#i need consistently sarah come on

[scarlct-vvitch]

i think my new thing is gonna be saying shit on here that would get me death threats on tiktok. the actoar books are bad

[ariesangelxo]

mornings - part two

MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI

cw: more angst, still no comfort (i promise it’s coming in the next part), heartbreak, one mention of panic attacks, prescription benzo use, recreational coke use, drinking, arguing, mention of a gun and a gunshot at the end, not proofread lol

an: thank u all SO SO much for all of the love on part one !!! i am blown away and in awe. there also will be a part three for sure <3

part three

the past twenty-six days had not been kind to you. your mornings were spent rotting away in bed until your mom would force you to get up, her expression of concern always made you feel even worse. your days weren’t much better, you forced yourself to detach from your heart and numb your emotions. it was the only way you knew how to keep going. you put on a mask during the day with your parents, giving them occasional smiles and laughs that weren’t the kind that warmed their hearts. they knew you weren’t okay, but they also knew they couldn’t force you to talk about it or you’d shut down completely. your nights consisted of taking a benzodiazepine in order to fall asleep, you couldn’t sleep without them. you tried, it only led to intense panic attacks and hysterical sobs that made your mother’s heart break in front of you.

this morning had been a bit different. you were awakened when you felt a weight in your bed, and in the haze of waking up you initially thought it was rafe. you shot up the moment you remembered everything, eyes widening and heart racing, but you looked over to see sarah in your bed. "oh my god, sarah you scared the hell out of me!" you exclaimed, holding a hand over your chest.

she let out a giggle, "i'm sorry, your mom let me in. i miss you," her tone was gentle. you had become very close with sarah during your relationship with rafe. being over at the cameron's house so often led to a beautiful friendship forming between the two of you. she was like a sister to you, something you cherished deeply as you didn't grow up with a sister.

you felt a pang of guilt in your chest at her words. you knew she missed you, she'd messaged you every single day since your break up without fail, even if you didn't always text back. you had seen her a couple times, but when she asked about what happened, you told her you weren't ready to talk about it. sarah was incredibly understanding, knowing how much you loved her brother and not wanting to push you too far.

"i miss you too, sar. i'm sorry i've been such a shit friend lately." you responded to her. you gave her a small smile, curling up next to her as she sat against your headboard.

"it's okay, i know you're not doing great with everything going on right now," she trailed off with a sad smile, "but, you're going out with me tonight!" she became animated as she spoke.

you didn't have it in your heart to deny her, not when she looked at you like you were the most important person in her world. "you know i can't say no to you. where are we going?" you asked curiously.

"there's going to be a huge party at the boneyard, and you're coming with me. no ifs, ands, or buts." she giggled out, "i need to get you out of your room, you're rotting away in here, babe."

"god, you sound just like my mother," you teased back. "i'll go though, i miss you more than you know. i even miss the pogues a bit." you both laughed, referencing her newer relationship with john b.

you couldn't prevent your curiosity from getting the better of you, "how- how has he been?"

sarah bit her lip, debating internally how much to tell you. "he's been... not great. i don't see him much when i'm home, he's usually in his room with the door shut. he's been a lot more moody too, snapping at literally everyone in the house. it probably didn't help that i told him he's an idiot and he fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him."

you couldn't suppress the laugh that slipped through your lips or the slight satisfaction you felt knowing that you weren't the only one struggling. "i love you sar. thank you." you leaned over, giving her a hug.

"i love you too. now get your ass up and shower. we're getting you a new outfit for the party."

you spent the next few hours strolling through the streets of figure eight with sarah. your arms held multiple shopping bags, filled with clothes she insisted you needed for tonight. you were incredibly grateful that she had forced you out of bed, you actually felt human for the first time since everything happened.

you found yourself in a small cafe, giggling as sarah told you a story from one of her drunken adventures with the pogues.

“you know… you should talk to jj tonight. i know he thinks you’re hot.” sarah gave you a mischievous smile as she wiggled her brows.

“funny,” you rolled your eyes playfully at her, “but it’s way too soon for me to get into anything with anybody right now.”

“i didn’t mean start dating him, i just think you would have fun together.”

“i just- i don’t know, sar. i’ve been such a wreck these past few weeks… can i tell you what happened?” you looked up from your fingers to meet her eyes, now widened with shock.

“yeah, of course you can. but don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to.”

you were grateful for her support, going into your explanation of how the last couple months of your relationship, rafe’s behavior changed drastically. sarah hung on to your every word, needing to know exactly what led to the end of your relationship.

“and so i walked into the country club to surprise him. i spent the whole morning getting ready, did my makeup how he likes, even wore a new sundress that i know he would have loved. but i walked in and…” you looked up as your vision began to blur, “he was talking with some bitch i’ve never seen before bartending. she had short brunette hair, but he fucking smirked at her the way he only does- did for me. and- and then, she basically fucking held his hand while she fucked him with her eyes, and he let it happen!”

you spit the words out like they were poison on your tongue, not noticing your voice beginning to raise with frustration. sarah’s jaw was nearly on the floor.

“what the- what the fuck?” she racked her brain, trying to remember if she’d seen anyone matching your description recently, but nothing came to her.

“god, shit. i’m so sorry, babe. i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him.” she attempted to console you as you dabbed your eyes with a napkin.

you shrugged your shoulders, “what’s done is done. i just want to forget about everything for a while.”

she nodded, “then let’s go get ready. we can pregame at yours and ride with john b and them.”

after a few shots, a couple hours spent transforming yourself to not look like you spent the last three weeks trying to cope with your break up, and a lot of laughter, you and sarah were ready to go.

you wore a cropped loosely crocheted white sweater over your pink bikini and a white miniskirt that hugged your hips , the strings from your bottom peaking out from the top of it. you were finally feeling good about yourself again, and you’d be damned if you let anyone ruin it.

the ride to the boneyard only lifted your spirits more. it was impossible not to laugh around the pogues, especially when jj did whatever he could to hear your giggle.

you arrived just as the party was beginning to pick up. relief flooded your veins when you didn’t see rafe anywhere. you knew it was a possibility he’d be here, but it was going to be significantly easier to have a decent night without his presence lingering around.

you filled up a red solo cup at the keg, downing the cheap alcohol before refilling it.

“slow down there, or you might not make it too long.” jj approached you, giving you a flirty smile.

you gave him a laugh in response, “i’ll be fine, jay. i just want to be able to let loose tonight.”

“stick by me then, don’t want any of these pervs creeping on you.” the thinly veiled concern in his voice made you smile. you know he’s flirting, but it’s clear he wants to keep you safe knowing it’s your first night out in so long.

you spent the next hour surrounded by the pogues, and true to his word, jj looked out for you. he did so well that you failed to notice who had shown up to the party, the one and only rafe cameron.

rafe, on the other hand, saw you immediately upon arriving. it was impossible for him not to when your presence demanded his attention. he was not happy to see who you were hanging around with. his ongoing beef with the pogues was well known by everybody on the island. he didn’t come to party though, he had other business to attend to as barry gave him a side eye, “fuck are you doing, country club? you can fight for your girl later, we’ve got shit to do.”

your drink had somehow disappeared. your furrowed your brows as you looked down, giggling to yourself as you told your friends you were going to get another one. you were at the perfect level of drunk, not to the point of blacking out or vomiting, but to where you couldn’t quite walk in a straight line and everything was funny to you.

you stumbled up to the keg, starting to fill up your cup when you felt someone watching you. the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, you instantly knew who it was. it was as though there was a chip in you that alerted you to when he was nearby. you took a deep breath as you turned your head slightly, seeing rafe sat next to a man you didn’t know as he handed a small plastic bag filled with overpriced coke to a touron. rafe’s eyes didn’t leave you as he signaled him to leave.

you could hear your heartbeat in your ears, the hand holding onto your cup now trembling and the lump in your throat building. rafe stood, starting to approach you as you froze. your brain was screaming at you to run but your body refused to move an inch.

“what the fuck do you want, cameron?” your words were spat out with venom. your tone clearly surprised you both as he looked shocked momentarily. you were typically one to stand your ground, but never ever was your attitude aimed towards him.

“what do you mean ‘what the fuck do i want’? you fucking up and left out of nowhere and haven’t spoken to me in almost a month.” his voice was filled with anger, his nose flaring as he clenched his jaw.

you let out a humorless laugh, “out of nowhere? you can’t be serious, rafe. you treated me like shit the last few months of our relationship.” you didn’t yet mention seeing his interaction with the bartender at the country club, not knowing if topper and kelce had told him about seeing you when you left that fateful day.

“what? be-because i couldn’t be with you twenty-four fucking seven? like i- i wasn’t out working my ass off to afford nice shit for you?”

“‘working your ass off’ will you stop fucking lying to me? i fucking saw you at the country club,” his facial expression showed confusion, bringing his brows together to try and understand what you were talking about, “you let that bitch touch you, you looked at her how you used to look at me. i spent hours getting ready, i showed up, wanting to surprise my boyfriend for lunch, and what do i see? my boyfriend letting some bartender hang off of him while he flirts with her?”

your voice had raised as you got more and more angry. you were now shouting at him as other partygoers failed to hide their stares and murmuring. nobody ever talked to the kook prince the way you currently were, unless they wanted their face bashed in.

rafe grabbed your arm harshly, pulling you down the beach and away from others. you stumbled behind him, knowing you weren’t physically or mentally strong enough to push him away.

when you looked up at him, you suddenly noticed his blown-out pupils. you felt your heart sink. “you’re using again.” you stated flatly.

he scoffed, rolling his eyes at you. “don’t act like you fucking care.” he spat out at you.

“jesus fucking christ- rafe, when did you start again?”

“don’t worry about it. when did you come to the country club?” his tone was demanding, sparking further irritation in you.

“the day i left. i- i let a lot of shit slide for too long, because… because i wanted to be a good girlfriend and support you when i thought you were just stressed out from work. and, in return, i get to watch my boyfriend make me look like a fucking idiot.”

rafe was silent for a minute, his lips pursed as he clearly was trying to remember what he was doing before he came home to an angry ward and an empty room. then realization hit him, he knew exactly what you were talking about. he brought his palm up to his face, groaning.

when he was about to speak, he was cut off. “is cameron bothering you?” jj’s familiar voice called out. you looked past rafe’s large figure to see all of the pogues standing beside him, looking ready for a fight if it came to it.

rafe gave a humorless chuckle, “stay the fuck out of it, pogue.” he clearly wouldn’t go down without a fight either.

your heart stopped for a moment and your body filled with ice cold terror as jj pulled out a gun that was hidden behind his back in his waistband. it was clear you weren’t the only one not expecting it as the rest of them looked at jj with concern, john b telling him to put it away. “yeah? let’s fucking go, rafe. been itching for a fight for too long.”

everything became blurred. the mixture of shouting, seeing figures suddenly moving towards each other, and the unmistakeable sound of a gunshot, and then everything went black.

[heaven4lostgirls]

sarah j maas is overall a bad human being consistently acting in ways that negatively impacts minorities and justifying her actions by ways of ‘ignorance’

ACOTAR is not this ‘great’ series of novels that will change the world, most of the content is plagiarized and the most complex of characters are written very surface level.

it is very obvious the books are written from a white woman’s perspective, and is arguably comparable to the writing and idealism of colleen hoover and the author of haunting adeline.

ACOTAR fans cannot sit back and defend this book when they realize how hypocritical and colonialist all of the novels are. the villianisation of tamlin, yet the glorification of rhysand is arguably one of the worst things to come out of the books, similarly with everyone’s excuse that what feyre did in the spring court was ‘excusable’ because tamlin ‘abused’ her.

read the last two posts i reblogged and any of the lovely @sonics-atelier ‘s posts on the critique of the acotar universe before you argue with me. their points are so valid and concise that i was unaware of some of the arguments and criticisms they had delved into.

they are eye opening and so very relevant to current affairs today. i beg if even one or two of you go to read some of these critiques, it would open up discussions about how problematic not only sarah j maas is, but white feminism as a whole, capitalism and colonialism too.

white female authors need to be held accountable to do better, especially those that have big audiences like sarah j maas, colleen hoover and the author of haunting adeline and similar ‘dark’ romance booktok books.

[xveenusx]

Three Seconds

Paring(s): jj maybank x fem!reader

Summary: three seconds is all it takes for things to fall apart

Side note: A lot of my writing is going to be either smut or heavy on the heartbreak lol, very few happy endings

Part 2: And Yet...

———————————————-

One. Two. Three

Three seconds.

One. Two. Three.

Three seconds of silence was all it took for him to completely shut me out. His blonde hair striking against the hue of the sky while his piercing blue eyes stare at me, pleading me to agree.

I opened my mouth to speak yet nothing came out. Instead, a wave of panic spread throughout my body causing an intense feeling of suffocation. My thoughts raced as I realized how serious the situation was.

“We’re sick of your shit.”

“Oh, my shit?” JJ let’s put a humorless laugh before shaking his head.

Kie’s eyes dart to mine before she takes a step towards him, looking at him with such disappointment. “You’re pulling guns on people shit.”

I can tell they’re all waiting for me to jump in, to talk some sense into JJ but for some reason my feet are glued to the floor and my throat is tight and no words are coming out.

Instead, my gaze is locked on the grey duffel bag set at his feet, filled with cash.

Cash that he stole from a drug dealer who had a gun to my head an hour ago.

Anxiety coursed through my veins as my stomach swayed with nausea. I wring my hands together trying to create some type of grounding.

“You need to tell him. Tell him this isn’t what we’re doing.” Pope steps in front of me, his hands gripping my shoulders.

JJ’s gaze was burning a whole right through my head and it took every bit of strength I had to meet his stare head on.

I understood him. Everything he’s ever done, as rash and reckless as he was, there was always a reason. That was something our friends never understood about him, they just played it off as JJ being JJ. This money, as stupid as it was, he needed. It could give him every bit a freedom JJ needed away from his dad.

Luke was cruel and uncaring. Consistently spitting venom at him, reminding of how disappointing and useless JJ is. So, I understand. I would have taken the money too if it gave me some peace away from home.

Sarah and Kie, as sweet and loving as they are, will never understand. They were born Kooks, had homes on figure 8 with parents who love them. They didn’t need this money, but we did. And yet, I knew he couldn’t take the money. We were entering entirely knew territory with gold and guns and there was no certainty that we would be safe.

Barry knew exactly who we were. The moment he pulled the gun, the nuzzle pointed directly at JJ, the boy I’ve been in love with since I was 14, all color drained from my face. My body trembled in fear as I let out a shout and reached for him but Barry switched positions. Suddenly, the gun was pressed against my temple as he shouted demands. But for a brief moment, there was a sense of relief because it was no longer on JJ and I could breathe again. This feeling, this sickening choking panic, I don’t ever want to feel again.

