#i mean if i'm sending and writing that farewell post

[fishedeyelenz]

ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE BLACK CHRISTMAS FANDOM

Hello everyone who's been following my writing and art and OC's!! Your support has warmed my heart, and got me through some thought times. Thank you very much for sticking by me, commenting, sending me kudos and asks regarding Dilf Billy and my oc-verse I made around him!

However... I have come to realize I have made Billy, at least the older 45-50 year old version of him my own. Very much my own. I think there's a discrepancy between my characterization of him, and how he is portrayed in the movie/novel/commentary. Another thing is that I love him too much. I want to make him my own, not an interpretation of a pre-existing character...

So that's exactly what I am going to do! I'm taking him and making him an OC. Currently I am in the process if changing up his backstory to make him distinct from Billy Lenz, though the Dilf version we see in Rats in the shadows and partially in So give me coffee and tv will stay similar.

My goal is to create a group of ocs consisting of the character formerly known as Billy, Camille, Bean and other side characters who will exist in a story about an ex serial killer father. I'm still early in the rework, but I feel like I don't have change too much.

What this means I will effectively be distancing myself at least partially from the Black Christmas fandom, at least in terms of my content creation though these past few months I have been in a rut given college preoccupying most of my time. I still love Black Christmas, it will remain one of my favorite movies forever. I cherish the friends I made and the experiences I had, but I want to move on to more original creations, uninhibited by primary existing source materials.

I will still interact with fan works in terms of reblogging art and writing , and I will most likely draw more of Billy Lenz and the other characters from the movie in the future. Anything regarding Camille, Bean, "dilf Billy" though, will be something divorced from Black Christmas, entirely its own thing, though obviously inspired by it.

Will I return to writing for Black Christmas? At this point I am uncertain. I have a WIP of a priest!au thing for Dilf Billy, which if I ever get around to finishing I would post under the pretense that it's a Black Christmas fanwork. However, I am not sure if I will finish it, given that I don't really have the time, and at the moment motivation to really work on it. Another story idea exists too, one which would better fit into the Black Christmas ethos with is very dark tone and heavy subject matter (while still remaining a smut work) which I would gladly have exist as a fanwork.... But once again I am lacking the time and want to do it. It would be a very big project, all things considered.

So what now? I will keep all my Billy Lenz/Dilf Billy content up on my blog, my AO3 will stay intact (though I will forward this announcement onto there), and I won't change my tags on Dilf Billy related posts. Moving forward, though, everything created for my oc inspired by Billy Lenz/Dilf Billy Lenz will be tagged as that. I need to come up with a new name for him first...

I will also make a post regarding how the plot of Rits/Sgmcatv would have went if I'd finished them, to give you guys some sort of conclusion. Though the new oc story with Bean, Camille and the new Billy oc in it will very closely follow Rits original storyline. Most of the events of Rits are canon still in regards to Camille's and Bean's backstory, with of course some caveats (no Brahms, Camille and "Billy" meet differently etc.). But the large majority of the plot points and story beats are the same.

I will be happy to answer any further questions, as my inbox is open. I'm sorry to disappoint anyone, but I've felt the need to move on, to elevate this story. I hope I can be forgiven. Now I bid farewell to this part of my life and creative era, and look forward to the new.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Hugest of sighs.

I really hate it when I can feel a special interest dying.

It's like watching something you've loved and put your everything into for however long get smaller and smaller in the distance. Until it disappears in a puff of smoke.

I can feel it happening with Dragon Age.

It's actually managed to hang on for a long time, so I guess I should just... wish it a fond farewell and let it go.

I was going to write a less acid filled version of my editorial critique/review about the gameplay preview to send to the devs, but why?

I don't get the kind of interaction I need on posts like my Dragon Age posts to help me keep the special interest alive.

The devs aren't going to listen to some internet rando like me if I did waste my time writing it. Not even if I'm actually a professional editor and this is in fact my job that I'm pretty good at.

They don't even toss me a heart on responses to their posts. And they probably wouldn't read it even if it did happen to make it through all the stuff they probably get on their feeds, anyway. Valuable professional editorial critique or not.

Before I stepped way back from social media I could easily get thousands of @ in a day. I know what they must be dealing with.

I have other things I should really be spending my time on.

Sadly, my special interest in Dragon Age has been on life-support since I saw the gameplay preview.

My DA gaming group has gone from a couple hundred people, most of whom weren't active, to waaaaay more people than I'm comfortable being social with. (I have since muted most of it and withdrawn from anything I'm just... not interested in anymore.)

I honestly feel the new look for Solas killed Solas for me. (Given I'm solavellan that's saying one hell of a lot.) For a bit there, I was hoping he'd grow on me. But apparently, I haven't been inoculated with that particular style of virulent mould yet. So it hasn't happened. Every time I saw a picture I just... cared a little less.

Where once I had the fires of a volcano inside my heart for this franchise, nothing but ash in a breeze remains.

It's always possible that something could happen to reignite my passion for it. It's happened a few times before for faded special interests. It could also be my depression talking and I'll feel completely different tomorrow. That's happened too. (So far hasn't happened in the threeish days since I wrote this. It's probably not the depression.)

But... After seeing that gameplay preview, and listening to the Q&A, and reading the Game Informer post... it may just be time to call Time of Death. As someone who loved the first three, and who absolutely marinated myself in the lore, I frankly feel betrayed. (I mean... Varric with a beard? Really? There were story significant reasons he did not, in fact, wear a beard, did they forget that? Like they forgot his bloody hair colour?)

So long, Dragon Age. It was fun while it lasted.

I truly do hope people enjoy the blathering posts I did about it when passion filled me.

I hope people truly do enjoy the new game. There's too little joy in this world and I hope with all my heart it gives you as much joy as you can handle. I'm just a little sad it won't for me. I'll always have the first three, which I do legitimately love to pieces.

I'm not even crying or upset. I just... don't care anymore.

From a professional standpoint, that's always a danger when you change a piece of media too much. There has to be a certain amount of continuity to it so it feels the same. Without that?

You lose obsessed people like me.

You lose the older gamers who loved what Dragon Age was.

And absolutely, yes, fiction does need to change. It's an integral part of the whole thing. If it doesn't change, if it doesn't adapt, it dies just as quickly as if it changes too much. I like to see change in media. It's needed in so many ways. Change can be hard to adapt to, of course. Or in some cases impossible. Shrugs.

