#i ship them but it can be read/seen as totally friendly and platonic :')

[aspensews]

I just wanted to talk somewhere about how much the relationships in Trigun and specifically Vashwood mean to me as an aromantic person.

I want to start out by saying that I have seen that for some aromantic people the term « queer platonic relationship » still doesn’t perfectly define what our close relationships are like, and I also feel this way, but I will be using that term in this for now since it’s the closest we have for the moment.

I say this because to me the relationship between Vash, Wolfwood, Meryl and Millie feels like what I would want in a qpr. They all obviously love and care about each other deeply in a way that can be interpreted as more than friends but isn’t exactly romantic either. And I love that Nightow never explicitly confirms any of the possible romantic relationships in the story to be such, because that means it is totally possible that these characters love each other this deeply without any romantic attraction.

Vashwood specifically is so incredibly important to me in this way. I was discovering I was aromantic at the exact same time as I was reading Trigun Maximum, and Vash and Wolfwood’s relationship honestly helped me realize I was aro because I realized it was possible to love in the same way as these two do without it being romantic. Nightow wrote them in such a way that the reader can choose to interpret whether they are platonic or romantic but that either way they love each other deeply, to the point that I have seen many describe them as soulmates. I personally describe their relationship as something deeper than friends but not necessarily romantic.

Reading about their relationship reminded me of exactly how I experience love for the people in my life and helped me a lot in not feeling sad when I finally realized I don’t experience romantic attraction. Because I already experience a lot of love that falls into this category and I don’t need romance to be happy.

On the more headcanon side, since the relationship is open to interpretation, I have kind of taken to imagining Vashwood/just the whole team as my ideal qpr where they are all platonic but sometimes have sex about it. I don’t often feel like the shipping communities in fandom are friendly enough for me to talk about a headcanon like this, but with Trigun I have found so many of the shippers to be so friendly and accepting of specifically the multishipping and the trans headcanons for the characters that I hope that maybe my qpr headcanon would be accepted as well.

So if you’ve made it to the end of this post, thanks for reading and if you’re queer haven’t watched and read Trigun I highly suggest it. It has such amazing writing, themes and a canon trans woman! (Elendira ❤️)

[waheelawhisperer]

Gavial for the ask thing, yeah?

Gavial my beloved croc wife

NOTP: I can't really think of a genuine NOTP for Gavial, so I'm gonna make a controversial pick here and go with Gavial x Tomimi strictly because a) Tomimi being a romantically-unsuccessful failwoman is funny and b) @annierosaart showed me a screenshot that implies Utage wants to NTR Tomimi (because Utage's a fucking bully apparently)

BROTP: Gavial x Doctor. It's canon tbh, just look at her Alter's voice lines. Like come on, in her Invincible voice lines alone, she offers to take the Doctor back on vacation to see her home, wants to take them on a joyride in one of Zumama's mechs, and is implied to give them a shoulder massage. She also does in fact take them to see Acahualla in the Great Chief Returns event and shows a lot of care for her fragile little noncombatant Bro over the course of the event. It's clear from Great Chief Returns and her Invincible talk lines that the Doctor is very important to her, and even her regular form's talk lines imply some degree of closeness. Seriously go read them they're so good.

Also, Dreamer and I have conducted intensive research and concluded that Gavial, being a true Bro, would tell Doctor "nice cock", very loudly and to Kal'tsit's dismay, and give it a friendly squeeze, whether the cock in question be physical or spiritual. You know, as Bros do.

Gavial x Minimalist is my second BROTP, if only because Stitch Canvas is a little bitch and would totally hate it and I think that would be funny.

OTP: Gavial x Doctor. Yeah Gavial you just wanna rub all the tension out of their shoulders I'm sure that's totally platonic (also her Medic talk lines say she initiates physical contact to get closer to people alscoxcnv). Between that, the talk lines mentioned above, the way she took Doctor to a waterfall to go swimming (with their friends but still) and the way her talk lines indicate that both the Doctor themself and their good opinion is very important to her, this ends up being another one of the Doctor x Operator pairings that I feel actually works with the Doctor as a character instead of as a player stand-in.

Second choice pairing: Gavial x Pozëmka. Ideal City was so funny I legit spent the whole event thinking "Damn Pozzy wants that croc strap but she refuses to admit it and has no idea how to get it even if she did so the Belligerent Sexual Tension is just driving her nuts" and also they look cute together honestly. Gavial x Tomimi and Gavial x Eunectes also totally rule.

Fluffy pairing: Gavial x Doctor, Gavial x Tomimi

Angsty pairing: Gavial x Tomimi. Gavial is not great at angsting in general from what we've seen, but pre-Great Chief Returns Tomimi can carry the load for both of them.

Favorite poly ship: Gavial x Tomimi x Eunectes

Weirdest pairing: I don't think I really have any truly weird Gavial pairings but I really like the idea of Gavial x Indra x Specter x Lappland being Bros and Troublemakers and starting fights and causing problems. They make each other worse and more annoying.

[koushirouizumi]

{DigiAdvs+02}/{Index} IzzyIzumi / KoushirouIzumi’s Fanfics for Koushiro, Taichi, & Koushiro x Taichi {KouTai}/{+Etc. (+Friendships)&Ship[s]}

I know there’s been a lot of DigiAdvs fan-events going on lately. I usually can’t participate in most events for varying reasons including personal ones, but I’m glad to share my past works in the form of this index.

ALL were created out of Positivity and respect for this series.

[I'm trying to keep this out of less commonly-used tags; but I do use some of {these} for organizing on my blog!] (Please note ALL tags/etc on fic[s] before reading / Interacting)

Title: REPEAT?_ Rating: Mature (one fade-to-black scenario) {Taichi & Koushiro are heavily implied as having a sexual relationship} (The dynamic is more like Queer-platonic with Aro-spec & A-spec leaning) Head-canon{s}: Demi-romantic Pan-sexual Koushiro; (+ Queer, uses various labels) Pan-romantic Demi-sexual Taichi (+ Queer; uses Gay & various label) Ship{s}: KouTai {Koushiro x Taichi} (Main Focus) A-spec!YamaSora {Yamato x Sora} is implied for a few very fleeting, brief moments {along with a single ambiguous timeline one-shot} + Queer!Jou x Bi & Queer!Mimi is implied super briefly in spinoff one-shot. + YamaSora{Jou}/Mi as a Poly-ship can be read into spin-offs too where wanted. + 02 Chosen having minimal appearances in spin-offs (no ships yet.) (Daisuke is timeline-wise still crushing hard on Hikari and bouncing around potential relationship dynamics w/others & O.C.s but it’s not referenced here.) Summary:

Taichi wasn't sure what he was expecting. …He just knew it wasn't… this…

(Please see inside for ALL Notes!)

Title: The Past World Rating: PG-13 (will not go higher) Notes: Implications about self-loathing (both Taichi & Koushiro) & Koushiro's previous self-depreciation {Novels-implied} in general Royalty!A.U.; however things may not be as they appear… “"Dark”"!Chosen Children A.U. appears in some parts (mainly in flash-back form, until…). Characters: Taichi, Koushiro, Adventure Chosen team, 02 Chosen Ship{s}: (Same as "Infalliable" listed below can be read in) + KouTai {Koushiro x Taichi} focus. Ken+Miya has a scene where they're both present, but not completely in a relationship yet; as friendly. YamaSora is implied for a few very fleeting, brief moments + Ken x Daisuke is implied for a total of one (flash-back) A.U. scene, but will come to have a heavy presence in future sequels to this A.U. Summary:

"-- About that, you'd be better off asking your new advisor," "H-huh?-" When suddenly -- -- as if out of nowhere -- -- from a short distance -- a shy gaze peers up at him

… pure black eyes.

Title: Possession Rating: PG-13 / R (Violence implied) Notes: early Epilogue era / Taichi and Koushiro are adults, 30-35+ - can be conidered a spin-off timeline / part of REPEAT?_ - partly based on general head-canons, partly based on my old as heck Digi-O.C. fic and the head-canons I / Young me had for its own future / epilogue era - Leans more post-02, {not really Tri} canon compliant overall (thus many things happen differently between these two things - I hadn’t seen Tri yet before initially developing this “time-line”) - (still) very vaguely based on a few new ideas / Thoughts gained from Tri - KouTai + Government Corruption A.U.??? + Ambassador!Taichi (Koushiro hasn't quite reached the "Digital World" Researcher position Yet) {who is trying to fight against said Corruption, but...} Summary: "We’re… being targeted," "but not just by---"

"One, a certain one, among them" "had the power to open the gate" "–and immediately close it again"

Title: Dress Rating: G Character{s}: brief references (in thought) to Sora; Mimi; Izumi family + Yoshie Izumi (Yes, I know others like “Kae” for her. She’s “Yoshie” here because I liked that name and it’s what I used in my old fic-stuff because that’s how I knew Mrs. Izumi as for years. No, I’m not changing it. {Its also how I differentiate between canon and spin-off timelines with Izumis}) Ship{s}: KouTai {Koushiro x Taichi} (Implied briefly at end in Thought) Notes: Discussion of Koushiro and Gender Identity. Summary:

Koushiro remembers only feeling perturbed by such “clothes”.

Title: Candles Rating: r18 Implied ? (Pre?-Fade-to-Black) or Mature / technically Work-safe Notes: some very personal Specific Headcanons are heavily implied technically part of REPEAT?_Verse, ( ficverse version here ); - it can be read as a standalone fic - it can be read as an AU and/or spinoff of the main REPEATVerse; - or as its own standalone AU/spinoff Verses: Post-Advs (can also be post-Tri/Kizuna); pre-Epilogue [+pre-’having’ Kids]; Taichi has graduated a while ago by now. Taichi has been involved with his Ambassador career for a while, but it’s still getting off the ground too. (And it’s . Stressful) +Taichi and Koushiro are heavily implied to be living together already here. Summary:

Taichi is having … a hard time.

Featured Head-canon: Jew!Taichi (+Koushiro in the process of converting/joining) Implied (A.K.A : Taichi is both mixed J.P.N and Jew)

Title: Ten Rating: PG-13 (Psuedo not-really-character-death implied) Character{s}: Koushiro Izumi & Daisuke Motomiya {Friendship} Ship{s} KouTai {Koushiro x Taichi} heavily Implied Summary:

“…Can you turn around and— - it’s April 2004. (..Or is it April 2003? Spring 2003?) - at the end of Spring 2003, something else astonishing occurred: Daisuke’s sister Jun, the Inoue sisters, & Shuu Kido all became Chosen at once. - an incident, (occured, and then) —

“I’ll help, so we, you, can get out of here !!—”

“They {Won’t come}”

…TAICHI-SENPAI’s GOGGLES ( … Are probably absolutely unfitting for Koushiro Izumi, but…. ) Trigger warning for above (avoid looking for Spoiler): (Psuedo not-really-character-death implied)

Featured Head-canon: Jew!Taichi (+Koushiro in the process of converting/joining) Implied (A.K.A : Taichi is both mixed J.P.N and Jew)

Title: Dreams Rating: r-18 Implied ? (Pre?-Fade-to-Black) (Also S.F.W segments from younger days referenced) {It's a bit Ambiguous. You Might Get An Idea TM} Summary:

Sometimes, Koushiro dreams. (Of Brown hair, Brown eyes.)

This can serve as a prequel spinoff to my other Koushiro-centric series, "REPEAT?"_-verse or be read as a standalone.

Title: (Dirty) Computer Summary:

"Do you like computers?" Tentomon had asked Koushiro, once.

“You just like working with machines more ‘THAN PEOPLE’, don’t you?!” … But why does it MATTER if Koushiro – DID —

A character study and analysis on Koushiro Izumi's Canon personality, (with a touch of heavily implied headcanons), with brief references to Koushiro's notable relationships, Family, and those Interests. "It's OK for you to be obsessed with computers!" - Mr. Masami Izumi, Adventure Episode #38 (There are some light references to the novel's given backstory details for Koushiro, including Koushiro's mindset there.)

Title: Koushiro Izumi Is Touched By Death Rating: PG Notes: Implications about Death & Grief (for passed loved ones), + the mourning/grieving process in general Characters: Koushiro & Daisuke {Friendship} Ship{s}: (Implied) KouTai {Koushiro x Taichi} can be read into the background, but is not actively discussed / mentioned Summary:

In which Koushiro Izumi Is Traumatized, Has Always BEEN Traumatized, And Daisuke Motomiya {NOTICES}.

