#i made so many tasty fucking choices

[theragethatisdesire]

three's a... - jean kirschstein x afab!reader x eren jaeger - 18+!!!

i feel like i have mentioned the possibility of giving y'all an erejean threesome way too many times to keep holding out on you, so now that i've finally nitpicked this fic to death, here we are!! literally living my dreams vicariously through this fic. i'm still not 100% happy with it, but eren and jean are sexy here and are doing half of the work of making this worth the read for me lolol. it's also written mostly through jean's pov which was interesting to play with.

pairing: eren jaeger x reader x jean kirschstein

wc: 6.5k

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

CWs: smut, consensual hook-up, threesome, established relationship (eren's ur perfect bf and u guys can't stop having sex with jean lol), unprotected sex, oral sex (male receiving), face fucking, rough sex, vaginal fingering, degradation, biting, dirty talk, penetrative vaginal sex, anal (fingering and fucking), swearing, use of names (slut, brat, pretty girl, good girl, angel), mean dom eren vs soft dom jean, multiple orgasm, dacryphilia/crying, creampie, double penetration, bicurious jean and bicurious eren (tasty, they definitely don't keep their hands to themselves), polyamory implied

buckle up, this was a blast to write and i hope it's equally as fun to read. enjoy <33

-

Jean should definitely not be here.

He should absolutely not be on his living room couch with Eren Jaeger’s girlfriend’s head in his lap, playing idly with her hair. By all traditional conventions and rules of exclusive relationships, Jean’s fairly sure that letting your girlfriend rest her head on the crotch of your roommate while he strokes her hair is on the no-no list. Not for Eren, apparently, who has your feet in his lap on the other end of the couch, playing with your toes absentmindedly and making you giggle and kick him in protest. Jean should not be here, but you and Eren have made a habit of roping him into circumstances that he would never admit to, not even at gunpoint.

If Jean is brutally, painfully honest with himself, he knows he had gotten himself into this. You were just so cute, wisping around their apartment in a big tshirt and tiny shorts in the mornings, always making sure to save him a cup of coffee. Maybe he had let his lingering glances linger just a little too long, smirked over his coffee mug at you one too many times, come up behind you to help you reach something on the top shelf and leaned a little too close, Jean couldn’t pinpoint exactly what caused Eren to notice his clear attraction towards you, but he did. Instead of getting his ass kicked like he had expected when you and Eren sat down to confront him, Jean had learned something.

Eren Jaeger has a greedy, spoiled brat of a girlfriend.

That had been the first time Jean came in you, fucking into your throat while Eren watched from across the room, palming over the bulge in his jeans. The second time, the two of you had invited Jean out for a drink, which, in hindsight, he should have seen the ulterior motive from a mile away. He had ended up cumming in your pussy, bending you over in the bar bathroom with Eren’s cock in your mouth. The third time had been in Eren’s bedroom as you rode him, Eren sitting behind you and working your hips over Jean’s cock as you wailed.

Jean had stopped his ministrations in your hair as he was reflecting on how exactly he got into this situation, trying very hard not to think too far into the filthy details to prevent propping your head up with an erection. You make a little noise of discontent, grabbing at his hands and urging them back to your hair.

“Jean, don’t stop. Feels good.”

Jean’s mouth tightens into a thin line at your choice of words, words he’s heard from you before under very different circumstances, but he obliges. So much for self control. Eren raises a smug eyebrow at him from across the couch.

“You’re giving her what she wants, right, Kirschtein?”

Jesus, you two are insatiable, still managing to grate on Jean’s razor-thin willpower with all of your clothes on. Jean wonders briefly what the appeal is for Eren, if he gets off on watching you take another man’s cock, bring another man near to tears with your warm, silken cunt. Does Eren enjoy dangling you in front of Jean until he’s forced to give in? Eren’s gaze lingers on Jean’s hands, threading through your hair, awaiting an answer.

“Yeah,” Jean says, not trusting any more words to his loose lips. They’ve already betrayed him three times now, saying yes when they should have been saying no.

“Good,” Eren responds simply, offering a small smile that, to anyone else, looks innocent. Jean knows Eren better than that. He watches as Eren’s hand travels up your bare leg, coming to rest on your upper thigh. You’re affected by it, such a simple touch, such a sensitive little body; he can feel you tense over his thighs.

Jean steels his jaw and forces his eyes back over to the movie. He’s got to stop playing these fucked up games of yours, it’s bad for him and he knows it. He hasn’t dated in months, not since you’d first pulled him into your little world, can’t bring himself to look at anyone else, can’t stand the thought of feeling anyone else’s skin under his fingers. His little crush has bloomed into full-blown lovesickness, and it would be best for him if he just stopped.

All of that ironclad willpower melts away in an instant when you let out a little moan.

Eren’s hand has snuck its way up to your shorts, nudging at the apex of your thighs. His focus is still trained on whatever reality show you’ve put on, completely ignoring the way you sigh under his touch. Jean’s cock twitches in his pants; this is his opportunity to hesitate, to say no, but he stays silent, only watching as you squirm in his lap.

“Eren,” your chastisement comes out as a breath. One of your hands comes to meet Eren’s, trying to push him away, but he simply swats your hand, shooting you a stern look.

“Behave,” Eren warns, eyes dark and dangerous. Jean’s learned that Eren’s mean to you, snappy when you put on your little attitude and fight back, but Jean doesn’t have the willpower. He holds you gently while he fucks into you hard, gives you anything you ask for.

You bite your lip and turn your head back to the TV, one hand coming up to pull Jean’s away from your head, wrapping your fingers around his. Jean’s breath hitches in his throat when you squeeze tight, back arching like you’re holding back a moan; Eren’s worked his way into your panties now, rubbing little circles over your clit.

“Look, Jaeger,” Jean makes a half-hearted attempt to remove himself, pulling his hand from yours and making all the movements to suggest he’s going to stand up, “I should–”

“What?” Eren cocks his head, as casual as if they’re discussing the weather. “Look at her, you really gonna just leave her there like that while I’m teasing her?”

Against his better judgment, Jean flicks his eyes down towards you. It’s a pitiful sight, your eyes already glossed over and staring up at him, wide and pleading, your bottom lip tucked in tight between your teeth.

“Jean,” his name comes out of your mouth, broken and already heady with arousal. That’s what snaps his resolve clean in two. You need him.

“What is it?” Jean hates the fondness in his voice, so glaringly obvious in front of your fucking boyfriend. Eren doesn’t seem to mind, though; he picks up speed, making you wriggle impatiently.

“Wanna kiss,” you whimper, reaching up towards his face.

“Don’t,” Eren stops Jean from leaning down, “she’s been bad today.”

“Is that so?” Jean rubs a thumb over your lips, frowning down at you. He can see the guilt in the way your brows knit together; oh, you have been bad, and you know it.

“Wouldn’t stop begging me for you, wanted to snuggle with Jeanie,” Eren raises his voice to mock you, slapping a hand against your clit and making you jump.

Jean’s face burns; is this it? Is this finally Eren telling him that you’re off-limits, finally deciding that Jean’s had his fill? And he’s going to rub it in his face by torturing you on Jean’s lap?

“Tell him,” Eren demands, another sharp smack landing on your cunt.

“Didn’t want to wait t-til you got home,” your face is already blotchy, eyes clouded with shame, “wanted Eren to text you and make you leave work.”

“And what did I say?”

“Be patient,” your voice wavers, Jean’s heart pounds in his ears, “and Jean would come take care of me.”

“So needy,” Eren tuts down at you, cruelly shoving a finger into your wet heat and instantly removing it, drawing a breathy whine from you, “see?”

Eren’s offering his finger to Jean, shining with slick, eyebrows lifted insistently. Jean narrows his eyes, cocks his head. What game is he playing at?

“What, don’t want a taste?” Eren’s eyes glint in the low light, taunting him. Jean leans forward hesitantly, lets the other man slide a thick finger between his lips. You always taste so good, salty and tangy; Jean feels a groan rumble deep in his chest. The corner of Eren’s mouth curls ever so slightly. Whatever game he’s playing, Jean’s losing. “Touch her, but no kisses. She has to behave if she wants that.”

You pout, bottom lip still wobbling where you’ve pushed it out, but you arch your back a little, straining your tits against your tank top. Jean knows you well enough by now, knows you chose that thin little top and didn’t wear a bra just for him, just to tempt him. You have been bad, but Jean doesn’t care, could never care when you’re looking up at him all sweet and needy. But he knows better than to disobey Eren’s rules, for your sake. Eren will edge you for the rest of the night, make himself cum, and leave you out to dry.

“Jean, please–”

“Sh,” Jean shushes you, sits you up just a little so he can pull your tank top over your head, “I’ve gotcha. Just be good for us, alright?”

You nod and smile drunkenly as he cups your breasts, kneading your nipples between his fingers. They’re one of his favorite things about you; he can’t resist leaning down to place sloppy, open-mouthed kisses along your hot skin, lick around your nipples just light enough to tease. Maybe Jean can be a little mean too.

“More,” you gasp, fingers coming to clutch at his head, “more, I– oh!”

Jean’s eyes flit down your body to see Eren’s now got two long fingers shoved knuckle-deep in you, curling them fast enough to make you cry out, roll your hips up towards him. If he looks closely, he can see a wet patch forming on the crotch of your shorts; it makes his cock throb. He’s never met a woman that gets as wet as you, filthy at the slightest touch.

“You’re so messy,” Jean voices his mind without exactly meaning to, pulling himself from you so he can prop you up against his chest and let you look at the mess you’ve made. You give him a little whine of protest, tilting your chin up towards him, searching for his mouth.

“Please, I want–”

“I know what you want,” Jean thumbs at your lip, “he’s mean, isn’t he? Making you behave yourself when all you want is a little love, isn’t that right?”

“Mhm,” you manage to shoot a scathing glare at Eren that makes Jean chuckle, makes Eren smack your thigh hard enough to echo throughout the room.

“Stupid little slut,” Eren growls, moving his fingers faster, “you’re just all about Jean because he spoils you, aren't you? Someone has to make sure you behave yourself.”

Jean’s eyes widen; Eren’s clearly in a mood today, and Jean hopes it doesn’t have anything to do with his presence. Eren’s a mixed bag most times. Jean’s overheard him making soft, quiet love to you, little praises slipping out from the crack in his bedroom door, but Jean’s also watched Eren edge you to the point of tears, spit on your cunt, spank you until you bruise. Maybe Eren’s jealousy finally is getting the better of him, Jean thinks, maybe he just can’t say no to your insatiable appetite, and he is actually pissed that you had begged him for Jean.

“Jean,” you’re clutching at his shirt, moaning pathetically as Eren sucks harsh bites into your thighs.

“Did it to yourself,” Jean shakes his head at you sadly, “you know better than to make him mad.”

“Shut her up,” Eren nods his head at your mouth meaningfully, “I’ve heard enough out of her for today.”

It takes some awkward repositioning, but Jean’s able to pull his cock out, tap it against your tongue where you’ve already got your mouth hanging open, drool pooling on his lap under your cheek.You shove yourself up with some effort, and take Jean almost to the hilt on your first go, slurping lewdly around him. Jean nearly chokes.

“Oh, you are needy today,” he hisses, threading his fingers through your hair, making sure his view remains unobstructed. “That what you wanted? My cock in your throat?”

You manage a stiff nod around him in between the muffled moans you’re letting out around his cock; Eren’s added his thumb to the mix now, pulling your panties to the side so he can swipe at your clit.

“She was fuckin’ drooling for it earlier,” Eren says, meeting Jean’s eyes with a smirk, “should have seen her, all pouty and sad because her Jeanie wasn’t here. Pathetic.”

In the small part of Jean’s brain that’s still able to think rationally with his cock nudging at your gag reflex, he’s frowning in confusion. Eren is pissed at you because you were begging for Jean, and here he is spurring Jean on in fucking into your throat. It makes no fucking sense, really, but Jean’s getting his dick sucked, and not for the first time, by the woman he’s been pining after for months, so who is he to question it?

“Mmph!” You squeal, mouth too full to form a real sound, hips canting up violently towards Eren. Eren laughs, low and cruel.

“Aw, I think she’s gonna cum soon,” Eren pulls his fingers from you, a tear slips down your cheek. “Pity.”

Your cry of protest is whimpered by Jean standing up slightly, angling his hips to plunge as deep as he can. He’s only had his cock in your mouth a few times, but Jean’s intuitive. He knows how much you can take, knows exactly how far to push you before it’s too much.

“Don’t whine, baby,” Jean huffs, “just gonna make him more mad. He won’t let me help you if you don’t behave.”

“Look at you,” Eren runs his hands along your thighs, leans down to press a chaste kiss over where you’ve ruined your shorts, “being a good girl for us. S’that what it takes for you to behave? Need both of us?”

If Jean’s not mistaken, the garbled sound you make around him is one of agreement. The thought goes straight between his legs, brings him far closer to the edge than he’d like to be at this point. He pulls your mouth off of him, making you pout.

“But–”

“I know, I know, you want it,” Jean rubs an affectionate thumb over your cheek, “but you want me to fuck you, too, right?”

“Please,” you breathe, reaching down to wiggle your shorts off. Eren’s face lights up.

“Wanna show him your little surprise, baby?” Eren’s tugging at your shorts now, ripping them off and tossing them to the sides. He puts his hands under your arms, yanking you out of Jean’s lap and throwing your chest over his shoulders. When Eren’s hands come to your cheeks, spreading them so Jean can see, Jean’s heart nearly stops. There’s a little pink rhinestone glittering where your asshole should be– a plug, keeping you open and ready. Eren meets Jean’s eyes, daring. “She picked it out just for us. Want us both, don’t you? Nasty little thing.”

Eren punctuates his statement with a grin and a sharp slap to your ass that makes you jump, nod desperately from behind him. Jean reaches a cautious hand over, puts two fingers around the toy and pulls lightly, just enough to watch it move in you. You whine; he can see your empty cunt flutter.

“Can she take it? Both of us?”

“Oh yeah,” Eren brushes off Jean’s concern, “been using all her little toys for weeks, making me practice with her. She can take it.”

With that, Jean’s standing, padding into his room and knowing Eren’s following with you still tossed over his shoulder. His head spins; you, his precious little toy, have been stretching yourself out, getting yourself ready to have two cocks in you? The thought nearly makes Jean moan to himself, imagining how tight you’ll be all stuffed full.

Eren’s thrown you on the bed none too gently, stripping as you look up at him, hearts in your eyes. He stops midway through pulling his clothes off to grab your chin, offer your pleading gaze to Jean.

“Why don’t you ask him, hm?” Eren coos, looking between you and Jean with a filthy grin on his face. “Ask him again, see if you’ve been good.”

“Will you kiss me, Jean? Please?” Your voice has that thin, fucked out tone to it that drives Jean crazy, makes him want to make you cry.

“Yeah princess, I’ll kiss you.” He leans down, takes your soft mouth in his, Eren never releasing his hold on your chin. Jean can taste himself on your tongue, smiling appreciatively at the salty tang. Eren rips you away far too soon, pressing his mouth down on you far rougher than Jean had. They balance each other well, Jean thinks, the gentle caresses and the sharp slaps that make you come undone under them in a way neither of them can manage alone.

