#i really should come up with a tag for these posts but alas i do not have one yet

[cubedmango]

thought id see some deep and thought-provoking discussions about the philosophical and moral questions posed in atsv but all im seeing is a whole bunch of "the whole spider society is evil and fucked up for trying to save the entire fabric of the multiverse even if they have to bear personal grief for it and miles is the only Good One" and man . expected too much from the 'spends 90% time and energy thirsting for scary big vampire guy' fandom huh

[scionshtola]

i was looking through my corishtola tag earlier and imagining the gifsets i could make to various poems if only i had the material to work with

[coveted-covey]

a/n: minors please don't interact. blank and ageless blogs are going to be blocked. 🚶‍♀️ this was supposed to be posted a month ago but I got stuck 1.6k words in. literally that one bake off meme except it went like "started writing it. had a month's long block. but here it is now so bon appetit." ...anyways!

cw: Cove and reader are 23 (step 4 age!), established relationship, making out, some s*xual tension (note sure if this cw is needed), multiple mentions of alcohol and reader drinking/getting drunk, slightly OOC!Cove, but I totally see him doing it if push comes to shove and so here we are… or maybe I’m just projecting! :D this is also not beta read. but either way, enjoy! let me know if I missed anything else in the tags.

Word count: 2,016

You're 97% certain that you're going crazy. 

That or there's something in the air, but whatever it is you realize that you don't really care. Nothing comes close to the urgency that is Cove James Holden.

With spasming hands, you grab ahold of his hair as you try to breathe in between the small gaps that you afford yourself. When that becomes insufficient, you press yourself further into his personal space.

“[Name], w-wait–” Cove gasps as you bite his lower lip. “Let's go inside first–” 

You stop your assault of his mouth, replacing it with your gentle thumb instead. Cove’s brain is short-circuiting and your rapt attention at his lips is absolutely not helping. You giggle as you tug his lips down with your thumb. “Your lips are so swollen, baby.” 

He lets out a groan of half-embarassment and half-wantonness. “I shouldn't have let you drink tonight.” Realizing that he should use the opportunity of you not pressing your own to his lips as of yet, he quickly grabs his keys from his pocket then opens the door of his apartment.

The low creaking of the door captures your attention, then you dangerously swerve as you snap your attention back to him. “Ahh, here it is! Homeee~” you drawl.

He grabs your waist as you almost bump to one of his floormates passing through the corridor. “[Name], be quiet,” he mutters lowly then quickly apologizes to the old lady, cheeks reddening. If it could go any redder at this point, that is.

He leads you inside and you lean your full weight against him. He didn’t even stagger. You would have marvelled at his strength if had you been paying attention, but alas you were briefly distracted by the little to no light that welcomed you as you stepped into the threshold.

“It's so dark here. Why is it so dark?” You whine. 

Cove shuts the door then puts down your bags beside his shoe rack. He wordlessly flicks the light switch on then turns to you. “Sit down here for a second.” 

“Hmm?” Your eyes blink at the blue lounge chair he's patting. When you make no move, he gently sits you down then moves to take off your shoes.

You stare at him, eyes slightly unfocused. “Hey…”

“Yes, [Name]?” He looks up at you from the floor and you giggle.

You lean into his ear. “You look good kneeling.”

“God.” 

Cove looks up then mutters something underneath his breath. He closes his eyes shut, lips in a deep frown and brows furrowing despite the bright blush on his cheeks. You're going to be the death of him.

A beat passes.

He clears his throat. “I’m gonna help you change your clothes and then I’m putting you to bed, okay? Come on,” he gives you his hand to help you up, but you lightly swat his hand away.

“Nooo, I want a piggyback ride!” 

Cove tries to think back to the first time you got yourself this inebriated. Except nothing comes close to mind. There was that one time your parents let you have wine on your 18th birthday, but that was in the privacy of your own home, and you were not allowed to stay up with Cove with just the both of you. With all things considered, then, this would be the first time. He has half a mind to call the Last’s but didn’t, considering the both of you are full-grown adults at this point and he’s capable of taking care of you tonight.

He is… right?

Your head lolls a bit to the side, then leans back next to his head. “You’re so warm,” you hummed as you tightened your arms around his shoulders.

“You are, too. I’m gonna put you down now, ‘kay?”

Your lips tremble, your intoxicated mind irrationally offended with the thought of him going away from you. You hiccup. “Are you mad at me?” Another hiccup. “Don’t let go, please?”

“[N-name], are you crying? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!” he tries to look at you, but human heads can only turn up to a certain angle. “I won’t go away, I promise. I’m just gonna let you down on the bed.”

You sniffle, nodding despite Cove not facing you. “Okay…”

You feel what you can only assume as his mattress beneath you as he deposits you down onto the soft covers. You come face to face with his worried face as he examines your countenance with his hands on both sides.

“Don’t cry,” he swipes his thumb at a stray tear, his heart breaking at the sight of your red-rimmed eyes and trembling lips. “I think you’re underestimating your own importance in my life,” he lets out a sad chuckle. “I’ll never, ever, let you go out of my own accord. You’re it for me. My soulmate, the love of my life. I’ll spend forever loving you if I could. So don’t cry, okay? Honestly you would have to be the one to decide if you get sick of me at some point, and only then will I consider leaving you. But until then—and God knows leaving you, ever, is not what I would want—I’m yours.”

He ends his speech with a tender kiss on your forehead.

Being reasonably touched and rightfully overwhelmed at your boyfriend’s reaffirmation of his love aside, it seems like the alcohol is affecting you so much worse than you would have liked. It’s getting embarrassing and sober you would definitely hit yourself upside the head with how ridiculous you’re reacting.

You start sobbing.

“Waaaahh, I love you so, so, so much!” you wail as you bury your face on his stomach, hugging him in a vice grip. Cove can only hug you as tight as your positions can allow him, rubbing your back soothingly as he tries his best to calm you down.

A couple minutes of uncontrolled sobbing and you getting helped by Cove to get cleaned up for bed later, you’re now snug under his covers, waiting for him to come back from the kitchen to get a fresh glass of cold water.

“Here you go,” he puts the glass on the sidetable and you sit up to drink it. You gulp down the refreshing water in no time.

Having calmed down from the blindsiding, alcohol-driven, emotional outburst earlier, you can only look at him sheepishly as you are hit with sudden clarity. “I’m sorry for the, uh, sorry for being unreasonable earlier. I’m 100% blaming the alcohol,” you laugh lightly. You try to ignore the urge to pinch yourself out of embarrassment.

“Are you feeling better now?” he gives you such a heavy look that you can’t help but find the texture of his covers particularly interesting. Great, now you’ve disappointed him.

 “Yes, yes, I do. I’m really sorry about earlier, I was probably being a bother. I’m not sure I will swear off alcohol completely, but I’ll try to keep it to an ultra reasonable amount and not end up being completely hammermpgh—”

Cove leans forward and takes your lips against his own, shutting you up and pushing you back down on the bed in the process. “Don’t misunderstand, you can do whatever you want as long as you’re not totally endangering yourself and I will take care of you, but it seems like we’re still not seeing eye to eye in one crucial thing.”

Your head still reeling from the kiss, you can only open and close your mouth like a silly guppy. “W-what—”

“You’re not being a bother to me. Not ever,” he frowns, peeved at, and saddened by you downplaying yourself. “You never have to apologize for the things that I do for you because I love you and you’d do the same thing for me in a heartbeat.”

“But I—”

The rest of your sentence was interrupted by your beloved boyfriend leaning in once again to capture your lips in another searing kiss. “None of that,” he murmurs from above you, and your heart starts to race at the palpable tension between the two of you. “Do you understand, [Name]?”

You take in his state from above you, his eyebrows furrowed, pupils dilated, cheeks rosy pink, and lips deliciously swollen. You gulp as you feel your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

“I-I do. I understand.”

“Good,” he whispers lowly, and you’ve never wanted to shriek so hard in your life. You try to look back in your whole relationship with your neighbor-turned-friend-turned-best friend-turned-childhood sweetheart-turned-boyfriend and try to pinpoint a time he was ever this… this… this INTENSE and HOT and you want to faint.

You think you are going to faint.

Presumably contented from your response, he finally pulls back and you’re left trying to settle your breathing. Before he can step away to get to his side of the bed, however, you abruptly sit up to grab at his sleeve.

“Wait.”

He stops, looking at you with questioning eyes. You almost balk but steel yourself, eyes glinting with newfound (and undoubtedly short-lived?) confidence. “Are you seriously going to leave like that?”

“Like what?” His wavy eyebrows rise and the edge of his lips curls up in a familiar way that basically told you that the jig is up. “Like what, baby? And for the record, you did look good underneath me.”

You can almost feel your ears blowing out smoke out of embarrassment. Did he just—

Well, two can play at that game.

You brace yourself harder then hit him with, “Well, if I looked so good, why don’t you do it again?”

He looks away, and you see the traces of his flush from his ear to neck becoming more and more vibrant.

Ah. There he is.

“A-aren’t you tired?”

With an unexpected gracefulness of a predator stalking its captured prey, you lean in close to his ear. “Not for you, I’m not.” Then you give him the most seductive look you can muster.

 He bites his lip and your eyes follow the movement. You watch as the gears turn in his head debating whether to be responsible and make you get some rest, or to give in to your temptation and give you what you want.

Breathing out shakily, he gently removes your grip from him and puts your hand on your lap. You look up at him in confusion. He smiles apologetically then gives you a tender kiss on the lips. “You need rest, [Name]. You had a long flight coming home.”

You huff and pout, conceding. “Okay… but I want my cuddles.”

He laughs softly at that. “And cuddles you will get.”

Cove then turns the overhead lights off in exchange for lampshade. Once settled under the covers, he also turns the remaining source of light off, and you immediately draw yourself to his warmth. His arms reach around you to pull you in closer. You sigh, content.

“I missed this. I missed you.”

Cove hums then gives you another affectionate kiss on the top of your head. He smiles as he pays attention to how perfect you feel against him, like two puzzle pieces finally being connected after so long of being apart.

“I missed you too, more that you’d ever imagine.”

You laugh lightly at that, giving a soft peck at his skin in front of you. Cove giggles, ticklish. “Not everything is a competition, Mr. Cove Holden.”

“Alright, alright,” he giggles, squeezing you closer to him. “Get some rest, [Name]. I love you.”

You smile to yourself as tiredness catches up to you and your eyelids become heavy. “I love—” You let out a small yawn that Cove also catches. You share another soft laughter, like two lovers sharing secrets under the blankets, a couple finally reuniting after a while of being apart.  “I love you, too.”

