#i need s&b season 2 already so i can have something new to lose it about

[fishy-lava]

do yall think it Does Something™ to kaz knowing that inej has worn his gloves? does he know that she wore them or does he just know that she gave them back to him after scaling the incinerator? i mean she gave them to him but did she tell him she wore them? did kaz figure it out anyway? how does he feel knowing that she wore his armor and it protected her just as it protects him? how does inej feel about it? how does she feel knowing his armor will protect her as well?

[babybluebex]

laszlo kreizler nsfw alphabet

so yeah this... Happened. the zemo version is coming soon, stay tuned! (probably tomorrow morning bc a bitch is tired lmao)

(gif credit to @lindir)

A = Aftercare.

Laszlo is such an aftercare king. He’s checking on you in every way he can think of: asking you if you feel alright, maybe massaging your hips if he had you in a weird position, offering you dinner or wine, maybe even a hot bath, if you’d like (and the bath would have special perfumed oils he had sent from Paris because Laszlo is SUCH a self care whore, he’s got soaps and perfumes out the wazoo).

B = Body Part.

His favorite part of yours are your breasts. No questions, hands down. He likes using your breasts as a pillow at night— just settling himself between your legs and resting his head on your tits is a dream he indulges in frequently. He also really loves seeing you in the new French-style of dresses that have a lower neckline, and, if you wear one of those dresses to dinner without telling him beforehand, he’s as good as gone. He’s staring the whole time and can only manage simple sentences.

C = Cum.

I think Laszlo likes to cum inside you, but he also wouldn’t mind cumming on your tits. If you’re on your knees, sucking him off, he’ll pull himself out of your mouth and almost rip your blouse in his haste to set your tits free before his orgasm rips through him. He only chooses to cum inside you if he can’t cum on your tits (for example, if you’re having slow, kissy sex and he can’t bear to leave your wet heat).

D = Dirty Secret.

Laszlo. Loves. To. Be. Degraded. From a psychological standpoint, he understands that his desire to be brought down and ridiculed is born from some sort of childhood trauma that DEFINITELY involves his father, but he just can’t help himself from getting so ridiculously turned on when you call him a dog for humping your leg while you try to sleep. Bonus points if you use his title while you do it: “Just like a little bitch in heat, aren’t you, Doctor Kreizler? You’re so aroused, you can hardly handle yourself. Are you too dumb to touch your own cock? Do you need me to do it? Oh, Doctor, what a dumb little thing you are.”

E = Experience.

Even Daniel himself has said that Laszlo has like NO experience. Laszlo got ZERO bitches (which I find hard to believe but ok whatever you say, writers of The Alienist), so, the first time y’all have sex, he’s more likely than not losing his virginity (let’s not get into the debate of “virginity is a social construct” because a.) IT IS and b.) Laszlo would lecture for hours about this). HOWEVER, these things come naturally to him. He is just Good In Bed. He figures it out very quickly, so, while you make fun of him for going a little stupid when he’s aroused, he makes up for it by bruising your cervix and apologizing later.

F = Favourite Positions.

Laszlo loves that soft, slow, kissy sex, so he’s into whatever position makes it possible for him to be inside you and to kiss you at the same time. Missionary is a go to, but sometimes he’ll have you sit on his desk and kiss your neck as he hikes your skirts up and fucks you all slow and nice.

G = Goofy.

Hardly ever? Laszlo is pretty serious most of the time, and the only time we ever see him Not Serious in the show is when he’s wasted after John’s bachelor party in season 2. So, maybe y’all went to dinner at Delmonico’s, then a ball for members of high society, and he had a little too much champagne and schnapps. He’s not like giggling and all, but his cheeks are red and he’s smiling more than usual, and calling you sweet names “Oh, mein Kätzchen” and “Meine kleine Prinzessin”. That’s Laszlo’s version of goofy.

H = Hair.

OK, my train of thought here is: LOOK AT THIS MAN’S BEARD. HIS BEARD IS NICE AS SHIT. If he treats his facial hair that good— regular trims, the beard oils we all know he uses, even if it isn't strictly canon— then his downstairs hair is nice too. Definitely soft, if maybe a little wiry sometimes (but tbh whose isn’t), and it’s a nice little cropping at the base of his cock. He also has a thin happy trail up his soft tummy, and a good amount on his chest (as we see in the show lol that much is canon).

I = Intimacy.

Laszlo is ALL ABOUT intimacy. You’ll know he’s in a ~mood~ because you’ll ask what’s being served at Delmonico’s that night, and Laszlo is like “I thought we might stay in tonight. John gave me his grandmother’s recipe for chicken soup”. He’ll light candles and pour you wine and play nice music on his gramophone, and he’ll romance you throughout dinner with little hand touches and sly smiles, until he’s kneeling in front of you and slowly kissing up your leg.

J = Jack-Off.

Honestly, he hardly does it. Of course, I’m sure he did it A LOT before he met you, but now he doesn’t need to pleasure himself anymore. He’s got you to do that. The only exception is if he has to travel for work and you can’t go with him. Even then, he’ll hold off until he absolutely can’t stand it, and then he’ll like read a letter you sent him or look at a sketch that John did of you while he whacks off; sometimes, he’ll just hold your letter to his face, and the faint trace of your perfume is enough to do the job.

K = Kink.

He likes impact play a lot (and perhaps a little roleplay wrapped up in it). On the rare occasion that his fucking is anything but soft and lovely, he’s gonna be hitting your ass and the backs of your thighs as you cling to him while he rails you stupid. Laszlo would try to hit your cheek, but he feels too bad when you wince at the pain of it. Spanking your tits is good to him too. His favorite though (and here’s where the roleplay comes in), is caning your ass. He’ll bend you over the desk in his home office and pull your skirts up past your hips, and he’ll make you count the amount of times his thick wooden cane connects with your soft asscheeks. The roleplay is, more often than not, you were his assistant who did something wrong and needed to be punished. If you miss one or forget to thank him accordingly “Thank you, sir”, he’ll focus the next hit on your thighs.

L = Location.

Either the bed or his desk. Laszlo is a little older (I don’t think we ever get an explicit age? But if we say he’s the same age as Daniel, then he’s 40 to 42-ish) so he can’t do it against a wall or anywhere too crazy (not to mention his right arm can hardly support much weight, so if he needs to hold you up, it’s probably not gonna happen). The bed is a special time for you two because of his arm; he’ll hold himself up with his left arm and rest his hand on your hip or wherever to give himself at least a little leverage. But the desk is usually easier because you can sit, or you can bend over and he can grab your hip.

M = Motivation.

He loves you and wants to worship you. It’s truly as simple as that. He loves you and thinks that you’re the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen, and he wants to show his reverence for you by making love to you.

N = No.

He can’t get into the role of “daddy”, nor can he call you “mommy”. Childhood trauma aside, he will be goddamned if Sigmund fucking Freud is correct about his bullshit Oedipus complex or whatever, so he just eliminates that whole thing entirely.

O = Oral.

He’s very good at it. He’s just… His lips are soft and his beard is good, and he’s not afraid to get a little messy with it. He’ll eat you out until he absolutely has to come up for air, and he’ll have a little bit of your wetness clinging to his mustache, but then he’s right back in it. His medical degree is also put to good use here because he remembers his female anatomy and he’s locked onto your clit the entire time. The first time you ever squirted, it was because Laszlo was nipping at your clit and sucking your wet little hole and pressing his thick fingers into you, and it was A Lot To Process, but you squirted and Laszlo came in his pants instantly because he’s like “I didn’t think women could actually do that… I thought that was a thing that penny novels made up”

P = Pace.

Again, he’s a little older, so he doesn’t fuck like some wild boy. He takes his time with you, touching you and caressing you and kissing you, and his pace is the same way. He’s slow and gentle, but has the capacity to go faster and harder if you ask for it.

Q = Quickie.

Hates them. Never. Never ever ever. If he can’t properly romance you and take his time with you, then what’s the point??

R = Risk.

Surprisingly, Laszlo is a little schemer, and he loves running a risk. He’s already looked down upon by other society members, so what’s the harm in squeezing your ass at a party? PERHAPS it’s inappropriate to get caught in a dark corner with your hand down his trousers and him kissing your neck, but it’s easy to blame it on the alcohol.

S = Stamina.

Once more, he is firmly middle aged, so he can do one round— maybe two, if he’s feeling particularly frisky. Usually, though, one is more than enough for both of you.

T = Toy.

HAVE YALL SEEN SEX TOYS FROM THE 1890S?? SHITS ARE SCARY. Laszlo does not like toys, but he understands their need for existing, so he may not like them but he tolerates them. That being said, he likes to watch you use them. LIke, he’ll sit in a chair by the bed and request you “put on a good show”, and he’ll watch you fall apart, and he’ll only come and touch you if you beg and plead for him to.

U = Unfair.

Mhm, so, in Laszlo’s mind, sex and pleasure are not just a give and take, it’s a two way street. They can (and often need to) coexist. He doesn’t like to initiate something if you won’t be able to reciprocate, so he’s not too into teasing or things. At the aforementioned parties, he’ll only goose your ass if he knows you’re 100% down for it.

V = Volume.

He’s fairly quiet. His mouth is usually really close to your ear, and you’re the only one who gets to hear his pretty little noises. The loudest he’ll be is when he’s come home after traveling and it’s felt like ages since he’s made love to you, he’s gonna come inside you, and his little gasp and moan are louder than usual.

W = Wild Card.

He is down to be tied up. He doesn’t like to tie you up, but if he’s the one being restrained, he’s all over it. It’s nothing too intense, just using a ribbon for your hair to tie his left hand to the headboard, not super tight but enough to make his fingers a little tingly, but he loves it. He loves the switch of the dynamic, how he’s fully at your mercy and you can use him however you please; usually, you just suck him off and ride him, but the endless possibilities get him hard as soon as you pull out the ribbon.

X = X-Ray.

Laszlo has Big Dick Energy, so he has to have a big dick. The best example of this sort of energy is in the very first episode after he goes and interviews Wolf, and comes to speak to Teddy, and Teddy is like “you interviewed the suspect? On whose authority??” and laszlo is like “Mine” like OH HIS DICK IS BIG I KNOW IT. He’s got an above average length and girth, but we know our man likes to eat, so some of his weight goes to his dick, so it’s like,,, He’s got a fat cock, sorry, I don’t make the rules

Y = Yearning.

Constantly. Neverending. He’s at work and he’ll catch a glimpse of a pastel drawing that you commissioned from John for Laszlo’s birthday that sits in a frame on his desk, and his heart starts to hurt from missing you. When he comes home, he’ll embrace you and kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years, and he’ll want to hear all about your day. You have your doctor so whipped for you, and it’s a different kind of whipped than being pussy whipped. He’s, like, feelings whipped.

Z = ZZZ.

He’s a sleepy little baby after you guys finish. His eyes will be a little heavy and sticky as he’s cleaning up and caring for you (and you definitely coo at him “Oh, Las, you’re so sleepy!”) but when you’re both back in bed, our little man is circling his arm around your waist and nuzzling his cheek into your shoulder. He’s so soft and affectionate, and he’s out like a light when you kiss his forehead and tell him you love him.

[its-nebula]

V3 Boys x Pregnant S/O in the Killing Game

Warning: DRV3 Spoilers

“S/O is what?!”

He panics and freaks out.

Calms down as soon as you tell him that you’ll get through it with him. It’s just all the more reason to survive.

“But Gonta… no can put child in this hell!”

He has a fire in his eyes that you honestly wouldn’t expect from him. You have to try your hardest to convince him not to fight Monokuma, out of fear of him being punished.

“Gonta will try to survive…for Gonta and S/O’s kid.”

He carries you everywhere from now on, not wanting you to strain yourself. If you ask, he puts you down, but will hold you and keep you close by.

During Class Trials, he immediately shuts any suspicion down.

“S/O can’t be culprit! Was with Gonta!”

You tell him to be wary of Kokichi, as you think Kokichi doesn’t have good intentions with your boyfriend. He just gives you a smile.

“Kokichi wants to end killing game just as much as Gonta!”

When all of you go in the simulation, Gonta makes sure you’re okay and that the baby’s okay. You don’t exactly look pregnant in the simulation, but he still makes sure. After that, he goes off to watch Kokichi, and you’re left to explore on your own.

To make a long story short, when Miu was killed, you noticed Kokichi giving you the side-eye, but didn’t say anything to him. You could tell he knew something that you didn’t.

During the Class Trial, the “Killing Game Busters” were revealed. You didn’t want to believe it was Gonta. You really didn’t. He would never hurt someone like that without a purpose…

“S/O, take care of Gonta’s baby. Gonta will be watching over you and baby!”

You sobbed as you watched his execution. The father of your child was burned alive, and he was never coming back.

Instantly, you unleashed all your rage onto Kokichi and his crocodile tears. Several people had to pull you off of him, claiming that the stress wouldn’t be good for the baby.

Besides, you could hit Kokichi with all the punches in the world, but nothing would bring him back…

 Laughs when you tell him about it.

Laughs the second time you tell him about it.

“It is even funnier the second time!”

Doesn’t laugh the third time.

“Wait a minute. You can’t be serious-?!”

Hope you valued your alone time while it lasted, because that is now a thing of the past!

MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!

Lets everyone know that they’re not even allowed near you. He keeps you in his room at all times, you barely even get to sleep in your own bed anymore.

He only really lets you out during Class Trials, and even then he convinces Monokuma to put his podium next to yours.

Constantly talks about how happy he is that he’s going to be a father, to the point everybody knows. Even the Monokubs are a little bit annoyed.  So much for keeping it a secret.

“Hmm, nope! It can’t be me, sorry! I was too busy spending time with my child and my girlfriend~”

His logic is that since you’re pregnant, maybe nobody would kill you because they would feel too bad, so he doesn’t really mind screaming it to the world.

The longer the game goes on, though, the more fucked up things he feels compelled to do, in his efforts to try and stop the killing game.

You practically scream at him when he pretends to be dead.

“Aw, don’t worry your pretty little head! I’m alright, aren’t I?”

Maki keeps sending her threats for him to you.

“If you want to raise the child with a stable 2-Parent family, I suggest you calm your boyfriend down.”

During the fifth trial, things are very tense. Either way, your boyfriend was either dead or going to die. You knew it was all a part of his scheme, but you still thought this was a step too far.

When Kaito was revealed in the Exisal, you bawled your eyes out.

Even as Shuichi explained Kokichi’s thought process, it made nothing better.

You didn’t even get to say goodbye…

And your child would never meet his father.

Wait, you’re what?

Oh no.

In a killing game?!

Oh no.

And he’s the father???

Oh NO.

You’re surprised that he doesn’t faint, by the way he’s acting.

“S/O, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, really!”

You tell him that it’s okay, because you know he’ll make a great parent. You’ve made him a little more confident, but not by a lot.

“We should probably keep this a secret for now. You can never really be too careful in these circumstances.”

Everyone can tell something’s off with him, because he gets really bad Couvade syndrome.

He still tries to help you as much as he can. If you’re craving something he brings you it almost immediately.

If your stomach moves even a tiny bit, he assumes the baby is coming even though he knows better. You have to tell him that it’s only a kick and he needs to take it down a couple of notches.

“Heh…sorry.”

His anxiety is through the ROOF.

Still tries to work on it. He’s got to be strong for you.

Trains with Kaito to help him become stronger, and brings you along with him.

“Hey Shuichi, don’t you think S/O might want to train with us?”

“It’s okay Kaito, S/O gets really sleepy during this time.”

Tries his hardest during class trials. He can’t afford to take shit from anybody and risk getting you killed. Hits the killers with the hard facts and evidence.

Investigates with you by his side.

“Now the baby can see his father in action!”

At the 6th Trial, he reveals your pregnancy, even though Tsumugi already knew.

Nobody else did. How? Guess they weren’t paying attention to your ever-increasing stomach.

When everyone ducks under rocks, Shuichi shields you with his body for extra protection. After the two of you make it out alive, along with Maki and Himiko, the 4 of you go off to start a new life together.

“WHAAAATTTT?!”

Thinks you cheated on him.

He’s very hurt.

You spend almost an hour convincing him that he’s the only one you’ve ever been with. He still doesn’t really believe it, but there’s only one thing to do.

The two of you consult Miu to figure out what in the hell is going on.

“Miu! I never wanted to actually have sperm and be able to create life! Now our child is going to be born in such horrible conditions!”

“Well, be more fuckin’ clear next time, and wrap it up when you get your dick wet, why don’t you?!”

Looks on the bright side.

He was able to get you pregnant, something no other robot was able to do before! That’s a complete win!

You’re still stuck in this school, though, and this was no place to raise a child.

“Robots aren’t allowed to hurt humans, and I can’t risk you killing someone and losing the trial��”

He helps you the best that he can. He gives you any medicine that he can find, and he lets you use him as a heating pad.

Scans daily to see your state of health. Sometimes more than necessary…

“I just did this scan 5 minutes ago? Oh, I hadn’t noticed…”

Takes pictures of your stomach every day to monitor your growth.

Kokichi always makes fun of the two of you.

“Well, I guess that answers my question! Robots do have dicks! Hey S/O, was it all cold and metallic?”

“…that’s not funny.”

When it was revealed during the 6th Trial about Danganronpa, he was conflicted.

The voices in his head– the audience– told him all different things. He was tired, he just wanted to be free. He didn’t want your child to grow up in a world like this.

“S/O, if this continues, and the kid we created joins a future season, I’d never forgive myself. It’s time to end this. Please, when you see them, let them know their father loves them so.”

He sacrificed himself by blowing up the school. As he saw his friends and his significant other huddled beneath a rock, he grinned, knowing they were going to be okay.

Scoffs.

“Well, that’s just my luck that I would cause you to have to bring a new life into this horrible world.”

He’s honestly pretty upset over the whole thing for at least a couple days.

But then he realizes it; he can raise them to be better than he ever was or had a chance at being. He can teach them to do better.

This makes him happy, and he apologizes for being so stand-offish.

“Looks like… we’ve still got a ways to go.”

When the two of you lay down together, he always lays down in a way that his ear is directly pressed against you stomach.

He talks to the child a lot.

“Don’t worry, little one. We’ll get you and everyone else out of here and to safety. I love you so much.”

Truth be told, he’s a little scared that he’s a  threat to the kid. After what happened in his past, what happened to his family, what happened to his lover…

You tell him to try to not think about it, and you know that he’s learned from the past.

The two of you only tell a couple people that you trust; namely, Shuichi and Kirumi. They’re both really happy for you!

Kirumi helps out a lot by getting you whatever you need for the day. She doesn’t get at all bothered by your morning sickness, and even offers to clean.

After the motive videos come out, Ryoma watches his and though he’s a little hurt, it doesn’t stop his determination to leave.

While she’s cleaning Ryoma’s room, Ryoma confides in her for advice.

“I feel like…I won’t be enough for our kid. Look at me now, I’m nothing more than an empty shell. I just… want to be enough for our family.”

SLAM!

Ryoma fell to the ground with a light thud, and that was the last anybody ever heard from him.

Crying out as you saw the piranhas tear away his flesh, you fainted on the spot.

You didn’t even have time to investigate, because the Class Trial had started.

You appreciated how seriously Kirumi was taking this trial. She kept making glances at you, but you assumed it was because she felt bad that your child would have to be without a father.

Until…

No, it couldn’t be. She’d gained your trust, only to betray you in the end? What kind of sick joke was this?!

As she was executed, you looked down at your stomach, rubbing it.

“Looks like we’ve still got a ways to go, kid…”

Wildly switching between happy, sad, and terrified.

On the one hand, he’s happy to be a father to your child. You were the love of his life, and he wanted to do his part and take care of the kid.

On the other hand, when you tell him the news, he paces back and forth, trying to find a way to get you to be as safe as possible. He already survived one killing game, how hard could it be to let the two of you be the last survivors again?

He asked Monokuma to see if you could have the easy way out.

“Monokuma, I know you probably want me to still participate, but my girlfriend, she’s pregnant now, so can you please just-”

“Puhuhuhu~! All applications made are final, buddy! It looks like we may just have another member in a short 9 months! Well, the more the merrier!”

Shit.

After that “lovely” conversation, Rantaro was more determined than ever to find a way out of the game.

He’d already lost his sisters, and he wouldn’t dream of losing you and the child too.

When the countdown motive for the first murder is introduced, he parts with you for just a few minutes, to record the videos that you and your other classmates would later find. He wanders in the library in order to do something, but he’s distracted when a shot put ball falls behind him. As he goes to pick it up, he’s struck in the back of the head.

Finding his body, you wanted to throw up, and not from morning sickness. 

Nobody knew of your pregnancy yet, so nobody really knew how deep into despair you’d fallen.

Though, they still felt sorry for you, because it was obvious the two of you were together.

You didn’t feel right being angry at Kaede when she was revealed as the culprit, especially as she showed deep remorse.

“I didn’t mean it, S/O. I’m so sorry…”

Tears pricked your eyes as she was snatched back by the chains.

You forgive her.

Over the moon at first.

Yes, that’s a pun. Shut up, I know it’s bad.

This man is DANCING while he’s celebrating.

“WOO! I”M GONNA BE A FATHER!”

He’s loud enough that everyone knows within 10 minutes of you telling him.

Well.

When he has some alone time, he frowns to himself. He’s sick, What if he doesn’t live long enough to see their smiling face for the first time? Hear their first laugh?

These invasive thoughts clouded his mind, as he started to cough up blood.

“D-Damn it…”

Kaito decided not to tell you, not just because he’s an idiot, but he doesn’t want you to stress and possibly cause damage to the child.

He talks to your stomach everyday.

“What’s up, my little star!”

He’s extremely proud and isn’t afraid to show you off.

The more ill he gets, the more hope he has that you’ll be just fine. You have to be!

After he’s locked in the bathroom, he tries to find a way out. Any way out, he needed to make sure you were safe. Kokichi couldn’t keep him locked up forever! 

When he and Kokichi make their deal, he does it in your interest.

“If Monokuma can’t solve the murder, I’ll finally get to walk out of here and start my family! Right?!”

But their plan failed. As you watched his execution, you screamed, pounding on the screen, begging Monokuma to let him go, please. You’d do anything! Soon, his coughing got worse, and he was soon on the ground, pink all around him. He’d died of his own accord.

You smiled happily at the bittersweet moment. He died of his own accord, no longer a part of Monokuma’s twisted game.

You knew he was above, watching you from the stars.

“Did you say you’re pregnant…? My, what an interesting turn of events!”

Did this man just say it was interesting?

You told him that this was serious, and that you needed to find a way out of here now.

“Keheehee... you don’t really think I’d let anything happen to you, do you? It’s clear Monokuma won’t let us go, even under these circumstances. Besides, I have my own kin developing inside your body, you need extra attention now!”

He will literally give you a tsunami of compliments everyday about how your body seems to be handling the pregnancy.

“S/O, your body is just so radiant today!”

Tells you stories about motherhood in other cultures.

Knows the best herbal remedies to calm symptoms such as headaches or nausea.

Nervous that you keep having to go to the bathroom, guides you there and back.

You really don’t know why he completely lost his shit by killing Angie and Tenko.

You convinced yourself that it was because of the oppressive student council, but why Tenko?

As he revealed his true self, you were horrified. He...was a serial killer?

The Korekiyo you came to love was a serial killer?

You were thrown into despair as you came to terms with his true colors. Nothing made sense anymore. Not only was your boyfriend and father of your first-born child dead, but he’d been batshit insane this entire time?

Maybe the next time you see red rope and hear a promise of “pleasure like you’ve never experienced”, you’ll politely decline.

[vickysaurus]

What if season 5 was two seasons?

So watching through season 5, I kept noticing how fast the pacing had to be with the amount plot threads there were and how often I went ‘I wish we saw more of X’. So as I’ve mentioned a couple of times, I’ve started wondering if it might’ve been better if its story had been spread over two seasons rather than one. Now, obviously I understand that kind of change would not have been in the crew’s hands and no matter what they wanted would likely have been impossible. This is not intended as a ‘they should’ve just done this’ but as a thought experiment. Would a sixth season even have worked? So I’m gonna try and figure out how season 5′s content might’ve been done over two seasons in an alternate universe. In order to keep straight how far in the seasons we are, I’m gonna number the episodes 5-1 to 5-13 and 6-1 to 6-13 for clarity.

-5-1: We’re gonna start off immediately inserting an extra episode: The Fall of Bright Moon. Rather than a time skip, we get to see the first days of the invasion and the evacuation of Bright Moon in the face of overwhelming force. Micah has to switch back into being king, Adora has to deal with losing She-Ra, Bow has to deal with losing Glimmer. There’s a major subplot about Scorpia working up the courage to apologise to Entrapta and the two of them reconnecting. Perfuma probably helps her with that. That sounds like a pretty busy episode, but I think the first two Velvet Glove scenes from Horde Prime should probably be moved to it to not just leave Catra and Glimmer hanging completely.

-5-2 to 5-4: Horde Prime, Launch, and Corridors stay mostly the same. Since I moved the first Velvet Glove scenes to 5-1 and we can probably cut a bit of exposition from Horde Prime with the addition of that episode, these episodes get a couple minutes extra, which is split between an extra Glimmer and Catra in jail scene and some more of Scorpia and Entrapta’s friendship in Launch.

-5-5 and 5-6: An extra season gives us time for worldbuilding and more of the new characters, and since I like the Star siblings I’m gonna selfishly give them a bunch more screen time. The plan to save Catra takes more preparation in this version, leading Best Friend Squad and the Star siblings to go on an adventure on another planet after Stranded, one that is under Horde occupation but hasn’t been destroyed by them. They’re there for either information or some kind of device they’ll need to get on the Velvet Glove, but end up sowing the seeds for a local rebellion on the planet. We’ll see more of that plot later on.

-5-7: Save the Cat. It’s perfect as is.

-5-8: Taking Control’s A plot, enhanced with some scenes from Don’t Go into a full episode.

-5-9: This is where Taking Control’s B plot with the chipped Etherians goes. To go with it, Best Friend Squad is going on another space adventure after a rendez-vous with the Star siblings while they try and escape the Horde. I’m thinking maybe Hordak could be one of the clones searching for them, and while he doesn’t come face-to-face with Entrapta we could see some more of his conflicting feelings building in the course of this. Just a moment’s hesitation on his part allows Best Friend Squad to escape. Catra befriending Glimmer and Bow is a major part of this episode, and it basically bridges the gap between the little overtures between them in Taking Control and Catra as a part of Best Friend Squad in Shot in the Dark.