“On your knees, brat,” Eren sneers, the shred of tenderness that he’d grabbed your face with long-gone, “convince us to fuck you stupid.”

You nod obediently, sliding off the bed and onto your knees, reaching for Jean. He steps forward, letting you hold his cock in your little hand, rub up and down while you take Eren in your mouth. Even your hands are enough to drive him crazy, so soft and supple around him; Jean’s head falls back.

“Fuck,” Eren sucks a sharp breath in between his teeth, “that’s it, baby, take it.”

Something possesses Jean, what it is he can’t be sure, but he reaches a hand down to the back of your head, pushing you further down Eren’s length. He half-expects Eren to chastise him for it, but Eren groans, long and loud, a sound that simmers in Jean’s stomach.

Jean watches the contractions of Eren’s abs, trails his eyes up to where the other man’s strong chest is heaving, a strange, hot sensation trickling through his center. It’s too late to look away once he realizes he’s been caught, but instead of finding amusement when he meets Eren’s eyes, Jean finds something else entirely.

Eren’s looking at Jean the way he looks at you, all lusty and uninhibited. Jean nearly scowls at him, everything he’s internalized over the years rearing its head in his chest, but Eren stops him with a hand wrapped around the back of Jean’s neck. In the blink of an eye, there’s a set of lips on his, a sharp tongue licking into his mouth.

Jean lets out a wanton, strung out moan that Eren swallows, echoes with one of his own. Jean notices that your head has stilled under his hand, and he shoves you back onto Eren’s cock mindlessly, relishing in the way Eren’s mouth stutters against his own when you retch around him. He trails his hand, tentative and exploratory, up to Eren’s hair, grabs the bun at the back of his head and pulls. Jean’s surprised at the heat beneath his palm; he’s always known Eren runs hot, especially after the last few times he’s fucked you. It’s only natural to brush arms, brush legs during the act, but Eren’s skin is scalding, damp with sweat under his touch.

It’s not Jean’s first kiss with a man, not by any means, but he’d never guessed that Eren, headstrong, manly, unreadable Eren, had this in him. Had it been hiding there for all of these years? Was it a spur of the moment thing, that Eren would look back on and cringe at later?

Doubt getting the better of him, Jean breaks first, pulls away with a quiet smacking sound. Eren’s eyes are just as wide as his feel, searching Jean’s face for any sign of regret, of satisfaction, of something. A loud whine from below distracts them both, and whatever odd moment was forming is broken as they look down at you.

Your chin is covered in drool from where you’ve been choking on Eren, gagging around him, and your eyes are glossy and needy. Jean’s cock gets impossibly harder.

“What?” Eren taunts. “You jealous that I kissed your Jeanie?”

“Yeah,” you pout, brows knitting, but Jean can see the arousal written into your features. You liked it.

“Get up,” Jean says to you, voice hard and unforgiving.

You follow his instruction, standing on shaking legs. Jean can see the snark in your eyes before it comes out of your lips. “What, finally going to pay attention to me now?”

As soon as the words have left your mouth, Eren’s hand is around your jaw, wrenching it open for him to spit into your mouth. “Don’t fucking talk back, not if you want to cum.”

“You were doing so good,” Jean rubs a hand over your hip, guiding you to lay on top of him on the bed, “what, are you that desperate for us that you can’t mind your manners?”

“I just–”

“Want both of your slutty little holes filled?” Eren scoffs, kneeling on the bed behind where you’re straddling Jean’s hips. “Yeah, we know.”

You frown and lean down to Jean, searching for consolation, but he shoves you to sit back up, admiring the way your chest bounces with the movement.

“Can’t be nice to you all the time,” Jean’s voice is low, dangerous, “not when you act like a brat.”

He can see the heartbreak on your face, revels in it, but it’s short lived. Your eyes fly open as Eren works the plug out of you, tossing it to the side and wrapping an arm around you to take your neck in his hand. Eren looks down at Jean, exchanges a conspiratorial smirk with him.

“Why don’t you ask Jean if you can sit on it while I work you open, hm?”

Your eyes glisten pleadingly at Jean, but something’s come over him. He realizes he likes drawing those begging moans out of you, likes holding you over the edge between the tips of his fingers. Jean shrugs.

“Show me how bad you want it.”

While Eren reaches over to scrounge around for the lube in Jean’s bedside table, you start to work your hips over Jean’s cock, slicking it up with how wet you already are. Jean grabs you by the back of the neck, pulls you to him to drink down the little whimpers and moans that escape your lips.

“Jean, please,” you sigh into his mouth, “I need you.”

Jean’s resolve wavers, but he stands firm. “Beg.”

“I–” hot tears of shame are welling in your eyes now, Jean wants to lick them from your cheeks– “please, I need it, need your cock in me, please, Jean.”

“What do you think, Eren?” As Jean asks the question, it strikes him just how often he refers to the other man simply as “Jaeger”, not by his first name. In his mind, ‘Jaeger’ is his friend of many years, and ‘Eren’ is the man that he had just inexplicably, passionately kissed. “Think she’s earned it?”

“Let’s see how she takes my fingers,” Eren replies, slicking his fingers up with lube and forcing two into your already-stretched hole with ease, making you squeak in surprise, “oh fuck, she’s already so stretched out for us. Yeah, give her what she wants, let her warm up to it.”

“Thank you, t-thank you,” you stammer, out of your mind with want as Jean slides the head of his cock into you with a long groan.

“Shit,” Jean growls, holding onto you tight to prevent your hips from pushing down on him too fast, filling you up too quickly with Eren’s fingers hard at work in your other hole. Maybe he is the nice one, after all. “So fucking tight for me, aren’t you?”

“Mhm, for you,” you hum, lip tucked in your teeth.

“Think she likes you more than me,” Eren smirks from over your shoulder, working a third finger into you and making your jaw drop. For his part, Jean bottoms out, hissing as you pulse around him. He can feel Eren’s fingers scissoring through your walls, eyes rolling back into his head at the sensation.

“You okay? Is it too much?” Jean notices one of those tears that had sparkled in your eyes earlier threatening to fall, grabbing your face and forcing you to look at him. You look beautiful, all stretched around him and fucked out, mind blank.

“It’s a lot,” you nod, sniffle, “but I’m okay, I can take him. Want to, want– need you both.”

Eren’s eyes darken, and Jean can feel him remove his fingers, feel the accommodating stretch of your walls able to breathe again. Jean takes your hips in his hands, rolling you along his cock to grant both of you some of the friction you desperately need. You mewl, leaning over to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Eren’s lining up behind you, running a soothing hand over your back.

“Deep breaths, baby,” Jean instructs you, holding you to his chest. You sniffle and nod into his shoulder, muscles tense and twitching.

“Tell me if it’s too much, alright angel?” Eren leans over to press a surprisingly tender kiss between your shoulder blades and gives Jean a signaling nod, which Jean returns.

Jean can feel it the moment Eren pushes in, feel your body stretching itself to accommodate both of them. You squeal into the skin of Jean’s shoulder that you’ve taken between your teeth, and it hurts, but he lets you, rubbing circles on your lower back.

“Doing so good for us, baby,” Jean hums, pressing his lips to your ear, “too much?”

You shake your head, whimpering as Eren pushes in further.

“God, she’s– shit, it’s so fucking tight,” Eren growls, jaw clenched and a little vein protruding in his neck from the effort of holding himself back, reining in the part of himself that just wants to snap his hips forwards into you.

“Yeah, she is,” Jean chokes out, feeling suffocated by the way you’re pulsing around him, by the pressure of Eren’s cock shoving at him. He’s not sure where he ends and where the both of you begin, if there’s even any separation between his skin and Eren’s and yours anymore.

“Feel so– full,” you hiccup, nails digging into Jean’s shoulders. Your watery voice makes Eren pause, rub a hand over your back.

“You doing okay, baby? How you feeling?”

“Feels….” you take in a deep, heaving breath, “good. Feels so good.”

Eren grins, something feral. “That’s our girl. So good for us, yeah?”

“You like being full, hm?” Jean can feel a smile mirroring Eren’s on his face.

He doesn’t miss Eren’s choice of words. Our girl. And you are their girl, you love being full of them. Of course you do. You’re their insatiable little plaything, so good at taking them in each of your holes. You love it, you love them.

“It’s– fuck, I’m in,” Eren’s staring at where you’re all connected. Jean wishes he could see, but the tightness of you around him is enough, the way he can feel Eren through your thin walls, pressing against his cock. Eren pumps his hips experimentally, and all three of you moan in sync.

“Pl-please move, Jean, fuck- no, Eren, just–” you’re babbling nonsensically, music to their ears.

“We’ve got you,” Jean hushes you, fucking his hips up into you and cutting you off, “just sit tight and be our good little girl, alright?”

“Oh g-god.” Your words wrench from you in a sob, jolting with the thrust of Jean’s hips up into yours. It takes some work, but soon enough, they’re pumping in and out of you at the perfect pace, synced up so you’re never empty, not for long. You’re wailing, voice scratchy from all the crying you’ve already done that night, clutching onto Jean like he’s your last lifeline.

“Feels so fucking good,” Eren grits out, digging his fingers into the flesh of your hips, “so good for us.”

“Not gonna last long, not like this,” Jean agrees, sitting you up so he can see you, see your wet cheeks and your open mouth, “so pretty like this, aren’t you? All stuffed full?”

“She loves it,” Eren growls over your pathetic, shaky moan of agreement, landing a smack on your ass, “fucking loves us, don’t you baby? Tell us, tell us how much you love it.”

“I-I love it,” you manage, voice wrecked, “love you— fuck- love you both so much.”

Jean’s eyes widen, roll back in his head a little. You’re so perfect, obedient and willing to take both of them, let them abuse your holes. The thought makes him bite down on the inside of his cheek, not willing to be the first to break and ruin this perfect moment.

“Jean, I– shit, I’m gonna cum soon,” Eren pants, pupils blown wide and mouth hanging open when he meets Jean’s eyes. “Make her cum.”

Jean nods determinedly, somehow finds the presence of mind to slide a hand in between your slick bodies, swiping at your clit insistently. Your body blooms for him, back arching as you throw your head back against Eren’s shoulder. He feels you clench violently around him, knows you’ve already been on the edge since they started with you, knows you won’t take much goading to break for them.

“That good?” Jean forced out through his clenched jaw, trying to keep pace with Eren amidst your vice-like grip on him.

“Yes, so fucking– oh my god, J-Jean, I’m– Eren,” you’re babbling, close to the point of hysteria, eyes blank and teary. Jean’s free hand wraps around your hip, grabbing hard at the flesh there. He’s so gone he barely catches it, just barely, but he notices Eren’s hand. Eren lays his palm over Jean’s, deliberate and steady, grabbing onto the other man’s hand and squeezing down. Jean meets Eren’s eyes, fucked out and hooded.

“Come on,” Jean rubs faster, harder, his eyes flitting back and forth between yours and Eren’s, “show us what a good fucking girl you are for us.”

Whatever was tethering you to your sanity falls away, and you cum harder than Jean’s ever seen, mouth hanging open in a silent scream as your muscles lock up, legs trembling on either side of Jean’s hips. He grips your hip harder, trying to maintain a pace so you can ride your orgasm out on top of them. Eren follows quickly behind you, biting into your shoulder with a loud, long groan. When Jean feels Eren’s cum leaking out of you, feels the mess they’ve made between your legs, he falls over the edge too, slamming your hips down into his and grinding up into you with a moan.

The three of you collapse into a heap of limbs and sweat and stickiness, chests heaving and muscles twitching. Jean can feel the burn of Eren’s skin and the slick, plush give of yours, enveloping him from every angle, and for the first time in months, he lets his eyes flutter shut, letting himself enjoy the simple pleasure of touch.

But nothing is forever, and after a few minutes, he feels you begin to stir between them, mumbling about needing to go to the bathroom. Eren reluctantly rolls off the bed to help you to the bathroom to clean up, leading you out on shaking legs. Alone again, Jean throws his hands over his face and sighs, deep and hefty.

He shouldn’t be here, he should have never let you both goad him into this.

It occurs to Jean that he needs some air; the apartment feels suffocatingly small knowing that both of you are only a few layers of plaster and a door away. He pushes through regret and self-doubt, pulling his sweatpants back on and scrounging around in his laundry basket of unfolded, clean clothes to find a shirt.

“What are you doing?” Eren’s suddenly in the doorway, scowling at him.

“Going out.”

“You worked this morning. What, do you have plans or something?” There’s a clear note of annoyance in Eren’s voice, but Jean’s too exhausted and shaky to look into it.

“Jean?” You, Eren’s shadow as always, peer around his shoulders, a cute little furrow of confusion between your brows. “Where are you going?”

Jean nearly growls in frustration, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Out. I’m going out.”

He hates the way you flinch, grab onto Eren’s hand for stability in the wake of his snapping at you. Eren speaks next, but Jean doesn’t recognize his tone; it’s firm, but somehow, it’s lacking Eren’s perpetually angry intonation.

“Sit.” Eren’s got one finger pointed to the bed, ordering him as if this isn’t Jean’s own room. He drags you over behind him, plopping on the bed as if you all do this every day. Jean glares at Eren, softens his eyes at the way you’re looking up at him invitingly.

“We just want to talk a little,” you pat the comforter, smiling softly. That breaks him, and against Jean’s better judgment, he’s sitting where you’ve indicated, t-shirt still fisted in his hands.

“About?”

“We don’t want you to think– well, this…” Eren gestures his hands between the three of you, frowning deeper, and eventually sighing, “I don’t know how to say it.”

You pick up for Eren, smiling at him. “We don’t want you to feel like you’re out of place here, that’s all.”

Jean cocks an eyebrow. “In my own bedroom?”

“No, asshole,” Eren rolls his eyes, “with…with us.”

“What does that mean?” Jean’s heart nearly stops. A small, soft hand over his makes his breath catch in his throat.

“We’re not, like, experienced with this, so maybe we’re doing this whole thing wrong,” you look to Eren anxiously, who nods at you reassuringly, “but…we have room for you. If you’re open.”

“Like…” Jean barely trusts his voice to carry above a breath, “in what sense?”

“It’s not just sex,” Eren mumbles, flushing pink, “to us, at least.”

“We like you,” you clarify, smiling again, “and however you want us, if you want us, at least, you can have us.”

Jean blinks stupidly, looks to Eren to see if his face betrays anything, anything that could explain the conversation taking place, if it’s a joke, if he’s unsure. To his surprise, Eren looks up at him, green eyes earnest and burning into his, and takes the t-shirt out of Jean’s hands, giving one of Jean’s hands to you and taking the other for himself.

“It works,” Eren says, finding some conviction, “whatever you want to call it, this works.”

“For both of you?” Jean can hardly believe his ears, can hardly fathom the feeling of your soft, delicate little fingers and Eren’s calloused palms wrapped around his hands.

“For both of us. But…does it? For you?” Your voice wavers, your nerves betraying you.

“I mean, I don’t know what it is. I don’t understand it,” Jean admits, positive that his eyes are comically wide in the face of this new information.