And with that, the two of you go into a peaceful slumber, with you vaguely thinking of getting back at him in the morning for not giving in to you earlier. Maybe he’ll be in for a surprise…

[gojos-thot-patrol]

And our first one yet, no less ;) (Oh, and btw, this is the tag list!! Reply to this post if you want to be tagged as these come out.)

Good Evening, my Dearest Reader! I hope this announcement finds you well. You may have noticed my excitement for the spooky season getting the better of me, what with the Vampire! Gojo and True Form! Sukuna works being posted an entire month ahead of schedule. Alas, what can I say? I'm in a love affair with all things spooky.

So of course I simply have to participate in Kinktober this year. As it's my first, we'll be starting small. Four one shots being posted every week of October, starting on the first, and ending on the twenty second, with a special bonus being posted on Halloween, just for you Darling!

But of course, that begs the question; Just what exactly will be on the menu? I'm so glad you asked.

WEEK ONE: INTOXICATING

Synopsis: Suguru has loved you since he met you. Or maybe lust is a better word. Either way, it never really mattered. You were a good girl who would never give a dirty fuck boy like him a chance. You were smarter than that. Even now, as you sit on his lap learning how to smoke for the first time, you'd never give him a chance. Right? Kinks: Pussy Drunk, Corruption, and Intoxication

WEEK TWO: FERAL NIGHTS

Synopsis: Ryomen always got what he wanted, it was a simple rule of life. And ever since he caught your scent, you were all that he wanted- your previous bond mark be damned. And you must have wanted him too. Why else would you keep your window open during your heat? Kinks: Omegaverse, Breeding, Marking, Dub-Con, and Infidelity

WEEK THREE: WHAT'S YOURS IS MINE

Synopsis: Satoru wasn't dumb. He saw the way you looked at his best friend. He picked up on the way you were always sure to laugh at his jokes, heard the name "Suguru" catch in your throat when it should have been "Satoru." And he saw the way Suguru coveted you, not even bothering to hide it. But, that was fine. Because Satoru thought of it too. Kinks: Cuckholding, Cum Play, Double Penetration, and Dumbification

WEEK FOUR: PATIENCE

Synopsis: Nanami was always calm and composed, never losing his cool. It was a gift that became particularly handy when you were writhing on his cock, begging him to move, please. And he wanted too- God knows he wanted too. But you looks irresistible when you were this desperate, and he wanted to savor every second of it. Kinks: Cock Warming, Daddy, Degradation, Praise, and Edging

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (but I also kinda wanted to)

Synopsis: It was supposed to be a fun little joke, a gag you and your friends indulged at your annual Halloween Party. Of course it wasn't going to work, no way a "ritual" you found on WikiHow of all places was really going to summon an Incubus. But, if that was the case, then who was the almost angelic looking man standing in your room? Kinks: Spectrophilia, Non-Con/Dub-Con, Mirror Sex, and Dacryphilia

The tag for this will be Trick-or-Kink 23. Hope to see you there ;)

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 8

Now we’re getting to the reason behind the title.

On the tagging, I HAVE REACHED MY HARD AND FAST LIMIT OF 50. I love the response this story has gotten. I do. I love you all. I love every reply, like, and reblog. It brings me so much joy, you don’t even know. But tagging is hard for my ADHD brain. I have gone up from 20 to 30 and finally 50 as my system improved but I think if I do any more than that I’ll go insane. So any future tagging requests will be ignored. Sorry.

The best way to keep update on these stories is follow me and set me on notifications. I rarely do a lot of reblogging these days (too busy churning out stories like whoa), so more often then not a post will be a story. I try to post at least once a day (some times twice if I’m trying to rush through the posting a bit like I did to make sure the Valentine fic got out in time without making people wait on Vamp!Eddie), just never at set time.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

*

When Eddie heard how Gethin had done it, he was starting wonder who the smart twin was, because it was brilliant.

The chemicals for developing film were kept in Miss Chen’s room and he took some quick pictures of Steve’s piece before promptly spilling some of the chemicals that the teacher had in her class room all over it.

It ATE the paper. Gethin had tried to mop it up before it got too bad. But alas, it was too late.

“Mr Hughes!” Miss Chen protested. “Please be more careful next time!”

Gethin apologize profusely. He begged her to give the poor student whose piece he had just destroyed an extra week to finish the project, because he had been soooo careless.

She agreed.

He ran out of her class with the chemicals he needed to develop the film in his camera.

Pictures he slipped into Eddie’s locker during lunch.

*

After school Eddie waited until the halls were empty before he opened his locker. He knelt down to pick them up and blinked. Steve was really good. The composition was sound and colors were great.

The page wasn’t even that scary. It was just of this boy walking up to a house in the dead of night. In one of the panels you could almost make out something watching the boy, but it was the vague sense of unease made it so you could tell it was going be a horror comic. It was good. And suddenly Eddie was pissed at Miss Chen for calling Steve out for this.

Especially since Eddie’s own comic was about slaying a dragon.

He shoved the pictures back into his backpack and slammed the locker shut.

“Well what have we got here?” a voice said from behind him.

Shit.

Eddie turned around slowly. There was Tommy H, Billy, and Kyle, standing there with their arms crossed.

“Hey, boys,” he said with a grin. “You looking to buy? I’ve got about four kilos.”

Tommy and Kyle looked at each other, nervously. They didn’t want to antagonize their drug dealer.

Billy ran his tongue over his teeth thoughtfully. “I just wanted to talk. I’ve been seeing Harrington hanging around you freaks lately and wanted to know why?”

Eddie folded his arms. “I get you’re new here, Hargrove, but your friends should have told you: I’m the king of picking up lost sheep. I like bringing people into my fold that the rest of this school has deemed outcasts. Steve Harrington has become one of those. And how could I resist such a tempting treat as the former king of Hawkins High?”

“You leave him the fuck alone, you hear me?” Billy growled.

“Or what?” Eddie asked. “You’ll do me like you did him? And then where will you get your weed? Because if you do I will make sure that I don’t sell to you or any of your little friends.” He wagged his finger as he indicated to Tommy and Kyle. “I’ll fucking cut off the entire basketball team. Don’t think I won’t. How long do you think you’ll be king then, Hargrove? When suddenly everyone’s supply dries up because you fucked with me?”

Kyle tugged on Billy’s arm. “Come on, man. Whatever your beef with Harrington is, it’s not worth this.”

Tommy just stood there looking Eddie in the eye.

“So what’s it going to be, Hagen?” Eddie asked. “You going to side with King Jackass here and alienate the whole fucking basketball team because you’ve got a hard on for Harrington? Or are you going to the smart thing and walk away?”

Tommy grabbed Billy’s other arm. “Let’s go.”

Billy wrenched his arms from both of them and stalked off.

“Run along, Tommy,” Eddie said making a shooing motion with his hands. “Go suck Hargrove’s dick.”

Tommy made to swing at Eddie, but Kyle stopped him. “Don’t do it, dude. He’s trying to get a rise out of you.”

Eddie grinned. He blew a kiss at Tommy and then walked off, a nervous energy humming in his veins.

He walked out to his van and found Steve waiting for him. Eddie smirked.

“You waiting for me, big boy?” he asked walking up to the other boy.

“I wanted to thank you for what you did about my art project,” Steve explained. “And then I saw Billy and Tommy and I got worried.”

Eddie patted his cheek. “You’re sweet, but I told you, I’m immune.”

Steve rolled his eyes.

“Plus, pretty boy,” Eddie said. “You won’t have to worry about that lot anymore. They came after me and I set them straight. If they want to keep buying weed, either they’ve got find someone new or leave you the hell alone.”

Steve sighed in relief. “So everything’s cool?”

“Cool as can be,” Eddie agreed. He opened the door and hopped into the van. “And I didn’t do anything to your project, Stevie.”

He saluted Steve and drove off, leaving behind a very confused, but very happy Steve Harrington.

*

Steve kept his eye on Tommy and Billy but by the end of the week there was no doubt that whatever Eddie had said them, made them back off.

“Hey, Steve,” Gareth said, nonchalant. “Did you know that there chemicals used in the art department for all sorts art related shit that can dissolve paper?”

Steve cocked an eyebrow at him. “You don’t say.”  

“Didn’t you now,” Brian said with a grin, “Gareth’s brother is a big photography nerd.”

“Oh, he must know Jonathan Byers, then,” Steve said, deliberately not taking their bait.

Gareth cocked his head to the side and hummed. “Maybe not. Different grades. But still could do, I suppose.”

Steve grinned. “Miss Chen did say it was a photography student that ruined my comic, maybe I should go thank Jonathan.” He winked at them and they burst out laughing.

Which was actually what Steve thought had happened when Eddie denied all knowledge of what happened. That Jonathan had recognized the scene of Steve on his way to Jonathan’s house and messed it up, worried Steve might get in trouble with the government.

But Gethin doing it made Steve sigh in relief. He already owe his life to Jonathan, owing him for the art project, too? That was too much for even Steve’s wounded pride.

Steve had already fobbed Nancy off earlier in the week because Jonathan had snitched.

She was practically screaming about being so careless. As if Steve would make the characters look like them. He had asked her if she had seen it herself and when she admitted she hadn’t, Steve told her to back off. Which lo and behold, she actually did.

“It’s bullshit Miss Chen even said anything,” Eddie growled. “It’s of this boy walking up to a house at night. It could’ve been of a boy going to pick up a girl on a date, but because Steve used muted tones and creepy vibes, she decided it was sad or some shit and threatened to call Steve’s parents.”

The other three boys looked at each other. “That is bullshit,” they all agreed.

Steve shrugged. “I changed to be about a lost little girl who connects with a social recluse and they become a family. If she gives me shit about that one, I’ll kindly let Chief Hopper know that Miss Chen thinks him and his adopted daughter’s story is toooo depressing for school.”

“I like the way you think,” Jeff said with a cackle.

Steve grinned. Silence descended as the boys ate their lunch. As they were packing up, he casually dropped a bomb on them.

“Miss Lucy wants me to try out for the school musical...”

“No way, dude!” Eddie said. Miss Lucy was the drama teacher. Her last name was one of those that looked easy on paper but really wasn’t. So she had all her students call her by her first name.

“I thought you were new to the whole drama thing,” Brian said.

“I am but she seems to think I’m good enough to tryout,” Steve said with a shrug.

“Are you going to do it?” Eddie asked in all seriousness.

Steve bit his lip. “I want to but I don’t want people to get mad at me if I do a get a part.”

Gareth’s brow furrowed. “Why would they be mad at you?”