The cut was a small place and if not taking the money meant JJ would be safe then it was a small price to pay. But, I know him. I know he’s not going to understand how I see it but rather take it as a betrayal.

One. Two. Three.

JJ says nothing as his eyes rake over every inch of my face. Three seconds was all it took for him to completely close off.

That choking panic I mentioned earlier? Came back tenth-fold as it finally clicked.

“Jayj…” I reached out to touch his arm, the bracelets I gave him mockingly dangling from his wrist as he jerks away from me.

“Don’t.”

My chest tightened as I drew my hand back, fumbling with my fingers nervously.

JJ ripped his hat off his head before roughly running his hand through his hair. He started to pace, twisting the hat in his hands before stopping in front of all of us.

My heart ached at his obvious distress but I knew my input was the last he wanted now. As far as he was concerned, I didn’t care about him.

Pope let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re acting like a maniac-“

“Pope, I took the fall for you man. Do you know how much money I owe because of you?”

“I’m going to pay you back. I didn’t ask you to do that.”

“I just did. I just did pay it back. “ JJ takes a step forward, pressing his palms on Pope’s chest, shoving him back. “Right here, right now, by myself.”

“Let’s just calm-“ JJ’s glare stopped me in my tracks. He regarded me coldly, his face giving nothing away to the storm that raged in his ice blue orbs.

“Oh what? You suddenly decide you have something to say? Where were you five fucking minutes ago?”

I swallowed hard. “Can I please just explain-“

“Explain what? The fact that you know I need this money and you’re going to act like this is some big moral issue, ” JJ kept his hard set gaze on me, drilling holes into me, daring me to move. “How did you like having a gun pointed at you, huh?”

“You mean the same gun that I stepped in front of because seeing it pointed at you nearly made me sick to my stomach?” I spat, shaking my head at him.

This wasn’t fair. He didn’t get to do this to me. Not now.

He said nothing to me, instead he turned his gaze to the Twinkie, twisting his ring around his finger anxiously.

“JJ, you take this money, you open the door for a whole lot of other shit. You think Barry’s just going to let you take it?”

“Listen to your girlfriend, man.” John B stepped up, clapping JJ on the back.

JJ shrugged him off as he took three quick steps towards me, forcing me to tilt my head up at him.

“What girlfriend?” He spat, his eyes darting in between mine, before settling into a sick satisfaction at my sharp in take of breath.

“JJ-“

“You know what?” He stated, bending down to grab the duffel. “I’m going to go off by myself.”

“You don’t get to do this shit.” I snapped as I reached for the duffel and tugged it towards me. “You want to treat me like shit? Fine, I dont care as long as I don’t find you dead in a ditch.”

JJ blinked at me and said nothing. The only thing giving away his emotion is the tightened grip on the bag.

“Go, then. Since you’re so eager to leave, but you’re not taking the money.” My breath came out short as the anger pounds through my blood.

“Or what? You’re gonna stop me? Last time I checked, I didn't need a god damn hang on.” I wince at the anger in his voice and fight the urge to shut down.

"Stop acting like you don't care , JJ. "

“I expected this from them, but never you.” His ring covered fingers danced along my chin, before he gripped it tightly forcing my eyes on him. “You were supposed to have my back. You told me that you got me, that you understand me. All I know now is that you a fucking liar.”

“I’m trying to protect you.” I plead, “Why can’t you see that?”

JJ scoffs, “Protect me? What do you think is gonna happen if I don’t pay back the restitution?”

“We can find another way-“

“I DONT have anything else.” He shouted in my face, his façade finally cracking under the pressure. “What don’t you understand? This is all I fucking have.”

I felt my grip on the bag weaken as I processed his words. It was normal for JJ to lash out when he felt cornered, but it was never directed at me.

My body trembled as I stared at him with a look I can only describe as broken. “You have me.”

I spoke the words softly knowing if I spoke any louder, the shake in my voice would give me away.

One. Two. Three.

Three seconds was all it took for him to completely and utterly break me.

“That’s not enough.”

Whatever fight I had left, fled from my body as my fingers let go of the duffel. I bit the inside of my cheek, fighting back the tears that threaten to escape.

“You win, JJ.”

My eyes slowly traced every part of his face. From the sun grazed blonde strands that laid in a messy heap on his head, to the bronze tan arms from spending hours out on the waves that complimented his bright blue eyes.

I waited for what felt like hours, but was a mere moment, for JJ to take it back. For him to apologize and pull me into his arms. Instead, we just stared at each other, no one saying a word.

Then, he tilted his head turned around and left, leaving what felt like a blazing trail of carnage in his wake.

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of my body. Small hands wrap themselves around me as my legs suddenly feel like they’ve been kicked out from under me. The familiar sweet scent of Sarah filled my nose, as she pulled me into her arms, physically holding me up.

[fruitbasketball]

Do you think uconn wbb has a genuine chance at getting the NATTY? I really want them to win. Especially since it's been years and paige is not staying another year. What do you think their biggest challenge/obstacle would be? And who would you put in the starting five lineup?

Sorry, girl, I just don't have anyone to talk to this about.

i truly believe that uconn has the ability to win a national championship this year if this current roster stays healthy.

i’m not just saying this bc of my loyalties - i genuinely believe it. last season, i told y’all sc would get the natty and it didn’t matter who met them in the championship game - the chip was theirs without a doubt. imma keep it a buck now, too; uconn can go all the way

their biggest obstacle is 100% going to be experience. obviously some other schools struggle with their core not having played that many full seasons of college basketball (booker and harmon at texas, miles and hidalgo at notre dame, juju is still a sophomore at usc) but it’s different when kaitlyn chen is going to be the most experienced player on the court and she’s spent the rest of her career playing for an ivy league school. she hasn’t had the kind of non con schedule or tournament run that a player like paige has had - and paige has only played 2 full years of college ball.

it’s something you really miss with nika and aaliyah being gone - footwork in the post that only comes with time, the way nika can play such smart defense and will herself away from fouling out, the chemistry the two of them had on the court with paige; all of it boils down to experience.

starting lineup:

pg: chen

sg: fudd

sf: bueckers

pf: strong

c: el alfy

i’ve been iffy about starting sarah, but i went back and watched her high school stuff. that girl is a consistent big who has a 3 point shot. i can see geno putting ice at the 4 if he wants that experience factor and to balance out the frontcourt, but i only see aubrey coming off the bench. she’s such a huge spark plug - great at coming into the game and assessing exactly what she needs to do to get her team the win.

i got uconn all the way tho

[lacroixwh0r3]

The First Taste (p.2)

DBF!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: It's the second day at the lake and you meet some people that live in the neighborhood.

Warnings: SMUT!!! DUB CON (sorta? Just gonna leave it to be safe), heavy sexual tension, pet names, age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is 21), masturbation (F and M), voyeurism, daddy kink, dom!Joel, Joel is a perv and an asshole, cursing, Bill, Frank, and Tess appearance, use of Y/N (1x), jealousy, degradation, no outbreak

Song inspo (feel free to read if you want): Skin by Mac Miller

PART 1 PART3

A/N: I am sooo sorry for taking so long with this one, life has been crazy and weird, but I already have plans for the next part hehe. Also, this is probably all over the place...I wrote some parts of this high lol

Please share, comment, like, and reblog...enjoy my pookies!<3

Trying to act normal around Joel was a bit of a struggle for you.

It was the second day of the trip and he was completely normal during breakfast—he laughed and joked with everyone, seeming a little more lively than the day before. It didn't seem like he had seen or heard anything last night. And if he did, he was being very closed—lipped about the whole thing, which you were grateful about that because you'd probably die from embarrassment.

Sarah had done the honors of waking up early and making breakfast this morning, which consisted of pancakes and eggs. It was something simple and everyone enjoyed it, meanwhile, you could hardly touch your plate. Not because the food wasn't good, but because you were too occupied with staring at Sarah's dad, the man you had fantasized about the night before. It seemed that no one was even paying attention so you assumed that no one would notice your lingering eyes.

Unbeknownst to you, Maria had quickly caught onto your crush on the older Miller brother, yet she never said anything. Not even to Tommy, her husband. She sat there quietly as she watched you watching him. She really thought nothing of it other than a simple crush and from what she could tell from Joel's stoic attitude, the feelings were not mutual. However, Maria didn't know that Joel was beginning to grow a desire for you—he could hide it better than you.

You were glad that Sarah has been too busy typing away on her phone to even pay attention.

“Y’all had fun last night?” Joel asked as he peered over at the three that went out last night, but mainly looking over at Maria. 

Joel was interested in their night, but he also knew how Tommy was after a few drinks. After Tommy and Maria had gotten married, it was obvious that he matured, but he still had his moments.

“It was lots of fun—there was good live music and good drinks there,” Maria said to him as the other two just nodded their heads in agreement.

"We actually ran into Bill and Frank while we were there, they were with a friend...what was her name again?" Tommy asked as he tried to recall the unknown woman's name.

Joel didn't know much about Bill and Frank outside of the fact that they were married and lived next door. During the very brief encounter with the two yesterday, he could tell that Frank was the outgoing one out of the two and Bill was more reserved and not too keen on strangers—Joel didn't blame him, he was the same way too.

"Her name was Tess." Your father reminded Tommy as he took a quick sip of his coffee.

"Right, it was Tess!" Tommy said before speaking up again, "I think you'd like her, Joel...she's your type." he said slowly to his older brother.

This instantly piqued everyone's interest—Sarah's head had snapped up from her phone, while your eyebrows raised with surprise. Joel didn't need any convincing because he instantly shook his head after Tommy said that, letting him know that he wasn't interested.

"Oh come on, Dad!"

"You can't be serious."

"Joel!"

With these responses from Sarah, your dad, and Tommy at the same, Joel scowled at them. Meanwhile, you just sat there silently as you picked at the food on your plate with your fork. For some reason, you were happy that Joel had turned down Tommy's suggestion.

"Tommy is right, Joel, I think you and her would get along well and she's beautiful," Maria shrugged at Joel. "You should meet her and get to know her first."

He hadn't dated in a very long time and hadn't been interested in dating either. He decided that he would agree to get everyone off his back

"Fine, I'll meet her," Joel said as he put his head down and looked up at you. From the corner of Joel's eyes, he can see his daughter and Tommy high-five each other from across the table, while you looked at him with an unreadable expression.

You didn't think that he would agree that easily, but it didn't matter. You couldn't get jealous over someone who isn't yours.

"Great! Tommy and I will go over there to invite them over for this evening and we'll be sure to tell them to invite Tess," Maria winks at Joel.

Before Joel could respond, he was interrupted by Sarah's phone. it began to blow up with messages by the second. Sorry—she said as tried to silence it until eventually, the person called her, making her answer the phone before telling the person on the other line to hold on. Joel was about to scold her until she cut him off, "I gotta take this, I'll be right back. Girl problems!" she tells him with a sheepish expression as she hopped off her chair and started to loudly to talk to the person on the phone as she walked up the stairs to her room.

You all heard her yell into the phone to her friend about some boy before her words became intelligible. You stifled your laugh as you watched the look of defeat washed over Joel's face and he shook his head.

"That girl," Joel whispered, making everyone at the table laugh a bit. When he heard you laugh, he looked at you with a cocked eyebrow, and you did the same.

The split moment between the two of you was briskly intervened by your dad.

"What did you two get into last night?"

You were about to make up some bullshit lie about what you had done last night before you stopped yourself and began to internally freak out because you remembered that Joel caught you smoking weed yesterday and he could easily tell your dad right now if he wanted to. You looked over at Joel with silent pleading eyes not to tell your dad what he saw, but he just looked at you with a blank stare as he proceeded to answer your dad's question.

"Nothing really, I think this one found out there's a balcony connected to her room, you should ask her about it," Joel said before finishing the rest of his food on his plate as he looked over at you. You felt everyone turn their attention to you, making you feel like your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest after Joel said that.

"Oh yeah? How was it, honey?" Your dad asked.

You felt like you had the words guilty written across your forehead, lying was not your strongest suit. You looked around the table and gulped down your spit, noting how amused Joel looked as he watched you become a nervous wreck.

You realized how insane you must've looked at that moment and cleared your throat before speaking up, "it was cool," you said in a composed manner.

"It was just 'cool'?" Your dad asked you, confused by your short response.

There you go again, embarrassing yourself in front of Joel.

"I mean the view was really nice from there, I liked it a lot," you shrugged. Your dad let out a hum, letting you know he was a little more satisfied with your response, making you relax. You looked over at Joel to see him looking at you with a discreet smug look on his face.

...

You had eventually finished their breakfast, to which Joel offered to wash everyone's dishes. Your dad got up from the table with a groan as he grumbled about going to the couch to rest for a bit, while Tommy and Maria headed over to Bill and Frank's house.

You decide to help Joel bring the dishes over to the sink.

"I can help you with that," You tell Joel as placed the mugs down and stood next to him by the sink, grabbing the drying towel that sat on the counter before looking up at him

"I got this, darlin'. You go sit and relax yourself," he said reassured you, yet you made no attempt to move. You shamelessly checked out Joel, watching as he focused on the dish, not even sparing you a glance. He could feel your gaze on him, but he said nothing to you. You peaked down and saw as he gripped the plate with his strong hand as the other rubbed the soap around the plate, the suds were dripping down his wet hand.

You pushed whatever thoughts that were about to appear in your head and looked back up at Joel. "It's fine, Joel. You wash, I'll dry," You tell him. He stops scrubbing before looking back at you, letting out a sigh, and going back to what he was doing.

You said nothing to him as you dried the dishes and Joel said nothing to you as well. There was this weird, awkward tension that lingered between you two. You got a feeling that Joel wanted to say something, he was just waiting on the right time to say it. You decided to break the silence first.

"Thanks for-um-for not saying anything to my dad, by the way,"

"That was nothing, sweetheart. Didn't wanna get you in trouble," was all he said. You weren't sure what to say after that so it went back to being silent.

Joel rinsed off the plate then passed it to you before clearing his throat and speaking up. "So, uh, how'd you sleep last night?" He asked you lowly and passed the plate to you. As you open your mouth to respond and go to reach for the plate, your body stills and your words get stuck in your throat. You had registered what he had said to you.

He was so casual with his words; to anyone else in this house, it didn't seem like anything, it was just Joel asking about you. However, you both knew there was a deeper meaning.

Joel new favorite thing was making you flustered-saying things to you that would catch you off guard and just leaving you hanging. He absolutely loved it.

"Oh come one, sweetheart, I asked you a question. It would be rude not to answer me," he said teasingly as he pushed the plate toward you some more so that you could take it.

You slowly reach for it as you watched him from the corner of your eyes, afraid to even turn your head to him. "I-I slept pretty well. Wha-what about you?" You asked him. You were nervous as hell and you could feel your hands shaking, so you decided to start drying the wet plate in your hand to cover it up.

