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#i shit you not i posted this without tags and checked later like wtf where's my one hearter i feel betrayal
azerishi · 2 years
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Peter: *drinks all of the coffee meant for Tony, surprise hugs him and at the same time gives him a heart attack, and blows 2 of Tony's labs all in the span of one (1) afternoon*
Harley: How do you cry when your sandwich falls apart, but then be able to do this with no fear?
Tony, fighting off a forming headache: I've already fallen apart so it’s too late for him to cry about it.
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I posted 7,471 times in 2022
That's 683 more posts than 2021!
65 posts created (1%)
7,406 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@trainwreckgenerator
@dingdongyouarewrong
@whofeelsifall
@ikuharaisabitch
@leftpanty
I tagged 2,052 of my posts in 2022
#ofmd - 325 posts
#insp - 207 posts
#hannibal - 117 posts
#reference - 110 posts
#show me your kitties - 76 posts
#tma - 63 posts
#amazing - 59 posts
#i'm wheezing - 53 posts
#one piece - 52 posts
#black sails - 51 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#hesus in their next scene nozue literally calls him kind like wtf i am gonna be thinking about this synopsis for the next 5-8 working days
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I really need to watch xena and her wife the series
14 notes - Posted July 4, 2022
#4
episode 2 is the best one and you can't change my mind about it
while i do love scenes from other episodes, i think that 2 as a whole is simply perfect and i wanna gush about it
mirroring episode one, we start with Togawa's morning routine. I love the contrast of Nozue's beautiful breakfast eaten in basically office clothing to Togawa chugging cold milk when he's barely out of shower.
also lmao he's drinking while looking at yesterday's photos, he's THIRSTY do you GET IT ok one flaw is the bit-too-loud gulping sound effect, but i am a particular hater of sounds of eating so it's very subjective
Nozue is already being less passive about his life, he openly wants to a better person, to be more fair to other AND to keep Togawa in his life. He still has ways to go but he's starting to act without being dragged into it first. Love that.
Also we get the first Jealous Togawa of the episode and i already love his suffering. I could watch him slap himself with that pen for hours and i would still laugh.
the cafeteria scene! THE CAFETERIA SCENE
we still get all the anti-aging excuses, but they are all interchanged with expressions of genuine affection. Ngl every time they say smth about wanting the other to enjoy life i melt.
Togawa's cute laugh!! Overall this episode he's emoting a lot more than in the previous one (where still you could clearly see when his proffessional mask is slipping), he's getting comfortable showing Nozue his real self ❤
Nozue makes Togawa shy and speechless with compliments!!!! twice!!!!!!!!!!! Ngl i need more of flirty confident Nozue, time it is such a treat every time. Let the 'old man' be horny got dammit.
"You're not wearing the three piece suit anymore. I liked it on you" fuck yes the flirting coming through
overall i like how it's always a little bit of push and pull in their banter, it's just both of them trying to make the other get flustered and when it works they try to out-fluster the other in retaliation. Fuck yes.
tereruna tereruna teretemasen tereteru tereteNAIdesu TERETERU TERETEMASENDESU
in the queue- heck yeah Nozue can get little a jealous too, as a treat (for me)
Also i only skimmed through the manga, but i think that a lot of this scene was originally Nozue's inner dialouge and i like that it was said out loud here, a bit more vulnerability and acknowledgement of affection, beautiful
when the waitress is taking their photo and Nozue is holding that spoon, hhhhh i relate too much, i love his awkward ass. he's more confident but still gets anxious hhhh i love acting
MONTAGE!!!! literally tooth rotting fluff because they are eating so much sweets
again Togawa's looking at the pictures, this time at work, babe i know you're in love but be more careful pls
ok but seriously bestie is the fucking worst at not being suspicious around other coworkers, and he's somehow even more obvious in later episodes
Nozue Wears The 3 Piece, holy shit satan works hard but Togawa's gay agenda works harder
im quite sure the restaurant Togawa's checking out is the same from the last scene in episode 5, so in a beautiful parallel, they got there in the end :,)
what do you mean if he becomes less passive he's gonna hang out with people who aren't me?????????
time for projection and headcanon time, but i like to think that Togawa's jealousy and bitterness in this episode is because he thinks the lunch breaks are the best he will ever get and is now feeling stupid for 'not expecting' Nozue to replace him with someone less bothersome, someone more normal the first chance he gets. And the fact it's a bunch of women is definitely a salt in the wound. i def see Togawa as still struggling with self worth, and though he "loves himself a 100 times more now", self loathing always finds a way to come back and bite your ass. and your close one's ass. not in the fun way.
angrily flips pages
angrily sips coffee (it says 'bitter' on the cup and yep, he sure is)
aaaand now he feels stupid because of course Nozue went out to the 'harem lunch' just to ask about new restaurants to take Togawa's jelly butt to, he loves you back goddammittt
again just!!! them telling each other how much they enjoy each other's company and wanting to make future plans!!!!!!! aaaaa!!!!!!
of course Nozue thinks the sour face was about the client, my king stop looking down on yourself your crown is falling
the close close close proximity when taking the candy owo???
Nozue getting annoyed Togawa doesn't get all flustered when it's the receptionist calling him hot- my man it's not about the compliment, it's about you who said it!!! but good fucking luck he's still oblivious for now because we get the most beautiful and honestly kinda shitty impression of a cute girl, Nozue i love you but you are not meant to be a voice actor.
See the full post
14 notes - Posted October 17, 2022
#3
My egg on egg Utena tattoo
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[i tweaked the contrast a bit so it's more visible]
You can't tell by the photo, but it is placed over where an ovary should be. That is because:
1) it's an utena tattoo, seems fitting
2) in polish egg is jajko/jajo, and ovary is jajnik, so it's 'jajko wielkości jajka na jajniku' (egg the size of an egg over my egg-thing). I like puns.
44 notes - Posted May 23, 2022
#2
My favourite things about Cats Chorzów 2022 non-replica in no particular order
Munkustrap and Macavity have a sword fight with fish skeletons. a sword-fish fight if you will
Deut asking Gus to "play Rumpus Cat again" like he's a kid asking for his favorite bedtime story (so adorable)
honestly everything about Gus
Mungojerrie is Trans
i think Bustopher and Jenny are supposed to be a couple and they were really cute???
everything about the costumes
but seriously, i am really a fan of the unnatural colours- Bomba is magenta, Jemima has violet accents, many cats have bright blue or red stripes, it just works very well
Tugger is a bisexual disaster
how when everyone is on stage you can tell the choreography is designed so no one accidentally kicks other dancers because the stage is really kinda small
my friends simping for Victoria
during the ball Skimble just hangs out on the balcony looking bored and kinda annoyed, we joked it's because he's the designated driver
the Mirror Prop tm
Misto getting a fanboy/second boyfriend (i am not sure what's his name, possibly Dyzio)
Jenny sleeping on a giant pillow
Munk and the Gumbie Trio lifting one side of the pillow so Jenny is YEETED onto the floor
cats kneeling and doing mexican wave bows as Griz is going to the layer
might make a part 2
63 notes - Posted July 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
don't get me wrong, i want to Aziraphale and Crowley kiss onscreen for many selfish, fruity reasons, but also because if i have to keep seeing comments saying how good omens is queerbait or not good rep it is gonna be my joker origin story
103 notes - Posted March 25, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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Special Guest
Previous chapter ^^^
Chapter 5 - Notifications
Jack Grealish x female character
Ellie completely pushed the wedding to the back of her mind, it had been 3 days and Jack hadn't messaged at all, she assumed he must have realised how unimportant she was, but it's ok she was fine with it.
She had just got home from work when she received a notification on of a tag on her Instagram from Jack, she rolled her eyes at the notification, "make your damn mind up!" She said out loud, she placed her bag on the granite counter and sat down to open instagram, it was a post by the photographers who were at Kalvins wedding, Ellie smiled as she saw pictures of the bride and groom, then her and Jessica, Jessica and Jamie, then finally an image she completely forgot had been taken, a picture of her and Jack, Ellie was looking at the camera totally unaware of what Jack was doing, only now could she see the look on his face, he was looking at Ellie with pure admiration, this confused her even more.
"3 days, its been 3 days, no message, no call, only a heart and coffee emoji on my post and now this, wtf Jess! I'm good at putting shit to the back of my mind but how can I when he can't decide what he wants?, I hope he doesn't think I'm a booty call!, or is he shy?, ah! My brain hurts with all this" Ellie ranted on to Jessica, "you done?" Jessica asked, clearly hearing quite enough of her ramblings, "yeah, sorry, what can I do?", Ellie really needed help from her best friend, "exactly what I told you the other day, DM him!, He doesn't rely then fine you will know, if he replies then your in girl", Ellie had to admit her impulsive best friend did make sense, just this one time, "ok il message him now, il call you later".
With that Ellie ended the call and opened Instagram, she sat staring at the screen, clicking on Jack's profile picture, when she saw  his face all the memories of the wedding came back to her, she blushed at the thought of his hands all over her again.
She quickly snapped herself back to normality, her priorities was what to put in the message, it had to be simple, nothing too needy but more than a simple 'hi'.
She typed out 20 different messages before finally clicking send, finally deciding on ...
@Ellowe25 - Hey, you ok?, Thank you for the tag, the pictures are beautiful 😍
There, it was done, Ellie pushed her phone into the middle of the kitchen island and headed upstairs to get ready for the gym.
She removed most of her makeup, changed her clothes and put her hair in a high pony tail.
Once she was ready she walked back into the kitchen and grabbed her phone, noticing she had a reply from Jack. She tried to not let herself get too exited but her heart began to race faster than she could stop it.
She picked up the phone and opened the notification...
@Jackgrealish - Princess Ellie!, I'm good beautiful how are you?
I'm really sorry I haven't messaged, I know this is going to sound like absolute shit but Iv been trying to get my head around stuff x.
Ellie rolled her eyes at his reply, he was right it did seem like shit but she accepted his answers and decided to be friendly with him.
@Ellowe25- I'm good thanks, just heading out to the gym, are you back in Birmingham now?
It's fine Jack honestly, I didn't expect anything after the wedding, we live two completely different lives, and understandably you have a lot on, it's not as easy for you to have any sort of relationship. X
She meant what she said to him, she fully expected this to happen and was prepared to deal with it, she shoved her phone in her pocket and got in her car.
When she pulled up at the gym she had two notifications from Jack...
@Jackgrealish - the gym at 7pm, loving the commitment babe.
Yeah I'm back in Birmingham now.
Thank you, I don't want to dismiss what we have because despite everything going on with work and been in the public eye etc, there was something with us and it feels better now we're back in touch, do you agree? X
@Jackgrealish - wouldn't be a gym session without a selfie? Remind me what I'm missing? 😉 x
Ellie laughed at the footballers forwardness, this boy just didn't care, 'two can play that game Grealish' she thought, she headed for the changing rooms and found the long mirrors, she stood in the mirror and readjusted the 'girls' for the perfect 'you wish you had this' photo.
@Ellowe25- of course, your lack of communication shows you need a reminder 😉 But yes it does feel better talking to you again 😘 what are you doing? Does it require a selfie? X
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She clicked send and began her work out, 90 minutes later she had finished, she headed back to the locker rooms to shower and change, not before checking her phone.
@Jackgrealish - wow! Ellie 😍 you look amazing
Really wishing I was with you now.
I'm just chilling at home, all alone but you can have a selfie Ellie, just ask 😉 x
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Ellie smiled at his reply but still didn't want to get serious before anything even started.
@Ellowe25 - hot stuff Grealish 🥰
Let's just keep talking and see where it goes, no pressure ok?.
Anyway I'm headed to the shower now and unfortunately for you, that doesn't require a selfie, text my number in like 40 minutes, il be home then x
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kickin-with-dixon · 4 years
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Dreams Into Reality
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Rick x Reader, Rosita, Maggie, Daryl 
Prompt 100: “So I had this really vivid dream….” 
Word Count: 1892
Warnings: NSFW 18+ , Language, Teasing 
PART 2 COMING TOMORROW! 
Masterlist | Tag Lists | Ask Me Anything | SPN Blog 
A gasp falls past your lips as you sit straight up in bed. The cool air sends chills over your body as it touches the layer of sweat that broke out in your sleep. “What the hell?” You pant, “What?” The confusion of what your dream consisted of fogged everything else in your brain. Good luck getting through today. 
You pull your shirt and jeans on, lace up your boots, and head downstairs. Rosita’s sitting at the bar finishing off the apple in her hand,” You okay?” She asks with a head tilt, “I heard you talking to yourself this morning. Did something happen?” 
Rounding the island in the middle of the kitchen, you shake your head, “I uh… no. I couldn’t find one of my boots is all.” Oh yeah , real convincing, you mentally kick yourself, glad your back is to her. 
She raises her brow, not quite buying it, but she doesn’t really care enough to press any further. “Oh, okay. whatever .”  
You look around the kitchen, “Hey, are there any of those apples left?”
“In the basket.” She says pointing towards the sink. 
“Thanks,” you grab one and head for the door. She raises her hand and mumbles something as she walks off in the other direction. The sun hits your skin as you step out onto the porch, and you sigh, grateful for a beautiful day after the rain you’ve had. 
Just as you take a bite of your apple, Rick comes strolling by. He smiles up to you waving, “Mornin’ Y/N.” You just about choke on the piece of apple at the sight, and have to fight the onslaught of images from your dream that are replaying. That damn smirk. He was so cocky in the dream. Holy hell. Today’s gonna be fun. You do your best to stifle the heat flooding to your cheeks and the one settling in your core, offering a simple wave back. 
As soon as he’s gone, you take a hesitant step off the porch and head over to your post at the lookout out front. It’s a quiet morning, not much activity. After about an hour, someone climbs up the ladder to the platform, “Hey! How’s it looking today?”, the familiar drawl of Rick’s voice triggering new thoughts. Echoes of the filthy things he’d said start floating around in your head. There’s an internal battle happening. You absolutely don’t want to make any sort of eye contact right now, but that’d be a dead giveaway, and he’d ask you what’s wrong. 
Finally, you look up to see Rick’s crystal blue eyes trained on you. Oh shit bad idea. Bad idea. “Uh.. pretty quiet. Only seen one walker.” 
“Good,” he smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder,”Let me know if that changes.” Your breath hitches as you think about the feel of his rough, calloused hands against your bare skin. 
Later in the afternoon, there’s a meeting about the upcoming run in the morning. Rick’s making it impossible to focus on any of it. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he knows and is messing with you. He keeps stealing glances, and god the way he looks at you. As much as you try to fight it, you can’t help but to squirm under his gaze, a rosy tinge staining your cheeks. 
Maggie starts picking up on it, watching you more closely. “Alright so it’s settled,” the clap of Rick’s hands snapping you back to reality, “Daryl, Abraham, and Sasha will head in from the East, Y/N and I from the West.” Your eyes go so wide they probably look like they’re about to pop straight out of your head, and Maggie caught every bit of it. You’d been so out of it, you weren’t aware that was the arrangement being discussed. How the hell am I supposed to be trapped in a car with him for hours?!
 While you’re walking back to your house from the meeting, and hand grabs your arm, yanking you between two of the other homes on the block. “Maggie! What the hell!?” 
She leans in, “Yeah exactly, what the hell?!”
“Excuse me?” You say, trying to play innocent.
 Her eyes scan your face, and then land right on your eyes. They could damn sure see straight into your soul, “Oh I saw the way you were acting in there. Did something happen between you and Rick?” She’s not really angry about there potentially being something going on, but rather that you haven’t told her. She quickly became like a sister to you after you’d joined the group. You tell each other everything. 
You look to the ground, kicking a stray rock around by your feet, “Uh… not exactly.” 
She shakes her head, “What does that mean?” 
Your cheeks flush for the fifteenth time, “So I had this really vivid dream…” 
“Oh, honey.” 
“Yea…. and I mean like really vivid and now I can’t look at him or be near him without thinking about it.” You admit. 
She sighs, “Well I mean I guess that would explain why you were so weird about going with him. You’ve ridden with him before so I didn’t understand why that was such a big deal.” 
You look at her with pleading eyes, “Maggie, how the hell am I supposed to do this?” 
She just shrugs, “I don’t know. But it’s not like you can go tell him no. Not now. Not unless you wanna tell him why you can’t be around him.” She starts laughing, “Sorry I can’t ride with you, I think about you-”. 
“Shut up.” You punch her in the arm, and walk away, leaving her still giggling in the alley. 
The next morning you head to the front gate where cars were being stocked and weapons checked. You bite your lip as the reality of what’s to come sets in. Rick comes up behind you, brushing his hand along your back as he steps towards the car, “You ready?” 
“Huh? Oh uh yea.” You look around at pretty much anyone but him, “Good to go.”  Real smooth, Y/N.
He smiles at you, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes, “Well alright then.” He raises his hand, moving it in a circular motion, “Let’s load up.” 
About fifteen minutes into the drive, Rick looks over at you, “Hey, you okay?” His voice conveys genuine concern, not just for the sake of his safety on the run, but for your well being. “You’ve been awful quiet since yesterday.” He rests his hand on your thigh, “Did somethin’ happen?” 
Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. “Um, Not. not really. I just. I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking.” 
“Oh yea? Anything I can help with?” Oh god, he did not just ask that. “I mean. I know I’m not Maggie, but I can do my best.” 
You look out the window desperately trying to hide the ever growing redness appearing on your face. After a second of regaining your composure, you finally speak up. “Thanks, but I already talked to her about it. Not much to do honestly.” You can feel his eyes on you, “It was just a strange dream.” 
Rick’s a smart man. He’s picked up on all your little moments. Truth is, he just likes to watch you try to hide it. “Alright. I get that. Should the need arise, I’m here”, he says rubbing your thigh lightly. 
The rest of the ride spent in mutual silence, each of you stealing glances at the other. The time for squirming, and nerves has passed when you turn the corner about two miles out from the target. Game faces have to be on. There’s no room for anything else. 
No casualties, no shit for once, just a successful run. “Meet y’all back home?” Daryl asks as he shuts the hatch on the SUV. 
Rick looks around, “Nah, saw a couple little places that I wanna check out.” You can’t help but give him the wtf are you talking about look. There was nothing out there. “Go ahead back, we’ll be back soon.” Daryl nods in agreement. 
Once they’re gone you turn to Rick with a boldness you’ve lacked in the past 24 hours, “What the hell are you talking about? There’s nothing out here, Rick.” 
“Oh, I know.” He has a smug look on his face when he turns back toward you. “I wanna talk more about this dream you had.” Fuck. “It’s got you really messed up, huh?” 
“ I wouldn’t say-” 
He shakes his head, “Y/N, please. I’ve noticed a lot over the last 24 hours,” He steps towards you, “You won’t look me in the eye, hell, you avoid me if you can.” He grabs your chin between his thumb and index finger forcing you to look at him, “Oh and this is my favorite. That nice shade of pink in your cheeks.” His eyes scan over your face, “Tell me, Y/N, was I in your dream?” 
Damn cocky asshole. There’s no use in lying, he’ll see right through it. “Yes.” 
He smirks, running his free hand over the back of your head, “Mhmm. I could see it the minute I saw you in the meeting. You wouldn’t look if I was looking at you, but oh when you thought I looked away, those eyes were begging me to fuck you.” Your breath catches as he backs you up against the van, “Is that what you were dreaming about?” 
His strong arms trap you against the warm metal, suddenly making you feel small. “I…mmm.”  A small escapes your lips as his travel along your neck. 
The scratch of his beard causes a delightful shiver to run down your spine , “Use your words, babygirl.” 
“Y-yes.” 
He pulls back, head tilted, “Yes, what? I wanna hear you say it.” 
 “Yes. I dreamed of you” His brow raises, and he stares you down, not satisfied with your answer, “fucking me.” 
That damn smirk spreads across his face once more, “There it is.” He shifts his weight, and places his hands on either side of your head. “Do you want that? Do you want me to fuck you?” 
“Yes,” Your voice barely above a whisper, “Please, Rick.” 
A low growl rips from his chest as his lips capture yours in a demanding kiss. There’s fire behind every movement. Has he been thinking about this too? As if he read your mind, he breaks the kiss, and spins you around so that your back is to him, “I’ve wanted this for so long. You don’t know how hard it’s been to watch you everyday not being able to do a damn thing about it.” Rough hands come up to cup your breasts as his lips and teeth drag over the sensitive skin of your neck. “God, it took everything in me not to take you right then in that meeting yesterday.” 
Gasps fall past your lips as his hips grind into yours, letting you feel just how bad he wants you. “Rick…” 
His finger runs over the soft flesh of your lips and he lets out a groan, “Oh sweetheart…” Breath fans over your ear, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sweeter sound than that.” His deft fingers make quick work of undoing your belt and jeans, “Get in the van.”
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PART 2 COMING TOMORROW! 
Masterlist | Tag Lists | Ask Me Anything | SPN Blog
Talk to me people! Let’s be friends! 
I love you all dearly! Til next time! 
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jidai · 3 years
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jidai’s budget mutuals/friends appreciation
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Hi, all! I’m quite late with this but I decided to put a small friends and mutual appreciations post in hopes of brightening up the end of this year a little bit. ❤️ If you were tagged, please make sure to check below for a small little message from me. However, I want to make it very clear that I truly appreciate all of my mutuals. You guys brighten up my dash and always reblog or create so many funny and creative posts. I just wanted to give a few special shout outs to those that have taken out the time to reach out and interacted with me past my ask box or we just see each other often.
The messages are ordered by your URL, so you might have to scroll for awhile before you see your messages. I’m so sorry lmao. 
Happy New Years, everyone!
@25th​​, Nonnie, the Young Genius. bro, remind me how old you are 🧍‍♀️ Like my brain CANNOT fathom the thought that you’re so skilled at SO many things and you’re not even in your twenties??? PLEASE SPARE THE TALENT. i will even accept crumbs. But I’m writing to tell you that you are such a wonderful presence on my dash. I always look forward to your gfx. They’re so SO good and you’re improving from one post to another. Like WOW. Now, you’re even starting an art blog, too? You’re so dedicated to the arts. I respect that a lot. Your hard work and commitment will bring you very far in life, whatever you decide to do. 
I love interacting with you. You’re such a big sweetheart and full of positivity and energy. I look forward to seeing more of your art and gfx ❤️
@biscuitwalk​, Dann, the AK Wiz. Dann, I know you’re not as active on here so idk when or if you will ever read this but I want to say that I miss you and your creations so, so much. I will say it a hundred times over and OVER but you inspire me so goddamn much. You have no fucking idea. Your works are absolutely gorgeous and unique. I can look at it once and I can instantly recognize your style (and your cute lil’ pufferfish <3). The way you utilize colors and implement various techniques, shapes, textures into your work. Goddamn, you’re so good. I always look to your work if I ever need inspiration and they help me brainstorm. God, I wish I could put it into words how much I adore your works.
We didn’t really talk for long but you seemed like such a kind and fun person to be around. I wish you the best in your future endeavors, wherever you are. Stay safe <3
@elriccs, Mirai, the Short King. 🧍‍♀️ ok look I know, I know I’m TERRIBLE at replying to you and I’m so fucking sorry. I absolutely love to talk to you but my dumbass cannot seem to reply in a timely manner LASELKSAL. That’s on me and I gotta do better. Anyways!!! Thank you SO fucking much for always leaving such kind messages on my work. I swear to god you’re one of my biggest hype man and I ALWAYS look forward to reading your tags. They’re so funny and it makes me all tingly and happy inside. Bro, like, you just radiate big fun vibes, bro. I really hope that I can get to know you better so I can just insult you until it’s too late to walk away </3
And of course, let me also remind you that I love your works so much. They way that you utilize your textures and those muted colors... OOMPH *chefs kiss* I will always love--
@lockhvrts​​, Em the Soulsborne GOD. hi em 🥺 it’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper conversation with you and I hope you’re doing okay! I miss you and our conversations where we do nothing but geek out and complain about the game industry lmao. if you manage to read this, I just wanted to let you know I miss your presence here. It’s been kinda dull not seeing your beautiful soulsborne gifs and your game rants. Let’s catch up soon. <3 stay safe and well!
@nathanprescutt, Benn, the Man. BENNNNNNNN.  I love you a lot bro. I know we haven’t had long conversations for some time and I hope I can change that! You were my first friend on this blog and I will always appreciate it. I remember us just geeking out over your works and how I would always send you a gfx request like once a week LMAO. The one thing that I have always appreciated about you was the fact that you’re very opinionated (if not, very vocal on your stance on things) and you hold your ground. There were a few time where you encouraged me to speak on topics that I think I shouldn’t and that stuck with me for quite awhile. I’m still a nervous rambling mess when it comes to debates but just know that the one time you supported me to voice my opinion--I hold it very dear to my heart. 
