is opposite of the game, but i can't actually tell what arthur's last words are supposed to mean, especially with him repeating "i tried...i did." were the "i dids" meant to be a plead for mercy (to remind dutch of his lifelong loyalty in hopes that he's spared from a violent death) or was it meant to be sympathetic (to indicate that they were both doomed men who were only trying their best)? or was it an apology, like "i did all i could, but it wasn't enough"? knowing his level of self esteem/guilt i think arthur would feel a very heavy obligation and responsibility, so it makes sense for him to say "i did all i could, but it still wasn't enough because i was not good enough," but he seemed to be very accepting of his death. sorry if this was rambly/late to the party, i would love to hear your thoughts about it!!!

Oh, Anon, this is the sort of thing I LOVE seeing in my askbox, I am kissing you on the lips rn for giving me the permission to talk about this so lets TALK about it!! (Sorry it took me a minute to get to it, I had to rotate ur questions in my mind for a bit so I could best formulate my thoughts, you know how it is)

First off, I Gave You All by Mumford & Sons is SUCH a good RDR2/Arthur song, I agree hugely on this, and it makes a LOT of sense for the ending notes, especially on a High Honor/Save John run. I've been listening to it on repeat since I saw ur ask, all while typing this up, and I got a lil emotional at times man. I love music recs and while I know some Mumford & Sons songs this was a recontextualization I very much needed in my life thank u <3

The rest of this is LONG so putting in a read more to save my mutuals lol

Okay, so, I now have a LOT of thoughts about what's going through Arthur's mind and what he might've meant at the end of his last mission, so lets get into it. To begin with I want to list out the lines that are said in this scene, so we're all on the same page. (Helpfully and lovingly pulled from the gamescripts wiki blog, which my life has revolved around for the past year and a half)

Dutch van der Linde: It is over now… Arthur. It’s over. Arthur Morgan: Oh, Dutch… he’s a rat. You know it and I know it. Micah Bell: He’s sick… he’s dying… he’s talking crazy. Pinkerton: There! Up there on the ridge! Arthur Morgan: (to Dutch) I gave you all I had… I did. Dutch van der Linde: I… Micah Bell: Come on. Dutch… let’s go, buddy. We made it. We won. Come on. Arthur Morgan: John made it. He’s the only one. Rest of us… no. But… I tried. In the end… I did. Micah Bell: (to Dutch) Come on… let's go. We can make it. Come on, Dutch… come on!

So WHAT is going on here? Surface level, this is the last appeal to Dutch. The last battle of wills between Micah and Arthur, where Arthur is STILL trying to make Dutch see sense. I think it's an important part of Arthur's character to understand that he believes, until the very bitter end, that there's a chance for him to reach through to Dutch. It's the main reason he heads back to camp, after saving Abigail. Milton has told him Micah is the rat, and Arthur believes that if he can just get back to camp and tell Dutch the truth, that will be it. He, erroneously, believes his word alone will be enough.

But the thing is, in my opinion, in a way Arthur is RIGHT! He DOES reach through to Dutch, but he has to die for it. That is what the "I gave you all I had" line is for.

It is Dutch, unsure who to believe. It is Micah, screaming for Dutch to listen to him. And it is Arthur, gently reminding Dutch: I devoted my entire life to you, all that I know has been with you, all that I am has come from you.

Arthur would have gone to the ends of the Earth for Dutch -- he would be grumbling and complaining the entire time, but he'd still do it if Dutch asked. He is, in this moment, telling Dutch, I gave you all I had and you took it, there is nothing left but my death, what reason do I have to lie?

It is the crack in the wall, a small moment of clarity for Dutch, which has him leave them both on that cliff, which has him turn up again 8 years later and kill Micah. Not enough to turn on Micah right away, but enough to truly have Dutch stop and reconsider. Because with those words Arthur is not only speaking on his own behalf, whether or not he knows it. He is reminding Dutch of everyone else who has died for him; Grimshaw, Molly, and Hosea, as the most notable ones, I think. Arthur slots neatly in with those three as people who truly devoted their everything to Dutch, gave him all they had, of life and time and energy, and were served nothing but death, destruction, and heartache in return.

It stuns Dutch; for once he is truly speechless, having to reckon with Arthur's words and what they mean, what they imply. Micah knows Arthur's words are more impactful, and keeps trying to sway him to his side, for ends we can only really guess at. But we already know there's no chance Dutch will go with Micah at this point. But he also wont stay with Arthur.

Then: "John made it. He’s the only one. Rest of us… no. But… I tried. In the end… I did."

One of Arthur's main objectives in Chapter 6 is saving as many people of the gang as possible. The Pinkertons are closing in and, while Arthur believes that it's just bad luck until Milton tells him otherwise, he still hopes for the best outcome possible, for the women and children, as he says.

Which is why he says John made it. Because to Arthur, John's making it, means the women and children making it. It means Abigail, Tilly, Sadie, and Jack, all waiting at Copperhead Landing, are not waiting in vain. It is the reassurance that they will be fine, and the idea that John might finally actually step up and be the father Arthur has so desperately wanted him to be for Jack. To Arthur, John making it is the best outcome.

But he still wanted to save as many people as possible. Dutch, Javier, and Bill included. They were still Arthur's friends and family. They still mattered to him. But I think Arthur realizes, dying upon that cliff, that there's no way out for them anymore. They'll get off this mountain and continue their way of living, and the government will keep hunting them. He is essentially saying the rest of them are just as doomed as Arthur is, even if Arthur is the one currently dying. And he tried.

I want to say that Arthur saying he tried, is both about saving the gang, and about being better. There are SO many interactions you can have in chapter 6 alone that's about being better than you were. Edith Downes, Sister Calderòn, Charles, Rains Fall, and Mary-Beth are just SOME that I can think of, at the top of my head. I think in this moment, Arthur is reaffirming to himself that at the very least he tried. He did everything he could, in the time that he had. He doesn't know if that's enough, or if it means more than what it is, but he tried, and that, to him, HAS to mean something.

It is him accepting that this is the end, and that he doesn't know!! He genuinely doesn't!! If he has done enough to actually change the course of events!! But God do I love the message of Arthur finding peace in having tried. In having done what he could, and seeing what changes he could, and knowing in that last breath, watching that rising sun, that he did make a difference.

Do I think Arthur is angry or bitter when he passes? Not in a High Honor/Save John run, no. I think he is disappointed and sad with Dutch. But I also think he has found a place within himself where he can accept that this is it, for him. And he is hopeful for those whom he has saved, who got out of there and live to see another day.

He gave his all, and he really really tried, and he finds peace in the end. How simultaneously heartbreaking and heartening isn't that?

[ohtobeleah]

I was having such a relaxing evening and now I’m stressed. 🥲

Thought I’d used this ^^ as our update post because it was too good not to hahah. As always, here’s the Terms of Endermeant Masterlist if you need to catch up. (Fun fact, this is the 20th chapter of ToE wtf…..

Warnings: Mentions of domestic abuse & violence. Gun related themes. Bradley Bradshaw x F!reader.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~*

“Hangman’s Direct Hits?” You chuckled softly at the name of the playlist Bradley showed you on his phone. The one he was listening to out loud, the one that filled the void. The one Jake had made in his spare time. “Is he actually that sure of himself?” He couldn't be helped, at this point Jake Seresin was a lost cause. 

“Man has two air to air kills, he’s gotta be.” Bradley mumbled back as he watched your eyelids fight to stay open. “None of us are gonna boost that ego of his any higher than it already is.” It was late, your hospital room was dark, and you’d been given some pretty stellar painkillers for your shoulder. “You know, you should get some rest bubs.” 

Bradley liked to use his time in the hospital working on his laptop. He had a grand plan. He’d managed to swindle the blueprints and schematics of his home from the realestate the Navy went through. He was, as he sat with his feet kicked up at the bottom of your bed with his hood pulled over his head, rendering a 3D digital composite of Odette's new room. The one he’d promised her. The one he was going to make perfect for a perfect little girl who held his entire heart captive. 

She wanted yellow polkadots. Or lellow as she specifically said as they looked at paint samples in home depot the other day. Bradley wasn’t all too keen on the lellow polkadots, but he’d meet the three year old half way and do her up a feature wall that could easily be repainted if need be. So long as he could do a composite imagine to see exactly what these lellow polkadots looked like amongst the digital curtains and bed frame. 

After all, he wasn't just a pretty face. 

“Come lay with me?” 

“I’m content here, I’m just working on some things while I have the time.” Bradley replied through a yawn of his own. He didn’t sleep much when he was in the hospital with you. He chose to stay by your bedside the nights he stayed. He got maybe one or two broken hours here and there but other than that he was running on pure steam. “Get some rest gorgeous.” 

“I think you need some rest too.” You mumbled back as your head lulled to the side. “There's room? If you wanna lay down for a little while?” It wasn't much of a statement, but a plea laced in temptation. Bradley raised a single eyebrow as he peered over the top of his laptop screen. “Plenty of room for you Roos.” The way you said his name made Bradleys core temperature rise. His cheeks flushed a crimson rose’ at the fleeting thought of you. But he shook his head and sent you a soft bashful smile that could have swooned the entirety of the moulin rouge.

“Such a little minx aren't you.” Bradley adjusted himself quickly in his sweats as he shook his head at the sight of your tight lipped smile. You still had bands in your mouth, keeping your jaw shut and in place. Your shoulder was still immobilised for another ten weeks before an incredible amount of physiotherapy would begin to get you back on track. 

“Just miss you is all.” Bradley never thought his heart could break anymore than it already had over the last few weeks, but hearing you say you missed him when he was sitting right in front of you made his heart explode inside his chest–it sent shrapnel into his organs and from the shock of your admission he forgot how to breathe. “So much.” 

Bradley didn't say anything in response, he let his actions speak louder than any words he could say. He pressed his lips together and sighed through his nose, he shut his laptop and carefully placed it on the table before he turned back to you, gesturing for you to shove over. 

Which you happily did. 

Bradley laid in the bed that wasn't big enough for the both of you as you curled into his side the best you could. He let you rest your head on his chest and intertwin your legs with his as he wrapped an arm around you. Drawing you as close as he possibly could. 

“For what it's worth, I can't wait until you’re outta this hospital.” For the second time in the space of three minutes you broke Bradley Bradshaw's heart just by proxy as you played with the string of his hood and closed your eyes to hopefully coax yourself into a dreamscape filled with better tomorrows. 

“For what it's worth, I can't wait until I can have my life back.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***

“Amilia! Slow down!” Reuben shouted as he ran after his sister in law down the pathway of their quiet suburban parkway. “Slow down!” 

“Run fucking faster!” Amilia shouted as she ran till her lungs felt like they were on fire and her legs felt heavy and the bottoms of her feet hurt from pounding against the bitumen. But she wouldn’t slow down, not until she got to Jake. “Hurry up! Payback he’s hurt! Dots in trouble!” 

Reuben had been out on the back porch with his wife enjoying a glass of red under the festoon lights he’d just installed. Everyone knew why work had been called off until further notice, it left a sour taste in the mouths of everyone that knew you. But that didn’t mean the Daggers couldn’t enjoy just a little bit of happiness where they could. 

At least Reuben got a good ten minutes of peaceful enjoyment out of his newest home improvement job before Amilia came barreling out in a fit of panic, screaming about how someone was in Jake's home down the street. 

Amilia was a personal trainer by trade, sure she could pour a beer and make up a fancy cocktail if need be but what she did best was putting her body to the test day in day out in more ways than one. So even though her feet hurt from running barefoot and her lung’s caught on fire from her unregulated breathing pattern—she willed herself to give just a little more. 

“Four percent more—just four percent more.” She kept running, so fast and so panicked that by the time she finally reached Jake's front lawn she swore she had no oxygen left in her lungs to shout his name into the darkness that had consumed his humble abode. Reuben was hot on her tail, still confused as to why they were both running down the block in the middle of the night in their pyjamas. “JAKE!” 

“Amilia, what the hell is going on?” Reuben asked as he watched his sister in law frantically pull at the front door handle. It was locked. “It’s locked—“ 

“Won’t be for long.” If Jake had a dollar for every time the window panel beside his front door had been busted this month he'd have two whole dollars. Which wasn’t exactly a whole lot of money but when you stopped to think about why a glass panel would be broken in that small of a timeframe, it was a little odd. “Watch out.” With all her might and a groan that came from somewhere deep inside her soul—Amilia Fisher smashed her elbow into the glass panelling beside Jake Seresins front door. It cut her up pretty good but she didn’t care. All that mattered was getting inside and as she reached her arm through and over to the handle like a pro—Reuben wondered for a minute if his sister and law had done this before. 

The answer was yes. Yes she had. In a past life. 

“Jake!” Amilia shouted through the dark home. “Reu he went to the garage to check the breaker box, where’s the door to the garage?” 

“Over to the left past the kitchen—I’ll check on Odette.” The pair wasted no time in going their respective ways through the darkness of Jake Seresins home. Payback was still afraid of the dark—he knew it was an irrational fear but that’s what irrational fears were. Fucking Irrational. But he fought off his own demons as they swarmed his mind. He raced up the stairs with a pounding heart and a heavy set of lungs, he turned down the hall to where he knew his friend's bedroom was. Hoping the little girl who’d stolen the hearts of an entire squadron of Naval Aviators was still sound asleep in the safety that was her uncle Jake's bed. 

“Amilia said Jake was hurt?” Chelsea tried to comprehend what she’d managed to figure out in the flurry that had been her panicked sister's rampage through the house. “She took off Bob, ran out the door like some mad woman screaming bloody murder.” 

“We’re on our way.” Bob hated the fact he was riding shotgun in his own car, but it wouldn’t come close to how much Rhett hated driving Bob's Suzuki Jimny. “Less than five minutes.” Bob and Rhett were only around the corner when Amilia found Jake. 

“Oh my god—“ She froze at the sight she saw in the corner of the garage as she flashed the flashlight on her phone and caught a glimpse of Jake on the ground in a puddle of blood. “Oh god, Jake!” She was by his side in seconds. “Oh no oh fuck oh Christ I’ll need to see a fucking chiropractor after this!” She huffed as she lifted the full limp weight of Jake from his stomach and flipped his unconscious self onto his back. His head lulled to the side. His eyes were closed and non responsive. He was out like a light. “Hey—hey!” Amilia tapped Jake's cheek softly at first but that impatience and worry grew into a harsher slap that left a sting in its wake. “Jake for the love of god please wake the fuck up.” 

This wasn’t what Amilia thought she would be doing during her time in the good old U S of A. 

“Mmm—“ Jake's eyelids fluttered as he let out a soft groan. “Mmm—“ 

“Hey it’s me, it’s Amil—“ Before Amilia could get her name out of her mouth Jake's eyes shot out of his head in shock as adrenaline rushed through his veins, with a loud gasp Jake did the unthinkable. His arm shot up and soon enough his hand had wrapped itself around Amilias throat. Tight.

“Ja—!” She clawed at his fist as he restricted her airways, but it didn’t take long for the fog to fade from his mind. “Stop! It’s—it’s me!” Jake immediately pulled his hand away as he snapped out of his trance like state and sat up to hold Amilia to his chest as she coughed and splattered in his embrace. His hand trailed into her hair as he held her close in shock horror at what he’d done. 

He could never take that back. Jake had two confirmed air to air kills—but choking Amilia Fisher was officially the worst thing he’d ever done. 

