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#i really like this one but it took so long jfc i need to either speed my process up by like 1000% or just not do things this ambitious
tizzymcwizzy · 2 years
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what do you do when you look into your father's eye and all you see reflected back at you is a damned, broken boy
it's finally finished,,, man i spent so long on this holy cow djdbhdgbf i first started this back when clouds on the horizon aired and only just finished it, but im really happy with it!! :D ive never done something this complicated, and at that paint it all as well
also here's some closeups and the full background,
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shujistars · 6 days
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it’s really the end omg 😭 i need your time management skills jfc bc i have one complete series on here n it took almost took ONE year…eek
so! some questions:
is there message or theme you wanted people to take away from this series as a whole?
is there any scenes or moments that stand out to you as favorites?
and finally is there anything you would have done differently with the series?
thank you for your effort and time crafting this sol! shuji is probably like the one character i actively search fics for from tr and shuji writers always do him justice like…wow 😭
NARA!!!! oh my god this was so kind?? i don't think i've ever done this before hehe but honestly i don't know how it took me such a short amt of time to do it 😭 music really fuels me and i think this is a perfect example of how much it fuels me haha.
THANK YOU for reading and supporting!! as u know im a shuji girl and frankly the shuji girls (gn) really do him the best. there's so much good shuji content, and while im sad there's not much for kisaki or other valhalla/minor characters, im glad i can help sate your appetite LOL
is there message or theme you wanted people to take away from this series as a whole?
such a good question. i think there's one big one that i personally enjoy; don't wait for people who aren't ready to commit to you. i know reader technically waits for shuji on an emotional level without realizing it (and i think we all would if we were in their situation), but the reason why i wrote them the way i did was because i wanted to show that they did, in fact, make something of themselves before they even saw him again, and it was quite literally by chance. my own relationship actually ended up like this; i ghosted my partner for like 2 weeks after we hung out for the first time, and he texted me randomly one evening asking if i wanted to come over and we've been together for 6 years. but i wasn't waiting around for him, and he wasn't waiting around for me, either; if there's someone you love, you need to be able to let them go if they're not ready, and fate may never have you see them again. sometimes it's for the best; be open to meeting new people, don't get hung up. i know it's easier said than done, but seriously. there's second chances happening everywhere, but don't give those out so easily.
is there any scenes or moments that stand out to you as favorites?
the scene in flaws where shuji leaves was so hard for me to write, and still is my favorite piece ive written to this day. it was probably the angstiest i've written at that point, and while it broke me to write, it felt incredibly cathartic to get it out. i kind of spilled my own feelings into it, with tussling with my own partner on if he wanted to commit or not, too. it sucks, and again, you need to be able to let them go even if it breaks you, because you can come back from that.
honorable mentions: the end scene in laura palmer was also my favorite, writing the fight from canon but taking my own spin on it was really fun. additionally, the club scene involving Ran was also a favorite to write for me, because i wanted to introduce some angst again, and i wanted to "test" Shuji to see if he really wanted them. i think i crafted that moment where he finally realized he wanted to be with reader really well, and i'm really proud of it.
and finally is there anything you would have done differently with the series?
this is one of the first series where i'd say there's probably ONE thing i would've done differently, and that was in the middle with weight of living. i feel like i should've split that into 2 parts (weight of living part i and part ii like how the songs are split), but i wanted a good long chapter since it had been a while since the last update and it flowed together well enough where it made sense to do either. other than that though, i really enjoyed writing this and i think i did a great job with it. i think i budgeted the series out well, and i'm really happy with how it's turned out. it's long enough where it's a good read, but not short enough where it's like "where's the rest???".
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Finished BTD2. Thoughts. You know the drill (no pun intended). This one was tough!!
BTD1 ver \ TPOF ver
Cain
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I didn't think he was all that interesting when I first saw him.
The fact that he is apparently my favorite was not known to me until the creation of this list, just now.
But maybe that's not such a surprise because he's actually got a lot in common with Rire (despite being a fallen angel rather than a demon).
Like Rire, he seems to enjoy the finer things, he's jaded, and more importantly: you have to keep his interest, and he gets bored easily.
Unlike Rire, he's pretty serious by nature (therefore more difficult to entertain and less inclined to put up with 'misbehavior'), practically forlorn even.
Also unlike Rire, though, I think he's more able/likely to become truly fond of someone. He's downright soft once you win him over.
Wings pretty. Hair nice.
I'm also a sucker for the whole 'call me anytime you need help, I'll swoop in and defend you' kind of thing 🥰
First ending: "Cain dropped you"
Favorite ending: either "Cain saved you" or "Cain saw your value"
8.5/10 I'll take him
Lawrence
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Baby boy. Baby.
So sweet and anxious. Doesn't want to hurt you but does want to remove your spine and keep it. Loves you so much he wants to (literally) climb inside your ribcage but also can't believe anyone could truly love him back 🥺
someone get this man a psychiatrist
The little sad smiles, the mutters, the blushes. I could just eat him up fr
First ending: "he took you to the woods"
Favorite ending: "Lawrence got closer" or "Lawrence kept you"
*gently holds* 8/10
Damien
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Gets a special mention despite not technically having his own route because I love him, your honor
I do have a weakness for grumps so this is not shocking
Another fallen angel, related to Cain. An all around good boy despite being kinda cranky. Also a priest if that does anything for you.
You get a nice epilogue with him if you let him rescue you!!
7.5/10, glad the boyfriend he apparently has doesn't keep him from fooling around with me 😏
Vincent
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Went back and forth on him a lot throughout his route
Me when he first appeared on screen: 😳 awooooga!!
Highest percentage of death endings, I think. Yikes. He's easy to piss off.
Big stronk. muscles. scars
I like his personality too. Playful, flirty, and generally easygoing as long as he's not angry.
Protective, loyal, and affectionate (once you win him over), and probably a lot of other traits one could ascribe to a pet dog because.... werewolf
Some of his endings actually gave me feels. He can be very sweet.
Lets you wear!! His clothes!! Because they look good on you and also yours smell good so he wants to keep them! 😖
Some uh. rough kinks 😬 just ignore those I guess
The best ending you can get with him is also poly, which is very cool, because he already kinda has a bf
BUT
I actually kinda dislike the bf so 😒 he's a brat and not in a fun way
First ending: "Vincent stepped in"
Favorite ending: "Vincent saved you"
*scritches ears* 7.5/10 (yeah he's tied with Damien, whatever. I can't choose)
Ren
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I realize I picked a very cute CG but..... this little shit
Once again I'm going to piss off the fandom, because he's another major fan favorite
but he really is kind of a little shit. Also I'm sorry, he looks like he's 13 years old and the thirst train just cannot leave the station with him looking like that
I do sympathize with him and he certainly can be adorable. I'm perfectly happy to be kind to him when he's not zapping the ever-loving shit out of me 😠
I can't forgive him for what he did to my baby boy though!! Ever!!!! I hated playing that scene over and over jfc 😭
(also let me just say...... seeing that body he has in the freezer was so cathartic, I very nearly pointed and laughed)
First ending: "you took Law's place" (of course)
Favorite ending: "you helped Ren"
6/10 I do feel the urge to hug him when he cries
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mjfsupremacy · 4 months
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I love AEW but they need an infrastructure change immediately IMO. TK is great and his passion is admirable but he's too focused on trying to best WWE and has lost what AEW was about, its not about ex E guys and 5 minute wonders.
I'm genuinely fearful for AEWs future at this point, Tony's stronghold is gonna end up choking the life out of AEW. He needs to get rid of the dead weight stop hiring wwe legends and go back to basics AEW isn't WWE and it never will be and that's why we love it.
I completely agree.
I still trust Tony to do the right thing. He's made some big fumbles, but he's pretty good, usually at either showing us why or correcting his mistake. He has genuinely become too focused on trying to be a competitor for wwe rather than an alternative and he needs to take a step back and rethink. (Especially the ronda and flair signing cause jfc my guy what the fawk are you doing what do you mean? You don't get to fire people for saying gross shit or call Vince a sex pest and then HIRE ric flair and ronda rousey lmao like what are we doing here bestie this isn't aew)
It's all still there, things that make AEW, in my opinion, the best wrestling program. I also think the Hangman and Swerve match reminded them that this is AEW at its very best and the continental classic as well is very pro wrestling and I think that's going to give them the chance to get back to basics.
We are so lucky that aew is focused on the future of wrestling. Everyone on their roster is young and exciting, but I believe having legends is super important as well. I've never really had a problem with them bringing in old wwe guys because you need them just as much as you need the fresh blood. I've said this before, but that mentor role is critical in wrestling. These wrestlers have an opportunity to sit under the learning tree of people like Sting and Christian and Jake the Snake and Edge and the Hardys and Danielson and Mox and that is HUGE (I refuse to count Jericho because I hate him and he still only goes into business for himself and I find that infuriating. He's literally damaged multiple young careers while he gets to shine. It's a joke) I just think we have to make sure still that they know that's why they are coming in. The way to curb ego like Punks is to remind them who the future is.
I think Tony needs support backstage for sure, I think he needs a better, stronger team, if he ever has one. I think he needs more women in that team and I think he needs problem solvers who aren't afraid to piss off talent and remind them that aew comes first.
Having said all that, we also need to remember that AEW is still so new, this sort of stuff takes a really long time and I think we hold them to a really high standard because wwe has been running a tight ship for 20-25 years now. We forget it took them decades to get to The point that are at now and it feels unfair sometimes that we won't afford AEW the same courtesy because we hold them to such a high standard.
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siempre-bucky · 2 years
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Hi i love your dad!druig stories, could you do one with the eternals meeting orla for the first time maybe on the way to phastos house? Happy holidays 🎅
Dad!Druig x Reader | Headcanons
Summary: Your and Druig's daughter meeting/interacting with the other Eternals for the first time
A/N: BESTIE LISTEN I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS WAY TOO MUCH. jfc I love dad!druig... buckle up bc this is a little long since I did little headcanons for each of them...with a cute ass bonus at the end
requests are open♡
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Sersi
Sersi ADORES Orla! As soon as she met the kid, she took up the 'greatest aunt ever' mantle.
Orla was just excited to meet her from all the stories you told her
she introduced Orla to the wonderful world of Snapchat filters
"Orla, do you want to see something funny?" she asked
Orla erupted into the biggest fit of giggles that could be heard throughout the ship after she saw herself as an old person
Sersi 10/10 is going to take her on a shopping spree when everyone got settled on earth
Orla loved when Sersi showed her how her powers worked, asking if she could turn everything into water
they're besties 10/10
Makkari
Makkari was more excited to tease Druig about being a dad than anything else!
'Being a father made you soft.' she signed up to him as she knelt in front of her goddaughter. "It's a good look for you."
Druig rolled his eyes as he leaned against the wall
Makkari was the ONLY Eternal that was allowed to tease him about it
she was overjoyed when Orla introduced herself in sign language, her little fingers slowly spelling out her name
she was so happy when Makkari gve her a sign name
"Aunt Makkari can we race around the Domo?"
'You know how that's going to end right?'
"Yeah...but I still wanna try."
Makkari let her win :')
Gilgamesh
Gil was the one Orla was the most nervous about meeting, he was big and strong, looming over her
he smiled down at her and introduced himself
he instantly turned into her personal teddy bear
carrying her around the Domo
lifting her up to the top shelf in the kitchen to get the cookies you hid
Orla was his personal taste tester while he cooked family meals again
no doubt you and Druig asked him to be your children's godfather
Thena
Thena was wary of meeting Orla
after being isolated for so long it was unusual to see a child
especially one made by 2 Eternals, she didn't think it was possible
but after Orla flashed her a toothy grin and asked the goddess to tell her a story she instantly warmed up to your daughter
showing off her weapons and letting her touch them
"She doesn't need combat lessons," you gasped
"She needs to know how to defend herself on the battlefield, Y/n."
"Orla's 6!"
Sprite
Sprite gives off older cousin energy
Orla thought she was just 'ok'
her powers were really cool but that was about it
plus she could tell Druig wasn't fond of her so naturally, she didn't like Sprite either
Ikaris
Orla didn't introduce herself to the flying one
she only met him after the fight in the amazon, she was too petrified and clung to Druig's side
and it wasn't like Ikaris made an attempt to get to know her either
she was 6... not stupid. Orla could sense the tension between the two men
so it was ok he yeeted himself into the sun
Phastos
There was an instant connection between Orla and Phastos after the initial shock went away
being a dad he could sympathize with what she was going through
so he wanted to be her best distraction
watched her while you and Druig got some rest
her favorite part was when he would let her play in his lab helping him come up with new inventions
she and Jack became best friends after Phastos introduced them when they got to Ajak's
Kingo
Kingo made Orla laugh the first time they met
he stared at her for a while, "Druig's your dad?"
she nodded happily, "mmhmm"
"Oh...wanna watch one of my movies?"
Kingo was bound and determined to make Orla a fan of his work
halfway through one of his movies she turned and looked at him, "Can we watch Frozen now?"
regardless, she was his new movie buddy even if that meant just watching Disney movies
Ajak
Orla didn't understand the concept of death
she heard everyone going on and on about Ajak being gone...dead
Orla sat next to Druig as he looked out the window
"When do I get to meet Ajak, Daddy?"
Druig's face fell. "Ajak's gone...she, ehm... passed away."
"But will she be back?"
"No, m'love. Passed away means she won't be back."
Orla frowned and clutched her pink stuffed bunny tighter, "She didn't know me."
"She did." Druig leaned forward and touched one of the stuffed animal's ears. "When mommy found out we were having you, we went to see Ajak and told her. She was the only one that knew about you, and before we left she gave you that bunny."
B O N U S HEADCANONS
Druig
obviously she met her father, but thanks to Karun who just refused to leave the battle on the beach, Orla got to see Druig for who he really was. An Eternal, a hero
she sat on the couch of Ajak's home, nuzzled up next to her dad as she watched him
Druig never let Orla see him use his powers, he didn't want her to see him as someone who controlled people just because he could
but she was in awe as she watched his blue eyes glow, golden swirls covering his body, illuminating his armor
she gasped when those same swirls appeared around everyone else
"Daddy!" She gasped, hopping into his lap, her hands pressed against his cheeks. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him, "Make your eyes glow! Please, please, please!"
his worried face softened, "Maybe someday."
she whined, "Please!"
Y/N
Orla loved you more than life itself
she rarely saw you angry
so it was a huge thing when she saw you creating boulders out of thin air on the tv, hurling them at the man in the blue and gold suit
"Woah," she said in wonder at your powers and the cool suit you wore
you sucked in your lower lip, a little embarrassed at yourself... but then again Ikaris did try to kill your husband
"Mommy that was awesome! Ugh you're so cool."
Druig looked over to you with an amused smile
"All that just for me?" he joked
you hummed and nodded, "And I would do it again."
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narutogwriting · 3 years
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If requests are open, then: Gaara has chosen a bride, but during their engagement she refuses to capitulate to Suna’s council and their desires to have her on their side instead of Gaara’s. So, in order to break trust/break them apart (the details are obvs your choice), a councilman or two sends a shinobi to sexually assault her.
Fortunately, Gaara discovers the man in time to save you.
With this prompt, could you write something for it? Hurt/confort, lemons (jfc tumblr just knock it off with the gag order already), dark/horror, your choice!
PRECIOUS
Pairing: Gaara x Reader
CW: Attempted sexual assault, light NSFW
Length:  4.6k+
A/N: I absolutely hate how this came out, but I hope it works for you and is what you were expecting!
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You know that feeling you have when you’re younger? You have the adults in your life. They always seem to know exactly what to say, what to do. And you never truly have to worry, because if you don’t have the answer, there’s always someone that does.
Right and wrong. It’s all so black and white, and you’re lucky because the adults in your life always make the upstanding choices.
At least, that’s what you think. 
And then you grow up. Little by little, you become older and wise enough to realize the more you think you know, the less you do.
And maybe it’s something big or something small when you first start to lose your faith in those in authority. But there’s always a moment when it clicks; the people in authority know no more than you do, they’re not morally honorable at all. They just have the power.
You’d been a ninja your whole life, but as you got older, you opted to step into a more political role for your village. You’d been around long enough to see how corrupt the ninja system was as a whole, and you had wanted to change it from the inside out.
You thought you’d already had your moment, multiple moments, even, that showed you just how amoral and deceitful the powers that be were.
You had no idea how bad they truly could get.
“So, I hope you understand what we’re asking. Your compliance is… let’s just say, in your best interest.”
Silence ensued. Sunagakure, like the other villages, had a system of checks and balances. Gaara was the Kazekage, leader of the village, but that didn’t mean he had this all consuming power. The Suna Council consisted of twelve members, all in place to make sure the Kazekage is doing what they should and that all decisions were made in the villages best interest.
The council and the Kazekage were supposed to be working together for the village, to make things, better, to help the people. The council was supposed to be supporting the Kazekage as the leader.
So, in a way, you almost couldn’t believe they would ask you this. Only almost. . The Sand Village had never had a reputation of being above reproach. Why, it was just a few years ago when they had partnered with the Sound Village to overthrow the Leaf Village, killing the Hokage in the process. Gaara had only been a child then, but the Suna Council that had agreed with the plot then was the same council that now demanded you betray your husband to be.
They wanted you in their ranks. The direction that Gaara was ready to lead Suna in wasn’t a direction the elders were ready for it to go.
It was new and completely different from anything they’d seen before. But Gaara was insistent that Suna was going to enter an era of peace and perseverance. They would be a village that would fight for the good of the world, not solely their own interests. Suna as a village would no longer be number one. People would be.
And so they expected you to play a secret agent for them. They would give you orders, and then, as Gaara’s wife to be, you would manipulate him into their desires, make him think they were his own. You would play him as if he were a puppet on your strings.
Maybe it was because you had been a diplomat before moving to the Sand for Gaara. They thought because you were a politician, that you would understand their requests and be bought off so easily. It was the very reason you’d taken the position; the way village politics worked needed to change.
The twelve council members stared at you steadily and expectantly. They expected your concurrence, couldn’t imagine that there would be any thought of going against their wishes. They’d gone so long getting exactly what they wanted.
All good things must come to an end. 
