#i remember one of them posted that corny shit of 'oh youre not one of those people who would drop a friend bc their partner told them to

[dragoncarrion]

is anyone else kind of tired of those instagram artists that use reels as a personal diary. like who gives a fuck. journal or something instead just get out of my sight

[kissitbttr]

ANA! ANA MY LUV!! idk much about miguel (a travesty i knoeww) but i saw ur fratboy post n now i cant stop drooling at the idea of fratboy!miguel introducing u to his frat buddies!! being so possessive: holding ur waist or pulling u to his lap; kissing ur neck even when his friends are right there. oh my goddd im gonna sob hes so!!!

SUNNY?! I AM BITING MY FIST OMG HE’D SOOO FREAKING POSSESSIVE UGH I LOVE IT WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT

bby you HAVE to hop on the miguel simp train!! HE IS SO FINEEEE😩😩

-

it was around after the third date when miguel nervously asked you to come to the frat house to meet his brothers. he didn’t want to overwhelm you of course, he knew how annoying and pushy his brothers could be but still, he would love for them to get to know you just as he had when he was with you,

you saw how nervous he got, but you assured him by squeezing his hand and telling him that you were okay with that. he smiled in return, kissing you softly on the lips as a thank you,

“i never express any gratitude towards anyone in my life except my parents but i want to thank you so much for finally saying yes, it was fucking annoying to hear him yapping about you non-stop. all of us had enough of his corny shit”

one of his frat brothers, glen had mentioned. feigning a relief expression while he smirked at miguel who gave him the finger,

“i literally thanked Jesus when i heard him going on a date with you, y/n! you are our life savior”

miguel threw his head back in annoyance, groaning at how his frat brothers continued to spill his secrets. but you giggled instead, looking over at him who avoided your gaze out of pure embarrassment.

“what else did he do?”

miguel shot you a warning look, “don’t encourage them, muñeca! they’d go all the way out!”

“oh believe me, we have many” beck had answered, playfully snickering at the amount of times miguel had ranted about you. “which one do you want to hear? one where he talked about you while he was high? or one where it was late at night—“

“fuck off, kingsley!” miguel had interrupted before he got too far, in which beck put his hands up in defense.

miguel snaked his arm around your waist, giving your hip three taps to prompt you to sit on his lap which you obliged.

you happily plopped yourself down on one of his thick thighs. he helped you with shifting your body into a comfortable position with your legs crossed.

the rest of the boys sat in the living room, piling in the same area as they all stared at the two of you. millions of questions running through their minds, desperate to know if miguel somehow blackmailed you into agreeing to go out on a date with him or something worse,

miguel sensed the stares from his brothers and, to be frank, it was quite uncomfortable. though he knew for sure they wanted to know the same thing.

“are you guys wondering how i got to take her out or what?”

they all responded with a ‘yes’ in unison, making him rub his temple and you smiled

“so? what did he do, y/n? because i’m starting to think this is a joke”

“could be. i mean, carlos went all 110% for a girl when she rejected his offer the first time” glen shrugged, earning a frown from carlos himself,

“i did not—“

“yes you did. you stood outside of the campus library with a boombox over your head” one boy chimed in while sipping his beer,

“okay see, i was—“

“oh! and remember when he threatened to pull his—“

“shut the fuck up! focus! we’re not here for me but for them!” carlos gestured his hand at both miguel and you. “can we leave my shit behind? that would be great”

carlos's cheeks went beet red as the other guys teased him for it, beck patted him on the back and told him that it was nothing to be ashamed of but carlos only swatted his hand away,

you found it so endearing at how the frat guys were so playful and funny with each other. typical boys will be boys type of thing. they were definitely far more different than when you see them during parties,

“well to be honest, he really didn’t have to do anything” you simply replied, tucking a hair behind your ear. “but definitely persistent, in the most politest way and less creepier though”

“you saying what i did was creepy?” carlos pointed at himself with a defeated look,

“i mean, if you had to ask then yeah”

the rest erupted in a peal of loud laughter while carlos’s shoulders slouched. propping his back against the chair with his arms crossed, a chorus of ‘see?’ and ‘i told you so’s’ made you laugh,

miguel settled his elbow on the armrest, eyes glinted with adoration whilst his mouth stretched into a lovesick grin. he watched how you managed to pull joy out of them and there’s nothing he’s appreciated more than that,

the way you threw your head back as another cute giggle escaped you while holding onto his shoulder for balance was enough to make his heart ponder,

“man, you’ve got wicked sense of humor, y/n—say if shit went sideways between the two of you, just know I’m available”

miguel frowned upon hearing that as his nose scrunched up in disgust as he leapt the nearest pillow at his brother’s direction for that comment. he wrapped his arm around your waist far more protectively,

“watch it” he warned, glaring at him. he knew it was a joke but he still didn’t like how that sounded, “i’ll kick your fucking ass, monty”

upon seeing that, your hand moved to find his cheek, lightly tapping his chin with your finger to get him to look at you,

“easy there, big boy” your words soothed him in seconds, especially when he heard his favorite nickname leaving your mouth, "I'm with you"

the confirmation made him giddy and his heart blossomed,

he moved dangerously close to your ear to whisper before kissing the back of it making you giggle. “you look so pretty tonight, muñeca” miguel dragged his fingertips up and down your exposed thigh, then squeezed the soft flesh. “so so pretty— do i get to see you in this dress more often?”

the question came off too excited despite his best trying to hide it, again, if there was nobody around, he'd actually take you right there and then.

you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “but I thought you like me better when i’m naked?”

“oh there’s no doubt about that, mi amor” he winked with a chuckle, “am i… about to get lucky tonight?”

“you might” a seductive response laced on your tone, winking at him as he squeezed your waist before

the boys let out a couple of groans and fake puking sounds at the sight, but the two of you remained still in your element,

''you guys make me sick" glen protested, shaking his head before getting up from the chair to walk away but you caught a small smile on his face,

"jealous you don't have a girlfriend, mayback?" miguel teased at him, glen only threw him the middle finger before cracking another can of beer from the kitchen,

the rest of the boys followed his actions after, not before congratulating miguel on scoring with you.

the word girlfriend made you bulldozed, eyes darted toward his smiling proud face before yours stretched into one as well,

"i'm your girlfriend?"

his smile faltered after he soon realized what he had just called you, he swallowed a nervous gulp. opening and closing his mouth because he was unsure what to say

you must admit you enjoyed seeing him like that.

"well i-i mean--i wasn't--surely you were--uh--what was the question again?"

you tucked your lower lip in between your teeth, head tilting to the side as the adorable man in front of you became a stuttering mess.

realizing that he is on the edge of a nervous breakdown, you leaned closer to his face before smashing your lips against his. his body went still by your action, but soon found himself lost in your kiss and sighed out of contentment,

you pulled away after a few seconds, tousling his soft chocolate hair before replying,

''i would love to be your girl, o'hara''

-

please please PLEASE tell me this is good!! i was writing this in the car and I couldn’t concentrate for a second because people were honking too much!! bhhshshs

[iayos]

𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 (𝐄𝐖𝐖) !

jjk boys and their icks… because no man is perfect…

jjk boys x implied fem!reader

cw : men being gross, slight nsfw in nanami’s part, very mild misogyny if you squint in megumi’s part, this post was literally just so i could rant kinda

a / n : long time no see… not much to say other than i’ve been busy !!! anyways hope you enjoy :)

yuji itadori - bad grammar

giving him the tamest one tbh because he’s such a sweetheart </3 idk why but i feel like he just has such shitty grammar… like he’s smart ! just not when it comes to grammar. for example, he mixes up his to, too, and two’s, his there’s, and don’t get me started on your vs you’re :/ again he’s the sweetest boy ever ! it’s just the fact he probably failed his lit classes…

megumi fushiguro - “females”…

i was so close to giving this to satoru but i didn’t cause he has shoko to hold him down, megumi on the other hand… look, i don’t think he’d say it in front of girls, but to other dudes, yk ? and i definitely don’t think it’s on purpose to try and be an asshole but it just happens. quickly unlearns it when he says it around maki though.

yuta okkotsu - referring to himself in third person

you guys know how elmo is like, “elmo wants to go to the park,” yeah… yuta does this. and no, it’s not ironically. he definitely thinks it’s cute too and sometimes it is ! but it’s to an extent. like it’s cute the first couple times where he is goes, “yuta loves you,” but then it gets weird and corny when he’s like, “yuta wants to get dinner,” like ermmmm ok…

toge inumaki - fish pics.

as someone who lives in those south i see these OFTEN. for those who don’t know, fish pics are basically when dudes hold up fish they caught while fishing and post pictures of them holding it… i think the main problem with this to me is that a lot of very weird and racist men do it, so that’s why i hate it. anyways i’m 90% sure he has an official art where he’s holding a fish ( i also didn’t know what ick to give him ).

satoru gojo - his height is his whole personality

this shit irks me so bad omg. as someone who’s short ( 5’0 ) and hates seeing other short people make their whole personality their height, it’s even worst when it’s a tall person. satoru is definitely the type to be like, “omg guysss i bumped my head otw hereeee i’m so tallll,” like no you’re just stupid ! he definitely has other icks but this was the main one i could think of… ik he gets on everyone’s nerves.

suguru geto - says “my bad” instead of “im sorry”

another personal one tbh. i hate hate hate when people do this especially if it’s something serious. i remember one time someone pushed me in the mud ( i didn’t fully go on, just my foot ) and i got mud all over my white shoes and they have the audacity to go, “my bad,” like yeah it is your bad lmao. anyways, suguru def does this often especially to shoko. i feel like he’s pretty clumsy and say if shoko’s studying and he knocks over a drink onto her books he’ll say “my bad” and not even attempt to help her clean it up. like dude at least say sorry or something idk ???

nanami kento - calls his dick anything but a dick

“my member” you are grown !!! say dick !!! he does it to be ‘classy’ but like, he is pushing 30 doing this, just say dick. i also think it’s a shame thing ? idk probably hanging out with stsg for most of his teen years rotted his brain so he hates hearing really nasty stuff but he won’t even say penis half the time. like it’s really not that serious nobody wants to call your dick a phallus ( it was also really hard to give him an ick ).

choso - using 🥺 / 🥹

oh BROTHERRRR this one pisses me off. i hate both of those emojis in general but especially when men do it, it’s cornball behavior. like aren’t you supposed to be fighting in wars ? stand up. but i don’t think he has any ill intentions at all, honestly just picks emojis that represent his mood often. however he definitely uses 😂 instead of 😭… sorry choso…

song : ick - lay bankz

[satorusluvrgirl]

PRETTY LIPS (H.IWAIZUMI)

synopsis… in which y/n encounters her old highschool sneaky link at a party! fem reader x iwaizumi! (she/her pronouns)

warnings… alcohol, drunk sex, public sex, oral (m receiving & f receiving) rough sex, profanity, degrading kink, timeskip iwaizumi.

A/N… this is my first nsfw post. please be nice

You found yourself at the volleyball reunion gala that you swore to yourself you weren’t going to go to. But of course when having a friend like oikawa.. he was a hard person to say no to. So now here you are, in a red tight dress that shows off your curves, paired with black heels, your hair and makeup done elegantly, and with your little purse to match your outfit.

It sounded corny but you took a deep breath before going in and seeing all these guys you knew from high school. Your highlight of your high school year is being the volleyball manager for Aboa Johsai. Thanks to, Oikawa. Without his constant begging and pleading you wouldn’t have took the opportunity, but glad you did take it.

You walked in the venue, your eyes going everywhere around the place, admiring all the details they did for this gala. As you went further in the venue you started to see some of the other people from the different schools you played against during volleyball season. Some of them giving you a smile or a wave. But of course no one came up to you, so you made your way to the the bar and started ordering drink after drink.

Usually your alcohol tolerance was low but today you really felt it kicking in you. Your lips always touching the glass and leaving the color of the lip stain you were wearing on it. But also just sitting alone and looking around, seeing more people from high school, your ex crushes, ex best friends. It couldn’t have gone more worse until you spotted your old hookup. Iwaizumi Hajime, oh the boy you were deeply hooked on after giving you the night of your life.

Remembering the way he used to fuck your guts, his big cock always being to big for your tight pussy. The pussy he would always crave after practices or sometimes when he would get into an argument and needed the stress off of him, so he would use you. Or when he would fuck the shit out of you in the club room while covering your mouth as his balls would be smacking the back of your ass. The way he would pretend you guys were just friends but then in the night he would be calling you to come over so he could pound you out while calling you a “good girl” or “sweetheart”. Just the thought of him made your pussy a little wet

Iwaizumi smirked to himself as he saw you sipping on your drink. His eyes wandering on your body, as well as your face. Those pretty lips of yours.. how he missed them around his cock. He felt himself staring to hard and looked away putting his hand on his face, covering his eyes. He took a deep breath and approached you.

“hey pretty, it’s been a long time huh?” he took the seat next to you and put his arm around you, pulling you close. “haha yeah it has been. how have you been haji?”. That damn nickname always got the best of him and you knew it.

“i’ve been doing good” he nodded, “how about you? what have you been up to these days?” he whispered in your ear. “well just always writing about the teams and just journaling” you responded to him, making him nod at your every word now and then.