-5-10: Kyle, Lonnie, and Rogelio only get a cameo in season 5, and that’s something I really want to change. I want to give them a ‘Lower Decks’ episode where they’re basically just trying to go about their lives post-Horde but rapidly discovering the war is impossible to ignore. I feel like we don’t see enough of the normal Etherians in general, and I think these three are a great way to show how they’re doing.

-5-11: Perils of Peekablue. However, the scene at the end where it turns out Micah is already chipped and so are enormous amounts of Etherians doesn’t happen yet.

-5-12 and 5-13: So now I need to have a big season finale happen, and unfortunately Shot In The Dark, while a great episode, is also a little too low-energy to fit the bill. So what I’m gonna do is make it the B-plot of a finale two-parter. The A-plot is set on Etheria, and is basically some big climactic business where the Princesses, General Juliet, (remember her?) and many common Etherians take the fight back to the chipped princesses, and things go well until disaster strikes and Micah gets chipped. Pretty vague, I know. The ‘Lower Decks’ episode we did sets up a lot of the plot here; Lonnie, Rogelio, and Kyle are probably involved in it. The two-parter ends with the big ‘Oh fuck everyone’s chipped’ moment at the end of Perils of Peekablueas the big season-ending cliffhanger. After that scene, we switch to Best Friend Squad landing on Etheria, and that’s how season 5 ends.

-6-1: I think An Ill Wind would be a solid season opener as is.

-6-2 to 6-10: Yeah, I’m gonna take this whole block of episodes in one go, because this is where it gets complicated. Return to the Fright Zone and Failsafe take place in this block, but it’s beyond my ability to figure out the full plot developments of this entire season. While for season 5 I can keep to the structure of Best Friend Squad’s space adventure, season 6 is gonna be a lot more freeform, and would presumably have major plot elements added. Here’s my thoughts on these nine episodes:

-The chipped princesses get unchipped earlier. They provide good heartwrenching moments, cool bossfights, and allow for major villains ranking below Prime without having to introduce new characters, but I think ultimately it does the chipped princesses a disservice since they just don’t get to show character in the second half of the season. Just compare how well we know Netossa as a character with how well we know Spinnerella. So they get unchipped over the course of these episodes and get to be with the Rebellion again afterwards. Mermista and Spinnerella get unchipped the same way as in canon. Scorpia actually gets to talk while chipped and has a heartwrenching confrontation with Catra in which she basically responds in the worst possible ways to Catra’s regrets (the same way we saw chipped Catra basically being am expression of her worst traits) and they have a fight that’s super rough for Catra, but Catra manages to damage her chip and save her. They have a better chat afterwards, and that’s when they make up and hug it out. I think Micah is the last one to be unchipped, and I might actually keep him chipped until Heart, Part 1 so Glimmer still gets that climactic confrontation with him. Now, a possible concern is that this means there’s just not gonna be enough ‘bosses’ around to fight in Heart. Solutions to this could include for example advanced robots, chipped minor characters like Huntara, Dumbface Octavia, and alien monsters. Maybe Hordak? Though I definitely want him back on the Velvet Glove’s bridge in time to give Prime his date with gravity.

-So that’s sort of the major arc, but there are several characters and plot threads that I feel could easily be an episode’s A- or B-plot in this bunch:

*Catra is mortified when she realises she caused Angella’s death and has a big freak-out over it and tries to run away, Glimmer confronts her and they deal with their feelings on the matter

*Another Kyle, Lonnie, and Rogelio episode

*A Wrong Hordak episode where he discovers his own identity and picks a name, also feat. Entrapta’s attempts to reach out to Hordak

*Madame Razz episode where Adora tries to get her help, possibly involving the Crystal Castle and George and Lance

*Sea Hawk and Double Trouble drama kids adventure where they try to save Mermista (I think Mermista vs. Sea Hawk and Mermista being unchipped gets moved to the end of this episode). These two were delightful for the little time we saw them together in Perils of Peekablue and I want Sea Hawk to somehow rope Double Trouble into an adventure.

*All the space adventures and world building I put in season 5 coming to a head when some form of space reinforcements led by the Star siblings come to help.

*And of course Return to the Fright Zone and Failsafe.

-6-11 to 6-13: Heart is now a three-parter, deal with it. Horde Prime is beaten at the end of part 2, or more likely the start of part 3, and the rest of part 3 is that sweet dénouement I crave.

So with all that laid out, let’s return to the question: would this work? I think if it had originally been written to be two seasons, the story could have easily worked for two. As is, I’m retrofitting a single season to be two, so some of the stuff I’ve added sounds rather redundant or vague. There are certainly enough plotlines and characters to make a split work, but of course those would’ve had to have been written into the plot from the start to not feel tacked on. Of course, brevity is the soul of wit, so even if two seasons had been an option, it’s quite possible a single that has too little time is still better than two that have too much.

[puppy-phum]

#10YearPromise - pingxie blabberings

bc i wasn’t able to answer these questions throughout the week (as i’ve been traveling around while being extremely busy), i decided to just collect all of my answers under one post! i never tire talking about pingxie so this was extremely enjoyable ♥ am also practicing some very shameless self promo in this so be prepared!

thank you for @laireshi​ for organizing this event (i take it’s you alone? am not sure, sorry for my laziness) and being amazing in general ^^ i won’t be able to join as i am still very busy and summer is always pure chaos for me, so i can only hope that other ppl have fun! if you are not aware of 10 Year Promise Pingxie Exchange, you can find the original announcement post here. join in if you have the time and inspiration ^^ 

and then to my answers which i will be placing under the cut bc i don’t want to flood anyone’s dash with me going bonkers over these two idiots. enjoy tho if you decide to read this :’D ♥

I. What made you ship pingxie?

Back when I got into Reboot bc of ZYL (as has happened to many ppl probably) and then saw stuff about pingxie once I started going through that drama’s tag on tumblr, my first thought about them was that they had to be a crack ship. The way Reboot portrays them as well as their actors and their huuuge age difference affected this a lot, and I was actually cackling at them bc all their moments in Reboot made me just go “oh, socialist brotherhood at its best” in my head. But then I finished watching Reboot’s 1st season (as the 2nd one wasn’t out yet) and started reading some fics. I learned more about them and the canon storyline. I learned how damn devoted they are to each other, and after that, many moments in Reboot gained new meaning in my eyes. So, I think what made me ship pingxie was a mix of Reboot (especially the hallucination moment where Xiaoge dies and Wu Xie loses it bc that’s my jam as I later on became to notice) and then the amazing fics I dug out during that time. After that the love grew stronger as I watched the other dramas, and these days I’m a lost cause. I feel like I spend most of my awake time thinking about these two and their love. They are amazing. I cry rivers for them.

II. Which pingxie version is your favorite?

After finding pingxie, I fell in love with them properly during TLT2. There is just something about that stage of their relationship for me, the stage where both of them are still very tentative about everything but they have deep down accepted that they’re tied now. Wu Xie is figuring out so many things, coming to terms with being betrayed by his uncle and slowly realizing that something bigger is going on behind the scenes. Meanwhile, Xiaoge is learning how to trust Wu Xie and how to accept that he cannot leave this naïve boy behind. It feels very fragile, and I have so many emotions about TLT2 bc of this. Xiaoge is so soft and feels very multilayered. Wu Xie is still his naïve self but is slowly gaining some sharper edges as he comes to face the cruel world. I like how Cheng Yi and Hou Minghao have portrayed this dynamic. Also, TLT2 is just very extra with all the pingxie scenes, who would be able to resist loving them? So, I have to admit that my favorite pingxie is these two, tho Ultimate Note comes very, very close.

III. What’s your favorite pingxie headcanon?

Headcanons are a bit hard for me as I don’t know enough of the canon. I have not read the novels so most of the story I’ve just patched together from all the bits I’ve read from somewhere (here, on twt, in fics) and through the scenes the dramas have shown me. I feel like the whole world is lowkey made of headcanons for me :’D But hmm, my favorite pingxie headcanon… I’d say there are two and then one bonus bc it’s more a Wu Xie related headcanon than just pingxie. The first one is that the pingxie confession happens after the Bronze Gate. It feels like the only moment when they’re both ready for such a thing. I’d say Xiaoge comes to realize his own feelings a lot earlier and he might tell something to unconscious Wu Xie before leaving for ten years, but he will not actually leave Wu Xie with such a burden. He doesn’t want to ask anything when it sounds like he doesn’t even believe that Wu Xie will be willing to wait for him, and I’d say that for him, his feelings are going to be fine even if Wu Xie never learns about them. He might even wish that Wu Xie never learns about them bc he’s not able to promise much as an immortal and amnesiac being (he outlives Wu Xie, most likely forgets him). For Wu Xie however, I’d say he needs time. He really is way too naïve and I’d say that he needs those ten years to realize that he’s in love with his best friend. I dunno who confesses first after Xiaoge returns but I think that only after that decade their relationship is “mature” enough to hold the weight of a confession (even if I also love to play around with the thought of them getting together during the events of Ultimate Note bc that drama offered many good chances for that). Another headcanon for me is that Xiaoge will find a way to die when Wu Xie does. After learning about them more, I feel like Reboot implies this too. Xiaoge is very accepting of Wu Xie’s death but in the last moments, when he really thinks that this is going to be it for Wu Xie, he hesitates. We see a spark of desperation there, and I’ve come to think that his initial plan, the plan he came up with once he got that call from Wu Xie and knew he would join Wu Xie on his last adventure, was to see this through for Wu Xie’s sake and then leave and die alone. I don’t know how much there would be left for Zhang Qiling after Wu Xie is gone. I feel like this is also what Wu Xie fears. But would he really resent Xiaoge for joining him in death after living such a long and hard life? I’d say no and I’d say that even Pangzi accepts this as one of the most likely outcomes. The bonus one then feels very personal to me. I don’t usually talk about this bc I feel so unsure of even mentioning this but I’ve seen others with similar thoughts so am sharing! I’ve never before gotten any vibes about a character’s sexuality in a drama I’ve watched but Reboot Wu Xie looked at me once in the eye and all I could hear was my brain yelling “asexual”. So, that is just my personal headcanon for Wu Xie. He’s ace and proud of it. He can flirt etc. but sex makes him go naah. He doesn’t need it or want it. He can appreciate beauty and hot ppl without wanting to sleep with them and I think his relationship with Xiaoge fits very well into this. I don’t have any personal experiences with being ace but I feel like Wu Xie has read the name once, shrugged and gone, “guess that’s me” and continued on with his life. He’s badass like that and I love him for it. (take a very relevant meme lol from this post)

IV. What’s the ideal pingxie date?

Ah, christ. I dunno if I’ve ever thought about them going on a date? In the middle of tomb raiding, hospital trips and fighting against powers bigger than themselves, I’ve rarely seen any time for them to do something like that lol. But after Ultimate Note, I’ve thought about star gazing a lot. Just them, the infinite night sky and some lonely hilltop. They would probably take a blanket with them, huddle together and talk about things in hushed voices. Wu Xie would go on a ramble about all the constellations and their meanings and mythology behind them and Xiaoge would just nod at him and watch Wu Xie talking. Maybe he would offer some tidbits in the middle of the rambling, making Wu Xie smile brightly. It would be relaxing and comfortable and loving. They would make out a lil bit. Would maybe lie down and play with each other’s hair. All their worries would feel insignificant. Wu Xie would fall asleep for a moment and Xiaoge would wake him up with a kiss to get him moving again so that they don’t need to sleep on the cold ground. They would return home and drink something warm and then go to sleep, cuddled together and happy. relevant edit x

V. What’s your favorite pingxie getting together scenario?

I guess I already talked about this a bit but let me elaborate then! As said, I’d see it happening after the Bronze Gate. I am not sure if it would be right away (they’re both going through so much trauma at that point) or if it would happen after Reboot (maybe we would still need Wu Xie almost dying for them to get their shit together), but I’d say it happens in a rush either way. It’s one of those “I have to tell you something before it’s too late” -type of moments. Or one of those “Bc I love you, you idiot!” -type of moments. I feel like I keep thinking that maybe Wu Xie would have to confess first bc as said, Xiaoge wouldn’t like to burden Wu Xie with his feelings when there’s so little he can give in the sense of normalcy. But then again, I have written a oneshot where Xiaoge is the first one to confess and that always feels better for me. That at some point Xiaoge feels secure enough to tell Wu Xie about his own feelings. That he feels confident and comfortable enough to say it out loud while still expecting nothing in return bc he knows that Wu Xie won’t abandon him either way. But no matter how that happens, I always see it as this dam breaking. The emotions finally become too strong. Something happens that reminds them that life is too short. Something happens that makes them finally talk it out and ah, Pangzi can finally take a break, what a joy

VI. What’s your favorite pingxie moment?

Every adaptation has its own good moments so let me make a list (like I saw someone else do too):

The Lost Tomb:

Xiaoge rescues Wu Xie from the shibie

Wu Xie worrying over unconscious Xiaoge plus taking care of him in the hotel room

The Pingxie MomentTM aka Xiaoge saving Wu Xie from falling and then cradling the boy to his chest while thumb rubbing his shoulder

The Lost Tomb 2:

Xiaoge revealed to be Baldie and Wu Xie yelling at him about it

Lowkey the whole underwater tomb arc bc holy shit that’s gay

Wu Xie losing it when Xiaoge doesn’t come up from the underwater tomb, diving after him and then almost dying himself + Pangzi getting angry at him for being stupid

pingxie ft. magical skype in the bronze tree cave (and Xiaoge being emo about the 1000yo warrior guy right before that)

Xiaoge rescuing Wu Xie from drowning (they shared air, you cannot convince me otherwise) + Wu Xie giving Xiaoge his watch in the hospital (relevant edits x x)

Wu Xie’s face when he sees Zhang Buxun in the coffin bc I love pain :)

Xiaoge not shooting Wu Xie despite not remembering him in the mountain village

Wu Xie grabbing Xiaoge’s jacket after being kidnapped and the Iron Triangle reunites in that old Chen guy’s cabin, asking, “Is that you?” from Xiaoge to make sure that he remembers again while looking like the biggest puppy (relevant edit x)

also some relevant memes x

Ultimate Note:

The hand over mouth reunion in the Golmud Sanatorium

“Xiaoge will ignore anyone else but you”

Xiaoge pretending he isn’t Losing ItTM throughout the whole time Wu Xie is in the Devil’s City with A-Ning

more hand over mouth with the gigantic snake

“The goddess has ascended”

Wu Xie protecting Xiaoge after he returns from the jade meteorite 

“Do you remember me?” “Wu Xie.”

Wu Xie promising to help Xiaoge find his memories no matter what bc Xiaoge’s business is Wu Xie’s business 

“Maybe you can return home with a wife today.” Wu Xie: proceeds to stare at Xiaoge, horrified

“Take me home.”

The sword gifting scene (especially Xiaoge denying the possibility of him killing Wu Xie or them harming each other, relevant edits x x)

other relevant edits for ultimate note x x

Reboot:

Wu Xie telling Xiaoge about his sickness and then Xiaoge coming back and promising to join Wu Xie on his trip (relevant edit x)

the death hallucination bc am a masochist 

Wu Xie’s death dream where Xiaoge calls to him but then accepts his choice to move forward bc am a masochist pt. 2

pingxie reunion in the Thunder City forest where Xiaoge saves Wu Xie & co. from the poisonous gas 

the moment in Thunder City where Wu Xie sits outside at night, eating the peanuts Pangzi gave him and then notices Xiaoge, offering him the peanuts and smiling 

when Xiaoge leaves for the last time and then gets reunited with healed Wu Xie against all odds

the train scene and their softest smiles to each other  

Time Raiders:

Wu Xie being the best bean and just wanting to befriend this mysterious man while seeing right under his skin and making Xiaoge baffled and fall in love in approximately 0.5 seconds

Xiaoge, catch! *proceeds to save only Wu Xie when they fall into that shibie horror chamber*  

Xiaoge’s desperation to save Wu Xie from the crumbling ground 

their death waltz at the end of the movie plus Xiaoge’s sacrifice

+ Sand Sea: 

“Don’t you dare call him Xiaoge!” 

Wu Xie offering his friends and then himself as comfort to Li Cu when he’s scared while smiling very softly at the memory of Xiaoge 

“But isn’t his surname Wu?” Hei Xiazi: You have seen nothing yet, you sweet summer child

Wu Xie talking about Xiaoge’s past in the temple (aka the Tibetan Sea Flower story bc I just adore how pretty they’ve made those scenes) 

VII. What is the best gift Wu Xie and Xiaoge could give each other?

I haven’t really thought about this type of stuff either bc we have already seen a ton of gifts being exchanged! I love the watch Wu Xie gives to Xiaoge in TLT2 as mentioned (it’s so silly but also so sweet) and I love it that Wu Xie gifts Xiaoge with a new sword in Ultimate Note. Also, I feel like I can count the food Wu Xie leaves for Xiaoge in Ultimate Note and that one moment where Xiaoge offers his knife for Wu Xie as a “pen”. They would give anything for each other as long as the other asked (which they never do) so I dunno what type of gift would matter the most. As it’s so hard to say, let me talk about one more headcanon that I’ve been thinking about ever since the infamous Bazaar photoshoot for Ultimate Note/XYL & ZSX. So, we see them having matching rings and necklaces in that photoshoot. I think jewelry would be kind of difficult for Xiaoge to wear when he needs to fight, as jewelry could be a hindrance in that type of situation But my brain won’t shut up about “pingxie married!!!” when I ask this question from it. To be honest, I do not see pingxie getting married in the traditional sense. They don’t need something like that after everything they’ve gone through. But I like to play around with the thought of promise rings. Just them exchanging rings for fun, for their own sakes, to have something concrete that reminds them of their promise to each other and of their feelings. Maybe even Xiaoge could wear that ring under his gloves idk. But am a sucker for that thought so my answer to this is then simply: a ring. relevant edits x x

if you read this far, thank you so much! I hope this gave you something and thank you once more for organizing this and allowing everyone to share their love for pingxie ^^ ♥

[leqclerc]

Just a random thought, if charles were to move teams mid contract (which i doubt and ive kinda grown attached to ferrari) where do you think he’d most likely end up? 🤔

Since this discussion is back on the dash again I figured I’d sit down and actually try to write something semi coherent about this asjdfj

First of all, you’re absolutely right - he’s just intrinsically linked with Ferrari through the FDA and Prema and Jules and Seb and it’s difficult to picture him in a different team, wearing anything other than red (funnily enough, all of his previous race suits, at least in F1/2 have had bits of red on them.) Secondly, I don’t think he’s going to move mid-contract. 2020 was pretty much the worst it’s gonna get (fucking hopefully @ Ferrari). They know they can’t afford to slip down the ranks that drastically again (at least in the near future) because 1. it was embarrassing and terrible for the team/brand, 2. they would risk losing their star driver. So, I think he’s going to let his 5 year contract run its course and then evaluate his options in, like, the last year of his contract or somewhere around then.

As @scharletred pointed out, I have faith in Charles. I just don’t want to see him be let down by the team through poor management (seriously, sack the dude already), bad strategy, an underperforming car, poor working environment, and just general clownery and incompetence. As a driver, he can do a lot - he’s put both the SF90 and the SF21 on pole on numerous occasions and shocked everyone by outperforming the nightmare that was SF1000 and planting it on grid spots it had no business being in. But he can’t do everything on his own. He can influence strategy calls (and tbf he was asked by his engineer which plan he prefers, for example) but he has virtually no control over things like pit stops or tyre degradation (which is something the car has been struggling with so far this season and he’s acknowledged it) or, crucially, race pace (which is an area they’ve also been lacking in and it showed in Baku despite Charles’s best efforts.)

B*notto just isn’t a competent, well-rounded leader for the long-term. He’s thrown Charles under the bus before and he’ll do it again (speaking about the race in Baku he said “We’ve been [in trouble] maybe a bit more than we should. Then we complicated our race via the drivers themselves.” Yeah, Carlos made a costly mistake and never really recovered but Charles did pretty much all he could given the situation? Wtf?). Sure, all TPs have their moments where they say just a bit too much and are publicly unfair to their driver/s, but the man really needs to stop being such a hindrance on their way to success.

Anyway. I think he’ll stick it out with them at least until his contract runs out. From the sounds of things they’re focusing most of their efforts and dedicating most of their resources towards developing the 2022 car and, you know what, good for them. If they give Charles a competitive car and a reliable team, he can do wonders. And I hope we’ll get to see him shine and fulfill his dream.

As for alternatives...it’s hard to tell. I mean we still don’t know how the new regulations will impact the teams and what the extent of the resulting shake-up will be. The current top dogs might become midfielders while the midfielders might become the top dogs. I know that after almost an entire decade anything other than Mercedes domination (with Red Bull and occasionally Ferrari nipping at their heels) seems unfathomable, but you have to remember, they were absolutely nowhere before the hybrid era. Look at what a seemingly insignificant reg change for 2021 can do to the grid - you’ve got Mercedes struggling and Toto going on the offensive and whinging about flexi wings, Aston being totally lost for the first like four races straight due to the rake issue, Red Bull leading in the standings. Even this time last year that scenario seemed unlikely. Hell, with all the rumours swirling around, we don’t even know for sure if Mercedes will still be Mercedes next year or if they’ll rebrand to some Ineos F1 Team...thing.

Charles is undeniably a hot property (in more ways than one, you know what I’m sayin’) and I’m sure if/when he becomes available the top teams will be very interested in at least sitting down to talk to him. I can’t really see him moving to Red Bull since - apart from Checo - they tend to go for drivers from within their own family and they’ve got lots of promising young drivers waiting in the wings. Also the environment is like notoriously hostile and I think Charles values himself too much to be pitted against Max (assuming he stays with them for longer) in the way that Daniel, Alex, and Pierre were.

McLaren also seem committed to their drivers - and, more importantly, to their new team philosophy and maintaining this image of being the young hip carefree “fun” team. They were actively itching to recruit Daniel for this specific purpose even back when he was looking for a post-Red Bull drive and, when presented with the choice between Seb and Daniel, they went with Daniel because he met their criteria. Charles has a sort of different vibe to him so I’m not sure if he’d be their first choice.

Who else is there...Maybe Alpine if they somehow improve majorly over the years and become an actually competitive team. He’s a French speaker and they have an outwardly more serious vibe about them than, say, McLaren, so he might be a good fit? Although afaik they can be a bit of a mess internally and so far they’re not looking all that strong or “stable” - both Carlos and Daniel left after relatively short stints with the team - so Idk.

Aston Martin is an intriguing prospect because they’re still kind of trying to establish themselves and figure out what they are - not Racing Point anymore but there’s still a lot of crossover with the staff and management so the RP brand is still fresh in people’s minds. They were always a team that had potential and was sort of on the cusp of greatness but never really quite got there, so they’re kind of an unknown to me at the moment. Although then the problem here is that (unless something changes in the near future) it’s very much a family business type situation? And I’m sure any driver will have to be vetted by Lawrence personally to see if he’s a good fit to drive alongside Lance, who in their mind is undoubtedly the leader of the team, the cornerstone around which the team will be built. So I’m not sure if Charles will find his place there, either.

I guess… star quality-wise, performance-wise and so on he could be a good fit in a team like Mercedes. They take themselves seriously but also engage with the public and clearly benefit from Lewis’s established fanbase and social media presence. They also don’t curb - or even actively encourage - his non-driving pursuits like music and fashion (and Charles dabbles in both.) He’s handsome, still young, polite, kind, well-mannered and knows how to speak and present himself to the media. He’s unlikely to put his foot in his mouth with a clumsy, inappropriate statement or radio message and get them in trouble. That’s important. But despite outward appearances and their PR-polished exterior, the internal politics at Mercedes can be… a lot. And if you’re in Lewis’s position, that’s great, the team will 100% give you the support you need to thrive. But if you’re in Valtteri’s designated position… well, that’s a whole other story. Assuming they remain competitive… if they made him their focus, I think that partnership could flourish. But if they just waste him on the second seat, then it’s a no-go.

TL;DR: I have no idea, lmao. He and Ferrari are so intrinsically linked in my mind, it’s difficult trying to picture a reality in which he’s not somehow connected to the team… a reality in which he leaves without giving it his everything, without achieving that dream of winning the championship with them specifically. They’ve got the perfect driver. Let’s just hope they don’t waste him. In terms of switching teams, it really depends on what they’re willing to offer him.

[chrysanthemumpink]

im thinking about xiaolin showdown and one of my major issues with it is the unexplored lore and backstory. Almost every thing is “1500 years ago” and none of the supporting characters were really...supported. But if I had my way this is how it could have been fixed:

In season 3, the monks were sent to train with Master Monk Guan but they find out that despite the calm demeanor he is quite strict. This was a one off episode ment to trick hannibal bean and call Rai “Bozo.”

This should have happened the same episode Chase was introduced. Because despite Guan and Chase’s relationship being part of the lore, the series never explored that. So to fix it, lets say that the monks meet Chase and Guan the same way they did in the series, especially that part when Chase lets the Monks go after losing to Guan. But once it becomes clear that Chase is a permanent threat, the monks leave Master Fung’s temple to train with Guan.

(While we are on the topic...Chase Young’s powers needs to be simplified. No more soup...because that literally has no impact on the story. Let’s just say he wanted to steal dojo because he wanted a more reliable way to search for shen gon wu. And when dojo didnt work out, he teamed up with Wuya by promising that he can help restore her body.)

This does a lot of things. The first thing it does is give the monks a change of scenery and gives them new challenges with Guan’s style of training. Imagine the monks becoming wudai warriors under Guan. It would have given Rai someone more difficult to learn under and I think Rai would learn a lot from Guan even if he resists. Omi would have had his ego depleted at least a tiny bit. Kimiko would have definitely appreciated Guan and I can see her being the only one adding to the temple with her use of tech. And I think Clay and Guan would realize that they are actually quite similar (calm kind guys with hidden strengths)

Another thing this would have done was open up the oppritunity for more dialogue with Guan about Grand Master Dashi AND Chase’s betrayal.

So Chase Young sees Guan, his nemesis, with his new team of monks and that’s what makes him decide to look for an apprentice. (Not some vague “chosen one” monologue) Chase spends a few episodes with Katnappe, Jack Spicer, and heck maybe even Omi. But none of it is long lived. Until he meets Jermaine.