“I’m so sorry—“ Jake couldn’t believe what he’d just done. “I’m so fucking sorry.” Why he did that he’d never know, but he couldn’t ever take it back. “Are you okay? Are you hurt? Wh—“ As Jake pulled away to take Amilia in, he saw the blood dripping down her forearm from her elbow. “You’re bleeding?” 

“So are you!” Amilia snapped as she tried not to think about the fact she’d just been choked by a guy she really liked after she’d just run out of her brother-in laws house in the middle of the night. “Your head, you’ve got a nasty gash Jake you probably have a concussion.” Then it dawned on him, where was Odette in all of this? “We should get you to the hospital—“

“Where’s Odette?” Jake grumbled as he tried to sit up, his vision blurred and his head spun as he did so. Amilia was quick to help him up with a hand pressed into his back and the other wrapped in his hand. “Where is she? Where’s Dot?” 

“Reubens here, he’s gone to see if she’s alright—“ 

“What happened?” Jake was barely able to keep his head straight on his shoulders, it wasn’t good—there was far too much blood for Amilia to be comfortable with as she looked at the back of Jake's head as he slouched into her. “My head—“ He pouted, Jake's bottom lip poked out and quivered as he tried to regulate his breathing. “Hurts.” 

“It’ll buff out.” Amilia shrugged her shoulders as she tried to lighten the mood. She assessed the damage, he was definitely not in a good way. Jake just frowns at her, he was so in love but did she really just say that? What the fuck did that even mean? “Here, can you stand?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.” Jake wasn’t good, he wasn’t alright and he certainly couldn’t stand on his own. He clung to Amilia for dear life as she called his bluff and pulled him up off the ground of his garage. “Woah—“ Jake clung to Amilia tight as she wrapped his arm around her shoulders and placed a gentle hand to his chest. 

“Okay big guy, where’s your keys?” Amilia asked as she walked with Jake back into his house slowly but surely. Darkness still consumed the humble abode, but through the darkness came a shining light from a phone that was heading back down stairs. “She alright? Have you got her?” 

“Shhhh—“ Reuben replied as he made his way down stairs with a sleeping Odette in his arms. Her face was pressed against his collar as he carried her. “She’s still asleep, she’s fine, she’s alright.” 

“What the fuck happened?” Jake was still bleeding, his blood was all over Amilias hands. She had a pretty nasty gash herself from the glass she’d busted and now that Jake knew his niece was safe? He really felt the pain settling in. 

“You’re real pretty you know that right?” Amilia could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she looked to her brother in law who stood there with a shit eating grin smeared across his face. “So pretty Oz.” Jake cooed as he leaned on Amilia for support. The nickname made her heart skip a beat inside her chest as she felt her core temperature rise to new heights yet to be reached. “Hey, we were meant to go on that date tomorrow–” Payback raised an eyebrow at Jake's omission, Amilia hadnt mentioned that to anyone. 

“A date huh Oz?” Yep, that was gonna stick like super glue. 

“Let’s get you up to the hospital.” Amilia tried to steer the conversation back on track as she held Jake up. She sent Reuben a look to shut the fuck up as she did so. This was not the time nor the place to be talking about her love life. 

“Hangman!?” Bob came bounding through the front door like he was expecting a murder scene to be unfolding before him. “You okay? What happened?” Amilia was already sick of that question, she didn't even know herself what really happened. All she knew for sure was that someone intentionally meant to hurt her Flyboy. “Oh my god you’re bleeding.” 

“The girl alright?” Rhett asked a little more nonchalantly, Reuben nodded in response before Rhett vanished into the garage, looking for the power box. He flipped the power back on and suddenly it became blindingly apparent how much blood Jake Seresin had lost and just how much intent behind the force he’d been struck with was there. 

“Son of a bitch is lucky he’s still standing.” Rhett mumbled out as he made his way back into the house. “There’s an awful lot of blood on the ground.” 

“We’re heading to the hospital right now.” Amilia replied, she was still carrying most of Jake's weight as his head lulled towards her. 

“Your hair smells like Strawberries–” Jake mumbled as he found himself consumed by the scent of Amilias hair. Rhett frowned and tried to stifle a laugh. “And cream, strawberries and cream.” Everyone did their best to ignore the clearly delirious aviator who hung from Amilia like she was his life support. 

“Who’s gonna take Dot?” Payback asked. The gears turned and the cogs moved inside Rhett Abbotts mind as he stood there with arms crossed and dark eyes. His rugged, rather unhinged persona did a world of good when it came to protecting the people he loved. But it served as a mask of his own sometimes too. No one expected Rhett to advocate for you, hell they all thought the last place he wanted to be was here caught up in all this mess. 

But when the question of who would look after Dot lingered in the air, Rhett was the first to give a legitimate and wholehearted response. 

“She should come to the hospital, Fe’s been driving me crazy about seeing her.” Bob could read between the lines, he knew Rhett cared. He knew Rhett was just thinking of you and your best interest. He’d been the one who sat with you day in and day out for a week straight while Jake and Bradley rotated in and out. “I can take her.” 

“Someone should call Rooster, let him know what’s happened.” Payback added as he handed Dot over gently. Rhett took her on his hip and within a second she was sinking against him like she was in the safest arms in the world. He smiled genuinely as her squished cheek against his shoulder and Bob knew in that moment his brother would do just about anything to keep Odette safe. 

They all would. 

“I'll call–” Amilia was the first to put her hand up. “I’ll call him from Jake’s phone on our way over.” 

“I’ll take Dot straight up the Fe’s room.” Rhett followed the pair out of the house. Amilia just nodded as she guided Jake towards his truck. “He got a booster?” Rhett opened the back of the truck and confirmed what he’d just asked before Amilia even had a chance to ponder the question. “Alright, do you want me to drive or are you good?” 

Amilia couldn’t even reach the clutch, suddenly the old statesman Reuben let her drive around with the mismatched pins in the roofing wasn’t that big of a car. 

“Uh—no, maybe you should drive.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

There wasn’t a lot in this world Jaidyn Dolan cared about. He cared about his reputation as a fine Naval Aviator, he cared about his car, his collection of watches that cost a pretty penny. He cared about what products he used and if they were organic and ethically sourced. But the thing he cared about the most in this world was his pride, his ego—and most importantly he cared about making sure you knew that crossing boundaries and understanding that you couldn’t just walk away from him like he didn’t waist the best years of his life trying to turn you into the household slave he desired. 

“Hollow point—“ The man who sat in the car mumbled as he handed Jaidyn the box of bullets he’d asked for from a friend of a friend of a friend. “You planning on doing some damage brother?” Jaidyn didn't respond as he pocketed the box—he was on a warpath. He’d never been more ready to seek revenge for everything you’d done to him, everything you put him through. From having that fucking kid he told you to abort, to leaving him in that air bnb he had brought his buddies back to, for fucking around with Jake Seresin behind his back. For making him feel like less than a man should. 

He knew you’d fuck him, there was no way you hadn’t. A guy like Hangman didn’t hang around for less than getting his dick wet. Jaidyn knew the guy long enough and well enough to understand that Jake chased pussy like he was playing in peak hour traffic. 

“Nah—damage was done ages ago.” Jaidyn finally replied as he looked out across the street to where Bradley Bradshaw's empty house stood shrouded in darkness. “I’m just cleaning up loose ends.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Hey man s’going on? Dot alright?” Bradley’s ringtone was what drew him out of his light sleep he’d fallen victim to as you laid your head on his chest. How you were able to sleep he never knew, but with enough pain killers to put an elephant into a state of euphoria—he was able to understand. 

“It’s uh, it’s Amilia—“ She could help the panic in her voice but she knew it was unmistakably noticeable as she sat in the back seat of Jake’s truck with Dot in her booster seat. 

“What happened?” Rooster didn’t need to say anything more before Amilia was filling him in. She was giving him every detail about the events that transpired that she could recall with quick haste. “Slow down, Ams—slow down yeah? Where are you now? Who’s with Odette?” Bradley could barely keep up as his feet padded along the laminate flooring of your hospital room. 

“We’re on our way to the emergency department. Rhett said he’s gonna bring Odette up, it’s the safest place for her to be I guess.” Bradley couldn’t help but to smile as he turned back to where you laid still sleeping soundly in the hospital bed. 

Rhett cared—they all knew it even if the guy was too stubborn to admit it. 

“Okay, yeah—” Bradley knew it would be a good thing, you had been apart from your little girl for far too long now. Longer than anyone really thought you'd be. He watched the rise and fall of your chest as you slept soundly, knowing that when you woke up and saw your little girl was here–all would be right with the world again. “Yeah, bring her up.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

In the middle of the night while all was quiet and all those who cared enough to worry about the safety and security of Jake fucking Seresin we’re pre-occupied, Jaidyn Dolan took no safety precautions as he broke his way into the back kitchen window of Bradley’s home. 

He was a man who had nothing but everything to lose. Not an ounce of sanity or stability remained in his mind as Jaidyn stood in the kitchen, looking around to see the dirty dishes still in the sink. Sippy cups and rubber suction plates told him that little Odette had been here and would be back. If there was a sure fire way to break whatever hope, whatever strength, whatever chance of a life you had after Jaidyn that you so desperately wanted, he knew to go through that little pest you called a daughter and take Bradshaw out in the process. 

“What’s Rooster Boy got prepared for me this evening?” Jaidyn mumbled to himself as he placed the handgun he’d managed to get his hands on ontop of the kitchen bench. The same kitchen bench that Bradley sat Dot at for breakfast while he’d cook her pancakes.

Jaidyn opened the fridge like he was right at home and peered in to find exactly what he was looking for. “Ah, good to see you’re good for something Bradshaw—“ He snickered to himself as he reached in to grab the neck of the beer bottle sitting on the shelf of the door. “Don’t mind if I do.” 

He was in no hurry, Jaidyn knew from his research, his reconnaissance—that nobody would be home for hours. He had time. Time to dick around, time to go through Bradley Bradshaw's entire life. Time to sit and stew. Time to enjoy a beer and eat the leftover pasta bake that Bradley had half hazardly covered in his haste to get out the damn door. He had time to look through the boxes of unpacked things he carried over from Jake’s place, going through the things you’d started to rebuild your life from the ground up with. Work clothes, Dots toys, sentimental possessions you'd begun to replace. 

“Huh—“ Jaidyn took a sip of the beer he’d stolen from Bradley’s fridge as he stopped by the mantelpiece above the fireplace. Photo frames sat collecting a light covering of dust, from old family photos to new photographs that captured the love and warmth that was you and Bradley. Little Odette between the two of you in some, one of her sitting on her Toosters shoulders told Jaidyn all he needed to know. 

He was irrelevant. 

“Fucking pathetic—“ Jaidyn growled as he snatched the picture frames off the mantelpiece and smashed the frame on the corner. The old worn photo slipped out from the glass with ease. Jaidyn took the pack of smokes he carried from his back pocket and lit the cigarette he held between his lips. As he took a long draw of the nicotine and settled into his surroundings. Without a second of regret or remorse, Jaidyn took the lighter to the edge of the photo and watched it burn. 

Jaidyn watched as Nick and Carole Bradshaw burned up into nothing but ash with a wicked smile the devil himself would have been scared of. 

“Fucking pathetic—“ 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“Rhett!” Amilia groaned as she stumbled her way across the car park into the emergency department with Jake slung over her shoulder. “Would you give me a hand here? for crying out loud!” 

Rhett slowed his strides down to a halt as he waited for Amilia to catch up. He thought she’d been right, but assuming made an arse out of him. 

“Ere—you take Odette, give me Seresin.” Rhett gestured and Amilia was happy to oblige. “Thought you were right, my bad.” Amilia shook her head as if to say it wasn’t a huge deal. “You want me to take him in or do you wanna take Odette up to her ma?” Amilia settled the little girl on her hip as she mulled over the option she had as she walked with Rhett—who was now carrying the deadweight of Jake. “Fuck he’s a heavy bastard isn’t he.” 

“I heard that—“ Jake grumbled under his breath as he tried his best to step in toe with Rhett. 

Amilia didn’t want to leave Jake's side, she was beginning to develop real feelings for this guy. Fast and all consuming too. She’d never felt like this before, so sure of someone. So trusting. She didn’t want Jake to feel like he couldn’t trust her to stay by his side when he so clearly needed someone. 

“I’m pretty cut up, should probably get cleaned up too—might be best if you take Dot and I stay with Jake but I’ll head up after.” Rhett chuckled to himself, he knew that was going to be the answer. He knew a lost cause when he saw one because it was like he was looking in the fucking mirror. 

“Sure Oz.” Rhett nodded as he placed Jake down on one of the empty hospital chairs with a groan. “I won’t tell your boyfriend here that you didn’t wanna leave his side, wouldn’t wanna inflate his ego and make him all the more harder to lug around.” Amilias jaw nearly hit the ground in shock. 

“He isn’t my boyfriend rodeo clown.” She snapped. “He’s just a mate—“ 

“Right right, my bad then.” Rhett gestured for Amilia to hand him over Dot. “Guess your mate here’s pretty lucky to have a friend in you isn't he.” Amilia truly did believe Jake was lucky in a sense—if he hadn't kept her on the phone, who knows how long he would’ve been left to bleed all over his garage floor. She didn’t respond until she was sitting beside Jake in an empty chair, watching one of the emergency triage nurses come over as she popped on some latex gloves. 

“Luckiest bastard alive if you ask me.” Amilia cooed as she pushed some of Jake's bloody blonde locks behind his ear, admiring his profile as Rhett took in the sight. Damn—if that was just friendship he’d been doing it wrong his entire life. “Luckiest bastard alive.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Aw hell kid.” It didn’t take long for Rhett to make it to your room. Dot was, as she had been all night through all the chaos and all the drama, groggy and sleepy. She clung to Rhett’s jacket like he was her very lifeline, a protector she felt safe in the arms of. “You’re kinda cute aren’t ya.” 

“That she is.” Bradley chuckled as he met Rhett in the hall just outside your door. Dot heard her Toosters voice and was quick to rub her eyes to see if she was really seeing him standing with open arms ready to take her in or if she was still dreaming. 

He was there. He was always there. 

“Tooster—“ Dot mumbled through a pouted bottom lip. 

“Hi baby, I’ve got you.” He groaned as he took her from Rhett, the little tot had been passed around more tonight than she had been her entire life. “Gonna see mama, you ready?” Dot nodded silently with tired eyes. 

“That Fisher bird was pretty switched on tonight.” Rhett made sure to mentioned as he trailed behind Rooster. “He’s pretty banged up, if she wasn’t there when she was I can't imagine the state he’d be in.” 

“We know for sure it was Dolan?” Bradley asked as he placed Dot down onto the bed and watched with tears in his eyes as Dot immediately curled up and snuggled into your chest. You were still under some pretty intense pain medication. All you did in reaction was pull your little girl closer, as close as you could possibly bring her. Even asleep you were her most fearsome protector. “Like this wasn’t just a random break and enter?” 

“Would that be any better?” Rhett asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and stood at the base on your hospital bed. 

“I’d rather it be random than intentional Abbott.” Bradley sighed as he leaned in to kiss your forehead gently. “My girls huh, what would I ever do without the two of you.” He felt like his little family was finally on the mend. “How’s Amilia holding up? After—“

“Oh yeah, nah home among the gumtrees down there is fine, got a few cuts on her forearm but nothing an amputation and a couple for beers won’t fix.” Bradley couldn’t help but to chuckle as he sat back in his chair. Rhett laughed along at his own tease before the two men settled into the slice once more and listened to the steady beating of your monitors. “She should be able to go home soon, you know.” Rhett hinted. “You got everything sorted?” 

