#i only found out a few years ago but im still holding a grudge in your honor🙏

[drkcnry67]

Feeling better my darling?

title: feeling better my darling?

Pairing: John Winchester x reader

Spn fluff: breakfast in bed

Tags: none i can think of at this time

created for @spnfluffbingo @sweetness47

summery: not telling

john was hunting the same wolf as you, he had ran into you in the hunters moon bar... he found out you were both hunting the same thing.

he offered to team up with you, you graciously accepted for you didnt know how it would all go if you continued by yourself.

john: so how long have you been hunting?

yn: since i could walk pretty much, i wasnt allowed to fight till i was like 10, but i was raised into this life. i did all the research and everything but i always seem to screw up a hunt when im on my own... which is like all the time.

john: where are your parents now?

you looked down and sighed...

yn: they were killed in action 5 years ago... they were overseas on some sort of top secret family emergency thing... they wouldnt even tell me about it... only that they would return once the job was done. but a month later i was called to the airport saying there was something i had to see. when i got there they were unloading my parents bodies in caskets. i broke down, i tried to hold it together but all i could do was call my aunt, all i could do was sob into the phone.

you felt the tears threatening to spill, but johns finger came up and wiped the tears away, for now the beast was close to your local, this was no time to loose your cool.

john: lets get this done and whatever you do, dont do anything reckless.

yn: sometimes wreckless is the only way to get the hunt done, thats what i was taught... its what my parents instilled into me.

john: lets do this together and be careful as we possibly can.

You and John crept right into the camp, but saw nothing, neither of you were fully aware that while you were stalking the werewolf, it was stalking you...

John and you stopped dead in your tracks cause you both heard a growl behind you.

John: don't move baby girl.

Yn: I couldn't even if I wanted too, my foot is caught in a trap....

John's eyes looked down slightly to see your foot in a bear trap...

John: hold tight baby girl...

There it was again your ears heard those words again... was he trying to confess his feelings subtly and yet obvious at the same time...

John turned around and lit the werewolf on fire throwing a can of hairspray in the campfire... sure it leveled a few trees but it was worth it.

John: alright baby girl, now that one is dead the rest of them can't be too far we gotta get out of here...

Yn: are you calling me baby girl cause its fun or cause your in love with me...

John's eyes met with your own, it was the first time someone had been straight to the point blunt with him since Mary...

John: cause I'm in love with you... I feel like I've been given a second chance at love...

Yn: well lets deal with getting my foot out of this trap and then we will discuss this further...

John puts his bag on the ground and uses a variety of tools to dismember the trap... he then takes off his shirt and wraps your very swollen and bloody foot in it... he then piggy backs you as he carries you back to the car.

John: we need to get out of here...

Yn: I haven't anyplace to stay yet, I was just planning on heading to my aunts after this...

John looks at you once he stops at the highway...

John: who's your aunt?

Yn: Ellen harvelle...

John laughs and holds your hand the entire drive...

John: I know her well, her husband and I used to hunt together all the time. So I guess her daughter and you hunt sometimes.

Yn: ya when aunt Ellen lets her, most times she keeps jo at home... but I dunno how she's gonna be with me bringing you home...

John: it's been at least 10 years since I last saw Ellen... I hope she isn't still harboring a grudge...

Within a few hours you felt weak from the blood loss, but you passed out just as John pulled into the roadhouse, got out of the car, scooped you into his arms, and carried you inside.

John: Ellen, please help me...

Ellen and jo come out from behind the kitchen, while ash comes off of the pool table all stunned to see John and an unconscious you.

Ellen: jo grab the first aid kit and a clean pair of clothes for YN. Ash lock the door and prepare the upstairs room...

Ellen comes to help John bring the bags and stuff upstairs considering John was already carrying you he was doing pretty well.

Ellen: John come speak with me a moment... ash make sure the bar is clean before you continue whatever you were doing. Jo get yn into something dry and clean her wound.

John though hesitant To leave yn Alone he went outside the room with Ellen to speak about what had transpired that evening.

John: It's been a long time

Ellen: Indeed Now What happened to my niece?

John: Ellen you cannot argue with fate

Ellen then realizes what John is saying and slaps him cross the cheek

Ellen: John winchester what the fuck is wrong with you don't you have a conciance

John: yes but I feel like She is my second chance at a happy life. besides you can't argue with the fates or Whoever makes up the rules.

Ellen: John If this is truly what you both wish then your way besides the girl deserves to be happy.

John just smiled he knew that one chance at happy for hunters was better then none!

Ellen: I suppose you wanna stay with her

John: If I have your permission to do so, with discretion of course.

Ellen: meh, we are all family here... besides your boys were right about one thing...

John: you saw my boys...

Ellen: ya and they are looking for you... now I would scold you for not speaking to your boys if I couldn't tell that you were anxious to get back to yn!

Ellen moved so John could go back to your room, John switched Places with Jo who left the room closing the door behind her.

Jo: yn is gonna be fine, we need to finish calming down and closing up for the night.

Ellen knew her smart daughter was right but she also still kinda worried about you. Inside the room, you lay in bed your leg bandaged and propped up with pillows.

Your soft snores filled the room as John slept by your bedside the entire night, in a chair his head on the bed, he was determined to make this confession to you as smooth and romantic as possible.

It was 8 and a half almost 9 hours later when John woke to a small knock at the door, he went over and opened it to see Jo carrying a tray of food and drinks and flowers.

Jo: is she still asleep.

John: for now... did you guys do this for us?

Jo: that's how we harvelles do our business. Tell yn she is very lucky to have a man like you.

With that last word jo handed the tray to john and left pulling the door shut... john turned to see you stiring..

You sat up to see John standing at the door holding a tray of food drink and flowers.

John: morning...

Yn: good morning, I guess I owe you my thanks...

John: it is I who should thank you for the most exciting night last night.. it was the most fun I've had in years.

Yn: I hope we can speak Freely, I kinda have a confession to make.

John places the tray on the bed and sits down in the chair beside the bed to allow you to continue to speak

Yn: It was no coincidence that we ended up on that hunt together, Ellen had received word from another hunter that you were spotted headed that way. I'll admit I'd heard tales of the great John winchester who hunts anything and everything he has to to keep his family safe. And I'll also admit I fell for you as soon as I spotted you in the bar, yes I saw you before you saw me... I just didn't know how to tell you or when to tell you. But your my chance at happiness John, I feel it in my soul and in my heart. Also we worked well together...

Before you could Say anything John moves the tray of food and leans over to place a kiss to your lips before he speaks

John: whew that's a relief, who knew that you would be my second chance. Now as your new boyfriend I don't have to be strict and ban you from hunting till your completely healed do I?

Yn: as long as I'm with you I'm fine with whatever. Plus breakfast looks and smells incredible.

John laughs and strokes the back of your hand.

John: ya confession time Ellen and jo made breakfast jo delivered it... I can't cook worth a damn right now.

Yn: ya I kinda figured jo and Ellen had a hand in this.. it's the roadhouse special. It's amazing but it's even better cold. Come on out of that chair and on to the bed with me we shouldn't be as astranged as we were yesterday.

John took off his sweater and shoes and Crawled in on your other side. His arms enveloped you and soon you fell asleep again. It was the beginning of the rest of your life and the beginning of your happily ever after!

[im-still-watching-anime]

naruto: ugh how is sasuke so COOL

sakura: i know right? prodigies are just plain unfair

naruto: huh? oh. yeah i guess the prodigy uchiha thing is cool too but i was thinking about the worm he found the other day. i found a neat stick but it wasn’t nearly as impressive. :(

[sunnysunnyrose]

trevor philips headcanons

trevor philips x fem!reader headcanons

(might make this into a full on fic with multiple parts? im sorry its so detailed lol i got carried away, i love trevor)

a lil backstory; it was always you, michael and trevor against the world. committing crimes, losing police and doing crazy heists, all the money you could ever want.

you were the youngest of the three, only just being twenty when you were all together, living this extreme lifestyle.

but that last heist where you lost michael [or so u think ;)] whilst you were bleeding out to death made you realise it wasn’t worth it anymore. you managed to make a great escape with trevor.

trevor had to be the one to look after you, which he did and the two of you tried to move past everything. at least you had each other to help grieve michael.

fast forward to now

you live next door to trevor in your own trailer (of course yours is actually nice and homey and comfortable and clean) and you work part time in the liquor store down the road so you have an actual reliable income

its just you, trevor, wade and ron sorta against the world (mostly you and trevor)

that man is hella protective of you; he will kill literally anything that hurts you in the slightest

you argue sometimes because trevor doesn't think before he speaks and accidentally says stupid dumb stuff that hurts you and then is like ????? why u upset woman

and trevor never really says sorry (unless sarcastically) so he just waits for you to talk to him again or go up to your trailer and keep bothering you and yelling till you tell him to stop

he calls you pet names a lot

he likes to call you sugar tits cause he knows it annoys you :)

will often refer to you as ‘my girl’

“there's my favourite girl”

“be a good girl for me y/n-”

in your bedroom, just above your bed you have a couple photos of you and michael, you and trevor and one with all three of you from, all from your younger days

and a couple other little things like torn pieces of paper with writing on it from trevor (i mean it's a smiley face but it still counts) or a very old one from michael from years ago

a few months back you had a framed picture of you, trevor and michael which brad had taken years ago and it sat on your counter by your kitchen

and trevor, ron and wade were at your trailer all drunk and high (them not you)

and trevor was drunk and angry about something you couldn't remember and then he saw the photo on the side in a fit of drunken rage he shoved everything on the floor with a loud smash and loud groan and walked out the trailer

tears welled your vision and wade and ron watched as you slowly walked to the smashed photo in between all the other broken things scattered on the floor and sat on your knees

“I-i-i sure he d-didn mean it y/n!” you remember ron said to you and you didn't respond so the two guys took it as a cue to leave.

that was the longest you ever went without speaking to trevor, almost 2 weeks.

one morning you found a tacky gift bag outside your door and inside was a photo frame, obviously from the store down the road but it made you smile slightly, you knew who it was from.

trevor also has another nickname for you, ‘beautiful’ he uses it playfully, in conversation, sort of wherever

It would be a lie if i said that trevor and you have never kissed. because you have a lot, you still do sometimes (mostly when drinking).

oh and you and trevor has slept together, more than once. maybe a few times a month, once a week - who knows??????

trevor still gets a little jealous whenever you mention michael cause there was a time where you and michael slept together and michael obviously had a thing for you but he’s dead and has been for a long time but its just trevor y’know. man can hold a grudge.

your relationship dynamic is confusing because you don't see each other as going out but you're obviously in love with one another but you’ve just never have had that conversation and you probably won't.

as much of an asshole he is, he’s your best friend and you wouldn't have anyone without him.

[ravysu]

Sannin headcanons and thoughts

The last thing I would like to post for the sannin week. It is still 24.04 here! :D @sannin-central

This is long. Spoiler alert. Mostly Orochimaru, some Tsunade, a little of Jiraiya (because his story is pretty clear and spoken and idk what I can add). Also I recommend to read this meta about Orochimaru, it has influenced me a lot and has some good points. Sorry for any posible grammar mistakes. Also I really should put here a lot of references to the manga or anime but it was something that was piling up for a year and I'm soooooooo lazy. After all, those are just headcanons. Also: Im not excusing Oro's bad stuff here, Im trying to understand the reasons.

Ive already posted some hcs, here, here and here.

1. First if all, the chronology pic of sannin lifetime based on the info i found on naruto wiki and also some statements about wars from this post. It was tough considering what a mess naruto’s chronology is.

2. Sannin story shows what it cost to be a legend. They're like Team 7 but more realistic. Tsunade literally carried the war but left with nothing and developed a ptsd and have problems to just live on. Also anger control issues. I think she can be pretty bossy and stubborn which is not always nice. Jiraiya is the hero of the day but also very idealistic and can ignore some important details in the real word whether its the fight (he always injured during flashbacks maybe because each time he took too much to handle and on the one hand it's heroistic but on the other is a mistake that can lead your team to situations like in that Iwa cave) or your friends issues (I bet he saw what's going on but thought it's fine until Oro actually got red handed and left). He lives in his world and may have problems to get out to see it through someone else's shoes. As for Orochimaru, it seems like he was a normal guy for 20+ years (I mean, he didn't do crazy criminal shit and had something good in him and it was stated somewhere that it was his teammates influence. It is obvious they considered him as a friend, I don't thinks it was for nothing) but we mostly know his darkest side. Despite being a moster he is a human that have empathy and some ordinary human traits (man just decorates every bit of an environment he is in lol).

3. Tsunade was the leader of team Hiruzen.

4. Tsunade sometimes hit Jiraiya for some stupid things he did or said but never touches Orochimaru even if he did something same. Jiraiya complained about it once and almost got another hit.

5. Jiraiya had problematic parents that didn't care about him much and a lot of time he was wandering in the streets.

6. Judging by the look of Oro bangs and hair, he sometimes cut it off. A stress relief huh? And the fact that he doesn't do it now in Boruto..

7. It was shown that Tsunade and Orochimaru was acknowledged before they become a team. Maybe they did just before, or maybe some longer time before. I prefer the second option and hc that they met because both had no real friends - Orochimaru seemed weird and scary for everyone and Tsunade was Senju so everyone wanted to hang out with her but didn't really care. They weren't seen as what they were - people put the labels on them. But they didn't care about each other's labels and actually saw each other in true lights.

8. Tsunade knew it was an accident and it's not right but still she blamed Orochimaru for Nawaki's death for some time. It was something that seriously damaged their friendship and the team. Orochimaru was mad but also guilty, after all, he was responsible at least as a shinobi since Nawaki was under his watch. So he started to act cold and emotionless and was trying to distance himself from his teammates.

9. Jiraiya was in Ame while Dan died.

10. The whole his orphans mission was a bit irresponsible tbh. They already fought Hanzo and as he stated the conflict between Konoha and Ame is going to an end with Konoha's win. It's weird to stay here for three years in the middle of the war while there were other lands to fight. He left his teammates for some idea. Maybe that caused another crack in their team friendship.

11. If Tsunade would have find a way to live on with her trauma and follow the will of fire and stuff it would affect Orochimaru as well just as her grief affected him. It's like he would get an example that you can live on with this pain. So death isn't above human capability and we are not just the slaves of mortality (sounds stupid but i dont know how else to describe sorry). But as we know what he actually saw is that it broke her crucially to the point she couldnt be herself again. And so the death is above everything.

12. Oro wasn’t just acting as a cold pragmatic bitch in that cave but also tried to save Tsunade. Jiraiya knew it and that’s why he showed this sign to him like "I see what youre doing here" and that stunned Oro because he would prefer to look rather like a cold pragmatic bitch hehe

13. Just a thought. People in the village probably treated Oro as a foreigner or just wouldnt accept him because he looked so differently and had a weird attitude. That's why he sometimes didn't feel that Konoha is his home. After the wars where people were treated as means and tools, even the children, he himself developed this view on people - he dehumanized them and used as the means to his goals, just as his village did. Funny thing some people were straightly dehumanizing him too like Ibiki thought that he was a demon (tho he was a child). And he probably weren't the only one. Anyways the point is that it's logical that Orochimaru don't care about anybody but some few people, he's the product of his era. He's like Naruto that would chose the hatred way. But naruto had some good and understanding people around him and.. Orochimaru had them too, but match how Iruka treated Naruto and this Hiruzen's "I sAw tHe mAliCe in This cHiLd fRoM tHe BegGinNinG". And oro didn't even have a big ass evil fox in him. sry i hate hiruzen

ANYWAYS the moral of the story is not "go criminal if they hurt you" but always treat people like people. Waving my hand to Kant.

14. The reason why Orochimaru didn't pick some good morals to stick with through the hard times no matter what (like, idk, Jiraiya or Naruto) is because 1) I think he is/was pretty depending on people around him 2) the war fucked him and his friends up too much (Nawaki incident + Tsunade) 3) twisted addictions (though I don't think he's that sadistic, we never saw him torturing randoms just for fun, it was always some science experimental shit. He tends to get fun out of cruelty only when it's personal) that maybe developed as a way to sublimate anger and sadness caused by his parents loss (that's what they share with sasuke - unlicke naruto, they knew their parents and it's other kind of pain. Sasuke developed a revenge issue and Orochimaru - cruelty pleasure which... is kinda the same but less epic and more occasional lol).

15. Speaking of that, Orochimaru cared for Sasuke because he saw himself in him.

16. Oro hold grudges against Hiruzen for not choosing him to be Hokage not only because he was ambitious and/or egoistic, but also because Hiruzen was some kind of a father figure for him and his approval was important tho i doubt he was aware of that. He also probably could tell that Hiruzen was suspicios about him when he was a child and that led to many conflicts and was hurting as well.

17. Tsunade knew things weren't pretty with Orochimaru after the wars but she never expected them to be this bad. During the week that she was given in her arc she thought not only about how much she wants to see Nawaki and Dan again despite how wrong would it be but also was trying to bury all the good memories she had left of Orochimaru so it would be easier to kill him.

18. She poisoned Jiraiya exactly because she knew he would not let her do it. Jiraiya was always hesitant to kill and inclined to forgiveness, while Tsunade, as mentioned by Orochimaru, could be merciless (so much so that he was not surprised when Kabuto suggested that she wanted to use Jira for Edo Tensei).

19. That was one of her traits that scared Jiraiya and fascinated Orochimaru.

20. Remember how Oro grabbed Jiraiya's neck when the latter was trying to cover with hair jutsu? On the snake, in Tsnade's arc. Orochimaru could have easily kill Jiraiya by pulling the sword out of the mouth (arteries are right there) but he didn't. As well as he could kill Tsunade when she was still shaking - just aim for the neck or the heart. Instead, he just injured her lung and kicked her which is not a big deal for the kind of shinoby like her at all.. Also he helped Anko not accidentally kill herself but it would be way much profitable to let her do it. "Orochimaru has no feelings".

21. The reason he suddenly wanted to kill Tsunade instead of forcing her to heal his arms as it was planned (which is weird since it will not going to get him heals and he kinda said that he wouldn't want to kill her just minutes ago) is that not only she refused to help him (he thought he could work it out) but she also prefered the village over him (from his point of view). Out if everyone she was the closest to being able to understand him since the village caused her painful losses too but nevertheless she agreed to be on it's side.

22. He wasn't fighting her back in the end partly because he thought he deserved that. Somewhere deep inside hahah.

23. Tsunade got a fear to develop deep bonds so they probably weren't very close with Shizune (also the way she knocked her down in this hotel.. oh).

24. Orochimaru will be here when she'll die.

25. Orochimaru's eng dub to Tsunade: "I often wondered what it would be like to ring that pretty neck yours". No comments.

26. Orochimaru is either bi/pan or ace. Anything or nothing lmao

27. Hiruzen knew about at least some of the Oro’s illegal experiments and was okay just as he was okay with the Foundation all the time. Because it’s useful. Then he has discovered he went too far OR he knew everything and oro just became too inconvenient because of his methods. The way Orochimaru tells Sasuke about reasons they are well treated as the criminals is based on in his experience with Hiruzen.

28. As you may know the lyrics in Orochimaru’s music theme goes “don’t talk with the silence of the heart”. It was taken from one Indian song that also had lines like “don’t question life too much”, ”pain arose somewhere in the chest”, “don’t speak to the wounds of the heart”. Though I’m not sure 100% because I was translating it with some hindi dictionary with like zero knowledge of hindi

29. I like to think that this “silence of the heart” theme and the fact that he called his village a hidden sound village are somehow connected. The hidden sound is the possible explanation of all things waiting to be listened to but the truth is silent and you know it deep in your heart and it bothers you. The world is silent just like the life is meaningless but people can only hear. *Sigh* anyways

30. Orochimaru’s journey is the one about accepting death. When he saw Karin released her chains while was trying to get to Sasuke he understood that the death is a part of human’s strength.

Can’t wait to feel that everything I wrote is wrong or not enough or stupid and obvious lol. Anyways, it’s something that I wanted to share until I move to some other fandom.

[mizunetzu]

PART 3 OF ITS YOUR FAULT PLS !!!! I LOVE IT EKDBJSHD

Well since y’all asked so nicely-

——————

Kuroo x reader - it’s your fault (pt. 3) (final)

⚠️warnings - angst

Pronouns - male, he/him

part 1 can be found here!

part 2 can be found here!

——————

Sports sucks. That’s what Kuroo knew about (y/n), yet he still egged him on to play volleyball with him. He had a choice to say no, which was what younger him was hoping for, yet he still did it in hope of gaining his affection.

All his life he thought he was annoying. All his life he’d been in the mindset of how annoying he was, and how blissful it would’ve been for him to just disappear off the face of the earth.

So when (y/n) suddenly stopped showing up to practice, Kuroo didn’t expect himself to get worried.

He was starting to miss all the clingy touches, or the ‘good morning, Kuroo-kun!’ every single morning practice. He didn’t realize how quiet the walk was to his classes, or to and from home, when (y/n) wasn’t there to fill the noise on random things he found cool or how his day was. He didn’t know how expensive the drink (y/n) religiously bought him from the vending machine was, even though he bought him the drink with a smile plastered on his face like it was nothing.

“Oh, (y/n)? He quit the team.”

Kuroo dropped the volleyball he was holding. He’d gone up to coach nekomata to ask where (y/n) was, and why he wasn’t showing up to practice. But he was regretting asking in the first place. Nekomata gave him a sympathetic look.

Kuroo picked up his volleyball, gave him the best smile he could afford, and walked away. Why was he so devastated? Why did his heart feel like it sunk into his stomach? Why was his chest hurting like that? He should’ve been glad that (y/n) was finally gone.

So why does his heart hurt so much?

————

Kuroo figured he’d stop by his apartment to see what was going on. It’s been weeks, yet he couldn’t find him anywhere in his classrooms, and he nor Kenma could reach him on his phone.

When he walked up the stairs, looking for the ever familiar door to his apartment, he was nervous. For once in his life when going to talk to the boy, he was nervous. It wasn’t a good feeling, he never felt nervous to talk to him before.

When he noticed the door slightly ajar, he clutched the apology basket of sweets in his hand tighter. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to apologize for, though. Maybe for yelling at him, or maybe for something else.

“...hello? (Y-y/n)?” When he opened the door, he was met face to face with construction workers, and a blank apartment. Kuroos heart stopped beating. A man, who Kuroo believes was the apartment owner, looked at Kuroo, to his schools jacket, and down to his basket saying “I’m sorry (y/n) :(“

“Oh? Are you here for that (h/c)-haired kid?” Kuroo nodded vigorously.

“Sorry bud. He moved out a few days ago.” Kuroo couldn’t hide the devastated frown from tugging at his lips. He mumbled a small “sorry” and spedwalked out of the building.

He spammed (y/n’s) phone, probably texting more than he ever did his whole life combined, with “where are you’s” and “hey look I’m sorry, okay? Please answer me’s”

None of them were even read.

Kenma didn’t react well to knowing one of his best friends moved away so suddenly. Unlike Kuroo, (y/n) was good friends with him, practically attached to the hip. When Kuroo told him he couldn’t find (y/n) at his apartment, Kenma clutched his ds harder and glared at the screen like it was it’s fault for making him disappear.

But as much as Kenma blamed the ds, they both knew it was Kuroos fault.

———

Kuroo strived to be a better person. He came to terms with his feelings for (y/n), and how he could never repeat his mistake again.

He grew to love (y/n), and he messed it up so bad.

He’d be sure to never lead anyone on again, minus when he’d lead his team to victory as their new captain. He’d try and hold less grudges, tell someone when he doesn’t like them, as to let them down easy instead of blowing up in their face, and even bought his team snacks and filled up their water bottles during practice.

Kuroo walked around the unknown streets of miyagi, scanning his eyes for a mop of bleached hair. He knew Kenma got distracted on his phone, but this was excessive, even for him.

Eventually, his eyes landed on two bright figures. Kenmas usual bright blond hair, and a tuft of orange next to him.

“Kenma!”

Kenmas head whipped up, and he shut off his phone, but then a flash of (h/c) came into his peripherals. He looked a little further down and locked eyes with someone who made his throat close up.

(Y/n).

He looked older. Not in the way that he looks physically older, but he carried himself with a somewhat mature, grown stance that made Kuroo so a double take. His hair was slightly longer and he was wearing a black team jacket instead of the red Nekoma jacket he used to wear. Shocked (e/c) colored eyes morphed into an expression of pure resentment, making Kuroos shocked happiness short lived. Kenma walked up next to him, about to ask what happened when Kuroo turned his head away, walking with his head down.

Kenma waved bye to Hinata, when his eyes landed on (y/n). He was talking to a silver headed guy, with a distasteful frown directed at Kuroo. He didn’t say anything though, just ducked his head and walked beside his captain.

———

(Y/n) kept his eyes fixed on the ground, as Nekoma and Karasuno stood in a line, facing eachother. Kenma was practically standing in front of him, shocked to the core, but also averting his gaze. Not just because (y/n), but Hinata next to the boy was staring at him with his mouth agape.

Eventually everyone filed into the gym, Hinata stopping Kenma to talk, while taketora eyed him menacingly. (Y/n) side-eyed the little interaction with an unwanted jealousy. He wanted to talk to Kenma, he WAS his childhood and best friend. But it soon dissipated when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

That jealousy turned into hatred.

“Can we talk, (y/n)?”

(Y/n) slapped Kuroos hand away and stepped past him, pushing him back slightly with his shoulder.

“Don’t call me that. You have no right. It’s

(L/n).”

Kuroo watched as (y/n) stepped into the gym, his lips pressed into a fine line.

—————

(Y/n) sat on a bench in the corner with an obviously closed off aura, watching as people set up the net or the players from both schools talked to eachother. He walked as Kuroo shook hands with Daichi, not noticing the mop of bleached hair sit himself next to him. (Y/n) flinched when he felt something brush his shoulder.

He whipped his head around to find Kenma, sitting right next to him, but looking straight in front of him. He said nothing, and fiddled with his fingers. Guess he didn’t change, even after a new school year.