"Me too, sweetheart," he said to you. You thought that was going to be the end of that conversation, but no, he kept going. "You know what though?" He asked you before turning to face you, got close, and bent his head down slightly to catch your eyes, but never did because your eyes were laser-focused on the now dry plate in your hand. You could feel his warm body close to yours.

"I was sitting on that balcony last night and heard some strange noises comin' from your room, had t'make sure you were alright before I went to bed." He said as he began to speak you again, "but I'm sure you were too busy to notice, right, darlin'?"

Kill me, you thought to yourself, just fucking kill me.

He was right, you were too busy too notice, but you refused to admit that to Joel. Just as you were about to lie to him again, you think back to the night before when he had called you out on lying to him about smoking.

You sat the plate down with the other plates and looked up at Joel, "I don't know what you're talking about," you say innocently as you turn your head to look at him and gave a tight, faux smile, which he returned as well.

This motherfucker.

"Mmm, I'm sure you don't, sweetheart." He says before the phony smile dropped from his face as he got closer to you. Your eyes flicker over to where your dad was sitting, making sure that he didn't see what was going on, before going back to Joel's dark ones.

"But I know what I saw when I looked in that room. I saw the way you fingering that wet cunt, moaning my name," he whispered to you menacingly. You suddenly feel his damp finger gliding across the back of your arm, causing goosebumps to spread around your body. You tried to move put some distance between the two of you, but he followed. "Cummin' all over those fingers while you thought of me."

There is no way your dad's friend is admitting that he watched you finger fuck yourself, while you moaned his name at that. It didn't feel real to you.

You had yet to say anything back to Joel, so he kept going. "Made me cum so hard in my hand. I couldn't help myself, you looked so perfect touching yourself." Instantly, you gasped loudly before looking over at your dad again, and luckily he wasn't paying a lick of attention. The sound of the running water must've covered it up.

Joel's confession should've disgusted you, but it didn't—in fact, it turned you on a lot. Some sick part of you liked that he jerked off while watching you.

Finally, you had gotten the courage to speak up. "You're a sick fucking bastard, Joel," you told him as you push his arm from you and your face scrunched with false disgust. "A sick pervert," You spit out at him as you turn your body to him and point close to his face.

You refused to feed his ego, which was already inflated.

Your words did nothing to him, not even a little bit. "Oh, honey..." he said as his large hand rested on your lower back, "You were the one moanin' my name last night, but I'm the pervert? Now that ain't fair," Joel smirked.

You scoff before you speak again. "Get your hands off me now before I tell my dad."

Instead of letting you go, Joel pulls you into his body, making your hands come up to his chest so you can push away. Still, he didn't budge and kept pulling you closer to the point you could feel the hardness of his cock against your stomach.

What a sick man he is.

"Do it, baby, and I'll tell 'em all about what I saw and heard last night," he says as his hand drifts down to get a quick squeeze of your ass.

"You liked thinkin' about me fuckin' you? Makin' you squirm while you cum all over my fat cock." He whispered. You saw how Joel's eyes darkened with desire as he said this. Truthfully, it was giving you a strong indescribable feeling deep down in your stomach, reaching your core.

For a brief moment, the disgusted expression on your face faltered, your eyes had batted open and shut, and you let out a shaky sigh as you looked up at Joel—hopeful that he hadn't seen your quick moment of weakness. Except, he did. You looked back up at him only to see him deeply observing your face with a small smirk on his face as if he had just accomplished something great.

"You liked that?" He asked you cockily with his hand still resting on your ass. You just rolled your eyes at him as you tried to push yourself away from him a second time. "You like it when I talk to you like that?"

You didn't even have to answer him because he already knew the answer.

"You need to let me go before someone catches us, Joel," You tried to change the subject, but this only made his smirk bigger.

"Aw come on, sweetheart, no one is gonna see us," Joel insisted before looking over at your dad. "They're all doin' their own thing

His actions after this had caught you off guard.

You can feel his big hand trail up your body, while his other one still rested on your ass to keep you close to him; going from the back of your waist to the front and going up to your breasts, giving them a quick, firm squeeze as he cupped them over your shirt. You whimpered as you looked down at the sight between you and looked back up at him.

Joel's hand moved up again, but this time he wrapped his fingers around your neck. He loved the softness of your neck against his rough calloused hand.

His long fingers flexed around your neck, growing firmer as he held your face up at an angle just under your jaw as he bent down. "Or I can take you upstairs if you want..." Joel's grip tightened some more. "Make sure to take my time with you, darlin'," He said as your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head. Not because of his hand around your throat—Joel made sure he wasn't choking you to death, but because of his words.

Joel had this seductive nature about him and it was obvious that he knew how to use it to his full advantage. He could probably get you to do anything he wanted.

Fuck—you couldn't believe that you were actually thinking about saying yes to Joel after the way he spoke to you. But again, there was some sick part of you that got a kick out of the way he spoke to you. You weren't exactly sure what it was about Joel that you allowed him to speak to you this way, but if this were anyone else, you were sure that you would have absolutely freaked out on them.

"Fuck, Joel," you whined as you felt him inhale the scent of your perfume that you spritzed a little below your ear earlier this morning.

"Mmm, you smell so good, baby, just wanna taste you," He murmured, taking in your scent. His mouth was so close to your neck, you wanted him to place his plush lips onto it. You wanted to feel the prickly feeling of his facial hair on your neck while he sucked, licked, and kissed it.

"Sweetheart!" You heard your dad call out, instantly pulling you out of the half-conscious state that Joel had you in. Your eyes shot wide open as quickly pushed Joel away from you, making release your neck and causing him almost fall to the ground as he stumbled back. Shit—he cursed out as he caught himself. You really didn't mean to push him that hard, but you were deathly afraid of your dad catching sight of his closest friend choking his daughter behind his back.

"Uh-yeah? I mean, yes, dad?"" You said as you scrambled to fix your clothes and make yourself seem as normal as possible. The adrenaline rush made you feel like your heart was damn near beating out of your chest and made your hands shake with fear.

"Y'all still ain't done with the dishes yet?" He asked, making you tried to voice out some lame excuse, but was unable to. Instead, all you could do was make these odd sounds.

"Anyway, you don't mind gettin' me a glass of water, do you? This damn headache won't go away," he groaned out. You felt relief at the fact that he couldn't hear the nervousness in your voice.

"N-No, I'll-uh-get it for you in a sec," You told him as you looked over at Joel. He just looked at you with a faint worrisome expression on his face—his breathing was just as hard. You gave him an apologetic look before getting the glass of water for your dad.

You made no attempt to look at Joel as you brushed past him, you were too ashamed to look his way. Your hand was still trembling as you walked over to your dad, who was sprawled out on the couch, and handed him the water.

"Here you go,"

"Thanks, sweetheart!" He gave you a weak smile before downing the water, to which you returned as well. You plopped down next to your dad on the large couch as you heard Joel shut the water off in the kitchen and shuffled his way up the stairs.

You sat there feeling guilty as your dad talked to you about whatever was on his mind.

Even though you and Joel didn't go all the way, it still wasn't right to think of him in that way or allow him to do those things to you. You decided that you were going to stop thinking about joel for good.

...

Bill and Frank were great, though Frank was a little more lively. The moment you greeted them Frank gave you a quick side hug with a bright smile on his face, which caught you be surprise, and Bill just stood awkwardly next his husband as he introduced himself to everyone.

And then there was Tess.

You along with Sarah watched the painful sight in front of you as her and Joel introduced themselves to each other. You tried not to listen to their conversation, but you were curious and you couldn't help it. They barely speaking a word to each other besides saying their names and where they were from, which made you a little happy because it meant Joel wasn't interested.

Thank god.

"Well, that was a fail," you heard Sarah say not-so quietly, making you let out a chuckle.

Then Tess came over to us, making you both straighten up. From the moment you met her, she was nothing but nice to you and Sarah. She introduced herself to the two of you, smiled, and shook your hands.

"I'm Sarah, Joel's daughter," Sarah beamed at her.

"It's nice to meet you, Sarah," Tess smiled warmly at the young girl before turning to you, "And what's your name, sweetheart?" She asked. Her calling you sweetheart caught you by surprise honestly.

"Oh, i'm Y/N...that man right there is my dad," you said as you pointed to your father who was a little behind Tess, making her laugh a bit.

"Well, it's lovely meeting you as well." She softly stroked your arm, causing you to tremble with nervousness. Just as she finished her sentence, your dad and Tommy suggested that all the older adults go and hang out in the back while there was still light, to which they all agreed.

"Hopefully I'll catch up with you girls later?" she asked. Sarah and you just nodded your head before she gave the two of you one last smile before walking to the back.

That was weird, you thought for a moment.

"Tess seems nice," you said now that the house was completely silent, making Sarah nod her head in agreement.

"Yeah, she did, too bad my dad didn't seem interested in her," she shook her head, "anyway, what do you wanna do now that it's just us?"

"Mmm," You tried to think about what you could do with her, "I think Maria has some cookie dough in the fridge, you wanna bake cookies and play card games?" You asked the young girl.

"Sure!"

The two of you walked to the kitchen—you grabbed the cookie dough from the fridge and the baking sheet from the bottom cabinet. "You mind preheating the oven?"

Sarah walked over to the oven before staring at it, confused on how to use it. "Um, I think you're gonna have to do it. I'm not sure how to even work this thing," she turned to you.

You let out a giggle as you go to preheat the oven. After you did that, you stood next to Sarah as you both began to place cookies onto the baking sheet.

"You know we're gonna have to make a lot, right?" Sarah giggles out.

"And why is that?"

"My dad is obsessed with chocolate chip cookies," She confessed to you, "he'd probably eat them all if you let him."

This made you laugh.

Joel Miller liking chocolate chip cookies came to somewhat as a surprise to you. He didn't seem like the type to enjoy sweets, but according to his daughter he did and you found it cute.

Once you two had finished putting the last pieces of cookie dough on the sheet, you picked it up and went to open the oven. "Can you put on a time for 15 minutes, please?" You asked her as you place them into the oven.

"Sure," Sarah then began the timer for the cookies right as you closed the oven.

"So what was up with that phone call you got earlier? Sounded pretty serious," you asked her as you sat down at the island next to her.

Sarah lets out a loud sigh before talking, "where do I even start," she groaned. She began to tell you all about the drama amongst her friend group—supposedly, her best friend, Lillian, got with their ex-best friend's current boyfriend and now it's a whole situation. Sometimes you would ask a question or even give your two cents about the situation.

"And you wanna know the kicker to all this? Him and Lillian used to date last year and our ex-best friend got with him while they were dating, so we kicked her out the friend group," Sarah tells you. As soon as you let out a dramatic gasp, the alarm for the fifteen minutes had went off.

You got up and went to the oven, "wait, why would Lillian get back with him again? That doesn't seem smart," You say as you grab the mits from the countertop and took the cookies out the oven.

"I don't know," Sarah sighs out, you couldn't help but to laugh at her frustration at the situation.

Teenagers are so funny.

"You guys are crazy," You tell her as you, "You should tell your friend to leave him alone, he seems like bad news,"

"I have, but she doesn't listen," Sarah said in a disappointed tone.

You just shrugged your shoulders, "cookies are done, we just gotta let them cool for a bit,"

Just as you were letting the cookies cool down, Sarah asked you about your high school experience. You began to tell her all about it—your friend group was small and you mostly stayed to yourself throughout the whole time there. You made sure to focus on your school work rather than getting wrapped up in the silly drama or with boys.

Bill walks into the house and asked where the bathroom was, which you point him to the direction where it was and he went on with his business.

A few minutes later, as you and Sarah were munching on the soft chocolate chip cookies, Bill comes back from the bathroom, "It smells delicious in here," he mumbles as he makes his way to the door.

"You can have some if you would like, Bill? We made sure to make enough for everyone," You told him as you give him a small smile.

"I shouldn't," he said reluctantly, but you quickly reassured him that he could have some if he wanted.

"Well if you insist," Bill grabs a napkin before taking two cookies and said a low thanks as he made his way outside with them.

"I bet they're all gonna come in here to get cookies," Sarah laughs as she finished up her cookie.

And she was right.

They all eventually crowded into the kitchen around the island as they devoured the cookies, nearly eating them all. In between their chews, they spoke loudly to each other.

You tried to engage in with conversation with them, but you were too busy watching Joel. You watched as he had his right arm wrapped loosely around his daughter's shoulders while the other one brought cookies up to his mouth—he looked relax right now.

And sexy too.

You didn't see that Tess was next to you until she spoke up.

"Thank you for the cookies by the way, they were really good," She said to you with a kind smile on her face as she looked at you. Her eyes lingered on your face for a little

"Oh-thanks! I-It was nothing really, we were just really bored and needed something to do," You laughed awkwardly, squirming with nervousness. You couldn't even make eye contact with her while speaking to her.

Tess made you feel nervous in ways that you couldn't describe. Not as nervous as Joel makes you, but close.

"No problem, sweetie,"

...

You were starting to fucking hate this.

Sitting here and pretending to not be affected by watching Joel flirt with the hot, older woman made you want to flip your shit.

You hated to admit it, but your dad and Tommy was right—Tess absolutely was Joel's type. She's hot, smart, a tough woman, yet she was kind, and most importantly, she is close in age to Joel. She was also kind of like the female version of Joel.

At first, there was this awkward tension between Tess and Joel that was almost hilarious to you, but it quickly dissolved as the evening progressed and the drinks began going, making it no longer funny to you.

You had to remind yourself that you decided to back off of Joel that morning, but whatever was happening between the two quickly made you forget about it.

After a little while of being around them in the kitchen after baking the cookies, you sat down on the couch to unwind for a bit. However, that quickly ended when Joel and Tess decided to join on the couch right across from you.

While everyone was still sitting around the kitchen island, listening to music and laughing, you were sipping on your beer and looking at them with no expression on your face.

You didn't even like beer, you just needed something to drink on right now.

Joel was relaxed as he spoke to her, with his muscular thighs spread wide open as he held onto the beer in between them while the other arm rested on the head of the couch. He looked so relaxed and comfortable talking to her.

Sometimes, your eyes would sweep down his body, causing you to catch sight of his pants-covered bulge. You weren't going to lie and say that you weren't looking because you absolutely were.

Next to him was Tess, she sat closely to him with her legs folded up on the couch as she faced Joel, giving him her undivided attention. They both spoke in hushed whispers to each other, occasionally letting out some laughs.

She looked so beautiful as she sat there attentively listening to Joel as she gave him a smirk and flipped her long hair to the side, giving him a view of her neck.

God, you hated how jealous this made you.

And the worst part of this all is that he hadn't given you an ounce of attention since she got here. Ever since the incident in the kitchen this morning, he was distant and didn't pay you any mind—matter-of-fact, Joel just pretended that you didn't exist and that made you even more mad. Whenever you were around, he would avoid eye contact with you.