There were a couple ways you could have played this. Agreed and then told Gaara what they’d asked. That they were demanding for you to work Gaara behind the scenes and manipulate him to their will. You could have agreed, even. Accepted their offers of power and betrayed your betrothed.
You had endless options, but you would take none of them.
Gaara was the love of your life, going to be your husband, and you would present as a strong front. You would let there be no question of where your loyalty was.
Pushing back your chair, you stood, smacking your hands down on the tables, a sudden, loud move that made the old hags jolt. You bit back a satisfied smirk; good. You wanted to scare them, let them know *exactly where they stood with you.
“How dare you?” You demanded from them, meeting each member’s eye slowly and purposefully, wanting them to understand just how badly they had screwed up by trying to turn you against Gaara.
“I don’t know how things worked back in your days, but Gaara becoming Kazekage has reigned in a new era of peace and restitution for the Sand. Things will no longer be the way you allowed it to for so long, full of evil and sneakiness and cowardice. You’re going to learn soon enough; Suna has no more need for the ways of the old world.” You pushed off the table, scowling in disgust.
“How dare you call yourselves leaders while you attempt to turn the Kazekage’s betrothed into a traitor.” Lips pursed, you looked over them all one more time, doing nothing to hide the contempt in your gaze. “The Kazekage is not going to be pleased when he hears about this.”
With that, you turned on your heel, stomping out of the room, letting the door slam closed behind you.
Out of the room now, away from their gaze, you leaned against the other side of the door, feeling the way your heart raced erratically. You couldn’t believe you’d talked like that to the Suna Council. 
You’d never been meek, really. Confrontation just wasn’t your favorite thing, and besides this, you respected your elders and village leaders greatly, not discounting their wisdom or experience just because of different times. You’d even admired the council up until this moment. 
But no amount of reverence or admiration would ever surpass what you felt for Gaara. You loved him more than anything or anyone, and you would always be on his side no matter what. There was nothing and no one that could make you falter or second guess being by his side.
Heading back to your apartment, you wished not for the first time you shared it with Gaara. You and Gaara didn’t live together yet; he wasn’t exactly traditional, but he wanted to keep up the appearance of it. He didn’t want to move in together until the two of you were officially married, and that day was coming up soon. You could wait just a little longer until you got to wake up to his face every morning.
Nothing sounded more blissful.
It had been a diplomacy mission that had brought you from your home in Iwagakure to Suna for the very first time. 
Love at first sight wasn’t necessarily something you believed in, but the first time you laid eyes on Gaara, you knew there was something special in him. You’d heard the stories and the rumors your whole life, the demonic reincarnation of the one tailed beast that killed everything in his path to the reformed and revered youngest Kage in history.
Gaara had been nothing like you expected.
He had the kindest eyes you’d ever seen. At a young seventeen years old, his eyes held stories of a hundred lifetimes. He was quiet, observant. He took in everything and everyone around him, considering their every move and word before responding himself. When he spoke, it was with a shared respect and understanding of those who he was addressing.
You’d bowed respectfully when you met, addressing him, of course, as Kazekage. When you’d straightened, his eyes on you had you blushing; you felt bare under his gaze.
A week. You were only in Suna one week, and that was all it took for you to fall for Gaara. From the first late night the two of you spent negotiating and discussing the particulars of the alliance between your villages, you got to know Gaara more than you’d ever imagined you would.
And Gaara was just as sprung. From your easy smile to the quickness of your thoughts to the passion in which you spoke, he’d never met anyone like you.
You were a marvel to Gaara, and he didn’t let you leave without letting you know.
You were surprised in all honesty. You hadn’t been able to read whether or not he was as interested in you as you were in him, but either way, you wouldn’t have expected a person like Gaara to be so forward.
He was modest and reverent the night before you were to go back to your village when he told you he’d like you to return soon. He left no room for you to wonder what he meant, instantly letting you know that it was because he was enamoured with you, and he had every intention in pursuing you romantically if you would let him. 
Of course you would.
It was one and a half years of dating before you’d opted to give up your position in your village to move to the Sand. Gaara didn’t ask you to, never would have dreamed of making you choose between him and your job, but it was the obvious choice to you.
You loved Gaara irrevocably, and he was Kazekage. He couldn’t leave his village, so you would go to him.
It was only a year after that when Gaara asked you to marry him in a way that was so him. It was quiet and private and romantic as hell.
He’d asked you to go with him for a quiet walk to the green house, just about the only place in Suna that had any plants. It was both of your favorite places, so of course you agreed.
When you’d arrived, the green house was alight with fairy lights strung from every corner. Petals from various flowers littered the floor walkway down to an arc of ivy that definitely hadn’t been there before.
Looking at Gaara, your mouth hung agape in disbelief and confusion. He gave you a soft smile, taking your hand and leading you down the walkway. By the time you got to the ivory arc, you had tears overflowing. 
“Yes!” You were crying before he even got down on one knee.
Gaara had tried to shoosh you with a small laugh, but you weren’t having it, throwing your arms around him and peppering him with kisses before he could get a word in.
“You have to let me ask you. I have a speech.” He tried to tell you, but gave up as you continued to kiss him, laughing and kissing you back. He pulled a rock carved in the shape of a heart. Lifting the lid, it revealed the beautiful ring he had made for you.
He had to hold you still so he could slip the ring on your finger before kissing your hand.
“I love you,” He told you, those intense green eyes gazing into yours.
~
Your wedding was still a ways away, but you and Gaara were clearly in love. Why the council genuinely thought you would go along with their demands were beyond you. You’d given up politics for love without a second thought.
Shaking your head, you were relieved when your front door came into view. The first thing you wanted to do leaving your meeting was to go straight to Gaara, but he was gone for the next week on his own diplomacy meeting.
You sighed as you got into bed. Whenever he was home, the council was going to be in for a world of hurt. You could only imagine how livid and betrayed Gaara would geel.
~
The next few days went by without incident, though that did make you feel just a bit nervous. You expected to be called in for some sort of meeting again, to be talked to, at least sent a message. 
But there was nothing. All was peaceful and quiet.
The time passes slowly and uneventfully. You did paperwork and spent time with some friends. That night, you settled into bed with a cup of tea and a book, wishing Gaara was beside you. He’d be gone for a few more days still. 
So you opted for just a relaxing night in by yourself. You usually went to sleep early-ish, but that night, you were up well past your usual bedtime, emerged in the fantasy world in between the pages you were reading.
It was because you were awake that you heard a noise from your living room. It was small, barely there, but you’d heard it. It sounded like someone had bumped into something, maybe your living room table, and had been quick to steady it.
You froze, listening carefully for any more sound, but nothing came. You had almost convinced yourself that you imagined the whole thing, but every one of your senses was on high alert. Carefully, slowly, you crept out of your bed, grabbing the kunai you kept under your pillow just in case.
You held your breath, not wanting to risk even making a sound, as you tiptoed towards your bedroom door. Ear pressed to the cool wood, you listened.
Silence met you, but you weren’t convinced. Years as a Shinobi had taught you to trust your gut. Something was off; you could feel it.
Decided to go on the offensive, you turned the door handle and threw open the door, quickly barreling through the opening. You caught the intruder dead in their tracks. He was dressed in all black, everything covered besides his dark eyes.
You were in such shock at there actually being someone there, you froze for a split second. The intruder took that second to attack, lunging at you.
He smashed into you, knocking both of you to the floor, and that’s when your instincts kicked in. As soon as your back hit the floor, you were rolling, throwing your legs over your head and then you were on your feet, sending a kick into the man’s abdomen.
The man let out a gasp as the air was knocked from him. Wasting no time, you sprinted to your front door, ready to flee and call for help.
You weren’t prepared for another intruder waiting at the otherside of the door. The second you opened it, locking eyes with him, his fist lashed out before you could even react.
Pain was all you felt before the world went black. 
The world came into view slowly. As your vision cleared, you realized you were in your own bedroom. When you tried to move, you were alarmed to find that your arms and legs were both bound. Your attempt at a scream was muffled by the gag in your mouth. 
“Heh, we’ve been waiting for you to wake up.” Your head jerked to see the intruder that you had kicked looming over you. “You’re lucky you got that kick in when you did, but I’m gonna have to pay you back for that one.”
He drew his hand back before smacking it across your face. You gave a muffled cry as the left side of your face stung in pain. 
“Stop fucking around,” hissed the other man. “We have orders. Get to it.”
You looked up between the two, scared and confused. What kind of orders? 
The first man chuckled with a smirk that looked more like a sneer. “Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this…” He mused as he pulled out a kunai. He moved toward you slowly, deliberately, letting the fear creep from your neck down your spine.
You shook your head, jerking this way and that, but the second intruder pinned you to the bed by your shoulders. “Better stay still, bitch.” He hissed at her. “We got a job to do here. This’ll teach you to defy the village council. By the time we’re done with you, you won’t think twice about doing what they say.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, your night shirt was fisted by the first man before he ripped the kunai through it. 
Your face burned hot with embarrassment and shame as the remains of your top were shredded, leaving you bare. You could feel their eyes looming over you, taking in every part of your skin.
“Even your fiancé ain’t gonna want you when we’re done.” You heard snickered, but by this point you’d screwed your eyes shut, not wanting to see them looking at you like you were a piece of meat.
Shuffling made your eyes peak back open to see the first man fumbling with the buttons of his pants. 
“Oh yeah, I’m gonna enjoy this.”
He shoved his boxers down, revealing himself as he palmed his length to hardness.
You began thrashing again with renewed vigor despite the hands still pinning your shoulders down. Somehow, you managed to free yourself from the second man's grasp, rolling off the bed and attempting clumsily to push yourself to your feet.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Your ankles were grabbed and unceremoniously, you were dragged kicking back to the man. In moments he had your own pants discarded before he was looming over you.
Everything about him was revolting you. His smell, his heavy body to those cold dead eyes. In one last desperate attempt, you headbutted him as hard as you could, feeling your forehead smash into his nose.
Warm blood spurted out, splashing over you as he let out a mangled scream. “You bitch! I’ll kill you!”
Spots flashed before your vision as his fist connected with your cheek, leaving you disoriented and drowning in pain.
“I’ve had enough of this,” the second man hissed, shoving the first one off of you. “I’ll take care of this.”
He pinned you with his entire body as you felt him shuffling for his pants once more.
You weren’t sure when you’d started crying, but the tears were flowing, drenching your cheeks as your stomach turned sickly. You screwed your eyes shut, willing your mind to go anywhere else but here.
There was nothing else to do but resign yourself to your fate. You couldn’t fight back or scream for help. All you could do was pray it would be over quickly. 
You were still waiting when the weight of his body suddenly lifted off of yours, and you heard the most horrifying scream. Your blood went cold at the sound, causing your eyes to shoot open.
Sobs began to wrack your body as it shook with relief so great it overwhelmed you. Gaara! He was here!
And you’d never seen him look so angry before. 
His eyes were wide and crazed, the vessels looking like they would pop at any second. The men were screaming, pleading, but Gaara couldn’t hear them pass the blood rushing in his ears. Teeth bared, he was growling, the sound menacing and maniacal.
In this moment you understood something in a way you never had before: Gaara was a force to be feared.
“Please! Please, we’re sorry!” “No! Don’t!”
“Sand Coffin.” 
The men let out one last strangled scream before they were silenced permanently. Blood splattered everywhere, pouring down like rain. It streamed down over you and everything else in your room. 
Gaara was panting hard, still looking more wild than you’d ever seen him. His eyes were locked on the sand that was seeping red with blood. 
A small whimper from you brought him back. His eyes quickly flickered to you, and it was like you could see his soul returning to his body.
He was by your side in a second, kneeling next to you and pulling you to him. He gently removed the gag from your mouth and removed the bind from your wrists and ankles.
He didn’t know what to say, didn’t have the words. He just held you while you weeped into his chest, wrapped in a blanket and finally feeling safe in his arms. 
It took you a while to calm down. The adrenaline had left your body, leaving you only with the weight of what had almost happened. The fear and shock left you trembling, ripping sobs from your throat.
“I’m here…” He kept repeating. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
Once you were able to finally relax, Gaara packed you a bag and took you to his home. You would never need to go back to your home with those traumatic memories, he decided. To hell with tradition or social conventions. He would move you into his home first thing the next morning.
At Gaara’s home, he ran a bath for the two of you filled with bubbles. He took a warm wash cloth, gently wiping the blood from your body. He massaged the blood back to the areas you’d been binded and iced the bruises on your face, any traces of the manic man from earlier gone. All that was left was the serene Gaara you knew and loved.
Gaara didn’t press you to talk or tell him anything the whole while, only made sure you were attended to and cared for.
It was later on once the two of you were in bed with Gaara holding you close to him that you filled him in on what had happened: the Suna Council attempts to get you to turn against Gaara and manipulate him to their purpose. What those men had said before they’d attempted to… you couldn’t even say the word.
Gaara took it all in silently, but you could feel his grip on you tighten just slightly as you spoke. He was livid; you could see it in his eyes, though it was much more subdued than before. “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” he finally spoke, his words heavy and choked.
“If you weren’t marrying me…” He stopped, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “I’m sending out word first thing to the four other villages. We’ll have the members disbanded and imprisoned before the week ends.” He assured you with a conviction and sternness you’d only seen in meetings before. 
Nodding, you pulled him closer to you. “I never thought I’d see you again…” You told him. “I was so scared… I thought…” You shook your head. “You saved me. You’re always there.”
“Always,” Gaara said, kissing your head. 
He didn’t know whether to chalk it all up to luck or intuition that he’d come home early. He had just missed you so terribly, it was like he suddenly couldn’t stand to be away from you for another moment. He’d cut his diplomacy trip early and hurried back, getting to you in just the nick of time.
“I don’t wanna talk about it anymore…” You murmured, looking up at him. “I just wanna forget about it, just for tonight…” With that, you reached up to press your lips to his.
Gaara hesitated only for a moment before kissing you back. He’d missed you so much, and if this was what was going to make you feel better, well, who was he to deny you? In a moment, you were up on top of him, straddling his lap as you kissed him more forcefully, almost desperately.
Gaara’s arms went around you, fingers digging into your hips as he held you against him. He let one hand slide up your back into your hair, tangling his fingers in the strands. Slowly, your lips slid down, moving over his jaw down to his neck, peppering every area you could reach with kisses.
Your name left Gaara’s mouth, a low, needy whine. It sent a jolt through your body, and you began to grind yourself into his lap. You could feel Gaara’s grip tighten in your hair even more as he slowly began to harden underneath you.
Your fingers began to pull at the hem of his shirt desperately. You needed something to ground you. You needed Gaara.
He let you pull the shirt off of him, discarding it to the side before he was on you again.
He flipped you over so you were on your back as he attached his own lips to your neck, attacking the skin, marking you as his. You were moaning and trembling under his touch, begging him for more as his hands wandered your body.
“Gaara,” You groaned out as his fingers fumbled with the waistband of your pants. “No foreplay. I want you now.”
You could hear Gaara stifle his groan at your words before your pants were unceremoniously yanked down. His lips pressed harshly back to yours, all tongue and teeth. Gaara had put aside his own feelings earlier for yours, but now they were pouring out of him.
His anger at the council. His bloodthirst for those men. His fear for what almost had happened to you; you could taste it all in the kiss. Gaara needed you to ground him just as much as you needed him to ground you.
One moment you were kissing and the next your clothes were in a pile, and he was inside of you, hands pinning down your hips as he rutted into you desperately. Your nails scratched down his back, you tried to moan or cry out, but all your sounds were swallowed by his lips.
You were breathless, dizzy as his hips pounded into yours, never breaking the kiss. His pelvic bone caught your clit with every movement and it wasn’t long before you were gushing around him, but he didn’t slow his moments. He pulled your legs up, locking them around his waist. “More,” He was mumbling against your lips. “More.” When it was over, you cumming around his cock countless times before he finally found his own release, spilling inside of you endlessly, he pulled you into his side, holding you closer than he had in some time.
“I’ve never seen you like that before.” The image played in your mind, Gaara’s eyes wild and burning, the flames of anger behind them.
Gaara tensed slightly, but you placed your hand on his chest, calming him as you gazed up at him. You weren’t afraid of him. You were only… intrigued by this side of him you’d never experienced.
“I use to crave blood.” He told you. “I know you have heard the stories. My whole life, I was told I was a monster. I thought I was one. My sole purpose was to kill everyone around me so I could survive.”
His hand was rigid on your shoulder as he spoke, but you held his gaze unwavering. You accepted Gaara. Every part of him. 
“But now, I know my true purpose.” His stare was steady, sure. “Ever since I’ve become Kazekage. My purpose has been to protect those precious to me, those who need someone to protect them. I no longer crave violence or blood. But I will not let anyone, no matter who they are, hurt someone I love…” He pulled you even closer, placing a kiss on the top of your head. 
“I never would have dreamed I would have someone precious to me, or someone who I am precious to. But now that I have you, I’m never going to let you go.”
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cinnamonest · 3 years
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Razor (Genshin Impact) - Yandere Profile
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@bleachlemon
I'm glad you are ok with it because oh boy do I have some very very n a s t y noncon-y thoughts about our wolfboi. We love a dense boy, not a single thought in his empty, horny lil brain. Head empty, just horny for y/n. 
I also have the big horny™ for any cross between boys and canines... Does smth for me. As if my favoritism wasn't obvious by how much I've written below lmao
tw: general yandere content, violence, mentions of n/sfw
tw below cut: breeding, heavy  noncon, like jfc this is nasty, misogynistic
----
What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?
The biggest issue with Razor is his complete and total lack of restraint. He sees no need for it, he has no real concept of social norms. Wolves don't really practice restraint on... anything. When they see something they want to kill, they kill it, when they see something they want to have, they have it, when they're mad, they attack, when they're hungry, they eat.
So in a way, he's perfectly lucid, but doesn't act as a normal lucid person who understands social norms would do. He knows that you give him some burning, fluttery feeling, and that he enjoys having you around, and that he gets sad when you have to leave. He's perceptive enough to know it's the same urge that drives humans to form their long-term mate partnerships. If that's what they refer to as "love," he'll readily adopt that term as a way to describe what he feels. What he doesn't get is everything between point A and point Z. No point in all the "courtship" and "marriage" and other human customs -- he doesn't need to "date" to know you're the one, and he doesn't need some signed paper to signify he loves you. In his mind, it's perfectly logical to expect you to immediately come live out in Wolvendom with him. You did accept all his courtship signs, after all.