“Me neither,” Eren shrugs, “but we don’t have to be so serious about it–”

“Not for now at least,” you smile at Eren encouragingly, nodding and urging him to press on.

“Not for now,” Eren agrees, squeezing Jean’s fingers ever so slightly, the smallest, most tentative reassurance, “we can figure it out later.”

“If you want it,” you bite your lip, looking up at Jean through thick lashes, “want us. We won’t be upset if you say no. No pressure.”

Jean thinks for a moment, thinks about everything you’re offering him. You, who he’s pined after for months, so beautiful and sweet to him. He thinks about sharing coffee with you in the mornings, holding you tight to his body and drifting off to sleep, letting you play with his hair. He doesn’t know if he loves you, but whatever he feels is pretty damn close to it, close enough to drive him crazy and keep him up at night.

And Eren. He’s been friends with Eren for near a decade now, known him for as long as he can remember. What this agreement means in terms of his relationship with Eren, Jean hardly dares to press, knowing how Eren is: flighty, argumentative, brash. None of that is written into Eren’s features now, though; Eren’s watching him intently, earnestly, chest stilled as if he’s holding his breath, waiting for Jean’s answer.

Something old and something new mixed together into something entirely unfamiliar.

“We don’t have to put a label on it now, or even go through the semantics,” Eren’s voice is spent, nearly breathless.

“We’ll give you some space if you need–”

“No,” Jean cuts you off, looking between you both, “no, it’s– it’s just a surprise, that’s all.”

Eren snorts. “How many times do we need to fuck you before you get the hint?”

“Eren!” You slap his arm, looking between him and Jean meaningfully. “Not really the time for jokes, is it?”

“I mean, fucking in the bathroom of Scout’s isn’t exactly wining and dining me,” Jean rolls his eyes. Eren laughs at that, unintentionally tightening his grip around Jean’s fingers and making Jean’s heart thud a little in his chest.

“You two are beyond annoying,” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest. Eren and Jean exchange a wicked smirk.

“Regretting this already?” Eren teases you, digging his fingers into your side and making you giggle.

“Get over here,” Jean pulls you onto his lap, feeling emboldened to press a quick succession of kisses to your jawline, to your cheek. God, maybe he does love you, the weight of you in his arms feeling almost perfect. Eren leans over and tackles you both, tickling you wherever he can reach, Jean pinning you to his chest despite your protests and thrashing.

That’s what’s missing, Jean realizes. It’s not about you and Jean, or you and Eren, or he and Eren. He understands Eren’s bluntness earlier: the three of you just work, regardless of the weirdness of it all or the awkward conversations that lay ahead. It works, and for now, that’s enough.

Eren relents in his torture, scooting up the bed and dragging you with him, pulling Jean’s covers over you both like he’d done it a hundred times. Jean’s last little inkling of self-doubt perseveres, and he hesitates, until Eren tosses the covers on your other side back, patting the sheets meaningfully. Jean swallows his pride, swallows his insecurity, and pulls you into his side, very mindful of Eren’s arm tossed over both of your shoulders, of Eren’s fingers weaving absentmindedly through the hair at the nape of his neck.

And in the morning, when Eren mimics Jean’s loud snoring and you’re playfully throwing little crumbs of toast at them over the counter, the little voice in Jean’s head that had warned him to keep his distance will be completely silenced for the first time in months.

[m-jelly]

oh! lebi with a world famous and very much loved chef! whos kind of really iconic (almost like gordon ramsay) and is just THE shit.

My sweet chef

Levi x fem!reader

Modern AU, fluff, romance, married, famous reader, chef reader

You have your wonderful husband join in in the kitchen for your tv show.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @emilyyyy-08 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird @searriously

As the production team moved around and set a few things up for the show, you had your arms linked around your husband's neck. With smiles on your faces, you started decorating his face with kisses. Levi was in his happy little world as you did.

Levi hugged you tightly. "You're so amazing."

"I'm okay." You sighed. "I don't think I'm that good. I could be a better chef."

He lifted you and smiled up at you. "You're better than you think, my darling. You cook and bake things that anyone can do using low-priced things. You're a top-of-the-line chef, you have cooking programs and you help businesses that struggle. You're incredible."

"I wouldn't be this way if it weren't for your encouragement."

The producer approached you with a smile. "Mrs Ackerman, we are ready to go."

You gasped in delight. "Wonderful! Thank you." You pulled Levi along. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Levi squeezed your hand. "I want to help. We agreed that this show would be about cooking together as a couple." He pulled on an apron. "Let's do this."

You welled up and nodded. "Yes."

The show was a lot of fun to film with Levi. With other shows, you work your way through it and have some laughs. However, Levi was making you and the crew laugh so much. Levi was a natural and good at cooking and baking with you.

Now and then Levi would kiss your cheek, stand behind you and help you, dance with you or lick something that you offered him. The two of you forgot about it being a show and just acted naturally together. The food seemed to come out even better than usual and your usual was of a very high standard.

The fun part was when you made something with Levi, you would try it together and then offer it to the crew to eat. You wanted everyone to have fun and get involved. Levi and you would point at the crew during filming and ask the questions. It wasn't all about you, it was about everyone and the enjoyment of food.

You thanked the crew and waved goodbye to them as they made their way out of your large home. "What a busy day, huh?"

Levi pulled you against him. "Fuck, you are stunning."

You giggled as he attacked your neck. "Thank you."

He picked you up before moving you into the living room. He held you on the sofa and smiled. "I'm so proud of you."

Your cheeks burned. "Really? That's so sweet of you. That means a lot to me."

He kissed you. "I love you."

You giggled. "I love you so much, Levi. I'm proud of you too. You're incredible to me and you're so handsome." You released a long sigh and straddled Levi. You massaged your fingers into his hair. "You really are the best." You caressed his cheek. "My soulmate."

He blushed. "You're my soulmate too."

You showered his face with kisses. "Do you want me to cook or bake you anything?"

He hummed. "So many choices, but I am a bit full from eating your food all day." He pouted and hummed. "How about something tasty like a dessert?"

You nipped his cheek. "You're a tasty dessert."

He growled at you. "No, you are."

[spacemonkeysalsa]

On the subject of whether or not vampires love...

This is a topic that's been debated about amongst D&D nerds for ages, and like everything in D&D the consensus doesn't matter because we made it all up, but the consensus is: Spawns - yes

True vampires - no

And at no point in BG3 is Astarion a true vampire. They actually specifically made it so he wouldn't be, and I think it's interesting that at the beginning of the game you can learn about how he could become a true vampire, and then even when he gets the chance to follow through and do it, he doesn't. The choice is never a) Spawn or b) True Vampire or c) Vampire Ascendant. It's just spawn or ascendant and I don't think that's a mistake. I think, in a way, it's for the sake of the theoretical romance that might just be happening between Tav/Durge and Astarion.

If he became a true vampire, then canonically he could not love you (as much as anything in D&D is fixed, see above flippant remark about us making it all up and also decades of changing the rules whenever they don't suit us anymore because why not) but since Larian didn't even make that possible, we're left to just argue about how much of a true vampire a vampire ascendant really is. A vampire ascendant doesn't really sound like a true vampire from it's description as a "new monster" with "the arousals and appetites of man" so there's room to argue.

And everyone sure does like arguing. I don't really see the point, because after he ascends I don't think it matters at all if he loves you anymore. He's become possessive, controlling, and ultimately abusive and he's going through the very typical arc of a successful guy who got everything he wanted and is now confused and angry about why it hasn't fixed everything. He's taking it out on you, dump his ass.

I've known too many people like this to really care all that much about the lore of D&D and how it doesn't perfectly map onto real life. Becoming an abuser is not a Pokemon evolution. And what I'm seeing in Astarion is not someone who has been magically altered, or even necessarily lost his soul outright (though imo that soul is a tasty snack marinated inside of a new monster for Meph to eat later, at best) I'm just seeing what it looks like when someone who is deeply hurt and troubled desperately wants something that is bad for them, and they get it and it expunges some insecurities and fear, while enabling the development of new (much much worse) ones. It sucks, and it's predictable.

So, at that point, who cares if his love is genuine or not. "But he loves you," is an excuse that mom-in-law likes to use to keep you from leaving her son, but it's actually not a persuasive argument, because love doesn't mean a whole lot when it can't prevent him from being an asshole. I've seen some version of all this hashed out all over the place on the internet, because this is an incredibly popular thing to argue about.

And, to be clear, I'm not even arguing that Ascended Astarion loves Tav/Durge. My conclusion is that it's possible he still loves them, and that it means fuck all. But, one thing I haven't really seen discussed, but that has been on my mind a lot since the most recent round of this very dumb argument started up again - does this have any implications on Astarion's refusal to make Tav/Durge a true vampire? I'm not at all in disagreement with the typical read: that Astarion is following Vellioth's rules about not letting anyone be an equal. But, he does make sure to extend certain protections to Tav/Durge as a spawn that he was never afforded. It's a small consolation when they're still technically are under his compulsion, but it's a bit rebellious, 1 point for mild rebellion against Vellioth's stupid rules. And I don't think it's out of line to suggest that he has his own motivations outside of keeping with tradition.

He wants Tav/Durge to love him, and he knows that if he makes them a true vampire, they won't. Similarly, I remember initially being a bit surprised that there was no option for Astarion to drink Cazador's blood and become a true vampire, and I even remember seeing a lot of jokes about how silly spawn Astarion must've felt the next day when he realized he missed his chance.

But, knowing that becoming a true vampire would apparently rewire his brain so he doesn't experience love anymore might just be motivation enough not to do it, if he's found someone he loves.

Or even if he's only got hope that he might have love in the future.

[2af-afterdark]

Oh no. The Bael brainrot is back at it. And it's horny again.

I got his day 3 messages and now I can't stop thinking about Bael dealing with the side effects of whatever the fuck Beel fed him. I'm assuming it was an aphrodisiac of some kind, since he said "it's gotten bigger and won't go down" which I can only read as talking about his dick. He also later added that there was more cum than usual... And that there was another time when Beel's food made his cock three times bigger than usual... Fuck, is it possible place an order for more meals like that or something? For.. research purposes.

Since he said it'd be better if he wasn't alone while dealing with this, I am now violently shaking and thinking about many unholy scenarios. Just imagine eating something very tasty together while he's on a (desperately needed and well-deserved) break only to then start feeling.. a little off. Maybe it's time to open a window? The room suddenly feels way too stuffy. Oh? What's that? Looks like Bael's pants are also feeling that way. And since the meal was eaten together, the side effects are also shared together. Looks like there's no other choice but to have a lust-crazed fuckfest, oops! Poor Bael is literally biting his lips enough to draw blood, all to stifle his wanton moans as he struggles to fit his cock even halfway in. Whatever he ate made it bigger than usual, and he's silently cursing Beel out in as many ways as he can. The demon feels like he'll go crazy if he doesn't sink cock balls-deep into his lover right now, but he knows that'd be selfish. His last remnants of consciousness have him trying to rush his way through actually stretching and preparing them rather than fucking like animals right off the bat, desperate to not hurt the one he loves so much. He's whispering stuttery apologies for being so pushy and his hands and lips are all over, caressing every intimate place he can reach. When Bael finally bottoms out, he's literally crying — both with pleasure and the sheer relief he feels now that his needy cock is finally being taken care of properly. Any concerns and thoughts fly out of the window, no longer worried about how long the aphrodisiac will last; Bael's focus now solely on thrusting and moaning like his life depends on it. Luckily enough he's on a break, so no one will complain even if he spends days in a haze of lust and lovemaking.

...How the fuck do I make a fictional character real and get him to fuck me. I need that man carnally.

eating this up frothing at the mouth i would help this man in a heartbeat

[callmearcturus]

@icecreamvi replied to your post “Ok just finished rogue nation i think i liked...”:

I loved when they put the guy in the box

i loved when Ethan had a cute lil convo with the terminal agent at the start

i loved when ethan fixated on ilsa's shoes, and when ilsa tossed him the key but he couldn't fucking reach it so he just vaulted the pole, and the power of both of them barefoot and fighting in tandem

i loved every moment alec baldwin looked like an idiot

i loved all of Brandt's microexpressions (there are a lot)

i loved Benji just casually being able to completely clown on a lie detector test, the first of many hints that his competence has grown. also grown: his beard, and it looks amazing and soft

I loved "Hi Benji. Miss me?" like my god <3

I loved how Benji is GENUINELY INTO OPERA, we never get hints that he's a scifi or fantasy geek but we KNOW he is into classical music and live performance, that's so good

I loved Ilsa in the golden dress, esp the lil shorts underneath that are so functional

I loved Ethan vs a Tall Dude and how it genuinely alters how Ethan has to fight, and the desperation of his physicality, esp that double kick to the guy's chest, it's so GOOD

I love how Ilsa spots Benji once and saves his life bc everyone who lays eyes on Benji imprints on him

I love the car chase and how Ethan bodily searched Ilsa but it's not gross or weird, it's professional, I love it so much

I love the fucking scene between Ilsa and Solomon, the seething annoyance between them, the grit-teeth cooperation, I adore it. also just how she tossed the gun and how NOISILY it clatters on his sushi setting

(i'm gonna keep going )

I love that Simon Pegg pointed out that Benji is the only person allowed to yell at Ethan, and its GLORIOUS when it happens. i love Ethan's stunned little "okay" after and the microsmile he gives as he turns away.

I love Luther's role in the story, I really adore how Luther and Benji on paper have similar roles but in function they are just so different. Benji is a field tech, he has initiative and moves on his feet. Luther is better at the actual tech stuff, can do much more impressive feats, but doesn't have that same boots on the ground vibe. It's amazing.

I love Ethan and Benji's Morocco outfits. Ethan's in maybe his most colorful outfit of the series and I love it, and BENJI'S SHOOOOES.

I love Ilsa debriefing the boys and how cute they are and her expressions during it.

I love that Tom Cruise can hold his breath for fucking five to seven minutes and he freaked out the filming crew during the torus sequence.

I LOVE THE FUCKING WRITING CHOICE, THAT BENJI TELLS ILSA "I MISJUDGED YOU" RIGHT BEFORE SHE FUCKS HIM OVER. OH IT'S SO JUICY.

I love that in MI3, when Ethan came back from the bed he was immediately 'on' and ready, but in RN when he comes back from the dead, he's like. he's so fucked up l m a o.

I absolutely adore that when the script called for Ethan and Benji to get into the car, TC was like "I can't just get in the car" and then was like "I got it. roll cameras, I got it," and then improvised the moment when ethan faceplants off the car. And I love it bc I see myself in that technique, because it's a moment that had the potential to have Something, so he made sure it did. With a movie, you have 2 to 3 hours to tell a story and convey characters, and TC refuses to waste any of the moments, and I try my best to do the same with my writing, so I respect it.

I love the motorcycle chase but I'm a slut for all motorcycle scenes.

I love "Tell me you made a copy of that disk," "Of course I made a copy," the LOVE IN BENJI'S EYES. GOD.

I love Ilsa vs her shitty handler and the horror of how screwed she is, how you can watch the hope in her eyes die. Also the shake in her voice with "You bring me in," its amazing.