Steve shrugged again. “That a newbie like me is taking away a roll from one of the more seasoned kids?”

“If that’s the case,” Jeff said, “then fuck them. You didn’t know you had a talent for it.”

Steve smiled warmly at them. “Thanks, guys.”

Eddie clapped him on the back. “You go get ‘em, tiger!”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, okay.”

He felt the warmth from where Eddie touched his back all day long. And he carried that feeling all the way through his audition.

*

“You are such chicken shit,” Eddie told Steve. The results were back for call backs and he was too afraid to look.

“I know, I know,” Steve murmured. “But I would rather walk through an entire pack of demodogs then look at that stupid piece of paper.”

“What the fuck is a demodog?”

Steve blinked. “Something the kids made up for their D&D campaign.” Which was true. Mostly.

“Uh-huh,” Eddie said, licking his lips. “You owe big time for this.”

“I’ll buy you dinner,” Steve promised.

“And it better be somewhere nice!” Eddie called back over his shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve grumbled.

Within seconds Eddie came flouncing back. “Bad news, Stevie...”

“I didn’t get called back?” Steve asked.

Eddie cackled. “You got called back for Charles Thomson. You’re going up against Kyle Carver.”

“Fuck.”

“Language, Mr Harrington,” Mr Hall, one of the swim coaches murmured as he walked by.

“Sorry, coach,” Steve said automatically. He turned back to Eddie. “He’s going to get it, isn’t he?”

“Kyle?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded. “Probably. Though it would be a serious miscarriage of justice if he does.”

Steve grinned. “Good thing you’re a fan of those. Maybe you start a letter campaign against bias casting in school plays.”

Eddie looked around to make sure there weren’t any teachers. “Fuck off, Harrington.”

Steve kissed his nose and ran off giggling. “See you later, Munson.”

Eddie stood in the hall being jostled by other students as he thoughtfully rubbed his nose.

*

Steve watched Kyle audition from the audience and was so sure Kyle had it in the bag. Until he opened his mouth to sing and what came out of his mouth was horribly off key.

“Mr Carver, are you all right?” Miss Lucy asked.

Kyle nodded and tried again. This time it was better, but no where near it was when he auditioned the first time.

“I must be coming down with a cold,” Kyle excused.

Miss Lucy frowned. “Your turn, Mr Harrington.”

Steve took a deep breath and let it out slow, like Eddie had taught him. He stepped up to the stage and turned around.

“You know, sometimes I think the general is speaking to me,” Steve recited his lines, his voice breaking on the last word. And then he used the scene to launch into the singing part of his audition.

Miss Lucy was humming and nodding as Steve finished up the song.

“Thank you, Mr Harrington,” Miss Lucy said. “Results will be posted on the drama room door tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Miss Lucy,” Steve said.

As he passed Kyle the boy hissed, “Suck up.”

Steve just shrugged. “Or maybe it’s just polite to thank someone for their time.” 

Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15  Part 16  Part 17 Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21

Tag list: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites @garden-of-gay @anaibis @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead  @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @jinxjinn @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @dangdirtydemons @lovelyscot  @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread

[andreafmn]

Speak - Chapter 5

Word Count: 3.2K

Story Description: Bella Swan was a disaster when Edward had left. Deciding she needed a little help, Charlie Swan receives with open arms his younger daughter (Y/N) Swan. She helps Bella during her depression and becomes inseparable from her long-lost friend Jacob. What she didn’t expect was falling for a hotheaded short-tempered silver wolf.

Chapter: 5/?

A/N: The long-awaited update is here!!!!!

This chapter is dedicated to @madcatlady for the hilarious ask. It honestly made me laugh 😂😂 I really wanted to make this more of an enemies to lovers (I still can) but soft Paul makes me too happy. Also, the ending for this was gonna be different but I made it into the next chapter If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories. You can request at any time any story or one-shot you desire. Hope you enjoy, and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST

If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here

<- Previous | Next ->

Chapter 5

(Y/N) had gone to bed with anger flowing through her veins. It made her burn up with rage, slowly bubbling up to the surface.

Bella had always been unconsciously selfish in her sister’s opinion. At least, she hoped it was unconscious. To (Y/N), her sister always found a way to make every situation about herself, and everyone allowed it. Her heartbreak had taken over her father’s life, threatened to take over their mother’s, and was slowly snaking its hands around hers. But Bella would not become the center of her life, she could not.

But the next morning, (Y/N)’s anger had seemingly dissipated. Even if Bella believed the world revolved around her, (Y/N) would not let hers do so. At the end of the day, it was Christmas – a day of happiness and forgiveness. She would enjoy it with or without her sister.

The smell of slightly burnt coffee filled her nostrils before she had opened her eyes and she knew her father was already up. Her excitement for the day was again replenished and she readied herself for a long afternoon. It was her first holiday back in the city of Forks, and the first Christmas she’d have in the town. Nothing would stand in the way of a good day.

“Morning, dad,” (Y/N) smiled at the flustered man. He had taken a sip of the scalding coffee. Not only did he burn his tongue, but he had to taste the awful batch. “Merry Christmas.”

“Oh, merry Christmas, honey. I really am a menace in the kitchen.”

“Thankfully not on the grill,” she chuckled. “Why don’t you sit while I make a new batch and a light breakfast?”

“I guess I’m still not used to having you girls here,” he sighed. “Normally I’d just go down to the diner and get some food there. And now that Bella’s like… like that, I’ve had to take care of the food again.” 

“Well, I’m here now. So don’t worry about that,” (Y/N) smiled. “We’ll just take it one day at a time and hope for the best. It’s the only thing we can do.” 

“Then we should get ready soon to go over to Billy’s house,” Charlie responded, resigned. “Were you able to at least convince Bella to come?”

“No. She’s as stubborn as ever.” 

“I really hoped she’d want to come. You both always enjoyed Christmas time.” 

(Y/N) shrugged from the stove, the pan she shook scraping slightly the iron grates. She had hoped that, at least for this holiday, Bella would put her family first. Alas, her teenage angst took over and she was once more glued onto the swivel desk chair, overlooking the backyard. All she wanted was for her family to be together during such a special holiday – especially one that promoted togetherness. But all Bella could do or think of was the idiotic boy that had broken her heart.

"Whatever," (Y/N) spoke abruptly. “She’s the one that’s missing out. If she wants to stay at home and wallow in self-pity, so be it. We cannot let her consume every part of our lives.”

“(Y/N), she’s your sister,” Charlie said. “She’s sad and we can’t just leave her behind.”

“It’s not even for a whole day, dad. She’ll survive a couple of hours of staring out of that window,” she whined. “It’s your day off. It’s Christmas. We’re not gonna spend today trapped in the house because Bella has a bad case of the blues.”

“(Y/N)…”

“Dad,” (Y/N) said sternly. “We are gonna go to Uncle Billy’s house. We are going to celebrate Christmas. Then, we will come back home and find Bella in the same spot. But we deserve — you deserve — to put her in the back of our minds for a couple of hours and enjoy ourselves. And that’s an order, sheriff.”

“Alright, you win, (Y/N),” Charlie chuckled slightly. “And thanks again for breakfast. I promise one day I’ll get the hang of it.”

“There won’t be any need whilst I’m here, dad.”

After a small round of chitchat and the background noise of cutlery hitting the ceramic plates, the two of them left for their respective rooms to get ready for the day. Before going back downstairs, (Y/N) popped into Bella’s room where she was not surprised to see her sister sat staring out her window.

Her sister looked pitiful. Chair bound and frail. Heartbreak in the simplest definition. There was not a single trace of the girl she had grown up with. There was a Bella before Edward and the one that was left barely counted as a person.

(Y/N) entered the room, a wrapped present in her hands. She sauntered towed her sister, unsure of what Bella’s reaction — or lack thereof— would be.

“Hey, Bells,” she spoke softly, unsure of where they stood after the conversation they had the night before. “I got you this cause, after all, it is Christmas. I know you don’t want to come with us, but I still wanted to get you something. You can open it, or not. It’s really up to you. But, merry Christmas, sis.”

Silence seemed to be the prevailing answer.

“So, is she finally gonna come?” Charlie asked as (Y/N) exited Bella’s room. “Did she have a change of heart?”

“Nope,” she answered – she wasn’t a miracle worker. “But that doesn’t mean we’re not gonna have a good time. Now, let’s go.”

As they drove down the streets to the reservation, Charlie and (Y/N) sang along badly to Christmas tunes. A white scenery blurred past them as they headed through the snow-covered streets of Forks, putting the older Swan daughter to the back of their mind. The air felt lighter, a weight lifted off their shoulders. They both felt like they could breathe, even if just for a little bit.

The red barn-like house came into view before they had realized that Forks was far behind them. As the truck rolled to a stop, Billy and Jake exited the house to greet their guests. A playful smile played on Jacob’s face when he saw his new girlfriend. A smile that Charlie Swan did not like.

“Now, (Y/N), I know that you two are now sort of together. But I don’t wanna see all that lovey-dovey stuff between you.”

“Dad,” she chuckled.

“No, seriously, (Y/N). I don’t wanna see it.”

“So, it’s okay as long as you don’t see it? Got it.”

“Don’t push it, kid.”

“Alright, dad. I’ll keep it low-key for you.”

With another giggle, (Y/N) stepped out of the cruiser, her hands packed with a bag filled with presents and a six-pack of beer. And from the back of the car, Charlie pulled the trays of food they had prepared.

“Here, let me help,” Jake told Charlie, grabbing hold of two of the four trays he was carrying.

Charlie tried his best to hide his feelings of slight anger toward the boy. He’d known him since he was a baby but seeing him get so close to his daughter unnerved him. Still, he answered, “Yeah, thanks, Jake.”

“Hey, Jake,” (Y/N) smiled, kissing Jake’s cheek.

“Hey, (Y/N).”

“Alright you two, keep it moving,” Charlie grumbled. “And, again, I don’t wanna see any funny stuff between you.”

He walked in front of them, saying hi to Billy as he walked into the house to put the trays down. Everyone could notice the annoyance on his face. As much as he loved Jake, it was one thing for him to be his best friend’s son; it was another for him to date his youngest daughter.

“How’ve you been, Billy?” (Y/N) asked as she made her way into the house and the man rolled inside.

“Very good, (Y/N),” he smiled. “So, Jake and you, when did that happen?”

She chuckled in response. “It started at the bonfire, but it’s been a long time coming. Wouldn’t you say?”

“Well, between you and me, you’ve always been my favorite of Charlie’s youngest daughters.”

“It’d be weird if I wasn’t.”

