#i mean that with my whole chest lol i love when people just do whatever the FUCK they want

[behoright]

ultraviolet disguise l s. crosby

don’t be so naive / you know that you are all I see

summary: Sid makes you apologize after you give him attitude all night.

wordcount: i literally don’t know how to word count on my iPad please someone tell me I swear it’s not too long maybe 4k

song: tonight you are mine - the technicolors

warnings: minors dni! Contains a whole lot of cursing and smut. Quite degrading and rough as well, so please read at your own discretion.

a/n: plotless, plotless smut. poor proofreading lol. When I say I would let this man do anything to me, I mean it. Feel free to fill my inbox with your thots. Love you always.

(＞。☆) ✒️ ˚‧ ⌗ ⌗ ⌗ ⺌

“Where is she?”

“Can someone go find her?”

Your group of friends was currently shivering on the sidewalk, in the Nova Scotia winter, as they drunkenly waited for their rides to take them home. All necessary interactions exchanged, and many waiting to happen behind closed doors, only a couple of people were sober enough to round up everyone and finally call it a night.

Sidney being one of them, noticed instantly they had left you behind.

In all honesty, he was cranky and tired, the frustration having built up from babysitting a bunch of wasted people.

“Isn’t she a grown ass woman or whatever. She can figure it out on her own.” someone slurred.

“Alright, I’m not missing our Uber because of this.” Sidney said, making his way back inside the bar with a huff. No one was coherent enough to go back in there anyways.

The place was packed, people happily mingling at every corner; thankfully, Sid had a great height advantage to almost everyone, so was able to spot you effortlessly through the chattering crowd.

As he walked over to you, thoughts and memories of the messiness that constituted your friendship plagued him, his heart quickening pace inside him.

“Are you done or what?” he spoke loudly above the music and chaos.

“Almost.” you said as you barely turned around to acknowledge him.

“Everyone’s waiting for you, let’s go.” He replied impatiently.

“I’m waiting for this guy to gi-”

“I really don’t care. We’re leaving.” he said, strictly, inching his body towards you and the exit.

Sidney used his physical edge to push you through the crowd, hurrying you with his haste steps right behind you.

“I don’t need you to do this, you know? I’m an adult.” you hissed as you kept walking.

“Well, then maybe start acting like one.”

“Dude, what the hell is your problem?” you exclaimed, turning around and bumping into his chest. Despite your size difference, Sidney felt like he ran into a brick wall.

He sighed, grabbing your arm harshly and pulling you into the nearby bathroom.

“What is your problem?” he said, raising his voice while locking the door behind him.

No one was going to use the bathroom until he figured out where your attitude was coming from.

“I haven’t done anything to you, Sidney.” you muttered.

“Oh yeah? You’ve been acting like a bitch the whole night.”

“Woah. What would the press say about hometown superstar Sidney Crosby using this kinda language?” you snickered, crossing your arms.

“Why are you being so… mean?” Sidney’s eyes narrowed at you.

“What are you talking about?”

“Just, fucking, pushing me away all night, like I don’t even exist.”

“Well, I’m sorry I don’t kiss your ass like everyone around here does.” you said, rolling your eyes.

“That’s NOT what it is and you know it.” he yapped.

“I thought you said I needed to stay away from you. I’m too young or whatever.”

Sidney hadn’t rejected you per se, but at that moment, you both recalled the conversation from a while ago.

The conversation that was supposed to put all flirting to a half.

From both of you.

Supposed to.

“It’s not only that, Y/N. You’re Mike’s niece, it’s not right.” he replied, running his hands through his dark hair.

“Fine! Then why are you so mad when I ignore you?” you prompted, throwing your hands up.

“Not only did you mostly ignore me, you, were fucking rude the rest of the time, and I mean, you’re obviously so fucking desperate too.” Sidney almost word vomited, clearly ignoring most of what you said.

“How, Sidney? Literally, how?”

“I mean, look at what you’re wearing!”

“I meant how was I rude.” you said, making him blush at the miscommunication, too embarrassed to even respond. “Why are you worried about my dress so much?” you teased.

“Oh my god, you’re so fucking annoying.”

You knew what this was.

Like a child, throwing a tantrum to get their mother’s attention, basically.

It was obvious to you that bowing down to his ridiculous comments wasn’t an option.

Not yet.

“You like it?” you said, running your hands down the cheap fabric that sat tightly against your body.

“No, I did not say that. I don’t like it.” he muttered, slightly looking away from you.

There was something quite entertaining about rendering a huge, masculine man down to this blubbering of a mess.

“Why not? Is it too slutty for you?” you laughed.

Sidney’s eyes were burning into you, now quite differently than before, as he turned his attention back to you fully.

Nevertheless, he remained silent.

“You holding back, Sid? Why? You don’t want to call me a slut to my face?”

“I would never do that.” he hit back, his low voice echoing in the tiled bathroom.

Looking out of the small window for a second, you sighed. It was too late, and everyone was waiting anyways.

Perhaps tonight you’d throw in the towel. He obviously already had.

“Whatever. We need to go anyways.” you said, walking towards the door.

“No, we’re not leaving until I get an apology from you.” he hit back, positioning himself between you and the exit.

Or… maybe he hadn’t, you thought, seeing that spark still in his voice.

“Good fucking luck with that.” you laughed.

“Just say you’re sorry.”

“I should be asking for the same thing, I mean, you’ve been pretty rude.”

“Because you were rude first!” he exclaimed, throwing his arms up.

“Do you hear yourself? I thought you were the “real” adult here.” you snickered.

He took a step closer just to have you take a step back.

There was no conceding tonight, actually.

He wasn’t getting any apology out of you anytime soon, and the more you stood your ground, the heavier his chest began to heave.

Unbeknownst to him, you knew Sidney perhaps too well.

He was simply too easy to read, always hiding under the hockey personality facade.

It might have fooled anyone else, especially, any other girl, but not you.

Throughout the months you had spent together, it had been incredibly simple to get to know him.

It was only after he distanced himself away from you that you decided to press his buttons.

He fell for it each time, his impulsiveness and real, undercover feelings exposing him and failing your tests constantly.

“You’re really, really pushing it tonight, Y/N.” he muttered.

“Fuck if I care.” you said, raising your shoulders.

Poor Sid, you thought, such masochistic tendencies he had.

If he could only burst his media trained bubble for a second, you could’ve had fun with that together.

“Fucking say sorry.” he repeated, once again.

He was slowly beginning to unravel, his feelings showing clearly through the tense muscles of his body language.

“Or what, Sidney?”

“God, you’re such a fucking brat.” he said, raising his voice, louder than ever before.

“Oh, there he is. Finally, you’re saying what you really think.” you smiled sweetly at him.

“You’re so fucking spoiled, it’s driving me insane.” he said, keeping the slow walk going towards you.

“Keep going, Sid, you’re just making this more enjoyable for me.”

“Yeah, of course this kinda of shit turns you on.”

“You’re one to talk.” you say, flicking your eyes down at the noticeable bulge in Sidney’s pants.

“We’re at a club, Y/N. Not everything is about you.” he said, rolling his eyes and yet attempting to close the space between you two.

“Then why are you here with me?”

“Because you won’t listen to me!” he exclaimed, his legs still moving towards you. “Is this what i have to do to get you to listen?”

“…Yes.” you whispered, and Sidney felt like he finally was starting to break you down.

“Drop the act, Y/N. Tell me what’s going on.” he sighed.

By now, Sidney had covered all the space in the bathroom, and found himself face to face with you against the wall, your fiery eyes looking up at him.

You had walked around in circles enough with him, literally and figuratively.

“If I could spit in your face I fucking would.” you said roughly, your eyes stuck inside his chocolate eyes.

“Do it, then.” he said, his face tilted down towards yours.

“Enough, Sidney.”

The smirk that you had so proudly sported all this time was long gone, Sid building up enough courage to now talk back to you.

“I thought you wanted to? Do it, then. Spit in my face.” he encouraged, smugly.

“You fucking wish.” you said, pushing against him with your chest.

“Woah, woah, calm down, now.” he chuckled, his fingers wrapping around your arms to keep you against the cold tiles of the bathroom.

You couldn’t hide the way his touch made you feel - you had dreamed to be in his hands for a while, and feeling him now just made you wetter.

Unfortunately for you, he noticed right away, his expression morphing into puzzlement as he took you in.

“Look at you. You like this, don’t you?” he asked, incredulous.

“Never in a million years.”

“Then what is this?”

Sidney’s eyes flickered down to your breasts, the hard nipples poking through your dress instantly giving you away.

“It’s cold, Sid.”

“I don’t know, your skin feels pretty warm under my hands.” he raised him eyebrows, moving his hands slightly up and down.

Plan foiled.

“Is this what this is all about?” he questioned, but you kept your lips zipped in frustration.

Sidney took an impossible step forward, your chests coming in contact.

“If I touch you down here, Y/N, what will I find?” he asked, trailing his fingers down your left arm gently.

“I don’t know, maybe if you ever fucked a girl before you’d know.”

“That’s a good one, baby.” he laughed. He couldn’t help it, seeing you so feisty just… for him.

That was all you wanted, apparently.

He kept his eyes locked onto yours, looking for approval as he lingered his fingers in front of your sex. As he got what he needed, he wasted no time in moving your underwear to the side.

“That’s what it is. You’re just dying to get fucked right.”

Sidney whispered a heavenly oh my god as his calloused, thick fingers rubbed your folds.

“Did raising my voice make you feel all hot inside?” he asked.

“No.”

“You’re fucking soaking my fingers, Y/N. Quit lying.”

He knew he could stretch you out immensely just by using a couple of his digits; but he decided not to, taking his touch just to your entrance and circling your clit, with no added pressure, making your head painfully fall back.

“I’m barely touching you and you’re already moaning. You’re so desperate, aren’t you?” he coaxed.

No witty come back spewed out of your mouth, the slight relief and building anticipation of indulgence growing deeper within you.

“You really want to be put in your place, huh? That’s all you want?”

His touch had you at a loss for words; you could barely nod in between needy whines.

“Stroke my cock, c’mon.” he said, his voice husky as ever, as he placed your hand on top of the swollen erection that was poking through his dress pants.

It was becoming hard to focus, hard to touch him right, Sidney refusing to dip his fingers at any point inside you, instead just painfully teasing you.

“Oh, you just think I’m going to fuck you like that?” he asked, dropping his hands away from you.

“Fuck no. Work for it.” he said aggressively. “Get on your knees.”

Your knees found the floor promptly, betraying your will but getting a satisfied smirk out of him.

“Look how obedient you’re being now, huh?” Sidney said, his fingers fastly undoing his pants in front of you. “Open up, baby. Let me see your tongue.”

Sidney slapped his cock on your tongue a couple of times before thrusting inside your mouth, not giving you a chance at any action but to wrap your lips around his girthy cock instantaneously, moaning in satisfaction.

“Holy fuck.” he moaned, letting his head lull forward with his bottom lip secured under his teeth. “This is what I have to do, isn’t it? I have to treat you like this, for you to-, to-, fuck, oh my god.”

You pulled Sidney’s length into your throat, your muscles tightening in a gag around his thick head, mostly in order to break him further and to stop his gloating.

“God, where did you learn how to do that, fuck.” he groaned deeply, lacing his fingers in your hair, instinctively massaging your scalp sweetly.

“You’re so much nicer when you’re choking on my dick like this.” he continued, his thighs tightening and clenching under your hands as you bobbed your head on him, thick saliva building at the back of your throat as you somehow devoured him more and more.

If he was holding back any moaning, it was hard to tell, his abs visibly clenching whenever you took him deeper and he, consequently, moaned louder.

“This is a good, good way to say sorry, baby.” he growled, his head thrown back, but stopping your motions right away.

“I’m not saying sorry, Sidney.” you said, pulling away from his cock so quickly that you were left with a trail of spit connecting you back to his glistening head.

He felt his chest fill with anger and lust, desire.

All he wanted to do was take you home and fuck you until you couldn’t talk back to him any longer. He instinctively wrapped his fist tightly around your hair, pulling you up by your locks.

“Look how messy you are.” he muttered as you came to your feet, his big eyes trailing over your shimmering chin, dripping in spit and precum. “Come here.”

Sidney shoved his tongue inside you, placing his other hand around your throat gently. He loved to keep your head steady as he overwhelmed your mouth, running his tongue over yours with no rhythm or caution, simply taking whatever he wanted.

“I guess I just have to fuck this attitude out of you.” he said against your lips as he pulled away breathless. “Face the fucking wall.”

As he turned you around, you did your best to hide the huge smirk on your face. He was finally going to give you what you both so desperately wanted; despite what he said, Sidney’s actions had always proved different than his words.

He hated that he had such a hard time resisting you, that he spent his night thinking about you with his cock throbbing in his hand, but he couldn’t wait anymore.

The rubber band had finally snapped.

Sidney squeezed your ass, your silky flesh crinkling in exquisite pain through your thin dress. He kept marking you with his fingertips as his other hand roughly pulled down your minuscule underwear, letting it trickle down your legs as he directed your ass towards him.

He tried to keep his composure as he pulled your dress up, the traces of his fingernails on your skin illuminated by the small ray of the street lamp that came through the high bathroom window.

It was hitting you perfectly, actually, so much so that he could see the glob of your wetness leaking out of your entrance, your pussy angled perfectly towards him.

“I would tell you how pretty you look like this but you don’t deserve it.” he spit out, beginning to stroke his member up and down your slit.

“You’re so fucking needy for me. I can’t believe how wet you are, God.”

Without warning, Sidney filled you up completely, ripping a gasp out of you as he gave you no time to adjust. His size made it hard to breathe or even keep your legs from wobbling already.

“Yeah, you’re not used to taking big cocks like this, aren’t you.” he questioned, readjusting the grip in your hair once again. “Well, you’re going to tonight.”

He began to fuck you, almost savagely, every mouthwatering plunge hitting your cervix and stretching you to your max. Sidney grunted deeply every time he moved. He knew that as much as he tried to keep it together, you could see the cracks within him, giving into you. But he knew he couldn’t back down without teaching you a lesson.

“Say sorry.” he groaned in your ear, but all he got in response were sweet moans.

Frustrated, Sidney picked up the pace, slamming himself harder against you and inside you. Your body rebounded against the wall harder every time, an aching starting to cover every inch of your skin, seeping within you and mixing with the unrelenting desire that he was sending through your being.

Whenever he wanted, Sid would move his right hand, squeezing and grabbing any bit of you that pleased him.

He was big enough to have access to your every part.

The back of your thigh, or the side of your tummy were covered in his fingertips, flecks of his rough handling beginning to dot all over you.

Your nipples oversensitized, having been rubbed against the freezing tiles through the fabric of your dress were the only sensation cooling you down as he kept increasing his rhythm, his heart pounding heavily against your back.

“Yeah, I bet that feels good, doesn’t it?” he said, tilting your head so he could see you. “Look at those pretty eyes rolling back. Fuck.”

The sounds that filled up the room were filthy, he thought.

Sidney felt primal, taking you in the bathroom of a sleazy bar, not because he had let himself go, but because it pleased him to put you in your place.

The buckle of his bell dinging against his pants as he sped up.

His heavy breathing fusing with your candied moans, reverberating against the empty stalls.

The squelching of your bodies united, drops of want and longing and frustration running down both of your legs, splattering against the ground or soaking his pubic hair - it was so dirty and out of character for him.

Only you drove him to this.

Knowing that he was the only one that could hear this, all of it being covered by the muffled sounds of the raging bar outside, made him grip your hair a little tighter each time he focused on it.

This was the closest he had ever been to your face. Underneath the light sheen of makeup, he could see your skin turning a deeper shade of red; those big and thick lashes he loved so much batting irregularly. He noticed you wanted to regulate your response to him, attempting stupidly to keep your pupils focused on him instead of oscillating to the back of your head once again.

But he could see right through you.

He could see you struggle, with your telling high pitched moans, trembling underneath his touch.

It exasperated him. Delightfully.

“You want to cum so badly, don’t you? Yeah?” he asked, almost mockingly.

You nodded, the pull from his hand making the roots of your hair sting more and more, pulling your face in such a pathetic way that kept Sid’s cock covered in wetness.

“Too fucking bad. You don’t get to until you apologize.” he barked, pressing your heating cheek against the wall.

Your defiance was obvious; you decided to keep this little game going a while longer, considering it made him so mad and delirious, pushing his pelvis so forcibly against you that your ass bounced audibly on him.

“Apologize. Be good, c’mon.” he uttered in your ear, doing his best at holding back his groans as he slowed his thrusts down.

Playing was for two people, after all, and he knew the change of pace would be what you despised the most. It was immediately evident, groans of desperation pouring out of you.

Still, you could see stars of pleasure as you squeezed your eyes tightly in anguish.

“Now, Y/N.” he demanded, a hand coming down to spank you harshly.

If it was up to him, he would have kept this going forever.

He had thought about a million ways to punish you throughout the whole night.

You were lucky he only had a public bathroom available at the moment.

He could feel you on the verge of breaking, both in the cracks of your voice, the fact that you were pushing back at him slightly, your body looking for more, and of course, your cunt clamping firmly on his cock through the wetness. He made the decision to keep the thought to himself as an attempt to keep you as tamed as he had you at the moment.

All he needed was to slow down even more.

As adorable as your squeals were, and as much as they made his dick twitch noticeably inside you, he wasn’t going to let up.

“I’m sorry, Sid.”

Eureka.

For once, Sidney had the upper hand. He made you putty in his hands and you equally knew it.

“Good job.” he said, fucking you roughly again.

He went back up to max, tightening his jaw as your pussy sent waves of toe curling pleasure down his cock. He was leaking inside you, precum spilling all over and painting your insides.

“I’m so sorry, Sidney, I’m sorry.” you repeated, his eyes on your face.

“That’s okay, baby. Just once was good, love. You’re so good. So good.” he said placing his lips against your cheek.