I love Brandt vs Ethan for the entire end of the story, the Bitchiness vs the Tiredness, it's tasty. Great chemistry.

The entire scene between Solomon and Ilsa in the graveyard is honestly gorgeous. The scenery, the camera pulled all the way back, the black slim look Lane has, Ilsa's amazing coat, the way they talk. I really adore that entire scene.

I love how Ethan doesn't think for a second about running away with Ilsa.

AND OF COURSE I LOVE THAT THEY TOOK BENJI. He's the damsel! And Ethan immediately loses it, he's out of his mind, yeah lets kidnap the fucking PRIME MINISTER, and how every time he tries to explain Lane, everyone else is like "ethan, u cray tho" I love Ethan's desperation, I feast on it.

I love how... Ethan memorized the fucking list. What a fucking batshit move. God.

I love Ilsa vs the Bone Doctor and how she rides his body the fuck down. THE WAY THAT RN KEEPS FUCKING WITH GENDER, like Ethan's play against Lane is a Wounded Gazelle Gambit, a very femme-coded move that fits with his MI1 history as a honeytrap, while Ilsa gets the extended fight scene.

I'M FORGETTING OTHER THINGS BUT I LOVE RN

not as much as I love Fallout tho

[francis-writes]

Hi! I'd like to request werewolf (or vampire) Alex headcannons :D

A/N: ohh, it was a hard choice, both options suit him so well. But I decided to go with vampire because despite his wildness, Alex is more a type to hide is bloodthirst under suave and refined exterior. Also you didn't specify so I made separate headcanons for him as a vampire in general and for him as a vampire x reader.

General HCs

It's rather unsurprising that he finally got turned into a vampire considering his tendency to wander through night London and its most shady places. Probably one night he just decided to mess with a wrong person when he got separated from the gang. His droogies found him uncoscious with a huge bloodloss. Maybe they were in a good mood, maybe Pete convinced them, anyway they didn't leave him there. They roused him and took for a Moloko Plus to get him in shape (because hospital is for the weak).

Alex didn't notice changes or maybe he didn't pay that much attention to them as they didn't change his routine much but finally he realized something happened with him. It reminds me a quote from Ginger Snaps: "I get this ache -- And I, I thought it was for sex, but it's to tear everything to fucking pieces."

There is no problem with satisfying his hunger, without changing his lifestyle even a bit. He feeds on people he beats or rob (Alex doesn't try to hide that he drinks blood of their victims and his droogies doesn't even pay attention to it. They are just like "oh yeah, it's just Alex") or on his lovers (they just shrug and think he's kinky).

The only inconvenience is not being able to get out in the Sun. Even before he was mostly active during the night but he usually left the house when sun was still shining on the sky. Moreover during summer nights don't last that long and it drives Alex mad that he's restricted to stay in his house. He hates rules and everything that tries to control his actions, even if it's nature of his own body.

If it's possible, it only fueled his already large ego. Now he not only thinks about himself as better that other people, he is in fact better. He's stronger, he's faster, and most important - he's immortal. He can't wait for the centuries of eternal youth, all pleasures of the world just waiting for him to find them.

Would he ever get bored? I don't think so. He's like Hob Gadling (just more morally questionable). He lives for the sake of living and believes there's always something for discover.

Romantic & NSFW HCs

He really wants to feed from you, for many reasons. Your blood is tasty, it gives him feeling of domination and it turns him on. Pretty much. Every times he bites your neck or wrist and sucks your blood, he gets a boner and usually fucks you right after, with his face still covered in blood and with you slightly dizzy from blood loss.

Would he turn you into a vampire? Well, probably yes, because it seems fun and he rarely thinks about consequences. But he may use it as bargaining chip. Not even for something specific, he just wants to hear you beg for it and he likes to look like a genereous philantropist.

I am sad to say this, but it's unlikely that you would become immortal lovers with lasting romantic relationship and it's nothing you can do about it. Monogamy or just stable relationship is hard for Alex but manageable. For a few years. Eternity is too much. Best you can have is coming back to each other for some time every now and then.

[sinistergooseberries]

This Melodious Rain(it's all you)

This is a re-release because my chapter has finally been edited by the darlingest of betas @the-life-support-system

shoutout to jamie everyone

***

Chapter 1

Meera's POV

You might ask me how the fuck did it come to be like this.

I'm sitting in one of the many pews of the most beautiful church I have ever seen. The girl I love is getting married to some guy at the altar, who waltzed into our lives without permission.

Lisa looks like she is about to cry. I wish to comfort her, but she has already denied my companionship. Why in the ever-loving hell would she want my comfort? 

She has chosen her path, and I can't do anything about it.

Why does it feel so stuffy in here? There are air conditioners but it feels like I'm about to puke.

I look at them and I hate them. I hate her. I hate the guy, I hate this love that had to blossom in my heart for the most unavailable person and I hate myself for beginning to want to be the person taking her veil off even after everything. 

Yet, I'm not able to take my eyes off her. It's like every movement of hers pulls me like a magnet. I love her and she loves me too, because I can see her watching me from the corner of her eyes. But she has made her choice.

That is us. We are better off when we don't have to face anything.

*********

The evening of her graduation and the morning after it would always be a memorable period for Meera. Not because she graduated from some godforsaken engineering college, or because she had finally got an assistant director's job under Suresh Prabhakar (though that was one of the top contenders), but something else.

She had gone to Suresh Prabhakar's set, had been introduced by Krishna, the guy with the connections who was her senior from her college and had rigorously tried to learn everything that was to be learnt.

She had come back home a few hours ago. She was lying on her bed, the little script book clutched to her chest. It was the best feeling. She’d been lying like that ever since she came back home at 9 o’clock. She couldn’t sleep at all. She checked the time using her phone. It was 4:20 a.m.

The room was too stuffy, too small for the big things she felt at that moment. She had to step out. She sat down on the wicker chair in their balcony, looking down at the quiet street of their neighbourhood. They lived on a residential street, and one could seldom see vehicles passing through this place. Sometimes you could hear the ghost of a honking car if you were lucky.

She was swept away by her dreams of making big in film, when she heard the gate open. It was 4:30 in the morning. Why would anyone be entering the house at such an ungodly hour?

She peered closer over the edge of the railing. It was...a woman.

Ah. Not a robber. It was the daughter of their tenants, the Palackals. Her father had mentioned something along the lines of someone from downstairs working a midnight shift. She had thought it was the uncle, not the daughter.

3 months ago, a Kerala family had come to rent their ground floor house. A contact of her father who was also a contact of the uncle showed the family to the house. Talks had gone down and finally the downstairs house had been rented. Most of the time, the families avoided contact with each other due to the language and culture barrier experienced throughout the first month (the interaction being just the parents), but Meera knew a few details here and there. They were a family of four - the parents and a sister and a brother - Christians and very, very fond of meat. The last one was ascertained by the fact that every time the aunty cooked, the smells wafted upwards and they had to shut their windows and doors when they cooked a particularly smelly dish. They would give a little bit of their curries every time they cooked though (not the beef, of course). Meera and Veena liked them enough, her parents did not touch them. The aunty was nice about it, so perhaps that was what made the peculiar dishes tasty. Athididevobhava: after all.

She had never seen the siblings' faces though. She wanted to say hello, but she wondered if the other woman would be startled by a rando saying hello to her in the midst of the night. In spite of that, her curiosity did not dampen even a little bit. Why would it? A normal landlord wouldn't go 3 months without knowing the face of their tenants.

Perhaps god had heard her wish, because as she peered from the railing, the woman looked up.

Oh, boy.

Her curly black hair fluttered in the light breeze that seemed to pass by just at that moment. Her dark skin shone with little beads of perspiration above her upper lip. Her beautiful, dark brown eyes twinkled in the little bit of sunlight that came through. She clutched her Bisleri water bottle as she looked up.

Their eyes met. Shrouded in the morning mist, the woman raised a subtle eyebrow.

At four-thirty in the morning on a random Tuesday, Meera had come face to face with the goddess Usha.

Meera tried to adjust the way she looked, knowing it was all in vain. She had got out straight from bed and looked as sweaty and weird as she felt.

The goddess looked radiant. She didn't know how it was possible to look flawless on a night-shift, but this woman achieved it.

Meera felt like she had to take a picture of this.

And so she did.

"What the fuck" came out of two mouths (one of them her own) in two very different tones.

[indignantlemur]

Let's talk about Andorian foods!

Without at doubt, one of the most enjoyable things about creating Émigré has been creating Andorian foods. We know so much about Vulcan and Klingon food, but Andorians are horribly overlooked beyond a few basic descriptions of beetles, blue meat, and a kind of flatbread. That's like, a meal. Tops. Even if you include drinks, which are ice-tea, hot coffee, and booze, you're not really moving beyond a single meal's worth of food types. And here's the thing - food is a central point in almost every culture there is. How we prepare food, what we consider food, how we present and share it, when and where and with what utensils - all of that is a huge part of most cultures. We have foods that are only eaten on special days, or only for certain meals. We have foods that have special meanings when given as gifts, and things that are traditional to give as part of social customs around weddings and funerals. We have comfort food, junk food, traditional food, fusion food, I'm-too-tired-to-cook food, and so many more kinds. We have entire branches of culinary expertise dedicated to JUST sweet foods. We have specialists who brew, pickle, and blend. We have random folks who make their own mead, or brew their own beer or wine. We have dozens of different kinds of salt for different kinds of finishing touches, for goodness' sake!

So yeah. I have a problem with the whole Andorians-only-eat-like-four-things-maybe approach. It's lazy. I hate lazy writing. So let's talk about some of my ideas, maybe? If anyone's still reading? (hello?)

Andorians are group-oriented people who put their society and their clans before themselves. Group meals therefore feels like a natural continuation of this trend, things like hotpots and fondues, and those fun little sushi bars where the tasty things go 'round and round on a little belt and you just pick up what you like and try not to fuck it up and fumble some painstakingly assembled sushi in front of the guy who made it.

One of the first ideas I came up with following this logic was the idea of a multi-layer lazy-Susan kind of dining table, with concentric rings that allowed for people to rotate each ring independently to pass around different bowls and plates of food, which a central spot for a pot of hot oil to cook your selections with. The utensils by necessity would have to be long-necked and pronged to spear food effectively and not lose their tasty bounty to the boiling oil. The seating around this table would be low, with cushions on the ground in an inset kind of pit in the floor because my Andorians are big on cuddles and sharing warmth. They're a social species, after all, and their home planet is far from a picnic - sharing is surviving.

Let's move onto other kinds of meals! Some of the canon lore indicates that Andorians eat a kind of flatbread and shredded meat, but very little in the way of dairy. So, from that we can conclude that they have at least some kind of flour. From there we can suppose that if they have a basic type of flour they might also have baking beyond flatbreads, even if they don't go in for fluffy yeast-based breads. That leaves quite a few options, really, but I liked the idea of their flour stemming from a starchy tuber like taro-root, or even potato-like spuds. Fried potato flat-bread sounds pretty great, right?

Now for the meats! Andorians are omnivores with a heavy carnivorous leaning, to my mind, because protein gives us the most bang per buck out of the basic food groups. Meat by itself is a solid food choice, but it gets boring after a while so we, and presumably Andorians as well, come of with different ways to dress it up and make it taste different. Salt would be abundant given the expansive oceans on Andoria and in the lore salty things register as spicy to Andorians, so that's practically a new lease on life food-wise! From there, sauces and marinades are a natural evolution, and I really like the idea that each keth has their own unique recipes that they hoard like gourmet dragons. No one knows what all goes into Clan Tha'an's mustard sauce, but by the Spirits is it good! Still, they can't afford to be too reliant on meat as a food source. Andoria is, as we've discussed, a harsh planet. Hunting for meat is a viable survival strategy, especially in large groups, but hunts fall through or go badly. When that happens, it's imperative that a population has something else to live off of: in this case, tubers! Savoury tubers, sweet tubers, starchy tubers, stringy tubers, every kind of tuber! Tubers are quite a resilient kind of plant and they can grow most places as long as the conditions are mostly right. Deep underground, away from the freezing surface temperatures, tubers would grow quite well - especially near a hotspring!

So, we've got tubers, we've got flour, we've got meat - and you know what, if we've got tubers that means we've got space sweet potatoes. Space sweet potatoes could be refined into a kind of sugar substitute! And that means we have BAKING.

After realizing that, I remembered finding a word in an Andorian-English dictionary which references an endearment and also a sweet treat: shev'tak. Quite a troublesome word, if you've read Émigré!

Humans call each other food-related endearments all the time; honey-bun, sweetie-pie, sugar-boo, dumpling, etc. Why not Andorians too, right? But Andoria is a very harsh planet, and things like sugary treats would be quite unusual, and probably very expensive to grow the base materials for and then refine. Given that their diet is probably heavily meat- and tuber-based, given their biology and the conditions of their homeworld, sugary treats would be a very rare, special-occasion-only thing for the majority of their history. They'd probably end up being made in very small portions, too. When I initially thought about shev'tak, I was tempted to make it some kind of sweet bun, but that seemed a little too boring when I sat down to actually describe them. Eventually, I hit upon the idea of these impossibly delicate little pastries, folded in on themselves and shaped like sixteen-pointed stars (or other multiples of four, which is deeply symbolic in Andorian culture) and filled with a creamy custard. Something plausible and demonstrating the artistry for which Andorians are known, but nothing excessively complicated in terms of ingredients. All the work goes into the presentation, and as a gift shev'tak would be a sign of regard at the least and certainly of affection. It would be the equivalent of a fancy box of chocolates, if each chocolate was hand-made specially for you. In the modern era, much of the craftmanship would be subsidized by advanced machinery and more efficient techniques, much like today on our world, but there would still be a strong association of luxury, of hand-made sweets on a frozen ice planet where very little grows and none of it above ground.

And being called shev'tak, in light of that, may be a little more than just an endearment, I think. It's being called something special, something worth burning time and resources for. Precious, even.

But, of course, Andorians are very stoic. They leave a lot of their social norms unsaid, and trust that these things are simply understood. Even when they aren't.

... Are we having Dagmar/Shral feels yet?

[cowbutch-chastity]

FANFIC APPRECIATION MEME

"FANFIC APPRECIATION MEME

Post recommendations for your ten favourite fanfics and tag the authors if possible. Tell us what you like about their work.

Tag five people of your choice to do the meme too."

I was tagged by both @heroinejinx and @ghostofyaz 

Since I like so many ships I’m going to separate them by ship and do a few for each one (ending up with 12 fics total), tagging the authors mentioned if I can find their Tumblr (If anyone knows the ones I couldn’t find, lemme know)

Warning: a large portion of these are NSFW and general TWs on the appropriate ones

LIGHTCANNON 

- A Tasty Progress Day by @booking-and-blogging This fic is part of Elfen’s Growth not Pain series, and I unfortunately have not had the chance to read the other fics in the series, however you should also read Non Linear Growth, as this fic is part of that story. This is a great piece of smut that contains a lot of good humor and a very unique take on Lux that I greatly enjoy. Easily my favorite Lightcannon piece I’ve read. The prose is wonderful, the emotions are real, give this fic and it’s predecessors a read.