While you were staring down Joel and Tess, Sarah had suddenly appeared next to you as she plopped down on the seat next to you.

"You alright?" She asked you as you took another sip of your beer. "You look pissed right now."

Was it that obvious? If Sarah can notice the look on your face, that meant so did everyone else.

"Oh, me? I'm good, just some boy problems back at college," You lied to Sarah so she wouldn't know the real reason you looked mad.

Okay—was all she said to you, sounding unconvinced, but didn't push any further.

"My dad and Tess look pretty comfortable now," She leaned over and whispered to you. "Never seen him this way with a woman before,"

Honestly, this didn't seem surprising to you at all.

From the way Joel seemed reluctant to even get to know Tess earlier and the awkwardness when she had gotten here made it very apparent to you. Had you not seen any of this, you would've thought that he was quite the ladies man from the way he spoke to you whenever the two of you were alone.

"Interesting," was all you said as you took a sip of your beer again.

"Anyway, you wanna go to my room and watch a movie?" Sarah asked. "I'm gettin' bored of them already," You laughed and nodded your head in agreement and began to get off the couch, still watching the two across from you. Still, Joel continued to talk to the lady without even spairing you a glance.

You let out a scoff and roll your eyes as you make your way to the steps to go upstairs.

Fuck Joel.

...

It was getting late and Sarah eventually fell asleep a some time after you started the second movie. She was knocked out cold. You were tired as well, but not fully tired to the point that you were ready for bed—you didn't feel like hanging out with everyone down stairs and you didn't feel like seeing Joel and Tess all over each other either so you decided to go to your room for the night.

Before quietly slipping out of Sarah's room, you made sure to put the blanket over her and turn off the tv. Afterwards you brushed your teeth and changed into your pajamas, which was just a tank top and your underwear, before getting into bed.

For a while, you laid in the dark and scroll through Instagram while you blasting music through your headphones. You were tired, but not fully tired to the point that you were ready for bed—you didn't feel like hanging out with everyone down stairs and you didn't feel like seeing Joel and Tess all over each other either.

You suddenly felt the vibrations of a door slamming shut and heard the muffled sounds as well, making you yank your headphones off. It almost scared you to death.

You waited a moment to hear for any sounds that might follow up after. It was silent for the most part besides the sound of Joel's heavy footsteps next door, he must be getting ready for bed. You also assumed that Bill, Frank, and Tess had went back to their place because you didn't hear the music playing downstairs anymore or the sound of them talking loudly.

You were about to put your headphones back on until you heard Joel start to talk. You thought that he must've been on the phone or talking to himself until you heard the tone of a females voice—it was Tess. You couldn't make out what they were saying, but you hear them talking back and forth to each other.

At this point, you were holding your breath as you tried to eavesdrop, completely interested as to what they were doing in Joel's room together.

Joel must've said something funny to Tess because she laughed fairly loud at whatever he said.

He isn't that funny, you begrudgingly thought to yourself.

One of them flopped down on the bed, causing the bed to creak and the headboard hit against the wall. And because the beds were on the same wall, you could hear almost everything. They continued to talk for a while until it went completely silent and the bed creaked again.

You didn't want to jump to conclusions because you weren't sure what was going on in that room and you and Joel aren't anything so it really shouldn't matter to you. You also felt weird sitting there in the dark, snooping on Joel and Tess so you decided to try and get some sleep.

You readjusted in the bed and closed your eyes—occasionally tossing and turning because it felt like there was a million thoughts going through your mind right now.

Your eyes snapped open when you heard faint sounds of the bed screeching and the headboard thumping against the wall. The sounds were unbroken until Tess lets out a low moan, causing the noise to come to an abrupt stop and Joel shushes her.

He was fucking her and you were hearing it.

Joel says something to her and the noise continues again, this time it was a little fast. Your heart was beating against your chest just as fast, if not faster. The sound of your heart beating almost muted the sounds of Joel and Tess fucking.

Joel's grunts got a little louder as Tess lets out a few fucks here and there along with a couple moans. You listen closely to the plap-plap-plap sound that were smothered by the wall.

There's no way that you were the only one hearing this because they were not quiet.

It probably would've been best if you put your headphones back on, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. There was something about it that made you furious, yet aroused. It shouldn't have, but it did and so much to the point that you felt a throb begin to form at your core.

You needed to relieve the ache somehow and suddenly this bright idea popped into your head. You slipped your underwear off and threw them somewhere off the bed before grabbing a pillow as you get onto your knees on the bed and tucked in the sides a bit, and straddled it.

You began to steadily rocking your hips back and forth, feeling your folds grind against the pillow and the wetness spreading as you became increasingly wet, as you tried to match the pace. Quiet whimpers escaped your mouth though you were trying to stay silent.

You felt like a creep listening to them and you knew you would feel ashamed of your actions later, but right now you didn't care, you just wanted to touch yourself.

At that moment, you thought back to earlier, remembering the way that Joel sat on the couch, sprawled out as he talked to Tess. You imagined him under you, seated the same way while you were on top of him grinding against his hard cock. His warm, rough hands would be gripping at your waist underneath your tank top, as he guided your hips. One of his hands would trail up to your braless breast and cup it while he would thumb at your erect nipple.

You grab onto the headboard, picturing it was his shoulders you were holding onto.

"Feel so good, daddy," You breathed out as if he were actually under you. "Makin' me feel soo good,"

"Atta girl, you like grindin' your pussy against this cock? Huh, baby?" he would ask you before letting out a loud grunt as he tried to hold back from cumming over his stomach and between your thighs.

Goosebumps trailed down your spine as you imagined this and your hips move faster against the pillow, making the headboard hit the wall harder.

"Yes, Joel," you moaned out as if he were actually there, not even realizing how loud you were.

You assumed you weren't being loud at all, but in actuality, you were. Tess and Joel had heard everything from the moment you started. Due to the wall and the fact that you were just so caught up in your own fantasies, you couldn't even hear them talking about you.

"S-she can hear us, Joel," Tess groaned out to Joel, but not once did Joel stop his thrust. He kept going because knowing that you were pleasuring yourself turned him on.

"Yeah? Let her hear," Joel purred as he felt Tess pulse around his cock. His thrust got faster, intensifying the harsh sound of the frame striking against the neighboring wall.

Just on the other side of the wall, you were hunched over listening to them and humping against the poor pillow. "P-Please, daddy, don't stop," You shook your head as you go to grip the pillow under you so you could get more friction. You could feel the sweat dripping down your face from how intense this whole thing was, but you didn't dare to stop.

You were barely listening to Joel and Tess anymore as you were close to your orgasm.

"Don't fuckin' stop," your torso was stiff as you opened your legs wider and pushed your core down on the pillow harder. Your toes wiggled and curled as you were seconds away from cumming. You whimpered Joel mindlessly the closer you got.

You needed this badly, you need him.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cumming," was the last thing you rasped before biting down on your lip. Not once did you stop nor slowed down the thrust of your hips as you shook with pleasure. You kept going as you chased your climax, hardly even breathing.

Right after you, Joel came shortly after.

"Aw, fuck!" he grunted loudly as he held onto Tess' hips. His seed spilling into the condom. Because his thoughts were so hazy at the moment and the only thing he could think of you, he nearly moaned out your name while fucking Tess, but thankfully he stopped himself before it could roll off his tongue.

"Shit, Joel," Tess groaned, cumming around his cock. Joel stayed behind her for a moment, still holding onto her buckling hips.

Eventually, Joel pulls out and collapses next to her before pulling the condom from his cock, tying it, and sat it on the nightstand. Tess does the same. They both say nothing to each other as they lay there.

Joel wondered what you were doing now.

Meanwhile, you were still trying to catch your breath, still holding onto the headboard as you tried to calm yourself.

You heard the talking as they got out the bed and moved around the room to put on their clothes you assumed.

Finally, Joel's door opens and you can hear them walking out of the room and go down stairs.

The front door opens as they quietly exchanged a few words to each other.

Joel eventually shuts the door and makes his way back upstairs. Once again, you could hear his heavy footsteps as he trot up the steps.

You decided that once he goes back in his room, you were going to dash to the bathroom to clean up the mess you made on yourself.

You were about to get out of the bed so you could clean yourself until heard Joel's feet about to shuffle past your door before he stopped right in front of it. You sat down on the middle of the bed, waiting for him to go to his room.

Joel hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether or not he should knock on your door, but he decided to do it anyway.

Joel's hard knuckles knocks at your door making your body go stiff. You were going to pull the blanket over your body and answer him, but you decided to pretend to act like you were sleeping.

You thought that this worked until your door suddenly swung open, revealing the large outline of Joel Miller. You scrambled to pull the duvet over the bare bottom-half of your body, hoping that he didn't see anything.

He stood there a moment before speaking up. "You good, sweetheart?" Joel asked you. He obviously knew you were awake.

It took you a few seconds before you replied as you were trying to calm your beating heart after he scared you. "Yeah, i'm fine, Joel," you said, thinking that he would just fuck off and go back to his room, he didn't. Instead, he came fully walked into the room and closed the door behind himself before making his way over to the bed.

"W-What the hell are you doing, Joel?" You asked him, caught off guard that he would just come in here.

Joel was going to speak until he realized something got caught onto his slipper as he approached the edge of your bed, making him suddenly stop and look down. Because it was dark in the room, he could tell what it was, but it was obvious that it was a piece of clothing. He bends down and grabs it, feeling a slight dampness to it before coming back up and holding the material out in front of him.

Joel goes to flick on the lights and your heart flutters when you see what he was holding. You look at Joel with a panic look on your face and see that he had this surprise, yet smug expression on his face.

It was your fucking underwear that you threw off.

"Look what we have here, sweetheart," He says as he walks closer to the bed, making you clutch the duvet closer to your body. "These yours?" He asked you even though he knew the answer.

"Can you put them down, please?" You pleaded with him silently as your face burned with embarrassment. He doesn't answer you, instead he brings the damp fabric up to his nose and inhales your scent, closing his eyes as he took it in. You let out a squeak, surprised that he was doing this.

Again, if this were anyone else you'd probably be creeped out by this, but there was something about Joel that made you want him badly.

"Smells so fuckin' good," he says as he pulled them away from his nose. You just look at him, mouth agape as he opens his eyes, balls up your panties into his hand, and sits on the edge of the bed. As if your grip couldn't get any tighter, you pull at the duvet again, hoping that Joel wasn't seeing anything under it. He immediately noticed you doing this and looked at you curiously with his dark eyes, making you feel nervous.

"What's under the blanket, baby?"Joel asked as he pointed at your lap.

You shook your head and avoided eye contact with him, "please don't make me do this, Joel," you begged him again, but he didn't budge one bit.

"Oh come on. Be a good girl and show me what you're hiding under there," He said sternly. You didn't need much convincing because you quickly gave into his demand. You slowly move the blanket off of you, shaking as the feeling the air hits between your legs.

Joel groans at the sight. "Baby, look at you," his deep southern voice says so softly as he brings his warm on on top of your thigh, making your thighs clench together.

"No no no, you don't close those legs unless I tell you, you understand me?" You nodded your head and let him pull your legs open.

"So beautiful up close," He groans out. His hand moved to the inside of your thigh and slid up, making you whimper. Your core throbbed again, longing for him, but he never did.

"Touch me, daddy, please." You whispered to him, so desperately.

"Mmm, not tonight, baby," He says, while his fingers continued to tease you. "Can you do somethin' for me?" He asked softly.

"Yes, Joel," you said and nodded your head without a second thought, ready to do anything he asked you.

"I want you to show me how you were touchin' yourself when you were listenin' to me and Tess,"

You stilled once he said this, you didn't know that he heard you moaning. "W-what?"

"Don't be so surprised, girl. You weren't bein' very quiet." He teased you before speaking up again. "Now, I want you to show me,"

You sat there for a moment, embarrassed that you were about to do this in front of Joel. You grab the cum-soaked pillow before getting up onto your knees on the bed and stradling it, trying not to look at him.

"Look at me." He orders. You look at him, feeling nervous as he watched you with his intense gaze. "Now, ride the pillow. Slowly."

At first, you were reluctant as you began to slowly grind against the pillow, so embarrassed at the moment that you couldn't even enjoy the pleasure. And the look on Joel's face made you want to die.

He brings his hand onto your thigh making your stop, "Relax yourself," he mutters.

You nod your head before you let out a loud sigh. You try to calm yourself down before you lean forward, making your back arch and held onto the pillow with one hand while the other kept you up.

You began to move your hips, this time feeling a little more comfortable as you did so. You let out a weak whine as the pillow grazed against your wet clit.

"Good, darlin', go a lil faster now,"

You didn't need any convincing with that, you instantly went faster, making the bed frame to knock against the wall.

Joel's cock jumped in his pants as he watched you with greed in his eyes. He wished he could take you right there, make you weep and bite into the pillow as he pounded into your wet pussy.

"Look at ya, humping that pillow like a slut," he groaned, thinking about you riding him the same way. "You like being a slut, don't you?" Joel asked you.

"Mmhmm—I love it so f-fucking much, Joel," You moaned as you convulse on the pillow, nearly cumming.

"P-please—" was all you said. You couldn't even get the words out of your mouth as the the uncontrollable waves of pleasure passed through your body.

"Please what, baby? What do you want?" He pressed for you to continue your sentence.

"Please touch me, I need to feel you right now," You grab Joel's hand from the bed and bring it up to your breast, taking him by surprise.

Such a needy girl, Joel thought as he felt your hard nipples through the cotton. He fumbled and teased at them before pinching your nipple, making you yelp loudly and your back arch more.

"Baby, you gotta be quiet or someone will hear you." He whispered to you, trying to get you to be quiet.

Instead of just being quiet, you shook your stubbornly, closed your eyes in pleasure, and bit your lips, loving the feeling you were experiencing right now.

"I don't give a fuck," You said as you breath out a humorless chuckle, after releasing your lip from your teeth.

The way you were acting right now in front of Joel surprised him a bit—it was different than the way you were this morning, even minutes ago. He didn't mind though, not one bit. Joel actually enjoyed seeing you this way. So wild, allowing your pleasure to take over.

"Oh shit, I'm gonna cum," You gasped out.

"Yeah? You gonna cum?" Joel teased. Mmhm, you whimpered in response as he releases your breast and starts to move his hand up your shirt, starting from your hips and going up your tank top. He palms your breast again, feeling the goosebumps rise on your skin, and flicks your nipple hard.

"Come on, cum for me, sweetheart. I wanna hear you moan for me," He eagerly said as he watched your body tremble, ready to fall apart for him. Your moans got louder and louder before your breathing hitched and got caught in your throat.