There's a professional balance to these things. It wouldn't surprise me if I have a bit of savantism when it comes to editing and writing. I just seem to deeply understand how it all works in ways others rarely see. Looking at a novel or a game or a show from an editorial perspective is very much like looking at a 4d puzzle for me. I can instinctively see what works and what doesn't.

It's just that, in my honest professional opinion, they tried to change way too much to appeal to a different set of gamers than those of us who are a little older and have loved the feel of the first three games.

It's not the change itself I object to. I'm definitely not one of those people who thinks that DAO was the best DA ever. I've loved them all for different reasons. But they all still felt like Dragon Age. Even DA2, which a lot of people hate, still felt like a fantasy RPGish adventure. (I enjoyed it for what it was. I'd've liked to see what it could've been with more time, but for what it was, they did a great job and it was an enjoyable game).

DA4? From what we've seen so far, it doesn't even remotely feel like a fantasy RPGish adventure game. It feels like a cheap star wars/FFXIV/Fortnite knockoff designed for a much different type of gamer. (Which was actually confirmed by Epler in the Q&A. They did, in fact, design it more for younger players than those of us who have been waiting for it for however long.) Professionally, I believe that was a mistake that may cost them.

The darkspawn alone are a bloody travesty. WTAF are those things? And yes, I've seen the 'lore excuse' that it's the red lyrium making them look like bad halloween deco. I'd buy it if they were kinda spiky and had red lyrium growths and stuff like the red lyrium infected creatures in DAI. But it's like they forgot their own canon.

I dunno. It really just doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure that no matter how beautiful the backgrounds and some of the art they've just... lost me.

I guess I write these kinds of posts so others in the same boat as me know they aren't alone.

You aren't imagining it. While change is in fact good and necessary to a certain extent, they've changed it so much trying to appeal to a different market that it really doesn't feel even remotely like Dragon Age anymore.

[i-amyou]

Not an ask, just some scattered thoughts:

Oh? What was I doing just now? Reading their blog posts?

'Learning'? For what reason? Better yet, WHO is 'learning'? What is there to do, what is there to gain? Why am I even writing to them?

Ah.

I've created such a beautiful play. That is my nature. I forgot about it, just so I could make the play even more entertaining. You know what is undeniable? I had to wake up. It had to happen. it's written all over me. Such a world cannot exist without me. Everyone needs me, for there existence only relies on me.

Yep. Only me.

So who is this me we are talking about? It doesn't matter. You may give it any label or meaning you want. It is all the same.

Even now, as I am writing to them, I acknowledge just how beautiful it really is. I went this far to make up all these concepts, rules, laws, hell, universes if you wish to go that far in depth, to make it as real as possible. Now I realize just how boundless I truly am. Let's be real though, I knew from the very beginning, I only loved entertaining the idea of being something that I was not.

So many beautiful people. So many wonderful worlds. So many wonderful ideas and concepts. I love it. I love me.

This is my peak!!

And so, my story ends here. No need to fret though, it is time to make way for a new and exciting adventure! I've been building up a world from scratch for quite some time now (or so it may seem, hehe), but there is no need to think about time anymore. It is there. I am there. It's been there all along.

Thank you my beautiful self, I bid you farewell.

Tranquility and Beyond.

I love you. Seriously. I experienced overwhelming joy and love when I read this. I'm so happy for you, beyond happy. I can't explain what this made me feel. Oh god. It all really is so beautiful isn't it?

Have fun with your adventures, dream a good dream and have lots of fun with it. Sending all the love and tranquility to you🩷

Also, when you said it's your peak it reminded me of this scene from One piece. And I was just reading manga rn😭

(Yes I screenshot my favorite anime scenes)

[shadowdoodles]

Hello everyone!

Coffe here reporting to you for the first time in a while.

First of all how are you? I hope you are well and that you are taking care of yourselves and drinking water. Hydration is important! I know it's been a while since I've talked to you guys so I just want to know how you're doing before I get to the important part of the post^^

Once that's done let's get to the matter at hand.

I'm sure more than one of you will know about the Shelby situation, and the first thing I want to say is that I fully support her. She is a strong and brave woman who decided to speak out and reveal an abuser, she deserves all our love and affection right now, I know it's scary to talk about your abusers and how much they hurt you that's why I'm with her and this situation I always will be.

Although it should be noted that I had never liked Shelby before and this situation made me know her content and I recommend her to you, she is very sweet and watching her streams makes you have a good and relaxed time. So you can also support her and send her lots of love.

Now let's talk about CC!Wilbur...he is an asshole who should pay for what he did and let's pray to whatever deity that there are no more victims in this situation.

If there are I hope they are safe and well and that they are now with a partner who respects and loves them how they deserve.

But let's talk about C!Wilbur in my stories, I personally will continue to use him. I can separate the character from the CC pretty well and Ao3 doesn't give W money or support so I personally don't mind writing about him. I may not write fics centered around him but he will still be a part of my writing and art.

He will have some changes though, so this character will be more mine, more ours than CC!W's.

This guy, the C!Wilbur I will write from now on will be mine. Not CC!W's, I will add and subtract things to his character that you may or may not think fit him. What I can tell you he will keep is his taste in music and his sweater, because I love music and I love sweaters.

C!Wilbur will obviously have his Lore base or part of the Dsmp Lore but other than that he will be mine or ours. Actually if someone decides to use this version of C!Wilbur once he have his design and character ready I wouldn't mind.

In fact you have my permission to use him, since C!Wilbur doesn't belong to CC!W he belongs to us and we need to give a little life to the character and a little more shine.

So even though I will still call my C!Wilbur, well, Wilbur... his name will be Wilder which means hunter and Wilbur will be his nickname, because I like the name actually.

So with that I bid you farewell and wish you a good day/night! I hope you are all well and are handling this situation as calmly and peacefully as possible.

[hetchdrive]

I think we’re reading May We Be Spared to Meet on Earth at roughly the same time and are currently at roughly the same parts. I just wanted to say I think that’s very cool of us 😌 Do you have any favorite letters so far?

You're right that is very cool of us! Let me just uhhh look through my notes...

So far my favorite letters have been Goodsir's letter to his dad which I reblogged from you, for the reasons in the post. Goodsir is so bluntly endearing, somehow. He seems very young. Oh I've just looked up how old Goodsir was when the expedition vanished and he was 28. Oh alright then. I'm emotional about this.