“Not even close.” Bradley groaned as he reached out for his laptop. “I’m stuck on the yellow polkadots.” Rhett wasn’t proud of all the punches he’d thrown in the name of someone he no longer knew, but watching as you and your daughter slept soundly like two peas in a perfect pod, he knew he’d die for you both before he ever let anyone ever hurt the two of you again. 

“You sure do make domestic bliss seem riveting.” Bradley smiled in response, it was all he ever really wanted and whoever was playing the game that was life up stairs was truly making him work for it. “If you guys are good here I might head home.”

“Tell Bob there’s a beer in the fridge for him if he gets a chance to swing by my place in the morning.” Rhett turned on his heels soon after he’d acknowledged Bradley’s comment. 

Bob didn’t drink, but it was always offered nevertheless. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“Okay Jake, this might sting a little but you’re gonna be fine.” Doctor Taylor explained as he injected numbing fluid into the back of Jake's skull. Amilia sat close by, having her own war wounds attached to. 

“How’d you get these bruises?” One of the triage nurses asked Amilia as they cleaned up her forearms and picked out the small fragments of glass still embedded in her arm.

“I’m not here about the bruises, I know enough about your healthcare system to know I don’t need anymore than the bare minimum care thanks.” 

“Your travel insurance should cover most of the expenses.” It was clear Amilia had struck a nerve with the nurse who’d been tending to her not so emergent aid as she packed up her things and left. 

“Lucky me.” Amilia rolled her eyes as she jumped off the exam bed she’d been perched on and made her way over to where Jake was sitting. “How’s he holding up doc? Got all his brain cells?” 

“Ha ha—“ Jake smiled a tight lip grin through the sharp sting of the needle being poked into his skull. His eyes trailed down to the bruises coming up nicely on Amilias neck. Jake's heart sank into his stomach. “I’m really—“ Amilia stopped Jake from talking as she placed a gentle hand to his knee and stood before him. 

“Got nothing to apologise for.”

“Can you do me a favour?” Jake asked as he drank in the sight of Amilia as he tried not to think about the stitches being sewn into his skull. “Can you go see how Dot is? Just need to know she’s okay.” Jake knew Odette was safe, he was concussed but he wasn’t stupid. 

“Sure Flyboy, I’m on it.” Amilia nodded silently with a small smile before she left the room. Jake waited a few seconds after she’d vanished from his sight before he cleared his throat. 

Hey Doc?” Jake slurred. He just didn’t want Amilia to see what happened next. “I don’t feel so good.” Doctor Taylor raised an eyebrow as Jake fell forward from where he’d been sitting. He crashed to the floor in a heap unconscious—

Turns out that fear of needles he had as a child was still prominent. But that pride of his was far too important to have him fainting in front of the girl he just wanted a fucking date with already. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“Y/n, Y/n—listen to me.” Jake cooed as he held your face in his hands as you sat crying on the couch. Jake had been kneeling in front of you from the moment he found you in the state of distress you were in. You remembered this moment so vividly, so clearly in your mind that it had become a core memory. You’d just admitted that you were falling head over heels in love with Bradley Bradshaw and couldn’t understand why you’d let yourself do that after everything that had happened. 

“I’m fucked Jake! I’m royally fucked!” The snot that came out your nose as you ugly cried made Jake laugh. He loved you oh so much but if he knew anything it was that you were about to become someone to Bradley Bradshaw and he, you. 

“You deserve someone who can’t wait to talk to you every day you delirious delinquent!” Jake shook you softly. “Someone who can’t wait to spend time with you, get to know you, fall in love with you yeah?” He tried to remind you as his voice echoed inside your head. “Please stop settling for half hearted, lukewarm, hesitant and indecisiveness.” 

The vision of Jake your memory had painted had slowly begun to fade as your eyes fluttered open. But not before the final sentence that stuck to you like super glue echoed through your mind. “It’s always gonna be better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feel unworthy of love—but if you really like Rooster, take the leap Fe, you won’t regret it.” 

The steady beeping of all your monitors was the first thing you focused on when you woke up. The second and most important thing you managed to focus on as you came out of your grogginess, was the little ball of warmth that curled up against you. 

“Oh—“ Bradley heard the whimper like noise escape you as he looked up from his laptop, he’d moved past the yellow polkadot and onto possibly erecting a treehouse in the backyard like his dad had made him when he was just a kid. He was sure there was a photo on his mantlepiece of the man, the myth, the legend that was Nick Bradshaw standing with Bradley on his shoulder right in front of the newly built treehouse. “Oh my baby, my sweet baby girl.” You cuddled your daughter as tightly as he could with your arm still in a sling. Immobilised. With your jaw still locked. Banded. With your heart pounding inside your chest with a love so unconditional it would never fade. 

“Hi mamma.” Dot cooed as she stirred in your arms and first the jumper of Bradley’s you wore. “I missed you.” Rooster just sat back and watched the moment he wished had come under better circumstances. He knew he’d have to tell you about Jake, about Jaidyn. But he’d do that in the morning. 

“Oh darling you have no idea how much I missed you.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~*

Tags: @a-serene-place-to-be @lilyevanswhore @thescarletknight2014 @blindedbythelightt @averyhotchner @emma8895eb @blairfox04 @caitsymichelle13 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @teacupsandtopgun @aemondssiut @feltonswifesworld87 @akalei349 @notjustsomeblonde @americaarse @avaleineandafryingpan @phoenix1388 @xoxabs88xox @je-suis-prest-rachel @pono-pura-vida @rosiahills22 @starset21 @anarchyrising @caidi-paris @starkleila @criticalroleobssedperson @enchantingdreamergothprune @flrboyd @emma8895eb @endofdays56 @seresinsaint @topguncortez @mandylove1000

[alexisnotstraight]

Does anyone know any songs about friends breaking up?

My only friend has been actively ignoring me since the start of march, and also ignored me when i was in one of the worst moments of my life when my grandfather passed away. We are online friends since 2021 and she kinda keeps me as a secret(? She posts her friend all over her social media like a proud mom but she only ever acknowled me one time in her close friends stories when i made a playlist for her (she even kept my username hidden) idk everything started going kinda weird when i told her i wasn't straight.

So now i just want to cry hahah

(I'm gonna put in the tags just a bunch of artists i like, feel free to recommend songs from artists who aren't tagged tho)

[oddinary4bts]

The First Time | jjk

A The Boy with Galaxies in his Eyes story

☆summary: you had never thought the night sky could be found in someone’s eyes. That is, until you met Jeon Jungkook and his gravity pulled you in. Will he crush you with the galaxies in his eyes, or will you learn to explore his worlds and make them yours?  

☆drabble (chapter?) summary: Jeon Jungkook is an enigma of galaxies and black holes. When he texts you to hang out late at night, you can’t resist the gravity of him. After all, you’ve always been a sucker for outer space.

☆pairing: Jeon Jungkook x female tattoo artist reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)

☆genre: fwb to lovers, idol!au, snippets of life, angst (a lot, none in this drabble), smut (a whole lot too), fluff. This drabble is almost exclusively smut tho

☆warnings: cursing, some red flags, explicit content: talk of kinks (exhibitionism mostly), dom!jk, switch!reader, breast play, jerking off (by oc and by jungkook), oral sex (male and female receiving, 69), fingering, hair pulling, finger sucking, ass slapping, choking, squirting, creampie, aftercare

☆playlist: here’s the playlist I made for the complete fic! It probably doesn’t really work with this chapter but wtv, I’m letting you guys be the judge of that haha

☆word count: 10.5k

☆a/n: FINALLY! I hope you will all enjoy reading this, it was a pleasure to write it. I was missing this couple far too much and wrote it all under 24h hahah I hope you will love reading it as much as I loved writing it. Thank you to @moonleeai for her work as my beta reader as per always <3

Read the complete fic here!

Go check out the Life Goes On series’ masterlist!

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

               You were lounging on your friend Aera’s bed, eyes lost in the pictures you were looking at on your phone. Images of rivals’ art, though you didn’t feel intimidated. You’d never be intimidated by another artist’s tattoos. No, you were far too confident in your own art for that.

Aera was currently sitting on the floor, waiting for her nails to dry under the UV light she had bought a few years ago, when you had both wanted to try gel polish for the first time. You had never really taken to getting your nails done, but Aera always had a perfect manicure and she had convinced you to do your nails today too.

They were pretty. A matte shade of black, with a little golden gem at the base of them. The almond shape made your fingers a little longer than what you were used to, and it made texting on your phone a little harder. It was a good thing that the person that texted you the most was next to you right now.

Jungkook hadn’t texted you yet, since last week. Had only texted you that night he had fucked your mouth, telling you he had gotten home and he’d let you know when he wanted to hang out again. You had wished him good night and had then proceeded to lay awake on the sleeping mat in your office, replaying the last few hours in your mind.

You weren’t sure you had gotten any sleep that night; in all honesty you didn’t think you had gotten a lot of it since then either.

“Almost done”, Aera said from her spot on the floor.

You turned your head to catch her gaze as she was already looking at you. “Finally.”

She playfully rolled her eyes, before glancing at your hands. “Still like the nails?”

“I literally told you so five minutes ago.”

She arched an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side as she threw you a no-bullshit look.

“Yes, I still like the nails”, you obediently replied, and she flashed you a grin, before focusing on her own fingers again.

“I hope Eunwoo likes this colour”, she murmured, probably more to herself than to you. She had chosen a baby pink colour and had put a silver gem at the base of the nails, in a similar fashion as the gems on your own fingers.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, a shit-eating smirk moving on your lips. “You’re so whipped.”

She had the decency to blush before glaring at you.

“What, it’s the truth.”

Her glare deepened, as did the red on her cheeks. “You’re annoying.”

You laughed, looking away from her as your phone dinged in your hand. Your eyes widened, the laugh dying on your mouth, and you were pretty sure all colour had leached from your features.

Aera immediately noticed. “What’s up?”

“Aish”, was all you could reply.

It was well past ten pm. As a matter of fact, it was far closer to eleven pm than to ten. For some reason, it didn’t surprise you that Jungkook had chosen that time to text you.

“What?” Aera insisted. “Is something wrong?”

You shut your phone, putting it down on the bed next to you before grabbing a pillow and hiding your face in it. Mostly to hide the grin that had taken over your lips, but also to make Aera wait for an explanation a little longer.

You couldn’t help the brat in you.

“Y/n”, Aera whined. “What’s going on?”

You put the pillow down, wrapping your arms around it as you held it against your chest. “Jungkook texted me.”

The shriek Aera let out was incoherent, though you were pretty sure it had been meant to be words. With pink dusting your cheeks, you finally met her gaze.

“What did he say?” she asked, words rushed and still high-pitched.

You laughed. “I don’t know, I didn’t check.”

You had told her about Jungkook. Hadn’t known if Jungkook wanted you to keep it silent and as it hadn’t made it to the list of the rules you had established last time you had hung out, you were pretty sure he wouldn’t mind. Aera had been a little shit, but then had admitted that she had known Jungkook was going to suggest that to you. She sheepishly said that she had encouraged him to do it when he had mentioned it in front of her and Eunwoo last week.

You had thrown enough pillows at her when she had told you to declare her room to be a battlefield, but you hadn’t stayed angry for long. Because she was Aera, and you were you. You couldn’t stay angry at her for long.

“Bitch”, she let out. She glanced down at her fingers, letting out a small whine. “Aish, can’t it dry faster so I can check myself?”

You couldn’t resist but throw the pillow her way. It caught her on the side of the face, and she let out a surprised yelp. “I can check myself, thank you very much. He’s just going to have to wait a little.”

Aera's lips stretched in a small knowing smile that meant nothing good.

“What?” you asked, a confused crease appearing between your eyebrows.

“We both know that’s not going to happen.”

“But it is!” you insisted.

The no-bullshit look was back on her pretty features in no time.

“M’kay, maybe not”, you grumbled, picking up your phone.

You could feel her expectant gaze on your profile as your phone scanned your features before opening to your Instagram feed. You pursed your lips as you switched to your texting app. It felt strange to see ‘Jeon Jungkook’ at the top of the conversations and your heart picked up its rate in your chest as you clicked on the unopened text.

What’s up?

You could imagine him on his side of the screen. Eyes a little dark, galaxies swirling dangerously close to black holes, his lust winning the fight against his will not to chase you. It ignited a fire in your core and your lips stretched in a knowing smirk.

“Oh, he is horny”, you stated, and Aera burst out laughing.

“What did he say?” You typed in your reply before telling your friend. She laughed again, shaking her head. “And you could tell he’s horny from that?”

You watched your text as it was delivered. Missing me?

It was teasing, and oh so fitting the dynamic between you and Jeon Jungkook.

“It’s almost eleven”, you told Aera. “What else can it be?”

She wiggled her brows. “You’re about to get some.”

“I just might.”

You laughed together, as you watched the three little dots at the bottom of the screen appear and disappear a couple of times before Jungkook replied.

The week’s up, I want to see you.

You bit at your bottom lip, a bubbly feeling forming in your chest. From the knowledge that Jungkook wanted to see you, of course, but mostly from the pull of gravity that settled deep inside of you.

You never would escape his gravity, no matter how little you texted.

To see me, or to fuck me?

You pressed send, before repeating the conversation to Aera.

“You are a teasing hoe!” she said, laughing. “I love you so much.”

You chuckled as you sat up in her bed. “I fear I will have to bail on you”, you said dramatically.

“You’re a loser.”

“You don’t mean it.”

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “You can’t bail on girls’ night.”

You cocked an eyebrow, folding your arms on your chest.

Aera looked up at the ceiling, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Okay, for Jungkook, you can bail on girls’ night.”

Your phone dinged, and you immediately looked down at it.

Both. I’m outside.

Your eyes widened. “What the fuck?”

Aera’s nails finally finished drying, and she quickly shut the UV lamp before jumping on the bed next to you. “What?”

“He said he’s outside?”

“What?”

Your friend got up, going to the window. She pulled the blinds before looking at you with the most bewildered expression you had ever seen on her face.

It made you get up and walk over to her until you could gaze at the world outside yourself. Sure enough, Jungkook was outside, leaning against his Mercedes with one hand in his pocket, his other hand holding up his phone. He was wearing a loose-fitting black t-shirt, a few sizes too big for him. It made him look boyish and you jumped away from the window as he looked up from his phone.

“How did he know where you live?”

Aera had the same startled expression on her features. “Eunwoo?”

Right. Eunwoo was dating her and had probably been over at least once from what your friend had told you. Still, it surprised you to no end that Jungkook would come all the way here without telling you in advance.

“He’s crazy”, you mumbled.

If you were in his head, you’d know that he couldn’t resist your gravity, a little like you couldn’t resist his. But you weren’t, and all you could do was hold Aera’s gaze.

“He might just be”, she agreed, shaking her head in disbelief. “But don’t keep him waiting, I don’t want my parents to see him here.”

You slowly nodded, glancing at the bed where you had abandoned your phone in your rush to look outside. You walked back to it, feeling a little dumbfounded before moving to your purse on Aera’s vanity. You texted Jungkook that you were on your way, before hugging Aera goodbye.