“well that’s good, i’m glad you went the way you wanted” he smiled, he was actually happy for you. “are you still training some of the guys here?” you looked over your shoulder at him. “yeah I actually am still. you know I could be your personal trainer..” you laughed as he winked at you. “maybe I will” you giggled, taking a sip out of your drink.

AN HOUR HAS PAST, you and iwaizumi were really drunk. you both kept ordering drinks after drinks. Talking and catching up with one another. Laughing at iwaizumis stupid uncle jokes he made. You forgot how he used to make you laugh, especially joke around with you. It made you feel bad on how you cut him off, he was thinking about it as well and decided to ask you.

“you know we had a good connection, pretty. why did you let go of us like that?” he tilted his head at you. You felt yourself tense up a bit, “haji.. you knew we weren’t going to last after high school you know with uhm.. hooking up. so I just let us go” you shrugged your shoulders, taking another sip out of drink. “i’m not letting that happen again.” he said in a serious tone.

You raised your brow in confusion, “what do you mean?..” he smirked, “i’m not letting you go, sweetheart” you felt yourself smile. you both sat there in silence before iwaizumi broke it. “I miss these pretty lips gobbling on my cock” he ran his thumb on your bottom lip and insert it in your mouth.

“suck on it, sweetheart” you wasted no time and started sucking on his thumb while looking at him. he was really enjoying it, as he missed your warm mouth around his throbbing cock. It only made him want you even more. Iwaizumi took his thumb out your mouth, grabbing your hand and taking you to a private bathroom, locking it behind him.

“get on your knees” he commanded. you got on your knees like he asked, looking up at him. he unbuckled his pants bringing them down to his ankles along with his boxers. his throbbing cock sprung out, his pre cum on the tip. you felt your mouth water, “cmon babygirl, you know how to do it” iwaizumi caressed your cheek and slowly inserted his cock in your mouth.

You swirled your tongue around his tip before you took his whole size in your mouth. “fuck I miss this mouth wrapped around my cock” iwaizumi groaned, putting his hands on your jaw. You looked up at him while he started thrusting into your mouth. Pools of saliva were pouring out of the corner of your mouth. Your eyebrows scrunched up together as you kept gagging when his cock hit the back of your throat.

You removed his hands off your jaw, intertwining your fingers with his, your head bobbling up and down on him, earning little moans and groans from him. Poor Iwaizumi hasn’t been in pleasure like this in a long time, making him in a moaning mess. The way you took him was driving him nuts, your eyes on him, looking for his reaction and you knew that he clearly missed you.

“taking my cock s-so ngh well” iwaizumi moaned out. You nodded as tears were falling from the corner of your eyes, “fuck I-I gotta.. take a pic of your lips gobbling on my cock” Iwaizumi took out his phone, letting go of your intertwined fingers as he opened his phone going to the camera app. He positioned his camera, his hands caressing your jaw. He pressed the button, the flash pointing on you looking up at him his cock deep in your mouth. “such a good fucking girl” he cooed as he viewed the picture and threw his phone to the side.

He grabbed your head guiding it as the pace became fast each second. He adored your mouth especially the way you let out moans against his cock. It only made him reach his peak. His cock twitching inside, letting you know he was about to bust his load in your mouth. “ah f-fuck! I-i’m gonna cum, babygirl” he moaned, his eyes focusing on you. “c-can I cum in your mouth?.” he groaned, you eagerly nodded. “ha! such a good girl for me” he let out a breathless laugh and groaned.

You soon felt his load in your mouth, his moan a little loud. Iwaizumis legs trembling a bit as the pleasure felt so damn good. You stuck out your tongue showing him the cum and then swallowing it. “such a good girl, now it’s my turn.. let me get a taste of that pretty pussy”

He helped you on the counter of the sink, spreading your legs as he got on his knees looking up at you. “be a good girl f’me, okay?” being desperate as you are you nodded at his request. He slowly dragged his lips on your inner thighs giving them kisses. You watched as he gave kisses, slowly moving to your wet pussy that was already dripping.

He took a smell and smirked, without a warning his tongue immediately lapped on your wet folds making you let out a gasp. It was so unfair on how his mouth felt against your clit, little groans and moans against your pussy just turned you on even more. “I-Iwa! n-ngh! you feel so.. g-good” you struggled with the words coming out of your mouth. The moans and whimpers Iwaizumi was getting out of you just made him wanted you to cum on his face more.

He slowly inserted two of his long fingers in your clit, “A-Ah! h-haji!” your yelped out in pleasure, your toes curling. His fingers plumped in and out of deeply. “mmm, so fucking tight” He smirked, still slurping up your juices. You felt your jaw on the floor, your mouth making a “O” shape. He was really doing a number on you, his nose against pressed up against your clit. You knew he was deep in your pussy.

His tongue lapping on your juices and sucking on your clit was driving you to the edge. “I-I’m about to! ngh! cum!” you helped while tugging on his brown locks. “cum on my tongue, baby doll” he said against your pussy, his fingers plumping in and out of your pussy fast. His long slender fingers hitting all your spots.

You felt yourself release all your cum as he slurped up all of it, not letting one drop fall. He lifted his face off your pussy wiping the juices off his chin. “here taste yourself, baby” he grabbed you by the neck and smashed his lips onto yours, as you tasted yourself but also having a little makeout with him.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, his hands going to your thighs and holding them. He pulled away from the kiss and aligned his cock into the entrance of your pussy. “You ready, babygirl?” he smirked, you nodded eagerly and wrapped your arms around his neck. He slowly inserted himself in you, his cock being clenched around by your wet soaking pussy, making iwaizumi groan. “holy shit, after all these y-years your still fucking tight” his fingers digging in your thighs, earning a moan from your lips.

Soon, iwaizumi started thrusting in you, his size deep into you, “h-holy shit” you moaned, digging your nails into his back. “fuck” iwaizumi said while grunting. His pace started going fast, soon you felt your eyes roll to the back of your head in pleasure. “Look at you, ngh! being fucked like a slut” iwaizumi whispered in your ear.

Slapping skin sounds were being filled in the room, lewd moans. Iwaizumi made you feel so good, the way he was pounding in you deeply, hitting your g spot. Your gummy walls clenching around his cock. Iwaizumi looking into your eyes while fucking in you, his hand wrapped around your throat. “ooo yes, right there haji! faster, faster, faster please..” you wined.

“since you asked so fuck! nicely, sure thing babygirl” Iwaizumi grunted, picking up the pace faster* His hands kneading your ass as he thrust in you. “f-fuck! ngh! I missed this cock in me!” you whimpered. Of course you missed this, Iwaizumi always dicking you down, whispering in your ear how your his and no one could have you like how he does.

You felt his cock twitching in you, letting you know he was about to cum in you, which iwaizumi was very vocal about. “F-Fuck, I’m about” he moans, “cum, baby. Let me cum in that pretty pussy please.” he begged you, sounding like a little whiny kid begging for candy.

You nodded quickly, “f-fill me up please, ngh! haji”. Iwaizumi let out a breathless laugh and soon you felt his hot warm seed in your pussy. Thank god you were on your pill. “Holy s-shit!” He groaned loudly, eyebrows furrowed in pleasure. It sure has been a while ever since Iwaizumi got to cum inside his precious little high school hookup.

He slowly pulled out of you, cum dripping down your legs. Iwaizumi cleaned you up and helped you get your dress back on. Zipping up the back of your dress and making you look as normal and not like you just got piped down. As soon as iwaizumi was done getting ready, he pulled you by the neck and gave you a kiss, a long passionate kiss. “Thank you, pretty” he whispered making you smile.

The both of you carefully got out of the little private bathroom and blend in the gala like nothing happened. You and Iwaizumi still talking, his hands on your waist, his hands falling to your ass as you guys both were talking. Soon the night came to an end and you had to say your goodbyes.

“Well, thanks haji for not making this night not so boring” you giggled as he placed his finger under your chin smiling at you. “here type your number in my phone” he handed you his phone, making you freeze. “hajime! why would you put this as your lockscreen?!” you yelled showing him the lockscreen, which was the picture he took of you giving him head.

“I wanna be reminded how those pretty lips felt around my cock~..” he whispered before smashing his lips onto yours.

SOCIALS

instagram: ririslut_

tiktok: lluvrsriee

wattpad: kagsluvrgirl

[fandoomrants]

Sooo, just a small comment on some of the things I loved in the finale of PJO.

There are obviously gonna be spoilers here soo...

-The fight between Percy and Ares!!! I loved the wave and now it was a subtle way of showing Poseidon was indeed beside him.

-The scenes between Percy and Luke!!! "Look, you didn't want to be a half-blood...". I loved the addition of these flashbacks of Luke teaching Percy to fight.

-Olympus! Omg, it was so pretty!!!

-Percy immediately being a total little shit with Zeus, I loved that!

-Poseidon showing up to protect Percy!

-Percy understanding only the word for "father" in Ancient Greek. He knows it because of Sally!

-"Ares is a moron."

-Overall the whole exchange between Percy and Poseidon. It really is a big step from him being all bitter and it was a bit corny but I liked it still.

-When Percy reveals Luke is the Lightning thief!

-Luke not fighting Percy at first. I have thoughts about the whole thing but I'll put them later on.

-Luke snapping for a moment and attacking Percy only after he mentions his father.

-Annabeth and her dagger!

-"Wait, your name is Percy!" And later "I don't think so", This was sooo hilarious. Especially when you think about how he initially tried to lie to him he's his dad. I'm pretty sure Dionysus knows his and everyone's name very well, he just likes being a jerk.

-"Some place called Disneyland", tbh, I feel like Annabeth won't be thrilled. I certainly wasn't and I was still am pretty childish as a kid.

-Grover's license!

-Their pact! That was so cute!

-"What did you dream of?" "Grandpa.". For a moment there I was like "What!? Are they tring to make it look like it was all a dream or that they're trying to make it as if Sally doesn't remember!?" but a moment later I was like "Nope, that's Percy Jackson, of course he'd refer to Kronos as his grandpa even tho he's his biggest enemy rn"

-Blue pancakes!

-When Percy and Sally were leaving the apartment, Percy's last narrative and the rain outside!

-The devastating moment when I thought we're not seeing Gabe turned into a statue but juuuust in case skipping the credits (call it a feeling or sth) and...

-GABE TURNING INTO A STATUE!!!! I'm honestly so happy! I'm not even mad Sally didn't do it as it was implied in the books. But she was divorcing him! I know he wasn't portrayed as bad as he was in the books in the TV show but I still believe he was emotionally abusing and he was still a jerk even tho it was toned down. Also, he was such an annoying, whiny bit-$(#..

...

That's all I can think of rn, even tho I believe there were other things too.

Now, I gotta admit I've read the book a looong time ago so I don't remember everything in great details but I noticed lots of the changes in the episode and throughout the whole season. I still enjoyed the show a lot, tho. Most of the changes made sense and like... Come on, it's an adaptation! And Rick Riordan was involved in the process so I believe he knew what he was doing with all these changes.

Tbh, I liked the first two episodes a lot, then idk, the third, maybe fourth too, were a tiiny bit meh to me but overall, I loved it and loved the last couple of episodes! I have mixed feelings for some things like them knowing about Medusa, the Lotus casino and other stuff but again, I trusted the process and it worked! It's only 8 episodes and there was a lot to happen there so I can see why these changes were needed. Figuring all out would have taken them a lot of time. Also, it was as much for new fans as it was for new ones so of course some things had to be made differently. For example, how the whole thing about who would betray Percy was done.

I've been watching lots of videos and posts of new fans who haven't read the books and I was cackling like an old hag at their assumptions how it was gonna be Grover or sth. And you just can't convince me that episode 7 and Annabeth getting caught by one of the roots wasn't with the exact purpose of making people think "Oh, they are friends now, what if it's her?" It was really well-played. And let's not forget how everyone was like "Luke! Babyboy, so precious." Can't wait to see everyone's reactions now... (Luke is still these things, even though he is "bad guy")

Speaking of Luke, again, haven't read the books in a while but I somewhat don't remember him and Percy being that close and being such good buddies. Idk, might need to read them again but even though I didn't mind that dynamic too much, I really thought this is more like how Luke and Annabeth should have been. I feel like we needed more interactions between them. Also, Luke speaks randomly about her twice, first telling Percy about her and calling her "my little sister" and then last episode giving that example with the spiders (nopee, I don't believe itt, she won't crush it, she'll scream and run unless it's a huge spider, then she'll fight it because of her bf) but she barely (if not ever) mentioned him? Yeah, she mentioned Thalia but almost nothing of Luke?? How are you gonna convince me that was her hero!? She should have been broken by his betrayal much more than Percy! Also, they kinda made Luke somewhat of a big softie, I thought it was because then his betrayal would have been more devastating but nope, there wasn't some kind of a 180° turn in his behaviour. Wonder why, to make him more relatable or? I want to see how his further actions are going to play out in this scenario...

Anywayy, all in all, I enjoyed the show a lot and I hope there is a next season. I want to see how the story will proceed on the screen (and I hope the changes we keep getting aren't anything too essential).

[charmwasjess]

Twenty Fanfic Writer Questions Okay, this is embarrassing, because I got tagged in this like two weeks ago when I was in time zone stupor, copied the prompts out, and then forgot, and I think it was @stellanslashgeode who tagged me - if not, I will cry with embarrassment so don't tell me if I'm wrong.