Other favorite letter so far was unexpectedly one of John Irving's, to his sister-in-law Catherine. This paragraph really hit me as like, a premonition of the upcoming disaster:

"I intended to write something to amuse you, but I find I cannot help being serious. Everything around me, and every duty I am engaged in, tend at present to make me so-- I mean all keep me so much alive the feeling of a long separation from those near and dear to me. Even in writing I am reminded that a terrible long pause of anxious suspense is before me, when I can only hope, without the prospect of tidings of good or ill. So, my dear Katie, do not blame me that you should have been, whilst reading the mass of scribbling, obliged to banish your usual smiles. I will write you yet again, so I shall not take a very formal farewell of you at this time. My most brotherly love to my dear Lewis. --Yours very affectionately, John Irving."

Irving also sent back to England a number of drawings. Several men did but Irving's seem to be the best of the ones included in the book. Also, of two skeletons returned to England at the time of the McClintock expedition, one of them was identified as Irving by the presence of a maths medal next to the body, which I find deeply endearing. This book has made me a big Irving fan, honestly. Didn't have any strong feelings about him before starting reading this and now I'm like ough... my guy.

My other observation so far is that it seems like Franklin was unfairly characterized in the show, as his letters so far paint a picture of a fairly cautious man.

It is Fitzjames who is the king of hubris.

There are multiple letters where the endnotes make note of how the things he is saying shows he does not have a good understanding of the Arctic and that's really interesting to me from the perspective of seeing show!Crozier and Fitzjames' relationship conflict early on as coming from a place of Crozier's experience vs Fitzjames' support of Franklin's dismissal of him, with the idea (I had always thought) being that Franklin thinks his feelings of optimism and belief God will see them through are substitutes for dealing with the material realities of that place. And like, no! Actually that should have been Fitzjames, going off these letters! But it makes sense from a character writing perspective. Foolish, foolish man. Excited to see how my opinion of this evolves as I continue to read.

Also, Fitzjames' aggressive confidence in repeatedly pestering John Barrow Jr. about whether he's gotten the position or not is honestly kind of inspiring in a "if this man from the 1840s can speak like he knows anything when he clearly doesn't I myself should step up game in these job interviews". There's one particular letter that absolutely floored me, and it was the 11th of February one:

"In case of Crozier's appointment I send you a letter to Beaufort asking him to try for Le Vesconte which pray send at once as soon as you know I am not to go-- if I am appointed tear it up-- .... Mind I am in confident expectations of the Second Ship in Franklin's expedition nothing else is worth having." [I have used italics where there were underlines]

Nothing else is worth having. Absolutely awful, vainglorious man. This has made me dearly want to write my own version of my headcanon first meeting of "Fitzjames puffs himself up, fails to impress Crozier, feels rejected about it and forms a grudge" because holy shit, he is actually so much worse than I already thought. Also because "nothing else is worth having" would be a banger title.

I do appreciate that Fitzjames seems to have been a man who is eager to lift other men up, as this is not the only time he makes suggestions to Barrow Jr. about appointments and promotions-- if he was obsessed with status for himself he was at least trying to lift his friends up, as well. Pity this doesn't extend to Crozier! Would have been a very different expedition if it did!

Wow, long post which I took so long to write, my bad. What are your own favorite letters so far?

[onekisstotakewithme]

2023 Fic Masterlist

Happy New Year, everyone! I thought I'd do another yearly round-up of everything I wrote for M*A*S*H this year. It was, admittedly, a quieter year this year, but I still have some stories I'm pretty proud of. Enjoy!

Works in Progress (WIPs)

Close to the Heart (6/12 chapters posted) - “Anything close to the heart is risky.” One spring morning in 1952, Peg Hunnicutt walks into Hawkeye Pierce's office with one simple request: kill her husband. Noir AU (well, subverted noir AU), triad-ish. 23.5k so far.

into a gold and crimson graciousness of October (1/5 chapters posted) - A chance meeting in a Hannaford parking lot in the fall of 1955 leads to Donna being invited to spend Thanksgiving in Crabapple Cove. What she isn't expecting is that Charles will be there too. Sort-of sequel to 'younger in October than in all the months of spring; Charleshawk, Charles/Donna, Charles/Donna/Hawkeye. 5k so far.

BJ/Hawkeye/Peg

the best thing going - It looks like any other beach. Sun, sand, ocean... the only thing missing is the clothes. Written for the "M*A*S*H Fic Olympics", 1960s AU set at a nude beach. 5k.

As Years Unfurl - Ten years after the war ends, under the clock in Grand Central Station. Post-canon. 1.5k.

fire's burning (draw nearer) - A late-night conversation that Peg (mostly) isn't meant to hear. Post-canon, 1k.

Beejhawk

just can't stand another lonely night - Hawkeye walks in on BJ during R&R, and decides to offer him a hand. Canon-compliant, Smut, Touch-starved BJ. 3.3k.

its torment won't be through - “She hasn’t seen what this place does to good men. Never mind what it does to those of us that were rotten to start with.” Tag to "That's Show Biz". 2.6k

addressed to the fire - BJ writes a lot of letters, but he only sends some of them. (Or 5 times BJ doesn't send a letter, +1 time he does) Canon-compliant. Written for the "M*A*S*H Fic Olympics". 2.9k.

BJ/Peg

Aurora - She looks up, her heart beating hard against her ribcage, and then, like the sun breaking over the horizon, she sees him. Tag to "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen." 2k.

Perfect - It’s going to be perfect, if she has anything to say about it. She owes it to BJ, to put the past two anniversaries behind them, to come out of the dark night hand in hand, stronger and still together. Peg and BJ's first anniversary after Korea. 2.5k.

Sunshine & Orange Blossoms - Sunshine and the smell of oranges, the smell of home. Written for the "M*A*S*H Fic Olympics". 2k.

Other/Gen

Welcome to Korea... Again - Twenty years after the end of the Korean War, Hawkeye and the other members of the 4077th MASH reunite in Korea. Post-canon. Featured in the M*A*S*H 50th Anniversary Fanzine. 2.5k.

The Flying Dutchman of the Pusan Perimeter - Later, he’ll hear the stories of tonight in hospitals across Japan and Korea, told as ghost stories. Steve Newsome-centric fic. Written for the "M*A*S*H Fic Olympics." 1.6k.