“Don’t tap it before you wrap it, mmh?” she let out as she held you.

You cringed in her arms. “Ew.”

The shit-eating grin was back on her lips as you pulled away from the embrace. “We both know what you’re going to do.”

You shook your head, though a small smirk had formed on your lips.

“Anyways, don’t keep him waiting any longer”, she encouraged you.

“Yeah.” You moved towards the door, letting out another disbelieved laugh. “What the fuck is going on?”

Aera sported the most precious smile as you looked at her over your shoulder. “Idols coming into our life is what’s going on.”

Idols and a boy with galaxies in his eyes, it seemed.

 ***

                 The air outside was fresh, for an early summer evening. You would have shivered as you had stepped outside had Jungkook not immediately found your gaze, lips stretching into a smirk that had your mind going into a frenzy. You matched the smirk with one of your own as you walked up to him.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

“Good evening to you too.”

He pushed up from the car, putting his phone away in one of his pockets. You watched him carefully. The orange glow of the neon light outside Aera’s house coated him in a soft light that made his features seem younger, less intimidating. Or maybe it just was the fact that you had had his cock down your throat a week ago that made him seem less scary.

“I thought it’d be simpler this way”, he offered as an explanation, before moving to open the car door behind him.

You furrowed your brows, crossing your arms on your chest. “So impatient.”

He turned back towards you, and your eyes found his galaxies. It made your breath hitch in your throat and you both just looked at each other for a time. Words were useless, in that moment, and all you wanted was to close the distance between you, until you’d be able to dive headfirst into the deep space of his gaze.

You refrained from doing so, almost frowning at the animalistic urge that was taking over you, and you sighed in relief as he finally looked away, tongue darting out to play with his piercing.

“A week is a long time”, he said.

You couldn’t agree more.

“Anyway, do you want to come over to my place?” he asked. He didn’t really meet your gaze, as if he was suddenly afraid you’d reject him. It made him look vulnerable, and way too different from the predator that usually took over him when you were around.

You closed the distance between you, grazing his inked forearm with your fingers until he was looking at you again. The stars shone brightly from so close, and for a moment you just watched him.

“I wouldn’t have come outside if I hadn’t wanted to”, you pointed out after the moment had passed, and you let your hand trail higher. You were pretty sure goosebumps were forming on his skin, but you didn’t want to look away from his galaxies to confirm your intuition.

“I’m going to fuck you tonight”, he said, voice low and husky as dark holes took over his eyes.

You smirked. “The chase looks good on you, Jeon Jungkook.”

You let your hand fall at your side before walking around him so you could get in the car. He didn’t move for a time, as if taken aback by your words and action, but soon enough he turned around. His eyebrows were a little raised, as if he was surprised, and he let out a small laugh.

“I’ll let that slide just because I’ve been imagining you under me all week.”

His words made heat pool at your core and you didn’t have time to reply before he slammed the door shut, moving around the car until he could get in the driver’s seat. You looked out the window, eyes going up to Aera’s room. She was watching you, and you were pretty sure she offered you a thumbs-up before Jungkook started driving.

“So you’ve been thinking about me?” you asked, voice coated in honey. It was teasing, the way you said it, but you were surprised to see his lips stretch into a bunny smile instead of the smirk you had been expecting.

“I won’t deny it”, he simply said. “After you sucked my dick like that, it was all I could do not to go back to your tattoo shop and fuck you on your desk.”

You bit your lip to force your smirk away as you glanced at his profile. He was worrying at his piercing again, and you took a moment to admire his features.

Jungkook’s face was delicate. Big doe eyes and perfectly sculpted nose, along with clear skin you could only envy, though you had a pretty solid skincare routine yourself. In the streetlights, he really did look younger, as if you were both teenagers stealing moments away in the night.

Him coming to pick you up out of the blue like that really did feel like you were sneaking out with him. It was an exciting feeling, one that had you rest your head against the headrest while you still watched his profile.

Needless to say, his words held nothing of the sweet teenager innocence that youth entails.

“You know you can’t do that”, you reminded him.

He chuckled, nodding his head. “Don’t worry, I can behave.”

“Such a good boy…”

He threw you a warning glance as you pulled at some dry skin on your lower lip. The galaxies in his big eyes greeted you with their familiarity, even though most of them were still unexplored. And his gaze didn’t linger on you long enough for you to explore as he moved his attention back to the street.

“You’re going to give me new kinks if you keep calling me that”, he said, running a large hand through his long hair.

It was a little wild, his hair. As if he’d let it air dry after a shower, and it made him look so… normal. Like he was just a regular boy, and not an idol that had stolen more hearts than you could even begin to imagine. His hair curled at the nape of his neck, prettily, and it looked infinitely soft. You wanted to reach out and touch it, but you refrained, instead letting your gaze trickle down to the ink on his arm.

“Isn’t exhibitionism enough?” you teased.

He laughed, that sweet laugh you had only heard from him once before. It felt foreign, so far from the male confidence he usually irradiated that you had to look away.

“Not at all”, he replied. He chuckled again, and this time the sound was more familiar. It sparked another wave of warmth through you. “Do you have any kinks?”

Your mind went blank. You knew what you liked – anything that didn’t feel like love, mostly. But you didn’t know how to put it into words, so you carefully crafted a sentence that wouldn’t make him too wary.

“Why don’t you discover them as we go?”

He smirked, wetting his lips. “You and your mystery”, he tutted, slightly shaking his head before sparing a glance your way. “I’ll take my time until I know all of them like the back of my hand.”

You gulped, nodding slightly. The car filled with a tense silence as you looked away from him, unable to handle the intensity of his aura anymore. It was like his gravity had gone ten times stronger, and some part of you wasn’t even sure you’d be able to make it to his apartment, wherever he lived.

No, the warmth at your core told you you’d be willing to go right here, right now, parked on the side of a busy street.

Maybe exhibitionism was an unknown kink of yours after all.

The drive to Jungkook’s place took a little while, but he didn’t let it be silent for more than a few minutes. Soon enough, he started asking about your week and conversation easily flowed between the two of you, until he even told you about some unreleased projects he had been working on. He suggested that you should come to his studio sometime, to listen to the songs and tell him what you thought about it.

The fact he wanted your opinion made your heart beat just a little wildly in your chest, but you pushed it to the far back of your mind until you couldn’t feel the push and pull against your ribs anymore.

“Here we are”, he let out almost thirty minutes later.

You leaned forward to take in the sight of the fancy building, but it soon disappeared from view as Jungkook pulled into the underground parking.

“Finally.”

He threw you a teasing look, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Who’s impatient now?”

Blood rushed to your cheeks and you rolled your eyes as Jungkook let out another one of his iconic giggles. He felt different now, like the dark aura that had surrounded him since you had met him had melted into a bubbly boy. Maybe it was because the conversation was easy, and you had been joking about everything and nothing for the last half hour.

You wouldn’t complain. This Jungkook felt like he could be a friend. It was a different feeling, a foreign feeling you didn’t know how to interpret.

Jungkook parked the car, turning the keys in the ignition until the engine died. His hands fell to his thighs and he turned to look at you, head tilting to the side. “You got your nails done?”

It took you a full five seconds before you remembered that Aera had done your nails earlier that evening. You glanced at the black nails, and blush crept on your cheeks.

How the hell had Jungkook noticed? But then again, you knew his big doe eyes didn’t miss anything. You were just surprised he was bringing it up.

“Yeah”, you breathed. You raised your hand in the space between you and froze as he grabbed it, with that gentle touch of his, so he could take a good look.

“You don’t come off as the kind of girl that would get her nails done”, he murmured and his eyes trailed to your face. “But it looks good on you.”

You pursed your lips. “Thank you. I…” you trailed off, words dying on your tongue as the gravity of his galaxies pulled you in. You imagined yourself kissing him, and then remembered the rule.

You would never kiss Jeon Jungkook. Thinking about the rules brought you back to the reason you were here, in this car, with Jungkook, and it reminded you that it was all just a business deal anyway. No matter how friendly he acted, he’d never be more than just a business deal.

“You?” he pressed, playing with his piercing.

Your gaze dropped to it. “I don’t usually get my nails done.”

“I wonder how it’ll feel against my back.”

His words had been low. Barely above a whisper, and they had been uttered in a husky tone that made fire rush through your blood.

If the rule hadn’t been enough to put you back into your place, the intensity that was simmering from Jungkook’s gaze now was enough to remind you of what was about to come, and you instinctively closed your thighs.

“Why don’t we go up to your place?”

He smirked, letting go of your hand. “I love when you squirm under my gaze.”

“Wait till I’m squirming under you.”

His mouth fell open, before slowly going back to the cocky smirk. “Oh, I’ll make sure you squirm plenty enough, Y/n.”

You gulped as he got out of the car. You were already getting wet. Just being close to him… perhaps his gravity was just too strong and you had been heading towards the horizon of the black hole faster than you had thought you were. All you wanted was to be in his apartment already.

The elevator ride up to Jungkook’s floor was the longest you had ever experienced. Especially as he stood close to you, never really touching, but his warmth still seeped through you. Some part of you wanted to have him closer, until his skin would touch yours and really, when had you become so impatient?

Jungkook’s apartment was big, as you had expected it would be for someone as successful as him. What took you by surprise though was the amount of essential oil diffusers the main room held. Indeed, the kitchen and living room area was a wide-open space, and just from the door of the apartment you could see a few diffusers, all of them on and releasing their sweet smell to the space surrounding you.

You turned to look at Jungkook as he took off his shoes, putting slippers on before standing straight next to you again.

“What?” he let out.

You cocked an eyebrow, a teasing smile growing on your lips. “Why do you have so many diffusers?”

His face split in that same grin he had offered you before. It made the galaxies swirl faster, and you had to look away.

“I have a very sensitive nose”, he replied. “I like when stuff smells good.”

He took a step towards you, hand moving to grab your chin and have you look at him once more. Your heart stopped in your chest, as he tilted your head back, and his hand moved until it settled on the tender skin of your neck. Not choking you, no. Just holding you with that same gentle touch.

“For instance, your shampoo smells really good”, he said, leaning forward.

For a moment, you almost thought he was going to kiss you, and your heart forgot how to act. Only, he moved to the side, until his nose was grazing the side of your neck. He nibbled at the skin, and your hands immediately shot forward in the space between you, finding his waist.

“So does your perfume”, he murmured, and you could feel his lips moving against your skin. His piercing was warmer against you than you had expected it to be, but then again he had been playing with it so much you weren’t surprised it had gone warm.

Even though you had known what you were here to do, you were surprised that Jungkook had jumped right into it. You hadn’t even taken your shoes off, yet his gravity was already pulling you in, crushing you against his dark aura.

“Is that how you greet all guests that you bring over?” you asked, a little breathlessly as he sucked on your neck in that spot where it connected with your shoulder.

Jungkook chuckled against your skin, pulling away just enough so his gaze could find yours. “Only the pretty ones.”

It had a smile forming on your lips, and it melted into a smirk as you pushed him away. He took a step back, and you didn’t take your time to analyze his expression before bending down to take off the platform boots you were wearing. You immediately became even smaller than him, which allowed him to tower over you as he stepped closer once again.

“Do you game?” he asked.

You arched a brow in question as he leaned in again, brushing a new set of gentle kisses on the column of your throat. Your eyes fluttered shut, and you ran a hand through his hair, pulling on the curls.

“What?”

He just offered you a secretive look, before grabbing your hand and leading you inside of the room proper. You took a moment to observe his home. It was humbler than you had thought it would be, with naked walls and high ceilings. The only strange thing was the diffusers, but you had already grown accustomed to them. His kitchen stood against a wall, with an island where a few dishes had been set to dry. The kitchen table was on the other side of it, and your eyes trailed to the end of the room, where you could see what Jungkook had meant. He owned a fancy gaming set-up, and LED lights moved on the keyboard in all the colours of the rainbow.

You let out a small laugh at the sight of the mattress next to it.

“Why do you have a mattress in the middle of the living room?” you asked.

He shrugged, offering you another bunny grin over his shoulder. “Way more comfortable than a couch.”

Jungkook stopped next to the gaming set-up before turning to look at you again. His gaze had turned dark once more, full of black holes. He pulled you closer and you resisted, shaking your hand out of his grip before folding your arms on your chest.

You really were in the mood to be a little brat.

“You’re not even giving me a tour?” you asked, cocking your head to the side.

His tongue played with the inside of his cheek, an annoyed expression taking over his features. “You’re insufferable.”

You grinned before winking at him. “I won’t miss the opportunity to explore a fancy apartment.”

Mostly, you wanted him to show you his bedroom because there was no chance in hell you’d let him fuck you in the middle of the living room. Of course, Jungkook must have understood because he made his room the last part of the tour.

The sight of his bed had an eyebrow cock prettily on your face. The mattress rested on the floor and only a thin black sheet covered it. A single pillow laid near the wall, and a television was hanging from the wall in front of it over a fake fireplace that wasn’t on at the moment.

Jungkook walked in the room. You watched him stand there, moving closer to him as he stood with his back to you. You wrapped your arms around his delicate waist and he stiffened under your touch.

“I want you”, you breathed against him.

He chuckled, a deep sound that reverberated through him. “Yet you’ve been making me wait.”

“I wasn’t just going to let you fuck me in your living room”, you said, letting go of his waist as he turned around.

The galaxies in his eyes shone with lust, and maybe a little bit of annoyance too. It made you bite at your bottom lip and his gaze dropped to it.

“For someone that’s willing to fuck in public spaces, I didn’t expect you to be iffy about a living room.” His voice had gone an octave lower, coated in a husky tone that made your hair dance on your arms right as he grabbed you by the hips, pulling you closer to him.

“I’ve got a little self-respect, Jeon Jungkook”, you breathed, eyes fluttering shut as he pressed his knee between your legs. His muscular thigh brought unexpected friction to your clit, and you grabbed his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Right.” It was condescending, the way he said the word and you would have cursed him had he not made you grind on his thigh. “Is that why you’re already dripping for me?”

You were. It was needless to lie and tell him that you weren’t because you knew he could smell the pheromones on you, just like you could smell his too.

“Are you going to do something about it?” you breathed, eyes opening just enough so you could look at him through your lashes.

His features were set in a dangerous expression that made even more heat pool at your core. “Oh, I sure will.” He smirked, and one of his hands moved up to cup your face. He ran his thumb on your lip, before pushing it into your mouth. You instinctively sucked on it, and he hissed in satisfaction. “But first, I want to feel your pretty lips around my dick again, mmh?”

You were already too far gone to refuse. You still managed to step out of his embrace, moving towards the bed. Jungkook’s heavy gaze followed you and a moment later his steps did so too.

“Lie down on the bed”, you instructed. “Let’s get a better angle than last time, mmh?”

Jungkook’s lips were parted and his tongue darted out to play with his piercing before he smirked. “Let me get you out of your clothes first, I want to see all of your tattoos.”

You froze for half a beat before grabbing the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head. You let it fall to the ground as you caught Jungkook’s gaze again. It dipped down your frame once, slowing on the rose and dagger on your ribs before meeting your eyes again.

“So pretty”, he praised. He reached in the space between you, fingers finding your tattoo. You sucked in a breath as he caressed the lines of it before moving up to the lacy fabric of your bralette. “This looks expensive.”

You wet your lips, breathing out shakily as his digits found one of your erect nipples, pinching it slightly. “It is, so be careful with it.”

