#i might decide later if the placement is different

[hazzybat]

Got some little doodles commissioned for a charity thing from @ajitanparmesan and a discord friend (unsure if they have tumblr).

Absolutely adore them! These are Joker Out from my Monster AU!

[lvrxly]

ִ ࣪𖤐- An Odd Feeling

Simon "Ghost" Riley x fem!reader

summary: your neighbor, Simon, is a single dad. and you frequently babysit his son, Oliver. You've grown to love Oliver, buying toys for him, planning play dates, and even offering to babysit him while his dad goes on a date..wait what? You really thought after all of this Simon would choose you, but maybe he will..?

cw: simon is somewhat oblivious at the beginning >:((, mdni - smut, slight age difference (Simon is in his mid-30s while the reader is in her mid-20s), unprotected sex, breeding kink on Simon's part, oral sex (f receiving), Simon can't help but want another kid after seeing how you treat his :((

a/n: sorry this took so long to get posted! and i apologize for any grammar mistakes, i don't have the energy to edit this right now ;( (it's almost 4am).

hope you enjoy lovies ;)

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"Thanks again for this love, I should be back around 9pm, please try and get him to bed before then," Ghost says frantically as he passes his son over to you along with his diaper bag and favorite blanket.

There was that damned nickname again. 'Love'. Simon always seemed to call you love, it was almost infuriating how that little pet name could make your heart race and your cheeks heat.

Simon had a date with someone a friend of his set up for him, Soap, you think was the guys name. From a photo Simon showed you, she was pretty, gorgeous even. Slim and tall, long blonde hair, and seemingly put together.

"Yeah no problem. Have fun, try and get laid. You definitely need it," You say with a dry laugh, bouncing his son, Oliver, over to your other hip. Why the fuck would you say that? 'Get laid?' Why would you even suggest such a fucking thing knowing you can barely stomach watching him go out on this date in the first place.

He cleans up nice, a fitted pair of dark grey khaki pants with a white button up shirt, the sleeves rolled, revealing his tattooed forearms, and his sandy blonde hair slicked back out of his face, making him less shaggy looking than you were used to.

Simon laughs and waves goodbye as he turns on the heels of his dress shoes and hops down the steps of your front porch. You wave at his back, shutting the door with a heavy sigh. You turn around and set Oliver down, watching as he bolts toward the little corner of your living room which you had designated as his play area for when he comes over.

Your heart feels heavy as you walk over towards your couch, tossing Oliver's diaper bag and blanket onto one of the cushions. You flop down onto the other cushion, kicking your feet up on the coffee table that is placed in front of your couch.

Oliver looks just like his father, from what you could see anyways. Dirty blonde hair, gunmetal blue eyes, and a small dimple on his left cheek. He was an adorable kid, an easy one to babysit too.

Oliver runs up to you, a toy tractor in his hand as he holds it up to you, his other hand rested on your knee as if to help him balance better. "Tac-tar!" He exclaims.

You smile at him, taking the toy he was offering you, and touching your fingertip on his nose, causing the little boy to giggle. Enough about Simon. Oliver was your date tonight. Your own play date buddy.

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It was a little after 9pm, maybe just about 9:47, when Simon got back. He had knocked on your door for a good 5 minutes before he gave up and decided to let himself in.

He used the key that you would poorly hide under your doormat. The two of you would get into arguments about the placement of the key.

"It's the most obvious spot, love, you're gonna end up getting robbed on of these days." Simon had said the day you told him where it was, he was always worrying about your safety. You knew he was an ex-military Lieutenant, but then again that might just be the dad in him talking.

After unlocking your front door and pushing it open he begins to speak, "Sorry I was a little later than I thou-" But he cuts himself off after his eyes land on your couch.

There you laid on your back, an arm falling off the couch and a leg propped up on the back cushion, snoring lightly. That position couldn't have been that comfortable. But that's not what made him freeze. It was how his son was laying on your chest, fast asleep with his favorite blanket draped over his back. You looked as if his son was your own.

His breathe is caught in his throat as he stares at the two of you, slowly shutting the door behind him as he makes his way over to the couch.

A small smile paints his face as he stands behind the small and slightly sad turquoise couch, bending down so his forearms rested in the back cushion. He watches you sleep, his eyes dragging up and down your frame. After a moment he uses a single finger to brush a stray piece of hair off of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

His smile never falters as he pets the back of his sons head, his long blonde hair slightly sweaty from how hot it probably was being all nuzzled up to you.

You stir in your sleep, your eyes fluttering, only for them to end up shooting wide open in shock. You gasp and clutch the back of Oliver, sighing after realizing who was really watching you sleep.

You sit up, cradling Oliver in your arms, careful not to wake him. "Do you normally watch people sleep?" You say with an annoyed look on your face as you rub your eyes, sleep still attempting to pull you back in.

After regaining most of your consciousness, you stand from the couch, your clothes wrinkled and Oliver's little head on your shoulder as you hold him in your arms.

"Eh, define normally," Simon says, a joking tone noticeable in his voice. Was he trying to make a joke? Since when did Simon Riley ever makes jokes? What the hell happened at the date?

"Your in a good mood. You didn't really end up getting laid right? You know what..? I don't think I wanna know." Your words are frantic and slightly irritated. Why did you feel so...odd right now? Simon is a single man. He has the right to go on dates with beautiful women. Unfortunately.

You bounce around your kitchen, rocking your hips side to side to keep Oliver asleep for as long as possible. You can't help but notice how Simons eyes follow your hips as they move. And..what was that? Did he just groan? No no, that would be crazy.

"No I didn't get laid," He finally replies. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding in. Almost like a breath of relief.

"If I was getting laid I would have gotten back a lot later..It takes more than 30 minutes with me, love.." Simon was suddenly behind you, his breath hot on your neck as his hands hover above your hips, heat radiating off of his tatted skin, almost scorching the flesh of your thighs through your pants.

You stop bouncing his son, glancing over your shoulder at Simon and..holy shit he was close, almost too close. Those damned eyes were pulling you under and you didn't know if you wanted to be saved.

Oliver shifts in your arms, waking up slowly. His tiny hands rub his eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them. Once he's awake and spots his dad he immediately makes grabby hands towards him.

You gladly hand him over to Simon, anything to get away from the man that was way way wayyyy to close for comfort. You give Oliver to his father and take a large step away from Simon. You see his smile falter but he quickly regains his composure when his son calls his name, his tiny hands on Simons cheeks.

"You have fun while I was away buddy?" He asks his son, to which Oliver responds with a vigorous nod. He then begins to blabble on about his trucks and snacks he ate, but you space out, your eyes still locked on the two of them.

Simon looked so good with a kid, he was a good dad. You can't help but imagine how good he must have been to his wife while she was pregnant. Her lose for leaving him. He's a great guy. Unfortunately, that means women probably throw themselves at him. Hot, ex-military, AND good with kids??? Yeah, they definitely do. And you would to, if you were so full of self doubt.

"Love?" You hear Simon say, his eyes now focused on you as Oliver was seemingly put down to go play for a little longer.

"I asked if you're free this weekend? Oliver is going over to his grandparents for a few days and I was wondering if you'd like to do something?" His voice was shy...that was weird. It's almost like-

"Are you asking me on a date?" You say, a teasing smirk playing across your lips.

"No no, well- no it's not like that. Just as friends, you know- without the ruckus of that one running around." When he says "that one" he points towards Oliver, who was currently crashing two tractors together and making a crash sound with his mouth.

"You know what? Sure Simon. I'll see you then."

He smiles, nodding softly as he runs his hands through his hair, the gelled effect must have worn off because it was back to its shaggy state, almost getting to the point it reached his eyes. He needed a haircut, but it's not like you didn't like the shaggy look. It was unexpectedly sexy.

Maybe it was just your hormones talking but everything about this man was unexpectedly sexy. His tired eyes from sleepless nights and early mornings, his tatted arms, a few of the tattoos colored in with what seemed like marker from Oliver, and his tall frame, almost towering over you to the point you had to look up to see his face.

You did suggest that he should get laid, but maybe you're the one who really needed the action. It's been who knows how long, and your getting so desperate that you literally can't look at him without butterflies fluttering in your stomach as well as..further south.

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After sending Simon and his son home, you immediately ran to your bedroom, quickly stripping out of your clothes and hopping into the warm water of your shower. With your back to the water and your hands in your hair, you can't help but let your mind wander back to your neighbor.

What was he doing right now? Was he helping Oliver brush his teeth? Was he just getting into the shower too? Was his shower water warm or cool? Did he have tattoos elsewhere? What did the soap look like running down his chest and down his legs..?

Okay, you need to go to bed. Sleep would do the trick. Right?

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Wrong. Sleep 100% didn't do the trick. Two full days of almost nothing but sleep and this man has been filling your head with thought of him, some more naughty than other. He had crawled into your dreams, your thoughts, and your daily life in general. You cant even pour creamer into your coffee without seeing his smug ass face in your mug.

It was now the weekend, around 7pm on a Saturday. The sun had already gone down and you were sitting in your living room, a random cheesy rom com on the television as you scrolled on your phone. You scrolled through your feed, seeing videos of your college friends out partying, drinking, and having fun. Then there was you, sitting at home with day old mascara on your lashes and sleep evident on your face.

There was a heavy knock on your door, with a raised brow you hop up from your couch and make your way over to the door, peaking through the peep hole to see who it was. And to your surprise, it was exactly who you were thinking of.

There Simon stood, a bottle of champagne and a single red rose in his hands as he bounces on his heels, he was back to his regular shaggy look, unkempt hair, white t-shirt, blue jeans, and his silver dog tag hanging from his neck.

Quickly, you open the door with a smile and invite the man in. As he walks in towards your kitchen counter you quickly become aware of your appearance. Old makeup on your face, and crinkled clothes that you couldn't be bothered to iron.

However, at this point the two of you have seen each other at your worst, hell you've seen Simon running off of two hours of sleep with a sick little Oliver who wouldn't stop crying and coughing.

"Champagne and a rose? This feels like a date to me.." You tease running a hand across his shoulder as you pass him, earning a shiver from the man. you stand on the opposite side of the kitchen island as he takes a seat on one of the barstool chairs you have, sliding the bottle towards you.

"Take it however you want love." He laughs, running his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face, his bicep flexing in the process, and holy fuck.

You shake your head and pop open the bottle of champagne. "I'm glad I know you and Oliver, he's a good kid."

"You're such a big help with the little guy, I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. He loves you a lot." Simon is more soft spoken than usual as he twirls the rose between his fingertips.

You're frantically searching your cabinets for those champagne glasses you got all those years ago but have never used. You swear you still had them.

"It's no biggy. He's a joy to have around and probably one of my only friends!" You laugh, sighing after you cant find those dumbass champagne glasses and grabbing two mugs out of the cabinet instead. Not quite what you'd normally drink something like champagne out of, but it would have to work.

"So I'm not considered a friend? I see how it is," Simon fakes a hurt expression as he takes a mug from you with a raised brow. His shoulders shake in silent laughter after he looks at the mug to which it read "Male Tears" in big black lettering.

You laugh along with him, "Eh, I kinda like your son more than you, he's less broody," You tease, pouring the champagne into each of your mugs. Your mug saying "Reading is Sexy" with blue lettering.

There the two of you sat, at your kitchen island drinking cheap champagne out of coffee mugs with a single red rose placed between the two of you.

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After a few hours and an entire bottle of champagne, the two of you sat on your couch together, a movie on your tv.

You sat with your legs draped across Simons lap, his hand resting on your knee as his fingers gently rubbed circles into your skin. It tickled, but in a good way.

You fought sleep, your eyelids slowly shutting and reopening. Your breath was calm and slow, a comfortable silence had fallen between the two of you.

"Gettin' sleepy love?" Simon asks with a chuckle, his deep blue eyes lingering on you as he rubs up and down the length of your leg.

You don't bother answering verbally, you don't have the energy. You shake your head in a quiet and small 'no', your hand coming up to rub your eyes. What time was it? It couldn't be that late.

With a groan, you sit up and grab your phone off of the coffee table, tapping your screen a few times for it to turn on. Your screen nearly blinds you, a curse falling from you lips as Simon merely chuckles next to you. 11:57. Almost midnight already? You thought, there's no way.

Simon peaks over your shoulder and shakes his head, running his hands over his face with a yawn. "Surely I haven't been here all that long, it's definitely past our bedtimes," he teases as he moves your legs off of his, standing from the couch with a stretch, his shirt lifting, showing off a fucking happy trail. This man was too hot for his own good. It had to be a crime at this point.

You stand next to him, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you yawn, making your way lazily towards the direction of your bedroom.

"I better get ta' goin'-" Simon begins, before you cut him off.

"Oh please, theres no way in hell you came over here just to hang out as friends, Simon." Your voice is low as you stand before him, your bodies mere inches apart as you stare up at him. Messy hair, sleepy eyes, and those god damn dimples shining through as he smirks down at you. You fuckin' knew it.

His arms wrap around your waist, his face nearing yours as he walks you backwards into your kitchen, your hips hitting the kitchen island. "I've been caught."

His breath smelling of cheap champagne and cigarettes as his lips grazed yours. His lips are soft as he finally kisses you, fitting perfectly against yours.

Simons hands remove themselves from your waist, landing on the kitchen island, trapping you between him and the counter. You deepen the kiss, standing on your tippy toes to match his force, earning an audible groan from the blonde man in front of you.

When the kiss ends, nothing but heavy panting and quiet curses fill the air. "Fuckin' hell love.." he whispers against your neck, his lips leaving a trail of kisses up and down your warm skin.

Quiet whimpers leave your lips as his lips work their way up to your ear, where he whispers a phrase that makes your knees want to buckle. "Get on the fuckin' counter doll, I've waited far to long for this and my tongue is tingling for your taste.."

Obviously, you do as he says, hopping up onto the cool granite. "Atta girl," he says, his voice raspy as he tugs the waistband of your pants down, pulling them off your legs as if he's been craving you for years. Maybe he has been..

In a swift motion he pushed you onto your back, earning a quiet yelp from you as your back touched the cold surface. With his eyes glued on your panties and his hands on your plush thighs you can't help but whimper, letting your head fall back onto the counter top.

"Fuckin hell lovie, you're already so wet..." Simon says through gritted teeth, the pad of this thumb rubbing slow circles against your clit, the feeling of the pressure over the fabric of your panties was enough for you to clench around nothing.

"Simon please-" you whimper, your hips rolling against his touch, eager for more. This draws a chuckle from the man in front of you, he pulls his hand away with a smug smirk on his lips.

Not another word is shared between the two of you before Simon is kneeled on the tile flooring and he has your legs over his shoulders, his face at perfect height with your core. He pulls your panties to the side, groaning at the sight before him. He was so fucking hard right now, straining against the zipper of his pants.

He blows a cool puff of air against your cunt, watching as it flutters before it, his smirk never falters as he runs his thumb over your cunt, coving his finger in your juices.

"Riley I swear to the gods, if you don't stop playing with your food-" you begin, getting cut off with his tongue against your slit and his thumb rubbing circles against your sensitive bundle of nerves. His tongue works in and out of you, flicking and sucking, the noises that fill the kitchen are positively hypnotic. Your whimpers and moans mixed with the wet noises of Simons tongue between your legs. And to top it off, every time you buck your hips against his face he moans, a low growl like noise that makes you absolutely drip.

Simon is only using one hand to hold open your legs, his right hand has traveled down to his pants, unzipping his jeans and finally giving himself that oh so needed friction that he's been deprived of. His tongue goes flat against your cunt, his head shaking side to side, flicking his tongue every so often, just enough to catch the tip of your clit.

He palms himself through his boxers, rutting into the palm of his hand. "You like that baby? You're gettin' louder.." he teases as he sucks on your clit, causing your back to arch off of the counter top and your hands to fly to his hair, tugging on the blonde strands, pressing his face into your greedy little cunt even more.

"Simon! Right fucking there, please please please..." You moan, your thighs threatening to close around his head as your legs shake with pleasure. Your breath is quick and your moans are loud as Simon god damn Riley holds your legs open, sucking and licking your clit, you were about to fall apart right then and there, but after he shoves two fingers into your cunt you absolutely crumble.

The orgasm rushes throughout your body, your grip on his hair tight. He doesn't stop though, his tongue stays glued to your clit, his fingers moving at a pace that makes your writhe, drawing out this heavenly orgasm as long as he can.

You're already fucked out as he pulls his fingers out of you, kissing your fluttering cunt, kissing up your torso and tugging your shirt over your head to kiss all the way up your lips. This kiss was everything passionate, the taste of you still lingering on his lips.

Your eyelids are heavy and your chest rises with a quick pace, still trying to come down from your high. Sweat glitters your skin, your panties hanging from your ankle and your mascara running down your cheeks. "So beautiful, so fucking gorgeous baby.." Simon whispers as he kissed you on the forehead, running his hands over your cheeks. "But we're not done yet, no no no, this night isn't over until I fill you up so full that Oliver will have a fucking sibling by tomorrow.." His voice is deep and sultry, pulling you up off the counter by your wrists and tossing you over his shoulder like a damn sack of potatoes.

With a yelp from you, Simon gives a little smacks to your ass. His quick strides make it to your bedroom in no time at all. He tossed you on the bed, you landing on your back, your toes bouncing along with the mattress, earning a low curse from the man in front of you. He stands at the end of your bed, quickly pulling his pants and boxers off of himself. He can't go another fucking second without being inside of you.

The image of this man crawling on top of you, his ink covered arms on either side of your head and your legs on either side of your hips as he pressed against you. It was all so much, your cunt was dripping, and from what you could see so was the tip of his cock.

Holy shit his cock, it was huge, veins running up and down the length of it. You figured he was from the start, but now that it's in front of you, how the hell will it all fit?

His hands reach for your thighs, pushing them up so your knees neared your ears, the tip of his cock teases the entrance of your cunt, the bead of pre-cum smearing all over your clit. You wiggle your hips, eager for something, anything but this fucking torturous teasing that this man seems so obsessed with.

"Simon.." You moan, earning a groan from the man. His eyes have not left you this entire time, his gaze wandering up and down your figure with a look of biting desire.

"Moaning my name like that..fuck," He groans through gritted teeth, pressing the tip of his cock inside, fucking finally.

You suck in a breath through your teeth, biting down on your bottom lip as you grip the sheets.

Simons eyes shut with pleasure as he pushes into you. Only to open once again to watch your face, watching for any looks of displeasure, he makes it about half way when your eyebrows furrow and your hand flies to his torso, pressing against his abdomen as a way to tell him to stop for a second.