The act of tenderness made you quiver.

If you had let up once, you could finally fully let go.

You could feel his pupils dilating in lust as your mouth was stuck open, blaring your sobs and cries as your orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks.

Ceaseless in his fucking, he seemed to thrust harder as he got closer too.

Sidney refrained from rubbing your clit. He wanted to, yet this was still a punishment.

“Atta girl.” he coaxed. “Keep coming for me, baby. Can you do that?”

You nodded dumbstruck, your eyes crossing deplorably as you kept shaking in bliss.

Sidney was focused on you; he noticed a silver thread of spit leave your bottom lip, your face still roughly pushed against the wall with his force, and he lost it.

“I need to cum, baby, I’m going to cum inside you, fuck.” he hastily groaned.

He growled deeply, thrusting all the way inside you and grinding into his orgasm as his cock let out hot cum within you.

“Fuck, baby, fuck.” his growls were deafening, numbing you and traveling throughout the stuffy air.

As you came down, you could feel him spasming yet inside you, his face still furrowed in a heated sweat - he had bottomed out inside ou, his strong pelvis lifting you a couple of inches off the ground, levitating under his gratification.

Soreness began to overtake you as the pleasure let down, all of Sidney’s muscles relaxing into you with a sigh; your heels clicked as he let you back off the wall slightly, pulling his cock out of you as he was still huffing.

The pain hurt so good for you both, breathing against each other as you tried to catch your breath at the same time.

“Look at me.” he said, turning you around so quickly you could have lost your balance, especially after he fucked you like that. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Seeing his usual sweetness come back made your heart swell, a smile growing on your face.

“I’m okay, Sid.” you said, biting your lip shyly.

“Now, what we’re going to do is…” he began after kissing your forehead, bending down to pull your underwear up, “put these on, keep my cum inside you, okay? Like a good girl, yeah, while we go out and grab a ride to my place. Yeah?”

You nodded, aroused that he wanted to keep this going.

“Good job.” Sidney placed his hand on your lower back, walking you to the door. “I’m not done with you yet.”

[imaginespazzi]

Part 3: Shades of Grey

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

That's the thing about illicit affairs (they lie and they lie and they lie)

(In which a masochistic writer makes things difficult for herself and makes things even messier than they were before)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, a little bit of Hurt/Comfort and Fluff as always

Words: 7.2K (nice and short as always)

TW: Explicit Sexual Content (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Cheating

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of sticking to my deadlines, who woulda thunk it? Fun fact, I'm at ~ 50 google-doc pages with this fic and despite my constant "trying to write less" rants, I'm actually lowkey proud of that. Anyways, there's a pretty clear hint (I am not a subtle person) as to why what happens at the end happens and if you pick up on it, I promise it'll save you from losing your minds till I write part 4. Also a couple of logistical details about the Cayman Islands are probably off but it's what worked so it's what I did, just pretend lol. Per usual, I did edit, there's probably still typos any way, feel free to point them out. And as always, let me know what you liked, what you didn't and what you'd like to see in the future. Happy reading and have a wonderful rest of your week lovelies!

August 2021

The fight was inevitable but neither of them can tell you what really lit the flame. One second they had been fine (well as fine as two girls who knew tonight was their last night in a while could be), the next they were hurling bullets at each other. There’s a subconscious part of Azzi’s brain that tells her to grab Paige and duck for cover, to preserve whatever little bit of friendship they can. But her whole body vibrates with anger as Paige’s words crash around her like a tsunami, drowning out the good angel on her shoulder that’s pleading with her to stop. 

“It’s a good thing really. You and your non-existent nerves would have never survived playing for UConn,” Paige sneers, and that mean smirk on her face just doesn’t quite fit right, “I don’t know what I was thinking with that honestly. You’re not built like that.”

Azzi flinches, eyes blazing, “some of us want to be more than just another good UConn player.”

“That’s what all the people not good enough to play for UConn say,” Paige retorts bitterly and Azzi doesn’t think she knows this girl standing in front of her, one whose words are aimed to make her cry instead of laugh. 

“Not good enough and yet you still wanted me on your team.”

“Nah you know what, my bad, I didn’t realise you’d fucking stab me in the back like that, �� Paige hisses, “you’re a fake as fuck friend and you’d probably make a shit teammate.”

Azzi’s never had a heart attack. She doesn’t even fully think she knows what a heart attack really is. But she’s certain this pain in her chest can’t possibly be anything less than one. It starts at her heart and then spreads to her lungs and then floods through her body, until she can’t move, she can’t breathe. 

“You don’t mean that,” she whispers. 

Paige hesitates, as if suddenly aware of the fragility of the moment, her voice considerably softer when she speaks but she doesn’t take it back, “ real friends choose each other.”

“Oh my god,” Azzi laughs, it’s the worst thing she could do in the moment and Paige’s eyes flash with anger, “you’re so fucking full of yourself.”

“Watch your fucking mouth-”

“Don’t you even dare. You say all that shit to me and now you can’t hear some of it back? Contrary to what you might think Paige, my whole life doesn’t revolve around you. My decision for where to spend the next four fucking years, does not revolve around you,” Azzi’s voice rises with each word. 

Fighting is cathartic in a way. They’ve spent almost a year delicately tip-toeing around the subject, growing further and further apart and yet still holding on for dear life. And Azzi doesn’t want to let go, but everything feels burning hot, and her hands are starting to blister. 

“Oh you’ve made that very clear,” Paige bites back, “you’ve made it very clear just how little I mean to you.”

“Because I chose a different school? That’s all it took Paige, seriously? That’s all it took for you to call our friendship fake?”

“No what it took Azzi was you being a fucking liar.”

“I didn’t lie about anything.”

Paige scoffs, her voice taking on a pitchy mocking tone, “ ‘I’d love to play with you Paige’, ‘being on the same team would be nice P’,  all of that fucking bullshit when you didn’t mean any of it.”

“Oh we’re playing that game,” Azzi seethes, “how about ‘Az I’d support you no matter what’ huh? Where did all of that go?”

“Maybe if you didn’t make stupid decisions then.”

“No, actually choosing not to play with you might have been my smartest decision yet,” as soon as the words are out, there’s a part of Azzi that wishes she could wrench them back in. 

“Right,” Paige’s voice is eerily quiet now, “well I hope that works out well for you then. Go to UCLA Azzi, have a great fucking life and stay the fuck away from mine.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Azzi takes a cautious step towards the blonde and almost immediately, Paige steps backwards, her expression suddenly blank. The change to indifference is somehow worse than the previous malice, “Paige-”

“Fuck this, I’m going home,” Paige says resolutely, her fingers fidgeting with themselves as she reaches for her phone and wallet. 

“We need to talk this out, we need to try and fix this,” Azzi all but pleads, trying to position herself in front of the persistent older girl who’s trying to make her way to the door. 

“I don’t know if I want to fucking fix this,” Paige yells, shaking away Azzi’s hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know if it’s worth it,” her voice breaks as she says the next words, “I don’t even think  I wanna be friends.”

When Azzi’s 14, Paige Bueckers dribbles through a USA basketball camp court straight into her life and teaches her all about how one person can come into your life and carve out a permanent shelf. When Azzi’s 16, Paige’s casual smiles and not-so-insignificant touches teach her all about the complicated space in-between just friends and something more. When Azzi’s 18, Paige says those words, ones that sound a lot like giving up, and teaches Azzi that sometimes in life, even the people you thought would never make you feel this way, are the ones who'll break you the most. And that’s the day Azzi makes a promise to herself that she’ll never give someone that part of herself again, unaware that when she’s 20, Paige will teach her that some promises are meant to be broken. 

***

July 2023

Azzi doesn’t know what god she pissed off to get herself into this position, stuck in a booth with Zoe on one side and Paige on the other. Her girlfriend’s left hand is placed firmly on her thigh and Azzi has to fight the vehement urge to shake it away because Zoe’s normally soft, sweet touch feels itchy and heavy. But the way Paige’s biceps are pressed against hers might be even worse. Every time the blonde moves a little, the sliding of her smooth skin against Azzi’s arms, sends a jolt of electricity through her veins. And Azzi doesn’t know when she became that girl, the girl who already has someone to hold her but is desperately craving somebody else’s touch. 

When people’s girlfriends surprise them with an unexpected visit, the appropriate reaction is to be overwhelmed with happiness. Except since she’d met her, Azzi’s summers have always belonged to Paige. With them having lived in separate states most of their lives, it was the one time they got to be with each other for an extended period of time. It was an unspoken rule really, one that they had subconsciously still followed the year before when Azzi had shown up at Paige’s door, even if they’d only gotten the last couple of weeks of the season; summer was theirs. So, when Zoe had shown up that afternoon with a bright smile and shining eyes, all Azzi had been able to register was a sense of loss as Paige pulled her hand out of Azzi’s. 

Introductions had been somewhat awkward. Her parents knew of Zoe, but hadn’t met her yet. They were nice of course, her dad pulling the shorter girl into one of his bear hugs and her mom giving her a warm smile. Jon and José were more awkward, nodding their greetings but making no move to actually welcome her. Paige had managed to muster up a smile, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes, and shake the other girl’s outstretched hand. And then there was Drew, whose normally goofy smile seemed to have disappeared. 

“Who are you?” the young boy had asked quizzically, his eyebrows crinkling together. 

“Oh umm, I’m uh- Azzi’s girlfriend,” Zoe had replied, the last word causing Paige to involuntarily flinch. 

Drew had looked over to Azzi then, his eyes wide and accusing, “you can’t be Azzi’s girlfriend.”

“Is that so?” Zoe hummed, clearly not taking him seriously. 

“It is,” Drew had said petulantly, ignoring Paige’s warning squeeze, “she’s Paige’s.”

The silence after had been deafening, as Azzi tried to stop herself from choking on air. Eventually Paige had regained her senses first, apologising for her younger brother’s lack of filter (“he says stupid things all the time”) and then Azzi’s dad had swooped in before things could possibly get any more awkward, proposing that they all go out to dinner. And that’s how Azzi has ended up here, shuffled in a booth, opposite her parents, with Paige on one side and Zoe on the other. Life really and truly isn’t on her side these days. 

“So girls, what are y’all pizza orders?” Tim asks jovially. Azzi’s brothers and Drew, desperate to go enjoy the sun (and avoid Zoe), had already told them their orders before zooming to the park right outside the restaurant. 

“Oh uh- Az you wanna share a Margherita pizza?”

“Azzi and I’ll just have our usual.”

It’s as if the world wants Azzi to suffer as both Zoe and Paige immediately look at her expectantly. The girl in question keeps her eyes focused on the menu in front of her, unsure how to best handle this predicament by doing anything other than maybe just running out of the restaurant. 

“What’s your usual?” Zoe asks, her voice all curiosity and no ill-intent. 

“Grilled chicken and bacon with spinach and onions.”

“But Azzi doesn’t like onions, she says they make-”

“They make her breath smell I know,” there’s a hard edge to Paige’s voice, “but she-”

“She can’t pick them off. She can’t pick anything off of her pizza because it takes-”

“It takes the cheese off, I know that too. That’s not what I was going to say. She doesn’t eat them because she thinks they make her breath smell but she does like them. It’s just-,” Paige’s eyes flare with mischief, “she only eats them around people who are close to her. Guess you’re not quite there yet.”

Since Azzi had mustered up the courage to finally tell Paige about Zoe, right before summer break started, Paige had been nothing but respectful, supportive even. Until tonight apparently and Azzi doesn’t even know to react to the fact that her best friend has started a pissing contest over fucking onions. 

“Right,” Zoe bites her lips, her ever-present smile slipping slightly as she slowly pries the menu out of Azzi’s hands and looks at her with hopefully eyes, “but we’ll get the Margherita tonight babe?”

“I-” and Azzi really should say yes, side with Zoe like the good girlfriend she is, except, well, all she can think about is that Paige hasn’t smiled since the California girl had arrived in D.C., “I think um- I’ll stick to my usual Zo, I’m sorry.”

She’s a terrible girlfriend, because immediately Zoe’s smile fades, and Azzi barely notices it, too busy watching Paige’s grin light up her face. Her baby blue eyes sparkle as if she’s won some important battle and it’s not even dark yet, but Azzi swears it feels like the stars have come out. 

“Okay,” Tim says slowly, looking between the three younger girls, as he waives over the waitress, “if that’s decided then.”

The issue with Paige being pretty, is that nobody’s really immune to it, including the cheerful waitress that practically skips over to serve them. Her eyes glaze over a little bit as they roam across the blonde’s face and then to her arms before drifting down to her torso. Paige’s tank top doesn’t leave much to the imagination, exposing both her muscled biceps and toned torso and Azzi doesn’t need an x-ray to know the widely appropriate thoughts going through the waitress’s head. The feral roar of mine takes birth in her stomach and the quieting whisper of she’s not does little to subdue it. 

“I’m Libby,” the waitress says, tongue darting across her lips, eyes solely focused on Paige, “and I’ll be your server today.”

Libby collects orders dutifully, polite and agreeable, but doesn’t once fully look away from the blonde, practically drooling once she finally gets to her, “and what can I get for you to drink babe?” 

Azzi’s not sure whether it’s the sultry tone or the nickname that gets Paige’s attention, but all of a sudden her best friend is staring up at the waitress with her own flirty smile. She likes to think she’s not a particularly violent person, but Azzi thinks she might end up in jail for homicide tonight. 

“Well babe,” Paige winks, Azzi wants to die, “what would you recommend?”

Libby smirks, clearly feeling triumphant as she leans on the table, one hand reaching out to brush Paige’s forearm, “sex on the beach.”

Several things happen at once. Tim chokes on a breadstick. Katie immediately thumps him on the back. Zoe lets out a laugh. Azzi’s nails break the skin of her palm, drawing blood as she fists both of hands. And then-

“She has a girlfriend,” it’s a blatantly untrue but all Azzi can think about is stopping this  random girl from eye-fucking her Paige. It does the trick, Libby’s eyes go comically wide, as she steps back from the table, from Paige. 

“She does?” Tim asks. Next to him, Katie, shoots her daughter a knowing look that veers on the edge of disappointment. 

Azzi stutters under the heat of Paige’s glare, the blonde clearly unamused by her lie, “I uh- I mean um- it’s not official but um yeah,” she doesn’t even sound convincing to herself, “I’m uh- I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

She practically shoves Paige out of the booth so she can climb out of it herself, adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her heart hammers in her chest and she tries to block out the sound of Paige’s being questioned by her dad, as she rushes into the restroom. 

There’s no amount of water she could splash on her face to make this heat go away, but she tries anyway, unsure of when the tap water starts to blend in with the tears streaming down her face. The unsettling anger of how dare she flirt with another girl beating in her heart is replaced by the guilt of i’m not allowed to feel this way thrashing around her rib cage. It hurts all the same, as Azzi clutches her chest, trying to even out her breathing.

She doesn’t hear the door open or close until, “What the fuck was that?”

“Get out,” Azzi whispers, closing her eyes and leaning her head on the mirror, “just give me a second okay?”

“Oh no, no, no, you owe me a huge fucking explanation right now,” Paige hisses, “what the fuck was that bullshit? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“It was a joke-” before Azzi can even finish the sentence, there’s a hand on her biceps, forcing her to turn around. When she opens her eyes, Paige’s face is far too close to her own and when she tries to move back, she’s trapped with the cool edge of the sink. It’s too much, the proximity, the tension, the lingering touch of Paige’s fingers curled around her arm. 

“Stop lying,” Paige bites out. 

“It just slipped out babe,” and fuck, Azzi absolutely hadn’t meant to add that last part, hadn’t meant to make it so obvious what exactly had triggered her little outburst. Realisation flashes across Paige’s face, as she takes a step back, letting go of Azzi, and the distance should be freeing, but instead it just makes her feel lost.  

“That’s what this is about?” the blonde asks in disbelief. 

“Yes- no- I don’t know, okay,” Azzi’s voice is high-pitched, “I’m sorry okay. I’ll tell the waitress it was a joke,” she lets out a humourless laugh, “I didn’t mean to fucking cockblock you.”

“Cockblock me? Dude I wasn’t trying to fuck the waitress what the fuck?”

“Could’ve fooled me babe,” Azzi sneers. 

Something menacing flashes in Paige’s eyes, “stop calling me that.”

“What? You don’t like me calling you babe. You didn’t seem to have a problem when it was her.” 

“Oh my fucking god Azzi,” Paige throws her hands up, “you don’t get to do this. Not when your girlfriend is sitting right there.”

The reminder of Zoe is like being splashed with cold water and Azzi feels everything inside of her freeze. She grips the edge of the sink, trying to find some semblance of balance as Paige continues to glare at her. 

“For the past few hours, I have had to hear your girlfriend call you every fucking nickname in the book. I have had to watch her kiss you and move your hair back and grip your fucking knee under the table,” with every sentence, Paige inches closer and closer, until she’s accentuating every word by pushing her index finger into Azzi’s chest, “and you can’t even fucking deal with me calling some other girl babe?”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers when Paige’s voice breaks on the last word. Their faces are so close, she can feel the other girl’s uneven breathing all over her skin. And it takes everything in her to not cave in and reach a hand out to caress away the tear that's threatening to fall from the blonde’s tearline. 

“It’s been hell Azzi,” Paige spits out, “so you don’t get to be upset if I want to fuck someone-”

Something snaps and before Paige can complete the offending sentence, before she can imprint an image that will forever haunt Azzi’s mind, Azzi silences all the warning bells of why she really shouldn’t, and pulls her best friend into a searing kiss. Immediately, Paige’s hands come to rest against Azzi’s hips, pressing her firmly against the edge of the sink. It’s as if they’re trying to meld their bodies together, both of them gripping each other as close as possible. Outside, it’s a summer evening of clear blue skies, but here in this random restaurant restroom, lightning strikes.

