#i mean I don’t but I’m Supossed to get a degree

[victorianboyfriend]

i don’t think i can do this anymore seriously

[bigskydreaming]

Bruce started as batman at 18 didn't he? And is supossed he took dick a year later So did bruce adopted a 9 years old when he was 19??? And omg why doesn't anyone make fics about it, imagine a this young bruce taking care of a kid (lets imagine he is not been shitty written here please) I think it can be hillarous

Noooooooo, I don’t think there’s any comic continuity that goes with the idea Bruce was Batman already at 18. That idea is hilarious to me, because baby Bruce Batman is like, now a must have. LOL. But no, it tends to shift a lot due to frequent retcons, but as far as I’m aware, the general consensus is that Bruce left Gotham when he was eighteen to go traveling around the world and learning all his skills from various teachers. 

This took a number of years (and also, he somehow had time in this period of his life to pop into college and get a degree there, though as far as I know that’s always just been one of those mentioned in passing things, so its likely no writers have really ever tried mapping out the timeline of when Bruce was in college versus world traveling).

Anyway, so we know that at some point in his early twenties Bruce returned to Gotham and began as Batman….and that he was Batman for only a couple years or so before the Graysons died and he took in Dick. So the youngest Bruce was is most likely twenty four or twenty five, which while still PLENTY young to be raising an eight or nine year old (and plenty of potential to be explored here), its not like its completely out of the realm of possibility, as there are teen fathers with similar age gaps between themselves and their kids by that point.

However, one thing I want to point out, that I don’t think I’ve ever seen mentioned before in discussions of how young Bruce was….is that there’s a huge difference between Bruce and other fathers his age who might have kids Dick’s age at that point. 

And that is the fact that while Bruce at 24, raising an eight year old Dick, is about what you’d get if he’d had a kid at age 16….Bruce only STARTED raising Dick when he was ALREADY 24. This is significant, because the part of being a teen parent that tends to result in the most difficulty, by all accounts I’m aware of….is the TEEN part. Struggling to take care of a child while still being deemed mostly a child yourself in society’s eyes, having limited access to resources, education and other things, and by the time you’re old enough to be the ‘equal’ of most parents in terms of age, standing, etc….your child is already eight or nine as well.

What’s different here, of course, is that Bruce didn’t have Dick for the early parts of Dick’s life, and so while he’s still plenty young by the time he enters fatherhood around twenty four or so (even if that’s not what he thinks of it as at the time), he had no split focus or priorities keeping him from transitioning from a teenager to a fully independent adult BEFORE he arrived at that point. 

What I mean is yes, Bruce raising Dick at age eight when he’s only twenty four IS superficially similar to someone who had a kid when they were sixteen, and now they’re 24 and their kid is 8…..but the how of getting to that point is vastly different, and thus results in Bruce being in an extremely different position when he’s raising an eight year old, than literally anyone else his age would have been in, taking in someone as old as Dick at that point.

I raise this merely because I think there’s a tendency to just look at the basic picture of Bruce age 24 taking in Dick age 8, and drawing conclusions just from that on a surface level - and I do think this also plays into the tendency to sometimes view Dick and Bruce’s dynamic as less father and son than with the others, because of how young Bruce was and how old Dick was. 

But when you focus not on their ages, but the place in life that Bruce was at by that time….it presents a very different picture IMO. Bruce had all the advantages of wealth, he had Alfred’s support, help and guidance, he was finished with his schooling, college included, and while nominally involved in his family company he didn’t really have to work so much as he worked when he chose to. Plus on top of that, he’d already established himself as Batman for a couple years by that point, meaning by the time he chose to take Dick in, he’d already….grounded himself in his chosen life path and was committed to it and it was well underway. 

Point being, despite his young age, Bruce was ideally situated to provide for a child (in terms of not just material things, but also in regards to being able to devote so much of his time and attention to Dick and his recovery). To a degree that even most parents years older than him would envy. And while the age gap between he and Dick in years isn’t that huge, in every other respect, there was no doubt that Bruce had everything he needed to occupy the role of primary caregiver/guardian/parental authority…..it was his money, his house, his company, his life’s ambition as Batman…..everything else besides his age was very much An Adult, Quite Capable of Adulting. (On paper, at least. LOL).

So I’m just saying, I think focusing just on their respective ages can paint a misleading picture. Since with all of the above in mind, Bruce and the stage in his life he was already at by the time he was twenty four….isn’t really all that comparable to what most twenty four year olds are like at that exact same point in life. So looking at him in his mid twenties raising an almost ten year old, I think you kinda have to…adjust for that, mentally. Because viewing Bruce and Dick through a lens without that adjustment and expecting to see a similar dynamic to what there is between most 24 year olds and 8 year olds….is bound to end up skewed.