"It's okay lovie, breath, you're taking me so well.." He whispers, leaning down to kiss your cheek, kissing away a single stray tear that had seemingly rolled down your cheek. Slowly, he continues to push into you, the two of you share a mutual moan as he finally bottoms out, his stomach pressed flush against your clit.

"Good girl, my good girl baby, yes.." He moans, his hands under your knees as he holds one leg over his shoulder and the other off the the side.

Your whimpers, his groans, and the smell of sex fills the bedroom. You rock your hips, indicating the need for friction. With pleasure, Simon gives you what you needs, rolling his hips and pulling out about half way before slamming back inside you. Your loud moans and pleases for more, more, more fill the room, causing Simon to let out a guttural groan, hai cock twitching inside of you.

Simon shifted his hips, dragging his cock out of you. It glistened with your arousal, and it made his face grow hot. He bit back a whimper when he pushed inside you once more. You gasped, and he did it again. Again and again until he had a set a rhythm that had your entire body on fire, writhing against the mattress.

"Yes yes, fuck Simon, makin' m' feel so good, I-" You whimper, your legs shaking and your eyes squeezed shut out of pure pleasure.

Simon had reached a hand down and was now rubbing circles on your clit. Your words had his brain swimming, his thrusts deepening and pace quickening. The tight ball of pleasure was drawing tighter and tighter in the base of your tummy, your cunt fluttering around his cock.

"Fuck baby, you feel so good..wanna put a fuckin baby in you lovie..." His voice is low, his groans turning into whimpers as his thrusts become sloppy, he's nearing his own climax. Your own peak is nearing, your cunt fluttering around his cock, clenching and squeezing as he moves at a pace that is absolutely intoxicating.

"Come for me, baby," he whispered. "Come on my cock. That's it, baby, yeah– good fuckin' girl."

His finger moves quickly against your clit, rubbing as his cock bullies in and out of your greedy little cunt. The force of his thrusts make your tits bounce, earning deep and needy groans from the back of Simons throat.

You came around his cock with a sob of his name, your cunt squeezing him tight as the ball of pressure snapped in your tummy. Your orgasm was hard, slamming over you and rendering you breathless, your head floating. Your clit pulsed beneath the movements of his fingers.

The tightness of your cunt earned a fucked out moan from Simon as he slams in and out of you, reaching even deeper than before. You wanted to scream. He was so deep. You were so full.

"Such a good girl, suck a greedy little cunt— so tight I don't think I'll be able to pull out-, yes baby.." He blabbered helplessly as he becomes utterly pussydrunk, his head lolling back and his eyes closing with pleasure.

"M'gonna come in this tight cunt," Si whispered, almost too quiet for you to hear. He spoke louder when he continued his sentence. "You want my cum, baby? You want me to come inside you? Want me to fill you up, fill this pretty tummy?"

"Yes! Please—!" You practically scream.

"I will— I'll fill you up with all of my fuckin' cum.." He moans, his thrusts sloppy and his grip on your thighs bruising. "Take it all like a good girl," he moaned. "Get you–fuck —get you pregnant. Fill you up with my kids. I'd look after you, baby."

You were basically screaming.

And with that Simon cums, your name falling from his lips as the white hot liquid spills from his cock into you. He doesn't pull out, tugging you up so that you straddled his hips, his hands on your as as he holds you up, him leaning back against the heels of his feet. The two of you share a tender kiss, his lips softly kissing your lips, cheeks, and neck.

"Fuckin' hell love.." He laughs, his voice raspy. He finally pulls out, a deep groan slipping from his lips as he watches his cum drip out of that sweet little cunt. Carefully, he lays you back down on the mattress, staring down at you with low eyes and a small smile on his lips.

"You were so good just now, you know that? So beautiful, so fuckin' hot-" He moves so he's laid beside you, his chest pressed against your back as he rubs small circles on your hip with his finger. "-I loved your moans, and the feeling of your pussy..just stay like this with me for a second, yeah?" His hand runs up and down your side, the two of you falling into a comfortable silence as his breath tickles the back of your neck.

What an odd feeling. It all felt as if everything had always been like this. As if the two of you were meant to be, and this was all just natural.

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Simon and You sit in your living room together, his hand on your thigh and Oliver running back and forth with a superman action figure in hand making a 'swooshhh' sound with his mouth.

The promise ring on your finger sparkles as you look down at it, you can't take your eyes off the damn thing. It's been a week since he's given it to you, but every time you eye catches the little piece of jewelry you can't help but stare.

Three years of crushing and helping him raise his kid. One night of his name being moaned and orgasm after orgasm. Two weeks form that night he asked you out. It's been four months since he asked you to be his girlfriend. Everything seemed to be moving so quickly. But not, at the same time. It feels like you've know each other forever so it was natural. Nothing odd about falling in love so quickly.

Or maybe the love has always been there, it was the commitment and the confessions and the confusing mixed signals that were messing with the process.

But in the end everything had fallen in place. Simon still lives next door, but that is gonna change soon. He spends more and more time over at your place than his own. Both his and Oliver's clothes litter your laundry, and instead of one lonely toothbrush in the bathroom, there's now three.

Pink, Blue, and a tiny red one for Oliver.

This was how it was meant to be. Simon, Oliver, and you. And possibly another one. Simon is pretty eager for that addition. Now that was a little fast even for you.

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a/n: not to singledad!simon anymore. <33

p.s.- i tagged everyone who i saw asked to be, sorry if i missed ya! and thank you all so so much for all the love. i love all of ya so so much! <33

[astralcentralstation]

Worldbuilding H/C: Soulmates

So this will be just be the general head-canons about how the different cultures in HSR would be structures in a soulmate AU (alias how soulmates influenced laws and cultures), and how the playable characters view them. I will later add a image for each character. When we are induced to new cultures in the game i might add a part 2 to this.

Soulmates are general confirmed and accepted, nobody is really denying that they exist. But depending on who your soulmate is you might find stark differences in how they will view you and what is expected of you. For given that soulmates are confirmed for centuries, this knowledge shaped societies -some in culture, some even in law. Each planet has they own way of doing this.

Overall it is believed that the soulmate marks where blessing send out by the Aeons, a gift that all of them send out in junction. These soulmates have three parts; The first is Sign -a physical mark on the body -each match have a tattoo that both of them have since birth, absolute matching one-another in shape and placement. Second is Recognition -there is a instinctive bond between soulmates to protect and trust. Not enough to control once actions, but enough to sway the undecided. Hereby it doesn't matter if they even know their soulmate is involved -if for example a ship is in danger, and a soulmate has a match on that ship without knowing or any indications, the soulmate will lean towards protecting the ship. The last is different for each race; Protection will give what a match needs to stay together. If one soulmate ages slower than the other, their match will age normally till they reach the physical age of their soulmate, then have their aging slow down to the same space. If a soulmates race has a special ability like breathing under water or immunity to fire, then that will carry over.

In Belebog soulmates rarely found each other, what with the Eternal Freeze and later even with the ban between Under- and Overworld. Therefore people will be pretty open to marry somebody who is not their soulmate. That is if you haven't meet or have already lost their soulmate. If someone were to pursue someone else while their match is right next to them it would still turn some confused heads. But it isn't unheard of. Still, finding your match is considered special. The Landau Siblings, Gepard and Serval are a bit out the norm, wanting to wait for their soulmates. They haven't mentioned it to their parents, neither wanting to deal with the backlash and pressure to continue the family line -in fact they haven't even told each other. As for Bronya a romantic partner had not even been on the table till her soulmate shows up. From there on she feels lost, she doesn't want to let go of this possibility, but she also have no idea what to do with a soulmate. Others who would be blindsided by a match showing up where Natasha and Seele. Nat doesn't think she deserves a soulmate, her match has to convince her to give them a chance. Seele meanwhile had regarded finding a match as a fairy tale scenario, highly unlikely -even if she claimed to wait for them to stop her admirers. It was only a line, you know. Sampo is open-minded to finding a soulmate, but isn't searching or waiting. Pela used to believe she would find her soulmate and was ready to fight for that. Then she was sent to the frontlines of the Eternal Freeze and decided to give up and focus on reality.

(Characters: Gepard Serval Bronya Natasha Seele Sampo)

People of the Xianzhou Alliance are the complete opposite. They believe that matches are scared and married from birth. It is not only outlawed, but unthinkable to be with anyone outside the Bond. Soulmates are often refers to as Kindreds. Found matches will usually move together that very same day. Exceptions are made for kids, in which case they will have constantly alternating sleepovers. Xianzhou and Foxians share they longevity with they matches, while Vidyadhara share they reincarnation-cycle ability. One would think that make it easier to find their match, and really each ship has they citizens register their Signs and there is open communications to help everyone find their spouse. But there is also a danger in that; matches are thought to be one of mind. Which means if a crime is committed, both soulmates receive the sentence. So if your aging acts up be careful, you don't know what your soulmate was up to. 'You didn't know' will not hold in front of their laws. However if you are the soulmate of Jing Yuan, Fu Xuan or Yukong, it's up to school with you. As their Kindred you are considered their second in command and must learn their people's law and train in combat. Yanqing's soulmate will face similar, but as he is still in training himself, it will be more relaxed. Each of them will of course be with you every step of the way. Sushang is currently searching for you. Tingyun is content to wait for you, she collets trinkets over the years to gift you when you finally meet. Qingque has only just returned from a Search so she is currently focusing on her own life, but she has diaries about her searches she plans to gift her soulmate. Loucha is more a nomad, so he doesn't consider you his spouse yet and fully plans to woe you off your feet, but he has high regard for the soulmate traditions of the Xianzhou and might be quickly influenced by them. Just keep in mind to set boundaries early with any of them, they respect you to much to overstep even if those boundaries are things they are unfamiliar with.

(Characters: Jing Yuan Fu Xuan Yukong Yanqing Sushang Tingyun Qingque Loucha)

Space-Nomads have an interesting case where either each member of the group stays true to their home world's culture or a group has developed their own soulmate culture while traveling together. Other space nomads go with a mix of the two. But overall they experienced enough other cultures that they will have no problem adjusting to their soulmate's culture.

The Nameless mostly go by their home-world's culture, mainly since the culture that Pom-Pom says used to exist on the Express died before Himeko rediscovered said train. Still there are things they picked up from the conductor. Like calling Soulmates 'Soulcompasses' or just one's 'Compass'. Also, Pom-Pom considers each Nameless' match another guest of the Express and will cry if they don't board and travel with them. March 7 pretty much adopted his approach since she has no homeworld-culture to fall back on; in her mind a couple could take as long as they wanted to get together, as long both trailblazed together. Himeko is close to this ideal as well, but she wouldn't pressure someone into coming along. She can always visit with stories and souvenirs in tow. Her homeworld-culture teaches that no relationship is to be taken for granted, you don't own your soulmate, and sometimes they don't work out and that is okay. Welt is undecided on the tropic of soulmates, he has seen a lot. A soulmate is kind of unreal, but he won't push you away. The people of his world believe soulmates always work, but sometimes they don't work out right away. People are shaped by experiences. This means that at times matches can know each other for before they klick or even like each other. That being said he would never let anything happen to you if he could prevent it. Dan Heng has no problem connecting his heritage with the Express traditions, but from his experience traveling different worlds decides to give his 'Kindred Compass' the control on how fast the relationship goes. That said he is desperately hunting for his soulmate. Who knows what happen if they go to Loufu searching for him? He has to find them to at least warn them. The Trailblazer meanwhile, having no culture to remember, just adopts everybody's culture. Soulmates confuse them, but finding one's compass is good, yes?

(Characters Himeko Welt Yang March 7 Dan Heng Stelle Caelus)

Then you have the Stellaron Hunters. These guys are okay to play around or even marry prior to meeting their soulmate. But once they do, whatever relationship they had prior is over. No buts. Given how much they deal with the 'script', they will know when they will meet you and be ready a day or two early. They call the day of the meeting Destiny Call. Kafka confused everyone by bringing flowers to a fight the day she was to meet you. Silver Wolf thinks that is coming on too strong, but still makes sure to look her best on her Destiny Call. In contrast Blade will try to get a rise out of his soulmate the first time you meet. In his mind, his Fated One should know what they are getting into. They do take their other half a tad for granted, but that doesn't mean their aren't prepared to woe you for years to come.

(Characters: Kafka Silver Wolf Blade)

Now the crew of Herta's Space-Station all exclusively go by their home-world traditions. Except Herta herself. Herta has a pop-quiz ready that she will jump at you the moment she knows that you are her soulmate and make a plan based on your answers. Asta's world is neutral towards soulmates, but you only ever gift pearls or chocolate to a soulmate. So a relationship with her would be pretty normal. Except she won't stand for anyone giving you chocolate or you giving cholate out, not even to kids. Arlan has a plan on how to woe his soulmate -it goes flying out of the window the second he meets you. At his home planet you place your soulmate first before everything. There are laws against hurting one's soulmate, so he takes this very serious. Also, unlike some planets, Signs are thought as intimate, usually covered up. So if his soulmate were to show them off, he would be a blushing mess.

(Characters: Herta Asta Arlan)

[learnastrowallura]

🕯Mercury in Astrology

Information is from Chris Brennan's video on The Astrology Podcast YouTube channel on the topic of Mercury significations <3

Mercury: writing, speech, words, message, reign, translation, conveying, transmitting, information, interpretations, numbers, analysis, reasoning, details, dialogue, exchange, money, businesses, contracts, commerce, negotiating, indecision, disputation, questioning, doubts, distractions, speed, variety, irregularity, verstatility, changing, adaptability, flexibility, instability, inconsistency, knowledge, philosophy, service, teaching, mind, intelligence, intellect, language, communication, learning, poetry, voice acting, narration, acting, sharing, masculine, neutrality

Sun and Mercury:

Sun and Mercury are both centered around intelligence but in different ways; they complete each other. Sun is about divine knowledge and Mercury is about conveying, transmitting or communicating that knowledge or even perhaps analyzing it and extracting more wisdom as well as detail from it so I found this point particularly interesting. Sun illuminates with its rays and gives clarity by providing us with the truth and then Mercury expands on that truth and shares it with others in its charming versatile way as well

Sun vs Mercury sign:

Mercury does not move further than 28 degrees from the Sun meaning that the Mercury sign will always be the sign before or after the Sun sign (zodiacal signs are divided into 30 degrees) and so there is a bit of a differentiation (for lack of a better word) between who we are and the way we communicate and exchange information with other people if the Mercury and Sun signs are not one of the same. First example that comes to mind is having an Aries Sun Taurus Mercury and two people who are quite close to me have these placements; you would not know they were Aries Suns unless u asked hahaha even though one of them is an Aries rising too so that is something I wanted to note as well. Another example would be Sagittarius sun with Scorpio Mercury adding a lot of intensity to the person's communication style as well (which is something I relate to as you will see later on)

Domicile and exaltation:

Sooo Mercury rules over Gemini and Virgo so those are its domicile signs, it is how Mercury can manifest itself most comfortably whilst embodying its true essence. And then Mercury has its exaltation in Virgo as well which is pretty unique might I say and this gives me the vibes of (this my own way of seeing it so take it with a grain of salt) Mercury being more constructive in the sign of Virgo versus in Gemini just because of this particular distinction

But speaking of these two signs I do think they embody their Mercurial energies quite differently and shoutout to my friend @saturnianoracle for giving me the key words to describe this. First of all they are both analytic but Virgo is more of a skeptic I feel while Gemini tends to have more of an open mind. Virgo wants to see the evidence behind certain things to determine the merit or validity, to a certain extent, of the topics at hand to then decides if it wants to invest energy into looking into it more. It is very grounded as well as organized. With Gemini there is a certain sense of childlike curiosity that takes hold of this sign making it want to explore deep topics and of course stimulate its mind; it dives in without thinking and is more disorganized, inconsistent and chaotic I would say, and it loves conversing about its findings as well. I saw a tiktok video ancient astrology based describing Virgo and Gemini as the most intuitive signs which was fascinating to be honest u can watch it here

Detriment and Fall:

Mercury has its detriment in Sagittarius/Pisces and its fall in the sign of Pisces as well and the interesting thing noted in the video I watched (mentioned at the start) is that Sagittarius and Pisces are ruled by Jupiter, the biggest planet ruling over expansion and abundance, and with Mercury being on the smaller side you can really see that distinction of the Mercurial signs really often looking at the detail of things and well in contrast the Jupiter signs seeing the bigger picture. Also Jupiter being a benefic and ruling over luck makes me think that having these two placements is honestly not so bad tbh

Mercury in first house:

Mercury has its planetary joy in the first house of the self, highlighting the utmost importance of the curious, inquisitive and messenger qualities of the planet. What is interesting is the neutrality of Mercury and how we can link that with its joy being in the 1st house; a house that can be above or below the horizon, so even in this regard it stays neutral and does not "pick a side" if that makes sense; "acting as a bridge between the upper and lower hemispheres of the chart, a bridge between the celestial and terrestial realms which are united in the degree of the ascendant".

Source for the planetery joy information is Hellenistic Astrology: The Study of Fate and Fortune by Chris Brennan

I have made a more detailed post on planetary joys so check it out <3

Neutrality:

Mercury is not seen as a benefic or a malefic; it is considered a neutral planet. Of course, its manifestation and expression can be positive, negative or stay neutral depending on a few factors, such as:

Being in its domicile (Gemini/Virgo) or its exaltation (Virgo) sign is gonna lead it to manifest in a more constructive/beneficial way

Being in its detriment (Sagittarius/Pisces) or its fall (Pisces) sign would generally lead it to manifest in a less constructive way

Aspecting a benefic planet (Jupiter/Venus) would lead Mercury in this instance to manifest in a more constructive way as it is said to adopt the traits of benefic planet it is associated with

Being in a benefic ruled sign; meaning a Jupiter ruled sign as mentioned beforehand (Sagittarius Mercury, Pisces Mercury) or a Venus ruled sign (Taurus Mercury, Libra Mercury) would manifest in the same manner mentioned above

Aspecting a malefic planet (Mars/Saturn) leads Mercury to take on the traits of that malefic planet as well

Being in a malefic ruled sign so either Mars ruled (Aries Mercury, Scorpio Mercury) or Saturn ruled (Capricorn Mercury, Aquarius Mercury) leads us to Mercury adapting to that malefic's traits again

Triplicity also matters and I will make a detailed post on it soon but for now all I can say is that having Mercury in an air sign (Gemini, Aquarius, or Libra) adds on to the "power" that the Mercury placement has within the chart and the support that it gives to the native; if we are dealing with a day chart then Mercury has moderate support in the air sign in question (Saturn being its triplicity lord), and if it is a night chart then it maintains a powerful position within the chart, being its own triplicity ruler. (Source for triplicity rulership intormation is Ancient Astrology: in Theory and Practice: A manual of Traditional Techniques, Volume One: Assessing Planetary Condition by Demetra George)

That is all!! I wanted to go into more detail tbh but time simply does not allow it these days as I have my internship going on as well but I hope this was informative haha

Thank you for reading <3

Masterlist

Paid readings open

[drghostwrite]

Always You pt.2

Pairing: Larissa Weems x wife!reader

Summary: Read pt.1 for some background but basically reader and Larissa are finally married and they want a baby so the steamy shower turns into something more and they later get a very life "shifting" surprise.