Jermaine was Chase’s apprentice in season 2 but only for an episode. That should have been more perminent. And let’s say that he is as willing to stay on the Heylin side because Omi hurt his feelings and because Chase convinced him that true power really is on the Heylin side. Season 2 also had a his theme of xiaolin and heylin forces working together. So lets say that despite the animosity between Jermaine Omi and the rest of the monks, his kinship with them grew during all those “work together” episodes. But then it’s revealed that Chase wasn’t interested in any old wu, he was interested in the ying yo yo. And when it’s finally revealed, he uses it to steal Master Fung and Guan’s chi. This sets the series finale in motion and Wuya gets her permenant body. Jermaine sees true “evil” now and can no longer take it.

Jermaine then comes around and says that he wants to go back to his friends and rejoin the xiaolin side. But ironically, Chase was starting to enjoy being a teacher and kind of saw took this “betrayal” personal. And since he’s unable to cope with that, he turns Jermaine into one of his cats. Then the monks would have helped save him. So instead of Omi being the cat in that soccer battle during season 2’s finale, it would have been Jermaine.

And the wager should have been steep. It wouldn’t have been just for Jermaine’s freedom...it would have been power for power. If Chase won, he would get the monks elemental powers. If the monks won, Chase would forfeit his own powers.

Of course Chase looses, Jermaind is freed, and Chase no longer has the cat army or lizard thing.

So now Chase has lost Jermaine, the showdown, and his powers. At this point, his whole thing about “honor” would have went out the window and he would have tried attacking the monks again despite his loss. (Complete contrast to his first episode)

But then comes Monk Guan, chi restored, and he stops the second attack. Even though, in this version, it is obviously futile. But narratively this just sets up a visual foil for Chase and Guan’s rivalry. B/c everything Chase ever wanted, Guan already had.

Guan was a xiaolin master, Dashi liked Guan better (for reasons that could be explained next season!) and now (!) Guan has Jermaine.

The monks, including Jermaine, are promoted to Wudai Warrior

*End of Season 2*

*Start Season 3*

Jermaine needs an element

But to catch up, we find that Chase is indeed less powerful than he was before so he stays teamed up with Wuya but it isn’t working out. Chase isn’t completey defenseless, the only thing that has changed is his Cats and he is still a very competant worrior. But Wuya has her rock army and Chase just can’t compete with that as Wuya is a powerful witch. The two are at an even stand still.

Meanwhile the monks are growing powerful, Jermaine is there and is now part of the main cast. But good jack, remember him, let’s say that whole thing with his good half did happen. And good jack accidentally releases Hannibal Bean in the Ying Yang world.

And *somehow* Wuya has struck a deal with Hannibal Bean. Hannibal wants revenge against Chase Young who improsoned him in the first place. Let’s say he was the one who turned chase evil. Let’s say Chase was Hannibal’s “appeentice” but Chase betrayed him.

So Wuya betrays Chase for literally no reason other than for being evil and the fact that Chase did treat her like shit by not restoring her to her full power back in season two. Wuya and Hannibal lure Chase into the ying yang world and trap good him and good Jack in the Ying Yang world prison and leave.

Wuya and Hannibal immediately wreak havoc. You know how the world is in chaos and everything is on fire in season 2/3 finale. That happens immediately, first episode! Second at the least. And at first the monks don’t know why or what is going on. Guan doesnt know why Hannibal is back. But “Bad” Jack lets it slip that he gets visions from Good Jack and can communicate with his other half. (GASP)

So he knows what happens. Bad Jack doesn’t really want to get his good side back but Guan threatens him and Jack is forced to lead Guan and the monks to the prison seeking any answers.

Good Jack and Bad Jack’s connection are what lead them to the prison. The two are also reunited once everyone reaches the prison. But Chase just isn’t Chase anymore. He’s just very quiet and stoic. He’s very thin and pale. And he doesn’t even want to leave the prison. From his perspective, not only has Jermaine “betrayed” him, now Wuya has too. He has no powers and no home anyway so why even leave? Guan is like, “ok.”

But Jermaine feels really bad about this. And he yells at Monk Guan to do something. They can’t just leave him!

Guan pauses. Then walks up to Chase and is like “you’re the only one who has ever defeated Hannibal Bean. Come with us. We need your help.” Chase is like, “ I said I’m staying here. I’m not helping you.” And Guan says, “I wasn’t asking.”

The two fight and its pretty evenly matched until Guan says something personal, maybe about Dashi or maybe about losing his powers, and Chase gets distracted and Guan gains the upper hand. Chase is knocked out and Guan throw’s Chase’s non-responsive body over his shoulder. He looks pointedly at Jermaine as if to say, “isn’t this what you wanted?” But all he says out loud is a firm “let’s go.” It’s a pretty cruel victory.

The monks are in shock, so is Jack Spicer.

Pause.

Let’s talk about Jack. Let’s say that Jack has had his good side and bad side split for so long that his psyche can no longer fully merge. He’s not a complete Jack but a Good Jack and a Bad Jack with two distinct voices and personalities that are difficult for him to manage and control. So he has two pretty distinct voices and personalities inside his head. but more on that later.

Now the main arch of season 3 is that the monks have to make sense of the gray area between xiaolin and heylin/good and evil. They have to start working through what those things mean especially when they learn that Master Dashi did some pretty questionable things when it came to Guan and Chase. But more on that later. The monks are supposed to be warriors for “good” but now they have literally kidnapped Chase.

Chase is forced with the monks now but against his will. Guan has somehow magically bound him to the temple. Chase can’t leave the temple grounds and he always has two of Guan’s goons following him. Guan also punishes Chase for any behavior that he deemed “evil.” Maybe Guan locks him in a room or tower or something.

Eventually Chase says something about being held prisoner. Guan remarks that Chase has nowhere to go anyway and that he should be glad he is their prisoner.....unless he’d rather be Wuya and Hannibal’s prisoner. But Guan makes a deal with Chase. He is free to leave once Wuya and Hannibal are defeated and peace had vern restored. So the sooner Hannibal and Wuya are defeated, the sooner Chase can leave so it is in his best interest to help.

And it works, Chase is a suprisingly a good teacher of patience, meditation, balance, and spirituality. Maybe in a way that Guan wasn’t. He alao has a pretty solid plan to defeat Wuya and Hannibal and that plan is to slowly sew seeds of doubt in their relationship. Since Chase knows Wuya and Hannibal personally, he knows best how to do this effictively. With his help, the monks eventually win thier first xiaolin showdown, which, at this point, has been a long time.

But Guan, again, isn’t kind. There are comments about Chase’s loss, how Dashi fealt about him, etc, etc. And Chase, as a prisoner can’t do much about it. But Chase isnt perfect either. He is still quite the liar and a manipulator. He almost escapes by idk brainwashing and almost killing Clay. (Chase and Guan eventually have a heart to heart and make up, don’t worry!)

But back to the monks, who have now started taking sides! They are all starting to disagree with each other b/c again, we are in the grey area and everyone has a valid point. Jermaine and Kimiko think that they shouldnt be forcing Chase to help them or holding him prisoner. That makes them no better than the bad guys!

Clay and Raimundo think the ends justify the means, besides, why should they start being “nice” to Chase now. He wouldn’t do the same for them. There’s even an exchange when Jerimiah says, “how could you defend someone who calls you Bozo!” .. Rai responds, “how could you defend someone who turned you into a furry slave!” (idk make it funny but intense)

Omi does not know what to believe. So idk, he goes to visit Master Fung and finds that Jack Spicer had been staying there or atlerast visits often. Omi reunites with Jack and learns how je has embraced neutrality. (or something similar) Remeber good and bad Jack? The two can no longer fully merge and Jack has two distinct and independent consciousnesses inside of him. He has intense desires to be both good and bad and there is like a constant monologue between what feels like two people. Its like there is an angel and devil on Jack Spicer’s shoulder but these angels have some viscious arguments and Jack Spicer in turn has learned to the middle road and a chaotic neutral. This broaden perspective leads to him being the only character to reject dichotomies beteen good & evil. There is no xiaolin or heylin for Jack. This interests Omi who is very confused and conflicted. The two get closer until everything at Guan’s temple becomes too much for Omi and he moves out of the temple and in with Jack. No one really knows what good and evil is anymore. But Omi and Jack say screw it.

i have to end this because i need to go to bed

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Summer Solitude pt. 2

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Koge Naegi (OC)

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Romance / Domestic 

Story Warnings: Cursing, brief sex (vaginal) and fingering, A LOT flirting, playful spanking, vague mentions of kinks, mostly fluff and just silliness

Words: 4,047

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3

Written for the @bnhabookclub​​ ‘s members bingo event!

Crossed off: Trickery (not on my card, replacement of an accidental repeat)

Bingo Masterlist

Art in banner by me

“Get your hand off my booty. You’re gonna mess up my tan.” 

“Tan? Utsuro, you don’t tan. You burn. You’re already pink, you know. You need more sunscreen.” Bakugou’s hand ran down along the back of Koge’s thigh, the pressure of his grip and natural roughness of his palms bringing a small sigh of pleasure from her lips. Laying on her stomach, she had sprawled out on a blanket the couple had placed in the grass near the water, soaking in some of the hot summer sun. Sitting beside her, Bakugou was content to munch on some watermelon, stabbing squares of the juicy fruit with his toothpick before bringing it to his lips. Along with his munching, he was a tad handsy, unable to really help touching Koge or stroking her skin, which was something the petite woman loved. 

“I just put some on, like… ten minutes ago.” Turning her head, Koge rested her cheek against her folded forearms, eyes scanning his bare back. Each movement he made to pick up another piece of fruit flexed his broad shoulders and caused his muscles to ripple, bringing a heat to Koge’s cheeks that wasn’t at all related to the sun. Even his arm as it moved with his continuous slow stroking of her thigh had her stomach fluttering, nearly mesmerized by his form. What was worse, his skin was shiny and wet with remnants of the lake water, as he had just come back up from a quick dip while Koge soaked in the sun. 

And as she watched a droplet of water slide down along his side, she knew that she had made a mistake making that bet earlier. Now she was really paying the price. 

Koge knew that Bakugou could tell, too, and he wasn’t taking this challenge lightly. Sure, he wasn’t jumping her bones every second he could, but he was still doing exactly what Koge had expected. In between his more casual affection, he’d randomly toss in a more sensual touch, a lingering of his lips, or a flash of his crimson glare that could set Koge off in seconds. Even now as he focused on eating, his fingers trailed along her inner thigh, lightly brushing against her clothed sex. If he was doing it on purpose at the moment, she couldn’t be sure, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to ask and give away that she was struggling. 

“Gimme a bite?” Koge smiled up at him as he glanced over his shoulder in response to her words, his cheek puffed out as he chewed. Compliant, Bakugou stabbed a new piece, leaning back and supporting himself with his elbow to easily bring the fruit to her lips. Koge was quick to open wide and hold it between her teeth while Bakugou pulled the stick back, humming softly in happiness as she ate the juicy treat. “Mmm! That watermelon is really sweet!” 

“I can think of a few things that are sweeter.” Staying in his laid-back position, Bakugou licked some of the watermelon juice from his fingers, once again sending a heat rushing through Koge like a fire. 

Jerk! He’s too good at this. 

“Yeah, me too. Like grapes. Or just candy.” 

“Sure, Utsuro.” Smirking in his silent, smug victory, Bakugou pushed his still damp hair back out of his face, the water slicking it back and causing it to cling to itself. “If that’s what comes to mind.” 

Unable to handle gazing upon his glistening chest and abs, Koge shoved her face back into the blanket as casually as she could, silently screaming in her mind and cursing herself for being so stupid. “Is there something else that should have come to mind?” 

“I already know something else came to mind.” 

“I’m not saying it!” 

“What? Struggling not to lose?” 

Koge could hear the smirk in his voice, her skin tingling as his fingers lightly and slowly trailed down her spine. Huffing, she rolled over on her back away from him in hopes that he couldn’t reach her anymore. “I won’t lose!” Glowering at him, she pushed herself up to sit on her elbows, having to control the screaming urge to look down at his body. “You promised you wouldn’t try hard!” 

Bakugou scoffed, taking a large bite out of a larger slice of watermelon, since all the little pieces had been eaten. It was as if he were purposefully showing off his impressive bite and teeth, which was just another turn on for Koge, who couldn’t help but imagine those teeth sinking into the skin of her inner thighs. “Utsuro, I’m not trying hard,” Bakugou paused to lick his lips, ignoring the juice of the fruit that dripped onto his chest from the slice in his hand. “You’re just horny. You can’t win.” 

“I’m not. You are trying hard, everything you’re doing is so extra!” 

“I’m just eating watermelon. It’s not my fault you’re seeing that as sexual.” Taking another bite, the blonde munched away before tossing the slice back into its large bowl, searching for a napkin that he used to wipe his mouth and chest of the dribbling juice. “Fuck that shit gets everywhere.” 

Huffing, Koge flopped back to lay down, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared up at the blue sky. “I hate you.” 

“Sounds like a you problem.” 

“See, now you’re just working against yourself, jokes like that will get you no pussy.” 

“Shut up,” Leaning over, Bakugou caressed her flushed cheek, kissing her lips softly. “You’re too cute to argue.” 

“Don’t pull that with me,” Koge gripped onto his forearm lightly, not wanting him to back away. “You know I can’t resist your sweet talk.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Bakugou kissed her again, scooting his body in closer to half-hover over her easier, one of his legs coming to rest casually between hers. “All I have to do is call you the B-word and you’re gonna lose that bet real quick.” 

“Calling me a bitch only works in certain situations, love.” 

“I don’t mean that B-word.” 

Cheeks growing hotter, Koge narrowed her eyes at him, nudging his nose with hers lightly. “Don’t you dare. That’d be cheating! Especially with your voice still being a little raspy from losing it the other day while you were sick… You’d make me cum just from your voice.” 

“Yeah?” Bakugou chuckled, letting his hand slide down from her cheek to instead rest on her stomach. “Then what? I’d make you cum with my voice, but that’s not enough for you.” His lips still dangerously close, Bakugou didn’t break eye contact with her as his fingers trailed down across her skin towards her hips. His touch was so light it made Koge’s entire body tingle in ticklish pleasure, almost finding it hard to not twitch away. “You’d need more.” 

“You don’t know that.” The involuntary waver in her voice didn’t go undetected, a new smug smirk spreading across Bakugou’s lips. 

“I do know. I know, because your slutty little body craves my fat cock inside you. It can’t be satisfied until I’ve fucked you into a crying stupor.” His lips were right up against hers now, brushing as he spoke and only teasing Koge’s parted mouth with a hint of a kiss. She knew exactly what he was doing, yet she couldn’t pull away or resist him, her breathing growing heavier with her anxious energy. She wanted him so bad, but how could she give in already, only a couple of hours after their bet had been placed? Instead of any protest, only one word could slip from her strangled throat. 

“Katsuki…” 

“That’s right, baby,” Bakugou’s smirk only grew more wicked at Koge’s physical reaction to the pet name, her body arching up into his touch as his hand slipped beneath her bikini bottoms, two of his fingers stroking along her already soaking wet cunt and teasing her clit just as the word left his mouth. “Say my name and give into me.” His lips crashed down onto hers without any resistance, her mouth even opening eagerly for him to completely take control. Suddenly, a rush of pleasure as his fingers dug into her needy pussy snapped Koge out of her haze, making her squeal and wiggling out from under him, fumbling to her feat. 

“No, no, no! No! You aren’t allowed to do that! That’s SUPER try hard mode!” Pointing an accusing finger at him, Koge was only made more flustered as his smirk returned, her heart nearly leaping out of her mouth at the sight of him licking clean the fingers he had put inside her. “Katsuki!” 

“Mm, delicious. Sweeter than watermelon.” 

“Ugh!” With a stomp of her foot, Koge stormed off towards the lake, not looking back at her tease of a husband in hopes it would keep her away. “You’re not gonna win!” 

“You know I like a challenge, Utsuro. That cute little ass of yours is going to be tied up tonight. Just wait.” 

“No, you will be buying us a hot tub! That’s what’s gonna happen!” 

Chuckling, Bakugou sat up, doing his best to ignore the aching of his cock, speaking quietly to himself. “I wonder if I should tell her they’ve already ordered one? Hm… Nah.” 

…

“Katsuki, you’ve really gone all out on this! When did you have time to bring all this food up here? When you said we were going on a date, I didn’t expect all of this.” Koge couldn’t resist the bright smile on her face as she munched away on a delicious slice of seasoned beef, the light twinge of Bakugou’s favorite spices tickling her lips. “Yum!” 

“I didn’t. I haven’t been here before, remember?” Bakugou glanced back at her over his shoulder, though most of his attention was on the pan where he had a variety of vegetables sautéing. Holding on firmly to the handle of the pan, he used quick and precise movements to flip the contents about, reminding Koge just how dwarfed her cooking skills were compared to his. “I had my dad help.” 

“You’re so sneaky.” Koge narrowed her eyes at him, her stomach fluttering in happiness from his effort and attention to their needs for the weekend, as well as making sure she was truly enjoying herself. “You’re not trying to butter me up for something, are you?” 

With a click of his tongue, Bakugou brought the still sizzling pan over towards her, using a set of tongs to grab and place the veggies onto her plate. “And what if I was?” 

“Then I’d say yes no matter what.” 

“Damn right.” After giving himself a portion on his own plate, Bakugou placed the pan back down on a cold burner of the stove, turning the other off while he was at it. “But no, I’m not. You deserve this.” 

Cheeks flushing, Koge grew a bit timid from his words, pulling her legs up into her chair to sit cross legged. “Thank you, Katsuki… That means a lot to me.” 

A kiss to the top of the head was given to her before Bakugou took his seat beside her, beginning to chow down on his food. “What do you think of this outdoor kitchen set up?” 

“I like it!” Koge glanced around them, eyeing the covered patio they were sat under and the row of cabinets that sported an oven and sink. From their chairs at the round metal table they were eating on, they both had the perfect view of the lake and setting sun, which painted the sky with lilac, cream, and coral hues. The glistening water reflected the masterpiece, bringing about such a calming sense of serenity. It truly was heaven, made perfect by the delicious food and the love of the man beside her. “I love everything about this place. Especially just getting to be alone with you.” 

“It’s been a long time. I don’t think we’ve gotten a full day to ourselves since Natsu was born. It’s so different from how it used to be.” Bakugou paused for a moment to eat, carefully shoveling some meat into his mouth with his chopsticks. “But, it just makes this more special. Reminds me of why and how much I love you.” 

“Aw, Katsuki,” Koge scooted her chair up close to him, resting her head against his shoulder. “I love you. I know adjusting to being parents and being married is really hard, but… We’re getting through it together. And even though I know you don’t think you have, you’ve been as wonderful as always, to me and the kids. Sometimes I miss it being just you and me, but I wouldn’t trade what we have now for anything.” 

“Me either. Here, you have a little-” Since Koge had been looking up at him, Bakugou took a moment to wipe her bottom lip lightly with his thumb, wiping away some stray sauce. Koge giggled, her face flushed and eyes never leaving his face. 

“Sorry, I’m a bit messy.” 

“Mm, yeah you are.” A deep hum rattled in his chest as he kissed her. “Messy, cute little sexy thing. If you get that sauce all over you, I’ll just end up having to clean you up myself.” 

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Some extra sauce.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get some extra special sauce later.” 

“You won’t!” Koge got one more kiss before she returned to eating, which Bakugou mimicked. “You’re not going to win. I’ve done so good. You haven’t gotten me since that nonsense with the B-word.” 

“For now.” 

With a roll of her eyes and a playful nudge to his side, the two fell silent to eat in peace, listening to the rippling water and the sounds of nighttime creatures around them. Once the two were done eating, Bakugou presented Koge with her favorite dessert of matcha mochi ice cream and chocolate syrup, which had her drooling and beaming with delight. By the time dinner was complete, the sun was set, blanketing the lake with darkness. The little backyard paradise was flooded with crackling light, however, as the firepit had been brought to life. Poking at the smoldering logs with a long poker, Bakugou shuffled them around until he was content, leaving it resting close by before approaching his wife. 

With a gentle stroke to the top of her head, he flopped to sit down beside her on the bench she had picked, letting one arm rest around her shoulders. “How’s that?” 

“It’s perfect.” Koge pulled her legs up into the seat, cuddling into and resting against his side. “I love this. I want everything to be just like this when we retire. Just at the coast instead.” 

“Hm. I can see that. A private oceanfront place. Though up in the mountains would be fucking nice, too. Surrounded by trees.” 

“But the bugs.” 

“Fuck the bugs, they wouldn’t be that bad.” 

“Hmm…” Koge turned a bit to rest her head against his shoulder, her hand sliding up his torso to his chest. “You know they would be. You’d have icky creepy crawlies all over you.” 

“I already do. Two icky creepy crawlies that always climb all over me.” 

“Only two?” 

“Well, three. Counting you. The biggest creepy crawly.” Taking hold of her chin lightly to lift her head up, Bakugou placed a tender kiss on her lips, bringing a happy hum from her chest. “Grossest, too. I’ve never seen such a gross bug.” 

“I’m like your flea. Always attached to you.” 

Chuckling, Bakugou leaned back comfortably again, looking up at the night sky. “You are tiny like a flea. Damn, Utsuro, did you see the sky?” 

“Hm?” Resting her head back down, Koge turned her gaze to look up at the stars, a small gasp leaving her lips. “Wow! You can’t see this back home!” The night sky was more magnificent than Koge had seen in many years, with twinkling stars and swirling streams of color within the inky and never-ending blackness. It made her feel so small to stare up into the unknown, yet she felt comforted by Bakugou’s strong arm around her, knowing that even if aliens did suddenly come down to attack the planet, at least he would be there with her though it all. 

“Do you believe in aliens, Katsuki?” 

“Do you think we’re the only living thing in the universe?” 

“No.” 

“Me either. Unless we’re nothing but a simulation.” 

Koge giggled softly, still mesmerized by the sky above her. “Oh yeah? Then what would all the stars be? A hologram. Geez, that one start is really twinkling, you see it? Oh look! There’s the Taurus constellation! That’s your western zodiac sign, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah. I don’t really know a lot about them though.” 

“They’re assholes.” 

“Tch, oh yeah?!” Bakugou pinched her cheek playfully, making her whine and attempt to push him off her. “And what’s yours, huh? The one that’s a little bitch, I bet!” 

“Scorpio! And that’s not a little bitch sign, that’s a bad bitch sign. Don’t make me have to prove it to you.” 

“Oh, and what would you do, little flea?” 

“Don’t you know anything about fleas, Katsuki? They bite,” In one fluid motion, Koge sunk her teeth into the side of his neck as she crawled up onto his lap, ignoring his curses. Although the first bite was the roughest, they grew significantly less visions as she trailed them down his neck to his shoulder, though she was stopped by the strap of his tank. “I’ll bite you all over!” 

“Then I’ll just have to squish you, won’t I?” With one strong arm wrapped around her torso to keep her from squirming away, Bakugou brought his full palm down onto her ass, making her burst out into giggles and squeals. “No, no, you little bug, you’re not getting away!” Another slap had Koge struggling with all her might to get away, but her strength was nothing compared to the muscular man that had her trapped. A single glance at his face told her that he was enjoying it, too, the amused and malicious smirk on his lips giving it away. 

“Katsuki! This isn’t fair! You can hold me down with one arm!” Koge retaliated with another rough bite, this time right below his earlobe. At first, a hiss was Bakugou’s only reaction, until he released a low growl deep in his chest, his large hand switching from spanking to groping. With his fingers splayed out across her cheek and a firm grip, he pulled her hips in up against his, presenting to her his very obvious and eagerly twitching cock beneath his shorts. 

“You’d better watch it, Utsuro, or I’m going to make you lose that bet real quick.” 

“You won’t.” Smirking against his skin, Koge nibbled her way along his jawline, ending with a bite and a tug to his earlobe. “You like it when I bite you, huh? You like to be bit just as much as you like to bite.” 

A deep grunt escaped Bakugou’s throat as she pressed her hips tighter against his, putting pressure on his strained member in the same moment that her teeth sunk into his neck. “This is considered giving in, isn’t it?” 

“Nope. There’s nothing in the rules about me teasing you. I have to give in to you enticing me.” Holding back a sigh of pleasure at the pressure against her clit and the feeling of his cock twitching between her legs, Koge let her fingers snake up into his blonde locks, massaging and tugging in time with her bites and rolling of her hips. “You’re so submissive today.” 

“Don’t fucking call me that. You’ll regret it.” The slight whine in his voice immediately had Koge feeling rushed with a sexual power that she very rarely got to experience with him, and the thought of getting to push his buttons a bit clouded any other thought in her mind. 

His grip on her hips have loosened, Koge was able to maneuver her hands down between their bodies, easily slipping his hard cock from his shorts. Taking hold of him, Koge’s heart nearly leapt out of her throat at the hitching breath he took in, her thumb rolling around his tip to tease him with the precum that had been dribbling down his shaft. “Poor thing.” Koge hummed, her lips and teeth sliding along his skin. “You’ve been trying so hard all day, and this is what happens? You end up whining and just letting me do whatever I want.” 

Her touch became more aggressive, slipping one of her hands into her own shorts to coat it in her own slick while she pumped his cock. “Seeing you like this really gets to me, Katsuki. I just want to eat you up.” 

Bakugou’s breath grew heavier the longer she pleasured him, until his hips began to buck up into her touch. “C’mon!” He hissed between his teeth, his face shoved into her shoulder. “I want to stick my cock in you so fucking bad. Let me fuck you!” 

“I don’t think so, Katsuki.” 

A trembling moan left his lips, his hands gripping onto her hips tightly in hopes that she wouldn’t move. “Yes! Baby, please,” Speaking directly into her ear now, his low and desperate voice had Koge’s head spinning, unable to think about anything else but him. “Please, baby. Let me fuck you. I need it.” 

Moving on impulse, Koge shifted her clothing out of the way, shifting her hips up and sinking his entire cock into dripping, aching pussy all the way to the base, the pleasure immediately making Koge tremble and bite down onto her bottom lip. Though, before she could even think about moving her hips, Bakugou’s grip on them grew tighter, and a triumphant chuckle rattled in his chest. 

“I fucking got you, Utsuro.” 