And :'D I don't remember either who was tagged when it was going around, so here's some no pressure tags (and hop in if you want to play and I didn't tag you!) - @bolithesenate @calcedon79 @purple-ant @reconstructwriter

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

10!! :D Which is totally amazing to me. Where did they come from?! Who made them?!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

Oh god, almost 300k… I don’t have any explanation. 

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Just Star Wars! I can only handle one frenzied obsession at a time.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Sitting in the Dark, Five Days to Murder Sifo-Dyas, The Thunder Answered Back, Milk Run, and hey, aww, wow, Jedi Nights?! 

I’m a little surprised any of my Sifo-Dyas/Dooku stuff beat out anything else, it’s such a little tiny ship!

5. Do you respond to comments? 

I do, it's my favorite part. I get a tremendous amount of inspiration and energy from engaging with people who take the time to talk to me about my work. And friends, too! I have been in my fandom since I was like 11 or 12. I’ve made lifelong friends out of my comment sections.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

I'm a sucker for a happy ending so a lot of them end on an upbeat note, but I can’t imagine The Thunder Answered Back ending on anything other than a mixed note. I'm not gonna be able to undo Order 66, you know? It’s a salvage job, not a fix it. If Jocasta gets through the fic without killing Dooku, we will call it a happy ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

My corny Five Days to Kill Sifo-Dyas probably has the most classical happy ending for the saga but my favorite is the one in Sitting in the Dark - Qui-Gon waking up on the couch with Rael asleep next to him, and listening to Dooku and Jocasta and Sifo-Dyas wash up after the party. That little kid feeling of being safe and sleepy with your adult family happy and laughing softly nearby. 

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Ohhhh, if I had a dollar for every time one of my friends made some joke about me writing Count Dooku porn! But I don't care about that, if they actually read my shit, their pervert asses would become terribly addicted to it. They’d be begging at my door. “More old man yaoi! PLEASE!” (This is a joke, my local friends have been very nice about my return to fic writing and the teasing is loving.)

Weirdly, the nastiest hate comment on a fic I’ve ever gotten was in the Before era, when I was writing fic on my old teen account. It was on a young Knight-age Dooku/Jocasta one shot. It was a simple, very vanilla romantic moment with a T rating at best so I don't really get why the person was so worked up about it? I think they just couldn't get around Dooku and Jocasta (OLD PEOPLE?!?) written as young and attractive. For years, I was horribly embarrassed about the fic, like it must really actually truly suck to have someone spend so much time writing such an extensive hate comment. I must have really fucked up. 

I went back and reread it recently and realized: oh, no, it's a regular fic, they were just a fucking loser.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

The…sex kind!!

But yes, I do! Mostly Sifo-Dyas/Dooku these days, but also Jocasta/Dooku and once or twice the holy Trinity of the three. 

I was REALLY shy about posting it at first and I still kind of can’t believe I did, but it was absurdly good for me as a person. Great for my religious purity culture baggage, my teenage years as a closeted queer person, just a really freeing experience. 

And it’s hot. And you get to think about Dooku saying or thinking the word “erection,” which is worth it just for that. 

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

Nah, I’m boring.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Nope, but I have been lucky enough to help with the English in bringing several of Purple Ant’s remarkable works over from Russian. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Yep! In the Before time, I cowrote a lot, although I don’t think I posted much. One stands out: I remember this big rambling self-insert (we called them Mary Sues back then) I did with my bestie where we were transported to Star Wars world and we had to… I don’t exactly remember, but I think Obi-Wan falling in love with one or both of us was a big part? I went back and deleted it years later because it was so cringe. But that’s silly too - we were like twelve, of course it was silly and cringe! 

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? 

I tend to be pretty fucking stupid about Syku. 

It’s just. Two people who manage to collectively destroy their own universes together. They’re so connected in such strange, powerful, frightening ways, they know all of each other’s secrets, they were there on the worst days of each other’s lives, and will go on to be each other’s worst day of their life. And the way, even as they change, they can’t get away from each other, even though they both really try, it’s like they’re stuck in two orbits that have to cross. 

And then you read the dumb book, and see that they’re just stupid funny and cute together, idiots who finish each other’s sentences and call each other little nicknames… augh, the bizarre sweetness of it?! It kills me. It’s the narrative doom, but also the weird, enduring love that has Dooku giving Sifo-Dyas a Jedi funeral or trying so earnestly to tell Obi-Wan his crazy version of events with his death, or how Sifo-Dyas goes running back to him for the Clone thing after he already knows so much about how Dooku factors into the end game... 

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

I will definitely finish The Thunder Answered Back but I kind of doubt I’ll get to the two years worth of content and every individual character’s endgame storyline I envisioned out of it. I'll stick with Dooku, Jocasta, Scout, and Asajj.

16. What are your writing strengths? 

….this is embarrassing, but I tend to think I’m occasionally really funny. 

Even though my fics are really serious and I haven’t written any crack, I really try to put in moments of humor, depending on my POV character’s dialogue or internal monologue. I think my best humor comes about when I can get Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in A Situation, slinging shit back and forth. Those two just take off. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

I overwrite. My fics would be a lot more successful if I tightened up and left more on the cutting room floor. I get over attached to small moments of character at the expense of the plot (and let's be honest, word count.) 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

Hmm, does sign language count? That has been really fun in Rabbit Heart. A huge chunk of the fic happens in sign language. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

It’s got to be Milk Run, by a long shot. I’m really proud of that fic, but it was just such a blast to write. It was so fucking fun. And there’s all these little moments or tiny funny things I’ve left myself in it that are probably only funny to me, but they’re so funny to me. 

….Like, so, at one point in the fic, Sifo-Dyas is pissed at Dooku because he can tell he and Jocasta have been sleeping together, again, and this always happens, and he always has to clean this mess and play mediator when it inevitably implodes (and also maybe he is in love with Dooku a little bit?). So he’s furious about it, but pretending not to be, and so he bitchily tells Dooku the name of his ship is The Haru-Spicy, as in, a cooking pun, instead of the real name, The Haruspicy. And then Dooku spends the entire rest of the fic just wildly mispronouncing the name of the ship in his own POV chapters and to other characters? 

I love to imagine him saying it, all declarative, “The Haru-Spicy!” And everyone just stares like “do we correct him… or…?” Sifo-Dyas quietly soothing himself, chuckling over this small pettiness. Cracks me up.

[hiccupologist]

sections that I wrote a while ago of a heavily hiccup kink focused Crispin/Loboto fanfic; I enjoy how shamelessly tropey and silly it is, but honestly it's so iddy that I'd probably have a hard time posting it on ao3 or under any kind of tagging system. SO MUCH OTOMOTOPEIA. to be fair Cal literally says shit like "Rragh!" in the canon dialogue. and also there's some burping and heavy stomach petting and heavy discussion of horniness and orgasms and references to impending hands-free sex. and just like, very corny porny writing in general.

One particular night, he had been on guard duty when he heard what sounded like a squeaky hiccup echo through the court. He chalked it up to mental bias and wishful thinking. Then he heard voices coming towards him through the greenhouse.

  “Christ almighty, Cal, are those things going to stop any time soon?”

  “Ugh, it’s HIC all your fault! YouHICuck *gave* them to me!”

  Oh, God. This must be some strangely subtle wet dream. All evidence pointed to Loboto having the hiccups. And talking about them.

  “How the hell did I give you the hiccups?”

  “I t-told you UKK not to startle me! I HIC always get HUP the hiccups when I get HIC all jumpy!”

  Talking about them a *lot*. And they were about to get in the elevator. If there is a higher power, please let Dr. Loboto be one of those people who can’t shut up about their hiccups.

  “I expected you to punch me or something, not start squeaking!”

  Loboto made another exasperated noise. “Now you’re HUK making them worse bHICby making me HIC argue with you!”

  The mismatched pair came into view, Loboto standing up straight and rubbing his chest in a way that was cartoonishly sexual to Crispin but failed to register at all for either of the other men. He thought about how angry the doctor could get. If being upset and raising his voice made his hiccups worse, a meeting with his business partner boded very poorly for him. It was a pity he wouldn’t be there to witness things unfold.

  “Uhh, Christopher. Pippin.” The small general said, snapping his fingers in the air as he struggled to remember the name of the “employee” he barely spoke to. “Could you come with us? I don’t trust this one to hold anything without it going flying.” He gestured at Loboto, who looked a little embarassed.

---

Loboto is obviously starting to become distressed; he has so little self awareness, or perhaps such an underdeveloped sense of social norms, that he follows up his hiccups with pained noises and futilely rubs his tummy in an attempt to soothe his achy stomach. It’s all impossibly hot. Caligosto had apparently never quite absorbed the fact that adults, in general, don’t go around vocalizing their physical discomfort.

“Oughh! They’re HIC not going away!” He groans. “It’s HIC getting *worse*!”

Crispin tries to ignore the blood flowing to his groin from that little statement and decides to make himself useful as the doctor’s assistant. Ingratiating himself to Loboto was always good; not only did it assure he would love as comfortable a life as possible in the ruins, but he was fairly sure the man’s sex drive was motivated by ego stroking. “Don’t worry, Doctor, I’ll help you.”

Loboto perks up a little. “R-HICCULP-really? What do HIC do you mean?”

Crispin smiles. “I happen to know, er, a special medical technique to cure hiccups.”

“Oh! That would HIC be perfect!” He’s excited by the prospect of getting rid of his hiccups, but Crispin can tell he’s a little flustered about the idea of receiving treatment. After all, he’s a doctor! He can’t be a patient! The hint of a lavender blush is beginning to appear on his face. “What do I HIC need to do?”

“Just lean back in your bed and we can start.”

 Caligosto nods and crawls into the bed he’s constructed, two hospital cots welded together and padded with extra pillows and mattresses. He puts a pillow up against the wall and reclines, resting his hand protectively on his stomach. Oh no, he’s so cute. Laying in bed and looking at Crispin expectantly as his hiccups make his hand bounce. Crispin sits on the bed, positioning himself just between Loboto’s legs and leaning towards his abdomen.

“I’m going to touch your stomach now, alright?” Crispin says in his most soothing voice.

“Be careful!” Loboto squeaks. Crispin isn’t sure what he means until he presses his hand into Cal’s stomach and it actually makes him moan. Of course. He’s been locked up so long without intimacy that he must be dying of touch starvation. A gentle touch could very well do *things* to him.

Crispin doesn’t acknowledge the sounds. He wants to make Loboto feel comfortable. Plus, if he comments on them then Cal might try to stifle them, and we wouldn’t want *that*. He just rubs soft, firm circles into the doctor’s squishy middle, silently enjoying the soundtrack. Loboto honest to god sounds like he’s having an orgasm, and the way that his hiccups interrupt and distort his voice is absolutely wonderful.

Crispin draws a long line from Loboto’s pelvic bone all the way up to his sternum, and this produces a loud, sudden belch. Loboto immediately claps his hand to his mouth and apologizes. “Oops! Excuse HULP me, that just HIC snuck out!”

“Nonsense. If any air needs to come out, let it happen.” 

Caligosto didn’t know what to say at this point; they were both maintaining the facade that this was just a helpful stomach massage in a professional context. He finally managed “I thiHICink it’s HIC helping…” which almost makes Crispin laugh. It is very clearly not helping; Caligosto’s pulse is throbbing and he’s turned indigo from flushing and he’s breathing like he’s doing jumping jacks; if adrenaline is a problem for him, whatever cocktail of hormones his brain is releasing right now is so much worse.

[zalrb]

I was looking through your blog, and I saw a post about Leyton and the comet and when Peyton said “when you fixed my car, you fixed my heart” and it’s so stupid, and cringey (and I love it, I’m sorry. It’s just the type of bad stupid shit that I love.)

But my question is: what are some of the worst cringey/corny lines of dialogue you have heard in shows?

I also saw a post where you talked about your favourite romantic lines, and my second question is: what is the difference between corny/cringey and romantic to you?

The corniest lines of dialogue in shows is going to take longer because I immediately forget them for my sanity but we can just assume Leyton takes up a lot LMAO.

In terms of the difference between corny/cringey and romantic for me, with the exception of a few guilty pleasures where I'm like LOL THAT'S SO FUCKING CORNY, it's essentially when I find lines grounded and simple but emotional without going overboard in sentimentality combined with the context of the scene itself.

So, like Brucas for instance

it's direct and it's simple but it packs an emotional punch because a) earlier in the episode when she's like we'll be non-exclusive, he's like cooooool, coolcoolcoolcool, now he's letting her know that while he'll play by her rules, while she sets the pace and while he understands that, his feelings are not non-exclusive feelings because he's the one for her b) he says to her this when she's surrounded by various guys hitting on her and saying oh I'm not worried because they are nothing, but me? I'm the one for you.

Leyton, though, to me, sounds like something you think people in romantic situations say, it's very performative to me and that makes it feel disingenuous and makes me mutter, jesus christ, get a grip.