Paige bites at Azzi’s bottom lip and then traces her tongue over the bruise she’s created, smirking when it elicits a gasp from the younger girl. Lips still firmly moving against Azzi’s, her hands work expertly on the buttons of Azzi’s tight shorts. The sensation of everything Paige is all-consuming and Azzi feels like she’s drunk on the taste of her best friend’s skin, as she moves away from Paige’s lips, to pepper kisses on her neck, before moving down to suck a mark into her collarbone. Mine, mine, mine. 

“Fuck Az,” Paige moans when Azzi’s teeth grate against her skin and it’s the brunette’s turn to smirk. But her cockiness is short-lived when Paige’s fingers finally find their way into her now unbuttoned shorts. They press down on her clit through her underwear, making her whine. 

A cry of “Paige,” escapes her lips when the blonde slides Azzi’s panties to the side, her middle and index finger beginning to rub circles around the younger girl’s clit in a tantalisingly slow rhythm. 

“So wet, so fucking wet for me,” Paige’s voice is wrecked with want, as she brings her free hand to cup Azzi’s jaw, forcing her best friend to look her in the eyes. It scares Azzi, the sheer amount of emotion she can see swirling in the blonde’s eyes. There’s lust and then there’s something else, another l-word that she can’t bring herself to acknowledge, knowing it’ll ruin her, ruin them. 

“Please,” Azzi whispers against Paige’s mouth, as the older girl’s fingers slip from her clit to tease against her soaking entrance, dipping into her folds but not giving her what she wants. 

“If you want something baby,” Paige traces Azzi’s lips with her thumb, “you have to ask for it.”

Azzi's hands moved away from where they had been firmly gripping Paige’s waist, to wrap around her neck. She bites softly against Paige’s left earlobe, eliciting a low groan, before bringing her lips as close to the blonde’s ears as she can, “I want you to fuck me.”

It’s all it takes, Paige finally gives Azzi what her body’s so desperately craving, for far longer than she’s willing to admit, pumping two fingers into her pussy, while her thumb stimulates her clit. And fuck, Paige knows exactly what she’s doing, fingers curling in the exact right spots and Azzi feels like she’s floating or flying or falling, maybe all of the above. 

“Please, please, please,” Azzi babbles incoherently, burying her face in the crevice of Paige’s neck, tears beginning to blur her vision. Because, it’s too much, the ecstasy, the fact that it’s Paige behind the ecstasy, the fact that this is better than her wildest fantasies. 

“Doing so good for me baby,” Paige praises, fingers starting to move faster, “taking my fingers so fucking well Az, think you can handle one more?”

Azzi whines in response. Paige pushes in a third finger, both of them letting out identical sighs of pleasure. She’s slow for a second, giving Azzi time to adjust but-

“Fuck, Paige, faster, please,” the younger girls moans, grinding fervently, desperately,  against Paige’s fingers, trying to create more fiction. 

“Anything for you Az,” Paige whispers, and even in the high of the moment, Azzi knows those words are about more than sex, “whatever you want.”

As Paige’s fingers begin to move at a rapid pace, curling around her g-spot, over and over and over, Azzi can feel that familiar pressure building in her stomach. Her fingers claw at Paige’s neck in warning, too worked up for words. Paige nudge’s Azzi’s face out of her neck, free hand cupping the younger girl's jaw. 

“Come apart for me baby,” she whispers before pressing their lips together. 

Azzi’s hips stutter as her orgasm rolls all over her, pussy clenching around Paige’s fingers, as she moans into the older girl's mouth. Spent, her body goes limp, her best friend’s  firm grip pressing her against the edge of the sink, the only thing anchoring her and keeping her uprights. Paige slowly pulls her fingers out of Azzi’s pants and the loss of contact feels wrong. It’s instinct really, as Azzi reaches for Paige’s hand and brings it up to her mouth, sucking each of the older girl’s fingers clean one by one, and it’s worth it for the way Paige looks wrecked. 

“Az-” she begins softly, eyes filled with questions but before Azzi can even think about any answers- 

“Azzi,” reality crashes and burns around the two girls as Zoe’s voice calls out for her girlfriend. The sound of footsteps gets closer and closer. Panic takes the place of pleasure as Paige and Azzi jump apart from each other and the realisation of their surroundings hits both of them at the same time. Sweat sheens against Paige’s collarbone and Azzi’s lips are bruised, her eyes still glazy. Their identical dishevelled demeanour gives away far too much. Just as the restroom door creaks open a little, Azzi dives into one of the stalls. 

“Oh, hey Paige,” guilt pools in Azzi’s stomach at the sound of Zoe’s innocent voice, as she presses her ear against the stall door,  “is Azzi in here? She’s been gone for like 20 minutes.”

“She- she was,” Paige stutters, and Azzi hates herself even more for putting her best friend in this position, “I-uh I think she um- she wanted some fresh air.”

“Ah okay, I’ll go try and find her,” Zoe pauses, “are you okay? You look a little flustered.”

“Me? Oh yeah, I’m fine,” Paige assures in a high-pitched voice, “just uh miss my girlfriend you know.”

Azzi flinches at the lie. She’d made such a fucking mess today. The lying, the cheating, all of it was so out of character and all of a sudden, she feels dirty. Tears brim in her eyes as she begins to process the gravity of what she’d done. And perhaps the worst part of it, is that she can’t find it in herself to fully regret it. If she could turn back time, she doesn’t know if she’d do anything different. Because when it comes to Paige, Azzi’s fine living in shades of grey. 

“Yeah, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend,” Zoe says slowly. 

There’s a pause and Azzi knows the words neither did I are floating in Paige's mind before she answers, “yeah, it’s uh- it’s new.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you,” the sincerity in Zoe’s words hit like stones, rupturing whatever built up image of i am a good person Azzi had ever had of herself

“Thank you,” Paige replies quietly. 

“It just-,” Zoe draws in a breath, “Azzi she- she worries about you a lot you know. Even before- you know- when you guys weren’t- you know? Like I think she thinks about you a lot,” there’s an unmistakable wistfulness in Zoe’s voice, “ like- if you’re doing okay and all that. And I don’t- I don’t even know you but I know she wants you to be happy- and- and I want whatever Azzi wants- so- so if you’re happy- that’s good.”

“That’s- that’s really sweet of you,” Paige sounds as guilty as Azzi feels.

There’s quiet for a minute until, “do you think I make her happy? Does she- does she talk about me?”

Zoe’s voice is laced in insecurity and hopefulness and Azzi wishes she’d never brought this girl into her mess in the first place. The sun-kissed Californian had been a classmate who had accidentally stumbled upon Azzi mid-breakdown on a random Thursday. One second she was hesitant, the next she was spilling her woes to a stranger, tired of holding it in. And from then on Zoe had been on a mission to just be there. She’d never hidden her intention, always clear that she wanted more than friendship and Azzi, despite knowing that her heart didn’t really have space for anyone else, had let her loneliness be her guide and given in to the urge to just let someone hold her. But the truth is that while every other second spent with Zoe was filled with mentions of Paige’s name, every moment spent with Paige was never about anything else other than her. 

“She- she does, she seems happy,” Paige can’t bring herself to say the with you. The blonde sounds defeated, as if the admission that Azzi could possibly be happy with someone else has taken everything out of her. 

“Good, it means a lot,” Zoe’s voice is lighter now, like there’s a smile hidden in it, “especially from you. Thank you. I’ll uh- I’ll go see if I can find her.”

Azzi waits for the sound of footsteps shuffling and then the sound of the door clicking behind Zoe, before prying herself out of the stall. Paige is hunched over the sink, face buried in her hands. And the words my fault, my fault, my fault imprint themselves all over Azzi’s heart. 

“Your girlfriend’s looking for you,” Paige says, not bothering to look up. 

“Paige I-”

“Just go Azzi, we’ll just” Paige scoffs, “we’ll just play pretend again,” the walls are up again and Paige is unreachable in her castle built from the ashes of the purity in their friendship that they’d just sacrified for a fucking quickie in a barely-lit restroom. And maybe Azzi should say something, maybe she should stay and see if she can fight her way into Paige’s castle. But Azzi’s no knight in shining armour, not Paige’s, not Zoe’s, not anybody else’s because knights don’t cheat and they don’t lie and they don’t break people’s hearts. So she listens to what her best friend says, she walks out, and she pretends she doesn’t hear the sob that’s let out behind her. 

***

November 2023

UCLA is up on UConn, it should be a pretty momentous occasion and it is. Azzi’s had one of the best games of her career to get her team mere seconds away from getting their first win over the powerhouse. For UConn, so has Paige, except there’s nothing but frustration gleaming in the blonde’s face. The game had been bad for UConn, the cracks created by injuries on full display. And the competitor in Azzi was more than happy to take advantage of that. But the part of her that was Paige’s best friend was stuck on how tired Paige looked. Someone fucking help her, Azzi had thought throughout the game, she literally just came back from injury. 

The outcome of the game is clear and Azzi’s already on the bench getting rest, cheering for her own team of course, but keeping a subtle eye on what’s happening with Paige. Azzi’s eyes follow Paige as she’s finally subbed out. The older girl walks to the end of her own bench, hands coming to rest on her thighs as she hangs her head, face scrunched up in irritation. Paige does that thing where it's like she’s trying to bite of all the skin on her lips and Azzi has the familiar urge to march over and make her stop, preferably by kissing her, not that that’s a thought she’s allowed to have. 

It’s ironic really, the 2,943 miles that had once been the reason they’d fallen apart, is the only thing holding them together. Being out of each other’s reach makes it easier to ignore what had happened over the summer, makes it easier to not give into that same vice all over again. And it makes sense, Azzi thinks, because since she’s met her, whenever Paige had just been a blurry goofy face on her screen, they’d been good at the just friends thing. The moment they could touch though, that’s when lines got blurry. As much as Azzi’s not sure how she survived a year without Paige, she’s even less sure about how she’d survived that one year where they’d practically lived in each other’s skins. 

Things in the handshake line are somewhat icy with both teams being overprotective of their star players. Muhl’s eyes are full of disdain once she reaches Azzi and Arnold barely shakes her hand, only doing as much as she has to, to keep up appearance. Azzi’s teammates aren’t any better, Angelica smiles at everyone until she reaches Paige, and Kiki rolls her eyes at the point guard. But it doesn’t matter what anybody else does, not when Paige practically falls into Azzi’s arms, her tense body finally beginning to relax a little. 

“You did good,” Azzi whispers into the blonde’s hair, tightening her hold on the other girl as she soothingly strokes her back.

Paige scoffs, burying her face further into Azzi’s neck, “you did good, I did what I had to.”

They break apart reluctantly, the shutter of cameras ruining the intimacy of the moment. Their hands hold on a touch longer but the minute they finally slip away from each other, the familiar feeling of i’m tired of missing you that seems to always be lingering within Azzi, prickles against her heart. 

*** 

UConn and UCLA don’t have a rivalry but if you were sat at the hotel restaurant in the Cayman Islands on a lovely November evening, you wouldn’t know that. There’s multiple women’s basketball teams present at the restaurant and everyone’s mingling with each other but the Bruins and Huskies seem determined to avoid each other at all costs. At one point, Angelica and Muhl, of course it would be them, accidentally bump into each other and Azzi holds her breath at the icy glare shared between them. She’s not sure how she and Paige ended up with something akin to the women’s basketball version of the Montagues and the Capulets, but it seems fitting with the way her life’s been going, that it would eventually start to take the shape of a tragedy.

It’s around 10pm when Azzi notices Paige moving in the direction of the door, towards the beach. Azzi hesitates for a moment, knowing her need to go after the blonde isn't just one born out of a best friend’s concern, but it’s Paige. It doesn’t matter if there’s inevitable destruction on the other side, it’s Paige and when it’s Paige, Azzi will follow. 

Paige’s silhouette on the beach, glowing underneath the moonlight, with waves crashing onto the shore beyond her, is straight out of a dream. Azzi’s not an artist by any means, but she thinks if she were, this moment would be her muse. The sea wind causes Paige’s hair to flutter with it. Her eyes are closed in concentration, knees pressed against her heaving chest as she takes in deep breaths of salty air. Azzi traipses across the sand, sandals in hand, before falling to the ground next to the other girl. A whisper of a smile is the only acknowledgement Paige offers her as they let a comfortable silence glide over them. 

“It would be nice to live here,” Paige says after a moment, “it’s peaceful.”

“Except when it storms,” Azzi surmises. 

“It’s not peaceful anywhere when it storms,” Paige counters matter-of-factly, “can you just let me have my moment?

“Right, right, continue.”

“Well now I don’t want to.”

Azzi laughs. Paige grins. It’s so easy. It’s so fucking scary. 

“Why’d you leave the restaurant?” Azzi asks cautiously. 

“Fresh air.”

“And?”

Paige sighs, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, “it’s gonna be a long season.”

“It always feels like that at the beginning.”

“I know- it’s just- after last year- I just thought it would be different. We’d show the world this time. Be like the other UConn teams of the past. Maybe I just wanted something easier.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi nudges Paige’s shoulder, “you’ve never wanted easy in your goddamn life Paige. If it’s not a challenge, then it’s not for you. Because you’re God’s strongest soldier, and He’ll give you  his hardest battles, right?”

“Right, but sometimes I just don’t feel so strong.”

“Remember what I said in LA? It’s okay to feel that way P. It’s okay to feel however you feel. Let yourself breathe sometimes, it’s good for you. Fall down, let things go, just- remember to get back up and hold on again. It’ll get better, I promise.”

“You always say the right things,” Paige says quietly, and then even quieter, she whispers under her breath, “you make it so hard Az.”

Azzi’s not fully sure what that means. She’s not sure she wants to. Instead she tangles her and Paige’s fingers together, ignoring the way it feels a little too right,  and lets them fall back into a peaceful quiet.

“So,” Paige begins again, after a couple of minutes, “Zoe didn’t make the trip here?”

I’m holding your hand and you’re thinking about my girlfriend. Maybe you’re a better person than me. 

“She can’t just leave all her schoolwork and follow me wherever,” Azzi says, trying to keep the defensiveness out of her voice. It’s true except the part where Zoe had asked if she wanted her there and Azzi hadn’t been able to give her the enthusiastic yes she wanted, starting an unspoken argument that quashed any chance of a nice romantic island getaway for the two of them. 

“She did for the Elite 8 last-” Paige bites her tongue. 

“How did you-,” Azzi’s brain feels dizzy with confusion, “how could you know that? You left- after the Sweet 16, you- how did you know Zoe was there?”

“I didn’t leave,” Paige keeps her eyes adamantly on the ocean, “the team wanted to stay longer,” that’s a lie, Azzi knows her too well, “and so I stayed and you know me, I love watching hoops so I uh- I watched your game.”

“You were there,” Azzi whispers more to herself than Paige at this point. She’d been so sure she was just hallucinating, her heart trying to trick itself into seeing what it wanted to see, “why didn’t you tell me you were there? Why didn’t you come see me after the game?”

“I did- fuck Azzi- I did-”

“Where? I would’ve seen- I didn’t see-” 

“I saw you,” Paige cuts through Azzi’s frantic questioning, her voice heavy with unspoken emotions as she continues to refuse to look at the younger girl, “you and Zoe. Together.”

“Paige-”

“After the game, you were looking for someone in the stands and I- I thought maybe you were looking for your parents but then I saw you- with her- outside the locker room and- it hit me that- that you were looking for her,” Paige spits the last word out as it feels like lava on her tongue. 

In the grand scheme of things, maybe Azzi should let Paige keep this misconception, maybe it would make things simpler if she let Paige believe in the idea that there was someone else Azzi sought out when she was struggling. But- 

“I thought I saw you,” Azzi breathes out, “I should have been looking for Zoe but-” she has to draw in a breath when Paige whips around, piercing blue eyes that feel like they can see straight into Azzi’s soul, “Paige, I was looking for you-”

The last bit of sound is stolen away from Azzi as Paige’s lips crash onto hers. And it’s so different from summer and that wretched bathroom. Something softer, more gentle, but still desperate and passionate. Time slows down, as Azzi pulls Paige into her lap, hands caressing her waist, mouths still moving against each other with perfect rhythm. They only pull away when air becomes a necessity, resting their forehead against each other, as they breathe in sync. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Azzi whispers, moving a strand of hair out the blonde’s face. 

The way Paige blushes is everything, “stop.”

“You are,” Azzi insists, pressing a kiss against the corner against the edge of her lips, “you’re perfect P.”

If she goes blind tomorrow, in the next second even, Azzi thinks that would be okay. As long as this, Paige with her soft Azzi smile, looking at her with that sparkle in her eyes, face illuminated by the shine of the stars, is the last thing Azzi sees. 

Slowly Paige climbs off of her, stretching out a hand to pull Azzi up. 

“You don’t have a roommate right?,” she asks with a soft smirk that transforms into a shy grin when Azzi nods. And this isn’t a version of Paige that Azzi's ever met before, so different from her cocky loud best friend, but she’d like to learn her all the same. 

The hotel staff probably think they’re a little drunk as they giggle their way to Azzi’s hotel room. Azzi barely manages to get the door open, before Paige’s lips are all over her again, drifting everywhere from her lips to her neck to her collarbone. 

“Off, off, off,” Paige urges, hands pulling away Azzi’s shirt and she can’t help but giggle at the older girl’s impatience. She keeps her eyes firmly on Paige as she unhooks her bra, smirking as her best friend’s eyes glaze over. Paige moves to touch her, and Azzi moves back immediately. 

“Nuh huh. I show you mine, you show me yours.”

“You’re so fucking annoying,” Paige groans but does as she’s told, discarding her shirt and Azzi’s smirk widens. She moves towards Paige, slowly tracing her tongue down the older girl’s neck. 

“Am I?” Azzi whispers, as she backs her best friend onto the bed. Paige’s eyes follow her every movement as Azzi slowly slides down Paige’s pants, and then her underwear. She runs a finger down Paige’s soaked folds, causing the other girl’s body to shiver, “so wet already, for someone so annoying?”