“Wha- a-ah!!” Koge’s voice cracked into moans as Bakugou began to thrust his hips up into her, his entire demeanor flipping like a switch. Behind the hazy pleasure, Koge began to realize that he had been doing. He had used her craving for a bit of dominance against her, making her think that she was the one in control the entire time. “K-Katsuki! That’s mean!” 

“You lose, Utsuro. Now shut up and take my fat cock like a good little slut.” His threatening growl in her ear immediately broke her into submission, gripping onto his shoulders tightly as she took over bouncing on his cock, slamming it within her from tip to base. “Good girl. Show me how much you’ve wanted that fucking cock.” 

It was true that Koge had been craving him since the early morning hours, but with the bet they had set so early on, she had been pushing back against him so intently that she was sure she’d win. Yet, he was able to break her without even having to really touch her himself. Sure, she was frustrated with that, but there wasn’t a single thought in her mind that told her to stop. Just feeling his cock inside her, filling up every inch of her cunt had her feeling like she was going completely mad already. She wanted more. She needed more. 

“Katsuki-!” 

“What’s wrong? Fucking yourself on my cock not good enough for you?” Using his strength, Bakugou stopped her from bouncing, his dick slipping out of her and leaving her aching. Whining, Koge looked down between their bodies, able to see glistening threads of her slick still connecting them together. She was so horny she’d do anything for him at this point just so he would keep fucking her. 

“I-I want you to fuck me, Katsuki. Please!” 

“I won the bet, you know. Don’t you think I deserve my prize?” 

Koge’s heart skipped a beat, growing nervous just from the thought of what he had wanted. A rough session of light bondage and a bit of knife play, which was something they had never tried before. They had researched it before, but never got around to it with children at home, but now they had an entire house and night to themselves. Yes, the unknown was scary, but how incredibly hot it made her had her answer slipping from her lips before she could really even think. 

“Please do whatever you want to me, Katsuki.” 

[fly-pow-bye]

DuckTales 2017 - The Least Best!

Well, here it is, the second to last article of this project, and it's one that's going to be controversial. I'm sorry, I have to do a worst list along with the best list, but I decided against actually calling it the worst list. Simply put: calling it a worst list implies these episodes were bad. Do not get me wrong, there are episodes I feel qualify for that, but not more than 10 of them. Alas, it has to be done.

I must have some rules for this list, and here they are:

It has to be an episode of DuckTales 2017. No shorts, even if the shorts combined can make up a full episode. I am also not putting in anything from This Duckburg Life, either.

I have to say something good about each of these episodes. Does not have to be the best thing about the episode, but a good thing nonetheless.

This is my opinion and my opinion alone. I am sure there are fans of these episodes, I just disagree with them.

Let's begin with #10, and I can already tell I'm going to lose some people over this, but I am not sorry.

10. Beaks In The Shell!

I did get some flack for giving this a 2 initially, and I did walk back on it simply because there are worse episodes I have given 3s or would have given 3s, but I just did not think of this one as highly as everything else in the third season. I do not hate it, as it has some clever moments here and there, like Louie's shock about GizmoDuck's identity.

She has a great design, and I do like how she's the hacker girl as a counterpart to Fenton. She just seems to do a complete 180. In the last episode she was in, she was not above blinding children in order to keep her job, and now she just wants to leave F.O.W.L. just like that? I do not really buy it, and I never really found her that interesting in execution, at least in the show itself.

Good thing: Out of all the flack I've given this episode, the ending with the character's individual Gizmo suits is top notch. I like how everyone has an ability that either fits them or is a reference to a previous episode.

9. New Gods on the Block!

This is another "not really one of the good ones, but not really one of the bad ones" episode to me. My decision to put this one below "Beaks In The Shell" goes more with me thinking the Gizmo suits were a little more creative, and how I think this episode could have done better with this idea. Plenty of scenes with Storkules and Donald being a little too close, much to the chagrin of the latter.

There is also this plot where Scrooge wants to make a different team, implying that the kids are not good enough. This may have been a misinterpretation on the part of the kids, making this one of those "misunderstanding" episodes, but it is really vague here. It seemed to me that Scrooge really was trying to get a different team that did not involve his family for the most part. I am not going to say him being called out by Della when he's climbing the Titan is not a powerful scene, but I feel like it goes against the series entire arc of family being the best adventure of all. This isn't a Season 1 episode where Scrooge had to learn that, this is in Season 3!

Good thing: It was cool to see this plot expand the pantheon of Greek gods in this series. The DuckTales 2017 version of Hades, their reaction to Zeus being depowered, it’s all good.

8. The Split Sword of Swanstantine!

Unlike Gandra Dee, or any of the Olympians, the Sword of Swanstentine ended up being a major part of the finale. It is a shame that the hunt for that sword is the least best of the three shorts episodes. The first part with Dewey and Webby features the aforementioned child blinding plot that leads to a couple of cool survival scenes and a clever use of the big fight between Black Heron and Scrooge that happens throughout the episode, but is mostly just okay. The second part with Louie and Violet is a little weak, it's a one-idea premise with a character that I felt needed more development, period.

Huey and Lena's part may have been the highlight of the episode, but it only leads to an ending that is a bit predictable as soon as it comes up. Oh no, the villains have the sword! Nah, just kidding, the heroes have it because of a technicality that they certainly did not remember in the finale. I am a little glad they did not remember the sword's ability to not be used by people who have not earned it, actually, but that's not something that pertains to this episode specifically.

Good thing: As mentioned before, Huey and Lena's part is good. It's mitigated by The Duke of Making A Mess never really appearing again, but that is also not something that pertains to this episode specifically.

7. Happy Birthday, Doofus Drake!

The crew of the show have shown their disdain for the original Doofus. They could have just said that Doofus wasn't indicative of the kind of messaging they wanted to show, much like the original Burger Beagle, or the witch doctor stereotype who first summoned the Bombie, but no, their response to a character that was hated in the original was to make an even less likeable villain out of him! He was alright in "Day of the Only Child!", his debut, and I think that might be because he only had a third of the episode rather than more than half. While the ending is good, and there are some funny scenes with some of his other party guests, there's a lot of awkward scenes to work through here.

There is a plot that does not involve Doofus, but it does not do much good. The B-plot is pretty much shoe-horned in here, with no real connection besides involving characters that are not trying to crash the party. It is about Huey learning to step out of his comfort zone, and we know this because he goes into a video game world and having to learn how to step out of something that is outright called a "comfort zone". There just is not a lot to this plot other than some really cheap references. There's certainly nothing on the same level as Dewey Dew-Night, which is what "Day of the Only Child!" gave us. I guess I decided to put this episode in the Honey Bin after all.

Good thing: Glomgold's scheme involving his puppet son is a good Glomgold scene, and this is the episode that gave us Boyd, so I can't hate on it too much.

6. The Rumble for Ragnarok!

When I decided to re-rate Beaks in the Shell to a three, I was also specifically thinking of this episode as one of the worse episodes that I gave a three. This is a problem with having a series as consistently good as DuckTales 2017 is; there's a little to like in almost every episode, and this episode really knows how to handle pro wrestling as a setting while also making it fit in with the universe. I could see something like this happening in the old comics.

However, lots of neat references to pro wrestling can't hide that the way they implemented this plot is just flawed to me. The plot to me seemed to go with the moral that one should follow with what is right even if it does not lead to popularity. It does start well with Scrooge, as the villainous Millionaire Miser, telling Dewey to "embrace the boos" of the people that want the world to end. Then they decide that the crowd doesn't like Jörmungandr anymore because...he was being too harsh on a kid? They did not have a problem with Hecka beating up two kids, but when Jörmungandr ties him up with his tail, that's a heel turn? Conveniently, Dewey did not have to learn anything! I can appreciate that they didn't go with what any other cartoon would do and make a farce out of the form of entertainment, but I can not shake that off.

Good thing: Not only does this episode do a great job with wrestling jokes, it manages to throw in a reference to the original that seamlessly fits in with the wrestling jokes. It's too bad the Shield Maiden didn't get to do much, but it's still a positive.

5. The Richest Duck in the World!

I did say I wanted to only rate episodes, but if I was rating DuckTales 2017's arcs, the Louie one from Season 2 is definitely the lowest. Do not get me wrong, the Louie Inc. arc did have some good episodes, Storkules in Duckburg being a highlight, but it is definitely the least memorable arc in the series, and its finale is the worst of that arc. Sure, it was a big shocking moment in "GlomTales!" that he was able to swindle his own uncle's fortune, especially an uncle as sharp and smart as Scrooge McDuck, but the way this episode follows up on that is to make a hundred jokes about Louie being a lazy billionaire until he learns his lesson in a way that returns everything back to the status quo as soon as the real arc of the season comes back in the last minute of the episode. The finale of the entire show made this even more worthless, and I would rather not get into any more detail than I already had in that review.

I think what really gets me about this is how well Scrooge takes this plot, especially when compared to an episode that is coming up in this very list. I know a part of this is because of the villain of the episode, but there was also a feeling that Scrooge just knew that the status quo was going to come back. That just made this episode's conclusion just that much more foregone. The fact that the Tenderfeet had to show up to remind us that he exists does not make this any better. There is another plot about Della trying to call Penumbra, who is not answering her phone calls for reasons she could not have known. Revealing why she can't before kind of made the conclusion of that plot just that much more foregone. For an episode that comes before a major, major finale, it is so unmemorable to me.

Good thing: When Bradford was talking about "magical defense" in the first episode, I was thinking it was a reference to Magica, but this episode does a great job of retconning that into something less predictable. Retooling the Bombie, a villain with origins that are not necessarily acceptable by today's standards, into something more akin to a force of nature is great.

4. The Depths of Cousin Fethry!

The very first Disgusted Donald I have ever given, and, to be honest, it's because I have learned to raise my standards for this show. Don't get me wrong, this show's version of Fethry Duck had a bit of potential, especially as a sort of mentor to Huey, and the idea of the episode could have went to places, but I just found this episode boring at best. At worst, it just exaggerates Huey to an unimaginably nerdy level, up to licking trees to find out what their resin level is and kissing giant plant monsters. Outside of one particular monster near the end of the episode, that is all this episode has: grossout humor and boredom. As much as I get the joke that Launchpad's journey was just so awesome that it could not have been animated, I still stand by the running gag I made in that review.

Good thing: One good thing about the payoff is the camerawork. The viewer never sees that giant krill "monster" in full. They forgot about that in Moonvasion, though I can see the argument that the Moonvasion would make anything look small.

3. The 87 Cent Solution!

The second Disgusted Donald I have ever given, and also the last. Was I afraid to get the wrath? Well, I am certainly not afraid now, as I rate the episode where Scrooge gets "gold fever" over 87 cents getting stolen from him as the third least best episode. I mean, I get it. Scrooge did not get "gold fever" because he lost money. He lost plenty of money trying to fix his own mistakes. He got "gold fever" because someone outwitted the smartest of the smarties and the sharpest of the sharpies. However, I just couldn't find Scrooge's descent into that madness funny. It's not like the "sea monster ate my ice cream" scene from the original that the reboot decided to mock in a different episode, I just feel sorry for him in a way that just does not fit with the rest of the series.

Having the ending be Mrs. Beakley saying "oh, I would have dealt with those silly manchildren by myself" just felt bizarre compared to the rest of DuckTales 2017's endings. It felt more like an ending to that other reboot. It certainly had that "ugh, men" vibe.

Good thing: One scene that one might think I hated was the dance scene with Glomgold set to DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win." Not only is Glomgold the best part about this episode, that scene is among the best Glomgold scenes ever.

2. Terror of the Terra-firmians!

This was the episode I considered giving the first Disgusted Donald to, or in the new ratings terms, a 1 Scrooge, but I decided against it because it just was not as bad as the worst that I have seen before I took on this project. I was sure there was going to be an episode worse than this one, because every cartoon is going to have that one episode that does not measure up. Turns out, this was the one episode. The major plot of this episode is Huey and Webby just bickering over the existence of magical creatures who are clearly causing all of the problems of the episode. All this really leads to is the same ending one gets with the M&Ms Santa commercial, except the build up is not as funny. That's not a good sign when this episode is much longer than a commercial.

They throw in a part with Lena and Mrs. Beakley that ends up becoming a major piece of development for Lena. I'll admit: this was the part that made me not want to give it a Disgusted, but now I realize what happened. Lena's plot does not really interact with the Terra-firmian plot, with only the train crash being the only real interaction. It's like they knew this episode would not amount to much in the overall arc nor would it be particularly funny, so they put in this awesome Lena part. I will not get fooled again.

Good thing: As mentioned before, Lena saving Mrs. Beakley is better than the rest of the episode combined.

I was really hard pressed to consider putting in dishonorable mentions. It was hard enough picking 10 episodes for the actual list.

The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks! - I just never really liked Mark Beaks as a villain. Smartphones may be around for a long time, but YOLO certainly will not.

Raiders of the Doomsday Vault! - The worst of Season 2 is already on this list, so I really stretched to find another episode that was any worse. This is just a case of Della Duck having better episodes than this.

Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! - In a series that had good season openers, this was decidedly not one of them. Other than introducing Webby 2, er, Violet, it was only good for starting the "Missing Mysteries of Finch" arc.

And now, the absolute least best episode of DuckTales 2017. It's plot important, very much so. It's an episode with Lena in it, usually a bright point of any DuckTales 2017 episode and a very beloved character. It's an episode I felt that was not good at all by DuckTales 2017 standards. That episode is...

1. The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck!

I know this is the one with that hugely emotional scene of Lena seeing her best friend die in front of her eyes. Of course, neither Disney nor the overall arc of the series would ever allow that, as this is merely a dream sequence that shows that Lena is afraid of her aunt and what she will do to her new best friend, which clearly hasn't been shown in every one of her last appearances. Clearly, we needed this over-the-top dream sequence to really show the kids that Magica is the bad lady and Lena is the good girl. Everything good this A-plot did was done better in "Jaw$!"; they could have just tacked on this episode's ending to that episode, and it would have worked.

Oh, and the B-plot is the dreaded devil in plain sight plot. Huey, Dewey, and Louie befriend a Tenderfeet, the Tenderfeet turns out to be a jerk who tries to sabotage Louie, Louie gets blamed for it to the point where Huey, the usually sensible one, punches Louie in the arm as apparently bullying the Tenderfeet is the worst action he has ever done, and the cycle repeats. After reviewing a reboot that, despite all of its flaws, never managed to fall into it, I was shocked that DuckTales 2017, the reboot that really could, toyed with the worst plot in any cartoon ever and played it straight. I could see the argument that this is one of the better implementations of the forsaken plot, as Louie is already an untrustworthy person even among his brothers and he does manage to solve the problem in a way that fits with his scheming character, but, I am not sorry, it's still a devil in plain sight. Next. Oh wait, there is no next!

Good thing: At least I can admit that this show doesn't pull any punches. Oh no, I'm not talking about the dream sequence, I'm talking about the ending. At first, I did not really like it, as I thought it was another way for the villain to just snatch everything away at the last minute. However, once we learn more about Lena in the next episode, it makes a lot more sense.

And that's the least best! I really did not want to leave this negativity up for too long without its opposite, so the best list will be up on Wednesday rather than next week. Stay tuned!

← The Shorts (Part 2) 🦆 The Absolute Best! →

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

tbh you’re probably right that it’s for the best that gossip girl didn’t touch dan/nate given the way the writers did, well... everything lmao. but! rewatching season 2 and i can’t help but want them to be boyfriends. 🥺 their tiny arc was so good!!! which leads me to the question: if the show WAS going to go there but still maintain its same escapist tone, how do you think the storyline might have gone? (best case, and like, realistic case lol)

haha, i KNOW. god, i know. and i think as the later seasons had everyone behaving weirdly, the dan & nate friendship remained pretty healthy and pure, and i also feel like chace and penn added something to the dynamic? forever thinking about that actors on actors interview of them both where they talk about how they enjoyed all the little scenes d&n had together. 

i feel like d/n could never really have been an endgame ship, if they had been canon, just running off the general theme of like. how much this show always disappoints me dhsklkdfhg. ok but jokes aside, i think this is how it’d go...

under the cut! lmao, RIP.

 after the derena/ nate & catherine stuff in the initial bit of s2 (ick) there would be no natessa/derena. once nate moves in with the humphreys, i think they would eventually start dating. there wouldn’t need to be much build up or slow burn. i think it’d be hilarious if chuck somehow was instrumental in this, because i remember nate & chuck fighting/ not being on good terms? 

so, imagine chuck saying to nate, “why humdrum humphrey anyway? i could help you through whatever you’re going through, always have, always will ;) i know you nathaniel, your sense of pride and how you never want anyone to see you in a situation of weakness. what is it about humphrey that makes you want to play damsel in distress, to be saved by him? do you like him or something?” and nate would just be sarcastic/pissed off but the words would stay stuck in his head. meanwhile, jenny would find some of dan’s writing and call him aside and be like, ‘you left this notebook open - i swear i didn’t mean to read it i was looking for something else - and dan, i legit cannot tell if this love poem is for nate or serena?’ and dan would be like, ‘haha, serena, obviously, i’m super heterosexual, i’m the straightest man in all of new york, why would you ask,’ and jenny wouldn’t buy it, and dan also wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. 

they’d get together eventually! it would happen in some hilarious way, i have no idea. they’d try and keep it quiet / off gossip girl, because of nate’s family ,but most of their friends would know. i feel like serena would be annoyed by it, in similar ways that she didn’t like dan/blair but her behaviour wouldn’t be as bad, and she would probably come around. vanessa too i feel would be initially jealous but she would come around quicker. i feel it would be genre wise totally in character to have some sort of chuck & blair try and break up dan & nate nonsense, and i don’t think it’d work. 

rufus, i feel, would not like it, not for homophobic reasons, but, “son. you deserve to be with someone who is willing to be public with you. not someone who is treating you like a dirty little secret.” / “dad, it’s not like that.” / “i’m just worried that you’re making him your family and first priority, and he’s never going to choose you first.” / “nate loves me, dad, i can’t ask him to rock the boat with his family. you don’t understand.” etc etc.

i do think they would either break up in a similar way to the natessa breakup, but i also feel like dan would be more sympathetic to nate’s feeling of owing the family something, and not take it personally (again, i think vanessa was entirely justified in the way she responded to nate’s entire thing, i just feel like dan is a complacent little dude slkahfkldh). i was talking to liz about how im one day going to write a s3 date au  in which nate is telling dan about how he’s going to date a republican to piss off his family and dan is like *judgemental look * you’d date a republican? and then he’s like. nate. if you want to piss off your family that badly, why don’t you just pretend to date me? and yeah, you can see where this is going.

so i think that’d be a fun thing to write re: them getting together, but i think here, this would be a perfect way to get them to break-up. nate is like, dan, what if we went public with my family, and dan is all like ‘omg really bro?’ and then he realises it’s nate’s idea to just cause a scandal, and he’s deeply hurt, because it’s like, ‘you basically just want to use your relationship with me, and well, essentially, use me to solve your problems? i thought we were doing this for us, nate, but clearly we’re doing this for you.’ and nate would be like, ‘that isn’t fair, i have to put my family first,’ and dan’s like ‘sure, you have to. when have they EVER put you first?’ and nate would be like, ‘it’s like how you love jenny more than me. family always comes first’ and dan would be like ‘how dare you compare jenny to those people’ etc etc etc basically it would get very nasty and i see them breaking up in s3. 

s4 is another GAY season like i think it’d make sense if during the d/s/n love triangle nonsense & also just during the milo arc, we have them dating. i feel like the fact that we already have, in canon, dan basically telling nate first (and only nate) that he has a baby is... pretty gay. it’d be cool if juliet’s manipulation of nate (assuming there is a juliet) went along the lines of, ‘you’re still in love with dan humphrey, and you should give dating him another shot.’ so then the whole thing with serena feeling left out and all that is accomplished, and accomplished better than it would be with danessa/ julinate (haha, what a shipname.) 

again, i don’t think they would ever be written as endgame, and i think they would break up again at some point, maybe because of the serena thing. this time wouldn’t be like the other time, because they both know serena is there and is maybe going to date one of them, maybe wants one of them more than the other. and serena was their dream girl at one point (maybe she no longer is.) and dan would definitely be insecure about this i feel because like - why would nate, or anyone really, date him when they could be dating serena? i feel like he’d probably sabotage their relationship on purpose, or something. i really feel like losing milo gives dan, like, the potential for some emotionally terrible life choices.

so, there we go! slots in with show canon reasonably well, i suppose. we still get our dair and everything else. that said! the way i feel about most of these characters most of the time is like. they do not deserve this show. i want to put them in other shows and movies. like. can you imagine serena in some kind of experimental indie coming of age leaving home roadtrip film? that would be SO good. we already talk about the romcom nature of d/b. i just feel like d/n was so... idk. they were such bros, i found it really sweet and fascinating that nate was able to bring out a side of dan that was so... informal? is the best word? 

[djmunden]

Thousand Scars Author Interview

Hey guys, back with a new isolation interview! I’ll have an SPFBO author interview ready for the weekend, but I’d like to bring back an old survivor of the Scar den in Deston Munden. Hope you guys enjoy! 

First of all, tell me about yourself! What do you write?

Hello again! I’m Deston J. Munden, former SPFBO writer and now resident stuck in the house author. I’m a science fiction and fantasy author who is surviving all this craziness by stuffing his head full on Dungeons and Dragons characters and learning how to cook neat food. I’m the author of two series, Dargath Chronicles and Dusk Orbit Blues, both which are getting an audiobook real soon. It’s a pleasure to be back.

How do you develop your plots and characters?

I’ve been asked this quite a few times and I never feel like my answers are satisfactory, but nevertheless true. They just kinda come to me. There are small inciting events that makes me want to develop a character or a plot. It could just be me sitting and reading. It could just me be playing a game or roleplaying a completely unrelated character.  From there, I put them on what I called the simmer mode. I slowly develop them in my head until they are ready for the drafting phase.

Tell the world about your current project!

Dargath is a fun, high fantasy world that I created a while back. It’s a world where everyone has magic and no one is truly human. I wanted to create a world where magic was a common stance and everyone has a degree of it that is unique to them. Also, I wanted a world where the reader doesn’t go in with the natural biasness of starting with a human. Yes, there are human-like races, but I wanted to have this mystical feeling to everything. The world is split into two continents, eight races, and plenty of subraces. It’s rich in history, politics, and turmoil while also having that classic dungeons and dragons type of feeling to the world. If that seems like your type of thing, try me out!

Who would you say is the main character of your latest novel? And tell me a little bit about them!

Ser Torlyek is the main character of the novel that is coming out later this year. I’ve been marketing him as Neville Longbottom meets Thor from the MCU and Steven Universe. He’s my first autistic main character who adores knights and honor beyond anything else. He’s also a complex character who has a deep backstory with his family. Duke’s Brand follows him as he comes to terms with who he is now as well as him making friends along the way. I hope that you guys enjoy him as much as I enjoyed writing him.

Have you been to any conventions? If so, tell me a little about them!

I’ve been to so many conventions! They are some of my favorite places to go for vacations. They are so lively and powerful, and you get to meet so many fellow nerds. My goal this year was to finally sell my books at a convention. Sadly, that didn’t happen. Now, I’m going through convention withdrawal. If you never gone to a convention before, I’ll honestly suggest that you try it out. There are so many cool things that you can find and you’ll meet so many cool people.

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?

I realized that I wanted to be a writer when I was young. Luckily, none of my teachers tried to squash that love. Instead, they tried their hardest to cultivate the talent that they saw. I always wrote fan fictions and loved the creative writing assignments given to me. But, it wasn’t until after college where I realized this was a career I could do. Self-publishing opened an entirely new opportunity for me and ever since I’ve been pushing myself more and more to expand my dream into a reality.

If you had the opportunity to live anywhere in the world for a year while writing a book that took place in that same setting, where would you choose?

Rome, hands down. There’s so much history there that I would love to explore and set a story within. I think it would be fun to explore the mythology and the people of rome and wrapping that up in a story that I would write.

What advice would you give new writers?

Finish. That. First. Draft. I’ve seen so many new writers get into what I call the world building loop or worse the first chapter loop. Its when a new writer keeps world building or writing the first chapter endlessly until the end of time. That is not how you’re going to improve. You’re going to have to finish that first draft at one point or another. Not to say pre-writing is not important, however, if you’re stuck on it you need to start on the first draft. As a new writer, learning how to finish a project is key.

What real-life inspirations did you draw from for the worldbuilding?

Too many. I usually get inspiration from history, cultures, food, architecture, generally whatever that I think would make my world feel richer and livelier. Each of the races are inspired somewhat after certain regions of our world albeit blended in such a way to better fit the region I’m going for. I’ve used things from Africa, the Middle East, Medieval Europe, Egypt, etc to make my world feel stronger and cohesive. It’s a fun experience as a history and culture nerd.

What inspires you to write?

I enjoy it. That’s the long and short of it all. Writing is a passion of mine. I love sitting down at the computer and letting my imagination go wild. There’s a magic to it all. I used to write after I finished my schoolwork in class just for fun. I didn’t realize that was weird until my teacher saw me doing it while everyone else was playing games on the computer. Writing is my creative outlet and without it I might burst.

What is the hardest part of writing for you?

The hardest part for me is keeping the pace with everything. There’s a lot that goes into be an author. Some days I just want to sit down and write, but I know I can’t do that all the time. There are days where I’m going to have to research, do my social media, and market the books I already have released. Managing my time has become quite difficult.

What is your routine when writing, if any? If you don’t follow a routine, why not?

My routine is usually 8-4 every weekday. If I don’t follow this schedule, I will and can work myself to death.

What was your favorite chapter (or part) to write in any of your books, and why?

This is spoiler territory. There’s a certain scene in Tavern that I really enjoy that has made people lose their marbles and I always laugh manically about when I get a message about it. Recently though, I’ve been getting a lot of “OMG” about a certain scene in the middle of Dusk Mountain Blues. It makes me giggle. I might be evil.

What these two scenes have in common is that I throw the reader for a loop. I love doing that.  

Did you learn anything from writing your latest book? If so, what was it?

Writing Duke’s Brand and Dusk Ocean Blues taught me a lot how to condense my writing style a bit. Lately, I’ve been trying to hone my writing style a bit. I feel like writing these two books has helped that a lot going forward.

Are you a plotter or a pantser? A gardener or an architect?