Another example good example of my lines is A Walk To Remember because I got into arguments about this as a preteen. I was totally cool with this line and thought it was romantic

because I was like I get it, she made peace with her circumstances, she had her faith and then Landon comes along and she wants more time with him and it's fucking everything up and I was like yeah! that makes sense! And then this happened

and I was like oh fuck OFF. Like, REALLY? Really, though? Death doesn't scare you but not being with him does? I can't. And then I become an asshole about it because he's all "That'll never happen" well no because she's going to die at the end of the year, so, I mean, unless you break up with her right now...

Or something like Fight My Way where they were friends for 20+ years and now they're dating and he's seeing her in a different light so when she walks out of her apartment in a dress, he claps

which is hilarious but also romantic to me and then he's like (which is compounded by the fact that he's a taekwondo athlete known for his spin kick)

and is, like, short-circuiting because of her legs

and kdramas have the ability to write something like this, like, "I may spin kick guys looking at your legs so go change into pants" as adorable and not controlling, which I don't think many Western shows would be able to pull off as well, like they do it in Coffee Prince too except she tells him what to wear.

[meherya]

Let's talk about The Brothers Sun :)

I think, my number one gripe with this show was that, I could see the potential... there were scenes where you could see the insane shit this show could have pulled off if it was written by literally ANYONE else

The first thing that really made me go 🤨 watching this show was the incessant references to #diasporaasiankidtingz.. I'd understand if it was here or there as some sort of comedy relief... But no it was literally every other scene if not every scene....

From a cop adjacent character eating buldak noodles at an active crime scene, to teaching a Taiwanese gangster the hidden asian mom language... it was just so... stupid? Is the only way I could describe it, it's like someone compiled a number of posts from Facebook's Subtle Asian Traits page and structured the story and dialogue around that? Thought it was kind of funny that they remembered "Asian" doesn't just mean East Asian when they threw in random brown girl from the morgue...

Actingwise, Justin Chien is by no means a bad actor, every scene where he speaks in mandarin his acting is a lot less wooden than when his dialogue is english and I genuinely believe it's because of the rigid way they wrote his lines in english... as for everyone else.... Sam Song Li was rlly putting his whole bussy into his americanized first gen immigrant kid schtick and like whatever...

I found the concept of this top Triad guy coming to LA to look after his mom and brother after an assassination attempt on their father to be intriguing... his mom was as cool as I expected (her own fight scene... ofc she should've been head bitch in charge!!!) but ofc his brother would be a whitewashed loser!! But you know, it could've worked!!! It could've been interesting if they didn't have Bruce emulating Marvel movie comedy all the fucking time... But if you think about it too hard you might go, why would the son/best fighter of this Triad leave the whole business behind to look after his mom/brother and not take back up with him?? Some math was simply not mathing... but we move on

There's just a lot of points that don't make sense plotwise? Like oh so now this random cop girl is actually childhood besties with Charles?... And the way they try to force some semblance of chemistry between the two with them hamfisting by them just going back and forth like "remember when-"... and their flirting was gag worthy bc they had her speaking huskily for no reason?? It was really lifeless sort of interactions and they were really trying for the star crossed lovers bit but it simply did not work sorry.... It was kind of fucked because the tension between Drowsy and Charles in like 1/4 of an episode was 10 times whatever the cop girl and Charles had going on.... Though I do appreciate it how the show does go "once a rat, always a rat" bc she really fucked that man just to get a bust on him like woah!!! Of all my grievances with that lacklustre romance I do appreciate them not being together and her being loner loser at the end.

But anyways... I think the show did decent job at showing how trying to live up to a parent's expectations can break you as a person and force you into a role you dgaf about, and how it's important to also put your needs first before you become a shell of a person... But also they could have done it without being corny as fuck...

I think the plot with this underdog group of anti-Triads would have been soo good, if it was integrated better? Also Grace randomly approaching Bruce like we all knew she was gonna be a traitor... And like!! She wasn't wrong!! Their group was wasn't wrong!!! Why should the Triads exist when all they do is profit off others misery??? Like we are supposed to cheer on the Triads why? Because that's who we follow largely, and because of Bruce's bitchass.... He pissed me off soo bad by the end it's not even funny...

Think the show could have had merit if Bruce decided to join Grace after seeing old bald dude get killed, and realizing how fucked his family is... Him snitching to a group of people who want to murder your family, claiming that was him trying to save his family from themselves.... And believing them when they say okay well we'll try not to kill them but no promises... How are you a pre-med when you're that stupid lol

I was gonna write paragraph of how I wanted to see this go and how they could have factored in Charles being ordered to kill Bruce (which was fucking insane by the way, my fave episode of the series) to be even more wild but like it's marketed as a comedy so whatever but man it was fucking corny as shit with random gaping plot holes that we really dont want to think too long and hard about .... I will say tho, kudos for not having white people in this as love interests or sidekicks so!!!! So 2/5

also curious what Taiwanese ppl think about that scene where Bruce just calls Charles Chinese... Ik Taiwan and China got some beef, idk the specifics of it but 👀

[lungfishpoem]

Okay absolutely nonsense oc bullshit go

Tw: brother abuse, uh trauma I guess. Also a bit of body horror ish gore ish on the last bits of the text

We have technically two stages of post-Evan Pierre. One is a with-clock and the other one is without-clock. Why? Because uh he completely lost notion of time and listen it's a bunch of nonsense pretty much but he cannot do shit without staring at a clock for hours because he has no notion of time or memory without one. Without-clock Pierre is a void of a person. He doesn’t remember Evan to the point where he accidentally calls him "my sister" (no, nothing transgender here it's just his memory being fucked. Ps you dont want Evan as a transgender icon). The only things he knows in this state is whoever is his doctor (he counts time with doctor visits), flowers he had in his garden, his mother (who he writes letters to) and an angel he believes to be his only friend (any coincidences with irl me are on purpose and SHUT UP!!!) . He is stuck in an almost motionless state, reactionless and overall blank state of emotions n shit like he is just like this all the time 😐. Then his doctors decided to give him a clock (!!!) and ever since then he slowly starts regaining sense of time and starts to try and do things with a strict routine which helps him recover slowly. Then he starts remembering shit (according to him his angel tells him about it all). And oh boy doesn't he HATE Evan. He however is constantly in the AGONY of seeing himself being similar to his brother. The way he smiles, the way he talks and tries to coerce people into doing what he wants. Every time he realizes that he wants to kill himself essentially. He smiles more, though not completely genuine. He is a bit more obvious with his clock and angel obsessions too. Staring at the floor becomes staring at the time and counting seconds until the time hits a chore time (like eating food time). Anyways I'm bad at explaining stuff I'm better at writing the fuckers. But I won't write so soon so whatever. Oh isn't Pierre DELIGHTED to meet Ian when he discovers that Ian dated Evan. Like oohh is it my brothers fault youre here too? :) :) isnt that funnney :) :) anyways want to date ME I pinky promise to be awesome differently from my horrid brother (he isnt awesome he is also a horrible bf but dont tell him that otherwise he'll go mad because he was once again haunted by how similar he is to Evan)

If you want to know WHY he hates Evan so much it's essentially because Evan hurt him in MANY ways and managed to always SOMEHOW put the blame on Pierre himself. Also Pierre because of this constant abuse got so traumatized that he developed whatever is wrong with him and then Evan proceeded to prohibit Pierre to visit their mother (who he loved very much) because "it would be bad for her health to see you in this state". So Pierre can only talk to her via letters in which he pretends to be OK. I'm still deciding if Evan ever tried one of his little Playing God art experiments on Pierre but chances are that yes. But since Pierre is alive it means he managed to escape or make Evan stop whatever he was doing. (Context: Evan likes stealing bodies to sew and mold them into more beautiful creatures in his taste. Trying to see if he can invent something completely new and consider himself better than God Itself. Something super corny like that).

(These ocs are overall speaking very corny over the top bullshit. Dont get me started on Ian.)

[isagisyoichi]

REALLY LIKE YOU

synopsis: boyfriend things they do :D some are cute and some are not LOL

characters included: isagi, bachira, oliver, reo, nagi, imamura, raichi, gagamaru, kunigami, niko, hiori, tabito, eita, yukimiya, nanase, sae

warnings: i think there's swearing idk

a/n: just clearing out my drafts loll also question does anyone understand the kpop refs in the titles :O

buys you flowers just because:

HIORI, KUNIGAMI, YUKIMIYA

matches instagram bios/pfps with you:

BACHIRA, NANASE, IMAMURA

does that thing boys do where he’ll point out obvious things out of nowhere. he’ll say something like “your shirt matches your eyes,” but he’s not trying to compliment you LOL, he’s just saying that:

NAGI, GAGAMARU, RIN, NIKO, EITA

when you two are walking together, he'll spontaneously take your hand and twirl you around:

OLIVER, HIORI, BACHIRA, REO, YUKIMIYA, KUNIGAMI

gives you victory kisses after a game:

REO, BACHIRA, RAICHI, IMAMURA, RYUSEI, SAE (does it in private but it's the thought that counts)

if he sees one of your exes or something, he taps you and says “oh look, it’s your little bf/gf over there🤣” and thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world:

OLIVER, RYUSEI, TABITO, IMAMURA

i know some people think this is corny but i think it’s cute LOL but he posts you on his story on those national “bf/gf/significant other” days:

NANASE, ISAGI, NARUHAYA, REO, RAICHI, BACHIRA, IMAMURA

picks up words and phrases you say often because he’s around you so much:

NAGI, BACHIRA, REO, ISAGI, CHIGIRI (he’s so annoyed when he realizes he’s started talking like you because why did he almost reply to isagi with “so true bestie” 😭)

is always invested in any gossip/drama you tell him. he remembers everything and gives his two cents on all issues brought to the table:

REO, EITA, RYUSEI, OLIVER, NARUHAYA, CHIGIRI, SAE (ok he's not invested but we all know he likes to talk shit)

says “babe, this goal is for you!” and then completely misses:

ISAGI, RAICHI, ZANTETSU, IMAMURA

walks around the school with you during lunch or before first period as if it’s some sort of date:

ISAGI, REO, HIORI, RIN, (he’s almost always busy with soccer so that was your guys’ compromise)

makes you a playlist of songs that remind him of you and your relationship together:

NIKO, HIORI, ISAGI, KUNIGAMI

purposely texts you at angel numbers:

REO, EITA, IMAMURA, OLIVER (irritating. all of them 😑)

takes you out for a spur of the moment adventure around the city at 3am:

RYUSEI, EITA, TABITO, BACHIRA (tried to be romantic and threw rocks at your window. didn’t see when you opened your window and kept throwing rocks and accidentally hit you in the eye😭)

complains about you making him watch your “stupid tv shows” and then ends up getting invested in all nine seasons of the vampire diaries:

REO, NAGI, TABITO, NARUHAYA, RAICHI

constantly talks to his friends and family about you and how much he loves you:

BACHIRA, NANASE, NARUHAYA, RAICHI

follows you everywhere. kinda inconvenient for when you have to like, pee and stuff but it’s endearing. kinda.

BACHIRA, NANASE, NARUHAYA, RYUSEI, GAGAMARU

gives you his jersey to wear at games:

RAICHI, RYUSEI, TABITO, BACHIRA, IMAMURA, REO

do that thing where they say “my bad” or “my fault” as they put their hand behind your back when they need to get through you:

KUNIGAMI, OLIVER, SAE, RAICHI, REO, NAGI

[romiantic]

GoM DOING THEIR BLACK S/O HAIR

→ INCLUDING aomine, kise, akashi, murasakibara, midorima

→ READING: black!fem!reader

→ GENRE + WARNINGS: fluff + corny jokes made by me, please ignore </3

→ A/N: these were so cute to make but took so much time :( + I got lazy with midorima’s part

𖦹 ₊˚. DAIKI AOMINE

♡ ྀ With Aomine, it’s a fun yet difficult process. He understands natural hair (a little bit of research helped out) but at the same time, it’s like ??? to him. So no, he sadly doesn’t know the difference between moisturizer and pomade

♡ ྀ But at the same time, it’s cute though. For some reason he can pick a new hairstyle just like that, may even call him the ace of natural hair (that was so corny I’m sorry). New popular braiding style? Wigs? Feed-in braids? He knows them all, he does trust me. This boy truly believes nobody can do hair like him, and I mean NOBODY, not even arrogant tae himself

♡ ྀ This boy acts like a damn black momma when he does your hair though. If you don’t stay still, he’ll lightly pop you with the comb and tell you to stay still. Don’t mutter anything too or he’ll pop you again. This boy is very impatient when it comes to your hair, especially if he’s concentrating. He looks cute concentrating on your hair too; tongue slightly stuck out, eyes closing in and leaning toward your hair, and a smirk/smile when he’s satisfied with the end result

♡ ྀ Besides that, it’s pretty much chill for the most part, background music or the tv is playing. If your favorite show is currently on, you guys would talk about it. If not, then you guys would talk about basketball, school, or anything that comes to mind

♡ ྀ FAVORITE HAIRSTYLE: Wigs! He hates cornrowing your hair though + he likes how creative you can get with them

𖦹 ₊˚. RYOTA KISE

♡ ྀ Just like Aomine, it’s like ??? for natural hair with Kise, except it’s...worse. Like when I tell you this boy is clueless, he is clueless. He absolutely knows nothing so he’s basically doing your hair blindfolded. Did it take some time to figure out the concept of natural hair? Yes, yes it did

♡ ྀ Even though Kise is, the majority of the time, clueless, he likes it though. With your hair, it’s like a new experience for him. Every new hairstyle he wants to try out, he takes his time with it, he doesn’t rush or anything with it. He doesn’t like when the hair doesn’t come out what it looks like in the pictures

♡ ྀ But along the way, he gets better and I mean wayyy better, his copy technique comes into play. One Youtube video and he already know how to triangle box braids, cornrows, knotless box braids, passion twist, he knows it ALL

♡ ྀ Now, let’s be honest here, the first few times with your hair weren’t the best...but he tried :) The first few times of him doing your hair were more so trial and error. Like this one time, you asked him to do some twist on your hair before you go to sleep but the way he was twisting, you would’ve thought he was doing locs on you...