Wolves are very straightforward with it, you see. Their courtship includes going for walks side-by-side, close to each other, which you did when you let him guide you through the woods. Wolves will rest their head or legs on the other, and you let him rest his head on your shoulder (even if you flinched with surprise when he did, uncomfortable but too nice to say anything). He even when to the extent of engaging in human mating rituals -- you accepted all those gifts he hunted down, and you smiled when he said nice things about how pretty you are, how nice you smell.
So in other words, you've basically already accepted him as a mate. That's what he's perceived, and changing his initial perceptions is not easily accomplished.
How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?
One of the most likely, and definitely the fastest. Possibly after meeting you a single time. He can't take the risk of you not coming back.
He won't be very subtle or sneaky about it either, not tricking you into walking right into captivity, nor drugging you or taking you in your sleep. It's very straightforward - it's not like there's anyone in Wolvendom to hear you, so he has no problem just slinging you over his shoulder and carrying you off. He kinda gets why you'd panic, so he reassures you that no, he's not gonna eat you or anything, you're just going home.
Don't worry about the pack - they won't eat you either, or even hurt you. He's already told them not to. He gets why you might be frightened by the massive, snarling creatures and their massive teeth and eyes that shine in moonlight, but he'll make sure you get used to them and accept them as your family, just like he has.
How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 
That depends. Can you fight off two 180-pound masses of claws, teeth, and muscle? If so, sure, it'll be easy. If not... you'll have some issues.
He's lucky to have such a loyal pack that will help him with these things - they don't exactly understand why you'd want to leave, but they know you're not supposed to. Even when he has to leave you, which isn't often, he'll leave a few of them around to watch you. To make sure no one comes and steals you or anything - and of course, the implication that it's to make sure you don't run away, either. He doesn't really get why you would, but he's come to the realization, based on what you've tried to tell him, that you miss your family and friends. And he gets that, he really does, but in the end, he's selfish at his core, and his empathy for you isn't enough for him to just let you go.
He sleeps latched onto you, arms wrapped around you, so it's not a good idea to try. Your best bet is to wait for a time he's gone and distract the wolves with something, which isn't too hard, and run for it. But even if you do manage to escape, you won't be for long. They can smell you from a mile away and will use your scent to pinpoint you down within a few minutes. They don't exactly have any gentle ways of taking you down and bringing you back, either. They're basically going to have to use their teeth, so it's better if you don't struggle - you'll just hurt yourself.
If he catches you, though, he'll just get huffy and angry, and much like when initially taking you, he'll just pick you right up and bring you back. He's not opposed to stealing ropes and the like from the passing knights, and tying knots isn't too difficult to figure out.
How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?
Poor boy is very easy to lie to and manipulate. Head empty, not many thoughts up there. However, you'll have to be clever about it, because most of the time, even if he believes you, he doesn't care. Sure, you can easily convince him that it's normal for human couples to sleep separately... But that's not going to stop him from curling up with you, because that's what he does. That's what wolves do.
He will, however, be somewhat easily manipulated into getting you things you want, if he thinks it'll make you happy. However, obtaining things you want will almost definitely come in the form of theft, or worst case scenario, the body of a passer-by that just so happened to have something you wanted visibly on their person.
If he finds out you lied to him on something, he'll get pouty and grumpy. It's not pleasant, but it's better than the rage reaction of some yanderes.
How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?
His life revolves around you, and yours should revolve around him. That's how mates are. You can go for walks in the woods! You can take naps in the sun together! You can spend literal hours mating! Why would you need anything else?
That being said, he's always had a uniqueness from the wolves in that he's awake more - wolves sleep about 14 hours a day, him only about 8 or 9. You'll definitely be getting a lot more sleep than you would back home, but you'll have a few precious hours to yourselves. It makes him happy - it used to be time he spent all alone, a reminder of how he didn't truly fit in with humans nor wolves. But now, you have that time together! He's willing to do most anything you want, so long as you're together. He's always had some adaptative differences he practices by himself - making fires, cooking food on them, wearing clothes. If you want to go exploring, you can do that, if you want to make food, you can do that too. He'll even accommodate you if you want to do useless things, like your insistence on teaching him to read, or practicing his speech.
What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?
It's fairly simple. Don't leave. That's really the one big one.
He's actually not one to make a rule against fighting him - he'll see it as you wanting to play fight, wrestling, which wolves do all the time. It's fun, even if it's easy for him to win. And it's exciting when you fight back, in a weird way.
Don't make contact with other humans, if you see them. Oh, and he'll want you to report to him everything you did or saw while he was gone hunting.
Generally, if he gives you a command, which isn't too much, he expects you to follow it. In his mind, he's the male, he's supposed to tell you what to do. Isn't that how it usually works with humans too?
If you're too disobedient, he'll get grumpy. Honestly, his most likely form of dealing with it is to wrestle you to the ground, and essentially hold you down until you comply or agree to whatever he wants.
How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?
Rip.
But seriously. No, they're not going to last. He's one of the more paranoid ones, because deep down he's aware of how little he understands. For all he knows, every human male that talks to you could be doing what you call "flirting." Hell, didn't some girls like other girls too? How does he know which ones do and which ones don't? That means everyone is a threat, and he can't let threats get in the way.
He's not one of the ones to be subtle or try to hide it from you. He will probably try a little bit if he knows it's one of your family or friends whose blood is soaking his clothes when he comes back to you, but if it's random, he might even be proud. Look at that, he took down a whole search party that came looking for you all by himself! It's proof of his strength and dominance, and you should be happy that you have a strong mate to protect you! And he doesn't really empathize well - if you're upset, he will explain exactly that to you, and insist you change how you see things. Humans are so strange, being upset that your mate is able to protect you. You'll see why it's a good thing eventually, he's sure.
How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?
He gets frustrated pretty easily. It's usually just a lack of understanding, in his mind, you're being unnecessarily difficult almost all the time. He has told you a million times he doesn't care about whatever is normal for humans, yet you continuously bring it up, and that's a bit irritating. He'll huff and sigh and clamp a hand over your mouth if you're going on about it, and if you really refuse to shut up about it, there are a variety of ways of making you quiet - or distracting you from complaints.
He's got an immature streak, as he never really had anyone around to teach him otherwise. So he gets very pouty, a little bit aggressive and forceful when it comes to being upset over something or getting his way. If he wants attention and you're not giving it to him, he won't hesitate to just take whatever you're holding and focused on of your hands and toss it to the side.
On the positive side, he's never going to be passive aggressive. He's always straightforward and has no hesitation to tell you exactly how he's feeling.
If he's genuinely, truly furious, he can get violent. He'll probably apologize and definitely feel bad, licking all the little wounds. He wouldn't try to do anything so bad as bone breaking or severely hurting you, but might accidentally lose control of his own strength.
Do they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?
More or less an equal. Not much to say here, as, to be honest, that sort of thing hasn't really crossed his mind. He doesn't waste time with thoughts of relative value, he just knows he loves you and wants you.
Subconsciously, it would be slightly below. Due to a very natural upbringing, he automatically associates males as being the leaders and alphas, while females are... Well, puppy-making machines. Don't try to accuse him of any sort of sexism or anything - he can't even really wrap his head around the concept, much less understand why it's wrong to acknowledge how much weaker you are than him. If you need proof of that, he can easily wrestle with you and prove it.
How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?
Pretty highly determined. He mistakes a lot of things as signs of love, though. You might be only complying out of fear or exhaustion, but he won't be able to tell, he's not good with facial expressions, so he thinks it's a sign you're accepting him.
Honestly, he's one of the ones that, albeit unintentionally, will kind of guilt you into acceptance. You inevitably feel bad for him, you can tell how lonely he really is, and how desperately he loves you, wants you to love him. His intentions aren't malicious, and it's actually difficult to truly resent him, unlike some yanderes. Ironically, it reaches a point where rejecting him sometimes really does feel like kicking a sad little stray puppy in the rain - it makes you feel awful when he gets sad and quiet.
While there are a lot of yanderes who would be a lot more earnest and striving to serve and please you, which he doesn't really do, he's probably one of the most patient yanderes when it comes to this. He doesn't care if it takes the rest of your lives. He'll never give up or just settle for having you with him, he'll be loving you and trying to be reassured of your love till the day he dies, if that's what it takes.
Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?
Primarily, it's hard to emphasize how significantly his lack of human socialization impacts his yandere behaviors.
Most yanderes are forced to acknowledge the inherent wrongness of their actions - some will accept it and not care that it's wrong, some sadists enjoy knowing it's wrong, some will delude themselves into justifying it, some will try their best to act within moral boundaries or make up for their wrongness somehow. But all in all, they all have to face the reality of the situation and understand that what they're doing is considered wrong.
Razor's not like that. He doesn't really take the moral aspect into consideration. To him, the whole idea is simply a human thing entirely. It doesn't matter what humans do. He views the world in a very black and white sense. Morality is a more abstract concept, what's more important is how things are relative to himself - what he wants.
Tends to communicate in strange ways. Excess emotions, too much happiness or anger or whatever can make him forget his words, so there's a lot of subtle communication through grunts, whimpers, growls. Over time, you learn how to distinguish between the various noises and body language and what they mean.
Will lick you. It's weird. It's kinda gross. But it's just how he shows affection. He tends to get carried away with kisses, ending up lapping at your lips, licking your neck and collarbones, nuzzling his head into you.
General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?
Scientifically speaking, male sex drive is heavily boosted by testosterone. Testosterone can be greatly increased by heavy physical activity, eating high amounts of meat, sun exposure, and is even directly correlated to spending large amounts of time outdoors. 
You see where this is going.
Very high drive, very touchy, and no reservations, no shame. Thank whatever deity you care to recognize in Tevyat that you're isolated from other people out in the woods, because he has no concept of norms or appropriateness, and trying to get him to understand is a fruitless effort. You're wasting your time trying to explain the idea that groping and touching out of the blue is considered rude, or that most human men take issue with being very visibly, very noticeably hard and would likely try to conceal it, not just sit there with the blatant bulge poking forward... His response will only be that you're far away from humans, so it shouldn't matter. He's just trying to show you he loves you, that's why he insists on grinding into you all the time, staring at your body, humping you when you're curled up together quite ironically like a horny dog.
Unfortunately, he basically just does not know how to be gentle or slow about it. He can start off trying to be slow and soft if you beg for it, but once you're actually laying there and he's in you, he gets caught up in instinct and the heat of the moment, and just kinda... forgets about that whole "slow and gentle" thing, opting to just rut you as hard and fast as possible.
He doesn't talk much during sex. He already has some trouble forming sentences in normal times, you can't expect him to when he's fucking. You won't get a lot of words besides the occasional, "good, feels good," or little commands, but you will get a lot of animalistic noises - possessive growls, little whines of pleasure. He doesn't have any sense to hold back on his noises.
He's also the least likely to care about things like shaving, periods, or imperfections. Which is good, but you also can't use those things as an excuse to not fuck, it'll go in one ear and out the other.
How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?
It's not so much an intentional disregard for your willingness, so much as a combo of not really considering it, and thinking it's just something you'll change on. If he's human, and he has the urge, that means surely you do too. Sometimes humans need emotional connections before they want to mate, right? So he just needs to express his love to you. The looping problem there is that fucking you is pretty much his primary way of expressing love. It'll work out in the end, he guesses.
His limited knowledge of humanity also will lead him to certain conclusions. From what he understands, human society often shames females for having sex and wanting sex, right? That's dumb. But their mentality is probably ingrained in your brain, isn't it? That's why you act like this. But don't worry, he's not like the human men. Wolves don't feel that way. You'll understand that with time.
What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?
Biting/Scratching/Marking
It's a natural reaction to him. If he's balls deep in you, mounted on and pounding into your body, thrusting so hard that your body is lurching forward with every movement, he wants a way to hold you still, keep your body in place so that each pounding goes deeper and harder. It's second nature for him to just sink his teeth into your jugular, your neck, your shoulders. As an added bonus, he likes seeing the marks it leaves behind, in addition to how his fingernails that dig into your hips leave little indents in your skin.
Breeding
He doesn't know how to not cum in you. You can't honestly expect him to pull out of you, you're so warm and wet and soft, it would be torture not to reach a climax buried inside that tight heat. You can go on a rant about not wanting to get pregnant, but it'll go in one ear and out the other. He doesn't get it - you're supposed to want to have his pups. Do you not think he's a suitable mate for reproducing? You'll be halfway through explaining why kids aren't in your current agenda before being flipped over and pounded into yet again with his newfound determination to prove his strength and dominance to you. Once you understand that, surely, you'll want all the puppies you can possibly make.
Predator/Prey
This applies mostly to escape attempts. He'll be mad, but it triggers something in him, something instilled by years of hunting down poor little prey animals. The desire to hunt you down, find you, and ruin you. Instead of ripping you apart like he would boars, he can't think of anything but just fucking you up against the nearest tree, the ground, anything. The faster you run, the more afraid you are, the more exciting it is. It's a very primal urge, one that commands all sorts of predators, both in feeding and breeding.
Forced Orgasms
As with many human things, he makes certain discoveries with time about sex. The first time you fuck, it'll probably be too rough for you to really cum, but it'll only be a few days in before your body adjusts to the girth that's frequently inside of you, and you end up spasming all over him - and he's just got this shocked expression, watching with amazement when you clench down and quiver under him. Wait, you mean human females can orgasm too? Not just the men?
From that point forward, he's determined to fuck, lick, grind, and force every orgasm out of you as physically possible. It makes him feel a weird sort of pride and contentment. It's one of the few things that makes him a big smug. Even if you feel like you can't possibly cum any more, he'll try anyway.
How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?
It's your purpose! He has learned that human girls only have one baby at a time, sometimes two, which is nothing compared to how many pups wolves usually have in one litter. That means that you'll have to make up for the lack of quantity of pups with quantity of pregnancies, which means constantly breeding and breeding and making sure every last drop stays inside of you. He doesn't understand why humans would even want to prevent pregnancy, it's the best thing that can happen, it's the whole reason you're alive, and it's a sign that you're his. Like with most things, he knows eventually you'll come around. Once you actually have the pups there in front of you, you'll love it. He knows you will.
What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?
He's a little lacking on the thought process behind punishing. If he's mad, it tends to cloud his thoughts, reverting to a more animalistic state, and he's not gonna have the complex thoughts required to really think through punishment, so it's not gonna be anything complex.
Doesn't really matter, if he's mad, just fucking you is going to feel like a punishment, with him slamming you into the ground, a tree, any rough surface nearby and just rutting you, claw-like fingernails digging into your skin and teeth sinking into your shoulder to hold you in place, a hand clasped around your throat. Fucking is basically the primary outlet he chooses for his emotions, happiness, love, stress, and anger alike, a simple, primal form of expression. If he's mad, he just needs to take it out on something, release all of that force and energy into rough, brutal motions. Normally when he's angry, he'll go hunt down some animal, taking all that anger out on the kill. But, recently he's learned he actually quite prefers to release his anger this way. It's more satisfying and enjoyable, and it deters you from stepping out of line, too. It's not just your average slightly rough fucking, no, it's the kind of fucking that will genuinely hurt you, rutting you over and over until your insides are burning from friction, your walls and cervix so completely bruised and abused you'll feel the  throbbing soreness with every movement for days, hands leaving massive bruises all across your hips and shoulders. Not that that's any excuse to not fuck more, no, no soreness will get you out of normal daily routine.
What body parts of their darling do they like the most?
He has a thing for breasts. They're very unique to humans, it's something he hasn't had the opportunity to see or understand, and he'll spend a lot of time just burying his face in them, licking and sucking. Big or small, doesn't matter. He just likes them.
One more nasty HC i can't not talk about
wait, you mean humans have sex... Facing each other? There are positions other than doggy? It's all he's ever seen. Porn and the internet don't exactly exist in this world. The whole concept blows his mind. He can fuck you AND see your face while he does? He'll nearly faint right then and there, and you'll regret bringing it up once you've gone numb from the repetitive pounding. He'll start asking you what else exists out there, his brain will start thinking of all the different ways to fuck he's never thought about. Once he learns you can ride him, he's in heaven, even if it's not so much riding so much as you sitting on his cock and him bouncing you up and down with such ferocity you can't even move your legs.
Speaking of things he doesn't know about, if you're smart, you make sure he doesn't find out about blowjobs. He'll love it, and it won't be a blowjob so much as him literally fucking your throat, grabbing your head and hair and just wrecking your mouth.
None of it is him trying to hurt you, really. He just doesn't understand how to be gentle. He might get better with time, but he's got a predator-born ferocity, a primal roughness that will always be a part of his nature.
(yes i did research on wolf courtship/mating rituals for this bc i suffer for my art)
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sitp-recs · 3 years
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Chasing Dragons by @the-sinking-ship
Harry/Draco (2021, Explicit, 100k)
Draco can think of only one way to outclass his pleat-front-khaki-wearing politician ex, and that’s by making headlines with an obvious upgrade. And who better to upstage the cheating bastard than the Saviour of the World, Harry Potter himself? Sure, Potter is a little rough around the edges in ripped jeans, a rumpled tartan shirt, and a permanent scowl. Draco reckons a haircut and a shave wouldn’t hurt, either. But Potter is also in need of a Healer willing to keep his secrets, and Draco is just the man for the job. It’s a perfectly reasonable exchange. They need only attend a couple parties arm-in-arm, smile nicely for the paparazzi, and tolerate each other long enough to convince everyone they’re smitten. In return, Draco will keep Potter alive and in one piece.
Happy happy birthday Sly! As soon as I saw yet another long fic by her I knew I had to find a way to check it out asap. I cleaned my schedule for two whole days right after Wireless reveals so I could dive deep into this fic and my god, it was a struggle to keep this rec in my drafts until today. I was absolutely obsessed within the first paragraphs because Sly’s world building and dialogue are just... unparalleled. She gives life to such a rich, detailed little universe and her characters are so fascinating and layered and human, I get completely immersed as if I’m right beside those two, watching them come together and make stupid decisions, and fake it til they can’t make it anymore, and it’s so freaking rewarding to follow their journey.