I am definitely a pantser. I’m all about writing it and winging it until I get to the second draft.

If you had to give up either snacks and drinks during writing sessions, or music, which would you find more difficult to say goodbye to?

Definitely snacks. I can give up music if I had to, but snacks I need to survive. I can’t imagine how I’ll get through certain parts of my novel without snacking on some chips or some other ungodly unhealthy food or beverage.

Which is your favorite season to write in, and why?

Spring. There is something about the temperature and the outside environment that brings out the power in me.

It’s sometimes difficult to get into understanding the characters we write. How do you go about it?

It’s all about learning how that character ticks. The big thing I’ve realized about getting in the mindset of a character is knowing their motivation. A person drive and ambition tell a lot about the character as a whole and getting into the mindset of them. You gotta realize what they want to realize who they are. From there, I think, their personalities, dreams, relationships, etc becomes more apparent the more you write it.

What are your future project(s)?

Dusk Ocean Blues (Book 2 of Dusk Orbit Blues)

Undergrove (Book 3 of Dargath Chronicles)

Dusk Country Blues (Book 3 of Dusk Orbit Blues)

What is your favorite book ever written?

I’m pleading the fifth here. I enjoy all the books that I’ve written so far. There are parts where I feel like I’ve done better in this book while others in that one. So at the end the day, I can’t choose.

Who are your favorite authors?

Traditionally Published: Brandon Sanderson, Patrick Rothfuss, Michael J. Sullivan, Robert Jordan, Scott Lynch, Jonathan French, Brent Weeks, Sean Grisby, and Gareth L. Powell, Renee April.

Self Published: James Jakins, Emmet Moss, Deck Matthews, Andy Peloquin, Bernard Bertram, Garrett B. Robinson.

There’s probably a million more.

What makes a good villain?

A good motivation and a strong personality. I’m the type of person that enjoys a big personality in my villain over sheer fear and power they may possess. The villains that have a good time while also having depth speak out to me. Yes, I do enjoy the looming dark lord type villain as well, but if I can somehow get both I’m a happy camper.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Cooking! It’s my favorite past time other than video games and tabletop RPGs. I’m not as good as it as other people, but I’m trying my best and I’m learning every day!

If you couldn’t be an author, what ideal job would you like to do?

A chef! Like I said before, cooking is a fun hobby and being a chef/cook would be a fun job for me. I also like to bake, so a baker would be not too far behind. I just like working with food.

Coffee or Tea? Or (exult deep breath) what other drink do you prefer, if you like neither?

Tea! There are so many different types of teas and most which I can drink (because I can’t have a lot of caffeinated beverages). I prefer fruity teas, but I’m willing to try any of it.

You can travel to anywhere in the universe. Where would you go, and why?

Whew. I don’t know. I’ll probably want to try to find new planets to explore, specifically with new life.

Do you have any writing blogs you recommend?

No. I don’t have any writer blogs that I’ll recommend but check out the #writerblr tag on tumblr if you need any inspiration!

Do you have any writer friends you’d like to give a shoutout to?

Nicky Ball, Kathryn York, Hallie Fleischmann, Chris Barber, Dave Deickman, Emmet Moss, Bernard Bertram, and Deck Matthews to name a few!

Pick any three fiction characters. These are now your roadtrip crew. Where do you go and what do you do?

Clay Cooper from Kings of the Wyld, Matrim Couthon from Wheel of Time, and Wayne from The Alloy of Law.  

We’re gonna go on a rock-star tour and we’re gonna cause some trouble.

What superpower would you most like?

Super Strength. I know that’s a simple power to want to have but it would just make my life a whole lot easier. Being able to pick up a lot of things would be amazing.

What are two of your favorite covers of all time? (Not your own.)

Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames

Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

It’s a very difficult time right now for the world. When quarantine and pandemic comes to an end, what is the first thing you would like to do?

Travel more and meet some of my online friends. My goal this year was to travel more, get out there, and meet some of the people that I’ve been talking to for ages. The quarantine and pandemic put that to a screeching halt. I want to go to more conventions, I want to see more places, and I want just enjoy life more. This whole situation made me realize that I haven’t been out nearly as much as I want to be.

Finally, what is your preferred method to have readers get in touch with or follow you (i.e., website, personal blog, Facebook page, here on Goodreads, etc.) and link(s)?

Remember to follow me everywhere below and it was great coming back!

Website: www.djmunden.com

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Deston-J-Munden/e/B07Q2D6948/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SrBuffaloKnight

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authordjmunden/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/D.J.Munden/

Goodreads:

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/18874896.Deston_J_Munden If you have Kindle Unlimited, both of my books are available there too!

[stanskzseungmin]

SCB ~ Shifting Tides

Mafia! + Gangster! AU

Gangster! Changbin x F! Gangster! Reader x Mentioned! Woojin x Mentioned! Chan x Mentioned! Lee Know

Genre: Angst

Trigger Warnings: Drugs, Alcohol, Non Graphic Sexual Content, Slightly Graphic Depictions of Violence, Death, Rape, Self Harm, Kidnapping, Torture

Word Count: 8.5k

A/N: #NotProofread #WeDyingLikeMEN

A/N 2: Also kinda slow burn, because I’m not good at pacing lmao.

A/N 3: Title kinda doesn’t relate, but if you know, you know. I can’t wait for the next season.

A/N 4 (I’ll shut up after this dw): I did not like how it turned out because I hella rushed the ending. I wanted to get this beefy boy done and over with so… sorry if it wasn’t that great.

In life, there are limits. There are boundaries, fine lines that should never be crossed. But in a selfish world, the selfish succeeds. They thrive within the blurred lines that have been smudged and smeared to a gray area between black and white. However, is black and white really so different? Is it simply one is good and one is bad?

The color black can produce feelings of emptiness, gloom, sadness and rebellion. The color black is also affiliated with animosity, malicious intent and evil. Black can also symbolize fear or the unknown. In mainstream media, the bad guy is usually depicted donning black clothing and the good guy is in white. But is white as virtuous as it seems?

White is a visually loud color. It is hard to miss. White can be blinding and can cause headaches. It is also affiliated with coldness and loneliness. White could also be an emotional detachment or a complete cleansing and purge.

But what they both have in common, is to never judge a book by its cover.

It was a typical Friday night for you. Dark nights, crowded rooms packed with people, blaring music and flashing lights. You were feeling particularly randy that night. Boosted with liquid confidence, you adjust your wayyyy too short body hugging white dress. The dress seemed to hang dangerously low on your bust and is riding high up your thighs, leaving your rack on full display and your undergarment is barely peeking out. Your dress was riddled with many gems, rhinestones and glitter that almost made it appear as if you were glowing under the many lights of the bustling club.

Giggling to yourself, you drank the amber color liquid from your glass. You hummed pleasantly from the strong sweet rambunctious flavor and the light burning down your throat. Your head was swimming from the light buzz you were feeling as you let yourself go on the dancefloor raising your glass. 

It was one of those nights where you could feel the pent up frustration residing over you like an elephant keeping you pinned down under its large foot. You needed release and what’s a better way to release pent up stress other than sex? As you were swaying your hips sensually to the flow of the song, your eyes were searching for a physically attractive man that could make you forget the maladies of your past week. Your heart swelled with pride from the several men eyeing you like a piece of candy with their bottom lip captured between their teeth. You recognized a select few, but you were sworn to only affiliating yourself to each man once. Commitment wasn’t your style, you had too much to lose. You’d rather let whatever drunken feelings dissipate by morning’s light.

You recognized a cute faced honey brown haired male. He sat in a booth by himself with distant eyes that glanced at different points of interests of the club. You couldn’t remember his name, Woo.. Woo-something, not that you cared enough to remember. Sex with him was pleasantly surprising. You were expecting a bashful innocent boy judging from his face, but he was a sex god that packed quite a punch below the belt. Your eyes nearly rolled out of your sockets seeing him in all his glory. He really fucked you dumb with his magnum dick.

Another person you recognized was a guy with crispy blond hair. Black seemed to be a natural color for him; the dark leather complimented his pale skin perfectly. You couldn’t really put a finger on anything remotely close to his name. You only remember the thick Australian accent he had. His doesn’t compare to the size of the first, but him being vocal in bed made up for it. He wasn’t much of a moaner, more of a power trip dirty talker. His accent made it all the more worth it. You could still hear his sultry “Babygirl” being whispered in your ear and it sent chills down your spine.

The last guy you recognized was the blue haired performer on the club stage. He wore a skimpy outfit: a long sleeved crop top and a matching black booty shorts. The way he danced around that pole was so fluid, you wondered if he even had any bones. You only remembered his name because of how dumb it was. What kind of name was Lee Know anyway? Initially, you absolutely refused to moan out his dumb name, but how he used his stick when he dicked you down was jaw dropping. It’s probably because of his damn dancer hips.

You were currently being courted by this much older guy who reeks of alcohol, but you had a much higher standard. Your eyes caught a glimpse of this dark guy. He sat next to the Aussie. His body was facing you on the stool. His legs were wide open practically inviting you in between them, but his upper body was twisted and turned to face the same direction as the Aussie who was sitting with his back facing towards you. You rebuffed the older man who had his hands on your hips and is licking your neck, walking out of his grasp without sparing him a second glance. You stood in between the man dressed in full black’s legs and leaned forward, resting your hands on his thighs making sure to show off your rack. The male quickly whipped his upper body to face you with wide eyes. 

“Damn, babygirl,” the Aussie noticed your presence as well and gave a quick slap on your ass.

“Not tonight, baby boy,” you smirked with your eyes still glued to the handsome man before you.

The Aussie huffed as turned away taking another swig of his drink. You eyed the man before you. His dark hair was delicately tucked under his black cap. He wore a tight black tee that accentuates his broad and tone chest. He also had a leather jacket slung over one of his legs.

“Do you have a weapons license? Because look at these guns,” you chuckled feeling his broad muscles on his thick arms. 

The man scoffed with a small smile obviously amused by your attempts at flirting. 

“Not bad,” he smirked. Your ears buzzed hearing his raspy and rough voice. “You’re not so bad yourself.” Changbin chuckled reaching behind and roughly grabbed your thighs and pulled you onto his lap. You teased him a bit by grinding your clothed heat against his thigh.

“So your place or mine, handsome?” you inquired, biting your lip and running a finger along his fly. 

“Mine, it’s closer,” he whispered kissing along your neck.

You hummed in delight. “Shall we be off then?”

Changbin nodded softly, putting his hands on your hips and lifted you up slowly. He slapped the Aussie’s shoulder to signify that he was leaving. In an act of chivalry, he led you out of the bustling club with a hand on the small of your back and pushing away any drunk guys who’s trying to grab at you. Once you both were outside and the door closed behind you. The loud music transitioned to muffled noise. You shivered when you felt the cool breeze. It seemed as if a storm was coming in. Changbin then decadently draped his leather jacket over your exposed shoulders.

“So chivalry isn’t dead,” you chuckled.

“I’m not as bad as I look,” Changbin smirked outstretching an arm, pointing the direction of his apartment.

“I haven’t seen you around. You new to this area?”

“No, I actually frequent the club every week. You’re there every time,” Changbin chuckled, pulling out a cigarette and placing it within his lips. He offered the box to you with a cig protruding out. 

“And you’ve done nothing about it? I’m not that alluring to you?” you smirked accepting his cigarette and placing it between your lips as well. You both leaned forward so the ends touch. Changbin covered the connection with his hand as he lit both cigs simultaneously. 

He took one long drag of the cig and exhaling out the smoke. “I don’t take advantage of women.”

“How quaint.”

~

Once the doors have closed, all bets were off. Changbin has pinned you against his door as lips are met in a heated kiss with clashing teeth. You immediately shrugged off your (his) jacket, letting the leather material fall to the floor. Your hands flew to his belt and began loosening the material as he hiked up your already too short dress to get full access to your bottom.

“Are you gonna lead me to a bed or are you going to fuck me on this doorway, handsome?” you smirked, pulling away momentarily to catch a breath. He let out a guttural growl before hoisting you in his arms with his hands supporting your knees.

You both collapsed on the sheets as he pulled up the cover to drape over both your sweaty bodies.

“I never did catch your name,” he turned to face you, resting his head in his hand.

“Y/N,” you spoke out. “What about you, handsome?”

“SpearB,” he spoke out pridefully.

“Oh, so you’re CB97’s guy?” you smirked looking deep into his eyes.

His expression fell as his gaze darkened.

“You…know about us?” Changbin growled out threateningly.

“Only by name, it’s nice to put a face to it though,” you giggled patting his cheek softly. You sat up, swinging your legs off the edge of the bed and stood up, exposing your naked back in all of its glory to him. You bent down to slide on your party dress.

“Well, I shall be off. Thanks for the wild night, B,” you winked at him and tossed him your lace panty. He effortlessly caught it with his free hand. “A gift for you.”

Needless to say, you’ve caught Changbin’s attention. You were a total enigma that he desperately wanted to solve. It was icing on the cake that you were easy on the eyes as well.

“Chan hyung, do you think you can find out who that girl is?” Changbin asked leaning over Chan’s shoulder.

“Who do you think I am? CB97 is the best hacker in the underground,” Chan chuckled running his fingers through his blond hair and taking a long drag of his blunt. “Was she a good fuck?”

Changbin chuckled, “you had her before. How could you hold back this valuable information?”

“I never knew you were interested! Here, I got her,” Chan gestured Changbin to gaze at his laptop screen.

“Ally or enemy?” Changbin’s lips quirked upward gazing at the stunning picture of you.

“Amicable,” Chan clarified. 

Changbin hummed in response. “I want her. There’s something about her that’s so alluring. She’s like a puzzle box that I desperately want to solve.”

“Careful, mate. Every lovely rose has its own thorns,” Chan warned.

“It’ll be fine. She has no fixed affiliation with a specific gang, she could join ours as my girl,” Changbin smirked, the air filled with his hubris.

“Alright. It seems her day cover is a barista job at Yellow Wood Cafe. You can take bus 4419 there.”

~

It had been almost 2 months since you last saw Changbin. Of course you knew who he was. His actual name, his face and who he was affiliated with, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you saw him around. CB97 was a true mystery though. As far as you knew, he was never seen in public and several other gangs and mafias in the area tried to gather as much info on the man, but couldn’t even get a face, not even a name. 

You pulled your long hair into a high ponytail as you tie on your apron over your modest white dress shirt and black pencil skirt. It was early morning and you were the only one running the morning shift. Your coworkers would usually trickle in one by one about an hour to half before noon. There was also not that many customers, just the usual regulars. The second you see them walk in, you would get straight to work fixing up their drinks. As you served an elderly man his coffee, the hanging door bell rang as you were pouring the elderly man milk in his coffee.

“Welcome to Yellow Wood Caf…e,” you trailed off seeing the man standing in the doorway. His dark locks was slicked up exposing his forehead and showed off his intricate face. He wore clothing similar to what he had on when you saw him in the club: tight black shirt tucked into his dark jeans with fingerless leather gloves. The only thing different is that he was a very loose and worn black cotton vest. With his smirking face, it was Seo “SpearB” Changbin himself.

“For one,” he stated with his sultry voice.

“Anywhere you like,” you smiled with a plastic smile as you gestured to all the empty seats. You followed him to a corner table in the sun as he sat down in the wooden chair. You placed a menu on the table in front of him.

“No need,” he waved at the menu. “I just want coffee as dark as my soul.”

“So coffee with extra cream and sugar and a hefty amount of milk?”

Changbin spluttered choking on his saliva. “I am dark.”

“Sure,” you smirked as you walked away to pour a glass of dark coffee. 

You delicately placed the glass cup before him as you took the seat in front of him.

“Why are you here?” you frowned.

“What’s wrong with going to a cafe for coffee?” he smiled innocently.

“I don’t think you’re here for coffee,” you crossed your arms at his remark.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he responded coyly.

“Of course not,” you remarked sarcastically.

“Alright, you got me,” he brought up his hands up in surrender. “I’m just here for the barista.”

“No,” you stated with finality as you left your seat.

Changbin however didn’t let that phase him. Everyday that week, Changbin frequented your cafe, coming in at the same time, ordering the same drink and sitting in the same corner table. Every single time, he wore black clothing. If you didn’t know better, you would assume he wore the exact same clothing every single time.

“You’re not going to give up, aren’t you?” you snapped, pouring him his drink.

“Please, just join my bed and lay by my side,” Changbin smirked darkly.

You huffed. “Straight to the point, huh? Fine. I’ll meet you at your apartment tonight.”

Changbin internally cheered and threw up an imaginary fist in victory. His heart and stomach did flips within him, but externally, he was calm and collected as he took another sip of his coffee.

As promised, you did show up to his apartment late at night. It was around 10 when you finally arrived. Changbin sat around anxious twiddling his thumbs fearing that you had stood him up. In reality, you were caught up in work because the café was understaffed. A few of your coworkers were feverish and never showed. You showed up still in uniform.

By the time you and Changbin had gone a couple of rounds, it was well past midnight and a storm was brewing. Lightning flashed as rain lightly pattered the window.

“Why don’t you stay the night?” Changbin offered. “A storm looks as if it’s going to come in.”

You sighed sitting up on his bed. Changbin tossed you one of his hoodies that was discarded on the ground. 

“Your hoodie smells like shit,” you laughed sliding it over your naked body. You weren’t necessarily lying. The material reeked of alcohol, drugs and sex.

Changbin snorted sliding on a pair of black boxers.

“Might as well. I’ve already broken many rules staying here,” you sighed jumping back on his bed.

“What do you mean?” Changbin asked. 

“I don’t sleep with guys twice and look at us now going for round 2.”

“I’m flattered. Settling with just one dick isn’t your style?” Changbin chuckled.

“Commitment isn’t my style. I don’t want to catch feelings,” you frowned looking off to the side, unable to face him.

“Why is that?” Changbin asked concerned. His voice was laced with worry and his tone suggested that he was genuinely interested. You internally rolled your eyes at your thoughts.

“You could only be betrayed if you trust. You could only be heartbroken if you love. To experience pain, you had to feel. I don’t want to go through that again…” you trailed off. 

“Is this why you’re not tied with any gangs?” Changbin asked softly.

“Yes. I don’t trust people. They always end up leaving one way or another or using me.”

“I won’t leave you,” Changbin blurted out without thinking. You glared at the man after hearing his words. Even though Changbin hadn’t meant to say it, he meant it. He genuinely wanted to get to know you better.

“How can I trust you? You’re just a gangster at the end of the day,” you spat.

“Have you ever heard the saying ‘there is more honor among thieves than diplomats?’” Changbin started. “You and I both know that it holds water.”

You scoffed. He wasn’t technically wrong. Many of the gangs run on social solidarity and a sense of a brotherhood. Many people thrive on the fact that you can do stuff with your “brothers”: drink with your brothers, do drugs with your brothers, etc. It’s a way of escaping life. You, however, favor the physical relationships that would disappear by morning’s light. You let out a loud groan, thinking long and hard about Changbin’s proposal. 

“Many people have hurt you. I won’t be one of them. I refuse to be a statistic.”

You stared deep within Changbin’s soul through his eyes. He seemed unphased and determined against your steel will. Not wanting to deal with his determination, you changed the subject.

“A drink isn’t going to cut it. You got any drugs?” You swung your legs over the edge of the bed as you waltzed out of his room with Changbin following suit. 

“Uhh..  yea. What are you hoping for?” Changbin asked pulling out ziplock bags of drugs and setting it on the table before you. “I have a fair bit of weed and a few that will definitely fuck you up.”

“You don’t really seem like the type to do drugs,” you chuckled.

“I’m not. Just mainly weed and only then, I don’t do it much. You’re not the type to do drugs either.”

“Got me there. I’m actually planning to grab and go,” you jested lightheartedly, eliciting a laugh from him.

“Wow [by 3RACHA]. Going to make some bank off of drugs that’s not even yours. Shady.”

You laughed wholeheartedly in return.

“So,” you started off.

“So?” Changbin called off heading towards his mini fridge and grabbing two beers, handing one towards you.

“So you’ve gotten your gain. What is mine?” you asked with a hint of mischievousness laced in your voice, taking a small sip of your beer.

“You know this all underground stuff with gangs, killings, alcohol, drugs and shit. You can’t leave once you’re caught up with this shit. It just… takes control of your life. Your life isn’t yours anymore. Ya feel me?”

“Yea… I feel you,” you nodded. “Is this why you’ve never given out your actual name?”

“It’s sacred to me. It’s the only part of me I have left.”

~

Being alone in these sorts of dealings is way less than ideal, especially when you’re basically flying solo. You had no gang to watch over you and no family or friends to rely on. A price to pay in order to protect yourself. You would rather die alone, than die heartbroken.

Your day job did little to support you. You never would’ve predicted you would even end up in the life you’re in now. You felt pressured by the world, ready to give up. You found a way to relieve those built up tensions by many many one night stands. However, this has caused you a bit  of trouble since you unintentionally riled up underground crime lords who are spoiled rotten that they can not take no for an answer and stuck with the “if I can’t have you, no one can” kind of schtick. So you learned to survive and bounce around various protections but without actually getting involved. 

You were currently commissioned by one of the resident local gangs who needed your aid to ensure a highly important deal is a success. You were never told the details, just that it had to be passed. All you were told is that you were to meet up with your client's… client and trade the briefcase you’re provided with with theirs with the instructions to never look inside either of the briefcases. Your payment? Protection from those who want you gone before, during and after the deal. Afterwards, you would basically be set free as vulnerable as a deer caught in headlights until you find another job to do.

You fiddled with the hem of your black skin tight leather dress as another finger twisted and curled a strand of your hair. The briefcase was rested snugly by your feet as you leaned your body against the wall.

“Y/N?” a voice whispered out to you in the shadows.

“SpearB? Are you… the client?" 

"No… I’m the messenger. I didn’t think you were one of them,” Changbin set down his briefcase and crossed his arms.

“I’m the same as you, a messenger as well. I was hired to make sure this…whatever this is, is a success.”

“… I see.” Changbin paused. “You don’t need to do this you know? Hopping from job to job. One day you’re going to run into a gang who will see your job hopping as disloyalty. And you know what happens to people who are disloyal. You could come with us, with me.”

“I already said no, SpearB. I only agreed to try out…whatever we are. Don’t make this any harder for me and give me your damn briefcase!” You outreached your hand suggesting Changbin to just hand over his briefcase.

He sighed. “On one condition.”

“What?” you growled out. 

“Do jobs for CB97.”

“Sure, I’m going to do jobs for an enigma,” you grumbled reaching for the briefcase with Changbin lifting it above his head out of your reach. 

“Please,” Changbin whispered softly.

“Fine,” you gave in after a pause and handed him your briefcase and he handed you his. 

“You’re going to go back to your client right? Let me come with you,” Changbin walked forward and grasping your wrist gently.  

“No-”

“Please, I know who your guy is. He’s dangerous. I’m just a messenger, he probably won’t know who I am,” Changbin pressed. “I promised I wouldn’t leave you.”

You let out a loud defeated sigh.

~

“You were followed?” your client, growled out eyeing the dark male behind you.

“Hakuna your-tatas, babe. He’s with me,” you rolled your eyes, scoffing softly before proceeding to place your (Changbin’s) briefcase on the table.

“But you work alone…” your client eyed you warily, and carefully grabbed a hold of the briefcase with high precaution.

“You seem to know me. Clearly not well enough,” you waltzed over to Changbin with a slight swagger to your hips and grabbed his lower jaw. Your fingers pressed into the soft flesh of his cheeks and squishing them up. You chuckled internally at Changbin’s expression when you did that.

“He’s my baby boy, my boy toy. Surely, a pimp like you can understand,” you responded cheekily, yet carefully trying not to rile up your client. “Look at him being a good boy. Standing there silent, waiting for mommy to finish her job." 

You squished his cheeks even more until his lips scrunched up into an expression similar to a fish. You got up to your toes and gave him a light kiss to his lips. Needless to say, the glare Changbin shot towards you was priceless.

"Rigghhhttttt….” your client coughed out, feeling slightly awkward about the situation. He turned the briefcase towards him and began undoing the clasps. You slowly closed the gap between you and the client. You leaned forward slowly, the sounds of distress from your leather dress due to the stretch broke through the silence. Your pressed your palms onto the cool metal of the table and slowly spread your arms. Your client glanced up at you and down to your exposed cleavage. While he was distracted, Changbin circled around the room slowly, pretending to seem interested to the many dust unsettling from the ceiling. You eyed Changbin curiously. You confused glare burned through him. You were sure Changbin could feel your gaze boring into him due to him stiffing up momentarily.

“I did what you asked. I got your pretty briefcase. May I get going now? I promised my baby boy there a wild night,” you smirked, wanting nothing more to do with this man. You only cared about your payment for rent.

Your client snapped out of his daze of ogling over your cleavage. He cleared his throat and regained his composure.

“Of course, if this deal actually went through. You would get your payment,” he replied, carefully unclasping the briefcase. You hummed pleasantly in relief from him finally getting to the point.

“What the fuck?” your client seethed.

“Is something the matter, hand-” you were cut off by your client grasping your neck harshly. His large fingers wrapped around the delicate flesh most likely leaving bruises as he cut off your air supply.

“You bitch,” he spat at you. Flecks of saliva flew to your face as you attempted to pry his hand off of you. “You gave me a false briefcase, didn’t you. This shit is empty-”

“Let her go.” A soft click of a gun echoed through the air. Your client’s eyes widened at the realization that a gun was pressed to the back of his head. He slowly released your neck and raised his arms up. You stumbled backwards hacking and gasping for air.

“What?” your client’s voice was breathless. “Who?-”

“SpearB. Ring a bell? She didn’t swap your damn case. It was empty to begin with. Her orders were only to swap the case and bring it back and to never look at the contents.”

Your gaze darkened at Changbin’s words as you raised your head to glare at him. How did he know what your actual orders was?

Feeling a pair of eyes burning through him, Changbin glanced at you with an apologetic look.

“B? What the fuck?” You gritted out through clenched teeth.

A hesitation. A moment of weakness. That was all the client needed. Changbin eased up slightly to apologize. The client easily grabbed ahold of Changbin’s armed hand and twisted it behind his back trying wretch the weapon out of his hand. With hands quicker than the eye, the tables were quickly turned and it is now Changbin at gunpoint with his own gun. 

