#i need to go downstairs to get more snacks but. i am still in pain from the canoeing i'm afraid i'll fall down the stairs xhdbehdbeb | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tomtenadia · 4 months

Text

Detours to You - 30

Hello..

Here we are...this is the next to last chapter.

MASTERLIST

“Our son, he is coming.”

Rowan hung up and set the car in motion. His heart raced. He was about to become a dad. A ray of light in a very dark day.

Due to a hefty section of the city centre being closed, the traffic was now hellish and progress slowly. His phone rang again and he activated it via the bluetooth command on his wheel “Ae?”

“Where are you?” She sounded better and he relaxed.

“Stuck in traffic but coming. How are you?”

“In a fuckload of pain, but our boy is fine.”

“How far along?”

“Doc says six centimetres, you still have time, chief.”

“I think I know a shortcut, I will see you soon. Love you.”

His job had him driving a lot around the city and with time he had learned a lot of shortcuts. And this one allowed him to arrive at the hospital in a shorter time than anticipated.

At the hospital he bolted out of the car and ran for the maternity ward. At the reception the charge nurse gave him a glare and then he realised why. He was a mess, his face still dirty, same for his hands and neck. Of course they did not want him in such state in a place where there were newborns. He ran back to his car where he kept a change of uniform and then used one of the bathroom to get cleaned up and a bit more presentable. His hair was still darker then usual but he just placed his head under the sink and hoped for the best tying his hair in a man-bun.

Finally he got to Aelin’s room and saw her sitting on a yoga ball, with an IV attached her hand and Lys and Elide keeping her company.

“You are here.”

He kneeled and kissed her.

“You stink of smoke.”

Rowan let out a chuckle “I only had time to change in the hospital bathroom. This requires a shower.” He then turned to Elide “Lorcan is fine, but I would go home to him, this call was a lot for everyone.”

Elide looked at Aelin and she nodded “Go, I am fine, Rowan is here,” she turned to Lys “you too. Go home, relax. We will call you when you are an aunt.”

When they were alone, Rowan sat on the chair opposite to her and Aelin noticed the deep wariness in the lines on his face “we called my parents and your mum and Maya is with her.”

“How are you?” He caressed her face.

“This ball is amazing and it’s helping with some of the pain.”

Rowan moved at her back and started massaging the spot that he knew she loved. The sounds that left Aelin’s mouth were not for a public audience.

“Fireheart, they might think we are having sex.”

A grin spread on her face “an orgasm releases the happy hormone that might help my pain.”

Rowan’s ears turned red “Aelin I don’t think it’s appropriate.”

“Squeeze a boob? I know you love them.”

He sighed and kneeled behind her and his arm sneaked around her waist holding the belly. His mouth traced lazy circles on her neck and nibbled at her favourite spot behind the ear. She leaned back against him, then his hand travelled up and cupped a breast hiding under the hospital gown and Aelin moaned.

He then smacked a kiss on her neck and stood “I am starving, am I okay if I go downstairs and grab something? I have not eaten since this morning.”

Aelin stood and wore her gown “I am coming too.”

“Are you sure?”

“Walking is good.” She grabbed her IV and attached it to the carrier then grabbed his arm and slowly they walked down to the cafeteria.

Aelin snacked on some of his fries and inhaled the scent of coffee. She missed it.

By the time they got back to the room they were both exhausted. Rowan collapsed heavily on the chair and Aelin covered him with a blanket “rest a bit, you had a long day.”

“I can’t.”

“You will hear me screaming when it’s time, I am sure.”

But Rowan never managed to fall asleep. He brought the chair closer to the bed, grabbed her hand and placed it on his heart. He told her what happened, he felt bad at spoiling her day with such a sad story but he needed to unburden his soul. He needed her.

It was in the middle of the night when she patted his hand nervously “Rowan…”

“What is it?”

“He is coming.”

He ran outside and called for the doctor who, after a few checks, confirmed that yes, Aelin was ten centimetres and ready to deliver. He followed to the delivery room and was given a set of scrubs to wear on his clothes and then stood at her side “I am here, fireheart.” He kissed her forehead while she screamed in pain.

The doctor moved in-between her legs and told her that the baby was already crowning.

“Chief, come and see your son.”

Rowan stared at Aelin and she nodded so he moved and gasped when he saw the head.

“I can see him, fireheart.”

Aelin pushed and pushed and Rowan watched his son slowly be born.

The doctor took the infant away and he walked back to an exhausted Aelin “you are amazing,” a kiss “Aelin that was…”

“Buzzard, are you crying?”

He shrugged “he is here.”

She looked up at him and her heart melted at seeing him weep.

In the distance they heard the infant cry “that is a good sign.”

A moment later the nurse placed the bundle in Aelin’s arms and Rowan sat at her side “he’s beautiful.”

“And still a bit gross.” Aelin kissed the baby’s head “we do good babies, Whitethorn.”

“Wonder if he has your eyes.”

“I read it will take a while before it settles,” he added using the info he had read in all of his babies books.

“Maya was a shade of green already at birth and then it settled in you pine green.”

As if he heard them, their son opened his eyes and looked up “they are quite light. Hopefully they will be blue.”

Rowan kissed her head “anything, my love.”

“Do you want to go to your dad?” She passed him the baby and Rowan’s heart raced. He had missed all of that with Maya, but now he was going to be present in all the milestones of his son. Witnessing his first moments had been the experience of a lifetime.

“Hi you, I am your dad.”

Aelin stared at Rowan talking to their son and felt emotions well up at the image. Rowan was meant to be a dad.

He walked back and passed the child back “I am not supposed to take him away from you too long, skin on skin with the mother is important.”

Aelin took his hand “the father too.”

The nurse joined them a moment later, “have we settled on a name?

“Thomas,” said Rowan.

“Thomas, Alasdair Whitethorn-Galathynius.”added Aelin.

Rowan stared at her in disbelief.

“And I have the documents ready to change Maya’s surname legally to Whitethorn-Galathynius too.”

“I love you.” Was all that Rowan managed.

Once Aelin was back in her room, Rowan had started the round of calls and to fill his phone with his son’s pictures.

His mother with Maya and the Galathynius had been the first visitors.

Maya stormed in the room claiming that she was a big sister and wanted to see her brother. Rowan removed her shoes and placed her on the bed “Maya, meet Thomas.”

“Thomas, meet your big sister Maya.”

The girl leaned forward and kissed the boy “mama he smells nice.”

“Do you want to hold him?” Maya looked at her father in surprise.

Rowan moved behind her “sit down properly on the bed,” he helped her and showed her how to bend her arms and then he passed her her brother, always keeping a hand nearby to hover.

His mum stared at the image in front of her and took pictures at the same time.

Rowan looked at her and he knew where her thoughts had gone, because he was thinking about the same thing. His father should have been there to witness that moment and all of a sudden the pain of his loss came back for a brief visit. But luckily his daughter’s squeals of happiness brought him back.

Rowan then took his son from his sister’s arms and walked to his mother “mum, please meet Thomas Alasdair.”

A sob escaped Eiddwen’s lips and took her grandson “hello, mo chridhe. I am your grandma and I will love you so very much.”

The Galathynius arrived later “sorry it took us so long, the traffic is a nightmare.”

And Rowan for a moment remembered why and darkness threatened to resurfaced but as he stared at his son and daughter he managed to push the pain away.

“It might be a while before it gets fixed.” He added flatly and Aelin grabbed his hand.

“Is this our grandson?”

“Nana have you seen my brother?”

Evalin and Rhoe moved to Aelin “oh he is gorgeous.” She took him from his mother hands and cooed at the baby “and what’s your name, my love?”

“Thomas Alasdair,” added Rowan proudly and Evalin stared at both of them “it’s perfect.”

“Have you told Lys and Elide?”

Rowan lifted his phone and showed the video of Lys dancing in the living room and celebrating being an aunt.

Aelin and Rowan enjoyed the celebrations until the nurse took their son away claiming that it was time for his nap. Maya protested saying that she wanted to stay with her brother but they had to explain her that he was very little and had to rest.

Eventually they left and Eiddwen took Maya with her.

Rowan remained behind and sat on Aelin’s bed and she caressed his face “you should go home too, you are tired.” His forehead leaned against hers “No, I am staying.”

“Ro, please, I need you fully rested. We have two kids now.”

He chuckled “Okay, but I am back tomorrow morning.”

“We will be waiting for you.”

Rowan kissed her deeply “I love you. You are my everything, Aelin. You and our two children.”

Aelin pulled him closer. She could feel his residual pain and it broke her heart than on such a joyous days he could not be fully happy “you make me happy too, chief.”

Rowan gave her a last kiss and stood.

“Drive safe, please.”

He nodded and left.

The drive home had taken a while. He had received a call from the commissioner explaining that during overhaul they had discovered water infiltrations that had weakened the structure in the long run and the vibrations of the rails had worsened the structure. It had been a disaster waiting to happen and now an investigation had been opened.

Rowan finally got home. In the house he took in the unusual silence and it upset him. He was now so used to constantly hear the voices of his girls that the silence brought him back to a time when he was alone. Slowly, he climbed upstairs and got changed, then he dragged his tired body in Maya’s room and stared at it. The were some clothes abandoned on the bed so he placed away and then a chuckle left him when he spotted a skate peeking out from under the bed. Rowan grabbed her hockey kit and stored it away. He and Aelin had been trying hard to teach her to be tidy, but in that sense Maya was just as messy as her mum. With a smile on his face he finished clearing up and then he left, closing the door behind him.

A few steps down the corridor and Rowan reached a new room waiting for them. He had finished it just a few weeks before. They had gone for a pastel green theme. The crib had a mobile hanging over it with fairy creatures attached to it. Maya had chosen it. He took out his phone and stared at some of the pictures of his son and his heart swelled with love. It had taken a while but he was finally on track to have the family he had dreamt and at his side the love of his life.

taglist

@rowaelinismyotp @swankii-art-teacher @whimsicallyreading @elentiyawhitethorn @aelin-bitch-queen @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity @mis-lil-red @thegreyj @sailorsassley @leiawritesstories @clairec79 @morganofthewildfire @sv0430 @heartless--aromantic @autumnbabylon @rowanaelinn @susumaus98 @gracie-rosee @mybloodrunsblue @tanvee1231 @avenrebekah @whoever-you-choose-to-love @theywillnotsingforme @universallytreepost @black-daisy-water @goddess-aelin @whispers-in-the-darkest-heart @lovely-dove-zee @athena127 @mariaofdoranelle

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowan x aelin #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin fanfic #aelin x rowan #rowanwhitethorn #throne of glass fanfiction #domestic fluff #rowaelinkids

28 notes · View notes

writingforstraykids · 10 months

Text

Addicted to you - Chp. 7

Pairing: Minchan (mention of changlix | ot8)

Word Count: 7348

Summary: Another two months later, things seem to stabilize again, and Minho is happier than ever with Chan despite his injury slowing him down. Everything seems to be perfect until their friends confront Chan about a possible relationship, and Chan's fear of being out in the open gets the better of him. He notices too late that Minho's right there, hearing everything...

Warnings/Tags: fluff, cuddles, smut , dom!chan, sub!minho, angst, verbal fight (also minho slaps chan)

A/N: Uhm...I'm sorry, it gets sad/heavy in the end @mal-lunar-28😅😂 ~ Moon🌙

Chp. 6 | Chp. 8

Just about the time I get it right Everything's in line, I get anxious If it feels too good to be true Then it probably is, I love it but I hate it Self Sabotage ~ Ruelle

Chan hadn't been lying about needing to let off some steam. Minho was slyly teasing him in front of the others, hands wandering over his body when no one was looking. In turn, Minho found himself getting fucked stupid in the most inappropriate settings, and he was secretly starting to love it. Backstage between performances in some desolate room or Chan's studio when Jisung and Changbin were away to get snacks. One night, they found themselves alone in the house and Minho was being a tease to no end. Chan, who had enough of his antics, bent him over the kitchen counter, ravishing Minho and interrupting him making dinner. On another early morning occasion, Chan sucked him off in their shared showers, and Minho could do nothing but contain his moans and hope no one would hear them, or worse, come inside.

Just like that, another two months passed, and Minho started getting excited about their first year together. Chan’s mood was slowly stabilizing and things were improving between the two. They still hadn't defined what they were exactly, but it felt a lot like he had a boyfriend, which was alright with him.

Minho was in his room scrolling through his social media platforms for cute ideas on how to make their "anniversary" special and perfect. He gently rubbed his knee and contorted his face at the stinging pain. About a week ago during practice, he messed up the landing after a jump and hurt his knee. The doctors advised him to take it easy and go on walks to keep up with movement but to refrain from dancing for a couple days. It pissed him off, but he knew he'd make it worse by not listening to them. So Chan had accompanied him on his walks and ensured he wasn't overdoing it. Someone knocked at his door, and only a moment later, his favorite curly-haired boy glanced inside. "Hi there," he smiled brightly, quickly turning off his phone to give his full, undivided attention.

Chan smiled and came over, leaning down for a quick kiss. "You think you can show me those steps again before the children join us?"

"Sure thing, love," he told him and took his hand, walking downstairs with him. "You look really cute today," he said softly. Chan was wearing a light blue sweater and black sweatpants combined with a beanie of his, a few curls sticking out from beneath it.

"Thank you, baby," he smiled shyly and squeezed his hand thankfully.

Minho looked at him fondly, checked their surroundings, and gave him a quick kiss. He looked over him once more and let a passing smirk grace his lips. “Am I right to think you are looking for cuddles?” He squinted his eyes playfully at the man.

“What gave it away?” Chan asked, giggling softly.

“My sweater,” Minho chuckled knowingly and brushed his hand over Chan’s shoulder. “You usually wear my clothes when you do.”

Chan laughed softly, heart melting at how well Minho knew him. It was true; he usually wore something that belonged to Minho when he felt lonely and in need of comfort. This way, he had him wherever he went. “Stop being so sweet to me,” he said softly.

“Stop having such a beautiful smile,” Minho said, winking at him as Chan blushed deeply, hiding his face slightly to cover a small smile. “See, you can’t change that either. Deal with it, Channie love.” He teased the man with a chuckle.

Once they got to the practice room, Minho turned on the music quietly and stepped next to Chan, taking his hand once more. He talked him through the steps again before demonstrating to him. Chan followed his directions and danced along, still holding hands. As soon as they were done, Chan pulled him into a warm embrace, making Minho giggle happily as their noses brushed together. “Can I take you out for dinner tomorrow?”

Minho’s smile widened. “Just you and me?”

“Just us,” he nodded, and his heart warmed seeing how excited Minho looked at the confirmation.

“Is this a date, Channie love?” he asked softly.

“You could call it that,” he nodded with a sweet smile. “I have something to give you,” he said, thinking of the small silver ring safely stored away in his room. He was ready to take things a step further and finally put a label on their relationship.

“Oh, really?” he asked curiously and searched his eyes. God, his lips were begging Minho to kiss him right then and here.

"Look at our hyungs flirting again!" Jeongin shouted out, and Minho flinched away from Chan, surprised. From the corner of his eye, he sees the others begin to pile into the room.

"You're just jealous," Chan grinned at him, still holding his hand.

Minho looked down at their hands and bit back a smile. "Alright let's get ready, everyone."

"You better take it easy," Chan warned him.

"I know," he sighed softly and mostly supervised his friends for the rest of the afternoon. Boring.

Minho later found himself sitting at his desk in his room, listening to a few new songs and humming along softly. He wrote down a few ideas for the dances and scribbled down some formations and group placements.

"Minho hyung?" He heard a voice softly call out his name.

"Yes?" he asked, looking up at Jisung, who was glancing inside his room from the doorway.

"Can I have the keys to the practice room? Hyunjin locked us out again," he chuckled.

Minho opened the drawer on his left and took out the keys. "Unlock the door and bring them right back before the same thing happens again," he said, tossing him the keys. Jisung nodded and left, leaving the door cracked open. Minho went back to focusing on the songs.

"Min?" Felix called out to him not even five minutes later.

"Yes, Lixie?" he asked, putting down his pen and looking up at the man.

"I just wanted to ask if you're still up for working on new stuff tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure thing," he nodded and flashed him a smile as he gave him a thumbs up.

"Nice," he beamed.

“I mean, we could just work on it later today if you’d like,” Minho suggested. But his expression dropped a little as Felix contorted his face from his words. “Or not?”

“Changbinnie’s coming back from his trip today. I wanted to try and spend some time with him before the others come for him,” he apologized gently.

“Ohh, right,” Minho chuckled and waved him off. “That’s fine. Make sure you get some cuddles for me too,” he winked at him, and Felix giggled before leaving again, still leaving the door cracked open. "I should've closed the door," he groaned to himself and glanced over, deciding he was too lazy to do so and leaving it open. Hopefully, he can continue working in pea-

"Hyung?" Jeongin's voice interrupted his thoughts once more. Or maybe not…

Minho closed his eyes in defeat, forcing a bright smile on his lips for their maknae before looking up at him. "Yes, dear?"

"I feel like I didn't get all the steps today and I'm nervous I'll mess them up," he confessed, genuine worry in his tone as he spoke.

"Innie, I promise you'll be fine. I think you did a great job today and it's only going to get better," he told him patiently. "We can go through them again together tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," he beamed at him, relieved. He gave Minho a smile and left, with the door still open.

He continued working, and three minutes later, someone knocked gently. "Oh, for fucks sake, can't I work in peace for like ten minutes?" he groaned. Once he looked up, he met Chan's amused chocolate eyes. "Ah, it's you."

"Wow, not the exact greeting I was hoping for," he giggled and strolled over to his lover. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to work," he told him. "Obviously," he pointed at his desk.

"Want to take a break?" Chan asked.

"Not really, no," Minho shook his head. "My brain's producing good stuff right now."

"Mhm," he hummed and glanced around his room. "Can I stay?"

"Sure, just be quiet," he nodded and vaguely waved towards his bed. Chan hummed, agreeing, but sat down at the edge of his desk instead. That alone meant trouble, and Minho wanted to stay focused. "Channie," he tried patiently.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"I'm working," he said, glancing up at him.

"I know, you just told me so," Chan nodded in agreement and blinked at him innocently. "Am I distracting you?"

"Only a little," he said and squinted his eyes at him. Chan’s gaze didn’t waver one bit, instead locking in on Minho’s harder. And he knew exactly what that meant. "You're horny right now, aren’t you?," he asked suddenly, but he could tell the shift in his lover’s eyes once he looked in them.

"What? No…Well, maybe a little," he shrugged sheepishly. "You know it's not fair that you're so effortlessly handsome," he complained.

"It's not fair you're ready to have sex all the time either. Deal with it," he spoke as a warning. "Go look behind my sweaters. There's some stuff you could use to pass the time."

Chan rolled his eyes and leaned forward, bracing himself on the armrests of his chair. "Baby."

"Love?" he asked, slightly irritated.

"I won't settle for anything other than you, you hear me?" he asked, and Minho's ears quickly burned blush pink.

"But I'm working on our songs, love," he whined softly, a bit frustrated. But he couldn’t stop himself from shifting in his seat as Chan’s words went straight to his core, making him feel fuzzy and hot.

"Min-."

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jisung asked, suddenly standing in the doorway again and interrupting the two.

"He's trying to bully me into cuddling with him when I'm supposed to be working," Minho smoothly answered and shoved Chan back to create a little distance. "What the fuck are you doing? Again?" he said back.

"Keys," he said, holding them up proudly.

"Oh, right," he nodded and took them. He placed them back in the drawer. "Close the door on the way out."

"Why, need some privacy for cuddles?" he asked teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows at the two.

"Get out right now," Minho jokingly threatened him. Jisung left giggling and closed the door.

Minho turned his attention back to the man sitting on his desk. "Chan, what's up with you?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie, you suck at it," he giggled.

Chan sighed softly and hid his face in his hands. “Don’t make me say it, it's so embarrassing."

"What is?" he asked, frowning softly. Was there a need to be concerned?

Chan whined and spoke in a single breath. "Ireallylikewhenyougointofullleadermodeduringdancepractice," he mumbled out.

"You what?" Minho asked, blinking softly.

"I really like when you go into full leader mode during dance practice," he confessed and chewed on his lower lip. “Its really hot seeing you take charge,”

"Oh, you do?" he asked with a hint of fake curiosity, remembering Felix had mentioned this before. Chan nodded and covered his cheeks, blushing in slight embarrassment. "How much, Mr. I'm always in control?" he asked, intrigued to know the answer. He kept his eyes locked onto his to see his next move

“Way too much,” he confessed shyly and dropped to his knees in front of his chair. Minho raised his eyebrows at him as Chan rested his chin on his knees, gazing up at him with soft, pleading eyes.

“Stop looking at me like that, love. You’re gonna make me hard,” he told him with a chuckle, brushing Chan’s curls back. Gosh, this man looked good with his natural curly hair and bare face. He loved the sight of Chan on his knees, practically begging for attention. The fact that he was wearing his sweater didn’t help either.

“Why don’t you continue working, and I’ll take care of it?” Chan proposed, a grin stretching his lips once Minho gave in, knowing he’d lose out on any chance of working later if he wouldn’t let him have his way now.

Minho really tried to focus on his work, he did. But with Chan beneath the table, pulling down his sweatpants enough to pull his dick out, it was a little challenging. Chan didn’t waste any time, licking up his shaft and twirling his tongue around the tip. His eyes fluttered close as Chan started taking him into his mouth, giving himself time to adjust to him and take him in deeper. Minho’s lips parted with a gasp as Chan took him in deeper, tongue massaging his dick perfectly. “Feels so good, Channie,” he let him know, panting as he felt the warm, wetness of his mouth close around him. Once Chan had gotten comfortable enough, he started bobbing his head in a steady rhythm, and Minho’s hand shot down to bury itself in his hair. “Fuck,” he sighed and dropped his pen on the desk, giving up on his work. This was so much better. He adjusted in his seat a bit more comfortably.

Chan suddenly pulled back and looked up at him with dilated pupils. He massaged his thighs, smiling up at him lovingly. “Fuck, you sound beautiful,” he told him, and Minho blushed. “You think you can keep quiet while I touch you some more, kitten?” he asked, and Minho nodded quickly, immediately melting at the pet name. Chan’s thumb brushed Minho’s lips before pushing two fingers into his mouth. Minho moaned softly and sucked at them eagerly, covering them in his spit as Chan kept on rubbing his thigh teasingly. Chan proceeded to pull Minho’s sweatpants down further and, grabbing his thighs, pulled him forward in his chair.

Minho cursed softly as Chan took him back into his mouth and started pushing one finger into him at the same time. He gripped his curls tightly and shivered at the groan that left Chan’s throat at his action. Minho melted into his chair and relaxed fully into the feeling of Chan opening him up. Not too much time passed before Chan was buried four fingers deep into his lover. He had his legs resting on his shoulders, one hand gripping the armrest and the other one guiding Chan’s head up and down his length. Minho’s head fell back with a whiny moan as he hit the back of his throat, and he couldn’t help but moan Chan’s name loudly.

Chan gently squeezed his thigh, signaling him to be quiet, and moaned around his dick deliciously. He was enjoying the pull on his hair and the strangled sounds he pulled from him. Chan tried to pull back, but Minho held him in place and shook his head. “Don’t stop, Channie,” he told him breathlessly. “Please don’t stop.”

Chan still pulled back and got up, lifting Minho up from the chair. He sat down in the chair with him on his lap and kissed him hungrily. “I tried my best,” he told him, and Minho giggled sweetly. “But you’re driving me crazy.”

“As usual,” Minho chuckled and kissed him hard as he reached down between them, pulling Chan’s dick from his pants. “Lube,” he told him, and Chan reached into his drawer to take the small bottle out.

“You keep that right next to the keys to the dance room?” he laughed.

“I have no secrets,” he shrugged with a chuckle, and took the bottle from him, flicking the cap open. Minho shifted a little, adjusting his weight on his lower body, but contorted his face at the sharp pain shooting through his knee. Chan noticed from the corner of his eye and lifted him up again, standing up with him in his arms. He pushed Minho’s notes aside and sat him down at the edge of the table. Minho looked at him and lovingly caressed his cheek as he captured his lips in a kiss. He had never felt as safe and cared for as when he’s with Chan. It was perfect. Minho grabbed a condom from the drawer and rolled it over Chan’s dick.

“Just try to relax, okay?” he mumbled into the kiss after spreading some lube over his dick. Minho hummed softly and took a couple deep breaths. Chan started pushing into him slowly.

Once he was fully buried inside him, Minho wrapped his legs loosely around Chan’s waist. Chan grabbed his thigh, making sure to steady his injured leg, and braced himself on the table behind Minho. Minho wrapped one arm around his neck, burying his hand in his curls, and braced himself right next to him, fingertips touching. Minho moaned sweetly as soon as he started moving and kissed him passionately, trying to stifle his moans.