While I don’t spend much time together, I will always remember our animal crossing session. It was  so much fun just trashing and chilling on your island. Especially the bar :( that bar was fucking AMAZING. Maybe once FFXVI comes out, we can geek out hehe
Also, thank you so much for sending in photos of all your doggos, omg. I miss seeing them so much I hope they’re doing well. Stay hot, my German bro lol. Ich bin sehr dankbar, so eine tolle Freundin zu haben. ❤️❤️❤️
@noxdivina​, Lin the Big Dick Daddy Kind. The church is open for business bitch and I’m here to preach the GOSPEL.
Okay, jokes aside, I’m really happy that we became mutuals. You’ve always give off this like, mysterious cosmic vibe (????? huh). And your selfies just further proves that you are wtf. But you’re always so kind to those that you interact with. You’re an absolutely sweetheart and like I just want to give you a giant hug every time we interact. You’re such a soft human being. It’s so nice being around you. It’s like being tossed in the oven and baked at 250 degrees F for 25 minutes. And to boot you’re really talented, hello? God really said let there be a perfect human being and yeeted you into the universe. Thank you for always leaving such kind messages and words in my DM/askbox/works. I cherish them so much. I hope I can get to know you better in the future bc you’re rad, bro <3
anyways, updated drawing of u and maya:
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i always assume you’re in a black fur parka 24/7 and maya is coatless neck down. also deck me with those jacked arms of yours thanks  🧍‍♀️
(edit: fuck i forgot to draw a PARTY HAT ON MAYA IM SORRY)
@rokuseis​, Sei, the Dumber.
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i have nothing to say to you go away you banana hater ASELKSAEKL
BITCH, you doo bee getting on my nerve 24/7/365 🧍‍♀️ you were an unexpected but a very welcomed addition to my life. I can’t believe we really went 1 fuckin’ year without speaking to each other and then suddenly our friendship blew up because over a stupid BANANA. Now you gotta deal with me and my stupid, random, crude ass messages daily. I cannot. Clown to clown communication. But thank you so much bitch for being there for me and telling all of these funny ass stories and life experiences.
I know I don’t say it a lot because when we talk it’s literally just dogs barking at each other but I want to make it clear now: I love your humor and vibe so much. You never fail to make me laugh anytime I talk to you and I appreciate it so much. I can’t tell you how many times I felt better after talking to you. Even though sometimes your fucking jab hits hard and I end up actually inSULTED BY IT. But thank you for becoming my friend and I look forward to all of our stupid moments together. Looking forward to shitting in your sink when I finally fly to your home <3
@wolfamongthem, Anna, the Grinch. Please don’t hurt me for that title. I'm just saying if someone needs a live casting, it’ll be u. Anyways, did you know that I was so fucking intimidated by you for a long ass time, even before we became mutuals aseljas LMAO. I always see your gifs around on explore and they’re so gorgeous and then I look at your text posts and it’s u roasting people like there’s no tomorrow- 🧍‍♀️ bitch I was SCARED OF U KSKS. Now that I’ve talked to you a few times, you’re really funny like where do you find those reaction memes????? Like bro you and your shitposts is my morning cup of coffee. 
Anyways, in 2021 I expect a full-fledge review of all AAA games from you-- no more shit talking in the tags let it all out BITCH. Thank you for being such a great mutual! I look forward to see what weird shit you will send me the next time we talk lmao
@zenien​​, Selm, the I’m-gay-for-Lady-Maria-or-anything-that-moves-in-BB-Bitch™. ok bitch if I’m being honest I wrote yours last so my brain is FRIED. so everything i say from here is raw from the HEARt cause that’s all I got left. But anyhow, we savin’ the best for last! honestly, i didn’t expect you to barge into my life like that. i really didn’t. i was just gonna keep admiring with my 7 feet (2.1336 meters) pole. I’m glad you made the first move because look where we are wtf 🧍‍♀️ friends??? I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that in 2014 when I first followed you lmao. 
You’re such a kind soul. I know you may disagree but I’m determined to convince you. I can’t tell you how much I want to thank you for taking the time to talk to me during my rough bits. It’s like sitting on a wooden bench in a park during sunset and you sit next to me, just enjoying the vast sky. You radiate such peaceful energy. It’s very calming. Or you know, 2 seconds later i’m suddenly suplexed by your 40 tons of insults like what-- 
Thank you for everything, so far. Truly. It’s been so fun listening to you talk about your Bloodborne journey and see your reactions live. It’s been so fun to see you post your graphics and it continues to blow me away. It’s been so fun hearing about your life and the stories of your adulthood. Every words that we have exchanged, I hold dearly to my heart--more than you ever know. Love u bitch.
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You’ve Got Mail: Jungkook One Shot
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Request: Hi! I really love your writings! If your requests are still open, can you pls write a Jungkook story? Ex-lovers in high school where he broke up with her because he got bored or something like that. Then they met again in university and wants her back again. (Angst but happy ending pls). Thank you!
Description: After a messy breakup with high school heartthrob Jeon Jungkook, you swore off dating once you got into college. Even though it left you lonely, it was easier than being hurt. But one fateful blind date changes everything for you, and you realize that maybe isolation isn’t the answer either.
Word Count: 12.9k
Pairing: Jungkook x (gender neutral) Reader
Tags: Barista!Reader, Graphic Design Student!Jungkook, Non-Idol!Au, Ex-Lovers to Enemies to Lovers (? I guess? Haha)
Genre: Whole lotta angst, fluffy ending
Warnings: None!
A/N: It’s been two weeks since I’ve posted wtf!! But I’m back and less than a week away from the Rose Bowl concert, holy cow. This ask has been in my inbox for MONTHS, so I need to say thank you to the anon who sent it for waiting so long! I really enjoyed this request, so I hope you guys like it too!
Also, if you want to follow me on Twitter please do so! My handle is @/plzpunchmebts. I would post a link, but rumor has it Tumblr killed links and I’m not taking any chances. I’ll be posting concert videos and pics there, so please give it a follow if you’d like to see that!
- Mercury
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You were never too keen on blind dates. Everything about them felt…artificial. It wasn’t that you were a romantic, not especially, but you had to admit that being forced on a date by meddlesome friends took some of the magic out of dating. When Sua had mentioned a cute new boy in her class who was too busy studying to date, you had to admit the red flags began waving in your mind. Of course, you could relate. College was taxing and it was difficult to find time to even eat three meals, let alone date. Perhaps if things had cropped up organically, you’d have been more excited. But the forced union was a little cumbersome.
The nerves and the insecurity and the fear, none of it was especially fun. But Sua had been adamant that the two of you would hit it off, and with her eyes round and expectant, her brows raised, and her lips pouted, you really didn’t have any room to deny her. You figured one night of discomfort was better than months of guilt, and even though you figured things wouldn’t work out with this mystery man, you’d humor your friend. After all, making friends in college wasn’t easy.
Making friends in general wasn’t easy.
You sighed as you waited with your chilly hands clasped around your phone, standing at the entrance to the subway station where Sua had instructed. The mouth of the entrance was muggy with exiting passengers as the wave of people clambered up the steep stairs and onto the street, lined on all sides by buildings that reached the sky. Every now and again, someone would graze their shoulder against yours without apology, or perhaps step on the toe of your sneaker. You took a few inching steps backward, glancing over your shoulder to be sure you wouldn’t hit anyone. Not that they’d care. You backed up until you were out of the streamline and instead took up a quieter spot beside a fish cake vendor.
You checked your phone once again, furrowing your brow. Sue said eleven, didn’t she? You pulled up your messages and scrolled through carefully, head tilted to the side as you read her most recent text.
Sua: He said he’s running a little late, but he told me to tell you to wait.
You: I am waiting…
Sua: He says he’s sorry and that the subway is close to the terminal now.
You: That’s good.
Sua: He says sorry again.
Sua: You know, this is kinda dumb. Let me just give you his number so you can text him.
Sua: 51-XXX-XX24
You pursed your lips and crossed your arms over your chest. Sua was right, anyway. Making her your proxy wouldn’t really do you much good, considering she wasn’t here to help you in person. But wouldn’t it be a bit forward to just…text this guy? You didn’t know him yet. And besides, what could you say that Sua hadn’t? Hey, I’m doing this out of obligation, sorry to disappoint! or you can just go back home now and we can tell Sua things didn’t work out. You shook your head and rubbed your fingertip along the screen of your phone, working your lower lip between your teeth. You were just looking for an out. And really, you didn’t want to bail after Sua had gone through the trouble of setting things up. Still, just texting a stranger was a little…
But then again, he’d agreed to the blind date too, hadn’t he? It wasn’t like you were someone he was forced to talk to. He’d come on his own accord. Rubbing your bare forearm in the spring breeze with one hand, you used the other to tap the phone number and save it and, with only your index finger, drafted a slow message.
You: Hey, I’m Sua’s friend. I think we’re supposed to have a blind date today? Haha. That sounded kind of awkward…
Within seconds, your phone dinged with an incoming text and you jumped, nervous, before glancing at your phone once more.
Blind Date: Oh! Haha, hello. It wasn’t awkward at all. Ahh, I’m really sorry I’m late. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I bumped into a cyclist and he gave me an earful so I missed the first subway.
Blind Date: But I’m one stop away! You’re outside exit 2 right?
You: Yeah! I’m next to a fish cake stall. I’m wearing a red blouse, so you can’t miss me :-)
Damn, you thought, was that smiley face too much? You picked at the skin around your nail and glanced up to see the near-constant flow of people was still in full force, the subway exit spitting pedestrians onto the cement sidewalk in droves. You squinted a little, trying to keep a good visual on the staircase leading out. With a sigh, you leaned over your bag to slip your phone inside when it buzzed again. Despite yourself, your heart raced and you eagerly unlocked it to see if he’d responded.
Blind Date: Cute! Let’s get some fish cakes then before we go to the movie.
Blind Date: Ah, subway just pulled in! I’m only a few sweaty staircases away now~
Blind Date: :P
Without meaning to, you smiled a little. Your nerves settled as you leaned on your right foot, grinning softly at your screen. He seemed like a good guy, at least. You were relieved. After the jerks you dated in high school, you’d sworn off dating for a while. Maybe trying to cleanse your palate. It was…oddly refreshing to be talking to someone who didn’t make you feel like you weren’t all that important. Like you were disposable.
Still smiling, you responded with a simple text.
You: I’m excited to meet you :-D
“Y/N?” asked a familiar voice from beside you.
A voice that sent chills up your spine, and not the good kind.
You stiffened and turned, eyes wide, toward the one person you’d been hoping fervently to avoid for life. Standing with his big, brown eyes wide and his hair slightly windswept, Jeon Jungkook stared down at you like you were a ghost. Your lips parted and, heart hammering, you opened and closed your jaw a few times. What were you supposed to say to the boy who broke your heart when you were sixteen?
Years later and he was still the heartthrob he’d been back then, only now he looked…like a man. His cheekbones were prominent, strong jaw, heavy brow and a serious, toned build like he’d lived at the gym in the years between your meetings.
You swallowed hard and slipped your phone in your bag, crossing your arms and thus closing yourself to him. You glanced up at him with a furrowed brow. “Jungkook,” you said with a sigh. “I’m actually waiting here for someone and I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, so if you could-,”
“You’re on a blind date?” asked Jungkook, lips agape.
You shrugged, glancing down the sidewalk toward the open maw of the subway exit, squinting in the hopes of catching your date’s attention. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Wait, but-,”
You sighed and shut him up with a single look his way, sharp, venomous. “I’m gonna to wait someplace else if you’re gonna keep standing beside me.”
“No, it’s not-,”
You huffed and shuffled into the crowd once more, walking purposefully away from him, but Jungkook was hot on your tail and wouldn’t let you out of his sight. Every few paces, you’d glance over your shoulder and see him following you feverishly, angling himself through the narrow spaces between bodies. But you kept going, pushing through, until you were blocks away from the subway station and Jungkook was nowhere to be seen.
You exhaled long and slow, patting your chest to calm down, and veered off toward the shops on your right, taking cover beneath an awning. Something in your bag vibrated and you jumped. Shit. Your date. The spring day sun was warm on your hands as you fumbled with your bag, grabbing your phone once again.
Blind Date: Where did you go??
You gripped your nose bridge and exhaled through your nose. Of course he’d be confused. You were lucky he was nice enough to reach out at all after seeing you weren’t where you said you’d be. You typed your reply quickly, desperate not to hurt his feelings.
You: God, I’m SO sorry. I ran into someone…from a long time ago lol. I couldn’t shake him off, so I ended up down the street a few blocks. By a Burger King.
You: I’m making a really bad impression, huh? I’m sorry. Just…he’s the LAST person I wanted to see today, you know?
You: Or…well, ever haha.
You awaited a response with bated breath, brows knit, and chewed on the inside of your cheek. This blind date was a wild card, really. Since you didn’t know him yet, you didn’t know how he’d respond. And it wouldn’t be his fault if he decided you weren’t worth all the hassle. Honestly, you might’ve been a little relieved if that was the case. Running into Jungkook…it made you remember why you avoided dating.
But despite your expectations, your phone buzzed again and you jumped to grab it.
Blind Date: This person…you really didn’t want to see him?
You: No. It’s just a painful reminder of the past.
You: !!! God, I keep saying awkward things !!! Haha, please forget I said anything. Where are you?
Blind Date: No! It’s not awkward at all. I’m just…
Blind Date: I’m sorry you had to see him then, I guess.
You: Jeez…
You: You’re a really nice guy, aren’t you?
Blind Date: Haha! I don’t know about that…
Blind Date: How about we reschedule for another time? I get the feeling you wouldn’t really be up for a movie right now anyway.
You panicked, heart kicking up. Despite everything you told yourself, you were a little bit happy he was being so understanding. And even though you were scared, you wanted to see if…well…if maybe this guy might be different.
You shook your head. Of course you shouldn’t think that way. Putting your heart out there to be toyed with and thrown aside…you didn’t want to go through it. Not really. And what relationship could be worth all that? You sucked in your breath and typed a quick response, ready to cast Jungkook and this blind date into the banks of your memory to gather dust. Even if this guy did seem sweet…
So had Jungkook, at first.
You: Yeah. That’s probably for the best. I work at that coffeeshop on campus, so I’ll shoot you a text once I get my schedule. :-)
You: I’m sorry for all the trouble today. Seriously.
You sighed and turned on your heel toward the street. If you kept on this sidewalk for a few more blocks, you’d find exit 3. And from there, it was only a 20-minute subway ride home whereupon you could finally collapse on your couch and wait for this cursed weekend to be over.
But before you could take a single step, a text came.
Blind Date: It was no trouble. :D I just feel bad that you had an unpleasant experience…
You: Hey, it’s not your fault haha.
You: Oh yeah! I never gave you my name, did I?
Blind Date: No, actually. Haha.
You: It’s Y/N.
Blind Date: It’s nice to meet you again, Y/N.
Blind Date: You can call me Nochu.
You: … Nochu … ?
Blind Date: Haha, it’s weird huh?
Blind Date: It’s a nickname I prefer.
You: Ah! I see. I’ll call you that then.
You: Nochu.
Blind Date: Y/N :-)
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You stood and placed your hands on your lower back and stretched, groaning, a week later. Classes had been dragging lately and with several coworkers sick with a cold, you were one of the only employees left who wasn’t too ill to work. Your body felt like it was slowly failing you. Even your feet were sore from constantly running from place to place. And the quiet coffee shop before you made you feel like taking a long and well-needed nap. Mismatched chairs and bistro tables littered the trendy place and students congregated around the windows or the fireplace or the used bookshelf. Nobody really bothered you except to order or ask for to-go coffee sleeves. Mostly, you just stood there. For hours. Watching everything and nothing at once.
But today the energy was a little different. You’d heard from Sua that the graphic design students were approaching an important deadline, and from the looks of the crowd it seemed that deadline was heavy on everyone’s minds. Laptops and drawing tablets and plenty of coffee littered the tables as students chatted in small groups, none of them looking all too happy. You wondered what the project was, but didn’t want to bother Sua with a useless question. So instead, you just watched over customer’s shoulders as they added thick white lines to separate sections of illustrations or grabbed whole images with slender styluses and slid them to new spaces.
“Excuse me?”
You jumped and turned to the queue which up until moments ago had been completely empty. You made sure to manage your expression with a tight smile and bowed your head. “Sorry,” you said quietly, lifting your eyes to meet the customer.
And, to your shock and horror, you saw a familiar face amongst the group of thee college-aged boys. Jeon Jungkook stood in the middle, a half-pace behind the guy who had roused your attention, and if his expression was anything to go by, he was just as horrified to see you as you were to see him. You felt your back go perfectly straight, eyes wide and lips parted through which only shallow exhales escaped. Your palms grew sweaty and your heart thump-thumped to an uneven cadence.
“Um, what can I make for you?” you asked finally, managing a tight smile at the speaker of the group whose attention was affixed to the sign above your head, reading the menu with squinted eyes. “If you need more time…,” you hedged, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze which you felt burning circles into your face.
“Ah, no I’ve got it,” said the first guy with a polite smile your way. “I’ll have a green tea latte.”
You nodded and wrote it down on your notepad, just to keep things straight. Had your coworkers been stronger in their constitution, you’d have given the order to one of them to get started on. Perhaps you’d even get started yourself and leave the cashiering to them. But alas, you were alone and painfully aware of it.
“Will you be paying separately or together?” you asked, a tinge of hope in your voice. Please say together, please say together, please say together, you thought over and over, like an endless mantra.
The first boy chuckled and gave Jungkook’s shoulder a firm punch. “Like I’ll pay for these good-for-nothings,” he joked before returning his attention to you, smiling. He had a kind smile, but even that did little to ease your anxieties. You simply nodded and took his card as he stretched it out toward you.
The second guy approached, another brown-haired college kid with a polite grin and baggy spring clothes, and hummed. “I’ll do the caramel macchiato,” he said with a nod, fingers still clasping his chin as he scanned the menu and you scribbled his order. “Ah!” he said, pointing at you. You jumped, still on edge with adrenaline coursing through you, but quickly settled with a smile. “And a slice of banana bread.”
“Banana bread,” you mumbled to yourself as you wrote it. “Okay.”
The second handed you a credit card which you swiped quickly, eager to get this whole encounter over with. He took it back with a bow and a smile which you struggled to return because the moment you glanced over his shoulder you caught Jungkook’s gaze, intense, warm browns peering at you like you held answers he’d been searching for. Despite yourself, you blushed and glanced back toward your notepad.
Finally, the moment of reckoning arrived and your nerves made your hands a little shaky as they clasped the pen and paper. Your eyes wavered around the space between your own hands, measuring the empty air, desperate not to look at Jungkook again.
“Um…,” he mumbled, voice a low rumble in his chest. You almost wanted to squeeze your eyes shut altogether, even though you knew how dumb that’d make you look. “Can I get a strawberry smoothie?”
You almost laughed. It was so like him to come to a coffeeshop and order something like that. It was so like him to still have a weak palate when it came to bitter things. It was so like him to chase after you that day, to show up here on coincidence. It was so like him to be exactly who you remembered him to be. Exactly who he was back then.
Slowly, once you’d written his order down, you lifted your eyes and looked at him properly at last. He was dressed well, casual as you expected, all black as you expected, handsome as you expected. His hair was half-styled out of his eyes, and those eyes were the problem really. Dark and depthless, staring down at you with furrowed brow, jaw clenched. If anyone had doubts you two knew each other before, they’d certainly know now with the way he was watching you. The way he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you for even a second.
“That’s all?” you asked.
“Um…yeah,” he responded, blinking at you like he had more to say.
By then, his friends had begun setting up camp amongst the mismatched sofas and recliners, setting up their computers. You caught sight of a drawing tablet as its corner poked out the top of the first boy’s backpack. So they were design majors too? Maybe your blind date had met one of these guys, then. But wait. If his friends were, did that mean…
“You’re a design major?” you asked, unable to stop yourself.
But once you said it, you wished to suck the words back inside like tapioca balls through a straw because across Jungkook’s face flashed a brief glimmer of excitement, eyes wide, mouth already open and poised to respond.
“Yeah!” he said, smiling a little. “I…uh, well you remember how I liked to draw.”
You nodded, typing the total into your cash register. “Yeah, I remember.”
“Listen, Y/N, I’m really sorry about-,”
“Let’s not rehash things here,” you said, eyeing him from beneath your lashes, scanning the shop like a conspirator in search of any prying eyes, any listening ears. “It doesn’t matter anyway. We’ve both moved on so let’s just keep it at that.”
Jungkook shut his mouth and, after a long moment, sighed. “Alright,” he said, sounding defeated. You hazarded a glance up at him and found his eyes long-sighted, gazing down at the counter between you without really looking at it.
“It’ll be 3,500 won,” you said, holding out one hand towards him.
He blinked and shook his head a little, as if returning to himself, and yanked his wallet from the front pocket of his loose joggers. He pulled out a bill and handed it to you. 20,000. Was that the smallest bill he had on him? You examined it with a thinly-veiled scowl. Of course, he was probably making good money doing something impressive. That was Jungkook anyway. The type of guy who just…made things come to him. Like the universe responded to his will. You sighed and went to work on the old register, punching in the amount and sliding the bill inside. You produced his change to find him already bounding toward his friends with his broad back to you.
Panicked, you rushed to the side of the barista station and called out to him. “Hey! You forgot your change!” you shouted, cupping one hand around your mouth. A few patrons turned to look at you and Jungkook.
He barely glanced back at you when he said, “You can keep it.”
And suddenly you were blushing for a very different reason.
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That jerk, you thought to yourself as you watched him plug away at some ad he was working on on his tablet. Evening had fallen slowly upon the city of Seoul, and you wanted nothing more than to stroll out into the lavender evening, forgetting this whole unpleasant day. But instead, you had to wait for your coworker, Sora, to relieve you after making you work fifteen minutes past the end of your shift. Scowling, you kept a hawk’s eye on Jungkook and, unbeknownst to him, wished silent curses upon his head. I hope you go bald, you thought. Or worse, I hope you go out for fried chicken and you get only tendons. You crossed your arms and lolled your head to the side.
You shouldn’t have expected Jungkook to change. He’d always been a ‘my pace’ kind of guy. Maybe leaving that tip was his way of flexing his money to you. That he had enough money to just throw around at random baristas he used to hook up with in high school. Or maybe he was pitying you, looking down on you for working such a menial job. Either way, it made your blood boil. You felt the money crinkle in the pocket of your jeans with every step.
You’d briefly considered spitting in his smoothie, but you didn’t want to lose your job over Jeon Jungkook.
After all, you’d already lost your youth to the kid.
You glanced outside and watched the rainclouds gathering. Of course, you’d forgotten to bring an umbrella. It wasn’t like you’d checked the weather on the way out. Grumpily, you glanced down at your phone to check the time. Twenty minutes late now. What did Sora have to do that was so important? Normally, you’d complain to a friend. But Sua was about the closest you had these days and you weren’t sure you could trouble her with it.
But…were you really friends if you didn’t reach out to her from time to time?
Sighing, you glanced around the shop, making sure nobody was watching you, and unlocked your phone. So much had already happened that a quick message didn’t seem reasonable, but you couldn’t very well bury your head in your phone so after every few clicks you’d sweep your gaze around. You settled for an anxious few words between nervous glances at the rest of the shop. Realistically, you were off the clock anyway. But you didn’t want any bad Yelp reviews on your behalf.
You: Sua, on God today is cursed.
You waited a few moments for a response before growing impatient. Everything was taking forever today: that interaction with Jungkook, Sora taking over your shift, and now Sua not responding. Of course, she had no obligation to. She was probably busy with her own preparation much like the other graphic design students. You had no right to expect that of her.
Wasn’t that your problem from the start? Expecting too much?
Your phone buzzed in response as your mind began to drift toward melancholy thoughts and as you slid it open your eyes went wide and your fingertips chilled as the blood rushed to your cheeks.
Blind Date: Hah…I’m not Sua, but I am willing to listen if you need it…?
Blind Date: Was wondering when I’d hear from you.
Mortified didn’t even begin to cover it. You cupped a hand over your lips in horror, and just as you were about to melt into a pile of melted pride on the floor, the door swung open and a breathless Sora met your eyes with a nervous smile. You swallowed hard and pocketed your phone, offering Sora your full attention. He bowed his head to you, bending at the waist, as he approached the counter.
“I am so sorry for being late!” he shouted, loud enough for every patron to glance at him and, subsequently, you.
Your flushed face went beet red as Jungkook turned to stare at you, eyes wide. Of course, another embarrassing moment in front of that guy. “U-um, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” you said, waving your hands.
He sniffled and looked up at you, eyes red with impending tears. “I really didn’t mean to, but I fell asleep after class today and-,”
“Sora, it’s cool,” you said, removing your apron and hanging it on the rack behind you. “I’m gonna go now though so I can catch my subway.”
Sora stiffened and nodded, giving you a salute before scampering behind the counter and putting on his own apron. “I really am sorry!” he called after you.
