#i mean seriously i have been through the fucking ringer and she has seen it.

[butchdykekondraki]

honestly wild i managed to even have someone as nice as my partner love me in the first place . wild

[ventruevitae]

Would Kat or Mitchell consider making their own Childer, or seriously taking on a protégé? :3

while i think it would be fun to answer yes the truthful answer is definitely more of a resounding Hell No lmao

kat's embrace was really goddamn traumatic, to say the least, & her sire did a fantastic job of making it worse for the better part of a decade before she broke away from him. apollonnio was legitimately fucked up even by ventrue standards & she suffered thoroughly for it. she also carries the guilt (whether justified or not) of knowing that her youngest sister would have dodged the lasombra if kat was never brought into the camarilla. she can't picture any kind of situation where she would willingly ruin someone's life in the same way, even if she also knows that she wouldn't treat any childe of hers like she was treated or even like she would be expected to by the camarilla standards of her clan.

even stripping all of THOSE reasons away, still a no lol. she's more or less raised 4 kids at this point after she had to step in for her deceased mother, so she'd be too prone to taking on too much responsibility for her childe & stressing herself out Way too much all the time. (ironically in life, she actually did want children of her own, but that dream's been completely destroyed & it's definitely a no-go area in conversation.) on the flip side, the fact that she's so used to taking on that type of role means that a lot of fledglings (especially new ventrue runaways) are drawn to her. she'll huff and pretend to be more bothered by it than she actually is, but honestly? she's also the person who ends up being the quickest to help in a bad situation. she's great at stepping up for anyone (outside of herself, but shh), definitely not a bad choice if you're looking for someone to fill a bit of your sire-less void. she'd never actually seriously mentor someone 1:1, though--again, it's the trauma. she's pretty hard-pressed to let herself get attached to anyone these days, knowing how badly losing people has fucked her up before (& she's really only started to heal from that, 50 years later) so aside from a select few kindred, she tries to maintain a bit of a personal distance. is this always effective? not... exactly. more of a placebo effect if anything, but she at least feels like she's doing something to protect her heart.

mitchell is a bit of a grey area here? her biggest strike is that she's just really not all that interested. if we're comparing experiences, mitchell comes out the winner purely because her sire got executed before she even got to know him (she thinks he might have sold her some drugs, but that doesn't mean much of anything). she doesn't have the hangups but also can't really picture a situation she would feel compelled to do it in. she doesn't even feel all that bad if she accidentally takes too much blood during a feeding tbh. out of her two most frequently seen partners, vv hasn't sired anyone (that she's aware of), and beckett's choice of a vampire hunter was... a questionable decision at its absolute best (she thinks he was dumb as hell for that one, actually, and it doesn't really matter what either he or even anatole might have to say about it--although, anatole might actually be on her side here?).

even when heather was around, the motivation to embrace her just wasn't there. it might have something to do with being put through the ringer for the first few weeks mitchell spent as kindred, or she might also just not want the responsibility. as detached as she is, she does think it's a little bit objectively shitty for your sire to just leave you on purpose, particularly for malkavians. tbh if she didn't get to know anatole through beckett, she'd probably feel significantly more lost than she does, & that's not really a relationship she would compare to a stand-in sire.

anyway, she's a hard Maybe. she doesn't have some big painful reason why she's avoiding it, & who knows? she might just meet the right person at the right time who would handle it well.

[dauntingdarling]

In Defense of the Weeping Monk

So during my first ramped scrolling of Weeping Monk content post-completion of the series, I came across a number of people against the Weeping Monk not just for this storyline but because of how people have been quick to obsess over him and ship Nimulot.

In particular, calling the Nimulot ship racist or homophobic, his character a predator, and those shipping him with anyone toxic. While these points are valid and come from a place (I would assume) of good intentions (anti-homophobia, anti-racist, protect the children etc.) they are strong accusations that should not be linked to this character. And here’s why:

Racism:

-I’m going to be blunt here. Seeing as Racism isn’t a joke, it shouldn’t be thrown around as an excuse not to like WM just because said character didn’t end up with a person of color. If you don’t like him, you don’t like him. Don’t blanket cover your reasoning with a serious accusation that even today is still running rampid and needs to be taken seriously in today’s society (see George Floyd)

-It would be one thing to call out a show if they were expressing Racist undertones, but Cursed hasn't. Two of the most powerful characters in King Arthur lore are played by wonderful actors of color (Arthur and sister Morgana) and should this show continue, we will see the pair of them raise in the ranks of power for both good (King Arthur) and evil (Morgan le fay). 

-People are stating that WM should have been black, as we’ve had more than enough white edgy boys out in shows and movies (see Winter Solider, Kylo Ren/Ben solo...) I’m not against the idea of a black or someone other than white actor portraying WM. That’s not my fight. My fight is over disliking Daniel Sharman’s casting because of his race rather than his acting skill. The guy plays WM fantastically and shouldn’t be docked points just because he’s a white British guy. Like... come on. 

-I could go on, but we have more topics to cover so I’ll close this part with this: keep up the good fight to end Racism, but don’t use it to elevate your own ship/actor profile/ etc. 

Throwing around this topic to benefit your own belief (more than just in media) is what makes people degrade racism in the first place. Don’t be that person.

Homophobia: 

-WHY WOULD SHIPPING NIMULOT BE HOMOPHOBIC? WHY

-I would have thought this show already established that they were not homophobic seen by the great response Nimue gave to Morgana after spotting the scene above^. She normalized their relationship as any other and that was beautiful *chef’s kiss* 

-Back to WM, from what I read on the topic from a person with this view, they stated that because people are shipping Nimulot over Nimue and Morgana (I’m sorry I don’t know their ship name), they are homophobic? WHAT

-Dude that’s great that you saw the fantastic chemistry between Morgana and Nimue, but do you really want Nimue to bed both siblings like that? 

-What I just stated isn’t my real fight on the topic, it’s just something I just thought of as I am here typing away. My fight here is just because Nimue hasn't entertained the possibility of a romantic relationship with Morgana doesn’t mean those shipping Nimue and WM together are homophobic. We just are ex-reylo trash (as I’m noticing so far) and love the enemies to lovers trop. 

-Also I am pretty sure that those shipping Nimulot adore the relationship Nimue has with Morgana as they give off major feminism vibes. And have a healthy relationship overall. 

Which brings me to my next point:

Toxic Shipping:

-No one is stating that WM should hook up with Nimue immediately. And if they are, take notes. WM still needs to grow from the horrors he has done in the past and what he has ahead of him. Only then would he be deserving of Nimue (should she take him)

-I honestly believe people are not shipping Nimulot because it’s toxic, but rather because they hope that WM will come around on the other side as a better man (for he has been through the ringer) and should find peace. With Nimue? Sure, if the storyline fits. 

-I’ve read that some don’t want Nimue to be the fixer upper of WM, and I agree, but do not find this statement to be enough to call the Nimue ship toxic by any means. We just want to see everyone happy, is that so bad? 

-And after growing up idolizing the major character arch of Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender, I can’t help but hope (as the optimist that I am) that WM will get a similar ending to Zuko. 

-As for why people want Nimue with him and not, say Gwenevere, it is because of all the similarities they carry so far that complement each other (while also playing the opposites attract card). Similarities include:

cursed out fay (N- the villagers scorning her, WM- the monks attitude toward him as a weapon and not a being)

lingering on the edge of dark and light (N with the cursed sword, WM with his faith)

scars (that happen to be on their backs)

their relationship with Squirrel (both protective, not smothering)

Symbols of their side in war (WM is the monk’s best fighter, N is their queen)

I’m sure people can give you more reasons. This is just what I came up with on the spot after one watch through of the series. If you have others, please write them below, I’m curious. 

Now onto the topic that I find to be atrocious: 

Predator: 

-EXCUSE ME, a predator prays on others. How on God’s green earth is WM that? He was a literal sword for hire/raised to fight against his kind through mental strain from this messed up ideology of christianity. 

-And for those calling his relationship with Squirrel unhealthy... fair point but I’m not done yet. 

-I don’t mean all this to say that what he did under the red monks was good or even acceptable. No it wasn’t, the dude was practicing mass genocide of his own race, that’s fucked up. (That torture scene in front of the mill was really something)

-But as we learn in later episodes, all of his actions linger on not being damed and going to heaven (I assume) as seen in the scene when we got a nice look of him shirtless while he was having a moral crisis.

-Speaking of moral crisis, did you notice that he had one when the rest of the villains present in this show do not? Even Iris (a fantastic villain) had a tragic backstory with her family like WM, but rather than question her motives, she starts on the villain path. 

-Now while I do admit he doesn’t treat Squirrel right in the beginning, it makes sense for his character and where he is at. Not to say that hurting a child and using him as a pawn to kill leftover tribe members is justified. 

-But the writers always wrote the interactions between Squirrel and WM with a hint of humor. Squirrel was always talking back, calling WM and his horse ugly, and even hissing out “you” in front of the red monks. All this going on while WM maintains a blank expression, that to viewers is almost comical (because it breaks away from the sad emo boy cliche) 

-In the end, WM needed someone like Squirrel to get out of the disastrous rut the red monks had WM in. For WM to start on this journey of his (that I’m sure will continue through season 2) he needed to show he had a moral code. 

-Also, like many complicated characters, WM never thought through the damage he has done and how his work impacted children up until G called him out for it. For this reason, I think G had just as much a part of getting WM to revolt as Squirrel did. 

- I think his relationship with Squirrel will continue to grow into a more protective association now that G is dead. G made Squirrel into a knight, the next step is for this kid to train like one. Who better than Mr. Lancelot himself. (They better have a training scene in next season or I will riot)

-And lastly, all of you who know the lore of Lancelot understand that he will become the best of the best and also the most loyal and chivalrous knight out there. What a better way to love a character with these attributes than if he started in the proverbial gutter and grows to understand and value these characteristics?  It’s the shiny ending that he needs to work hard to achieve and that is what, at the end of the day, all lovers of WM want to see in the next few seasons. 

Him becoming that knight in shining armor.

[babeyvenus]

The Wolf Among Us

Bigby x OC

Summary: Sonya Blaze, A.K.A. Hell Rider, is a half fable, half mundy girl who comes to Fabletown to learn more about her side of the folktales. She works alongside Sheriff Bigby Wolf's as his newest partner and together they strive to find out who's behind the unexpected murders in Fabletown.

TW: Mentions of death, gore/blood, alcohol, drugs, sex implications, suicide, guns and ofc language.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Chapter 3: Rough Night

After the ruckus with the Woodsman, we went back to the Woodlands. “You have a key to your place?”, he asks. I nod, “Yeah”. He looked at me in disbelief. “How’d you manage to get that door open? I couldn’t get in without almost breaking the handle.” I chuckle. “Well, it took a few tries until I lifted the door a little and gave it a little kick. A little.”, I emphasized.

He rubbed behind his neck. “I guess you’re a little gentler than I am.” I smile. “You’ll get there.” We walked up to the entrance of the Woodlands, him holding the door open for me as I walked in. We both paused to hear rustling leaves behind a tree. Bigby crossed his arms. “Don’t make me come over there.”

A woman comes from behind a tree timidly. Bigby lowered his arms. “Beauty.” This is Beauty? From Beauty and The Beast? She’s a lot different than Disney’s version….

“Hello Bigby. And…?”, she greeted, before seeing me. I wave, giving her smile. “Sonya.” She smiles at me. “Its a little late to be out here.”, Bigby says. She stepped off of the grass. “I know it looks a little odd, but I’ve got an explanation for this.” Bigby sighs. “Okay.” She steps away timidly. “Just don’t tell Beast you saw me. Its not what you think it is, I’m just working.”

This late…? “Sure…”, Bigby says. Beauty nodded and slipped out of the entrance. Bigby sighs heavily and walks to the building. I followed behind, taking note of the sleeping doorman. “Very hardworking, Grimble.”, I mutter. Of course he wouldn’t have heard me. We walked to the elevators, ready to get upstairs until another person stopped us.