It didn’t help much since Chan also started moaning at the feeling of being inside him. They moved in sync, moaning into each other’s mouths, chasing the other’s lips. Minho arched into him and moved his hand up to grip his sweater right between his shoulders. Minho pulled up the fabric between his fingers, his head falling back as Chan kissed down his neck. He pulled at his curls, making him moan against his skin, and smiled blissfully at the feeling.

“Fuck, kitten,” Chan whispered against his skin and thrust into him deep.

Minho stopped caring about his volume; he was already too far gone. He held Chan close as their bodies melted together in pure bliss. The two men pressed their foreheads together. Their breaths mingled as their noses brushed against each other, hair sticking to their flesh. “Channie,” he whispered sweetly in his ear.

“Min, baby,” Chan whispered back softly. He still couldn’t believe he gets to see Minho so vulnerable and open for him. He was a different kind of pretty in moments like these. It was addicting. The two were so focused on each other that they didn’t hear the small tapping on the door, followed by it opening slowly.

“Minho, do you have a moment?” Felix asked while walking in, but his eyes widened at the sight in front of him.

“Bad moment, Lixie,” Minho breathed out, not even giving a fuck about him catching them in the act. Chan felt too damn good inside of him right now, and Felix had seen him naked before. His head fell back with a loud moan as Chan’s dick finally tapped his prostate with a particular thrust, and he gripped the sweater tightly.

“Oh fuck, sorry! “ he rambled and quickly covered his ears, closing his eyes and stumbling back outside. Felix blushed heavily as he closed the door and covered his face in his hands.

“I should really learn how to knock,” he groaned at himself and stood still in the hallway for a moment, trying to push away the vivid images. He didn’t fully succeed, almost feeling a little jealous at how in sync and in love those two had just seemed in that moment. The way they solely focused on each other’s pleasure. Just like earlier at the practice room before the rest had joined them…and even during practice. These two just fit together perfectly. Sometimes, he longed for Binnie to look at him like that and hold him close like that without him initiating it. He shook his head at himself, pushing those thoughts away. He was happy, after all. He sighed once more and went to his room.

“Will you ever learn to -ohh fuck- lock the door?” Minho breathed out between moans.

“Has he ever heard of knocking?” Chan asked breathlessly.

“He never does,” Minho giggled, and his eyes fluttered close with a soft whimper. “Channie, I’m so close.”

Chan was about to answer before his hips suddenly stilled, and he came with a groan of his name. He bit down on Minho’s shoulder to stifle his sounds, and Minho came on the spot, spilling all over his sweater. They spent a little bit in each other’s arms, catching their breath. Once ready, Chan pulled out of him gently, took the condom off, and threw it into the bin beneath the desk. He tucked himself back into his pants before taking the sweater off and using it to clean Minho up. “Sorry,” he laughed and kissed him gently.

Minho giggled against his lips and let Chan help him out of his own sweater. Chan got some fresh clothes from his drawers and helped him get dressed. Minho’s hands gently roamed Chan’s bare chest as he kissed him afterwards. He pulled Chan with him to his closet and looked through his things. While they find time to meet for sex, Minho always takes Chan’s dirty clothes and washes them, keeping them safe in his room for times such as these. His fingertips brushed over the small box hidden behind his shirts, and he smiled, thinking of the bracelet he had bought for Chan as a surprise resting there for now. “There you go,” he smiled and handed him a shirt.

“This is mine?” he giggled, raising his eyebrow at his lover.

“I know,” he grinned.

“You’ve been stealing my clothes?” he asked, amused, and pulled the shirt over his head.

“Maybe,” he said innocently and closed the closet again. “They smell like you, you know. It’s comforting.”

Chan’s face softened, and he took his hands. “You’re so adorable, kitten.” Minho hummed, satisfied, and Chan kissed his nose. “Kissing you all those months ago has been the best decision I’ve made in a while.”

Minho blushed a little and pulled him close. “Allowing you to do so has definitely been one of my brightest moments,” he nodded giggling. “I don’t regret it at all”.

Chan smiled sweetly, but then suddenly started laughing. The memory of Felix walking into the room still very fresh. "How could you be so unbothered by Felix walking in on us?"

"You're pretty amazing at what you do. I wasn't really thinking about it," he shrugged his shoulders, making Chan laugh even more. "But still, Felix has seen all of me. It isn’t really a shock anymore."

"Mhm, fair point. It's not like he hasn't caught me before as well. It's always Felix, isn't it?" he groaned softly.

"Felix knows and has seen too much," he nodded. "I’d better go look for him and ask what he wants."

"Leaving me already?" he pouted, not wanting to let Minho go just yet.

"Come on, you big baby," he giggled, pulling him with him. Minho went down the hallway, knocking on Felix's door. "Sorry, Lix, toddler alert," he joked as they stepped into his space. But his face fell seeing him sitting against his headboard, hugging a pillow as tears ran down his cheeks. "Yongbokie, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, climbing onto his bed. "We didn't traumatize you, did we?" he joked.

Felix laughed through tears and rolled his eyes. "Of course not," he groaned. "Sorry for interrupting. I should've knocked."

"Forget about that," Chan said, sitting down on Felix's other side. "What's wrong, mate?"

"Nothing, I'm just being stupid," he told them, sniffing softly.

"That happens sometimes," Minho winked at him and gently squeezed Felix's hand. "But this isn’t one of those times. Come on, sunshine, what's going on?"

"I just really missed Changbinnie these past two weeks," he told them and sniffled softly. Changbin had been back at home before being abroad for a few promotional things and advertisements. "I really hoped we could cuddle or spend time together when he comes back, but he told me he just wants to unpack and take a nap afterward. And I…I don't know. I'm feeling lonely and touch starved, but Jisung and Hyunjin are busy practicing, and Seungmin and Jeongin are already off cuddling each other somewhere."

Chan hummed gently and wrapped his arm around him, rubbing his shoulder. "And that upset you?"

Felix nodded, and Minho searched his eyes. "I'm sure Changbin didn't mean to upset you. We all know how tired and grumpy he gets after a flight," he calmed him.

"I know. As I said, I'm being stupid," he sighed and messily wiped his cheeks with his sleeve.

Minho handed him a tissue and shook his head. "You're not being stupid, Lixie."

Chan gently ruffled through his hair. "You know you can come to us for a cuddle whenever you need it."

"He probably wanted to," Minho pointed out, and they all started laughing. "Are you still feeling lonely and touch-starved?"

Felix nodded timidly at him. Minho felt the tug at his heartstrings, looking at his big, teary eyes.

"You know what? I'll share Channie with you today," he offered, making his hyung snort. "Cuddles only, of course."

"Min," Felix protested weakly and hit his arm, giggling.

Chan rolled his eyes softly before moving between them, lying down, and letting Minho cuddle to his side comfortably. "Come on, Felix."

Minho gently patted Chan's chest, and Felix took the hint, making himself comfortable on top of Chan. Minho lazily wrapped his arm around him as Chan covered them all with Felix's blanket. Chan soothingly rubbed Felix's back before moving his hand up to play with his hair. His other arm was draped around Minho's waist, hands intertwined on his hip. Minho lovingly fondled Felix's cheek for a moment. "Is this better, sunshine?"

"Yeah," Felix nodded, smiling softly.

Chan relaxed as they soon fell asleep in his arms, and he smiled. He didn't take long to drift off as well, and his head sank against Minho's, searching for him even in his sleep.

Felix woke up later, somehow cuddled between them as Chan had turned onto his side in his sleep. Minho and Chan were hugging him from both sides, their legs all intertwined. Minho had his face buried in his shirt between his shoulders whilst Chan's face was buried in his hair. Felix hadn't felt that warm and comfortable in a long while and closed his eyes again, deciding to enjoy the much-needed feeling a little longer.

Minho woke up a little later, carefully letting go of him and stretching his body tiredly. Felix turned to face him and flashed him a tired smile. Minho reached for Felix's phone to check the time and saw a few messages from Changbin. "I think your boyfriend's waiting for you," he told him quietly, and Felix's eyes lit up. "I'll wake him up. You go get your cuddles." Minho whispers as he goes to wake up Chan.

"Let him sleep," he waved him off. "He needs it." Felix slowly got out of bed and made his way towards the door, opening it carefully to slip out of the room.

Minho smirked and watched him leave before slipping into Chan's arms. He buried his face in his chest, inhaling his scent, and relaxed. "I love you, Channie," he whispered into his shirt and smiled as Chan scooted closer to him in his sleep. Gosh, this man was cuddly. Minho beamed softly. He would've never thought that someone would love and appreciate him as Chan did.

Chan woke up later with a yawn and chuckled softly as he looked down, seeing Minho curled up in his arms. He leaned down, brushing back his hair and kissing his head. Minho cuddled even closer in response, signaling he was somewhat awake. "Feeling comfy, kitten?"

"Very," he answered sleepily. "You slept alright?" Chan hummed in response. "Felix went to see Changbin. We thought we'd let you get some sleep."

"My insomnia says thank you," he snorted, and Minho giggled sweetly.

The door opened, and Felix stepped inside, looking a lot happier than before. "Glad to see you two finally awake. Are you coming down to help with dinner?"

"Sure thing," Chan nodded and got up with him, stretching out his limbs.

Minho gave him a soft kiss and hugged him close for another moment. "Cuddle session this evening?"

"Sounds perfect," Chan nodded happily and kissed his forehead.

Jeongin looked at Chan curiously as they were preparing dinner a bit later. "What exactly have you two been doing behind closed doors recently? It’s like you’re always disappearing."

"Wh-What? Who?" Chan asked in shock, his eyes widening.

"You and Minho hyung," he answered with an eyebrow raise.

Hyunjin giggled. "Maybe they're secretly in love," he smirked. Minho had to bite back a grin at that assumption.

Minho quickly lowered his head and continued drying the dishes. A huge kitchen like that had its perks. And sometimes, his group members completely forgot he was there too, standing in front of the stove far away from him. This way, no one realized they could be bothering him with questions too.

"Secret lovers?" Felix laughed, and the thought made his eyes shine bright. If they only knew how close they were to the truth. He met Minho's eyes across the room for a moment and held back a laugh. Jisung desperately tried not to laugh as well and disappeared into a cabinet with his head, pretending to search for a pan and holding in his giggles.

"Can you imagine our hyungs hooking up? Would that officially make them our parents?" Seungmin threw in, and Changbin shouted in protest.

"Married with six kids," Jeongin added and glanced over at their dinner in preparation.

"How do you all even come up with this stuff?" Chan asked playfully, laughing and rolling his eyes.

But Minho couldn’t help but frown softly. It wasn't like they had been hiding it that well. Of course, their group members would notice them spending way more time together than before, and oftentimes in their rooms. Minho let Chan hug him more openly than before, and just last night, they cuddled during the movie night. Also, he doubted he and Chan had been that quiet all those times they took a little risk and had sex. Like today. Things have been going on for almost a year, after all.

"You two just seem to have gotten closer recently," Jisung explained.

"Well, you know he's been trying to cheer me up lately," he answered.

One way to put it, Minho thought to himself and gathered some plates. He needed more space to continue cleaning.

"Yeah, but-."

"Nothing happened. Have you seen Minho? I call myself lucky when I get a hug from him, or when he doesn't pull his hand away from mine," Chan said, and Minho froze in place. His ears couldn’t help but to tune into the conversation. "He's not exactly the warm boyfriend material I'd need. And no, we didn't kiss either," he tried to play it cool, forgetting for a moment that Minho was right there hearing everything.

His heart shattered at his comment, and he began to grow pale. Was he being serious? Felix and Jisung looked over at him with concern and exchanged a short look. Minho put down the plates a little too loud, making everyone flinch and turn toward him. "Is that what you think about me when you think I'm not listening? That I'm cold? Unloving? Unaffectionate?"

Chan's face fell, as all the color drained from his skin while simultaneously allowing a deep red to settle on his neck and cheeks. "Minho," he breathed out in shock and got a raised eyebrow in return. Fuck.

The others looked back and forth between them anxiously, unsure of what was happening. "I can tell you what happened," Minho said, and Chan opened his mouth in protest, but the look in Minho's eyes made him stop. "We kissed quite a lot actually. At least when he wasn't busy shoving his dick in my ass."

"Minho!" Chan burst out as the rest looked at him in amusement and pure disbelief. "We had an agreement," he whispered.

"Listen up Chan, it's one thing to pretend that nothing is going on between the two of us and staying away from you in public. That's what I agreed to," he said, his eyes never tearing away from Chan’s. "But I won't lie to the people I call my family anymore. Especially not after what you just said."

"I-I freaked out, okay, I didn't mean it," he tried to save himself, stomach turning painfully. Changbin stared at them in shock, slowly connecting the dots before looking at Felix, who just shook his head firmly. Not now.

"It sure sounded like you did," Minho said sadly, and a wave of fear washed over him. Had Chan felt like this about him all this time? Had it just been the sex and the thrill of affection that kept him around? Whatever it was, he didn’t want to hear it right now. "I'm done with this.”

“Baby,” Chan spoke up and calmingly held up his hands. “Come on, let’s talk this out.”

“Save it, Chan. I won't let you toy around with me like that," he said firmly and opened the cabinet above his head, putting the plates inside.

"Toy around? Is that what you think I was doing?" he asked, growing defensive. "Maybe it was you who used me. You practically threw yourself onto me when I gave you the chance. And you've been hovering since that damn night a few months ago," Chan said, trying to get himself out of the line of fire.

Minho's face fell, and Jisung was in shock at how hurt he looked. "Threw myself - Are you fucking kidding me?" he shouted suddenly, and everyone flinched, slowly backing away from Chan to continue watching from the sidelines.

“Oh shit,” Seungmin breathed out, and Jeongin exchanged a worried glance with him. Minho sure lost his temper a lot lately with Chan, but not like this. Especially not in front of them.

"I risked my life to get to you that night because of your stupid message. I held you when you felt like you were falling apart. And I was the one showing you how much you're worth since you can't see that for yourself. You kissed me first, dumbass! I didn't plan on kissing you two nights after, only to have sex the next morning. And I sure as hell didn't plan on doing it again and again over the next eleven months, sneaking around behind everyone's back!" Minho aggressively slammed the cabinet closed, making Chan flinch a little.

"You didn't risk your life," Chan gave back weakly, completely overwhelmed by Minho’s sudden outburst. He fucked up big time, and he was stuck on how to fix it.

Minho glared at him. "You, out of everyone here, should know how much I have a fear of heights. And still, I climbed over to your balcony."

"I didn't ask you to!" Chan burst out, feeling like he was being pushed into a corner.

"I didn't ask you to leave us all behind either, but that's what you wanted to do! You didn't just give up on yourself, you gave up on those you swore to protect. And you gave up on me! You gave up on us, Chan, and still, I stayed by your fucking side because I was too scared to lose you," he gave back just as loudly. But seeing Chan's face, he knew he said too much. Oh, shit.

"Wait a minute, Chan did what?" Changbin spoke up, confused. Minho stared at Chan, who slowly shook his head.

"Min, baby, please-," he begged quietly.

"Stop calling me that," Minho said firmly.

"Minho, don't," Chan pressed out, anxiously glancing at the others. They can’t know he had been feeling like shit lately. They can’t know he had been ready to give up and quit that night.

"Hey! What the fuck happened?" Changbin cut them off, deciding to step in and get some answers.

"He accidentally sent his goodbye message to me. That's why I climbed out there; my fear of losing him was bigger than that stupid balcony. Turns out he was thinking about quitting on us and leaving the team behind, saying I’d do just fine as your new leader," Minho said, and his voice trembled, seeing betrayal flash in Chan's eyes. "I'm sorry, Chan, but they should know. I’ve been telling you for weeks now to be honest-."

"Fuck you," Chan said barely above a whisper. "You promised me you wouldn’t tell them," he said, clearly hurt. Now it was all out in the open. Him almost giving up. His feelings for Minho and everything that had followed those past few months. Minho let it all out, taking away his chance to tell the truth at his own pace.

"Well, you promised you'd fight for us. So I guess we both lied," he said tiredly, hoping the conversation would finally end and he could disappear. He just wanted to hide in his room and avoid everyone. But the way Chan's eyes suddenly darkened, he knew it wasn’t over. If there was one thing he had learned about his hyung, it was that you shouldn't piss him off. Being pushed into a corner could make him snap within seconds.

"You know what, maybe I did mean it. Maybe I meant every word I said. You are cold, Minho. You obviously don’t give a shit about my feelings and the promise you made to me. I should've known from the beginning you'd fuck me over and tell everyone about what happened because you can’t keep a secret. Stop acting like you didn't want me to fuck you so you could finally not be so fucking alone anymore and feel like you're worth something. You enjoy having someone tell you you’re not what everyone else says you are, huh? Makes you feel like a better person for once, you sassy asshole?" Chan spat out, panting heavily once the last word fell from his lips. But the moment he said it, he regretted it. He covered his mouth with his hand, unable to follow his thought process of producing such hateful words. What the fuck had he done?

“Excuse me?” he whispered and took a step back, bringing some distance between them. Minho's eyes filled with tears, lips trembling as he tried to regain his composure. Minho could feel his heart breaking, feeling sick and disoriented.

Chan had never seen him that hurt before and losing his composure in front of the rest. Minho never did, not wanting the younger ones to worry about him.

"Chan, what the fuck?" Felix spoke up in pure shock and gently took Jisung's hand, which was trembling, as he stepped behind him. Jeongin and Seungmin practically hid behind Changbin and Hyunjin, who stared at their hyungs, unable to comprehend what just happened.

“Chan, dude,” Changbin contorted his face and took a step toward Minho. “Minho hyung, he clearly didn’t mean it. There's no way any of us would think that about yo-.” he stopped as Minho held his hand up.

"So you're finally being honest with me," he chuckled and closed his eyes for a moment, putting down the towel he had been drying the dishes with. "Oh, Channie love, I'll show you just how much of an asshole I can be," he said, words dripping with disgust. Minho suddenly took a step forward and slapped Chan forcefully, making his head turn to the side.

Chan placed his hand on his cheek in pure shock as the others gasped, surprised. "What the fuck?" Chan breathed out.

"You're the only asshole here. I hope you had fun pretending you liked me or seen anything beyond a way to let off steam," he said shakily as tears ran down his cheeks. There was no use in hiding how hurt he was. Chan had torn his walls down and sent an arrow straight into his heart.

"Did you just hit me?" he asked in pure disbelief.

"Yes, I fucking did!" Minho yelled at him. "You just broke my fucking heart! You'll get over it."

Chan blinked and slowly pulled his hand off his cheek. The full weight of Minho's words slowly sunk in and he grew incredibly pale, his hands starting to shake. "Minho," he whispered timidly. "I'm so sorry."

"Fuck you, Chan, seriously," he sobbed out and smacked his chest forcefully. Chan let him, not defending himself, as Minho lost his composure and broke down. It broke him seeing Minho like this, and the fact that he caused it feels even worse.

"Minho stop," Hyunjin said, stepping forward and pulling Chan away from him. "Come on, you're better than this."

"Come here," Felix spoke up softly as he carefully wrapped his arms around him from behind and pulled him away from Chan, looking at his friend in shock.

Minho covered his mouth with his hand and let Felix pull him back. He didn't know if he was more hurt or angry right now. He felt betrayed on so many levels, becoming too hard to differentiate these emotions. "I believed you," he pressed out.

"You shouldn't have," Chan whispered, tears burning in his eyes.

He hiccuped as tears kept flowing. “You told me not to believe in all the things they said about me and bullshit rumors that were going to spread about us.”

"I'm sorry, Min," Chan pressed out weakly. "I'm an asshole, and you deserve better."

"Stop it, just fucking stop it! Please…" Minho shook his head and felt his heart breaking apart. He should’ve never believed in a happy ending for them. He shouldn't have believed him saying he'd fight for them. He shouldn't have believed him when he said haters were lying and Minho wasn't anything like what they said.

"Minho hyung, let's take a break and-," Seungmin started but stopped as Minho gently shook Felix off, grabbed his phone from the table, and turned around. He didn't look at his friends as he passed them. Hyunjin tried to hold him back, but he just shook him off, holding back a sob.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Felix snapped at Chan. "How could you say something like that?"

"Felix, easy now," Changbin tried to calm his boyfriend. It wasn't like Minho walked away innocently from this.

"No, why would you defend that? We all saw it happen!" Felix asked him, highly irritated.

"Felix," Minho cut him off sharply. "That's my mess, not yours. Leave it be."

"Minho, can we talk? Alone?" Chan asked with tears in his eyes. His breathing was uneven and shaky, trying to hold back a sob. There was an imprint of Minho's hand on his cheek, his lips quivered and for a second Minho hesitated, seeing the damage he caused him.

He couldn't leave him there crying, could he? Not when he was the only one taking care of him whenever he did. But then again…he couldn't comfort him. Not now, not after all he’s done. "Fuck you, I won't be listening to any more of your lies," Minho said firmly before walking upstairs.

Chan didn't dare to raise his head until Minho's door slammed closed. He could barely meet his group members' eyes as he swallowed hard. "I'm sorry," he whispered and blinked back tears. "I'm so sorry, fuck," he buried his face in his hands as a sob shook his entire body. The moment Jeongin wrapped his arms around him, heavily shaking himself, Chan's stomach turned. He didn't deserve any comfort right now. Not after what he did to Minho, his love. A few moments later, they all were by his side, too shocked about what Minho had revealed to think of anything else.

"You're so fucking stupid sometimes, Chan," Changbin said and shook his head at him. “What the fuck was that about?”

"I promise I can explain everything," Chan said shakily and swallowed hard.

Felix cleared his throat and met Chan's eyes. "I love you, Channie, I really do…but what you just said to him was fucked up on so many levels. You need to fix this. And fast. I can't leave him alone like that," Chan nodded in agreement and let the others pull him to the sofa to sit down.

"I'll join you," Jisung said, very disturbed about Chan's outburst.

Chp. 6 | Chp. 8

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/ removed from the taglist)

@soullostinspaceandtime @brownieloved @rebecca-johnson-28 @euphoric-univers @hyunniebunni @mal-lunar-28 @malfoygalaxies

40 notes · View notes

badgallly · 1 year

Text

The Chosen One Part 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

hey guys! how are you ? finally chapter 5 of 'the chosen one'. the next chapter of the 'party' is going to be on fire, and I'm warning you that it's going to be long. you asked me a lot and here it is! i love all the cute and motivational messages you guys send me, it really warms my heart <3 today is my birthday so i decided to post it today, it's my birthday but it's your gift! <3 make requests :3 take care ;3 I love you <3!

On the cold floor, I'm still on the floor, tears insist on coming down from my eyes more and more. I feel a very big void inside my chest, Kylian's words echo in my mind :

"You're already thinking too much for someone who is just a whore!"

His gruff, cold voice repeats like an endless loop in my head. Is this what I'm doomed to be for the rest of my life? A mere prostitute? a worthless prostitute who is sold as a commodity where everyone uses, abuses and humiliates? Is kylian right?

Kylian…ah Kylian. I've been through all kinds of aggression and humiliation throughout my life, in fact I should be used to it by now, but I don't understand why Kylian's attitude affected me so much. I don't know why, but I thought Kylian would be different… her education, the way she talks to me, even though she 'bought' me, she didn't put a single finger on my body, even though we only met 2 days ago… let's just say no one ever treated me with the 'minimum' of dignity that he did. Anyway… I was totally wrong, that just shows how stupid I am.

I get up from the floor and lay on the bed, wipe my tears and take a deep breath trying to calm myself. I start to think and see some flashbacks of my life, am I destined to never be happy in my life? in the midst of my thoughts I soon fall asleep.

10:00 PM

I wake up and lift my head which is a little heavy, wow… I slept a long time. soon I regain my consciousness and I recognize the room I'm in, I hear the noise of the TV downstairs, probably Kylian. I decide to take a shower, nothing better than a shower to take away all the stress and calm the body.

Right after taking my shower, I decide to go down, I'm hungry, I didn't even have lunch today. As I go down the stairs I see Kylian playing with his cell phone and with the TV on, he notices my presence, looks at me and then turns his attention to his cell phone. I feel a pang in my heart, despite everything I had a little hope that maybe he could at least apologize. Look there again me being an idiot? I have to stop this! I go to the kitchen and make myself a snack. While I'm preparing I feel footsteps approaching and a hand touches my shoulder, and goes down to my waist which causes shivers in my body. Kylian says softly in my ear:

_y/n, we need to talk! Kylian says in a soft tone in my ear again shivering throughout my body. I turn, and look into his eyes and see a twinge of regret in his eyes.

_okay, kylian. You can say.

_Sorry for earlier, I know I was an idiot. I had arrived from training and I was stressed, and right after I had a psg game, I'm sorry I ended up taking my anger out on you!

_everything you said hurt me a lot kylian, I don't know what you think of me, actually I know… as you yourself said that I'm 'just a prostitute', know that I have feelings too and I'm in this life it's not because I I want kylian and yes because I've always had a very difficult life and I need that to survive so I don't know if I can apologize to you right now I still feel very insulted and hurt.