You waved a hand and rushed out onto the sidewalk, lingering beneath the awning as the rain began to drizzle from overhead. You returned your attention to your phone, pushing your hair behind your ears so you could see properly, and swallowed your nerves.
You: I…am such an idiot.
You: I’m so sorry. I was at work and I’m not supposed to be on my phone, but I just…
You: Jesus, honestly you can just delete my number. I don’t think I can look at your contact anymore without cringing.
You were poised to take a step out into the rain when your phone vibrated again and you jumped to read it with barely shaking hands.
Blind Date: No! It’s okay. Seriously.
Blind Date: I can list dumber things I’ve done today alone.
Blind Date: Besides, sounds like you need someone to talk to anyway…?
You blinked at your phone screen a few times, cocking your head to the side. Somehow, his words had calmed you down, just a little. Your flaming cheeks were cooler now when you poked one with the pad of your finger. Your heart wasn’t a hammer against your ribcage. And as you glanced over your shoulder at the window into the coffeeshop, you found Jungkook was no longer in sight. With a few texts alone, things seemed a little better.
You: I won’t bore you with all of it, haha.
You: It was more of a Sua story anyway I think.
You: I’m trying to break through that kinda hesitant first stage of friendship with her and
You: Well anyway, I’m sorry to bother you. Hope you’re doing good?
Blind Date: Haha, hey I get it. Friendships are weird. Took me a while to make any real friends this year since I was so shy.
You: You were shy?
Blind Date: Oh big time. I still don’t really know how to approach people without saying or doing something wrong.
Blind Date: Like today. I think I came across like an asshole to someone.
Blind Date: That happens a lot actually -_-
Blind Date: Being nervous makes me act weird.
You: Really? You sound really confident over text.
Blind Date: Haha really? That’s good to hear at least.
Blind Date: I’m about the least confident person I know.
Blind Date: Whew, not exactly the impression I wanted to give to a possible date! Oops.
You smiled at your phone and began typing out a response when the door by your hip swung open and out walked Jungkook and his friends. Jungkook caught your eye as your smile was slipping into a scowl and you quickly righted yourself, looking away down the busy street. You held your phone close to your chest and popped a hip out to the side, feigning disinterest.
“See you guys tomorrow,” said one boy.
“Yeah,” responded Jungkook, and you saw out the corner of your eye that the guys parted ways. Jungkook lingered beside you underneath the awning, watching you keenly. “Who were you texting?” he asked.
You stiffened and glanced up at him with a frown. “Is that any of your business?” you asked.
He flushed a little, rubbed the back of his head, and let out a few breathy laughs. “Sorry. Guess not,” he said with a sigh.
For a few moments the two of you just stood there, silent. You weren’t sure what to do next without an umbrella, and you didn’t want Jungkook to think you were just…spending time with him for fun. But still, you didn’t move or make a sound. Just watched the steadily increasing rainfall splatter against the pavement, gathering in pools beside the sidewalk.
“Listen,” he began, turning to you properly. You eyed him from below with raised brows. “I really don’t want any bad energy between us, okay? I know things were messy before, but we’re in college now. It’s been years, right?” Some of the tension between you broke, but it was quickly replaced by a new tension: your outrage.
You blinked at him, working your jaw. “Jungkook, you don’t get to tell me when I’m allowed to stop being hurt,” you said, shaking your head. “Seeing you is a little painful, even though it’s been a long time. So…maybe just ignore me.”
Jungkook sighed and gripped the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, Y/N. You know I am.”
You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I don’t really want anything to do with you,” you said, meeting his eyes. Your own calm surprised you. He looked desperate, brows knit and lips parted. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to just leave me alone.”
He blinked a few times, eyes wide. “I…I mean, we go to the same school now and everything. I just transferred this year and it’s…I don’t really know many people. It’s not like we’re strangers, so why should we act like we are?”
You swallowed your anger. “I’m gonna go now,” you said, adjusting your bag on your shoulder and walking out into the rain. You turned to look at him. “I don’t think you get what I’m saying, so it’s not worth repeating it again in a different way. Just…leave me alone.”
But before you could take a single step toward the subway entrance three blocks away, Jungkook was beside you in the rain, fiddling with his umbrella. “Wh-what are you doing? I just said to leave me alone!” you called at him over the sound of the rain around you.
Jungkook spat rainwater out from between his lips and shook his head as the umbrella finally popped open and the rain stopped pummeling you, now ricocheting off the nylon. You stared up at Jungkook underneath the dark umbrella, confined beneath it, confined to this small, enclosed space. Your chest was nearly touching his arm and his breath was warm as it fanned across your face. Strawberries. Like his smoothie. Rain was caught in his long eyelashes and his rosy lips were still parted, cheeks a warm pink. He stared down at you and for a brief moment, you felt a hot, shooting sensation running from the top of your head to your toes.
“Let me walk you to the station at least,” he said, scanning you.
You felt a little faint, and the sweet scent of his cologne only made you more disoriented. “I’m fine. It’s only a few blocks,” you said, but even you could admit your voice sounded weak.
He sighed, eyes falling to the ground. “I know I hurt you a lot back then, but…,” he began, then shook his head. “Even if it’s small, I wanna make it up to you somehow. So…let me walk you.”
You rubbed your bare forearm and inhaled sharply, shutting your eyes for a moment. “Fine,” you forced out and the two of you began walking.
“So…,” said Jungkook after a few moments of uncomfortable silence. “How was your date the other day?”
You groaned. “What we’re not gonna do is this.”
Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry,” he said, shaking his head. “Just curious.”
You watched your hands, clasped in front of you, and sighed. “It didn’t happen,” you said. If nothing else, at least your time with Jungkook made you remarkably comfortable talking to him about your thoughts and feelings. “We cancelled.”
“Why?” he asked, brows high.
You shrugged. “After seeing you, I was kinda crabby so…”
“It was my fault?” He pointed with his free hand to his own chest, eyes wide.
“I mean, yeah but not really,” you said with an easy exhale. “It’s for the best anyway. He seems like a really nice guy. I don’t wanna end up hurting his feelings or something.”
“You’d rather be alone than risk having things end badly?” he asked.
You peered up at him. “Wonder why that is,” you mumbled before glancing away.
He sighed. “Sorry.”
“Mhm.”
The rest of the walk was silent as the two of you were forced to simply live with the words you’d exchanged, unable to do anything to alter the events that led you here. All you could do was walk forward, united under a shared umbrella for just a moment, until you ducked out from beneath it and disappeared down the subway station stairs, not even pausing for a moment to wave or say goodbye.
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Blind Date: Yikes, did I really scare you off?
You raised your brows at your phone screen as the subway bumped along. It was too crowded to find a seat, so you stood cramped between a stout businessman and a high school girl, all of you holding the railing overhead for stability. You couldn’t help it, but again you smiled. After all the craziness that had come from the day, this stranger seemed to help you feel at ease.
You: Haha nope! It’d take more than that.
You: I bumped into someone I didn’t want to see, so I had to take care of that.
Blind Date: !!! Same person as before??
You: Yeah, if you can believe it lol.
Blind Date: (o_O)
Blind Date: How unlucky can a person be?
You: That’s what I’m saying. (¬_¬;)
You: That’s actually one of the things I was gonna complain to Sua about.
You: Y’know, teenage heartbreak and high school angst. Etc.
Blind Date: Hey, I said it before. I’d love to listen!
Blind Date: Aight, that was too enthusiastic. How about: I wouldn’t mind hearing you out!
You: Lol, good addendum.
You: I mean, it’s not like it’s really that serious. Just…in high school I was really shy. I didn’t have very many friends and I thought that I was fine on my own, you know?
You: But I guess I was lonelier than I thought haha. There was this really handsome guy in my class who started sitting with me on the roof at lunch. At first, neither of us really said anything. Just…sitting together.
You: But after a while, we got pretty close. Half a school year maybe. He said he came up there because the air was nice, but I had a feeling it had to do with the fact that he was a little too popular for his own good. Everyone wanted to talk to him. But he was like me.
You: Introverted, I mean.
Blind Date: Sounds like you two were good friends, then?
You: Yeah, until I caught feelings lol. Mistake.
Blind Date: You confessed??
You: Hehe…yes.
You: After a while being close, I felt really comfortable telling him anything. I told him it wasn’t like I was expecting him to date me or anything. I just wanted him to know so he could be a little more careful around me.
You: But it seemed like he reciprocated.
You: We started dating…I guess?
You: Never put a label on it, which was another mistake on my part for not asking.
You: But we did everything couples did, just…not really in front of anyone from school.
You: Never asked about that either lol.
Blind Date: Oh…
Blind Date: I mean…that doesn’t sound so good…
You: Haha, it’s probably exactly what it sounds like because once we’d been together for about a year, he ended things really suddenly. We were getting ready to apply for colleges and he was gonna go for one in a different city. He said it wouldn’t work out.
You: I fought really hard for it, but he started saying pretty mean things and I didn’t want to get hurt so I ended up conceding.
Blind Date: Mean things?
You: Things I don’t really wanna type out haha…
Blind Date: Shit! Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.
You: Hey, don’t worry! Old wounds. I should probably get over it, really.
You: No time like the present!
You: He said he never really liked me and he was only with me because he felt bad for me. Didn’t really love hearing that.
You: He said because I didn’t have friends, he pitied me. That was why he went to the roof to eat with me. Why he kissed me and all that. Took me on dates. ┐( ̄ヘ ̄)┌  Pretty dumb, imo, but that’s what he said and it seemed like he meant it anyway lol.
Blind Date: Y/N…
You: Hey, you asked!
Blind Date: That’s really shitty. You didn’t deserve that.
Blind Date: You carried that around with you all these years?
You: Hah, admitting it sounds kinda pathetic, huh?
You: I guess it’s not the sort of thing you just…get over. I think I really loved him too, so…
You: Anyway, seeing him now is really weird. Never thought I’d see him around here again, but suddenly he’s everywhere haha. Definitely doesn’t feel great, tbh.
You: Ew, sorry for laying all that on you. Not exactly small talk.
Blind Date: No!! Don’t apologize. I’m glad you talked to me about it. Honestly…I feel really sorry for you. It sounds like the whole thing affected you a lot. :-(
Blind Date: If it makes you feel better, I think I can understand you a little!
Blind Date: Like I said, I’m a bit shy myself. It’s not an issue of having friends, but finding good ones. It’s hard for me to socialize without saying something dumb and regretting it. So for a while, when I first started college, I isolated myself a lot. I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?
Blind Date: But recently, I’ve met some people who are really kind. People who don’t judge me when I mess things up (which is often haha). They help me communicate better.
You: You communicate really well, I think :-)
Blind Date: Haha, thank you. I’m actually blushing a little, whew. Uh, I guess it’s because it’s easier to type things out. Speaking is hard because you can’t just reword things before sending them. You say it out loud and it’s forever, you know?
You: Yeah! Jeez, that actually happened to me today (—_—)
You: I’m glad someone else understands it lol
Blind Date: Yeah, me too.
By the time you received the last message, you were already back inside your apartment, soaked from the walk home. You’d used your bag to cover your phone as you walked and typed, so now the thing was slumped against your dining chair like a sopping wet creature. But still, you smiled at your phone. Even though the conversation with Jungkook had been jarring, you’d almost forgotten it after chatting with your blind date. It felt oddly vulnerable to reveal so much to him, but his reaction had been really reassuring. You set your phone aside and padded to the bathroom to dry yourself a little with a towel, catching sight of yourself in the mirror. Your cheeks were a little flushed, eyes clear, and still smiling. You shook your head, trying to shake off your grin, but when you glanced back at your reflection it was still the same.
With the towel dangling across your shoulders, you returned to the living room and saw your phone lit up with another new text. Smiling, you unlocked it and read what he had to say.
Blind Date: Off topic, but uh…
Blind Date: Did you happen to catch the most recent episode of Game of Thrones?
Blind Date: Because I need to talk about it or I might explode.
You raised your brows and, without meaning to, you laughed. Was this okay? Was it alright to become close to someone like this again? Was it alright to be excited about someone again? You were fearful, cautious, hesitant. After everything with Jungkook, you’d found it impossible to trust people’s intentions. Were they being nice to you because they liked you or because they felt bad for you? Would you get hurt if you trusted the goodwill of the people around you?
You: Um…
You: CAN WE TALK ABOUT ARYA???
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You weren’t going to talk to him again.
Well…that was your intention anyway. But by Friday, you’d spent every night up late chatting with this Nochu guy. It wasn’t like you talked about anything all that interesting or profound. Music you liked, games you played, anime you watched. You’d spent the better portion of Thursday night talking about whether Fullmetal Alchemist or Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood was superior. You weren’t sure why you were compelled to respond every time his name lit up your phone. And you really weren’t sure why you were the one reaching out to him now as you sat watching your professor detail the process of molecular movement across a cell membrane.
Perhaps you’d missed making easy conversation with someone you liked talking to…
After high school, you’d become something of a recluse. You spent more nights in than out and despite doing well in your classes, you’d found yourself…slightly lonesome. That’s why when Sua gave you her number after you’d successfully finished a project together a few months ago, you’d been quick to take it. Even though it was a little scary, some small part of you wanted to trust people again.
And maybe that’s why too. Why you were sending this stupid text in the middle of your lecture.
You: Hey dude. You free today?
Blind Date: Hm? Why?
You: Idk, Burger King or smth?
Blind Date: Hehe, are you trying to revive our dead romance?
You: O.O Our romance died already? After one failed date?
Blind Date: Hahaha I mean…you can try giving it CPR if you want…?
Blind Date: Mouth-to-mouth ;-D
You: Yuck, I take it back. Our romance is dead and buried.
You: Anyway, you free?
Blind Date: Uh yeah probs later. I’ve got class until 4.
Blind Date: Does that work for your Burger King plan?
Blind Date: I know it’s hard to get a reservation at that place on short notice >.<
You: I take it all back.
You: I have plans tonight, soz.
You: Talk to ya later, weeb.
You smiled and set your phone down beside your notebook, refocusing on your professor.  But your attention was quickly assuaged by your phone vibrating once more. You smirked down at it and, covertly, read the slew of oncoming text messages with a chuckle.
Blind Date: !!! That’s rude !!!
Blind Date: You can’t just offer a Burger King date and snatch it out from under me like that.
Blind Date: I’ll be mad if you jerk me around >:-(
Blind Date: You see that face? I mean BUSINESS.
You: Calm down lol, I was kidding.
You: Let’s meet at the Burger King next to the ramen place near campus?
Blind Date: Hehe, sounds good :-P
Blind Date: Ah, but don’t be too surprised when you meet me, okay?
Blind Date: I don’t want you fainting when you see my handsome face 8-)
You: Mhm, I’ll be sure not to faint.
Blind Date: I mean…a little fainting is fine…
You: Haha shut up. I’ll see you there. Looking forward to putting a face to the texts!
Blind Date: Hopefully my face doesn’t disappoint lol.
You: Yikes, mine either.
Blind Date: Yours won’t.
Blind Date: Haha, I’m sure you’ll look great. That’s what I meant.
Blind Date: Ew, all of that was hard to read. Forget I said anything hhhhhh.
You smiled fondly at your phone before sliding it into your bag. “You look kinda smitten,” said Sua from beside you.
You jumped and glanced at her as the rest of the class began packing up. She was grinning at you like a co-conspirator, brows low, knowing grin on her face. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been texting someone named Blind Date during every class period for a week,” she said, cocking a brow. “I take it you guys hit it off?”
You felt yourself go warm. Not like with Jungkook the other day, but like something else. Something a little deeper than a physical reaction. Nonetheless, you cleared your throat and smiled at Sua. “He’s a good guy. I think we could be good friends.”
“Friends?” she asked with a laugh, flitting her hand as the two of you stood together. “Sounds boring. Get a smooch or two out of it or it’s a bust.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “I don’t really know if he’d be interested in me that way.”
“What about you?” she asked, eyeing you. “Would you be interested?”
You stared at her for a long moment, eyes wide, and opened and shut your mouth a few times. “I…,” you began, then glanced at your feet. You followed her out into the hallway where students hurried by in a flash beside you. “I mean…”
Sua paused her walking to stare back at you, her teasing grin replaced with a genuine one. “Wait, do you actually like him-like him?” she asked, eyes alight.
You stiffened, scratching your arm, and sighed. “Jeez, I don’t know! Maybe,” you said, waving your hands. “Forget it, I’ve got another class soon.”
She laughed as you maneuvered around her through the hall, calling after you. “You’re cute when you’ve got a crush!”
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You sat at a booth by yourself at Burger King, waiting for your not-date to show up. It had only been a few minutes and already your anxiety was starting to speak in your ear. He’s not showing up, it whispered, You’re an idiot. And maybe you were. Looking around the fast food joint, you saw more than a few couples, sitting side-by-side or gazing at each other over fried chicken. You didn’t envy them. Not that way. Just…maybe it was the human connection you missed more than anything. Last time you’d been in this situation, you were still deeply in love with Jeon Jungkook.
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You were sixteen and you sat twiddling your thumbs on a suburban bench overlooking Seoul. Trees swayed in the summer breeze and carried with them the scent of young hopefulness, naivety in the form of dogwood blossoms. You watched the uneven cityscape before you as it resisted the pull of the wind, and far in the distance, slightly glittering in the sunlight, the Han River. Jungkook had said he’d be there at exactly two. It was ten past, and you were getting a little nervous. You’d confessed not a week prior during the last week of school, and to your shock Jungkook had been receptive. He hadn’t said anything bold like ‘I like you too’ or ‘let’s date’ but he had invited you out for some ice cream and you figured that was much the same thing for him.
Maybe he’s just being nice, you thought to yourself with a sigh. You’d spent a long time picking out the right outfit, getting your hair to lay just right. And still, you didn’t feel quite up to par with him. Girls were always confessing their love for him. Guys too. What made you any different than the dozens of other hopefuls? He probably won’t come…
“Y/N!” called a voice from the winding, hilly street.
You jumped and turned, and your heart swelled as you saw Jungkook running down the sidewalk toward you, grinning from ear to ear. And that was what did you in. That sincerity, that vigor, that enthusiasm…all for you. You stood up to meet him and chuckled as he caught his breath, patting his chest.
“Sorry, sorry,” he said, panting. “My mom started lecturing me, so I got tied up.” After a few moments regaining his composure, he finally looked at you properly and when he did, you noticed his cheeks going red hot, eyes round. “Oh, wow,” he said, glancing away with a jittery laugh. “S-Sorry, you…you look really nice.”
You felt a little faint. You’d spent months pining after this kid, pining after this purity you kept glimpsing in him, and now…
He was saying you looked nice.
It was almost enough to knock the breath out of you.
You smiled at your shoes and rubbed your neck. “Th-thank you,” you said.
He laughed, nervous once more, and gave your shoulder a shove. “Hey, don’t get all clammy on me, okay? Nothing’s weird between us. Just…two pals…on a date.”
You jumped and stared up at him with unbridled surprise. “Date?” you asked, shameless hope in your voice.
He laughed, eyes turning to crescents, and nodded. “What else would it be?” Of course. Of course, since it was Jungkook, the answer was just that simple, wasn’t it?
You swallowed hard and tried to manage your expression, but you couldn’t fight the smile teasing your lips. “Oh,” you said, letting out a breathy laugh.
He examined you for a moment, scanning you. You weren’t used to going out with friends, let alone dating. All of this was new and exhilarating to you. But you felt a sudden wave of shyness that you couldn’t fight off, and a slightly pleasant self-consciousness. You felt him looking at you, and it didn’t feel like he hated looking. You became very aware of your body, each limb, each finger. Still smiling a little, you laughed again, unsure of what else to do. These were uncharted waters, after all.
“Hm,” he said, bending down to meet your eyes. You blushed and leaned away a little, but he was blushing too and it made you feel better knowing perhaps he was just as nervous as you. “Lemme prove it.”
Your eyes went wide, but before you could say or do anything, Jungkook closed the distance between you, tipping his chin so that your lips met. His lips were warm and soft. They tasted like chapstick and banana milk. You didn’t move, not a single muscle, and perhaps this worried him because he was quick to lean away and stare down at you, fresh insecurity on display in his warm brown eyes.
“Sorry! Was that too sudden?” he asked, laughing and glancing away, down the quiet street. “Jeez, I got carried away, huh? Ha, I’m sorry.”
Before he could spiral, you took a timid step forward and pushed yourself onto your toes. Gently, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself nearer to him. He jumped and looked at you with stunned eyes. But you didn’t give him a chance to think too much, because before long you were kissing him, head tilted to the side, eyes shut. Without much pause, his hands found your waist and stayed there, respectful, unsure.
And somehow, you’d summoned the courage to do it. To kiss him back.
Because he showed up, after all.
He didn’t leave you alone…
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Fifteen minutes now and you were beginning to worry. You reasoned that at least there were worse places to be stood up. A nice steakhouse, for instance. At least here you weren’t the only solo diner. But nonetheless, the feeling of a deep gut-punch was only growing. Dread and disappointment mingled into a bitter cocktail in the pit of your stomach. Wouldn’t this just be…poetic? Getting stood up for your first date after years of fear and emotional isolation?
Wouldn’t that be exactly what would happen?
Thirty minutes. At first, you tried to tell yourself he was probably just running late from a class. After all, the walk from campus alone was around seven minutes. Maybe he’d gotten released late. Maybe he’d gotten held up with a professor or classmate. You stared at your Whopper with dead eyes now, watching the cold burger as all the heat drained from it. It was too late to save it now. And perhaps it had never been meant for you to eat anyway. Maybe it was your destiny to become a vegetarian or something.
Nonetheless, you sent a text.
Even though it felt pathetic.
You: Hey, uh…we still on for Burger King?
You: No rush, haha.
You: Just a little worried…
Was this revenge for ruining the first date? Some elaborate plot to get back at you? He seemed like a really sweet guy, but so had Jungkook after all. After several minutes without a reply, you began to accept the fact that you’d been thoroughly stood up. Your throat constricted, eyes going a little hazy, and resolved to wait a little longer. Just a little.
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Forty-eight minutes. No reply and no date. By then, plenty of customers had come and gone through the front doors, none of them him. You couldn’t bring yourself to take even one bite of food, the money wasted, the time wasted too. How much time had you wasted, really? How much of your life had you spent watering dead plants?
When Jungkook told you he wanted to break up, you’d been in disbelief. The two of you were close, so close it almost hurt, and the sudden end felt like a slap in the face or a jolt to the heart. You’d fought him in his room that night, the sunset turning the ends of his hair gold, turning his eyes gold too. He had no right being so handsome at a moment like that. You asked for a reason and he said he didn’t want any strings going in to college. He wanted to be unaffiliated. But you couldn’t accept that. You couldn’t accept that the time you spent together had meant so little to him, that the relationship was a dead plant from the start.
I was only dating you because I felt bad for you! he’d shouted once he’d had enough. Ever wonder why I never told anyone about us?! You’d been stunned then, stunned silent. Your brain was failing to process his words. He’d never spoken that way to you before. How much time had you spent in love? How much time had he spent pitying you? I was your only friend, for God’s sake! What did you expect me to do?!
Perhaps you’d been right after all. Perhaps giving yourself to other people was too dangerous, too painful. Perhaps loving someone wasn’t worth it, perhaps it could never be completely reciprocal. Perhaps any relationship you had would be a waste of time. Perhaps all you were destined to do was water dead plants until finally, you decided it was enough.
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One hour. You stood up from your seat, wiped beneath your eyes as the tears you’d been fighting finally crested over your bottom eyelid, and carried your tray to the garbage. You slid your trash into the bin and, sniffling, wandered out toward the exit. Customers avoided walking too close to you, likely noticing the tears that were now tracking stubbornly down your cheeks. You would have wiped them, had you had the energy to care.
But all you wanted was to go home and be alone.
Alone for a while.
You pushed your way outside, taking in the fresh spring day. No more rain, even though you would have welcomed it. It could have concealed your crying, your red nose and swelling eyes. You could have cowered beneath a bus stop and nobody would have noticed you. Nobody would have noticed.
Instead, the spring day was gorgeous, teasingly beautiful. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon, and people milled about through the street, smiling and chatting easily. Sniffling, you wiped your nose and joined them, walking down the sidewalk toward the subway entrance near campus.
You were overreacting. You didn’t even know this guy that well yet. He wasn’t a boyfriend, he wasn’t someone you’d given your whole heart to. He hadn’t betrayed you, because deep down you’d expected this. Maybe that’s what upset you so much. Being proven right.
You exited the crowd of people a block from the Burger King and walked with your head down toward the subway entrance. You were about to step on to the escalator when you heard someone call your name.
“Y/N!”
You turned slowly, eyes bleary from all the crying, and rubbed your tears away to see them clearly. Again, like he had some sort of sense for when you were most humiliated, Jungkook stepped toward you. His face was contorted in worry, thick brows knit, mouth agape as he stared down at you, scanning you.
