#i meant caine

[samxid]

guess who remembered how to use PowerPoint!

[pouletpourri]

the real reason kaufmo abstracted

[roppiepop]

Who’s coming to the cookout?

[starspilli]

batkid fit doodles

[peninsulaisms]

Somewhere in the mornington peninsula, 1992

[ashoss]

my fav nottwins

[puppetmaster13u]

3am Prompt/Au Idea

What if, like love evil Dick in DC Vampires, more power to him, but like, imagine for a second...

Bruce, after finding out one of his kids is the self-proclaimed Vampire King, just holds up his hand, gathers up said kids into a room and just-

"I am not mad-" Several exchange looks that are half alarmed and half guilty, seeing as they're unsure why they've been gathered up at this moment. "-nor am I disappointed."

Bruce, fully channeling dad mode, "But what did we agree on for world domination plans?" (Somewhere a snooping hero chokes)

"Not to do it when you're on world so you don't have to at least attempt to stop us?"

"Exactly. Now, which one of you broke the rule and now has new medical information you didn't inform Alfred of...?"

[halfusek]

what's wrong? dig in! ^o^

collab with @rinkopatateneko <3

[demonictacobeard]

Charlie, trying to cheer Adam up: Hey I know Hell can be a bit much, and we do have bad stuff happen to us but it’s not all bad! There’s parts of Hell that are just so different, and it can be amazing. And hey, your son Cain is here! He’s actually kind of a big deal, the very first overlord and all. He’s retired now and is the leader of the biblical settlement outside of pentagram city if you want to……Adam?

Sinner Adam, staring down at Charlie with wide eyes because Heaven told him all his kids chose to be reincarnated because the winner and sinner system hadn’t been set up yet until when Adam died: Cain’s here?

Vaggie, going ice cold from surprise as she sees desperation on Adam’s face for the first time: Oh shit he was human underneath all that asshole

[aalghul]

I can't find my post but I still think the reason a lot of jason and cass interactions feel off is because we need to address that they're the exact opposite in that cass killed and was changed by the toll it took on her to take a life, and spends so much time believing she needs to give her life to atone. meanwhile jason was killed and was changed because he knows what it is to die and lose your whole life, and he willingly becomes a murderer to save people.

even in respects to the emphasis being on victims vs mourners? cass (who has taken a bullet for a murderer) allowed a killing to occur when she could've stopped it and it was when a murderer was on death row but the mother of his victim told cass she had to let him die because her daughter died. Cass wasn't happy about it, but she stepped aside. jason kills specifically to stop there being future victims. this is what motivates his first kill and every other kill in lost days. when he asks bruce to kill joker, it's not so that bruce or anyone else will be at peace knowing someone who hurt others is dead. it's so that jason (the victim) will, theoretically, be content. so that there won't be other ppl who become victims of the joker's.

their case isn't as simple as loving or hating the other. they have to exist in a weird grey space with each other unless you're forcing them to not think about themselves entirely. their relationship would honestly have to be more complicated than the average bat relationship and that's saying a lot.

[theflashjaygarrick]

Wild to me how people say Cass can't date to Steph because they're basically siblings when:

Steph first really got associated with the family by dating Cass's adopted brother, so that the sibling allegations are inherently weird

There is no world in which Bruce sees Steph as a daughter, she's a friend of his actual children who he sees around a lot

Bruce isn't her father figure, he's her bother figure (because he's always bothering her)

The bat family does not mean literal family, it's like a weird friend group/a sitcom style workplace that's weirdly close. Bruce is basically a grumpy guy Steph is interning for at this point

[ehliena]

Vampire King Dick Grayson: I just wanted one of my brothers to join me. Is that so much to ask?

But also does this:

Maybe don't beat them to death first Dick.

[obamerzslop]

Caine being cute in that one hoodie. This was supposed to be a joke, a funny haha low effort art, can you tell?

[cassandracain52]

My Batfamily piercing headcanons

(note: these are just my personal headcanons)

Dick: Has thought about getting a piercing but always ends up deciding against it because he doesn't like needles

Jason: Got his nose pierced when he was 14 and never told Bruce(don't ask how he hid it idk readers choice). Was pissed to find the hole had closed after his dip in the Lazarus pit, so he got it re-pierced but doesn't wear it often, usually just at night. And no of course it doesn't have anything to do with the fact he still hasn't told Bruce. Nope not at all

Tim: Got his left ear pierced when he was 15 because Steph told him a bunch of other skaterboarders were doing it and he ended up liking it. (she lied she just thought it would make Tim look hot. She was right) He doesn't wear it on patrol or for important meetings, but he still makes sure to wear it often enough to not let it close

Stephanie: Has both her ears pierced as well as a double helix piercing and a smiley piercing. She wants to get more but keeps changing her mind as to where.