“Fuck y-” Paige cuts herself off with a groan, when Azzi’s fingers find her sensitive clit.

Settling herself in between the older girl's legs, Azzi grazes her teeth against Paige’s left thigh, satisfied when it makes the other girl’s breath hitch,  “if I’m so annoying maybe I should go?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Paige warns breathlessly, head propped up against Azzi’s pillows. 

“That’s what I thought,” Azzi smirks, as she peppers kisses up Paige’s thighs, her right thumb lazily flickering against Paige’s clit. 

“You’re such a fucking tease,” Paige lets out a frustrated whine, “just fuck me already.”

Azzi bites down hard against Paige’s thigh, wanting to leave a mark in the one place no one would ever see it, before looking up at Paige, “whatever you want.”

Paige’s entire body writhes as Azzi fucks her tongue into Paige’s pussy, building pace with every thrust. One hand fists around the sheets, as the other moves to grab at Azzi’s head, trying to guide her in deeper. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck shit Azzi please,” Paige curses, eyes rolling into her skull, “just like that fuck.”

She’s so close, words becoming incoherent noises, thighs beginning to shake, when Azzi pulls her tongue off.

“What the fuck-” Paige almost yells but it turns into a groan when Azzi replaces her tongue with two fingers instead, “shit- FUCK.”

Azzi attaches her now-free lips to Paige’s clit and she can tell it’s too much. Paige’s back arches off the bed as her eyes go hazy. And then Azzi’s above her, fingers still rapidly pumping into Paige, as she places a delicate kiss against her lips. 

“Let go baby, I’ve got you,” Azzi whispers into Paige’s ear as the blonde closes her eyes, letting her orgasm wash all over her, “I’ve got you.”

Paige is still for a second, as Azzi slips her fingers out, continuing to press lazy open-mouthed kisses against her best friend’s neck. She squeals when she feels herself being flipped over, back hitting the mattress. 

“What was it you said?” Paige asks cheekily, as starts to unbutton Azzi’s jeans, “I showed you mine, now you have to show me yours.”

Azzi rolls her eyes, a laugh escaping her throat. Trust them to be dorks even in a moment like this. And then Paige attaches her lips to Azzi’s clit and the giggles turn into loud desperate moans. When she slips her fingers in, it’s clear Paige remembers exactly how to push Azzi over the edge. 

“So fucking perfect,” Paige whispers from between her legs, eyes looking up at a blissed-out Azzi with awe, “you’re so fucking perfect.”

“That’s you,” Azzi manages to get out in between bated breaths, before her own orgasm hits her, and Paige’s name waterfalls out of her lips like a prayer. 

There’s no more words after that, only shared looks and soft grins as they make their way into the en-suite bathroom, lazily washing each other between stolen kisses. They fall asleep, wrapped in each other's arms with matching content smiles. 

***

Azzi wakes up alone the next morning. There’s no scribbled note, or even a text. In fact there’s really no proof that Paige was ever there to begin with, except for the ghost of Paige’s touch written all over Azzi’s skin. For a second, Azzi sits in bed and stares out her window. There's a thunderstorm brewing outside (it's not peaceful anywhere when it storms). She watches the raindrops slide down one by one and decides that, that’s the only water that’ll fall today because she won’t shed a single tear and she won’t cry and she most definitely won’t sob. 

She replies to Zoe’s i miss you text with a me too she doesn’t mean.

And then she gets up and goes on with her day. 

[moonrisecoeur]

heheheheheh re6 vampirehunter!leon meeting vampire!user and he’s like so cocky and arrogant only to be absolutely ruined and submissive to vampire!user i’m giggling n twirling my hair

omg anon sorry this took so long to answer i had to wait until my brain was working again but like. wow. love this concept!! i feel like i might have seen this before i think it might have been a cai bot??? not sure but whatever the case u are so big brain

i lowkey kinda hate this but i hope u don't lol

his whole life he's been taught to kill a vampire on sight, no exceptions. they kill innocent people!! and steal their blood!! so obviously being the selfless hero that leon is, he takes up the role as a vampy hunter and tries to keep his village safe. he's killed dozens of vampires in his life, keeping his family and friends safe. he doesn't care that it's a risky profession. he has people to protect.

but when he hears rumors of a vampire living on the outskirts of town, in an abandoned building that no one dared to enter, he knew it was his job to take care of this vampire.

and yet he goes to find them and they are just absolutely not what he expected. most vampires try to be all sultry and seductive to distract him, or some become violent right away. but this one, you, just spoke to him like a regular person.

"stay where you are," he says, his silver dipped knife to your throat.

'come now, human boy. let's not good too ahead of ourselves' the last one had said to him. they taunted him, tried to seduce him.

"i don't understand why you are after me. i haven't killed a human in... hundreds of years," you say to him, letting him keep you in a vulnerable position. there's this air of arrogance to you that leon can't help but despise.

"you're a vampire."

"and yet, you humans only seem to come after me."

"i am not going to be swayed with words," he scowls, "you're a monster."

"then why haven't you killed me yet?" you tilt your head back to gaze at him, glaring to be more precise, but you weren't planning on him being so attractive. when did human men get so pretty?

he blinks, almost confused. he expected a bit more effort to get away, but it almost seemed like you knew he wouldn't.

and, for some reason he can't describe, he eventually releases you, and you immediately struggle for the knife, throwing it to the other side of the room, and within a millisecond he's underneath you, your glaring red eyes peering down at him. he's not showing it, but he's petrified.

"this is... much more comfortable," you chuckle.

"wait, shit, i'm sorry, please don't..." he stuttered. poor thing, he's actually scared.

your fangs are inches away from his neck and he seem to be begging with his eyes for you to please, oh god please have mercy on him. he looks so ripe for the taking, it would be so easy to pierce his skin with your fangs and just... just ruin him. leave his body a lifeless corpse... or potentially make him like you. that would be a perfect irony, wouldn't it? a vampire hunter being turned into a vampire? how tragic.

he can't help the sob that escapes him, "please, i- i don't want to die.." he cries.

and you know what? maybe he's doing it to get your guard down, feed your ego. i mean, he obviously knows yours is large. and yet... some part of you thinks it's not an act, that he's genuinely scared. but whatever the case, it does feed your ego.

"will you be good, human?"

he nods, desperately, afraid for his life. and when you get off of him, and offer him a hand to get back up, he doesn't know whether to be wary or grateful, or both.

your arrogance makes you... hard to get along with, but leon can tell you're much more powerful than any of the vampires he's killed in his entire life.

but he supposes you're not completely awful. you didn't kill him. you let him escape the first time, clutch his sliver knife to his chest as he ran out of your home. you eye him cautiously. something in you.... liked that human boy.

he returns again, this time to apologize. he felt the need to kill you because you were a vampire even though you weren't threatening anyone. you were oddly docile for such a scary, and insanely powerful vampire. you were truly nothing he'd seen before.

this time, though, he doesn't hold a knife to your neck, instead just nervously wandering around the place you have made your home. it's almost sad to him how lonely you must be.

in any case, even a human man trying to kill you counts as company, so you haven't been completely against his presence in your life.

plus, when you finally do end up seducing him, as he knew you would. he's incredibly pliable, somewhat nervous, and while obedience doesn't seem to come easy to him, you make it easy for him.

andddddd then u proceed to fuck his brains out until he can't do anything but lie there uselessly while you suck the blood out of his body but i digress.

you obvi try not to kill him when you take his blood but he's so yummy!! how could you not!! such a delicious little human.

[danikamariewrites]

im so in love with ddlg azriel, i was wondering if i could please request one where reader is fed up with work (me fr) and it stresses her out. she just wants to stay at home and bake and do cute stuff and live life (me fr) and she tells azriel this, she tells him she doesn’t even care ab money she wants a break from her horrible boss. he says he’ll take care of her, he already does, her own money is her own, even though azriel provides literally everything in her life. So they decide she’ll quit and do what pleases her instead. Maybe volunteer at the library in the house of wind with the priestesses. She looks so much more happy and azriels heart swells with love. 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ pls

Done With Work

Azriel x reader

A/n: me too anon 😫 like what do you mean I have to work for the rest of my life?! I’m sick of it now 😭

I see this as the story for first few points in this headcanon

Warnings: ddlg, daddy kink, not proof read sorry lol

Your whole body felt heavy as you dragged yourself up the stairs to Azriel’s office. Without knocking you push the door open, giving your mate a tired look. “Y/n, what’s wrong my love?” You drop your bag and wordlessly walk over to him, plopping yourself on his lap and burying your face in his neck.

Breathing in his scent of night-chilled mist and cedar calmed you. Azriel brought his hand to rub up and down your spine. “I’m so sick of working Az.” You mumble. He adjusts you so your head rests on his chest and he can hear you clearly.

“Did something happen today?” You shrug lazily. “It’s just so draining. And I’ve worked all my life, I just want to do something for myself. I feel like I have no free time. And I’m just done.” Azriel hugged you tighter. “I want to quit Az. I need a break from terrible people. I have money so you don’t-“

Azriel cups your face cutting you off. He moves you so you’re looking up at him. “You are going to quit because I hate seeing you like this. You’re my mate and I want to keep you happy and comfortable. And don’t you dare bring up money. What you have is yours, let me take care of everything.”

Tears escaped your eyes as you smiled up at Azriel. “Thank you, my love.”

The next day you went in to work to quit. Your bosses look of shock brought you so much joy. You practically skipped out of the building and all the way home to Azriel. He swears he’d never seen you this happy about something so small.

From that day on Azriel told you to do whatever your heart desired. So you took your time getting into your new routine. First thing was to catch up on your sleep. Your sleep schedule was atrocious so you spent the first two weeks sleeping in.

Then you finally got around to decorating and rearranging the house the way you wanted. Azriel’s heart soared when he came home after a quick mission. The house felt warmer with you in the center of it.

You took your time exploring Velaris. Visiting a new part of the city everyday. Of course you spent most of your time in the Rainbow and had taken a liking to staying at Feyre’s studio some days.

You spent more time with Feyre and Elain. You helped Gwyn in the library and even started going to training in the morning. And when Nesta had time you two would read together. You started going out with Mor and Feyre a few nights a week too. Azriel felt like he was watching you, his beautiful and wonderful mate, come back to life again.

What you loved most about your new life style was the care and attention you got from Azriel. Not that you didn’t get it before. But now you have time to really enjoy it.

Everything he did for you put you back together. From spa days to simple lazy mornings in bed he made sure that you were happy and cared for. After the conversation about your relationship you were both insanely happy.

Azriel loved taking care of you, and with this new dynamic and nicknames it all just felt right. He felt like you could truly be open with him.

Your happiness really hit him on a day where you slept in and he made breakfast. Az wanted to bring you breakfast in bed but you got up before it was ready. His shadows altered him to your presence. Turning, he saw you rub your eyes with a smile. You looked so cute in just his t-shirt and panties.

“Good morning princess.” “Morning daddy.” You pad over to him, standing on your tiptoes you plant a kiss on his cheek. “Breakfast smells delicious. Did you make coffee?” “I did.” You let out a small happy sound and filled up two mugs bringing them over to the kitchen table.

You sit waiting for Az to bring your plates over. When Azriel finally sits you’re adding an obscene amount of sugar to your coffee. Azriel takes the spoon from your hand, “That’s enough princess or your teeth will rot.” You let out a huff and pick the syrup up to drown your pancakes in them.

“What can I say, I have a sweet tooth.” You let out a small giggle at Azriel’s fake stern face. Quicker than you can comprehend Azriel tickles your sides and you let out a scream of laughter. “Daddy stop, I can’t, aahhh!” Azriel pulls you onto his lap leaving small kisses all over your face as you continue to giggle.

Once you calmed down you snuggled into Azriel, wrapping your arms around his neck tightly. “I love you so much daddy.” Az hugged you back equally as tight, “I love you too so much princess.” You lean back smiling up at him. You peck his nose quickly and cup his face in your hands. “Thank you. For everything. I’m just, I’m so happy.”

Azriel felt tears from behind his eyes. He could feel your happiness radiating down the bond. That made him feel like the luckiest male in the world. The two of you loved each other and he has the best mate. “You never have to thank me princess. I told you, it’s my job.”

He turns you to face the table and lets you get comfortable as he pulls your plate over. “What do you want first.” “Hhmm…bacon!” Azriel took a strip of bacon from your plate holding it up to your mouth. Taking a bite you let out a satisfied hum. He kissed the back of your head as he began to cut up your pancakes.

If there was a moment you could live in with Azriel forever, it would be this one. You both had nothing to do today. He was feeding you. And he was holding you close, making you feel more loved than you had in your entire life.

[1000roughdrafts]

Fic request!: Dean and Reader have been engaged for a long time and are waiting for the perfect time to finally get married. On what should have been an easy hunt with the brothers and Cas, reader is mortally wounded and in their last moments together, Cas marries them (I mean, angels should have that authority right? lol) as Reader dies in Dean's arms?

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: slight violence, dying!reader, blood, slight gore, angst

Dean X FemReader

We round the corner of an abandoned building, and not even this fierce wind could break the dark, thick fog of tension that sits among the three of us. Neither I nor the Winchesters have a clue what we're up against, or if they do, they haven't filled me in. I just know it's demonic and killing innocent people.

We haven't exactly been getting along lately, and if not for the danger that constantly looms around us, I'd have made a joke to Dean about acting like a married couple before we could even tie the knot. But the worst part about the frustration that we feel is the impulsivity that comes with it. The pissing contest of heading into hunts we know we're not prepared for, but are too damn prideful to say so. And somehow the anger leads us to believe we're stronger than we actually are.

I want to convince them to turn around and leave, but I realize that it's too late when Dean kicks down the door, his gun aiming every which way before his foot could even land back on the ground. Leaves rustle under Sam's quick steps as he follows behind Dean like a dutiful soldier. I'm told to stay close, but I'm immediately distracted by the smell of something rotting and the graffiti on the wilting walls. There are words like 'kill', 'die' and 'run' written in red and the hair on the back of my neck stands.

“Y/N!" Dean quietly shouts.

I jolt to look in his direction. He motions with furrowed brows and two fingers for me to move in, and I reflexively roll my eyes. I realize I'd been absentmindedly twisting my engagement ring around my finger.

We shouldn't be here. I know it, so why don't they? Or do they and they just don't care? I stare at Sam internally begging him to turn my way, for him to see the fear in my eyes and help me convince Dean that we should leave, tell him that something just doesn't feel right, but when he does look my way he only shoots a sympathetic smile. I roll my eyes again.

Anxiety clouds me. My chest feels tight, and air feels thin. My vision gets blurry, and I can feel the anger inside of me trying to claw it's way to the top, but all the while I can feel myself weaken, my guard down. I carry on, walking towards where the brothers are and I can smell my threat before I see it. Sulfur. I quickly turn to attack, but feel a piercingly sharp pain in my side.

With a yelp, I instinctively place my hand over the area that burns to hold pressure on it, but it scares me how wet my hand feels, and when I pull my it up I can see that it's drenched in blood.

I manage to croak out Dean's name before I fall to my knees, collapsing on the ground. The last thing I see before my world goes black is Dean kneeling down next to me, repeatedly and terrifyingly shouting my name as Sam fights off whatever it was that attacked me.

Laughter echoed in the halls of the bunker as Dean chased after me. We ended the game in our room, and trapped between Dean and the wall I had no choice but to succumb to him. Roping me in his arms, he tickled me until I begged through tears and a smile to be let go.

When I could catch my breath, my eyes met his gaze, and the whole world stopped around me. I took a few steps back to drop onto the bed, watching Dean as he plopped down next to me. I felt warmth throughout my entire body as he leaned to kiss me.

I could just explode I was so overwhelmed with love for him and for this moment, that when he pulled away I couldn't control my voice. "Marry me, Winchester." And my eyes widened when he quickly sat up.

He propped himself up on his arm, "what?" he said with one eyebrow raised.

"I'm serious, Dean," I chuckled, sitting up to turn my body towards him. I placed my hand on his leg, feeling him relax under it, "I have never felt the way that I do about you, for anyone. We have no idea when our last days are going to be, and in this line of work it could be tomorrow for all we know. I can't bear the thought of dying without you as my husband."

---

I hear my name in Dean's voice from a distance, but I'm surrounded by total darkness. I try so hard with all of my might to tell him I'm here, that it's okay, but the words don't come. It takes all of my strength to open my eyes, but they burn. Everything burns. I don't even try to suppress the scream that bellows out of me.

Taking as deep of a breath as I can, I'm scared for myself when it sounds and feels like I'm breathing a water and air mixture. "What's happening?" I manage to say, but Dean puts a finger to my lips.

"No, no," he soothes, "no, don't talk. It's okay," he says so gently, and as he maneuvers me into his lap I cry out in agonizing pain. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he says, then his voice switches into a shaky, fear filled command at Sam to call 911 followed by a yell for Castiel that hurts my heart almost as much as my wound hurts.

I feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness, but I'm brought back every time by Dean shaking my body in his arms, "hey, no! Stay with me, Y/N!" I feel his arms twitch around me, and I know he's frantically trying to figure out his next move. "Hey, stay with me," he pleads.

"Maybe we should get her talking," Sam's voice suggests from the other side of me. I keep my eyes shut. "So we know she's still here," he says.

Dean's hot breath hits my face as he lets out a heavy sigh, and I sway with him in his arms as he shakes his head no.

"Cas! Finally," Dean's voice is excited, but hesitant as Cas remains quiet. "Cas! Heal her!" Dean grunts, and what follows is more silence. "Cas!"

"Dean, you know I can't do that," Cas says somberly, a cold brush of air hitting me as Cas walks over to our side.

"Why the hell not?" Dean shouts with enough force to rattle me in his arms. I grunt from the jolt of pain it sends through my body, but he ignores me.