(Y/n) relaxed a bit and went back to stalking his team and old teammates with a somewhat less intimidating aura. They sat in heavy silence for what seemed like forever, until (y/n) coughed into his Karasuno jacket.

“S-so how you been Ke-“

“So you’re just not gonna tell me why you left?”

Kenma was looking straight at (y/n), with his normal, neutral gaze. It looked like his normal face, but (y/n) knew how hurt he was. He understood, though. He would be hurt too if his best friend moved without saying goodbye.

“I’m...I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

More silence consumed them. Sounds of sneakers squeaking and the rustle of the net being hung up seemed to vanish under the cloud of quiet sheltering them. Kenma stood up.

“I’m not mad. But I know why you left. And I’m not saying it’s a stupid reason, but you should talk to him.”

Kenma walked away without another word, leaving (y/n) to trail his eyes over to his old teammate, now captain. The frown that summoned up on his face came naturally, despite taking Kenmas words to heart.

He also stood up, brushing himself off and turning his cheery attitude back on. Why play a game with a frown when you’re about to destroy your old team?

—————

(Y/n) wasn’t mad he lost. He was actually quite satisfied with ticking off some of his old teammates by receiving spikes or feints no one saw coming. He sort of felt like an inside man. A spy even. It wasn’t enough to secure a win, but (y/n) never really cared for that.

Everyone was bidding their new friends goodbye, or just idly standing by. He promised Kenma to unblock his number, but only if they never talked about Kuroo again. (Y/n) knew he was being petty, but if it meant never talking to that piece of shit again, so be it-

“Stop ignoring me.”

Speak of the fucking devil. (Y/n) didn’t turn around, choosing to clutch the edge of his black jacket instead.

“Then stop trying to fix a friendship that never existed, Kuroo.”

“Oi!” Kuroo grabbed onto (y/n’s) shoulder harshly, pulling him back and making him stumble a little. (Y/n) pried and clawed at Kuroos iron hard grip. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed Kuroos touch, a lot.

“Can we please have a civilized fucking conversation? I’m fuckin begging you here!”

“Stop fucking cursing and let go of me you fuckass scheming bitch!”

(Y/n) swung at Kuroos head, but avertedly missed. He wasn’t sure if he missed on purpose, or if Kuroo ducked. Kuroo grabbed onto (y/n’s) waist, earning a choked squeak, and hauled him over his shoulder. Kuroo looked for a secluded area, ignoring the fists digging repeatedly into his back and the confused stares he got passing by his team and (y/n’s) teammates.

Kuroo practically threw (y/n) off his back, him stumbling down and hitting the back of a wall a bit harshly, and trapped him between his body and the wall. Both of his hands were on either side of (y/n’s) head, and his legs were long enough to trap him in if he tried to escape.

(Y/n) shrunk back into the wall ever so slightly, but kept the scowl present on his face. Kuroo pursed his lips and sighed.

“(Y/n)-“

“Let me go. I don’t wanna tal-“

“GODDAMNIT (Y/N) IM BUSTING MY BALLS HERE TO TELL YOU THAT IM SORRY!” Kuroo slammed his hands against the wall again, earning a surprised flinch from the smaller boy. “FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! PLEASE!”

Kuroos eyes softened a bit when he finally met eyes with (y/n’s) petrified form, cowering against the wall with his arms tucked in shakily. (Y/n) was quick to push past Kuroo though, diving past him and turning around, free from the wall.

“You see-this is what I fucking hate about you! You act so slick and perfect to the point where you lead people on to think they mean something important to you! I wanted to be a writer, Kuroo! I gave that up to spend my time bouncing a fucking volleyball around with you, and what did I get?! Nothing! I only did it for your stupid friendship, yet I didn’t even get that!”

(Y/n) practically had steam rolling out up his ears, and his words dripped with pure hatred with each retort. Kuroo opened his mouth to speak, but (y/n) beat him to it.

“So if you really want to apologize, give me back the blood sweat and tears I wasted on this stupid volleyball shit!”

(Y/n) punched at Kuroos chest with trembling hands. He kept punching and hitting Kuroo until Kuroo gently grabbed his wrists and pulled him into a hug. Kuroo felt him balling his fists into his back, trying to push him away, but he knew he was stronger. (Y/n’s) mouth was muffled by the cloth of Kuroos shirt, yet he still kicked and screamed at the top of his lungs.

“LET ME GO! I WANT MY CHILDHOOD BACK! I WANT ALL THE YEARS I COULD’VE BEEN WRITING OR LITERALLY BE DOING SOMETHING I ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKE BACK! ITS YOUR FAULT! ITS YOUR FAULT THAT MY ARMS HURT EVERYDAY! ITS YOUR FAULT I GAVE UP ON WRITING! ITS YOUR FAULT! I HATE YOU! I HATE VOLLEYBALL! I FUCKING HATE YOU! I hate you! I-I hate...I....”

Yelling turned into incoherent sobs as (y/n’s) punches died out into love taps. Kuroo said nothing, rubbing circles onto (y/n’s) back, who finally gave up and weakly wrapped his arms around Kuroos waist. He stained Kuroo with his salty tears, choking out half assed “let me go”s in between hics and sobs like a broken record.

They stood like that in comfortable silence, Kuroo combing fingers through (y/n’s) hair while the smaller boys sobs turned into occasional sniffles. Kuroo rocked gently from side to side, attempting to calm him down until he was ready to talk.

“I just wanted to be your friend, stupid Kuroo...” his words were barely understandable through the cracks and sniffles of his voice-also being muffled by Kuroos chest-but the taller boy heard every word as clear as day. He rested his chin on top of (y/n’s) head, looking off to the side.

“Sorry. If it means anything, I was stupid enough to hold a childhood grudge against you. You did nothing wrong. I just...i was dumb and disliked you because I thought you were lazy and annoying even though you were anything but that and...yeah. Sorry.”

Kuroo pulled away from the hug, the cold air hitting (y/n) like a truck. He silently whined at the loss of contact, wiping away stray tears with his team jacket. Kuroo awkwardly held his hands behind his back, his tongue suddenly feeling too big to fit comfortably in his mouth.

“...I’m sorry too.”

(Y/n) averted his gaze, his eyes half lidded and puffy from crying. Kuroo looked at (y/n) with a blank expression.

“Why?”

“For um...being annoying or something. And like...bitching a lot. I’m sorr-.”

Kuroo grabbed hold of (y/n’s) shoulders and shook him violently. “Don’t apologize! You don’t have anything to be sorry for! It’s my fault! Let me take the blame!”

“God shut up you’re gonna make me cry again.”

“...sorry.”

Kuroo looked like a kicked puppy, which made (y/n) burst into a fit of laughter. Kuroos ears perked up as he was graced with the sight of (y/n) wiping happy tears off his face and clutching his stomach. It was a beautiful sight, so beautiful that it made Kuroos chest tighten.

Chuckles died out into snickers as (y/n) huffed and leaned against the wall.

“So-what are we? Friends?”

Kuroo hesitantly nodded, watching (y/n’s) face intently for any sign of protest. When (y/n) broke out into a smile, Kuroo felt like he was on cloud nine. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders after so long. He felt like he was flying.

“We should probably head back. I gotta go back to my schoo-“

“Yeah. Yeah that’s probably..smart...”

It was kind of bittersweet knowing you had to say goodbye to someone you just got your hands back on, but after (y/n) unblocked his number right infront of him before enveloping him in a hug, he supposed it was alright.

“Bye~! call me~” (y/n) mouthed out, stepping onto the bus. People started asking him if he was crying, or what that meltdown was about, but he just shrugged and put some earbuds in with a reserved smile.

Sports sucks. That’s the mindset (y/n) has, and probably will have forever.

But not when I’m with you.

——————

Epilogue:

“(Y/n)!” Kuroo ran up behind the boy and picked him up, twirling him around before setting him down. Tsukishima visibly gagged while Yamaguchi snickered behind him, stepping off the bus and preparing for the training camp.

“Yo! What’s up! God I missed you and your stupid hair.”

“I missed you too~”

...

“So...are we-“

“Yeah, that’s what we said on video chat right? I mean-if you meant it and all.”

“I DID!” Kuroo picked his new boyfriend up, this time placing a chaste kiss on the bridge of his nose.

“And god I love you so much.”

——————

And that’s it!! I hope you enjoyed this series!! Also thank you for 100 followers!! I’m so thankful!!

[cwispyhologwam]

Admit it. Rick Sanchez X F!Reader

Word count: 2,382

Rick was... out of it, I guess you could say he was still himself, but not really he just seemed, off. When Morty tried to ask if anything was wrong, Rick would respond in a "normal" Rick way but, it seemed forced. It was barely noticeable but he could tell, even though after Rick basically told him to fuck off he dropped it. It was just after the whole incident with Unity, which didn't make sense to Morty because it seemed like Rick had gotten what he needed and wanted from her, or it, or they, he didn't really know how to refer to the entity, but that's besides the point.

He had spent the whole night in the garage when Morty woke up for school the next morning he found his grandfather passed out at his work bench with a strange device looming over his head. Morty didn't know why but looking at it sent dread coursing through his body, he had a feeling he knew someone who could help him and his grandpa. She was... Rick's friend? (Y/n) (L/n), well honestly he didn't know what their relationship was at the moment, because a few years ago she used to visit daily but again that was years ago, he thinks they might have gotten in a fight or something. But if anyone could help him, it was her.

So he asked his mom to give him a ride to her house, but it took some convincing because what mother wouldn't question why her 14 year old son is going to a 23 year olds house by himself, like what kinda porn set up type bullshit, but after he explained his concerns for his grandpa she agreed. Once he got there he told his mom he would get a ride home and she complied and left. He rang the doorbell of the large house and waited, once the door opened he felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs.

She was absolutely gorgeous, her (S/C) skin looked so beautiful in the sun's light and her (long,short,medium) (straight,curly,wavey, kinky) (H/C) hair was beautiful. She was (Tall/short) and (Skinny,medium,thick) it made Morty wonder if her and Rick were ever more than friends at one point. What really got to him was what she was wearing, it was a matching set, a long sleeve sweater and shorts  "Morty? Hello? You alright there kid?" He snapped out of his trance and nodded "Sorry, and sorry again for showing up unannounced but i need your help."

She looked at him for a couple of seconds before sighing "Listen first come in it's weird talking outside like this, and second, if this has anything to do with Sanchez I'm sorry but i can't help you." He frowned, why did she call him Sanchez? And why did her (E/C) eyes look so sad when she said it? He came in and she led him to her living room where they sat on the couch "So what happened?" He asked her, he really thought if he knew why she suddenly stopped talking to Rick he would be able to help "Morty, i guarantee if Rick is going through something right now it hasn't got anything to do with me, we haven't talked in years."

How did she know? "How do you know that's the problem?" he asked, she giggled playfully rolling her eyes at him "Rick and i used to work together, well if you could really even call it that, it was more like working next to each other and having conversations. But we were also intimate with each other and i know the only reason you would be here without him is because there's a problem concerning him."

His eyes widened if Rick worked with her that could only mean that she was a genius too, so if they were partners and lovers in one way or another then how could she not be the problem? But then again they hadn't talked in years. She was right there was no way she could be the cause of his grandpa acting strange. With that he felt pretty much defeated, what now? He didn't know how to contact anyone else or even who to talk to, it took him almost two weeks just to find her and she lived on earth there was no way in fuck he’d be able to get in contact with anyone else without Rick.

"So what do i do now (Y/N)? I just want grandpa Rick to go back to normal, I can tell he’s faking being his old self." He sighed and dropped his head, his shoulders slumped, he resembled a kicked puppy in all honesty, they stood in silence for a while before she sighed, "Have you met Unity? Or has he talked to them recently?" she asked with an almost sour look on her face, Morty nodded "Well there you go, she probably fucked him then left again" Morty had an oo0oh moment and nodded.

"Just like all things he'll get over it, now i think it's about time i take you back home yeah?" He nodded, but now he felt kind of bad she seemed really, bothered by something . "(Y/N) have you ever liked Rick? Or you know when you used to come over a lot were you together?" He asked as they walked out the door and to her car. "Yes, we did date at the time, well what i thought was dating until he bluntly told me it was nowhere near that and i was just quote un quote, "something to do." As they got in the car Mortys mouth dropped open no wonder she just disappeared from their life like that.

"i-im sorry Rick’s a real dick sometimes" she shrugged and focused her eyes on the road, ”Listen Morty your grandpa is a lot of things, a dick especially, and when it comes to emotions, especially his own, he becomes a coward, please Morty i know you've picked up about 300 shitty casualties from him but avoid that like your life depends on it. Okay? Or at least promise to try?” Morty could tell how serious she was without even looking at her.

 The rest of the ride was silent, once she pulled into the driveway of Morty’s house she groaned seeing that the garage was open and Rick was standing in front of it. With his arms crossed, the moment his eyes landed on (Y/n) she felt her stomach drop, her hands were shaking, which Morty noticed. "Fuck me" she said under her breath, Morty got out the car but she stayed still almost frozen. "B-Bout damn time yo-ughh- you got here." Morty groaned "How did you even know I left?" Rick rolled his eyes "your mom o-obviously di-ugh-dipshit." Morty shook his head and waved goodbye to (y/n).

She waved back, she jumped when she realized Rick was now at her window motioning for her to get out she rolled her eyes before reluctantly getting out. He looked her up and down before stopping and staring at her lips, his eyes just sat there for a good minute before she cleared her throat. "Did you have something to say or did you just wanna stand here lookin’ stupid?" He scoffed before taking a swig of his flask "Y-You know yo-ughhh you never wer- seemed like one to hold a g-grudge. Thought yo-you wou-ughh would have got- been over it b-by now."

she stared at him with a blank expression before she back handed him sending him stumbling "wha-what the fuck!?" he exclaimed as he looked at her he was gonna say more till he noticed the tears streaming down her expressionless face "How long have we known each other rick?" he looked at her questionably "hey y-your ughh c--" she cut him off her voice a little louder than before "How fucking long rick?" he stood up right and looked into her watery (e/c) eyes as he held his cheek. "5 years" she nodded "and how many times in those 5 years did you introduce me to the many girls you fucked, the girls you ploughed mindlessly just to get off?”

he looked at her questionably again "none." he said simply "how many of them did you introduce to birdperson, or squanchy, or the people you know from other fuckin universes, Matter of fuckin’ fact, how many of those whores did you see walking around with different dimension ricks at the citadle?" he didn't have to think at all before saying "none" she nodded

"Rick not only, not fuckin’ only did you introduce me to squanchy, birdperson, and other Rick’s and their (y/n), when you decided you were ready to go back into Beths life you introduced me to your family, to your only daughter, to your nephew, your niece, and the dickhead that you cant fuckin’ stand for knockin you daughter up, that that in itself should be enough proof that im not just a hole off the street for you to have fun with" he stood silently still looking into her (e/c) eyes.

"And that the crazy fuckin’ thing rRick! not once did we even have sex, we never went further than sleep naked together! So for you to have looked me directly in my fucking face, and tell me that I was simply something to do didn't hurt, what hurt was the fact that you lied! You lied Rick! Straight through yo motha fuckin’ teeth! The fact that you're a genius doesn't mean shit to me when you don't even have the damn brain capacity to admit when you care about someone! You are a fuckin coward! I know you're scared to be hurt again, fine! But dont fucking pussy out and act like the shit that we had meant nothing!"

Rick was at a lost for words he didn't want to get attached to anyone since Diane and he knew that, he watched as (Y/n) wiped the tears from her eyes ``It hurts like a bitch to love someone so much, and to know that they love you back but won't admit it, it just makes you feel like they’re ashamed of you, like you're ashamed of me, Rick i asked for nothing when we first met." she sighed

“I told you that i just wanted to learn, you took that as if i can get the bitch to trust me enough i can eventually fuck her, yet you never even made a move Rick, your exact words were, i dont want you talking to anyone else, and i accepted that as your fucked up way of asking me out. i never once asked to label us because i already knew what we were, i thought i actually meant something to you.” The two sat in silence for a couple minutes she had hoped he would say something, and when he didn't she shook her head and got ready to get back in her car " I have to go, tell Morty to come see me whenever i guess." she turned ready to get in her car till she fell through a lime green portal. She landed in Rick's room, on his bed to be exact Rick soon came in after opening another portal and walked through.

“When normal people want to talk they usually use their words.” she said as she rolled her eyes and stoop up intending to leave, she wasn't the person she was 5 years ago, he couldn't kiss and caress his way out of this one. She was sick of him talking his way out of things his words couldn't be trusted and his actions were misleading so at this point fuck it, fuck him, fuck his hugs, his kisses, his scent, fuck the way he looked at her with longing eyes and made her weak in the knees. 

Fuck everything, enough was enough, either he wanted to be with her, or he didnt those were his options, she hadnt even realized tears were freely falling down her (S/C) cheeks, she was shaking, she had tried to pursue a relationship with at least 10 other men and it all failed, she was taping her foot fast with her arms crossed as she kept looking at the ground 

She didnt want him to see her like that the man had barely said a fuckin word and here she stood crying her eyes out, damn near hyperventilating “I’m sorry … you’re right, i am a fuckin coward and everything you said is true … fuck this is making me nauseous, all this sappy bullshit, to sum up this shit show of our relationship i love you, i am a cunt for pulling that bullshit, like you didnt mean anything to me because unfortunately you do, i gave into the pathetic chemical reaction that makes me just as human and vulnerable as the rest of our shitty race, hell i might even be a little less Rick because of this shit but if it means you wont disappear again …. It's worth it.”

She slowly approached Rick and buried her face in his chest as she cried, finally the dickhead admitted to well, being a dickhead and a liar, and a coward, and a cunt pussy shit fuck bastard, and his way of apologizing, it was.. Shitty but that's what she expected, he held her tightly kissing the top of her head inhaling her sent messaging her scalp through her (kinky,curly,thick,straight) hair

Once again they'd be sharing the night together she already knew he wasn't letting her leave so after she had stopped crying and did all the things she needed to do before she went to sleep she crawled into bed with him usually shed sleep on his chest but tonight rick insisted on sleeping on her chest probably his way of making sure she stayed there. Of course the two were butterball ass naked it was the only way she could sleep, “i love you” rick said just as she was drifting to sleep she smiled and kissed his forehead “i love you too.”  

[wanderingsoul6261]

Ghost Behind the Face-Part 2

Pairing: Russell Adler x Bell!Reader

warnings:none

decription: Russell Adler and Bell talk for the first in years.

Bell had situated herself back in her designated area back at a newly relocated safe house for the team. The team that she was now tasked with to help stop and take down Stitch. But her area consisted of a small space blocked off by the rest of the main building with sheets and large peices of cloth, as the building only happened to be a small warehouse that was being sold for a small profit. It held a cot, in which she had bought several pillows and blankets to make it a lot less uncomfortable. Beside it was a small side table. And by side table, it was really only a bunch of 2 x 4s that were found in the previously empty warehouse. On it she had set her pistol, a book she had only just begun to read a few weeks ago, a journal and pencil that she also doubled as a sketchbook, and a pair of reading glasses. She had her gear sitting close by to the cot, in case it was needed in a situation that needed her to move fast and quick, and a suitcase with some of her clothes sat underneath her cot. In addition to all of that, she had a few candles and a box of matches she used on nights where she couldn't sleep. Bell had always preferred candle light over the light that was emitted from light bulbs. It helped provide her with a calming sense. But alas, it was the middle of the day, and therefore the lights in the warehouse were plentiful and without a doubt, turned on. But instead of joining the others in a discussion about what had happened recently, she hid away in her small corner. Bell was reminiscing, remembers the days back when it was her,Adler, Park, Mason, Lazar, Sims and Woods. She had yet to get in contact with the others, minus Lazar, as he didn't survive one mission that the team had gone on. Her thoughts were disrupted when the sheets blocking her off from the rest of the building were gently opened, revealing the man that she knew she would have to explain everything to soon. Bell kept her gaze on him, her face expressionless as she tried to formulate words in her head, as she tried to prepare herself for a conversation that she wasn't expecting to have so soon. She had almost wished he had forgotten, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. It was Adler we were talking about. "You can come in. You know that right?" She asked,further tightening her arms around her legs as her thighs rested against her stomach and her chest, propping her chin upon her knees. "I wasn't sure of you wanted to talk to me right now." He said in reply, his gruff voice filling her ears as he walked over to her cot. He sat at the end of the cot, catching her by surprise when he faced his back towards her. What was his reasoning? Did he not want to look at her right now? Was it guilt? Nervousness? Had he felt like he failed his job in killing her and now refused to look at her because it was a reminder? His voice didn't betray any emotion as her eyes laid themselves upon his back, which had tensed up. "A fishing charter ship found me." Adler lifted his head slightly from the bowed position he had it in, turning it slightly to the left. It was his way of telling her he was listening. "I was halfway dead. Which is reasonable once you factor in the cold waters and the fact that I had a gun shot wound to my stomach." Bell thought that he had winced, but it was so subtle that she assumed she was seeing things. "But you know what." She waited for him to say something. To turn to her and ask of what she was going to say. But when she received no answer, she continued talking. "I was okay with that." Adler picked up his head so that it sat a little straighter and twisted his upper body so that he could look at her. "What?" "I had helped you and the team save the world. I helped prevent a third world War from happening. If I was to go out that way knowing that I had done a good deed with my new life, to know that even with a little chance that I could have possibly been known as a hero...I was okay with it." Adler had moved so that he could sit closer to her, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the woman before him in confusion. "You wanted to die?" "No." She said. Bell lifted her head from her knees and crossed her legs, picking at her fingernails. "But like I said. If I had a chance in which you guys told the world that I died as a hero while stopping those nukes, the thought alone was enough to satisfy me. It was enough for me to believe it." "Even if it was a lie?" He asked. Bell nodded in return. "Even if it was a lie." The two stared at each other in silence as they tried to read one another. Bell thought that he wanted her to continue her story. But he seemed to have peiced it together without confirmation from her. It was only logical that once the fishing charter found her, they had a helicopter come and get her to take her to the closest hospital where the CIA would have later found out she survive. From there she would have been placed under a sort of temporary witness protection while they healed, in which once that happened, she was taken back under their command and sent back to the field. "I didn't want to." It was now Bell's turn to look at him in confusion. "Shoot you I mean. But I knew that the moment we found you on that tarmac and plans were made to brain wash you in attempt to get answers and intel on Perseus, that tying off loose ends after the mission was what needed to be done." "I understand." Adler shook his head as he continued to look at her. "Why? Why are you so understanding? Why won't you hold a grudge against me?"he asked. "It was your job. Its what happens in our jobs. If it wasn't me, it was someone else. We gain intel from the enemy, and to prevent any leaks in the system, we tie off loose ends." Bell shrugged. "Its not hard to understand." "The real question is, did you want to do it?" She asked him. Adler looked over at her. "At first, I was fine with it. I knew what I had to do. But I never expected myself to get attached to you." "Attached how?" Adler let out a small chuckled as he shook his head slightly. "Even after all these years you are still oblivious." His chuckle quieted down as he looked at the floor, before turning his head to look back at her. "Im glad you're still alive. I regretted everything, just so you know. But anyways." Adler stood up, Bell tilting her head to watch him. He looked down her in response. It was like he was contemplating something. His hands twitched slightly, as if he wanted to touch her, to hold her, to tell her everything that he wanted to tell her. But instead, he had given her a small smile, that almost appeared to look sorrowful as much as it was regretful. He had opened his mouth to say something, and she froze, expecting the words 'Bell, we have a job to do' to come out of his mouth. But then he closed it again, and let out a sigh. "Its been a long week. Get some rest. God knows you deserved it." And with that he turned to leave, once again leaving Bell in silence as he disappeared from her sight, his foot steps disappearing as he went off to do god knows what. Bell swallowed thickly as she stared at the spot he had once sat, remembering the concern and confusion in his face as she spoke of what happened and how she felt. And now she wondered what was gonna happen next.

[lordseochangbin]

Beverly Hills- Part Five

A/N: tea i have no idea if this part is too confusing but.. it’s so close to ending im :)

Warning: mentions of gambling (idk if i should mention this but eh)

With no one else to talk to, you found yourself waiting inside Jisung’s room. You’re looking around in his closet, checking out the many plaid and printed tees that he has. His desk, a guitar hung on the wall in front of it. Pictures from when he was younger with his parents and friends. 

Sitting on the edge of his bed, you eye a bulletin board peeking out the side of his bed before crouching down to pick it up but your attention is driven to a container. You’re seconds from grabbing it before the bedroom door swings open and you see Jisung flop into his bed. 

“Hey!” You exclaim, peeking out from underneath.

Jisung looks at you in shock, looking around his room before looking back at you. “Hi?”

“Umm, I hope you don’t mind me coming. I just didn’t know who to talk to” You played with your fingers, unsure of what to do next before Jisung could pat the spot next to his bed. “Come here” 

Jisung was silent as you explained the Hyunjin situation. At first you laid your head on his chest, your fingers brushing his as you talked but you started to feel his chest rise more consistently, more frequent. His jaw locked above your head, you felt the sudden movement as his body started to fidget. 

“Are you okay?” You asked, getting up from your spot. “Look I know the whole thing is pretty serious but I just don’t know how to act. Should we have gone to the police? Told his mom?”

Jisung looked away from you before getting out of the bed. “You should go.” 

“What? Jisung!”

“Just get out!” He suddenly exclaimed, his hands digging through his hair in fright as he tried to step away from you. 

You couldn’t stand seeing him like this though. As much as you didn’t want to press his buttons, you also didn’t want to lose another friend. Taking a few steps towards him, you wrapped your hands around his waist, back hugging him. 

“Jisung, just take a few deep breaths” You whispered, feeling his heartbeats fasten as you led him to the bed. Without a word, he grabbed your arm, a tear dropping from his eye before he could repeatedly whisper small “I’m sorry’s”. 

You didn’t respond. 

“How are we supposed to get Hyunjin back?” Changbin exclaimed, throwing his phone across the room. 