“I truly hope this union is of benefit to the both of you,” Billy said, placing a comforting hand on her forearm. “If it is meant to be, I’m sure your father will come around sooner or later.”

“Waiting for sooner rather than later,” she sighed. “It’s kind of hard to see where this is going when dad is breathing down our necks every time we’re in the same room.”

“He means well,” he chuckled. “Charlie’s very new to this whole parenting teenagers thing. It’s hard to see your kids grow up so quickly. But I’ll tell you what, I’ll keep him by the barbecue as much as I can so you two can have some alone time.”

“Thanks, uncle Billy.” 

In her happiness, (Y/N) missed Billy’s knowing gaze. He knew something neither of them did. Deep down, he knew the pair would not last long – there were other forces in play. But if this is what they wanted, for now, he would never interfere. Young love was hard to come by if that’s what this was.

They entered the kitchen and laughed as they witnessed Jacob’s pleading face. Charlie had not let down his menacing stare as he prepped the meat they would cook. Though his hands worked on the food, his eyes glared at the boy relentlessly.

“Hey, Charlie, got the grill up and running already,” Billy announced. “Why don’t we put this thing to cook already?” 

“But I’m not done yet.” 

“I think you are,” he chuckled. “Come on, let’s go.” 

Charlie grumbled as he left through the backdoor with Billy and back into the snow, leaving the two teenagers on their own. With a smile of mischief, Jake and (Y/N) crossed the small kitchen and were finally able to engage in a hello kiss.

“Hey,” she whispered as they parted from each other.

“Hey, back,” Jacob chuckled. “Your dad was close to shooting me there.” 

“Well, you did kiss his youngest daughter in front of him,” (Y/N) teased, wrapping her arms around his neck. “And you’re the first boyfriend I’ve introduced to him. Look how well that turned out for Bella.” 

“But you’re not Bella,” he said. “And I’m not Edward.”

“That is very correct,” she laughed before pecking his lips. “You’re way better.”

“You could say that again,” Jake grinned. “Also, how many boyfriends didn’t make the cut?” 

“Why? Are you jealous, Jake?” 

“Just want to know what I’m up against.” 

“Believe me, none of them match up to you.” 

Suddenly, the sound of a screen door startled them apart. Charlie walked in, the angry scowl still on his face. He muttered under his breath as he opened the drawers in the kitchen, finally finding tongs. And as he left once more, he shot them another glare.

The pair couldn’t help but burst out in laughter as they watched Charlie’s figure disappear through the door. They understood where the father was coming from. Opening himself to having another daughter get her heart broken was too much for a technically “new” father.

But as much as they understood him, it didn’t mean they would try too hard to make him comfortable. They were young, a little reckless, and very excited to be in a relationship – at least (Y/N) was.

As the adults chatted outside, cooking the meat and drinking beers, Jake and (Y/N) gravitated toward the couch, cuddling on the seat. The fireplace was on and the radio was set on a jazz station, playing a song neither of them knew.

“So,” (Y/N) spoke up, looking at Jacob from his chest. “I know we said we wouldn’t do gifts, but I got you something.”

“(Y/N), you promised,” he chuckled. “Although, I will admit I also got you a little something as well. You go first.”

(Y/N) stood up and went to get the wrapped gift she had placed behind the tree. She was excited. It was their first Christmas together ever, and more importantly, their first as a couple. She had dreamed of this moment since they were kids.

Jake followed behind, grabbing the bag he had packed his gift into. He was sure they had both gotten each other small things. They hadn’t been together for that long and there wasn’t anything riding in the presents.

“So, I know you’ve been saying for a while that you needed these for a while, and they were very hard to get.”

Jacob’s eyes were wide in surprise as he unwrapped the box in his hands. (Y/N) had gotten him a pair of Timberland boots with a steel toe. He had dropped one too many tools onto his foot whilst working on cars and he was in desperate need of these shoes.

“Wow, (Y/N)! This must have put a dent in your wallet.”

“It’s worth it,” she smiled into the hug he gave her.

“Well, here’s yours,” he tried to pull a smile, but he knew it wouldn’t even compare. “It’s not as good, but I didn’t have much time.” 

“That’s okay,” (Y/N) responded. She knew whatever he had gotten her would be meaningful and caring, a testament to who he was. And she was very confident in it until she finally saw it. “A… candle.” 

“It’s got a nice smell,” Jacob chuckled awkwardly. “I thought you’d like the smell… I know. It sucks.” 

“No. It’s, um, it’s nice.” (Y/N) was trying to hide her disappointment. She’d seen this type of candle. They sold them at the gas stations in the area as passersby souvenirs. “I’ll put it by my bed and I’ll think about you every time I light it. I love it. Thanks.” 

“And I will basically live in these boots,” he boasted. “I love them.” 

“I’m glad.” 

It was hard for (Y/N) to keep her dismay at bay. She smiled, talked, and laughed through dinner, but it was hard. Jacob could have gotten the candle that morning – zero thought and preparation had gone into the gift. She would have preferred he stuck to nothing. Even that would have been better since he would have kept the promise.

Instead, she was left with a gas station candle that smelled like apples that had been stuffed into a red bag. She was allergic to apples. They made her throat itch and her eyes swell, it had been years since she had even smelled one. Though thankfully, this one was laced with a fake fruit smell, she couldn’t wait to store it in the deepest corners of her closet.

Whilst they were enjoying the pumpkin pie she had made, a knock resounded through the door. The four people in attendance stared at each other.

“Are you expecting anyone else?” Charlie asked, wiping off the whipped cream that had accumulated on his mustache. “Though it’d be just us tonight.” 

“We aren’t,” Billy responded. “It’s a bit late for that.” 

“I’ll check who it is,” (Y/N) offered, quickly standing. “It’s probably a tourist that got lost. You guys carry on.” 

As the men went on with their conversation, (Y/N) went to see who was at the door. It was Christmas night, whilst it was snowing. If it was a tourist, they were crazy to be out at that time.

But when she opened the door, she was surprised that not only was it not a tourist, but it was Paul Lahote standing there in shorts and a tank top. His hair was dusted with white snowflake specs, the ones on his skin melting away right after contact.

(Y/N) was quick to close the door behind her. If there was anything she didn’t want it was for Jake and Paul to get into an altercation with her father and Billy around.

“Paul,” she chuckled as she pulled her jacket closer to her body. “What’re you doing here?” 

“I was actually hoping to run into you here,” he responded. “This may sound weird, but I, uh I got you something.” 

He handed her a rectangular box beautifully wrapped in red metallic paper with a white bow for decoration. She could tell he had taken his time to wrap the present – or had asked someone skilled to do it for him. By the cover alone she knew he had put care into the present.

“Can I open it now?”

“Please,” he smiled. “Go ahead.” 

Carefully, she undid the paper, not wanting to even rip it, and she pulled a long box from inside. When she lifted the lid, she gasped. Inside a gorgeously crafted dreamcatcher, with cream feathers and colorful beads rested. Attached to the rim, a wooden wolf totem was attached. It was simple, it was thoughtful, it was beautiful.

“Oh, Paul, it’s stunning,” she said. “But you didn’t have to. I didn’t get you anything.”

“That’s okay,” he chuckled. “I just saw it at a local shop, and it reminded me of you. The wolf totem, it’s for protection. The wolf is supposed to help you manifestmore protection, better instincts, and stronger relationships in your life.” 

“Seriously, Paul, it’s beautiful.”

 Without knowing it, she was beaming. The surge of happiness that grew inside her was unfathomable, and she found herself wrapping him in a hug. This stranger had gotten her a more thoughtful gift than her boyfriend and friend.

Paul stiffened at first, surprised at the sudden show of affection. But instantly melted into her embrace, wrapping his own arms around her.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he smiled to himself. But the moment was cut short. From far inside the woods, a wolf called out to his pack, saying it was time to change shifts. “Uh, that was all. I just wanted to give you this. I should be heading back home now.”

“Oh.” Was she disappointed? “Then, I promise one day I’ll repay the favor.” 

“There’s really no need.” 

“I insist,” she said with a bright smile. “Seriously, Paul. This actually means a lot. Thank you.” 

“Sure thing,” Paul smiled, running his hand through the back of his neck. “I’ll see you around. And, Merry Christmas, (Y/N).” 

Before she could answer him, Paul seemed to vanish. (Y/N) couldn’t see his body anywhere close. So, she spoke to the air, “Merry Christmas, Paul.” 

(Y/N) was quick to hide the gift in the car, under her seat. If she went back into the house with it, she was sure it would only cause discord with Jacob and her father. It was better if neither of them knew about one of the best gifts anyone had ever gotten her.

“Who was it?” Charlie called out when he saw his daughter walking back into the house. “You were out there for some time.” 

“Oh, just a couple of tourists that got lost leaving the rez.” 

“Tourists?” Jacob questioned. “Today of all days?”

“It was a newlywed couple, on a honeymoon road trip.” 

“Mmm, young love,” Billy smiled toward (Y/N). It made her question if he had seen who she was actually speaking to. “What a great gift it is.” 