********************************************************

You had packed up your things and started to head out of your office, you quickly stopped though checking your appearance in the mirror. You were teaching in one of the many atriums of the school today, it was in an older part of the school, less travled now. But the levels used to be filled with footsteps and gossip of students, now the levels were overgrown with beutiful vines that hung towards the floor the window on top still intact allowing for golden rays to seep down in and beautiful arrays of colorful flowers reached towards the sunlight. You were teaching on architecture and nature, Life Imitates Art and so this was the best spot, though it was a hike so you opted for some ripped jeans a long-sleeve henley, your curls were pulled up in a loose messy bun and your coordinating headband held the extras in perfect placement, you looked in the mirror approving and left locking your office behind you.

You felt your phone buzz in your back pocket and raised your wrist to see a text from Larissa, Hey I hope you don't mind if I come in a little later, kind of dealing with something.

You quickly replied and then decided that you would just stop by her office, you saw the large doors cracked and slipped inside hearing her voice filtering through the cracked door, when you stepped in your saw three other teachers in the room surrounding her desk and heard Larissa talking to them, before raising her voice and shooing them away with the swipe of her hand. You hated seeing her being made a spectacle like that, dealing with and being criticized for someone else wrong doing it made your heart race and blood boil, you knew she could handle herself and yet it made the gold swirl in your eyes flow stronger. She made eye contact with you and you stepped to the side, watching as the other teachers stormed out of the room in defeat.

You slowly approached her desk setting down at the corner facing her and watching as she massaged her temples, "What is it with some people?"

"What's going on baby?" you said stepping up behind her and massaging the tensed muscles.

"Some of these teachers think that we should be living in fear the old way, and towns people think we should be kept hidden, they're helping each others case while fighting for two different causes."

"I that why we were having a sacrificial coven meeting around your desk?" you chuckled, she let a side smirk slip by.

"So you saw that?"

"Mmhmm."

"Yea, some or the older teachers think that just because I'm newer that they own me and I'll do whatever they say."

"Mm, well tell them to bad. I licked it first so It's already mine." you said whispering into her ear and swiping your tongue over the pulse point of her neck.

She quickly crossed her legs and sat up a little straighter, you knew what you were doing, but you weren’t done yet. You reached up and let your hair down the gorgeous long curls falling over your shoulders, you took your headband off and ran your hands through your hair massaging your scalp, to you it was minor but Larissa loved your hair down, she loved to play with it and when in bed she loved rubbing her hands through it knowing that she’s the one that makes it a perfect mess. You let it fall around both of you and heard her intake a long breath.

“Mmm looks like someone might need a little work out later, looking a little tense there love.”

“Darling I… um….”

“Words baby words.” You said as she turned looking into your hooded eyes your signature smirk on your lips as she looked on wide eyed and gentle. She leaned up kissing you slowly rising from her chair to tower over you, you stood pretty tall for most women but next to Larissa you were shorter. She picked you up sliding you into her desk but you placed a hand on her chest breathing already heavy.

“Not here…Larissa not here.”

“But… it wouldn’t be the first time.” She smirked thinking back.

“Mmmm… I want it to be different I wanna try something new.”

“Wait like…” she gave you a questioning but excited look. You slowly shook your head yes.

“Are we going to try for a baby?”

”Why not, I told you once you out a ring on it and it’s been a year.” You met her eyes filled with excitement and the grin on her perfect red tinted lips.

“In that case.”

it wasn’t long before all her things were packed up and she was practically dragging you to the car and speeding ti get home, and your wife never sped that was your area of expertise. You made it into the door of the house and she quickly pulled you upstairs.

“Larissa hold on love I’ve been working in the old building all day and I need to shower.”

“Darling… please.” She pouted.

You gave her your look rolling your eyes and continued to the master bath, you put a little extra swag in your hips, you knew she couldn’t wait she was to excited. Did you need a shower yes, did you want to shower also yes but the intention was not to do it alone. Larissa stayed in your room warring with herself, she heard the water come on and the door softly thud closed, she waited not two minutes before deciding to join you stripping on her way to the bathroom, slowly closing the door behind her and getting in the shower.

“I knew it wouldn’t take long.”

“Mmm cause you know me so we’ll.” she said placing kisses on your shoulders and neck, she ghosts over your scars running delicate fingers over the ones on your side that ran from you me rubs down to your hip it was a sweet spot for you somewhere that you were always scared of people seeing but to her it was art and she loved reminding you.

“Well I am your wife after all.” She turned you in her arms standing over you but bending down to kiss down the front of you, placing kisses on your lips before she went to your neck and then breasts, then back up. You felt her hands traveling down your body as you explored hers, her fingers wrapped around the back of your thighs and hoisted you up pressing you against the wall.

“Indeed you are…” she smirked down ant you, “and now my beautiful wife is also going to be the mother of my children, because I’m gonna put a baby in you.”

“You sure about that?”

She let out a low laugh her eyes filled with lust, usually it was you who dominated rarely did you see this side of her but tonight was a whole different story. You were excited this was something new for both of you and it excited you to your core, you could feel yourself dripping for her, ready for whatever she was going to do to you. She leaned in close, “are you ready baby?”

You shook your head in response and that’s when you felt it the extra appendage that was never there before, pressed against your belly as she had you lifted and wrapped around her waist against the shower wall, the steam and water enveloping your bodies. You met her eyes knowing how sensitive she was, “are you sure about this?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life, Y/N I wanna get you pregnant, I wanna watch you grow and have our baby, and then raise it together and have a bunch of mini me’s running around.”

You swallowed hard, you weren’t sure you could get any wetter but you just did.

“let’s start with one.” You said kissing her lips.

“see now that I can do.” She said you could feel her sick pressing against you and felt as she too her hand guiding it into you, she gave you both time to adjust before she slowly started moving her hips. You had your head thrown back agains the shower wall her lips leaving marks along you neck and collarbones that you’d have to cover in the morning, her hands gripped onto the back of your thighs before one arms snaked around your back, she thrusted harder and faster pulling moans out of you.

“Oh God… babe, oh god I’m gonna…” you loaned as you got closer to letting loose.

“it’s okay love I’m right here, I got you.” You loaned out again feeling her twitch inside you, you knew she was close. She held you close and got faster the closer you both got.

“God Y/N I wanna put a baby in you.” With that the rubber band snapped she let out one final moan as you gasped feeling the release. Your breathing still labored she let you down, you finished showering and made your way out to the bed, you continued through the night until neither could take anymore.

———time jump———

three weeks later and you were teaching a magic class, this was on elements and how they aid in your skills whether you can control them or not, you had felt off during the day and so a colleague took your last three lectures and you went home. Larissa caught wind and was by your side as soon as the day was done.

the next morning you were still feeling off and startled Larissa by a jolt in the morning with you running to the bathroom to throw up your guts. You felt better but decided to take the day off as to not risk the students health, Larissa decided she would take a half day and come home in the afternoon. While you were lounging in your downstairs living room you got and idea, quickly running out and picking up some pregnancy tests, you took them before Larissa got home but decided to wait to look until she got there, when you heard the door open you approached her.

“Hey darling how’re you feeling?”

“Better though I did something.”

“and what might that be?”

“I took a pregnancy test.” The room was silent for a moment before she looked down at you.

“Dear god it didn’t work did it?”

“I haven’t looked, I couldn’t do it without you.”

“oh okay.” You both quickly made your way upstairs and into the bathroom, you both hesitated before looking at the tests on the counter, there jn front of you were 3 positive tests, you tuned to Larissa and she pulled you into a hug before placing kisses on your lips.

“we’re going to be moms!” She said excitedly.

“yes, yes we are.” You said tears in your eyes.

[anothercrisis]

could we possibly get some more civilians au hcs? i read through all of them and now i’m invested

Wake up! I’m alive and still brainrotting about the civvie au!

What I would like to talk about today is the way I managed to include the callsigns and ranks :)

-

During their childhood in the foster care system, Johnny and Kyle didn’t have many constants, apart from each other. Every situation was different, every home had a different set of rules. In some, they weren’t allowed to watch television, which was one of the rules they hated to discover the most. Stories were oftentimes the only times they got a break from the reality they lived in. And their abilities to read were still developing at this time, so turning to books didn’t always work.

Johnny learned to read before Gaz, who struggled then explained to Johnny that the words never stayed in the right order when he was trying to read them, so Johnny took to reading out-loud so his brother could enjoy the stories too.

They often read the same book, one that Johnny lifted from a particularly horrible man who’d had custody of them for a grand total of six hours (which was six hours too long in Johnny’s opinion, which is why he quickly evacuated Kyle and himself from the property) and that he’s kept with him ever since. It was a collection of military stories that told of brave men fighting hard battles and overcoming difficult situations. The book had been in the children’s room Johnny and Kyle had been locked in, on the small shelf stocked with similar books for the foster children to read. Johnny had impulsively shoved it into his bag before climbing out the window simply because of the way the cover made him feel brave.

Those stories allowed Johnny and Kyle to adopt the mindsets of soldiers, helped them cope and make sense of their difficult situation.

“Kyle is a soldier and I’m his Captain. ‘Tis ma job to look after ‘im and I can’t do that when this fucked system keeps separatin’ us.”

By this time, Johnny was building himself quite the reputation. The social workers started to refer to him as “Soap” because of how efficient he was at slipping himself out and then in to homes whenever he was separated from Kyle and how he never left a trail behind him to follow if he didn’t want to. Johnny accepted the nickname with pride. From then on, whenever a social worker said, with a deep sigh, that Soap was back into their hands after another failed placement, he would grin and say, “Tha’s Captain Soap to ye.”.

Shortly after, Johnny decided Kyle needed to have a nickname too; he wanted them to sound like the package deal they were and the nicknames would further connect them. So Kyle decided on “Gaz”. He didn’t want anything elaborate or goofy like “Soap”. And Johnny doesn’t know it, but Gaz is what Kyle’s little brother had called him before the accident. And then, since Johnny was the one looking after Kyle and therefore the one of higher rank, they decided Kyle was to be Sergeant Gaz.

Maybe it’s silly and stupid, maybe they don’t outgrow it as soon as they ought, but it quickly became the best and most effective way they have ever found to cope. It becomes something like a mantra, a prayer: we are soldiers, we are brave, and we will handle whatever is thrown at us with strength and courage.

A few years later, Johnny meets Simon. Simon, the boy who walks so lightly that his footsteps can’t be heard even by Johnny who long ago trained his ears to hear footsteps. Simon, the boy who starts to show up on Johnny’s doorstep unannounced, pale, and quiet, simply looking for better company. Simon, who becomes “Ghost” when Johnny accidentally points this behavior out to him.

“Nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout, Si. I happen to like the Ghost too. He’s a good listener, and ya know how I run ma mouth.”

In further attempts to comfort, Johnny decides Simon might also need the absurd bit of comfort that comes with pretending to be a soldier. Because if you can pretend you’re brave for long enough, maybe it will come true. So Soap decides Simon will be Lieutenant Ghost. (When Kyle asks why Simon has a higher rank than him, the answer is because Simon is older, has fought harder battles for longer, and because Johnny will need his skills to keep them all safe.)

Once Johnny and Kyle’s coping method has been brought to the attention of the group, they all insist on getting callsigns and ranks too. Johnny, as the captain and therefore the man in charge, comes up with both for their other two friends. Alex Keller, their next door neighbor, and Gary Sanderson, Alex’s school friend who lives a few minutes away by bicycle that immediately got adopted into the group, are both dubbed sergeants too. Johnny had secretly filed away nickname options for both boys because he was hoping for an opportunity like this. They come to the decision that Gary will be “Roach”, for the way he can be relied upon to be in the kitchen cooking or snacking and for the way he likes to sit on the tops of surfaces, and that Alex will be “Echo”, for the way he is always repeating Gary’s sentences for him because he speaks so softly that Alex, who has years of training, is usually the only one who hears him enough to decipher the words.

They take to using the nicknames pretty quickly, enjoying the bond it represents between them all. But the ranks are understood to be more of a joke until the anniversary of Kyle’s brother’s death comes around and he shuts himself up in his room. Johnny simply explains to their friends that “Sergeant Gaz is on leave for the time being,” and they easily understand that to mean Kyle is battling something and isn’t ready to share it with them. No more further explanation is needed, easy as that. So, from then on, whenever one of them is struggling with something, simple phrases like that alert the others without the pressure of having to explain if they don’t want to or aren’t sure how. It’s a code among them, a slow developing language that allows them to express themselves and their struggles to each other when they aren’t capable of using plain language.

And maybe others would think it juvenile, this coping method and way of communicating, but that doesn’t matter to them. Life has tossed them around in ways no one should have to be tossed around and these boys create a safe space for themselves in the ways they find work best for them. It just so happens that their biggest comfort comes in the shape of their military personas and one another.

[dr-futbol-blog]

Before I Sleep, Pt. 1

The episode Before I Sleep (S01E15) is a Weir-centric episode that follows the events of Sanctuary (S01E14), which is even referenced at the beginning of the episode. It also deals with the fall-out from Hot Zone (S01E13), Sheppard attempting to mend his relationship with Weir. But it also allows us glimpses at the building intimacy between Sheppard and McKay.

The theme of the episode is the passage of time and of growing older, and hence we begin it with Elizabeth Weir apparently musing on it alone on one of the balconies. Her private moment is interrupted by Sheppard:

Weir: Hey. Sheppard: There you are. Weir: I was just snatching a breath of fresh air.

I want to point out that Sheppard greets her with the words he heard Rodney say to her previously on the intercom (The Storm, S01E09), verbatim. Adopting the mannerisms and vocabulary of someone you like is not consciously done but it happens, nonetheless. He also doesn't even look at her as he walks in.

There was a reason he had sought her out:

Weir: Thought you were off exploring the city. Sheppard: About to. Picked this up on the mainland. The Athosians made it. Happy birthday. Weir: Hmm. It's beautiful. How did you find out? Sheppard: Mum's the word.

He is careful not to touch her as he hands her his gift. Like, by the placement of his hands on the top and bottom of the vessel he's making sure that no physical contact happens here. We can call that respect or whatever.

This is clearly an attempt on his part to fix the broken trust between them resulting from his undermining of her authority in Hot Zone. We never learn how Sheppard had discovered that it is her birthday. Her surprise tells us that it's not something he was supposed to know, even it we might assume that, as the highest ranking military officer, he might have access to personnel files. It does tell us that he has, once more, done something without her authorization--which might well even be his intention, here. To show her that while he does things according to his own moral compass, does things a little different, he means well. He has good intentions. He is also being charming since this is as much of an apology as Sheppard is capable of making but, comparing it to his attempt at using charm to get his way in the previous episode, it's very mild.

Sheppard is not looking at her face as she unwraps the gift, he's looking at the vessel all the way up until she speaks. He also does not look up as she says "it's beautiful", there's a noticeable pause before he looks up at her so as to make sure that neither we (as the audience) nor Weir think that it's him associating the word with her face. When you give gifts to people close to you, you usually watch their face for their reaction because it's seeing their joy that brings you pleasure. What ever his reason was for doing this, seeing her pleasure was not it.

He tells her "mum's the word," which is literally saying that she can trust him to keep her secrets if she can keep his. And given how openly, how blatantly, he behaves with regards to McKay in this episode, it seems as though he has decided to show her that he does trust her with this.

As a man, he doesn't understand what birthdays often mean to middle-aged childless professional women, and why she might have sought out some time for solitary reflection on this particular day. But she appreciates his gesture, nonetheless.

Yes, some people are going to view this in a romantic light. But emphasizing her aging is not a strategy mainstream television would take in establishing a romantic relationship between two characters -- one of whom is still in a relationship with someone on Earth, mind you. They even emphasize this with Sheppard's line "Doesn't look a day over nine thousand!" later on. Also, he takes off real quick because he clearly wanted to be somewhere else.

We cut from this scene to Sheppard doing what he was supposed to be doing: exploring the city. Sheppard's voice is on the intercom and we see McKay watching his life-sign on the screen. And this is the beginning of the motif of strange intimacy between Sheppard and McKay in this episode. It's all very suggestive but, true to form, left open for alternative interpretation.

As I've mentioned before, the audience is invited to re-interpret the episodes of the first two seasons through the lens of what we learn in The Game (S03E15), and if one is so inclined, one can simply read this developing closeness and familiarity between them as a result of their game-play. We learn in the following episode, The Brotherhood (S01E16), that McKay and Sheppard have shared a lot of personal information with each other by this time. But we can also read "the game" as an euphemism for something else that has resulted in their knowing each other very well, knowing strange details about one another, being physically comfortable in close proximity, the unending banter or back-and-forth, of the creation of this private universe between them, and of their worlds surrounding one another. They did play that game a lot, after all.

Once more, we return to Sheppard and McKay's conversation in the middle of it. With Weir, we saw the beginning, the middle, and the end of their exchange, brief as it was, all of it on screen. With Sheppard and McKay we are often coming in at the tail-end of their exchange. Sheppard is with Teyla and Ford down in the city while McKay is talking to them (and by them, I mean pretty obviously Sheppard alone) on the intercom. Apparently, their exploration of the city has been going on for a while already:

Sheppard: Alright, we're done with the living quarters. Moving on. McKay: Woah-woah-woah, before you go, you see anything better than our current quarters? Sheppard: A few. Some of them are pretty nice, actually. McKay: Well, what kind of square footage are we talking about? Sheppard: What am I, your realtor, Rodney? We're here to unlock the secrets of Atlantis. McKay: Yeah, well, I'm looking for a one-bedroom with a den, preferably with a balcony, but I'm not married to it. Look, we might as well be comfortable until the wraith get here--

So, one can interpret "our quarters" as referring to the quarters currently used by the expedition at large. One could also interpret it as "your quarters and my quarters" separately, in which case it assumes that Sheppard knows what McKay's quarters are like. That's fine. But.