This was the first fic over 30k I’ve read after 4-5 months of short fics but despite the perfectly executed slow burn - nice and steady, full of character development and delicious sexual tension - Sly’s narrative here is so smooth and organic this doesn’t feel like 100k at all! I admit I was seduced by the tags, which include dragon tamer Harry in leather riding a bike (!!!), blood and injury, and Charlie Weasley appreciation 🔥 I didn’t need much more to jump right in but knowing Sly’s humour I wasn’t expecting being so emotionally involved with these characters.
Draco’s voice is a triumph, delightfully prickly and obnoxious, a hardworking Healer who still cares about looking good in social events, a scheming Slytherin in self-assured denial when it comes to Harry, but so full of personality and heart you can’t resist falling for him. And this hermit Harry took my breath away! Quiet, intense, confident, smart and reckless, he slowly worms his way inside Draco’s mind and breaks his defenses while patiently waiting for him to get the plot. One of my favorite things about this fic was getting to know him through Draco’s (very) biased eyes, which made Harry something wild and intriguing despite wearing his heart in his sleeve. His relationship with Charlie made my heart ache but jfc, I’m so here for his BAMF dynamics with Draco. They clash like a force of nature, dangerous, unhinged and self-indulgent in a way that made my body tingle. Speaking of, I was on the floor with the incredible smut Sly gifts us in this fic!! I’ve been aware of her A+ smut game since Stupid Love (her first Drarry fic and what a banger!) but the physical AND emotional combo here is really something else, I had to take a break afterwards because I was completely mindblown 🤯
(In fact I got so compromised by the smut scene alone that I felt compelled (a fabulous word to describe this fic really, from plot to characters) to write a single review on the smut chapter, basically incoherent babbling about how ruined I was now I’d read longfic porn as thrilling as Tales From the Special Branch by Femme: hot, sensual, intense and so unashamedly EXPLICIT, while still being unbearably tender and intimate, full of yearning, meaning and promise 😔🙌🏼)
But this fic is not only about brilliant characters and superb smut: there’s also such a clever and interesting discussion about Healing Magic and Muggle therapies, I loved seeing Draco as a badass Healer working to improve his field. I can’t rec this fic enough and I can promise it will be a special experience, you guys won’t be able to put it down for a second. Thank you so much for writing and sharing it, Sly! It’s been a real pleasure to follow your Drarry works since day one, and I’m so grateful you’re part of this community. I can’t wait to see what you’re planning next. I hope you’re having an excellent day! Happy birthday darling! 🎉💜
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bangtangalicious · 3 years
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cancelled (1) | myg, jjk
summary: you cheated on your boyfriend, one of the most sought after boys on campus, with the nerd from the back of the lecture hall. that’s not the whole story, but only you know that. now a video has leaked across and everyone is turning against you for hurting such a perfect s/o.
pairing: yoongi x reader, jungkook x reader
wordcount: 3k
genre: yandere!yoongi and nerd!jungkook exyandere!jungkook
established-relationship!au college!au cheating!au
warnings: reader discretion is advised. cheating, mentions of past dubcon activity, yandere behavior, guilt, slight oral (f and m receiving), reverse cowgirl, soft smut in a not so soft situation, manipulation, jungkook calls you his pretty baby, sexual harassment, yoongi is lowkey a creep in this, prostitution i guess but like...its not how you'd think, mentions of rape fantasy but it doesnt happen
twoshot: part 1 | part 2 | masterlist
They say that you let a good thing be. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Well in your almost perfect life, that hand was Min Yoongi. Your boyfriend of 2 years now. You met through family, he was an heir, and you were the daughter of a wealthy associate. He used to spend his spring breaks with your family back in high school. You recall fondly how he sneak out, begging you to cover for him, end up passed out drunk in some alley and calling you, scared for his life.
You saw the way he grew—no, blossomed into the amazing man he is. You both got accepted to the same prestigious university program, and it is here your love story truly began. Straight out of a movie, Yoongi did not realize how much he adored you until he saw you grinding your ass up on some random guy at a frat party. A few months of drama gave way to pure happiness.
Yoongi made quite a name for himself on campus. He was incredibly charming, was impressive in his studies, and was always around for a good time. He treated everyone with respect and had no enemies. You felt proud to be his girlfriend, by his side as he made his mark.
And he was so so good to you. While your start may have been driven by jealousy and rage, he made up for it entirely by taking you on weekend getaways, loving you sweetly, holding you while you cry and buying you food. You two were freakishly domestic, and you loved it. You were ready for the ring whenever he was. So blessed that you could wake up every morning in a pair of arms that held you like you were their whole world.
Unfortunately, paradise tends to be a destination never quite reached. You sat, curled up into your knees, trembling as you watched cruel comments pop up on a video.
ungrateful whore.
Yoongi deserves so much better
#y/nisoverparty
why would you even want to cheat on a catch like yoongi? jfc
You didn’t know what bothered you the most. Was it the comments? Was it your fucked out face in the video? You moans that clearly indicated pleasure? Was it the fact that you hurt a man you loved? Or was it the fact that he was still there, sitting right next to you and kissing your damp cheeks every time he saw a tear, mumbling into your neck that it was okay, that he wasn’t mad. Did you deserve someone so perfect?
“Aw baby” He coos at you, stroking your hair as your sobs got louder. You fell into his embrace, unsure of what to think or do. “Ssh…I’m not mad baby. It’s my fault I wasn’t there”
You didn’t know how true his words were. You didn’t know just how at fault he was.
Yoongi had been doing his work in your shared apartment in his private study which even you weren’t allowed to enter. The security footage of your lecture played on his monitor, but he was barely paying attention. He kept an eye on you, but it was getting unnecessary. You had been together for so long, he could trust you now. He sighed and zoomed into where you sat, whispering something to the person seated next to you. They giggled and slid their hand onto your thigh. Yoongi simply watched, a smirk playing on his lips. The whole campus knew you were his. No one would dare make a move on you. He made sure of it. It was the whole reason he made your relationship so visible. He had people’s respect, and so they would respect that you belonged to him.
The hand trailed up your thin yoga pants, cupping your core. You slapped the hand away and Yoongi grinned wider. He liked to test you every now and then.
Yoongi wired money to that man’s bank account through his phone. Now all you had to do was tell him what happened. There was no room for secrets between you two.
“I’m home babe” He heard you walk in. He popped a Xanax and gulped down a glass of water. He smiled at you sweetly, taking your bag and setting it down before attacking your neck with soft, breathless kisses.
“How was your day?” He asked quietly, “Anything interesting happen?”
“Nah. Pretty uneventful” He raised his eyebrows.
“Oh. Nothing at all?”
“Well” Yoongi’s eyes perked. Tell me someone harassed you baby. Just tell me. “I did try this amazing latte at the cafe in the Literature building.”
Why were you lying to him? Yoongi tilted his head. It wasn’t that big of a deal, it just made him wonder what else you hid from him. The little things. The little things that pile up.
Yoongi realized it had gone too far when he heard you gossiping with a few of your girl friends in the hallway of the Science Institute. “I just can’t believe he won’t fuck you. Doesn’t he know how many people would if they had a chance?”
“He seems so perfect but it’s almost like he’s just lacking the one key thing. Dick” They giggled. You rolled your eyes. You had confessed that you really did want to have sex. Yoongi wanted to save himself for marriage, but it was getting hard for you. When you brought this up with Yoongi he shut you down immediately.
“Baby” He fingered the purity ring on his pinky finger, “You know I can’t”
You had been frequently meeting with someone from one of your lab classes, a certain Jeon Jungkook. Yoongi didn’t love this, but he was acquainted with Jungkook, and knew that he likely was not a threat. The boy was not your type at all—his clunky glasses and sweater vests and his hair long and swept back, unlike Yoongi’s fresh blonde cut. Sometimes you wouldn’t tell him that you were with Jungkook, but he still knew. Nothing happened. But he still got irritated.
Unfortunately it was impossible to truly watch you all the time. After all, Yoongi was a social guy and had to make appearances frequently. He often wondered if you knew he watched you, so you waited to run off fuck yourself on Jungkook when he wasn't looking. He bit his lip until blood came out, raging at the prospect.
He wasn’t entirely wrong about you though. You did always feel pressure of behaving in a way that reflected well on him. So when everyone was looking at Yoongi, you were able to slouch your shoulders and relax. You would go to Jungkook’s house for a drink, with no ulterior motive on either of your end. You loved Yoongi. Jungkook respected him, and you. There was no issue.
So when Yoongi showed up at Jungkook’s doorstep a week later with a bag full of cash asking him to fuck his girlfriend, he was disgusted at first.
“E…excuse me?” He stammered, blushing. Yoongi squinted at him.
“Have sex with y/n the next time she is over.” He put on a show, “I just feel bad I cannot give her what she desires. I don’t want to deprive her of anything. I know she is fond of you so if you wouldn’t mind…she is very beautiful I can tell you that”
“I…that’s not…do you realize how insane this is?”
Yoongi shrugged, “It’s twenty-thousand dollars to fuck a pretty girl. What’s so bad?”
“Does she want this? D…do you have her consent to be asking me this?”
“Of course.” He chuckled giving a charming smile, “In fact, she has a bit of a fantasy that I was hoping you could indulge. I am not sure if she will go through with it but, she might try to resist at first, but really she wants to be used like a whore. She will love it, really.”
Jungkook gave him a skeptical look. “What the fuck? You want me to indulge your girlfriend’s rape fantasy? I’m not a fucking sadist”
“It’s not a rape fantasy. She just likes to struggle a bit but then she will get into it. She will want it”
“I can’t believe I am even entertaining this conversation, you need to leave”
“Forty-thousand.”
“Fuck off Yoongi. First of all, I am not even into y/n…” He paused.
“Oh please, she’s the finest thing in miles of here, you just haven’t considered her as available. That’s how I know I can trust you to do this for me.”
Jungkook gulped. That’s not quite it. He thought to himself. But the thought passed when Yoongi took off his watch and handed it to him.
“This is worth half a million dollars. Are we good?”
Jungkook just gaped at him.
“You have had sex before right?”
Oh yes he had. Once. He nodded slowly.
“Okay good. Please show her a good time and keep this between us”
“She knows right? She knows you’re asking me to do this?”
Yoongi grinned and pat Jungkook’s shoulder, “Oh baby boy, she’s the one who suggested it”
Jungkook found that a bit hard to believe.
What Yoongi didn’t know was that Jungkook already has had sex. With you. You didn’t know it was him, and it was long before you began dating Yoongi.
Jungkook had been obsessed with you as a high schooler, your pictures collaging the back of his bathroom door, a variety of your things—forgotten hoodies, dropped pens— messily shoved into the drawer of his desk.
It was an innocent phase at first. You were just so pretty. He couldn’t help the way his blood would rush between his legs every time you would glance in his general direction. He couldn’t help watching the way you outgrew your uniform skirt, almost breaking down in tears when you replaced it with a larger size. He would sneak out of class when you had PE to watch you run, and the way your breasts bounced in the tight top you wore.
You didn’t know him. Why would you? He was no way near your league. He worked extremely hard, dreaming to get into the same university as you on a full ride because his family could never afford it.
Jungkook would normally follow you home, obviously he just wanted to make sure you reached safe. You had been crying the entire walk home. Jungkook had to gather every ounce of self restraint not to go hug you and kiss you until you smiled again. He hated seeing you cry, and it made him want to die.
He was worried about you. You entered your beautiful home, but no one was there. What if you tried to harm yourself? Who would protect you?
He had snuck in through the back.
If anyone had been around, they may have heard a scream. But more likely the would have heard the cries of pleasure that followed.
That evening you told Yoongi you were going to work on stuff with Jungkook. You dressed modestly, not bothering to freshen up much. He watched through his cameras as you arrived into Jungkook’s tiny apartment. So much smaller than his, probably in more ways than one, he clicked his tongue in amusement.
“Hey Jungkook!” You hugged him lightly. He looked extremely uncomfortable which made Yoongi all the more amused.
Two people fucking who both don’t want to. What do you call that? Yoongi chuckled darkly.
“Listen y/n…I know that…I know I agreed but I just wanna make sure…” Jungkook could barely look you in the eye. As destiny would have it, you chose that moment to pull your hoodie off, giving Jungkook a flash of the underside of your breasts. He gulped. “You really don’t remember me do you…”
“What do you mean?” You were so confused. Jungkook licked his lips and crawled over where you were sitting on his couch, causing you to lay on your back. “What…hey what the fuck are you doing?”
He didn’t like your tone. It awoke a protective instinct in him. He stroked your hair and gazed deeply into your eyes. “How long has it been since you’ve had sex?”
You blushed furiously, face heating up dangerously fast at the sudden question. You shifted your neck away from him uncomfortably. “Um…I guess…3, maybe 4 years?”
“Tsk, poor girl.” He cooed, his finger grazed your cheek, “Alright, I’ll play along. You can let me know if you want me to stop okay?” He lowered himself enough to let his lips trace travel down the veins on your neck. He inhaled you, memories of innocent years coming back to him in floods.
You were frozen. His body radiated heat, his scent was giving you a high you couldn’t quite explain. You shouldn’t feel this way. You had sweet sweet Yoongi waiting for you at home. Sweet Yoongi who loved you, and was saving himself for you like the pure angel he is.
You looked up at the soft dark eyes of the man above you now. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of deja vu.
“Jungkook” You exhaled as his lips began kissing over your shirt, down the valley of your breasts, lifting your shirt so he could kiss your stomach. “I…I have a boyfriend”
“You’re really committed to this huh?” He chuckled, taking some of his fingers and slowly circling under the waistline of your shorts. You blinked a few times to try to react to what was happening but your body was overwhelmed. It had been so long since you were touched like this.
“Please” You said loudly, so loudly that Jungkook barely hears the “don’t do this” that followed in a whisper.
Jungkook thought back to the night you took his virginity. It hadn’t been on his agenda, he was content following you around and jacking off to your social media accounts every night. That night had changed him. He had realized then that he was messed up. He realized he needed help and he sought it out. A few years of therapy had done him good. He felt guilty about it for a while, but eventually had to grow and move on. He would never act like that again.
But here he was.
And there you were. Below him again. Begging for him through your actions and pushing him away with your words.
Emotions overwhelmed you. Your heart wrenched at the bitter guilt that you were doing the unthinkable. They very thing that you would condemn about other couples. How could you? How could you cheat? But your body was whimpering.
“I have a boyfriend. He’s so good to me. He’s so amazing, and I…I love” You let out a sob as he allowed his hips to roll into you, giving you friction you had craved for so long, “Jungkook…please” You knew he was reading between the lines. You knew he heard your consent, and that disgusted you.
“Mmm I know baby. I know you love him” Jungkook sighed as he pulled down your shorts, “Tell me about him baby. Tell me how much you love him” He began kissing your thighs, burying his face into your cunt.
“He’s so—ahhh” Jungkook took his tongue and pushed aside your underwear to lick a long stripe between your legs. “So good. So fucking…mmmmhhh” You squealed as Jungkook shoved his tongue inside you. The sensation was heavy in your core, but the sensation drove you wild. He flicked his tongue around, almost too easily being able to find all the right places to make you twitch and moan his name.
“Do you want my cock pretty baby? Hmm?” He whispered teasingly, his voice muffling against you as he continued to eat you out. You yelped as he sucked on your clit and nodded your head dumbly. “My little girl so desperate for cock she’d cheat on her boyfriend hm?” He came up for air, your juices messily spread across his lips, his eyes shot with lust.
“Don’t…don’t say that” You whined. Jungkook nodded before pulling off his sweater. You traced his muscles with your fingers, so defined and beautifully tan as he shrugged off his jeans. He took his glasses off and folded them carefully but you grabbed his hand.
“Keep them on…your glasses…” Jungkook’s eyes widened in amusement.
“Why” He teased.
“I like them. I like them a lot. You remind me of someone I used to like” Jungkook’s blood ran cold.
Did you remember?
Did you remember the way he had pinned you up against your kitchen wall back then? The way he left hickies all over your body, marking you as his. The way he had entered you for the first time, with you sprawled out across your dining table, then again on the counter tops, then again from behind pressed up against the window.
Did you remember how many times you both came? It was like a sex fest of hours and hours. In your mouth, on your face, on your tits and buried deep in your cunt, the condom barely surviving the pressure of his seed.
Did you remember the way you cried after in his arms, unable to walk? The way he held you and kissed you softly, apologizing.
Did you remember how he had given you pills so you would forget, hoping that you wouldn’t be sad any longer?
Jungkook had been too lost in thought to notice that you had pulled your own shirt off, leaving you in a sports bra, pulling his neck down so you could kiss him.
“Jungkook” You gasped as he finally regained consciousness and dragged his fingers across your pussy.
“Will you ride me baby?” His eyes twinkled in his request and you were more than happy to indulge him. Jungkook switched positions with you. You reverse cowgirled him, unknowingly, the perfect position for Yoongi to see all of you as you fucked yourself silly onto Jungkook’s cock.
You lowered yourself down on him slowly, savoring the stretch that you had almost forgotten you could ever feel. Your fingers could never give you a sensation quite like this. Jungkook shut his eyes and tried to savor the feeling.
“Pretty…pretty baby” He cooed, sitting up so he could nibble your shoulder and hold your hips as he bounced you slowly on his cock.
“Tell me something” He exhaled, feeling himself slowly approaching his orgasm, the feeling of your soft, warm walls around him too much to bear, “Did you want this because of me…or did you just need cock?”
You continued thrusting yourself back into him, the firm hold of his hands on you giving you an arousing sense of comfort. You wiggled your ass, liking the way he would grunt when you did.
“Did you want me baby? Did you do this for me?”
You cried out suddenly, feeling a long awaited orgasm overwhelming your senses. Jungkook’s grip on you tightened as he tried to keep fucking you through it, your body going limp, twitching erraticly.