“Don’t worry, it’s too pretty on you, you’re keeping it on.”

You slowly nodded, blush creeping on your cheeks as he leaned once again, this time pressing wet kisses on your collarbone. Your hands instinctively moved to his hair. It was as soft as you had thought it would be, though you lost your sense of touch as Jungkook pulled the bralette to the side, just enough so his lips could close around your nipple.

He sucked on it, playing with it with his tongue, and his galaxies found your eyes again.

“Fuck”, you breathed out as one of his hands moved to your ass, squeezing the flesh through the pants you were wearing.

Jungkook smirked against you, before pulling away. He gently placed the bralette back into its place before his hands found the button of your pants. “Is it okay if I take this off?”

He asked so sweetly you almost grabbed his face to kiss him wildly. You refrained from doing so, instead tilting your head to the side.

“Shouldn’t you take off your own shirt first?” you asked.

A new smirk found its way to his lips. “Eager to see me too?”

“It’s only fair, no?”

He looked at you with his star-filled gaze for a time, and you watched as the galaxies turned even darker, swallowed by black holes again. Slowly but surely, he reached for his t-shirt, pulling it over his head.

You were not as good as him. You couldn’t resist looking down, admiring his body. And Jungkook had a perfect body, sculpted by hours at the gym every week. You wanted to run a hand on it, and so you did, stepping closer to him so you could feel the ridge of his abs under your palm.

“Pretty”, you complimented him, in the same tone he had complimented you with just a moment ago.

“Why don’t you take my pants off for me now, mmh?”

So he had forgotten about your own pants. You let it slide, hand falling from his abs to the imprint of his dick. Even through the pants and underwear he was wearing, you could feel it sitting heavily in your hand. You wondered if it would be just as pretty as it had been last week, and if it would taste just as good.

You salivated at the idea as you started undoing his belt.

“Wait”, he said, making you pause. “I’m forgetting I wanted to take off your pants first.”

You shook your head, dropping to your knees before he could even reach for the button of your pants again. His hand stilled halfway between you, until it moved so he could grab a handful of your hair.

“Never mind”, he said, letting out a small chuckle.

You echoed the laugh, before focusing on undressing him. He helped you by stepping out of the pants pooling at his ankles. You focused on looking up at him, ignoring the cock sitting next to your face, but you still wrapped a hand around the base of it, biting your lip as you stroked him.

He was still a little soft, which meant you’d be able to take all of him in your mouth pretty easily. Keeping your gaze focused on him, you gave a tentative lick on the head, the salty taste of his precum filling your mouth. You moaned, then smirked as his chest moved up and down from the deep breath he had just taken.

“I thought you wanted a-”

His words died on his lips as you took him all the way in, hollowing your cheeks as he hit the back of your throat, keeping the gag in as you went a little farther in. You only stopped when your nose brushed his pelvic.

“Fuck”, he moaned, eyes shutting as he threw his head back, teeth biting hard on his bottom lip. “Don’t suck me like that.”

Yet his hand in your hair only kept you tight against him, as he circled his hips. You moaned against his dick and his grip on your hair tightened. He pulled at it until his dick was out of your mouth, and his gaze only met yours again after he had taken a few deep breaths.

“You have to ease into it, Y/n”, he tutted.

You ran your hands along his muscular thighs, eyes dropping to his dick for the first time. It was already harder than it had been a moment ago, and you eyed the line of drool that went from the head to your mouth.

“You seemed to like it”, you innocently said.

He pulled you up to your feet, releasing your hair only once you were standing next to him. “If you want me to fuck you tonight, you have to ease into it.”

You would have apologized had his words not made you feel powerful. You really did have a strong effect on him too, didn’t you?

“Then get on the bed”, you said, glancing at the mattress before meeting his gaze.

He smirked, shaking his head no. You only understood why when he dropped to his knees too, cocking his head to the side. “Why not get a taste of you first?”

Jeon Jungkook kneeling for you was quite the sight to see, with his sleeve of tattoos and red lips from when he had sunk his teeth in it.

You would have been a fool to say no to his offer, so you nodded as he unbuttoned your pants, pulling them slowly down your legs. He gazed up at you, before letting out a small chuckle.

“A matching set of underwear?” he let out. “Were you expecting to get fucked tonight?”

As a matter of fact, you hadn’t expected it at all, but you liked wearing matching sets. So you only cocked your head to the side, smiling prettily as you looked down at him. “Will you be jealous if I say yes?”

“I’m the one that’s getting to fuck you, no?”

He had a point, and before you could reply his lips had closed on your clit through the fabric of your thong. You moaned a breathy sound, fingers grabbing a handful of his hair again. You rocked forward, seeking friction and he chuckled against you.

It was almost enough to make you see stars, though the only stars you really saw were those in his gaze as he looked up at you. “So impatient”, he teased.

He held your gaze as he pulled your thong to the side before lightly flicking his tongue against your clit. Your breath hitched in your throat and your mouth fell open.

“You’re so hot”, he praised you and then he dove in, closing his eyes in concentration.

And he dove in hard. Tongue parting your folds as he lapped up your juices, one hand still holding your panties to the side while the other had wrapped around you, finding a home on your ass. He massaged the flesh as he fucked his tongue into you, nose pressing against your clit.

Your knees felt weak for a time, right as you let out a louder moan that had him meeting your gaze again. His eyes shone brightly, and he pulled away, one finger finding your clit and pressing circles on it while he stared up at you.

“Do you want me to finger you at the same time?” he asked.

You chuckled breathlessly. “Have you ever met a girl that said no to that?”

“No.” He smirked wickedly before pulling your panties down your legs. You stepped out of them and made a move towards the bed when he grabbed the back of your thighs, pulling you back towards him until his mouth was making out with your clit again.

He only let go of your thighs once he was convinced you weren’t going to step away. And you couldn’t, feet glued to the ground as he flicked his tongue fast against your clit. You could already feel an orgasm forming on the horizon and he had barely even begun.

Jungkook was dangerously good with his mouth.

It only became worse when he dipped a finger inside of you, slowly, in high contrast with the speed at which his tongue was moving against you.

“Fuck, Jeon”, you breathed.

He smirked against you, slowing down his ministrations on the bundle of nerves as he started fucking his finger into you leisurely. Lazily, as if he had all the time in the universe.

He added a second finger, and his digits stilled inside of you as he sucked on your clit, hard.

You moaned again, grinding your pussy into his face. The hand on your hip held you in place, closer to him than you had been before, and he rested his tongue flat against your clit, moving it quickly from side to side.

Your knees buckled, and you would have fallen down had he not held you up.

“Wait wait wait”, you breathed out, and he finally pulled away. His pupils were so dilated his whole gaze was black, but it still was reflecting the light with those galaxies you were growing accustomed to.

“Too much?” he asked cockily.

“Get on the bed, I want to bury your cock in my mouth while you eat me out like that.”

He licked his lips clean of your juices, wiping his chin with the back of his tattooed hand. “As you wish.”

His fingers left you empty as he got up. You watched him carefully as he brought them to your lips, like he had done that night at the drum studio. You tilted your head to the side, taking his fingers in your mouth, tongue playing with the sensitive pads, and Jungkook’s eyes shut. Once you let his fingers go, he grabbed your jaw again, to go back to sucking on your neck like he had at the start of the whole ordeal. It had you pulling him flush against you, and the sensation of his hard dick between the two of you made anticipation pool inside of you.

You couldn’t wait till you’d feel it stretching your walls.

Jungkook moved his hand down, cupping your breast through your bralette, before pinching your nipple again. Only, this time, he did it harder, and you let out a small, pained sound that had him look up at you with concern in his gaze.

“Sorry”, he quickly apologized.

Instead of replying with words, you put your hand on top of his, pushing it harder into your breast.

“Right, you like it rough”, he breathed, male smirk gracing his lips.

“Let me suck your dick first.”

Your words were barely above a whisper, coming out of your lust-clouded mind with surprising steadiness. Jungkook nodded his head, before moving to the mattress and lying down on it. He lazily stroked his dick as you followed him a moment later.

You kneeled next to him, watching him pleasure himself for a time. It had your pussy clenching around nothing, right as new lubrication dripped from it, wetting your inner thighs and calves.

“Fuck, I’m so wet”, you said.

His large hand moved between your legs, and he buried two fingers inside of you, fingering you in time with his jerking off. It had your eyes shut as you put a hand on his stomach to steady yourself.

“I could fuck you like that”, he breathed, and he moaned as your pussy clenched against his fingers this time. “I really could.”

“Not yet.”

You climbed on top of him, with your back facing him, until you were bent over him. Pussy over his face and lips already littering small kisses on the side of his hard dick. It jumped in your hand, and you were about to take it in your mouth when Jungkook’s lips closed around your clit again. He sucked hard and you retaliated by wrapping your lips around his dick, tongue immediately playing with his head.

Jungkook thrusted up and his dick slid in until it hit the back of your throat. You gagged as tears formed in your eyes, but still you hollowed out your cheeks, before swallowing, knowing exactly what Jungkook wanted to feel in this moment. He rewarded you with a slap to your ass, before he really started eating you out, tongue moving fast against you in unforgiving circles.

The orgasm came back full force, as if out of nowhere, and it hit you as Jungkook dipped a long finger inside of you. You came, choking out a moan around his dick. You found yourself unable to move as Jungkook rode you through your high, tongue never once faltering. He only slowed down when you started sucking his dick again, bobbing your head up and down, letting your tongue swirl around the head when he was almost fully out.

He grunted, slapping your ass again. It was harder this time, and it stung, yet you still moaned around his cock.

It seemed it was the only thing you could do. Moan, that is. Because Jeon Jungkook had a way of touching you, of pulling you in with that gravity of his that made you feel reborn. New, as if you had never been touched by a man before.

“Let me fuck you now”, he said, and it almost sounded like he was begging for it.

You only gave in because your clit was getting too sensitive and his tongue still moving against it was starting to feel uncomfortable. So you sat up, climbing down his body until your pussy was against his dick. You rolled your hips, covering him with your slick juices, as he sat up and wrapped his arms around your waist. He rested his forehead on the back of your shoulder, letting out a breathy sound. He was surprisingly sweaty, as if he had just run a marathon, and some part of you would have been disgusted had he not been Jeon Jungkook.

You didn’t think the man behind you, the man under you, could ever be disgusting.

“I know you like being in control, Y/n”, he said, lips moving against your skin. He sucked a hickey into the back of your shoulder, and you hissed, rolling your hips again.

You knew he would slide right in even if he was on the larger side. You knew it because the area between your legs felt uncomfortable with all the slick juices, or maybe it was uncomfortable because he wasn’t already balls deep inside of you.

“I know you like your control, but I really want to fuck your brains out”, he said, as if finishing the thought he had previously started.

You moaned, and his tattooed hand moved up until it was wrapped around your throat. His grip was tight, but it didn’t hurt. No, it didn’t hurt at all, as his fingers dug in the artery, cutting the blood supply to your brain. It just made you light-headed, until all you could think of was the firm press of his dick against you.

You grabbed his wrist, holding it a lot tighter than his own grip.

He hissed. “Watch the nails, Y/n.”

He released your throat, just enough for blood to move up to your brain again. You slowly nodded, turning into the obedient playdough he had already brought out of you once.

“Please fuck me”, you breathed.

He thrusted up, pressing his dick even harder against you. “You’re so wet. Do you think your tight little pussy can take me in?”

You nodded again, because really you were pretty sure he’d slip right in. You didn’t think you had ever been so horny before in your life, and you just wanted him to pound into you until he had rearranged your guts.

“I want to hear you say it”, he said, tone dangerous.

You gulped against the palm of his hand. “I can take you in.”

You could feel him smirking against your skin. “Good girl.” He let go of your throat, and his hands caressed up your arms a couple of times as he spoke the next words, “Get on all four, I want to see your ass bounce while I’m fucking you.”

You obeyed, moving until Jungkook wasn’t stuck underneath you anymore. Your juices rolled down your folds as you got into position, ass up and face down into the mattress. You turned your head to the side to watch Jungkook as he positioned himself, aligning his dick with your entrance.

He met your gaze with his galaxies, with his nebulas and his stars, and you sucked in a breath as you felt him push against your folds… only he pulled away before resting his dick on your ass.

“What a fucking pretty ass”, he said, and he slapped so hard you were pretty sure he had left an imprint behind. He quickly massaged the spot with that gentle touch of his, eyes carefully watching your features to make sure he hadn’t hurt you.

The only thing that was hurting was your pussy because he still wasn’t buried deep inside of you.

“Jeon, fuck me before I change my mind”, you whined.

He leaned, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. His gentle fingers stayed on your face for a little longer than necessary before he pulled away, finally pressing the head of his dick against your entrance again.

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?”

You quickly nodded, knowing there was no way in hell he could hurt you from how wet you were. And you weren’t wrong: his dick stretched you wide open as he pushed in, but it never hurt. Maybe burned a little, but it felt so good your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

“Fuck”, you cursed, and your pussy clenched hard against him as he bottomed out.

“Fuck”, he echoed, before letting out a low chuckle. “You’re tighter than I thought you were.”

Your eyes fluttered open and you watched his features for a time. His eyes were shut hard, eyebrows almost touching, and his mouth was set in a harsh line. He looked angry and it only became worse as he slowly slid out before thrusting all the way in again.

“So fucking good”, he praised.

“Harder”, you begged.

His eyes finally opened, and he met your gaze with a darkness and intensity that had you clench against him again.

“Don’t clench like that, Y/n, I don’t want to come just yet.”

For the spite of it you clenched again, on purpose this time, and your lips stretched into a lazy smirk.

Jungkook didn’t take his time to wipe it off your face, immediately starting to pound into you hard. You cried out as he held your hips in place. You had expected his fingers to be digging into the supple skin, leaving bruises behind, but his touch was still as gentle as ever.

Except for when he was slapping your ass, that is.

He fucked into you hard, his short-clipped moans entwining with yours in a sinful melody that would surely put porn actors to shame. He felt good, stretching you like that. Better than you had thought he would, as if his dick was the puzzle piece to complete you.

Stars were forming on the periphery of your vision when he slowed down, bending down a little as he caught his breath. You started circling your hips, watching him as he pushed his hair back from his face. It had gone wet from the sweat on his brow, and he looked heavenly behind you like that. Especially with you impaled on him like that.

Scratch that: he was the devil incarnate, fucking you like that.

“Yeah, like that”, he encouraged you as his hands moved back to your hips, guiding you along his dick. “You’re such a good fucking girl, taking me like that.”

You moaned your agreement, and he grunted as you moved a little faster. His eyes fluttered open again, and he watched the spot where your bodies met, hands moving until he was caressing your ass.

“For all the imagining that I did this week, I really wasn’t good at picturing your ass.”

He met your gaze then, and he surprisingly offered you a sweet smile that had you look away. You didn’t have time to think about it as he resumed the pounding, having found sufficient oxygen to help him through the next round.

This time, he stayed bending, hitting inside of you at a new angle that really had you see stars. You reached under you, fingers wildly searching for your clit, and you moaned as you started pressing circles into it. Jungkook didn’t let you do it, pulling your hand away almost immediately as he slowed down the pounding.

“Let me do it”, he said. “Just enjoy this, baby, I don’t want you to do any of the work.”

You would have complained or refused had he not started playing with your clit himself with fingers just as skilled as yours. Maybe a little more, because the thought that they were his fingers had an orgasm threatening to take over you.