Something Good - “What’s your something good?” “Huh?” “I mean, you know, we’re not the Plaza, but hey we’re not all bad. There’s gotta be something good about this place. Of course, I haven’t found it yet.” BJ & Hawkeye friendship fic. Tag to "Letters". 1.3k.

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE

I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???

I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H

Okay so

I...

have been cooking

by which I mean illusions of grandeur and

schemes

And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.

I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.

The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home

“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.

Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and

Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.

OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).

Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).

There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol

WHICH REMINDS ME

The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.

And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS

I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa

I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing

I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)

and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)

I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH

anyway

OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think

[iightbringer]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝓲. ︱ introduction.

hello all, thank you for taking the time to read this silly little blog intro!  my name is lucifer and you may use any pronouns you feel fit for me, i’m not picky in the least. i am twenty this year and a proud virgin— i mean .. virgo. i’m terrible at writing bio’s, so here’s just a few things to know about me — i come from a land down unda, i sow chaos, confusion and mild amounts of concern in the hearts of everyone i meet and oh, did i mention how much i fucking love frogs? like, i can’t get enough of those funky little guys. that muppet has inexplicably and irreparably ruined me. and now, moving right along with a word from our sponsor, who just so happens to be the most beautiful, amazing girl in the entire world — my darling girlfriend! love you, boo <3

❝⠀⠀ hi. i'm lucifer's 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 &. today i'm here 2 talk abt the one nd the only: lucifer. first, they vvv friendly. it's almost scary bc who tf is that nice. well i have news for u. they are. i'm still shy to approach them even if we're tgt bc they like. rly talented. they modest asf but they're rly good at everything they do. esp writing. nd art. like girl i can't even begin to tell u. u hve to see for yourself. also: charming. so playful but in endearing way. and. that dumbass never fails to make me smile. 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭: so. protective. their loyalty is absolutely. shocking. nd they dn't just give that away. next slide: observant. and so focused on details &. ideas. constantly thinking abt smth. seeing them brainstorm or voice their opinion will never not be fascinating. furthermore: they genuine &. best believe they'll keep it 𝟏𝟎𝟎 w u. they dn't play w bs yk. it took a lot for me to understand they hve good intentions. they're good to me, &. they treat me so well. but now ik it's bc they truly love me. to close: i'm not the type to say sappy things. even tho that's all i did. but meeting them would be so worth it. it was for me. but u better not hurt them. or i'll hve a nice chat with u. anyway. ty for reading this far. if u need me, i'll be busy planning lucifer's demise. farewell.⠀⠀❞

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ signed, 𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖆. ⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝓲𝓲. ︱ interests.

  ⠀⠀⠀these are the things i enjoy doing⠀…

★ ⠀⠀writing. cosplaying. crafting. roleplaying. drawing. gardening. painting. gaming. singing (badly).

  ⠀⠀⠀and these are a few of my favourite things⠀…

★ ⠀⠀horror movies. fizzy drinks. the colour white. jensen ackles. stuffed animals. religious imagery. vintage music. zombies. andrew scott. musical theatre. mod fashion. imagine dragons. aussie representation. theology. gore. trixie mattel. rainbows. mental stability. pokemon. cats. shopping. crime shows.

  ⠀⠀⠀shows i’m into ⠀…

★ ⠀⠀house m.d. supernatural. the walking dead⁺. banshee. you. hannibal. dexter. sherlock. american horror story⁺. criminal minds. scream queens. lucifer. squid game. the boys. the last of us. hazbin hotel. fallout.

  ⠀⠀⠀games i’ve played ⠀…

★ ⠀⠀bioshock⁺. mass effect. resident evil⁺. outlast. beyond: two souls. telltales the walking dead⁺. undertale. alice: madness returns. the quarry. detroit: become human. baldurs gate 3. batman: the telltale series⁺. heavy rain. alien: isolation. we happy few⁺. the last of us. until dawn. death stranding. corpse party.

and for a comprehensive list of horror & marvel movies i’ve seen, click here. 

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝓲𝓲𝓲. ︱ information.

if you’re interested in a roleplay with me, please do feel free to send me a message and i’ll try to get back to you as soon as possible. i do not & will not roleplay with anyone under the age of eighteen.

  ⠀⠀⠀ do not follow this account if you ⠀…

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ are sexist, any sort of phobic, racist, etc. 

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ promote/post about drugs, alcohol or smoking oorp.

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀— ⠀⠀⠀ are a nsfw blog or frequently post nsfw content.

and i think that’s all, folks. thanks for stopping by and have a lovely day, wherever you are. peace!

[elegiesforshiva]

Hii there! You remember the girl whose dad passed away nearly two years ago? That's me!

I think it is important for me to ask you how have you ben doing. Fine, I like to think. Hope life has beeb kind to you. I must admit, this is very likely close to a farewell. This year, rough like the past two, gas surpassed the nightmare that was 2021. And, 2022, even if I like to think it had been good (actively ignoring the grief of losing my dad) if I am honest. This year might be the last.

I must tell you that if that is the case, I loved your work. It was so brutally tragic and beautiful. Hope time allows you to continue; and if not, please know that what you delivered was beautiful. Hope this message finds you well.

Hey this is an incredibly alarming and scary thing to recieve in my ask box and I don't know what's going on, but please ask for help from someone who actually knows you or is a professional in some way. I'm literally just a stranger with too many problems who copes with writing and art. And I know everything sucks but please know the pain that's lead you to send me this is not infinite... And regardless of whatever is going in your life, it's not unsalvageable, or a waste. There is meaning in you being here, and I think you just need to find a way to tap into it (or even create it from the ground up sometimes)... I won't pretend like happiness or a sense of fulfillment is easy by any means, but that's not to say it's not worth pursuing. Aside from all that, based on what you've said about your dad, I don't think he would want to be seeing you so soon. Please take care of yourself and take back your power. There's still a version of you that you've yet to meet and there is love that you have yet to discover. I'm sorry this isn't as well put or inspiring or something as I wish I could write right now, I'm really shaken up recieving this. I hope you're okay... in case you need it, I tried to find some posts and resources. I have no idea where you are, but mental health is so important and you need to commit to it, practice what works for you as much as you can. Please start, you don't have to be perfect at it, just start somewhere. Just cup even a small thing that brings you a moment of joy in your hands, and breathe it in as long as you can, and go from there. https://www.tumblr.com/thetiredstuff/704228836045422592/please-do-not-hesitate-to-contact-suicide https://aurorajalexander.wordpress.com/2023/12/28/heal-after-the-annual-christmas-blues/ also here's some music therapy i play sometimes when im feeling super angsty and batshit lol. It really helps if you're into that and have a pair of headphones. Just put that shit on and tune the world out and the music in and do your best to breathe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AAH7vINhmQ&ab_channel=DestinedDynamics

[scarletfasinera]

Anyway since I can't send an ask because of character limit and I gave up after trying to write it three different ways and it not working, I'll just. Idk write a short vague post back? I'm assuming a vague for a vague is fair (don't worry I don't want to be mean I just have no other way of navigating this situation.) Since I'm exhausted & but want to at least express my view of it.