- The Saga of Lightcannon by @cannibalelf This fic by Cannibal is a monster of a wonderful AU, I remember the day on the Lightcannon discord when the idea for a Norse mythology AU was proposed, and Cannibal delivered it guns blazing. The prose is beautiful, the action is thrilling, this interesting take on Lightcannon is a must read if you want to see Jinx beat the shit out of some monsters with a big ol Axe while Valkyrie Lux watches her very gayly. (TW for extreme violence)

MOICY 

- Biological Imperative by @redundantharpoons I believe that this piece is THE quintessential Moicy work. It follows a slight AU that allows Moira and Angela to interact without world ending dangerous and being on opposite sides, and features a wonderful story exploring the way these two interact, and how the prepare to raise a child together. A fantastic work with some lovely sex scenes that made me cry more than once. (TW for many upsetting things in general)

- Ethical Healing by @idle-lark Lark just gets Moira as a character I think, and even though this fic is from the perspective of Angela, it does a wonderful job exploring her and the gray morality that comes with her. Lark’s dialogue is to die for, and watching Angela and Moira slowly struggle with their mutual attraction and what their relationship would mean for their work is wonderful, I’m constantly gripping my chair waiting for the next chapter. Also Moira has a dog named Darwin, and I would die for him.

GRIDDLEHARK

- sting of a wasp by @griddleshark and @thalergetic I’m a sucker for modern AU’s and this fic is probably one of the best in terms of Griddlehark. Gideon and Harrow are very believable characters, they struggle with communication despite their intense want for each other, and the way this fic is written allows you to really experience that. It’s hot, it’s fun, it has jealous and stone butch Gideon and lamp shopping and I love it.

-  Holy Cross, Alaska by softieghost This series is another interesting look at Modern AU Griddlehark, but with the fun kick of putting the two together in a cabin for three months and seeing what happens, and then exploring the depths of their new kinship afterwards in a cross country road trip. The first fic is very emotionally impactful, and does a good job of depicting a character who’s experiencing a psychotic break, as well how Gideon does her best to support Harrow and get her the help she needs. (TW for many upsetting things in general)

CAMPAL

- this time we're done for by @darlingofdots This fic changed my brain chemistry 8 times over, the AU takes Camilla and Palamedes and puts them in the Cohort together as Captain and Physician, and lets the inherent eroticism of nursing someone’s wounds do the rest. Seriously this is some of the best sexual tension I’ve ever read, the little flirts the two give each other while Camilla is fucking bleeding out is fantastic, and then navigating their relationship after finally coming together is utterly stunning. PLEASE read this fic. (TW for extreme violence)

- insatiable is what she is by @palamedes-sextus Honestly it was kind of hard to choose from Necropal’s wonderful selection of works, but I believe this one is my favorite. It’s a post Nona AU where Cam and Pal finally get a bit of domestic bliss, enjoy it, and the have wonderful sex. The smut is lovely, the feelings are very well written, the prose and dialogue are lovely, go give this fic a read. And while you’re at it check out the rest of Necropal’s works.

SYLVAINA

- Last Resort by @sniperct Boy, this one is a fucking doozy. A political marriage AU for Jaina and Sylvanas that initially sets them as brutal enemies, and then explores how hatred and pain can blossom desire, which becomes a needy and strong love. It asks a lot of interesting and challenging questions regarding the ethics of undead in WOW, and how a relationship can change and grow overtime. I have not had the chance to read it’s sequel yet, but if the writing is anywhere near the same quality I’m sure sniperct did a wonderful job with it.

- Chainmaker by @calchexxis A lich queen Jaina AU that sets up a wonderful “Queen/Knight” aesthetic between Jaina and Sylvanas. This fic has an awesome plot with a lot of unique and fun side characters, wonderful fight scenes, great sex scenes, and a really interesting look again at Undead in wow. Cal’s prose is fantastic as is the case with all of their work, and you should certainly give this fic a read.

SHIARA 

- Resolve by Talaraine Resolve is probably my favorite post destroy ending fic in the Mass Effect fandom. It’s a really cool delve into Shepard and Liara when they are apart from each other, as well as their relationship to other members of the ME cast. It has some great action scene’s a lot of plot and mystery, and a lot of gay yearning/pining. (TW for some upsetting things)

- Death and the Healing by @thewriterinthebatcave with art by @shipsnthenight another awesome post destroy ending fic that takes a slightly different take on Shepard and Liara. What I really love about this fic is how they explore Shepard not as a war hero or a savior or a soldier, but as a person who has been absolutely broken by the awful things they have seen. The fic previous in the series, Comatose With Common Sense, has my favorite character study of Shepard from any fic I’ve read. And all of the art included is lovely. (TW for many upsetting things, mind the author’s TWs as well)

[three-duck-houses]

@fe-oc-week day 6 - Supports

So I skipped days 4 and 5, Tragedy and Joy, because I really can't work out what to do for them? The only thing she would consider a tragedy is her mum dying the day she turned 11, and she makes an effort to find as much joy as possible in the little every day things, like sun rises and sun sets and clean air and tasty food and being near people she likes. Just too many things to list

For Supports, I don’t tend to think of Nico in terms of fitting her into the game mechanics (with branching paths and joining different classes), it’s more of a linear story that has conversations at various points that I guess could count as Support convos? Though saying that, I know that one and one conversations with most everyone do all happen at one point or another (if Shez and Byleth get to talk to everyone, so does Nico!) however where most of her story is still living in my head as a giant jumble to half cooked ideas and snippets of dialogue... I'll just share what I've already got for a few people

So here's some of my favourite bits of dialogue and short scenes? =3 (and a few scene outlines because my brain Will Not Work properly)

Conversations with Leonie, Hilda, Lorenz, Felix, Shez, Claude, Sylvain

Leonie:

When Nico first gets to the academy - 

“Leonie! Hello darling, it’s great to see you!” she said, reaching out and pulling her friend into a quick hug before stepping back and holding her by her elbows as she gave her an exaggerated once over. “And oooh, look at you! Dressed up all fancy. It really suits you. Give us a twirl? Niiice. Now give me another one so I can check out something other than your ass? And your legs, phew, didn’t think I’d ever see so much of them out in public like this.”

Leonie burst out laughing as she cuts the start of her second spin short and shoves at Nico’s shoulder with a fond eye roll and faint blush. But she’s quickly reminded that they aren’t at Sauin village where everyone knows what they’re like, and are in fact surrounded by strangers when she hears a few other people also laugh while still more splutter from drinking at the wrong moment or make scandalised sounding gasps. And through it all, a laugh she vaguely recognises. She looked round, and found Lady Hilda sitting at the nearby table next to Yellow cape–no, he was Claude, and she was still kinda mad at him–, and she’d half turned towards her to say hi when Leonie’s words made her freeze

“Yeah, I didn’t either, but my uniform choices were this or a dress. It’s surprisingly comfortable, when you get used to it. What have you picked for yours?”

Her eyes snapped back to Leonie, hoping her friend was joking, but no, no it didn’t look like she was.

“Run that by me again? Did you say the options are a skirt or a dress?”

“Huh? Well, yeah. I was pretty miffed about it too, but they seemed kinda strict about it, long held tradition or something.”

She turned to Shez and Byleth, who were watching the conversation with vague interest, and silently asked them what the fuck with a head tilt and brow lift.

“You don't remember us going to see the tailors last night after we talked to Professor Hanneman? Well, we did, and we've picked out what we want, but you were too out of it to pick yourself, so we said we'd go back later today. Oh. They needed your measurements to get started on your shirts, so me and By got them, so they wouldn’t be touching you.”

Well. That was one thing to be thankful for, she supposed, giving Shez a grateful smile, then glancing down at Byleth when she felt a light touch on the back of her hand to find her cousin looking up at her, the faintest of frown lines between her brows, and shifted her smile over into reassuring.

“I’m fine, honest. Just gonna have to talk to them is all.”

“Aww, what’s the matter Nico?” Leonie asked with a laugh in her voice. “You can’t tell me you’re afraid to show a little leg yourself, I’ve seen what you dance in.”

Shaking her head fondly she turned back, noting that Hilda had left her seat and was walking towards them so she needed to wrap this up quickly.

“You know damn well how much of me I’m happy to show, but when you’ve got some free time how about I take you up on Kilani and you can find out how much of a pain in the ass it is to ride a wyvern in a skirt?”

Hilda:

When Nico gets to the monastery, and she’s meeting everyone along with Byleth and Shez, she’s just introduced herself the the Great Lord’s heirs and offered to do anything she can to help them, since she’s employed by Lady Daphnel and trying to build a good rapport with these noble kids - 

"Except you. If you want me to buy you more beads you need to start learning Almyran properly and come with me. I'm not having you yell at me for buying you what you ask me for again."

Hilda laughed, rolling her eyes, then started her familiar argument

"I asked for lapis lazuli seed beads Nico–"

"No, you asked for blue–"

"And you bought me turquoise cut gems–"

"Turquoise is blue! I bought you blue stones with holes in them! I tried, ok? This is why you need to come with me!"

End of Harpstring, after the class’ first main mission in which Nico took an arrow to the back of the shoulder for Claude, and then an axe hit to her arm while pushing Hilda out of the way of an attack. Hilda and Leonie have gone with Nico back to the eyrie to help her unsaddle Kilani, since her arm’s in a sling. Probably their C support? - 

“Nico, why’d you take that hit for me? You know I’m not actually a delicate flower, don’t you?”

“I know, I know. But I still didn’t want to see you get hurt. Even if you could have taken it, it would still have caused you pain, and I just… don’t want to see you hurt. I honestly do like you Hilda, and I’d like to be friends someday.”

“Wait, you think we aren’t friends already?”

“Huh? I mean, um…”

“Nico!”

“I didn’t want to presume! You are a noble after all, and you’ve paid me to run errands and do stuff for you before! I thought you might still see me as a messenger, or like, a merc who works with Holst sometimes.”

Leonie, who was on the other side of the wyvern stall, started sniggering

“Don’t mind her Hilda, Nico’s pretty bad at knowing when she’s made a friend, she asked me if she could call me one after we’d known each other six months.”

“Leonie!!!”

“Haha, I see! In that case yes Nico, we are friends. And I think Marianne and Lysithea would probably say you are too, so how about we all go and get tea together at some point, yeah?”

“Huh? Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

Lorenz:

Lorenz pissed Nico off when they first met because he didn’t like the way she’d talked to Leonie, and reminded her several times that he was a noble who had standards. So when she went back to Daphnel for her first weekend running messages and she offered to take stuff for the rest of the class, she made a point of charging him, since he was a noble, not one of her classmates or friends. This happens shortly after that

“Hey, um, Lorenz? Do you have a second?”

“Yes? What can I do for you?”

“I. I wanted to apologise for the way I spoke to you on Friday,” she said, dropping into a bow and focusing on his shoes, which were of course perfectly polished. “And for all of my conduct towards you so far, in fact. I know I’ve been a real brat towards you, because what you said when we met kinda annoyed me, but that’s no excuse for my frankly terrible behaviour and attitude. You of course aren’t obligated to, but I was wondering if perhaps we could try to start over?”

His feet shuffled in place while he made a vaguely surprised noise, and she could hear their classmates still tidying books and lingering at desks. She hated having to do this in front of them, but, well, she had made the point of charging him for delivering his message and then warping him away to his dad’s office in front of them too, so it was only fair.

“I accept your apology. And as to starting over, ahem. I am Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

She slowly rose up from her bow, looking up and finding him giving her a small, tight looking smile, but it was a smile nonetheless.

“The pleasure is mine Lord Gloucester. I am Nicolita Eisner, but please, call me Nico. Do you think you might be free at all in the next few days to join me for some hot leaf juice, do you think?”

She bit her lip as she watched his eyes fly wide and he started to splutter, colour rushing to his cheeks and looking like he was trying to be a kettle fit to boil over, before he paused, and narrowed his eyes at her. She shrunk down a little, and felt her shoulders hunch despite herself. Yeah, she’d been trying to wind him up by calling it leaf juice, but she did actually want to have tea with him

“Humph. Very well. But I must insist that you refrain from referring to it as such. While I acknowledge that not all of the blends that are generally called tea deserve the title, those blends do have their own proper names, such as tinctures and tisanes. Come along, and I can begin teaching you the differences now.”

Felix:

End of Harpstring, her dead mother’s birthday. Nico has been trying to keep her head down and not interact with people, and Felix has been trying to goad her into sparring despite her and Byleth telling him to stop - this would be C- I think? -

"Tch, what's the matter? Scared to fight me now I know the sort of dirty tricks you like to play? You truly are pathetic"

That makes her snap, spinning to face him and magic sparking out of her, like in one of those static ball things, and leaving faint scorch marks on the floor near her

"For fucks sake Felix! I'd heard Sylvain was the insatiable one who didn't understand the concept of 'no', but were all those rumours really about you instead? Are you really the type of guy to keep pushing and pushing after a girl's turned you down, and ignore all her attempts to politely make you back off? I’m thinking maybe they were, since Sylvain has been nothing but a gentleman since I met him"

Felix is horrified, because of what she's implying. And Sylvain's a little surprised, because er, does she not remember their date?

“I said no. I said I don’t want to. I am now saying to fuck the hell off and leave me alone and just don’t talk to me about anything, ever, you spoiled little noble brat! It’s more than time you grew the fuck up, learned some manners and learned to fucking listen to people other than yourself!”

Later the same day, Nico returns to the monastery from where she’d stormed off, and goes to find Felix in the dining hall - 

"What do you want?" he bites out, and it's an effort to swallow from how dry her mouth suddenly is as she tries to remember what she wanted to say

She bows to him, a full proper one with all the respect he deserves, and says "I'm sorry. I was in a bad mood but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You did nothing to deserve what I said to you, and my words towards you were completely unwarranted and unjustified, and the insinuation I made was unnecessarily cruel. I truly regret my actions, and any harm I've caused you, and will do whatever you want to make things right, if I can."

She waits, holding the bow, for his reaction, and has to bite her lip to try and hide her flinch when he scoffs

"If you think that drivel you spouted will make everything better–" he starts with a barely suppressed snarl in his voice, and she knows it's rude and will probably make everything worse, but she cuts across him

"No, I don't think it'll make things better. I understand if there is nothing I can ever say or do to make up for the pain I caused you or any damage to your reputation. But in case there is, please know I will say or do whatever you deem necessary to make things right"

Silence. And she internally cringes because it's the sort of silence that means everyone in the hall has stopped and is watching, and if anyone hadn't known what happened before then they'd find out now and this was a terrible idea what was she thinking she was such a fucking moron

"Idiot," Felix spits, followed by a tch of him clicking his tongue. "Go away. I don't want to deal with you right now. You disgust me"

(this one isn’t even dialogue, just how the scene would go, but shhhh, pretend it is?) This would be… either C+ or B I guess? - 

After everyone’s settled down, she goes to Kilani’s saddle bags and pulls out her set of poi, and moves to a bit of the clearing away from Felix, because they still aren’t exactly on the best of terms from the whole insulting him thing, and starts practising. Hits herself a few times, but mostly does ok

She keeps track of the time, and when their shift is over she looks over at Felix, trying to build herself up to face the cold hostility she’s sure she’s about to get from him, but finds him staring at her, looking considering and calculating, and what? Tentatively calls his name, and he blinks a few times, then tch’s, looking away from her. Says her footwork was interesting was all, he was studying it to see if any of it could be applied to his swordsmanship.

