#i really wanna learn to cook more stuff... but also thank fuck it likes junk food

[berrymeter]

most of all i wanna make it shitty breakfast so bad

[hoe-doroki]

steel and lace

minors do not interact

warnings: 18+, anal play, sex toys, voyeuristic fantasy, scratching, creampie

pairing: bakugou x fem!reader

wc: 3.8k

summary: The only one who manages to get Bakugou’s birthday right is you.

a/n: This is my addition to the Bakugou Birthday Bash collab (masterlist). Many thanks to @lady-bakuhoe​ for helping me flesh out the ideas with this story!! You were integral to this idea, love! And additional thanks to @whats-her-quirk​ and @therealvalkyrie​ for beta reading <333

edit: I no longer write x reader but here’s my old masterlist - mobile | desktop

Bakugou never took work off on his birthday.

Never. Why would he? Villains didn’t give a shit that this was the day the old hag had unceremoniously had him evacuated into a hospital room however many years ago. They didn’t give a shit that his friends—who were also heroes who should be fucking working, by the way—wanna come over to his house and surprise him. As though his reconnaissance-trained ears weren’t as fucking fine tuned at hearing idiots on the other side of the door as theirs.

What villains should care about was that he was a year older, wiser, and fucking stronger, and he was going to kick all their asses. That was what he told all his idiot friends every year when they asked him if he was going to take off work.

Every year he regretted it.

The idiots he works with really must not care about hero work, because every year they want to send him out on a field post sugar crash from some store-bought cake with his name on it. Or buy him gifts that he’ll probably toss in the trash on the way home. He’s not being rude; he just doesn’t need junk that he never would have bought himself in the first place.

Everyone is always grinning at him, wishing him a happy birthday—as though he’s any goddamn happier to see their ugly mugs flapping their lips at him—and trying to start stupid-ass conversations. If he doesn’t like small talk normally, why would he want it on his birthday?

And the singing.

If people really wanted to wish him a happy birthday, they’d find a way to do it silently while doing some respectable fucking hero work. Make his day easier.

But no, none of that was what happened. So he should have just stayed home. Let the villains have a fucking field day on April 20th, and he could have his real gift killing them all tomorrow on the 21st.

But, unfortunately, he was a dumbass and had gone to work anyway, like he’d learned nothing from the last many years of antics. And the continued antics had got him a little pissy. And when he was pissed off, his heart rate increased, his breathing grew heavier, and, of course, he sweat.

Well. Guess what happened?

“Bakugou, I am currently paying to treat burns and fractures on three villains. Care to explain?”

Best Jeanist was sitting in his office chair, blinding sunlight streaming in behind him. Late afternoon sun—darker in color but way more resentful towards human eyes, apparently. It was reflecting off of all of the neighboring glass corporate buildings, making Bakugou squint behind his mask.

Bakugou shrugged, petulant as he stood behind his chair instead of sitting in it. “Overkill.”

Best Jeanist nodded. “Did you…lose control?”

“Tch,” Bakugou scoffed. As if he ever lost control. “Villains were weaker than I thought.”

Bakugou felt the stare of that one fucking eye and stood firm. He knew he was looking at a suspension, hopefully just for a day or two. It wasn’t like he’d done anything terrible. Villains got hurt sometimes, just like pros did, and they got their care and then they got their justice. It’s not like Bakugou was violent on purpose. Anymore. And Jeanist sure as hell knew that, so it wouldn’t take Bakugou off the field for more than a slap on the wrist. He probably wouldn’t even be technically suspended. Just chained by the fucking dick to his desk with some paperwork.

“Just…” Bakugou braced for it, narrowing his eyes but keeping his snarl to a minimum. “Just be more careful next time. Shower and go home—see you tomorrow.”

Bakugou’s jaw dropped. He closed it quickly, trying not to look like Dunce Face in front of his boss, but in all that was real and true what? He was just about to say something—he didn’t know what, probably something insubordinate—when Best Jeanist took out his own paperwork and waved him away.

“Happy birthday, Bakugou.”

Oh. So that was it.

Bakugou grit his teeth. Happy fucking birthday indeed.

It was nothing. His brain told him over and over again that it was fucking nothing. He hadn’t been punished, he hadn’t even really done anything wrong; he just hadn’t been squeaky clean up to fucking code. He could still show up for work tomorrow, business as usual. He should be tickled fucking pink.

But he wasn’t. Special treatment for being the birthday boy? What was he? Five years old and given a pass after stealing the chicken nuggets off Deku’s plate? Jesus Christ.

And if he was honest, he was mostly pissed at himself. Sure, he could blame how the weather always seemed to sprint from spring to summer around his birthday every year, strengthening his quirk. He could blame the villains for being weak enough that they had no business even stepping foot in his neighborhood. But losing control of his quirk even a little—and it had been a little—was fucking amateur and he’d have to pencil in some extra time at the gym. Maybe snatch Shitty Hair for some sparring, and, unfortunately, probably nab an extra therapy session and talk about this anger thing again.

At least walking instead of sitting on that stifling, crowded train car was doing him some good. Let him cool off a bit before he got home and you saw that something was wrong. He was nearly entirely relaxed by the time he got to his building’s lobby, even having the grace to nod at the concierge—who didn’t know it was his birthday, thank God—before heading up the elevator.

When he got off on his floor, it suddenly occurred to him that you might have done something truly repulsive, like inviting his friends over. He could imagine Shitty Hair’s shitty fucking hair sticking up from behind your sofa as he tried to hide before leaping up and yelling surprise.

Well, if that was the case, then the surprise was going to be him kicking all his dumb friends out of the apartment with one foot. Ain’t no way he was going to host a party on his birthday.

It turned out his worry was for nothing, though, because when he turned the knob—fully braced to punch out some teeth with his other hand—he was greeted with a totally bare apartment.

Like barren.

For starters, it was perfectly clean. Bakugou kept a tidy house normally, but this was certainly cleaner than he’d left it this morning. But more than that, there was nothing extra lying around. No stupid friends. No presents. No cake or even the smell of one. It was almost disconcerting.

No, it was a relief. A relief because he didn’t want any of that stuff. He’d had the slice of cake at work—and was slightly hangry now to show for it—and wasn’t interested in having another. And even though you’d choose better gifts than the extras at work would, it was nothing he couldn’t buy himself. So no, this was perfect. He was absolutely not disappointed. Maybe a bit confused. But not disappointed.

He took his shoes off and set his things on the small table by the door. Then he wandered into the kitchen, downed some water, and thought about what he might make for dinner. He might have expected that you and he would make dinner together or maybe even that you would have surprised him with something, but he didn’t mind doing it alone. It wasn’t like he’d learned to cook just to find a housewife someday to con into doing it all for him.

He decided to go to the bedroom first to plug in his phone. He was just sliding it out of his pocket when he opened the door, saw you, and stopped short.

You were on the bed—not in bed, but on it—wearing a black zip up with his signature orange x over the chest. You were on your knees with your legs spread wide, looking him dead in the eye with a deadly smirk on your face, painted in bright lipstick.

“New prototype. You like?”

The two of you had met when you were scouted from his parents’ business to design the clothing for his first merchandise line. He’d sworn off dating you from the beginning, because the last thing he wanted was to give the old hag anything to say about, firstly, her being at all responsible for finding  him a girlfriend or secondly, the fact that dating a fashion designer would mean he was dating his parents. He’d said fuck that to anyone who would listen.

