#i shouldnt be crying like this at five in the morning

[ventingoutmyass]

8.20.22

My issues wont be fixed when I find a job. Yeah, the stress I've had for a year without being able to spend a dollar on myself and borrowing money to pay bills most months would be magnificent off my shoulders. Not worrying about money so intensely will do wonders, one day.

Getting a job is it's own stress that I cant comprehend a way around. Signing myself up for multiple anxiety attacks through the entire process, to know it probably wont work out anyway, isn't exactly an encouraging incentive.

There's so many issues that stay in my home. Yes, that includes my environment and the people around me. But that also includes whats in my bedroom when the doors closed. I can't feel safe. I'm not safe in my body, I'm not safe in my head. I can't remember the last time I felt like I could relax. It's been years. I've grown accustomed to the ways I cant sleep at night because everything in my head tries to eat me alive. Then I wake up and realize all over again, that everything that worries me at night is true. I can't seem to do anything the way others can. I cant talk to other people. I cant work. I cant express myself. I cant learn anything about who I am. I cant care for myself or others who need me.

Why do I get stuck with this. It's like, nobody gave me a hint at how fucking hard life would be until I finished high school. Everything was so easy, way too easy. I sat for a year because I couldnt understand the how's and why's of anything. All of a sudden there was so much weight on a transition that nobody prepared me for. Suddenly, everything was different. And it was all on me to take it up. It's been six years. I am not a step closer than I was then. It feels like a set-up. How am I supposed to do anything? How can anybody possibly believe I'm capable of any of this?

Health insurance, getting so many health issues checked, going to the dentist. Buying a car, maintaining a car, driving well. Finding a therapist, getting a diagnosis so I could get disability, stress about disability not being enough, lying to my therapist so I dont get institutionalized. Taking care of my dog, worry that hes aging, worry about how others treat him, make sure hes always safe so my sisters safe. Wash the dishes, sweep the floor but do it right, mop and vacuum, change your sheets, clean your room, clean your bathroom. Shower, brush my teeth, wash my face. Enjoy hobbies, dont enjoy those hobbies too much, wear makeup but always take it off, read your books, finish that manga before you forget it, write write write no matter how bad it is or how much you cry about it, dont forget about digital art that you're plagiarizing. Make friends, dont get too attached to those friends, dont let them realize you're unlikable, show then bits of your true self but just the right amount, text them first once in a while, say yes to plans no matter how badly you dont want to, guilt when you find the courage to say no. Whats your gender? Will you ever tell others? What if they dont believe you? What if they dont care? What if they constantly misgender you? What about hormones and surgeries? Will you have health insurance once those become accessible? And the cycle starts back over.

Theres no way that it'll get easier.

I'm not meant to be here. I never was. It's not fair.

[soupyspaghetti]

once again im being dramatic on here lmao

[rommahh]

{this show was off the walls. He looked so good. And the energy was just??}

You stood uncomfortably at your flights gate with Harry. After being with Harry for five shows, your anxiety had reached a peak leaving you to be faced with one of your worst panic attacks before the St. Louis show. Harry didn’t want you to feel so much mental pressure so he suggested that you go home, he even bought you a ticket without consulting with you.

Your shoulders were tense as you stood rigid next to Harry. You were beyond upset and sad. You felt like a burden who being sent away to make everyone else feel better.

“Love, it will be ok. I’ll see you in two weeks for the Nashville show.” Harry comments watching your face scrunch up withholding the tears. “I just want you to see your therapist for a few days.”

“I don’t wanna go. It was one panic attack. Ive done fine every other night and on the bus.” You huff not making eye contact with Harry. “You’re just sending me away.”

Harry feels his heart break in two. “That’s not-“

“We are now welcoming our first class passengers.” He was cut off by the attendant. You grab your duffle on the ground, opening your phone to the electronic ticket. You moved to get in the line but Harry was quick to grab your arm to stop you. You couldn’t stop the tears from welling in your eyes at the look of hurt on his face.

“You’re not even gonna say goodbye?” He whispers.

“Why should I? You said it for me when you purchased the ticket without even talking to me about it. I’ll call you when I land, I love you and goodbye.” You snatched your arm away, rushing to the slowly growing line of passengers.

Harry watched in defeat as you trudged onto the bridge that boarded onto the plane. You felt those traitorous tears push past the surface, your feet feeling like they were dragging behind you- wanting you to go back to your heart.

The entire flight home was painful. All hours spent on the flight looking lifelessly out of the window. Harry put you in first class but none of the comfortable perks could make you happy.

It was weird to walk back into your home with no one there walking in with you or even waiting for you. The house was dark and quiet and you felt scared to even be in the stupid beach side mansion all alone. Times like this made you regret moving in with Harry. This house only felt like home when he was there, any other time felt like your own personal solitary confinement.

Hey lovie, hope you’re flight went well. Having groceries delivered to the house for you. I love you and miss you. Xxx H.

You scoffed. That anger from before bubbling within you. He misses you? You left him on read, the pettiness easing the anger.

Harry’s eyebrows shot up at the small read notification under his sent message. He waited a few moments thinking maybe you just forgot to press send. Minutes turned to hours and hours turned into the next day.

You sat at the dining room table watching the waves eat up the sand and pull granules away at a time. Your laptop sat in front of you after you finished a telehealth therapy appointment. A ring sounded from the laptop signaling that someone was FaceTiming you.

Harry’s icon popped up in the corner of the screen. You hesitated before answering. You couldn’t bare to look at yourself in the camera knowing you looked a mess. Your eyes swollen from the sobbing during therapy. Harry thought you looked beautiful nonetheless.

“Good morning baby.” He broke the silence.

“Hi.” Was all you could muster. This wasn’t the two of you. You both would normally fill a space with sound and giggles and now it was just silence.

“How did you sleep?” He asks. He looked as disheveled as you. Hair messy, face red and puffy.

“Fine.” You didn’t look at him, playing with the frayed edges of your Live on Tour hoodie. Harry huffed in frustration.

“Is this how it will be from now on?” He snapped. Your head snapped up out of shock.

“You’re getting at me like somethings my fault!” You snapped back.

“Well, we didn’t leave on the right foot.”

“You sent me away!” You retaliate.

“No, I did not. You had a panic attack before I went on stage. I had to come on stage late because I was consoling you.”

You flinched at his comment and tone of voice.

“So it’s my fault? I can’t control the panic attacks. It wasn’t like I conjured one up for attention.” His lack of response broke you. “Really?”

“No, I don’t think you did it for attention but it’s a lot Y/N. I want to take you on tour with me but it’s a lot for me and you know it’s a lot for you.” He tries. His words hurt though. You’ve felt like a burden your entire life and to feel that way because of the love of your life hurts even more.

“Ok. Um, I have to go.” You choke out. Harry shakes his head, the weight of his words catching up with you.

“I didn’t mean it in that way. I love you and I only want to protect you.”

“Yeah, protect me by sending me away when things get tough. I’m sorry for being a burden Harry.” You hang up before he could get the last word in.

Harry sat on his hotel bed shocked. He doesn’t know how things escalated the way they did. He made her feel like a burden. His body racks with sobs as he thinks of how his love must be feeling.

The day of Harry’s Philly show you felt uneasy. You didn’t like not being with Harry. You got so used to your preshow rituals with him. It hurt to be left out after being so involved.

Harry felt the same way. His regret evident in the way that he couldn’t stop blowing up your phone with short apologies and messages. He woke up alone in the hotel room on the day of a show feeling like utter crap.

His stomach was in knots and his heart couldn’t stop pounding. Normally before a show you both would share a light meal and have small discussions about nothing. You both would take silly selfies together or watch tiktoks. But now it was just Harry.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, impulsively clicking your contact to face time.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up…” He mutters. He lets out a sigh of relief when your face reveals.

“Hi, Harry.” You murmur, your face squished into a pillow, his pillow because it smells good.

“Hi-hi baby.” He stutters fidgeting in his seat.

“What do you need?”

“I need you. You’re not a burden. I want you here, not there but here. I have a show in a few hours and all I can think about is how you’re not here with me.” He cries. You sit up in the bed, tearing up watching your boyfriend cry. His shoulders shook with the sobs that wracked through his chest.

“Harry, please breathe. Your gonna hurt yourself.” You try to calm him down but can tell it’s not working.

“Come back.” He whimpers.

“I-I think I’m going to stay home until Nashville. We both need a breather from each other and I know I need to see my psychiatrist and probably get some new anxiety medication. Which will take the two weeks to kick in you know?” You reason. Harry wiped his face of tears nodding understandingly.

“Ok. I miss you though. I fucked up horribly by making you feel less than. I know you’re not a burden and I’d do anything for you. The stress of tour is starting to weigh on me and I took it out in you when I shouldnt have. I also thought I was keeping you safe by sending you home, but I shouldn’t have done that. Because we are a team, I shouldn’t be making choices for you.”

“Thank you for apologizing. I understand why you did what you did. You were trying to protect me, I know. I love you Bubby.” Harry felt his world come back together at the nickname, a signal that you two would be alright. “You have a show in like three hours, you need to get ready. Eat some food, drink water please, and I’ll go and scroll through TikTok and send you all of my faves ok?”

“Ok. Thank you for being everything to me. I couldn’t do what I do today if I didn’t have you in my life.” Harry’s sincerity made your heart swell.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We will be alright. Now go!” You urged him to hang up the phone. He gave you one last smile before hanging up.

Watching Harry through some Instagram live wasn’t what you had planned for but it felt good to see him. He even wore the outfit you picked out with Harry lambert, the blue and pink paying homage to fine line. You’re heart gushes when he tells the crowd that he’s feeling really happy.

The next day you have another therapy appointment with your regular therapist, you even phone in Harry to join the call. You felt warm on the inside as your therapist reassured that you and Harry’s relationship was on the right path. She even said that you and Harry were meant to be together.

She didn’t have to tell Harry that for him to already know that information. I mean he had the ring sitting in his pocket to prove it.

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Strangers (Pt.3)

-------------------------

Virgil felt his throat close, almost deathly cold.

"R-Roman what do you-"

"And another thing, songbird, I dont want you calling me Roman anymore," Virgil thought he might cry, everything was so confusing and it had only been one day.

"What do you want me to call you then?. . ." Virgil asked, trying to keep his breathing steady, his eyes were clenched shut out of terror and fear.

"I think Romulus has a nice ring to it, dont you songbird?" Said Romulus, resting his head on Virgil's shoulder.

"Y-yes- its nice-" Virgil responded.

"Are you feeling well songbird? You look sick," said Romulus, turning Virgil's face.

Virgil opened his eyes, but when he had, he didnt see the vibrant green he was expecting.

No, he saw a deep, almost black, red color, and the same blood-red stains that had coated Roman's mouth just that morning, were staining the underside of Romulus' eyes. He bit his lip to keep from screaming.

"I'm fine Romulus- but uh-did you forget to take off your contacts and make-up before bed?" Virgil said quietly.

"Oh this? Just a new style songbird, no special affects required," said Romulus.

"I really dont think you should be sleeping with that necklace on though- it might choke you and quite frankly I dont want that," Virgil said, making a move to take off his own necklace.

"No," Virgil flinched at the harshness in Romulus' voice, and winced when he felt him grab his arm and pull it away from the necklace.

"Romulus!" Virgil's eyes went wide as he moved to push himself away.

"Songbird whats gotten into you? You're so jumpy today," Ronulus' face showed an expression of concern, but Virgil wasnt sure he bought it very much.

"You're not acting like- you! That's what's scaring me! You wake up bleeding from the mouth and coughing like you've got the plague and then deny going to the doctor, and then you hit me when I try to get these stupid necklaces off when you didnt start acting like this until we got them! And now your eye colors changing and you've got all this- stuff all over your face and you're acting like it's perfectly normal! And you're calling me songbird of all names when you've never once wanted to call me that!" The sentence escaped Virgil's throat in a series of harsh breathes.

"Oh. . ." Romulus' expression shifted to one of hurt and concern now.

"I'm sorry baby I- didn't think it would bother you so much," he said.

"But we should keep the necklaces on, who knows what would happen if we lost one or both, and if we dont know what's wrong with them than we certainly shouldnt risk something else happening, and you seem perfectly fine, so I doubt it's something serious," said Romulus, running his fingers through Virgil's hair.

"You have a point. . ." Virgil said quietly, looking off to the side for a few moments.

"Do you want me to stop calling you songbird, though? I will if it makes you unhappy," Romulus said, taking one of Virgil's hands in his and using his thumb to trace along his knuckles.

"Songbird is fine, it just- caught me off guard- that's all. . ." Virgil murmured.

"Alright, goodnight little songbird," said Romulus, pressing a kiss to Virgil's forehead and pulling him close.

"Good night Princey," Virgil whispered, before finally falling asleep.

His dreams were odd that night, dreams of blood and axes and chanting and a sweet smile that had turned into the maw of something sharp and horrifying, of wedding bells that seemed to shift into a funeral procession.

Virgil awoke the next morning, cold and sweaty, tears running down his face. He turned to the lump next to him, shaking it and hoping against his own reality that the eyes that blinked up at him would be a beautiful jade color.

But instead, he was once again met with charcoal.

"What is it songbird? You seem frightened," Romulus sat up in bed and pulled Virgil closer to him, resting Virgil's head in his lap and resuming the previous nights activity of messing with his hair.

"B-bad dream- thought- something happened-" Virgil said between sniffles.

"Oh my poor little songbird,dont worry, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere," said Romulus, now pulling Virgil up to his chest, Virgil buried his face in the soft fabric of Romulus' pajamas.

"What about work?" Virgil said, smirking.

"Oh? Getting cheeky now are we?" Romulus said with a laugh. Virgil smiled, maybe it really had just been a dream, maybe he was just scared of something changing when there was nothing to be scared about.

"But seriously, do you want to go to work today? Are you sure you dont still feel sick?" Virgil said, moving away from Romulus' chest and looking up at him.

"I think I can go in today, the extra cash doesnt hurt now does it?" Romulus said, tracing along Virgil's jawline and smiling.

"Extra money never hurts anyone but the people being exploited for it," Virgil responded.

"Theres my little anarchist songbird, been listening to Janus again have you?" Romulus said.

"Of course I have, hes the only one who can make AP Government interesting," Virgil replied.

"Well I've got to start getting ready then ok songbird? You stay here while I get started on breakfast," said Romulus.

"Ok," Virgil lay back down and reached to grab his phone off the bedside table.

Sixteen missed calls from Patton

Twenty missed calls from Janus

Ten missed calls from Remus

One hundred and forty six missed messages from Janus and five others

Virgil stared at the notification screen for a long while, before noticing the 'Silent' symbol at the top corner.

He only felt more guilty as he began to read, hundreds of concerned voices and texts, all asking if he'd made it home alright.

He decided to call Janus and Patton first.

"Virgil! We've been worried sick! Why havent you been answering? Did something happen? Is everything alright?" Patton's voice chimed over the phone, frenzied and terrified.

"I'm fine Pat- just had my phone on silent on accident for some reason, Romulus is back to normal, it was just an off day," Virgil said.

The line went quiet.

"Virgil. . . Who's Romulus?. . ." Janus replied, from further away it seemed.

"Roman changed his name," Virgil said nonchalantly.

"Oh- well- tell him we're happy for him," Patton said awkwardly.

"Will do," Virgil said.

And then he hung up, and it all seemed to feel rather strange.

And this only continued after this other calls. He wouldve thought Romulus would have told his own brother about his name change before he told Virgil, but that didnt seem to be the case.

"Princey?" Virgil slipped out of bed and into the kitchen.

"Songbird? What are you doing up? Breakfast's not ready yet," Romulus said.

"I just got off the phone with the gang- my phone was on silent last night and they were all really worried, but I wanted to ask you something-" Virgil said nervously.

"Yes, songbird?" Romulus replied.

"How come you told me you changed your name, but not Remus, hes your brother, wouldnt he be more important?" Virgil said.

"Well I prefer to think you're the most important thing in my life songbird," Romulus said with a smile.

"Dear gods you're so cheesy," Virgil said, rolling his eyes.

"I know songbird," Romulus replied.