You sniffled and nodded. “What?” you asked.
“What are you doing?” he asked softly, taking you by the crook of the arm and leading you toward a more sparsely populated alley beside the sidewalk. You didn’t fight. Didn’t have it in you. “Are you okay?” he asked, his own eyes watery as he looked down at you, forcing your head up as he held it between two big, warm hands.
You kept your gaze on the dirty ground. “Let me go,” you said, but it was weak.
“Y/N…,” he whispered, smoothing his thumb against your cheek. “Jesus.”
“What?” you asked, looking at him quick, fierce. “Are you pitying me?”
His eyes went wide and he shook his head. Looking at him now, he seemed pretty shaken himself. Why did the two of you keep bumping into each other like this? “No! No, that’s not it.”
“Then what?” you asked, shaking his hands off your face. “What is it, huh? Here to show off your money? Show me how good you’re doing while I’m working minimum wage? Huh? Do you like feeling superior?”
He swallowed hard, his expression revealing some sort of hurt you couldn’t name. “No! Please, it’s not that! Let me explain-,”
“No! You don’t have any right to ask me to listen to you!” you said, sobbing. You wiped your eyes with your forearm and shook your head. “Just leave me alone! Everyone!” you shouted.
Jungkook took your shoulders in his hands to keep you still and you tried a few times to shake yourself free, but to no avail. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
You kept crying, the ancient pain welling up from inside you like some age-old reserve finally erupting. Your body rocked with the force of your tears. “Isn’t it pathetic? The minute I start trying to reach out, I get stood up?” you asked with a manic laugh. “Doesn’t that just make you feel so good? Aren’t I pitiable?”
Jungkook’s own tears were pooling in his eyes and you could see them there, threatening to fall. “Please,” he said quietly.
You shook your head. “Isn’t this what you want? Someone to look down on? Someone to feel bad for?” you asked, face wet from the tears. “Can’t you just leave me alone?!” you shouted, loud enough to rouse the attention of a few people on the sidewalk behind Jungkook’s back.
Jungkook, without another word, sniffled sharply and pulled you flush against his chest. You struggled against his strong hold for a few moments, writhing, before finally submitting. Without even meaning to, you wrapped your arms around his torso and sobbed into his black shirt. He held you close, resting his cheek on your head. You could have sworn you felt a few tears hitting your shoulder.
But before you could get too comfortable in his embrace, you pushed yourself away and stared at him, bitter, angry, from several feet away. You looked at him like a feral thing, like an alleycat. And the way he watched you was different than it was that day by the bench. It was worried now, like a shadow had crossed over his face.
“I’m sorry-,” he began.
You shook your head and shoved past him. “Don’t talk to me. Ever,” you spat as you walked by, rejoining the stream of people on the sidewalk toward the subway entrance.
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“Are you sure you’re okay?” asked Sua as the two of you left class.
Half a week had passed, and you were eager for more time to distance you from that unpleasant day. You’d received a slew of texts from your blind date, all of which had gone unanswered. They ranged from the typical I’m so sorry texts to more in-depth explanations. Apparently, he’d gotten nervous. Cold feet, he’d said. Nervous for what, you didn't know and you wouldn’t ask. You were meeting at a Burger King for God’s sake. What could he have been that nervous about?
You glanced at her and offered a tight smile. “Mhm. I’m good. Just…uh…gotta get to work later so I’m thinking about that,” you said, over-explaining. Of course, lying just wasn’t for you.
Sua sighed and hooked an arm around your elbow, leaning close to you as the two of you walked down the hallway. You edged away just slightly, and it seemed she noticed as she turned to you with wide eyes. You hated to admit it, but everything with that Nochu guy had made you wary of even Sua. They did know each other after all. Had this been one big setup from the start? Were the two conspiring to hurt you?
You shook your head and patted her hand with a smile. Of course not. Of course that was crazy. But…something about this whole thing had you feeling crazy. “Sorry,” you said quietly. “Just…met up with someone from my past the other day and it didn’t feel so good.”
She raised her brows. “What? You never mentioned anyone like that before…,” she said, her brows lowering. She looked a little hurt.
You swallowed hard. “Ah, well it’s no big deal,” you said, flitting a hand with a choppy laugh. “It’s in the past for a reason.”
She pouted. “You know you can talk to me, right?” she said, eyeing you.
And with those words, your chest constricted a little and a small pang of guilt clenched your stomach. You didn’t want to end up hurting her. She was sweet and she wanted to be close to you. But what could you do if you just weren’t ready for that? How could you tell her you may never be ready?
Instead, you turned to her and offered a smile. “I know.”
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Blind Date: Y/N…
Blind Date: Please respond. Please.
Blind Date: I really really want to explain everything to you.
Blind Date: I know I really hurt you, but I want to explain.
Blind Date: Isn’t that selfish of me?
Blind Date: To hurt you and then ask you to listen to me?
Blind Date: I’m sorry.
Blind Date: I’m selfish.
You sighed as you watched your phone. The coffeeshop was quiet, fewer patrons now that the design students had finished their projects, and you felt safer looking at the onslaught of texts that just wouldn’t stop flooding your phone. You know you can talk to me, right? That’s what Sua said. She had reached out her hand to you.
And you’d pulled back.
You eyed your phone for a long few moments. Wasn’t it time to stop running away because you were scared of being hurt? Wasn’t it time to stop expecting someone to walk all the way across the tightrope to you and start walking to meet them in the middle instead?
Wasn’t it wrong to punish people for something someone else did?
You: Hey…
You: Sorry I haven’t responded. I just needed space I think.
Blind Date: Shit, I know. I’m so sorry.
Blind Date: You know I care about you though, right?
Blind Date: You know I wasn’t trying to hurt you on purpose, right?
You: I mean, we’ve only known each other a few weeks haha.
You: Honestly, I probably overreacted.
You: After everything that happened with that guy I told you about, I think I’m just a little too sensitive. And I took it out on you. And that was wrong.
Blind Date: No, no! Please don’t apologize. Jesus. It’s entirely my fault. All of it.
You: Haha it’s really not. I shouldn’t hold you and him to the same standards when you’re different people. That’s on me.
Blind Date: Can I see you?
You: Huh? So suddenly? I’m working…
Blind Date: The coffeeshop on campus?
You: Yeah…
You: Don’t come right now though!
You: I won’t be able to talk to you anyway.
Blind Date: I’ll wait. When do you get off?
You: Nine…
Blind Date: I’ll see you at nine.
You blushed, staring down at your screen. Since when was he so direct like this? And why did it make your heart race, just a little?
Sua was right. You definitely had a crush…
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You watched the front doors as you began cleaning up the coffeeshop. Closing time was coming soon, and with five minutes until nine you were beginning to feel that festering fear that you’d be stood up again. But as that voice returned to your mind, you were quick to quiet it. You wanted to believe in people again. You couldn’t live your life all alone.
So you swept beneath tables and propped chairs atop them. You cleaned the windows. You hummed a pop song to yourself, trying to keep your mind busy. When you glanced outside, you noticed the spring showers had returned and the rain was falling in bullets from the dark sky. With a sigh, you settled down on one of the recliners by the window, watching cars and buses and people speed by. You wondered which one would come inside despite the sign now reading ‘closed’. You wondered who this person was.
Before you realized it, you were dozing off, struggling to keep your eyes open as you reclined against the comfortable cushions. Your breathing became more rhythmic, deeper in your chest with each inhale, and you snuggled into the back of the recliner with a heavy sigh.
And that’s when you heard it. The distinctive ting of the bell dangling over the front door. Your eyes opened wide and you saw his reflection in the mirror beside you. Tall, dressed in dark clothes, hoodie up over his head and an umbrella in his hand, trailing droplets of rainwater onto the wood floor. You wanted to greet him right away, to get a proper look at him, but with your heart racing the way it was you couldn’t find the courage. It was enough for you just to respond to his texts. And now he was here, corporeal, right behind you.
You shut your eyes tight and feigned sleep.
“Y/N?” he called, and somehow you recognized his voice.
No way.
It couldn’t be…
You kept your eyes shut and curled your knees closer to your chest. Slowly, you heard him mill around the shop before pausing beside your recliner. His footsteps got closer, rounding the side of the chair to stand right in front of you. And, quietly, he laughed. And you were certain now. You knew exactly who he was.
You felt a warm, big hand press against the side of your head, smoothing your hair down, and heard a fond sigh. “Jeez,” he mumbled. You felt him crouch down beside your feet and his arm dropped to rest on the arm of the recliner. He gently rocked the chair back and forth for a moment, humming. “Don’t hate me too much, okay?” he asked in a whisper.
And, without another moment’s hesitation, you opened your eyes and stared right down at him. “Jungkook…?” you asked, scanning his face.
His eyes were round with shock and his whole person was wet. He gazed up at you from where he crouched on the floor and, mouth agape, said nothing. Wordlessly, you reached a hand out and touched his cheek with the pad of your index finger. Soaking wet. You sighed and pushed to your feet. Jungkook stumbled a little to accommodate you as you slipped past him to the counter. You rifled through the cabinets before producing a towel. By then, he’d followed you to the counter and was waiting on the other side. Sighing, you waved a hand, signaling for him to join you behind the register. He jumped and followed your silent command, and suddenly you were staring at his broad chest up close.
You swallowed your nerves and draped the towel atop his head. “Dry off,” you said, hopping up to sit on the counter. The lights in the shop were low, and the music still bumped lowly through the stereo. It might have been romantic, if it was anyone else. “Then we can talk.”
He nodded and fluffed the towel through his hair, obscuring his face from view for a few peaceful seconds. “I…I know I have a lot to explain.”
“Yeah,” you said.
He peeked out from behind the towel with one eye, watching you. “Are you mad?”
“Fuming, actually.”
He nodded and let the towel drop to his shoulders. “I expected that,” he said with a sigh. He came to stand in front of your knees, looking right at you with enough sincerity to knock the breath from your lungs. Just like that first date. “I don’t know where to start.”
“So you know Sua?” you asked, letting your heels bounce against the counter’s cabinets.
“Ah, uh, yeah,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “We’re in the same major, so…”
“And you transferred here?”
“Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes. “It was…no good out in Busan. I missed home too much.”
You nodded, watching your thighs on the counter. “Figures.”
He chuckled wryly. “You know me too well.”
“Thought I did.”
Carefully, he took a single step forward and you jumped, meeting his eyes like a frightened prey. “I never meant for you to carry all that with you for so long,” he said, brows knit and eyes hazy like he may cry. “I didn’t expect you to be so hurt.”
“That’s stupid,” you said. “You can’t tell someone you were only with them out of pity and expect them not to be hurt.”
“I know, I just…Jesus, I’m just stupid,” he said, raking his fingers through his hair. “Since I was moving away, I didn’t want you to waste your time waiting for me to come back, so I wanted to give you a clean break. Since I knew you wouldn’t wanna break up just because of distance.”
You stiffened. “You…what?”
“I didn’t mean it,” he said. “Any of it.”
You felt like you’d been hit right in the diaphragm, like when you play dodgeball and someone throws a ball at your chest. You sat up straighter and stared at him, watching him carefully. “You lied?”
He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, meeting your eyes seriously. It really looked like he might have cried. “I didn’t think it was fair to keep you from meeting new people and making new connections.”
“Then why didn’t you tell anyone we were dating?” you asked, brow low, scanning him for any signs of insincerity.
His eyes went wide. “I…I told you before, my high school friends…they weren’t so great,” he said, shaking his head. “I meant it when I was texting you about all that. How t’s hard for me to find good people.”
“And you didn’t show up to Burger King last time because…?”
He sniffled. “I meant what I said about that too. I was…really nervous. I was scared you’d be disappointed when you found out it was me.”
You sighed. “Why weren’t you just honest with me from the start?” you asked, all animosity draining from your voice as you saw him wiping his red, swelling eyes. “Back in high school. Why didn’t you just tell me all of it then?”
He sniffed and looked away. “I was scared you’d think less of me if you knew I was so insecure. And I didn’t want you to wait for me in college, not when you could’ve been out making new friends.”
“Well, the opposite happened actually,” you said with a dry laugh. “I got really worried that any friends I made would be doing it out of pity.”
Jungkook stiffened. “You…you did?”
You nodded. “Yeah…”
“Shit,” he breathed out, gripping his forehead with two hands. “I’m so stupid!”
Distantly, the sound of the rain picked up outside. You nodded. “Yeah.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said, looking at you once more, startling you with his sincerity. “I messed up so bad. I messed up everything.”
You blinked at him, standing nearly at eye-level, and slowly reached out to wipe beneath his eyes with your fingertips. “Well, you were right about one thing. I wouldn’t have accepted it had you not said what you said.”
He furrowed his brow and leaned into your touch. “I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you,” you said.
He swallowed hard and you watched his Adam’s apple bob. “Really?”
“Well, yeah,” you said with a shrug. “Now that I know everything, it’s hard to be mad at you for being a jerk when you were really just being an idiot.”
He stared at you, inching forward so he rested just between your knees. “I’m so sorry,” he said again.
“Yeah, I know,” you said, letting out half a chuckle as you let your hands drop to his shoulders, giving them a pat.
“Really,” he said, nodding once as he stared right into your eyes.
“Jungkook, it’s-,”
Before you could finish, he had closed the distance between you, one hand grasping your jaw as he pressed a kiss to your lips. You jumped back, eyes wide, and stared at him in shock. He too looked shocked, like he hadn’t meant to do it at all. He shook his head, eyebrows knit, stuttering out syllables that didn’t add up to anything.
“I-I-you-I mean-,” he sputtered, irises shaking. You noticed no small margin of fear in his eyes, like he was terrified he’d messed things up again.
I didn’t want to make any more mistakes, you know?
The words he’d trusted you with through the screen, his sincere thoughts. He really regretted it a lot, didn’t he? Your expression softened as he continued struggling to find words, and, without even really meaning to, you wrapped your fingers around his neck. He didn’t seem to notice, or he was too spooked to comment on it, but you slowly pulled him closer. Just like that day in high school, just like it was when you’d first entered hopefully into this fateful relationship, you leaned in and pressed your lips against his, shutting your eyes. Stunned, he was completely still for a moment before eventually his hands moved to your hips, then slid along your sides, then hooked around your lower back. You hadn’t intended it, but the kiss was getting steamier with each passing moment. You felt his hot breath on your skin as he pulled back to adjust his position before crashing into you again.
As the fever settled down, Jungkook was the first to pull away, but only by a faction so he could speak. “I love you,” he whispered.
You stared wide-eyed at him, only inches away from you, eyes heavy-lidded and forehead resting just barely against yours. “O-Okay,” you said. It was all you could manage.
He chuckled once, still embracing you as he stood between your legs. “That’s it?”
“You expect me to say it back?” you asked.
He smiled, staring down at you. “I guess not.”
“You’re gonna have to give me some time,” you said with a nod.
He nodded too, shutting his eyes as he held you close. Slowly, he moved to rest his forehead against your shoulder, resting against the crook of your neck. “I understand.”
“Like…a lot of time probably.”
“I know.”
You let out a shaky exhale and only then did you realize your hands were shaking. As silly as it seemed, this reunion was pretty jarring to your system. The foundation on which you’d rebuilt your sense of self had broken down beneath your feet, leaving you to stand among the rubble once again. Just like back then. Everything you thought you understood had been proven wrong.
But nonetheless, you smoothed your palms against his back and rubbed gently. Not to comfort him, but to comfort yourself. To let yourself know that, even though it was scary, it was okay to trust people sometimes. Self preservation shouldn’t come at the sacrifice of human connection. And even though you knew the road ahead was going to be long and that trusting Jungkook again would take a long time and a lot of work on his end, you were ready to try.
So, as the two of you left the shop under one umbrella, you drafted a text.
You: Sua, I have SO MUCH to tell you.
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laufire · 4 years
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Hi, yes. Remember when I said I was going to pace myself with Black Sails?
So, that was a fucking lie xDD
Out of curiosity I looked up when Madi first appeared and saw it didn’t happen until season three like. wtf. xD. So I decided to have a lazy weekend to meet her sooner, and to get to the good parts of Max’s story.
Some thoughts on s1 under the cut. CW for mentions of rape.
Max
First of all. My girl. I already adore her in s1 and I’m excited for what’s too come, especially after a quick look at some tags LOL.
Full disclosure, sometimes with finished shows, if I want to judge whether to lose time with a story when I already know I’m going to invest on a character, I like to check out if they have an anti-tag LMFAO. They’re a good place to see if there was concern trolling, smugness, resentment (and on whose behalf), etc. And Max is both short and GLORIOUS. My favourite one is the post bemoaning she outlived Blackbeard xDD
Now, for the storyline. Though I understand the sentiment about wanting sexual assault stories to just be gone, when it comes to case by case analyses I try to judge them on their own.
I’m trying to say this next part in a way that doesn’t get misinterpreted or twisted into something else, but my experience on tumblr is that happens either way, so: there are two things I value out of this storyline, as a narrative.
The first one is that it wasn’t “of no consequence”. That it tied to the plot, to Nassau’s politics, to key characters of the show etc. If I had watched the show live, I’d probably resent the focus Eleanor gets on this, but knowing how things end for each of them makes a difference. And instead, I can appreciate how it impacted Anne’s and Jack’s lives, especially, and later Nassau as a whole.
The second one, and most important, is the way it showcased who Max is. Because I find myself adoring who Max is. My dash had led me to believe she was great, that she would be my fave and that I would love her, but guys. You’ve been underselling her to me, okay. I love that she refused Eleanor’s protection again and again, knowing what it’d do to her. I love how she tried to maneuver her terrible situation. I love how when she came back to the brothel she immediately saw her opportunity to ally herself with Jack and become the Madam.
Related to that: I can appreciate how this storyline challenges certain ideas of “Good Victim(TM)/Bad Victim(TM)”. Because Max is a sex worker; because she refused Eleanor’s protection and instead went with the crew that had already raped her, etc.
I even loved her final conversation with Eleanor, of which I was wary as hell. But I loved that the take away of it all was that, yes, Eleanor put her interests and ambitions above her, and that now she will do the same (all while Max looked poised and vaguely threatening and Eleanor felt every hit and indirect). I can’t wait to see her gather more and more power and take Eleanor’s position, and then some.
And like. Other people I guess?
-Another character I feel you guys have undersold is Jack. He’s so no what I expected and I kinda love him? I love how quick on his feet he is. He caught my eye on the second episode when he dared talk back to his captain, and later when he kept going behind his back to do shit LOL. Like, with some of the ways fandom talks about him, I imagined he’d be kind of useless and cowardly but in an endearing way xD. But nope. I liked Anne a lot too (from the beginning, but I was a fan especially on her scene with Eleanor, where she just rips her a new one lmfao), and the two of them together. I look forward to see how they and Max work together.
-Silver’s ways of getting out of trouble are so hilarious and vaguely relatable to me lmao (obviously, I do it without a death toll duh. But the “talk and talk and spin things around and maybe at the end you’ll be fine because you’ve talked them into existence”, “fake it till you make it”, aka the Moist von Lipwig method xD, is definitely something I’ve used to avoid trouble xD). He reminds me a lot of Moist in general, actually. He just tries to be liked, guys xDD.
-Though I have no love lost for Eleanor, I don’t dislike her as much as I expected to. Again, part of it is hindsight. But also, the fact that Max was a lot less vulnerable to her than I had been led to believe? I mean, she put her foot down on episode two and maintained that position through the whole season, with no reconciliation in sight. Maybe it also helps that the show is very clear about who Eleanor is (how quick she is to say “Max chose this, not me”; how in the middle of her ire against Vane’s crew for raping Max she has time to further her agenda and get them to go to Flint’s --I like to think my compatriots killed them all in the finale lmfao--; the conversation where Silver points out that she wasn’t just angry about Max and that it was about her ego too, about wanting to prove what happened to those who crossed her). But yes, it’s mostly the Max part LOL.
-Slightly related to that: I really like Mr. Scott and I love that he’s now leaving Eleanor. LOVE IT. And yes, he’s going about it in good terms etc., but it doesn’t escape me that this came after his experience with the other slaves, and after explicitly telling Eleanor he’s a property to her family. Their relationship annoys me, far more than Eleanor/Max, and I want him to part ways from her (I’m spoiled about his ending so I’m not getting my hopes up for his arc, but I’ll enjoy every little bit I get).
-At this point, I’ve lost track of all the conspiracies going on on Flint’s crew LMFAO. I do love how he deals with them (though I in turn root for every member of his crew who thinks he’s shady as fuck and wants to overthrow him. I contain multitudes xD), and I love the actor, period (though I think he shoud’ve brought his mother to the show for a little cameo at least, just sayin’ xD). I wonder how I’d feel about him if I didn’t know he was going to eventually give me a big queer love story lol, but then again I’ve loved characters of his ~vibe before. HE’S SUCH AN ASSHOLE AND I’M ENJOYING IT WAY TOO MUCH LOL.
-I liked Miranda too, especially when she went behind Flint’s back to write that letter (the “impossible sacrifice [to apologize to England]” scene was A Lot. Like on practical terms I could be with Miranda, but gosh. I Felt That xD). I also loved how she described Thomas (aka hers and Flint’s paramour): “You think I can play devil's advocate. Thomas would have played that game with you from dusk until dawn. And everything you hold sacred, he'd leave in tatters. Not from malice or hate, but from love. From a desire to see the yoke of shame lifted from your shoulders.” Like. I just love it. The actor I’ve seen playing Thomas doesn’t make me feel anything on gifsets but I hope that changes (also, I love when she tells the priest Thomas “would’ve loved to have met you”. Like wtf lady. Were you and your husband going around seducing unsuspecting men into your marriage or what xD).
-We all know Billy Bones will survive the show but I’m still afraid for him woe. He’s just very likeable xD. I love that the crew is “we can forgive stealing, we can forgive him killing the other dude or lying and using the crew, but we can’t forgive Billy’s being thrown off the ship!”. AKA, the one thing Flint MIGHT not actually be guilty of LMAO. That’s so typical.
-I’m !!!!!!!! at the ship’s accountant LMAO (or whatever his official position is). I don’t remember his name because I keep calling him Ponder Stibbons (he just looks EXACTLY like how Discworld’s Ponder Stibbons must look, okay). When he bit that men OMFG O_O
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koganphrancis · 5 years
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WE ARE FINALLY, TRULY CAMLESS!
Season 9 Episode 6 Recap
First and foremost, I want to single out Noel Fisher for being a truly class act and returning to this demon show to give fans what happiness he could-the ONLY happiness a lot of fans have found here, myself included, in a very long time.
Next a serious piece of appreciation to Cameron Monaghan.  I know he worked hard on what little they gave him to do in the past few years, and I’m thankful he had Gotham to work on to actually use his talent while mired down in the stinky swamp this show has become.  In another actor’s hands, I don’t know that Gallavich would’ve been as captivating as it was-without Noel I know it wouldn’t have been, but Cam does deserve credit for bringing the other half of the couple to life-when they were on screen together, they had an undeniable magic happening.
Finally to any of the “fans” that are thinking or posting that we got this actually pretty shitty prison endgame because people pestered the show producers, writers, and actors too much to “bring Mickey back” may I please direct you to watch the early episode (I believe it was in Season 1, but certainly no later than S2) where Lip tells Ian prison must be a gay man’s dream with all the tattoos and unlimited sex partners.  THAT is John Wells’ perception of gay men and it has been since long before he even thought of breaking Ian and Mickey up, let alone bringing Mickey back.  
Personally I’m supremely disappointed this gay couple, like so many others, did not get a free and truly happy ending in canon, even though my friends know I predicted this could very well be all we got in the end.  FFS it’s the year twenty gayteen-couldn’t ONE iconic gay couple be given a nice, normal happy ending?  John Wells is a fucking dinosaur.  He needs to go to a sensitivity training camp run by Dan Levy, Emily Andras, and Ryan Murphy.  
Anyway-my last recap (baring a miracle) of this shit show is under the cut
(screen cap credit: justmikhailothings)
This episode was brought to us by White Castle.  I’d like to think they gave every dime they got from them to pay Noel, but I’m sure it went to the other “big name” guest stars.
Also the show was (disappointingly) written by Nancy “Ratfucker” Pimental, so you know it’s gonna be bad.
The show begins with Ian putting his stuff away up in the attic and claiming he wants to eat a shitload of White Castle.  Sure, whatever.  Everyone is trying to offer ideas of what they should all do on his last day of freedom, but suddenly THIS Ian is talking and making decisions for himself.  WHERE HAS HE BEEN THE PAST 4 SEASONS?  He only appears when Mickey’s about...
Debbie offers to bring him to a gay bar to “get laid” (flashing back to Monica in S3, ugh-it was a bad idea then, it’s a bad idea now), Ian says, “Pretty sure I’ll get laid a lot in prison.”  He says it with a grim expression, but considering how they end the show/who his cellmate is, he should be so lucky.  