“Bigby, have you seen my wife? Have you seen Beauty?”, the man asks. That’s Beast!? What’s going on between them….? Bigby shook his head. “We haven’t seen her.” Beast huffs. “Dammit! There’s something going on…”

Bigby quickly pushes the close doors button, making the doors shut and lift the elevator. “I gotta Swineheart to do a check up on you.”, he says. I look at him in confusion. “Why? I’m fine.”

He pokes my side, making me wince and hold my side. “Sure…”, he mutters, crossing his arms again. The elevator opens and he walks out. “Let’s go.” He leads me to my apartment and waits for me. I unlock the door and show him how to open it. I pause. Why am I showing him? I glance at him and he looks at me. “What?”

I shake my head, letting out a soft sigh. “Nothing. Just don’t make fun of my place. I don’t have much. Yet.” I open the door and turn on the lights, the brightness making my eyes squint. He looked around and closed the door. “Huh. Looks no different than my place. Aside from the fact it looks cleaner and smells cleaner.”

I looked at him. “You really do have the smallest apartment, don’t you?” He looked at me with an eyebrow raised. “What, you thought it was a joke?”, he asks, walking over to my couch and sits down.

“I mean...I just think its kinda unfair to give you the smallest apartment since,” I gestured to him. “Y’know…” He leaned up a bit, placing his arms on his knees with an amused expression. “No, I don’t know. Since I’m now intrigued by your concern, what do you mean?”

I narrowed my eyes at him for a bit. “Now, I don’t wanna tell. Aren’t you supposed to be calling this Swineheart guy?” He perked up at that. “I forgot.” He looked around. “You don’t have a phone here?” I walked over to my lamp table and pulled my phone from my bag. “I kinda figured I wouldn’t need it while we were out since you guys don’t use cellphones nor know how they work. Just give me his number.”

Bigby told me his Swineheart’s number and I handed him my phone. He took it and held it to his ear, giving Swineheart my address. Moments later, we heard a knock on my door. Bigby went to answer it and greeted a grey haired man. “This is Dr. Swineheart. He’s Fabletown’s physician.”

I got up to greet him and he gave me a tired smile. “Its nice to meet you. Now, what’s the problem?”I rubbed my side. “We kinda fought the Woodsman and I’m sore.” Bigby rolled his eyes, sitting on my couch. “He broke her ribs. I heard it.”

I frowned at his snitching. Swineheart hummed. “Can I take a look?” I hesitantly lifted my shirt to show him the damage. It was a dark bruise showing, not too big but big enough to catch anyone’s eye. He sighed. “They’re definitely broken.”, Swineheart says, making Bigby huff in satisfaction. I turned to glare at him, but he was facing a window with his chin propped in his palm.

I faced Swineheart, shaking my head as he let out an amused snort. “I can give you a medicinal patch to get rid of the bruise and heal your ribs from the inside since you’re half mundy.” I look at him with curious eyes. “You know?” He nods. “I suspected as much considering there shouldn’t be any mundies here but you survived an attack that would’ve killed you and you have no idea who I am, so it wasn’t all that hard to piece together.”

He reaches into his bag and hands me a patch. I took off the plastic wrap and gently stuck it to my side. “Alright. Now, in a few minutes, you should feel a little tingling and it should be working to heal you.”, Swineheart says. I nodded. “Thanks Doc.” He smiles, gives us both a nod before leaving.

I sigh and turn to Bigby. “What about you? Didn’t you need a check up?” He looks at me. “I called him for you, not me.”, he says and gets up. He places a hand on my shoulder. “Just make sure to get some rest. I’ll check on you later.” With that, he leaves. I take his advice and sway over to my couch. Laying down, I snuggle into the cushions and close my eyes.

Bigby’s POV

After leaving Sonya’s place, I went to mine, ready to just sleep in my chair. Hopefully Colin isn’t in it. I walked in the door and went to the kitchen to clean my face before taking my phone off of the ringer. I need some peace…

I opened a window to get fresh air in the place before walking over to my chair. To my disappointment, I saw the pig in my chair, knocked out. I nudged him awake. He yawns, “Oh, hey, Bigby.” I stared at him with a frown. “I’m in your chair, aren’t I?”, he asks. “Its the only one here.”, I tell him. He waddles out of the chair and sits across from me. I sit in with a huff and pull out my cigarettes, tapping the bottom and popping one in my mouth.

“Got a smoke?”, I hear Colin ask before looking at him. I sighed through my nose and lit the cigarette. Before I got up, I took a drag before blowing it out and handing it to him. I sat back in my seat, sighing out my drag. “Thanks, Bigby. A couple more thousand of these and you’’l be out of debt.”

I rubbed my eyes. “This has to stop. You cannot be sneaking off the Farm like this.”, I say. He didn’t like that. “The fresh air and sunshine pitch they sell you is complete bullshit. I didn’t escape the Homelands just to end up in some prison, okay? Don’t send me back there, Bigby. You don’t know what its like over there.”, Colin says, as I get up to get some bourbon. “That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”, I ask, pouring the drink in the cup.

“That for me?”, he asked once I brought the cup to my lips. “Nope.”, I say, walking out of the kitchen. “I’m just saying, the house didn’t blow itself down. Do with that what you will.Now I’m not saying it’s reason enough for me to have definitely been offered a drink, but…uh….it would have helped ease some of the pain you once caused me, yes. It also would have shown everyone how different you are now.”, he says and I take a sip. “I take it all back. This is why everyone hates you.”, he says. I pause and turn to him. “So, everyone hates me?” He smirked. “No, I’m just shittting you.”

I roll my eyes and go back to my chair. “No, hate’s the wrong word. Its more of fear. They fear you more than anything. You did eat a lot of people back in your day.” I shake my head. “I thought we were all supposed to have a fresh start here. I can’t change the past.”

“Well, you can’t change people’s memories either.”, Colin says, as we sit down. I frown at him. “Look, I’m not saying its fair, but its real. People are scared of you. Look at your knuckles.” I looked down to see my knuckles reddened and bruised. “Who’d you get into a fight with? A fable, right? There’s no way you’re punching Mundies.”

“I was actually doing my job, believe it or not.”, I say. Colin frowns in disbelief. “Your job is to beat the shit out of fables?” When they get out of line, yes.

I stayed quiet. “Fuck you.”, Colin muttered. I sighed harshly. “You think my job is easy? You try keeping a bunch of fables from killing each other. How do you think this all works?” Colin rolled his eyes. “I dunno. How?”

I relaxed in my seat. “By being big and being bad.” Colin cringed. “By being biggg and being baddd. Don’t say that shit. Its embarrassing.” I blink at him and take a sip again, trying to tune him out.

“That’s the attitude that gets you in trouble. I’m sure you were shitty to everyone you came across tonight.” said Colin.

“Not everyone.” I mutter with my lips on the cup. This intrigued Colin. “Name one.” I hum. “I’ve got a new partner, she doesn’t seem to hate me. And this other girl we met tonight… I don’t actually know her name.”

“Awesome. Great example.” said Colin, sarcastically. I prop my chin in my hand, now irritated. “Life is easier with friends, Bigby, and we live a long fuckin’ time. This whole lone wolf thing isn’t working, I mean, I’ve seen the way you look at Snow, okay? You’re not fooling me.”

I looked down at my lap. Its true that I do care about Snow but...I think she cares more about her job than anything. I sigh softly. “Colin, seriously, can I just get some time to rest?”

“Well, maybe if my throat wasn’t so parched I wouldn’t have to keep talking.”, Colin replies. I gave him an incredulous look. “That doesn’t make sense-”

“Just give me the drink, please?”, Colin exasperatedly begged. I rubbed my face, “Colin, enough already. I haven’t slept in two days. I went out a second story window and I just wanna get two seconds of shut eye before-”

He gave me the saddest look he could muster up. I looked at my drink then back at him. “Look, if I give you this, will you please let me sleep?” He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, alright. Probably.”

I sighed, getting up and handed him the cup. He smiles. “Thanks Bigby.” I say nothing and get back in my seat, laying my head back and closed my eyes.

Sonya’s POV

I woke up abruptly to the sound of loud knocking. I wiped my face and walked up to my door to cuss whoever is here this late. I opened the door, glaring at-

“Snow? What the hell?”, I groaned, rubbing my eyes. “I’m sorry, but you have to come with me.”, she says, looking fidgety. “Alright.”, she takes off and I put my shoes on. I leave my place, closing my door and seeing her and Bigby walk towards me.

He looks at me in confusion. “You slept okay?” I grumble. “I slept dandy.” He shakes his head. “I can tell. Your hair tells it all.”, he says, leaving me to pull out my phone and look at my hair. My cheeks burn as I fix it and catch up to them.

We exited the Woodlands, our eyes catching onto a security guard jacket splayed out on the ground. I frowned at Snow. “Please don’t tell me you brought us out here to show us a small dead animal that you could’ve gotten Grimble to bury. I don’t wanna see that.”

She looked at me with a frown. “Of course not. Its worse.” I crossed my arms. “How bad is it?” Bigby went over to the jacket and pulled up. His eyes widened and glanced at me. “What?”, I asked, walking over to him as he pulled the jacket back to reveal a decapitated head.

My heart dropped to my stomach as I saw the girl from earlier. We just saved her. We just talked to her…. “W-What the hell…?”, I whispered in shock. I gagged a bit, looking at her dead expression. I dropped down next to Bigby as he looked away. “I assume you two know her.”, Snow says.

“Barely caught her name.”, Bigby says. “She’s a working girl.” Snow looked at him in confusion. “I’m a working girl. I don’t,” I look at her with a frown. She looked back at me, realization coming to her face. “Oh…”

I couldn’t help but stare into the girl’s dead eyes. I couldn’t get anything. Last moments...nothing. I let out a shaky breath and covered my face. “We saved her today. The Woodsman was beating on her.”

“Who found her…?”, I asked. Snow responded, “I did.” I brought my hands down and looked at the girl again. “She was just like this. I didn’t touch her. I grabbed Grimble’s jacket to cover her with, then… I came to get you two right away.” Snow explained.

“No one else came?” I asked. She shook her head. “Bigby, Sonya, did one of us…do this?”

“There hasn’t been a murder in Fabletown in a long time…” Bigby says, looking at her. I sighed. “Then we shouldn’t cause a panic yet. We can’t let anyone know. Not yet…”, I say.

I heard Bigby grunt softly as he got up. I look up to see him holding a ribbon. “This was hers.”, he says, frowning and analyzing it. I looked back at her and gently closed her eyes. “We should look for clues.”, I say, walking away. I walked over to the left side of the gate, not seeing anything. Maybe whoever came here came over and dropped her head off.

They’d look crazy to come to the front and drop it off. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to get her face out of my head. I looked over to see Bigby crouching by Snow. I raised an eyebrow, walking over to them. “What’re you doing?”

He looks up at me and shows me a piece of blue fabric. I looked at Snow since she was the only one with blue fabric. She shrugged and I shook my head.

“We should move her. No one else needs to see this.”, I say, walking over to the head and covered her up before picking her up and holding her with care. “You don’t have to do that.”, Bigby says, looking at me with concern.

“Its okay. We need to figure out what happened. I just-”, I shake my head. “I should’ve known something was wrong. Wherever she worked seemed to be treating her horribly. I should’ve asked more questions.”

He walked over to me. “You cannot blame yourself for this. You saw how she barely answered our questions from the beginning.”

He’s right but...how could it even get this bad…? “I’ve gotta tell Crane about this.”, Snow says. “How do you think he’s gonna take this…?”, I asked her. “He may be upset. Since he is Deputy Mayor, this has to be announced to him.”, she says. Bigby grumbled. “I guess it’d be a pain if we kept it from him.”

“Hopefully he won't be too upset.”, I say. Bigby shakes his head. “Don’t hold your breath.”