You came almost immediately, your body shook and your hand went to your clit as you keep on grinding on the pillow, intensifying your orgasm. "Daddy, oh fuu-shit!" you squeaked.

"Look at you, my pretty, slutty baby. Cummin' so hard f'me," he purred, but you couldn't get out your words. You were so overwhelmed that you nearly fell over as you tried to keep yourself up, but luckily you didn't.

Joel continued to spew out teasing comments as he egged on your climax, until you eventually calmed down a bit. He removed his hand from your shirt as your slumped against the bed with exhaustion.

He let out a chuckle as you face plant into the bed before giving your back some rubs as he tried to calm you down. You were breathing heavy as your body trembled and your hips rolled against the pillow, causing you to let out a dreamy moan.

"Oh darlin', come on, get up so you can lay down right...gonna hurt your back laying like that," Joel said to you softly. You were tired as hell and on the verge of falling asleep right there, so you stayed there for a little before getting up.

Once you did get up, you fell back into the soft pillows with your eyes closed as you felt yourself relax into them.

You can feel as Joel grabbed the pillow from that you humped from between your legs. You thought that he was going to put it to the side or something, but that wasn't the case at all.

"Oh, baby, look at the mess you made," you hear him say, almost moaning. Your eyes shoot open, which you catch him running his finger through your wetness on the pillow, bringing it to his mouth, and licking it off. He groaned the moment it touches his tongue, which made your eyes widen with shock and you let out a gasp.

To Joel, you tasted as good as you smelled and he loved it.

"Joel, why would you do that?" You asked him, shocked that he would do that.

He gives you a wide smirk, making your stomach flutter with butterflies. "Why not, baby? You taste so good."

You say nothing after this, feeling flustered by his actions.

It was quiet between the two of you until you remembered that you didn't have anything on from the waist down.

You were tired, but you gathered the strength to get up from the bed.

"Where you goin', sweet girl?" Joel asked you as you made your way to your bag.

There's that name again. You loved it when he called you that.

"Just grabbin' some shorts," you looked over at Joel as you bent down to grab your shorts and put them on, feeling his eyes on you, watching you so intensely. "I can feel you watching me, Mr. Miller," you tease him.

"Mr. Miller, huh?" You turned around and made your way back to the bed to find Joel still watching you.

You just nodded your head as you plopped down onto the bed a lay down. You pat the spot next to you, trying to get him to lay down next to you, which he obviously got the hint.

"Want me to lay with you, darlin'?" He looked over to you, searching your face for permission.

You quickly nodded your head as you scoot over to make room for Joel, making him crack a small smile on his hard face.

God he looked so handsome when he smiled.

"Alright, baby."

Joel laid on his back on the pillow next to you, making readjust yourself as you snuggled into him with your head and hand resting on his chest. He wraps his arm around your shoulder, pressing you closer to his body.

You laid there listening to his steady heart beat, your heavy eyelids almost closed.

You noticed that he had all the chances to touch you, even have sex with you, yet he never did and it made you wonder why.

Before you could stop yourself, you called his name."Joel?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?" He asked

You hesitated before speaking up again, afraid of what you might hear from him, but fuck it.

"Why won't you touch me?" You asked him curiously, the sleep was audible in your voice.

He was quiet for a moment, making your wrench with rejection, until he spoke up. "One day, baby. Just not right now, okay?"

You nodded your head against his chest before answering. "Okay," You said softly, feeling somewhat content with his response, but still feeling a little rejected.

At least he didn't say never, you thought to yourself.

"Good girl, now get some sleep." He said, making you nuzzle into his chest and close your eyes, almost instantly drifting to sleep as you felt his hard body under you.

============================================

[santaasi]

SHADOWS

pairing: jj maybank x routledge!fem!reader

summary: when emotions take over and shadows are swallowed up, all you need is to find a person who will become your light (based on shadows by sabrina carpenter)

warnings: angst, a little bit of fluff, use of y/n, english is not my first language

word count: 2.3k

a/n: the action takes place after the finale of the first season of obx

We all got nightmares in our dreams

We look for someone to believe in us

And show us the way

And make it okay

The world can be dangerous

Everyone in Kildare knew who JJ Maybank was. A flighty, self-confident blonde, a girls man, the life of all parties, and the honored prince of pogues. You could always buy the best weed from him at the best price, and repair the car as soon as possible. He appears in the police station more often than at home, and all parents pray only that their child does not fall under his charm. JJ Maybank was a walking problem, but despite that he had a heart of gold.

As a child, his mother told him that life consists of white and black stripes, like a zebra. But for some reason, JJ's own life was like a big and long black tunnel, in which fireflies sometimes appeared, illuminating his life. John B, Kiara and Pope were the only bright spots in his life, the most important people who, no matter what, stayed by his side.

But it was only for John B, that JJ was ready to do anything, because their bond had always been stronger than just friendship. They were brothers who had been going through all the problems together since childhood. John B. was by JJ's side when his mother left the family when he was seven. John B. was there when JJ's drunk father beat him almost to death when he returned home one night. John B. was there to treat his wounds, and allocated a separate room for him in the chateau so that JJ would not have to return home. John B. was the one who always believed in JJ, who knew that despite all the words of the people around Maybank, he would not become like his father.

That's why the loss of John B in the storm two weeks ago was another blow to JJ's gut from a life that proved to him over and over again that JJ Maybank was not made for happiness.

There's something so rare in your veins

Not a single thing I would change

And oh, if you only knew how I see you

Would you come alive again, alive again?

But despite how much JJ Maybank treasured his friendship with John B., he couldn't do anything about his feelings for his friend's younger sister, who, like a little sun, always lit his way in this pitch darkness of his life.

Y/N Routledge has always been her brother's most precious treasure. After their father disappeared, John B. devoted himself to his sister, protecting her from everything, promising that he would always be by her side. And now, seven months after Big John disappeared, John B. wasn't with her either. She was left all alone in this big world, which seemed ready to swallow her completely.

The first week after John B. went missing, JJ heard Y/N crying quietly at night, suppressing her screams, burying her face in the pillow. He could hear the sound of her bare feet on the wooden floor and the slam of the screen door when she woke up at the middle of the night from nightmares and went out on the porch to get some fresh air. Every night, Maybank cursed the thin walls of the chateau and John B. for causing her so much pain by leaving. But no matter how much JJ wanted to help her, he was too deeply drawn into the swamp of his own feelings, from which he could not get out in any way.

Y/N wasn't blind to what was going on with her brother's best friend either. She knew how much shit JJ had to go through in his entire life, how many loved ones he had to lose, and she understood that losing John B was another blow for him. She felt how he blamed himself for what had happened, heard how he wakes up at nights from nightmares, asking John B. and Sarah not to go into the storm, saw how only a pitiful shadow remained of the former JJ and it broke her heart.

The girl always admired the strength of JJ's spirit, despite all the shit that happened in his life, he stayed afloat. He raised his head and walked confidently and straight on. He supported his friends, was ready to do anything for them, even go to prison for a case that he did not commit, as long as his friends, his only family remained unharmed.

And JJ Maybank was always there for her. When her heart was broken for the first time, he was there, holding her tightly to his chest, whispering soothing words in her ear. When she was fighting with John B., JJ was always on her side, listening to her outrage. JJ Maybank went to parties with her, dancing with her until the sunrise, sat with her on rainy evenings at the chateau, watching romcoms that he hated, brought her her favorite sweets when she was sick, taught her surfing and listened to all the gossip from her work during their mini spa days at the chateau with such interest, as if Y/N told him about the beginning of the universe. JJ Maybank was always there for the younger Rotledge and it was just impossible for her not to fall in love with him.

She loved her brother's best friend even when he was a complete mess. When he cried on her shoulder after another fight with Luke. When he got drunk and she had to carry him to the chateau. When he was angry at her for getting into all these dangerous things with all the other pogues.

Y/N Routledge loved JJ Maybank in every shape and condition. And she would never change even the slightest detail about him, because for her, JJ Maybank was perfect for who he is.

Y/N was also hurt by the loss of her brother, and she, like no one else, could understand all of JJ's pain, but unlike him, she had the strength to live and move on. She didn't blame herself for what had happened, realizing that John B. had always been too stubborn to listen to anyone, but JJ… He was devouring himself from the inside out. He dug out the grave himself and buried himself with his head. The darkness that had been accumulating in him for so long was finally winning. And Y/N was scared. She didn't want to lose him either. She couldn't lose him.

I need you to understand

Y/N stood in front of the door to JJ’s room, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other, doubting the correctness of her actions. They haven't spoken since the day John B disappeared, although they've been living under the same roof all this time, but they were functioning on their own.

After hearing another sob from behind the door, the girl finally opened it, going inside.

It was very dark and cold here, but after getting used to the darkness for a couple of seconds, Y/N began to distinguish silhouettes.

The room was a complete mess: all the clothes from the wardrobe were spread out on the floor, along with books, notebook sheets, rumpled bed linen and glass fragments that glittered in the moonlight. The lamp fell from the bedside table and was lying in the corner.

JJ was sitting at the foot of the bed, his head buried between his knees, and his hands were clutching the strands of his blonde hair in fists. His body was trembling. Even without seeing his face, Y/N could tell with certainty that JJ was trying his best to cope with the hysteria that was punishing him.

"Hey, J, are you okay?" the girl asked softly, quietly approaching the guy and kneeling next to him.

Startled, JJ mmediately raised his head, staring at the girl in shock, as if he had seen a ghost. There were wet marks on his cheeks, and his eyes were swollen and red from crying. More than anything, Y/N wanted to hold him close and comfort him, to convince him that everything would be fine.

"Angel?" JJ asked hoarsely, not believing his eyes. The sound of her soft and gentle voice sent a wave of goosebumps through his body. Her voice. It had been so long since he had heard her voice. "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry... I-I didn't mean to... I-" JJ stumbled through his words, frowning and averting his gaze from the girl.

"Hey, hey, hey... calm down, J," the girl whispered softly, covering his palm with her hand. "I understand, okay? Everything is fine," the girl said soothingly, trying to smile.

I don't mind your shadows

'Cause they disappear in the light

JJ's gaze ran over her face, going over every detail of her appearance that he has memorized over all these years by heart. She looked the same as always, but her gaze seemed to have lost the spark that made his heart beat faster every time. But now all he could see there was emptiness and sadness, which even her slight smile couldn't hide.

All these two weeks, living under the same roof with her, JJ avoided her gaze, afraid to see this look. The look of loss. The loss of a brother that JJ felt responsible for. The lucky charm for all problems in the world is JJ Maybank. And JJ hated himself for it.

He caused her so much pain, coming to her to heal his wounds after fights with his father or kooks, or when he brought girls to the chateau, knowing full well about her feelings for him... Because he's afraid to admit to her that he's experiencing the same thing. JJ Maybank destroyed not only her life, but also the lives of all the people around him. And he thinks that it would be better for everyone if he just didn't exist.

Y/N noticed how his jaw clenched, and his gaze fixed on the wall became colder and felt a wave of goosebumps pass through her body when he abruptly got up from the floor early. Routledge Jr. could always understand her brother's best friend even without words. This situation was no exception. She understood that JJ's inner demons were devouring him from the inside out.

"Don't do this, Jay. Don't do this to yourself," Y/N whispered softly, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to burst, but her voice trembled treacherously.

"I'm the problem, angel," JJ said without turning to the girl still sitting on the floor. "I am the main cause of your troubles! Wherever I go, I only make things worse! I... didn't save John B.... I'm hurting you... I..."

"Don't do this to me, Jay!" the girl repeated more forcefully, jumping to her feet, wiping away tears.

"I don't care about your shadows! I'm not afraid of them!" Y/N said sobbing, clutching his hand. "I'm here! I'm always there for you! I'll be your light if you need me. But don't leave me… I-I love you."

And listen to me, it's okay to be afraid

Just walk like you're never alone

"I didn't stop your brother, Y/N," the guy continued to insist, whispering, feeling tears accumulate in his eyes again. "He’s not here! And it’s my fucking fault!"

Y/N's hands cupped his cheeks, pressing his forehead to hers, closing her eyes and trying to calm her breath. JJ's hands rested on her waist, pressing her against his body, wanting to feel such a missing and dear warmth to his heart. JJ could feel her thumbs wiping away the tears rolling down his cheek.

"Listen to me, J. It's not your fault," Dana whispered softly.

"It's not your fault that John B is a stubborn bastard who always does everything the way he wants," the girl chuckled softly, feeling tears begin to roll down her cheeks too. She missed her brother like crazy, and she would do anything to have him here with her right now. But here and now, there was no John B., it was just her and JJ, who was damn bad at handling his emotions. So, Maybank and his mental state were more important to her than grief for her brother right now.

"You know you wouldn't have stopped him, so stop blaming yourself," Y/N sniffed, opening her eyes to meet his blue gaze. "It's not your fault."

The guy nodded slowly, holding her closer to him, burying his nose in her neck, inhaling soft vanilla scent of her hair. Y/N felt his body shaking in her arms, as he desperately clung to her, trying not to let himself completely collapse.

"I'm so scared that they won't come back, angel," the guy whispered softly into her neck. "I'm so scared that he won’t come back…"

"Me too, but it's okay," the girl whispered with a lump in her throat, running a soothing hand through his hair. "Everything will be okay… He will return… It’s- It‘s John B, he always returns"

There was silence in the room, broken only by their ragged breathing and the patter of raindrops on the window. JJ lifted his head, gently brushing away the strands of hair stuck to Y/N's cheeks, giving her a soft smile. JJ kissed her gently on the forehead before pulling her to his chest, hugging her tightly. His chin rested on top of her head.

"But we'll get through this together, as we always have. Like we've done it hundreds of times," Y/N said in a barely audible voice, forcing not only JJ, but also herself to believe that someday, everything will come to its senses again.

That someday John B and Sarah will come back and everything will be as before. That maybe someday her father will be found too and she will have a family again. That the black shadows that consumed JJ's life would be replaced by the sun's rays that would illuminate his path. That someday their life will really become like a zebra, and not like a black tunnel from which there is no way out.

But for now, all they could do was hold on to each other tightly, not letting themselves drown in the shadows of grief and loss.

And Y/N Routledge knew for sure that with JJ Maybank by her side, she could survive anything.

And all these voices in our head

Well, they keep screaming louder and louder

But they won't pull us under

thankx for reading <з

this is my first work on Tumblr, so I hope you enjoyed it. feedback always appreciated :з

– your santi ✨

[dolcekissy]

tattoo galore , ღ

: ̗̀➛ rafe dating reader that has multiple tattoos and is also a tattoo artist.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ masterlist

disclaimer // 18+ content. this story includes mentions of sex, titty fucking, and yeahhh.

