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dckweed · 3 months

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THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman

in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.

warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play.

guess who's back :) torn ligament in my hand has officially been cleared for normal use (even though i've technically been using it like normal ((shhhhh don't tell my GM that)), anyway..) and im back with my babies!! originally, and you can ask @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx , i had planned this to be a little longer and lowkey include some smutty pieces, but, after sitting down and reading over the whole thing this afternoon i felt comfortable with this just being part six and letting the rest of what i had planned come together for part seven :) we've been working very hard behind the scenes to worldbuild for gator and his pearlie..

also, as a reminder i love receiving asks about these two! i also love recieving maybe some drabble ideas too :) my inbox is always open!

series masterlist here, series playlist here.

PART SIX: the bed, the smack and the date.

The weekend with Gator and his sisters was absolutely blissful compared to what you would probably be going back home to. Your fiancé had taken you home early Monday morning after you had helped drop off the girls, his parents on their way back from their trip, driving your car (which at the time you hadn’t realized was all part of his plan to keep you away from Boyd for as long as he could without it being suspicious) with you in the passenger seat, dancing bleary-eyed to the music playing through the speakers from your attached phone, one of your expensive fancy iced coffee’s (that he had happily paid for) in your hand. He couldn’t keep the smile from his lips as he watched you, something about the moment just so wholly you that he couldn’t help but wish he had more time to bask in it, but he was already pulling down the long dirt lane that belonged to Boyd, the house not too far off in the distance.

“Thank you for drivin’ me..” You say, reaching up on your tip toes to kiss his cheek. He leans down just the littlest bit to make it easier for you and you can’t help but to blush at the action as he walks you up to the porch, your bag from the weekend clutched in the hand that he didn’t have loosely on the small of your back, guiding you.

He hums in response, watching you turn your house key in the door. “I don’t have to be at work until tonight..” He says, following you over the threshold. “Figured maybe we could go back to sleep for a few hours..go get a late lunch or something later?” He had absolutely no intention of leaving you by yourself in the same house as Boyd, not after what he knew, and he would do all he could to make sure you were around him as little as possible, without you knowing.

“..sounds nice..” You yawn, closing the door and shuffling behind him sleepily. You guys had been up awfully late planning the engagement party, set to be held next weekend, and hadn’t fallen asleep until about an hour before it was time to get the girls up, he had insisted on getting your things packed up and the both of you getting out of the house before his parents came back and despite being exhausted, you weren’t going to argue with him, not wanting to have to put on a show or face any questions about the wedding or dress shopping just yet. “Y’gonna snuggle with me?” “Pearl!” The tone in his voice is cause for concern, but for some reason, with Gator here, you don’t put yourself on high alert. “What have I told you abou-” He comes from his office, stepping into the large entrance of the house, eyes locking on the man behind you as you both turn towards his voice, Gator already on the staircase. “Gator, what are you doing here this morning?” He paints on a cordial face, his voice turning pleasant, but you see the way he looks at you.

Gator puts a hand on your shoulder, pulling you against his firm body though he stands about two stairs above you. “Morning Sir.” The same coolness he uses with his father lacing through his voice, his hand squeezes your shoulder soothingly, as if trying to massage the tension out of it. “We were up all night planning our engagement party, and with my parents coming home this morning, we figured we’d come here to get some sleep..” You’re looking up at him and he looks down, giving you a small smile. “Right hon?” You nod your head, putting a hand over top of the one he has on your shoulder as you give your step-father a small, gentle smile. “Figured we’d go get a late lunch or somethin’ before I head in to work later this evening too..”

Boyd seems hesitant but clearly doesn’t want to argue and simply nods his head, dropping whatever he was about to yell at you about before. “Right..i’ll make sure you’re not disturbed.” He says, turning to go back into his office.

You both watch him walk away, leaving the two of you in your slightly awkward embrace. “What was that about snuggling?” Gator asks, his voice playful once the office door is shut firmly behind the man. You roll your eyes at him and turn around, swatting his butt playfully as he chuckles and starts heading up the stairs ahead of you.

Your bed looks so warm and inviting when you walk in that you don’t even bother to take off your shoes before diving right into the middle of it, breathing in the smell of your favorite fabric softener. “God, i fucking missed this bed..” You groan, stretching.

“Oh i’m sorry, is my bed not good enough for you?” Gator asks from the foot of the bed, you feel one of his large warm hands on your ankle, pulling your sandal off for you before tossing it unceremoniously onto the floor, doing the same for your other foot before crawling up the bed to lay next to you, his shirt and basketball shorts somehow having been shed and tossed onto the floor as well.

“Your bed is fine but it’s..such a boy bed.” You say, scooting up towards your pillows so you can get underneath of your fluffy duvet, rubbing against his warm body as you go. “And it’s small..”

“The hell does that even mean?” He asks, bewildered as he turns onto his side, draping an arm over your waist like he had been doing the past couple of nights to get comfortable. Now that he had done it, he found it awfully soothing.

“It means that it was very obviously slept in by a boy for its entire life.” You counter, snuggling yourself against his chest, your ass wiggling against him as you pull the comforter up to your chin, his grip around your waist tightens but you don’t question it, happy to be in bed and relaxed. “It’s all hard and lumpy and cold..not nearly as inviting as rhonda..”

He lifts his head up, peering down at you through narrowed eyes. “Pearl you did not seriously name your fuckin’ bed.” He says, absolutely bewildered by you.

“Named yours too,” You yawn, comfortable as you look back at him. “Steve.”

“Steve?” He snorts, and you can practically hear his eyes rolling as he lays his head back down. “If anything, my bed is named like..Brock or something..something bro-y, you know?”

“Brock is such a dickwad name, Steve is much better.” You cackle when you feel him flick the back of your head before swatting your ass when you start wiggling around.

“Shut up and go to sleep you fuckin’ dipshit..” He says, and you really don’t need any more urging than that.

Sleeping with Gator is like sleeping with a life sized teddy bear. He’s warm and snuggly, and despite his hard body, he’s quite soft. You’re not surprised when you wake up with your face buried in his chest, your body half slung over his own around four that afternoon. He had woken up first and had just laid there, his hand ghosting up and down your back as he stared at your dresser, hazel eyes focused on the photos smattering the top of it.

“Gator?” He hums in response, turning his head to look down at you. His hand stops moving, and you miss the soothingness of it almost immediately. “What time is it?”

A smile tugs at the corners of his lips, the hand that wasn’t on your back going to rake through his messy hair. “We slept all day..” His voice isn’t gravelly like it normally is when he’s slept and you wonder just how long he’s been awake for. “It’s a little after four..” You groan, knowing you’re not possibly going to get any sleep tonight.

“Boyd’s not going to be pleased..” You sigh, rubbing your eyes with one hand as you push yourself up with the other, Gator’s hand falling from your back. You don’t notice the pout on his lips as you let out a yawn, running a hand through your hair. Your stomach growls as you stretch, and you let out a gasp, embarrassed.

“Hungry?” H chuckles, watching you from his perch on the pillows as you quickly crawl off the bed, giving him a nice view of your supple ass. “Go on and get dressed, I'll take you to an early dinner..”

You don’t need to be told twice. You emerge from your walk-in closet merely a few minutes later, a pink co-ord set on. The pants were a sweatpants material, but clung nicely to your legs and sat low slung on your hips, leaving your belly on display, giving Gator a good view of the belly button piercing he hadn’t realized you had before as it gleamed against your sunkissed skin. You hum as you stand in front of your vanity, arms lifting up as you brush your hair, slicking it back so you can put it up into a claw clip. Your top is the same material as your bottoms, only from wait Gator can tell, much thinner. You are clearly not wearing a bra, your nipples standing at attention under the fabric and he wonders briefly if you’re cold or if the material is tickling you..either way, he found himself thinking that he’d be more than happy to help you remedy the situation if you wanted him to. He swallows thickly as he realizes that you don’t have the zip done up all the way either, your tits pushed up and practically spilling out, but somehow, when you turn around to ask him how your hair looks, he realizes that it’s a perfectly innocent outfit on you, cute and almost certainly wholesome to those who might see you around town this afternoon.

He wondered if you did that on purpose. If you knew you were sexy, but tried to downplay it with the innocent sweetness that always seemed to exude from you, whether it be in personality or your clothing. He wanted to find out.

“You look fine..” He tells you, smiling gently at you from his spot on your bed. You beam with happiness, and the sight alone made him want to tell you that a thousand more times if it meant you would smile like that again. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom and get dressed, meet me out by the car?” You hum in agreement and he watches you grab your little white purse off of the top of your dresser, where you had tossed it when you walked in. He narrows his eyes but doesn't say anything, did you think he wouldn’t pay for everything? He wondered as he watched you step out into the hallway.

“I am so fucked..” He breathes when the door closes behind you, letting out a relieved breath as he removed your thankfully thick comforter from his lap where it had been doing a mighty fine job of concealing his erection that had begun to pop up as he was watching you merely do your hair.

You try to go down the stairs as quietly as you can, wanting to just slip out the door and avoid Boyd as much as you can, though he seems to sense you before you’ve even made it halfway down.

“Y/N, my office.” He says (though you don’t see him anywhere), using your birth name in a tone of voice that sends shivers down your spine. You wondered if it was too late to turn around and run back up to your room, to lock yourself in there with Gator, where you knew you were safe..

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath as you step off of the bottom stair and onto the antique rug that lay at the bottom. “Yes, Boyd?” You ask softly, stepping through the doorway of his office when you feel confident enough. If you needed Gator, you knew you would only need to scream and he would come running.

He looks up from his desk, eyebrows tightly knitted together. He’s poised to say something, though it never leaves his lips and instead, he purses them as he zeroes in on your belly. You flush, moving your purse in front of it. You hadn’t told him that you had gotten it done when you turned eighteen.

“What the hell is that?” He asks, his voice stiff. He was quite the prim and proper man. He disliked piercings, thought they were rebellious and for people who were going to hell.

“It’s cute, isn’t it?” You say, hoping that you can sway him from his anger. “I got it done on my birthday last year..” He stands from his desk and strides over to you, faster than you had ever seen before. “Boy-” He pushes your purse out of the way and stares down at it.

“I ought to rip it out.” He says, voice seething. “It makes you look like a fucking whore, Pearl. Is that what you are? Are you a fucking whore?” You figured this wouldn’t be a good time to tell him that you most definitely were not a virgin. “Your mother would be asha-”

thwack.

Your hand stung from the force of the blow you had dealt to his face, smacking him so hard that his head flung to the side. “You do not get to tell me about what my mother would think of me.” You say, tears welling in your eyes. “Not when she was alive, and certainly not fucking now..she was my mom before she was ever your wife, you’d do well to remember that, Boyd.”

You don’t know what came over you, but you had had enough of your mother being held over your head. You knew that she wouldn’t ever think you were a whore. She wouldn’t ever make you feel the way this man did, and she never did, even when she was alive. Even through all of the years of keeping Boyd’s abuse a secret from her, you knew that your mother had loved you, had cherished you. That was one thing that he had never been able to beat into your head, though he never ceased to try.

You seem to have shocked him into silence for once in his life, and you take it as you winning whatever the fuck this standoff was, triumphantly but still on edge you turn on your heel and walk out, all but running to the front door before he comes to his senses and chases after you.

You’re crying by the time Gator comes outside a few moments later, you’re standing next to the Jeep when the front door closes. Quickly, hoping he doesn’t notice you wipe your eyes, brushing away the stray tears as he comes down the walk. Even from where you were you could see his eyebrows furrow, the pep in his step turning into a brisk walk as he rushes towards you.

“Pearl? What’s wrong, hon?” He asks, voice oddly gentle. One hand cups your face when you try to turn away, wiping away tears as they start to fall again. Your hand still hurts from how hard you had hit him, and you cradle it in your other one. “Why’re you cryin’?”

You shake your head, looking over his shoulder as best as you can. Boyd is watching you guys from his office window. “Not here..please..” You whisper, looking up at him. “He’s watching us..” He looks briefly over his shoulder, his body shielding your own. “Let’s just go..please..”

He ushers you into the passenger side of your Jeep, opening and closing the door for you before going around to get in, silently starting the engine before he starts pulling down the drive. It’s not until he’s halfway to town that he speaks again.

“What happened, pearl?” His voice is soft, gentle and calming but you understand that there’s an edge to it. That finding you in tears wasn’t something that was going to easily be let go in his book and part of you found comfort in that notion.

“I smacked him.” The car stops so quickly that you have to smack your hand on top of the dashboard to keep yourself from being choked out by your seatbelt. “Ow..” You pout, shaking out your still smarting hand.

Gator turns to face you completely, one hand still on the wheel as he peers at you from the driver's side. “You did what?” A sense of pride swelled up inside of him at your words, but he was so shocked that he wasn’t sure he had actually heard you properly.

Your lips quiver as you look at him. “He..he told me i looked like a whore because of my belly button piercing..” His hand tightened on the steering wheel. “And i..and then he told me he should rip it out and that my mama would be ashamed of me and i don’t know what came over me but I smacked him..” Tears glistened in your eyes as you looked up at him, pouty lips and all. “Are you mad at me?”

What kind of silly question was that? “Babygirl..why would I ever be mad at you for standing up for yourself?” He asks you, and you could have started bawling. “I would be mad if you hadn’t hit him for talking to you that way, you know?” He says, his hand coming to your face to wipe the tears falling from your eyes away. You lean into his touch and he presses his hand against your face even harder as if he was trying to soothe your mind. “Pearl, if anyone ever talks to you that way again or in any fuckin’ way that offends you, you give them what's comin’ you hear me? Even if it’s me.” Just thinking about talking to you that way makes him want to smack his own self. “No, especially if it's me.” You give a teary eyed nod and he leans over the console to place a surprisingly gentle kiss to your forehead. “Good, now let's get you something to eat, okay? Make you feel better..”

You knew it was too late in the day for it, but you finally weren’t too shy to ask him for it. “Can we get an iced coffee, please Gator?” And somehow, just like always when it came to him in the short time you’d known him, you got what you wanted, he even went in with you this time before walking with you to the diner, enjoying the nice afternoon air with your hand slipped in his.

It was practically dinner time but neither of you had actually eaten anything yet that day, having spent all of it sleeping and neither of you were surprised when you ordered the heaviest things you could imagine. The two of you talked throughout your meals, eating slowly to enjoy the time together without even realizing it, you enjoyed hearing him tell you about his friends and how he couldn’t wait for you to meet them, all the while people were stopping by your guys’ booth to say hello or introduce themselves and congratulate you guys on your engagement. The entire time however, your mind is locked on to one thought, and it makes you quiet after a while (which is fine because Gator can talk enough for the both of you when he wants to).

“Whatcha thinkin’ about over there?” He asks suddenly, bringing you out of your thoughts. You’re pushing your side order of french fries around your plate, whats left of your biscuits and gravy coating them. “Whatever it is, looks like you’re pondering awful hard on it..”

You open your mouth to answer before closing it again, not wanting to sound..well..you weren’t sure how you didn’t want to sound but whatever it was, you were worried that your thoughts were going to make you sound annoying in some way or another. “Gator, can I ask you something?” You ask quietly, to which he only hums, taking a bite of his giant burger. “Um..when we..you know..get married..are..is it..um..are we going to like..see other people?” You cringe at your own words, surprised when he chokes on his mountain dew. “Gat-”

“What?” He asks, looking at you as if you were a cat that had grown five heads right in front of him.

“Well, it’s just that.. You know..I know both of us are being forced to do this..” You start wrinkling your nose in disgust at your own words and wishing you could turn time back about fifty seconds so you wouldn’t have to keep living through this. “We barely know each other, let alone love each other..so i was just..thinking that it’s..it’s okay if you want to carry on a relationship with someone else once we’re..married…”

The look on his face was one of someone who had just seen a puppy being kicked. Hurt and confusion masked his face as he made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. “No.” He says, finally finding his voice after a few long moments. “It’s not.” You look up at him, confused. “We are getting married, Pearl. The only relationship that should be carried on is with each other..I know we haven’t known each other long, but i’m doing my best here to try and..try and date you at least before we have to go and say ‘I do’ in front of the whole entire town..” He scratches the back of his neck, looking out the large window and into the light of the slowly setting sun. “I want us to have a chance, as crazy as it sounds..You deserve to be happy, Pearl, and I suppose I do too despite what our parents seem to believe..I was hoping to give us a chance at that with each other, you know?”

You were stunned. You couldn’t think of any words to say as he stares at you, wide eyed and skin flushed, as if he were embarrassed. You find yourself sliding out of the bench seat on your side of the booth and sidling up next to him. “Pea-umhf” You kiss him. Both hands on either side of his face, body as close to his as you can possibly get in the tight fit between the table and seat. He seems completely stunned but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back, his large hand cupping a side of your face, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls you harder against his side, struggling to turn to face you properly in the small space.

You have to take a deep breath when you finally pull away, your mind hazy from the lack of oxygen reaching your brain. Your lips felt swollen and bruised from the intensity of the moment and dammit if you didn’t like it. “So..we’re dating?” You ask, cheeks flushed as you situate yourself next to him, reaching across the tabletop for your dr. pepper. You stay sitting next to him for the rest of dinner, his arm over your shoulders, both of you sneaking in little kisses in between mouthfuls of food.

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#kara writes #gator tillman fic #gator tillman #gator fargo #gator tillman fanfiction #gator tillman fanfic #gator tillman smut #joe keery #gator tillman fargo #fargo s5 #roy tillman #the next thing you know #gator & pearl

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bellaireland1981 · 2 years

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Starting Over | 1

Summary: You come home to work to find your husband of three years in bed with your supposed best friend. It’s the wake up call you finally needed to take your two year old daughter and get the hell out of Texas. With nowhere to go you head to your big brother in San Diego. The sagger squad takes you under their wings, and shows you what having a family means. You get a fresh start... will you find your happily ever after?

Characters: Jake “hangman” Seresin x Sister! Reader, Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Seresin! Reader (Eventually), Hangman x Phoenix (eventually) , Adorable OC Gracie! The Dagger squad

Word Count: 9457 ( I have zero chill)

Warnings: Angst, cheating husband, emotional abuse, eventual fluff, smut in later chapters, Sweet uncle Jake, Adorable Rooster with a toddler... if I miss any please let me know.