He turns to me, “Let me take this to Swineheart. You go on in with Snow.” I reluctantly gave him the head and he takes it, giving me a soft smile and nods his head toward Snow. I left him alone with the head, and followed Snow.

As Snow and I walked inside the Woodlands, she smiles at me. “You seem to be getting along with him just fine.” I look at her in confusion. “Was he supposed to be a hard person to get along with?”

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “He can be a little difficult. And not everyone here gets along with him well because of his past.” I frowned. “I thought the whole point of being here was for everyone to have a fresh start and live among society. Why are they still bugging him?”

She shrugs. “I don’t exactly have an answer for that just yet.” I shake my head and walk to the elevator. “I’ll be back down after I freshen up. I feel gross.”, I say before the elevator doors close and take me to my apartment.

After washing up, I put on my red sleeveless turtleneck and black pants before putting my shoes on and leaving. As I get down to the lobby, I see Bigby talking to someone and I walk up. He notices me and holds the door open. “You’ve gotta be shitting me. I stand here for almost a whole hour and she gets to go in!?”, a black haired man with one blind eye growls.

Bigby looks at him annoyed. “We work here.”, he says, putting his hand on my shoulder and starts to lead me inside. I walk inside, letting him deal with the guy and hear Crane fussing at Snow. “Lord…”, I mutter, rolling my eyes. I knew he wasn’t a good boss.

“And now you’re telling me there’s a killer on the loose while you all titter behind my back!?”, Crane yells. “We didn’t know it was gonna happen! Why’re you fussing!?”, I exclaim.

“Because you two are the ones bringing this to me! The ones who so simply “stumbled” upon this catastrophe on our very doorstep! The last thing I need with Mayor Cole away is a hysteria, do you two understand me!?”, he yells in our face. “Of course, but-”, Snow starts.

“Do not interrupt me, Ms. Snow!”

“The f- you asked us a question!”, I yell in disbelief with his behavior. “Don’t change the subject! You two are to blame for this unpleasantness, Miss Sonya!”, he shouted. I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“We brought you this news as soon as we could!” Snow replies tiredly. “You are trusted to keep things running smoothly here! This is a disaster!” Crane rambles. “Who else is to blame, if not either of you?”

“It isn’t anyone’s fault.” Bigby declares. “Instead of trying to assign blame, maybe we figure out how to catch the fucker who did this.”

“Oh, is that how you see things? Sheriff, you, Ms. Snow and Miss Sonya are the ones in charge of protecting Fabletown. Your failure to do so has cost someone their life and the safety of our community.”, Crane says, walking over to his desk and sits in his chair. How’d someone like him even get a position as Deputy?

I rub my temples. “Tell me you’ve been doing something! Are there any leads? Suspects? Anything? Anything at all? Any shred of evidence you three know what the hell you’re doing?” Crane asked.

Bigby walked up to us and crossed his arms. “Her pimp is a suggestion.” I shrugged. “So is the Woodsman.”

“Her…was she a…?"

"She needed money and we didn’t have enough to give her…”, I say. “Well isn’t that just wonderful. Not only was a Fable killed, but it was a Fable hooker to boot!” Crane said, sarcastically.

“You three need to get a handle on this quickly, and quietly. The last thing we need is all of Fabletown knowing there’s a killer amongst us.” Crane shut his eyes for a bit, then opened them to look at Snow.

“Snow!”

“Yes…sir?” Snow asked. “Call Vivian right this moment and let her know I’m coming in early for my...massage.” Crane demands. I looked at Bigby with slight disgust and confusion. He shakes his head.

“I will.” She complies.

Crane looks around his desk. “Where is the bottle of wine you were to purchase?” Snow looks at him in confusion. “Oh, bother! Forget it! Can’t do anything right.” Crane mutters, walking past me.

I glared at Crane as he walked to the door of the office. “Do your job, Sheriff and Deputy….Or we’ll find someone who can.” He said. Bigby growls lowly, turns around and says. “You know what…”

I give him a pinch. “Stop.”

Crane turns to face us. Snow walks up and gives him a smile. “We’ll get right on it, sir.” Crane turns back and walks out of the office. Bigby sighs with a grumble.

[cupcakemolotov]

Victoria plots and schemes, and her plans all work so that in any scenario, she wins. The House survives. She's such a wonderful nuanced character. And isn't it interesting we've yet to see her interact with the Baylors as a whole, her interactions with her granddaughters have all been one-on-one, and Nevada and Catalina have seen different facets of her character. The impressions they drew aren't wrong but they're not entirely all right either.

I agree with this. We have only seen a very small part of Victoria, and through very different lenses. I am so very interested to see what they decide to do with her!

The thing about first person, is everyone is an unreliable narrator. I think the grandpa in the scene is Linus, because he's the only older male character we've been introduced to. But I don't think he necessarily is their grandpa. I think grandpa was just a catch-all term to convey - "huh, older male with a weird relationship to the Baylors and Victoria, makes sense he would be a blood relative". Whether or not Arabella believes he is their biological grandfather is another matter too.

So the twin and I had a pretty big debate about Linus = Grandpa and it COULD be. And it wouldn’t surprise me at all, with the tiny hints that they keep giving us about Linus and Victoria, and we already know that Arabella is cheeky. And neither he nor Victoria would want Catalina to know that they are working that closely together, as I am certain they are both putting her through the ringer as a bunch of tests. Its a dangerous game they are playing with Catalina, because they could very easily alienate her completely. So if Linus is the Granpa, that means they are very definitely giving her the Good Cop/Bad Cop Treament (and honestly, I still don’t trust Linus at all.)  Or this could be the entry point for another character. They are really good at pulling threads I sometimes don’t see coming (I did not expect Xavier the little shit to be the villain in book 3,  but I am delighted she is going to get to kick the shit out of him. Seriously. He has no idea what she is and I fucking love that).

"Is Victoria the main bad guy in the end? I don’t think so. I think she is a dangerous, dangerous  knife the Baylor family has to contend with until she dies, and for her emotional scares are learning opportunities that will make her house stronger." 100% agree with this. She's teaching Catalina how to prepare for every situation and how to come out on top. And look how well Catalina is doing, already prepared to use Aunt Gisela as the sacrificial chess piece if it comes down to it.

But as outlined in EB, Catalina hasn't crossed the stage where she would preemptively eliminate possible threats. She's monitoring and making plans that she can live with. Not right now, but maybe one day Catalina can live with killing her aunt (or other threats that arise) if it means her family is safe. I don't think that change in mindset will necessarily even occur as a result of something tragic happening, just the natural progress of being Head of the House and a Prime.

Look at Catalina examining the scene the way she had been trained to do so and disregarding it because that isn’t who she is in that moment. I was actually so happy they put that scene in, because it showed us the backbone of Catalina in ways we don’t otherwise see. Here, they said, is what Grandma Tremaine has trained her to do, how she has taught her to eliminate threats (see also: how Augustine expected Nevada to eliminate him previously “I’m only alive because you haven’t learned to eliminate threats”) and here is Catalina rejecting that. Yes, she can become her grandmother’s creature, she can be that kind of ruthless, but she doesn’t want to do so she is making the harder decisions not to be.

I think those three rules of her dad’s come into very interesting play when you think about it. He too had suffered through Victoria’s terribleness, and those are the three things he decided here most important above all. Stay Bought. Don’t Break the Law. Be able to look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day. I don’t know if these rules were deliberately put down to counter everything that Victoria had tried to teach him,  but they are the backbone of his kid’s  lives, and they have been the rope that has kept them all from sinking beneath the weight of the House Rules I think. And I actually really love it, that in some way Victoria’s son continues to thwart her plans from the grave by simply being a good, kind man who understood on so many levels the awful that came from a house. And he had to know what his kids were, so he did the only thing he could do. He gave them a moral foundation to stand on.

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

BTS Reaction: The members ask if their s.o is pregnant and they’re actually not

Namjoon

Namjoon asks you if you are pregnant and he can tell by the look on your face that he made a huge mistake. 

“No, Namjoon I’m not. Have I really gained that much weight recently?” He rushes over to you and tries to hug you but you hold your arms up gesturing for him to stay away from you.

“Y/n I’m sorry.. I didn’t.. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad or anything you’re beautiful and you know I love you so much don’t you?” He can see the tears start to well up in your eyes. You turn around and lock yourself in the bedroom. He feels terrible. You hear him knocking softly on the door.

“Y/n I’m so sorry please let me in. I didn’t mean to make you feel insecure. I love your body and I love you.” He hears the lock click and he opens the door and is met your tear stained face. 

“I know you didn’t mean to offend me Namjoon. I know I’ve gained weight recently and I’ve been trying to lose it but..I guess I wasn’t trying hard enough.” He presses a kiss to your lips.

“Y/n you don’t need to lose weight. You’re perfect just the way you are. But if you really want to then please do it safely.”

Jin

You and Jin are hanging out with all the members. You are in a particularly unpleasant mood from all of the stress you have been under due to your schooling and working. Jin has been trying to make you laugh all night and all he’s gotten out of you is a smirk at best. He’s starting to get annoyed.

“You’ve been in such a mood today y/n are you pregnant or something?” You literally cannot believe what just came out of his mouth and neither can the other members as they all get quiet and stare at him. You don’t say anything, you just get up and storm out of their dorms slamming the door behind you. 

“Oh shit. I fucked up didn’t I?” Jimin scoffs at him. 

“You think? You know how much stress she has been under lately why would you even say that to her? You better go apologize!” Jin is already up and running after you.

“Y/n! Wait I’m sorry please I didn’t mean that.” He reaches for your hand but you tug your arm away from him. 

“Don’t touch me Jin. I’ll just go home since you seem to want nothing to do with my ‘mood’. Did it ever even occur for you to ask me what was wrong before you decided to embarrass me in front of everyone?” 

“Y/n I’m really sorry. Please you have to believe me I didn’t mean what I said I was just frustrated. I love you and I want to help you. Please.” This time when he reaches for your hand you don’t pull away. 

“Fine. But if you ever say anything like that to me again we’re done.”

Yoongi

You showed up to the dorms to have dinner with Yoongi and the rest of the guys. When you walked through the door Yoongi gave you a tight hug and lead you to your seat. You hadn’t ate all day and were starving so you loaded up your plate with as much food that would fit on it.

“Wow, hyung did you get y/n pregnant or something I don’t think I’ve ever seen her eat this much before.” Jungkook hadn’t meant it to be offensive, he was just trying to make a joke because you did rarely eat in front of them. When he saw the hurt look on your face and the pure anger in Yoongi’s he realized he should have kept his mouth shut.

“What the fuck Jungkook seriously? Why would you say that to my girlfriend?”

“I didn’t.. I mean y/n I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be offensive I just. God I’m an idiot.”

“Damn right you fucking are.” Yoongi grabs your hand and leads you out of the living room and into his own room. 

“You okay y/n? Please tell me you aren’t going to take what he said to heart.” 

“No Yoongi. It was just hurtful you know? You don’t think I’m overweight or eating too much do you?”

“Of course not. You look absolutely beautiful. Perfect in every way. And I’ll spend every day trying to show you that and make you forget about what he said if I have to.”

Hoseok

“Um. Jagi please don’t be offended. Actually I don’t know how I can ask you this without you getting offended so never mind forget I said anything.” He goes to walk away but you grip his hand tightly and pull him back down next to you.

“What’s up Hobi?”

“It’s just.. well you’ve been really moody lately. And I noticed you’ve been wearing more loose fitting clothing. Are you ya know.. pregnant or something?”

“..No Hoseok I’m not.” He can tell your upset because you called him by his real name, and not a cute nickname. 

“I’m sorry y/n I knew I just should have kept my mouth shut. Please don’t be angry with me.”

“I’m not angry... just upset. I’ve been wearing baggier clothes and I’ve been moody because I have gained weight recently and I feel terrible about myself so I’ve been trying to hide my body.” His face falls at your words and now he feels like the biggest asshole in the world.

“Y/n I’m so sorry. You look gorgeous though I haven’t even noticed you gained any weight. I didn’t mean to offend you.” You give him a small smile.

