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glux2 · 10 months

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Musing: Emotional connection

Recently a very close person to me suggested i binge watch "Angel Hare", before that day my only exposure to that project was a fan game that had a very funny punchline in lampooning the "cursed videogame" genre.

So i watched the whole thing and it was great.

This scene right here made me feel more feelings than most of the media i have watched/played/read in like the last 5 years or so.

So it made my mind wonder, like, "hold on, when was the last time i felt this strongly about a piece of entertainment?"

Sure, if you know me, i felt strongly about the ongoing plotline for Noelle on Deltarune, so one would think "2021 when chapter two came out", right? but no, i got very invested but it wasn't it.

The last time i felt so strongly about a piece of media was actually Deltarune's predecesor, Undertale in 2015.

I finished Undertale in tears, i got in a very bad funk when i found out about the genocide ending, it truly made me feel emotions.

So i began to ponder, just what really moves me?

Full disclosure: I don't cry at movies. This is not a "look at me i am a badass who is not beheld by feelings" statement, no, i kinda just dont connect emotionally with movies as easily as other people.

I have talked about this, many times actually, Toy Story 3 did not make me cry, it always bothers me how people at the time were like "if TS3 didn't make you cry, you have no soul" and shit like that, so let me repeat something i have said many times before:

Toy Story 3 was a movie i went to see the day doctors had informed me my mother had entered terminal phase of cancer.

My friends took me to see TS3 when i felt the greatest sadness i have ever felt in my entire life. And im glad TS3 was a pretty funny movie that managed to distract me from what i was going through. TS3 uplifted me when i had a very real reason to cry.

So what im getting at is, i rarely connect emotionally with what conventionally makes people emotionally connected, not that i havent felt strong emotions from movies, but as we'll get to later, it's just not the stuff you would expect, when we get back to movies you'll be thinking, "what the fuck, Toy story 3 did not make you emotional but THIS THING DID?!"

So, if traditional "emotional things" rarely have moved me i began to think to myself, "what are things that have made me feel this strongly?"

I realized it's the damn weirdest things.

I'll try to list things that i can remember making me feel this emotional.

Now i'll be upfront, im not a very cultured person, so you'll notice most of this is...not very high brow.

Also, obviously spoilers for all this stuff im about to talk about.

Before we begin: Honorable mention goes to me finding out i had repressed memories of being traumatized as a kid by being show an animated adaptation of "Pilgrim's progress" by an aunt, which disturbed me greatly towards the end as the main character dies and before it the souls of two people he met are condemned to eternal damnation from making MISTAKES, not sins, not evil, but THE FUCKING MISTAKE of exploring alternate routes before them.

-Yoshi's Island, 1994 When i was a wee one Yoshi was one of my fave videogame characters, so of course i was beyond hype when a game where you play as yoshi came out, the ending is one of the greatest moments in videogame history, the beautiful music, the journey of the stork, and finally the classic Mario fan fare playing as baby mario and baby luigi being held by their parents with the words "Heroes are born", it's such a powerful moment. To this day i still cannot listen to that credits music without tearing up.

Sequel? Retcon?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, SHUT UP, THIS IS THE PERFECT ENDING AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AFTER IT!

-The bicentennial man, 1999 The bicentennial man is one of the biggest examples of a movie being fucking mischaracterized in the marketing, this movie is based on Isaac Asimov's short story and later novel, it stars Robin Williams, so all marketing was presenting the movie as Robin Williams comedy movie, IT. IS. NOT. The bicentennial man is a scifi drama about the existential search for meaning and the nature of what truly is to be alive. You get invested on the quest of this robot trying to find humanity for 200 years, and the punchline to this movie is, in his quest for humanity he forgoes the immortality being a machine provides him as he had developed the way to turn himself biological, still artificial but biological, and he dies peacefully on his sleep before he can be told that humanity had declared him, legally, a human being. To me it was such a powerful moment, he found true meaning to his life, became human, yet died before knowing so.

-Courage the cowardly dog, "The Mask", 2002 This is a legendary episode of an already great show that has a lot of very good emotional moments, some may cite episodes like "the giving tree" or "the last star maker", but for me it's this one. For those who have never experienced this episode, it revolves around a cat girl named Kitty who one day shows up at Courage's farm and she's wearing an upsetting mask, she abuses courage because she believes all dogs are bad. The mask serves 2 purposes, one is metaphorical, "her inability to face reality", the second is to hide her identity as she believes she is in danger. The thing is, she is on the run because her lover best friend Bunny is trapped in an abusive relationship with a gangster dog who threatened to kill her if she was seen near Bunny ever again, the episode coats the whole situation with a ton of goofiness, but it's actually very fucking dark: A young lesbian is trapped against her will on an abusive relationship with a toxic, violent man who threatened to kill her girlfriend if she refused to date him. Courage, being a good little dog ventures to save Bunny and have her reunite with Kitty because, despite how bad Kitty was to him, he recognizes that Kitty is a victim and she and Bunny deserve better, leading to Courage letting them escape away together, to live happy and free. I don't think it's just me, but the final image of Kitty and Bunny hugging as the train takes them to freedom felt so powerful to me.

-Twisted Metal Head-on, 2002 This is one of the weirdest things i have ever gotten emotionally invested, but honestly? i love when some shitposting franchise suddenly manages to pull this off, specially given the set up for this whole thing im going to describe starts in an early game as a fucking joke. So to contextualize this, the first two Twisted metal games were helmed by the og creators of the franchise, TM 3, 4 and small brawl were made by different developers when the creators lost the rights, but during the PS2 era when the og developers came back and created TM: Black, and TM: Head-on, Black was a reboot, Head-on was a retcon sequel to TM 2 that eliminated TM3 from the timeline, but not TM 4. Still with me? Okay so TM2 had this character, Krista Sparks, who was the revealed to be the daughter of the main antagonist of the game, Calypso, but hold on? wasn't Calypso's backstory that his family died in a tragic accident which lead him to become evil? So turns out, the FBI retrieved his daughter's corpse, turned it into a robot with a bomb with the intend to make her get close to Calypso and blow him up. The ending ends comically with a message reading "The FBI wishes to thank you for putting an end to Twisted metal". Stil Still with me?!?!?! ok! so Head on! In this game Krista is back, as a ghost, her ending consists on her confronting her dad, who has now brought up so much pain, misery and death to the world, Calypso tries to explain that the nature of his powers mean he has to do this otherwise he cannot use his powers, and his plan was for Krista to win so he could bring her back and her mom to life, but Krista is so horrified with what has happened that she refuses and blurts "I wish the accident that killed me and mom never happened" the intention being impeding Calypso from becoming this evil super natural villian, but as per all endings, it's always a monkey paw affair and Calypso knows it, looking saddened he grants the wish because he has no option, his powers force him to. Briefly Krista has a vision of her childhood with her dad before he became evil as they share a sweet moment playing on a swing set. HARD CUT TO A HOSPITAL, Krista is on a bed in coma, Calypso is there and whispers to her something along the lines of "Sleep tight my dear, may you finally find peace", as Calypso is leaving the hospital you can hear 2 doctors talking, mentioning that Krista had been in coma for more than a decade and apparently Calypso just had found out. Excuse me Twisted Metal, but WHAT THE FUCK? You are a dumb fucking edgy car combat game, how dare you make me feel these things?

-Mother 3, 2006 (translation on 2008) Mother 3 hopefully needs no introduction, or maybe it does, because many people have reduced it to a joke due to how nintendo stubbornly refuses to give us an official release, but also many of you must know this franchise is the spark that ignited the flame of the absolute Juggernaut Undertale would become, as well as many other games influenced by it. The Mother/Earthbound games were known for being quirky and deviating from the standard conventions of the game, notably for the modern day setting and unorthodox choices of how you deal with the villians, they were always billed as emotional, but i feel they did not live up to that...until 3. The general narrative to Mother 3 is about how greed is destroying the world, the main villian corrupting what we see of the world (a paradise little town where everybody is nice) by introducing luxury, money and status....and also stomping everything with his fascist army and cyborg mutants. Mother 3 is a game about how the worst traits of humanity are destroying the world and upsetting nature. Mother 3 is also the story of 2 twin brothers who suffer tragedy after tragedy after tragedy that ultimately pits them one against the other with the fate of the world at stake. Mother 3 punches you almost immediately by killing the mother character (which i might mention you're encouraged to name after your own mother) at the end of the first chapter and how this affects her surviving family. one of the Twins, Claus, is so disturbed that he decides to on on his own to try to kill the monster that took his mom, while the other, Lucas, was too afraid and weak to stop his brother, resulting on Claus dying as well...but the badguys take his corpse and reanimate it into a cold, emotionless cyborg who follow's the big bad's order and is using him to try to cause the end of the world. In the climax of the story Lucas is force to confront Claus, clause is a brain washed cyborg, his master is out of the picture and all he can do is fight, you can't reason with him...and then.... Lucas and Claus begin to hear a voice, a familiar voice, it's their mother, reaching for them from beyond the grave, pleading for them to stop fighting, suddenly Lucas and Claus both have a flash back to when they were babies, overhearing their parents talk about the hopes they have for them, the many things they will be able to achieve together, this makes Clause snap out of his brain washing, removing the helmet that had been hiding his face since he was resurrected, Lucas and him have a moment as they are finally reunited, Claus realizes all the bad things he has done while under control of the bad guy and realizes he must atone for his crimes, he prepares a lightning attack he knows cannot hurt Lucas and cause HIM to die. "Im sorry for all the problems i caused" he says as he is dying on his dad's arm, "I must go to where mom is now", as he passes away he can hear his mother calling for him, "You just be so tired" she says. Now i know it will sound insane for people to hear a videogame of all things can make one so emotional, but damn, just recollecting these scenes for this dumb post has made me start to cry, the emotional punch of this scene is very strong, it demolished me when i played the game back in the day, but now? After my own mother passed away? I have been scared of playing this game again. I mot sure if im emotionally prepare to go though that again, even 10+ years later. That's how powerful this scene was to me.