Taglist: @winter-soldier-101@zheezs14 @a-sifu-hotman @sunflowerleii @DyslexicCatterpillar @Blackbluerose666 @slutforsainz @kortniec696 @xcastawayherosx@minhaimaginacao @bluebirbnamedJay @sirenheadenby @andreiaafaria @bluetreecloud20 @valejewel @nogitsune-the  @user0ur0mom  @skyesthebomb @swidkid @avis15 @honeylovemoon @wonieeee @edwardssugarmommy @nyenye @sugajar @lovel-blog @witchofhawkins @Six-Call @then-worship-at-my-altar@ems-alexandra @blueshoelacess @Nyctophilia710 @rosalie-whitlock @nocturnalherb16 @this-is-a-bad-idea @esposadomd @locokoca @volturiwolf @spookyqueen @gh0stgirl33 @catgirlpwr @nolaxox @klf1999 @krazyk99 @ilikepunsbeth @adaydreamaway08 @cinffy23 @paodemorangol1l1 @hufflepuffobsessedwithmarvel @toomanythoughts33 @jrosefangirl @queereddie @Missvicious @sugasthreedollarkookie @laylaskywalker @fandomonetwo @fruitylilfuck @a-slut-for-Loki-Bucky @honeywxter @haroldpotterson

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Hi! I'm the anon who originally asked you to tag your asks, and I just want to say you shouldn't have to apologize to those mean anons. This is your blog and you can post whatever you want. I'm really grateful that you were kind enough to tag your asks so that they can be filtered, but if those anon can't appreciate you going out of your way to do that, they should just unfollow you and find another way to see heritage posts. No one should be berated for using a feature their blog came with. Answer as many asks as you want and ignore those hateful anons. You're awesome for running this blog and you should be able to interact with your followers, especially if they want to interact with you.

this is such an articulately worded ask and I appreciate it, thank you😭

and like the prev anon wasn’t really mean, but I just normally am able to come up with a better and more eloquent or funny response to those kinds of asks but I just. don’t. have. the. energy rn lol

no but I appreciate what you said, especially coming from you! and yeah I did legitimately spend hours tagging and mass editing all of my posts to make a cohesive tagging system, so I thought I solved the problem lol but alas

[shwarmii]

how can you like drunk angst over first kiss?? 🥺

anon is regarding this post here, specifically my tags

characters discussed belong to @dakotawritesif / @disenchantedif

omg, so easily lol

bc its not just drunk angst, it is drunk angst about knowing their ex is gonna DIE, UNNATURALLY, AND SOON and pining/having never made up with them

but also im an asmr/audio-roleplay connoisseur*, so like, uh, also the following here. yeah. this primes me up to LOVE drunk ex scenario regret/pining shit lol (you'll have to excuse all these audios being men btw, i have a soft spot for deep voices and there isnt many deep-voiced women VAs in the audio-roleplay community (unfortunately foR MEEEE UGHH), much less many that have a video involving this niche Drunk Ex trope anyway lmao rip (same with the audios all being either "for Anybody" or "for Females". i don't currently have any "for Males" in this niche, even tho im the type of enby that listens to all three types of "for [you]" audios. alas. boo hiss))

none of these are "Luci-Inserts" btw, moreso "Evidence of why OF COURSE I AM MORE HYPED FOR DRUNK HALLWAY OVER FIRST KISS", like a vision board kinda sorta lmao

When Your Ex Drunk Calls You (I Miss You) (Slurred Speech) (Funny) (ASMR) (M4A).. (Fun fact: this VA is Scottish. also M4A = Male For Anyone, not just M4M (male for male) or M4F (male for female))

(this one is by the same Scottish VA) When You Drink With Your Ex (Kissing) (Exes to Lovers) (Drunk) (Regret) (Wholesome) (M4A) (ASMR)

(more of this Scottish VA bc he makes me laugh) When Your Crush Drunkenly Confesses To You (Singing Idiot) (Taking Care Of Him) (Silly) (ASMR) (M4A) (bonus there is a morning-after part two to this one yay)

Your Drunk Best Friend Wants You Gor Valentines [M4A] [Tsundere] [Confession] [Sober Listener] (and this one has a part two about the morning-after too)

ASMR Voice: I Should Have Told You [M4A] [Drunk Voicemail] [Ex-boyfriend] [Missing you] [Regret]

Audio Roleplay for Women | "Orbit" | Drunken Confession

Audio RP: Your Ex-boyfriend Asks For Another Chance [M4A] (not drunk but i love this one) (also it has a part two as well yayyy)

this one ((M4A but he does say you have a "pretty face") bc i do like Luci being upset someone is going to hurt the MC) and this one ((M4F) because i like the frustration lmao rip) also fit the vibe but neither are drunk or exes lmao rip

like, you would think as someone who is chronically ill to the point that my meds say "absolutely no alcohol (and one used to say no weed, idk if im still on that one, id have to go check)" that i would not give a shit about drunk scenarios buT I DO LOVE IT IN FICTION SO MUCH. my irl friends also like getting drunk on/off, or high, and my forced sobriety due to meds (and also family history, let's be honest. i do come from a long line of addicts, apparently, best i dont get involved, and i never have been) means i get to play Designated Driver pretty often. so i do recognize some realities/fantasties in the scenario. but also, god, i love the trope because it allows for such forced vulnerabilities, i fucking love whump fics, and a drunk ex fic is really just a whump fic with no bruises

and, ngl, i do think it is more likely we will get a First Kiss pov somewhere down the line if it loses than i think we will get a Hallway pov if it loses

plus, they were like what, 10?? 11??? idk how old they were when Luci/MC got together. but i know these fuckers are fresh out of high school and Luci is getting drunk, which means biTCHES ARE UNDERAGE DRINKING (which is an interesting characterization for Luci that i think reveals a lot about the Rivera parents as well as Luci's connections to wealth/alcohol), so there is that drama of "hide, hide, hide!!" if nothing else

and, again, then there's not only the angst of "ah, my ex-partner and/or -best friend" and the wanting to make up platonically/romantically but there is also the angst of "i knOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET MURDERED SOON AND IM NOT READY TO GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BUT I DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS" kind of "lost time", "call for rain-check until you can't" angle too. plus, i could see Luci being protective or frustrated or terrified, there are so many fun angles no matter the platonic/romantic additional feelings involved. and, because of how this pov works, there isnt going to be a kiss or anything happening. so it's just going to be slow-burn (to friends or lovers, idk your mc) and pining (platonic pining is a thing), i love that for me specifically lmao

but i do, like, get it. i get what you mean. if i thought this ask was mean-spirited, i wouldve deleted it and not answered; but i read this as "lol yeah that is fucked of me huh lmao you right". bc, YEAH, first kiss is romantic, drunk in your shared hallways is NOT lmao rip but i dont care if its romantic or not, i care that its making my guts get all twisted up. and the angst of (1) drunk ex that needs to taken care of (or needs to run away from you, either or) (2) thinks youre going to be murdered/in an accident and die soon and (3) may/may not still be in love with you and (4) knows they dont have enough time to reconcile with you and make-up for lost time... ngl, that is going to impact me more than a first kiss. im ready for the tragedy. fucking love this kinda shit

also i have my own hcs about my mc, Giselle "Gigi" Kraven, and Luci Rivera's first kiss. so. that probably also plays a role in all this bUT HEY!! IM STILL TRYING FOR THE 50/50 LMAO RIP WE ARE HELPING EACH OTHER, MY COMRADE 🤝 YOU GET (DOOMED) FLUFF AND I GET (ALSO DOOMED) DRUNK ANGST, THAT'S A WIN-WIN LOL

*i would like to add: i have no idea if any of these VAs have drama or something. i dont pay attention to the fandoms, except vaguely for Redacted Audios because of the theories and world-building happening there (which the video here doesnt have much to do with), but otherwise i am so fucking ignorant bc i do not look these people up, i just watch their videos. i have been burned too many times by the Steven Universe fandom and other such communities and whatnot to get involved in fandoms i am only casually into, so i just only stick my nose into fandoms/creators i am die-hard into and dont delve into the rest, thanks for understanding if i may be out of the loop ✌️

[rainbowsky]

hi rainbowsky, love your blog and your very articulate and sane view of things. It’s been very calming and comforting when there’s so much noise (and hate) in the world. So, thank you!

Curious your take on wyb wearing a bandana hanging from his left belt hook, at the Shu Uemura event today. And not a designer bandana, like the Chanel one he had on his backpack on recent trip to Japan.

I immediately thought of 1970s San Francisco gay culture, men would signal their orientation by hanging them from left side, right side, back pocket (L/R). Not thinking too much about color significance since red is Shu Uemura’s brand color. I don’t know anything about the new ad campaign he’s doing with them, but 1970 and 1971 were on 2 posters behind where he was seated.

It just flashed on me so I’d thought I’d ask. 🧐 🤡

Hi Hellopedey! Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

Inquiring minds want to know: is DD trying to signal to the world that he wants to stick his fist up their ass for Shu Uemura?

You aren't the only person to take note of this. I've seen people mentioning hanky code in the tags of reblogs of my post of the photos from that event, and I've seen people talking about it on Twitter, too. It's become quite a topic since the event.

This is a question that has come up a few times in the past, but alas - it's often impossible to find old posts on Tumblr, so rather than being able to point to my previous post about it I will just re-answer.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Long story short: I don't believe for one hot second that DD is using hanky code. There are a lot of reasons I feel this way, and I'll get to that in a minute, but the number one thing I want to bring home for people is that:

Everyone is allowed to wear hankies without assumptions being made about their sexual activity/preferences.

Including you, Hellopedey, and every other reader. Maybe that's not as much of a relief to some readers as it would be to those who happen to be queer and heavily sexualized by others, but it should take a load off some minds. 😅

You know that old saying, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar*?" Well, sometimes a hanky is just a hanky. I'd go so far as to say that a hanky is almost always just a hanky. Even if worn by a gay man.

*Incorrectly attributed to Freud, the origin of that quote is actually unknown.

Here are just a few reasons it's obvious to me DD isn't signalling (and I can't believe I have to say this, because it seems obvious to me):

Location, location, location. Please remember that hanky code is used when people are looking for sex. DD is at a brand event. He's not looking for sex.

His outfit is likely put together by a stylist, and that stylist is unlikely to be trying to hook him up with people for sex.

Hanky code isn't much of a Thing with young people these days. There's no need for it, since now all anyone needs to do to hook up with someone based on preferences is tick off a few boxes on Grindr or other apps (even in China).

Hanky code is pretty Western-centric. It's unclear whether it's even used in China.

As was discussed in the notes, bandanas are popular in hip hop fashion and in other fashion styles DD often wears.

Hankies are a very widely/wildly popular fashion accessory worn by people from all walks of life. Both GG and DD have worn hankies a lot, including for their fabulous Happy Camp dance, and in this context, it really is just a fashion accessory.

I'm going to say this as gently as possible, because I get it that people are just being clueless and oblivious, and that they don't intend to offend, but it really tweaks something in me as a gay person that so many fans are casually willing to make the assumption that DD is sexually signalling at work.

This goes back to the whole oversexualization in the fandom thing that I often lament.

I think fans - especially turtles - get so used to scrutinizing everything for signs and signals of GG and DD's sexual and romantic proclivities that common sense and GGDD's basic humanity are often overlooked. Fans could also stand to do a bit more to reflect on how their behavior and attitudes might (unintentionally) come across as offensive and homophobic* to queer people.

*Not saying this is where you were coming from, Hellopedey, but I hope all fans will reflect on it.

Please read this post for more info on that, because it's important.

PS] For those looking for something salacious about GG and DD, how about checking out the lyrics for the song they danced together to on Happy Camp? That's a pretty racy song for a couple of 'straight' guys to be dancing together to. 😅

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies!

Anonymous asked:

I didn't realize it was possible to filter without tags. Thank you!

No problem, Anon! I’m glad we could help. Have a nice day!

Anonymous asked:

Hnnng…booba…

(this is about this art)

Hehe yeah…

I was looking at my first sketches of fem!Azul recently, and wow I draw her boobs bigger and bigger every single time. She wasn’t supposed to be this big… but alas.