Takes place shortly before "the summer of" a somewhere between 2003~2005. (02 takes place in April~December 2002, Tri takes place in 2005 June~December.) {Tri knowledge is not required to read, but may be helpful to understand continuity.}

Title: Infalliable Rating: PG Notes: Implications about self-loathing & Koushiro’s previous self-depreciation {Novels-implied} in general Characters: Koushiro & Daisuke Ship{s}: (Implied) KouTai {Koushiro x Taichi} can be read into the background, but is not actively discussed / mentioned; Daisuke x (Girl)!O.C. (“Hikaru”); in background; (My O.C. does not appear much within the context of the fic, but the dialogue refers to an event they were involved in immediately previously, with a Koushiro-focus and Daisuke-relevant aftermath.) Daisuke x O.C. aren’t “together” yet; it is developing relationship. Ken x Daisuke x O.C. may be Implied in spin-off fic{s}; KenxMiya may be implied in semi-canon-compliant 'verses, with former Ken x Daisuke heavily implied / mutually requited-yet-unrequited (as Daisuke is pursuing a direct relationship with someone else for a while, and Ken does not pursue a relationship with Daisuke yet) / hinted. Poly-ships may be included in any future spin-off, but none are referenced in this specific one (yet). Summary:

Daisuke stares moodily ahead. Koushiro does the same, except Daisuke genuinely doesn’t know - cannot even tell - if Koushiro’s doing it “moodily” or not, because Koushiro’s blank staring is that unreadable. They sit, Daisuke next to Koushiro, for a few long, long moments. And then – Koushiro… opens his mouth – “I’m not infalliable.” Daisuke’s eyebrows furrow, even if he can’t look at Koushiro in this exact moment –

“Unshakeable? Indestructible–” Daisuke’s head hurts. “I admit there was a time when I thought, …” “NO!! That’s not true!!”

“When you asked me, 'What about YOU, Daisuke-kun’ – the one who gave me that push – that was you.”

A “missing scene” of Daisuke & Koushiro friendship from my other Adventures & 02 Chosen fic; “The Past World” You do not have to read that one to appreciate this “missing” moment, as its mainly friendship. There is a slight hint of Daisuke/Original (“Girl”) Character OC, but its more lightly implied; (Epilogue semi-canon compliant) There are also background relationships like Taichi/Koushiro, the slightest hint of background Ken/Daisuke, others hinted.

Trigger warning: for above (avoid looking for Spoiler):

Koushiro is heavily implied as once having considered suicide (pre-series). (No longer actively)

Title: Words Rating: PG Notes: Implications about self-loathing & Koushiro’s previous self-depreciation {Novels-implied} in general; with a focus on self-acceptance + Koushiro’s heavy use of formal speech and communication in the J.P.N version is referenced frequently. Tri is referenced / implied-as-AUs or for semi-canon compliancy (light spoilers for Kokuhaku; but not majorly referenced; just a quote) {plus a gif of a small moment involving Taichi + Koushiro} [also one more small conversation moment between Taichi and Meiko] (a scene from the first episode of the 2020 Reboot is referenced) - it can be read as a standalone fic - it can be read as an AU and/or spinoff of the main REPEATVerse; - or as its own standalone AU/spinoff (i.e. this can be read on its own) Characters/Groups: Taichi & Koushiro; Koushiro Izumi & Tentomon; Koushiro Izumi & Mimi Tachikawa; Koushiro & Izumis Ship{s}: KouTai {Koushiro x Taichi} focus Summary:

– To be honest,

Taichi and Koushiro don’t need words.

( They have a lot more than Just )

( words )

Title: Hands Rating: r-18 Implied (Fade-to-Black) Notes: nothing major is shown but they are sharing a bed; - it can be read as a standalone fic - it can be read as an AU and/or spinoff of the main REPEATVerse; - remember when Taichi implied Yamato was “sharing a room” with “Sora”? (see near end of Pt 5 of the fic) ( this may be that instance, or it may be something completely different; it can be post-fic or anything applicable! ) [ it does fit in nicely with that implied instance, though ] Character{s}: Yamato, Sora, Mimi Ship{s}: Yamato x Sora x Mimi {YamaSoMi} as equal-on-all-sides Poly-ship (Yamato has lesser of attraction to women / anyone aside from Sora & Mimi) Summary:

she’s – also – facing – past him. Towards – Mimi hums, reaching and entangling her hand into Sora’s.

( Somehow , ) “ Hey, can we … ” but then, again – “ Can we ? ”

Title: Donor Rating: PG-13 (Discussion of Fertility-relevant topics) Character{s}: Koushiro; + Koushiro’s past not-quite-partner O.C. implied; Taichi is referenced; the lead-up to Koushiro’s Child (from Epilogue)’s eventual birth is heavily implied Ship{s}: KouTai {Koushiro x Taichi} heavily implied in background {Koushiro has a dynamic with an adult woman / G.N.C O.C. involved} (Koushiro believes Koushiro’s feelings for Taichi are unrequited until adulthood; but are they really? Not quite...) Notes: bit of angst-y introspection over-the-years style but otherwise a good end Summary:

Koushiro is twenty years old. Does he even want a family ? Koushiro is in his early twenties. His parents are once again celebrating their anniversary. He smiles at them yes I WANT A FAMILY

[If you are a heavily Koushiro-negative, Taichi-negative, Hikari-negative, Meiko-negative, DigiGirls-negative (including their family members), Adventure {Our War Game}, 02 {+movies}, Tri {+Digi-Stage-play}, Kizuna, “The Beginning” potential, 2020, Tamers, Frontier, Xros Wars + Hunters, Ghost Game, or Wonderswan games negative any-of-the-above stan{s} to the point you can’t even be polite interacting with fan-works and fans of these series; PLEASE DO NOT Interact on my works or blog, I MAY Hard-BLOCK YOU IF I NOTICE.]

[Note: Tags/replies that are Positive/respectful are O.K.!]

[humanitys-shortest]

RK800/RK900 - Everyone Deserves A Name ♥

How RK900 got his name:

After the android revolution, Connor is so much more free as a Deviant. He’s allowed to develop his own personality, his own style… He’s allowed to discover his own indenity and make his own choices and decisions. Connor likes to let his hair curl and be messy, and he loves to wear the thick rimmed, thick framed glasses that Hank got him - even if he doesn’t actually need to wear glasses. He loves to cuddle in big jumpers - especially his “Detroit Police” hoodie the most, and any other clothing that is pretty much two times his actual size. Things like this make Connor happy, and he’s reminded everyday how good it feels to be free. 

That’s why, when RK900 joins the Detroit Police Department, Connor makes it his mission to try and help RK900 out of it. To try and coax him to be free, too. RK900 is so buried within his programing - he doesn’t care about himself or his own comfort, or how he was percieved amonst others, as long as people played to his game. He’s the upgraded version of Connor - so of course, he’s bigger and stronger. More muscular and capable, where as Connor himself is on the smaller side; very lithe and agile. But RK900 is just… Devoid of everything. He has an unprecedented amount of coding that stops him from going Deviant, irregardless of everything around him. Connor just wants him to be happy and free. He always comes over to RK900′s desks to check he’s doing okay, to check he’s taking his breaks, to ask how his day has been and bring him coffee of a couple of occasions… Even if, at first, RK900 is a little annoyed by all of Connor’s questions and the interuptions to his work that he causes. For so long, he’d either tell Connor to “go do your job” or “why aren’t you at Anderson’s side? He’s a liability when not under watch” or just completely ignore Connor. Not even looking up from his desk and computer.  But… RK900′s weakness would be the coffee. He’d try to hide it, but it was a luxury that just seemed to somehow draw out the faintest reactions from him. He’d actually engage in drinking it, and he’d start (accidentally) linking Connor to that sense of faint enjoyment.

And Connor would pick up on how RK900 was enjoying the coffee, too. One day, Connor - who was all excited, practically bouncing on his heels - would come over to RK900′s desk, taking his wrist gently and tugging him out of the DPD. Tugging him down the endless streets of Detroit that Connor was very familar with by now. All cheerful and happy. “RK800-’ RK900 would start, feeling like an owner who’s puppy was tugging at the lead. ‘-Let go of my hand. What are you doing? Does this pertain to the case?” Wondering just how in the world Connor had all of this energy. “Would it make you happy and agree to come with me if I told you that it linked to the case?” Connor would smile, practically glowing, having come out of his shell so much since becoming Deviant. With help from Hank, Markus, North, Kara… Connor is now his own person. “And call me Connor! It’s not that hard! I keep telling you!” No one expects this cute, little dork to be a damn police detective, but when they get their asses kicked by him, they believe otherwise. He was scarily good at his job and super successful, whilst staying true to himself and being confident. “It wouldn’t make me happy, I can’t feel happy - however, it’s relevance will ensure my compliance.” RK900 would respond, following after Connor and wondering silently whether or not Connor was going to let go of his wrist - and further more - why RK900 hadn’t automatically pulled his wrist away when Connor first took it. “If I called you Connor, it would result in confusion, since I myself do not have a name - it’s best that I call you by your model number.” RK900 reminded Connor so much of his old self… Which would give him even more of a reason to help. “…Well, I could give you a name… If you’d like that…” Connor would say, almost shyly, still with a happy tone to his voice. 

RK900 would be scanning the area repeatedly, trying to figure out where the bundle of joy and energy was taking him. Connor knew where this place he was - taking RK900 too - off by heart by now; always going here with Hank and his friends. But as for RK900… The surroundings offered nothing for him to work with just yet. Was his processor slow? Or was he not up to date on the case- “I don’t need a nickname.” He’d insist at first, before pausing… “However… It… Might decrease ineffciency or time loss. RK900 is not… Catchy.” He’d think again for a few moments. “If I had an ulterior, more memorable nickname, it could benefit my overall efficiency.” Connor would be grinning as soon as RK900 explained his train of thought. Connor would honestly think it was adorable, and he’d be completely listening to every single word. “Good! Then it’s settled! I’ll pick out a name for you.” Not just a nickname. “But you’re going to have to let me think about it over coffee!” Woops, well, Connor just outed himself there. Taking RK900 to a coffee shop wasn’t much of a surprise anymore, huh. “Come on, slow poke!” RK900 would blink. Connor had changed his phrasing - “RK800, you said “name” not “nickname”, there is a substantial difference.” He wasn’t allowed to have a name. That was very clear, buried in his protocols - names formed senses of individuality - “-coffee? and I am not slow! I have a higher speed capacity than any other model on the market-” He’d speed up a little regardless, following orders subconciously. “If you want coffee, we should turn around and head back to the station, where the coffee machine is.” And, it was free. RK900 didn’t have money - he wasn’t allowed to buy things - no, he didn’t need to buy things.

“A name is more important then a nickname, dummy. And i’m going to give you one, whether you like it or not. You’ve already given me your permission.” Connor would giggle with a bright smile - ever present - as he looked back at the taller, more muscular android. And Connor would be a lying little shit if he said he didn’t like that. “Oh, I promise you, the coffee i’m about to buy you is ten million times better then the coffee back at the station. You’ll love it!”

When the two of them arrived and got inside of the small, cute cafe that Connor himself always loved going to - Connor situated RK900 down at one of the corner booths and asked him to wait in a soft voice, followed by a kind smile. He came back within a few minutes, with two recyclable take-out cups in hand. He’d sit on the other side of the booth, opposite to RK900. 

“Okay, you see how my name is written on the cup, here?” Connor would point out with his finger. “I thought of a name for you. And it’s written on your cup! So… Surprise, I guess?” And on the back of RK900′s coffee cup, would read: Nines. In clear handwriting.