-Elite Beat Agents, 2007 If you have played this game, you know were im going, for those who dont, EBA is a silly rhythm game about secret agent cheer leaders that are dispatched around the world to help people in need by raising their spirit and allow them to overcome adversity, the game is insanely wacky and have scenarios like helping a ninja car salesman prevent a company from stealing his company's secrets, helping a washed up baseball star fight a lava spitting golem rampaging on an amusement park and traveling back in time to help davinci paint the mona lisa. EBA is also the second game in the Ouendan series, and there is something you need to know about this series: They all include tearjerker levels to contrast with all the goofiness. "A christmas Wish" is a christmas themed level set to Chicago's "You are the inspiration" and the story to this level is positively DEVASTATING: A few months before christmas a business man tells his daughter and wife he has to go on a business trip but he promises he'll be back just in time for christmas, the girl asks him to bring back a "girlfriend" for her teddy bear. The father dies on a plane crash. When the mother breaks the news to the little girl she gets angry, crying to the skies that her dad promised he would be back for christmas. The backdrop of the stage is set the girl and the mom doing things to remember the dad, like looking through a photo album and baking a cake for his birthday, it's very sweet, but...this is EBA, if you're doing poorly you see the "bad" versions of these scenes, and in this one, one is very devastating, the little girl is having a dream where she's chasing the spirit of her dad, if you're doing well she calls for him and for a brief moment the dad stops and starts turning towards her, if you're doing bad the spirit fades away and the girl wakes up in tears. Dear goodness. But of course, if you beat the level you get this sequence of the ghost of the dad showing up on chrismas morning to fullfil his promise, giving the little girl the teddy bear he promised and having the chance to say good bye to his family.

This punches you really fucking hard in the gut. I am incapable of doing this level without ending in tears. For a time i could not even listen to this song without tearing up until, i shit you now, the deadpool movie used it on a comedy scene.

-Punch out!!, 2009 This one is one i know got me because of personal nostalgia, when i was a wee one the og NES punch out was a big part of my childhood, Punch Out!! on the wii was a masterfully crafted tribute to the franchise. To not dwell too much time on this, this game has an interesting quirk, the ending is a downer ending and it's the only ending you can get. After you beat the last opponent there is a sequence where Mac and Doc seemingly are having a disagreement, where Mac seemingly has decided that if he loses 3 times, he'll retire from boxing completely. After this you face randomly opponents from the game, the first time you lose in this mode you lose your champion title, after three loses, it's game over and the story mode becomes locked for that save file. The final cutscene is Doc walking through what seems to be a gallery with boxing memorabilia, and untold number of years later, he is alone, he spots his old bike on this gallery and rings the bell, he looks up and speak to an absent Mac, "Good job son, good job", as he leaves the camera pans to reveal he was looking at a framed photo of him and Mac on one of their training sessions. The music on this sequence is so perfect, and it was aimed at people like me, people who grew up with the franchise, the idea was making it feel like Doc was reminiscing of YOUR time with punch out when you were a kid, and to make you think about how far YOU have come since the first time you played the games in an arcade, or your nes, or snes. It's actually pretty effective and it got me.

-Regular Show, "Trucker Hall of Fame", 2012 What makes this one different from others instances of me making me emotional, it's, much like the "Angel Hare" example at the top, this one is all about WARM HAPPY FEELINGS, so for those who did not watch this episode, let me summarize it for you: One day Muscleman gets word that his dad, who was his personal hero, has passed away, and he's tasked with carrying his final wish, spread his [hat's] ashes in a place called "Trucker hall of fame", you see, Muscleman was lead to believe his dad was a legendary trucker and that earned him his admiration, but during the episode Muscleman finds out he was lied to, his dad was a forklift driver that the truckers belittled, altho feeling cheated for having been lied to he carries on with his father's wishes. Now because this is regular show, when they arrive at the trucker's hall of fame they are immediately attacked by ghost trucker for "desecrating the hall of fame" as they spread the ashes something happens: The ghost of Muscleman's dad manifests himself and saves his son, taking the chance to apologize to his son and having the chance to say his final good bye personally. Despite the inherent silliness of the show's premise, i think this episode really did a good job on expressing that sense of catharsis of making peace with the passing of a love one.

-The Final Girls, 2015 A friend suggested we watched this movie, and much like Twisted metal up there, i absolutely did not expect for this incredibly stupid comedy horror movie to hit me with any sort of emotional connection, and yet... The Final Girls opens with the main character in a car with her mom, who is an struggling C-tier actress whose biggest achievement ever was appearing on a Friday the 13th knock off movie, during this sequence they get in an accident where the mom dies and even after it's been some time since the accident the main character has not properly moved on from the passing of her mom. Her friends and some people at the college she attends are preparing this horror movie festival where the main event is they are going to play the movies from the franchise her mom was on, and they suggest she should come. Then some bullshit happens and they all end up somehow trapped in the world of the movie. A quick rundown of the rules of horror movies is explained to them, the monster cannot be defeated by fighting it, it's only the final girl who can defeat the killer, and unfortunately for them they accidentally killed the character that, in the canon of the movie, is the final girl, so they believe one of them has to become the final girl and end the movie to hopefully get out of it. The problem is, the main character is experimenting shock from interacting with her mom's character, she is not taking well to seeing her mom on the flesh and she dedicates the entire movie to "save her mom", in the climax of the movie the mom character begins to understand that she is a fictional character and the nature of her attachment to the main character, understanding that they cannot be both the final girl and if then main character wants to make it back to the real world she has to learn "To let go", choosing to sacrifice herself so there is only one final girl. It's kinda weird, that of all possible premises, this managed to make a "You need to move on" message that somehow managed to resonate with me, you might have figured out by now a running theme here, but, i was really hard for me to deal with my mother's passing even if it's been years since it happened, so it's kinda funny for me to think these are the places i have found comfort from.

-Undertale, 2015 Okay this is tumblr, i already talked about Undertale on the prologue to, whatever the fuck im doing here, you know what undertale is, you know how effective it is, Undertale is really well designed for you to grow emotionally attached to these characters, so being able to see all these characters you know have grown attached to have their happy ending on the pacifist ending does fill one with a very satisfactory warm happy feeling that can move you to tears. ...Or you can be bummed out by being a little greedy gaming bitch and taking a look at the bad ending. Because you just couldn't help yourself, could you?

-Onward, 2020 This movie did not hit me as hard as the most emotional entries on this, but it still got me, because in the end of the day the main motivation of the characters on this movie is experiencing closure, catharsis over the death of their father, for Ian it's the fact that he died before he was born so he never met him and is driven by this desire to finally see the father who he shares such a connection with on the stories everybody who knew him in life have told him, and then there is Barley, the elder brother, who did know his dad in life, but is tortured by how, as a kid, he did not properly say good bye to him because he was terrified of death and avoided being there for him in his final days. The ending for this movie is very powerful, Ian choosing to sacrifice being able to meet his dad in the flesh, even for a few minutes, in order to give Barley the chance to being able to properly make peace with his dad and properly say good bye to him. Ian doesn't even get to SEE this, he does not get to see his dad even tho it was what he wanted most of all, but he understood bringing closure to Barley was more important than his selfish desire to see his dad, someone he never knew in life.

So what have i learned from whatever the hell this trainwreck of a post is...i guess that what really gets to me, what really moves me, is when a character, maybe not even someone i can realistically relate to, gets to experience closure, catharsis and be in peace with the people who are missing on their life. The majority of these things in here, even the Angel Hare example, relate to a character being able to experience catharsis by being able to properly make pace or otherwise contact someone they lost, or their ability to move on from this world, so to speak, knowing that their affairs and in order and that their loved ones will be okay.

Things can always look dark, the world may be trying to keep you down, maybe losing someone has been specially hard for you, but it's not the end of the world, you are loved and things can get better, it always hurts and we'll never stop missing what we have lost, but the memories of happier times are there to remind us, we can be happy again, and we can move on, use those memories as your motivation, you can lead yourself to a future filled with light.

#rambling #onward #mother 3 #angel hare #twisted metal #punch out #yoshi's island #undertale #deltarune #regular show #courage the cowardly dog #EBA

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deadkidcourt · 16 days

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deadkidcourt : our tale of system discovery

I've always been scared of being publicly out about my system, more posts i see from other systems has given me some courage. i like being able to see those posts and see our system or aspects of us in them. I've never publicly spoke of my diagnosis being scared that when people find out that I'm not medically recognized that the fakeclaiming will become really bad. i already deal with so much denial of my own that I've been so scared of rejection from other systems.

we have done extensive research, we have always been very self aware and would never self diagnose without a fuck-ton of research to back it up. we'd always felt like multiple people but not in the way we feel like it now. we'd always been kind of name fluid, loving trying on different names and pronouns. i thought for a long time that, that's how multi-gendered and people who used xenogenders felt.

as time went on, we would have phases feeling girly, wanting a hyperfem gender presentation, and then we would flip 100% and get highly upset even being thought of a girl. even as a child i would act completely different to how i was, and my parents would get highly upset because they felt they didn't know me. saying things like you're acting like a completely different person, but in those times i would get really sad because i was just acting how i felt.

i would often be told i was lying, because one day I'd really like something and the next i hate it with everything in me. people thought i was faking my personality to fit in, but i was just that different. as a teenager i learned about osddid but thought, oh that can't be me! I remember all my trauma! I'm just me! until i met a friend who was a system and learned that alot of how we felt and the things we did were not that of a singlet. that was in 2019, we questioned for a year and thought we were just making things up for attention and to seem interesting (it's not for attention if you're doing it when you're alone.)

i have known about maladaptive daydreaming since i was a child, it was what saved me from most of my trauma. being able to escape to a fake world, but the ‘characters’ didn't change, at least not three of them. we would have random fictional characters show up to, that we would then have a high identity kin with and could never understand why other people didn't connect with characters like that.

one was a girl that always got mad when i was hurting, i thought she was an imaginary friend. someone my brain created to help me feel better about my situation, and then when i was about nine. she would start taking over my body, fighting with our parents when they would act wrong, but after that i would be in control again scared of the repercussions of her actions. this continued for years, i thought everyone made up people in their head to help them and protect them. that's not the case.

in 2021 (roughly) we became highly obsessed with fnaf, circus baby in particular. so much so, we couldn't befriend people online with her as a profile picture. this got bad enough that when a close friend set her discord avatar as glam rock baby (fan design), we had a full breakdown.

all we could think and feel is, that is me, i am that person you cant use that picture thats me and youre not me stop stop stop. our husband has to talk us down, and we kindly asked the friend to not use that character because of the distress we felt about it. we thought that was fictionkin, but it was so distressing and upsetting we had a weeklong disassociative episode and i thought that was just normal. we know now about pur circus baby fictive and have done work to source seperate so as to not have breakdowns and episodes like that again.

