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leuchtekopf · 10 months

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Created in gods image

Hi, please read this as a little foreword for context . I was lately confronted with a (christian) religious person misgendering and deadnaming me (on purpose, as I was only known to them under my current name and they found out the other and started calling me that.) And I have not been getting in a confrontation with that person, but I was very scared that it may come to this in the future and I started to think about what I might say. As I was brought up catholic I know a lot about this and this is what I would want to say to this person if we ever talk about this again. I am nonbinary and and I think something of a atheist/agnostic right now but I wanted to write this sympathetic to someone with christian beliefs. (So this is kind of a strawman* argument? I mean I have not been in a confrontation about this, I think this is more about projecting my fears onto another person.)

*A straw man is a form of argument and an informal fallacy based on giving the impression of refuting an opponent's argument, while actually refuting an argument that was not presented by that opponent. [Wikipedia]

Created in gods image

You talk to me of god and you say that I am unnatural. That I must accept what god has given to me. And it makes me think. Because I do accept what god has given me. Let me explain: God has created me and you and everybody on this earth.

God created day and night. But they did not separate them completely. They gave the night parts of the light, the stars, the moon. They gave the day the shadows and days where the sun does not shine. They did not separate them strictly but made them flow into each other, made them the most beautiful in their overlapping. At the time where there is neither day nor night, when darkness and light give the most spectacular show of ambiguity and create beauty from the space inbetween. God created dusk and dawn.

After this, god created the ocean and the ground with plants on it that grow and prosper. But he did not separate them. Plants grow in the ocean and on land, and bodies of water reside on the land, cross it in streams and rain down from the atmosphere. Water does not reside strictly separated in one place and never changes, rather flowing freely and changing form as needed. Then God created the animals, but they not only reside in one place. They live on and in the water, in the air, on the ground and even in the ground. They change places as needed. They change places even during the course of their lives, from water to land or the other way around.

Lastly, god created Adam and Eve. And in the same vein, they did not create them separate. And they created them in their own picture. They created Adam AND Eve to be sure to create the concurrence of the two of them in in their image. God is not one or the other, God is both. And so is humanity, in its entirity. Not one single human shows all the nuances of God, we as a whole show gods true nature. And we are not separate, we change and we move from one part of the spectrum to the other, and we all have parts that are man and that are woman in us.

Then why, you ask, do people exist that need to change? If they are made in gods image, why change their nuance, the part of god that they carry.

You see, god made us alike to them, not only in body, but in mind. God is a creator, no, the creator, so they made us creatures that create. And as god makes changes to their original creations, adding stars and the moon to darkness, so are we encouraged to change what was given to us. To create a the light in the darkness or the cooling shade in scorching sun.

As we read in the story of the good Samaritan, god does not solve the problems we have. God sends us tests and challenges so that we may prove our love and kindness.

So, trans and nonbinary people face the challenge of partaking in the divine act of creation. Of changing what was given to us by god to something we love and are kind to, as we all should strive.

God gave you a challenge, too. God gave you the challenge to see: To see all parts of gods creation and all parts of humanity that represent them. To really see what they are like and what was given to us by god. Everyone is created alike to god. If you cannot accept that trans people are too, part of god, created in their image, you are excluding where they are not. You are denying god their wholeness. You are building your own picture of god.

And I was sent to tear it down.

#god #christianity #g*d #religion #trans people #nonbinary #trans #btw english is not my first language so please don't fuss with details of grammatical nature here!#Feeling a lot about this and this made me talk to my mum and kinda come out and also reflect on our relationship to god and religion so....#I also have this translated in german and polish if anybody needs it!#I did take some inspiration from thsi one tumblr post with the divine act of creating being part of transness and I really would love to..#..credit this person so if someone could send me a link I will most certainly edit the post to include it!

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l-in-the-light · 4 days

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The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read: edition Zou (part 11)

Let's continue the "love is a hurricane" tale after the small break :D This time we finish up Zou and get ready for hard decisions to be made and undesired seperation approaching!