A/N: This will be another series. I don’t own the characters or storyline for Top Gun Maverick. All OC’s are mine. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR ANYONE TO COPY OR REPOST MY WORK TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM! DON’T STEAL! Reblogs, likes and comments ALWAYS welcomed. THANK YOU @waywardodysseys as always for reading over my work and helping me flush out ideas!!

Taglist is open!

Your marriage was over. You’d come home early from work to find that your husband of three years had been cheating on you with the person you thought was your best friend. They didn’t even try to defend themselves, or cover up what they’d done. No excuses were made. Without even stopping to think, or to call anyone you’d simply walked out of the room, headed to your daughter’s room and an autopilot started shoving clothes and other necessities into a bag. While you packed your husband managed to pull his pants up long enough to come into your daughter’s room and make sure to let you know every way in which the affair was your fault, not his. He made sure to drill it home that you were inadequate and had you been enough he wouldn’t have had to step out. You paused to stare at him blankly. His words sinking in.

“Well then, I’ll make it easy for you, you piece of shit.” You said, firmly, finally finding your voice, “Consider the marriage over.You are now free to fuck whatever whore you want to. Not that being married actually meant anything to you. You won’t have to worry about being a father either, not that you were much of one anyway. Gracie and I will be just fine on our own.”

“You know I never wanted a kid anyway, Y/N.” He spat, “Only knocked you up to shut you up.”

“Thank you for making this so much easier.” You said. You hurried to grab the rest of what you thought Gracie would need. Your sweet little girl was at the sitter’s, blissfully unaware that her whole world was about to explode. At two you knew she wouldn’t remember any of this when she got bigger. You would do whatever you had to do in the divorce to ensure you got full and sole custody of your child. You wouldn’t allow her to be tainted by your soon to be ex husband.

Not even caring about any of your own belongings, nothing seeming important enough to go back into your shared bedroom, you gathered your purse and Gracie’s belongings, and slammed out of the house. After throwing everything into the trunk of your late model Toyota Camry you jumped into the driver’s side and backed out of the drive. You knew it would all hit you once the numbness wore off and that you’d probably be an emotional mess but all you prayed it wouldn’t be until you were as far from your hometown as possible.

You knew your parents would be of no help or comfort. Your dad was an asshole and your mom drank to numb the pain of being married to said asshole. Your only other family was your big brother, who was currently stationed in San Diego at Top Gun. With no other options or ideas, you knew that once you’d picked up Gracie, that’s where the two of you would head.

It was the middle of the night the next day by the time you pulled into your brother’s driveway. You hadn’t called to let him know you were coming, simply wanting to keep driving, putting as much distance between you and your hometown and broken marriage as you could. The further you got from Texas the lighter you felt, the easier you could breathe. Gracie had been amazing on the trip, seeming to know that her momma needed to get them to a better place.

Turning off the car, you quietly unbuckled and got out, stretching your stiff muscles. Knowing your brother it was a distinct possibility he had company spending the night, and you hoped he wouldn’t be mad by the sudden appearance of his little sister and niece on his doorstep. The two of you had always been close growing up, just you against the world. It sucked when he’d left for the Academy and then flight school, but he’d made sure to always make sure you had a way to contact him and he was there whenever he could be.

You carefully got Gracie out of the car, cradling her sleeping form as you made your way up the steps to the door. Juggling her in your arms to free a hand, you knocked as loudly as you dared so as not to wake the sleeping toddler.

The front porch light flipped on and you could hear the lock click before the front door opened and your brother was in front of you, hair disheveled from sleep, eyes squinting against the light of the porch.

“Y/N?” He said, voice rough from sleep, “Tulip, what are you doin’ here? Is everything ok? Is Gracie ok?”

“Jakey…” You choked out, all of the emotions from the last 24 hours bubbling over, tears starting to spill down your cheeks.

Jake carefully pulled you and Gracie into his arms, embracing you carefully, concern etched on his face. He didn’t know what had caused his baby sister to show up on his doorstep, but he knew whatever it was, wasn’t good.

He gently pulled you into the house, closing the door quietly behind you, locking it once more and shutting off the porch light.

“Here, let me take Gracie” He said gently, “I’ll lay her in the guest room and put pillows between her and the floor. Grab a drink or whatever you need or want from the kitchen and I’ll be right back.”

You blindly walked to the kitchen pulling out a bottle of water from the fridge for yourself and one for Jake, not knowing if he’d be thirsty. You walked back to the living room and melted down onto the couch, pulling your knees up and resting your head on them, your arms wrapped around yourself. You heard Jake come back into the living room shortly after, carefully sitting down on the couch next to you and pulling you close so you were resting against his side.

“What happened, Sweetheart?” he asked, “Where’s Trent?”

“I wasn’t sure where else to go…” You whispered, “I’m sorry for just showing up on your doorstep in the middle of the night.”

“Tulip, you can show up on my doorstep anytime, day or night.” Jake said, pulling you tighter against him. “But I’m not going to lie, you’ve got me pretty worried right now.”

“I’m sorry, Jakey.” You said, tears running down your cheeks again, unable to keep them in check.

“Sweetheart, stop apologizing.” He said, gently. “Talk to me. What happened?”

“I came home from work early yesterday… “ You started, staring straight ahead at the wall. “Trent had apparently also gotten done with work early as he was already home… in bed… with Stephanie.”

“Fuck.” Jake said, “I’m so sorry, Tulip.” He wasn’t sure what else to say, if there was anything to say. He knew that you knew he’d never liked Trent. Didn’t think he was good enough for his baby sister. Not many would be considered good enough…if anyone at all. “What happened when you found him?”

“They didn’t even try to hide it or apologize or offer any fake excuses.” You said, numbly adding “Trent said it’s my fault… I wasn’t enough to keep him happy. He said he never even wanted Gracie and that he just got me pregnant to shut me up.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” Jake said coldly, “He doesn’t deserve you or Gracie. I’ll make sure he never sees either of you again. Nobody hurts my girls.”

“I didn’t figure mom or dad would be of any help.” You whispered, all energy and fight completely drained from you. You were with your big brother and knew you were safe to fall apart. “Can Gracie and I stay with you until I get on my feet again? I can’t go back. There’s nothing left there for us.”

“You don’t even have to ask, Sweetheart.” He replied, “You both have a home with me whenever you need it, however long you need it and wherever I am. Go on up and crawl in with Gracie. Get some sleep. We will sort everything out in the morning. I can run out and get whatever we need.”

“I only grabbed stuff for Gracie.” You admitted, “I couldn’t bring myself to step foot into my bedroom with her still in my bed. In hindsight, leaving all of my clothes was probably stupid.”

“Nope.” He replied, “Gives me all the more reason to spoil my baby sister. I’ve got tomorrow off anyway. I’ll call in some help and we’ll get it sorted.”

Jake stood up and pulled you up, leading you to the room he’d put Gracie to bed in and hugged you goodnight. He made mental notes of everything you’d need and decided he’d need to enlist some help tomorrow as he made his way back to his own room and fell back into bed. One thing he knew for certain, he’d do whatever he could to make sure nobody hurt his baby sister or sweet niece ever again.

The next morning you woke up to the smell of coffee and food wafting into the room, and the sound of your daughter giggling. You smiled, rubbing your eyes. Every opportunity Jake had over the last two years he’d spent with you and Gracie either visiting in Texas or flying you both out to see him. Gracie thought Uncle Jake hung the moon and stars and had him wrapped around her tiny pinky. You knew he’d already hatched a plan to start spoiling your daughter.

You quickly used the bathroom next to the guest room, before heading to the kitchen. Jake had Gracie sitting on the counter playing with measuring cups while he made breakfast. There was a plate of pancakes already made and he had moved onto eggs and bacon.

“Morning Tulip.” He greeted you with a bright smile, his dimples on full display. “Coffee is in the pot. There’s creamer and sugar if you want it. Breakfast is almost ready. My favorite little princess here has been keeping me company.”

“Hi Mommy!” Gracie beamed, happy and oblivious to the upheaval.

“I see that. Hi Baby Girl!” You replied, kissing her head before pulling a mug out of the cupboard and heading to the coffee pot. Jake had given you one of his old Navy shirts and a pair of cotton shorts to wear to sleep in. You had to roll the waistband over several times in order to make them fit without falling to your knees. Clothes and essentials were your top priority today. “Thank you, Jakey.”

“Sweetheart you’ve got to stop thanking me.” He replied, “We’re family. As far as I’m concerned you and Princess Gracie are the only real family I’ve got. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you two.”

You offered him a small smile, returning your attention to making your coffee. When he’d finished making breakfast he made a plate of food and pulled Gracie from the counter to sit on his lap and eat breakfast with him, sharing his food with the toddler.

“She can sit with me, Jake.” You offered, “You cooked, you should get to enjoy your breakfast.”

“I am enjoying my breakfast.” He answered, blowing a raspberry on Gracie’s cheek and making her erupt in belly giggles. “The circumstances for y’all being here suck, but I’ve missed my two favorite girls. I’m really happy you’re here.”

“Despite everything that’s happened, I’m happy we’re too, Bubs.” You replied, offering him the first real smile since arriving. “We’ve missed you too, haven’t we Gracie Girl?”

“Wuv Unko Jakey!” Gracie exclaimed, squirming around to plan a very sticky kiss on her favorite uncle’s cheek. You laughed, getting up to grab a wet napkin so he could wipe the syrup from his face.

“Unko Jakey loves you too Princess G!” Jake replied not minding the sticky kiss from his favorite little girl.

As you finished breakfast, you cleared the table. You got Gracie occupied playing with some clean pots on the floor while you tackle the dishes and kitchen clean up. You sent Jake off to the shower, not letting him argue about who got clean up duties.

Once the kitchen was set to rights again, and all the dishes were done, you scooped up Gracie and headed to the guestroom to dig through the bag Jake had already brought in and got her changed. You dreaded putting on the dirty clothes from traveling but it was literally all you had.

Jake, finished in the shower, and fully dressed, reclaimed Gracie from you, telling you to jump in the shower and get ready. He’d snuck your clothes to the wash last night after sending you to bed and got up to put them in the dryer earlier that morning. You had never been more grateful for being blessed with an amazing brother.

When you emerged from the bathroom, showered, hair down and clean clothes on, you almost felt like a new person.

“It’s amazing what a shower can do for someone’s spirit and mental well being.” You said, walking into the living room.

Jake had Gracie on the couch with him watching cartoons while he’d been on his phone texting his adopted family, the Daggers, for reinforcements. He knew the two of you would need help getting furniture and supplies, getting everything set up, and supervising a very active toddler. Rooster had surprisingly been the first to reply, saying he’d be there in twenty minutes. Mav replied back saying to let him know when you need help with getting stuff set up and he’d come over. Phoenix immediately had offered babysitting duties, saying the other guys couldn’t be trusted. Coyote and Payback replied they’d be over to help assemble and move stuff and would bring pizza and beer for everyone.

You and Gracie were his only blood family, but he had secured a spot in a bigger family that he knew would always have his back. Despite the rocky start, he hoped they knew he’d always have their back too.

“I’m glad you’re energized again, Tulip!” Jake replied, “Because we’ve got our work cut out for us today. I’ve called in help.”

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door, and two more car doors slamming. Jake jumped up to open the door.

“Thanks for coming.” Jake said, opening the door wide to allow his friends into the house.

“Of course, man.” A very tall, attractive man with a mustache replied, stepping in. He smiled at Gracie who was now peaking over the side of the couch, curious about the new people. Her green eyes that matched your and Jake’s watchful eyes. “You must be Princess Gracie.”

“The one and only!” Jake confirms, beaming like the proud uncle he is. “Gracie, this is my friend Rooster. Can you come say hi?”

Gracie, who was normally very shy, carefully crawled down off the couch and walked over to her uncle. She peaked her head around his leg, staring up at Rooster.

He crouched down closer to your daughter’s level, giving her time to warm up to him.

“Hi, Sweetheart.” He said, gently, a warm smile on his face. “I’m Bradley, or Rooster, you pick. Can I help you and your Uncle Jake set you up a princess room?

“Hi Woosta” Gracie greeted him, a smile on her face. “Pwincess Woom Pwease.”

“You got it, sweetheart!” He promised, winking at her before standing back up.

“Rooster, this is my baby sister Y/N” Jake said making the introductions, “Tulip, this is Bradley Bradshaw, or Rooster.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N” Bradley said, “I feel like we all already know you though from the amount Jake talks about you.”

“Uh oh.” You replied, cringing, “Maybe don’t believe everything he says. It’s nice to meet you too, Bradley.”

“Hey, I only ever talk about how amazingly wonderful my baby sister is.” Jake argues in mock indignation. “And how adorable and smart my little Princess G is!”

“He’s telling the truth.” A new, female voice added, stepping into the house. Followed by another man.

“Phoenix” Jake said, smiling brightly at her, “You’re a lifesaver, Darlin’”

“Hey! I made it over here first, am I just chopped liver now?” Bradley pouted, playfully. You could already see you’d like these people a lot. Something in the way your brother looked and talked to Phoenix intrigued you too. His whole demeanor changed when she’d walked in…he became lighter…almost brighter as soon as she’d stepped foot inside the house. It was making sense now too why she was the only one you’d ever heard a lot about from your brother. You made a mental note to investigate that further later.

“We all know this mission would be a disaster if you two are in charge.” Phoenix laughed, then turned towards you “I’m Natasha Trace, or Phoenix.”

“Nice to meet you, Natasha.” You replied, smiling, “I’ve actually heard a lot about you too.” Pink creeped over Jake’s ears and cheeks when you busted him out.

“And this is Bob.” Jake said, diverting attention, “He’s Phoenix’s backseater, and generally the one that keeps the rest of us out of too much trouble.”

“Well that’s got to be a full time job, Bob.” You laughed, “Just keeping Jake out of trouble would be a lot of work.”

“They have their moments.” Bob laughed, “It’s nice to meet you, Y.N.”

Gracie tugged at Jake’s pant leg, looking up at her uncle. Jake swung her up into his arms, holding her close. Gracie leaned into whisper loudly, in his ear.

“She pwetty, Unco Jakey.” She said, peaking at Phoenix from under her very long lashes.

Jake smiled widely, turning his face to whisper back in Gracie’s ear, “She sure is, Princess G.”

Phoenix smiled at your daughter, blushing at the interaction. She didn’t quite know how to handle Jake’s response.

“Ok, so we need a game plan.” Bob said, “We’ve got a room to make over, furniture to buy, and let’s be honest, we probably need to childproof this house.”

“And Y/N needs a new wardrobe.” Jake added, “And my Princess G probably needs some clothes too.”

“Jake.” You piped up, “You're not remodeling or making over your house to accommodate us. We just need a few things. Gracie and I are fine sharing a bed.”

“Nope. I said what I said.” He replied stubbornly, “The small room next to the guest room acting as an office right now is getting moved to the garage. Princess G will get that as her princess room. You can change, add to, or take out anything from the guest room to make it your own. We need a high chair, or booster at least, I need an extra car seat for my truck, we need a stroller…preferably a jogger so my favorite girl can go running with me… what am I missing?”

“TOYS!” Bradley said looking around at the room, “Princess Gracie needs toys!”

“Yes!” Jake said, smacking his head, “We need toys.”

“Jacob!” You said, eyes wide, exasperated with your brother.

“Y/N!” He tossed back, eyes stubbornly locking on your own before softening, “Tulip, y’all have been through hell. You’re getting a fresh start here. I wasn’t there when it all went to hell. Let me do this.”

“Fine.” You relented, shoulders sagging, “You win.”

“OK! So…a plan.” Phoenix said, “How about Y/N and I take Gracie and go get clothes and all of that kinda stuff. Then we can take Gracie to my apartment to nap while you all go get paint and furniture and that kind of stuff and start the room makeover.”

“You ok with that, Tulip?” Jake asked, making sure you were comfortable.

“Yeah, as long as you’re all ok with giving up your day off for us?” You replied, glancing at your brother’s friends.

“Absolutely” Bradley assured, his warm smile and honey gaze making warmth rush over you. “We take family pretty seriously in this squad, Y/N.”

“Rooster’s right.” Phoenix replied, stepping closer Gracie in Jake’s arms, tapping her playfully on her button nose and making her giggle, “and this cutie just inherited a whole lot of uncles and an aunt to spoil her rotten.”

Tears burned behind your eyes, suddenly overcome with emotions. The last three years of your marriage the only friend that your douchebag husband had allowed you to have was Stephanie, isolating you from everyone else. You now understood how she had made the cut. He’d even tried to drive you apart from your brother but was satisfied in just knowing he was stationed away from you so wasn’t a threat. Looking back, you should have seen the red flags, realized what his plan had been. Hindsight really was a bitch.

Phoenix sensed you were on the verge of breaking down. She turned, taking Gracie from Jake’s arms, your daughter going straight to her.

“Let’s go shopping and get you and Mommy some new princess clothes ok?” She said, “Uncle Jake will get your room all pretty for you and find you some new toys!”

“Yay! Toys!” Gracie cheered, “Mommy! We go bye bye!”

You laughed, blinking back the tears, choking down the emotions and memories.

“Ok, Baby Girl.” You said, “Let’s go bye bye.”

“Bye bye Unco Jakey, Woosta, and BOB” Gracie said, waving.

“Bye Princess G!” Jake said, blowing her a kiss. “Be good for Mommy and Nix ok”?

“Ok!” She agreed, “Wuv you!”

“Love you too!” He smiled at her, “Have fun, Tulip. No worries today, ok? We’ll work it all out.”

“Thank you.” You said, “All of you. Jakey please don’t go overboard, I love you.”

“Love you too, Tulip.” He replied, not promising to not go overboard.

“Let’s go get supplies and call in the rest of the Daggers.” Bradley suggested, “We’re gonna needs all hands on deck to get this done today.”

You opted to take your car since the car seat was already in the back. You quickly buckled Gracie in before getting into the driver’s side. Phoenix gave you directions to the nearest mall that would have the best options for clothing and stuff for Gracie. You’d hit up a Target on the way back to get the rest of the stuff you’d need.

Once at the mall, you rented one of the strollers since you’d left Gracie’s back in Texas. You were actually surprised your phone hadn’t been blowing up with calls or texts from Trent since you’d been gone almost 48 hours by this point. You knew it was only a matter of time.