Frank pretty much ignores Ian in the scene, and they certainly don’t interact.  Frank recommends Ian should read James Joyce’s Ulysses in prison, but other than the fact that it’s by an Irish writer and it’s extremely long and dense to get through (aka it’ll take Ian some time to do it), I don’t know if there’s any significance to his suggesting it.  
This scene with just a throwaway send off from Macy seems to be in line with John Wells’ vision to have the series fade away with the characters going about their daily lives rather than end, but I really think both Cam and WHM were screwed out of not having a final scene together with just the two of them.  Their comedy timing was always the best out of Macy and all the Gallagher kids.  The lack of respect is just astounding-especially since the show wasted so much time on rando actors/characters we’re never going to see again.
The rest of Frank’s story this week takes place with Liam in tow again and it’s just dumb and boring.
The next scene shows Fiona and Bored looking at an apartment-they’re going to move in together (why?  And when was this decided?  Not that I care, but they could’ve cut a scene of them bickering to show a scene where they arrived at a decision together for once).  It makes absolutely no sense-they have Fiona’s whole place to themselves, why waste $3000 a month living in some other apartment all to themselves?  Just because it has two bathrooms?  Do they shit that much?
And then, ooh, bad news for Fiona-her business partners require her to kick in another 25 grand or their investment will be dead in the water.  I still don’t know how she went from having $50K to invest to $100K, so this new twist is just more bullshit that I can’t care about.  
Then there’s a scene where we have to see Carl’s new girlfriend’s head in Ian’s lap.  WTF.  We need to see Mickey’s head there-or better yet, Ian using Mickey’s perfect thighs as a pillow.  
There’s a couple of boring, unfunny bits of the nun and then the priest (is it supposed to be hilarious that the dad from Full House is spewing out sex scenario names Nancy must’ve googled?) from Kev and Vee’s kids’ preschool with a dildo.  Seriously, Nance, not even close to funny, probably time to put yourself out to pasture, old girl.  This show has used dildos as a sight gag so many times at this point there’s just nothing more to do with them except maybe shove them up the writers’ asses.
Lip’s storyline this week is something out of very, very bad fan fiction: A movie star comes to their house!  Cuz, that happens, okay?  I’m sure studios and billion dollar make up companies don’t run any kind of background check on people they hire to babysit their clients-why would they?  It’s not like a crazed fan would rape/maim/kill the object of their obsession or anything.  ANYONE can be a star minder for one day, surely.  
BORING ALERT: Lip has a couple more running scenes this week, because no one got enough of that last episode.  This week the least they could’ve done was play the Friends theme song over the endless footage where he’s chasing Courtney Cox around on location in Chicago.  
While watching, I was wondering if Courtney’s role was written for her or they just settled for her when Roseanne Barr was suddenly unavailable-the stuff they had her say and do (except for the sprinting) seemed like it was written for a more jaded motherly type-but I’m jumping ahead.  Since we DID get CC, here’s a couple of stray observations.  1. She looks like a rich man’s Emmy Rossum, and 2. was part of the purpose of her storyline to throw shade at Jennifer Aniston?  Her character is named Jen Wagner, and there’s this whole dumb thing where Nancy’s trying to make, “Face it, you’re gorgeous” happen as her make up commercials’ tag line-which was reminiscent of Aniston’s ads for L’Oreal that stated “I’m/you’re worth it”.  
Meanwhile, after Fi gets the devastating news that she needs to come up with more money she tries to get out of taking the new apartment with Bored by lying to him and telling him she smelled mold there-HE RESTORES OLD HOUSES/BUILDINGS FOR A LIVING why does Nancy think that was a clever lie for Fiona to come up with?  How stupid is Fi supposed to be?
Back at the Gallaghers, Ian is practicing self defense moves with Carl and Kelly to prevent someone from raping him at knife point.  Everyone’s flipping each other in these scenes and it just felt like they wanted to give their stunt coordinator (and Cam’s double) a lot of (boring) shit to do this week...Ian’s final scenes being played out with this meaningless newbie (who Carl will probably wind up killing or dumping or both) made me very sad.  I guess maybe it was to build dramatic tension for when Ian’s in his cell later and the door slides open before he turns around.  But it’s lame because the scenes play like he’s JUST realizing prison’s rapey.  
Someone knocks at the door-my heart started racing but it wasn’t Mickey.  A guy who wasn’t in the jail scenes tells Ian Joselito sent him.  Ian starts asking him about the guys he was in county lock up with-WHO CARES.  The guy tells him the couple he’s asking about broke up when one of them got out and Nancy throws in a line about long distance relationships not working.  Joselito sent this Antonio guy to give Ian an “in-depth safety orientation about Beckman Correctional” before they send him up.   
Antonio draws Ian a map of the facility and tells him the areas to avoid, then draws a big circle with Mickey Mouse ears on it and tells him that’s “Disneyland” and he can get all good things there-smooth blowies, weed, Snickers...I’m sure ol’ Nancy thought she was being clever, but it just took me out of the scene hearing Antonio say “Disney” at least three times-reminded me of Cam’s publicity stunt “coming out date” there last year.  
Fi comes in and asks if anyone has any money (shades of S4 when Ian gave her his Fairy Tail tips) and that she needs 25 grand.  She’s so stupid.  And she’s honestly that out of touch with the family that she thinks maybe one of them has thousands of dollars they could give her?  (although, if she had only gotten to Lip before he tried to buy Xan...)
Fiona tells Ian, “Don’t forget, I’m driving you to prison tomorrow.”  And that’s the last time they see each other.  So much for family, eh, Nance?
A huge time waster of a scene where Kev and Vee pack up all their sex toys and then another drawn out scene of them throwing the stuff off a bridge happen.  Seriously, these are Cameron’s final moments on this shit show-they couldn’t think of anything for him to do?  This was all screen time Cam and Noel could have had, SHOULD have had!
I have to recap this next bit because it was beyond belief unrealistic-Frank steals a bicycle and goes following Katey Sagal and her ex-husband when they leave the hospital in an Audi-and Frank manages to keep up with them all the way to their nice neighborhood that must be some distance away since it was daylight when they left and dark when they get to their door.  Frank.  On a bicycle.  Kept up.  YOU’RE SUCH A DUMB FUCK, NANCY.
Then there’s more White Castle with the money shot of the food and packaging all over the Gallagher kitchen table.  Courtney gets to make a bulimia joke Nancy wrote into the scene.  Hope you weren’t looking for a Guest Starring Emmy, CC.  
Ian tells a “Carl story” about him puncturing his scrotum (on purpose) with a screwdriver when he was a kid.  Carl must have the most mangled dick and scrotum on the planet between his several botched circumcisions and now this.  Kelly asks him if that’s why he has “that scar”.  You know what, Nance?  While some people do in fact find scars sexy, self inflicted ones on scrotums don’t make that list.  
Debbie comes in, recognizes “the chick from the make up ads” having dinner with them.  I’m sorry-having WHITE CASTLE with them.  Now everyone else sees it too, and Kelly insists that CC says “the” line that Nancy made up to make happen-why do they keep trying to make meaningless things A Thing?  
After dinner, Jen is giving Ian advice about prison: “Find a hobby, it makes time go so much faster.”  Ian asks, “Did you learn that from one of your movies?” and she says she did 48 hours for DUI (hey, just like Ethan, Nancy!).  Jen really needed to get into making TP paper mache to get through 2 days?  
Debbie, desperate to make shit about her says, “Maybe I should go to prison too.  It seems like the only way I’ll find a real relationship.”  WHY are they acting like Ian’s going away on a single’s cruise?
Jen says to Debs that’s not true and Debbie says it is, that she’s unlucky in love (when the fuck has she ever been “in love”?)...”men, women...”  
Jen tells her she’s a special woman (how the fuck does she know?) and that she doesn’t want just anyone, she wants somebody “who gets you” and then for the second time in two weeks an older woman, without determining if Debbie is of age, pulls her into a kiss and the others (Ian, Lip, Carl, Kelly) stare like, “WTF?”  The kiss ends and Debbie looks all amazed like she did after the Mel kiss, but then Jen looks at everyone and says, “I played a lesbian once in a movie.”  And that’s what your research into that role led you to believe lesbians do?  Kiss random teens when they’re whining?  Lip starts the “Face it” line and everyone else chips in with “you’re gorgeous” and everyone laughs and I don’t get why it’s funny or even why it’s supposed to be funny.  Seemed like they were trying to drive home the point that ACTORS only PLAY gay characters, but no matter how convincing they seem, they are in reality the much more “preferable” heterosexuals we can feel safe with and really want them to be.  Fuck you, Shameless.
Also, Courtney/Jen is three times older than Debbie-CC is 54 irl and Debs is forever 17 now, so more Kash vibes for anyone who was missing those.  Also perpetuates the writer room’s fantasy that hot young actors would find middle and past middle age folks suitable sex partners.
Fi goes to Patsy’s Pies and there’s another hysterically lame scene where she opens the office safe and is counting out money-I don’t know how much a place like Patsy’s rakes in (or keeps in their safe) but I would think it would take a long time to accumulate 25K in CASH in this day and age of debit and credit cards.  She abandons that bad idea and winds up going down to the docks and drinking with a Patsy’s employee and reciting all her “mo money” problems while he counters with the facts that his car’s been repossessed and that he and his moms are being evicted from the projects.  Then the guy kisses drunk Fi but she tells him she has a boyfriend and that she has to apologize for lying to him (although, really, the underlying implication is she has to apologizing for never seeing that he’s always right about her being a dumb woman who has no head for business decisions).  
Lip and Ian have their last one on one scene.  After the movie star mom for a day leaves, Ian’s fake smoking on the front steps and Lip joins him.  Lip gives him money for his commissary account and Ian says, “I’ll pay you back,” (but not thank you) and Lip says, “No you won’t,” and I’m at home saying, “Lip, why are you being such a dick?”  Ian goes to hand him the lit cigarette, but pulls it away when Lip reaches for it, but then gives it to him and rubs his shoulder.  I guess this is supposed to signal to us that they’ve said everything that’s needed to be said?  Except we’ve been watching and we know Lip is supposed to be a mouthy motherfucker and in the old days they would’ve had actual conversations that they DID NOT have at all-all their conversations this season have been short and awkward.  Ian’s been made into a fucking mute now, even in these final moments.
Their last scene should’ve been in their room, in their beds-Ian can’t sleep and they talk things out in the dark like the brothers they used to be, but no.  Can’t have that.  
The Fiona drama finding out Bored has a wife, kid, and house and then drunkenly smashing up her leased vehicle is so “bad soap opera” I can’t believe this show is still on the air.  If we were supposed to cry for Fiona as her make up  and fake blood ran down her face after her millionth time of being let down by a guy everyone else could see was an ass from the start-well, we just didn’t.  
Next day the Gallaghers are waiting in the living room for Fiona to take Ian to prison.  Kev steps up to drive them all in his truck.
They get there, get out, and Ian looks around, then says to his family, “All right.  I thought Geneva and some of the others would be here but...”  Thank christ they weren’t!!!  The show/Ian wasted too much time on those randos as it was.  However, credit where credit is due-the show got us all the way through this swan song arc without bringing up Terror once!  But I digress, back to our scene.  Carl says, “You can only count on family, dude.”  I scream BULLSHIT at my TV screen.  
Debbie says, “I’m gonna miss you.” 
Group hug.  Kev says, “Don’t get too raped in there, aight?”  Everybody breaks apart, the moment ruined.  Kev says he doesn’t know what to say in these situations (and clearly no one can improvise but Noel).  Vee says, “How about goodbye and I love you?”  
Kev says, “Goodbye, man. I love you.”  
Ian says, “I love you guys too.”  Wasting it on the wrong fucking people!  All of them-except Kev and Vee who never voiced an opinion-didn’t care if went to prison!  
Ian looks at Lip, walks over to him.  “Hey, uh, thanks for being my brother.”
Lip, still a dick, says, “Never had a choice.”  That’s right, bitch-you didn’t get to choose to play the interesting gay brother, you got cast as the dick know-it-all who never cared about anyone but himself.  
During this entire farewell scene I was sitting at home, strangely unmoved.  I felt nothing watching it, probably because everyone was such an asshole about Ian going to prison all season, plus never caring about what he was doing all last season, plus the fact that none of these characters are the characters we first got to know.  It hasn’t been a case of character growth and development, it’s been character assassination and retconning.  
Ian breaks the hug.  “All right.  See you guys.”  He goes to the gate, shows his papers, gets let in through the gate, waves to his family as he walks past the fence, walks into the prison, slaps his phone (wouldn’t he just give that to Lip to hold on to?  Battery’s gonna be dead by the time he gets out) and watch (probably ditto on the watch battery) onto a counter, strips down so we see one last quick shot of his naked ass (what, no cavity search?  And just how long has it been since we’ve seen his unclothed ass anyway?), and a glimpse of the boob tattoo.  
Next we see him in his yellow “I Love You, Philip Morris” jumpsuit, carrying his bedding through the GP.  He’s attracting “fresh meat” attention and Cam actually does a really good job of looking a bit scared while trying to look tough and “don’t fuck with me”-there’s a vulnerability there, but he’s not overplaying it, and he’s certainly not overplaying the fronting.  His acting was really powerful in that scene.  
They put him in his cell and slam the door and he winces a little at the sound, then he sadly looks at his 6X8 foot (or whatever the dimensions are) room, puts his bedding pile on the top bunk and leaves his hands up there and lets his head hang down.  He hears the door slide open behind him again and gets this, “Ugh, here we go,” expression on his face and turns around to see it’s Mickey standing there.
Me at home: Not what I wanted for end game but I’m still thrilled to see the man, the myth, the legend again anyway.  He’s all beefy still from when he was shooting Fonzo and looking good.  
Ian’s looking at him like he’s not sure he’s really there.
Mickey mildly says, “I rolled on the cartel I was working for and in exchange guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?”  
Ian’s got tears in his eyes now and says, “Holy fuck.”
“Oh hey-I got bottom,” Mickey says as he points to the lower bunk.  Then he walks past Ian and says, “So...you’re on top,” in a bit of a sing-songy voice. 
He flops down onto the bunk, puts his hand behind his head-and check out the gifs closely, especially on Twitter-in the jumpsuit you can see the outline of his dick and it “twitches in interest” as the fan fics say (don’t know if Noel did it by adjusting his thigh, don’t know if it was intentional or what-but it was a sight to see whatever the case).  He does a lip lick/bite combination, Ian’s face lights up a bit and he gives a smile, he crawls onto the bunk on top of Mickey, pinning his hand down while Mickey smiles softly, they gaze at each other a beat, Ian gently strokes Mickey’s cheek, Mickey wraps his free hand behind Ian’s neck, their noses boop, and Ian sort of gently thrusts into a kiss (it was good-definitely had a bit of a sexual vibe to it), which Mickey expertly returns.  It was a very good kiss, tender and loving, but that scene needed words, needed Ian to say SOMETHING to Mickey-needed an “I’m sorry” and a “thank you for always being here for me” and exchanged I love yous.  Neither of these boys are ever told they’re loved!  JFC, nine seasons and the show couldn’t manage to work mutual ILYs in ONCE?  Fuck you, Shameless.  They didn’t even say each other’s NAMES!  
Mickey (and Noel) looked so fucking good lying there-relaxed and happy, finally back with his love where he’s always belonged.  Even when his eyes are closed, they’re perfect.  The angle the scene was shot at, we see more of Mickey’s microexpressions than Ian’s.  
An after the credits began scene of them lying in an afterglow embrace would’ve been nice.  Mickey could’ve mocked Ian’s hair (give us one last “Fire Crotch” you cowards!) and boob tattoo (or offered to fix that for him while they’re in the joint).  
Mickey’s got new ink on his forearm we never see clearly.  Until and unless we’re told otherwise, I’m saying it’s a big ginger root ;)  Bam.  
On a personal note, and not to rain on anybody’s parade, while I believe 100% in Drunk Crew Guy and what he said, I really don’t see us getting another scene in the finale.  This show’s attention span is down to nothing now, and I can’t see them dragging these guys back out now that they’ve given us (shitty) endgame. I don’t think enough time will have passed to let them out of prison by then, I think those final episodes are going to be about Fiona leaving and not Ian and Mickey getting to Mexico-and I can’t really see Mickey being able to go back there now that he’s crossed a cartel.  My feeling is the show filmed 2 possible endings using Noel to choose from-one ending with them in Mexico and the other being the one we got.  They probably ripped off The Shawshank Redemption too much with a Mexico ending and decided to go with this “original” idea instead.  I’d love nothing more than to be wrong, and to get one more scene of these two free and happy.  Cam’s question mark at the end of his farewell post and the fact that I do trust everything DCG said leaves a spark of hope burning in my heart, but hopefully I can back away from endless online speculation and theories about it over the next 5 months.  If it happens, beautiful.  If it doesn’t, at least we got one last look at Mickey and he’s getting dicked down and the love he’s always deserved, even if I hate the fact they’re locked up and will be in danger whenever they’re not in their cell-not to mention this is the shitty way gay love stories get handled in general, but I must not go down that path again in this recap.  
I want to add that Mickey didn’t sound all that “Mickey” in his scene, but maybe he didn’t need his swagger and was being more “real” to let Ian know he had a choice (as always, Mickey didn’t force himself on Ian-he let him come to him).  And kudos to Cam for not doing his hideous Chicago accent for most of the episode.  
There WAS love and chemistry in that final scene.  Just sucks that we don’t get it anywhere else in the show and they wasted so much time last night that could’ve been given to Cameron and Noel.  
But hey, I’m finally free of recapping ;)  While I’m sorry the Gallavich parts are now over, I’m not sorry I can finally quit missing what we used to get while watching what the show now does.  Mickey and Ian are back together now, so, fuck you, Shameless.  
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ibitchytimemachine · 5 years
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Real Men Don’t Make Sandwiches
anenglisheducation
How a well-constructed sandwich brings together two unlucky and unlikely souls: first Vegeta, the prince of a dead race who has bound himself to Earth for honor; the other Krillin, a lowly monk who just can't catch a break. A comedy. Sorta.
Read on Ao3 or on fanfiction.net.
As always, my thoughts below the cut, Spoilers!
Ok so I had just finished my submission for Smutfest, and I needed something refreshing to read. So I was looking through some recs (I can’t recall where I found this one) and I came across the idea of a VegetaXKrillin Buddy Cop-esque comedy. I honestly hadn't ever thought about this pairing, but it works. Krillin’s cautious and twitchy characterization works really well with Vegeta’s tsundere. I must say that this is in no way a romance. Ok so maybe a bromance, the true Bromance we need in fact. 
The prologue did not pull me in. From the tags, I had this idea about the story being this ridiculous amalgam of situations and after reading the prologue I have to admit I almost stopped reading. But just like with anime, I had to give it the three episode swing and I pushed through. I have to admit after the prologue it gets much better. 
So I just mentioned the tags. The Ao3 tags are a work of art
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This really gives a sense of the dry humor that you will find in the story. It is simply hilarious. You have to have a dry wit with a touch of slapstick to really appreciate the beauty of the humor, which I must admit describes my humor perfectly. If you read the tags and think “WTF?!” and giggle a little, you will probably like this story. 
This story really does revolve around sandwiches. Krillin just falls into the job of making tens of sandwiches a day for Vegeta. Krillin is living at CC, we find out later why, and one day Vegeta is hunting down a chef to create food and there is Krillin making a sandwich. So thats how it starts. Vegeta gets lots of sandwiches and Krillin tricks him into answering questions in exchange for said meals. 
Vegeta wants to kill Krillin, because of course he does. When he thinks about Killing him though he remembers the delicious sandwiches and falters, thinking that if he does kill cueball, he won't get the delicious sandwichy goodness. SO this of course leads Vegeta to believe that pig, one of the meats on the sandwiches is some sort of poison that is supposed to calm him down. 
Theres no action (until the end of the story but we will get there in a minute). Really the story takes place in the kitchen, Vegeta eating sandwiches, trying not to kill Krillin and then taking a bite and realizing how he doesn't want the sandwiches to stop so he decides to spare him. This internal monologue happens several times. Each time is funny because it sounds so much like Vegeta. This writer has pegged the characterizations of both of these characters. Krillin is timid, until he's not, he is even tempered, rational, kind. Vegeta is an asshole. Bulma makes a few appearances and her characterization is also spot on. She's demanding and overbearing, but not in a bitchy way (until she is a bitch, but that is also on point for the character), and she pegs issues the characters are having with little real input from them. 
A few of my favorite jokes. 
1. Vegeta starts to believe that Goku has adopted all of earth as pets. He then comes to the conclusion that since Vegeta doesn't want to kill Krillin that he has adopted Krillin as his own pet. (this leads to a fantastic moment in the second to last chapter if you wanna know about it, READ THIS STORY)
2. Theres this moment that Krillin is telling him about his fight with Bacterian. Krillin is talking up how bad this dude smells and is leading up to the no nose punchline, the best part of this whole interaction is when Krillin is talking about Some people who have some of their senses crosswired, (certain sounds you see colors etc) and Vegeta just blasts out “oh yeah synesthesia” Ok so I am not a great story teller, but trust me, in context this is gold. 
3. Vegeta grants Krillin a favor and Krillin hugs Vegeta. This goes about as well as you can imagine. 
Vegeta is suffering from major culture shock. Realistically he knows nothing about Earth except people are crazy. At one point he tries to teach Krillin to eat. There is a goldmine of this long build up of slightly ridiculous that ends with this burst of crazy that is leads to these one liners that are hilarious. I went back to find a few that would be funny to put in here for the favorite jokes parts, but without the build of the context they are super flat. 
The driving force of the story lay in the sandwiches and the questions Krillin asks. Krillin asks a question and the Vegeta has this inner monologue that lasts an enormous amount of the chapter. Vegeta argues with himself in these monologues. He fills in some of the gaps about the PTO, and his life. The world building in this story is beautiful. I read a comment on FF that this reader considers the background canon, but honestly, its really good. My favorite bit of lore concerns the creation of the Saiyans. The creation myth is told in one of Vegeta’s inner monologues, and really it is fantastic. I could get behind this as a creation myth for the Sayians. I don't wanna spoil this because it is really phenomenal. 
So the three things this author has done well is characterization, world building and humor. 
I will say the last few chapters were not my favorite. There was this wonderful build to the end and with the revelation of why Krillin is around CC so much. This is a heavy moment. Krillin is not eating, he has withdrawn, he has been resurrected twice, which means he has died twice, he's a pity party of one. He's suffering from depression. Throughout the story you get the sense that something serious is wrong with Krillin, and it all comes to a head when he tells Vegeta to just get it over with and kill him. Of course Krillin doesn’t want to die but wow this was an emotionally charged moment of the chapter, and really for me the turning point of a chapter that up until then I thought was meh. This was a beautifully written moment because this writer really paints the perfect picture of someone who is depressed but is being forced to put on the airs of normalcy.  Anyone who has ever felt with soul crushing depression, and has had to force themselves through it knows that eventually it all just blows up. You either end up in bed not moving, not eating, not sleeping (or sleeping too much) doing nothing, or you loose your shit and yell and scream and make an ass out of yourself. It was a slow burn to this point, but worth it. Event hough I said the first part of the chapter was not my favorite, I don't think you could really change it. You see this is the climax of the story (duh) and there is a mood shift. Krillins depression is coming to a head and he can't really handle the situation anymore. So the once odd couple, slightly light hearted banter is replaced by Krillin having an emotional meltdown. It is really wonderful writing. 
The last update was a year ago on October 31, 2017. The story could very well be finished at this point, however the writer has set it up to have another two parts. The story on FF is complete (except for the continuations) and it is being moved over chapter by chapter to Ao3. As the chapters get moved over, they are being edited. The edits are for spelling and grammar only (as far as I can tell). The unedited chapters on FF.net are not bad, but there are some errors. None of these errors are bad enough to break the immersion of the story so if that is something you are worried about, don't, unless you are one of those people, then all I have to say is you shouldn't be reading MY reviews because I know how bad of a writer I am. There are 23 chapters on FF and I think as of this posting 13 on Ao3. The last chapter was uploaded to Ao3 about a month ago, so hopefully the writer is gonna begin writing again once they are all moved over.  
Either way. I 100 percent recommend this story. Its funny if you have a certain kind of humor. It is smart. The world building is fantastic. Characters are on point. The build is fantastic, not only to the emotional climax, but also the build to the punchlines (and they just keep on giving). No really go read this story... Plus sandwiches. 
If you liked this review, after you check out this fic, head over to my A03 and check my stuff out too!
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critical role episode 48 campaign 2 notes and funny lines post break edit:this has detailed notes on all the stuff that happened later in the episode including physical descriptions near the end. enjoy ya nerds
don’t steal the books from a high powered mage; don’t kill the dude; beau turning into cad; look at beau planning for the future
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is marisha flirting with matt via matt playing yasha and beau flirting with yasha?