Felix walked in with perfect timing, picking up the cell and dropping it in his lap. 

“What are you two fuckers talking about?” He asked, squishing himself in between Minho and Changbin as he watched the two tense up. “Guys? What happened?”

Minho let out an exhausted sigh before leaning his head against the couch, “You’re probably not going to believe me when I say this but.. Hyunjin is being held hostage”

Felix nearly choked on his breath, “He’s being what? By whom?!”

Changbin let his hand rest on Felix’s thigh as he gave it a small squeeze, “Don’t worry about it. It’s his ex-girlfriend Mel, the bitch has a grudge against him. But I don’t think she could do anything violent… right?”

The question lied in the air as Felix’s eyes widened, catching Minho and Changbin’s attention. 

“Oh no.. I know that face” Minho said, “Felix if you know something now is the time”

“Actually.. I do know something”

You and Jisung fell sound asleep on his bed. By now his leg was draped across your body, holding you onto the bed as his arms cuddled you like a teddy bear. You couldn’t held to stare at how handsome he was, his squishy cheeks finding home in your shoulder as he lied against it. 

“Ji.. Jisung. Wake up silly” you mumbled. He let out a small groan before turning to the other side of the bed. 

“He’s so stupid” you whispered to yourself before turning to the other side. Not realizing you were on the edge of the bed, you fell face flat on the floor. Second time's a charm I guess.

You laid on the floor like that for a while, hoping Jisung didn’t notice before turning your head to peek under his bed. There it was, that box that seemed to be calling your name. You didn’t want to open it but you were so curious as to why it was placed exactly in the back. 

Maybe just a peek inside, what do people usually put under their beds anyways? Old art from preschool? Extra underwear?

You reach out for the box and with a few tries you successfully grab the edge, pulling it towards you. 

Old art from preschool my ass. It’s cash. And wads of it. 

“Y/N!” Jisung exclaims.

“Jisung.. what is this?” You ask, a nervous face on you as you gesture towards the box. 

“That’s um..” He takes the box out of your hands and slides it under the bed before replying, “That’s a past that I don’t want to bring up” 

“Come on, you can tell me” You say as he leans against the bed. “Where did you get all the cash from?” 

Jisung looks around anxiously before replying genuinely, “I used to have a.. strong gambling addiction”

“You gambled?”

“Yeah, it was bad though. I made all this money but if I ever lost it’d cost my parents fortunes. They left Korea about a few years ago so they could avoid having to pay for my debts and that’s when my cousins brought me to my senses and forced me to go back to school”

“So instead of going to school these past three years.. you’ve been gambling?”

Jisung couldn’t happen but to notice the disappointment in your voice. He didn’t want to reply, getting these words out alone made his heart clench to his chest. If he had never rolled the dice, never pulled out a winning card- he would’ve had his parents, his friends. Everything. 

A swinging door caught your attention as Minho stormed into the room, swinging a punch at Jisung only for him to grab Minho’s wrist. 

“Minho!” You exclaimed, “What are you doing?”

“Can’t you see this idiot? He gave Hyunjin off to Mel so he could get closer to you!”

“What?” You looked over to Jisung, his eyes popping out as he looked down at the floor. 

“Is it true Jisung? You did that?” 

At this point everyone was in the room, Jisung still on the floor as he didn’t know what to say.

“Is it true Jisung?! Tell me!” You asked, a slight bit of hope in your voice. 

Jisung simply nodded his head before you could storm off. 

“Don’t leave” Jisung called after you. “W-we can fix this? Right?”

Changbin rolled his eyes in annoyance before showing Jisung the video of Hyunjin from earlier. “You did this. YOU can fix this” 

“Come on Changbin” Felix said, “Aren’t we supposed to meet somewhere? How about we all go?”

“Are you crazy? I’m not letting my baby Jeongin go to some shittown” Seungmin muttered, pulling Jeongin into a hug.

“I’m not babie!!” Jeongin could simply whine before pulling Seungmin away.

Jisung looked at you, hands on your shoulders as he said “Y/N, I can fix this.. please”

“Yeah, you better” you spat, leaving the room before you could get a text message. 

Unknown Number: i hope you have cash prepared, i’m waiting at the address below for you <3

A mess couldn’t begin to describe how all of you looked in front of the underground building. 

Jeongin and Seungmin stayed glued together, predicting men with guns as Changbin stood in front of Felix. Minho and Claire were hand in hand and where did that leave you and Jisung? Alone. Together.

“D-do we knock?” Claire asked, gesturing at the closed store.

Changbin simply nodded his head, “Nahh, just open it” He said, opening the door to reveal is dim lit room. 

A spotlight shined on a round table, the top coated in green before Mel could chuckle, walking towards her seat across from them. 

“Where’s Hyunjin?” Minho asked, looking around to see no one there. A smirk rose on Mel’s face before a dragged figure could be carried by San and Mingi. “Happy?”

Hyunjin looked up, his face full of bruises and a scar on the bridge of his nose. “G-guys.. you don’t have to do this…” He whimpered as they seated him next to Mel. 

“We want to… we have to,” Changbin said. 

Mel rolled her eyes at the sentimental moment, “Now where’s the cash?” She groaned, watching as Felix took out a wad of cash. 

“Here.” 

“And who’s playing?” 

Seungmin turned around to the rest before asking, “Playing? Playing what?”

“I’m good at playing video games!” Jeongin squealed before Claire kicked him in the shin. 

“Who’s gambling?” Mel repeated, looking at the crowd of young kids arguing.

“Oh shit man, my luck is terrible” Felix said, gesturing to Minho. 

Minho tilted his head to the side, realizing someone was missing. “Where’s Chan?” 

Everyone suddenly gathered around before Changbin could whisper, “We need Chan. He’s the only one who has a chance at this” 

You on the other hand stood to the side, watching Hyunjin from a distance before Mel could catch your eye and look away. 

“Hurry up boys, who’s doing it?” 

Minho quickly got his phone, texting Chan in an instant before you could put your word in. 

“Jisung’s playing.” You said, glancing at your group of friends who eyed you curiously. “What?!”

You walked up to them before stating, “Jisung’s good at gambling, right? Please Jisung… you have to. You’re all we have right now to get Hyunjin back.” 

Changbin watching Jisung’s subtle movements, “You have to fix the mess you started anyways”

Keeping his eyes on the ground again, Jisung stared at the table in front of him. He could remember everything from the past three years coming back to him. The girls. The drinks. The money. The losses. 

His parents, gone. 

It hit his mind instantly at the sight of the chips and cards. His head dizzy and anxious before Seungmin and Jeongin could grab him. 

“Jisung, bro it’s alright. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I remember the tricks you caught me, but I don’t exactly have the luck that you do” Seungmin suggested, giving a tug at his arms before Jisung could step forward. 

“It’s fine, I’ll play” He said before sitting at the chair across from Mel. 

He turned around in his seat to look at you before taking a deep breath, watching as a wad of cash in front of him was thrown to the table. 

Oh dear Jisung, will his odds from three years ago be able to make a comeback?

[littlebitoffanfic]

Right

Orc x reader Request: can you write a mafiaAU with an orc who you fall in love with but don’t realise hes in the mafia so you run away and come back but he still loves you. I love that you started writing for orcs as well You should have never got yourself tangled up in this life, especially in this way. shoving clothes into a bag, your heart was hammering as you tried to reason with yourself. It was for your own safety, and for his. It all started over a coffee in a busy café, where he had asked to share your table. Then he offered to take you out for a meal. One thing had lead to another and before you knew it, you had fallen deeply in love with the orc. But there was thing he didn’t tell you about. Like how he was the son of the head mafia leader in the city. About how for every ali he had, he had several enemy’s. And that they wouldn’t blink once about killing you to get to him. But you had found out after a shoot out last night. You found out everything and on the night you thought you might have been happiest, your world had come crashing down around you. Karu had brought you there for one reason, and you knew it before you left your home. He had left his suit coat on the table which he took a phone call in the other room. You had been looking for your keys when you moved it and felt a small box inside. curious, you pulled the box out of his pocket and inside was a ring. You of course shoved it back and pretended you hadn’t seen it, but your heart was bursting with joy. You were a little no one with enough money to get by. The thought of having the love of your life propose to you was enough but he was from a wealthy family who owned a lot of businesses. You were both very young but knew what you wanted. Your life looked perfect. But then, someone had pulled a gun and started firing at you. not at him, at you. before you knew what happened. There was several guns and a fight broke out. Someone grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you out of the blaze. His shoulder. An older orc who had always looked at you with an air of pity in his eyes. He told you everything. About the mafia, about Karu, about what your life would be if you stayed. You would always be in danger. When you got home, you had packed your bag. You would leave the city right now, not look back. you left a note, telling him you loved him but you were scared. And with that, you fled. ------------time skip -------------- Ten long years past before you dared to return to the city. Walking down the streets, you felt like your were in a dream. Several shops had changed but most of them looked untouched by time. Faces changed but the buildings didn’t. You didn’t know what you expected. You left your belonging in your hotel room and decided to go explore the areas around. When you came across that little café, you couldn’t help but be drawn in. you ordered your coffee, which had never changed, and sat at a small booth in the back of the shop. You sat for about 15 minutes, browsing through your phone as you tried to figure out the best place to go next when you were drawn from your thoughts. “[y/n]?” That voice. It made you freeze. Your eyes followed the voice to see a familiar face. Karu. He wore a black suit with a white shirt. The years hadn’t been cruel to him, but they certainly hadn’t been kind either. His face showed years of stress, his eyes having bags under them and his youth had matured into the handsome features you now saw. But his eyes were the same. Especially considering they still looked down at you with love. His tusks now had marking on the bottom of them, symbolling his maturity and growth with his family. His skin was still that lovely soft green tone you had always loved. you might have jumped up and wrapped your arms around him, if the last time you had last seen him hadn’t been so violent. Fear flooded through your body. Was he angry? Would he still hold a grudge against you for your actions? The only reason you had left as you had was from fear he might not let you. Karu saw your fear and winced, taking a step back. he dropped your gaze, all the hope drained from his eyes. “My apologies.” He nodded his head, turning away from you. Damn your heart, which still held deep feeling for him. You jumped and called out his name, but the movement was like you had been hit by lightning and you ended up knocking your phone out your hand and onto the floor. Karu quickly turned to you and, upon seeing your phone on the floor, ducked down to grab it. His eyes glanced at the screen and saw you had been looking at restaurants. He handed the phone back to you. “You know, I know a few nice places. Umm. Real private. Perhaps I could show you around?” He offered, reminding you of the first time he had asked you out. “That…” You paused, your mind racing as you fought tooth and nail against your heart. But you couldn’t. not when he looked at you with hope in his eyes. “That would be lovely.” ---------------------time skip -------- You sat back in the booth of the restaurant, holding your hand over your heart as you tried to stop yourself from laughing so hard. Karu had always understood your humour perfectly and could make you laugh at anything. The meal was long finished and small restaurant want lit in a low, warm light. You were seated in a secluded booth at the back. it wasn’t visible by anyone unless the waiters came to check on you. “How long are you in town?” Karu asked as you both settled down. “About another 3 days.” You tell him and you see his smile faulter. You drop his gaze, looking away from him as you do so. “i-i-“ He drew your attention back to him as he looked down at the table, his brow knitted together in deep thought. He sighed, shaking his head. “I never got over you. Never.” He breathed. “Karu, im so sorr-“ You were about to say when he cut you off with a sad smile and shaking h is head again. “You have nothing to apologies for. You were right. I was so focused on my own love for you that I couldn’t see how much danger I put you in, especially by not telling you everything.” He spoke and looked up to you. you could see how much he had matured over the years, and it made your heart cry out for him. “It wasn’t as… bad as you might think. We weren’t the bad guys. We kept the real bad ones at bay. I didn’t want anything to do with it so I kept more to the business side of matters.” He drops you eyes and looks over the table as if he couldn’t bare your gaze. “Especially when I met you. couldn’t believe my luck. I just, I wish I had told you so you could have made your own decisions.” you didn’t know what to say to him. You both sat there in silence, the mood suddenly dropped. “You know I didn’t leave to hurt you?” You finally asked, drawing his attention back to you. he offered you a soft smile that melted your heart. “I know. I don’t blame you, either. I came home that night and vowed to tell you everything. Let you make up your own mind. i just wish I got the chance to tell you how much you meant to me.” He smiled sadly and reached out his hand to cup your cheek. “I was just scared. And I’d seen the box in your coat that night. I don’t know, I just got so scared with the shoot out and I panicked. I would have, I would have said yes if id know. I-i-I-“ you tailed off. You didn’t even realise that you had been crying until he wiped your tears away with the pad of his thumb. You reached up and pressed your hand against the top of his, keeping his hand on your cheek. he wrapped his free arm around you, holding you against his chest as you cried. -------------time skip --------------- You stood in the train station with your purse open, double checking you had all your tickets. Once satisfied for the 11th time, you closed it and put it back in your purse. You checked your suitcase was still beside you and your handbag was by your feet. Why did it feel like you were missing something? Or someone. Biting down on your lip, you hated yourself. After that night, Karu had taken you out for lunch and then last night for a farewell dinner. And it just felt so nice and natural. You had been on dates, sure, but these ones had just felt right. you ran your hand through your hair as you looked up to the trains details. It was due in 4 minutes. “[y/n]?” A voice called you and you twisted round. You couldn’t help but smile as Karu walked up to you. he wore a long black coat that gave him a gentleman vibe you loved. This along with his signature suit was enough to make you weak at the knees. “I had to come and say goodbye.” He smiled as he came to stand by your suitcase. “You said goodbye last night.” You pointed out, knowing there must be something more. He must have bribed his way onto the platform since there was barriers and guards on the station. Karu laughed but nodded. “I have to give you this.” He pulled out a black box, one which you recognised but you had to make sure. Taking the box, you opened it to see the very ring he had planned on proposing to you with 10 years ago. “Karu, why-“ You were cut off. “It’s a sign. I’ll always be here for you and I’ll be whatever you need me to be. A friend, protector, anything. I just need you to have this because I bought it for you to show you how much I love you. that much hasn’t changed.” He smiles, his eyes filled with tears as he looks down at you with such love and adoration in his eyes. You were about to speak, to say something when the sound of a train made you jump and look down the track. Your train was early. “Have a safe journey.” He calls to your over the train, cupping your cheek lovingly before turning and walking away, his hands buried in his pockets. You stood there, froze in spot with the ring in your hand. He was still completely and utter in love with you. after 10 years, he had kept the ring. Your mind was racing. He loved you and you loved him, so why were still deliberating on your decision? You heard a faint whistle then someone touched your shoulder. “Miss? You getting on this train?” The conduct asked, nodding to the train which had stopped and let all the passengers on. You blinked and your decision was made. “No, sorry.” You say, your voice shaking as you smile at the conductor. He smiles back before retreating to the train. You picked up your handbag and grabbed your suitcase. Hurrying along the platform and into the station, you passed through the barriers with raised eyebrows from security but they didn’t question. You saw Karu descending the steps to the station, his head low. Running out the door, you stopped at the top of the stairs. “Karu?” you called out his name and he jumped, turning back to look up at you. “[y/n]? your train-?” he asks, walking back up the stairs as he glances behind you. “You said you would be whatever I needed, right?” You ask, and he nods once. “well, I need YOU.” The words broke him. his arms wrapped around your waist and you were pulled against his front as his lips crashed onto yours. You instantly wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, able to feel the muscles under the clothes he wore before pulling yourself against him as hard as you could. You need him more than you had ever admitted. You felt his tusks grazing your cheeks as his lips worked furiously against yours in a way that made your knees weak but you were secure in his arms. When you both pulled back, you were panting hard. Your face was bright red and you could see the smile on his lips. “The only thing is, since ive missed my train, im going to need somewhere to stay while I get things sorted.” You giggle, knowing full well what his offer will be. “A lady like you needs a few options.” He offers you his arm while he grabs your suitcase. You hook your arm in his. “You may stay with me where you will have the option of several rooms, or you can stay in one of my hotels.” “I think I should stay with you.” You giggle, cuddling into him as he guides you to his car. “And as for beds, I would be fine to share it should the demand for the others be too much.” You glance up and see Karu smiling widely as he opens the door of his car for you. “And we must celebrate.” He slides into he drivers seat after placing your suitcase in the boot. you couldn’t help but look at him and smile, unable to believe you had chosen to stay. But it felt right.

[misssophiachase]

Set It Up – A kinda but not really Klaroline Fusion (like all my different fusions)

Caroline Forbes and Klaus Mikaeslon are working as assistants to the most demanding, rival NBA bosses in New York. From Macy’s to Madison Square Garden to the MGM Grand in Las Vegas can they stop bickering long enough to come together to make their lives easier?

All I do is Win

151 W 34th Street, New York, NY 

"Before you say anything,” he offered, holding his hand up to silence her. “He actually tried to fire a mailman today.” 

He being Mason Lockwood, the Brooklyn Nets owner. He was also notorious for being an arrogant, demanding bastard and then some. 

“And?”

“Mailmen work for the U.S. government!"

“Oh boo hoo, I don’t care, Mikaelson,” she replied gruffly, equally not caring but also knowing it was true and his boss was an ass. 

“Says the girl whose boss could give Cruella De Ville a run for her money.” He wasn’t wrong. New York Knicks boss Katherine Pierce was fierce, feisty and a real bitch at the best and worst of times.

“Exactly why I’m here to claim my blender that you have your grubby paws all over. I called earlier and put it on hold,” Caroline demanded, exhausted from the trek to Macy’s Department Store noticing he was already clutching it possessively.   

She took a few seconds to admire that his thieving ass was sort of attractive in that fitted, grey suit even if he didn’t know his proper place.

Five days ago she didn’t even know him but Klaus Mikaelson had made both an immediate and lasting impression on her, and it wasn’t a good one. She had always welcomed competition but his good looks were kind of messing with her resolve. 

Bastard.

She had no intention of letting him win.

Ever.

“But your name isn’t on it,” he shot back, refusing to relinquish her property. 

“Now, that’s extremely mature,” she scowled. “If I don’t get this exact gift for the Warner wedding my boss is going to kill me.” 

Yes, to some it was just your run-of-the-mill gadget that mixed ingredients together. But this wasn’t just any blender. This was the newest, state of the art Vitamix Blender that retailed at a jaw dropping $1198.

It also happened to be the last one left in Manhattan, Caroline knew given just how many stores she’d called in vain. She just hoped the Warners were grateful, if she managed to steal it from his greedy clutches of course.

“My boss will too given it’s a gift for his only sister’s birthday,” he shot back. “If you think I’m going to give up this blender without a fight you’re sorely mistaken.” 

Okay, maybe she had forgotten in her haste to put it on hold, oops, but Klaus didn’t have to know that.

“Only because you got caught out breaking the rules because I already put this on hold,” she bluffed, refusing to let him win.

“Okay fine, what do you want?” 

“I thought I made myself pretty clear, Mikaelson,” she growled, gesturing towards the blender.  

“What else do you want besides this blender?” 

They both held each other’s gaze for a full thirty seconds before each finally responded their resolve unflinching. 

“Disney on Ice tickets. I hear that the Under the Sea Christmas Spectacular is a huge hit in your borough.”  Brooklyn was most definitely a bad word she could never utter.  

“Seriously? That’s really what you want?”

“Deathly,” she hit back, rolling her eyes as she did it. “Surely you would have some contacts, you know if you’re actually a good assistant.” 

“Because I’m sure Katherine Pierce would love to watch a singing crab and one memory-less fish,” he scoffed. 

“She may be the Ice Queen but she also has thirteen impossible and incessant nieces and nephews. And last time I checked all fish were memory-less.”

“Well, then you’ve never met my Marvin.” Caroline was trying to ignore just how adorable he looked defending his goldfish one dimple at a time.  “Even so those tickets will cost me more than this blender.”

“Okay, so how about I sweeten the deal with some boxing tickets?”

“Not sure the local boxing round robin is his speed, love, so that’s a definite no.”

“Well, I suppose it’s your loss,” she drawled. “Hand over my blender then, Mikaelson.”

“You’re going to have to make me,” he replied jokingly. 

“Real mature,” Caroline reiterated, surprising him and plucking it from his grasp. She couldn’t miss the way his hand felt brushing against hers as she did. “I hope I never have to see your smug ass again.” She stalked away, hips swaying in her wake.

“Until I have to explain the missing blender,” he called out in frustration by way of response. 

“Because I’m sure a missing blender is going to be your biggest problem given you turned down Pacquiao vs Broner ringside seats in Vegas.”  

She made a mental note in her head. Caroline Forbes 1 - Klaus Mikaelson 0. Suddenly her hellish life as an assistant wasn't so bad if he was suffering too.

4 Pennsylvania Plaza, New York, NY 

Klaus Mikaelson was the type to hold grudges. It started when he was six years-old and his younger brother Kol stole his favourite toy and it had only grown stronger and more spiteful in the years afterward. 

Caroline Forbes was going to pay. Mainly because his boss hadn’t let him forget how pathetic he was to lose the blender he wanted to ‘a girl’ as he emphasised in air quotes. Klaus was far from chauvinistic and his boss was obviously still living in the dark ages. 

Caroline wasn’t just ‘a girl’ she was a pain in his ass and Klaus planned to bring her down and it didn’t hurt that it was her home game either. 

Rivals the Knicks and Nets were squaring off at Madison Square Garden and he’d been plotting his revenge ever since their last meeting. Sure, she was kind of gorgeous with those blonde waves and crystal, blue eyes but she was also his devious competition. And she was unrelenting. He had to beat her at her own game and he’d found the perfect way to do it.

“Glutton for punishment hey?” 

“Excuse me?” He shot back from their neighbouring, courtside seats. The pre-game arrangements were well underway. “Last time I checked the Nets and their staff have every right to be here, even if it is on enemy territory.”

“Unfortunately, yes,” she growled. “But it’s nice to know you are going down tonight.”

“Have you seen the ladder, Forbes?”

“You are one game ahead, after tonight that won’t be the case,” she scoffed. Klaus took a moment to peruse her outfit before arguing back. Even in her hideous blue and orange jersey she couldn’t help but look stunning. He decided to put it down to the fact her floral perfume was infiltrating his nostrils and messing with his composure. 

“Wanna make a bet?”

“I’m pretty good at those but if you’re game.”

“Oh I’m game,” he smirked. “The Nets win you get me those ringside seats in Vegas. And by seats, I’m going to need eight.”

“Wow, someone is wishful thinking, but yeah sure, not that you’re going to win,” she scoffed. “I cannot wait to witness the annihilation, Mikaelson.” 

Klaus didn’t even respond, just sent her a teasing glance and made his way to the changerooms to finalise everything. He had a good feeling that his team were going to take the win and Klaus would be on the way to Vegas for the big fight at the MGM Grand. His boss would forget that bloody blender ever existed. 

“In your face, Forbes,” Klaus celebrated hours later as the Nets crowd at Madison Square Garden continued to chant well after the final buzzer. She was shocked to say the least, still cute in defeat but he’d never admit it aloud.  

“This is all your fault,” she snarled. “You cheated.”

“Last time I checked I wasn’t on the court.”

“Yeah probably a good thing, you’d never actually keep up, lazy bones,” she snorted. “How about that whole surprise pre-game show where number one Nets fans Beyonce and Jay-Z just decided to belt out the Star Spangled Banner from their seats?”

“I had nothing to do with that,” he lied.

“You are the worst liar,” she huffed. “You know just how well it would be received and in turn boost team morale.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he bluffed. “The best team on the day won.”

“You are unbelievable,” she scowled. “Must really be desperate given just how much your job depends on it.”

“Is that what you say to make your situation better?” He shot back. “Didn’t think you’d stoop that low, oh hang on that whole blender situation was exactly that.”

“I guess I’m desperate,” she murmured, Klaus couldn’t miss the way her expression seemed so defeated all of a sudden. “My college loans are looming and I may have been a little dishonest under pressure because my boss wants to fire me all the time.”

“Story of my life too believe it or not,” he offered. “If only they could get on with their lives and not focus on every little thing that we do.”

“Hang on,” she murmured. “That might not be the worst idea you ever had, Mikaelson. How about we set them up together?”

“Mason and Katherine? That’s just a recipe for disaster. That much combined combustible energy cannot be safe.”

“Exactly why we have to do it,” she murmured, raising her eyebrows.

“So, I suppose I’ll see you in Vegas then?”

“If you’re lucky,” she chuckled, but given her tone Klaus knew she’d be there no matter what.  

MGM Grand, 3799 S Las Vegas Blvd Las Vegas, NV

“Okay, I sent the fruit basket to her room.”

“Aren’t you a romantic,” she drawled teasingly, barely looking up from her magazine on the bed as he entered. Klaus Mikaelson was the last person she expected to organise that. As much as she was attracted to him, Caroline was seeing no similar interests besides setting up their bosses. 

“Please don’t ever call me that. But, last time I checked you’d done absolutely nothing,” Klaus shot back. “And I won the last bet and everything. Time to show you care, Forbes.”

“Like sending an identical one hour massage voucher to both his and her rooms for the same time in the hotel spa?”

“I suppose that’s okay,” he mumbled.

“Why do I get the impression that you don’t like ideas coming from anyone but yourself?”

“Well...”

“It must be all that ego,” she groaned. 

“You really do hate me,” he asked incredulously, it was unusual for any female to think badly of him let alone abuse him incessantly. 

“For the most part.”

“Wow, aren’t you sweet,” he drawled. “So what are we supposed to do to pass the time?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” Caroline shot back. “How about something more intellectual?”

“Wow. Finally something we have in common,” he smirked triumphantly, as she produced a chess board. 

“I happened to be chess champion five years running in High School.”

“Well, don’t want all those potential but ignorant suitors knowing that fact,” he chuckled, sending a stray dimple her way. Caroline tried to pretend that it didn’t affect her but everything inside was telling her that it did. 

And she was scared of the foreign feelings it had caused.