But you’d gotten his brain from the beginning. Your designs were all sick from the sketch to mock up to the prototypes you always wore for him. Maybe he was a simple man for falling for a girl dressed in his colors, aiming to please him, but fuck it. You were talented, too smart for your own good, and pretty as hell.

So what? Now he had a dream girlfriend and one more reason to fight with his mom. Net positive for sure.

Still, that jacket wasn’t a prototype. That was from his first official line, no doubt, and he’d seen you wear it hundreds of times. He knew from here how much it would smell like detergent and how much like you.

You caught his eyes, raised your brows once, and then pulled the zip on the sweatshirt.

Underneath was nothing but lace and ribbon, contrasting the black and orange of the sweatshirt with moss green outlining your silhouette. The moss green from his gauntlets and his belt was caged around you in the thinnest strips of fabric, scraps of floral barely covering your breasts and pussy. The lingerie was an all-in-one, with the tiny bra connected to the panties by a few ribbons crossing over your belly. Not hiding a damn thing, but showing it off for all its worth.

“Fuck,” Bakugou groaned when the sweatshirt hit the bed, your arms still in the sleeves, but the look underneath now fully revealed to him. He could feel the blood going to his dick, just seeing you on display like that getting him up to half mast in seconds.

“Not a lot of coverage on this version,” you mused, sticking your thumb under a bra strap. “Maybe an edit for the second try?”

Bakugou growled, taking a step forward, but you weren’t done just yet.

“I was also thinking maybe full panties next time,” you said, turning around, sitting on your heels. The sweatshirt hung just below your ass, framing round cheeks that were caged by thin elastic crosses, and that was it. Not so much as a triangle of fabric to speak of. “Maybe write: Property of Dynamight on them? Or is that too much text?”

That was all it took for Bakugou to pounce. One arc of his fist had his shirt thrown with a smack to the floor and then his hands were on your shoulders, spinning you face up as he pushed you flat on the bed.

“You know I don’t like unnecessary words,” he growled.

And then he was kissing you, a hand running up the falke stockings pinned on your thighs as you pulled your arms out of the sweatshirt. One leg came up automatically to wrap around his hip, and Bakugou began rutting against your center, fully hard already. On his second grinding thrust, his pants snagged on the scrap of lace you were wearing. Wetness was already glistening on his trousers and he moved his thumb down to your core, groaning at what he felt.

“Crotchless panties?” he mumbled against your mouth. “You’re making this too easy, sweetheart.”

“Shouldn’t have to work so hard on your birthday,” you mewled.

There was a rumble in Bakugou’s throat, half scoff, half chuckle. “Yeah, remind me of that next year, will you?”

You were soaked already—the swipe of his thumb told you that much. Either you’d gotten really excited when he’d texted you that he was coming home early, or you’d…gotten yourself excited at some point after. Either way, it meant that foreplay could wait for round two.

He pulled his thumb away from your core and pressed it against your lip, smudging what lipstick had survived the kisses down your chin. You were half ruined already. You stuck your tongue out and licked at essence on his thumb before sucking it into your mouth, eyes wide as you looked up at him. Fuck, he could feel himself straining against his pants, grinding circles against your half-bare cunt for a spot of relief.

After you licked him clean, he took his hand back, leaving your mouth open and wanting as he began to fuss with the front of his pants. He caught your smudged lips again, holding your jaw with one hand as he pushed his pants down with the other. He pulled his lower half away from you, kicking off the pants—hadn’t bothered with boxers for the commute home—and let them slide off the edge of the bed.

“Ready?” he asked.

Your smile was big and you bit the tip of your tongue, nodding your head twice. That was all he needed. He grabbed his cock in his fist and slid it through your wetness just once, and then he pushed himself in.

Immediately, he felt the drag of something hard and angled against your lower wall right along his cock, pressing from tip to base as he slid home inside of you.

“Woah,” he groaned. “What the fuck?”

You giggled, the action making your walls flutter against him.

“Got myself a new toy,” you said coyly, wrapping your legs around his hips. “Promise you can get yourself something pretty on my birthday too.”

Bakugou reach a hand around your thigh, feeling the elastic garter pulled taut against the stockings that were rubbing so deliciously against his back and his hips. He grabbed a handful of your ass, and the tips of his fingers felt a rounded edge of warm metal slid just between your ass cheeks.

“You fucking naughty minx.” Bakugou grinned, showing all his teeth, rearing back out of you before thrusting back in, feeling the novel pressure of the toy on the way out and back.

No wonder you had been so wet to begin with. You must have lubed yourself up before putting in that butt plug—which wasn’t small, from what he could feel of it. He could imagine you, one leg up on the sink, ass sticking out as you fingered yourself, mouth dropping open when you inserted the toy. How cold it would have been when it first touched your pert little hole and how you’d gotten it all warm for him as you waited with your little secret for him to get home.

“It’s curved to hit prostates,” you gasped as Bakugou rocked hard, steady thrusts into you. “In case you’re interested.”

The thought, much to Bakugou’s surprise, sent a thrill right through his belly down to his dick. He couldn’t help but slam rapidly into you, making your eyes roll back. Fuck, was that something he wanted? It wasn’t something he’d ever thought about, and he didn’t have the mind right now to ponder it.

“God you feel so big.”

“You feel so tight, sweetheart,” Bakugou grunted, refusing to acknowledge the fresh heat that was on his cheeks after your previous comment. “Squeezing me from all sides.”

The butt plug left it so there was barely enough room in your pussy for his cock to pump in and out. The pressure was hard on one side, making him fucking twitch every time the head of his cock caught against it, leading him to opt for long, deep thrusts in and out of you. It was so good that he didn’t even care if the only present he got for his birthday was a little hunk of stainless steel halfway up your ass. He’d gotten home five minutes ago and already he could feel his balls tightening, threatening to bust a nut.

“Just think of it, Katsuki,” you said, your voice dreamy as he fucked you raw. “All the women wearing this set, thinking of you when they show it off for their partners. All wishing that you were the one fucking them. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, baby? But they’ll never have anything but their husband’s sad cock that they pretend is yours.”

“Fuck,” Bakugou growled, putting a hand on the headboard and nearly splintering it in his grip. You were riling him up and it made him want to press his palm flat against the burnished oak and let off his quirk, send shards flying. His hand was already drenched with more sweat than it should have been, just like with those villains earlier. Goddamn this time of year. He couldn’t help it; his quirk begged for it. He was in dire need of release of some kind, and it wasn’t like he could cum yet. He had to know how your pussy felt when it convulsed around him, ass cheeks tensing and squeezing that toy hard against his cock until he was spurting into you.

Bakugou let off a few crackling pops from his palm, moaning as relief filled him, the tension lessened for a moment. A faint smell of wood smoke spread through the room, slightly embittered by the resin blackening around his hand. One more scorch mark on the bed frame. You groaned underneath him, taken by the sight of Bakugou’s ever-tight control slipping for you. You knew he’d fuck you through the bed until the rest of the frame gave way if he wanted. You’d both be flat on a busted mattress and he’d keep going until he felt you clench around him.

“How’s that sound, Katsu?” you continued, your voice growing higher as Bakugou took his hand off the headboard and pressed four fingers, still sweaty and heated from his quirk, against the lace covering your clit. It was soaked through. “A-Ah, you’d like the idea of a woman home alone, dressed up just for you, fucking herself on the dildo she hides in the back of your closet, screaming out your name and hoping to God that her neighbors don’t hear?”