She stares at him, because huh. Didn’t expect him to admit that. But her silence seems to bother him, and he shifts, crossing his arms, then huffs loudly.

Asks if she’d be willing to teach him how to do all that, and she’s a little surprised. Because she hadn’t been entirely sure they were back on good terms… They hadn’t interacted much since the whole blow up at him thing?

He tch’s again, and says she had a point, he was wrong, he’s been trying to be better about it. And… he wants to learn how to do what she did. Not just with these balls on strings. But with the moving around in fights. The dodging out of the way, and all the footwork. And he saw her dancing in town, and the moves she used looked... He thinks it’d be useful for his fighting. Please.

It’s the please that gets her. Because wow. Progress!!!

Shez:

So Nico and Shez are pretty close before the game even starts, so it’s difficult to work out what would even count as supports for them. But I really do love this scene so I’mma share it =3

Context is Byleth and Shez started the Ashen Wolves DLC while Nico was away running messages for Judith, only Judith told her to take a few hours off while she wrote supplies so Nico made a giant pool at the Troupes camp and was teaching the kids to swim when she felt Byleth turn back time (long story). So she warped to Byleth while still in her under things, and joined in the fight in that outdoor map below the cathedral bridge, but because of the excess amount of Sothis magic down there her magical senses are dulled, and she kinda hasn’t noticed anyone else who takes part in the DLC are kinda hanging back to stay out of the way of her attacks… - 

A sharp slice across her collarbone as she didn’t step back either quick or far enough, and she hissed in pain, then growled as she felt her top which just got cut through slide down to leave one side of her chest exposed, and then hung loose and distracting off her other shoulder as the knot got stuck in the rings at the back 

“Nico? What’s wro–” Shez’s question dissolved into splutters, and then a grunt of pain, and she glanced over to where she was pretty sure he was to see him sprawled on the floor, cheeks a bright red, and a construct standing over him with an axe.

Sighing, she reached out and waved a hand, shooting ice up from either side of Shez to impale the enemy.

“Oh I’m sorry Shez, don’t tell me you got distracted by my non-existent tits?” she asked sweetly sharp, keeping half an eye on him as he scrambled to his feet

“For the love of–gnnngh! I said it one time, and that was months ago! How are you still not over that yet?”

“You’re right, you did only say I’m flatter than a wash board with grapes nailed to it one time, yeah. But there was another time when you said the only shape I have is because of an excessive amount of ruffles! And maybe I’ll start getting over it when you apologise??”

“What? I already did!”

“Bollocks did you!”

“I did! You were yelling at me in the healers tent and started to cry and stopped as soon as I said I was sorry!”

“When I was in…” She stopped after kicking one of the things in the stomach then spinning round to get the momentum to behead it cleanly. She uses this quick lull in the fight to yank at her top, pulling the knot through the rings so it was free and she could drop it to the floor, where it wouldn't distract her by flapping and shifting and tickling her back

“Shez. Darling. Love. Sweetheart–”

“Uh oh”

“–Light of my life. Did you perhaps apologise to me during the three days I lost because I had a mother fucking concussion from being thrown head first into a tree saving your sorry ass from the giant wolves you pissed off?!”

“. . . well when you put it that way–”

“As soon as we’re done murdering these bitches I’m smacking you upside the head you flaming sack of putrid festering duck shit!”

Claude:

Shahid attacked the Locket while the Goddess’ Rite of Rebirth was going on (because he’d heard someone tried to murder some of the Alliances heirs last month, so the Alliance must be weak right now), so the Deer have to ditch protecting the Sword in order to beat up Shahid. Nico provides some psychological horror to the Almyran’s before warping them all back to the capital, and then has a quick conversation with Nader before sending him back to explain that they’re all going home in one piece this time because of her debt to queen Tia—--

Nico blue screens as she puts together that Tiana is the same name as Oswald’s daughter/Claude mum and the Fodlani born Almyran queen and huh

The next day, when Nico wakes up from her magical overexertion nap and Claude catches her in the eyrie -

“So, about what happened with Nader yesterday. I guess that means you kno–”

She spun around and practically lept towards him, slapping her hand over his mouth as she grabbed his shoulder and pushed him backwards until he hit the wall out of sight of the doorway. She squeezed tighter when his hands seem to instinctively go to her wrist and try to pull her off him, and she had to look away from his eyes and focus on a spot just past his ear when she saw how alarmed, confused, and wary betrayed he was, because it made something in her chest ache something fierce to see how he still didn’t trust her, despite everything. But she pushed that aside for the moment, because he needed to hear this! 

“Look. There is a very fine line between me strongly suspecting something because of facts I’ve pieced together, and me knowing something because someone else has confirmed it. Right now, I can honestly say if anyone asks that I don’t know who or where your parents are. So I need you to be very careful about what you say to me from now on so you don’t tip me suspecting over into me knowing. Understand?”

A light seemed to flicker on behind his eyes, which were darting all over her face as she slowly lifted her hand off his mouth and let go of him, and then he slowly nodded, something like a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips

“Yeah, I understand. I… yeah.”

She nodded at him, then turned to go back to making sure she’d packed all of Kilani’s things properly, but he grabbed her shirt sleeve, gently tugging, and she looked back at him in surprise, because huh?

“Thanks, Nico. For not saying anything yesterday.”

She gave him a look, brows raised and lips quirked, and shook her head with a sigh

“Don’t be dumb, Claude. You don’t need to thank me for something like that. You should know by now I’ll have your back when I can, alright? No matter if that’s from swords, axes, arrows, or info”

~~

And then a few days/a week later, when Judith comes and gets Claude and takes him back to Deidriu to sit in on the Roundtable, Judith brings Nico along too so she can then fly Claude back (so Judith doesn’t have to make the trip there and back again)

And Nico realises that every time she’s spoken Almyran in front of Claude, he’s understood it. And she starts trying to remember all the things she’s said in front of him, and remembers the whole “We could always bribe these three with the literal Prince’s ransom I’ve been offered to track down the youngest prince if you want me to go take that job?” conversation from after Remire

So she goes to find him, and they have a little conversation where she asks him if that was why he didn’t like her at the start of the year, and he’s annoying and reminds her he’s not meant to do or say anything to confirm either way anything she suspects, and she’s very grrrrr at him because he has a point but also she can tell he’s being a wind up, till he laughs and says yeah,  he understood what she said, and while he knew she worked for Judith and she’d said she worked for Gramps, he didn’t know how far her loyalty would last when she was worried about keeping Byleth and her chest rock away from the monastery

And oooooooh, fuck. She’d forgotten she’d talked about that. Yeah, no, not acknowledging that he just said that, moving on

~~

There’s then what would probably be a B support that happens at the White Heron Ball, but I need to rewrite that because I wrote it ages ago and I don’t know if it’ll fit in with various changed I’ve made to the rest now, but tl:dr is Claude asks Nico what she plans to do after they graduate, Nico says not sure, depends what Byleth and Shez do, but probably go back to working for Lady Daphnel at least part of the time, and Claude asks if she’d want to come work for him maybe?

And She kinda does… but she’s got this whole thing about not flirting with people who pay her, and she was really looking forward to trying to flirt with him a little after she wasn’t being paid to kinda look after/keep an eye on him or do whatever he asks her to?

Que conversation where they talk around how they both feel about that, with a few hypotheticals thrown around by both of them ;3

Sylvain:

So what would be their C support (where Sylvain takes her on a date and she doesn’t realise it’s a date because he reminds her so much of one of her troupe cousins and has unconsciously fallen into the sort of banter she has with that cousin) is a giant mess of half formed ideas and half written conversations which I can’t share

But their B- support happens after the Gronder fight, because Nico did something stupid to save some people from the troupe as the students made their way back towards the monastery and completely drained herself of magic and gets stuck in bed (she shares a room with Byleth because reasons) and is bored - 

Nico is stuck in bed for 3 days after they get back. She is bored stupid, but light and sounds are still hurting, and she can only just get herself up and to the toilet without help, so classes are out of the question. But she's finding Manuela was right, and stuffing her face with as many cakes and sweets and sugar as possible is helping immensely, and she's getting plenty of them whenever people visit her

She's laying in bed trying to focus on a book Ashe and Ingrid recommended to her when someone knocks on the door, then opens it without waiting for a reply. It's Sylvain carrying a tray loaded with a tea set and covered plates. He puts it down on the side table Byleth found for exactly that, since she can't even handle going to the dining hall to eat, while Nico slowly gets herself sat up

"You could have waited for me to say come in," she scolds playfully, trying not to laugh at his pout and puppy eyes. "What if I was getting changed or something?"

His pout turns into a crooked grin, and his eyebrows dance a few times.

"Then I would have enjoyed the free show," he smarms, and laughs as he dodges the small cushion she throws at him. "Careful. You'll knock over the tea"

"Uh huh. So. Not that I'm complaining, but who are you using me as an excuse to hide from?"

"What?" he draws out, playing at being offended, the doofus. "Can't I visit my dear bed bound friend without having some sort of ulterior motive?"

"I don't know. Can you?"

He manages to hold his fake offended expression for a few seconds against her flatly amused one, before he laughs, shaking his head as he settles on the edge of the bed

"Ingrid was trying to get me to train with her, but I really was planning on coming to see you anyway. Wondered if you wanted to practice chess, but you don't look entirely with it"

- Sylvain ends up sitting/laying next to her in the bed and letting her lean against him as he reads to her since she's having trouble focusing but the book has occasional pictures she likes to look at, and somehow he's way more comfy than Byleth to lay on??? She thinks it's the boobs, she tells Sylvain solemnly, and it sets him off laughing so hard he has to lay back with his arm over his face for a minute or two. He keeps having to nudge her to remind her to eat because she's sort of dozing off, and refilling her tea and making her drink

- Byleth comes in the room, looking like she’s been in the training hall, and her brow goes up when she sees them, making them both laugh. Byleth starts moving around the room putting her things away, and Nico scoots over towards the wall, tugging Sylvain, and tells By to join them, Sylvain's doing storytime. Sylvain tries to protest, because this seems kinda weird, but Nico pouts at him and asks "Why, don't you want to share a bed with two beautiful ladies?"

"Yeah Sylvain," Byleth agrees in an even more deadpan than usual voice while her eyes sparkle with mischief, walking back to the bed and leaning down next to them, one hand resting on the headboard. "I thought you'd jump at the chance to get us both in bed?"

"Do I need to come back later?" Shez's flat voice drifts in from the doorway, surprising all of them, and Nico is the first to burst out laughing only to immediately wince and stop and clutch her head, burying her face again Sylvain with a groan

Byleth keeps laughing lightly as she grabs Shez before he can leave, dragging him and the fresh tray of tea and cakes into the room. Nico groans again when she sees it, turning her face back into Sylvain's shoulder

"I hate to admit it, but I'm getting kinda tired of cakes. I think I maybe even want a vegetable"

Shez gasps, and she opens an eye to glare at the overly shocked face he's making

"Who are you and where's the real Nico?"

- Shez ends up joining them and sitting at the foot of the bed and all three of them bully Sylvain into continuing story time

[gemmahale]

hello gemma! i have fruit for you 🥭🍌🍈

Fruit Fic Asks!

Ooh, tasty fruit picks, Sy! (I'm allergic to mango though, so I'll share that one with you. 😆)

🥭 Rank from most enjoyable/fun to write to least: Fluff, Smut, Angst, Crack.

Smut and Fluff are tied for 1st (2nd?), Angst, then Crack. (I struggle with Crackfic, lol.)

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

I think I'm fucking funny all the time - especially when I get to make a terrible pun. I think my title choice for The Price of Pegging is pretty good. I'm honestly drawing a blank right now on other jokes and references I've made, yeesh. Do you have one I've made? (No pressure, promise.)

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Soap is so much more than the goofball most authors portray him as. Gaz is so much more than the "good one." Honestly, I struggle a lot with the simplification of many of the characters because it ignores so much of their nuances that are there to poke at. I'm also drawing a blank here for common tropes - I suppose that I usually make Roach HoH, not deaf (common fanon interp), Gaz is usually down bad for his boo-thang, Soap is usually an artist (again, fanon for the reboot, but it's pervasive for me). Most of my OC's will have jobs they (mostly) enjoy if employed, and will all have some sort of hand-made comfort item (quilt, afghan, stuffie, etc.)

[chasing-rabbits]

Oh but on a better note I’m going over to my parents tomorrow for lots of tasty food and maybe watch a movie or play some games idk yet my sleepings sorta fucked itself again.

I have too many dietary issues so food is really a big deal for me now (although things are definitely improving in terms of choice at supermarkets but its still expensive so eh) But there’s this place that does GF vegan cream teas, cakes and they keep expanding to other things. Anyways mostly I just really love their scones especially because they now have a dairy free alternative to the clotted cream & its so good! They also have some savoury items now too. I really want to try their quiches. Usually my mum also gets me some of their mini cake loafs & brownies, the mini cake loafs are the kinda thing you’d expect for a cream tea so not massive but they now do proper sized cake loads actually their pretty fucking big. Oh and we found a place that does a GF Vegan birthday cake that is soo good. It uses more of a chocolate ganache instead of icing and the centre is raspberry it’s not a jam like a Victoria sponge has but its made with real raspberries and its really tasty and fresh. It’s from this place in the UK called Lola’s cupcakes they mostly have pop up stalls that’s how we found them well my brother did when he was in London they had a stand near the station selling cupcake versions of the same thing. Oh and my dad managed to snag some of Aldis vegan ‘not salmon’ its meant to be smoked salmon so heres hoping it tastes good. I find fish stuff is harder to replicate then again it depends I tried some good ‘fish cakes’ before but I tried some vegan ‘prawns’ years ago that were disgusting and some vegan ‘tuna’ that was oddly sweet. But it is one of the few items that is GF. Veganuary kinda sucks now because most of the stuff that comes out isn’t GF but there’s still some gems actually Aldi surprised me with how many items were GF in the fake meat section as prior to this they had 1 fake meat item that was GF now they have many including ‘pulled pork’ which I didn’t expect to be GF at all. I just hope they keep these new lines after veganuary is over cos last year they didnt well some stayed but most disappeared and it sucked and it’s not like it doesnt sell either my local Aldi was wiped out of the vegan salmon and a lot of the other stuff when I went I got so upset so my dad went to the one near him he did however by 3 packs of the stuff so I really hope I like it.

[hybrid-the-folf]

Prank Wars

TW: Cursing, mentions of death, panic attacks

Azar didn’t remember how this battle started off, but he did know that he would get Rook to pay for her transgressions. Ever since they had gotten used to being gulped by Toby, it had become a game to offer the other person up as a ‘sacrifice’. He had tied down Rook multiple times for the beast, at one point even creating an audio lure for him, while Rook had trapped him in many freezers or had let Toby know if he was chilling in any glasses of booze. Currently he was tied down on the floor with enchanted rope that he just couldn’t cut or burn through.