_No y/n I don't think you're just a 'whore', I can see that you've had a very painful and difficult life, you're a strong woman, but… you're right y/n, it's okay… I went an asshole and you need space. I will respect your time. I nod looking into your eyes I see regret in your eyes that land again in mine; he was turning to leave the kitchen but soon returns:

_y/n, I forgot… I want you to pack your bags, remember that our trip is tomorrow to New York. Take lots of clothes and accessories, we'll be there for 3 days, in addition to my meeting, there will also be an end of season party for the players. We're leaving very early on my private plane. _Okay Kylian, I'll go. _ah and when you finish, come to the room let's watch a movie together.

time skip

I finish packing my bags and head downstairs.

I see Kylian messing with the remote control, as soon as he notices my presence he smiles.

_ come y/n, sit here, I'm looking for a movie. He pats the couch for me to sit next to him.

I walk but a little afraid to sit next to kylian, he's still a ticking time bomb. I approach and stay a relative distance from him. Kylian goes through some movies and chooses an action one. The silence is deafening for a few minutes until Kylian breaks the silence:

_Y/N? Kylian says suddenly.

_Yes? I say looking at him.

_My intention was never to scare her. I know I was stupid earlier and I already apologized, despite knowing you for 2 days I think you are a strong woman and warrior. I know I'm being repetitive but it was because I regretted it earlier. But I want you to accept my apology, please. I don't want to fight with you tomorrow for the trip y/n, you are a very delicate flower and I hurt you, I'm sorry?

He looks at me with those regretful puppy dog eyes, and despite everything I see truth in his words. He's so handsome and cute now it's impossible not to accept these excuses.

_Thank you kylian, it's okay, I accept his apologies! _ He gives me a smile of happiness and I smile together. Why is kylian so unstable and attractive at the same time? Within 2 days I realize he's a total mess and I'm slowly losing myself in him.

In the midst of my thoughts, I fall asleep. but... I feel Kylian covering me with the blanket and I end up passing out.

#kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian x reader #mbappé #mbappe x reader #kylian imagines #kyky #mbappe #mbappe psg #kylian #kylian x you #kylian fanfic #kylian x oc

37 notes · View notes

zuuriell · 1 year

Text

i felt like doing something so imma do this for the month! i’ll put all my answers below the cut because it’ll probably get quite long lol

1. Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (aka POTS)

2. well, it’s pretty complicated 😭 i’ve had some symptoms for probably like a year, but around late april/early may this year i couldn’t even shower or stand up too long from how bad it got. the uk healthcare system is absolute shit though, so even tho i’ve been a&e multiple times and tried to explain how much it’s all been affecting me, i still don’t get to see a cardiologist until february 2024 :( but we’ve ruled out other options of what it could be, and my mum’s cardiologist friend agreed when i said i thought i had POTS, and my GP agrees, and my potsie friends agree so i’m kinda like unofficially diagnosed as of now?

3. relating to the last point, i am not officially diagnosed yet because of the slow asf NHS so yeah :,) but i mean to figure out what i was experiencing was POTS, it did take me like 8 months? but probably around 10 for me to accept the fact that i most likely have it too 😭 an official diagnosis unless i can rack up the money to go private is probably gonna take me like another year at this rate, but hopefully it won’t be that long

4. i have to pick just one? LOL uhh probably the blood pooling! it’s so annoying because especially when im out and about, i can’t be with my legs in the air 24/7 so it’s always bound to happen. compression socks help but only to an extent, and it stops me from doing so muchhhh :( it means that queueing for things and standing for more than a couple minutes is so so much harder, and if i have too much blood pooling in one day then my can legs ache for DAYS after that. it’s so painful and annoying and just aaghhh i hate it

5. on a regular day: i wake up, chug water which i leave by my bed for the mornings, get out of bed slowly and walk downstairs to make breakfast. i chug electrolytes and go for a short dog walk, then come home to do schoolwork and my family make lunch/dinner so i don’t have to stand around too long. i’ll make sure i get any chores done that i can, and i’ll try to chill in the evening

on a bad day/flareup: i wake up a lot later, have my electrolytes with water and only get out of bed when i need to. i’ll do schoolwork from my bed (if i feel well enough to concentrate), and have salty snacks rather than proper meals, unless my family make me anything. i stretch from bed to combat deconditioning, and if i feel decent enough i can have a bath

6. i don’t have access to any specific medication unfortunately, so i currently just manage with painkillers when my chronic pain is extra bitchy + anti-nausea meds when i feel sicky

7. salt sachets (the little ones you get at like mcdonald’s and stuff) to shove in my purse/pocket in case symptoms flare while i’m out, compression garments, electrolyte tablets, and a recliner bed so i can raise my legs more when resting

8. electrolyte drinks!! not the tablets though (i hate the taste of all the tablets except like 1 lol) - my fav is making electrolyte drinks from scratch! at the moment i really love iced lemon water with honey and salt. i also saw smth about this fancy coconut water drink to make so i may try that and it may become my favourite :0

9. salty crackers, salt and vinegar/ready salted crisps, mcdonalds fries (stfu i know these aren’t healthy but they’re my favs 😭), pretzels, nuts

+ my fav foods to dump a bunch of salt on: pasta, veggies and dips (SALTED CUCUMBER IS SO GOOD), pizza, chips, soup, risotto, probs almost anything i eat tbh

10. i’ve only got one pair but i love them so shoutout to my knee-length black compression socks <3

11. i don’t have any 🥲 i really wish i could have a cane or maybe even a rollator but my family make fun of me and i can’t afford one lolsies

12. i try to do some stretching in bed so that i can safely work against deconditioning, keeping very hydrated, trying to stay upstairs as much as possible so i don’t have to suffer my staircase, asking family to make food for me so i can save energy, taking pain meds when needed, having a cold bath (if possible), trying to keep preoccupied with work if i can, but if not i’ll watch movies on my ipad and stuff

fun fact: i wrote this on a flare LOL so oddly fitting and now i’ve already made myself a plan for the next few days!

13. the thing that’s helped me most is accepting that something is wrong and remembering to listen to my body. going through life pretending that i’m perfectly abled and don’t have anything wrong causes much more harm to me than letting myself rest a few days. it definitely isn’t easy though - i still find myself getting stressed over work deadlines don’t get me wrong, but i’d like to think i’m getting better at adapting to things and noticing when a flare is coming on so i can be prepared to take the time for my body to rest.

14. chairs are your best friends now. i steal the chairs/stools from the kitchen table whenever i’m doing chores standing up for more than 30 seconds. compression socks also help! OOH and if you’re using hot water/heated stuff and struggle with temperature dysreg, i usually grab myself a cup of ice to munch on or an icepack to hold on my chest so that i don’t overheat :)

15. i’m afraid i don’t have much input for this as i left school for health reasons 😭 but i suppose keeping hydrated, getting accommodations such as not too many stairs + being allowed to take more days off to rest for flares, compression gear where possible, staying high on sodium + electrolytes, and extended deadlines would be good!

16. i’m gonna sound so silly for this but i love rewatching my comfort stuff. i’ve got my fav youtubers + fav films/series all compiled in a list, and i spin a wheel to decide which one i’m gonna watch! other activities i enjoy though are reading, playing video games, doing goofy quizzes online, chatting with friends, and going on pinterest sprees!

17. leading on from the last prompt, my fav is a marvel movie - tbh all of them bring me so much comfort but my favs are avengers, black widow, loki and any of the thor films <3

18. my main support system is my wonderful boyfriend, kurtis @agere-tomhiddleston-imagines 💚💛 he’s helped me through so much and he’s so supportive of me no matter what, and i love him dearly for that (and how awesome he is in general ofc) <3 other than that, my parents are semi-supportive! they still get things wrong sometimes but overall they’ll help if i need things and they handle all the shitty healthcare workers for me so i truly appreciate them for that 😭🙏 ooh and definitely just the general online community of chronically ill people/potsies!! i love y’all so much 🫶

19. okay i don’t know if this counts because she was an orthodontist rather than a doctor/nurse, but when discussing me getting braces she asked about my medical history and i explained it all but said i haven’t been diagnosed so i understand if she can’t accommodate me. then she said to me, “hun.. just because you don’t have a piece of paper with a few words on it, doesn’t mean you aren’t ill. if you’ve got symptoms but no confirmed cause, you’ve still got the symptoms, and i’m not gonna ignore those unless you want me to” - the validation was so relieving after years of fighting for doctors to listen to me and believe me :,) ❤️

(i’ll update this throughout the month! <3)

#vitassium challenge #potsawareness #chronically ill #dysautonomia #potsie #spoonie #chronic illness #pots syndrome #disabled

7 notes · View notes

irastayshome · 2 years

Photo

It’s so funny how the things that would have kept us in a cold war before, just doesnt anymore. We got into an argument 2 days ago about me buying a fish tank for the kids. They’d beeen asking for it for months, before we found out the cancer had returned, but ive been putting it off because phew its been a heck of a ride since his surgery last year and me setting up the juice business and all to sorta help out with the finances a little. He got angry because I didn’t OK it with him before buying it, even though i’ve asked him several times for permission - on behalf of the kids cause hes very accustomed to immediately saying NO to them - and he has most definitely said yes, eventually. He got angry because its just an additional burden to care for on top of everything i’m already handling, and it felt like he was implying i’m already not doing a good job handling everything - the house, the kids, him. I got upset, obviously, because i’m already trying my best for months now with the additional responsibilities i’ve taken on, and i’m never gonna b perfect when it comes to meeting his expectations on domestic standards. Like honestly even with no cancer, I am very OK with how our house is like. Messy, but filled with life and laughter and memories with our children. The things that matter most to me anyway. I told him there’s little else I can do for our children right now, to ensure their childhood is still protected. We cannot go out anywhere apart from really hurried trips to the mall after school to get snacks, or selit like 20 minutes at the playground downstairs all while i am periodically checking the webcam to see if he is ok in his room and doesnt need any assistance. We cannot even eat out with him, unless his tummy is not reacting badly to the tumors and the medications, and thats increasingly rare these days.

So, a fish tank and fishes, seemed like an easy yes for me. The kids needed to feel like it was ok to still be kids, and to still care about things that excite them and made them curious even AS their father was battling terminal cancer. Because they have no idea their father is battling terminal cancer. And until Dr Farid says the exact words that these treatments are not curative, and only meant to delay the inevitable, I cannot bring myself to have that conversation with the children. I don’t know how to find the courage and strength for that, and I keep trying to approach it bit by bit with Ibrahim, but a part of me feels like its a betrayal to my husband. Its as though i’ve already given up on hope that he will make it, when in reality I haven’t.. not fully. I’d see him wean off his heavy pain medications and im like “oh my gosh.... does that mean.... “ but then i quickly stop that train of thought before i jinx it with my overly optimistic thoughts n wishes.

We have so much more good moments where we can just be our usual boring married people, watching netflix, holding hands, drinking tea while our kids are asleep. But then out of nowhere, we’d be watching a show that had some themes of cancer in it or sth, and because we’re better now, he’d share about his fears. And then we’d both be in tears, and hugging, and i’d have to keep biting my tongue from telling him it will be okay. I know thats what his mother would do. But I know the danger of stopping him from really sharing how he feels, and right now, he is scared. We are both deeply, deeply, scared. And i didn’t want him to feel that alone. and we don’t know if it will be ok, because he says the pain is so much better now, but yet he’s been having ringing in his ears all day, has a tremor which i can feel with his hands in mine, and spends some days sleeping all day.

I just have to keep believing that everything that has happened, is what He intended for us. Every step we’ve taken was to get at something, to learn something. This entire experience has made me realise that if he does not make it, I do not want a relationship with his mother. I need to protect my children and my heart, and allowing her to take up space in our lives, without him around, would really be poisonous, amidst having to adjust to being a single mother. This experience also taught me how much more capable I am than i thought, that i’m not just a sheltered person unable to deal with life’s curveballs. Im gonna need time to get up to speed on the finances and the technical parts that he’s been handling, but I have faith that I will learn. My boys will see that their mother can handle whatever life’s gonna throw our way, from here on, insyaAllah.

But most importantly, and in the most bittersweet way, this experience has taught me that love is not as romantic and sweet and dreamy as I once hoped. It is so messy. So raw. Yet so, so enduring, when it is real. And I know it is real with my husband. I know I love him, and I don’t doubt he loves me too. I know it is real when I hold his hand, and he tells me he is scared, and he doesn’t know if he’ll be around by the end of the year, or if he’ll be around to see how our boys grow up to be. I know he trusts me to take care of him, without judgement or complaint, and that he can unload on me his worries and I would not try to shut him down or brush his fears aside. He can’t do much for me now, but to have him hold my hand and tell me he wants a massage, it makes my heart warm like no gift or sweet words hes uttered ever did. Having him lean on me to get out of bed or out of the toilet feels so assuring, because I know he’d tell me if he needs help and not try to suck it in to soften it for us. I never thought i’d find that romantic, but I feel both physically and emotionally closer to him than I ever have when he does those things. Hence why it is bittersweet, because doing all those things make me yearn for him to get better even more fiercely. Because we NEED more time for this. Our marriage took a serious beating in the last 3 years, or maybe even 4, and cancer has stopped time and made everything move in slow motion, enough for us to really see through the blur of raising kids, supporting the family, managing our jobs, and to just see each other and how we’ve been treating each other. I need more time with him. The kids too. Oh, and I turned 32 today. I guess for the first time ever, I know exactly what to wish for.

0 notes

believinghurts · 3 years

Text

Their Daughter

Chapter 5

Author’s note: I use Grammarly to fix my mistakes, but there could still be some so sorry for that. Also, I am getting back into writing and am hoping to have a few more works out soon! Please reblog, like, or comment feedback is appreciated.

Word Count: 4,400

Warnings: None? Sirius being a d*ck? Maybe language, but I don’t think so.

Regulus wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he stroked his niece's hair. He was mad at his brother for basically throwing away the only good thing that had ever come from the Black family. Sirius was too blinded by the past to see what was right in front of him. As children, Sirius often told Regulus that he was their family's favorite and that it bothered him, but if he knew what it was like to be less loved then how can he love Harry more than Ali? He understood that Harry was Sirius's Godson, but couldn’t he love Ali and Harry equally? If Sirius made the effort maybe Ali and the other children could even be friends. His heart ached from the emotional battle that Ali was going through right now. Even if Sirius didn’t see it, he and Remus did. Ali’s light was dimmer than before and when she was lighting up again after finding out Sirius never came for her, Sirius just had to go and snuffed it out.

Carefully sliding out from under Ali and placing a pillow under her head Regulus left the room. He shut the door behind him casting a locking spell so she wouldn’t be bothered. He needed to speak with Remus first before doing anything. They needed to decide what to do about Ali. As much as Regulus wanted to spend time with her before she went back to school he didn’t want her to be this upset anymore. He walked into the study to find Remus and Nymphadora sitting near the fireplace.

“How is she?” Nymphadora blurted the question as soon as she saw her cousin. Remus had owled her after Ali had gone to her room. The older sister in her wanted to go up to Sirius and give him a piece of her mind, but she knew that it wouldn’t do any good.

“She’s asleep for now. All the fighting has exhausted her. I honestly don’t know what to do. I want her here, this is her home, but if Sirius doesn’t stop acting like the brut that he is it is going to hurt her more. Speaking of Sirius, where is he? It’s quiet.” Regulus flopped down on the chair across from Remus and Nymphadora raking a hand through his hair. His worry for Ali was causing him a headache. On one hand, he wanted to send Ali to stay at the Malfoy Manor for the remainder of summer, but on the other, he wanted to hold her close and have her stay in her home where she belonged.

“Sirius left with Harry after you went upstairs. He hasn’t been home since. The Weasleys stepped out to Diagon Alley to get the kids stuff for school.” Remus replied. He was secretly thankful that the house was mainly empty. This way at least Ali could come down if she felt like it without the chance of someone bothering her. Remus was having the same thoughts as Regulus about keeping Ali at home virus's sending her to the Manor. He just wanted his niece to be happy. The hope that he had of Sirius and Ali having the father/daughter relationship was gone. If only Remus could get Sirius to open his eyes to the pain he was causing to the girl, but Sirius was nothing if not stubborn.

“I think I am going to write to Cissa and see if she can keep Ali for the rest of summer. If that’s what it takes for her to be happy then so be it. We can see her off at the -“

“I don’t want to leave,” Ali’s voice interrupted. “I want to stay here with you. Please don’t make me leave. I can handle it, I promise.”

Ali knew that she and Regulus were going to have to talk about the fact that she called him dad, but that was a private conversation. Right now she needed to convince the adults in the room that she didn’t need to leave. She could take Sirius. Yes the words that he had said hurt her and the actions he did tonight furthered that hurt in her heart, but she was done. She didn’t owe him anything, and it was clear she knew that he didn’t want to be her father. She had meant what she said to Regulus. He was her father in all the ways that counted. He loved her unconditionally, was always there for her, and protected her.

She went and sat on the couch in between Nymphadora and Remus who wrapped an arm around her pulling her close to his chest. “It might be best if you went and stayed for the rest of the summer at the Manor, Al. This isn’t good for you mentally. We all can see how drained you are.”

“No, this is my home. I can handle it. I have you all plus the older Weasleys and Fleur. You'll protect me and if I need to get away for a little bit I’ll owl Blaise or Draco to go to Diagon Alley or something. I want to spend time with you. Times are hard right now and you never know when you are going to lose someone and I would like to have as much time with each of you just in case.”

Regulus leaned forward taking Ali’s hand in his, “Nothing, and I mean nothing is going to happen to us. I love you more than you could ever imagine and if you want to stay here you can.” Ali smiles brightly at that before Regulus cut her off, “but you have to tell me, Remus, or Severus, if anything happens. And you have to come out of your room. I am not having you locking yourself away again. Got it?”

Ali pounced on Regulus, hugging his neck tight. She was excited to spend some more time with her family. She had meant what she said about never knowing when something was going to happen. Wizards had been disappearing all over London and she was genuinely scared something was going to happen to her loved ones. She was going to make it a point to take plenty of photos and make enough memories to last a lifetime the next couple of weeks.

Regulus held his niece tight, fighting back the tears when she whispered, “Thanks, Dad,” into his ear. He had been called a lot of things in his life, but this was one title he was going to wear proudly.

Remus’s voice interrupted the moment, “wait for a second, why are you going to owl Blaise? We have an agreement, young lady, no boys till you're thirty!”

Ali’s giggle was music to those in the room with her, and for the first time that summer they all saw Ali smile at home the brightest she had since everyone arrived.

————

The rest of the day was eventful which was something that everyone was thankful for. Nymphadora left shortly after spending some time with Ali since she had something to attend to with Moody, so that left Regulus, Ali, and Remus to watch the Star Wars movies in Ali’s room. Kreacher brought them snacks while they made a fort on the floor. Ali was incredibly content laying on the mounds of pillows in between her Uncles. When she was younger they would have movie nights like this once a month until she started Hogwarts. Even then she and her friends carried on the tradition in the boy's dorm since Draco was often present at the ones hosted at home. She wished that she could have Draco over now, but knew that if she brought him here then everyone in the house would throw a fit about it, maybe it was something to bring up to Regulus later.

Molly called them all down for dinner shortly after the second film ended. Leaving the mess on the floor the trio made their way downstairs with Ali trailing behind her Uncles. She could feel her nerves spike the closer she got to the dining room. She thought about excusing herself stating she wasn’t hungry, but the loud growl in her stomach gave her hunger away. Everyone had already sat down beside Harry and Sirius when they got into the room. Regulus pulled the seat out next to him for his niece. Fleur shot her a smile when she sat down by her uncle with Charlie on her other side. At least she was sitting near someone who didn’t hate her.

Chatter and the sounds of forks on plates filled the room as everyone got their fill of Molly’s meatballs and onion sauce. Everyone broke off into separate conversations. Remus, Regulus, and Arthur talking about the Ministry, the younger Weasleys, and Hermione talking about Quidditch, Bill and Fleur about their upcoming wedding, and Charlie and Ali talking about his work in Romania. “What are you planning on doing after you leave Hogwarts?”

Ali shot a glance over at Remus who was doing a terrible job of disguising his eavesdropping on the duo. “I am thinking about becoming a professor. I like creatures obviously so I was thinking something along those lines, but I also like Herbology. So maybe that. I just know I want to teach.”

Charlie shot her a grin. “Have you thought about where? I know Hogwarts has Sprout for Herbology and Hagrid was doing Care of Magical Creatures, but you still have three more years of school so maybe they’ll need someone by the time you're done.”

Ali shrugged her shoulders. In all honesty, she wanted to leave England and travel for a bit but knew that if she brought it up now it would be a fight or something so she bit her tongue. “Maybe.”

The noise came to a halt when the door slammed open in the living room. Everyone hopped to their feet, wands at the ready. It felt like hours had passed before the intruder walked through the door. “Sirius! Harry! Merlin, you scared us all.”

“Sorry, it’s raining hard and we were in a rush to get back home.” Sirius shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. Everyone retook their seats beside Milly who served Harry and Sirius. Ali tried her hardest to keep from looking at the latest duo that entered, not wanting to cause any more trouble or to give Sirius a reason to lash out at her.

Dinner passed rather quickly, conversations flowed in their small groups. Charlie had gone with Fleur and Bill on a scouting mission shortly after eating, while Fred and George worked on new products for their shop. Ali was in her head thinking about asking to go to meet Pansy in the coming days to look at a new book shop. Pansy wasn’t much of a reader but was always looking for an excuse to get out of her house. She was startled when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up Molly was smiling softly at her while handing her a letter in a dark blue envelope. She instantly knew who the letter was from since only one person used that kind of envelope when writing her.

“This came for you, dear, when you were with your uncles. I didn't want to bother you then I almost forgot just now.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Weasley.” Ali smiled at the kind woman. Despite her feelings towards most of the Weasley children, their parents were quite nice.

Molly patted her cheek before walking off. Ali started to rip the top off when she got Regulus’s eye and he winked at her. He knew who the letter was from having met the boy a few times already. Her cheeks flushed and continued to do so while reading it.

Dear Supernova,

I hope you are surviving the dreadfulness that is upon you right now with all the people in your house. Yes, Draco told me what was going on yesterday when I finally threatened to out his crush if he didn’t explain why we hadn’t been seeing you a lot this summer. I have to say I am quite hurt that you didn’t tell me yourself. Best friends I thought. Just joking, but seriously you could have told me about him and I wouldn't have said a word to anyone.

I miss you, Supernova. We’ve only got to see each other once this summer and we both know when school starts you will have a book shoved in front of your face in the first three minutes. Could we get together sometime this week? It has been awful at home and if I have to hear Draco's voice one more time without you there to tell him off for being annoying I may throw myself off the astronomy tower.

Your uncle may not agree, but you could come to stay at mine for a night. Mother agreed to it as long as Regulus does and we have separate rooms. If you can't, maybe I can come to you? I don’t really care what the redheads have to say about me being there so don’t worry about that. We have much to catch up on; like the fact that you got Headgirl and also didn’t write and tell me. I had to find that little tidbit out from Parkinson's. Don’t worry we’ll catch up whether that's soon or on the train.

love,

Zabini

Ali felt a pang of guilt hit her square in the chest. She hadn’t meant to forget to fill Blaise in on her life but it had been so crazy recently she hadn’t got to write anyone much. In all the truth no one knew that she had gotten Headgirl. She had gotten the letter from Flitwich a few days after the Weasley’s arrived and completely forgot. Although she told her Uncles she didn’t want to go anywhere spending some time with Blaise sounded nice. Deciding to just rip the bandaid off she looked up to find Regulus and Remus looking at her with amused smiles on their faces.

“What’s you got there, Ali?” Remus asked, causing her cheeks to flame red. She wasn’t scared to say that she wanted to hang out with a boy. She did it all the time whether it was Blaise, Theo, or Draco; it was more to do with the fact that she was about to ask to spend the night at a boys' house. Even if they were going to be in separate rooms and they had fallen asleep cuddled together weeks prior at the Malfoys, something none of her Uncles knew, it was going to be a little fight to get Remus to agree as he made the ‘no dating till you’re thirty’ rule when she was five and asked for a boyfriend for Christmas.

Looking around she noticed all attention was on her even if the other adults in the room were making it seem like they weren’t listening while the children openly gawked. “Uhm,” she was cut off by Severus stepping into the room. Great, now she had to face all three Uncles. Where were Dora and Cissa when she needed them?

Severus hugged her quickly before taking a place by Regulus. “Who's the letter from Ali?” He asked her letting her know there was no getting out of it and that she was going to have to spill the beans.

“It’s from Blaise,” A look of amusement passed Regulus’s face, making her think that he knew what was in the letter already while Remus looked like he was going to snatch the letter out of her hands and read it himself if she didn’t hurry up.

“And what possibly could it say to have your cheeks looking like the inside of Gryffindor common room?” Regulus teased further.

She coughed trying to get her nerves resealed. “He was saying that we need to catch up before school starts, and invited me to come and stay with him and Mrs. Zabini for a night this week.”