A reminder that in Punk Hazard Luffy immediately picked up on Joker and inquired Law to know more, because he realized Law is somehow connected to that person. Picture below for comparison's sake:

But on Zou Lufy learns Sanji is connected to Germa and he doesn't care nor does he want to know anything more. Even Nami is slightly taken aback (though it's Luffy's usual behaviour here!), but that's also because she realized for the first time that Sanji was lying all this time to them and she doesn't know what to think about it.

Law is getting special treatment, basically became Luffy's special interest, and he has no idea about it!

Again, Luffy intends to go alone and do his best not to declare the war on Big Mom in the process. That's because he has his alliance with Law and they can't afford an extra side conflict on the way. Now, would Luffy care about any of that, if it wasn't Law he was having an alliance with? My bet's still on "no".

Still remembering Neko Mamushi's name and that's because he knows seeing Neko Mamushi means he will see Heart Pirates and Law if he sticks around, heh.

Now let's look at things from Law's perspective, even if just for the laughs, shall we? He went to see his Heart Pirates, spent some time with them, then relayed a message to Luffy through Pedro that they're waiting for Strawhats to join them (because remember? Heart Pirates can't leave the whale forest!). Law then learns that either 1. Luffy never joins them 2. Pedro tells him Luffy said "later".

So the result is that Law arrives here seeking Luffy (just like Luffy wanted him to, btw), but I wonder what he might be thinking... "how dare you, Mugiwara-ya, I told you to come and you have more important matters?!" or perhaps "Are they in some kind of trouble? Mugiwara-ya is always in trouble, so it's not unlikely, maybe I should go and check things out". Personally, my bet is on a mix of both, seeing his rather unhappy face above when he looks at Strawhats doing some shanenigans with Nekomamushi haha.

And this is the scene that welcomes Law as he finds Luffy and his crew. He's clearly confused by whatever is happening in front of him. And then Luffy notices him like *immediately* and greets him with huge enthusiasm. Because of course he would, he was trying to be so brave and not miss him every second they're apart, and yet that immediate reaction proves us that Law was constantly on his mind anyway and his eyes were always looking around to spot him the very moment he will arrive. Which is exactly what happened.

Now let's take a look at Law curiously holding his sword in both hands, because there's a story there, shown to us only through visual language. His sword was resting on his arm, but for some reason he grabs it after he witnessed all the chaos. Just a moment later it will return back to his shoulder again. Why?

Just take a look at this:

Remember how he did the same thing much, much earlier in same arc? He grabbed his sword when he sensed danger or a stranger approaching them (just like Zoro). This is how he prepares to unshield his Kikoku so he can be ready to attack, if neccessary, but he unshields his sword only when he feels malignant intent. A good swordsman is always on alert, after all!

And he does the exactly same thing when he looks at the commotion around Luffy and Nekomamushi (but he's a bit more cautious here). He sees the ruckus and his first instinct isn't to question Luffy or scold him for causing trouble. Nah, none of that. His very first reaction is to take his weapon and prepare to fight, because if Luffy is in danger, it's his duty to help! Ain't that freaking sweet? :D and all of that shown without any words needed, heh.

"I came to give you an introduction", he says while his eyes aren't even visible, so we know he's telling us bullshit :D (also notice, the sword is back on his shoulder, because Luffy's cheerful greeting put his mind at ease that he doesn't have to attack anyone and that everything is alright!)

Heart Pirates look like they lowkey rehearsed that introduction pose. They remind me of heroes from some Power Rangers show. I wonder if that's how wacky Sora Warrior of the Sea comic is :D because we can expect that if Law is a fan, all of his North Blue crew is as well. They look so goofy and cheerful in comparison to his stoic, cool and broody energy.