And just to be clear, this is NOT to say that it was easy for Bruce to take in and raise Dick, by any means. I’m not a parent myself, but I can’t imagine that its ever easy or a given when it comes to taking in an orphaned child and not just raising them from that point, but helping them heal from their trauma as well. And no matter how much Bruce had going for him, he was still only twenty four or twenty five, and speaking from experience, it doesn’t matter HOW old you FEEL or THINK you are when you’re twenty four….give it another ten years, and you’re bound to look back at yourself and go “no, twenty four year old me was a baby. A toddler. What business did anyone have treating me like an adult, my adulthood was a LIE!”

Anyway. So yeah, I’m just saying….none of this is meant to disregard or gloss over how young Bruce still was and how much growing and maturing he still had to do himself, nor is it to suggest that it was ever going to be ‘easy’ to raise Dick, given everything he’d already been through by the time he ended up at Wayne Manor. 

Its literally just about…..I’m all aboard the idea of exploring the dynamic between twenty four year old new (and in denial) father Bruce and his precocious eight year old (and not even ready to think about him in those terms yet) son Dick. Yes please!

I’m just saying that when doing so, an angle to possibly keep in mind is that Bruce at age twenty four was never going to have all that much in common with most people at age twenty four, and so trying to use other young single parents or other twenty four year olds or even yourself at age twenty four, is like…..probably not as useful or accurate a measuring stick as it might seem at first glance, IMO.

[orionsknightsky]

*incoherent word ramble cuz I both do and don’t feel like talking/ seeking out someone to talk to rn and so that means it gets to go on tumblr I guess*

It feels like absolutely nothing is happening in my brain right now but also that’s cuz I can just feel that everything has been sped up and so word thoughts are gone cuz I think they’re going to fast to hear, either that or they got dumped and it’s only other kinds of thoughts that I don’t know how to focus on happening now. Idk, like, I had whole lots of coffee (like six smallish cups of coffee but also it’s been literal months since last I drank even one cup so that is soo much) cuz it was free at work this morning and I got to sit around while people chatted for almost two hours today and just eat the free snacks and coffee, which was super cool cuz I’ve literally been looking forward to this all week, even though set aside time for morale-boosting office place gatherings are and interesting beast.  

So back to word thoughts coming from current state of being instead of explaining why current state of being is being (heh). It feels like everything is and exists so much rn and I don’t care, cuz like also there is just nothing that is me? There is no solid “me” that exists, and their is no solid me that cares about things I’m doing/knows where I should start in order to help in things that matter/isn’t scared to find where I’m supposed to be. *but also like, supossed to is such an interesting term, and I should maybe reexamine the frequency with which I tell myself I should do something or that I’m supposed to do it, cuz there is no inherent purpose to the universe and so nothing matters. But also like, a good reason why I’m alive is cuz I have frequently told myself that I’m supposed to stay alive in order to not make other people upset. And so maybe I should just tell my self that I feel like I should stay alive cuz I don’t feel happy when I make people upset? Or is that just a different version of what I have been already doing? (the actual thing is maybe that I’ve got to find a thing that I feel makes me want to continue to exist cuz it makes me feel the feels I want?, but idk what that means and also I don’t know why or how or where I’m gonna find it and I don’t think it’s gonna be until after I’m done with college {only one more quarter, woot fuckin woot!!!!!}, so I got to keep figuring out what things make my brain want to keep caring?, or just keep on telling my brain that even if it doesn’t care, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t care cuz future brain does and will care, but also nothing matters and there is no purpose to anything even if I find purpose so is everthing just a conundrum and why will I just keep existing to live within a purposeless conundrum) I’m curious about what else there is but also I know that there’s no thing that makes it so people know why we need to be alive, and everyone is so scared of dying? and like, it will supposedly almost definitely be a painful and awful experience?? but also a lot of things are? and I don’t know why that matters cuz I’ve suffered before and got through it, and I’ll continue to suffer and get through it, and then one day I’ll supposedly suffer and not get through it, and apparently that suffering is more important to postpone then other suffering? Nothing makes sense (including and definitely this word spew) and yet everyone/society pretends like it does and that it matters and that anyone has anything figured out. but we just don’t. We just really, don’t. And that doesn’t matter, but  my brain does thing /unless it doesn’t/ and I’m supposed to continue to do things even while my brain does things even though I don’t want to do things and so I don’t excpet when I do- which is both often and unoften cuz boy the world sure just keep on coming and it don’t stop coming- but I like just observing, participation is so much hard when I have to exist as me, (school participation is not hard cuz I don’t exist as me and I just learn the things and say the words that professors/teachers need to hear in order to continue to advance a subject/teach a class) (I’ve written much of this, I think I probably am going to post this cuz words are words and whoever reads can decide not to whenever cuz like, you can decide to not do most things just whenever, but at least stopping reading this won’t have negative consequences upon your life for whatever reason -unless it does, in which case, fuck I’m sorry, that’s a weird and somewhat unforeseen circumstance)

ahffshighrghori

Why do people act as if words are easy? Communication is so impossible and yet people think they do it? and to some degree people sometimes do? But also no one ever knows if they actually successfully communicated in entirety, but also there are ways to be more successful? (and I’m not currently using most of the ones I normally do!)

