#i should probably make a tag for this kinda stuff if i ever ramble in the future

[junktastic]

I had a drawing months back that went kinda viral I guess, and it getting out of my normal sphere of followers meant that I got to observe how folks far outside of my twitter sphere interact with twitter and others. For reference, I am talking about this image:

The context, besides getting to draw my friend Jenny, was that I saw a picture that was of an anime girl that said "lets be in our early 30s together" and I was like "haha, I will make my own version of this." Part of it was also that I think aging is fine, and we need to stop stressing so much over staying young. "Lets be in our mid-thirties together" is not a joke, I sincerely wanted this image to be warm and inviting, to maybe give people hope that there will be friends and people who love you once you get to that age. I never thought I was going to make it to 30, and I just turned 35 this year, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Some responses were obviously teens/early 20s people saying they don't want to get that old, which is whatever. When you're that young the dirty thirty sounds so ugly. No one cool is in their 30s! Well, if you ignore the people who make all the things they like. These responses I waved these off.

I saw the typical twitter experience replies of "this doesn't apply to me?" Ok bitch! Go make your own like I did! And show me when you do, I'd love to see it!

There was a handful of people who were saying "retweet to scare a twink" which I felt was kind of rude. Not to me, but to the twinks out there. Aging doesn't make you less of a twink.

Lots of people were sending it to their significant others or saying they hope to find someone to be in their mid-thirties with, which I love. :3 It makes me happy!

The one kind of response which is what I made this post for and I'm so sorry that I've been rambling, that I found weird was the people who will reply to just you. The OP. As if they are replying to everyone in the thread. I'm not talking about in QRTs, just straight in the replies. "Don't forget how tired she looks in this." Brother I drew the picture. I know. And ever since then I feel like, as someone who loves to read the replies on other people's tweets, I notice this a lot more often. Who are they talking to? Is this what people are referring to when they say "Main Character Syndrome?" Or should I be lumping these together with the "why isn't this about my exact personal life situation" people?

My fiancé says I'm thinking about this too hard (I got engaged last month btw), and he's probably right. I can't help but be curious about how other people choose to interact with the internet and images and people on it. And, I guess, am I supposed to reply? How should I feel about these. I guess I have to decide that on my own.

For the record, you are all very normal/understandable when it comes to what you guys tag my stuff with. That you love the girls (same!), that they're very gender (love this), or wow is this [insert fetish](not my intention but that's the internet). I feel like the slime girls get the "gender" comment the most and you are all so right for that. Every time I see people reblog my ocs I think "Thank you for loving [name]."

That's all! This was a pointless post but I'm unemployed right now so I have too much time to overthink things for no reason. How do YOU feel about how people interact with your posts? Are they weird? Or are they normal about it.

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

On thin ice (Hockey player! Miguel O’Hara x Figure skater! Fem! Reader)

Y’all… this word count… I’m was almost gonna slept it up but decided not too. Anyways hehe. Also the last chapter is gonna be posted on Halloween at the witching hour in PST, cause Halloween chapter! so I’m excited about that lol. The usual, not proofread, Miguel might be ooc.

(Y/F/N)- Your full name.

Not much Miguel and reader interaction but what is there is worth it. Me attempting to write about sports stuff I don’t know anything about even though I promise I did attempt research. Cursing (I think tbh I can’t even remember but probably), fluff (if you squint?????), I’m giving up on these tags lmao.

Word count: 2.8k

Series Masterlist

Chapter 14: Ever thought of callin’ when you’ve had a few? ‘Cause I always do.

—

It wasn’t entirely surprising how quickly you got everyone in your group to agree to go to the game later, although you were expecting Logan to be against the idea since he hates the sport, but apparently his want to see you and Miguel get together was stronger than his hate for hockey since he immediately agreed.

You were currently in your 4-way shared Airbnb getting ready for the hockey game, having already been kicked out of the dorms by the university despite there being a game tonight, which didn’t make sense in your opinion, but that’s neither here nor there. Usually you would usually travel back home during the breaks, but due to you and Logan participating in regionals this year, you had to stay in Nueva York, you had both decided to stay in one rather than a regular hotel since it would be cheaper, Kate and Xavier tagged along for emotional support.

“I’ve never actually attended a hockey game, what do you wear? Probably a crew neck or a hoodie right? It’s still an ice rink. Maybe I should wear school merch, ugh but the only school related jacket I have is our skating team varsity jackets.” Kate, Logan and Xavier just stayed silent as they watched you rambled on, their faces full of amusement (and from Logan just the slightest bit of annoyance) as they watched you freak out , glancing at you every once and a while as you kept pacing between the hallway bathroom and your room as you attempted to get ready for the game despite it not starting for another 3 and a half hours.

“You should have asked Miguel for one of his spare jerseys.” Logan teased as he wandered towards your doorframe and leaned against it as he watched you dump your suitcase over your bed. How the hell do you not have a red or blue jacket??

“Shut up Logan.”

“You’re overthinking this, you know.”

“What? No I’m not.” Oh, you totally overthinking this.

“He’s got you whipped.” Logan snickered, shaking his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. You in response threw a pillow in his direction, which he hit to dodge.

“You’re not funny Logan. Do you have a school sweatshirt I can borrow?” You said, releasing a deep exhale through your nose as you turn to look at him.

“I think I think I have a spear.” He replied as he picked up the pillow off the floor and tossed it on your bed. “I just don’t want Miguel trying to beat me up over you wearing my jacket.” He added as he walked over to where you were standing, stopping once he was right next to you.

“He wouldn’t, I promise. I won’t let him.”

—

“This is actually kinda fun to watch.” Xavier said to Kate, as she glanced over to you before back at the rink. The spiders were currently in the lead 2 to 1 and it was about to be the end of the first period, a little less than 6 minutes before the timer reaches zero.

“It’s totally scary though.” Kate said as she took a sip of her soda, you nodding in agreement.

“So glad I went into figure skating…” Logan muttered as his eyes widened, an almost horrified look spreading on his face, but he couldn’t look away. You would have giggled at his reaction if you didn’t feel the same way. Both sports are dangerous just in their own ways.

You turned your head as you saw Peter pass the punk to Miguel, who you believed was playing center, (you watched one of those 10 minute crash course videos on how hockey works before you came to the show because whether if you were aware of it or not, Logan was right about you being whipped already) as he was making his way closer to the goal, when one of the players on the opposite team came crashing into him back first. The other player’s elbow “accidentally” hit Miguel’s face, and Miguel was knocked back, landing against the wall as the player on the opposite side took the puck.

“What the fuck-.” You muttered under your breath in shock, cringing slightly as you watched Miguel’s hand going up to cover his mouth, his face wincing in pain, your hands going up to mirror his actions. As soon as Miguel’s hand made contact with his mouth, a timeout was called. The spider's couch went up to Miguel first, talked to him for a bit before walking over to where the referee was. You couldn’t hear anything from either interaction, so you just watched silently, ignoring your friends glances towards you, keeping your eyes on Miguel, worried written on your face. Miguel’s eyes shift around the arena, before finding yours, you can tell he’s trying not to cringe as much as soon as your eyes meet, as if he didn’t want you to see him in pain.

Once you two were looking at each other, you took your hand off your face and mouthed an “are you okay?” to which Miguel took his hand off his mouth and gave you a thumbs up and a smile, but his smile didn’t free you of your worries, in fact, it made it worse, before you could stop your body, you let out a gasp as your eyes widened. His mouth was bleeding, and it was bleeding a lot.

His expression seemed to falter a bit upon seeing your reaction, to what though you couldn’t really tell. Panic? Worry? You don’t know. Other then the initial pain he felt when the elbow made contact with his face, Miguel wasn’t really worried about his injury despite the metallic taste filling his mouth, he didn’t feel anything break or a tooth fall out, sure he’ll probably be sore from a few hours and will have to clean his mouth guard, maybe think about getting a cage instead (this wasn’t the first time someone has elbowed him in the face during a game) but he knows it’s a part of the sport, that’s what he signed up for when he started playing. So why was it that seeing the concern on your face made his chest tighten with guilt? Miguel didn’t have another time to dwell on his thoughts before his coach sent him to the locker room to clean up.

—

Miguel felt like he was going to go insane if he didn’t get the taste of blood out of his mouth. He’s already gone through 4 sticks of gum and had to refill his water bottle twice in an attempt to flesh out the coppery taste from his senses. He let out a frustrated huff of annoyance as he spat out another piece of gum and brought his water up to his mouth and took a big swig, gargling it a bit before spitting it out in a sink and finally started to make his way out, his bag with his gear slung over his shoulder as he exited the locker room. They had won the game luckily, but Miguel wasn’t as happy as he wanted to be about the victory, maybe it was because he was still mad about getting elbowed in the mouth, maybe it was because he had to be benched due to him getting injured so early in the game or maybe it’s because out of all the games he played this season, of course he got injured at the one you were attending.

Most of the team has gone home already, some stragglers were left, two of those being Miguel and Peter, and Miguel wouldn’t be surprised if you had left already, he probably would have if he was in your shoes. Maybe you got the ick from him now after watching him get hit in the face, and he would be back in square one all over again, the thought was more painful then the hit to his mouth. His mind was running a mile a minute as we made his way down the hall and towards the main exit to head to his car where Peter was most likely already waiting for him. As he walked, he was trying to keep his thoughts on his sore jaw and about the game, trying to to not think about how you saw him get hit, or how your face twisted in disgust at the sight of his bloody smile after you asked him if he alright, the embarrassment and angry he felt when after he came back from the locker room Coach Turner benched him, how-

Is that you talking to Peter in the parking lot???

“I should turn around and wait till she leaves…” he told himself under his breath, but his feet continued to move him closer to where both of you stood near Miguel’s car. Once he was a big closer Peter noticed him first, since your back was facing him, talking to him about something he couldn’t quite pick up on.

“Ah speak of the devil.” Peter said with a smirk, one you would haven’t thought much of, but Miguel knew that there was a smug undertone to it, as if he was right about something. “Sup Mig, we were just talking about you.” He continued as you turned to face him, your eyes widened for a split second as they scanned Miguel’s face, as if checking for more injuries, before you took a step closer to him, you hand instantly going to rest gently on his arm.