Luffy's like "yo!!", because he actually met them already, this is his second time when he sees them and had some interaction with them at Zou, so it's not like he woud need introduction, lol (sneaky Luffy is a mood, I swear). But why would Luffy care if he got a proper introduction or not anyway? After all he didn't do one for Law either! In fact I don't think Luffy ever did any introductions before.

And it's true ever since the beginning of the manga. Nami didn't get introduced to Zoro, Zoro didn't get introduced to Nami (he had to ask her himself who she is!). The best they can get is "this is going to be our crewmate/navigator", no names included. Lol. That also explains why Zoro is so used to Luffy's crap and in Punk Hazard he just stays around Law and doesn't question it, until the guy goes towards Sunny, lol. Just see it for yourself below:

And all of this happened despite Law asking Luffy to "let the rest of his crew know". Usually Luffy not making any introductions slips our minds, because whenever new crewmate appears they're all together so it's not even an issue. But sometimes, we get reminded Luffy didn't really learn manners and this is one of those examples. Law remembers the offense though.

Especially after Luffy told him he would do that. But he never did. LOL.

Just look at those frames right next to each other. Luffy tells them to "get along" (nakayoku), and Law, after refusing to introduce his Hearts crew to Luffy, says the same line but with negation "You don't have to get along". That's his revenge, right there. Luffy didn't introduce his crew to him, so Law is not gonna introduce his Hearts to him either. Ba dum tss.

Luffy is completely unaffected by it, because it's Luffy. The ones who are actually affected are Hearts and they boo their captain for it. They call him out for his bullshit behaviour, which makes me think that 1. they're allowed to complain whenever they feel like (around timeskip they also complained to Law that they want to go already to the New World). 2. Law usually DOES give introductions, because they're completely dumbfounded by this situation.

You all still need more proof this was Law's revenge? :D And if you believe this now, I need to remind you that my deduction about Law's nicknames for Strawhats all the way back in part 4 of this analysis series is probably true as well: he did not recognize Franky, Usopp and Brook, because the last time he checked on Strawhats was around Sabaody and when they returned after timeskip he was already stuck in Punk Hazard, not able to read the newest info on them.

Now let's take a look at this scene, in which Law scolds Luffy for "letting" Sanji go with Big Mom. On the surface level, nothing unusual, right? After all it's just yet another scene in which Law is worried and scolding Luffy. Except that Law never did that before when it comes to Luffy's own crew. Law knows this is an alliance, Luffy is the captain of his crew, he's the one responsible for them, not Law. In Punk Hazard Law made sure to always leave things up to Luffy when it concerned his crew, always doing the "relay the message to your crew" attempt and never telling them anything directly.

But here, in Zou, Law is openly scolding Luffy *in front of his own crew* about the situation with Sanji, a Strawhat. Honestly, it seems like he's stepping here completely out of line. It's almost like Law is part of Strawhats and has the right to be angry at the situation, not just voice his concern as an ally. This is the moment that Law starts seriously treating Strawhats like they are his second crew, imo. There's no artificial distance anymore, no "I'm just allied with them, I have to know my place" frame of mind. Whatever concerns Strawhats is clearly Law's problem as well now. It kinda started already in Dressrosa, when Law told half of the crew to just sail off to Zou, but then the situation was different, they were in danger, it could be seen as emergency situation. Zou though? No excuses here, Mr Trafalgar Law. Are you sure this is just an alliance to you?

Law finally voices his real thoughts here, because he doesn't want Zou to suffer even more than it did already (it is homeland of his friend Bepo after all). And he's throwing back the same argument Luffy threw at him in Dressrosa! Luffy looks like he's actually at a loss here and no wonder, because what can they do? Let's look at things from Luffy's perspective. His crewmate is stuck with Big Mom, they have to go to Kaido but can't yet, and they also can't stay here at Zou because they're putting minks at risk. Their options are very limited and situation is very complicated, Law made sure Luffy understands it. But their talk is interrupted by the minks so we will never know in which direction Law actually wanted to take it (we can tell from Luffy's face that Luffy is not gonna offer any actual feedback here). Or do we have a hunch about that actually?