♡ ྀ When Kise is doing your hair, he is very talkative, and I mean very. This boy will literally talk about anything and everything that flies out, and somehow someway your hair still comes out nice?? I don’t know how but it just happens okay

♡ ྀ FAVORITE HAIRSTYLE: Blonde wigs + passion twists

𖦹 ₊˚. SEIJURO AKASHI

♡ ྀ Oh boy, please don’t ever question this boy’s ability when it comes to hair. Akashi? Hair? Remember when he said doesn’t know how to do some hairstyles on my last knb post? Yeah, I lied, I completely lied. Akashi is the king, scratch that, Emperor when it comes to hair. He can pick up hairstyles just like that and refuse for your hair to be looking a hot mess

♡ ྀ Akashi believes in absolute perfection when it comes to your hair, he doesn’t care if it’s cornrows for your wigs, it’ll be the most perfect cornrows you got on. Shit, add some hair and you gonna be out here lookin cuteeee

♡ ྀ Now for products for your hair, you’re still gonna have to explain that to him what in the fuck is a denman brush and curl cream. When you tell him to grab the rat tail comb, he’s gonna be like ???. At this point, just grab the stuff yourself and let him do your hair

♡ ྀ Also, do not disturb this boy while he is doing your hair, especially when he’s in “the zone”. When he’s in the zone, he’s in the zone, parts are coming CLEAN and braids are braided nicely. Yes, it may be an awkward silence for a little bit but the outcomes are always worth it, trust me :)

♡ ྀ FAVORITE HAIRSTYLE: Box braids, they’re so simple + he believes you look elegant in them

𖦹 ₊˚. ATSUSHI MURASAKIBARA

♡ ྀ Murasakibara can actually be quite versatile when it comes to hair. This boy is very much a huge lover of your hair so really don’t be surprised if his fingers are always caught in your curls/coils. Sometimes he’ll catch himself making small parts and braiding your hair out of nowhere

♡ ྀ Now is Murasakibara the best hair stylist? Definitely not but he is def not the worst. That 6’10 boy knows a little bit of his way around the difference between styling gels or what hair tools you use. If you were to get you the eco styler and shea moisturizer, he’d actually get it correct, not on the first time though

♡ ྀ The thing is though, in order for you to get him to do your hair, you’d have to catch him on a good day to ask. If he’s in his lazy nature, he might do it; just reward him with food after. But if he’s, once in a blue moon, high spirited and not as lazy per usual, he’ll do it when you ask. Even better, tell him that you’ll wash his hair and he’s sold

♡ ྀ Murasakibara doing your hair is such an adorable sight actually; his body is bent over to take a whiff of your scented hair, the comb in his hair so he doesn’t forget it, his eyes concentrated to look for the rat tail comb that he lost, chatting around, or humming to whatever song is playing. Usually, he’s humming a 70s love song or a song that you constantly sing around the house

♡ ྀ FAVORITE HAIRSTYLE: Butterfly locs + feed-in braids

𖦹 ₊˚. SHINTARO MIDORIMA

♡ ྀ Midorima is a like a stubborn ass brick wall let’s be honest here. Like it shouldn’t be this hard to get your boyfriend to help you with your hair but with him it’s just…. It got to the point where you had to bring Takeo into it and it somewhat helped?? Not really but Mido did end up doing your hair :)

♡ ྀ Now that you got him to do your hair, trust me when I say this, he is top TIER when it comes to hair. Please do not play with this boy hair when it comes to your hair

♡ ྀ When it comes to Mido and your hair, those curls/coils gonna come lookin healthy AND moisturized. Hair detangled? Check. Hair has oil? Check. Parts are lookin clean and cut crisp? Check check! Sometimes he throws in a scalp massage, if he’s feeling nice

♡ ྀ You would’ve thought he was a hairstylist instead of a basketball player the way he was doing your hair

♡ ྀ Don’t ask him to intricate hairstyles cause he gonna at you like 🤨. No matter how much begging, that boy refuses to do them. But he doesn’t mind doing long knotless box braids??? Alright mido !!

♡ ྀ FAVORITE HAIRSTYLE: Box braids + natural low puffs

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: @blackweebtrash @tsumusitadori @h4zydreams @megurulvr @thechinadoll @mypimpademia @plutosexc @starkou

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— bye babes, drink your water and I love you MWAH 💕

#VOTP: 𝟏 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝟒:𝟏𝟔 💗

KUROKO’S BASKETBALL MASTERLIST + MAIN MASTERLIST

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟣 𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗆𝗂𝖺. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[somethingpoetichere]

lovebug- caliban imagine

sup. fic inspired by my favorite song in THE world. not as soft mushy as it may sound I promise caliban is a nice lil sarcastic SHIT with a big ole crush. mild sabrina bashing but its funny in context and I think it’s the way family behaves. reader is a Spellman, not a witch but DOES know about the supernatural/is part of the supernatural world. here with my once in a blue moon post lol. feedback would be appreciated!

called her for the first time yesterday

finally found the missing part of me

felt so close but you were far away

left me without anything to say

Caliban was not an idiot- he knew not to underestimate the Spellman half-witch that had gone and declared herself queen of hell. So he’d taken the liberty of learning everything he could about her, noting her habits and schedule and the people she surrounded herself with.

And then he found you.

You weren’t a witch- at least, he hadn’t found your name in his diligent searching through the Book of the Beast- but you were something. That he was sure of. There was something slightly off about your presence, tinged a little glittery, though not altogether unpleasant.

No, not unpleasant at all, he mused as he watched you make your way towards your car. Tucked into a little yellow sundress, you stood out like a ray of sunshine in the wave of doom-and-gloom that hallmarked high school. The school bell rang out behind you, and Caliban felt his knees go disgustingly weak as you smiled brilliantly at Sabrina through the crowd.

It was a stupid, stupid decision that Caliban would never have made in the right state of mind, but he reasoned that pissing off Sabrina was validation enough to get your attention. He ducked into your path on purpose, taking advantage of your momentary distraction as he gently bumped into you. oops.

You collided with a solid wall, books tumbling out of your hands as strong arms reached out to steady you. You let out a surprised yelp at the collision, peeking up curiously as the wall you’d hit laughed.

Oh, well that was a sight for sore eyes.

The golden haired stranger holding you was, well, gorgeous. Bright blue eyes peered down at you as he grinned, and you felt the whole world shutter around you. You’d definitely been watching too many soap operas with your auntie, but goddamn it if you weren't positively putty.

“Hi there, stranger.” You giggled nervously, and Caliban suddenly remembered he’d had his arms around you for far too long to be acceptable. He reluctantly retreated, feeling something claw a little uncomfortably in his chest.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He apologized, moving to pick up your books as you bent down to retrieve them. He ran a hand through his hair in barely concealed bashfulness, unsure of why he felt so... unsettled, all of a sudden. 

“It’s alright, my head was in the clouds.” You waved off his apology, accepting the books he offered you with a grateful smile. “Are you new here? I don’t think we’ve met.”

“He’s new here!” Sabrina’s shrill voice interrupted, training her icy glare on Caliban, who fought back a smirk. “This is Caliban- he’s from... Australia! Yeah, down under!”

“Oh, I can show you around tomorrow! I know how scary it can be to be new here.” You patted his arm sympathetically, ignoring Sabrina’s stream of indignant protests. “I was with student council all day. If you’re a senior, we probably have most of the same classes.”

Caliban had shit to do. Caliban had trials to plan and souls to torture. But you were looking at him- all warmth and sunshine, and Sabrina’s look of pure horror only sweetened the deal.

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow then, sunshine.”

so worth it.

now i'm speechless, over the edge

i'm just breathless

i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again

hopeless, head over heels in the moment

i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again

Caliban didn't understand why the mortals all bemoaned high school as hell on earth. It certainly wasn't so bad once you got past the wave of body spray and the questionable cafeteria food. In fact, darting to class with a pretty girl beside him was pretty enjoyable, all things considered. 

You’d spent the day introducing him to the other students, passing him silly notes in class, and had even tugged him from the lunch room to hang out with your friends in the library. He learned that you pretty much did it all- student council, cheerleader, top of your class- all while managing to somehow know the name of everyone you passed with a smile in the halls. You were silly and sweet— smart as all hell with a wit that certainly kept the clay prince on his toes.

and he was smitten.

The groan that escaped your painted lips was delightfully sinful as you slumped in the seat beside him in english class. “I hate Romeo and Juliet. How do two people fall in love in a few days anyhow? And Mrs. Willows always makes us reenact the scenes, and it’s so corny.” The blush that colored your cheeks as he looked at you in concern was something he did his best to commit to memory- cheesiness be damned, Caliban was enjoying himself far too much.

Caliban smirked, skimming through the booklet he’d been passed as the teacher droned. The prince of hell had a certain flare for the dramatics, and Sabrina’s glare burning into the back of his head only fueled his antics. He had one scene in mind, and it was the scene that was certain to kill four birds with one stone- totally make you fall in love with him, he would somehow manage to kiss you (that part was a work in progress), piss off Sabrina, and also- piss off Sabrina.

And kiss you. So maybe five parts. Damn it, Caliban was going to have to make a list.

“Partners?” He whispered softly, gently tugging at your hand as the teacher sat back down. Caliban’s eyes were alight with a tinge of mischief that you either failed to notice or were simply amused by- and your answering nod was more than a little bashful. “We can do my favorite scene.”

“If you say the first kiss scene, I’m punching the daylights out of you.” You warned, playfully nudging his knee with your own. “It will be unkind and I will not feel bad.”

“My lady wounds me.” He dramatically rested his hand above his heart. “And we absolutely have to do this scene-” He raised his hand to silence your half-hearted protests- “because Billy told the guys in calculus that he was specifically going to be pissed if we did this scene.”

Okay, so maybe he’d stretched the truth a little bit. But Caliban knew that the mention of your seedy ex-boyfriend (who you’d enlightened him about during lunch) would absolutely get you to agree to the scene. And it wasn't like he’d lied— Billy Marlin’s glare was nearly as icy as Sabrina’s. And, it wasn't like the way Billy looked at you- with something akin to possession in his eyes- totally made Caliban want to fast track the kid to damnation right then and there. Nope.

“We can meet up later today to practice? I have cheerleading practice after school, but I’m free after that!” You grinned at him, and he felt the tension ease out of his shoulders as you rested your hand on his arm. The gesture was so effortless- but to Caliban, who’d never really experienced connection like this- you reduced him to all but clay again.

“I can drive you home after practice?” Caliban offered, enjoying the yelp that Sabrina let out from the back of the classroom. He shouldered your bag as the bell sounded, noting the way your eyes softened even further at the gesture. “We don't really have cheerleaders down under, you know.”

“You’re welcome to stay and watch.” You shrugged, ignoring the way your heart thudded erratically as he walked you to the locker room. “It won’t be too long today, and Sabrina has a date with Nick after, anyways.”

it was really just too easy.

i can't get your smile out of my mind

i think about your eyes all the time

you're beautiful but you don't even try

(you don't even, don't even try)

modesty is just so hard to find

Caliban wasn’t sure if he regretted his earlier offer. Sure, the sight of you tucked into the tight cheerleading uniform (did they make them that short on purpose?) was pretty much the pinnacle of male fantasy, and the smiles and winks you’d thrown his way whenever he caught your eye during your routines were something else altogether.

But getting the sight out of his brain as you rambled aimlessly in the car about today’s chapters of Dante’s Inferno, while he simultaneously tried to focus on the road and definitely not the way your skirt hitched on the leather seat...

Yeah, Caliban was pretty sure he was in love.

You weren’t too far off, in all honesty. Caliban’s large hands had a firm grip on the steering wheel, and you took the time to admire further up his toned arms as he drove. His hair fell in loose, windswept waves, and his side profile looked like it was sculpted by the freaking gods. Every so often he would glance your way, his perfect lips parting to reveal his perfect teeth and perfect smile and gods-

Yeah, you had the lovebug bad.

“So how did you meet Sabrina?” You questioned innocently enough, and Caliban had to restrain the urge to spill all of the hell-related gossip to you. How Sabrina had managed to keep all of her throne-seeking from you was beyond him, but it certainly added a thrill to his pursuit of you.

“I had some administrative issues the other day and ran into her. She doesn’t like me too much, I’ve gathered.” Caliban was careful not to lie- his entanglement with you had the added perk of pissing off your dearest cousin, but it was genuine on Caliban’s end. He found he didn’t really want to lie about things.