“Hey! Oh my god, are you okay? That hit looked brutal, god that jerk.” Miguel didn’t know if it was the way your tone and face went from concerned to annoyed as you spoke, or the way you hand went traveled from his arm to his chin, lightly gripping it and moving his face from side to side gently, mirroring his actions earlier in the day when he did the same to you after he bumped into you at lunch, but god did you make his heart burst with warmth.

“I’m okay ice princess, calm down.” Miguel assured you with a small smile, a chuckle escaping his swollen lips as he took your hand and brought it down away from his face, giving it a light squeeze as he did so. Neither of you have realized that Peter had slipped away into Miguel's car.

“Okay, okay good.” You sighed and nodded, glad to know he was relatively okay.

“Didn’t mean to get you all worried Princesa.”

You scoff, taking your hand away from him and lightly hit his chest.

“God, you always gonna say something stupid, huh?” You rolled your eyes, but your tone couldn’t hide the smile forming on your face.

“Of course I do, ice princess, how else am I supposed to annoy you?”

—

To say you were nervous was a complete understatement, you have never been more terrified for a skating performance in your life. It was your first time performing for regionals after all.

You had barely gotten a wink of sleep, a few hours at most, but you mostly spent the night twisting and turning, glancing at your phone to look at the time, before letting out a frustrated groan and pulling your sheets up a bit higher in an attempt to get yourself to finally sleep. But your attempts were mostly futile, finally throwing in the towel around 5:00 in the morning, deciding it would be better to spend your time Getting ready for the day you’ve been anticipating rather then attempting to get another hour of sleep you know you won’t get.

By the time the clock had struck 5:30, you'd already packed your equipment in your bag, and had loaded it in Logan’s car, not surprised when you saw his back already packed, before making your way to the kitchen to make yourself breakfast, something light but enough to keep you full till lunch.

“You couldn’t sleep either?” Logan asked when you saw him enter the kitchen, two Starbucks cups hand, passing you one as he took a sip of his, his voice low as to not wake up Kate or Xavier. You let out a hum and nodded your head as you took the one he handed you and took a sip, the caffeine making you wince as you feel it try to wake your body up a bit.

“We should hit the road soon, coach Kavinsky said we should be at the rink by 6 so we can make it in time for check in and make it for our off ice warm up.” You said as you stood up from your seat, putting your dishes in the sink.

—

“God, I didn't know our short program would take so long…” Logan huffed as you both threw your figure skating jackets over your performance outfits for the first half of the competition, as you both rushed down the arenas long hallway being careful to avoid running into some of the other pairs as you made your way back to the locker rooms to change.

“Did you see Kate and her boyfriend?”

“No. Did you see Miguel and his friend?”

“No. I didn’t get enough time to look around the seats to find them.”

“Same.”

You both dropped the conversation once you both reached your respective locker rooms. Quickly changing out of the first dress and slipped the second one on, it was a full black dress with long mesh sleeves and smoke black mesh on your sides, being sure to be careful with the gemstones that were placed around the waistline and the chest, and the black feathers that accented the back in order to look like a pair of small wings as you slip your jacket back on, before going to change your lip color and eye makeup.

You were stressing hard, hell, you were surprised you were able to apply your eyeliner with a steady hand. You didn’t need to rush, since you and Logan weren’t going back on the ice for a while since they still had a few short programs to go through before you were supposed to go back on, but you tended to rush when you were nervous. Once you finished fixing your makeup you went to touch up your hair, placing two feathered wing hair clips that pinned flat against your head to match the ones of your costume, one of each side of your head. As you were placing some more bobby pins in your hair to help keep the small wings in place you heard your phone ding next to where you had placed it next to all your supplies. Once placing the last bobby pin in your hair, you grabbed your phone to open it and look at the notification.

Hey, you did amazing, can’t wait to watch your other dance. -unknown number

Fuck how your heart skipped a beat.

You didn’t even need to ask who it was to know it was Miguel, although you never gave him your phone number, so you were a bit curious as to who he had asked for it, but for now you’d have to push that to the back of your mind and focus at the more important upcoming task at hand.

—

“Next skaters going for the free skate, (Y/F/N) and Logan Martinez.”

A pause as the two go into their starting positions before Swan Lake by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky begins to fill the arena, the two skaters cladded in black, the gemstones on their costumes, despite their small size, shimmered brightly from the lights. No sounds other than the music filling the rink and the occasional swish from the skates slashing the ice.

You might be representing the black swan but you’ve never looked more like an angel in Miguel’s eyes. Despite the tragic atmosphere that the performance was depicting, you looked absolutely heavenly to him, he shouldn’t be surprised, this is what you love to do, what you wanted to do for a living. But he’s never got the chance, no starch that, the privilege of watching you do a routine in all of your full glory. He’s caught glimpses of you and Logan doing both routines during practices, but that was different, you wouldn’t portraying the emotions like you were right now, you wouldn’t wear the performance outfit like you were now, and the energy you were putting into the routine was far more grand than when you would practice back on the uni’s arena. He could already see himself watching from home as you and Logan were representing the country in the Olympics, but then again, maybe it was just his heart talking,being overzealous. He didn’t know if it was the performance or just your presence that he couldn’t tear his gaze from, but he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to look away in the first place.

You and Logan were selected to advance to sectionals.

—

Taglist: @tayleighuh @cowboylikeevie @coralineyouareinterribledanger @jukioku @loser-alert @miguel-ohara-eater @serpentstarr @littlexscarletxwitch @darksidescorner @sukioyakio @minimari415

[littledesertfox]

intro, I guess?

hii! I figured I should make a post like this even though I have a feeling it will be like super messy xD

I've had an interest in history, specifically World War II basically since I was a kid. It was only recently though that I found out that there's a community for it! I've always had a thing with expressing my interests in ways that may seem slightly odd to other people, so it feels nice to see that there are others who seem to experience this in similar ways :3

I want to make it very clear that I am NOT a nazi or rightwing in any way, and I don't want actual (neo-)nazis to interact with my blog, get the fuck out! Similarly, I don't want racists, lgbtq-phobes, ableists, religious extremists, pedos & zoos or people of similarly disgusting kind to interact! I'm literally queer and neurodivergent (undiagnosed/suspected bc getting a therapy place is hard :/), this is not a place for you!

+++

I've been a fan of the Downfall parodies on youtube when I was younger and recently relapsed into this fixation😭 I don't know if this fandom even really exists at this point since it seems that many creators have left in the meantime, but I'd love to talk about it, maybe I'll even get to write fanfics at some point. Also a short disclaimer that when I talk about historical figures that play a major role in the Downfall parody universe (such as Fegelein, Krebs, Burgdorf etc), it will usually be about their parody selves, not the real people! I'll try to clarify that individually if needed though.

I've also started lurking a little in the reichblr tag with a feeling that I'd describe as "indimidated fascination". Currently I'm mostly interested in some members of the Wehrmacht, but other historical figures that I had or have an interest in might come up as well. Overall any stuff that I post will probably go more into the lighthearted and humorous direction, but I'd love to bring in some more educational stuff as well.

My inbox is always open if you want to gush or ramble about your favourite historical figures or Downfall characters (both from the parodies and the movie itself) and such! Please talk to me about our shared faves😭🫶

+++

I get crushes on fictional characters and sometimes historical figures too, but that doesn't mean I support, condone or defend their worldviews or actions in any way (this applies especially to real people of course)! These "crushes" usually stem from a place of fascination with who they were behind their public appearance, I want to know more about them as a private person, like their hobbies, favourite food and other mundane things like that. Often it's also simply that I feel physically attracted to their appearance because I think they're handsome, either that or they give me massive gender envy (or both lmao). I don't really control on who I fixate like that, it just happens, but I hope that this will be a place for me to express those feelings in some way and find like-minded people. Though I also want to point out that not all my fixations are automatically also crushes! Usually I will mention whether they are or not, or you'll probably notice based on what kind of posts I make about them lol.

Current main historical fixations:

Erwin Rommel (I can't help it I just think he's cute ._.)

Fritz Bayerlein (he's the dude in my pfp lol, there's barely info about him but idk I just think he's kinda interesting😭 also yes he was actually bi)

Current main Downfall fixations:

Hans Krebs & Wilhelm Burgdorf (the otp ever)

Wilhelm Mohnke (ngl Downfall!Mohnke is kinda fine❤️‍🔥 ... idk maybe I'm just finding the actor hot though😭)

+++

If I encounter things that make me uncomfortable I follow common fandom courtesy and block tags or blogs accordingly. This is nothing personal, I'm just curating my own online space. I don't want to see any harassment here, neither towards myself nor to others!