now, here's where things get tricky because the memory isn't really there. but from them until this year we fought with ourselves about our self diagnosis, always discrediting our trauma, and symptoms. it wasn't until we told our husband about all of our trauma that he helped us understand how drastic that was especially to a child's mind.

then we started researching, we researched off an on for three years. sometimes noting some people in our brain that we met, but it didn't work because we weren't ready to come to terms with it. the denial was ao bad.

in january of 2024, we had what i know now as a frontstuck host that finally got unstuck and everything started to fall into place for us. we were able to integrate and lose some of our amnesia barriers and i was able to meet some of our alters. it was helpful that our husband was around, because he was able to notice symptoms and changes in our prescence that we couldn't see.

he was able to differentiate between the main four frequent fronters we had at the time and was very patient with us and did research of his own to help us. we tried keeping a notebook, able to see differences in our handwriting and vocabulary choices. the way we dress would change, one loves all dark big clothing while another alter loves showing skin with pastel colors, and another one that just wants to be comfortable. small things like that made it easy to start to see the patterns in our switching. and with learning more, i realized my amnesia is not as cut and dry as i thought it would be. i can remember the bad things but not last week, or last month or yesterday.

there's only ever been one part of our system that we can't seem to wrap our head around. our splitting patterns, and fusing patterns. we have decently good communication, very low amnesia barriers between switching, and i have low access to innerworld. that was all great, but then we started splitting alot, or discovering alot of alters. there would be like 5 alters and 15 fragments and as time went on, i noticed how easily we split fictive fragments and those fragments (usually 2-4 of them) would fuse to make a whole alter. but that alter would have several sources, that always made us feel like we were wrong or perhaps that our system has lied to us. either of which could be true, we don't really care. we just try to take care of ourselves and we try to welcome any newbies to our headspace as gently as we can. we had incorrectly thought that introjects had to have one source, and that set us back on our healing alot. that and we tend to fuse semi-easily and thought we we're lying about our system because of that.

now we just take everything one step at a time, try to meet new alters and talk to them while not forcing it a whole lot. i hope our journey can help you. I'm not the most educated person (i try tho!) so please if I'm wrong about something or something let me know, KINDLY.

- ronnie 💣 and remi 🦨

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wolfythewitch · 2 years

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Idk if I’ve just been following you for too long or if I’m just incredibly easy to influence, but either way, all your brainrotting has spread and it has had Consequences

First Philza, then sandduo, then Hadestown, then The Amazing Devil, now EPIC. I was normal about these once. Yeah, I watched some Phil streams. c!sandduo was pretty interesting. I knew a few Hadestown and TAD songs. Casually followed along the making of EPIC a year or two ago. AND LOOK AT ME NOW. I have not been normal about any of it since. You really up and changed the chemistry of my brain to align with your interests. Just like that. Just sneaky enough that it took me, like, two years to notice.

Actually, I have no idea when I first started following you. One day you were just There and I was just following you on every platform I had with no memory of doing so. It would make sense that I did that in the beginning of my dsmp phase as I started following a bunch of dsmp artists then, but I could SWEAR it’s been longer than that. I remember being confused about that in, like, early-mid 2021 (when my dsmp phase started) bc I sweared the name “TheChannelWithoutAName” was far more familiar to me than the rest of the artists I had followed within that time.

You are like a cryptid. You came from nowhere, as if you had been there the whole time, and then slowly started rotting my brain and taking it over. When I first saw your Athena design I had just, a few hours earlier, tried to make my own version but it wasn’t coming out quite right. Then I saw yours and I was like “yeah! That’s it! That’s… pretty much exactly what I was tryina go for!” Then just now I finished watching your latest animatic and thought “man! That’s exactly how I pictured her, down to her facial expressions and mannerisms.”

WHERE ARE MY BRAINCELLS, WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM AND WHY HAVE YOU REPLACED THEM WITH CRUMBS OF YOUR OWN WHAT IS THIS

GIVE THEM BACK

This is so funny actually. I'm an SCP. I'm an eldritch horror. I'm a cryptid. I'm a parasitic lifeform

#wolfy tedtalks #anon #this is my new favorite ask thank you anon

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likesdoodling · 9 months

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It has been a while since I started digital art,

Quite a while.

So here is a 'progress over the last two years' since I gained access to a drawing tablet.

This is my first ever digitally illustrated piece- compared to my latest one-

So, a little bit different.

I do think my art took quite a jump around June 2022, when I took a break from my Steve comic strip, (for obvious reasons- it was about Technoblade's polar bear so...) and decided to try practicing gesture drawing to see if it helped my general anatomy knowledge. This is before,

And this next one is after.

The most obvious change here is that I switched to using thinner lines. There is a gap of about two months between these.

This was when I realised that you could improve art by practicing it (mind-blowing I know), and then started to do just that. Some other notable jumps forward would be when I discovered the airbrush-

Well, discovered a new method of shading with it anyway.

Then after that I had a few pictures that I actually still like, despite them being pretty old at this point, the one below is actually from September of 2022-

I mean, the hands are a bit iffy, but the rest looks alright. This was when I was going through a bit of a melanie martinez phase-

This next one was from January of 2023, I'd only just gotten into bungou stray dogs via some random memes on pinterest about this weird brown haired guy who had lots of bandages and who had this running gag with wanting to die- I actually looked him up at one point, but that didn't really explain much. The main one that I remember was 'life is short, so make it shorter, shorter than chuuya~'

Which at the time was just kind of confusing,

Then I watched the show and it made perfect sense.

I'd discovered ascendance of a bookworm in like, 2021, but I hadn't really been doing fanart of it since I was mainly doing dsmp related stuff and I kind of assumed nobody would know what on earth I was referencing. Turns out tumblr has a lot more bookworm fans than I orignally anticipated. Instagram still has no clue. I think maybe one person out of my followers on instagram knows what I'm on about-

Then we've got these two which I am still proud of btw-

The first one is from a dystopian/time travel fanfic called viridian.

The second one was after I learned about rim lighting. It was inspired by a song actually, 'crash' by noevaii. (and yes I found that song from a sad-ist animatic, it was cool) The character isn't anyone in particular. They're both from February 2023.

Then there's probably my most liked picture on instagram, (not tumblr, since tumblr knows about bsd and bookworm, but y'know. This was even sadder than I originally intended since the last half of my comic strip was finished AFTER everything happened)

Then the final conclusion of my Steve comic strip in May of 2023.

I don't think my art really changed much in between those, but eh.

Then I switched to doing a bunch of ascendance of a bookworm stuff to see what would happen and turns out there are way more fellow fans out there than I anticipated-

Then I guess my next breakthrough in tumblr popularity, (even if it might not have been a breakthrough in art skills necessarily) was when things went DOWN in the bsd fandom with chapter 109 and I did probably one of my most liked tumblr posts I have ever done-

If you want to see the rest of that, feel free to scroll down on my tumblr page, the original's like eight pages long-

This was before anyone knew what was going to happen btw.

I still think it's hilarious that I put in chuuya having contacts. My reasoning being, they're on a film set,

It was a pretty interesting exercise in shading in monochrome.

Then I started a 30 day art challenge in October that I didn't get past day six of, but it was still pretty fun. This is the best one of those-

After that I spent most of my time studying for the jlpt n5, so I didn't really do that much art related stuff,

This is one of the two non-commission related pictures that I finished over the two months after I kind of gave up on the art challenge. This one's from November,

Then I finally finished an art commission I'd been working on for the three months prior, as well as studying. Here is an example of the type of pictures I was doing for that,

Then I was occupied with christmas and birthday presents for my siblings, both my little sisters are into ascendance of a bookworm- (completely my fault I am proud to say) so I was able to do stuff related to that, here's a couple of snippets, but you guys don't get the colour version hehe

And one of them has also read the entire fma manga just like I have so-

Anyway, it's been quite a progression since I resolved to master digital art in 2021.

I reckon I've come a fair way since then. I mean. My art skills in general are way better than they used to be. The last two or three years have been pretty interesting.

Also-

Just had to include this one, I'm gonna do a more detailed version but still-

I think it's funny so I'm posting it here. Even if it's not really related to art progression-

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cosmiles · 1 year

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𝐁𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔

➢ the story of how kirishima falls in love with you

note: this is actually the fic that inspired me to come back and write again. it was dated feb 2021 but i don't remember ever posting it lol. it seemed fitting as my first fic back. i hope you enjoy <33

characters: kirishima

content: fluff, slight angst, mutual pinning, insecurities, 2nd-year kirishima and friends :p

words: 2.6k

Being in love is like being on cloud nine. Your heart swells with love and it feels like nothing could bring you down to Earth. Except for maybe the cold, dark feeling of rejection. Where it feels like an arrow has been shot through your heart and you come crashing to the ground. Wheezing for air, while the person of your affection rips your heart into a billion little pieces.

And Eijirou Kirishima would 100 percent wholeheartedly agree with that statement. As most people do, he’s had his fair share of crushes and rejections. Six to be exact. Yet, Kirishima never knew where he went wrong. He followed the same plan every time. Once he knew he had a crush, Eijirou would try to become close with them and then confess after he built up his courage. But each time, he was met with rejection after rejection.

Each time Kirishima would bounce back, but after a while, it just hurt too much. It didn't help that he was rejected six times before he even went to high school, but each person was rude in their response. Rejection is bad enough, but to rub dirt into the new wound was uncalled for and downright “unmanly.”

And those rejections certainly didn’t help Eijirou's insecurities. But even with his new makeover before high school, the insecurities were still very present. No matter how hard Kirishima tried to push them down, they still seem to float back up in his head. Especially when you were around.

You, the one with the smile that lifted everyone’s moods. You, the one with slicked-back edges that always stayed in place in a different hairstyle every 2 weeks. You, the one that helped everyone without a complaint. You, the one that stayed stuntin' even in a school uniform. You, the one that had everyone listening when you talked. You, the one that made Kirishima’s brain decide to clock out.

To be completely honest, Kirishima never thought he would crush on you. Not because you weren't good-looking, which you were, and exactly his type. But, because he assumed he would always see you as a friend. You both had major chemistry from the beginning, constantly acting like you knew each other for years instead of just meeting. This, of course, led to the both of you becoming instant friends.