Bakugou couldn’t do the long, slow thrusts anymore. Your legs had grown tighter around his waist, your calves soft and silken against his ass as he kept his thrusts deep. The butt plug was rubbing against the base of his cock as he pounded into you, his fingers swiping over your clit with little finesse, but speed and steady pressure making up for it.

“But no matter…” you continued, the words coming out in little huffs as you panted with your head thrown back. Bakugou couldn’t resist leaning down and licking a line up the length of your neck, biting your earlobe when he got to the top, “no dildo, no matter how expensive, no matter how long and fat, will be good enough. The whole time…they’ll know they’re missing out. Oh, fuck.”

All of a sudden, your thighs were squeezing tight against his hip bones, arms thrown over his back and finger scratching hot lines that would mark him even more as yours tomorrow. Then you were gasping, walls squeezing and Bakugou fought against your grip to pull out just enough so that the metal toy was rubbing just over the cleft of his head with every convulsion.

He didn’t stand a chance. There was hardly any warning before he was cumming into you, streaks of his seed dribbling out of you. He couldn’t even pump himself through it; you were gripping him so tightly and, more than that, he didn’t want to move. Everything was white hot, so he just waited it out, barely moving save for where his hand was still rubbing over your clit.

Eventually you stopped him, grabbing his wrist just as the grip of your cunt loosened around him. Then you brought his hand, glistening with moisture, up to your mouth, and broadly laved your tongue from the base of his fingers to the tips, looking him dead in the eye. You then brought his hand down to your neck, and allowed him to streak the combined fluids across and down your décolletage.

Fuck—there was no way he was going to work on his birthday next year. He’d let villains overtake the city first.

“They’ll know they’re missing out,” you breathed, and it took Bakugou a second to figure out that you were continuing your voyeuristic fantasy from before, playing it out to the end, “They might even think they understand. But the only one who will truly know, is me.”

You smiled, your eyes and grin both heavy, sleepy, sated.

“Got that fucking right,” Bakugou said, pulling out of you, his cum already dripping down your ass. He eyed it, only catching a glimpse of the glinting metal plug before your legs fell to the bed, spread and limp. He smacked your hip lightly with one hand. “Roll over.”

In no mood to argue, you flipped willingly, ass up, plug still hidden from view. The lingerie was damp in some spots from where your wetness had spilled from your pussy. He leaned his mouth towards one of the strips of elastic stretching against the swell of your ass and bit. You gasped, back arching, and Katsuki smirked as he pulled away.

“A fucking lingerie line?”

A chuckle escaped your throat. “It was supposed to be a joke, but now…”

Katsuki pinched the elastic with his fingers and snapped it, watching the slight jiggle of your cheeks as you jolted. “No.”

“But Katsuki,” you whined.

“Mm,” he amended, as close to ‘maybe’ as you were going to get. You both could always talk about the idea—truly ridiculous idea—later. Katsuki put a hand on one cheek under the strips of lingerie and spread it.

There was the plug, a stainless steel handle. It was thin and shaped like an oblong donut, not like one of those cheap bejeweled things. This one, even just what he could see of it, screamed quality, and, for a moment, Bakugou wondered again what it would be like to wear. If you’d gotten it in, he sure as fuck could. And he did hold a certain anatomical advantage in using it.

He put his thumb and forefinger to the phalange and gave the toy a twist, pressing it just slightly deeper into your hole. You groaned, your voice low and deep in the pillow like when he gave you a back massage. He smirked and kept at it. Seemed this was a birthday gift for him after all.

“Katsu, don’t tease,” you moaned. “Sensitive.”

Bakugou, however, had no mercy. He flipped you over again, pulling a little yelp from you, and then picked you up bridal style, carrying you off the bed.

“Where are we going?” you asked, your voice suddenly much more awake.

“Shower,” he answered simply. He squeezed the meat of your upper thigh. Not quite your ass but close enough for the point to be made. “I’m not done with my present yet.”

[warfear]

✩ puli

* groans loudly *

DISAGREEMENTS

WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO RAISE THEIR VOICE? obviously miss poop. juli hasn’t raised his voice in his life… that’s no joke. can really only recall ONE fight he’s ever had with somebody. like, emotionally. he’s always fighting for the laffs.  WHO THREATENS TO LEAVE BUT NEVER ACTUALLY DOES? pippa again. she’d be way too obsessed with the last word, and you know him… never shuts the fuck up. they’d be going back and forth all night. WHO ACTUALLY KEEPS THEIR WORD AND LEAVES? julian. he’s not really a towel thrower but like, when a man has had enough... WHO TRASHES THE HOUSE? pippa would throw a hissy fit and break multiple vases. those were expensive bitch. you better venmo his mommy right now. DO EITHER OF THEM GET PHYSICAL? she might slap him. maybe. does she have the balls? somebody’s got to.  HOW OFTEN DO THEY ARGUE/DISAGREE? every god damn day. over everything. agreeing is for SUCKERS. WHO IS THE FIRST TO APOLOGISE? julian. obviously. he’s doing it right now in our thread that you refuse to reply to.

SEX

WHO IS ON TOP? i don’t think pippa likes to get down and dirty in missionary soooo… ya make a wild guess. WHO IS ON THE BOTTOM? * ladybird vc * who’s on top their first time?! WHO HAS THE STRANGEST DESIRES? pippa. she fucked her babysitter slash principal. that was mad weird. funny how juli knows about that and STILL choose to knock boots. he must be confident in her weekly planned parenthood check - ups.  ANY KINKS? enthusiastic consent on his part. duh. pippa seems to be VERY into pegging. sounds like she fetishizes homosexual men to me. larry much? big yikes. WHO’S MORE DOMINANT IN BED? we like a girl who knows what she wants. no, genuinely… he does. it’s hot. IS HEAD EVER IN THE EQUATION? juli be eating that wap like its a five course meal followed up by a midnight snack. she slobbers on that dick like its a popsicle stick.If so, who is better at performing it? her, definitely. he’s only really fucked a handful of people, and that includes her. let a boy practice, damn. EVER HAD SEX IN PUBLIC? do parties count as public? if no, then they better get to it. Who moans the most? for juli’s sake, i hope pippa. or else we might be dealing with a case of deflation.  WHO LEAVES THE MOST MARKS? pippa seems like she gets into it, so i’ll go with her. Who screams the loudest? i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again...  WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SCREAMING AND MOANING? WHO IS THE MORE EXPERIENCED OF THE TWO? as established, it’s pipperoo.  DO THEY ‘FUCK’ OR ‘MAKE LOVE’? they fuck. plain and simple. maybe when he’s popped that bun in the oven we can get to talking about slowing our roll (no pun intended. just kidding, it was intentional) ROUGH OR SOFT? well, it’s not rough but it’s not soft, either. ya dig? a neat little mixture of both. he’s not a bdsm god, okay. we can’t ALL be randy. but i do wish we could. HOW LONG DO THEY USUALLY LAST? now, i won’t act as if he can go all night in terms of dicking her down… HOWEVER, he don’t give up and if we gotta put our other limbs to use (just fingers, dudes, don’t get any ideas), then so be it. is the tongue a limb? hm. IS PROTECTION USED? with his sperm count? naw. DOES IT EVER GET BORING? probably, they’re depressed.Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? this universe.