Anyway I guess that's it for now? Idk if this is any good as an intro post but for now it'll have to do I guess😂 I'm generally not really sure yet in which direction to go with this blog (should it be more Downfall or reichblr focused? is there a lot of overlap between the fandoms? do they even get along? help😭). I also don't know how active I'll be in general, I'm also constantly jumping between thoughts like "yee this is gonna be fun" and "dafuq am I doing here I should feel ashamed about myself" but I hope to meet people who share my interests :3

[just-another-author-i-guess]

A little collection of fun things Judd does

Tags: fem! Reader, mentions of drugs, alcohol, pyromania?, just Judd things yk, maybe he should be a warning in himself, there’s like one brief mention of sex, generally creepy behavior, Judd being an unironic edge lord, author was sleep deprived

Playlist: I made him a fun little playlist, I tried very hard not to be biased and add songs I actually think he’d listen to instead of just songs I like lol

But! if you’d like to listen to some of Judd’s jams, you can do so HERE

Summary: part 2 to my Judd hc’s, read part one HERE

Author’s note: this,, just came to me. I’ve been taking random thoughts I had about Judd and added them to a docs document, and would you look at that! These hc’s wrote themselves! I think I babygirlyfied him a little bit, but yk what? He is my baby girl 💪

Just Judd things

Word count; 1,9K

Judd birch is known for many things, one of them being his smell

He always smells a bit.. funny

Not bad, just kinda like raccoons and alcohol, it’s an interesting smell

Often he also smells like some kinda polish, either because he’s been polishing his car or his knives

I’m sorry if I ruin y’all’s illusion, but he DOES NOT shower unless absolutely necessary

He only really showers if someone (probably you or his mom lol) tells him to, or if he had a particularly sweaty workout

Also, he would never admit this but sometimes he showers just to impress you

Always carries that certain Judd musk yk

He’s also one of those guys who washes their face like once every full moon but somehow still has flawless skin

If you ever convinced him to let you do his eyeliner, he would also not wash it off, just let it sit there and bake unless you washed it off for him

Anyways

Judd is mean as hell, a gaping asshole in his own words

But, he does respect his family somewhat

Even loves them a bit, if he’s being completely honest

Especially Diane

He holds a strong sense of respect for his mom, way more than his dad

It’s not like he’s gonna stop making low key misogynistic jokes for shits and giggles, but he often tries to dial back the cursing in front of her

Like he values her opinions and praise of him the most out of his family

He’s also super protective, mostly of his younger siblings

Like I mentioned before, he definitely has that kinda “edgy” humour

The guy probably says a lot of controversial stuff just to get a reaction

He literally pretends not to be a feminist just to piss off leah

(In reality, he genuinely doesn’t give one single shit about feminism)

Likewise he also just disagrees with whatever his family says just because they said it

But he will not hesitate to physically or verbally beat anyone who starts shit with his siblings

Forget all about is asshole-ness and such, he will obliterate anyone who hurt his siblings

Only he’s allowed to fuck with them lol

When he told Nick “you’ll die when I say you die” he really meant it

He actually also values the raccoons quite a bit

When he goes on his drunken rambles, they’re always there to listen yk

He has friends,, kinda, like he has people he tolerates more than others but he honestly doesn’t mind doing things alone

He enjoys his own company

But also the raccoons

It’s like a mentally unstable girl and her support cat, Judd just has his gang of raccoons

(He tells them all his secrets)

I feel like he would genuinely enjoy the company of an animal way more than people, not limited to raccoons

But he’s not nice to them, he’s never nice to anyone he cares about

He’s just doesn’t grasp the idea, being nice verbally means nothing to him

He’s a man of physical and action-based affirmations

It’s the little things that counts for him

Unless he knows someone who values affirming words, ect his family or girlfriend, he will very rarely go out of his comfort zone to grant them such

He’s so awkward verbally stating his feelings too omg,,

“Dad.. I.. love you..?” He’s like that each time he tries to come across as sincere, it’s like he’s questioning it as he’s speaking lol

He was like that as a kid too, he’s always just enjoyed creeping people out

He takes pride in his weirdness

The guy is very morally grey, the only thing he truly wants ever is the cause chaos

Or inflicting stress/pain on his siblings somehow

He doesn’t rough Leah up like he would with Nick, but he knows just how to get into her head

That’s another thing, he knows everyone’s business

Literally

Between hiding in the vents, being the designated dealer in town and generally the quiet kid in school, he knows what everyone’s up to

Even Nick and Leah’s friends

Knows all their names too

His parents definitely took him to a psychiatrist when he was younger, he was a very difficult child to deal with

Think gremlin meets Chucky

That’s baby Judd

His parents supported him though, and still do

Elliot especially tries to take interest in whatever Judd likes, bands, movies, setting things on fire, ect

Also, music wise, I think he’d really like the misfits

Probably also three days grace and oooh, definitely rob zombie

He just strikes me as that kinda guy

But also, he doesn’t know shit about the hands he listens to

He doesn't care enough to get into the people behind the music, you could literally ask him who’s in the band who wrote his favourite song and he wouldn’t know

Takes the term “separate the art from the artist” to a whole new level

If he doesn’t listen to music, he’s the type of dude to literally put “horror movie ambience” or “pov you’re getting murdered asmr” on or whatever the fuck

Also, he’s the type to strictly listen to music on YouTube, with adds because he doesn’t want to pay

He only has burner phones anyways, so he has to listen to music on his computer or whatever, he has a shit ton of obscure cd’s in his car though that he listens to as well

And on the topic of phones, because of his less than usual choice, literally no one has his number

Probably only Leah has his number? I feel like he’d only give it to her and maybe his girlfriend if you’re lucky

Leah has to text him like “mom says dinner is ready in 10” or “dad told me to text you to please come home soon” stuff like that, and she’s so done with it

He somehow has everyone’s number though

You’ll randomly get a text if he needs you, and he never tells you who it’s from

He will literally text you “I’m in your house” without any disclosure

Maybe he’ll add a few blurry pictures of something in your house as well

Oh but if he’s actually trying to scare you, expect pictures he took of rotting roadkill or a bloody ziplock back or something he found

He just loves gore and violence <3

Another thing he really, really, enjoys is scaring people

He deliberately hides behind doors or curtains to scare his family, he’s also really good at just being super silent?

If he doesn’t want to be found, you’re not gonna find him

If you sleep over at his house and use the bathroom by his room to brush your teeth, the fucker will be standing behind you in the mirror when you come up from rinsing your mouth

He scares those he cares about, what can I say

Well he also scares everyone else, he’s kinda feral

As I said before, it’s not like he doesn’t socialise at all, bc like, he’s literally everyone’s dealer

Idek where he gets his stuff from, but everyone knows Leah and Nick as Judd’s little siblings because they have bought from him one time or another

Not only limited to drugs, he also always has alcohol

(He robbed a liquor store)

Somehow they never found out it was him?? Even though it’s exceedingly obvious and he keeps doing it every other week or so

Some of your dates casually turns into “hey let’s rob a store” and it’s actually so chill

As a consequence of his never ending supply of Jack Daniel’s, he’s like chronically hung over

Always kinda tired and complaining that his head hurts

Literally has a hangover 6 out of 7 days of the week

He also has a bit of a pyromaniac streak

Sometimes buildings in town just sorta,, burn down

I feel like people in town know it’s Judd, but the police force is actually useless so again, he never gets caught

Actually he got caught once, because he was high and accidentally left a lighter at the crime scene

It was before he turned 18 though, so he got no major consequences besides like a night in jail and being grounded for a really long time

I imagine that might have been why he ran away? Man’s didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of his own consequences

He actually really likes consequences of things, just not when it actually turns out to be inconvenient for him

But like, he’s really fascinated by watching things slowly unfold if yk what I mean

He’s quite a patient guy, he literally had the patience to train a whole ass battalion of raccoons

But my point is, he can wait a long periods of time while plotting his sinister plans

He’s a supervillain at heart fr

And as I said before, he exists to cause chaos

I feel like he would literally worship the chaos theory, and he would definitely mansplain it to you

Judd doesn’t believe in god, but he believes in the chaos theory

That’s probably why he’s so into horror, but like a certain kind

He doesn’t really care too much about paranormal or psychological horror

He still watches it, but it’s just not his favourite

What he really loves, is the gorefests

Murderporn if you will

He lives and breathes bloody slasher movies, where people get pointlessly murdered left and right

Literally the more gritty the better

Especially if it’s one of those where all the women gets murdered with their tits out

Horror movies makes him horny help—

No but actually, he’s so annoying to watch them with, because even if it’s a movie he likes HE WILL NOT STOP COMMENTING

starts muttering every other minute about how that flesh wound is not realistic and how it would actually look

How does he know this? You don’t want to ask

But back to the horny part, if you’re dating him, you almost always fuck to horror movies instead of music

If Judd puts on a horror movie, yk what he’s initiating

It’s either that, or he lets you choose the music in his car

Two very subtle, but yet very clear demands of what he wants

Another thing, he loves when you scratch him up

On his chest, on his back, anywhere

Just having those long, red nail marks on his skin does stuff to him

The same with leaving marks on you, he’s so into it

He needs you to be absolutely as bitten and bruised up as you can possibly be

And it doesn’t limit to you, no, no please, bite him back

He’ll love it

(People around you are slightly concerned)

Now I’ve just listed a bunch of things he likes, but like whatever he’s doing, he’s gonna seem super indifferent

He’s just,,, always scowling

My man’s not coded to show joy

Wait okay no, but like he can smile, it just looks unnatural lol

Sometimes, he even laughs (mainly when others are in misery)

But generally, he’s just pretty stoic

And also, he doesn’t truly have that many opinions on stuff

He literally doesn’t care, but that’s kinda expected for someone who’s biggest wish is to go permanently off the grid

Like, he could be delivered the deadliest insult ever, or see a house burning down or something and he would still be like ._.

It takes quite a lot to get him to move his face muscles, is what I’m saying

Generally, it’s gonna take a lot to get him to care about anything

Wow 🤩 more judd headcannons

These were a bit pointless ig, but I enjoyed making them haha, I hope you enjoyed it! And if you listened to the playlist, I hope that was alright too 💪

Tags: @dlfvrr @bxbyyyjocelyn

[courtivia-livia]

Been seeing some weird stuff in the tags lately so I feel I should make my position clear on shipping in the Smosh fandom, as I've seen other people do. I've recently started making more of my own posts on this blog so that's why it feels like a good idea to make this post. It might be kinda rambly and I'm sorry if my English is poor.

Idk really where to start but: 1. I think the shipping of real ppl belong in spaces where the people involved can't see it (unless they seek it out). Don't send ship-stuff to anyone who works at Smosh. 2. I think we should be respectful abt how we talk abt them in general but to be specific to this post, how we talk abt them in shipping-context. They are real ppl, with the right to privacy. 3. Speculation on ppls sexuality is not ok and its something that is very private. If they want to share it with us they will, but until then we don't know and we shouldn't assume things. 4. Shipping is meant to be fun, I don't view it as something serious. When I say I ship something I mean I like the dynamic and I think the idea of them being together as more than friends is fun but not something based in reality. 5. On that note, please be chill abt shipping! Don't send hate to ppl who ship stuff just bc you ship a different ship. If someone is being disrespectful ofc tell them, but don't be hateful for the sake of it.

I also quickly want to adress my own blog, considering I have a ship in the name of my blog. I made this blog a long time ago, and back then Courtivia was a bigger ship than it is now. I still ship it but I obviously don't think Courtney and Olivia are together in reality, nor have ever had any romantic feelings for each other. The same goes for Amangela, I don't think they are together or have any romantic feelings towards each other. I like the Courtivia and Amangela dynamics as friends and entertainers, and sometimes I engage in shipping content with them, but only in a fun fandom way.