“Why don’t you squirt all over me, mmh? I can feel you want it.”

He wasn’t wrong. You could feel in your lower stomach that same feeling that had taken over you that night at the drum studio. Only this time it rushed to you a lot faster, making you cry out from the intensity of the feeling.

“Let go”, Jungkook encouraged you. “Show me how good I’m making you feel.”

He hadn’t finished the sentence when the orgasm hit you. And it hit hard, making you clench your pussy so tight his dick left your walls. He continued his ministrations on your clit all through your high, pressing just a little lighter than he had been a moment earlier. As if he knew that it was already too sensitive.

The ecstasy this orgasm left in you had you falling into a lying position and Jungkook chuckled behind you. You couldn’t summon your eyes to open, so you just laid in bliss for a time. It took you almost a full minute before you were able to open your eyes, and a few seconds more for your sight to adjust to the scene.

Jungkook was jerking off next to you, quickly, bicep popping out from the effort. You tried to move to his side fast, but your shaky limbs didn’t allow speed at all. It was as if you were swimming in molasse, but your movement gained Jungkook’s attention.

“Something wrong?”

“I want you to come in me”, you mumbled.

It was the first full sentence you had been able to formulate in a while.

“You’re spent”, he pointed out, but he still slowed down, pumping his dick to a calmer rhythm.

“I want to feel you come inside me”, you insisted.

You watched Jungkook’s resolve wash down the drain as he let go of his dick. He moved closer to you again, brushing an arm on your flank. “Are you sure you can still take me?” he asked. “I really don’t want to hurt you.”

You were sore between your legs. You could feel it now that you were slowly coming down from the high, but you still wanted to feel him come inside of you. It was only fair after you had squirted around his dick like that.

“I could take you all night long, Jeon Jungkook, you feel so good.”

He played with his piercing, as if still debating, but you already knew he was going to fuck you again. And he did, choosing a new position this time, with him kneeling between your legs. He made you lie on his pillow, telling you that he didn’t care if it got wet, and soon enough he was balls deep inside of you again.

He stayed still for a time, and you met the galaxies in his eyes as he was observing you, a somber expression on his features. It felt out of place and it reminded you of the shadows that had passed in his gaze at the club as he had shown you his covered-up tattoos.

“Do you know how pretty you are?” he whispered. He seemed appalled that he had spoken the words aloud, and his eyebrows shut toward his hairline. Yet you only watched him, lips stretching into a smile that had his expression soften.

You were glad to see the shadows had lifted, and the galaxies were once more visible.

Jungkook fucked you slow, for a time. Watching you as you moaned little breathless sounds under him, hands mindlessly playing with your breasts. You could feel his gaze on you, and it only made your moans turn a little more pornographic, a little louder as he picked up the pace and the squelching sounds returned.

Not that you had been paying attention to them earlier.

Jungkook’s large hands settled on your waist, still ever so gentle. His eyes had fluttered closed a moment ago, the angry expression returning, though you now knew that it was because he felt good. Because there was no way in hell he didn’t feel good considering the moans that tumbled from his mouth, entwined with your name.

That, most of all, made you clench your pussy again.

“I’m going to come”, Jungkook said, and he grunted as you clenched once more.

“Come for me.”

He did. Shooting ropes and ropes of his seed deep inside of you, painting the walls of your pussy white. He fucked you sloppily all throughout his high, never fully stopping. And he looked heavenly as he came. Features relaxing into a blissful expression, thumbs caressing your skin as if he needed the connection to reality. His wet hair had fallen in front of his eyes again, and you could see drops of sweat rolling down the side of his face.

You would have reached between you to wipe them dry had he not opened his eyes and met your gaze. He smiled, the kind of smile only ecstasy could bring forth, and you echoed it with a smile of your own. He looked at you for a time, before glancing around.

“Wow.”

His little word made you feel like the most powerful woman in the world, almost convincing you to go for another round right then and there. You doubted he wanted to, so you stayed still. But your hands seemed to have a mind of their own because they move from your breasts to his hands on your waist, and a second later his fingers were closing around yours.

“Let me go get something to get you cleaned up with, yeah?”

You held onto his fingers for a moment longer before you let him go, and as soon as his dick pulled out of you you could feel his seed spilling out, inevitably falling on his pillow.

You put your hand between your legs, hoping to keep most of his juices off from his bed, but by the time he came back with toilet paper it had already dripped from your fingers to the black sheets as you had moved the pillow from under you.

“Sorry”, you apologized, and you replaced your hand with the toilet paper he handed you.

Jungkook offered you a confused look, a crease appearing between his brows. “What for?”

“The sheets”, you explained.

“Oh.” He let out a small laugh, before offering you another sweet smile. “I’ll wash them, it’s no big deal.”

And really, it didn’t feel like a big deal as you held the gaze of the boy with galaxies in his eyes.

You finished cleaning up, eyes searching around for your clothes. Jungkook had taken the time to put his boxers back on, and he handed you your panties and shirt.

“Do you want to cuddle a little?” he asked, fully taking you by surprise.

You didn’t know what part of the business deal entailed cuddling, but you found yourself unable to say no to his puppy eyes. “Can I at least go pee first?”

His face lit up and he nodded yes.

When you came back to his room, Jungkook had already taken the sheets off of the bed, and they were bundled in a corner of the room. You almost laughed at the sight of them, but then your eyes trailed to him, lying on his bed with a hand propped under his head, full sleeve of tattoo on display, popping abs decorating his stomach. It took your breath away, and you just stood there for a couple of seconds, watching him in the purple, red, and green light of the lamp he had turned on while you were gone.

It made the ceiling look like an aurora borealis, and made Jungkook look ethereal, like he really was a product of outer space.

“Come here”, he said as he caught sight of you.

You obeyed, unable to find words, and lied down next to him. He pulled you in his embrace until you were half laying on top of him and his tattooed hand moved under your shirt to trace circles on the skin of your back.

You remained silent for a while, listening to the beating of his heart. You knew you would have to go soon, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him just yet. He was just too comfortable, too warm, and you knew you could fall asleep if you wanted to.

That, most of all, was the reason why you forced yourself to pull away, five minutes later.

You caught Jungkook’s gaze, offering him a tight-lipped smile.

“I have to go.”

Four words that seemed to break the calm atmosphere that had been reigning between you two since you had fucked.

“Don’t you want to stay for the night?”

He was asking sweetly, as if testing the waters. It occurred to you that it hadn’t been part of the rules that you had made, but you didn’t find the strength in you to tell him that it should be. You only insisted until the pout on his lips broke into a smile as you started teasing him about the absence of pillows for you in his bed.

“Are you saying I should get more pillows if I want you to stay next time?”

You cocked your head to the side, folding your arms on your chest. “I won’t stay, Jeon Jungkook. You know that.”

He didn’t reply right away, then nodded his head. “Fair enough.” He sat up, before moving to the side of the bed. “Do you need me to drive you home?”

Why the hell was he so sweet? Friends with benefits weren’t supposed to be so sweet to each other. But then again you were pretty sure being sweet was a part of Jungkook’s personality, a way he carried himself with everyone around him.

You were fully aware it wasn’t about you. Because otherwise, he wouldn’t have asked for this to strictly be a business deal, right?

“I’ll call a cab, it’s fine”, you reassured him as you collected the rest of your clothes and put them on. “You’ve been good to me plenty enough tonight.”

He smirked, and confidence filled his gaze with outer space again. “Have I now?” You threw him a no-bullshit look that had him laugh out loud.

A moment later, Jungkook had put a pair of black joggers on, and he walked you to the door of his apartment. He watched you put on your shoes, and when you stood straight again he opened his arms.

You couldn’t resist but step forward and embrace him. His arms closed around you and he hugged you tight against him. You could hear his beating heart and you were pretty sure it was beating a little faster now.

“Guess I’ll see you next week, then?”

He said it like a question, and you nodded against him, before pulling away. “Yes.”

His damn gravity had ensnared you too deep after all.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Oooooof is it me or is it hot in here? I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you all for reading it <3

Follow this link to leave feedback, it always keep me motivated to write more <3 Let me know if you want me to write some other drabbles/one shot/chapters for this fic, I feel like I have so much I could still explore... ;) (maybe a visit to Jungkook’s studio mmmh?)

Taglist:

 @chimchimmarie​ | @pamzn​

[michellemisfit]

Weekly Tag Wednesday Thursday

Thanks for the game @jrooc and thanks for the tag @blue-disco-lights @deedala @energievie @lingy910y @creepkinginc @crestfallercanyon

Name: Mys

What is the most listened to artist in your music app of choice this month?

The Libertines - They’ve just released a new album

What song do you know all the lyrics to?

Erm… most? Well, at least most songs I regularly listen to. Back in the day when we’d still buy CDs I would get a new album and sit in my bedroom listening to it beginning to end, while reading along to the lyrics in the booklet. And oooooh, I would get so furious when bands had a booklet that did not include song lyrics. Wtf is wrong with you?? SO ANGRY! haha

What song do you pretend to know all the lyrics to and sing along to even though you don't?

It’s the End of the World As We Know It by R.E.M. I get to ‘eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn’ and then I’m lost until we hit the chorus lol But it’s such a fun song to pretend to sing along to, and really just making vaguely appropriate noises at the right time, until the chorus kicks in again… and of course we’re all ready to shout LEONARD BERNSTEIN! Hahaha

If you were to be crowned Queen/King/Royalty of listening to a band or artist, who would that be?

That would have to be Dirty Pretty Things. I fell in love with The Libertines just as they were falling apart and a few weeks away from calling it quits for good, so when Carl Barât announced the first tour of his new band Dirty Pretty Things I wasn’t gonna miss out again. So I flew to Ireland and then to England and attended the first 5 gigs of their first tour. And that pretty much set the tone for the next couple of years of my life. I ended up flying to the UK so much and meeting so many people that in the end it only made sense to move to London. Dirty Pretty Things had a tour booked starting two days after my moving day and we were gonna go to a few of the gigs. Then the day before I got on a plane they announced it would be their farewell tour, so we bought tickets for every single gig, which meant that I moved to the UK and then spent all of October, November, and half of December on tour… I didn’t start job hunting and thinking about real life until January lol

So yeah. Them. They’re my boys. As coined by the NME in their ‘sad to see them go’ article… “They were well fit and nice!”

What band/artist surprises you the most on your frequently listened to artists?

I’m ongoingly surprised by how much I managed to trick myself into liking Taylor Swift

Favourite line from a song (or one you have been thinking about lately?

Fame and Fortune by The Libertines

The deal was done, the trade was rough, Doubloons down for a double bluff, Dip your quill in your bleeding heart, Sign there and there and there

Guilty pleasure band or song?

I don’t believe in guilty pleasures.

Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch.

Okay let's talk fandom music:

Fave band or song you've discovered from a Fan Fic?

The Libertines lol My friend really wanted me to get into this band she liked, and I just wasn’t massively into music at the time, so she sent me a Libertines fanfic, and that, as they say, was that. Oh, she knew me very well… hahah

Fave Fanfic Playlist?

Right now I’m REALLY into The Menagerie playlist!

Fave Gallavich song?

Do you listen to music recommended by the writer or an included playlist? 

Almost always, yeah. Though sometimes that can go terribly wrong. When someone’s like OMG THIS SONG!!! and you’re just like ‘eh, I don’t see it’ lol

What song do you think is Gallavich coded?

Well, thanks to @deedala this will never not be Season 5 Gallavich

What’s a bop you want to share with your mutuals today? 

Love the original, but I also love Darren Criss

And this, because I’m dying for the next season of The Bear!!!!

Oooookay… I’m late and I’ve been way too busy, so if you’ve already played and I didn’t see please tag me in yours so I can check it out!! If not, and you’d like to do it, I’m tagging @heymacy @heymrspatel @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @palepinkgoat @vintagelacerosette @crossmydna @captainjowl @mikhailoisbaby @rereadanon @the-rat-wins @tsuga-of-mars @loftec @sickness-health-all-that-shit @deathclassic @rutherinahobbit @faejilly (you can skip the Gallavich questions!!! Hahahahah)

[heartsandsparksshipweek]

Do you know if anyone has made playlists for general Cybertronian / Human relationships? I've tried finding one on Spotiy but no luck.

I haven't tried looking for any myself, so I couldn't say. I do personally have a few different TF playlists, including a ship playlist, but that one is for all my big ships. I could see about putting such a playlist together. I'm not sure if you mean general as in "songs that could be applied to a variety of ships that fall in line with the theme" or "songs that do fit specific ships but could be used for general inspiration". Though I would imagine one could fit with the other.

Songs that I have picked for interspecies ships though:

Somewhere Out There from An American Tail (Seaspray/Alana)

Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe (Charlie Watson/Bumblebee)

Modern Woman by Billy Joel (Thundercracker/Marissa Fairebourn)

Livin' La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin (Powerglide/Astoria Carlton-Ritz)

Rock You Like a Hurricane by Scorpion (Skywarp/Rock n Roll)

The World Is Not Enough by Garbage (Swindle/Madeline Pynch)

Uptown Girl by Billy Joel (Tracks/Raoul)

I do always think that "She thinks my tractor's sexy" song would be a funny addition. Not sure who it'd fit for (resident cowgirl Charlene?), but I would snicker knowingly.

If anyone has ship songs or songs that have The Vibes, feel free to send them and I can put together a playlist for the event! Otherwise, it'll probably be mostly rock music, considering my tastes, hahah!

(Edited to include the Tracks/Raoul song)

[misssleepless12]

A03 Wrapped 2023 Edition

This is technically an ask game but I'm just gonna answer some of these here bc 2023 was a super big year for me in terms of how much I wrote!! And I'm just kinda proud of my silly self hehehe <3

How many works did you publish this year? 14! I wrote for four different fandoms! Blue Lock, Persona 3, PKMN Black and White, and PKMN Scarlet and Violet.

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? I've written so many things I'm proud of this year, but I'm gonna have to say riptide ! rnis in Rin's hometown of Kamakura, but I did sooo much research for it and put so much effort into it and then wrote it all in a three weeks in a massive brainrot streak hahah.

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? Ohhh god time to embarrass myself again but the Chainsmokers was my top artist of 2023 and I also used so many of their lyrics and songs for inspiration. As evidence above hahaha~

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? In terms of number of fics, it's rnis/rinsagi at 4! But in terms of word count, otkr/tabieita came from the back with the surprise win!

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? The surprise contender that was tabieita hahah

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? Haha, haha.... ha. I'm sitting at five fully started/outlined ones already... oh boy XD

What work was the quickest to write? Gold Star for Effort which took me like four hours djfndkj

What work took you the longest to write? Pull in Case of Bisexual Awakening at five and a half months!

Your favorite character to write this year? Otoya Eita, my beloved womanizing green noodle ninja hahah

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? Bris/ barousagi bug bit me recently so I know that wave of brainrot is coming!

Which work of yours have you reread the most? let's admit, without apology, what we do to each other .... my comfort fic

How many kudos in total did you get this year? 2,096! The most I've ever gotten in a single year and nearly half of what I've gotten altogether!

What do you listen to while writing? I have a bunch of character or ship playlists I made that I like to listen to! I also sometimes just throw rain sounds in the background too pfft.

Favorite work you wrote this year? Once again... Pull in Case of Bisexual Awakening! Literally changed the course of my year both in terms of my real life and my creative one writing that bad boy!