But in true Caroline fashion she decided to push it aside so she could beat him at chess then deal with the consequences that were threatening to derail her feelings later. She didn’t get that chance though. In fact she was in a more vulnerable position than expected. 

“Check Mate,” he murmured, sweeping his queen across the board to take her king. 

She was stunned at first mainly because she never lost. Ever. But he seemed to know her and rather than unsettling her it was weirdly okay.

Bastard.

“We have a boxing match to get to,” she responded mechanically. His hand grabbed hers immediately, the warmth spreading through her body. “Need to keep an eye on our bosses after all.”

“Or we could do something else?” He offered, squeezing her hand affectionately. “My siblings are in town tonight but I’m going to warn you they are...”

“Nick’s Fans?” She asked. “I’ve certainly experienced them and worse.”

“You have no idea, in fact I think they’d be perfect company for Katherine and Mason.”

“Why do I get the feeling you don’t care if you lose your job right now?”

“Well, if you knew my brother Kol and his big mouth,” he teased. “But if you’d rather...”

“No, I’m starting to really like your brother Kol.”

“Well. then you’re really going to like my sister Rebekah,” he chuckled. “How about we explore Vegas some more? See what fun we can get up to?”

“I suppose it can’t hurt, right?” Caroline replied.

Famous last words.

[taylorali-blog]

i haven’t written an intro in like...900 years, so bear with me

about the mun :

hello hello new friends, i’m red, i’m 21, i use she/her pronouns ! the only fun fact i can think of is that last year when i went to the reputation tour and we were heading down to our hotel lobby to pick up our postmates, i found myself in the elevator with taylor’s dancers. it was very, Very awkward. i’m also kinda awkward, but i promise that i don’t bite & that i just wanna love on all of you and your babies ! give me all the connections, all the plots, all the things. i’m super stoked to start writing with y’all 

about the muse :

TAYLOR SWIFT has just arrived in hollywood and the TWENTY-NINE year old SINGER is already causing a stir! the CISFEMALE was seen leaving lax in a hurry, but not before the paparazzi could snap a few stunning photos ! from the looks of it, SHE/HER is going to be the new talk of the town. 

i’ve been playing taylor on and off for too long of a time, tbh — the fun of bringing her into a new group is that i get to kinda reinvent her and i never try to play the same taylor twice which is sksksks fun ! the only thing that stays the same across the board is that my taylor lives by the quote “be like a snake: be nice to people until they step on you”

sagittarius, slytherin, esfj

taylor’s bisexual, she’s not openly out to anyone beyond her immediate family and select friends and has no plans to come out any time soon. due to that, her public relationship history in the sake of this rp is very, very grey & i’m pretty much throwing it all to the wind until we accept said faces in the group & we have the chance to plot ! yeehaw creative liberties !

taylor is incredibly business-oriented; she doesn’t like to use the word calculating to describe her but there is an absolute method to her madness and she’s whip smart. she, for the most part, knows exactly what she is doing when she does it. as the years have gone by, she has strayed from the whimsical, carefree approach on life and everything she does is mapped out to a T. she’s iron-clad in her defenses and every move she makes has contingency plans for contingency plans. i think of it like this: her 1989 era was very rigid and impersonal after the release of the album. during the drama of 2016 taylor took her space and because she was out of the public eye, had to learn how to rework her life without such rigid structure. the reputation era was very blase and ‘i don’t give a fuck’ and the lover era is veering back into that commercial, "faces on, people !!” tone — because of all this, she can sometimes come across as cold and detached to the reality around her ? she’s in tune with the world but sometimes she doesn’t get that she has to switch the lens of ‘this is a business move’ into like, real life

*off key* truuuuUUUST issUUUUUES ! she’s super fucking guarded. she makes it seem like she lets people in very easily but that’s not necessarily the case, she’s just very good at making people feel accepted and included

forgiveness is easier said than done with her. she’ll say that she forgives you but her actions will scream “hi i’m holding a grudge”

if you have taylor in your corner, you have her there for the long run, period. the only time she willingly walks away is if she feels unwelcome or disagrees with something that’s been done/said (most usually towards her lmao)

i know labels died in like, 2015, but one of my favorites that i’d use to sum my t up in one word is cosmogyral —  the definition of the word cosmogyral is ‘whirling around the universe.’ she’s never content with stagnancy, she likes to constantly be thinking and doing and moving and striving to be all the things, essentially. taylor’s a very strategic, take no prisoners kinda girl; she’s also a huge dreamer with a big heart that often gets shadowed by all her steel that she keeps up. she tends to live in her head quite a bit, which comes at its costs. the big part that i usually read into with the cosmogyral is that they are incredibly volatile, they’re easy to flip or turn in their moods and are pretty fickle. taylor is the type of person who will change her mind a lot about something and she’ll be hella stubborn about it every time as if she didn’t feel some other type of way five minutes ago

positive traits include: sage, silver-tongued, fastidious, idealistic, intrepid, driven, hopeless romantic, affectionate, fervid, convival, generally a cinnamon roll (unless u invoke the Sin)

negative traits include: convoluted, self-isolating, sybaritic, clinical, somewhat neurotic, opinionated, lives with her finger on the trigger, vindictive, still sometimes kinda naive

i try not to write taylor as a caricature of herself ? because sometimes i feel like people do ? where the muse takes me is where the muse takes me and i probably won’t have a single explanation for it so this is me apologizing in advance !

anyways, i’ll shut up here ( otherwise i will go on forEVER ) so i can go grab a quick bite for dinner and then dedicate my evening to loving up your starters and babies ic & ooc ! ik it can sometimes be intimidating to message a whole ass stranger but if you wanna plot or just talk ooc, give this actual novella a like and as if by magic, i shall appear in your ims for all the things ! like i said above, i’m really excited to write with everyone and AHHHH I CAN’T WAIT love y’all already x

[dragon-hall]

“Vater unser im Ewigenreich”

I’ve been watching all of K Project’s series and episodes these past few weeks and I want to write something for it. This prompt seems interesting to me and the what ifs are plenty.

(K Project // Divergent - Space)

Writing Prompt: An ancient god “cursed” you with immortality, expecting you to watch the Sun swallow the Earth. When that day comes 7.6 billion years into the future, you’re living large on the other side of the galaxy.

“...even though the so-called ancient god is nothing more than an old slab of ancient stone.” The perpetual smile on his face is simply fond as his long fingers trace the edge of the slate. The slate, even though limited by its seal, glows with shifting orange light that can be understood as lethargic merriment.

Shiro - no - rather, Adolf K. Weismann chuckles at the silent words it transmits through its aura alone.

“Indeed, I share the same fate but need I remind how I came to have such fate?” His words carry a small lilt in it that never betrays his carefree personality.

He leans against the stone’s side, taking a seat on the edge there as if it is a sickbed of a friend. In hindsight, the Dresden Slate has been his constant companion for years ever since he laid eyes on it. Here, at the center of his craft, they talk about past lives, present companions, and future destinations. Adolf surmises that the slate, confirmed to be an entity, shares his loneliness and makes it easy to talk to.

“A fate that leads to this very moment,” Adolf mutters. His smile morphs to despondency as his thoughts take him to the very reason why they ventured out in the open on this very day. “Honestly, I felt insufficient. How it is that I was granted an Aura and my sister was not despite her being the better person. I ran away plenty of times and here I am still. Many are deserving and yet here I stand.”

The slate beneath his hands glimmers in a pale yellow, sympathy as Adolf understood. Is it comforting him?

His smile is back following an airy laugh. “Rest easy. The time for regret has passed. There is nothing to fear considering the treasures I’ve picked up on the way.”

As if on time, the sound of the automatic door opens and a familiar bell-like jingle echoes through the room. Above them and up on the balcony overlooking the hall is Neko, still youthful as ever and fluffy judging from her choice of fur coat and her ear muffs, a new feature.

“I found Shiro!” She exclaims and jumps from the balcony to Adolf’s waiting arms. How she survives such falls every time is beyond him. “Are you done talking to Dresden?”

Dresden, as she calls the slate, shifts to an earthy brown as it relaxes in their presence. Even to this moment, Adolf is still amused to hear the name. After all, it is the Dresden Slate.

“We’re just about to wrap it up.” He pets the young woman who is obviously happy to get more physical contact and addresses the slate in finality. “I know you’re not fond of fireworks so I’m going to assume you won’t watch this one with us. I’ll bring tea down here after dinner, yes?”

The stone glows green this time as it conveys its optimism to his proposal because tea could only mean Shiro and company. The King and his clansman leave arm in arm and proceeds to the viewing deck.

The deck is purely Adolf’s own personal taste way back in the 18th century. A large hall with marble floors, towering marble pillars and gigantic glass windows for a panoramic view of the galaxy. There are shrubberies on the sides with a few white flowers blooming in earnest in contrast to the dark space outside their ship. In the middle of the hall is a depressed platform where windows upon windows of hologram show current news from nearby habitable planets and statistical readings of a singular planet they are observing. The graphs show spikes and changes in one particular planet.

A pair of leather couches instead of a single one situated near the viewing area above the platform. There is already a tatami mat situated beside them and a single occupant is already there as he gazes at the view before him.

“Everything alright, Kuroh?” Adolf asks in his normally gentle tone.

Yatogami Kuroh, one of his first and foremost clansmen, and one of his dearest friends take his time savoring his favorite tea. He sits facing the depressed platform in a perfect seiza all the while watching the events unfold. Years have passed and even so, with the power of the slate given to him through the Silver King, he retains his physical appearance in its youthful state right down to the tips of his long dark locks which he wears in a ponytail like old times. Even the way he acts is the same although with wisdom and maturity that his old master would surely be proud.

“The Union is currently in session to finalize the relocation procedures of the evacuees. Nearby habitable planets are currently on high alert for a radiation surge but nothing far as the dwarf planet but the Centauri system is also raising an emergency. There are reports of minor casualties here and there but nothing to be concerned of.”

“Mm. I guess no one needs our help right now. How’s the evacuation?”

“The Blue King is handling the evacuation most efficiently. Earth has already collided with Mars’ atmosphere fifty-seven hours ago and left a decent hole on its surface where most of the population resides. I’ve received a report that there are no deaths recorded so far and people were already on board Scepter 4 blimps.”

“It is thanks to your clairvoyance that they acted fast. Without your warning, we would be mourning many deaths,” Much is not known about how he managed to have such a talent but since Kuroh was a clansman of the Colorless King, the late Ichigen Miwa, then it is believed to be a latent talent from the Colorless Aura. “By the way, it is said that the current Blue King is the second rising of the legendary Munakata Reisi. What do you think about that, Kuroh?”

“The boy still needs to earn his stripes against me.” The swordsman clicks his tongue, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance. It does not help that the current king of Scepter 4 also wear glasses and a smug face he wants to bash so badly. “Having an exemplary leadership does not change the fact that he is wet behind the ears when it comes to battle. Compared to that man, he is nowhere near an eighth of his capabilities.”

“Hah! Kurosuke likes to torture Boss with glasses junior to get back at Bosumegane senior!” Neko chirps from Adolf’s side and detaches from his arm to drape herself across the couch.

There is no doubt that his friend still holds a grudge towards Scepter 4′s previous king and it also extends to the successors over time. By the time the fifth Blue King was chosen, Kuroh delegated to himself to train every succeeding Blue King with the sword and martial arts as revenge from the time Munakata Reisi outsmarted him. He never forgets the experience.

“Don’t be too hard on him.” The Silver King takes a seat next to Neko who moves to lay her chin on his thigh so he can pet her some more. When he does so, she starts preening with attention. “The Gold King is already expecting so much from Scepter 4.”

Now that he thought about it, the current Gold King resembles his late best friend so much that Adolf was not even surprised that time he learned that she has the blood of Kokujōji Daikaku. To think that the lieutenant had children and he was not informed, he feels a little miffed during that time.

“They multiplied like rabbits as they should be to cover the entire universe but quality must never be sacrificed for quantity.” Kuroh huffs against the lip of his teacup. “And I, Yatogami Kuroh, will never fail to remind him of that.”

Adolf merely chuckles at his enthusiasm and plucks his own teacup, an intricately designed china cup compared to Kuroh’s traditional japanese set. The hot tea was already brewed by his friend and a healthy serving of snacks lies next to the pot for consumption.

“Any time now and she will be entering the Sun’s coronal atmosphere, isn’t it? There is no turning back from that point on.” The Silver King leans back on his seat, Neko purring against his thigh as they watch the events unfold.

“Earth as we all remember her wears a beautiful face even under duress. That her strength and resilience through time will surely be passed on to her beloved children and to those witnessing her final moments.”

Trust Kuroh to say something optimistic during the time and Adolf completely agrees with his words.

“That we are all sons and daughters of our Mother that we return on this very day to honor the place we once called home.

---

Derjenige, der die Freude küsst, während sie fliegt Lebe im Sonnenaufgang der Ewigkeit

[haikyuutrash11]

GET TO KNOW ME!

1:                                        My name?  Jess, but most online people call me Jet              

2:                                        Do I have any nicknames? I have loads of nicknames and I pretty much answer to slurred words too lmao             

3:                                        Zodiac sign? Taurus    

4:                                        Video game I play to chill, not to win? Overwatch                 

5:                                        Book/series I reread? Junjou romantica and a few others                

6:                                        Aliens or ghosts? I like both... but I guess aliens                 

7:                                        Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? @yakulev-trash               

8:                                        Favourite radio station? don't have one... oh wait... maybe kerrang                

9:                                        Favourite flavour of anything? toffee               

10:                                        The word that I use all the time to describe something great? sick                

11:                                        Favourite song? worst question to ever be asked... fuck knows fam               

12:                                        The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? got any kinks? lmao               

13:                                        Favourite word? yaaaars               

14:                                        The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? my ex and no I do not               

15:                                        Last song I listened to? post Malone better now              

16:                                        TV show I always recommend? the big bang theory or anything Michael McIntyre                 

17:                                        Pirates or ninjas? ninjas                 

18:                                        Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? I don't really watch a lot of films to be honest               

19:                                        Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? at the moment BTS- idol ft minaj                

20:                                        Favourite video games? overwatch, rayman, bloodbourne                 

21:                                        What am I most afraid of? losing my son               

22:                                        A good quality of mine? non judgemental                

23:                                        A bad quality of mine? quick to assume                

24:                                        Cats or dogs? dogs               

25:                                        Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in? Jason stathem                 

26:                                        Favourite season? winter                 

27:                                        Am I in a relationship? no im happily single                

28:                                        Something I miss? lay ins                 

29:                                        My best friend? Jody and wife                

30:                                        Eye colour? blue               

31:                                        Hair colour? at the moment its half purple half red               

32:                                        Someone I love? Yaku! my omega :D               

33:                                        Someone I trust? my mum                

34:                                        Someone I always think about? my son                

35:                                        Am I excited about anything? Haikyuu season 4               

36:                                        My current obsession? Reinhardt x Lucio smut               

37:                                        Favourite TV shows as a child? Sailor moon and digimon                

38:                                        Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? yeah, my gay American friend Jacob                

39:                                        Am I superstitious? nahhhh                

40:                                        What do I think about most? getting all my shit sorted                

41:                                        Do I have any strange phobias? ……. nunu from teletubies and wind turbines                 

42:                                        Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind it                

43:                                        Favourite hobbies? writing, gaming, painting, drawing                

44:                                        Last book I read? deviations submissions                 

45:                                        Last film I watched? 47 ronin               

46:                                        Do I play any instruments? I used to play the violin and guitar. but don't anymore, although I do want to learn piano                

47:                                        Favourite animal? leopard                

48:                                        Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? bun that               

49:                                        Superpower I wish I could have? telekinesis                 

50:                                        How do I destress? vape                

51:                                        Do I like confrontation? mate I love that shit                 

52:                                        When do I feel most at peace? when im cuddling my son                 

53:                                        What makes me smile? a few things... okay a lot of things but too many things to name                 

54:                                        Do I sleep with the lights on or off? off, what made man sleeps with them on?!?!               

55:                                        Play any sports? pfffffft               

56:                                        What is my song of the week? why is there so many song questions                

57:                                        Favourite drink? milk                

58:                                        When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? ………… hand...…. written...…. letter?               

59:                                        Afraid of heights? nope               

60:                                        Pet peeve? chewing gum loudly               

61:                                        What was the last concert I went to see? reading festival and I only went to see metallica lol                

62:                                        Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? no                

63:                                        What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? red arrow pilot               

64:                                        Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? yeah                 

65:                                        What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Haikyuu… and I would be such a slut lol                

66:                                        Something I worry about? all the legal stuff im going through right now               

67:                                        Scared of the dark? embrace the dark                 

68:                                        Who are my best friends? what... like you want me to name them all?????                

69:                                        What do I admire most about others? honesty. if a person is honest with me all the way through then I will really appreciate them                

70:                                        Can I sing? don't think so                

71:                                        Something I wish I could do? dance and play the piano                 

72:                                        If I won the lottery, what would I do? treat my mum and dad to what ever they wanted and the fly over to Hawaii and be with my omega and then move to Japan               

73:                                        Have I ever skipped school? no kids don't skip school!               

74:                                        Favourite place on the planet? Tokyo                 

75:                                        Where do I want to live? Tokyo                 

76:                                        Do I have any pets? nope              

77:                                        What is my current desktop picture? Kuroo and Tsukki in suits sat on a sofa                

78:                                        Early bird or night owl? night owl                

79:                                        Sunsets or sunrise? sunsets               

80:                                        Can I drive? legally no               

81:                                        Story behind my last kiss? goodbye lmao               

82:                                        Earphones or headphones? headphones              

83:                                        Have I ever had braces? yes for 2 years then I didn't wear my retainer and they moved back lmao               

84:                                        Story behind one of my scars? I have a scar at the top of my finger where I caught it in the part of the door where it locks and I was on skates and slipped and chopped my finger off. I went running to my mum and she put the tip back on and rushed me to hospital lmao               

85:                                        Favourite genre of music? metal               

86:                                        Who is my hero? my mum                

87:                                        Favourite comic book character? do overwatch comics count? if so then Genji                

88:                                        What makes me really angry? having to repeat myself                

89:                                        Kindle or real book?  real book              

90:                                        Favourite sporty activity? *throws up*                

91:                                        What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? sorting out bullies                

92:                                        What was my favourite subject at school?                

93:                                        Siblings? yes 3... 2 sisters and 1 brother               

94:                                        What was the last thing I bought? bread                

95:                                        How tall am I? 5″8

96:                                        Can I cook? yes I can                

97:                                        Can I bake? indeed                 

98:                                        3 things I love? anime, Tsukki, and petals               

99:                                        3 things I hate? slow updates, not getting haikyuu season 4 and my ex lmao                

100:                                        Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? boy friends                

101:                                        Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? usually boys               

102:                                        Where was I born? Hastings UK                

103:                                        Sexual orientation? pansexual               

104:                                        Where do I currently live? Hastings                

105:                                        Last person I texted? my mum                

106:                                        Last time I cried? I couple of weeks ago                 

107:                                        Guilty pleasure? im not guilty about any of my pleasures ;)                

108:                                        Favourite Youtuber? the anime man                

109:                                        A photo of myself. nope                

110:                                        Do I like selfies? if im the one taking it                

111:                                        Favourite game app? summoners war               

112:                                        My relationship with my parents? really good with mum and a bit rocky with dad                

113:                                        Favourite accents? Australian                 

114:                                        A place I have not been but wish to visit? Hawaii to visit my omega                 

115:                                        Favourite number?  7             

116:                                        Can I juggle? not a chance                 

117:                                        Am I religious? science                 

118:                                        Do I like space? yes               

119:                                        Do I like the deep ocean? nooooooo                

120:                                        Am I much of a daredevil? yeah, stupidly sometimes ahahaha               

121:                                        Am I allergic to anything? peanuts               

122:                                        Can I curl my tongue?  yeah I can ;)              

123:                                        Can I wiggle my ears?  yeeeeeee              

124:                                        Do I like clowns? I don't hate clowns?               

125:                                        The Beatles or Elvis? the beatles                

126:                                        My current project? wildest dreams                

127:                                        Am I a bad loser? sometimes               

128:                                        Do I admit when I wrong? yes I do                 

129:                                        Forest or beach? forest                

130:                                        Favourite piece of advice? “each day is a gift and not a given right” 

131:                                        Am I a good liar? I am really!!! shit at lying. I twitch and stutter, its not pretty.                

132:                                        Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? Hogwarts house- Slytherin                

133:                                        Do I talk to myself? sometimes                 

134:                                        Am I very social? I can be                 

135:                                        Do I like gossip? its like asking if I like to breath                

136:                                        Do I keep a journal/diary? nahhhhh               

137:                                        Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? I failed a few tests                 

138:                                        Do I believe in second chances? yeah                

139:                                        If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? find the ID and return it                

140:                                        Do I believe people are capable of change? no                

141:                                        Have I ever been underweight? nahhhhhh               

142:                                        Am I ticklish? yes, very...its embarrassing                 

143:                                        Have I ever been in a submarine? I have but it wasn't going under water lol                

144:                                        Have I ever been on a plane? indeed I have                

145:                                        In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? rebel Wilson to be me, Melissa McCarthy to be my mum lol                

146:                                        Have I ever been overweight? yeah still am a thic bit ahaha               

147:                                        Do I have any piercings? yes I have 10                

148:                                        Which fictional character do I wish was real? Tsukki or Kuroo maybe even Yamaguchi for best friend material or Tanaka for banta                 

149:                                        Do I have any tattoos? yes I have 4                

150:                                        What is the best decision I have made in life so far? to break up with my ex lmao                

151:                                        Do I believe in Karma? 100%              

152:                                        Do I wear glasses or contacts? no I have perfect vision                 

153:                                        What was my first car? n/a                

154:                                        Do I want children? if I didn't then I would be pretty fucked now ahaha                

155:                                        Who is the most intelligent person I know? I did have a friend called Aaron and he was very very very very smart                 

156:                                        My most embarrassing memory? I don't get embarrassed                

157:                                        What makes me nostalgic? the smell of clay                

158:                                        Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? yes many times                 

159:                                        Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? brains                

160:                                        What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? black lmao!!                

161:                                        Have I ever had a paranormal experience? yeah loads lol                 

162:                                        What do I hate most about myself? my weight                 

163:                                        What do I love most about myself? ugh.... my humour lol                 

164:                                        Do I like adventure? hell yeah!               

165:                                        Do I believe in fate? yes I do               

166:                                        Favourite animal? …. wasn't this already asked? well in case you forgot! leopard                 

167:                                        Have I ever been on radio? nope                

168:                                        Have I ever been on TV? yes I have hehehehe               

169:                                        How old am I? 25                

170:                                        One of my favourite quotes? because we don't have wings we look for ways to fly                 

171:                                        Do I hold grudges? a few                

172:                                        Do I trust easily?  no I really don't               

173:                                        Have I learnt from my mistakes? yeah, its important to always learn from your mistakes               

174:                                        Best gift I’ve ever received? a child               

175:                                        Do I dream? I dream big fam                 

176:                                        Have I ever had a night terror? yeah and its fucking horrible and wouldn't wish it upon anyone!!               

177:                                        Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? I do remember most of my dreams. one that comes to mind was a very very smutty one between a haikyuu pairing but I wont say it because ill be adding it to wildest dreams hehehehehe               

178:                                        An experience that has made me stronger? a break up from a long term relationship has made me grow as a person                 

179:                                        If I were immortal, what would I do? try and become what ive always wanted to                 

180:                                        Do I like shopping? I love shopping but only if I know what im going for or if I have money to spend                

181:                                        If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? murder                

182:                                        What does “family” mean to me? it means home                 

183:                                        What is my spirit animal? a leopard or a bunny lol                 

184:                                        How do I want to be remembered? I want to be remembered for having a sense of humour and for being very accepting                

185:                                        If I could master one skill, what would I choose? dancing                

186:                                        What is my greatest failure? not passing some gcse’s

187:                                        What is my greatest achievement? becoming a mum               

188:                                        Love or money? love                

189:                                        Love or career? career               

190:                                        If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? to the future about 5 years                

191:                                        What makes me the happiest? when my son is laughing and when I talk to the people I love                 

192:                                        What is “home” to me? home is where the heart is                

193:                                        What motivates me? ive had to be my own motivator most of my life                 

194:                                        If I could choose my last words, what would they be? just lost the game               

195:                                        Would I ever want to encounter aliens? yeah but the seem to only kid nap dumb arses                 

196:                                        A movie that scared me as a child? robo cop lmao                 

197:                                        Something I hated as a child that I like now? toad in the hole               

198:                                        Zombies or vampires? vampires                

199:                                        Live in the city or suburbs? city                 

200:                                        Dragons or wizards? dragons                

201:                                        A nightmare that has stayed with me? dunno               

202:                                        How do I define love? it cant be defined by another person, each person has to figure out there own type of love and for what reason and if it matters to them then no one else can judge                

203:                                        Do I judge a book by its cover? hell no I don't! I love people for who they are as a person not there appearance                

204:                                        Have I ever had my heart broken? yes of course                 

205:                                        Do I like my handwriting? nahhhh my hand writing is horrible                 

206:                                        Sweet or savoury? savoury                

207:                                        Worst job I’ve had? caravan park... cleaning them ><               

208:                                        Do I collect anything? anime stuff!!! :D               

209:                                        Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? shoes lmao!               

210:                                        What is on my bucket list? to move to Japan, to learn Japanese, to become an author, to learn an instrument.... the list goes on                 

211:                                        How do I handle anger? not very well ahahahaha               

212:                                        Was I named after anyone? no I wasn't                 

213:                                        Do I use sarcasm a lot? pfffft me? would I ever? of course not! *looks to the corner*                

214:                                        What TV character am I most like? ermmmmmmmmmmmm I would say a mix between Rosa from Brooklyn nine nine and Michael McIntyre                

215:                                        What is the weirdest talent I have? erm… I can twitch my nose and move my ears at the same time without touching them               

216:                                        Favourite fictional character? Tsukki 

[starlightsoulwriting]

Chaos Theory - Chapter Three

A/N: a.skdjfg;.ewukojhdP:SLK iM SCREAMING YOU GUYS 

I'm just really excited about this story and pacing myself is really difficult when I have more than one chapter ready but like I know I need to do that in order to keep consistent updates. I'm also trying to get a job so like wish me luck with that! Let me know what you think! Am I being too cryptic? too obvious? too slow? I need some help lol.