Sheppard answers his inquiry with "What am I, your realtor?" as though he's not interested in looking for new quarters for (or with) McKay and is just there to do a job. Only, we find them together later looking through quarters, so this is something they are and have been doing together for some reason. But this discussion on the intercom is at least semi-public, what with McKay out in the open at the control room and Sheppard with the rest of their team, so Sheppard is clearly trying to remind McKay of this fact. He actually says "We're here to unlock the secrets of Atlantis," quoting their mission statement, to not-so-subtly remind the man that keeping up appearances is a thing that is necessary. He also emphasizes the word 'secrets' because sometimes McKay needs help getting a hint.

McKay isn't hearing it, though (although he does look to his side before he asks about the square footage as though to make sure he's not being overheard on his end, which Sheppard of course does not see). He's undaunted, prattling on about the quarters he would prefer (for them; this is literally what he says). It's possible that they've been having this conversation in another context that he's excitedly picking up since it's easy to forget one's surroundings when talking with someone familiar, just like people often forget that standers-by can hear them when they are on the phone in a public place. Also, why does he look so... turned on here?

The thing about quarters on Atlantis is that we see precious little of their private living spaces over the seasons. The quarters most often visited are Sheppard's, with his Johnny Cash poster and his comically small bed. Like, the bed is so small that it suggests the room either belonged to a Lantean child or that the Lanteans were considerably shorter than humans, which does not seem to have been the case, as we get to see the original Lanteans in this episode.

Sheppard's bed is not comfortable for him to sleep in and we are meant to get a Spartan, military vibe from it. Sheppard is a soldier, he prefers to keep his living space simple. Beds are for catching shut-eye and shut-eye only, and minimal amounts at that. Comically small.

We see McKay's quarters considerably less on the show, and the first time is in Duet (S02E04). In the episode, we also see his bed. On earth, you might think this is a single. But by Lantean standards, it's the biggest goddamn bed we ever get to see on a man on the show on Atlantis. I'll return to this with the rest of the episode later but I just want to point out this fact here, as Sheppard and McKay are having a discussion about the size of something later:

Sheppard: Too big, huh? McKay: I'm not saying it's too big, I'm just pointing out its dimensions. Sheppard: Huh. It's not that… [big]

Innuendo aside (Sheppard likes 'em big), they can only be talking about either quarters or something in them. But why would anyone care about the size of the quarters or something in them? They all seem to be living in really small spaces, cramming their human lives into Lantean frameworks, so why would Sheppard think that McKay finds some quarters too big? He owns a whole-ass house on earth, as seen in Home (S01E08). Since Lantean quarters seem to be fairly uniform in size, it's more likely that they're referring to something in the quarters they've been looking at, as quarters are plural and they used 'them' to refer to them previously.

And who thinks a bed is too big? Granted, we also learn in Home that McKay feels most comfortable sleeping on the sofa i.e., in a relatively narrow space, but it's not like they're finding any Alaskan King Size beds in the city, and even if they did -- it's just more space to roll in even if you're alone. You got a whole empty city at your perusal, you have space to live large. If Sheppard's bed is a twin, McKay's bed is only a full double. What even is the issue here?

Keeping up appearances is the issue. DADT stated that in order for someone to be investigated, they had to "demonstrate a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" and provide "credible evidence of homosexual conduct". I cannot overstate how much of an actual thing this was when the show was on air, and the USAF was one of the worst branches of the military when it came to pursuing allegations of this nature given the profusion of Southern Baptists in the leadership. Even if a non-heterosexual member of the military could be convinced that they were allowed to have feelings without having to justify them to anyone, acting on those feelings was not a simple matter. There could be no evidence of it.

If an officer cannot be found fraternizing with members of his sex, one of the ways it can be demonstrated that he does not is that his quarters are General Issue. The bed is for sleeping only and you couldn't entertain company there even if you wanted to. Investigating his quarters, you would have to conclude that he is, in the words of Johnny Cash, a solitary man. It's plausible deniability. But then. No one would care about the size of the bed of the head scientist.

It's interesting that McKay's bed is small enough to be interpreted as the bed of someone sleeping alone and yet it is big enough to fit two people that are both used to sleeping in tight quarters (one being the Spartan military type and the other likely comforted by the narrow space of the sofa). Again, just to point out its dimensions, McKay's is the biggest bed we ever see on the show on Atlantis (I'll return to the case of Heightmeyer's and Lt. Cadman's beds later). So.

We are actually reminded of McKay's ability and natural inclination for sleeping in a tight space in this same goddamn episode:

With the two of them sleeping in the same room, essentially sleeping together, in seemingly uncomfortable positions in an episode that begins with them hunting for something better than their current quarters. With reference to the title of the episode, you need a bed before you can sleep and here we're shown both of them, both of them, in want of a bed. Subtle.

Now, it's not my intention to claim that they had been living together secretly all these years. Clearly, there were long periods when they had fallen out and we even see Sheppard ban McKay from his quarters during Trinity (S02E06). But there are still hints. They give you just enough to speculate. The only time we see Sheppard asleep in his room is in The Shrine (S05E06), and this is, perhaps not coincidentally, the only time we see him in pajamas that, for a military man, are probably not common sleep wear. And also, just throwing it out there: Sheppard must have like a dozen plain black t-shirts he could sleep in so the panda shirt might actually belong to someone who is fond of novelty t-shirts and not even be his. In the episode McKay barges into his quarters, waking him up:

McKay: John! You were there, and-and then you-you-you-- Sheppard: Rodney, Rodney, I'm right here! What-what's wrong? McKay: I woke up, and [***] Sheppard: Oh, buddy. I'm sorry. I thought you'd fallen asleep. McKay: Oh… I was… I got so scared.

Sheppard had been there in McKay's quarters ("Let's get you back to your quarters") when he had fallen asleep and he had woken up in the middle of the night to find him not there anymore, which had scared him. Since McKay is losing his faculties, he's slurring enough that it's extremely difficult to make out what he actually says in [***]. Some transcripts render it "and Ronon had left" which it's definitely not. Some with "and everyone had left" which sounds a bit more like it, but not quite. It's more like "and I'm the only one--had left!" or "and I'm all alone--had left!". He's so agitated he's swallowing many of the words, his speech is jumbled. His final "had left!" seems to be a continuation of the thought that he couldn't get out right the first time regarding Sheppard: "You--you--you--". John, you were there and then you had left. I woke up and was all alone. That's certainly the sentiment Sheppard is reacting to.

He's extremely contrite, telling McKay that he left because he thought he'd fallen asleep, as though that's a reasonable explanation for him leaving (which McKay seems to accept). This could indeed be something someone (who canonically needs less sleep than the other) might be forced to do if they can't be found frequently coming out of someone else's quarters in the morning.

Tell me the dialogue doesn't sound like Sheppard had been there with McKay when he had gone to bed. Sure, it could be a one-off, looking over a friend in need as he's basically dying, but McKay's reaction very much speaks against this. McKay is losing his memory and it's only the most ingrained, most important things that are left to him. They're also both wearing pajamas, which is something you might insist on when someone you love is regressing basically to a childlike state (and further, there's a medical professional in charge of his care that has suddenly taken a special interest in him while McKay had, by this time or shortly thereafter, very definitely even forgotten what her name was).

What we learn from this scene is that Sheppard doesn't usually sleep in his quarters wearing pajamas. Finding him not there with him was something so unexpected that it frightened McKay. He's losing his memory, he's losing his faculties, but he's also falling into a state of raw honesty. He needs John Sheppard there, with him, in his quarters that are his alone in name only and are actually shared by them, and he needs him to be there when he falls asleep and he also wants him there when he wakes up--even if that was something that ordinarily rarely happened.

There's also a whole thing in Doppelganger (S04E04) where Sheppard is sitting on his tiny bed unable to relax and then heads out of his quarters with purpose, runs into Teyla as he opens the door and then claims he had just been meaning to go find her as he was supposed to be sequestered and not leaving his quarters. He gives her a comforting hug, for just having lost--let's say--a friend, very obviously touching her bare skin, with Teyla currently hosting 'the entity'. And then, in the next scene, we find out that the entity that jumps via physical contact from person to person is not in Sheppard, as we were meant to suspect, but is suddenly and inexplicably in McKay.

There are... a few steps there that were obviously skipped but we can fill in the gaps with Sheppard, not in his tiny bed, touching the bare skin of the next host who apparently thinks that Sheppard frequently has nightmares about hot girls like it's a conversation they've had several times before. But anyway, we'll circle back to that later. Point is, over the years, we learn that they both know way too much about how the other person sleeps ("Only when he's awake" = Not when he's sleeping). But, as stated previously, you can attribute it all to 'the game'.* Or whatever. They're just good friends who are concerned about the other's sleep.

It's also interesting that McKay mentions the word marriage here. Obviously, he's not talking about literal marriage, using it as a turn of phrase. But his choice of vocabulary is not insignificant, given the domesticity in this episode. It speaks of subconscious desires (to marry someone in general, if you wish). But I will also point out that Canada was very much in the process of recognizing marriage equality when this episode originally aired, several provinces introducing it during the first season. This was the hot potato issue of the day. Anyway, as McKay is hunting for a bigger bedroom with his buddy boy pal, marriage is literally what he had on his mind.

But alas, their search is temporarily halted as Atlantis has to do what Atlantis does best. Ford stumbles onto something weird.

Continued in Pt. 2

-* But if you twisted my arm, it's between The Defiant One and Hot Zone that they first 'hooked up', to coin a phrase from the show. By this time, they've been there for months with slim hopes of ever getting back to Earth and have all run out of distractions. Which just makes Sanctuary that much more tragic, as they hadn't just been sleeping together but, as we learn in the following episode, had by this time been sharing intimate details about each other's lives.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Tumblr, WIBTA if I confronted my supervisor about a volunteer doing my job?

I (18 NB) work at a library in a temporary location while the library I am in charge of, a sister branch, goes through major construction due to neglect over the years. During this process, I've worked with my coworkers to box all the books and bring them back to "HQ". Recently we've begun a process called weeding, in which reference librarians comb through books and decide which ones to discard.

My job was to dig through the boxes (over 100 of them) and grab ones that match a specific description of what we're tackling and place them onto a cart. I prefer doing this because I have a knack for remembering placements and titles of books I've personally handled, and I like to be informed of the books I am supposed to have in my location, even in the process. I also just like working on my own and rummaging around (it's fun). I also get requests from other librarians of what they may be looking for and what they need, so I ensure that in the next round that can be applicable. This might seem like I'm asking for too much control over something so trivial, but it's important to me and my work to be fully aware of what's happening. In this job there are many instances in which, due to many factors, I've been sold short and left confused because I'm not taught nearly enough to run a library on my own in their system. Initially I was supposed to be given only 3 days worth of training, which is not nearly enough (in my opinion).

Regardless, I recently got word that a new volunteer that works a different schedule than me did this carting process and started to proceed through a different section that screwed up my plans (both in with the boxes and in what a librarian had requested). I understand that this volunteer wanted to learn more about the library and was told to do so by my supervisor, but it's super disheartening to hear the process had been intervened and messed with. From what I understand, this is outside of what specifically this volunteer is looking at (databases) and I don't see how an early stage of this process was meant to help. I could understand later on, with the reference librarians, how this could be a useful teaching opportunity when weeding comes into play. There were also many questions surrounding the purpose and job of the volunteer, but I don't know of any answers, so I can't give more.

Overall I feel very unnerved and I wish to confront my supervisor, or at least express how I feel, but would I be an asshole for doing so? I worry that I'm overstepping my position. Despite being in charge of a sister location, a lot of my work has been on par with students with a little variety in technical and creative tasks in my current location. I feel that a lot of what I strive to do is undermined with the knowledge that I will be "on my own" come when construction ends, so to grit and bear what little to do until then. Would I be an asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[sneakyboymerlin]

Gwaine does not seem to like magic much in the later seasons and happily hunts down sorcerers (dragoon, the guy from 5x05, finna) Thoughts on that?

I’ve answered similar questions before! Unfortunately, Tumblr’s search function doesn’t like me, or I’d link to my older analyses 😔

As early as 3x04 (Gwaine’s introductory episode!), Gwaine is implied to have some bias against magic. Not as severe as Arthur’s, but any bias can be dangerous. When Merlin goes to Gaius and Gwaine about the Stulorne blades, this is the reaction he gets:

Gwaine: I've seen those blades in action. They're forged using sorcery.

There’s quite a bit of emphasis on the word “sorcery” here, both in Gwaine’s speech and in the overall use/placement of it. The fact that the blades are forged using sorcery tells our protagonists why they’re capable of deceiving people’s eyes, but it does not in itself imply danger unless you see magic as a danger.

Later, in 3x08, Gwaine remarks on magic with a similar attitude:

Gwaine: Wyverns. Distant cousins of the dragon. They're creatures of magic, so be careful.

Again, Gwaine expresses their capacity for harm by bringing attention to their magical origins. But the worst is in 3x12, when Gwaine does nothing to stop Arthur from holding his sword against the throat of a child simply because he’s a Druid. Rather, Gwaine pulls his sword on the rest of the Druids when they come out to save the boy. It’s Merlin who has to tell Arthur to let him go. So, Gwaine not only sees magic as dangerous, but he believes that magic and innocence (not as in guilt, but as in youth and vulnerability) are mutually exclusive. He dangerously adultifies a kid who’s <10yo.

Thrice, in the introductory era of the character, pretty solidly confirms his perspective. However, Gwaine doesn’t seem to approach magic as an innate evil the way Arthur does. He more or less ignores Grettir, despite his flagrant use of magic to turn Gwaine’s sword into flowers. In season 5, he sees clearly that the Diamair is a creature of magic, but leaves with an understanding that he owes it his life.

Gwaine’s philosophy is openly stated in 3x04: “Nobility is defined by what you do, not by who you are.” If he’s to be true to this logic, then he has to accept that one’s actions/beliefs determine one’s character, rather than their birth circumstances. He has to apply this to magical people and creatures. And he seems to, in relation to Grettir and the Diamair.

Perhaps not so much to those who he believes “chose” magic, for what he may assume is to the end of greed and power—some of the very traits he hates nobles for. However, there is only one instance to go off of, and it takes place in 5x05, where Gwaine’s like, 2 lines are the one that implies this, and the one telling someone to respect Arthur because he’s a king (even though Gwaine only respects Arthur despite that fact), so I’m inclined to ignore it.

As far as Dragoon goes, Gwaine seems to be under the impression that assassinating Uther would be evil, even though he has no motive for this. Uther had him banished and even threatened to cut his tongue out. I suppose he might just think that killing = evil, but considering how he’s employed to do just that—and it’s what he threatens Dragoon with—it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Perhaps because he sees sorcerers as a danger, he doesn’t disapprove of the magic ban, and therefore finds Uther’s death to be unjust?

They never really offer an explanation. I think the safest bet is that Gwaine assumes this means that Dragoon would want Arthur—who still holds the ban on magic in place—dead also. “Dragoon” actually plays into this idea.

It would be the same reason for the Finna situation. Arthur has already decided that she’s a threat, and Gwaine is receiving this information through his word alone. Gwaine’s exact quote is: “There’s a dangerous sorcerer at large,” who he wants to protect Merlin from. (It would be a very different story if Gwaine knew that Merlin was her accomplice—or rather, she is Merlin’s accomplice, heehee.)

So, while Gwaine doesn’t “happily” hunt down sorcerers—seriously, more like—he does show a bias against magic, believing it to be dangerous. However, he is also shown to overlook this bias from time to time, and I think it’s safe to say that he would have been able to make a repeat for Merlin if it came to it.

[queentheweeb]

Izuku Midoriya X Quirkless Autistic Male Reader

A/N: It's sort of like one big flashback

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You always admired Izuku. The two of you bonded over being quirkless and the two of you would try to protect each other from bullies such as other students, teachers, and other adults. You didn't understand why everyone was always so mean. The two of you were best friends even though Izuku was always trying to be Katsuki's friend. You didn't like Katsuki because he told you and Izuku to die by jumping off the roof. What if the two of you did? You almost did but, Izuku stopped you and took you home to his mom Inko. You really loved Inko, she was a gentle soul and Izuku made you promise not to tell her anything that Katsuki did. You didn't tell your mother either not wanting to worry her any more than she already has been. She worried because you were not only quirkless but, you were autistic so you were in different programs with other children like you. You had met Izuku before when you were little and played together from the ages of 4 to 7 until you moved schools due to the programs your mom put you in. However, in middle school, since your program was at Aldera high school and you had two classes with everyone else you met Izuku again. He had remembered you and that was how the two of you bonded. Then that's when it came to applying to high schools and for some God-forsaken reason, Izuku convinced you to apply to the general studies. 

"Come on Y/N! It would be perfect for you. Look I'm applying for general studies too. I know the two of us can get in and we can be together!" You still had, had doubts but his smile and laughter were contagious so you did it. The two of you submitted it and to your utter shock of you, you both got in! Katsuki wasn't happy about that and had blown up cussing us out while the other students laughed and the teachers did nothing. It was embarrassing but, you were happy that you were going to be with Izuku. About two months later you noticed changes in Izuku so you decided to follow him on a day he was in a hurry. He didn't know and that's when you saw him at the beach with All Might. Of course, you went up to both of them scaring them both. It took a while but, they both explained to you everything about All for One and how Izuku was training so he can be able to withstand All Might's passed-down power. It was so cool. You promised to never tell anyone not even your mother and you told her everything.

"You have my word Izuku, I wish you would have told me but I understand that, that this is important and could cause a lot of problems if it gets out to the wrong people." All Might had agreed to let you come so that was also how you and Izuku got closer together. That's how you noticed that whenever you were around Izuku you got weird feelings in your tummy. It didn't hurt, it just made you happy. and nervous at the same time. You understood what was happening but, you googled it just to be sure even though you already knew the answer. You had a crush on Izuku but, that made you pause. Would he even want to be with you? Would he become like Katsuki and begin to bully you once he got the quirk? That was a crazy thought that you got rid of quickly because he knew how it was to be quirkless, considered the bottom of the totem pole. You stood quiet though about this crush of yours choosing to watch him, talk with him, and get him cute little gifts. You asked your mom for advice and she was excited to help you out. You had done everything right up until the day of the placement exam. It was 5 AM and Izuku had eaten All Might's hair which was unexpected. You had waited for All Might to leave to try to make a move.