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? He is rawer, nowadays, somewhat like when Sae first rejected him but also not. ‘Somewhat’ because he still aches all the time, ‘not’ because he embraces it. All wound. No boy. No need for anyone to stem his bleeding because Rin’s at his best when he’s bleeding, when he can be obscene, when he can destroy. - from final boys

Biggest surprise while writing this year? That once I figured out a good process for going from idea-outline-actual writing to finished product, I was so impressed with the amount of writing I was actually capable of! I've always been a notoriously slow writer, which led to me not being able to post super often prior to 2023 But I really hammered out a writing process that works for me and I did the best I could with it I think! I hope to improve upon it this year and hopefully get a better handle of keeping my word counts in check too (chronic over-writer here dkjfndjk).

2023 was such a big wild year for my writing and I can only hope I keep up the energy in 2024. It was such a blast and I appreciate everyone who supported me through all the ups and downs!! <3

[the1975attheirverybest]

as a newly cancellee (is that a good term to say youve been cancelled) could you give me a quick interview:

How has this impacted your life and what has changed since?

How does it feel to beat Matty to the cancellation? Do you think Mr Healy will address you publicly now that you are his most serious competition?

Will you be hosting SNL?

What will you do to help the rest of us become good again being cancelled?

How does this affect your daily routine?

Will you make a playlist which elaborately describes your feelings?

Can you write a blurb based on this experience? Please say yes otherwise I will cancel you for *insert vaguely dumb reason*.

On a scale of 1-10 how annoying was this interview?

Will you be going on Hot Ones to talk about this experience?

Since the few hours that I have been cancelled? I’ve made t shirts that say “absolute cunt” I’m starting a merch business 😎 (you gotta capitalize on the notoriety right? In this capitalist society this is how I get my own reality tv show or whatever hahah)

I do expect Matty to go off on a rant about my win onstage. You know, Grammy rant style. He’ll probably say that unless and until I’ve been banned by two tyrannical governments and had my life threatened, this is really soft core cancelation. Which…fair enough. But I’m just getting started.

The only way I do SNL is if they let me read the weekend updates. I’m trying to win an invite to Collin Josh and Scarlett Johansson’s home for dinner.

HAHAHA listen Matty wrote “it was poorly handled the day we both got canceled cuz I’m a racist and you’re some kinda slag” for a reason. I think the blurb writes itself at this point!!

Are you kidding me?!! Not at all. The same and attention is already addicting.

I think I’m morally required as a middle eastern. We do love spicy things. Let me let you in on a secret. For the fans. I used to be immune to spiciness. American food has ruined me though I think I’m sensitive now :((( I think Hot Ones would make an interesting experience. Will I handle it? Will I shit myself? Stay tuned to find out!

[skitskatdacat63]

yes! i agree 1000%, their new sound just isn’t the same! i got really into them in middle school and bought every album (CDs at the time hahah)

i think ghost stories what the last one i bought, it was awesome to have them kinda “reconnect” with older styles (even though it was a sad reason)

my favorite songs from the first 3 albums have to beeeeee (AHHH SO HARD!!!)

i think from parachutes, don’t panic, shiver and we never change have a special place in my heart. from a rush of blood i gotta say green eyes, it’s too cute (although in my place was the first song i ever sang in front of an audience!). and from x&y is the hardest to decide, i like so many! mainly: x&y, a message, speed of sound!, swallowed in the sea, TIL KINGDOM COME!!!! AHHHHH

anyways sorry for the long long ask, i got too excited!!!

Nooooo don't apologize at all!!!! I absolutely love to talk about music :DDDD ty for letting me know your favs, I was curious bcs I'm so happy to see someone who loves those albums as much as I do!!! Omg I'm so jealous that you have all of them physically, that's so cool!

I'd have to say hmmmmm. Parachutes: Trouble, Sparks, Spies, and Shiver(Honestly I think Spies is sooooo underrated. I really deeply wish it was in a Bond movie, bcs clearly it's inspired by that, and aaaghh the daydreaming goes crazy.) Rush of Blood: Politik, Amsterdam, Warning Sign, Clocks(they're all so fun to sing to, aren't they??) X&Y: X&Y, The Hardest Part(I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! The last lyrics are my fav ever, I even put it in the tags of my original post 😭 they hit me so hard) Also lmao, I feel like most of the ones I listed are in my one main character playlist bcs I listened to Coldplay constantly when I made it, so they really do have a special place in my heart 🥺🥺

[picnokinesis]

Hello! I am back with more songs >:)

Caves from the main playlist

Epilogue from the teen playlist

Weave from the anterograde playlist

Heck yes >:D Also loving how, once again, you've picked one song that is like, THE SONG of the playlist, and then another where I'm like 'wait why did I put that one on again....' and then I relisten and I'm like oh. oh yeah.

Caves by Gregory Alan Isakov is one of THE earliest campervan au songs. I discovered it in about June 2020, and immediately wrote a scene for part 9 that has had ripple effects all the way back to part 3. I trust you all remember this part from Chapter 11 of Part 3, when the Doctor looks through the photos that were in the shoebox that Brax gave to her:

Compare this to the lyrics of Caves:

And I used to love caves Stumble out into that big sky Remember that bright hollow moon? Showed our insides on our outsides

This song is all about the Doctor and Koschei's childhood - in fact, the ONLY REASON the cave thing happens in the story is because of this song hahah. But it's also how much things have changed between them - this rift that now exists because of the Doctor's amnesia:

You go ahead There's something I forgot Walk slow and I'll catch up Let's hear the stars do their talking

And also:

Did I hear something break Was that your heart or my heart Like when the Earth shakes Then the silence that follows

The second one in particular is great because of the whole thing with the four taps - which, of course, in campervan au is meant to represent the Doctor's heartbeat and Koschei's together, one after the other. But the first one is almost like, I guess almost post-canon I guess - if these two could actually sit down and talk to each other about everything that happened, everything the Doctor has forgotten, they'd probably be able to reconcile somewhat. But emotions are far too intense for both of them. Koschei, like the Master in the show, has had his sense of identity completely shaken by the Doctor not being defined by him in the same way that he is defined by her. She's everything that he is, and his entire life is defined by her - in many ways literally, since he certainly wouldn't have gone to prison if it hadn't been for her, and even in [redacted] au where that doesn't happen, he still ends up dedicating his entire life to her in other ways. But she doesn't even remember him. (...the silence that follows...)

And then there's this part, which just makes me think of these two kids messing about, causing trouble around Skelmanthorpe, sneaking out to explore caves, and being able to just be with each other, not worrying about all the things that have hurt them and made them who they are, and being simply understood by each other without needing words.

This town closes down same time everyday Put out the smoke in your mind Let's put all these words away Lets put all these words away

Weave by Foxing is, I think, the first song by Foxing that I heard? Which is wild, because I'm obsessed with their later album (aka Draw Down the Moon, aka the most thoschei album of all time). Oh wait no, actually, I think it was possibly a different song on this same album that was recommended by spotify at the bottom of my anterograde au playlist. I remember that I liked the vibes but it didn't quite fit, so I went to listen to the rest of the album to see if there would be anything more suitable - only to find Weave, the first track, was absolutely perfect:

How have I been stuck here for so long?

In anterograde au, the Doctor can't feel time - she can't form new memories, so every day she wakes up, still thinking that it's late September 2018. She's stuck in that time and can't change that fact, and every day that fact becomes more and more disorientating. The more time that passes, the more jarring and obvious the loss of memory is.

Selling out an old soul for sales I am caught up in the guilt Making a living off of drowning Leaves me one step in the wrong Have I been stuck here for so long?

The other problem with her inability to feel time is her ability to heal. In the main au, the Doctor can't move on from what happened to her as a teenager because she doesn't remember it. In anterograde, she remembers it, but can't remember the healing itself. Koschei has a bit of a breakdown about this, when he realises that now she's always going to be trapped in this place of fear and confusion, and never going to be able to escape it. If you remember how much he wanted to save the Doctor from the analysis of the song Delilah, the idea of him failing to save her as a teenager is bad enough, but in this au, not only did he not save her now, she is now trapped in this place for the rest of her life, and that's like...the worst possible outcome, as far as he's concerned. Not only did he not save her, but he never will be able to save her. He can't fix it.

As it turns out, he's somewhat wrong about this. Pretty sure I said this when I was talking about The Funeral, but the Doctor DOES begin to heal, albeit slowly and albeit without her being consciously aware of it. But the brain remembers in other ways, and it's about two or so years in before someone points out that actually, the Doctor is more relaxed around Koschei that it clicks for him.

The winding love of life lost No longer haunted by the thought That every mark I make on emeralds are now One step in the wrong One step in the wrong One step in the wrong I’m alright, it’s time I moved on

Epilogue by The Antlers is a lot haha. I mean, this entire album is a lot, and means so much to campervan au, but this one in particular. I can't actually go too much into this one for the same reasons that I can't pull apart the song Two from the same album, but I'm just going to put these lyrics here and tell you to think about the Doctor's fear of hospitals, the way Koschei so desperately wants to save someone who won't let themselves be saved, the fact that the entire album uses this narrative of a hospice and the relationship between a nurse and a patient as a metaphor for abuse, and how both the Doctor and Koschei are constantly haunted by each other:

In a nightmare I am falling from the ceiling into bed beside you You're asleep I'm screaming, shoving you to try to wake you up And like before You've got no interest in the life you live when you're awake Your dreams still follow storylines Like fictions you would make So I lie down against your back Until we're both back in the hospital But now it's not a cancer ward We're sleeping in the morgue Men and women in blue and white They are singing all around you With heavy shovels holding earth You're being buried to your neck In that hospital bed Being buried quite alive now I'm trying to dig you out But all you want is to be buried there together

Oh, and this bit works for the main au, in the context of Koschei and the Doctor bed-sharing for ages until suddenly they weren't, but really it's for [redacted] because it's painfully accurate:

I've woken up, I'm in our bed But there's no breathing body there beside me Someone must have taken you while I was stuck asleep But I know better as my eyes adjust You've been gone for quite awhile now

ALSO! This part ends up creeping into my writing so much. I actually think it ended up in Ruth's chapter?

But you return to me at night Just when I think I may have fallen asleep Your face is up against mine And I'm too terrified to speak

Yep, it was in Ruth's chapter from Part 6 Chapter 22 (Postscript II) - but I've definitely used this for thoschei too, and I'll bet it's around somewhere in campervan au. It just might be in a scene that's on my excerpts document that never sees the light of day rip. But this album by The Antlers is important to Ruth's backstory too, as well as thoschei's, so the parallel here is very intentional

[daisyvisions]

Some questions for you. Just for fun. No obligation to answer any of these.~ <3

1) What’s the funniest comment someone has left on a fic of yours?

2) What music do you listen to when you write?

3) What time of day do you prefer to write?

4) What is one fic idea that you loved at first but then scrapped?

5) What’s the dumbest thing you’ve written?

6) Have you ever made yourself cry writing a fic?

7) What’s one trope you wouldn’t write, except for money?

8) Do you drink anything when you write? Coffee, tea, alcohol, etc?

9) What is the fic you’re most proud of?

10) What is your fave fic from another writer?

11) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve been inspired by?

12) What’s one genre you’ve never written that you’d like to try?

13) What is the WIP that you are most excited about?

14) Do you have any words/phrases you use habitually? 

15) What grammar mistakes do you always make?

16) Is there a comment of feedback that stands out to you amongst the rest? One that you think of often, remember the clearest, etc.

17) What advice would you give yourself of the past in regards to writing, planning, running the blog, etc?

18) Who is your favourite member to write for and why?

I wanna cry… I've been waiting for someone to ask me a bunch of shit like these tbh HAHAHA OKAY:

What’s the funniest comment someone has left on a fic of yours?

➺ oh man, there’s so many! I can’t seem to recall one that stood out the most BUT readers who comment their fave part always get me because sometimes it’s not even a part I would think someone would get affected by haha! 😆

What music do you listen to when you write?

➺ I definitely like listening to instrumental music specifically asian lo-fi hip hop playlists OR Lana Del Rey’s West Coast but instrumental on repeat mainly because I can never focus on writing when the song has lyrics ✨

What time of day do you prefer to write?

➺ I try either afternoon or after dinner before I sleep! Usually times when I find myself alone and unbothered.

What is one fic idea that you loved at first but then scrapped?

➺ Ooh interesting… I think it was during my Kinktober 2023, I had intended a stripper!au for a member but whenever I would try to think of a basic idea for it, nothing came out so I ultimately scrapped it

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve written?

➺ It was one of my asks for Sunwoo, wherein he times on his phone how fast he can make his girl c*m HAHAHA I looked at it a week or two ago and I just went “…what?” HAHAH 🤣

Have you ever made yourself cry writing a fic?

➺ Sad yes, but cry? not yet! haha mostly me trying to create dialogue in my head and the moment I feel the angsty coming in I just know it’s good (to me at least)

What’s one trope you wouldn’t write, except for money?

➺ not even for money but I can never get behind writing idol!au’s (which is ironic) because I guess it seems too personal to write? vs a made up au and all lol

Do you drink anything when you write? Coffee, tea, alcohol, etc?

➺ coffee when it’s an afternoon writing session OR alcohol when I really need to zone in on writing at night!

What is the fic you’re most proud of?

➺ Hate is a Strong Word series, because it was one of the first that I've done and especially for part 1, the scene wherein they were in the closet, that was in my mind for ages, the one scene that started the story, I saw it come to life through words and I was incredibly proud of myself for that!

➺ Other honorable mentions would probs be my camboy!Haknyeon fic, Screw It In Tight, Forget About It, Not Part of the Mission, generally most of my sangyeon fics bcos I’m biased, and of course my very first fic Dirty Little Secret hehe

What is your fave fic from another writer?

➺ I will die on a hill for Get F*cked by kyufiber, I can't stress that enough and was probably one of the fics that made me start liking hyunjae too

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve been inspired by?

➺ Hmm, I can’t say I’ve ever been inspired by something weird! I usually get inspired through sharing ideas / scenario’s with friends, music, or anything nsfw that might pop up on my twitter!

What’s one genre you’ve never written that you’d like to try?

➺ Definitely Royal / Historical AU’s! Setting the tone, the scenery, the research for proper timeline accuracy, I would like to go through that process someday!

What is the WIP that you are most excited about?

➺ I’ve had this idea / outline of a summer series I've been wanting to push out since last year (involving 5 members 👀), it’s nowhere near a WIP but it’s one thing I’m super excited to write about when I get the chance!

➺ but if it was a strict WIP, most like the WIP I’ve got for Jacob coming soon!

Do you have any words/phrases you use habitually?

➺ It’s always gonna be those transition phrases like “as soon as” “instead” and etc that I'm guilty of using akjsdnkajsnd 😭

What grammar mistakes do you always make?

➺ run on sentences…..

Is there a comment of feedback that stands out to you amongst the rest? One that you think of often, remember the clearest, etc.

➺ If we’re talking about one comment, there was one that I still remember the most mainly because the feedback was negative and it didnt make sense to me because I literally wrote a warning on the fic and the person did not see that and proceeded to make the comment when the premise of the story is meant to have a dark tone… 😪 (and I guess I wasnt really in a mood that day so maybe it stuck too because it kinda ticked me off lol)

What advice would you give yourself of the past in regards to writing, planning, running the blog, etc?

➺ Just keep doing outlines, don’t focus on perfecting it. Don’t get too caught up with word count too!