“…Nines.” RK900 would say softly, and before he could control it, his brow would unfurrow - eyes softer, clearer, and although is mouth would stay sealed the way it was, his eyes would actually be so expressive - he’d look happy. Barely recogniseable - but then he’d realise what he was doing and stop instantly. He wouldn’t know how to confirm that… It’s the nickname he wanted - but not want, since he couldn’t want, or like - just - “that fits well.” He’d end up saying somewhat awkwardly. Conflicted. “I… Accept this as my nickname. Thank you.” “You’re very welcome.” Connor would respond happily, so glad Nines - Nines! He had a NAME! - liked the name. “I’m glad you like it…” Connor would be blushing a very faint blue, dusting over his cheeks as he looked down at his own coffee cup shyly. Watching Nines expression change like that, however…? Oh, Connor had seen it. He’d seen the way Nines’ features relaxed, and his eyes became a little softer and… Dare he say it… Happier. Connor was SURE of it! “And it’s a name, Nines, Not a nickname. Dammit, i’ve just gotten you to stop calling me RK800 and now i’n going to have to get you to stop doing something else? Unbelievable.” Connor would say, but in a completely playful tone, laughing soon after. “If it was a name, it’d be on my offical records. It isn’t.” Nines would say matter-of-factly, his eyes always flickering back to the cup…  Before they left, however, Connor would definitely take a photo on his phone of his and Nines coffee cups. To remember this moment.  And Nines… He has an inbuilt software that allowws him to take photographic records with his eyes, for crime scenes etc… He definitely snaps a shot as well.

A few days later, after giving Nines time to adjust to his name, Con would so expertly and easily hack all files on Nines, and his interface/HUD, to display his name instead of his model number. Even his jacket… Connor would change that, too. So when Nines caught his reflection that day… He’d just be staring, eyes unblinking, looking at the jacket. “You gave me a real name.” He’d say, not turning to look at Connor, but knowing Connor would hear.

[reachexceedinggrasp]

I would love to hear your thoughts on why you like the Twelfth Doctor and Clara, individually and together, if you feel like talking about it! I've only seen what amounts to now half of New Who, Nine, Ten and Eleven, and I've been watching Twelve and wow. He's really special. Eleven is like the opposite of Twelve, he's so underhanded, yet Twelve is like generous even when he's harsh. It's so funny how different they are. What romantic beats do Twelve and Clara hit for you?

Haha sorry if that's a really broad question. I've been through your Tumblr tag for the pairing already lol. For a more specific question, what do you like about Twelve more than the other Doctors? And how does the Doctor and Clara compare to other ships you ship? Hope you are having a great day, I love your blog!

Oh, so you've already seen my Whouffaldi Text and Subtext dissertation. When I read your first ask, I was going to just lead with that lol.

I don't know if you read all my tag rambles where I talked a bit about some of this, but I'll try to explain why it's such a Ship of Dreams for me. There was actually a hurdle I had to get over, because my parents raised me on lots of Classic Who, so it did feel really weird to ship the Doctor. Just because I imprinted on it super young and related to him as a kind of avuncular figure lol. I know there's a whole wank about this in the fandom and a lot of old school fans are hardcore NoRomo and regard him as a totally non-sexual being, but the show has never supported that reading. (The First Doctor is not only travelling with his granddaughter- who is never implied not to be his literal, biological granddaughter- he also dated an Aztec woman and even flirts occasionally. All the Doctors flirt with the possible exception of Two. Four/Sarah Jane is borderline explicitly romantic.)

Anyway. That reluctance aside, this pairing is very nearly tailor-made to be Relevant to My Interests.

Because it's the 'unlikely on the surface' thing where they are from such vastly different worlds and have such vastly different frames of reference. He's a nigh-immortal prickly alien who is a weird combination of selfish trickster god and ethical paragon, who is always some degree of abrasive and impatient in every version of himself despite the fathomless well of compassion he has for all forms of life. The Doctor is always both a child and an ancient world-weary old man, which makes him a very complicated person to have a serious relationship with, even a platonic relationship. He's difficult. Where Clara is a normal adult with a normal maturity level and a primary school teacher ability to turn on a friendly, upbeat, nurturing social persona. People take her to be sweet and simple at first glance. They seem an odd match on the surface.

And I love a pairing where people on the outside can't imagine how it happened. I like when you can't judge the book by its cover. They slot into my broader Beauty and the Beast archetype (which really describes 99% of my ships in some capacity).

But even more so than that, they have a tangible, adult connection which is very grounded and real, but they are also this epic, all-encompassing, universe-destroying, can-be-contained-only-by-poetry, destinies entwined, deathless true love, Gothic Romance, out of hand soulmate thing. The Doctor endlessly incinerating his own body and chiselling away at the impossible for 4.5 billion years just for a potential opportunity to save her life? Not even be with her, just save her? A chance! Fucking ROMANCE. Clara's abject devastation that he would do that to himself, her equally insane antics to try to protect him, her realisation of being so overwhelmingly loved by this absolutely terrifying force of nature and her response to that being 'we're such idiots we should have talked about this, we're going to talk about this right now!' It takes until the very end, the utmost extreme, for Clara to recognise his devotion for what it is,

(because both of them have been idiots about this throughout their entire relationship- afraid to be hurt, afraid of all that it would mean, of change, afraid to be rejected again, etc. etc.- and have been pining away in denial that their feelings are mutual, paralysed by fear of losing each other)

but when she finally understands that he loves her, she has to wrestle with the Frightening Scope of Being So Loved and she rises to it, undiminished, boldly human and not needing to be any more than that to stand shoulder to shoulder with this profoundly alien personified time abyss who ushered in the end of all things to see her smile again. One smile. I'm breathless!!

I love that they're so different and there's such a massive disparity between how others perceive them, between the powers afforded them, yet they're also so similar and complementary and equal. They're both caretakers who tend to be bossy and controlling in part as an expression of that caretaking, they're both quite self-absorbed egoists who are capable of absolutely staggering selflessness, they're both idealists who refuse to give up, and they have the same sense of humour. There's a genuine intimacy and unspoken simpatico I think is unmatched by any other relationship the Doctor has ever had.

Each of them wrote and became a fairy tale for the other. Clara threw herself into his timeline and became The Impossible Girl, shattering herself into every fragment of his life to rescue him from being physically destroyed. Then she rescues him from being emotionally destroyed by stepping in to stop him using the Moment. Then she secures him a new set of regenerations. Clara is hope, she is his guardian angel. She became a story and then when she again stays to help him after he regenerates, they break down all the façades and idolisations between them and strip down to bare humanity. I talked about how her idealisation of the Doctor was broken down over series 8 in the post linked above, but he goes through the same thing with her. Their connection is tested and purified and rebuilt, always being reaffirmed, always growing stronger.

On the simplest level, they just adore each other. They can't stay apart because that affinity they share is irresistible; they're never bored if they're together and they work perfectly as a team. What makes it so special to me is that it's both this stupid simple mundane thing of they delight in one another's company like real people and it's this operatic epic of story and destiny and having woven themselves into each other's fate for all eternity. That's everything I want in a romance. I want the small and the big, Gothic drama and warm cosies. I want love which feels both transcendent and domestic.

Anyway, I'm kind of rambling but I love Magical/Mundane pairings, I love Immortal Fae Being/mortal angst, world-crossing, layers of identity, Sarcastic Aloof Super Genius with Heart of Gold/Vivacious Practical Person, Physically Powerful Man/Emotionally Powerful Woman, etc. They're ticking a lot of boxes.

And I love Twelve so much because a) Peter Capaldi is the only person to ever play the Doctor who played all the Doctors. He doesn't just feel like he's in continuity with the other regenerations where there are core traits that carry over, he feels like he tangibly still is all of them in this uncontrived and magical way. That he can contain all those aspects at once, that he's really the same man with the same interior landscape and actually lived all those lives, did all those things. He makes me believe it in a total, simple way I never quite have before. b) He and Tom Baker are the only two that, to me, genuinely felt alien and they both sometimes give me goosebumps because of that. They convey this point of view outside and beyond humanity which shouldn't even be possible for an actor to achieve, but which is necessary for the Doctor.

c) my many rants about forgiveness and compassion and how series 9 is the most profound, demanding, and uncompromising study of those themes in the last twenty years of anglo pop culture. Just absolutely unflinching idealism, all the more powerful and heroic because it's coming from such a deeply flawed character who has done truly horrific things himself. That Twelve can be so clearly worn down by darkness both within himself and out in the universe, be such a burdened melancholy character staggering under the weight of unspeakable guilt and terrible responsibility, yet be infused with so much childlike wonder and incorrigible curiosity, always excited to keep learning... always willing to hope.

Like I want to go on a whole side tangent about what a BRILLIANT cliffhanger Magician's Apprentice/Witch's Familiar is because the cliffhanger isn't about the plot or who will survive at all despite that being the ostensible stakes, it's about whether the Doctor will live up to his principles. And we know he's failed before. That's where the suspense is- vengeance and playing hero are temptations he's fallen to before. That the most brutally difficult mercy to give allowed for the possibility of victory is just...! Yes!!!

But also he's hilarious and grouchy, deeply profoundly kind and patient while also just having... zero time for people's nonsense (and people consist mostly of nonsense, so he doesn't have time for much). He will believe in and hope for the best from anyone, wants to save everyone, but he is almost exclusively irritated by social interaction. The dichotomy of his loving, compassionate embrace of all living things as infinitely valuable and his cloak of misanthropy is getting at something extremely poignant about the struggle to be an optimist in the real world.

And one of my favourite favourite things about Twelve is that the story doesn't just tell us he's brilliant and move along. We don't get only the normal outsider perspective of him seeming to know almost everything or pulling random quick fixes out of nowhere. We get to see his mind at work. Heaven Sent actually walks us through his genius and not only how he thinks, but how he makes it look effortless. It's just... one of the best character studies in the history of television. It's a masterclass on the Doctor: who he is, who he wants to be, and why he's such an infinitely wonderful, fascinating character.

And it's also a study of grief, of perseverance, of despair and hope. It is the most triumphant tragedy I've ever seen and everything about it is just so beautiful and so romantic. The Doctor breaking down and exhausted and wanting to give in, but roaring through Hell to keep living and keep striving in his cloak of tattered idealism because the flame of hope in his heart will never go out. It is majestic.

I love the Doctor because he's so full of contradictions while being such a vibrantly alive, resonant personality that we recognise as somehow 'real' or 'true', and no one incarnation encompasses a more vast range of these contradictions working in more perfect harmony than Twelve.

[vrishchikawrites]

You know (in some weird, messed up sense) JC stans really know what they're doing in their fics; For example: They have post LQR & LXC be really mean to WWX and LWJ is not there. So, where WWX goes to/ who comes to help? Their favourite grape of course! (Ofc as always in reconcillation the logic is out of the window but you get the point).Easy reconcillation fic idea. And if you look at it from other perspective;the only situation in which stans can see WWX turn to JC (his literal abuser) is (1)

(2) when his life becomes a total hell. It's a really dirty move but it works for their purposes. (It's also hilarious because in some sense they're acknowledging just how awful JC really is)

Yeah, their approach isn't surprising. In fact, I considered it so natural, I didn't even blink at first. It is quite common to give a well-loved protag a platonic ship or support.

That is the primary reason why people write reconciliation fics, I think. Yes, they wanna give JC what he wants but they also wanna give WWX a support system. Making JC the good guy and whitewashing his background is one of the best ways to do it.

Ngl, that was one of the reasons why I was ok with Jc-friendly fics. I have seen canon antagonists turn into fanfic protags before. I have loved them. Like I wrote Itachi/Naruto of all things. I read Aizen & Ichigo-friendship fics. I ship BakuDeku more than TodoDeku.

I can love assholes.

But fanon JC often comes with fanon WWX and that I cannot deal with because fanon WWX is some alien creature with deep-seated insecurities, low self-esteem, and sometimes he even has a subservient nature. In canon, WWX almost always leads. The bed is the one place he surrenders and he only allows LWJ that. And even there, he's usually getting what he wants.

So. That's where JC stans lost me. Otherwise they really do have a perfect trap. Because anyone who is less than comfortable with how LQR and LXC treated WWX in the end will naturally lean towards reconciliation with JC just to give WWX a support system outside of the Lans.