Maybe I'm forgetting some points, might add them in later if that's the case but this my stance in general. This is probably the longest post I've ever made on this blog lmao, I hope what I've written makes sense. Feel free to ask questions abt it if it's unclear or to add points if I missed any!

[moshieee]

Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?

Oh hi @bixell-pixell I'll include you even if we're not mutuals I think you're pretty chill all things considered

That's kinda it idk you that well

Anyways

You didn't specify so I'm going to list all my mutuals in the order of oldest to newest on my following page that I remember sorry of I missed anyone and for the @ s

*inhales*

@e-the-village-cryptid (I don't have a tag for e yet but it would probably just be E)

Not only the first person who I became friends with here but also the first one I ever started sharing my stories with, even if we don't talk too much I'm glad Every time we do and I see them on my dash, (they bring some of my favorite posts and when I do send posts sometimes I mix up and send them their own reblogs) I'm so glad we're still friends, thanks for letting me ramble about stuff for 6 hours hehe

@jaqofallgenders (no tag for jaq yet either)

my in person friend and the longest friendship I've ever had with someone, love you 🫶. I'll be more specific on Monday if our ADHD doesn't kick in and make us both forget

@strawberry-seal77 (seal-berry!!!)

Hi hi hi yellows my friend 👋 the person I consider to be the second ever friend I made on here, a lovely person as well and wait waaa and an amazing artist too 👀??? Love you silly goofball and the amazing posts and jokes you have we should chat more often I thinkith.

@rabid-mercenary16 (Rabid jumpscare)

Hey hey hey .... BWAMP! Hope you feel better soon

I probably have the most to say about Rabid but all try to make it a bit shorter. besides being the first artist to do art jokes and include me, with we also became mutuals and interacting around a time when my life started to get a lot better. Even if she's not the only factor in that I definitely associate her with stuff improving, and she did play a big factor in it (I already explained a lot on my Valentine's Day gift to her and the others). Also she's just an awesome person to spend time with and be goofy, amazing sense of humor and I just love being friends with such an awesome person and artist.

@dia-smthidk (Dia fren)

I'm assuming you don't want a bowl of soup

I also said a lot about them in my Valentine's Day gift, but we've become closer friends sense then even if we don't get to chat as much as I'd like to. I relate a lot and am surprised how we have so much in common. Amazing artist and person as well and I wish we could hang out more, idc if they think they're bringing down the mood when/if they bring stuff up about irl, and maybe I won't figure out their timezone but oh well, please take care of yourself gender sibling.

@bunnybunnsowo (BUN BUN BROTHER!!)

little brother 🫶🫶💝💞🫶✨👋❤️!!!

(I could have sworn we became mutuals before Dia?)

another person I shared a lot about with the Valentine's Day gift, I love you my little brother! Seriously one of the kindest people I've met and I'm so glad they have bug in his life. Bun deserves the world and they keep sending me opposum images!!! Gona die from cuteness and his kindness one of these days istg

@spookykittyzzz (greaah why don't I have a tag for you???)

A very kind person and artist I don't know too much sense we're not that close yet but love the few chats we have had so far. Hope we get to hang out more even if I'm awful at reaching out to others and saying hi.

@glitchyk (goop buddies)!!

Nooo the parallels

One of the first people who was interested to deep dive into my creations and ask about my stories and worlds They're probably competing with Rabid with how much I have to say about her/silly. Seriously it's incredible how much we have in common and now I get to share and collaborate our sonas stories together it's amazing. And as someone once said "you can yap for hours". I love how creative and clever they are, I just wish they would be kinder to herself. One day I'll make glichy see how awesome she is.

@unfunnyaceartist (Floridian disadvantage) I feel like I should change that

When I say I was shookith when ace asked to be friends I mean I was shookith first person so show up and ask that (the others kinda just happened). Amazing artist and don't believe her lies she is funny. I'm so heckn glad we're friends., love the goofy and silly idc if she's a bit of a simp they've helped me a lot start to understand slang and references I'm supposed to understand shhshsh (such is the curse of how I grew up) we need to make our mafia sonas interact at some point I can already imagine the chaos /silly

@neptunestoast (plushy slime)

Hugs hugs hugs*

Trying my best not to baby talk I swear. amazing person first person to show up and be like "hey I Wana do something for you and your friends". Love their humor and another gender sibling!!! Hugs for ever for as long as they're ok with it. I love their creativity as well and Noodle is so adorable. I just want to pick them up in a hug so much. Kibbity/silly

@ner5y (no tag woops ill figure something out)

What are you doing here??? How are we friends???

I was absolutely confused and startled when they followed me especially since it was during a spoons argument . Amazing artist like holy heck I wish I was allowed to curse on this blog. Their humor also took me by surprise when I got invited to the discord, and even if they doubt how well they're running it I think they're doing amazing. And I love our silly interactions like this one

@vexation-816 (chaotic ADHD buddy!!!)

Why did it take me so long to follow you istg

ADHD ADHD ADHD my buddy oh pal we both got that and it's driving us insane/silly. Love how creative he is and the ideas for his sona and character lore. Also one of the first people who shared a character they added to my nightlight au. This is getting twords the end and I'm tired of whiting so much and am on a timer oh no. But your amazing dude don't ever forget thag

@butlerbugbunny (anxiety bunny buddy)

This is why I didn't respond to the DM yet hshsh

New friend who I feel anxious talking to sometimes but a wonderful kind bunny who I'm also incredibly happy to be friends with. Love his art so much it's amazing (shoot shoot timer is going off) I'm glad he's their for bun and wish them the best I possibly can 🫶.

@lilithloves-you (lillith my be-loathed?) need to change that

Don't you dare bring up grilled cheese

Glitchys friendo who I'm also friends with now. We don't interact too much but I've sent her on missions to go hug glitchy (to help both of them feel better but shhh). I hope we become closer friends in the future.

[wawamouse]

so you write Oz like it’s high concept novel quality I just wanted to say that first off. Fontana should give you the rights tbh

curious as to if you see the potential to ever write Miguel/Alonzo as romantic or mutual? the way you write them is so rawly intriguing and ambiguous the way it is dgmw! just that I find it interesting to consider them in all different configurations w romance+the Consequences thereof as one of many options

Hahah thank you <3

Idk, tbh I’ve never thought of writing Miguel/Alonzo straight up… I know I have like 1 fic tagged as them but I should probably take that tag off the fic bc it’s not really there like that/I scaled back on some of stuff I had planned anyway :S… It’s kinda funny because I remember watching Oz Youtube clips before I’d watched the show (like, back in middle school maybe, when I was a dumb little homo desperate to find queer rep in media blah blah blah). Back then lowkey highkey being very intrigued by Torquemada, but then I watched the actual show and I was like oh boo… He’s barely in it.

That’s all to say, I find him entertaining as a character and I think it’d be interesting to try and tackle a character study of him (of course, I’d be making up a lot 🥴) but I don’t think my default interpretation of his character is really a thing that makes it possible to write him in any kind of romantic relationship, you know? Based on what little we learn of him from the show, I feel like his main thing is like getting off on power imbalances, voyeurism, enmeshment—that kind of thing. Which is interesting! But yeah, no, I don’t really see romance for him. Without getting too into it, he seems more… business minded, to me? I feel like he just wants to scare the hoes and get rich, which is pretty funny of him. I think exploring some kind of dynamic between Miguel and Alonzo that I haven’t already done yet would be fun bc I tend to write Alonzo as just a creep near Miguel, unless he’s an AU version of himself… and honestly, I prefer the idea of a fun, chaotic Torquemada to the creep but it's so clear that Miguel thinks Alonzo's a creep that I guess I end up writing him that way too 🤷🏻‍♂️

Writing a fic where Alonzo turns out to be actually helpful/a tentative ally once/if Miguel is able to set boundaries/get his head on right, etc, would be interesting 🤔, but yeah, that’s about the extent of where my head’s at with them. Plot Plot, not ship stuff LOL.

(Rambled, sorry + this is probably not the answer you were looking for so sorry x2)

Tldr: I don’t think writing Miguel/Alonzo as mutual or romantic is really in the cards for me atm

[lothcatthree]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

thank you for tagging me @forloveofcodywan (i've been wanting to do this one for a while)

under the cut so i don't plague your dash

1.) How many works do you have on ao3?

16 (i used to have >30 but i orphaned half of them bc i wrote them when i was 14 and nobody needs to see that)

2.) What’s your ao3 word count?

162,724

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

star wars all day babey. i dabbled in steve x bucky from 2017-2018 ish, but star wars has had my brain in a vice grip since 2015 (i was another victim to the sequels causing a sw renaissance).

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

the right feeling - from my finnpoe days :') this is part 1 of a soulmate au series. this one has 4.7k words.

i think i was blind before i met you - steve x bucky (damn we're going way back, this is 7 years old) modern au with barista steve and college student disaster bucky. 15k words.

please stay for awhile now - finnpoe, again for the win. this is part 2 of the soulmate au series. 5.6k words.

we should just kiss like real people do - finnpoe. this is the fourth and final part of the soulmate au series. hurt/comfort, recovery, all the good stuff. 8.2k words. (i suppose we all needed the soulmate finnpoe fluff in 2016, judging by these stats).

but through it all, i will need you anyways - current codywan WIP!! fix-it fic with just an insane amount of disgustingly tooth-rotting fluff. no clone death, just good feelings. this has been ENTIRELY self-indulgent and i started it when i got initial codywan brain rot. 64k words and counting!

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

oh my god yes, i love comments and it puts the biggest smile on my face knowing that people took time out of their day to write something nice for my little ramblings :')

6.) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

jesus, literally none of them. i have to do happy endings, i'm too fragile. closest would be i hate you, fuck you, please never stop looking at me which is wolfwren PWP, except they still kinda hate each other at the end. (this barely counts because i am writing a follow-up that explores more of their feelings for each other and has a happy ending)

7.) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ALL OF THEM. idk what to tell you. probably the cheesiest ending is the dinluke modern soulmate au i just wrote - how did i ever live without you?