Who is your favourite member to write for and why?

➺ Y’know what? Changmin! At first I just wrote for him normally but when I look back at all the fics I've written so far, his always are the ones I had the most fun writing and in my opinion are some of my personal best!

Thank you so much for sending these in! Seriously I've always wanted to answer questions like these and when I saw this ask I couldn't wait to sit down and write out my answers as soon as I got home! hehe 🤭

[kittenwalker]

Kit walker imagine request!! Where reader is a nurse and she and kit have a very strong connection that they’ve been hiding, not necessarily acting on but is definitely there and when all hell breaks loose, it’s the reader that steps in front of Kit taking the bullet. Kinda mix things up a bit (don’t have to follow storyline obvs hahah) and the guard who shot her runs off and so Kit goes to reader and holds her, they admit their feelings for the other and she apologizes for not being able to get him out of there, basically whisper sweet nothings as reader passes in his arms, then the after effects on Kit — the anger and hatred that grows for the place and basically he vows to get out and end that hospital once and for all in the name of the reader I KNOW IT SEEMS BRUTAL SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH you definitely don’t have to if you don’t like writing angst but chica your writing for Kit is fan friggin tastic

note : I made some changes hope that's fine, also when i read this i already wanted to cry. This is cruel😡 ( kidding ) I really did enjoy writing this. This might also be the first time i wrote something sad😮.

playlist I recommend playing while reading to get the feels : song

Y/n was working as a nun in the Briarcliff asylum just so she could get some money before finding a better job. She was one of the more caring and kind nuns because she thinks the patients are not being properly treated. All of the sisters, including Jude, hated her; they all thought she was young and not doing her job right. Due to that, she has not been given the title of being a ‘ sister ‘ even though she is a nun working there. Working in the asylum was pretty boring for Y/n as she always just did the same tasks like giving out medicine or food, and checking the inmates regularly. Until a special someone was admitted here.

You first saw him in the common room and to you, he seemed perfectly normal, so why was he somewhere he didn't look like he belonged? Wanting to find out more about him, you initiated a conversation. Sitting down on a chair opposite him seemed to snap him out of his tranquil state.

“ Sooo, what unholy sin did you commit to being placed here? “ you said getting straight to the point

“ That’s the thing sista’, I didn’t do nothing “ he looked very passionate about trying to prove his innocence

“ Yea I figured, I’ve seen insane and you’re not one of them. Y/n Y/l/n “ you said extending your hand

“ Kit, Kit walker “ he replied, hesitantly shaking your hand

After that first interaction with him, you two have been getting closer. So comfortable with each other he would sometimes jokingly flirt with you. He was definitely your favourite person here, Kit would make jokes and talk to you at any opportunity he had. Sometimes you would even sneak in extra food for him. You were falling for him to be completely honest, you hoped to get out of here and have a future with him.

Kit also told you the true reason why he was here in the first place and after hearing that he has been framed, you were more determined to get him out of this hell hole. Luckily for you, you already knew a way to escape.

It was during lights out when you were doing your night duty to check if everyone was in their cell before sleeping yourself. Only you had night duty because all the other nuns just wanted to sleep, not caring about whether or not they escaped. Surprisingly, you saw Sister Mary-Eunice roaming around the halls having a worried expression. You decided to follow her as she seemed to look suspicious. Sister was walking very fast, swerving into corners, and closing doors behind her. Already being so far into this, you just continued stalking her. You hid behind a wall seeing sister going through a tunnel, a gust of wind passing you. ‘ That's weird, this asylum is pretty enclosed so why is there such a strong wind? ‘ your conscience questioned you. Taking a peek, you saw an open exit leading to the woods. ‘ Holy shit, I can finally get Kit outta here ', smiling wide to yourself as you scurried back to your room to plan out the escape for tomorrow.

-

You woke up extra early today so you could sneak into Kit’s cell and discuss the plan with him. Getting into your nun’s habit, patting it down to flatten it. Quietly walking through the halls of cells, you reached Kit’s and jiggled the right key to his cell. Opening the metal door as it squeaks, making Kit jerk up awake. You walked towards him and sat down on his bed, facing him.

“ What are you doing here doll? “ Kit whispered his pet name for you sluggishly

“ Kit listen up alright, I know a way out of here “ as soon as you spoke those words you felt Kit’s eyes bling up in excitement.

“ I’m listening “ he motioned his hand for you to continue

“ There’s a tunnel that leads you to the woods. I saw Sister Mary-Eunice going through it last night. Kit this is your chance to escape tonight, you have to do it alright? “

He stared into your eyes like he was searching for something. Slowly he leaned in and gently kissed you, this kiss wasn’t filled with passion or hunger. It was soothing and tender, full of love and sweetness. Your lips melted together like he was the missing puzzle piece to your uncompleted picture. This kiss just proved to you that you can still see the world with your eyes closed. You felt like Kit was the one.

Kit broke the kiss and pulled you to his lap

“ Thank you Y/n, I really am grateful but how about you? How are you getting out? “ he asked holding onto your waist tightly

“ I’m going to quit, we could maybe run away together and live our happy ending. Only if you’d like to “ you smiled ear to ear, excited for your future with him.

“ Do not underestimate the imaginations I have with you doll, some are a little dirty “ He confessed smirking

You gasped and softly hit his arm

“ Naughty Kit “ You chuckled

“ Y/n! Where are you? It’s time to serve breakfast! “ Hearing Sister Jude’s voice echo through the halls, you quickly got off Kit's lap. Giving him one last peck, you hurried off to find Jude.

“ See you later tonight here Kitten “ you smirked before closing his cell door

-

Tonight was the night, you were going to break Kit out. Hopefully, it will be a success and you can get him out safely. You sneaked into Kit’s cell while you were doing your stroll around the cells. Feeling two hands wrapped around your hips, making you jump.

“ Relax doll, It’s just me “ he laughed, kissing your shoulder blades

“ Kit no time to fool around, we need to get you out of here fast and swiftly “ whispering as you pulled him out, leading the way.

“ You’re no fun doll “ Kit frowned

“ Oh don’t worry, we can have all the fun after we’re outta here,” you said. pulling Kit’s chin to face you

“ You better keep your promise suga “

-

Reaching the tunnel, you walked through its long body. Excited for Kit to finally breathe fresh air and have some freedom. You were almost there as you could see the moonlight reflecting onto the floor. ‘ Come on just a couple more steps ‘ you urged yourself

5 steps left

4….

3…

2..

1.

“ We finally escaped Y/n! “ Kit screamed, dancing in the drizzle of rain pouring down.

“ Oh how it feels nice to breathe fresh air again “ you dramatically breathed in the muddy air

“ I have a car nearby! I can drive you home, let’s go! “ you screamed through the rain as it got heavier.

Kit smiled and roughly kissed you, tightly holding onto your cheeks. This kiss was to celebrate the victory of escaping and starting a greater, better future. Oh, but were you so wrong.

Walking hand in hand through the forest, you heard some rustling. Thinking it was just some animal in the bushes, you ignored it. Immediately regretting not running instead, as a disfigured and mutilated monster came up from behind. Starting to chase after you, like it was a hungry animal and you’re going to be its first meal.

“ RUN BACK Y/N! “ picking up your feet and running as fast as possible.

You had no time to panic right now even if you felt like rolling up into a ball and going into a corner. Just wanting it all to stop, why can’t you have a normal shot in life? Almost reaching back to the tunnel with Kit trailing behind you as the storm brews up even more as if the thunder and lightning are a warning to run faster. You did, running so fast that your legs felt like they were hanging on by a thread.

Stopping in the tunnel to catch your breath, thinking the therianthropic form may have gone back home instead of following you all the way here. Nope wrong again, turning behind you saw the monster closer to you now and Kit yelling for you to not stop running. Honestly, you just wanted to collapse on the floor and get eaten by that creature, but you kept on moving those legs for Kit. Closing doors and pushing laundry baskets in the beast’s way so it would be slowed down, buying you both time. But it was no use, when you reached the bakery it was right in front of your face. Plunging straight at you, ducking down you thought this was it. But you didn’t feel anything come at you, opening up your eyes, you saw Kit in front of you. Stabbing a dough-mixing attachment into the creature’s stomach, gauging out its organs.

Before you knew it, you heard a gunshot. You saw Frank standing at the edge of the stairs, aiming a gun at Kit and a bullet flying towards him. ‘ No, nonono NO ‘ your thoughts spoke. Returning the favour of Kit saving you, you jumped in front of him. Making you get shot instead, but it was better this way as Kit now still has a chance at life. Not with you but you just wanted him to be happy, and happy doesn’t necessarily have to be you even if you wished for it to be.

The bullet went straight into your heart, making blood spill everywhere. Seeing that Frank has shot you, he got scared and scurried away. Kit’s eyes widened and he hurried to your side, picking you up and holding you to his chest. He put pressure onto your wound so you wouldn’t bleed out so fast, but there was no changing reality. You were going to die. Removing Kit’s now bloody hand and placing a weak peck on it.

“ Kit there’s no use, I’m going to die and it’s for the greater good. “ you tried smiling weakly

“ No, not this way, please. There has to be some other way “ Kit cried, a waterfall streaming down his face.

“ Kit please promise me that you'd move on and find your true love. Be happy with her and start a family together, I don’t want to be the reason you mentally stopped living alright? “

“ You are my love Y/n! That ‘her’ is supposed to be y-you “ Kit shouted, choking on his sobs.

“ Come on Kitten, it’s not going to be me. Before I g-go, I want y-you to know that I’m really s-sorry for not getting you out and that I never saw you the way o-others did. Bloody face, murderer, I always thought you were k-kind and ca-aring. Kit you don’t understand h-how hard I fell for you because my love for you is higher than words, I decided to fall silently. “ you poured out your soul, starting to struggle to breathe.

“ Nononono, stay with me doll, please. I love you too much Y/n, you were my chance to start a life please if you leave you are going to take that life with you as well “

“ Then let another woman give you back that life Kit “ you mumbled as you held his wet cheek

He leaned down, giving you one last kiss; just like the first kiss you shared. It wasn’t rushed, it was filled with warmth and endearment. Instead of this kiss meaning a symbol of starting a new future together, this was goodbye.

“ I love you Kit “

“ I love you Y/n “

As you heard his words, your arm went limp and dropped from his cheek. With his words of devotion, your soul felt like it could leave peacefully now.

“ NOOOO “ Kit screamed as more tears joined his dried up ones

He continued holding onto you tightly and staying beside you, hugging you closely. Kit couldn’t accept that you died right there and then in his arms. But you died loved, and that’s all you’ve ever wanted. A true feeling of love.

“ I’m going to shut down Briarcliff Manor in the name of you doll, I promise “ he whispered, putting a kiss on your pale cheek.

[captain-hawks]

Ok I can't find it anymore but re: your post about writing a suna fic to the lyrics of a song that felt very him. I'm not very lyrically inclined, I tend to soak in melodies moreso than lyrics unless I'm paying attention on purpose, but for some reason that one song "i like the way you kiss me" by artemas is suna incarnate to me. I think the kinda shitty, modern pop made-for-shortform-content synth also ties into it bc or how chronically online/on his phone suna is. I don't really have song associations with any other characters, but for some reason this stuck in my brain.

Also unrelated but also in a suna thread, I had such a crack thought last night while I was half-cursed-awake rereading all your spicy weekend fics for commentary. I imagined suna peeking over the garden wall like my fave pigeon gif peeping on kita/reader and then dying mad that this is yet *another* thing kita is effortlessly good at 💀why is suna such a simultaneously crack character in my mind but someone I can be v horny for?

(This is also the suna-pigeon in my head trying to steal the security footage from onigiri miya from ur atsumu fic lmao)

i love that i just started to touch on this in another ask!! the irony<3. i'm definitely really big on getting inspired by lyrics. but there are also songs that lyrically don't fit at all, and i just end up vibing on the unrelated feeling the instrumental parts tug out of me, too. (fun fact i've had one song on a playlist for a fic idea for over a year because the beat of it was on point, but TODAY! i was listening very closely and realized that it is, indeed, not at all the least bit romantic. not even close. oop.)

but you're so right about that song for suna???? like it just FEELS like the vibe of some messy, emotional situation with him. very on board with this obversation.

HAHAH the versatility of suna as a character in fic form is unmatched. like he fits as a perfect catalyst in ridiculous situations but also i'm down so bad take anything you want thanks??? THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIM. i'm weak.

(that gif is ALSO him in my head because he's been waiting so long for me to write him)

[chodzacaparodia]

🌵🍄🥤🎲🪐🥐🦋☁️🌸 some more if you have free time ofc

Hiii <3 I will always find time to answer questions (usually with a slight delay, but I will always answer them lmao) 🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

I really like this Shinso Hitoshi Kin/Simp playlist

(and this is longer, spotify version of this playlist)

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Maybe Hiorin this time?

Hiori and Rin like spending time together at home, watching movies (horror movies) and playing games together (not only do they play the same game together, but they also play alone, but next to each other). But apart from that, they like to go to haunted houses together or visit places that are believed to have paranormal activity. Rin not only likes horror movies, but is interested in paranormal phenomena, and Hiori, who became fascinated with Rin's hobby, suggested such trips to him. Hiori pretends to be scared and hugs Rin, asking him to protect him, and Rin, knowing he's joking, calls him an idiot and hugs him too.

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

Maybe Sakuatsu fic this time?

People Will Say We Are in Love by tirralirra

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? 

ME LMAO Seriously, it's my fault that I browse YouTube, tumblr, ao3, manga, books, Facebook, everything when I should be writing

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I still have almost a week of vacation!!! Man, how I love having time off from work! And I can sleep little longer

Sooo I have time for my family and friends! Today I'm supposed to meet my friend! As long as these temperatures don't melt us sooner

Suo Hayato and Newt. My beloved characters. I'm in the middle of reading "Wind Breaker" and I just finished "Crank Palace" by James Dashner and will be starting "The Maze Cutter". I love these guys with all my heart. And now I've fallen into the Newtmas hole hahah

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

🥰🥰🥰

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

I once got an ask about my username and I answered it here

But basically song "Therapy" by All Time Low made me choose my username ♡

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

This is JJ!!!

Have a nice day! 💖

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

[morning-star-joy]

I've been reading ASHWAH over on ao3 for the last week, omg Doni (can i call you doni? lol) I can't put it down. I can't even read any other fics hahah Your writing is so amazing, it makes me feel all the feels <3 MC slowly peeling back her layers of grief and how letting someone else into that vulnerable corner of her mind is helping her agsas;kajsgd

Because even if you couldn’t bear the thought of losing it, you also couldn’t bear the thought of not holding on to it now. 

What was the fucking point of all this love, all this life, if the only thing you could think about was dying for it?

Maybe resigning yourself to that fate of dying for them, dying before them, wasn’t enough anymore.

Maybe instead of being committed to leaving them for that final act of love, you should dedicate yourself to coming home to them instead.

This part, it gutted me.

I could ramble on and on about everything, but I'll leave it at this. Thank you so much for putting this out in the world!

Ps. I also l o v e the playlists (#swiftielananationrise)

omg hi!!!!! thank you so much for sending me this, I live off of people's reactions to my fics haha and I'm so happy it's made you feel all the feels <3 the ASHWAH MC is very close to my heart so I'm always overjoyed when people care about her and her story. also SO giddy you love the playlists!!! I love making them hehe!