[pafsplayground]

@progeny-ex-machina Tumblr forgot to notify me of this so I'm very sorry if this is late but I went digging through my ao3 subscriptions and found a few of my favorites! So, without further ado,,,,

Paf's list of Among Us Fanfics you should totally go read right now

Cheating The Buddy System by Hertz: a really nice crewXcrew story, has a detailed and realistic description of choking and it's aftermath

colors by ellixtpage (orphan_account): has some pretty nice world building, stuff I haven't seen others do

Diary of a Bad Impostor by PaperJu: I like the formatting and it's story (and sequel!) are really nice

Diary of a Great Crew (and one Leader) by PaperJu: the aforementioned sequel, I just really liked this story, there are a couple more stories in the series and I recommend all of them

Friendly Fire by Hertz: a good impXimp, part of a five part series, enemies to friends to lovers, very funny imo

Ghost Ship by Pyroxenite: sadly never got past the 5th chapter, but a good story nonetheless

Impostor On Board by Hertz: surprise! Another Hertz story! I really like their stuff. Anyway this one is a good ol humans are space orcs style thing mixed with some cool alien culture stuff

Impostor Syndrome by TheAsexualofSpades: some platonic imp&crew with hurt/comfort and emotional damage, a real nice story

There's No Telling What You'll Find by Rawrpeep: jeez can you tell I like humans are space orcs? This one's got pranks, character development, aliens trying alcohol, conflict, all great stuff

Nine imposters among us by CreepyWaffleCO: This one had me on the edge of my seat after every chapter, so much variety with types of impostors, such fun character dynamics, and a great ending

On Foot I had to Cross the Solar System by JoyFriend: hasn't updated in a while sadly, but a very nice story. The second to last chapter had me so shook

Overrun by animatedrose: also hasn't updated in a while, but a very good story. Alternates between past and present, chalk full of tense moments

Planet of the Megafaunas (Revamp) by Haxorus: I actually read the first version of this, it was very good and I got excited when I saw the revamp cuz I was worried it was abandoned. I honestly can't find the right words, but trust me, it's good

The Docile Imposter by TheArtisticDragon: amnesia yay!!! Only has four chapters sadly, but what's there is nice

The Impostor Dilemma by BlackDragon41: an impostor struggling with morals! That's always fun. Probably abandoned, but a good story nonetheless

The Skeld Series by Elizabeth_Inkheart: a long story, very nice world building, seriously by the third story it's barely recognizable as Among Us it's so good go read it if you have a whole night free

Until We Part Ways by Supah: basically a stowaway decides to prank a crew until they no longer need to stay on the ship, very funny

aaaaaaand that's the list! I could probably find more, but these are just what I could find on my subscription list! Hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!!

Also if you'd be interested I wrote a couple stories myself, as mentioned in the OG post, "Don't Scare Me Like That" and Harboring an Impostor are my babies and I'm actively writing some sister stories to go with them!

[faakeid]

fab nygmobblepot moments that remind you of kd uwu

OMGGGG AHDAHDUIADHAD

I want to use this moment to be sorry to everyone that follows me but keeps seeing my blog full of Nygmobs/Smaylor instead of kaisoo. I usually don’t get attached to otps like this and it happened in an unexpected way for me. But it’s here and I need to compensate for all the years I didn’t watch Gotham and had no idea about Nygmobs spamming everyone and making my heart warm.

But in general, nygmobblepot isn’t a vision of ideal relationship. Both Edward and Oswald (their surnames Cobblepot and Nygma were the ones who originated this name) are stupid and do stupid shit to each other during most of the series. So, a lot of moments related with the actors counterpart (Robin is the actor who plays Oswald and Cory who plays Ed) reminds me of kaisoo more. But a warning here! Although they have a HUGE chemistry on and off screen, they’re mostly friends. Robin is married for almost ten years so it doesn’t mean their closeness is romantic or sexual. But still, some details remind me of kd.

Similarities with nygmobs:

Height difference: it applies to Smaylor as well because it’s their height but it’s really visible in the series. Cory is a bit taller than JI I think and Robin is like 1.65 but KS is not that taller (I can’t believe he’s 1.73 at all, sorry). But, again, this factor is evident during the series and in some moments and it’s cute.

(the way he moves his feet to reach Ed’s head ;_;)

(when they hug, Oswald barely reaches his shoulders [their hugs are the equivalent to kisses in Gotham])

the closest gif I could find where we can see kd’s height difference without me stealing other people’s gifs.

Penguin reference? That’s pretty obvious. Of course I didn’t start shipping nygmobs because one of them is small and has the Penguin nickname but it made so much easier for me to read some of their fics with kd as characters because they fit the profile so much! And also, I believe KD would totally fit the “murder husbands” couple if someone did a fanfic where they just kill everyone. The closest I remember of a fanfic with this criteria is Juice Pouche where Kyungsoo is a vampire and he protects Jongin and Jongin is kind of badass as well. But the kd fandom needs more fics like this. There’s also “(Before the night is over) come see me” where KS is also a vampire and JI a young werewolf but it focuses more on their relationship than a murder husbands idea Gotham shows so well. 

How they met: Gotham’s history has a lot of differences if you compare with other universes, so keep that in mind. In Gotham, Ed works with GCPD but doesn’t feel like himself with the good side. Oswald is the character that spices things up and is a rage of death and destruction and manipulation. But Oswald is infatuated with Jim Gordon (so isn’t the first time it’s implied Penguin is gay) but he goes to the police department to see him. Ed sees him and wants to talk to him no matter the cost. And he does that... And things don’t end that friendly for him because Oswald thinks he’s a weirdo and asks him to fuck off, basically. It reminded me of kd’s first meeting where KS was the one admiring JI all along but JI get frightned. But, during their second meeting, they bond and become friends. For Nygmobs it takes more time for their second meeting but they end up developing and being in good terms :’)

Their personas, sort of: Ed is the tall one, younger and logic. Oswald is the oldest, smaller and that thinks with his heart. I love how JI could show the more logic side of himself during the last few years and, again, while reading Nygmobs fics using kd names, it was easy to fit the profile for me (that was during the time I wasn’t too deep into nygmobs and I didn’t knok them that well. KS looks cold and deatached and that’s why many people got impressed when he said, during Knowing Bros that he would choose love over friendship. He doesn’t play the part but, considering all the context, it fits him pretty well and reading this description of Oswald made me so familiar because it fits KD well. Ofc I don’t know their private lives and whatever but it’s just the impression I had as a viewer and random person;

Drama issue: when I say drama here, it’s related with how people percieve the two OTPs and how different people visualize LGBT relationship in media. Nygmobblepot had a lot of drama involved because they’re the fucking Riddler and Penguin, two of the most famous Batman villains. People saw them in different sorts of media before and others idolize those characters because of videogames and comics. So, when Oswald mentioned expressedly that he was in love with Edward, it caused an uproar in the fandom. People accused the producers and Robin of messing with the comic canon because the fucking Penguin became gay??? Robin was outspoken about the homophobia behind those statements since he’s a gay man himself but yeah, the drama existed. Part of the people invovled with the series rooted for Nygmobblepot, including some writers and the actors (Cory was the one with ambiguous messages about the nature of their relationship but it’s not even close what happened with other series like Supergirl, Supernatural and Sherlock). But it was aired by FOX, a right wing channel and, as you may imagine, they didn’t become canon per se. Actually, after Oswald said he was in love with Ed and planned on confessing to him, the writers presented a clone of Ed’s ex girlfriend with no explanation and purpose, only to separate them for most part of the series future. After that, some people seemed to have FORGOTTEN Oswald was once in love with Edward, rationalizing many things that are hard to explain with a “bro explanation”, they had a scene where the characters would have evolved even more but it was CUTTED and CHANGED and execs added the sentence “we’re brothers” to make EXPLICIT that Nygmobblepot’s relationship wouldn’t be interpreted as a romance at the end of the series (but, honestly, the actors went for the romance path anyway, the deleted scenes and the final episode can’t convince me otherwise).

What’s related with KD, may you ask? I think you’re familiar with all the drama KD faced since 2016 and how many stuff exploded during that time. How many parts are involved into creating a certain image and shifting it to be appealing and “friendly” is similar with what happens with idols. It’s no secret now about many scandals of bullying and other issues that are considered problematic and how they need to be pushed under the rug for companies so idols can make money and be profitable. Especially for male idols, it’s important that they are viewed as desirable and an object of the fans affections. That’s why he needs to be handsome and kind and look like a person that doesn’t exist. If an idol is openly gay, this person isn’t viewed by the major public with the same interest because they can’t fit the fantasy. That’s why scandals involving idols being gay need to be forgotten and deleted from people’s minds, otherwise that celebrity is ostracized. Although we tend to see the Ocident as “progressive”, there’s similar things happening in that industry. If a celebrity is openly LGBT, they don’t receive certain roles or opportunities because of it. There’s still a huge stigma that needs to be broken and we, as a society, are so far way from it. But recognizing those differences exist it’s a step forward.

Similarities with Smaylor

For me, one of the reasons Nygmobblepot works so well is because of the actors. They portrait a good chemistry because of their friendship off screen and some non verbal signs they display around each other are amazing. Those are things that remind me more of KD as we see them in a lot of moments. So, I wanted space to show those comparisons below:

Mutual admiration: it’s something both Smaylor and KD display a LOT and is extrememly outspoken. I really love watching their old interviews because the affection and admiration is so genuine it makes me drawn to them despite not being romantically involved.

(full gifset)

(there are more moments than these but I don’t want to steal gifs and there’s not much on the gif research and that sucks. Same with KD’s).

Stares and touches: Robin was the responsible for the deep stares and Cory for the random touches. There’s so many gifs of it that is hilarious. It’s like JI divided himself in two cells because we know he’s more known for both >.<

(Cory was touching Robin all the way during this interview rip)

(the gifset!!!)

You’re pretty moment: Robin, like KS, is the one that mentions about Cory/JI’s physical attributes. They have a moment pretty similar and, for KD its famous among shippers:

(gif link)

(actually, Robin called Cory dashingly handsome but its okay)

Cory lost it

There’s another series of gifsets with Robin calling Cory handsome LMAOO

:))))

Synchronization: for specialists in body language, it’s a factor that shows two people are close. That’s because of the mirror neurons we have that makes us copy movements, actions or words that someone we have empathy/we are close with do or say. Both kd and smaylor do this and it’s really soft.

(one of the classics)

(classic 2)

whole gifset (i love this interview so much)

(gif)

The fact the actors came up with their OTP names: people tend to forget that KD’s real otp name (according with Jongin) is dika. Cory also came up with Nygmobblepot name and Smaylor too <3

So, meanwhile Nygmobs has thropies that work a lot with KD AUs, Smaylor has healthy dynamics seen in public appearances KD made. Like I said above, there’s a huge polemic about shipping Smaylor romantically because Robin is married. On social media, is visible he loves his husband and it’s pretty cute to see. Cory himself mentioned that their relationship was sort of a platonic friendship (whatever that means) but it’s really genuine in terms of affections and display of admiration, something KD has as well.

Probably someone will question that it may changed the way I see KD or if now I ship them as bros. Nothing about that changed. With KD, although there are some similar details, there are internal AND external factors that made me support them in a romantic perspective in the first place. And it didn’t change. 

But both of them (Nygmobs too) make me feel that I’m testimoning something genuine, which is really hard in both kpop and media universes. In one side, we have a LOT of fanservice. And, in the other, it’s mostly a work interaction with lots of queerbating. Yes, Gotham has queerbating aspects in it but it’s not full of queerbating, if it makes sense. The message the actors and some writers wanted to convey are there and really display a romantic direction with character evolution and growth. And, considering the way media is nowadays, it’s nice to see.

[kedreeva]

I have a question on soulmate aus - do you feel the same way about platonic soulmates? They are very rare but I know some people make them platonic so it's more like the best friend in your life. I totally agree with you though - as an avid reader of soulmate aus, a good majority basically force their ship to be together. My favorite kind is definitely the color ones, or ones where they share scars

I do! If you reread the post I never once mentioned romance. I have additional problems with soulmate AUs in general, mainly the idea that everyone must have someone (or someones) that are "meant" for them because I personally feel it feeds into the ideas of a) being owed a connection whether you work for one or not, and b) people who cannot (or choose not to) make these bonds being somehow broken or at least incomplete or in the category of "you'll change your mind if you find the right person and give them a chance" which has, traditionally, been used against a lot of ace (and I believe a lot or aro) people to justify making their lives miserable instead of allowing them to exist in peace.

I don't think that sentiment is any better when it's platonic, because I have been encouraged (and seen others encouraged) to foster friendly relationships with people that they don't particularly like in order to give them "a fair chance" or because they have to be around each other, but like. I don't see any reason to give someone I don't like a fair chance. I'm not interested in the effort it takes to befriend someone I don't like, either in my real life or in my fiction, especially if they dislike me back. I see it sort of the way I see coffee, when people tell me "it's an acquired taste." Why would I bother to acquire a taste for something I don't like? I can see the appeal in fiction, if you like both the characters and you know it's going to work out, or if you find that type of antagonistic soulmates trope to be similar to enemies to lovers (which I like! But personally find to be completely different due to the element of choice), but it's just not for me.