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‘tea the international language’ but no earl grey
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wensworth the goblin
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coming from Cad ‘im a fine tea maker’ is kinda a threat tbh
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elf that isn’t white/European??? yay! also really old elves are cool
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beau and cad tag teaming a political chat with a mage this can’t end poorly
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Nott: :beau ruins every situation shes in and is very abrasive
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send the freaking cat!!! why not?? caleb my dude
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god i miss allura and gilmore currently
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fucking fuck don’t lie to the mage beau plz stop this is painful ‘you’re not wrong’ sure blame the ancient sea god
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‘on the verge of returning’ yea no duh you let him out 2/3 of the way so fjord could get a spell
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‘we found a thing’ so smooth and eloquent beau ‘it was presented to us as the happy fun time ball’
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‘butter fingers with magical items’
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beau getting a geography lesson from a very old powerful elven mage
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‘magical geometric orb that has the ability to bend time and space and fate’ which is kept in a hot pink magic bag that happened to ‘fall into [their] lap’
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‘if youre down im down is what im saying... i have a few slots open in my loyalty bank if you’re willing to pay rent’ says the 20 some human who punches things to the centuries old wizard ‘
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liam stress eating
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cad’s hope in the group is heartwarming
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tower metaphors and a conversation!!!
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caleb reading shitty romance novel and nott eating a fish outside a mage’s tower in the morning sunlight in a major city
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caleb takes the rear
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first name drop and a while
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holy shit 200 years of magic using
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cad explaining materialistic nature of the rest of the party to elf dude is hilarious
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teleportation circles?????? in return for access to the sphere!! oh shit thats good
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or candy
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crap. no one has insight checked this dude and they gave him the happy fun ball and made a deal kinda.
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‘how do we prove our loyalty?’ ‘by not fucking me over’ sounds like a good plan
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is this guy just caleb’s patron now on the low idk this is how my head works and he said learn
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“you have a geometric shape that makes babies?” “yea they talked about that”
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fjord just kills the dude
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‘i got banishment on hold just in case’ *cackling laughter*
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i agree with elf dude, him not knowing anything about the dodecha is more concerning than him knowing about it
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ALL THE CITIES FROM CR1 MENTIONED FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! I STILL MISS ALLURA AND GILMORE
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good to know the pink bag protects from divination on this plane but just this one
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jester and the traveler figurine
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cad included the Traveler in the ‘chaotic forces’ i still think the traveler is some kinda arch fey evil things idk its real late here and this is incoherent
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‘well, thats been my morning tea‘ 
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caleb getting additional tour
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good aesthetic for the room tbh
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letting weird people in for morning tea is entertainment is a mood and something i strive to be able to do without getting murdered one day
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so yasha and caleb both have gotten the ‘stay with friends’ chat from a powerful being which is nice. but also the ‘use who you need to’ going to caleb is vaguely concerning
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personalized biscuits [bourbon, cinnamon, lobster, fish and three unknowns]
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‘caleb, what happened in there?’
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cad not believing caleb’s bullshit and opening doors for caleb warms my heart
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‘if this isn’t the death of us, and if not hes a good ally. somethings gonna be the death of us so [yolo]’
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‘you can’t bullshit everyone in this world’
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cad talking about beau telling the truth: ‘you’re not very good at it but you tried
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jester looking out for nott and her home town
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caleb and beau being cute while also giving each other shit is the most sibling like thing
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omg going back to allfield that was so long ago for fucks sake BRYCE my person thank god
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jester had a boy band phase its cannon and i think the girls had a sleepover in jester’s old room. also marion never leaves the hotel. THE RUBY NECKLACE MY HEART AND THE HONEY AWWWWW
‘the army of men and women and inbetween that will do as i want them to’ god i adore her being protective of jester
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also the fact matt makes such a good mom why is he like this
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travel time!!!! ‘roll for initiative’-tal
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how does matt keep these notes so organized and remember all the npc names
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the ranger/beast master in Laura is coming out with nugget
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caleb is a devout cat person and jester is the definition of a dog person
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nott refining oil on a magical moving cart, while jester reads a romance novel and trains a dog,
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Dyren- Beau’s roommate at colbot souls; ‘taught beau lots of really cool things’ got sent to a warfront. shaved head, dark clothes, buff b/c ‘been workin out’, ‘do you love her?’ they had ‘good times’, then literal booty call, and dropping locations, Dyren was in Bladegarden. ‘fierce eyebrows, pointed nose’
                    OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES
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Vandren info drop to Fjord ‘he was making amends’
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Dyren responded and was hurt in Bladegarden but is safe. Beau looked immediately worried and happy about jester’s imput [’sounded way into you’]
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empire kids chat and caleb admitting insecurities about powerful people and being scared about the consequences of his actions and the group’s actions. caleb is scared about being forced to leave for safety and being ‘flayed alive’. my thoughts are he would leave if he became a threat to the others by being there or vise versa. trent would extort that b/c hes a dick
“caleb, unfortunately, you don’t get to choose who cares for you” you’re fucking correct Beau
“the problem with friends is that you have to care for them”
walks away “wow cool caleb! see- jester thinks you’re cool because shes your fucking friend!”
me too Tal “everything i like about those two characters in one conversation”
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5 years since Caleb left Trent and crew ie had a nervous breakdown
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gustav left town after being freed and trostenwald now has a WV accent that is too familiar
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100 extra soldiers in allfield. bryce is still up and kicking and wonderful. stuff ‘got this far east [quickly]’. the attacks came from underground apparently so fuck. the fields were burned, building destroyed a bit then they [Xhorhasians] left
“good thing is they’ve already been attacked so lightning doesn’t strike twice” oof thanks bryce
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beau just dead ass asking for illegal writing statements
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fjord having a thank u jesus bryce moment
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jester giving cad a pretty present is ‘so exciting’ and precious
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Cad not knowing cookbooks were a thing!!! and not being utterly literate enough to understand it
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wtf happened to liam’s voice in the ‘main export is oysters’ thing
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FELDERWEN!!!!!
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a dozen squads of 50 ppl each patrolling felderwen area so rippppp
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Nott knows where the halfing’s house is.... interesting... and is heavily drinking
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BLUE FLASH
elven woman in fine clothes of green and black ----lady vest durogna the arch mage of antiquity serboros assembly
a male figure in deep blue robes, older pale elf, fine clothes, the flash came from him----- martinette luden’th de____ arch mage of domestic protection
CALEB KNOWS THEM BOTH FROM THE ACADEMY AHHHHHH
he just lays flat and hides in the cart internally: ‘nopenopenopenope’
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several burned buildings, a warehouse, an inn, apothecary and several houses
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ohhhh shit the halfling was the owner of the apothecary and nott was looking for the shit she had been sending back this whole adventure....... im sad now that was confirmed
havent found a body of yeza
luke is yeza’s son at old edith’s house
            halflings only produce halflings according to something i read at some point but forget where sooooooooo
shattered vials and materials and house stuff
CHILDREN'S TOYS
locked basement which nott knows of?? Nott is anxious and impatient when the door doesn’t open. jester fails, yasha rages and at a 19 and doesn’t break the door. ‘it wasn’t [trapped]’ but dispel magic worked to open it.
a 15′x15′ room, tossed ‘not like you remember’ to nott, a 2x3 iron chest. a single chair in the center of the room. definitely a struggle with heavy impacts and blade scratched on wall
             nott was the torturer from the goblin tribe
chair was placed in the spot after the struggle
this was where he [yeza] kept chemicals according to nott
poisoned iron locked box (dull black glass)  inside a retractable silver tripod to hold something atop it, 3 empty vials 1 full one with a liquid/gas fog like dull colored thing, a pile of destroyed notes [two pieces of still legible paper which have props]
            dunamous field, causes ppl slow to be slower or faster, ‘captured crin operatives’ dunaments and dunamacy, origon gliffs, exist outside established schools of magic, theory in deeply rooted in arcana taken for granted, rooted in _____ town, 12-16 months to refine, word has found me that trent’s kiddos have knacks for this things, dreams are thrilling
well shittttt
            crin on battle fields, ‘breaking fields of fate, fuck the raven queen
SHIIIIIT
a piece of dunemous
dodecha goes in tripod according to beau
chair facing chest
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cricks did this apparently
a little under 100 crowns guard killed, 4 civilians burned
soldiers just ‘slowed down’ 
left via tunnels and collapsed them behind them
-------
nott dont be a bitch and don’t get mad at caleb and call them ‘his people’
-------
cad picks up caleb and ‘youre not at fault here, youre the solution here. don’t let her anger... its not about you’
my HEART
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the chest is too big for the haver sack but fits in lorenzo’s bag of holding
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people have entered and exited since the attack and left the chair and stuff
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lots ‘o chairs
-------
nott needs to see ledith and uke (?) and not flip the fuck out
‘humble hobble’
nott looked like halfling plump face, braids, tan skin
edith- human older, grey hair, beady eyes, ever present smile like face
          LUKE IS HER SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CANNON
         *edit- rewatching this and seeing ever one’s faces “wheres my son?!” particularly laura/liam/travis just hurt. liam just looked up after a second and travis did his face he does and laura just stiffened and eyes and hand to face. caleb/liam who knows just hugs himself the rest of the convo. marisha is note taking and fuck the video off now
about 5 yrs old, blue eyes, tan/light brown skin, halfling
gave him the doll of the king
IM GONNA CRY NOW BYE
‘HES PROABLY DEAD NOW TOO LIKE I THOUGHT YOU WER’
yenza locks him away when ‘the mean lady comes by’
mean lady has pointy ears and comes often, luke was kept in room, luke was pushed out of the house and told to go somewhere safe so he ran to edith’s house and ‘everything was on fire’
‘im not strong enough to come back yet but know that [im stll thinking of you and i send things] and i hope dad sends them to you.“ fuck my heart
“in my heart i think he is” “well don’t die”
-------
the elves are gong to the ruins of yenza’s house
-------
marisha looked so betrayed
tal ‘i was waiting for the riegel shoe to drop’
WOW
HEY CALEB- WOOOW
-------
we’ll pick up hiiiere
fuck you sam and matt and everything abou this my heart is just FUCKKK
ummm so enjoy the frantic poorly taken notes <3
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bambamsgotjams · 6 years
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Badboy!Chan
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okay so i’ve had this idea in my google docs for a long time now
and for some reason i just never got around to completing it???
so i hope you all enjoy it because it’s been in here for months and its time for me to start posting more content on my blog
chan is basically known as the scariest man on the university campus
well maybe not the scariest
but defiantly the most intimidating guy you’ll ever meet
what really gives off his intimidating vibe is mainly all of the dark clothing and chains he’s seen wearing around campus
like he basically lives in ripped jeans, leather jackets, and dark tshirts
he has some pretty curly gray hair that looks really nice with his tan skin
omf imagine this
bad boy bang chan with an eyebrow piercing
omg i would live for that
if it wasn’t for the fact that almost every student was terrified of him
all the ladies would probably be pinning over him and probs some of the men too tbh bc chan is a looker
but anyways chan is lowkey kind of offended that everyone is too scared to talk to him because he really isn’t that bad of a guy
his whole life he just kind of grew up with this thought that everyone loved bad boys
thats basically what his high school days taught him
but it turns out that he didn’t really need to change from his normal cute self to this bad boy but it was a little too late for that because everyone already had this attitude that chan was not someone anyone should mess with
he has a couple good friends that don’t mind him for his personality like his roommate woojin who knows the real chan after living with him in a dorm for almost 3 years
and new freshman changbin who looks up to chan and tries to act like a bad boy too but according to everyone else he fails and is basically just like a small kitten
and then savage smarty pants minho who could really careless about wtf chan wears and does
as long as he isn’t doing something stupid or something that he’ll regret because minho really does care about him a lot but he’d never admit that publicly
woojin, minho, and changbin are really the only friends that chan has and even though he wishes people would stop looking down upon him for his outside appearance he really does love and cherish the friends that he has
so basically half way though every year the student body holds this big ass part to celebrate finishing their finals
and even though there really should be adult supervision the professors and administration could care less
so you can basically put the pieces together and figure what kind of shit goes down
ding ding ding
thats right
lots of horny teenagers and alcohol
chan and woojin would normally go together for a couple minutes before everything turns into chaos
but this year the decided that for some goddamned reason that they would stay for a little longer
mainly to make fun of the way some of the drunk students would dance or act stupid and stuff
minho decided to stay in and work on homework minho you nerd
and changbin had been invited off campus for the weekend by his best friend felix to go check out this new arcade that was just put in a mall strip in their hometown
and this is where you come in fellow reader
you were just a new transfer student who had just finished their first sophomore semester on a brand new campus
you had tagged along with your roommate and her friends to the campus party
and wow were you overwhelmed
you guys had arrived at the party just as the chaos had started
and basically almost everyone there was either already tipsy or just flat out wasted
you had tried your best to stay close to your roommate so you wouldn’t get lost
but the crowd of people was just so pushy and everyone was literally all over the place so you did end up getting separated
for the sake of trying to stay away from the madness you headed off to the side of a small bar table and sat down on one of the benches
there wasn’t a whole lot of people around there expect for a couple playing a shot game, the bartender sighing because he rather would be doing something else, and these two boys who didn’t look too much older than you
one with dyed blonde hair who wore a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey hoodie
the other in all black with a silver chain, grey hair, and a very hot eyebrow piercing
you ended up making eye contact with the later and his gaze on your own made your blood pulse
he look kinda intimidating with his outer appearance but his eyes looked soft and inviting
you looked away and broke eye contact with him and you were basically blushing as red as a ripe strawberry
after a few more minutes of you just sitting at the bar watching everyone having fun
this weird smelling boy walked right up in front of you and flashed you a gummy looking smile
his body smelled terribly of alcohol and you wanted nothing more than to get out of there knowing that something bad was gonna happen
but of course the boy just had to speak up and pull you away, asking you to dance with him
you wanted so badly to object his offer but his grip on your arm was strong and you weren’t exactly the strongest girl yourself
he pulled you into the crowd of students dancing and he too began to dance around you
well more like he was dancing on top of you
you just kind of stood there as stiff as a pole and you were frozen in shock not knowing how to respond
it wasn’t until you felt him starting to grope your body when you tried slipping away
but he was too quick and held tightly onto your waist
you could feel him starting to slightly grind his body against yours and you were like
“yep this is how im gonna die”
you kindly asked the man to stop but he didn’t answer you so you got a little bit louder until you were basically yelling at him to stop
and then you felt him being ripped off your body
you were confused for a second and then turned around to see what exactly was happening
there was the boy who had been harassing you lying on the ground as the very attractive gray haired boy from the bar had his fist raised
the boy on the ground was huddled into fetal position with a red mark on his cheek
everyone around you turned to see what all the yelling was about and stopped to watch as your savior continued to beat up the boy
he only stopped once he saw your terrified eyes looking at him
he cursed to himself and looked to the boy on the ground back over to you before walking up to you and asking if you were okay
you stared at him in shock because wow this boy was even prettier up close
but also he did just beat the shit out of a boy on the ground
asshole deserved it
you nodded your head quickly and thanked him
you noticed as the grey haired boy suddenly started to become nervous and flustered as he rubbed the back of his neck
“c-can i walk you back to your dorm,,,,,you know,,,,in cause something else happens”
he suddenly would look less and less of a bad boy and more as a soft little lamb
you gave him a cute innocent smile and agreed to allow him to walk you back
he hesitantly reached for your hand and walked you back into the direction of the bar where the blonde boy stood smirking at the two of you
gray haired boy leaned over and whispered something in the blonde’s ear before leading you away, the blonde boy whistling behind him
you watched as the gray haired boy flushed pink
once you were a good feet away from the party the gray haired boy let go of your hand and apologized
you shook your head and told him there was no need to be sorry
the whole walk home he basically talked to you about how much he hates parties but was only there to watch the people for entertainment
you learned that his name was chan and that he was kind of known as this intimidating bad boy on the campus
but you were like ??? i don’t see it??? especially after how cute and flustered he was acting around you
and you too felt the need to tell him a little bit about you like what your name was and how you were a new transfer student and that you lost your roommate in the crowd and stuff
chan acted a little sympathetic towards you and then with a smile offered to show you around campus sometime
and of course you agreed because honestly who wouldn’t agree to spending the day with a really attractive man
and with that you arrived at your dorm
but you didn’t part ways without getting his number first,,,
everything after that seemed to escalate pretty quickly
you didn’t really understand why people chose to be afraid of chan without getting to know him first because he was truly a really sweet guy
you also become pretty close friends with woojin and changbin
it took minho a little bit to warm up to you but according to chan he’s just a pretty cautious guy who would do anything for his friends
besides chan you probably got along with changbin the best with both of you having a mutual admiration for chan
apparently you were pretty oblivious to the way chan treated you
according to woojin’s words chan was absolutely whipped for you
and you didn’t really believe it at first because why would chan like this average college student who couldn’t even afford to buy ramen
but it turns out that woojin was right
chan started doing little things in hopes of making you fall for him and understand his feelings
like he would go out of his bad boy character to the flower shop down the road and buy you cute little daisies
which you really admired and appreciated
after a couple months of pining after you and woojin practically forcing him to declare his undying love for you he finally confessed
he took you to the local coffee shop and told you everything he felt
and lucky for him you returned his feelings
bad boy chan as a boyfriend would be so cute omg
he would be pretty protective over you and always offer to walk you to your classes even though it would make him late to his own
which he didn’t mind because the teachers already expected that out of him
he would always lend you his hoodies and leather jackets if you got cold
and omg they would be large on you and his heart would melt at the way they just seemed to swallow you whole
you were the best thing that had ever happened to chan and he loved that you weren’t quick to judge him for his appearance
and you accepted him for who he was and made him feel like he didn’t have to look dark and menacing for people to like him
when he first introduced you to his family they immediate opened up to you
they loved how much you cherished and appreciated their son for who he was and the way he was
you found out from his little sister that you were the first girlfriend that her channie oppa had ever had
and he was a blushing mess as he tried to keep her quiet
you simpily giggled and kissed his cheek telling him that you felt honored to be big bad channie’s first girlfriend ;)
being with chan had really changed you just as you did with him
he no longer felt the need to hide his real self away from people and he actually made an attempt to talking to people first
which of course did freak them out because everyone still had this strange fear over him
but seeing chan with an average girlfriend did get people to warm up to him better
especially after they saw how sweet and caring he was towards you
and honestly bad boy chan would just be literally the best boyfriend ever i dare you guys to fight me on this
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sunlightbi · 6 years
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hi guys !! i promise i’ll do a proper follow forever later in 2018 when we survive 2017 but today i want to give a shout out to some amazing people whom i’m very proud to call my friends and best friends. all of my mutuals are extremely special but these ones mean the whole world to me as we always talk and laugh together and i’m pretty sure i’d die for every single one of them. i hold each one of you very close to my heart :’) so here’s a list of people that make me smile every day and also make my world brighter and my dash a better place !! (1. idk how long it takes im sorry i lov y’all 2. also idk why i have this summer pic as my header but happy new year i guess)
i’ll start with the most important person for on this website @alloutshirt. lisa, you’re truly my soulmate and i can’t even imagine my life without you now. you always make my happy by just liking random posts on my blog or tagging me in pure stuff. i just want you to know that i’d do anything for you, i care about you so so much and i don’t think i’ll ever stop. i hope you’ll always be happy because you’re too precious and incredible and you have my whole heart. i love you to the moon and back, baby :’) YOU’RE ALSO THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD DON’T FORGET THAT
@twofronteeth amal even tho you never check ur activity page and have a face like a goddess (no kidding im crying every time i see your selfies) somehow we are mutuals and friends, i still don’t know why the fuck you noticed me but that was the best day of my life. please please never change, you’re literally the cutest person i know and your spelling mistakes make you even cuter !! just the way you talk to ppl makes you cute idk how you do that. you truly deserved your nickname ‘baby honey’ and i’m very proud to call you that i love you
of course i can’t even imagine myself without Pure Squad even tho it exists like 3 minutes but !!!! these people are already so important to me that i cry every time we interact
@spaceboysweater arsh i swear i couldn’t love you more because you’re one of the purest people on this website. and ur laugh !!!!! oh my god this is the best thing i’ve ever heard i need it as my ringtone. i will love you forever, you always make me smile and i wanna hug you so tight !!!!!!!!!
@babieharrie ahhh karri you’re just the most adorable person ever and i love you so so so so much. we almost made it !!! almost started a gc aksjfgffkj. you are incredibly lovely and you have a special place in my heart even tho you hate cats which i still can’t believe oh my god
@rainbowsboa 1) where the fuck are you i miss you 2) i’ve never seen a blog with more posts than yours i swear i need hours to scroll through it. but bella you’re my sunshine and you always bring me happiness, i really enjoy talking to you and omg i just love you so much i’m sorry i’m crying
@bibi-harry becca i can’t even put into words how much you mean to me !!!!!! i appreciate it so much when you come to talk to me because you’re sad or feel alone. i’m really glad i can help because you’re too amazing and flawless to be sad ever. i just hope you’ll have the best 2018, i love you with my whole heart cupcake !!
@haryslytherin eleanor baby it feels like i’ve known you for ages, you’re such an incredible person even tho your blog is a mess aklsjkdh. i love talking to you, you’re a pure bean. please make more 1d edits in 2018 that’s a need for me !! your art is wonderful just as you :) also i hope in 2018 you won’t change your icon every day
@fireprooof le !!!! just as you said i can’t imagine my tumblr experience without you too (tbh that message made me cry i love you so much). you were one of my first larry mutuals actually and i’ll never forget how excited i was that day. and i was extremely happy when you messaged me and said you miss my likes !! that was iconique. your edits give me life, i’ve never seen anything more beautiful, i just want to make a whole sideblog to reblog everything you make.  hope you’ll have an amazing 2018, i love you endlessly :’)
@louieh ghadeer aka the most iconic fanfic writer i know ;);)));)) i know this had been a tough year for you but i hope 2018 will be much better !!! you deserve the best only, i love you so so much and appreciate you more than you could imagine. i wanna give you the world and the stars and the moon and everything pure in the universe !!!!! i just hope everything will be okay darling :)
@stylesappreciation flo even tho you forgot about me i’m still here like hachi bc i love you very much a lot. anyways !!! skldjdfbhdskl you’re one of the most iconic people i know and your edits make my heart melt, i cry every time you post something new. we don’t talk as much as we used to which is sad but that’s okay, i’d sill give you my liver and everything you want. hope 2018 will treat you well baby :) ( @nosuchblue take care of her !!! i love u too erin and wish you all the best in 2018)
@liamsgrammys and @blushlouie you just go together and i can’t tell you apart. we actually don’t talk but you two are the most iconic gays ever and i’m so glad to witness ur gay relationship and reblog ur gay selfies and cry my gay tears !!!! i hope 2018 will be amazing for you, i love you two so so much, this gay experience is very important for me
@rosesau syeda aka ome of the most popular binches ever. i’m shook that like everybody knows you??? wtf??? how you do that honestly. you’re truly iconique and i’m pretty sure you make everyone’s tumblr experience much better. your text posts are my favourite thing ever and i just love you so incredibly much !!!! have the best 2018 biatch
@honeyhaz jackie !!!! the most precious flower in the land, i adore you so much. i really really really love talking to you, you’re the loveliest person ever, i hope you’ll have a lot of friends in 2018 !! you deserve only pure things darling. you make my heart burst with love every time you appear on my dash and i would just like to clarify that i love you to the moon and back :’)
@iconichalo well your url just speaks for itself so !!! i only wanted to say that alex you’re really an amazing person and i’m hella glad that we met thanks to gorgeous people we both talk to. i hope in 2018 we’ll become closer because i really like you !!! wish you the best stuff in new year darling :)
@ann-fortunately maybe i’d love you more if you stopped exposing me !!!!! alsjddgdgdkdj nevermind i actually love you very much a lot, you’re a pure puppy and i just wish 2018 treats you really well. all the love my dear !!! (also pls make more edits)
@dreamsmp3 eden baby idk when you’ll see this but i just want you to know that it’s not the same without you here, you’re incredible and i hope you’re taking care of yourself !!!!! i’m still thinking about that post i made when i just saw you on my dash and i oliterally became so overwhelmed that wrote big ass paragraph about how much i love you on the verge of tears and tbh this is Mood. you make everything better and brighter and i just want to wish you the best things in 2018, you deserve the whole world my love :’)
@lwtrainbows gio !!!! i’m so happy that i’m friends with arsh’s soulmate aldjfhfgjn you are just wonderful !!! i hope you won’t ever be sad, you need to always smile and laugh because the world needs more of this. you are one of the purest people ever and i just want to wrap you in a big blanket and give you forehead kisses. i wish 2018 treats you well sunshine !!!!