He didn't even have an ounce of romantic feelings till the day they moved into the dorms. As Kirishima showed off his room, both you and Uraraka lit up with excitement. But he wasn’t worried about her. He was stuck on all the compliments you were giving on his room.

“Oh, Eiji! Your room is perfect! It matches your vibe perfectly!” You said as you peered around his room. Everyone, minus Uraraka, was completely unfazed and moved to the next room. He went to follow, yet you were still peering around his room with amazement in your eyes.

“You coming y/n?” He asked, watching you turn away from the books on his shelf.

“Yeah, sorry! I just really like how much your room represents you! It's so cool!” You stated while you both tried to catch up with the others.

‘It would be better if you were in it.’ He thought with a smile before his brain did a double-take. What did he just say? Or rather think?

That was the day the seed was planted and the thought of you was embedded in his brain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At first, Kirishima swore it was a phase. Doesn’t everyone think about dating their friend at least once? Then one night, he thought about what it would be like to hold you while he slept. Would you let him be big spoon or prefer him to be little? He found out two things that night: one, that he had fallen for you hard, and two, how hard it was to sleep without you.

After that revelation, he’s never been the same around you. Before, Eijirou had no problem talking with you. But now, it just seemed like every time he tried to talk to you or vice versa, his heart thought it was the perfect time to run a marathon. He would start the conversation fine, but by the end, he regretted every sentence he said. 'Was that compliment too far? Did you think his joke was stupid? You laughed, but was it out of pity?'

It was a very bittersweet crush. Of course, Kirishima loved being around you and making you smile, but he hated when you walked away and his insecurities took over. It also didn’t help that he wasn't the only one that wanted to get with you. His self-doubting thoughts would constantly remind Eijirou about how much better his “competition” was and that you would probably choose them over him anyways. With his luck, it wasn’t likely that anyone he liked would like him back, especially someone as gorgeous as you. So, the safe bet was to just stay friends and wait for his feelings to hopefully die out.

Fortunately, his friends were having none of that. They first found out about his crush a month into it. Of course, Sero and Denki clowned him for it while Mina was acting like a little kid in a candy store. Bakugo pretended like he could care less, assuming this “little crush” would blow over. He gave Kirishima another two weeks, maybe a month. But, a month turned into two, then three, and suddenly, they were halfway through their second year. And Eijirou was still a lovesick puppy.

At this point, they were all irritated that he still didn’t make a move. It wasn’t funny to Sero and Denki anymore and Mina had been ready for Kirishima to make the next step. But, seeing as nothing had changed from the time they found out, they decided to take matters into their own hands. So, on one of the days that Eijirou was at his internship, his friends forced themselves into Bakugo’s room to brainstorm.

Every idea was shot down by Bakugo for being too elaborate or likely to fail. After two hours of brainstorming with no ideas, Bakugo finally put his two cents into the conversation. He suggested that they should just give him a “little push” by talking to him. It seemed like a simple plan so they all agreed. And that’s how Kirishima found himself tapped to a chair, later that night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was like an interrogation scene in a cliche cop movie. Eijirou was surrounded by his friends who were all dressed in black with sunglasses (yes even Bakugo; Mina made them do it).

“So, um what is this?” Kirishima asked, receiving blank stares and a lamp shoved in his face as a response.

“This is an intervention!” Mina replied.

“An intervention? Uh, what did I do?” He questioned. His brain started scanning through everything he had ever done.

“Take a wild guess, idiot,” Bakugo growled, as he ripped off his sunglasses.

“Is this because I borrowed one of your tubs of eco gel? I ran out of mine and yours smelled so good.” He asked Mina.

“Wait what? No-” Mina started before getting interrupted by Kirishima.

“Um, is this because I helped Sero tape all of Bakugo’s drumsticks to the ceiling? Or because I helped Denki and you-” He rambled before Mina cut him off.

“Ok, ok, ok. Stop snitching on us and yourself.” She glanced over to Bakugo who was barely being held back by Denki. “This is about you and y/n.”

Kirishima’s heart started sprinting after hearing your name. They already knew how he felt so what more did they want?

“Wh-what about y/n?” He asked.

“Bro, we’re almost third years yet you still haven’t made a move,” Sero replied as he ran to the other side of the room to avoid Bakugo's wrath.

“Yeah, not gonna lie it's kinda embarrassing and hard to watch,” Denki added.

“He’s right but that’s beside the point. I mean it's not that hard, all you have to do is just tell them.” Mina stated, clearly starting to get irritated.

“It's not that simple though. There are so many things that could go wrong. For one, I could lose our friendship. Or I might-” Kirishima started before being interrupted by Sero.

“Wow, it's been a while since I’ve seen you whine like this.”

“I’m not whining! I’m just stating facts! Jeez, let me speak out loud.” Kirishima yelled.

“If it makes you feel better, a couple of people in general studies were thinking about asking them out soon,” Denki added, earning a glare from everyone.

“I- how does that make me feel better?” Kirishima asked.

“Well, you see..good point,” Denki replied.

“You guys aren't helping whatsoever!” Mina groaned. “You know what! Everybody out! Right now!”

“Tch, I didn’t even say anything. Besides this is my room.” Bakugo mumbled.

“Jeez, Bakugo if you didn’t want them to find your stash of All Might merch that’s all you had to say,” Denki stated, before walking out of the room.

“Run that back?” Bakugo asked, his eye twitching violently.

“He probably got more than Midoriya,” Sero sneered as he followed after Denki.

“Racoon eyes, try not to trash my room. These two idiots need to relearn their lesson.” Bakugo states, the little pops of his explosions sounding around the room. He flies out of his room, slamming the door shut in the process.

“That’s not my name and you know it!” Mina yells as she ignores the faint explosions and screams. “Look, Kiri. Ignore them, but seriously when are you going to tell y/n you like them?”

“I-” Eijirou started before Mina interrupted him.

“Do I have to lock you in the closet? Cause I will if I have to!”

“What no! I just-”

“You just what? I honestly don’t get what’s stopping you, Kiri. I mean none of us can see into the future so who knows what could happen? This decision could change your life for the better! I just don’t want you to regret this.” Mina stated.

Kirishima thought this over, weighing the pros and cons of the situation. Mina was right. He did say he wanted to live life to the fullest without regrets. So what was stopping him? Rejection. Getting hurt again. Losing one of his best friends. The fear of not being able to recover from this. But he couldn’t let that hold him back. Not after all he’s worked for. Not after how far he’s come. He was Red Riot. Unbreakable.

“I’ll do it.” He replied.

“You sure? Because I have three other pages of ideas.” Mina joked.

“Yeah, this has been going on for far too long,” Eijirou answered. “But, um, can you take this tape off now?”

“After you replace my eco gel. Don't think I forgot about that!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was two more weeks before Kirishima made his move. Two long weeks where he was ready to confess and backed out. Honestly, his friends all thought they were going to have another “intervention”. And as Kirishima was yet again preparing to back out and try again next week, he overheard someone from general studies talking about asking you out soon. Eijirou was running out of time.

During lunch, you agreed to meet him behind the school after classes let out. His friends saw and knew exactly what was about to happen. For the rest of lunch, they hyped him up and built up his confidence. Kirishima felt like nothing could bring him down. He was unstoppable, unbreakable.

Yet when the final bell rang, signaling the end of the day, his insecurities started bubbling in his stomach. All of that confidence from lunch was still there but quickly fleeing. But Eijirou couldn’t back out now. He was right at the finish line.

‘No regrets. No regrets.’ He repeated to himself as he sped-walk to behind the school. And as soon as he got a glimpse of your hair, his nerves went into overdrive. He could do this. He couldn’t do this. He could do this. He couldn’t do this. He could do this.

“Hey, Eiji!” You said, with your signature smile. Well, there goes his heart.

“Hey- uh hi y/n. Were you waiting here long?” He replies. And there goes his brain.

“Nope, I had to help Tsuyu real quick. So, what did you have to tell me?” You asked. Oh no. Here it comes.

“I- well I wanted to tell you that I um...” Kirishima started. He couldn’t do this. This would ruin everything. All of his insecurities were bubbling up and crashing around in his head. It was like he was in middle school all over again. Palms sweaty. Throat closed. Everything crashing down. He can’t do this. He can’t do this. He can’t-

“Eiji? Is everything ok?” You ask, clearly confused about what was going on. He peered into your eyes. They were full of warmth, hope. He had to do this. So Kirishima bit the bullet and poured out his heart to you.

“I like you. A lot. And at first, I thought this was just a phase but it's not. This is too hard to fake and nothing could replace this feeling. And I get that you probably have a line of people trying to date you and I know I could never live up to that. But if we were together I would never lie, make you cry, or do something behind your back. I would be faithful and always stay through the good or bad, all day every day. Y/n, you’re the one for me and I want to be the one for you. If- if you’ll let me?”

It was done. Now to prepare for the rejection. But, it never came. You were silent. Your warm eyes were blown into shock. It looked like there were so many things you wanted to say, yet no sound came out. While it looked like you were having an existential crisis, Eijirou was having one of his own. His fight or flight was activated, but he knew he had to stay. Your response meant everything to him.

“Do you- did you mean that?” You questioned, eyes glassy.

“I- yeah. Every word.” He replied. He had come this far already; might as well go the whole mile.

“Well then, you’ve got my heart.” You answered.

Yup. He figured you would reject- Wait what?

“W-what?” Kiri questioned.

“I’ve liked you ever since we met, but I never felt brave enough to say a word.” You admitted.

That was unexpected. And now his heart is soaring. Apparently, the seventh time is the charm. He just wants to run all the way to America and back. Do backflips off a train. But he can’t, he has to, needs to, keep himself calm.

“Wow, I had no idea. And now I feel bad for waiting for so long to say something. Um, how about I take you out Saturday to make up for it?” Kirishima asked, rubbing his neck in hopes of calming down his nerves.

“So tomorrow?” You replied.

“Uh yeah! Is that ok?” He asked, slightly panicking.

“Of course! Just don't be late or bail on me!” You joked, your signature smile appearing again.

"I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Kirishima stated, his smile also appearing over the sincerity of his words.