 "Um, I'm not good at feelings and I'm sorry if I am doing too much or making you uncomfortable but, um, you are going to do great today." You paused to take a breath and gather your thoughts "I know you are going to get into the hero course. You deserve it and um." You decided it was too many words and so you closed your eyes and leaned in to kiss his cheek. You kept your eyes closed through the silence. You weren't sure what you were supposed to do now. Is he going to hit you? Is he going to stop being your friend? Did you mess up?

"Open your eyes Y/N." His voice was gentle so you opened your eyes slowly only to open them wide at the big smile he had on his face. This means you didn't mess up then. You were right. "Can I kiss your cheek?" You stood there stunned but, nodded your head with a smile. You stood still as he leaned in and planted a soft kiss on your cheek. "Thank you." You were confused as to why he was thanking you.

"Why are you thanking me?" You should thank him for not getting upset and liking what you did.

"For choosing me. For allowing me to be close to you." Of course, you guys were close but, you wanted to be his boyfriend. You should ask him if he's okay with that. 

"Is it okay if we can be boyfriends? I don't want to share." He smiled at that pulling you in for a hug. It was awkward at first but, you wrapped your arms around him once he rubbed your back. He smelled like sweat and pine. 

"Of course, we can be boyfriends, I don't want to share you either." You smiled big at that starting to giggle. He joined in giggling with you as the two of you kept smiling and hugging. Soon you pulled away remembering that he had a placement exam to take. 

"I can wait for you outside of U.A, I'll walk around until it is time for you to come out." Izuku smiled and nodded at that. 

"I won't keep you waiting." You smiled at that and decided to kiss him another time on the cheek. You weren't sure what was going to happen in the future but, right now he was your happy place.

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Thoughts?

[imthepunchlord]

So going off what you said in your last ask, does this mean that you're going with your new version of the miracle box for the rewrite?

I've decided yes.

For doing a rewrite, you need to draw a line between how much to change and how much you keep. Change too much and it doesn't work off the source material and might as well be it's own thing; change too little, well, it's not much of a rewrite now is it? It's just a slightly different version of canon which is not as fun or engaging, at least for me. I expect a rewrite to make the necessary changes while working off what is there.

And for the new box, that meets the line between what to change and what to keep.

Debatable how good choice of a choice it was, it is in the show's canon that the Miraculous are tied to China and works off Taoism. That is a fact of Miraculous that is hard to change for a rewrite, same for the fact that it will require a Ladybug-Cat duo vs villainous Butterfly as the initial leading focus (though I think you can be a little flexible on who has what as there's a lot of reasonable possibilities to explore, be it working off the canon assignment, to doing kwami swap between leads, to doing Marinette working off Felix instead given that he was a prior lead, to having Alya be the Ladybug as she does get to use the earrings later and almost did have them; to even setting it up that Gabriel may not be HM as by how s1 set it up, it was up in the air on whether he was HM or not, which is why it was a big debate back in the day).

And that's the nice challenge of doing a rewrite, you do have to work off the original but you also need to bring something new to the table, something different/refreshing.

So for the box, it just makes the most sense that these are from China, and this is what they're based on. And all of these themes have been around since concept to becoming canon in some shape or form.

Like, Bagua was the older set up for Miraculous that encircled Yin-Yang.

And not only did some of these come back for the Zodiac, the Bagua concept did come back in the form of the Prodigious.

It just makes sense to incorporate it and have it also tied to the Miracle Box as it is apart of Taoism and has been around as a concept for a while.

Additionally, those who don't follow me on Tumblr, if they find my fic and read it, they're going to go in expecting it to work off canon with some changes. Doing a drastically changed up box and Miraculous lore is possibly going to throw them off. So as a writer of a rewrite, it is better to work off canon a bit closer, as they're going to expect LB and Cat to be yin-yang duo, and they're going to expect the Zodiac. It's easier to add in that the Bagua are apart of this Miraculous box than hey, Miraculous are no longer Chinese exclusive, here's a different Zodiac not based on anything, the Chinese Zodiac is now scattered about, there is no yin-yang duo, ect..

It's also a plus that by how I set it up, it does solve my issue of Ladybug and Cat as the yin-yang duo and the Five not having a clear placement in role, and with all 7 seemingly intermingled but there's no clear reason on why; it keeps LB and Cat as yin-yang and wish granting duo, but so far Fox/Peafowl and Bee/Butterfly, they just cycle by lunar year, and Turtle/Serpent are used to undo wishes.

I don't think that's too drastic a set up, offers a safeguard against wish making, and offers why the 7 are so tightly grouped together. And Fox and Peafowl as a pair has floated around before. Not often, but it has been around.

So yeah, I decided the new box is the way to go.

[astroismypassion]

What's the difference between Mars in the 1st house, and Mars in the 8th house? People say both are powerful and sexual placements, but I feel like there's more to it than that.

Hi!

This is a cool cool question.

MARS IN THE 1ST HOUSE

when they make a mistake, they ALWAYS know THEY are in the wrong, their ego could be hurt or they might not want to admit the mistake, but they will always be accountable and aware that the mistake was fully on them

however, with Mars in the 8th this might very well NOT be the case, they are so interconnected with the other person's feelings, thoughts and actions that they don't know where they end and where the other person starts, lack of clear boundaries firstly within themselves if you ask me, because they need OTHER PEOPLE to survive and REFLECT their own IDENTITY BACK to them, meanwhile Mars in the 1st is already fully aware of their own identity, who they are, what they like, dislike, their actions, motives and traits

great athletic potential and skills, even if they don't even work out on a regular basis, they are still very skilled and might just wing it

very fun, adventurous, down to try everything at least once

does a lot of things on the spur of the moment

also, can we talk about how they procrastinate and one day later they schedule 5 meetings in a day and do it all at once? They might decide to meet with friends, finish an essay, study for an exam, go to the gym, just fully productive in one day

they are really focused on start and finishing a task in a short time frame, for them it's not so about details (like Mars in the 8th house), but they just want to say that they have finished it or done it

they will brag or tell you about stuff they've done before

MARS IN THE 8TH HOUSE

far far more reactive than Mars in the 1st house due to paranoia, past betrayals, trust difficulties

then CAN act very defensive and don't take enough responsibilities for their own emotional hurt or emotional reactions

they might be so convinced that their reaction was caused by the other person, that the feel like THE OTHER PERSON needs to take accountability and/or apologize

they can easily upset other people as well or evoke strong emotional hurt in other people, but then they put it on THEM, like Mars in the 8th house is not responsible for other people, but for themselves

so it's like a weird mix of being on their own, independent and standing behind their own action, yet at other times highly interconnected with other people's reactions, thoughts, emotions

meanwhile, Mars in the 1st house will always take accountability, because they always know they are on their own

don't get fooled by their strong nature, they don't actually know themselves that well deep down, so they constantly need other people around to mirror their traits, emotions, actions back to them

very nerdy

secretly might be low key afraid of their father figure and other male figures in life

loves sensual, quality lingerie

a bookworm too

they know so many random, fun facts, it's like their mind knowledge is endless well, it just never stops, they always surprise with new information, new knowledge

not so open to try everything once, UNLESS their friend recommended it

but other than that they are not so spontaneous with trying new stuff, actions, because they have prejudgements, pre-ideas about a topic and they already know in advance that some actvitiy just won't be enjoyable for them

they rely on inspiration and/or caffeine do meet the deadline

similar to Virgo Mars, can be too stuck in routines or their own daily schedule that they became negative and low energy because of it

they will keep a mystery or won't reveal as quickly their previous accomplishments or what they have done, they won't flaunt as much

I hope this answered some of your inquiries.

@astroismypassion

[bettsfic]

Hi Betts, welcome back!! Sorry to hear about your residency :(

I really enjoyed your recent ask about what makes a good writer. It came at the perfect time for me because in my first draft my writing looks pretty similar to the second example, and I knew something wasn’t clicking but couldn’t quite figure out what.

I’ve been worrying a lot about being explicit about bodily directions, item placement, and other irrelevant information because I can see the scene clearly in my mind, like a movie, and I feel the need to describe exactly what I’m seeing! But I don’t like it. I know I could do better. I much prefer when I write like in the first example, where the narrator’s personality infuses into the prose and you can “hear” them telling the story.

The trouble is, I’m unsure just how to get to that point. How do I know what information is irrelevant? Is there a way I can write closer to the first example from the get go? It would improve my writing confidence significantly. Is it an inspiration thing? When I’m really inspired I write like in the first example on my first attempt. Could it be how familiar I am with the POV character? I’m currently writing a character who doesn’t have a lot of canon screen time, so I’m worried my interpretation of him and how I explore his character may come off as OOC to readers.

Sorry for the length! :”0 I really look up to you and you writing prowess.

if in your drafting process, if writing those movements comes naturally to you, then you should continue to write them. sometimes you need to write your character crossing a room in order to reach something on the other side, because that's how you see it in your head. the character needs to make that movement to get across the room, and you need that movement to know what's across the room and why it might be important. and later, when the whole thing is done and you're revising it or even just proofing it, you can return to that sentence and ask yourself if it's beautiful enough or meaningful enough to stay. but you can usually only know that once the whole story has been told.

it took a lot of practice for me to let go of my own internal filmmaking in my writing. i was so dedicated to my teal formica tables. i wanted the reader to see what i saw while writing it.

but you can't really control what your reader sees in their mind's eye. you can only control what details they attend to (and why they attend to them). and when you think of it like that, what you want your reader to pay attention to, then relevance becomes easier to discern. if the teal formica table has a crack in the corner, and that crack has a story of how it came to be that would lend context or insight into a character, then by all means, the teal formica table becomes relevant. but otherwise, it goes.

deciding what stays and what goes is always going to be a challenge, though. relevance is never objective. what matters to you may not matter to one reader, and another reader may find it important but interpret its meaning differently. so much of revision is just having a wider frame of reference of your own work so you can assess as many options as you can and choose the right path for your story. and here, "right path" means a final draft that you feel confident about and proud of.

i appreciate the kind words, and best of luck on your fic!

[grumpyeagleandfriends]

Outpace Us All - Ch. 4 - Santiago Fic

A/N: Set two years after the mission in Colombia. The boys walked away with enough money to begin new lives back home. Santiago divides his time between being an investigator and a short-term foster care provider with the state. He begins to question himself and his ability to do good after he has several run-ins with a young boy in a delicate situation. As he is trying his best to help this kid through a tragedy, he begins to rely heavily on his complicated relationship with Frankie.

Angst. Hurt/Comfort. Original child character. Frankie is a single dad who owns a diner. Santiago and Will are cops. Benny is Benny.

Rating: Adult

Word Count : 11,000

Warnings: Men loving men. Sex. Cursing. Mentions blood and violence. Mentions drug use. Some lines of Spanish dialogue, which I include as a warning only because I am a non-native speaker.

Masterlist

___________________________________

Wednesday, October 9th, 2021. 7:45 AM

They were only four days in, but the situation of Samuel and his mother still remained mysterious. Hardly any of the questions brought up that night at the police station had answers. 

All Santiago did know was that the kid was cleared to stay at his place for at least another week. Depending on how things developed over the next few days, the duration could be prolonged. For the moment, a week’s worth of visibility was the only bit of clarity they had. 

Santiago recognized that there was a high possibility of Samuel's stay in care being stretched to two or three weeks. The longest emergency foster he had ever hosted was a little over two months. There was no official timeline or exact definitions given by the state of California, but emergency stays that lasted much longer than a couple months usually started to bleed into a different category. If Sonia's situation didn’t begin to show signs of improvement, then their case would inevitably change in the eyes of the law. If that were to happen, Sam would formally enter the foster system and require a placement in a more long-term setting. Santiago's home would need to be made available once more for other emergency cases. In the best of circumstances, Sam would go live with another family. In the event that there wasn’t an available home that was a good fit for him, he could also be sent to a group facility. 

Thinking about either outcome didn't feel particularly great, so Santi decided to stay focused on what was currently in his control. For the time being, he could provide Samuel with a roof and a bit of stability. The rest was outside of his sphere of influence. 

As it currently stood, things with his mother were complicated.

Even though Santiago left his number with Sonia and encouraged her to call or text whenever, all of their communication continued to pass through Dana. 

They were set to have a phone call with her later that evening, but in the back of his mind, Santiago was wary of the possibility that it might not happen. Sam's confession to fearing his mother abruptly leaving him still rang fresh in his memory, but he felt that it was important to look at things objectively. There was still so much he didn't know, and this situation didn't quite feel like other cases he had seen. This woman didn't fit the profile of someone who abruptly abandons a child, even if her young son seemed convinced that she was going to try. 

Despite everything, there had been an update the night before that was positive. 

Dana explained to Santi in a text that Sonia was already pre-approved for public housing. They would just have to wait for her paperwork to be processed and for whenever the next unit would become available. She was also in the early interviewing process for a new job, in what field exactly Dana hadn’t specified, but things were progressing. She still wouldn’t give any answers about what happened in the weeks and months leading up to her eviction. Dana and the staff at the shelter tried their best to coax any amount of details out of her, but she held strong to giving them only vague non-answers.

They were being led to believe that everything about her situation was simply due to hard luck. Nothing more. 

Samuel was their only other potential source for information, and he was just about as tight-lipped as Sonia. 

Santiago was already beginning to see the impact of everything on the boy. He wore the markers of someone who carried an unabated stress, like something under the surface was quietly eating away at him.

Samuel was undeniably well-behaved, but not in a easy going, mild-mannered way. He displayed a level of discipline that was disconcerting for a boy his age. His bed was always made. He knew to put his things away and how to fold his clothes nicely. Every day it looked like he was making a conscious effort to leave as little a trace as possible of his existence in the house. 

He regularly picked and chewed at his fingers, to a point where his cuticles were irritated and red. Saturday evening when they went to the supermarket, Santiago turned around from looking at cereal to find dried blood caking Samuel’s fingertips. With a fair amount of difficulty, he managed to fight the urge to scold the behavior. Instead, he found the public restrooms at the back of the store and sent him to go wash his hands. They later made their way to the check-out line with a couple boxes of band-aids thrown into the cart. 

Sleep seemed to be another issue for him. The hushed sounds Santiago thought he imagined coming from across the hall the first evening were now a nightly occurrence. He would lay there in his own room, listening to Sam's bed creak from tossing and turning, only to be interrupted by noises that hovered between sobs and whispered pleas. It was impossible to be sure, but it was almost like muffled prayers being spoken into the dark. 

Over the last few days they struggled to find something close to a routine. Santi took him to school in the mornings, picked him up in the afternoons. Later that day he planned to surprise him with a stop by Frankie's on the way home.  

Sam seemed torn between absolutely hating Santiago while simultaneously needing to follow his every move around the house. He spent a lot of time glaring and trying to look angry, but couldn't hide the fact that he didn't seem okay with being left alone. He would always try to hover in or around whatever room Santi was in, pretending to ignore him. It wasn't necessarily bothersome, but Santiago did find himself growing slightly exasperated by having suddenly acquired this disgruntled and mute second shadow. 

The only times Sam really spoke at length were during the rides to and from school. For whatever reason, there in the back seat of the truck, he felt comfortable enough to voice a small part of whatever was passing through his mind. He would often ask several questions in a row - usually about his mother, but sometimes there were surprises. 

Is my mom staying at someone's house or in a hotel? 

Is she in trouble? Is it kind of like a jail?

Does she get to go outside?  

Are there animals?

Is there a pool? 

Why don't you have any animals? 

Why can't I take the bus to school? 

In the space of a single car ride, it was impressive just how many questions he could fire out. Santi figured that it was maybe his way of trying to make sense of what was happening in his world - a grasp for some semblance of control.

That Wednesday was no exception. They were slowly crawling along in the thick morning traffic. The unusually heavy rain from the weekend was gone, leaving only crisp autumn air and a starkly clean blue sky. The song "Don't Fear the Reaper" was coming to an end on the radio. During the brief lull between each track in the DJ's morning mix, Santiago could hear the sound of Sam steadily picking at his fingers. 

They were about to exit off of the freeway when a voice piped up from the back seat. 

"Santiago?" 

He glanced briefly at the rearview mirror to find the kid staring in his direction. 

"Yeah?" 

There was a stretch of silence where he sensed that Sam was working up the courage to ask whatever was on his mind, but what finally came out took him by surprise. 

"Are you a cop?" 

It was asked in a manner that wasn't at all spontaneous, it was clear that he'd been thinking carefully about the matter for some time. The boy sat back with the seatbelt crossed over his chest, looking down at his lap as he awaited the response.

"Kind of..." Santiago began to thoughtfully chew at the inside of his cheek as he came to a stop at a red light. The conversation about what he did for a living was one he was used to having around other adults. It was surprising that he felt just as defensive about his choice of work even here in the presence of a child. 

"So, I'm a detective." He started. "Which means that I help lead investigations. Do you know what the difference is between me and most of the police you see?" 

He caught sight of Sam once again in the rearview mirror. 

The boy frowned as he shook his head. "No."

"Cops usually patrol out on the street. They're the ones you see in black and white squad cars." Santi explained as he turned onto the last street before Sam's school. A quiet groan left him the moment he caught sight of the long stretch of cars and school busses sat between them and the drop off point. His fingers restlessly drummed against the steering wheel. 

He reached over and cut the radio before turning around to look directly at Sam. 

"Those cops drive around looking to stop crime from happening. Detectives like me don't really do that. We sit at a desk most of the day. We only really go out when there is something to investigate, so that means that the crime has already happened." 

Samuel seemed to think over his words for several moments. He stared out the window, watching as older children advanced up the street on foot towards the school.

"But you've got a badge like a cop." He rebutted.

"I do." Santi agreed as he craned his neck to try and see past the long line of cars. He toyed with the idea of parking on a side street and walking Sam up himself. 

"I don't like cops." 

Samuel's confession was stated plainly, with no anger or malice. His tone of voice carried the same level of indifference as if he were talking about a vegetable that he doesn't eat.

"Oh yeah?" Santiago considered him through the rearview mirror, watching the way he disinterestedly fidgeted with the nylon straps of his backpack. "Why's that?"

He thought back to the night he picked him up at the police station, to the scene he found taking place in that hallway. He began to wonder about the likelihood that maybe the encounter hadn't been Sam's first bad experience with police. 

"Cause..." He began with a shrug, only the dark curls at the crown of his head were visible while his eyes remained trained down at his hands. "They ask too many questions."

Santi never had the chance to ask for any further clarification. The carpool line had progressed rapidly, effectively bringing the conversation to a swift close. He managed to quickly exchange a one-sided goodbye before Sam jumped out from the backseat. He watched for a few seconds as his blue backpack marched off toward the steps of the school. 