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

no, thank god. i keep things pretty vanilla and i tag very thoroughly to do my best to avoid any hurt feelings. (also i've just simply been lucky to never experience that)

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

oh fuck yeah. 2/3 of my fics are explicit. mostly m/m, one f/f and two m/m/m. we have fun over here.

10.) Do you write cross overs? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no, this would break my brain. next question.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, unless it has been and they're very good about hiding it (doubt it, tho. i'd be a weird choice to steal from)

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i would love it!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, but i have been thinking more and more that i would love to do this!!

14.) What’s your all time favourite ship?

this is so hard. . i think codywan has been the one ship that has just slapped my across the face and gave me stockholm syndrome. I think about them.... All the Time. second closest would be finnpoe, judging on how many stories i wrote about them. and they just fit so well together and i adore their characters and they had so much chemistry and. (i'll stop now)

15.) What’s a WIP you’d like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

my brain will simply not allow me to leave a WIP uncompleted. by god, it's going to happen even if i am chaining myself to my laptop and typing through tears.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

i have received many compliments about my dialogue and smut scenes flowing very naturally :) i try to make them play like a movie and have it immersive enough that a character doesn't do/say something unnatural to make the reader stop and say wait what?

16.) What are your writing weaknesses?

oh god, PLOT and ANGST. can't do it for the life of me. i work best in oneshots so i can brain vomit and move on. i have a hard time planning out fics and i deeply envy writers that can create beautiful long fics in a timely fashion. i deeply lack the patience for something like that.

as for angst, yes i can technically do it, but it pains every cell in my body. just let the sad old gay men be happy.

17.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

closest i have ever gotten is mando'a, but it's been very fun to learn!

18.) First fandom you wrote for?

oh boy. one direction (the aforementioned orphaned works).

19.) Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

i am cursed with "i immediately hate everything i write as soon as i release it" syndrome. recently, though, i was particularly proud of safe. warm. mine. because it was very outside of my comfort zone due to the involvement of three people and it was the first a/b/o i have written!

no pressure tags for @veelawings @apricusapollo @shy-wookiee. these are all the mutuals that write (that i know of) and haven't already been tagged (i think)! but please, anyone who i missed or who sees this and wants to chime in and tag me, please do!!!

[payidaresque]

(un)happy anniversary to aziz being cancelled aka a year since i last felt truly excited about a piece of media. or anything at all for that matter.

ngl, i think that the show ended and part of my soul kinda died with it too. for some reason, not fully lnown to myself yet either, i can't look forward to any media and/or event anymore. not really. "curious" would be the correct word, and that's as far as i can get at this time, honestly. will i ever move on? no, probably not. am i being annoying? (for which i sincerely apologize — first and foremost — to my mutuals and the people i follow, because sometimes i can be.. a lot, and please know that you never, absolutely never should feel in any way oblgated to reblog anything i post. it's your blog, you own it, and you decide what other people should and should not see. and me posting so much is just a result of.... a very intense and profound love for the show, which i think, i personally didn't have enough time to express. please, remember that, and do not feel in anyway pressed — if i tagged you (and i always try to tag people according to their interests, or if i want to show that i was inpired by them) that is because i love seeing your tags in my activity feed very much!) yes, and i am very well aware of that but honestly? also don't care. kinda. anyway, enough of my pathetic rambling, lol. i made this post to let y'all know something very important —

and i know i said this numerous times before, but —

thank you.

thank you to everyone who watched the show, shared their thoughts, or expressed their interest in any way. and thank you to everyone who continues doing it now, a year later — know that i see you all, and i love you all 💜 and i will continue doing my thing (both on my main and over at @azizcentral) as long as there's a posibility that one more person will see this wonderful, deep, emotional, and magical story that's important to me on so many levels i can't even begin to tell you about. And i thank the cast, the crew, each and everyone who worked on the show to bring it to life. I am now and i will look forward to seeing what you do in the future, and i wish nothing but the best for all of you! And i know they won't see it, but i don't really care. THANK YOU for the gift you gave us. And i call it a gift because that's what it is to me — i met wonderful people thanks to the show, i build my own little community, and we're having fun, and i'll keep and cherish every minute of it. I may be mad that much of the show's potential was wasted due to some questionable choices certain people made (ahem looking at you angrily eda t*zcan and sh*wtv executives), i'm very grateful that i can return to the show anytime i want and experience emotions which, i'll be honest, none of the other shows (or media in general) gave me since.

and of course, this journey wouldn't be the same if it wasn't for my peeps @burningblake @rosehathawhey @thatsonehellofabird @theatricaldynamite — you rock and i'm so lucky to share it with you, you made it incredibly special ❤

and to all the people who started watching the show because of my edits, or consider watching it, and those who reblogged my aziz stuff even if it isn't your thing, and those who keep coming to the fandom – i am HONORED. When i started posting Aziz back in November '21, i couldn't even DREAM that it''ll become a thing for me to build a community around, or (can you imagine?) become my sort of a brand, not to mention that to think that people wil start watching it because of WHAT I DO. If we're honest, all i did was making gifs – YOU ALL made it work. made it A FANDOM. It's your reblogs, your messages, your tags. And i cannot thank you enough for that.

And to all my non-aziz followers — my sincerest apologies. believe me, i didn't mean to spam your dash like that, it's really out of my control, agdfgugfdu 🫠 this show rewired my brain chemistry forever and it cannot be undone. whatever the thing is you followed me for, and chose to stay despite my everyday madness — thank u so very much, and i hope you're enjoying it here ❤ As for me personally, i'm gonna continue sitting here quietly in my little corner and hope that someday, somehow, some way, the casts reunites, cause ngl. it will make me very, VERY happy. and bc a girl just gotta dream about somethin, ya know? (says the girl who literally spent an ENTIRE YEAR in denial and successfully continues being delusional still. well, we all have hobbies i guess 🤷🏻‍♀️)

As i said above, i'm not gonna stop. Because it brings me joy AND because well, show must go on (and also bc it's my only mission on this hellsite lmao), i am so very grateful for all your support (It is truly SO MUCH) and i am certain that we will do SO MANY wonderful things together ❤

peace ✌🏻✨

[wildflower-playground]

hi!!! i love ur blog and scrolling through the tags, especially the advice one when im having a bad day, so tysm for that ^^

if i could ask for advice myself, my partner currently just offered to be my cg and im not really sure how to have conversations like that with him T-T. like, what boundaries id need to set and stuff like that bc im not that open about regressing to others tbh. im not asking for an exact guide dw, but more like if u have any idea on what i should say to him. sorry for the ramble, u can probably tell im kinda nervous abt this ^~^"

hello there!! no need to be sorry or nervous, i love getting questions! and i’m so glad my blog has been helpful to you :]

i think what you say to your partner depends on what you want! maybe think a bit about whether you want a caregiver, or are you more comfortable regressing alone? you don’t ever have to agree to let someone be your caregiver just because you’re partners! it’s your regression, so you should be able to regress however is most helpful to you. :]

and of course i’m assuming here that he’s already aware of what regression is (and what it isn’t — ie, anything sxual) but if he’s not that’s another important thing to go over together!!

if you decide you’re open to having him as your caregiver, i would say some important things to talk about would be, firstly, what you both see the relationship looking like! does that mean he’ll be actively playing with you and helping feed you or dress you (or even changing diapers if you use them)? or would it mostly be checking in on you occasionally, making sure you’re safe on your own and feeling okay? in other words, how hands-on do you want him to be and what do you think you’d need help with — and maybe you don’t know yet, that’s okay! just keep talking about it and you can figure it out together as you go.

another important thing to talk about is boundaries and rules. do you think you’d benefit from a few rules, maybe about things like bedtime or tv or speaking kindly to others, or would that be triggering for you? and would your partner feel comfortable enforcing a rule? you don’t ever have to have rules or reprimands, it is truly not necessary if they’re hurting either of you in any way!!

and as for boundaries, just a few ideas to talk about are things like, what will you both do if he’s too tired or unwell to care for you, what you want to do if you regress in public, how to communicate your feelings or needs if you’re unable to speak, what nicknames you both do or don’t like, and how you’ll both handle things like tantrums, accidents, or trauma symptoms.

and also, of course, consider whether either of you have any triggers or other issues that might cause problems, and talk about it beforehand. i can’t stress the point enough that if there’s something either of you don’t feel comfortable with, even if it’s something “expected” in a caregiver and kiddo type of relationship, you can simply ditch that thing!! :]

anyway this got so super long, i’m sorry about that, but i hope it’s helpful!! i wish you the best of luck talking with your partner, and feel free to come back and let me know how it goes!

[itslikeababywithamustache]

Anyway yeah I made the lowkey side tag awhile ago to start talking about other fandom stuff but I think I might just turn that into the whole blog at this point bc I'm not really doing any big creator stuff for any fandoms I'm in rn, but I do want to rant about things but I never want to on my main for some reason?? Idk why it's just like a weird rule in my brain I didn't get a choice in making, but I also don't rant much over here because I'm like "well but like it's supposed to be lab rats..." and it felt weird to keep ranting about a bunch of other stuff when I wasn't also engaging in what the blog was supposed to be.

Not that I'm uninterested in the show anymore or anything, I'll still talk about it along with other things, just won't be my focus.

My mental health has just really kinda like. Idk I dunno if I'd classify it as "tanked" but definitely done something and I just don't have the motivation and energy to engage and create the way I used to. Which I miss, and really hope I can get back. But for now there are a few suspicions about some stuff and I'm just tired and I don't wanna be a definitive thing anymore and just want a space to ramble freely (where my brain will let me).

So yeah. This is Officially gonna stop being an Official Lab Rats Universe Blog now. I'm gonna change the description after this post but I'm not really gonna touch the rest of the blog. Might mess with the profile pic at some point but I like the URL. And I'm gonna leave the tag pages and all that so people can still find stuff. Plus I can't change or remove any of it on my phone anyway. Also also if I ever do make more stuff I've got things already set up to just add to for the archive. So. Yeah.

You're also still welcome to submit and ask stuff too, like, kinda obviously probably cause I'm gonna leave open, but idk I feel like I should throw that out there, I'm not like, hermitizing myself.

