#i ran this by my psych major roommate to make sure this sounded correct lol

[wildpeachfarm]

Tbh the thing that worries me in this whole situation (amongst others) is that it sort of reinforces the impression I’ve been having that nowadays, when someone makes someone else uncomfortable/scared/betrayed/triggers a trauma of some kind… they always assume the one who ‘hurt’ them MEANT it. There’s never this thought of… oh, this triggered me, I should tell them so they know to be careful about this in the future, and in the meantime, I myself should work on figuring out why I felt this way, and if this is something that can change in me so I don’t get hurt this way again.

It’s all only: They hurt me, so obviously they wanted to hurt me, so obviously they are evil and I should shame them and cut them from my life.

Idk, maybe it’s because I’m in my 30s and already acting like a boomer, but it genuinely worries me for our collective future if this is the kids perceive things and how they go through life. No self-reflection, and no desire to communicate to try to fix problems (and take into account that everyone perceives events differently), and a thirst for revenge on anyone who’s ever wronged them…

Just makes me sad.

Yes, there is this very strange way of thinking that has been reinforced by people on tiktok who got a hold of therapy vocabulary (and I have seen people absolutely ruin relationships over it) and its that "everyone around you is at fault for how you yourself perceive situations".

I have no idea WHY that is being told to people or why a lot of young people (primarily on tiktok) have adopted that thought process but its just not realistic to how things work in the real world.

If someone makes you uncomfortable, you can verbalize it to them and they can apologize sure, but if you interpreted it as malicious it does not automatically mean it MUST HAVE been malicious. People need to understand that their perception of a situation can sometimes be wildly out of line with what actually happened objectively. Can you still be affected by it? of course. But you need to acknowledge that and not pin the blame of your perception onto people that in reality, didn't do what you're claiming they did (especially when its something serious like sexual assault)