Masterlist

Crossposted on AO3

Chapter Three: Sphinx

11:23 PM

Liana didn’t have to wait long before she was able to see the advancing swarm of androids from over a mile straight down the street, white ants getting ever closer. By the time they would reach the entrance of Recall Center 5, every human would have long since cleared out of the area, prompted to leave by the news and emergency alerts. The block was already nearly deserted, but now even the national guard and SWAT had to clear out. She would be free to move without Perkins fucking things up (again). She stood from her crouch behind the concrete rails and grabbed her things before launching down the fire escape, the cold metal burning even through her fleece-lined gloves.

The National Gaurd had already cleared away all the bodies, leaving the street blue and her soul hollow, knowing her friends had been thrown away like common trash. Stupid Perkins, stupid president. Ruined everything. Her fist curled, nails sharp enough to feel through the leather and heat bloomed in her chest, her brows furrowing. She grit her teeth, before closing her eyes and collecting herself.

Breathe in… Hold…  Breathe out…

Focus.

There’s no use dwelling on what’s already done.

Opening her eyes, she then moved to lean against one of the buildings, rummaging around in her bag, wading through the brick-a-brack in search of what she needed. It’s showtime. She just hoped her words of advice to Connor had confused him enough so he would believe her - or at least build some trust. There was no way this would work if he refused to listen. At least he was a deviant now.

A shudder ran up her spine as memories flashed at the thought of Connor’s less than pleasant machine personality. Liana could still feel the echo of mechanical hands tighten around her throat. Fuck. She smashed her balled fist against the brick behind her.

Deep Breath. Refocus.

You’re safe.

She resumed her search, heartbeat more erratic than it was just a minute ago. She finally found what she was looking for in her bag, though, and she was thankful for the distraction. She pulled out two items from her canvas duffel, a smile tugging at her lips despite the swell of nerves and anger in her stomach. Months of work and it all came down to this next few minutes. She was in the home stretch. - if this worked.

If one looked at the two items in her possession, they wouldn’t seem like anything special. Of course, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Underneath, there was previously unheard of technology hiding. They were designed in every way to blend in, just like her duffel bag was. The silver “watch” in her hand had taken considerably more time to perfect than the canvas sack, however - cramming all the same components into a much smaller package was an obstacle befitting a Genius Grant Laureate such as herself. And she had done it, eventually, after months of chugging unhealthy amounts of coffee.

Her colleagues would be so impressed when she finally got the chance to show it off.

The other object was more discreet - a thin, clear, silicone disc about the size of a dime. If looked at closely, thousands and thousands of tiny circuits could be seen, capable of holding several petabytes of code. The code had been the hard part, actually - the memory disc was a standard piece of equipment for Android Techs looking to temporarily add new code to their charge. All they had to do was press it on the androids temple, opposite their LED, and it would be integrated into their systems.

The hard part of Liana’s job had not only been finding the RK800 model’s base codes, but also working with her software team to actually make a dependable subroutine. The AI techs at Cyberlife did not make her life easy, and while that was their job, Liana couldn’t help but hold a grudge against the coding team for making her take longer than she should’ve.

Although, time-wise, the only thing at stake was Liana’s ever-thinning sanity.

All she needed to do now was to get Connor to wear them and then the rest would follow.

The truth is self-evident, if one is able to remember it.

Connor saw her waiting long before they were in speaking distance. The warehouse androids got there first, swarming the street around Liana, pulling down the barriers of the Recall Center and setting their brethren free. The sound of crunching metal was music to her ears. She leaned back on the brick, trying to appear as casual and non-threatening as possible.

Connor, however, had other ideas, and stalked towards her, head down, eyes dark and fists loosely clenched at his side. Boy was he pissed.

He was always unhappy to see her after Markus died.

“Where are the others? What happened?” He was using his interrogation voice, deliberately standing too close, looming over her smaller frame to intimidate an answer out of her. So much for that whole trusting her thing Liana was hoping for. She took a deep breath, trying to remind herself that this was Connor, and she gently pushed him away with one hand. While he was displeased, he took the hint and withdrew slightly, thank fuck. He made her nervous when he was like that. Her lungs burned again with bad memories.

She rung her hands together and steeled her nerves. “Perkins shot them. I was keeping watch on the roof,” She couldn’t meet his eyes, the intensity in his stare too much for her right then. “Even with warning, there were too many soldiers for them. Josh told me to stay put even if something went wrong. Figured if they were dying I shouldn’t go with them.” Josh was unnerved by the thought of someone dying for a cause not their own, even if they were willing. Plus, she really disliked being shot, so she didn’t exactly insist. Besides, the mission was more important than Jericho at this point, unfortunately.

Connor wasn’t any happier with her, but he understood the logic all too well, and knowing Markus and Josh, it was as likely an explanation as any.

“And how did you know what would happen at Cyberlife tower? How do I know you’re not working for them?”

Liana barked out a very inappropriate laugh despite herself. “‘Cus they fucking shot me!” She shook her head, sighing. “More than once, actually.” She looked back at Connor, guessing correctly that he would be wearing a bewildered expression. “They kinda suck.” Liana shrugged at her understatement. “Although, I have found out a thing or two in my campaign against the evil corporate overlords.” She held up the Silicon coding chip. “For one thing, I know that the Amanda program still has a direct link to your head, and since they know you’re working against them, they are going to try to hack you.” She looked him dead in the (very nice looking) eyes just so he would understand how serious she was - how much hinged on him believing her. He was wary enough of the company that she hoped he would believe her. “Now, you could take the chance to find Kamski’s emergency exit from the Zen Garden Program, or you can take this.”

She took his hand in hers and placed the chip in his palm. “It deactivates the Amanda AI, so even if Cyberlife tries to make a connection it won't go through. You don’t have to trust me on this but…” she looked at her watch. 11:29 PM. “You have three minutes until they try to take over your program and assume control of the android rebellion. You can comb through that program in less than a few seconds to see if I’m telling the truth.”

Connor’s LED went solid yellow for a few seconds, his expression blank and eyes glazing over as he processed the information. When he finished, it flashed red for a moment, before returning to a calming, stable blue. He pressed the code to his temple, letting it deactivate the proper AI subroutines. Liana smiled. Step One: complete. His gaze was focused as he searched her face, confused. “How… do you know all this, Lieutenant?”

Aw, the poor thing was used to knowing everything. She crossed her arms and leaned back on the wall, head resting on the brick so she could look at him properly. “You should just call me Liana. Hank and I won't know which one of us you're talking to if you call us both ‘Lieutenant’ all the time,” she gave a soft laugh. Connor was so formal all the time. “but as for me knowing things I shouldn’t? You should be able to figure that out on your own in a few hours, actually. If I told you right now there’s no way in hell you’d believe me, babe.” His LED blipped red again, but Liana wasn’t sure if it was because of confusion or being called ‘babe’ - from her experience, though, it was probably the pet name.

“You said the same thing at the church - that I wouldn’t believe the truth. I assure you, I’m running very low on explanations for how you know all this. I would be glad for any reasoning, however absurd.”

His expression had been steadily softening throughout the conversation until it reached the familiar puppy-dog look that Liana had sorely missed. It had been a while since she’s seen it in earnest. A bloom of warmth spread through her chest and she held back a smile, wary of confusing the poor android further. “Nah, Con, you’ll see for yourself what’s up. Meet me at the café down the block from the station. 9 o’clock on the morning of November 6th, alright? I’ll explain everything to you then.”

Connor’s LED flickered between red and yellow, and he shook his head. “That’s an entire year away, Lieu- Liana.” She just smiled at the use of her name, ignoring his protest, and presented Connor with the silver watch from her bag. Initiate step two.

“Congratulations on saving the day, Connor. I know you don’t need this to tell time, but I want you to have it. As thanks for putting the Cyberlife suits in their place.”

Connor stared at the gift, yellow blinking LED punctuating the ever-increasing silence between them. But slowly, he reached his hand out and took the watch, clipping it carefully around his left wrist. “Thank you. I’ve never received a gift before.” His voice was soft and Liana had to hold herself back again from hugging him. It was almost too much for her heart to handle.

Breathe in.

Breath out.

Focus.

She smiled gently, finishing the conversation. “I’m glad to give it, Con,” She turned her attention to the androids milling about around them and let out a chuckle. “You should probably talk to them, though, too.” He held her gaze for a moment longer, and turned away.

Suddenly, the spell over the two was broken, and Connor was back among the sea of robots around them. Step Two: complete.

As she watched him take the stage and begin his speech to the mass of machines, the clock turned over.

11:36 PM

and then they were both gone

Tags: @rk800downloading

[moonlightreal]

I know, Winx season 9 pics have dropped and there’s a lot to say about them, but first I’d like to give a little attention to the “magical things” side of this tumblr.

Some two years back there was a reddit thread: [Serious]Have you ever known someone who wholeheartedly believed that they were wolfkin/a vampire/an elf/had special powers, and couldn't handle the reality that they weren't when confronted? What happened to them?

It’s an amazing thing.  

I spent hours reading the huge thread when it was posted, but since it’s got thirteen thousand comments it’s a little unwieldy to read the whole thing now.  I thought I’d pull out a few of the more interesting/fun ones for my readers who are interested in magical things to see what we might learn about the experiences of magical beings living on earth today.  “A few posts” turned into many pages worth of posts and I’m not sure it’ll be a LOT easier to read than the original thread, but it should be a BIT easier to read anyway...

SatansSlutz

A girl in my school, lets call her Emma, believed she came from a different planet that had horses as their gods. Emma convinced my friend and many others that a sheep had told her she was from a magical planet and that she had to worship horses because they are her gods. We were around 11/12 when this was going on and I couldn't believe my friend believed her. Emma told everybody that she could speak to horses and that they would one day take over the world and we would all turn into horse people. She used to write letters, emails and fake phone calls from her 'home planet' If anybody questioned her or told her that she wasn't actually from there and was a normal human, and not in fact a human horse hybrid, she would cry hysterically and then hold a really serious grudge against that person. She hated me. Her friendship group all wore matching bracelets and sang songs about horses and drew pictures of them. This went on until we were around 14. Im pretty sure she would make a great cult leader though as she managed to convince so many people.

ShrewdDis

My best friend in high school and my first two years of college genuinely believed that she could not only speak to forestry, but that she was a wingless fairy. She would often times, when we went walking her dogs, lean to trees and translate for me what the rustling of nature spoke of. She also would scribble in her books what she called "new alchemy", violently scribbled circles and vauge shapes she believed held magical and fae magik through her own powers.

We had a falling out after a few years, after she moved to the other side of the country to be with her grandmother. We started talking about a few months ago and I found out she had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. She is currently on two types of medication and she told me her walks are depressingly quiet now.

dykexdaddy

Yeah. They had really severe childhood abuse/trauma to contend with, and coped with it by believing they were psychic. (We met in like junior high when they still believed this.)

Eventually, they realized that they weren't entirely wrong -- just a little bit misdirected. They're a deeply empathic person who, thanks to their abuse history, is very good at reading facial expressions, body language, etc. They're actually a really wonderful person, and ended up becoming a social worker and volunteer at a domestic violence shelter, where all of the qualities that made them a good "psychic" make them GREAT at helping others who are going through a difficult time.

Nomaddening

I hope this gets pushed to the top. A lot of kids like this really do come from traumatic upbringings that aren't always super obvious. Pairing a tumultuous household and bullying at school can be extremely difficult to cope with, and a lot of kids find comfort in identifying with fantasy characters or species or who are also "traumatized." (Think of a werewolf who has to hide from the public because he/she is a danger, or fairies who are the last of their kind, etc.) This story is so wonderful, though. There are a lot of ways that people can learn to cope with and then utilize their past to benefit the world in some way. Unfortunately those things usually take time, healing, and often therapy as well.  If you still talk to this person, please let them know that this internet stranger is extremely proud.

DoctorDM

This explains my own feelings of being an "Empath" when I was in middle school. Used to be convinced that I could sense other peoples' emotions, as a kind of magical sense, and then project my own feelings and start to affect their own emotional state. Turns out, it's just very keen observation and intuition on body language and expressions, as well as verbal tones and sometimes even their word choice. And the "projective empath" stuff was just that I'm a super chill, calm and quiet dude who hates drama, fighting and anger.  Doesn't help that my mom convinced me that I had this magical power, and would talk about how she could feel my "gift" getting stronger.

m4ch1n3g0d

Unfortunately, yes. I met a girl at a very young age while going to church. Her family was deeply religious, but in a messed up way. So we dated off and on, and after high school hit it off pretty strong. She honestly believed she was a fairy. She would get faced with the reality of not being a fairy and completely shut down, sometimes even attempting suicide.

Found out later she has really bad Schizophrenia and had to get away from her after she discovered drugs and I couldn't help her anymore.

(deleted)

This isn’t exactly what you’re asking for, but it’s similar. From first to sixth grade, I had this friend Ally that genuinely believed she could see dead people and demons and what not. She would do the stereotypical vampire things (pretending to bite people, showing off her canines, talking about blood, etc) but that wasn’t like her main thing.

She had this one “demon” that she said followed her everywhere and hid in the bathrooms that we just called “It”. Ally always described It as being whiter than paper with two slits for a nose and sharp fangs. I whole heartedly believed her because why wouldn’t I? I was a dumb kid that wanted supernatural things to be real, and she was my best friend that had no reason to lie to me. I literally was too scared to use the restroom at school because she said that It always peeked over the stall.

As the years went on, though, I eventually realized that she was making it up. But the conviction with which she said that kind of stuff was scary. I know her parents were going through a rough patch at the time, so I think she was just making it up for attention, which she got.

I haven’t talked to Ally in while, but another friend of mine ran into her at a fair recently and said she seemed to be doing well. I’m glad things are better for her.

AbortRetryImplode

One of my closest friends that I lived with through most of college thought she had special powers. It was...weird...to say the least. She'd been bullied all her life and I always reckoned she'd developed this as a coping mechanism. The thing that really stood out to me though was that she was so good at getting people to play along with it and I have no idea how. I saw this scenario play out a few times during the time we lived together and I was always so confused as to how she kept getting people on board so to speak. General scenario went like this: she'd meet someone and if she really liked them, then after awhile she'd tell me in a very knowing sort of way that she thought they had "the gift" (aka they also had powers...she told me once she thought I had them and I just kind of smiled and nodded and said, "Okie dokie then.") So then she'd get together for lunch or something with this person and she'd launch into this full-on spiel about how she was all that was standing between the world and destruction and she could tell that they were also special and she needed someone to help her fight these battles (not literal battles more like astral-projection type battles) and help her guard "the gates". Hilarious side note, the gates were colored: cyan, magenta, yellow and black. She got mad at me one time when I referred to them as the Printer Gates. And you'd think that after unloading all that people would run screaming but they....didn't. They'd show up at our apartment to talk to her and they'd be talking about these battles and stuff. All I can figure is she was good at spotting people with over-active imaginations who didn't fit in well. She probably would've made a great cult leader TBH. She now works in IT and we still talk to each other pretty regularly. She wrote a fantasy novel that she's trying to get published which was actually quite good when she let me read the draft. I'm guessing that became the outlet for her stories when she grew up so to speak. I kind of want to ask her about what was going on with her, but I kind of don't want to open that can of worms ever again. When she wasn't in full-on wtf mode she was the most kind and genuinely fun to be around person. I'm sort of afraid the Printer Gates will rear their ugly head again if I bring it up. EDIT: For everyone that keeps assuming people were going along with it because she was hot I'm just going to leave it at this - the bullying she'd been dealing with was because of her physical appearance and weight. I think the appeal is more along the lines of what one person said in a reply (in an unfortunate parallel to Charles Manson)...she was good at spotting cast off people and then you're just excited to belong to something so you go along with it.

Emuhily

I actually went to high school with a lot of people like this who eventually grew out of it. I remember one girl specifically because, based on her facebook, she has not grown out of it. She claimed she had multiple personality's, her main two being herself and the other being a 200 year old British vampire. We live in the US and she would put on a British accent and everything. It seems she has found a partner just like her though and they're planning a pretty extravagant vampire wedding. Good on them.

Edit: A lot of people speaking on her possibly having a personality disorder and I don't know her mental health history so I truly have no clue. To me it just seemed like she really liked vampires and liked living in a world where she believed in them. She was able to turn the personality on whenever she wanted. But I shouldn't speak on anyone's mental health and either way, I hope she's doing well!

Zanki

When I was a kid, I think my classmates believed I thought I was a Power Ranger. I wore morphers constantly, it was my favourite show on TV and I was kind of obsessed. Now, at the same time, I may have pretended I was a Power Ranger in play, but I knew I wasn't. I kept the morpher with me because I was so freaking alone I needed something. I was getting treated badly at home, school was just as bad and I was incredibly anxious and I just broke. I was puking every single morning before school multiple times. Being that anxious all the time sucks and I just wished the Rangers would come and rescue me. That's why the morphers were always with me. I was 9/10 and looking back, I knew they were the only reason why I'm still here.

The thing is though, I enjoyed the show until I was 13 because the show grew up with me. I kept it all quiet, the morphers stayed with me but hidden in my backpack after I turned 11. Somehow, thanks to my ass hole mum, everyone knew I still watched it. Even after I stopped, people still believed I was still obsessed with it. they weren't wrong, but I kept it all quiet. Also, I don't know why it was such an issue in the first place. Everyone seemed to think I thought I was a Power Ranger and I don't know why. That crap even followed me to Uni via one guy from my school. He very quickly shut up when I asked him why he was pulling this crap here. I had never spoken to him before or had anything to do with him. He stayed out of my way after that.

People. I never thought I was a Power Ranger. I just enjoyed the show and loved thinking about how it would be to be one. I mostly just thought about how I finally had a group of friends to hang out with and talk to. Actually fighting some monster very rarely came into it. I was just an incredibly lonely and scared kid who latched onto something as a coping mechanism.

Edit: Thanks for the gold and silver everyone. I really appreciate it! Please, if you want to spend your money on this post, please consider donating the money to a charity instead. This is the one I love, they have an Amazon wish list to buy stuff for the animals in the park itself and a regular donation page. I'd love to see us do something good for something I really care about: https://monkeyworld.org/support-us/donations-and-appeals/

IAmManMan

When I was in uni one of my housemates had his mate come over and hang with us one night. At the time we were all into tabletop RPG and stuff so when I started chatting to him and he mentioned he's a Half-Angel, Half-Demon Demon Hunter I initially didn't bat an eye at it. I was like "That's cool, I'm a telekinetic spirit medium myself" and we chatted happily about it for maybe ten minutes before I began to clock on that he wasn't talking about RPG.

I gotta admit, when I did figure it out I was not diplomatic. Not aggressive or anything, but not diplomatic. I may have laughed at him.

chillinn_at_work

When I was a kid there was an odd girl at my church. She and I were the same age and grew up together so we were friends by default, but she was nice and I didn't mind hanging out with her. I thought she had a wild imagination, and one time she told me that she was a witch and her little brother was a warlock, but she didn't know about her younger siblings because they were too young to do magic still. I just said "Cool!" or something and let her tell me a little bit about it, then we started talking about boys and school and the norm. When we were 12 we started going to our church's summer camp for girls (Girl's Camp, very clever name) and she would hardly ever leave her cot. Everyone thought she was a weirdo already so they just let her be, and even when I talked to her about it she just claimed she didn't feel well.

Our 2nd year at GC we went to a pretty far away state park from home, and the group from our town was large enough we needed two cabins, the older girls took one and the 1st and 2nd years took the other. One day around lunch time, I came back from the mess hall and a lot of the older girls were in our cabin talking to her, and apparently while they were doing the bored-teen-at-camp thing of yelling into a box fan to "chop" your voice, they woke her up and made her angry, so she screamed out the window at them that she'd hex them if she didn't stop. Now they were here to test her abilities as a witch, approaching it very civilly but trying very hard not to laugh or criticize her while it played out.

Mean girl 1: "What can you do?" Witch girl: "I can make people do things." Mean girl 1: "Show us! Make me do something!" They set up a whole show of it, they put WG on one end of the cabin and everyone else stood between her and MG1 at the other side. WG closed her eyes and concentrated, and then told MG2 what she was going to make MG1 do, which was look at a specific person nearby (it happened to be MG1's cousin, now MG3). MG2 went to go see if it happened and just exclaimed almost immediately "OH MY GOSH IT WORKED!" MG1 hadn't done anything at all, but the whole group of them decided to convince WG that she'd done whatever she set out to do so they could antagonize her about more of her "abilities." Each time she showed them something new, they pretended it worked, and started treating her like their mascot the rest of camp.

Because of these events, the whole group of girls at church relentlessly made fun of her at every opportunity about her supposed powers. She ended up going to therapy and being an introverted shut-in for years. Senior year, she started going to public school and I got to see her more again.

The end result and your TL;DR if you like: She told me she lied to the therapist about ceasing her magical practices to make her parents get off her back, and that not wearing it proudly had cursed her and caused a physical disability she'd developed. Now that she was getting ready to graduate she'd move out and get better and help people with her magic. That was 10 years ago now.

NotAnElfGirl

Buckle the fuck up, everyone. Because I WAS that kid in middle school.

I wholeheartedly believed I was a forest elf. I don't even really remember how it started, but I always loved fantasy novels growing up, especially ones about mythical creatures and nympths and faeries, all that shit. In middle school, I wore a lot of earthy colors, always had flowers in my hair, joined the archery club (which I was NOT good at, mind you), I wore elf ears to school, and I mostly walked around barefoot (not a school, obviously). I thought I would communicate with forest animals and navigate myself using only the trees and any water source. Needless to say, I was definitely picked on a lot.

I'm 26 now and an IT consultant, married to a damn great guy, and have a baby girl on the way. I never picked up archery again, I promise.

EDIT: I'm dying at some of these comments, thank you guys for your humor. And for the silver! Definitely thinking about actually trying archery seriously, but with a baby on the way, doesn't seem super possible right now. Maybe I'll raise a family of elves and I'll make a hobby of it with my husband when my daughter's old enough. :)

EDIT 2: AAAAND THERE'S THE GOLD, GUESS I'M GOING BACK TO ARCHERY, FELLAS.

MooPig48

I knew a guy who thought he was Jesus Christ. He was a super nice guy. We were both in our early/mid 20s and I was dating his best friend.

Now, he didn't just waltz around talking about this, spouting it off to anyone who would listen. He had to really trust you. At some point he decided that I was a good enough friend that he could open up to me about it. So we had a long convo. For some reason a goodly part of the story was that he woke up one morning at the age of 10. However, the night and those dreams had lasted a good 30 years. He lived every single moment of his life until the age of 40 or so, then woke up and it was all a dream. And his life played out just as it had in that 30 year dream, every moment. He said that he knew ahead of time that he was going to meet me. He said that he knew when WWIII would start and what would happen. When I asked for details he told me that he was not allowed to tell me that information. And then he told me the most important part of it all, which is that he was the 2nd coming of Jesus and that he was destined to save the world. But was also not allowed to get more specific.

I can't stress enough how nice of a dude he was. He was a damn good friend and the gentlest of souls. And you would never have guessed he was carrying this dark secret, this weight if you will of "knowing" that he had this tremendous responsibility and destiny. And he was SO lucid when he was telling me about it. And this is a man without a sense of irony in his being- he was absolutely serious.

The relationship with his friend didn't last long though we remained friendly. Eventually we lost touch and I saw John (Savior dude) on the side of the road. Stopped and talked to him for a few and it was just depressing. I think his delusions had caught up to him. He looked like a zombie. He'd lost about 40 lbs and...had ended up with a colostomy bag due to heavy drug use. It was quite sad. I sometimes wonder whether he had "foreseen" that in his dream, somehow I doubt it.

_Lizzl_

I had a friend who believed in a religion that was build for an anime. She believed (I hope it's past tense, I haven't talked to her in 4 years) in the religion from Naruto, the one Hidan believed in. (I think it's called Jashinism or something like that.) She believed that Hidan was a prophet and she had to do as Hidan did. She would cut herself to sacrifice some of her blood, she would eat meat rare because apparently that was the only way and she would ask people she felt close to, if they would be willing to sacrifice their blood.

When I last talked to her she was 21 and still believed in that, had so since she was 16. I think she was a severely messed up girl trying to find herself, but I don't know what believing in a fictional religion would give anyone.

MallyOhMy

Met a girl at camp who honestly believed she was a cat and had an invisible tiger boyfriend. She was sent to camp by her foster parents, so I figured it was just an important thing to her to believe it. Now I realize that it was probably a coping mechanism for all she had gone through.

She and I were both pretty lonely (she didn't know many people, I was a social outcast), but we had a lot of fun spending the week together. I never saw her again, but I hope she was settled down with a good family and eventually didn't need to have that coping mechanism. She didn't seem too sure what she thought of those foster parents, but they had chosen to send her to camp when she heard about it and was interested. She definitely enjoyed getting to explore outside.