“Sabrina is... touchy.” You offered carefully, shifting in your seat as you pointed out directions to your home. “I don’t really understand why she doesn't like you, to be honest. I was actually going to have a word with her about being nice- you’ve been so sweet, and I was the new kid too a few years back. It's hard to find your place in the established dynamic of a small town.”

Caliban doubted you’d had too much of an issue, with the way the halls seemed to light up around you, but the accompanying smile you gave him was bright enough to soothe his imagined woes. “It’s alright, I reckon she’ll get used to having me around.”

“Used to you?” You mused with a giggle, leaning on the console in a gesture that brought your face much, much closer to his own. He was overwhelmed with your floral scent- something soft and summery and altogether you.

“I plan on being around you a lot, sunshine. If you don’t mind.” He grinned, turning to face you momentarily at the stop sign. Your eyes were wide with hardly concealed surprise at his words, and he watched the realization of the close proximity of his face flicker through them.

It happened so fast that Caliban was almost certain he imagined it- but your eyes had definitely glanced at his lips. The blush that tinged your cheeks as you pulled back confirmed it, and in a moment of calculated risk, Caliban moved to rest his hand on your exposed thigh. 

“No, I wouldn’t mind at all.” 

If Caliban squinted, he could almost picture that he was a normal teenage boy, driving a beautiful, normal girl home from school. The sinking sun was peeking through the windows, bathing you in an ethereal glow, and - at least for right now- everything was perfect.

you were perfect.

now i'm speechless, over the edge

i'm just breathless

i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again

hopeless, head over heels in the moment

i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again

Caliban draped himself across your bed, a languid smirk on his lips as you kicked haphazardly placed piles of clothes into your closet.

“I promise I’m not usually this messy,” you apologized with a sheepish smile, shoving a mass of shoes under your bed, “okay, that's a lie. I’m always this messy, I just didn’t expect company.”

Caliban hardly minded. It was adorable how embarrassed you were, and he took the time to take in your bedroom (drawn from his reverie only by the occasional delighted shout when you found a shirt you’d thought had been sacrificed to the laundry gods, or worse, Sabrina’s room).

The first thing Caliban noticed was the books. While your clothes lay in scattered piles, all of your books were meticulously organized and lovingly tucked into shelves that took up an entire wall of the room. Sabrina may have answered that Caliban’s only hobby was torturing babies (or her, which was the same thing, really— and also, what the hell? Caliban may have enjoyed the occasional soul flaying, but only when it was well deserved!)— but Caliban loved to read.

What was one lifetime in one world, when he could learn of a thousand others in just as many universes? Immortality could grow dull, and eternity had to be spent somehow. Caliban tried not to smile as you precariously placed the book that had found its way onto your nightstand back into its place, and supposed that it might be far more enjoyable with someone else.

You seemed satisfied with your damage control, and slumped onto the bed dramatically with a groan. It was then that Caliban’s hand found a stray victim of your clothing massacre.

“Nice.” He grinned, and you peeked up from your playbook to find him dangling a pink lace bra.

Shit.

“Give me that!” You lunged, but Caliban was too fast. He quickly moved them from your reach, laughing wildly as you wrestled him desperately for the bra. 

“You are the worst.” A groan escaped you, and you huffed in fake-defeat as Caliban smirked victoriously at your retreat. You leaped at the chance, tackling Caliban with all your might. While momentarily surprised, he reacted quickly and shifted so that he was now pinning you to the bed, his hair dangling wildly in your face as you both laughed.

Caliban’s face was so close that you could see the flecks of green in his eyes. For a moment, his eyes seemed to flicker to your lips, but in the seconds it took for you to find your voice again, you’d lost your nerve. 

“We should get back to the scene.”

The moment was broken, and Caliban retreated with a bashful look on his face. He ran a hand through his hair and moved to sit across from you, his cheeks tinted a little red as he politely handed you back your intimates and pretended to shield his eyes when you tossed it somewhere. You’d never been so freaking embarrassed in your life, but Caliban was smiling so softly at you, like you were—

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.” He motioned around with his hands dramatically, tone playful and light.

You were so dead. Caliban was freaking made for this romantic swooning nonsense that you’d tried to protest nearly the whole ride home, Billy Marlin be damned.

Giggling nervously in what you hoped seemed scene-appropriate, you tried your best to forget being a horny teenager to instead play a horny teenager. “Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this, for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.”

Caliban’s voice lowered, a smile still tugging at his lips as he took your hands in his own. “Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?”

“Ay, pilgrim.” Your own voice softened in turn as Caliban began to trace mindless patterns on the backs of your hands with his thumbs, “lips that they must use in prayer.”

“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.” Caliban’s eyes were soft, and you imagined that Shakespeare had pictured the man in front of you when putting the words to paper. The words fell so naturally from his lips and he seemed engrossed in the scene— he was, for lack of a better word, enchanting.

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.” Your voice was hardly more than a breathless whisper, the proximity of your faces and the intimacy (however imagined) stealing the air from your lungs.

Caliban paused, his eyes meeting yours intently as if searching for something. Whatever it was, he seemed to find it as he took your face in both of his hands.

“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.” 

It was all too much. You could hardly be blamed for kissing him as fiercely as you did.

It was like fireworks, like every cheesy romance novel and play (cough, Romeo and Juliet) claimed it would be. You’d had plenty of kisses before, but never one that melted your brain like this. You forgot all about the scene, about how not real this was supposed to be as your hands tangled in his windswept hair and he pulled you onto his lap.

It was Caliban who first pulled away, only just so that your noses were touching. He was breathing heavily, eyes blown wide— and you felt your whole face turn red as reality consumed you again. “I am so sorry, I’ll just—”

“Where do you think you’re going, Juliet?” Caliban’s hands firmly gripped your hips, preventing you from moving away. His fingers thumbed the band of your skirt, and his next words were a whisper against your lips. 

“Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”

kissed her for the first time yesterday

everything i wished that it would be

suddenly i forgot how to speak

hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?

Caliban was in love. He’d spent the next three weeks with you reciting Romeo and Juliet, sharing shakes at Dr. Cerberus, and tugging you into empty classroom and closets at every opportunity to kiss you senseless.  Every moment not spent with you was at least somewhat occupied by the thought of you, and Caliban found he wasn’t the least bit upset about it.

And Sabrina was pissed.

If she’d hated him before, she positively loathed him now. It was the latest point of contention between yourself and your darling cousin, who’d you taken to threatening with various kitchen utensils and promises to tell the aunties she’d been sneaking out to make her behave. And Caliban, for his part, was perfectly polite— even though he still had every intention of taking the throne from the inexperienced witch who promised to destroy the balance of heaven and hell.

Which presented Caliban’s own latest dilemma. He was going to have to tell you eventually— and in a way that didn't make you totally hate him. He had a plan. Okay, maybe a skeletal plan. Or no plan. Yeah, Caliban was going to wing it. 

After today. He just had to make it through your reenactment of Romeo and Juliet with no demonic catastrophes or maiming Blly, and then he would tell you everything.

But even that was too much to ask.

Sabrina burst through the english classroom doors, yelling in barely concealed panic that there was a BIG problem and the principal needed Caliban now.

Caliban moved to leave with an apologetic smile in your direction, which you were absolutely not having. Despite your current frustration with Sabrina, she looked downright terrified, and you were both concerned for your cousin and overwhelmed with a gut feeling that something was up.

After a few moments, you excused yourself to use the restroom.

You hauled ass to the gym, where the screaming sounded to be coming from. When you entered, you were met with the strangest sight.

The gym was filled with winged... rats? And at the center of the chaos was Sabrina and Caliban, back to back and armed with what appeared to be lacrosse sticks. Caliban’s shirt was tattered from the rats, and you took a fraction of a second to banish the completely innappropriate and untimely thoughts from your head.

“And no one thought to call me?” You shouted angrily through the swarm, snagging a baseball bat from the rack and smacking it around with reckless abandon. Caliban hooted, laughing loudly as you took your place beside them. Rats tore at your clothes, but you were more frustrated that Sabrina had called your boyfriend (or whatever he was) over you.

“Why did you get Caliban! I was right there! Is there something wrong with you? Were you dropped on the head as a child? He’s not even from here Sabrina, he has no idea what-”

“For hell’s sake, he’s not the new kid! He’s not even from Australia! He’s a stupid clay prince from hell who is trying to take my throne and raze humanity, and his stupid plague king sent these after me, and now he’s dating you!” Sabrina spat out the word dating as if it was even more disgusting than the winged vermin tearing at your clothes. 

“Will someone please explain what the hell is going on here?” 

You were no less frustrated when Sabrina revealed her trek to hell and the all ensuing madness she’d partaken in, but you remained calm enough to not turn the bat on her clearly empty skull. 

“And you’re the clay prince of hell... challenging her throne?” You questioned with a sharp glance at Caliban, who nodded reluctantly as he swatted a rat hurtling towards you. 

“Do you even have a driver’s license!” You screamed, waving your baseball bat around wildly.

“I’m a demon prince of hell made out of clay, and you’re worried about if I can legally drive?” Caliban shouted back in astonishment through the wave of shrieking rats. The lacrosse stick he’d snagged was surprisingly effective.

“I was getting to that part, thank you for reminding me!” You hissed, debating whether to smash his face in with the bat. “How about we start with how you completely lied to me, and how our whole relationship or whatever it is a lie! Were you ever going to tell me? Or was this all part of some throne grab?” 

“It wasn’t a lie!” Caliban demanded hotly. “You were not a lie!”

“Really!” You whirled on him, eyes alight with anger. “Because I sure feel like one!”

The rats numbers were dwindling rapidly, and you smacked the last one heading towards you directly at Caliban’s face. It collided with a satisfying shriek, and you threw your bat down as you stormed out of the gym.

Sabrina and Caliban rushed after you, but you’d disappeared in the hall.

now i'm, yeah, oh!

now i'm speechless, over the edge

i'm just breathless

i never thought that i'd catch this love bug again

now i'm hopeless, head over heels in the moment

i never thought that i'd get hit by this love bug again, (oh)

love bug again

You’d remained collected until you’d transported into the middle of the living room, collapsing into auntie Hilda’s arms in a puddle of tears as you told her everything. She’d muttered a stream of ancient curses about Sabrina, but beyond that merely smoothed your hair and told you that all boys were awful— especially demonic princes of hell.

“I hate him.” You glared half-heartedly into your cup of steaming peppermint tea. You couldn’t believe you’d been so stupid. Falling blindly in love with a stranger who had only sought you out for some elaborate game with Sabrina. Screw Caliban and his perfect hair, his perfect smile, his perfect— “I want to bash his face in.”

“No you don't, love.” Hilda smiled knowingly. “You’re angry, yes— and hurt. But you care for the boy. I’ve never seen you so happy as you’ve been these last few days. I think you ought to cool down and hear what he has to say.”

“I never want to talk to him again.” You groaned, burying your face in a pillow. “I’d rather die.”

And because the universe was truly conspiring against you, a knock sounded at the door.

“Well, best get over that quick.” Hilda warned, ignoring your stream of indignant protests as she hustled to the door. 

“Caliban! Yes, do come in love. Oh, yes, we will be having a little chat later, but for now I think it’s my niece you must be speaking to.” Hilda’s cheerful voice trailed in from the foyer, and you jumped up to make a break for it. 

You were halted by a familiar pair of strong arms tugging you back by the waist.

“Get off of me!” You shouted, pushing Caliban away harshly and ignoring the warmth that lingered where he’d touched you. “I want my baseball bat. Somebody get me my baseball bat! I’m going to bash your stupid pretty face in you asshole—”

“Five minutes.” Caliban pleaded desperately, “just give me a five minutes to explain, and then I’ll give you back the baseball bat to bash my face in, okay?”

You considered his offer for a moment, swallowing the sob crawling its way up your throat as you nodded reluctantly. If it made him leave faster, you’d do anything. 

His shoulder sagged in barely concealed relief. “Okay. I am Caliban, Prince of Hell. I am not from Australia, clearly, and am not a transfer student. I am trying to take your cousin’s throne. She does not understand the realm of the damned— she thinks it needs to be generous, rather than a fair judgment of life. I am not her father, and I do not believe in reckless or cruel damnation. I do not wish any harm on Sabrina, and I’ve managed to keep the worst of the plague kings from her. Even if you were to reject me now, I would continue to try to protect her— you have my word.” Caliban paused as you released a breath you did not know you were holding. Your eyes finally dared to meet his, and you nodded for him to continue.

“I agreed to attend Greendale because yes, it did piss off Sabrina, but you were there.” He raised his hand to halt your protest. “You intrigued me, and I wanted to know you better. I will be fully honest that it had the added bonus of irritating your cousin, who I so delight in irritating, but my primary focus was you. You... enchanted me. I had never found myself so invested in anything before as I was in spending mundane days at high school— of all things— with you. Truthfully, it confused even me at first. And while the past you knew is false, I am real— and my feelings for you are true.”

“That is such bullshit, and you know it!” You exploded furiously, smacking his chest with untamed rage. “You knew exactly what you were doing. Who agrees to go to high school because they like a girl? Are you unhinged? Who doesn't just ask someone out if they were so interested, huh? No, you came here with your stupidly perfect little ‘oh I’m Caliban, and I’m so dreamy’ act, knowing full well that it would make me completely abandon all rationality. Well guess what, I did! I fell stupid head over heels for you, and it was all one big lie.”