“It’s okay Hobi. I know you didn’t mean to upset me. But maybe don’t ask me anything like that again? Trust me if I am pregnant you will be the first to know because I will literally be screaming.”

Jimin

Jimin knows that you’ve been insecure lately about your weight gain. You confided in him and told him yourself. He offered to make sure you dieted safely, he didn’t want you to do the same things he did to drastically lose so much weight. So when the other members came to visit and Jin asked if you were pregnant he was livid. He could see the tears starting to form in your eyes as you ran up from the couch and slammed the bathroom door behind you. Jimin gave Jin a murderous gaze. 

“I’m literally going to kill you hyung. Hey Siri, where’s a good place to hide a dead body?”

“Jimin I’m sorry I didn’t-” Jimin waves his hand to dismiss him as he gets up and goes after you. He knocks on the bathroom door and opens it slowly to see you sat on the floor with your head buried in your knees.

“Oh, baby come here.” He sits on the floor with you and pulls you into his lap cradling you against him. 

“I need to eat less Jimin. I’m obviously not restricting enough calories if your members seem to think I’m pregnant.” He gently shushes you as he continues to run his ringers through your hair.

“Jin’s an idiot y/n. You don’t look pregnant. You look beautiful. And you’re losing weight safely. It’s going to take longer but I don’t want you doing anything that could jeopardize your health you hear me?” You pull away and look at him.

“Okay Jimin. Do you honestly think I look good though? I mean really, be honest.” 

“Of course I do. You’re the sexiest woman I have ever laid eyes on. Maybe I should kick everyone out so I can show you just how gorgeous I think you are?”

Taehyung

You can overhear Taehyung talking in the living room. You had been asleep until his voice woke you up. You padded over to the door to open it and throw yourself into your boyfriend’s arms until you overheard his conversation.

“I don’t know hyung. I just think y/n might be pregnant. How do I know that? Well, she’s been wearing baggy clothes lately, she’s been eating more and has seemed like she is just tired all the time.”

You crawled back into bed and pulled the covers over your head, immediately feeling insecure. You can’t help but start crying and Taehyung hears your whimpers and sniffles through the door.

“I gotta go Namjoon.” He opens the door and you bury yourself into the covers further.

“Y/n? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He curls into bed with you and tries to wrap his arms around you but you move yourself away from him closer to the wall.

“Do you really think I look that awful Tae?” 

“What? Of course not I think you’re so so gorgeous and adorable. Why would you ask me that?” 

“I overheard you talking to Namjoon..” He pries the covers away from your head and is staring at you with his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Honey, no. I didn’t mean to make you insecure. I’m so sorry.” He peppers kisses all over your face and after every kiss he’s complementing you. He tells you your beautiful, that he loves you and your body, that he thinks you’re sexy as hell and can’t wait to show you just how much.

Jungkook

You receive a text message on your phone from one of your friends back home. You had just gotten back from spending the weekend with them and were now wrapped comfortably in your boyfriends arms as he was snoring behind you. 

Hey y/n. I meant to ask you while you were here but I didn’t want to offend you.. Are you pregnant? You can tell me. I promise I won’t say anything to Jungkook. 

You throw your phone across the room and the loud thunk of it hitting the wall made Jungkook stir behind you.

“Baby? What was that?” He picks his head up and sees your discarded phone laying on the floor.

“It’s nothing Jungkook go back to sleep.” He puts one arm over your side and is half hovering over you. You can’t help but think he looks adorable with his hair all messed up and eyes barely open.

“Nope. Not until you tell me what’s wrong.” 

“Do you.. Do you think I’m fat? Like, do I look like I’ve gained weight recently?” 

“What? Are you crazy? Of course not why would you ask me that?” 

“Apparently my friend seems to think I am pregnant.” 

“Well your friend is an idiot. You’re beautiful baby. So so beautiful and all mine.” He starts attacking you with playful kisses all over your face and neck until you burst into laughter. Seemingly satisfied he pulls away from you and lays back down. 

“Thanks Jungkookie.” 

[mrs-emma-swan-jones]

I am THIS FUCKING CLOSE to just dropping this show oh my god. I can see exactly where this is going, and if it does indeed go there then what was the fucking point of me investing five seasons worth of my time into it??

So here’s what’s gonna happen: Jane is going to choose Michael, obviously. Rafael has, once again, turned to substance abuse after being sent to an all new low after his second attempt of asking Jane to marry him blew up in his face. And I honestly can’t even blame him considering she straight up said to his face in this episode that she loved him and that she was CHOOSING HIM!!! AND HE DIDN’T EVEN BELIEVE HER AT FIRST!!!  But then he thought, hey, I’ve been acting like an ass, and if she says she’s choosing me I believe her. And then she comes in with her stupid “dispassionate” notes all about Michael realizing that yeah, she does still have legit feelings for him, and now we’re right back to where we started. And what’s worse is that Rafael consistently turns to substance abuse when he gets low like this, and it is never addressed, because I guess it’s just not important enough to talk about since it helps paint him as the “lesser” choice. But I digress...

Anyway, he’s going to spiral and probably become even more unlikable than they tried to make him in this episode, and because of this no one is going to help him. Jane will go running back to Michael because Rafael has “problems” and that’ll be that. The worst thing that went through my head though when I saw him taking that pill with alcohol was that he might accidentally (or maybe even intentionally IDK) kill/hospitalize himself, and that is not what I want at ALL. I mean, why is no one concerned about the fact that he consistently turns to alcohol (and now pills) when he goes down this path??  Why does no one ever call that shit out?? Jane has seen him get drunk to deal with his problems on many occasions, and not once has she said “hey, you might have a problem and you should probably get some help.” I’m genuinely concerned about him because he seriously seems to be prone to depressive episodes like this, and this is obviously the most unhealthy way to deal with them. And I hate that putting him through the ringer every fucking season seems to be the go to for his character’s arc. Because after all this time, after all his development, he still ends up in the exact same place, and he still deals with it the exact same way. It’s bullshit, and if they’re doing all of this just to get Jane and Michael back together then wow, I really wasted a lot of time watching this show smh.

[drawacharge]

so hi yes i know i barely exist anymore, anyone miss me? anyway, this is a little drabble au that takes place in the 2000s about veteran!Billy who served in Afghanistan and has just returned to Hawkins. there’s no strong depictions of PTSD in this one, only a discussion about how poorly we treat our veterans so everyone should be safe trigger wise. enjoy!

ps i got this idea while driving to work listening to this song which made me think about billy deciding to join up

Billy shows up back in Hawkins four years after he joined the Army. Steve hadn’t noticed him leave, and he doesn’t notice he’s come back until he stops at the grocery store to pick up a few things and spots him by the frozen dinners. His long hair and mullet are gone, replaced by short, chopped hair, a tease of curls trying to grow back at the top. And when he looks up to see who’s staring at him, their eyes meet in the reflection of the icy door. There’s bags under his eyes and an exhaustion Steve’s seen a few times before in others. 

They stare for what feels like forever before Steve goes, “Don’t get the salisbury steak, it’s not actually steak.” And Billy just keeps staring at him before he finally turns around, looks Steve up and down quite blatantly and goes,

“Everyone knows that, Harrington.”

Harrington. 

No one calls him that anymore unless there’s a Mr. tied to the beginning.

“Yeah, well, figured I’d let you know, just in case.” He shrugs, thinking maybe Billy’s just as unfriendly as he used to be. It’s not like the army is known for making people nicer, especially with the current war going on. But. “You look good.”

He’s lying.

“You’re lying.”

It’s not that Billy looks bad, per say. He’s always been handsome. He just looks like a man who has been put through the ringer. So, Steve gives a sheepish smile and concedes with, “Only a little,” and he thinks he might actually see Billy’s lips twitch for a second. 

And.

That’s all that really happens. They don’t really exchange pleasantries, or ask what the other is doing now, they just say their awkward goodbyes and Steve checks out.

He looks back as he leaves, though, and finds Billy at the register he just left checking out the Help Wanted sign. 

Turns out, Billy was honorably discharged according to Max. “Something happened,” she says, sitting in between Mike and Lucas as they work on their caps for graduation. “He won’t talk about it, and the Army doesn’t tell you anything, but something happened. Mom wants him to go down to the VA and get a therapist, but Neil says it’s for pussies.”

“Therapists aren’t for pussies,” Steve argues. He had a therapist and she was the only reason he didn’t have nightmares so much anymore.

“I know that! It’s just what Neil said!”

“Why does he listen to Neil anyway? Isn’t he like-- old like Steve?”

“I’m not old.”

“You’re kinda’ old.”

“Hey--”

Max ignores them all, “No, but he’s stubborn. He thinks it’s for pussies too.” Which, like, doesn’t surprise Steve at all because it’s Billy and that sounds just like him. Which sucks because Steve knows a therapist would help. The things each of them have been through might be incredibly different, but at the end of the day trauma was trauma. 

“Maybe you can convince him,” Will offers quietly, eyes cast downwards as he focuses on his cap. “You’ve gotten closer since he left, right?”

“I guess,” Max shrugs. “Who knew being away from each other is what we needed.”

Beside her, Lucas snorts and goes, “Literally everyone,” and Max slugs him in the shoulder.

Next time he sees Billy he’s walking out of the diner with a scowl on his face so Steve thinks about just avoiding him all together until their eyes meet and Billy approaches. He looks hesitant, almost unsure, when he goes, “Hey,” and Steve says Hey back, and he isn’t sure as to why Billy’s acting all weird and awkward until he speaks up again.

“You... work for your dad right? Is there.. are you guys hiring? I swear I’ve tried every place in this town, but I have no experience, so.”

Steve frowns, “You were over seas.”

Billy just shrugs, “Doesn’t matter to them. No experience is no experience. And, look, I know your work is fancy or whatever, but I have a suit and I led my squad in a desert with bombs going off around us so I think I can handle--”

“You were in charge?”

Immediately, Billy’s demeanor changes to something more prideful, and he lifts his chin a little and goes, “Staff sergeant, yeah.” And Steve has no idea what that means, but he thinks it must be a pretty big deal to be promoted like that. It must have meant Billy was good at it. He’s not really surprised, though. He was a better leader to the basketball team than Steve had been and he’d been Captain, so in retrospect, Billy rising in the ranks in the Army just made sense.

“Well--” Steve rubs at the back of his neck, “I can talk to my dad? But... I’ll be honest, he’s just as bad, if not worse than the other people not hiring you. I don’t think he even has one vet working for him.”

“Oh.” Billy’s goes stoic and emotionless, but his shoulders slump but he nods anyway, tight and firm before stepping back and toward his car. “Thanks anyway.”

Steve can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that the most useless he has ever felt in a long while was when he was watching Billy, a guy who fought for his country, walk away dejected because he couldn’t get a job.

The idea comes to him exactly three days later while he’s having a late breakfast at his desk. He feels like an imbecile for not thinking of it sooner and immediately dials a number he has memorized by this point. The phone picks up on the third ring and a tired voice answers.

“Hey, Hop? You’re looking for a deputy, right?”

“I don’t have any experience.”

“Dude, you led a military team in Afghanistan. That’s plenty experience.” 

Their at the diner that rejected Billy’s application just a few days before, having breakfast and coffee. Steve just told Billy about the opportunity to work for the Hawkins police department and he’s never seen the blonde look so skeptical. It wasn’t any weirder than Steve getting his number from Max and calling him up in the first place, though. Billy had sounded so damn surprised when he’d answered the phone, too. 

“Isn’t there like... a police academy or something?”

He shrugs, “I dunno’ any details, but Hopper does. He’ll tell you everything you need to do. He wants you to come by today.”

“I--” Billy pauses, glances down at his untouched eggs and looks away again, back out the window. He hasn’t looked Steve in the eye once since he told him about the job. “Does he know I served?”

“Yeah. He served too you know.”

He almost seems to perk at that, “He did?”