“Let’s start with finding stuff for you.” Phoenix suggested. “I think you deserve a bit of a pick me up, Y/N/”

“It’s been one hell of a couple of days.” You acknowledged. “Shit, I no called no showed at work… won’t be getting a positive referral from them I suppose.”

“I’m sure we can find you something here without any reference from them.” She replied “and besides, most would be understanding under the circumstances.”

“Probably.” You agreed. “So… are you and Jake close? He’s talked briefly about the team, but really has talked about you the most.”

“We’re… complicated.” She replied, “I’ve known him since the Academy. We’ve always been competitive with one another. He pushes me to be the best pilot I can be… I’ve seen a few sides to Hangman, but I honestly can’t figure out which is the real him.”

“My brother is complicated.” You agreed, “He’s always been guarded with people…we kinda had to be growing up in our house. He is fiercely loyal to those who make it past the outer shell. I know my brother can be… a lot. He can be cocky and sometimes comes across as arrogant. I imagine that’s more in line with the “Hangman” you guys tend to see. Inside though… Jake…. He’s the guy you saw at the house today. He’s an amazing Uncle, protector, and fun loving guy. He is the best brother I could have ever asked for. He’s the guy who would do anything for his family…for his friends. He’s the one that would disobey orders and fly off a carrier to save his friends. He’s the Jake that lit up as soon as you walked into the house today. Happy that you came, happy that you were there.”

“The more I see of Jake… outside of work… and when he drops the front of Hangman…the more I genuinely like him.” She admitted, “Your brother is beyond good looking…more good looking that he has a right to be… he’s got lots of women turning their heads for him when we’re at the Hard Deck, Y/N, women a whole lot prettier than me…I don’t think he’d ever see me like that.”

“I thought you had to have pretty decent vision to be an aviator” You asked.

“I mean, mostly, yes… glasses are allowed… why?” She replied, confused.

“I just didn’t realize they let you fly if you were clearly blind.” You shrugged, smirking at her. “Because, you, Natasha… are blind.”

She laughed, ducking her head, before looking back up, “Let’s get you outfitted with some new clothes.”

Several stores and more money than you’d spent on clothing in probably your lifetime later, you had enough clothes to get you started. Phoenix had talked you into a few cute sundresses, saying you never knew when you’d need them. You’d also gotten several pairs of jeans and shorts, tops, bras, panties, a swimsuit and shoes. With your wardrobe squared away, you’d moved onto finding a few more outfits for Gracie and sandals before leaving the mall.

You decided to stop for a quick lunch before heading to Target to get toiletries, diapers, booster seat, new car seat, stroller and toys. Jake had texted while you were out telling you not to buy a bed for Gracie because he’d already found one.

Gracie ended up passing out in the car seat while you drove to Phoenix’s apartment. Thankfully hers was on the first floor so no carrying a sleeping toddler up stairs. She unlocked her door and led you to the bedroom where you laid your daughter on the bed, placing pillows around her in case she rolled.

After getting Gracie settled the two of you sat down on the couch with glasses of iced tea. Your phone dinged with an incoming message. Assuming it was Jake you pulled your phone out, opening your message.

Trent: You’ve had your tantrum. Get your ass home.

You had to fight down the bile rising in your throat while reading the text.

“Everything ok, Y/N?” Phoenix asked, seeing all the color drain from your face.

“It’s Trent.” You admitted.

“You don’t have to respond to him until you’re ready.” She said, “Hell you can ignore his ass completely and direct all communication through lawyers.”

“I can’t afford a lawyer, Nat.” You whispered, tears springing to your eyes. “What am I going to do?”

“Hey,” She said gently, grasping your hand in comfort, “Between all of us, we’ll get it figured out. There are lots of options. In the meantime, don’t engage with him… save any and all texts and voicemails.”

“Can I tell you something I haven’t admitted to anyone else?” You asked, knowing you could trust her.

“Of course, Y/N.” She assured you, “You can talk to me about anything. Whatever it is will stay between us.”

“It’s pathetic that after everything else that happened the last three years, it was him cheating with someone I thought was my best friend that woke me up and fueled me to leave.” You said, “But in reality it should have been the times he called me worthless, told me that I was lucky he felt sorry for me and married me because nobody else would want me…. Told me I was useless as a wife and mother. Isolated me from all my friends… made me dependent upon him. Convinced me on some level that Jake left because he didn’t want to be bothered with me…that he was lucky to be away from me.”

“Fuck.” She said, blowing out a breath. “There’s a lot to unpack there… Most importantly though, he was wrong. So. Fucking. Wrong… about all of it. You cannot blame yourself for anything he did or said. I know it’s harder said than done. If nothing else, you owe it to Gracie to show her that her mom is a badass, strong woman who knows her worth. Trent.. That his name? He is a spineless worthless piece of crap who doesn’t deserve to lick the dirt from your boots…if you had any… and he sure as shit doesn't deserve to be a dad to that sweet girl in there.”

“Thank you, Nat.” You said, tears streaming down your face. It felt really good to confide in someone. You knew if you told Jake he’d probably fly his f-18 to Texas and kill Trent. You also knew though that you would have to talk to your brother at some point because you had a feeling the divorce would be ugly. “I guess maybe I’m just meant to be single… I kinda suck at choosing the right man.”

“How about this…” She said, “When the time comes, you’re ready to get back out there and date… you let me and maybe Jake weed out the losers and help you find a good one.”

“If it were up to Jake, I’d remain single for life.” You said, chuckling. “He’s always been a little overprotective… I actually didn’t get to really date or get serious with a guy until he’d left for the Academy… hence Trent.”

“Let’s not tell him that.” Phoenix said, “One thing I do know about your brother is that he takes on guilt very easily when he shouldn’t. Blames himself for stuff that is absolutely not in his control.”

“Yeah…” You agree, he definitely did blame himself for things he had no blame in.

Your phone dinged again, several times in succession.

Trent: Grow the fuck up, Y/N. Bring the brat and your ass home.

Trent: You will regret running off. I’ll make sure you and the brat don’t see your precious brother again.

Trent: Are you fucking someone else? Did you run off to whore yourself to someone stupid enough to take you in?

Trent: ANSWER THE FUCKING TEXTS Y/N!

Having not gotten a response, your phone suddenly started ringing. Seeing it was Trent you immediately sent it to voicemail.

“Jesus” Phoenix said, “I’m going to text Jake and tell him to text or call me if they need anything. Turn your phone off, Y/N. You don’t need that stress.”

Knowing she was probably right you went ahead and turned off your phone and tucked it into your back pocket. You sighed, head falling back against the couch in utter defeat. Everything was catching up to you, and you were exhausted. Deciding to take a breather while you could, you closed your eyes, telling yourself it was just for a moment. Your body took advantage of you letting your guard down and you drifted off to sleep.

Phoenix called Jake, getting up to move to the kitchen where she hopefully wouldn’t wake you up.

“Hey, Nix” Jake said, “You ladies have fun shopping?”

“Yeah” She replied, “Gracie and Y/N are actually sleeping right now. Gracie passed out in the car and Y/N just fell asleep on the couch… Jake, I had her turn her phone off. You might want to take her and get her added to your plan and change her number. That douchebag sent her a lot of nasty texts then started calling her. She got really pale and had a broken look in her eyes.”

“FUCK!” He yelled, “I swear, I’m gonna kill that guy, Nix. I’ve always fucking hated him but I love my sister more and didn’t want to lose her.”

“She’s scared she doesn’t have options.” She said, “I told her we’d figure it out together. I’ll start searching for lawyers and stuff while she is sleeping. We will head back that way when they wake up.”

“I won’t let anything else happen to them.” Jake promised, “Did she say if he physically hurt her or Gracie?”

“I know your sister enough just in the little time I’ve spent with her to know that had he laid a finger on Gracie Y/N would have killed him.” Phoenix said, “I don’t know if he got physical with her though. Talk to her… she’s gonna need you.”

“She’ll always have me, Nix.” He said, “My sister and Gracie have always and will always come first.”

“You’re a good guy, Jake.” Phoenix admitted. “We should be back soon. Do we need to get food or drinks or anything on the way?”

“No, Coyote and Payback are bringing pizzas and beer. I already have juice and milk for Gracie, and sodas for everyone too.” Jake said.

“OK. See you soon.” She said.

“Thanks Nix.” He said before hanging up.

Phoenix grabbed her laptop and started to look for lawyers in the area that specialize in family law.

Jake’s POV

He had to take several deep breaths after hanging up with Phoenix to get himself back in check. It really was taking everything in him not to fly back to Texas and beat the living tar out of Trent. The fact that his sister and niece needed him was the only thing keeping him there.

“Everything ok, man?” Bradley asked, see how upset Jake was. “Did something happen while the girls were shopping?”

“Phoenix said Trent started sending harassing texts and calls to Y/N.” Jake replied, “Said she was visibly shaken by them. I swear to God if I ever find out he laid a finger on my sister I will make him wish he’d never been born.”

“What’s important now is that Y/N and Gracie are here, Jake.” Bradley said, “They’ve got you… and all of us to protect them now. He can’t touch them again.”

“I never liked him. He was too smarmy. Too smooth.” Jake said, “Y/N just said I was being overprotective when I told her I didn’t think he was good for her. I should have pushed harder… tried harder to protect her.”

“Jake.” Bradley said, putting his hand on Jake’s shoulder, “Had you pushed harder you might have pushed her away completely and then she wouldn’t have had you to come to now. You can’t change or fix the past. You can be there for her now and help her get back on her feet…. Help her to feel like she’s in control again.”

“Thanks Rooster.” Jake said, sighing. He knew his friend was right. All he could do now was help his sister get her footing back. “You’re right… My sister is stubborn as hell. She’s also the strongest woman I’ve ever known. She just needs help remembering she’s a badass Seresin.”

“There ya go.” Bradley laughed, “Now, come on… let’s finish Princess G’s room. Mav and Penny are on their way with the decor. Paint should be dry with all the fans we have going, and Bob said that the rest of the reinforcements just showed up to help assemble some furniture.”

“I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you all for this.” Jake said, “Seriously, this means the world to me…to my sister.”

“Hangman…we’re a family now, Man, remember?” Bradley asked, “It’s what we do.”

“Alright!” Bob said, coming back into the house, trailed by the rest of the team “Reinforcements. Operation Build a Princess room is a go!”

With Bob taking over, directing everyone, they managed to get all of the bedroom furniture assembled for Gracie, complete with the canopy bed Jake found at the local furniture store, in no time. They just finished moving it all into the room and setting it up when Mav and Penny arrived with the bedding, curtains, a few wall hangings and a princess lamp.

“Wow.” Jake said taking in everything they picked up, “You guys were thorough.”

“Amelia went through a princess stage when she was little so I’ve had practice.” Penny said, “It was nice shopping for a little girl again. It’s been awhile.”

“I was just along to carry bags and keep her company.” Mav admitted laughing, “Everything going ok? I can get you a few more days off if you need them, Jake.”

“Thanks Mav.” He replied, “I might need a couple of days to help her get the divorce going…and get her a new fucking phone number.”

“Consider it done.” Mav replied, “And let us know if there is anything we can do to help.”

“You’ve all already done so much.” Jake replied, “I’m really grateful for all of you.”

“Go get the living room cleared of the boxes and tools.” Penny said, “I’ll finish this room for Gracie.”

Your POV

After waking up on Phoenix’s couch you apologized for falling asleep. She quickly reassured you it was completely fine. Not long after, Gracie woke from her nap too. You changed her diaper before you filled a sippy cup with watered down juice, handing it to her as you put her shoes back on.

“I called Jake while you were sleeping and just let him know your phone was off and why. I didn’t share anything else with him though.” Phoenix assured you. “I told him we’d come back as soon as you and Gracie woke up.”

“Thanks, Nat.” You smiled, “I promise, as soon as I have a chance, I’ll talk to Jake. I don’t want you to have to keep secrets. It’s not fair to you. I haven’t been able to have friends for awhile and apparently the one I did have wasn’t really a friend… I could really use a friend.”

“You’ve got one.” She promised, hugging you tightly.

“Thank you” You said, hugging her back. “We should probably go make sure they’re not going completely overboard.”

“I’m gonna go ahead and guess it’s already too late for that.” She replied, laughing, “None of the guys on the squad are known for restraint… it usually takes Bob and me both to keep them in line.”

“Great.” You said, rolling your eyes. “Let’s go see your new kingdom, Princess Gracie.”

“Yay!” She replied, only understanding you were going bye bye again.

When you pulled back up at Jake’s there were considerably more cars than before. Thankfully though, they’d left the spot open next to Jake’s truck. You pulled in and turned the car off. The front door opened and Jake, Bradley and someone you’d not yet met came out.

“Princess G!” Jake said, making grabby hands towards you when you pulled her out of the car seat. There were bags piled in the backseat and in the trunk from your shopping spree.

“Unco Jakey!” Gracie squealed, reaching for Jake.

“I missed you my beautiful Princess!” He said, “Uncle Jake has a surprise for you!”

“Pwise?” She asked, eyes growing wide. Jake winked at you before carrying your daughter into the house.

“Here let us help Y/N” Bradley said, stepping towards you, smiling. His smile was starting to do things to you.

“I can get these bags, if you guys want to grab the bigger stuff in the trunk?” You said, returning his smile.

“We’re on it, Sweetheart.” He replied, walking around to the trunk and starting to pull out everything you’d gotten for Gracie.

Once inside, you took the bags to the bedroom to be sorted, while the guys stacked all of the bigger purchases in the living room.

You went to the room next to the guest room that had been designated as the princess room and peaked your head in the door.

“Mommy!” Gracie squealed, happily. “Pwincess Woom!”

“Yes, Gracie” You smiled in amazement, walking into the room. “You do have a princess room. Did you tell everyone thank you?”

‘Fank You!” She parroted, running over to hug Jake.

“You’re very welcome, Princess G.” Jake said, picking up the toddler. “What do you think, Tulip?”

“It’s amazing, Jake.” You said, once more overcome with emotion. “You did not have to do all of this.”

“Oh, we definitely did.” He assured you, “Come on, let me introduce you to the rest of the crew. “

You followed him out to the other room where there was an assembly line happening with some on setting up the food and the rest unboxing toys, the stroller, and the booster seat.

“Gracie girl! Wanna see your new toys?” Bradley asked, pulling one of the baby dolls from a box.

“Woosta!” She said, squirming until Jake put her down, running as fast as her little leg would carry her to Bradley. “Toys pwease!”

“Here you go, Sweetpea.” He said, handing her the doll. To his shock and delight, Gracie crawled into his lap and sat happily playing with her new doll. You melted at the sight of this sweet man being so good to your daughter. All of the men here had already treated her better and shown her more love than her own father had in her entire life.

To keep from breaking down in tears, for what felt like the millionth time in two days, you hurried over to help get plates and drinks ready for everyone so they could eat.

“Y/N, this is Penny” Phoenix said introducing you, “She came in clutch with the decor! Couldn’t leave that to the men. She also owns the Hard Deck, where we seem to congregate when we’re not in the skies or on missions.”

“It’s so nice to meet you.” You replied, smiling, “Thank you so much for making my daughter’s room so beautiful. It means so much to us.”

“Of course!” She replied, “I’ve got a soft spot for Jake. I’ve also done the single parent thing with a deadbeat ex. I get it. If you need anything, I am just a phone call away.”

“Thank you” You said again, taking a deep breath. “You’ve all been amazing… I can never repay the kindness.”

“That’s the beauty of family, Y/N.” Phoenix said, “Repayment isn’t expected. We take care of each other.”

“I’m starting to see that.” You replied.

“Hey Tulip,” Jake said, coming up behind you, his arm dropping over your shoulder. He dropped a kiss on top of your head, “You doing ok? Did you get everything you needed for you?”

“I’m ok, Jakey” You replied, “I think I got everything I needed.”

“Good.” He replied, “Mav said he’d help me get the next couple of days off too so we’ll tackle the other problems then ok? Try to relax and just enjoy tonight.”

“Jake.” You replied, “I feel bad enough for crashing your bachelor pad, interrupting your life… I don’t want to interfere with your career too!”

“His career is just fine,” A new, gentle voice added. “He’s earned a few days off… we normally have to force him to take some R&R anyway.”

“Y/N, this is Captain Pete Mitchell, or Maverick.” Jake said introducing you. Jake had a lot of respect for Maverick. He often talked about him when the two of you caught up. He’d become more than just a commanding officer to Jake, he was his mentor and almost a father-figure.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Sir.” You replied, “Jake has told me a lot about you. It’s nice to have a face to go with the stories.”

“No need for formality, Y/N” He laughed, “Pete or Maverick is fine. It’s nice to meet you too. Your brother is quite proud of his little sister and niece. He’s talked about the two of you as well.”

“We’re pretty damn proud of him too.” You said, smiling lovingly at your big brother.

“Mommy, I hungwy” Gracie said, tugging at your shorts. “I eat pwease.”

“Of course, Baby Girl!” you said picking her up, “Let’s get you some dinner.”

Later that night once everyone had cleared out and Gracie was bathed and sound asleep in your new room, you sat down on the couch with Jake.

“Starting over is exhausting.” You sighed, “Thank you, Jakey. I know you told me to stop thanking you, but I can’t. You are quite literally saving us. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’ll never have to find out, Tulip.” He said, wrapping his arm around you and tucking you into his side. “It’s you and me against the world, remember?”

“We seem to have picked up a few more people since we were kids, hiding in the treehouse out back.” You replied, “You’ve found a great group, Jakey. A great family.”

“Yeah they are.” He agreed, “Getting called back to Top Gun for that mission… The Daggers forming… is probably the best thing that’s happened to me. I found a purpose finally. I don’t feel the need to always have to prove myself…I don’t always have to be Hangman, I can just be… Jake.”

“You should let them see Jake more often.” You replied, nudging him. “I know a certain female pilot that would probably love to see the softer Jake more often.”

“Staaaahhp” He groaned, “I already have Coyote and Rooster up my ass about Phoenix. It’s… complicated, Tulip.”

“The best things in life usually are.” You pointed out.

“Anyway… “ He said, his green eyes playfully glaring at you, “First thing tomorrow we’ll go get you a new phone number and I’ll add you to my line. Actually… it’s better if we get you a whole new phone and number… then we can keep this one and keep saving texts and voicemails.”