✎ i'm a beginner tattoo artist and love tattooing myself and people! but girl i just did a tattoo on myself and randomly thought about this. i loveee doing line work on myself, i'm working on doing a sleeve on my arm rn of butterflies and flowers and girlllll 😮‍💨. but i also love doing dope ass tattoos on people too. okay that's enough i just love sharing my love for tattooing! anyways hope you enjoy <3

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rafe dating a tattoo artist would definitely consist of him getting turned on just from looking at your tattoos. you could be fresh out the shower, fresh ink barely peeking through the towel and right off the bat he wants to fuck you. he's obsessed with your naked body to begin with but your naked body filled with some sexy ass ink? whew.

me personally i love me a good tattoo down the valley of the breasts and so does rafe. rafe goes absolutely feral when you come home from your shop and he sees your tits halfway out and some fresh ink right in between them. he's already sooo obsessed with your tits and now this? are you trying to kill him?

once that tattoo is healed and all pretty again (which were the longest few weeks of his life), don't be surprised when he's fucking his dick into your breasts and watching his cum drip down it.

rafe loves watching you work. whether that be you practicing on fake skin or sketching something out or watching you do tattoos on some of your friends. one time you did a tattoo on sarah and he was amazed by how steady your hand was and how beautifully done it was.

"how do you keep your hand so steady? that line is straighter than sarah's priorities." sarah whipped her head around, threatening to get up and slap him just for you to yell at her to sit still. "girl fuck him but please! sit still!" you say trying not to laugh at his corny comment.

rafe also loves watching you work on yourself. whether it's a small tattoo or a big one he'll watch you work for hours. he's so fascinated with how you can do them on yourself, knowing it's extremely difficult to learn.

you two are sitting in your shop, him stealing a chair and sitting close enough to be able to watch you while you set up and start printing out the stencil.

"what're you doin today?" you grab the stencil from the printer and hold it up showing it to him. he observes it before asking where you're doing it at, almost shitting himself as you point to your inner thigh. immediately thinking about how good that's going to look and all the open mouth kisses he'll give it before lapping up your sweet, sweet juices.

rafe is totally in awe looking at your work you've posted on your socials or when you show him the work you did that day. he's so quick to show people your work or refer people to you. he could hear the word 'tattoo' come out of someone's mouth and he's automatically jumping to tell them that his girlfriend is an artist.

he'll be out in public and hear someone talking about how they want a new tattoo and will literally walk up to them and start showing them your work. his beautiful girlfriend is just so talented. why wouldn't he?

"yeah, my girlfriend did this on herself. oh and this one on my friend just a few days ago. i'll give you her info." he'll go on and on about you, "those other artists are just shitty if i'm being honest."

rafe would immediately go to you if he wants a tattoo. no matter how many times you tell him it's free of charge he'll still pay you.

"baby, you're literally my boyfriend. you don't need to pay me for this." you say as he's shoving hundred dollar bills in your face.

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[cutielando]

not so happy reunion | r.c.

synopsis: in which the reunion in the Cameron family is a disaster

my masterlist

From the moment you and Rafe got engaged, you had left the Outer Banks.

Not because you were keen on doing so, but because Rafe wanted to escape from the hold his family, specifically his father, had on him.

You moved into a beautiful mansion on the mainland, both of you had stable and high-paying jobs, so you were living comfortably.

You had also gotten married after a year and a half of moving, only with a few close friends, Wheezie, Sarah and your family. Per Rafe's request, Sarah and Wheezie hadn't told their parents why they were visiting the mainland, using the excuse of a much needed girls' trip.

Even though you had advised Rafe to at least let his family know about the wedding, he vehemently insisted that you didn't tell them anything, claiming he didn't want them to ruin his perfect day with you like they did everything else.

However, Ward didn't want to accept the fact that Rafe didn't want to have anything to do with him or his family anymore, hence always sending you an invitation to the annual Midsummers party.

Every single time, Rafe would come up with an excuse as to why you couldn't make it. You were either busy with your jobs, you were feeling under the weather, you missed your flight, the excuse range was very wide.

However, now that you were also pregnant with your first child, you figured it would be time to pay the old OBX a visit, for old times' sake.

Rafe, even though he agreed on your behalf, was very much not excited to be back.

"Have we got everything?" you were finishing up packing your bags, making sure you had put everything you would need for your 2 day stay.

"Do we really have to go?" Rafe asked from where he was sitting on your shared bed, pouting like a small child.

You sighed and chuckled, amused because he was still trying to convince you not to go when you were literally minutes away from leaving for the island.

"Baby, we haven't been back there in almost 3 years. Don't you think it's time we do go and show people we're still alive and happily together?" you moved your hands so they were resting on his shoulder, his eyes at a level with your growing bump.

He sighed and leaned forward to kiss your bump and cradle it in his hands.

"I don't want her to be in that environment" he mumbled, speaking about your unborn daughter.

The moment you had found out you were having a girl, Rafe couldn't stop dotting on you. He was so excited to have another little princess running around, a mini-you. He was doing everything to make sure he got the hang of it all, from reading books to taking some daddy-and-me classes, watching videos and grilling his co-workers about advice.

He was the most prepared father-to-be ever.

"Baby, everything is going to be fine. She's safe in there, nobody is going to do anything to her, or me, or you. We're just gonna see some old friends, have a little fun and try not to get into arguments with your father. We're leaving as soon as we can, okay?" you were running your hands through his hair, twirling his dirty blonde locks around your fingers.

He nodded and kissed your bump one last time before getting up, taking your bags and hauling them to your car.

The ride to the OBX was quiet, Rafe's hand consistently resting on your bump as he drove and yours resting on top of his.

As you observed Rafe for the whole ride, you noticed how much he started tensing up the closer  you got to the island, full on freaking out by the time he had parked his car.

"Okay, let's get this over with" he muttered as he got out of the car and jogged to your side, opening your door and taking your hand in his, interlocking your fingers.

You slowly made your way to the reception, more and more of your old friends recognizing you and stopping to chit chat.

At first, Rafe's hand was tightly holding yours tensely, but his grip slowly became more tender and less tense as he finally managed to calm down and enjoy seeing his friends.

"Rafe?" Ward's voice boomed through the party, making everyone around you stop to observe the interaction.

Rafe cursed under his breath but turned around, coming face to face with his father.

"Dad" Rafe nodded and said, his grip on your hand tightening slightly.

You started caressing the side of his hand with your thumb, trying to keep him grounded and calm.

"Oh, it's so good to see you, my boy" the man pulled his son into a tight hug, squeezing him like never before.

Rafe coughed and just patted his father on the back, one of his hands still linked with yours. You could only imagine how uncomfortable the situation was for your husband.

"And I see you brought your girlfriend as well" Ward said once his eyes fell on you.

"Wife, actually" you proudly corrected the man, your other hand now resting on your clearly visible bump.

Ward's eyes followed your hand and once he saw the wedding band on your hand holding your baby bump, his jaw went slack and he was at a loss of words.

Rafe cleared his throat and let go of your hand, instead opting to wrap his arm around your waist and pull your body flush against his.

"I can't believe this. Congratulations. When did this happen?" his voice was now back to his usual icy tone, surely figuring out the fact that he hadn't been invited to his son's wedding.

"Almost 1 year and a half ago. Found out we were expecting a couple of months ago" Rafe's gaze on his father hadn't let up.

Ward nodded, biting the inside of his cheek visibly.

"And you didn't think to invite your family?" he bit back.

"Wheezie and Sarah were there. The only family I needed with me" 

The music had now stopped, everyone concentrating on the brewing tension between the two Cameron men.

"What are we and Rose then? We raised you!" 

"With all due respect, you didn't do shit. You left him to fend for himself his entire life and didn't give a shit about his well-being because you were too obsessed with Sarah. You don't get to do that anymore. We didn't want you there because you didn't deserve to be there, just like you are never going to be a part of our child's life" you burst, not wanting to let Rafe deal with this by himself.

Ward's eyes widened as they shifted from his son to you. He had remembered you as the calculated one from the couple, always trying to keep the waters calm and Rafe under control. He didn't expect you to talk back to him like that.

"We're clearly not welcome here, so we're going to leave" Rafe said.

On your way out, you bid goodbyes to some of your friends and gave Ward one last look before getting into your car and driving away.

"I'm sorry, I thought it would be a good idea" you said once you had made it home, now safe and sound in the sheets of your bed with your husband.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. At least we managed to catch up with people before disaster struck" he teased, kissing your shoulder and hugging you from behind, his hands cradling your bump.

You laughed and settled in bed, drifting off to a peaceful sleep with the two most important people in your life: Rafe and your daughter.

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[princessbrunette]

baby daddy - barely holding down a job because of his attitude - line cook jj who feeds you waffles at his work for free as a ‘i’m sorry i knocked you up cause my pull out game ain’t that strong’ when he finds out. being a consistent thing that ends up with him taking ingredients for the ‘secret recipe’ home to their newly conjoined place because it becomes all she (she/her fem reader) craves. him introducing the baby to the work crew. I NEED PAPA JJ ✋

OHHHH MY GOD IM SCREAMING ???? this is exactly what i needed. anon u are an angel omg.

he gets the job as soon as he finds out you’re pregnant. it takes you like two weeks to build up the courage to tell him, because you’re terrified he’ll freak, have worries about being just like his dad and leave. you’re riddled with guilt, rubbing your tummy and crying, somehow feeling like it’s your fault, practically still kids yourself in your early 20s starting a life together. you were scared.

but jj, god, he’s just such a good guy.

he stares at you in shock when you tell him, taking his hat off and running his hands through his hair, and as you brace yourself to be told to get out, you’re met with a teary grin. “you’re not playing right? you mean it?” his voice is shaking. he’s… happy?

within the next two days he’s got that linecook job, called in a favour with some guy who ironically used to owe his dad— explained his situation, ‘look man, i got a baby on the way, i gotta step my shit up—’ the cravings hit hard and you’re seeing JJ a lot more than you planned, showing up at the restaurant for something to tide you over before dinner. JJ appears from the kitchen, bright smile on his face, backwards cap, grease stained white t-shirt, dark blue apron folded and tied at his waist. “there’s my girls.” he grins despite your bump only just being visible, plate of waffles in his hand for him to fork into your mouth whilst chatting, the restaurant pretty empty that day.

he’s tired, but happy to come home to you. your hormones are all out of whack, so sometimes you’re crying and hugging his tummy as he stands over where you sit in confusion, telling him you missed him so much when he was at work. other times you’re clenching your thighs in your little nightie, tits heavy and bump showing, telling him how good he looks in his work uniform and that he’s making you wanna take more of his babies, had you mentioned how much wetter you get when pregnant? JJ tries to keep up with your rollercoaster, happy to deal with whatever you throw at him.

once you have that baby life gets a little harder but it’s nothing the two of you can’t handle. a little girl, and JJ is relieved. he would have loved that baby all the same if it was a boy, but he has to admit the idea scared him a little — knowing his own relationship with his dad. this felt like a breaking of a curse, a fresh start. that baby is his whole entire world, and so are you.

“my weak pull out game is the best damn thing that happened to me.” he jokes, stretching an arm around you on the couch.

“your weak pull out game is making noise in her crib, can you go check on her?” you sark back with a tired grin, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

the baby is the sweetest. your eyes and hair, his nose and mischievousness. once you’ve gained back some energy and the baby isn’t screaming through the night anymore, you start to take her places, showing her your world. the chateau, the group taking turns holding her, arguing over who her number one aunt or uncle is. john b and sarah take the role somewhat as the babies god parents, minus the ceremony and legal title. pope and kie, uncle and auntie. it makes sense to all of you, and they all love that baby like it’s your own— offering their help whenever they can. your baby takes a liking to john b the most, warming your hearts when she falls asleep on his chest.

“its ‘cos hes such a dreamboat. look at him. daddy ain’t pretty like john b.” jj jokes, stretching on the couch opposite as the sun goes down.

“my god she’s so cute!” his best friend whisper yells with a pout as he looks down at her.

everyone takes to calling JJ ‘papa J’, once a random nickname turned reality. JJ is constantly calling you “mama” which makes you wanna get pregnant all over again. he gets super upset when he sees even a flicker of his own father in him, locking him self away for the night, crying until you let yourself in, the baby in bed, rubbing his back. you tell him he’s the best daddy in the whole world, and he is. he just needs to believe it.

[nikethestatue]

Rant incoming.

Maybe I am a bit of a psycho (okay, not a bit) but for the love of God and all that is holy--Sarah, give us the Shadowsinger that you keep hinting at.

I need at least ONE of these men to go dark. Go fucking black.

We keep hearing about the violence, the terror, the sheer presence of them that would make a grown man piss his pants---but we never see it?

The one and ONLY time where I feel it happened (and marginally too) was when Rowan skinned (not gonna say who) alive.

But it's kind of like--if SJM insists on making all these men ruthless warriors, torturers, the most powerful Fae in the kingdom or the world or whatever--then SHOW IT. Show us the men we are supposed to crave and fear.

We had Hunt, the Umbra Mortis, who barely ever 'mortis-nized' anyone ever. He was just a himbo who wanted to eat pizza and watch sunball.

Cassian, the Commander General, had one good run during the war and then became a human dildo.

Azriel cut the Attor a lil bit.

Give me the scary. The unhinged. I don't need cinnamon rolls. I want one of these dudes to rip out someone's heart and then fuck his ladylove on top of the corpse.

I am also so so so tired of the 'girl Power woooo!' thing that SJM keeps writing--where the women always take care of business and need no help, no protection, no revenge, no assistance from the men whatsoever. Why even bother making these men these illustrious warriors, when we know that Nesta can kill a Death God in 10 minutes, and Bryce can kill an Asteri in about 8 minutes.

I am beginning to wonder what is the point of men in SJMs' stories at all?

We had the 'Most Powerful High Lord In History' running around dropping to his knees, looking for a good OBGYN for all of ACOSF. We had the Commander General taking lots and lots of time from his clearly not very busy schedule to train some girlies and have repetitive sex. Lucien, not much of a warrior to begin with, just hangs out at his country manor. Azriel seems to be working at least, but mostly he is just being angsty.

Like there's been a shipwar raging for 3.5 years over these guys, and honestly, for what? Azriel is a spy, a torturer and 'a freak'. If it all ends up being for nothing, and he is just going to be some pining useless follower, carrying Elain's purse, whose 'freakiness' consists of light spanking and a nipple bite, then honestly, GAs or whoever, can have him.

I feel like 90% of all ACOTAR readers came to the series through Rhys. Because Rhys was so shifty. So cold. So unremorseful. Rhys was...INTERESTING.

What happened? Where are the interesting male characters? We know that SJm is not GRR Martin or anything, but come on.