“So pretty…my sweet sweet girl” He turned your head to kiss your lips, slipping his tongue in and relishing in the love you poured in through your actions. He caressed your breasts and continued to thrust up into you.
“Come inside me” You exhaled softly.
“No y/n…that wouldn’t be right” Jungkook was reminded of the eerily intimidating presence of the man who was paying him to do this. He slowly brought his thrusts to a halt before helping you up off of him, his cock still painfully erect. “I can finish myself”
You pouted, watching him drill his graze into your naked presence, violently stroking his cock. He licked his lips shamelessly.
“I don’t love you anymore y/n” He whispered too softly for you to hear, “I’m over you. I’m over this. This doesn’t mean anything—AAAAhhh” Your mouth was on his cock and that was all it took for him to come harder than he ever had.
He took you into his arms, wrapping them around you and kissing your face over and over again, caressing your hips and trying to relax your muscles so you wouldn’t be sore.
You reached for your phone as Jungkook began to fill the silence.
“Yoongi seems really great. He clearly cares about you a lot. I’m really happy for you, genuinely” He says softly, “I’m honestly really impressed he let this happen”
But you didn’t hear him, all you could hear was your heart drumming loudly in your ears as you saw the stream of notifications on your phone. Your heart dropping like a bomb when you saw the single message you dreaded more than anything.
yoongi: what’s this? <link>
And linked was a live stream of the events that had just transpired.
masterlist                                                       next----->
A/N: im just cackling at #y/nisoverparty HAHA um stream film out! woohoo
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cinnaminsvga · 4 years
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Sweeter than Strawberries | Jungkook
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→ summary: at euphoria bakery, seasonal changes also bring seasonal menu items. when you find out that your favorite strawberry shortcake milkshake was phased out after the end of summer, it takes only one puppy eyed look from you for jeon jungkook to make it for you anyway—just don’t tell his boss about it, alright?
→ genre: bakery!au, s2l, fluff → warnings: none unless you count the fact that i’m writing shy!jungkook again :^D, we love mutual pining in this house ex dee → words: 4.5K → a/n: this was commissioned by @ihatemathanal​!! i was super stoked to write this bc it’s really cute and sometimes it’s nice to just write happy fluffy things every once in a while (aka zee is turning into a fluff writer jfc) it got a lil longer than it was supposed to, but that’s bc i got carried away lol anyway i hope you guys enjoy!! (ps: this also works for the bgw bingo so... tyg for s2l fics!! let’s get it!!)
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For the most part, the beginning of autumn is usually your favorite time of the year. When the tree leaves begin to yellow and the air gains a significantly colder bite, this signifies the end of pit stains and sweaty thighs and the start of sweater paws and chapped lips. Above all, you are most excited, of course, for an excuse to gorge yourself on steaming mugs of hot chocolate, paired with delicious mountains of warm gooey brownies.
For the most part, these are all things that often get you excited for the coming chill. What you do not think to remember, however, is that while these seasonal changes bring more good than bad, there still remains a little snag: a small oversight, if you will. As businesses all over the world begin the annual transition to the colder months, so does your favorite bakery across the street from your university. After all, summer ingredients grow scarcer as the year nears its end, so it’s understandable for bakeries to switch up their menu to keep up with both the supply and demand.
What does any of this have to do with anything? Well, long story short—
Your favorite strawberry shortcake milkshake is about to get phased out. No, scratch that—it’s already been phased out, right from under your very nose, no less!
You shouldn’t have been surprised, really. You have always known it was a specialty drink; your best friend had even been the one to introduce it to you just near the end of your summer classes:
“This is Euphoria Bakery,” Namjoon had said with a smile, waving cheerily at the two boys manning the till. You heard him chuckle in amusement when your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, staring longingly at the sweet treats and baked goods lining the display case.
Namjoon had stolen your attention away, however, when he pointed to the chalkboard menu on the wall. As it turned out, the bakery also doubled as a cafe, serving the usual coffees and teas while also making the occasional specialty drink for different seasons or holidays. The chalkboard was decorated beautifully, the menu items written out in neat cursive with tiny little doodles littering its margins. On one of the boards, there was a new drink item being advertised in bold pink letters—a great summer treat!—or so it said.
“Jungkook-ssi, can you get me and Y/N a strawberry shortcake milkshake? Extra whipped cream for me, please!” Namjoon called out to one of the boys, startling the younger of the two. The boy, Jungkook, must have been busy fiddling with the cash register that he hadn’t noticed your arrival.
“N-Namjoon-hyung? Sorry, I was just busy counting the money—” Jungkook stopped short in his speech, his tongue getting caught in his mouth when his eyes landed directly on you. He had made a strangled sound, like he had swallowed his spit too quickly and was struggling to regain his composure. “H-Hello?”
You realized belatedly that he must have been greeting you, as you had been distracted by his fidgetiness. His nervousness was cute, if a little bit contagious; you couldn’t help feeling anxious too, like your heart was missing every other beat, even though you had no reason to be. “Hello! My name is Y/N. It’s my first time coming here, but Namjoon says your new summer menu item is really good? I wanted to try it out for myself.”
Jungkook nodded, still staring wide-eyed at you as if in a trance. You expected him to start... well. You weren’t an expert on how bakeries or cafes are run, but you were pretty sure he should’ve started doing something after you had spoken, perhaps ring up your order on the register, or start working on your drinks. Instead, he’s still frozen in place, like he’d somehow short-circuited within the last two minutes.
It seemed you weren’t the only one who noticed his odd behavior because the man working with him suddenly pushed Jungkook to the side, a brief smirk flashing across his face before it was quickly replaced by a more subdued, professional smile.
“Sorry about him. He’s usually my best baker, but sometimes he can get a little... distracted when he’s confronted with sweet things,” the man said nonchalantly, but it seemed that his innocent-sounding comment had embarrassed Jungkook greatly.
“Jimin-hyung!” Jungkook whined, stomping his foot not unlike a bunny. If you squinted a little bit, you could definitely see the resemblance.
Namjoon, who had been quietly watching everything unfold, chose that moment to pipe up. “Oh, I see. I didn’t know you had a type, but after thinking about it—” Namjoon shot a surreptitious glance at you, before turning back to Jungkook with a teasing grin, “—I can definitely see why.”
At the time, you had no idea what was going on, mostly confused as to why Jungkook had suddenly become so red-faced while Namjoon and Jimin giggled like a couple of high school girls. It seemed like you were somehow the main reason for his embarrassment, so you were quick to poke Namjoon in the stomach, effectively silencing him.
“Hey! Stop teasing the poor boy. He’s just being nice,” you said, pointing a soft smile back at Jungkook. “Sorry about him. I’m sure you’re an excellent baker, judging from how wonderful and cute all these cakes on the display look.” Somehow, your praise had only made Jungkook’s cheeks brighten even further. He cleared his throat as if to say something in response, before changing his mind and scuttling away to the back room instead.
“I’m going to start making your milkshake! D-don’t mind me!” He called out from behind the door, causing Jimin to finally break down into raucous giggles, nearly doubling over from his own mirth.
“Aish, that kid. He never learns, huh…” Jimin sighed, but the smile on his face is kind—the sort of fond look an older brother might have for his kid brother. He turned back to you and Namjoon with that lingering softness as he rang the two of you up, before chatting idly with you as you waited for Jungkook to finish making your drinks.
“I’ve never seen you around, Y/N-ssi. Jungkook—sorry, I meant I definitely would’ve noticed you if I did. You go to the same university as Namjoon-ssi, right?” Jimin asked, flipping a pen between his fingers with incredible dexterity. You were slightly distracted by that, faintly jealous of how his short fingers could somehow manage such a feat.
“I—yeah, I do. I’m assuming you’re also a student?”
“Yep. I actually met Namjoon-ssi when we took that one music theory class together. I was handing out flyers for this bakery after class and he happened to be one of the first people to actually come,” he said, winking at Namjoon. You watched with much interest when your friend turned a faint shade of pink, his hand coming up behind his neck—a signature tick of his whenever he was feeling shy or nervous.
“I-It was nothing… I mean, your seasonal drinks are always so good! I remember your old snowman-shaped donuts with the raspberry filling? I still dream of it sometimes,” Namjoon sighed, eyes going glassy for a moment.
Jimin laughed, his eyes crinkling into cute little crescents. “Oh, stop it! I remember how you’d come here even after we stopped serving that donut and you’d beg us to make them again.”
“And yet you never did, even though I know you have the ingredients to make them,” Namjoon pouted, but there’s endearment dancing in his expression.
You chuckled, shaking your head in disbelief. “I never pegged Namjoon as a sweet-tooth guy, so this is honestly all a very big surprise to me. I should be pumped for this milkshake then, huh? Hopefully, you aren’t just hyping it up and I’ll end up disappointed.”
Before either Namjoon or Jimin could retort, Jungkook had reappeared from the back room with two large cups in hand, almost tripping over his untied apron string but managing to get to the counter in one piece.
“Here you go. I hope you won’t be disappointed when you try it,” he said, gaze averted downwards when he hands you your cup. Your fingers grazed each other for a second, nearly causing both of you to drop the drink like it was on fire.
“S-sorry,” you laughed it off, feeling your ears get a little red from your blunder. You pointedly ignored Namjoon’s arched brow, no doubt enjoying your sudden shyness. Without waiting for him to get his own cup, you casually tear off the straw wrapper and take your first sip of the drink.
“So?” Jungkook asked after a while, watching with bated breath as you take a good gulp of the milkshake. “How is it? Is it worth the hype?” You don’t speak for a moment, further aggravating the two bakers as you carefully chewed on the bits of strawberry in the drink.
“This—” you said, speaking slowly for increased dramatic effect. You could hear Namjoon groan beside you, used to your need for unnecessary anticipation. Even as you paused for a moment longer, you could already feel the smile creeping up your face, unable to completely hide your giddiness. “—is fantastic. Show-stopping. Best thing since sliced bread! I could live on this shit alone.”
Jungkook released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, chuckling in relief as you began to completely devour the treat in mere minutes. “I’m… really glad you like it,” he said with a wide, toothy grin. You were so immersed in your drink that you missed the way he sighed softly, hand gently cradling his chest where his heart would be.
Namjoon had taken his own sip as well, sighing dreamily as the creamy and sweet flavor overtook his palate. “Truly the best drink in existence. If I was a Twitch streamer or some shit, I’d promote this regularly for free.”
His comment made Jimin giggle softly, but his gaze is trained on something else entirely. “I’m flattered, but maybe don’t promote Y/N’s cup, over here. We don’t typically have strawberries and hearts doodled all over our cups,” he said, smirking slyly.
Lo and behold, your cup did have small doodles littering its sides whereas Namjoon’s was just a plain white paper cup. “Oh,” you said, blushing furiously when you finally noticed. Your flush was nothing compared to the one on Jungkook’s cheeks, however. The two of you refused to make eye contact after that, both of you trying (and failing) to silence the amused snickers of your respective friends.
Despite that slightly embarrassing (and heartwarming) experience, that had marked the start of your love for the tiny bakery and their special strawberry shortcake milkshake. You returned to Euphoria Bakery as often as you could throughout the summer, even going to visit it without Namjoon most of the time. You would even occasionally go out of your way to visit the bakery, even after your summer classes had ended and there was really no reason for you to be around the area.
It also didn’t hurt that the boy behind the counter was especially cute, with his big doe eyes and melodic laughter that always got your heart beating erratically in your chest. It hadn’t taken long for you to admit to yourself that you had a not-so-tiny crush and every visit to the bakery only made you fall deeper for him.
Namjoon has assured you that Jungkook clearly has a crush on you too, but you’re quick to shut him down. It is one thing to be shy and awkward around a girl and another to have a crush on the aforementioned girl. As you visited the bakery more and more, you do notice that Jungkook is more reserved when it comes to other female clientele, although, dare you hope? He does seem a little bit more… nervous, when he talks to you, but that could be your lovesick eyes playing tricks on you.
Never mind the fact that he only ever seems to leave cute doodles on your cups alone, but that could just be a coincidence, right? After all, he can hardly hold a conversation with you when you try to speak with him, always eager to rush to the backroom to make your drink.
Your visits usually consist of making idle chit chat with Jimin after greeting both him and Jungkook. The younger boy often dips the moment he sees you through the glass door, automatically going to prepare your favorite summer treat without even having to ask for your order. He never stays to stick around long enough to make conversation, as he eventually excuses himself to do some chore or another. During one of your trips, you tentatively asked Jimin if Jungkook was avoiding you, to which the blonde boy just laughed heartily at your query.
“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. He’ll come around eventually; he’s just nervous. Don’t tell him I told you this, but…” he trails off, peeking over his shoulder to make sure Jungkook wouldn’t accidentally overhear him. When he turns back to you, the smirk on his face is equal parts amused and mischievous. He looks a little impish, though you aren’t sure if he’d take that too kindly. “Jungkook always stares out the door, waiting for you to arrive. I’ve caught him red-handed far too many times for it to be a coincidence.”
Your cheeks flush warmly at his words but don’t say anything after that. You suppose all you can do is wait for him to start warming up to you eventually, and you hope the day comes sooner as the summer days grow shorter and shorter.
Of course, that day does come eventually, but probably not on the day you wished it would happen.
Like all good things, summer comes to its close and so does the summer menu options offered at Euphoria Bakery. Jimin had already told you a week beforehand that your favorite strawberry shortcake milkshake would get phased out as soon as July hit, but you refused to listen. You had hoped that as his regular customer and friend, perhaps Jimin would make an exception and prolong the milkshake’s lifetime for your sake, but it seems that Jimin has made it clear that friendship and business are two separate entities that he will not allow to coincide.
“Please Jimin? Just one more time? I’ll even settle for a small size,” you beg, your entire body draped over the cashier counter like the pathetic plebeian that you are. Thankfully, since you have made it a habit to pass by the bakery when it’s close to closing time, there aren’t any other patrons left to judge your pitiful display. Unthankfully, that also means Jimin is free to flick you on the forehead with no holds barred, leaving a large red welt where his finger hits.
“I already told you that I won’t budge, not even if you licked my Balenciagas. Besides, we’re out of strawberries anyway.” Jimin huffs, rolling his eyes at your pained whines as you grasp your head in agony. “Oh stop it, will you? I didn’t even hit you that hard.”
“I beg to differ, hyung.” Jungkook pipes up, startling both you and Jimin. Jungkook is usually content to wiping down the glass displays or tables while he passively listens to the two of you bicker, humming occasionally to indicate that he’s still listening, so it comes as a small surprise whenever he does decide to speak up. He must have noticed this too, as his ears quickly begin to redden as he scrambles to finish his sentence. “I-I mean, hyung might have small hands, but his finger flicks are no joke. You could break someone’s skull with that thing.”
“Who are you calling small, huh?” Jimin growls, but the playful smirk on his face tells you that he’s just teasing. He pulls Jungkook in a headlock, who surprisingly doesn’t seem all that bothered by the fact that Jimin is actively trying to block his windpipe with his strong forearms. “Take it back!”
“Never,” Jungkook wheezes, effortlessly removing himself from Jimin’s grip. He dusts himself off, not even breathless. “Also, why’d you lie to Y/N like that? We still have strawberries in the back. How else would we make our strawberry jam tarts?”
Jimin squawks indignantly, folding his arms. “How dare you sell out our company secrets! I could fire you for that!”
Jungkook scoffs, bumping Jimin with his hip. Jungkook must also not know his own strength, because he accidentally causes Jimin to stumble a few steps back, nearly toppling over one of their bread racks. “You’re joking. If you fired me, no one would be able to make the bagels in the morning because you never know how to proof them correctly.”
“Slander!” Jimin hisses, pinching Jungkook’s side in retaliation. You and Jungkook laugh at his childish pouts, but the older boy can’t hide his own mirth for too long. “Fine. You can stay. But you,” he points at you this time, eyes narrowing with suspicion. “You better not seduce my boy over here to make your strawberry shortcake milkshake. I have eyes and ears everywhere.” He drags his finger to the corner of the walls, where there is—
“There’s nothing there?” You follow where he’s pointing, but all you can see is a stray cobweb that Jungkook must have missed while dusting this morning. “Am I supposed to be looking at something?”
“Jimin is thinking of installing surveillance cameras soon. He’s convinced that someone is trying to steal his banana cream pie recipe.” Jungkook shrugs. He slings an arm around Jimin’s shoulder, glaringly delighted when their height difference becomes even more apparent while he stands close to him. “Anyway, I promise I won’t get ‘seduced’ by her, or whatever you want to call it. Why don’t you head home early for tonight? I’ll close up and I’ll try to convince Y/N to try our other pastries as a replacement.”
You open your mouth to try and protest, but Jungkook sends you a cheeky wink, making sure that his boss doesn’t catch him in the act. Bemused but interested to see what he’s up to, you decide to keep quiet and wait for him to continue.
“Don’t try and think you’re being slick here, buddy,” Jimin says, closing in on Jungkook’s personal space by pressing his chest against his. “If I see that you break the bakery code and serve her that drink… There will be consequences.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, sighing dramatically as he gently pries the smaller man away from him. “Yeah, yeah. I got you. No funny business, I promise. Now get out of here, hyung. Leave the rest to me.”
Jimin gives him one last firm look before squinting warily at you, lips pursed tightly. “No seducing,” he repeats, wagging his finger at you. He unties the apron around his neck, throwing it haphazardly at the coat hanger on the back door where his jacket was hanging. He folds it over his arm and points at the corner of the ceiling with his free hand once more before exiting through the front entrance, the soft bells hanging above the doorway tinkling in his wake.
When he’s gone, you release a breath that you hadn’t realized you had been holding. “Well, that was easier than expected. I didn’t think you’d be able to get him to leave. He must trust you a lot, huh?”
Jungkook shrugs. “Nah. He’s just lazy. He hates closing the bakery and will jump at any opportunity to go home early.”
You nod. “Seems like him.” There’s a beat of silence. “So… How much seducing am I gonna have to do to get my milkshake, huh?”
Like you guessed, Jungkook immediately turns red at your words, spluttering and stammering over his spit for a few seconds before managing to come up with a reply. “O-oh, there’s no need for that. I was gonna make the drink for you anyway.”