"Can you try this for me?" Romulus said, holding out a fork with a piece of waffle on it. Virgil walked over and took the bite, eyes widening as he did.

"Which brand is this?" Virgil said when he finished.

"Home-made," Romulus said, smiling.

"Careful or you're gonna end up having to do a lot more work for breakfast," Virgil said with a laugh.

"That's the idea songbird," said Romulus.

Soon enough Romulus was on his way to work, and Virgil was alone in the house again, but for some odd reason.

He felt less alone than he ever had before.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@that-peach-anon

@lazyboneslover

@baka-monarch

@thefivecalls

@willowaudreykeyes

@pricklyfish777

@the-sad-strawberry

@itsnithbabey

@private-snippers

@0exterc0

@rich-flower-17

@theonetruebeepboop

@mycatshuman

@teamplutoforlife

@melodiread

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@frawkeye

@cemmy

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

[littlebigafterdark]

I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?

the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)

This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!

oOo

context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder

so...

one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles

and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok

and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away

"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again

but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"

and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces

and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again

but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful

but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.

and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-

it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again

"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.

and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby

and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside

. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that

when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle

but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy

roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.

but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED

so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.

"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"

logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"

and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"

logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no

so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"

"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.

he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too

so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown

every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"

when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away

and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are

so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.

as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries

they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future

but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)

they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch

oOo

just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:

logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home

it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small

his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true

and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back

and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3

hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him

he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing

[space-kitten-606]

Part of me wants to just go ham wild and request AlL oF tHeM but i really shouldnt bc that is cruel and unusual. So, first and foremost, I demand the "daddy" prompt *cough* "slap me daddy" *cough* I am also curious how you would interpret "say it again" OwO! ♡♡♡

THIS IS A CHRISTIAN BLOG!!! A M E N 

i can’t believe you made me write this. I’m gonna go cry now omg

Sighing, Mc sprawled herself out on the couch. Looks like it was going to be one of those days. Boredom had been eating her up from the inside ever since this morning. A nice planned breakfast was foiled by her boyfriend unceremoniously grabbing his plate and announcing: “Gotta work.”, before he vanished into his office and didn’t come out since. 

The young woman had used that chance to get some chores done. But by afternoon the bunker was so clean, they could eat off the floor if they wanted to. Mc grimassed at the thought. Better not let Saeyoung know or he’d actually try. Even if just to annoy his brother. Speaking of which, he was out. So not even the more reserved twin was able to pay some attention to her. 

Outrageous.

And absolutely annoying.

Pretending she did not do so about ten minutes ago, she checked her phone, circling through the same five apps she’s kept going back to over and over and over again, just to see that nothing really changed. Social media let her down the most. No new posts, her feed looked like a wasteland and even the messenger was completely empty. Safe for some minor status changes here and there, but it was nothing worth paying a lot attention to. God, what would she give for anything to do.

Mc’s eyes fluttered open as she let out a long yawn. She must’ve fallen asleep. Fair enough, she thought to herself. Another yawn sneaked up on her from deep down. Stretching her tired limbs she reached for her phone.

9pm. Another day of her life just slept away. Or at least half a day. 

A quick search through the rooms of the bunker revealed that Saeyoung was still holed up in front of his workstation. The woman didn’t even bother to knock as she snuck into the dark office. There was barely any light inside, except for the bright computer screen and a very dim desk lamp. Good thing Mc remembered to restock on eye drops the other day. For a moment she was impressed by her own skills, since her boyfriend didn’t seem to have noticed her yet. Until she walked a bit closer, and the light from the screen revealed two cables going down from his ears and connected to his phone. Mc smiled to herself. Saeran must’ve “borrowed” his headset again. 

However, having him distracted gave her a golden opportunity. Mentally trying to silence her heart pounding in her chest, she walked up even closer. Coming to a stop right behind him, she softly put her hands on his shoulders, letting them slide down his upper body as she leaned over to rest her head besides his. Saeyoung jumped in his seat at the sudden contact, pulling out his earbuds, but immediately calming down when he recognized Mc’s perfume. 

“God, you scared me!”, he exclaimed. His chest was heaving from the shock. 

Trying to even his breathing, he leant back into his girlfriends embrace, basking in her presence and the feeling of her hands running over his torso. 

“Was there something you needed?”

“Oh...you know…”, she purred, her voice barely above a whisper, “It’s just that I’ve been starving for your attention all day, daddy…”

Underneath her fingertips, she could feel a shiver running through his body like a surge of electricity. 

“Wh- did you just? What did you say?” The blue light emitting from the screen revealed the red tint growing over his face and his neck. 

Grinning, Mc leaned even closer, tickling his sensitive skin with her breath. 

“Daddy.”

Within the blink of an eye he had turned around to her and build himself up in front of her. Gripping her jaw firmly, Saeyoung made her look up at him. 

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” A throaty murmur, accompanied by darkened eyes searching the young woman’s face. 

“Do you not like it?”

Hungry lips crashed onto hers as he pulled her closer to him, his hands roaming over her body. Clever fingers slipped underneath her shirt, hovering over her skin, caressing her. 

Mc let out a soft moan, as her boyfriends featherlight kisses and soft bites wandered from her mouth, to her neck and back up to the shell of her ear. 

“Say it again.”

[rosepetalmark]

Not in the Stars

2.5k words

Renjun x Reader

warnings: alcohol mention

in which you plan to confess your love for your best friend to him at a party, but the universe has other plans in store for the both of you. 

You like Renjun. A lot. 

That was one sentence in your five years of friendship with Huang Renjun that you never thought you’d say to yourself, let alone admit to. 

You don’t know where these feelings came from, but all you know is that they’re strong and on your mind twenty four seven. Everything he says and does captivates your mind, causing your feelings for him to grow even stronger.

It’s as if these feelings for him suddenly hit you like a brick one day. You were strictly best friends last week, and now you have these unexplainable deep feelings for him, eating you alive and begging for you to confess to him.

It’s not that you’re opposed to dating Renjun, it’s just that he’s been your best friend for several years and he means so incredibly much to you. You just don’t want to risk losing him or making things between you two weird if he doesn’t feel the same. 

So you suppress your feelings. As long as you have Renjun as your best friend, that’s all that matters, right?

Jaemin always makes you second guess yourself, explaining that the dynamic duo that you and Renjun are would be ten times more incredible if you were dating. Since you’re already best friends and know everything about each other, why not date? Only bigger and better things can come from it he always says.

Although Jaemin makes strong points, you’re still scared Renjun will turn you away, mainly because you’re ninety nine percent certain that he only views you as a friend, nothing more and nothing less. 

Yeah you have sleepovers  and spend hours late at night talking on the phone with one another, but that’s what best friends do. If Huang Renjun has any feelings for you, you’re sure someone would have said something by now. 

You get the typical stares from old people when you make your daily trek to school in the morning, him waiting outside your house for you at exactly seven forty two, smiling so bright the second you walk out your front door.  

You constantly get mistaken as his girlfriend whenever you go out together on the weekend, which always causes a deep pink blush to appear on Renjun’s cheeks. He’s always quick to brush it off though, making it clear to everyone around you that you’re strictly best friends, and that neither of you view each other in that way. 

Boy is he wrong.

Everything about Renjun makes your heart flutter, and that’s something that scares you.

For starters, he excels so well in school. For someone who spends eighty percent of his time doodling instead of taking notes, he aces every test and can recite every piece of information that’s been discussed in class with no problem.

He’s caring and funny, and so unapologetically himself. He takes you to art museums on your spare time, talks about the latest conspiracy that’s on his mind, and always insists you go for milkshakes every Sunday night.

And boy was he cute. The way he tilts his head all the way back and crinkles his eyes when he laughs makes your heart absolutely melt.

Huang Renjun makes you happy and positive and there’s nothing more in this world that you want than to hold his hand and kiss him in public, as well as call him your boyfriend so bad. 

It wasn’t until you were out late with him, hanging out on the roof at Jeno’s house, trying to escape the loudness that was coming from inside. Jeno was throwing a kickback to celebrate the beginning of summer, something he does ever year, in which there’s always too many people inside, and you and Renjun find yourself on the roof trying to seek solace in the stars. 

Renjun looked so ethereal in the moonlight. There was nothing more that you wanted to do than press your lips ever so gently against his, and hold his hand while staring up at the stars displayed so brightly above you both in the dark sky. 

“What are you thinking about bubs?” Renjun asked, referring to the nickname he gave you when he found out that’s the name you gave your favourite stuffed rabbit when you were a child. 

God the way his voice sounded in this moment made you weak. The tipsiness you both experienced earlier was wearing off, causing your lack of hydration to become present through your raspy voices. 

But you don’t care. You’re with Renjun, and you are warm and comfortable and in love. 

In love. 

You’re in love with Huang Renjun and you can’t keep it in any longer.

Maybe this would be the best time to tell him. Every time you’re completely sober, you push the idea to the side, trying your best to forget your feelings for him even exist. What if Jun doesn’t feel the same? What if he does but months down the line you figure out you’re better off as friends, and then when you try to get back into your non-romantic routine, everything feels off? You always worry that things will go wrong and Renjun will eventually stop being your friend.

Not tonight though. Renjun looks gorgeous in the moonlight and the little bit of alcohol that remains in your system is acting as your source of encouragement, convincing you to confess to him right now and hope for the best outcome possible. 

“Love,” you reply nonchalantly. 

“Love?” he questions, staring back to you, seemingly surprised with your response. 

“Yeah. Just wondering what the universe has in store for me, you know?” you ask, turning your body to face his direction, criss crossing your legs over one another. “The idea of love both intrigues me and freaks me out. It’s exciting anticipating what will come from it, but the fear of something going wrong down the line makes me not want to pursue it, you know?” you say, staring innocently into his eyes.

He cocks his head, an intrigued look falling on his face. He purses his lips, looking as if he’s going to say something, but remains silent. 

You both remain in silence for the next several minutes, which causes your thoughts to wander. What if Renjun has caught on? Maybe he’s thinking of ways to turn you down gently. Or he’s trying to express that he somehow knows you’re talking about him, and he’s trying to do so in a similar manner. 

But the silence is killing you, and you want nothing more than for Renjun to say something. Anything to get your thoughts to shut up, and your heart race to stop rapidly beating.

“I think you shouldn’t be scared of love,” he finally says. 

Taking a deep breath, he looks off into the sky, admiring the many stars laying millions of miles away from you both. “I get that you never know what may come out of it, but I think it’s worth a shot to know you tried, and to experience something you’re not fully sure is going to work,”  he speaks softly.

“Take a look at the universe for example. It’s so big and undiscovered, yet millions of people are fascinated by it. We’re obsessed with the stars and galaxies and the possibility of aliens- which I know for a fact exist by the way, yet we’re not afraid to spend our time discovering them and giving them our attention. I think of love in a similar manner. Yeah the thought seems so broad and scary, as there’s so many things to experience and discover, but I think it’s worth it. You’re only going to learn new things about yourself and life, so why not give it a shot?”

He clears his throat, and pays his attention back to you. He has a look of determination in his eyes, and that only makes you grow even more anxious.

“Aren’t you a wise expert on love, Mr. Huang,” you chuckle.

“Well what can I say? I do a lot of thinking on my spare time when I’m not bickering with you,” he laughs, positioning himself on his arms so he can get a better view of the night sky.

“Hey!” you shout, pushing onto his arm, causing him to lose his newly comfortable position and to fall on his back. “What are you thinking about Ren? You have this sour look on your face.”

“Well your idea of love got me thinking,” he says softly, staring into your eyes.

Nervousness takes over your body. You have no idea what he’s going to say, and every second of silence is eating you up.

“And?” you say abruptly, eager to know what he’s about to say. 

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and I don’t know, I never thought much of it because I’m a wimp, but I think I’m going to ask Yeri out” he confesses, a small smile forming on his face. 

The mention of Yeri makes your heart sink. Yeri. He wants to ask out Yeri. Not you. 

Of course he likes Yeri. What isn’t there to like about her? She’s really pretty and polite, and they’re both the editors of the school newspaper, so they spend a great amount of time with each other. 

God this hurt. 

“Oh really,” you respond, with a less enthusiastic tone replacing your prior happy one.

“Yeah. We’ve been getting to know each other a lot more ever since we got asked to do this editorial on the basketball team, and I think I may have feelings for her”

“Well, um I think you should go for it Renjun, “ you reply, looking off into the stars to help keep what’s happening off your mind. If you look into his eyes, you’re certain you’ll start crying.

If it’s not you, you’re glad he has an interest in a girl with a golden heart and personality. 

“You think? What if she doesn’t like me?” he asks nervously, fiddling with the rings on his fingers.

“Like you said Ren, you never know what will come from love. Why not give it a shot if it’ll lead to potentially greater things not only within yourselves, but life in general? And if she ends up only seeing you as a friend, it’s okay. You’ll find someone one day who loves every part of you.”

And you can’t help but know deep down that that person is you. If Yeri rejects him, you’ll be right here to help him pick up the pieces, if not, you’ll still be here. As his best friend. Renjun deserves all the love and happiness the universe has to offer him, and despite being sad he shows no romantic interest in you, you’re glad he finds it in an amazing girl. 

“Alright cool, I guess I’ll ask her out on Monday when we meet up to discuss the paper then.” he says, smiling to himself. 

He looks so happy. Ecstatic even. You haven’t seen him smile this big since he won first place in your school’s art show.

“She’s here you know, at the party,” you say to him. “You should do it now.”

“You think?” he asks, eyes wide. 

Renjun was never one to act on impulse. He’s a man with a plan, and always has to do things by the book or else he’ll lose his hair. He likes structure and time, a complete flip from your bold and impulsive self. 

“Yeah, why not? You’re both here, you look really cute right now, and the stars are out in your favour, shining bright to provide you with the courage to do so.” 

This makes Renjun smile. You’ve always been a help in boosting his confidence, and you’re glad to be of assistance in such a nerve-wracking yet exciting period in his life. 

Standing up, he dusts the possible dirt off his legs. He crouches over, looking into your eyes and grabs your hand. “You’re the best y/n. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“As I with you,” you reply, a soft grin forming from your lips. “Now go downstairs and ask her out before she leaves.”

Standing back up, he begins walking to the door. “I’ll let you know how it goes!” he half shouts, pressing his hand to the door handle,  and making his way back into the house. 

You’re now left alone, on the rooftop, with just the stars and your thoughts. 

Why didn’t you bring up your feelings to him sooner, you thought. Now you’re only left sad and alone, because you were too scared to tell your best friend you’re in love with him. Confessing to him seemed so perfect in your mind a couple minutes ago, but sadly the universe has other plans in store for you. 

You decide to get comfortable and lie down, and begin to look at the constellations that are possibly present within the night sky. You can still hear the loud, most likely drunk people just a floor below you, and the vibration of the music hitting your body despite being away from the noise. But you don’t care. It’s just you and the sky, and you’re doing everything in your power to forget about the party below you, and to focus on the stars. 

As you point out the orion in the sky, you feel a buzz in your back pocket, indicating that you’ve got a text. Reaching for it, you unlock your phone, and see a notification stating that Renjun messaged you. Pressing on the messages app, you click on his name and read the following:

jun bug: she said yes!! we’re going out on tueday after we’re done editing :) (2:17 AM)

“Yes.” Yeri said yes. 

You’re happy for your best friend, but for yourself, you’re heartbroken. The possibility of dating him is now slim to none, especially since a potential girlfriend is in the mix, only making you more sad for yourself. 

You make sure to reply quick, and in a way that’ll make him happy, and hopefully provide you with the positivity that everything will be okay.

y/n: i’m so happy for you ren <3 (2:18 AM)

As you press send, you feel the tears start to slide down your cheeks. You’re happy for him, you really are, but you can’t help but wish that things went differently, and that you were in Yeri’s position. 

But as Renjun said before, love can be scary. It’s a learning experience, and if it doesn’t work out, you just need to take what you can from it, and hope for the best in the future. 

So you’ll take his words, and you’ll try your best to move on. 

It’ll be tough, but you hope to god that one day he’ll just be your best friend, and that this heartbreak won’t last with you forever. 