Let's even take Lucien--and I don't give a shit about Lucien--but make Lucien...interesting? If he is so wily and crafty, why can't Lucien at least TRY to trick Elain into liking him, going out with him on a date? ANYTHING. Try to gaslight her, lie to her, trick her--do anything that makes me want to read about you. Eluciens keep whining about 'mean Elain' but like, why are they satisfied with this limp noodle of a painfully boring character? Why no demands of fucking everyone over and going after what he wants? 'Oh, he is so respectful'! Who cares? Why do you want to read that in a fantasy book about supposedly violent and brilliant fairies?

I am reading all kinds of things outside of ACOTAR, and I reflect and I think, OMG, SJMs males are boring AF!!!! Why do they even inspire a glimmer of desire or interest? They literally do nothing memorable or interesting.

Honestly, if the next book is the same, and she murders Azriel's character, it will be a big fat goodbye from me.

I am holding on to hope that she'll write him and even Lucien somehow, somewhat compellingly.

[rafesslxt]

🐰 secret bunny⎥rafe cameron

part 2 ⎥"bunny 🐰"

「 ✦ 𝐇𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞.✦ 」

summary: A Costume Party? Rafe as Ghostface? Where can I sign? Both of them see each other for the first time again, which brings up some old memories.

word count : 3k

warning: sexual tension, language, ghostface!rafe, alcohol, best friends brother, making out, seven minutes in heaven - game, touching, English is not my first language

Scarlett's POV:

Full of anticipation, I walked through the city in hope of finding a good costume. After I woke up, Sarah called me and apologized for Topper's behavior where I told her that I was also a little bit ashamed of JJ's actions.

She asked me if I would like to come earlier and get ready together. Of course I agreed. She recommended a store in town where they sell costumes, which I was now standing in front of.

I went in and had a look around. I didn't want anything too flashy but still something that would be recognizable. I found myself standing in front of a bunny costume. It consisted of a headband with big fluffy ears, a furry nose and a flower for the bottom.

I paid for it and left the store. I quickly called a cab to take me to Sarah's.

When I arrived, I looked at the Cameron's estate. Now that I was older, I realized for the first time how huge Tanny Hill actually was. I walked slowly through the front garden, which was bigger than John B's entire home. Sometimes I wondered how fair this world really was. Why can Sarah and I live in big houses and John B and JJ live in small huts and have to fend for themselves?

I rang the doorbell and waited a moment before it opened and two arms wrapped around my waist. "Wheezie! How big you've gotten!" I looked down in amazement and looked at Sarah's little sister. "Sarah is upstairs in her room waiting for you. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." "Thank you." I smiled at her before going upstairs to Sarah's room. Everything felt so familiar but so strange at the same time. As a child, I had never thought about what happens when I wasn't in outer banks.

But now, especially after last night, I wondered more and more what I had missed.

I opened the first door in the hallway. " Hey Sarah." I smiled at her as she came towards me. " Hey." She hugged me tightly and exhaled deeply. " Sorry again for the mess yesterday. This is not how I had imagined our reunion." " It's all right. As I said, JJ wasn't entirely innocent either." " How is John B? Is everything all right with him?" " Yes, a black eye and a few bruises. Nothing he can't get over." " Good good." She nodded. " So? Did you find a costume?"

I unpacked my things, including my costume, and showed her my options. " Hmm.. the pink satin dress would look super cute together with the bunny ears. "

"Yes, that was my favorite too. I think I'll leave out the nose though." We laughed and held them in front of each other's faces.

" Who is actually coming to the party?" " Pretty much everyone. I just hope everything stays a bit more peaceful today than yesterday. " She sighed and put on her costume. She had a headband with a halo on it and big white angel wings that she put on over a short white dress. We got ready for the party together, put on our make-up and styled our hair. I left mine down with my natural waves. 

I was putting on my lipstick when Sarah came into the room and spun around. "And? How do I look?" She looked really great. Almost like an real angel.

" Fantastic. If you weren't with Topper, I'd almost say you were taking someone home with you tonight. " Her cheeks flushed and she looked into the mirror. "You know that feeling when something just doesn't feel right? Like it shouldn't be."

I stood up slowly and stepped behind her. " Are you thinking about Topper?" I asked cautiously. " She shrugged her shoulders. " You know, I've only been in one relationship so far, but what I do know is that the right one never makes you doubt whether he's the right one or not.", I told her.

"He tries so hard, but I always have the feeling that it's more about appearances. The most important thing is that we look good together and show up everywhere together. I don't know if that's what love is supposed to feel like." Without wanting to tell her anything wrong, I hugged her from behind and rested my head on her shoulder. "I have a feeling you already know the answer to that."

2 hours later

The first guests arrived an hour ago and the house was getting fuller by the minute. After we'd finished, Sarah and I decorated the house and got everything ready. She took care of the snacks and I took care of the drinks. Sarah took Wheezie to a friend of her's.

Like us, most of the guests had masks on or were wearing light make-up.

The party went great. Sarah introduced me to a few of her friends and I caught up with some old faces. " Hey Scar I know you probably don't like Topper very much now, but he's just coming through the door." she whispered to me before he stood next to us with Kelce. He kissed her and pulled her close to him. He was wearing a black costume with some blood and 2 small horns on his head. Kelce next to him was dressed as a vampire. "Ah, good and evil I presume?" I pointed between Topper and Sarah, whereupon Sarah looked sheepishly at Topper. "Yes, we wanted to be recognizable as a couple," Topper said, hugging Sarah from the side. 

"The most important thing is that we look good together and show up everywhere together. I don't know if this is what love is supposed to feel like." Sarah's words replayed in my head.

"So, did you bring any of your friends with you?" Topper asked me, looking down at me cocky. " Why? Do you want to die again?" I knew I was going a bit too far, but if there was one thing I didn't like, it was arrogance. Whether it was wrong or right of JJ to hold a gun to Topper's head was one thing. But running your mouth the next day after almost wetting your pants is beyond crazy to me.

" Excuse me?!" He was visibly angry and took a step towards me, letting go of Sarah. " Topper..." Sarah intervened but I also took a step towards him. "No, that's okay Sarah. He's welcome to learn that even a girl can beat his ass up." I could see the red color rising in his face. " Oh yeah? How about we- " before he could continue, he was interrupted by a male voice.

" Hey hey hey, why don't we all calm down first?" Someone said with a foreign voice, dressed as ghostface. He was wearing black jeans, a black shirt and the mask. He put his hand on Topper's shoulder, where I immediately noticed the golden rings on his fingers. They looked familiar but I just couldn't think of who they belonged to.

"How about you two lovebirds and Kelce get out of here and I'll take care of our little bunny?" He let go of Topper and put an arm around my shoulders. " Ra-" " Like I said, I'll take care of it," he emphasized again.

They just nodded and disappeared. Sarah turned around and whispered "I'm sorry" to me. "So that's how you greet old friends in the Outer Banks, huh?" I turned my attention to Ghostface next to me. " Old friends? I don't know when I've ever been friends with Topper," I said, walking along with him. He walked me out of the house, into the garden, where only a few people were standing to smoke or talk.

We sat down on a bench with a table in front of it and a tarp over it. His arm was still around my shoulders, so he pulled me closer and whispered in my ear, "Maybe not with Topper, but I would have thought my greeting would be a little sweeter." His voice was deep and somewhat muffled by the mask. Nevertheless, goose bumps formed all over my body. "Why should I greet a stranger?" "Am I? Am I a stranger?" He confused me more and more. "Who the hell are you?" " Oh bunny, I didn't think you would forget your first kiss so quickly."

My first ki- "Rafe?!" I looked at him, startled, and pulled the mask off his face. " Did you miss me?" There was a big grin on his lips as he scanned my shoked face. "I almost didn't recognize you when you were standing next to my sister last night. " " You were there last night too?" " Yes, but not long enough to see the fight. "

I didn't know what to say. He was the first person in a long time to leave me speechless. I also had no idea what he wanted from me. " What do you want from me?" I asked straight out.

He pulled me closer again and looked down at me. His eyes were always to fall in love with. Wait. Pull yourself together Scar. It's still Rafe. I took a closer look at his face and quickly realized how grown up he had become. He was incredibly handsome and only now did I realize how good he smelled. I looked into my cup and thought about how much I had to drink.

"Why do I have to want something? Isn't it possible that I just want to chat with you and find out how you are?" I've always been good at reading people and I knew straight away that he was lying and wanted something. "I'm fine Rafey, how are you?" I started to grin because I knew how much he hated it when I used to call him like that. He rolled his eyes and straightened up a little. "Now that you're here, I couldn't be feeling better, bunny. And I see you're just as cheeky as you've been for the last few years."

"Hmm, I'm beginning to think you've missed me," I replied. He softly put his hand on my knee, brushed his fingers over my skin and looked me in the eyes. Why couldn't I move? Why did his gaze captivate me so much? He lowered his head to the level of mine until his lips were right next to my ear again. " Would that be so bad? The last time I saw you, you were 14 and you just got your first kiss from me. " I tried to look away as my cheeks got hot but he took my chin between his fingers and turned my head around. " How 'bout trying again? You can't imagine how much better I am now."

His hot breath bounced against my skin. I bit my lower lip and tried to breathe normal. "Why so shy now hm?" he whispered. "Or didn't you like our first kiss as much as I did?"

We all sat in a big circle and waited excited until Chalsey had finished with the notes. After what felt like an eternity, she came into the room and placed an empty bottle in the middle of our round. "The rules are simple. Everyone takes a piece of paper from the bowl and reads out loud what it says, then spins the bottle and has to do what it says with the person the bottle is pointing at."

I was 14 at the time, as were most of the others in the room. The oldest were 16.

Linda next to me pulled a piece of paper out of the bowl first. She unfolded it and read out loud "kiss". A chorus went around the room as everyone waited to see who the bottle would land on. She crumpled up the scrap of paper again and put it back before taking the bottle in her hand, spinning it vigorously and waiting tensely. The bottle slowed down and stopped at... Kelce. Everyone looked up at the two of them and cheered.

Linda stood up shy and walked over to Kelce, who was sitting nervous in an armchair. His boys pushed him towards Linda. He stood up and slowly approached her face. When their lips touched, everyone started cheering and whistling again. They both sat back in their seats and looked sheepishly at each other.

"Scar, it's your turn." Chalsey said, holding out the bowl of notes to me. Excitedly, I took one out and opened it carefully. There it was and I couldn't believe my eyes. "Tell us, what did you get?" Sarah, who was sitting opposite me, asked me excited. "7 minutes in heaven."

My heart was beating incredibly fast as I took the bottle and spun it. I hoped it wouldn't be someone I didn't like. The bottle slowed down and my heart beat faster by the second. It stopped and my gaze followed the direction it was pointing at. Now my heart dropped in my pants. "Uuuhhh" everyone started giggling and whispering. Rafe. The bottle stopped at Rafe.

"My brother? Ew!" Sarah looked at her brother in disgust and shook her head. " You can use the wardrobe at the end of the hall. There are usually only umbrellas in there. We both stood up and walked towards each other. Rafe took my hand and pulled me behind him to the closet. He opened the door and let me in first. It wasn't really big, so I was slightly pressed against Rafe's torso as he got into the closet and closed the door.

Some light fell in through the crack in the closet and I could see Rafe's face. "Hi." I said shy. "Hey." He smiled a little and carefully put both hands on my hips. " We don't have to do this if you-" " No no no- I mean- it's okay Rafe. I'm not a kid anymore." The truth was, I'd always had a little crush on Rafe. I knew he was Sarah's brother, but I couldn't help it. Besides, I was sure he saw me as nothing more than his little sister's girlfriend. And I was only a year younger than Rafe.

I didn't want him to think I was a little girl who was scared, so I placed my hands on his chest. I could feel his heart beating fast under my palms. Was he nervous? His face moved closer to mine until I could feel his breath against my lips. " Have you ever kissed anyone?" I shook my head. " No." A smile formed on his lips before he brushed them against mine.

My heart felt like I was about to have a heart attack. "You smell good." Rafe whispered and looked me straight in the eyes. I got goosebumps as his grip on my hips tightened. "You too."

His lips finally touched mine and he closed the distance between us. He placed a hand on my cheek and stroked it with his thumb. His lips were soft and he tasted of the popcorn we all ate earlier. His second hand slowly stroked my stomach, which was exposed by my crop top. It startled me briefly, causing my mouth to open slightly. Rafe took his chance and ran the tip of his tongue over my bottomlip and then into my mouth.

I didn't know what to do so I did the same as he did, whereupon his grip on my cheek tightened a little and he pressed his body against mine. He let go of my lips and breathed just as quickly as I did. "You're a really good kisser," he moaned.

Out of breath, I could hardly answer and just nodded shyly. "Hey! Seven minutes are up!" Chalsey's voice rang out from behind the wardrope. "Too bad you're going home tomorrow," Rafe whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek.

I snapped out of my thoughts when Rafe stroke my cheek. " I think you did." he smiled and looked at me. "My question is still open though, what do you really want from me?" His eyebrows furrowed and his expression became a little more irritated. "Bunny, I told you I don't want to -" "Hey! Get your slimy hands off her!" I jerked my head to the side. " JJ?" Now I was the one who was irritated. "What are you doing here?" " I wanted to talk to you, to find out how you're doing. We haven't spoken all day." Rafe stood up next to me and looked at JJ. "Are you surprised she doesn't want to talk to you after you put a gun to Topper's head yesterday?" "You stay out of this Rafe!"

I stood up and put a hand on Rafe's chest to hold him back. "Rafe, please go inside. I'll sort it out." " Are you sure?" I nodded and smiled at him briefly. " Okay, I'll be inside if you need me." " Thanks, Rafe." He went inside and left me and JJ alone.

"JJ...what were you thinking?" I sat back down on the bench. "I don't know. I just saw him almost drown John B and then, well... that was the first thing that came to my mind." "Why did you even have a fucking gun on you?" " It's a long story but John B and I found it a a few weeks ago." I shook my head and eyed him. I could tell he was really sorry, but that didn't really change anything for now.

" JJ, I'll be home tomorrow or tonight. I'll write to let you know. But please go now." He sighed but listened to me." Love you, Scar. See you later." "Love you too, JJ." I watched him leave the property and then went back inside myself.

" Scar! Is everything all right? I'm so sorry I left you alone with Rafe, it was so stupid of me." I smiled and looked at my hands. " It's all right. He wasn't that bad to be honest." " Wow. Are you sure we're talking about the same person?" " Uhm, Sarah.. can I sleep here tonight?" " Yes, of course. When the party's over, we'll make ourselves comfortable and it'll be just like old times." I could tell she was happy and I hoped she was right.