“I don’t even want to know how many messages have come through since I turned it off.” You groaned, “Jakey, this is all becoming too much. You shouldn’t have to add me to your line or be spending so much money. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Y/N Y/M/N Seresin.” He growled, “I am your big brother. I will always be here to catch you when you need it. I don’t give a flying fuck about money, in fact, I like getting to spoil my baby sister and niece. You and Gracie will never be a burden to me. Do you understand? You. Are. My. Family. Now, hand over the phone, Tulip. I want to see what we’re dealing with.”

“I want to be a Seresin again.” You replied quietly, you hated that you carried that asshole’s name. You’d actually never wanted to take his name, but he’d insisted. “I want Gracie to be a Seresin too.”

“Then we’ll make it happen, Sweetheart.” He smiled gently, then held his hand out, making ‘gimme’ fingers. “Phone.”

You reached into your back pocket and pulled out the phone, handing it over to him. Jake turned it on, and waited for it to power up. Not surprisingly your phone started to ding with notifications in rapid succession. You felt your stomach knot instantly.

“I don’t suppose you know any amazing lawyers that would work for next to nothing do you?” You asked, “All of my money went to the joint account… and I don’t have access to it.”

“What do you mean you don’t have access?” Jake asked,“Like…you left the debit card back in Texas?”

“Trent took care of all of the bills and said I didn’t need to have access. I gave up fighting with him about it. He gave me cash to go get groceries and stuff that Gracie needed.” You replied, ducking your head, unable to make eye contact with your brother.

“Tulip.” He said gently, tucking his hand under your chin to pull your head back up. “Baby girl, why didn’t you tell me things weren’t good? I would have gotten you out of there… long before this.”

“I don’t know.” You whispered. You knew now was probably the time to tell him everything you’d told Phoenix earlier. “I guess I felt stupid. I let myself get backed into a corner and was too helpless to get out of it.”

“You are not stupid, Y/N.” Jake said firmly, “You aren’t helpless either. Anyone can find themselves backed into a corner, Tulip. In the end, you did leave. You got yourself and Gracie out. I need to know, Y/N… I need you to be honest with me.. Did he hurt you? Did he put hands on you? On Gracie? Judging from some of these texts I’ve read, I wouldn’t put it past him. It’s taking everything in me not to fly to Texas tonight.”

“No…never physically hurt me.” You confirmed, “And I’d have killed him had he laid hands on Gracie.”

“That’s one less crime against him I guess.” Jake said, his eyes an eerie cold green. You knew his anger wasn’t directed at you, but it was slightly intimidating nonetheless. “I’m guessing the same isn’t true about emotionally hurting you…”

And there was your opening. You unloaded the three years of emotional pain and turmoil right there on your brother. You told him about everything Trent had done and said, every negative belief he’d tried to engrain in you, the feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, hopelessness. By the time you finished, Jake’s fists were clenched so hard his knuckles were completely white. Anger rolled off of him in waves. You’d never seen Jake this upset before…this angry. You knew that vast majority of the anger was solely placed at Trent’s feet. But you knew your brother too… you knew he was now blaming himself. Which, honestly, was why you’d never told him what was happening.

“Jakey.” You said, putting your hand on his clenched fist, pulling him from his head. “I can read the thoughts rolling over in your head. I need you to hear me right now… are you listening?”

He looked up at you, his eyes finding your own. You could still see the anger, but you caught a glimpse of pure anguish in his eyes. It nearly broke you.

“I’m listening, Tulip.” He acknowledged, his voice thick with emotion.

“I need you to really hear me.” You repeated, “You. Are. Not. in any way shape or form to blame for anything that has happened in my life. NOTHING has ever been your fault Jake. You protected me and took care of me when our parents didn’t. You were my biggest cheerleader, giving me the courage to try new things. You had every right to go live your dreams, to escape what would have been a dead end life in Texas. You are not allowed to regret that. I am SO proud of you. You turned into an incredible man, Jake… DESPITE the example set for you from our father. You rose above all that and are such a sweet and caring soul. I am responsible for the choices I made and kept making. Trent is responsible for being a horrible human being and a piece of shit husband and father. YOU were here to catch me, Jake. Do you understand me? Please… do not place the blame for any of this anywhere but on Trent and me.”

“Tulip.” Jake said, his voice rough, tears falling down his cheeks. “I hear you… But, I’m your big brother. It’s always been my responsibility to keep you safe and protect you. I feel like I failed miserably at that job. I didn’t see through a situation I should have seen through. I should have picked up on the warning signs. I can’t promise to not blame myself for not getting you out sooner. I can promise to place the blame for the situation 100 percent at that rat bastard’s feet though. YOU, my sweet baby sister are not to blame either… Do you hear me? You are a victim here. Gracie is a victim. I will promise you though, and promise on my life… I will do everything in my power to get you and Gracie free from him. And no matter where I get sent in the future, I will always make sure you’re taken care of and have a safe place to land whenever you need it.”

“I love you Jake.” You said, tears falling down your own cheeks now. “I am the luckiest girl in the world to have you as my big brother.”

“I love you too, Y/N.” Jake said, pulling you over into a tight hug. “I’m the lucky one, Tulip.”

“I didn’t have being a divorced, jobless, single mom at 26 on my BINGO card.” You remarked dryly.

“Nothing wrong with being divorced,” Jake said, “Our lives would have been better had our parents split. The rest is easy enough to fix. We find you a job you like, get you set up with a bank account and as for being a single mom… you’re young, Tulip. You will meet someone great that loves you and Gracie. I’ll be vetting them this time… sorry, not sorry.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem, Jakey.” You replied, “I think I’m just going to focus on being a mom to Gracie and providing a great life for her. I’m a little gun shy with relationships. Not the best track record…”

“Give it time, Sweetheart.” He cautioned, “Don’t be too quick to slam doors. One step at a time though. I’m gonna wade through these messages. You go get some sleep.”

“Don’t engage with him though Jake.” You pleaded.

“Not planning on replying to anything, Tulip.” He said, “I promise.”

“Ok. Goodnight, Jakey.” You said getting up. You turned and dropped a kiss on his head, “I love you.”

“Love you too, Sweetheart.” He smiled, “Sweet Dreams.”

After you went towards your room, Jake spent a half hour going through all the messages, forwarding them to his own phone as back up. The more he read, the angrier he became. He got up to grab a beer from the fridge to take the edge off. Since he had the next day off, he didn’t feel guilty drinking.

Sitting back down on the couch, he pulled out his own phone and called Bradley.

“Everything alright?” Bradley asked as soon as he’d answered.

“I’ve been looking at the texts and listening to messages that Y/N’s soon to be EX husband is sending her and I’m so beyond angry, I just needed to be talked down.” Jake replied, “I sent her off to bed to get some sleep.”

“I don’t know how good I’ll be at talking you down from that man,” Bradley admitted, “Just spending the little time with her today that I did, I’d be right behind you in line to beat the shit of out of him.”

“Well shit, man, we can’t both end up in jail.” Jake laughed, “I just feel like I should have picked up on this much sooner and gotten her the fuck out.”

“You know it’s not your fault, Jake.” Bradley said, “The only person to blame in the entire scenario is that piece of shit.”

“That’s what Y/N said too” Jake admitted, “But I’m her big brother and have always been her protector.”

“She’s a smart woman. You should listen to her.” Bradley replied, “She also seems to be pretty damn tough so don’t discredit that. It sucks when you can’t protect the people you love from life. I get it. But you’re here now, you can protect them now. Plus you have a whole squad ready to throw down.”

“Thanks, Rooster,” Jake said. “She is tough… sometimes too tough. I’ll definitely make sure they’re protected at all costs now.”

“Your niece is probably the cutest kid I’ve ever met.” Bradley said, “Did she love her Princess room?”

“She is so perfect.” Jake gushed, “She went right to sleep, all snuggled into the blankets.”

“You should take her to the zoo while you’re off.” Bradley suggested, “I bet she’d absolutely adore that.”

“Good idea, man.” He said, “She would love it. So would Y/N. She’s always been crazy about animals. Would take her mind off things too.”

“No doubt about that.” Bradley agreed. “You good now?”

“Yeah.” Jake said, “Thank you. I might bring the girls by the base tomorrow, show them around.”

“Sounds good.” Bradley said, “Call me if you do, I’ll make sure everyone is available and we can show them all the planes.”

“Perfect. Goodnight Rooster.” Jake said.

“Goodnight, Hangman.” Bradley replied before hanging up.

Jake quickly finished his beer then headed to bed. He wanted to get as much accomplished tomorrow as possible and now he needed to plan a zoo trip.

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #jake hangman seresin #Miles Teller #top gun fanfiction

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swanimagines · 7 months

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CHAMPAGNE KISSES | NIKOLAI LANTSOV

Summary: Boring parties can always get some spice by taking a step back to have fun with your secret prince lover.

A/N: My new neighbor is a Paddy doppelgänger and looking at Nikolai gifs is now awkward for me to be honest 😂

Nikolai Lantsov had attended a fair share of parties during his lifetime - being a prince kind of required it. Gossiping with people, making small talk and feigning interest in their mundane lives. It wasn’t like he didn’t care of Ravkan people, but parties always had these posh upper class people who didn’t know anything less than expensive champagne with every meal, personal cooks, big manors with a dozen rooms they never visit and diamonds in every piece of jewerly. He would have much rather spend time with people who knew what actual life was, not being born inside a fancy bubble. But parties like these were mandatory to attend, so here he was, a glass of champagne in his hand.

He let his gaze wander around the hall, and saw you making your way towards him. He smiled a little at you, nodding as you settled yourself beside him and sighed.

“Hate these parties,” you grumbled. “And yet, my parents always drag me with them. It’s my duty as the heir of the family name, they say.”

Nikolai chuckled at your comment, finding comfort in how his secret lover felt the same way as he did. It wasn’t like he didn’t know it, but your words still made him feel better. “I know exactly what you mean. Same for me. Duty, duty, duty. It gets old after a while.”

You scoffed, tapping your fingers on your arm before a smirk spread on your face.

"C’mon," you said, "you need a reason to get out of here and I have one."

Nikolai raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? And what would that be?”

You giggled playfully, your hand grasping Nikolai’s as you started to pull him with you. “It’s a secret.”

“Lead the way, then.” Nikolai replied and you left your champagne glasses on one of the drawers as you ventured away from the ballroom. Soon, you were far enough from peering eyes, in a secluded corner and the moment you stepped there you spun around, pulling Nikolai in for a kiss. He had known to expect it, of course, and his hands found their way to your waist as he deepened the kiss, savoring the taste of your lips on his.

When you pulled away, Nikolai smirked at you. “So, this is the secret? You wanting to make out with me?”

“When I wouldn’t?” you mumbled, still staying close enough so your noses brushed together.

Nikolai chuckled again, his hands still on your waist. “No complaints from me.”

You kissed him again, this time with more passion than with the last one. This kiss lasted longer too, and you felt Nikolai’s hands roaming up and down your sides. Eventually though, he pulled away, leaving you trying to chase his lips for a moment.

“We should probably get back before someone misses us,” he told you, breathless from all the kissing you had just done.

“Yeah, probably,” you sighed, disappointment clear in your tone as you forced yourself to pull yourself away from his embrace, smoothing out your clothes and trying to settle your hair to look like it looked pre-kissing.

You wished it would be easier, not to be his secret lover, but a real one, acknowledged, being able to hold his hand and look at him like you wanted to look at him publicly too. But your family name wasn’t regal enough for a prince - Nikolai’s parents wouldn’t agree on it. So you were stuck like this, for now at least.

But Nikolai swore that one day, he’d find a way to make you his, with or without his parents’ consent. Some day, you’d be his, seen by Ravkan people like he saw you. He just hoped that day would be soon.

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov #grishaverse #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse imagine #sab #sab imagine #sab x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #gn reader #my works

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inlovewithregencyera · 3 months

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transcript under cut : )

Paelford House

July 8th, 1818

*Aurelia sniffling and starts softly crying*

*Aurelia starts violently sobbing*

July 8th, 1808

Auglire Castle

Robert: Sugarplum?

Robert: Sugarplum, where are you?

Robert: And why is it so damn dark in here?

Robert: Sugar?

Robert: Aurelia, please come out. It's your birthday and I have a surprise since nobody else in this damn castle seems to care.

Robert: Aurelia..?

*Aurelia sniffles*

Robert: There you are my dear. Whatever is the matter?

Aurelia: Leave me be Uncle Bertie. I wish to be alone today.

Robert: No, no I won't do that. It's your birthday and your foolish da-forgive me, your foolish parents can't seem to remember. Your mother is still in her bed and not dressed and your fool of a father has been off riding since the crack of dawn, which is never good, he always does that when something is troubling him.

Aurelia: He's been going off riding for long periods every morning since....you know.

Robert: Yes, I know how he reacts to death but he has other children to attend to as well. Mama says he's worse than when our Father died. Had I known it was this bad here I wouldn't have been in the city so long...

Aurelia: *wiping eyes* Well, if you should know, I asked that for my birthday nobody did anything or mentioned it, so it's not their fault. All I asked for was to be alone.

Robert: Well, I'm not respecting that wish. You don't need to be alone, especially on your birthday. None of them have any sense to realize that.

Aurelia: *sniffles* But I WANT to be alone. No birthday will ever be the same again without her. I hate my birthday.

Robert: Well I love your birthday and would like to celebrate it with you and that's why I've came all the way from Winshire. Since those fools haven't prepared you a cake, you and I will go to the sweet shop and get sorbet.

Aurelia: Why should I enjoy any sweets if she never will again? It's my fault, I-

Robert: No, sugar, quit saying that. If you'd like to blame anyone then let it be me, I can bear it. I can't bear you thinking it's your fault though.

Aurelia: But it is…

Robert: *sitting down* No, no its n-*back cracks* NOT!

Aurelia: *softly giggling*

Robert: I'm glad my pain amuses you. If I could break every bone in my body a million times just for you to be happy, I would.

Aurelia: You don't mean that.

Robert: I mean it with my whole heart.

I love you, and I do hate seeing you sad. I too, know how it feels to lose a sister, you know?

Aurelia: *sniffles* Yes, yes I know.

Granny doesn't speak about her that much, neither does Papa.

Robert: They do that because it's easier for them. It's been nearly forty years, and I assure you not a day goes by where they don't think of her. I think of her everyday, and was only eight when she passed.

Aurelia: *softly* What was she like?

Robert: *smiling* Georgiana was a lot like you, believe it or not. She was kind, compassionate, and a little shy. But she didn't really prefer naturally feminine hobbies such as embroidery, cross stitching, or anything to deal with music and that upset our Mama a lot. My Father adored her, because she shared his interests. Before bed, she would often scare your Papa and I with silly ghost stories and don't tell him I told you this, but he once got so scared he wet himself in his nightgown.

Aurelia: *hysterically laughing* Really?

Robert: Yes sugarplum, really. He was around your age when this happened.

Aurelia: *sitting on lap* Uncle Bertie?

Robert: Yes sugarplum?

Aurelia: Does it get any better?

Robert: What do you mean?

Aurelia: Will I ever stop feeling so…sad?

Robert: The pain won't go away, but in time, you'll learn how to manage it better. You won't feel so sad everyday when you're older, it'll just be some days.

Aurelia: But will I ever feel happy again?

Robert: Of course you will sugarplum! You will have many happy memories in your lifetime, trust me. The happy ones outweigh the bad ones, I know it's hard right now, but I promise you eventually it'll get better, *kisses cheek* alright?

Aurelia: Alright. Can we still maybe get sorbet..?

Robert: We will go right now. *picking up* I'll even buy you a whole cake for yourself, how does that sound?

Aurelia: *gasp* Really? But what will Papa say?

Robert: He won't know. Perhaps we will buy him one too, he might need it.

Aurelia: I think Papa needs more than a cake!

Robert: At this rate...I think he does too. We will worry about him tomorrow though, today is your birthday, not his.

Bridget: Aurelia…?

Bridget: *grabbing face* Aurelia.?

Aurelia: *pushing away* Why are you in here..?

Bridget: I couldn't sleep well, my room is too hot. Yours is always cooler...

Aurelia: *sniffling* You always say this when you want to sleep with me.

Bridget: Well, perhaps I do, but I can't because you're upset! What's wrong?

Aurelia: Why does everyone have to die?

Bridget: Is this about Harriet?

Aurelia: Uncle Bertie.

Bridget: Oh, I miss him too Aurelia. What made you think of him today?

Aurelia: I remembered how he took me for sorbet on my birthday ten years ago.

Bridget: Aurelia, it's alright. *caressing cheek* You know he wouldn't want you to be like this, you can't say he would.

Aurelia: No, *wiping eyes* no he wouldn't.

Bridget: It'll be alright Aurelia. Tonight will be the best birthday of your life and I'll make sure of it!

Aurelia: *sniffles* Oh please don't say this will be the best one. I'm already sad today, I would like to at least hope for one birthday in the future where I wake up happy and not cry.

Bridget: Fine. It will be ONE of the best birthdays of your life. *grinning* Is that better?

Aurelia: A little.

Bridget: You shall dance with your future husband, and all is well!

Aurelia: *smirking* I do hope you’re right.

Bridget: When am I not?

Aurelia: Well..

Bridget: *giggling* No do not answer that.

Now, let us both go back to sleep!

Aurelia: I suppose you mean not to sleep in your own bed?

Bridget: Yes! *climbing in bed* It's too much trouble to walk back.

#sims 4 regency era #regency ts4 #regency sims 4 #ts4 regency #sims 4 regency #sims 4 historical story #sims 4 historical #historical sims 4 #historical sims #tcotd #can’t tell if i like transparent bg or not

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dariaslookalike · 7 months

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Needing Miller pt 4.

Summary: It's a shit hole of a world that you're living in, and it gets even shittier when you're ambushed in your sleep. It's a slippery slope that leads you from being tucked cozily in your sleeping bag to joining the raiding group lead by the most infuriating (and intimidating) man you've ever met. You need to survive, above all else- either in this group (without smacking its leader over the head), or in the world alone after somehow escaping. Easier said than done, when your mind loses all sense of focus, tactics and skills the second that Joel Miller rolls up his sleeves and shows his godforsaken forearms.

Warnings: Violence, swearing, adult language, mature themes, eventual smut, female protagonist, no reference of y/n

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N:

Next Chapter: pt 5.