ALSO. Just bc I haven't been engaging... don't think I haven't seen y'all changing the Kaz/Chase ship name to that abomination of colors

I started them I am not afraid to end them.

[letstrywritingmaybe]

Why am I like this. I’m in the middle of commenting on a fic (latest updated one in the CoAi tag on ao3 by agammaray for the record) and this wrong number texts me again, they’ve been messaging me since this morning. And it’s not like a bunch of texts so it’s not that big of a deal cause I just ignore it. But then they’re like dude it’s me (insert name) I’m your friend and I’m like buddy, pal, idk who you are please stop. And because I get inspiration from like everything. I stopped mid comment to open my doc of fic ideas to write down basically a whole ass outline of a wrong number fic. Except it’s not at all like my situation, but it was inspired because of a text meant for another person. I don’t have time for another idea and the more I rambled in my notes the longer the idea became even though I was like oh this could be a quick one shot *sigh Okay back to finishing the comment! This is why it takes me a long time sometimes cause I get interrupted!

Update: I’ve not started writing that fic idea thank goodness, but I did add a little more to my winter solstice fic! We are floating at 3.5k right now and I think we may be almost done? I think it should probably be around 4k and I’m low key thinking this is set in the same verse as the midnights album fic, but it predates the stuff that’s happening there so there’s no need for anyone to read both to understand it. I was asked if the album fic would ever include Shinichi’s pov and I wasn’t planning on it honestly cause I kinda thought about making a separate album fic for him, but not really cause I need to stop (keeping with the Tay theme, it would be Lover because I just love the idea of it being flipped and we all know my bias of him being more in love with my queen) but the solstice fic would give us a glimpse of his thoughts since Midnights is Shiho centric (as is all of my fics tbh)

Also started working on chapter three of the sibling verse too. There’s a lot going on writing wise, I really need to finish some WIPs so I’m not jumping around all over the place. I’ll need to start the December prompts too once it’s the first… oh my…

Update 2: so we’re over 4k for the solstice fic now… and I think I have maybe one or two scenes left… it’s not gonna make it past 5k right? I don’t write long fics, and technically this wouldn’t even be long but it is to me since I generally float around 1 to maybe 2k. Alright I’m gonna switch gears and try and add to the sibling verse before I go to sleep

Update 3: it may very well make it past 5k, what is happening.

[duck-era-lexi]

my hc for the ages of the sdv marriage candidates

edited from the tags of this post

warning: essay

so we do have to keep in consideration the fact that time remains static and no one really changes, like the kids never grow even after 25 years of your farm. and i like to think that the years are actual years and i'm on year 4. so there's that. also the fact that i feel like you can't really get married your first year? (unless youre blade lmfao) cause you're busy with crops for so long. i personally got married (for the first time) in year 3 and i honestly had wanted to get married asap for the entire time i was playing but i just never had the resources to give loved gifts. but also i dated alex so my work was kinda cut out for me lol. but ALSO i was too busy to search for npcs when i had to mine and water and do all that kind of stuff that you do in your first couple years. but i digress.

anyways i'll stop rambling.

first off, i think that when you get your farm you are 21. 18 at first feels nice because it's a fresh start but the storyline is that you're working at a corporate job. plus, you can drink from day one so i feel like that should be factored in. i'm not talking about realism here with your ability to grow and plant crops, but i am heavily factoring what the sprites and portraits look like into my decisions.

let's start. so i started with harvey when i was thinking about this, but i think the easiest thing to start with is the main group of people that all seem to know each other. sdv isn't terribly realistic seeing that there is less people in this fully functioning town than in my old math class. but we know there are some friend groups.

so. i like to think that alex+haley, and seb+sam+abigail are all in the same GRADE level at school. they know each other and have connections and it's implied that haley and alex dated. now they could've definitely had an age gap but with haley's ego it feels more as if they are in the same grade. sebastian has a hella baby face but he feels like the oldest, in some way, alex and haley in various places and sam and abby are much younger. EDIT: i am realizing now that i should factor the birthdays into this because they're like the only thing we actually know--

okay so abigail's the oldest, in october, then seb in december, haley in april, alex and sam in july. i hc that you arrive in march, so when you arrive you are 21 and abby and seb are 21, the others are 20. we are not going to discuss how incredibly convienent it is that the only sort of clique of people there are exactly your age!! i don't think that the farmer is younger than them, because then it makes me kind of sad when i think about how little they have done in comparison to me making 5milly in a week yk

asldkfj i have so many more hcs to write but let's focus for now. let's talk siblings. maru i feel is a year younger than seb, so 20 when you arrive. she works as a nurse as a part time job. leah, in my opinion is 19. i know this is probably an original thought but she gives me major runaway teen vibes. i feel like she's been fixing up that place ever since she's 14. she also has a baby face.

emily i think is 3 years older than haley, and they are close like sisters but really only argue over emily's technical authority in the absence of their parents. so emily is 23 with her birthday in may.

i think harvey starts as being 28, which is questionable considering he's a licensed doctor but he also has a somewhat of a baby face. i know it sounds like i think that everyone has a baby face but i think abigail, elliott and emily look older than they actually are. elliott i think is 25, and i think this is the same for shane. i feel like shane's sister (?) would have been 31 if she lived, and that the two weren't that close but he still feels terribly guilty for being the one that survived. personally i dont know that much about shane so idk. lastly, i think penny is 24. she looks very young and also the fact that when she speaks, she has this sort of attitude that she thinks she's really smart and cool and a good person for being a teacher but actually she's kind of pretentious.

bonus: i think jas and vincent are 8 and 9 but that really doesn't matter that much.

so the ages they are in my game right now , based on birthday (it's spring year 4)

haley - 24 with her birthday in early april (just passed)

shane - 28 with his birthday in late april

emily - 26 with her birthday in late may

maru - 23 with her birthday in late june

alex - 24 with his birthday in early july

sam - 24 with his birthday in mid july

penny - 27 with her birthday in early sept

elliott - 28 with his birthday in early sept

abigail - 25 with her birthday in mid oct

seb - 25 with his birthday in late dec

harvey - 31 with his birthday in early jan

leah - 22 with her birthday in mid feb

TLDR notes - tried to keep everyone close together and within reasonable age that you could marry all of them without it being weird - farmer is 21 @ start, time passes in years like normal. i like to think her birthday is spring 0, so she'd be 25.

[saraminia]

Darling, come. Sit. *hands you a cup of your most favorite beverage* Fandoms are a bizarre place sometimes. Some are very welcoming, some make you feel like you have to "earn" a spot (most times this is not actually the case... but if it is you don't want to be included anyway). I'm not sure what fandom specifically you're questioning your worth in. But you are not useless. You are not annoying. In fact I find your floral and art posts to be exceptionally fascinating.

All that being said... to be perfectly honest I feel like most of us have had that same feeling at one point or another. I won't speak for everyone but I kinda felt like a little raccoon flitting around, watching all of these amazing creators, wondering if I would ever be on the same level. (side note: every creator started somewhere. I know that's cliché AF. But even the most talented have doubts and insecurities about their work.) Eventually I found my people and was adopted like a stray cat. What I've learned is some, like David Rose, have been burned and are incredibly hesitant about who is allowed in.

I'm rambling, but I wanted to let you know it's not you. I would encourage you to keep interacting, keep posting, keep doing your thing. Most importantly do it your way. Everyone brings their own flavor and take to the Fandom Soup. Don't be afraid to sprinkle yours in. Hopefully there was something useful in there somewhere. *hugs and a forehead kiss for you*

P.S. go for the ridiculous tags. they may not help people find your stuff but they can be an unexpected bonding source.

P.P.S leaving comments can be really damn hard at times. like someone just wrote this incredible thing? for no monetary gain whatsoever? for anyone to just... enjoy? and it's amazing and earth shattering and should be a published thing and i'm supposed to just leave a comment worthy of their eyes seeing it like I haven't been shaken to the core and wrung out? (alternately just reading fic is the most energy people can conjure at times, forget leaving comments) So don't be too hard on yourself there. Kudos/Comments/Likes/Reblogs are not the token you put in to be deemed a worthy fandom participant

Thank you anon! 💛💛💛

You said so many things that needed to hear. Thank you so much for taking the time to send me this lovely ask!

It makes me especially happy you appreciate my flower and art tags! I love scrolling through my art tag. It gives a very special kind of calm to go through the pics of the amazing art pieces I've reblogged.

And you're so right about commenting on fics! It's exactly that! How will I express the appreciation and admiration sufficiently.

Also, I should say, I don't mean to say that I haven't felt welcomed into the SC fandom. I've connected with wonderful people and everyone's been kind and sweet. Sometimes I just feel not worthy. But like you said, probably everyone gets those feelings sometimes. Not everyone is just ridiculous enough to make a post about it.😅

[diningpageantry]

Hey! As a straight person who is part of this fandom, I wanted to ask you, what traps do you think het people generally fall in when consuming media that includes queer people? I'm asking this as I would want to know what to be mindful of:)

hey hon!

let me start this out with this: it’s super important that your first step is that you are aware of your standing in the situation, and i’m glad that there’s a recognition and a respect for that. that’s actually the first step when consuming queer media as someone who isn’t queer; it’s the immediate recognition that it’s a group that you’re not immediately a part of.

the biggest trap is the concept of appreciation vs. fetishization/disregard for activism. educating yourself on LGBTQ+ rights isn’t something you have to be overbearingly a part of, but make sure you’re knowledgeable on basics.