At least one thing was going to be like it used to be. _

thank you so much for reading, let me know If you want part 3

xoxo Sarah

Secret Bunny Masterlist

[acourtofthought]

"Lucien is unwanted by everyone, nobody likes him"

"But he is a good male." Cassian's heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien's face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. "And I came up here because Feyre said I should. I need to kill a few hours before I'm to meet with her and Rhys. She thought I might enjoy seeing Nesta at work." Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get. But as Eris strode by...I could have sworn there was something like sadness - like regret, as he glanced at Lucien. The Lady of Autumn's favorite son - not only from Lucien's goodness. But because he was the child she'd dreamed of having ...with the male she undoubtedly loved. "He cares for you." "He is a good male," I repeated. / "I don't like to see either of you unhappy." Friends, I realized. They had somehow become his friends. "He'd already made many friends across the courts and had always been good at talking to people." Ups and downs in friendships, misunderstandings, etc., does not mean a character is unwanted or disliked. Rhys was upset with Lucien at various points throughout the series but guess what? Lucien was upset with Rhys too! For good reason, reasons Feyre continued feeding into at the start of ACOWAR. Feyre was upset with Lucien at points throughout the series? He was upset with her too! He called her an asshole to her face and she admitted it to be true. Sarah continues writing scenes for Lucien because he is important to the overall story. Some of those scenes consisted of disagreements, obstacles, overcoming past beliefs, etc., but the point is they were introduced and resolved and led to the characters building a stronger foundation with one another. If Lucien was unwanted than he would simply disappear from the story like Briar, like Hart and Bron, and so on. Instead Sarah continues to connect him to future plots like Koschei, she has the fan favorites (Feyre, Rhys, etc) remind of us of how much they need Lucien because of his connections, she has Feyre JEALOUS that Lucien is choosing to spend time with Vassa and Jurian over staying with her, we're told how Lucien has super special private meetings with only Rhys and Feyre. As of the most recent book we have Cassian feeling sorry for Lucien regarding his situation with Elain (and Cassian thinking nothing of Az's love life). We have Rhys going to bat for Lucien regarding Elain and ordering Az to stop being an idiot. We have Nesta making conversation with Lucien, we have Feyre asking Lucien to check on Nesta's progress, we have Rhys and Feyre inviting Lucien, the only non Night Court / IC character to Solstice (their FAMILY holiday, something not even the wraiths attend) and Starfall. Tamlin turned his back on Lucien? Tamlin turned his back on his entire court. It's called depression and is not some tally mark for anti's to use as proof that Lucien is unwanted. "Elain clearly doesn't want Lucien". And yet she keeps his gifts and has not formally rejected their bond. She had no issues telling Nesta off, no issues returning Az's gift, so why exactly is she so hesitant to tell Lucien to stop coming around if she truly doesn't want him and never will? Nesta also ignored people because she was running from something so chances are good we're seeing the same with Elain. In one breath we've got anti's claiming that Lucien is forgotten, unimportant, unwanted, hated by all. In the next we've got them claiming E/riel is next while Lucien will receive the book after, where he's so important that he'll defeat Koschei alongside Vassa.

[andhumanslovedstories]

ugh, i need to come up with an organization system for my blog. for a long time, i was like, 'man i hate that i don't write anymore' and then i'd come on tumblr and slam out an essay on whatever'd recently caught my fancy. i'd like to, in some way, find my posts easier, but then i get caught up thinking well how do i decide what posts get tagged what? like do i tag every original text post i made with 'sarah's wonderful words' in the off chance that something i considered a tossed off remark is actually something i want to remember? the fandom ones, the personal ones, the ones that are stupid dipshit jokes?

also what's the tag? 'writing'? 'words'? 'my stuff'? i've just never vibed with any of them. and, this is soooooooo specific to me, i consider the tags part of the post in terms of writing, and sometimes i'm like 'organizational tags make the writing slightly less funny.' unfortunately, i think the actually reason i don't do tag my original posts on tumblr is partially because i don't want to seem l like i'm trying too hard. whatever the fuck that means. i try hard all the time. the only tag i've managed to consistently used is 'nursing tag' and that's because my mother wants to read my thoughts on nursing but has made clear she doesn't care about ten million disco elysium posts. it seems presumptuous to think i or anyone would want an easy to access archive of my literary output on this website. unfortunately i do want that.

[creedslove]

ROSE BLISS 🌹

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel comes up with the name of your baby, as he is really enjoying fatherhood again

(this is a sequence of the BLISS series which I said it wasn't a series, but it is really. The previous parts are featured on my MASTERLIST but it could also be read as a one shot)

Warnings: there isn't anything, just fluff, like a lot of fluff, maybe soft!Joel, ooc!character, mom!reader

A/N: I just needed some fluff, I watched TLOU this weekend and I needed Joel to be happy 🥺

1.5k words

The baby Miller's name was chosen by Joel.

He decided to name his daughter Rose Sarah Miller.

It was the beginning of spring, Rosie was a couple of weeks old and you two hadn't settled on a name yet, which didn't even seem so necessary for Joel, as he would spend his days staring at his beautiful baby, always calling her princess, sweetheart, love… anything that comes from the bottom of his heart. He had taken her for one of their afternoon walks, which consisted in Joel proudly holding her into his arms, rocking her softly as he walked around the block or around the backyard, he just loved to carry and hold her at any possible opportunity. "Are you tired, darling? Do you need to shower now? Would you like to rest? I'll handle her" he would tell you with a stupid, lovely grin.

As he walked down the street, he paid attention to one of the neighbors' garden. The flowers were finally blossoming and even if Joel wasn't much of a plant guy, he thought they were pretty. Well, everything was pretty to him now that he was the happiest motherfucker in the world.

He stopped by the different bushes of flowers and cooed at his daughter, talking to her as much as he could, as he hoped she would recognize his voice and would enjoy it.

He told her all about the flowers he saw, the colors, the shapes but the moment he mentioned the roses, she opened her little eyes. Eyes like his and that always brought a new wave of pride into his heart. She whimpered softly and closed them again, nuzzling his chest and calming down.

"Do you like roses?" He cooed, kissing her soft head, an idea creeping up his mind "do you like roses, princess? You certainly smell like one… even better than one… do you wanna be daddy's rose?" He nuzzled her soft skin and earned a cute yawn from her.

Joel's heart melted at her answer. She was her daddy's Rose.

He rushed home, crazy to see you and tell you the news. Well, actually see if you approved the idea, but he had a gut feeling you would, after all he knew you also loved roses and now you had the most beautiful one in the garden.

You had given birth two weeks before and though Joel helped you with absolutely everything concerning the baby, he couldn't help you with how sore your body was and how you still got extremely tired during the day. You had just finished baking a pie, enjoying the energy peak you felt and smiled as he walked in with your daughter in his arms. You thought maybe she could be hungry or in need of a diaper change, but she was peacefully asleep.

Joel however, was even kind of flushed. He didn't know what happened to himself, he wasn't like that, he didn't behave like an excited teenage girl, but ever since his little miracle was born, he couldn't help but just felt hope, excitement, joy at all times. Life was good again because he had a daughter and a future wife… Well, maybe, he hadn't really gotten there yet.

But god, he wanted to make you his wife whenever he looked at you and remembered how much he loved you. How you helped him see he was worth of love, he was worth of you and the happiness you'd given him. He was so thankful to you because you were his everything, his second chance in life, and the way your eyes sparkled when you mentioned the name he thought for your baby, made him think again of making you his wife.

He had his Rose Miller and both him and his beautiful flower needed a Mrs.Miller in life.

Joel's explanation to why he decided to name your daughter Rose was quite funny, you highly doubt a two week old baby would have a say on it, but if your handsome and over the moon boyfriend said so, you could just agree with him. You could barely contain the joy to see how much he loved you and your baby, it was so beautiful, such a heartfelt experience and sometimes, you couldn't help but chuckle at it. You were also in love with your daughter, but Joel… it was something else. You could tell his whole world was that tiny little newborn and for someone who had met him before, the way you did, the things you witnessed him doing in order to protect you and survive, it didn't even seem it was the same guy. He was just different… he was happier. He was still jealous and protective of you and of your baby. He very often stood next to you like a watchdog, always making sure you were assisted, comfortable and okay. And God forbid if anyone wanted to visit you and the baby.

It's not that Joel didn't appreciate visitors, but yeah, he didn't appreciate visitors. He didn't like a lot of people he didn't know or had exchanged a couple of words with invading your house, giving you advice you didn't request and he especially hated when they wanted to hold his daughter.

She was his, and well, yours too, of course. But if she wasn't in her mommy's arms, then she should only be in her daddy's arms.

You tried telling him it was okay, he shouldn't be so territorial over her. But you knew saying that to Joel had the same effect as if you had said that to the walls of the house.

And Rosie spent her days in her daddy's arms. It was just her favorite place in the world, it was where she cried and calmed down, she fussed and fell asleep. That tiny little thing was a puddle of love for her daddy and you couldn't blame her, Joel was an amazing father, he was so caring and she corresponded just the same.

You were quite surprised he was so forward in wanting her to take Sarah's name too, you had actually thought of it multiple times during your pregnancy but didn't bring it up as you weren't sure if he would be okay with it or not.

But you liked it. It suited your sweet Rose and you knew it also brought love and peace to Joel's heart.

You finished cutting your pie in slices, knowing Tommy and Maria would swing by with their little Flora later that night, it would be only fair if you served them some sweet dessert, after all the help the woman provided you and Joel with. They'd been so nice to you, so patient and Maria helped you just as much as you helped her when Flora was born, and you were just thankful to have a friend while you went through that situation. As much as Joel was nothing but amazing with you, he was still a man, and had no idea how things changed for you.

You saw how silent the house was, Joel had returned from his afternoon walk and you both had agreed on naming your baby Rose, so you figured he was probably resting.

You silently went upstairs, not wanting to disturb your baby nor your man, in case they were asleep, but you found Joel wide awake, he lay in bed on his side, watching as Rosie slept peacefully right next to him.

His hands stroked her back so gently as he took in every single feature of your daughter, admiring her and still having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact she was so perfect and his.

You smiled at yourself and quickly joined him in bed, wrapping your arm around his body as you were the big spoon even if Joel was bigger than you.

You stoked his chest and down his belly, as you rested your chin on his shoulder and watched your beautiful girl.

"She's gorgeous… she looks a lot like you" he said in his low voice "and she has a lot of Sarah too" he swallowed, during the whole time you've known Joel and then later on dated him, he only brought up his late daughter a few times. You never pressured him about it.

You took only the information he wanted to give you.

"I bet she was gorgeous… just like our princess is gonna be one day" you said and kissed his neck softly and watched as Joel closed his eyes and groaned in approval.

"She was, and she was smart too, the smartest girl I've ever met, and our Rosie will be like her too, I'm sure of it" he traced his daughter's tiny face with the tip of his finger and smiled tiredly. Joel hadn't been getting a lot of sleep either as the two of you alternated between taking care of Rosie when she woke up at night.

"I love you Joel, and I love our Rose too"

"I love you Y/N, I love our baby and our family and maybe one day I would like to make you my wife…"

_____

A/N: I love Joel and I want him to be happy forever 😭😭😭😭

[dark-fics-4-you]

Best Friend’s Brother

Warnings: noncon, smut, drug use, drinking, violence, choking

The tapping of your nails against your phone screen and the distant sounds of the bass thumping downstairs over the hum of the party were the only noises that greeted your ears in the dark room. You were so drunk you were typing with only one eye open to stop the text from blurring.

needed a breather. give me 10 to 15 and i’ll be back down

You pressed send, clicking the power button on your phone as you sat back onto the bed. Sarah wouldn’t miss you too much, you just needed a minute to get your head back on straight. Swaying slightly, you kicked off your heels before reclining in the bed.

Your head was spinning from the alcohol as you tried to recall how many drinks you had had that night, you had taken at least 4 shots and god knows how many glasses of punch you had.

Your thoughts were interrupted when light streamed in through a crack in the door, and you squinted towards the figure who was approaching.

“Y/N, what the fuck are you doing in my room?” Rafe’s voice was unmistakable, sending a zap of anxious energy down your spine.

You sat up again, glaring at your best friend’s brother. He was definitely high, and anger filled his eyes along with something else that you had never seen in him before but couldn’t quite place.

“I didn’t know it was your room, asshole! I’m fucking drunk.” You snapped back, slurring your words somewhat. You pressed a hand over your eyes, which were hurting from the harsh light coming from the hallway.

“Bullshit,” he drew closer, sneering at you, and you shrank away from him. “You’ve been best friends with Sarah for, what, 8 years now? You’ve been coming over to our house practically everyday. You think I honestly believe you didn’t know this was my room?”

You looked up at him in confusion, not understanding why he was arguing with you about this. He barely even spoke to you normally, your relationship mostly consisted of you cowering from his searing gaze and biting your tongue at his sarcastic remarks. And now he thought you had come into his room on purpose?

Your drunk brain wasn’t able to filter the words coming out of your mouth fast enough, “Well maybe all that fucking coke you do is making you extra paranoid.”

That was the wrong thing to say.

You had always known that Rafe was irrational and quick to anger, but for some stupid reason, you assumed that being Sarah’s best friend shielded you from any physical violence Rafe could dole out.

You definitely weren’t expecting him to grab your wrist, fingers tightening hard enough to bruise as he climbed on top of you, draping his lips over yours.

You struggled beneath him, trying to wrench your wrist free from his grasp to push at him but it was no use.

When his lips found your neck, hands running across your chest and pushing up your shirt, your mind finally accepted what was actually happening.

A choked moan ripped from your throat when his lips attached to one of your nipples, licking and nipping at the tender bud. You tensed when you felt his large hand wrap around your throat in a silent threat.

Rafe brought his other hand to you thighs, easing under your skirt and hooking a finger into the lacy panties you were wearing and dragging them down your legs.

You fought to sit up again, kicking your legs as you did, but he roughly pushed you back down before pulling your underwear off all the way.

“S-SARAH!” You screamed through tears, gasping when the hand at your throat squeezed harder.

“Can’t be that loud, sweetheart,” Rafe mocked in a disappointed tone. “Now I have to shut you up.” You looked up at him with fearful eyes, resisting when his fingers gripped your jaw, opening your mouth and stuffing your panties into it.

You gagged against the material, hot tears filling your eyes as you watched your best friend’s brother undo the button on his shorts, pulling down the zipper and kicking his shorts and boxers off in one move.

You shook your head, breathing heavily as you silently begged with him through your teary eyes, but it was no use.

Rafe lined himself up with your hips, giving you no time to react before he was pushing his cock all the way into you in one stroke. His hand found your neck again, squeezing tight enough that your vision swam and started blacking out at the edges.

You cried against the panties in your mouth, choking as Rafe snapped his hips against yours at a ruthless pace.

You had never been more afraid in your life.

So why could you feel yourself getting slicker the more he jerked into you? He pulled one of your legs up to rest on his shoulder, and your leg shook as he fucked you harder.

“I always-” Rafe panted, growling and batting your hands away when you tried to push him off. “I always knew you’d feel this good.”