Let's look at the title of the chapter, with Vivi on the cover (we all know she actually wanted to tell Luffy to "take her with him", but she had responsibilities to the country she also deeply loved, so she's also relevant for this chapter's title!), Luffy asks Pekoms to take him with him... and curiously enough Law shouts at Luffy, making the exactly same face expression. Maybe that's the direction he actually wanted the talk to go? It would fit his personality ngl, that he wouldn't want to leave Luffy to go alone to another Emperor's territory, without any decent plan. Especially because we know how much he worries for him all the time.

Feasting, Strawhats and Hearts bonding happily together. Even Pandaman joined in! Not Law though lol.

Ninja time :D Strawhats really push the agenda that there's no shame in loving ninjas and other cool stuff. They have so many requests too! That must have influenced Law that it's alright to voice his own request as well (but he waits with it, hoping maybe someone else can voice it first, so he doesn't have to, haha). He's murmuring it and it fits him so well, because he's not one to admit too openly how much he wants to actually see it, which makes this scene all the more special. Strawhats, and especially Luffy, really have a good influence on him. Even Zoro joins in, right after Law, probably to show support like a good bro he is.

And Raizou starts his show from Law's request! What a great guy Raizou is <3 Law's impressed face is so funny, especially in comparison to Luffy's and Usopp's, haha.

Law is so surprised at being asked for the help as well. His eyes are like "what? why me as well?". As much as Law likes to be appreciated and recognized as the captain of his own crew, he also doesn't really expect the extra attention he sometimes is getting. Unlike Luffy who is more or less used to it already.

Luffy, surprisingly enough, proposes Momo an alliance. They're not beating up Kaido instead of samurai, they're cooperating together. What's important here to note is that Luffy did that because Momo was begging him, like he's inferior to Luffy, almost like a servant. Luffy stops him, wants him to raise his head and instead join hands. He even makes sure to talk to Momo on the same eye level when he proposes the alliance, because people in alliance are equal. But where did Luffy learn that from?

Perhaps Law, who is always trying to speak to Luffy on same eye level, especially (but not only) when it's about important stuff. There's at least one scene like that in every arc. In Punk Hazard when they're captured Luffy is half-lying on the floor in a stupid position. Law is lying in exactly same way instead of trying to present himself to look cool, like he usually does. Why? Because if he sat up he wouldn't be on same eye level as Luffy. In Dressrosa, Luffy even tries to speak to Law who is lying down on Moocy on same eye level as well, by leaning down as much as he can (which is sweet of him, but not exactly working out in these circumenstances <3). On Zou Law comes closer and talks about stuff with Luffy on the stairs, because it's the easiest way to casually stand on eye level if he just stays one step below. And in Wano, Law also remembers about eye level. He even leans down to speak to Luffy. It doesn't matter that they're quarreling, eye level is a sacred rule, no disrespectfully placing yourself above your Luffy ally is ever allowed!

That's why when Luffy says this, I think Law kinda expects him to finish with different word. "Don't ever bow your heads, don't get down on the ground, because an alliance means we're equal!" is what Law would want to hear, seeing how he acts around Luffy. But he gets a "means we're friends" instead which throws him off so much he can't be quiet about it. Still, he doesn't scold Luffy for this and accepts that if it means friendship then it's friendship, and he does become friends with Kinemon as the result. Even if Luffy got it wrong, Law is gonna follow through with it. After all, he chose this fate for himself when he first proposed Luffy an alliance. If Luffy thinks it's about friendship, so be it friendship. In Law's novel we can see that Law doesn't really have a problem making friends, especially with people he saved before.

But did Luffy actually get it wrong? I feel like he played Law a little here, because Luffy clearly understands what equality is. He pushed Law's boundaries a little bit further to open him up to people. Alliances are nice, but friendships are nicer. And Luffy wants Law to make some new friends instead of keeping himself always at a distance. But since this is Luffy we're talking about, it might also be as simple as him thinking friendship means equality, and actually: he's not wrong about that part, definitely.