(deleted)

It wasn't until I'd read several posts that I remembered grades 5 through 9 and realized that you were talking to me. None of your fantasy characters for me - I decided the reason I couldn't relate to others was that I was an android (I tried being Spock for a while, but when "The Questor Tapes" premiered on TV, it felt like a better fit.) . It helped me to suppress my emotions. Instead of feeling left out and alone, I became an outsider, here to observe, but not necessarily understand, humanity. A motorcycle accident at 15 put an end to the fantasy. X-rays and an operation to repair my leg provided undeniable evidence against the fantasy. I did come up with some elaborate explanations, but each was easily demolished by logic. I eventually had to accept that I'm biologically human. Even if I still don't get people.

gingersnappeas13

I used to work in a psychiatric facility with adolescence. We had a girl that acted like a Jedi. She would come out of her room in the morning rolling on the ground, shouting there were Storm Troopers and take her imaginary light saber and attack them full force. Every morning. She talked as if she were truly friends with Yoda and Luke Skywalker and would have full on conversations with them throughout the day. (She would also catch fairy like creatures that would fly around her and put them in her pocket.) When confronted, she would argue and say that whomever was arguing with her was a minion of the darkside, and had their minds warped by Darth Vader. This went on daily for about 8 months. She told me that Obi Wan wanted me to be her Jedi trainer to reach the next level in her force abilities. After work, I wrote up a 20 page manual detailing next steps and fun little things to help her on her Jedi Journey, incorporating reworded parts of her treatment plan (She was there for aggression and running away). Through her working in her Jedi ways she learned what she needed to do to cope with her aggression and part of it was "a Jedi need not tell others they are a Jedi, only the wise with the force should be able to perceive those with the Jedi powers." She eventually told me she knew she wasn't a Jedi (her first admission ever), but that life was hard, and it was easier convincing herself of this alternate reality instead of acknowledging and dealing with the pains and disappointments in her current reality. Her improvement rapidly brought about a release to return home. I don't know how she's doing now, but wish her nothing but the best.

ImportantDiscussion

Ok. This is really hard to type, and the first time I've said anything in a public forum (only close friends & family have known). Also forgive formatting, I'm on mobile at work.

Around 2009 (dates are fuzzy), I had this recurring hallucination of a blonde woman following me around. I started to listen closely to her when she wasn't paying attention, and discovered she was responsible for having me ejected from "The Council".

I started to believe that I was some kind of powerful ancient being charged with watching over the human race. I spent 3 weeks in the psych ward, under 24 hour supervision, with daily psychiatric treatments, and suffered a major psychotic break when faced with reality.

It took 2 years and a lot of good people for me to get "better", but thinking about it still hurts. Nobody knows to this day what brought the whole thing on.

nixiedust

I met a woman who said she could communicate with trees. She really believed it. But I didn't see any reason to confront her about it. It seemed to bring her solace and really just amounted to her hugging trees on her own property and connecting with them. No harm done and it had a positive impact on her. Maybe it was just her way of telling herself something in a way she could handle.

Anyway, sometimes the voices in your head can be good friends.

iamapieceofshit___

There was a little gang of LARPers at my university who turned into a wizard elf (?) cult! They started out pretty normal as I understand it, just a group of nerds who hung out in a little fort in the woods and did whatever LARPers do. Their 'king' was kind of a weird dude who walked around barefoot a lot but seemed basically harmless.

Apparently he started getting increasingly controlling over his subjects, so first they all had to sit together in the cafeteria, and then they had to use their larper names all the time, I think eventually they all stopped wearing shoes, they could only take classes he approved of, it was a whole thing. Turns out he'd convinced them he was some kind of magical elf lord who had unlocked their fantasy-world other selves (through the power of LARP, I guess) and bound their fates together with his mystical powers etc etc.

Eventually the administration figured out there was some kind of Serious Craziness going on, King Elf Wizard got expelled, and I think most of the cultists ended up dropping out.

...and that's why my friends and I had to convince several administrators we weren't planning on becoming cult leaders when we started a Dungeons & Dragons club, lol.

(deleted)

A friend of mine has some king of delirium syndrom. Two years ago, the doctors were trying to find a treatment that would work, so in the meantime he had some episodes. One morning, we were having breakfast and the conversation went something like this :

Friend : I really like your phone. I feel it has good energy.

Me : You feel energy in objects ?

F : Yes, there are good and bad objects and I feel their energy.

Me (curious to see where this is going) : can you explain me how that works ?

F : Well, there is magic on Earth, and like tides, there's an ebb and flow. Right now, the magic is getting stronger and in two years time, it will be at its mightiest and I'll be able to be who I really am !

Me : Who you really are ? What do you mean ?

Friend (extremely serious) : well, I'm a dragon.

I took his hands and asked him if he had heard the words he had just said. And something happened in his eyes. A sudden realization he had said something that wasn't real. His eyes became teary and I told him it was okay, that now he was in the real world and that even if he wasn't a dragon, he was someone great. He had a sadness on his face I won't forget. I asked him if it was hard, and he said yes, that when reality started to blend with fantasy, he had no idea it was happening.

Since then, they found a treatment that works for him and he's been stable and "in the moment" ever since.

Gamersguildposts

My college sweetheart's first college boyfriend believed he was half-angel. He was part of this weird clique of nerd guys who hung around with a single chubby witch who was a severe narcissist. Then he decided to try to gain free will and get a girlfriend, and then she got involved in the whole thing... it was brutal. I had a pretty decent background in the occult but seeing this sort of thing reminded me how practice combined with a touch of mental health issues can be a dangerous thing. When she got out we were in a D&D group together, and it took the next year between therapists, parents, and just being there as a healthy role model to get her out of it. She's doing great, cool kid, husband, the works.

As for the guy? He had a terrible accident around the same time he tried to pull a sword cane on me for 'stealing his soulmate', dropped out of school for mental health issues with a broken nose and wrist, and last time I heard flips burgers in his home town under a boatload of college debt. Dude tried to do a magic spell then, when I didn't stop just ignoring him went to bushwhack me. My buddy and I were on top of him until the campus police showed up, from their main station 100 yards away.

maryjokappa

Knew a girl in middle school who had a series of identity crisis’s. First she was a vampire, then I think she was a cat, and apparently before that she was an elf for a little bit. Eventually she settled on being a fairy. Honestly she dressed pretty normal, but in between classes and lunch her and her posse of otherkin friends would cast spells, talk about what to do about the dark wizard causing violence and war in their world, made plans to reveal that our wood shop teacher was a werewolf (or something). She would go into corners where she could converse in peace with her other fairy kin (she would talk to walls). She stuck with it for a while, even after her friends moved on. She got teased a lot and became semi violent with people for questioning her identity. Apparently some kid in high school started flirting with her and professing his love as a joke. She knew he was teasing her and good on her for telling him to shove off. I guess he took things too far and somehow the police got involved. Never knew what happened to her.

_sneepsnorp_

I once had two friends in the sixth grade who I’ll call Callie and Rheah. Once Rheah told me and Callie that when she was at the beach once she picked up a seashell and that her head hurt and her eyes hurt. We were obviously amazed and asked her many questions about it, but the answers were always vague.

Through several stories later, she found at her eyes glowed red. Throughout our friendship, the stories transitioned into her being able to control when her eyes glow and that she is a fairy or fae from Ireland (her family had roots in Ireland apparently). She told us she couldn’t tell her parents though because of reasons I don’t remember. She proceeded to tell me that she also lived to be like 200 years and that’s she could choose one human being to live long. I asked her to pick me and she said yes, but let’s be real now that I’m in highschool I lowkey don’t want to live long lmao.

Anyway, although she told us all this she would never actually proved it.

She once said she could go into others dreams. I asked her to go into mine last night. She was not in my dream. In the morning at school, I asked her why she didn’t come and she said it’s because she had a headache. Kind of an interesting excuse because last night I had a headache and told her about it...

When she told Callie and I she could now control when her eyes glow, she would never show us saying it would “scare us” or something.

Months later, Rhea and Callie got in a fight and I was torn between them. In the end, we all are now not friends and we don’t even talk anymore. All I can say now is that it was a weird experience and though it most likely wasn’t true, I kind of want to know if she still thinks she’s a fairy and if she remembers this.

Moribund42

I am one of these people. I have dysmorphia and feel so strongly that I'm a winged elf/demonic general and that I'm in the wrong place and wrong time. I feel like I should be dead on the battlefield. I've been diagnosed with depression and disassociative identity disorder. I take a handful of medication and have had ECT. My inability to handle reality gets so great sometimes I pull on my hair and scream and cry and harm myself. I've attempted suicide several times and often feel like I can't be saved. It's absolutely maddening, especially when it's so hard to talk about to anyone without being viewed as completely insane or stupid, but it's very real to me. I try so hard to accept reality but just can't do it. I hate the body I'm in, I hate what I see in the mirror. I don't know what will happen to me, I don't know if madness will take me or if I can accept what I really am - no amount of evidence changes this mind that feels so truly to be not human. I have phantom limb syndrome of wings which I can't take away! Laughing at people like us is torturous when we're tortured already... I'm thankful for this question, maybe some understanding can come of it to people who think we make this up for fun or whatever they may believe.

yongf

Have you heard of Fictionkin? A person who wholeheartedly believes that they are a fictional character. I'm a roleplayer and cosplayer, but an old friend at school took stuff way beyond that and was convinced she was the alter-ego of Hermione Granger - literally Hermione disguised as a Muggle, and her whole life dedicated to acting as the perfect Muggle with a hidden secret in the hope that would bring her to the Wizarding World and be allowed to drop the charade and live as Hermione. People just went along with it, Harry Potter was very popular at the time and they just thought she was a roleplay nerd.

From what I can tell from the connections I keep, she is in the cosplay scene back home and funds event attendance and her Hermione hair by selling erotic Hermione cosplay photo prints.

Neheil

Well, it's time to out myself.

When I was young I was 100% sure that I descended from cats. You know, the whole evolution from apes thing? I was convinced that somehow my bloodline had evolved from cats instead.

I would climb trees, hiss and meow at people, purr, chase birds on all fours, and was pretty sure that my night vision was superior because I had cat eyes, duh.

In the end, when faces with the reality of science and logic, I accepted my human nature and grew out of it. Turns out I was just a lonely, delusional kid who liked cats a bit too much.

But I'm pretty sure that my old classmates still remember me as "that weird girl in the corner that hissed at people".

Jokes on me, I am now deathly allergic to cats.

(deleted)

I was one of these kids. I thought I already had a 'power' of relieving pain, which was just strong placebo, if it did work at all. I was convinced that soon something in my life would happen (like finding a magical pool or whatever) that will enable me to turn into a mermaid at will (I didn't want h2o's just-touch-water bullshit as that would be too inconvenient). Some girls around my age in my country wrote blogs about being and becoming a mermaid, and I tried a few of their 'ways to become one'. One of them involved drinking water with a load of salt and lemon. We did have vivid imagination.

Hajitabeebus

Yes, they thought that they were a part of the show "Steven Universe". They thought that they were a diamond called "green diamond", and when i asked where their gem was, they claimed that it was stolen by a gang (yes i know you can't remove a gem but we're dealing with an idiot here). They said they came here through interdimensional travel and that they were trying to get home. Really i know multiple people like this but they all grew out of it. Not her though. She's been riding that train since the concept of diamonds was revealed, so yeah. She also claimed she was stabbed multiple times in the back and regenerated but that's not part of this.

TivoDelNato

Let me tell you about the time I accidentally co-founded a cult.

So I grew up Wiccan, right. All this means is that the adults had an excuse to get drunk around a bonfire every weekend, and we kids felt we had one up over the goth kids in our school. Me though, I didn’t tell many people about this because I didn’t want people to think of me as that guy, the one who thinks they’re a wizard and can do shit with their mind, and all the tropes mentioned in the rest of these comments. For me it was just a religion.

Anyway. I had this friend in high school. We called him Trenchcoat. Because he always wore a big black Dylan Klebold style trenchcoat, even in the oven-like heat of the Texas summers. Really good at drawing. We’d usually skip gym class to hang out and draw, talking about comics, or other general nerd shit. Somehow we got on the topic of religion. He said he was part of some very specific Russian Orthodox church where you weren’t allowed to sit and they made you sing in Russian or Latin the whole time, and the place was a total cult. “You think that’s weird,” I said, and proceeded to talk about my kooky religion like it was a shiny pokemon card I was showing off. He was amazed. He asked if he could come over for our next ritual. I didn’t see the harm in it so I said “sure fuck it why not,”

Well let me tell you, he went balls deep into it. He came over for a couple rituals, and then started diving into “private research” which mostly included a stack of books on the occult, mixed interchangeably with random fantasy books, whatever he could steal from our local college library. It largely dominated our conversations. At first, I was kind of amused, and then I was horrified at what I’d created, as he started to fail to tell the difference between fantasy and reality. It was fairly obvious that he was pulling a lot of his beliefs from fantasy and anime. “Opening his chakra gates” like in Naruto. His “angelic spirit guardian” was a direct copy/paste from some fantasy book I can’t recall from the top of my head. I still read books today and find myself saying “ah, so that’s where he got that”. I almost lost my shit when he told me he was the reincarnated spirit of every great wizard from Alleister Crowley to Merlin, to Ptolomy (pronounced PUH-tolomy, with a little bit of spit every single time). Also, he claimed to be a number of great warriors and martial artists from history like Musashi Miyamoto because of course he was. But he actually believed he himself was a legendary martial artist and got his ass publicly kicked on more than one occasion.

So I’d been quietly observing this spiral into madness. Half nervously entertained, and half concerned, wondering when exactly I should pull the plug on this science experiment. Then he started getting followers. My girlfriend at the time was first. He told her about some past life she had, and she fell for it hook, line, and sinker. It was half like a cold reading, where he susses out all the things you want to hear, and the other half was him spinning his own narrative about how she’d sworn an eternal master-servant oath to him when he was PUH-tolomy. Pretty soon he had a throng of loyal goth and weeb kids hanging on to his every word. He’d take them out to empty fields and meditate and psychically battle demons that were assailing him and his followers. “Woah did you see that grass move!?” said one amazed weeb kid. We were sitting quietly in a field, but he had such a hold on these nerds that you’d think they were watching the latest season of Dragon Ball Z. And of course after he was physically weak and would need a loyal volunteer to buy him lunch.

Pretty soon, he had a doomsday prophecy that God had ordained he alone to stop with the help of his most loyal followers, and he believed there were multiple assassination plots against him. He started getting violent towards strangers in public (I had perfected the art of yanking him back by the collar of his trenchcoat before he could bow up to strangers and get snapped like a toothpick. “You’re right. I don’t know my own strength. I might have killed them,”). It was all getting to be extreme and at this point I didn’t know where the brakes were on this crazy train.

We were already two or three years into our friendship at this point. He had been graduated for some time, and was now relying on adults from his Russian Orthodox church for rent-free places to stay (and most concerning to me, he was starting to convince them of certain parts of his narrative too). But it all kind of came grinding to a halt when his loyal throng of followers graduated and started going off to college. He started lamenting about betrayals. His doomsday plot ramped up to extreme levels of crazy in a mad dash to grab everyone’s attention. Even I was carefully trying to back off by now.

At this point he tried to kill himself with children’s tylenol. He was either clearly trying to desperately grasp for attention, or was sooo delusional that he thought it would work. “I had to take the whole bottle because I have a higher constitution than most mere mortals.” He was committed to a mental hospital for about a month or two. And it was the most blissful time of mine and the rest of my friends’ lives. We did normal 19-year-old shenanigans. We played video games till dawn. Drank way too much Mountain Dew. I could go to functions within my religion and not have to worry if that would be the day someone would finally snap and try to make me drink dog blood or something crazy.

And then he got out. We had kind of an intervention for him where we basically told him that enough was enough and if he tried to bring up any psuedo-magic bullshit again, we’d be out. He was initially combative. He told us about how he was being mistreated by everyone and how his mom had molested him as a kid and he just took all of his baggage and dumped it inside out so that we would look at it and feel sorry and let him go back to using us to make him feel better, but we weren’t having any of it. He eventually gave in after a kind of half (non)apology “sorry you feel used” kind of thing.

For the next few weeks, we’d shut him down or ignore him every time he‘d bring up chakra gates or spirits or PUH-tolomy, and then it seemed he was starting to get better. And then he tried doing himself in with the children’s tylenol again. I met him at the hospital and told him that he desperately needed psychological help, and that my job was to be his friend, not his psychiatrist nor the lieutenant in his witch army, and that I was no longer able to put up with his shit. He left me and my friends an identical melodramatic voicemail about how “[his] blood would be on [our] hands” and we couldn’t help but laugh imagining him practice that shit in the mirror for hours.

I’d see him at a funeral a couple of years later, but that’s the last time I directly communicated with him. I still keep tabs on him though. I’m terrified he’s going to end up as either the next mass shooter or the next Jim Jones. So I keep a google alert on his name and I periodically check his social media to see if he’s living on a compound in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of grown weebs and a stockpile of chemical weapons.

aversiontherapy

Oh god, I have a lot to say here, and it’s all extremely embarrassing.

Many moons ago, in my teens in the 80’s, a few friends of mine and I decided that we were wizards and basically started a cult. I mean, it sounds pretty stupid now, but at the time we apparently thought it was perfectly reasonable. We were “guardians”, protecting the world from demons and otherworldly entities with our Magickal Powers (tm).

This involved an 18 year old white girl who was somehow both a reincarnated voodoo priestess and Merlin’s daughter and could never keep her biography straight, a middle aged white guy who decided that he had built an extra dimensional fortress filled with fictional characters (including Batman!) to do his mystical bidding, a convoluted plot that involved the Statue of Liberty being a sentient conduit for magical energy (this was before Ghostbusters 2, for the record), a morbidly obese goth girl who channeled anime characters, and everything in between that you could imagine. I, for the record, was apparently an incarnation of the Fisher King. We had a whole host of “otherkin” members, and as far as I’m aware one of the three original members coined the term “otakukin”.

We started off as three people, but over a few years we managed to gather a surprising number of people who were cool with our delusional structure. We started an open pagan group in our home town, and I started another at my college, and we recruited the weirder people that we could find through by those means, and found more through science fiction or anime conventions.

As to how people handled coming to reality, I felt really embarrassed and became a militant atheist, a lot of people wandered back to more “mainstream” pagan practices, and a handful of the earliest adherents are still neck deep in it.

So yeah, don’t do drugs kids.

WillOnlyGoUp

Between the ages of 13-15 I believed I was part of a world I’d based on various kids shows. Mostly based on Pokemon but with some elements from Fushigi Yuugi and sailor moon. I absolutely truly believed it to be true, but no one ever knew at the time. It’s really hard to explain other than I guess I was miserable and wanted my life to be special, to mean something. I was the hero and I was a priestess who was suicune and could transform into Pokemon form, use magic etc. I used to dream about me in the “real” (Pokemon) world before going to sleep at night and long for the day I could return. There I had a husband and a daughter and guardians. I remember it all so vividly over 15 years later. What the house was like, the land around it, the plot lines.

I stopped believing it at 15 when I went to a Christian summer camp and I felt a sermon speak to me and it shattered it for me. It got replaced but religion and a boyfriend I married and who then cheated on me.

Honestly I wish I’d told an adult so they’d be like “you need psychiatric help” and get me help. Maybe that would have stopped me going down the route of self harm and bouts of depression. It was my first mechanism for coping with how low I was.

I look back at it a bit fondly now. Still freaks me out, but it shows me how creative my imagination was. I channel it into writing now if my imagination gets like that. I really hope one day I can finish my book series and have at least a few people read it. I’ve been working on it on and off for over 10 years.

DedicaterDeer13

My ex girlfriend spent several year trying to convince us that she was a quote "interdimensional space princess" that would travel back when she graduated high school. She came to this belief because she joined an Rp group on Kik that convinced her that they weren't roleplaying and they were going to rescue her from this "evil place". I don't know what ever happened with that, all I know is that my first day of college I saw her getting out of her truck looking angry. I hope she just grew out of it and nothing bad happened to her.

stopcounting

My high school best friend believed they had been the subject of an alien experiment that accidentally teleported them (an alien being) into a human's body. When they told me about it I thought they were joking, or using a weird extended metaphor. Nope. They meant it literally.

This was in the 90s and we were kind of sheltered, so there wasn't much info on gender identity available to us at the time. In college, he realized he was trans, and all of those sci-fi ideas about being trapped in the wrong body made total sense.

He's currently living a very happy and fulfilling life.

Sometimes there's a reason that people's brains make up that kind of stuff. It was interesting to understand, in retrospect.

KnightFenrirWulfhart

I was going to make a throwaway account for this, but then I figured why the hell not just say what I have to say. *Shrugs*

I was kinda that kid in middle/high school. I was really into fantasy but didn't actually believe I was something not-human, but I sure felt like it all the time.

Only recently have I actually let myself use the term Otherkin, even though it has a lot of negative connotations with it. I had been feeling this way for years, just didn't have a word for it.

In Otherkin term my "kintype" is a primordial deity/demon/wolf polymorphic thing.

But before you say anything I'm a pretty rational person. I consider myself a healthy skeptic in that I don't discredit the possibility that things might not be what we think, but I am fully aware that the chance of that being true is so small makes it highly improbable. I mean my family both birth and by marriage have all had weird thing happen to them, and I grew up in the country, and people from the country will tell you, weird shit happens fairly often that doesn't always have a simple explanation. But most of it is easily explained away. Like 99% of ghost sighting and aliens and other things are probably hoaxes, drugs, mental illness, misplaced expectation, or just confusion, but I do reserve the right to believe that maybe, just maybe some of them might be more than they seem.

That out of the way... I am fully aware that my "kintype" is simply a coping mechanism for the trauma that the women in my life caused me, specifically my mother.

My whole life I hadn't been allowed to be me. I was always emotionally abused and manipulated by her into being the man and person she wanted in her life. Which I'll save you all time and my sob-story by say really fucking fucked me up as a young adult. I'm only now recovering from the damage she, and a lot of other women in my life, have inflicted on me thanks to the emotional support and encouragement from my husband.

But I now know that the inhuman god/monster thing that I identify with is my subconscious way of taking problems in my life, and personal realizations, and making them like 138x larger than life then projecting them upon that me. I then look at that and how I feel because of it, and interpret the information that way. Like I have repressed anger problems, suicidal depressive tendancies, penchant for self-harm (Which may or may not actually just be a weird form of my masochism) because I was never allowed to express negative emotions because I wasn't "allowed" to, or I had to be the adult, or I wasn't supposed to be bothering other people with my problems. I was always expected to be the adult, and be calm, and Frozen said it well "Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show." so this monster I view as myself is violent, aggressive, horrifying, and does whatever it wants whenever it wants. That's an example that shows it well. It also changes forms depending on the mindsets I'm in. That was because I was never allowed to be myself, even when free of my mother, because the girls I was friends with (Because my mother shoved the belief that all men are evil, and so was I for being one even though she would always be like "Not you, Fenrir. You're different." Which as a young child that loved his mother, and wanted to make her happy and make up for the crappy men in her life, I was always constantly demolishing my self so I could make her happy even if I was dying inside my own mind. As long as she was happy, then I had no reason to be sad, because I was being a good boy.) So the girls I hung around were very much the same as my mother, they used me for all I was worth, then manipulated me to create a sense of belonging and acceptance so I would continue to do what they wanted, and be who they wanted me to be.

That monster is me. I know it is, those are all things I hide deep inside of me that I will never be free of, and if I don't accept them for what they are, and try to turn them to positive means, then all my suffering was really for nothing if it doesn't help me grow as a person. Also I mean who doesn't secretly wish they were some sort of primordial information god monster wolf. I mean my subconscious picked a fucking cool image to project on me, so I got that out of this, I guess.

The thing is, why I identify as Otherkin, is I can't stop this. I have seen psychiatrists, and the ones I saw said that it was actually a relatively good coping mechanism, since I knew why it's there and why it helps, and since I never let my negativity take over because I am a good person. Not having this coping mechanism causes me way more misery and stress, so she said it was good to have it to help. (Not that I really got a choice, that's how my brain's sense of self formed. Thanks for nothing mum.)

I also think it is both a coping mechanism and a form of altered brain chemistry that causes what I term "The fragile sense of self." in that most Otherkin need constant validation, and echo chamber reassurance about themselves or they basically crumble in the face of their delusions.

I am a human. There is literally no way to deny that, until I unlock some sort of shapeshifting power still waiting on that superpower, don't disappoint me now reality

But the other Otherkin I talked with have not liked my "radical" and "hateful" speech by pointing out the hypocrisy of hating on "the humans" because they are human and not recognizing that and accepting that is just delusional denial.

And that we aren't really these things. I can still have some faith-like beliefs in that, that I believe that that self is me, truly, but I can also recognize that I am the me truly. The physical me is the me of this reality, no getting around that, and the mental/noetic me is the me of my soul.

I can hold a spiritual belief while recognizing that that's just a way of holding my mind together in spite of a divergent sense of self, which makes sense when you put it that way, but no. You are not really inhuman, you are a human who is just different, and there is nothing wrong with that, unless you are acting like that makes you special and better than others, which unfortunately is the attitude that most other Otherkin have, which makes me kinda despised and talked about behind my back, but whatever *Shrugs*

Honestly I'm thinking about making a youtube channel to show people that not all Otherkin are cringey, and fucking insane, people, also to discuss things that Otherkin say and refute them from the perspective of a relatively sane Otherkin. Call them out for hypocrisy, and lies, and all their negative traits, and show other people that we are not all like this, that some of us gods I really hope it's not just me please are alright people who just have some weird mental traits that you don't. Also to tell them that psychology is real, and is very important and they should TRY IT.

Also to tell kids and teens that they are too young, don't define yourself like this so young, it's going to give you damage. You can be friends with people who are different without being different like them, it's better for everyone that way. I wouldn't wish the confusion and disconnect between self image and form that the Otherkin Phenomena causes. It can suck when you are in a really bad place.

Also, just because you don't like what people here are posting as an Otherkin, doesn't mean they don't know what they're talking about, or that it's incoherent or that they're wrong. And acting like that in order to protect your ego and your echo chamber delusions is, honestly, childish, and immature.

You can be better than that, I believe in you.

TheWolfOfWalmart

I used to be in a youth organization which offered a variety of projects for kids to choose from to learn about/compete in. There was one girl who joined specifically for the archery project who wore fake elf ears every day, dressed in flowing dresses, and literally spoke Tolkien elvish. She built her own bow for competitions out of wood and competed against kids using compound bows with sites and everything, so she was never really a serious contender but everybody knew her because she was the elf girl. She ended up getting pretty involved in the organization as a whole and branched into the student government side of it. There she went to Washington DC along with the rest of the group, but when she was told that elf ears and flowy robes didn't meet the business casual dress code she had her dad buy her a plane ticket home.