Idk just on the off chance they see this or one of our shared mutuals shows them or something. My "weak subtext" post had absolutely nothing to do with Adam Warlock, I didn't even remember that I reblogged that poll before making my post. I had seen like six other polls after the Adam one, bc I was actively looking through the blog, that did the exact thing my post was about, the blogrunner (who shall remain anonymous) had Pointed Out in private that it was happening and gave several examples & it was distressing them so I checked the blog myself and commented on it, which was why I made the post. Not the Adam poll in particular which I didn't remember and wasn't thinking about. I do not know enough about Adam to say anything about either the text or the subtext or anything, so I just. Wouldn't? It really baffled me that it was read that way.

Anyway. Farewell beloved mutual we barely knew ye...

[beetlejuiceissmart]

I had an idea for a fan made Beetlejuice send off video to say thank you I guess. Or maybe just to express how much this how show means to all of us. Obviously since its a fan send off video, I need the fans, so here I am. I have ideas for all levels of anonymity, so if you don't feel comfortable showing your face, voice, or either, there are still ways you can participate. I'll need everything by January 7th for a 100% guarantee of being in the video, but I might still take things on the 8th. Yes I know its short notice I'm sorry. Anyways, if you'd like to participate, here's what you can do:Video. This would be a relatively short video, just you talking about Beetlejuice the musical, expressing thanks, whatever you want really. The only requirements for this is that it has to start with either "Beetlejuice" or "Beetlejuice the musical", almost like you're talking to the musical. For example; "Beetlejuice the musical, you have brought me so much joy throughout the years... ect". The video can be as long as you want, but depending on how many videos I get I'll probably only use 30 seconds to 1 minute.Picture. This could be any picture related to Beetlejuice. It could be you with your Beetlejuice merch, it could be you holding a playbill at the marquis, it could be you in Beetlejuice cosplay or costume. It would be of Beetlejuice decorations in your house. Anything to show your appreciation for the musical.Audio. This would be the exact same message as the video, except just an audio of you talking. Fairly straightforward. Again, this would have to start with "Beetlejuice" or "Beetlejuice the musical". You would also need to provide a name or username for the audio to be from. You can also add photo to go with the audio if you want to.Text. This option you be you writing out a message of gratitude, farewell, or anything else addressed to the musical. You can be specific with which font you want, or you can leave it up to me to decide. This would need to be signed with something, it could be your real name or a username of yours.Hand Written Text. This is the exact same thing as text but hand written. This is Just a more personal option. Also, this could be sent to me as a photo or printer scan. A printer scan would be ideal, but a photo is also great! Unfortunately this option may be a bit more difficult because you have to make sure your handwriting is legible in the photo you send.Logo Drawing. This would be a drawing of Beetlejuice the Musical's Logo. It can be on paper, Digitally, anything goes. For this, there are no expectations. As long as you can tell it's the logo, we're all good. It can be a 30 hour masterpiece, or it can be a 30 second doodle drawn on a sticky note. Anything goes. You can submit one, you can submit multiple, I'm happy to have them all. I'm going for quantity over quality for this option. No matter the quality of the logo you send me, it will be used.You can do as many of the above options as you like, any and all participation is greatly appreciated. You can reach me  through this email: anonymousonline197@gmail.com, Please title your email with whichever option you decide to submit just to make everything a little more organized. Hopefully I'll get enough submissions to make this happen!Thank you all for reading this post, please consider participating, and please tell anyone who might be interested

Please excuse my monstrous amount of tags, I just want to make sure this is seen by as many people as possible.

[kyopmi]

hi !! how's everybody been? sorry for disappearing all of a sudden.

the past few weeks have been quite overwhelming and draining for me, so i haven't really had the time to log onto tumblr and ngl i don't think i will have much time to do so in the upcoming weeks too :(

nevertheless, i've missed being here so so bad and i miss all the lovely friends i've had the luck of meeting here and i miss reading the amazing fics by all the talented people and i miss gushing over gorgeous artworks and i miss writing silly little stories about my daydreams. i'd also like to apologize about the amount of interactions i've missed thus far, but thank you so so much for even taking the time to reach out to me🥺 i'll try to get back to them asap!

this post isn't a farewell by any means, but i guess it's a sort of semi-hiatus announcement from me. i don't think i'll be able to write any time soon but i might log in every once in a while when i have the time to, which i hopefully will have more of in the future! and although i won't be able to be on here a lot, i hope everyone knows i think of you guys a lot and i'm wishing you all good things only✨ sending everyone a big hug ! i love you !!! take care !!!

signing off for now.