Your voice broke on the last few words, anger shifting to broken sadness as you continued to pound relentlessly on his chest. “I was a lie.”

He caught your hands, holding them against his chest as he pressed you against the wall. “You weren't a lie, Spellman.” 

His words were breathless whisper, his beautiful eyes pained and desperate as he gripped your hands harder. “I fell for you the moment I saw you. I enrolled in high school because you smiled at me. I learned every line of Romeo and Juliet to recite them to you. When we first met, you wondered how Romeo and Juliet could possibly fall in love after a mere few days, but I understand it now. I have never been driven so completely insane by anything or anyone like this before. The power you have over me is unmatched. I am completely and wholly yours. If you were to ask me right now to leave, to never bother you again, I would leave my heart with you and spend my eternity in endless sorrow. I would think forever of the way you smiled at me, the way you kissed me, how soft your hair felt in my hands, and how my heart raced every time you laughed. I would never forgive myself for the pain I had caused you, and you would haunt me every day, every waking moment, every dream.”

Caliban moved your hands to his lips, nearly kissing them as he pleaded to you with tears in his beautiful eyes. You were motionless, turned to stone by his heavy gaze.

“So please, don’t become my specter. If I am a stranger to you now, let me make you fall for me all over again. I would do it a thousand times, if you'd let me. I could think of no sweeter way to spend my eternity.”

When you’d thought that Shakespeare had been imagining Caliban when he wrote, you’d been wrong. There was no poetry, no book, no lyric that could possibly compare to the way he spoke to you— the way his eyes so desperately tried to convey his anguish.

You removed your hands from his, and his whole face seemed to shatter.

“You’re not a stranger,” you muttered softly, moving to take his face your hands. His face remained guarded, but he leaned instinctively into your touch. “You’re Caliban.”

When you kissed him, it was like falling in love all over again.

And you supposed you did.

“But we are having a long, long talk about everything.” You warned as you pulled back, poking his chest sharply as he nodded profusely. “And if you ever, ever lie to me again, I’ll set something worse than flying rats on you. I’ll let Sabrina have you.”

Caliban laughed wildly, picking you up and spinning you around as he kissed you over and over again in sheer relief and joy. “I love you, Spellman. Anything you want, it’s yours.”

“I just want you, clay boy.”

[kkrazy256]

The best way I can describe how I think the fandom would treat Pharma, or at least some of the fandom, is all those posts you see about good characters who aren't good people being called "misunderstood". I also think that, down the line, there'd be those people who try to excuse every bad thing he does.

"I think Pharma's a great character, but he's such a bastard and I would throttle him in real life."

"I think that's a bit too extreme. He's done some bad things, but he doesn't deserve that. He's my misunderstood baby. 🥺"

"He literally makes it his life's work to make one of his brother's miserable and feels relaxed when he kills, oftentimes people who don't deserve death."

"You just don't get him like I do. He's just misunderstood and didn't actually do anything wrong."

Canon!Remedy getting treated by fandom worries me that he'd get treated a bit like Kix.

Like, I had the fandom interpretation of Kix in my head when I went back and re-watched his scenes and I was surprised that the interpretation of him being angry and done-with-everyone's-shit... didn't really exist in the show? The only time I remember him being visibly like that was in the Umbara Arc and that was after he'd been pretty stretched to the limit. He lost a lot of his complexity within a lot of the fandom and I think the same would happen to Remedy. The fandom's version of Kix seems to be "angry and done with shit just because I can be" (whereas in the Umbara Arc, he was angry because he was being prevented from doing his job as a medic and trying to save his brothers) and I think Remedy's reasons for getting so upset when his brothers don't take care of themselves would be forgotten until he's basically reduced to the same as Fandom!Kix.

Fuck, that was meant to be about Remedy, not a rant about Kix. Sorry, especially if I didn't get my original point across. 😅

Of course, there'll always be the sides of the fandom that remember the original portrayal of Remedy and Pharma and I would try to stick to those sides of the fandom because their original characterizations are awesome

(those two are the only ones I know enough to analyze for, sshhh).

If my OC was canon how would the fandom treat them?

WAUGH giving you a big kith, thank you for your super in-depth thoughts. Here are mine.

Oh yeah, I for sure think Pharma would get that dichotomy in opinions. Knowing fandom, there will be some people that hate him and claim that if you like him you are automatically an awful person. And on the flip side, people that like him will try to absolve him of all wrong because surely they wouldn't like someone awful unless they were a misunderstood uwu bab-/gags ahjfwawh. I made him to be my corny dramatic villain oc that is capable of very awful things! Sometimes, characters are genuinely awful people even with nuance, and still a good character for the narrative. You can like him without excusing all the shit he's done. You can hate him, but hopefully not blind to the why. Otherwise you're not understanding his motivations at all.

AND GOD REMEDY. AND KIX. YOUR BRAIN. Don't be sorry about ranting about Kix, I think about him so much. I believe Kix being characterized as angry comes a lot from the comics post-war. But that anger is riddled with grief because he has no one left. He is out of time and place, and doesn't know how to process that with strangers that wouldn't understand. All he has is to keep fighting and he doesn't even know for what anymore. Post-war Kix spins in my mind microwave so much, it's so tragic. In tcw, he is frustrated because he feels that he can't do enough for his brothers. In a war where he's constantly subjected to dying vode. Where as a medic, he has the responsibility to do something about it. His breakdown in Umbara was something that has been accumulating for months, maybe years. He wasn't just angry, he was actively being confronted with the fact that he can't save everyone.

And you're right, a lot of the motivations behind his anger is lost because a lot of people treat medic characters as one giant entity. The general blanket of "pissed off, grouchy, will sedate you if you don't listen" characterization where you lose all the little other details of their personalities.

Yeah I think the same thing could happen to Remedy if he were canon. It's not like a show format where he's a background character would give the audience a lot of chance to see him beyond his cranky exterior so it would be easy to put him in that general medic personality blanket. But I hope I do take enough time and care to explore his reasons for being so isolated and distant in my lore and writing.

[cactus-joke]

the thing i will never wrap my head around is introducing sylvie as a frankenloki & then giving her absolutely no depth despite her being the key protagonist of season 1... like mike must hate women for the fact that

1) all the tva women of color are sidelined immediately (at least the two w the most prominent & interesting roles/backgrounds) for a white ladies development

2) you can count all the tva lady agents we see onscreen w one hand

3) frankenloki aka sylvie has a bunch of gaps for a character like where’d she get blonde hair dye. if ure hellbent on revenge why are u making stops at wallmart 2 get a box of hair bleach. where’d she get asgardian leather but SPECIFICALLY for her top (she’s wearing baggy pants & combat boots w that ensemble??? which as i say it also sounds like those corny wattpad “put my hair in a messy bun, wore my combat boots” fanfic outfits 😭), why and how did she get the AoA loki horns, she didn’t have them when she was taken. if she hates the loki association why’s she wearing the horns & the color green which is... the biggest target to be perceived as loki

4) if she’s an important part of the self love metaphor romance why does she always make this face “😐🤨🤢😐🤨😐” when loki talks (berating him & betraying him in the end aside ofc!)

5) why do we not know her nexus event? why do we not know why she chose the name sylvie? why does she have no prominent character traits outside of having a vagina? why is she cis? why did she get taken at the tender age of an elementary schooler but not when she was born if her crime was being born a girl?

6) has mike waldron ever met, spoken to, or seen a woman? has he engaged in critical, intelligent conversation with anyone, really?

7) can i be emotionally compensated by disney for simultaneously the most BORING (how do you make.. the god of mischief & tricks... boring is beyond me) and convoluted overstuffed show for wasting my time?

I don't know that Mike hates women, but I do think, based on his interviews and the resulting product he made, that:

1) It was certainly a choice to make the two prominent black female characters slaves to a fascist organization and one essentially a leader of it. A choice I don't think anyone involved in creating this show spent a second to think about.

I don't think they were necessarily sidelined on purpose, however. I just think it's an inevitable by-product of the show's terrible pacing and even worse writing. That scene one between B-15 and Renslayer, a scene I think was ultimately a waste of time, made me think that they probably did want to highlight at least those two characters on their own merit. They failed, of course, in the end, and with the set-up I think the intention or lack of intention doesn't really matter since we get what we get, you know?

It's not really a shinning example of giving your characters of color time and care, either, but I do have to highlight B-15's moment of doubt, a scene I think Wunmi Mosaku absolutely killed (seriously, everyone needs to check out her other work, she is effort and talent personified.).

Besides that, if you ask me, no character in this show has any real development anyway, including Sylvie. It is an uneven display of screen-time because obviously she's a main over everyone else but, like, can it even be said that Sylvie particularly benefited from it? I don't really think so. As you said, she has no depth, she is just an empty girlboss fantasy, and the diversity in general in this show feels empty to me.

2) I didn't really even want more TVA foot soldiers to be women. It wouldn't be a diversity win so much as just more empty pandering and Marvel's typical (military) propaganda fuel.

Anyway, I'd like to highlight some youtube creators of color who make great in-depth videos on this issue:

Khadija Mbowe: Color-blind vs. Identity-conscious casting and examining Hamilton and Malcom & Marie

Town of Tawiah: Performative Diversity and Colorism in Film | Dear White People Review, My Wife & Kids,HTGAWM & More

Cheyenne Lin: GOOD Representation Matters | Colorism and Casting

There's obviously way more, but these videos are a good starting point to expand on this topic from people who know what they're talking about. I put a link to their videos while the link on their names will lead you to their respective channels.

3) Sylvie's whole appearance is bullshit from the get-go. They deliberately used comic book references on her to confuse us and make their dumbshit twist of: oh, see, she actually is a Loki variant!

I remember seeing a post essentially saying whoever thinks Sylvie is a Loki variant with 100% certainty is media illiterate lmao, so I guess it worked on some people.

So, you know, IMO, it doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense for her to wear Loki's signature colors and the iconic AoA head-wear, she just does because fuck you.

Also, "if ure hellbent on revenge why are u making stops at wallmart 2 get a box of hair bleach." lmaooo - she just wanted to be her own person, you know, visually, but only with her hair and nothing else :)

4) Sylvie so very clearly doesn't even like Loki all that much, certainly not as much as he likes her (she is a girlboss after all, "she's got shit to do!"). It would be funny if it wasn't tragic. I do feel bad for Larry from accounting :(

5) I'm guessing we don't know her nexus event because they kinda never bothered to define what it was and they don't care. Maybe Renslayer saying she doesn't remember her nexus event was supposed to be this moment of like cold truth, or an attempt to hurt Sylvie because she knows but won't tell her, or, you know... actually, who cares.

6) I think Mike has spoken to women and I think he's had plenty of intelligent and critical conversations at his level. Which is a relative zero to a generous one. Perhaps two on a good day.

Idk though, jokes aside, his writing on this series is childish and lazy, his view of Loki is boring and reductive, his original script he used for this show is absolute shit, and that's all I can really say for sure.

7) I wish. The show really is boring when it isn't actively infuriating. It still boggles my mind how this mess even happened. Like, I knew the show would be bad, but this bad? Man oh man.

[fruitcoops]

Could you maybe write a “73 questions with Sirius Black” Vogue one? Or something like that.

Yes! I had never seen these videos before and it was a fun challenge to write. Hope you enjoy! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

The house is large, two stories tall and painted a soft gray with white trim around the windows. Holiday lights have yet to be taken down and shine in all colors of the rainbow from the eaves as the camera crew walks up the front steps. The curtains in the window tremble for a moment, then a dog pokes her head through—she is all-black and curious, and looks quite large.

Dorcas Meadowes knocks on the front door; a moment later, it swings open and reveals Sirius Black. “Hey, guys, come on in! You can leave your shoes by the door inside.”

“Thanks, Sirius.” Dorcas kicks off her flats and follows him inside as he sets a dish towel on the end table and leans against it. “How are you today?”

“I’m doing pretty well. Morning practice was productive and I’m feeling good about our upcoming game.”

“We’re here today to ask you 73 rapid-fire questions while you lead us around. Sound good?”

“Sounds good. You can all come inside instead of freezing on the porch,” he laughs, waving them closer. The door shuts with a gentle click.

“First question: on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?”

“Hmmm. A solid seven.”

“Do you have any pets?”

“I do!” Sirius leads them into the other room, where the dog is curled up on the couch below the window; he picks her up and gives her a kiss on the head. “This is Hattie and I love her very much.”

“Cute! If you could do a dramatic love scene in a movie with anyone, who would it be?”

Sirius sets the dog down and thinks for a second. “Aside from my fiancé, I’m going to say James Potter. We would kill it and I don’t think it would be that awkward.”

“What’s the origin of your name?”

“Pretty much my whole family has star-themed names. Sirius is the dog star from Canis Major.”

“Brightest star in the sky, too. What’s one thing people don’t know about you?”

“I’m an introvert. Lots of people assume that I’m super social because of my job, but I’m very quiet in real life.” He walks back out to the entrance and takes the towel off the table, then moves into the kitchen. It’s well-lit and painted a deep, warm red. The countertop is scattered with knickknacks and picture frames—clearly, this is a place people spend a lot of time. Hattie, who followed them in, lays down by the oven with a heavy sigh.