Masterlist

-----------------------

Front sight. Barrel. Release. Back sight. Grip. Hammer. Slide stop. Magazine.

Joel loses any sense of teasing or testing as he walks you through the gun’s components- a 9mm pistol, semi-automatic. His tone is even, and his words are systematic and factual. There are no anecdotes or mnemonics or anything remotely unscientific, spare the occasional Never hold it like this if you don’t want to shoot your foot and your ears will ring like hell.

You try to keep your gaze focused on the gun, matching each name to each part, and then each explanation to each name. But, against your wishes, your body betrays you, and you risk glances at him. Only to see what he’s thinking you tell yourself. You briefly study the crease in his forehead, the steady focus of his eyes, his tanned skin, the hair that is starting to grow too long at his temples. Focused. Assured.

“How do you know all this?” The question slips out quietly before you can even stop it.

For the first time, he looks up to you.

He’s so close with the both of you hunched over the gun, and you can see the dark ring of his iris enclosing warm, earthy tones.

Coffee, you think. Not the shit that FEDRA tried to ration, that was bitter and off-putting. But the warm, rich one that your mother used to drink in the mornings- intoxicating, and sweet and home. You wonder what he sees when he looks into your eyes.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk.” His voice is low, and rough, rising out of his chest.

“Fine.” You scoff, shaking your head. You turn your attention back to the gun, watching his finger tap against the barrel.

Tap.

“Texas.”

Tap.

You keep your eyes trained downwards, afraid that if you look at him while he speaks, you’ll scare him away.

“My father. He owned some property, needed security when I was growing up. Said it would be good f’me too. Make me a man.” He scoffs. “He was dead hours into the outbreak.”

The words sound bitter when he says it, and you tentatively raise your gaze. His jaw is set and his brow isn’t furrowed from concentration but old, worn anger. All that and for what? Is what you read in the curl of his lip and flare of his nose. All that apparent authoritarian and masculine parenting only for Joel to be the one standing here.

“My dad was a drunk.” You offer, carefully trying to extend words of understanding. I get it. Joel doesn’t jump at your words, but the tension in his face fades a little, and he looks into your eyes. You clear your throat and continue.

“He wasn’t that useful, though. Never taught us anything like this. I mean, I know how to patch up holes in the wall ‘cause of him. But nothing that would help out here.”

Joel’s lips raise slightly, even if you see a darkening in his gaze when you mention your dad’s wall-punching habits. “Yeah, well I’m sure that’ll be handy one day or ‘nother. I was a carpenter.”

“Oh. Cool.” You nod, trying to seem understanding.

He sees right through you and rolls his eyes. “You don’t know what that is, do you?”

“You worked with carpets?”

He laughs briefly and you want to hear it more, hear it when he’s not holding back. “Mm, with building houses.”

You huff out a snort. “So we both have the perfect skills for an apocalypse then.”

“You can fight dirty. Thank FEDRA for that at least.” He shrugs, the movement casual, but his tone holds back curiosity.

You indulge him. It didn’t seem often that Joel Miller was one for conversation, and if he was up for it today and never again, you would curse yourself for telling him to piss off preemptively.

“It wasn’t FEDRA. I mean they taught us the basics- how to spar, how to use someone’s stance to your advantage. But my knife was,” You hesitate, trying to find the right words. A dead man’s belongings? “A gift from my brother. He taught me how to fight, and not in a clean way.”

Joel huffs, and his hand flexes against the gun. There’s a scabbed wound on the back of his hand, still red and healing. You had almost forgotten you had tried to stab him.

“That’s one way to put it.”

“Look at you!” You glare at him, gesturing with your hands to him- his broad shoulders, his height, his fucking biceps. “You were a big man in front of me after someone had already attacked me. I wasn’t gonna wait ‘til the count of three and start boxing.”

His eyes find yours again, and there’s a heaviness to them, and his voice is quiet, hushed; surrounded by the grass, the soft breeze, and the blue sky seem to soften him.

“I know. You did the right thing.”

You stare at him, trying to remind yourself to breathe, to not blush, to not think about how his thighs felt around you or his hands on yours. Think of anything else. Think of the scar on your cheek, the heat and pain that was still present around the stitches, and the uncomfortable sense of itching that had begun as it started to heal. Your eyes dip down to his neck. The scratches on his skin are still there, even if they’re less angry and jagged. You want to lick them. Mark up his neck again and kiss it better.

“You’re weak though. You should work out more.”

You clench your jaw, thoughts of him with any sense of longing being replaced by annoyance. “Right, because there’s so many gyms here. I’ll get on a treadmill next to a stalker.”

Joel’s lips stay in that infuriating, wolfish grin. “I train in the mornings. Don’t need equipment.”

Was that an…invitation?

“Right. I’ll make sure to train at night then.”

He rolls his eyes and huffs out a breath, but his lips still tug up at your joke. You smile at him before you can stop yourself, pride welling in you that he might find you funny. You feel your cheek strain, but you ignore the pang of pain. His eyes crease and for a split second, it seems like he’s going to smile back at you.

He doesn’t. His lips fall, and the lines deepen on his face as his brow furrows. He tilts his gaze back down to the gun, and the conversation doesn’t simply die- it shrivels and burns into ashes. Back to business.

You feel your stomach drop slightly, and anything in it curdle in a soup of shame. What was all that? Was that a pleasant conversation with Joel Miller? What the fuck were you thinking? Distance, you hiss to yourself. Distance is what you need, not sharing stories about your parents or crappy jokes to try and make him laugh.

‘M not gonna be your fucking friend.

That was what he said when you met him. That is what you wanted. You shouldn’t have been feeding into any possibility of something different.

You don’t talk again after that. He shows you how to hold the pistol, and you nod along. He makes you practise tucking it into your jeans, into your pack, and taking it out, over and over, quicker and quicker, each time thumbing the safety on and off, on and off. You don’t offer any words or answers, and your lips stay in a closed line. You don’t do any real shooting. It’s a waste of ammo, and ten shots wouldn’t be enough practice for you to be perfect anyway.

The sun is lowering by the time you finish. Not quite dark, but the grey dusk of late afternoon that is a harbinger of a storm. You shoulder your pack once more and set out, stepping away from the field.

Joel doesn’t walk ahead of you this time. He walks beside you, matching your pace. When you stubbornly slow down or quicken, he continues to mirror you in his long strides. He doesn’t talk to you though. He simply stays beside you, watching ahead.

You ignore him. If he wanted silence, then he could have it.

So what if you liked talking to him, so what if you liked that calm, quiet part of him more than the snapping, angry raider that everyone else knew, so what? You knew that nothing could come from this; knew that he was hotheaded and had to be partially insane to survive out here. You knew that being friends with Joel, or anything else for that matter, was not a possibility. Survival was all you had to be focused on.

You are still adamantly ignoring him when he grabs your elbow. You turn to him, already scoffing and preparing to break your vow of silence to tell him to fuck off when he tugs you closer. In just a few rushed steps, you’re in an alleyway, with your back pushed harshly to the brick wall. You open your mouth, once more ready to use expletives to ask him if he wants his balls kicked again when he firmly grips your lower face.

Your cheeks are smushed beneath his hand and you hiss in pain, feeling your torn, stitched cheek throb and bleed beneath its bandage. When you bare your teeth to bite him, he grips you tighter. You had lapsed in your comfortability around him; forgotten the real strength that he had, where he could crush you before you could even resist.

Your hand reaches up to his, and you dig your nails into the scabbed wound on the back of his hand. You dig in deeper and feel the wet of blood greet you. He still doesn’t let go of you.

“Stop.” He hisses through his teeth, leaning in closer to you with wide eyes. He jerks his head to the side, back to the street you were walking on.

You’re trying to tell him to eat a dick with your eyes, but your gaze snags on what he gestures to. There. At the entrance of the alleyway. Just shambling into view, dragging its feet. The sound of popcorn popping at the back of its throat.

Fuck.

You didn’t mean to inhale so sharply, but it turns its head so rapidly, looking straight at you. It has no face, no eyes, nothing to reconcile its lost humanity with. Fungi bloom from its skull, and its skin is torn, bloodied and thin. Clothes, or the worn remnants of them, hang off its body. It takes a step closer, letting out a shriek of a dying cat.

Run. RUN. RUN!

Joel presses himself to you, his pelvis against your lower stomach, and you realise you’re shaking. His body crushes into yours, and you feel yourself squished between him and the wall. He keeps you still and upright. His other hand pins at your waist, holding you steady to the wall. You let him support your weight, afraid that if you try to balance yourself you’ll accidentally scuff your shoes to the ground. You grip his bloodied hand tighter, squeezing onto it; not trying to make him let go of you anymore, but begging him not to.

You think of the gun, tucked into your waistband. Still with no magazine. Fuck. There was no way you had the skills nor expertise to quietly and efficiently lock it back in place. And Joel’s gun was tucked into the back waistband of his jeans, snug to his spine.

The clicker steps closer, and it tilts its head, trying to pin the sound it had heard. It screeches again.

You think of your brother. Dragging you through the QZ's perimeter when flames had consumed buildings in the riot. Not letting you trip or stumble, but always keeping a firm grip on your arm and tugging you on. On towards the rest of the city, towards the train lines that would take you somewhere better, somewhere safer, somewhere where your mother wasn’t lying dead in her shit hole apartment and where your other siblings weren’t strung up by revolutionaries and where you still had a home to return to. Head East. Head East and start again and when everything was alright, when everything was normal, grieve and mourn and cry. But for now, just head East.

He didn’t make it to the train lines.

Didn’t make it past the goddamn library you had stepped in, just to rest, just to let your feet stop for a second, just to sit down and eat something. That same crackling popping was what you heard before he was suddenly on his back, his chest being ripped into, his flesh being shredded, his neck being torn like pieces of mache. His knife is quickly thrown to you. His screams, his guttural voice yelling at you to Run. Run! RUN!

You’re going to die.

Your other hand slips down, to Joel’s lower back. If you can grab the gun, get it out from beneath his jacket and jeans without making a sound, maybe you stand a chance. Your fingers press against the gun beneath the layers of fabric, feeling it there.

Joel tenses, and turns to face you. He shakes his head softly, and his eyes have a clear message. No.

You shake your head with a minuscule amount of movement, still clutched tightly in his hand. You have to. At least try.

Your fingers begin to fumble at his back, searching silently for the edge of his jacket. They’re shaking. The fabric rustles slightly and you feel your blood run cold.

Fuck. You’re going to die, with two guns in arms reach. You’re going to die with your brother’s knife tucked into your pack. You’re going to die. Fuck.

A bird caws somewhere, and the clicker turns. You stare at it from the corner of your eye, and you can’t tell if you’re still breathing.

The sound of flapping wings and high-pitched hissing. A fight between crows.

The clicker drags its feet, and screeches, loud and piercing; so loud you would think it’s right beside your ear, tunneling into your skull and engraving into your brain. You stop looking at it, shaking even more. You’re going to die. You’re going to die, staring at Joel. His eyes are trained on the clicker. That same furrow in his brow. You feel something bloom inside of you when he shifts his weight, and you’re suddenly hidden from view, tucked behind him and against the wall; protected.

The shuffle of dragging feet rips your gaze back to the side. You can barely make out anything over Joel’s shoulder and he shifts impossibly closer to you, exposing his back to the infected and tucking you into him. The jacket’s zipper digs into your skin through your clothes and you think if you could control the panicked tilt of your breath, you might be able to hear his heart beating in his chest.

The clicker moves, and if you could move, you would bury your face into Joel. Instead, you watch, a notch caught in your throat and tears stinging your eyes. It was going to turn and hear you breathing and it was going to shred you to pieces. Tear into your chest. Eat your heart. Your blood runs cold and fear pins you in place. You’re going to die.

But…it shambles back out of the alleyway. Into the street. The clicker continues before the brick wall obscures your sight and you no longer see it.

You can’t believe it. You’re not sure if you should.

Joel drops his hand from your face, and your cheeks throb with the sudden loss of pressure. You feel blood dribble onto the gauze tapped to your face and begin dripping down to your chin. Your hand follows his, still gripping it. He’s still pressed against you.

He turns his gaze back to you, swallowing and chest moving heavily.

“Fuck.” He whispers, and if anything he leans his head in closer to you.

You don’t, can’t, form any words, instead letting out a wrecked, relieved sigh that bubbles out with a quiet laugh.

He leans closer, and you look up at him, trying to hold back the tears welling in your eyes. His dark eyes bore into yours, his breath fans across your face. It fades- the fear, the alleyway, the clicker that is a block away already. It’s only his ragged breathing, the loud pulse of your blood in your ears, the feeling of his hips pressed so tightly against you, the bricks digging into your shoulders, his hand still at your waist gripping you like he doesn’t know how to let go.

“Fuck.” He says again, this time barely audible. A ghost of a word.

His head dips closer, angling to the side and you don’t know what to do when his lips press against yours. You don’t know your name, don’t know your body, all you know is that his lips are warm his beard scratches against your chin and the hand at your waist squeezes even tighter.

Your hand at his back grips his jacket as if you need even more support to stay on your feet. His tongue swipes out, licking against your lower lip. The fear that was chilling you to your core is replaced by something fiery and hot that warms you instantly. Adrenaline courses through your bones and your mind feels fuzzy and warm, and there’s not one cohesive thought other than Oh my god he’s kissing me. After what feels like an eternity of stillness, your brain kicks into gear and you kiss him back, pushing yourself against him even more; feeling his broad chest against yours, his shoulders hunching over as he deepens the kiss, his leg stepping in between yours. His other hand reaches around you, tugging you closer to him and pressing firmly to you. It’s a tangle of heated breaths and a whiny sound from the back of your throat and a deep rumbling from him and all you can feel, all you can taste, all you can think is Joel, Joel, Joel.

He bites against your lip, drawing it between his teeth and everything feels natural; this was the same as anything else the two of you had done. He was pushing and teasing with each swipe of his tongue and movement of his lips, and you were biting back and giving him all you had.

When you break apart, you’re not sure you know exactly what just happened. You knew about kisses, sure. Knew that two people were supposed to put their lips together and feel butterflies. Whatever this was, was not that. This was crushing exhausting and exhilarating. This was not a fairytale kiss from a prince but something that was raw celebrating and terrifying.

Your eyes dip down to his lips, and you like the plump, blushed look they’ve gained. Your blood is smeared slightly across his cheek, through his bead; he doesn’t reach up to wipe it away. Your face is aflame and you look up at him. He’s looking down at you, breathing somehow more ragged than before, and his gaze is heavy, consuming and pinning you in place. Again, you wonder what he sees when he looks into your eyes.

You see the shift even before he pulls back from you.

‘M not gonna be your fucking friend.

“Don’t.” You say, and you hate how pleading it sounds, how pathetic.

He swallows, and unwraps his hands from you, untangles himself from you and steps back. Your hands fall from him, hanging limply by your side.

You shake your head, and the tears are back once more, threatening to spill over. You don’t allow them to. You are not going to cry in front of Joel Miller. Not because of something as stupid, as immature as a kiss that he immediately regretted. You are not going to do that. You swallow past the notch in your throat, you replace the quiver of your lip with a straight line, and you tense your eyes into a hard glare.

He watches you, only a metre away but feeling a million miles from you. He bites his lip, and his face is hardened, and worn.

“We-,” He clears his throat with a deep cough. “I shouldn’t have-”

You huff out a laugh. “Fuck off.”

His jaw ticks. “Watch it.”

“Fuck. Off.” You shake your head, pushing off from the brick wall, straightening yourself, trying to be every bit as big and intimidating as you can be. “You don’t get to play me like that, Joel.”

He opens his mouth to rebut, but you step closer, cutting him off. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to be a dick,” Another step closer, “An arsehole,” Another, “A fucking prick and then do that!”

You shove against his chest and he doesn’t step back; a reminder that he was stronger, that you were not, and that he was the one consistently who called the shots. The one who decided if you kept kissing, if you talked more, if you lived. He looks down at you with…sadness? Regret? It vanishes quickly, whatever it is, and is replaced with a hard, blank face.

You shove against him again, angry and with as much force as you can muster to bruise him, and this time his hands whip up, grabbing yours and pinning them to his chest. He leans closer, growling.

“Stop.”

You glare up at him, seething, digging your fingernails into his chest. “I hate you.”

“No, ya don’t.”

He smiles, but there is no kindness; all just self-assured cockiness. You gouge your fingers in, practically begging him for a reaction; a wince, a hiss, a cry, anything to show that you had any sort of effect on him.

Your nostrils flare, and you spit. “You are the most temperamental and psychotic person I’ve met. One minute you’re threatening me and shooting people, and the next you’re,” You glare at him, throwing his own words in his face. “Trying to get in my pants.“

“You think you’re some peach?” He snarls, canines showing. “All you fucking do is run your mouth. Where’s that gonna getcha? Do you want me to hate you?”

You laugh, you laugh right in his fucking face. “You’re trying to say you don’t? Everything you do is about keeping people under your boot. Making sure I don’t fuck up. Making sure Tommy doesn’t run off because he hates your fucking-”

Suddenly you’re back against the wall, and it happens so fast you get whiplash. He leans closer, snarling.

“Don’t fucking talk about Tommy.”

“You know. You know that he’s not happy here.”

Joel’s jaw ticks, locked heavily in place. He shakes his head, rearing in closer to you. “Newsflash- I don’t give a shit if he’s happy. If I’m keeping him alive, that’s all that matters. Stay out of it.”

“I hate you.” The words come out quieter than you thought but still laced with venom.

“I’m not a big fucking fan of you either, Dollface.” He spits the name like it burns his tongue.

“Sure seemed like it a minute ago. Miller.”

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He blinks, and his brow hunches, but he still doesn’t know what to say, seemingly lost for words. Everything that swarms between the two of you, your shared breaths, your heat, your anger and ire is tense and rigid. And then his gaze flicks down, to your snarling lips. And everything on his face melts for a second, and he’s leaning closer, and tilting his head to the side and then his mouth is on yours and his hatred is in every swipe of his tongue and his annoyance is in every bite to your lip and his ire is in every movement of his mouth and you can’t breathe and you’re kissing him back like it’s the last thing you’ll do and again it’s JoelJoelJoelJoel-

You pull your head back.