FAMILY

DO YOUR MUSES PLAN ON HAVING CHILDREN/OR HAVE CHILDREN? they do not plan on that shit, alright. but if shit hits the fan and a little gremlin starts growing inside the gremlin (let her have some water, did we?), then i guess. just know it wasn’t premeditated.  IF SO, HOW MANY CHILDREN DO YOUR MUSES WANT/HAVE? just the one, thanks. WHO IS THE FAVORITE PARENT? say it’s NOT the apocalypse, then pippa. she would spoil that little brat until it turned into a mini - her. but other than that, juli’s good with kids. THEY LIKE HIM. let me have this. WHO IS THE MORE AUTHORIATIVE PARENT? i feel like juli would be able to handle the everyday stuff of like, “don’t eat glue”. but pippa would be the one snapping, for sure. WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO ALLOW THE CHILDREN TO HAVE A DAY OFF SCHOOL? pippa. juli values education, okay? he’s a little steven crain, why yes he is. WHO LETS THE CHILDREN INDULGE IN SWEETS AND JUNK FOOD WHEN THE OTHER ISN’T AROUND? juli. pippa might be a druggie trainwreck but i don’t see her eating hot cheetos for lunch, nah… that’s juli! WHO TURNS UP TO EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES TO SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN? juli shows up for the everyday. pippa the games / performances. you think she’s gonna miss her chance at being regina george’s mom? no.  WHO GOES TO THE PARENT TEACHER INTERVIEWS? pippa forgets them and that leaves daddy julian apolskis with the hot teachers. thank you, poop. WHO CHANGES THE DIAPERS? julian. no further commentary. WHO GETS UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO FEED THE BABY? see above. somebody’s a LAZY bitch… WHO SPENDS THE MOST TIME WITH THE CHILDREN? i mean, i don’t wanna repeat myself but.  WHO PACKS THEIR LUNCHES? naw, that’s a lunch money kid right there. WHO GIVES THEIR CHILDREN ‘THE TALK’? neither, they’d call juli’s mommy or kitty for that shit.  WHO CLEANS UP AFTER THE KIDS? think pippa would hire a maid, honestly. juli’s not very organised and pippa’s, well… pippa. WHO WORRIES THE MOST? julian, for cheesy. WHO ARE THE CHILDREN MORE LIKELY TO LEARN THEIR FIRST SWEAR WORD FROM? oh, that’s a tie. they’d argue about who done did it… you know, like the potty mouths they are. but it’d end up being kitty.

AFFECTION

WHO LIKES TO CUDDLE? julian loves himself a little cuddle sesh. why, is she not down? boo. WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON? both, what the fuck. * ariana grande vc * IT’S EQUALITY. WHO GETS NAUGHTY IN THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE PLACES? pippa. like you really wanna be getting down and dirty in the diaper aisle of wholefood? get ya damn hand off his non - existent buttocks.  WHO STRUGGLES TO KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELF? yeah, see above. HOW LONG CAN THEY CUDDLE UNTIL ONE BECOMES UNCOMFORTABLE? like 3 minutes for her. he can go all night, baby. WHO GIVES THE MOST KISSES? probably juli. HE’S AFFECTIONATE. WHAT IS THEIR FAVOURITE NON-SEXUAL ACTIVITY? bitching with blunts.  WHERE IS THEIR FAVOURITE PLACE TO CUDDLE? uh, a BED?  WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO PLAYFULLY GROPE THE OTHER? did you not read ANYTHING i said? HOW OFTEN DO THEY GET TIME TO THEMSELVES? i feel like they both demand a lot of me - time, and honestly i don’t see them simply existing in quietude next to each other, so… often.

SLEEPING

WHO SNORES? pippa like the wee pug she is. IF BOTH DO, WHO SNORES THE LOUDEST? she do, bitch. DO THEY SHARE A BED OR SLEEP SEPARATELY? who are they, bandy? they don’t live together but i’d ASSUME if they fucked and it went past midnight neither would just dip, that’s dumb. IF THEY SLEEP TOGETHER, DO THEY COZY UP TOGETHER OR LAY FAR APART? we start far, far away and we end up a wee bit cozy. WHO TALKS IN THEIR SLEEP? neither. that’s some tom behaviour. WHAT DO THEY WEAR TO BED? juli’s just a boxers type guy, add a t - shirt for winter. and i’m guessing she has some cutesy pajamas that are like pink… and silk.  ARE EITHER OF YOUR MUSES INSOMNIACS? juli could sleep a year. but he could also stay up a year. it’s a toss - up. i think pippa has a noise machine and a sleep mask, so. CAN SLEEPING PILLS BE FOUND BY THE BEDSIDE? yes. and we pop those for fun. DO THEY WRAP THEIR LIMBS AROUND EACH OTHER OR JUST LAY SIDE BY SIDE? both. although the former is ACCIDENTAL. Who wakes up with bed hair? juli, for sure. have you seen his hair? he ain’t brush that. Who wakes up first? fucking neither. they sleep until noon and THEN SOME. Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? juli can’t cook but if she wants a poptart… baby, he’s your man. What is their favourite sleeping position? probably like… him on his back, arm stretched out for her to use as a pillow and then she sleeps with her back towards him. what, is he not CUTE enough to face? Who hogs the sheets? pippa. greedy as hell. Do they set an alarm each night? neither, lols. Can a television be found in their bedroom? juli has one in his bedroom, but pippa might be too poor to afford that, so. Who has nightmares? i don’t think either do. then again, i don’t edward cullen pippa every night. Who has ridiculous dreams? probably juli. they’d be incoherent and she’d be like “shut up it’s 7 am i do not wanna hear about your homoerotic dreams about harrison ford.” Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? i feel like they are both sprawlers. Who makes the bed? neither, it just be looking like a HOT HOT mess at all times. What time is bed time? sunrise. Any routines/rituals before bed? more bitching with blunts. Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? my guess would be pippa. he’s not in a great mood but he’s also not in a bitchy mood. and she always is.

WORK

Who is the busiest? juli, seeing as he’s the only one with a job. freeloader much @ poopy. Who rakes in the highest income? somehow, despite not being unemployed, not juli. Are any of your muses unemployed? pippa and she’ll stay that way until the day she dies. ain’t got no skills, lady luv, what are you gonna do? onlyfans? yeah, you wish. Who takes the most sick days? pippa. from like, existing. Who is more likely to turn up late to work? juli because he doesn’t have a fucking car. who skates to work? losers, that’s who. Who sucks up to their boss? fucking NEITHER. when have these dumbos ever sucked up to anybody? What are their jobs? juli’s a clerk at the comic book store and pippa’s a professional slut. Who stresses the most? tew many blunts to be stressing, my dude. Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? julian actually likes his job. because comics are his PASSION. one and only aside from punk and being a little meanie. and who cares about pippa’s stance on unemployment? not me. Are your muses financially stable? juli, no. although he lives at home so it’s fine. pippa, yes.

HOME

Who does the washing? juli, reluctantly, after a lot of bitching from a miss espina. Who takes out the trash? he takes her out every friday night. haha, just kidding.jokes, jokes…  but he does take out the trash. Who does the ironing? i think pippa hates wrinkly clothing HOWEVER she would burn holes in that shit and he’d have to do it anyway. Who does the cooking? it’s called take - out, baby. look it up and order me some red curry chicken from your nearest thai food place. Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? pippa, hence… them not doing that. the oven is purely decorative. Who is messier? pippa. somehow. Who leaves the toilet roll empty? also pippa because she does not respect her fellow man (julian) Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? that’s juli, alright. pippa would at least fill the hamper until it overflows. good for her. Who forgets to flush the toilet? NEITHER. get some help. Who is the prankster around the house? juli would probably do something very lighthearted and then she’d take it like eleven notches too far. Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? pippa be throwing those bitches halfway the antarctic, lemme tell you. then again he doesn’t even know how to drive, so… you win some, you lose some. Who mows the lawn? * TRIGGERED * Who answers the telephone? pippa would yell at juli to do it while she’s standing RIGHT THERE and then he’d be like yo, wtf and she’d be like omg my pedicure, though… yup. Who does the vacuuming? juli’s mommy. Who does the groceries? THEY DON’T COOK. Who takes the longest to shower? pippa. juli’s an in - and - out kinda guy. and i respect that more than i respect her for taking 45 minutes every time. Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above.