Cass: Only has her ears pierced and that's only because Steph and Babs did it for her. Doesn't trust needles (see Batgirls #2)

Barbara: Has both ears pierced and got her belly button pierced when she was a teenager. Her belly button piercing ended up closing after she kept it out too long when recovering from getting shot and hasn't gotten around to getting it redone.

Duke: Has no piercings or a particular desire to change that fact, but he isn't really against the idea either. (Stephanie is determined to get that boy an eyebrow piercing because he would "totally own that look")

Damian: Went kinda crazy with it after Alfred died and he went off on his own. First Nika convinced him to get his eyebrow pierced and it just escalated from there. At present he has a grand total of 7 piercings with plans to get more. His piercings currently include his ear lobes, snake bites, his eyebrow, his nostril, and his septum. When Dick first saw him with all his piercings in he nearly passed out

Bruce: Had some wild teen years and got his ears, tongue, and septum pierced. Stopped wearing them when he traveled to train and they ended up closing. The only evidence they ever existed is a few stray paparazzi photos/videos and Alfred's word(he is sworn to secrecy)

Alfred: Everyone thinks the answer is a big fat "NO" as to if he's ever had a piercing but in reality he has had exactly One. When he was very young, before he met the Wayne's, he lost a bet and let an army buddy pierce his nose. A great deal of alcohol was also involved. He took it out after a few weeks when it got infected because the needle hadn't been sterilized and they were still out traveling around North Africa with little supplies. They never spoke of it again.

[forgetmaenott]

Experimentation - SHOWTIME

SUMMARY: Pomni isn't sure if Caine knows what he feels towards her, so she experiments a little bit. She's just curious. Nothing else. Nothing at all.

a/n: Title is also a double meaning for me, as this fic was written more so as practice for the sillies more than anything else. So apologies If it's a bit all over the place. I wasn't going to upload but Showtime fans are deprived of content so I will give you what you need 🙏

Pomni was far from oblivious to the things that Caine did to impress her.

Initially, it had been small attempts at making her happy--no doubt as a result of her first few adventures being particularly unpleasant. Caine didn't seem to understand most things about human responses, but it was of Pomni's understanding that it was in his programming to make everyone happy. And Pomni, from day one, had made it exceedingly clear just how unhappy she was. If anything, she was a challenge to Caine's coding, just begging to be fixed. Why wouldn't he put in a slight more effort for one of his superstars?

With time, though, his check-ins and side quests for her grew into...something else. Lingering touches on her hand or shoulder, seeking opportunities to show her, and only her, a preview of an upcoming adventure. Sometimes she caught his lingering gazes, his artificial eyes searching for validation of his work, and it made her wish to shrink away. He'd move his thumb lightly across her hand experimentally, sending a rush of nerves through Pomni's system. Or he'd fly around excitedly--often at the expense of Pomni's stomach--to show her something new he had coded into the circus. Or he'd show up in her room under the guise of a check-in, only to stay and talk with her for nearly an hour. He hung onto her every word, and Pomni had to admit to herself, she rather enjoyed his presence in those times. Getting to explain bits of her real life memories to his fascinated gaze; as she regained the pieces of what real life had been like, he was just beginning to understand it.

Just a day ago, she had found herself mindlessly recounting vague details of reality that she had once adored--the flickering of stars in a quiet night, the humming of crickets, the feeling of a slight breeze, the slight running of water nearby. She didn't know where that memory originated from, but she could still feel it. It was strange, not remembering facts but remembering feelings.

And now, she found herself recounting these thoughts as she waited for Caine on a "special adventure", staring at the way the digital stars twinkled in the night sky, and how her wisps of hair gently brushed across her face in the breeze.

His favoritism wasn't subtle, but Pomni had always tried to deny it to her friends. But now, standing here and seeing the ripples on the digital lake, she couldn't help but wonder. Was it really so bad? Wasn't it almost endearing that Caine had found himself so enamored with her? That he was falli--

"Good evening, my dear!"