SIDENOTE: if you have a good bit and want to educate yourself on statistics of queer youth, i’d recommend looking over the National School Climate Survey that GLSEN (the organization that I’m a part of) puts together. it’s eyeopening and puts a clear idea onto what issues queer youth specifically face.

ok, back to the subject at hand; i can think of a really clear example of a fandom where people break the appreciation vs disregard:

let’s look back at when marriage equality passed in the UK. of course, a big deal, as it was one of the countries that lead other nations, like the US, to follow in their decisions.

when the news broke, the johnlock (sherlock and john ship from the show BBC sherlock) fandom had a post blow up. it remarked on the occasion, saying something along the lines of “thank god the UK has marriage equality so now sherlock and john can get married!”

the issue: there’s actual, living people in the UK who can get married now. in that statement, there’s a clear disregard for actual queer lives in favor of fictional queer people.

of course, other examples are of yaoi culture in japan, where there’s an interesting episode of Gaycation (a VICELAND series that’s another one i recommend for self-education) that goes into the concept of straight women indulging in gay male pornographic content (whether through audio or reading) and stating that they like it because it’s taboo.

that culture carries on into westernized fandoms as well.

so, here’s a basic test within queer media if you’re straight to see if you’re consuming it properly:

a) are you consuming it only because it feels risque?

b) do you genuinely support LGBTQ+ identities outside of what you see within the media you’re consuming (i.e. actual queer lives)?

(bonus round) c) would you still ‘ship’ these characters if their gender identities were different (for example: if snowbaz was a straight couple or a lesbian couple), or do you only ‘ship’ them because they’re an MLM couple? (this one can be traded out for lesbian/WLW couples as well)

if you answer no to any of them, you might want to re-evaluate your involvement in such media.

like i said, you don’t have to be some activist extraordinaire, you just have to be self-aware.

oh, and this is like. a weird little quirk, but another thing i notice with straight people in queer media is when they produce fan content, sometimes they glorify and/or demonize everyday aspects to queer life. for example, overplaying self-hatred for being queer while not attributing it to societal pressure in the writing, so “i hate myself because i’m gay and i just hate gay” vs “i’m self conscious of my sexuality because other’s expectations of heteronormativity and layers of ingrained homophobia”. most queer i’ve interacted with have at least some form of self awareness, and there’s complexities to queer identity and self acceptance. if all is lost, ask a queer person who you know is comfortable with sharing. in all honesty, i’m probably too open with sharing about my identity and how i interact with it, but definitely do not just ask any old queer person what it’s like to be XYZ because chances are, most of them are tired of answering.

oh. and one last thing (just… just for safe keeping): if you write smut, make sure you know what’s going on. i once stumbled upon a smut where they used vodka for lube, and just… don’t. use your noggin.

[spenciegoob]

Dethroned (Requested)

A/N: I know the request said the relationship between Reader and Luke is platonic, but I kinda dropped subtle hints that Luke is slightly pining for Reader... oop.

Request: smutty post-prison Reid being jealous. Like him just being absolutely in love with reader, like he had been since she joined the BAU but was too nervous to say anything so settled for being mega close best friends. Then when he returns from prison he finds out that her and Luke have become close friends whilst he’s been gone (its simply platonic though) and he ends up snapping and just absolutely annihilating the reader over her desk in the office after everyone else has left

Pairing: Post Prison!Spencer x Fem!Reader

Category: Smut

Content Warning: jealous!spencer, exhibition, hair pulling, degradation/praise, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink

Masterlist

Word Count: 3.9K

______

It was a gradual realization on his part. Spencer was so overwhelmed with coming home, his mom and Cat to even really take notice in the shift of your attention from him to Luke Alvez.

It wasn’t like you completely ignored him since his return. You were Spencer’s best friend, the title he settled on all those years ago when you all but skipped into the BAU and into his life.

And it wasn’t like you didn’t have other male friends. Before his leave, Derek and you had gotten along pretty well right off the bat, and Spencer never thought about it twice. If anything, he was ecstatic that two people that were so important in his life were also important to each other.

But when Spencer was stuck behind physical bars that represented every feeling for you he’s tried to keep at bay, you found comfort in Luke. He couldn’t blame you for that either, especially when the first time you visited him all he could see was hurt in your eyes, and all he could do was stare back with the same expression.

The first time he noticed the shift was after everything had settled, and the groove of life, for the team at least, was back in motion. You all had decided to go out and grab a drink, and the second you agreed, Spencer was also on board. He would follow you just about anywhere if it meant the smile on your face when he said yes stayed forever.

Luke had whispered something in your ear, the music in the bar too loud for Spencer to catch what it was. It had to be hilarious by the way you threw your head back in laughter, Luke’s eyes immediately dropping to the newly exposed skin, before nudging his shoulder with yours. 

Spencer couldn't keep his eyes off the conversation in front of him. He should have when the grip on his glass was so hard it could’ve shattered. 

“You know, kid, if you talked to her, she’d know how you feel,” Rossi had told him that night.

“That’s exactly why I can’t,” Spencer thought in his head, but merely gave Rossi a whatever, and walked away to the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror that night, hoping the disgust he felt for how angry he got whenever he saw you with Luke was enough to make it disappear.

It never did.

Like right now, Spencer sat at his desk, a rubber band ball being suffocated in his hand as he watched you perch yourself on top of Luke’s desk. It was an innocent act on you part, but the way Luke leaned back in his chair, opening himself up to you, and allowed his eyes to flicker to your bare legs that were swinging back and forth softly was definitely not innocent... not in Spencer’s book anyway.

It came as no surprise to Spencer that Luke would at the very least find you attractive. You were, in every aspect. Spencer could stare at your for hours, and sometimes, he did.

He would look at the way your skirt hugged your curves in the best possible way, or he would stare at your neck when you leaned back to stretch out. He would watch the way you crossed and uncrossed your legs, a nervous habit you’ve always had. Spencer would think about how soft they probably were, like silk rubbing against each other.

But now Luke was also looking at you like that while you talked about what you were going to do this weekend. 

“If you’re not busy, you should totally come,” you told him, obviously excited with the idea of Luke tagging along to wherever you planned on going.

“Yeah, I think I can make that work,” he agreed, and when he did, you jumped up off his desk, enthusiasm practically dripping from you.

“Yes! It’ll be so much fun, I promise!” And then you did the one thing Spencer silently begged you would never. You kissed Luke on the cheek before scurrying back to your desk.

Of course you would kiss him on the cheek. To you, that was a seemingly innocent and friendly action, one that Spencer had been on the receiving end of for the past 10 years. 

But now, Luke stole his crown and was flaunting it in front of Spencer’s face like an older brother who just got an XBOX for Christmas. Okay, maybe Spencer was a tad on the dramatic side, but how could he not be when Luke all but physically railed you over his desk when his eyes unashamedly did?

There were many things Spencer could take and get back up like nothing had happened. He’s been shot, punched, kicked, framed for murder and hell, he even stabbed himself, but none of that compared to the deep rooted anger that blossomed in his chest like a flame to gasoline when the thought of Luke touching you swarmed his brain.

Enough was enough.

“Alright, you’ve all worked enough today. Please, go home and get some rest,” Emily’s voice traveled from outside her office door to the agents that still inhabited the bullpen like a second home. Most, including Emily in its rarity, gathered their stuff to finally call it a night.

“So, you’ll text me the information?” Luke asked you as he was putting his jacket on. You had yet to move from your slouched position over whatever paperwork you insisted on finishing before leaving. 

“Yeah, definitely!” You beamed up at him before returning back to your case file immediately. Luke walked away with a little more pep in his step than usual per Spencer’s analysis. 

“Hey, Spence. Do you think you can hang back a second and look over this for me?” You asked him, catching the attention of the stumbling genius as he tried to get back to his apartment as fast as possible and deal with his... issues with you and SSA Luke Alvez.

He was going to say no, really he tried, but when he looked up to your puppy dog eyes and slight pout, how could he? Spencer knew you were giving him that face on purpose, he had told you in the past that if you were to ever give him your best puppy dog eyes, he could never refuse.

Now it was coming back to bite him in the...

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Spencer made his way over to your desk that was piled high in paperwork more than anyone else’s.

“I took a bunch of work home, and I accidentally dropped all my files and they scattered every where. So now, all the paperwork is mixed up and Emily needs these by tonight. Basically I’m screwed, but I just wanted to make sure the arsonist in Kentu-”

“I’ll help you,” Spencer interrupted your rambling once he got a grip on himself after adjusting to being so close to you. The smell of your perfume wafted into Spencer’s nose and got him drunk faster than any alcohol could ever. 

“Oh no, Spence. Don’t worry I can handle this,” you immediately shut him down, but Spencer was not easy to convince, and once his mind is set to something, there’s no changing it.

“I want to, trust me.” Spencer had started to roll his desk chair over to you. You sat there momentarily stunned for two reasons:

1. He had dropped everything to help you.

2. He wasn’t affected by the close proximity of you two the same way you were, or at least knew how to hide it really well.

The buzzing of your phone on your desk pulled you from your trance as Spencer settled next to you and went to pull a new file from your overgrowing pile. 

You picked it up to find a text from Luke, opening your phone to a picture of Roxy enjoying the toy you got her last week.

Spencer turned to you to find you smiling and letting out a breathy laugh at your phone.

“What?” He asked, more sarcasm dripping from his tone than expected. If you noticed, you didn’t say anything.

“Just Luke and Roxy. I love that dog so much,” you said while putting your phone on silent and setting it face down. You didn’t look up at Spencer, but if you did you’d find him beet red with anger, and holding the armrests of his chair a little tighter than necessary. 

“Hm,” was all he mumbled in response. This, you didn’t ignore.

“Is something wrong? You really don't have to do this with me,” you fumbled over your words, worried that your clumsiness and disorganization was what was annoying Spencer.

“No no, it’s not this. I like paperwork, actually.” You finally looked over at Spencer to find him already staring at you. His gaze bore into you like a blade to the gut, his intensity something you had never been on the receiving end of. It would be a lie if you were to say it wasn’t making you nervous.

“Then what is it.” Your words were not meant to come out as a whisper, but with Spencer’s intimidation and the way it made your stomach flip, you were overwhelmed already.

“Nothing, just, uh,” his confident persona was gone just as quickly as it came. “You and Luke, huh?”

Now it makes sense. You couldn’t help the small smile that etched across your features at his unknowing admission. Spencer Reid was jealous, actually jealous.

“Yeah, he’s a great friend.” Your emphasis on the word friend did not go unnoticed by Spencer, but he couldn’t stop himself from letting the words crawling up his throat out.

“I’m sure he thinks the same about you. The profile in this case fi-”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Two can play at this game, and if it was going to end the way the two of you were unknowingly both hoping, you would have to succumb to the rules.