I never disliked her, but I did always judge her parents. They were always very supportive of her, which I guess is good to an extent, but they would get angry at parents/kids who would say anything about her not being an elf. I'm not sure where she is now, but id like to believe that she grew out of it and cringes at her highschool pictures just like the rest of us do.

caitelsa

When I was a kid, I thought I was an alien, that had been brought here with a mission. I would look up at the stars and wish I could fly off into them. I was obsessed with space and waiting to getaway. I would sit on my deck on my porch swing and cry and wish I was "home". Then I looked it up as a young teenager and found people who called themselves "Star Seeds" that were people from space with missions. I thought I had found all of my answers. I got older though and realized that childhood trauma is a bitch and that's all it was. I'm still very much in love with space. But I'm aware I'm a human.

ProbablyNotBobSaget

When I was in elementary school, I had this book called Wizardology that I absolutely adored. I was SUPER into it, and had a pretty vivid imagination. I made my own robe and even made a wand that I put gems in, and left them on my porch to bask in the moonlight so my spells would work. I did cute little rain rituals when it was really hot in the summer, and had an entire spellbook I made. My mother was incredibly supportive, but eventually I lost interest. I'm glad I did honestly, I got picked on enough around that age and am glad it wasn't as bad when I got to highschool. I hope my child has an imagination like I did, I'd love to live vicariously through them..

(deleted)

I knew a guy in middle school who also liked worldbuilding and we unexpectedly became good friends. He started writing short stories about his world, which morphed into a full fledged novel with fleshed out characters. About a year later, he started saying he could “enter” the world through portals with the right incantation. I thought he was just getting really into his story, or it was an aspect to his world and played along with it. Pretty soon every interaction I had with him was like playing D&D. He claimed to be a super powerful warlock-like being in his own universe that was destined to save his powered-enabled people from some anti-magic genocide. He frequently turned up to school with “battle scars” from the “war” going on.

At this point I realized this wasn’t a wild LARP to him, and something he wholeheartedly believed in. I confronted him about it and suggested he get help because he was harming himself, and he absolutely lost it. The next couple months he blackmailed me, slandered me at school to anyone that would listen, took aol chats from the last year where I’d shit-talked friends parents and questioned my religion and forwarded them to both my parents (v devout people) and the other parents in question, and I ultimately lost some very close friends and moved school districts because of it.

I think he eventually got diagnosed bipolar and hospitalized later in the year. I didn’t keep tabs on him or have much contact with our mutual friends, and he blocked me on just about every social media platform. Hope he’s doing better now.

TLDR: Watched the whole decent into madness, kid thought he was a warlock and leader of a pro-magic liberation front and self harmed to prove the magic world was real. Tried very hard to ruin my life when confronted. No idea where he’s at now.

EDIT: I almost never tell this story to people — a lot of bad memories associated with it — but I want to add that I’ve reflected a lot about what happened and if someone finds themself in the same situation, there are a few things I’d do differently.

1.) If you think you have a friend who is self harming, talk to your school’s counselor, and ask to be anonymous in the tip-off.

2.) Don’t be afraid to completely cut ties with someone who is having a negative impact on your life or frequently puts you in uncomfortable situations. Playing along with it just enables them.

3.) Don’t shit talk people, because it’s ultimately a poor reflection on you. But if you do, don’t do it in writing.

antarris

My college roommate and I decided that, one year, we were going to go for a quad in order to get a room in one of the better buildings on campus. We decided to room with a couple of people from the service fraternity we were in (well, my roommate decided; I would probably have ended up living in a cardboard box or something if it weren't for her).

I wasn't as close with them as she was. When I got there, I unpacked all my stuff. This included several books on Wicca/paganism (I was a practicing vaguely neopagan at the time).

I guess the new roommates saw the books or something, because they then asked if we could go for a walk and talk about magic. I was a little hesitant, for reasons I'll get into shortly, but I'm pretty bad at people and this seemed like an opportunity to interact, so I said, sure, why not.

During the walk, they told me that they were guardians of the planet, and that one of them was a vampire spiritually, but it was okay because they had permission to be a vampire, and that they'd fought all of these people, and that Aleister Crowley's spirit haunted the chapel of the dorm room that we were stationed in, and that they'd totally fought him there. I was not terribly convinced, but I was alone with them at night and, honestly, didn't really feel as though it was my place to ruin their real-life LARP, so I said that sounded interesting, and thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.

Then I went to my long-term roommate and told her, because I figured she should know. We went to Denny's. Afterwards, I think that the other two got the hint that I wasn't into it; they didn't bring it up.

Fast forward maybe six months, and this is continuing. One of their friends--who was in on the "secret"--is constantly staying in our room because she thinks her ex-boyfriend is spying on her through the eyes of her cat. When I drove up to see my SO, they had her stay in my bed without asking me. They also continued this theme of not asking me about shit they should really ask about by using my ritual tools (an athame [which is a knife] and chalice that I kept in a wooden box) without asking me for permission and without telling me afterwards. That's just rude.

They'd also started trying to sink their claws into a guy I was friends with from a tabletop game. He was...spiritually searching, I guess. They were trying to convince him that he was really a dragon, spiritually speaking.

At that point, I'd pretty much had enough, so I pulled my friend aside and said, hey, you know, I've been practicing for years, and they're mostly just playing pretend. Did you want to do some actual magic, tied to old holidays?

Thing is, I was (and probably still am) a boring-ass neopagan/Wiccan/whatever. Nature is cool. Let's celebrate the cycle of it. Magic isn't magic; it's just something you do as a ritual practice to make you think about the changes you want to make so that you can, like, go out and do the shit you need to do. You could replace it with whatever you want, including just writing shit down in a notebook or something, but this way has shiny rocks and pretty incense, so I happen to like it better. Maybe it leads to introspection, and maybe that helps, but it doesn't break the laws of physics. You can't magically attack someone. You're not going to cure cancer with crystals. No one is a fucking vampire.

Needless to say, the experience with me was probably intensely boring, but it was enough to get him away from them, which I figured was kind of pretty important, because he was actually searching for something, and I didn't think he'd be well-served by high fantasy. But one of the two roommates was really pissed at me and cut off contact after that semester.

I genuinely don't know what happened to her; this was nearly twenty years ago. I'm still friends with the other one on Facebook, and she's doing well. My long-term roommate unfriended me a few years ago, but that was probably just purging old contacts. I'm friends with the guy on Facebook, but I doubt he remembers who I am.

Also, unrelated: said guy, one day in the semester, met up with me at the local new age shop. We then ended up going to the army surplus, then to the mall, then rented a movie. He suggested getting a drink to share, chose champagne, and we watched the movie while drinking out of plastic tumblers. To this fucking day, I do not know if that was a date, hanging out with a friend, testing the waters, or being dtf, and it's not something I'm going to ask him about. It's one of the great mysteries of my life. He was pretty hot.

grapeflavoredorange

yes, holy shit. this story was my first ever reddit post, but i'll abbreviate it for y'all since that was like 3 years ago. this is a long one, so buckle up and grab a snack.

i was a junior in high school in 2013/2014, and rode the bus because i was too afraid to learn how to drive. i was also a pretty decent fan of homestuck (yeah ik) and often wore the shirts to school. one day i got on the bus after school and saw a freshman girl get on wearing the shirt of this character jade harley so i told her i liked her shirt bc i wanted some homestuck friends. she flipped. she sat next to me and declared me her new bff, and in our first ever convo told me how she was wiccan and buddhist or whatever and had two past lives in two of the different homestuck universes. in one, she was an alien princess who was married to this character karkat vantas, and in the other she was raised by the strider brothers. i was like "sounds fake but ok," but i was anxious and really wanted some new friends who shared interests with me, so i brushed it off as her just being immature and imaginative. wrong. we were good friends for about a year, and over the course of that year, she did some real whack shit. she'd said that we had known each other in her homestuck past lives and were destined to be bffs, she was convinced that "her karkat" was here on earth and she had to find them, she shipped the hell out of me and this character eridan ampora and told me i needed to "find my eridan," only ever referred to me as "vriska" bc she was my favorite character so i had to be her, but reincarnated, channeled characters, convinced other people they were related to or dating certain characters, and tried to start a youtube channel with me to tell people that homestuck was going to happen irl, that the world was going to end, and that we had to band together and save it. i shut that one down, fast. she'd even emailed the author of homestuck, andrew hussie, asking him if he'd remembered her from her past life, and then accused him of plagiarizing her life story. she thought this comic was her literal biography!!!!!

this shit, along with a bunch of other questionable behavior from her, caused me to end our friendship during my senior year. after that, she accused me of being abusive towards her, and started doing a lot of stuff i'm too afraid to disclose here, lol. basically she said and did a lot of stuff that scared the ever-loving fuck out of me (including wearing outfits similar to mine the day after i'd worn them) and made me afraid to be at school with her, as we shared an art class. i got the school and our job (bc we also worked together) involved and held fort until i graduated. she ended up leaving our job and got hired at a department store across the street, from which she was later fired for punching shit in front of customers.

after i started college in 2015, i was still afraid of her. i didn't like being alone, and i was afraid to walk by myself at night. she knew where i went to college, so i was terrified of her showing up on campus either with her bf (who also believed he was a werewolf btw) or in a campus tour. so through my college, i got a no-contact order put in place against her, and she was served them in the middle of the school day ig? then her parents threatened to sue me for slander bc of one line in the whole order!: saying i had proof of her actions. which i did, as she gave me gifts that consisted of fanart, fanfics, as well as emails and notes. a few months after, one of my other homestuck friends told me that she, her boyfriend, and their group of friends had been bullying her at school because she had been friends with me.

4 years after the fact, i sincerely feel bad for this girl. am i still angry at what she did to me? yes, but now i understand why. she'd always joke about thinking she had schizophrenia, and i really do think she did. after her parents threatened to sue, that kind of said to me that they knew there was something up with their kid but didn't want to do anything about it. i was only ever at her house once, and the whole place just had a weird vibe and the family dynamic seemed...off. they were always more strict with her than with her siblings, so that says something to me. i've tried looking her up on social media and can't seem to find her, but i've found her siblings' profiles and they live in different states now. i hope she's gotten the help she needs and is doing better.

tl;dr: an old friend of mine thought homestuck was her biography and tried to convince me and other people that it was real. friendship ends in no-contact order and now i feel bad bc she could've had undiagnosed schizophrenia.

Alyxandriaboudoir

Late arrival! My step sister convinced herself she was a "fox demon" trapped inside of a human when she was 17.

It started as casual remarks and then blossomed into her proclaiming she was supposed to find all the lost demon souls trapped in humans after some curse she was responsible for.

According to her, if you stared into someones eyes you could see if there was a demon trapped inside. She began making up these love triangles between her fox demon persona and the other animal-demon spirits she had found trapped coincidentally in all her friends' eyes. She dressed and acted like a fox to "honor" the spirit inside of her.

Summer vacay comes around and she comes to stay with us at her dad's house, after hitting her 5mo pregnant mom and getting kicked out of her house. (Yiiikes)

My step sister wasn't the prettiest girl growing up. She was a C student, overweight, had very poor hygeine, but was pretty sheltered and emotionally immature.

Eventually she told me that I was some phoenix demon princess and she had to awaken the spirit in me. She told me about her whole demon realm in detail. She talked nonstop about demons for days to convince me to let her "wake up the demon". It got really old fast so I told my mom that she wasnt showering and it was making my room smell bad so she'd have to sleep somewhere else. It was true anyways. She smelled fucking gross.

Our parents confronted her about hygiene, asked if she had clothes that needed to be washed. She lashed tf out. Imagine - if you will - a 17 year old fat girl, who still smells like the period she got off last week, acting out the cringiest anime transformation scene with pure self-conviction and then naruto-running away and hysterically locking herself in my room..

Naturally, I was asked wtf that was about. So I told them about her demon thing and it became some HUGE deal to her family. She was taken to therapy and was grounded for 2 months, neither of which helped. She ended up moving out right when she turned 18 and moved to Colorado with a couple she met on vampirefreaks. She did lose weight and mellowed out a bit, but still dresses in fox ears and collars.

dis_ABLED

I was that kid, and it was because of something I can actually do.

I was raised by an alcoholic mother who called herself a witch. She raised me to believe in that crap too. When I was around 6 or 7, I discovered I could make myself feel this almost electric sensation all over, I immediately assumed magic. My mother backed up my assumptions of course, and told me I was a warlock. Considering my mother usually treated me like shit, I was elated by this new title and praise.

I tried for years to produce magic from this sensation. At first, I was happy to share the news of my ability, but I became shy about it in short order due to ridicule and inability to produce proof. It drove me fucking crazy because I could feel it inside! I kept trying to master the sensation to prove everyone wrong.

By middle school, I was learning far more about actual reality than my mother cared for. I would get defiant and yell at her that she was wrong, or a liar. She was losing the ability to abuse me the way she always had, and I knew it, so I pushed. Never about my ability though. That was still a mystery. I switched from telling people about it, to asking if they could make themselves feel it. I came up with all kinds of ways to describe it, just trying to find anyone else that might know what it was. I was quickly branded the weird kid.

I still practiced using the sensation though. Never could produce magic, but I could now make it so strong within me that my muscles would start to spasm if I held it too long. I tried to show this as proof to someone I trusted. They told me I just sat still for a bit and started twitching. Fantastic.

I basically stopped talking about it all together in my early adulthood. I became a professional driver, and the sensation was useful to perk me up a little on long night runs. By that point, I had become an atheist, and I assumed my little ability had something to do with my adrenal gland.

Que a couple years ago. I'm in my late 30s. I have a kid, I'm recently disabled from an accident, I have so many other things going on that I never think about that sensation anymore. I'm browsing Reddit and an r/askreddit post about stupid human tricks attracts my attention. I figure I'll read some funny posts and get a quick laugh. Instead, a few minutes into the thread, I see a description of my little ability to a tee. I'm not alone, finally!

Turns out, several other people have the same ability. They describe it in ways I never thought to. It is kind of like electricity, but it's way more like that sensation you get when you're about to crest the first drop on a roller coaster, or the feeling right before an orgasm happens, or the feeling you get on a slingshot ride when you're momentarily weightless. That thread was exciting for me in many ways, but no one else knew exactly what was happening either. I swore I would find out!

I still haven't, but it's not for lack of trying. I found the courage to ask my orthopedic Dr, my general physician, and my psychiatrist about it. I found actual proof I can show people. My pulse shoots from the 70s to around 160-180 when I do it, and drops to the 60s briefly when I stop. I don't get flushed though, so it's not likely adrenal. Current running theory among the professionals I talked to, is that I somehow figured out how to stimulate my parasympathetic nervous system at will. Next step is neuro imaging if I ever get a chance.

Back in the day, I was pretty cringe with my hopes of magical ability, but it was built around a nugget of actual reality. The sensation isn't exactly amazing, but it's neat, and it's now medically documented. Maybe one day I'll manage to get the full answer to what it is I'm doing, until then, it's just my addition to the long list of stupid human tricks.

(deleted)

Girl back in school thought she was an elf. She wore pointy elf-shoes and claimed a pair of her shoes in her room went mysteriously missing, and elf shoes were left in their place.

LurkNoMore201

I went to school with a girl who believed she was a unicorn trapped in a human body. She regularly made horse noises and walked strangely because "she was used to cantering on four legs, not two" so she did this little skip/gallop thing when she walked. Her name was Alecia, but she wouldn't respond to anything but her unicorn name, Mercurial.

In high school, she had a mole biopsied because they thought she might have skin cancer. Turns out she didn't, it was fine, but she kept telling everybody that if it came back positive, she was going to have to shave off her mane (hair) and she would be less magical without her mane. She didn't seem to understand that you don't have to shave your head if you have cancer, hair loss is a side effect of the chemo/radiation...

She got married two months after graduation and moved half way across the country and had a couple babies. I still occasionally see her on Facebook and she seems relatively happy, although still human. She does not refer to her babies as foals.

Quest_of_ions

Not exactly the question, but when I was a child, my friends and I really honestly thought we were meant to be Pokémon/dragons or something. Like, when we grew up, we would find some portal to another world where we’d turn into dragons. We would draw weird ritualistic patterns involving poke balls on the field and try to open up a portal.

We were very strange as seven year olds.

Spaceyoda441

Oh my god. So I have this cousin (18). Her name is Aubrey and she is convinced that she is a fairy. She claims she can talk to trees, move fire with her mind, and that insects are her best friends because she's "a magical woodland fairy." She's a sweet girl and over all very nice, but for no reason, when no one has anything else to talk about, she'll go into a spiel about how awesome being a fairy is. So this one day, I asked her if fairies could fly. She said of course, all fairies can! And I made the mistake of asking her to fly for me to prove she was a fairy. She got so mad at me and said that only fairies could see other fairies fly. So then I asked if she could light a candle for me using her mind, to which she agreed to do. So she sat there for a good 5 minutes trying to light my candle with her mind and then she freaked out and said that she couldnt because she was nervous about me watching her. She started getting more flustered and eventually just went silent. Now she doesnt talk about being a fairy but she still posts about them every day on facebook with a cumbersome "maybe one day" tone.

MissDriftless

OMG yes. My brother. He believed (believes?) he is a dragon. And he's also a furry. And he also believes he can see people's auras. He was/is such a socially awkward person, and I think in some weird way this is how he f found community. Apparently there is a whole bunch of people who think they are dragons! Who knew. Now that he's in his 30s, he's grown out of it - or at least he doesn't talk about it or insist that people call him by his "dragon name" anymore.

I'm under the impression that it was something that slowly fell away from his belief system, bit by bit, but one interaction sticks out in my memory. While we were on a long road trip he was bitching about how our mother kept asking him all sorts of "ridiculous" questions like if he believes he can see the future, if he believes he can fly, if he believes he can see ghosts, etc. And I was like, "Yeah dude. She's trying to figure out exactly how delusional you are. Don't complain that her asking you if you can see the future is ridiculous while simultaneously claiming you are a dragon that sees auras. Keep this shit up and you'll be forcefully admitted to the psych ward." After that he stopped talking about being a dragon so much.

Interestingly enough, on paper he's the most successful person in our family. Despite his social ineptitude, he's brilliant with computers. He had more money in his retirement account by age 30 than my mother has now, and she's like 2 years from retirement (and makes 6 figures). He lives with his girlfriend (who he met online, of course) and they seem really happy together. But he still has dragon art all over his house, attends furry events, wears a floor-length hooded cloak everywhere and spins around septar/walking stick. Still a weird dude, now just a weird dude with a big paycheck.

_sneepsnorp_

I once had two friends in the sixth grade who I’ll call Callie and Rheah. Once Rheah told me and Callie that when she was at the beach once she picked up a seashell and that her head hurt and her eyes hurt. We were obviously amazed and asked her many questions about it, but the answers were always vague.

Through several stories later, she found at her eyes glowed red. Throughout our friendship, the stories transitioned into her being able to control when her eyes glow and that she is a fairy or fae from Ireland (her family had roots in Ireland apparently). She told us she couldn’t tell her parents though because of reasons I don’t remember. She proceeded to tell me that she also lived to be like 200 years and that’s she could choose one human being to live long. I asked her to pick me and she said yes, but let’s be real now that I’m in highschool I lowkey don’t want to live long lmao.

Anyway, although she told us all this she would never actually proved it.

She once said she could go into others dreams. I asked her to go into mine last night. She was not in my dream. In the morning at school, I asked her why she didn’t come and she said it’s because she had a headache. Kind of an interesting excuse because last night I had a headache and told her about it...

When she told Callie and I she could now control when her eyes glow, she would never show us saying it would “scare us” or something.

Months later, Rhea and Callie got in a fight and I was torn between them. In the end, we all are now not friends and we don’t even talk anymore. All I can say now is that it was a weird experience and though it most likely wasn’t true, I kind of want to know if she still thinks she’s a fairy and if she remembers this.

Moribund42

I am one of these people. I have dysmorphia and feel so strongly that I'm a winged elf/demonic general and that I'm in the wrong place and wrong time. I feel like I should be dead on the battlefield. I've been diagnosed with depression and disassociative identity disorder. I take a handful of medication and have had ECT. My inability to handle reality gets so great sometimes I pull on my hair and scream and cry and harm myself. I've attempted suicide several times and often feel like I can't be saved. It's absolutely maddening, especially when it's so hard to talk about to anyone without being viewed as completely insane or stupid, but it's very real to me. I try so hard to accept reality but just can't do it. I hate the body I'm in, I hate what I see in the mirror. I don't know what will happen to me, I don't know if madness will take me or if I can accept what I really am - no amount of evidence changes this mind that feels so truly to be not human. I have phantom limb syndrome of wings which I can't take away! Laughing at people like us is torturous when we're tortured already... I'm thankful for this question, maybe some understanding can come of it to people who think we make this up for fun or whatever they may believe.

phoenix-corn

A few Otherkin from college came out as trans. Their friends and partners who were swept up in being special with them more or less stopped slowly and didn't talk about it anymore.

The people who came out as trans obviously didn't think they had special powers. What they knew was that they didn't feel like they fit right in their bodies, but they found Otherkin as a reason instead of being trans. I didn't know them well enough to say how they would have dealt with being confronted with that reality, but it seems like they eventually did.

Somebody on here wrote a dissertation about that phenomenon actually, I'll be interested to see if they post.

Someone suggested the writer of the dissertation could have been journalist Jesse Singal.  A short google did not turn up anything that was obviously this dissertation, though he did write an article about how many transgender kids will ultimately become comfortable with the bodies they’re in without transitioning.

TivoDelNato

Let me tell you about the time I accidentally co-founded a cult.

So I grew up Wiccan, right. All this means is that the adults had an excuse to get drunk around a bonfire every weekend, and we kids felt we had one up over the goth kids in our school. Me though, I didn’t tell many people about this because I didn’t want people to think of me as that guy, the one who thinks they’re a wizard and can do shit with their mind, and all the tropes mentioned in the rest of these comments. For me it was just a religion.

Anyway. I had this friend in high school. We called him Trenchcoat. Because he always wore a big black Dylan Klebold style trenchcoat, even in the oven-like heat of the Texas summers. Really good at drawing. We’d usually skip gym class to hang out and draw, talking about comics, or other general nerd shit. Somehow we got on the topic of religion. He said he was part of some very specific Russian Orthodox church where you weren’t allowed to sit and they made you sing in Russian or Latin the whole time, and the place was a total cult. “You think that’s weird,” I said, and proceeded to talk about my kooky religion like it was a shiny pokemon card I was showing off. He was amazed. He asked if he could come over for our next ritual. I didn’t see the harm in it so I said “sure fuck it why not,”

Well let me tell you, he went balls deep into it. He came over for a couple rituals, and then started diving into “private research” which mostly included a stack of books on the occult, mixed interchangeably with random fantasy books, whatever he could steal from our local college library. It largely dominated our conversations. At first, I was kind of amused, and then I was horrified at what I’d created, as he started to fail to tell the difference between fantasy and reality. It was fairly obvious that he was pulling a lot of his beliefs from fantasy and anime. “Opening his chakra gates” like in Naruto. His “angelic spirit guardian” was a direct copy/paste from some fantasy book I can’t recall from the top of my head. I still read books today and find myself saying “ah, so that’s where he got that”. I almost lost my shit when he told me he was the reincarnated spirit of every great wizard from Alleister Crowley to Merlin, to Ptolomy (pronounced PUH-tolomy, with a little bit of spit every single time). Also, he claimed to be a number of great warriors and martial artists from history like Musashi Miyamoto because of course he was. But he actually believed he himself was a legendary martial artist and got his ass publicly kicked on more than one occasion.

So I’d been quietly observing this spiral into madness. Half nervously entertained, and half concerned, wondering when exactly I should pull the plug on this science experiment. Then he started getting followers. My girlfriend at the time was first. He told her about some past life she had, and she fell for it hook, line, and sinker. It was half like a cold reading, where he susses out all the things you want to hear, and the other half was him spinning his own narrative about how she’d sworn an eternal master-servant oath to him when he was PUH-tolomy. Pretty soon he had a throng of loyal goth and weeb kids hanging on to his every word. He’d take them out to empty fields and meditate and psychically battle demons that were assailing him and his followers. “Woah did you see that grass move!?” said one amazed weeb kid. We were sitting quietly in a field, but he had such a hold on these nerds that you’d think they were watching the latest season of Dragon Ball Z. And of course after he was physically weak and would need a loyal volunteer to buy him lunch.

Pretty soon, he had a doomsday prophecy that God had ordained he alone to stop with the help of his most loyal followers, and he believed there were multiple assassination plots against him. He started getting violent towards strangers in public (I had perfected the art of yanking him back by the collar of his trenchcoat before he could bow up to strangers and get snapped like a toothpick. “You’re right. I don’t know my own strength. I might have killed them,”). It was all getting to be extreme and at this point I didn’t know where the brakes were on this crazy train.

We were already two or three years into our friendship at this point. He had been graduated for some time, and was now relying on adults from his Russian Orthodox church for rent-free places to stay (and most concerning to me, he was starting to convince them of certain parts of his narrative too). But it all kind of came grinding to a halt when his loyal throng of followers graduated and started going off to college. He started lamenting about betrayals. His doomsday plot ramped up to extreme levels of crazy in a mad dash to grab everyone’s attention. Even I was carefully trying to back off by now.

At this point he tried to kill himself with children’s tylenol. He was either clearly trying to desperately grasp for attention, or was sooo delusional that he thought it would work. “I had to take the whole bottle because I have a higher constitution than most mere mortals.” He was committed to a mental hospital for about a month or two. And it was the most blissful time of mine and the rest of my friends’ lives. We did normal 19-year-old shenanigans. We played video games till dawn. Drank way too much Mountain Dew. I could go to functions within my religion and not have to worry if that would be the day someone would finally snap and try to make me drink dog blood or something crazy.