MISCELLANEOUS

Is money a problem? no, but maybe it should be. then she wouldn’t be such a horrid little cunt, you know? too much? yeah, well… like queen lizzo once said, the truth hurts. How many cars do they own? i wanna say… one.  Do they own their home or do they rent? um, owning a home is a huge commitment (and a baby simply isn’t, just leave it on the curb outside and you’ll be gucci within 30 minutes top) and they’re not committed to the cause. Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? bitch, city. but a city near the coast? ahah, seattle? Do they live in the city or in the country? fucking see above, damn. Do they enjoy their surroundings? sure, why not. sounds cute. What’s their song? wap, obviously. but also everybody talks by neon trees. don’t ask me for 80’s songs, i am brain dead.  What do they do when they’re away from each other? rejoice. Where did they first meet? at a party, probably. How did they first meet? let’s just make it less awk and say through a mutual friend... Who spends the most money when out shopping? how is this even a question… obviously juli spends big bucks on nightwing comics that heavily feature dick’s thick behind. Who’s more likely to flash their assets? pippa should be robbed. Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? both. pippa would just more vocal about it. Any mental issues? * takes long drag of a cigarette * so anyway... Who’s terrified of bugs? pippa cries at the sight of butterflies. did i steal that from some toddler in the chat? yeah. Who kills the spiders around the house? jjuli would let it outside. like idiots who want the spider to come back in do. Their favourite place? probably some shitty make - out spot in the woods where you can smoke weed and bitch. Who pays the bills? juli would insist on paying half even if she could buy him. Do they have any fears for their future? ahah.... hunny… for that you’d have to expect a future. Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? juli. he’s a big softie, alright. Who uses up all of the hot water? well only one of them spends the whole day in the shower, so. Who’s the tallest? JULI, FOR ONCE.  Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? that’s a pippa move if i’ve ever heard one. Who wanders around in their underwear? well, he’s not gonna be putting on any pants unless there’s company. Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? see, juli would jam out to some sick punk rock and she’d turn it off for madonna and then have HER moment but man, did you know he’ll just join? that’s kinda cute * barf * What do they tease each other about? their respective failures. Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? he looks like he got dressed in the dark. Do they have mutual friends? HAAAAAAAAA... Who crushed first? IF that were to ever be a thing, then juli for sure.  Any alcohol or substance related problems? * loud breathing for 16 consecutive minutes * Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? both of them. maybe together.

[bucketofchum]

Learn about Modo

Tagged by @missmellifluous. I’ll put this under a cut too I guess.

1. Coke or Pepsi: I don’t like soda, but pepsi? It tastes sweeter. But I can’t handle carbonation. 

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Both...? I feel like Disney gets a lot of the credit for a lot of things Dreamworks does. Disney does seem more classic, but Dreamworks does take more risks.

3. Coffee or Tea: Neither? I don’t really drink either. I’ve had more tea than coffee though. But like, not the kind with bags and cream and stuff. I don’t understand that.

4. Books or Movies: Both? I definitely watch more movies than I read books though. Easier to consume. But books just fuck me up when I’m done.

5. Windows or Mac: Mac

6. DC or Marvel: Marvel mostly, but I do love me some Bat Family. Grayson is the fave.

7. X-box or Playstation: Sorry I don’t game...I’m......fake gamer guy......

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: ........I don’t know........

9. Night Owl or Early Riser: Um, does it count if I just don’t sleep? Am I both? Mostly night owl. 

10. Cards or Chess: ...neither...???? idk. I mean I played Yugioh, which is a card game.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.

12. Vans or Converse: I have never worn either. But they both look nice.

13. Lavallan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar:

Who...

14. Fluff or Angst: I love me some fluff but I live the angst.

15. Beach or Forest: Forest! I could spend my life in the woods. Can’t spend more than 2 days on the beach...

16. Dogs or Cats: porque no los dos

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Clear skies. I like being able to go out.

18. Cooking or Eating Out: Cooking. Save money. Plus I’m a good cook.

19. Spicy Food or Mild: idk it depends. Some things taste better spicy, some things taste better mild. But I don’t think I’ve ever made anything without adding hella seasonings...

20. Halloween/Samhin or Solistice/Yule/Christmas: idk does it matter when you don’t celebrate anything? I like Halloween though. For the aesthetic.

21. Little too cold or little too hot: Can I just have normal temperature...? Probs too hot. I feel like I will fall asleep and never wake up if it’s too cold. Plus, I have lived just fine in the literal desert without AC. But I have also lived in a place where I could see my breath indoors and...no thanks...I don’t want that for me ever again. I want to be able to feel all my extremities. I have too many bad cold experiences.

22. Superpower: Um, teleportation? That would solve the issue of global food distribution. 

23. Animation or Live Action: Animation for sure.

24. Paragon or Renegade: ???? I try to be a paragon but I guess I’m always a renegade. Unwilling renegade?

25. Bath or Showers: When was the last time I had a bath...

26. Team Cap or Team Ironman: This breaks my heart cuz like. In the movie, Tony was just trying to do Good(TM). - @kayvsworld I usually like Steve but I didn’t like him all that much in that movie.

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Eh? Idk, neither? I consume more fantasy media though. (fantasy costco theme song plays in the background)

28. Fav Quotes:  We often complain about “society” as a whole, but what we often forget is that we comprise society. If we want to change society, we must change ourselves. (fuck I think that was a quote from myself - what an asshole)

29. Youtube or Netflix: I don’t follow any youtubers, so I just use youtube for music. I guess Netflix.

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Never read either. *shrinks away in fear from all the hate I’ll get for this*

31. When I Feel Accomplished: When I’ve helped make someone happy (:

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: idk it’s been a long time since I’ve watched Star Trek. I remember I liekd Data and that was it. I know it had some pretty monumental moments, like first interracial kiss - and also had an Asian lead actor!! But I’m mostly caught up on Star Wars. So they each have their perks I guess.

33. Paperback Books or Hardback: Either? Paperback is easier to read, but I’m anxious not to damage to books.

34. A world without literature or music: idk - both would seem pretty shitty. I don’t listen to music much, but I play violin. But all the world’s history is contained in literature, so probs literature.

35. Who was the last person to make me laugh: idk probs @necromilk 

36. Sour or Sweet Candy: Both? I don’t eat candy much. 

37. Believe in aliens?: Um, I think it’s statistically improbable that extraterrestrial life does not exist. It’s just....not very likely that there are no “aliens”

38. Dawn or Dusk: Well I like sunsets more than sunrises, so dusk? BUT. There is nothing more satisfying than waking up at the ass crack of dawn, just as the sun rises. Idk.

39. Piercings or Tattoos: I have a piercing but not a tattoo, so I guess...piercings? I could see myself getting more piercings but not really tattoos.

40. Girls? Hot?: Yes.

41. Snow or Fog: Snow! It’s better than rain because the slow melting allows better percolation into the ground without runoff. (:

42. Sleep facing the wall or room: idk doesn’t matter. I move around too much (both locations, sleeping arrangements, and in my sleep) for it to matter. When I’m tired, I just crash.