❤, mizu

[sabriinas]

✍ + Taylor Swift

to my dearest, gorgeous, best friend, @taylorexposed

well, well, well. your big day is getting ever closer, tay. isn't that exciting? i'm beyond thrilled for you. even if it does mean trav is taking you away from me and whisking you off to kansas city - it's like he's trying to tempt me into making a dramatic objection, isn't it? i pinky swear i won't. i still can't believe you're getting married or that you asked me to be your maid of honor. i've never done that before, so i hope i won't let you down. apparently it's a thing that the maid of honor gives a speech? i promise i won't embarrass you too much. but in thinking of what i would say in that speech, it made me realise that i've never stopped to tell you how much i love, adore and appreciate you. and i can't say it to your face because i'll cry, so a letter it is. farewell emails i can't send era, we're in our letter writing moment now. i'll always remember the moment we first met. you've seen those silly little covers i posted when i was a literal infant, so you can only imagine how fucking nervous i was to meet you. but you were so kind, patient and generous with your time. to me, you already felt like this super cool older sister. and to that point, i have never seen you not be this way with all of your fans. even when you're exhausted, you never let it show and you always make sure that they are taking away a positive memory and experience with you. the warmth and kindness you show to everyone, whether it be fan, stage crew or your dancers, is beyond admirable. if everyone could be a little more like you, then the world would be a far kinder place. i'll forever be grateful for the opportunity that you gave me by inviting me to join you on your tour. you've opened doors for me that would have remained closed otherwise, taylor. and beyond that, i'm so fucking thankful for the time that we got to spend together on the road. i'll never forget those late nights in hotel rooms watching terrible movies, or getting the opportunity to perform up on stage with you (still pinching myself tbh). to call you a friend, still feels a little surreal at times. and i'm so fucking lucky for it. you have the biggest brain and i appreciate all of the advice you have given me over the past months. i treasure it all - from our silly little chats (c'mon, not us thinking we could become celibate and join a nunnery), to our d&m's. you're one of the best friends i've had and i look forward to chatting so much more shit with you, baby. forever and ever aaaand ever. love you forever. from one of your self proclaimed fave tiny blondes brina xoxo

[dawnmore]

a friday, feb 2, 2024

okay, i didn't get to write this all last night because i was so tired when i came home, which was probably around 12am-1am

anywaysss

last night was the night of february 1st, the night of prom. my first prom

i had my expectations low, thinking that my whole night would just relate to the song 'prom dress' where she says

"i'm sitting here, crying in a prom dress. i'd be the prom queen if crying was a contest"

so yeahhh, i didn't have just high hopes

oh yeah

the day before prom (jan 31, 2024), i posted an instagram story at around 9am or something

it was posted to close friends: which meaning- it was directed to jay ar and him only

it was pic of the sky with silhouettes of trees, the music being 'love.' - a song i got from ig recommendeds

chose it because well- y'know our call sign used to be Love

so- it's just more hints so that he would get it was directed at him

and i captioned the story

"save the last dance for me?"

i read it somewhere from tiktok, and i was immediately like- this is it, this is what I should say

it was direct, it was short, it was perfect

so i posted it

-

perhaps every three hours i would check to see if he saw it

the next day rolled around

20 hours had past since i've posted the story

only a few hours more until prom

and he still haven't

my nerves were shaking, thinking if i'm doing the right thing

i had already expected he wouldn't see it

sooo i deleted the story and posted it again

-

so there i was

outside the gates of the auditorium with kem

was too nervous to just go inside

so i messaged both ian and alisa

alisa ended up sending people to sundo me

got nervous for a bit because i was with kem

she told me to go to the gates so they could come fetch me

i went with kem, a bit nervous

there, i with the eyes of kenneth and redden

they got a good look at me, but didn't say anything

redden was looking at me like he wanted to say something

i bid kem farewell

and quietly walked behind the two towards the table

redden kept looking back towards me as we were walking

was he checking up if i was catching up with them alright? did he want to say something? i didn't really know

as we got to the table

i got a handful of reactions

right as i got there, i made eye contact with bap and he immediately said "ang ganda mo naman" with a cute and charming smile on his face

baby that gave me butterflieeeesss, he tried to make it sound casual but i could tell he meant it and ahhhh it was cute

also mavi telling me i'm like a superhero because i have a cape

someone told me maganda daw yung mask ko, i think it was aljur? couldn't really remember

-

and we all lined up outside for the entrance, once again alphabetical

so jay ar again was almost beside me, wearing his masquerade mask, he looked pretty cute i guess

that was when i remembered the instagram story

i quickly opened my phone and went to go check

...he saw it

he finally saw it

just seened it, no react or anything

but my nerves are already shaking from the fact he finally saw it

thinking and thinking if he would eventually ask me to dance at one point this night

so yeah, that concludes the first part of last night's prom

[seraphiism]

─── 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐈𝐒𝐌'𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓

✧ ˚ · . welcome to kay's 2023 writing collab event! this is intended to be small, no pressure community event ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و essentially, the premise is to pick a quote from this post and write a fic revolving around said quote! there are many options, so i hope everyone will find one they'll enjoy integrating into their story (･ω･ﾉﾉﾞ

✧ ˚ · . STATUS [ 12/31 ] : CLOSED! masterlist here!

✧ ˚ · . guidelines !

01. SFW x reader fics only. 02. no dark content, no NSFW content. 03. no min or max word count. 04. pick only one quote; this means only one submission per writer for this event. i would like everyone to have a fair chance :^) this is subject to change, though! i don't expect all the quotes to be claimed, so maybe later down the road, the submission count will increase. 05. when you post your fic : ♡ provide the source of the quote ( e.g. from path to nowhere, by so and so, etc. ) ♡ mention/tag me so i don't miss anyone's work (•’╻’• ۶)۶ ( @seraphiism ) ♡ link back to this post ♡ tag your fic with #seraphiism'23

✧ ˚ · . how do i join ?

choose a quote & fandom from the lists below, then send me an ask containing: ♡ the quote you want to claim ♡ ( preferably ) the fandom you'll be writing for ( if you’re not sure, still deciding, or decide later that you want to change it, that’s fine! as long as it’s from the fandom list. you don’t have to msg me or anything! ) ♡ the blog name you will be posting your fic from please note there are no duplicates, so quotes are claimed on a first come, first serve basis. if someone else has claimed that quote, i will let you know! i'll respond to the ask and update the quote list with your blog name.

✧ ˚ · . when is the deadline ?

the deadline to post fics will be december 31st! this is a very, very lax deadline. if you don't have enough time, expect to post your fic after the date, or no longer wish to participate, that's completely okay! the point of this event is just to have fun. things happen-- school, work, life events, emergencies, creative block, etc. -- i understand, so please do not feel obligated :^) that being said, if you decide to not participate anymore, send me a message so i can make the quote available again! you are also more than welcome to post the fic before dec 31st!

✧ ˚ · . fandoms ! ( under the cut )

♡ baldur's gate ♡ code vein ♡ dragon age ( all series ) ♡ fire emblem ( all series ) ♡ genshin impact ♡ granblue fantasy ♡ final fantasy ( all series ) ♡ honkai star rail ♡ jujutsu kaisen ♡ obey me ♡ path to nowhere ♡ resident evil ( all series ) ♡ tears of themis ♡ tokyo revengers ( time-skip only ) ♡ touchstarved

✧ ˚ · . quotes !