[the--blackdahlia]

You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like This (Dean x Reader)

Title: You Shouldn’t Kiss Me Like This

Summary: (Y/n) isn’t going to prom like every other girl.

Warnings:underage drinking mainly

AN: This is loosely based off @flamencodiva ‘s fic What Could Have Been. Please go check it out!

(Y/n) sat on the top of the worn down apartment building they were all staying at. The owner owed the elder hunter a few favors. Sam was down in the apartment, scribbling away at his home. John was out on a hunt. Dean was probably off with some girl five years his senior. And (Y/n) had stolen a bottle of cheap wine from a store down the street and was sitting up on that dirty roof, watching the high school just down the road where people in beautiful gowns and tuxes were hanging out.

“Screw you all.” (Y/n) mumbled to herself as she took a big sip of the wine. She didn’t realize that she had been crying, but she wiped at the tears on her face. Who wanted to go to the stupid prom anyway? Not her. She didn’t like this school anyway.

“(Y/n).” A voice said from the stairway. She didn’t even have to turn to know who it was. “What are you doing out here?”

“Nothing.” (Y/n) said, taking another swig of the wine. She shivered a little and felt a jacket being placed on her shoulders. Dean sat on the ledge by her, seeing where her gaze was falling to. “I thought you were out with Candy, or Tracy.”

“I didn’t even get out of my car.” Dean said. “Just didn’t feel right.” He took a glance over at her. “What are you doing up here?”

“Well, I wanted to drink without Sam getting ideas.” (Y/n) explained. “Watching all those morons in their prom dresses and crap.” She wiped at her eyes again and Dean’s heart broke a little. He had dropped out a couple school prior, but (Y/n) opted to stay. She had big dreams to get out of this life. She wanted to be a teacher or something. She wanted to help people in a non gun toting way. Dean looked back at the school one more time before he stood up.

“I’ll be right back.” Dean said. “Wait here.”

“Not going anywhere.” She sighed. Dean ran back inside.

“Sammy, where’s that little transistor radio of Uncle Bobby’s?” Dean asked.

“In my bag. Why?” Sam asked.

“It’s an emergency.” Dean said, rummaging through Sam’s bag and grabbing the radio before turning to run out.

“You better bring that back!” Sam yelled at Dean. He didn’t respond as he headed back towards the roof, stopping for a brief second to snag a fake flower from wreath on a door. He made his way back out to (Y/n), who was in the exact spot he had left her. He turned the radio to to the clearest station he could get in. A slow song started to play from the radio. Dean went to (Y/n) and pulled her to her feet.

“Dean? What are you doing?” She asked. Dean took her hands and placed them on his shoulders and he put his hands on her hips.

“Just be gentle with me.” Dean said with a wink.

“Dean…” (Y/n) said. Dean shook his head.

“You shouldn’t miss your prom night. Oh, wait!” Dean took the fake flower and laced the plastic and wire stem through a hole on the flannel shirt she had on under his jacket. He returned his hands to where they were supposed to go and he started to dance with her to Keith Whitley. As the songs changed from one to another, the local radio station seeming to take advantage of prom night, they slowly went from awkward dancers to closer. Soon, (Y/n) was pressed right up against Dean’s chest as they swayed to the music.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t go to a proper prom.” Dean whispered to (Y/n). “I’m sorry this is our life.”

“Dean…” (Y/n) said softly.

“I hope that someday you and Sammy can get out of here. Make lives for yourself somewhere better.” Dean told her. She looked up into those beautiful green eyes that seemed to glow in the dim light of the porchlight by the stairway.

“I’m perfectly happy here.” She told him softly before leaning up to press her lips against his. Dean closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tighter around her, deepening the kiss. Dean didn’t want it to be over. He had been pining over (Y/n) since they were at least 15, maybe sooner. But soon, it was over.

“I should get back inside.” (Y/n) said. “Thank you for everything Dean.” She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before heading back into the building, leaving Dean standing there.

“I think I’m in love.” Dean whispered to no one around. He took a deep breath, bracing himself, and headed inside. In the morning, they would pretend nothing had happened, that there hadn’t been sparks when they kissed, that they were just dumb teenagers relying on each other to get through life…

But sometimes life had other plans, it was just slow at showing itself to two stubborn headed hunters.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @we-ride-with-the-tide @dekahg @marvel-af @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @strab0 @sandlee44

Dean Winchester/Jensen Ackles Tags: @luciathewinchestergirl @bobasheebaby @sheris532 @bella-ca

Supernatural Tags: @bandobsession98 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @fangirlsencyclopaediaofweirdness @ilovetardis @missihart23 @cloudyskylines @supernaturalwincestsblog @flamencodiva @sams-serialkiller-fetish @theas-bedtime-stories

[justyouraveragefandoms]

Language!

A/N: I accidentally deleted the first half of the story... It took hours to write, and I am not gonna go back and re-write the exact same thing, instead I improvised, but now the story is a lot shorter... sorry. This is part two of my Captain America X ticklish sister!reader

Warnings: anxiety, swearing, tickles, FLUFF

“Y/N ROGERS.” You heard a very angry voice behind you. You froze. You were playing a game with Peter, and he won, and you called him a bitch...

“Shit...” you said it before you even thought.

“WHAT WAS THAT?”

“N-nothing S-Steve...”

You started having an anxiety attack, your breath started going really fast.

“ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME WHY THE HELL I JUST HEARD YOU SAY BITCH AND SHIT?!” Steve said very sternly, trying his hardest not to shout at you.

He started walking towards you with clenched fists, this is when your anxiety attack got really bad. You breathing was really fast, you tried to say something but you couldn’t make out words as a few tears slid down your cheeks and you backed into a corner.

Your brother noticed something was wrong.

“Y/N? Are you ok?” He asked.

You always had this sort of fear of getting in trouble, like getting caught doing something sort of trouble. Also, you loved your brother, but, if he wanted to, he could CRUSH you, that thought made your fear of getting in trouble so much worse. You would NEVER think you brother would EVER hurt you, on purpose... that is...

“D-don’t h-hurt me...” you whispered.

“Y/N... Why would I ever hurt you?...” he looked at you, you could see in his eyes how hurt he was, and you felt HORRIBLE. You looked down and started crying even harder.

“I A-AM SO S-S-SORRY STEVE! I-I’M A H-HORRIBLE SISTER... I-I SH-SHOULDNT HAVE SA-“ you were cut off by your brother lifting your head up and staring into your eyes with concern.

“Y/N Rogers. Never, EVER, say that ever again. You are an AMAZING sister, I am so sorry I scared you.” Steve hugged you, and you hugged onto him tightly whilst sobbing.

We sat there on the floor for about twenty minutes before anyone spoke again.

“Now...” Steve said, looking at you mischievously. “You gonna tell me when you started saying stuff like that?” You gulped and stayed silent.

Steve poked your side.

“Answer my question.” He said.

“A couple years ago...” You said it so quietly Steve couldn’t understand what you were saying.

“What was that?” Steve dragged his finger down your side making you squeal.

“A couple years ago...” You said again just as quiet.

“If you don’t speak up I’m going to tickle you until you answer every one of my questions.” He said, and you didn’t say anything.

His fingers dug into your armpits and you squealed loudly pulling your arms down on his hands, which did nothing to stop him.

“STEHEHEHEHEVE!!! STOHOHOHOP IHIHIHIT!!!” You begged loudly.

“It’ll stop when you tell me when you started using such language.” Steve told you.

“A COHOUPLE YEHEHEARS AHAHAHAGOOOO!!!!” You screamed at your brother.

“A couple YEARS ago?!” He looked angry for a moment, but he calmed himself pretty quick. “Oh now your gonna get it!” Your brother replied then taking out his phone giving you a minute to breathe.

“Whahat are you dohoing?” You asked weakly, still giggling.

“You’ll see soon enough~” Steve teased. “But for now...” Steve turned around and sat on you legs.

“Steve! No!” You said quickly in desperation.

“Steve yes~” Your brother teased before digging his fingers into your soles.

You screamed and thrashed around trying oh so desperately to get out of his grip and run away. But alas, even if you were his sister, you couldn’t get away from the grip of Captain America.

“I haven’t even got to your toes yet!” Steve said before dragging his fingers slowly closer to your toes.

Tears were starting to form in your eyes as Bucky walked into the room. Steve stopped for a minute to let you breathe before Bucky joined him.

“You said she did something? What did she do? Prank you again or something?” Bucky asked. Bucky is like a second brother to you, you think Steve considers him like a brother too, but you never asked him about it.

“I don’t think you’re even gonna believe what she did... Let’s just say that it involves... Language...” Bucky gasps and runs over to you and wastes no time digging into your armpits as much as is physically possible without hurting you.

You once again start screaming and thrashing around.

“What did you say?!” Bucky demanded while torturing your armpits.

You didn’t respond, you couldn’t, all you could do was scream and laugh. Bucky noticed this so he went to lightly drag his fingers on your side instead.

“Tell me what you said.” Bucky said sternly.

“I CAHAHAHAHALLED PEHEHEHEHETEHER A BIHIHIHIHITCH!” You screamed at him hoping he’d stop, and oh he stopped alright, he was dead frozen.

After almost an entire minute, without moving, he finally said something.

“You WHAT?! Y/N ROGERS WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CALL SOMEONE A BITCH?!” Bucky yelled at you. He then turned to Steve and whispered something in his ear.

Steve got up and walked out of the room, Bucky then sat on you.

“Well, Doll, you better NEVER say that again, am I clear?!” Bucky asked sternly.

“Yes... Bucky....” all your energy was gone.

Bucky decided to give you a minute before Steve came back. When Steve walked in Bucky covered your eyes.

“Wha?.....” You asked confused why your eyes were being covered.

“Sorry, Doll, but we have to make sure.” Bucky said before he went back to your armpits and you felt bristles make contact with your sole, making you scream.

After a minute or two Bucky lifted up your shirt and blew a raspberry on your stomach, which made everything so much worse as he blew raspberry after raspberry on your stomach for just over five minutes before Steve and Bucky let you go.

At this point your cheeks were stained with tears and Steve picked you up and put you in your bed.

“It’s late, get some sleep.” Steve said after sitting by you for a few minutes.

“Goodnight Steve, Bucky, love ya both...” and with that you drifted off to sleep.

“In the morning I’ll tell her she’s grounded for a month.” Steve said.

“Make that two.” Bucky said.

“Alright. Oh, and I forgot to mention... She said shit too...”

“SHE WHAT?!”

[writingmilo]

Death and Detectives

Some backstory for Rowan and Maya. This may help join a few dots. @goldenoceanarps, @honestlyitsjustkennaswriting, @thelunarmasquerade, @ashphoenix06, @samariah-keeper

Rowan had been baking when it happened. Their mum had been home for over two years and she was still nowhere near the mum Rowan remembered her as. However, as different as she was, she was still alive, and nothing more had happened. But on that morning, she had been paranoid, jumpy and stressed, scaring Maya. Rowan was baking with Maya to keep her calm and out of the way whilst dad dealt with mum. It wasn’t bad though, Rowan loved baking and enjoyed spending time with their sister, especially to teach them something they loved.

They were finishing up their third recipe when the static started. Rowan ignored it, for some reason static helped to calm mum’s frenzies when they were at their worst. Today though, the static from the radio seemed to make mum worse, so Rowan closed the kitchen door; Maya shouldn’t have to see her like this.

When the static started to get louder, Rowan just turned their music up and spoke loudly to cover the sound. When mum started crying out, Rowan encouraged Maya to ignore it, she was just having one of her episodes after all.

But when their dad cried a sound of anger and anguish, Rowan couldn’t ignore it. They told Maya to watch the bread in the oven, so it didn’t burn and left to see what was happening. Peering around the door, they saw a black being, glitching sporadically, and standing in front of their dad. They stepped further out of the kitchen, looking for their mum. Seeing her body lying at the being’s feet, the blood pooling on the carpet, they nearly threw up. Watching as their dad’s body crumpled on top of it, on top of her, made them scream. Hearing Maya leave the kitchen to see them and it and their bodies made them distraught. But seeing him just dissipate away with the bodies filled them with uncontainable rage. It couldn’t just come and kill their parents and leave without a trace. It couldn’t just erase them from their lives.

Their mum had only just come back, and now she was gone again, forever. And so was their dad. And their life might as well be gone with them, how could they carry on having see the dead bodies of their parents?

They felt Maya wrap her arms around them, but they couldn’t see her. All they could see was the image of their bodies lying crumpled below him. They heard Maya sobbing into their shoulder, but their dad’s scream drowned it out.

Maya jerked away, pulling them in turn back to reality to see two green haired men standing by the door.

“Who the fuck are you?! Get out!” they roared at the men, channelling all of their emotions towards them.

“Look, I understand you’re in distress, but please calm down,” the one with long hair started towards the children, whilst the one in a red hoodie looked around. “Where are your parents?”

The oven timer buzzed. “May, you go and get the bread out of the oven will you? Stay in the kitchen okay?” they planted a kiss on her forehead and gave her a quick hug before they sat down with the man. “Our parents are dead.”

“Your guardians then?” He looked around the impeccable room, peering into the hallway beyond.

“We don’t have any.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that you are old enough to be living alone with the girl!” He seemed to be getting frustrated as if he thought they were lying to him.

“Look dude, I’m not lying to you! They just died, like five minutes ago max.”

He stopped and called his colleague over. ��You can take this one Jackie.”

“Huh, why?” Jackie looked confused and his eyes flicked between long-hair and Rowan.

“They just died. Kids saw it.” Long-hair got up from the sofa and took over Jackie’s job of looking around the house.

“Shit,” he mumbled quietly to himself for a second, “I’m sorry kid. Did your sister see it?” Rowan nodded, suddenly not wanting to talk. “If you don’t mind, what exactly did you see?”

“I-I saw a thing, a big black thing, and I heard my mum scream, but she was dead when I left the kitchen—” “Wait, he saw you?”

“Yeah, me and Maya came out and saw it, and I think it saw us too.”

“Shit. Shit shit shit. Marvin,” Long-hair came over, “He saw the kids. Both of ‘em.”

“Fuck. We need to get you two out of here, now. He didn’t touch either of you did he? Didn’t do anything to either of you?” Rowan shook their head.

“Good. That’s something. I’ll go get your sister, we’re taking you to some place safe.”

“But what about our parents? What about our stuff?” Rowan was incredulous, this could not be happening.

Marvin had already gone through to the kitchen, so Jackie answered their question. “We can come back some other time for your stuff. As for your parents, there’s nothing we can do, I’m sorry. But we can talk in the car, right now the main thing is getting you two out of here.”

“O-okay.”

In the kitchen, Marvin approached Maya. “Kid, we need to go. Now.”

“What? Why? Where’s Rowan?” Maya was terrified, and she was confused. Listening to Rowan’s conversation with the men was supposed to help he understand, but it gave her more questions, none of which she could articulate.

“They are fine, and they will be coming with you. But right now, you can’t stay here.” He grabbed her arm to guide her out of the kitchen.

“GET OFF ME!!” she screamed and ran to the back of the kitchen.

“MAYA!” Rowan came rushing into the room, “What the hell did you do to her?” they pushed past Marvin and held Maya to their chest, murmuring to her.

“Nothing, I just— I grabbed her arm. I am sorry, it’s just—”

“No, don’t you dare try to excuse that, she’s twelve. You stay away from her!” they carried Maya out of the kitchen, making sure to keep between her and Marvin when they passed him.

In the living room, Jackie met with a worried look. Seeing Marvin shaking his head behind them, he didn’t question what had just happened. “You ready to go?”

“Do we have a choice?”

“Fair point, let’s go.”

[hedgewolf-hunters]

Short story

Gonna give a quick glimpse into the Hedgewolf Family past. Note that this takes place when Bane is about six, Drake and Scarlet are four, and Inferna was recently born.

The old town, greying and falling apart, except for Castle Blackstone, the ancient castle made of a special obsidian like stone with swirling galaxies within the stone. The main barracks which is going through a construction process, as shown by the large plastic tarp spliting a portion of the left most wing from the rest of a modern mansion. And the arena which seems to be in pristine condition, fresh red stones and all the torches around its outer and inner walls lit.