This was everything that Eijirou had always longed for. Someone sharing the same strong feelings he had. It felt nice for a chance. He knew he had another situation to stress about (your date!), but that could be saved for later. Now, he just wanted to bask in this feeling. And despite being rejected so many times, it didn’t matter. He wanted to be with you, needed to be with you, and now he was.

➢ thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed and don't forget that Jesus loves you, to drink water, eat some food, and get some rest :))

➢ taglist: 🫧

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peach-and-bugs · 1 year

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Yellowjacket dialogue requests

so, I'm getting back into writing regularly again and so I started with just jotting down different dialogues with varying feeling behind them and I thought they could pair really well with some Yellowjackets work bc I love my girls!

Willing to do self-insert or character x character, platonic, romantic, or smut. just pick a character/pair, a quote, and clarify if they're a teen or adult!

Also! Heads up!: I’ve been getting some requests without a quote with them, which is fine, but I’ll be privatizing those with requested quotes first!

Yellowjackets: romantically (➵ ) platonically (✸) or nsfw (✧)

Jackie Tayler (1996) ✸ ➵

Laura Lee (1996) ✸ ➵

Lottie Matthews (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧

Misty Quigley (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧

"Nat" Natalie Scatorccio (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧

Shauna Sadecki (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧

Taissa Turner (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧

Travis Martinez (1996/2021) ✸ ➵

"Van" Vanessa Palmer (1996/2021) ✸ ➵ ✧

dialogue:

1. “You keep staring at me…” “Oh, do I? I hadn’t noticed.” “how do you not notice it when you're staring at someone for an extended period of time? Natalie (2021) x fem!reader

2. “You sound like you’re dad, you know that?” “ugh, don’t remind me,” Travis (1996) x reader

3. “I have a confession.” “you better not confess to a murder, because I can’t deal with that right now” Misty (2021) x fem!reader

4. “I thought you stopped smoking. You smell like cigarettes again” Natalie (2021) x fem!reader

5. “Wow, you really never got out of you’re angsty teenager phase, did you?” Shauna (1996) x fem!reader

6. “I feel like you’ve got a hand on me at all times,” “Maybe that’s because I’m irrationally afraid that you’ll disappear on me if I let go,” Shauna (2021) x fem!reader Lottie (2021) x fem!reader

7. “Please tell me you didn’t hold on to that all these years” Lottie (2021) x fem!reader

8. “Mmm, before we do anything else can you please go brush your teeth for me?” Lottie (1996) x fem!reader

9. “ok, chin up and take a breath for me. You’re tuning purple,” Van (1996) x fem!reader

10. “When have I ever come across as a person that takes any interest in children to you? Van (2021) x fem!reader

11. “Does every word out of your mouth need to be a movie quote?” “no, sometimes I quote television”

12. “I didn’t miss you. But now you're here and… god, fuck me,” Natalie (1996) x fem!reader Lottie (1996) x fem!reader

13. “You’re shirt’s inside out,” “How do you know I didn’t do that on purpose” Van (2021) x fem!reader

14. “Don't be a smart ass right now, I'm not in the mood,” Misty (2021) x fem!reader

15. “You look exhausted, you know that? Natalie (1996 pre-crash) x fem!reader

16. “I can be happy with however you’ll have me,”

17. “I don’t remember your hands being so callous,” Misty (2021) x fem!reader Travis (1996) x reader

18. “My mother would end me if she found out about this”

19. “Fuck, who doesn’t school prepare you for these kinds of things!”

20. “Can you let go of my collar? You’re choking me a little,” “Aw, I thought you liked that?” Natalie (1996) x fem!reader Lottie (2021) x fem!reader Misty (2021) x fem!reader

#◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ kay's at it again♡#yellowjackets #yellowjackets fanfic #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets requests

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fillinforlater · 1 year

Note

what's your kpop journey ? (how you got into it, your first groups and biased, your opinion on kpop before etc.)

Thank you for the ask, my tired brain will try it's best to talk about how what when happened and yeah... let's go

Early Phase (2012-2016)

Basically me knowing that Psy exists because of Gangnam Style and later Gentleman. Young me really enjoyed those songs, but there was no real connection to korea or the idea/culture of kpop.

Then my sister introduced me to the song Tomorrow by BTS but because I was in my anime phase at the time, I just put it in my anime playlist. I fucking loved the song tho lol.

No bias, no real opinion either lol.

BLACKPINK Phase (2018-2019)

I don't really know how but I found Blackpink and started to vibe with their songs and style, which got really enhanced by their dance of DDU-DU DDU-DU on Just Dance 2019, which i played a lot. I got into them a bit more and my sister (who was a kpop fan behind my back basically kek) showed me Monster of EXO and Don't Wanna Cry of SEVENTEEN.

I was deinitely not a kpop fan, hell, I had no real clue about the culture or other groups or the fact that BTS, who I had one random song of was currently on and unprecedented rise. Everything was set in place, but I was still only danving to D4 lol

Lisa is my bias, though I dunno what that is yet lol. I like Blackpink, but the concept of kpop was not yet really in my mind.

Covid-Lockdown Phase (March 2020-May 2020)

This was the void. There was nothing to do, nothing thag mattered. All responsibilities were on hold. Time to watch vids my siblings to pass the time.

What are they watching? Asian men I do not understand? Looks... fun! With every day, every video, every song I add to my playlist I fall deeper into this glorious hole that is kpop. Like a sponge, I suck up all the content until I am this weird multistan with no sense of direction but the unbridled want to know more and to listen to more.

Blackpink, then BTS, then Twice, the it was already basically everyone else. Kpop filled my time with more fun than everything else could have. Life, strangely, was perfect. During a fucking lockdown, I reached a peek that continued.

My favorite group is BTS by a HUUUGE margin, my bias is switching between Lisa, Jin and Dahyun.

Deeper Into the Hole (June 2020-March 2021)

I add more groups to the list I like. KARD, Red Velvet, Mamamoo, EXO, NCT, SEVENTEEN, Everglow, aespa, TXT, ATEEZ... it never seems to stop. New releases left and right filling my mind to the point were even drastic changes in life cannot shake me up. I'm still falling, reaching deeper for more.

I find songs that I love to death. Answer by ATEEZ especially has me with adrenaline on every listen. It is about now that I find it not that difficult to remember names of members and that I see some (especially) female idols as very pretty.

BTS best group, Dahyun best girl.

K-Pop-Fan (April 2021-August 2021)

Basically yeah. Multistan that had commited to IZ*ONE last second because they were more than just good... they were literally the greatest girl group ever... though I have yet to realize it.

My life is going quite well, I have fun, I don't get tired of this genre that id more than music. It's stupid game shows, funny compilations, memes, stupid takes and pretty people. Around this time I get a bit spicy, reading fanfiction, dumb W*ttp*d stuff with crazy stories until...

Smut. Fuck, since when were TWICE this hot???

But this WP stuff is quite cringey... so I looked around and found Tumblr. First was Peach, then ddeun and then... Levi.

BTS best group, TWICE a close second, Dahyun best girl, Nayeon and Minju were in the hunt.

Smite, Smut and Smusic (September 2021-March 2022)

I messaged Levi (basically just a fanboy letter lol) and he encouraged me to try writing myself. The last time I wrote creatively was 2016, so I really doubted that I could pull something off.

About a week later, I'm in this server with all these cool smut writers and yeah... everything went crazy lol. My life was different and so was my kpop life. The visual effect of idols grew exponentionally, from very high to absurd, yet I still found myself finding beauty and attractiveness in other people around me. I dunno how to explain it lol.

I was writing, listening and also chatting with these new amazing friends that helped me navigate through what were difficult times while also being incredibly talented. My hobby of kpop now turned to another hobby with a new group of friends which grew to great importance in this phase.

BTS an inch before IZ*ONE, Minju easily my new ult.

That's my life (April 2022-now???)

A lot of stuff happened in this time frame but my attitude towards kpop, this community, writing or idols hasn't changrd too drastically. I saw my first concert, that was awesome. IVE rocks my world, other 4th gen groups fight their way to my heart, while I still really love older stuff.

I reach thousands of followers, find new insanely pretty and hot idols, write way too many fucking stories about fucking lol. I listen to almost everything, kpop is still my No. 1 hobby, yet it never overtook my whole personality.

BTS-IZ*ONE-IVE, Minju remains No. 1 but I love so many other idols, especially Yujin and Gaeul.

If you read all this, thank you, have a nice day!

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sincerelyang3l · 6 months

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Rating My Obsessions/Hyperfixiations:

(Going to try going oldest to newest but it might not go so well bc #traumablocking)

2019/2020 (can’t remember):

My Hero Academia: 1/10 (it gets one point for being my first ever hyperfixiation, but I was a foul human being during this time of my life)

The Chronicles of Vladimir Todd/Vampires: 7/10 (I’m sure if I went back and read these books now, they would be subpar and honestly childish, but at the time, I loved them with every fiber of my being, and the memories associated are good so..)

Death Note: 1/10 (Ew I’m foul. I’m a foul creature. I deserve to be put down.)

Dr. Stone: 4/10 (I honestly remember jack about this show but it gets a 4 for being anime.)

Undertale: 5/10 (This game made me happy for awhile, but it was introduced to me by an ex best friend, so it’s getting a solid 5.)

Detroit Become Human: 6/10 (Minus points because of the time of my life this was during, but this game is an absolute masterpiece <3)

Hellsing: 5/10 (The obsession was unhealthy, but this one was pretty great too. Now, it’s sort of a sore spot, but at the time I was living the dream.)

BATIM: 9/10 (This hyperfixiation is honestly older that what I’m giving it credit for, but it’s going here because I don’t have a category for before 2019. Anyway it’s pretty great. It came back in summer of 2023 when I finally watched Dark Revival, which I liked better than the original <3)

FNaF: 8/10 (High score because this is one of the only hyperfixiations that has lasted so many years and can still bring me joy. It’s also older than I’m giving it credit for. Now, Was I cringe about it at some point? Definitely. Do I care? No.)

DSAF: 10/10 (I might be jumping the gun by giving this one my first 10, but I absolutely love this game. It’s only ever brought me joy, to this day I still love it, I based so many of my usernames and characters on it..and just ugh, I love it Fr.)

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: 7/10 (Admittedly, I haven’t stayed that up to date on it, but I love this anime. It doesn’t have that many bad memories and it’s just, great.)

Dialtown: 8/10 (In the same boat as DSAF but it didn’t bring me AS much joy. I still love it though and honestly I need to finish it.)