╭┈ 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 ✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶 01. ' please don't get hurt while i'm not around. ' 02. ' i know it's painful, but don't give up. ' 03. ' let go. this time, it's my turn to protect you. ' 04. ' as long as you need me, i'll always stay by your side. ' 05. ' i want to watch it once more, the sunrise. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @dxy-drxxm )

✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶𝗶 06. ' when that time comes, i shall willingly be at your mercy and follow you to the ends of the earth. ' 07. ' it must be hard for you to understand, right? that there'd be a selfish, cruel and cold-blooded monster like me in this world. ' 08. ' i know you're suffering now. perhaps nothing i will say will ease your pain. ' 09. ' no, i don't want you to die. i won't allow it. ' 10. ' you're ahead of others in reaching the end that nobody can escape. '

✧. ┊ 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱 11. ' i wonder if you remember me as i was. sometimes i think of those days. do you? ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @primoredial-jade ) 12. ' there will come a time when we must part. i only tell you this in the hope to make easier our farewells. ' 13. ' all things end, all things burn to ash, but you, my friend, burn bright. ' 14. ' when you are near, my heart is at peace. ' 15. ' i see inside you. but you're not as twisted as i thought you'd be. '

✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰 16. ' what in the world is going on here? are you trying to flirt with me? ' 17. ' i pity you, human. you're so good, but there's so little of you left. ' 18. ' you've got enough sins on your conscience to suffer until the end of days. ' 19. ' if no one has ever told you about your fate, i will be the first. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @undermine-the-instinct ) 20. ' compassion might be the most sincere emotion a human being is capable of. '

✧. ┊ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗮 21. ‘ if you have to face emotions you wanted to keep buried, secrets you wanted to keep hidden away, and pain you wanted to forget, do you think you'll be able to accept them as your own? ’ 22. ' no matter what happens, you mustn't let go of my hand. ' 23. ' i had well beyond my share of happiness. i don't need any more. ' 24. ' i know we'll find each other. i have faith we will. ' 25. ' keep just a little bit of me in a corner of your soul. '

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 26. ' may you find your worth in the waking world. ' ┊  bloodborne 27. ' this may sound strange, but... have i somehow changed? ' ┊ bloodborne 28. ' you can close your eyes. i'll always remain here by your side. ' ┊ persona 29. ' should you ever lose hope, should you be too weak to stand, remember that you are not alone. ' ┊ persona ➺ CLAIMED ( @auraxins ) 30. ' we all make choices, but in the end our choices make us. ' ┊ bioshock

╭┈ 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 ✧. ┊ 𝗮𝗴𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗱 31. ' if you can't hold it back, it's okay to cry. you're already more than enough to be loved. ' 32. ' the past is gone, the future is far away. what are you afraid of? ' 33. ' i'm always here, so don't worry too much. ' 34. ' you who sleep for your dreams, it's okay to rest. ' 35. ' forever’s something like a sand castle, you know. it comes crumbling down at the calmest of waves. '

✧. ┊ 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 + 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲 36. ' you can’t carry it with you if you want to survive. ' 37. ' i’m not calling you a ghost ; just stop haunting me. ' 38. ' then i heard your heart beating ; you were in the darkness too, so i stayed in the darkness with you. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @decadentfantasy ) 39. ' you can't choose what stays and what fades away ; and i'd do anything to make you stay. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @noxtivagus ) 40. ' and the heart is hard to translate, it has a language of its own. '

✧. ┊ 𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗻 41. ' what we had was never enough for us, just echoes and dust. ' 42. ' but please, just hold on to me ; i've slayed these demons, they're old to me. ' 43. ' some say these things are for the best ; how are you so sure? ' 44. ' all you want so far is love, death and some kind of higher high. ' 45. ' i used to wonder what love is, but ever since you've been around, i finally think i have it figured out. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @teyvattales )

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘀 46. ' you taught me the courage of the stars before you left. ' ┊ sleeping at last 47. ' the heaviness that i hold in my heart's been crushing me. ' ┊ sleeping at last 48. ' don't bring tomorrow cause i already know i'll lose you. ' ┊ daughter 49. ' and if you're in love, then you are the lucky one. ' ┊ daughter 50. ' my love, don't look back anymore. ' ┊ rm

╭┈ 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 / 𝐩𝐨𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬 ✧. ┊ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘆, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗹𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘅, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗲 51. ' life is difficult, but you are loved. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @fuyuu-chan ) 52. ' sometimes i think you believe in me more than i do. ' 53. ' there is more love in this world than you could possibly imagine. ' 54. ' home isn’t always a place, is it? ' 55. ' often the hardest person to forgive is yourself. '

✧. ┊ 𝗼𝗺𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁 56. ' i shall pray that you may continue to exist somewhere, too. ' 57. ' will i ever get to meet you again? ' 58. ' i couldn't rage when i wanted to rage. i couldn't be sad when i wanted to grieve. ' 59. ' the hurt we inflicted on each other would not be erased. ' 60. ' even if you manage to save the world, you still won't be saved. '

✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗲 61. ' you must know, surely you must know, it was all for you. ' 62. ' we are all fools in love. ' 63. ' i am very sorry to have caused you pain. ' 64. ' you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you. ' 65. ' have a little compassion on my nerves. you tear them to pieces. '

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗮𝗯𝗲𝗹 66. ' we don’t get what we’re due, or what we’re owed, we only get what we get, and we can crumble and cry about it or we can make do. ' 67. ' if you ever saw good in me, it was only reflected from you. ' 68. ' i am not myself. i don’t think i’ve been my real self for a very long time. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @thomine ) 69. '  if you don’t come with me now, i can’t protect you. you have to leave it all behind, and i can keep you safe. i promise i will keep you safe. ' 70. ' you’ll remember, then, that i might have saved you, that i loved you enough to try. '

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶 71. ' your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself. ' ┊ oscar wilde 72. ' the gods have been good to you. but what the gods give, they quickly take away. ' ┊ oscar wilde 73. ' i love you and i missed you and i’m so very sorry. ' ┊ shuly xóchitl cawood 74. ' nothing this intense can ever last. even the brightest stars burn out. ' ┊ gwendolyn macewen 75. ' i will tell you this. there’s no need for you to break. ' ┊ r.m. drake