“Hm? Oh! So you’re oblivious to the way he looks at you?” Spencer spat back, jealous intimidation turning to full anger now.

“Jesus, Spencer. Of course I’m not oblivious, but that doesn’t mean I look at him like that.” At this point, you stood up from your chair, Spencer’s approach throwing you off and getting you more worked up than you cared to admit.

“Besides, I have eyes for someone else,” you mumbled quietly under your breath, but Spencer caught it. “I’m calling the night. I suggest you do the same.”

You picked up as many files you could, not wanting to reach over Spencer before turning around to make you descent home.

Before you could get far, though, Spencer grabbed your elbow and spun you back to crash into his hard chest. You gasped, not making eye contact and instead opting for staring at his lips.

“Who?” Spencer asked, also not looking up from your lips. Both of your minds swarmed with the desperation to feel each other’s against your own.

“You.” And that was all he needed to finally succumb to his mind’s wishes. Your lips moved together like a violin bow to a string, creating a perfectly conducted symphony of files falling from your arms and deep inhales of each other.

Spencer reached out behind you, never taking his lips off yours and pushed anything that was on your desk with a deafening crash. Pens, papers and tape now littered the bullpen floor, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when all you could feel were Spencer’s hands gripping your waist as he hoisted you up to sit you on your now clear desk.

His lips finally detached from yours, the need for oxygen getting in the way of a kiss you wish could last for eternity. They didn’t go very far, Spencer attacking your neck with little nips, surely to leave incriminating bruises. Your hips started to involuntarily roll forward, searching for friction from his hardening member still constrained by his work slacks.

“Spencer, please,” you begged, needing to feel him, all of him at this moment. His lips abandoned your neck to slowly pull back and scan your body like a predator indulging in his final prey one last time before he answered.

“Please what, Princess,” Spencer whispered, his hands moving down to grip your thighs that were attempting to squeeze together at your new pet name.

“Please, fuck me,” you whimpered back. His deep chuckle resonated through you as he leaned closer until he was directly next to your ear, his hot breath fanning down your neck causing you to arch your back slightly.

“Right here on your desk like a little whore,” he whispered against you, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. Spencer shook his head slightly as he pulled back to grab your chin lightly with two fingers, forcing your head back.

He leaned in as close as possible to whisper against your lips one last time. “Only for you.”

Time stopped as hands sped up in a frenzy to rip each other’s clothes off, lips molding together like a lock and key never wanting to separate, and hips involuntarily grinding against each other in search for some friction in an overwhelming search for release.

Only when Spencer gave up on your shirt buttons and ripped the fabric apart, adding drums in the form of buttons hitting the desk and floor to the song you two collectively decided to dance to tonight, did he allow his lips to leave yours. Slowly, he nipped his way back down your neck, pushing you back softly until your body fully rolled down on the cool wood underneath you. 

Spencer’s eyes found yours again as his hands inched behind you, silently asking for permission to break down yet another barrier between your two bodies. After a pleading whimper from you, he unclasped your bra and slowly pulled it down your arms. 

Spencer maintained eye contact as he wrapped his mouth around your nipple, swirling his tongue around the peak before sinking his teeth in teasingly. Your back arched into him, a strangled whimper leaving your body as the heat between your thighs increased significantly.

“Spencer please hurry. I need you,” you whimpered softly, pulling his hair back from the top of his head in hopes of getting him in an area far more dire in need of attention. 

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” Spencer mumbles in between kisses inching back up your body. His hands make their way under your skirt as he continues. “I want to take my time with you, but given our circumstances,” he paused to take a look at the deserted bullpen. “I’ll give you what you want, and fuck you like a whore.”

There was no other way to explain the way Spencer ripped your panties off so hard the lace snapped under his force than animalistic. He wasted no time stuffing them into his back pocket, and fully separating from you to stand straight and unbuckle his belt. Spencer’s eyes stared down at you, taking in every part of your body to file away in his brain in case he ever needs it. His once honey brown orbs were now absorbed with black, his pupils full and his eyes displaying a kind of fire only lust can fuel.

Once his belt was fully off, he smirked and folded it in his hands. Staring at the new object of his desire, he tantalizingly shook it back and forth slowly, watching the way it bounced with his movements.

“Should I gag you with this so you don't alert the whole goddamn building of how desperate you are?” Spencer looked back at you to find your cheeks a deep shade of red, partially at his degrading tone, but mostly at the idea of being gagged.

“No, sir. I wanna feel you.” The title slipped past your lips with no control or hesitation. Your cheeks burned further as Spencer’s movements stopped, his eyes widening slightly. 

“Fuck it,” he whispered before throwing the belt on the floor and unzipping his pants with more speed than you've ever seen him move. 

Spencer gave you zero time to even register his size before he was stepping in between your legs, lining himself up and slamming into you to the hilt with one hand, the other grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling back hard, all while never taking his eyes off you.

You couldn’t stop the loud gasp leaving your body as Spencer groaned at the feeling of you around him.

“God, you’re so fucking tight, Princess,” he grounded out, the soft growl in his tone causing you to whimper and clench around him.

When he felt you start to squirm underneath him after adjusting to his size, Spencer started to move, setting a brutal pace immediately. Your entire body felt like it became engulfed in flames, the feeling of Spencer repeatedly hitting the sweetest spot inside you over and over with a force unmatched was too much to handle.

Tears started to well in your eyes as the soft whimpers and pleads left your lips. Spencer pulled himself from his position tucked neatly into your neck to stare down at you, never relenting on his pace.

“What’s wrong, Princess,” he teased, a smirk growing across his features at your tears. “Is it too much for your little cunt? What happened to the girl that begged to be fucked like a whore?”

Spencer let go of his grip on your hair to wipe the tears blackened with mascara that were running down your face. 

“So good, sir. Please don’t stop,” you mumbled, only half coherent. The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of Spencer filling you completely. His dark eyes flickered down from your face only for a second, but when he looked back up at you, excitement joined the lust in them, a swirl of emotions destined to destroy you in the end.

Spencer grabbed one of your hands that was gripping his shoulder, nails digging into the skin and leaving marks he wished would last forever. He placed in on your stomach, and confusion filled your mind for a moment until you felt the tip of his cock hit your hand.

“You feel that, Princess? You feel how deep I am? I’m gonna fill you up.” Your back arched, and you finally released a loud, wanton moan at his words. Spencer didn’t miss the way you clenched around him tighter at the thought. “God, I’m gonna fill you up with my cum, make you - fuck- carry my child. Make sure everyone knows who you belong to.”

You felt the knot in your stomach growing tighter with each word, and when Spencer lifted one of your legs into the crook of his elbow, hitting you impossibly deeper, you knew you weren't going to last much longer.

“Oh G-god, Spence. I- I’m gonna....”

“It’s okay, Princess. I’ve got you,” he groaned back, lifting two fingers to your lips before forcing them into your mouth. Instinctively, you hollowed out your cheeks and sucked on his digits. “Let go, Princess.”

All you needed was his permission before letting your orgasm rock through you, the muscles in your body seemingly losing and gaining all the tension in the world at once, your vision going white, and your mind blank except for one thought; Spencer.

Your loud moans were blocked by his fingers pushing deeper down your throat, catching them before any unwanted guests could hear. 

Your moans started to turn to whimpers around his fingers as the overstimulation kicked in. Spencer could sense it by the way you still clung to him as tightly as possible.

“Fuck that’s it. You’re doing so well, Princess, taking all of me,” he growled out, his hips losing their rhythm, signaling his own impending orgasm. Spencer leaned down further, pushing your leg farther up in the process, and again, hitting you deeper than imaginable.

Two more sloppy thrusts in that position, and Spencer was coming deep in you with your name and different praises being groaned in your ear. He bottomed out once more, coming to a stop buried deep, both of you trying your hardest to catch your breath.

When he started to pull out, you whimpered immediately at the feeling.

“I know, sweetheart. I’m almost done,” Spencer whispered, caressing your cheek as he fully unsheathed himself. The abandoned weight of him on top of you, and the loss of his cock filling you up left you cold as he went to rummage through your drawers for tissues, but all you could do was stare up at the lights hanging from the ceiling, your body still slightly twitching.

When Spencer returned to you, he sat you up and kissed your forehead before reaching in between your legs to clean you up. The second the tissue hit your sensitive cunt, you winced.

Spencer looked back up at you but before he could say anything, you cut him off.

“It’s okay. I’m okay,” you reassured him, smiling softly as you reached up to caress his cheek. Upon your approval, he went back to cleaning you up. “Actually, I’m more than okay. That was.. That was-”

“Yeah,” he said, chuckling slightly and shaking his head. “I know, right?”

“Maybe we should thank Luke,” you teased him. Immediately, his smile faded and he looked up at you with an expression that can only read “Seriously?”

You let out a full laugh now, obviously still entertained with the idea that the Dr. Spencer Reid was jealous of Luke Alvez.

“I’m joking,” you said, your smile turning from one of hilarity to adoration as Spencer straightened back up to stand between your legs and wrap his arms around your waist. “And Spence, it’s always been you. Not Luke, not anyone else. You.” You emphasized your point by jabbing a finger into his chest.

“Good, because that would make this really awkward,” he said back. You tilted your head in confusion to which he laughed at before continuing. “Do you want to go grab dinner?”

Your cheeks blushed profusely as he asked you out as if you didn’t just let him take you over your own desk at work. 

“I would love to say yes, but I still have to finis-” When you turned around to look at the pile of paperwork you had yet to complete, it was no longer on your desk, but scattered around it. During the rush of trying to feel each other completely, the two of you failed to notice the stack of files that started this whole thing had fallen all over the bullpen floor.

“Emily is going to kill me,” you said, turning back to Spencer who was still staring at the now empty spot on your desk.

“Actually, she has two reasons to kill us now.” You threw you head back in laughter, Spencer joining you at the thought of Emily finding out about the last 30 minutes. “But seriously, you go deal with the security footage, and I’ll deal with the paperwork.”

“Hmmmm...” You pretended to ponder the thought of not having to do all of that paperwork by yourself anymore. “Deal.”

“Deal,” Spencer repeated back, smiling softly before kissing you one more time.

__

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