Remus grunted while Regulus smiled. Ali had to hide a giggle as she noticed all the other mouths in the room had dropped to the floor. Ali knew that except for Hermione and Harry the Weasley’s never stayed or had anyone else with them.

“Can I, please? His mother said we would have separate rooms and she will be there as well as the house-elves. We only got to see one another once this summer. He said if I can’t he could come here, but honestly, I think the first option is better. Please?” She pulled out her best puppy eyes and pouty lip. She was not above begging for it but didn’t want to do so with everyone staring at her.

Regulus looked over at Remus. Ali could see the silent conversation going on between them. Regulus’s head inclined slightly toward Ali which she hoped to Merlin was a good thing. Remus looked back at his niece with a look in his eye she couldn’t read. “Rosalynn said you’ll have separate rooms?” Ali nodded her head so fast she almost gave herself whiplash. “And you’ll stay in them?” Once again she nodded, although she knew that they more than likely would be in the family room till late hours in the night. He looked back at Regulus, “you have no problems with her going?”

“No, I already knew about it. Rosalynn wrote about two days ago. If she wants to go, that's fine. You know Rosalynn will look after her as she does Blaise. And the Heavens know that boy would jump in front of the Knight Bus for Ali.” Regulus chuckled at Ali's shocked expression.

“Y-you knew? Why didn’t you say anything?” Ali struggled to get the words out.

“Rosalynn said Blaise wanted to ask you. She was just giving me a heads up, knowing how Remus is with boys and you. You know we talked quite often, Als.” Regulus winked at her.

“You may go,” Remus stated. She was shocked she didn’t have to put up more of a fight.

“WHAT?” Sirius shrieked. He knew that Regulus would let her go to the Death Eaters house, but Remus? He thought he could count on his ‘friend’ to at least say no. “You’re letting her go to the Death Eaters house? AGAIN? Who's also a boy and staying the night? Are you mad?”

Remus looked at Sirius with disdain, “No I am not. She is a good girl and Blaise has been her friend for years. Rosalynn loves her as much as we do and would never let anything happen. And for God's sake quit calling everyone a Death Eater.”

“Outrageous.”

“Sirius, you have no say in what she does. You gave that up last night. Ali is a good girl who makes good choices. Not only that but she also deserves a little something since she got Headgirl this year, don’t you think?” Regulus smirked as he saw the Granger girl's face fall.

“You got Headgirl?” Hermione whispered to Ali with disbelief lacing her voice.

“Yeah, I did. Draco got Headboy I believe, but it may be Theo. I haven’t asked yet.”

“Why do you and Draco get Head of Houses? Why not Hermione and -“ Ali cut her dear Godbrother off.

“And who? You? Ron? Why would any of you get Head of Houses with all the trouble you bring in? Sneaking out, stealing things, picking fights. We do have the highest marks in most classes as well as treat others equally unlike the likes of you.”

If looks could kill Ali would be dead three times over. In all honesty, she kinda felt bad for the younger Weasley boy seeing as all of his older brothers, bar Fred and George had been Headboy. But then she thought about the trouble he and his friends had caused her and her friends as well as others over the years. Harry preached about equality among the houses but she had witnessed many times when younger Slytherins were picked on by Gryiffndors. Hufflepuffs generally didn't have any problems with the other houses so long as everyone was being just. Ravenclaws tended to keep to themselves unless it really involved them. Whereas Slytherins preferred to stand up to those picking on other Slytherins especially the younger ones. Slytherins were always made out to be the bullies when in general if you got to know them people would notice that they are a lot more than what their parents used to be.

Ally had heard the stories of how mean James and Sirius were to those in Slytherin even if they never did anything to them. She believed in harmless fun could be had pulling pranks, but tricking someone into going to a place where a werewolf was was downright cruel. She had no doubts in her mind that James and Sirius were once good people like her Uncle Remus is now, but seeing as Sirius still acts like a child those doubts were becoming known.

“I just think that Slytherins shouldn’t be Head of House when all you will do is favor your own, and treat everyone else like dirt,” Ron stated.

“Ronald Weasley! How dare you say such a thing?!” Molly exclaimed.

“It’s alright Mrs. Weasey. I am used to hearing such things come from them and others in their house,” Ali looked Ron in the eyes, “You seem to forget that I’m a Ravenclaw, not a Slytherin. I do not favor anyone and will not when I start Head Girl duties but know this. I will give you as many detentions as you deserve if you are caught bullying, harassing, belittling, any of the other houses. You may think that Gryiffndors are the bravest of the houses and maybe you are in some ways, but you are cowardly in others. Maybe some Slytherins are as bad as you make them seem, but Harry,” she turned her head slightly to the side, “you seem to forget just which house Peter Pettigrew was in when he was the one who betrayed your parents. And Regulus was in Slytherin but seems to be more loyal to his friends and family than that rat was.”

“It seems that Alianova has given you all something to think about as you're getting ready for bed,” Molly stated looking at all the children present in the room. Her face grew red when she saw that none of them had moved a muscle. “Now.”

Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, jumped from their seats and booked it to the stairs scared of Mrs. Weasley’s wrath. At some point, Charlie, Fluer, and Bill came back from scouting. Charlie ruffled Ali’s hair causing her to grin. “Good job, kid. You’ll make a great Head Girl.” Bill and Fleur nodded in agreement. “Nothing happened while we were out. We’ll give a full debrief tomorrow, but we will be heading to bed as well. Good night everyone.”

Molly walked to Ali and pulled her up out of her chair before placing both hands on Ali’s pale cheeks. “Don’t you worry, dear, I will be talking with all of them in the morning. You made a lot of valid points, and I for one am proud that you are Head Girl.”

She kissed her forehead before taking her husband to go to bed after waving her wand to get the kitchen clean once again. Arthur offered Ali a small smile before disappearing behind his wife. Sirius scoffed at the behavior which everyone heard but chose to ignore.

Ali turned to her three Uncles, waiting for the answer about going to her friends, and the scene that just played out in the kitchen.

“I am proud of you as well, Alianova. You have done excellent, and I know it is Remus and Regulus' decision about going to Blaises’, but I see no problem with it. I will stay in the guest room. Come get me if you need me. Good night, Ali.” He hugged her tightly, making Ali tear up slightly at the thought of Servus being proud of her. It also made her giddy at the thought of rubbing it in Draco’s face since Severus is his Godfather and never said such a thing to him.

Remus followed after Servus, wrapping his niece in a bear hug around her shoulders. The height difference amusing Regulus to no end seeing as Ali only came about midway in Remus’s chest. “You may go as long as it’s okay with Reg, and you stay in separate rooms. I am a little mad though that you didn’t tell me yourself about getting Head Girl, but I am still incredibly proud of you. No one deserves this more than you do, not even Harry.” The last part was whispered in her ear. He kissed her forehead, before heading to his room.

With the three Blacks being the only ones left in the room. “I don’t think you should go.” Sirius’s voice was venomous as he thought about his only child, his legacy, spending time with Death Eaters.

“It’s a good thing it doesn’t matter what you think isn’t it?” Regulus smirked at his older brother. He was not going to take this away from his child. “Ali, you may go so long as you stay in your separate rooms whenever the two of you decide to go to sleep because I know from having all your mates over it will be late.” He walked to Ali cradling her freckled face in his hands. “I am so proud to call you my daughter. Even after all that you have been through in your life you have still managed to form your own beliefs and thoughts as well as stand up for them. You deserve Head Girl over anyone else, and hopefully, you get to share it with one of your friends.”

Ali dove into her Uncle's chest. Tears welling up into her eyes at the thought that he really did think of her as his own even if she already knew it. It was nice to hear out loud. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I love you, dad.” She kissed his cheek before heading to her room to write Blaise.

Sirius felt his anger sore to new heights when he heard Ali call Regulus dad. He had enough courtesy to wait till she was out of earshot before grounding out, “We need to talk, Regulus.”

#harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #remus lupin #sirius black #regulus black x niece!reader #remus lupin x niece!reader #harry potter oc #severus snape x niece!reader #sirius black x daughter!reader #draco malfoy x platonic!reader #blaise zabini x reader

574 notes · View notes

the-soliloquies-of-sadists · 3 years

Text

#259

“Seth? Right? C’mon in. Your brother told you who I am? Good. Want a beer?... Here you go. Let’s go out to the back deck. The sun went down, and the cool evening air is starting to kick in. Have a seat…. Ok. Seth, do you know why you are here? Let me be blunt. Your brother David owes me a lot of money. A lot. He’s been doing jobs for me that I need someone I can trust to do. But that’s barely covering the interest. I told him he needs to start working down the principal. So, he offered me… you….

“That’s right he sold you to me. You are going to whore off his debt…. Shut the fuck up. The deal is set. Have some more beer; it will help you to deal with what I need to go over with you….

“Your brother probably told you that I am a powerful man. Hopefully he didn’t tell you what I did. I will share with you one part of my business that you will be a part of. I have several whore agencies across several states. They ain’t like the whorehouses in the movies. The girls never see money; they show up at a set time and do whatever the man wants. They do not say no. They get to live in city, and they show their clients the best the city has to offer. They have everything paid for and get a nice credit card too.

“A few years ago—hell it’s more like ten or so, —I was convinced to do the same but on the fag side. Now, I knew nothing about fag sex, and it disgusted me. Once I got over the visuals, the business was just like the girls. The difference I found out was that I had to have two sets of whores—fag boys like yourself, and men old enough to be your father.

“It was Frankie, one of my goons, who told me that there is a lot money to be made by men taking the dominant role. I didn’t believe it. So, he arranged for me to watch him from a distance him work over this faggot. He didn’t tell me how much he was earning. When I saw this fag hand over three hundred bucks, I knew I needed to get into this. I mean my guy did barely anything other than smack the fag around, call him names, and sit on the faggot’s face at the end. That fag ate that fat ass while pounding its pud. Frankie even went over to the fag’s wallet and took an additional hundred out of it. And wouldn’t you know, that fag boy was loving life.

“Needless to say, that was how I got into the fag whoring business. I had Frankie lead it; he even got somewhat in shape, and now he’s my most popular whore men. Wait a minute, you know him. He fucked you behind a dumpster in the alley behind that fag bar a couple weeks ago. When I saw you at David’s birthday partner at my tavern and he told me that you were his sperm burping brother, I sent Frankie to find out more about you. I know that you can take a good pounding, face slaps, rough housing. Frankie also told me that you cleaned off his cock after we was done and that you drank his piss. You even begged him for more as he walked away from you, naked covered in piss behind the dumpster. That’s all I needed to hear.

“After meeting with your brother, all I had to do was press the massive debt. I knew how self-serving he was. He sold you out so fucking fast. And now I own you. Now strip faggot….

“You do realize who I am? No one ever disobeys one of my direct commands. Now think about your next move real carefully. STRIP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT. Take your time standing up. That drug I put in your beer will make you kinda dizzy if you stand too fast. Yeah, I didn’t want you to run back to your car. Kid, when you came in that door, you were mine. That’s it. Accept your fate. Good boy.

“Yeah, after Frankie roughed up that fag, I was curious. He arranged for me to use one of his regulars who was blindfolded. It was so much fun to kick and punch that faggot only to have him crawl to me, begging for more. With each time, I got more wicked, and they wanted more. I had a few fags over the years locked up and had the best of all worlds. My wife provides me with companionship. My girlfriend offers sensual making love and snuggling. And my faggot takes all my rage filled abuse.

“Underwear needs to go too. Let’s see what you have. Not bad. Looks like you are excited about being naked in front of me. That’s a lot of pre-cum. Decent sized balls. I’d say you are about six inches long. The shaft is a bit thin, but the head is good size. Your foreskin is not too long. That’s good. If there’s going to be one sweaty stinky dick around here, it will be mine. If yours becomes a problem, we’ll get you circumcised.

“What? Faggot, you are nothing more to me than my pickup. If I want to modify you out, I sure as hell am going to. I modify all my property. Tattoos, piercing, permanent hair removal, castration, branding, and so on. But actually, I am a bit cautious. I made the mistake of castrating a fag and regretted it afterwards. He just didn’t seem right to me. The cutter I went to tried to put in fake balls, but it still didn’t seem right. I ended up replacing that fag with another.

“I am looking for my perfect fag. I’m planning on letting my girlfriend go, but sometimes I need that close touch. Not going to do that with my wife. Every day now I realize that I want to be with faggots over women. Faggots are so much easier to mold into what I want. And every now and then I might snuggle with one.

“I like what I see. I want to see your cumload. Jerk off for me. I’ll give you a few minutes to do so. When you do, shoot in your spare hand. I want to see the quantity. I’m going to get your collar; it’s probably done charging. I’m also going to take your car keys. You ain’t going anywhere. Continue jacking….

“….Did you cum? You did! Good fag. When was the last time you came? Yesterday morning? Well that’s a good load. Here, lock this collar around your neck. Ok, so here’s the deal. You can jack off as often as you like, whenever you like as long as I am not using you. If I catch you jacking off, don’t stop. If you are watching porn, continue. But know this, no matter if you haven’t cum in days or you just had a massive orgasm, should I require your use, I fully expect 100% horniness and enthusiasm.

“This remote is hooked up to your collar. With this button… you fall to the floor just like that. Hurt’s like a mother fucker hunh? That’s on low. Remember that. It is also set up to shock you should you cross a 20-foot perimeter of the house. I am notified by an app on my phone when you do something that stupid. Also, the garage and my office on the third floor are completely off limits. You will not fare well should you cross that threshold without me.

“Bring your cock over here. Is your dick head sensitive. It is! Fuck yes! As you get soft, it’s driving you crazy. Good. Good. I see a problem here. Your pubic hair is all over the place. You shouldn’t have hair down here. Look how long this hair is. There’s enough so that I can twirl a bunch around my finger. With a firm yank,… it comes out in one clump. Aww shut the fuck up. Most of the time your screams of pain will turn me on, but now it’s just annoying. Another clump on the other side, and it doesn’t even look like you lost any.

“Look at me faggot. Say ‘Thank you.’ Good fag. Open your mouth. Here eat your pubic hair. Go on chew it. Nasty? I know, now swallow. And here’s… another bunch. Swallow these…. And these… And these… You’ll be permanently shaved in the near future so you won’t have to do much pubic hair eating.

“While you finish your snack, let me take you around the place and show you your duties. This is the kitchen. David told me that you went to culinary school but then dropped out. Well, you will be doing all the cooking here. Cleaning too.

“Let’s go downstairs…. This is your room, although you really don’t have privacy. Over there is your cot. Next to it is the plug you will put into your collar every night. I am notified on my app should the power level drop below 75%. That’s equivalent for not charging for a full week. Unless I just slam you with shocks, I should never get one of those notifications.

“You have a wash basin there, and your toilet is there. There’s your douche hose over there in the shower. No, I haven’t gotten around to buying it a toilet seat; the cold porcelain is fine. And I haven’t hooked up the hot water down here.

“Let’s go up to the Master bedroom…. You never climb into my bed unless I invite you in. In fact no non-sexual furniture for you either without permission. Through that door is the master bath. You will keep this place spotless. That includes licking clean my toilet. The rimseat next to it is when I want to make you toilet paper or a full toilet.

“And here’s the playroom. It’s totally soundproofed. You are going to suffer a lot in here. Screaming is encouraged. In fact, what time is it? Seven. Well we might as well start now. Get on all fours—knees and elbows. Spread those knees wide. Every night you will present yourself in this position, as you will every morning.

“Don’t get too excited. I am going to fuck you good, long, and deep. But that won’t until the end. We got a long way to go. You see, the only people who knows my affinity for preferring the boys to the girls are Frankie, me, and now you. Your brother thinks I’m adding you to my harem of fags. This is something that cannot get out. And if it does, I will know it came from you, and I want you to know the perpetual hell that will come your way.

“Tonight is a test of what you can expect, but keep in mind, tonight’s suffering will be only five hours long, much shorter than what will be if my preference is ever widely known.

“And after the paddling your ass to a welted mess, whipping your back until it turns to bloody hamburger, kicking your balls until they are swollen to twice their size, bruising up your face, and fucking you with very little lube, I may feel the need to snuggle up with you afterwards.

“But first, there’s a lot to do before we do that. Oh look your balls are just ripe for a good old fashioned full-force kick. Every night and every morning you will get one to always remind you what you are.

“Faggot right now with this kick your hell begins.”

473 notes · View notes

the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

Text

Always

Summary: You overhear Steve talking to Bucky about going back to be with Peggy. Rather than confronting the situation, you write him a letter.

Warnings: I cried just thinking about writing this, so much angst, some swearing

Word Count: 3305

a/n: here it is folks: the sad fic I mentioned a few posts ago. Inspired by a multitude of songs from the album Ashlyn by Ashe. I high key recommend listening to that album while you read or just in general. I'm pretending like nobody died in Endgame because that shit is sad and I know this is sad aside from that, but I still have a heart ya know?

Per usual, any song lyrics (or song lyrics that I changed a bit) are in bold! I think used lyrics from Me Without You, Save Myself, I'm Fine, Love is Not Enough, and Always.

Masterlist

"You'd really want to go back?" You overheard Bucky right before you walked into Steve's room.

"I don't know." He let out a deep sigh. "I mean, I do know, but what do you think?" Steve's answer left you wondering what they were discussing.

"All for Peggy?" Your heart stopped waiting for Steve to reply.

Another sigh escaped his lips. You could easily picture him running his hands down his face, a signal he was deep in thought. "I mean, I never got a chance to see what would happen with her. Don't you think she deserves this much?"

You felt frozen. You couldn't hear the rest of Steve's answer or Bucky's reply over the sound of blood rushing through your ears.

It was all too much to handle. Rather than confront the grab bag of emotions swimming inside of you, you turned around and went back to your room in a zombie like haze.

"Friday, don't let anyone in my room."

You know the AI replied, but you were still too caught up in thought to understand it. Your mind was full of questions you knew you couldn't figure out the answers to alone.

Why would Steve want to go back for Peggy when he had you? Why would he even consider it if he loved you like he said he does? Is he still in love with Peggy? Has he been in love with her the whole time? Why would he choose her when he's spent so much more time with you?

"Y/N?" The sound of Steve's voice outside your door startled you. "Y/N, honey, are you in there?"

You could hear the doorknob rattling in his attempt to open it, but Friday was doing as you asked.

"I thought you were going to meet me downstairs?"

His words only broke your heart more, a small sniffle escaping despite your efforts to remain quiet.

"Are you not feeling well? What's wrong?"

His questions were left unanswered, much like the questions swimming around your head.

Steve kept talking to you through the door for a while, but you never replied. You weren't ready to face him, not until you knew you wouldn't say something you'd later regret.

The next few days carried on much the same. You refused to leave your room, relying on various snacks and protein bars you had for food. Every few hours, you would try to write down what you were feeling, but it didn't help calm you down the same way it typically did.

Everyone tried talking to you, but nothing worked. Steve spent hours outside your door every day in an effort to get you to talk to him, but you just couldn't figure out your emotions. It was all still too much to handle.

Late one night, Steve said something that forced you into action.

"Y/N, I don't know what happened, but if I did something I'm truly sorry. I'm returning the stones tomorrow. We've never not said goodbye before a mission... I just hope this one is the same."

You listened as he quietly walked back down the hallway, steps slowly receding until you were left in the same absolute silence you've spent the last few days.

You knew you had to talk to him, but hearing him say to your face that he's staying with Peggy would kill you.

You couldn't survive a permanent goodbye, not in your current state of mind.

After a few minutes of silent contemplation, you decided to write Steve a letter. Maybe you'd give it to him or maybe it would just help you organize your thoughts. Either way, it would be helpful to write to someone for a change.

Hi Steve,

I, well, I guess I'll start with this. You deserve an apology. I'm truly sorry for ignoring you for the past few days. I just... I heard what you said to Bucky and I didn't know how to deal with it.

You know I've never been the best at controlling my emotions, so I just holed myself up in here. I avoided you so I could figure out my own feelings first.

I know I should talk to you. You deserve that too, but I don't think I could survive the heartbreak. I guess I'll try to explain everything I've been thinking and feeling since that night.

Honestly, I'm not sure where to start. It feels kind of stupid to say, but I obviously experienced a range of emotions when I first heard you and Bucky talking about going back.

You know I've always found solace in writing, so that's what I'm doing. I needed a way to clear my thoughts, and it turned into this concoction of thoughts and some poems - you know how I feel about poems. (Look at that! A sarcastic comment! I didn't think I was capable of humor anymore.)

This might not surprise you, but the first emotion I clung to was anger. I'm not angry anymore, well at least not as angry. Anyway, I wrote this next part when I was absolutely pissed at you.

What the fuck?

You want to go back in time and stay there?

You want to leave me behind?

Steve, what the fuck is wrong with you?

I could keep you here. If I really wanted to, I could figure out a way to do it. I could cut the brakes just to keep you from leaving. I'll do it too. My hands on the wheel would drive us into a wall.

You must think I'm being petty. Hiding in my room like a child to avoid you. All the while, here I am writing all the things I could do to keep you. Well, news flash: I don't need you. You made me think the only world I could exist in, was one you lived in, almost had me fooled.

Here's something you probably never considered, because I sure as shit never thought I'd even need to. I can be me without you. I don't have to rely on you for my own happiness. I thought you loved me, but if you want to go back and be with Peggy, do it. Go find yourself, let me down.

It's easy to sit here now and look back on how everything we had would always be second string to your relationship with her. God damn hindsight's 2020.

I want you to know, you did this to me. You broke my heart. When I heard you say you wanted a chance to be with Peggy, it's like my whole world crumbled down around me.

Everything I thought I knew was ripped out from under me. You poured rain all over my sunny. Yeah, someday, this could all be funny, but right now it's absolute shit.

And maybe everything will work out the way it's meant to be, but honestly I couldn't give less of a shit about that right now.

If I had the chance, I would take it back. Everything. Meeting you. Becoming friends. Dating you. Falling in love. I'd be jumping off your sinking ship, instead of going down with it.

It'd be so much easier that way. If I never fucking knew you.

One day I'll be good. I'll be over all of this bullshit. Right now I'm just mad. And you know what, it's justifiable. I think I'm allowed to be mad at you.

I'm over being so mature. If only I was never yours. Maybe I'll go back in time and undo it all. Then at least I could save myself from you.

Like I said, I wrote that in the heat of the moment. Once my brain caught up to my ears, all I saw was red. Anger didn't last as long as you might think though.

All that was how I felt in the moment, but I want you to know it's not true. I don't really believe any of it. I was hurt and angry and avoiding the pain I knew was just around the corner.

I've always told you anger would be my downfall because I just can't control what I say.

Let me be completely clear, I would never want to undo meeting you. You've been the best part of my life for years. I need you to know that I don't regret any of it and I never will.

Anyway, the anger shifted to tears pretty quickly. It wasn't hard to feel the pain that comes with someone you love leaving you. I can't honestly picture a world where I don't love you.

This is the first poem I wrote. With tear blurring my vision, I put pen to paper and this is what came out.

Complicated. Understated. On the way to, Devastated. I'm just holding on for dear life.

Short and sweet, right? Well, not so much sweet, but you get the point. I feel broken. Here's another bit of poetry for ya.

Right now I'm sorry, Burns through me darling, But I can't help hope In thirty years it won't.

Maybe I just need time. That's what everyone always says. "Time can heal all wounds."

It's hard to even think about moving on though when everything reminds me of you. I've got emotional souvenirs from fleeting moments we spent together. If this is the end, I'll always know you were my golden years. I know in the future I could close my eyes and go back there.

Maybe that's the hardest part. Knowing I'll always have these memories.

All I've been thinking about for the past three days is if this will ever feel better. And maybe it will, when time has passed.

Maybe when I'm older, I'll run out of stories about you. Maybe when I'm older, I'll know what it's like not to love you, Anymore.

Despite my best efforts, it's still only a maybe. Maybe when I'm older I'll be able to stop thinking about you every second of the day. Maybe when I'm older I won't feel like crying everytime I see your face.

But maybe not. Maybe I'll always feel this way.

Maybe when I'm six feet, underneath the concrete, I'll know what it's like not to want you, anymore.

I'm not saying all this to make you feel guilty. You don't need to tell me you're sorry. I know you are. I know you would never hurt me like this without a reason.

I should just talk to you, but I don't think I can. Not yet. We don't need to talk til we're ready. Both of us.

I guess I do have one question. Do you really love me?

I don't think I want to know the answer right now. Because even if you do... it takes a lot more than a rose, more than a kiss, more than a heart to truly love someone and spend forever with them.

It takes a lot more than a ring, more than a vow, more than a promise to build and maintain a relationship.

Love is not enough. I know that now. Even if you love me to the best of your abilities, you could still love Peggy more. Love may not be enough for us, but at least we got that much.

If you leave, I'll live the rest of my life grateful that at least I got your touch for as long as I did.

I used to think we could take our sweet time, that everything would be just fine. But now I know maybe not.

I cried for days. Like I said, I'm not writing this to make you feel guilty though. I just want to be completely honest. I cried a lot, probably more than I ever have before.

I kept replaying memories of time I spent with you. Not even dates, just the small moments that made me know I love you.