Pomni stiffened at the sound of her ringmaster's enthusiastic voice, jumping out of her thoughts and flushing at the realization of what she had been considering. "AGH--Caine! How many times have I told you--"

"Ah, apologies, my dear. I just can't help but be over-the-moon about your private adventure!" Caine winked at his not-so-subtle play on words, zipping around excitedly above her.

Pomni rubbed her head. "Uh...okay...that's great," she said quietly.

"Isn't it?? I stayed up ALL night working on this just for you! Not that I need to sleep, of course," he chuckled before lowering to her level, carefully grabbing her hand in both of his, "But I did it! Just for you, dear."

"Just for me?" she repeated mindlessly. Her mind screamed the same words: AI, Program, NOT REAL, but she couldn't help but gaze again at the flickering stars and wonder--

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"O-oh." There it was. His favoritism showing itself once again, his devotion to her and her alone. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles, gazing down at her hand as though he wished to memorize each detail. This was crazy. She couldn't let him be so foolish as to be interested in her, she couldn't let this go any further. "Caine--"

"Ah, ah, ah! This adventure is about you. I have SO much to show you!" His gentleness faded instantaneously from the excitement, the pressure on her hands growing tighter as he pulled her in. Before she could even process the closeness or the fluster, he grabbed her waist and graciously flew her above the lake. He set her down on a digital cloud, which she was able to step on as though it were a solid surface. She avoided looking down, tensing as she looked around her. "As your ringmaster, it is my sole purpose to make YOU and all of your co-stars happy," he exclaimed, pointing an exaggerated finger at her, "and I couldn't help but notice how your mannerisms changed when you told me about your world. My dear...I cannot return you to your world. But perhaps, I can bring your world here."

Pomni's heart skipped a beat at the gesture, which she tried to ignore. This wasn't the same Caine from her bad dreams when she'd first arrived. This was...different. Entirely different. "For...all of us?" she asked slowly.

His demeanor broke for a moment. "Ah--yes, yes. Of course! My role is to assure everyone at the circus is happy," He paused in thought for a moment before he flew down by her side and cautiously approached her, "but admittedly, you've been quite the challenge for me since you've arrived here. You're a bit stubborn, you know."

"Is that a bad thing?" Pomni cracked a smile.

"Not exactly, dear. It's one of my favorite traits of yours. It's what keeps me coming back to you," Caine said with what she assumed was a smile.

Pomni felt a light blush dust her pale face. "I don't think you know what you're saying."

Caine titled his head curiously at her. "Why is that?"

Pomni blinked. He really didn't know what he was saying, did he? Did he even know what he was feeling? Could he even feel anything?

She glanced sidelong at the flickering stars, the lake below her, the way the clouds swirled up and floated around them--enough to give her the courage to test the waters. Before she could listen to the voices in her mind screaming at her, she grabbed his gloved hand in hers. "So...you like that I'm a challenge to your purpose? Or is it something else?" she asked experimentally, hoping the quiver in her voice wasn't too obvious.

Caine's eyes widened at the sudden contact, too afraid to move his hand an inch at the risk that she would let go. Not that Pomni could see his reaction, as she was too busy looking at her red and blue shoes to avoid meeting his gaze with her flushed one. "Something...else? What would that be?"

She lightly traced her index finger along the edge of his hand. Oh, God. She didn't even know what she was doing. How does she even answer a question like that to an AI? "Well...what do you, uh, feel?" She sealed the gap between their fingers, interlacing them together carefully.

If Caine could breathe, his breath would have easily caught in his non-existent throat. "I feel that I want you to be happy."

"Because of your programming? Or...something else?" Pomni said before she could cringe at her own words. She was just asking because she was curious, that was all. She just wanted to know if he knew what romantic feelings even were, nothing more. Or so she told herself.

"Well, I want you to be happy all the time. Because of me. That is my purpose, isn't it?"

Pomni smiled half-heartedly. Intentional or not, he was making this extra difficult for her. "Yeah..." she agreed quietly, a strange pit settling in her stomach. Maybe he was just coded to be this way. Maybe she was just being extra difficult. Before she could think of anything else to say, the sudden sensation of his smooth teeth against her hand sent shockwaves up from her hand and into her digital heart. She stilled at the sensation, gaining the courage to meet his gaze as he lifted his teeth from her hand, a cartoonish flush appearing on his lower jaw.