Hamilton: 5/10 (At the time, again, I loved it, but now it’s honestly one of my least favorite musicals.)

Borderlands: 7/10 (oh god to experience this game again for the first time would truly be a beautiful experience. Although I was cringe with it for awhile and this wasn’t exactly the happiest time of my life when I enjoyed this..so..)

LA Noire: 8/10 (I honestly loved this game, it was a big turning point in me and my brother’s relationship, and I remember staying up late on countless nights playing or watching him play it.)

Curses Cosplay/The Acklam Ashes: 9/10 (This creator doesn’t make content like this anymore, no hate at all they have their reasons and I still love them, but this YouTube show was a pivotal point of my life and I love it so.)

2021:

Creepypasta: 2/10 (Low score just for the sake of the fandom, and the fact of who I was associated with during this period of time.)

Marble Hornets: 6/10 (Was I cringe? Yes. Absolutely. But this show is so amazing I’m willing to put that aside. I’m also rating this separately from creepypasta for obvious reasons.)

WitchCraft: 5/10 (I had a whole witchy thing for awhile? It was mostly just tarot cards and shirts with the phases of the moon on them.)

DND/Divinity Original Sin: 10/10 (I have zero bad memories with either of these. My love for fantasy and DnD was awakened by playing Divinity Original Sin 2 with my older brother, and then that stemmed into more love for fantasy and the genre in general.)

SCP: 8/10 (This hyperfixiation is somewhat still alive? Not really, but I do still enjoy some occasional SCP content. It’s not a higher score because this was 8th grade year and that’s embarrassing.)

The Glass Animals: 9/10 (Less of a hyperfixiation, more of just, man they made some banger music.)

Elvis: 6/10 (Literally what was wrong with me. For awhile I only listened to music from this era, especially Elvis, and forced my family to buy me a bunch of Elvis merch I didn’t need.)

Noir: 6/10 (Okay so, this stemmed from the above mentioned LA Noire earlier and basically was a time period of my life where I was obsessed with watching old detective/murder mystery movies from the 20s. Honestly, they were bangers. But also, wtf was I doing.)

Tv Heads?: 5/10 (I had a weird thing for robot TV heads for awhile? It’s hard to explain honestly.)

Queen: 7/10 (Another one of those weird band obsessions I guess. This one was definitely bigger than the glass animals.)

2022:

Good Omens: 10/10 (Absolutely love. Loved it then and I still love it to this day!! Holding out for season 3 Fr 💪)

Clover: 7/10 (not many people know what this is, so for context it’s an electroswing album by OR3O. I loved it at the time but it doesn’t hit as hard now.)

Phantom of the Opera: 10/10 (Another 10. This wasn’t technically the first musical I ever watched, but, it was the start of my love for musicals and broadway. And it’s just a great musical Fr.)

Ghostbusters: 7/10 (If you asked me why I suddenly had a ghostbuster hyperfixiation during this time, I couldn’t tell you. But they are iconic movies so…)

The Steve Saga: 8/10 (I had watched FavremySabre several years before, but never this series. Anyway I loved it, still love it.)

Supernatural: 7/10 (A bit of a lower score because I was cringe, and my obsession with Castiel was unhealthy. Not to mention Supernatural isn’t exactly the best show on Netflix? It got dull later on, but..did I watch it start to finish anyway? Yeah. Absolutely.)

Twisted Rainbow: 10/10 (FavremySabre Masterpiece.)

Doctor Who: 6/10 (Two words. Season 13.)

Ghost: 6/10 (Low Score because I can’t stand to listen to them now, and because it’s associated with an ex bestie. But. Can’t lie. They had some bangers.”

Steam Powered Giraffe: 4/10 (Also associated with an ex bestie. They’ve got some good music but I don’t listen to them anymore.)

Mushrooms/Indie: 7/10 (This one was a bit odd but it did result in me redecorating my entire room to match this aesthetic.)

2023:

Faith The Unholy Trinity: 10/10 (Awesome Game, honestly one of the first things that sparked by interest in religious media, so points for that.)

The Exorcist: 9/10 (An odd thing to hyperfixiate on, I know, but this was also a result of my growing love for religious media.)

Mandela Catalouge: 6/10 (This was an odd one. I, at the time, had this raging fear of analog horror in general, so watching the Mandela Catalogue was sort of like..immersion therapy in a way. But it’s a pretty good show none the less 🤷‍♀️)

Be More Chill: 5/10 (Loved at the time, but low points for having been introduced to me by an ex bestie.)

Every Man Hybrid: 8/10 (A certified banger. Genuinely one of the better takes on the Operator and the whole creepypasta fandom in general. It’s great fr. Highly recommend.)

Grease: 4/10 (Ew. I’m only putting it here because I was in a production of it, and it was kind of a part of my life, but also, ew.)

Greys Anatomy: 8/10 (A banger show, but it doesn’t get a 10 simply because of how long it is.)

Slipknot: 7/10 (I don’t love who I was while listening to this band, but that’s kind of just something metal music in general will do to you.)

Aliens: 10/10 (This was short lived but strong enough to have bought a “I Want to believe” poster and hung it up behind my bed.)

Beacon Pines: 10/10 (Amazing game, very underrated. Also resulted in good bonding time with my brother.)

Gravity Falls: 9/10 (Another Amazing series that I’m probably a little cringe for. Whatever. It’s awesome.)

2024:

Ace Attorney: 9/10 (I eat, breathed, and slept this game series for months. Nuff said.)

The Ocean/Sea Animals: 9/10 (if I could keep an orca as a pet, I would.)

Midnight Mass: 10/10 (HOLY GOD. Another one of my favorite bits of religious media out there. It’s not exactly prime catholic propaganda but it’s not meant to be either.)

Baldurs Gate 3: 10/10 (This game brought back my DND era, which was much needed. I’d been without fantasy nonsense for a long time and I was ready for it.)

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rivetgoth · 7 months

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Over on Twitter there was a meme that was like “Post 10 bands you've obsessed about at some point in your life,” so I decided to list the first 10 that came to mind 🤔🤔 Note that this isn’t my current or all-time top 10 bands ever, but 10 that I can remember being obsessed with at some significant point in my life.

1. Skinny Puppy — Duh.

2. Culture Club — A landmark band for me, Culture Club was my entry into 80s pop which would evolve into developing my adoration for the New Romantics, 80s alternative, and eventually industrial and goth music. Also the second band I ever actively went to see live!

3. IAMX — One of my favorite bands of all time since around 9th grade, over a decade now!! One of the only bands I have a tattoo for. I could fill an entire post (or two, or three, or…) on just my adoration for IAMX alone, but I’ll leave it at that for now.

4. Ministry — Inescapable, isn’t it? Regardless of the eternal love-hate relationship I have with this band there’s no denying the incredibly significant effect they’ve had on my life unfortunately. The first industrial band I got into post-Skinny Puppy.

5. The Velvet Underground — TVU (along with TBP, below) was arguably the band that got me into music. Period. I’ll never forget hearing “Venus In Furs” and “The Black Angel’s Death Song” for the first time and just thinking it was like nothing else I’d ever heard before. It was everything to me as a teen.

6. Severed Heads — Another one of my favorites to this day, though I’ve had obsessive periods in phases. They kinda baffle and excite me like literally no other band. Like a puzzle I’m always trying to solve. Love love love them.

7. The Birthday Party — Ditto with TVU. “Mutiny In Heaven” shaped me into the music lover I am today, it gave me a taste for something that was like nothing I’d ever heard before and “like nothing else” has been a significant staple of the most evocative songs/bands for me ever since.

8. Joy Division — Community college circa 2017 I had Joy Division on constant rotation, they really got me through it lol. One of the first GOTH bands that I dove really deep into. I was already listening to goth music at that point but at that point in time Joy Division really resonated. I wore my Unknown Pleasures shirt everywhere seconds before it was cool. I still voted for The Cure on the recent “best goth band” poll tho LMAO.

9. Magazine — A more recent addition, Magazine fucking saved my life when I got COVID in 2021 and subsequent relatively severe psychotic symptoms shortly after. Literally just spent every quiet moment listening to ‘em to fight off some of the worst thought patterns I’ve ever had in my life, for months.

10. Steam Powered Giraffe — My middle school heartthrobs 🖤🖤🖤 A bit dated now but man, SPG was everythinggggg to me for a short moment and I think this secret part of my past explains some of my music taste to this day tbh lol 😭 They were thee FIRST band I ever actively saw live, and the most significant connection is that Bunny Bennett’s coming out was genuinely the thing that spurred me to soul search and realize I was trans within the same year :’)

What are yours??

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ghostoftonantzin · 7 months

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The WIP Graveyard Game

@phasmama was kind enough to tag me back on her post

The rules: post snippets from at least on WIP you have abandoned! Mine are going under the cut, because I'm going to post the full five, mostly from 2020-2021 times.

I'm going to tag another 5 people, because I can >:) : @achaosmuppet @theshriekingsisterhood @madelgard (yes I know you moved into the star wars fandom, but still) @starkurt, @indashadows

WIP Title: Laura Branigan Lyric (that's what the word doc is called)

Concept: 1980s AU, focused on Laszlo and Nadja as high powered business people with a sideplot of Nandermo paralleling Guillermo's season 2 arc.

Abandoned because: tbh this one was mostly just one I liked to turn around in my head. It never got past the outlining phase.

Snippet:

His friends frequently describe the joy of conquest to him. Finding a beautiful woman, a model or a music video vixen or both, taking her to the hottest restaurants, introducing her to their friends, showing her the kind of life they lead, on the cutting edge.

It reminds Laszlo of the foxes the hounds chased on hunts on his childhood manor. He imagines the woman as a fox set upon by hounds, torn apart under their small teeth.

But this, this… is like being caught, helpless, in the jaws of a lioness.

(this was the only part that made it past outlining)

WIP Title: tie a ribbon back around it

Concept: Jenna/Shanice, Jenna comes to visit Shanice after she's turned

Abandoned because: it just kind of stayed near the bottom of my WIP list until it fell off, pretty much. Plus I could never get the Jenna POV feeling quite right.