“Yeah. Right out of high school, just like you. It’d why I called him. I figured if anyone was willing to give a veteran a chance, it’d be another veteran.”

That information seems to relax Billy some, as if he trusts Hopper a lot more now that they have something in common. Steve can’t blame him there, either. Something like war was one of those things that only people who have been through it too could really understand. Hopper might have served in a different war, but at the end of the day war was war and he’d be more than willing to help out a younger vet. 

“Why are you doing this?”

Billy’s question pulls Steve out of his thoughts and he blinks owlishly at him before going, “What do you mean?” which only makes Billy’s frown deepen.

“We weren’t friends when I left. I was a total asshole to you and your nerd squad, so why are you doing this for me?”

Steve blinks, then blinks again. Then blinks again. Finally, he looks incredulous when he goes, “Seriously? It’s been four years, dude. I don’t hold grudges that long. Besides, friends or not it’s bullshit that you can’t find a job, and if I can do something to help, why shouldn’t I?”

The other man is real silent after that, just staring at his fucking eggs again, and Steve tries to let the silence have its time because he wants to be respectful and cautious, but he really hates quiet and he’s so close to saying something, anything, just to fill it, when Billy finally looks at him and says, “Thanks. I-- Thank you, man. This means a lot,” with so much sincerity in those striking blues of his that Steve’s caught so off guard he almost forgets to reply.

“... Don’t mention it.”

Two weeks later, Steve’s driving home when a police car pulls up behind him and flashes its lights. It’s not Hopper’s cruiser, so whoever it is is about to get bitched at because he was not speeding, he didn’t run a stop sign, and he’s so fucking tired. He just wants to go home and pass out, but he pulls over anyway and glares at his rear view mirror. 

The glare immediately falters when none other than Billy Hargrove steps out and saunters over. 

Steve rolls down the window and hears him go, “Have any idea why I pulled you over, sir?” While leaning down so he can rest his forearm in the open window. Steve’s about to respond, eyebrows pulled together in confusion and frown on his face when Billy suddenly grins and tilts down his aviators to look at Steve over the rim. “To show off my new uniform, obviously.”

Oh, Steve thinks, realizing Billy was just messing with him. He immediately relaxes, because even though he’s exhausted, he finds that he doesn’t really mind stopping for a moment to chat. Especially when Billy steps back so Steve can check him out. 

It figures he’d pull off a fucking cop’s uniform. Steve honestly hates him.

“Seventeen year old you would be so pissed to find out he becomes a cop,” Steve says, and can’t help but grin when Billy’s smile gets a little wider.

“Oh he’d fucking hate me,” he laughs and leans back out of the window to rest his hands on his hips. Steve notes that he doesn’t have a gun yet, just a baton and tazer. 

“How’s it going?”

“Good,” he nods. “Hopper is still the grumpiest dude alive, but he’s a good teacher. I get my own gun soon.” It’s kind of funny he doesn’t have it yet considering he probably handled guns a lot bigger and more dangerous over seas, but Steve figures Hopper has his reasons. “And I stopped and gave Karen’s useless ass husband a ticket. That was fucking satisfying.”

“You better watch it. The women around here are gonna hear you’re a cop and start running red lights and speeding just to get your attention.”

Billy’s grin settles into more of a smirk, something reminiscent of his younger days, and it does a little something to Steve he doesn’t want to admit. He was never really on the receiving end of that kind of look, and he was starting to get why it worked. 

“But not you, huh?”

He pauses, wonders if Billy is flirting or just asking, wonders if he should be brave and flirt back or just lead the conversation into something safer because there was no way Billy was like that, but--

“I don’t think I gotta’ run red lights to get your attention, Hargrove.”

It’s risky, Steve knows that, and he waits for Billy to scowl at him and say something off color. But instead he just kind of looks at Steve with an unreadable expression before humming affirmation and going, “Just like in high school,” which leaves Steve positively dumbfounded.

By the time he finds his wits Billy’s slapping the top of the car, “Head on home now. I’ll see you later.” And a quick pause as he keeps Steve’s gaze before adding, “Pretty boy,” with a dazzling smile. Then he inclines his head and he’s gone, slipping back into his cruiser and turning around, leaving Steve on the side of the road a little awestruck, totally confused, and.

Well, kind of excited? 

[muchadoaboutm]

So I'm gonna talk about Bat Out of Hell the musical bc I went to see it yesterday and I am in love. I’m going through it v. incoherently one song at a time with random interjections, so the actual thing is under a cut bc despite appearances I’m not that cruel

The theatre was packed for one thing. It was mostly people who wanted to see it one last time before it closes next week, but I'm sure I wasn't the only person seeing it for the first time. And the thing I love most about seeing something with people who already know it is how they react. You feel the person next to you tense up before the bad thing happens, they're the first to laugh, you can hear them start to him along and then realise where they are and stop. It's a little magic I think, and I want so badly to see it again and I CAN'T. because it closes in less than a week.

It started gradually which I wasn't expecting, and then all of a sudden the lights went down, the spot light came on, and it was love death and the american guitar times one hundred. And the the sound filled the space---i didn't know you could hear like that. All revved up with no place to go went straight through me, and this is a song that is already incredible

There were lights and there was sound everywhere and it was fucking electrifying and I wanted to fight someone. I stg I've never felt so fucking alive as I did for that six minutes

And oh my fucking god jordan Luke gage's voice--i die

Also, strat looked so fucking outraged when raven took his top

And who needs the young with that one note that went on forever and how do you even hold a note that long? Also??? Sharon sexton????? god

Out of the frying pan? God guys. Damn but that was fucking fun-kinda creepy with the kidnapping talk but at this point I'm like 98% sure they're taking the piss (is that a type of song I like now? Friends make fun of guy who's sure he's in love?) And the choreography?

Two out of three, no lie I think I might be in love with zahara

Paradise by the dashboard light fucking traumatised me with those pink pants-never going to recover. But the commentator just being there, and all the backing dancers, and Sloane and falco in that fucking car. And raven pushing it off stage? And the orchestra members just kind of emerging after?

Strat you cannot just go in her room and hover over her, it's fucking creepy. Seriously dude. And raven-a duet is not the right way to respond to your crush randomly turning up while you're sleeping. Also I adore making love out of nothing at all but guys?? Really? The line about pickup lines though. The entire audience laughed at strat's on a hot summer night but bc seriously? No one in their right mind immediately has a response to that-

And then it was bat out of hell and the bike. The fucking bike.I was on a actual high and then the bike exploded and I stg I gasped out loud. Like I knew it was coming and all, but still. It fucking exploded. And the lights came up and they were still clearing his body off the stage

I'm gonna talk about the stage now, because oh my god. I've never seen a stage like it. There was an actual pool of water in the rocks, and there were stairs, and there were other little stages about which could also be screens, and whole set pieces just moved out to create different places. And they did a live feed from one stage to the screen at a couple if points, but you could see the camera man which was just incredibly cool. And have I mentioned the bikes?

Back from the interval it goes straight into in the land of the pig and there's a fucking cage, and the lost are in orange jumpsuits, and someone's being fucking electrocuted, and someone else is being drowned and fuck but that was disturbing and horrific. And there's people strung up from the ceiling hanging over the cage and zahara tells them strat is dead and my heart broke

And then it was heaven can wait and that was on screen so the main stage I'm pretty certain still had the lost on it. And damn Christina Bennington can sing. It was celestial. And the whole drawing on her arms thing? The most accurate representation of a teenage girl imo (if only bc I've been known to do that exact thing)

And then it was objects in the rear view mirror and I almost started crying because I never really listened to it before I guess? Not properly anyway because it hit me like a train.

Strat when he just woke up and he was rambling and feverish and tink was there the whole time, and I can't even fathom how heartbreaking it must be for tink, to love so much and for it to never be enough. Like I genuinely can't blame him for wanting raven gone-shes taken his best friend and almost got him killed and he still loves her.

And for crying out loud will haunt me forever. It was so desperate and there was so much longing and I felt it in my bones.

So you took the words out of my mouth with the lost realising strat's alive, and the return of his wolf line, and the wedding, and the tossing of the bouquet and I just loved the whole sequence so much

I'm honestly glad tink interrupted strat and raven before things got too heated bc honestly there's only so far you can go on stage, but then of course we had tink suddenly speaking up, and I'm not allowed to love, and you suddenly understand so much more about him. Like he was frozen younger right, and so he can never feel equal really, and he doesn't let himself show any emotion (the lost do show emotion so I think this is tink trying to force himself to appear older but I could be wrong).

What part of my body hurts the most also broke me bc its falco just realising everything he's lost (is he holding a photo album?) And I think for a moment he thinks sloane's come back, and then she leaves all over again, and he's lost everything and I just-----

And then you've got tink come to make a deal, and you can kind of see how young he really is, and how in many ways he's very naive.

Can we talk about dead ringer for love? That song-god that song is something else. And it's all so fucking jubilant and as an audience, you know something they don't, bc you know it's all about to go to shit. And then of course falco arrives and tells everyone what tink's done, everything happens at once and then tink's been shot and everything stops.

And strat makes raven leave, because of course he does, because tinks lying on the floor with a gunshot would and her father fired the gun.

I think it's important here that strat uses the word soulmate, because we only really see that word in a romantic sense, but here it means something so much deeper, and I'm crying again because of course I am. And rock and roll dreams come through, the song that we know was their song and

And then we're looking at falco and raven, and you can see just how intensely she blames him, and for once he doesn't know what to do, and despite all his efforts he's still do very alone.

Six months later. Ravens pretty obviously still broken, and the strat comes in, creeping though her window and he speaks and I think she thinks she's dreaming (it kinda mirrors for crying out loud I guess, in that she becomes coherent when she realises he's real, idk). And it's all coming back to me now is a song I adore, and strat actually kneels in front of her which seems pretty damn symbolic, and they still aren't toughing. I don't think they actually touched until flavour came in and raven had to stop strat climbing out of the window again, and then it was Sloane's verse and there were many many tender embraces which made me very happy.

I'd do anything love always drags a bit just the song (it's 10 minutes long and I have a short attention span) but I didn't find it dragged at all on stage. There was a big laugh before the song at raven's "what about when I'm 38, or 48, or *horror* 49" and a pause during the song after screwing around but then strat replied and all was right in the world. There was a heart which was on fire over the stage

Bat out of hell was the song for bows, and then it was over and I stg my legs were shaking during the ovation

Anyway it was wonderful, and I'm in love, and I'm sorry this is so long but I had to write it all down

[realisticallycynical]

Ace

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (you are here), part 8, part 9, based on @skygemspeaks‘s prompt

Tetsurou won’t lie; he’s curious about this man, Lev’s father. He’s only ever met Lev’s uncles; usually it’s the blond, Yuri, but Otabek has shown up once or twice since that first time, and on one memorable occasion a man with even stranger hair than Kenma had shown up. Lev had (predictably) tackled him in a hug and introduced him as Uncle Kenjirou.

Honestly, Tetsurou has been starting to wonder if the kid’s parents are ever home, if he has so many uncles that seem to take care of him. But Lev seems happy enough, so he minded his own business.

Now they’re here. They’ve met one of Lev’s dads (he’s exactly what Tetsurou expected). Now they’re here, in the back of quite possibly the gayest car Tetsurou has ever had the privilege of seeing, much less sitting in, and they’re on their way to Lev’s house, which… come to think of it, none of them have seen in the month and a half they’ve known each other.

Yaku looks mightily uncomfortable, which is amusing enough in itself to make this trip worth it. Not to mention that since they’re being given a ride, Kenma has the chance to nap on Tetsurou’s shoulder without Tetsurou having to carry him.

He loves Kenma, he really does, but carrying him home when he’s dead asleep is a serious workout.

“Thank you again for all this, Haiba-san,” Tetsurou remembers to say, looking at the man as Kenma slumps on his shoulder, half asleep already.

“Thanks…” he murmurs in exhaustion.