And then he got out. We had kind of an intervention for him where we basically told him that enough was enough and if he tried to bring up any psuedo-magic bullshit again, we’d be out. He was initially combative. He told us about how he was being mistreated by everyone and how his mom had molested him as a kid and he just took all of his baggage and dumped it inside out so that we would look at it and feel sorry and let him go back to using us to make him feel better, but we weren’t having any of it. He eventually gave in after a kind of half (non)apology “sorry you feel used” kind of thing.

For the next few weeks, we’d shut him down or ignore him every time he‘d bring up chakra gates or spirits or PUH-tolomy, and then it seemed he was starting to get better. And then he tried doing himself in with the children’s tylenol again. I met him at the hospital and told him that he desperately needed psychological help, and that my job was to be his friend, not his psychiatrist nor the lieutenant in his witch army, and that I was no longer able to put up with his shit. He left me and my friends an identical melodramatic voicemail about how “[his] blood would be on [our] hands” and we couldn’t help but laugh imagining him practice that shit in the mirror for hours.

I’d see him at a funeral a couple of years later, but that’s the last time I directly communicated with him. I still keep tabs on him though. I’m terrified he’s going to end up as either the next mass shooter or the next Jim Jones. So I keep a google alert on his name and I periodically check his social media to see if he’s living on a compound in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of grown weebs and a stockpile of chemical weapons.

birdwiththeword32

I am friends with a guy on Facebook (met him at a random one time event that I don’t wanna specify in case he comes upon this) who believes he is of wolfkin. I can’t comment on him handling a confrontation, because I’m not nearly close enough to him to ever do that. But I will say, his belief runs very very very fucking deep. Almost all of his statuses are journal entries of his life that are told from a very melodramatic perspective of a wolf. He describes himself as majestic and animalistic, but also extremely subjected to betrayal and tragedy. He truly lives in his own kind of ancient Celtic narrative of wolf god lost in the world.

He still does his thing today. Almost disconcertingly- like the other day he posted a status about being subjected to so much pain and betrayal that the beast inside of him may be forced to come out one day. It was pretty ominous, and I showed a friend who’s kinda worried he might end up shooting up a place.

At the same time though, he’s just an intense dude. He’s really into fitness as a way to get rid of his extra energy, and he is incredibly moralistic. Passionately left wing. Informed. An excellent writer. A truly creative mind. And he has so much good to offer the world; I believe that truly. He just thinks he’s a wolf. I don’t know what to make of it— he has a lot of friends who give him support and love all the time so I think he’s okay.

I know his girlfriend left him out of nowhere. Just up and left one day. Moved out without a word. I obviously don’t know what their issues were, but I suspect it may have had something to do with his wolf beliefs. Maybe she tried to confront him and it didn’t work. I honestly don’t know. But yeah if I had to guess, confronting wouldn’t work. I think it would be like asking someone to stop believing in God once they already do.

aversiontherapy

Oh god, I have a lot to say here, and it’s all extremely embarrassing.

Many moons ago, in my teens in the 80’s, a few friends of mine and I decided that we were wizards and basically started a cult. I mean, it sounds pretty stupid now, but at the time we apparently thought it was perfectly reasonable. We were “guardians”, protecting the world from demons and otherworldly entities with our Magickal Powers (tm).

This involved an 18 year old white girl who was somehow both a reincarnated voodoo priestess and Merlin’s daughter and could never keep her biography straight, a middle aged white guy who decided that he had built an extra dimensional fortress filled with fictional characters (including Batman!) to do his mystical bidding, a convoluted plot that involved the Statue of Liberty being a sentient conduit for magical energy (this was before Ghostbusters 2, for the record), a morbidly obese goth girl who channeled anime characters, and everything in between that you could imagine. I, for the record, was apparently an incarnation of the Fisher King. We had a whole host of “otherkin” members, and as far as I’m aware one of the three original members coined the term “otakukin”.

We started off as three people, but over a few years we managed to gather a surprising number of people who were cool with our delusional structure. We started an open pagan group in our home town, and I started another at my college, and we recruited the weirder people that we could find through by those means, and found more through science fiction or anime conventions.

As to how people handled coming to reality, I felt really embarrassed and became a militant atheist, a lot of people wandered back to more “mainstream” pagan practices, and a handful of the earliest adherents are still neck deep in it.

So yeah, don’t do drugs kids.

WillOnlyGoUp

Between the ages of 13-15 I believed I was part of a world I’d based on various kids shows. Mostly based on Pokemon but with some elements from Fushigi Yuugi and sailor moon. I absolutely truly believed it to be true, but no one ever knew at the time. It’s really hard to explain other than I guess I was miserable and wanted my life to be special, to mean something. I was the hero and I was a priestess who was suicune and could transform into Pokemon form, use magic etc. I used to dream about me in the “real” (Pokemon) world before going to sleep at night and long for the day I could return. There I had a husband and a daughter and guardians. I remember it all so vividly over 15 years later. What the house was like, the land around it, the plot lines.

I stopped believing it at 15 when I went to a Christian summer camp and I felt a sermon speak to me and it shattered it for me. It got replaced but religion and a boyfriend I married and who then cheated on me.

Honestly I wish I’d told an adult so they’d be like “you need psychiatric help” and get me help. Maybe that would have stopped me going down the route of self harm and bouts of depression. It was my first mechanism for coping with how low I was.

I look back at it a bit fondly now. Still freaks me out, but it shows me how creative my imagination was. I channel it into writing now if my imagination gets like that. I really hope one day I can finish my book series and have at least a few people read it. I’ve been working on it on and off for over 10 years.

kayler276

I actually had this situation happen to me growing up. From ages about 9 - 17 I wholeheartedly believed I had the abilities of an OC of mine. I believed I was him. I actually wrote five or six novels about this specific story and character.

But I completely and whole-heartedly believed I was this character, and when I turned 18 my powers would finally come to light and I'd finally be able to shoot fire from my hands or whatever.

I eventually went to therapy once my parents found out I actually believed this to be true. I was diagnosed with depression and given meds. I was shunned by most everyone because they thought I was crazy. I turned 18 and when I realized I wasn't going to get any of these powers. I sort of snapped. I burned all my novels (they were handwritten) and started to get my life together.

I'm now 20, and I've begun to re-write these novels but with less of a self-insert. I hope I don't go down the reality bending path again. I was very distraught and was made fun of a lot. I'm glad I got help and I'm glad I figured out my life with all of that.

I don't really tell this to new people who meet me. Or anybody at all honestly. But, it was honestly quite the emotional rollar coaster. I no longer believe in this fantasy. But to this day I still wish with all of my heart that this fantasy world will become my heaven when I no longer reside upon this earth.

If you have any questions about how I believed in this, or what I said to people, or how I'd stay up for hours on end trying to get my 'relic' to activate. (cringe i'm sorry) Please go ahead and respond to this comment, I'll gladly answer any questions about how/why or what I was thinking.

Sophitoaster

I'm probs waaay too late for this one, but I was one of those people for a time.

It wasn't really in a bad way or anything, I just had a super active imaginations as a kid(still do), and as a result of me reading/watching lots of fantasy content, I made up my whole little alternate reality. I've also always been a pretty good storyteller, and once I started making more friends, it didn't take long for me to rope others into it.

So, there we were, coupla 12-15 year olds who believed we were the human reincarnations of mythical demi-gods and creatures.

It wasn't hurting anyone, and honestly I think it helped us through a lot of tough times in those years. My mom was actually fully aware of it, and she decided that we were just kids being imaginative and it wasn't having any negative impacts on us, so she let us carry on with it.

But, unfortunately(fortunately??), it all came apart when one friend's sibling found out and told their parents. Cue parents flipping at me and saying I'm a bad influence and there's all this shit wrong with me and I need to stay away from their family.

That all hurt me a lot 'cos they were basically my best friend, and then I couldn't even see them anymore, so I kinda forced myself to grow out of it, and as a result I lost a lot of my child-like creativity as a I grew into a young adult, and all the material I came up with got a lot darker.

KnightFenrirWulfhart

I was going to make a throwaway account for this, but then I figured why the hell not just say what I have to say. *Shrugs*

I was kinda that kid in middle/high school. I was really into fantasy but didn't actually believe I was something not-human, but I sure felt like it all the time.

Only recently have I actually let myself use the term Otherkin, even though it has a lot of negative connotations with it. I had been feeling this way for years, just didn't have a word for it.

In Otherkin term my "kintype" is a primordial deity/demon/wolf polymorphic thing.

But before you say anything I'm a pretty rational person. I consider myself a healthy skeptic in that I don't discredit the possibility that things might not be what we think, but I am fully aware that the chance of that being true is so small makes it highly improbable. I mean my family both birth and by marriage have all had weird thing happen to them, and I grew up in the country, and people from the country will tell you, weird shit happens fairly often that doesn't always have a simple explanation. But most of it is easily explained away. Like 99% of ghost sighting and aliens and other things are probably hoaxes, drugs, mental illness, misplaced expectation, or just confusion, but I do reserve the right to believe that maybe, just maybe some of them might be more than they seem.

That out of the way... I am fully aware that my "kintype" is simply a coping mechanism for the trauma that the women in my life caused me, specifically my mother.

My whole life I hadn't been allowed to be me. I was always emotionally abused and manipulated by her into being the man and person she wanted in her life. Which I'll save you all time and my sob-story by say really fucking fucked me up as a young adult. I'm only now recovering from the damage she, and a lot of other women in my life, have inflicted on me thanks to the emotional support and encouragement from my husband.

But I now know that the inhuman god/monster thing that I identify with is my subconscious way of taking problems in my life, and personal realizations, and making them like 138x larger than life then projecting them upon that me. I then look at that and how I feel because of it, and interpret the information that way. Like I have repressed anger problems, suicidal depressive tendancies, penchant for self-harm (Which may or may not actually just be a weird form of my masochism) because I was never allowed to express negative emotions because I wasn't "allowed" to, or I had to be the adult, or I wasn't supposed to be bothering other people with my problems. I was always expected to be the adult, and be calm, and Frozen said it well "Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show." so this monster I view as myself is violent, aggressive, horrifying, and does whatever it wants whenever it wants. That's an example that shows it well. It also changes forms depending on the mindsets I'm in. That was because I was never allowed to be myself, even when free of my mother, because the girls I was friends with (Because my mother shoved the belief that all men are evil, and so was I for being one even though she would always be like "Not you, Fenrir. You're different." Which as a young child that loved his mother, and wanted to make her happy and make up for the crappy men in her life, I was always constantly demolishing my self so I could make her happy even if I was dying inside my own mind. As long as she was happy, then I had no reason to be sad, because I was being a good boy.) So the girls I hung around were very much the same as my mother, they used me for all I was worth, then manipulated me to create a sense of belonging and acceptance so I would continue to do what they wanted, and be who they wanted me to be.

That monster is me. I know it is, those are all things I hide deep inside of me that I will never be free of, and if I don't accept them for what they are, and try to turn them to positive means, then all my suffering was really for nothing if it doesn't help me grow as a person. Also I mean who doesn't secretly wish they were some sort of primordial information god monster wolf. I mean my subconscious picked a fucking cool image to project on me, so I got that out of this, I guess.

The thing is, why I identify as Otherkin, is I can't stop this. I have seen psychiatrists, and the ones I saw said that it was actually a relatively good coping mechanism, since I knew why it's there and why it helps, and since I never let my negativity take over because I am a good person. Not having this coping mechanism causes me way more misery and stress, so she said it was good to have it to help. (Not that I really got a choice, that's how my brain's sense of self formed. Thanks for nothing mum.)

I also think it is both a coping mechanism and a form of altered brain chemistry that causes what I term "The fragile sense of self." in that most Otherkin need constant validation, and echo chamber reassurance about themselves or they basically crumble in the face of their delusions.

I am a human. There is literally no way to deny that, until I unlock some sort of shapeshifting power still waiting on that superpower, don't disappoint me now reality

But the other Otherkin I talked with have not liked my "radical" and "hateful" speech by pointing out the hypocrisy of hating on "the humans" because they are human and not recognizing that and accepting that is just delusional denial.

And that we aren't really these things. I can still have some faith-like beliefs in that, that I believe that that self is me, truly, but I can also recognize that I am the me truly. The physical me is the me of this reality, no getting around that, and the mental/noetic me is the me of my soul.

I can hold a spiritual belief while recognizing that that's just a way of holding my mind together in spite of a divergent sense of self, which makes sense when you put it that way, but no. You are not really inhuman, you are a human who is just different, and there is nothing wrong with that, unless you are acting like that makes you special and better than others, which unfortunately is the attitude that most other Otherkin have, which makes me kinda despised and talked about behind my back, but whatever *Shrugs*

Honestly I'm thinking about making a youtube channel to show people that not all Otherkin are cringey, and fucking insane, people, also to discuss things that Otherkin say and refute them from the perspective of a relatively sane Otherkin. Call them out for hypocrisy, and lies, and all their negative traits, and show other people that we are not all like this, that some of us gods I really hope it's not just me please are alright people who just have some weird mental traits that you don't. Also to tell them that psychology is real, and is very important and they should TRY IT.

Also to tell kids and teens that they are too young, don't define yourself like this so young, it's going to give you damage. You can be friends with people who are different without being different like them, it's better for everyone that way. I wouldn't wish the confusion and disconnect between self image and form that the Otherkin Phenomena causes. It can suck when you are in a really bad place.

Also, just because you don't like what people here are posting as an Otherkin, doesn't mean they don't know what they're talking about, or that it's incoherent or that they're wrong. And acting like that in order to protect your ego and your echo chamber delusions is, honestly, childish, and immature.

You can be better than that, I believe in you.

VelvetDreamers

When you're immersed in the historical reconstructionist community, you encounter the vestiges of delusional adults who're maladjusted and adamant they possess preternatural attributes be it phantom wings of their Dragon soul or the affliction of vampirism; their delusions are so entrenched you'll actually be reproached and possibly ostracized for confronting their 'idiosyncratic' personas.

I've met none so vociferous about his true form than the Satyr of Suffolk from England who attends reconstructionist events from the Vikings invasions to the Jacobite rebellions to Boudica's valiant retaliation against the Romans; this tenacious but extremely salacious goat was everywhere.

I will concede his costume was meticulously designed and he was diligent in maintaining his slender stature with intricately carved hooves but he believed, truly and deeply, that he was a Satyr. There was not a woman in proximity that he didn't make sexual propositions to as he tried to emulate the lascivious conduct of a frolicking goat.

People tolerated him because they were apprehensive someone would dispute their delusions of being a Druid or Fae. There were stringent rules about tolerance and absolute inclusion.

The last time I saw him about two years ago, he was embroiled in an argument over his horns being "spiritual antennae" so he can commune with Dionysus. His disparager asserted Dionysus wouldn't talk to a "psycho in hairy trousers."

harumin24

I can actually give first hand experience on this. I was the kid who believed (in my case) that I was a dragon who could transform to and from a dragon at will.

I had an extremely active imagination which was hyper realistic to me. If I looked up at the sky, I could envision myself soaring, with my arms like bat wings, and how the wind would feel on my face and belly, on the underside of my wings and not my back. I could vividly imagine looking down from far above, swooping and diving, or feeling a deep roar deep in my chest. All this while standing and waiting for the bus and no actual exterior inputs.

Combine that with worsening depression, anxiety, and general school stress, I had good reason to escape to those fantasies on a regular basis. I would imagine breathing fire on a teacher who humiliates me, or flying away to live in a mountain, or being respected as a giant powerful ancient beast.

I don't know when I first started believing it, but I do remember my sister calling me out on it once. I was partly angry that she didn't believe me, and partly angry at the idea that all of my dreams of escaping would never come true. Another person asked me to transform right then and there, and I made an excuse about not doing it in school. Later that day, I closed my eyes and tried to transform my right arm, but even though I could feel the scales growing out and other changes, they were gone when I opened my eyes. I tried to comfort myself with the idea that it was just too hard to do right then. It genuinely felt, to me, like when you try to run or throw a punch in a dream. You know you should be able to, but you just can't.

I ended up being hospitalized for depression, and the med I got made me vacant and unemotional. That at the time helped to reduce my need for escapism, but also made it harder for me to imagine things. I've since gone off of it, but never went back to imagining so vividly.

ohsurenerd

I, uh, tried and failed to be this person as a middle schooler, but I never got to the stage where I told anyone else. I really wanted to think I was special and destined for something really meaningful (because I was really depressed and wanted to feel like life might be meaningful), but I was never able to convince myself of it. The closest I ever got was buying cool necklaces in the hope that one of them would give me magic powers and a Mission, and talking to friends about how I felt like I was supposed to wake up somewhere completely different with a completely different life any day now (but expressed as like... a wistful dream or fantasy, not something I really believed in). None of that ever happened, obviously.

I'm doing better now. :)

Dalen-Dalen

When I was a lot younger me and my best friend were convinced we had super powers.

A series of coincidences involving saying a spell for snow and getting snow in the morning, playing the flute and some rather aggressive wind wildly appearing and crying coinciding with rain left me convinced for longer than I care to admit I could control the weather.

Thank goodness I do not have these powers because the weather a younger me wanted would not be good for the environment. I was convinced I needed the right training and it would be okay I could hone my powers and be in full control of the weather. I spent a lot of my spare time as a teen (when I wasn't on my pc) practicing and trying to find some sort of inner focus because that worked for Matilda why wouldn't it work for me. I tried everything resulting in me spending a lot of time writing down "spells" in a language I made up and staring intently at trees and getting very excited when I saw some sort of response.

Truth was I had depression induced hallucinations and severe anxiety and was using this as a coping mechanism. Reality was much harder to deal with at first when it all came crashing down. With CBT, therapy and medication alongside my own place and a very supportive partner (if you're seeing this snuds thank you for everything you have done and will continue to do to support me) I am doing somewhat better.

I have a partner we've just moved into a new house together I have my dream job. I still suffer with depression and anxiety but I have much healthier methods of dealing with this now and it doesn't feel so overwhelming anymore.

Nyvrek

When I was a kid I used to believe I was connected to the forces of nature. Like, I was spied by fairies in my yard. That animals could understand me ( this one took origins into the myth of st Francis of Assisi and because my name is inspired by this ). I believed that more I stayed in the mountains more my sense are sharp.

Once I held for month a rock I found by a river, I was convinced that it was a dragon egg and if I still keep it warm in my pocket it would hatch within months and be my best friend. I still have it and from time to time I like to keep it in my pocket for luck.

Now I'm 24, perfectly fine,still a bit socially awkward ( fatass metalhead lol )my obsession with myth and legend turned into a passion about storytelling making me an actor to this day.

lavandeer

It was me. When I was in 6th grade. I used to believe with a friend that we both were Creepypasta hunters, that they were following us all the time. He used to believe he could see their energies, and we both had 4 different personalities. I used to believe I was a demon too. When people came to me to tell me to stop, and be mature I always panicked and insist, I even screamed and got into debates. It was really cringy.

PumpkinSpiceTrukNuts

Was 100% one of those people well into my teenage years. Still am to some extent. I never truly believed it but wanted so badly for it to be true, because I could see no other reason I was always bullied - even by family and teachers - unless I was actually something other than human. The worse I got the worse it got and it just spiraled on that way for years.

I'm moderately successful, had a nice professional career (though I quit to pursue a degree in programming... Hoping to do some kind of game dev stuff someday), married, have a kid. The side-gigs I do all have to do with the fantasy stuff I was into as a kid and I'm decently successful with that as well. I still like to prance through the woods and play dress up but keep to 'proper' outlets for that (conventions, video games, etc... VR is a godsend let me tell you). I've learned not to be ashamed or sorry for being 'me' and I think that's what made me stop being so... Cringe? About it, funny enough.

Also funny enough, my sister - who was the opposite of me: pretty, popular, completely 'normal' - was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia. I do wonder if we're not both a little out there and I just learned to cope with it by letting it all hang out for so long…

[kewltie]

im soooooooooo glad that two scenes when up next to each other in time bc I JUST LOVE PARALLELS HELLO!!!!

marriage ceremony, highlight: 

cd!donghae is always extra (look that boy may not want attention but man he does everything that cause the opposite to happen) but essein??? EQUALLY EXTRA. i mean who even thought consort candidates should even fight each other to get the hand of their ruler?? tho that tradition has died out (bc peace & consort no longer holds it original power) but past!!essein were so badass tbh. AND WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BUILD A FUCKING TEMPLE ON AN ACTIVE VOLCANO AND MAKE IT TRADITION FOR THE ROYAL FAMILY TO GET THERE WTF. 

which lead to our next point: the essein are super super (!!!!!) devout ppl so much so that they build a temple on an active volcano believing wholehearted that their god will protect him... and well it rumbles and scared donghae to shit but it hasn’t kill anyone yet in thousand of years so i guess proven right??? :D

donghae 10000% does not give a shit about essein’s gods but he understand their important to these ppl so although he does walk the walk he really reaaaaally isnt that sincere. that will change with time!!

gods ARE HUGE thing in this world but that was in the past now the world can of split b/t those that still believe and revere them to those that think they are decoration bc while esse entire infrastructure rely on magic and will of the gods so ofc they still hold the gods in high regard but in other part of the world where technology has triumph over magic (which is selective, rare, and hard to train/use) everybody catch on that advancement so why pray to the gods for rain when you can build an aquaduct and bring it to your drought written lands?? so more advance the nation (which is mainly the bigger/powerful/rich ones) the less the gods have any influence. but since essein are ‘isolationist’ they disregard any advancement and still practice the old ways, so that’s why the gods are sooo super important to them and IT HASN’T FAIL THEM SO WHY FIX IT???? 

donghae’s nation, nave, actually straddle that magic/tech divide so while they have advance tech from the bigger countries trickling in but bc donghae’s father is devout, religion and the worship of ion is important to donghae and his family.... but as you can see that no longer matter to donghae bc he had long turned away from them bc they are useless in his eyes ///o\\\\. 

i thought about how a big country like essein manage to keep communication with its vast territories since they don’t have the advancement from the outside world (which use something similar to the telegram/phone). AND I REALIZE oooh essein are heavy reliance on their beasts/monsters and tamed to do manual labor and assist in ordinary living so communciation and transimission??? aiayas--giant eyeball bats with hive mind and ability to transmit info/image easily so yes i hope to explore more creatures in the world of esse :)))) IT’S SO MUCH FUN. 

the mountain that donghae climbed is shallowly inspired by china’s mount tai which has 7k-ish stone step to climb to the top!!!! IT’S REALLY BEAUTIFUL AND A MARVEL 

no gods, highlight: 

it’s not explicitly stated in the text (i think, i haven’t decide yet) but during his years of captivity donghae suffered from sever depression and suicide ideation :((((.  i soooo hope it’s clear that it's heavily hinted throughout the series 

when he was captive of his brother he wasn’t  physically torture or punished but he still suffer from severe abuse just not a physical one but mainly emotional/mental abuse (which is not a form that we see a lot in writing sadly) and it’s just as bad if his bro beat him. the thing is donghae’s father lost the war against his own son and therefore many ppl in his family are executed and DONGHAE HAD TO WATCHED IT HAPPENED and the sole reason he’s alive is bc his bro god a an unreasonable grudge on donghae and kept him alive just to fuck with him. he’ll come to donghae’s room and tell him father’s death?? UR FAULT. older brother dying?? ALSO YOUR FAULT. everybody that die??? YOUR FAULT. the reason our country was in a civil war?? IT’S BC YOU EXIST IF YOU DIDN’T EXIST I WOULD NEVER CHALLENGE FATHER AND NOBODY HAD TO SUFFER. imagine day in and ay out someone tell you this your fucking self worth and sense start to warped and you start to believe it IS YOUR FAULT even though it ISN’T AT ALL. and not only he kept you captive and feed you all these lies he isolated you from everyone and the few you get in contact with (i.e. the servants) the moment you make talk/friends with them they get kill just TO FUCK WITH YOU BC YOU CAN’T HAVE FRIENDS AND NOT EVEN A DROP OF JOY FROM CONVERSING WITH ANOTHER HUMAN. and if you try to escape??? BIG MISTAKE you do anything wrong in his eyes he pick the ppl you knows/care about (your wetnurse, ur old servants, etc) that are kept in his prison and take them out and make an example of them INSTEAD OF YOU bc your actions LEAD TO THEIR DEATH... so yea he doesn’t outright physically hurt donghae but hurt his heart and self worth instead and it’s sooo incredibly that donghae  even thought he’s out of nave now... he still fucked up in many ways :((((((((((((((( and it’s long road to recovery before he can see that he’s amazing and a survivor!!!!!  

donghae’s awkwardness/social inept with ppl through much of the first three arcs (??) is attributed to after years of isolation from other ppl so while he was bright and social in the past... now he’s just a pale imitiation of his self but every now and then we SEE THAT TRUE SPARK OF HIS THAT BEEN HIDING ALL ALONG LIKE CHALLENGING HIS RIGHT TO MARRY HYUKJAE AND LIKE FUCKING WINNING IT EVEN THOUGH HE’S SCARED TO DEATH BUT HE’S MORE SCARED OF BEING ALONE AGAIN NOW THAT HE FOUND PPL HE CAN RELY ON \\\O//. 

‘my god died a long time ago’ is honestly one of my fav lines bc it actually talk about two things 1) is that donghae denoucing the gods didn’t begin when his father died but his mother’s death actually. that was when he prayed and prayed for her to recover from her illness but that never happen and since then he realized gods are whimsical beings they only deem to visit you when they want to and not BY UR TERMS. 2) donghae loves his father V V V V MUCH, he admire him for being such a noble and righteous person and was very close to him so while donghae turned away from the gods he put his father on a pedestal and in a way he’s donghae’s god now and when his father died.... so did his god. 

 kyu’s and the crew celebrating ion is actually pretty common thing for them not only to honor donghae and his family’s god but since they are so devout in their beliefs and believe all gods are important they are respectful of even to foreign gods. esse, throughout history, had acquired a lot of territories (mainly smaller islands surrounding their mainland) and each ones of them have their set of beliefs and religion and though they are adsorbed into esse, they are still allow to worship their original gods alongside essein’s 12 holy deities that are super suppppppper important to them.