And to be clear, I'm absolutely not saying that fiction = reality, or that anyone that reads soulmates stuff shouldn't do so or anything like that. These are my own personal hang ups about the trope that I am processing aloud in case they are sentiments which can help someone else who is uncomfortable but cannot pinpoint why.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

I hate to be an asshole, but I see this a lot and I'd like your take because while we have differing opinions on some things, your metas are spot on (and I binged half your stories last weekend, oops) and I know you'll be straight up with me on this. What "chemistry" between Zuko and Katara? I keep seeing that and not getting it? The chemistry when he roughed up her grandmother and threatened her village? The chemistry when he tied her to a tree and violated her boundaries? (1/3)

The chemistry when he hired a trained assassin to stalk her good friend and if collateral damage happened, oopsie? The chemistry when he stabbed her in the back after she was nice to him in the crystal catacombs? The chemistry when he demanded that she accept him? Or the chemistry when he showed he didn’t know her at all? The chemistry when both of them were grossed out being thought a couple? Or is it the chemistry when he saved her and Katara couldn’t wait to kiss another guy? (2/3)

I dislike r/eylo from Star Wars fandom. I think it sends the wrong message. But as much as I hate it, there was chemistry there from the first. Rey is attracted to him and Kylo is attracted to her. They don’t want to be, but they are and it plays out in the next two movies. There was none of that in ATLA and I can understand z/ks saying it but other people? What am I missing? Where am I not looking? I’m not even that huge on Katara/Aang but Zuko/Katara chemistry where? (3/3)

Obligatory disclaimer: this is my personal response to anon’s questions and my personal thoughts on Zvtara’s chemistry. I’m not going to put this into the main tags - much less the Zvtara tag! - because while I believe this is a genuine question, I don’t doubt there’s at least one person out there who will misconstrue it as “hate” because the A:TLA fandom is, uh, aggressive in its ship wars lol. However, if I have any Zvtara shippers following me, I encourage you to reblog this post with your own thoughts! Please refrain from sending your commentary on anon unless you’re going to be friendly about it, lol; I like to keep my blog positive and welcoming! Thank you :)

Firstly, I am EXTREMELY flattered that you enjoy my metas so much and binged half my fics!! I was grinning so gleefully as I read that part of your asks,, y’all are too sweet to me. 💛

Okay. Moving on.

So, the main question here seems to be this: What chemistry exists between Zuko and Katara in A:TLA?

Short answer? None, in my opinion.

Longer answer? For all the reasons you outline in your asks, I do not perceive any romantic chemistry between Zuko and Katara within the series run of A:TLA. Note the qualifiers: “romantic” and “within the series run.” I’ll try to break down what I mean!

“no romantic chemistry”

For one, a romantic interest with anyone in the Gaang would have undermined Zuko’s entire redemption arc, full stop. Yes, I mean anyone. For Zuko to have joined the Gaang because of romantic interest* would have been… counterproductive. Zuko joined the Gaang because he realized - to put it very simply - that the Fire Nation was wrong. He realized how he’d been indoctrinated since birth. He realized that he could help the Avatar (instead of trying to, uh, kill him lmao) by teaching him firebending. He realized he could help Aang defeat the Fire Lord and bring peace to the four nations. Zuko realized he could help end the war. He could help break the cycles of violence and abuse that had in part made his own life so miserable. For him to join the Gaang because of romantic interest? Completely takes away from all of that. A key theme of A:TLA is dismantling imperialist power, propaganda, rhetoric, etc. Zuko’s decision to fight against Fire Nation imperialism is crucial to his redemption. He could not have been redeemed without making that choice. Thus, if Zuko had joined the Gaang because of romantic interest, it would have been completely counteractive to his redemption.

(*That is, the relatively popular [? I think?] implication that Zuko and Katara’s moment in “The Crossroads of Destiny” was romantic-coded and thus Zuko should have joined the Gaang at the end of Book 2 because he had romantic interest in Katara and she in him. I genuinely am clueless how people interpret that moment as romantic - like to me it’s honestly heartbreaking! Katara offers Zuko tentative sympathy only for him to stab her in the back minutes later - so if someone would like to share some thoughts, please feel free to do so!!)

On a similar note, for Zuko to take the lightning for Katara at the end of the series because of romantic interest would also undermine his redemption arc. Please note: this does not mean Zvtara shippers cannot interpret the Agni Kai as being romantic-coded. Of course they can! That’s what fanon is for! Transformative works! But in terms of canon, Zuko did not try (and fail, rip) to redirect Azula’s lightning because he was romantically interested in Katara. (I mean, in terms of canon, Zuko and Katara were both romantically interested in other people, too, so… Moot point, lol? But I digress.)

Zuko taking the lightning is about him learning to earn forgiveness and accept unconditional love from his family (both Iroh and the Gaang). It is a selfless act, and it directly parallels Zuko’s selfish act in “The Crossroads of Destiny” to stand silently while Azula strikes Aang with lightning, thus becoming complicit in Aang’s death. The point of his “sacrifice” is that Zuko would have taken the lightning for anyone (and don’t get me wrong - the moment is doubly powerful with Katara, as she’s a primary protagonist!). Zuko did not attempt but fail to redirect the lightning because it was Katara he was protecting; he took it because it was the right thing to do. Zuko has learned to differentiate between “right and wrong” on his own. To at last put others before himself. To make his decision about romantic interest? To make Zuko’s most selfless act in the series (not to mention one of his only 100% selfless acts!) about out-of-the-blue “romantic love”? That not only lessens the impact of his decision, but it is also reductive to Zuko’s entire character and arc. There’s no romantic chemistry there.

Again, of course, fanon exists for purposes such as interpreting Zuko’s failed misdirection of the lightning to protect Katara as romantic. Go wild!! I’m talking strictly about canon.

So that pretty much summarizes why romantic interest with anyone in the Gaang would have been detrimental to Zuko’s redemption, hence why Zuko doesn’t have any canon romantic chemistry in the Gaang. It just ain’t there! It would have screwed over his arc! And again, because of all the reasons you outline, I cannot comfortably interpret any romantic chemistry between Zuko and Katara within the series run of A:TLA. Personally, romantic Zvtara would have been too sudden, too unexpected, and too… well, as I said: uncomfortable. Why would Katara have romantic interest in a guy who’d hurt her so many times? Who she’d only just forgiven? Why would Zuko have romantic interest in Katara, a girl he barely knew for most of the series? Especially when he already had feelings for a childhood friend? I, personally, just don’t get it.

But. You know what Zuko and Katara do have in canon?

A phenomenal platonic bond.

It develops very late, admittedly; Katara has only forgiven Zuko for the last five episodes of the series (5 out of 61… Katara was only on good terms with Zuko for 8% of the series, lmao). But Zuko and Katara are very, very similar personality-wise, so it follows that (eventually) they’d be great friends! Yeah, Zuko acts like an entitled dick for a good portion of “The Southern Raiders” lmao, but he ultimately respects Katara’s decision to spare Yon Rha (love that scene so much 🤧). Katara recognizes that Zuko is trying his best (if sometimes falling short) to redeem himself and earn the Gaang’s trust, and she also understands how - while she is completely justified in her anger! - holding that hatred close to her chest isn’t good for her. So she offers him a third chance (and honestly, Zuko should be forever grateful for that lmao!).

So what can a strong platonic bond lead to? Well, if it’s in your taste, a romantic relationship!

“within the series run”

As aforementioned, I don’t see any romantic chemistry between Zuko and Katara within the series run of A:TLA. I think Zuko has hurt Katara in too many ways - and again, she has only just forgiven him by the end of the show - for there to realistically have been any blossoming romance between them. I think romantic interest for anyone in the Gaang would undermine Zuko’s redemption. I also think M@iko and K@taang are well-implemented romances into A:TLA, so romantic Zvtara would not have fit into the narrative. (Doesn’t mean someone has to ship them!! I just mean they made logical sense and had narrative purpose within canon. That’s all.) But again, Zuko and Katara have a great platonic bond. So while I don’t see romance within the series run, I can understand why people might be attracted to Zvtara in post-canon!

Post-A:TLA (disregarding LOK, which I haven’t even seen lol) Zvtara has some solid potential. I’m personally intrigued by the idea of how they’d navigate their relationship amidst all the politics! Basically, any relationship with a strong platonic bond can have potential for “more.” That’s why people ship T@ang, that’s why people ship Zvkaang, Zvkka, M@ilee, etc. So while Zvtara may not have romantic chemistry within the show - in my opinion! - they’ve got one of my favorite platonic bonds, so I can totally get people wanting to explore that bond in post-A:TLA and possibly translating it to romance.

So for some people, then, it might be less about “chemistry” in A:TLA itself, but more how their relationship could grow and change after the end of the series!

Quick sidebar: I mentioned that while I do not interpret the final Agni Kai as romantic, I’m fine when other people do. It’s fanon! Ain’t no big thing! But also, Katara has forgiven Zuko by that point. I, personally, am not comfortable with reading any of Zuko and Katara’s TSR-and-earlier interactions as romantic because of the imbalanced power dynamic. Example: I don’t think Zuko tying Katara to a tree and manipulating her with her mother’s necklace was romantic, and I don’t like the resulting implications when people do treat it as such. Zuko was still so indoctrinated by Fire Nation propaganda… Yeah, from Book 1 to about halfway through Book 3, I personally don’t feel comfortable shipping Zuko with anyone outside of the Fire Nation. Pre-redemption Zuko was not the most fun person to be around if you were non-Fire Nation.

But as I’ve said, these are all just my opinions! Again, if I have any Zvtara shippers following me, please feel free to reblog with your own thoughts! I would love to know where the idea comes from that Zvtara had chemistry within A:TLA, since I personally don’t see any romantic vibes (though platonic chemistry, of course, abounds.)

(For the record, I don’t know anything about Star Wars, which is why I haven’t brought up R.eylo, lol.)

TL;DR - To me, there isn’t any canon romantic chemistry for Zvtara. Narratively, I think it would undermine Zuko’s arc. Logically, because of how Zuko treated Katara for 92% of the series, I personally cannot interpret any of their interactions as romantic. But their platonic bond? Beautiful!! Thus, if people want to explore post-A:TLA, fanon Zvtara, I am all for it.

[word-addict-lisette]

Dear Lisette,

I am back in you inbox, yay! How was your day? How's life? How's school?

I am really mad because we had this piece of work and it was like "pen down your idea on this statement, 'i can do whatever i want on the internet as long as i don't get caught' and i put down my thoughts which were 'this statement is true, i stand by it and you can do whatever you like as long as you don't get caught and don't own up' and then people were like throwing shade at me and i looked at it. I have 5 comments.

My teachers tried to delete it, my classmates literally lectured me and then she read it out loud and the whole class went looking for that one note i made. In the comments, people are spelling my name in caps. It was my opinion, and oh, look all of them are basically hypocrites. Let me just say, these people make me uncomfortable, they don't talk about exactly nice things or approriate things and they are all commenting ( without names too may i add) like "KAT, THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK!" but with my real name and just arghhh.

Also if my teachers wanted me to say, "no, that isn't the right thing to do," or any other answer that the others provided them with, they shouldn't have asked for my opinion. They should have just forced us all to just type the same thing. The other people all wrote like, "no, its unethical and bad" or "False, no, its bad" and stuff like that, filmsy evidence and elaboration. I HAVE MORALS, i am just saying the truth. I feel like the victim of a hate crime. People don't like me enough already, i am a very intresting person, uh, yeah, we are gonna stop there.

Enjoy the rant i guess? I don't know? I am sorry for loading on you but there's a little extra rant so uh, yeah. im just gonna take this out, one sec.

Ok, so uh my teacher was like, next week, we are making pancakes. Fluffy pancakes. It was changed to pancakes without eggs? and now we have to make it ourselves, at home. Where do i get flour? What do i do with the extra flour? I don't know how to cook at all, my partner who has been extremely controlling and like kinda driving me insane, ( ahem i did the whole coursework) also she uses my friend's name for everything? Like, bestie i was literally helping out and you went all, "Oh you don't want (friend's name) to see you burnt right?". Obviously i don't but if i burnt down my house, she wouldn't be surprised. I BURNT MYSELF LAST YEAR, SHE SAW ME BURN MYSELF. Well, my friend burnt me and then the week after that, she burnt herself.