___________________________________

Wednesday, October 9th, 2021. 1:00 PM.

The office had a certain level of noise going at all times. Phones ringing. Tapping keys while someone typed. Chairs rolling across the floor. It was an open concept workspace. People were constantly walking in and out. The adjacent hallway was always reverberating the loud clanking doors on either end. 

Will's concentration flourished in that sort of environment. His mind was able to soften all the individual noises to a dull roar, turning it all into soft static that played in the background while he filled out reports and progressed through his schedule.

He and Santiago worked side by side. Their desks were back to back just outside of their head of unit's office.

Santi was the exact opposite in that he hated the office noise. Often he would ask for Will's help to fill out paperwork because he couldn't string coherent sentences together with all the distractions happening around them - the chatter that would build up near the office coffee machine, the people randomly filing in and out of the meeting rooms, the phone they shared between their two desks ringing every other hour. All that time he spent following cartel activity out in the jungle had changed his threshold for sensory input. Two years later and he still struggled to recalibrate. 

There were times when it bordered on overload. In those moments, Santiago would push away from his desk in frustration, announcing that he needed air before getting up and taking aimless strolls through the hallways and stairwells to clear his mind. He often needed those breaks. From the moment he joined on with the narcotics division, he always preferred to take his lunches outside. He was far from the only one, certainly, but Will couldn't think of one time where Santi chose to bring in leftovers or a sandwich from home. He always went out to grab food, run errands, or go to a nearby park to walk. 

Sitting in the breakroom and shooting the shit with other colleagues wasn't ever going to be his thing, and that was okay. Will didn't talk him in to joining the force because he needed him to socialize.  

It was precisely 1 o'clock when he came strolling back in from his lunch break. A takeaway coffee was securely nestled in one of his hands, a large shopping bag dangled from the other. 

Will didn’t look up in his direction, but could still hear the moment he paused mid-step as he spied the cream colored envelope left sitting on his keyboard. It bore the official seal of the Sacramento police department’s bureau of professional standards.  

“Came in while you were at lunch.” Will explained over his shoulder. 

Santiago’s eyes squinted to read the label as he took the envelope into his hands. There was an official looking gold and blue seal embossed over the back, with his name and desk number clearly addressed on the front. 

"You mind sharing why the Lieutenant of Professional Standards is noticing you?”

Will's voice was calm as he presented the question, but he felt the beginnings of a familiar anger rising up within him. He had brought Santiago on with Narcotics not just because he knew that he was overqualified for the job, but also because he knew how badly he needed the distraction. They all noticed how he closed in on himself after Colombia, but Frankie had been the one to see first hand just how deep Santiago's spiral went. 

Will never wanted to know the details of what transpired between the two of them that one weekend, but he was able to deduce enough for himself. Whatever shit that had been brewing off in the distance must have come to shore, because ever since they seemed to be silently weathering that storm together- silently in front of everyone. Will didn't need to ask any questions. He just saw that Santi needed to be saved from himself, so he tried to do his part and talked him into the job as a means of protecting him, as a means of keeping him close. 

But Santiago was one of those people who couldn't be kept out of trouble. He had an innate desire to go searching for it himself, always under the premise of some self-righteous bullshit.

“Shit, this came today?” He whispered in disbelief as he looked down at the envelope. 

With a gentle thud, he settled down onto his own desk chair, attention fixed to where his name, office floor, and desk number were neatly printed across the front. His finger quickly slid underneath the flap to break the adhesive seal. A few pieces of stapled paper were neatly folded inside. 

Santiago left Will’s question to hang in the air between them as he began to read over the documents. There were several lines of formalities before he finally arrived at the essential information. 

"This letter is to inform you that a unique system tracking number has been allocated to your filed report. You will be notified by the department as soon as report #10D53335F8296 has been assigned an investigator and upon the completion of the initial preliminary review..."

Santi ripped his eyes away from the papers to find Will staring at him, one eyebrow threatening to arch in a silent demand that he be filled in. 

"On Monday I filed a complaint about an officer." He supplied, his voice kept purposefully to a murmur as he continued to scan over everything. 

Attached were several similarly worded documents informing him that over the course of three days his complaint had astonishingly progressed through the first steps outlined in the opening letter. A civilian investigator had officially been matched to his case and had already begun the preliminary review. He was given a time and date to be interviewed about the incident. 

Will dragged a hand over his mouth. He took a slow inhale before looking back at the man still intently reading over the stapled documents. 

“You filed a complaint for what?”

“Improper force." Santiago responded while promptly re-folding everything and neatly fitting it back inside the envelope. "The cop on duty the night I picked up Sam was out of line. So I notified the supervisor of his unit. She advised me to formally file a complaint so it would be on record.”

Will's eyes narrowed as he listened. 

“You filed this Monday and they responded today? That doesn't seem right." 

He sat forward in his seat, nodding over to the envelope in his hands. 

"Mind if I take a look?" 

Santi shrugged before handing over the documents. “They just want me to attend a meeting. Give my side of the story...”

Will silently read over each page, seeming unable to accept Santiago's dismissal of the situation. His expression remained neutral as he analyzed the details, convinced that there should be some sort of error. He knew well enough how these things worked. Normally it was a question of months before anything went anywhere, not days. 

"What's the officer's name?" He whispered, still intently reading. 

“Powell.” Santiago replied before draining the last of his coffee. "Some young rookie who was on patrol the night Sam was picked up."

There was a minute twitch in Will's features before he let out a low whistle.  

Santi couldn't pretend to have missed his friend's reaction. "What's that look?" He insisted while taking the letters back. 

Their eyes met. Will could only shake his head as he settled back in his chair. 

“For your sake, Pope, I hope he's not related to Deputy Chief Powell.”

"So what if he is?"

Santiago wore a mirthless smirk before he turned around to face his own desk. Powell could be related to the head of the CIA for all he cared. He would still go to that stupid formality of a meeting, give his version of what happened, maybe get Dana to corroborate if necessary, and then it would stop there. Powell would at most get a slap on the wrist, but there would at least be documentation of his conduct somewhere. Maybe it could serve the next person who might need to report him for something. 

Will didn't entertain his question. He recognized that it wasn't worth the back and forth. Santiago's bleeding heart and his need for the last word were things that he knew too fucking well.

___________________________________

Wednesday, October 9th, 2021. 3:30 PM.

Every day so far after school, Santiago had taken to picking up Samuel at the park directly across the street. While he waited for the dismissal bell to chime, he found himself reflecting on their conversation from that morning. Currently, there was a general feeling of mistrust hanging over his house, and he was fairly certain that the sentiment went both ways. 

The first few months after returning from Colombia, he lived on edge. The money they stole belonged to more people than just Lorea. The list of dangerous individuals who would be looking for answers was long. Despite how careful he had been in-country to destroy any trace pointing to him or the boys, he couldn’t shake the paranoia that followed him home. Every night he would make the rounds in his own house, checking all of the windows and locks. He installed a security system with cameras. He looked frequently in the rearview mirror while driving. Whenever he couldn’t sleep, he peered through the blinds to survey the street outside.

Even though the paranoia began to fade after the first six months, Santiago never really lost those habits. 

After the kid tried to run away on Saturday, he found himself once more making the rounds to make sure that all windows and doors leading outside were properly secured. Santi had no choice but to keep his house keys either in his pocket or locked in his nightstand. It only seemed to further cement their roles as jailor and detainee, but for the sake of Sam’s safety he couldn't risk making the same mistake twice.

Due to the abrupt nature of how most placements were brought to his home, Santi regretted how difficult it was to build a rapport with them. The past few days with Sam were proving to only be more of the same. Most of their interactions so far felt like forms of interrogation, so he couldn't exactly blame the kid for not liking him. 

He worried that staying in a foster home while his mother was in a shelter felt like something akin to punishment. 

The afternoon sun blazed down onto the concrete and the rooftops of cars. The crisp autumn air from that morning was gone, as the heat of summer desperately tried to make one of its last appearances before the cold weather officially took over everything. All of the kids walking up to their respective rides had abandoned their morning jackets for short sleeves. They were chatting happily, buzzing with energy as they shoved at each other and ran around. 

As he scanned through the crowd for signs of Samuel, Santiago couldn't keep from thinking about how different he was from these children. Their steps seemed light and easy, their sleep at night was probably unburdened and peaceful. 

Amongst the throngs of pupils walking along to find their parents, Samuel abruptly appeared alone. With his head bowed, he slipped between the small packs of kids to hurry towards the truck. His movements were quick, his sneakers pushed off hard against the sidewalk as soon as he caught sight of Santiago's truck. The moment he yanked the door open and clambered up into the backseat, he skipped right past saying hello. 

"-When are we going to call?"

A gentle scoff escaped Santiago as he turned back to the front to readjust his seatbelt. He could only shake his head while shifting the truck into reverse. 

"I told you already this morning, Sam. Not until after dinner. She's still busy during the day." 

The boy's face visibly soured at the answer. His backpack was promptly shrugged off and allowed to drop to the floorboards before he twisted around to grab his seatbelt. Since yesterday afternoon, he had been repeatedly reconfirming with Santiago the timing of the phone call. Whenever the subject crossed his mind, his body began to fidget with impatience. It had likely consumed his thoughts all day while at school, which only made Santi worry that he was potentially getting set up for another big disappointment. 

He had seen one too many times how phone calls with parents could fall through. It was a small, disruptive blow that could be so cruelly devastating for a kid in care. Having that dangling carrot ripped away unexpectedly just made their already difficult situation that much more unbearable.

Even the announcement of stopping by Frankie's didn't seem to lift Samuel's mood. That afternoon there were no unexpected questions fired from the backseat. They drove along listening to only the radio. 

The moment they pulled into the parking lot of the diner, a garish red instantly caught Santiago's eye. 

Parked in the very first spot by the front door, sat Benjamin Miller's pride and joy. Against the deep charcoal of the asphalt and the cool metal of the building's exterior, the gaudy paint job almost appeared to be glowing. 

Even Sam seemed to perk up in the back seat. As they slowly drove past, his head turned to continue peering out at the sportscar, his expression showing just how perplexed he was by the vehicle. It was easy enough to understand why. Next to all of the humble sedans and pick-up trucks, Benny's Ferrari looked like it descended from another planet.  

Maybe he likes cars, Santi quietly thought to himself as he found parking a few spaces down. 

They slid out from the truck into the balmy heat. Before he could properly close the door to the driver's seat, Sam was already scurrying past him. 

The boy balanced restlessly on the outer edges of his sneakers.

“How long are we staying here?” He squinted against the harsh late-day sun.

Santiago shot a dry look in his direction. He shook his head once more before locking the truck and joining him up on the curb. 

“Not too long. Thirty minutes, maybe.” 

Sam’s face fell at his answer. 

“Why?” Santiago demanded with a smirk. “You’ve got somewhere to be that I don’t know about? You got a part time job somewhere?” 

Even for a seven year-old, the rhetorical nature of the question didn’t go unnoticed. The boy was still a bit too young to master the art of rolling his eyes, but his stony expression conveyed the same message. He ignored the joke and turned on his heel.

Just before he could fully face away, an odd shaped hole at the collar of his t-shirt caught Santiago's eye. 

“Hey! What happened to your shirt?"

Sam didn’t turn back to him, but his head dipped forward as his hand reached up to press against the rip at his collar. It was a plain dark red t-shirt, one of the new things that he bought him recently. After a couple seconds of reflection, it dawned on Santiago that Sam had been wearing it every day to school since Monday. He hadn't been able to notice in the mornings because Sam was usually wearing his jacket. 

"Kid, have you been wearing the same shirt all week?" 

Santi felt almost guilty, wondering if the teacher at school had noticed him arriving every day in the same clothes. Instead of answering the question, Sam looked at him with the expression of a child who is trying to judge just how angry the adult confronting them might be. Santiago could once again feel their conversation hurtling towards that interrogation pattern of cop against fugitive, and he knew that he needed to back off. The last thing he wanted was to make a kid feel guilty over a seven dollar t-shirt. 

"Do you like that one a lot or something?" He asked easily. 

Sam continued to look unsure, but he nodded his head faintly.

Santiago didn't really know if he was being truthful or not, but it didn't matter. The truth surrounding why he didn't change his clothes for three days wasn't the real issue. He needed to find a way to help him stop feeling so wary around him. 

He only shook his head as he tsked in quiet disapproval. "What is that face for? C'mon, you're not in trouble." 

He lifted his baseball cap and pushed back some of the curls off his forehead before he walked over. "Look, it's fine. I ripped my jeans about every week when I was your age- drove my mom absolutely insane. I can buy you more in that color if you like it, but try to wear a different shirt every day, alright? People are going to think that I don't take care of you."

His hand dropped down onto the boy's shoulder, he gently steered him towards the diner. 

"C'mon, I'll let you meet the guy who drives that car." 

Together they began to head for the front door.

The late afternoon sun cast its glow through the windows of the bustling diner, covering the space with a warm autumn light. The air hummed with a mix of sounds. Conversations intermingled with the scraping of silverware, the clatter of dishes, all while the staff hurried back and forth from behind the bar to the tables. Unlike the last time when Santi brought Sam in the wee hours of the morning, the place was now packed. The entire neighborhood seemed to have the same idea to swing by after work and school. Patrons filled the cozy booths and the worn counter stools, the aroma of the sizzling grill, coffee, and homemade pies wafted through the air. 

Dead in the middle of the buzzing diner, Santiago's eyes honed in on the familiar figure of Benjamin Miller. He was sitting perched on a barstool at the counter, a basket of half-eaten onion rings set out in front of him. He wore a smile as he joked with someone standing on the other side of the kitchen window, probably Frankie. 

Despite himself, Santiago felt a grin crack his features the moment Benny spotted him.

He quickly stood from his barstool, loud voice booming over the dull roar surrounding them. 

“Ahh, there he is!” Benny brightly called. His tall figure was dressed in a sweat damp t-shirt and Carhartt work pants, a faded baseball cap turned backwards over his damp blond hair. He was no doubt fresh off from some project, probably flipping another house to sell.

Sam paused mid-step, unsure where to go in the busy space packed with people. Before Santiago's legs could collide into his back, his hands easily dropped down onto his shoulders. Silently, he guided the boy forward, steering them both in the direction of the counter. 

“Hola, Santiago… ”

Santi’s head spun at the familiar sound of a woman’s voice. 

Carla, Frankie’s second in command was shooting him a grin as she carried plates of food over to a table. 

“Oye, Carla, que tal? ” He brightly greeted over his shoulder. 

They reached where the younger Miller brother stood waiting for them at the counter, just across from the opening where orders were passed up from the back of the kitchen. 

“Where the hell have you been?” Benny grinned before firmly drawing Santi close. His large hand clapped hard against his back, making a hollow thumping noise that warmed his insides. 

He pulled a face of amused disbelief as he pulled away. “Ah, c’mon, we saw each other like three weeks ago.”

In his defense, it was true. Three weeks of absence was nothing at all compared to his previous track record, but now that he was stateside for good, his friends and family demanded more of him. His old excuse of working on the other side of the world didn’t fly anymore. 

Santi craned his neck to glance around at the filled tables. “Jesus, Ben, did you invite the entire block to come here with you?” 

“Yeah, told them Fish was paying.” Benny deadpanned before his eyes fell to Samuel. “Who's the kid?”

Sam’s hands held onto the straps of his backpack as he looked around to watch the bustle of the diner. 

“This is Sam. He’s staying with me for a while.”

Benny's eyebrows rose minutely before he could catch himself. He didn’t quite know what to make of the pair. He’d seen Santiago take in older boys, most of them old enough to at least have a learner’s permit. This one looked like he just learned to ride a bike without training wheels. 

"This is my friend Benny." Santi explained down to the boy planted in front of him. "He's the one who drives the red Ferrari outside." 

Samuel's gaze traveled slowly from Benny's work boots up to his face, seeming torn between being impressed and feeling some mild disbelief. 

For years Santiago had witnessed Benny have that effect on people. He didn't know him before their time together in the army, but Will always swore that he came into the world with that magnetic pull, and never for a second did Santi doubt it. Everything about Benny drew attention - his height, his loud voice, his ice blue eyes and disarming smile. The flashy car parked out front was just another cherry atop what was already a well-decorated cake. 

"Is Frankie around?" He asked, eyes already scanning for him amongst the kitchen staff. 

As a direct answer to his question, Frankie's broad back suddenly appeared through the door to the kitchen. He was busy lifting a white cook's apron over his head. Both his stride and posture read like he had been having a rough afternoon. 

It was all but confirmed when his mouth formed a tight apologetic smile the moment he caught sight of Santiago. He made his way over. 

"Two cooks called out today." He quickly offered. "Go ahead and sit down. Let me bus this table in the corner and I'll be right there."

His eyes never lifted to properly greet Santiago's, instead his hand only squeezed his bicep as he slipped past. 

"Y'alright, Fish?" Benny demanded.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Rush is almost over." He waved dismissively, speeding away to the other end of the diner. "Carla, you tell Angel that I got the dishwasher working again. No excuses for the dishes being backed up anymore!" 

"Sure thing, Frank." Carla sighed from where she stood at the cash register. "He's been like that all damn day." 

She looked up at Santiago as she muttered the last part. He craned his neck to follow Frankie, teeth gently worrying the inside of his cheek while he studied him. 

Benny didn't say anything, choosing instead to busy himself with clearing away his empty basket of onion rings. He stood and moved easily behind the counter like he was no different than any of the people actually on Frankie's payroll. He disposed of his trash and dropped the plastic basket with the others, only pausing to serve himself a glass of ice tea from the beverage fountain. 

“Hey, kid..." He called over his shoulder to Samuel. "Why's there a hole in your shirt?” 

Santiago watched as Sam slightly straightened in surprise, caught off guard to be suddenly the topic of conversation for Benny. Like before, his hand moved to defensively touch the aforementioned rip.

"Nothing." He mumbled.

“Nothing, huh?" Benny repeated before taking a mouthful of ice-tea, the familiar shine of amusement never leaving his eyes. "Sounds fake. What really happened? Did you get in a fight?” 

A short pause fell between them, where Samuel only stared at the man with a furrowed brow. Not sure that Benny's playful teasing landed, Santiago nearly opened his mouth to intervene before a faint half-smile slowly broke across the boy's face.

“No!” He quietly insisted.

“Uh-huh. Did you at least win?” Benny demanded, playfully wiggling his eyebrows as he munched on a piece of ice. 