Snippet:

Jenna’s phone said 9:16 p.m., so she figured Shanice would be back from her chemistry night lab pretty soon. She shouldn’t be late, unless she got murdered on that one stretch of the walk from the chemistry building to her new dorm with no lights or police call boxes. Jenna knew it was a good place to get murdered, because Nadja had told her so when Jenna had shown it to her.

One downside to being a vampire was the whole no-reflection thing, which made it hard to check her lipstick in the glass. The lipstick was new, a plum wine red color that the saleslady at Sephora said looked good with her skin tone. Not that she didn’t like the red Nadja had lent her on their first night out! But this was one of those liquid lipsticks that was supposed to stay on through anything.

WIP Title: you've got me living only for the night

Concept: a follow-up to come in from the edge (and let the good times roll), my second-ever fic, the one with Karen (from Collaboration, remember her?) and two of the ladies from Simon's gang. Karen is now living with the Freak Sisters and performing at

Abandoned because: partly because it got struck down so thoroughly by future canon installments, and partly because I fell out of love with the idea.

Snippet:

She sits down in the living room to wait for Mr. Fifties. The Freak Sisters had flown ahead, something about a meeting at the club before the show. They obviously hadn’t needed Karen to know more about it, so she hadn’t asked. She’d felt bad about making Mr. Fifties drive, but Despoina had put another bobby pin in Akeldama’s red wig and patiently explained how he was usually looking for an excuse to bring out his stick shift convertible anyway.

They’ve got her bloodstained bra and underwear framed on the wall, like a sports jersey. It’s a little embarrassing, Karen thinks. She can tell how cheap the lace is now; most of hers costs at least twice that now. She models every pair for them, which is more of a thing for her than for them, but they still clap and leer and pull her in close every time.

The Leatherskins have all always been polite about her, but Mr. Fifties has always been a perfect gentleman. He offers her his arm at the door, though she’s wearing slip on sneakers and not heels. Her heels are usually too high for her to really walk in. The Freak Sisters really like that, especially Despoina.

WIP Title: Vampire King

Concept: a follow-up to such strenuous living, i just don't understand, aka the one where Guillermo is a volunteer at a vampire sanctuary. This was intended to be the follow-up covering the release of the documentary being filmed in the original fic.

The documentary being Vampire King, about the controversies behind Simon the Devious's Sassy Cat Vampire Ranch and Guillermo de la Cruz's campaign to have it shut down.

Abandoned because: other ideas took precedence and I didn't want to learn to code the fake tweets. It also never got past the brainstorming stage.

WIP Title: Die, Cry, Hate

Concept: post-season-2 on the run fic, this time where the vamps go and stay with an old friend of Nandor's, Madame Beausoleil, a creepy French ex-aristocrat vampire with live-laugh-love type taste in decor (hence the title) and a questionable tendency towards hypnotizing her familiars. She decides to repay Nandor's past help by hypnotizing Guillermo to seduce him.

Abandoned because: this was brainstormed in the post-s2 hiatus, and canon continuing past that diminished my interest in the idea. Also never got past the outlining stage.

Snippet (in outline form):

-M.B. is laying boxes out on her coffin, kind of ignoring him

-coffin looks slightly out of place in the room; large white, carved into deep, intricate panels with elaborate motifs and inlaid heavily with gold and accented with pale pinks and blues

-Guillermo asks her about her relationship to Nandor

-she’s known him a long time, helped her out a lot in Paris, owes him a lot of favors

-turns to him “You will submit to my dark power.”

-fuck.

-“You will be Nandor’s for the daytime, for him to do with as he pleases.”

-“alright, strip”

-Guillermo starts taking his clothes off, stake falls out of his sleeve, sees MB. watching it fall to the floor, but can’t move to do anything about it

-she’s absolutely going to kill him

-She picks up a stake “I didn’t know Nandor was into gardening. I’d always taken that as more of Laszlo’s hobby”

-naked, looking at her, she gestures towards the boxes

-he goes to look at them, opens the boxes

-lingerie: red and silk-like, black and strappy, white and lacy, pink and sheer

-she tells him to pick out the pair he think Nandor would like

-“I had to guess your cup size.” She said, glancing at his chest with a furrowed brow.

-feels like he’s walking on the floor above a great machine, feeling its motion beneath him without comprehending it

-brain working without him

-picks white and lacy (“always knew Nandor was a big fan of the wedding night look”), slides on underwear, garter, stockings

#ghost posts #ghost writes #thank you for tagging me back darling #looking through my WIPs I actually found some fics I hadn't meant to abandon

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darkisrising · 5 months

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⭐

(But also I'm greedy and if you want to do Never Leaving Well Enough Alone, I have a special soft spot for that one since it's one of the first ones of yours I ever read.)

(link to game if anyone wants to play)

Sure thing, friend! Never Leaving Well Enough Alone was one of my first attempts at writing in the Mandalorian world. My friend @treescape was writing dinluke and was talking about how active the ship was (back in those early days, circa 2021). Since I was writing quiobi where we were small but very engaged, I was intrigued by this phenomenon of hordes of ppl reading a single fic at once, but made the off hand comment that I doubted I was good for writing any other ship, since I'd only just returned to writing fanfic and still was in my painfully insecure era. But then she said something along the line of (back then) there being very little explicit content for the ship (oooooooh how the tables have turned on THAT lmaoo) and I had this moment of "well... I can write sex at the very least?" so my first few dinluke I went into them with the very clear objective to sex them up more than the landscape at the time was doing, since I *think* if I recall that the emphasis on the ship back then was more on Luke as a potential second dad for Grogu... very romancing the single dad vibes... and mando was essentially one big walking chastity belt.

NLWEA was basically me throwing a chunk of sex into the ship, and then I was gonna run away and hide. At least, that was my plan. So it's a 5+1 time structure, with the idea that they kept running into each other, and then at some point they would have sex. That's... pretty much it. I knew Luke because I went through a hard core OT phases back when the OT was re-released, and I like my Luke as the mouthy Tattooine "what a hunk of junk" farmboy so that's what I wanted to play with in this one. Han's ride or die. Leia's headache of a trouble-magnet brother. I don't think I'd even managed to watch all the episodes of Mando season 1 when I wrote this, let alone 2, but I liked the eternally exhausted freelancer in a gig economy bounty hunter we first meet in the show and figured meh. Why not give it a whirl? The sheer shock of waking up from throwing a post up on ao3 and getting the kudos email the next day. I mean. I can't overstress how MANY readers there were back then. Just. Mindbreaking amounts. I went from quiobi where a hundred kudos was like "oh man, yes, yay, I'm so proud of myself" to just. *hundreds* upon hundreds at once. It was... well. Yeah. Addictive to chase that validation. That's probably not what you're supposed to say when it comes to writing fic, that you got swept up in the attention, but it is what it is. I did. And it was very *very* fun to be participating in a fandom like that, when there's interest and energy, and so so so SO many talented people working at once at a frantic pace. It was such a rush.

I wrote without a really clear idea of where the story was going, except for the structure. As I wrote I was also watching the last few episodes of Mando season 2, and when I watched the episodes with cgi Luke I was like oh huh this isn't really the Luke I remember at all. Part of the lack of affectation was the cgi, but I liked the idea of trying to thread the needle between young Luke and Jedi "stoically driven by the force" Luke, so that's where chapter 4 changes mood from hijinks Luke to reserved Luke. And then, that let me have some fun with the idea that Luke was so consumed/inebriated with the force he absolutely didnt recognize Din from his younger days. Which made the reveal that Din knew extra fun to play with in the next chapter. Chapter 5 also happens to be the first time I wrote Boba Fett, and may *that* be noted by the historians, because I fell in deep, deep love with that man from that moment on. Which eventually led us to the BobaDinLuke stuff that took over my life for the last few years 😆

#ask box #ask game #dark is thinking #dinluke

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somuchcoffeeandwine · 11 months

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All right, fellow MCU fans

So, after seeing the Marvels today, it got me thinking. Now, you probably don't know who I am. But I do happen to be a writer. Not a very good one mind you (several people would say otherwise, but shush, give me my self-loathing) Phase 4 (and the current parts of 5) is not that great. So I want to rewrite the Multiverse Saga. Yes. The entire thing. Even though it's not finished.

Very long blocks of text below. It's really the only thing that keeps me organized. Please read it though if you are interested. It'll be split up into sections, for somewhat easy perusal.

Now, I know this is an ambitious project, and one not done. I am no stranger to things like this, see my own game/show I'm making. (This is the only time I'm going to mention it. But I am pretty proud of it) So, for my very small amount of sanity, I'm stopping it at The Marvels, and Loki season 2 (Oops, still not finished with it yet). And I wanted to ask people what they thought was lackluster, or mediocre. Not the Marvel I and many other people grew up on. I do understand that it was flawed before, but when I recently rewatched most of them, I found that my childhood love for them had blossomed into something new. I was 6 when the first Avengers came out. I learned how to shoot a bow because of Hawkeye in that movie. And I think it deserves better, especially after watching the Marvels.

Now, this means everything after Endgame. So from Black Widow to The Marvels in terms of the movies, and the Disney+ series from Wandavision to Loki Season 2. I have a feeling it's going to take me a second to get through the remaining 5 episodes of Loki S2. My family wants to watch it with me, and they're all decently busy... Anyways, that's 10 movies, and 9 series. Although I don't accept Secret Invasion. Like at all. Anyways.

I have yet to decide what I'm going to publish this on. Probably A03, just because that's easiest for me. And I can organize much easier. Do let me know what you think.

So, before I get into the problems I've identified, feel free to stop here, and reblog or ask me your problems with the aforementioned shows and movies. I'm talking writing or character problems, as we've seen in the series. I am a fan of the comics, but you can divert from that, or stick to them.

Oh, and if you say something like "Make it more queer", I am a raging bisexual enby. I will already be making it queer as fuck, and can be convinced to ship pretty much anyone, if I can get a good reasoning behind it. Minors should be shipped with only minors. That's one of my few rules, if you send anything to me. So yeah, I'm doing genderfluid Loki.

Thoughts on everything:

This is just here so that I don't get a ton of repeats. I'll go movies first, then the TV shows.

Black Widow (2021) - Honestly, this is too late of a movie. Natasha deserved this before Endgame or Infinity War came out. But release dates aside, Taskmaster needs more screentime, and a chance to show how menacing they are. Natasha also needs more time with her family, and the parents need to be fleshed out a bit more. Belova is far too smart to be tricked by the lady in the post-credit scene.