Like that day I woke up too early, almost put salt in my coffee. Oh I thank God that you stopped me before that.

I've never been a morning person, but ever since I met you you've always been there to keep my head on straight.

I think the thing I love most about you is how you can read me better than anyone I've ever known. I can hide from everyone else and they won't bat an eye. They never can tell when I'm falling apart on the inside.

No matter how hard I try to hide it though, you don't believe me when I say I'm alright. You can always, always tell.

It's like you've got a sixth sense that tells you I need you when I try to say I'm fine.

Before I met you, I would get so lonely everyday. Now I'm only lonely until you ask if I'm okay and then I remember that I have people who are there for me. I have you.

All this to say, I love you, Steve. I love you more than I've ever loved another human being.

Forever yours,

Y/N

It took you nearly all night to write a coherent letter and come up with a plan to talk to Steve. A quick glance at the clock let you know Steve would be up any minute, so you had to act fast.

You opened your door for the first time in days, running in a full sprint to the stairs and down the hall to Steve's door.

With one final burst of courage, you shoved the letter under the door and ran away before anyone could find you out of your room.

"Y/N?" A familiar knock on your door woke you from a restless sleep. "I read your letter, Y/N please let me explain."

It felt like time slowed down as you stared at the door.

"Y/N, I have to bring the stones back, but I really want to talk to you first."

"Come in." You steadied yourself with a deep breath, but one look at Steve ruined your flimsy resolve.

"Y/N... I tried to wait for you to come to me, but..."

He stopped talking when you shook your head, a painful sob forming in your chest.

"I've been thinking a lot." You started slowly, voice scratchy from days of not being used except to cry. "What if staying with me isn't the best thing to keep you happy?"

"Y/N, I-"

"Please let me finish." You waited for him to acknowledge your words before you spoke again.

"If letting you go is the best way to show that I love you, I will." Tears poured down your cheeks, breaths coming to you shakily.

"Captain Rogers, your presence is requested in the backyard." Friday's voice echoed through the room.

Steve looked more torn than you've ever seen him.

"Let's go." You nodded toward the door. "I've got more to say, but you've got somewhere to be."

Slowly, the two of you walked down the hall and entered the elevator.

"I don't know if you'll ever come back-"

"Y/N, really just let me-"

"Steve, please." You begged him to let you get it all out. "I won't ask 'cause that's selfish."

"It's not." He cut in again.

"It is. You deserve to be as happy as possible." With a slow, shaky breath you continued your speech. "I've come to terms I might never feel whole again."

The elevator doors slid open. You followed Steve to the yard where they set up the time machine.

"I'll be broken when you're gone, but I won't hold you back if it's wrong."

"Steve, there you are! Let's go-"

"In a minute, Sam." Steve's eyes never left you, remaining soft and caring. "We can go back inside if you want." He ran his thumbs over your cheeks, ridding them of tears only to be instantly replaced. You've always hated crying in front of people.

"I don't care what people say." You shook your head, ignoring the potential pitying looks you could receive for crying in front of others. Another deep breath, and you continued. "You know I won't force you to stay."

It was your turn to wipe tears from Steve's face.

"If you leave, I'll be okay. Just promise that you won't forget me babe."

"I could never-" He cut in again only to stop when you gave him a pleading look.

"I understand if leaving is what you have to do. I don't want you to go, but I'll be okay, eventually." You let out a watery chuckle, wiping your eyes again.

"Y/N, I never meant for-"

"Steve, you ready?" Sam interrupted again.

"It's fine. You can go." You did your best to hold back any lingering tears. You had to physically turn Steve around yourself and push him towards the machine.

"Y/N, please, I can't-"

"Steve, they're waiting for you. It's okay, I promise." He finally started to walk away only to pause when you called out one more thing. "Oh, Steve?"

"Yeah?" He wore a solemn smile.

"I'll love you always."

You watched as he listened to Banner's instructions and bid farewell to Sam and Bucky. The bitter part of you wondered if Sam knew.

A strangled sob left your mouth as soon as Steve disappeared. All three men standing around the machine looked your way, Sam and Bucky running toward you to help.

"He should be back any second. It's fine!" Sam desperately tried to console you, but you knew it wouldn't work.

"Y/N. Y/N! Listen to me. Did Steve talk to you?" Bucky asked, ignoring Sam's bewildered expression.

You nodded pitifully.

"Did he explain-" You cut him off.

"He- he didn't ha-have time.: You stuttered as you tried desperately to gulp in air through the tears. "I did most of the talking. I needed him to know it was okay."

"To know what was okay?" Sam asked, still clearly confused.

The thought of explaining it only broke you down more. You would have fallen to the ground if not for Bucky catching you. Your body leaned into his.

"Doll..." Bucky shook his head. "You should have let him explain."

You choked on another sob just thinking about it.

"Shh, it's okay. You'll be okay." Bucky whispered in your ear, ignoring Sam's confused glares.

"Y/N..." The sound of Steve's voice echoed in your ears causing another painful sob to jolt through your body.

"Baby, please look at me."

You genuinely thought you were hallucinating when you opened your eyes to see Steve towering over you.

"Steve?" Your voice was barely a whisper.

"It's me, I'm here." He gently took you from Bucky's arms, cradling you close to him but leaning his head far enough away for you to look into your eyes.

"You came back..." Your tears slowed, gently falling down your cheeks as you stared at him wide-eyed.

"I was never planning to leave." He spoke while gently stroking your hair.

"B-but, you were talking to Bucky about going back?" Your tears gave way to confusion as you glanced between him and Bucky.

"Just to say goodbye." He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, breathing in your scent. "I just thought she deserved a real goodbye."

New tears pooled in your eyes as you took in his words. "So, you never wanted to leave me?"

"I could never, and would never, leave you. I love you so much. I just wish I knew why you were holed up in your room sooner." He smiled at you, the same adoring smile he gave you the first time you met.

"I love you too. Always." You leaned into his embrace, relishing in the touch you thought you'd lost forever. He whispered his reply, clinging to you just as much as you were to him.

"Always."

a/n: today I discovered I am truly incapable of writing a sad ending. I just like the idea of escaping to a reality where Steve would never abandon me.

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@strawberryspence

@sebastnstn

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers angst #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fluff

457 notes · View notes

fandompride101 · 3 years

Text

Girls Gone Wild

Raven's POV:

"Exit on the third floor. Take a left!" Kori's voice guided me on the intercom. I followed her directions and took a sharp left. I ran down the long hallway, the lights flickering as I went. "The door on your right!"

I swung open the door and chased down the stairs as fast as I could. I could feel it though. This place was about to blow and I was still in it. I couldn't portal because I didn't have the strength, but I ran with all my might.

I reached the first floor of the building, pushing the door open with all my strength. The light from outside blinded me for a few seconds, but I ran anyway. I got past a building and sunk into the alleyway.

There was a loud explosion.

I sank to the ground, keeping my back against the cold building. I took a few seconds to breathe and get my head on straight.

"Rachel!" Kori's voice cried out in panic as she searched for me. "Rachel!"

"I'm over here, Kori," I said weakly.

She rushed over to me and helped me to my feet. I put my arms around her for support as the tall Tamaran helped me over to the Titan car. Once we got close enough to the car, I let her go and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Kori, the next time you ask to have a girl time..." I turned to look at her as she started the car. "Remind me not to go." I sank into my seat and clutched my aching side. Even though it was already healing, I was so weak that it would take time for this bruise to heal.

Kori chuckled and shook her head, as she started our drive home.

Kori had begged me yesterday to go for a girl's day out. She had in shopping and spas in mind, not almost dying. I had said yes on a whim. I really don't get to spend much time with other girls and honestly, I didn't have anything better to do.

What started off with eating lunch on a nice pear, ended up being a chase down with some bad guys that robbed a bank. They ran from the bank to some wear-house, where we followed and caught them. Of course, they bombed the place and a few of them got away.

"Dick will not be very pleased." Kori shook her head. "He had told me not to go on any calls today and enjoy the day with you."

"Hey, we had fun." I smile. "You kicking that ogre of a guy's butt was pretty awesome."

"And you are getting quite good at hand-to-hand combat, Raven." She smiled at me. "You are right, it was a pretty good day."

"But next time we should stay in and do a movie night," I tell her, being completely serious. Today had been a close call and had drained me more than I cared to admit.

"You are right." Kori gave a tired smile. "When we get home how about we watch movies. I can get the guys on patrol for the night."

I forgot I was even on patrol tonight.

"That would be great, but I might fall asleep during the movie." I chuckled. As I did that my side started to ache more so I grasped it with both hands. "And maybe some ice tonight?"

"How bad was it?" She gave a concerned look.

The ogre man had kicked me in the ribs and gave me a bad bruise. I am sure it is already purple by now. After the ogre did that, Kori came in like a badass and kicked his butt.

"I'll be fine," I said, trying not to worry her. "All I need is rest."

She nodded and pulled into the drive of the Titan Tower. She opened the garage door and parked the car. When the car had stopped, I slowly climbed out of the car, holding my side. I let my cap fall over me, hiding my arms.

Kori and I walked into the tower together. When we stepped into the living room, the TV was on and showed us fighting on the screen. Garth and Jaime were commenting on something before they turned and saw us.

"Kori, Raven!" They jumped to their feet.

"You're on TV." Garth pointed to the screen.

"You did good work," Jaime commented.

"Where are the others?" Kori ignored their looks. I did the same.

"Dick and Damian are having a training session." Garth sat back down. "I am pretty sure one of them has killed the other by now."

"I bet Damian killed Dick." Jaime joked.

"Boys, have you don't your homework?" Kori eyed them.

The boys stood up and slumped out of the room. I followed Kori to the training room.

"If they have been in here the whole time, there is a chance they haven't heard." Kori turned to me. "Let me explain everything."

I nodded and followed her in.

Right away my eyes caught Damian slash at Dick's feet. Dick jumped up and narrowly missed Damian's sword. Dick countered with his bow staff, hitting Damian's side with it. Damian hissed in pain and then swiped the feet out from under Dick.

"Do you yield?" Damian said with his sword to Dick's neck.

"Yes." Dick coughed and sat up. Damian put away his sword and offered his hand out to Dick for help. The brother took it and stood to his feet.

Both of them seemed to notice us standing there.

"Ladies." Damian nodded to us.

"Hello." Kori stepped forward. "I want to explain before you hear it on the news."

Both of the boys looked at Kori. "What?" They both asked. Dick was confused and Damiana was a tad annoyed.

"Well, you see..." She turned to me. "We were going out to eat when we heard of a bank robbery."

"You didn't go... right?" Dick stepped forward, looking right at Kori.

"Well..." Kori backed away.

"We went," I confirmed. "The bank robbers ran from the bank to a warehouse, where we caught up to them," I explained to Dick. "We took care of it."

"Took care of it?" Damian said, pulling up something on his tablet that he had grabbed without me noticing. "It blew up!" He handed the tablet to Dick. Dick started reading.

I was glad for my cap now. I knew that if I had shown any of the guys that one of us got hurt, we wouldn't have heard the end of it. I stood up taller, trying to hide my injury. I wasn't going to let them know.

"We hadn't known it was more than just bank robbers," Kori argued.

"And you didn't call for help?" Dick said, handing back the tablet.

"We didn't have time." Said Kori.

Damian didn't say anything. I turned to look at him while Kori and Dick squabbled. Damian's eyes were on me as if he was searching for something. For some reason his eyes made me feel naked and exposed. I looked away.

"It says here one of the girls was injured." Damian interrupted Kori and Dick.

Dick looked at Kori and then at me. I looked at Kori, pleading with her not to say anything. She understood.

"It was a lie," Kori said confidently.

Damian looked at her. I prayed that she wouldn't crack.

"Well then, if no one got hurt, why does Raven have her cloak on?" Damian didn't turn from Kori.

"I am fine," I say. I knew to sell this lie I had to show him, so I opened my cloak and held myself up, telling my hands not to reach for my side. When Damian seemed satisfied, I put the cloak back around me.

"Look, it was a small brawl and everything is fine now," I assured them. "We just came here to see if you guys would allow me off patrol tonight. I am beet."

Dick stood up straight and looked between Kori and me. After a second he nodded. "Fine. I'll fill in for you tonight."

"Thank you, Dick." Kori smiled.

He turned to her. "I am still not happy neither one of you saw the need to call us."

"We handled it," I told him.

"The building was destroyed." Damian stepped towards me. "If one of you had been in there, then this would be a whole different conversation."

If only I told him right there that I only escaped by seconds. I could just see his whole head-turning red and steam coming out of his ears. But I won't tell him. I mean what he doesn't know won't kill him.

Shortly after that, Kori and I went up to our rooms and changed into something more comfortable. I was already gaining my strength back, so I teleported downstairs and snuck up a cooler of ice.

Kori and I went to her room and watched The Office. Kori had shown me this show a while back, so now when we have girl bonding time, we usually watch it in silence. Kori and I shared the ice and nibbled on snacks that she hid up in her room.

"Damian was very angry when he read that someone had gotten hurt today." She spoke while the show changed to another episode.

"He did?" I tried to focus on the intro of the episode.

"It was almost as if he cared one of us had gotten hurt?" She said in an almost suggestive tone.

I looked at her, and she was smiling back at me. "I don't think..." I didn't know how to play it off. Her gaze on me made me turn red with embarrassment. "He was just angry, there is nothing to it."

"Hmmm." She said and turned back to the episode.

I tried to focus on the show, but my face was still red. The way she made it sound almost like Damian cared, but that can't really be. It was just an illusion.

We spent the rest of the night watching shows and soon fell asleep. I woke up around one in the morning and teleported to my bedroom for the rest of the night. I was already feeling better, but when I looked the bruise was still on my skin. The bad thing about bruises that even when my body heals, the bruising color stays on my skin for a while.

******

The Next morning I got up like normal and took a shower. I didn't really feel up to an early morning training, so I decided to go on a walk around the grounds. It was a lovely morning with the birds calling and no one in sight.

I was past the gate before I even realized it. I turned back to look at the giant 'T' in the sky. Titan Tower has been my home for many years now and looking back now, I was lucky to have Zatanna watching over me when I came to earth.

Zatanna was the first person to show me kindness when I came here. She was the one who saw the good in me and got me on the Titans. I owed her so much.

"Rachel?" A voice spoke out from behind me.

I turned and saw Damian in his workout gear. He lowered his sword that he was apparently training with and stepped towards me. I stepped forward, closing in the distance between us.

"Damian." I nodded to him.

"What are you doing out here?" He put his sword into his belt.

"I could ask you the same." I nodded to the sword.

"I was training." He stood straight. "Now you."

"I am going on a walk." I stood straight to mimic him.

He nodded in understanding. I turned back, thinking the interrogation was over. I heard his footsteps behind me before I saw him. He was soon walking my pace by my side.

"What are you doing?" I gave him a sideways glance.

"I am walking with you." He said, looking straight forward.

"Okay." I nodded and continued on my path.

"Where are we going?" He said after a few minutes of silence.

"Not sure," I say, brushing my hands across a bush on the path. It was the perfect time of year where the trees were turning green and it wasn't yet too hot out.

He just nodded and we continued on our walk. Honestly, it was nice to have him walking next to me, and even though we weren't talking, it wasn't boring. If it was anyone else like Garth or Jaime, it would be a long and annoying walk, but with Damian I was fine.

"What are you thinking about?" Damian turned to look at me.

"Nothing." I shrug.

"So are you going to tell me the truth about yesterday's events?" He gave an all-knowing look. I tried to play it off.

"I am not sure what you are talking about." I turn so I am not facing him.

"Raven, you are quite good at hiding things and lying, but you should know by now that I can read you. I have been trained by both the League of Assassins and my father. I know you're lying." He grabbed my arm and stopped me from walking anymore.

"Fine." I turned to him. "There was a hick-up and someone got away," I say, trying to avert his attention from what he was surely asking.

"Someone got away?" He stepped back.

"Kori and I have contacted the Justice League," I inform him.

"If this was a normal bank robber there would be no need for the Justice League to be involved." He looked me right in the eyes with his stern emerald eyes. "What are you not telling me?"

"Nothing." I lie.

"Rachel."

"Fine, it was a bit bigger of a situation that we ran into," I tell him. "It wasn't just a normal robbery and to our knowledge, they were working for someone high up than our pay grade, so we handed it over."

"How much high up of a pay grade?"

"Lex Luther," I tell him. "I mean it's a guess, but that is who Kori and I believe it to be."

"What makes you think that?" He tilted his head to look at me. He was adorable like this. Oh shut up mind!

"There were just a few boxes and things there that made us believe Lex had funded that place." I shrug.

"What was inside the boxes?"

"Weapons." I turn away. "As I said it was more than we bargained for."

"And you didn't call because..." He sounded annoyed.

"There was no time." I turned to him. "Look, I know you don't like that we stumbled on this for some reason, but it all happened so fast! There was no time to call for help."

He looked at me as if trying to see if I was hiding anything else from him. I huffed and turned back to the path and started walking. Of course, he followed.

It was a while before he spoke up again.

"And you got hurt?" He said, taking me away from my thoughts. I didn't answer him. "Look, I saw how you held yourself. Even with your cape, I could tell something was off in your walking."

"I was hit by an ogre," I say not looking at him. "It doesn't matter now because I have rested and it has healed."

"Even the skin coloration?" He asked.

How did he know that? I haven't ever told anyone that I heal but the bruising color doesn't go away. I mean a select people know, but none of them on the Titans. HE READ MY FILE!

"Your snooping now!" I turned to look at him, stopping him in his tracks.

"I need to know about everyone's weaknesses and strengths on the team. You should too if you were smart." His words cut through me.

I huffed and started fast walking away. Damian was close on my trail, following me every step. The faster I walk, the faster he did. When I knew I couldn't outrun him, I knew I had to portal.

I stopped dead in my tracks and back kicked Damian in the chest. He stumbled back.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos" I conjured the portal and stepped through, letting it close behind me. I was fuming now. How dare he impose on all of our privacy and then accuse us of not being smart to do the same.

I was in my room, pacing out my anger. I knew this was silly of me to let this get to me, but I couldn't help it. How dare he call me dumb! He had no right to those files. They were only for Kori and any of the Justice League members.

Did Kori give him the files?

No, she wouldn't have let that happen. She would have stopped Damian if she ever found out. Damian had to have gotten the passwords and stuff from his father. He was insufferable!

"Raven?" Kori's soft voice took me out of my thoughts.

I walked over and opened the door to find Kori with a concerned look on her face. I let her in and closed the door behind her.

"I heard your footsteps in the hall. Are you alright?" She asked me.

"No," I mumbled in anger.

"What happened?" She put a calming arm on my shoulder.

"Damian has access to all the files on every Titan." I clench my fists together. "He has been reading on all of us."

"He can't do that. He doesn't have the codes." She tells me.

"He does too. He read up on all of us." I look her in the eyes. "Those files have private things that I haven't told anyone. He doesn't have any right to read those."

She studied my face. "Look, I will talk to Batman." He gave me an encouraging smile. "But if he has read up on you, I think it only fair to read up on him."

"What?"

"Don't tell Dick, but on Tamaran, it is only fair that if someone has a one-up on you, that you even the playing fields." She smiled at me. "If you wish, I can give you Damian's file."

"Really?" I wasn't sure if that is what I wanted, but I was interesting.

"Yes, but you can't tell anyone I gave it to you." She nodded. "I will give you the file after breakfast if you wish."

I nodded.

She left the room, giving me one last encouraging smile. When I closed the door I didn't know if I felt any better. I knew that looking at the files would make us even, but it would also be something that my father would have wanted.

There was another knock at the door. I opened it a crack to see if Kori had forgotten something, but it wasn't her.

"I am sorry." He said, pushing the door open wide enough for him to step in.

"Come on in," I said sarcastically, closing the door.

"Look, what I said... I didn't mean it like that." He walked over to my bookshelf and started to look at the collection of books I had created over the years.

"Damian, please go," I asked him.

"Look, I am sorry. I was angry. I am not sure why, but I said those things from anger." He turned his head to look at me.

"So it's not true. You haven't read all the Titan's files?" I questioned.

"No, I have." He nodded. "But you are not dumb for not looking at them yourself."

"Damian, those files are only for the Justice League, they are not for you!" I came closer to him, giving him a piece of my mind. "There are things that some teammates don't need to know about each other!"

"That is not what I was raised to believe." He said a matter of factly.

"I don't care if you were raised to kiss cows!" I point at him in the chest. "You making that choice to invade our privacy is not 'cool' and very unwelcome."

"I am sorry..." He began.

"Save it!" I held up my hand, stopping him. "I don't want to hear it. You are just like my father and invading personal space. If I wanted you to know something, I would have told you!"

I stepped back.

He stepped towards me. "That is not my intention."

I turned so I didn't have to look at him. I heard him sigh in frustration at me.

"Look, I am sorry. I did it a long time ago when I first join the Titans. I haven't looked at them since. I do have picture memory, so I apologize, but I have changed from the boy I was when I first came." I felt his hand on my shoulder.

I knew I was supposed to be anger at him and push away his touch, but his hand felt warm and welcome. I leaned into his touch for a moment before I realized what I had just done.

I turned to look at him, and our eyes met.

"Raven, I am sorry." He bent down so our eyes were at the same height. "I only brought it up today because I wanted you to admit you were hurt, but I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I am not so angry about that as... mortified," I admitted.

"Mortified?"

"You read my files. The things on there... They are..." I looked away. "My father was ruthless, and what's on those files is proof that I am weak."

"Weak?" He pulled my head up so my eyes met his. "No, Raven, when I read those files I was amazed by your strength. You stood up to your father even after all the things he had done to you. You could have easily been his pawn all your life, but you changed that."

"No..." I began to protest.

"Raven, when I first came on the Teen Titans, the first real call was against your father and the entire Justice League. You stood firm and faced him." His eyes were hopeful. "You are not weak and those files prove that."

"They still have all those horrible things I had done before I took the leap to come here." I protest again.

"Stop it!" He held onto my face, firm. "You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. I don't care what the file says."

I sigh and lean my face into his hands. He is strong and holds me, and a feeling of safety comes over me. When I open my eyes again I give a small smile, which he returns.

"Breakfast?" I ask, pulling out of his hands.

"Yes." He nods and follows me out the door. When we get into the kitchen we sit down and eat our meals in silence. Garth and Jaime are having a fight over who is the best hero to fight in the dead of winter. I tune them out and eat my cereal.

Kori comes in sometime later with a plain folder. She passes it to me when she sits beside me. I take it and hind it under the table. There was no need for Damian to find out about this folder now.

I ate the rest of breakfast in silence and when I am finished, I head up to my room with the folder. When I get inside I look down at the cover of the folder. I don't really want to look at this now, but something is telling me to hold on to it.

I put it in the top of my desk drawer and put it out of my mind. Damian might have looked at everyone else folders, but I don't want to be like my father and read it for vengeance. I don't need to.

*********************************

Bonus (This takes place in the future of this same storyline)

I teleport into my room, exhausted from the workout Dick put me through. When I got into my room, there was a certain green-eyed boy in my room. I bushed my hand on his shoulder and went to my dresser for my clothes.

I pulled out some PJs and turned to Damian, who had yet to acknowledge me.

"Damian?" I stepped closer to him, looking over his shoulder to see what he was looking at. He had a yellow folder in his hands. Oh shit!

"What's this?" He turned up to look at me.

"Um..." I was at a loss for words.

"This is my file." He stood up and looked at me. I was mortified.

"Yes," I said, not able to look him in the eyes.

"Why do you have my file?" He questioned. "How did you get this?"

"Well, um..." I glanced up at him. "Kori might have given it to me when we had that fight a while back about you reading my file."

"That was like three months ago." He looked down at the folder in his hands. "You read this three months ago?"

"No." I look up at him. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. "I haven't read it. I didn't want to."

"Why didn't you?" He looked surprised.

"It would be something my father would have done." I didn't want to hold anything back from him. "I kept it for god knows why, but I promise I didn't read it."

He looked at me in silence for a minute, debating something. Probably to yell at me or kill me. Damian had every right to be angry, he did, but I hadn't even thought about the folder in so long, and I was already so tired.

"Alright." His voice pulled me from my downward spiral.

"Alright?" I asked.

He handed me the file. "You were quite angry about me reading your file. And I don't want to hold anything back from you. You may read my file."

I looked down at the folder and up to him. "What?"

"Raven, I don't want to hide anything from you. I like you, and if you would like, you may read this file. I will answer any questions you may have." He nodded and walked over to the bed, laying down.

I walked over and looked down at him. He looked relax.

"Why?" I didn't understand.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him. "I like you, Rachel Roth. I don't care if you know what is in that file. I want to be honest with you." He pulled me for a kiss.

When our lips touched it was like our first kiss all over again. I had been with this boy for a few months but lived with him for years and somehow this boy still managed to sweep me off my feet and surprise me.

I loved him.