This happens a lot. Also, the very common questions and statements of, "Are you straight?" , "aren't you and (friend's name) dating?", "you guys would make such a cute couple" , " aren't you bi?" and "i thought the two of you were dating," there is nothing wrong with being bi but i am not attracted to her like that. So, they use her for leverage over me to get me to do what they want and also think im dating her? If we were dating, we would both be homeless. I like my house. This doesn't only happen with her. I once got shipped with my brother. I hugged him and some guy was like, "oh you guys like each other," that was awkward. Can i just add, a lot of people like majority of that community know we are siblings.

I also get shipped with his best friend, thanks to a rumor my brother made up. So, sometimes, i would get like comments like, "oh, you like him" or "(brother's name) told me that you and (brother's best friend) are dating," we are not dating. WE ARE JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. I LIKE A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. LEAVE ME ALONE. Also, everytime i have a picture of a guy on my phone or something my cousin just has to tell my brother. THEY ARE STREAMERS. ONE IS OF V FROM BTS SO I CAN TRAMATISE MY FRIEND.

Everytime i cry, someone comes in my room. It is so annoying. LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANT TO CRY. This is why i started reading sad books, listening to sad songs, watching sad movies so i have a reason to cry. There was this once, i wasnt selected to be part of my choir's competition and i was sad about it because i didn't feel good enough. THEY SAID I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. So, i cried but it wasn't enough so i read the saddest book i could find so i had a reason to cry but by that time, my feelings were gone. This is why i get breakdowns when im overwhelmed because of all this. You know how old i am. I have to deal with this and the pressure of always wanting to be perfect. What else can i do? I am not pretty or smart or talented or have friends, i have like 6 friends and nobody ever keeps me company. So, i focus on being perfect. 100%, i deal with not having any attention because my parents didn't pay me any attention just because i was "independent" or something?

Did i mention, i babysit all my siblings? I am the second child. I baby-sit my older brother. I am sleep-deprived because i can't sleep well at night and i constantly worry about everything and i have to take care of all my friends and it is so exhausting. Yet, i can not cry.

Thanks for staying with me through whatever that was. Uh, yeah, i took the quiz and got chaotic academia. That is my aesthetic. I really want one of those fancy skirts they wear like on pintrest and stuff? Like you know what i mean? The academia skirt? Yeah, i don't have one yet.

Question of the day, what is your dream profession or you could answer my other question which is what would you want to look like? Or you could answer both?

Ok, thank you again. i am gonna go study. Love and hugs and just literal joy sent your way!

- Kat, the ultimate dino mom of Leo, Billy Bob, Jessica, Sophie, Jackson, Sarah, Lily, the Micheals and all her other kids. (Jessica, Sophie and Jackson are mailboxes and Lily is a computer, Micheal is my screwdriver and laptop pencil, there are two micheals.)

Dear Kat,

It's really good to see you in my inbox. I'm sorry for replying late, but exams really had occupied my schedule today and I got my Saturday exam tomorrow. This week is going to be stressful and today's day has been pathetic. I had nothing to do except study and write exams. I feel like I haven't really been social recently and That I'm losing touch with people that I used to be close with and basically I'm letting overthinking take over my mind.

That is so sick. Why is someone's genuine opinion bothering them so much? I totally wouldn't be able to tolerate that. They ought to understand that there is a fine line between a fact and an opinion, and what you stated was just an OPINION. they have no right whatsoever to come at you like that. I totally agree... the teachers ought to have not asked for your opinion if all they desired was a particularly specific answer which opposed the statement. one of the reasons I hate the schooling system has to be THIS. people who are putting comments like that ought to realize that what you stated is exactly what they do in real life. They just want to be seen as the good kid here. At least you have the guts enough to speak the truth.

Miss! You don't have to worry about ranting out to me. You can rant to me for days and I'd still listen. Just go on ranting nobody is stopping you.

Ahhh! I've had that happen to me. I really understand how tough that can be. I really really hate being shipped with someone who I am just platonically friends with like you've got no valid proof to believe that we are romantically involved with each other. I've burnt myself plenty of times too. It's not a pleasant experience. Plus I also hate having controlling partners. Cause all they do is boss you around while they are barely doing a thing. It sucks.

Why? Just why? Why does it even matter to them? Who you date and what your sexuality is, is none of their business. I have no idea why people concern themselves with topics that really don't involve them. It's like people are just ready to make gossip out of anything. A person can't have a bestie without not liking them? I don't get what's so difficult to understand about that. I hate it when I'm casually talking to a guy and people start shipping us and start spreading rumors of us being in a romantic relationship. Another thing they do is, if a person likes me, they automatically assume that I like him back when I've barely even ever spoken to that guy. And yes! I like fictional characters! Don't even assume I like any of you fools cause You idiots bully me and ship me with total crackheads... And my standards are good enough for me to not include you guys in my list of *appropriate candidates* which consists of non-existent people.

Similarly, the moment I'm chatting with some guy, or like have a pic with someone on my mobile phone people just assume that fact that I'm crushing on him. Like no! I don't. We are friends... the others are celebrities, Why can't you understand that? I can't imagine how thick their skull must be considering they can't let a small statement like that sink in.

The crying thingy... I feel personally attacked. Nobody lets me do anything in peace, let alone crying. I literally use the washroom in my room and even my sister comes in there just banging on the door asking me to get the heck out of there and go somewhere else, like can't she use the other two washrooms or what? I like listening to sad stuff and reading angst cause somehow or the other it calms me down... it makes me feel at peace cause I know I'm not the only one who feels like crying. I've got a lot of friends, nobody remembers my birthday, I remember all of theirs'. They don't even text me, It's always me who takes the first step. All my friends just want me by their side cause I'm a smartass they want to show off as a trophy and cause I've got much better sarcasm than them. They just want to benefit from me. That's all. GOD, I'm not pretty at all. I look like a random idiot all the time. I look pathetic. And I lack talent... And you! I warned you, miss! You are pretty, beautiful, talented, smart, friendly, caring, kind and THE BEST!!!

I've never been given attention. Never ever. My sister has always stolen the spotlight. And I hate it. Not even my friends acknowledge me, my parents just ehhhhh. No matter how good I score, No matter how good I behave, No matter what. I'm just never good enough. My parents think of me as a rebellious kid. And I don't know what to do about that. All I've ever done is listen to them. My parents never allowed me to go out and play with my friends when I was a kid, they never let me go on overnight trips, and they barely let me spend time with the few friends I have. They never let me go to outings my school friends planned. Despite that, I never complained. I never had good friends because of that, yet I never complained. A lot of kids my age roam around in shopping malls by themselves, have sleepovers, spend money, roam around with tons of makeup on their faces, are in relationships, and even get into illegal shit. I've never done anything Like that. And yet... I'm never the good kid. I'm still the rebel.

I've got to take care of my sister almost every day. Get her to study, study myself, take care of myself while tolerating my grandmother. I really don't like my grandma, she s very fussy and just keeps yelling around the house the moment my dad and mom leave the house. I've got sensory overload because of her voice. And now I sit and have an anxiety attack almost every time she speaks. I've always got to strive for perfection as well. And I too can't sleep well at night just cause all the worries of the world, keep weighing me down.

Chaotic academia sounds good. It's the same aesthetic my sister got when I asked her to take the test! And oooh! Me too! I love those skirts and outfits they show on Pinterest. I'd love to have them someday.

My dream profession has to be that of a writer. Or perhaps even running a library. just something cozy. Ohh! I'd love to have brown hair, and I'd want to be tall just a little shorter than What I am right now. I just reached my father's height yesterday. And more or less, I'd like the rest to stay just as it is. and perhaps a lighter shade of skin tone. What about you though?

My question for you! If you were to be stranded on a beach island for a week. Who would you bring with you and how would you spend your time there. You can include whatever elements of nature you want to include like forests, lakes, and all.

Sending love, warmth, hugs, and whatever I have to spare that you would like to you!!!!

-Love from Lisette

P.S. That's an interesting family you've got, right there!

[electracraft]

I agree that G+D friendship is probably not in danger, but I feel like recently even on Tumblr dnf fans became far more unhinged. Like, after the recent stream I've seen multiple posts with "Not even joking, I think Dream is sexually attracted to George" and "There's obviously something non-platonic brewing between them". That's not problematic per se, but it feels weird that people want D+G to be gay for each other so much that they read clearly friendly situations as "proof" :\

well first of all i would like to say that shipping on tumblr is different from shipping on twitter or where they might see it. i’ve probably said stuff like this before but it’s cause i know that they won’t read it, unless they look for it. 

and in general shipping isn’t about finding “proof” that they’re actually in love, cause it’s none of our business. i just look at their interactions and read them in a romantic lens, for my own entertainment, but none of this means “i know that this is the truth and they are in love”. it’s just shipping. i’m not interested at all in uncovering the truth of their relationship. not only would that cross a line but it’s also not possible, we obviously don’t know them, and if anyone thinks they do they need to step back from the parasocialness of it all.

that being said, it’s totally fine if shipping makes you uncomfortable! or if some aspects of shipping do! personally i don’t like straight up thorough analyses of their interactions, so i don’t interact with that. the great thing about tumblr is that you can block whoever and whatever you want!

(also this is just about shipping on tumblr because it’s the only one i know and it’s also what you mentioned, but idk about other platforms)

[pluviophile-bookworm]

I feel like I need to talk about this...

I’m very open about being aroace. At least here on Tumblr I am. (Outside of Tumblr, I am technically out, but some issues with my mother and grandmother have forced me back into the closet. I felt miserable about that initially, but I’m learning to be fine with it.) But it wasn’t always this way. In fact, I didn’t even know what aroace meant until I was 18. So how was I supposed to know when I got my first ‘celebrity crush’ that those last words do not, in fact, describe very accurately what I was experiencing? I didn’t know I had ADHD, either. I feel like that might have helped me realise some things about my experience. But let me go back a bit and actually tell you what happened and how it happened. [side note: I’ll be starting from a bit earlier than the ‘crush’ thing happened because I feel like it’s important for whoever reads this to understand how my circumstances shaped the experience I had]

Backstory:

I had always been different from my peers, so it was not surprising to anyone that I was bullied in middle school. [side note: Judging from my and my little brother’s combined experience, I feel like bullying is, quite unfortunately, something of a universal experience in middle school - in my day, I was on the receiving end. This last school year, my brother was the bully. Gosh, I wish I could tell my story without many deviations and without crying as I type, but I’ve already thrown both of those intentions out the window.]

So anyway, things got so bad that I was driven to suicidal thoughts. One night I was just lying in bed, thinking about going through with it, but I was like, well, I’ve got a test in the morning. Maybe after that. 13-year-old me had very weird priorities. I kind of still value my work over my mental health, but I’m working on it. So that night, I didn’t do anything. The next day, right before school, I was on the internet and I found out a new show had premiered. And then, as I was watching the pilot episode, that was when it happened. I saw this boy, whom I will not be naming, and I listened to him sing. I felt nothing much at the moment, but I couldn’t get the song out of my mind all day. Up until that moment, I had had a weird attitude towards music where I’d only listen to female singers. My ‘boys have cooties’ phase, I guess you could say. But this one, he was the first one I didn’t mind at all. In fact, I felt like I could listen to his voice 24/7. I’ve had that feeling hundreds of times by now, but I hadn’t before then. So I figured, this must be what a crush means, right? This must be what all my peers are talking about. The next day, I confided in a girl from my class with whom I was kind of friendly (though not actual friends, I’d say). I asked her if she’d seen the show, if she knew this person. She said yes and we kind of gushed about the song together, and I felt normal for a couple of minutes. I never knew the difference between my experience and what is considered ‘normal’ until years later.

For the time being, the thought of this special person was what was keeping me alive. I started having visions of him walking with me through the school hallways or sitting next to me on the bus home from school. I knew perfectly well those visions weren’t real, but they made me feel better. Happy. Safe. Seen. Full disclosure: I still have such visions, I’ve had them with different people through the years as my hyperfixations change. My latest one is what has enabled me to deal with some of my worst phobias (and I have a long list of them). I’ve never told anybody what it is, and I won’t be telling because I feel like if I do tell, the vision will not be strong enough to work against my fears. But I’m getting sidetracked again. Sorry for that.