"Bane Wyvern Darkos! Get your tail back here with that ham!" A female voice calls out from the mansion/barrakcs. A five foot tall red dragon comes barreling out the front doors with a half cooked ham in its mouth. It opens its wings and leaps up onto one of the old roof's. Looking back its bright blue eyes sparkle at a group of amber and blue eyes. It smirks as it runs off deeper into town loosing tiles from the roof's.

Once it was a good distance from the house the dragon plopped the ham into its claws before sitting down and beginning to change into a two foot tall hedgewolf. The same red scales are now fur and quills. His horns have become two of his top quills with his devil horn like ears in front of them. Two quills going back normally and his two bottom quills behind his tan cheeks curving downward than back up at his face like rams horns. A small tuft of fur like hair standing up at his forehead. Fingerless gloves getting greasy from the meat and combat boots on his feet. His tail shrinks down from the long lizard tail to that of a wolf. His sky blue eyes shine as he lips his lips looking at the ham. His stomach growling rather loudly for someone of his size.

Bane finally sunk his teeth into the delicious looking ham and took a large chunk out from it. He chewed for a bit with a smile on his face than it went sour slowly as he spit the chunk back out. Instead of the redish pink of the ham in his hands it was now devoid of color and looked like grey matter. Bane growls glaring before he tosses the ham as hard as he can back the way he came.

"Whoa! Nice arm son, i see your weight training and practicing with Hyleia is getting better." A male hedgehog says stepping up next to Bane. His fur is a deep purple with serrated steel looking quills. He wears a black and red gi with a samuri sword at his hip and a pair of tabi on his feet. Bane glances up at the four and a half foot tall hedgehog than goes back to glaring across the abandoned city.

"Somethings the matter. What is it my young child?" The hedgehog asks. Bane huffs and pulls his face into his arms and knees up to his chest gesturing over to the pile of food he spat up. His father Strider looks at the pile confused for a second.

"What about the pile." Strider asks.

"I cant eat or taste anything these past two weeks. I try and it always comes back up, looking like that. Ive barely had anything filling now. Ive been sneaking Aunties protien bars for snacks but they dont do it anymore. I took the ham hoping to get something in my stomach but it just tastes like bile after the first few bites." Bane cries softly into his little enclosed space. His father hums softly to him and rubs his back between the two large spines. He sits there and lets Bane cry out his frustrations.

Half an hour later Bane is passed out sniffling in his sleep. Strider is petting his head as he rests in his fathers lap.

"Strider is he doing any better?" A cherry red four foot tall wolf asks coming up behind them. Her hair like fur is in a mohawk with a braid that reaches her lower back. Shes wearing a sleeveless leather jacket with biker gloves a grey pair of jeans and knee length boots.

"Yes Sky my dear, he hasn't cried this much since he nearly burnt down the house two years ago." Strider says to the wolf. Her sea blue eyes glance down to her eldest son and she kneels down next to her husband leaning against his shoulder. She takes over petting Bane's head as Strider wraps his arm around hers.

"We should call in Doctor Sylvain." Sky says.

"No Sky, you know how i feel about that man. Not to mention our own son has a distaste for him. Besides if worse comes to worse Aura should be able to figure out whats wrong with him after a few potions." Strider says.

"Strider i trust your sister and i dont like him either. But if Bane is sick or worse we need someone who can find out a little sooner than that." Sky says turning her attention to Stirder. He turns to her and his amber eyes glow as the black and white stripes on his quills do. Her own blue stripes under her eyes glow as well. He sighs and kisses her head.

"Fine we call him in the morning. But he does a routine check up and thats it." Strider says resting his head on hers. She smiles and pets his cheek.

"Good now lets get Bane back inside before he catches a cold out here." Sky says getting up. Strider hands the sleepy Bane to her so he can get up. But something odd happens when Bane touches his mothers arms. She has to kneel and hold him at arms length as she quickly runs out of breath and her own color started fading grey.

"That was a odd feeling." Sky panted out. She looks like she had just run several marathons and almost dehydrated. Strider picks up Bane and helps Sky lean on his shoulder.

"Maybe we should have the Doc check you out too. Its been five months since you blessed us with a fourth child but you shouldnt be this drained still." Strider says as they hop down two stories to the ground and walk back to the manor.

The next day Sky is preparing breakfast and seems to be at full strength again. She turns off the six stoves as she plates eggs, bacon, crescent rolls, and fruit slices (for the children). She puts her index and thumb inter her lips and makes a whistle loud enough for everyone to hear over the chaos of a noisey Saturday morning. A female dark purple hedgehog walks in wearing a sports top and shorts. Her quills tied into a pony tail that still reaches her thighs, with a similar stripe pattern Strider. Shes carrying a bottle feeding light pink hedgehog with three short quills snuggled into a bundle.

"Morning Aura, thanks for taking care of Inferna this morning." Sky says setting a plate down for her.

"No problem dear, after all what are sister in laws for." The hedgehog says. Sky smiles and pets her the light pink hedgehog head.

"Have you seen where my other three little pups disappeared too?" Sky asks. Aura shakes her head before both are clanching their teeth as a shreik fills the house. Shortly after a small maroon wolf looking boy with two small quills growing out the sides of his head in socks and fresh gloves runs through a wall laughing as he hides under the table.

"Oh no." Sky groans as a scalret wolf faced hedgehog comes barging into the room through the door.

"Momma! Drake hoked a luge into my hair!" The little girl exclaimed as she showed where the snot covered spit sat in her hair between her jer ears. The purple hedgehog does a spit take and chokes down her food in her mouth to catch her breath.

"Drake why would spit in your sisters hair?!" Sky exclaims as she grabs a napkin and trys cleaning it out her hair.

"Scarlet said she needed some gel to hold it back for practice today. So i thought to give her some." Drake giggles out from under the table. Scarlet glares at her twin under the table.

"Oh lady death give me strength. Drake we told you to stop these pranks so early in the morning. For that your Aunt Aura is training you today." Sky says. Drake rushes out the table and looks up at his mother with puppy eyes. Scarlet is now grinning.

"No Drake, you wont listen the first three times this will be your punishment. You ok with that Aura? Bane is basically doing strentgh and basics today anyway right?" Sky asks. Aura nods and sips some coffee from her cup.

"Yeah a few hundred laps to start should get the point across than some hand to hand for the rest of the day." Aura says.

"Morning ladies, Drake, i see your getting into trouble already. Well have fun with Auntie today. So is Bane up yet?" Strider asks taking a seat. Drake and Scarlet shake their heads making Sky and Strider turn to each other worried. Strider gets up and leaves a purple streak across the dining room running up to the second floor where the rooms are located and stops in front of the door marked with claw marks and Bane carved into a piece of steel. He forces the locked door open and looks down to find a greying Bane curled up on the floor with a small spatter of blood coughed up on the floor. Cursing under his breath he scoops up Bane in his arms and runs downstairs.

"Sky call the doc tell him im coming in now and i have no time to waste." Strider says showing their eldest to her. Sky drops her plate and runs to the kitchen as Strider kicks into high gear and tears through the house and out the front door leaving slight burn marks across the floor.

Five minutes later nearly forty kilometers away in the city Trinitad a fox with a half sliced ear hangs up his phone. His fur is a bright orange and he is fuller in a round sense. Wearing a green turtleneck sweater and a white lab coat rounded black dress shoes and white gloves. He walks out to the front office.

"Sheryl dear we have an old patient coming in. Mrs. Darkos said her son isnt doing well. Could you please seat them and let them know ill be right out." The male fox says. A white female fox turns to him and nods. Dressed in a knee length flowing skirt, a blue blouse and one inch heels. Her grey eyes look dull from lack of sleep while his emerald eyes are the bright and awake.

"Your a little late on that one." Strider says from the door. He walks in carrying the raggedly breathing Bane. Both of them bolt up to look over Bane in Strider's arms.

"When did this happen?" Sylvain asks. Strider walks over and places him on the bed.

"This morning, last night he was complaining about not being able to eat anything and feeling sick every morning." Strider says turning with a grimace towards the doctor who has a sly smirk on his face.

"Heh i knew this was bound to happen without treatment." Slyvain says with a smirk. Strider grits his teeth and grabs the hilt of his sword in one hand and the foxes fat throat in the other.

"Now ive let it slide for the last five years of what you have been doing to my son because it kept him with us. I was even willing to come back here for treatment because he is deathly ill and you would know whats happening to him. So tell me whats wrong with him and what you can do or else i will make your blood boil inside your veins and come from every pore on your body!" Strider exclaimed pinning the fox to a wall. He struggles for a few seconds trying to regain a little air from the deadly grip on his throat.

"Its chaos deficiency." He gasps out before strider drops him to the ground.

"Your son has a severe case of Chaos energy deficiency. I dont know why all i know is that he needed more energy than his body had so i injected him with Chaos energy rich supplements. When you pulled him from the visits a little year ago i knew sooner or later his body was going to run out of the energy he stored so far. This is the end stages of his energy hitting bottom." Sylvain gasps out catching his breath.

"Still doesnt explain while he has been spitting up grey food stuffs, or how you can help him." Strider growls out beginning to pull his katana from its sheath. While strider was handiling her husband and boss Sheryl decided to clean up bane a little, wiping the blood and what not from his mouth and fur. Leaning over him a necklace she has hidden under her top touches Bane. The necklace is made of gold and Chaos jewels, gemstones that have a very finite chaos energy charge stored within. As the jewels pass over him Bane gasps and coughs violently as the energy is sapped from the jewels and into Bane visibly by a green smoke trailing into him from the jewels placement. He regains his color and begins breathing normally as he remaims asleep now.

Both men turn as soon as Bane began coughing. Strider watches in hopeful interest while Sylvain watches in mock interest at the show.

"Sheryl how did you do that?" Strider asks her in a hushed tone not wanting to wake Bane at the moment. She backs up as the last wisps of energy leaves the stones.

"I didn't. I cleaned him up and his body just started collecting energy on its own." She says. Before anymore questions can be asked a female voice begins a zslow maniacal chuckle. Banes fur turns from red to black, his fur hardens into scales, his quills recede into his body leaving the two horn like quills to turn into actual horns. His body grows a foot and a half with his claws becoming sharper and his hair growing longer till it reaches the small of his back. He slowly sits up as his body changes from male to female with a small bust. A old looking white tunic appears to cover her as the body finishes its changes with the eyes, turning from sky blue to blood red. Her muzzle is slightly longer with teeth protruding slightly from the top down.

Once the change is done everyone takes a step back away from the now felmale dragon. She chuckles lightly smiling as she rotates her neck.

"Mmmm, that nap was good. Six years of being half and half really did help." The female says nreathing a sigh of relief as the pressure in her neck loosens. She bends down to touch her toes and then leans back getting several pops from her bones.

"Who are you and what have you done with my son!?" Strider exclaims holding his katana again ready to strike. She smirks and looks at him through one eye.

"Oh relax Strider, your son is perfectly fine. Hes currently taking his own nap inside of me as i was doing him." She says stretching her arms.

"What do you mean napping inside of you like you were him?" The doctor asks.

"You can keep your damned trap shut lard lad, the way you treated this boy was bad enough i might just retaliate for the family. Otherwise to answer your question, what did you think was gonna happen injecting the boy with repeated doses of my blood? You think it wasnt strange that the dragon blood you had only worked on him and none of the other children you tried using it on?" She asks with a sly smirk. Strider glares at the fat fox ready to take his head in a single stroke.

"Mind if i ask what your name is miss?" Sheryl asks. The dragon turns to her something of pity or regret for her flickers in the dragons eyes.

"My name is Drain. I was a cosmic dragon that died in my sleep so to speak and i can tell you more about the boys condition better than anyone else could." She says.

(Thats the end of this story. Whoof i didnt expect to keep going this long. But i know this isn't alot about the entire family, each short story will be about a family member in general as this one was about Bane mostly and one of his more dangerous abilities. To make this short its called a chaos siphon and it allows him to take store and redistribute chaos energy. He also can switch out with drain at a moments notice if his own energy levels are too low. He can only absorb through contact such as skin to skin/fur to fur or pulling energy from a jewel filled with energy. It also has a limit which triggers an overdose sending him into a hyperactive feral state or creating an armor and weapon set of the energy hes taken. Well i hope you all enjoyed it anyway.)

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Happy Ending (Jungkook x You ONESHOT)

A/N: This is a request from @veggiejimin Thank you for this wonderful idea, I hope I do justice to your amazing plot <3 I posted her request at the bottom of the story so that it wont spoil the ending. but for those who wants to read it first before reading the story, you can do that.

Also, I’m sorry but I think everyone knows by now that I'm a Jungkook slut, whore, will sell my soul to him and give up my first born for him, whatever you want to call it, so whenever you give me a choice to choose a member it will always be him. If that makes me a sinner, so be it. Hahaha.

And I have been dying to write a story based on this particular line, and I think this request fits what I have in mind:

"I never promised you a happy ending, you never said you wouldn't make me cry" - Autumn Goodbye by Britney Spears

MASTERLIST

"I we do this, if we really going to be together, I cant promise you a happy ending Jungkook,"

"And I cant promise that I wont ever make you cry," his answer make her smile. Being friends before developing any romantic feelings towards the other, the two of them are too honest with each other.

"So we are really doing this?" Jungkook smile at her question. A smile so bright she felt her heart might burst just from the look of it. He take a step forward and held both of her hands in his.

"Yes. We are doing this. I love you Y/N," he leaned in and she felt his lips against hers, soft, sweet and everything more than she could have ever imagined, marking the day as the day he becomes hers and her, his.

Y/N is heads over heeks in love with one particular Jeon Jungkook, and she hopes this is her happy ending.

"Happy birthday Y/N!" Y/N smile, as she covers her face to hide her red nose, the after effect from her non stop crying. Something she does every year for the past five years on her birthday. Jimin and Taehyung look at each other before looking back at the cake which is top with fully lit candles that they were holding.

"Were you crying?" Jimin asks, brows furrowed in concern. He already knows the answer but decides to ask anyway. Y/N hastily shakes her head, trying to lie like she always does and gave them a smile. Taehyung placed the cake on her side table and went to engulfed her in a tight hug.

"There is no need to lie to us Y/N. You can cry all you want tonight. We are staying the night," he kissed her forehead and flashed her his signature smile.

"Thankyou guys. Thankyou for doing this every year for me," Y/N's voice is almost unheard as it is muffled by the two boys who are now hugging her. "Lets forget about it and just eat some cake and watch a movie yeah?"

"Okay birthday girl. Whatever you want to do," Taehyung smiles as he take the cake to the kitchen and Jimin starts to pick a movie. Y/N stood and watch the boys, a smile gracing her lips. She loves Jungkook, she loves him very very much, but every year on her birthday, she has never been more grateful to have Taehyung and Jimin in her life.

/////

"You are back!" Jungkook immediately stood up from the couch and approach his hyungs who just walked in the door. He spent the whole night, and the better part of the morning restless and guilty, waiting for his hyungs to come back from his girlfriend's apartment.

"Yeah,"

"How..how is she?" Taehyung glared at him as he asks the question.

"What do you think?" Taehyung's voice is laced with sarcasm, making Jungkook hung his head low.

"She was crying even before we got there. And she spend the whole night crying too," Jimin answered the restless maknae. "How long are you going to do this to her Kookie?"

"Yeah, if this goes on any longer, you should just let her go," Taehyung interrupt. Jungkook's head snapped at his hyung's ridiculous suggestion.

"What?! No, never! I love Y/N,"

"You sure about that? With the way you treat her, maybe you should think again," Taehyung's said, voice full of venom as he marched off into his room. Jimin gave the maknae a small smile and pat his shoulder.

"You know Tae's like that because he really cares about both you and Y/N right?" Jungkook nodded weakly. "But you really need to figure things out soon Kookie," he reminds him before walking off.

Jungkook went back to the couch and slumped himself down. Him and Y/N has been together for 5 years now. Their relationship is wonderful. Y/N is the perfect girlfriend he could have ever asks for. But every year on her birthday, he will just shut himself out from the world. He felt bad. He should have spend it with her like any loving boyfriend should do. She deserves that. She deserves every happiness in the world.

But he cant... because that exact date is the day Nari left him for good.