#damian #Damian Wayne #Teen Titans #teentitans #Robin x Raven #raven x damian #damirae #raven roth #damian x raven #raven #robin #justiceleague #DC comics #DC animated universe #dc animated movie universe

98 notes · View notes

writing-in-lesbian · 3 years

Text

Salvation in Disguise

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff / Female reader (platonic) Tags: angst, cursing words, minor assumed violence, mentions of homophobia, legal age gap. Translations: pozhaluysta = please. Synopsis: When Wanda is leaving Westview, all its habitants felt relieved, left to their own devices to rebuild their old lives and to never heard from Wanda again. Except for you. You were left with an important decision. Her spell and control over your family gave you an escape from their control and mistreats towards you. So when she's driving away, you had a few minutes to save your life.

You were at the park having a rare time for yourself. Your parents allowed you to go and walk around before you have to go back for lunch. A rare occasion indeed, since you were 99% of your time with your parents and siblings, despite being legally out of age and with a well-paid job.

For some reason, that seems normal to all your neighbors, living at your parent's house feels normal, but to you, there’s something else. You can’t explain it but you feel something is not quite right, but since you have so much fun when you’re with them you don’t question the nagging feeling in the back of your head.

With the day off, you decided to take on Agnes' advice and try that coffee shop in front of the park. Has it always been here? You can’t remember seeing it before, but with so many things happening lately and your constant daydreaming you think it might have been renovated and you never noticed.

You ordered the special of the day a “dirty chai” (which is just a chai latte with an espresso shot) and an integral muffin (balance) before going back to the park to do your favorite activity: people watching.

Choosing your favorite bench in front of the fountain, you enjoy your small snack hoping to see at least from afar your favorite person in the whole town. Wanda Maximoff.

You don’t remember when they moved here, maybe you never paid any attention to the people around your hood, but when it came to her? It was unavoidable not to. You formed a good relationship after the twins were born, helping her babysit for a few days after Monica went back to her hometown. The boys grew so fast (almost in the blink of an eye) but they were your favorite ones to watch. You even like Vision (was it an odd name? Sure) despite he being the one married to your crush.

You were so engrossed and lost in your thoughts you don’t notice Wanda running into the park. It’s not until you heard a loud crash you turn your eyes to the sky and see it.

Agnes.

Floating up there in the sky and throwing what it seems flashes of lights.

And Wanda. Beautiful and innocent Wanda.

Floating as well.

You see a purple light go straight to her.

You drop your muffin and get up from the bench so fast. “WANDA WATCH OUT!”

You’re not sure if she heard you but before you can yell at her again that same light hits you square on the chest, sending you a few meters away and impacting your body against a lamp post. Everything goes black.

… … …

”I’m not a witch. I don’t cast spells. No one taught me magic”

“Your powers exceed that of the Sorcerer Supreme. It’s your destiny to destroy the world” … … …

You hear a lot of commotion, you grunt and try to open your eyes. Everything is dark, a red mist covering the sky. You desperately look around for Wanda. You have a horrible headache, it’s as if something trapped in your mind is trying to get free. You try to get up but your body refuses, managing only to sit up.

You hear Agnes's voice up above you and when you look up at the sky, Wanda is there, surrounded by the red mist. It looks as if it's coming out of her. Her previous red hoodie is now a red top, on her forehead, there’s a tiara.

Standing there open-mouthed you can’t help but appreciate her beauty and strength. Even Agnes (did she call her Agatha?) Is it a weird kind of purple robe? You hear the twins and Monica around you, you even saw a flash of something red and white flaying on the other side of the park but you don’t have eyes for anyone else but Wanda.

A big explosion surrounds you and the park. And then everything goes black again, but you’re conscious this time. You know you should go back home, you’re not sure what’s happening but you’ll probably be safer at home.

There’s this nagging feeling again inside your head. At this point, it might explode from the pain. Migraines are nothing compared to this, but you can’t move. You are glued to your spot. You can’t stop outlook out for Wanda.

Suddenly, the sun comes out again (did it ever went down) and everything is bright. You see Monica in a black and white uniform in front of the twins, Vision s there as well but he’s….red? (You. Might have hit your head harder than you expect it. Westview was known for weird shit happening but this is extreme).

When you see Wanda again, you see her talking to Agnes, and right before your eyes, her clothes change, her angry and scared voice goes back to being the overly sweet lady you once knew. You stand up and run back home despite your mind screaming not to.

// // //

It’s past midnight when you feel it. You were awakened by this flash of light bringing you back from dreamland gasping for air.

Your mind is racing 3000 miles a second. Memories of your life coming up to you.

Being yelled at, hit and slapped, punished by the person’s that should love you no matter what just for loving another girl.

Been kept against your own will at the house.

The constant verbal and physical abuse.

The loneliness of being taken far away from your friends and your ex-girlfriend and going to live in the middle of nowhere town when you were 16. A town so small no one would even think about looking out for you here.

The hopelessness of not being able to run away because your father was a retired high-rank government officer.

You check your thighs and wrists. The fading scars are there. The ones where you cut to numb the paint make you forget and maybe the final one that takes you out of this realm.

You remember one day being up in your room crying yourself to sleep when your headaches started. You were no stranger to migraines, but this was worse, so bad you wanted to vomit.

You ran to your bathroom. Next thing you know, you were having family dinners and going on Sunday family trips.

And you knew everything was related to Wanda. Things changed when she came to town.

Wanda, the park, Agnes (guess is Agatha know). You suddenly put 2 and 2 together.

Wanda.

You need to see her.

You know you need to run to her. She might be your salvation.

You think you probably have a few hours before everyone is starting to get up and getting their memories, but the noise coming from your parent's rooms tells you it’s not that much.

Throwing a few changes of clothes, the few money you had saved from your babysitting days, you take your bag and slowly and quietly make your way downstairs. If the clock is right is almost 3 am.

You reach the main floor when the door of your parent's rooms cracks. You hold your breath, praying to someone they don’t notice you. The bathroom door closes a few seconds later. You make your way to the living room, only noticing the one picture is there. You stand there, behind your parents and where they used to be your siblings, you see there’s nothing there. It was just part of whatever Wanda created for you.

You take the opportunity and open the living room window and jump through it. The main and back doors are locked at night and only your father has the key. One night when he left you outside all night after getting late 3 minutes after your curfew, you made sure to break the lock on the leaving room window in case of an emergency. They never opened it so never noticed it.

You see the bathroom light is still on. You count to ten before sprinting toward the driveway and towards Wanda’s house, hoping to find her. At this point, you’ll be happy to find Agatha or even Monica.

Before you arrive at her house you stop. You don’t even know if your theory is correct but at this point of your life, you’re ready to risk it.

You get there and look for her house. All you see is an empty lot.

No house, no construction, not even the reminiscent of anything. You start to panic.

“No, no, no, no”

Your breath gets shallow and your eyes are burning from your tears. You look frantically trying so desperately to find a sign of her. Anything but there’s nothing.

“You shouldn’t be here… Y/N”

Her thick accent makes you turn so fast your neck hurts.

“Wanda” you say with relief in your voice. She’s taken aback, clearly not expecting it. Her eyes are swollen and her red outfit is nowhere to be seen. Instead, she’s wearing a black hoodie.

You take a step towards her but she takes one back. You stop.

“What are you doing here?”

“I…”

You don’t know. You just wanted to see her. The night air is colder or maybe is just your nerves. You hug yourself in order to get some warmth into your body. Your pj’s aren’t exactly the warmest ones.

She sees this and conjures a thick jacket around you. When you say nothing she continues putting some bags into her car. A black and heavy-looking bag pack at her shoulders.

“You’re leaving?”

“I don’t think I’m welcoming here anymore Y/N. You should go home”

It’s the panic of not seeing her again, of her leaving you that has you getting closer to her and taking her wrist, stopping whatever task she was doing.

“Take me with you”

“What?” Her voice is barely a whisper but in the silence of the night is so loud she might be well yelling at you.

“Take me whit you Wanda… please”

You don’t beg. Never. Not after learning at a young age it only brought more problems, your father never stopped if you begged, it just enraged him more, so you learn to never beg, for anything.

She sees your hand on her wrist and feels the emotions swilling around you. She dares not to look at your mind but your thoughts are so loud she can’t help to see half of the abuse you have suffered.

A small gasp leaves her lips.

“Why do you want to go with me? I’m a monster. You saw it yourself”

“You’re not a monster. Not to me”

She’s still watching your hand. Your voice is just a whisper.

“I trapped you here”

“You freed me”

“I controlled your mind!”

“You saved me!”

“You... I… what?” She’s speechless, her nose scrunched in this little way you always thought cute.

“I don’t know the extend of what happened or how it happened, All I know is that my life was hell, literal hell and then you came into Westview and…”

“I should never have done what I did Y/N. You should be afraid of me”

“I’m not”

“Well you should”

You can tell she’s getting exasperated. Her eyes flashing red.

“Wanda… pozhaluysta”

It’s that little world in her native langue that has her seeing you for the first time this night. She sees your eyes and sees all the pain and anguish you have. She sees the same reflected in her eyes.

A plea in your eyes. You don’t see her as a monster or the Scarlet Witch. When you see her, she can see hope in your eyes.

She joined the Avengers and fought at their side to save people. The recent events after Thanos sidetracked her and blinded her. She was grieving and in pain… and did things she never thought of doing. Was she really what Hydra, Ultron, Agatha, and a lot of people said she was? Someone to be afraid of?

But you were here and as much as she just wants to grieve and is suffering, she has the chance again of being a hero. To make the effort and fight for once she once fought, to be worthy again, to make Vision sacrifice worth, to fight for the love she once felt.

“Okey”

The smile you give her is prof enough she can start again.

When Wanda left Westview and all its habitants, they felt relieved, left to their own devices to rebuild their old lives and to never heard from her again. Except for you.

You were leaving with her, escaping from the real prison you lived before she came into your life and offered you your salvation in disguise.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x female reader #marvel #angs #cross posted on AO3 #fanfic #AO3 fanfic

95 notes · View notes

marsbutterfly · 3 years

Text

Headcanon: Caring For A Sick S/O

Note: Seeing as I am sick as hell, I decided to go ahead and write some headcanons about how Hanji and Annie would take care of a sick s/o

Hanji Zoe

- As soon as you tell Hanji your throat feels a little scratchy, she immediately hands you cough drops and orange juice in hopes to prevent you getting sick.

- But when inevitably you get sick, she takes the day off from work to take care of you. Even if it isn’t bad at all.

- After years of being friends with Levi, she has gotten quite good at making tea. She even memorized the exact amount of honey you like in your ginger tea.

- She can’t stay away, even if it means she’ll get sick too. She’s always giving you little kisses and sharing a straw with you.

- At the point where you run out of tissues, Hanji runs to the store immediately to buy some more. She makes sure to grab the kind that won’t irritate your nose.

- She also gets a bunch of healthy snacks and more cold medicine so she will only have to leave you alone at the house once.

- She does buy a couple bars of your favorite chocolate for when you are completely healed.

- When it comes the time for you to take a shower, you don’t need her help yet she sits by the bathroom door the entire time in case you change your mind.

- In the end, you do need her help to dry yourself off and she gladly helps.

- You sniffle a lot, so she constantly makes sure that you are just sick and not crying.

- Even if you don’t want to cuddle in the hopes of not getting her sick, she completely ignores you and wraps a blanket around you while laying her head on your shoulder.

- She makes sure you have plenty of water at all times, even when you tell her it hurts when you have to get up to pee.

- On her phone, there’s an alarm for every single pill you need to take so she can make sure you won’t miss a dose.

- She spends most of her day off cuddling you and nursing you back to health and she does so over the next week, before work and once she gets home.

- When she’s not with you, she makes sure you text her every hour with updates and she still send you little messages about your pills and reminders that she loves you.

- You wake up one day, no pain, no congestion, you’re finally ok. So you rush downstairs to tell Hanji, who’s sitting on the couch watching tv.

- From behind her, you wrap your arms around her neck. She grunts and touches your arm gently and you realize she’s now the sick one.

- “I told you all those kisses were going to make you sick!

“Nah, it was worth it.”

Annie Leonhardt

- Two days before you even start feeling sick, Annie lets you know you’re gonna get a cold. Intrigued, you look at her with a puzzled expression and her only response is: I can tell.

- And just like that, you feel your nose getting stuffy and your throat getting sore. You sigh, putting down your book and going out in the garden in search of the blonde girl.

- She holds a basket close to her body while picking up a few ginger plants to make you some tea, humming a quiet melody to herself.

- Once she notices your presence, she stands up with a smirk on her lips.

- “So, was I right?” She asks, knowing damn well the answer. You nod and, instead of a sigh, you cough.

- Annie touches your hand lightly and pulls you inside the house, making sure her movements are gentle.

- She sits you on the couch and places a blanket on your lap, a pile of pillows behind your back.

- “Just pet the cats or something while I make you tea.” She says before rushing to the kitchen.

- So you just sit there, petting one of the many cats in the house as you hear a soothing melody coming from the radio in the kitchen, quickly recognizing it as the one she was humming earlier.

- You hear the water boiling in the teapot and a few seconds later, Annie comes back.

- She holds two cups and a few homemade cookies you baked together the other day.

- Once you have the teacup in hand, she pulls your blanket above her legs as she snuggles her head on your shoulder.

- You sit in silence, appreciating the delicious tea made out of the gingers you grew in your own garden.

- She takes care of you, always making sure you have water, tissues and medicine. She doesn’t leave your side until you are fully healed.

- “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“I will always take care of you. But there’s one thing.”

“What?”

“I’m gonna get sick in two days.”

305 notes · View notes

saturnsummer · 3 years

Text

helpless.

han joon hwi does all he can to save kang sol a. kang sol a, for the first time, realises she’s not alone.

ao3 link

notes: this has been manifesting in me ever since i saw the scene of sol a fainting. i’m sorry it’s so long, but i hope the law school fans like it! it’s my first time, but i’m open to request and improvements. do share with your fellow solhwi fans if you like it! any grammar mistakes and all will be taken fully responsible by me.

edit: this is written by @inactiverat , which is MY secondary account. i did not copy this from someone else. both accounts belong to ME. i am republishing this on my primary blog to better manage.

words: 4130 words.

it’s been a terrible day for sol.

forget about a terrible day, it has been a week of horror.

she can’t remember the last time she laid her head on the pillow of her clean sheets and mattress. with her semester test coming on friday, she has spent the entire weekend cramming for her test. she has opted to sleep at her desk for no more than 10 minutes at a time. her eyes sting from the roll-on muscle relief ointment that she rolls on every few hours under her eyes. her head pounds and the only things she has eaten are ramyeon and black coffee. (no sugar, extra shots.)

sol sighs as she fixes another highlighter in her top bun. she’s been staring at the same question for hours. she looks over her desk, hoping to find peace by seeing a sleeping sol b, but only remembers that she went home. her tiger mom’s orders, since “she shouldn’t study with her roommate, who is at the bottom of the cohort.”

sol visibly frowned as she thought of that sentence. she doesn't need to be reminded every minute and second of her life that she’s the worst. that whenever she fails a test, the smarty pants are cheering due to the bell curve. that she barely scrapes through every class. that she blubbers and mutters answers like an idiot in every lecture.

that’s why she works so hard. to show that she doesn't need money or connections to succeed in this school. that a single parented girl, making enough to get by, holding a part time job can be like the rest. for her mom, she tolerated years of violent abuse, yet still being so strong for her children. for dan, who she so desperately misses and wants to find, even though she knows dan may never want to see her. for byeol, the reason why she decided to study law; the only human she loves in this lawless world.

sol knows she’s pushing herself too hard. yeseul made an effort to remind her to sleep via text. bokgi teased her once during a study group after mentioning she looks like a disheveled panda. even professor kim pulled her out of lecture to give her a talk to remind her to eat.

but joon hwi hasn't.

she internally scoffs. she doesn’t expect him to. (what does a second round judicial exam passer want to know about the worst student?) and maybe, she doesn't want him to. she wants to show him she can do it on her own. she can’t count the number of times he helped her with her grades and cases. studying alone without help was the smallest thing she can do to show him her independence.

thus, she found every moment to stay away. well, from him, in particular. she only came to lectures on time, sat at the back (as opposed to next to him) and left immediately. she returns to her dorm to study (ditching study groups with him in it) and only leaves in the odd hours to get drinks and food when she’s absolutely starving. she hears the buzzes and rings from yeseul and joonhwi, but only smiles when they ask about her inactivity. (“it was dead. i must have forgotten to charge it again.”)

she sighs in frustration and stands from her chair, grabbing her phone and keys out to the pantry area. she needed more caffeine, if she was going to survive this night.

what she doesn't expect to see, is han joon hwi, devouring his late night snack of ramyeon at the table. the shuffling of her furry slippers raises his head from his precious bowl.

“you’re still up?” he asks.

it’s too late to turn around and pretend she didn’t see him. so instead, sol just nods silently as opposed to her defensive remarks. joon hwi stops slurping his noodles and sets the bowl aside. preparing to walk to the staircase, his next question freezes sol in her steps.

“why have you been avoiding me?”

his voice is gentle and nowhere near angry. but concerned and fearful, as if he’s done something wrong to upset her. for a moment, sol feels like she’s in her first lecture with professor yang and is left speechless. (only now, there is no where to hide.)

joon hwi wasn’t blind to her actions. he noticed her absence when she didn’t sit next to him in lectures. he noticed that whenever he was there for a study group session, she wouldn’t; but when he would ask the others, they would say she was there for the ones he wasn’t. joon hwi was certain that sol was avoiding him.

and he couldn’t understand why.

until now.

joon hwi’s eyes examine the young woman in front of him. he’s certain that a middle school student could figure this out; kang sol a is overworked. her dark eye circles are prominent, puffy and her bloodshot eyes do nothing but intensify her lack of sleep. he noticed just how pale her lips look, as he walks over to her. how has she gotten skinnier too?

joon hwi’s certain that she’s avoiding him not because of something he said that annoyed her. but because he knows that she doesn’t want him to see her in this state. his eyes soften and heart aches from the amount of effort she's putting in to her tests.

for sol, he knows how much the tests meant. it was like her entire life depended on it. that’s why he always wanted to help her. he didn’t want to see such a talented person fall behind. she has already proven herself worthy with all the cases she has participated in. but joon hwi knows that no matter how many times yeseul or bokgi or him say how smart and talented and how she’s doing great, she will never be satisfied in this cold, competitive prestigious school. she will always think she’s the worst and has no potential.

“sol.” his voice firm and serious. sol swears she felt a chill run down. she mentally braces herself for this conversation that she has tried all means to avoid. only one person dares address her as just ‘sol’.

“when did you last sleep? or eat proper food?” his eyes are serious, yet soft and glassy. his voice is gentle and soothing. she closes her eyes and lets out a silent sigh. she is nowhere the mock court, yet she feels like she has taken the witness stand and the oath. lying is perjury, she hears herself say.

“i’m doing fine. i just need to do well on this test.” she lies through her teeth. well, it’s a half true and a half lie. it’s just up to him to pick out which is the lie and truth. joon hwi isn’t an idiot, and can read her emotions with just a single look. it’s an utter lie.

“i’m getting coffee.” she mutters to herself. it was the whole reason she came out, anyways. her sleeve is caught by him but she yanks it away forcefully. she doesn’t even know why she’s being so harsh and angry to him. all he’s done is just ask how she’s doing.

“you need sleep. not caffeine.” he spins her around by her shoulders, his eyes serious and almost frustrated. she fails to meet his eyes, afraid of falling apart before him.

“joon, just let me be.” she says harshly and pushes his hands off before running to get that extra potent coffee. it was the first time she has ever called him that, and it falls out just as naturally as the word ‘sol’ does out of his. sol doesn’t notice how wet her eyes are until she’s downstairs, grabbing cans of coffee from the vending machine. (pathetic, she thinks, getting teary because of lying to her best friend.)

joon hwi doesn't follow. and sol isn't one bit affected.

not. at. all.

-----

the next time sol sees joon hwi is in the morning. he’s carrying his books and has his backpack slung over his shoulder, leaning against the wall. sol braces herself. she knows joon hwi to be protective and caring. but for him to be waiting at the entrance of their dorm was downright surprising.

sol’s not doing any better. when the caffeine and sugar stopped her from staying late, she resorted to stabbing her hand to keep herself awake. when her hand got too red and bloody, she switched to another spot on her arm. underneath her hoodie is her arm with dried blood and bruises all over. she’s surprised she hasn’t had blood poisoning yet.

sol flashes the most natural smile she can on her face, pretending as if her argument with him did not happen a few hours ago. her head was numb, but hanging on with the ointment she applied at her temples. she needed to act okay. just so he would stop worrying and leave her alone.

“sol.” joon hwi’s voice calls, going forward and grabbing her arm to support her. sol is about to create a joke, laugh it off and pretend everything is okay, hopefully convincing him she’s doing better (even if she’s far from it.). but what she doesn’t anticipate is his hand accidentally squeezing the sore wound of hers,

she hisses as his fingers dig into her wound and he immediately lets go. joon hwi’s eyes well in concern, not knowing what he’s done that caused her so much pain. sol’s eyes meet his, uncertain and afraid, as if a secret has been exposed. she pulls her sleeve down and is almost regretting that when joon hwi gently lifts her arm and lifts her sleeve up slightly to expose her arm and hand.

joon hwi takes her good hand in his and drags her to an empty staircase not far from where they were. joon hwi notes the dried blood on her hand and gives a disapproving sigh. just what was she doing to herself? she draws her hand back and pulls her sleeve down, hiding it away.

“sol, you need to take care of yourself.”

“joon, i’m doing okay, i promise. it’s not a big deal.” her voice upbeat and slightly more energetic. joon hwi is about to call her out from lying, but she flashes a smile. “come on, how can an exam defeat me?”

“i’m going to be late.” she says and runs ahead of him, joining yeseul and yebeom in front. sol feels a gnawing guilt in her heart for lying, but she momentarily forgets about it as yebeom sweeps them into a conversation.

i’m sorry, joon. i really am. but i’m not going to burden you any further.

joon hwi is left, helpless and broken, watching the back of the woman he loves stray further.

-----

it isn’t a secret that joon hwi and sol a are good friends. everyone on campus is always shocked. joon hwi, the school’s top student. sol a, the school’s worst student. everyone would have expected sol b when they heard ‘kang sol’. after all, it made sense, didn’t it? the two best students in school.

but what would be even more shocking is that han joon hwi, second round judicial exam passer, is deep in love with kang sol, the klutz with the top bun.

joon hwi couldn’t deny the joy he felt whenever sol was around. it started with study group and tutoring and messages about school. then it became lunches every moment they could. now, he couldn’t go a day without seeing her, hearing her voice or even a simple text. he can’t remember the moment he started falling for the clumsy woman, but when he realised it, he knew it was too late. he was in, deep.

and that's why he can’t bear to see her suffer. that’s why he spends late nights studying with her even though he doesn't need to. that’s why he insist walking her home, even though he installed the camera. (“i miss byeol! that smart cookie...” would always be his excuse.) that’s why he calls her ‘sol’, and he lets her call him ‘joon’, even though no one calls him that anymore.

sol locks herself in her room and buries herself under multiple books after her lectures. sol admits it, she’s tired. she can barely keep herself together and her body is so weak she doesn’t know how she managed to survive the week with less than two hours of sleep combined per day. she can’t remember the last nap she had that lasted more than half an hour.

the guilt from lying is eating her inside. when she closes her eyes, she can only see how hurt joon hwi’s face looks when he saw her arm. taking a shaky breath in, she doesn’t notice the tear running down her cheek. what was she even crying about? lying? hurting her best friend? fatigue? she slams her head against her books, shaking her thoughts out. it’s already 3am, and she doesn’t have much time left.

“kang sol a, you need to do this exam, you hear me? if you want to pass out, do it later on in the afternoon! you have 9 hours till the test.” she scolds herself out loud. stabbing her arm once again, she jerks herself awake and writes her notes over and over. just 9 more hours.

later on in the day, sol finds herself seated next to joon hwi. but she doesn’t notice him. her eyes are too out of focus to concentrate on anything but the paper and pen she holds. when the teaching assistant makes an announcement to start, she races against time and scribbles furiously. her head throbs, but she clings on to her last ounce of sanity keeping herself awake.

-----

she’s worse. joon hwi thinks. much, much worse. her skin is paler than normal and her eyes are fluttery. with her sleeve pulled up slightly, he notices the wound on her hand more bloody than it was. he visibly winces. but it’s nothing to the hurt in his heart. he knows that he should be busy scribbling, but his eyes are slightly glassy and all he can think of is her bloody hand.

all he wants to do is to drag her away. to take her far from this school. he wants to hold her small body in his arms and cradle her as he tends to her wounds. he wants to tuck her into a soft bed and stroke her brown hair. he wants to tell her how he feels, how she’s perfect, smart and beautiful in his eyes. how sol has already had his validation, and no matter how many kang sols there are, he will only have one in his heart.

as the clock leaves a minute or so to the end, sol struggles to keep her head from falling. she just needs to finish the last sentence. her eyes are blurred and her head has never felt more tight and woozy. her ramyeon from 4am is threatening to make an appearance.