“SpearB? So you’re part of 3RACHA? I didn’t think 3RACHA cared about anyone other than yourselves? Only using everyone to benefit yourselves. Like that little lady over there-”

A shot. A singular shot rang out that had Changbin jumping in shock wide eyed. Ugly screams echoed throughout the small walls as red dripped down to the floor, splashing onto Changbin as well. The client quickly cowered back into the corner, dropping the gun in the process. His hands flew up to cup his now missing lower jaw, the mandible bouncing pathetically on the ground in between Changbin’s feet.

“Holy. Shit.” Changbin exasperated jumping away from the bloody jaw. He looked up to you shocked, yet in awe wielding a S&W revolver, a thin wispy smoke came from the barrel.

You quickly pointed your gun at Changbin who brought his hands up in surprise.

“Don’t shoot,” Changbin stated calmly yet alarmed. 

“Get out, B,” he nodded, bending down to grab his gun quickly and headed towards the door. 

“After you,” he gestured to the door politely.

The client’s howls of pain can be heard echoing down the alleyway once the door has been opened. Changbin quickly shut him up with a singular bullet in between his eyes and closing the door behind him. 

The second the door closes, you swung your leg backwards at an arn in an attempt to roundhouse kick him. Changbin reacts by blocking the hit with his forearm. His other hand instinctively grabbed at your ankle. You attempted to catch you balance by shifting your weight from your other foot to your palms pressing against the cold asphalt.

“Nice moves,” Changbin smirked, letting out a sultry chuckle. You huffed in annoyance.

“I was wondering where did you manage to hide that big boy?” He asked referring to the gun.

“Ever heard of a prison purse?” you retorted.

“Jesus Christ, that was a lot of heat woman.”

“So?”

Changbin backed off with both hands in the air, dropping your leg in the process.

“Whatever,” you growled crawling forwards to jump back on your feet. “How did you know what’s my mission?”

“My mission was to basically off the guy, but you’ve already got that covered,” Changbin crossed his arms ignoring your question.

“So you were using me?”

“No I-” he tried to interject, but you didn’t give him the chance. 

“Just save it, B,” you stormed off, feeling betrayed and used.

~

It’s been a week after that incident. The both of you end up in the same club you’ve met, but never again frequented afterwards. On opposite sides of the club, you were drinking and partying on the dance floor, grinding on random men trying to ease the heavy feeling in your heart. Changbin was at the bar chugging down cup after cup of the hard liquor with a blunt between two fingers. Your mind was swimming in alcohol, but the only thing you can think of was how much you fucking missed Changbin and seeing his back turned to you at the bar only emphasized those feelings.

You slumped down next to him on the stool and he turned to look at you with wide eyes. You noticed the blunt in his hands and frowned and a pang of pain bubbled in your chest.

“I thought you didn’t do drugs…” you whispered out.

“It’s just weed,” Changbin scoffed.

You both turned away from each other, both suddenly finding their glass cups very interesting.

“I’m sorry,” the pair confessed simultaneously.

“Wait what?” Changbin breathed out looking at you bewildered.

“Why are you sorry?” You squeaked out, surprised.

“For using you…” Changbin confesses looking down and slumping his shoulders. “It wasn’t that I meant to use you, it was just the cards I was dealt. I hadn’t expected you to be the man’s hired bargainer. I was under the impression that he would show up himself due to the utmost importance of this trade.”

“Yes… I completely understand that. It wasn’t your fault, you were just doing your job. That’s why I wanted to apologize… I was being unfair to you…” you trailed off. “I missed you, Changbin-”

You tried to stop yourself, but it was already too late. The damage was done. Changbin visibly stiffened up. His drunken brain sobered up to the sound of his own name.

“W-Wait, B,” you stammered.

Suddenly, it is as if the world disappeared around Changbin. The blaring music and bass faded away to muffles in his ears. His heartbeat echoed loudly in his ears. He felt small and helpless. Alone in this dark world with a singular light shining directly at him.

“B?” you whimpered out, your fingers grazing his muscles lightly. “SpearB… I- I didn’t mean-”

Changbin swiftly backhands you without a second thought. Your eyes were wide as your head turned from the force of the impact. Your cheek was red and stinging but it was nothing compared to guilt eating away at your soul. He then storms off, leaving a heartbroken you behind.

“Han!” Changbin called out to his junior. Changbin’s booming voice tearing through the club bass made his junior jump and choke on the smoke from the bong he was ripping. “Give me some of the heavy shit.”

Han coughed, trying to catch his breath. “Are you sure, hyung? I thought you didn’t do drugs?”

“I just need to get blasted right now,” Changbin eyed the various items on the table: several bags of probably meth and cocaine as well as several syringes of heroin plus the bong sitting on his lap.

“I gave you a blunt earlier?”

“For fuck’s sake, Jisung, just give me some crack cocaine or some shit.” Changbin snapped sitting opposite of Han in the booth, and pulling out a credit card. Jisung sighed and slid a ziplock bag filled with white powder in front of him. Changbin grabbed a hold of the plastic and dumped a generous amount directly on the table. He used his credit card to separate the powder into several lines.

“You got a bill?”

“What happened to all your money?” his junior going at it again with his bong. 

“I drank it,” Changbin replied seriously.

“I don’t think you should be doing drugs with alcohol.”

“I don’t need a lecture, Han,” Changbin grumbled leaning forward, plugging up a nostril, snorting up a line. Changbin sighed in content. A euphoric feeling washed over his body, turning his brain into putty.

Everybody in this club probably have done drugs at least once, mainly weed, but it’s a drug nonetheless. Some kept at it. His junior, Han “J.One” Jisung, has prob hit every one at least once. Some didn’t like how the after effects outweighed the euphoric effects and dropped it entirely like his senior,  Bang “CB97” Chan. But besides this, everyone has their drug, the drug that will just click and consume their entire body and soul.

Unfortunately for Changbin. It was cocaine. His alcohol intake hastened effects of the drug and he found the feeling to be addicting and euphoric. He felt as if he was on Cloud 9 and in heaven. 

And he couldn’t stop.

~

“Hey,” a voice called out. “Hey!”

You jolted awake at the hand shaking your shoulder gently. You winced at the pounding headache you had. You looked up recognizing the pale man with crispy blond hair.

“Sorry to wake you up, but do you know where SpearB is?” he asked. You can pick out his ear candy Australian accent.

Right. You remember where you were. You tried to find Changbin after he stormed off at the club after him giving you a nasty blow on your cheek, but to no success. You lost him within the crowd of clubbers and there were too many men trying to lay their hands on you. So you went to his apartment and fell asleep at his door waiting for his return.

“Is SpearB not with you?” the blond asked.

“N-no?” you stuttered. “He never came home?”

“Shit,” the blond breathed out, running a hand through his hair. “That was not the answer I wanted to hear.”

“What is it…?” You tried to remember the Aussie’s name, but nothing came to mind.

“CB97,” he responded, leaning against the wall and throwing his head back. His skull bounced off the wall lightly as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. You gasped, eyeing the blond in front of you.

CB97? THE CB97? An enigma in the underground and one of the most powerful men to top it off? And you’ve slept with him and then you’ve slept with one of his guys and deeply hurt him. Your mouth gaped open as all that ran in your mind was that you were thoroughly fucked and not by a dick.

“Relax. I have no quarrel with you,” he responded, smiling softly to show that he has no ill intentions. What he said next made your racing heart drop straight down to your stomach.

“SpearB is missing.”

~

Changbin awoke in a cold sweat. His head was throbbing. Everything felt cold. He felt cold, yet his body was burning up. Sweat was running down his temples and his back in streams causing his shirt to stick to his skin uncomfortably. Changbin was sobbing, tears were running down his face. It felt as if there were a million fire ants crawling beneath his skin, nipping and gnawing at his flesh as the symptoms of withdrawal hit him hard and fast.

Changbin squirmed and thrashed only to quickly realize that he was in a chair with his arms and legs bound and chained at the wrists and ankles. His heart was hammering in his chest not necessarily from the fear of being bound and imprisoned, more so from the side effects of his withdrawals as he screwed his eyes shut.

“Good morning, sunshine,” a voice called out. Changbin peeked at the figure in front of him. He was stood in the dark with a singular hanging light over Changbin. Changbin could barely make out the blurry figure; all he got was that he was dressed in all black with a hood, mask and sunglasses.

“What do you want?” Changbin rasped out, his throat was dry and it felt like he was swallowing pins and needles when he swallowed in attempt to moisturize his throat.

“You should know what I’m looking for,” the man chuckled. “Tell me who are the rest of 3RACHA.”

“No.” Changbin responded firmly without hesitation. A loud crack ran through the air not even a second later. Changbin’s head was thrown to the side, eyes wide and a split cheek.

“I’d suggest you make this easier on yourself and just give me the names,” the man growled sliding on black latex gloves.

It’s been a daze. Changbin had no idea how much time has passed. His face was battered and bruised and blood was running down his nose in streams staining his lips and teeth red as he has a constant metallic taste on his lips. He’s currently sitting in isolation alone in the dark with the light off. The room was soundproof with no windows so Changbin hadn’t the slightest what is going on outside or even where he was. His entire body was burning up and trembling profusely from his drug withdrawals and his stomach constricted painfully yearning for food.

Soon a door opened and the familiar man walked in closing the door behind him.

“Care to talk now?” 

“No,” the man’s response was a swift kick to Changbin’s torso causing him to double forward to cough and wheeze.

“So, how was it in isolation? Are you thirsty? Does your back hurt from being slouched over for too long?”

Changbin could only merely glare.

“Here, let me help.”

The man carefully unbounded the straps on Changbin’s wrists and ankles and proceeded to drag him out by his forearm. He didn’t take him very far, just the next room over. The next room was as bare as the one he was in, save for a singular table in the center along with hanging LED lights that were currently off.

“Get on,” the man commanded. Changbin reluctantly complied due to the piercing pain in his legs. Changbin lied flat on the cool metal table as the man strapped him down once more.

“Aren’t I so generous? You must be tired sitting in the dark all day long,” his tone was apathetic as he turned to leave and flicked the light switch on. Changbin winced at the harsh light shining directly to his face as he screwed his eyes shut. Suddenly, he heard a rattling of a chain and the sound of a metal trap door opening. Before he can fully comprehend what was happening, his nose and mouth were suddenly flooded with water. Changbin gasped and sputtered after the first wave. Before he could fully recover, a second wave came in and it kept coming. 

“Do you want to talk now?” the man’s voice played through an intercom.

“Fuck. You.” 

“Wrong answer.”

Changbin got waterboarded once more.

~

“I gotta say. You’re pretty impressive. Your resilience and determination would be awe inspiring if not annoying,” the man started, forcing a taser into Changbin’s chest. Changbin was now strapped back to his original chair after the man failed at breaking him with the use of waterboarding.

“Since you don’t want to talk about the other members of 3RACHA. Let’s talk about you,” the man started, walking circles around Changbin. 

“You’ve always been on your own. Taking control of your own life. Never bowing down to anyone or anything, but somehow the great SpearB was managed to be tamed and now you’re under the command of CB97. CB97,” the man chuckled speaking out that code name. “CB97. Ever the enigma. Managed to strap down one of the finest underground hitman, SpearB and one other. So much influence and power, yet no one can touch him. Not even a name or a face have come to light.”

Changbin eyed the man with pure hatred and disgust.

“But it seems CB97 isn’t the way to go here. How about that girl who has no affiliation in the underground?”

Changbin’s breath hitched. The man smiled wickedly. “Jackpot.”

~

“How long has it been since he’s been missing?” you asked pacing back and forth in the dark room. 

“A little over a week now. J.One is out there hustling for as much info as he can get,” CB97 informed. “A part of me was hoping he just went away for a little while and then reappear.”

“It’s all my fault,” you blurted out. “I always end up sleeping my way into a fucked up position.”

“I’m not blaming you and neither would SpearB.”

“What makes you say that for certain?”

“Because he loves you.”

~

Howls of pain ripped through Changbin’s throat, his throat now as red and raw and the pulsating flesh on his fingers.

“Did you really think she cared for you?” the man growled, wrenching off another fingernail with pliers.

“You don’t know anything about her,” Changbin growled out.

“Probably not, but she knows you. Seo Changbin is it not?”

“How did you-”

“What do you think?” the man smirked, turning away and pulling out an unknown syringe, giving it a light press and flicking it to get rid of oxygen bubbles.

“No. Not-” Changbin was cut off by the man injecting the strange liquid into his arm.

“Seo Changbin. August 11, 1999.”

“Shut up! Shut up!” Changbin’s vision was getting blurry as his head was turning to mush.

“Do you still believe that that girl is innocent? She only does what she does to benefit herself. Why do you think she has no affiliations? Why do you think she’s been keeping the fact that she knows your real name from you?”

Changbin’s head slumped forward in defeat.

“Now… tell me their names or I can bring her to you so you can watch her break.”

~

“You can’t be serious, Changbin? Even now you refuse to speak even with that drug I’ve injected and a knife deeply embedded in your thigh?”

“Go fuck yourself,” Changbin spat his blood at the man.

“I’ve had enough of you!”

“How ironic,” Changbin chuckled. “You’re trying to break me, but you’re the one breaking.”

Changbin couldn’t see the man’s face, but he could imagine the scowl he’s wearing and dilated eyes. The man growled and pulled out the knife. Changbin bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. He wouldn’t give his captor the final satisfaction of hearing his cry. The man brought the blade to Changbin’s neck, prompting him to bring his head up to glare at the man.

Before the man could do any damage, a muffled explosion went off in the background. The room shook slightly as dust unsettled from the ceiling. The door was busted open and in comes in CB97 and J.One, both wielding guns.

“Y/N,” CB97 called out. “SpearB out of here. We’ll take care of this mess.”

You appeared behind pair, nodding softly and rushed towards Changbin who passed out. His body finally shutting down after seeing the familiar faces, knowing that he was being saved.

~

Changbin wakes up some time later. His lips were chapped as he panted for air through his dry throat. Changbin’s eyes were bloodshot and heavy bags decorated his eyes. His head snapped up feeling a light pressure on his thigh.

“How are you feeling, B?” you asked softly, bandaging up his thigh.

“You.”

“B?-”

“Did you think you can take advantage of me? Just use me for your own benefit?”

“SpearB, please-” 

Changbin cut you off by flipping both your positions.

“What’s wrong? You take advantage of men by sleeping with them and seducing them? Look, I’m in just my boxers.”

“SpearB, stop. You were drugged, just go to sleep and we’ll talk-”

Changbin shut you up with a harsh slap.

“Talk? Just like how you talked to that guy who kidnapped me?” Changbin growled pulling your shorts and panties in one fell swoop.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you tried placing a hand on his chest to get him to slow down. Changbin very quickly pinned both your wrists above your head with a single hand, the other running up your (his) hoodie raking his fingers over your bare flesh. 

“Quiet and take it.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to obey him. You let out a shaky exhale when you felt a sharp pressure from down below. You winced once he began snapping his hips against yours without giving you any time to adjust.

“Did you really think you could take advantage of me like that? How does it feel now when the shoes on the other foot?”

“No, please. Just listen- Aah!” he cut you off with a particularly hard thrust. “P-please, that’s not how I truly feel about you. I meant what I said back at the club.” 

“Yeah? Then how do you feel?” he growled out.

“I would die for you.”

“Then perish.” Changbin’s eyes darkened as it bored into your soul. He pulled out of your throbbing heat as it pulsated lightly with pain. His sharp gaze looked at you expectantly as you sat up and curl into yourself feeling so exposed and little under his gaze.

You gasp out, nodding solemnly. You delicately pulled out a pocket knife from your discarded shorts you kept on you for self defense. You start just below your jawbone to the left and began slicing, blood is pouring out as the stainless steel blade sliced through skin, flesh and muscle like butter. The sight of the brilliant red liquid spewing out sobers up Changbin a bit. Changbin stops her by grabbing her wrist preventing further damage.

“Why did you stop me?” you seethed, tears pouring down your face.

“Because I didn’t think you were actually going to do it!” He snaps, gritting his teeth together. His breath fanned over your face, his eyes red and bloodshot.

“Let me go, Changbin,” you sniffled, forgetting why you were in this position in the first place.

The sound of his name escaping your lips fueled the burning rage within him. Memories of the club played through his mind like a broken record. The breathy sound of his name escaping your lips mixed in with the loud blaring bass of the club and the chatter of the surrounding clubbers. He finally realized the humiliation of having that last thing he held sacred been outed to the world, leaving him feeling small and vulnerable like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP,” he shouts like a mantra. “Don’t say that name like you OWN ME!”

You tried to back up and crawl away, but the throbbing pain in your nether regions and your putty legs made it difficult.

“B… SpearB, I’m sorry,” you sobbed out.

“JUST SHUT UP!” He very quickly overpowered you and bringing you down flush to the ground with his weight. 

“Just shut your whore mouth!” At this point, all Changbin saw was red. His large hands quickly wrapped around your small neck. Tears were dripping from his ducts, the droplets landing on your cheeks. You gasped and gurgled as you clawed his wrists to get him to let go. Crimson red began dotting at his wrists from where your nails broke skin as it slowly rolled down and joined the crimson fluid that was gushing through his fingers from your neck.

“Just shut up,” he sniffled, his voice cracking and breaking at the last word. Your eyes were blown out as tears free flowed down your temples soaking you messed locks. Drool was also dribbling out of the corner of your mouth.  

Suddenly black dots began appearing within both your visions for you from oxygen deprivation and for changbin from the side effects finally kicking in. Darkness finally enveloped the pair and Changbin slumped over your body as the light from your eyes faded and you took your final breath.

Daybreak broke, CB97 and J.One found their way into Changbin’s apartment.

CB97 very quickly notices a very naked Changbin and a semi naked you on the floor. He quickly rushed forward pulling Changbin off of you and attempted to shake him awake. J.One carefully pulled down the material of your (Changbin’s) hoodie to cover yourself and pressed his fingers against your neck hoping to find a pulse. He looked up at CB97 and shook his head.

Changbin wakes up in a slight daze, trying to get a footing of what happened last night. His head was throbbing as he blinked multiple times trying to get rid of the blurriness. What was discerning to him was how he could not for the life of him remember anything that happened after he passed out in that chair. Soon his vision focused on the blank stare of your body beside him.

“Y/N?” he whispered out. 

“Y/n? Y/N!” he struggled out of CB97’s grip and shoved J.One aside, sending his junior flying backwards straight on his ass.

Changbin tries waking Y/N up by shaking her shoulders vigorously but to no avail. Quickly Changbin pressed an ear to her chest.

“She isn’t breathing!” Changbin sobbed. “Save her!” 

CB97 and J.One attempt to pry him off you.

“Changbin stop! She’s gone.”

Changbin got out of their grip and rush over to you, cradling you softly in his arms as if you were made of glass.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry Y/N…” 

All CB97 and J.One could do was watch their friend in pity.

[fortunatelylori]

This is a long one: having read all of the sympathetic and convincing Sidney Parker posts here, I am wonder if you’re letting Sidney off a little too easily? It seems to me that no matter how much he may want to find love (as has been so eloquently argued here), he has not yet learned true selfless love imo. His half proposal is a point in case. Consider the comparison with Babbers.

Sidney: “What a brute I was… I hope that I am a different man now… If I have changed at all it is in no small part to you. I have never wanted to put myself in someone else’s power before. I have never wanted to care for anyone but myself.”Lord B: “My dear girl don’t you know that I am in love with you… It’s enough that you like me and that you trust me…I have no wish to own you…i want to make you happy. I could never try to lead or constrain you, Esther. All I ask is to walk through life by you

I know he was just getting warmed up, but Sidney’s expression of love is still very firmly about his own development and his own realisation, while Babs’s expression of love is very much about what he hopes to give, and what it means to love. Sidney’s growth arc is incomplete and he still hasn’t fully earned Charlotte, whom Rose Williams has made so generous, brave and loveable. You have already pointed out that this is the midway point in the story, and I completely agree.

But I would love to hear your thoughts on how this circle can be squared: Are we supposed to think that Sidney has done something noble by pimping himself out to Eliza Campion for the sake of his feckless brother and disappointing and destroying his own happiness and, more importantly by JA rules, that of a young inexperienced woman whom he has publicly shouted at, exposed himself to, felt up, kissed, and half proposed to?

Andrew Davies has put Sidney in a hell of a bind: If he breaks it off with Eliza now, he’s a dishonourable cad. If Eliza breaks it off with him, Charlotte looks like second prize to his first great love in the world’s eyes. If he marries Eliza and she dies and he runs back to Charlotte, how can we expect Char to enter that “river” again?

The only comparable situation in JA is Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars, and Edward’s honour was completely intact throughout: his secret engagement occurred when he was young and naïve; he retreated from Elinor once he realised he loved her before more damage was done; he stuck by the loathsome Miss Steele once their engagement was public despite wanting Elinor; Miss Steele throws him over for his brother making clear that she was only ever interested in money and feelings were not at stake.

By contrast, Sidney has broken the heart of an intelligent and worthy young woman for a venal and loveless marriage, though the cynical “bargain” seems to be that he try to love Eliza. Ugh. Badly done, Sidney! How can we redeem Sidney to the point of making him worthy of St. Charlotte? How can he be extricated from this mess without losing his honour and without making Charlotte suffer any further?I would love to see Charlotte released from the passivity she has been forced into here.

She has been robbed of any agency after being established as an active character – a toiler and a spinner. Perhaps she will concoct a way to save Sidney’s soul behind the scenes, showing him in the process what true selfless love looks and feels like. I have a weird feeling that in one episode someone said something like “Men need to be helped without ever knowing they’re being helped…” or something similar. That’s coming back to me now – maybe that’s the only direction this can take:

Charlotte orchestrates Sidney’s rescue with the help of Lady S and the Prince Regent and then retreats back to Heraclitus and rabbit hunting in Willingden, where Sidney comes to find her. After a spot of grovelling and sexy scything in the fields to show that he is not just a dandy city boy but a man of substance, he will win back our Charlotte. Whew! sorry forth long one, had to get it off my chest. Now, about that GOT ending…

Hey there!

Whew … that was INTENSE! Lol … I hope you really meant it when you said you wanted my thoughts on this take because you’re going to get them and …. I don’t think you’re going to like them.

So here goes nothing … I’m going to break this down into topics because your messages covers a lot of ground.

Firstly, the issue of selfless love:

When I was much, much, MUCH younger that I am now, I watched a little movie called Love Story (1970). This film was essentially The Notebook of my mother’s generation. And the most famous line in that film is:

Jenny: Love means never having to say you're sorry

The main female character is standing in the freezing cold with no way to enter her apartment because her husband got pissed off at her and bolted. And that’s what comes out of her mouth … Because love is selfless, right? You don’t need to apologize for anything EVER because love means never having to say you’re sorry.

Let me tell you something: THAT IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT! Anyone who believes romantic love should be selfless needs to reevaluate. The belief in selfless romantic love will not help anyone find that kind of love (because it doesn’t exist). What it will do is that it will allow that person to be prayed on by fuck bois/fuck girls everywhere because you are going to continually excuse their behavior … because you have to love them unconditionally, right? WRONG!

Selfless love is acceptable only in a parent-child dynamic. That’s it! As Cersei would put it:

Cersei: On that front, a mother has no choice

Romantic love is very much conditional on treatment, involvement and attraction. When it isn’t, that’s fertile ground for abuse.

You think this is romantic?

Babington: My dear girl, don’t you know that I am in love with you?

Esther: And what is that to me since I do not love you?

Babington: I don’t care. It’s enough that you like me and that you trust me.

What happens six months down the line when Babs catches Esther having sex with Edward in their marital bed? Do you think he’s still not going to care she doesn’t love him back? What Babington is doing in his proposal is lying to himself. No person who has ever been in love ever genuinely does not care if the object of his affection loves him back. We all want to be loved back. We pretend we don’t because we’re so desperate to have that person that we think we’re able to live without it or, most likely, because we think we can talk them round into loving us.

To be clear, I don’t think Esther will cheat on Babington with Edward. But you can bet your bottom dollar Edward will be coming back into her life in season 2 and that she won’t be over him. Guess who will get his heart put through the ringer?

Sidney’s proposal, on the other hand, is very much how an adult should suggest a lifelong commitment to another adult.

Sidney: If I have changed at all, it’s in no small part down to you. I have never wanted to put myself in someone else’s power before. I’ve never wanted to care for anyone but myself.

In his speech what Sidney is laying out is the following: I am well aware I have issues and that we’ve clashed around those issues time and time again. I am committing myself to fixing them because you make me want to do better. I have trust issues but you make me want to hand you my heart because I know you won’t hurt me. I want to share my life with you and make your needs a priority in my life because you make me less selfish.

I’m sorry … but I’ll take Sidney’s proposal over Babington’s any day of the week because Sidney has a plan for our future (lol) while Babington knows I don’t love him but he is so blinded by infatuation that he can’t see he’s promising something he can’t deliver on … and most crucially no one should deliver on.  

Sidney’s growth arc is incomplete and he still hasn’t fully earned Charlotte, whom Rose Williams has made so generous, brave and loveable.

I agree that Sidney’s arc is incomplete but so is Charlotte’s. She’s not fully come into her own either and this isn’t a matter of one character being flawless while the other has to work his way to her perfection.

Sidney doesn’t need to earn Charlotte because Charlotte is not a possession, she’s a person and Sidney is not some lecherous monster that needs to go through the 7 circles of hell in order to “earn” anything. Sidney and Charlotte are two people that have had some conflicts but nothing truly disastrous (until Sidney proposes to Eliza, that is) and in which they both have had their share of blame. It’s not like Sidney has been the sole aggressor in all of this. Charlotte has insulted him and mocked him in an assortment of ways.

In the end they have chosen to put those differences aside and have come together with a new understanding of who the other person is. They’ve chosen to love each other and accept each other’s flaws. There is no discrepancy in worth between the two of them that needs to be addressed by Sidney.

What should happen in a potential season 2 is that he will need to rebuild Charlotte’s trust after breaking it with his engagement to Eliza. But that discussion is separate since his initial proposal comes before the Tom Parker realizes he doesn’t have insurance debacle.

Are we supposed to think that Sidney has done something noble by pimping himself out to Eliza Campion for the sake of his feckless brother and disappointing and destroying his own happiness and, more importantly by JA rules, that of a young inexperienced woman whom he has publicly shouted at, exposed himself to, felt up, kissed, and half proposed to?