"I'm limited on my powers," Cas whispers. “Heaven, they-“ but he’s cut off by a scoff from Dean.

I feel myself weaken more and more with every second that they bicker around me, and I don't even have the strength to contest it. They're voices grow distant, and my muscles relax as I'm brought back to unconsciousness.

"I know you're not the marrying type, Dean, but-" I said, losing confidence in myself, and as if he realized this, Dean quickly straightened himself out to hold his palms up at me.

"No, no, it's not that. I'm just... I'm just a little surprised is all." Without letting me respond, he walks to his dresser and the drawer creaks as he opens it, the smell of old wood filled my nose as he rummaged around in it.

He turned to face me, and in his hands was a small, black box. His eyes softened, and he knelt down to one knee, "Y/N, I have been wanting to ask you this, maybe since the day we met," he chuckled. "And I had a whole speech prepared, but I think you got me beat," he laughed again, "and left me nearly speechless. So, Y/N, yes, I will marry you," he said.

--

The terrified shouts of the men around me brings me back to them, and thank God for that. My eyes still burn, and I clench them even tighter, forcing a tear I didn't know was there down and over the bridge of my nose.

I try to clear my throat to speak, but it's like it gets caught on something, and I cough to get it out. Dean quickly raises me up to a sitting position, which is excruciatingly painful.

"Y/N," Dean's voice shakes.

I take a few deep breaths in to clear my airway, and fight to open my eyes. They only open to a squint, but I take what I can get. I glance at Sam, then Cas who keep their eyes on the floor in front of them. My head tilts back as I look up at Dean. His eyes are trained to mine, his eyebrows pressed tightly together, as are his lips.

"Marry me, Winchester," I squeak, and I can see his face instantly relax.

"What?" he says, then the corners of his lips curl down. He nods gently and the tears he had been holding back come pouring down. He looks up at Cas, who immediately understand and kneels down next to us.

"Allow me," he offers, placing his hand under my cold fingers, and his other on Dean's shoulder. "Y/N, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony," Cas begins, and my lips quiver at the words 'live together' because it finally hits me that this is the end of that.

Cas continues, voice a little louder to overshadow the sobs that break through Dean's chest. "To love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"

"And even longer," I say, my eyes, even blurry, moving to Dean's in time to see tears slip down his cheek.

Cas turns his attention to my other half, "Dean, do you take-"

"I do," Dean eagerly states when he notices my breathing has slowed exponentially. "Skip to the end," Dean pleads.

"By the virtue of the authority vested in me under the laws of the Lord, I now pronounce you husband and wife". Cas sucks in a breath, and lets it out slowly. "You may kiss the bride."

Dean brings me closer to him, and his lips are hot and quivering against mine. I pucker to kiss him, but I know my lips don't move by the way his press deeper into mine to accommodate it. My breaths are even slower now, and I can feel myself slipping away again, no matter how hard I try to fight it.

I draw in a long, cold breath, trying to hold on as long as I can. "I love you, Dean," I say and as the breath escapes me, so does my light.

"I love you, t-"

----

If you liked my story, please remember to heart, comment or reblog. Or if you'd like, you can add yourself to a tag list here if you wish :) Thank you for reading!! :)

Everything Tags <3

@waywardblueshun @81mysteriouslyme @drakelover78 @soab1967 @shutupandfeedmethings @pollywantacracker666 @sonnierae26 @obsessed5sosfreak @tlovescoffee @noodledoodlebug @hobby27 @cluz1babe @emptycanvasposts @suckmyapplejacks @sigrunsavestheday @flamencodiva @roseblue373

Dean <3

@akshi8278 @squirrelnotsam @laxe-from-outer-space @ellewritesfix05 @cluz1babe @lyarr24 @mrspeacem1nusone @idksupernaturl @fandom-princess-forevermore @stoneyggirl @chaospossum

[bridgetoesoteria]

😈🔥18+ How do you rock their world??🤩

Heyy soul snatchers. You're in for a major ego stroke ;)

Enjoy...

Piles are left to right. All images came from this site.

Collective:

I think some of you may resonate with Cherry by Rina Sawayama.

Pile 1

How do you rock their world?

Woww...a lot of your people have got to be sapiosexuals. There is just soo much air in your spread. Even the oracle card I pulled could be considered air energy. Some of the keywords are intellect, logic, and analytic. Do you see what I mean. You must be super smart and/or good with your words. Your person not only admires this but it turns them on for some reason. This is coming up in an 18+ reading so their sexuality is tied in some how... Lets dive in more and see what's up.

So this might seem kind of out there but some of you be dommes. I'm specifically getting a dominant feminine energy. They could be your sub. If you aren't into BDSM this could represent you wearing the pants in the relationship. You could say things that they think about later. If your dirty talk is like A+++, then just know they definitely "reminisce" about it later, when they're alone, do you get what I mean?

Something about your words has them under your spell. Do you tell them about your adventures? Some of you could work in the legal field or higher education, or another career that requires intelligence and logic. If you come home and tell them about your day, that could be a turn on for them. You could also be very open-minded, down to give most things a try and you aren't scared to match their "nasty." Whatever that means in your situation.

Ooo some of you may be new to sex or your seeing a new partner after being with the same person. Maybe you had/have very strong boundaries and your person is feeling tortured by having to abstain. The world card in this deck is represented by a snake wrapped around an egg. Then there's the fool which is clarified by the 7 of pentacles. These show new beginnings, planting seeds. So I'm just feeling even more like there is something "new" to this situation. But I am also getting that some of you may be super grippers (I'm hearing that specifically lol). Also, you could wrap your legs around them and they love this.

All the possibilities drive them wild. The way you create fantasies and explore in a controlled, self-respecting way. They love it. If you are modest that does it for them also. One or both of you could be possessive. I think you are both excited for whatever chapter/era you are entering together.

Bonus: Which of your features are they most attracted to?

Some of you may be petite, you may have smaller boobs/butts. They really like that. For others they like your shape, especially when viewing you from behind. They love your silhouette and curves. If you are mom's they love the way your body looks, especially if your hips are wider now. For any masculines, they love your arms and eyes.

Other features I am getting are: curly hair, ginger hair (esp. if the carpet matches the drapes haha), blonde hair, and full lips. They think you have amazing head game. Again, the message of someone being tight keeps coming up sheesh. Like we get it, I promise! I'm looking for physical features lol.

They definitely love your eyes; It could be the color, your lashes, the shape/size, and/or a piercing gaze. I am using one of my decks with the most colorful and expressive cards. I have almost every card in the deck that has a significant amount of dark brown. There aren't that many. So they may really really love your skin tone. Especially if it is medium-dark brown. If any of you have tattoos they think that's "hot".

They could like the lower half of your face a lot for some reason. From the bridge of your nose down. Maybe you know? For masculines and feminines they like your chest and abdomen, so basically your whole torso. But idk, I watch too many crime shows to feel comfortable just casually slipping "your torso" into a sentence. Anywho, finally, if you are from a different culture and wear traditional accessories or clothing, they love it. They think it looks really good on you.

Pile 2

How do you rock their world?

Many of you could be kind of edgy. I don't mean that in a rude way. I hate that edgy has been turned into an insult but that's a rant for another post lol. You could march to the beat of your own drum in and out of the bedroom. If you have ever participated in, or suggested, mutual masturbation, they really love that. Even if one of you just watches, this is something they enjoy. If you blush or get flushed during sex, they really like that. They feel like its a sign that you are really enjoying yourself.

There is something about heat here. Idk what it is. I am seeing a lot of fire imagery in the cards. So maybe you do temperature play, wax play, or you could just get super hot. If you dress in a unique way they really love this. They love how you aren't afraid to stand out. Some of you may dress from a specific period. Some of you may dress like royalty, not sure what that means. If you try on different outfits for roleplay that excites them too. It keeps everything so fresh.

If you give head they love this. Your mouth could feel warm in a pleasant way. You could be skilled with your tongue. Gender doesn't matter here. Its just about how it resonates with your situation. If you have boobs, they like the way they look when you are lying on your back. If you are shy or tend to close your eyes during sex, they could like that because it brings out their primal side. You could be good at riding. LOL then I pulled the card that literally has...just look at this, go to the 10 of pentacles, the card with the girl on the carousel lol. So def good at riding lol.

If you tend to be more quiet they like this. Maybe its even like a little game for some of you. They try to see if they can elicit a noise or reaction from you. They could enjoy being aggressive, doing some punishing, or darker role plays. If there is someone else included in your fun, they enjoy this too. Some of them could get jealous. There could be specific person that threatens them. So this is more of a how do you "drive them crazy" than a "rock their world". Lol cause I don't think they're happy about this unless its roleplay.

Bonus: Which of your features are they most attracted to?

If you have a round face they really like this. If you have big or prominent eyes they really love them. For some of you they could just look into your eyes and smile. Something about your eyes cheer them up. They definitely like your lips. If you have any tattoos of sea animals or a heart.

Other features I am getting: beard, fashion sense (esp. if you are a masculine), hands, short hair, tight curls or waves, brunette or red hair. If some of you are here from Pile 1, I see you.

Also, if some of you have vitiligo, freckles, or something else unique about your skin, they think its beautiful. So if they compliment it, please know they aren't just saying that. Some of you could come from a different background or a mix of cultures. Finally, they love your height. They could ask you to get things for them or they love you asking for their assistance.

Pile 3

How do you rock their world?

I keep hearing, "I love the way you love mee" from Stewie by Blueface's girlfriend's. Sorry Jadelyn? Idk. So maybe you are passionate or there is something different about the way you approach this person. Some of you could be very tactile. You could enjoy giving or receiving massages. One or both of you could really enjoy physical touch, grabbing, squeezing, etc.

You could literally be rocking their world, as in, you are shaking things up for them. Some of them could have suffered some kind of loss. Could the loss of a relationship, loved one, or business. This might be the more emotional, watery pile. I am getting a message support, feeling safe, and romanticism. So some of you could be real charmers or your person enjoys wooing you. It doesn't feel like a chase, it feels more like courting. You make them face their fears in some way. So the way you rock their world is more internal.

If you are a mom, or want to become one, they could be attracted to that stability. Some of you could be detached or maybe you are right now. Idk if this is rocking their world in a good or bad way. Maybe you know? Umm I think some of y'all are living life on the edge! So going back to the family thing, if you are trying for a baby they are really enjoying that. Others of you are just being reckless and letting them finish inside, hopefully you're on BC if you don't want kids. So many maternal things are coming up. Do they have mommy issues? If you are pregnant or a mother, they love this.

They love how your body looks. They love the idea of starting a new chapter with you. I think this can apply whether you are a mother or not. Flip it if you would be doing the impregnating. This person likes the idea of having a family with you, or likes that you don't pull out. This person likes how gentle and feminine you are. If you are comfortable being vulnerable with them, they also love this. You could do roleplays where they have to save you, or possible nurse you back to health. You could do some kind of caregiver roleplays.

They love that they want to be with you all the time. They are so attracted to you and if you could just go at it like bunnies 24/7, they would be so happy. You could sext them and they like touching themselves either while this is going on or later. Probably both tbh lol. You could really get into fantasizing and it absorbs them too. If you dress like a hippy, they like this too. They could enjoy messing around when you are under the influence. Finally, with so much water imagery, this person could enjoy all the bodily fluids that come along with the experience. For some of you, they enjoy finishing on your back or face. This could also be something they fantasize about you allowing them to do.

Bonus: Which of your features are they most attracted to?

They are really attracted to your brown eyes, if you have them. They could be really attracted to the shape of your eyes. When they look into your eyes, it can be hard to say no. Or they like that you can't say no to them. Again, flip any roles if needed. They really love your skin tone. If there is a contrast, they could think you go together well. Physically they could think you are out of their league. So they could find you extremely attractive overall.

If you are really tall or tower over them, they love this. They could love your hands, they could find them soft. You guys could shock each other when you touch. They could really love your heart and the way you love. They could also love your posture and a specific piece of jewelry you wear. There could be something taboo or unconventional about someone's physical appearance. Someone could be well-endowed or could have big boobs. If you are a "bear" type. Like a guy that looks sturdy, facial hair, usually a little bigger. They love this. Or they love that you make them feel that way, strong and masculine. So maybe you are smaller than them or present as extremely feminine. The last message I am getting is that they love your green eyes.

Pile 4

How do you rock their world?

You could be hard to get. I am specifically getting that you could be the first partner they apologized to. Or, they could be someone that is usually prideful but they are more submissive with you. You could be a tease or they perceive you this way. They think you know how to ride and that you give great handjobs! If you do some kind of edging, that definitely drives them crazy. It could be really difficult for this person to hold back. Especially, if you are really tight. They have to concentrate. Some of them may not be able to. Even though it embarrasses them, it turns them on in a weird way? Cause its kind of a sign of just how attractive you are and how much you turn them on.

Some of you give handjobs because you aren't giving head. They are still happy with that. You could have been with this person at different stages in your life. For example, they were your first, then you hooked up again sometime in adulthood. You could like being watched or doing it in front of a mirror. Some of you could be SW, or you could give a good striptease.

They really like your arch. The lion on this strength card is about to break their back lol. Maybe you can relate to that? lol. You could be rough but also provide good aftercare or they enjoy this about you. You could make them wear protection. You are very protective of yourself. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you are not having sex with this person.

You could enjoy exploring and doing things that require trust in your partner and yourself. I'm trying to get more messages but its just repeating. If you have a lot of options this could drive them crazy. I can't tell if it's jealousy or they kind of enjoy being ignored. Maybe they like simping or cuckholding (is that a word? lol).

Bonus: Which of your features are they most attracted to?

I'm getting beard again. If you are a masculine, they like your skin tone. Some of your insecurities are one of their favorite things about you. For example, if you have stretch marks. Some of you may not like something about your eyes. You could think you look tired. If you have catlike features they love this. They love your nose, no matter what size or shape it is.

They definitely love your eyes and love looking into them. For some reason, its hypnotic. They love your feet, esp if you get pedicures. If you are tall, thin, or have a long "member," they love these feautures. If you are thicker, they like this. You could both be similar in some way and they like that. Like maybe they are big and you are assuming they only want you because you are big too. But no, they are genuinely into you. Same if the issue is you doubting they are also attracted to the same sex or if you think they don't like you ethnicity. They like you as you are. They like your hair either the pattern/texture or the current style you have it in.

Pile 5

How do you rock their world?

I don't know why I am having a hard time reading this as a current relationship. The energy feels so still. So this could be an ex, someone you are in no contact with, or even a partner that has passed. If those situations don't resonate with you, see if the rest of the reading resonates.

If you are not with this person, they really want to get back together. They miss you guys being together. If this is long-distance, they definitely yearn for you. No matter how this resonates, they are very much focused on you. They could feel very strongly attached to you. They feel quite passionately about you. Even though it is an intense, and possibly overwhelming experience, they can't walk away. If you are on/off or you have been together since you were young, they can't let you go. They don't want to.

If they have witnessed the evolution of your sexuality, they have enjoyed each stage. One or both of you could have very strong orgasms. If you cry or your eyes water, this could really drive them crazy. Things could get so heated and passionate that you are only focused on each other. It could get pretty loud too.

The makeup sex may be top notch lol. You may do yoga or be very flexible, so this opens up a lot of options when it comes to positions. They want to fold you like a pretzel, and test your limits. Perhaps you are already doing this.

They could really love your scent, either your natural scent or a perfume. There is a lot of flower imagery, so they could associate you with floral scents. They enjoy going down on you. Some of you may be shy about that but they really would love to try that. I wouldn't be surprised if this person likes bury their head in your hair or neck. Like say you're in doggy, they would lean forward and nuzzle into your neck. Or, they enjoy when you do this to them. They really have to work at not coming too soon or before you. You could have kids or a family, so you can only have secret rendezvouses. They could also enjoy dominating you.

Bonus: Which of your features are they most attracted to?

You could have a really interesting look or aesthetic. If you are goth or have a unique sense of style, they like this. If you are a tomboy, they think its hot. They could like your ears and if you have a widow's peak. Idk why widow's peaks have such a bad rep...but maybe that's my personal bias showing lol. If your hair is short they think its cute. Maybe you cut your bangs too short but they think its cute.

They like your hands. Some of you could have working hands and they still like them. Some of you could be more masculine leaning women or feminine men. You may be LGBT but you don't have to be. They like your eyes there is something different about them. If you have a serious face or resting bitch face, this is attractive to them.

I am also getting they are attracted to your back, side boob (maybe you wear shirts or dresses that expose this part), pale or dark skin. Some of them see that you put effort into your physical appearance or they witnessed you experience a glow up. Finally you could be well proportioned or modelesque.

Well, I truly hope that resonated and that you enjoyed your reading(s)! This was fun and I hope to do more 18+ 🥵.

In the next few weeks, I will be sharing a menu for personal readings 🥳. I did some privately and truly enjoyed it! I'm really excited for this.

Thinking of doing a "Sunday special," but no promises cause I am gonna be super busy with assignments. Your support and patience is much appreciated. 💗💗

Until next time lovelies 😽

~ K

[ceeridwen99]

BG3 is a R O L E P L A Y I N G GAME...

Okay, time to be a bit controversial but I need to get this off my chest. Mainly because I've been seeing it everywhere. Instagram. Here. Youtube. Even the cursed site that is Reddit. I doubt this will reach many people, but I'll feel better having gotten it out of my head.

I think that a lot of people who play/played BG3 have forgotten that it is of ROLEPLAYING game. Let me repeat that. ROLEPLAYING. That means, that your game is based off of YOUR choices and YOUR choices alone. Meaning that the things you choose to do in this game are based on YOUR interpretation of the media. There is NO canonical interpretation of the game because it is YOUR campaign based on how YOU play. The plotline, the romances, and everything that happens is based on YOUR choices and how YOU decide to ROLEPLAY it.