“sol, you’re bleeding.” she hears an familiar echoed voice say next to her. instinctively, she brings a hand up to her nose, and wipes it, revealing the bright red blood. she can’t care for her jacket sleeve and carelessly wipes even though her arm aches. just a bit more, she tells herself.

the voices around her blur as she feels hands on her shoulder stopping her. she pushes them off weakly as she finishes the last word on her paper. she lets out a breath of relief and pushes her paper away from her. she’s finally done. she can finally breathe and have that nap. someone calls her name, but she’s too tired to respond.

then her eyes rolls back and she crashes into oblivion.

joon hwi manages to catch her head before it hits the table as she slumps sideways. he scribbles his name on his paper before chucking his paper and hers towards the teaching assistant. yeseul passes a tissue over to joon hwi and shakes her, eyes getting teary. he gently blots her nose, soaking up the blood. the other students leave unbothered, with only their study group crowding around them.

the next hour is a mad rush in joon hwi’s head. they are frantic for an ambulance, but joon hwi just cradles her body in his arms and runs outside. “it’s faster to run.” he says before taking off. she’s light, way too light for her frame, even with the layered coats that she’s wearing. when he reaches the hospital, she’s laid on a stretcher and sent for checks while the nurses ask him to wait for short while outside.

and for the third time, he stands outside, clutching to a bloody tissue, helpless.

-----

joon hwi wants to beat himself over and over. he should have been more forceful with her. heck, he should have done more than just watch silently. he should have sent packed lunches, compiled his notes, offered to stay up with her. even after when he knows how much sol is suffering, he only stood by.

his eyes are teary when he is allowed to see her. she looks so small under those white sheets. the doctor mentions that they had to take her hoodie off to patch her wounds and insert her IV drip. “dehydrated on caffeine, lack of nutrients and fatigue.” the doctor tells him. he only nods as the doctor leaves him.

his group chat is pinging with endless messages and he takes a moment to update them. he sends a quick text that he’ll let them know when she’s awake. his hand brushes the stray hairs out of her eyes and as best as he can, arranges her bangs the way she likes. his touch is as light as a butterfly as he lets his fingers brush pass her bandages.

with the curtain closed around him, joon hwi lets himself crumble silently, as tears run down his face, hands gripping sol’s stained hoodie sleeve. he wishes he could do something then just watch sol lie on the bed. he knows she is okay, but knowing that he could have prevented this worse case scenario from happening makes him upset. he gives himself a few minutes to compose himself before taking his own hoodie and layering it on her.

and for hours, joon hwi sits by her bed in his own thoughts, once again helpless.

-----

when she wakes up, her head pounds worse than the time she got the worse hangover in school. her eyes flutter, drawing the attention of joon hwi. her mind is cloudy as she starts registering the antiseptic smell and bright lights. her eyes come into focus as she turns over to find a pair of warm brown eyes looking at her.

“joon hwi...?” she says with barely any energy.

“you’re awake.” joon hwi lets himself sigh in relief knowing that she’s awake. it’s already 6pm. the others should be on their way over soon. he sends a quick “she’s awake” to the chat and shuts his phone.

“i... finished my exam right?” the words come tumbling out of sol’s mouth.

“that’s all you are thinking of now?” the anger in joon hwi’s voice catches her by surprise. she lowers her hand and avoids his eyes. she’s really done it, then. she’s really pissed him off.

“aren’t you one bit concerned about your health? you could have literally died being so overworked.” his eyes are glassy. realising that he’s frightening her, he lets a sigh out. joon hwi helps her sit up and props a pillow for her. her fingers fiddle with the thin blanket of the bed. there’s no point being strong in front of him now, after all this.

“you know how much every test means to me.” she mutters in a voice so soft, it’s unlike her to be so...small. joon hwi knows under that strong woman with a fiery passion for justice, there’s a vulnerable little girl, insecure and uncertain. but this was the first time, he realised, that she’s opening up herself.

“i’m so tired, joon. i’m so tired of running this stupid rat race that i’ll never win. i’m so sick of putting everything into my grades and not receiving anything back.” her voice so small, staring at the bandages on her hand. was the pain worth it? she’s not sure now.

joon hwi doesn’t say anything back. how could he? this man was born for this system, to bring law back to the country. he can’t compare to her, who spends countless nights studying, while taking care of her family. all he can do is sit by her bed and provide comfort.

“my head hurts. my body aches all over. yet, i can’t seem to do well in my exams. tell me, joon. just how long must i suffer?” his heart is pierced with every word she says. she’s so broken. joon hwi then notices the small pearls of tears dripping down her face.

his hand reaches out and his thumb rubs away her tears on her cheeks. he doesn’t know what prompted this, but sol doesn’t swat his hand away. she lets him as her hand wipes her remaining tears away.

“i’m here now. you can rely on me.” he says softly to her. suddenly, he takes her small hand in his and squeezes it in comfort. sol’s slightly taken aback, but she doesn’t know why she feels fuzzy inside. she feels warm and for the first time, she feels her burden lifted. with much courage, she gives a small smile.

“noona!” they hear a familiar panicked voice ring and they instinctively draw away from each other. if joon hwi’s face is slightly red, sol doesn't notice. sol is swept away into arguing with bokgi with her health and a teary eyed yeseul. even jiho and sol b came, but stood by silently. (jiho notices joon hwi’s flushed cheeks and his too-bright smile that he finally realises is meant for kang sol a. he makes a mental note about it.)

joon hwi leans back as he watches yeseul and bokgi fuss with sol’s health. he suppresses a smile as he looks at sol’s light laugh, knowing how her burdens are slowly fading and lifted. that he’s finally managed to reach out for his soulmate as she sinks further. it was going to be a journey, but joon hwi will drag her, his sol, out from her darkness every time.

i’m going to be there, no matter what, kang sol. you will not fight alone. i will stay with you, even when you think you don’t deserve it. it doesn't matter if you feel the same towards me or not. if i can see you smile and laugh, it’s enough for me. your happiness is all that matters.

because kang sol, i just love you so damm much.

-----

sol doesn’t notice the switch in her jacket. when she leaves about an hour later with her friends to eat jjajangmyeon (extra pickles, she orders.), she assumes the jacket she has by her bed is hers. she doesn't notice the sandalwood and jasmine smell, as opposed to her pine scented fabrics. when joon hwi teases her and she argues back in annoyance, she’s carefree and light.

when joon hwi smiles at her with his sweet smile, she can’t help but think she’s so lucky that she has him, of all people, by her side. her heart skips a beat, and she’s certain that she feels more than friends towards him. that all this time, she has finally fallen for the cheeky and charming joon hwi behind his intellect.

she smiles back, teeth bared and eyes crinkled as they walk back.

after all, who is to stand against her now, when she has him by her side?

joon hwi, thank you for finding me no matter how much i try to hide away. thank you for believing in me when everyone didn’t. i know you like someone else, and it’s okay. because whoever that is will be so damm lucky to have you. to see you smile your charming smile is enough to put me at ease.

because han joon hwi, i admit, i have fallen for you. i’m in love with you.

-----

bonus:

“noona, they like each other, don’t they?” bokgi watches as sol a barks at joon hwi. joon hwi only runs ahead and buries his hands in his hoodie pockets while letting out light laughs and continues teasing.

“oh, they are so whipped for each other.” yeseul triumphantly says as she walks with the rest behind the not-so-obvious lovebirds.

well, this would be an interesting relationship to see unfold.

160 notes · View notes

shyficwriter · 3 years

Text

Temporary Home: Chapter 18

Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic | Reader x Guardians (With Yondu and Kraglin!)

Summary: Your soothing nighttime walk turns out to be not-so-soothing. What happens when Mantis wakes up to find you missing in the middle of the night?

Previous Chapter here | Next Chapter Here Or click here to: Start From Beginning

Author’s Note: This is a L O N G one lol. I was going to split it, but after asking you guys and receiving feedback that I should leave it long, here we are lol Content Warning for injuries and bad decisions. Also, for my records this chapter ends on day 35 of the Guardians living with reader. Enjoy!

Word Count: 9,359

The night was cool, and you were grateful you thought to bring your jacket as you crossed the tree line. It had been more than a week since you visited the forest, and a least a couple more since you'd taken a walk through it at night. You considered yourself overdue.

You sigh and glance up at the moon through the leaves. It provided just enough light for you to not walk face-first into a tree, assuming those clouds didn't decide to come cover it.

You pull out your earbuds from your pocket, deciding some music would make some lovely company on your walk, a companion to drown out the memories.

Tonight would be one of your "wonder aimlessly" nights, rather than heading to your favorite tree. As much as you loved to sit under it, tonight you'd keep walking, tire yourself out and forget what pained you.

It had been maybe an hour or more of you listening to the same playlist, trying to drown out memories of sirens and screams and pain, when you finally pulled out your phone to switch to a new song set.

Although you may have known most of this forest nearly like the back of your hand, you weren't immune to the occasional blunder, such as not paying attention to what was right in front of you, thus side-swiping a bush and dropping your phone in the process.

And, of course, it fell face down. That, or you had accidentally locked the screen when you dropped it. You weren't sure which. Either way, you sighed internally. Without the benefit of the phone's light to guide you meant needing to get down on your knees and patting the ground to find it. Wonderful. Hopefully the screen didn't break when it fell.

After a few moments of patting around on the ground your hand finally grazed the smooth plastic of your phone case, and just as you claimed your prize, a loud CRACK sounded, followed by an unfortunately familiar hot, wet, feeling in your side.

***

Mantis woke late into the night/early morning, not quite certain what exactly had woken her, but regardless, sleepily got up to use the toilet. Upon returning to the room, and having woken just enough from her brief nighttime quest, she realized that you weren't in your bed.

The clock on your desk read nearly 3:30 AM, and the corners of her mouth drooped slightly in confusion. She had learned enough about how Terrans tracked time to know that that was very late. Where could you be?

She didn't need her empathic abilities to know that you had been very upset that night before bed, perhaps you went downstairs because you couldn't sleep? Once she found where you had gone she could ask if you could use a friend to talk to, and maybe while the two of you were talking she could use her abilities to see what you were feeling. Perhaps that could help? She still hadn't told you about her empathic abilities, not wanting to ruin the "practical joke" Yondu had come up with, (She really should ask him when the 'punchline,' as Peter called it, was going to happen...) but she still used them from time to time without your knowing and she was confident this time would be no different.

Making her way carefully down the dark stairs she made her first stop the kitchen. Perhaps you were having a late night snack?

The kitchen flooded with light when she flicked the switch, only to reveal you weren't there.

Leaving the kitchen light on to provide some light to the hall, she crossed the dark floor to the sitting room door. It was possible you might have decided to watch TV or read. However, no light was found to be emanating from the TV or from any of the lamps you might have used for reading. A flick to overhead light switch also proved that you hadn't decided to just sit in the dark.

How strange...

Maybe you were in the downstairs bathroom, having coincidentally also needed the toilet while she was using the one upstairs? The light wasn't on under the door, but she still lightly knocked anyway, gently opening it when there was no answer. You weren't in there either.

Mantis turned to the two remaining doors in the hall. A closet and one leading down to the cellar.

Hall closet first. Definitely.

Opening that door revealed nothing but a small empty space with some pipes, the note from Agent Hill still stuck to the wall where you had never bothered to remove it. She closed the door and turned to the one leading down to the cellar.

The creepy cellar.

Maybe she should go check the cupboards in the kitchen, instead. You could be hiding in one of them, right?

Obviously, she didn't find you there either.

Returning to the hall she glanced at the cellar door again. Surely, you wouldn't be down there, right? There was a small closet in the bathroom she didn't check that you'd be much more likely to be hiding in.

You weren't there.

Behind the couch? No.

What about behind the shower curtain? No.

Under the kitchen table? No.

Mantis frowned and wrung her hands nervously. There was only one place left to try- Actually, maybe you went for a drive! That must be it!

Unfortunately a glance out the front kitchen windows would prove disappointing. Your car was sitting right in your driveway.

Shoot. Now there really was just one place left to check. Begrudgingly, she made her way to the cellar door. She really didn't want to go down there. It was just so creepy, and the fact that it was nighttime and she had to make the trip alone only made it worse.

Taking a deep breath, she went down anyway, flicking the light on before she descended, because there was no way she was going down there in the dark.

She bit her lip nervously, each step down making her heart beat just a little bit faster. When she finally reached the bottom of the stairs she tentatively called out your name, her voice coming out in a near squeak.

You didn't answer back.

She called again, slightly louder this time.

Nothing.

Just as she was considering touching down on the cold brick floor to search for you the light blew out, throwing the cellar into blackness. With a tiny frightened squeal, she decided what she'd already done was good enough and darted back up the stairs. Her heart threatened to flutter out of her chest as she swiftly, yet quietly, shut the door behind her once she reached the top.

She took a moment to catch her breath.

It would seem you were nowhere to be found. How odd... Where could you be then? Frowning, she decided she should maybe try to wake Gamora. She'd know what to do.

***

It took you a second to fully realize that you had been shot. There wasn't exactly pain straight away, more just the sensation that someone had chucked a pebble at you. It was the blood and the aforementioned booming CRACK that tipped you off.

When the realization of your situation did hit you, however, your first thought was simply, 'Fuck. Fuck.'

There wasn't pain yet, but you knew there would be.

You ripped the earbuds from your ears, knowing you needed to take in your surroundings immediately. You knew what happened, but you didn't know the why, who, or the full extent of how screwed you were. You needed to find out the why and who before the pain inevitably set in.

As quiet and aware as you could be as you applied pressure to your wound, your ears searched to hear anything that might give a clue as to who shot you, sure that they'd try it again.

Why was this happening? Had you been somehow compromised? If so, why were they shooting at you in the forest? How would they even know you'd be there? Unless... unless they followed you- Fuck. Did that mean there where others at the house? Did that mean- Shit. You didn't even have a weapon on you. Sure, you had a pocket knife, but you know the saying about knives and gunfights.

One of them speaks. "I think you hit it, Michael!"

The other answers. "Awesome! Wait until dad sees it! That fox sounded big."

"Are you kidding? It was way too big to be a fox! It must have been a deer!"

Oh no. No. They weren't enemy agents, or aliens.

They were kids.

They were the boys of the man who lived a couple miles down the road. They were hunting. Illegally. Poaching at night, out of season.

And they'd shot you.

They sounded far off, maybe thirty meters away? Twenty? You weren't sure. You tried to control your breath as you felt the wound, unable to see it clearly in the dark. The hole felt small, clean. Maybe a .22 round? If so, that was good. Meant you could dig it out later whole, rather than deal with the aftermath of the round having exploded inside you. You were bleeding, but not gushing. They hadn't hit an artery. Also good. Meant you wouldn't bleed out in minutes. You just needed to keep pressure on it...

Twigs and leaves crunched as they began walking your way. Coming to claim what they believed to be their kill.

No. Fuck.

If they find you, the authorities will likely be called, someone to bring medical assistance because, well, they shot you. If the authorities are called, they'll probably come to your home. You can't let that happen. Your charge's location cannot be compromised. Fuck. Fuck.

And this is all of course assuming the boys will feel guilt about shooting you and want to do the right thing. From what little you knew them they seemed like decent boys, but that's the thing, you didn't know them. You'd seen enough movies to know what can happen if someone doesn't want to get in trouble for an accident of this severity. They were also out hunting illegally. What if they just tried to finish the job? Eliminate the witness and avoid repercussions for shooting a person while poaching? You couldn't let that happen either. You had a responsibility to your charges.

Ok, so maybe panic was starting to set in from the adrenaline, clouding your judgement. This wasn't helped by the fact a hot pain was starting to creep out around your wound. Maybe you weren't thinking your clearest. But still, you couldn't allow them to get close.

They were getting closer, and you desperately needed a plan. You had the benefit of the bush for concealment, but just sitting there wasn't an option. Neither was running away. For one, they'd hear you and possibly see you. Secondly, you wouldn't be at your top running game with a bullet wound. You patted the ground for something, anything to throw and alert their attention elsewhere.

Your hand grazed over a decent sized rock, and you thanked the stars for your good fortune that it wasn't so big you wouldn't be able to throw it one handed and that it wasn't so small it wouldn't make enough noise.

Grabbing the rock, you threw it as hard as you could in the direction heading away from your home. Unfortunately, that also meant removing the hand you were using to apply pressure to your wound as you couldn't throw with your other arm being still trapped in a brace as it was, but you considered it a necessary risk.

The rock landed in another bush somewhere and you felt dizzy as one of the boys said in the distance, "Oh! I think I heard it run over that way, you must have just stunned it!" Rusting could be heard headed in the direction the rock landed, and you sigh in relief that they had taken the bait.

That relief was short lived. Pressure still needed to be applied to your wound, and the hot pain now enveloped nearly your whole side. The wet patch had grown in the few moments that your increasingly foggy mind had neglected it. As quietly as you could, you laid on the ground. Fatigue overcame you, but you couldn't allow yourself to sleep. No. Just lay there. Just until the coast was clear. Until traces of their voices and footsteps can no longer be heard. Maybe rest your eyes while you waited...

No! Stay alert. You needed to head back to the house as soon as you could.

But could five seconds really hurt?

Yes! Of course they could!

But your eyelids were already so heavy...

You exhaled slowly as the world went black.

***

"Gamora?" Mantis whispered quietly, staring down at the green woman's sleeping face.

Gamora didn't stir.

"Gamora?" she tried again, a little louder this time as she shook her gently by the shoulder.

Gamora sleepily groaned and blinked her eyes, asking Mantis what she wanted before startling when her eyes opened fully and she was confronted with Mantis's face inches from her own. Once the startle wore-off Gamora sighed and sat up, rubbing her eyes. Trying not to show her irritation at being woken up, she reached for the phone SHIELD had given her. It had a Terran time clock inside. She asked again, "What do you need, Mantis?" as she made out the time on the phone to be a quarter to four, and added, "It's late."

Mantis backed away slightly and answered that she couldn't find you anywhere.

"What do you mean you can't find her?" Gamora asked.

"She's not in her bed, and I checked the whole house, she's not here. Her vehicle is, but she is not."

This got Gamora's attention. If you weren't in the house, where would you have gone in the middle of the night?

"She was upset earlier at Peter earlier, do you think she ran away?" Mantis asked, sounding worried.

Gamora shook her head. No, this was your home. If you were really that unhappy with them it'd make more sense to her that you'd kick them out rather than just abandoning your home. "No Mantis, I'm sure she's around somewhere, we'll help you look."

With that, she took her pillow and threw it across the room at Peter, who was dead asleep and snoring softly. It smacked him in the head.

He woke with a start. "Hey! What was that for?" he asked groggily, sitting up to throw the pillow back.

Gamora caught it, informing him that Mantis said you were gone, and that he was going to help them check the house for you.

Peter groaned. "Really? I'm sure she's just downstairs. I'm going back to sleep." He laid back down and turned to face the wall.

"What if she ran away? You made her pretty upset last night, what if she doesn't come back?" Mantis asked, ignoring Gamora's previous assertions that that wouldn't have happened.

Peter flopped on his back and groaned into the ceiling. He also knew that scenario was highly unlikely, but now Mantis had made him feel bad. Now he had to help them search for you. "Fine!" he said, "I'll help look, but I'm telling you, she's probably just downstairs getting a snack or something."

They made their way down the stairs together, trying to be quiet about it so as to not wake the others. The way was lit just enough to see the steps, courtesy of the lights Mantis had left on downstairs in the kitchen and sitting room.

Like Mantis had before, they checked the bathroom, the kitchen, the sitting room, and, after obtaining a torch from the kitchen drawer you kept them in, Peter checked the cellar again too. Nothing.

"Let's check outside," Peter suggested, now more awake and seeing the oddness of your absence. "Maybe she just wanted some fresh air."

Gamora grabbed another torch from the drawer and started to head outside. Just before exiting the front door Gamora noted the door was still locked, which prompted Peter to check the back door as well. It was locked too. This likely meant you'd likely not be outside, because why would you lock yourself out if you were just getting some fresh air? Regardless, they checked outside anyway. They walked around the house, shone the light in your car, peered in the garden, and investigated the tree swing. You weren't in any of those places either.

Peter went to check the shed, but found it locked. No lights were on inside, and he didn't hear anyone stirring around in there, but he knocked anyway. No answer. Not like he really expected one.

Puzzled, they all went back inside the house.

Maybe you were in someone else's bedroom? Sure, they knew it'd be odd to find you in someone else's room, as you usually never went in them to their knowledge, but maybe you had sleepwalked?

They headed back upstairs, taking a quick peak inside your room and the upstairs bathroom again just in case, before quietly looking into the other's rooms, not wanting to wake and alert them right away just in case.

Well, Peter and Gamora had intended to be quiet. Mantis, however, just flipped the light on in the room Drax, Rocket, and Groot shared, which woke them.

Drax groaned and covered his eyes at the sudden intrusion of bright light and Rocket grumbled. Groot just sat up sleepily and yawned, stretching adorably as Rocket sat up and asked Mantis what her problem was.

She repeated what she had said to Gamora earlier, that you were missing.

Rocket rolled his eyes, and had much the same reaction as Peter had. Told her that you were probably just downstairs.

Gamora stepped next to Mantis, followed by Peter, and vouched for her claims. They'd already searched for you. You weren't there.

Rocket frowned. "She'll turn up. You worry too much."

Gamora's eyes narrowed. "What if something happened, Rocket?"

Before he could answer, Yondu and Kraglin, who had been woken by the voices, sleepily stepped into the hall. "What's goin' on here?" Yondu asked, sounding gruff and none-too-pleased at having been woken.

For the fourth time that night it was explained that you were missing, and Yondu and Kraglin shared a look. "What'd'ya mean, 'missing'?" Kraglin asked, his eyebrow raised.

After some more talk about how the search for you turned up nothing, and wondering if something had happened, Rocket rolled his eyes and said "Like what? You really think someone came in here, just took her, and woke none of us up?"

Drax was sitting up now. "He is right. We would have heard it if something like that happened."

Gamora sighed, saying, "I don't know, but don't you find it the least bit strange that she just vanished? I seriously doubt she just decided to go take a walk in the middle of the night."

Yondu and Kraglin had moved closer to the doorway of the bedroom everyone was currently hovering around and Yondu spoke up. "I wouldn't be so sure about that one."

"What do you mean?" Peter asked.

"She might've done just that. Probably went for a walk."

"Why would she-" Gamora started.

"Not a chance," Rocket said disbelievingly, cutting her off. "I would have heard the door. I hear every time one of you guys gets up to get a drink or take a leak in the middle of the night. I would have definitely heard her leaving the house."

"Clearly ya don't hear as well as ya think," Kraglin said, "Cap'n and me seen her go out for walks at night through the window a couple times. We never heard her leave."

"Surely the door would have been easier?" said Drax, perplexed.

Yondu just pinched the bridge of his nose, but didn't correct him.

"Yeah right," Rocket scoffed, ignoring Drax. "You're probably just losin' your hearing to old age. Terran's ain't that stealthy."

"Hey!" Peter objected.

"She can be real quiet if she wants to," Yondu said, wondering if he should mention you might just be in the forest. He shared a glance with Kraglin, who seemed to be wondering the same.

"Oh wow. The geezer can't hear. Shocker." Rocket said sarcastically.

"Well you clearly never heard her leave either, Rat." Kraglin tossed back at him.

"Or us searching downstairs for the last fifteen minutes." Gamora added.

That shut him up.

"But who goes for a walk this late?" Peter asked.

"Well, ya did make her mighty upset last night," Yondu said.

"So?"

"So, I noticed on bad days she would go out for walks."

Peter frowned. "Bad days?"

"Yeah. Like when Rocket messed the kitchen, or that night she bit ya. Days when she'd be upset. She seemed to quit going after she hurt her arm, but maybe she was finally feelin' more up to it, or just upset enough to not care."

Drax spoke up in realization, repeating what Yondu had previously said. "That's right! Quill did make her very mad last night! That must be where she went!"

Rocket looked at Peter accusingly. "So it's Quill's fault that we're all awake at..." he glanced at the clock on the wall, "four in the morning."

Peter frowned and Yondu made a concerned humming noise. He hadn't realized the time. Didn't realize it was quite that late.

"What?" Peter asked.

"That is real late to be out..."

"That's what we're saying!" Peter said in frustration. "So what do we do? Should we wait? Go looking for her? Call SHIELD?"

Yondu looked down thoughtfully for a moment, then looked up to meet Gamora's gaze, her face illuminated by the light coming from the bedroom. "Let's wait. If she ain't back by mornin' we'll call SHIELD."

"What if she's hurt?" Peter asked, guilt setting in. If you had indeed gone out for a nighttime walk because you were pissed at him, and then got hurt, or worse, it'd be his fault. It was just supposed to be a bit of fun. He only wanted to get a little under your skin. He didn't think he was going too far, but still, if that was the outcome-

Mantis interrupted his thoughts. "Oh no! What if a monster ate her!" she exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hands.