I think what we’re supposed to take from Sidney’s decision to sacrifice his happiness to help his brother is that his “outlier” facade was just that … a façade. Beneath all that is a man who is willing to go to extremes for the people he cares about. I also think that it shows Sidney, despite his outward confidence, doesn’t really love himself that much.

You’re making the mistake of assuming Sidney’s decision to marry Eliza is a rejection of Charlotte. I wouldn’t blame Charlotte for thinking it but we have a 360 view of the story that she doesn’t have the luxury of having.

We know Sidney loves her. We know he is heartbroken at having to let her go. But he doesn’t want his brother to go to jail and he has only 1 week to figure out a way out of the hole Tom has dug himself into. I’m pretty sure Eliza was the last option on the list of things Sidney tried to do in order to help his brother.

As for your implication that Sidney somehow dishonored Charlotte, it’s pretty obvious from the tone of the show that the whole “there always has to be a chaperone” and “no kissing before marriage” etc. are not rules they are choosing to include in their version of the regency. Charlotte leaves Sanditon with her reputation intact. It is her heart that is broken and I’d be willing to bet that in Sidney’s mind, he has already convinced himself that she will recover very quickly while he will be in pain for the rest of his life. Because … as I’ve said … he doesn’t love himself enough to realize just how much Charlotte loves him.

If he breaks it off with Eliza now, he’s a dishonourable cad. If Eliza breaks it off with him, Charlotte looks like second prize to his first great love in the world’s eyes. If he marries Eliza and she dies and he runs back to Charlotte, how can we expect Char to enter that “river” again? The only comparable situation in JA is Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars, and Edward’s honour was completely intact throughout

I’m not sure what your point is here? For starters, who cares what “the world” thinks? Charlotte will know that Sidney loves her and only her and that his engagement with Eliza was an act of desperation on his part. And so will we, the viewers, because and I quote:

Sidney: I don’t love her, you know.

Charlotte and Sidney’s situation is exactly the same as Eleanor and Edward’s, with the exception that Sidney didn’t flirt with Charlotte and almost proposed to her while being engaged to someone else the way Edward does.

And if we are going to take “the world’s” opinion into account, I’m pretty sure people very much speculated that Edward was nursing a broken heart over the woman for whom he risked everything, was disinherited and that abandoned him to marry his brother. After all why else would he retreat to the countryside and marry the almost old maid with no fortune, Eleanor Dashwood? See how you can spin anything into something negative if you want to?

How can we redeem Sidney to the point of making him worthy of St. Charlotte?

Sigh … Sidney has always been worthy of Charlotte. He is a good man ... with great AAAABBBSSSS. And while Charlotte getting her heart broken is deeply sad, I think it’s safe to say it’s Sidney that has gotten the truly shitty end of the stick. He has tied himself to a woman whom he does not love and who treats him like he’s her dog.

I don’t think people realize just how hopeless his situation is. It’s not like if he marries Eliza, he can get a divorce a few years down the line. He is stuck with the woman who betrayed him 10 years ago for the rest of his life. And he’s in this situation not even because of his own venal desires or greed. He’s in it to save his brother … a brother that will probably ruin himself regardless. That kind of thing eats at a person.

Charlotte’s state, on the other hand, is not permanent. I’m not trying to minimize her pain. Heartbreak is horrible and deeply traumatizing. But as everyone who has gone through it can tell you, it eventually goes away. You recover, you move on.

I don’t think she will need to go through the entire letting go process because she and Sidney will be reunited and everything will work out for the best but if she had to, she would go through it and come out the other side even stronger than she is now.

I would love to see Charlotte released from the passivity she has been forced into here. She has been robbed of any agency after being established as an active character – a toiler and a spinner. Perhaps she will concoct a way to save Sidney’s soul behind the scenes, showing him in the process what true selfless love looks and feels like.

See … this is confusing to me. On the one hand you think Sidney isn’t worthy of Charlotte, on the other you want her to save him. I would suggest it’s not Charlotte’s job to extract Sidney from the shitty situation he’s in. He has to do that for himself.

As for Charlotte being robbed of agency … what’s that even based on? What was she supposed to do in that situation? It’s not like there’s 80.000 pounds hidden under the Heywood family tree that Lassie can dig up …

After a spot of grovelling and sexy scything in the fields to show that he is not just a dandy city boy but a man of substance, he will win back our Charlotte

And this is the part where you truly lost me … As a born and bred city girl, with a generational line of city dwellers dating back centuries, I will have you know I have SUBSTANCE, ok?!?! I have many, many substances … I’m oh so substantiated and stuff.

All joking aside, why does Sidney need to prove that he is a man of substance? What the hell has he done to make anyone assume he isn’t?

I guess in the end our conflicting views come from our perceptions of Sidney as a person. I don’t think Sidney is a bad boy that needs to be redeemed through his love for Charlotte. I think he has always been a good man who is trying to do his best for those around him, who has had to deal with some pretty shitty situations in his life and who is involved in at least one toxic relationship (with his brother). In addition to that, he has a self-destructive streak (people who get dumped don’t necessarily react to it by setting fire to their whole lives and almost dying in the process) which makes it easy for him to prioritize Tom’s well-fare over his own life.

The reason why he falls so deeply in love with Charlotte is because she offers him a real chance of breaking out of those patterns and being able to be seen and loved for who he is. The problem is that toxic past relationships are still very much encroaching on his ability to move on with his life in a healthy way.

In order to break free, what Sidney needs isn’t to be saved. What he needs is to put a stop to the negative patterns that exist at the core of his relationship with Tom (and Mary by extension) and to put the whole Eliza relationship to rest.  

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG165! X_X

- I really wasn’t expecting to hear the calliope music again one day! That took me back to the end of season 3 – it felt like another (successful) Unknowing, a glimpse of what would have happened if the Circus had pulled through in MAG118/MAG119?

Also, confirmation that Tim definitely got his revenge and blew up the Circus to pieces, including Grimaldi/Nikola:

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: [LOW] I’m hoping if we’re quick, we can avoid her notice. MARTIN: “Her”? [SILENCE] J–Jon, please, don’t tell me there’s an evil clown doll down there– ARCHIVIST: No– MARTIN: –because… ARCHIVIST: N–no, Nikola died with The Unknowing; it’s, uh… [INHALE] An old friend.

At least, Tim got that T__T

- The pattern of beginning the statement with “There is…” already got broken with this one:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: … Wha…? [STATIC REACHING A PEAK] … “There is a place, deep in the heart of Fear, where you trap yourself and claim that it is safety. [STATIC DECREASES] It was once a cabin, and professes still to be such, but as with all in this new world that promises respite… it is a trap.”

(MAG163) ARCHIVIST: … Alright, then. [INHALE] [SIGH] [STATIC RISES] “There is a wound in the earth. [STATIC DECREASES] A bayonet gouge, scored through the soft and sodden mud for uncounted miles. A trench that marks the front line of a war that has no name. It has always been raging, deep in the hearts of the powerful and those that thirst to see bodies piled high in their name.”

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: “There is a sickness in this village. Perhaps you would not see it from a distance and the faint sting of rot on the breeze is easy enough to dismiss; but as you get closer, that infectious feeling of wrongness is harder and harder to shake. The grass is not the green of nature, the buildings are warped by more than age, and the voices that come from behind the inhabitants’ masks… are hoarse, and wet. They move with exaggerated casualness, a parody of idyllic village life.”

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] … Right. [STATIC RISES] “Your face is not your face is not your face [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] around the curling carousel, it twists in place to take from you and all the tattered stolen souls whose sense of ‘me’ is swollen and distended into nothing.

Could be because The Stranger (/the Circus/identity thieves/I-Do-Not-Know-You) is Like That and can’t conform to little boxes, or could be because there isn’t really a “pattern” to begin with, we’ll see with the next nightmare pockets.

Consistency-wise: the use of “you” (as a way to include/pull the listeners in?) went through the roof, but was understandable – “you” is “something/someone who isn’t me, in front of me”, and doesn’t need to be as personified as third person. Jon once again used “End recording” at the end of the ~statement~, which is… a reminder that 1°) these aren’t really statements as we knew them (Jon has never labelled them as such; actually, the only times characters have mentioned “statement(s)” this season were dead people mentioning them in the tapes Jon was listening to in the first two episodes); 2°) there is still that recording/pouring-into-the-tapes thing going on, that Jon is aware of, even if the tapes weren’t relevant in this episode for themselves. Unclear whether Jon had any influence on the tape recorder clicking on both times in the episode, or whether it autonomously reacted to stuff (Jon&Martin approaching the Merry-Go-Round, Jon&Martin walking along the edge of it while the Not!Them was coming close… or just because Jon&Martin were chatting about personal things?).

Still *squint* at what the heck is happening thanks to/through the tape recorders at the moment – it still reminds me of Albrecht von Closen pouring out his stories to Jonathan Fanshawe, there is still the possibility that Jon is feeding the tapes themselves to create something even worse, and mmmmm… (New kinds of Leitner books?)

- I’ve already forgotten almost everything I used to know about English poetry, but lots of iambic constructions (up and down) combined with lots of ternary syntactic structures (round, circularity)? My references are mostly French, but the work on sounds really reminded me of Antonin Artaud’s – though way faster, fittingly, since it was also a relentless chase in which selves kept getting stolen and lost (and so was my attention). Beautiful piece, but ooft did it keep losing me before I was picked back up and forced to run with the words again.

Lots of themes that we had seen with the Circus in previous manifestations:

(MAG119) ARCHIVIST: Yes… Yes, I s… I see the sad clown, b–bitter and hateful. I see him finding his way into a ci–circus where nobody knew him. I see him torn apart, becoming the mask, remade by a… a cruel ringmaster. Sometimes a doll, sometimes a mannequin, always hiding in somebody else’s skin. Somebody else’s name. NIKOLA: Not always, and it’s far too late for any of that. Nothing you see can help you. […] Tim… TIM: … Grimaldi. NIKOLA: Once, a long time ago, before Orsinov made me. And sometimes, even now, on special occasions. Like your brother!

(MAG128, Breekon) “When we left our destination, the mule whining at the new weight behind it, he would reach behind us and find a face, sagging, sloughing off its skull, and would pull it to him. He’d place it over the one he wore already, and he would laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Sometimes it fell off. Sometimes it stayed for weeks. I kept the face we chose, but I loved him for our levity, and the corpses piled ever higher. […] But with the Circus we were amongst our own kind at last. They all had names, true enough, but none would dare pretend that names were real. Faces changed more often than clothes, and nobody truly knew who anybody was, save for their function within the show. […] We didn’t like the puppet, when Orsinov began to carve it. It seemed wrong to us to try and bring one like us about; to create or remake it in such a solid, static shape. We were wrong, of course. When Orsinov carved into the thing that had once called itself Grimaldi, and fed the pieces they didn’t need to the shuddering organist, even we found ourselves impressed. And when the faceless puppet peeled its creator and moved itself with their tendon strings, he looked at me… and laughed… and laughed…”

Identity loss, the loss of self, permutability. But it’s interesting that it fit so well to the other Circus members we had encountered and… still was incredibly Hunt-y, with the premise of an ongoing chase where the victims become the new mob of predators (who may become victims once again if they are successful, etc.), taking place in a circular space, where things can never truly end. Really reminiscent of the concept of The Everchase, I feel? Fears bleeding into each other, etc.

(There could be something about a “(word) chain” of Fears, since MAG163 was mostly Slaughter/War and had bits of Corruption with the medical malpractices, then MAG164 was Corruption with what was identified as “strangers” being targeted more heavily, then MAG165 being Stranger with very a Hunt logic, which would lead to MAG166 going for Hunt… But I’m not really feeling it.)

- It wasn’t clear in MAG164, but this one also made explicit that people in the nightmares can’t really die-die – either they seem to respawn (or get stuck in a nightmare inside of a nightmare inside of a nightmare etc.?), either they just… can’t:

(MAG163) ARCHIVIST: “There is a rumbling in the earth around him, as a tank speeds along its unstoppable path, and Charlie is immediately pulled under its tread. He has a moment of shocked horror, before being reduced to a smear in the mud. […] Next to his bleeding corpse, Charlie wakes from what passes for sleep in this place. A sergeant is yelling at him, screaming for him to take his gun and get into the waiting transport.”

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: “And so they fall to frantic terror and conflict, just as vicious as it was when it was bearing down on you. You lie there in the fugue of vivid pain and feel that gentle rain from violence overhead, as some fall dead or close as this place lets you lie, for truly thus to die would be too eager an escape; and listen to the ebb and swell of slow, melodic wail that well you know conducts the flowing rhythm laced into this endless, faceless dance.”

Does The End feel cheated, or is the fear of dying (or the fear of not being allowed to die) enough to feed it? Will we meet a pocket mostly dominated by a facet of The End…?

- I wonder if we’ll meet people not yet taken by a “place” since we got a couple mentions of an outside/inside and people still coming in…

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: “And people do still come to the village, for however thick the paranoia, however terrible the disease, there are worse things beyond.”

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: “But no, for all the dreams of bounding, leaping off into the great Unknown, you see the ring of broken mewling wretches who have shown the sting that comes with such rejection of the truth, so seldom spoken yet inside you all, that there is no – way – off the merry-go-round. […] It’s not the same as what you had when first you climbed the brightly painted stairs, but not the worst “who” you have been.”

Are the places making people feel like they could leave/that there are newcomers, when they’ve actually been stuck here forever? Or are there people who are still “free” until they’re taken by one of the places? (I mean, outside of main characters: we already know that Daisy is tearing through these places, and that Basira is following her (though that… sounds like a Hunt nightmare in itself), and Jon was unable to tell where Melanie&Georgie were – so unless they’ve been taken by a Dark nightmare, they’re probably outside of the boxes somehow.)

- I’m still trying to narrow down what is making me feel uneasy this season so far, and it’s sadly not something that will be warned for in the content warnings: it’s… about the whole ideology regarding free-will, agency, guilt and responsibility.

So far, all the “nightmares” we have encountered made it clear that it was, yes, people prisoners of a nightmare tailored to make them suffer, but also in which… most of the violence was committed by people against people:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Something moves outside, struggling to crawl upon a hundred reaching grasping hands. It shudders, and grips the earth, pulling itself along as nails rip free and skin scrapes loose. It is afraid of what it has become, and where it might be going. […] Outside, it is raining. Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] They cannot breach the surface, as the slick soil flows down their throats.

(MAG163) ARCHIVIST: “Ishaan had been afraid, terrified that they were going to strap him to it, pin him to the Goliath’s hull like all the other flayed flags of war, striking fear into the hearts of the enemy. But instead they fed him to it, tossed him into its burning innards and sealed the hatch behind him. Now, his body has contorted itself to fit, his fingers clutched around the firing lever; pulling it frantically is the only thing that will reduce the impossible heat even for a moment. From the tiny slit in the metal, he can see other soldiers: baby-faced friends and the monstrous, pig-faced enemy, both falling beneath his iron coffin’s advance. He tries to cry, but his tears turn to steam. […] Hasanna’s eyes fall on the entrance to the tent, and she sees the line of civilians, stretching away into the distance. They are no less maimed, their agonies no more bearable; but there is simply no room. She tries to apologise – but instead, she closes the tent. […] Far in the distance, she sees Alexei look out over the battlefield, and her stomach turns at the detestable wrongness of his face. Alexei in turn looks out from deep in the trench. He catches sight of the enemy, their shrivelled rat-like heads causing the bile to rise in his throat.”

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: “It is, alas, those who are unblemished that suffer worst. So incomprehensible is it that any from outside could be clean, that there might be another source or vector, the inspectors devise another theory: an invisible infection. A hundred Typhoid Marys spreading mildew and decay. […] For no one would speak up if Gillian Smith were to mark you infected, or declare you foreign. No one would lift a finger as they dragged you to the green. […] What Mrs Kim is… is scared. Scared of her neighbours, scared of her friends, scared of the moment when someone will smell the spreading patch of darkness on her back and decide she is infected, or remember she has only been in the village since her grandfather’s day, and judge her to be an outsider. Should she accuse someone else? Send them to the village green? Perhaps she might petition to join the council, though that would invite their attention as much as anything might. Even through the masks, Mrs Kim knows the looks she gets in the pub; but what can she do? When she hears the shouts outside and sees the smoke pouring from the thatched roof, she knows it is too late.”

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: “The world in which the carousel will twirl is not the hollow hell you fear; it is the world. Just the world. A world where if you’d wish to have a name, it must be stolen, carved and pulled full-bloody from the frame of others who would wish in vain to hold their selfness close. You want a face? Take it. There are so many here; and those who cannot hold them, well, whoever chose to give them such a gift must take the blame, knowing they could never keep it in a world of so much thieving strangeness. […] You feel the last of names and “who” you might have been be torn away and borne towards new bodies. New pages, blank; determined to be people. […] then comes the briefest flash that surely now it’s done, so much, perhaps… the pain will be somewhat lessened. There’s no way it could hurt as much as you remember. But it does. And so of course, you scream, and scream; and curses, foul, obscene will tumble garbled over where there once sat other people’s lips or yours now gone, and teeth that once shone yellowed ivory a crimson in the flowing sanguine flood. And as you lie in agonies and fading dreams of personhood, of knowing who you were and what that might have meant, you hear the bitter whisper of recriminating seekers, who have found the treasure of their eager dreams, but see, it seems there’s not enough… for all. And so they fall to frantic terror and conflict, just as vicious as it was when it was bearing down on you. […] You are, of course, a faceless thing as well, and so should quickly match the pace of those who chase the self-same prey. But now, it is too late, they’ve gone. Their chase will not abate until their former friend is ripped apart in turn. And you have learned to wait. For there are many faces out upon the carousel, and many names that you might be. So bide your time a while and wait the coming of another one whose fate and face might sit upon your grinning carmine skull.

And I feel like there has been a shift compared to statements in previous seasons: it used to be monsters or eldritch things going after people, but we also got people trapped in these oppressive systems, who could have chosen their survival over others’… and still said “no”. Is that even possible in the nightmares? Are we assuming that people are constantly remade in order to keep the circles of violence going (in order to serve them) and that it’s going past a mere influence, that it’s erasing any responsibility in their actions? Or is it still an individual choice and are we heading towards the idea that anyone (or 99.99% of people) would choose to inflict direct violence against others if it means lessening their own pain? (I’m honestly super uncomfy about the latter idea, because it feels bleak and edgy to me, because it’s hard to forget that in this reasoning, marginalised people would always have it worse, and because it narratively feels like “cheating” to have Jon&Martin on the frontline, who are super fluffy and obviously wouldn’t push the other under a bus for their survival… while other people would just be eh, people. ;;) In summary: can people currently be held accountable for their actions, in the same way Daisy took responsibility for her Hunt-influenced actions, or are they deprived of any choice?

Interesting, though, is that in these nightmares, we… have never seen families or groups of friends, so far (Charlie had one, who seemed to exist just to get killed? The fungus village had neighbours who didn’t seem to know much about each other?). It feels like in rewriting reality, the Fears have also isolated people, fractured their previous social links to impose new “societies” with their own rules and mechanisms? Jon, at least, still labels them as “victims” even when aware of what is happening:

(MAG165) MARTIN: Because, uh… [LOWER] I really don’t like the look of those riders. ARCHIVIST: Would you believe me if I said they were the victims? MARTIN: … At this point, I’m not even surprised.

But I’m kind of wary and expecting an argument to be made about how Human Nature Is Fundamentally Selfish or something like this, precisely when The Web is lurking around and had such a knack for the theme of free will… ;;

- What does Jon know that he’s not sharing with Martin? He confirmed that they needed to “experience” these places to reach the Panopticon:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: Martin… It’s going to be a hard journey. MARTIN: [RELIEVED EXHALE] ARCHIVIST: One– MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah– ARCHIVIST: –in which we… MARTIN: –so, I’ve actually had a couple of bags packed for a while, now! [HEAVY ITEM DROPPED] ARCHIVIST: Oh! MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps.

(MAG163) ARCHIVIST: And if you walk towards it, eventually you’ll get there. But you have to go through everything in-between. […] Nightmares. [BANG IN THE DISTANCE] Come on – that trench is our first. […] MARTIN: Jon… I’m scared. ARCHIVIST: … Yes… That’s the idea…!

(MAG164) ARCHIVIST: We’re fine. MARTIN: A–are we? I mean, that place is– … I don’t, I don’t feel fine, okay, and you were there a long time doing your… y–you–your guidebook, which, you know, I get it, but that place is… I–it’s–it’s infectious, and, I don’t– ARCHIVIST: We’re not infected, Martin, that place, it– … It isn’t for us.

(MAG165) MARTIN: But. You said we needed to go through these places. … Is that even going to work here? ARCHIVIST: Uh… [EXHALE] We need to go through them… metaphorically. MARTIN: Mm… ! ARCHIVIST: Psychologically, we need to… “experience” them. MARTIN: Hm! [SILENCE] D’you think we could get that experience just… walking along the edge?

And his explanation of what they need to do is getting a bit more precise every time.

* It’s not only about Jon experiencing the places, it’s about them experiencing the places. Makes sense since they’re on a journey to the Panopticon, but still interesting: Jon gets overwhelmed by the places to the point of needing to do his “guidebook”; Martin doesn’t, past his discomfort/casual fears, but it’s working anyway. What is happening with Jon…?

* Fear.jpg because “experiencing” them had been mentioned by Elias/Jonah as a way to prepare Jon towards his goals:

(MAG092) ELIAS: [SIGH] What are you? ARCHIVIST: I… The Archivist. ELIAS: Precisely. It is your job to chronicle these things, to experience them, whether first-hand or through the eyes of others. To simply be told, well… ARCHIVIST: It doesn’t please your master? ELIAS: Our master, Jon.

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “Because the thing about the Archivist is that… well: it’s a bit of a misnomer. It might, perhaps, be better named “the Archive”. Because you do not administer and preserve the records of fear, Jon – you are a record of fear. Both in mind, as you walk the shuddering dread of each statement; and in body, as the Powers each leave their mark upon you. You are a living chronicle of terror.”

So what is happening exactly…? Is it because Jon simply needs to “experience” the various layers of the new world before reaching the centre of the storm? Are these steps actually “undoing” — or furthering — something…?

- Also confirmation that Martin&Jon seem immune to what is happening, as long as they don’t push their luck:

(MAG161) MARTIN: … Are we still safe? ARCHIVIST: Y–yes, it… it doesn’t want to harm me. MARTIN: And me? ARCHIVIST: I won’t let it.

(MAG163) MARTIN: Good. Good. [SILENCE PUNCTUATED BY PANTING] … J–J–Jon, Jon, w–we’re not alone. ARCHIVIST: I–ignore them, they’re not… Just ignore them. MARTIN: … They’re not… real? [VOICES SHOUTING IN THE DISTANCE] ARCHIVIST: [MIRTHLESS CHUCKLING] No…! They’re real; they were… normal people before the– … Before me. But now they’re here, meat for the grinder. I just mean there’s no point… talking to them. MARTIN: Don’t be a prick, Jon. Hey! I’m, I’m sorry about him. He’s–he’s going through a lot – well… we all are, I suppose, but well… “Hi”, I guess. [SILENCE] Hello? ARCHIVIST: They won’t hear you, Martin, they’re all… too busy waiting to die.

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: Either way, best not to actually climb onto the thing, if we could help it. […] MARTIN: You, you sure? [CHUCKLING] I could speak to an attendant! ARCHIVIST: [CAUTIOUS] I would advise against doing that. […] MARTIN: Jon, do we– do we need to run? NOT!SASHA: Oh, yes, Martin, you very much do. I’ll even give you a head start! ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLE] MARTIN: … Jon? ARCHIVIST: You’re bold! [FOOTSTEPS] I’ll give you that. NOT!SASHA: [HISSING] Last chance…! ARCHIVIST: Desperate for one last morsel of terror from us? NOT!SASHA: [HISSES] ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLE] A final sip, and then we’re gone! Somehow we manage to keep just ahead of you and get away. NOT!SASHA: [SNARLS] ARCHIVIST: God forbid you actually catch us. NOT!SASHA: [FURIOUS SNARLS] ARCHIVIST: Doesn’t bear thinking about…! MARTIN: Jon, what are you talking about? NOT!SASHA: [FURIOUS SNARLS] ARCHIVIST: She can’t touch us. We’re so far beyond her now. NOT!SASHA: [FURIOUS SNARLS] ARCHIVIST: She’s just like everything else here, ruled by The Eye. [CHUCKLING] And she hates it…!

Is it only because Jon is the Archivist, is it thanks to their connection to the Institute/the Eye (… after all, Basira apparently wasn’t taken)? What would happen to Martin if he were to be separated from Jon?

Also curious that both the Not!Them and The Distortion are what I would label “monsters” (as Martin&Simon did in MAG151), and yet the Not!Them was shown trapped… and Helen is roaming free. Did The Distortion lie about its own contentment in the new world? Did it get a better seat thanks to its connection to the Institute, since its Door had often appeared in the tunnels? (Helen had told Jon that this is how she knew a bit more about the tunnels, back in season 4.)

- Martin’s poetry is back as a theme! (Not included: Tim recording over one of Martin’s poems in MAG079.)

(MAG042) ARCHIVIST: I’m glad [Martin]’s moved out of the Archives, as it gives me a chance to work here without his constant presence. Also because he managed to leave some of his possessions behind. For the most part it’s just a few books of… relatively awful poetry… There are a few pieces I feel could almost have been affecting if his style wasn’t so obviously enamoured with Keats […].

(MAG124) MARTIN: Uh, yeah. Yeah, no, I’m… I’m alright, uh… Everything’s… fine. ARCHIVIST: … Right. Hum. … H–how’s… How–how’s the poetry? MARTIN: Oh, uh– Well, I haven’t… exactly had a lot of time recently, so… ARCHIVIST: Yes, uh… Of course… MARTIN: Hm. ARCHIVIST: You’ve been busy. MARTIN: Yeah. ARCHIVIST: …

(MAG165) MARTIN: So was it any good? ARCHIVIST: U–uh… What do you mean? MARTIN: Was it a good poem? ARCHIVIST: I don’t know! “No”? You’re the poetry expert, Martin, not me…! MARTIN: Well, did it stir any feeling in you? ARCHIVIST: Yes! “Nausea”. Because of the horrible things in it! MARTIN: That’s not quite what I meant. ARCHIVIST: Then I don’t know what you mean, Martin, I’m not a poetry person, I don’t… “get it”. I never have. MARTIN: That’s… That’s fine, I understand…! ARCHIVIST: Look. I’m better than I was; I used to think all poetry was bad. MARTIN: Sorry, what?! ARCHIVIST: I mean, I just thought of… [SIGH] I sort of thought it was pointless! Just… write some prose and stop… wasting everyone’s time! MARTIN: Hm! What changed? ARCHIVIST: I don’t know, I just… mellowed on it, I suppose. MARTIN: That’s… kind of weird. ARCHIVIST: In my defence, there is a lot of bad poetry out there.