“But what about the quote-unquote consequences?” you ask, still worried that you might be getting Jungkook in trouble. You’d rather have your arm cut off than have him get punished, no matter how small it might be.
“No need to worry about that. Jimin might pretend to be a prickly old man sometimes, but he’s mostly just full of hot air,” Jungkook snorts, shaking his head in amusement. “He’ll just make me treat him to some skewers or something. He’s just teasing.”
“If… If you say so? I just really don’t want him to get angry with you…” you say, voice turning small as you tried to reign your embarrassment in. “I know I made a fool of myself just moments ago and begged like a baby for the milkshake, but I was just exaggerating…”
“Something tells me that you aren’t, but let’s pretend for your sake that you are,” Jungkook says. You huff indignantly at his teasing, but you’re more overjoyed by the sight of his cute bunny smile. You had only seen it in passing a few times in the past, but seeing it directed at you is an entirely different experience. Because of you, your mind helpfully supplies.
He heads over to the backroom to begin preparing your drink, but he keeps the door open this time so you can see him even from behind the counter. You can mostly only see the large industrial ovens and bread racks filled to the brim with all sorts of pastries proofing for the night, but you do catch a glimpse of the sole blender near the back. Jungkook grabs the glass jar first and then walks over to the fridge just out of your sight, most likely to grab the ingredients needed for your milkshake.
The bakery is mostly silent, save for the sound of Jungkook moving and assembling everything. You rack your brain for some sort of conversation starter, as the atmosphere between the two of you has begun to return to its usual awkward state as you skirt around each other, unsure of where either of you stands. You might have known him for a while now, but today is the most you’ve ever spoken to him and the tension is palpable.
“So.” You clear your throat, heart beating a mile a minute in your chest. “I… guess this is going to be the last time I have this drink, huh?”
The sound of Jungkook chopping on the cutting board pauses for a second. You can only see his left shoulder from where you’re standing, but you can see it tense even then. “I… I mean, will you stop coming over to the bakery if it is the last time?”
There are so many things you want to say all at once, but the words somehow get caught in your throat. You want to say that you love coming to the bakery to see them (though it’s mostly Jungkook if you’re being honest) and that the strawberry shortcake milkshake had just been an excuse to visit for a while now. You want to keep visiting for as long as they’ll have you—but you don’t know how to say it without hot humiliation running down your spine. You don’t want to weird him out by confessing to him all of a sudden. And so, you clam up, not knowing how to respond.
When Jungkook throws in all the ingredients in the blender, he doesn’t turn it on immediately. He tilts his head to the side, not fully looking at you but giving you a view of his beautiful side profile. You see his Adam’s apple bob for a moment, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he speaks. “Because… If that’s how it’s going to be, then maybe… buying a couple of skewers for Jimin won’t be so bad.”
You freeze. “What? Are you saying that...”
“I’ll keep making the drink for you, even if it’s not on the menu anymore?” Jungkook finishes, turning fully to face you. There’s a shy grin on his face, coupled with the ever-present pink flush high on his cheekbones. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. We’ll have to be sneaky about it, though. You’ll have to come to the bakery only when I’m closing so that he doesn’t catch us but otherwise…” He scratches the tip of his nose, looking embarrassed. “If… If you’re fine doing that, I mean.”
It feels like an eternity before you can remember how to function like a regular human being again. Your insides feel like molten lava and you’re certain that your internal organs have begun to self-destruct right after that super-effective hit from Jeon Jungkook, super baker boy extraordinaire. It’s mind-blowing how effortlessly cute he can be, making you realize belatedly that his quiet demeanor over the past few weeks had been a blessing and not a curse. If he had been this sweet with you from the get-go, you’d surely be melted butter on a sidewalk by now.
“I would love you—I mean, I would love it if you did that for me, actually.” You stammer, resisting the urge to punch yourself in the tit. You’re thankful for the lack of mirrors at the bakery, for you are positive that you must look like the devil’s blazing red testicles at this point.
“Great,” Jungkook smiles softly. He turns the blender off, pouring your drink into a paper cup. “Oh, before I forget…” He grabs a marker from the small tin can near the cash register, and you watch as he quickly scribbles a few hearts around the circumference of the cup. “There we go. Now it’s done.”
As Jungkook hands your drink to you, you’re hit with a moment of déjà vu when your fingers brush just like the first time you had met. You sense the same familiar shock of electricity when you touch, but instead of pulling away like before, Jungkook surprises you for the third time that day.
When he’s sure that you have a secure grip on your cup, he grabs your free hand with his, unfurling your fingers until he can get a hold of your pinky. He curls his pinky into yours, linking them together with a bashful smile on his lips. “There. Now we pinky promised to each other.”
“Y-yes. Of course,” you mumble, giggling lightly when he still refuses to let go. “I pinky promise.”
.
.
.
Five minutes away from Euphoria Bakery, Jimin sits quietly in his parked car, his figure hunched over the small screen of his phone as he chuckles loudly to himself. There is a tiny video of two people, a boy and a girl, with their hands held together. Despite the quality being grainy and warped, Jimin needs no confirmation as to who those people are; he’s always known, after all.
“All according to keikaku.” He whistles happily, already salivating at the thought of all the skewers Jungkook will have to buy for him.
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millers-planet · 3 years
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Cal Kestis NSFW Alphabet
A/N: literally what am i doing writing this. i have tests i should be studying for. jfc this took so long to write, too.
warnings: self-explanatory
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Cal definitely wants to just hold you, he wants to talk about anything and everything with you. He’ll plant kisses on your lips and on the top of your head as you fall asleep, if you do. If you want a little bit of space, so be it. But if it was up to him, he’d just lay there for hours and talk to you
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Thighs! I’ve talking about this briefly in my other NSFW headcanon, but he really does love your thighs. He will always have a hand on them, always. He loves being between your thighs, whether that’s his head, hips, or hand.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
He’d prefer to finish inside of you, if he could and if it was possible. It makes less of a mess and being inside of you is the best feeling to him. Whether it’s in your mouth or in your pussy is entirely up to you. He’s a simple man with simple needs.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He’s had fantasies of just watching you get yourself off. Doesn’t matter if it’s having you do it in front of him or if it’s watching you when you’re not aware of him watching. For some reason, this just strikes a nerve in him. Seeing your perfect body in that state from a farther view means everything to him.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Cal isn’t that experienced in this part of the relationships. While he is a quick learner, he hasn’t had any experience, which is what shocks you when you two decide to do it for the first time. He definitely hides his inexperience well. 
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)
The classic missionary or you on top of him, riding him. He prefers these because seeing your face as you reach climax is what get’s him off the most. Knowing that he did that, that he’s causing you such pleasure in that very moment. This is him being narcassitic or anything, but he can safely say that he caused this moment by himself, all him. If anything, it gives him reassurance.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Unless someone says something stupid or something stupid happens, he’s fairly relaxed. He’s neither serious or goofy, rather a safe middle-ground. Sometimes if you make a snide remark, he’ll make a funny one in return. 
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Cal keeps himself as groomed as he can, when he can. This being said, sometimes it is a little bit longer, but he never prefers it like this. 
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He is constantly praising you. Complimenting you, kissing you, running his hands along your body, and just being very physically affection and intimate. I’m like 98% confident he totally has a praising kink.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Before stumbling across you, he wouldn’t masturbate as much, simply because he didn’t have the time, but he definitely did. However, whenever he met you, he made the time to be as intimate as possible with you. Cal will always find an excuse to get you two alone if it’s been awhile and one if you is antsy.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Like I brought up in the other HC, he probably would choke you. Not entirely adding pressure and restricting bloodflow, but resting his hand on your throat, occasionally moving his fingers to readjust his grip and remind you of his presence there. Unless you tell him to add pressure, he wouldn’t do it on his own.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
In private and in a bed. At risk for being caught is a total mood killer for him. When he can get you alone in the Mantis, it’s relieving and the best. When he can just ensure a private time, no interruptions, no one coming in, and nothing in the way.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Seeing you happy and carefree puts him in the mood. Whenever it’s just the two of you, not focusing on the impending doom lurking ahead, it makes him just want to hold you so close and do everything he can with you. It’s quite romantic, really.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Hurting you is something he would never do. Making you bleed, bruising you, etc., is just stuff that would turn him off. Seeing you in pain, even if it was pleasurable, just doesn’t sit right with him. Choking you is already toeing the line.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
He’s always been a selfless person if you catch my drift. Eating you out and feeling your legs shake around his body is something he can never get enough of, either. Cal caught onto this skill quicker than anything else, which really caught you off guard.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
It depends. Cal definitely prefers to just savor the moment, but, if adrenaline is rushing and your both just really asking for it, it could be fast and rough. Most of the time though, it’s slow and sensual, really sweet moments.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Like i said earlier, he prefers for you guys to take your time. However, if Cere and Greez are on their way back or went off to do something, he would be okay with doing a quickie every once in a while.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Cal loves experimenting with you. Trying new styles, maybe some kinky stuff, but usually not that often since you guys don’t really have time to do it that often, anyways. Risks at being caught are also something he tries to avoid at all costs, but we’ve already covered this.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Tbh i feel like he could go quite a few rounds, but most of the time you guys would be lucky to get like two in. Cal always makes you first priority though, making sure that you always finish first if time does get cut short.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
I don’t really have much to say on this other than that he prefers to get you off with his own body, making you finish with another object is something he’d try if you wanted to, but his first choice is to always use his hands, his mouth, his cock, or hell, maybe even having you get off from just riding his thighs. (yup i now firmly believe Cal is into thigh-riding)
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Cal is the BIGGEST little shit. In theory, if you guys had all the time in the galaxy, he’d tease the shit out of you. He’d touch you so gently, dragging kisses out, dragging out movements, and just getting on your last nerve. He would love to just have you melt underneath him when you beg, but since this isn’t really an option, he’ll instead make snide and dirty remarks throughout the day. He’ll barely graze your skin where it’s super sensitive, make kisses last a little longer than they should, and overall making you really desperate for him by the time you two can be alone. 
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He’s just barely loud enough for you to hear, it’s never loud moans and groans, just quiet little grumbles in the back of his throat. As he gets closer to finishing, he gets a little louder, not by much, but just a little.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Thigh-riding. Yes. yes. yes. If he was being a little shit one night and was in the mood to tease you, he’d force you to get off from riding his thighs alone. Occasionally, he’d bounce it or move it align with your movements, but it’d be mainly up to you. He would just stare at your hips as they moved so perfectly and watching your face change as you slowly got yourself off.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
I don’t really think there’s any special about him in this aspect, he’s quite average. In no way is he lacking though, he’s packing, but just the average amount of packing.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He could go whenever, but it’s usual after intense missions or after just dying probably. Just whenever he has a lot of adrenaline is what really makes him want to get going.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
If it was a long day, he’d fall asleep a few minutes after. However, if you wanted to stay up, he’d talk your ear off. Like i said earlier, if he’s gonna stay up with you, he’s gonna want to just talk to you about everything. This man is in love wit you, he has so much to say and so little time.
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makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet
Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.
so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk
anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are
OH NO HE’S CUTE
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HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD
“thanks for being all right” the fuck
who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this
how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here
guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready
anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY
LMAOOOOO
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listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things
anyways!!
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FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw
STOP BEING CUTE
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THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES
and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT
OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.
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BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE
YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY
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I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code
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:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you
FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION
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but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji
so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you
oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck
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actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance
OH MY GOD
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NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE
WOW DABI
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I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM
LOL NEVERMIND
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gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped
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(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)
HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE
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WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT
btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun
OOF
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excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE
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ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??
AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???
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and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it
are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??
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that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!
anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights
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I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol
so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...
OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH
Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON
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NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”
EXCUSE ME WHAT
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interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!
looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now
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you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols
anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top
and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way
anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”
omfg. YOU GUYS
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DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD
ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM
BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE
IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS
HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO
LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!
so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”
OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD
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ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE
AHHHHH
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OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH
lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto
-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --
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BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC
y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...
  °˖✧◝( ̄▿ ̄)◜✧˖°
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fuck-customers · 3 years
Note
Fuck managers! I scheduled a surgery for mid june in mid april, plenty of time in advance. Also not for anything serious, but definitely something thats been bugging me for almost the entire year so far and has already caused me to miss work, so my supervisors at least vaguely know about it. Also something that will definitely take at least a week or two of recovery so I had to take some time off for it. Our time off request system is online and tells us what days are blackout days and can’t be requested off. Usually that’s reserved for holidays. The days I scheduled said nothing and didn’t seem to be blacked out which was why I picked those time in the first place. You can see where this is going
Fast forward about a week, I’m at work and one of my supervisors asks me to look at the schedule real quick, and she goes “so I denied the vacation days you took in June for father’s day weekend and the blackout days around it, but the rest are good to go :)” Now my managers are actually pretty understanding, and again I had completely forgotten that I had scheduled it over fathers day which was definitely on me, but again there was nothing indicating it on the request system either so I figured they would be fine! I work in a bakery so holidays do tend to be busy but...not fathers day. Most people get their dads steak and shit like that, not fruity colorful cakes (although they definitely should). I’ve worked there for nearly 5 years and fathers day has NEVER been especially notable in terms of sales.
So assuming my boss would be cool and help me work something out if I told her, I was like “oh, I actually scheduled surgery for that time.” Again, usually they’re cool and understanding and actually work around you very well.
Well not today! She was kinda just like “yeah?” and stared at me blankly. So kind of taken aback I was like “uh...I’ll see when I can...reschedule it for I guess?” To which she was like “sounds good!”
Now I had picked the days I did specifically because I’m going on a work trip in mid may and won’t be back until the 31st. Fathers day is the 20th of June and I scheduled surgery for the 11th. So I asked her “I won’t be back from the work trip until May 31st and the only other available surgery date was June 4th...instead of my current date y’all think you would be okay with me just...being gone for a whole month? Or back for a couple days between the 31st and 4th just to leave again?” And keep in mind, literally EVERY time I’ve taken time off in the last year, they’ve asked me to either just not do it or have texted or called me trying to beg me to come in. Every. Time. I know this won’t be any different, and I don’t wanna toot my own horn but I do good work and they STRUGGLE when I’m not there which is exactly why I asked this. But of course she was just like “no yeah that’s fine, hell, just take the whole month off!”
It kind of just ended there but the more I thought about it the more pissed I got. Like the schedule is already out until mid may and I’m not ?? prepared for surgery like right now even if that was an option. Then the work trip, and then doing the surgery on the 4th might not even be enough recovery time before the fathers day blackout starts! I’m not gonna be in pain and risk my recovery for that shit! Not to mention doing it after is out of the question since 4th of July follows so soon after and that’s DEFINITELY a much busier holiday for us. I don’t want to keep waiting to fix this problem and the date I picked really is the best option without pushing it out until almost AUGUST when it’s been bothering me since JANUARY. And I do feel bad for scheduling it over a holiday but again I got no indication that it was blacked out! It’s hard enough already to schedule anything longer than 2 weeks without accidentally doing it over a holiday, at least this holiday isn’t all that busy!
Not to mention the fact that that kind of behavior is on brand for her. She acts super nice and like I said is actually really cool and understanding and is totally cool with working with you with this kind of stuff...unless she’s in a bad mood. She’s very much the type to take shit out on us and sometimes she’s super weird and stubborn and vindictive and it’s just dependent on her mood and how shitty she feels like being to you that day. And since she’s a supervisor she just gets away with it. Earlier that day even my bf had texted me like “hey, (supervisor) is in a bad mood jsyk” and when I come in what does she do? Use her authority to be weird to her employees! She’s always been like that and I have stories on stories about her, this just really rubbed me the wrong way.
Anyways this story does actually have a happy ending! I continued my day and had just resolved to having to reschedule surgery and figured I would exact revenge by leaving for my trip and just staying away as long as I possibly could, when my team lead comes RUNNING up to me and goes “oh my god, do NOT reschedule your surgery jfc” and I was like “oh but I can if y’all really need me to?” (I’m too nice) to which she goes “NO!! That’s crazy!!! Thank you for even CONSIDERING doing something like that but no absolutely not. You’re not fucking around at home doing nothing for 2 weeks it’s SURGERY.” And ended the conversation by walking away so that was that lol. I’m very glad one of them actually has some sense.
Oh, and other supervisor came up and did this thing she likes to do when she’s wrong where she doesn’t apologize but DOES find a way to just brush off her wrongdoing. This time she comes up to me later in the day and was like “haha yeah I told (team lead) that you told me the time off request that I denied was actually for surgery and she stopped what she was doing, shook her head, and IMMEDIATELY came up to talk to you lol” like yeah no shit dude?? Oh the team lead was disappointed that you’re being a bitch and had to clean up your mess?? And is also actually reasonable and didn’t expect me to literally cancel getting my body cut open to come work a stupid holiday that’s not even busy? Real shocker lmfao
TLDR boss tried to make me reschedule a much needed surgery bc I scheduled it on blackout days that no one told me were blackout, other boss comes thru and is like “wtf thats fucking crazy please don’t do that jfc”
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i read through the c!dream apologist manifesto
First of all, absolutely 0 hate to the author of this!!! I just like writing about c!Dream and thought this would be an interesting challenge. Secondly, this is pretty long, so it’s under a read more. TL;DR: tommy did nothing wrong, genuinely, he’s just a completely normal child and if dream took that personally that’s his own fucking fault
First, is the argument Dream was dethroning George in an effort to help him. I haven’t watched George's stream, so I cannot confirm or deny it, but either way it’s no fault of George for feeling upset and betrayed and used for that, especially considering the Spirit speech later.
Next is stating that Tommy has been manipulated into believing he’s an “unrealised hero”, which is- I’m sorry. No. Tommy has been forced into the hero role again and again by those around him, but he’s explicitly said he doesn’t see himself as the hero.
There’s the old adage that Tommy is the cause of most of the conflicts on the SMP, and- no. Tommy and Dream's fight before the disc war? Sapnap. The disc war? All Dream, he could have literally given the discs back and stopped it. L'Manburg? Dream, for not even bothering negotiation. Pogtopia? Schlatt for tyrannical rulership and turning the nation against him. Butcher army? Quackity. Pet wars? Sapnap started the first one. The plot to destroy L'Manburg? Techno. Doomsday? Dream, Techno, and Phil. Not a single major conflict I can think of was started by Tommy.