43. TRC of AFTG: what.

44. Horror or Drama: uM.... I’m a big weenie who is bad at horror. But dramas are kind of boring :/

45. Orcarina of Time or Majora’s Mask: Are these video games....

46. Living in nature or city: Definitely nature. Like I said, I could live just fine in the woods.

47. Any addictions: Uh...tumblr...?

48. Languages: English and French are the only fluent ones. Then I got lil bits of: Chinese, German, Hindi.

49. What music do I listen too: Fuck anything. Mostly 60s-80s junk. Musicals stuff? Music from cartoons. Schoolhouse rock. Crap, basically. Oh, I do like electroswing though. (:

50. Fav mythical creature: idk m8. I don’t put much thought into this stuff. Sphinxes are cool I guess. Riddles n shit. (I’ve got hella centaur characters tho)

51. Safe zone: I’m never safe. Anywhere. >_>

52. First fandom: Um, power rangers? Maybe? I learned English watching Power Rangers.

53. Cartoons or Adult Shows: Cartoons probs. I’m a big baby.

54. Current music: Uh, Griffin McElroy’s soundcloud.

55. Favorite starter?: Is this a pokemon question?

56.  What would your witch’s familiar be? That’s an animal, right? Probably something useless, like a chinchilla. 

Tagging....  

@interstellerace  @smol-lucio @bees-smile-at-flowers @elsendor-personal @iamterra @mongooseland @not-even-a-grandma @a-common-nook @blackturtlesofdeath @machinedoggerism @arebone

I believe @syntaxeme was already tagged but you might wanna see my responses haha

People I wanna tag but can’t seem to tag: @spunkiestein and @llucioo 

[dani-fandom]

My thoughts on Voltron Season 2

So I’ve now watched the whole season 2 times, and I have a shit ton of thoughts about it. Obviously, super spoiler-y and pretty long. Under the read more.

By episodes, kind of

First of all,

Pidge is a beautiful tech genius and I love my daughter so much

I mean, she was able to transmit her lion’s signal to the castle out of junk??? Actual garbage??? Genius.

Shiro has the most millenial kind of humor - joking about his gaping wound??? Calm the fuck down sir

Coran had a Major Alex Armstrong phase and it was amazing

HE HAS THE MUSTACHE AND THE HAIR CURL

Seriously, did you see those arms??? Coran is ripped as fuck

He also had an emo teenage phase and it was the funniest thing ive ever seen

Underwater episode!!!! 

I would like to thank not only God but also Jesus for the entire episode of nothing but Hunk and Lance moments.

My blue baby boy saving the day

So now we finally know how Shiro escaped and i have mixed feelings about it

Also, I want to quickly talk about how I’ve seen people saying that Allura is being “racist” towards the Galra??? Um, how???

They literally annihilated her home planet and countless others, enslaving nations, and killing all of her family save Coran?

I think bitterness, distrust, and pure hatred are to be expected. 

I can say with 100% certainty that I would act the same way towards them, maybe even worse, and if you say you wouldn’t, I don’t trust you

This ep was good for the audience as a whole to show that all Galra are not the same, and there are those who work against him

Also good for the younger paladins to see, as their interactions with the Galra have mainly been very negative

They are more open to the idea of “good Galra”, though they have less reasons to not be, as opposed to Allura

I am living for the Pidge character growth in Greening the Cube tbh, my baby girl is amazing

Also Lance confirmed for skincare junkie I love my son

I almost cried laughing at the half-naked Klance scene

It’s exactly like the scene from Emperor’s New Groove and I could not stop seeing them as Pacha and Kuzco

That’s not my Hunk a dunk saving the day on Taujeer?? But it is!!!

I love him so much

Also, really uncomfortable with the whole Keith and Allura “bonding stuff” 

Like I get it, but it was handled very... interestingly

I dunno, it made me feel awkward

I feel like Keith is handled more like an adult in this particular season than Hunk and Lance, who are all the same age.

I’ll touch on this more in a bit, but I love that the Commander in this episode had more of a personality. You really got a feel on what kind of a Galra soldier he was, especially compared to the strictly cutthroat Galra like Sendak that we’ve dealt with in the past. 

Space Mall??? Space Mall!!!!

Let Allura get something sparkly goddammit

Alfor was in that picture with young Coran!!!!

So many theories about the origin of Voltron, and now we know that Alfor made the Black Lion which is both awesome and thought provoking

Did he make the others?

Did he choose the other pilots?

What exactly happened with Zarkon?

What happened to the other pilots???

I loved Hunk in this episode. He has been making a lot (too many in my opinion) of comments about food, but seeing him honestly enjoy cooking and enjoy the reactions people had to his food made me happy

So, uh, where’s the cow now?

We had some high quality Lance and Pidge interaction in this episode that I loved to bits

I also really enjoy the characterizations that the writers have been doing for the Galra

Like Sal, and Farkon seemed more like actual people and we could connect to them??? It was just great and started blurring the lines between good and bad even more

Also, “Farkon: Mall Cop” was hilarious

So many movie references I die

Also: Trans girl Pidge??? Trans girl Pidge!!!

Now, *cracks knuckles* onto The Blade of Mamora

Keith you are the main reason I stress, please just calm the fuck down 

“Shiro, you’re like a brother to me.” *longest yeah boi ever*

So Thace isn’t Keith’s dad, but Keith’s dad low-key looks like Shiro???

His mom was Galra??? Who the fuck??

We have never seen any female Galra (as far as we know)?

(Especially considering that Haggar isn’t Galra, or at least not a pure one)

Can someone please get this boy some medical attention? My heart rate is rising by the second

“The only way this is possible, is if Galra blood runs through your veins” *longest yeah boi ever*

There are so many unanswered questions holy fuck

Okay so next we get some quality bonding time between Hunk and Keith which is amazing

Honestly i love the two of them

Why did Hunk have to be sleep during the whole plan?? Let him be smart and contribute to the plan goddammit!!!

We get to see how chill Hunk really is with Galra Keith

But we don’t get to see how everyone else reacted to it.

How did Shiro react? How about Lance? Pidge?

We know Allura is pissed af, but what about Coran??? He went through the exact same things she did, but he’s cooler about it

if he’s being the more mature one and is able to look past it to still accept and love Keith, he should be talking to Allura about it, and be her advisor/second father

Again, I’m annoyed about how dismissive Allura is to Keith, but SHE HAS A JUSTIFIABLE REASON

AGAIN, how did CORAN react????

I really want to know who that Galra soldier was that Keith rescued

What if it was Matt or something? He probably wouldn’t have recognized either Keith or Hunk and he didn’t say anything

Or what if that was Keith’s mom?

Possibilities man

Haha, fart jokes

Seriously, why didn’t we get to see everyone else’s reactions?

Jailbreak episode!

Okay, Slav (or whatever it is) is THE most annoying thing ever, just had to get it out of the way

Shiro was reacting exactly how I would have

Honestly, Shiro was overall so relatable in this episode

We get information on Matt! It’s not alot but hey

Now we get to dive even deeper into theories about him joining a rebel group, since they saved him

Would not be surprised if(again) the person Keith saved ended up being Matt on some kind of rebel mission

Let’s talk about Lance in this episode. Got some quality content however

We were led to believe that there would be some sort of season long sub-plot dealing with Lance’s insecurities (or at least something longer than half an episode)

So when he had his doubts immediately cleared it was kind of lackluster because of expectations

Of course, this could be explored again in a later season. Since this one was very Keith-centric, maybe the next might focus more on other paladins? I could see this as being something that would be brought up later on

I guess we can’t be having too much angst at one time

I thought it was really cute how that Galra Commander (listen I can’t remember all these names) had a pet???