Tetsurou knows he’s not imagining the way Lev and his father stiffen momentarily, and he wonders what he did wrong for the split second it takes for them to relax.

Lev’s dad waves him off with a light chuckle. “It’s nothing, not a problem at all! Lev never brings friends home. I’m Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov, by the way. Not Haiba. But you can all call me Victor!”

Oh. So that’s what he fucked up. The Haiba name is probably from Lev’s (and his sister’s, Tetsurou reasons) biological parents. “Ah, I’m sorry.”

Still, just like that time with Otabek, he gets the feeling that there’s more to Victor’s words than he lets on. Lev seems like the type of guy who would have had sleepovers and birthday parties held at his home whenever possible, but apparently not. Something just seems… off.

Victor keeps up a steady chatter with Lev as they drive, rambling about America and training and all the presents they got for him this time around. Lev responds with just as much enthusiasm, telling his father about his time at school and volleyball practice. Tetsurou occasionally chimes to playfully take him down a peg in if Lev oversells his skills.

It doesn’t take long for the car to stop, but when it did, Tetsurou isn’t exactly sure what he’s seeing. He’s always figured that Lev’s family was fairly well-off, especially since they were always off in other countries and his uncle was a model for the biggest fashion magazine in the world. But given the (admittedly small) amount of information he has about Victor, he was expecting something… flashier.

The house is incredibly nice, don’t get him wrong, but Tetsurou would have expected either a mansion or a cottage (because that’s the type of things rich people are into, right? pretending not to be rich?) and this place is neither. It’s modern, but blends in nicely with the neighborhood; had they not stopped in front of it, Tetsurou wouldn’t have thought it different from any other building on this street.

When Yaku, Lev, and Victor open their doors to get out of the car, Tetsurou nudges Kenma awake gently. “Hey. We’re here, come on.”

“Mm? Oh.” Kenma looks at him and blinks sleepily. “Ok.”

By the time they get out of the car, Lev is already unlocking the front door. Kenma wakes up fairly quickly, but sticks close to Tetsurou all the same. Tetsurou can’t blame him; from what they’ve been able to tell, Lev’s family members are very… unique. As long as they stick close together, Tetsurou can make them a quick getaway if it’s too much for Kenma.

“I’m home!” Lev announces cheerily, stepping in first. Victor follows and the rest of them trail in with quiet “sorry for the intrusion”s. Kenma tucks both of his hands in his sweatshirt pocket, and Tetsurou knows he’s messing with his cubes. He doesn’t like outings like this much.

“Lyovochka!” Someone barrels into Lev with all the speed and power of a bullet, lifting him in a tight, spinning hug.

As he’s set down, Lev giggles-- giggles! --at the girl who just attacked him with arguably the most enthusiastic hug Tetsurou has ever seen. “Lisichka! Why didn’t you all tell me you were taking an earlier flight? I would have come home!”

“It was Dad’s idea to surprise you since you’ve been having so much fun without us and--”

“Congrats on finally getting gold at worlds--”

The two of them chatter over each other for a moment before the girl fixes her gaze on the three of them. She looks friendly, but guarded. Distrustful.

“These are your friends from volleyball?”

Lev blinks, looking unsure of how to respond to that (which is a mystery in itself; Tetsurou was fairly sure he thought of them all as friends), but that was when Yaku finally decided to speak up.

“That’s right.” Lev’s face brightens like a cloud moving away from the sun, but Yaku continues. “My name is Morisuke Yaku, I’m the team’s--”

“Libero. Yes, I know you, Yaku-san.” The woman looks at him carefully before turning her gaze to Tetsurou and Kenma. “You’re Kenma-san and captain-san, right? Lev has told us all about you.”

Tetsurou can’t help it; he snorts in amusement and holds out his hand for the woman to shake. Captain-san? Really, Lev? “I’m Kuroo Tetsurou, also known as captain-san.”

The woman shakes his hand, but doesn’t lose her guarded, polite expression. Considering what he’s suspecting about Lev before he came to Nekoma (given all these odd reactions to their team’s relationship with Lev, Tetsurou has a few puzzle pieces that are fitting together to form a picture that makes his blood boil) he doesn’t expect her to lose that defensiveness any time soon, and he isn’t taking it personally. If he’s even partially right, she’s right not to.

“Haiba Alisa,” she says as she shakes Tetsurou’s hand. “I’m Lev’s older sister.”

Victor has disappeared into the next room with Lev. Alisa leads Tetsurou, Kenma, and Yaku after them into a frankly massive kitchen and dining room. “I’ll have dinner ready soon, so just make yourselves at home in the meantime.”

She approaches the slightly shorter, black-haired man standing at the stove. “Papa, I’ll take over from here. Go meet Lev’s friends, I know you’re dying to.”

The man hands her the spatula without argument and turns to them, smiling. He has an innocent sort of face, Tetsurou notices, with wide eyes and longish black hair that falls gently over his glasses. He smiles at them, not bright like his son or husband, but calm. Happy.

He bows. “I am Yuuri. Welcome, I hope you like food because I may have gone slightly overboard.”

Tetsurou’s eyes widen in surprise. He looks over at Yaku, who looks back at him, equally amazed. They’re thinking the same thing. How on earth is this one of the members of this crazy family?

When Yuuri straightens out again and notices their surprise, he laughs, quiet and musical. “You’re wondering why they keep someone like me around, right?” His eyes glint mischievously. “Well, to be honest, they all just latched on and wouldn’t let go no matter what I tried.”

“Yuu-ri, why are you so mean?” Victor whines, wrapping his arms around his husband and pouting. Lev and Alisa make an offended noise, but don’t seem particularly upset.

Yuuri rolls his eyes fondly, but pays him no mind, and Tetsurou gets the feeling this is a fairly normal occurrence. “So! You’re members of the volleyball team, right?”

“Yes sir,” Yaku says politely. “I’m Yaku Morisuke, the libero.”

He looks at Tetsurou expectantly, but Tetsurou sees the expression in Yuuri’s eyes. “You already know all of our names and positions, don’t you sir?”

At that, Yuuri bursts out laughing and Lev blushes on the other side of the room.

“I’m sorry, that was very rude of me,” he says, giggling. “But you’re right, Kuroo-kun. Lev tells us all about his teammates over video chat.”

Oh, Tetsurou loves this guy. He’s tricky. “Let me guess. Yaku is the short angry one, Kenma has ‘really cool hair’ and I’m the captain-san that’s always with Kenma.”

Yuuri nods in amusement when Lev squeaks in embarrassment. “You know him very well, Kuroo-kun.”

Tetsurou can read Yaku like a book and the look he sends Lev promises hours of receiving drills in the next few days for that description of him. It’s funny though; of the members of the team, Yaku is the most (secretly) fond of Lev. Which, Tetsurou suspects, is the reason he puts the poor kid through the ringer so often.

The next hour continues like that, with most of them poking fun at Lev and his family catching him up. Yaku, Tetsurou, and Kenma are shot the occasional question about how Lev is in volleyball (“I’m the ace!” “No, that’s Kuroo.” “So mean, Yaku-san!”) and how he is in school (surprisingly well; despite being a completely oblivious airhead, Lev takes his studies seriously, Tetsurou has noticed), as well as how he’s getting along with everyone.

After they finish eating, Alisa pulls Tetsurou aside and asks to speak with him privately.

“Look, Kuroo-san. I like you. You seem like a great guy and you have a sense of responsibility. So I’m going to trust you with this.”

The conversation that follows makes the final puzzle piece click into place, and Tetsurou can’t remember the last time he was so angry to be right about something. But he shoves that aside and reassures Alisa that her brother is in good hands before they go inside and rejoin the group.

[eggymovies]

Favorite Movies of 2019

Last year I used this space to post a list and short write-up of my favorite movies of 2018. This year, I’ll be doing the same a bit. I’m not much of a writer, just someone who likes movies and wants other people to like them too.

I went to the movies 101 times and watched about 250 movies in total between the theater and home viewings. Two highlights of non-2019 movies that I discovered for the first time this year and haven’t stopped thinking or talking about: Teddy Bear (10 timer til Paradis) (available on Amazon Prime)

Somewhere (rent it on iTunes, Amazon, or anywhere)

I’d also like to use this space to praise Cold War, which was distributed after my 2018 list came out but would have made it to the top 5 of the year. An achingly romantic epic (though only 88 minutes in length) directed by Polish master-filmmaker Pawel Pawlikowski, who won the best foreign film Oscar for 2013′s Ida, Cold War depicts the tragic love story of two musicians spanning multiple decades in post-WWII Europe. It’s available for free on Amazon Prime.

Alright... here is my top 20 films of 2019 list, which changed yesterday, will change a little tomorrow, and will look completely different in a year: 20. Toy Story 4

A perfect end to a near-perfect franchise. I’m not sure anyone believed this would be more than a cash-grab, but Pixar employed it’s flagship franchise and characters to explore ideas about growing up and letting go. That might sound like a rehash TS3, but the fourth installment proved itself unique and worthy of addition to the canon. Let’s just hope Disney/Pixar ends things here. 

19. Wild Rose

One of the strongest performances of the year, Jessie Buckley is enough to vault this pretty good movie into my top 20. A troubled young woman recently released from a Scottish women’s prison attempts to follow her dream of becoming a famous Nashville country singer. If that’s not enough to compel you to watch this film (streaming on Hulu), at least watch the music video for Glasgow, an original song from the film that is also one of my favorite songs of the year. 

18. Triple Frontier

If you know me at all, you should have seen this coming. Oscar Isaac, Ben Affleck, Charlie Hunnam, Garret Hedlund and Pedro Pascal (whom Netflix is smart enough to not hide behind armor and a helmet) are former Special Forces soldiers who team up to rob a South American crime boss. What seems like a typical heist movie about one more job surprises half way through by turning into a film about survival at any cost. The Metallica needle-drop as a helicopter flies over a South American highway and mountain range all but cemented this movie’s place on this list. I have no shame.

17. Us

The first time I saw Jordan Peele’s follow-up to 2017′s breakout hit Get Out, I liked it a lot and ached for a second viewing to pick up on all the easter-eggs and deeper meaning behind his choices. On second viewing every choice was cheapened and I found that I liked it less, saddened by what I saw as shallow metaphor and an ending that ripped of Karyn Kusama’s The Invitation. Over the next month or so I found myself telling people that Us was a blast, and that it’s intention was not to be read more deeply, but simply enjoyed as a brilliantly crafted and visually stunning modern horror masterpiece. Then I forgot about it for a few months. I don’t know exactly how I feel now but I know I want to watch it again and that I think about it frequently. 

16. 1917

A lot has been said about the filmmaking and “one-take” effect employed by Roger Deakins (cinematographer) and Sam Menders (director), which is impressive and worthy of the praise it’s received, but I won’t belabor that point. What worked for me was the chemistry between the film’s stars, George MacKay and Dean-Charles Chapman, who help turn a WWI epic into a tender story about friendship and family. A necessary breath of fresh air before the film becomes a somewhat oppressive and stressful POV take on the horrors of war. 

15. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

All hail Mariel Heller, who managed to direct America’s Dad as America’s Friendliest Neighbor without being overly saccharine or sentimental. Vanity Fair’s Kam Collins pointed out that “Close-ups on fred rogers hit different”, which was spot on. Rogers was always seen and felt from a distance, and while we spend a lot of time with him here, Heller’s film isn’t about him but rather his disarming effect on people who met and knew him. Taking the POV of the journalist who is profiling him works wonders.

14. Paddleton

This Netflix film starring Mark Duplass and Ray Romano went mostly ignored or unwatched in 2019 as far as I can tell, but I happened upon it one evening (thanks, algorithms) and was moved by it’s tenderness and Romano’s remarkable performance playing against type. Fans of Duplass’ early career as a mumblecore king will feel at home in this two-hander about best friends and neighbors navigating life as one of them is diagnosed with a terminal illness and plans for assisted-death. Me loving a move about male emotion and processing grief? Shocker. 