Anonymous asked:

I feel like 2 bottoms and 1 top is more fun if the top has an extra dick situation going on, like 2 tops 1 bottom is great because humans come with AT LEAST two holes perfect for taking dick, and sometimes more 😌✨ so basically Ortho is the master dom of them all, but like, we already knew this ♥️

First of all, YES, this is usually our reasoning as well for preferring 2 tops 1 bottom, it’s just easier to navigate the holes and all lol But also you made such a good point??  Ortho absolutely would be able to have multiple of those, as many as he needs in fact! And also have a lot of different kinds of stimulation… wow, that’s OP. Ortho, your niichan created an unstoppable master dom…

Anonymous asked:

I just saw the Jellyfish post and the image of Silver bowing and pleading for others to golden shower him, so good

Lillia would love this, he trained his son so well, and he will of course give his cute son his pee as a treat

(this is about this post)

You imagined it!! I’m so happy, Anon. But also, sorry for that… (but also, you are welcome)

Poor Silver doesn’t even realise how it looks, oof… Lilia would almost pass away out of the sheer excitement and pride he felt at that moment.

Anonymous asked:

Kalim and idia would be a funny ship because idia could not handle how happy and positive Kalim is during the entire time they do it including aftercare

Awww, don’t be silly, Idia, what else should he do while doing it, cry?

Facts, Anon. Absolute facts. Kalim always behaves like this is the best moment of his life and it’s all about how awesome it is for him to be with Idia and to do what they are doing right now!!! How does one even react to that?..

But also I’m not sure if Kalim knows how to do aftercare... He is very used to just falling asleep afterwards and then suddenly waking up after a nap to continue the cuddles. Idia would suffer either way because he would try to carefully run away while Kalim is asleep… instantly waking him up and prompting him to start cuddling him with the widest smile possible!

Anonymous asked:

Hey Ryu! Hope you're having a nice day.

Real quick, what would Ortho do if he was replacing?

(I was doing some stupid shit on c.ai and it just popped into my head.)

What if Idia had a lover (you can use Azul or Lilia for this cuz we ship it. Or any other top that fits this scenario) and they died so Idia, just like he did with Ortho, tried to bring them back to life? Bc of this he became so possessive in an unhealthy way over them, shutting away the world like he did before, but that includes Ortho.

Hi Anon! I hope you’re having a nice day too :)

Ohh, interesting; honestly, it kind of sounds like an anxiety that Ortho could have. Similarly to how he usually treats Idia being in a relationship with someone: he is very happy, excited and supportive, but also very jealous because he actually really doesn’t want to share Idia with anyone.

In a way, I think he could make peace with Idia being with someone by thinking that what they have with Idia is special and totally different from what Idia and his boyfriend have. So if Idia’s boyfriend suddenly passes away, and Idia grief pushes him to shut away the world and focus on recreating that person, Ortho would feel horrible on many levels: both because of Idia pushing him away and because of Idia doing for that person something that was supposed to be special and their thing. And even though Ortho would recognise that Idia is hurting, and it’s probably selfish of him to be so against it, he might even try to act supportive, like “isn’t it cool, there will be the second one like me”, but he would probably hate that thing. I don’t know, I feel like it would end badly lol

Anonymous asked:

do you have any thoughts/ideas about a shroudswap au, in which ortho lived and it was idia who died? how do you think a human ortho like that would turn out?

Oof, I wonder if he would be better or much worse than Idia… I feel like Idia tortures himself for the most part (mentally), but with Ortho, even though he would still torture himself because of guilt, could also be more of a danger to others. At least because he is less secluded and more sociable in general.

Hmmm.

Ortho was younger than Idia when the incident happened + he isn’t as insanely skilled as him, so I don’t think he would be able to build a robot and write an AI as fast as Idia (even for Idia it took a couple of years), but he would still try to do it. I think it would be his work-in-progress at the age of 16; he would just have a bunch of junk on his floor + an android torso with a silicon face that doesn’t move, because it’s not done yet. Ortho would still talk to it a lot.

I think Ortho would combat his grief and guilt by thinking that it’s up to him to honour Idia’s legacy, and he’ll talk about it a lot: about how he tries his best to be a good technomagician and a mechanic, and he would indeed be the best at his dorm, but not quite as good as Idia would’ve been in Ortho’s head.

Ortho would almost look like a normal guy, somewhat similar to Ace in the way he acts at times, but there would always be something uncanny about him because he is never 100% genuine and his heart is clearly closed from others. He would be the type to say “what? I’m friends with everyone” but have zero people whom he actually trusts. He prefers to talk to his half-built robot-brother more anyways.

Now, what I mean when I say that he is more likely to be dangerous is that while Idia is in terrible shape and his coping mechanisms aren’t the best, Ortho would bottle up his emotions more, as if he can’t allow himself to grieve properly because it is his fault. It would become very clear that he is still not over it once something triggers him and he becomes super resentful towards everyone and everything that isn’t Idia, or rather an idea of Idia in his head that gets more vague with every single day because he gets older, and he hates himself for “losing” him that way too. I think Ortho could express this frustration by being destructive because he would be in a very bad mental space…

Wow that turned dark lol

Anonymous asked:

I mean, that can be incorporated too!

My idea is that Azul is surrounded by a faceless mob and he is forced to sign contract after contract. None of them are for his benefit, though, they are basically trading away any and all of his skills and talents while the crowd laughs at him. After a few times, the contracts start ripping away body parts that correspond to his talents (I.e. singing would be his vocal cords, swimming would be his tentacles/legs, etc.) until there’s barely anything left of him. Whatever is left is then served up as delicious takoyaki.

I swear I do like Azul.

(this is about Azul’s danganronpa-style execution)

Wow, that sounds perfect, Anon. destroyed by the very thing that empowered him in the first place and reduced to what the most helpless form there is available to him: an actual snack.

I would love to see it.

Anonymous asked:

Did you watch the lyric video for No Me Diga or this one: https://youtu.be/UrFH772ytzM?si=yjd1dMNYhAPp6Ybf because the linked version makes the song worse with the visuals 😂😂😂😂😂

Yep, I watched this one lol

[xxavengingangelxx]

Long Way From Home 8/8

Ya'll know the drill. I assume this isn't ya'll's first rodeo when it comes to reading this but alas, because it's a dark fic, I will post triggers again. MDNI, 18+ TRIGGERS: Implied/attempted suicide, self-harm, torture, brainwashing, physical abuse, mind fuckery, Stockholm syndrome-related mental gymnastics, trauma bonding, mentions of foster care, threatened/implied/referenced rape, EXTREMELY dubious consent, flashbacks of torture, female being drugged. Self-hate in this one :( If I miss, any let me know, please! DARK FIC!

This fic is almost coming to an end...kind of. At an end! This will be the first part of the series. After MW3 comes out, I can start posting part 2. Now I've decided on an ending and just know I'm not a believer in happy, fluffy endings because that's just not real life. Read my other Graves/Reader fic As the; Rush Comes to see ;) @josieguts because they asked to be tagged :)

Thanks for all the love! I was so scared putting this out there.

-

Back on base, you learned that each Shadow kept track of how many enemy combatants they’d killed on the inside of their vests. They’d taken yours and proudly added two tally marks before giving it back to you.

One Shadow mentioned the possibility of you being charged with war crimes. Graves mentioned not to worry about it. The military thought you were dead and his company was in the process of creating another identity for you. Now, once you were on paper in Shadow Company, you had to be a little more careful about how you handled that anger in the field.

War crimes? You?

What did Graves say again? Don’t worry about it. Just another reason to stick around.

-

So they taught you less lethal forms of combat. The training had you on a hair-trigger and while you responded immediately to threats or attempts to grab you with nonlethal interventions, it was made clear to you that any threat on your life should be met with deadly force.

It got to the point to where you could seriously hurt someone with just your hands despite your small size. Add a sidearm or even a knife and that made you deadlier. Enemy combatant men especially just rubbed you the wrong way. They way they looked at you. Despite your gear they knew you were female. They’d smirk until they met your glare. It had gotten to the point to where just looking at an enemy made them do a double take. Your glare had that much hatred in it.

But they never limited your access to weapons, sidearms, or knives. Because they wanted you alive.

“But no more killing people just because, ‘kay, darlin’?”

-

But you kept at it, your anger getting the better of you in the field more often than not. Before you knew it you counted 14 tally marks on the inside of your vest. Shadows had added each one proudly. The more the more pieces of shit you killed, the less pieces of shit were left alive on Earth according to them. Graves didn’t care, either. These were terrorists you were eliminating.

It wasn’t really a problem because you were technically dead. No one could trace those deaths back to you. If someone tried hard enough, they’d be traced back to the only female operator in Shadow Company. You didn’t have a real name. You stuck out though. You were a lot smaller than the rest of the crew and you were the only one with pink accents to your gear. Despite the heavy equipment, your female figure was still obvious.

While raising hell in the Middle East you’d picked up a nickname. Several, actually. Because you were female, Middle Eastern enemy combatants, mostly men, had of course attached genderized terms to the epithets they gave you. Angel of Death was one. But the one that stuck and the one that Shadow Company picked up and labeled you with? Ice Queen, IQ for short.

Naturally, these sexist Middle Eastern enemy soldiers had assumed you and Graves to be a married couple because they could not imagine a woman your age not being married and not being under the control of a man. Graves had picked up his own monicker: Blue-Eyed Devil. Blue eyes were rare out here and so Graves also stuck out in a way.

The Blue-Eyed Devil, his wife the Ice Queen, and his men, Shadow Company were seen as terrorists in these lands and all of you had bounties on your heads.

-

Graves got less physical with you because you were entirely cooperative. There was not even the slightest disobedience left in your body or your mind. As far as you knew you and Graves were one. You were so far gone from your previous self but you didn’t know it. You’d forgotten who you once were. That woman had died long ago.

Graves sometimes still got physical with you, though. Just not like he used to. Instead of inflicting pain to make you suffer, Graves inflicted pain to elicit pleasure.

Some nights Graves was almost brutal. He’d have you on your knees before him, his fist grasping your soft hair in such a strong grasp that side of your head ached when he eventually let you sleep. You’d feel tears escaping from your eyes which were shut so tight it almost hurt as he quite literally fucked your throat.

And you…

You

Got

Off

On

It.

Graves could hold you down in bed and fuck you so hard you stayed in bed a little longer because you were nervous that others would notice you walking differently.

But that was okay. Because whenever he pulled that shit, you'd edge him mercilessly. Over and over.