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶𝗶 76. ' i will share my life with you, for good or evil, until death comes. ' ┊ agatha christie 77. ' in the whole entire world, you are the only person, the only person i love or have ever loved. ' ┊ tony kushner 78. ' i almost do not exist now and i know it ; god knows what lives in me in place of me. ' ┊ fyodor dostoevsky ➺ CLAIMED ( @ex-tenebris ) 79. ' of course we will hurt each other. but this is the very condition of existence. ' ┊ antoine de saint-exupéry 80. ' i love you– i do– but i am afraid of making that love too important. because you’re always going to leave me. we can’t deny it. you’re always going to leave. ' ┊ david levithan ➺ CLAIMED ( @aimixx )

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶𝗶𝗶 81. ' don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are going to have it all. you are not. ' ┊ joyce brothers 82. ' i will love you tonight, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and still many more, so very many more tomorrows. ' ┊ vladimir nabokov ➺ CLAIMED ( @bloodandthestars ) 83. ' i’m a fool, but i’ll love you dear. ' ┊ bill trader` 84. ' it was nice to have you in my life while i did, good luck with everything that happens after now. ' ┊ iain thomas 85. ' you have broken down my defenses, and i don’t really resent it. ' ┊ vita sackville west ➺ CLAIMED ( @monocaelia )

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶𝘃 86. ' love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. ' ┊ james baldwin 87. ' i cannot stop you now. i cannot save you. ' ┊ amal el-mohtar & max gladstone 88. ' i love you. the most three difficult words in the world. but what else can i say? ' ┊ jeanette winterson 89. ' is there something you need? name it. it's yours. if i have it, it's yours. ' ┊ ali hazelwood 90. ' i swear i've been tender ; i've been tough when i needed to be. ' ┊ molly mccully brown

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝘃 91. ' your words are so softly spoken that no one can hear them except in deep silence. ' ┊ guigo II 92. ' tell me this will never ruin us ; god, tell me, please. ' ┊ michael wasson 93. ‘ which parts of you did you kill so you could be loved? ’ ┊ jody chan 94.' don't leave now. we have almost survived our lives. ' ┊ linda pastan 95. ' my rot is as hungry as me. & when god asks me about love, i always respond with cruelty. ' ┊ yves olade

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝘃𝗶 96. ' the truth is simple, you do not die from love. you only wish you did. ' ┊ erica jong 97. ' and i'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, i'd find you and i'd choose you. ' ┊ kierston white ➺ CLAIMED ( @mayaree-darling ) 98. ' i'm tired, can't think of a thing, and my sole wish is to lay my head in your lap, feel your hand on my head, and stay that way through all eternity. ' ┊ franz kafka ➺ CLAIMED ( @astrxealis ) 99. ' still, there is this terrible desire to be loved. still, there is this horror at being left behind. ' ┊ michael cunningham 100. ' i don't care, i love you anyhow. it is too late to turn you out of my heart. part of you lives here. ' ┊ anne sexton

questions? ready to send a message?

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ send one here!

[periwinklepromise]

im sorry if this is too personal a question, and you can feel free to not answer it if you don't want to. i saw the leaving the mormon church post, and how you said you were willing to answer questions.

did you ever have any family members who you still really love, but they left to go on a mission? how did you deal with that?

The post being referenced

You're all good! I don't mind at all. I've got two experiences with this sort of thing, one of which is currently happening.

Sister

My oldest sister went on a mission, but I was still very young, so it didn't impact me very much. Yes, I missed her, but her leaving for a mission was basically the same as her leaving for college, which she had already done (she went to BYU, of course, and we didn't live near Utah). I remember having to memorize and recite a scripture verse for her farewell, and I remember putting off my baptism for a month until she got back - at least, that was the official reason I gave for the delay; really, i just didn't want to get baptized. But her being gone was the easy part.

Her coming back was the hard part. She was so much older than me that we weren't very close, but I could still tell that she had changed. Visits used to mean fun trips and dance parties, and suddenly she was only talking about church and censoring all of our books - she went through every copy of Harry Potter with a Sharpie to cover every instance of Voldemort being called the Dark Lord, because "there's only one Lord." Any time a song said God or Lord, she made us sing alternate lyrics, because "you should only say those names with reverence." It was just annoying and weird.

And I'm sorry if you're asking for a hopeful story, because she never really went back to normal. Twenty years later, she's still all mormon, all the time. I mean, she could be worse - she still speaks to me, and I'm pretty sure she knows that I did officially resign my membership, and I know lots of people who were cut off from all contact with their mormon loved ones after resigning. But she teaches institute classes. She wants to get an advanced degree in mormon theology. This mormon stuff is her whole life, so it can be very hard to find things to talk about. And to be frank, she puts more effort than I do into maintaining the relationship. Despite leaving officially, I still have a hard time being around mormons, because the suspicion of "maybe they're just being nice to get their claws into me" still creeps into the back of my mind.

Parents

My only other experience with a mormon family member going on a mission is actually happening right now. Earlier this month, my parents got their mission call. They threw a big party to announce the details, which I Zoomed in for, because no way am I hanging out with mormons I am not related to. Being in the same space, listening to everyone cheer and congratulate, was bad enough.

They'll be gone for two years (this is uncommon or possibly rare for senior missionaries), and they were called specifically to reactivate inactive and less active members. For never mormons reading, that means they won't be trying to find new converts; they'll explicitly be approaching people who haven't gone to a mormon church in months or years, and trying to get those people to come back. I saw this post yesterday, warning inactive mormons that the so-called church was gonna be stepping up these efforts, and my parents' situation can certainly provide anecdotal evidence for that.

And I don't really know how I'm going to deal with this, to be honest with you. I don't think I'll write letters or send anything to my parents while they're gone. I just don't feel comfortable supporting them in this. And if my sister's experience is any indication, it will be impossible to be around them once they get back.

I've got a lot of doomy feelings about this mission, because I know my mother's faith will not be shaken, and I know my father is the most charming, charismatic person most people will ever meet. He's going to convince a lot of people to go back to church. I know he will. And as a someone who firmly believes the mormon church is a cult (or high control group, if you prefer), that breaks my heart. I know my parents are a total lost cause, but I don't want them hurting other people, and there's nothing I can really do to prevent that hurt.

But I can least talk about my experiences, and hope that helps someone!