Why am I putting so much emphasis on this? Well, because with the new patch, some additions were made to Durge's storyline. Mainly regarding Gortash. Nothing major at all, honestly. But, as we know, durgtash is quite a popular ship in the fandom. There was an added line during Gortash's coronation when Gortash expressed that he "liked" the Dark Urge in comparison to his sibling. A line has been added where the Durge can reply "I think I liked you too." That's it. That's what all the fuss is about. Because oh boy, did some people interpret that as Larian forcing durgetash on the players. First...what? How--

Let me preface this by saying I'm NOT a durgetash shipper AT ALL. I don't even like Gortash. Believe me, I've tried to see what people see in it (and him). I went and found all the journals and letters trying to see the romantic connection, and I just couldn't. It seems more like admiration and respect than love for me, but hey...guess what...that's MY interpretation. That's not what those who love this ship feel and that's perfectly okay because it's THEIR Campaign.

My point is, in no way is Larian FORCING a romantic relationship between Gortash and the Durge UNLESS you interpret it that way. Gortash says he "liked" you. Okay, That can mean many things. He respected you as his partner in this whole scheme. He enjoyed your company in comparison to Orin. Or, he saw you as a true friend. Or if you want--and only if you want it--he liked you romantically. And this is vice versa for the new line that was added to further differentiate the Durge from a Tav. It is such a vague line and can be interpreted in so many ways, that I truly don't understand what all the fuss is about. If you don't see Gortash as a previous romantic partner...then don't.

The Dark Urge is in many ways a blank slate. Yes, they have a bloody past when it comes to murder, but you don't have to add personal relationships to it if you don't want to. Hell, in my latest playthrough, my durge was a virgin when this whole mess began lol (They, of course, didn't know that, but it's what I roleplayed). They also never fully recover their memory outside of what's shown in the game. They're a complete blank slate at the start and the end. The durge has no personal background so you can make your own. So you can ROLEPLAY.

If you don't like the idea of Durge and Gortash being a thing...don't roleplay it that way. And, if you interpret that line as romantic DON'T click it. But there is no reason to be going around saying something is being forced on you when it isn't.

(If you want to be mad about something, be mad about Wyll constantly being sidelined compared to every other companion, but that's another post in itself.)

Anyway, if you read this thanks and have fun with whatever headcanon you carry.

[mohgreal]

Hokokokok so I need to get this off my chest and who better than the #1 mohg lover

We all know that radahn being miquellas consort was a shitty choice, writing wise. Literally anyone would have been better. Godwyn, Malenia (putting aside whether Emperyans can be consorts, if Marika and Radagon can do it, so can Miquella and Malenia), Messmer, the Tarnished themselves....

Plus, one thing I really don't like about the DLC is that Miquella's plan is incredibly ridiculous and convoluted. I'm trying not to point out every which way it's stupidly convoluted, but I'm just going to say this: it's not the type of grand villain plan made by an incredibly smart and manipulative antagonist character; it's the type of villain plan that only a writer could come up with because they know how the story goes. AKA the type of villain plan that is not good writing.

Anyway. All this to say: the DLC would have been better if Mohg was Miquella's chosen consort.

First, why would Miquella chose Mohg? Well, we know that pre-charming, Mohg was not the blood lord we see in game. He was called a Luminary (aka "someone who brings light"... Miquella, who's whole thing is light....) and had a lot of people loyal to him and his vision of rule. He wasn't fantasy racist, which is pretty important to Miquella. Plus, Mohg is an omen, cast aside by Marika. Miquella's whole thing is about becoming a god greater than Marika. What better way to stick it to his mom then to not just take an Omen as a consort, but take an Omen who Marika specifically fucked over.

Plus, the way to get to the land of shadows, and thus the gate of divinity, is through the cocoon that Mohg and Miquella have been marinating in. No matter what consort Miquella chooses, it's Mohg's blood that lets him enter the LoS. And if Mohg's body specifically is needed for the ritual (for whatever reason) just cut out the extra step of killing a different guy to stuff his soul into Mohg's body by bringing along Mohg's body with Mohg's soul in it. Kill two birds with one stone.

And you can even keep the "Miquella charmed Mohg into going off the deep end" because Miquella has repeatedly charmed not only his allies, but people who would have followed him anyway. Miquella charms anyone who gets close enough to him.

Also, Mohg and Miquella are just. Such good foils. The parallels. The compare and contrast. They bounce off each other in really interesting ways. I'm not even talking in a shipping context, I mean just from a writing perspective. Mohg and Miquella's goals and ideals align and contrast in such interesting ways that even though they never interact on screen, you can tell they would make an incredibly interesting duo. But Radahn? We have to be told that Miquella admired him and begged for Radahn to be his consort (even though Radahn--the guy who literally stops the hands of fate so that nothing will change--would never want to overturn the GO). When they do interact, it's just Miquella sitting on his back. They don't even talk IIRC.

And for my final point as to why Mohg could and would be a better consort for Miquella than Radahn: Mohg never rode a horse into the literal ground. That's 0-1 in terms of who is more compassionate.

Fromsoft let me write your games now.

i am infact 1# mohg lover. anyway i dont have anything to add since i agree with pretty much everything LOL. anyway i love the sote rant vents

[limerencedisorder]

series masterlist

note: ive been busy af sorry for taking eleven days to write another chapter lmfao. also i have a writers block for genshin impact. apologies😢

cws: Forced relationship, Childe is disgusting, suggestive, other canon characters mentioned, implied sex, I don't ship chilumi lol, kinda just childe being clingy af, bro this chapter is kinda random help

NOT PROOFREAD!

Chapter 1

You awake with an unfamiliar pair of eyes burning through the back of your head. Just as unfamiliar as this bedroom. The bedroom of Childe. It's been six days since the murder of your late-boyfriend and you were accused of the murder.

Fortunately, your "new boyfriend" stepped in and claimed you were with him and his friends the whole time, and you both found the body. Surprisingly "Scaramouche" and "Signora" were the friends and they agreed. Are there more horrible people like Childe?? Is that why they stood up for him?? You thought.

Lost in thought, Childe snapped you out of it.

"Mornin' pretty." He spoke softly. You hesitantly looked behind you, locking eyes with the ginger. Dull eyes. So dark and deep like the abyss. You just stared at him, lost in thought once again.

"Got lost in my eyes?" He questioned. Moving a hand up to caress your cheek.

Finally, you spoke. "No. I was just wondering where I went wrong." You slowly got up, stripped of your clothes because of last night. Gosh you hate to admit but he was amazing. He grinned. "Get changed." He spoke casually.

"For what reason?" You asked him. Lost in thought again. Maybe it wasn't so bad you spent all your attention on Zhongli. After all, he's gone now. At least you made the most of it. Childe glanced at you, putting on his button up. "If something's on your mind you can speak it." He said, completely ignoring your question. He climbed onto the bed and on top of you. "Get off of me." You glared at him. He ignored you and grabbed a shirt from his drawer.

"Wear this." He gently held the shirt against your bare chest. Looking down on the floor, your ripped panties and new shirt in the corner of the room. "Don't you have a girlfriend Childe.." You mumbled. That blonde hair girl with golden eyes. She was clingy towards Childe and Childe seemed to reciprocate her acts and feelings. It would make sense if they were dating. Unless it was another regular girl pining after him.

"I told you last night to call me Ajax." Childe noticed your staring at your panties and shirt, then walked up to it and picked up some of its pieces. "I'll buy you a new one." He looked at your face. Blank. Gosh why were you acting so hard? Is it really that hard to act normal now? He sighed. "You didn't answer my question." You looked up at him.

"You mean that girl named Lumine?" He questioned. "So you do have a girlfriend." You sighed.

"Well-" "I don't think she'll be very happy after finding out her boyfriend committed a crime then proceeded to cheat on her with the victims girlfriend." You interrupted.

He chuckled. "Jealous?" You scoffed. "Of course not. I feel bad for the girl." He just looked at you, his smile fading for a quick second. "Just get changed." His smile returning as fast as it faded. Oh that poor girl.. What would she do when she sees her dear boyfriend with another woman?

Childe left the room, shutting it gently as you watched him leave. You then laid back on the bed, wondering- where did it go wrong? And then you remember. The moment you met eyes with Childe, you should have scrambled away. But you didn't. You curse yourself for being so reckless. His eyes were so bright, but so dead. They were so sharp as if it could cut you with a knife. Many girls found him attractive and you couldn't blame them for it. But he just wasn't your type.

Now he's here, doing whatever he thinks is called love. Gosh you just wished he killed you as soon as you found out. Take what he has to offer? You scoffed. As if.

Childe entered the room, opening the door slightly. "What're you doing? Stay awake pretty I'm making breakfast for you." You rolled your eyes then got off the bed, walking out the door as he shut it gently. He took your hand and led you to the table and smiled. You sat down, him sitting in front of you. You stared at him for a little, a little awkward. He chuckled then rested his head on his hand, smiling at you.

"Eat up pretty." He spoke softly, waiting for you to take a bite of his eggs. You grabbed your utensil that was place on the side of the table, using it to cut the egg. It was odd how Childe would always stare at you when you eat. No matter what it was- A quick snack from him or a drink. But this time, he looked desperate for you to take a bite of his eggs. So you did, and he immediately sat up straight with a huge grin on his face.

Well at least he knew how to cook. You thought, still tasting the food from before.

He had you cuddling against his chest, his soft snores as his grip on you was too tight to be comfortable. A hand on the back of your thigh and the other wrapped around your body, holding you close. You could barely move in the position, squeezed so tight against him. You couldn't breathe too well.

Childe shifted slightly, giving you more space to breathe as you took a deep breath. You sighed in relief. Just this one time, I'll let him. You thought. You were too weary to even care.

You've just been here for the meantime. Childe went out to buy stuff and you would always be left behind. It was irritating. He acted as if you couldn't take care of yourself. In the mean time you just did whatever you wanted. You fucked up some of his stuff and hid them in the corner of his closet.

It's petty but who cares?

Oh you can't wait to see his face when he arrives.

..A voice.

A feminine voice.

It sounds like.. Her.

Tag list:

@notsodivininglover @homopheli

[wonwins]

unspoken bond

itadori yuji x reader - non sorcerer!au

maybe in another life you wouldn't have been so oblivious

cw: angsts, fluff if you squint, timeskips

wc: 909

author's note ~ writing is my form of procrastination lol also how do you even conclude stories wth?!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

yuji was your soulmate. maybe it was romantic or maybe it was just platonic. it was painful to everyone around you two to see how much love you held for each other. you were fools nonetheless. you loved yuji and he loved you–not that you ever uttered those words to each other before–over time you just knew.

to everyone else it was so obvious. the way your mood would change if he wasn’t in class or the way yuji would be slightly more reserved when you weren’t around. you brought out the better qualities of each other. everyone could hear the agonising jokes yuji made yet it made tears run down your face from laughter or see the way you two would sit together at the back of class with your heads together giggling until the teacher would tell you to be quiet or just move you across the rooms from one another.

you guys thought, “that’s what friends do, no?”

in private was another story. of course people thought there was something more between you two while you were out in public, often being mistaken as a couple when you would go out for lunch together which you two would laugh about. but in private it was the way you would confide in each other. be there when the other one was struggling. a shoulder to rest on. the way when you were feeling sad, yuji would wrap his arm around you as you curled into his chest.

sometimes you would just sit in silence but in each other's company. at times someone would slip out without a word and come back with food and silently pass it to one another. since you were young, it was like you’ve been able to communicate without words.

the end of high school was growing near and it was stressing you out. you were nervous for what life after high school meant. you had kept yourself in this little bubble, not thinking about what it would mean to be an adult.

as well you and yuji were parting. it caused your heart to hurt just thinking about it. yuji was going to university in tokyo but you were planning on going abroad for your post-secondary studies.

it was coming faster than you thought. you made sure to spend as much time together whether that be playing video games or lying in the sun reading (well you would read, yuji would just sleep…and occasionally just watch as your faces changed depending on what you were reading about).

yuji was there with your family while you said goodbye at the airport. tears threatening to fall, you hugged everyone first before moving to yuji. you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him like you’d never see each other again. you promised each other to keep in contact and see each other when you got back.

“i love you, yuji.” you murmured. it was like there was another meaning to your words, and if there was you were leaving anyways no point to dwelling on it. it was time to part ways.

“i love you too, yn.” he said, his voice slightly wavering like he was going to cry.

you pulled back and laughed quietly. “don’t cry on me now!”

“shut up, i’m not!”

“yeah yeah whatever.” you smiled. a smile that yuji wish he could bottle up and hold dear to himself forever.

months passed and you both had started school in different places. it took a while to get used to life without each other. you wondered if maybe you would ever feel whole again. you would find yourself missing his hugs when you were homesick.

maybe later you would reconnect and things would be like they were before or maybe you had reached that point in life where you were meant to leave for you own journeys.

you’d sometimes look at his social media and see a girl. he looked so happy with her. the aching in your chest lasted for days, weeks even. maybe you did love him and not in the way you always thought.

yuji felt like shit. he didn’t feel for this girl like he did for you. he has known for years that he loved you more than a friend. he often had girls ask him out but would decline in hopes that some day you might feel the same. when you left, yuji felt so sad. he messaged one of the girls to ask if her offer for coffee was still open.

over the years you slowly lost contact. it just happened slowly. you'd get so wrapped up in your studies that you'd forget to reply for a day, then a week until it became mainly birthdays you'd message.

it wasn’t till years later you ran into each other. the ring on your finger and the little baby that you held in your arms panged yuji’s heart but he was happy to see you happy.

you knew yuji your whole life. you saw the glance at your ring and then the way his eyes flickered. your heart twisted for what could have been.

maybe in another life yuji would tell you how he felt earlier. maybe in other life you would have kept in contact with him trying to reconnect when you came back to japan.

all you hoped was that in another life yuji was still your soulmate. you wouldn’t trade that for the world.

[the-moon-lullaby]

Could you make a kiss headcanon about Castiel or Lysander like you did for Nathaniel? I love your headcanons ❤️

Kisses with Lysander - HSL

N/A : Hii ! thanks for your support darling, here's your request, I hope you like it 💕

𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜 :

It would often be small pecks to show his affection and appreciation at random moments

But then this would grow into a more passionate kiss 

He has this habits of cupping Candy’s cheek while kissing her 

He also has this way of kissing Candy so softly that it makes her shiver 

The kind of kisses that feel as light as a feather and yet, that feel so intimate 

It always reflects a ton of emotions because Lysander is very good at expressing himself through his actions rather than saying it out loud (he’s better with his words with paper and ink)

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎’𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 :

He likes it when Candy kisses his cheek 

He finds it very sweet and even though it is a simple gesture, it shows her appreciation of him so that’s a yes

Unlike Nathaniel (as said in the 1st post of this little series), he’s not embarrassed by it

If he’s shirtless for whatever reason (but you probably guessed which one), he loves it when Candy leaves a trail of kisses across his chest 

It’s a turn on for him 

Of course he loves she goes for his lips (I mean it’s a classic but it’s certainly a way-to-go)

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎’𝚍 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝙲𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢 :

Her hands. All the time. (I won’t argue with anyone about this)

Palm kisses <3 this is so cute

Also offering his hand whenever she’s sat and has to stand up and then proceed to kiss her knuckles (loverboyyy)

He likes to kiss her nape while he’s holding her from behind (bonus point if he was putting on her a necklace he offered her)

Basically kissing her whole body during intimate time (that includes between her legs oops)

Kissing her breast and thighs also (could spend hours on it, I rest my case)

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚜 :

At school, it’s their greeting (the day hasn’t begin if their lips haven’t met each other)

Lysander doesn’t care of people’s opinion (yet, that doesn’t mean he’ll make out with Candy in the hallways 'cause even if he's not shy or anything, he's a pretty private person still) so he won’t be bothered by kissing her whenever he feels like it (or get kissed by her whenever she wants too)

The school garden is their make-out spot (this or the basement. Maybe even both)

I said it in the first part, but sometime it just happens at random moments (for example when Candy do something he finds adorable or when he just feel like Candy needs a little reminder that he loves her)

There we go, I hoped you enjoyed it !