But sometimes he became physical in an entirely different way. Sometimes you and him engaged in that delicious, slow burn sex that lasted…and lasted. It would leave you both hot, sweaty, and drowsy. Graves would lie in bed with you and just hold you sometimes. He’d listen as your heartrate went from rapid and erratic to slow and lethargic. He liked resting his head on your chest in between your breasts as you laid on your back and tried to fight off sleep. But he was like a warm weighted blanket and more often than not sleep won.

Sleep would often conquer you both those nights.

The room you shared was always private. Off limits. But you couldn't help but wonder what you both looked like. You under Graves. Sometimes your legs would still be spread with him between him. Sometimes he would just lie over you, legs and all. His face, especially his cheekbones would be colored red from your recent sexual efforts. His hair tousled and ruffled. He'd be on your chest trying to catch his breath while you ran lazy fingers through that messy sex hair. Your fair skin wouldn't be able to hide your post-orgasm blush, either. Your other arm would be rubbing his arm while your long hair fanned out behind you on the bed.

-

That mask you wore around everyone but Graves? It started to come off around Shadows. You saw them as older brothers, really. And they protected you like no one’s business.

One of those edgy, overly eager enemy soldiers had gotten the drop on you once when you had been busy trying to pull intel off an enemy device.

Said enemy combatant had been able to knock you off your feet. And climbed on top of you. He got four punches in, shattering your goggles and making the fragments scatter while some scratched your face.

Four hits.

Shadows were never far behind. You were never alone. The enemy soldiers had a nickname for Shadows, too. Hellhounds. Shadows were quick to pull this man off you. They dragged him off somewhere and tortured him slow.

They’d let you kill him.

You’d taken off the shattered goggles. They hurt your face anyway seeing as this motherfucker had caused your face to be cut in several places from the sharp plastic when they broke from his punches. You’d stopped wearing a mask around Shadows long ago. You approached said enemy and shot him point blank.

He made the 15th kill. Shadows added one more tally to your vest when you got back to base.

-

Addicted. That was the only term you would use to describe how you felt towards Graves and how he felt towards you.

Neither of you could function without the other for long.

You had no idea what you would do if something happened to him. Or if for some reason you were taken from him.

While on base you got whatever the hell you wanted. That top-of-the-line computer to run code with your hacker Shadow friend? Bought and paid for. Noice-cancelling headphones to blast music through? Done. “Just don’t run your hearing, ‘kay, sweetheart? I need you sharp,” Graves said. Graves loved showing off that he had a female on his team that was all his and so when you wanted dark pink highlights in your hair? Go for it.

You remembered your past, dead identity reading about trauma bonding and wondering if Graves felt bad about all the shit he’d put your through before you started cooperating. Sometimes when a captor started feeling for a captive they might look back and feel…uncomfortable…unsettled with how they had treated said captive in the past. You noted how Graves had not inflicted any of the torture you’d suffered since you got to his black site. He’d had his men do it. And he’d turned away more than a few times preferring they drug you than keep inflicting pain.

Sometimes you’d catch Graves looking at you. Not in a sexual way. Not a predatory way. Not in an I own you type of way. You couldn’t quite describe it. But you wondered if it was because he missed your past self’s easy smile and joking manner. They way you could always pull him into conversation no matter that kind of shit day he’d had.

But that wasn’t you anymore and you had no plans of returning to that persona.

You still hadn’t smiled.

And you still barely talked.

-

“Konni Group,”

“What?”

“Konni Group,” Graves repeated.

“What’s that?” you asked, attempting to catch your breath. You were laid on his chest this time, feeling sleepy after one of those slow burn sex episodes.

“The reason might have to team up with an old foe,” Graves responded.

[onekisstotakewithme]

20 questions for fic writers 💜

tagged by the lovely @mihrsuri (I think more than once, although the other time was some time ago... thank you for the tag! 🥰💜)

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 221, not counting unrevealed ones from exchanges

2. what's your total ao3 word count? 1,417,178 words

3. what fandoms do you write for? Right now, mostly M*A*S*H and The West Wing, though I do occasionally dabble in other fandoms (Star Trek TOS, For All Mankind, etc.)

4. top five fics by kudos? 1) Ties That Bind - Star Trek (Spirk) 2) a wild call and a clear call (that may not be denied) - Star Trek (Spirk) 3) Uncharted Territory - M*A*S*H (Beejhawk) 4) ye who are weary, come home - M*A*S*H (Punnihawk, Charles/Donna, canon pairings, etc.) 5) you were meant for me - M*A*S*H (Punnihawk)

5. do you respond to comments? Not usually. I feel pretty guilty about it and I do try and go for a thank you note in the A/N at the end of each story/chapter, but my spoons are pretty limited. I do however cherish each and every comment, and if I have regular commenters, your username is probably carved into my heart. 🥺

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uhhh. That is a good question, because even if I write in angsty/bittersweet scenes, the endings are usually more hopeful or happy.

I guess my best answer to that is "let's do some living (after we die)" only because it's immediately followed by canonical character death. lmao.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? There are any number of stories you could pick for this one, haha. But I guess if I had to pick (twist my arm, why don't you!), then it's probably either "ye who are weary, come home" (OT3 Endgame!!!), OR "Make the Leap" (this one takes place on January 21st, 2007, so that and the title should make it self explanatory 😉)

8. do you get hate on fic? Not... really? Sometimes I'd get comments complaining that I should be writing a different pairing 🤷🏻‍♀️ (which..???) but I don't get much "engagement" to begin with usually, so I'm grateful that what I do get is for the most part positive. 🥰

9. do you write smut? Yep. Nothing super hardcore and not very often (because I am a self-conscious girlie haha) but I will write it. Posting it is another story. I want to do more, it's just getting over myself to do it. (if anyone has advice on how to proceed with getting over my self-consciousness, I'm ALL ears).

10. craziest cross over? I once, in my misspent youth, wrote a crossover between Downton Abbey and Titanic (it's still buried in the depths of my FFN page, alas it is unfinished.)

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know, no.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! My one M*A*S*H Fic, "Here's Hoping We Meet Now and Then" (aka BJ puts the "GOODBYE" stones together with the help of the rest of the 4077) was translated into German by a dear friend of mine, Pat. And you can read that here.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? A few times in the distant past. Once recently (I'm sure you'll all see it soon enough!!) 😈... in general, I love the idea of getting to write with my fellow ficcers whom I cherish and admire, so I'd love to do more co-written fics.

14. all time favorite ship? I'm not picking one lmao. But if I had to? Probably CJ/Danny. They had everything. the chemistry. the will they/won't they. the yearnnnning. (Close runners-up are BJ/Peg/Hawkeye, Anna/Bates, Spirk... and Kate/Gibbs because I don't forget my roots).

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Triad Wedding. 😬 I got kinda burnt out and (at the time I finished it) went "eh no one will want to read this anyway" so now I have a 125k MASH draft on my desktop. It has... well, everything. Bisexual OT3 wedding. Mucho smut (more than I've ever published in one story before in my LIFE). Communication ✨. etc. It's been two years now, so even though there's a full draft, I don't want to promise that it'll ever be done. It needs a lot of work.

16. what are your writing strengths? Dialogue. I used to be terrified of writing dialogue, and now I think I'm decent at it. Staying in character, maybe?

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Pacing! Ask me why the 125k draft mentioned above is only seven days of in-universe time.

Also I could be better at worldbuilding. I know many authors who flesh out the whole universe and make it feel so breathable and lived in (Mia for example, she's a champ at that!) but that's still a work in progress for me. AND smut. I need to get better/more confident at that, but I've yet to learn how after six-odd years of writing it. 😐

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? I don't speak enough languages for that. Other authors can do it and do it convincingly. Not me tho.

19. first fandom you wrote in? Lost (baby's first fanfic, still buried in the depths of my FFN page); but I really got into it with Downton Abbey.

20. favorite fic you've written? I could give one of my usual answers about "ye who are weary" (because of the technical achievement of covering so many characters in one story), or "Don't Bet Your Future" (probably my MOST self-indulgent) but instead...

I really enjoyed writing "None of Us Are More Than Caretakers", guys. The season 7 secret relationship is one of my favourite time periods to cover for CJ and Danny, and getting to write this little "missing episode" between Last Hurrah and Institutional Memory was so much fun, and a great technical challenge. Plus it WAS self-indulgent because I got to write all the post-coital scenes we were robbed of in canon AND build up to the events of IM.

thank you again!!! and I'll tag whoever is interested and has a few free hours to kill! 💜✨

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Not a BBC Sherlock fan anymore, but absolutely love Sherlock Holmes and Holmes/Watson content in other adaptations.

So, alas, blacklisting the BBC Sherlock tag doesn't really help, because I am still interested in Sherlock Holmes, and not everyone tags their posts as BBC Sherlock specifically when they post something related to it (not blaming anyone for that - I get how tiring it can be to tag the whole thing everytime you post/reblog something - but still.)

I can't even filter the johnlock tag (despite not shipping johnlock in the show anymore) because even people who post Holmes/Watson posts in other adaptations, they tag those as johnlock too (like granada johnlock, etc.) and I don't want to be missing out on them.

I'm not really going anywhere with this hehe. Just a rambling. I still seeing my old friends from the BBC Sherlock fandom (you included) on my dash.

Have a good day!

Hey Nonny *hugs*

Ugh, I'm sorry that searching has become harder for you. I can understand the frustration you're having... perhaps instead you need to filter further NOT by ship tags but by relationships?

If you go to AO3's search page start narrowing it down by Fandom:

This example I just typed Sherlock, so you could choose the specific fandom or various fandom (you can select multiple ones, it will show up with an "x" next to it, then just start typing another one).

THEN, scroll down a bit more, and select from the "Relationship" section:

The "/" means romantic ship (a "slash ship") and the "&" is a platonic / friendship ship (note that some "pre-slash" fics tag them with the ampersand). That should help narrow down your search a lot more than just typing in tags.

In fairness, a LOT of authors use "Sherlock Holmes and Related Fandoms" tag BECAUSE it is an umbrella fandom, so you HAVE to narrow it down more to the specific adaptation you're looking for fics for. Using both seems to work better, I find.

And in defence of authors, Johnlock is the most-known ship tag for them, so you WILL get everything from everywhere. You're best off to make SURE you're using the relationship filter to narrow it down rather than just typing in "Johnlock" as a general tag search.