And he saved it when the air locks were opened???

So precious

Again with the bringing actual personalities to characters that we are supposed to view as “bad” or “evil”, good job team

Whoo-hoo, Allura solo mission time!!!

I feel like the skype call she had with Coran could have been a good time for them to discuss Galra Keith but what do i know

WE GET TO SEE MY GIRL SHAY AGAIN

Honestly, how in the hell did that Ro-beast survive? IT HAD NO HEAD

Fueled by pure spite, honestly relatable

“How did we beat it last time?”

You didn’t, babe

The Balmera stabbed it for you

Just saying

Also, I guess thank goodness there weren’t any lives on those moons(?) that the Ro-beast blew up

“Quit back-lion driving!” I love Hunk and Keith

So... did Keith get hit with a laser or nah?

Because that thing destroyed solid moons, and took out Hunk’s lion for like 5 minutes

But Keith was like, okay? So did the force just push him away?

Okay, so the Ro-beast is dead now right? Like it’s dead, dead?

Someone tell me its gone forever now

Coran fist-bumped Hunk, my life is complete

“Princess, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.” Is it about Keith??? About the Galra in general???

Aw.

Nevermind

AGAIN WITH THE GODDAMN HUNK FOOD JOKES, STOP PLEASE

PLEASE 

PLEASE

I liked the whole “remember when” stuff, it was cute

Uh, you guys obviously don’t understand how this stuff works; of course the universe will still need Voltron after Zarkon is gone

He’s spent 10,000 years building an empire.

Once he’s gone there’s still gonna be shit to do

Y’all ain’t goin’ anywhere

The plan is in motion yeahhhhh

I feel like Zarkon has taken on kind of a Macbeth type feel (though it has been almost three years since I’ve read Macbeth so I could be wrong)

He’s so obsessed with getting the Black Lion that he ignores the obvious trap

He probably thinks that once he gets the lion nothing else matters

Keith and Allura moment

ehhhh

i woulda rather seen a nice handshake, or an open-armed hug

but that’s, again, just me

it was a nice moment of Allura admitted that she was wrong to judge, so I did appreciate that

I really wish Thace could have like joined the group, and, you know, survived, but whatever

I also wish he had ended up being Keith’s father, but, you know, whatever

He was cool

When are we gonna learn more about the druids?? 

Are they all Galra soldier who were born using magic?

Or does Haggar hand-pick soldiers that she wants as druids, and gives them her magic??

Or are all Galra capable of some kind of magic?

I really just wanna know

I love magic like Pidge loves sciene

I am such a sucker for all of the backgrounds in this season

The space colors and the interior design of Galra ships???

Sign me up

Whenever someone says “it’s the only way” I always wonder if it really is the only way

I mean, is it really though?

Really really?

This is the second time someone has said that their life is most expendable than the life of a paladin of Voltron

I think it’d be interesting to have this line start haunting one of the paladins, maybe like Hunk or Lance, because I feel that they’re the most empathetic of the group

Maybe lead to future angst about being a paladin

How did Haggar not die from the explosion? She was RIGHT THERE

Or at least, make her injured

She seemed A-OK

Maybe she was able to teleport away in time

What powers that little platform that Zarkon is suspended on?

If the ship is off, shouldn’t that just... float away or something?

How did the wormhole blow up all of the smaller ships?

NOW FOR THE FINALE

Man it sure is a good thing that the entirety of Zarkon’s ship castle thing has absolutely no prisoners on it all

Otherwise they’d most certainly be dead!

I’m so glad we know for sure that there were ZERO PRISONERS

Honestly, where the fuck do they keep the prisoners????

So... someone remind me how they didn’t die from the quintessence being sucked out of them?

“If it destroys planets... what did it do to the paladins?” Nothing what so ever

Okay so Voltron is now immobile, but the paladins are somehow fine

Am I still watching Voltron or is this Neon Genesis Evangelion now?

Let’s never talk about how I thought for 5 solid minutes that Allura died

I literally started sobbing until I saw her on screen again

That was the worst thing ever

Okay now we’ll never talk about it again

Okay, so Shiro somehow ghosted through Zarkon and grabbed the bayard??? Interesting

So Haggar is Altean???? Gotta admit I didn’t see that coming

But now imagine the possibilities and theories

Why is she working with Zarkon?

How does she have magic?

Do many Alteans have magic?

Also, now we know Allura can use magic

Can she generate it, or just use what’s been transferred to her?

Again, how many Alteans have magic?

Is it something very rare?

Allura didn’t seem to know much about it or how it would affect her

HER MAGIC IS PINK AND BEAUTIFUL I LOVE IT

I LOVE WHEN THE ANIMATION CHANGES

I LOVE IT

Okay soo.... did Shiro like, ghost out of the lion???

Is he stuck in that astral realm???

Where the fuck did he go???

I’m not ready for Prince Lotor

OVERALL

I think Hunk and Lance, and to a point, Coran, were severely underdeveloped

I mean, Hunk had fantastic development last season, and had moments to showcase his smartness, but I feel like he was just the foodie and the guy who’s always sleeping this season

And again, I did want to see more about Lance’s insecurities, and his relationships with the other paladins, but if the next season focuses more on that, I’m fine with waiting

I feel like, all jokes and funniness aside, there’s a lot to Coran that we have not been able to see yet

The whole Keith is Galra thing would have been a perfect way to learn more about Coran based on how he reacted to it, but we only see how Allura reacts to it.

GALRA KEITH IS AWESOME but seriously??? Where is the scene that he tells everyone? Where are their reactions? You can’t seriously expect me to believe that the only person who feels bitter is Allura?

What about Pidge? Her family has been kidnapped by the Galra? You can’t tell me that she was weirded out by Keith for at least an hour or so??

Hunk and Lance, again, as I think they are the most empathetic, probably would get over the shock fairly quickly

Same for Shiro, because even though he was tortured by the Galra, he knows Keith (how he knows Keith we still don’t know) and probably was able to overlook it more easily

Coran should have acted the same way Allura did, or he should have talked to her. I’ve said this a million times, and I’ll keep saying it.

This season was overall very good for Keith’s development (which I loved, I love him) and it brought up new questions and a shocking cliffhanger

I just feel that there were some things that could have been dealt with better.

And I’m probably still missing some thoughts, but whatever.

Something to keep in mind, as it has been pointed out to me, that this season was most likely written and made well before the hype for Season 1 was in existence, so it’s more likely that Season 3 is going to be even more of what we want, now that they have an idea of the fanbase.

So uh, those are my thoughts, feel free to talk to me about your thoughts!!

[watercolourferns]

Dorcas Outline! Might be long too...

I’m ready to type down Dorcas’ outline.

Dorcas is the tallest of my Apprentices maxing out at 159 cms (62.5in) barefoot. DON’T CALL HIM SHORTY OR MAKE FUN OF HIS STATURE, he will have your head on a silver platter and eat it with gusto if you do. Lucio will help... he’s the only one who can make fun of his shortness...

He can be sassy af, specially when crossed. Only one that can top his sassiness from the Apprentices is Zayn. Lucio is proud of his sassiness, too.