He would like to think that he had moved on when he met Y/N five years ago. Her smile and her laugh gives makes the butterflies in his stomach goes crazy. He always miss her when she's not around, and he enjoys being with her. He really thought he had fully moved on, that he's happy now, no longer haunted by that dreadful tragedy, but every year when the annivesary of the day Nari walk out from his door came by, he snapped.

The memory of Nari with tears on her face as she said her final goodbye, how she said she will always love him, how she said she wish the circumstances are different so that they could be together haunts him. It just happens that the tragic days falls on Y/N's birthday.

He still remember their first year together. Y/N was so happy. She has always been obssesed with birthdays. Anyone's birthday. Jungkook remembers how happy she looks when she came to his dorm, bringing a piece of cake, just to celebrate her birthday with her boyfriend since they have a full day practice that day. And what did he do? He grabbed the cake from her hold and threw it on the floor, startling Y/N.

"Wh... why did you do that Kookie?"

"You are asking me?! Why the hell would you come here looking so happy for? Didnt I tell you not to disturb me today?!" He snarled. Y/N who is confused of what's happening starts to tear up.

"But... its..its my birth-"

"Please just get out. I will see you tomorrow okay?" He pushed her shoulders, shoving her towards the door and slammed it close.

Y/N spend her birthday crying the whole night that year, confused and hurt on why her boyfriend is acting that way. Jungkook went over to see her later the next day, explaning to her and apologizing for his extreme behaviour. He explains that that particular date brings a bad memory to him, something he doesnt want to remember and that the day triggers his ridiculous actions. He never meant to hurt her. He had expected Y/N to throw him out from her house and break up with him from his shitty explanation; his behavior is beyond unforgivable. But instead she smile and said she understand that he has his reason and never once pressured him to tell her in detail of what happened that would make him do the things he did. In fact, Y/N never talk about that date or her birthday with him ever again.

Its been five years since then, and every day since that day, Jimin and Taehyung will come to see her, in place of her boyfriend, making sure she's alright and not spending her birthday alone since her own boyfriend will shut himself out from the world without any explanation. Jungkook sighed. He can see the sadness in her eyes every year, he can see her longing to spend her special day with the one she loves, he can see that he is hurting her. He knows Y/N doesnt deserve such a shitty boyfriend like him, but Jungkook admits he is selfish. He is positive he loves her and he cant just let her go akrhough the memory of Nari still haunts him day and night. Jimin is right. He needs to figure things out. He just hopes Y/N will still be willing to wait for him while he tries.

Y/N never asks. She never question Jungkook. Not even once. She believed that Jungkook will open up to her when he's ready.

But its been 5 years. And Y/N finally wonders how much longer can her heart take it.

/////

"Hey..."

"Oh you are here," Y/N turned from the dishes and smile at Jungkook who just entered her apartment. He went over and give her a quick kiss, noticing how her eyes and nose are still a bit swollen. She must has spend more than a day crying. Jungkook tries to forget the thought and flashed her his biggest smile.

"Yeah. Practice was cancelled today, so I came. I wanted to see you. I miss you," he tugged her closer by her waist and stare at her beautiful face that he miss so much, making her blush. "Lets spend the whole day together today,"

Y/N nodded her agreement and that is exactly what they did. Spending the whole day watching movies, cuddling, exchanging kisses and eating a whole lot of takeout food that Jungkook is sure he needs to work extra hard tomorrow to burn it all off. The day went well until Y/N suddenly stiffened as she straighten herself from laying down on Jungkook's chest, making him confused.

"What's wrong baby?" Y/N avoided his gaze and fiddled with her hands that is on her lap, indicating that she's nervous about something.

"Kookie... we have been dating for five years now,"

"Yes. I know that," he laughs.

"And... can I ask you something?" She turns to look at him. Jungkook grab her hand to assure her that she can ask him anything.

"Of course you can baby. You dont have to be so nervous around me. Its me," he giggle as he traces unknown shapes in her palm, helping her to calm down. Y/N ease into his touch and takes a deep breath.

"I know I shouldnt ask... but its been five years... and I think this time i want to know," she paused. "Can you tell me what happened on that day that makes you hate that date so much?" The moment the question left her lips, Jungkook's face changed into anger and he immediately shrugged off her hands.

"You are right. You shouldnt ask," was his cold answer.

"But Jungkook, I just want to know-"

"No! You dont need to know anything!" He suddenly stood up, yelling, startling her. "We had a very nice day today. Why do you have to go and ruin everything by being a curious little bitch?!"

To say that Y/N was shocked by his words was an understatement. During their whole five years being together, never once Jungkook ever said those harsh words to her. Nor has he ever raised his voice to her. What happened on that day that could make him change 360 everytime she brought it up?

"You know what? If you cant just let it go, then I dont think I want to do this anymore," he starts to walk away, anger radiating off him. Y/N jumped to her feet and grab his arm before he could walk off.

"Jungkook, please. Dont go. I'm sorry,"

"I just need some time okay," he shakes his arm off fron her hold and walk to the door. He turns to look at her before exiting. "Just... just give me some space,"

Y/N colllapsed on the floor the moment Jungkook slammed the door close, the tears she tried so hard to conceal finally rolls down her cheeks. After quite some time crying her heart out she slowly crawled to the couch, picking up her phone with the last of her strength.

"Hello?"

"He..hello?"

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

"Tae... I think I'm ready to know what happened to Jungkook,"

/////

"What did he do this time?" Both Jimin and Taehyung peered into Y/N's swollen face that is sitting opposite of them in the quiet little cafe. She gave them a small tired smile.

"He didnt do anything,"

"Stop defending him. He dont deserve it," Taehyung protests as he rolled hia eyes at her answer. Typical Y/N. Always defending her undeserving boyfriend.

"Why do you love that asshole so much," Jimin sighed. "Tae is right. He really dont deserve you," Y/N laughs. Really, she is always so grateful for Jimin and Taehyung in her life. They were the only thing that could replace the hole Jungkook left inside her heart.

"Stop it guys. I know you love Kookie as much as I do," Y/N chuckles, making the two smile.

"Sadly, that is true," Jimin nodded before his face turned serious. "But Y/N... are you really ready to find out?"

Y/N fiddled with her hands again as her gaze shift between the two boys who is wearing identical serious expression. She exhale and nodded. "Yes. I think its time for me to finally know what's making Jungkook this way,"

Jimin and Taehyung look at each other before nodding, silently agreeing to her request.

"Jungkook... he hates that date so much because that's the day Nari left him," Taehyung 's soft voice pierced through Y/N's heart. She had thought about millions possibilities of what could have happened to Jungkook on that day, but a girl? They have been together for five years, how is this girl still have so much effect on him? Is he lying when he says he loves her?

"Na..Nari?"

Jimin looks at Taehyung with a worried expression, silently discussing if they should continue on with the story but Y/N reached out from across the table and hold their hands, assuring them to go on. It might hurt her, but she needs to know. She needs to make Jungkook happy again, whatever it takes.

"Nari is Jungkook's first love,"

"His true love," Taehyung added, earning a smack from Jimin who points at Y/N with his eyes, worried his friend's word might hurt her. Y/N chuckle at the two who is not at all subtle in their behaviour.

"Its fine Chim. Go on,"

"They met when they were young. Before he even debuted. Jungkook is head over heels in love, and so is she," Y/N focus herself on listening, ignoring the ache in her heart at knowing that Jungkook was once in love with someone else, most probably still is. "But you know us trainees are not allowed to have girlfriends right?" She nodded.

"They tried to hide their relationship at first, Jungkook spend what little money he have to visit and spend time with her whenever he can. But their relationship got found out eventually. Jungkook could have been kicked out but he has so much potential that the management decides they couldnt do that," Jimin stops, looking at his friend for the continuation.

"The management went behind his back to see Nari," Y/N gasps.

"That's horrible. How can they interfere with his personal life like that?" Y/N starts to sympathuze with them now. Jungkook might be the love of her life, but the thought of people trying to break him apart from this Nari girl breaks her.

"That is how valuable Jungkook is to the company. They dont want to lose him. Especially knowing that Jungkook is willing to give up on his dreams to become an idol just to be with her," Y/N dropped her gaze. Jungkook must love Nari so much if he is willing to do that much for her. For the five years they have been together, his career always comes first, and although Y/N understands that but sometimes it still hurts her feelings. But still, she never once said anything to Jungkook. Its something she always know that she will become second to when she agreed to marry him.

"So they told Nari that if she didnt leave him, then Jungkook would lose his chance to become an idol, which is his dream. And Nari, I guess loves him too much to do that to him. So she broke up with him and left him..."

"On the same date as your birthday," Jimin finishes the story.Y/N was silenced from the shocked. She would never have thought that Jungkook could love someone this much. He surely never showed this kind of love to her.

"But... you guys are allowed to date after a year of debuting. Why didnt he find her then? Or wait for her till then?"

"She went to study abroad during that time. Jungkook was devastated when she left and he had planned to wait for her return, but he met you instead," Jimin smile softly at her.

"Yeah. We thought you are the saving grace that would make him forget. He really does loves you, you know. But I dont understand why the date still triggers him. He shouldnt be like this. He already has you. Doesnt he know that he's hurting you?!" Taehyung snarled. He is always protective of Y/N. He cares for her like a little sister and he hates to see her crying because of his stupid maknae. Y/N smile at him and rub his hand, trying to sooth him down.

"I told you, its okay Tae," she lets out a little giggle. "And thankyou guys for telling me this. Now I understand him a little more. Its hard to lose someone you love," Jimin sighed at her respond.

"I just wish Kookie would take the time to understand you too. You are really too good for him Y/N," Y/N laughs and shakes her head.

"No I'm not. He deserves better than me," she whispered, which the boys didnt hear.

After the conversation she had with Taehyung and Jimin, Y/N already know what her next steps are. Her next steps to ensure Jungkook's happiness. She look at the name in her phone contacts, a number she gets from Taehyung behind Jimin's back after a long session of begging, pleading and bribing with endless ice creams and pizzas.

Song Nari

/////

"There is just one more thing I need to know. Do you still love him?" The pretty girls sitting in front of her smile shyly and nodded.

"I do. I love him so much I dont think I can ever love anybody else,"

"You promise to make Jungkook happy?"

The girl nodded her head as she smjle widely. "Of course I will. I will do anything for Kookie,"

"Then that is all I need to know," Alrhough the way she called him makes her heart tighten, Y/N smile back, although her smile this time lack sincerity and sparkles like it usually does.

/////

"Baby... are you still mad at me?" Jungkook held both of her hands tight in his, peering into her eyes, looking for a reaction. Y/N smile. Like she always does whenever they were fighting. Whenever Jungkook is being a shit to her.

"No I'm not. I was not even mad at you in the first place," she shakes her head. Its been almost two weeks since their fight and Y/N didnt contact him at all, respecting his wishes to give him some space, although she misses him so much. But at least the time apart from him gave her the space she needed to seek out Nari and finally clear out everything. She didnt mean to see Jungkook today. Taehyung invited her to their dorm saying everybody is out except for Yoongi who is not bothered to keep him company. Bored and alone, he seeks out Y/N to accompany him. She didnt think that the other boys, Jungkook of course included will be back so soon. The moment Jungkook saw his girlfriend in a questionable position while playing Twister with his hyung, he immediately dragged her into his room. To be honest, he miss her and he had wanted to reach out to her sooner but his schedule has been deadly this past weeks. So its a good thing that Taehyung invited her over. Well, a good thing minus the position he found them in, limbs tangling around each other on the Twister mat. Jungkook seeths at the memory.

That hyung really deserves some beating.

"Why are you always so nice to me baby? I dont deserve any of this," he whispered to her as he hug her tight and kiss the top of her head. Y/N return the hug, basking in the scent of him. She can feel the tears starts to prickle the corner of her eyes as she remembered what she's going to do in a moment.

"Dont say that Kookie. You know you deserve so much better than me," her voice muffled by his chest. Y/N breaks the hug and looks up to him, trying to burn every inch of his face in her memory. Jungkook was her first love, but sadly now she knows that she is not his. "Jungkook, you know I love you right?"

He smile and nodded. "And I love you too baby,"

Y/N tries to ignore the pain in her heart, now that she knows what he's saying is most probably a lie. He doesnt love her. He might think he does but its Nari that he loves.. "And you know I would do anything to make you happy right?"

"Why are asking me this? What's going on Y/N?" Jungkook's brow furrowed, confused and a little nervous at her sudden questions. She just smile at him although her heart is breaking when she remembers what she's about to do next.

"I think... I think we should break up,"

The silence following her statement felt like a thousand years before Jungkook finally say something.

"What are you talking about?"

"I think we should break up," she repeated herself. More sure this time. Jungkook ran his hand through his hair and turn to look at her.

"No. I wont allow that,"

"I dont think that's your choice Jungkook," Y/N's voice is soft, trying to hide her sadness.

"No!" He yelled, making her jumped. He walk towards her and grabbed her hands. "Why are you doing this? Is it because of our fight that day? Im sorry baby. I know I have been a shitty boyfriend but I swear I will try to change,"

"No Jungkook. Its nothing that you did," her heart breaks to hear Jungkook plead and beg. He is not the kind of man to lose his composure like that.

"Then what is it? Tell me and I will fix it. Dont do this Y/N. Lets just forget this hmm?" His grip on her become tighter as he stares into her eyes. The way he looks at her almost make her change her mind, to just be selfish and stay with him. But what's the point? Jungkook doesnt love her. If he does he wouldnt freak out every year like he did whenever that tragic date came around.

"Jungkook... I promise you that I will do anything in my power to make you happy. Do you remember that?"

"I do! Then why are you doing this? It doesnt make sense!"

"Because you are not truly happy with me. You are not in love with me," Jungkook can hear the crack and shaking in her voice. He can see this hurts her as much as it hurts him. So why is she doing this?

"Stop it Y/N. I love you. You are my girlfriend! I love and I want to be with you! Stop saying nonsense, of course I'm happy with you!"

"I wish those words were true... but I know its not," she smile sadly at him, eyes already glazed with unshed tears. "I know you love me Jungkook, but you dont love me as much as you love Nari. You wont ever love me as much as you love her," Jungkook was stunned the moment he heard Nari's name came out from her mouth. How on earth does she knows about her?

"Y/N, I-"

"Its okay. I already know everything there is to know about the two of you. And no, before you ask, I'm not angry at all Jungkook. In fact, I finally understand now why you pushed me away every year. Why my birth date ticks you off so much. Why we never eat at that restaurant downtown eventhough I like it so much, why you always turn off the radio when that one particular song came on. I already know everything Jungkook. And knowing why finally makes the pain I felt all this year seems better,"

Pain? How much did I hurt her by pushing her away because of Nari? Jungkook thought to himself. He was hellbent on making her stay. There is no way in hell he would ever let her go. He loves Y/N. But when Nari's name came up, everything goes out the window. All the memories and his feelings came back to him. Jungkook is just speechless.

"Y/N, you dont have to do this. I-"

"No. Stop. Listen," she raised a hand, stopping him. "I know why you two broke up. And I also know how much you suffered from losing her. How much you love her and miss her. She was your first love Jungkook. You never did get over her. You are willing to give up your dreams for that girl," she chuckles but it just sounded force to his ears. He tried to respond but nothing came out. Everything Y/N is saying is true. He never did get over Nari. He realized that now. The pain he felt on the day she left still feels fresh and he relives it again and again every year on that very day.

"And... I also know that she still loves you and would do anything to be with you again," Jungkook immediately looks up at that, a trace of hope and a glimmer of sparkle shows in his eyes, causing Y/N's heart to shatter a little bit more, but still, she continues to smile, blinking back the tears. For Jungkook's happiness, she knows this is the right thing to do. She just have to. "Everything has change now. The system is different now. There is nothing stopping the two of you to be together,"

"Wh... what are you talking about?" Jungkook was shocked by that statement. He would never in a million years expect Y/N to say that. He expected her to go hysteric, maybe gave him the cold shoulders for a few days or maybe cry her eyes out when she found out that he is still pining on Nari, but not this. "Y/N..." he looks into her eyes, no longer sparkle with laughter and happiness like she usually does. "How can I be with Nari? How can I do that to you?" You stepped closer to him, cupping his face in your hands.