Unless of course this is ALL already what you're doing then I'm just a fool who can't read LOL 🙃

That all said, I am sorry you're having a hard time finding what you need (and to be fair, my blog isn't the best place to find non-BBC Johnlock fics, LOL) BUT I do really appreciate you still enjoying my content enough to follow me although BBCS isn't your jam anymore <3

I hope I helped a BIT, and it's totally okay to come here and ramble. Surely there are other kindred spirits and maybe your ask helped them find what they're looking for <3

Have a fantastic day, Nonny *hugs*

[3milesup]

Last Line Challenge

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you like)

Thank you SO MUCH for tagging me @ventresses !! sorry for the delay but i've only just seen the tag, i was on holidays and couldn't get a decent connection in the camping... which thank God, on one hand, because i regenerate better offline, but on the other, i had too much time to think during the drive and the stay and the unfortunate result is: more lines to my TP Leyden/Burgin story. It is but a jumble of various scenes stretching into post-war and i have no idea whether i'm ever going to make sense of it all but no cheating, the game is about last lines so last lines i drop, however embarrassing my wip might be xd Actually, the last written lines are smutty, so the last lines i edited to play it safe^^ Here goes nothing:

“It’s okay, Bill. You’re okay.” “Every fuck-up’s always okay with you,” Bill scoffs. “How would it be a fuck-up?” “Maybe cause I just woke up your whole family with my goddamned yelling?” “Now, this was you or your father speaking?” It is unexpectedly harsh but the grip at his hand tightens and he feels a simultaneous squeeze of comparable strength at his throat. Screw it. Burgie probably knows the answer, anyway. He pulls his leg up, folds it under the other thigh. Doesn't look like he's in a hurry to go back to bed. “You staying?” "That even a question?” Bill shrugs. He doesn’t want to think of it now, of his mother going off about you can’t sleep with the lights on, who’s gonna pay the bills? and his father insisting he should see somebody, of the slamming of the doors ringing through his ears, heart hammering in his chest while he lies in the dark alone and confused as hell… It would take him ages to come to and even longer to calm down at least enough to breathe evenly, until dawn usually, and the worst thing was that it lingered, the shaky feeling in his guts, the instinct to duck at every rumor or brisk movement would cling to him for the whole next day… He doesn’t want to think of it now when he for once not only rationalized that he is safe but really feels it, too, feels Burgie’s thumb stroking the inside of his wrist, his steady, quiet calmness filling the room.

sorry abt this but alas, my mind decided they could have something going on, now all i can do about it is try to write it down......

i don't know who to tag, because my dumb ass always feels like a nuisance when tagging people :/ so if any writer/artist happens to see this and wants to play along, please say i tagged you!^^

<3

[fastwiemagie]

One-day-trip to the middle ages aka "let's go to ren faire"

Red Riding hood with a basket full of goods for grandma or more like "follow me behind this tent, I've got mead if you got coins"?

On July 8th I've went to ren faire - though that's not what we call it locally obviously. It's called "Mittelalterfest" in German, which translates to "medieval party". This event took place at the "Heeresgeschichtliches Museum" (museum of the history of warfare, Heer = army) and I really liked their slogan "Kriege gehören ins Museum" (=war belongs into museums). Wars should be a thing of the past!!

I've had a wonderful day with a couple of friends!! (Only sharing one selfie with my dear friend Duplica who's very comfortable with her likeness being shared!) I was pleasantly surprised at gaining free entry for dressing up for the event! Hurray for my thrifted dirndl-esque dress!! I've pinned the sides up with safety pins to give me more air flow and wore my pretty green hip bag for valuables & a string backpack for additional stuff! The dress is a linen & cotton blend, so it's very comfy to wear! Plus it has pockets and I thrifted it (with a broken zipper) for a super mark-down of 1€ during a special sales event. And I didn't even know until I went to pay and was flabbergasted at being only asked for one buck! Yay!

I've forgot to take better pictures of it, but I made a beautiful hair-crown with two overlapping braids and wore a felt leaf pinned to the back. (Felt leaf by my dear friend @wuselwesen .) That hair-do read semi-medieval enough for me, plus it's way cooler to wear my hair up in summer of course!

We've had great food & beverages (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic - stay hydrated in the heat folks!!). It was about 30°C on that day, so we kept it very cozy, lots of breaks and sitting around and chatting with our friends. But we also checked out all the vendours of course and chatted with them and admired their pretty wares! I was SOOOO tempted by all the gorgeous clothes in natural fibers. Alas, my coin purse (=budget) said no buuuuut I bought myself a beautiful basket bag, as an early birthday present to myself. It's so lovely, with a long woven fabric strap to carry the basket. I've also bought cherry mead at one vendour stall and my friend joked that "I'm almost like Red Riding Hood now, I only would need some cake for grandma!". But alas, I even had some pyramid cake with me (is Baumkuchen really called pyramid cake? Dictionary says so... it's dough wrapped around a piece of wood (hence "Baum" = tree (cake)) and rotated over a fire. I like it classic with sugar and cinnamon.

I've also found 5€ on the ground and invested it into an arrow head necklace immediately. What comes around, goes around!!

The day was SO beautiful, I was so emotional & happy leaving at night, I had to ask my friend if I could hug her because my happiness had to go somewhere and she said yes of course. Ahhh happy memories!!

Tagging @worth-beyond-a-number-scale because she's asked me to be tagged in posts where I'm wearing traditional/dirndl dress. This is a very casual outfit, it would be traditional to wear it with a blouse underneath & an apron. But it was way too hot for any of that last weekend!!

[id] Pic 1 & Pic 2:

both close-up pictures taken on public transport. Pic 1 is going to the renfaire, Pic 2 is the travel back home. Pic 1 shows the face & upper body of a young fat white woman with glasses and brown hair in a braided up-do. She's wearing a pentagram necklace and black earbuds. As well as a linen/cotton blend dress with a black bodice with floral machine embroidery on it.

Pic 2 has cut off the face of the young fat white woman, but you see the gorgeous woven basket she bought at renfaire next to her on a seat. More of the floral machine embroidery on the dresses bodice is also visible, as well as the green lacing on the front and the green skirt part. She's also wearing a green hip bag and has another black-and-floral bag with her (it's a backpack). Another necklace has appeared also: a golden arrow head on a black string! Ren faire purchase spotted??

Pic 3 shows some naturally-dyed yarn draped aesthetically on a construct of wooden sticks with a medieval-esque banner in the middle. The colours are very pleasing to look at and surprisingly colourful for natural dyeing!

Pic 4: The young white fat woman with glasses and brown hair (worn in a braided hair-crown on this day) is standing in front of some vendour stalls, with some faire goers in the background. She's smiling at the onlooker. You can see that the skirt part of her dress has been pinned up, for the aesthetic and extra air flow. Keen-eyed watchers spot a black bracelet on her left arm and she's also wearing black leather sandals.

Pic 5: This one is almost identical with pic 4, the young white fat woman with glasses and brown hair in her renfaire outfit, but she's smiling even more in this picture (and the people in the background have also changed).

Pic 6 & 7 are close-ups again.

Pic 6 shows the top part of the woven basket that has been purchased at the ren faire, with a pentagram necklace, an arrowhead necklace and a braided black bracelet lying on top of it. The close-ups shows all the accessories in detail!

Pic 7 is a selfie of the young white fat woman with glasses and brown hair together with another young white thin woman with brown hair, both looking into the camera, smiling and showing off the bottles of mead they just bought from a vendour.

Pic 8 is a full body shot again, with the young white fat woman with glasses and brown hair standing in front (or rather: behind) a yellow-and-turquoise striped tent (aka vendour stall). You can also see a more muted yellow-and red ochre coloured tent in the background as well as a dirty white tent. The woman is excitingly showing off her newly purchased basket bag, which she's stored her bottle of mead in. Hurray! She's looking very happy with her day at ren faire and her purchases.[/id]

[yaz-the-spaz]

WIP Wednesday

tagged by no one but saw @playinginthunderstorms post about wip wednesday and decided to join in!

this is from part 3 of my rentboy buck verse bc I basically skipped over part 2 outside of some rushed chaotic notes bc my brain is an annoying leapfrog as usual and loves to jump from point a straight over b, c, d, & e to get to point f like an asshole and now I'm having a hard time trying to get my brain to go back

but alas, enjoy my fellow freak4freak truthers

*warning for heavy smut/explicit content

Buck likes to let Eddie pick. It gets to be a bit of a game, this thing they do. They’ll go to out to a bar, scope out the room. Eddie’ll pick the person, watch Buck go over and chat them up, flex and show himself off like the cute little whore he is, watch them leave together. Eddie’ll head home, hard and wanting thinking about all the dirty, depraved things Buck’s getting up to with his pick of the night. Then Buck’ll come home all shy and cute with a wad of cash, and more often than not, looking fucked out. And Eddie’ll teasingly jack him off or finger him open nice and slow, if he’s not already fucked open, while he coaxes the details out of him till they’re both too turned on to stand it, and then Eddie’ll slide home and take what’s his. Buck still gets a little shy about it. Like he still can't believe Eddie really wants to know, all blushes and sweet little head ducks, stuttering adorably like he’s embarrassed to say it out loud when he’s hardly ever embarrassed about a goddamn thing in his life any other time it should count. It’s stupidly hot and Eddie loves it.

But Eddie also loves coaxing it out of him and he’s pretty sure Buck secretly loves it too. “What did he do to you first, baby?” Eddie says into the cut of his jaw, lazily grinding his slicked-up dick into Buck’s hip while he palms lightly at Buck’s cock and presses kisses into his skin. “Did he suck your dick? Make you suck his?” Buck shakes his head, cheeks a pretty pink. “No? Did he open you up?” Buck nods. “Yeah? How’d he do it? Did he use his fingers or his mouth?” “Fingers,” Buck says softly, demurely. “He – he was quick. S-said he couldn’t wait to get inside.” Eddie smiles. He knows the feeling. “Yeah? Nobody can wait to get inside that perfect ass, can they?” He grabs a handful and squeezes to punctuate his point and Buck stifles a whine behind his bitten lips. “What else did he say?” “Said – said he wanted to see me again. As soon as he got inside. ‘Cause I felt so good. Eddie, he was – he was so big.” Eddie knew he’d be big, he looked like he would. “Said he – he wanted me to – to wear a plug next time. A big one. So I could be ready for him.” Eddie groans. “Yeah? Like how he got you all nice and ready for me?” And just like that he slides home, burying himself to the hilt in one quick, smooth stroke, certain Buck can take him with no prep easy. Buck makes a wounded sound at the sudden intrusion, wrapping his legs tight around Eddie’s waist and looking enamored with the feel of him all the same.

To be posted on ao3 soon hopefully (as soon as I get off my ass and finally finish pt 2)