And I love how Law grumpily asks Luffy why the latter didn't ask about his own opinion. Luffy is like "But I knew already that you would say yes. Am I wrong about that?", and of course he's not, but he should have still asked anyway instead of deciding for both of them, even if he knows Law well enough already to assume his stance on all of this. It's not just about having faith in another person's beliefs, but it's also important to make sure they're on the same page already. What if Law had some important doubts to voice before agreeing? Luffy couldn't have guessed that.

It's actually like that all the time in their alliance. Law only protests or complains when he wants Luffy to notice some stuff, even if it seems REALLY nitpicky overall. He never does that when things get done (no matter in which way as long as the end goal is met), or when he already agreed to stuff (even if he doesn't like the consequences it led to). There's really just two scenarios in which he minds: it's when Luffy misses the mark about something important or when Law is worried like hell.

Do you think he acts angry here because Luffy already knows perfectly well what Law's own answer will be? Or is he annoyed by Luffy's confidence in Law's answer without even having to ask him first? Or maybe salty that he can't deny? I wonder if he realizes how much Luffy is actually paying attention to him.

And a new friendship alliance is completed :D Law even joins in for "hand bumping" part, because Luffy earlier declared "joining hands" is an important part of making an alliance. They never joined hands in Punk Hazard, but here Law actually listens to Luffy and follows through (despite his own touch-related trauma!).

After they leave the whale, Law seems to be deep in thought. Maybe he's returning back to the talk they had about Sanji's situation and deciding which would be the best course of action now for Law himself to take. Should he go with Luffy? Or would it be better to move on to Wano and just have faith that Luffy can push through without him?

Seems he reached his decision. Faith in Luffy, it is.

Look here. Before the whole earth shaking incident happened Law is far away (and out of frame), but the very moment situation gets unpredictable and dangerous, he positions himself close to Luffy, just so he can protect him if needed. He's also the only one capable of keeping his balance, Mr Steady Two Legs No Matter What Is Happening. Of course in this situation, when no one else can even stand anymore, he knows he's needed more than ever in case something even worse could happen.

Law doesn't say anything, but he is there when Luffy's group is leaving. He also clenches his fist, probably trying to stay strong in his resolve and decision (to go to Wano instead of with Luffy), but you can guess already how Trafalgar Law operates: he's most likely worried af under that stoic resting bitch face. Luffy is unusually cheerful on their parting. It's almost like the callback to their reunion at Punk Hazard, when he flashes Law the most beaming smile we ever saw Luffy do. And here it's the same. I bet you anything the reason is the same in both cases: he wants a certain someone to stop worrying over him so much and he does that by smiling the brightest he can, to show that things will be alright.

Because let's face it, samurais won't be worried about Luffy here (why would they? Kinemon truly believes Luffy to be so very strong!), neither would be the Strawhats crew (they believe in their captain and instead tell Luffy not to worry about them!). But Law? He would worry no matter what, it's just the way he is. That smile from Luffy is so bright mostly for Law.

And then Luffy yeets them off the elephant, and I'm sure it does not help Trafalgar Law to feel less worried, haha. Luffy's idea here is to show Law that he's not gonna waste time and will take the shortest possible route, so they can reunite as fast as they can. It's the same mindset he had in Dressrosa: jumping off the cliff to save them time. And indeed Law probably had a flashback to that in this moment, but he does not hold such fond memory of it like Luffy does, lol. He's like "that idiot is doing it again!".

Suffer Law suffer, because you will never stop worrying about this little dumbass you care about so very much!