13. Midsommar

Speaking of grief, Midsommar hit the zeitgest in July and I’m sure if you’re reading this you already saw it or determined that it wasn’t for you. Someone on a Ringer podcast used the mixed-metaphor “Fish out of water getting shot in a barrel” which perfectly distills the events that transpire when a group of college students travel to Sweden for a midsummer festival that turns into something much, much scarier. It’s not a spoiler, you fucking know things aren’t what they seem. I could go long on Florence Pugh but she’s the performer of the year in my mind. Midsommar, Fighting With My Family (which rocks), Little Women (see below), and in late 2018 in Park Chan-wook’s adaptation of The Little Drummer Girl for AMC which was remarkable and as good as almost any film on this list. 

12. Under the Silver Lake

David Robert Mitchell followed up 2017′s excellent It Follows with this wonderfully weird paranoia soaked Los Angeles neo-noir stone flick. This film shares so much DNA with Chinatown, The Big Lebowski and Inherent Vice, but is it’s own strange exploration of the meaning (or meaningless) of life and art and the world that surrounds us. I’m still not sure I understand what the point was, if there was any at all, but I think that was also the point? You’ll understand what the means after watching the film. Or maybe you won’t. I don’t know, it’s a fun one. 

11. Atlantics

To say much about the plot of Mati Diop’s brilliant debut film Atlantics would be a disservice to anyone who hasn’t seen it. Seriously, it’s on Netflix right now and is a stunning and spooky original story that demands your attention. I can’t stress this enough, the less you know the better. Prepare to be surprised in the best way possible. 

10. Transit

Christian Petzold’s Transit is an unsettling tale about identity and one man’s struggle to find human connection while in the midst of a chaotic attempt to escape a fascist state. Franz Rogowski is hypnotic and Petzold’s choice to film this WWII story set in France without period signifiers has a dizzying effect. Watch it on Amazon Prime right now!

9. Once Upon A Time in Hollywood

There’s been enough discourse around this movie and enough writing on it that I don’t need to get into it. It’s Leo, Brad, and Robbie. It’s LA in 1969. It’s Tarantino. It’s excellent. 

8. Ad Astra

A space movie starring Brad Pitt directed by James Gray. Do I need to say anything else? A movie about a sad man who goes to space to deal with his feelings, much like my favorite film of 2018. 

7. Little Women

Set across two timelines and jumping back and forth between them, Greta Gerwig brings her uniquely nimble and manic energy to this adaption of the classic Louisa May Alcott Novel and it works perfectly. I was disappointed to hear that Gerwig’s follow-up to her perfect debut (Lady Bird) with another hollywood adaptation of Little Women but her take on the store is one of a kind. The murderers row of talent top to bottom doesn’t hurt.

6. The Irishman

I can’t believe I doubted Scorsese after seeing the first trailer for The Irishman. How stupid of me and anyone who thought his latest epic wouldn’t be necessary and singular. A brilliant and tender take on the gangster film, Martin Scorsese crafted a film that acts as a sorrowful conversation with his own life and work and the careers of the three men at the center of this story. De Niro and Pacino are incredible, but Pesci is otherworldly. Lost in the brilliance of those three titans is Stephen Graham’s hilarious and devilishly mean and charismatic supporting performance.

5. Parasite

Nearly unanimous praise has been showered on Bong Joon-ho’s Parasite, and this masterpiece is somehow still underrated. It’s funny and thrilling and perfect. I don’t need to convince you, you’ve already heard it all. If you haven’t seen it, go now. If you have seen it, see it again.

4. Pain & Glory

Pain & Glory is a brightly colored and tender reflection on the director’s childhood and ouvre. Banderas’ awe-inspiring turn as a stand-in for the director, master Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodóvar, is smart and sweet and devastating.

3. Marriage Story

I love Noah Baumbach’s films (Frances Ha, Meyerowitz Stories, Kicking and Screaming), unless I hate them (Greenberg, Mistress America, Margot at the Wedding). And even when I hate them, I revisit them constantly and think about them with more frequency than many movies I love. He already made one of the best divorce films ever (The Squid and the Whale) and redirects his acerbic wit and cynical view of people’s motivations and love toward the process of uncoupling (and to some extent, the city of LA). There’s something ultimately hopeful and light about Baumbach’s view of humanity and love here, even as we watch both deteriorate through most of the film. Driver and Johansson are terrific. 

2. Uncut Gems

A24 made a movie starring Adam Sandler centered around the outcome of a 2012 Boston Celtics playoff game that co-starred Lakeith Stanfield. If you didn’t know this movie existed, you’d think it came from a dream I had. It did not. Tense, tight, terrifying and hilarious, I saw this twice in theaters and will see it again. This is the Josh and Benny Safdie’s Goodfellas, and they will win an Oscar in 20 years for a movie that is less daring and less original and we will all look back on this year as the moment we failed to realize the torch had been passed. 

1. The Farewell

The Farewell starts by announcing it is “Based on an actual lie” and from those opening frames you know you’re in masterful hands. A heart-wrenchingly sweet and somber film filled with humor and honesty, it is the story of a family choosing to hide the matriarch’s cancer diagnosis from her so she can live out her final days without the anxiety and stress of knowing. Awkwafina, in a wonderful performance playing against type, is the Chinese-American granddaughter who struggles to find her place in the narrative her family is creating, torn between her ties to her Chinese heritage and American identity, feeling like the other in both worlds she inhabits. I have been unable to shake many moments in this film from my mind and would wholeheartedly recommend to anyone and everyone I know. It will not disappoint.

[decodervon]

Hi. Hi me. or you. 

Hi. It’s really hard not to talk to you anymore. I have to stop myself constantly from wanting to pick up the phone.

I’ve been talking to people about it. I think you didn’t really come to that party on Saturday for me. I mean, not specifically. Maybe a little. I don’t think you called me about the window because it was me. you know i’m a source for empathy and affection and.. i will give it up to you willingly. Out of love. out of guilt. i still will.

I saw you unfollowed me on Instagram. And Steam. And probably everything else. not facebook. not like that means anything. Those all hurt. almost caused a relapse. I talked a little bit about what I’m going through on Instagram. I tried to not make it about you. Cause it was only part of everything. Everyone i talk to has no idea what’s ever going on between us and I needed to talk to someone about it.

i think my brother-in-law told my sister and she called me today.

i told her about the situation. about how you don’t trust me. about how i put you through the ringer. how you want space. i told her you were my “person”. that’s kind of our code for soulmate or whatever you want to call it. you know what her advice was?

“call her. tell her all the things you told me. i’ve never seen you take responsiblity for yourself like this and i’m so proud of you. tell her that she’s your person. tell her you want to make it up to her.”

“shes scared that i’m trying to manipulate her. and i’m scared that maybe i am too with how i say things.”

“well, i mean, in a way, you are. haha. you want to manipulate the situation so you’re back together.”

i think she was trying to say that its like... not for a bad or terrible reason. she said she could only speak for herself and said she’s love someone to say that to her. to want to make things up to her and help her and take care of her. i know you’re scared i’ll just hurt you again. hurt you more. you went through this same change as me. i wish you could remember how you felt. i found an email you wrote me the other day:

“I'm running out of ways to contact you. That's what you want. Who knows if you'll even read this. Maybe you'll just delete it. Maybe you'll read it then delete it and pretend you never got it. I know I deserve all of it. I'm so sorry Dakota. I fucked up and I am so sorry. Please unblock me I need you. I need you for emergencies, at least. What am I gonna do without you.. what's the point in doing anything without you.. I hope and beg and plead that you at least show up to the next therapy appointment, if we're really not gonna talk until then. May 2nd, 6pm. How am I supposed to send you my clinic proof. How am I supposed to send you my breaking things off proof. I need you and I need us. I am sick but I am getting better. That's why we were even broken up. So I can get better without having to worry too hard about anything else. I fucked up that weekend, every step of the way. Let me make it up to you. I will spend a lifetime making it up to you if I need to. I've had to spend some time being selfish and thinking of me and my health but I fucked things up with the best thing in my life in the process. I can't be better without you :( Let me show you how much I love you. You are my world and my heart. I will do anything except give up. If there's any strength left in me I won't give up. I love you too much and I know you're mad but I know you love me too. You have to :( five years doesn't go away over a weekend. I made up my mind a long time ago that you're the one for me. You're my forever and my life and we never even got to properly try it out. Can't we at least try it out? I'll cook for you every night and you can have your own room and you never have to join me in mine if you don't want. I need you to give me the chance. You've given me so many and I haven't deserved most of them, but I am begging for one more. Please consider therapy with me. We can't do this alone but we CAN do it. I believe in us forever. We've been through so much and we can make it through so much more. Love, Pasha”

that was dated 4/25/17. i cried again reading it. its everything i feel towards you. you’re the one in the stronger position now and... i want to beg and plead for you back. i want us to be Forever. i want to spend forever making it up to you. but i don’t want you to think i’m trying to manipulate you or hurt you. thats why i wont call for you if i need you. why i wont send you any letters or do anything to intrude on your space. it hurts so much and i need you so bad. it hurts to not see you around in my sphere. to see you wane. i don’t want space. i don’t want to move on. it hurt me to hear it and i know i said i needed it too... because it kills me to sit around thinking you’re falling away from me. i want my sweetest girl back. we’ve been through worlds together. too many to count. Bry said we were star-crossed. i look at my phone and pray every alert is you. 

i’ve listened to this song i posted and cried all day thinking about you. remembering when you didn’t used to resent me. back when you loved me. i know you don’t really remember. but i do. i remember how you looked at me and how eager you were. i know i always get fuzzy with the specifics, but i quantify the feelings into the memories. i honestly don’t know if we’ll talk again. i always take this so seriously and it hurts. i wish i could talk to that Pasha that was desperate for love all those years ago. i want to hold and love that girl until i die.

I want to hold and love you until I die.

Love,

Dakota

[marviinmelton]

Kamarq, the “Netflix for furniture,” pulls designs amid plagiarism scandal

We’re living in the age of on-demand, subscription-based convenience, from Netflix to Car2Go. The new Japanese startup Kamarq is applying the same concept to the home, convinced that it may even be passé to assume that consumers, or at least young millennials, care to own the furniture they pay for these days.

However, the company may have overlooked the value of authenticity in its ambitious plans to disrupt the furniture industry. Hours after Kamarq launched its subscription furniture plan today in New York, the company told Co.Design via a statement that it would be pulling the majority of the collection after Instagram users identified the pieces as knockoffs of an earlier 2015 collection by independent designer Ana Kras.

Now, with the exception of two designs, Kamarq’s collection will never see the light of day. It’s a story that illustrates the pitfalls of this new, rapidly evolving model of design–and how, in the age of social media, there are always #receipts.

[Photo: Travis Chantar/courtesy Kamarq]

But let’s back up: What is Kamarq? The company–whose name is a play on the word for “my room” in Indonesian–offers a subscription-based model with six and 10-month plans for its furniture items, like a single unit of a modular shelf. Order a piece online—as of now, debut prices range from $5 to $18 per month per item—and at the end of your plan, you can choose to either keep it or have it sent back to exchange for another product, presumably from the next, newer collection.

The pay-as-you-go model doesn’t just enable instant gratification, it doubles down on it: Customers only receive new, unused items, shipped worldwide in ten days from Indonesia, where they’re manufactured at a high-volume facility with quick turnaround. All returned items, advertised as made from 100% recycled materials, are sent to be pulped and reused for future collections.

Kamarq is taking a “fast fashion” approach to disrupting the market, says fashion designer and erstwhile Lady Gaga collaborator Nicola Formichetti, who, along with friend and creative consultant PJ Mattan was tapped to design and direct Kamarq’s debut collection. Their designs include modular shelves, seating, and tables in an array of bright, pop monochromes, made to mix and match in an accessible, lighthearted way. Arranged into elaborate color vignettes paired with miniature prototypes, lush flower arrangements, objets, toys, and other items from Formichetti and Mattan’s personal collections, the preview installation that debuted this week at NYCxDesign was an energetic display that touted a sugary lack of self-seriousness.