“Go fuck yourself.” Your voice sounds more wrecked than you let it be

You wrench your hands out from under his, hating how he was able to cover them completely, hating that he could have stopped you if he wanted to, hating that he didn’t. You shove him back and barge past him. You boil with anger and you think that right now if the clicker showed its face, you would be the one sinking your teeth into its skin and tearing its flesh apart.

You don’t bother looking back to see if he follows you. You just turn onto the street and walk back in the direction of the church.

#joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #the last of us fanfic #the last of us #tlou #the last of us fic

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colleybri · 27 days

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Andor and Rogue One: Sacrificing love and sacrificing for love

I often contemplate Luthen’s monologue from Andor episode 10: the full meanings and implications of what he has sacrificed. The clues to what his backstory might be and how his future might unfold. Perhaps the most intriguing item on his list of what he has given up is ‘love’. The difficulty of analysing this one is that the word has so many different meanings, and once again I’m rueful that in English we didn’t keep the Ancient Greek tradition of having different words for the many different types of love that we can experience. There are separate words for romantic/sexual love, the love between parents and children, between siblings and between good friends. There’s love in the sense of a strong liking (as in “I love chocolate”) and the love that develops over time in a relationship that needs a lot of work (as in an arranged marriage).

Luthen might mean one or all of these, but he might well also mean a very specific type of love: the one often called ‘universal and unconditional love’. The Greek word is Agape, (pronounced Ah-ga-pay). It’s the selfless love felt for humanity as a whole, and is that behind the willingness to do anything for someone without expecting something in return. It’s the biggest question Luthen will have to face. Is he ready and willing to die for the cause - and if so, will this kind of love be the motive? The problem is that in doing what he feels he needs to do for the greater good he thinks he is ‘damned’ as his actions are anything but loving, at least on the surface. He threatens babies, sacrifices innocents and plans to kill a man at his mother’s funeral. Perhaps he is a long way from ‘agape’.

Cassian is a little easier to track as we have at least the start and end of his story - Season 2 will fill in the remaining gap. The excellent Rogue One novelisation makes explicit that within the film Cassian has an epiphany and it’s made really clear in the extract below, which is from just after where he and the others volunteer to go with Jyn to Scarif (knowing full well the huge personal risk involved).

The novel earlier emphasised the ‘need’ in Jyn’s eyes, which is ultimately linked to her love (denied at first) for her father and her faith in his message about the Death Star. Cassian couldn’t go ahead with killing Galen and it’s interesting that here he now shares that ‘need’ to act: ‘He tried to imagine executing another coldly elegant mission for Draven and finding nourishment in the stale, momentary thrills of danger and triumph… He couldn’t survive that way anymore. …Jyn was changing. And through her, he would do what was required of him. They all would”. Interesting choice of words: ‘Coldly’.. ‘stale’. This will be the Cassian of the end of Andor season 2… Needing to find his fire again. It’s no doubt why we will want to watch the film again immediately afterwards, as Diego Luna has been urging us to do. I think we’ll need the ‘redemption’ part of the story.

With apologies to some of my Cassian x Jyn loving friends ;), this for me is the main canon ‘love story’ in Rogue One. Putting faith in Jyn’s own faith in her father’s message is for Cassian a kind of re-dedication to the cause - a renewal, perhaps, of something like the ‘vow’ that Luthen speaks of. But the motive this time seems to be something positive. In his monologue Cassian speaks of all the awful things he’s done on behalf of the Rebellion. Walking away now, as the Alliance wants to do, would be unthinkable. Making the ultimate sacrifice eventually becomes the only ‘choice’ left but I think it’s so important that Cassian makes it with a clear head and for the right reasons. It’s why I think that any heavy personal losses that Cassian might experience in S2 won’t come in the final arc, which takes place in the days just before the film - I don’t think Tony Gilroy would want us to think that Cassian is acting from any sense of ‘Oh well, my life is so shitty I might as well do this as I haven’t anything else to live for!’ That wouldn’t even be a sacrifice, which means giving up something you value. Instead, Gilroy explicitly says of Cassian that he is “someone who will consciously, open-heartedly sacrifice himself for the greater good”. In other words, he has a clear mind and is doing this for the ‘right’ reason. And the reason is love, I think - and in the ‘agape’ sense. In other words it’s not for love of Jyn or even love of himself (although I think he is genuinely and justly respectful and proud of himself when he dies) but for love of all those theoretical billions of strangers who might possibly be saved because of their sending the Death Star plans.

Cassian, Jyn and the rest of the Rogue One team make the final sacrifice for love. Unconditional love of strangers. The most selfless act of all. It makes me cry every time I rewatch, but the beach scene is a perfect visual representation. Cassian and Jyn are united in a platonic hug, comforting and literally supporting each other. No doubt thinking about all the loves and losses they have experienced in their mirror-imaged traumatic lives, war-torn from such an early age. They don’t want to die but are accepting of their approaching doom and the knowledge that in doing this they have helped each other to rediscover purpose and hope. They have “tried” as Nemik would put it. And finally, being swallowed up in bright transcendental light - recalling the sunrise Luthen knew he’d ‘never see’. Imagery of death but also of hope for ‘someone else’s future’, their sacrifice being the most selfless love of all.

So you can absolutely see the ending of Rogue One and the ending of Cassian’s story as hopeful, transcendental and inspirational as in that sense he is indeed ‘messianic’ as Tony Gilroy has described him. Not because he is a religious chosen one or a mystical figure - he’s an ordinary average man, who started out as a ‘loser.. .a nobody…’ who has done something extraordinary, for love. It’s a fully secular spiritual journey but no less powerful for that. His bible, as it were, has been Nemik’s manifesto.

As for Luthen himself… his fate is unclear. I’m not sure what might be coming for him, but I hope it does the character justice. Perhaps he will get some kind of glimpse of sunrise or perhaps his ending will - in contrast to Cassian’s - be in a totally sunless space.

“Tell him he knows everything he needs to know and feels everything he needs to feel, and when the day comes and those two pull together he will be an unstoppable force for good.”

#Andor #rogue one #analysis #cassian andor #luthen rael #jyn erso #tony gilroy #alexander freed #star wars andor #sacrifice #messianic #redemption arc #rogue one a star wars story

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malaierba · 2 months

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Man I love sibling dynamics so much though.

Fully just projecting what I like to read, but it would be incredible if, inspired by the Touden, Toshiro arrived at his house with a newfound determination to improve his relationship with his siblings.

Which has, of course, mixed results.

(ended up blabbing about what I think their relationship is like and what it would be like if Toshiro came back with the crazy idea in his head of, hey, let's be actual brothers)

Basically I think Toshiyuki doesn't get it and fights it every step of the way. Can see him having some weird unsolved frustrations towards Toshiro? There's the one (1) silly comic we have on him, "how come my big brother gets a team of all sexy women he doesn't even enjoy it" (paraphrasing hard), which to me reads like... Okay so he can read Toshiro kind of well? But he doesn't understand him in the slightest.

Which is INCREDIBLE.

I think Toshiyuki is in a very particular position in his family. There's a 13 year age gap if I'm not wrong, kind of big, isn't it? I've seen it theorised that maybe the Nakamoto parents kept having babies die after birth, an idea supported by the fact that Toshiro was canonically a sickly child.

When I learned about his brothers and their ages though, and how dismissive Toshiro's dad is of them, how he calls all of them dull... How at age 26 Toshiro is still unmarried and isn't being pressured to marry (To be fair this could be a rare sympathetic decision from Toshitsugu. Maybe he wanted to marry Maizuru but couldn't, so instead he's giving his children the liberty of marrying who they want whenever they want).

To be honest? What I thought was: ah, so Toshitsugu married his actual wife over Maizuru likely because it was a marriage of convenience. Originally he only wanted a kid out of the union so he'd take over the household eventually, but then Toshiro turned out all sickly and soft and introverted, so eventually he was like, FINE, we need a backup inheritor.

Which, man, sucks for Toshiro AND Toshiyuki. I mean, Toshiro is 26!!!! You'd think it wouldn't be a contest! But they're literally making him prove himself against his siblings who are 13 and 11??? That sends a very clear message to me, and it's not one of trust.

Anyway. I think that'd make Toshiyuki a bit... Weird about his brother. Aware that he's messing up somehow, but also he's so strong and adult, literally has 13 years of experience on him. Like he's living on his shadow, but also is expected to step out of it.

Middle sibling complex? No way, something worse. Back up eldest sibling. Made especially evident by the fact that when Ryoko Kui introduces the relationship of the Nakamoto siblings she says there's "a weird distance between Toshiro and them".

I can see Toshiyuki having more experience being an older brother to Toshizane than Toshiro. Better? Not sure...? But, he probably was there for him more. Probably even trained with him

Which is FUNNY because I get THE SOFTEST OF VIBES FROM TOSHIZANE. I don't wanna say "Toshiro 2.0" but??

Look at his little face. Compare it to Toshiyuki, then to baby Toshiro.

Filial resentment my beloved. This would be one of the first actions that Toshiro takes without being ordered or promoted by someone else, which would both be meaningful and BIZARRE to Toshiyuki.

Oh, I hope they have an argument lol. Or at least that Toshiyuki gets to yell about how things are from his perspective.

Anyways, with that in mind, I think Toshiro would have an easier time bonding with Toshizane. Again, wistful thinking, but if he really has that same softness that Toshiro had... And if he's around someone like Toshiyuki, who probably can't relate and is probably being too Toshizane like how Hien was to Toshiro:

You know, "toughen up", well meaning advice, they ARE in the family's shady, shady business. But, it likely did cause a wedge between Toshiro and Hien eventually, him not knowing how to deal with her bluntness so instead he distances himself.

That, plus the fact that one of the main things that attracted him to Falin was realising that she was an adult that had managed to hold onto her childhood softness and oddity...

Yeah, I think that if he noticed history potentially repeating itself in Toshizane he'd think about intervening. And since this imagine is about Toshiro going back home, committing to being more proactive, then in this story he does reach out, tries to be the adult he would've liked to have in his life for his baby brother

Which of course! May annoy Toshiyuki! Why is Toshizane picking sides like that!? (He's not) Are you trying to steal him, Toshiro!!?!? (He's not!)

Anyway, fun fun fun.

#THIS GOT LONG is this anything #dungeon meshi #dunmesh rambles #nakamoto siblings #toshiro nakamoto #Toshiyuki Nakamoto #Toshizane Nakamoto

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dykeomania · 2 years

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𝒎𝒊𝒂'𝒔 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒓𝒃𝒔: parenthood (3).

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: parenthood means stress, and endurance, and exhaustion, and learning curves, and ... sometimes, really, really, really good sex?

𝐚/𝐧: this is my Parenthood (Thought) Piece because i understand that i am mentally 30 but i llloooooooooooveeee a good domesticity concept i eat that shit up nnomnomnonmonmnom. i needed to talk about early parenthood with ellie and i needed to talk about some of the ... Alternate Consequences ... of early parenting .. if you will. this was fun. this was also composed between the hours of like, 2-4am. i think it's pretty literate, and kind of alright. you may have a fun time reading it. if you don't, sorry i'll venmo you a dollar. not ssssure if i really have anything else to say, honestly. proofread (at a very early hour, mind you) but i always make mistakes, i'll always edit over time.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: i understand these tags are like super weird and i always preface my fics like "fuck around and find out," but just to be clear, this fic does not sexualize children in any way. any way. just to really make that clear. mentions of you and ellie being engaged. joel's technically alive. mentions of children. parental uncertainty. stress. a little bit of sub bottom!ellie. we're dipping our toes in. also dom top!ellie. mentions of oral (both receiving), mentions of vaginal penetration (reader receiving). both ellie and the reader being milfs / ellie thinking its really hot how you are a good mom (there are still so many things in this category that i could've hit that im probably not even thinking of, so if y'all like this and wanna talk about them, Please talk to me) i write in past tense for literally all of it and this is just a me thing, but that's not really my style, so things may be .. off. or maybe it's just me. maybe i'm tripping. we'll see. it's like, 4am. so.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.1k, just about (i did too much).

. . . .

you both lived on the farm. it was a quiet, proud little life that you lead. a picturesque actualization of all of the little thoughts and dreams that you and ellie have had about living together, about having a family. though, parenthood was new, and difficult. there were some nights that the baby wouldn't stop crying, and both of you would take turns feeling like shit -- one usually at a grander magnitude than the other -- because neither of you would know what to do. what, am i like, a bad mom? does he hate me? you spent time convincing each other that that is simply not the case, and that this was all part of the process. that you were both new, and learning, and that it's okay.

if you knew nothing else, whether that be due to not having experienced parenthood before or the delirium accompanying the heavy set bags and dark circled ruminating under both of your eyes, then you did know that there were a few things for certain: he will suck his thumb. his cries will turn to wails which will turn to sniffles, which will turn to sighs. he will get tired. he will roll over, and coo, and will go to sleep.... eventually.

granted, while this mentality in general made things easier throughout the early days of raising your newborn son, there was still no doubt that it was.. exhausting. in every way. parenting was a constant learning curve, and it took tolls on both of you in different ways. for ellie, she'd get quiet. snippy, even, and gain a little bit too much audacity at times. a snarky remark or demonstration of blatant impatience towards something minuscule, but still hurtful. her frustration would always point toward some deeper issue that she often struggled met with annoyance first, and words second. one of the first things that ellie learned while parenting was that she was really bad at communicating. she'd find herself throughout the first three, maybe even six months, constantly finding ways to say sorry.. even without saying really having said it. like, slipping into bed when after you'd finally went to sleep, and pressing kisses to your temple. or making sure the dishrack was completely empty, so you'd have one less thing to work about. albeit she struggled to verbally explain that while she understood you were too, she was just.. a little tired.

maybe it was the sleep deprivation, or her willingness to take up most of the tasks that required attention in areas other than just the inside of the home. which.. you did have to admit, were a little bit more intense than cleaning and washing dishes. no one asked her to do all of that. she took it upon herself to do extraneous tasks, like fix the fucking roof, during the peak of summer. and you'd always offer to help, truly. but it was always no, i've got it. you've got other stuff to do. you just go play with him, and i'll be in to take over in a little, okay?

you would, at times, have to sit her down and remind her to take it slow. that the roof isn't really bothering either of you, right now, and it won't until .. october, probably. that it's okay to swap out, if need be. she can do dishes, cook if she wants (burn down the house, if she wants), clean up while you go fix the wiring of the fence, tend to the horses, whatever the fuck she feels the need to do, on top of having to do already.

you would have to remind her, that she just can't do everything all at once. and that's okay. but that's also neither of your faults.

both you and parenthood alike would teach her to .. slow down, take it easy, and to talk.

ellie would have to teach you something similar, believe it or not. your back hurt. your tits wouldn't stop fucking leaking, and ever since you gave birth, you wouldn't stop getting these aching migraines that made your ears ring. you quite literally found yourself bending over backwards, trying to do everything all at once all of the time (sound familiar?), because you knew that it was as much of your job as it was ellie's. you can change the diapers, you can pump the breastmilk, you can clean the house, you can stop him from crying, you can read him books (that he couldn't understand, yet, technically), you could do everything. and theoretically, you could. and you would, until it made you frayed, and unhealthy.

that would be enough to make ellie to step in, put her hand on your shoulder, and advise you in a tone that was about as gentle as it was stern:

hey, let maria take him for a couple of days. you're tense -- i can feel you from across the house.

despite the anxiety and the frustration and the sleep deprivation and the exhaustion, you really would feel grateful to be experiencing this trying time together. there were some patterns characterizing it that were obviously stressful, and anxiety-inducing. but there were some consistencies throughout it that were be sweet, and tender. like, running each other warm baths. sitting – either in the bath, with the other, or on the toilet, or the side of the bath – and talking in low volume, not really out of fear of waking the baby, but just to kind of relish in the pocket of peace that existed between the two of you in that moment. the affection never died between the two of you. you were always snuggling close to each other when it came time for bed. always pressing tender kisses to each other's shoulders, holding each other's hands, circling your thumbs and indexes over each other's engagement rings.