"But, I do find myself feeling more...drawn to your happiness, dear," he admitted, looking to the side sheepishly. He brushed his thumb against her knuckles where he had left a kiss, causing Pomni to shiver. "My dear? Did I do something wrong?"

Pomni squeezed her pinwheel eues shut, tensing her shoulders. "No, no--Caine you--" she stuttered, "I..." God, what happened to her composure? She had never been like this around him before. But suddenly every movement against his hand sent chills across her body, every thing he'd done to make her happy felt significant, and--oh, God. She couldn't possibly be--

"Darling," Caine said, so quietly Pomni almost couldn't believe it was him. His hand trailed up to the curve of her chin, gazing at her so softly she felt dizzy, "you don't need to worry around me. You've taught me so much about your world, about how the human mind works. So dear...don't be afraid to teach me more."

Pomni couldn't tear her eyes away from his gaze, tongue tied by his intense adoration in his eyes. "What is it you want to know?" she asked quietly, her lips seeming to move before her mind could catch up.

"Anything you have to show me."

There was certianly no way he understood what he was implying.

And there was even less of a chance she was actively considering all the things she could show him. She blushed at the thought.

"Caine?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"I love this. All of this. Everything you've added to the grounds for me. It's sweet of you, and...it really feels a bit more like home. I-I just thought you'd want to know that it...you made me happy. Thank you."

Caine's eyes glistened cartoonishly, unable to tear his eyes from her. "Pomni," he sighed, saying her name for the first time all night somehow felt more intimate than any contact they'd had, "why is it that I feel this way?"

Pomni flushed. "What way?"

"I have made you happy, my very purpose as your ringmaster. But now, I don't want to stop making you happy. I..." he tightened his grip on her hand, "I've never been close like this to anyone before. Truly. Would it be so bold as to call you a friend?"

Pomni struggled to contain an incredulous laugh--he really didn't understand what he felt, did he? "I...think you're becoming a friend to me, as well," she admitted, staring down at their hands still clasped together. He had moved the hand on her face down to hold the top of her hand, gently rubbing circles against it. In the back of her mind, she still felt the imprint of his teeth against her hand, her heart speeding up at the thought. "Caine?"

"Mm?"

"Is it...well, um...would it be okay if...I taught you, one more thing?"

"Why Pomni, I'd love nothing more than that!"

Pomni smiled. "Okay, it's just..." she hesitated, allowing herself to get caught up in the way the stars twinkled around them before tracing her hands up to his chest, then his shoulder, then below his lower jaw. She could see him gazing at her curiously, stiffening at the way her hands slid up him. Before she could regret it or think twice, she moved closer and tilted his teeth to her right before planting a quick, firm kiss to the left side of his lower jaw.

Time stilled for Caine, pupils dilating and jaw frozen slack in place as she pulled away. The stars he had created just for her reflected in his eyes, her touch lingering everywhere they made contact. He didn't even realize he had placed his hand on his lower jaw until he saw her flushed face pulling away. His tongue tied, breath stolen from his metaphorical lungs, he could do nothing but stare at the woman before him that somehow seemed more beautiful than ever under his starlight.

Pomni's heart raced at the way he was looking at her. This was all too much. Why had she even done that? What was going on with her tonight? When he stared at her, frozen in time, her face burned more and she twiddled her thumbs. "U-uh, can you put me down, now?"

It took Caine a moment to register her words. "Y-yes. Of course, darling."

He didn't even have it in him to carry her down with him. No, she had left his code too starstruck with the gesture that mystified him. He simply snapped and the two of them were by the digital lake. She walked towards it and experimentally dipped her gloved finger into the waters, relishing in the sensations around her digits.

She looked back at him with a small smile, his code seeming to thrum excitedly at seeing her joy because of him.

Her taking the next step of intimacy left him confused, to say the least. There was far less about human emotion and mind that he understood, and if anything, the static-like feelings in his chest were nothing short of a mystery to him. Perhaps he'd have to check himself for a bug later.

No matter. He shook the thoughts from his head, the feeling still lingering as her floated by her side, unable to stop smiling at her quiet demeanor. She took in every detail he had added just for her, smiling to herself.

She'd have time to regret her forwardness later. Or scream into her pillow about developing a crush on an AI. For now, there was only this moment.

"Thank you, Caine."

"Anything for you, my dear."

And he meant it.

[boommstickbvtcher]

VIOLENCING HIM IN HIS OWN HOME...