* With this new information: it’s actually BIG from Jon that he had qualified Martin’s poetry as “almost affecting” given his personal feelings about poetry in general.

* Obviously, I want to tease Jon mercilessly about the idea that he began to mellow down on poetry since someone he was developing a crush on liked it so much… But also, just simply, people’s tastes change.

* … Okay, so if Jon managed to survive uni without getting poetry at all, either he did really well besides that, either it rules out that his degree might have been in literature. (History could fit him well?)

* … I find it interesting how Martin somehow managed to… not say anything about himself in this episode? We learned a few things about Jon – that he had fond memories of the London Zoo carousel, that he was in a bad mental space at a point before the Institute (break-up with Georgie? Being thrown in a new city for his academic studies, leaving Bournemouth? “Regular” student stress?), that he doesn’t get poetry but that his opinion has changed on it a bit.

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: Either way, best not to actually climb onto the thing, if we could help it. MARTIN: Fine – by – me, eh! Never really liked merry-go-rounds anyway. ARCHIVIST: No? You… gone on any recently? MARTIN: What? Uh– No, I don’t think so, not since I was a kid. ARCHIVIST: Hm! I actually, uh… There’s one at London Zoo – uh, was one at London Zoo. Big old thing. Went quite fast, actually, su–… [CHUCKLE] Surprisingly thrilling. MARTIN: [BURSTS OUT LAUGHING] ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: Seriously? ARCHIVIST: It was years back, before the Institute, I… I was in a weird place. Had a good time, though! MARTIN: [CHUCKLES] Well! ARCHIVIST: I mean, obviously I wouldn’t want to ride this one, we’ve got… quite enough thrills already. MARTIN: You, you sure? [CHUCKLING] I could speak to an attendant! ARCHIVIST: [CAUTIOUS] I would advise against doing that. [SILENCE]

But Martin? Asked questions for Jon to answer, but managed to avoid having to tell anything about his own past. It’s not really surprising, it’s kinda fitting – Martin has probably got into the habit of not telling much about himself because of his fake credentials and his fake age? But still, I wonder if he will talk about himself at some point… (I still feel like we’re missing his own perspective on his mother or Tim, for example, since these subjects were mostly mentioned by other people and Martin only even mentioned his mother’s death when he poured his heart out at Peter&Elias in MAG158).

- I randomly really really love Martin’s nasal “Fine by me”:

(MAG102) ARCHIVIST: What about Daisy? MARTIN: Don’t see her much. Which is fine by me. [UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE]

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: Either way, best not to actually climb onto the thing, if we could help it. MARTIN: Fine – by – me, eh! Never really liked merry-go-rounds anyway.

Martin…

- … So, hearing Not!Sasha like this confirms that she didn’t “take” Julia or Trevor! (I guess that one of them could have died from her attack or Daisy’s, but… at the very least, the Not!Them didn’t take on a new identity through them.)

- There are various ways of interpreting what the Not!Them said about Martin:

(MAG165) NOT!SASHA: And what if I let you choose this time, which one of you would I wear next? Martin looks very comfortable, positively roomy; oh, wouldn’t you agree, Archivist~?

… and my favourites are either that Martin indeed big, either she was making a tease about them (aND THEY’VE BEEN ROOMMATES).

- Jon Has Upgraded – the Not!Them used to call him “Jon” as a taunt, and now…

(MAG078) NOT!SASHA (HEAVILY DISTORTED, DISTANT): Jooooonnnn… ARCHIVIST: Er… I… [SOUND OF A CREAKY DOOR OPENING] MICHAEL: You – need – a door.

(MAG079) NOT!SASHA (DISTANT): Jooooonnnn… ARCHIVIST: Oh Christ. […] NOT!SASHA (DISTANT): Jooooon… Jooooon… Come out, come out, wherever you are. ARCHIVIST: [SCARED BREATHING] NOT!SASHA (DISTANT): It’s okay Jon; it’s Sasha. Reliable old Sasha. Nothing to be afraid of. … You seem stressed, Jon. You’ve been under a lot of pressure. You should talk about it. Have a real good chat. You like talking, don’t you, Jon? … I’m going to wear you, Jon. […] I’m glad we got a chance to run, Jon. It makes it so much more satisfying.

(MAG158) NOT!SASHA: [MUFFLED, HEAVILY DISTORTED] Jooo–ooon~! [SOUND OF STONE AND BRICK SHIFTING, LOUDER, THEN GRADUALLY STOPPING] NOT!SASHA: [HEAVILY DISTORTED] [PANTS] So you finally decided to let me out, Jon! Joooo–oooon~! … Who’s there? MARTIN: [PANICKED BREATHING] NOT!SASHA: Who let me out? [SILENCE] Don’t be shy. I just want to say thank you. [SILENCE] All right, have it your way. Now, if you’ll excuse me: I have some unfinished business. [MENACING SATISFIED LAUGHTER] […] [CRASHING SOUND] NOT!SASHA: Hello, Jon. DAISY: Oh, shit! ARCHIVIST: You gotta be fucking kidding m–

(MAG165) NOT!SASHA: Eh! My dearest colleagues…! MARTIN: Just get back! [THUMP] NOT!SASHA: I can’t believe you’d decide to pass through my neighbourhood and not say hello, to – dear – old – Sasha. ARCHIVIST: Just ignore it, Martin. NOT!SASHA: Oh, you wound me, Archivist. And we used to be so close! […] And what if I let you choose this time, which one of you would I wear next? Martin looks very comfortable, positively roomy; oh, wouldn’t you agree, Archivist~?

… it’s “Archivist”. He’s really had a special status/power-up, uh?

- So, The Distortion is having a blast in the new world (MAG164), or so it says… but it’s not fundamentally the case for all monsters/avatars out there. It makes sense for The Stranger since it had been presented as opposed to The Eye:

(MAG079) NOT!SASHA: So the monster got its friends to carry the table all around, and it still got to take faces and scare people. Then one day it was sent to the house of its enemy, which had the biggest eyes you ever did see. The monster was sent there to steal all its secrets, but it was sad because it couldn't scare anyone any more.

(MAG092) ELIAS: The Stranger is antithetical to us. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH HEAVILY] ELIAS: We thrive on ceaseless watching, on knowing too much. What we face is the hidden, the uncanny, and the unknown. If you are to stop them, you need to get better at seeing. And my explaining things is simply not enough.

(MAG119) SARAH: You… idiot! Do you really think the world will fare any better under the Watcher? You think you’re saving anyone?

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: She’s just like everything else here, ruled by The Eye. [CHUCKLING] And she hates it…! NOT!SASHA: Well, of course you want to wallow in my shame like your voyeur master! Do you know how it feels? To be… anonymous, and yet known? To have all the sweetest dread I can create tainted by the relentless gaze of that damned Eye! I’ve suffered enough!

So people from the (survivors of the) cult of the Divine Host probably won’t be extremely happy about it either – we know that some were still roaming around, Jon had mentioned seeing people with the pendant at the beginning of season 4. Martin mentioned their lack of allies in MAG164, are we heading towards them getting some “help” from unsatisfied avatars…?

- ;; I said I would put the Not!Them amongst the “monsters”, but technically… the victims in the carousel felt like proto-Not!Them themselves? And Not!Sasha had enough reasoning to try to go into denial – pretending that it could still catch and hurt Jon&Martin, while it knew that it couldn’t anyway, but ready to create the illusion that it could. That’s some very human mental structure…

- Sob, but also:

(MAG165) ARCHIVIST: Pathetic. [SHRILL SCREAMS] Martin, let’s go. NOT!SASHA: Not as pathetic as your little friend when I ate her life…!

… I really like the description of what she did as “eating Sasha’s life”: it was not only that it killed her; it’s that it erased and reshaped her whole life as a memory and a possible influence on others…

- ;; I’m even happier that we got Sasha’s tapes at the beginning of season 5, because it brought her back as a presence, as an existence, and not only as the concept of “the friend we lost but can’t really remember”. The Not!Them getting killed closes a very long chapter: Sasha’s murder at the end of season 1, which was a wound that kept being reopened (Jon realising that she had died long ago, then Martin&Tim having to learn about it; Nikola teasing Jon about her during The Unknowing; the Not!Them getting freed during the season 4 climax), the fact that the Not!Them had been spotted and described as soon as in MAG003, and also… the first time we heard of Adelard Dekker was when he imprisoned it within the Web table?

I’m especially ;; that The Stranger regularly used Sasha’s murder against Jon, and that it has always been a sore spot… until he snapped:

(MAG079) NOT!SASHA (DISTANT): … I’m going to wear you, Jon. I’m going to wear everything you are. Like you never existed. Noone will even know. And it will hurt. Oh, yes, it will hurt. It hurt Sasha. ARCHIVIST: Shut up! NOT!SASHA (CLOSE AND DISTORTED): There you are. […] ARCHIVIST: [WHISPERING] I’m sorry. Martin, Tim… Sasha. I’m so sorry. I should have… I didn’t… I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.

(MAG096) ARCHIVIST: He was a–a tax inspector. He came here, and Daniel Rawlings, or his replacement, showed him something he claimed to be the oldest piece of taxidermy in the world. Gorilla skin from Carthage. SARAH: Heh, was this when you sent your “Sasha” to interrogate us? ARCHIVIST: Don’t you dare talk about– DAISY: Sims. Sims. Shut up and focus.

(MAG119) ARCHIVIST: Who are you?! NIKOLA: Who am I? Tim, of course! Who else would I be! ARCHIVIST: You’re not– you’re not… Tim. NIKOLA: Oh, you caught me~ I’m… Sasha! ARCHIVIST: Shut up! NIKOLA: No~! Really, it’s me! Sasha– whatever her name was! Back from the dead, just like you wanted~! ARCHIVIST: Get away from me, or, or I swear I’ll… I’ll…

I mean. Yes, if Jon had to lose his temper and go terrifying due to feelings, it would be about Sasha’s murder ;;

- It’s also jarring how Jon used to be terrorised and victimised by monsters, and took the upper hand this time: the dynamic between him and the Not!Them in this episode was an extreme reversal of what had happened at the end of season 2. I’m also curious about how “Jon using his powers against other monsters” has felt more and more threatening over time:

(MAG091) ARCHIVIST: What, I? I–I didn’t– [RUSTLING NOISES] Plea– Please don’t shoot me… [SOUNDS OF PANIC] [STATIC] W–why are you doing this? Tell me! [GURGLES MORE AS DAISY GRABS HIM ROUND THE THROAT] DAISY: Stop – asking – questions.

(MAG101) MICHAEL: I had hoped that you would stop the Unknowing first, destroy the workings of I-Do-Not-Know-You. But instead you are here, and may bring it about faster. So better your death happens now…! ARCHIVIST: I… [STATIC] Is there anything I can do to stop you from killing me? MICHAEL: [LAUGHS] If you scream loud enough the Circus may take notice of me, but… I promise you will die far more pleasantly with me than with them. [MORE LAUGHTER]

(MAG119) NIKOLA&GERTRUDE: A terrible new world and it’s all your fault. GERTRUDE&LEITNER: Though I suppose you never really had a chance ARCHIVIST: … I see you. NIKOLA: Do you, now? ARCHIVIST: Yes… Yes, I s… I see the sad clown, b–bitter and hateful. I see him finding his way into a ci–circus where nobody knew him. I see him torn apart, becoming the mask, remade by a… a cruel ringmaster. Sometimes a doll, sometimes a mannequin, always hiding in somebody else’s skin. Somebody else’s name. NIKOLA: Not always, and it’s far too late for any of that. Nothing you see can help you.

(MAG128) BASIRA: Get. Out. [STATIC RISES] BREEKON: Make. Me. [RATTLING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: Stop. [HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING SOUND OVER STATIC] BREEKON: What’re you doing? BASIRA: … Jon…? What are you doing? BREEKON: What’re you– Stop it… Stop it! ARCHIVIST: [ECHOING] No. BREEKON: [STRUGGLING, BUZZING INCREASES] Enough! Stop… looking at me! [SCREAMS] [DOOR SLAMMED OPEN, FLEEING FOOTSTEPS WHILE BREEKON IS STILL SCREAMING, DOOR SLAMMING SHUT] ARCHIVIST: [PANTS] [HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING SOUND FADES] BASIRA: Jon…? ARCHIVIST: It’s fine…!

(MAG159) ARCHIVIST: … I, I don’t understand. PETER: And you won’t. Not from me. I’m done. ARCHIVIST: Tell me. [STATIC RISES] PETER: I’m. Not saying. Another. Word. [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: Tell me, or I will rip it out of you! [STATIC INCREASES] PETER: [STRUGGLING] No…! ARCHIVIST: Answer. My question! PETER: NO! Leave – me – ALONE! [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: TELL ME! PETER: [GROANING SCREAM] [RIPPING, EXPLODING SOUND] [STATIC FADES] ARCHIVIST: … Stubborn fool…

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “This place wishes to be our tomb. But The Eye does not wish that. No. [STATIC INCREASES] The Eye wishes instead that it be my chrysalis. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It is time that I emerge…” [STATIC REACHING A PEAK] […] I, I–I was listening, and I–I was filled with this… hatred. This anger; I–I wanted to leave, and hunt down Elias, a–and…! MARTIN: W–wow, okay… ARCHIVIST: But, when I thought it… the–there was… [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] There was something else. Th–this place, it… it didn’t want me, it… [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] didn’t want us to go.

(MAG165) NOT!SASHA: Not as pathetic as your little friend when I ate her life…! [RUMBLING SOUND] [THE CALLIOPE MUSIC DERAILS, TAKES A HIGHER PITCH] ARCHIVIST: … What did you say? [STATIC RISING: LOW AND SPIRALLING, PRESSURING] NOT!SASHA: [SHAKY BREATHES] I’m–I’m sorry… MARTIN: Jon? ARCHIVIST: You were wrong, you know. NOT!SASHA: [GASPS] [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: There is more suffering than you can ever experience, so much more. The horror of your victims… NOT!SASHA: [CRIES OF PAIN] ARCHIVIST: Their constant, senseless agony… NOT!SASHA: [CRIES OF PAIN] [STATIC INCREASES] ARCHIVIST: Feel it now. Understand it. You have drawn out so much despair, and now finally, it’s your turn. [STATIC INCREASES] [DIGITAL GLITCHING SOUNDS] Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze upon this wretched thing! [STATIC INCREASES, WITH MORE PRESSURE] NOT!SASHA: No! No, please, no…! [DIGITAL BURSTING, RIPPING SOUNDS] NOT!SASHA: [FADING] No…! [STATIC DECREASES AND FADES] ARCHIVIST: [PANTS]

Jon used to rely on compulsion to try to struggle his way out (when it was his only weapon), in a panic. But since MAG119, it has begun to feel as if something was coming out from it, as if he were possessed? It really feels like something is trying to come out (and we precisely began the season with The Eye wanting the cabin to be his “chrysalis” and Jon announcing that “he” would emerge…). There also had been a clear escalation in his use of his powers: from giving Tim the tools to prevent Nikola from achieving The Unknowing, to stopping Breekon when he was ready to fight Basira, to compelling Peter to death while Peter was resisting, to… an execution, triggered by his anger. Jon had made a point to tell Martin that the Not!Them couldn’t harm them; it was a murder purely motivated by anger. The Not!Them had it coming, and it’s really interesting that Jon weaponised the suffering of the Not!Them’s victims to force it to feel pain (so, a case of… forcing empathy on it?), but… still a murder, still scary, still concerning that Jon did that when Martin and him weren’t threatened, and that it happened when Jon’s feelings got out of hand.

(Jon, you’re just a shounen anime protagonist gdi.)

- And Jon did nooooooot feel fine with it:

(MAG165) MARTIN: … Whoa–oh–oh! ARCHIVIST: I, uh… MARTIN: What was that?! ARCHIVIST: … I–I destroyed it. [ECHOING CREAKING SOUNDS] Ki–killed her. MARTIN: Are you kidding me, you–you obliterated her! You… you smote her! [ECHOING CREAKING SOUNDS] ARCHIVIST: We, we should go. MARTIN: What about the merry-go-round? With her gone, is it, is it still th– ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t know! MARTIN: [CHUCKLING] Yes you do! ARCHIVIST: I–I don’t… want to know, plea– We need to go. [SHUFFLING] Please. MARTIN: Oh, oh, okay. A–alright. Alright. Lead on. [CREAKING SOUNDS]

* Martin sounded… kinda very very into it (mARTIN), not surprised – Martin was already ready to use whatever he can even if it means compromising himself. Jon sounded more upset, so I’m half-expecting them to discuss this at some point?

* It had already felt a bit like it with Peter (when Jon mentioned the powers of The Eye in relation to The Lonely), but it was way worse here: … Jon really felt like an actual priest of Beholding when he obliterated the Not!Them. As if he was accepting it as a god, and himself as its agent, able to channel its powers.

* It was also SO CLOSE to what Elias did to Melanie and Martin, with the whole implanting memories/truths in someone’s head to make them suffer… oofffft ;;

* ;; I’m. Also very concerned about the fact that the end of the episode seems to imply that Jon made it worse for the victims in the carousel, since we can hear it creaking. Has he just condemned these people to an actual death, or to worse doom? If it turns out that Jon has powers allowing him to have an effect on these nightmares, the fact he chooses to remain an observer and only “uses” the place to experience them will feel iffier and iffier… ;;

- Welp, it does clear up right away why The Web hasn’t tried to contact Jon directly. On a scale from calling his partner while Jon himself is further away to directly taunting him, how much self-preservation instinct do you have?

  MAG166’s title is… interesting, because?? Corruption?? But it also feels too easy?? (And would be the biggest Middle Finger at something Smirke mentioned in MAG138.) I see a way in which it could potentially be Hunt, or Flesh, or Vast, or Buried, or End, or Web (well… it’s more like there’s an existing connection for that one + RQ’s teasing about Web stuff this week), but, wow. Bold move.

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

alpha/beta are carol/daryl foils: an analysis no one asked for; twd s10 spoilers, obviously

hoo boy. okay, so i’ve been intending to write this for days, but i had to let it marinate, and also i haven’t been sleeping and couldn’t concentrate long enough to write it down, but whatever, i digress. “we are the end of the world” was something, wasn’t it?? it is so weird to have a plotline in twd that’s like...good? and SO refreshing to have a villain who isn’t a macho, rapey, white dude. i personally believe that all showrunners should be women from now on. oh, i’m digressing again, my apologies.

here’s the actual content, under the cut bc it’s a fucking novel:

so, from alpha’s very first episode, when i saw her shaving her head, i literally thought, “oh, so she’s carol’s foil and they’re going to have an inevitable showdown, huh?” guess who was right? this bitch. but what i didn’t catch right away was how beta is also daryl’s foil, and how the main focus of this season is alpha/beta vs carol/daryl.

let’s take it apart individually first, yeah?

carol vs. alpha:

like i said, the scene that made me instantly aware of what they were setting up was when alpha shaved her head. carol’s hair was a big thing in season 9, and the fact that we had just had henry talking about carol growing her hair out long, juxtaposed with alpha shaving hers off, is what set the alarm bells off for me. i have said over and over that i don’t believe kang does anything unintentionally, and girl loves her symbolism, so those two opposing scenes was a taste of what she was setting up.

carol and alpha are both near-indestructible forces who also happen to be mother’s suffering the loss of their children at the hand of the other. (carol isn’t directly responsible for lydia, but she’s included with “the others” that took lydia from alpha, so i think alpha still sees her as part of it.)

carol and alpha both have transformed themselves to fit within the confines of the world they currently live in, while recognizing that their children weren’t meant for it, even within their own grief. let us refer to figures a and b (lol) below.

figure a:

here in “the grove” we have creepy girl who i hate and am terrified of asking carol if sophia died because she was weak, and carol straight up is like, “yes.” she doesn’t even sugarcoat it. she accepted that her daughter wasn’t going to survive from the jump, because “there wasn’t a mean bone in her body.”

figure b:

here we see alpha losing her goddamn shit, because she’s having a come-to-jesus moment with beta about losing lydia, because she can’t have lydia and be the alpha at the same time, because lydia “is not like” her. 

conclusion: carol and alpha both mourn for their daughters, but have accepted that to be the people they need to be in the apocalypse, their children needed to die (or in lydia’s case, be dead metaphorically). in short, carol and alpha are two sides of the same coin. they’ve both found ways to survive, except one is for the good guys, and the other is for the bad guys, and now they’re head-to-head, and it is d e l i c i o u s.

moving on.

daryl vs beta:

idk why the parallels didn’t occur to me when they had daryl fighting beta. i blame henry, he was distracting me by being a delightful idiot (rip my dumb bitch), but that seed was planted in season 9, too. go kang for continuity. who knew twd could do that? anyway.

the big thing that compares daryl and beta is who they were before they found carol and alpha respectively. we obviously don’t know a whole lot of details about beta’s life, but we have enough to extrapolate and compare, and extrapolate and compare we shall.

alright, so we got our favorite lovable, filthy redneck, who grew up abused and isolated, and then here comes the apocalypse, and the only person he has left is his brother, and that’s what defines him until he loses him, both when rick chained him to a roof, and then again, after a brief relapse, when merle sacrificed himself. 

next we have beta, who again, our info is limited, but he does not become “beta” until after whoever that walker alpha puts down is gone. judging by the size, approximate age, and the closeness beta had to him, i’m betting on, you guessed it, his brother. 

observe:

figure a:

figure b:

these are both turning points for these men, where they Fully Become the dudes that we know. daryl couldn’t be the daryl we know and love until merle was gone for good, and whatever his actual name is couldn’t become beta until smiley face shirt guy was smooshed. 

(side note: how fucking rank does that t-shirt have to be by now? at least the mask dries out, but do you think that t-shirt is just like, melded into beta’s skin at this point? gross.)

so time for the fun part.

alpha/beta and caryl in season 10:

season 10 finds both duos in similar circumstances, by which i mean, alpha and carol are losing their minds, and beta and daryl are like, “uhhhh, you ok?” the men are these women’s confidants, their person, the one they trust and love above all others. carol saved daryl and brought him into a community, and alpha did the same thing with beta. you want more visual aides? well, sure thing, scout!

figure a:

we’re carylers, we already know carol’s the reason daryl has the confidence and self-esteem to become part of the group, but juxtapose this with the following pic, which i will label

figure b (again):

and you will see that alpha sees something in beta that no one else does. she sees this lonely, talented man, who’s adrift and in solitude, and she essentially calls dibs. sound familiar? inorite?

so daryl and beta are now loyal to a fault to their women, and this season already has them being wary of how they’re acting. yes, i have more pictures. i like taking screenshots, okay?

figure a:

one of the first scenes we get with caryl is daryl asking carol if she’s still thinking about alpha, and if she is Dwelling, which is interesting, because...

figure b:

...that’s exactly the same thing we get with alpha and beta. the first scene in “we are the end of the world” with the two of them in present day is him questioning her motives, and then later on he’s like, “fuck, are you Dwelling?” 

and both women immediately are like:

and neither dude knows wtf to do about this, because they’re used to the women being the strong ones. carol’s whole, “you’ve got to feel it, but not me, i’m good repressing, conceal don’t feel” thing, mixed with alpha’s, “we’re living like the dead and the dead don’t feel emotions so obviously I Am Fine” motto is what their boys are used to, but suddenly carol is hallucinating dead children, and alpha is making shrines, and our poor dudes are like, “plz stop???” esp bc they know these women are FUCKING TERRIFYING, and should never be left to their own devices if they’re being crazy crackers.

ergo, both men are clinging to the hope that they can bring the women back from the brink. my last visual aides, yes i know, how sad:

figure a:

figure b:

both scenes have these dudes reaching out to their women and essentially expressing, in their own way, “i’m worried about you, can you plz stay within eyesight at all times, ilu,” bc neither daryl nor beta is equipped to have a nice long sit down conversation about feelings, and obviously carol and alpha wouldn’t bother to entertain it in the first place, so like  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. they tried. 

will it work? unlikely! because after that showdown at the end of both eps 1 and 2, these bitches ain’t about to stop for nothing. they just straight up made enemies for life, and they’re going straight harry potter with this shit, neither can live while the other survives, someone has to die, and while beta and daryl are not super on board with this whole “being bonkers and bent on revenge” thing, you better bet your ass that they’re going to make sure their woman is the winner, which means they automatically are paired up against one another as well.

so in a nutshell: we could have just stuck goatees on mmb and norman reedus, cast them as alpha and beta, and called them mirror!verse caryl (star trek reference, yay/nay?), because they’re mother fucking foils setting up for the mother fucking fight of the century, and oh my god, can you feel it in your bones how exciting it is that it’s not going to be a rick + negan dick measuring contest again? i am So Hype.

and ofc, as a hardcore caryl shipper, i obviously have to throw in that alpha and beta are totally in love (which is esp fun, bc whisperers aren’t supposed to feel love, uh oh, vulcan violation, yes i made another star trek reference, bite me), and if they are paralleling caryl, well...extrapolate from the evidence.

i love kang, you guys. i love how she tells a story. i love that she knows how to tell a story. this show is good again, and idk how she did it, but damnit, she did.

thus endeth my pointless critical analysis. forgive me. i was an english major and have absolutely no other use for my degree.

i’m ashamed too. 

that’s all. tomorrow is the early release of the caryl episode, i mean the new episode. looking forward to dying a valiant death with the lot of you. until then, friends.

deuces,

-diz

addendum: i was editing this, and was trying to think if there’s a parallel to the bracelet scene, and the only thing i could think of that alpha gives beta is his mask. she encourages him to take the face of his brother(?), and that keeps him grounded, which is interesting, bc my prediction for the bracelet is that it’s going to end up being a grounding device for carol when she’s dissociating. i don’t have a solid conclusion drawn there, but i thought i’d mention it before posting, just to plant the seed. 

k, done 4 real, bye