"Jungkook... I know you. I can see it in your eyes how much you miss her. How much you still love her," Jungkook lowered his gaze, making her chuckle. "And the fact that you never deny even once that you still love Nari cemented that fact Jungkook," he kept quiet but his soft brown eyes are looking into hers now, his hand holding hers tight, which is still carressing his cheek.

"I'm sorry Y/N," his voice so small you almost missed it. "This was never my intention," You let out a small laugh and shakes your head.

"Dont be. You dont choose who your heart will fall in love with. And I know you will love whoever your heart chose with everything you habe Jungkook. You are just that kind of a person. It just happens that its not me,"

"Y/N..."

"Its okay," she hushed him again. She dont think she can bare it if Jungkook says another word. She can already see it in his reaction, in his eyes, how much he loves Nari. How excited he is to be with her again. "Its time for me to go now Jungkook. Nari is waiting for you," Jungkook takes a deep breath and kiss her palms before letting go. She walks towards the door but turns around when Jungkook calls out her name.

"How about you then Y/N? Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm not going to lie and say it doesnt hurt. It hurts. It hurts so much because I love you Jungkook. But it hurts me more knowing that you are happier with someone else and I'm the only reason that stops you from it. And that reason alone will help me to be okay. So I'm letting you go Jungkook," tears are racing down her cheeks as she said the words that hurts her the most to him.

She is letting go the only man she has ever love.

A part of her silently cried out, begging and pleading him to say that she is mistaken. For him to say and insist that Nari is his past and she is his future, proving her wrong. Proving to her that he is indeed very much in love with her, not Nari, but those words never came. Instead as she reached out for the door knob, he still didnt say the words she wanted to hear, making whatever left of Y/N's heart shattered completely.

"Thank you Y/N. For everything. I always thought you will be the one I will have a happy ending with," he chuckle softly.

"Dont you remember," she tries to cover up her shattered heart with a smile that just seems forced. "I never promise you a happy ending," She teased him, repeating the words the two of them said to each other years ago when he asks her to be his.

"And I never said that I wont make you cry..." he whispered, as she nodded with a smile between her tears.

"Be happy Jungkook. I will always love you,"

Jungkook flashed his bunny smile one last time before she turns around and walk out. Walking out from his life forever, leaving him to ran freely into the arms of the love of his life as her whole world crumbles down around her.

/////

Jungkook smile as he pulls Nari towards him, sticking his naked chest om her naked back, limbs tangling with one another under the sheets. Its been a week since his break up with Y/N and he went and see Nari on the same day. It turns out Nari, Taehyung and Jimin all knows what Y/N has already planned for him, asking the two boys to give him the details of Nari whereabouts once she left. Although his two hyungs dont really approve of what he is about to do, they still do what they were asked to, respecting Y/N last favor from them. He ran until he was out of breath to see Nari waiting for him, and without waiting for another second he capture his lips with hers.

Jungkook is finally happy.

At least he wants to believe he is.

"Good morning sweetheart,"

"Good morning Kookie," Nari leans in to kiss him.

"No kissing until after I brush my teeth!"

"Nope, sorry. Cant wait that long," he trapped her under his weight and kiss her senseless, grinning once they broke the kiss. "I love you Y/N. Forever and always,"

Jungkook shakes her head. Where did that thought come from? He is with Nari now. The love of his life. The girl he waited for, for so long. Why is he still thinking about Y/N? Nari's voice broke his thoughts.

"Lets go out for breakfast!" She grinned happily.

"I thought that I would make us some breakfast and we can cuddle in bed all day. I have a free day until after lunch today," Jungkook pouts, hoping Nari would understand. He wants to spend the day with her, getting to know her again.

"No way! I finally get back the man of my dreams," Jungkook beams at her statement. "The most sought after idol. I want to show him off to the world," Jungkook's face fell the moment she finish her sentence. Something about what she said doesnt sit right with him. Does Nari only wants him back because he is well known now?

"Urm okay then," he silently agree, wanting to pleased the girl of his dreams and he just doesnt want to dwell to much into it. As he tugs and adjust his mask while they were walking down the pathway his thoughts drifted back to Y/N again.

"Kookie, stop tugging on your mask! I already told you if you are not comfortable we should just stay in. You know I make a killer breakfast," she grins looking at her boyfriend who is trying hard to conceal his identity with his mask, shades and hoodie.

"No. We have been dating for years and I have never once taken you out for breakfast!" He pouts underneath the mask.

"You know I dont mind right? I already know what I'm getting into when I agreed to date you," Jungkook stops walking and turn to face her.

"But arent you upset? Dont you want people to know you have a boyfriend? Or who your boyfriend is?" She shakes her head.

"No. I dont need all that. If they know then they know. I dont need to tell the world about it. I'm already happy and lucky to have you loving me,"

"What did I do to deserve someone amazing like you? I love you Y/N. Forever and always," He took off his mask as he leaned in.

"Kookie your mas-"

"Shh. Just let me kiss my girlfriend,"

"Lets eat here!" Nari's shrill voice broke his thoughts as they stop in front of an expensive restaurant.

"For breakfast? Isnt this a little too much?" Jungkook wondered. He was imagining eggs and toast, at his favorite diner. Well, Y/N's favorite diner, maybe some additional pancakes and bacon if they are really hungry, not this... 5 star restaurant.

"Well, this restaurant suits your world star status! Take off your mask Kookie. No one will mobbed you here. They dont let common people in anyway," common people? What has gotten into his Nari? Since when does she categorized people like that?

"Afterall, cant you see how pretty I'm dressed right now?" She twirled around, showing him her expensive dress that she made Jungkook bought her on their very first date after they got together, before heading into the restaurant. Ah, no wonder she wore such a pretty dress so early in the morning. Jungkook had wondered about it too, when he saw her outfit and her overly applied makeup, but thought maybe she just likes dressing up. Y/N would just wear her sweatpants and put her hair in a messy bun when they went out for breakfast, and she still look damn beautiful too him.

God, stop thinking about her Jungkook!

"Kookie, can we go shopping after this?" Nari suddenly asks him in the middle of their extremely fancy breakfast. Not that he minded, he can afford to eat it everyday if that's what she wants but Jungkook prefer something more domestic and comfortable, just spending time with his girlfriend and not trying to figure out which fork is meant for which meal.

"Sure... but I have to go back after lunch. We have practice today,"

"Oh, can I come with?" Jungkook hesitates for a moment. Should he allow that? But looking at Nari with her pleading big eyes he has no other choice but to say yes.

"Of course you can sweetheart," he flashed her his signature smile, making Nari squeal.

"Yeay. Oh my god I have to tell ny friends. They would be so jealous to know that I'm hanging out with the Bangtan Boys later! Hey do you know if Taehyung is seeing anyone, because my friend..." The rest of the conversation melted in the background as Jungkook starts to drowned out her voice. He doesnt need to know how excited Nari's friends are or how hot they think his hyungs are. Is that the only thing that is important to her? Letting people know that she's with somebody famous?

Its only been a week, but Jungkook is starting to feel like he had made a big mistake.

Weeks turned into months and Nari is still the same. All she cares about is people seeing her with Jungkook, dining at expensive restaurants, shopping and following him to practice where she will take endless photos and live videos with his hyungs, making them extremely uncomfortable. Where was the Nari that he remembered from 5 years ago? That cares for him and love him for him and not his status as someone well known? The Nari that sacrifice her happiness for the sake of his dreams and career? Did he only built her up in his mind? Has Nari always been like this?

Those thoughts starts to cloud his mind as Nari make her way out from his dressing room for the live show. She has made it a habit to come with him backstage now. Of course she does. There are a lot of idols back here, something that seems to interest her more than her own boyfriend did. Jungkook sighed as a knock was heard from the now empty room, his hyungs has all left to go to the stage already and saw Seolmin, one of his idol sunbaemin from one of the most well known group.

"Hi hyung, what are you doing here?" Jungkook smiled at him. They have met each other countless times during performnaces before and has gotten closely acquainted, where Seolmin asks him to be casual with him.

"Hi Jungkook," he turned towards the hallway before turning back to the younger man. "Was that Nari? Song Nari?"

"Ermm yeah. You know her?" Jungkook looks confused. Weird. From what he knows Nari dont really mingle with idols and celebrities except for him. But the way Seolmin smirks gives him chills.

"Of course. She's my ex girlfriend," Jungkook was extremely shocked. Nari told him that she wasnt with anyone during the five years they were separated. He wouldnt mind, five years is a long time to be alone, but why is she lying? "Wait, dont tell me she's your girlfriend now?" Jungkook weakly nodded before Seolmin started laughing.

"Typical," he huffed.

"What do you mean hyung?"

"Dont get this the wrong way Kook. But Nari here has been known among us to latch onto the most upcoming idols. The most well known. She dated me, Junhyo, Minseol, Donghee..." the list goes on and on and on. An endless names that Jungkook recognized as extremely well known idols in the industry. "And now you. Well, probably because BTS is the latest hype right now,"

"That... that cant be true," Jungkook's voice came out as a whisper. Nari loves me right? We have history together. "We met even before I debuted, five years ago. We were together then?"

"And let me guess. She left you?" Jungkook nodded.

"Yeah... but that's because my management wouldnt let me date. She did it to make sure I achieved my dreams..." Jungkook weakly tried to explain, but to be honest, even he himself doesnt seem to believe what he's saying right now.

"That could be true Kook, and she might have changed and is sincerely in love with you right now, but you better find out the truth before you get hurt. You are a good kid, I dont want you to get hurt. You seems like you are really in love with her too," he ruffled Jungkook's hair before giving him a sad smile and turn around to exit the door. "And oh, five years ago was when we met and dated too. Before she cheated on me to latch onto another uprising idol,"

What Seolmin told him haunts him all day. Is Nari really like that? He tried not to believe it. His Nari is not like that. She loves him as much as he loves her. She sacrificed everything for him, didnt she? That is how much she loves him. But as he glanced towards the crowd and saw Nari talking to other random fans while pointing and waving at him, Jungkook starts to doubt. Is being with someone well known that important to her? Jungkook starts to think about their relationship for the past months. Their relationship consists of nothing but expensive dates, shopping trips, public announcements, videos with his hyungs. No intimate conversation, purely sex, no asking him how his day went or telling him about hers, no cuddling and talking all night long... Its true BTS is currently the most sought after group right now. Is that why Nari happily wanted him back when Y/N talked to her?

Y/N.

Jungkook sighed. He misses her. He thought about calling her a million times since the breakup. Just wanted to ask her to hangout and listen to her talk about her day, but he knows its not fair to her. He broke her heart, the least he can do is give her the space to get over him.

Get over him... to be honest, that idea left a bad taste in his mouth. Its selfish, he knows that but the thought that Y/N no longer loves him... it doesnt sit right with him.

His eyes flicked back toward Nari who is in the crowd. He's going to find out the truth. Today.

"Hey baby! You were great today. I told some of your fans that we are dating, and you should see how jealous they were of me!" Nari starts talking once she entered his room. Jungkook huffed and turns to her, eyeing her excited form up and down.

"What's wrong baby? Saw something you want?" She start to smirk as she walk forward to him seductively, mistaking the look Jungkook gave her as lust. Jungkook stops her at arm length, pushing her shoulders making her confused and startled.

"Jungkook?"

"You didnt break up with me because you care about me achieving my dreams, or my career didnt you?" Jungkook's voice is low and cold. He decides that he is going to give her the benefit of the doubt. He is going to give her the chance to say no.

"Wh..what?" Her voice starts to shake, eyes starts to look everywhere but into his.

"Five years ago. When we broke up when I was about to debut. Did you or did you not break up with me because you are cheating on me?" Jungkook knows he doesnt have a solid proof. If Nari denies this, then he will believe her, but the fear in her eyes and the shaking of her voice is starting to prove to him otherwise.

"I...I..." Nari cleared her throat to regain some strength. "What are you talking about?" She said confidently but its a little too late now. Jungkook smirked.

"I had a little talk with Seolmin hyung today," was all Jungkook need to say before her face contorted into pure horror at the mentioned of the name.

At her reaction, Jungkook's whole body is radiating with anger. How could she do this to him? He thinks about her every day for the past five years, but everything he thought he knew is a lie! She cheated. She actually cheated! She never really did love him did she?

"Kookie, I... I," she avoided his gaze as she failed to find the right words to say to ease his anger.

"You cheated on me.... You. Cheated. On. Me!" He yelled, making Nari jumped. "You left me because you wanted to go to someone else. Someone who is more successful than me. Someone you can gain more popularity, money and status, didnt you?" He ran his hand through his face and hair in frustration. "Me being an idol is just an excuse for you to break up with me! I love you Nari. I never stop loving you even when we were apart for five years," his voice shakes as he starts to feel the tears of anger and frustration coming out on the last sentence. "I wasted my time waiting for you. I wasted my feelings thinking about you. Pining over memories of us that is not even true! I hurt Y/N multiple times because of you!" He is screaming now, making Nari's whole body shakes in fear as he moved backwards to get away from him. "Y/N...God Y/N..." he raised his anger filled eyes to stare into hers, giving her chills right to the bones. "Did you know that never once have I celebrate her birthday with her because it falls on the same say you left me?! I shut myself out from the world every time when I remembered you. Remember what we could have been. That's how much I love you!" He swing his arms all around. "I never take her to her favorite restaurant because we had our first date there and turn off the radio when her favorite song came on because its too painful, because it reminds me of you!" Jungkook points one shaky finger towards her. "But you... you are just using me,"

Jungkook cant contained his anger any longer. The girl he worship all his life is nothing but a lie. She never love him. Not even a bit. "I... I broke up with Y/N because of you..." his shoulders shakes, trying to hold back his sadness as he remembers Y/N.

What have I done to us baby?

"Dont blame me if you are a shitty boyfriend to her. She was your girlfriend for five years. Its not my fault that she cant make you love her!" Nari tried to defend herself but badmouthing is an extremely wrong move as it only sets off Jungkook even more.

"Get out," he released a low growled.

"Kookie, please. We can start over. I-"

"Get out. There's no way in hell I would ever want to be with you again. I dont ever want to see your face or hear your name ever again. Get out now before I do something that both of us will regret," Nari blinks back in fear at his voice, and with tears starting to rolled down her cheeks she gathered her things and left the dorm, leaving an angry Jungkook alone with his thoughts in the middle of the room.

It took him a while before he comes to his senses and calm down. The moment Nari left the room he immediately fished out his phone and start replaying videos of him and Y/N that he never deleted. Their memories together is too precious for him to delete, even if he did end up with Nari. The videos helps to calm him down. Y/N's smile and laughter, her silly dance and corny jokes, he miss them all. All the selfless things she do to ensure his happiness. How he can always count on her to calm him down when he is stressed out from work, how he can always talk to her about his troubles. The passionate nights they spend together underneath her sheets. Jungkook closes his eyes. They had spend five years of good times together, why did he ever think the memory of Nari would be better suited for him? He should have fought for Y/N. He should have told her she's ridiculous. The he loves her and not Nari. He should have never neglected her, hurt her, just to chase the memory of Nari.

He quickly gets up and grab his jacket, with only one destination is mind when he came to a stop in front of Jimin's room as his two hyungs were having a deep conversation.

"Y/N called me two days ago before she left,"

Wait, Y/N? His Y/N? She left? Leave to where? Jungkook hides himself from his two hyungs, trying to hear more of the conversation.

"You didnt stop her Chim?"

"I tried Tae, but she has set up her mind. But something she said makes me feel so bad for her. I feel like killing Jungkook for hurting her like that. She has such a beautiful heart. She doesnt deserve to suffer because of that stupid boy," Jimin sighed. "If only she had chosen me to fall in love with... I would have taken care of her," Jungkook felt his heart clenched with both hurt and jealousy. He hates the fact that he hurt Y/N when all she ever do for the last five years they have been together is loving him and doing anything to make him happy. And he didnt know Jimin felt that way. That just... scares him. Y/N could not possibly fell in love with one of his hyungs right? She couldnt right? She loves him.

"What is it? What did she say?"