It also mentions that Tommy needs to face consequences for his actions- he’s faced nothing but?
L'Manburg is mentioned as Tommy’s nation, which is factually incorrect. He was a general and VP at times but lacked little real power.
It also claims L'Manburg was based on division, and raised on war. In fact, L'Manburg was explicitly founded on the idea of non-violence.
Dream only really steps in when people threaten the SMP? Incorrect- as mentioned above, L'Manburg was fully peaceful and he didn’t even attempt negotiations. It also mentions “Tommy in general,” but all the conflict Tommy could be credited to causing literally all happened because Dream wouldn’t give him two pieces of plastic that Tommy owned.
It mentions the monarchs of the Greater Dream SMP being figureheads but also claims Dream isn’t a ruler? Like they’re figureheads for him.
Dream doesn’t hate Tommy lmfao he’s just a fuckin yandere.
I’m pretty sure the conflict that lead to the disc war started before Tommy even entered the server, and entirely involved the initial eight at the very least before Tommy killed Dream once.
“Tommy was the one who agressed further” Dream literally stole his shit and refused to give it back for no reason lmao.
Dream literally set up Tommy's exile weeks in advance, framing him. There was no incident until Dream made one over what basically amounted to a troubled teenager egging someone’s house and stealing like ten pounds. Karl and Sapnap (I believe) literally did worse to the house and weren’t punished at all.
I wouldn’t call what Dream did “manipulating Tommy into submission”, as the document did. It’s technically true, but more accurate to say would be abuse. Dream beat Tommy, and hit him with an axe until he screamed multiple times. He also forcibly destroyed his property, and threatened to kill him for minor things.
They actually don’t ignore Doomsday Dream saying he loved toying with Tommy! Props there! I appreciate that. Still, I disagree on their point that it was because of what Tommy represented. If it was, what was the point when Tommy was helpless and alone and begging like the terrified child he was?
A whole speech isn’t an indirect mention of only caring about the discs jfc
Also he said he only cared about the discs because they could be used to control Tommy he doesn’t care about the discs just the control they give him lol
“I view Tubbo much like an extension of the actions Tommy has taken” he’s a whole ass person dude?
In closure: I enjoyed reading through the manifesto! I like my opinions being challenged! I might come across as a bit rude, and for that I apologise- I’m trying to be humorous, not cruel. If anyone wants to debate me on this topic I’d be overjoyed!
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lis-likes-fics · 3 years
Text
Intoxicated
Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x Reader Word Count: 7,877 words. JFC. I know, I know Warnings: Alcohol use, drug use, accidental overdose, and a lot of angst. Author’s Note: Okay.... I know. I got a little bit carried away again. Bite me. This is part two of Concussed. I’m super happy with it.
~~~~~
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Y/N sighed as she stepped out of her car. Carlisle gave it to her after the accident, her car had exploded after the wreck. She didn't think Jacob would be able to fix that.
She just came back from her day at work at the Carver Café. She'd already graduated and decided to get a job for the money, but mostly just to keep her busy during the day when Carlisle was at work.
She locked the car and walked up to her door, digging in her bag for her keys while moving a strand of hair from her face. When her hands wrapped around the keys, she unlocked her door and walked inside, kicking off her shoes while closing the door behind her.
She set her bag on the table, picking up her phone to call Carlisle after her long day of work. The phone rang a few times as she waited, taking the dollar bills and loose change from her bag and moving it to her money jars.
When the phone didn't pick up, she furrowed her brow and called again. He never missed a call.
When the phone didn't pick up the second time, she started to get worried. She walked to her kitchen, stopping at the door as she looked at the counter. There was a paper, a letter.
She eyed it, wondering what the letter could have said. She saw the flawless signature at the bottom, Carlisle.
Why didn't he call or tell her in person?
She picked up the note and read it carefully:
"My dearest, Y/N,
There are no words to express the gratitude I feel in my heart because our hearts have come to dwell together as one. You are my life, my heart, my soul. You are my one true love. The day we met was fate. You are my destiny. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I will love you more tomorrow than I do today. Loving you is the only thing that makes my life worth living now.
I love you and I always will until my existence may come to an end. I want to hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you and how much you really mean to me.
You gave me comfort and confidence where there was doubt. I want to be there when you need to talk. I want to be the comfort for your soul. I want to love you in the way you deserve to be loved. I need you to be a part of my life. All the things that I told you about how I felt and how you make me feel were true.
But I can't be here for you without putting you in danger. You are my love, my life, my heart, my soul, and my everything. If I were to be the reason you get hurt, or worse, I would never be able to forgive myself.
So my family and I are leaving. In time, I hope you are able to move on and find someone who makes you feel whole, who makes you feel better than I ever could. You are a strong woman, so you don't need me. I know that you have the strength to pull through this so you can live a full, happy, and safe life.
I'm sorry for any pain I have ever caused you, I'm sorry for any pain I may cause you. I love you, and I will always love you.
Goodbye, my love.
Forever yours, Carlisle."
Her brain worked to process the letter, trying to let the words sink in. When they did, they hit her hard. It was worse than the car crash, the pain sinking into her body, followed by a cry.
Her legs came out from under her, unable to hold her up and support her. Tears sprang to her eyes and were instantly free falling. A strangled cry left her throat and she dropped the note.
Her head was buried in her legs. She didn't know how long she was there crying. The pain blinded and deafened her. All she could hear was his voice repeating "We're leaving."
Her whole being hurt, she felt her heart being torn in two.
He called her strong. He said she would be able to move on, in time.
He must have not realized just how self-destructive she was. He had become her life and he was leaving her. How could she move on from that?
"I don't want to lose you." Those were the words he told her that same night. Why was he leaving her without those words hanging in the air?
Why would he leave her?
~
Months had passed. Y/N was a wreck. She attempted going to the Cullen's house to see if it was some sick joke, but she could bring herself to go. She couldn't face the emptiness of that place.
She tried to check up on Bella, but she decided against it. Her mental health was crumbling, she would never be able to help Bella.
Y/N focused on work at the diner. Everyone noticed how lifeless she had become in such a short period of time. She was visibly deteriorating.
When she wasn't at the diner working herself to death, taking double shifts, triple shifts, quadruple shifts to keep her distracted, she was at her home with a bottle of something strong.
Since she lived next to the Chief, she was one of the people in town who people usually knew. Charlie had some sort of guardian responsibility over her after her grandfather died, people knew her.
Because of this, she had to drive all the way to Port Angeles to get her bottles of sweet drunkenness. The longer she was sober, the longer she had to deal with thinking of him.
She didn't want to think of him. Thinking of him meant thinking of him leaving her. Which led to some eternal outlet that would lead to the end of her existence.
She didn't like thinking of him.
If he would just come back to her, she would finally be okay. All she needed was for him to come back.
But that would never happen. He left, he's gone.
Y/N plopped down on her couch, a glass in her hand and a bottle sitting on the table for her refill. She searched through the TV to find something to watch. There had to be something to distract her, something to watch drunk. She knew better after learning from her mistake the first time she got drunk with the door unlocked and her keys in hand.
It was a long day of waiting for her bus back home. She had no idea how she wound up in Montana, but she did.
There was a knock on her door and she groaned loudly, hiding the alcohol in the cabinet under the kitchen sink, putting the jug of dish soap in front of it.
There was another knock on the door and she spoke in the clearest voice she could manage, "I'm coming."
She sighed and grabbed a bottle of water and a mint before opening the door. Bella stood on the other side, bags under her eyes from her lack of sleep and that spark she used to hold gone. Y/N was surprised to see her out of her house or school, she wasn't really active these days.
"Hey, Y/N. Sorry to come over like this," she said, looking at her.
Y/N shook her head, "No problem. Come in."
"Thanks," Bella mumbled as she walked into the house. Y/N scratched her head before closing the door, seeing Bella standing awkwardly in the world.
"Please, sit down," she told her, having a seat herself on her couch.
Bella took the offer, sitting in the chair next to the couch. Y/N asked hesitantly, "How are you holding up?"
Bella chuckled humorlessly, "I don't really want to talk about that."
"Yeah," Y/N muttered, "Me, neither." She stood with a sigh, headed to the kitchen to get a snack or something. "How are your nightmares?" Y/N asked, tripping slightly when she got to the threshold of the kitchen. She muttered a curse word under her breath.
"Are you okay?" Bella asked, concerned about the slip up. Y/N nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine." Despite her best efforts, the slight slur in her tone had managed to escape as she grabbed a bag of chips and poured it in a bowl, taking it back to the living room.
She sat back down on the couch and Bella nodded strangely, "My nightmares are…just the same as they usually are."
Y/N sighed, "Yeah, Charlie tells me sometimes. Says he's wearied- worried about you. Wants me to try and help but… if it's anything like me… I won't be able to."
Bella furrowed her brows, looking at her closer. Bella blinked and shook her head, "Y/N, are you...drunk?"
Y/N looked at her, shaking her head quickly, "What? No! No, I'm not-I'm not drunk. I'm fine… I'm perfectly…completely…fine."
She looked down at a small dog figurine on the table to distract her before looking up to meet Bella's gaze. Tears began to make their way to her eyes, one managing to slip as her lip quivered slightly. She sighed and nodded slowly, "Yeah. I'm… a mess."
She couldn't stop the tears now, so she opted to ignore them. A downside to her being drunk was the spontaneous decision to either be void of emotion or ambushed with it. She always either ended up crying herself to sleep or staying up almost all night long before passing out with an hour of sleep under her belt.
She wiped a tear away, "I don't know what to do. Sobriety makes me think of him and I don't want to do that…"
Bella understood, nodding her slowly as she turned away, her own eyes filling with tears as she sympathized her pain with her own.
"I don't have anyone. My parents are dead, my grandfather is dead. I don't have any other family and I'm here alone," Y/N shook her head, sniffling and turning away from Bella completely.
Bella was always easy to talk to. She didn't judge, she didn't criticize. She would sit and listen and just be there, as a friend should.
Bella nodded, "For what it's worth, you'll always have Charlie and me."
Y/N took in those words. Charlie was always right next door when she needed him, no matter how little that was. He was there, his door was always open. Bella knew the same things Y/N did, so they could empathize with each other. They'd become somewhat family to her.
She just wished she could have her life back. He left with that.
"Thanks, Bells," Y/N told her gently. She looked around her house before her eyes landed on Bella again as she wiped her face, "Uh, can we keep this under wrap? No one in town knows and I want to keep it that way."
Bella nodded, "Won't tell a soul."
"Thanks."
For quite a while that night, the two allowed each other company and open ears. It was nice to have someone who knew, someone who knew.
No one else knew about her relationship with him. She was just out of high school, it would be strange if they got together when he was supposed to be in his late twenties to early thirties, at least to the humans.
Y/N fell asleep sometime after Bella had. It was late and they were both tired, Y/N especially.
When Bella started screaming in her sleep, Y/N bolted up quickly, easing her awake and telling her she was dreaming. Bella apologized heavily and Y/N told her not to worry. She found herself having nightmares of her own some nights.
Bella went back home after she'd woken up and Y/N poured herself a glass before trying to catch sleep of her own.
She went to her bed after cleaning up and was able to pass out from exhaustion. When she dreamt, she couldn't tell how much she wanted to.
Her dreams were the same for months.
~
"Y/N," her name was called by a voice she never thought she would hear again. She looked around in search of the angelic voice she had missed so much, "Where are you?"
She ran, searching frantically. She couldn't find him, he wasn't anywhere in reach. All she could hear was her name being whispered, as if carried in the wind.
"Where are you? Please!" She called, desperate to see her love again. She needed him, she couldn't go on without him.
"Please! Carlisle, come back!" She called, the name falling off her lips like both honey and poison. She couldn't tell which one. It was a bittersweet taste that drove her mad to think about.
"Please!" She cried, "I need you!"
"Y/N," his voice was closer now. She turned to see him, afraid that, if she wasted time, he would be gone again.
Her breath caught in her throat, but she didn't feel any different. When she saw his face, it was somehow paler than it normally was. His eyes were dark and tired, his hair was a mess. She stared at him in shock.
She reached a hand out to touch him. But just as her hand touched his cheek, he was gone.
"No, Carlisle!" She yelled, panting as she woke in a cold sweat. Tears covered her face and sweat covered her body.
She bent over and sobbed, her face buried in her knees as she let out the pain she was feeling that curled in her chest like a snake coiled around its prey. Pain filled her head as her headache ripped through her with a vengeance from both the drunkenness and the tears.
It was hard to breathe through her tears when everything hurt so much. It felt like she was being ripped open from the inside. Saying his name out loud only brought back to memories she worked so hard to drown out with alcohol.
Her eyes were red and puffy from crying so much. Her throat hurt from sobbing. She stood and headed downstairs, pushing past her bottles of dish soap to grab the alcohol bottle waiting for her.
She wished he would just come back to her. She wished he would bring back her heart, be with her again so she could stop hurting. Y/N just wanted him back.
~
Weeks past since this, she was no better. No one thought she would be. She dragged herself to her kitchen for a drink and something to eat.
Her hands grabbed at air as she dug through the cabinet under the sink and she sighed heavily. Y/N turned regrettably, her last bottle was in the trash. She'd finished it last night.
Y/N groaned loudly and stood, replacing her drink with water. She checked her phone, she had the day off of work. So no work to distract herself.
She knew she would be heading out of town today, so she made a checklist of things she would need.
Dinner. She needed food, her fridge was empty. She worked so late that she forgot to go to the store. She sniffed and sighed, she'd go later on today.
She also needed to do her laundry before it piled up. She would do that first and head into the city when that was finished.
The day was long and sober. She couldn't escape her own thoughts as she was left thinking of him with every move.
She hadn't seen Bella lately. All she knew was that she was hanging out on the reservation quite a lot with Jacob. She wondered if that's where she was right now. She especially hadn't seen Bella in the past couple of days.
Y/N would have joined her on the Rez with Jacob, but she thought it best not to. Bella needed this. She seemed better with Jacob around.
When the clothes were folded and put away and the laundry was all done, she headed out. She was running out of tolerance with sobriety.
The drive was about an hour as she came up on the grocery store. After the quick run, she went to the liquor store she always visited for her drinks.
"Ran out again?" The clerk asked as he checked her. She nodded, "Yep, I'm glad you've got me."
"Always do," he chuckled lightly before she paid and left. She went to her car, her bags on her arms as she sighed heavily.
"Psst," she turned around and saw a woman leaning against the side of the building. The woman gave a smile and asked, "Is the liquor satisfying you?"
She raised a brow and just stared back at the woman. She shrugged lightly, "I can give you something stronger. I've seen you around here a couple times a month, for the past six."
Y/N sighed, "I don't want what you're selling. I'm sad, not suicidal."
She laughed, "This stuff won't kill you, it'll just make you feel good. First time I tried it, I had a good time doing it. It'll make you feel real happy."
Y/N bit her lip and thought for a moment. She actually thought about it. She promised herself she wouldn't do anything worse than liquor, but even the liquor was losing its touch. She sighed, "What is it?"
"Just the happy stuff, give it a special name and you get cops on your back. It's nothing you need a needle for, if that's what you're worried about."
That was good. She hated needles. She bit down on her lip before asking, "Normally, it's two hundred."
Y/N's eyes widened slightly. The woman smirked, "But I'll make it one if I can have the best thing you got in there." She motioned to her bag and Y/N thought some more.
She nodded and grabbed her wallet, taking out the two fifties she had. She thought about it a little more, this was a big decision.
But she was too far gone to care. She sighed and handed it over, along with her best bottle, "Here."
The woman smiled and dug in her bag, pulling out a tiny baggy that held a large pill. Y/N grabbed it and put it in her pocket before turning to leave before she made any more big mistakes.
"Have fun," she said as she popped open the bottle.
Y/N got in her car and drove back home. Quickly unloading her food and liquor, she put everything up. She locked the door behind her as usual, grabbing a bottle and pouring herself a couple glasses.
She had completely forgotten about the pill in her pocket until she changed into short shorts and a t-shirt, the baggy falling out of the pocket.
She looked down at the pill, putting a little more thought into it. Unfortunately, it was hard to think. She was already drunk, she got better at downing her liquor with each cup.
But that's why she bought it, wasn't it?
She picked up the pill and sighed, putting it on her tongue and swallowing it, following it with liquor.
The pill worked quickly. At first, she could see how the pill made you feel "happy". She was dancing around her house, tripping over things and enjoying herself.
Then her pulse sped up and she felt nauseous, but she couldn't feel herself puking. Nothing was coming up, she only had the feeling.
When her energy went down dramatically, so did her pulse. She bumped into the table in the living room and tripped slightly.
She got back to her feet, her vision blurry. She was sweating like crazy and she felt horrible. Then she tripped behind the couch, her head fuzzy and her body numb.
Her mouth started foaming a little, her vision fading in and out. She didn't know when she passed out, but she did. She kept coming back to consciousness, but it was hard to feel. Her body hurt, but she couldn't move.
The door opened at some point as her eyes opened lazily. She couldn't see anything, she still had foam coming out of her mouth. It tasted disgusting.
She tried to make a sound or move, but she couldn't. She heard the footsteps but her eyes closed again and she faded out.
~
The door swung open and his eyes widened as he saw Y/N laying behind the couch, foaming at the mouth.
"Y/N!" He exclaimed, kneeling beside her as he tried to listen closely to her heartbeat. It was slow, too slow. If he could cry, he would have.
He placed his cool hand on her cheek, "Y/N, love, wake up. Please."
He looked up and rushed to her bathroom, searching through her cabinet in search of something to use. When he found the activated charcoal, he sighed in relief and snatched it.
He paused when she saw the antidepressants sitting next to it. It was mostly untouched, it didn't seem like it'd been used in months. She'd given up on them.
He frowned and swallowed hard before heading back downstairs to her. He opened her mouth and put one of the pills in her mouth, following it with water to get her to swallow it.
"Come on," he muttered to himself, "Swallow it. Please, take it."
She managed a small noise as she tried to mumble, but her lips barely moved. When he saw her swallow the pill, he nodded and sat her up against his chest.