@alwaysycu well rhian you’re just an angel (my-my-my-my only angeeeel) that deserves better, always better. you make my heart go ‘!!!!’ when we talk and you’re just so nice and sweet always. i hope you’ll never be sad in 2018, it just goes against nature tbh. you were created to spread love and light so i hope next year will be the happiest for you :) i love you very much a lot
@iamlouis oh damn sarah !!! (this is just The Mood always with you) you’re a popular bitch and i’m still wondering why we are mutuals because your cool ass is too cool for me. everything you do is iconic and i’m tired bc you’re too good and pure wtf !! but i wish you become iconicer in 2018 because why not we all deserve some glow up i lov u
@delicatelou pinja you’re the softest person i know !!!! like literally. everything about you and your blog is so aesthetic and beautiful and just perfect??? h o w. i’m friends with a literal angel what the heck !! hope 2018 treats you well, you deserve the best only my pure baby. i’ll love you til the end of time darling, you’re amazing :’)
@ftdtlouis @lesbianhoran @larriez @definegirlfriends i’m only mentioning you because you broke my heart to pieces !!! but it’s new year so i gotts forgive you so you could dissappoint me in 2018 with something new. ALSMJDHNDG JOKES I LOVE Y’ALL EVEN THO I WAS HELLA SCARED YESTERDAY i just want all my mutuals to be happy and fine. is that too much to ask?.. anyways i wish you all the best i hope the nest time this shit happens i won’t be online bye
@rainbowstyles sabine i wouldn’t ever forget about you !!! you’re the sweetest creature ever, so so pure and lovely that you melt my heart. you deserve lots of love and happiness and laugh in 2018 and always. i hope you won’t ever be sad even tho it’s impossible but you are meant to be a sunshine !! i love you so so much, please don’t forget that :)
@poshlouis and @louari you two are iconic bitches and i couldn’t love you more. amanda thank you for always being nice to me and aline ,,, just thank you. you are a dream team and i love seeing you two interact on my dash !!!! hope you’ll have the best 2018, i love you two very much a lot
i hope all of my amazing mutuals will have the best 2018, you darlings mean so so much to me, i love you with all my heart !
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Bucky Barnes/James Barnes/The Winter Soldier imagines
Hi all! This is a pretty long list of possible situations for you and our darlin' Plum. Feel free to use them however, and if possible, tag me! I love reading Bucky x Reader (or Bucky x Tony, ikik..) and there's just never enough of it around.
I'm thinking about doing some of these so let me know if you're interested in reading one!
You are a consultant on cultural behavior, which means you detail the best appearance, attitude, and quirks for an undercover agent to have. Given your indepth knowledge, Fury assigns you the arduous task of bringing Steve Rogers and James Barnes up to speed on history post-1949.
You have known Tony for 15 years. You were born on August 1st, 1980, and attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After the war, you found yourself numb and detached from life, with your only surviving close friends and family being Harry James Potter and Ron Weasley. After suffering through apathy and depression for five years, at the age of 23, you throw yourself through the Veil. Unsure if you will encounter a blissful void, screeching hellfire and your righteous maker, or some other world, you put all your belongings in an extended bag and welcome the final step. Funnily enough, you fell face-forward into a gutter. 15 years later, Tony calls on you to consult on the portals opening at random. Unsure what to expect, seeing as you are the last magical being on this earthly realm, you agree. What you find brings back memories of parseltongue, bloodquils, and man with 7 lives. Bucky x Reader.
Born into an impoverished family, Y/N Y/L/N is the last in a long line of witch-hunters. Your father was already well into his 60s when you were born, so when he passed, it was just your mother left to instill the family doctrine in you. Despite this all, you eventually turn to a life of normalcy, and become a historian specializing in occult artifacts (that's normal, right?). Stephen Strange is a close friend, and eventually asks you to help him in his research kickstarted by Jane Foster. You come into contact with all of the Avengers although you've barely held a conversation past "Hi, how ya doin'?". With Darcy as your new best friend, and her ridiculous affair with the God of Lies, you find yourself reciting the words your father had carved into his flesh. "For our King, our God, and the Righteousness of Divinity, may God have Mercy upon your Filthy Soul." Would be very interesting with a fictional twist on a religion or faith of your choosing. Bucky x Reader where eventually Reader is the only person in the tower/compound who can successfully defend herself against attacks by the supernatural without heavy firepower- Bucky being the exception of course. Horror!theme?
It had been a nice sunny day in Manhattan. You thought to yourself, "You know what, this is gelato weather. I deserve gelato." And instead you get shot by some asshole with a red star on his shirt, kidnapped by a blonde man with a shield, and then told it was your fault for telling the red star asshole to leave your landlord alone.
Peter thinks he's sly- that you don't know about his spandex-wearing cobwebby bullshit. Ha! You'd lived next door all your life. Your WINDOW faces his. Who does he think he's fooling? Doesn't matter, he got you into a Stark Expo VIP tour. But hey, that tall brooding dude looks like he needs a laugh. Wait, what do you mean you can't say "Who pissed in your cornflakes?" to the Winter Soldier? He's not the Winter Soldier, he- oh. Shit. Haaa..haha.. "PETER!!"
As Tony Stark's assistant, you've seen a lot of stuff. You've seen him butt naked, you've seen him so drunk he thought you were Rhodey (somehow), and you've even had your heart in his chest. You and he trust each other completely. One day, you get a call and it's a hospital in Y/Home/Town. They say your grandpa had a heart attack. And so you're on leave for 2 months making sure he's okay. Ol' Dirty Dugan doesn't go down easy. When you return, there is a strange split in the team. Tony spends even more time in his lab, he smells awful, and there's bags under his eyes. The team doesn't mention him and you notice they don't call him out for missions anymore. Wtf? After some digging you find out that Clint, Natasha, Steve, Sam, and Wanda are convinced Tony is a piece of shit. They think he's selfish, a coward, and a pervert, all because of misinformation and his public image. Hell fucking no. Thank god they thawed Barnes out, at least he isn't partaking in Bully-Tony-Tuesday. In fact.. he seems to be just as distant and despondent as Tony. You have a lot of work to do.
Bucky is your best friend. In the sense that, you don't have any real friends, and he doesn't let people close. But you bring him coffee, he shares his protein bars, and sometimes you two watch youtube together. Then one day an office clerk slaps your ass. What does Bucky do? He fractures the guys jaw.
"Happy Birthday to me. Happy birthday to me.. Happy Birthday, dear (Y/N), happy..birthday..to me.." Nobody remembered. Again. Your parents didn't call. Your sister didn't call. Your old friends didn't call. Nobody on the team said anything, but then again, they probably didn't know.. you are just a lab assistant anyway. Oh, well, Jarvis 2.0 did say Happy Birthday. That was nice. Bucky overheard Jarvis, though. So he goes out and buys some flowers, a bottle of sake, and a cheesecake. And then you cry and doesn't know why. Happy birthday to me. Oneshot. Fluffy angst.
They didn't know you were sick. None of them. You were conveniently out of town when the medical check ups took place, and never allowed the pain to show on your face. But one day at work you collapse, and they can't wake you up. Cho discovers you have kidney disease. You're dying and have been for a while. Tony pays top dollar for an immediate transplant, but it will still take a month or two. You used to have morning chats with Barnes after his run. You always were an early bird. But now he's on assignment somewhere secret, and you feel even more numb. Bucky couldn't handle the thought that you'd die (you won't but he doesn't know that), so he runs. He runs and immerses himself in a mission, believing you'd never feel the same way.
You came home and discovered your boyfriend of eight years in bed with a woman you'd never seen before. Turns out they'd been having a secret affair for nearly 5 years. You are arrested for punching him in the face- not that you remember, you blacked out in rage- and humourously enough, Barnes is the one who collects you from the station. It's okay, you hadn't been in love with Jerry for a long time, but it still hurt. So when you see Jerry with his 'side chick' three months later, you also discover Bucky had a sense of humour. Apparently you're now married to James Barnes, have been for a while, and are pregnant. Of course you're not but somehow Bucky knew just what to say and do to piss Jerry right off.
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Tales of delicious revenge from a recovering retail worker.
story data: long story. 2301votes. %97 upvoted. very popular.
I discovered this blog @petty-revenge-stories a while ago and it has breathed new life into my withered soul. Today, it's time that I return the favor.
These tales of petty revenge all took place over the three long years that I had the misfortune of working retail at a big-box store best known for its red bullseye logo and bitchy middle-class clientele. Enjoy.
ONE: THE TAG SWITCHER I was working in the fitting room one night when this lady bustles in with 3000 different items of clothing that she wanted to try on. Unfortunately my store had just lifted the item limit for the fitting room, so I begrudgingly had to let her take everything back.
She proceeds to make a HUGE mess in the fitting room (leaving clothes inside-out all over the floor, tags ripped off of items, size stickers peeled off and slapped onto the wall… the whole nine yards).
After she leaves, I report the ripped off tags to Assets Protection (per fitting room policy) and, figuring that would be the extent of my revenge, I resigned to cleaning up the mess she left me.
Then I get a call from the manager. He wants me up at the registers to do back up. I had worked the registers before, but it was exceptionally rare for me to get pulled away from the fitting room to do backup. Still, I don’t protest and I head up to the register.
Guess who my first customer is? Yep, the mess-making bitch from the fitting room. The manager has directed her straight to me, and I can tell from the wide-eyed look of horror on her face that she realizes she has just been lead into a trap.
She slowly begins to plop her items onto the conveyerbelt and tries to make nervous small-talk. At first I assume she’s just feeling awkward about the mess that she left… but when I get a better look at her items, I immediately realize there’s something much fishier going on.
Her purchase consists entirely of women’s clothing, and I recognize most of the items as brand new stuff that has recently come in. Stuff that should cost full price. So when I see nearly every single item’s price tag covered with a bright red 70% off clearance sticker, I realize that something’s up. When I look down at the first item from her pile, my suspicions are confirmed: the item I’m holding in my hands is a woman’s Mossimo Black clothing item, but it has a bright blue Circo tag that belongs on infant boy clothes.
Busted! This bitch was switching tags on clothes to get a lower price! Not only that, but she was so brazen (or stupid) that she used tags from the wrong department!
I don’t make it immediately obvious that I’ve figured out her scheme. Instead, I think fast. From my experience in the fitting room, I know every item of clothing has a little white tag on the inside that has a nine-digit item code. So instead of scanning the items, I proceed to type in each and every item manually, using the ACTUAL numbers inside each garment.
The woman watches this all unfold with a nauseous look on her face, as item after item rings up at full price ($19 - $29, compared to the $2 or $4 price tags she had stuck on each item). As her total grows, so does the look of combined hatred and fear on her face.
Finally she stammers something about “coming back later” and runs off towards the exit. The Assets Protection guy watches her walk out, then comes over to me. He reveals that he had been watching this chick before she even went into the fitting room, but he didn’t have enough on camera to approach her. Since I was the only team member working that night who was familiar with the clothing / tags, the manager put me on the register to check her out.. literally!
TWO: THE PHONE SHOPPER It’s the week before Christmas and the store is frantic. I’m manning the phones (which are ringing off the hook), and one night I get a call from Bitch Princess, who wants to know if we have any [insert name of whatever animatronic hatching robot dog toy every kid had to have that year].
Now the store’s holiday policy said we could confirm availability over the phone, but we weren’t supposed to put high-demand items (like the barking bird robot thing) on hold for a customer. Regardless, I was still un-jaded enough to like hooking people up (I’m still waiting on that lifetime of good retail karma to kick in…)
I let BP know that this highly-coveted toy has been flying off the shelves for weeks and I’m doubtful that we have any in stock, but I can happily check for her if she’s willing to go on a brief hold. She impatiently agrees to the hold, and I set the phone down.
After being slightly delayed by a customer that ambushed me on the sales floor, I miraculously find ONE of these stupid toys on the shelf. I grab it and head back to my post, excited to tell BP I just saved Christmas, but when I get back I find the phone ringing again. Recognizing the number on the caller ID display, I quickly deduce that Bitch Princess has hung up and is now calling back.
I barely get a chance to recite my scripted greeting before BP cuts me off, yelling that I put her on hold for “30 minutes” (more like 7), that she’s a customer and it’s my job to assist her, some nonsense about her having priority over the customers in the store, blah blah blah. I want to point out that literally NONE of what she’s saying is true, but I keep my lips sealed.
Instead, in a ridiculously pleasant voice, I say: “ma’am, thank you SO MUCH for your patience. I checked the sales floor and couldn’t find [stupid toy], but the computer is telling me that we might have one in the backroom. If you bear with me for another minute here, I can—”
She grumbled that yes, I could check the backroom, but I “better hurry” because she doesn’t have time for this. Smiling gleefully, I put the phone back on hold and proceed to return [stupid toy] to the spot where I found it on the sales floor. I then spend a nice chunk of time helping out ACTUAL customers in the store.
Eventually I remember that BP is still waiting on hold and I return to the phone. “Ma’am, good news… we do have ONE in stock,” I say. BP immediately barks at me to put it on hold, and a devious Grinch-like smile spreads across my face. “I’m so sorry ma’am, but we’re actually unable to put high-demand items on hold at this time. All I can do is confirm that it’s currently available on the sales floor…”
BP unleashes the wrath of a thousand fiery infernos and demands to speak to a manager. I oblige, transferring her to the closing manager (who confirmed the store policy, before promptly being hung up on).
I was pretty pleased with the turn of events, but the cherry on top came a short time later when BP actually shows up at the store, only to discover that the toy had already been purchased by another guest.
THREE: THE SHOE SNATCHER It was nearly closing time, and I was tasked with “zoning” (or straightening up) the shoe department for the night. It was nearly impossible for me to get anything done, though, because this obnoxious woman kept making me drop everything to help her shop for shoes for her toddler.
The worst part was that the woman didn’t put anything back where she found it. Instead, she just leaves the shoe boxes strewn throughout the aisle (wtf). She finally leaves, and I drag myself over to the massive mess that she’s left behind.
As I’m returning all of the discarded shoe boxes to their rightful locations, I’m popping them open to make sure the correct shoes are inside. When I open one of the boxes, I discover a very sweet sight indeed: a dirty pair of toddler sneakers.
It’s a scam I’ve seen far too many times: someone swaps out a pair of new shoes with their old dirty shoes. Only this time, instead of getting away, I had caught the crook red-handed (or red-footed?)
I tucked the shoebox under my arm and quickly retraced the woman’s steps. Sure enough, I was able to find her in the grocery section. And sure enough, her toddler was sitting in the cart wearing a pair of brand new cartoon character sneakers.
I approached the mom with a giant shit-eating grin on my face and said: “I’m so glad I caught you! You almost left without these!” I held open the box with the dirty sneakers.
The woman had the nerve to pin the blame on her child, playing it off as if her kid had swapped the sneakers. Smh.
(source) (story by DeliciousRevenge)
2K notes · View notes
stylo-xx · 7 years
Text
Eyes Closed (M)
G-Dragon: Angst/Small amount of fluff/Smut
PART 3: You Always Hurt the One You Love
A/N: All right this one is out before midnight for once! haha. This is finally a more Ji-Yong-centric part and I felt way too many feelings writing this but I hope you all enjoy none the less! xx
P.S. please by all means leave me your thoughts/comments about how you like/dislike how the story is going so far. I’d really love to know where I can improve and/or what things I am doing that you all like.
P.P.S this was the song that was playing in the car, give it a listen!
(Part One)||(Part Two-A)||(Part Two-B)||(Part Four)
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(ORIGINALLY POSTED BY s-tttop)
      Sitting in the rear seat of the black tinted windowed SUV, Ji-Yong absentmindedly played with the threads that were poking out from the rip on the knees of his jeans. The men accompanying him in the car sat in a comfortable silence as they were all far too exhausted from having been woken up so early; at least early to them. Just when they got comfortable being home, they get ripped right out of their comfortable bed sheets only to be shipped off to some other city. Another city, another photoshoot and yet it was still the same monotonous thing over and over again.
      Donning his sunglasses Ji-Yong stared out the window and nodded his head to the faint sound of the music coming from the car speakers.
       ‘Haunted by secrets, my lips are sealed
      All of your demons it turns out they’re real
      The shadows on the wall, will watch me as I crawl
      But you know how to make me come back
      I’m just a monster that you’ll never fear’
       He shook his head out of his thoughts; somehow they always managed to be about her. He couldn’t understand it really, he would drink to forget but he always remembered. Always. Even when he was drunk out of his mind he could swear he’d hear her call out to him, swear that he heard his phone go off and that it was her finally willing to talk to him. But somehow it always just managed to be his imagination. He thought it was like some kind of cruel joke his mind liked to play on him although he wasn’t sure if this was actually some sick, deep seeded pleasure he got from torturing himself or if he had just completely lost it. He couldn’t even sleep without seeing her, the only time he’d actually get a decent night’s rest was ironically when he was piss ass drunk, but even then the hallucinations of her in the room was like dangling forbidden fruit right before him that was always just barely out of reach. Like the other night at Seungri’s friend’s club he could have sworn he saw her in the distance intermingled with the other just as intoxicated people in the club. But from his seemingly permanent seat at the booth he knew she was just another hallucination; just a fever dream of attaining the unattainable. There’d even be instances when he’d actually get to the point in the night where he would ‘forget’ her long enough that’d he’d go home with someone for once, but in the end they were never good enough; they weren’t her. At times he’d even feel terrible because every single time without fail he’d picture her being the one he was taking out his frustrations on but none of his paramours or lovers alike could satiate the undeniable hunger within him. I guess ‘Misery’ simply loved the company but very rarely did he love to keep it.
       ‘Why won’t you ever let me leave?
      Just fucking let me out
      Every time that I’m out of reach she says “turn around”
       “Yah, can you turn the music off…” he spoke.
      The suddenness of his voice filling the car startled a sleeping Dae-Sung and Seungri; whom of which was drooling on Dae-Sung’s shoulder.
      “Ahh, but Hyung that’s a good song it’s nice and mellow it was--”
      “I can’t hear myself think” Ji-Yong cut off the maknae “besides I hate that song…”
      Young-Bae threw him a half lidded side-eye.
      “Yah Ji-Yongie-ah” the oldest of the five spoke up “If that song brings up bad memories you just have to say so…”
      “Hyung!--” Ji-Yong readied himself to put up a fight, only for his actions to be cut short by a tired hand from Young-Bae on his shoulder.
      “Hyung, do you really want to piss him off at this close of a proximity”
      The eldest man simply shrugged and cozied himself up in his coat that was haphazardly strewn across his body.
      Ji-Yong sighed and slouched back into his seat.
      Seeing that the commotion had subsided the men returned to their previous positions as they tried to relax before a grueling day of getting unwillingly pampered and shoved into clothes that despite their appearance they were deceivingly itchy.
      Ji-Yong sighed again and pulled his phone from his pant pocket, these days he had kept his distance from social media but every so often he liked to make an appearance to appease the masses on Instagram. Opening the app he scrolled through his photos to find a selfie he had taken previously, added a cute~ caption and posted it. As if almost instantaneously the number of likes he received was by the thousands; the thought of it almost made him want to chuckle. Curious what he had missed in his absence from the world of social media he decided to check the photos he had been tagged in; every now and again he’d find some kind of amazing fan art or just a hilarious edit of one of the members. Scrolling through there was a picture of him from an old concert here, a picture of him drunk with some fangirl there; just an unintentional collage of Ji-Yong. The further he scrolled the more he began to notice he had been tagged multiple times in some picture of two people kissing.
      ‘Dear god another dating rumor?’ He thought.
      He kept scrolling past but seeing as I the amount of times he was tagged in that same picture, his curiosity had gotten the best of him. Only, I'm sure looking back he'd probably wish it hadn't.
      And as clear as day, there she was; just as beautiful as ever but in the arms of another man no less. He felt an array of emotions, just seeing her in that state and just the thought of what had probably occurred between the two of them later that night made him sick. Feeling like his heart had tanked to the floor, a jealousy from deep within began to rear it's ugly head. Just what did this douche bag have that he didn't? He had, had to endure the pain of seeing her  in magazines gallivanting around with the annoyingly perfect men of Hollywood but this just seemed to hurt him more somehow.
      He scrolled down to read the comments.
       ‘Omo, she is so lucky!~’
      ‘WHo is that with her???? Damn! *faints*’
      ‘I totally know who that is (¬‿¬)’
      ‘Wtf how does she date all these people?!!!!’
      ‘I wish someone would kiss me like that (ಥ﹏ಥ)’
      ‘Pfffft well if this isn’t a fuck you to that dragon guy ╭∩╮(^3^)╭∩╮’
      ‘Wait how do you know who that is with her???’
      ‘Haha that’s Suho from EXO! My friend was at that party, she said she saw them together most of the night. She said Alex was pretty drunk and her and Suho were just like all over eachother *shrugs*’
      ‘What party?! DETAILS PLEASE!’
      ‘Some grand opening to some new club in Gangnam. I don’t have much details other than that, my friend is the one that lives in Korea not me (ಥ_ಥ)’
       ‘Holy shit…’ Ji-Yong thought ‘So--so I did see her the other night...it wasn’t just some fucked up dream I had’
      He bent over in his seat and placed his head between his hands, all this time-- the past two days he had been mulling over and over again in his mind about that night when he thought he saw her and he actually had. He was mentally kicking himself for, for once not following his indiscretions and just going up to her. All this time, he could have heard her speak for the first time in months, he could have listen to her laugh, he could have been the one that was in that photo, he could have been the one that ended his night with her; but no, the better man had won.
      ‘Pffft, better man...’ he scowled ‘that ostentatious fuck…’
      Sitting upright in his seat again, he clenched his jaw and balled up his fist so hard his knuckles went white. He couldn’t believe that once again this asshole was the cause to all his problems. He couldn't believe that he was stupid enough not to realize she was actually within reach and once again he had let her go. His chest started heaving up and down harder and harder the angrier he got.
      ‘ARGH!’ he pulled back his arm and took a hard swing at the plastic frame of the car window and completely smashing it in the process.
      The other men in the car just looked at each other awkwardly at the enraged man’s outburst.
      Noticing the blood cascading from from his best friend’s hand, Young-Bae went wide eyed.
      “Ji-Yong-ah--”
      “What?!” he clenched his eyes shut and with a shaky, unbattered hand pulled out his pack of cigarettes.
      “Not to make the situation worse but, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” his best friend gestured with his hand “You crazy son of a bitch, look at your fucking hand! What the fuck Ji-Yong?!” rolling down the partition to the driver he demanded that he immediately take them to the hospital.
      Managing to light his cigarette with one hand Ji-Yong spoke nonchalantly.
      “Yah, Young-Bae I’m fine...I don't even feel anything…”
      “Don’t even feel-- DID YOU ALSO LOSE YOUR FUCKING MIND IN THE PROCESS OF BREAKING YOUR FUCKING HAND BECAUSE THAT FUCKING WATERFALL OF BLOOD COMING DOWN YOUR ARM DOESN’T LOOK FINE TO ME!”
      The other men in the car just continued to glance at each other awkwardly, not trying to make any sort of eye contact with the other two men.
      “STOP FUCKING YELLING AT ME!”
      “WELL I WOULDN’T HAVE TO IF YOU WEREN’T SO FUCKING OUT OF YOUR MIND--”
      “YAH!” the eldest’s voice boomed “Young-Bae you yelling at this Pabo isn't helping. Ji-Yong, what-the-fuck?  What the hell could have happened to you in the past five minutes that you go and not only break the company car but you break your goddamn hand?!”
      With the cigarette dangling between his lips, he let out a sardonic chuckle.
      “Have a look for yourself…” he said barely above a whisper and tossed his phone in their general direction.
      Upon arrival the doctor had diagnosed that Ji-Yong had a Boxer’s fracture; in short he had broken the first two knuckles of his right hand. After pulling out the shards of plastic, stitching up the gaping wounds on his hand and wrapping his hand and forearm up in a cast he was free to go.
      He sat on the edge of the hospital bed in an almost catatonic state, staring blankly at the linoleum flooring solely being consumed by his thoughts.
      Young-Bae and a very cautious Seungri walked into the room slightly alarmed at their friend’s zombie like state.
      “Yah, Ji-Yong-ah the doctors said you're free to go”
      No response.
      “We can go to TOP Hyung’s house and drink some wine and--”
      “He's not supposed to drink while he's on the medication Hyung..” Seungri interjected.
      Young-bae side eyed Seungri.
      “We can watch a movie so you don't have to make an effort to talk to us?”
      Still no response.
      Seungri stepped forward and took a shaky breath before speaking.
      “Hyung, I failed you. If you wanna hit me go ahead, I deserve it” he preemptively winced.
      Ji-Yong pushed him away “I’m fine let’s go..” and he hopped off the hospital bed
      “But Hyung aren’t you mad at me?”
      “No Seungri, I’m not mad at you…” he kept walking toward the door somberly.
      Seungri and Young-Bae glanced at each other and walked out after him
      “But Hyung don’t wanna hit me? It would make you feel better” the maknae cleared his throat.