"No!" Samuel looked down at the counter to conceal what could only be described as a bashful sort of grin. 

“Aha!" Benny quickly exclaimed. "You did win, didn’t you!”

Sam tried to make an exasperated face, but couldn't suppress his own urge to laugh. 

It was the only time Santiago could recall seeing him smile. Before he could even begin to dwell much on that realization, Frankie was making his way back over to where they were sitting.

"Cómo te va, Samuelito ?" He lightly nudged the boy's shoulder as he walked past.

He expertly slipped behind the counter, immediately beginning to search all around before brandishing a silver ice cream scoop. “How about some ice cream? I’ve got chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla.” 

Sam blinked at the new proposal. His mouth parted with initial hesitation, unsure of what he was supposed to say. There was a faint creak of the barstool as he turned to look at Santiago, his sable brown eyes asking if he had permission.  

“Yeah, it’s alright, go ahead.” Santi nodded to him. “-But just one scoop, Frank!” He quickly added, already familiar with the diner’s generous portion sizes. “I need him to eat dinner tonight.”

Frankie audibly scoffed at the proposal, mumbling "who eats just one scoop?" under his breath.

“Sociopaths.” Benny easily chimed in, never looking up from his phone.

Much to Santiago’s dismay, his protests only fell on deaf ears. He watched as two large balls of strawberry ice cream were scooped into a small bowl. They were dressed with a few jets of whipped cream and a wafer cookie before being promptly delivered to the space in front of his young charge.

His disapproval quietly dissolved into the back of his mind as he watched the way Samuel dug into his free dessert, his feet swinging in the air ever so slightly. By the time Santi looked over to issue a silent thank you to Frankie, the man had already disappeared back to the kitchen.  

“Are you coming to the cookout at Will’s this weekend?” Benny asked as he settled down on the open stool next to him.

Confused, Santi sharply twisted around to face him. “I just spent all afternoon next to your brother. Since when is he grilling?” 

“Since I just texted him to say that we’re cooking at his place this weekend.”

The explanation didn’t come as a surprise, but Santiago only gestured his head vaguely in Samuel’s direction.

“I don’t know, Ben. I'm not exactly free.”

“So what? Bring him.” Benny declared before standing on the foot rest of his stool. He abruptly craned over to peer through the open window to the kitchen. “Fish! Tell him he should bring the kid to Will’s!”

“Jesus-” Santi whispered, his hand softly hitting the counter top in exasperation. Discretion was a quality Benny seemed to abandon once in the civilian world. 

“You should bring him.” Frankie replied from the kitchen, never looking up from the order of food he was plating. “It’ll do you some good to have a break.”

It didn't take long for him to finally agree to stop by Will's place on Saturday. He didn't truthfully have a good enough reason not to go and the idea of sipping a beer on the immaculate deck in his buddy's backyard didn't sound too terrible. He didn't quite know what he would do to keep Sam entertained around a bunch of adults, but he half-suspected that Benny would take care of it for him. 

___________________________________

Wednesday, October 9th, 2021. 7:30 PM.

It took everything he had to keep Samuel occupied before they were meant to call Sonia. The boy rushed through his homework and through eating dinner. For the entire evening, his eyes never once stopped following Santi around - looking for any sign that it was finally time. The unvoiced question of "when" sat plainly between them. 

Santiago didn't know what to do with him in these moments. He didn't seem interested in TV. Multiple times he tried to sit Samuel down in front of cartoons while he went to do things around the house, but without fail he would abandon the bright colors and flashing lights to come find him. He would try sending him to go play, but that was an even bigger failure, though for reasons that admittedly weren't Samuel's fault. The only things remotely resembling toys lying around the house were several decks of playing cards and an old football that was too big for the kid's child-sized hands.

His only remedy to Samuel following him around was to give him little chores. Part of him worried that it would come across like a punishment, but to his surprise Sam was strangely eager to work alongside him. Things like sending him outside to pick up sticks in the yard while dinner cooked, getting him to help unload the dishwasher, setting the table - he was visibly content to have little jobs to perform, to be useful. 

Santiago made a note to call his own mother and ask if she had any of his old toys in storage. Even if it was a solution to make the time pass, giving the kid chores to occupy him felt a little too much like something out of a Dickens novel. He didn't know where that obedient part of his personality came from, but further exploiting it wasn't something he wanted to make a habit. 

A half-hour after dinner they finally went to the back bedroom to call Sonia. 

Samuel climbed up on to the desk chair this time, while Santiago sat down on the foot of the bed. 

His number must have been registered on a pre-approved list since the last call, because they were put directly through by the shelter. Much to Santiago's surprise, Sonia picked up on the very first ring. 

She sounded better than the last time they spoke with her. Her voice was lighter, less tired. Immediately she wanted to share good news with them. A new job had been offered to her at an insurance company. She would be able to start in a couple of weeks. They just needed to wait for the city housing office to place her and Samuel in an apartment. 

"It won't be long." She promised him repeatedly. "Just another week, sweetheart." 

After answering his many questions, she happily demanded to know everything about school and how we was doing. 

Santiago sat back and watched Sam as he began to recount the last three days in great detail. The good news had clearly lifted his spirits, but something about having his mother's undivided attention made him positively beam. Sides of himself that he never showed before began to peak their way through. He seemed to drop his serious demeanor as he talked about what they were learning at school and how he got to help feed the class pet that day. For once he began to sound like almost any other seven year-old. 

It made Santi think back to himself as a little boy. He could remember having some of the very same reactions and mannerisms- speaking animatedly with his hands while he told stories, using the occasional word in English when he couldn't quickly find what he wanted to say in Spanish. 

Sonia let Samuel rattle on for twenty-five minutes, lightly laughing as she listened and only ever stopping him to briefly ask one or two questions. 

Hearing his voice seemed to have the same effect on her as it did on him - it was both a source of comfort and sadness. 

Before long she made a quick excuse about needing to go. The way she said goodbye to her son and wished him goodnight was inexplicably rushed. 

___________________________________

Saturday, October 12th, 2021. 3:00 PM

Will’s backyard was impressive compared to the mix of patchy grass and dirt behind Santiago's house.

It was a space that was designed for a family, for entertaining lots of guests. Will didn't yet have the wife and kids element locked down, but Santiago knew he was working on it. Out of all of them, he was maybe the most cut out for that kind of life. He didn't ever talk about those sorts of things with him or Frankie, but Benny probably knew his plans for the future. They all used their shares of the Colombia money in various ways to rebuild their lives back home - each of them trying to construct something closer to what they had imagined for themselves - each with varying levels of success. Maybe for Will, using his time and money to carefully curate and care for this big house with a magazine-worthy backyard was a way of manifesting.

For now, it hosted their boys' nights and get-togethers with Will & Benny's extended family.

The grass was perfectly maintained, soft enough to comfortably walk on barefoot, with absolutely no prickly weeds or sharp little stones. There were large oak trees in the very back near the fence, the kind with low branches perfect for hanging a tire swing. There was a stainless steel double grill for large cookouts, a sand pit for playing horseshoes, even a built-in seating area on the deck that held a fire pit.

Samuel and Santiago were the last ones to arrive.

There was no bright red Ferrari in the driveway, but Santi recognized the black SUV out front as one of Benny's back-up vehicles. Frankie's truck was parked along the curb. 

Following the usual protocol, he led Samuel along the side of the house toward the back gate. Even Will’s side lawn was perfectly mowed, the tall wooden privacy fence stained an HOA-approved color. While balancing a small cooler of drinks under one arm, Santiago easily reached over the fence and unlatched the wooden door with his free hand.

Sam stayed close behind him as they entered the backyard, dutifully carrying the grocery store bag of burger buns they were tasked with bringing.

Already, he could hear the sounds of Benny’s laughter and Creedence Clearwater Revival from the outdoor speakers. The smell of grilled meat hung in the air, ambient mosquito lamps were lit around the back porch.

Will was unsurprisingly manning the grill when they walked up to the back deck. He was dressed in cargo shorts and flip-flops despite the autumn chill that was guaranteed to arrive once the sun went down.

“So this is your plus one?” He asked over his shoulder. The burgers sizzling away were left briefly unattended as he turned around to face them.

Santiago ushered Sam to stand in front of him. “Go ahead, say hi to Will.” He pressed.

Sam looked up from the plastic sack of buns he held against his belly, obediently mumbling a quick hi just loud enough to be heard.

“How’s it going, kid?” Will nodded to him before pointing to the table at the center of the deck. “Go set those over on the table for me, will you?”

The boy moved to follow his instructions. As Santiago worked at transferring his beers into the bigger communal cooler, he watched Samuel from behind, his gaze needlessly supervising while he went about the simple task. 

Will couldn’t keep himself from smirking. It was always the same with every new placement Santi took in. In the beginning he was always hypervigilant, needing to establish order so he could pass as a reliable authority figure. When most of the teenage boys he took in stood a full head taller than him, he had to play the bad cop over the first few days and make them earn his trust through curfews and chore lists. But before long he always eased up.

Seeing him with a child seemed to have completely morphed that old strategy. He stared after Samuel with the same energy as a mother hen, always looking to be a split second away from fretting over him.

Santiago caught Will watching him the moment he straightened up from filling the main cooler. His eyes narrowed as he craned his head to the side.

“What is your deal, Miller?”

Will could only shrug and shake his head before he turned back to the grill.

Frankie and Benny came out from the sliding glass door, a young black Labrador eagerly following behind them. The dog was just about at adult size, easily weighing over 60 pounds. His nails clicked across the deck as he scurried over to greet the newcomers.

His deep bark reverberated throughout the backyard before he suddenly lunged toward Samuel. Instinctively, Santiago’s hand gripped the boy’s shoulder. He abruptly stood up, ready to move himself in front to intercept, but Benny already had a firm hold on the dog’s leather collar. 

"Bo, settle down!" Will sharply called his dog's name. 

"He's fine. I've got him." Benny easily calmed the situation. “Big guy's just a little excited.”

Sam didn't back away from the overly energetic dog. He stood squarely planted in the same spot, grinning as he offered out a hand for him to smell.

“Atta boy, Sam.” Benny quietly praised, his grip still steady on the dog's collar. “Let him smell you first. When he sits down then you can pet him.”

Santiago watched as Bo finally dropped into a sitting position. Sam reached up to scratch at his ears. 

“You like dogs?” He asked him.

Sam nodded at the question. He leaned back as the dog’s pink tongue tried to lick his face, softly laughing as he attempted to dodge the overgrown puppy's affection.  

Santi thought back to conversations they held in his truck on the way to school in the mornings. Multiple times the kid had asked him why he didn't have any pets. Watching him confidently interact with Will’s dog showed that he clearly had grown up around animals.

A strange tension in his jaw slowly melted away, one that he hadn't even realized he was holding. A single corner of his mouth ticked upward in a hesitant smile. He began to wonder if maybe he overreacted a bit. In truth there had been no real danger. Will's dog was young but he was well trained. Even if that weren't the case, in this backyard surrounded by these four men, nothing bad would have ever happened to Samuel. 

He hadn't even noticed Frankie digging out a beer for him from the cooler. Cool and wet fingertips suddenly wrapped around his elbow, still dripping from the ice water. Santiago felt his chest deflate some as the frigid glass bottle was pushed against his open palm. He tried to lean into the man's touch, turning his head slightly in hopes that they would graze one another, but Frankie slipped away just as quickly as he came. 

The brief contact still caused something in Santiago's chest to buzz, like the quickest flash of static electricity. He tried to meet Frankie's eyes as he set about grabbing drinks for everyone, but his brow was obscured under the brim of his hat.

His body language was the same as in the diner a few days ago. He may have been physically present with them in the backyard, but mentally he was so clearly elsewhere. 

Santiago only swallowed and nodded to himself. With the help of a nearby lighter sitting on the table, he popped open his beer with ease. He tried not to mull over any hidden meaning in that fleeting touch as he took his first swig. 

The afternoon sun warmed the air around them. For the next few hours, Sam chose to stay close, quietly hanging off to the side and listening as the adults talked. Conversation was principally dominated by the Miller brothers. Benny had a fight in Vegas coming up. Will wanted to organize a boys hike in a couple of weeks.

Samuel sat between Frankie and Santiago, happily eating whatever was offered to him. Ever since their last telephone call to his mother, Sam seemed to be eating and sleeping much better. Santiago was relieved to see for the last few evenings that there was hardly any food left on his plate. Late at night when he would finally to bed, there was hardly any noise at all coming from Sam's bedroom across the hall. 

As the sun gradually began to set, Sam finally ventured off the deck to play in the yard with Will's dog. He happily chased after the black Lab, chucking his grimy tennis ball up in the air for him to catch. 

Happy that the kid was occupied and knowing that they would be staying a while longer, Santiago allowed himself to settle back with a second beer. The sun was beginning to fall already, and Will was starting to gather the supplies to light a fire.

Frankie sat next to him on a folding chair. He hardly spoke the entire afternoon, opting to drink water instead of beer. His shiny black eyes made a point to avoid Santiago as much as possible. He sat with his arms folded, intensely watching Will's very involved technique for placing logs in the metal base of the firepit. 

Impatient, Benny reached over to nudge his brother with his foot.

"You playing Lincoln Logs there or what?”  

"I’m trying to get the most use out of this wood.” Will retorted as he worked at securing the logs in place. “How many of my fires have kept your asses from freezing out in the field?"

“Hundreds.” Santiago agreed. 

“Well now we're freezing our asses off in the middle of civilization. Hurry up, will ya?” Benny replied while tugging a hooded sweatshirt over his head.  “The temperature's dropped like 20 degrees.” 

The crackling flames soon danced in the firepit, casting a warm glow.

Their collective attention was redirected when Bo came trotting back up onto the deck, sans tennis ball and without Samuel.

Sanitaog scanned the backyard, struggling to locate the boy until he noticed a small dark figure high up in the big oak tree near the back fence.

Thanks to the lights Will had installed on the back of his house, Santiago could see Sam dangling from a thick outstretched limb of the magnolia tree. In one fluid try, he managed to bring his legs upward, wrapping himself entirely around the branch. His skinny arms weren’t covered with much muscle at all, but what little he possessed seemed to be well toned. He was completely at ease while he worked his way comfortably atop the thick branch, settling himself into a sitting position.

“Looks like you’ve got yourself a country boy, Pope.” Benny laughed as he looked over his shoulder, one brow raised in amusement.

“That’s definitely a kid that spends time outside.” Will hummed before taking a sip from his beer. 

Santiago had to admit that Sam was surprisingly strong for his size. He doubted at age seven that he possessed the necessary core or upper body strength to pull off those maneuvers.

Still, that nagging instinct to keep the boy out of danger remained ever present at the back of his mind. Slowly, he cupped one hand around his mouth.

“Sam, buddy, that’s high enough!” He cautioned across the yard.

“I’m fine!” A small voice eventually called back. 

A soft sigh of frustration escaped Santiago when it was clear that his warning went ignored. He set his untouched bottle of beer down beside him.

“I better go make sure he doesn’t fall and break something.” 

Before he could even move, Frankie’s hand gripped his shoulder, gently nudging him back down onto his chair. “Stay. I’ll go keep an eye on him.”

They all watched Frankie's broad back traipse across the lawn, his hands in his pockets as he approached the oak tree. 

“Does he seem off to anybody else?”

The three of them didn’t look at each other. Santiago let his question hang in the air, spoken softly enough so it couldn’t be heard on the opposite side of the backyard. 

Frankie stood at the base of the tree, head tilted back while he mindfully watched Samuel climb. His words weren't entirely clear, but they could hear him speaking in Spanish. His hand moved to point to something once in a while, gesticulating while he gave some sort of direction or encouragement.

“He does.” Will quietly agreed as he lowered himself onto one of the open Adirondack chairs. “I thought maybe things weren't going great at the diner.”

Santiago knew that if things were going poorly at the diner, Frankie would just be stomping around and slamming cabinets while cursing up a storm. This went beyond the dishwasher breaking down and line cooks calling out. The empty look in his eyes for the past few days suggested something much deeper. Even more so, Santiago knew that Will was more astute than that. He had to have the same alarm bells ringing in his head. 

“No. You and I can both see that it's something more.”

Will stoked the fire some before settling back into his seat. He looked Santiago in the eyes, his face still remaining neutral. 

“Look, we only found out today.”

Santiago's brow knit together as he stared at the two brothers. His attention zeroed in on Benny, catching the moment he began looking uncomfortably down at the beer bottle in his hands. Will may have been known for putting on a stony mask, but his younger brother was never quite able to hide his emotions in the same way. 

“What do you know, Ben?” 

Benny's lips pressed together into a tight line, but he never lifted his gaze. It wasn't his information to share and he fucking hated being the messenger, but he knew that when it came to Frankie, Santiago could not be talked into backing down.

“Elena is trying for full custody.”

The silence that followed the admission was heavy, and it only set Santiago further on edge as he struggled to process the information. His mind raced to try and find some kind of meaning. 

Elena had ample reason to be pissed at Frankie, but their daughter had stood as a no-conflict zone between them. They always co-parented well, despite their differences. And even though she hated Santiago's guts, he didn't know her to be a cruel or vindictive person. Something had to have happened. 

“She's gotta be doing this to try and get his attention. Have either of you spoken to her?”

Benny cleared his throat, his eyes still trained down towards the mouth of his beer bottle.

“It's still so fresh, man. He’s only known since Monday.”

Will shook his head before pointing a warning finger at Santiago. “This isn't our fight, Pope. And frankly, of all people, you definitely need to keep your nose out of it.”

Only a year earlier, that sort of comment would have sparked rage deep within Santi. Maybe it was because it was coming from Will, and maybe the 2nd beer had him feeling more relaxed, but he simply nodded.

“Yeah, I'm aware.” He bore a bitter half-smile as he held up a placating hand. “But this isn't fucking right and we all know it.”

Santiago took a sip of his beer, only turning his head so he could verify that Samuel hadn't gone any higher in Will's tree. 

Frankie must have succeeded in convincing him to climb down, because he was now hanging upside down by his knees from the lowest branch. 

Seemingly eager for a subject change, Benny nodded to the scene taking place on the other side of the backyard. 

"What's the story with this kid?"

Santiago shrugged. "Hard to say. His mom's got issues, but she won't talk to anyone. We just know that they were evicted and about to sleep out on the street. It looks like she's running from something. Maybe an ex. Maybe she owes someone money."

Will leaned onto the armrest of his deck chair. "Does she have a record?" 