"I asks her if she's really okay. She let out a laugh that sounded so sad it broke my heart," Jimin trailed off. "She said she will be fine if it means Jungkook is happy now. She hates thinking that she cant make him happy like Nari does, but the look on his face when she said she's letting him go to Nari just broke her. She hates herself for feeling the way she did. For hoping that Jungkook would laugh off her suggestion and calls her carzy, for Jungkook to say Nari is his past and he doesnt love her anymore," Jimin raised his eyes to meet Taehyung's. "But those words never came. Instead you know what that stupid maknae did? He thanked her and smile. Absolutely looking forward to see Nari again. At during that exact moment is when Y/N said she decides to really let Jungkook go,"

Let him go? Please tell me you still love me Y/N. Jungkook clutched his chest The pain he is feeling is starting to be unbearable.

"She said now she understands why Jungkook is always cold with her eventhough they have been together for five years. She finally realized that Jungkook never did love her. No matter what she did, Jungkook's love is always for Nari,"

"Wow..." Taehyung sighed, eyes sad. Sad for Y/N's broken heart. "That's-"

"That's not true!" Jungkook suddenly burst into the room, interrupting the conversation, hair looking disheveled, as if he has been running his hands through it a million times, eyes glazed with unshed tears.

"Jungkook?"

"That's not true hyung. I love her. I love Y/N. She is the best thing that could have happened to me and I lost her because I realized it too late," he plopped down on the floor. Taehyung and Jimin looked at each other, not knowing what to do with the distress maknae on the floor. "I want her back hyung. Please tell me she will come back. I have lost her havent I?" He wailed making Taehyung chuckle.

"Were you earsdropping Kookie?" Jimin looks at him with disapproving eyes but Jungkook didnt care.

"You are seriously so stupid Kookie,"

"Yeah and stop crying. You look ugly when you cry. The tears doesnt fit your muscle," Jimin continue to tease the maknae. Jungkook looks up to his two laughing hyung, confused as ever. How can they laugh right now? Cant they see how broken he is?

"Oh my god," Taehyung rolled his eyes. "You look like a lost puppy. You are really whipped for Y/N arent you?"

"Its about time. Hope he stops being so stupid after this,"

"Yah idiot. Stop being so sad. Y/N only went for a long ass vacation to clear her mind. She will be back soon," A smile instantly graced Jungkook's face. He can feel a huge weight has been lifted. Y/N is coming back! She didnt leave him!

"Wipe that stupid smile of your face," Taehyung glared at him. "It still doesnt mean she will take you back you idiot. You hurt her for five years, and you happily agreed to leave her for some other girl. Even I wouldnt forgive you if I am her,"

"That's true Kook. What you did is kinda shitty," Jimin immediately agreed. "But wait, what about Nari? You cant just break things off with her,"

"I already did..."

"What?!" Two pairs of eyes turned wide at his confession. "You think love is a game? Something you can take lightly? Chase after it when you wanted it and throw away when you dont? Did you know how much Y/N suffered because of he-"

"I do!" He cut his hyung off. "I do know how much she suffered because of Nari, because of me..."Jungkook nibbled his lips as he turned his gaze downwards. His hyungs were right. Would Y/N even forgive him? "But I have realized that Nari is not the girl I have build her up to be. Every memory I had with her is a lie. Y/N... she's the one for me. She's the one who makes me happy. I miss her everyday when I'm not with her. I... I am absolutely head over heels in love with her hyung," Jungkook's confession silenced the two older boys who look at each other, dumbfounded, silently asking the other what the hell had happened between Jungkook and Nari, but they decide that would be a question for another day.

Jungkook stood up and held both their hands in his. "I will win her back hyung. She loves me. I know she does. And I will show her how much I love her. I will never miss to celebrate her birthday this time. Hell, I will celebrate it for one whole year if it means she will smile again. I will let her listen to her favorite song on repeat, take her to her favorite restaurant anytime she wants. I'm no longer haunted by the memory of Nari and I'm going to prove it to her," his eyes turns soft all of a sudden. "All I want is Y/N,"

"Well, you have about a month to think how to get her back then,"

/////

Jungkook chuckles as he watches the video on his phone. The videos of Y/N in his phone is the only saving grace he has to keep him strong for the past weeks as he waits for Y/N's returns. Jimin told him that Y/N has disconnect her phone for an absolute peace of mind, not wanting anyone to get a hold of her. That is how hard she's trying to get over Jungkook. But Jimin also lets him know when she's coming back and he's been waiting for that day for weeks now.

And that day is finally here.

Y/N is coming back today.

He watch the videos again as he leaned his head on the glass window of the van, his manager taking him and his two hyungs who are asleep on each other's shoulders at the back seat to the airport. He is going to wait for her arrival. He's going to surprise her. Jungkook realized he never once spoken to her since their breakup, but he dont need to. He will use the rest of his life in making sure that Y/N knows how much he loves her, wants her, and regret what he did for the last five years.

"Do you love me?" Jungkook hears him asks her in the video playing on his phone, the screen showing her beautiful giggling face.

"How can you ask that? Its impossible not too," she giggle before running off alongside the beach.

"Hey, wait for me. I need my kiss!" The video shakes as he ran and it ends with Y/N giving the screen a kiss, making Jungkook smile.

The next video shows Y/N's sleepy face, grumpy for being woken up too early in the morning.

"Kookie, let me sleep," she whined into the video. "Why are recording me so early in the morning?"

"Because you look beautiful. I want to keep this forever. And I'm bored. Wake up baby," he laughs in the video as Y/N tries to hide her face with the blanket.

The video starts to play the next one, where they were running around in the kitchen, flour all over Y/N's face as he heard himself laughing and the camera shakes.

"Kookie, stop! I'm trying to make you breakfast!"

"I know. But the flour looks better on your face," he giggled. "I love you Y/N," the camera shifted angle to show him leaning in to kiss her. He must have placed it on the counter.

"I love you too Jeon Jungkook. Forever and always. Dont you even dare to break my heart," she poke his nose, making flour stick to it as she laughs.

Jungkook smile, feeling tears are starting to pool at the corner of his eyes. I'm sorry I broke my promise. I'm sorry for breaking your heart baby. He misses her so much. He wants all of this again. He wants to wake up beside her again. Cooking breakfast together, cuddling all day long.

He wants Y/N back in his arms.

Jungkook arrived at the airport ealier than expected, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand, Y/N's favorite flowers. When all the other girls will usually prefer roses, his girlfriend of course have a unique taste.

His girlfriend.

Jungkook really hopes she is willing to hold that title again. He really dont know what to do if she didnt. He swears to be different now. He will make her happy. He will shower her with everything she deserves. He will love her like she has never been love before. That is if Y/N still wants to take him back. Jungkook sigh, fear creeping in his mind. What if Y/N hates him now? What if the vacation is successful and she really did get over him? He did ran back to his ex girlfriend the moment she gave the okay. He smacked his head. What an idiot.

Jungkook shudders as he remembers the last word he says to her, which is months ago.

"And I never said that I wont make you cry..."

He is really an idiot. He really is. How can that be his parting word? If Y/N ever take him back, he swear he will say it to her every single day that he wont ever let her cry ever again. Noy a single tear will grace her eyes. How can he ever say that to her? How can Y/N still accept an idiot like him in the first place?

He paced around the waiting area, anxious and excited both at the same time. Trying to ease his mind, he watches the airport TV which is currently showing some K drama. A few minutes into the show, the program was cut to make way for a breaking news.

"Breaking News: Flight XXXXX bound to Seoul which is expected to arrive today at 1800 was reported to have crash. There were no survivors reported so far. Stay with us for more updates. We wish our sincere condelences to the friends and family of the victin of this tragedy"

Jungkook felt his world spin as he drop the flowers on the ground, losing all strength and collapse on the carpeted floor.

"Hyung... that's..."

"Y/N's flight," Taehyung finishes as he too collapsed on the ground next to Jungkook.

The gasps and cries from people who are also waiting for the same flight around him seems so far away as he can only hear a blinding sound in his ears. Flight XXXXX.

Y/N. Please God no.

Plesse dont take Y/N away from me.

"It cant be her. It cant be right hyung?" Jungkook is hysterical as he turns to both Jimin and Taehyung who is holding him, tears also evident in their eyes. The two kept quiet, not knowing what to say as they too cant believe the news. "It cant be her! It cant be!" Jungkook is yelling through his tears.

"Kookie, calm down. We still dont kn-"

"It cant be her hyung," he wailed. "I need to tell her I was wrong. I need to tell her I'm sorry. I need her to know that I'm happiest when I'm with her, not with someone else. I... I need to tell her I love her. She has to hear me say I love her. She have to, she have to!" Jungkook's cries starts to get weaker as he continue to weeped and wailed on the floor. Taehyung and Jimin engulfed him in a tight hug, both crying just as much as Jungkook himself.

"You didnt get to hear me say that I will love you forever too. I never get to promise you that I wont ever make you cry again. You boarded that plane because you need to get away from me. Me! Your stupid idiotic boyfriend! I'm.. I'm sorry baby. I'm so so sorry baby. I guess you meant what you said... we were not meant for a happy ending. Goodbye my love, goodbye Y/N," Jungkook's voice is muffled by Taehyung's shoulders as he hold them tight, making the other two cry louder at what the maknae is saying.

Memories of their last encounter starts to flood his mind. The way the tears stream down her face as she flashed him one last smile. Jungkook felt his heart break, shattered, ruined to tiny pieces with regret as his last words to her keeps replaying in his mind.

"I never promise you a happy ending, remember?"

"And I never said that I wont make you cry..." he whispered.

"Be happy Jungkook. I will always love you,"

A/N: Andddddd, for those who dont like sad endings, I did say in the announcement that there were no survivors so far. Do you think Y/N survived? Or could she have changed her flight and not boarded the said flight at all? I will leave it to you to decide 😘 Tell me what you think!

[lovvw]

Soft asks tag

Tagged by this gay >>> @aestotles

1. Whats the smell of your shampoo?

Coconut !!!!! yeehaw !!!

2. Whats your aesthetic?

Uhhh eclectic ! Handmade/unpolished! Overalls with paint on em !!!! A look tht shouldnt theoretically work but it does !!! Hanging and laughing w/yr friends as the sunsets on the beach !!!!! platonic handholding !!! Being affectionate and kind with everyone u meet !!!!

3. Whats your favorite time of day?

Nighttime. Esp at like 1 or two in the morning mainly bc i dont have to anything but go to sleep and its super peaceful !! Its just me !! And sometimes my music !!!

4. What do you like lost about the beach?

Im gonna assume this means most ?? Anyway my favorite is when after you bob in the ocean for a while and u go home to sleep u can still feel the ocean when u lay down !!!!!

5. What do you worry about constantly?

God idk my brain is firing on all cylinders constantly !!!! Mostly stuff abt my family ig and school

6. Whats a song you’ve cried to before?

Ash STOLE MINE <.< so rubix cube by athlete or what sarah said by death cab for cutie

7. What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

Just like. Remember tht even tho things are not so great today tomorrow is a whole new day ! Endless possibilities !!!!!

8. What are some things that make you tear up?

Other people crying ! Im a sympathy crier ;w; also every movie ive ever seen i ALWAYS cry at movies even bad ones

9. What is your favorite from each of the five senses?

Sight: my bed

Scent: my dads cologne

Hearing: my fave playlist

Touch: interesting textures :3

Taste: sweet !

10. What is one alternative reality you’d want to be in?

One where im more outgoing 😔 and like. Actually good at interacting with other people alsnsnssndksnsjdwkdndjdk

11. What are some troubles you face on a day to day basis?

Hating how i look/tht im not transitioning yet !!!! Also worrying abt all the paper work tht goes with tht lmao @~@ also tht i come off mean or arrogant bc of how shy i am irl

1. What is one scene of a book that made you really sad?

Im Jared

13. Say something to all of your followers

I love u !!!!!!! Im always rooting for u !!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 also im sorry i dont shut up about star trek 😔😔😔😔😔 esp on twitter

Uhhhhhhh i tag @ducci @selkiefriend @saltymommie @princebian & @beheeyem if yall wanna do it !!! 🥰

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Poor Little Anxious Crybaby (Pt.6)

-------------------------

Virgil had been hanging out with Brennan on a near daily basis by that point, and he didnt think he'd ever been happier. But there was always one thought that lingered in the back of his head.

Well, a few thoughts actually.

When is it to early to say I love you?

What if he asks why your parents got divorced?

What if he asks why you cry so often?

What if he starts to realize you're to emotional?

Virgil merely smiled and pushed the thoughts to the back of his head, content to listen to Brennan explain different concepts to him.

"So Virgil, did you want to hang out at the park today? They have a carriage ride, it's nice and calm, I think that'd be perfect for you wouldnt it?" Brennan said. Virgil had come over to his house for breakfast that day, and he was enjoying it immensely.

"That sounds nice. . ." Virgil replied, sounding slightly distant.

"Are you alright Virgil? You sound unwell," Brennan set his fork down and tilted his head slightly.

"I'm fine- just a little tired," Virgil replied, smiling.

"Awe, poor baby. . . Do you want to hang out in my room for a bit before we leave?" Brennan responded, Virgil merely nodded.

Brennan's room, as always, was covered in white boards with paragraphs of information, with bookcases on either side of the bed, one for books, and one for trophies. Brennan liked to talk about his trophies a lot, how smart they made him, how it meant that he and Virgil would be rich and powerful in the future and Virgil would never have to worry about anything again.

Virgil liked the sound of that, of laying in bed every day just like this, with Brennan running his fingers through his hair, whispering compliments to him as he drifted off to sleep, nothing else to worry about, no school, no drama, just him and Brennan.

He woke up a few hours later with his head buried in Brennan's chest, the latter's arms around his waist.

"You up baby?" Brennan whispered, Virgil nodded slightly.

"You ready to go?" Brennan continued, tracing along Virgil's sides, Virgil nodded again, smiling.

For summer, the day was rather cold and windy, not that Virgil noticed, he wore hoodies in triple digit weather, temperature was meaningless. The trees were swaying with the breeze, Virgil only remained steady due to leaning on Brennan's arm.

"Here we are," Brennan said, walking up to a carriage, two horses were attached at the front, one of which reached its head out to Virgil, nudging him back slightly. Virgil let out a laugh and gave it a few pets on its head before taking Brennan's hand up into the carriage. Virgil always loved the look of the town in early morning, lights everywhere, people just opening up their stores, the smell of the new flowers being set outside of the flower shop, it was bliss. The scenery only improved with the introduction of Brennan, he could lean on his shoulder as Brennan ran his fingers through his hair, and no one could tell him he wasnt loved, because here was proof he was.

"Virgil?" Brennan said, his hand freezing in the middle of massaging Virgil's back. Virgil lifted his head up slightly and made a noise rather like a cat being woken up from a very extensive nap.

"I wanted to talk to you about something, you dont have to tell me if you dont want to, but I really would like to know," Virgil felt a chill run down his spine.

"Wh-what is it?" He replied, his grip on Brennan's hand tightening slightly.

"I want you to tell me what's bothering you, why you're always so jumpy, I want to help you, I want you to be able to live without breaking down every day, it hurts to see you like that," Brennan said, resuming the massaging of Virgil's back.

"I dont really know. . . It's kind of a cruel irony thing I guess. . . See, when I was born, I cried pretty nonstop for about a week, my brother, he was five at the time so I suppose I cant blame him, especially since its inconsequential now, thought the fact that I was called a crybaby so often meant that was my name, so it stuck until I changed it last summer," Virgil said. Brennan's eyes went wide.

"Anything else?" He continued, now pressing his thumb against Virgil's lower back.

"I got made fun of for it, a lot, my dad always said that it was because I was to emotional, but it always felt like that was the right reaction for me, because if I'm crying it'll make other people look bad for making me cry," Virgil continued.

"That's very clever of you," Brennan said, smiling as he moved back to running his fingers through Virgil's hair.

"So what do you think happened with your parents that made them split?" Brennan said, Virgil barely even registered the question before he opened his mouth, to content to listen fully.

"Dad was cheating on Papa, they argued about it a lot at night, and then Dad threw a wine bottle at Papa, I think that's what did it," Virgil was relaxed for a few more seconds before he realized what he'd said. He pushed away from Brennan, huddling himself in the corner of the carriage.