He’s mute and partially deaf. He was born mute, he’s never been able to speak. He can make some sounds, but that’s about it. He also can partially hear, as in if you speak to him in a very deep voice he will hear you perfectly. I guess he will be able to hear Muriel’s voice no problem as long as he enunciates his words and doesn’t murmur. If all fails he will read lips, though. Just speak a bit slower than usual, he will have no problem understanding you. He can feel the vibrations of music, too, and will play it at ungodly volumes because of that. Nobody really minds, except maybe Nadia due to her migraines. Lucio certain loves the ruckus. 

He’s got a dirty mouth-er-dirty finge-He curses a lot!! No but really, if you cross him he will sign in such a way that Asra will cover Faust’s eyes. Of course Lucio adores that, having a foul mouth himself. They pick up words from each other and just... they are disaster together in that sense, specially if they are both angry.

Salty AF? Salty AF. But only because he hates to be told no. He can’t remember it, but his parents were over protective with him, they confused being mute and partially deaf with being completely unable to do anything and would make him remain in the house, unable to play with his peers, amongst other things like not letting him dress on his own or even cook himself meals, etc. He does retain a hate for the word no when applied to him and his needs, though. So if he expresses the want to do something and is told no, he will blow a raspberry in their face regardless who it is,  sign “You’re no fucking fun...” regardless if he’s understood or not, and will be salty all day to that person. He just needs to learn that everyone’s “no” is very different from his parents’ “no”. Lucio isn’t good with boundaries either, so it’s a 50/50 “we have to grow together” situation.

HE LOVES ANIMALS. If you think Zayn loves animals, oof, you need to see Dorcas with Lucio’s menagerie. He would sleep in there if he could. He will sleep with the puppers in bed, yes or yes. He loves to snuggle with them and hear their breath. It makes him feel safe, specially if Lucio is too busy with work and can’t come to bed early.

He’s an early bird, gets up at the crack of dawn, goes to bed around 9pm sharp. He’s a very heavy sleeper, nothing will wake him up, but for some reason he will wake up as soon as it’s dawn. He says it’s because of the smell, it changes when it’s dawn and his body knows and wakes him up, that’s why he sleeps with windows open. As such, on rainy days he will not get up until someone wakes him up. Nobody will contest him on that. Lucio doesn’t appreciate being rattled awake at such an ungodly hour by this ball of energy climbing down of the tall bed, though. 

Where Zayn is chill and Malakie is shy, Dorcas is an outgoing ball of energy and always on the move. Tour through Vesuvia even though he knows it like the back of his hand by now? Sure. A walk through the forest? Let’s make it a trek at a very energetic pace. Go camping with Lucio? Go camping with Lucio. Want to swim around the docks? He’ll beat you to it and you will have to pull him away from it as swimming is his passion. He doesn’t really understand exhaustion and WILL exercise himself to it if you let him. Lucio keeps a very close eye on him because of this and when he sees signs of exertion he will put a very firm stop to it. For someone who has problems with boundaries he can enforce this one pretty well. He will make sure Dorcas is well fed and well hydrated too, because in his haste to have fun and move and discover the youngster will forget to drink water or have his hourly snack. Volta and him are kitchen buddies as he has to eat a lot to keep up with his energy level; they will exchange their favourite recipes, as he’s also good at cooking, and will have snacks gifted by each other on their person’s at all times. 

Due to his energy he has great stamina in bed. And will be more than happy to jump in if Lucio shows any signs of wanting to have... fun.  He’s not a flirt like Zayn, but will match Lucio’s innuendos and keep up with him until he doesn’t understand one and will go all “Uh...?” about it. He doesn’t have a filthy mouth in bed like Lucio, but he loves that in Lucio so he doesn’t mind.

If he cares about you he will be eager to please. He’s not puppy-like like Malakie, but he will do anything in his power to see you happy and will go beyond expectations: He learned Lucio liked sword fights and wanted to spar with someone, so he went out of his way to learn sword fighting AND fencing AND kenjutsu just so Lucio could have a sparring partner in him. He learned Volta liked crunchy snack? He’ll go to Selasi and asked to be taught how to make the crispiest cookies, the crunchiest pretzels, the crackiest chips to keep her fully stocked. He’s just really extra that way.

He can be extra when dressing too, but the accessories and things get in the way of his energy, so he will put them aside in favour of comfortable, loose clothing. He will dress up for Lucio every now and then though.

Even if he can be salty, sassy, really extra, and have a foul mouth... he has no mean bone in his body, and will not be mean to you and he’s very polite. He’s a ball of sunshine and smiles and silent laughter, and will ask for stuff with a smile and an energetic please and thank you then throw a “FUCK this is amazing!!” in there somewhere, so if you ask him to look mean and intimidating he will sweetly and comically fail, he just can’t look or act like that, even when salty he’s not mean about it... until you hurt Lucio, be it verbally or physically. Then he turns from a ball of energy to a ball of rage and evilness. And woe the person who had the audacity of doing such a thing, they will regret it the rest of their lives. The moment Lucio’s silvery eyes look hurt or sad he will have their revenge and he will be happy about it. 

On that note, he’s possessive as fuck about Lucio. He hates Valerius because of his past physical relationship with Lucio, and he only tolerates Nadia around Lucio because she’s nice to him and she’s the Countess and he’s polite. But if you so much as look at Lucio with a smidgen of interest he will cling to him for dear life and sign “He’s fucking mine, back off, you little shit!” as many times as it’s necessary for you to get the point across and leave the vicinity maybe even Vesuvia for good, and Lucio loves that. He will react a little bit like that with Volta, too, but he understands their just best kitchen buddies, and will let Vulgora whisk her away when needed. He’s just really possessive of the people he cares about very deeply. Don’t get me wrong, he cares about Asra as well, but not on the same level as the other two.

He loves Camio, and is very sad he can’t teach him how to say stuff to Lucio nor can he understand him when he’s squawking too shrilly. Regardless they share a weird bond Lucio is sometimes jealous over.

His favourite colours are jeweled tones of blue, red, and green. He doesn’t like wearing silver nor gold, but will wear brass and copper. He has matching pyjamas with Lucio, but mostly will wear the top of any pj’s Lucio is wearing, no questions asked. They are huge on him, but he loves that.

He hates kale with a passion. Does’t care who serves it to him, he will always give it to Volta, ALWAYS. Lucio could’ve spent hours cutting it up for him and he will only take a minuscule bite of it and then pass it to Volta. He just can’t stand the taste. 

He loves junk food though, the saltier, spicier, greasier it is, the better. Wanna get this kid to eat his veggies and fruits? Bribe him with fried shrimps, there’s no other way to do it. 

His magic is electric. As in he can channel electricity, create bolts with his hands, turn on bulbs, you name it. He’s a walking Tesla bobbin. Very apt for this ball of energy. He can lose control of it if he’s too stressed out, though, and if you touch him he will zap you a bit, like static electricity zaps. His hair will stand on end on those days, also in rainy days... so it kinda makes it hard to know which day it is unless you either ask him or can read his face. If he gets too too angry... well he hasn’t gotten THAT angry, but I don’t think it will be too good for anyone.

He’s got a familiar, who is a chocolate mitt ferret. His name is Sedendum, means lighting in Latin. He just loves his ferret, and they match each other in energy. He always carries it on his shoulders.

Dorcas is bidemisexual. He likes both binary genders, but can only have sexual attraction to people he can create a strong bond with first. He isn’t sexually attracted to Volta though, it’s a strict, kitchen buddy business there because he figures she’s with Vulgora, and he can’t figure out how polyamory works due to his possessiveness. As such, he’s strictly monogamous, so Lucio is his and he’s Lucio’s. No other way around it. Yep... longer than I expected as well...