So, I was pretty much obsessed with this guy. He was all I could think about, he was keeping me alive through what was possibly the toughest time in my life to date. So naturally, thanks to my heteronormative, amatonormative surroundings, I was convinced I had a crush on him. In fact, after this experience had lasted about a year, I was sure I was in love. 

Then things changed. I started high school. I found a couple of friends, and the people in my class in general made me feel like I could finally be myself. Be open about what I thought and how I felt. So by the end of the first semester, all 27 people in my class knew about my feelings for this guy. What I didn’t know was that they didn’t know that it wasn’t exactly like I was describing it. Because I wasn’t aware that a straight/ allo person’s idea of being ‘in love’ was different from mine. I was just putting things in words I thought I understood. 

So it came as a total surprise when some people from my class started teasing me about it. It wasn’t malicious teasing, that much I could tell. I had been bullied mercilessly before. What my new classmates were doing was asking genuine questions in a slightly teasing manner. For example, it would be known that my special person had a girlfriend, and so they’d ask me ‘aren’t you jealous’ or ‘do you wish you were that’, or stuff like that. And those questions felt so weird. So stupid. I thought, wait, why would I be jealous? Why would I feel bad about this person who has made me so happy, being happy himself? Why would I want to date him? That had nothing to do with how I felt. I told my classmates so. They gave me weird looks in response. So I started feeling like there was something wrong with me. Like I wasn’t doing that ‘in love’ thing right. Suddenly, I felt like my feelings were being intruded upon. Tarnished, somehow. I had always been aware that my visions were anything but real. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. And all of a sudden, somebody was suggesting that I should want to date this person. Why would I want to date anyone, I thought? Even if it was him. Dating people was awkward. Making physical contact with anyone outside my immediate family made me shudder. It still does, though I can hug some of my closest friends without any negative feelings. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Back to my first time I questioned my experience. I was about 14 at the time (in Bulgaria, high school starts from grade 8, ages 13-14 or 14-15), and, well, I didn’t do much questioning at the time. I just told myself that they didn’t understand my feelings, and I stopped being so open about the topic. 

My hyperfixation on this person lasted long. Longer than any other I’ve ever had to date. Maybe it was because I clung to it like it was what tethered me to my mortal life. But by my final year of high school, I could feel it fading away. I was forcing myself to think about this person, to conjure up the old visions; the song that had started it all was drained of all meaning that it had held for me. I was moving on to other hyperfixations. I felt like I was betraying myself, like I was breaking some sort of unbreakable vow. It was time to face the music. So I let go. I allowed myself to move on. It was kind of made easier by the fact that my special person had changed, too, and had moved on to projects that I could not enjoy due to some triggering content. And I moved on.

Then I joined Tumblr. I discovered some things. Among them was Hellenic polytheism. It had been a while since I’d found my faith in the Hellenic pantheon, but Tumblr was where I found out I was not alone, that there was an existent religion. And step by step, I realised that... I had been projecting Apollo’s presence onto my special person. And my old connection to that person had started fading away when I had realised I believed in the gods.

This explained a lot of things. But there was still the fact that I had never been able to look at another person the way my peers were looking at each other. I had been asked out two or three times during high school. I had rejected those people without even thinking about it. My best friend at the time was a boy and most teachers seemed to ship us together because, well, let’s be real - we were constantly fighting like an old married couple. It took him getting a girlfriend and seeing how happy I was for the two of them for everyone to realise that things between us were, and had always been, purely platonic. And now I was going to uni and I had never had feelings I was apparently supposed to have. 

It was also thanks to Tumblr that I discovered the extent of the LGBTQ+ community. I considered myself an ally at first, and I was a passionate ally, too. I still am nothing but supportive to my fellow LGBTQ+ people of all identities, but it was not until I was 18 going on 19 that I discovered the term ‘asexual’. I knew quite suddenly that this was the term for me. I knew what I was and how I felt. I felt mature enough to know the difference between ‘I’m not experienced enough to know for sure’ and ‘I’ve just never had those feelings, I don’t even know what they’re supposed to be like’. It took a bit longer to find out there was a difference between sexual and romantic attraction, but by the time I was 19, I had proudly labelled myself ‘aroace’. I still feel at home with this label. I am completely open to the possibility that it might change with time, but this is what feels right at this time. 

Fast-forward another couple of years to about 8 months ago. I had always known that I got really invested into stuff - shows, books, hobbies, people - only for that investment to wear off after a time. The timespans varied, but I realised I had experienced this ever since I was in pre-school at least. I didn’t have a term for it, though. And then, all of a sudden, Tumblr started offering me posts tagged ADHD. I could relate to maybe 95% of them. At one point, it felt like whatever algorithm this hellsite operates on was shoving the ADHD posts in my face, as if screaming ‘DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF, WELL, YOU?!!!’ in my ears. So I did some tests. I did a lot of self-reflection. I went to a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed in March. I started educating myself on the terminology and found out that what I was experiencing is called hyperfixating. So here I am now.

Here I am now, reflecting back on my experience from 8 years ago, connecting the dots. Realising what it was that I went through, allowing myself to go through it again, with different things and people. I don’t feel the need to cling to hyperfixations anymore because I know that is what they are and I know I can’t keep them forever. Of course, I do feel bad about stopping caring about something that used to be my light and life for a time. I dread the time I’ll get over my current hyperfixation, but I also know it’s inevitable. My ADHD brain needs the change and it happens naturally. And somehow I’m ok with that.

Well, this is it. This is the story of how Tumblr prompted me to discover aspects of myself that have been there for as long as I can remember. What better place to talk about it than Tumblr itself? What better group of people to understand and accept me than my lovely mutuals and followers? If you’re reading this, thank you. For being here, for listening to me, for allowing me to be who I am. You’ve got no idea how happy this makes me, even though I can barely see what I’m typing through the tears. Thank you. 

[goblinconceivable]

Still puffs of wind

Part 2 of me looking at Hooked Queen in season 7.  Relatively happy with where I got so far, so a little course correct, mopping up and going a bit fanon/shippy eyes.  Also I made a huge error, I admit my embarrassment to the world and it makes me less embarrassed.

Still referring to Wish!Hook as Rogers.

I screwed up badly by being careless and imposing my own reading, and I hate when I do that.  In the family-reunites scene after Gothel is defeated, Alice is staring at Rogers, and he’s looking at her.  She CAN’T run and hug him, end the enforced distance contrasts with all the inter-hugging that happens through the rest of the scene.  More importantly for my purposes, Robin is looking at him too, for the entirety of that shot.  She turns and comforts Alice in the next, but we’re still looking at a tentative continuation of a family unit comprised of Alice/Robin/Rogers we started when Robin asked for his blessing and happy hugging immediately commenced, and just formalized when the three joined hands.

More damaging to my case is that Tiana totally went to speak to Rogers, and I believe was holding his hand for a moment.  It���s very background, which is why I missed it the first (um, few) times until I looked for it.  It’s validation that the extended family unit in the Enchanted Forest was a real thing, and that means: inclusionary.  It’s a payoff for the few Rogers/Tiana moments we got under the curse, because curse-relationships are weirdly close to the uncursed-relationships, so we can assume they really are friends.  It also supports an unrequited crush interpretation*, because Rogers approaches Tiana, which isn’t so much his MO.  See later point.

Net result: in this scene his inclusion outweighs exclusion. 

I do still think it’s notable that Henry and Regina and Ella and Lucy end up ignoring him.  Scene-wise, it makes sense.  It’s a blocking disaster to have anyone running over there, and core nuclear family runs to each other first.  Yes they could have had Rogers still standing, but I think it WAS a stronger choice to have him physically removed, to remind us that he’s not alright, and that his curse isn’t just separating him from his daughter but from everyone.  

Hyper-focused on finding his daughter, he is barely capable of forming relationships with anyone else.  And we get to see this emotional distancing manifested!  On a gurney, he literally cannot approach anyone, he observes from afar.  

This contrasts heavily with Regina, who’d the most huggy of all.  She’s with Henry, she greets Robin, and then the scene finishes with Regina/Lucy.  We’re left with three couples in relationships, plus Regina/Lucy.  Rogers and Rumple remain odd ducks, only Rumple’s on a quest and has left.  So they’ve tidily avoided setting Regina and Rogers together.  Which... was a major theme.  Keeping them apart.  Was it a creator’s choice in order to avoid shipping?  Did they not think they could write them in scenes and maintain a platonic friendship?  Did they just not think it was important to show?  

In a show about family, and a Regina who’s heart is open wide enough to mentor a random girl she meets (Drizella), why avoid giving her an interesting relationship with the reboot of a character that a) can play against the relationship she had with the original, b) who has a history with her That We’ve Seen and c) she’s known for 10 years and has massive screen time and development so it’s not like “Tiana’s a secondary character we can limit her interactions because of that.”

It’s that enforced disinterest that provides the negative space for speculation and fanon.  But it’s frustrating.  I don’t know what to do with it.  I’m left wondering if a huge sense of the Rogers!exclusion isn’t just down to Regina.  Who plot-wise was scattered but was the heart of the season.  What would be different if she’d checked in on him, how he was getting on with Tilly?  If he’d continued meeting Henry in the bar and she had to balance playing along with them while running a bigger picture?

(I sort of forgot about Lucy.  Does she even HAVE a scene with Rogers?  Lucy is, like Henry in the first 6 seasons, the glue of the family.   She is open love.  She and Tiana are tight in cursed-world.  But Rogers is practically an uncle, he’s known her since she was born.  And nada.)

Which feeds in to a/the reading that his failure to join the table with Charming et al is his own sense of exclusion rather than anything else.  Charming extending his hand isn’t an outreach on behalf of the family, it’s standard fare for the family, and Rogers hasn’t considered it an option.  Having been rebuffed by Regina and Henry probably didn’t help though.  But looking at that again narratively: it wasn’t personal on Henry’s part, in fact he knows Rogers well enough to know he needs to defy him, and respects him enough to believe that he COULD have stopped him.

And now, our technically non-canon scene hinting at the crown.  Which is inclusionary, which means progress.  The open hand remains open on the part of the family, and Rogers has accepted.  Our Alice/Robin/Rogers unit is tight, and his friendship with Henry remains quite strong.  I mean, Henry literally stops his mad rush to confirm with Rogers that he got the thing.  It’s important that Rogers knows, just so that he knows.  Satisfying his investment in the process, and cementing him as one of the ones who are not just aware of the event, but are at the heart of creating this moment -for Regina-.

Which, to sidetrack, is both beautiful and weird.  It was an election, did Regina even know she was running?  All indication was that everything happened behind the scenes and all the Realms just sort of quietly agreed they wanted her and then, SURPRISE!  What would have happened if she didn’t want the gig?  Being part of a council is quite different than “Hi you get to run it all now.”  I mean, she dropped being mayor to live in a forest 

I guess the only thing left is to finally land squarely on Rogers/Regina.  Which...  still doesn’t fall out of canon for me, even including the crown moment.  It does add flavouring for Rogers to be invested not just in the event everyone is pulling together for, but for Regina personally.  Ie, there’s something special about that crown, some special connection to Regina?  Which she doesn’t mention and isn’t mentioned, so it’s very obscure for the uber!fan or the whole quest for it makes no sense and that’s why the scene was cut?

But his interest in Regina for her sake is new.  Generally we saw her reaching out to him - when he was watching Henry/Ella/Baby!Lucy, when he was attacked by his heart when seeing Alice for the first time, when she told him to reach out to Tilly.  With his curse broken, now he can accept and give love more generally, so at the very least we get an extension and deeping of whatever baseline we ascribe to their previous reationship.

And while I’m all about plationic male/female relationships, the best way for the writers to do that is to have GIVEN them a platonic relationship.  In the relative void we have open-ended potential, where happily neither has been pining for the other, because that’s just sad.  But where Regina’s efforts and support can be reciprocated and love birthed from that.  Which is where I’m at, and probably where I end, for meta, the rest is fanfiction ~!

*The possible/probable crush Rogers had on Tiana doesn’t bother me because it counts as a safe space.  She was firmly placed with someone else in canon, and it’s natural to gravitate to someone gentle and friendly, especially when you’re socially inept.  So really what it says about him is he does want to reach out and part of him does want a more intimate relationship, but he wouldn’t with Regina because she’s intimidating.  Complete matriarch.  You can’t crush on her, you lowkey love her and don’t notice until it could be a thing.