It seemed like no matter how hard he struggled he could not break himself out. He had tried begging Tabrix and Taggon to free him when the two cathar had passed by, but other than setting him in a less crushable place, had done nothing. Tabrix had even given him a fucking wink, showing that he knew full well the position and fate he was leaving him in. Azar had cursed after them, trying vainly to get out. He made a mental note to get them back later as well. The only thing he had to avoid was any pranks Tabrix had up his sleeve. Taggon wasn’t as into the pranks as his twin was, making him a much less threatening foe, but he would pay as much as his brother would should any pranks come his way.

As he heard the familiar thumps of that bitchs footsteps, he thrashed around in a frenzy. Today was not going to be the day for that fucker, not if he had anything to say about it. Then again that was his mentality each time, and rarely did he succeed. While Tobias kept saying that he had let him go because of a joke or he just wasn’t feeling it that day, Azar thought his skills were better than those truths. Not being able to cut through it in any other kind of way, Azar decided to bite down and chew on the rope before that damned titan got any closer.

The sight that befell Tobias as he entered the room was Azar, up on a table, tied with rope, trying to grind his teeth through it. “Huh, what happened to you? I wouldn’t do that by the way, it’s bad for your teeth.”

“Fuck you, I am getting out of these ropes no matter what! And you already know what happened to me!” Azar said through the rope.

“No, I really don’t. All I see is a tasty little snack that’s been left out for me,” the fucken cat said with a smirk, teleporting both of them into a bedroom.

“The fuck did you say?!” Azar shouted, thrashing against the binds. “I am not a fucking snack gods damn it!”

“Then why do you taste so good? Or a better question, why are you tied like an offering then?”

“I didn’t have a choice in either category. Rook was the one who did this. You should go after her, not me,” Azar said, unconvincingly.

“Nah, I don’t feel like it.”

“Why?!”

“She’s so far away and you're right here.”

“So the reason no is because you're lazy?”

“Maybe,” Tobias said, picking up the helplessly bound morsel.

“NO! Put me the hell down right now!”

“Why should I?” Tobias asked, dangling the small man over his head.

“Because I am not food!”

“You smell like food,” the fucker said after a playful sniff. “You taste like it,” he said after a long, drawn out lick. “And with those wings of yours you are at least bird-like and I am a cat, so are you really sure you're not.”

“Yea-Ye-Yes,” Azar sputtered.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” Tobias said, dropping him in the awaiting maw. Azar landed face first on the giant muscular tongue with a splat, getting a nice bit of drool soaking his hair and face. With a grunt, he tried to get himself off of the stupid thing, but the rope made it damn near impossible. A bit of magic and Tobias dulled his fangs a bit, not needing to puncture his poor captive, and started to gently gnaw on the body. Being as in tune with what was going on in his mouth as he was, he easily felt the feeble attempts to kick at his tongue.

He responded to this by moving him to the inside of his cheek, licking him mercilessly before rolling him back onto his teeth and continuing to gnaw. “Really?!” Azar shouted. A dip of the head downwards and a throwing of it backwards was all the answer Azar got.

He let out a yelp, not expecting the motion, but landed perfectly fine on the sponge-like appendage. Pinning Azar to the hard palate of his maw, Tobias slowly drew his tongue over the little one repeatedly. The steak-like flavor soaked into his taste buds, eliciting a purr of pleasure in response. This, combined with the fun torment he was inflicting, was his part of the fun in this endeavor, the rest being solely for his smaller companions. He gently squished his prey to the roof of the mouth as he swallowed the excess saliva.

Meanwhile, Azar did everything he could to escape, knowing it was useless, but enjoying it all the same. Growing bored of the useless fight, Azar went limp, accepting whatever ‘hell’ his titan threw at him. After a bit more tasting, he felt the appendage slip him into place easily, and relaxed as the place he was in tilted back. When the head was all the way back, the muscles near his legs tugged at him to go into that fleshy tube. All the way up to his torso was sucked in, and with another wet ‘glk’ the rest came with.

Listening to the sounds all around him, he found comfort in the heartbeat and breathing of the beast. So long as those functions continued, the being of chaos would be kept alive. It also meant that Azar would have protection against any and all threats that dared to face him. Sure it might get a bit annoying with the pranks, but it was worth it in the end. As he landed in the pool of saliva at the bottom of the chamber, he heard the titans' voices from all around him. The first few times of hearing it like this had been unnerving, but he had learned to find peace in it. After all, the humanoid cat was basically now his mech.

“You get comfortable in there, I have a few things I need to get done today.”

“What, so I’m just stuck here now?”

“Yep.”

“Screw you.”

“I love you too.”

It took until late into the night for Azar to get released. He didn't know what the big guy was up to all day, but he did know that he wanted out of that storage stomach all day…most of the day…only the very end bit. The ride up was always worse than the ride down, the throat muscles having to work harder and against gravity rather than with it. At the very least there was always a warning before the ride.

The chamber collapsed in on itself, forcing the tiny form within to rise higher and higher. As soon as the process started, it was a quick but crushing trip back to the mouth, in which Azar couldn't help but pant a little. He didn't have long for this as soon he was tipped out onto an awaiting palm, the tongue carefully covering the sharp fangs. Looking up at the looming colossus, he squirmed around in the hand, trying to cover it as much as he could in saliva. "You keep that up and I won't free you from those ropes," Tobias said with a devious grin.

"Fine," Azar huffed, going limp. A flinch couldn't be helped as a dangerously sharp claw, about as long as his ankle to his knee, lifted up the bindings and sliced clean through them. "Just relax. I'm not going to hurt you," Tobias soothed, running a digit along the little one's back.

"I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me as much as you do," Azar snipped.

"I felt you flinch."

"I can handle myself."

"If you say so, tiny," Tobias said, his usual playfulness back. "Besides, if there's an issue Tabrix will always help you though it."

"Yeah, I always wondered where you got that therapeutic side to ya. Just didn't expect it to be you'd own kid."

"Yeah, I'm proud of him. Anyway, you should get going back to your own people." With that, and a few goodbyes said between the two, Azar opened a portal to his own, smaller cathar. His rule was an odd one. A multitude of kingdoms all bowed to him as emperor over him, all being made up of different species. Whereas Tobias only had to worry about his own species, he had to worry about a number of them. Shaking his head, he looked up to see the house of his son.

There were a few people like him, powerful beings of a number of species called Altars, and those more common species with lesser magic were called Demons. While Altars appeared in the world seemingly at random, Azar was a special type, one that was made of a multitude of magic. Thus, while he was human, his son, another created altar, was a pure black cathar. The only thing that separated him from his people were the venom glands in his mouth and his tolerance to extreme heat. Still, even being from different species Azar loved him to bits.

As Star opened the door, Azar looked at him with the usual pride in his eyes. After a few drinks, Star retreated to his room, leaving his father out on the couch to think over his revenge for that damned griffon. It took awhile for everything to come into fruition as someone or another was busy with work. It was later into the evening after a few weeks when he and Rook were in Toby’s castle. Since the place was rigged to detect magic, Azar knew that was one thing he couldn’t use, at least against the cat. He’d also be going up against someone who had been in more battles than he could imagine, so something obvious was also out of the question.

The best plan was to do something directed at Rook that made it clear the intention. He decided on a can of cool whip, crafting it from his own magic. Since Rook's flavor was on the sweeter side, the topping would pair wonderfully. Using his magic to amplify his hearing, he heard the signal to get ready, Toby’s breathing pattern. This was far more recognisable than his footsteps, as for some reason when the realms collided, it decided not to give the titans booming steps. Unless one wanted that and used magic to do it, it simply wouldn’t happen.

As the breathing got closer, he summoned the cool whip, slammed his body on the button, and ran. “What was that for?!” Rook sputtered as she gave chase. When the looming figure of Tobias entered the room, Rook let out a playful groan. “Really Azar?”

“That's for being tied down last time!”

“I didn’t expect to have a game of cat and mouse tonight,” Tobias said, mostly to himself. He let out a small laugh at the sight of the whipped cream. He already knew what they wanted, but this was just too good. The two little ones didn’t respond, only trying to run to the door opposite the one Toby came out of. “Do you honestly expect to win against the God of the Cathar?”

“Just because you have God-like powers and created the cathar does not mean that we won’t win. Not even the fact that you control this entire castle will stop me. Besides, I brought you an offering!” Azar said, letting Rook catch up before picking her up and tossing her at the approaching titan.

“What the fuck!” Rook cried out as she flew through the air before being caught in a furred hand. “I'm not getting out of this one am I?”

“Thanks for the snack,” Toby called out, eyeing his prize greedily. “No Rook, you are not.” Tobias raised his hand above his head, letting his tongue extend to cover his bottom fangs, essentially creating a slide of sorts.

“Is big,” Rook said, eyeing the back of his throat with nervous excitement. She wasn’t as worried about the fangs at this point, or the merciless tongue, but it was still a strange feeling to be completely trapped from the outside world by someone so powerful, especially if the place in question was one that would usually cause harm. The closest feeling she could describe it to was being in a holy temple or ground. You felt weak, like you weren’t supposed to ever enter the area, but you also felt humbled. In this case, it was being offered a location within the temple of a person for a little while, their deepest core. The place where you could be hurt the worst, and where you could do the same, and yet no harm came to either.

“Is inviting. It growls for you,” Toby said, patting his middle and causing his own stomach to growl as he did.

“What the hell,” Rook yelped, not expecting it. Toby just laughed as he brought his tongue back out. As Rook felt the hand tip, she braced herself as she was downed like a shot. Concern for the big guy flashed through her mind as he had not slicked her down for the trip. That typically caused pain in the throat, but she was quick to remind herself of his magic. Running a finger along his throat, he felt the descent of the small griffon.

As she landed in his storage stomach he patted a hand over it, then raised his head in search for his second snack. Sure he was only supposed to have Rook, as per the rules of the game, but two were much more enjoyable. Scanning the floor, he spotted Azar near the door. He kept an eye on the miniature human (discounting the wings) as Azar crawled under the door. With a quick snap of the fingers and an opening of the mouth, he teleported the tiny body to be flying out of the door, in the air this time instead of on the ground. Azar had thought he was clear of the giant kitty as he cleared the door, but as soon as he felt himself go airborne a yelp sounded from his mouth. This fear was made worse as he saw the razor sharp teeth under him. Instinct took over as fear overpowered his thoughts. Thankful to fuck that he landed on the toungue, he quickly scrambled back toward the opening.

In his past, he had been a titan hunter. His job was to kill titans for money. This was a part of his past that he never liked thinking about, guilted nightmares still haunting his mind. But the instincts he had built up during those jobs had saved his life more than once. So as those memories came rushing to the surface, all he could see was the death and acid that laid at the back of the throat, or the mangeling that he’d get if the titan’s mouth he was in decided to start chewing.

No longer was he safe, there lied danger. Feeling the miniscule shivering and hearing the panted breaths, Toby spit the man out, cursing out an apology as he ran a finger over the little back repeatedly. Azar didn’t respond to the first few attempts at his attention, only staring at those jaws in terror. It was only when his head was forced to look up into Tobias’ eyes that he started responding. “Fuck! Just answer me god’s damn it! What’s going on?!”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it! And that wasn't even the answer to my question!” Tobias had to fight the instinctual response to curl his fingers into a fist.

“Fine. I wasn’t expecting to go flying through the air like that. When I saw your fangs under me I panicked. I know you won’t hurt me, but you're still a titan. One wrong move and I’m dead. I’ve seen too many deaths like that just because of a single action.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you like that,” Tobias said, looking away.

“You're fine,” Azar replied, slapping one of the calloused areas of the pawed hand.

“No, it’s really not.”

“Are we going to do this or not?”

“Are you sure you're ok enough to get swallowed by me?"

“Yes, I am.”

“Then prove it,” Tobias said as he put his hand against his open mouth. The tongue was rolled out before Azar like a red carpet. Silently he cursed the stupid cat for making him be the one to take the first action this time. Taking a deep breath, he crawled onto the muscle, pools of drool appearing in each place he put his weight. As soon as he was completely in, the tongue was pulled inside as well.

Small, careful licks covered his body, Tobias was still clearly worried about him. Rolling his eyes, Azar pushed against the muscle, trying to pin it under him. “Is that really all you’ve got?”

This got a reaction out of the cat as the muscle went fully into action. Though this pleased Azar, he kept trying to pin it under him. After throwing his full weight onto it multiple times, and getting viciously licked in response, Azar started getting pushed towards the back of the throat. Knowing what was going to happen next, he let his legs get swallowed down, but grabbed on tightly to the back of the tongue. No matter how much Tobias tried to swallow, he could not get his little friend down. “So that’s how you want to play this game?” he asked rhetorically before shaking his head around like a mad man.

“I’ve seen that trick before!” Azar shouted.

“How about this one?” Tobias’ tongue suddenly grew outward, retractable papillae coming out of their sheaths.

“I thought you guys didn’t have any tongue barbs!” Azar yelped. For the moment Tobias did not respond, only using the prehensile tongue to grab onto the obstruction at the back of his throat. Gulping he brought both the tongue and the little man down his throat. When he thought that he had brought them down far enough, he withdrew his tongue, leaving Azar alone. He splashed down into the small puddle of spit, accidentally landing on Rook in the process.

“I must have misspoke before. We do have them, but they are sheathed in case we ever need to groom ourselves.”

“Huh,” Azar said, readjusting his position so that Rook was lying on top of him.

“I will get you back for this,” Rook said sleepily. Azar only shook his head, knowing that when she did get him, the prank war would only continue. He was glad to play along, but he still had to give both parties a hard time when he could. As he listened to the sounds of Tobias heart, lungs, and digestive tract, as well as the slight swaying at each step the titan took, he felt himself lulled to sleep. He laughed to himself as he remembered just how much trust he had given his friend, not ashamed in any bit for it. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around why he had been given a second chance after all he had done, but those were problems to be talked out with Tabrix at a later date, not now. Now was time for rest, and with a yawn, he did just that.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Hello, friend.

You know I'm gonna ask for a 🥰

And I'm in my Javi G feels (surprise surprise) so I'm going there.

<3

Hello, friend!! Thanks for dropping in and playing!! I hope you’re having a lovely weekend so far!

And, you can’t have “we do soft here” as your tagline and then go asking for angsty HCs. Well, actually, you can because you’re a grown adult person who can do whatever the fuck they want - especially here on the tumble - but you’re right, it was not a surprise to see that you wanted a sweet take on the sweetest man to ever be involuntarily associated with a life of crime.

A romantic HC for Javi Gutierrez: When it’s his turn to pick what to eat on date night, his go to (unless it’s a special occasion) is sloppy joes.

Now, I know this may seem like a strange choice, but hear me out.

Javi has lived a life of extreme luxury. Name a delicacy and he’s tried it. He’s eaten at several Michelin star restaurants. His palate is so damn refined. He wines and dines with the best of them, and loves when he gets to take you to fancy or exciting places, because even though they’re old hat to him in a way, he gets very excited to see you experience a place or taste a dish that you never have before. And it’s not at all about being flashy with money or flaunting his wealth, it’s genuinely about giving you new experiences and sharing his world with you.