      Jiyong stopped in his tracks turning to face Seungri.
      “The only thing that would make me feel worse is inflicting undeserved pain on someone who’s done nothing wrong to me” he turned on his heel and continued toward the exit.
      The other two glanced at each other again, Young-Bae simply mouthed ‘Do something!’
      “Hyung if you're playing hard to get its working, just hit me! It's ok i swear!”
      Keeping to his onset silence, Seungri received no reply.
      “Ok well if you're not mad at me who are you mad at?!” Young-Bae smacked the maknae on the back of the head.
      Not turning around he spoke in a monotone voice.
      “Myself…” he pushed passed the frosted glass doors revealing a smiley Dae-Sung with a bouquet of flowers in hand and a just as ecstatic Seung-Hyun that were both happy to see their leader one piece; so to speak.
      “Hey, there he is!” Dae-Sung motioned to hand over the flowers to Ji-Yong but he simply brushed him off and headed toward the town car in waiting.
      “Aish, what’s with him?” Dae-Sung furrowed his brows “I thought the Oxycodone would’ve made him tolerable for once…you’d think that being who he is he wouldn’t let some girl get him like that..if I was her I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to get back with that mess of a ma--”
      “Yah!” Seung-Hyun smacked him on the back of the head “go get in the car!”
      Dae-Sung rubbed the back of his head and mutter incoherent nothings to himself.
      Walking up to the older man, Young-Bae placed a hand on his shoulder and sighed. Watching his best friend slide inside of the car, he couldn’t help but feel pity for him. He felt somewhat guilty. He had known she was back in Seoul, he knew about her and Suho but he didn’t tell Ji-Yong because he felt like he was protecting him; but it made him wonder if he was more so protecting himself. Protecting himself from what he wasn’t sure.
      “What are we gonna do Hyung?”
      Seung-Hyun blew a puff of air from his mouth “I really don’t know, I didn’t think he could get any worse but this just takes the cake”
      Young-Bae bit his lip and nodded.
      “Would talking to her at this point even help?” the eldest man raised an eyebrow.
      The dreaded man sighed again “Honestly, Hyung I don’t think that’d make it any better. I know he says he always says he just wants to see her but truthfully I think talking her would make him worse if that’s even humanly possible…besides I’m pretty sure that is a lost cause”
      This time the eldest man nodded.
      “I spoke to Tim the day after the club and he told me Suho had come back that morning and checked on her and that he was laying it on pretty thick; flowers in hand and all--”
      “Pfft, Jesus...” Seung-Hyun raised his eyebrows.
      “He also told me that she texted Tim later that night telling him about how excited she was for tonight, that Suho was supposedly coming back from Paris and he was going to take her on a ‘real’ date..”
      “Wah...that guy’s not fucking around huh?”
      Young-Bae shook his head “Aish, Hyung I just wish he would stop being so stupid and talk to her! I mean I know why she doesn’t want to talk to him but if he really did love her as much as he complains about all the time then why not fight for her instead of letting this stupid picture get to him?! While he’s over here breaking shit for no other reason other than letting his fucking ego get in the way, this douche is over here getting the girl. The more Ji-Yong mopes and sulks in his own self pity, the further away she’s getting”
      The older man shrugged.
      “I can’t let this happen, not just because Ji-Yong is my best friend but I also just straight up don’t trust that guy. Tim and I both agree that we feel like he’s up to something...I just don’t know what it is yet”       Seung-Hyun replaced his hand on the younger man’s shoulder and nodded his head. He didn’t really know what to say, while he loved Ji-Yong he hated this self-destructive monster he had become; he hated the entire situation to be honest. The entire thing had him confused, being that Ji-Yong was the one that ended things to begin with he didn’t entirely blame her for wanting nothing to do with him. On the other hand, knowing how much he loved her and how much he regretted letting her go for no other reason other than being a complete coward, he wanted his friends to be just like they were when they first started dating; up until that point he hadn’t seen Ji-Yong as happy as he was in a long time. Now, all he saw was the pathetic shell of a man he once called his friend, this new Ji-Yong wasn’t the same guy he had know since they were kids. He always feared that one day or another one of them would let their celebrity status get to their heads and being at the place Ji-Yong was at the time, he never would have guessed that G-Dragon was there to stay once the stage lights shut off. Now more so than ever. He never minded Ji-Yong’s partying ways, or his promiscuity but when it got to the point where G-Dragon became his scapegoat and it was his catalyst for hurting Alex, he just slowly began to resent him. Seung-Hyun knew everything, he knew about every spat, every little fight, every time they’d say words they never meant to each other; he knew everything.
      “WHERE IS SHE?” Ji-Yong cried.       “Ji-Yong calm down” Young-Bae tried to pacify his extremely intoxicated friend.       “Yah! Young-Bae I fucked up, I FUCKED UP” he wailed with hot tears streaming down his face “I lost her, I FUCKING LOST HER”       “Ji-Yong, jinja calm-down”       “How the fuck do you want me to calm down when I ruined everything?! Ahh Young-Bae, I’m done!”       “Done with what?” he furrowed his brows.       “With this, with everything! I don’t wanna do this anymore!”       “What are you talking about?”       “Just let me drink until I can’t fucking feel anything anymore...I don’t want to feel anything…I’m fucking useless, all I do is fuck everything up”       “No you don’t what the hell are you talking about?”       “I-I screwed up” Ji-Yong slurred his words “she hates m-me, she hates me…”        “Ok listen to me” Young-Bae took his best friend’s face between his hands “you are fucking drunk, just stop talking for a second and think about what you’re saying”       “All I do is make her cry...” he said absentmindedly, completely ignoring his friend’s pleas.       “Ok, Ji-Yong listen to me” taking his friend’s face in his hands again “Stay right here and drink this water ok? Give me a second a I’ll be right back”       Ji-Yong simply nodded as he cradled himself back and forth on the hotel room bed.       Stepping into the bathroom Young-bae pulled out his phone and quickly searched for Alex’s number. The phone rang three times before he got an answer.
      ‘Hello?’ her voice sounded hoarse.       “Alex? Where are you?”       ‘I’m with Jackson, Tim and Saige, why?’       “I really need you to come back to your room, please it’s Ji-Yong”       A short pause came before she spoke ‘why...I don’t want to talk to him right now. Besides my flight back home is in like 45 minutes so, no”       “Flight back home? What do y--” he heard a crash from the other room.       ‘What was that?’       “Shit…” he swore under his breath.       ‘Young-Bae?’       “Please just come back to your room, I don’t have time to explain!”       ‘Young-Bae wait!--’       He hung up his phone and rushed back into the other room to find Ji-Yong held a broken bottle of whiskey in a bloodied hand.       “Ji-Yong what the hell?!” he rushed to his best friend’s side “No, no! Put that down! Jinga look at your hand!”       Ji-Yong swayed in place and sniffled  “i-it’s not that bad, see” he held out his bloodied hand toward his friend. Just then a pounding came from the front door. Young-Bae rushed to open the door, revealing an Alex who looked out of breath..       “What the hell is going on?” she spoke as Young-Bae closed the door behind her.       Not being able to stand his ground Ji-Yong swayed back and forth and stared at her in awe.       “Oh my god Ji-Yong you’re bleeding!” she took several steps toward him and grasped the wrist of his bleeding hand.       Not even batting an eye he continued to stare at her the words that were coming out of her mouth went completely unheard.       “Oh my god um ok” she pulled him toward the bathroom “Young-Bae what the hell?! Why did you let him do this to himself?!”       “Let him?! I was trying to keep him from doing anything stupid, and the one second I take my eyes off of him, to call you by the way, he does this shit!” he threw his hands up.       She shook her head “can you at least find me a first aid kit or something? I need to get these little pieces of glass out of his hand”       Young-Bae nodded and headed out the front door.       “Tsk, Ji-Yong what the hell is wrong with you?” she held up his hand toward the light to get a better view “Here, let’s at least try to wash the blood off” Running his hand under the faucet, he’d wince every now and again but still he would always manage to find his way back to staring at her; admiring her facial features.       “Ahh, ahh!” he winced again.       “Oh shit, I’m sorry!” she looked at him with pleading eyes.       As if completely forgetting the shards of glass in his left hand, he cupped her face with the other hand and stared into her eyes before leaning in for a kiss.
      “Ji-Yong, no...” she pulled away from him “your timing is terrible, you really think that just because you’re and idiot with blood gushing out of your hand that means I’m not upset with you?”       He closed his eyes and threw his head back.       “What were you thinking anyway? You could have really hurt yourself…”       “Would you have cared if I had?” he opened his eyes and leaned against the counter.       “What the hell is that supposed to--You know what, I don’t want to fight with you anymore I just really want this night to be over” she sighed.       He pushed himself off of the counter and stood right before her, once again staring into her eyes. He weighed his options in his mind before he bit his lip and went in for another kiss, only this time actually making contact. Deepening the kiss he placed his good hand on the nape of her neck and backed her up against the wall behind her. She hesitantly placed a hand on his bare shoulder and then moved up it into his hair. Pulling away to kiss her neck, he smiled to himself.       “Mmm, Ji-Yong what about your--hng--hand?”       “Fuck my hand...” he spoke into her skin.       She let out a small whimper “I’m serious Ji-Yong”       “So am I” he took his hand from her neck and placed it beneath one of her thighs and raised her leg up toward his waist.       She threw her head back as her eyes rolled back into her head “Young-Bae is going to be back any second…”       “We have to hurry then...” he took his hand and moved it up underneath her long hoodie and hooked his fingers around her underwear and yanked them off. He pulled away from her neck and looked her in the eyes and smiled, placing a peck upon her lips he reached between the two of them and attempted to undo his pants with one hand with no such luck.
      “Uhm, could ya help me out a bit” he let out a chuckle.
      She sighed and complied undoing the button and zipper to his pants. Going back in for another passionate kiss he pulled down his boxer briefs and pumped himself before entering her causing her to gasp into the kiss. 
      Not giving her time to adjust he started pulling in and out at a fast pace, completely forgetting about his mangled left hand that he rested against the wall. Her moans began to fill the bathroom as they reverberated off of the walls, he pulled away from the kiss and threw his head back letting out a few of his own grunts and groans.       “Oh holy fuck…” his eyes rolled back into his head “I’m sorry for what I said earlier baby”       She let out a whimper “Ji-Yong, shut--the fuck--up”       He chuckled before he let out a loud moan “oh fuck, babe--fuck--I think I’m gonna cum”       “Already?” she said breathlessly.       He looked at her through half lidded eyes “Yes already--shiiiiit--I’m surprised I could even get it up I’m pretty fucked up right now”       She raised an eyebrow “that makes two of us”       His moans began to get louder and louder, he usually wasn’t one to be super vocal during sex but when he was she took far too much enjoyment out of it.
      Her phone vibrated in her pocket causing her to pull it out to check who had messaged her.       “Mmm--really? You’re gonna--ung--check your phone right now?!”       She let out a moan as he picked up the pace “oh my fuuuck-- oh shit it’s--ung--Young-Bae”       “What?”       “I said--oh Jesus H. Christ-- I said it’s Young-Bae” she whimpered “He’s--he’s comiiing!”       “Shiit” he threw his head back again.       “J-Ji Yong you have like 45 seconds to get your shit together”       He breathlessly nodded his head and began to pound into her harder and harder until he could feel her clenching around his dick signaling that she was just as close as he was.       “Come on baby--fuck--cum for me”       Pulling him in closer causing her to leave scratch marks along his back she could feel that warm pit in her stomach beginning to build before she completely unraveled around him. Seeing her in complete ecstasy and feeling her clenching around his dick was all it took for him to become undone. Riding out their highs, Ji-Yong slowly pulled out as his chest was heaving up and down rapidly.       “Shit sorry, I was going to pull out before I came..” he said out of breath.       Just as winded he was, she pushed herself off the wall and with shaky legs made her way toward the shower and pulled off the detachable shower head to clean up.       He made his way toward her and held her from behind before placing a kiss on the top of her head.       She simply nodded her head in a delayed reply.       “Why--” he cleared his throat “why do you always come back to me?”       She turned toward him “I don’t know…maybe out of stupidity?...”       “You could have easily just let me bleed all over the place, flown home and not cared”       “I guess that’s my problem...”       “What is?”       “I care too much…” she sighed “I can’t just leave you alone, what if you had hurt yourself worse than you did tonight? I couldn’t let myself live with that weight on my shoulders if something had happened to you…I would never want you to hurt in any sense of the word”       He nodded his head “But what about when I hurt you? Doesn’t it make you angry? Doesn’t it make you want to walk away for good”       “Of course it does, and sometimes I wonder if you do it on purpose because you want me to end things because you’re too much of a coward to. You are probably the biggest, most narcissistic pain in my ass that I have ever met and yet still no matter what and out of sheer lunacy I will always come back to you. Because I unfortunately fell in love with you...”
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
      The car ride to Ji-Yong’s penthouse was a silent one, no one dared to utter a single word. When they arrived to his building Ji-Yong hopped out without a single ‘good-bye’ and headed toward the lobby; Seungri and Young-Bae followed suit behind him.       Seungri cleared his throat “Hyung, are you feeling hungry?”       “No…” he said in a monotone voice, not turning to face either man.       “Cause if you are thre is no need to be shy about it! I’ll even cook the meat just for you!”       No response.       “Yah, Ji-Yong-ah you need to eat something eventually, you can’t be on the medication without it” Young-Bae furrowed his brow.       “I said I’m fine…” he said walking into the elevator and pressing the button to his floor; the other two quickly hopped inside before the doors could close.       Seungri and Young-Bae awkwardly glanced at each other, both determined to get their gloomy friend to at least crack a smile.       “You know” Young-Bae smiled “now that you have that cast and everything, you can lie and say you fought a bear or something”       Ji-Yong let a puff of air out through his nose.       “Yea Hyung, you could say anything! I mean you could also say you punched a car but just leave out the reason why” Young-Bae smacked him on the back of the head.       Ji-Yong raised an eyebrow.       “Hyung...If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think she’s very happy with that guy anyway. Pretty sure I heard Rowan ask her that night what the whole deal with that guy was and Alex just said ‘wait what guy?’       Finally he cracked a smile.       Seeing the reaction he got from his Hyung the maknae continued with more feeling.       “AND, from what Sasha had told me Alex isn’t staying that far away from here”       Ji-Yong went wide eyed and turned to look at the maknae. Seungri wiggled his eyebrows.       “Whoa ok slow your roll there wingman” Young-Bae interjected “Don’t really think adding stalker to the broken fist is a good idea. I think he’s done enough for one day”       “Tsk, come on Hyung!” Young-Bae looked at the hopeful look in his best friend’s eyes and sighed.       “Look if you really want to talk to her, go tomorrow huh? I don’t think seeing you in a Chanel dress shirt covered in your own blood is a good look for anybody”       Ji-Yong looked down at his shirt.       “Ok he’s got a point there Hyung…” the maknae eyed him up and down.       The doors to the elevator opened up to Ji-Yong’s floor and the three of them continued onto the hallway toward Ji-Yong’s place. Reaching his front door, he pulled out his keycard and opened the door and before the other two could come in Ji-Yong paused and turned to face the other two.       “Thanks for looking out for me like you guys did today”       “Hyung did I just imagine it or did he actually thank us for something?”       “You know what Seungri I think he did” Young-Bae smiled.
      “I know I haven’t been the best leader to you all, let alone best friend in the past few months but I want you know know that I sincerely appreciate you all putting up with me…”       “That’s all we’ve been wanting to hear!”       “Any time Hyung-ie~!”       “With that being said, I want to be alone” Ji-Yong stepped inside and slammed the door before either of the other two could get a word in edgewise.
      After the events that took place throughout the day, Ji-Yong wanted nothing more than to pour himself into bed. Getting to his room he shut the curtains, turned off the lights and mid taking off his shirt he winced at a sharp pain shot right up his arm; he had forgotten he broken his knuckles.       “Tsk, well I guess this is ruined” he muttered to himself observing the damage he had done to his favorite dress shirt.       He tossed it in the general direction of his waste basket and plopped face first into his bed. When had he gotten to this point in his life? When did he begin to feel so lonely in a room of thousands? The ironic thing was that he found solace when he was actually alone. Truthfully he had nothing to complain about, he had it all: fame, money, souped up cars, even all the women he could ask for. But despite everything he had, there was still one thing he was missing; her. He rolled over on his back and pulled out his phone from his pant pocket, scrolling through his photos he’d found some silly pictures he had taken of the members, the further he scrolled the more fond memories came clamoring back into his head. But there was one 30 second, black and white video at the end of his camera roll he never remembered taking. He pressed the play button and it was just himself on his bed staring into the camera. The Ji-Yong in the video looked to someone outside of the frame and smiled.
      ‘Babe what are you doing?’ the voice laughed.       ‘Nothing just waiting for you’ he smiled again.       ‘You are such a weirdo’ the voice laughed again.       ‘Yea but you’re the one who made the mistake in dating me so--’ he raised up out of frame and when he came back down onto the bed he brought a giggling Alex down on top of him. He briefly kissed her before he tucked a wet piece of hair behind her ear. He moved the camera closer to their faces.
      ‘Eww Ji-Yong no, I look so gross right now I just got out of the shower’       ‘No way, I honestly wish you could see how I see you through my eyes’       ‘But if you’re looking at the world through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags’       He smiled again ‘I love you’       She sighed ‘I guess I love you too’ her eyes flickered to the camera ‘Okay, let’s just turn this off now’       ‘No baby wai--’
      His screen cut back to the thumbnail.       Of all the stupid things he had done thus far in his life, his biggest regret was the day he let her go.
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shepgarrus · 7 years
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so i ended up talking more on skype about the shakarian soulmate au i talked about in the tags on this post:
#okay but shakarian au where this is a thing #and you get some kind of mark/bruise for any injury #and they can tell from the injury frequency and type that the other's a soldier too #and then the worry when they discover a serious-looking wound/mark and hoping the other is okay and gets through it #and watching their recovery through the mark/bruise healing #and garrus and shep not finding out until garrus takes the rocket to the face :)))))))))) #GARRUS ASSUMED HIS LACK OF MARKS WAS BECAUSE EITHER HIS SOULMATE RETIRED FROM THE MILITARY OR DIED #BUT HE DOESN'T REALLY REGISTER THE LACK UNTIL OVER A YEAR AFTER SHEPARD DIED #also shep being able to follow the healing of garrus's face via her own marks even when he won't say anything about it
Friend: I love the soulmates au thing Me: shepard having a helmet on when they go to get archangel Friend: ...would garrus have the cybernetic scarring Me: gGGGGGGgGGGSGSGGSGW Me: I'D ONLY BEEN THINKING IF THE MARK FROM HIS INJURY WOULD AFFECT THE CYBERNETICS Friend: Or just scarring without glowy things Me: ..........i want yes Me: or like. cracks in his plating Me: depending on timeline if his squad is still alive they notice before he does (because he never looks in a mirror) and he's very confused and when he sees he makes something up about something happening when he was on a patrol Me: but he can't think of anything that could have caused them so guess his soulmate's alive after all? and must have been in an accident or something Me: and later as his heat sinks are dwindling as he defends the bridge he thinks about the shock his soulmate will get if/when he gets taken out by a bullet to the head
Friend: AAA Me: and garrus takes off his helmet and i would think shep would take hers off too but we'll say it's semi-opaque so he can still see her but the scars are hidden Me: so it stays on Me: and shep doesn't really notice the cracks/hasn't been alive/looked at herself long or well enough to connect it to the pattern of her scars Me: and her helmet stays on when they're evac'ing him to the normandy after the rocket Me: and maybe she finally takes it off once she's in the medbay with just chakwas and unconscious garrus Friend: Chakwas just goes :0 and simply stares Me: and chakwas points it out Me: well she's very focused on getting to work on saving garrus Friend: Oh I thought like after garrus was saved fshhdhsa Me: but she mentions it as she's working aka trying to shoo shep out Me: and say there's a mirror in there and shep looks and the whole side of her face and neck are fucked up (i was just imagining bruises instead of like. you suddenly start bleeding externally lmao) and she's like 'wtf' Me: and she's dehydrated and in a bit of a daze and hasn't slept so she just numbly puts her helmet on so that no one will see Me: and goes up to her cabin to shower etc Me: and after/during the shower she can see the marks changing as chakwas proceeds through the surgery Me: fixing parts, making cuts, adding cybernetics Me: the surface/pattern on her skin literally changes right as she watches it in the mirror Me: (hope that's not like.........body horror-y) Friend: Yeah lmao it would be kinda weird if someone suddenly started bleeding Me: the original post mentioned little cuts but.........in this universe we're talking gunshot wounds lmao Me: things could just appear as scabbed-over marks/wounds immediately Friend: Shdhss Me: or the skin could just. change color or bruise or w/e Me: so she watches that for a while but she's barely staying awake so she goes to sleep after checking with edi/chakwas that garrus is still gonna be in surgery for a while Me: actually maybe we'll say this shep managed to disable edi in her cabin Me: so when she gets up and sees that she still has the marks from garrus's injury she doesn't know if it means he's alive or not Me: maybe the soulmate thing isn't like. confirmed? Me: like it's a strong myth based on the idea from the original post but science hasn't confirmed it Me: so people wouldn't know like. if your marks disappeared when your soulmate died or if you kept the marks because they were still on your soulmate's body Me: or if the marks would fade in time after their death (maybe in time with body decomposition/destruction/cremation/whatever they do in the future) or if the mark of what killed your soulmate stays on your body forever Friend: Oooooo Me: so yeah we could have her message chakwas or her getting/having a message from jacob for the comm room thing Me: maybe part of what chakwas said the day before was that they could look at fixing the bruises/whatever on shepard's face that next day once garrus was dealt with so for now shepard covers them with makeup that was already in her room/bathroom when she came (matched to her of course) Me: because holy hell it's weird af and not something she wants other people seeing Friend: Sjhdhsa Me: and maybe when she gets down to the medbay chakwas isn't there (because she's sleeping) and there's just a cerberus nurse monitoring/talking to garrus who's awake Me: about caring for the wound or whatever Me: and after that's done they both leave the medbay together and shep doesn't want to put off talking about the marks so she takes garrus up to her cabin Me: because no bugs Me: and tells garrus to sit/chill while she goes into the bathroom and gets the makeup off Me: and garrus probably hasn't even thought of/made the connection between his cracks and shepard's glowing scars Me: he might not have looked at himself much at all since finding out about them and probably forgot Me: so shepard comes out of the bathroom and garrus sees her face/neck and is like umMMMMMMMM Me: and shepard's like 'this appeared yesterday after the mission' Me: and i want garrus to stand up and go over to her and move the neck of her shirt aside to see that the marks continue down to her shoulder/collarbone like his does Me: BUT IDK IF THAT'S THE RIGHT THING[TM] Friend: BLESS Me: i guess i can say garrus is tired too lmao Me: it'd be a lot easier to figure shit like this out IF I'D FUCKING PLAY ME1 LMAO Me: so shep stays still while garrus does that Me: and that's when she notices the cracks on garrus's face Me: and she got a bit more familiar with her own the night before when watched her reflection for so long Friend: Aaaaa Friend: Yeet yes Me: but she reaches up to touch one of her own scars with her fingers just to be sure Me: and garrus notices and he's like. buffering on something to say when shep says 'your face is cracked' Me: and then garrus laughs because that's a joke/insult for turians Me: maybe shep knows or maybe she doesn't Friend: Sdfghjl Me: either way that breaks the weird tension that had been building and shepard laughs too and runs her fingers through her hair and she and garrus take a step back/go back to normal personal space levels (which is still closer than normal people l m a  o) Me: and shep's like 'guess it's not a myth after all' Me: because soldiers can probably write off a lot of weird bruising lmao Me: and maybe turians have more knowledge of the marks than humans/actually believe in it Me: so garrus is a little ?? at that comment but then they clarify that Me: and then talk about how garrus is glad she's back/she's glad garrus is there Me: PLOT SETUP IS EASY CHARACTERS ARE HARD Me: omg they talk about some of the injuries/marks they've seen from each other Me: like 'wtf was THAT one' or 'my mom saw that one and i got in trouble' Friend: Sdfhk Me: I REACH THE TIME FOR CUTE STUFF BUT THEN................CAN'T COME UP WITH THE CUTE STUFF Me: idk if i want them to kiss now or later Me: like maybe at first they figure they're platonic soulmates and are basically like 'fuck yeah best friends' Me: but then slowly/later on realize 'oh shit do i want more' Me: maybe they both just go with/cling to platonic soulmates or whatever because of what garrus says when explaining turian views on soulmates, that it's not always romantic Me: sorry boy you went fucking crazy with grief when she died that ain't platonic Friend: Sdfhkl Me: GARRUS KNOWING FOR SURE IT'S SHEP BECAUSE OF THE MARKS
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