[solaciummeae]

{ Laws of the Land: }

Please read these before interacting. (:

My blog is PRIVATE. Typically I prefer to write with MUTUALS ONLY but I am currently open to NEW INTERACTIONS. I usually write && talk with someone OOC for a while BEFORE FOLLOWING to make sure we vibe.

I’m HIGHLY SELECTIVE with PARTNERS/FOLLOWS. I’m trying maintain a cleaner dash this time around. sidenote: When choosing partners: Literacy is a thing. I understand typos but basic spelling and grammar are easier to manage than trying to mentally fix things as I go. I DO understand language barriers. But BOTTOM LINE: If I can’t understand what just happened in your post, I can’t reply adequately because I have nothing to go from. I also prefer people who are dedicated and interested in writing detailed plots. Moving the story along.

By stating that I am PRIVATE: I reserve the right to work on the things that speak to me the most at any given time. I’ve had a lot of stress this year && this is a coping thing for me. I will write what I have MUSE for. Typically I will NOT start something unless I know I have MUSE for it to avoid dropping THREADS && INTERACTIONS. I’m simply focusing on things that I have the most juice for. sidenote: This means that while I have a ridiculous number MUSES && VERSES, I’ll be sticking pretty close to my MOST ACTIVE LIST unless we have heavily established PLOTS && CONNECTIONS OR I have explicitly offered to give you a MUSE OR VERSE that is NOT on the MOST ACTIVE LIST. I post this list regularly, it’s easy to find on my blog.

My blog is currently on LOW ACTIVITY temporarily. There are a lot of things going on in my life right now. I am trying to be on as much as possible. However, I won’t be here 24/7, nor am I obligated to THREAD/POST/TALK all the time. It is not personal. I was just diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis && have existing severe mental illness. Some days just suck.

IMPORTANT: I have roughly 230 muses, 40+ verses, my blog is ALWAYS under construction. These projects are my passion, that’s why I have them. Don’t be a jerk and tell me maybe I should cut back. I operate how I operate.

My writing is PG-13 to Mature. It’s not always this way but violence, explicit language, substance use, etc. happen here. NSFW of all kinds. I’m 28 and will only write with adult partners. So 18+ only on this blog. IMPORTANT: I will NOT write SMUT with others. It may happen occasionally in drabbles I write. But not in threads. I don’t mind sexual references, headcanons, jokes, etc. But no threading with NSFW language. Fade to black for me.

The length of my writing tends to fluctuate. Para to multi-para mostly. You do NOT have to match me because sometimes I might not completely match you. Just how it is.  Sidenote: Do NOT give me one or two sentences if I gave you a solid paragraph. It makes it really difficult to adequately reply. I might write a one liner starter, but it will ALWAYS grow.

On the topic of ORIGINAL VERSES && MY POST SERIES FANDOM VERSES: I welcome anyone to take part in my ORIGINAL VERSES or my POST SERIES FANDOM VERSES. PLEASE DO, that’s why I created them. However, do NOT steal my verses or post series for your plots. I work extremely hard to WORLD BUILD and develop these complex plotlines. DO NOT STEAL THEM && certainly DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THEM. I do not mind if you and another person involved in that verse or post series with me write for the verse or plot but do NOT just openly steal them && start writing them with other people I don’t even know. I work my ass off for this stuff. Don’t be gross.

GRAPHICS IN THREADS: I use ICONS &&GIF ICONS. They keep it cleaner looking && more accessible. IMPORTANT: I have a very large number of UNDERUSED FACECLAIMS. For this reason, DRY POSTING WILL BE A THING. I’m working to make resources, but it takes time. IMPORTANT: I AM HERE FOR THE WRITING NOT THE GRAPHICS. I should already know what your muse looks like if I’ve seen a picture and likewise, you can find pictures of mine. NOTE: If my muse has no resources, I will post a pre-designed icon of them at the beginning of the thread so you know what they look like. After which it will be dry threading.

I would hope that you would have ideas of your own. It works much better if we can feed off of each other and really go back and forth with plots than things being one sided. Sadly, this has happened to me a lot. Sidenote: We don’t have to come up with something first but it would be nice if there was an idea. However, I won’t ever turn away an intriguing starter with no back story. Though, I might ask questions to make my reply as accurate as possible.

DO NOT GODMOD. I should be the only one controlling my character. I really hate when people assume they know my character and get them all wrong. Or even insinuate some prior history I never agreed to. Sounds ridiculous? It’s happened. If there’s a time it’s needed, shoot me an IM. I’m totally good with that.

I’m EXTREMELY SELECTIVE when it comes to ROMANTIC SHIPPING. I’ve been burned way too many times. My muses are my babies. If they aren’t feeling it. I am not going to force it on them. You can find ALL of my MUSES romantic preferences on my MUSE DIRECTORIES including if they’re romantic shippable or not. I have several who are CLOSED. Chemisty. Chemistry. Chemistry.

IMPORTANT: I AM NOT HERE JUST TO ROMANTIC SHIP. I’m tired of only ever heterosexual romantic shipping– especially with my MALES. Come to me with bromance, familial, platonic, or enemy. I’m always looking for new connections to my muses. It helps them grow as people.

IMPORTANT: I heavily prefer LGBT+ romantic ships at this point especially as a queer writer myself. I’m real over the heteronormativity. If you come to me with a queer pairing I’m far more likely try it out.

IMPORTANT: Please give my FEMALES as much attention as you give my MALES. I’ve tried closing my MALES. I still get used for them. Especially to romantic ship. Treat my FEMALES the way you’d want yours to be treated. I’m always down for F/F interactions so we both win. I truly love female muses, I simply wanna get to use mine too.

Drama is pretty much a must, in the sense of the plot. I’ve had people tell me they don’t like it and that’s fine but without things happening, the story doesn’t really progress.  IMPORTANT: However! NO DRAMA OOC. I worked with middle school kids for half a decade so my bullshit meter is super low. No OOC drama. No HATE.   I DO have the following TRIGGERS: incest, rape, sexual assault of any kind, romanticizing the devil. 

The first three are self explanatory. However the fourth has become really common with shows like Lucifer in existence. For personal reasons, treating the devil like he’s a cool guy is really triggering for me. I understand that his character from Supernatural is very popular. However, romanticizing him, making him seem like he’s “not actually a bad guy.” like he’s just “misunderstood.” or even “falling in love with the devil.” I can’t handle. If you’re writing him as a villain or enemy that’s perfectly fine. It’s really just the threads and content that romanticizes him that really really triggers me. 

I’m asking that these things be tagged: tw: incest, tw: rape, tw: sexual assault, tw: devil friendly.

NOTE: If I ever post anything you need tagged with a trigger that I haven’t, please don’t hesitate to ask. If it makes you uncomfortable I don’t want you to have to see it. Typically I don’t post traditionally triggering content. But just in case, let me know.

Last but certainly not least, I’M HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS. Seriously. I want to get to know you OOC. You guys are my friends and I care about you very much. I love chatting. Likewise, I can make a great soundboard. If you need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate. You guys are so important to me. I’ve been on Tumblr roleplaying for about five years. But I’ve been roleplaying for about 13 years total. And some of my closest friends have come from writing with others.

These have been updated as of 10/08/19. I tried to make them more streamline and I really do appreciate you reading them. It makes writing together easier. If I find out you didn’t read them before interacting I will be less inclined to write with you. I read all rules before I follow someone or write with them so I expect the same courtesy. They are here for a reason.

Thank you!

💜💜💜💜💜

[moniwaskaname]

bsd rarepair week day four: second chances ship: platonic!naomi x lucy (tanizaki naomi x lucy maud montgomery) read on ao3

Lucy Maud Montgomery was a distrustful person. When people approached her with a smile on their faces she always thought about the possible hidden intentions that person could have, and she was proven right about ninety percent of the time. Ever since she was in the orphanage or in the Guild, people had prove to her to be very shitty.

Her perception of people had changed a little bit since the Guild was destroyed, since she was accepted in the coffee shop and the manager and his wife genuinely cared for her, but it was still hard for her to see people smiling at her and not being defensive.

It had been a couple weeks since the Agency was victorious in their fight against the Decay of Angels, and their name was clean again. The members went frequently to the coffee shop, as usual, but there was one member that started going more than usual.

Lucy recognized her, obviously. She was not only one of the most attractive girls she had ever seen but she had also been someone she had captured and used as hostage for the Guild. She hoped she would never had to talk to her ever again, same thing with her brother or the blond kid with the hat. But she started going to the coffee shop everyday, and ordering tea with strawberry cheesecake. The gorgeous girl would smile at her and thank her, and it made Lucy want to die. She was so pretty, and gracious… it made her blush with just a look. But at the same time, it pained her since she still felt guilty about what she did.

That evening, she was cleaning some cups behind the counter when the door of the shop opened, and the smiling face of Tanizaki Naomi appeared behind it. Lucy felt already the heat on her face as she shrugged and wanted to hide behind the counter. Naomi was alone, no sight of the orange-haired boy—thank God.

Lucy tried to ignore her, but Naomi was the only person besides her in the coffee shop in those moments. The black-haired girl wasted no time, and sat in the counter, right in front of Lucy with a smile on her face.

“Good evening!” Naomi said cheerfully, with her elbows on the counter, looking at Lucy with a friendly face.

Lucy couldn’t help but feel warry, to be on the defensive.

“Good… Good evening” she said, looking at her back, trying to be cold, to put a wall between them. Naomi didn’t seem to care, and simply stared at her until it was embarrassing for Lucy “So… the same as yesterday?” she asked, trying to end the uncomfortable silence.

Naomi nodded “Yes, please. But can you… like, take a piece of cheesecake for yourself and eat with me?”

“What?” Lucy asked, confused.

“What? It’s not like there is some else to attend, right?”  Naomi asked too, but confused on why Lucy was confused.

“That’s not… I mean… why would you want to eat with me? What do you want? I have nothing to offer” Lucy started to babble, way too defensive. The other girl simply stared at her, no smile on her face but a hint of curiosity.

“Why wouldn't I? It’s thanks to you that the president is alive, and that the Agency is safe… that makes us friends, right?” she explained, tiddling her head to the side.

Lucy opened her mouth to reply, but was taken back when she realized what Naomi’s words meant. She was actually loss of words, so she closed her mouth and stayed quiet for a while, trying to find a meaning in her words. Naomi was still looking at her curiously, at the pink blush on her cheeks and how she started to make the tea and prepare the cheesecake.

She could feel Naomi’s eyes following her, but her brain was working way too fast to do something about it. How could she consider them friends? Lucy had never had any friends, the closest thing before was Alcott, who even thought she was kind to her, only wanted her because of her ability and barely spoke to her. And now it was Atsushi, but it was complicated.

“I don’t… I mean… I hurt you before” Lucy said, in a lower voice than usual. She never thought she was rectifying her past actions when she helped the Agency with the Cannibalism thing, or when she put herself in danger to prove the Agency’s innocence. She always thought she was returning a favor.

Naomi smiled again, putting one hand over Lucy’s and squeezed it gently.

“But that’s in the past! You also had no choice, and it all ended okay in the end” the black-haired girl insisted “It’s totally forgotten, and I don’t really want anything from you. I just really want to be your friend, is that such a bad a thing?”

“No, no, it’s just…” Lucy was confused. She pretty much liked what Naomi was saying, but it was still hard to believe. Lucy put the tea and the piece of strawberry cheesecake in front of the other girl “I’ve never had a friend before” she admitted, looking at her hands playing with the folds of her dress. It was embarrassing to admit it.

Naomi gasped, in disbelief “You don’t have to be alone anymore then. I’ll be right here” she said cheerfully again.

Still with some mixed feelings, Lucy ended up nodding slightly, making Naomi smile.

The rest of the evening, Lucy spended it with Naomi. It was pretty much Naomi talking about the members of the Agency and her brother, but Lucy liked to hear her talk, it was lively and her voice was pretty nice, so she didn’t mind listening to her talking for hours. They even shared the piece of cheesecake.

Until it was late, more customer arrived and they both had other stuff to do. But Lucy felt wholesome.

“See you tomorrow” Naomi said, before giving her a tight hug.

Lucy waved her hand shyly, and when Naomi disappeared, she allowed herself to let out a sight.

She never thought she was deserving of a second chance, much less coming from someone she had hurt in the past, but even thought she still believed she wasn’t deserving, she took that chance for good.