I have been logged out of my account (and I had forgot my password so this was a bit of a shit show lol) so the requests are a bit late to be posted but it’s on the way 💕

[uhgood-girl]

someone (hi, @sweetjikook, careful what you ask for, idk if this is what you wanted lol) asked me what my thoughts are on current jikook in my last post and in an attempt to not be redundant with all of the information already out there, all i can really think about is offering everyone some insight/context on a situation that i know a lot of people probably don't have experience with but i do.

have you ever been in relationship you had to hide?

but between just you and me, having everyone convinced i'm really bad at it is part of the self defense mechanism i built in a long time ago to make sure that when i have to lie, about the more serious things, the things that matter, no one can call my bluff. because i'm actually really good at it. i wasn't given a choice not to be.

how good of a liar are you? me, personally, if you were to ask, i would tell you i'm an awful one. just absolutely no good, can't control my face, i have skin that's prone to blushing (me + seokjin = 1 whole tomato), and even if i manage to get the lie out, it won't take me long to break. and these days, for the most part, that is delightfully true. most of my lies now are white or just silly, meant to be discovered immediately. i have significantly less to lose and am in a space that doesn't require that sort of skill in me anymore.

having to pretend you don't love someone when you really, really do is not for the faint of heart. for every moment alone you can steal together, those precious hours, or if you're lucky days, where no one else is around and you can finally let out all of the pent up affection and desire just to be close to each other that has been building up for who knows how long, there is far more time simply spent alone. alone, as in by yourself and then the type of alone in a crowded room, your partner visible and right there, but as good as miles away for all the ability you have to be near them how you would prefer to be. it's a special sort of hell, to be frank, and the only reason it's worth it is if you and the other person can some how make it work in spite. and i do mean in spite, because there are so many things to spite in those circumstances, but i digress.

truthfully (lol okay, but really), i think when you can ignore the reasons you're having to do it in the first place, there's something rather romantic about hiding. i'm not the first person to write about it and think so. it really does heighten the whole relationship experience. every secret smile shared, every touch stolen, every love letter slipped between the pages of a book passed back and forth in the hall, between classes, (don't romanticize your trauma, folks. do as i say, not as i do) it's low key addictive.

you know when you're in a group and someone says something bizarre and your eyes find your partner already staring back at you with an expression that confirms you're both thinking the exact same thing? that lightning zap of recognition down your spine, a warmth rushing your head and chest because there are few greater feelings than to know and be known, dearly, intimately? it's a little like that, but every single time you look at each other because what you're sharing, it's always a secret. and when it's just you and someone else against the world, it fosters a very specific type of camaraderie and trust, because there are real stakes at play if you mess up. if you are discovered, you risk safety, reputation, and worst case scenario permanent separation, just to name a few.

now, before we continue, i want to take a second and make sure you're not letting any potential preconceived notions about lying, that it's always bad, that thou shall not do it, whatever, cast any sort of moral judgements on the liar. we don't have time or room for that here. if you've never been in an environment where lying was required of you at the risk of yours or worse, someone you love, their well-being, good for you, i hope that never changes. but i ask that you take a second to recognize that lying is not always a negative, deceit not always malicious in intent.

you know who i think is a really good liar? jungkook. are you surprised? good, he's doing it right. call it "it takes one to know one" maybe, but i've watched our little baby star candy get wise fast over the years and at this point, he's got hiding in plain sight (i'm sorry, it's too applicable, iykyk) aka lying by omission down pat. he and i think everyone else involved, actually, knows that most people are going to go out of their way to explain his and jimin's actions as something else. homophobia in this case is both the sword and shield, as is the convenient culture of skinship and the rest of bangtan's puppy tornado physical affection with each other. i'm not saying they wouldn't be like that anyway, i think they would, i'm just saying it's a very convenient smokescreen for people trying to hide otherwise.

also, i'm not trying to make anyone here sound like some sort of evil mastermind, but it's my own personal theory that a lot of the more incriminating situations we've seen on camera were on purpose. whether pushed by jikook themselves (ehh) or the company (probably the latter, bc they're sure as hell in the know), i think something like having an obvious hickey and the culprit's admitting to it was a bit of a boundary test to see just how much they could get away with. people are explaining it away as something totally normal between friends? excellent, write that down.

i, for one, am glad for it. someone out of that pairing needs to be good at it and it is not mr. park lol. jimin is great at so so many things, look, i think he's a slytherin too, but just cunning and ambition does not a good liar make. his "flaw" is his sincerity, he means things too much. it's why those early years of him crushing on jk feel so painfully palpable. it's why you're not going to catch him in a live with the other man, at least not a spontaneous one, anytime soon. (he can't even play it cool in the comments, be so for real right now. on that note, jk isn't necessarily playing it cool either in those lives, but people are faster to write his actions off like i discussed above, for whatever reason suits them, and he knows it.) jimin protects himself and jk by not putting himself in unplanned situations where he's forced to lie to anyone's face (if he can help it) in the first place. it's one of the reasons we've gotten, imo, some of the most insightful answers about jikook from him directly (i love waking up and seeing him, i would want to have him with me if i was stranded on an island, etc.) because if you put him on the spot, 9 times out of 10 he's going to tell some form of the truth.

jk means things too, please don't think i'm accusing him of being disingenuous, i just think he's filled in for what jimin lacks and in this case and particular situation, jimin lacks a single false bone in his body. and really good partnerships have that sort of synchronicity, no? it's one of the reasons i think they work so well, why they've made it this far. that, and i really do think they have all of bangtan and the company behind them too, but that's a different post.

so, my thoughts overall on current jikook aren't really all that different from the perception i have had of them over the last few years. i think they're together and experiencing all of the ups and downs that come with every long term relationship with the unfortunate added pressure of not being able to be open about it (+ being world famous idols + living in an openly homophobic country + impending enlistment ++++ a 100 other things. the cards are really stacked here, sadly.) though, because of idol culture, it's not like they could be open even if they were in het relationships, something that i think is both shitty but also helps them in the long run. and again, i have been in this long enough now that i don't really sweat "evidence" that comes out against them while they are still being loud in their own way. if anything, depending on what it is, i like it because it is further cover for a couple with a whole hell of a lot to potentially lose if they're genuinely exposed. (when i say i like it, this does not include videos of jk potentially being stalked. and my shortest response i could give you in regard to those videos are 1. if it's him, fuck those videos and the people who filmed them, i hope you rot, i didn't see anything that makes me change my opinion of jikook. 2. if it's not him, fuck those responsible and the whole concept still but more ground cover for jikook at least.)

this too is why i'm not particularly bothered by people shipping them with other members. i know i keep emphasizing it, but when the name of the game here is HIDE, every misdirection is a boon. if tae wants to get on live and talk about jk and how close they are, knowing that it will cause a certain faction of people to be loud afterward, so be it. those are literally his best friends/brothers and if taking some of the heat lets them slip further into the background, tae has shown himself to be extremely protective of those he cares about and uniquely clever (now, whether jikook still want him to be doing that at this point can be debated, but i still think his overall intentions are probably good. though don't get me started on how that misdirection is potentially working in his own favor as well lol)

end of day, being in a relationship you have to hide is really fucking hard. it is stressful and painful and heartbreaking and you spend so much time terrified for yourself and your partner that on long nights when you are alone again and you have cried yourself to exhaustion for the nth time, you wonder if it's really worth it, if maybe the purest act of love you could give someone is just letting them go. and if you are unlucky, as i was, the choice is eventually taken away from you altogether. your relationship ends because the world steps in and puts mountains between you and this is not fiction but real life, so you are young and powerless to do anything about it. i wouldn't wish it on an enemy, much less people i really care for. if i'm being really super duper honest here, sometimes the thought of jikook not actually being in a relationship feels like relief to me.

obviously i dont think our situations are perfectly comparable, the main thing being they've kind of already made it. they're adults with their own homes and money and elaborate support systems that seem to include their family and closest friends. if they were exposed tomorrow, who's to say it would even ruin their careers, bangtan have made such an impact on the world at this point it's not a sure thing. but still. it would hurt, needlessly so. it wouldn't be a walk in the park by any means. even if they ever come out on their own, on their own terms, it won't be easy and i simply wish the world was not that way. i think it's really fucking stupid that the world is still this way.

so i know for me, personally, if we ever get confirmation that they're not together...okay. i think my heart will simultaneously clench and unclench. i think i will secretly maintain that they were together at some point, honestly you can snatch that belief from my cold dead hands, but i will not be upset that two people i (parasocial? we still don't know her) care deeply for are suddenly at less a certain type of risk of being harmed.

but until they stop being so loud for anyone paying attention on main, i will be right here, rooting for them to beat the odds. if anyone could, i think it's them.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

RANT because I have to get this off my chest…

I doubt anyone will see this, because I don’t think my posts show on people’s pages but whatever.

and whether you agree with me or not, I don’t really give a fuck but this needs to be said, because this is my personal experience.

as someone that’s been on Tumblr for a few years now & in quite a lot of fandoms, I’ve never really experienced what I have since joining the HOTD fandom. and no it shouldn’t be reasoned with because I joined later AFTER the show aired, nor should it be because I’m a “small” blog. these bullshit excuses should not be the reason for being so fucking uninviting, period. why must I reiterate this…

most of the reason why I get turned off easily within the HOTD fandom is because of how often I see pages forming little cliques and being selective in their inclusivity. “oh but they’re my mutuals” okay great!!!

there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, in fact I have met my own amazing people through this fandom that I would die for, and I encourage you to meet friends (side note - be careful online) but that doesn’t mean you have to strike out or ignore anyone that tries to initiate a conversation or shows support for your blog/work and for it to be not be reciprocated. you guys are so quick to talk about how difficult it is to be a fic writer and to appease people, and yet how exactly are you helping? like cmon I thought I left this shit in high school man, it’s just embarrassing now…

the mutuals I first met in this fandom, as lovely as they were I don’t talk to anymore. why? because I showed my genuine support, put the effort in although it wasn’t being reciprocated, it felt very one sided. and that’s okay, life happens I completely understand that and don’t hold that against you for being inactive. but seeing them later constantly interact with other “big” blogs, all very back and forth between the pages, and be pushed to the side is a very shitty feeling. don’t be an asshole, it’s really not that fucking hard…

and I still support works that aren’t necessarily my cup of tea, and no I’m not bragging but it’s what I fucking do. and the fact I wasn’t receiving the same fucking hurts.

and yes it’s easy to shrug and say “write for yourself, you should be writing for yourself.” which yes I have been, and the whole reason why I began writing in the first place was for myself, cause these ideas that I write and indulge in are mostly for my own “personal” entertainment LOL. but don’t sit there and tell me you don’t get a rush of excitement when someone reblogs/comments on your work, that genuine, incredible feeling when you can bond with other people over your work or when people commemorate your efforts. it’s easier to say “write for yourself” when you haven’t experienced poor or no engagement, and see others receiving constant appraisal and instinctively compare. it’s a natural, normal human response, people will and can’t help themselves to compare.

so stop with this whole clique shit, I’m so fucking over it.

and to the newcomers I’ve met so far, you’ve all been so incredible and your work sensational, continue doing you. it’s THEIR losses, not yours. for the people that can relate to me, I’m sorry you have to go through this but just know you’ll have my full support always.

and I mean… if you want I can be a bitch too, but you’re not going to like it. that’s for fucking sure…

[xxpeppermintxx109]

I’m sorry but you’re lying. I have downloaded your fic from a long time when you started wiriting it. You did not tag it as a love triangle. For instance: I would have never started it if I had seen the love triangle tag. We are stupid like you keep insinuating. You are a liar. The only ship tagged was original female character/aemond. I have the proof of it. A lot people in the hotd fanfic community knows this and has seen the proof. That is why you are known in the fic community as an imposter. For almost a year you didn’t tag it as a love triangle. That is why you keep getting criticism: you used aemond/ewan’s fanbase to gain traction and attention for your fic, and then decided to blindside everyone with your own little fantasy of qoren.

Let me make it clear. It is your story and you can write whatever you want. But it doesn’t mean people have to like it. Most people don’t. And people have a right to give their opinion. But you keep crying about it and making yourself be a victim. Just accept it. You write for yourself and that is totally okay. Just accept the criticism that you cheated your readers and that is why ppl got upset and stopped reading your fics. It’s not because we only want aemond; it’s because that is how you advertised your fic and then switched it up. At least have the decency to be truthful.

You did not tag your fic as a love triangle. You added it months after starting it, after you hooked aemond fans in. That’s why people hate your fic now and don’t trust you.

so actually, no the only pairing tagged wasn’t just aemond and oc

From NOVEMBER OF 2022, what like two weeks after I posted the first chapter mind you, Qoren Martell/original female character was a pairing. And there were a TON of other pairings I shouldn’t have tagged cause they weren’t main pairings, as see this screenshot below :)

Betrayal, angst, and tragedy were tagged since the very beginning. Love triangle was tagged in chapter 5, it appears when looking back at all my screenshots of chapter summaries to upload, which yes is my bad it’s not the VERY beginning but jfc, still EARLY. And guess what, I think I had maybe 5k-8k hits on this fic at that point. That is not me sinking my claws into the Aemond fandom like you so accuse me of, and then just doing a bait and switch.

Qoren only became a viable option AFTER Aemond killed Luke, which if you look at all of my old edits over this last year and a fucking half, has always been the plan. Luke was always gonna die, Aemond was gonna get into shit with Shaera for it. Qoren was an emotional decision on her part. Even now she still considers Aemond a lot of the time. AND I HAVE STATED MULTIPLE TIMES THAT AEMOND AND SHAERA ARE ENDGAME, so unclench jfc.

I don’t paint myself as a victim, when I get shit like this all the time being rude. When I was getting Islamophobic comments comparing MY writing of Qoren to fucking 9/11. When I was getting harassed for the simple act of writing the story as it’s always been laid out by multiple anon accounts who spammed my asks and my ao3 comments. And it sure as hell doesn’t seem like this fandom “hates” me and my story as you so claim, cause I still have a ton of readers who enjoy this story and give it kudos on ao3 and read and interact with me on all platforms, so fuck off lol. Shit, it’s hitting 5k votes on wattpad. Doesn’t seem to me like people hate it or my writing decisions??

Get off anon and say this with your whole chest while you’re at it <3

[that-one-anxious-mango]

lady in my life.

Summary: It’s official…your fave couple is are getting hitched’.

Contents: FLUFF TO DEATH. Clueless reader. Nervous Austin. Happy friends and family. Angst if you squint. Allusions to religion. 

Pairing: Austin Butler x Black Reader

Warnings: I am not responsible for any stray tears or sobbing!

A/N: Hello beautiful humans! It’s me. First, I’m so sorry this took so long! I know I said last weekend but I wanted to make this perfect and rewrote it over and over until I finally stopped the madness. So two, I ask that everyone please be kind! I did my best and I know it’s not the greatest, but honey I put my soul in this lol. As always thanks for reading and sticking with me.

P.S Everyone feel free to comment and send more prompts, asks, and noodles! Much love! *hugs*

---

" You're ridiculous." You grumbled out to the blonde haired man next to in the driver's seat who was laughing at your passionate outrage.

" Am not. " He shot back, " You're just too proud to admit that you might be wrong is all." He countered laughing at the scrunch in your eyebrows that you made as you glowered at him.

" Are too! I mean how could you say that! It's so..so s-o just..wrong! You're wrong, Butler." You concluded folding your arms across you chest in confidence.

" Nope I'm right. You can't beat the original, babe. It's a classic and that's my opinion. Deal with it." Austin cemented.

" Austin. Babe." You turned your head deadpanning him, " I can confidently say that me and about ninety-eight percent of the world will agree that Shrek 2 is absolutely better than Shrek 1. The end. So I don't care what you or any of the other pointy eared people of the world have to say about it because that's not a opinion, it's a fact. " You shrugged.

Smiling at how cute he thought you looked trying to be all serious Austin laughed, " Baby, is this what your going to do if we ever get married. Make fun of me to win a argument and look cute while doing it." He playfully squeezed your thigh with the hand resting on it.

You could feel your cheeks heat at the mention of the two of you married. It was something that you often pondered and had had some musings and conversations with Austin about. You already could see yourself being married but you wouldn’t lie. The thought seemed scary. 

Would you really be enough for him forever?

All of a sudden feeling shy you turned your head toward the window to try and hide the gooey smile on your face that complimented the butterflies fluttering in your stomach that had made a permanent home there since you'd met your man almost two years ago.

Responding you say trying to sound light hearted, " Absolutely. Even though you may be handsome, smart, talented, kind, and equipped with certain mouth skills. I have to keep you from getting a big head one way or another. Besides this one wasn't much of a argument because like I said the clear answer is two. And even though you're wrong, you're still cute."

Austin couldn't help that he kept chuckling at you, " Whatever you say goes then I guess. Just as long as we can both agree that Lilo and Stitch is one of the best movies ever, I think we'll be fine." Austin patted your thigh.

" Well duh. I think you can tell from the fifty thousand times I’ve had us watch it that I whole heartedly agree.” You reminded him. 

Nodding Austin glanced over at you with a smile on his face.

‘And I can’t wait to keep watching it with you over and over again for the rest of my life. He thought.

Eventually the two of you were exiting the car in a parking lot a block away from the Totem. Austin said there was construction being done in the surrounding area of the place so the usual parking lot and spaces were blocked.

Grabbing Austin's hand you sighed already feeling your feet begin to ache at the thought of walking the block in the new black converse shoes you'd just bought that weren't broken in yet. You were feeling cute today for some reason so when you thought of wearing them, you paired the shoes with some nice jeans and a cute blue low neck long sleeved top Austin suggested while you got ready. The two of you were stopping by The Totem for a second before heading over to a casual gathering Austin had been invited to. So you wanted to look your best.

 Your hair was unusually silk pressed and flowing down your back since a couple days ago Alex had asked you to be her test dummy for a new heat protectant she wanted to try, and at the stipulation she clipped your ends you obliged. 

Noticing a frown on your face he asked, “ What’s the matter? “ Shaking your hand to get your attention.

Looking up you shook your head quickly, “ Nothing.” 

He raised he eyebrows while stopping you both, “ Y/N..” He asked.

You already knew that he wasn’t going to let it go you sighed, “ It’s nothing babe, honest. It’s just that I wish I would have worn better shoes. These are about to be a pain to walk in.” You huffed.

“ Well then don’t.” He stated simply back. “ Hop on.” He turned to move so you could jump on his back.

Giggling at how silly he looked you asked, “ Are you serious? “

He laughed back, “ About my baby being comfortable? Fuck yeah. Now c’mon.” He repeated. 

Doing a quick look around you shrugged, “ Okay..then.” You agreed moving to grab at his shoulders.

" Alright, mama. On the count of three. One...two..THREE!" He coached.

Shrieking in glee you launched yourself onto his back where you secured your legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He made sure that you were attached to him good before he continued walking with a giddy you on his back.

You used a hand to cup the side of his cheek as you pressed a multitude of kisses to the side of his face and neck. Equally as happy he moved his head to the side to return the favor to a giggling you over and over again.

And before you knew the two of you had reached the door of the ever beloved totem, but once you seen the sign through the window your gleeful expression dropped.

Closed.

Immediately Austin could feel you begin to wiggle on his back in discontent, " No! No! No! Awe. I really wanted that cookie! " You pouted. " I could have sworn you said they were open when you checked."

Pressing another kiss to your cheek Austin wrapped you tighter around him, " I know, Mama. I did too." He offered." Maybe they just closed for a second for a cleaning or something." He tried reasoning. Just as you were about to suggest that the two of you pick up a box of insomnia cookies and go home to lounge in your underwear, Austin spotted your favorite barista through the door.