No no not here- not now! I'm on a date! But it was to late, he was already crying, he folded his arms over his chest.

"Oh nonono baby, shhh, it's ok, I shouldnt have asked, it's ok, it's not your fault, shhh," Brennan pulled Virgil back over to him, holding the smaller boy close to his chest. Virgil clasped Brennan's hand in his own, squeezing it tightly.

He didnt tell Patton about the conversation when he got home, merely ran up to the bathroom to lay in the tub for a few hours, one of his favorite things to do after an upsetting experience. He only hoped Brennan wouldn't tell anyone else about what he'd said.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@youtuberswithalex

@spooky-scary-virgil

@meowthefluffy

@spooky-scary-virgil

@boobmaster69

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

@melodiread

@thefivecalls

@sleepless-emo

@faycanyons

@maryann-draws

@deathcanbegreat

[wheredidallthedreamersgo]

God damn animals 1

So, I wrote something for animal kingdom. ITS not good at all but ya know whatver I wanted to post it. My writing is shit but I had an idea and went with it. Maybe y'all will like it.

So this'll follow the show with some twists of my own. I love Craig Cody. There aren't enough fics for him or this fandom. I started this a while ago like a year ago I think it's ready to be read by other people.

The oc looks however you want her to. But she's short cause I love tall guys with short women.

Warnings: drugs, cursing. The first part is pretty slow

Craig Cody/oc

-------------------------------

Kyha sat at the counter rolling a joint while Smurf made her smoothie or whatever she was making with the loud ass juicer.

She was Craigs girl and Deran's best friend. Which, is how she met Craig.

She was about five foot three and was the youngest of three. She had two older brothers. David or davey and buddy. Her father was the president of the local Vagos biker gang in Oceanside. Her eldest brother Davey or Tink, was a member of the of the gang as well.

Kyah listening to Baz and Deran go over a few details about the job they were about to pull as she was licking the joint closed. She froze when a disheveled sandy haired teen came in the kitchen. She stared at him confused, no idea who he was.

"Wow, I sure would step over you if I saw you in the gutter. Hope that means you slept well, baby. How about those sheets, huh?" Smurf asked the teen. Kyah frowned and sat up straighter looking over to the small blonde on the other side of the counter for an answer.

" 500-thread count, just tell her you noticed." Baz said as Kyah looked back to the teen who nodded still watching smurf. "Uh Yeah they were great. Thank you." The teen said with a strained smile. Kyah grabbed her lighter off the counter and lit her joint openly staring at the boy.

"Only the best for my boys. By the way, this is Kyah. She's Craig's girl." Smurf said as kyah blew out a couple o rings. The boy turned to her and gave her a strained smile. "I'm j." He said sticking his hands in his pockets. Kyah arched an eyebrow at him still confused as to who he was.

"That's julia's kid." Deran said loudly so he could be heard over the juicer. Kyah looked back at him in surprise, raising her eyebrows. Silently asking if he was serious. It was risky in her mind, to bring a stranger in so close to when they were about to do a job. Deran nodded and rolled his eyes over to smurf then back to her. telling her that it was smurfs idea. He seemed to be as unimpressed with this development as she was, probably more so since he was the baby of the family. She tried to remember if Craig had said anything the night before about J. but it was no use she only remembered the drinking and the girl they had brought back with them.

Kyah looked back to J and gave him a sad smile. he couldn't help that his mom was a junkie and had died when she did. Kyah had the distinct feeling that deran had already made it known his displeasure with the situation. She didn't want to add to the boy feeling even more unwelcomed.

"Hey man great to meet you, sorry about your mom." She said holding her hand out to him. He hesitated before taking a hand out of his pocket and shaking it. "Thanks." He mumbled sticking his hand back in his pocket and looking over to smurf.

Kyah turned and offered the joint to deran who came over and gave her the paper in trade. She unfolded it and held it in front of her face as a ruse to talk to deran. She looked up at the blonde who was leaning against the counter beside her puffing on the joint.

"Is this really happening? Or am I super stoned?" She whispered. Her best friend nodded slowly and exhaled a large cloud of smoke then passed the joint back to her. Kyah shook her head in disbelief and shook the paper out reading the head line.

"Sit down, baby. You must be starving." Smurf said. Kyah set the paper down on the counter and leaned over it as J said. "Uh, could I just start with coffee please? J asked. Kyah looked over at him then to smurf as the woman pointed to he corner of the counter behind her. "Right there in the pot." she said and continued juicing. The pretty brunette went back to reading the paper as she puffed from her joint.

"Hey, what did I say?! What the hell did I say if it woke me up again?! Huh?! " Craig yelled pounding on the top of the cabinets. Kyah looked up and smirked then looked over to smurf who had stopped juicing. She puffed out her cheeks and shot Kyah a look. It was something like she knew she had been caught and didn't want to deal with Craigs raging. Kyah smiled and turned her body, looked over at Deran and Baz with a with a knowing grin that they reciprocated. She laughed when Craig stormed into the kitchen completely naked.

"Just do it already, man." Deran said looking over to his brother before taking a bite out of his muffin. "Yeah, do it already, man, yeah." Baz pitched in sipping his coffee. Kyah leaned her elbow on the counter and grinned checking craig out.

"Yeah?! Yeah? Wh-Where is that hammer?! Where is that hammer?" Craig shouted, snatching the juicer off the counter and whirling around to look for the hammer to destroy the juicer with.

"Can't you just smash it on the floor?" Kyah asked with a smile, holding her chin in her hand. Craig turned glaring at her. "Oh, you don't think I'll do it! No, I'm gonna do it!" He said nodding his head. Kyah nodded her head as well, mocking him. He had threatened to do it so many times before that none of them actually believed him anymore. It was just comical to watch him lose his shit.

"Do it." Baz goaded. Kyah giggled and quickly covered her mouth with her hand as she hunched over the counter kicking her feet back in forth.

Smurf sent them all glares and looked back to Craig trying to get control of the situation. "Do it. You bought it." Smurf said walking over to him. Craig stared at his mother visibly confused but still pretty hyped up. He shook his head and Kyah wasn't sure if he was denying that he bought the juicer which was probably a lie or that he was confused and wasn't sure what Smurf was talking about. Either way, Kyah couldn't control her laughter. She snorted loudly and covered her face with her hands as craig whirled around looking for the hammer.

"No, I didn't!" Craig exclaimed looking down at his mother. Kyah spluttered, smoking her joint and coughing when Smurf shot her a dirty look. "Yeah, actually, you did. You always forget my birthday. I bought it for you and I gave it to me. I wrapped it up really nice and I loved it, baby. I still love it." The blonde said placating Craig. He sighed and nodded athen set the juicer back on the counter. Smurf smiled and patted his chest. "Gimme a kiss." She said. Craig bent a little and smurf kissed his cheek

Kyah started crying with laughter. "nice save. The juicer lives to see another day." she choked out wiping away her tears Dean and Baz started laughing with her and she covered her face with her hands.

"shut up Kyah." Smurf snapped. Kyah sighed still chuckling a little bit. Smurf glared at her as Craig squinted at from his post beside his mother and she bit her lip to keep herself from laughing more.

Will your friend be joining us for breakfast?" smurf asked looking between kyah abd Craig. The pair shared a look and craig grinned. "God, i hope not." Kyah muttered picking the paper up. she went back to the article she was reading and felt eyed on looked around. "what?" she asked raising her eyebrows. she stared at j then looked to Deran and baz.

Baz shook his head and she rolled her eyes. "she wasn't that great." sge saud ast tee judgemental look she received. Craig chuckled abd she looked at him for help. "was she?" she asked her man grinned and shook his head. "i don't think so. she cried halfway through then passed out!" She said "alright enough." baz said. she looked over to him offended. "what do you mean enough? i'm not allowed to critique?" she asked placing her hand over her cheat as she asked. she still here. baz said. rose scoffed and rolled her eyes. and? if she could hold her liquor i wouldn't be bitching right now. rose countered as she turned tl look at him fully. let her habder some dignity. bad said rose blinked abd raised her eyebrows.

by the i always wondered whats Cath like? she asked setting the paper down. Craig sputtered on his coffee amd baz glowered at her. she shrugged innocently as smurfk barked that enough rose she looked at the blonde and shrugged what its just a question i mean unless hea insecure with his abilities there shouldnt be a problem. not everuone is as comfortable with their sex life as you are smurf said rose smirkef amd shruggwd smugly. amd thats a damn shame. rise said getting up to bg some coffee. Craig wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. sge smiled abd rubbed his chest as she looked up at him.

"j you gotta eat something." rose said grabbing an apple off tbd counter abd leaning bavk against Craig. "I'll grab something on the way to school." rose stopped with the apple halfway to her mouth a little shocked that the kid wanted to school the day after his mother had died. she looked over at him slowly then up to craig who was frowning. he raised his eyebrows. and her eyes moved slowly down his body appreciating everything she saw. She shook he "You don't have to go to school. I think they'll understand the reason." She said and bit in to her apple. "Its okay." J said she arched an eyebrow at him. "I mean whatever." She said after swallowing her b bite. "Let him alone." Smurf said glaring at her. She sure did love that look it was like the tenth time that morning. Rose just shrugged and focused on finishing her apple. She tuned everyone else out and fell into her own thoughts.

"rose you wanna go?" deran asked she looked over at him and blinked. confused. "huh?" she asked sitting up more and looking from him to Craig trying to get clues on what they had been talking about. the blonde smirked at her and nodded to J. "wanna go with us surfing?" rose stretched and shrugged with a smile. "Yeah, I'm down." she said abd checked her phone seeing she got a text back from her boss teddy. she rolled her eyes grumbling as shot a reply. "what." craig asked coming over to her. She sighed and motioned to her phone. "fucking teddy man i called him asking for tomorrow off and he's being a dick." she said hopping off the stool. "you never ask off." craig said shocked. "thank you! You think He'd give me one goddamn day." rose said waving her hands in the air. She huffed and raked her hands through her hair regaining control of her anger. "i don't know if i'll keep going. Josey was cool as shit but his guy? no bueno." she said shaking her head. She looked up from her phone. craig rubbed her back and she rolled her eyes some more.

Baz sighed and set his cup down shooting a glance to J who had been watching the little redhead rant. "you can't quit everytime you don't like a boss." baz said. rose chuckled and looked at him with an oh really kind of look.

"I can and I will. I have no passion for it anymore. It's just me pulling everyone's weight and it isn't fair. I barely get paid and I've been a lifeguard for how long baz? i've trained everyone there. i have seniority and just because i look like im a fucking teen he acts like i don't know how to do my job or can't do it. who pulled that fucking giant out of the tide by herself? rose asked with her hands on her hips. "me that's who. Without anyone's help I might just add! can't pull my weight? fuck that and fuck teddy." she snapped rolling her shoulders and looking around the room. " I do all that and he can't give me one god damn day? Nah fuck that, son. i'm calling him. tellin him to hop off my goddamn dick." she muttered brushing her hair off her shoulders angrily. she marched off dialing dialing a number. "Jesus." baz said shaking his head. "I think you hit a sore spot." Deran said with a grin. "Right?" Craig said with a laugh shaking his head. The room felt less tense with Rose out of it and they were able to breathe easy for a moment.

j looked over at Baz before speaking. "are you going?" he asked hopefully. Baz shook his head and pushed off the counter. "i doesn't the night gotta go check on my kid." he said making his way to the sink and rinsing out his cup. he kissed smurf and started leaving when the woman said. "tell cath to bring lena over." He nodded and waved goodbye to the rest of them.

[liliumwallichianum]

finna ask myself these cause nobody else will

ASK ME THINGS

*SO I started writing these a long time ago and never finished them so I’m gonna just add all my answers (06/04/2017) in bold enjoy neethz

***EDIT AGAIN this is so wild... 3 years later.... I was so depressed, hated my relationship clearly, and hated myself? Writing on 4/10/2020 and starting at #49 first pass so I can actually finish and publish lol.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

typical @richiericherson; good morning lol 

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

4months datin; wow! 6 months dating :) 

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

is this a joke? we’re both into them it’s coo; same answer as previous :) 

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yee; same

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober; same

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

oh yeah HAHAHA; have i though? 

7. What does your last received text say?

“yes”; have fun studying

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

a million and one; and a million more

9. Where was your last kiss at?

in ma bifs bed; my bed this time surprise surprise

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

today morning her bitchass lives w me ; 40 min ago... still live w her bitchass

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water, a smoothie; coffee. ugh the deprogression 

12. Where did you sleep last night?

my bifs; my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

hardest; shouldnt be but they are

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

yeah probably work a little harder at the end of last semester; idk a lot i feel but i cant look back specifically and pick things out. i would change almost everything if i could

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

no that would be perfect; yeah we’d just hella yell at each other

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

both but sunny; both but rainy :/ 

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

my sister; same

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

pajama shorts; joggers

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

probably; yeah 

20. Does anyone like you?

yee i hope so ; yeah

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

ummm lemme check.. yup 2 people!; still 2 hahah

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

no hahaha; sometimes lol

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

not really there’s all love here; that dunt from hs lol

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yeah just let sarah give me one; can’t believe it’s been 2 months

25. In the past week have you cried?

yeah im weirdly pmsing or im depressed cant tell which; LMFAOOOOOOOO IM SO PREDICTABLE. literally sitting here crying... still dont know if it’s pms or depression 

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

golden :) great dane

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

out out out; out

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

no i wish; still wish but tbh i probably have

29. Do you think you’re old?

not at all; TOO OLD BUT TOO YOUNG IDK

30. Do you like text messaging?

not at all; grown to like or tolerate ig

31. What type of day are you having?

stressful cause orgo quiz soon and i know nothing; a normal day. 

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

already have it pierced!; sameee

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold i think; cold ? ugh idk 

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yes my bf; my dad.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

idk about this one tbh.... probably relationship; relationship 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

both; i try honestly i try

37. What song are you listening to?

none; redemption

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

mostly no... lol i say sorry to ease the situation; nah 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

not even close lol 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

i was lonely.. peer pressure...  41. When did you last receive a text message?

like just now 42. What is wrong with you right now?

idk i want it to stop though. i want overall sadness to stop . 

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

p well she’s one of my bffs at wayne 44. Does anyone disgust you?

yea fam almost everyone lol 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no considering i have a bf 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

i wish  47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

simran  48. What color shirt are you wearing?

black. did u even think differently ?  49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

Probably something bout swap 50. Anyone you’re giving up on? Tryin to give up on swap, giving up on Frank

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

Yes.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Swap? Def DONT want him back but can’t let him go 53. Do you like rain?

Yes 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

No unless they’re crazy on it aka swap 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Probably 56. Do you like to cuddle?

So much..... with Y only 57. Are you shy?

Nah 58. Do you get along with girls?

Yes! I think 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

No... well kinda? I guess I’ve dated Alex 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

Chapstick, my animal print scrunchie 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Yeah 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Yes 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

Unfortunately 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Yas 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Yeah, all the boys I’m talking to supporting me lol

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

23/22, 28, 24?

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

Pay 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

Leopard 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

Hell no 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

Weezy f baby 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

Android ugh miss mine 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

Wowwwwwww probably the last year 73. Do you like diet soda?    Nah 74. What color are the walls in your room?    Blue w stars 75. Are you 16 or older?    Yes 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    I used to 77. Do you have a job?    Yes being a Med Student   78. What are your initials?    NUS 79. Did you ever have braces?    Nope 80. Are you from the south?    Yup south INDIA

81. What does your last status on facebook say?   Supporting Michelle and sharing her article   82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    No lmfao Meiyan 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?     Probs mom

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    No 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    Ugh idek something w swap? 86. Do you smoke?    Yes 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    Flip 88. Is your phone touch screen?    Yes 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?   Wavey  90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    Hell yeah 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    Lake 92. Have you ever made out in a car?    Yes 93. …Had sex in a car?    Yesssss best sex ever ugh 94. Are you single or in a relationship?    Single 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    Sleeping 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    July 4? 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    No 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    Yes 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    Yes 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    Yes 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    Yes 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    Bro no 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    Yes kinda 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? Yeah if I was going to faster horses lmaoo