… But!

you know... i'm a whore. so honestly, what really spurred this whole thought, is the fact that .. during parenthood your sex lives would practically be nonexistent. and it's not something that either of you really notice, until one of you explicitly brought it up. raising a child -- especially raising one in an environment that you both worked to keep safe, secured, and comfortable -- is a lot of work.

it wouldn't dawn upon either of you until you both were eating one night at the table - another tradition that you did not forfeit. you managed to dance around the subject due to something entirely tangential, and then it hit you, and you said – out of pure realization, ellie, we haven't had sex in .. like, months.

and just like that, the consequences of at least 98 days of involuntarily celibacy hit you both like a fucking truck.

for you, it came in the form of .. the simple reminder that your soon-to-be-wife is really... really fucking physically flawless. you'd notice this everytime she'd wear short-sleeves, or shirts no sleeves, which was really only.. every once in a while, as jackson got colder, or whenever you both woke up. sometimes you'd find yourself looking at ellie's back profile as she sat upright on the bed, adjacent and turned from you, stretching a big, grand stretch, and you'd feel a specific heat beginning to tickle the insides of your thighs. you found it harder to keep your gazes to yourself as ellie exited the shower, muscles apparent, and glistening. her whole body was littered with scars, and yet she was still so gorgeous. it was hard to believe that even for a second you failed to recall – or be conscious of – the fact that as much of a teddy-bear as she was, you were practically dating a fucking sculpture.

naturally, you would act on your desires first. and frankly, ellie would be so willing to lean into them.

she'd be lying if she said sometimes she didn't wake feeling a bit restless, and like there was only one thing that soothe her. she craved it, sometimes – your hands, on her. all she needed were some quick rubs against her clit and kisses against her skin to motivate her to get out of bed and feed the animals. and she was so, so fortunate to have a fiancée good enough to her to give her just that.

she dared, shame on her, to forget how good you could make her feel. ellie never really let anyone touch her, before she met you. before she met you, she was honestly convinced a lot of the parts "down there" didn't work. she could hardly achieve making herself cum. it’d take so long. ellie hardly masturbated because she’d get impatient in any ordeal that wasn’t some needy, feral 3am occurrence that left her stirring, sweaty, and overwhelmed. it was a lot of buildup for what she saw as, in the end, very little payoff. and as far as other people making her cum went? well, no one had ever gotten that far. frankly, she didn’t think anyone would get that far.

that was until she met you.

it definitely wasn’t easy. there were a lot of tired wrists and upper biceps, and your jaw did get pretty sore. her pussy was gorgeously messy. but her clit liked to hide sometimes underneath the extra skin. when you found it, you learned that it was usually, extremely sensitive. but you told her that that was okay. you could make that work.

you spent a lot of time learning all of the technicalities. what was too much, what wasn’t enough. what to say to her; how fast to rub her.

it paid off, because about a month into dating, you showed her that it — and frankly, anything — was possible. just takes a little bit of time, and patience, kisses and whispers of affirmation how about how good she feels. how good she’s doing. takes some listening, intently, to what she needs. to what her body needs.

can feel you twitching. you want my finger right here?

fuck, yeah. right there. just like that, baby -- please don't fuckin' stop.

and once you got good at it (and you got so fucking good at it), ellie couldn’t get enough. she jokes, regularly, that that’s one of the reasons why she’s going to marry you.

ellie's voice in the mornings would breathless and empty. all bostonian accent, rasp, and nothing else. they were vulnerable. whenever she'd let you between her thighs and you placed those kitten licks across her clit transitioning into these longer, learned drags, her moans would break, like glass. her hips would shuffle. sometimes, you’d have to hold her still.

no no, fucking running. it’s okay. just let me. can you let me? can you let me take care of you, baby?

fuck. yes. yes, yes, fuck. s— sorry just – oh, fuck.

it would mostly just be wake-me-ups. but ellie's back would always be arching by the middle of it. she'd find herself gasping, and sighing, and fucking -- against your tongue, against your finger -- and gripping onto whatever, all while mumbling to gods she didn't believe in.

that feels so, so so fucking – g–good.

so fucking good to me; feels so good, babe, thinki'mgonnacum–

ellie's orgasms hit her the same way every time. hard. ridiculously hard. leaving her breathing heavy, and screwing her eyes shut while she grasped at your hand, or your hair. her thighs would tense -- sometimes scramble -- and then collapse, after a while. she became this perfect amalgamation of tinted cheeks, chapped pink lips, messy brown hair, and sticky skin.

she was such a fucking .. painting. she's so incredible.

the plan, as she wrote it, often was to immediately get out of bed after you made her cum. but oftentimes, she couldn't do anything for the first couple of minutes except lie there, body just a sack of bones and jello. her head would rest instead of pressing into yours, or would nuzzle its way deep into your neck. both occasions a precursor to her finally catching her breath. when she moves her head to kiss you, capturing your lips in something thankful, and sweet, it is almost always grounding for the both of you.

better?

so much better. holy shit, babe.

and that's not to say that ellie would never act on her desires. she was always just a little more calculated.

for ellie, her frustrations would creep up on her in the weirdest ways. it would be.. small things. things that were, actually, probably mutual. watching you wash the dishes, even when you’re not bent in a particularly promiscuous way. watching you cook, even when she wasn't really watching you, 'cause she was keeping the baby busy. but what really did her in was watching how you handled your son. something about seeing you have him on your hip, cooing at him or laughing with him, or playing with him, or smothering his cheek in big kisses that elicited these big, big giggles from him, drove her.. a very, questionable? kind of crazy? it was pure. it was so sweet, and most of the time, it was just that. but you were so, good with him. after so many months, despite all of the struggle, you really did blossom into a beautiful, capable mother, who still held the glow and all of the weight from the pregnancy and just–

ellie would realize how good it all looked on you. she would feel.. really proud.

and it made her feel like you .. deserved something.

you both remember the first night she’d acted on her desires like it was yesterday. it was on the night that you two had hosted a dinner party for all of your mutual close friends and people who you called family. the dinner was a 3-week-long process of grocery picking, tablecloth finding, invitation designing, and recipe collecting. it honestly stressed you out more than it did ellie because, to be honest, she was kind of just there for moral support. it was your idea, after having had maria over for dinner once. and it was a great idea. but it left you drained – defeated from the final week of preparations, which was especially hectic. when you bathed that night, you bathed alone, a little overstimulated from the day. but you’d let ellie run the bath, though. only because she insisted on doing so.

the soak cured some of the ache that settled deep into your joints, muscles, and bones.. but not all of it. after you'd set the tub to drain, brushed your teeth, and wrapped a towel around your body, you entered the room with an expected level of silence. you slathered moisturizer on your face, over your arms, over your stretch marks. when it came time to take off your jewlery, the rings – except the prized one – came off easily. but when it came to your necklace, your hands were simply too slippery. you sucked your teeth. you always did this.

you eventually sighed, filling your lungs to call:

hey, bug. can you come help me take this necklace off, please?

ellie eventually would appear behind you, probably shuffling off of the bed or rounding some corner after changing and becoming into her own definition of comfortable. if she seriously complained, you didn’t hear it. you only felt her, how her hand placed itself on your shoulder just to let you know that she was behind you.

some things never change, move your hair over.

you do as asked, and hang your head. ellie's fingers brush against your skin with a kind of delicacy that makes shivers run down your spine. you lift your eyes, catching ellie's in the mirror before you. yours, heavier than hers.

you watched as she fought a smile, or a smirk. either was a given with her, honestly — in retrospect, it was most likely the latter. you couldn’t really tell, though. she’d dipped her head, eyes fixated on her fingers that fiddled with your necklace clasp.

you did a really nice job on the dinner, tonight.

suddenly, you were the one fighting the smile. you watched her, still.

yeah?

oh, you like.. completely knocked it out of the park. you did great. it was really, really really nice.

you didnt know if ellie was referring to the food, or the setup, or the wine choices – whichever. but something about the appraisal made your head buzz, like you were coming down off a two glasses of champagne (which.. maybe you were). ellie successfully removed your necklace, and yet didn’t back away. instead, she pressed herself closer to your back, and tilted her head so that she could speak just above the top of your ear,

you looked really nice, too.

been waiting for you to settle down, a bit. so i could tell you.

you probably hummed something in response, something that was probably suggestive but also thankful at the same time. it gets lost, though. because ellie bent down, and placed these slow, unassuming, appreciative kisses down your neck, and against the plateau of your shoulder. between those words and the way her hands lingered over your skin, the way she was breathing you in and drinking up the moment, and your scent, made you melt into her way too easily. like butter in a warm pan.

you exhale, like you've been meaning to for .. you don't even know how long.

el..

mhm?

you realize though, that the house is quiet. too quiet. there is a stillness to it that makes the pit of your stomach twist, and anxiety and guilt bubble in the base of it before you could even stop it.

...where's our baby?

you felt ellie grin against your shoulder. she masked it with a peck,

he’s at joel’s.

and then you felt her tongue drag across your skin. a long, open-mouthed kiss across the midpoint of your neck. she presses the padding of her tongue against tender flesh, sucks hard enough for blood to make the skin bloom, and almost -- against your own will -- makes your eyes roll shut.

the simple act -- acts rather, of ellie coordinating behind your back to have the baby taken off your hands (you knew it for a few days – it's always a few days). she thought she was so slick. it was odd, how much relief those three words gave you,

but at the same time, you kind of wanted to be mad at her.

it was hard to, though. but you couldn't think straight, with how her hands were moving over you, over your towel. with her pelvis pressed against your ass, and her lips on your neck.

you tried,

he was fine here. everything was .. fine, ellie.

but she was so..

i never said everything wasn't fine.

i just think... you've had a really long, stressful week.

you hate how your body reacts to ellie's hands smoothing up your towel. your whole body broke out into goosebumps, seemingly trying to fit into the pores of ellie's palm,

and i think i wanna make it better.

ellie's breath was hot on your ear, and you didn’t realize it, but your head was already tilted. your eyes had begun to flutter closed. you felt yourself, almost swaying against her. your mouth hung as her teeth grazed over sensitive flesh. her tongue pressed against familiar spots that had been untouched -- like the rest of you -- for so, so long. it was too activating.

in your best effort of defense, you spun yourself to turn around to face her. ellie’s head was tilted, her eyes were low. her breath spanned over your mouth while your palm laid flat against her chest. you stalled – shivering, shaking, suddenly caught in a rapture of toiling emotion that you hadn't felt that strongly in .. god knows how long.

her head dipped back into your neck. she pressed her cotton-clad hips against your towel-covered ones, and it just wasn’t enough. it was a lot, and yet, not enough.

your hand snaked over the nape of her neck as you breathed against your cheek, whole body feeling heavy and compliant. your knees were jelly. you could feel your clit. pulsing, and pleading. it ached as you feel ellie's hand slip over the backs of your thighs, inching under the cusps of your ass.

you needed something. you needed anything. you like to think that you had no idea what necessity meant before this moment, because you had never felt it so strongly. it knocked the wind out of you, only leading you to ask – to plead, without pleading,

e... ellie?

and she understood.

ellie’s head lifted from the crook of your neck she crashed her lips upon yours. the kiss was heavy, and deep. your knees buckled, and where you swore you may fall, she made sure you didn’t. you were shuddering, a hand suddenly possessive around the back her neck. her hands suddenly possessive and stabilizing with the grips she held on your ass. months worth of unknown tension relinquished itself in the pushes and pulls you demanded from each other's bodies while teeth clattered and bit into chapped flesh, turned glossy. moans and breaths circumvented between the two of you, and suddenly, the whole room felt like it was on fire.

she delivered a verbal command, teeth tugging at your lower lip as she half-way parted from it,

jump.

you’d used whatever remainder of your energy to follow the simple instruction, your legs wrapping around ellie's waist like she was your lifeline. they remained around her as your back fell against the duvet, and as she kissed you so deep, your head ran dizzy and your body was left no choice but to arch into her.

you remember your hand smoothing over her abdomen, and reaching up to grab her chest. you remember sighing into her mouth over the fact that you could. you relished in the moan she released your mouth, and only returned it halfway.

you remember gripping her and massaging her and bucking your bare hips up against her in hopes of making her make that noise again, louder. you remember how she bucked her hips into you in hopes of the same sentiment, her waistband grazing against your bair clit cauisng her to succeed far quicker than you.

the night was filled with mind-blurring, fuck-until-the-sun-rises kind of sex. sex that you had no idea your body had needed until ellie had given it to you. your body reeled with every kiss that she'd placed over your skin – you’d watched as she peeled back your towel, and replaced bits and segments of the fabric with her lips in soft, attentive kisses. it was hard to believe that they would transpire into messy, sloppy things. wet, tantilizing things that would trek down the axis of your body. that would hold your body hostage as her tongue and her lips worked on your clit to bring you closer and closer to your third orgasm of the hour.

your body wasn’t used to it. any of it. it was, however, too used to and hyperaware of having a tiny human in the house that you simply couldn’t wake at this time of night.

you were shuffling, at one point, scrambling to put a hand on your mouth, or to bite your own knuckle. when that didn’t work, you let your head fall over to a pillow while you fucked up against ellie’s tongue and bit the fabric, trying so hard not to moan. but you felt yourself cracking.

you’ll never forget how ellie looked up at you. eyes a deep, pointed shade of green as she shook her head – mouth still attached to your clit – which in and of itself had almost made you cry. when she pulled away, it was the only time you let yourself make a noise. only because the whine that was ripped out of you was entirely unanticipated, just like her action.

her breath rippled over your the nerves as she ran her fingertip up, and down your hole. you whimpered, hips shifting up relfexivley, cunt tightening just from the invitation. nearly gushing from the feeling of her beginning to small rub circles against it, instead.

i’ve missed you so fucking much.

she dipped a finger inside of you with such ease, and no warning. a long, slender digit bottomed out inside your cunt, before she pushed in another, and made your jaw go slack. her eyes hung on yours – glossed over with lust and a bit narrow as a result of the devious smile that’d begun to overtake her expression.

she’d begun pumping her fingers.

he’s not here, baby.

it’s just us.

her fingers were so fucking long, you swore to god, you would never want a life without them in it. couldn’t bear another 3, 4, 5 months without having them in you. jesus fuck.

wanna hear you.

wanna hear you be as loud as you fuckin’ want.

ellie emphasized her words by proceeding to fuck you faster. her tongue latched back onto your clit, rolling over and slurping at the nerves, rolling beads of saliva and your juices into and against the bundle. the sound of your cunt was so encompassing, it was hard to believe that it became the backdrop for the moans that ellie had ripped out of you. that made it into, and mostly out of, the pillow, amidst a sea of praise and bucking hips.

the next morning was luxuriuosly unproductive. ellie had only woke to feed the animals and returned to bed and slept with you until noon. she was always affectionate, come mornings. but especially riding off of the honeymoon buzz of the night prior, she made the morning after memorably tender, often pressing kisses to your forehead, and your shoulder, regardless of how awake both you or she was. she’d whisper sweet nothings into your ear, promises of how much she loved you. how she’s really glad this is how she gets to spend her life, as long as it’s with you. all of the sugary things that eventually caramelize into jokes and giggles and laughter, and that how you’d know it was time to get up.

it’s safe to say that parenthood brought you and ellie both very interesting things. it brought you challenges, and it brought you lows. it brought you highs, and photographs, and moments where you did feel like all of your hard-work was paying off, even when it didn’t seem that way. having a family meant having the opportunity to open your house up to people you who you loved. having a family meant having traditions, and things to fall back on – things that you would develop over time, as you learned more and discovered more of what you wanted. and having a family with ellie meant that you could fall back on each other, no matter how tough things got.

.. it also just meant sometimes having really.. really good sex.

(whenever you remembered that that was something that the two of you could actually do, that is.)

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #the last of us #ellie williams smut #joel miller #the last of us smut #literally no one asked for this i just needed this #it's pretty valid i guess #i always notice its so easy to just write thoughts that come to my mind as opposed to like Hovering over one idea for like 2 months #idk that's wild #i feel like i have texts that are literally just written a lot prettier but like #i like the vibe setup #i just can’t reread it anymore or else i get really like critical and for good reason but bleh #actually no (10am mia speaking)#this is probably like fine im gonna give myself the benefit of the doubt #i Finished it which was Good i'm gonna pat myself on the back #good job mia!!!!!

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sokoviansimp · 1 year

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can you please do one of wanda and nat x child reader and getting them to do homework and eat hahahahah i love ur fics btw it makes me feel so warm

✒ Pairings: Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff x Child!Reader (platonic)

✒ Summary: Wanda and Nat try to get you to do your homework and eat your vegetables.

✒ Tags and Warnings: Homework, stubbornness, fluff, anxiety, making friends

✒ Author's Note: I really appreciate the request! I thought this was such a good idea, hopefully, I did it justice! Sorry, it took so long. To the other requests in my inbox, I am sorry I am so slow but I will be getting to them, they're all so good :)

✒ Word Count: 4744+

✒ Read Time: 24 minutes

Masterlist : The Package AU : Socials

“It sounds like a good opportunity, I don’t think it’s ever really too early to start” Nat urged.

“I guess, but she’s just so young,” Wanda claimed as she moved to join her friend on the couch.

“They’ll all be her age, it’s just for a week,” Nat insisted.

Nat had found a program for young children to learn science and math for a week, it was kind of like a day camp. The parents would drop off the young children daily for 4 hours of hands-on learning. She thought this would be good for you since you have been following very closely in Peter’s footsteps when it comes to his interest in math and science. It would also introduce you to a school setting so that it isn’t so far out of your comfort zone next year when you go to attend preschool.

To be truthful, you and Wanda were all Nat could think about lately. She wanted so badly to be there for you two, to help you achieve success and be given opportunities that she could’ve only dreamed of at your age. This sent her down a rabbit hole searching for events or activities you could take part in. Most of them were geared toward older children, but the science camp stated all ages so she jumped on it.

Wanda was hesitant about the program, she didn’t want to push school onto you too early. You should be able to enjoy the time before it completely takes over your life for 14+ years. Nat had a point though, it’s only a week and you would probably really love it. She wasn’t sure how you would react to being left without her all day though, hopefully, now that you have been coming out of your shell the process would be easier but it was hard to say.

Though, it’s inevitable that this will need to happen eventually. One week of practice would be helpful to smooth out the process once it's mandatory. Wanda really admired the way Nat was so enthusiastic about this program, like the way her voice became more animated and expressive. Wanda could hear the slight rise in her tone as she described the activities that you’d get to experience, and the way she leaned closer in proximity to show off the different amenities on the webpage had Wanda holding her breath and overthinking every little movement of her body. As she got lost in the sparkle in Natasha’s eyes, she couldn't help but scrutinize herself for making everything so awkward, ‘don’t move, don’t breathe. Okay, breathe but slowly. Does she notice? why is this making me feel this way? It’s not like we’ve never been close to each other before.’

“What do you think?” Nat jolted her from her spiraling thoughts, both mentally and slightly physically as Wanda startlingly looked at her. Of course, she hadn’t been paying attention to a thing Nat was saying, but she couldn’t know that.

“Hmm, yea that sounds great,” she admitted, hoping she hadn’t just agreed to send you to a shield boot camp or something that only Natasha would find fun.

“Really?” Nat was beaming at the fact that Wanda liked her idea and genuinely hoped you would have a great time.

“Ye- yea, I mean, it’s just a week and she’s going to have to get used to spending time without us.” Wanda went on to explain.

Natasha's heart skipped a beat. Us. She knew what Wanda meant by it and even though she recognized it wasn’t anything that she should read into, Nat couldn't help but analyze it. Such a simple phrase, but it had the prospect to hold so much meaning. Wanda had included her in her vision of your future, as a unit, as us. In reality, Wanda knew Natasha would always be there for you, but Natasha couldn’t help but feel a wave of warmth and happiness wash over her at the thought of it meaning something more, causing her cheeks to flush and a smile to form on her face.

When Wanda and Nat told you about the camp, you were initially really excited, until you found out that you’d have to go alone. Sure, they would drop you off, but then they would leave, and then, who would protect you if something went wrong? Who would be there to hold you when you got nervous around the crowd of unfamiliar faces?

“Mama?” you broke the silence as you sat snuggled into her side on the couch of the common room, enveloped in mostly darkness except for the soft glow from the television.

“Yes, detka?” she glanced down at you as your head tilted up to meet your eyes with hers.

“Do I have to go to da sciewence schoowl?” you asked softly, just barely above a whisper, not wanting to make trouble but you couldn’t get the fact that you would have to go alone out of your mind.

Wanda immediately shifted her full attention to you in an attempt to create a safe and open space for you to express your worries, “I thought you were excited?”