" Look it's Cameron. Maybe she can come to the door and we can ask." Austin suggests.

Your eyes grew in introverted horror, " No! No! Austin don't! " You protested trying to shift your body to get him to turn around.

But it was too late he'd already began knocking. " Hey Cam! Cameron! "

" Aus...." You whined feeling yourself involuntarily cringe.

But still that didn't stop him from continuing to knock on the door and call out like a mad person until Cameron finally came to the door cracking it open.

" Hey guys what's up? " She greeted looking chipper than usual. Probably because with the shop closing so her shift was shorter today.

" Nothing much. Sorry to bother you guys. I know you look to be closed and I really hate to ask truthfully. But is there any chance by the grace of God that you may have some oatmeal chocolate cookies and dark chocolate latte mix in there on stand by...maybe." He inquired squinting his eyes.

You turned your head cringing because you couldn't imagine ever feeling this confident to do something like this, and not to mention you felt bad bothering these poor people.

Turning her head to look back toward the café Cameron looked back to the two of you nodding, " I'm sure we could find some for the best of our two customers. Plus we're just closed for a couple hours for some deep cleaning so no big. C'mon in quick before anyone else sees you guys and thinks were open."           

   She ushered you in with a chorus of ‘thank yous’ coming from Austin and yourself.

Once you were inside Austin gently set you down pressing a kiss to your forehead while you made a puzzled face at him.

Even though he was a lot more social than you in most aspects due to his job, Austin was still just as much of a introvert as you at heart. So you were surprised he had knocked on the door like that.

Shrugging it off you glanced around at possibly your most favorite place on earth.

 It looked normal. None of the tables and chairs were put up, the bakery display was full, with treats and all the machines were still running. The only difference was that the store lights were slightly dimmed and that was really it.

They must have just closed. 

Grabbing your hand Austin walked you two over to the register so he could begin placing your usual orders.

For you, a medium light ice mango passion fruit tea with a oatmeal cookie chip cookie. As for him he always got, a extra cold oat milk latte with dark chocolate syrup and a shot of expresso that was usually paired with a cherry turnover of all things. And on days like these where the two of you hadn't eaten but still wanted to make dinner at home you split a harvarti grilled cheese (your favorite).

While Cameron rang it all up he turned to you, " You know what would go great with these, babe? " He questioned bringing out his wallet.

You stared up to him, " Hmm? "

" A poem from the poem machine to read. You mind going to get one while I take care of the rest of this." He questioned with a shiny quarter appearing in his hands to you.

You smiled, " No I don't mind. But first, put this in the tip jar for me, please." You asked handing him the five dollar bill, " And second keep you're quarter, babe I got my own." You shook your cute little googly eyed change purse at him.

The Totem had a really cool thing where they had a gumball machine full of poems from artists discovered and undiscovered throughout many periods of time. When the two of you started frequenting the place more often after your first encounter it'd become fun to get them to read. Plus all the money from the machine gets donated to minority charities which is a plus.

" I know you do. But I want you to use mine, please." He countered.

You frowned, " But you alrea-" . A kiss pressed to your lips cut you off and instead willed you to comply because when he pulled away and looked you dead in the eye, and without a word you took the quarter in your hand and ventured off to come back with a gumball poem.

Once you were around out of sight, Cameron clamped a hand over her mouth to hold in the excited scream that wanted to escape as Austin blew out a big breath of air watching you disappear a bit a ways.

He could hear quiet giggles and muffled laughs coming from the storage room where some of yours and Austin's closest friends were crammed into as they waited for their signal to pop out and start up the potential engagement party or crying session in the cafe's seating.

This whole thing had been two months of planning in advance. From both you and him conveniently both having the same day completely off which wasn't the norm, to all of a sudden earlier in the week Alex and Phoebe wanting to go to the nail salon for some girl time and the hair thing, yesterday night at a dinner hang Beatrice had out of no-where started bawling crying looking at you.                     

   And how The Totem wasn't actually closed for cleaning but rather booked out for the evening by Austin who'd instructed the close friends to get here a hour before the two of you and park sporadically in the area so you wouldn't get suspicious. The whole staff was in on it and had been in the kitchen working overtime to craft the menu Austin and the owner, Margo, had curated for later that consisted of all yours and his fave items from here. For the “casual gathering “ you were dressed for.

Earlier in your relationship during a random late night convo you’d lethargically told Austin your dream engagement scenario which included your future hubby to propose somewhere meaningful to the relationship with some kind of corny heartfelt action. You’d also joked that it’d be funny if there was like a surprise party after or something so you’d be able to skip the hassle of planning a engagement party. 

And even though the two of you sleepily had this conversation a year and a half ago, Austin never forgot.

Waiting until the coast was clear Phoebe walked out with tears in her eyes as she was overcome with excitement and anticipation silently coming around the counter and handing Austin the small black box she'd been entrusted with yesterday on the sly when she came to stop by really quick. Austin didn’t wanna risk you finding it at all. 

Riddled with he nerves shakily accepted it running his finger across the small black box.

Putting her hand over Austin's Phoebe whispered, " It's okay. Don't sweat it. You love her and she loves you. That's all that matters. Just remember to ease into and take your time." She encouraged. " And just keep loving my bestfriend." She advised.

Nodding Austin carefully wrapped her in a hug with a small chorus of thank yous tagged along.

When they pulled apart Phoebe motioned to the storage room door that was cracked as yours and Austin's friends stuck their heads out whisper yelling words of encouragement and thumbs up that stuck out from behind the heads. Including a Ashley who was bonding with her new-found friend Beatrice over a very hefty tissue they were both using. 

Nervously laughing and rubbing the back of his neck Austin cast them one last wave of  a thank you before the door closed and he moved over to bay-window table that had become you and Austin's staple spot. The food was already placed thanks to Cameron. Shooting her a thank you, clammy handed Austin rubbed them together blowing out air in nerves and anticipation while he waited for his future wife to come to the table.

Max, a staff member quietly made sure the camera hidden on a opposite table was rolling and the mic also hidden on your table was working well to feed to the speaker in the storage room so everyone could hear, then scampering back to the kitchen. 

---

When you made it to the poem machine you inserted the precious coin and turned the knob to produce the little plastic container. Although you did get distracted making your way back to the café by stopping to browse some books (which Austin had counted on), you'd picked up a new one by Kennedy Ryan titled Before I let go that you'd been hearing good things about.

Making your way back you found Austin at your table and took a seat.

Hearing your footsteps he quickly pulled himself together to put back on the confident and cool aura he'd been purposefully displaying today.

You can do this, just be cool.

Taking a seat you immediately thanked your man and then began to eat your delights. Austin grinned watching you moan in delight eating your goodies. 

" Good? " He asked watching you wiggle and sway around happily while munching.

You nodded throwing a thumbs up.

" Good. Now, what'd you find, honey? " Austin takes a sip of his latte.

Waiting a second to finish you answered, " Oh..Um. It's that book I told that I wanted to find by that new author I recently discovered Kennedy Ryan. It's the on about the couple who's still in-love with each other after they divorced after being married for years with kids."

At the mention of the D word Austin couldn't help the choke on his coffee that happened as he set down his drink trying to catch his breath.

 Immediately you reached across the table to pat his back in concern. Silently thanking you he motioned for you to sit back down much to your protest. He already felt nervous.

" I'm fine, baby. I'm alright just w-ent down the wrong pipe is all. " He reassured grabbing at your hand. Knowing you'd protest he spoke, "I'm okay really. Just while I catch my breath why don't you read the poem you got." He suggested biting the bullet as he knew he couldn't wait any longer. He knew he needed to ease into it, but he didn’t know if he’d be able to keep himself alive much longer. 

He'd waited two years already.

That was enough.

Still not totally convinced he was okay you still popped the little sucker open and unfolded the strip of square piece of paper.

Taking one more look at him as he offered you a somber smile and nod to the paper.

You smiled not knowing that the small prints on the paper were about to change your life,

" So, it says.." You started:

" To the love of my life,

Our love will be ever thine, ever mine, ever ours                                                    for each passing minute, second, and hour                                                       until the days of our love bleed together.

Because if you'll be my wife,                                                                                      and take me a fool in love as your husband you shall be always be my greatest inspiration and joy in life.

This may be corny, I admit but to you my heart, mind, soul, and essence I commit for forever, always, and beyond.

Written to you will all I am.

Your hopeful future husband,

Austin."

You finished glancing over the words.

" Awe that's so sweet that someone would write that." You said out loud still not fully processing what'd you read.

With extremely observant eyes Austin continued to watch you transform like a caterpillar of cluelessness from a cocoon, to a butterfly in disbelief as you slowly went through the phases of realization.

At first you felt warmth in your heart.

But as the reality set in you felt your heart sped up a little.

O-oh SHIT! 

Is this? Is he? 

For longer than a minute you couldn't stop your eyes from rapidly re-reading the poem over and over again until your vision got a little blurry and you could feel the paper become wet and slick up your fingertip.

Even though your brain was still working overtime to compute what the fuck you had just read. It wasn't fully sinking in until his voice pulled you from your racing thought.

" Baby..."

Like his voice controlled the room you could see out your peripheral that the main lights had been turned down even lower so that beautifully strung string lights that decorated the place brightly at night, popped on. And the sound of Michael Jackson’s Lady in my Life began to play over the store speakers. 

Slowly lifting your head while you felt the tears race each other down your face, you were met with Austin's face that was equally mixed with happiness, fear, and devotion wrapped all into one. He looked a bit flush and his cerulean eyes looked glossy with tears of his own. You watched him look to his own hand, training his view you let out a audible gasp.

And then you that's when you seen it, the small black box that he had in his hand.

 He cleared his throat before starting, " Two years ago today right here in this very spot I fell in love with you and had half the mind to ask you to marry me then. And each day since I’ve found a new reason to keep falling. Your the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last person I wanna see when I go to bed. I love you. I mean every part of you. I love your kind heart, budding intelligence, fierce loyalty, those curls and coils that grow our of your head toward the sun, those delicious thighs decorated with beautiful handcrafted marks and strokes from god's paint brush." You began blushing at this part.

" I want our children to inherit that smile that has the power to brighten any room you enter. I wanna look you in those gorgeous eyes that sparkle when you talk about your goals and dreams that I'll use every ounce of my power to support and help make happen. I'll keep forcing you to take cold medicine even if it means physically holding you like infant again. And I’ll watch Twilight, Lilo and Stitch, Greys Anatomy and whatever the hell else to keep you as happy as possible. " He recalled his interesting introduction to your aversion to flu medicine.

" Since knowing you there isn't anyone else I could imagine wanting to spend the rest of my life with. Sharing good times and bad, awkward and more awkward. " He continued making you smile. " You came into my life and made me grow as a human being and then from a little seedling our relationship has grown too through the love we have. And I want it to continue to grow...only now I hope it will grow with us as husband and wife." He declares.

“ Baby, you are the lady in my life and I want you and only you to be my lady. Forever.“ He continues.

Wordlessly you watched as he got up to kneel down in front of where you sat opening up the little black box to reveal a absolutely gorgeous ring you were almost too certain was too nice for your hand.

Looking to you he inhaled before asking staring you straight into your soul,         

“ So..Y/N Y/M/N Y/N, will do this poor fool in love a mercy and please marry me? “ He finished.

Still stunned you were quiet feeling as if you were stuck.

You couldn’t believe this was happening.

This man who could have married probably any woman on the planet was asking YOU, of all people to marry him.

YOU!

You felt worry begin to creep in. Worry that you wouldn’t be enough for him, worry that he wouldn’t always feel the same, but mostly worry that you’d screw this up. 

Growing up you’d never really had a example of a healthy or stable loving marriage. So how good would you be at something you had no idea about? 

That worry wanted to push you to say no and bolt out the door to go into the nearest witness protection program.

But when you looked at this man. Really looked your man, who you’d spent every minute of two years loving, and wanted to love for the rest of your life. 

All the worry melted.

Because he was it. He was the man who made even your deepest fears melt, and that was the kind of man you’d always hoped and prayed to marry.

You didn’t hide the gooey and down right bright smile that formulated on your face.

Not wanting to keep an obviously sweating Austin in suspense any longer, or unknowingly a whole backroom, kitchen staff, and others on edge who were clutching their pearls while holding on to each other. You spoke. 

" Does this mean on the honeymoon we get to play accidentally in love in the background and have a montage like Shrek and Fiona ...or one like twilight." You goofed smiling through tears.

Blowing out air of relief as he was sure he was about to keel over he chuckled, " Woman what am I gonna go with you." He admired laughing at the power only you possessed to make him laugh while he was having heart palpitations. 

Your smile widen, " Well, first your going to put that ring on my finger, and then lift out this chair and desperately make out with me, and then we're going to plan a honeymoon montage sequence to rival all honeymoon montage sequences, because the answer is yes. A million times yes I will marry you Austin Robert Butler." You answered before jumping up and down in your chair.

Not stopping the tears from rolling down his face he says, "So bossy, “ He joked laughed.

“ Well I warned you this would happen, didn’t I.”

“ You did. And whatever you say goes.” He grinned “ That’s the rule now.”

Grabbing your hand to slid on the stunning jewelry. You didn't get too long to gaze at on your finger because like you requested Austin stood to his feet pulling you up to hoist your legs around his waist as the two of you locked yourselves in a all breath taking, passion filled, white searing kiss that you wish could have lasted forever.

But of course it didn't because you both were interrupted by the sounds of multiple cheers and woops coming from somewhere.

Confused you pulled away watching in amazement as yours and Austin's friends pooled in from the storage room as well as some entering the store through the door.

You playfully pouted at him realizing now all the things he’d done. He’d actually taken you serious and listened.

God! You loved this man!

Placing a big fat kiss to his lips. You wiggled out his embrace before you were practically tackled by sobbing friends.

For the rest of the night the party was set up before your eyes and you got to celebrate mingling with yours and Austin’s friends who some congratulated the two of you, and others started planning future baby showers and anniversary dinners.

After things got a bit overwhelming, Austin had found you and recused you to a small quiet place between bookshelves so you could make out and slow dance the night away with your...fiancée.  

[codenamesazanka]

Happy Valentine’s Day, Nat! I hope you had a great time.

I shamelessly just want a drabble where Shigaraki attempts to spice up Valentine’s Day for spinner cuz he’s been busy lately and he’s trynna make up for all his absences from before w pleasure + lots of fluffy love lol. dunno how to word this, I might just wanna read them fuckin’, sorry ‘bout that! Completely fine if you’re not comfortable w it, but also…. Please drop Spinaraki recs if you can :’D

My deepest apologies for taking so long!!! And then apologies again for this not being Shigaraki and Spinner fucking. But they get close. PG13.

500 words. Also set in some magical AU where Shigaraki delayed the surgery

.♡.

The Doctor had been glooping him throughout the country the whole past week - some final little tasks, he said. Tomura thinks it's revenge for deciding to delay the surgery, but whatever - completionist run, fine. It still meant dealing with the Doc and Sensei’s annoying leftovers, and the taste of acidic sewer sludge on his tongue for days on end.

Then when he finally makes it back to the villa, there’s President Baldy, insisting he's needed for a meeting - swears it would be an hour; ends up taking three. 

So by the time Tomura locates Spinner, he doesn't want to bother with anything extra. Bed? A room? Decency? All unnecessary. He devours Spinner right here in the cafeteria.

After a week apart, Spinner is just as horny, pressing eagerly back into Tomura’s kiss, into his chest; hips moving to meet Tomura’s when Tomura slides onto Spinner’s lap. It's only when some asshole clears their throat that Spinner’s unfortunate sense of rationality comes back. 

“W-wait, Shigaraki!” Spinner says, but he's leaning into the bites and licks Tomura is giving his neck. “It’s—ah—lunchtime—” 

“Yeah, I noticed.” Tomura says. “But you're basically finished.” 

“That’s—”

“We're all eating here,” someone growls. Some old guy, glasses and giant mustache. “And this is extremely poor behavior for the Supreme Commander and a Lieutenant to be engaging in public!”

Liberate yourself from being a prude, Tomura thinks of saying. Waste of time, though, when he can instead dig his hands up Spinner’s shirt. 

Spinner squirms. “Let’s—We should—” He yelps when Tomura finds his nipples. “Shigaraki, you don't want people to—”

“What I want is you.” Tomura says. “What's wrong with everyone knowing that?”

Underneath Tomura, Spinner’s breath and heartbeat quickens. His body tenses painfully rigid, so much Tomura thinks something’s going to snap, before Spinner melts completely, becoming a warm embrace that molds fully around Tomura, fitting perfectly against all his edges. 

Somewhere beside them, Mr. Compress - Tomura vaguely recalls catching a glimpse when he ambushed Spinner - says, “I think what our Supreme Commander means is that he wants only Spinner to be here, so… We all have to leave.” A pause. “Go! Order from the Supreme Commander, go!”

Utensils clatter against plates and chairs squeak across the floor, all with impressive unity. Even the marching footsteps out of the room sound synchronized. 

(As Compress walks past, he greets Tomura too: “Welcome back, Shigaraki. You see, Spinner? You needn't have worried, not when Shigaraki is clearly in perfect, virile health…”)

Through the noise, Tomura can still hear Spinner’s soft, shy groan. “We’re gonna get yelled at later. And everybody's going to think we’re perverts now.”

“Their problem.”

Spinner sighs. “Let's go too.” 

“Why? Everyone's gone.” 

Spinner blinks. His cheeks turn vividly pink. “...You really want to—do it, right here? Now? Here?”

Tomura gives those colorful scales a lick, then pushes himself off Spinner and kneels to the ground.

“Been throwing up warp goop all week.” Gripping Spinner’s thighs, Tomura parts them. “Give me something better to taste.”

.♡.

Still working on the rest of the requests. I WILL finish them.

As for the Spinaraki recs - I'll make a separate post later!.