#one piece #trafalgar law #luffy #lawlu #love is a hurricane #lulaw #luffy x law #next step: Whole Cake Island!#you think there's no Lawlu in WCI? Get ready for a surprise then!#alliance means friendship #Luffy will die on that hill #or will he? we will find out in WCI hehe

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honeytabbies · 2 months

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OKAY. HERE WE GO. my black bulls doggies!!!! :D

there's definitely a noticeable difference in style/quality of some of these just due to time between each design and/or how i was feeling at the time of drawing them (these hot and rainy summer months have been super rough on me)

ALSO they were all done symmetrically so that i wouldn't burn out and could actually finish them LOL . OK EVERYBODY BELOW

starting off with asta, a husky/coyote mutt!! :D in my au, devil users end up becoming hybrids of whatever their devil is. so since liebe is a coyote, that's what asta is too!! (also, i haven't drawn him yet, but yuno is a malamute :D similar looking breeds but different since they're not actually related!)

(here's liebe too hehe, scrappy lil coyote!!)

then of course, noelle, who's a saluki!! a very regal breed for a very royal gal!! i thought making her pigtails into her ears was a fun idea HEHEHE

(+ an alternate design version!)

here's finral, he's a shetland sheepdog!! gentle and sweet and always trying to herd his people together :) you might notice that with some of my designs, i end up doing extra scarring; that's usually just personal headcanons, as i think some injuries would be too grievous to fully heal. though some (for instance, gauche) don't have a canon story behind them, i just think they're fitting

vanessa, who's a cavalier king charles spaniel!! her ears sorta blend into her hair lol, i had an alternate version where they were the same darker brown as her fur but i decided that them blending in looked better and fit the breed standard as well.

gauche, the ever wary american akita!! being a fiercely loyal and protective breed, but aloof and suspicious of strangers.

then there's grey, who's a long-haired chihuahua!! sweet and skittish HEHE, also i haven't drawn it yet but i've always imagined her big transformation disguise that she's first introduced as to be a rottweiler LOL

next up is luck, a jack russell terrier!! i've always thought this was a very fitting breed pick, intelligent but highly energetic and a little mischievous !!!

and of course, magna is never far behind luck; he's a dobermann pinscher!! similar to luck in energy and intelligence, but even more fiercely protective of his loved ones.

GORDON!!! actually one of my favourite black clover characters, he's a dalmatian not only because of the fitting aesthetic, but also because of his kind and sensitive personality!

the masked supermage zora, a german shepherd! watchful and sometimes stubborn but loyal nonetheless made this pick fairly easy to come to. though, before getting to see more of him, my initial pick was actually a kai ken!

charmy's design is one that i'm the most proud of for sure; i mentioned in an earlier post that the different peoples are different species of animals. well charmy is a half toy poodle, half american badger!! i thought a badger was a VERY fitting pick, as they are generally unbothered by much unless their food is threatened LOL

and finally, lastly (for now) is nero!! she's a bull terrier, but i really wanted to keep her twin tails from her anti-bird form! her outfit is definitely the one i edited the most, i just wanted to give her something more practical out of personal preference.

additionally, henry is an old english sheepdog, nacht is a black norwegian elkhound/fox, and yami is a wolfdog!

I HAVE SOME OTHER CHARACTERS DOODLED HERE AND THERE but nothing else really finished yet. if there's a specific character anyone would like to see i would be SO happy to draw/doodle them to show off!! i honestly have a huge list of dog/cat breeds picked out for every character i could think of; i just am hellishly indecisive and can never pick who to start on next AHDSJAGDJSDK

THE POSITIVE RECEPTION TO MY ART SO FAR HAS MADE ME SO HAPPY BTW AUAGGHHH i have no idea how/if im able to reply to people directly but just know that i keep reading over everyone's reblog tags and stimming like crazy IM SO HAPPY THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH AUHGHFEHGGRH

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nerdyfan1 · 1 month

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Evil Peri AU

Made a rough draft for this. Notes, caps for ppl without GoogleDoc and notes under cut :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-_BB_21bDBDK2LigWOqzQNEnaaehG9tqthlmxMRJVm8/edit

• Another idea I had is after the murder they end up on the run as now Dev is technically an orphan. Not sure if I’ll go that direction tho.