"A monster did not eat her." Gamora said to calm her, slightly frowning. Though, secretly, she was unsure of this. Terra did have some terrifying creatures. Just the other day she read about the Hippopotamus. Where they native to this area? Could one have gotten to you?

She pushed those thoughts aside and said, "Peter and I will stay up and watch for her. The rest of you can go back to sleep."

"Finally!" Rocket said, laying back down and pulling the blanket over his head. Groot had already fallen back asleep several minutes ago, having been too sleepy to fully grasp what was going on and unable to keep his eyes open.

Gamora gently nudged Mantis back to her own bed, and Peter did the same to Yondu and Kraglin with a nod of his head, though they seemed reluctant to go. Yondu only frowned and they didn't make an immediate move to leave.

Drax, who usually woke early anyway, then said, "I'm already awake, I might as well stay awake." With that, he threw off his blanket and went to stand up.

This was met with complaints and the others shielding their eyes.

"Dude! You got to start wearing underwear to bed!" Peter scolded.

Drax just rolled his eyes and waved him off, muttering something about Earthers having hangups.

Yondu and Kraglin turned on their heels and escaped to their room to save their eyes from further assault.

***

"Mommy?" a small voice whispered. "Mooommmyyyy?" it said again in a sing song voice.

You hum in response, "What is it, sweetie?"

"Get up, mommy!" said another small, giggly voice. This was almost immediately followed by two small bodies flinging themselves onto the bed, someone's knee connecting with your side and sending pain jolting through you. Your eyes immediately pop open with a groan.

"Sorry!" apologized one of the little voices.

"It's ok, baby." you say, trying not to grit your teeth despite the pain not ebbing away.

"You need to get up, mommy!" the voice giggled.

"Five more minutes," you joked, re-closing your eyes.

"Come on, wakey-wakey!" This time the voice came from your partner as they briefly tickled your ribs.

You laugh before wincing in pain, your side still aching you. You open your eyes and look into those of your love. You smile despite the pain.

"Get up, darling," they said, smiling lovingly down at you.

You reach out to touch their face before it hits you. Wait... This- They can't...

Your partner's face falls, they look worried. "Get up, darling." they say, there is more urgency to their voice.

You open your mouth to answer when one of the small voices speaks, sounding frightened. "Get up, mommy!"

You furrowed your brow at them in confusion. What's the matt-

This thought is cut off by a stab of pain in your side. You look down, but nothing's there.

"Get up, mommy!" It's more frantic this time. Your partner joins in, just as frantic. "Get up!"

Now you're frightened. All three of them are screaming at you now. "Get up, mommy! Get up! GET UP! GET UP, MOMMY! GET UP, NOW!"

***

You jolt awake, tears running down your cheeks and a hot pain in your side despite the cool air. You shivered.

The entire side of your shirt was soaked in blood, and you could feel some pooled on your backside. How long had you been out? Minutes? Hours? It was just beginning to get lighter out, so perhaps not hours?

With some difficulty you managed to pull yourself to your knees. Your phone and earbuds lay next to you on the ground and you stuff them in your jacket pocket before moving to stand up.

Dirt and leaves stuck to the blood coating your hand and you wiped it as best you could on the hip of your dark jeans. Dried blood and dirt still remained in translucent smears on your hand and you frowned at the sight. It'd be a bad idea to press it back against your wound. Your other hand, however attached to your injured arm, was reasonably clean. So, you pressed that to your side instead, using your opposite hand to help keep pressure against it from outside your jacket.

Maybe if you found the river you could clean-

No. Fuck the river. You needed to get home. You had supplies there.

The thought of walking all that way made you dizzy, but you needed to press on. You could do this. Just one foot in front of the other.

***

Peter and Gamora sat at the kitchen table sipping coffee to keep themselves awake, unsure how long it'd be when, or if, you came back. After a bit Kraglin joined them.

"Couldn't sleep?" Peter asked as Kraglin made his way to the coffee.

"Nope." Kraglin sighed. "Yondu's trying, but I gave up. Hard to sleep when he's tossin' n' turnin' like that. Get's like that when he's worryin', about stuff." He approached the table, coffee in hand. "Though, he ain't gonna admit that."

"Wait," Peter raised an eyebrow at him as he sat down. "You saying he's worried about her?"

Seeing Peter's expression Kraglin said, "Pete, we both know he puts on a tough act, but if ya ain't figured out by now that Yondu's really jus' a big softie, I don't know what to tell ya."

Now Peter and Gamora shared a look.

Kraglin rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee before speaking lower, as if afraid Yondu might hear him. "Ya seriously haven't noticed how he's taken to her? How he teases and messes with her? Like how he does with you, or how he did with-" he cut himself off, seeming unsure if he should have said anything.

"With who?" Peter asked, intrigued.

Kraglin seemed hesitant, but eventually answered. "Well, with the other kids your dad had us fetch. Cap'n cared about every single one, Pete, even if he didn't say- 'cause he never says. They may never have stayed long, certainly not as long as you," he chuckled a bit, looking down at the table, "but he couldn't help carin' about all of 'em, the big softie."

Peter looked at him, surprised. He wasn't expecting this conversation, but if the universe was giving him a chance to have some things clarified, he was going to take it. "Ya know I asked him once, a little while back, after all that stuff happened with Ego, why he took that job. Why he brought so many kids to him, but he just shrugged and said it was good money." Peter's tone was questioning, as if he knew he didn't quite believe that but wanted Kraglin to confirm.

Kraglin lifted his coffee, but didn't drink. "Yeah, the money was good, but he also thought he was doin' a good thing at the time, even if it didn't adhere to the code. Bringin' youngins back to their daddy." He frowned a bit. "It killed him when he found out what Ego was doin' to those kids."

He paused a moment, set his mug down, and glanced out the back window. "He hated knowing he had a part in it." Another pause. He looked back at Peter. "It's no surprise to me that he kept ya instead of dropping ya back off here. He didn't just want to do right by not delivering ya to Ego, ya know. He got attached." Kraglin then let out a half-chuckle. "He can't help himself. Like I said, big old softie." There was more to it than that, Kraglin knew. Though, he didn't say. Yondu had a habit of taking in the broken or the lost. Give them a place to belong. He was rough on the outside, but if you could peel back the many layers he hid under, you'd see a softness. Someone who just wanted a family. It was no wonder it broke his heart when Stakar exiled him. Yondu had only been trying to reunite a family, but this mistake had resulted in him being disowned by his.

After a moment Kraglin spoke again. "Ya know, I told him not to get attached to this one 'cause we'd be leavin' eventually, but he don't listen. It's just how he is, Pete." He took another sip of coffee.

Peter sat there in silence a moment, having replied with nothing more than a short, "Huh."

He had actually not given much thought on whether Yondu had cared about the other kids he fetched for Ego in the short time since that whole situation went down. He supposed it didn't surprise him now though, given how things had turned out. He saw how quickly Yondu and Rocket got along, and how he played around with Groot almost like a grandpa. Not to mention the fact that Yondu's near-death experience had made Peter better able to appreciate the fact that he had definitely gotten special treatment apart from the rest of the crew growing up, even if he hadn't noticed at the time.

Gamora sat and watched the two men in silent understanding. This revelation about Yondu did honestly surprise her, but if her last adventure with Peter had taught her anything, it was that sometimes people aren't always how they seem. Everyone has hidden parts.

She blinked, a sudden realization having hit her. She nudged Peter in the arm. "The attic," she said.

"What?" Peter asked, confused. Kraglin also raised an eyebrow at her.

"We never checked the attic. What if she's been up there this whole time and doesn't even realize we've been looking for her?" It could be possible. You had spent plenty of time up there when that couple upset you.

Now Peter blinked. Then he sighed in slight annoyance. "If that's where she's been this whole time I'm kicking her ass."

Gamora gave him a scolding look and Kraglin stood.

"Hold that thought," he said, explaining that he wanted to tag along, having been curious about the attic ever since he learned no one was allowed up there, but he wanted to excuse himself to the toilet first. Then he'd be ready.

Peter and Gamora figured waiting another couple minutes wouldn't kill them, so they stayed at the table and waited for their friend to come back. Peter was still grumbling about how if you worried "Mantis" for nothing he was going to 'kick your ass', and Gamora telling him that he would do no such thing, when they heard the front door open.

***

The time you spent stumbling your way back felt endless, the effort of standing upright and walking was doing nothing to dull the pain of your wound. You did your best to keep pressure on it, but you still felt dizzy, and you wondered again just how much blood you had lost when you were out and just how long you had been laying there. The sky was growing lighter still, but it wasn't near dawn yet. You must have been out all night.

Eventually you came to a break in the trees, only you weren't where you expect to be. Granted, you were disoriented, but you didn't think you were so much so that you would have managed to exit the woods to the side of your house, rather than behind where you normally came and went from the forest.

No wonder it felt like it was taking forever to get home.

No matter. Your home was finally in sight. The others wouldn't likely be up for a few hours, so you'd have time to clean yourself up in the kitchen with the aid kit you kept under the sink and get back to bed before anyone noticed you were gone. No need to listen to anyone fussing about you having been shot and the likely resulting questions about the hows and whys.

It took longer than it really should have for you to fully register that lights were on inside.

They shouldn't have been. They weren't when you left.

Someone was up.

Crap.

Nothing for it but to continue on your way. You were about three quarters of the way there now. Almost there.

Nausea creeped in your belly, you blamed it on the anxiety.

This was fine. It was fine. If someone was in the kitchen, you'd just sneak by to the bathroom. You had enough supplies in there to do what you needed in the medicine cupboard. Not like whoever it was would barge in to see you treating your wound, right? It's fine.

It was a hollow plan and you knew it. For one, there was your bloody clothes to consider. Well... you probably did need a shower... You could feign having forgotten your clothes upstairs if whoever was downstairs hadn't made their way back to bed before you were done. Worst that would happen is that whoever it was would see you making your trip upstairs in a towel. You could live with that, right?

Sure. Sure. It's fine.

At least that's what you told yourself in your impaired state.

You finally reached your front door and reach out with your good arm to grab the doorknob, only realizing as it turned easily to let you in that it shouldn't have. You always locked the doors at night, and you had left out the back door, so if you had forgotten to lock any of them, it would have been that one as you left.

What if someone broke in?

Anxiety tightened your chest and stomach as you quietly shut the door and quickly took in your surroundings. The lights to both the sitting room and kitchen were on, the hall light was off, as was the upstairs light. The other two rooms provided just enough light for objects in the hall to be visible enough that a person wouldn't walk into anything, but the space was still largely dark, and got darker the closer one would get to the staircase.

Drax could be seen in the sitting room, resting in one of the armchairs and facing away from you towards the TV. He hadn't seemed to notice you come in, and a little tension relieves from your shoulders.

Surely if someone had broken in then he wouldn't just be sitting there watching TV. And if he was in there, maybe he had just been in the kitchen and forgot to turn off the light? You hoped so. It would make your life a whole lot easier right now.

Nope. Someone was rustling in the kitchen. Someone else must be awake. Damn. You prepared yourself to clean up in the bathroom, but then noticed the thin light under the door.

Damn it! You really didn't want to climb stairs right now. You were so tired.

Guess that's too bad, because it seemed the upstairs bathroom was your only choice at the moment. It was the only place left where you had any medical supplies stored.

You made you way towards the stairs, fighting the dizziness and pain. You could do this. One step up. Good. That wasn't so hard, was it? Now just to repeat that sixteen times until you reached the landing. Oh what fun.

"Where have you been?" called a stern voice from behind you.

You turned to see Peter and Gamora standing in the hall near the kitchen doorway that was closest to the front door, looking rather cross even in the dim light provided from the kitchen.

"What?" You frowned and turned completely to face them, hoping to keep your posture looking natural while still keeping pressure on the wound. Your braced arm couldn't extend straight anyway, due to being locked in a limited range of motion, so that helped your case a little. If you just put your good hand in your pocket you thought your posture would almost look natural and relaxed. You only hoped they didn't turn on the light. Your dark jeans and jacket paired with the dim light were the only things saving you from them seeing the blood on your clothes.

Gamora tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. Something was off here. You seemed strange.

"Where have you been all night?" Peter repeated, taking a few steps closer and becoming more of a silhouette as he walked out of the range of the kitchen's light.

Squinting at him you feigned a short laugh, moving backwards up a step on the stairs. "What are you? My dad? I don't need your permission to take an early walk," you said, making to turn away but stopping when Gamora spoke next.

"You've been gone since at least 3:00 AM, it's nearly 5:00 am now." You seemed strange to her, and she wondered if something was wrong. You seemed in an awful hurry to get away from them.

You grimaced both at her words and the pain in your side. So you had been out for quite a bit... "Alright, so a very early walk." You take another backwards step, bringing yourself to stand on the third stair. Please let this conversation end soon. You were getting shaky, or at least you noticed it more now that you were forced to stand still.

"Bullshit. You were out all night." Peter confronted. "Where did you go? What's the big idea?"

You were glaring at him and trying to find a way to cut this conversation short when Drax came out of the sitting room, having heard you guys talking.

He smiled and said, "Peter, Gamora! She's back!"

Gamora pinched the bridge of her nose. "We know, Drax."

You took this distraction to climb up another step, trying to take deeper breaths to ease your rapid heart.

"Friend! We thought you had climbed out a window and then got eaten by a monster!" said Drax, who, for reasons unbeknownst to you, decided that now was apparently a good time to hug you.

Your eyes widened as you saw him approaching with outstretched arms. In a slight panic you take a quick and painful step backwards to rest on the fifth step. "Stop!" you say, a little harsher than you intended.

Drax stopped, having only been able to take a few steps in your direction and looking confused.

You made an attempt to recover. "I'm sorry, just... no bear hugs right now. I'm... not feeling too well. I'm going to go lie down now," you say, throwing a glance at Peter and adding, "assuming you're done telling me what I can and can't do in my own house." Ok, so that was a little harsh, considering they actually did have cause to be concerned, even if they were unaware of your current circumstances, but you really needed to get upstairs.

A thoughtful look came over Gamora's face. You had been acting strangely in her opinion, but she supposed if you really weren't feeling well that could explain it. She decided not to press it.

Peter narrowed his eyes at you before waving you off with a scoff, he and Gamora turning back to the kitchen. Drax simply nodded and turned back to the sitting room, seeing no reason not to comply with your request. It made perfect sense to him that you wouldn't want to be squeezed if you weren't feeling well.

You sighed in relief, and used the added adrenaline to force yourself into taking the steps quicker. You made it to about the twelfth step before one of your knees buckled and you tripped, letting out a short cry of pain when you caught yourself.

Many things then happened simultaneously in the next couple of minutes.

First, Peter rolled his eyes upon hearing you stumble up the stairs. He turned with a sigh, making his way over to the switch while Gamora paused and waited for him just outside the kitchen. "You know you probably wouldn't trip if you bothered to turn on a dang light!" he scolded, still frustrated with you. What was the big idea? Being gone all night, making him feel guilty that you might have gotten hurt and it would've been his fault, worrying Mantis, just to show up and act like they were being overbearing? Jackass.

You shook your fall off best you could, ignoring Peter's scolding about walking up the stairs in the dark. You shakily continued up, only to then see a thin light under the upstairs bathroom door just before reaching the final step, certain that you could also hear the shower running. 'Is the whole damn house awake?' you bitterly wondered. Whatever. You'd just wait them out in your room. Hopefully they were almost done.

Then the hall light flicked on below, making your breath hitch in surprise. You tried to calm yourself. It was still relatively dim upstairs, now brighter than it had been in the hall, but still dim enough. They wouldn't see the blood on you. You were fine. Just get to your room, before someone sees.

When the hall flooded with light Peter was finally able to notice a red smudge on the floor. Another rested a little ways from that one, and another, and another. Like a trail.

The few steps to your bedroom door from the top stair were dizzying, but you made it. However, just before you could grab onto the knob a gruff voice spoke behind you.

"Finally decide to turn in for the night?" Yondu asked, a layer of scolding in his voice. He had decided to finally follow Kraglin's lead and give up on sleep, telling himself his sleeplessness was just curiosity about where you had run off too. He wasn't worried, he was just curious. Maybe a little annoyed that you'd worry Mantis like this by staying out all night, but him worried? No.

At least that's what he told himself.

So imagine his relief surprise when he opened the bedroom door to see you standing on the landing just outside your own room. He had half a mind to give you a piece of his for scaring him Mantis like you did. What had you been thinking? Staying out all night, worrying the others? Downright rude.

You turn to face him, resting your shoulders against the door. "Peter already pulled the mother hen act downstairs," you quipped weakly. "You can give it a rest."

He walked closer. You were being your usually snippy self, but something was off. Part of him wanted to ask if something had happened, but instead he settled on scolding you for being out all night. He didn't know what you meant by 'mother hen', but your tone implied cheekiness. He narrowed his eyes, his tone got darker. "Ya know you had the whole house up lookin' fer ya," he began. A bit of an exaggeration, but as long as it had the desired effect- "Thought somethin' might've happened to ya. Got anythin' to say fer yerself?"

Yondu walks a few more steps towards you, hoping to see your face better, get a read on you.

Downstairs, Peter followed the red trail across the floor slowly with his eyes until they rested on a larger red stain on the first step. Gamora followed his gaze. 'What the hell?' Peter thought, sharing the same sentiment as Gamora without either needing to speak, 'Is that... blood?'

Upstairs, you frown at Yondu. "Clearly nothing happened," you lie, brushing him off. "Now if you excuse me, I'm not feeling well and I'm gonna lie down," you say, satisfied that lie would work just as well for him as it did for the others.

You may just be wanting to avoid being questioned further, but Yondu actually believes you when you say you don't feel well. You look like crap. Even in the dim light you look paler than normal, and almost kinda shaky. But something was still off, he just couldn't put his finger on it...

In haste to get into your room, and satisfied he bought it, you turn away without another word.

In that moment he saw what you didn't even realize you'd been hiding, and he moved quickly to close the distance between you before you could shut yourself in your room.

Of course you aren't going to be feeling well! Not when he can see the damned exit wound through your jacket and the wet stain of what he was sure was blood trailing down the back of your leg.

As for you, you were finally out of steam. You barely even registered his footsteps rapidly approaching. Hell, you didn't even get a good grip on your doorknob. That final turn back to your door proved to be the last straw, causing your vision to swim as your knees gave out.

The sound of your body hitting the floor upstairs snapped Peter's gaze up. He could now make out yours and Yondu's voices, but not what you were saying, just that neither of you seemed to be engaged in a particularly cheerful conversation. Peter uttered the word, "Shit," before running up the stairs, Gamora following close behind.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that something bad had happened. What they didn't understand was just how bad yet, or why you had attempted to hide it.

When Peter and Gamora reached the top of the stairs you were lying on the floor, weakly pulling yourself into a kneeling position. Yondu was frustratedly ordering you to "let him see," but you kept ignoring him.

"What happened?!" Gamora said, more of an order for you to explain than a question.

You barely paid attention to her. You were feeling too dizzy. Why couldn't they see that they needed to let you be?

"Turn that light on, boy!" Yondu ordered.

Peter complied and flipped the switch at the top of the stairs, illuminating the upstairs landing.

This action revealed the same bloody tracks on the floor as downstairs which lead to you, and the blood that soaked the whole side of your shirt as well.

Peter and Yondu both swore at the sight, and Gamora again demanded to know what happened. She cursed herself internally. She knew something had been up, and wished she had listened to her instincts.

"Looks like she's been shot," Yondu answered for you, since you didn't seem interested in answering.

You groaned out that it was fine. It was just a bullet wound- you'd had worse. You could take care of it yourself. You didn't need their help.

Yondu glared at you. "Bullshit," he said, not bothering to ask permission as he forcefully turned you so he could pull back your jacket and take a look at your backside. "Looks like it went all the way through." He said this more to Peter than to you. He, incorrectly, assumed you already knew.

Those words froze you for a moment. All the way through? Oh fuck. You had never checked for an exit wound. Why didn't you check for an exit wound? You knew better than that. Oh hell, that's why this was so bad. You were keeping pressure on only one side of your damn gunshot wound. How much had you bled out?

Shit.

"How did this happen?" Peter demanded, "Who shot you? Where are they?"

Fueled with misplaced anger you found the strength to elbow Yondu away from you and scoot yourself back against the door. You didn't answer his question. Instead, you told him not to worry about it and to leave you be so you could take care of it.

Yondu locked eyes with Gamora and instructed her to call SHIELD before grabbing at you again. You were either stupid, or delusional, and he had his bets placed on the latter. He had a feeling that you had lost way too much blood to think straight. You didn't seem to quite understand the severity of your injury, or that they were trying to help. "Don't you dare fight me, girl!" he said angrily when you smacked his hand. "We're trying to help you, dammit! Look at me, you hear! Let me see your eyes!"

You tried to pull your head away but he wouldn't allow it. He tilted your head back and held each eye open to the light. He then pressed his fingers to your throat and growled at you to 'stop it' when you tried to twist your head away. You make a low whine in response, your eyelids growing heavy. So tired. Your head leans back against the door.

Being a space pirate taught one a few things. One of those things was what could go very wrong if shot or stabbed. Like losing too much blood and going into shock. Ravagers were all taught at least basic first aid. It was often needed in their line of work. Of the things taught were the signs of shock, several of which you were currently presenting. Your skin was clammy and you had lost your color, your pupils were blown wide, your heart rate was rapid, and those were just the signs Yondu was able to see. "Fuck, she's in shock, boy. I'm sure of it," he said.

"Quick, lay her down." Peter said as Gamora thrusted some towels she retrieved from the bathroom at Yondu, still on the phone but now trying to get ahold of Agent Hill after she got a busy tone from Fury.

Lay down? You didn't want to do that. They were just being dramatic, you weren't in shock. Sure, you lost a decent amount of blood, but you walked all the way home, there was no way. Shock? Pfft. You just needed to grab your aid kit, treat the wound, and then you could sleep this off. Sleep was better than the pain. You swatted at Peter's hands, telling him it wasn't that bad.

This, of course, pissed him off. "Stop being an idiot! You need to lay down." he scolded. Peter, having been raised by Ravagers, had also been required to learn first aid and therefore also knew the basics of what to do for shock. He knew they needed to lie you down, try elevate your feet, and stop the bleeding until help could arrive. If only you'd quit fighting them.

"Why the hell is she fighting you?" Rocket asked in the background. He hadn't been able to fall back asleep either, and had been the person showering in the upstairs bathroom when you came up. He had come out just before Gamora rushed in for the towels, and was quite confused by the sight that greeted him on the landing. "Can't she see you're tryin' to help her?"

"I don't need- OOF!"

Suddenly the door opened behind you, cutting your sentence short as you fell on your back and stared up at what appeared to be a shocked and frightened Mantis.

Mantis? Oh that's right. You had forgotten you shared a room with her. Oh... That probably really wouldn't have gone over well if you had succeeded in your plan of hiding out in your room until the bathroom was free and you had entered the room covered in blood. You could only imagine the look on her face. Well, you didn't have to try hard, she was pretty much already wearing that expression.

Mantis's hands were clasped at her chest as she asked what happened to you.

Peter briefly filled her in before asking you again who shot you, only to be met with a choked grunt and a curse as Yondu pressed a rolled up towel under your back to help stop the bleeding of the exit wound you were now too delirious to fully care about.

Seeing Peter frustratedly ask you again, Mantis realized her services may be needed. Kneeling down, she pressed her hands against your temples and Peter looked up at her gratefully as you began to still. He knew she was using her abilities to ease you into a more compliant state.

Gamora now told the others that SHIELD was on their way, ignoring your weak response of "What'd you call them for?"

By now Kraglin and Drax had heard the commotion and came to see what was going on. Upon learning you had been shot Drax offered to go find the person responsible and return the favor by ripping out their spine.

You let out a short whimper, your eyes fluttering as you tried to stay conscious. "Please don't," you say, a hint of desperation in your voice that made the others exchange glances. "It was just an accident. They were just kids. They don't even know they shot me."

"How could they not know they shot you?!" Peter said incredulously.

"They thought I was a fox," you answer weakly, "I couldn't risk anyone coming here and finding you lot, so I hid... threw a rock for distraction... laid down until they were gone." You left out the bit about passing out, certain it would make them more fussy. "It was just an accident... I swear..." Your voice was getting weaker and Peter lightly slapped your cheek a couple times, telling you to stay with them. He could ask how they hell they thought you were a fox later. You only weakly responded with, "You're safe..."

He looked up at Mantis, his brow furrowed. "Can you keep her awake?"

Mantis bit her lip and shook her head. "I can't. She's weakening."

You tilted your head back slightly to look at her, wondering what she meant, but at the same time losing your ability to make much sense of what anyone was saying. Your eyes fluttered once more. So tired.

Peter tapped your cheek again, telling you to keep your eyes open.

You couldn't.

#gotg #gotg fanfiction #guardians of the galaxy #x reader #mantis #gamora #peter quill #kraglin #yondu udonta #starlord #drax #rocket racoon and groot

114 notes · View notes