But just because he’s a billionaire and has tried some of the most extravagant and luscious and sophisticated food there is doesn’t mean that he doesn’t also like cheap food when it tastes good.

He first heard about sloppy joes when he was still with Gabriela. The name of the dish intrigued him and made him laugh, and when he was told that they’re actually quite tasty, he just had to try one. When he made the suggestion to Gabriela though, that they have them for dinner one night (Javi even offered to cook, which honestly could have gone terribly… for the surfaces in the kitchen, anyway) she said she didn’t want to eat something that was called “sloppy”. Always one to try to please his partner, he dropped the pursuit of the sloppy joe.

Until he met you.

Because you never scoff at his ideas or dismiss the things he tells you he wants to do or try. You never expect things to be a certain way just because of what his last name is or how many (so many) zeros trail the number in his bank account. You understand how curious and adventurous he is, and you support and encourage those parts of him. You love him for those traits. And he knows that.

That being said, you did chuckle a little the first time he brought up sloppy joes for dinner. You didn’t say no, though, and when he asked what was funny, you shook your head and smiled. “It’s not funny, Javi it’s just… unexpected.” And then you kissed him and explained why it was unexpected, telling him that the name of the sandwich is literal, and that there’s no graceful way to eat them.

“So the sauce is very messy?” He asked, one eyebrow quirked high enough to disappear beneath the curls that fell over his forehead.

You told him it was.

Nodding slowly, his eyes started to shine and a grin started spreading over his lips. “It gets on your fingers?” He picked up your hand and twined it with his much larger one.

“Mmhmm,” you hummed, tongue flicking out to wet your lips. “And on your face.”

He pulled you closer by your joined hands to nuzzle against your cheek before leaving a quick kiss there. “And what about your shirt? Your clothing? Does it leave stains?”

Still holding your hand, he let his free fingers slip under the hem of your shirt to skate over the skin of your stomach. The contact made you sigh around a smile, a sound that he absolutely cherished. You confirmed that yes, the sauce stained everything.

“Well then I am sure it will taste delicious on your fingers.” He brought your hand to his lips and pressed them to the tip of your index finger. “And on your lips, too,” he murmured before kissing the corner of your mouth. Grasping the fabric of your shirt, he dropped his voice and leaned in to speak directly into your ear. “And if anything gets messy? We will just have to take it off and put it in the laundry.”

When he put it that way, you were convinced that sloppy joes were in fact the perfect date night dinner.

[c0rpseductor]

also like its kind of funny bc in terms of video game franchises dragon age actually DOES do fairly (?) well when it comes to representation of lgbt characters. at least by sheer volume. and a lot of games whose writing i prefer fall extremely flat in comparison. so it probably seems silly that im so much more ready to tear da apart

like in ffxiv, emet-selch isn't actually gay despite how many posts i make about his loving joan crawford and dolly parton. he's heavily queercoded (ESPECIALLY in the localization) in order to remind you he's the bad guy. like, it's cheap; the best xiv can do in terms of lgbt rep among its cast is Heavily Imply a relationship between ryne and gaia, and i don't deny that it's really great that they did that, but it's also like...not much. and i think it does suffer from this pitfall of like, "we intentionally chose pretty teenage girls in a very chaste relationship to Imply Homosexuality About, because male homosexuality is gross." like i'm not saying Less Lesbian Rep Is Good or something or that it's a contest or some shit like that, i just think it's clear in this case they made this choice bc the devs have kind of evinced a bit of disgust toward gay men. most of the time (not all the time!) when male homosexuality or homoerotic imagery with men is brought up in the game i think it's sort of as a gross-out joke. also, as sort of an aside, transmisogyny is like. A Gag That Happens Way Too Much. However i think xiv is a much better-written game/series as a whole and i will be sucking it off until the end of time.

dragon age is like, nominally a lot less homophobic and transphobic, but i feel a lot more critical of and less generous toward its representation of lgbt characters because this is also a Big Selling Point for them. bioware i think has sort of built this image as like a really character-driven sensitive liberal crunchy kind of studio (i just really wanted to say crunchy lol) and seem to kind of pride themselves on having this really deep tactful groundbreaking lgbt rep. so if it falls short of those standards i'm going to be mad at being ripped off, naturally, and at bioware for patting their own asses for doing ultimately very little.

ffxiv did not at any point try to sell me Gay Rep. ffxiv did not say "hey, we're square enix and we're a really cool progressive company, we're going to make an mmo for the gays!" square enix looked me in the eyes and said "we have an mmo. our character creator has catgirls, and almost every single outfit in the base game is unconscionably hideous," and i said "HOLY SHIT CATGIRLS!!!" and have been playing it for nearly a decade now. i've never felt cheated out of sensitivity square promised me. i kind of know the score with them, as a company they can be pretty regressive and that often reflects in how they handle real-world issues in their games.

to use a food metaphor here, if i'm told i'm going to be given the most enormous delicious tasty stake ever and then it's like...good enough but ultimately very average, i'm going to feel a little cheated and probably be meaner about that steak than i would if i were simply told "i made steak. have some." i might even appreciate a kind of middling or even Not That Good steak without complaint if i'm not hyped up for no fucking reason first. this is kind of my feelings.

[itsbenedict]

I play video games a bunch, and you can go ahead and report that incredible never-before-seen scoop to the news. Here's some ones I played this year!

Roguebook

This here is a Slay the Spire clone, no two ways about it. It's a good one, though, with gorgeous visuals. It's also got a fancy schmancy overworld system, where instead of picking paths down a graph, you have to use inks and paintbrushes to reveal the path to the boss by painting in a big hex grid with terrain. Lot of interesting choices to make, mechanically, and a replayability mechanic (Epilogues) that you can be done with pretty quick without sucking up your time for months.

(Story-wise, there's basically nothing going on. You get to the end the first time, it goes "oh, hm, it looks like beating the final boss didn't solve our problem of being stuck in this magic book! better go back to the start and do it over a bunch of times on harder difficulties!" and then you do all those harder difficulties... then it does not have an ending. At all. There literally isn't anything but the setup. Wow.)

Elden Ring

The big one! Ate up 120 hours of my life over the course of like a month and a half. I'd never played a Souls game before, wanted to see what the hype was, and... oh! The hype was about them being very fun! Really comes down to the very tightly-designed combat, I think- but I also wasn't expecting the level of creativity in the world and monster design. There's some... really wild shit in this game! I was just expecting generic swords and sorcery, not, like... volcano snake cult, upside-down crystal library, jar guys, flesh-fungus hellscape, Big Robot Cat... it builds a surprisingly unique world, with a lot of attention to detail.

also i managed to beat malenia (blade of miquella, as she reminded me very very many times) so i'm going to have to be awarded a large number of Gamer Points

AI: The Somnium Files

Jesus entire christ, this game. It's, uh. Uchikoshi unleashed, is what it is. The premise is- you're a detective investigating a murder using a special machine that lets you dive into suspects' dreams to try and find clues to the truth, and... it, uh, does a lot with its premise! It's thoroughly bonkers, and manages some pretty tasty twists. Very fun character designs and dialogue writing, and a well-structured mystery that manages to tie everything together in a really satisfying way.

However. There is gameplay.

The gameplay (when you're not doing the classic detective game stuff of searching crime scenes and interrogating people) is, in a word, bad. It's... well, there's the action sequences, which are... very entertaining, and exquisitely silly, but they're pretty much just quick-time events and they'll game over you given half a chance, which everyone already knows isn't fun. But the real fly in the ointment is the main mechanic of the game, Psyncing- the thing where you go into dreams to find clues.

Psyncing is two different mechanics- both of which are individually fun, but which trade off against each other and neutralize any fun to be had with either of them.

Psyncing is an oddball point-and-click adventure game segment where you investigate surreal dreamscapes, interact with bizarre setpieces, and fuck around with dream logic to attempt to solve environmental puzzles.

Psyncing is a time-management puzzle where you need to correctly sequence the time multipliers on your moves in order to reach an optimal solution before time runs out.

Because you're on the clock, you can't take your time and have fun doing wacky stuff to the environment and enjoying the flavor dialogue. Because the puzzles are all nonsense dream logic that boil down to random guessing 80% of the time, you can't sequence optimal moves unless you know the puzzle solutions in advance. The two halves of this equation have complete anti-synergy with each other, and made me dread every time another Psync came up. (Plus, a lot of the dreams are just really uncreative and tedious, like the crate-pushing puzzle at the docks or the aimless wandering through the dark woods.)

That said, the madcap fun and competent mystery writing are well worth slogging through the psyncs for, so I still recommend it. (At time of writing, it's 80% off on Steam!)

The Sekimeiya: Spun Glass

I'll confess, I've barely started this one- sure, I've sunk eleven hours into it, but I'm still on chapter one, and... this is absolutely the densest Zero Escape-ass mindfuck mystery game I've ever played. Some people are trapped in a mysterious facility, Weird Time Shit is happening (maybe??), impossible events are occurring one after another- and you've got to solve it, and they give you tools to do that in detail. The game gives you not just a log feature, but a log feature with a search function and a notes section complete with text editor, among other organizational tools to keep track of what the fuck is happening. And you'll need it, too- everything happens so much. I have no idea if it all comes together properly, but it's clearly putting in the effort.

(Character writing seems a little weak so far, with the exception of Sai who is trying so hard, bless his heart. Fans of Cordyceps will probably recognize Arc here.)

The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe

Remember The Stanley Parable? Comedy walking sim about the nature of interactive narrative, where you the player play merry hell with the intentions of the narrator as he desperately tries to get you back on track? Very fun game.

This is the modern updated HD rerelease! A genre of game I normally don't go in for, except that this is actually a trick, and it's actually a full sequel wearing the skin of its predecessor as a disguise. (And- well, the original game is in there, in its entirety, so it does pull double duty.) Its status as a sequel/rerelease is mined for every ounce of comedy it can muster, which is a lot. One of the funniest games I've ever played, next to maybe Portal.

Fate Stay/Night

It took some serious effort for me to even get a hold of this thing- they don't make it easy to purchase legitimately. It was a whole adventure of looking up patches and visiting shady torrent sites and translating japanese websites- @yumantimatter was a huge help.

Fate is this huge influential thing that I'd been on the outside of for a while, and I didn't know what to expect- hearing out-of-context stuff about Grand Order, the gacha game, led me to expect just, standard waifu stuff with a magic system that existed to justify Doing Whatever, but... I was really pleasantly surprised with how deep and well-written the original actually is! Like, the magic system is a little loosey-goosey in places, but they do a great job circumscribing what's possible, defining the limits, and foreshadowing the elements that are relevant to the story. And it really does manage to be the kind of story that's really about figuring things out and dealing with a social puzzle, not just big magic shonen battles. It gets shockingly complex and compelling, for...

...uh, for- it's, um, an eroge, it turns out. Like, there's sex scenes. They're not good. The version I played had a "censor H content" option, which- here's the thing about that: it doesn't just like, blur things out, it replaces them entirely, with new content that is way better and more relevant to the story and even more visually interesting, which, uh, speaks to the quality of the pornography. I recommend turning that option on.

Not that there isn't sexual content without that enabled- like, it still has dating sim elements, and Shirou's romantic relationships with the various girls are plot-important, and- it's surprisingly mature and compelling, actually. Normally I groan at that kind of thing, but was invested in the drama here! There's some emotionally fraught dynamics going on! I was really rooting for these kids 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚊𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚜, 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝟷𝟾, 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚞𝚜, 𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝 𝚞𝚙.

anyway taiga bestgirl. (unless taiga doesn't count in which case rin bestgirl.)

Grounded

Iiiiiit's a survival crafting game! You probably know how those go. Big open world, you gotta collect resources and build a base to survive, stay topped off on food and water and healing and stuff. Doesn't do anything too special mechanically, but...

...but it's also Honey I Shrunk The Kids, the game. It all takes place in this one backyard, which is richly detailed and full of cool setpieces and dangerous new threats. The world's not procedurally generated or anything- it's designed, and it's packed with stuff- most of which will kill you. The survival crafting aspects are kind of eh, but just being in this world is incredibly fun and unique. Would love to get a group together to play the multiplayer sometime.

Pokemon Violet

Such mixed feelings on this. Like... it was so obviously rushed to release, the crunch must've been awful, it could've been a way better game if they'd had time to fix the bugs and add texture to the world... but the new things it's doing are good ideas and a lot of it really works!

Like- just for starters, the plot. Pokemon has never had a good plot! It's had, at best, an unobtrusive plot, and at worst just the most tedious Bad Guy Team Want Destroy World With Legendary Pokemon cookie-cutter nothing plot. But this time, it's good! They did a good job! They hired writers! The Team Star subplot is both funny and a well-executed tearjerker, the main League journey is supported by a really fun rival character, and the big box art legendary plot plot is- holy shit! They tried some things! Most of them even worked! I cried a couple times! The final mission thing, when you learn what the deal is with Miraidon and Professor Turo- they took some serious risks there! It's good enough I can't even say more because I don't want to spoil it!

But also, there's a bunch of good quality-of-life stuff. The use of Miraidon and movement upgrades makes getting around the world feel good, and the titan fights feel rewarding. Having PC boxes available at all times saves a ton of hassle, as does putting pokemon centers outside so you don't have to sit through a loading zone. Allowing you to freely recall old moves at no cost lets you try out riskier, more gimmicky strategies than you'd ordinarily go for. On-field pokemon and opt-in trainer battles let you set your own pace. They put some real thought into what they were doing!

Buuuuuuut it's clear it needed more time in the oven. Multiple times I ran into a "random encounter" which was just me running into a pokemon in the overworld before its texture had loaded in, is how bad the pop-in is. The world is so empty and ugly, with N64-tier airbrushed-on textures, and with only consumable items as rewards for exploration. It's a total waste of an open-world movement paradigm. Dexit is back, and this time they couldn't even keep all the stuff they already modeled and animated in SwSh somehow. It's really embarrassing, and I really wish I had the version of this game that'd had an extra year in development.

Forget the Golden Witch and Empire of the Golden Witch

Two Umineko fangames by DWaM. Forget is a purple-truth logic gameboard with a very tasty answer-submission mechanic and a spooky metaplot, and Empire is a Her Story-style look-up-terms-in-a-database-'em-up that turns you into a total crazy person screaming about lizard people and the JFK assassination.

Both assume you've played through Umineko no Naku Koro ni, which I've recced before, and- if you've played Umineko, then I'm pretty sure you want more Umineko, and this is some really good more Umineko.

Peglin

It's another roguelike deckbuilder Slay the Spire clone, but this time instead of a new map mechanic, you've got pachinko instead of cards. It's hard to explain exactly how it works (you deal damage to enemies by racking up points on the pinboard, but there's a ton of mechanics that make it more complicated), but despite being in early access and graphically pretty ugly, it's pretty fun!

...And also insanely frustrating, because it turns out that pachinko is an insanely frustrating game. Random chaos will save you and it will kill you, and you'll be screaming at your computer to HIT THAT ONE, THE ONLY ONE YOU NEED TO HIT, THE THING YOU'VE DODGED FIVE TIMES IN A ROW WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU I'M LITERALLY DYING RIGHT NOW. You gotta have the temperament for it.