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings (2021) - I don't have any major problems with this movie. The Great Protector, or the dragon, and the supernatural creature, I think he's called Dweller In Darkness, kinda felt a little blank, and the Dweller shouldn't have died, only been pushed back. And I don't like Katy that much. Trevor is much better comedic relief in my opinion.

Eternals (2021) - Oh boy, where do we start with this one? You know it's bad if I can't remember any of the main characters names besides Ikarus. And that's because I was laughing my ass off at him throwing himself into the sun. There was also the Celestial I think it was? Anyways that thing broke islands up, and then just became a massive statue, and like no one mentions it? I don't remember much else about this movie, even after having watched it like 3 times. Oh, and the Ebony Blade was shown off. I like that if they can do something fun with that.

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) - Dr. Strange feels a little shoe-horned in. The whole sanctum being overtaken by snow was pretty clever, but Strange being a father figure to Peter is not super well established. Could be fixed with a couple of rewrites. Or Strange and Stark being together. Peter is a dumbass, and the reason for him starting the whole plot... is so dumb. I understand, teenagers can be stupid, hell, I go to public high school, but Peter's shown he's a lot smarter than this. But I do like the crossover (Dafoe as Green Goblin my beloved) and the fact that the other Spidermen get to say goodbye in one last movie. Anyways, Ned's wizard connections need to be elaborated on as well.

Doctor Strange: Multiverse Of Madness (2022) - Alright, getting my biggest problem out of the way first. Wanda's corruption arc should have been shown. It should have been developed through the movie, and Wanda should have been with Strange and America. She can still be evil, and die after she realizes her actions, but this basically destroys the point of Wandavision. She was willing to say goodbye. Wanda has been a favorite of mine for years, and I read her comics religiously as a child. We need to see the power of the Scarlet Witch. What it did without Wanda. Her "No More Mutants" line sent chills down my spine the first time I read it. Sam Raimi directed this movie. Strange and Wanda should have had more horrific shit. And that one Strange with 3 eyes should have been the one from What If. We need horror in this. America also needs to be more fleshed out. I do love her, but we get like one scene of her being traumatized of basically growing up nowhere. Her moms get to stay though. I'm just going to ignore the last post-credit scene, because... that's setting something up I'm not sure of.

Thor: Love & Thunder (2022) - First up, Gorr has a great setup. He needed more screentime though. We need to see more of his god killing. They should rightfully be shitting their pants over this man. Thor leaving to save Sif was a good move, but that joke ruined the tension. She should have died there, proof of the god killer. Jane Foster is perfectly fine, and her arc is a lovely send-off. I would have loved some more stuff about the kids, especially Heimdall's. I don't even remember his name. He should have been shown doing something in Jane's return to Asgard, something that showed off his parentage. The meeting of the gods is a great scene, but there should have been people who spoke up, and then promptly getting thrown out, or even getting killed. Even more of a reason for Thor and crew to convince him. I think everything else is pretty good. Also Valkyrie is perfect in this movie. Bi queen. And her Loki knives are lovely.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) - I actually think this one just needs a couple of little tweaks. I understand why they couldn't have T'Challa show up in the spirit world, and Killmonger was great, but I still think something between the siblings would be good. Fuck, I love the funeral scene. It was a lovely sendoff to both T'Challa, and Chadwick. Namor seems a little rash though. Might just be the comics leaking through on that matter but I do like the Mayan inspirations in the movie!

Antman: Quantumania (2023) - I'm not really sure on this movie. I don't like Janet in this movie. She feels too secretive. She could have told them plenty, even lied that Kang had gone home. He'd gotten out somehow. Kang didn't seem scared enough of the others, but that might just be me thinking of that. Oh, and MODOK sucked. He shouldn't be a joke. But Darren could have done something else, because he is in there.

Guardians of The Galaxy V.3 (2023) - Perfection in every way. I'm not changing anything unless it involves getting everything I'm incorporating in. And the Christmas Special is also great.

The Marvels (2023) - Spoilers! Kamala needed more screentime, she just generally felt disconnected from the plot besides her bangle. And I also wanted a more menacing villain. That's been the problem with them recently. They don't make me think that they could actually beat them. I like everything else though. Flerkins were great as usual. I love these stupid creatures so much. That one scene was beautiful.

Now to the shows! These are going to be so much shorter.

Wandavision (2021) - I think this is good. No notes.

Loki S1 (2021) - Good, besides the Sylvie/Loki romance. They are siblings. I'm not sure if there's anything else that I really had a problem with. It's been a moment. Which is a shame. I love Loki (Also bi confirmation! I love it!)

The Falcon & Winter Soldier (2021) - I also think this is good, besides maybe having some problems with the villain. Bromance all the way.

What If...? (2021) - Also pretty good. Little self-contained story. I like the zombies.

Hawkeye (2021) - I also think this one's pretty well written. Macaroni is constantly referenced in my house. Lucky is also a pretty boy.

Moonknight (2022) - Honestly, god tier. Anyways, no one mentioned the stars literally turning in Egypt. But maybe it was just the people thinking that they were drunk as shit and seeing something.

Ms. Marvel (2022) - Second favorite being Moonknight. I also don't remember anything glaringly wrong.

She-Hulk: Attorney At Law (2022) - Besides the tone of the show being inconsistent as shit, I think this show should have dove into some of the topics it brought up more. It just seemed a little surface level. Maybe a WWDITS style mockumentary would work better.

Secret Invasion (2023) - THIS ENTIRE SHOW SUCKS ASS. THIS WHOLE THING WAS DONE SO BADLY. I am not taking anything from this show

Loki S2 (2023) - Too distracted by another season 2 coming out, so I have yet to finish. I have heard it's good though. I've seen the first episode, and it's going pretty good so far.

Well, you made it to the bottom! Yay!

...This took me an hour to write. I did get the doc set up. And got a bit of an outline set up.

#marvel #loki #wandavision #secret invasion #she hulk #hawkeye #ms marvel #moon knight #falcon and the winter soldier #the marvels #marvel mcu #mcu #writing #writeblr #long post

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lyriquette · 23 days

Text

Old RWBY AU description from Frosen Steel chat server - 3/31/2021

lilac — 03/31/2021 12:43 AM

--- After an hour or so of tossing and turning in bed to no avail, I suddenly have an idea for an AU. 8)

---

Searching through Atlas's archives, a young impressionable Penny discovers a digital scan of an ancient translated version of the Tale of Two Brothers within. The previous owner of the book had written notes.... well, rants....in the margins about how the God of Darkness deserved to have no worshippers and that both gods were pieces of shit.

Still, the tale fascinated her about how the gods had actually created Remnant and humanity, sorta like how her dad created her from nothing. And it was also kinda sad cause it sounded like the God of Light got all the credit for making humanity if the lack of worshippers for the God of Darkness meant anything.

He kinda reminded her of her dad. Because before Dad made her, people was always taking credit for his work, even though he did 99% of it. But her dad was too nice to make a fuss.

You know what. I'm gonna worship the God of Darkness now and no one can stop me!

----

Her dad had been pretty cool about the entire thing after she explained it, even bought some books about prayer rituals and worship. (He assumed Penny was just going through a phase.)

And so one day, Penny got all the stuff she needed and began praying to the God of Darkness every day.

------

lilac — 03/31/2021 1:44 AM

In a galaxy far far away, the God of Darkness just stared in dismay as another bunch of his worshipers got exterminated again. By the Church of Light no less.

He really wanted to toss an energy beam down there, just to let the stupid ants know that 'hey these are my worshippers', but that'd break the rules he and his brother made.

To be honest, if he actually liked them, he might even done so anyway.. but really, he knew they had it coming. He liked destruction and mayhem as much as the next God, but there's a line between destruction and intentionally torturing and making people suffer - a line his worshippers regularly crossed with the whole skinning and dismemberment alive thing. The sad thing was they literally were all he had.

eriously, why did he get stuck with all the crazy cultists? He wasn't like that. Sure, he had a bit of a temper problem like most gods did when it came to pride, but he hadn't genocided anything since he left that stupid planet wi-

Oh. That human. That Salem. It still made his horns quake just remembering it. He thought he was going to get his very first genuine worshipper, intelligent and sane and wishing for favor. And he granted her the favor, even paid the horrendous price of pulling a soul from the world and encasing it into a mortal shell. And for what? She was just using him.. only came to him cause his older brother wouldn't give her what she wanted,, and he got played like a fool.

And when she got all those greedy humans to rise up against them - to try and demand immortality from them - okay yeah, genocide probably wasn't the brightest solution, but he was what- like a million years old at the time and going through a phase- he's easily ten times that by now.

"Oh, and there goes your worshippers again," said a very unwelcome voice in a tone that didn't seem smug but really was meant to be smug.

"I have a moon and I'm not afraid to drop it," the God of Darkness sourly replied to his brother as he turned his attention back on the last of worshippers getting cleaned up by his brother's.

Wait, that'd probably kill everything in the planet - damn it.

Eh?

Did they miss a spot? Why was he still receiving faith?

"That's the last of them," the God of Light remarked, "Hopefully it won't take another dozen millenia for people to discover your existence again."

...Ignoring his brother's gloating, he directed his attention towards the source of the thin stream of faith.

...Was that Remnant?

He glanced at his brother. He was going to ask if his brother had sensed something from the world they abandoned. But you know what? Fuck him.

"Ugh. Shut up. I'm going to destroy a couple uninhabited planets. See you in a couple millennia or something." he pretended to grumble as he transformed into his dragon form and flew off.

"Sure, brother. Come back soon," the God of Light replied before directing the entirety of his attention back on the world they currently lived in.

The God of Darkness could only roll his eyes as he flew off towards the world they abandoned: Remnant.

---

lilac — 03/31/2021 2:42 AM

Creates an avatar of himself as a Grimm squirrel... human girls like cute things right. This should be an acceptable disguise, right?

It takes him months to create a squirrel that didnt look monstrous enough to get shot on sight by Atlasian security. And since he didn't actually know if his worshipper actually cared about these humans, he can't just go on a murder spree to get through.

Penny gets to learn that though gods, though very powerful and already born fairly intelligent, gain insight and learn very very slowly. Even GoD will admit humans are incredibly fast in that regard.

#rwby au #rwby fic #rwby fanfiction #penny polendina #god of darkness rwby #old au dump #q ;

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