"Come on," he said, "You'll be okay. It's okay." He picked her up and set her on the couch, her head propped up on a pillow. "You'll be okay," he told her, his face was pained as he watched her.
He stayed with her, giving her a little bit of water at a time after wiping her mouth of the foam and sweat.
He could hear her heartbeat return to normal, the sweat died down and he laid a blanket over her. He sighed with much relief as she slept. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. This wasn't supposed to happen.
He looked around the house, the house he'd missed walking into. He saw the bottle of liquor and the cup on the table and frowned.
He turned to the kitchen, the fridge had food in it, but it wasn't as full as it needed to be. He sniffed the air and bent down in front of the sink, opening the cabinet to see the fresh bottles hiding behind the soap.
He sighed again, wiping his face before glancing back at her sleeping on the couch. He wandered around the home, trying to see what all was different. He went back to the bathroom to put the charcoal pills back in it. He picked up the bottle of antidepressants, looking at the date written on it.
It was sometime after he'd left.
After a while, he'd heard her scrambling downstairs, followed by a retching sound as she puked. He rushed downstairs to her, taking her hair in his hands to move it out of the way.
She jumped slightly at the touch but was too caught up in throwing up. When she was finished, she collapsed on the floor next to the trash, wiping her face.
He knelt in front of her, not sure if he should offer her a smile or a sad look. He gave her a sad smile to even it out.
Y/N blinked at him and muttered quietly, she was in shock and disbelief, saying his name still hurt. This was some illusion, he wasn't coming back.
"Carlisle?" She spoke, her voice wavering as she ready had tears welling in her eyes at saying the name and seeing him.
"Y/N," Carlisle sighed, reaching his hands out to touch her, "What happened to you? Why would yo-"
She cut him off, standing up as she flinched away from him. She thought him coming back would make everything better. She thought she would throw herself into his arms and tell him how much she missed him.
But she was just pissed.
"What the hell?!" She yelled, moving away from him, her eyes burning in anger.
Carlisle watched her, silently getting back to his feet. She stared at him, her eyes brimming with tears, her voice wavering drastically.
"You leave me here alone and then show up after six months with no explanation? I thought you were never coming back! I spent weeks trying to convince myself that you would return and then it turned into months and I lost all hope of ever seeing you again," she sobbed.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I was trying to keep you sa-"
"Keep me safe?" She scoffed, "That's not an excuse, Carlisle. I wish it was, but it isn't." She shook her head and another round of sobs left her, shaking through her violently.
Carlisle hated seeing her cry like this, he hated seeing her so broken. This wasn't supposed to happen.
"You left me here alone. I didn't think you would ever come back. I thought I meant nothing to you."
He tried again, "Y/N-"
"I'm not finished," she told her. She hadn't raised her voice, she had strained it by crying and she knew she wouldn't have to raise it to stop him. He would listen to her.
"I thought you loved me. That's what you told me," she shook her head before allowing herself to look up at him.
"I do love you," Carlisle told her quickly. He couldn't bear the thought of her not knowing that he loved her.
"Then why did you leave?" The room fell silent as she stared him down. He looked away from her, he couldn't take the look in her eyes as she stared at him. They were heartbroken, beaten, she looked hopeless and broken. She continued, "You could have brought me with you, or just stayed. You hurt me, Carlisle. You were supposed to protect me, but I needed protection from myself and you weren't here to give it."
She fell silent and Carlisle hesitated to look up at her, but he did. She was still staring at her feet, tears dropped from her eyes as her lip quivered uncontrollably. Something in him made him move closer to him, his arms out for a hug. He just wanted to calm her, to help her, to wrap his arms around her to tell her that he was here and would never leave her again.
But he couldn't.
"Don't touch me!" She exclaimed, holding her arms around herself. She looked back down at her feet with blurry vision.
Carlisle's eyes held grief, pain, and sorrow. He didn't like seeing her like this. This wasn't supposed to happen.
Y/N sighed heavily and went to her couch, sitting down and pouring a glass of scotch. Carlisle was by her side in a split second, his hand grabbing the bottle and pulling it from her grip.
"You shouldn't be putting this stuff in your body, you almost just died because of it. You've polluted your blood, it smells different," he told her gently.
Y/N didn't look at him, she stated at her glass and sighed, "You... get no say… in what I choose to put in my body."
Without looking at him, she grabbed the bottle again and poured her drink, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a sip. He looked away from her, unable to watch her do this to herself. Or rather what he did to her.
As she drank the liquid, it burned down her throat. She expected it to calm her nerves as it always had, but she only grew self-conscious. Having him see her like this, down at her lowest low as she downed a glass of alcohol, she felt unclean and poisoned. She felt invaluable and dirty. She felt like she had lost all of her importance sitting next to him so hopelessly.
She set her glass down soundlessly, standing up from her spot on the couch to get to the fridge. She opened it and grabbed a bottle of water, hoping it would help to cleanse some of that feeling out of her.
But it didn't. Sure, the water was refreshing, but it didn't help.
Carlisle spoke into the silence, eyes glued to a picture hanging on the wall where she was smiling brightly with her late grandfather. She looked so happy in that picture, a vast contrast to how she looked now.
"I spent every day wishing I was with you. I wanted to come home but I didn't think it was safe. I thought I was putting you in danger simply by being here," Carlisle admitted sadly. His honey smooth voice was clear but anything was calm. It was sad. If he was capable of it, it would have broken multiple times throughout his words.
She sunk down to her knees as he spoke, she didn't want to look back up at him as he spoke, her head against the wall. She didn't look over. "You put me in danger by not being here…" she said softly, "I thought I lost the one I loved the most. It hurt. It especially hurt thinking that the one I loved the most didn't love me." Her voice cracked at the end.
He turned to her, but she did not turn to meet his gaze. It hurt too much to look at him. "I do love you. In all my years, I've never loved like I do with you. You're my everything. I never meant to hurt you."
"All you had to do was stay," she shook her head as she spoke, still refusing to look up at him. She brought her legs in front of her and tucked them to her chest, setting her chin on her arms.
The room fell back into uncomfortable silence. She stared at the cabinet filled with liquor in disgust, thinking back to the pill she took earlier that night. How could she be so stupid?
She swallowed hard as she felt another lump in her throat, more tears threatening to spill. Carlisle licked his lips and closed his eyes, "All I wanted to do was help people. I dedicated my whole existence to doing just that. Then I find someone as special as you and hurt the person I wanted to protect the most."
Carlisle was gone in the next second. He'd left so quickly, there was no sound from the door opening or closing behind him. She saw lights flash outside her window as he started his car, pulling out of the driveway and leaving her alone in her house.
Y/N's face scrunched as tears left her. They streamed down her face, her eyes puffing once again and her body shook. She thought over their conversation in her head. She was too hard on him, she knew that. She should have accepted him and let him make everything okay.
But she didn't, she pushed him away. Even after he just saved her life…again.
"Carlisle," she said. She hadn't spoken his name in months, it hurt too much to say. But after seeing him again, knowing he was real, after all. It was so good to say his name again, it was a release she didn't know she needed. She repeated his name through her sobs, like playing a broken record. It felt so good.
She didn't know how long she was crying. She grabbed the scotch bottle off the table and began to bring it to her lips before stopping. She sighed and looked at the bottle. She shook her head, turning to the sink and pouring it down the drain.
There was a small part of her that was screaming at her to stop, to think about what she was doing, but that part was too small against this new need, this old and new desire in her body.
This desire to make it up to Carlisle.
She couldn't go on the way she was, she knew it wasn't healthy from the start, but she didn't care because it was a distraction, it made her feel somewhat good.
But she was going to do her best to be worthy of his love again. Hopefully, getting rid of the pollutant, the poison she'd been giving herself would make up for an inkling of the harm she inflicted upon him.
She didn't care that he hurt her now that she had hurt him. She just needed to make it up, and she would spend the rest of her life doing that.
She grabbed every bottle she had, pouring it down the sink. With each drop down, she felt unsure of herself. Would she be able to stick it out? This was what she used to cope, this was what she had been using for strength these several months.
Her instincts tried to make her stop what she was doing, but she needed to change her instincts. She needed to get them back to how they were. She needed to be strong for Carlisle.
When the liquor was gone, she closed her eyes and sighed. She felt this strange freedom, this strange pride in her being. She was proud of herself, but only a little bit. It wasn't enough to make her crack any type of smile.
She threw all the liquor bottles in the trash, getting rid of her demon. When she was finished, it was roughly five in the morning. She was practically dead on her feet.
She had terrible sleep over the past couple of weeks, it was so bad that she resulted in not sleeping at all in the past few days.
She was really dizzy and she felt herself swaying, struggling to keep her on her feet. Normally, she would just down a glass of liquor and keep running on that. But seeing as she had just disposed of every single drop she had, that wasn't an option.
Another reason for being so tired? She neglected her body of the water she needed to survive. She was extremely dehydrated.
In short, her body was barely holding on to what little life it held.
She shook her head and declared herself awake, headed to the door to go to Carlisle. She needed to see him. She needed to be with him and reassure him that they would be okay. They had to be okay. She couldn't lose him twice.
However, she didn't make it past the couch before she collapsed, falling to the floor as she passed out instantly.
~
She might as well start getting used to being woken by people because she collapsed on the floor. Bella was waking her up anxiously, Charlie by her side-- he was probably the one who got the locked door open. Both Charlie and Carlisle had a key.
"Y/N, wake up!" She exclaimed. Y/N's eyes opened slowly and she saw the two hovering over her, fear written across their faces. They relaxed a little when she opened her eyes fully and slowly sat up. She had a pounding headache, though.
"What happened, kid?" Charlie asked, helping her sit up.
Y/N laughed humorlessly, "I guess I was so tired I passed out." She was dizzy as she looked around the room. She struggled to her feet, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge to try and soothe herself.
When her vision settled and she wasn't seeing four Swans in her house, she sighed. Charlie looked over at the trash can filled with liquor bottles.
"What is this?" He asked, eyeing her with a hint of disappointment.
She spoke quickly, "I wasn't drinking any." She thought with the speed of a vampire. She'd spent so much time with the Cullens, she'd picked up on their ability to lie so quickly, "I saw them near the house just laying there, I think someone dumped them, so I threw them away. I passed out because I got tired and dehydrated from so much work at the diner."
He nodded and thought about her answer. It was a legitimate answer to him. He's known this girl her whole life, she wouldn't drink that much, especially at 19. But, in her defense, she would be twenty soon.
He nodded and told her, "Just…be careful, you scared me, kid."
She gave him a reassuring look, forcing a smile, "I will, Chief."
He nodded to her again and looked between her and his daughter before turning to leave them alone, it looked like they had something to talk about.
When he was gone and well out of earshot, Bella rushed to her quickly, "Are you insane? Edward told me what you did. Overdose, really?!"
Y/N sighed, "It was an accident. I was getting… really bad… and someone offered and I was too far gone. It was one pill but I was drunk and it didn't go well… He found me and helped me. We argued and I'm just… I'm trying to fix it."
She watched her as she spoke, she believed every word she said. Y/N was in no position to lie to her at the moment. Bella sighed, "Get some sleep first, at least. I know I can't tell you what to do but you fainted, so I think we can both agree that you need to sleep before you turn into ash or something."
Y/N sighed and agreed to at least that. She knew she needed sleep before she passed out while driving to the Cullen's and really died.
She got in the shower to soothe her body and release some of the tension in her muscles. She'd been so stressed lately and last night with seeing Carlisle for the first time in over six months, arguing with him, and almost dying (technically almost dying twice), she needed a healthy outlet.
After the long shower, she was able to get herself to drift into sleep. After seeing Carlisle again, her nightmares calmed down and allowed her a dreamless sleep. It was nice to have sleep, she hadn't gotten much of it in a long time.
~
After getting healthy sleep, even if it was only three hours, sleep was sleep, she quickly ate to calm her growling stomach.
She was grabbing her keys when her phone rang. She sighed and turned to pick it up, "Hello?"
"Y/N, I'm glad you're okay. Charlie told me what happened," Billy’s voice said on the other end.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Didn't mean to worry anybody," she told him. She internally sighed. Word spread quick around Forks, she would be surprised if the whole town called to ask if she was okay. But she would rather answer that many phone calls in one day.
Billy wasn't the last to call either. As soon as the call ended, the phone rang again as another person contacted Y/N to make sure she was alright.
What a great town this was to show their concern for her.
At the wrong times.
By the fifth call, she decided to just email all of the people she knew would be calling who hadn't called yet. She wrote the email, reassuring everyone that she was A-OK and didn't need any help. That seemed to shut up the phone and she was able to leave.
She groaned loudly when she looked at the time again. It was already late as it struck five in the evening.
She waited a few more minutes to make sure the phone didn't ring again before getting in her car. During the car ride, she kept herself hydrated, learning from her mistake. She wasn't too keen on fainting from lack of hydration or sleep.
She sped down the familiar path to the Cullen House. She wanted to get there quickly, she had wasted enough time with her mundane activities. She needed to see him.
When she came through the trees and pulled into the Cullen's driveway, she got out before the keys were even out of the ignition. Y/N walked up to the house, seeing Carlisle standing in a window. He saw her and, even from where she was standing, she could see something in eyes when he met hers.
She swallowed hard and held her arms out in front of her, a proposal. He zoomed out of the window and out of the house. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest.
She instantly broke down again, she was getting tired of crying. Her arms held him to her, never letting go. She was so afraid that if she left go of him, she'd lose him all over again. She couldn't go through that twice.
Even if it wasn't the same as before, it was still her scent Carlisle breathed in as he hugged her tight, careful not to crush her. Everyone else must have been out hunting if they hadn't shown up by now.
Y/N let out a sharp breath before sucking another back in, sobbing into Carlisle's chest. He felt good. He felt like home. She was home.
She let out a breathy laugh and sniffled, letting him hold her to him. It was as if all of their troubles had washed away so that this moment was the most special of all.
Y/N pulled her head out of the crook of his neck just so she could kiss him. She missed him more than anything, she missed his hugs, his kisses, his words of love. This was perfect.
They were wrapped up in their moment, wrapped up in each other. It felt so amazing to have their lives back. They were home again.
She breathed deeply, holding the breath in as her lips moved in sync with her mate's. She then let the breath out in a moan, but she was too focused on the moment to let the sound embarrass her. She wrapped her arms tighter around him.
He pulled away enough to speak, still so close that he spoke against her lips, "I'm so sorry for what I've done to you."
She shook her head, "Stay." She didn't care about what happened, she cared about what can happen.
He smiled, "I will." It was her turn to bring him back into the kiss, kissing him deeply and passionately. It had been too long since she felt his touch.
When her mind came back to her drinking briefly as she spoke into his lip, "I'm quitting."
"Good," he smiled, once again kissing her. They weren't going to waste any time to be near each other, touch each other, love each other.
When the kiss slowed, she took a deep breath in, his scent filling her senses. She missed his scent. She opened her eyes to stare in his, they were beautiful, honey gold, sparkling as he gazed at her. She missed those eyes. She expected them to be darker like they were last night, but they were just as golden as the sun.
She smiled, her first genuine smile in months. He smiled back at her, captivated by her. Their foreheads were still pressed together and they swayed slightly, reveling in each other.
Y/N spoke, intoxicated by him, "I love you." Her words were a whisper, a breath that delivered the sweetest of air.
Carlisle beamed down at her, a light laugh escaping his throat as he gazed at her, his face looking like he was going to cry while his eyes stayed clear of any tears. "I love you," he told her sincerely. The only thing they could think of doing after the heartwarming confession was to kiss each other again.
He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, moaning again at the feel of his body against hers. She felt amazing with him.
He set her on the hood of her car and continued to kiss her, mumbling against her lips, "I'm going to marry you one day."
She smiled, "What's keeping you back?"
"Absolutely nothing," he told her genuinely.
They stayed like that, just kissing each other's pain away the best they could. There was no way they could ever leave each other's sides. After the ordeal they just went through, they could never.
He told her in that soft, smooth voice she missed with all her being, "I will never leave you again. No matter what, I will always be right here with you. I love you."
"I know," she replied just as gently, "I love you. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me. I love you so much."
The confessions were falling freely, leaving their lips faster than they could think. "After all this time, I still can't believe I'm yours. I can't imagine my life without you now, Carlisle. I obviously wouldn't last. If you hadn't stepped in, I'd be dead. Here I am, only living and breathing because you were here to care for me."
"I don't want to lose you, Y/N," he told her that same thing the first time they kissed. They held so much gravity then and they only seem to hold more now, "I don't know how I'd survive without you now. You're my life now and I will never let you go ever again. I promise you."
They thought they were going to be there forever confessing their feelings over and over again, drinking each other in with each kiss. They knew that they would eventually have to go inside and spare the others.
They went inside and eventually everyone came back from their hunting trip. They expressed how good it was to have her around again and how much they missed her. After a talk with Alice about how Carlisle knew she was in trouble, she went up to Carlisle's room with her hand grasped tightly in his.
There was a bed in his room that he had bought specifically for her so she could fall asleep in his arms. They were talking quietly with each other for a while before she finally fell asleep in his embrace.
He promised her that he would never ways protect her and that he would never leave her again, he promised that he loved her deeply, that he would always love her and he would always be here. He kissed her forehead, "Goodnight, my darling. I love you."
She smiled in her sleep, holding him tighter as she allowed her dreams to run wild. It was the best sleep she'd had in what felt like forever as she held tightly to him, never once letting him go as she slept.
Carlisle could have sworn she heard her mumble his name in her sleep and he smiled, breathing in deeply to enjoy her presence.
She muttered to herself, lost in her dreams of him, "I love you, Carlisle…"
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blossom-hwa · 3 years
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college model!juyeon
SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3
pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader
wc: 2.4k
genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au
triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)
fashion major!kevin
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so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices
and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF
so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you
you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)
so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too
and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week
it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO 
kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash
(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)
then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress 
and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off 
AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens
at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are
and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean
juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.
which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself
(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)
(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)
anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine
juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece
you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)
juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there
you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you
juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3
and that’s how it goes.
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If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3
(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)
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