But maybe just saying all the words in all the stupid orderr and not reading or working with them or doing them in more than just the way I’m “thinking” will just make them have a meaning even if it’s not important beyond what it makes them not in my head cuz fuck proper coherence nothings ever made a goddamned sense

(have you ever just exist in a place? and not made sense, even when you hear what people say? not being able to understand is weird.

Hope this doens;t)

Some of this is purposeful incoherence, but I don’t know what it means that you can just, one can just choose to then make a words how they happen in your head and that they then don’t make sense. I don’t know what I’m saying! why do other?

Why do people understand eachother, why do people think things make sense? Why do they sometimes,

gosh when people tell you to just write and see what happens they really do mean that it won’t be good the first time, but also fuck having word s that make good, it doens’t mattetr

. It just djorenst ay doesn’t.

This entire mess both is and isn’t because of the addition of caffeine to my present. Wild It’s shared because of the caffeine, but it’s existent because my existing is incoherent and not wanted/understood/necessary/working out how I imagined cuz I’ve rarely if ever imagined what existing would be./

Idk, I assumed I’d be dead when I was 10 and hadimagined that life had no understood purpose at and before then, and I never really did stop with it and that think. ogsa gshi gi gi g igi we i

Fuck man, what is

I hope if you read this you at least realize a little bit that nothing makes sense/has any purpose/matters, but that, like, that’s both freeing and makes it hard to do things and is maybe a good idea to fairly regularly ignore? Cuz none of this 

(also if you read this I hope you’re doing okay and undrstand that even though nothing makes sense and there’s no proof of purpose there’s no proof of unpurpose and so maybe just caring about people will make something better, cuz maybe happiness in the present is as good as it will ever get and so it’s okay to find and seek that out when you can?

Words are hard and don’t make any sense even when they’re in my head and what I’m trying to think. Why am I even trying to think cuz I do that anyway (as evidenced my most if not all of this words cuz dan g if not any of it was I trying to think beyond the thinking involved in not letting my thougghts rowrds thingk.

Was gonna edit it cuz the typose werewakl twp gajow

cuz the typos were and weren’t purposeful and how can you know when your actions are simulated to achieve a specific purpose and when they aren’t and why do I feel as though purposeful word order to achieve specific thoughts is a tthing to not because not. ?.

Nothing needs to make sense and I hope you’re having fun.

I also hope you’re not making the world worse, but I’m not convince I’m not, and if you are and it’s not purposeful then it’s okay if you give yourself some slack and breathe and move past it to get to where you are and can be contributing not good and not bad and maybe just good or the morality that you want to achieve and make  be in what

Fuck senssfm, sorry if 

If I pause for too long does that mean done? I think i t means slowing down and that it might be done soon, if I’ve said something that you read and word was harmful, I don’t think I did but that’s cuz I didn’t stop to think and did not intend harm but am willing at time when can think more to try and thing positively but also I’m fairly certain this isn’t somethings that  is in any way too much offensive and is probably just overly personal in an not sense making kind of way that might seem like too much later or more likely I’ll just forget about cuz who thinks. sfljagwjogogohi

Gosh I don’t like when the overthinks so trying to make this end is making that happen which makes it feel like it need s to keep being word sthat come out of my brain and do the typing even thoeugh I was trying kind of to make it stop cuz it felt like maybe it was reaching an end but why would I let it reach an end if the entire point (if there was a point which apparently I’m trying to assert that there was even though I didn’t let my self assert that there was at the begiinnning cuz obviously theres is jsust htat wacky randomness of words that just happen and not every thing that is written serves any purpose or thoughts to convey cuz If when if I try and let my words b e with and wiithout no purpose then when nad if nothing word isa than to make sens b cause thaen word that I’m trying don’t matter and that good? Fuck yah I managed to lean into not want ting to say that sentance when I lost it. In conclusion there isn’t one?

Sorry, brains and words are weird and I’m glad I did this but I don’t know what it means I and I don’t know why I said it and I dont’ know why or if you read it but I hope you knew the words you understood and wanted. Hope you’re having good, hope you find coherence, hope we have good.