“What’s your wakeup ritual?”

Sirius reaches up and pulls two mugs out of the cupboard. “I wake up around seven am and make coffee while Re is in the shower, then rinse off and get dressed while he makes breakfast. It’s a good system. Want some tea?”

“Sure. What’s your bedtime ritual?”

“I don’t think I have one,” he says as he puts the kettle on and ignites a burner on the stove. “Usually we read or watch a movie, then go up to bed and talk for a while. There’s not a big routine or anything.”

“Sounds nice. What’s your favorite time of day?” Dorcas sits on the other side of the kitchen island while he takes a box of peppermint tea down.

“That’s a tough one. I like the in-between spots, like just after sunrise or dusk. Three in the afternoon is usually pretty chill as well. Does anyone else want a cup?”

There are a few murmurs behind the camera and he takes two more down. “What is one thing no one knows about you?” Dorcas asks.

He raises an eyebrow. “If I told you, everyone would know, and it wouldn’t count.”

“Fair enough. Dream country to visit?”

“Anywhere. I think I want to go to Ireland first, though.” Small wisps of steam begin curling out of the kettle, but it doesn’t whistle.

“Do you ever feel pressure to post things on social media?”

Sirius makes a face. “I used to. Eventually I just got tired of it, you know? The whole point of social media is sharing bits of your life with people and it makes me happy to show off my dog, or Re, or my friends. I post things just for fun now.”

The kettle begins to hiss and he reaches back to turn it off. “Sneakers or skates?”

“Skates.”

“Vintage or new?

“Vintage, especially for t-shirts and sweaters.”

“Who is your biggest role model?”

“Pascal Dumais.” Sirius stops pouring for a moment to look up at the camera. “If you ever get a chance to meet him, listen to what he has to say. You’ll be better for it.”

“Wise words. How do you deal with negativity? Oh, thank you.” Dorcas wraps her hands around the mug and takes a small sip while Sirius passes the other ones to the crew.

“Honestly? I don’t give a shit. It used to really bother me, but I’m happy, I have a job I love, and my family cares about me. Why should I care what people I’ve never met think of me?” He sits on the counter and rests his elbows on his knees, blowing on the hot water.

“What are three things you can’t live without?”

“My dog, Remus, and my family.” There is no hesitation in his voice.

“Not hockey?”

“I’d be devastated if I couldn’t play, sure, but it’s not the central focus of my life anymore.”

“What’s one ingredient you put in everything?”

“Does salt count?” He winces as he takes a drink. “Ugh, burned my tongue. I put salt on a lot of things because I drink so much water that it throws my balance off.”

“What is something you’re completely bored of right now?”

Sirius rolls his eyes. “Gossip columns and tabloids in general.”

Dorcas hums in agreement. “What’s your biggest fear in life?”

“Losing my loved ones.”

“Window or aisle seat?”

“Window. Anyone walking by always steps on my foot or hits my elbow if I’m in the aisle. Plus, I get a good view and an easy nap spot.”

“What’s your current TV obsession?”

“Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I’m watching for the third time already.” He shakes his head. “It’s just so good.”

“Favorite app?”

He takes a second to think. “Spotify.”

“Secret talent?”

Sirius looks at her over the rim over his cup. “This is going to shock you. Ready?”

“Ready.”

“Hockey.”

“You’re the worst.” Despite her words, Dorcas smiles. “What the most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?”

“Uh, probably going to Europe with some of the guys last year. We had a lot of fun, but it was crazy.”

“I can imagine it was. How would you define yourself in three words?”

“Tall, dark, and handsome.”

“And apparently not humble,” Dorcas teases. “Favorite piece of clothing?”

“Hoodies.”

“Clothing item everyone should have?”

“Hoodies.”

A door opens behind them and the camera turns; Remus walks out of the basement, covered in sweat as he wipes his forehead with the hem of his shirt and holds his skates in his other hand. “Baby, have you seen…” he trails off when he sees the group of people in the kitchen. Hattie’s tail thumps on the floor. “Um. Hello.”

“Hey, Remus, how are you doing?” Dorcas asks mildly.

The camera pans out to catch both Sirius, who is laughing quietly, and Remus, who flushes pink. “I’m good. I thought you were coming at ten?”

“It’s ten-thirty, sweetheart,” Sirius says, hiding his smile in his tea.

Remus glances at the clock before giving an awkward nod and walking toward the stairs. “I guess I’ll take a shower, then. Sorry about that. Uh, carry on.”

“What’s a superpower you would want?” Dorcas asks as soon as he disappears.

Sirius shakes his head with a grin. “Uh, teleportation. That would be really cool.”

“What’s inspiring you in life right now?”

“Ah, une grande question.” He thinks, then tilts his head toward the staircase. “Moments like that. And the Stanley Cup, of course.” He reaches back and knocks on the wooden cupboard.

“What cause is closest to your heart?”

“LGBT+ rights, especially trans rights. I’m privileged enough to have a platform and I intend to be loud as hell about that.”

“Good.” Dorcas sets her almost-empty mug on the table. “What’s one thing you’d say to your teenage self?”

Sirius lets out a long breath and drums his hands on the light blue ceramic of his cup. “I would say…it gets better. It really, really does. You’re going to feel super shitty for just a little bit longer, but then I promise you will be so incredibly happy that you wake up every morning and it hits you all over again.”

Dorcas nods, and the kitchen is quiet for a moment. “What’s a book that everyone should read?”

“The Hobbit, by J.R.R Tolkien.”

“What would you like to be remembered for?”

“This is going to sound so corny, but I want to be remembered for just being a good person.”

“That’s not corny. How do you define beauty?”

“Remus Lupin.”

“That’s corny,” she laughs, making him smile. “What do you love most about your body?”

“I’m a big guy, which can be a little bit intimidating, but it means I give really great hugs. I’m sure everyone saw the video that went around a while ago.”

“Cap Cuddles?”

He snorts. “Right. You’ve got Finn O’Hara to thank for that.”

“In your opinion, what’s the best way to take a rest or decompress?”

“Being alone,” Sirius says. “There is literally nothing better than getting home and sitting down with a book or something while I can hear Re doing his own thing and Hattie’s napping. It’s one of my favorite parts of the afternoon.”

“That’s the most introverted thing you’ve ever said.” Dorcas grins and finishes her tea just as a faint beeping noise begins in another room. “What’s your favorite way to experience art?”

“Through music, for sure.” He slides off the counter and walks down the hall, leading them toward the laundry room. He gives the camera crew a look as he pulls dry clothes out of the machine and heads back to the living room. “What? Did you think I didn’t do my own laundry?”

“You lost a sock,” Dorcas informs him, picking it off the ground and laying it on top of his head.

“Thanks, D.”

“What question do people ask that you wish they wouldn’t?”

“Lots of people have asked me when I decided to be gay, which is wrong on so many levels.”

“If you could master one instrument, what would it be?”

“Guitar or piano.” He dumps the load of laundry on the couch and opens the back door, holding it for the crew as they walk out into the sunshine. Hattie weaves through their legs and disappears into the bushes along the back.

“I might have to take your dog home with me. If you had a tattoo, where would it be?”

Sirius mock-glares at her. “Let me have my girl! Um, I would love to have a tattoo somewhere on my arm.”

“This might be a hard one. Dolphins or koalas?”

“Oh, that is hard. Probably dolphins. The ocean is terrifying but those little guys are just having a blast.”

“What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?” Dorcas asks as he picks up a tennis ball and throws it across the yard. Hattie emerges from the bushes and races after it in a blur of black fur.

“An engagement ring.”

“Yeah, it was.” Remus walks into the backyard and kisses Sirius’ cheek before bending down to catch Hattie in his arms. His hair is still damp from the shower. “Hello, sweet girl!”

“Who’s your favorite musician?”

“Queen.” Sirius laughs at her surprised look. “I’m gay, what did you expect?”

“True. What’s your favorite board game?”

“Monopoly.” Remus and Hattie disappear from the frame, but the bouncing sound of the tennis ball creates some background noise and Sirius watches them for a moment with pure affection.

“Favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“Least favorite color?”

“Orange.”

“Bowties or knot ties?”

He frowns. “Don’t they all have knots?”

“Smartass.”

“Yep! Uh, regular ties.”

“Bowties are superior!” Remus calls.

“Get your own questions!” Sirius laughs.

“Going off your music answers: records or CDs?”

“I don’t own a lot of records, so I’m going to have to go with CDs. I love the way vinyl sounds, though.” His eyes widen as he looks to the side. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Remus wheezes. “I didn’t need those ribs anyway.”

“For the viewers, the dog just football-tackled him into the grass,” Sirius says, and Dorcas snorts.

“Your hair is famously luscious. Blow-dry or air-dry?”

“Air dry.”

“Coffee or tea?”

“Coffee, but tea is nice in the evenings.”

“What’s the weirdest word in the English language?”

Sirius laughs. “There are so many. Uh, ‘jeez’ is the one that comes to mind first.”

“What about the French language?”

“Oiseaux,” he says in a crisp accent. “It means ‘birds’, and you pronounce about three of the actual letters.”

“Good to know. Do you prefer dark chocolate or milk chocolate?”

“Dark chocolate.”

“Stairs or elevators?”

“Elevators. I don’t want to walk up three floors after playing hockey for two and a half hours.”

“Summer or winter?”

Sirius bites his lip in thought as they walk around the yard, where small flowers line the fence in beds and colorful pots. “I love summer because I have actual free time to be with my friends, but winter is hockey season. I don’t know, next question.”

“What’s a dessert you don’t like?”

“I’m not a huge fan of caramel. It’s too sticky.”

“A skill you’re working on mastering?”

“Will you ban me from more interviews if I say hockey?”

“Yes.”

“In that case, I’m working on keeping plants alive, as you can probably see.” He taps the nearest flowerpot gently with his foot; it has ‘Harry’ painted across it in sloppy blue letters. “My godson made that for my birthday.”

“What’s the best thing to happen to you today?”

“This, for sure,” he says with a smile. “I haven’t seen you and Marley in ages.”

“We missed you, too. What’s the worst thing that happened to you today?”

He pouts slightly. “Burning my tongue on tea.”

“Hugs or kisses?”

“Hugs! Though I’ll accept kisses from a few very specific people.”

“Do you have a favorite smell?”

He pauses and cranes his neck to look behind the cameras. “Re?”

“Yeah?”

“What shampoo do you use?”

“Uhhh…” There’s a moment of quiet. “It’s something with lavender, I think.”

Sirius turns back to Dorcas. “Something with lavender.”

“How specific,” she laughs. “What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?”

He smiles to himself. “There was a young woman, maybe sixteen or seventeen, that came to one of the games earlier this season. I saw her standing with a puck and went over, and while I was signing it she looks at me and says, ‘you are exactly what I wish my older brother was like’. Turns out, she was bisexual and her brother wasn’t super accepting of her. That was…” He shakes his head. “That meant the world to me. I’ll never forget it.”

“You’ve definitely made a big impact on the community,” Dorcas agrees. “What’s the last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?”

“I watched ‘Soul’ the other night and almost had to pause it at one point to pull myself together.”

“Do you prefer animated movies or live-action?”

“Animated, mostly because I wasn’t allowed to watch Disney movies as a kid, so I’ve been catching up as an adult and they rock.”

“What’s your nerdiest quality?

“I love watching documentaries.”

“Sweet or savory?” The back door creaks a bit as they walk back inside and the camera catches a few frames of Hattie and Remus running around the yard together.

“Sweet.”

“In ten years, you have a daughter. What age do you let her date?”

Sirius gives Dorcas a look. “Whenever she wants to. I’m going to impose curfews and stuff, but I’m the last person on the planet to police her love life.”

“Good answer. What’s a song you can listen to on repeat?”

“Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen. Absolute banger.”

“If you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be?”

“Arthur Weasley,” he says after a moment. “I would love to know what it feels like to get up in the morning and know you’re about to spend another day wrangling our team. It’s a miracle he hasn’t killed us all with his clipboard.”

“How do you know you’re in love?”

“Oh.” Sirius blinks at her in surprise at the sudden topic change. “Well, for me, I think it’s just…being comfortable around someone. Being able to spend time with them without saying anything and knowing you’re safe, no matter what. It’s the best feeling in the world.”

“What are you most excited about at this time in your life?”

A slight smile crinkles his eyes. “Getting married. That’s going to be awesome.”

“Who is your go-to for having a good laugh?”

“James Potter. He’s the best, and I love him.”

“Last question,” Dorcas says, sliding her list into her pocket. “Many LGBT+ people, especially teenagers, have spoken about how you’re an inspiration. Any words for them?”

Sirius hums in thought. “First of all, thank you for being so open and welcoming. I would never have expected the sheer force of people’s love to come through like that when so many people were saying horrible things. Second, to any kids out there who need to hear it: I’m proud of you. It takes a lot to be true to yourself and even if you’re still in the closet, you’re just as valid as the rest of us. Stay proud.”

“That’s a wrap.” Dorcas gives him a quick hug that he happily returns. “Thanks for letting us crash your morning, Cap.”

“Any time. Thanks for tuning in to Lion Pride, everyone!”