“Well, I am- I was, but, I don't want to go wiffout you or Natty.” you admitted as you translated your fears from thoughts into words.

"I see, I understand that you're feeling nervous about going without us, and that's completely okay, my love. It's natural to feel a little anxious when we step out of our comfort zone," she said as she gently rubbed your arm in soothing motions. She wanted to help you work through these feelings instead of blocking off new opportunities due to fear. In the end, she wouldn’t force you to go, but she would do everything she could to get you open to the experience.

“You know, even adults get feelings like these when they're about to try something new or go to unfamiliar places. I remember when I first joined the Avengers, I felt a mix of excitement and nerves. But you know what?”

“What?”

“It turned out to be an incredible journey filled with wonderful people and unforgettable adventures. I got to meet my two favorite people in the whole world"

“Me?” your expression shifted from nervous to curious, as you wondered where Wanda was going with this.

“Yes you, and Nat,” she says unable to mask the smile that forms near automatically from the mention of her best friend.

“What if, der is no one der for me?” you wonder

"You will have so many other kids there that are your age that you can make friends with, malysh"

“What if dey don’t wike me?” You were genuinely worried about meeting other kids your age. You’ve only ever been around adults and you weren’t quite sure what to expect. Would they all already know each other? Would there be a certain way you were expected to act around them?

"What’s not to like? You have the kindest heart and the most beautiful spirit of anyone I know.” she was speaking from the heart as she genuinely believed what she told you. Wanda watched you go from this scared little girl who was being held captive in a Hydra base to a kid who gets excited to talk about the solar system and wildlife habitats with Peter. She watched you open up and accept these people, even the men on the team, into your life despite your wariness. She’s sure you are capable of anything you really put your mind to, “Making friends has one simple rule and if you follow it, it's practically foolproof, do you know what that is?”

You just shook your head in response, waiting for her to continue.

“Just be yourself. If you do that you'll attract real friends who appreciate you for who you are," she said as she tapped your chest, pointing to your heart.

“Be myself?” you wondered what it meant as you repeated the words on your own tongue. You don’t recall ever acting like someone else. “Who else would I be?”

Wanda couldn't help but chuckle at your innocence and how cute you were, “Some people try to change for others. They change their personalities, their opinions, and sometimes even their looks just to fit in with other people.”

“Oh. so, wike, pwetending?”

"Exactly! You are capable of so much more than you realize, my little one. Have faith in yourself."

You thought over her words as the show continued to play in front of you on the TV. You were so close to being on board with it, but you couldn’t get over the possibility of being stuck there without a way out. The way Wanda spoke so highly of you, gave you the confidence you needed to believe you could make friends, but what if everything really did go horribly wrong, would you be stuck there all day?

“Mama?” you continued the conversation after a few minutes of watching tv had passed.

“Hmm?”

“I want to go to da sciewence schoowl, but what if I need you when I der?”

Wanda thought about this for a moment, You're far too young to have a cell phone, but a communication line wouldn’t be such a bad thing for you. It could help calm your anxiety and in her line of work, anything could happen so it would make things safer.

“Well, if there is something really important, you can tell your teacher and she can get ahold of me,” Wanda explained. You didn’t seem too satisfied with that answer though as you gave a somber acknowledgment. What if you weren't able to get the teacher's attention, or the teacher just plain refused, the plan just didn't seem very solid.

Wanda could see that you weren’t content with her solution, “Or I can show you a trick,” she offered.

Your face perked up, immediately intrigued, your little hands clutching a stuffed toy tightly, gazed up at Wanda with wide-eyed wonder, “a trick?” you asked

“Close your eyes, my little one,” Wanda explained and you did as she instructed, “now, take a deep breath. Imagine a warm light surrounding us, enveloping us like a soft, protective blanket. or a big fluffy cloud”

As you sat with your eyes closed, a serene smile graced Wanda's face. She concentrated, allowing her own powers to flow through her, and extended her thoughts toward you. With a gentle touch of her mind, she created a bridge between your thoughts, a telepathic connection unique to you.

"Now, detka," Wanda whispered, "I want you to think of something you want to tell me, but without saying it out loud. Just focus on the feeling and the words in your mind."

Your brows furrowed and your face scrunched in concentration, your little face reflecting the effort of trying to convey your thoughts through this newfound connection. Wanda could feel your tiny mind reaching out tentatively, like a fragile thread stretching between the two of you.

With each passing moment, the connection grew stronger, and soon your eyes fluttered open, revealing a mixture of surprise and delight. "Mama, can you hear me?" your innocent voice echoed softly between your minds, blending with the quiet hum of the room.

Wanda's heart swelled with joy as she nodded, her eyes shimmering with pride. "Yes, dorogoy, I can hear you!" she exclaimed, "Our thoughts are connected now, and no matter where we are, we can talk to each other like this. Whenever you need me, I will be there for you,” she explained.

In that magical moment, your minds intertwined, You two shared a connection that transcended words. With telepathy, you could communicate your deepest thoughts, dreams, and feelings, strengthening the unbreakable bond between mother and child. Perhaps most importantly to you though, you were able to reach Wanda without the confines of distance.

As you sat there, immersed in your newfound ability, Wanda couldn't help but marvel at the wonder of it all. She knew that this telepathic connection would serve as a source of comfort and reassurance for you, a constant reminder that you were always connected, even when physically apart.

With that, you were content with the decision to attend the science camp. Not only that, but you were excited again. Instead of focusing on the parts that worried you, you were able to shift your focus onto all the exciting things you were bound to learn and discover. Your mind ran wild with outrageous theories, like discovering fossils or trying to figure out the speed of a flamingo by simply racing beside it.

The first day of camp approached rather quickly. In the days leading up, you would often use your new ability to have silent conversations with Wanda. Sometimes you would do it to practice and make sure that you still could when you needed to, and other times you did it to express feelings and emotions that you had trouble translating into words.

Wanda and Nat were both there to drop you off on your first day, you were less nervous than they expected you to be which they were grateful for. Now that you were able to contact Wanda you felt safe in exploring new experiences alone, and maybe that's because you never felt alone, because she would always be there for you if you needed.

The camp was divided into different age groups. The majority of the kids were 4th and 5th graders, but there was a small group of children your age. Wanda and Nat were grateful that you would have enough children to socialize with but not so many that it would seem overwhelming. Hopefully, with the smaller group, it would be easier to make friends.

In fact, you didn't even get to the classroom before you made your first friend, “Hi, I’m Matthew, what's your name?” you turned to the voice that spoke behind you, “Hi! I’m Y/N” you greeted. “Y/N! Dat’s a cool name! You wike space too? I wove space!” he mentioned as he noticed your shirt that showed a playful astronaut floating in space, holding a slice of pizza in one hand and giving a thumbs-up with the other reading Pizza Planet Explorer, “Wanna be fwreinds?” he asked.

You were caught off guard by how quickly he spoke and became distracted, but of course, you wanted to make friends and you already had something in common, “Yes, we can be fwreinds, I love space too. My favowite planet is Saturn” you enthusiastically replied.

“I wike Jupiter da most cuz it’s da biggest,” Matthew responded.

The two of you sat next to each other throughout the demonstrations and even shared a table at lunch. Wanda had packed you a container of yogurt, sliced strawberries and baby carrots, and some Mini turkey and cheese roll-ups which were basically just a turkey sandwich rolled into bite-sized pieces for easy eating. At the bottom of your lunch box, there was a note that read,

My Dearest Y/N,

I hope you're having a wonderful day at school! I am so incredibly proud of you. Remember, my little superhero, you have the power to do anything you set your mind to. Each day, you're growing stronger, smarter, and more amazing. I can't wait to hear all about your day when you come home. Keep shining bright, my sunshine.

With all my love,

Mama

You couldn’t help but smile as you attempted to read the note, you still weren’t really able to read but you were able to pick out keywords like love, smarter, amazing, and superhero, so you got the vibe and felt comforted by it, which is all Wanda had hoped for.

“What’s dat?” Matthew asked as he saw you set the note down next to your baby carrots. “Oh, my mama wrote me a note” you explained.

“Oh wow, she must really love you,” he stated as he wondered why he never received any notes with his meal.

“Yea, she does,” you said with a gleaming smile.

You managed to survive the entire day without contacting Wanda at all. She hoped it was a good sign as she and Nat headed to pick you up. They were made sure to be there 5 minutes before pick-up so that you wouldn’t have to wait, knowing you’d be excited to see them and tell them all about how it went.

As soon as the door opened for dismissal, you immediately found Wanda’s green eyes and ran full speed with your arms stretched out reaching for a hug. She enveloped tightly you as she lifted you off the ground for a long embrace. The two were happy to see that your face was filled with nothing but joy.

Wanda continued to carry you as the three of you headed toward the car. Wanda ducked into the driver's seat after getting you settled into your car-seat and Nat took the seat next to you in the back so that she could hear all about your day.

“Sooo, how was it? Tell us all about it!” Nat insisted.

“Was so fun! We learned bout uhm- OH! JUPITER HAS A RAINSTORM! And Mafwew said dat if we went to space, der wouldn’t be any noise.”

“Matthew?” Wanda asked as she caught glimpses of you speaking through her rear view mirror.

“Yea mama! My new fwiend! He wikes space tew!” you excitedly announced. You went on to tell them all about the things that you learned and how much fun you had with Matthew. Tomorrow couldn't come quick enough.

“Did they give you any homework?” Nat asked once you had finished.

“Oh yea, is in my bag” you answered as you showed Nat where it was in your bag. She read over the instructions and mentioned that you could do it right when you got home. The assignment wasn’t anything too difficult, but it sure was time-consuming.

The project was about energy and showing how much we consume every day. The worksheet was laid out so that all you had to fill in were blocks of color. You were given a piece to plug into your outlets and once you had the item mentioned plugged in, it would show an amount. Then you had to fill in the bubble that corresponded with the range on your outlet.

Nat and Wanda both helped you through this but you soon became bored and no longer wanted to do it. It was so repetitive and your toys were sitting right there just waiting to be played with. Eventually you got through it without making too much of a fuss and you could finally get on with what you wanted to do, except that didn't last long because before you knew it, Wanda was telling you it was bathtime.

“But mama, I just stawrted pwlayin” you said somberly.

Wanda wanted to give you more time to play but it was already getting late and you had to be up early tomorrow, “I know, I’m sorry baby, but it’s late and you need a bath before camp tomorrow.” Without a fight, you reluctantly followed hoping that tomorrow would be better.

When you arrived home from camp the next day, the same dreaded question was asked, “Do you have any homework today?” You remembered how long and grueling your homework was last night, and instead of showing them the papers that your teacher gave you, today, you simply shook your head. Of course, Nat, the trained super spy, noticed the hesitation in your response as the gears turned in your brain and saw right through you. Deciding that she would look in your bag herself once you all arrive at the compound.

You immediately ran to the common room to play with your toys. Natasha, in the kitchen with Wanda, investigated your bag as Wanda cleaned your lunch box. “No homework huh?” Nat muttered as she held up your papers for Wanda to see. They shared a knowing look as Nat mentioned she would talk to you while Wanda finished cleaning out your lunch.

Natasha entered the common room, a concerned expression on her face, holding your backpack in her hand. She had a feeling something was off when you claimed there was no homework. She sat down next to you, as you played with your toys.

"Hey, sweetheart," Natasha said gently, placing the bag on the coffee table. "I happened to find something interesting in your backpack. Do you want to explain why you said you didn't have any homework?"

Your eyes widened, realizing you had been caught in your little white lie. You fidgeted with your toys, avoiding Natasha's gaze. "I... I didn't want to do it. It- it takes SOO long, and den I don’t get to play." you admitted.

Natasha reached out and gently turned your face towards her, meeting your eyes. "Sweetheart, I understand that homework can sometimes feel dull, but it's important to be honest with us. We're here to help and support you, but we need to know what's going on."

Wanda entered the room once your bag was all cleaned. Sensing the tension, she knelt down beside Natasha and spoke in a reassuring tone. "Y/N, we want you to succeed in everything you do. And that includes being honest, even when it's hard. We're a family, and families trust and support each other."

A family.

Natasha noticed the term and felt elated that she was included in the phrase. The three of you were a family. It didn’t matter whether Wanda and Nat were best friends, or something more than that; the three of you were family. You felt their endless love, even if they hadn’t figured out that part of that love lay within each other.

Your lower lip quivered, realizing the weight of your actions. "I'm sorry, Natty. I didn't mean to lie."

Natasha's expression softened, and she pulled you into a comforting hug. "It's okay, sweetheart. We all make mistakes, and the important thing is to learn from them. Let's work on being honest with each other, alright?"

Wanda joined the hug, enveloping you both in her warm embrace. "We love you, Y/N, no matter what. And we're here to help you with your homework too. It doesn't have to be boring. We can find fun and creative ways to learn together."

You sniffled, feeling a mix of relief and remorse. They were right. Lying wasn't the solution, and you knew deep down that they were always there to support her. You nodded, determined to make things right.

“It can be fun?” you wondered how they planned to turn such a mundane task into something, fun.

“We can turn it into a special challenge!" Nat chimed in

You looked up, curious about the proposal. "A challenge?"

Wanda chimed back in, joining the conversation. "That's right, sweetheart! We'll create a reward system for each task you complete. Once you finish your homework, we can all have a movie night or make your favorite dessert together."

Your eyes lit up with excitement. "Really? We can have a movie night?"

Natasha nodded. "Absolutely! But first, we need to get those homework assignments done. Let's break it down into smaller tasks, so it feels less overwhelming. We'll be right here with you, cheering you on."

Wanda took your hand and sat beside you at the table. Nat and Wanda each took turns reading different questions out for you.

With their gentle encouragement and the promise of a fun reward, you felt motivated. They both stayed by your side, offering guidance and praise as you worked through each task. They made the process enjoyable by adding some playful moments and even turning math problems into little games.

As you completed each question, you couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. With every finished task, you grew more confident and proud of yourself. By the time you completed your last assignment, you practically beamed with joy. Almost as if homework was just as fun as playtime with your toys.

Natasha and Wanda gathered around you, excitedly applauding your efforts. "Great job, Y/N! You did it!" Natasha exclaimed.

Wanda hugged you tightly. "We're so proud of you, sweetheart."

You grinned, feeling a sense of pride and happiness wash over you. With your two favorite people by your side, even homework could turn into an adventure filled with love and support; and as promised, you all enjoyed a delightful movie night, celebrating your achievements. You had shocked both Wanda and Nat with your choice of movie for the night, Planet 51, purely because it was something other than Frozen.

For the rest of the week, Natasha and Wanda made it a point to create a positive and engaging homework routine for you. They turned studying into a fun activity, incorporating games, rewards, and plenty of encouragement. You learned that honesty and open communication were far more rewarding than any short-lived escape from homework.

Together, you tackled assignments, explored new concepts, and celebrated each milestone. You discovered that learning could be an exciting journey, especially when shared with your favorite people.

A few days later, the aroma of a freshly cooked meal wafted through the air of the kitchen, tempting your taste buds and filling the room with mouthwatering scents as you sat patiently at the table. Once Wanda had begun serving up plates of food, you noticed that the meal was something that you had no interest in eating. Your once adventurous appetite had transformed into a discerning palate, making mealtime a challenge for your loving guardians, Natasha and Wanda.

"Come on, Y/N," Natasha coaxed, her voice gentle but firm. "You need to eat your vegetables. They'll make you strong like a superhero."

Your bottom lip jutted out, and you crossed her arms, proclaiming, "I don't like vegables, Natty!"

Wanda, with her patient demeanor, joined in, her voice filled with warmth. "But sweetheart, vegetables have magical powers! They can give you energy to run fast like-" Wanda abruptly cut her sentence short at the sudden realization that you had never met her brother. Pietro never had the chance to become an uncle before his life was tragically taken from her, him. She struggled to come up with a new comparison, as her mind was scrambling to revive her sentence. Nat immediately picked up on Wanda’s distress and quickly put a reassuring hand on Wanda’s shoulder as she took over, “They can make you strong like Mr. Bucky and Peter,” Nat concluded.

The presence of Nat’s hand on her shoulder quelled Wanda’s mind from running in circles trying to backpedal as she focused on the way it felt to have Nat soothingly move her hand from her shoulder to her back in a messy circular motion, subconsciously leaning into her ever so slightly.

You glanced skeptically at the colorful array of vegetables on your plate. "Really?"

Natasha nodded, a playful sparkle in her eyes. "Absolutely! And if you eat your vegetables, you might even develop some superpowers of your own."

You carried the skepticism into your look back to Nat, “I alweady hab powers!” You said as you called her out.

Nat’s eyes widened ever so slightly as she remembered that little detail but you didn’t catch the slight crack in her resolve. She was so used to treating you like a kid, like a normal kid, that she began to suppress the fact that you are in fact enhanced yourself, “New ones,” she responded as she covered up her slight oversight.

Wanda smiled as she watched the interaction, her voice filled with excitement. "Perhaps you'll develop the power to talk to animals or create beautiful flowers with just a wave of your hand."

Your imagination ignited, and you tentatively reached for a small piece of broccoli, eyeing it with newfound intrigue. Hesitantly taking a bite, to your surprise, a burst of flavor danced on your tongue.

"Yummy!," You exclaimed, a hint of both shock and amazement in your voice.

Natasha and Wanda exchanged triumphant glances, their plan unfolding successfully. They knew that sometimes a dash of imagination and a sprinkle of superhero magic were all it took to conquer a picky eater's heart.

Encouraged by your enthusiasm, Natasha and Wanda continued to weave tales of vegetable-powered adventures, turning each bite into a step closer to unlocking extraordinary powers. With every vegetable conquered, your confidence grew, and soon the plate was empty—a victorious battle won against the picky eater dilemma.

As you savored the last bite, you looked up at Natasha and Wanda, a bright smile lighting up your face. "I did it! I ate all my vegebles, just wike a real superhero!"

Natasha and Wanda shared a proud glance, their hearts brimming with joy. Together, they celebrated the triumph of a small victory, knowing that love, creativity, and a touch of superhero magic had transformed a picky eater into a courageous little hero.

Taglist: @mymommawanda@livslifeonline@reggierizzoli@mythixmagic@lesbicentism@marvelogic@katethewriter @inluvwithfictionalwomen @spooky-reader1 @marvelogic @kissforvoid

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