He let the question drift out between them casually. Due to their line of work, they both had access to certain connections and the privileges that went along with them. It was a practice that wasn't discouraged or encouraged, but they both knew that Santiago could have easily obtained her file if Sonia had one with the police. 

"Nope. All clear." 

"What about the kid?"

Santiago slowly blinked, his dark eyes incredulous. 

"Does he have a police record at age seven?" 

A smile appeared across Will's face as he looked out across his back lawn. He could so clearly hear the indignation in his friend's voice as he disbelievingly rephrased the question, there was no need to look over to confirm that his eyes were probably narrow slits.

"I meant have you tried asking him for more information, Pope." 

An empty laugh pushed its way from Santiago's chest. 

"I've tried, but I'm not exactly his favorite person." He sighed, his chair creaking as he leaned back into a long stretch. "We've fallen into this cops and robbers routine somehow. He goes non verbal the second I start asking any questions." 

Will's fingers scratched against the stubble growing under his chin, this time a twinge of genuine amusement flashed across his features as he tried to imagine the scene. 

"It's only been a few days, right? Don't they usually settle in after a while?" 

"Yeah, yeah..." Santi hummed as he began peeling off the foil wrapper around the mouth of his beer bottle, clearly unconvinced. "Most of them do." 

Benny leaned forward to chuck another log onto Will’s fire, his face contemplative while he looked for the right spot.

“If something’s really wrong, he’ll eventually talk.” He spoke while a few stray fireflies took off into the air.

Santiago didn't ask for clarification, but he couldn't keep from mulling over how Benny's advice applied to both individuals on the other side of the backyard. 

___________________________________

Saturday, October 12th, 2021. 10:15 PM

They left Will's house around 10 PM.

After saying their goodbyes to the Miller brothers, Santiago and Frankie stood between their trucks parked on the edge of the front lawn. Sam was already climbing up into the backseat of Santi's truck while the two men said goodbye to one another. Santiago purposefully lingered in the embrace they shared. His arms held the man against his chest, stopping him from being able to pull away too quickly. It was indulgent, surely, but he needed to feel that contact, for however brief it ultimately would be. The conversation he held with Will and Benny just a few hours earlier still rang fresh in his mind. To say that he was concerned for Frankie didn't come close enough to the worry he was now feeling. Santiago knew that if what Elena was attempting to do was for real, his own heart would break at having to watch such a callous thing be inflicted on the man he loved. 

He ghosted his mouth against his warm skin, first finding the shell of his ear, then the plush flesh of his cheek. It was risky behavior, because they’ve always made a point to be lowkey when out in public, but he was reassured when Frankie thankfully didn't tense up. 

“Tomemos un café está semana?” (Let's go for a coffee this week?)

Santiago whispered the proposition warmly to him when he pulled back and their eyes met for what felt like the first time all damn night. He was sure to subdue the smile he wore, knowing in the back of his mind that Frankie could suspect something if he played this too strong.

Maybe the two beers he drank that afternoon made him less observant, but if Frankie suspected anything, he didn't let it show. His large hands only lingered on Santiago's waist. He gave an easy nod to the question before his dark eyes flicked downward, seemingly to fixate on his throat.  

“Claro, cuando tú quieras.” (Sure, whenever you want.)

It was impossible not to think about the fact that "going for a coffee" used to be their old excuse to sneak off and see each other - when they were both in the army and even when Frankie and Elena were still together. Sometimes it would be just that, a simple coffee and a long talk, but more often than not it was more. 

This time, Santi really only wanted to talk to him. Frankie was so damn good at hiding whatever he had going on inside. Being able to speak one on one - that meant without the boys, without the diner chaos around, without one of the foster cases in tow - would probably be the only way he was going to be able to get anything out of him.

The drive back to his house was short. Just after he ushered Samuel inside and sent him back to brush his teeth and change in to pajamas, his phone began to ring in his pocket. 

With the boy heading off down the hallway, he pulled the device out and made his way into the kitchen. A frown took over his features as he caught Dana's name across the screen.  

Even though he could hear the water running in the hallway bathroom, he kept his voice hushed as he answered.

"Hey, what's up?" 

"Sonia didn't return back to the shelter after curfew last night. Her phone has been going straight to voicemail all day." 

His footsteps froze in the middle of the tiled kitchen floor. Dana sounded angry as she began to rapidly recount what few details she possessed. 

"Even if she did come back, I doubt I can convince the shelter at this point to keep her spot. Not to mention she's also-" 

"No, no, hang on." Santi abruptly cut her off. His mind was racing with the slew of information she just fired at him. He already knew what she was suggesting and he didn't want to hear her voice it out loud. "How many hours has she been gone now? Let's not jump ahead before we know what we're dealing with." 

"Her phone has been turned off all day, Santiago." Dana repeated. "You know what this looks like. I know what this looks like." 

He let out a slow exhale as he tugged off his baseball cap. The faint hum of the fluorescent light over the sink registered in his ears. He tossed his hat onto the counter before his fingers threaded deep into his tangled curls. He began to gingerly pace over the kitchen, making the same brief circuit around his island as he listened to Dana list their options. 

"Listen, it's your call." Santiago cut in once she finished. "But maybe we should just ride out the weekend and give Sonia a chance to come back and explain-"

Just as he rounded the island for the umpteenth time, he caught sight of a small figure standing in the kitchen entryway. It immediately brought his words and movement to a direct stop. 

Samuel's face was unreadable. He stood stock still as he stared at Santiago, the black darkness of the living room just behind him. 

No one moved. No one spoke. 

Fuck.

___________________________________

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[laurelwen]

Jack - Astrological Birth Chart

This post is special and a little different from the posts for Alex and Nigel. I posit that Jack is a new, different person, born out of the events on the night that Nigel died--born out of Nigel's death itself. For Nigel and Alex, I chose their sun sign based on what I felt fit their personalities best, meaning Nigel was born in late February as a Pisces and Alex was born in early April as an Aries. For the rest of their placements, I simply chose signs that COULD exist (Venus and Mercury have to be close to the Sun sign, for instance), but I didn't bother with trying to get an actual birthdate chart. In other words: purely a vibes-based approach.

In this case, I decided to use a very specific day for Jack's birth. We know from the movie that Alex was invited to Nigel's house to attend the death of the Colbies on a Wednesday night at 8 pm. The seasons of the movie are wintery without being date specific. It's never the holidays which kind of rules out December entirely. Technically the snowy weather might be likely to put the final events in January or February, BUT the end of the movie imposes a specific time frame. Alex is leaving the school for good in summer (the trees are not at all autumnal, nor would autumn make sense for his departure). My guess would be late summer, like August. We know that it is 9 months later because the movie tells us so. 9 months before August is November. I felt very strongly that Jack would be a Scorpio. It is likely that he was "born" in the early hours of a Thursday, since Nigel would have had to go through the process of disposing of his parent's bodies which would have taken quite some time.

When I put all this info together to find a likely date for Jack to be "born", I looked at the Thursdays in November. And then I realized that the day the movie was released - November 9, 2006 - was in fact a Thursday. I felt it was too good an opportunity to pass up. So, I pulled up the astrological chart for that day, with a birth time of 3 am. What you see below are those exact placements. This movie (and Jack by extension) has a SHITLOAD of Scorpio energy, and isn't that really quite fitting? How could I resist.

Sun - Scorpio

Scorpios are known for their intensity. They are determined folk that absolutely throw themselves into whatever they do — but getting them to commit to something is rarely an easy task. In fact, it’s better not to even try to “get them” to do anything. Solar Scorpios absolutely have their own mind, and their primary motivation is unlikely to be prestige or even authority -- it’s real power. Their power can absolutely be of the “behind the scenes” variety, just as long as they have it.

Scorpios know what they want, and they won’t go out and grab it at the wrong moment. They simply sit back, watch (quite expertly), and then get it only when the moment is just right. This apparent patience is simply their powerful skills at strategy at work. They will confront the truth about themselves, as well as other people, if it will bring them closer to their goal. This need to face what is going on can come across as provocative or confrontational. Scorpios can appear controversial – even threatening – simply because they are seeking to expose the truth.

Scorpio isn’t afraid of getting their hands (their bodies, their minds) dirty. The darker side of life intrigues them, and they’re always ready to investigate. They often have an uncanny knack for sensing the subtle or hidden undercurrents in a situation. Scorpio is associated with desire, sexuality and release. It also relates to the psychological motivations which underpin human behavior.  They often prefer to sit back to assess others first, watching what they are doing, how and with whom before deciding who it is they can trust. Scorpios tend to be very private people, and even the most extroverted Scorpio will keep certain things strictly to themselves.

They are very intense and have extremely strong feelings, which they find difficult to talk about because they are also very complicated. When they lose their temper, they get extremely angry, and they don't easily forgive the person who caused their fury. For this reason they have ambivalent feelings about many people. On the other hand, if they do love someone, their feeling is very intense.

They are very sensitive and their feelings are easily hurt, but they won't run off and hide if someone hurts them. Instead, they strike back and fight hard. They have a great love of the mysterious and hidden. They also want to know what is going on in people's minds, so they make an effort to learn as much as possible about human nature.

Sun in Scorpio/Moon in Cancer (combined energy)

You rely heavily on feelings and sensations. In disillusionment with mankind, you may turn to the occult and mystic for what you fail to find in more ordinary spheres. In love, too, you express your potent desires and tenacity of purpose. You have so little trust that it is difficult for you to initiate a relationship, but once you entrust yourself to one individual, you are devotedly attached.

Ascendant - Libra

They are likely to be attractive to others and probably popular. Instead of using force of character to persuade people to do something their way, they use charm. They like to dress elegantly, perhaps even flashily. They may develop an early taste for art, music and literature. Driven by a desire to live indulgently, they are usually lured in by a good time. They're natural stars—they know exactly how to have fun.

They may have symmetrical features, the kind that photograph like a dream. Classically beautiful features like dimples, kissable lips and long, elegant fingers can be hallmarks of this rising sing.

Libra is the partnership sign of the zodiac, and it's likely that this person is a serial dater—always needing to be accompanied by someone else as they go through life. The first impression a Libra rising gives off is someone polite, pleasing, friendly and easy to get along with.

Moon - Cancer

Their mother will have a great influence upon their life, shaping their basic attitudes and their ideas of what values are significant and what is worth doing in life. Emotional awareness doesn't necessarily come with an ability to control their feelings. Moodiness certainly IS likely. These silent-but-deadly mood swings can be incredibly unpleasant. Cancer moons can also be incredibly driven—provided the goal appeals to their emotional needs. Because their emotions are such a driving force in their lives, these individuals find it difficult to complete certain tasks if their hearts aren't in it. Similarly, once their passion is ignited, they're nearly unstoppable.

Mercury - Scorpio

These people are on an eternal quest to get to the very heart of any matter. This appears in anything that requires thought, and in almost every conversation they have. Totally fearless when it comes to delving into depths that nobody else wants, or even thinks, to explore, Mercury in Scorpio is adept at learning the source and the core of any problem or issue. They are blessed (or cursed, depending on how you want to look at it) with the observation skills of a surveillance camera, seeming to just see all and know all. Sometimes they can be quite “dark” because of their tendency to focus on the false in order to get to the truth. These people detest superficiality. They come across as suspicious and can annoy other, more optimistic people with their negative take on things.

When they are angry, they can speak very forcefully and their words may hurt someone's feelings. At least they are forthright and say what they mean. Their sense of humor is rather sharp. When they see someone pretending to be more than he or she is, they are likely to make sarcastic and biting remarks. Their intelligence is absolutely instinctive. Strategies are their specialty. Their idea of constructive criticism can be interpreted as destructive criticism, depending on their audience. It can be very hard to win an argument or debate with Mercury in Scorpio. They are absolutely driven to win, not just for the sake of scoring intellectual points, but simply to come out on top in general. Besides that, it is hard to deny that their thinking is really quite lucid, at least in presentation. You may be gritting your teeth, but it will be hard not to concede.

Venus - Scorpio

Their feelings about people are very intense; they either like them very much or not at all. Only deep relationships have any meaning for them. They find it somewhat difficult to tell someone that they like him or her, because they are afraid of being rejected. It is hard to put their feelings into words, because they seem so complicated.

They give you their complete attention. These people are very focused on their partners. Depending on your personality, you may find this unnerving or entirely flattering. They have a strong need to control their partner, although this won’t be immediately apparent, and they may not ever admit to this. Their body-and-soul love and commitment can be so intense that it eclipses fun and makes loving them a very heavy experience. Their emotion and intensity may seem overdone to those looking for a more lighthearted relationship. These people take things to extremes, and can be very provocative.

Pleasing Venus in Scorpio involves demonstrating your complete commitment and loyalty to them. If you can, and they’re deserving, relinquish some of the control in the relationship. Let them feel they own you, without taking it to extremes. Remember, though, that some Venus in Scorpio lovers can and will take advantage of you on a subtle level, if only to keep you all to themselves. Let them have their secrets and their silences.

Deeply passionate relations are desired with Venus in Scorpio. Superficial flirtations and contacts do not satisfy, as they yearn for “body and soul” contact with someone special–contact that breaks the taboos, that is extreme and intense, and that is unforgettable. This is a highly emotional position for Venus. It is a passionate, sensual, and intense energy. Their relationships are immensely important to them, and they may even feel that relationships consume them. In fact, they tend to want to be consumed by them! Although the basic drive is toward intense closeness, blind faith in their partners is extremely hard. Fears of being too vulnerable or of giving up their own power to others is strong. Scorpio is an “all or nothing” energy, and relationships tend to be somewhat of a rollercoaster ride as a result. Disdain for mediocrity and superficiality can compel them to create crises in order to feel alive and vital.

Libra Rising/Venus in Scorpio (combined energy)

Their ruling planet, Venus, is in the willful and passionate sign of Scorpio, suggesting an emotional intensity, a depth of desire and of feeling which is belied by your surface equanimity: you appear mild and conciliatory but possess surprising drive and tenacity, especially regarding your loves. Intimate relationships are not only a tremendously impatient means of fulfillment and self-expression, they are also, for you, a crucible. You have a very exotic and creative force which can turn destructive and negative, bringing you (and others with you) down. Beware of allowing yourself to be ruled by those to whom you have a passionate attachment, and/or of wielding your own attractive powers to manipulate others through their desire for you.

Mars - Scorpio

You have a strong will, and you let everyone know what you want. If someone makes you angry, instead of blowing up right off, you go into a slow burn. People know you are upset, however, because you are likely to make sarcastic and biting remarks. But also the intensity of your anger, even though it is held in, may be rather frightening to others whose emotions are not as strong as yours.

Mars in Scorpio natives love to challenge themselves to do the impossible. They throw themselves into what they decide to do with concentrated energy and awesome willpower. These people make formidable opponents, although often quietly so. They keep their cool and their equilibrium on the surface. Below the surface may be another story, and they are unlikely to easily let you in. Mars in Scorpio has the potential to exploit others–they see through others and rely heavily on their gut feelings.

Mars in Scorpio people are attracted to taboos, and their fantasies may involve blowing the taboos to smithereens! They enjoy scenarios in which the “other” is giving in to them, wants them completely, and will do absolutely anything for them. And, their sexual appeal is strong enough that they generally do get what they want.

These people constantly test themselves, and, often, others. They make all kinds of rules and goals, just for the personal satisfaction that comes from achieving or mastering them. Their survival instincts are strong, and they embrace their own animal nature when they are all alone with themselves, without guilt. These people have a provocative quality to them.

Alex Forbes Birth Chart

Nigel Colbie Birth Chart

[Like Minds Masterpost]

[infini-tree]

ok so... here’s krupp’s house interior recreated to the best of my ability! here’s some comments because i have Thoughts on it.

general

i don’t know what’s in the art book when it comes to krupp’s house. even if it was completely mapped out, it may not even be accurate to the final version seen in movie-- i know at the very least some older concepts where there was evidence of a pet bowl and a cat tower, but i’m not factoring that for obvious reasons.

this is not to scale, so some parts may be off.

fun fact after looking at these screencaps for ages: every part of krupp’s house has a different wallpaper pattern. i think that’s just fun. and it makes things/placement easier to identify! :)

to summarize my thoughts on this house: really, only the living/dining situation is the part i’m the most sure of, and that’s only because they’re confirmed to be next to each other. the placement of everything other room is more out of “common sense” that i’ll explain.

the parts of the house labelled with an asterisk ( * ) are those that are theorized to be there because of logistics. we don’t see a laundry, or hall closets in the boys’ montage, but its there to both fill out space and to be a bit “realistic” in terms of Where Does Krupp Keep His Stuff/Clean His Clothes.

The Closet At The End Of The Hallway is mostly for me as i put it there for sticky notes au reasons. you could easily swap it and where the laundry room is.

the exterior layout seen in the movie is completely disregarded. if it was, then the left half of his house would be gone. that being said, i tried to keep it as completely square as possible. there are a few particular discreprencies i had to contend with i’ll explain in later sections.

dining room / kitchen

i’m skipping the living room because there’s not much to say about it. like harold says, it looks nice! though, a bit empty.

his kitchen/dining situation is wild. typically one would just connect the two rooms directly like you would krupp’s living/dining, but this dining room shot implies that there’s a bit of hallway between the two spaces? it makes it feel a lot more congested than it needs to be. who ok’ed this? is it the same guy who put krupp’s office on the second floor as opposed to the front door? but i digress.

also its extremely extra of him to just have one chair when these sorts of things come in a set.

as for the kitchen itself... its honestly frustratingly vague considering how close the shots associated with it are. 

the shot showing the drawer shows a light source implied to be a window with blinds, but the reverse shot shows that there’s no room on harold’s right to facilitate a window. this is one of those discrepancies i had to either do one or the other for and i just decided to add the window (albeit a small one).

i also added a door leading to the backyard, mostly as a logistics thing. the other neighboring houses have one on the side, so there’s a precedence for it.

bathroom

the shot is pretty self explanatory. i’m not sure if krupp has a shower or a bathtub considering that the frosted glass obscures the view. the height of the porcelain in relation to the toilet makes me think ‘bathtub’, though.

bedroom

also self-explanatory. had to do a bit of gymnastics when formatting the closets to make it not stick out on the floor plan. honestly the most contentious thing about where i placed it is because right outside the bedroom door, the hall might extend to the left. due to the fact hat the boys are right in front of the shot its hard to tell, but i decided on it not being it.

also its a little silly how krupp decorates his own room with what seems to be one of his degrees/principal’s license. even in his home life and doesn’t need to perform it, he’s leaning into the principal identity.