“We do other jobs, in fashion and elsewhere, so we just wanted to have this be a fun thing that’s also recyclable and ecological, and also reasonable in price, which is different from what’s happening in furniture. It’s like a styling approach to furniture, which is what the young generation needs,” Formichetti told me at the preview. Added Mattan: “We kept it intentionally very simple, because we’re not product designers or industrial designers, and we didn’t want to pretend we were.”

The duo’s debut collection for Kamarq is instantly alluring, accessible, priced to be affordable, and promises to be more ecological than most–a feat to achieve all in combination, to be sure. But like many fast fashion retailers that have been caught up in plagiarism accusations, it was almost immediately tied back to an independent designer’s work.

[Photo: Travis Chantar/courtesy Kamarq]

Formichetti and Mattan were forthright in naming some specific influences, all august Italian architect-designers: The Memphis Group, the contrarian and visually aggressive 1980s design collective founded by Ettore Sottsass, which has come back into teeming popularity among millennials, its riot of patterns and punchy graphic appeal well-suited to the visual currency of Instagram; Gaetano Pesce, the elder enfant terrible with a maximalist approach to material, color, and experimental sculpture; and the minimalist luxury designs of Mario Bellini, most apparently his Il Colonnato table for Cassina–variations of chunky cylindrical legs and simple geometric tops, all made of solid marble and stone, which often fetch thousands in the secondary market. Bellini’s iconic 1977 design is a clear reference for the Kamarq collection, all circles and lines and monochromes.

But it’s almost a dead ringer for Slon, a 2015 collection by the independent New York-based designer Ana Kras, who, also showing inspiration from Il Colonnato and Memphis, updated and edited the classic with several subtle twists. Bellini’s version, meant to evoke the columns of Stonehenge or the Parthenon, places each table leg slightly apart. Kras’s reimagining sets the design to an earthy palette, clusters the legs together, and rounds the collection out with seating and lidded stools that double as containers—as does Kamarq’s debut collection, on all three points. Where Kamarq and Kras deviate is the price point: Slon pieces start at $1,600, carried by the well-known New York gallery-boutique Matter. Fittingly, Slon, which translates to “elephant” in Kras’ native Serbian, might just be the elephant in the room.

This wouldn’t be the first time Kras, who is also a photographer and model, has seen brands run with her independent designs: In 2016, the fashion brand Marni released a collection of string-covered pendant lights that shared likenesses to her Bonbon collection.

Slon tables 2015 / designed for @mattermade @matterstore ???? OG

A post shared by Аna Kraš (@teget) on May 15, 2018 at 7:11pm PDT

Asked if the collection also referenced Kras’ design at yesterday’s morning preview, Formichetti and Mattan didn’t respond but instead eagerly showed me images of Bellini’s work on an iPad, flipping through variations of Il Colonnato. I wasn’t the only one to notice a likeness to Kras’ work, though: Later that afternoon, various designers began commenting on Formichetti and Mattan’s Instagram posts taken that morning, calling it out as a direct copy. For her part, Kras posted images from Slon on her Instagram account and website, bolstered by friends and followers proclaiming her design the original.

By the next day, the popular and feared Instagram account @dietprada—which tracks and pokes fun at offenders within fashion’s copycat culture—joined the scuffle and began posting receipts on Stories. One showed an old post from Mattan documenting his visit to see Slon at Matter when it launched in 2015. Shade moves fast in the social media world.

This morning, in an exclusive statement shared with Co.Design, Jamie Gray, the proprietor of Matter who developed Slon with Kras, was clear on his stance:

I think if Ana had never designed Slon and I had never produced it with her, I would totally agree with the Mario Bellini reference. If Ana had said that she was inspired by Bellini I’d say, yeah! But that’s not really what happened is it? In truth this is totally fucked up. PJ came to Ana’s show at Matter in 2015. And three years later he’s releasing a collection that references that collection, Slon. Or more to the point, copies Slon. Right down to the name. It’s bad enough that Instagram has become the de facto intern for many designers who without any filter copy what they see in their feed. But to walk in to Matter, see a collection, even post it to your own Instagram account and then release near replicas three years later under your own name. That’s just terrible. We’re all fighting to protect our IP and it’s obviously not easy. But I didn’t expect to see this from someone who’s been a supposed fan of Matter for years. And judging from the response to the collection on IG I’m not the only one that’s disappointed and angered to see respected people  in the design industry getting behind this. It’s just careless. And it’s disheartening to work so hard to develop and build something with integrity to then see it dumbed down, chewed up and spit back out as an original. I call bullshit.

Shortly after, Formichetti and Mattan shared the following statement via Kamarq’s publicists, announcing plans to recall portions of the collection, just one day into its launch:

This week we debuted our inaugural collection with Japanese brand, Kamarq. Part of the collection was heavily inspired by the elegant long legs of Mario Bellini’s set of Il Colonnato tables from the 1970’s. We acknowledge that certain pieces could be attributed to the work of designer Ana Kras, and out of respect for Ana, we will be removing these pieces from the collection. Kamarq is an ever-evolving brand that will strive to work with many different designers, and we remain respectful of and committed to supporting the creative community at large.

Reached for comment, Kras herself shared the following statement with Co.Design:

When I was sent the screengrab of a post about the Elephant collection by Kamarq few months ago – I laughed. Not only because the pieces looked very similar to my ‘Slon’ collection, but what stunned me the most is the fact they translated the name as well – since ‘Slon’ means ‘Elephant’ in Serbian, my mother tongue. Yesterday I was overwhelmed by the support of the community – so many people i don’t know messaged me pointing out the Kamarq launch of that same ‘Elephant’ collection in NYC – stating it’s a collaboration between PJ Mattan and Nicola Formichetti. On PJ Mattan’s instagram we can see a photo of my ‘Slon’ tables that he posted upon his visit to the launch at Matter store in 2015. We are all inspired by many things that we see and like, but to be “inspired” by the design so literally as to copy the design and name it the same way via translation to another language, to me seems very disrespectful.

While it’s safe to assume a “fast fashion” approach to anything would involve some form of pastiche, it would be cynical to excuse plagiarism. One thing is certain: In our hypervisual age of collage and constant #content creation, it can be decidedly hard to tell the snake’s head from its tail. The tide has turned for Kamarq, and in record time—faster than you can say “fast fashion.”

Kamarq, the “Netflix for furniture,” pulls designs amid plagiarism scandal published first on https://petrotekb.tumblr.com/

[tialovestelevision]

Dead Man's Party Part 2

39. “So, where do you want the band to set up?” “Band?” 40. Buffy has been trying to talk to her friends this whole episode. They’ve been keeping her from doing so. She’s trying to talk to Willow now, but the band Willow helped arrange to have present is playing loud enough Willow can’t hear. 41. And now Buffy’s trying to get Willow alone. 42. Buffy tries to communicate with Willow about perceived issues. Willow assures Buffy that everything is all right. The scene in the library made clear that everything was not, in fact, all right. 43. Evil mask is being evil again. 44. Xander is Xander. 45. Sunnydale has to have a constant labor shortage in emergency services and mortuary services. All the dead rising and killing the people around them… 46. “What’s the deal with this party, anyway?” “This party? I heard it was for some chick who just got out of rehab.” The episode has clearly communicated that Buffy’s friends have failed utterly at making her feel either welcome or wanted. 47. And now it’s Pat and Joyce. Talking. Honestly. Other than Joyce not mentioning that she threw Buffy out, of course. Because that couldn’t possibly be relevant to the story in this episode. And Joyce says a terrible thing just as Buffy enters earshot. I’d complain about them using a tired sitcom trope about people hearing things out of context and taking them the wrong way, except the context wouldn’t actually make what Joyce said better, so I’ll instead complain about the writers using the visuals of a classic sitcom trope to trick us into going where their moral point is instead of where the actual story we’re being told lands. 48. Buffy is packing to leave. That… seems entirely reasonable. Even without the obviously evil mask doing obvious evil. 49. Yay Giles! Figuring out that the obviously evil mask is obviously evil! 50. But the hootenanny is still happening so he’s not going to get through. 51. … Who just answers phones at other people’s houses? Is this a thing that happened? 52. Willow. Stop. Seriously. 53. “You don’t know what I was going through.” “I’d like to.” Then talk to her any of the bunch of time she tried to talk to you, Willow. Fuck, I hate this episode. 54. “How could I talk to you when you were avoiding me?” Question of the decade, Buffy. Does Willow want Buffy to tie her to a chair? 55. “This isn’t easy, Buffy! I know you’re going through stuff. So am I.” That whole speech by Willow fails to land because the episode’s moral point is so far lost. 56. “Do you like my mask? Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead!” Giles, never change. 57. Oh, and here’s Joyce, because there’s no bad scene she can’t make a hundred times worse. 58. She didn’t feel like taking off last time! You threw her out! 59. “You know what? I don’t care!” Color me unsurprised. You’ve never cared about Buffy’s boundaries, Joyce, or her dignity as a person. 60. “You put me through the ringer, Buffy.” You put yourself through the ringer, Joyce, when you threw her out. 61. “You told me! You’re the one who said I should go! You said if I leave this house don’t come back! You found out who I really was and you couldn’t deal with it. Remember?” Finally, finally, it’s said. 62. “Buffy, you didn’t give me time.” She gave you enough time to throw her out of the house, which turned out to be more time than she actually had. Imagine how differently the end of Season 2 might have gone if she hadn’t stuck around walking you through things that you should have seen long before! Giles might not have been hypnotized, Akathla might not have awoken, Buffy might have either saved Angel or been spared the pain of killing him after his soul was restored! She gave you every ounce of time she had to give you and more, and you threw her out of the house. 63. “Mom’s not perfect, okay! I handled it badly!” Understatement of the decade, Joyce. 64. And now Xander’s going to speak up. The dreaded Xander/Joyce double-team on Buffy’s confidence and dignity has finally arrived. Shouldn’t this be a season closer? This is scarier than the Master ever was. 65. “Did you even try talking to anyone?” Like the guy who lied to her about her boyfriend’s soul being restored, or the mother who threw her out of the house? How about her other friends, who were at hospitals and schools being guarded by police who were there to arrest her for a murder she didn’t commit? Or all the times she’s tried to talk to people since she got back? Fuck, Xander. Just fuck. 66. Giles knows how to hotwire a car. Of course he does. 67. “Most girls don’t hop a bus over boy troubles.” No, they hop a bus over being made homeless when their parents throw them out, and over being fugitives because they’re falsely accused of murder. 68. We should know they aren’t vampires because they got in the house. 69. Pat’s dead, isn’t she? And now she’s a zombie and they just took her to where they’re trying to make safe. 70. Yep. Pat’s dead. And the mask just woke her up. 71. Stunning flashes of light! That’s new! Defenestration isn’t, but it’s one of Buffy’s best moves. 72. The deconjuring of the zombies should help with cleanup. That’s nice, I suppose. 73. Everything seems to be all right, now. Why is everything all right? Willow, and especially Xander and Joyce, said basically unforgivable things in this episode. I… don’t like how fast that’s let go. 74. “This girl will have the education to which she is entitled. You can make that happen, or I can end you then sue the city.” Giles is terrifying and lovely. That scene would have saved an episode about half as bad as this one. 75. Can I just ignore this whole last scene? It hurts. Overall: Holy fucking fuck that was bad. I mean, I remember it being one of the weaker episodes, but damn. That was terrible. It utterly missed its moral point, it took characters (Willow in particular, Cordelia a bit) way out of their usual personalities, and it was basically a solid hour counting commercials/pauses to blog of pure victim blaming. I hated every minute of it except the scene between Giles and Snyder, which was lovely. I don’t understand how that got made. Having gotten made, I don’t understand how it got to air. I’d watch the Star Trek Voyager episode where they go really fast and turn into lizards before I’d watch that again. I hated that episode.