• Peri knows about Hazel through Dev in the beginning of them meeting but, doesn’t know about how his parents are her fairies. He finds out in the second half.

• I might do something with Daisy Do later but, I wouldn’t get your hopes up. Idek if I’ll really do much with this au I’m easily distracted 😅

• Mostly Peri focused (ik rare for me) but, a decent amount of Dev focus cus he’s pretty important to Peri’s character just like Peri is important to Dev’s character.

•Btw yes in this AU Irep is like really nice if also mischievous. Bro loves pulling harmless pranks. Tho idk if he’ll do anything in this au.

#nerdys post tag #the fairly oddparents #a new wish #fop peri #fop dev #fop a new wish #fop au #evil peri au #dev dimmadome #lil dimmadome

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ohnonononononono567 · 7 months

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Bit by Bit - Simon "Ghost" Riley x m!reader (mostly angsty)

Continuation of Games btw (Here you go @aliciamorov bro, i gotchu)

"I love you."

"I don't want to love you."

A sentiment he heard from some highschool girlfriend he had for two weeks. Back when love meant skipping your shift at the arcade to buy them Mickey D's.

Back when love was finding peace from your crap father and the butcher shop wouldn't let you pick up more shifts.

He had said it stupidly. In her bed, having done nothing more than drink a beer stolen from her father and his lips swollen from her insistent biting while they made out. Her giggling filling the room, always had a sense of humor that one.

Sitting next to her, hands interlaced, his words slipped out. When she hissed out her reply, he felt a chill run up his spine. Never a fan of snakes.

She liked him nonetheless. She wasn't heartless. But she'd leave for a bloke going to the same college as her next week anyways.

After enlisting, he learned why he was wrong to say what he had said.

Love was strong. And he was weak. He was weak for the way you laughed, for the way your face scrunched up in the morning. He was weak when he yelled at you. He was a weak man. It was shitty to let a girl he can't even bother to remember the name of linger in his mind. But it kept at his brain every second of the day.

When he allowed a thing—No, a person—a person like you into the cracked parts of his being, you filled it with gold. Bit, by bit. You didn't "fix" him. You weren't a psychiatrist picking at his brain and trying to poke and understand why his mindset was "toxic" and "self destructive." You just made him see the beauty he always gloated about.

He wasn't ugly, far from it, but he saw that gnawing pit growing inside him as the ugliest part of him. And that was what was disgusting. It was a part of him.

Yet a man like you never saw him as disgusting. You never saw the chill of 300 bugs crawling inside your skin begging to acknowledge you're a piece of shit on this earth.

You saw a man, in distress.

You didn't tell him to toughen up. You never even touched him if he didn't allow it.

Simon always told himself he'd never allow another man make him feel weak like his father did. It's why he'd find himself fidgeting at your door, wondering if it's even worth it to walk in with those flowers he'd know you'd die for.

But when you open that door, staring at him, and that goddamn dog jumps to meet him, those thoughts leave.

He wants to love you. He wants to be the one to carry the privilege of loving you. But he's weak. And you'll learn to seek better. You're a tough man, and life will fall onto you.

And in his weakness, he'll be unable to carry the burden of hurting you by leaving. So he'll tell himself he's not loving you.

He'll allow you to give him that squeeze in the airport before he leaves. He'll tell you that you'll always be his man. That all his happiness lies with you. He wants it to be true. He knows you'd never want to love him. So he'll protect himself. Internally he'll tell himself he's not in love with the bubbly man who stands in front of him, with their lips connecting.

You see every part of him. And you know he'll realize it's love. He feels what you feel, maybe even stronger.

Bit by bit, he'll realize it.

I DONT WRITE AND I WROTE THIS WHILE IM SAD PWEASE BE NICE :(( (Edit: nobody told me writing #[blank] wasnt the same as tagging your posts i thought i was shadow banned lol)

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